Do i need id for the cubana bus
Mushroom ID
2013.06.28 23:51 LaMouth Mushroom ID
A virtual temple for exploring the fascinating world of mushrooms. Focused on the sharing of knowledge and ideas relating to the identification of unknown species in the wild, or acquired fungi by other means. Users can submit identity requests with input from the community. ShroomID was fundamentally created for the safety of the curious. Intentionally providing false information, or advising users to consume unknown fungi is not tolerated.
2010.02.18 19:44 tomatohs Rutgers University
The official subreddit for Rutgers University RU RAH RAH
2010.09.01 00:21 soxfanpdx Bug identification! All insects, spiders, crustaceans, etc. welcome!
Bug identification! All insects, spiders, crustaceans, etc. welcome!
2024.05.14 10:11 Ikillwhatieat don't know what you got till it's gone
So, I've been a semi nomadic sketchbag for my entire adult life(39afab), and disabled since before i grew tits. campers , buses, backpacks, hitching from NY to ATL to The ville, haggling with chinatown bus drivers, the occasional hop out of rocky mount, trading tit pics for airline credit or gas, whoring for truck repairs, facilitating psychoactives, etc etc. last year i ended up in the hospital, numb from the waist down, not because of a car wreck, fight, or fall.... because i grew a cyst inside one of my vertebrae. two emergency surgeries in a week . I was told I'd never walk again, made peace with the fact id never have another genital orgasm, and started learning how to straight cath myself so i could be independent of the piss bag. To everyone else's surprise, i got competent with a wheelchair , and then a walker, and now i use a cane about half the time. no need to catheterize, and i can use my genitals again. Pretty awesome. but what sucks is.... i can't even carry water. a gallon is 8#. my lift limit is five pounds, and even that is agony to carry for more than about 2 miles. recently relocated on the word of former partner, and they have basically hung me out to dry - housing was promised but not actually available, and i don't have like 3k laying around to toss at a lease... and, Praise Eris, how frustrating. it's damn near summer, weather's good, there's hella urban camping available. but i can't even haul water. i use rolling luggage for my personal 'property. so instead of making camp and figuring out stuff from the comfort of my own independence, I'm begging friends and family to help me stay.. somewhere. I'm going to have to leave this city/region to have stability again, and doing so means i have to drop out of school. you dont know what you got till it's gone. your health and the accompanying ability to do what you need to is fucking invaluable. to all you vagabonds: take care of yourselves. hop a freightliner for me. hike that ravine that i can't. tell your sled dogs FASTER, for me. i hope one day i will be well enough to shrug off being tossed on. the street as the minor inconvenience it used to be, but until then... get it, y'all. don't let your spirit die. see you on the road.
submitted by Ikillwhatieat to vagabond [link] [comments]
2024.05.14 09:23 MrKurthal When I was 19 I agreed to take "Phantom Drive." It's been 7 years, and I'm starting to remember my other life. [Part One]
You make pretty regrettable mistakes when you're desperate. Unfortunately, desperation would go on to cost me much more than I ever thought possible.
When I was 19 years old my financial situation wasn't great. In what was left of a crumbling home would be my recovering addict twin sister, and myself. The unfortunate state of our home was all from the even more unfortunate passing of our parents just five years prior. The two hadn't died tragically by any means, thankfully. No.. our parents died of old age, a consequence of having us kids later in life, while not being able to take on the financial burden that would be.. us.
My sister was making the early steps into the college lifestyle, doing her best to stay afloat with my support in funding. Money was tight for the two of us, but as she became more well off on her own, the more content she was with severing the last remaining tie to her childhood.. me.
I didn't hate Xel for her decision, if anything I understood her distancing from this life.. even if it saddened me. So then it was just me! Left to a house with a hole in the ceiling. Believe it or not, life wasn't all to bad even with how considerably down in the dumps it otherwise seemed to be.
However, content as I might have been, it's human nature to want more than you have. Can't say I was to greedy to look for some comfortability in my own home..
And so there it was! The glistening letters of ink outlining my salvation. An advertisement I'd found plastered onto the wall of the small booth I sat at while I waited for the bus to carry me off to work. "$5,000 to those compatible for a recent scientific breakthrough." Under any 'normal' circumstances I would consider this a scam. Hell, I was skeptical as I scanned the letters. Had I been told of this opportunity through spam call or text I would've glossed right over it just as anyone else would have.. but I was desperate.
I think it was the fact that someone, some real person had to have put this paper up on this wall gave me some glimmer of hope for a quick cash grab. Listed bellow the promise of money was details for a number to call regarding interest in the proposition.
I took the bait.. I saw the line, and like some idiot I clamped my teeth down just for that hook to sweep me away.
The corporation I'd come to know as, "The Arsaction," would see me just a week later. There was a brief consultation. They took my weight, age, all things I would've expected. It wasn't until they pulled records regarding my familial situation that I began to find this whole ordeal.. suspicious.
To 'begin' to find things suspicious only at this point is foolish, something I full understand, but I feel the need to reinforce the fact that I, Lex McKarthy, was desperate.
Everything by this point seemed pretty legit. The blood tests, the doctors office, the tests were.. reasonable. What was I to suspect? Everything was so vague, and truth be told I honestly didn't even expect anything to come of this visit. All the doctors, all the consultants seemed so disinterested in my features.. but when they realized I had no one, everything seemed to change.
Suddenly ears perked, suddenly doors closed, suddenly I was.. exactly what they were looking for. Every feature of myself was so painfully average. I was anyman, I was.. nothing. Despite their best efforts to be discreate, I knew it was only the fact that nobody would come looking for me that peaked their interests.
My stomach dropped when I was faced with a pen in my hand, trembling over that NDA. Every fiber of me cursed myself for never considering putting just a minute of research into 'The Arsaction,' however a video briefing would ease my nerves. Nobody knew who The Arsaction was. There was no public record of their existence, and that NDA would make sure that they continued to never exist.
I was stupid, I was irrational, I was in over my head! But I was desperate.. and I had nothing else.
"I have nothing else.. I have nothing else!"
It was a mantra I chanted as I was injected with that substance. The substance that turned my blood orange, made my skin freakishly thin.
And then I went home.
That was it. I was given my sum of money, and I was sent home. They told me I was, "good to go," and no number of questions would get a one of them to speak. I was only met with who I'd assume to be security guiding me out of the building.
Not a word more of what I'd just been injected with, only given instructions to not dwell on mirrors for too long. That was it, just some ominous instructions. So I left, as befuddled as I arrived. Relief washed over me as I made my way home. The anxiety I'd received from such an ominous buildup was all waved by the fact that I was somehow just.. good to go?
Relief quickly turned to panic as the inherent nature of it all being too good to be true set in. I expected to die, I expected some visit from government agents, I expected anything and everything, but as months turned to years.. Nothing ever came of it. No mirror ever caused me any harm, which was its own anxiety I'd have to overcome simply because of the absurd nature or such a request.
I hoped it was.. some prank. Everything was well... for a time. Until my sister called.
I just.. watched the phone ring. My sister, someone who I hadn't spoken to in upwards of 8 years was suddenly ringing me up. When I finally had answered, her question left me speechless.
"Hey Lex. would you happen to remember Mom's recipe for that egg toast? I think I left the cookbook at your place."
I felt my ears ring. The question was so.. casual. She entirely skipped the part where we discussed how she's been, how I'm doing. She spoke to me like we'd hung out only days ago.
At the time I'd thought I was just being dramatic, but looking back on it I can only justify my own hesitation to respond.
"W-..what?"
I stammered like a fool, but I was firm in my disbelief.
"Yeah, it should be in the book on the counter?"
I looked over my shoulder to my kitchen counter, past the toaster I never bought, and over to the book she spoke of. My jaw hung heavy, the whole interaction feeling like a dream.
With one hand I held the phone, and with the other I began to skim the pages of the book letting my eyes linger on mom's cinnamon roll recipe for a bit longer than intended.
"Lex.. are you ok?"
My sister inquired on the other end. I suddenly felt sick.. falling the the ground and laying on my back. This wasn't happening. It never did.
"Lex? Are you alright!?"
My sister repeated back more urgently, followed by her assurance that she would be over soon to check on him. But.. no company ever arrived. After hours the line just dropped, and I fell asleep there on that cold, wooden floor, paralyzed with a feeling I couldn't wrap my head around.
This never happened.
I never left.
I woke up in my bed in a cold sweat. I checked the time, greeted with a humble 4:37 in the morning. What troubled me was the fact that the date had been set back 7 years.
Of course it wasn't all so clear to me. After 7 long years I'd honestly forgotten about this day. This was the day that I'd set out for my graciously provided $5,000
7 years of my fucking life.. I would chalk it all up to that.. STUFF that they injected me with.. what was it? Phantom Drive? I could call it all some terrible drug trip, some construct defined by some insane psychedelic, but if that were the case, how was I here now? BEFORE I'd ever taken the drug?
This is a dream. I convinced myself I hadn't miraculously gone back in time, that 7 years of my life weren't a lie, but if that were the case, why was my blood still that damn orangy hue?
I'm losing sleep over this itch in my brain. It's like some taste of blood in my mouth has soured out the idea that letting my eyelids squeeze shut could further obscure my definite understanding of when I stood.
A day I remember so vividly at the ripe age of 14 years old, now 12 years ago, I awoke to the sweet smell of cinnamon rolls filling the air. All was right with the world, all as I climbed from the messy sheets in my dark room. It was abundantly clear that the bulb of the light beside my bed had burnt out over the course of the night, and the closed blinds didn't aid my vision as I stumbled around my room in search of my door.
An oddity presented itself in the fashion of aimless wondering. Where was the nob? One I'd become so accustomed to.. not needing to open? I'd never closed my door. Not the previous night, not ever. Not to the behest of my mother who'd always taken annoyance to closed doors, some trait of my grandmother's to which my mom had unfortunately inherited.
Breakfast took the form of two strips of bacon, scrambled eggs, and slightly burnt French-Toast. My previous assumption of cinnamon rolls unfortunately missed the mark, however I wouldn't object to this. I wish I could convince myself that I was wrong. Something so mundane, something so insignificant to the events in this story, however the first notable instance of a curse that I couldn't pinpoint
My mother had already seen herself off to work by this point, and so I was faced with the responsibilities of seeing myself out to the bus. Some routine I'd become far too used to; The minutes passed, leaving me with nothing to do but wait by the door for a buss that would never arrive.
If the door being shut and the cinnamon rolls being a different meal entirely had left me with a minor confusion, then suddenly being seated in the passenger seat of my mother's car listening to the nonchalant complaints from my twin sister about the nuances freshmen year math shot me into a disarray I couldn't possibly quantify.
I think one of the scariest things for me is the fact that I thought nothing of it. I hadn't freaked out. No scene was made to express what should have been one of the more disturbing instances of my childhood.
I could chalk up the mistaking breakfast for something else as me just misremembering events.. But something unmistakable is the fact that somehow my mom both never drove me to school, yet the fact that she.. always had.
If you're confused, I understand. I am too, because the contradicting nature of my memory is something that haunts me to no end.
Things were easier as a child. That's often the case, but ever sense I stopped aging, I've begun to notice the oddities presented by life that are.. inexplainable. I'm not even sure where to start with researching my predicament. Hell, this is reddit! If I couldn't find an answer here, I doubt there is an answer to be found at all.
The Mandela Effect is something that I feel needs no introduction. To those who don't know, the Mandela Effect, in brief, is a phenomenon that incurs when you "misremember" something. Think of a card, now imagine you saw that card as a child and it had a single heart drawn on it's center. Now, years later you are discussing this card with someone else just for them to tell you that the heart you swear, the heart you KNOW you saw.. was a diamond. You tell them they are wrong, you shake your head, chuckle nervously.. But then they present you with the card.
Your stomach drops. This can't be the card, there is no way! Only it is the card, and when you come to the realization that it is in fact the card you'd seen as a child, you are filled with a mix of confusion, fascination, and quite possibly denial.
Most often, the Mandela Effect is associated with silly things like books titles, and board game mascots, but my experience is far beyond such things. It's the only phenomenon I've found that seems even within the realm of explaining my predicament. Problem is, the more I think, the more is wrong.
All of me wishes it all ended with that one childhood experience! But it didn't. In fact, the more I consider my childhood, the more contradictions I notice. Part of me believes I could handle this if it was limited to my childhood, but it's not. This.. experience... It effects my every day!
I'm not losing my mind, I'm just picking up crumbs that I never dropped. Not.. losing my mind, just finding more "mind" than the inventory should account for.
submitted by MrKurthal to nosleep [link] [comments]
When I was 19 years old my financial situation wasn't great. In what was left of a crumbling home would be my recovering addict twin sister, and myself. The unfortunate state of our home was all from the even more unfortunate passing of our parents just five years prior. The two hadn't died tragically by any means, thankfully. No.. our parents died of old age, a consequence of having us kids later in life, while not being able to take on the financial burden that would be.. us.
My sister was making the early steps into the college lifestyle, doing her best to stay afloat with my support in funding. Money was tight for the two of us, but as she became more well off on her own, the more content she was with severing the last remaining tie to her childhood.. me.
I didn't hate Xel for her decision, if anything I understood her distancing from this life.. even if it saddened me. So then it was just me! Left to a house with a hole in the ceiling. Believe it or not, life wasn't all to bad even with how considerably down in the dumps it otherwise seemed to be.
However, content as I might have been, it's human nature to want more than you have. Can't say I was to greedy to look for some comfortability in my own home..
And so there it was! The glistening letters of ink outlining my salvation. An advertisement I'd found plastered onto the wall of the small booth I sat at while I waited for the bus to carry me off to work. "$5,000 to those compatible for a recent scientific breakthrough." Under any 'normal' circumstances I would consider this a scam. Hell, I was skeptical as I scanned the letters. Had I been told of this opportunity through spam call or text I would've glossed right over it just as anyone else would have.. but I was desperate.
I think it was the fact that someone, some real person had to have put this paper up on this wall gave me some glimmer of hope for a quick cash grab. Listed bellow the promise of money was details for a number to call regarding interest in the proposition.
I took the bait.. I saw the line, and like some idiot I clamped my teeth down just for that hook to sweep me away.
The corporation I'd come to know as, "The Arsaction," would see me just a week later. There was a brief consultation. They took my weight, age, all things I would've expected. It wasn't until they pulled records regarding my familial situation that I began to find this whole ordeal.. suspicious.
To 'begin' to find things suspicious only at this point is foolish, something I full understand, but I feel the need to reinforce the fact that I, Lex McKarthy, was desperate.
Everything by this point seemed pretty legit. The blood tests, the doctors office, the tests were.. reasonable. What was I to suspect? Everything was so vague, and truth be told I honestly didn't even expect anything to come of this visit. All the doctors, all the consultants seemed so disinterested in my features.. but when they realized I had no one, everything seemed to change.
Suddenly ears perked, suddenly doors closed, suddenly I was.. exactly what they were looking for. Every feature of myself was so painfully average. I was anyman, I was.. nothing. Despite their best efforts to be discreate, I knew it was only the fact that nobody would come looking for me that peaked their interests.
My stomach dropped when I was faced with a pen in my hand, trembling over that NDA. Every fiber of me cursed myself for never considering putting just a minute of research into 'The Arsaction,' however a video briefing would ease my nerves. Nobody knew who The Arsaction was. There was no public record of their existence, and that NDA would make sure that they continued to never exist.
I was stupid, I was irrational, I was in over my head! But I was desperate.. and I had nothing else.
"I have nothing else.. I have nothing else!"
It was a mantra I chanted as I was injected with that substance. The substance that turned my blood orange, made my skin freakishly thin.
And then I went home.
That was it. I was given my sum of money, and I was sent home. They told me I was, "good to go," and no number of questions would get a one of them to speak. I was only met with who I'd assume to be security guiding me out of the building.
Not a word more of what I'd just been injected with, only given instructions to not dwell on mirrors for too long. That was it, just some ominous instructions. So I left, as befuddled as I arrived. Relief washed over me as I made my way home. The anxiety I'd received from such an ominous buildup was all waved by the fact that I was somehow just.. good to go?
Relief quickly turned to panic as the inherent nature of it all being too good to be true set in. I expected to die, I expected some visit from government agents, I expected anything and everything, but as months turned to years.. Nothing ever came of it. No mirror ever caused me any harm, which was its own anxiety I'd have to overcome simply because of the absurd nature or such a request.
I hoped it was.. some prank. Everything was well... for a time. Until my sister called.
I just.. watched the phone ring. My sister, someone who I hadn't spoken to in upwards of 8 years was suddenly ringing me up. When I finally had answered, her question left me speechless.
"Hey Lex. would you happen to remember Mom's recipe for that egg toast? I think I left the cookbook at your place."
I felt my ears ring. The question was so.. casual. She entirely skipped the part where we discussed how she's been, how I'm doing. She spoke to me like we'd hung out only days ago.
