I'm thankful to this sub. Because of the advice here, I am a better dog owner. I own a Pomeranian and pretty much always have had that breed, aside from a few mutts (real ones) and the family golden retriever.
My son was once attacked by a family member's pit (escaped the kennel), went to the hospital and everything, but that's a different story....
Anyway, because of what I've read, I always make sure my Pom is secured before we ever open the doors. This usually entails someone holding him as we enteexit, sometimes checking gates (they're typically undisturbed)
New renters 5 houses down moved in with a pit. They walk it multiple times a day, definitely down our street. They cross the street when joggers and other passersby use the sidewalk. That's nice of them I guess, if not the bare minimum.
Today I was leaving to take 7yr daughter to school and I see the pit is being walked so I make sure husband has the Pom. All good there.
We proceed to the car and my daughter is giggling and excited, and the pit, across the street and no longer directly in front of us, stops dead in it's tracks. It is just hard staring, it's eyes are locked on my daughter, no wagging tail or anything. The owner allows it, he just stands there. Pit is on 2 leashes. I rush my daughter into the car and let her know that dog was not cool and explained some of the signs of unsafe dogs on the way to her school. We should have been talking about her upcoming Pajama Day.
We have a group of (5) 6-8 year olds that play between three houses. I'm good with all the neighbors with the exception of the pit owners. It makes me want to scream.
It's so frustrating. I now have the kids over in my backyard as much as I can, but they love to go between our houses, getting snacks from us all. Such a bummer that I worked so hard to be in this neighborhood and it's instantaneously kind of ruined. I sit outside after work and watch the kids, I'm just tired.
Thanks again for the solid advice and also giving me a place to vent.
*Sorry if rushed at the end, bath time for kids and homework.

Hi users of SJ.. I have a bit of question. There is a large parking area (just an open lot of gravel, no actual designated parking spots) that belongs to an apartment building of 4/5 different families. It pulls off the main street and you can go in or out from any part of it. It is often used as a turn-around spot for vehicles, if that makes sense. No sidewalk or anything. There is no sign or anything that states that parking is prohibited. Infact, it is just a lot. No signs anywhere at all. I park my vehicle there, to the farthest away of the building out of the way so people can come and go. My house is along the road, so I only have a small spot that doesn't actually fit my vehicle infront of my steps. One of the tenants that lives in the apartment doesn't seem to like sharing the space. I don't understand because it's not that our vehicles are anywhere close to the building, are in the way, infact you could probably fit 4 or 5 more cars between where i park and where she parks. So, she put up a "No parking. Prosecutors will be towed at owners expense." Can she get me towed if she doesn't own the building? I am not in any designated spots, not in any driveways, not blocking anything. I even began parking on the rough patch of grass to the side of it, which I have to parrellel park to get into so i'm REALLY not in any way. So question is; can she get me towed if she doesn't own the building?

Hi! I'm a long time GM that is itching to get another game going in my homebrew fantasy world! If you are looking for a fun, sandbox game, with a focus on character stories and immersion, this might be the game for you! New players are super welcome! I encourage all the 5e players to give GURPS a shot, I think you might really like it!
This post is a repost to hopefully get a few more players, if you already applied no need to apply again!

The World

The world of Mithlasia is an epic fantasy world quite different from out own. Dragons dominate the landscape, while young dragons terrorize the wilderness, elder dragons subjugate entire cities. The wilderness is full of strange and fantastic creatures, with an abundance of megafauna such as shelltusks, ground sloths, swordtooths and more. The night sky is dominated by the Shadow Moon, a massive celestial object which eclipses the sun daily at noon. Wizards cast spells powered by light, using crystals and prisms to create the colors they need for their sorcery. The world is ancient and full of danger, making it ripe for adventure!
This is a setting I have been working on for a while, and one that I am pretty proud of. It has its own magic system(s), cultures, pantheons, cosmology, wildlife and ecosystems.
Here is a brief introduction document for the world:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1X5onZUbx1oljLjZ0Cuhsj6eWYXDNf1rE3-Iv3mCe69U/edit?usp=sharing

The Game

The game will follow a standard DnD-type formula. You will play as an adventurer, motivated in one way or another to travel, explore, fight evil/kill monsters, etc. I like to run games which focus on immersion, I do my best to make the world feel like a living place, and that your characters are a real part of it. I like to work with players so that their character has some kind of on-going personal story which I can incorporate into the game. I want the players to have time to roleplay conversations and interactions with each other and NPCs that help to build that sense of immersion, even if they aren't completely relevant to whatever the given quest/adventure might be.
I also like to focus a bit on realism (though I try to not be overbearing about it). I'm going to make you track encumbrance, food, arrows, etc. Injuries matter (part of why I like GURPS!)

Logistics

The game will be run in the evenings, after 9 PM EST. Day is TBD but we can figure out what works for the group. The game will use Discord for voice and text communication, and Foundry as the VTT (you dont need an account or anything). It is also really helpful if you can install GCS, a character building software for GURPS which makes the whole process 100x easier.
I can provide access to PDFs for all the rules we'll be using, and like I said before newcomers to GURPS are more than welcome!
If you are interested in joining this game, please fill out this form: https://forms.gle/NzvqRGoUpS7yFogm9
Thanks for reading, and I will reach out to people soon!

Hi,
This is my first time really discussing getting mental health help/talking about what is happening in my life.
I am a young man going into my junior year of college in the fall. On paper, I feel like I shouldn't have any reason to have trouble with my mental health. I was raised in a good family, although my parents divorced when I was young, I am in a fraternity, I have friends, I have a long term girlfriend, and I don't ever really have to worry about money or anything else.
I have noticed a downturn in my mental health for the past couple of years. In the past I dealt with feeling bad (attributed to my first heartbreak) but never got professional help before. Recently I have been feeling an aching sadness in my chest and stomach that seems to appear out of nowhere. I try to be emotionally intelligent and never hold back my emotions with my friends and family, so I feel like my sadnesses never really have the opportunity to build up and burst. Though in recent times I will get hit with waves of sadness out of nowhere. I feel worthless, I feel like I'm nothing, I feel like I don't deserve to be alive. I know that I shouldn't feel these things and that I AM worth something. I feel like I love myself and I shouldn't change anything about me.
Despite my efforts at trying to keep a positive mindset it always feels like I come back to the same feelings of low self-esteem and self-pity. I cannot keep myself from tearing up in the car and I don't understand what is wrong with my own mind. 95% of the time I feel perfect and on top of the world, I'm blessed to live a fortunate life full of love and good relationships. 5% of the time it feels like the world is crashing down on me and I can't do anything. The feelings aren't extremely severe, but I always have motions of feeling like a nobody and I should hate myself. I hate that I'm a people pleaser, I hate that I can't confront people when I should, I just spiral into a series of negative thoughts and recently this has started to affect other aspects of my life.
Today I started feeling a wave of sadness again and I couldn't even kick it when I went out to dinner with my mom and brother. I just don't understand what is wrong with me. When I feel okay again it seems laughable that I even had those issues. I insist that everything is okay in my life and that everyone goes through ups and downs. I don't know what to do anymore. The sadness hits in waves and seems to be random when it comes in periods. I will go months being okay and then spiral down into bad mental health. I feel like my condition isn't serious enough to warrant a diagnosis of anxiety or depression or anything, but I just feel like shit sometimes.
My brain tries to rationalize it by saying that everyone gets sad, but when I get down and have those feelings of low self-worth I cannot seem to get rid of the nagging voice in my head saying I need help. I haven't talked to my parents about this and I have never been to therapy before. I have talked to my girlfriend a little about it but I don't want to burden her. I am completely lost. I want to emphasize again that 95% of the time when I feel no sadness it literally is laughable that I was ever sad in the first place. I don't understand what is happening. Where do I go from here? I am so scared to talk to my parents about going to therapy. I don't even know how to bring it up. I have been very stoic all of my life and am trying to show my emotions more, but my parents have no idea I've been going through this for the past few years.
Over the past two years, I would say I have had probably had 3 1-2 week spirals of "going through the motions." Is this normal? I am lost. When I get down all I know is I feel bad, sometimes it gets to the point where I feel like I don't even deserve to exist, although I know that's not true. Would anybody be able to point me in the direction of what I should do, should I keep going on without getting professional help? Has anyone been in a similar situation? Even now I feel silly for making this post. I don't know why my problems seem so little when I start feeling better. I literally feel like I don't need help at all and I'm just a regular person going through regular emotions once I feel better. Sorry for the ranting/ramble. I appreciate you all for reading if you make it this far. Thank you sincerely
Edit: I guess I want to emphasize again that I've had an approach of talking myself through all of my problems my whole life. I always end up doing okay. When I'm okay I feel like my problems are literally nothing and laughable, they're like what every person goes through in life.

So my ex and I (23f, 25f) broke up a little over 3 months ago. It was really brutal, I was blindsided, but at the same time I hurt her quite a bit as well. We were really toxic towards the end and I genuinely think this was for the best.
Like an hour and a half after we have the breakup conversation, Im at home trying to process things and she texts me a picture of her mom’s dog wearing a kansas city chiefs shirt and says “I fear you would have left me over this anyways” (Context for anyone who doesn’t care about sports, I just straight up don’t like the Chiefs and they were playing in the super bowl again that weekend). I didn’t respond at all and just felt really hurt, we broke up under strange circumstances and I was left feeling like she just didn’t like me and I was resigned to the fact that she didn’t respect me anymore, so getting a joke text within 2 hours of breaking up hurt a lot tbh. Like what was I supposed to say?
Fast forward two days, I didn’t respond to her dumb joke and she texts me at like midnight saying “Im sorry, I’ll learn forgiveness, you were my best friend and I hope we can be friends again” and then says a bunch more stuff the next morning like “We should talk soon”, “nobody understands me like you, I just want to speak with you about this and nobody else but we can’t and it sucks”. My sister and my friends told me to block her but I held strong for some reason. I just couldn’t let go.
Then a few MORE days later I decided to respond with no words, I send her the laundry/taxes meme from Everything Everywhere All at Once, partly because it was sentimental and we did have a really special relationship at one point, and also because lowkey the last thing I dropped off for her was her W-2 and her laundry. She responds saying we should talk soon, and says all kinds of stuff like “I miss you lots”, “Maybe we just need time to be our own people”, “Im still wearing the ring you gave me” (context: It wasn’t a promise ring or engagement ring or anything, just was one of the first birthday presents I ever got her and was one of the first gifts I ever bought someone where I spent real real money on, so it at least meant SOMETHING to us), and a whole bunch of other sentimental stuff, concluding with “Im here whenever you’re ready to speak.” These messages all really hurt me and multiple ppl told me to block her but once again, I just couldn’t bring myself to.
Now, a few more days go by and she texts me about a performance one of our mutual friends’ invited us to. She asked if I was gonna go and said if I was then she would back out. This just bothered me SO MUCH, not only had I forgotten all about this performance and had zero intention of going given the state I was in, but it was just a question that NEEDED an answer, I couldn’t just leave her on read again, right? I responded and kinda showed too much of my feelings and how hurt I was, and we spoke a bit over text. She admitted she handled our breakup inappropriately and also said that marriage was still a possibility for us (Mind you, in our final argument as a couple she pointed at me and goes “Does this even look like marriage material?” which I still think about to this day). It was….jarring. I pretty much clung on to that hope. Then at the end she completely switched her stance and said SHE needed time and that she would let ME know when she was ready for a conversation, saying she needed two weeks.
Fast forward a few weeks, we had been in contact only to exchange our belongings, but she blocked me after I told her she could leave one of my hats in the mailbox if she didnt want to see me. So I message her dad a week later in order to get my things back and get that all sorted. However, one of my friends informed me that she was speaking to a boy in one of her psych courses who had been hitting on her. This kinda sent me down the rabbit hole and I message her dad again asking for some of my stuff back. Mind you, Im still blocked at this point so if I wanted it back, I had to go through him. The thing she still had of mine was my nice pillow which i had given to her to take to her dorm, and even a few days after the breakup she had said stuff like “Im still sleeping on the pillow you gave me” so at this rate I just wanted it back. Her dad immediately assumed I had blocked her and he tried to speak to me like I was his kid and I told him “your daughter is the one who blocked me” and he got really embarrassed. I get unblocked and get my pillow back bc I dont know how youre still sleeping on it while speaking to the first dude that hits on you (Mind you this girl swore she was a lesbian and was always worried I would cheat with a boy). I get the pillow back, she compliments my hair bc I had gotten it done, and we go on our separate ways.
Now, I messaged her a couple more times because I kept finding stuff of hers at my place. Id dropped some of it off at her dad’s place bc he lives in town. Fast forward to my birthday exactly 2 months after we breakup, she texts me at 9pm saying “Happy birthday” and nothing else. Wtf. I didn’t reply and I actually was super lonely on my bday so she was the last person I wanted to hear from.
I think I made the mistake of trying to bring one of her things to her a week later because I was visiting a friend who lived by her campus. This is where I feel she thinks I might be the one trying to drop breadcrumbs. It was super awkward, i just handed her her stuff and she said something completely inaudible but sounded like “take care” or something along those lines. And NOW is where I make the ultimate mistake of asking why that was weird once she got back into her building. She was basically like “im still healing, don’t message me unless theres stuff of mine thatyou have. I dont want to speak to you for a very long time if not ever”. So in 2 months I go from “im here whenever youre ready” to “dont speak to me ever”.
I told her that I am still healing too and dont even want to have a conversation yet, and I make the mistake of asking why she bothered telling me happy birthday if thats how she feels. The response i got from her was “I did it because it would have felt bad not saying anything, I wont say it again next year”. I got blocked permanently a few messages later.
So basically, just go no contact and stick to it. I should have taken my friends advice and blocked her a long time ago, and because I didnt I got my hopes up and got hurt again. Apologies for the long post, but seriously sometimes people just say things because they are emotional and not because they mean them. I held out for hope for way too long.
Apologies for the long ass post

