Cardin walked down the hall in the middle of the night, clutching his bag tightly, even as he tried to keep calm his emotions began to get out of his grasp. The reason for all his nocturnal escapade and anxiety was the faunus mating season, although humans were mostly ignored by faunus during it, he knew one exception.
Although this exception seemed harmless, it was only an appearance. Because during the mating season, Velvet Scarletina turned into a cock-hungry monster. The sex itself wasn't a problem but the fact that she liked it raw. Cardin himself didn't want to be father of litther at age of 19.
Fortunately for him, this season fell during the holidays, so he will be able to hide in the Vale until Scarletina is fertile. All he had to do was get to the landing pad and grab his private bullhead that was there just for this occasion.
He reached the emergency door and looked around the corridor, after making sure that the corridor was empty, he opened the door. His eyes showed a very angry Velvet. Winchester was stunned, how did she got here?
Taking advantage of his shock, Scarletina jumped onto him, catching him in an iron grip-"You really thought that you can escape me?"
The powerfully built paladin recoiled from the sudden impact-"Ugh!"-knight regained footing and suprised looked into Scarlerina's eyes-"How did you know?"-asked disoriented.
"I simply installed an alarm on your door just in case. It being set off at 2 am was clear sign of your plan birdy." - Velvet said, proud of her cleverness - "You'll have to compensate me for waking up so early."
Cardin swallowed, realizing what this could mean. Velvet, seeing that the captured bird wasn't trying to escape, placed her head on his shoulder. - "I'm glad you understood your situation, then we can go to one of the empty rooms where you can compensate me. "
Winchester sighed, this was going to be a very long night. He grabbed her by the waist and turned away from the emergency door, walking quickly trying to forget about his defeat. With the girl in his arms, he stopped in front of one of the unused rooms and entered it after making sure they were alone.
Once inside, Velvet got off the larger student and closed the door. Satisfied with the situation she found herself in, she rubbed her hands hapilly, the bunny faunus was bursting with energy, which planted seeds of fear into Paladin.
A cheerful Scarletina sat down on one of the beds and took off her pants and panties. Velvet smiled when she saw where his eyes went and patted her exposed thigh to summon him. This aroused Winchester's ire, Cardin straightened to his full height, mating season or not, he won't be sub!
Elated with pride, Cardin walked up to the sitting bunny faunus and as he stood over her, glared at her with anger. Winchester unzipped his pants and pulled out his member - "If you want me to do it, you'll have to earn it." - this surprised Velvet very much, she didn't expect that her little bird would decide to overthrow her rule over him.
Her masochistic nature combined with raging hormones won over her momentary self-confidence. Velvet took his cock into her mouth without complaining. Pleased with the turn of events, Cardin patted her head-"Good girl."
The bunny faunus purred as she licked his meatrod. Remembering the promised reward for good behavior, she tried to bring him to the limit as quickly as possible.
She moved her head rhythmically, Winchester's length quickly disappearing inside again and again. Scarletina didn't forget about using her tongue, that danced along its entire length. Cardin breathed a sigh of relief inside, there was a chance that he would be able to tame Velvet's breeding urge thanks to her submissive personality.
To hide a moment of hesitation, the Knight grabbed the faunus by the ears. Using them as handle, he decided to push Scarlatina's oral hole to limit. Pumping in and out completely destroying Velvet's rythm. Her first instinct was to grab his thighs to stop his brutal attack.
She looked up to his eyes only to meet with Winchester's angry expression. Realizing her possition under human, Velvet decided to surrender to his movements. Cardin smirked-' maybe this dreaded mating season, wouldn't be so bad? Some discipline and his bunny will behave like always.' -happily said in his mind.
Velvet took his treatment much better than he expected, she adapted to new pace and started to use her tongue once more. Surprise for sure but welcome one. Cardin could feel himself getting near grand finale, so he decided to speed up even more.
Scarlatina started to gag on his dick that started to get deeper than before, she quickly realized what was coming. Winchester didn't bother to warn her, he just made his final assult on her throat and cummed inside. The bunny faunus swallowed the entire load without hesitation, the knight stood motionless before her for a moment, with huff of relief, he pulled his member out of her and released her ears.
Velvet wiped her mouth and furrowed her brows, yet she stayed silent thanks the promised reward. She climbed further onto the bed and lay on her back, then grabbed her thighs to make room for Cardin. The knight snorted - "Didn't you forget about magic word?"
Bunny faunus whinned-"Oh come on! You had promised!"-Cardin stood unshaken, he wanted to hear her beg. He took sadistic pleasure from seeing strong girls on their knees begging for him, Yang's or Pyrrha's resistance was fun to work around but in his opinion, greatest pleasure laid in complete dominance over his partners.
"Please Cardin! Give the bunny a reward."- Velvet cried out tearfully. Cardin smirked, bunny was behaving like it should-"That's what i wanted to hear." - Saying this, he climbed onto the bed between Scarletina's thighs.
Taking a convenient position, he attacked her vagina like a hawk would fall onto a defenseless rabbit. He moved his mouth to her's vagina lips and gave them a long lick, Velvet almost clapped her thighs on him. He lapped her thoroughly, not giving her a moment's respite.