At the time I'd thought I was just being dramatic, but looking back on it I can only justify my own hesitation to respond.
"W-..what?"
I stammered like a fool, but I was firm in my disbelief.
"Yeah, it should be in the book on the counter?"
I looked over my shoulder to my kitchen counter, past the toaster I never bought, and over to the book she spoke of. My jaw hung heavy, the whole interaction feeling like a dream.
With one hand I held the phone, and with the other I began to skim the pages of the book letting my eyes linger on mom's cinnamon roll recipe for a bit longer than intended.
"Lex.. are you ok?"
My sister inquired on the other end. I suddenly felt sick.. falling the the ground and laying on my back. This wasn't happening. It never did.
"Lex? Are you alright!?"
My sister repeated back more urgently, followed by her assurance that she would be over soon to check on him. But.. no company ever arrived. After hours the line just dropped, and I fell asleep there on that cold, wooden floor, paralyzed with a feeling I couldn't wrap my head around.
This never happened.
I never left.
I woke up in my bed in a cold sweat. I checked the time, greeted with a humble 4:37 in the morning. What troubled me was the fact that the date had been set back 7 years.
Of course it wasn't all so clear to me. After 7 long years I'd honestly forgotten about this day. This was the day that I'd set out for my graciously provided $5,000
7 years of my fucking life.. I would chalk it all up to that.. STUFF that they injected me with.. what was it? Phantom Drive? I could call it all some terrible drug trip, some construct defined by some insane psychedelic, but if that were the case, how was I here now? BEFORE I'd ever taken the drug?
This is a dream. I convinced myself I hadn't miraculously gone back in time, that 7 years of my life weren't a lie, but if that were the case, why was my blood still that damn orangy hue?
I'm losing sleep over this itch in my brain. It's like some taste of blood in my mouth has soured out the idea that letting my eyelids squeeze shut could further obscure my definite understanding of when I stood.
A day I remember so vividly at the ripe age of 14 years old, now 12 years ago, I awoke to the sweet smell of cinnamon rolls filling the air. All was right with the world, all as I climbed from the messy sheets in my dark room. It was abundantly clear that the bulb of the light beside my bed had burnt out over the course of the night, and the closed blinds didn't aid my vision as I stumbled around my room in search of my door.
An oddity presented itself in the fashion of aimless wondering. Where was the nob? One I'd become so accustomed to.. not needing to open? I'd never closed my door. Not the previous night, not ever. Not to the behest of my mother who'd always taken annoyance to closed doors, some trait of my grandmother's to which my mom had unfortunately inherited.
Breakfast took the form of two strips of bacon, scrambled eggs, and slightly burnt French-Toast. My previous assumption of cinnamon rolls unfortunately missed the mark, however I wouldn't object to this. I wish I could convince myself that I was wrong. Something so mundane, something so insignificant to the events in this story, however the first notable instance of a curse that I couldn't pinpoint
My mother had already seen herself off to work by this point, and so I was faced with the responsibilities of seeing myself out to the bus. Some routine I'd become far too used to; The minutes passed, leaving me with nothing to do but wait by the door for a buss that would never arrive.
If the door being shut and the cinnamon rolls being a different meal entirely had left me with a minor confusion, then suddenly being seated in the passenger seat of my mother's car listening to the nonchalant complaints from my twin sister about the nuances freshmen year math shot me into a disarray I couldn't possibly quantify.
I think one of the scariest things for me is the fact that I thought nothing of it. I hadn't freaked out. No scene was made to express what should have been one of the more disturbing instances of my childhood.
I could chalk up the mistaking breakfast for something else as me just misremembering events.. But something unmistakable is the fact that somehow my mom both never drove me to school, yet the fact that she.. always had.
If you're confused, I understand. I am too, because the contradicting nature of my memory is something that haunts me to no end.
Things were easier as a child. That's often the case, but ever sense I stopped aging, I've begun to notice the oddities presented by life that are.. inexplainable. I'm not even sure where to start with researching my predicament. Hell, this is reddit! If I couldn't find an answer here, I doubt there is an answer to be found at all.
The Mandela Effect is something that I feel needs no introduction. To those who don't know, the Mandela Effect, in brief, is a phenomenon that incurs when you "misremember" something. Think of a card, now imagine you saw that card as a child and it had a single heart drawn on it's center. Now, years later you are discussing this card with someone else just for them to tell you that the heart you swear, the heart you KNOW you saw.. was a diamond. You tell them they are wrong, you shake your head, chuckle nervously.. But then they present you with the card.
Your stomach drops. This can't be the card, there is no way! Only it is the card, and when you come to the realization that it is in fact the card you'd seen as a child, you are filled with a mix of confusion, fascination, and quite possibly denial.
Most often, the Mandela Effect is associated with silly things like books titles, and board game mascots, but my experience is far beyond such things. It's the only phenomenon I've found that seems even within the realm of explaining my predicament. Problem is, the more I think, the more is wrong.
All of me wishes it all ended with that one childhood experience! But it didn't. In fact, the more I consider my childhood, the more contradictions I notice. Part of me believes I could handle this if it was limited to my childhood, but it's not. This.. experience... It effects my every day!
I'm not losing my mind, I'm just picking up crumbs that I never dropped. Not.. losing my mind, just finding more "mind" than the inventory should account for.
2024.05.14 09:04 panda_two 40 [M4F] #Berkshire UK - After someone who wants a connection, cuddles and adoration
I guess there's only so many times one can try this... Maybe this is the last time before the next time? :D
Caring, considerate and affectionate guy here. Looking for someone who is most of the time devil may care but can be super serious if need be. This is how I am. Super fun but not wreckless!
I'm open for it to be casual but would prefer something that at least has the potential to become more. As long as it is stated I'm happy for it to stay casual, so we both know what bus we are getting on.
IT guy by day and musician by night. Mostly guitar and sing but I play piano and drums also. So musical people definitely have an advantage but not vital.
I'm interesting and funny (I like to think so and have been complimented many times). My friends would describe me as caring, considerate and honest. I'm also in very good shape. No dad bods here, sorry to disappoint. People never believe my age when I tell them.
I'd like you to be on reasonable shape or at least working towards it. Sorry it's just my preference. Have interesting enough conversation in you. I'm very good at leading it but I can't be attracted to just a pretty shell.
I'm not much for online dating, the idea of people posting almost pseudo photos of themselves to raise the statistics are laughable. But no risk no reward.
Let's see how many actually get in touch. Real people that is. If you take a chance to chat and get to know me I promise you won't be disappointed. Just friends is totally ok too, we can just see how it goes. I'm a good guy :D
Open to anyone 18+ as long as you don't mind my age. I always get mistaken to be in my early 20s.
If you are someone who wants to be adored, admired and worshipped please get in touch.
Location can be trivial, more than willing to chat to people in other countries. Let me know what your favourite Pixar movie is and why. Maybe also include what your warning label would be if you had one?
P.S. Please do not respond if you don't have the EQ or courtesy to be honest. No ghosting also. Please respect this fully.
submitted by panda_two to r4r [link] [comments]
Caring, considerate and affectionate guy here. Looking for someone who is most of the time devil may care but can be super serious if need be. This is how I am. Super fun but not wreckless!
I'm open for it to be casual but would prefer something that at least has the potential to become more. As long as it is stated I'm happy for it to stay casual, so we both know what bus we are getting on.
IT guy by day and musician by night. Mostly guitar and sing but I play piano and drums also. So musical people definitely have an advantage but not vital.
I'm interesting and funny (I like to think so and have been complimented many times). My friends would describe me as caring, considerate and honest. I'm also in very good shape. No dad bods here, sorry to disappoint. People never believe my age when I tell them.
I'd like you to be on reasonable shape or at least working towards it. Sorry it's just my preference. Have interesting enough conversation in you. I'm very good at leading it but I can't be attracted to just a pretty shell.
I'm not much for online dating, the idea of people posting almost pseudo photos of themselves to raise the statistics are laughable. But no risk no reward.
Let's see how many actually get in touch. Real people that is. If you take a chance to chat and get to know me I promise you won't be disappointed. Just friends is totally ok too, we can just see how it goes. I'm a good guy :D
Open to anyone 18+ as long as you don't mind my age. I always get mistaken to be in my early 20s.
If you are someone who wants to be adored, admired and worshipped please get in touch.
Location can be trivial, more than willing to chat to people in other countries. Let me know what your favourite Pixar movie is and why. Maybe also include what your warning label would be if you had one?
P.S. Please do not respond if you don't have the EQ or courtesy to be honest. No ghosting also. Please respect this fully.
2024.05.14 09:04 panda_two 40 [M4F] #Berkshire UK - After someone who wants a connection, cuddles and adoration
I guess there's only so many times one can try this... Maybe this is the last time before the next time? :D
Caring, considerate and affectionate guy here. Looking for someone who is most of the time devil may care but can be super serious if need be. This is how I am. Super fun but not wreckless!
I'm open for it to be casual but would prefer something that at least has the potential to become more. As long as it is stated I'm happy for it to stay casual, so we both know what bus we are getting on.
IT guy by day and musician by night. Mostly guitar and sing but I play piano and drums also. So musical people definitely have an advantage but not vital.
I'm interesting and funny (I like to think so and have been complimented many times). My friends would describe me as caring, considerate and honest. I'm also in very good shape. No dad bods here, sorry to disappoint. People never believe my age when I tell them.
I'd like you to be on reasonable shape or at least working towards it. Sorry it's just my preference. Have interesting enough conversation in you. I'm very good at leading it but I can't be attracted to just a pretty shell.
I'm not much for online dating, the idea of people posting almost pseudo photos of themselves to raise the statistics are laughable. But no risk no reward.
Let's see how many actually get in touch. Real people that is. If you take a chance to chat and get to know me I promise you won't be disappointed. Just friends is totally ok too, we can just see how it goes. I'm a good guy :D
Open to anyone 18+ as long as you don't mind my age. I always get mistaken to be in my early 20s.
If you are someone who wants to be adored, admired and worshipped please get in touch.
Location can be trivial, more than willing to chat to people in other countries. Let me know what your favourite Pixar movie is and why. Maybe also include what your warning label would be if you had one?
P.S. Please do not respond if you don't have the EQ or courtesy to be honest. No ghosting also. Please respect this fully.
submitted by panda_two to ForeverAloneDating [link] [comments]
Caring, considerate and affectionate guy here. Looking for someone who is most of the time devil may care but can be super serious if need be. This is how I am. Super fun but not wreckless!
I'm open for it to be casual but would prefer something that at least has the potential to become more. As long as it is stated I'm happy for it to stay casual, so we both know what bus we are getting on.
IT guy by day and musician by night. Mostly guitar and sing but I play piano and drums also. So musical people definitely have an advantage but not vital.
I'm interesting and funny (I like to think so and have been complimented many times). My friends would describe me as caring, considerate and honest. I'm also in very good shape. No dad bods here, sorry to disappoint. People never believe my age when I tell them.
I'd like you to be on reasonable shape or at least working towards it. Sorry it's just my preference. Have interesting enough conversation in you. I'm very good at leading it but I can't be attracted to just a pretty shell.
I'm not much for online dating, the idea of people posting almost pseudo photos of themselves to raise the statistics are laughable. But no risk no reward.
Let's see how many actually get in touch. Real people that is. If you take a chance to chat and get to know me I promise you won't be disappointed. Just friends is totally ok too, we can just see how it goes. I'm a good guy :D
Open to anyone 18+ as long as you don't mind my age. I always get mistaken to be in my early 20s.
If you are someone who wants to be adored, admired and worshipped please get in touch.
Location can be trivial, more than willing to chat to people in other countries. Let me know what your favourite Pixar movie is and why. Maybe also include what your warning label would be if you had one?
P.S. Please do not respond if you don't have the EQ or courtesy to be honest. No ghosting also. Please respect this fully.
2024.05.14 09:00 panda_two 40 [M4F] #Berkshire UK - After someone who wants a connection, cuddles and adoration
I guess there's only so many times one can try this... Maybe this is the last time before the next time? :D
Caring, considerate and affectionate guy here. Looking for someone who is most of the time devil may care but can be super serious if need be. This is how I am. Super fun but not wreckless!
I'm open for it to be casual but would prefer something that at least has the potential to become more. As long as it is stated I'm happy for it to stay casual, so we both know what bus we are getting on.
IT guy by day and musician by night. Mostly guitar and sing but I play piano and drums also. So musical people definitely have an advantage but not vital.
I'm interesting and funny (I like to think so and have been complimented many times). My friends would describe me as caring, considerate and honest. I'm also in very good shape. No dad bods here, sorry to disappoint. People never believe my age when I tell them.
I'd like you to be on reasonable shape or at least working towards it. Sorry it's just my preference. Have interesting enough conversation in you. I'm very good at leading it but I can't be attracted to just a pretty shell.
I'm not much for online dating, the idea of people posting almost pseudo photos of themselves to raise the statistics are laughable. But no risk no reward.
Let's see how many actually get in touch. Real people that is. If you take a chance to chat and get to know me I promise you won't be disappointed. Just friends is totally ok too, we can just see how it goes. I'm a good guy :D
Open to anyone 18+ as long as you don't mind my age. I always get mistaken to be in my early 20s.
If you are someone who wants to be adored, admired and worshipped please get in touch.
Location can be trivial, more than willing to chat to people in other countries. Let me know what your favourite Pixar movie is and why. Maybe also include what your warning label would be if you had one?
P.S. Please do not respond if you don't have the EQ or courtesy to be honest. No ghosting also. Please respect this fully.
submitted by panda_two to R4R30Plus [link] [comments]
Caring, considerate and affectionate guy here. Looking for someone who is most of the time devil may care but can be super serious if need be. This is how I am. Super fun but not wreckless!
I'm open for it to be casual but would prefer something that at least has the potential to become more. As long as it is stated I'm happy for it to stay casual, so we both know what bus we are getting on.
IT guy by day and musician by night. Mostly guitar and sing but I play piano and drums also. So musical people definitely have an advantage but not vital.
I'm interesting and funny (I like to think so and have been complimented many times). My friends would describe me as caring, considerate and honest. I'm also in very good shape. No dad bods here, sorry to disappoint. People never believe my age when I tell them.
I'd like you to be on reasonable shape or at least working towards it. Sorry it's just my preference. Have interesting enough conversation in you. I'm very good at leading it but I can't be attracted to just a pretty shell.
I'm not much for online dating, the idea of people posting almost pseudo photos of themselves to raise the statistics are laughable. But no risk no reward.
Let's see how many actually get in touch. Real people that is. If you take a chance to chat and get to know me I promise you won't be disappointed. Just friends is totally ok too, we can just see how it goes. I'm a good guy :D
Open to anyone 18+ as long as you don't mind my age. I always get mistaken to be in my early 20s.
If you are someone who wants to be adored, admired and worshipped please get in touch.
Location can be trivial, more than willing to chat to people in other countries. Let me know what your favourite Pixar movie is and why. Maybe also include what your warning label would be if you had one?
P.S. Please do not respond if you don't have the EQ or courtesy to be honest. No ghosting also. Please respect this fully.
2024.05.14 00:16 New-Wrap-9073 For those who are hopeless, broken and desperate, like I was.
After recently going through a horrible heartbreak that is still taking every ounce of my energy. I decided to put my pain aside and try to help others, because this has been hell for me, and I know how hard I tried searching for free or even cheap relationship help, but couldn't get/find it. So I posted on my personal social media for people to write me and I'd help them and give them personal advice on their specific situation. Much to my surprise, this blew up and what was supposed to be something that helped me connect with others suffering and help ease someone's unbearable pain, turned into somewhat of a "calling" I guess you could say. Focusing on helping other people to avoid and manage that horrific pain has helped start to heal and I've surprisingly done a lot to help a LOT more people than I ever thought I would. I'm not a therapist, licensed or anything at all. I've just seen, done, and been through a hell of a lot. I've talked to about 28 people in the past 3 weeks. And it all started because I helped 1 person on a whim. I'm an intense empath, so I guess I have a "talent" (I guess you'd say?) for really feeling what other people are feeling and why they may be feeling this way. DM me if you'd like some help. :) since my social media one went so well and I'm wanting to try and do this for a side hustle (or maybe main hustle-I've enjoyed it so much!!) I am doing them for $10. (Cashapp, Venmo & PayPal but will not ask for payment until my response is written out and ready to be sent)I will read over your situation, ask questions, really try and understand everything, and then tell you everything I think and feel about your situation. I'll also try and look at it from your partner's point of view, help you figure out their attachment style, love language, and the best course of action for that would suit you and them. I do ask that you give me 24-48hrs though. I actually care and am doing this because I genuinely want to help people. Giving me that time gives me time to read, analyze, etc. But I know how bad it hurts, and you are not alone! I wish someone had done this months ago when I was first hurt and needed help. :/
I've also been through several tragedies, ridden the struggle bus to every miserable destination I can think of. I've been through some things. All kinds of things. So, if something's on your mind and it's not relationship-related, hit me up! Judgement free zone. Nothing off limits. I just wanna help. I've had my fair share of depression, anxiety, helplessness, despair, etc.