In the Era of Fear I Comfort them with Great Love
Anita Moorjani was cured from cancer not because of a certain medicine, vaccine or chemotherapy. She was cured because of this Great Love. Anita Moorjani is a forty years old woman who is simple and honest. She was born in India, grew up in Singapore and was English educated. Later she went to Hong Kong. She knows Tamil, English and Cantonese. In 2002 the doctor said that she was down with cancer lymphoma or the blood cell tumor. After four years, in 2006 seventy percent of her body is covered with the cancerous cells. She stayed in the hospital, suffering terribly because of this illness. Later the doctor pronounced her death. After three days she woke up and was cured miraculously. This is truly inconceivable when she woke up from her death. In her mind she was very sure she was cured already. No treatment was needed. But she was very weak. She could not even talk. The doctor was surprised of her condition and again they carried out a checking on her body and found that she was free from all symptoms of cancer. In her mind she knew she was already cured. In her mind there was a great transformation that she personally experienced. And all the cells on her body were transformed into healthy cells. Later she wrote a book entitles: After dying once I finally learn to love’ By looking at this title, it coincides with Master Shan Dao’s teaching on the one with deep faith in the dharma. He said, ‘Standing here is waiting to die. Going forward is also death. Turning back, I too cannot escape from death.’ This can be found in the ‘Analogy of two rivers and one white lane’ the three sure deaths. If we have died once, we will truly give ourselves up. This is the same as the Pure Land teaching that we have to admit we are the sinful mundane man. We lose all hope as we have no ways to leave the triple realm. In cultivation we need to really undergo a total death in order to really practise the path. The zen cultivator says this is known as undergoing great death and great living. Otherwise, no real cultivation can be expected because most of us are very arrogant, very self-centred, without much changes in our stubborn mindset. That is why she said after dying once only she managed to learn how to love. In the Pure Land door this is known as having deep faith. Such a man will surely have faith in Amitabha’s 48 vows to gather in living beings without any doubts and suspicion. By relying on the strength of the Buddha’s Vows we will surely attain a rebirth. This is living in the great love of Namo Amitabha Buddha. We receive the love of Amitabha Buddha. Only then we can have the genuine love and we are able to learn to love. If we do not feel the love of Amitabha Buddha, we will not know how to love. Our love will be frightening as it is an attachment, a desire to control, to possess others. Such a love is impure, it is a threat to us. If we are not careful it might turn into hatred. Such is a frightful kind of love. If we learn from Amitabha Buddha, the love is pure, without condition and transparent. This is truly loving a person. It is not easy to learn this. We look at the couples around us. So many got married and end up in divorce. How about those who do not get a divorce? Yes, they spend the whole life fighting！The truly loving couples are as few as the stars in the broad day light. So, learning to love is our homework for the whole life. It is not easy. Today I would like to discuss this passage with you. After reading her writing I feel most shameful as what the author has said is very true in accord with her experience. Even though I have left home for more than twenty years, receiving the teaching of the Buddha, the guidance of the patriarch, the exhortation of my Master, the help of my lotus friends and all, I still feel I am lacking in genuine practice and virtues. On the contrary this lady has not met with the Buddha Dharma. She has such an awakening after dying once, it is truly a gain for her. She said, ‘After my body stopped functioning, I entered into another world.’ She was so seriously ill that her heart, her liver and everything stopped functioning. This is to show there is a world after death. She said, ‘I saw myself as a very wonderful person. This is because I was not terrorised until I had a change in shape.’ ‘I felt there was this vibrant energy around me and I was able to enter it. I realise if a man can see his wonderful existence, he must be the happiest man.’ Most of us like to complain about our imperfect existence. We often think thus, ‘I do not have enough money. I am not healthy. I am not pretty. I do not have enough clothing ….’ Here we must learn to see the good points in us, to appreciate the value of our existence. A woman who can say like this is truly very calm in mind. A man who always complains about himself will not be able to live happily each day. So, without knowing the love of Amitabha for us, we will be a great complainer. We complain about no money, we complain about our look, our wrinkles and so on and so forth. What kind of life will this be with so many complaints? She said, ‘I found that there was this power surrounding me.’ When we pass away, we will no longer be using our eyes, ears, nose, tongue, body and mind to observe. Instead, we will be awakened to our innate Buddha. She felt she is surrounded by this vibrant field of energy and she is also this energy. What kind of power is this? It is a kind of energy. It is always in the universe or the dharma realm in the Buddhist terms. In fact, this is Amitabha Buddha. This is the strength of the Buddha Nature. She uses her Buddha Nature to experience the Buddha Nature. It exists forever. It is neither born nor become extinct. If the Buddha enters the world or does not enter the world, it is always there without changing. Of course, she does not use these Buddhist terms. She said, ‘When I give up the attachment to the mundane world, I enter another world effortlessly. It is unnecessary to pray, to recite a sutra or to give a dharma talk. It is unnecessary to seek forgiveness, repentance or other methods.’ ‘Death gives me the feeling that I do not need to do anything. It is just as though I am telling someone I am coming to the end. I cannot do anything anymore. I give up. Whatever you want to do I will just accept.’ I feel that this passage is very near in meaning to the Pure Land’s view. It means when we die, we have just to let go as nothing can be done anymore. Most people die in torment as there are many attachments in this world. They are worried about their children, money and work. Some people find it difficult to die. So, from here we must learn to let go when it is our turn to leave the world. Moreover, we have the promise from Amitabha Buddha who will come to receive us in accord with the strength of his vows. It is much easier for us. This lady just let go and she entered another world. Her state should be quite high too. I will explain below. I feel that she had arrived at the border of the Pure Land. Her state of an awakened mind showed that she was not in the heaven. She seemed to be enlightened to the Buddha nature and non -existence of a self. She experienced the light of enlightenment and returned to life, to lead a life of love. So, in our practice we are told to let go of all attachment and to wish for a rebirth in the Pure Land relying on Amitabha’s strength of vows. So from here we can see it is very easy to be born in the World of Ultimate Bliss. She said it is unnecessary to recite a sutra, a dharma or seeking for forgiveness. She enters the other world naturally when she simply gives up herself. I remember once I went with my Master to console a dying man. I was very touched by my Master’s words. He said kindly to the man who is on the verge of death, ‘So and so, now we will recite Namo Amitabha Buddha. If you can recite, then recite together. If you can’t, just lay down and relax. It is ok if you just listen to our recitation.’ Are not these words very comforting? The dying man will feel very safe and relax. But if you were to say, ‘So and so, this is the last chance. Bring out all your strength to face death. If you can recite then recite together. If you cannot recite, you must try also!’ On listening to this threat, the sick man is stressed out. He will die instantly as he has no strength to join in recitation. The Master who with his great love understands the rescue of Amitabha Buddha is a natural process that he is able to say in such a comforting way. No condition is needed. There is no threat nor fright in his words. A man who threatens people is not calm as he must be frightened too in his mind. That is why what he says will frighten people, giving stress to others. If we are loving in our mind, our words will only bring love, peace and calm to others. People will feel our love for them. So, this lady says it is unnecessary to read or recite any prayer or seeking forgiveness. This is because the wavelength of her mind is on a par with the great love of the universe. She naturally enters it. Namo Amitabha Buddha is a dharma that requires no seeking or pleading. It is a dharma of rescue without condition. When we recite Namo Amitabha Buddha, the wavelength of our mind is the same as Amitabha Buddha. So, we will attain a rebirth naturally. Many of us who do not understand the kindness of Amitabha Buddha will seek a rebirth by pleading to the Buddha every day. His mind is unsettled and frightened that he might be left out. This is because he does not understand when he recites the Buddha’s name, the wavelength of his mind is in the same frequency with Amitabha Buddha’s mind and vows. Then people will ask, ‘Do we still go to recite the Buddha’s Name for the dying man?’ ‘Yes, of course.’ This is because the dying man has yet to understand this point. When we recite for him, he will be safe in the shine of Namo Amitabha Buddha. This is a method which is bestowed upon us to save us with this Name in accord with the strength of the Buddha’s vows. When she says to somebody, this refers to Amitabha Buddha. She says she cannot do anything anymore and she gives up. She gives herself up to the Buddha. So, when we die do not try to fight with death and refuse to die. We must just admit we are the offender and we need the help of Amitabha Buddha to take us, to rescue us. Namo is to admit we take refuge in the Buddha, we surrender ourselves. When we cultivate this door, we must not add in our ideas. We must just let Amitabha Buddha to decide for us. This is because Amitabha has the power of great vow, the extensive great strength of the Buddha Nature, the strength of immeasurable light, the strength of immeasurable lifespan. We just have to give up all planning. He will plan for us. So, when we recite the Name of the Buddha, just recite without thinking of doing this or that trying so hard to reach a certain acceptable standard. These are all unnecessary. This type of thinking is the habit of the sagely path cultivators. When we sit on the plane, just sit there. The plane will bring you to your destiny. It is unnecessary for you to help the plane to fly. Amitabha Buddha the pilot does not need you to fly the plane. If he needs your help then he is not known as Amitabha Buddha. Anita said, ‘In the other world, I found that my mind is very clear and bright. I realise by myself that I will only die out of the fear and terror in my mind.’ These words are very true. Clarity of mind means her mind is pure. In this world our mind is turbid, dark and deluded. That is why are enveloped in all kinds of worries and terror. But once we arrive at the Pure Land, we will naturally be pure and bright. This is because the land is pure and is enveloped in bright illumination. She said she naturally know she will be cured. This knowing ability is possessed by us originally. No learning is needed because our Buddha nature is originally pure and bright. In the Saha world our ability is being covered up by afflictions. But when we arrive at the World of Ultimate Bliss, we will naturally possess this ability. This ability reappears relying on the strength of Vows of Amitabha Buddha. When we arrive at the Pure Land, we will naturally possess the ability to make offerings to the Buddha. On hearing one sentence we are enlightened to the millions. Our mind is opened up to the thousands of million Dharanis. Everyone of us have this innate ability. And Amitabha Buddha’s strength of Vows enhances its opening. In this Saha World our innate nature is all covered up and cannot function. In the world of ultimate bliss, by relying on Amitabha Buddha’s strength of great vows, our innate ability is open up. So they are not contradicting. ‘I naturally know the source of the thought that I will die. The source is I was frightened. If there is no fear, there is no death.’ In actuality there is no death. It is only our fear of death that this illusion comes froth. In Buddha dharma we should know death itself is an illusion. Time is also an illusion. That is why the Buddha speaks all the Sutra in this manner, ‘Thus have I heard, at one time the Buddha was…..’ No specific time is stated. Now the physics has proven its illusory. As time is an illusion, it does not exist. Let me give you an example of what is meant by death. It is as if we are driving a car into a tunnel. The shape of the tunnel resembles that of a tomb. And we keep on driving into it. We say we are entering the tomb, that we are going to die soon. We are threatened as the entrance represents death. We continue on our journey in the tunnel and later leave the tunnel, again travelling on our way to another destiny. The entrance of the tunnel, the funeral wreath looks like the tomb. For us, death is a terrible idea that we are fearful of it. We do not know life is a continuity and there is no death. It is our wrong concept that there is this section of birth and death. No one can do anything about it until they personally realise it. ‘I am unable to live out my real self as I have too much worried.’ Most of us live in this world wearing a mask. If everyone of us is free to show our real self this is the most beautiful side of a self. Why cannot we live the way we should live? It is because we are always burdened with worries. We are worried we are not good enough. We are worried that our parents will scold us. We are worried our teacher will get angry and criticize us. We are worried about losing face. We only live for others. We lose our life away trying to accord to others’ expectation. We lose the light of a happy life. Our life is controlled by all these worrisome thoughts. But if we truly recite the Buddha’s Name, our mind will be at ease. Amitabha Buddha takes away our worries by replacing them with Namo Amitabha Buddha. We will realise all these worries and views are not important and we will gradually pay no attention to them. Our true life is Buddha recitation. That is our real identity. Our mind will be at ease as we will pay no attention to those unreal things, words and ideas. Our worries only arise when we care too much about the mundane matters. The author has not learnt about Buddhism. This is her experience in death. What she has written is very personal, true experience, not something that we learn from a book. Her experience gives her an awakening to the reality of life and she lives out her life in this awakening. I saw her video and I feel she is an enlightened person. An enlightened person may not be replete with spiritual penetration. But she will reveal her love in her daily living. She is calm at ease and without any sense of fear in her mind. She leads her life in a genuine way. She said, ‘I know that cancer is not a punishment neither is it a retribution. Cancer is my energy capacity which reveals itself on my body. Because of my fear I am unable to reveal the beautiful self in me. And this is the job which should be carried out by me. I know that cancer is not a punishment which is forced on me. It is not an external force of retribution.’ This is what we often do when certain things happen, we will try to find an excuse or put the blame on reward or retribution. We treat the misfortune with anger and hatred. We often have this tendency to catogorise every happening in accord with the cause or reason. In Buddhism we talk about cause and effect. As she is not a Buddhist she says, ‘Cancer appears as a result of a change in my energy capacity. This energy shows itself in the form of cancer.’ This is because she lives in fear and worries. She does not live out her real happy self. So if we the Buddha recitation cultivators are able to reveal the bright side of life, to live without worries, there will be no more cancer for us. This is her understanding about life. That is why I have often said, ‘Lead a life of a mundane man and recite the Buddha’s Name sincerely.’ We should lead a life of Amitabha Buddha. Our life will be full of light and blessings. And we will become more loving. Finally we will lead a comfortable life and people around us will be comfortable also. This itself is the propagation of the dharma of love. Otherwise, if we cannot live a loving life, there is no point talking about anything as they will be useless. Anita said, ‘In that state which is vast and limitless, I found that I am too strict with myself. I keep on whipping myself.’ Can we feel the existence of being vast and limitless? No. We are often limited by our surrounding. As she had entered the limitless vastness, she is able to know her whole life. She knows her fault is being too strict with herself. In fact, most of us are very strict with ourselves, demanding ourselves to be like this or that. She said, ‘No one is punishing me. The person whom I cannot forgive is I myself. I have abandoned myself. I do not love myself. This matter is none of others’ business.’ No one from outside comes to punish us. It is we who punish ourselves. We cannot forgive our selves. We add on a lot of unnecessary locks and chains on ourselves. What is more for us the Buddha reciters? If we recite the Buddha’s name and on the other hand, we add on ourselves lots of locks and chains whence Amitabha Buddha is trying to unlock us, isn’t this a most pitiful situation?’ She said that she had abandoned herself. It means we throw ourselves away and become a lone ranger, an isolated person living a life of sadness, a live without love. Look at a baby. Her eyes are clear as the baby is a simple being, just like a simple puppies or baby cat. The baby can play with chickens, puppis as she does not give rise to diffentiation. Not everyone of us is like Anita. But every one of us can recite the Buddha’s name. When we recite the Buddha’s name, we will be calm. Amitabha Buddha said, ‘In the world of fear I comfort them with great love.’ It is because all the worries are gone when we accomplish Buddhahood at the Pure Land. We will not be so worried about our poverty, health problem, ugliness, stupidity, inability to recite a sutra, a mantra. All these are unimportant as finally I will become a Buddha in the Buddha Land. We will be more humorous. For example, if we are ugly we will use it as a joke. It does not matter at all. Because all the external states are not you. The real self, our real life is the Buddha’s Name. It is our true identity. It will bring ease to our mind. A baby is pure. But as it grows up, it starts to abandon himself. A baby resembles a glass of pure water. When he grows up, his greed starts to accumulate when he wants a toy, a book, good results, money, benefits, fame women and so on. All these are placed in the glass of water. Everything is a piece of mud that we put in out glass. The more we put into the glass, the more the water will flow out. This water is the genuine self. We abandon the true self, chase it out with our greed. We fill ourselves with all the rubbish. The genuine blessings and bliss are chased away. We lead an opaque life without transparency. Our life become a glass of muddy water and we live in great torment. The more we obtain, the more we lose ourselves. That is why the Buddha is truly kind. He and his disciples lead a life of a beggar. When you have nothing, you will be happy and relax. The mind retains its purity. Human beings are deluded as they think to possess a wife, children, a house, a car are called blessings. A man who truly loves himself does not love money, sex, fame, food, sleep. These five desires are the knives that will cut us into pieces and bring on great sufferings. Anita said, ‘I realise I am the child of the beautiful universe. As long as I exist, I will obtain this unconditional love.’ This is very good. I would like to make the following changes, ‘I realize that I am the son of the adorned Amitabha Buddha.’ In Buddhism we use adorned to replace the word beautiful. The universe is this Amitabha Buddha. In the Sutra we are told Amitabha Buddha is the Treasury Body of the Dharma Realm. Amitabha Buddha exists in the whole of the Dharma Realm. Of course, there are also the reward body and transformation bodies beside the dharma body. Amitabha Buddha is the immeasurable wisdom and lifespan. Anita says that the universal energy is abundant and inexhaustible, vast and without limits. This is the existence of the Buddha Nature. She says as long as she exists, she will surely obtain the unconditional love. I often also say, ‘No conditions are required for us to receive the love and rescue of Amitabha Buddha.’ Let us take the analogy of a tree. As long as it exists, it will receive the sunlight. No other condition is needed. So it is the same for the house and everything on earth. Amitabha Buddha’s Name is also known as the Light that Far-surpassing the Sun and Moon. Amitabha Buddha’s light pervasively illumines all the living beings and things in the world. As long as we exist, we will receive the light of the Buddha, the protection of his loving kindness and rescue. It is unnecessary for us to become somebody so as to receive the unconditional rescue of Amitabha Buddha. Our Master Hui Jing also wrote a book on the ‘Unconditional Rescue of the Buddha.’ Some people cannot believe. He says, ‘If this is the case everyone will commit evils.’ Such a thinking is negative and full of fear as his mind is dwelling in darkness. He is afraid that the world will go upside down. He cannot understand that as long as there is the existence, may they be a cat, a dog, a hell being, they will be taken care of by Amitabha Buddha. The only condition is they exist. This reminds me of the words of Great Master Tan Luan, ‘The future scholars who hear about the rescue of the Buddha, the rescue that relies on other’s strength, he should give rise to faith. Do not refuse such a chance. It is being stupid.’ Do not think that you should do this and that to obtain the rescue? Amitabha Buddha did not ask you to do anything. He says, ‘Living beings in the ten directions who have faith in me.’ It means they exist and the Buddha will be there to save them. Buddha recitation is not a condition. It is just a method of saving. Anita says, ‘I do not have to do anything to obtain this love.’ Just like a blade of grass in the water. Does it need to do anything to obtain water? It is unnecessary. As long as it exists, it is surrounded by the water. As long as we exist, we are surrounded by the love of Amitabha Buddha. We do not need to do anything to obtain this love and care. Once we know this, we will be fearless and calm at ease. This is the same as the sunlight which shine on the mountain and also the valley. In our life no matter what level we are we will receive the illumination of Amitabha Buddha. Anita says, ‘No prayer, no seeking is needed.’ Amitabha’s rescue is there always. As long as we recite, we will be saved by him. Amitabha Buddha says, ‘All living beings in the ten directions who call on me will be saved by me. You only have to say out my name.’ You say you are dumb and cannot call the name. Such a man who understands the rescue of Buddha will also be saved even if he cannot pronounce the Name. But if you are unwilling, you are creating an obstacle for yourself. That is why our dharma door is known as the ‘The Dharma is taught without being asked.’, the ‘Befriend us without being asked’. As long as we trust him, he will come personally to take us to his Pure Land. On hearing that nothing is needed to be done, some will be confused. They want to do something, to clean the altar, to change the water, to offer some fruits and incense, to sit in meditation and so on. They think this will help them to attain a rebirth. They have to do something. They do not realise what they need to do is to reveal the beautiful self, to lead the adorned life and let themselves become the love. As long as we sit there and lead a loving life we are in accord with the love of the Buddha Amitabha. When the sun is shining, you say, ‘It is good. A shiny day.’ When it is raining, you say, ‘Very good. It is raining now.’ When it snows, you say, ‘Good, I love snow.’ This way of living is to add the positive loving energy to this universe. You are spreading the pure and harmony energy to the universe. In the Buddha Dharma it is known as the lights shine on one another. The whole universe will receive the positive energy of your loving and harmonious mind. So, what you need to do is to recite Namo Amitabha Budda loudly, softly, silently. All will be ok. If we live this way, Amitabha Buddha will be most happy to see us. It is just like a child who is sleeping in the cradle. Doing nothing. What do you think? Will the mother be happy to see him like that? Yes, of course. She will be very glad with him just sleeping there. Nothing has to be done. A child in the arms of his mother is the revelation of total trust. And this is the same for us to be in the arms of Amitabha Buddha. We just relax and trust him. We will lead a happy life. And this is the genuine way of living in accord with the love of oneself. More often than not we lead a life with worries, fear, twisted emotions and trying to cover up our faults. Our adorned life cannot be revealed. Everyday, we live in fear and worries. This is adding chains and locks to ourselves. Anita says, ‘I have never truly loved myself before. I have never valued my existence. I have never seen the adorned soul in me.’ She uses soul to describe herself. In the Buddha Dharma this refers to the beauty and adorned Buddha Nature. She said, ‘I am so beautiful yet I have never realised it. It is replaced with the hard facts of mundane existence. I decay because I do not understand my beautiful soul.’ In the Buddha Dharma it is described as all living beings are originally the Buddha. Yet we do not live, in accord with our Buddha Nature. We are often controlled by our mundane existence, the salary, the examination results and such like. We forget of our Buddha Nature. We lead a life of decay, a life of erosion. This is the General path of Buddhism. From the angle of Buddha Recitation, the rescue of Amitabha is always with us, only that we do not realise it. We try all kinds of methods hoping for the Buddha to rescue us. We do not know that we just have to admit we are the mundane men who are covered with offences. There is no other way to save ourselves if we do not rely on Amitabha Buddha. Then we let go and recite the Buddha’s Name wholeheartedly. This is the way to be saved by the Buddha. But most people cannot understand this. They want to do something good, to be pretentious and make out something good of himself, to scold people for their lacking in virtues and such like. This is against the practise of this pure land door. Why cannot the people in the world see their pretention? It is because they are also not living a true life. Their eyes are not clear enough to see through this pretention. A fake man sees something fake and he will treat it as genuine. A clear -headed man will surely be able to see through all these false masks. If we were to wear a false mask for too long it will be difficult to remove it. It has grown on to our skin. It will be painful if we want to remove this fake mask. So it takes time for us to loosen this false mask as we have been wearing them for too long. Anita says, ‘This understanding makes me realise that I do not have to be frightened anymore.’ There is no more fear in her mind. It is a mind of calm and bliss. It is a mind which is full of hope. It is a comforting mind that can soothe others. With this calm and happy mind it is already a contribution to all around us. It is already a protection and mindfulness to all around us. We do not have to do anything at all. Most of us live in fear. We pay for insurance because we are afraid when we get old, we have no money, no money to pay the medical fees. We get married out of fear that we will be lonely. Why do we give birth to children? We are afraid no one will take care of us at old age. Why do we go to school? It is because we are afraid of our mother’s anger. Why must we study hard? We are afraid of our teacher. Why do we go to university? We are afraid people will look down on us. Can we live without fear? We cannot. Even our mother who loves us so much say we will suffer if we do not study hard. From our young age we receive the education of fear. We are threatened by our beloved parents, our responsible teachers. We do not receive the education of love. So, if we love our children, do not add fear to them. We must give only love and courage so that they can face life with their original positive energy, positive strength. This is because the world is full of twisted people, fake people, suffering people. There are very few upright men, genuine men, happy and hopeful men around. I only hope all of you my lotus friends will bring up a future generation who is upright, genuine, happy and hopeful with the strength of Amitabha Buddha. So, we must lead a life based on the right values taught by Amitabha Buddha. If we teach our child to fight for self -benefit, to contend with others, we are making them blind so that they do not see the truth of life. This is harming them. If we are enlightened to this, we will only rely on Amitabha Buddha. We are not afraid to be lonely. We will be at ease. Those who see the light, the warmth of the Buddha will no longer be frightened. Anita says, ‘I realise this is a state that can be reached by myself and everyone.’ In Zen sect it is said all living beings are Buddha. In the Buddha recitation door, everyone can recite the Name, everyone can attain a rebirth and everyone can accomplish Buddhahood. This is the bestowment by Amitabha Buddha. All the things that we fight for may not be beneficial to us. Everything that benefits us are often free. For example, the air we take in every instant is free. We do not pay to stand on the earth. We do not pay to look at the sky above. Whatever we fight and earn to get are valueless. Everything that is valuable is free. In the general practice it is said, ‘No cultivation is the cultivation. Nothing is obtainable. This is the state of a bodhisattva. The original face of all dharma often dwells in the mark of still extinction. Our Buddha Nature is replete with all merits and virtues. We cannot cultivate anything to enhance it. This is because all the things that we can do are only dreams, illusion, bubbles and shadow. Whatever that we do, that we create are not in accord with our Buddha Nature. The Buddha Nature is always there, original and shining out naturally. And in our Pure Land Dharma, whatever we have offered, whatever we have done are not the causes for our attainment of a rebirth. Attaining a rebirth is the state of nothing doing. It stays apart from creation or doing. It is a natural state. Reciting Namo Amitabha Buddha helps us to return to this state. Anita said, ‘So I decided to return to the mundane world.’ She has enlightened to the opportunity of life and she decided to come back to tell us about life. Just like many Pure Land cultivators who say that they will not come back any more to sufferings. Yet when they arrive at the Pure Land and brings forth the Bodhi mind, they will come back by themselves to help other beings. Anita said, ‘When I was on the verge of death, I realised the universe comes forth from unconditional love. I am one of the revelations of this love in my present form.’ For the scientists they will say the universe is made from electron, protons, neutrons and so on. This is talking only at the surface level, the materials. But as she talked from her true experienc,e she can see all the things, all the people are the expression of this universal love. When she comes back from death, she deeply penetrates the genuine love the mother universe and her wavelength is in accord with the universal love. She comes back as a healthy woman. So once there is a change in our mind set, the body, the people and the surroundings will also change. In the eyes of Buddha and Bodhisattva there is no differentiation of filth and purity. Everything is pure and adorned in its own expression. Every one of us is the art piece of this unconditional love or in the Buddha’s words, the Buddha Nature. She said, ‘I cannot change into another form as it is my original expression, original nature of this unconditional love.’ Everything that exists is the expression of the Buddha Nature. Even something which is defiled or unwholesome is also part of the expression of this unconditional everlasting love. That is why the Buddha says, ‘All the Dharma from the original state dwells constantly in still extinction.’ Still extinction refers to Nirvana the state of the Buddha. So, when we recite the Buddha’s Name we will enter the Buddha’s dwelling. ‘The energy capacity of the strength of life forms derives from love. And I am made from the universal energy capacity. On knowing this, I realise I do not need to become somebody else. And my true value will not be depreciated too.’ Anita said, So, it is unnecessary for us to become another man. A business man does not need to become Jack Ma. Why is this so? It is because you are equal to him. He is not higher than you. He has the Buddha Nature and you also have the Buddha Nature. Every one is equal. So we do not need to measure in terms of money especially if we truly know the benefits of Buddha recitation. In the eyes of the Buddha every one of us is a shining star. We do not need to chase after another star. Just imagine the havoc it will be when the stars do not dwell in its orbit and try to chase after another star. What a chaos the universe will become. Everyone of our existence is in perfect conditions in the eyes of the Buddha and Bodhisattva. ‘This is the I that I have always wanted to be.’ she said. We must learn to appreciate ourselves, accept ourselves and love ourselves. This ‘I’ is invaluable under the unconditional love of the Rescue of Amitabha Buddha. We are his precious sons, the pearls on his hand. If we are accepted by the Buddha, we will be so happy as we will have no complaint about ourselves. We are often surrounded by people who keep on complaining about us. The first one is our mother who says that we are not clever, we have low marks. We are not filial. We earn too little. See how our mother teaches us not to appreciate ourselves. Then we are blamed by our teacher, our classmates, our girl -friend and so on. Then comes Amitabha Buddha who studies us and says, ‘Put aside all the complaints. You are qualified to attain Buddhahood. No problem at all. I give you 100 percent.’ That is why we Buddha Recitation Practitioners are always at ease under the shine of Amitabha Buddha who give us the confirmation. This is the greatest benefits the Buddha bestows upon us. Buddhism brings hope and bliss to the world, the universe. So, in this life’s time we must try our best to lead a life of Amitabha Buddha. Do not be swayed by the mundane values, mundane eyes, mundane perspective. We rely only on the outlook of the Buddha and Bodhisattva. ‘Once we know that we are this love, it is unnecessary to purposely go forth to shower love on others. As long as we are faithful to our original nature, we will automatically become the tools of love, touching the hearts of everyone who have affinity with us.’ This part of her speech is very good. If we are already the lamp, there is no need for us to go out purposely to shine on others. The lamp just stands at its place and it manages to brighten up the place. So, when we are the LOVE, we will naturally touch those around us with our love. Take a look at our Master Hui Jing. He sits there quietly and yet every one of us are calm and happy naturally. So when we become the love, wherever we are, all will feel calm at ease, without any fear. Anita said, ‘The most important thing I have learnt is I am the Love itself. All my fears are gone. This is the reason I come into life again.’ Amitabha Buddha said, ‘I will transform all the fear into great calmness, great serenity’ When We recite His Name we are charged with his love. We also become the love. We will leave behind all fear. ‘My dear, you will always be loved. You do not need to harbour any fear. There is no way for you to commit any errors.’ Always think about these three sentences. There is the light of truth in it. This is spoken by a non -Buddhist who was on the verge of her death and who lives again. How about us the Buddha Recitation Practitioners? Can we deny the love of Amitabha Buddha, His unconditional love of rescue? From this story we know the unconditional love of rescue of the Buddha pervasively surrounds us. We must have faith in this and lead a life of joy with no more fear. Nowadays, everyone lives in fear. We must learn to replete ourselves with love and bring this shine to others, to lead them out of fear. Love yourself and love others. Namo Amitabha Buddha. A dharma talk by Dharma Master Shi Jing Zong, the Abbot of the Hong Yuan Monastery in Anhui, China entitled: Dying Once to Learn to Love