Faunus arched her back in pleassure thanks to Cardin finally addressing her needs. She grabbed the knight's head and pressed him harder against her pussy, Winchester's tongue diving into her entrence. Scarletina moaned loudly in ecstasy, thats what she had needed this season. She could feel herself getting so close to release!
Meanwhile down there, Cardin wasn't stopping. His tangue dancing in her precious hole, trying to reach every corner. His chaotic style of eating out girls was making great progress in turning Velvet into wet babling mess. Scarlatina arched her back even more and with sudden release, she flooded Winchester's mouth-"Oh shit!"-bunny faunus screamed.
Cardin tried to back off but Velvet's grasp was far mightier than he expected, she forced his head to stay in place when she climated. 'Karma is a bitch', knight thought to himself.
Scarletina plopped down on the bed - "Phew, one of the best i ever had." - said releasing his head. Winchester stood up without saying anything, Velvet looked at her partner. The sight of Cardin wet and very angry made her blood run cold - "Something wrong birdy?" - faunus asked in sweet tone, 'it is going to turn ugly'-Scarletina's brain screamed.
Winchester spat on the floor, still without speaking, he approached the girl - "Cardin...come on. It was just little squirt" - Velvet said scarred. The knight still didn't answer, simply he grabbed girl and turned her on her back - "Maybe but bunny forgot her place." - pissed off, Winchester climbed onto the bed and pinned his partner.
Scarletina squealed when she felt his penis on her buttocks - "What are you doing!?" - she screamed in fear, trying to get away from the man, who put his hand around her neck to hold her in place- "I'm doing what you like. Going in raw."
Velvet squealed again and began to squirm as she felt Cardin's cock move against her ass. Winchester didn't let her escape, he pressed her harder against the bed. His penis circled around her anal entrance sending waves of terror throught her-"Cardin! Stop, i beg you! This is the wrong hole! IT IS WRONG HOLE."-Scarlatina whinned, she may have been masochist but anal wasn't her cup of tea.
Winchester laughed sadistically and got ready to enter his bunny. With a quick, decisive movement, he penetrated the lips of Velvet's vagina. They lied in silence for a moment, Scarletina turning to her partner with a grimace of anger on her face, "Really?"
Cardin smiled innocently-"I said I would do it as you like." -saying this he started to move. The bunny faunus was still outraged by his behavior, but her anger quickly began to dissolve under the stimulation. His penis slowly and tenderly exploring her insides felt soo relaxing after hours of burning urge from mating season.
Winchester decided to change position, he got on his knees and raised Scarletina's bunny buns, letting go of her throat his hand felt on the girl's head pressing her to the pillow. Finding pumping his lover easier in this position, knight started to sped up.
"Oh yes!"-Velvet moaned into pillow when she felt Cardin speed up, Winchester only groaned in reply. Knight's hips were hitting Scarlatina's shapely ass faster and faster, Cardin's eyes fell on her pretty ass cheeks. The young man released his partner's head, raised his free hand and slapped Velvet's right ass cheek.
"Ouch!"-faunus girl moaned from smack on her backside-"You really have to?"-Cardin replied with another smack, Scarletina huffed angrily but didn't do anything to protest because both of them knew that she liked to be treated this way.
Winchester felt that he was getting near his limit, he decided to smack her ass for last time and grab her ears. Of course he wouldn't finish inside, he wasn't an idiot. But before he could carry out his plan, Scarlatina grabbed his hand and threw him over her back.
The knight couldn't even react, before he knew it he was lying on his back under Velvet. Without further ado, Scarlatina took her place on his penis again(yes, it was her and no hussy will take it from her), the faunus smilled sweetly looking into his eyes-"As i love you honey, somethings woman has to take charge herself. "-She grabbed his shoulders and dug her nails into them. "You're going to give me this litter whether you want it or not. "-she said menacingly.
Winchester swallowed hard, this was the end . Scarlatina rose on his dick, then lowered herself again - "Yehaw Pardner, i am happy to see that had come to agreedment." - Velvet happily said jumping on his dick. Her backside landing on Winchester croach, now Cardin fought against himself to not cum.
HE HAD TO GET RID OFF OF HER, knight was panicking in his head trying to come up with a plan. What he could do to kill the mood? It wasn't easy to acomplish with horny faunus girl on dick, every disgusting or creepy shit was being blowt out of his mind thanks to Velvet's vagina wrapping around his length.
He could try to say something racist but he knew well that this dirty faunus was into raceplay. Realizing that his mind was blank, Winchester decided to enjoy last moments before becoming soon to be daddy.
Cardin grabbed Scarlatina's things and slammed her onto him. Velvet screamed in shock, she didn't expect her birdy to speed up things. 'He also wants to see babbies!'-bunny faunus thought to herself happily. Winchester gave Velvet no time to adjust, he started to slam her faster and faster onto base of his dick.
Both of them losing themself in sensation, before they knew, both of young lovers reached their limit. Scarlatina ended up furiously squirting over her partner, when he shot his seed deep inside of her.
Depleted of energy, Velvet collapsed next on to her armorless knight. Both of them drifting off into the blissful embrace of sleep.
2 months later
Velvet was seating on toilet reading her pregnacy test results, seeing the result her bunny ears flopped - "I am a bloody idiot."