I started an IG page, and it's finally finished! Search "hopelesstohealing" on IG, if you'd rather talk on there. But I'm here for anyone who needs it. On here, or on IG. ❤️🩹
submitted by New-Wrap-9073 to heartbreak [link] [comments]
I've also been through several tragedies, ridden the struggle bus to every miserable destination I can think of. I've been through some things. All kinds of things. So, if something's on your mind and it's not relationship-related, hit me up! Judgement free zone. Nothing off limits. I just wanna help. I've had my fair share of depression, anxiety, helplessness, despair, etc.
I started an IG page, and it's finally finished! Search "hopelesstohealing" on IG, if you'd rather talk on there. But I'm here for anyone who needs it. On here, or on IG. ❤️🩹
2024.05.14 00:14 New-Wrap-9073 Read this if you're broken, lost and don't know what to do anymore. ❤️
After recently going through a horrible heartbreak that is still taking every ounce of my energy. I decided to put my pain aside and try to help others, because this has been hell for me, and I know how hard I tried searching for free or even cheap relationship help, but couldn't get/find it. So I posted on my personal social media for people to write me and I'd help them and give them personal advice on their specific situation. Much to my surprise, this blew up and what was supposed to be something that helped me connect with others suffering and help ease someone's unbearable pain, turned into somewhat of a "calling" I guess you could say. Focusing on helping other people to avoid and manage that horrific pain has helped start to heal and I've surprisingly done a lot to help a LOT more people than I ever thought I would. I'm not a therapist, licensed or anything at all. I've just seen, done, and been through a hell of a lot. I've talked to about 28 people in the past 3 weeks. And it all started because I helped 1 person on a whim. I'm an intense empath, so I guess I have a "talent" (I guess you'd say?) for really feeling what other people are feeling and why they may be feeling this way. DM me if you'd like some help. :) since my social media one went so well and I'm wanting to try and do this for a side hustle (or maybe main hustle-I've enjoyed it so much!!) I am doing them for $10. (Cashapp, Venmo & PayPal but will not ask for payment until my response is written out and ready to be sent)I will read over your situation, ask questions, really try and understand everything, and then tell you everything I think and feel about your situation. I'll also try and look at it from your partner's point of view, help you figure out their attachment style, love language, and the best course of action for that would suit you and them. I do ask that you give me 24-48hrs though. I actually care and am doing this because I genuinely want to help people. Giving me that time gives me time to read, analyze, etc. But I know how bad it hurts, and you are not alone! I wish someone had done this months ago when I was first hurt and needed help. :/
I've also been through several tragedies, ridden the struggle bus to every miserable destination I can think of. I've been through some things. All kinds of things. So, if something's on your mind and it's not relationship-related, hit me up! Judgement free zone. Nothing off limits. I just wanna help. I've had my fair share of depression, anxiety, helplessness, despair, etc.
I started an IG page, and it's finally finished! Search "hopelesstohealing" on IG, if you'd rather talk on there. But I'm here for anyone who needs it. On here, or on IG. ❤️🩹
submitted by New-Wrap-9073 to BreakUps [link] [comments]
I've also been through several tragedies, ridden the struggle bus to every miserable destination I can think of. I've been through some things. All kinds of things. So, if something's on your mind and it's not relationship-related, hit me up! Judgement free zone. Nothing off limits. I just wanna help. I've had my fair share of depression, anxiety, helplessness, despair, etc.
I started an IG page, and it's finally finished! Search "hopelesstohealing" on IG, if you'd rather talk on there. But I'm here for anyone who needs it. On here, or on IG. ❤️🩹
2024.05.13 22:55 maverna_c 1500/month studio in Japantown, flexible move-in dates
Hey all! Looking for someone to do sort of a lease takeover of my studio apartment in Japantown starting anytime from mid-June at the earliest (dates very flexible). I'm trying to move back to my home state due to a job loss and don't know exactly when I'd be back. I unfortunately can't sublease, and you'd need to sign a new 1 year lease to replace my current lease.
Unit details: - $1500/month studio in large apartment complex with private bathroom and full kitchen, ~250 sq ft. Price includes all utilities except Internet and electricity. - Convenient location between Japantown and Van Ness St. Easy access to bus lines 49, 38/38R and 2 - Street Parking with RPP, or monthly Japantown garage parking nearby - Coin-operated laundry in building - Single occupant, no pets :(
Please dm me if interested and for more details, including pictures/video, address, application and leasing office information etc. Also, please let me know what date(s) you'd be interested in moving in. Thank you very much! :)
submitted by maverna_c to SFBayHousing [link] [comments]
Unit details: - $1500/month studio in large apartment complex with private bathroom and full kitchen, ~250 sq ft. Price includes all utilities except Internet and electricity. - Convenient location between Japantown and Van Ness St. Easy access to bus lines 49, 38/38R and 2 - Street Parking with RPP, or monthly Japantown garage parking nearby - Coin-operated laundry in building - Single occupant, no pets :(
Please dm me if interested and for more details, including pictures/video, address, application and leasing office information etc. Also, please let me know what date(s) you'd be interested in moving in. Thank you very much! :)
2024.05.13 22:18 markv9401 Frigate inside LXC on Proxmox [Google Coral USB, iGPU passthrough]
For anyone wondering or battling the same issues as I had been for long hours.. This works. Don't ask, don't bother, just do and enjoy..
Look for the Google Coral USB to find its bus:
.conf) by adding the following (this adds a renderer too, neglect renderD128 if you don't have or want it):
/etc/udev/rules.d/71-coral.rules
The one cgroup that was missing for me and was not to be found pretty much anywhere, save for a years old Proxmox post, was group 180 (instead of the 189 that's being talked about everywhere).
Disclaimer: all this is unnecessary and works much quicker and easier for a privileged LXC cont., but you really shouldn't be riding privileged containers, like ever
submitted by markv9401 to frigate_nvr [link] [comments]
Look for the Google Coral USB to find its bus:
lsusbIt'll be either called "Global Unichip Corp" or "Google" something. Take not of bus nr., for example Bus 002 in this case:
... Bus 002 Device 018: ID 1a6e:089a Global Unichip Corp ...Edit the given container's LXC conf (/etc/pve/lxc/
lxc.cgroup2.devices.allow: c 226:0 rwm lxc.cgroup2.devices.allow: c 226:128 rwm lxc.cgroup2.devices.allow: c 29:0 rwm lxc.cgroup2.devices.allow: c 189:* rwm lxc.cgroup2.devices.allow: c 180:* rwm lxc.apparmor.profile: unconfined lxc.cgroup2.devices.allow: a lxc.mount.entry: /dev/dri/renderD128 dev/dri/renderD128 none bind,optional,create=file 0, 0 lxc.mount.entry: /dev/dri dev/dri none bind,optional,create=dir lxc.cap.drop: lxc.mount.auto: cgroup:rw lxc.mount.entry: /dev/bus/usb/Create udev rules (on Proxmox host):dev/bus/usb/ none bind,optional,create=dir 0, 0
/etc/udev/rules.d/71-coral.rules
SUBSYSTEMS=="usb", ATTRS{idVendor}=="1a6e", ATTRS{idProduct}=="089a", MODE="0664", TAG+="uaccess", SYMLINK+="coral", MODE="0666" SUBSYSTEMS=="usb", ATTRS{idVendor}=="18d1", ATTRS{idProduct}=="9302", MODE="0664", TAG+="uaccess", SYMLINK+="coral", MODE="0666" /etc/udev/rules.d/99-igpuchmod.rulesKERNEL=="renderD128", MODE="0666"Apply changes without the need for a reboot:
udevadm control --reload-rules && udevadm triggerStop the container, if you didn't so far, and start it. It should have working iGPU and EdgeTPU pass through/share.
The one cgroup that was missing for me and was not to be found pretty much anywhere, save for a years old Proxmox post, was group 180 (instead of the 189 that's being talked about everywhere).
Disclaimer: all this is unnecessary and works much quicker and easier for a privileged LXC cont., but you really shouldn't be riding privileged containers, like ever
2024.05.13 22:18 markv9401 Frigate inside LXC on Proxmox [Google Coral USB, iGPU passthrough]
For anyone wondering or battling the same issues as I had been for long hours.. This works. Don't ask, don't bother, just do and enjoy..
Look for the Google Coral USB to find its bus:
.conf) by adding the following (this adds a renderer too, neglect renderD128 if you don't have or want it):
/etc/udev/rules.d/71-coral.rules
The one cgroup that was missing for me and was not to be found pretty much anywhere, save for a years old Proxmox post, was group 180 (instead of the 189 that's being talked about everywhere).
Disclaimer: all this is unnecessary and works much quicker and easier for a privileged LXC cont., but you really shouldn't be riding privileged containers, like ever
submitted by markv9401 to frigate_nvr [link] [comments]
Look for the Google Coral USB to find its bus:
lsusbIt'll be either called "Global Unichip Corp" or "Google" something. Take not of bus nr., for example Bus 002 in this case:
... Bus 002 Device 018: ID 1a6e:089a Global Unichip Corp ...Edit the given container's LXC conf (/etc/pve/lxc/
lxc.cgroup2.devices.allow: c 226:0 rwm lxc.cgroup2.devices.allow: c 226:128 rwm lxc.cgroup2.devices.allow: c 29:0 rwm lxc.cgroup2.devices.allow: c 189:* rwm lxc.cgroup2.devices.allow: c 180:* rwm lxc.apparmor.profile: unconfined lxc.cgroup2.devices.allow: a lxc.mount.entry: /dev/dri/renderD128 dev/dri/renderD128 none bind,optional,create=file 0, 0 lxc.mount.entry: /dev/dri dev/dri none bind,optional,create=dir lxc.cap.drop: lxc.mount.auto: cgroup:rw lxc.mount.entry: /dev/bus/usb/Create udev rules (on Proxmox host):dev/bus/usb/ none bind,optional,create=dir 0, 0
/etc/udev/rules.d/71-coral.rules
SUBSYSTEMS=="usb", ATTRS{idVendor}=="1a6e", ATTRS{idProduct}=="089a", MODE="0664", TAG+="uaccess", SYMLINK+="coral", MODE="0666" SUBSYSTEMS=="usb", ATTRS{idVendor}=="18d1", ATTRS{idProduct}=="9302", MODE="0664", TAG+="uaccess", SYMLINK+="coral", MODE="0666" /etc/udev/rules.d/99-igpuchmod.rulesKERNEL=="renderD128", MODE="0666"Apply changes without the need for a reboot:
udevadm control --reload-rules && udevadm triggerStop the container, if you didn't so far, and start it. It should have working iGPU and EdgeTPU pass through/share.
The one cgroup that was missing for me and was not to be found pretty much anywhere, save for a years old Proxmox post, was group 180 (instead of the 189 that's being talked about everywhere).
Disclaimer: all this is unnecessary and works much quicker and easier for a privileged LXC cont., but you really shouldn't be riding privileged containers, like ever
2024.05.13 20:54 karlpolanyilevitt Should I use Planner or Lists or something else?
Hello,
I have a Team of 10 within a larger non-profit organization. We do advocacy work for our clients. I'm looking to use our O365 assets to create a system to track and assign work to the team, to manage workload and to better archive our work (which is now a mess on everyone's onedrives). We have our own department SharePoint site (which we don't use) and everyone is on boarded with their own OneDrive accounts.
Basically, I want to be able to see, from 10,000 ft, who is assigned to what so I can ensure that assignments are distributed fairly and to track timelines.
My staff basically has three types of work: 1) ongoing responsibilities with no end in site (i.e. committee work); 2) longer term assignments with end date (i.e. client files; a particular policy file) and 3) tickets/requests (i.e. shorter duration client enquiries).
I know this is a broad, but what would be the best O365 tool to manage this? I'm thinking either MS Planner or MS Lists. I'd like to be able to visualize the work on a department kanban-style list and filtesort it along the lines of assigned, status, client, etc. I've played with planner but it seems better suited for creating a plan per project vs using it to assign client work and tickets.
I know that I'm going to need some expertise to help with this, so I'm just asking for some general direction/advice. I'm trying to get a clearer picture of what I need/want before making a request else it won't get any traction from IT or management. I'd like something that integrates and centralizes the opening of a file to the closing of a file.
My org has an IT department but they will barely touch it o365 and our IT organization and expertise is a mess. I also need something that is simple enough for my support person to use but robust enough that it can be passed on if I get hit by a bus.
Any input/advice is appreciated. Sorry for the long post! As you can see I'm a bit lost but trying to get everything under control around here!
submitted by karlpolanyilevitt to Office365 [link] [comments]
I have a Team of 10 within a larger non-profit organization. We do advocacy work for our clients. I'm looking to use our O365 assets to create a system to track and assign work to the team, to manage workload and to better archive our work (which is now a mess on everyone's onedrives). We have our own department SharePoint site (which we don't use) and everyone is on boarded with their own OneDrive accounts.
Basically, I want to be able to see, from 10,000 ft, who is assigned to what so I can ensure that assignments are distributed fairly and to track timelines.
My staff basically has three types of work: 1) ongoing responsibilities with no end in site (i.e. committee work); 2) longer term assignments with end date (i.e. client files; a particular policy file) and 3) tickets/requests (i.e. shorter duration client enquiries).
I know this is a broad, but what would be the best O365 tool to manage this? I'm thinking either MS Planner or MS Lists. I'd like to be able to visualize the work on a department kanban-style list and filtesort it along the lines of assigned, status, client, etc. I've played with planner but it seems better suited for creating a plan per project vs using it to assign client work and tickets.
I know that I'm going to need some expertise to help with this, so I'm just asking for some general direction/advice. I'm trying to get a clearer picture of what I need/want before making a request else it won't get any traction from IT or management. I'd like something that integrates and centralizes the opening of a file to the closing of a file.
My org has an IT department but they will barely touch it o365 and our IT organization and expertise is a mess. I also need something that is simple enough for my support person to use but robust enough that it can be passed on if I get hit by a bus.
Any input/advice is appreciated. Sorry for the long post! As you can see I'm a bit lost but trying to get everything under control around here!
2024.05.13 19:31 eldritchterror Advice and Tips for Urban Camping and Backpacking through Japan?
I do not have an immediate plan, trip date, or timeline at the moment, this is purely all hypothetical for something I would like to be able to do in the future at some point.
With that in mind, like the title says, I would like to backpack Japan from top to bottom, hiking across it and seeing and doing as much as I possibly could. I specify backpack because I'd like to be able to be semi-free of any timeline restrictions such as committing myself to pre-scheduled/reserved hotels, hostels, train/bus tickets, etc that aren't taken care of in the moment. I recently learned about the idea of 'urban camping' and have been doing some research into it regarding its legality in Japan - from what I've seen it's legal in posted/approved areas, and follows the standard deal of 'be considerate to your surroundings and always clean up your messes' and such, although is relatively looked down on by most Japanese citizens (but maybe foreigners given a little more leeway regarding that?? Unsure, didn't see too much about this.) It's an experience I would like to have. I've been studying Japanese for a little while now (only about a month since I decided this is something I'd like to be able to do) and don't plan on actually doing this trip until I can comfortably converse basic needs and such so that I'm not a burden on the people around me.
BUT to get to the main point - I'd like to hear more experienced travelers general advice for an endeavour like this. I know there's plenty of places I can use in bigger cities to do laundry, get food, bathe, etc, however I'd like to know what y'all would suggest to pack/bring for this kind of trip. I know seasons/weather stuff isn't always the easiest to predict, but I'd just like general advice for things more experienced travelers would be thinking about and looking out for - I'm posting this here on this sub, because it's a little more in line with what I'm trying to go for rather than a glamping backpack trip and the like. I may or may not overstay the visa for this kind of trip, it all depends on how things go, but if I'm being honest I'm at a point in life where if I get caught with an overstayed visa then so be it, it's whatever. I just want to enjoy the experience of seeing something in a country that is so vastly different than my own.
The last thing I want to do is be another annoying tourist that everyone looks down on for being inattentive and rude to their surroundings. If anyone has more knowledge about the legality and such of urban camping in Japan as well, I'd really appreciate it. I just want to basically be as little of problem as possible for the people around me and not cause issues.
submitted by eldritchterror to vagabond [link] [comments]
With that in mind, like the title says, I would like to backpack Japan from top to bottom, hiking across it and seeing and doing as much as I possibly could. I specify backpack because I'd like to be able to be semi-free of any timeline restrictions such as committing myself to pre-scheduled/reserved hotels, hostels, train/bus tickets, etc that aren't taken care of in the moment. I recently learned about the idea of 'urban camping' and have been doing some research into it regarding its legality in Japan - from what I've seen it's legal in posted/approved areas, and follows the standard deal of 'be considerate to your surroundings and always clean up your messes' and such, although is relatively looked down on by most Japanese citizens (but maybe foreigners given a little more leeway regarding that?? Unsure, didn't see too much about this.) It's an experience I would like to have. I've been studying Japanese for a little while now (only about a month since I decided this is something I'd like to be able to do) and don't plan on actually doing this trip until I can comfortably converse basic needs and such so that I'm not a burden on the people around me.