In the Era of Fear I Comfort them with Great Love
Anita Moorjani was cured from cancer not because of a certain medicine, vaccine or chemotherapy. She was cured because of this Great Love. Anita Moorjani is a forty years old woman who is simple and honest. She was born in India, grew up in Singapore and was English educated. Later she went to Hong Kong. She knows Tamil, English and Cantonese. In 2002 the doctor said that she was down with cancer lymphoma or the blood cell tumor. After four years, in 2006 seventy percent of her body is covered with the cancerous cells. She stayed in the hospital, suffering terribly because of this illness. Later the doctor pronounced her death. After three days she woke up and was cured miraculously. This is truly inconceivable when she woke up from her death. In her mind she was very sure she was cured already. No treatment was needed. But she was very weak. She could not even talk. The doctor was surprised of her condition and again they carried out a checking on her body and found that she was free from all symptoms of cancer. In her mind she knew she was already cured. In her mind there was a great transformation that she personally experienced. And all the cells on her body were transformed into healthy cells. Later she wrote a book entitles: After dying once I finally learn to love’ By looking at this title, it coincides with Master Shan Dao’s teaching on the one with deep faith in the dharma. He said, ‘Standing here is waiting to die. Going forward is also death. Turning back, I too cannot escape from death.’ This can be found in the ‘Analogy of two rivers and one white lane’ the three sure deaths. If we have died once, we will truly give ourselves up. This is the same as the Pure Land teaching that we have to admit we are the sinful mundane man. We lose all hope as we have no ways to leave the triple realm. In cultivation we need to really undergo a total death in order to really practise the path. The zen cultivator says this is known as undergoing great death and great living. Otherwise, no real cultivation can be expected because most of us are very arrogant, very self-centred, without much changes in our stubborn mindset. That is why she said after dying once only she managed to learn how to love. In the Pure Land door this is known as having deep faith. Such a man will surely have faith in Amitabha’s 48 vows to gather in living beings without any doubts and suspicion. By relying on the strength of the Buddha’s Vows we will surely attain a rebirth. This is living in the great love of Namo Amitabha Buddha. We receive the love of Amitabha Buddha. Only then we can have the genuine love and we are able to learn to love. If we do not feel the love of Amitabha Buddha, we will not know how to love. Our love will be frightening as it is an attachment, a desire to control, to possess others. Such a love is impure, it is a threat to us. If we are not careful it might turn into hatred. Such is a frightful kind of love. If we learn from Amitabha Buddha, the love is pure, without condition and transparent. This is truly loving a person. It is not easy to learn this. We look at the couples around us. So many got married and end up in divorce. How about those who do not get a divorce? Yes, they spend the whole life fighting！The truly loving couples are as few as the stars in the broad day light. So, learning to love is our homework for the whole life. It is not easy. Today I would like to discuss this passage with you. After reading her writing I feel most shameful as what the author has said is very true in accord with her experience. Even though I have left home for more than twenty years, receiving the teaching of the Buddha, the guidance of the patriarch, the exhortation of my Master, the help of my lotus friends and all, I still feel I am lacking in genuine practice and virtues. On the contrary this lady has not met with the Buddha Dharma. She has such an awakening after dying once, it is truly a gain for her. She said, ‘After my body stopped functioning, I entered into another world.’ She was so seriously ill that her heart, her liver and everything stopped functioning. This is to show there is a world after death. She said, ‘I saw myself as a very wonderful person. This is because I was not terrorised until I had a change in shape.’ ‘I felt there was this vibrant energy around me and I was able to enter it. I realise if a man can see his wonderful existence, he must be the happiest man.’ Most of us like to complain about our imperfect existence. We often think thus, ‘I do not have enough money. I am not healthy. I am not pretty. I do not have enough clothing ….’ Here we must learn to see the good points in us, to appreciate the value of our existence. A woman who can say like this is truly very calm in mind. A man who always complains about himself will not be able to live happily each day. So, without knowing the love of Amitabha for us, we will be a great complainer. We complain about no money, we complain about our look, our wrinkles and so on and so forth. What kind of life will this be with so many complaints? She said, ‘I found that there was this power surrounding me.’ When we pass away, we will no longer be using our eyes, ears, nose, tongue, body and mind to observe. Instead, we will be awakened to our innate Buddha. She felt she is surrounded by this vibrant field of energy and she is also this energy. What kind of power is this? It is a kind of energy. It is always in the universe or the dharma realm in the Buddhist terms. In fact, this is Amitabha Buddha. This is the strength of the Buddha Nature. She uses her Buddha Nature to experience the Buddha Nature. It exists forever. It is neither born nor become extinct. If the Buddha enters the world or does not enter the world, it is always there without changing. Of course, she does not use these Buddhist terms. She said, ‘When I give up the attachment to the mundane world, I enter another world effortlessly. It is unnecessary to pray, to recite a sutra or to give a dharma talk. It is unnecessary to seek forgiveness, repentance or other methods.’ ‘Death gives me the feeling that I do not need to do anything. It is just as though I am telling someone I am coming to the end. I cannot do anything anymore. I give up. Whatever you want to do I will just accept.’ I feel that this passage is very near in meaning to the Pure Land’s view. It means when we die, we have just to let go as nothing can be done anymore. Most people die in torment as there are many attachments in this world. They are worried about their children, money and work. Some people find it difficult to die. So, from here we must learn to let go when it is our turn to leave the world. Moreover, we have the promise from Amitabha Buddha who will come to receive us in accord with the strength of his vows. It is much easier for us. This lady just let go and she entered another world. Her state should be quite high too. I will explain below. I feel that she had arrived at the border of the Pure Land. Her state of an awakened mind showed that she was not in the heaven. She seemed to be enlightened to the Buddha nature and non -existence of a self. She experienced the light of enlightenment and returned to life, to lead a life of love. So, in our practice we are told to let go of all attachment and to wish for a rebirth in the Pure Land relying on Amitabha’s strength of vows. So from here we can see it is very easy to be born in the World of Ultimate Bliss. She said it is unnecessary to recite a sutra, a dharma or seeking for forgiveness. She enters the other world naturally when she simply gives up herself. I remember once I went with my Master to console a dying man. I was very touched by my Master’s words. He said kindly to the man who is on the verge of death, ‘So and so, now we will recite Namo Amitabha Buddha. If you can recite, then recite together. If you can’t, just lay down and relax. It is ok if you just listen to our recitation.’ Are not these words very comforting? The dying man will feel very safe and relax. But if you were to say, ‘So and so, this is the last chance. Bring out all your strength to face death. If you can recite then recite together. If you cannot recite, you must try also!’ On listening to this threat, the sick man is stressed out. He will die instantly as he has no strength to join in recitation. The Master who with his great love understands the rescue of Amitabha Buddha is a natural process that he is able to say in such a comforting way. No condition is needed. There is no threat nor fright in his words. A man who threatens people is not calm as he must be frightened too in his mind. That is why what he says will frighten people, giving stress to others. If we are loving in our mind, our words will only bring love, peace and calm to others. People will feel our love for them. So, this lady says it is unnecessary to read or recite any prayer or seeking forgiveness. This is because the wavelength of her mind is on a par with the great love of the universe. She naturally enters it. Namo Amitabha Buddha is a dharma that requires no seeking or pleading. It is a dharma of rescue without condition. When we recite Namo Amitabha Buddha, the wavelength of our mind is the same as Amitabha Buddha. So, we will attain a rebirth naturally. Many of us who do not understand the kindness of Amitabha Buddha will seek a rebirth by pleading to the Buddha every day. His mind is unsettled and frightened that he might be left out. This is because he does not understand when he recites the Buddha’s name, the wavelength of his mind is in the same frequency with Amitabha Buddha’s mind and vows. Then people will ask, ‘Do we still go to recite the Buddha’s Name for the dying man?’ ‘Yes, of course.’ This is because the dying man has yet to understand this point. When we recite for him, he will be safe in the shine of Namo Amitabha Buddha. This is a method which is bestowed upon us to save us with this Name in accord with the strength of the Buddha’s vows. When she says to somebody, this refers to Amitabha Buddha. She says she cannot do anything anymore and she gives up. She gives herself up to the Buddha. So, when we die do not try to fight with death and refuse to die. We must just admit we are the offender and we need the help of Amitabha Buddha to take us, to rescue us. Namo is to admit we take refuge in the Buddha, we surrender ourselves. When we cultivate this door, we must not add in our ideas. We must just let Amitabha Buddha to decide for us. This is because Amitabha has the power of great vow, the extensive great strength of the Buddha Nature, the strength of immeasurable light, the strength of immeasurable lifespan. We just have to give up all planning. He will plan for us. So, when we recite the Name of the Buddha, just recite without thinking of doing this or that trying so hard to reach a certain acceptable standard. These are all unnecessary. This type of thinking is the habit of the sagely path cultivators. When we sit on the plane, just sit there. The plane will bring you to your destiny. It is unnecessary for you to help the plane to fly. Amitabha Buddha the pilot does not need you to fly the plane. If he needs your help then he is not known as Amitabha Buddha. Anita said, ‘In the other world, I found that my mind is very clear and bright. I realise by myself that I will only die out of the fear and terror in my mind.’ These words are very true. Clarity of mind means her mind is pure. In this world our mind is turbid, dark and deluded. That is why are enveloped in all kinds of worries and terror. But once we arrive at the Pure Land, we will naturally be pure and bright. This is because the land is pure and is enveloped in bright illumination. She said she naturally know she will be cured. This knowing ability is possessed by us originally. No learning is needed because our Buddha nature is originally pure and bright. In the Saha world our ability is being covered up by afflictions. But when we arrive at the World of Ultimate Bliss, we will naturally possess this ability. This ability reappears relying on the strength of Vows of Amitabha Buddha. When we arrive at the Pure Land, we will naturally possess the ability to make offerings to the Buddha. On hearing one sentence we are enlightened to the millions. Our mind is opened up to the thousands of million Dharanis. Everyone of us have this innate ability. And Amitabha Buddha’s strength of Vows enhances its opening. In this Saha World our innate nature is all covered up and cannot function. In the world of ultimate bliss, by relying on Amitabha Buddha’s strength of great vows, our innate ability is open up. So they are not contradicting. ‘I naturally know the source of the thought that I will die. The source is I was frightened. If there is no fear, there is no death.’ In actuality there is no death. It is only our fear of death that this illusion comes froth. In Buddha dharma we should know death itself is an illusion. Time is also an illusion. That is why the Buddha speaks all the Sutra in this manner, ‘Thus have I heard, at one time the Buddha was…..’ No specific time is stated. Now the physics has proven its illusory. As time is an illusion, it does not exist. Let me give you an example of what is meant by death. It is as if we are driving a car into a tunnel. The shape of the tunnel resembles that of a tomb. And we keep on driving into it. We say we are entering the tomb, that we are going to die soon. We are threatened as the entrance represents death. We continue on our journey in the tunnel and later leave the tunnel, again travelling on our way to another destiny. The entrance of the tunnel, the funeral wreath looks like the tomb. For us, death is a terrible idea that we are fearful of it. We do not know life is a continuity and there is no death. It is our wrong concept that there is this section of birth and death. No one can do anything about it until they personally realise it. ‘I am unable to live out my real self as I have too much worried.’ Most of us live in this world wearing a mask. If everyone of us is free to show our real self this is the most beautiful side of a self. Why cannot we live the way we should live? It is because we are always burdened with worries. We are worried we are not good enough. We are worried that our parents will scold us. We are worried our teacher will get angry and criticize us. We are worried about losing face. We only live for others. We lose our life away trying to accord to others’ expectation. We lose the light of a happy life. Our life is controlled by all these worrisome thoughts. But if we truly recite the Buddha’s Name, our mind will be at ease. Amitabha Buddha takes away our worries by replacing them with Namo Amitabha Buddha. We will realise all these worries and views are not important and we will gradually pay no attention to them. Our true life is Buddha recitation. That is our real identity. Our mind will be at ease as we will pay no attention to those unreal things, words and ideas. Our worries only arise when we care too much about the mundane matters. The author has not learnt about Buddhism. This is her experience in death. What she has written is very personal, true experience, not something that we learn from a book. Her experience gives her an awakening to the reality of life and she lives out her life in this awakening. I saw her video and I feel she is an enlightened person. An enlightened person may not be replete with spiritual penetration. But she will reveal her love in her daily living. She is calm at ease and without any sense of fear in her mind. She leads her life in a genuine way. She said, ‘I know that cancer is not a punishment neither is it a retribution. Cancer is my energy capacity which reveals itself on my body. Because of my fear I am unable to reveal the beautiful self in me. And this is the job which should be carried out by me. I know that cancer is not a punishment which is forced on me. It is not an external force of retribution.’ This is what we often do when certain things happen, we will try to find an excuse or put the blame on reward or retribution. We treat the misfortune with anger and hatred. We often have this tendency to catogorise every happening in accord with the cause or reason. In Buddhism we talk about cause and effect. As she is not a Buddhist she says, ‘Cancer appears as a result of a change in my energy capacity. This energy shows itself in the form of cancer.’ This is because she lives in fear and worries. She does not live out her real happy self. So if we the Buddha recitation cultivators are able to reveal the bright side of life, to live without worries, there will be no more cancer for us. This is her understanding about life. That is why I have often said, ‘Lead a life of a mundane man and recite the Buddha’s Name sincerely.’ We should lead a life of Amitabha Buddha. Our life will be full of light and blessings. And we will become more loving. Finally we will lead a comfortable life and people around us will be comfortable also. This itself is the propagation of the dharma of love. Otherwise, if we cannot live a loving life, there is no point talking about anything as they will be useless. Anita said, ‘In that state which is vast and limitless, I found that I am too strict with myself. I keep on whipping myself.’ Can we feel the existence of being vast and limitless? No. We are often limited by our surrounding. As she had entered the limitless vastness, she is able to know her whole life. She knows her fault is being too strict with herself. In fact, most of us are very strict with ourselves, demanding ourselves to be like this or that. She said, ‘No one is punishing me. The person whom I cannot forgive is I myself. I have abandoned myself. I do not love myself. This matter is none of others’ business.’ No one from outside comes to punish us. It is we who punish ourselves. We cannot forgive our selves. We add on a lot of unnecessary locks and chains on ourselves. What is more for us the Buddha reciters? If we recite the Buddha’s name and on the other hand, we add on ourselves lots of locks and chains whence Amitabha Buddha is trying to unlock us, isn’t this a most pitiful situation?’ She said that she had abandoned herself. It means we throw ourselves away and become a lone ranger, an isolated person living a life of sadness, a live without love. Look at a baby. Her eyes are clear as the baby is a simple being, just like a simple puppies or baby cat. The baby can play with chickens, puppis as she does not give rise to diffentiation. Not everyone of us is like Anita. But every one of us can recite the Buddha’s name. When we recite the Buddha’s name, we will be calm. Amitabha Buddha said, ‘In the world of fear I comfort them with great love.’ It is because all the worries are gone when we accomplish Buddhahood at the Pure Land. We will not be so worried about our poverty, health problem, ugliness, stupidity, inability to recite a sutra, a mantra. All these are unimportant as finally I will become a Buddha in the Buddha Land. We will be more humorous. For example, if we are ugly we will use it as a joke. It does not matter at all. Because all the external states are not you. The real self, our real life is the Buddha’s Name. It is our true identity. It will bring ease to our mind. A baby is pure. But as it grows up, it starts to abandon himself. A baby resembles a glass of pure water. When he grows up, his greed starts to accumulate when he wants a toy, a book, good results, money, benefits, fame women and so on. All these are placed in the glass of water. Everything is a piece of mud that we put in out glass. The more we put into the glass, the more the water will flow out. This water is the genuine self. We abandon the true self, chase it out with our greed. We fill ourselves with all the rubbish. The genuine blessings and bliss are chased away. We lead an opaque life without transparency. Our life become a glass of muddy water and we live in great torment. The more we obtain, the more we lose ourselves. That is why the Buddha is truly kind. He and his disciples lead a life of a beggar. When you have nothing, you will be happy and relax. The mind retains its purity. Human beings are deluded as they think to possess a wife, children, a house, a car are called blessings. A man who truly loves himself does not love money, sex, fame, food, sleep. These five desires are the knives that will cut us into pieces and bring on great sufferings. Anita said, ‘I realise I am the child of the beautiful universe. As long as I exist, I will obtain this unconditional love.’ This is very good. I would like to make the following changes, ‘I realize that I am the son of the adorned Amitabha Buddha.’ In Buddhism we use adorned to replace the word beautiful. The universe is this Amitabha Buddha. In the Sutra we are told Amitabha Buddha is the Treasury Body of the Dharma Realm. Amitabha Buddha exists in the whole of the Dharma Realm. Of course, there are also the reward body and transformation bodies beside the dharma body. Amitabha Buddha is the immeasurable wisdom and lifespan. Anita says that the universal energy is abundant and inexhaustible, vast and without limits. This is the existence of the Buddha Nature. She says as long as she exists, she will surely obtain the unconditional love. I often also say, ‘No conditions are required for us to receive the love and rescue of Amitabha Buddha.’ Let us take the analogy of a tree. As long as it exists, it will receive the sunlight. No other condition is needed. So it is the same for the house and everything on earth. Amitabha Buddha’s Name is also known as the Light that Far-surpassing the Sun and Moon. Amitabha Buddha’s light pervasively illumines all the living beings and things in the world. As long as we exist, we will receive the light of the Buddha, the protection of his loving kindness and rescue. It is unnecessary for us to become somebody so as to receive the unconditional rescue of Amitabha Buddha. Our Master Hui Jing also wrote a book on the ‘Unconditional Rescue of the Buddha.’ Some people cannot believe. He says, ‘If this is the case everyone will commit evils.’ Such a thinking is negative and full of fear as his mind is dwelling in darkness. He is afraid that the world will go upside down. He cannot understand that as long as there is the existence, may they be a cat, a dog, a hell being, they will be taken care of by Amitabha Buddha. The only condition is they exist. This reminds me of the words of Great Master Tan Luan, ‘The future scholars who hear about the rescue of the Buddha, the rescue that relies on other’s strength, he should give rise to faith. Do not refuse such a chance. It is being stupid.’ Do not think that you should do this and that to obtain the rescue? Amitabha Buddha did not ask you to do anything. He says, ‘Living beings in the ten directions who have faith in me.’ It means they exist and the Buddha will be there to save them. Buddha recitation is not a condition. It is just a method of saving. Anita says, ‘I do not have to do anything to obtain this love.’ Just like a blade of grass in the water. Does it need to do anything to obtain water? It is unnecessary. As long as it exists, it is surrounded by the water. As long as we exist, we are surrounded by the love of Amitabha Buddha. We do not need to do anything to obtain this love and care. Once we know this, we will be fearless and calm at ease. This is the same as the sunlight which shine on the mountain and also the valley. In our life no matter what level we are we will receive the illumination of Amitabha Buddha. Anita says, ‘No prayer, no seeking is needed.’ Amitabha’s rescue is there always. As long as we recite, we will be saved by him. Amitabha Buddha says, ‘All living beings in the ten directions who call on me will be saved by me. You only have to say out my name.’ You say you are dumb and cannot call the name. Such a man who understands the rescue of Buddha will also be saved even if he cannot pronounce the Name. But if you are unwilling, you are creating an obstacle for yourself. That is why our dharma door is known as the ‘The Dharma is taught without being asked.’, the ‘Befriend us without being asked’. As long as we trust him, he will come personally to take us to his Pure Land. On hearing that nothing is needed to be done, some will be confused. They want to do something, to clean the altar, to change the water, to offer some fruits and incense, to sit in meditation and so on. They think this will help them to attain a rebirth. They have to do something. They do not realise what they need to do is to reveal the beautiful self, to lead the adorned life and let themselves become the love. As long as we sit there and lead a loving life we are in accord with the love of the Buddha Amitabha. When the sun is shining, you say, ‘It is good. A shiny day.’ When it is raining, you say, ‘Very good. It is raining now.’ When it snows, you say, ‘Good, I love snow.’ This way of living is to add the positive loving energy to this universe. You are spreading the pure and harmony energy to the universe. In the Buddha Dharma it is known as the lights shine on one another. The whole universe will receive the positive energy of your loving and harmonious mind. So, what you need to do is to recite Namo Amitabha Budda loudly, softly, silently. All will be ok. If we live this way, Amitabha Buddha will be most happy to see us. It is just like a child who is sleeping in the cradle. Doing nothing. What do you think? Will the mother be happy to see him like that? Yes, of course. She will be very glad with him just sleeping there. Nothing has to be done. A child in the arms of his mother is the revelation of total trust. And this is the same for us to be in the arms of Amitabha Buddha. We just relax and trust him. We will lead a happy life. And this is the genuine way of living in accord with the love of oneself. More often than not we lead a life with worries, fear, twisted emotions and trying to cover up our faults. Our adorned life cannot be revealed. Everyday, we live in fear and worries. This is adding chains and locks to ourselves. Anita says, ‘I have never truly loved myself before. I have never valued my existence. I have never seen the adorned soul in me.’ She uses soul to describe herself. In the Buddha Dharma this refers to the beauty and adorned Buddha Nature. She said, ‘I am so beautiful yet I have never realised it. It is replaced with the hard facts of mundane existence. I decay because I do not understand my beautiful soul.’ In the Buddha Dharma it is described as all living beings are originally the Buddha. Yet we do not live, in accord with our Buddha Nature. We are often controlled by our mundane existence, the salary, the examination results and such like. We forget of our Buddha Nature. We lead a life of decay, a life of erosion. This is the General path of Buddhism. From the angle of Buddha Recitation, the rescue of Amitabha is always with us, only that we do not realise it. We try all kinds of methods hoping for the Buddha to rescue us. We do not know that we just have to admit we are the mundane men who are covered with offences. There is no other way to save ourselves if we do not rely on Amitabha Buddha. Then we let go and recite the Buddha’s Name wholeheartedly. This is the way to be saved by the Buddha. But most people cannot understand this. They want to do something good, to be pretentious and make out something good of himself, to scold people for their lacking in virtues and such like. This is against the practise of this pure land door. Why cannot the people in the world see their pretention? It is because they are also not living a true life. Their eyes are not clear enough to see through this pretention. A fake man sees something fake and he will treat it as genuine. A clear -headed man will surely be able to see through all these false masks. If we were to wear a false mask for too long it will be difficult to remove it. It has grown on to our skin. It will be painful if we want to remove this fake mask. So it takes time for us to loosen this false mask as we have been wearing them for too long. Anita says, ‘This understanding makes me realise that I do not have to be frightened anymore.’ There is no more fear in her mind. It is a mind of calm and bliss. It is a mind which is full of hope. It is a comforting mind that can soothe others. With this calm and happy mind it is already a contribution to all around us. It is already a protection and mindfulness to all around us. We do not have to do anything at all. Most of us live in fear. We pay for insurance because we are afraid when we get old, we have no money, no money to pay the medical fees. We get married out of fear that we will be lonely. Why do we give birth to children? We are afraid no one will take care of us at old age. Why do we go to school? It is because we are afraid of our mother’s anger. Why must we study hard? We are afraid of our teacher. Why do we go to university? We are afraid people will look down on us. Can we live without fear? We cannot. Even our mother who loves us so much say we will suffer if we do not study hard. From our young age we receive the education of fear. We are threatened by our beloved parents, our responsible teachers. We do not receive the education of love. So, if we love our children, do not add fear to them. We must give only love and courage so that they can face life with their original positive energy, positive strength. This is because the world is full of twisted people, fake people, suffering people. There are very few upright men, genuine men, happy and hopeful men around. I only hope all of you my lotus friends will bring up a future generation who is upright, genuine, happy and hopeful with the strength of Amitabha Buddha. So, we must lead a life based on the right values taught by Amitabha Buddha. If we teach our child to fight for self -benefit, to contend with others, we are making them blind so that they do not see the truth of life. This is harming them. If we are enlightened to this, we will only rely on Amitabha Buddha. We are not afraid to be lonely. We will be at ease. Those who see the light, the warmth of the Buddha will no longer be frightened. Anita says, ‘I realise this is a state that can be reached by myself and everyone.’ In Zen sect it is said all living beings are Buddha. In the Buddha recitation door, everyone can recite the Name, everyone can attain a rebirth and everyone can accomplish Buddhahood. This is the bestowment by Amitabha Buddha. All the things that we fight for may not be beneficial to us. Everything that benefits us are often free. For example, the air we take in every instant is free. We do not pay to stand on the earth. We do not pay to look at the sky above. Whatever we fight and earn to get are valueless. Everything that is valuable is free. In the general practice it is said, ‘No cultivation is the cultivation. Nothing is obtainable. This is the state of a bodhisattva. The original face of all dharma often dwells in the mark of still extinction. Our Buddha Nature is replete with all merits and virtues. We cannot cultivate anything to enhance it. This is because all the things that we can do are only dreams, illusion, bubbles and shadow. Whatever that we do, that we create are not in accord with our Buddha Nature. The Buddha Nature is always there, original and shining out naturally. And in our Pure Land Dharma, whatever we have offered, whatever we have done are not the causes for our attainment of a rebirth. Attaining a rebirth is the state of nothing doing. It stays apart from creation or doing. It is a natural state. Reciting Namo Amitabha Buddha helps us to return to this state. Anita said, ‘So I decided to return to the mundane world.’ She has enlightened to the opportunity of life and she decided to come back to tell us about life. Just like many Pure Land cultivators who say that they will not come back any more to sufferings. Yet when they arrive at the Pure Land and brings forth the Bodhi mind, they will come back by themselves to help other beings. Anita said, ‘When I was on the verge of death, I realised the universe comes forth from unconditional love. I am one of the revelations of this love in my present form.’ For the scientists they will say the universe is made from electron, protons, neutrons and so on. This is talking only at the surface level, the materials. But as she talked from her true experienc,e she can see all the things, all the people are the expression of this universal love. When she comes back from death, she deeply penetrates the genuine love the mother universe and her wavelength is in accord with the universal love. She comes back as a healthy woman. So once there is a change in our mind set, the body, the people and the surroundings will also change. In the eyes of Buddha and Bodhisattva there is no differentiation of filth and purity. Everything is pure and adorned in its own expression. Every one of us is the art piece of this unconditional love or in the Buddha’s words, the Buddha Nature. She said, ‘I cannot change into another form as it is my original expression, original nature of this unconditional love.’ Everything that exists is the expression of the Buddha Nature. Even something which is defiled or unwholesome is also part of the expression of this unconditional everlasting love. That is why the Buddha says, ‘All the Dharma from the original state dwells constantly in still extinction.’ Still extinction refers to Nirvana the state of the Buddha. So, when we recite the Buddha’s Name we will enter the Buddha’s dwelling. ‘The energy capacity of the strength of life forms derives from love. And I am made from the universal energy capacity. On knowing this, I realise I do not need to become somebody else. And my true value will not be depreciated too.’ Anita said, So, it is unnecessary for us to become another man. A business man does not need to become Jack Ma. Why is this so? It is because you are equal to him. He is not higher than you. He has the Buddha Nature and you also have the Buddha Nature. Every one is equal. So we do not need to measure in terms of money especially if we truly know the benefits of Buddha recitation. In the eyes of the Buddha every one of us is a shining star. We do not need to chase after another star. Just imagine the havoc it will be when the stars do not dwell in its orbit and try to chase after another star. What a chaos the universe will become. Everyone of our existence is in perfect conditions in the eyes of the Buddha and Bodhisattva. ‘This is the I that I have always wanted to be.’ she said. We must learn to appreciate ourselves, accept ourselves and love ourselves. This ‘I’ is invaluable under the unconditional love of the Rescue of Amitabha Buddha. We are his precious sons, the pearls on his hand. If we are accepted by the Buddha, we will be so happy as we will have no complaint about ourselves. We are often surrounded by people who keep on complaining about us. The first one is our mother who says that we are not clever, we have low marks. We are not filial. We earn too little. See how our mother teaches us not to appreciate ourselves. Then we are blamed by our teacher, our classmates, our girl -friend and so on. Then comes Amitabha Buddha who studies us and says, ‘Put aside all the complaints. You are qualified to attain Buddhahood. No problem at all. I give you 100 percent.’ That is why we Buddha Recitation Practitioners are always at ease under the shine of Amitabha Buddha who give us the confirmation. This is the greatest benefits the Buddha bestows upon us. Buddhism brings hope and bliss to the world, the universe. So, in this life’s time we must try our best to lead a life of Amitabha Buddha. Do not be swayed by the mundane values, mundane eyes, mundane perspective. We rely only on the outlook of the Buddha and Bodhisattva. ‘Once we know that we are this love, it is unnecessary to purposely go forth to shower love on others. As long as we are faithful to our original nature, we will automatically become the tools of love, touching the hearts of everyone who have affinity with us.’ This part of her speech is very good. If we are already the lamp, there is no need for us to go out purposely to shine on others. The lamp just stands at its place and it manages to brighten up the place. So, when we are the LOVE, we will naturally touch those around us with our love. Take a look at our Master Hui Jing. He sits there quietly and yet every one of us are calm and happy naturally. So when we become the love, wherever we are, all will feel calm at ease, without any fear. Anita said, ‘The most important thing I have learnt is I am the Love itself. All my fears are gone. This is the reason I come into life again.’ Amitabha Buddha said, ‘I will transform all the fear into great calmness, great serenity’ When We recite His Name we are charged with his love. We also become the love. We will leave behind all fear. ‘My dear, you will always be loved. You do not need to harbour any fear. There is no way for you to commit any errors.’ Always think about these three sentences. There is the light of truth in it. This is spoken by a non -Buddhist who was on the verge of her death and who lives again. How about us the Buddha Recitation Practitioners? Can we deny the love of Amitabha Buddha, His unconditional love of rescue? From this story we know the unconditional love of rescue of the Buddha pervasively surrounds us. We must have faith in this and lead a life of joy with no more fear. Nowadays, everyone lives in fear. We must learn to replete ourselves with love and bring this shine to others, to lead them out of fear. Love yourself and love others. Namo Amitabha Buddha. A dharma talk by Dharma Master Shi Jing Zong, the Abbot of the Hong Yuan Monastery in Anhui, China entitled: Dying Once to Learn to Love