After being disappointed by so much current horror, I decided to try a throwback novel. A bit of digging in the library catalogue produced Dark Hollow by Brian Keene. A book about a horny satyr trying to knock out the old dirty with all the women in a sleepy suburb of Pennsylvania? Sign me up.
It wasn't perfect, but it was fun. Flawed, yes, particularly when it came to the male understanding of what females prefer in bed, but the characters were lively and realized and made me care about them. I didn't like the main character, Adam Senft, but I did feel for him, and I was rooting for him and his friends to succeed in their half-baked, unoriginal plan. The losses, when they came, stung, and I might have made an indecorous sound when the grand climax unfolded.
However, I couldn't shake the feeling that Mr. Keene was a bit foggy on how vaginas work. Some folks might like being…serviced by Megalodong, but being jackhammered by a demonic schlong nearly a foot long like a recalcitrant oil well by a crazed oil derrick is not usually a good time. This is even truer if it is your first trip on the carnal ride. So I doubt very much these ladies were having a glorious time. Yes, I know they were supposed to be entranced, but it was also implied that it made them tell the truth and reveal their deepest desires. I promise no one enjoys being pounded until they bleed. Promise.
The climax–no pun intended–degenerates into chaotic cheese and convenient characterization on the part of a detective who just decides to roll with all of this because a guy he questioned once said so, but it was clearly written with verve and joy, so kudos to that.
It's not scary, but it is worth a read if you want some camp horror cheese that gives off '80s vibes despite being written in the 2000.