BUT to get to the main point - I'd like to hear more experienced travelers general advice for an endeavour like this. I know there's plenty of places I can use in bigger cities to do laundry, get food, bathe, etc, however I'd like to know what y'all would suggest to pack/bring for this kind of trip. I know seasons/weather stuff isn't always the easiest to predict, but I'd just like general advice for things more experienced travelers would be thinking about and looking out for - I'm posting this here on this sub, because it's a little more in line with what I'm trying to go for rather than a glamping backpack trip and the like. I may or may not overstay the visa for this kind of trip, it all depends on how things go, but if I'm being honest I'm at a point in life where if I get caught with an overstayed visa then so be it, it's whatever. I just want to enjoy the experience of seeing something in a country that is so vastly different than my own.
The last thing I want to do is be another annoying tourist that everyone looks down on for being inattentive and rude to their surroundings. If anyone has more knowledge about the legality and such of urban camping in Japan as well, I'd really appreciate it. I just want to basically be as little of problem as possible for the people around me and not cause issues.
2024.05.13 19:04 Bo_Universe My coworker won't stop asking for money, and hasn't paid me back what he already owes.
A week ago, my (19NB) coworker (34M) told us that he recently got kicked out of his apartment by his girlfriend, and has nowhere to wash his clothes and nothing to eat. He painted a picture of absolute destitute, and to make it worse he told us that his aunt had charged him $200 to stay with her for TWO WEEKS. I was really heartbroken hearing this - at work, that coworker is a very hardworking, funny, and is just generally a good person to have there. So, I offered to let him do laundry at my house, since I have a washedryer in my basement and I know it can be a pain to carry laundry on a city bus. He was very grateful, and accepted.
The problems started after I left work that night. He was still there, but texted me and asked for $20 to get food because he was tired of eating what we make (we work at a fast food place, so it was understandable). I didn't have $20 to give him, but I offered $10 so he could go to the 7-11 down the street and get something from there. Then the next day, he asked me for money again because he wanted to get something from the dispensary because he ran out of his own weed. I gave him $10 again, because I had just gotten paid and had a little extra to spare, but I knew the next time he asked I'd have to say no. Well, he asked for money AGAIN, because he wanted food. I told him no, that I don't have it (because I really didn't) and he seemed disappointed but accepted my answer.
When I picked him up to do laundry, it was more of the same. He asked for snacks from the gas station, more money for the dispensary, more money for food, and it really felt like I was hosting a toddler at my house who didn't understand the word *"no"*. I offered to cook him dinner (just frozen cheese ravioli) but he declined because I'm vegetarian and wouldn't put meat into the sauce, and he "needs meat" with his meals. Eventually I caved and got him a $2 bag of chips from the gas station, but that was it because I seriously had no money for anything else but just wanted him to stop asking for food.
During that whole week he said he'd pay me back, that he owed me, etc. And even though I really was just trying to help someone in need, I'm worried that work is going to be awkward now because he "owes" me money. I honestly don't even care if he pays me back, I just wish he hadn't lied about doing so. I also don't know how to get it through his skull that I am just as (if not MORE) broke than he is, and he needs to stop asking me for money. Does anyone know how to navigate this situation going forward?
submitted by Bo_Universe to Advice [link] [comments]
The problems started after I left work that night. He was still there, but texted me and asked for $20 to get food because he was tired of eating what we make (we work at a fast food place, so it was understandable). I didn't have $20 to give him, but I offered $10 so he could go to the 7-11 down the street and get something from there. Then the next day, he asked me for money again because he wanted to get something from the dispensary because he ran out of his own weed. I gave him $10 again, because I had just gotten paid and had a little extra to spare, but I knew the next time he asked I'd have to say no. Well, he asked for money AGAIN, because he wanted food. I told him no, that I don't have it (because I really didn't) and he seemed disappointed but accepted my answer.
When I picked him up to do laundry, it was more of the same. He asked for snacks from the gas station, more money for the dispensary, more money for food, and it really felt like I was hosting a toddler at my house who didn't understand the word *"no"*. I offered to cook him dinner (just frozen cheese ravioli) but he declined because I'm vegetarian and wouldn't put meat into the sauce, and he "needs meat" with his meals. Eventually I caved and got him a $2 bag of chips from the gas station, but that was it because I seriously had no money for anything else but just wanted him to stop asking for food.
During that whole week he said he'd pay me back, that he owed me, etc. And even though I really was just trying to help someone in need, I'm worried that work is going to be awkward now because he "owes" me money. I honestly don't even care if he pays me back, I just wish he hadn't lied about doing so. I also don't know how to get it through his skull that I am just as (if not MORE) broke than he is, and he needs to stop asking me for money. Does anyone know how to navigate this situation going forward?
2024.05.13 17:30 Misharomanova My anxious attachment is getting so bad I don't know what to do anymore. 18F 20M. WhY should I do with that?
TL;TR: I want to be able to give my partner space when he needs it, especially when we're not in a conflict. I don't know how, because it's too much for me. What should I do?
Hello, 18F is here. I've been dating my SO 20M for almost a year now. We're college students; we see each other two to three times a week, times a week, sometimes four times a week, and whenever it cancels, I experience the worst pains ever. I'm not talking about my eyes hurting because I was crying so much; I'm talking about my body feeling like a bus drew over me, me shaking like a leaf, not being able to breathe properly sometimes, etc. Now, here's the thing: My SO has less social battery than myself (then just don't date him, people tell me, but it gets trickier), although it was not a problem until our first huge fight. After our first huge fight (three months into our relationship), he asked me for three days of no contact. I, a person who grew up with parents who never fought in front of myself and who had just gotten themselves into their second serious relationship, whose first relationship ended because the person, in fact, was not giving me any space, froze. For three days, I was crying 24/7, skipped classes, was throwing up after every meal, and didn't sleep an hour the first two days into it. When I tried to hang out with my friends, I ended up checking my phone every two minutes like a lunatic to see if he "came to his senses" and texted me. After that, we talked, and I told him about how I felt, what's been happening to me, and that I do not, in any case, want to go through this ever again. That repeated itself two more times, with the final time being not talking for over a week. When I say I got crazy, I mean it. Tears every day, food approximately never, and my mom giving me some medication (specifically, Atarax) so I'd sleep at least for some time. And then, there were flowers; there was communication; we talked everything through. And it stopped. It stopped; it actually hasn't repeated since. We realized how to deal with fights without him avoiding me, and it's been going perfect. Until a couple of days ago, he asked me how this thingy where I can't physically go without him is going. Because our last month was great (they were not perfect, we were still fighting sometimes, but that, oh yeah, don't text me for three days never happened), I thought I was ok. I especially thought that because all these times the calls, hangouts, and sleepovers were getting canceled over a conflict, not even a closed one. We are fine now. What's going to happen to me, I thought? We had a long Easter break, and he stayed over at my place for three days. We ended up seeing each other seven days in a row—something that's never happened before—and he confessed that he wanted to move our yet another hangout to two days. Not even cancel forever, not even not to have, just move. Can he do something he couldn't do because he was with me 24/7? Sounds okay, right? I mean, the two of us still have to study; he has his hobbies and his friends; for god's sake, he couldn't see his parents for a longer time, and he at least needed to see them and say hi. With all that, I said, Yeah, sure, babe, I'll be fine. And boy, was I wrong... I woke up today, the day we were supposed to see each other, but moved our hangout to tomorrow, in tears and shaking. All because he wasn't going to see me today and because he wasn't going to be as active in texting and calls because he had things to do. I felt (and I'm feeling right now) like during the last fight. I cannot stop crying; my body refuses to eat or drink, and I want him to be here. I know we're not in a conflict; nothing is bad. As a matter of fact, he sent me some cute videos with cats because he knows I like them, and he's asking what I want to do tomorrow, but my body's giving up on me, and my brain screams, "He could've been here if you didn't say it's ok!". It is the first time I'm going through this when we're not in a fight, when literally nothing happened, where I was asked and I gave my consent. He even said it was ok not to do it, but I wanted to see how this goes, and it's going terrible. I tried CBT, tried to write down my thoughts and feelings, tried to go for a walk, tried to call friends—it's all giving me nothing. I even tried breathing exercises and a meditation video that's supposed to help with panic attacks, and yet. I just feel so broken, and I have no idea what to do. I want to be able to give my partner space when he needs it, especially when we're not in a conflict. I don't know how, because it's too much for me. What should I do?
submitted by Misharomanova to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
Hello, 18F is here. I've been dating my SO 20M for almost a year now. We're college students; we see each other two to three times a week, times a week, sometimes four times a week, and whenever it cancels, I experience the worst pains ever. I'm not talking about my eyes hurting because I was crying so much; I'm talking about my body feeling like a bus drew over me, me shaking like a leaf, not being able to breathe properly sometimes, etc. Now, here's the thing: My SO has less social battery than myself (then just don't date him, people tell me, but it gets trickier), although it was not a problem until our first huge fight. After our first huge fight (three months into our relationship), he asked me for three days of no contact. I, a person who grew up with parents who never fought in front of myself and who had just gotten themselves into their second serious relationship, whose first relationship ended because the person, in fact, was not giving me any space, froze. For three days, I was crying 24/7, skipped classes, was throwing up after every meal, and didn't sleep an hour the first two days into it. When I tried to hang out with my friends, I ended up checking my phone every two minutes like a lunatic to see if he "came to his senses" and texted me. After that, we talked, and I told him about how I felt, what's been happening to me, and that I do not, in any case, want to go through this ever again. That repeated itself two more times, with the final time being not talking for over a week. When I say I got crazy, I mean it. Tears every day, food approximately never, and my mom giving me some medication (specifically, Atarax) so I'd sleep at least for some time. And then, there were flowers; there was communication; we talked everything through. And it stopped. It stopped; it actually hasn't repeated since. We realized how to deal with fights without him avoiding me, and it's been going perfect. Until a couple of days ago, he asked me how this thingy where I can't physically go without him is going. Because our last month was great (they were not perfect, we were still fighting sometimes, but that, oh yeah, don't text me for three days never happened), I thought I was ok. I especially thought that because all these times the calls, hangouts, and sleepovers were getting canceled over a conflict, not even a closed one. We are fine now. What's going to happen to me, I thought? We had a long Easter break, and he stayed over at my place for three days. We ended up seeing each other seven days in a row—something that's never happened before—and he confessed that he wanted to move our yet another hangout to two days. Not even cancel forever, not even not to have, just move. Can he do something he couldn't do because he was with me 24/7? Sounds okay, right? I mean, the two of us still have to study; he has his hobbies and his friends; for god's sake, he couldn't see his parents for a longer time, and he at least needed to see them and say hi. With all that, I said, Yeah, sure, babe, I'll be fine. And boy, was I wrong... I woke up today, the day we were supposed to see each other, but moved our hangout to tomorrow, in tears and shaking. All because he wasn't going to see me today and because he wasn't going to be as active in texting and calls because he had things to do. I felt (and I'm feeling right now) like during the last fight. I cannot stop crying; my body refuses to eat or drink, and I want him to be here. I know we're not in a conflict; nothing is bad. As a matter of fact, he sent me some cute videos with cats because he knows I like them, and he's asking what I want to do tomorrow, but my body's giving up on me, and my brain screams, "He could've been here if you didn't say it's ok!". It is the first time I'm going through this when we're not in a fight, when literally nothing happened, where I was asked and I gave my consent. He even said it was ok not to do it, but I wanted to see how this goes, and it's going terrible. I tried CBT, tried to write down my thoughts and feelings, tried to go for a walk, tried to call friends—it's all giving me nothing. I even tried breathing exercises and a meditation video that's supposed to help with panic attacks, and yet. I just feel so broken, and I have no idea what to do. I want to be able to give my partner space when he needs it, especially when we're not in a conflict. I don't know how, because it's too much for me. What should I do?
2024.05.13 16:58 One_Frame1256 Nasty MIL Has Terminal Lung Cancer
My mother-in-law currently lives with us. Two months ago, she went to A&E with a chest infection. Well, it turns out it's lung cancer that has spread to her brain.
She has a history of being pretty nasty to me for no other reason than I exist. Prior to meeting my husband, she lived in his house rent-free and basically acted like she owned it. I assume my meeting and marrying him messed up her retirement plan somewhat. The plan was to leave her in this house and move out - we'd recently put an offer on a home - and leave her in his house (which he's paid off) as it's cheaper than renting her a flat or putting her in a home.
The whole time I've known her, she's been possessive about my husband while simultaneously treating him terribly in comparison to her daughter. She and my sister-in-law would try to bully me and my husband and attempted to sabotage our wedding. This has continued now she's been diagnosed with terminal cancer. When we first found out, I agreed to put the move on hold because it would be a lot at the best of times. We've spent the last two months caring for her 24/7, ferrying her to appointments, being kept up at night, and working from home permanently so someone can be with her. We've also put our plans to start a family on hold because I don't want to be pregnant while caring for someone who is terminally ill.
My sister-in-law, on the other hand, turns up once or twice a week to eat her lunch, leave dishes in the sink, and leave. This is her 'contribution'. For context, after about six weeks of sheer exhaustion caring for HER MOTHER, we asked if she could please come and assist with mornings/evenings so we could have some respite. I explained to her the pressure we've been under, and part of this involved me explaining that my husband not only puts a roof over his mother's head but provides everything else. So, after this, his sister started coming over... randomly for half an hour whenever she could be bothered, to... you guessed it... sit on her arse in our home, eat, and leave. No assistance with his mother (despite her job being a part-time care worker), and no assistance with basic chores (even washing her own dishes never happens). Meanwhile, a family friend is an absolute godsend and helps with ironing and cleaning while we both work during the day.
As if that wasn't bad enough, I came home from a night away a week ago (my first rest in weeks) to my mother-in-law hurling a load of abuse at me. I went and spoke to my husband to ask what the heck was happening, and he was as confused as I was. She started explaining some really petty stuff that didn't make sense, in terms of how nasty she was being to me (again). I explained to her and my husband I wouldn't tolerate this and she needs to wind her head in; otherwise, I was leaving. My husband asked her again what was going on, and she finally admitted that when I'd explained to my sister-in-law how much my husband and I do for my mother-in-law, instead of helping us, she decided to go behind our back and tell my mother-in-law (out of context) that I said she would be homeless without us. Which she would, but anyway, that was out of context. Instead of just asking me, my mother-in-law decided to spew vile abuse at me. When we explained what had ACTUALLY gone on, including how my SIL had been slandering the godsend friend to everyone, my mother-in-law looked like a deer in headlights. She apologised profusely and begged me not to say anything to my sister-in-law. I agreed because I'm playing the long game.
The next day my mother-in-law sat me and my husband down and explained how when things happen in the house they should stay in the house, i.e. don't go telling anyone anything my sister-in-law said; she wants to protect her. I said that's fine; I won't tell anyone... but if she does it again, I will be having very strong words with her myself, and that my sister-in-law is manipulating her and I won't stand for it. My mother-in-law, who thinks she controls the situation, looked abashed but didn't say anything. Now I have my sister-in-law docking up whenever she feels like it, not helping, and attempting to make conversation with me. Both my husband and I are using the 'grey rock' technique, and she hates it. But can't say anything because we're not being actively rude to her.
The funniest part is everyone in his family despises her but doesn't say anything to protect his mother's feelings. It turns out she had been telling everyone incorrect information about my mother-in-law's diagnosis indicating she had weeks to live, and gatekeeping important medical information, so we've had to remove her as next of kin. We also found out she was going around the family trying to turn everyone against each other using my MILs medical information as a weaper. Not to mention we've found out she's been stealing from my mother-in-law's bank account while out 'running errands' for her. My husband and I have decided we can't rely on his sister, and that in fact, she's a liability, so we're talking about paying for respite (out of some benefits his mum is now entitled to).
While all this has been going on, I've had some medical issues I've been dealing with, and now my mother-in-law's prognosis has extended from months to 1 year+ I genuinely don't think I can cope with living here. I didn't agree to stay here indefinitely, and any decision was made when everyone was in shock. Only two months have passed, and I've never been so stressed in my life. I have brought this up, and my husband keeps kicking any decision down the road, but I don't think I can face another year of this. I don't mind helping or being here for my husband, but when the sister does absolutely nothing but try to throw me under the bus, and yet I'm the one who is in the firing line, who would seriously hang around for that?!