I've been playing the game since a couple of years back (I think) and have over 100 or so hours, and I absolutely love it. However, three or so months ago I was about to start up the game when I got the EULA. I was like "oh, cool, they're more official now" and started reading through it. It just feels so screwed that they'd write something like it, considering that they're a small company. I stopped playing the game, uninstalled it, and forgot about it, and just now I went to redownload it, thinking that it may not have been as bad as I initially thought it was...
To summarize the parts of the EULA that really annoy me:

• You don't own the game, you buy the license to play it from them and they can revoke it at any time, for any, or no, reason.
• You're not allowed to make money off of any videos you make of the game unless you've "added enough of your own content" which would be "for example commentary," which is sort of understandable, I guess, but they also outline that they can take any and all footage down for showing "hacking, cheating, or any other distasteful, obscene, or unlawful behavior." What constitutes as "cheating," "hacking," or "distasteful?" It's entirely subjective!
• That's not even the worst part, if you find a glitch and "exploit any bugs or mistakes which appear within the game or any of the services associated with the game" they can straight up revoke your license, which means you can't play the game. It just pisses me off, my favorite part of the game was that it was janky. I could play it seriously, or go explore out of bounds if I find any way to get outside the map. Also the cheating rule... What, are they gonna rip my ability to play the game just because I use cheat engine to explore the map, get items / coins, or infinite health in singleplayer? I'm a strong believer of the "your game, your rules" motto, so it really frustrates me, but I also apparently don't own the game anymore so I guess that's out the window. If they should ever see this; people reverse engineer games and "cheat" because they want to see it all, they do it because they love the game. This is ridiculous.
• They also outline that they're allowed to collect data of your game activity as well as steam ID number to "improve your game experience," this is the least maddening one of them all, but it still feels weird that they'd even want that data. What are they gonna do with it, see that I play COD and implement guns into the game?

The other parts of the EULA are more understandable, there's a small PSA warning about telling others your personal info, there's also parts that are there specifically to protect people who play with others online or to stop pirates, though they should know pirating is a service issue. It's not something they can stop with a EULA, pirates will do it anyway. Also, yeah, I know someone's gonna say "just dont play the gaem!!11!!" and that's what I've done, but I feel slightly betrayed here as the consumer, and an enjoyer of the game.
Which leads me to this question, which is also the title of the post: Has anyone else read through the EULA? Is anyone else as annoyed by it, and does anyone else disagree with some of it?

Online/ anywhere is fine too. Just looking to make a genuine connection!
About me:

• Bachelors and Masters degree
• Great career. Own my house and cars.

About you: - Educated - Fun - Flirty - No games
I’m not really interested in anyone that’s going to make people jump through hoops, just to play games. Be real, be genuine too.
Interests:

• sports
• concerts
• science
• anything outdoors -gardening -home projects
• reading, movies and tv
• trivia
• politics
• history
• birding

**What will you be doing with this PC? Be as specific as possible, and include specific games or programs you will be using.**

* Heavy 1440p Gaming (Modded KSP, Cyberpunk 2077, Sniper Elite 5). My goal is to get 120fps on High or Ultra settings, depending on the game. Ability to stream games is a plus, but not required.

**What is your maximum budget before rebates/shipping/taxes?**

* USD$1,850

**When do you plan on building/buying the PC? Note: beyond a week or two from today means any build you receive will be out of date when you want to buy.**

* Later in the year. I don't plan on getting the latest tech, as long as it performs well. Ryzen 7000 and RX 7000 should be enough for my needs.

**What, exactly, do you need included in the budget? (ToweOS/monitokeyboard/mouse/etc\)**

* The Tower, OS, and a UPS System. If the budget gets too tight, you can forgo the UPS System.

**Which country (and state/province) will you be purchasing the parts in? If you're in US, do you have access to a Microcenter location?**

* East Coast of the US. I have access to a Micro Center location.

**If reusing any parts (including monitor(s)/keyboard/mouse/etc), what parts will you be reusing? Brands and models are appreciated.**

* I'll be reusing two LG Ultragear 27GL83A monitors, an Everest Max Keyboard, and a Corsair Scimitar Elite Wireless

**Will you be overclocking? If yes, are you interested in overclocking right away, or down the line? CPU and/or GPU?**

* No Overclocking

**Are there any specific features or items you want/need in the build? (ex: SSD, large amount of storage or a RAID setup, CUDA or OpenCL support, etc)**

* I have a NAS, so having a fast USB or Ethernet port would be nice.

**Do you have any specific case preferences (Size like ITX/microATX/mid-towefull-tower, styles, colors, window or not, LED lighting, etc), or a particular color theme preference for the components?**

* I specifically want the Cooler Master NCORE 100 MAX as the case. I prefer minimal RGB, but I'm unopposed to some basic accent lighting.

**Do you need a copy of Windows included in the budget? If you do need one included, do you have a preference?**

* Yes, a copy of Windows 11 Home.

Is this a brand new build, or an upgrade to an existing build?

* Brand-New PC.

Please list any existing parts or monitor(s) you have that you would like to re-use with this build. For upgrades, a PCPartPicker list of your full build is extremely helpful. Be as specific as you can be here, including links or exact model numbers of each component whenever possible.

* 2 LG Ultragear 27GL83A monitors, an Everest Max Keyboard, and a Corsair Scimitar Elite Wireless

What will this PC be used for? Examples include things like gaming, general/multimedia use, photo/video editing, coding, AI/ML, etc. Include specific games and applications you intend to run, and any particular performance goals you have, as each may have different specific hardware needs.

* Mainly gaming, but I'll also use it for general purpose/multimedia. I frequently have YouTube on Auto-play while I'm gaming.

What country will you be purchasing in? If you are in the US, do you live near a Micro Center? For other countries, please check if your country is supported by PCPartPicker by using the country selector dropdown on the top right - if not, please provide some links to reliable local vendors you are comfortable ordering from.

* East Cost of the US. I have access to a Micro Center Location, but their in-store selection is lacking. I'm perfectly fine with ordering parts online.

Do you need one or more monitors included in the budget? Please list how many and any size/resolution/refresh rate preferences if needed.

* Nope, already have the monitors.

What is your preferred and maximum budget range for this build, in local currency? Parts lists may sometimes have additional shipping costs. Please note whether prices in your country include sales tax or not, and adjust your budget accordingly. Typically VAT countries will have it included in the part list prices, whereas regular sales tax countries like the US and Canada will not.

* Preferred Budget is USD$1,500, but I'm willing to spend up to USD$1,850 if I'd be getting my money's worth.

Do you need WiFi, or do you have a wired ethernet connection available?

* I need WiFi (My network supports WiFi 6E), but I could also make use of an ethernet connection (I have a NAS).

Do you have any specific size or noise requirements for the build?

* As long as it fits in the case, it's good. I'm used to the noise of a gaming laptop, so as long as the PC isn't deafening while under load, it's good enough for me.

Do you have any aesthetic preferences for color or lighting? Describe what you're looking for, or feel free to provide some links to examples that may help. Some people prefer an inobtrusive stealth build, while others may prefer a case full of rainbow RGB.

* I prefer no/minimal RGB. I want the performance to speak for itself, but some subtle accent lighting isn't a dealbreaker

Any other specific requests or requirements? Examples might include a specific minimum amount of storage, or a particular CPU socket for a future upgrade path, etc.

* AM5 Socket is required, I'm kinda scared of using Intel bc of their instability. 2TB of storage is enough for me.

I'm a 31yo M with borderline personality disorder. I got dumped two months ago and lost my job a few weeks after that.
This period has solidified my thoughts on this.
Nobody loves a weakling. Nobody wants to deal with your emotions. If you show people vulnerability they see you as weak and annoying.
I feel cursed to love and need people more than they need me. I'm so fucking tired.
I feel like a burden. I just want to be loved how I love. Have someone that needs me the way I need them. But it's like my existence is a punishment.
My life from the outside doesn't seem so bad. I'm tall, in shape, handsome, skilled at a lot of things, I box, work on cars, play guitar, I'm artistic, I've always been independent, no problem getting girls, etc.
But inside I'm insecure and weak. I just want to be loved, held, cherished. And whenever I finally get into a relationship and let my guard down I get hurt. And for me breakups are like hell.
I've lost 30lbs since March. I lost my job. I have no joy doing anything. The only thing I do is go to the gym. I've been cutting again. I was just in CVS looking for sleeping pills to take and googling shit I could get OTC to off myself.
It's pathetic that if my ex came back I'd probably be ok. I should just be able to live on my own but I'm cursed to need someone else's love to feel anything other than crippling emptiness.
Sorry for the rant. I'm barely hanging on right now

Hi. This is a throwaway.
I'm not sure what information to include but basically I have a toddler with a man I am not married to but have been living with (even broken up) for a couple years and dated for roughly 4-5 years. I am 25f and he is 34m. We have not been together romantically or sexually for about a year or more but have been living together for both convenience and for our toddler.
However, I am coming to this realization that he is incredibly abusive, physically, emotionally, even financially. I desperatelyneed to leave this man. He is not a danger to our toddler and he is a great dad but a horrible partner. He has other kids that he doesnt have custody of and does not see often at all and it upsets him greatly. Because of this, anytime we fight or i mention leaving him he goes off about how he wont let me take his kid like the other women did and thatll be the biggest mistake i ever make. I dont believe hed actually hurt me but i do see it as a threat and i know hed say anything to make me look bad.
I'm okay with him seeing our child obviously because this is his child, as well, but I'm scared of leaving him and trying to keep full custody of our child. He's not incompetent or anything but I'm not fond of him making decisions for our child or our child staying wih him overnight if he's living with his family.
This is a point where I'm concerned. If we live separately he will move in with his family and he has a family member that is severely mentally disabled. I worry that this borders on seeming ableist but please hear me out. This person is a man in his 20s but is at a point mentally where he cannot possibly care for himself. He cannot speak in sentences, only uses 2 word sentences if that, cannot use rhe toilet, etc. I say this not to shame any persom involved but to stress that he literally can never live on his own. He also has some issues with anger where he has attacked his mother physically and bruised her up, all she could do was hold her arms up until he calmed down. He also does not understand personal boundaries and... really likes women. He has actually pulled my pants and grabbed my v*gina before and constantly sneaks into bed with you if you stay over. He is not good at playing with kids because hes still a grown man amd not a child so hes rough and can get tempermental. He also runs away very often, leading them to makeshift their own special way of locking their doors which makes it impossible to exit the home quickly in case of danger as the only key is in one specific spot. This wouldn't be the worst thing except he also has a lengthy history of setting things on fire. He has burned down one of their homes and has set several fires in their current home and other homes as well.
Ik this is long but what I'm trying to stress or say is that I know if we live separately my child's father will fight me and try to take him, he has threatened to call cps on me for painting our childs nails, my family's house being dirty, me being mentally unwell (I miraculously feel great when he's not around), etc. I also know that he will want our child living with him but I do not, under absolutely any circumstances, want my toddler staying the night in that house and I also know that house is where my child's father will be staying when we live separately. Idk if this is making sense or is easy to follow but I hope you all get my point. He will want him, he will be in that house, that house is so unsafe to sleep in, visiting is something entirely different but my toddler will not stay in that house overnight with every adult asleep except for the one person who likes fire a little too much.
I need advice on what I can even do when all of this inevitably happens. I can't say to my child's father he can't stay the night bc of his family member or he and his family will freak out as they are (understandably) very hypersensitive about this family member.
Is there any possible way I can have some kind of legal understanding that my child can't stay there overnight ever but he can obviously stay with his dad when he gets his own place somewhere.
I also was wanting any general advice or knowledge on my rights as a mom in Texas and if him saying I'm "unstable" will make anything much more difficult.
Edit to add
If any resources are available online please point me to them. I am currently without a job and he has the car and job. I am stuck at the house were currently living in 24/7 unless I manage to convince him to let me make a trip to the local dollar store. I don't have a lot of options for visiting anyone else immediately but am hoping I'd be able to once we are separated somehow. We can't afford daycare so full time child care is on me, hence why I can't keep a job. I had a parttime job but was unable to save any of my checks and the full time job started early in the day and my child's father called me and texted me every morning about me needing to quit and come home because he couldn't deal with our son crying for me in the mornings. So I'm currently without money, a job, or a car. However I'm trying to look into certifications that may lead to wfh jobs, daycare options, and I did just graduate with a bachelor's degree.