T-Minus 1 week until the next edition of the very contest we all love and enjoy. We are approaching the best of the best that this contest has to offer, as we are in the top 20! These countries represent 40 of the 50 highest ranked songs since 1975, which just shows how much all of these countries have contributed to the longest running singing competition.

The Countries

Placement	Country	Score
16	Malta	140231.278
17	Spain	138804.573
18	Austria	125761.301
19	Finland	120225.116
20	Turkey	118659.853

We are getting some big hitters now! At #20, we have Turkey, who first participated at the start of this time period and is really a late bloomer to this competition, as they started to get consistently great results in the 2000s, the last full decade they would participate in. Coming in in front of Turkey is our second Nordic nation in Finland, who like Turkey really struggled to place well at this competition until their Magnum opus arrived, which really shook the foundation of who could win at this contest, and since then have really started to come into their own, embracing their wacky nature. Above them is Austria, who is the oldest ESC nation on this list so far, getting their start in only the contest’s second year, 1957. They actually had one of the longest winless streaks in Eurovision since their first win in 1966, taking 48 tries after that to claim their second crown. Our first “Big Five” nation comes up at #17, with Spain, as they are part of some of the wackiest results ever at this contest, and in back to back years as well! The reason why they are the lowest ranked “Big Five” nation is because they really bottomed out in the 2000s and 2010s, only recently finding redemption in the early 2020s. And at #16 on our list is Malta, who have participated in every edition of ESC since ‘91, and is the best performing country to never win Eurovision, considering that they are the only country in the top 20 to not have one ESC crown on their resume, which is a big shame, considering the bangers they have given us over the years.
Some Notable Artists: Athena (Turkey), Blind Channel (Finland), Bravo (Spain), Chanel (Spain), Chiara (Malta), Anabel Conde (Spain), Sergio Dalma (Spain), Destiny (Malta), Sertab Erener (Turkey), Thomas Forstner (Austria), Grup Etnik (Turkey), Hadise (Turkey), Käärijä (Finland), Lordi (Finland), Ira Losco (Malta), Manga (Turkey), Betty Missiego (Spain), Şebnem Paker (Turkey), Pihasoittajat (Finland), Alf Poier (Austria), Anneli Saaristo (Finland), Cesár Sampson (Austria), Mary Spiteri (Malta), Conchita Wurst (Austria), Zoë (Austria)

The Worst Years

Austria 2015 The Makemakes - I Am Yours

Contest Ranking: 26th (last, 0 pts) My Ranking: 39th (last, -3.9)
What a difference a year makes! Coming off high from their win in 2014, their first in almost 50 years, Austria was set to host this year’s edition. As such, they had a free pass to the Grand Final, with their song “I Am Yours” performed by The Makemakes, an Austrian pop rock band. I didn’t think much of this song when I initially heard it, so imagine my shock when I saw that it didn’t receive a single point on the final scoreboard. I actually don’t know why this got last place, maybe this entry is an example of the douze points system rearing its ugly head, or maybe no one remembered to vote for this song at the end. Either way, this is a confusing entry in the Hall of nul points. And because there were so many countries that year, this song sinks far to the depths of this club.

Turkey 1987 Seyyal Taner and Grup Lokomotif - Şarkım Sevgi Üstüne

Contest Ranking: 22nd (last, 0 pts) My Ranking: 22nd (last, -2.1)
A common theme you will see here for countries like Turkey or Finland or any non Western European Country (besides Portugal), is that with the language rules, they would struggle to do well at all, especially in the 80’s and 90’s, where English was overtaking French as the dominant language of Eurovision. It would take some time for these countries to find a formula that transcends language (see Turkey 1997 for more details), but for now it would be rough sailing for Turkey and these other countries to appeal the juries. That doesn’t mean that bangers weren’t being sent in though! This song seems like it would be the opening for a space odyssey or something, it just has that feel. Unfortunately, a little nervousness would doom this performance, scoring zero points** in Belgium.