This feels horrible to admit, but I wish she'd pass away sooner. This woman has made my life a misery in the past and puts such a real emotional and financial strain on my husband, me, and our relationship. She admitted she doesn't know why she's so vile, but that doesn't help me. I know she's my husband's mother, but she's been pretty financially abusive to him too. I keep remembering her screaming at me once that the only way we'd get her out of my husband's house is 'in a coffin', and now I think... well, you called it, didn't you?
TLDR: Mother-in-law has lung cancer that spread to her brain. She's been nasty to me for no reason for years while living rent-free in my husband's house. We've been caring for her since her diagnosis, while sister-in-law contributes little. Sister-in-law caused family drama and stole from her. I'm overwhelmed and want to leave, but my husband is in decision paralysis. We're considering paid respite care. I wish she'd pass sooner.
submitted by One_Frame1256 to JUSTNOMIL [link] [comments]
She has a history of being pretty nasty to me for no other reason than I exist. Prior to meeting my husband, she lived in his house rent-free and basically acted like she owned it. I assume my meeting and marrying him messed up her retirement plan somewhat. The plan was to leave her in this house and move out - we'd recently put an offer on a home - and leave her in his house (which he's paid off) as it's cheaper than renting her a flat or putting her in a home.
The whole time I've known her, she's been possessive about my husband while simultaneously treating him terribly in comparison to her daughter. She and my sister-in-law would try to bully me and my husband and attempted to sabotage our wedding. This has continued now she's been diagnosed with terminal cancer. When we first found out, I agreed to put the move on hold because it would be a lot at the best of times. We've spent the last two months caring for her 24/7, ferrying her to appointments, being kept up at night, and working from home permanently so someone can be with her. We've also put our plans to start a family on hold because I don't want to be pregnant while caring for someone who is terminally ill.
My sister-in-law, on the other hand, turns up once or twice a week to eat her lunch, leave dishes in the sink, and leave. This is her 'contribution'. For context, after about six weeks of sheer exhaustion caring for HER MOTHER, we asked if she could please come and assist with mornings/evenings so we could have some respite. I explained to her the pressure we've been under, and part of this involved me explaining that my husband not only puts a roof over his mother's head but provides everything else. So, after this, his sister started coming over... randomly for half an hour whenever she could be bothered, to... you guessed it... sit on her arse in our home, eat, and leave. No assistance with his mother (despite her job being a part-time care worker), and no assistance with basic chores (even washing her own dishes never happens). Meanwhile, a family friend is an absolute godsend and helps with ironing and cleaning while we both work during the day.
As if that wasn't bad enough, I came home from a night away a week ago (my first rest in weeks) to my mother-in-law hurling a load of abuse at me. I went and spoke to my husband to ask what the heck was happening, and he was as confused as I was. She started explaining some really petty stuff that didn't make sense, in terms of how nasty she was being to me (again). I explained to her and my husband I wouldn't tolerate this and she needs to wind her head in; otherwise, I was leaving. My husband asked her again what was going on, and she finally admitted that when I'd explained to my sister-in-law how much my husband and I do for my mother-in-law, instead of helping us, she decided to go behind our back and tell my mother-in-law (out of context) that I said she would be homeless without us. Which she would, but anyway, that was out of context. Instead of just asking me, my mother-in-law decided to spew vile abuse at me. When we explained what had ACTUALLY gone on, including how my SIL had been slandering the godsend friend to everyone, my mother-in-law looked like a deer in headlights. She apologised profusely and begged me not to say anything to my sister-in-law. I agreed because I'm playing the long game.
The next day my mother-in-law sat me and my husband down and explained how when things happen in the house they should stay in the house, i.e. don't go telling anyone anything my sister-in-law said; she wants to protect her. I said that's fine; I won't tell anyone... but if she does it again, I will be having very strong words with her myself, and that my sister-in-law is manipulating her and I won't stand for it. My mother-in-law, who thinks she controls the situation, looked abashed but didn't say anything. Now I have my sister-in-law docking up whenever she feels like it, not helping, and attempting to make conversation with me. Both my husband and I are using the 'grey rock' technique, and she hates it. But can't say anything because we're not being actively rude to her.
The funniest part is everyone in his family despises her but doesn't say anything to protect his mother's feelings. It turns out she had been telling everyone incorrect information about my mother-in-law's diagnosis indicating she had weeks to live, and gatekeeping important medical information, so we've had to remove her as next of kin. We also found out she was going around the family trying to turn everyone against each other using my MILs medical information as a weaper. Not to mention we've found out she's been stealing from my mother-in-law's bank account while out 'running errands' for her. My husband and I have decided we can't rely on his sister, and that in fact, she's a liability, so we're talking about paying for respite (out of some benefits his mum is now entitled to).
While all this has been going on, I've had some medical issues I've been dealing with, and now my mother-in-law's prognosis has extended from months to 1 year+ I genuinely don't think I can cope with living here. I didn't agree to stay here indefinitely, and any decision was made when everyone was in shock. Only two months have passed, and I've never been so stressed in my life. I have brought this up, and my husband keeps kicking any decision down the road, but I don't think I can face another year of this. I don't mind helping or being here for my husband, but when the sister does absolutely nothing but try to throw me under the bus, and yet I'm the one who is in the firing line, who would seriously hang around for that?!
This feels horrible to admit, but I wish she'd pass away sooner. This woman has made my life a misery in the past and puts such a real emotional and financial strain on my husband, me, and our relationship. She admitted she doesn't know why she's so vile, but that doesn't help me. I know she's my husband's mother, but she's been pretty financially abusive to him too. I keep remembering her screaming at me once that the only way we'd get her out of my husband's house is 'in a coffin', and now I think... well, you called it, didn't you?
TLDR: Mother-in-law has lung cancer that spread to her brain. She's been nasty to me for no reason for years while living rent-free in my husband's house. We've been caring for her since her diagnosis, while sister-in-law contributes little. Sister-in-law caused family drama and stole from her. I'm overwhelmed and want to leave, but my husband is in decision paralysis. We're considering paid respite care. I wish she'd pass sooner.
2024.05.13 16:02 Frangipani_x Not a mindreader, not perfect, not a robot
I love everything about my job, apart from my manager. The difficulty is that everything they do is very subtle, but it has slowly chipped away at my self esteem. The only way I can put it into words is this:
I've had some great managers. Those that have your back and wouldn't throw you under the bus. They care about their team. They care about your development. You actually have fun working with them. They take responsibility when they need to. They trust you. Teamwork. Mutual respect.
My experience in this job has been the opposite... I have been thrown under the bus for issues my manager has caused. I've been treated like a friend, a child, a joy to work with, and a nuisance - the manager I get just depends who we're around at the time. I'm thrown into the deep end with no instructions and contradictory information and expected to work it out, where 95% of the time I manage it, the rest I make a mistake because even after asking for clarification, I don't get it. My manager is Indecisive and changes their mind so much, then they forget what they've agreed upon. And I accept that I can make mistakes - I'm a f*king human being.
She doesn't care about my development, only her own, and takes credit for my work. My manager has been promoted to Head of Dept. while I've been in the same position for 2 years. In our last 4 one-to-one development meetings, I've been told I'll be responsible for XYZ, but she continues to do it herself. She holds onto important projects and only delegates when she runs out of time, and asks me to complete by the end of the day.
The tasks that are my responsibility, are still heavily admin-based (even though we have 2 admins working in our team) but she will still take over from time-to-time (which isn't helpful when you're trying to manage a process) and even though I've done it for the last 2 years, she will still randomly check to see if I've done it. I then get anxious, although knowing it's been done, I have to stop what I'm doing and double-check, because she's put it into my head that I've not done it and I'm being pulled up on it.
When I've been asked to work on certain projects by other directors, my manager has made it her life mission to undermine my ability and take over. There was an incident where I was asked to do some work for a new project, and even though I'd asked her for permission, she agreed and then called me in a panic asking me if I was 'capable' of doing something I have specialised in for the last 4 years of my life, and said I wouldn't have time, even though there was (and yet, I have to also support a completely different department completely unrelated to my job). She interrogated me about it for 2 weeks and said she needed to be involved in every correspondence and meeting.
If I'm away from my desk and my status goes to 'away' after 5 minutes (which isn't very often) I've noticed she'll start typing a message to me. If I come back before she's sent it, she stops. She complains about everyone else and their quality of work, and dramatically tells me a subordinate has "gone missing" when their status changes to away, so I know it's highly likely she does the same about me. And it's hypocritial because she'll be away many times throughout the day.
I'm just at the point now where I'm so anxious and stressed whenever I get an email or a message, because I just think I've done something wrong or I'm going to be given something to do within a very short space of time and need to drop everything. Otherwise, I'm seen as not capable. Deep down, I consider myself somewhat accomplished and have worked hard to get to where I am now. I love everything about my job. But at the same time I feel held back, demotivated, just coasting. I'm scared to move on as I just think every company will be the same, the grass isn't always greener. My job has many perks which keeps me here. I get great feedback from other managers and clients. But due to this manager, I just want out :(
submitted by Frangipani_x to ManagedByNarcissists [link] [comments]
I've had some great managers. Those that have your back and wouldn't throw you under the bus. They care about their team. They care about your development. You actually have fun working with them. They take responsibility when they need to. They trust you. Teamwork. Mutual respect.
My experience in this job has been the opposite... I have been thrown under the bus for issues my manager has caused. I've been treated like a friend, a child, a joy to work with, and a nuisance - the manager I get just depends who we're around at the time. I'm thrown into the deep end with no instructions and contradictory information and expected to work it out, where 95% of the time I manage it, the rest I make a mistake because even after asking for clarification, I don't get it. My manager is Indecisive and changes their mind so much, then they forget what they've agreed upon. And I accept that I can make mistakes - I'm a f*king human being.
She doesn't care about my development, only her own, and takes credit for my work. My manager has been promoted to Head of Dept. while I've been in the same position for 2 years. In our last 4 one-to-one development meetings, I've been told I'll be responsible for XYZ, but she continues to do it herself. She holds onto important projects and only delegates when she runs out of time, and asks me to complete by the end of the day.
The tasks that are my responsibility, are still heavily admin-based (even though we have 2 admins working in our team) but she will still take over from time-to-time (which isn't helpful when you're trying to manage a process) and even though I've done it for the last 2 years, she will still randomly check to see if I've done it. I then get anxious, although knowing it's been done, I have to stop what I'm doing and double-check, because she's put it into my head that I've not done it and I'm being pulled up on it.
When I've been asked to work on certain projects by other directors, my manager has made it her life mission to undermine my ability and take over. There was an incident where I was asked to do some work for a new project, and even though I'd asked her for permission, she agreed and then called me in a panic asking me if I was 'capable' of doing something I have specialised in for the last 4 years of my life, and said I wouldn't have time, even though there was (and yet, I have to also support a completely different department completely unrelated to my job). She interrogated me about it for 2 weeks and said she needed to be involved in every correspondence and meeting.
If I'm away from my desk and my status goes to 'away' after 5 minutes (which isn't very often) I've noticed she'll start typing a message to me. If I come back before she's sent it, she stops. She complains about everyone else and their quality of work, and dramatically tells me a subordinate has "gone missing" when their status changes to away, so I know it's highly likely she does the same about me. And it's hypocritial because she'll be away many times throughout the day.
I'm just at the point now where I'm so anxious and stressed whenever I get an email or a message, because I just think I've done something wrong or I'm going to be given something to do within a very short space of time and need to drop everything. Otherwise, I'm seen as not capable. Deep down, I consider myself somewhat accomplished and have worked hard to get to where I am now. I love everything about my job. But at the same time I feel held back, demotivated, just coasting. I'm scared to move on as I just think every company will be the same, the grass isn't always greener. My job has many perks which keeps me here. I get great feedback from other managers and clients. But due to this manager, I just want out :(
2024.05.13 11:48 a_slice_ofbread How to escape the "Loop of Lateness"?
I'm struggling with an issue which I have called the "Loop of Lateness". I'm sure some of you can relate and I'd be thankful for any advice on how to deal with this.
Here's the issue: I have a certain time where I have to leave e.g. to catch the bus. I know the bus I want to take leaves every 15 minutes. I take too long getting ready (as always) and miss the first bus. I am now ready to leave but I don't want to wait for 15 minutes so I do something else. This task ends up taking too long or something unforeseen happens and I know that I don't need to leave for the second bus because there's no way I will make it in time. Repeat this for a random number of times. I know I could just leave immediately after missing the first bus, but it's difficult to actually do it and I hate waiting.
submitted by a_slice_ofbread to adhdwomen [link] [comments]
Here's the issue: I have a certain time where I have to leave e.g. to catch the bus. I know the bus I want to take leaves every 15 minutes. I take too long getting ready (as always) and miss the first bus. I am now ready to leave but I don't want to wait for 15 minutes so I do something else. This task ends up taking too long or something unforeseen happens and I know that I don't need to leave for the second bus because there's no way I will make it in time. Repeat this for a random number of times. I know I could just leave immediately after missing the first bus, but it's difficult to actually do it and I hate waiting.
2024.05.13 05:53 ardvark-sandwich My wedding planning, day, and honeymoon were chaotic
Sorry for the long post, theres a lot of context
Okay, so right off the bat I was 18 when I got married. My husband (19 at the time) and I knew each other our whole lives and dated through high school. We were long distance and saw each other in real life about 5 times, and we always video called and texted. We had gotten engaged beginning of my senior year. I was over the moon.
Until my parents found out our plan. They didn't know we had planned to be wed before my husband left for basic training for the military. They were against it, and we missed out on over $3000 because they didn't want me married at 17. I would still be finishing high school while my husband to be would be in training.
So I didn't worry about it. We had then planned for my husband and I to get married in May when he got back from all of his training. It was going to be a small affair since we didn't have much disposable income.
The plan was to get married the day after my older cousin got married because I didnt want to take away from her special day she's been planning for 3 years. (I know, cutting it close, but we couldn't get married any other day because my husband would have to be at his duty station the day after)
My cousin was furious with me over this, even though we weren't having a huge wedding. I understand she has a right to be upset, but she called me all sorts of names, and said that I was just a kid and that I'm not responsible enough to be married. She also mocked my idea to be a homemaker, and said I was setting back feminism because of this plan I had with my husband. She told me to not speak to her until I changed my date or canceled getting married. At the time I couldn't change that date.
So during my husband's training, he was pushed back about two weeks. This means we wouldn't be "ruining." my cousins wedding. I told her about the date change and extended the olive branch to say she and her family were still invited.
I didn't expect a big wedding, but my family stepped up and gave me a bridal shower, and a giant wedding. My village was incredible and I love them so much. Now the bridal shower was fantastic, the only thing I wouldve changed was that I got a more white dress to wear that day.
Now the week after my bridal shower, my cousin was supposed to get married. The day came and my parents left for the wedding even though I had been invited too. (I didn't want to go because I felt it would cause drama.) They came back and asked me to come on the back porch with them. They informed me my cousin had been cheated on 3 days before her wedding by her fiance. The affair was a couple of years old, and she was devastated and rightfully canceled her big expensive wedding.
I would call this karma, but I don't think she deserved this at all. No one deserves to be cheated on. That man is for the dogs. I didn't reach out to her, because I thought she would think I was gloating or being rude to her in her hard time. (I wanted to say I was so sorry this happened to her and that I would help her with anything she needed.) I know recovering people pleaser, but I felt so awful for her.
My last dress fitting with my incredible grandmother who hemmed the dress and added small details to it, my grandfather asked if I was sure if I wanted to get married. I of course said yes but it was odd he asked 2 weeks before the wedding.
The day before my wedding was my high school graduation. I walked the stage and got my diploma, and my dad said "thank you closing this door before opening a new door." Meaning he was happy I finished school before moving on to marriage. (Which was the next day so I'm not sure why he mentioned this.)
My uncle was in town for the wedding, so night before he pulled me aside and told me, "if you have second thoughts, feel free to tell me, I'll get you out of here, and everyone will get rid of the crowd." I didn't know my family was this protective until all this happened.
The day of my wedding was a blurr in the beginning because i got sick. As I'm releasing last night's dinner into the toliet, someone calls me about a pasta salad. I listen and she tells me that she's sorry, she might be late because HER DAUGHTER WAS IN THE HOSPITAL THE NIGHT BEFORE. She was my best friends mom, and I told her she didn't have to make the pasta salad if she was sleep deprived. She said she was doing it so I made she to tell her it was delicious because it was.
The wedding happened, and it was perfect. Besides the fact we had a dry wedding and everyone, and I mean everyone brought booze in their cars. I was having fun, talking to everyone, and I saw they set up a baseball game in the field beside our wedding pavillion. (All the guests brought clothes to change into because I knew the kids would get dirty at this park and I'd rather them be in play clothes then nice clothes to help out the parents)
I walked up in my long wedding dress, took off my sandals, and walked up to the plate. I hit the ball and ran the bases in my white wedding dress. I played softball for 11 years, I wasn't missing that. I don't regret it, especially since it was so fun, and I was only going to wear this dress once.