I noticed a lack of power a few months ago but it was not throwing a code. Then if I went to accelerate quickly the engine light would blink and the car would go into limp mode. I installed new fuel injectors, coil packs, spark plugs, got a new battery. I got the car from a used lot and it clearly just has been neglected in the past. I also replaced the vtec system and both oil pressure sensors from the Honda bulletin because that had also clearly never been done. Would crank and then fly to 3000 rpm then cut off. Replaced the fuel pump and separator. Also replaced the throttle body and the EGR valve. When I played with wires I accidentally fried the ECU. I swapped it for a used one and bypassed the immobilizer. My mass air flow sensor was also toasted so I replaced that. It will not run with the mass airflow sensor plugged in. Not sure if the years of neglect from before I owned this car are finally catching up to it or if I'm just missing something obvious. When hooking it up to a code reader it's not reading any egr system. Any ideas would be helpful.

The context: built my own PC and didn't realize that headphone jacks cannot double as microphone jacks. So my wired headphone set would receive audio but I could not speak into it. I tried using my bluetooth headset, but there is an egregious amount of feedback and echo.
Now: In the past I have been able to set my wired headphones as my audio output and communications output with my bluetooth headset connected as a mic.
I have not gamed in a while, so I had to update some video drivers and an intel bluetooth drive. Now my mic is only recognized if I have everything set to the bluetooth set AND there is audio playing elsewhere.
For instance if I try to test my mic alone, it will not read. However, if I have Youtube playing in the background it will read. If I have Youtube running and switch the audio out to my wired headphones, the mic will not respond at all.
I have reset drivers, uninstalled/reinstalled the Intel Wireless bluetooth, and played with all of the sound settings both in Settings and the Taskbar.
Wired Headphones: Steel Series Arctis 1
Wireless headset: Powerbeats 3
PC: Windows 10, OS Build 19045.4412, 64bit

Call me the Memetranslator, because I speak fluent Meme and can explain every Meme. In reality all of this is nonesense though, so do not take anything here seriously. Als I am not affiliated with anyone, including DFV. You tell me if its correct or not. If DFV sees this and wants me to not post these translations any further, write me a message. If DFV wants me to continue... same.
First Meme: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1789807772542067105
This is a gamer going from his layed back pose to a more concentrated one. It tells us that it is go time now! It has begun!
Second Meme: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790034263603139012
The first Part shows Thanos with the gamestop symbol. It means Gamestop is Thanos and Gamestop did something itself! The second part shows Roaring Kitty as Wolverine awakening. And in case you did not see Keith Gills face superimposed over Wolverine, it is made more clear with the Kitty outline on the Heartratemonitor. So basically this meme tells us, that Gamestop did something, which is why Roaring Kitty/DFV/Keith Gill is back.
What did Roaring Kitty see? Well... just you wait, the memes tell us.
Third Meme: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790041813379850491
We were told it is over. It is not over until we say its over! Roaring Kitty has awakened! Wake up and be ready!
​
Fourth Meme:
https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790049362846117942
This is a big one! It shows a gamestop-coded Car driving back into the green. It means the Buyback from gamestop will leed to the green! This continues the meme from the 4th of June 2021: On June 4th of 2021, Roaring Kitty posted this: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1400124740291923968
It shows the first Part of the Scene from Ready Player one, before he drives back to win basically. But it does not show the second Part. Because Gamestop did not buy BACK Shares!
What does it mean? It means Roaring Kitty wanted to see Gamestop do a buyback of shares. That did not happen though. After that moment he slowed down with memeposting and posted memes of frustration, among them a declaration, that he does not love Ryan Cohen. I will show that meme later, its the "love actually" one, because that one came back also! He expected the Buyback to finish the shorts, but Ryan did not do that, so he fell out of love with him and went silent shortly after, as the buyback was crucial to fucking the shorts somehow.
Fifth Meme: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790056912664601031
Get ready to fight, every notch/Options Step brings in more money, because of the Gamma Squeeze! And do not sell all winning options... take as many shares out of the options as possible, to help the Gamma Squeeze. (this is what the Blood on the Blade Part in the beginning is all about) But the opposition is numerous and getting ready to fight. When he moves, everybody needs to move! Coded in Red and Green, so basically he might be telling us to watch out for signals from the memes, as he they will tell us what the stock will do... though I think most people misinterpret the memes anyway and also I am not sure about the signal part. It may just be that we need to find the signals for ourselves. But we definetly need to move!
​
sixth Meme: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790064464357724451
He Moves!
Seventh Meme: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790072011810812231
A Reiteration of the "When I say 'run', RUN!"
Eigth Meme: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790079562866360327
Everybody needs to work together, this is the LAST TIME! THIS IS IT! THE TIME IS NOW! And apparently some friends also showed up... some whales, that I do not know maybe.
Ninth Meme: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790087112282239085
Its the Showdown from "the good the bad the ugly", with the musiv from that showdown played from a live Metallica Concert (They play that before they start their music as an intro) So its Showdown-Time! Unfortunatelly I do not know the Symbol that is superimposed over Thor, but it probably identifies some entity that is in this fight.
Tenth Meme: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790094668237259040
A Red coded Meme... could mean stock will go down short term .... maybe reading too much into this though. Also tells us that Hell is coming with this. Omnious!
Eleventh Meme: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790102212619669909
Another Big one. Gamestop pushed the Red Button, that they did not push in 2021. That Button being the Share Buyback? Its Another Continuation from a Meme from June 4th 2021: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1400863669895024643
That same day, right in the meme before that one, he declares he does not love R.C.. This Meme is the explanation why: Gamestop (R.C.) Did NOT Push the Red button back then.
The good news is, now apparently Gamestop did push the red button/do the buyback/maybe something else(Gamestop as a holding company related).
Twelvth Meme: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790109766389477525
"No Fighting" means, do not fight the downtrend. Let the memes guide you! You will need your money in the coming weeks!
Thirteenth Meme: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790170162265460831
Roaring Kitty is in this and has been waiting and planning all this time that the stock was beat down. But every action is followed by a reaction. Could mean that when stock is beaten down, it WILL go up again. And it will be quite a fuckin thing. Another Red Coded Meme though. Come Hang, chill, wait. And in the End it will be green after the red. Maybe. To be honest, all Memes that could mean that we should do a certain action are not all that super clear and I might be misinterpreting them. Which is funny, considering the "Did I make myself clear" in the end..... because to me that part is not clear at all!
Fourteenth Meme: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790396654971224430
Dont test me! Go back to sleep! Could mean that Roaring Kitty wanted to go back to sleep by media and the shorts. and he is like "dont test me", cause he is a one hit killer. Probably means he could just openly say what he knows and then shorts would be finished. Because coded meme messages WILL be interpreted wrongly.
Fifteenth: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790404203715887238
Kitty/DFV feels Bears, Shorts and Media did fuck around with him and now they will find out. Now he is stopping "being the better person" and trying to follow their "rules". What follows is kitty ranting about the neysayers/Shorts, saying bears are fucking idiots basically!
Sixteenth: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790411757120561628
Kitty comes to us. He Needs our help and we need to not ask any questions, not now not later. Seventeenth: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790419301976903884
mainly green coded Video.
Eighteenth: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790426851409817615 Basically because of the SEC(Security), a lot of planning is/was needed for this, as well as maaaaany people. because this is different because it has never been done before. The Goal is JUST UP.
Nineteenth: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790434400494116873
This whole thing needed a whole lot of Paperwork and dancing around. Interestingly it mentions "Loophole", which could just mean that a way for the squeeze was found, building upon the eighteenth memes themes. Could also point towards Loopring, who worked together with Gamestop on the NFT-Marketplace. Could be a stretch though.
Twentieth meme: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790441953659687421
There is a signal that was sent, that was also seen by the bad guys. So I assume, whatever signal DFV saw, he is saying the Shorts also saw that signal.... and they are afraid. And a red coded Message: "FEAR IS A TOOL!" So, he might tell us to not fear the red days. Fear is just a tool. Could also mean that Shorts being afraid is good, because that fear is a tool. Cause when the shorts see the signal, some might flip and buy in. Which would good because THATS WHAT THEY SHOULD HAVE DONE IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!
Twentyfirst: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790449499506192405
Coded green: A guy in front of a PC stays with a friend. Could mean Kitty is the friend and redditors collectively in front of their PCs stay and dont leave DFV alone! He may again ask us to be with him in this.
Twentysecond: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790457051115847720
Lots to unpack. A Requel means its happening again.... means the squeeze of 2021 is happening again. This is not just a company turnaround, it indeed is A SQUEEZE! And the Movie about that Sneeze fucking sucked basically.
Twentythird: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790464599575167004
Kitty comes for the Bears. He is back. This time, every bear will be a victim!
Twentyfourth: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790472153470759217
DFV is supposed to be the Guy with the haircut. Basically he has the Shorts by the balls now. Now that DFV has seen the Buyback by Gamestop, he has his gun on the Short Sellers. Short Sellers are squirming and trying to shake off paperhands with a bit of money, but he is just grinning because of that ridiculous offer. Of course Shorts/Bears call him names and stuff. Then a Call/Margin Call comes in. This Meme will have a follow up meme! The Follow up Meme will be what happens after the Call, which is the Haircut guy shooting the Short guy and it will be posted once some Short-Hedge-Fund or Bank goes down because of this bet.
Another somewhat related meme was posted on June 9th 2021. https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1402641643694477317
That time DFV is the haircut guy and he is flipping the coin, which is GAMESTOP-coded. So he was waiting for a signal from Gamestop to be able to shoot his shot. He himself could NOT do what he was waiting for from GAMESTOP. I guess he was still waiting for the Buyback back then, but it was evident that it wasnt coming (and too late anyway). I bet DFV was pissed that GME did no buyback, but NOW they did, which is why he has posted the current meme.
Twentyfifth: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790532552828289526
The Prisoner says "GAMESTOP"! In case its not clear, that means DFV is talking about GME. And he is ALL IN!
Twentysixth: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790713748866371690
Gamestop looking Sexy and throwing us kisses! They send us the signal! (the buyback?)
Twentyseventh: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790717515523658119
Gamestop is doing something extraordinary. They do it in the open and we could see it. Maybe something with electricity. But we are not really looking.
And whatever it is, it will BEAT DOWN the Bears.
Could mean that Gamestop is buying back its stock to put it onto a NFT-Stock Market, which is why Gamestop registered as a holding company. But this is just baseless speculation.
Twentyeigth: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790721293089964126
Everybody Hold, gamestop is preping something. It means we should hold, because Gamestop is preping something against whoever tried to kill Short and distort Gamestop and did short and distord Blockbuster and others.
Twentyninth: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790725065585439065
Gamestops milk was poisened. Means the short and distord left moles in the company that tried to destroy it from within.
Thirty: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790728848226521547
Against all the odds, Kitty or R.C. went into this short and distort sheme, to try to win against short sellers.
Thirtyfirst: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790732615022195139
Kitty does not take the comments of the Media laying down, he fights back. Kitty mentions Wutang. Maybe it has something to do with the rumor that Wutangs one of a kind Album was somehow unter the control of R.C.. Dont know if its a cheecky call back or if this story is actually real.
Thirtysecond: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790736391124774975
Moon Night-Fortnite-Day n night are the Key motifs. So here is the thing with Fortnite: A Fortnight is 2 Weeks. In 2 Weeks, at the beginning of June, the 3 Year LEAPS expire. Moon Night is invulnerable basically.
Now this could hint towards Shorts being invulnarable because of their LEAPS, until those LEAPS expire in 2 Weeks. Then their silly game is over. Thats why everything happening right now is just the OVERTURE (See Second Meme)
Thirtythird: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790740164848861227
Media are disrespecting Kitty and he is fine with it.
Thirtyfourth: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790743946764644659
I think he is saying He is a redditor and Redditors are like him. Reddit brought him Gamestop and he brought Gamestop to redditors. Something like that. And the first thing one should do to follow his Thesis is try to "Defend the Bear Case". Trying to defend the other side of a trade will show how fucked the other side actually is. Maybe that is why he and redditors know that Gamestop will explode into the green. Cause the Bear Case.... its not that good.
​
Thirty fifth: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790747714440892825
DFV is telling us he is not following some get rich quick sheme. He is not a gambler degenerate. He has a plan, he makes the memes, he does not follow them! He knows and people should hear his side. Also its a play on parts of the Next Meme, he is telling us he made the memes.
Thirty sixth: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790751492451754012
He is telling us that Ryan Cohen did a lot of the planing and the getting the people together, but people listen to "Avocado-in-my-anus", which is an alternate account of DFV. Is it really though? Well he told us in the last meme, that he is the one that made the memes. And Avocado-in-my-anus made 3 Memes on Cat Day.
Thirty-seventh: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790755264733626879
Again a continuation from the last meme. People saying DFV is running the whole GME Thing... meanwhile what is supposed to be DFV is just drawing dicks/making Memes. He tries to tell us, that it is R.C. doing the whole company stuff and that he has nothing to do with it basically.
Thirtieigth: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790759048985612468
A continuation from the last few memes. R.C. vs DFV, who is in charge? They both say they will not. Quill is R.C., Thor is DFV. DFV kind of wants to be in charge, but begrudgingly lets R.C. do his thing. I think this plays on DFVs Anger in 2021, that R.C. did not push the red button/do the buyback back then.
Thirtyninth: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790762813868175516
This is basically a repeat and rewind of a Meme posted on June 4th 2021: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1400844797229912065
In 2021, DFV was mad, that R.C. did not push the button/do the buyback and told us clearly that he did not like R.C. anymore with this meme. Now in 2024, he rewinds that meme and tells us, that he thought that at the time in 2021, but that the investment thesis evolved over time and he now sees R.C. as a supermode.
So basically he saw what R.C. was doing in 2024, which he did not in 2021 and he likes R.C. again now. Probably because R.C. pushed the button and also did some plan with loopholes and stuff that DFV may not have thought about.
Number Forty: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790766591526735887 So, R.C. had a plan and 3 years later it comes to fruition. He does mirror some of R.C.s emotes. Also he tells us "People say it cant squeeze again"..... he says it will.
​
Fortyone: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790770363627921776 Too many awards on his last post. Maybe too many eyes on him and his plan?
Forty two
https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790774146994966570 DFV transformed fully into his internet persona, because of the last meme.
​
Forty three: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790777913245421806 Too much drama around Kitty in 2021. This might be the explanation why he went dark-mode.
forty four: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790781688848450012 People want to know what the fuck Kitty was doing all these 3 years. He tells us he was waiting for this. Because it is part of the Plan. What is this? I think it is GME Buying back stock before the expiration of the LEAPS in the beginning of June. So yea, thats what he saw and why he came back.
​
Forty five: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790785463118348420 It does not matter that he, DFV, is back. The whole Squeeze Plan matters. And it is getting executed right now. Why does he say we? Because everyone holding GME is part of it. It think the many DRSed hodlers of GME are indeed part of the plan and necessary!
Forty Six: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790789242513433071 The Goofy "I will do it again" Meme. DFV will do it again.... and by "it" I think he means he will again buy a shit ton of options and stock. And I think he will post it. OR Its the shorts that are doing it again. And its shorting, but I dont know if its referring to back in 2021 and their shorting until now, under the cover of LEAPS or if it is now before June, or whatever. We will see.
Forty Seven: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790793012936851665
He tells the GME investors that say they lost money because of DFV: SHUT UP BITCH! Continued in next meme.
Fortyeight: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790796790360363016
He tells us, that last memes "Shut up, Bitch" was too good of a line to not use and that it was not meant for all redditors, but for one guy that apparently was crying about losing money because of DFV. Dont know who, I am not into reddit drama. Basically DFV just liked the line as a meme, because its funny. And he will continue to post coded memes, even if people dont understand them.
Forty-nine: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790800562654691686 DFV thinks everybody thinks he is crazy with his memes and Media slandered him.
Fifty: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790804340673789978 Continues the last meme and that people think he is a freak with his memes. But he tells us the memes bring out the people that are like him... freaks. He is talking to us oldscool redditors and webpeople that the mediapeople cant seem to get their head wrapped around. If you ever rolled your eyes at the media misusing uncomplicated memes.... yea, he is talking about you. You come to twitter to hear his trumpet/Memes!
Fifty one: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790808112741630320
DFV is the Redhanded-guy and that bears can do nothing against him. It is red-coded. But definetly Bears can do nothing against DFV and he is keeping them up. Which I think is definetly true.
Fifty two: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790812277530034448 Jim Cramer asked for this meme and DFV made it in a few minutes, just to fuck with him. Though it does show Kitty behind a chair, coded in Computershare colors and with a teddy, which is the name of R.C. Company of Kids Books. And Kitty behind the whole thing, hiding. Jo, does Teddy play into all of this??? If so this meme is one hundred layers deep. Personally I think Teddy might be important to do some stuff that Gamestop itself can not do, like for example "buy Calls on GME", but this meme is mainly there to fuck with Jim Cramer.
Fifty Three: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790815662203617755 The stock goes down, just to fuck with us.... UNTIL!!!!!!! Well, what happens after "until" will probably follow in a later meme, when shorts lose control of their button. Probably in the beginning of June, or when R.C. announces the buyback and a higher than expected number of shares locked down. No more Mr. Nice Guy for the shorts then. so keep your eyes out. Oh, and the stock will stop going down then.
Fifty four: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790819440617033914 Shorts try to crucify Kitty and Gamestop.... it speaks about the stock going down as a tool from the shorts to make us afraid. And we only ask: Is that the best you can do?
Fifty Five: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790823211745063394 Shorts taunt us, beat us down and try to make us doubt..... but the soundtrack :-D Basically this is a game for us and we will whop their asses, no matter what shorts do.... like the beatdown on the stock right now.
​
Fifty six: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790826988019528035
Now, this is interesting: Shorts made this whole thing happen. They sold before they bought. They dropped it. So it WILL go back up. It... WILL.... GO....... UP!!!!!! You feel it yet?
Fifty Seven: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790830761542664192
Continuation: Do you have a girlfriend that tells you to sell and stop listening to the mad people on Reddit? Do you have people around you, telling you the squeeze-narrative is bullshit? Trust your instinct. This continues the last meme, while you can not see the stock going up right now, it was dropped. So it will go back up. Thats the law of nature, even if it was perverted.... or turned around.
Fifty Eigth: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790834536403574936
A Person is fleeing with a hidden GME Share in his pocket. It means we were running and holding GME for a long time and are tired, but we STAND UP, with GME IN OUR HANDS! I am not really "tired", but thats what the meme says.
Fifty Nine: https://x.com/TheRoaringKitty/status/1790894938277695671
In this meme, DFV explains to us, how he found Gamestop. Due Diligence, time, pressure and making memes, basically. In 2021 they tried to lock away DFV, but all the departments of the state found no wrongdoing... just his reddit posts, tweets and live streams.
It only takes pressure and time and DFV studied meticulously. Now I did not know every mentioned meme, so he may not have posted them. He may have posted them though and it might lead to another account of him. I doubt it would be more fruitful in information than his twitter account. After all, thats where the freaks at! And one last thing. He laments that apparently noone looked at his streams...I guess thats where all the information was after all. I think it shows content from his Gamestop-Explanation video, but I am unsure, because it is quarter before 4 AM and I am tired and I will go to bed after posting this.
Thanks for reading. Everything is made up of course, I have no idea what DFV is thinking, but it seems clear, that when you look at the whole situation, as we all did, we would come to the same conclusion, as we all did. Shorts did not close and GME seems to be a good investment. Also, look closer!.... thats the main theme. And stop doubting yourself.... yea, thats pretty much it.
So TLDR: The first days of June is where some of the magic will happen in the LEAPS. Meanwhile, R.C. has a plan with Gamestop and the buyback plays a role in it. And that plan does enable the ability for a killshot against the shorts. And it will explode in the green like never before. Also: Learn Memeish
To DFV: Write me what you think about it, if you want.