Spain 1983 Remedios Amaya - Quién maneja mi barca

Contest Ranking: 19th (last, 0 pts) My Ranking: 19th (last, -1.9)
Ok, so I kind of take back what I said about only Western European countries doing well in this era of ESC. Spain, like Portugal, struggled mightily when they entered in 1961. They already had two last place, nul point entries by the year 1968, where they would pull off one of the most infamous wins in Eurovision history, pipping the United Kingdom by a singular point. The year after they would have another infamous win at this contest, sharing the win with the UK, France, and The Netherlands. Since then, it would be alright for Spain… until this year, where they would have *another last place, nul point entry. This one probably didn’t deserve the honor, and I say “probably” because after listening to this song, I’m confused on where it should place. Probably not last though. People say that ESC was not ready for this type of music, which I probably agree with, I just don’t know when ESC would be ready for this type of music though.
** Turkey only has two entries that have scored nul points at ESC, with the other one being in 1983

Finland 1982 Kojo - Nuku pommiin

Contest Ranking: 18th (last, 0 pts) My Ranking: 22nd (last, -1.7)
Like I said, tough sledding for the non Western European Countries, especially tough for the Nordic nations, who really were seen as jokes at this competition for the longest time (really until Sweden and Norway went back to back in ‘84 and ‘85). Fortunately for Finland, this time period gets rid of two other last place, nil point performances in 1963 and 1965. This also doesn’t count their 1 point performance in 1968, but I think you get the point. They have finished last six** Other times since 1975 however, and since they do not have as many hits as their Nordic contemporaries (sans Iceland), they are only 19th. Anyway, while Germany ran away with the contest singing a song about peace (another ESC staple), Finland would obtain last place with a song about peace, in particular a song about protesting nuclear bombs. While Germany’s song was a neatly composed song that was nice on the ears, this one is the complete opposite, so it’s fitting that this one finished last. I would say more but I don’t want to listen to this song again, so…
** Six last place performances in the Grand Final, they have an additional two last place finishes in the semifinals.

Malta 2017 Claudia Faniello - Breathlessly

Contest Ranking: DNQ (16th 2nd Semifinal , 55 pts) My Ranking: 22nd (41st, 0.062)
Malta surprisingly has not had an entry receiving nul points (though 2016 and 2023 are very, very close). But they have struggled to qualify in the last 8 years, only qualifying twice in that span. This entry was one that did not make the cut, a decent ballad that just didn’t work with enough people, which is unfortunate. Malta used to rule with dramatic ballads, in fact, all of their top 3 finishes (sans 2002), were ballads, so they do know what they are doing in this department. Maybe like Ireland, their type of ballads just don’t work anymore in modern Eurovision, which is sad to say, but maybe Malta can reinvent themselves and be back on top one day!

The Best Years

Malta 2021 Destiny - Je me casse

Contest Ranking: 7th (255 pts) My Ranking: 6th (398.4*)
Surprised? Like I said earlier Malta have sent in some classics to this competition, this one included. Despite the fact that there are at least 3 other songs with higher placements, none of them were able to outperform Destiny, our second COVID participant! Before this entry, she was more well known for winning Eurovision for Malta! Well, it was actually Junior Eurovision, but still, that is a heck of an achievement to have in your locker. She has also appeared on Britain’s Got Talent, and she has also won the X Factor in Malta, so safe to say she definitely has the talent to compete! From the ESC website, she says that her dream was to represent Malta and obtain that first victory for her country, and with the support of former Maltese entrant Ira Losco, she would get the chance to do so with her song “All of My Soul” for ESC 2020… and well you know what happened after that. But for 2021, she will have another opportunity to achieve her dream with her new song “Je Me Casse”. This song is just energy personified. Destiny said that her influences for singing were Lizzo, Beyonce, Aretha Franklin, Cardi B, and Megan Thee Stallion, women who are known for their energy that they bring to every performance. She definitely brings it here, with her song about empowerment and breaking free. Destiny has a powerful voice as well, which really helps bring out the emotion in this song, commanding the attention of everyone who watched it! When I heard this song for the first time, I immediately thought she would win, the song just has that winning energy surrounding it, and Destiny is the main reason why. Unfortunately for Destiny and for Malta, while this song would finish in the top 10, it would not be the one for the country, as they end up 7th, which is pretty respectable considering the stacked lineup for this year. Even more unfortunately for Malta, they haven’t qualified to the Grand Final since that year (even though it’s only been two years). Who knows, maybe in the future Destiny can come back for Malta to get the elusive crown, if Portugal can win one, anything is possible.