We were leaving for our wedding night, and I was stopped by an aunt that would be living an hour away from us. courses said if I needed anything or something went wrong she was an hour away. This of course made my husband skeptical because he would take incredible care of me. (And has.)
Now we went to my in laws because our duty station was 30 minutes away. (I forgot to mention a fourth of my things from my parents house was in the back of my husband's truck because haul didn't have a pull along trailer.) We lived in a tent in the woods by their house because of father in law didn't want to hear any noises. Which fair honestly lol. We went to get my military ID and found out I needed an ID. I didn't get a driver's license because I didnt have a need to. I always took the bus and didn't have a job.
This took a week, and we had to stay in the tent while waiting for the military ID. The week turned into a month an a half because housing took forever.
During our stay, my in laws had been babysitting my husband's two younger male cousins. They were a blast but could be a lot at times. Half way through our stay, our in laws housed their cousins family for a week. This means there were 11 people under one roof. With one bathroom, and a broken septic tank. (This is how I got my first ever uti because I decided to start peeing in the woods in the middle of the night a lot of nights.)
Everyone was a little on edge, and my husband and I decided that we would live in the hotel on base while waiting for our house. We spent a month in this hotel, but it was a lot more peaceful. We finally got housing after a month, and moved in right away.
Now almost a year later, I am happy to report I have a wonderful husband, a sweet puppy, and have funny scenarios to tell my children someday because of what happened while planning my wedding, the day, and my honeymoon.
submitted by ardvark-sandwich to CharlotteDobreYouTube [link] [comments]
Okay, so right off the bat I was 18 when I got married. My husband (19 at the time) and I knew each other our whole lives and dated through high school. We were long distance and saw each other in real life about 5 times, and we always video called and texted. We had gotten engaged beginning of my senior year. I was over the moon.
Until my parents found out our plan. They didn't know we had planned to be wed before my husband left for basic training for the military. They were against it, and we missed out on over $3000 because they didn't want me married at 17. I would still be finishing high school while my husband to be would be in training.
So I didn't worry about it. We had then planned for my husband and I to get married in May when he got back from all of his training. It was going to be a small affair since we didn't have much disposable income.
The plan was to get married the day after my older cousin got married because I didnt want to take away from her special day she's been planning for 3 years. (I know, cutting it close, but we couldn't get married any other day because my husband would have to be at his duty station the day after)
My cousin was furious with me over this, even though we weren't having a huge wedding. I understand she has a right to be upset, but she called me all sorts of names, and said that I was just a kid and that I'm not responsible enough to be married. She also mocked my idea to be a homemaker, and said I was setting back feminism because of this plan I had with my husband. She told me to not speak to her until I changed my date or canceled getting married. At the time I couldn't change that date.
So during my husband's training, he was pushed back about two weeks. This means we wouldn't be "ruining." my cousins wedding. I told her about the date change and extended the olive branch to say she and her family were still invited.
I didn't expect a big wedding, but my family stepped up and gave me a bridal shower, and a giant wedding. My village was incredible and I love them so much. Now the bridal shower was fantastic, the only thing I wouldve changed was that I got a more white dress to wear that day.
Now the week after my bridal shower, my cousin was supposed to get married. The day came and my parents left for the wedding even though I had been invited too. (I didn't want to go because I felt it would cause drama.) They came back and asked me to come on the back porch with them. They informed me my cousin had been cheated on 3 days before her wedding by her fiance. The affair was a couple of years old, and she was devastated and rightfully canceled her big expensive wedding.
I would call this karma, but I don't think she deserved this at all. No one deserves to be cheated on. That man is for the dogs. I didn't reach out to her, because I thought she would think I was gloating or being rude to her in her hard time. (I wanted to say I was so sorry this happened to her and that I would help her with anything she needed.) I know recovering people pleaser, but I felt so awful for her.
My last dress fitting with my incredible grandmother who hemmed the dress and added small details to it, my grandfather asked if I was sure if I wanted to get married. I of course said yes but it was odd he asked 2 weeks before the wedding.
The day before my wedding was my high school graduation. I walked the stage and got my diploma, and my dad said "thank you closing this door before opening a new door." Meaning he was happy I finished school before moving on to marriage. (Which was the next day so I'm not sure why he mentioned this.)
My uncle was in town for the wedding, so night before he pulled me aside and told me, "if you have second thoughts, feel free to tell me, I'll get you out of here, and everyone will get rid of the crowd." I didn't know my family was this protective until all this happened.
The day of my wedding was a blurr in the beginning because i got sick. As I'm releasing last night's dinner into the toliet, someone calls me about a pasta salad. I listen and she tells me that she's sorry, she might be late because HER DAUGHTER WAS IN THE HOSPITAL THE NIGHT BEFORE. She was my best friends mom, and I told her she didn't have to make the pasta salad if she was sleep deprived. She said she was doing it so I made she to tell her it was delicious because it was.
The wedding happened, and it was perfect. Besides the fact we had a dry wedding and everyone, and I mean everyone brought booze in their cars. I was having fun, talking to everyone, and I saw they set up a baseball game in the field beside our wedding pavillion. (All the guests brought clothes to change into because I knew the kids would get dirty at this park and I'd rather them be in play clothes then nice clothes to help out the parents)
I walked up in my long wedding dress, took off my sandals, and walked up to the plate. I hit the ball and ran the bases in my white wedding dress. I played softball for 11 years, I wasn't missing that. I don't regret it, especially since it was so fun, and I was only going to wear this dress once.
We were leaving for our wedding night, and I was stopped by an aunt that would be living an hour away from us. courses said if I needed anything or something went wrong she was an hour away. This of course made my husband skeptical because he would take incredible care of me. (And has.)
Now we went to my in laws because our duty station was 30 minutes away. (I forgot to mention a fourth of my things from my parents house was in the back of my husband's truck because haul didn't have a pull along trailer.) We lived in a tent in the woods by their house because of father in law didn't want to hear any noises. Which fair honestly lol. We went to get my military ID and found out I needed an ID. I didn't get a driver's license because I didnt have a need to. I always took the bus and didn't have a job.
This took a week, and we had to stay in the tent while waiting for the military ID. The week turned into a month an a half because housing took forever.
During our stay, my in laws had been babysitting my husband's two younger male cousins. They were a blast but could be a lot at times. Half way through our stay, our in laws housed their cousins family for a week. This means there were 11 people under one roof. With one bathroom, and a broken septic tank. (This is how I got my first ever uti because I decided to start peeing in the woods in the middle of the night a lot of nights.)
Everyone was a little on edge, and my husband and I decided that we would live in the hotel on base while waiting for our house. We spent a month in this hotel, but it was a lot more peaceful. We finally got housing after a month, and moved in right away.
Now almost a year later, I am happy to report I have a wonderful husband, a sweet puppy, and have funny scenarios to tell my children someday because of what happened while planning my wedding, the day, and my honeymoon.
2024.05.13 04:16 Low_Description_3874 I attempted after posting my note here...
This has been a wild fucking ride, but honestly, I'm glad everything worked out exactly as it did. I don't regret anything, including my attempt, but I'm glad I didn't die. Really.
I planned on killing myself because I was going to be homeless on the streets in CT, and I couldn't handle it. I had explored every possible option, including a green card marriage in exchange for somewhere to stay. After my 211 intake where I was told the most they could do was put me on a waitlist for a shelter and would still be on the streets for 4-6 weeks (if they didn't magically lose my info like they did every time I've ever tried to do anything through 211), I told her no thanks, I'd just km. I sharpened my knife on a Monster Beast can while I waited for the bus. I was going to try to figure out how to score heroin and take it all at the hotel, but the police showed up. Long story short, I cut my neck open in front of them.
A week later, I left the psych ward with 7 stitches in my neck, only one adjustment/addition to my current medication (I take Effexor and started taking Prazosin for my PTSD/night terrors - it seems to be working!), 4 new friends, and a lot of anger for my social worker who failed to inform me that I could just go to a homeless shelter in NYC and not be on the fucking streets, which would have been all I needed to not try to off myself. One of my new friends is a homeless crackhead with a heart of gold (we'll call him Sargeant bc there was a lady in the psych ward who gave us all nicknames, so I will be referring to all my psych ward friends by their nicknames) and I adore him. He gave me a bag of weed, two chocolate THC edibles, and $110 when we got out. So now I'm at a women's shelter in NYC, and I'm comfortable with it. I'm bonding with a lot of the other women here, I get a lot of compliments on accessories I make and wear around, one woman paid me to make a few custom bracelets for her friend who's here too for Mother's Day today and watching her give them to her was so beautiful...I could go on and on, but so many other great things have happened too.
I've tried a few new foods I've always wanted! I was telling one of my friends in the psych ward (General) that I always wanted to try lengua and never understood people's aversion to it. He picked me up from the hospital when I was discharged and took me to the food trucks at Long Wharf in New Haven, and the truck he chose had it! I had it on tacos and it was soo good. Then I realized while I was at the shelter that I'm in NYC and can get a chopped cheese like, anywhere. So I did, and then I got another one the next day because it was so good.
Also, my birthday is tomorrow, and I went out with General, Mom, and Jesus to celebrate - my psych ward friends. We went to Coney Island, rode the Cyclone, the go-karts, and walked on the beach. We drove through Times Square, and I stuck my head out the sunroof like I've always wanted to do. It was so nice to all be together again but not in the psych ward, lmao. It was a perfect day, and I was happy to be living it.
submitted by Low_Description_3874 to Suicidal_Comforters [link] [comments]
I planned on killing myself because I was going to be homeless on the streets in CT, and I couldn't handle it. I had explored every possible option, including a green card marriage in exchange for somewhere to stay. After my 211 intake where I was told the most they could do was put me on a waitlist for a shelter and would still be on the streets for 4-6 weeks (if they didn't magically lose my info like they did every time I've ever tried to do anything through 211), I told her no thanks, I'd just km. I sharpened my knife on a Monster Beast can while I waited for the bus. I was going to try to figure out how to score heroin and take it all at the hotel, but the police showed up. Long story short, I cut my neck open in front of them.
A week later, I left the psych ward with 7 stitches in my neck, only one adjustment/addition to my current medication (I take Effexor and started taking Prazosin for my PTSD/night terrors - it seems to be working!), 4 new friends, and a lot of anger for my social worker who failed to inform me that I could just go to a homeless shelter in NYC and not be on the fucking streets, which would have been all I needed to not try to off myself. One of my new friends is a homeless crackhead with a heart of gold (we'll call him Sargeant bc there was a lady in the psych ward who gave us all nicknames, so I will be referring to all my psych ward friends by their nicknames) and I adore him. He gave me a bag of weed, two chocolate THC edibles, and $110 when we got out. So now I'm at a women's shelter in NYC, and I'm comfortable with it. I'm bonding with a lot of the other women here, I get a lot of compliments on accessories I make and wear around, one woman paid me to make a few custom bracelets for her friend who's here too for Mother's Day today and watching her give them to her was so beautiful...I could go on and on, but so many other great things have happened too.
I've tried a few new foods I've always wanted! I was telling one of my friends in the psych ward (General) that I always wanted to try lengua and never understood people's aversion to it. He picked me up from the hospital when I was discharged and took me to the food trucks at Long Wharf in New Haven, and the truck he chose had it! I had it on tacos and it was soo good. Then I realized while I was at the shelter that I'm in NYC and can get a chopped cheese like, anywhere. So I did, and then I got another one the next day because it was so good.
Also, my birthday is tomorrow, and I went out with General, Mom, and Jesus to celebrate - my psych ward friends. We went to Coney Island, rode the Cyclone, the go-karts, and walked on the beach. We drove through Times Square, and I stuck my head out the sunroof like I've always wanted to do. It was so nice to all be together again but not in the psych ward, lmao. It was a perfect day, and I was happy to be living it.
2024.05.13 02:08 Just_A_Noodle_Beast Entering Japan with Lorazepam
I've seen a lot of posts asking about entering Japan with controlled medications, so thought I'd provide my experience.
We arrived three days ago to Narita from Canada. I have a prescription of Ativan (lorazepam) that I got for flight anxiety. I filled out the customs/immigration online about 3 days before departing Canada. (I was able to do this for my whole family of three, under one account). I checked yes that I was bringing narcotics with me even though I am well under the allowable limit. I get anxious with authority, so I just wanted to be safe than sorry.
After arrival, we went straight through to customs where my husband and Child got through no problem. Then when my QR was scanned, he confirmed the possession of a controlled medication, filled out a form, and sent me off with a customs officer. My husband and Child went through to baggage claim. I sat on a bench, in an open area, beside a customs office, to wait. They took my passport away from me to do whatever they needed to do in their office. At no point was I worried, and I was waiting in an area where it was open to everyone arriving (not a secure room or anything). An officer came out after about 3 minutes, had me sign a form, looked at my prescription bottle, confirmed why I had the prescription, then went back into the office with my passport. About 2 minutes after that, she came out, gave me my passport, guided me through a separate area to meet up with my husband and Child (who already had the bags), then went through immigration. We had to scan one QR code for immigration, and were waved through.
It was no problem at all, it was quick, and extra screening added maybe 6 minutes. We were through security, getting bags, getting our wifi, our bus tickets and a quick snack all in about an hour!
Also...a note...we decided to take the bus from Narita to Ikebukuro and it was so easy! It was cheap and we didn't need to deal with any transfers or rush hour on the train. Highly recommend since we were so sleep deprived and a little overwhelmed.
submitted by Just_A_Noodle_Beast to JapanTravelTips [link] [comments]
We arrived three days ago to Narita from Canada. I have a prescription of Ativan (lorazepam) that I got for flight anxiety. I filled out the customs/immigration online about 3 days before departing Canada. (I was able to do this for my whole family of three, under one account). I checked yes that I was bringing narcotics with me even though I am well under the allowable limit. I get anxious with authority, so I just wanted to be safe than sorry.
After arrival, we went straight through to customs where my husband and Child got through no problem. Then when my QR was scanned, he confirmed the possession of a controlled medication, filled out a form, and sent me off with a customs officer. My husband and Child went through to baggage claim. I sat on a bench, in an open area, beside a customs office, to wait. They took my passport away from me to do whatever they needed to do in their office. At no point was I worried, and I was waiting in an area where it was open to everyone arriving (not a secure room or anything). An officer came out after about 3 minutes, had me sign a form, looked at my prescription bottle, confirmed why I had the prescription, then went back into the office with my passport. About 2 minutes after that, she came out, gave me my passport, guided me through a separate area to meet up with my husband and Child (who already had the bags), then went through immigration. We had to scan one QR code for immigration, and were waved through.
It was no problem at all, it was quick, and extra screening added maybe 6 minutes. We were through security, getting bags, getting our wifi, our bus tickets and a quick snack all in about an hour!
Also...a note...we decided to take the bus from Narita to Ikebukuro and it was so easy! It was cheap and we didn't need to deal with any transfers or rush hour on the train. Highly recommend since we were so sleep deprived and a little overwhelmed.
2024.05.13 01:48 eldritchterror Advice for backpacking Japan from top to bottom
I do not have an immediate plan, trip date, or timeline at the moment, this is purely all hypothetical for something I would like to be able to do in the future at some point.
With that in mind, like the title says, I would like to backpack Japan from top to bottom, hiking across it and seeing and doing as much as I possibly could. I specify backpack because I'd like to be able to be semi-free of any timeline restrictions such as committing myself to pre-scheduled/reserved hotels, hostels, train/bus tickets, etc that aren't taken care of in the moment. I recently learned about the idea of 'urban camping' and have been doing some research into it regarding its legality in Japan - from what I've seen it's legal in posted/approved areas, and follows the standard deal of 'be considerate to your surroundings and always clean up your messes' and such, although is relatively looked down on by most Japanese citizens (but maybe foreigners given a little more leeway regarding that?? Unsure, didn't see too much about this.)
It's an experience I would like to have. I've been studying Japanese for a little while now (only about a month since I decided this is something I'd like to be able to do) and don't plan on actually doing this trip until I can comfortably converse basic needs and such so that I'm not a burden on the people around me.