This might be a long read and yes that hobby is video games.
I(33M) and my wife(32F) have been married for 14 years and together since I was 13 and she 12. We have four kids, three girls and one boy from 4 to 12. I've been playing video games since the 2nd grade (yes super Nintendo). It's always been my favorite pass time and hobby and my best memories from when I was a kid is from me and two brother playing halo and playing call of duty is the only way me and my little brother still connect after my older brother was killed in 2011. I have 5k PC gaming (I'm also a nerd) and an entire room of my house dedicated to gaming. When I came home from Afghanistan in 2013 I was alone and although I didn't know it have the time I played video games online with little brother to cope, we talked and worked on our KD. During that time I was alone, my wife and oldest daughter was still in a different state living with her mom (daughter was born 1 1/2 month before I deployed). She lived with her mom for the help while I was gone but I still spent first four month on my own.
Before I start getting the gaming hate. My kids (all of them) loved playing video games with me (I built the oldest two thier own rigs and the other play on the Xbox and phones). I also make just shy of 100k a year, been in the military for 15yrs, workout regularly, love my wife dearly and have a graduate level education, we own a very nice 300k home in a nice neighborhood and two both less than 3yrs old. That all to say I'm no bum, and I take extreme pride in taking care of my large family because I have alot of memories of my dad being a bum before my dad left him. I at least think I'm a decent dad and husband. I even only drink 4 times a year and only at home never more than 6 beers because my wife dad was an alcoholic.
Now for the reason for the title. Last year in February I was upstairs playing roblox with my 12 and 8 yr Olds during the weekend. I would only play during the weekends. My game room that I spent 7 yrs curating is upstairs right next to the loft where my kids gaming stations are also located. While we are gaming my wife is down stairs watching T.V and while these things are taking place my 4 and 7 yr old were playing in the loft (it's thier play room with an untold number of toys, a couch and a 55in T.V).
All of the sudden my 7 yr old daughter heads for gate that blocks the stairs (I intentionally picked the room next to the stairs) and I ask her "where are you going" because I told them to stay upstairs to let their mom relax. She said that she needed to talk her mommy and she seemed upset and so I'm thing "girl stuff mind your business" and I let her go. Then my wife calls down my 4 yr old. Then my wife yells for my other two. When that happens because the kids were playing with me I went down with them intending to help them do what ever they were supposed to do so we can get back to having fun gaming. What happened wasn't that.
When I went down stairs my wife had our kids line up in front her and she starts laying in them. Very loudly and aggressively, because my then 3yr old had scissors and used them to cut some of her hair. Mind you they where children safety scissors by they seemed to have done the job. My wife was furious and made sure it was know.
She told them that they know that they have to watch the 3-year-old when I'm gaming because they know that I won't and that it's there responsibility to watch her when I'm gaming because I never do. This was the bases of her entire furious rant to them. It went on for 15 - 20 min before I left.
I was beyond hurt. I never cry in front if my kids, I do my best to control my emotions in front of them. I couldn't in that moment. Hearing her tell my kids right in from me that they have to take care of each other because I won't cut me deeper than I've ever felt. So I just grabbed my keys and left. I called my little brother in between wanting to kill someone and crying my eyes out and told him what happened. I couldn't control how angry I was and so I sat in a walmart parking lot for close to an hour while I calmed down. My wife called me constantly. After I calmed down I went home where she acted like I was in the wrong for leaving and wanted me to apologize for leaving instead of talking. I didn't.
I haven't play a single video game since then. This past new years I was drinking (my kids where at my father-in-laws and I was at home with my wife) and my wife used rare opportunity to ask me why I won't play games with the kids anymore and me in that state if mind told the entire truth and allowed my real feeling to show. I told it was because of what she said and overall that she said it to my kids and in my face and how she had no right too. I explained how we always send the kids upstairs to play without us and how it's the whole reason the kids play area exists. I further told her how I even explicitly chose the room I could just to be able to be able to somewhat watch them while I'm gaming and how now I get sick to my stomach when ever I even think about gaming. About how it was how I connected to my brother's and my kids and how it was my only hobby. If I wasn't at Work, the gym, or gaming I was with her and the kids and that half the time even when I'm gaming I'm still with the kids.
To this day I still can't bring myself to game. My son and oldest daughter still ask me regularly to play games with them and my brother is always asking me too jump on call of duty with him. I just can't get over it and I blame my wife and resent her for taking this thing away from me.

Rulers of the Outer World was stumping me to no end and while I am by no means an expert gamer, I prefer completing difficult challenges with my own strategies before taking to YouTube and seeing what the pros do. After a particularly harrowing night staying up until 4:30am and getting wrecked by Virtual Sephiroth, I decided to take a break and switch to the Legendary Challenges. Cait Sith was the most annoying but still, I managed to clear it which opened up the Zack and Sephiroth fights…
Nevertheless, I decided to give them a whirl because I had gotten sick of Rulers at that point.
Enter To be a Hero.
Cleared it on my first attempt via a casual “mess-around” run where I just wanted to play with Sephiroth (our time with him in the first chapter was way too short) and take virtual photos. You can see in the video that I was practically re-learning to play Sephiroth on the fly and was amazed that I was getting through each round in spite of the rocky start, not to mention Cloud is running a Buster Sword build purely for aesthetics.
Now it’s time for the big one, Bonds of Friendship.
Okay. From everything I was reading, the Sephiroth Challenge is more fun than anything else considering how OP he is so it is perfectly reasonable to clear it even on a blind run with enough luck on your side. Zack? Different story and oooof, did this challenge throw me through the wringer. Still, I managed to clear it after two days and was absolutely flabbergasted watching speed run videos afterwards with the vaunted “Wind Killer” build. Suffice it to say, I probably should have sucked it up and watched a guide or two beforehand as that would have saved me a lot of headache but still, it was a nice feeling of accomplishment knowing that I was able to clear this bout my way.
Finally, I came back to my most hated enemy — Rulers of the Outer World.
After some more failed attempts, I cracked and looked up a few guides. The “Yuffie Dance Attack” seemed perfectly viable and I was this close to implementing it until I stumbled upon a video that showed how to perfect parry Shadowy Chains for those of us (mostly old guys like me) who have lost the lightning fast reflexes from the days of their youth. It’s an infinitely sound strategy that I had never thought of and upon utilizing it, I finally managed to take out Virtual Sephiroth and earn the Götterdämmerung. My run through Rulers was a protracted battle of attrition that required two parts to encompass but still, I am proud of this achievement and will be happily spamming Brumal Form or any other meta setup the next time I give this challenge a whirl.
If you are curious, here is Part 1 and Part 2.
I am curious to know if anyone else here has had a similar experience to my own. From everything I have gathered, it would appear that the majority of the player base cleared Rulers first and then used the Götterdämmerung to make life easier with Zack and Sephiroth. After seeing so many rage about Bonds of Friendship, I am somewhat shocked that I managed to clear that before the Outer World.
To conclude, I have always been intimidated by FromSoft games due to their high difficulty spike and the fact that I would have an extremely difficult time fitting it into my busy schedule. I was this close to purchasing Sekiro back in the summer of 2020 but work finally picked up again so of course, I had to put gaming on the back burner. A lot of my friends have tried to convince me to give Elden Ring a shot but again, the learning curve dissuaded me. I enjoy platinuming games but usually prefer simple affairs as I am far from being an expert gamer. Remake was definitely challenging but fair as there were only a couple trophies that truly tested me. With Rebirth, I was tested over and over again to the point that I got numb to it. Hell, I spent an entire weekend on the Chocobo Races alone as I am basically crap at the racing genre.
Now having earned the Platinum, I have a question for all the FromSoft players on this forum. How would you rank Rebirth’s platinum compared to Elden and Sekiro? If I was able to survive the Brutal and Legendary Challenges here, would I stand a chance against Malenia even without elite players carrying me? What about the Sword Saint?

In 1945, the United States underwent Operation Paperclip which gave over 1,600 German scientists, engineers and technicians sanctuary and absolution of their crimes in exchange for the continuation of their research.
In 1953 those same individuals came up with and executed MK Ultra, an illegal human experiment that used its citizens (targeting schools, hospitals and prisons) as test subjects.
In 1954 the Plum Island was turned into a research center for diseases.
In 1975 the first documented case of Lyme disease occurred. Rumored to have escaped Plum Island.
In 2005 the DHS announced that all the work done at Plum Island would be continued in Kansas. Not just the center of the continental United States, but also home to crops seen in grocery stores all over the country.
The following is a true story.
Getting into work, one of the first things I do is check my mail. I’ve been a reporter for years and have amassed fans who like to write in and give me leads. Most of the time these leads don't amount to much (Sometimes I wonder if people send me things because of my apophenia and they are trying to get me off their scent), but every once in a while I strike gold.
I had been working at Whisper Alley Echos for a few months by the time I got my first lead. The package I got was small and when I opened it I saw a DVD that had the words “play me” written in black marker on it. Not knowing what was on it, I waited until I got home to put it on. Not just because I didnt know what was on it, but I was also busy working on a different project about how everyone in a nearby town just went missing. The official story is that they all went on vacation or went to visit a relative and decided to stay. I dont know about you, but I found that suspicious.
After getting home and shifting gears to get into the movie mood (popcorn, blinds pulled, etc…) I popped the DVD in and began watching.
There were dozens of different videos to pick from, some ranging from a minute to half an hour. Instead of picking one at random, I just played them in order. After all, all their titles were dates and times and I didnt want to miss anything that might make sense later.
The first video featured a tardigrade, at the time I didnt know what it was, but the scientist doing the voice over described it as being a microscopic animal as well as being extremely resilient. This went on for several minutes and for a moment it felt as though I was watching a nature documentary instead of something given to me by a government whistleblower.
The next few videos featured footage of the tardigrades being given something called “BB-F828” and the changes it caused.
The voiceover talked about how a tardigrade (this time he called them water bears and the two terms were interchangeable from this point on) was showing signs of several thousand generations of evolution in only a few days. Even though I know nothing about science, I could see that the thing on the television was not the same animal that was shown in the first video.
While they were never “cute”, at least they never looked like predators, but after a few videos I saw that the tardigrades were covered in what appeared to be padding. In a later video this padding would change into being chitin-like armor.
The last video was filmed two months after the water bears were given BB-F828 and in it the scientists could see them even without a microscope.
The next morning I went into work and started writing on my computer, copying notes from my small notebook. However by the time I started the second draft, Andrea, the office secretary, dropped a letter off at my desk.
It was the first time I got a letter about an “inside scoop” two days in a row.
The letter said that they were the ones who sent the DVD and if I wanted to know more I would have to go to The Rats Skeleton (a bar that used to be a speakeasy during prohibition. Because of this the place feels as though its a front for a comic book villain. The owners have leaned into this and did everything they could to reinforce this feeling with sparse lighting and everything that isn't red velvet on the walls being painted black) at a specific time.
Usually I wouldn't go meet strangers after getting an anonymous letter that tells me to come alone, but its a small town and I didn't have much going on that particular Thursday.
Parking behind the Merc (short for mercantile, where most of the grocery and general shopping is done in town), I descended the stairs and made my way to the back of the bar. There I found a woman that didnt look like she slept in days. Since no one else was in that back area I figured she must have been the person I was there to see.
“Hey, I’m Daniel West. Am I—”
“Sit” the woman said, motioning across from her. I sat down and asked her for her name but she didn’t want to answer me and when i asked for it a second time she claimed it was Jane, but there is no doubt that was not her real name.
“What made you reach out, Jane?”
“You saw the video?”
I nodded. “Yup.”
“And?”
“I have a lot of questions” I answered.
“Figured you would” Jane said. “Ask.”
“Well, first” I said, my journalistic inexperience showing as I went through my pocket notebook. “Who are you and why do you know all this?”
“Name isnt important” Jane answered. “Let me start from the beginning. We thought we were working on human survivability” Jane answered. “I thought that I was working for some company that had a government contract. That might be true, it might not be. Either way lots of money and resources have been put into this.”
“I saw the video” I answered. “What exactly was it that I was watching?”
Janes eyes were frantic as she looked at the stairs behind me. When I turned around to see what she was looking at I saw a local descending the steps and approach the bar. She only answered my question when she was convinced that the man wasn't eavesdropping, still, she spoke in whispers.
“We were working on human survivability.”
“You said that. What does that mean?”
“Exactly what it sounds like. Consider we civilize mars and the long term effects from the static radiation there. Or another planet that demands thicker bones because of increased gravity? Evolution might give us those things eventually but what if we need it now? In this generation?”
“So you made super humans?”
Jane was annoyed and slapped the table. No one was around to hear or see her but I still looked around anyways.
“We didn’t work on humans. We piggybacked off of some other countries' genetic research and made some breakthroughs of our own. When—-“
“Other countries?” I interrupted instead of letting her talk.
“Yeah” Jane said with a shrug. “Some countries aren’t tied down by the same code of ethics as ours.”
“That’s why you got a hold of me? To tell—-“
“We were working on small parts. At first individual genes, building from that success we went on to more complex organisms. Eventually, hopefully, test on humans.”
“But you never made it that far?”
“No” Jane said, taking a sip from her glass. “We tested BB-F828 on other things, building up towards human testing.”
“Okay, like what?”
Jane inhaled through her nose and looked at me as though she wasnt sure if I could be trusted. Then she sighed when she realized it was too late not to trust me, she had already went too far to turn back. “What do you think has the best chance of not only surviving a planet wide disaster, but also thrive in it?”
“Cockroaches” I answered.
Jane nodded. “Sure. Lots of people would agree with you, however that wouldn't be the best pick.”
“Oh? Then what would be?”
“Rats.”
I laughed.
“They are tough and can thrive anywhere. Even before BB-F828 they are smarter than roaches, plus rats have a complicated social hierarchy, similar to humans. Remember, I didn't just say survive. I said thrive.”
“So you tested all this on rats?”
Jane nodded. “We did.”
I waited for Jane to continue, but thanks to her staring off into space due to lack of sleep, she waited longer.
“What happened?”
Janes eyes drifted back at me, she was running on fumes. “Huh? Oh, yeah. Rats, right?” she asked while pulling a folder out from the seat next to her. She set it on the table and slid it over to me. “Here, take a peek.”
I opened it, expecting redacted pages of ‘evidence’ and while I got some of that, it was the photos that drew my attention the most. At first the photos were individual rats and a designated number they received instead of a name.
“How many rats did you experiment—” I started, but my voice trailed off when I came across a photo of the one rat with unique markings on its back now appearing to be bred for a war on pleasant dreams. Its eyes were pearly gray, teeth became tusks, its whiskers were thick and barbed. According to the scale it was on when the second photo was taken it weighed twenty nine point four kilos.
“A few hundred?” Jane answered, though it was obvious that it was just a guess. “They were paired off and put in different environments to see how they adapt.”
“Why would you pair them off?”
“I think it was to see if some would branch out and become their own species” Jane answered as she checked her watch. Seeing the time she sped up. “See, when something with BB-F828 finds itself in a desert, it might adapt to the point that it grows a hump like a camel. Or grow gills if they are in the ocean. The original purpose was for human survivability on other planets. We thought if we could discover how the adaptations work, and it could be repeated exactly the same over and over again, we could do something for humans. After all you wouldn't want anything unexpected to happen when you're in the middle of growing another set of arms or a dorsal fin, right?”Jane said. “But to do this we needed lots of subjects and all in their own environments. Each one had their own surprises, after all, evolution is random. Favors some things over others. One species can branch out to be dozens or hundreds. Thousands with enough time and environmental factors. When the tardigrades started displaying more predatory behavior we thought it was due to the change in diet and the increase in protein, but now we think its due to the rapid change. It drives them insane. All of this was surprising, but none as surprising as the ‘dirt rats’.”
“Wait. They are all insane? Also, dirt rats?” I asked, flipping the photo over to show the next one. This one revealed what I thought was a bear, but when I was about to flip it over to look at the next one I noticed its teeth. Thats when I noticed that it was a huge, muscular rat.
“Six breeding pairs, all kept in an empty pool full of dirt. They weren't given enough room to get out of the dirt, so they had to adapt to living in it. Anyways, because they are in the dirt its harder to keep track of what they are doing. Because of that, by the time we discovered that they had burrowed their way out of the facility it was too late. They were gone.”
“Gone? What do you mean?”
“Escaped,” Jane whispered. “And they are growing.”
“Growing?”
“Last I heard, they were nearly sixty feet but we honestly don't know. It's not like we can compare them to anything else.”
“Sixty feet?” I laughed. “Someone would have saw them by—”
“Underground” Jane said with a shake of her head. “They are underground. I know it's hard to believe, but how else can you explain those earthquakes in Chicago? New York?”
“Are you saying there are giant rats under those cities?”
“I am saying they aren't rats anymore. They are something else entirely. I am saying six breeding pairs might not sound like a lot, but rats reproduce so quickly it's terrifying. I am saying that they are so big and there are so many of them that they are causing those earthquakes. I am saying that due to their size they burn off lots of calories and some have evolved to hibernating.”
“Why hibernation?”
“No idea, but when they wake up they are going to be very hungry. Ravenous.”
“Any idea when that might be?” I asked.
Jane shrugged. “Some already have. We just covered it up.”
It might have been my apophenia talking, but with that statement I started seeing the bigger picture and asked Jane about the town that went missing (The story I was working on before her DVD reached me). Jane gave me the politician's answer, saying something without actually saying something, and that was enough to confirm that I was indeed on the right track.
Unfortunately Jane and I did not speak for much longer, she got a call that freaked her out and she took off. Before she left she took the folder and the pictures I was still going through. I haven't seen or heard from her since and have dropped the story about the disappearances that have secretly been plaguing our country.
WAE