• This song is ranked 68th of all entries since 1975

Turkey 2004 Athena - For Real

Contest Ranking: 4th (195 pts) My Ranking: 4th (401.842*)
The most points Turkey has ever received at Eurovision, which is crazy to say considering the renaissance they were going through at the time. No it’s not their only win that takes the top spot (3 way battles tend to make the winner’s score weaker, and according to my formula Turkey didn’t even win this year), but rather the entry after it, that does. Meet the rock/ska band Athena, regarded as one of the best rock bands in Turkey. The band got their start in 1987, formed by twin brothers Gökhan Özoğuz and Hakan Özoğuz. After releasing their first album, they switched their style from rock centered to ska centered, which is like a fusion of punk rock and ska music (basically there are a lot of trumpets, trombones, and woodwind instruments). Once they switched their style they caught fire in Turkey, which culminated in a large tour of their country as well as opening for the Rolling Stones(!). They were selected by the Turkish broadcaster to be the host’s act for ESC 2004. I was wondering what this song was, considering that I didn’t recognize it when I started writing this piece. But then the song started, and I was like “Oh, this song”, which is nothing against the band, because this song is pretty decent! The ska influence still rings large in this entry, with the horns blaring throughout the song. Songs like this tend to be really catchy, with this one being no exception. Other examples of songs like this that I can name off the top of my head are “Alcohol is Free” in 2013 and Turkey’s future entry in “We Could Be The Same” in 2010. While "For Real" may not have been immediately recognizable to some compared to the other two, its infectious charm quickly captures attention. It finished 4th, showcasing the future promise of songs from this region, while continuing Turkey’s strong period that would disappointingly end with their withdrawal in the early 2010s.
This entry is ranked 65th of all songs since 1975.

Spain 2022 Chanel - SloMo

Contest Ranking: 3rd (459 pts) My Ranking: 3rd (481.959**)
Their best result in decades, and it is in the most sexy Spanish way! After a turbulent 2010s, which included several finishes in the 20s, a last place finish (which contained a legendary voice crack), it seemed to be more of the same in the 2020s, as their 2021 entry only received 6 measly points and a 24th placement. Then Chanel appeared. Born in Cuba, Chanel Terrero Martínez moved to Spain at the age of 6. Once she moved to Spain, she began taking acting, singing, and ballet classes, culminating in her beginning her musical theater journey when she was 16. Chanel featured in many Spanish shows and musical productions, and she almost got the part of the musical West Side Story, directed by Steven Spilburg. Notice how I haven’t mentioned much about her singing, it’s because her musical career started very recently! Chanel decided to participate in Benidorm Fest 2022, with her debut single called “SloMo”. This song had a lot of hands in production, as Chanel worked with stars like Jennifer Lopez, Britney Spears, among others. The effort would be worth it, as she won the Festival, claiming her ticket to Turin for ESC 2022. The last time Spain finished in the Top 5, you would have to go all the way back to the year 1995, with Anabel Conde delivering a Eurovision classic with the song "Vuelve conmigo", which finished 2nd to Norway’s entry. That song was a slow, methodical ballad, this song is the complete opposite, it leaves almost everyone (including the singer) breathless! Like with Destiny, this song is pure energy, but this entry falls in line with the typical “sexy Spanish energy”, and when you look at the performance (this link is for the Benidorm version), I mean, the woman literally says “booty hypnotic” about 6 times! Singing wise, it’s nothing special, but the performance really takes this to another level. It’s like Spain got the memo that Latvia sent out about how performance really drives an entry about 20 years too late. But they definitely got the message alright! It must be difficult to be a fan of Spain at Eurovision, considering that the country has been swimming in mediocrity along with its fellow Big Five brethren (except for Italy and sometimes France/UK, but definitely with Germany). But when the stars align, this is what Spain can do, and it’s so amazing when they do it! Spain in this contest's history really surprises you when they do well, and then you wonder why they can’t do this more often, only to disappear until the next great performance, rinse and repeat. Maybe after this entry and last year’s one (which got robbed of a better placement), Spain can finally flex their might at this competition, and one day we may go back to Spain for an ESC!
** This song is one of the Top 50 ESC songs since 1975.