I know this is probably a bit of an odd thing, since I doubt many people are interested in 'yeah hike across a country looking like a homeless person sleeping in parks' so I apologize if thisn't the correct place to post about it. Other similar subreddits didn't seem necessarily the correct places to post so here I am. I'd appreciate reference to other subs that may be helpful
BUT to get to the main point - I'd like to hear more experienced travelers general advice for an endeavour like this. I know there's plenty of places I can use in bigger cities to do laundry, get food, bathe, etc, however I'd like to know what type of weather to plan for, what season/months would be best to do this kind of things, various things that foreigners wouldn't be aware of that could either make their journeys easier or that they should be sure to avoid. The last thing I want to do is be another annoying tourist that everyone looks down on for being inattentive and rude to their surroundings. If anyone has more knowledge about the legality and such of urban camping in Japan as well, I'd really appreciate it. I know I'll still ruffle some feathers given the nature of my desire during my trip, but I just want to basically be as little of problem as possible for the people around me and not cause issues.
submitted by eldritchterror to JapanTravelTips [link] [comments]
With that in mind, like the title says, I would like to backpack Japan from top to bottom, hiking across it and seeing and doing as much as I possibly could. I specify backpack because I'd like to be able to be semi-free of any timeline restrictions such as committing myself to pre-scheduled/reserved hotels, hostels, train/bus tickets, etc that aren't taken care of in the moment. I recently learned about the idea of 'urban camping' and have been doing some research into it regarding its legality in Japan - from what I've seen it's legal in posted/approved areas, and follows the standard deal of 'be considerate to your surroundings and always clean up your messes' and such, although is relatively looked down on by most Japanese citizens (but maybe foreigners given a little more leeway regarding that?? Unsure, didn't see too much about this.)
It's an experience I would like to have. I've been studying Japanese for a little while now (only about a month since I decided this is something I'd like to be able to do) and don't plan on actually doing this trip until I can comfortably converse basic needs and such so that I'm not a burden on the people around me.
I know this is probably a bit of an odd thing, since I doubt many people are interested in 'yeah hike across a country looking like a homeless person sleeping in parks' so I apologize if thisn't the correct place to post about it. Other similar subreddits didn't seem necessarily the correct places to post so here I am. I'd appreciate reference to other subs that may be helpful
BUT to get to the main point - I'd like to hear more experienced travelers general advice for an endeavour like this. I know there's plenty of places I can use in bigger cities to do laundry, get food, bathe, etc, however I'd like to know what type of weather to plan for, what season/months would be best to do this kind of things, various things that foreigners wouldn't be aware of that could either make their journeys easier or that they should be sure to avoid. The last thing I want to do is be another annoying tourist that everyone looks down on for being inattentive and rude to their surroundings. If anyone has more knowledge about the legality and such of urban camping in Japan as well, I'd really appreciate it. I know I'll still ruffle some feathers given the nature of my desire during my trip, but I just want to basically be as little of problem as possible for the people around me and not cause issues.
2024.05.13 00:05 Disco_Inferno_NJ Race Reports: Boston and London, or "local Redditor doesn't take his own advice"
Buckle in, guys - this is going to be a long one. Also, I come out of the closet...as a Swiftie. HMU if you want me to bring friendship bracelets to Brooklyn.
Any resemblance to real people is...not coincidental, actually.
(Boston does intermediate splits late-race starting 35k (35K, 23M, 24M, 40K, 1 mile out), so so the last two splits are aggregates.)
(London's app shows aggregate splits, so if you look at my official times it'll look like I was perfectly even throughout.)
Okay, OP. Why did you do this to yourself?
tl;dr: I'm basic.
Like a lot of people, one of my goals is to be asix-star seven-star finisher (thanks Sydney). Boston and New York were relatively easy to check off, and they've both kind of become my "regulars." I did Chicago last fall after a long delay - originally I was planning on doing it in 2020, but you know what happened. You might have heard about it!
For London, I applied to the lottery - or as they say across the pond, the ballot - last year and got rejected like everyone else does. I had a backup plan, though - I was going to apply to be a pacer. Two of my friends (David and Jazmin) had paced London last year and had a good experience, and they asked me to throw my hat in the ring this year.
...Okay, but OP, HOW did you do this to yourself? I want the deets.
Step 1: qualify for Boston again. (You can do it at Boston, but I don't recommend it because that is absolutely stressful. On the other hand, the one thing worse than trying to BQ at Boston without one in hand is trying to BQ in New York when it's 75 degrees.)
Step 2: apply to be a pacer and pray. London has open pacer applications, although I think they preference returning pacers. Also pacers that have actually paced marathons before. Neither of which applied to me at the time (I had signed up to pace Philly, but applications opened around NYC for this year). However, one thing I don't value is my bodily integrity so I just put down the fastest times I felt comfortable doing.
David, Jazmin, and I got the acceptance emails about a week later. David would be pacing 3:25, Jazmin would be pacing 3:40, and I...would be pacing 3:10, or the fastest group I put down. I remember being at work and listening to "Cornelia Street" by Taylor Swift when I read my email. The only way it could have been more on-the-nose is if it had been "London Boy."
(Also, justice for "Lover.")
Since I'd never internationally traveled before, I applied for a passport in November (just before Thanksgiving). Keep that in mind.
...ooh boy.
General training (or what SHOULD have happened)
My friend David coaches a group of us, adapting the training program that our club coach used. We're fairly heavy on the MP work, and surprisingly not so much on threshold. A typical week looks like this:
What ACTUALLY happened
Post-Chicago, I was pretty much unstructured, but ran a couple of more races:
Suffice to say, my training was disorganized as hell. I think I got a couple of 70-mile weeks in back in February, but kind of fell off in March when I was still dealing with some niggles of my own and also work things. Somehow, I managed to do a couple of races:
This was the less stressful event - on Saturday, I went up with my friend Joe who was spectating. Did the standard Boston race weekend stuff (shout out to Puma for their Sunday shakeout, the amazing panel, and for actually feeding us), met up with our other friends running Boston Sunday, and had dinner with our friends Jazmin and Janna (who were running) and Janna's husband Mark (who was not).
Also, I got my bib signed by Jenny Simpson on Saturday.
Monday, I just did my usual race prep - which is absolutely no prep whatsoever. (To wit, breakfast was "coffee and a banana loaf from Dunkin'.") I met up with Jazmin - who was planning to leave that night - and caught a shuttle to the Common with her. Funny enough, on the bus to Hopkinton we met up with our friend Cole who was getting his sixth star at Boston.
Race Day
I figured I'd go for an "easy 2:55" because Chicago gave me way too much confidence. I started from corral 3 and caught up with Cole (in corral 2) within the first mile. We mostly ran together for about 6 or 7 miles and then I lost track of him. I just assumed he'd dropped me because he's much faster than me. (The guy's currently a 2:30s marathoner. I say that because his lifetime PR is in the 2:20s.)
Gradually, it got warmer and warmer, but I was still feeling relatively good through the first half. I kissed one of the Wellesley students in the Scream Tunnel (to be fair, I was going to mind my own business, but she was standing on top of the fence holding a sign saying "Kiss me if you can reach," and I'm 6'5" and do not back down from challenges), but I mostly maintained pace into Newton.
And then I realized a few things:
Anyway, so, long story short:
Post-Race
I managed to get myself back to our hotel (also, ended up taking a selfie with an older gentleman on the Silver Line), and waited for Jazmin. And waited. Opening the tracker was pretty worrisome, as she'd slowed down a ton.
Finally, she finished, but she had a rough time. Thankfully, her coach found her at the finish and drove her over to our hotel. And one of her friends picked her up and drove her home. I'm not going to lie, I was pretty worried about her for London six days later.
(I'm intentionally being vague here, but...yeah, it was rough.)
I also found out that Cole finished about 15 minutes behind me (he said he'd been sick the week before, which I didn't know until after the race). Janna did pretty much the same thing that I did, in jogging in the back half. She still ended up on the Fast Women Instagram page (as she should).
Anyway, Janna, Mark, Joe, and I had a rather interesting dinner, and then it was back home on Tuesday. For most of us, anyway.
I did the math and - yeah - it was actually less expensive for me to go back home than to just stay an extra night. Welcome to marathon weekend. Paid through the nose for an expedited passport ($225), but...hey, I managed to get it. Shout out to FlixBus for the hook-up. Honestly, I recommend the 6:30 AM buses.
London (for real this time)
To Taylor Alison Swift: Why would you drop a double album on London Marathon weekend. Not only that, while I was taking a red-eye trans-Atlantic flight. Joe Alwyn wasn't even running it (and I'm not even sure Matty Healy could run 26.2 feet), so you don't even have that excuse. Janna suggested I buy the in-flight WiFi. I opted not to, and in retrospect that was the correct decision. (FWIW, TTPD is okay, but not worth $8 to United. That said, "So Long, London" into "But Daddy, I Love Him" is a hell of a choice.)
Anyway, for London, I flew in with Jazmin and my dad (who was also flying trans-Atlantic for the first time), and meeting David and another one of our friends (who is also named Joe) in London. If you are keeping count, we're up to three Joes in this recap already. Due to an opportune seat swap (shout out to the lady who wanted to sit with her husband, I don't care if you were telling the truth or if you just felt sorry for me), I managed to get a couple of hours of sleep on the flight.
We landed mid-day Friday at Heathrow, got into London, and my dad and I checked in to our hotel. (Right next to Waterloo Station, actually, which was nice!) Or we would have checked in, if everyone wasn't evacuating the hotel because of a fire alarm.
We did manage to get checked in after everything was sorted out, and then it was off to the expo (or the show, as London puts it). When we signed up, we had to volunteer for a 2-hour shift at the expo - and in our infinite wisdom, we chose the 3:30-5:30 shift. I spent most of that shift trying to explain why we ran out of 3:20, 3:25, 3:50, and 3:55 pace bands (god speed to the pacers for those groups).
Also, I picked up my gear for pacing - including the uniform (excuse me, kit), pacer flag, and the shoes. In my case, because I have clown feet (14 US/13.5 UK), they ended up being 1080s. And since London strongly encourages us to wear NB, I did not bring my usual shoes (Endorphin Elites).
"OP, it seems like you make a lot of poor planning decisions," you might be saying if you're still reading this. And...yes, yes, I agree. (Technically, I could wear whatever shoe, I'd just need to cover the logos. But I figured I'd be running 22 minutes slower than my PR so I'd be fine regardless.) I will say the 1080s are comfortable, though. Very loud - it's the London colorway, so imagine my size shoe in highlighter yellow, orange, and hot pink - but comfy.
Got back to the hotel, had dinner, argued with my dad about English electrical ports (despite what they look like, they are not USB ports), and tucked in for the night.
Saturday was mostly sightseeing - David, Jazmin, and I did a shakeout run around Westminster and caught the start of the Mini Marathon, and then my dad and I walked around a bit. Also did a night bus tour - shout out to Emma and Julie from Golden Tours - and had the standard pasta dinner. I went to bed around 9...only to get woken up at 10 by yet another fire alarm. After stumbling outside in 5-degree weather and back to our hotel, I somehow managed to get back to sleep.
Race Morning
Whoever labeled Waterloo East on literally every map by the platform instead of the entrance: your mum.
After having a surprisingly leisurely breakfast and a surprisingly hard time finding the entrance for the train station, I managed to hop the train out to the start of the race. Met up with David and Jazmin (apparently they were in the last car and I was in the middle of the train), and then we went out to the pacer meetup in the basement of the Clarendon Inn.
Imagine a small basement room with 140 people speaking multiple languages crammed in together, and that kind of approaches the chaos we were dealing with. You also have to add in a very assertive British guy with a whistle (shout out to Akram, the London coordinator). From past experience, David and Jazmin decided to leave for the corrals (or waves - I feel like London has its own language) around 9, and I went with them to our starts (blue for me and Jazmin, green for David).
I put on my flag (which I've never run with before - every other race has been with a hand-held sign) and immediately became one of the most popular people at the London Marathon. Most of my time was spent going, "uh I guess I'm running even 🤷🏿♂️," which I am sure boosted everyone's confidence in me.
The Race
London is similar to NYC where there are three separate starts that merge into one course. London's merges are a bit earlier than NYC's - Blue and Green merge in the first mile or so, and then Yellow/Red merge in around mile 3. (Not sure why they use two colors for that start!) The major difference is that there isn't one unified starting gun - in fact, the starts are pretty spread out, and it feels more like a rolling start. From big-race experience, I knew my GPS would be off, so I'd have to rely on my elapsed time and my pace band. I tried to yell out splits every mile and every 5k (so yes, I was the annoying American with the especially annoying New Jersey accent yelling out random numbers).
The first mile was relatively easy and uncongested - in fact, I was a bit concerned because I was a little fast (7:11 by my reckoning). And then we came up behind the Green 3:15 pace group. Famously, Comrades Marathon (at least - I'm not sure if this is a South Africa thing, or specific to that race) refers to their pace groups as "buses." I can see the comparison, as trying to maneuver safely around the pace group while knowing I had my own group felt like trying to parallel park a double-decker bus.
Somehow, we managed to pass them relatively safely...and then we came up behind the Yellow 3:15 group. I was pretty stressed, I'll admit. (The next largest race I've been a pacer for is Philadelphia, which is at most 1/4 the field size.) Somehow, I managed to keep people with me, although I admittedly didn't look too much.
That said, it says something when Cutty Sark feels like one of the more open places on the course.
We crossed Tower Bridge and got to halfway in 1:34:55 by my watch. Okay...but a little bit slow. My preference is to be 15 seconds under at halfway, and 30 seconds under at the finish. But hey, I was well within the window, right? The halfway window was 90 seconds under to 30 seconds over, which I was within.
Heading out to Canary Wharf, we actually got a good look at the pro men coming back - Munyao, Tola, and AdvancedRunning favorites Bekele and Cairess. I don't think I've ever been that close to the pros at a major before, so that was pretty cool. If Bekele is reading this, hi, I was the weird tall guy from London. (The one with the flag.) Please continue wrecking my age grading.
Meanwhile the chaos on the course shifted from fighting through slower groups in other starts to wading through the carnage of people blowing up. I don't know if it was especially bad, but - again - it kind of hits different when you know people are following you and also you're on English roads in a world major.
As I was going, I was keeping track of the splits. I knew it was going to be close...but when I saw 3:01:16 at 25 and checked my band (which said 3:01:10 for a 3:10 bang-on), I knew things were close. For reference, pacers' flags at London actually say "Sub [pace]" because they're expected to come in up to a minute under their time. My target was 3:09:00 to 3:09:59. We could make it, but it'd take a bit of a push.
Coming around Buckingham Palace, I was checking my watch and checking the time. I thought I'd make it. And then I crossed the line and stopped my watch.
3:10:00.
Fuck.
Post-Race
But hey, some people managed to hang with me. (Shout out to Nathan on the PR!) I gave (and got) congrats, took a couple of photos, picked up my stuff, and handed in my gear. Like hundreds of other people (my god like hundreds of us), I stopped by Waterstone's, went up to the cafe, and got a tea and scone. (Very good post-race fueling, I must admit.) Got back to the hotel, showered, and went out for pints and dinner post-race with the gang and my dad.
Also, I checked my official time. 3:09:57. I made it, but just barely. It was a bit slower than I'd like, but hey - not too shabby for doing this in 1080s.
Jazmin made it through a bit off target (like 19 seconds, I think), although it was a bit of a struggle, she said.
David...had a rougher go of it. He himself was injured going into the race, so he had to take his flag down around mile 22. He still managed to finish, though.
As for me: Got home that Tuesday. Told myself that I wouldn't do this again next year as we were going through Newark passport control (aka: Satan's butthole). Changed my mind after I got back on Eastern time, went back to work, and realized what I'd missed. Ran a trail 10k (Leatherman's Loop) the week after because (again) I do not value my bodily integrity. (Also, it was an impromptu midlife crisis.)
It took me a while to gather my thoughts - and even longer to edit this down somewhat. And yes, this is actually edited a bit from where it was.
Finally, one thing I've kept coming back to is the Boston Globe article about 26.TRUE that came out around the same time as the Boston Marathon. I highly suggest you read it - I couldn't decide whether to lead or to end with this, but at any rate it's worth it.
Made with a new race report generator created by u/herumph.
submitted by Disco_Inferno_NJ to AdvancedRunning [link] [comments]
Any resemblance to real people is...not coincidental, actually.