I’m really, really, starting not to like my hair. It bothers me that there’s all this extra work in order to take care of it properly, since it’s super curly (4b or 4c?)
My hair grows, and it’s quite healthy. The longest I’ve had it was to my butt. Right now, its just below my chest. So it’s not a growth or length issue. I’ve also never had it relaxed, I’ve been natural all my life. My routine and products I use are minimal, and I have the techniques down. I would say I’m quite experienced.
My main issue is that it’s not quite versatile. I know people mention all the things you can do to it, but it’s usually wigs, braids, or silk presses. I hate wigs, I hate braids, and constantly straightening your hair damages it and that’s its own set of upkeep. And if it is natural, the styles require a bunch of gel and tension.
For a few years, I had my hair in twists. That’s how I got my hair to my butt. But because of how long it was getting, I would only touch my hair once a month (I know, disgusting). It was getting to the point that I would start in the morning, and at best, end late in the night. I tried doing it more often, which did cut down on the time, but it still took basically all day just in more frequent intervals. I eventually decided to just take the twists out. Due to basically neglecting my hair, I had so many split ends and single strand knots I had to cut more than half my hair 😭
When I looked online for what to do with my hair, all I saw was wigs and weave. I get hot and sweaty easily, and I don’t like the idea of not having access to my scalp, so wigs are a no. I’ve had braids before, but I don’t like sitting down for hours to do my hair, and I didn’t want to continue waiting a month to do my hair or only having it in for 1-2 weeks and taking it out. I don’t trust myself to use heat, and I hate gel as it’ll make my hair greasy quickly. I also wanted styles where I didn’t have to worry about my hair too much, since I like to swim. But without those styles, it’s hard to have your hair looking decent.
My alternative to gel was to detangle and style my hair everyday. I would detangle it in the shower and style it when I came out. Since I didn’t moisturize it, that end up leaving my hair dry and with single strand knots, so I had to cut my hair again. Then I applied moisture every other day, which stopped the knots, but now my hair was getting dirty easily. Also, the routine of taking the time to section my hair, detangle each section, twist it up, and then find a style was getting tiresome. Finding a style while having kinky hair, there’s only a handful of hairstyles that work with no gel, so it was quite discouraging.
Eventually, I just decided to leave my hair in four braids and wash it once a week. My routine is simple: I detangle it in the shower before I start shampooing, I leave it in sections the whole time, leave the conditioner to sit while I wash myself, detangle and rinse it, use water and oil and braid them up. Throughout the week, as it gets frizzy, I detangle and braid it in the shower (which is about every other day).
I look back and I’m like, why all this work??? I watch people with straight and loose curls a lot and I wish I could do what they could with their hair. I wish I could just wake up, brush it out, and it’s decent looking or I can immediately style it. Or, even if I have to wet and detangle it, I wish I didn’t have to constantly section it off, and only let the water “reset” my curls. Since my curls are tight and can knot easily, I don’t wear it out without detangling it first which isn’t a simple ordeal either.
I wish I could do minimal to no sectioning, and when I’m done detangling I could take it all out and just brush through it. I wish it would stay decently detangled throughout my shampooing, and all I have to do is a quick brush through my head with the conditioner in before rinsing it out. I wish it didn’t take me almost 2 HOURS TO WASH AND BRAID MY HAIR EVERY WEEK! I wish when I styled it, I could leave more hair out and do cute minimal hairstyles, not worry about having to “stretch it out” or do looks that could be achieved with minimal to no gel (my hair just isnt like that lol). I wish I could just moisturize it and let it dry and be done with it.
I’ve had long hair: down my butt, lower back, and now I’m letting it grow out again and it’s about mid back. I can’t show off my length! I’ve always wanted long hair, and now that I do, I can’t even take it out and see it all because it’ll just shrink and be a hassle! I think my curls are pretty, but shrinkage limits styles so much and since they’re tight, wearing my hair out just leaves it vulnerable to breakage.
Another issue I have is cleanliness. I wash my hair once a week, but like I said, I’m hot bodied. I’m also active, so I sweat a bunch. My hair just gets dirty so quickly! My issues always been that I can’t just wash it, since it takes so long. I have a life! I have stuff to do! This is tmi, but I hate that I can’t wash my sweaty head! It grosses me out, and I’m always scratching it. I feel like no matter what I do, I’m a slave to my hair. This has to be my biggest issue, it gives me the ick.
My only hope is to shave it. I don’t mind wearing wigs if I have nothing underneath, if I decide to wear wigs. I can also wash it however often I want to. My only issue is my femininity. I love long hair, I love having long hair. I love measuring my hair from time to time and being happy with how much it’s grown. I love the compliments I get about my hair being (unexpectedly) long. Also, my hair wasn’t always long. Before I learned what to do and how to take care of it, my hair was the same length for years and I envied those whose hair was long and loose. I mean I still do, but it’s more for versatility and ease rather than it is about looks (although that does still play a role). Now that I have it, I feel sad about letting it go. It’s kind of like my identity, which is also a reason why I want to shave it off. I’m also already insecure about looking manly, so while shaving my hair from here on out might be freeing, I feel like it’ll amplify another insecurity.
I don’t know what was the point of me making this or if anybody cares but this is my dilemma and I dunno if anyone’s going through something similar.

In 1945, the United States underwent Operation Paperclip which gave over 1,600 German scientists, engineers and technicians sanctuary and absolution of their crimes in exchange for the continuation of their research.
In 1953 those same individuals came up with and executed MK Ultra, an illegal human experiment that used its citizens (targeting schools, hospitals and prisons) as test subjects.
In 1954 the Plum Island was turned into a research center for diseases.
In 1975 the first documented case of Lyme disease occurred. Rumored to have escaped Plum Island.
In 2005 the DHS announced that all the work done at Plum Island would be continued in Kansas. Not just the center of the continental United States, but also home to crops seen in grocery stores all over the country.
The following is a true story.
Getting into work, one of the first things I do is check my mail. I’ve been a reporter for years and have amassed fans who like to write in and give me leads. Most of the time these leads don't amount to much (Sometimes I wonder if people send me things because of my apophenia and they are trying to get me off their scent), but every once in a while I strike gold.
I had been working at Whisper Alley Echos for a few months by the time I got my first lead. The package I got was small and when I opened it I saw a DVD that had the words “play me” written in black marker on it. Not knowing what was on it, I waited until I got home to put it on. Not just because I didnt know what was on it, but I was also busy working on a different project about how everyone in a nearby town just went missing. The official story is that they all went on vacation or went to visit a relative and decided to stay. I dont know about you, but I found that suspicious.
After getting home and shifting gears to get into the movie mood (popcorn, blinds pulled, etc…) I popped the DVD in and began watching.
There were dozens of different videos to pick from, some ranging from a minute to half an hour. Instead of picking one at random, I just played them in order. After all, all their titles were dates and times and I didnt want to miss anything that might make sense later.
The first video featured a tardigrade, at the time I didnt know what it was, but the scientist doing the voice over described it as being a microscopic animal as well as being extremely resilient. This went on for several minutes and for a moment it felt as though I was watching a nature documentary instead of something given to me by a government whistleblower.
The next few videos featured footage of the tardigrades being given something called “BB-F828” and the changes it caused.
The voiceover talked about how a tardigrade (this time he called them water bears and the two terms were interchangeable from this point on) was showing signs of several thousand generations of evolution in only a few days. Even though I know nothing about science, I could see that the thing on the television was not the same animal that was shown in the first video.
While they were never “cute”, at least they never looked like predators, but after a few videos I saw that the tardigrades were covered in what appeared to be padding. In a later video this padding would change into being chitin-like armor.
The last video was filmed two months after the water bears were given BB-F828 and in it the scientists could see them even without a microscope.
The next morning I went into work and started writing on my computer, copying notes from my small notebook. However by the time I started the second draft, Andrea, the office secretary, dropped a letter off at my desk.
It was the first time I got a letter about an “inside scoop” two days in a row.
The letter said that they were the ones who sent the DVD and if I wanted to know more I would have to go to The Rats Skeleton (a bar that used to be a speakeasy during prohibition. Because of this the place feels as though its a front for a comic book villain. The owners have leaned into this and did everything they could to reinforce this feeling with sparse lighting and everything that isn't red velvet on the walls being painted black) at a specific time.
Usually I wouldn't go meet strangers after getting an anonymous letter that tells me to come alone, but its a small town and I didn't have much going on that particular Thursday.
Parking behind the Merc (short for mercantile, where most of the grocery and general shopping is done in town), I descended the stairs and made my way to the back of the bar. There I found a woman that didnt look like she slept in days. Since no one else was in that back area I figured she must have been the person I was there to see.
“Hey, I’m Daniel West. Am I—”
“Sit” the woman said, motioning across from her. I sat down and asked her for her name but she didn’t want to answer me and when i asked for it a second time she claimed it was Jane, but there is no doubt that was not her real name.
“What made you reach out, Jane?”
“You saw the video?”
I nodded. “Yup.”
“And?”
“I have a lot of questions” I answered.
“Figured you would” Jane said. “Ask.”
“Well, first” I said, my journalistic inexperience showing as I went through my pocket notebook. “Who are you and why do you know all this?”
“Name isnt important” Jane answered. “Let me start from the beginning. We thought we were working on human survivability” Jane answered. “I thought that I was working for some company that had a government contract. That might be true, it might not be. Either way lots of money and resources have been put into this.”
“I saw the video” I answered. “What exactly was it that I was watching?”
Janes eyes were frantic as she looked at the stairs behind me. When I turned around to see what she was looking at I saw a local descending the steps and approach the bar. She only answered my question when she was convinced that the man wasn't eavesdropping, still, she spoke in whispers.
“We were working on human survivability.”
“You said that. What does that mean?”
“Exactly what it sounds like. Consider we civilize mars and the long term effects from the static radiation there. Or another planet that demands thicker bones because of increased gravity? Evolution might give us those things eventually but what if we need it now? In this generation?”
“So you made super humans?”
Jane was annoyed and slapped the table. No one was around to hear or see her but I still looked around anyways.
“We didn’t work on humans. We piggybacked off of some other countries' genetic research and made some breakthroughs of our own. When—-“
“Other countries?” I interrupted instead of letting her talk.
“Yeah” Jane said with a shrug. “Some countries aren’t tied down by the same code of ethics as ours.”
“That’s why you got a hold of me? To tell—-“
“We were working on small parts. At first individual genes, building from that success we went on to more complex organisms. Eventually, hopefully, test on humans.”
“But you never made it that far?”
“No” Jane said, taking a sip from her glass. “We tested BB-F828 on other things, building up towards human testing.”
“Okay, like what?”
Jane inhaled through her nose and looked at me as though she wasnt sure if I could be trusted. Then she sighed when she realized it was too late not to trust me, she had already went too far to turn back. “What do you think has the best chance of not only surviving a planet wide disaster, but also thrive in it?”
“Cockroaches” I answered.
Jane nodded. “Sure. Lots of people would agree with you, however that wouldn't be the best pick.”
“Oh? Then what would be?”
“Rats.”
I laughed.
“They are tough and can thrive anywhere. Even before BB-F828 they are smarter than roaches, plus rats have a complicated social hierarchy, similar to humans. Remember, I didn't just say survive. I said thrive.”
“So you tested all this on rats?”
Jane nodded. “We did.”
I waited for Jane to continue, but thanks to her staring off into space due to lack of sleep, she waited longer.
“What happened?”
Janes eyes drifted back at me, she was running on fumes. “Huh? Oh, yeah. Rats, right?” she asked while pulling a folder out from the seat next to her. She set it on the table and slid it over to me. “Here, take a peek.”
I opened it, expecting redacted pages of ‘evidence’ and while I got some of that, it was the photos that drew my attention the most. At first the photos were individual rats and a designated number they received instead of a name.
“How many rats did you experiment—” I started, but my voice trailed off when I came across a photo of the one rat with unique markings on its back now appearing to be bred for a war on pleasant dreams. Its eyes were pearly gray, teeth became tusks, its whiskers were thick and barbed. According to the scale it was on when the second photo was taken it weighed twenty nine point four kilos.
“A few hundred?” Jane answered, though it was obvious that it was just a guess. “They were paired off and put in different environments to see how they adapt.”
“Why would you pair them off?”
“I think it was to see if some would branch out and become their own species” Jane answered as she checked her watch. Seeing the time she sped up. “See, when something with BB-F828 finds itself in a desert, it might adapt to the point that it grows a hump like a camel. Or grow gills if they are in the ocean. The original purpose was for human survivability on other planets. We thought if we could discover how the adaptations work, and it could be repeated exactly the same over and over again, we could do something for humans. After all you wouldn't want anything unexpected to happen when you're in the middle of growing another set of arms or a dorsal fin, right?”Jane said. “But to do this we needed lots of subjects and all in their own environments. Each one had their own surprises, after all, evolution is random. Favors some things over others. One species can branch out to be dozens or hundreds. Thousands with enough time and environmental factors. When the tardigrades started displaying more predatory behavior we thought it was due to the change in diet and the increase in protein, but now we think its due to the rapid change. It drives them insane. All of this was surprising, but none as surprising as the ‘dirt rats’.”
“Wait. They are all insane? Also, dirt rats?” I asked, flipping the photo over to show the next one. This one revealed what I thought was a bear, but when I was about to flip it over to look at the next one I noticed its teeth. Thats when I noticed that it was a huge, muscular rat.
“Six breeding pairs, all kept in an empty pool full of dirt. They weren't given enough room to get out of the dirt, so they had to adapt to living in it. Anyways, because they are in the dirt its harder to keep track of what they are doing. Because of that, by the time we discovered that they had burrowed their way out of the facility it was too late. They were gone.”
“Gone? What do you mean?”
“Escaped,” Jane whispered. “And they are growing.”
“Growing?”
“Last I heard, they were nearly sixty feet but we honestly don't know. It's not like we can compare them to anything else.”
“Sixty feet?” I laughed. “Someone would have saw them by—”
“Underground” Jane said with a shake of her head. “They are underground. I know it's hard to believe, but how else can you explain those earthquakes in Chicago? New York?”
“Are you saying there are giant rats under those cities?”
“I am saying they aren't rats anymore. They are something else entirely. I am saying six breeding pairs might not sound like a lot, but rats reproduce so quickly it's terrifying. I am saying that they are so big and there are so many of them that they are causing those earthquakes. I am saying that due to their size they burn off lots of calories and some have evolved to hibernating.”
“Why hibernation?”
“No idea, but when they wake up they are going to be very hungry. Ravenous.”
“Any idea when that might be?” I asked.
Jane shrugged. “Some already have. We just covered it up.”
It might have been my apophenia talking, but with that statement I started seeing the bigger picture and asked Jane about the town that went missing (The story I was working on before her DVD reached me). Jane gave me the politician's answer, saying something without actually saying something, and that was enough to confirm that I was indeed on the right track.
Unfortunately Jane and I did not speak for much longer, she got a call that freaked her out and she took off. Before she left she took the folder and the pictures I was still going through. I haven't seen or heard from her since and have dropped the story about the disappearances that have secretly been plaguing our country.
WAE