Austria 2014 Conchita Wurst - Rise Like a Phoenix

Contest Ranking: 1st (290 pts) My Ranking: 1st (602.765**)
48 years between podium finishes, but what a way to do it! Austria occupies an interesting place within ESC lore. At the beginning of their journey, they weren’t much of anything, and it took a certain Udo Jürgens performing three times in back to back to back years to finally take the crown for the country. Since then, nothing much, just wading in the ESC waters, with the occasional decent tune once in a while. Then comes 2014. Austria up to this point were not known to be that influential in Eurovision, but then there was Conchita Wurst, who changed that perception in about 3 minutes. But first, some backstory. Conchita Wurst is the drag persona of Tom Neuwirth, who had a long career before joining the ESC stage. He was the founding member of a boy band in the early 2010s, and before that embarked on his singing career through an Austrian casting show. In 2011, Tom would start appearing as Conchita Wurst, a name literally meaning “Vagina (Spanish slang) Penis (German slang)” Conchita is also well noted for having a beard, a decision consciously made because as Tom/Conchita put it, “you can achieve anything, no matter who you are or how you look”. In 2012, Conchita almost became the representative for Austria at Eurovision, but narrowly lost out to Trackshittaz by 2% of the vote. In 2014, Conchita would not need a vote, as the national broadcaster would select Wurst and the song “Rise Like A Phoenix” to perform in Copenhagen. Now Conchita’s inclusion in ESC did not come without its outroar of disapproval, specifically from conservative groups in Eastern Europe. There were even petitions made for the local broadcasters to cut out Conchita’s performance entirely. Of course there were comparisons made between Conchita and Dana International, not only because of the LGBT likeness but also because of the threats and disapproval they both received prior to the contest. This disapproval would extend onto the ESC stage, as Armenia’s representative that year would make various remarks about how Conchita wasn’t living a “natural life”. That wouldn’t stop the drag queen however, as Wurst would go on to deliver a stunning ballad, appropriately about how she would rise from the ashes of her haters to become stronger. It reminds me of James Bond music, just with the horns and the overall vibe of the song. The entry was meant to be serious and on that note it succeeded, and overall it just has the commanding energy that so many winning songs demonstrate. This entry would not only win for Austria, breaking a nearly 50 year drought*, but would become one of the most iconic ESC entries of the 21st century, maybe even ever! Like with 1998, this would open the door for LGBT visibility in this contest, something that would only be embraced more and more in the years since this song took gold.
** This song is one of the Top 50 ESC songs since 1975. *** He would say that those comments were a joke, but you get the picture **** The 2010’s (and some of the 2020s) overall were really an era of breaking droughts. You got Germany (first since 1982), Azerbaijan (first ever), Sweden (first since 1999), Denmark (first since 2001), Austria (first since 1966), Sweden (first since 2012 lol), Ukraine (first since 2004), Portugal (first ever), Israel (first since 1998), and the Netherlands (first since 1975) all winning. Maybe countries like France (1977), Spain (1969) the UK (1998), even Ireland (1997, and who am I kidding, this drought will not be broken for a long time) could break their droughts as well?