Race Information
- Name: Boston Marathon
- Date: April 15, 2024
- Distance: 26.2 miles
- Location: Boston, MA
- Website: https://www.baa.org/
- Strava: https://www.strava.com/activities/11188906240/overview
- Time: 3:04:31
Goals
| Goal | Description | Completed? |
|---|---|---|
| A | Don't totally kill my legs | Sorta |
| B | Get the finish | Yes |
| C | 2:55 | No |
| D | 3:00 | No |
Splits
| Kilometer | Time | Pace (min/mi) |
|---|---|---|
| 5 | 20:25 | 6:35 |
| 10 | 20:50 (41:15) | 6:43 |
| 15 | 20:39 (1:01:54) | 6:40 |
| 20 | 20:44 (1:22:38) | 6:41 |
| Half | 4:31 (1:27:09) | 6:38 |
| 25 | 16:20/20:51 (1:43:29) | 6:45 |
| 30 | 21:43 (2:05:16) | 7:01 |
| Heartbreak Start (20M/32K) | 10:03 (2:15:19) | 7:24 |
| Heartbreak End (21M/33.6K) | 6:56 (2:22:15) | 6:57 (lmao) |
| 35 | 5:30/22:29 (2:27:45) | 7:22 |
| 40 | 27:03 (2:54:48) | 8:42* |
| Finish | 9:43 | 7:08* |
Race Information
- Name: London Marathon
- Date: April 21, 2024
- Distance: 26.2 miles
- Location: London, UK
- Website: http://www.tcslondonmarathon.com
- Strava: https://www.strava.com/activities/11231697234/overview
- Time: 3:09:57
Goals
| Goal | Description | Completed? |
|---|---|---|
| A | 3:09:30 | No |
| B | 3:09:59 | Yes |
Splits
| Kilometer | Time | Pace (min/mi) |
|---|---|---|
| 5 | 22:25 | 7:12 |
| 10 | 22:36 (45:01) | 7:16 |
| 15 | 22:31 (1:07:32) | 7:15 |
| 20 | 22:23 (1:29:55) | 7:13 |
| Half | 4:58 (1:34:53) | 7:16 |
| 25 | 17:45/22:43 (1:52:38) | 7:19 |
| 30 | 22:27 (2:14:59) | 7:13 |
| 35 | 22:42 (2:37:41) | 7:19 |
| 40 | 22:34 (3:00:15) | 7:16 |
| Finish | 9:42 | 7:08 |
Opening
Some people overthink their training programs. I overthink my race recaps.Okay, OP. Why did you do this to yourself?
tl;dr: I'm basic.
Like a lot of people, one of my goals is to be a
For London, I applied to the lottery - or as they say across the pond, the ballot - last year and got rejected like everyone else does. I had a backup plan, though - I was going to apply to be a pacer. Two of my friends (David and Jazmin) had paced London last year and had a good experience, and they asked me to throw my hat in the ring this year.
...Okay, but OP, HOW did you do this to yourself? I want the deets.
Step 1: qualify for Boston again. (You can do it at Boston, but I don't recommend it because that is absolutely stressful. On the other hand, the one thing worse than trying to BQ at Boston without one in hand is trying to BQ in New York when it's 75 degrees.)
Step 2: apply to be a pacer and pray. London has open pacer applications, although I think they preference returning pacers. Also pacers that have actually paced marathons before. Neither of which applied to me at the time (I had signed up to pace Philly, but applications opened around NYC for this year). However, one thing I don't value is my bodily integrity so I just put down the fastest times I felt comfortable doing.
David, Jazmin, and I got the acceptance emails about a week later. David would be pacing 3:25, Jazmin would be pacing 3:40, and I...would be pacing 3:10, or the fastest group I put down. I remember being at work and listening to "Cornelia Street" by Taylor Swift when I read my email. The only way it could have been more on-the-nose is if it had been "London Boy."
(Also, justice for "Lover.")
Since I'd never internationally traveled before, I applied for a passport in November (just before Thanksgiving). Keep that in mind.
Training/Preparation
*starts laughing with a seamless transition into sobbing*...ooh boy.
General training (or what SHOULD have happened)
My friend David coaches a group of us, adapting the training program that our club coach used. We're fairly heavy on the MP work, and surprisingly not so much on threshold. A typical week looks like this:
- Monday - easy 60m. Normally, this is about 7 miles.
- Tuesday - track workout; ~2 miles up, ~3 miles total on (at 5KP or faster), ~1-2 miles down
- Wednesday - easy 60m
- Thursday - tempo/MP work (because I know I'm gonna get yelled at). 1-2 miles up, up to 90 total minutes at ~MP down to ~HMP (for me, ~6:30 to ~6:00, roughly), couple of miles down.
- Friday - easy 60m
- Saturday/Sunday - easy one day, LR the other day. LR's normally easy (~8:00 pace or so), but sometimes includes MP chunks. We go up to 23 miles (or 3 hours).
- (Bonus) Doubles whenever I can fit them in during marathon blocks...and strangely enough, I'll usually double on Wednesdays regardless because our local Fleet Feet has a 3-mile group run Wednesday evenings. And yes, I know this is insane but apparently I'd rather be crazy than be alone.
What ACTUALLY happened
Post-Chicago, I was pretty much unstructured, but ran a couple of more races:
- I paced a HM two weeks post-Chicago (0/10 do not recommend pacing a 1:30 HM on a course with 800 feet of elevation two weeks after your goal marathon, those first few miles hurt).
- I ran with a friend at NYC to help him get a BQ (which he ran 5 minutes under - he's 47, so we did just under 3:15).
- Philly went surprisingly well, considering I had done like two marathons in the previous month and a half.
- On the plus side, we ended up splitting 1:34:30/1:35:20ish. So a bit hot at the start, but not overly so.
- On the downside, I ended up taking two bathroom stops. Shout out to my co-pacer Mu for...you know...not having his bladder decide to be embarrassing. Shout out to Liz (the Philly coordinator) for having the good sense to give me adult supervision.
- My primary training partner from last fall tore his meniscus and still can't run.
- Jazmin decided to get a private coach, but still asked me to do some of her workouts with her.
- Another one of my friends made his comeback after being hurt last year - and he's following Daniels and his own schedule, and also asked me to run with him on occasion.
- Meanwhile, the rest of the group stuck to the same schedule I posted before.
- Also, I should mention I'm a terminal people pleaser and hate making decisions.
Suffice to say, my training was disorganized as hell. I think I got a couple of 70-mile weeks in back in February, but kind of fell off in March when I was still dealing with some niggles of my own and also work things. Somehow, I managed to do a couple of races:
- I ran 1:19:5x at NYC Half (like half of this sub apparently).
- Also, I ran a sub-36 10k. A week before Boston. In retrospect, this might have been a mistake.
Boston
Pre-RaceThis was the less stressful event - on Saturday, I went up with my friend Joe who was spectating. Did the standard Boston race weekend stuff (shout out to Puma for their Sunday shakeout, the amazing panel, and for actually feeding us), met up with our other friends running Boston Sunday, and had dinner with our friends Jazmin and Janna (who were running) and Janna's husband Mark (who was not).
Also, I got my bib signed by Jenny Simpson on Saturday.
Monday, I just did my usual race prep - which is absolutely no prep whatsoever. (To wit, breakfast was "coffee and a banana loaf from Dunkin'.") I met up with Jazmin - who was planning to leave that night - and caught a shuttle to the Common with her. Funny enough, on the bus to Hopkinton we met up with our friend Cole who was getting his sixth star at Boston.
Race Day
I figured I'd go for an "easy 2:55" because Chicago gave me way too much confidence. I started from corral 3 and caught up with Cole (in corral 2) within the first mile. We mostly ran together for about 6 or 7 miles and then I lost track of him. I just assumed he'd dropped me because he's much faster than me. (The guy's currently a 2:30s marathoner. I say that because his lifetime PR is in the 2:20s.)
Gradually, it got warmer and warmer, but I was still feeling relatively good through the first half. I kissed one of the Wellesley students in the Scream Tunnel (to be fair, I was going to mind my own business, but she was standing on top of the fence holding a sign saying "Kiss me if you can reach," and I'm 6'5" and do not back down from challenges), but I mostly maintained pace into Newton.
And then I realized a few things:
- While the temperature may have been approved by Rob Gronkowski, it was definitely not approved by me.
- I ran a 2:47 last fall, so I had exactly zero reason to continue to try for a 2:55.
- I also had to do this again in six days. And that was the deciding factor to just throw in the towel.
Anyway, so, long story short:
- Around mile 18, I actually ended up running with a guy that I'd recognized from NYC 2022 - that day, he went down on the side of the course. At Boston, we ran together for about half a mile going back and forth...and then I just let him leave me.
- Somehow, still managed to set a Heartbreak PR. I think.
- I totally missed Joe, Mark, and the three blondes Joe and Mark recruited to cheer for me around mile 25. (I regret to inform all of them that three hot women are not quite as good at getting my attention as three hot men are. 💅🏿)
Post-Race
I managed to get myself back to our hotel (also, ended up taking a selfie with an older gentleman on the Silver Line), and waited for Jazmin. And waited. Opening the tracker was pretty worrisome, as she'd slowed down a ton.
Finally, she finished, but she had a rough time. Thankfully, her coach found her at the finish and drove her over to our hotel. And one of her friends picked her up and drove her home. I'm not going to lie, I was pretty worried about her for London six days later.
(I'm intentionally being vague here, but...yeah, it was rough.)
I also found out that Cole finished about 15 minutes behind me (he said he'd been sick the week before, which I didn't know until after the race). Janna did pretty much the same thing that I did, in jogging in the back half. She still ended up on the Fast Women Instagram page (as she should).
Anyway, Janna, Mark, Joe, and I had a rather interesting dinner, and then it was back home on Tuesday. For most of us, anyway.
London
But first, Boston (again)I did the math and - yeah - it was actually less expensive for me to go back home than to just stay an extra night. Welcome to marathon weekend. Paid through the nose for an expedited passport ($225), but...hey, I managed to get it. Shout out to FlixBus for the hook-up. Honestly, I recommend the 6:30 AM buses.
London (for real this time)
To Taylor Alison Swift: Why would you drop a double album on London Marathon weekend. Not only that, while I was taking a red-eye trans-Atlantic flight. Joe Alwyn wasn't even running it (and I'm not even sure Matty Healy could run 26.2 feet), so you don't even have that excuse. Janna suggested I buy the in-flight WiFi. I opted not to, and in retrospect that was the correct decision. (FWIW, TTPD is okay, but not worth $8 to United. That said, "So Long, London" into "But Daddy, I Love Him" is a hell of a choice.)
Anyway, for London, I flew in with Jazmin and my dad (who was also flying trans-Atlantic for the first time), and meeting David and another one of our friends (who is also named Joe) in London. If you are keeping count, we're up to three Joes in this recap already. Due to an opportune seat swap (shout out to the lady who wanted to sit with her husband, I don't care if you were telling the truth or if you just felt sorry for me), I managed to get a couple of hours of sleep on the flight.
We landed mid-day Friday at Heathrow, got into London, and my dad and I checked in to our hotel. (Right next to Waterloo Station, actually, which was nice!) Or we would have checked in, if everyone wasn't evacuating the hotel because of a fire alarm.
We did manage to get checked in after everything was sorted out, and then it was off to the expo (or the show, as London puts it). When we signed up, we had to volunteer for a 2-hour shift at the expo - and in our infinite wisdom, we chose the 3:30-5:30 shift. I spent most of that shift trying to explain why we ran out of 3:20, 3:25, 3:50, and 3:55 pace bands (god speed to the pacers for those groups).
Also, I picked up my gear for pacing - including the uniform (excuse me, kit), pacer flag, and the shoes. In my case, because I have clown feet (14 US/13.5 UK), they ended up being 1080s. And since London strongly encourages us to wear NB, I did not bring my usual shoes (Endorphin Elites).
"OP, it seems like you make a lot of poor planning decisions," you might be saying if you're still reading this. And...yes, yes, I agree. (Technically, I could wear whatever shoe, I'd just need to cover the logos. But I figured I'd be running 22 minutes slower than my PR so I'd be fine regardless.) I will say the 1080s are comfortable, though. Very loud - it's the London colorway, so imagine my size shoe in highlighter yellow, orange, and hot pink - but comfy.
Got back to the hotel, had dinner, argued with my dad about English electrical ports (despite what they look like, they are not USB ports), and tucked in for the night.
Saturday was mostly sightseeing - David, Jazmin, and I did a shakeout run around Westminster and caught the start of the Mini Marathon, and then my dad and I walked around a bit. Also did a night bus tour - shout out to Emma and Julie from Golden Tours - and had the standard pasta dinner. I went to bed around 9...only to get woken up at 10 by yet another fire alarm. After stumbling outside in 5-degree weather and back to our hotel, I somehow managed to get back to sleep.
Race Morning
Whoever labeled Waterloo East on literally every map by the platform instead of the entrance: your mum.
After having a surprisingly leisurely breakfast and a surprisingly hard time finding the entrance for the train station, I managed to hop the train out to the start of the race. Met up with David and Jazmin (apparently they were in the last car and I was in the middle of the train), and then we went out to the pacer meetup in the basement of the Clarendon Inn.
Imagine a small basement room with 140 people speaking multiple languages crammed in together, and that kind of approaches the chaos we were dealing with. You also have to add in a very assertive British guy with a whistle (shout out to Akram, the London coordinator). From past experience, David and Jazmin decided to leave for the corrals (or waves - I feel like London has its own language) around 9, and I went with them to our starts (blue for me and Jazmin, green for David).
I put on my flag (which I've never run with before - every other race has been with a hand-held sign) and immediately became one of the most popular people at the London Marathon. Most of my time was spent going, "uh I guess I'm running even 🤷🏿♂️," which I am sure boosted everyone's confidence in me.
The Race
London is similar to NYC where there are three separate starts that merge into one course. London's merges are a bit earlier than NYC's - Blue and Green merge in the first mile or so, and then Yellow/Red merge in around mile 3. (Not sure why they use two colors for that start!) The major difference is that there isn't one unified starting gun - in fact, the starts are pretty spread out, and it feels more like a rolling start. From big-race experience, I knew my GPS would be off, so I'd have to rely on my elapsed time and my pace band. I tried to yell out splits every mile and every 5k (so yes, I was the annoying American with the especially annoying New Jersey accent yelling out random numbers).
The first mile was relatively easy and uncongested - in fact, I was a bit concerned because I was a little fast (7:11 by my reckoning). And then we came up behind the Green 3:15 pace group. Famously, Comrades Marathon (at least - I'm not sure if this is a South Africa thing, or specific to that race) refers to their pace groups as "buses." I can see the comparison, as trying to maneuver safely around the pace group while knowing I had my own group felt like trying to parallel park a double-decker bus.
Somehow, we managed to pass them relatively safely...and then we came up behind the Yellow 3:15 group. I was pretty stressed, I'll admit. (The next largest race I've been a pacer for is Philadelphia, which is at most 1/4 the field size.) Somehow, I managed to keep people with me, although I admittedly didn't look too much.
That said, it says something when Cutty Sark feels like one of the more open places on the course.
We crossed Tower Bridge and got to halfway in 1:34:55 by my watch. Okay...but a little bit slow. My preference is to be 15 seconds under at halfway, and 30 seconds under at the finish. But hey, I was well within the window, right? The halfway window was 90 seconds under to 30 seconds over, which I was within.
Heading out to Canary Wharf, we actually got a good look at the pro men coming back - Munyao, Tola, and AdvancedRunning favorites Bekele and Cairess. I don't think I've ever been that close to the pros at a major before, so that was pretty cool. If Bekele is reading this, hi, I was the weird tall guy from London. (The one with the flag.) Please continue wrecking my age grading.
Meanwhile the chaos on the course shifted from fighting through slower groups in other starts to wading through the carnage of people blowing up. I don't know if it was especially bad, but - again - it kind of hits different when you know people are following you and also you're on English roads in a world major.
As I was going, I was keeping track of the splits. I knew it was going to be close...but when I saw 3:01:16 at 25 and checked my band (which said 3:01:10 for a 3:10 bang-on), I knew things were close. For reference, pacers' flags at London actually say "Sub [pace]" because they're expected to come in up to a minute under their time. My target was 3:09:00 to 3:09:59. We could make it, but it'd take a bit of a push.
Coming around Buckingham Palace, I was checking my watch and checking the time. I thought I'd make it. And then I crossed the line and stopped my watch.
3:10:00.
Fuck.
Post-Race
But hey, some people managed to hang with me. (Shout out to Nathan on the PR!) I gave (and got) congrats, took a couple of photos, picked up my stuff, and handed in my gear. Like hundreds of other people (my god like hundreds of us), I stopped by Waterstone's, went up to the cafe, and got a tea and scone. (Very good post-race fueling, I must admit.) Got back to the hotel, showered, and went out for pints and dinner post-race with the gang and my dad.
Also, I checked my official time. 3:09:57. I made it, but just barely. It was a bit slower than I'd like, but hey - not too shabby for doing this in 1080s.
Epilogue
So Long, LondonJazmin made it through a bit off target (like 19 seconds, I think), although it was a bit of a struggle, she said.
David...had a rougher go of it. He himself was injured going into the race, so he had to take his flag down around mile 22. He still managed to finish, though.
As for me: Got home that Tuesday. Told myself that I wouldn't do this again next year as we were going through Newark passport control (aka: Satan's butthole). Changed my mind after I got back on Eastern time, went back to work, and realized what I'd missed. Ran a trail 10k (Leatherman's Loop) the week after because (again) I do not value my bodily integrity. (Also, it was an impromptu midlife crisis.)
It took me a while to gather my thoughts - and even longer to edit this down somewhat. And yes, this is actually edited a bit from where it was.
Finally, one thing I've kept coming back to is the Boston Globe article about 26.TRUE that came out around the same time as the Boston Marathon. I highly suggest you read it - I couldn't decide whether to lead or to end with this, but at any rate it's worth it.
Made with a new race report generator created by u/herumph.