Finland 2023 Käärijä - Cha Cha Cha

Contest Ranking: 2nd (526 pts) My Ranking: 1st (732.848**)
All of the songs on this list have surprised me, sans Austria and Spain. Finland’s best ever performing entry prior to 2023 was Lordi’s “Hard Rock Halleujah”, an entry that broke the barrier on what type of entries could win at this competition. Lordi’s song will forever remain in ESC lore, and for Finland it would be at the top of a surprisingly lackluster list. Outside of Lordi,there is only one other entry that has a score of over 150 (basically Top 7ish) prior to 2023, which was Blind Channel’s song “Dark Side” in 2021. Finland when it comes to the power of Scandinavia at this contest are really only above Iceland when it comes to performance and impact. The other three countries are loaded with iconic songs and impact to this competition, something that Finland has been lacking, until recently. Of course there’s Lordi and in 2021 there was Blind Channel, but both of those songs demonstrate what Finland can bring to this competition, which is hard party rock, and that is perfectly demonstrated with the song many people thought should have won, “Cha Cha Cha”, performed by Käärijä. Käärijä, or Jere Mikael Pöyhönen is a rapper and songwriter, known for his bowl cut and his shirtlessness, with the ladder having a nice sentiment driving it.*** There are many more things that he is known for and has done, from how his name is a play on the word for gambling in Finnish, to how he mostly performed shirtless due to the fact that his original yellow suit would get too hot, but you are all here for me to talk about the song, so let’s get to it. There are many similarities between this song and “Hard Rock Hallejah”, but the similarity that matters most is the fact that these songs are so unapologetically themselves. They both invite you to join their worlds, promising a hell of a time if one were to accept the invitation. While Lordi’s song involved the “acrocoplis” this song involves a party, a crazy party, nonetheless. I think what works the best for this song is that despite the fact that all of the lyrics are in Finnish, the first time that has happened for Finland since 2010, the chorus is where everyone can let loose, and boy does it let you. The roars you hear when the audience says “CHA CHA CHA CHA CHA CHA CHA EY” are really a testament to how much energy this song has (I feel like I’ve said this a lot today). This song is pure fun, and it’s such a joy to go through all of the acts with Käärijä. Did this song deserve to win? Well… yes and no. This song did get the highest televoting percentage of any entry not named “Stefania”, even surpassing Portugal’s entry in 2017. And if you see my contest ranking, according to my formula it placed first. On those fronts, it deserved to win. Does this song carry more winning energy than Sweden? Yes, but then I’m reminded of 2007, and how the more serious song (“Molitva”) won over the more campy fun song ("Dancing Lasha Tumbai"). From the history of ESC, the more serious songs win out most of the time, so I can see why this song didn’t surpass Sweden. Do I think this song deserved to win? Well I’m torn. Both songs have the potential to win, and I love both of them for different reasons. I could talk about it more, but this is a Finland post, and this song could have the impact of Ukraine 2007, even if it didn’t win. What this song has done is raise Finland’s profile in ESC and in my rankings, because without this song Finland may be below Iceland in the rankings.
** This song is one of the Top 50 ESC songs since 1975. *** Basically Käärijä said that going topless should be more accepted, no matter what size you are, which is a pretty cool message if you ask me.

Final Thoughts

So what do you think? Do you believe that Finland deserved to win last year? Which country here has delivered the biggest impact to ESC? Will Malta ever join the winner’s circle at Eurovision? And who will be next?

Meninos e meninas, tenho uma pergunta: vocês acham que uma vagina por dentro, discreta, é mais bonita, apenas com o risco de ser uma menina, ou preferem com os lábios salientes para fora?

(15 anos, menina) antes de tudo, queria deixar claro que a chance é mínima, sou virgem, e, sendo um tanto quanto direta, não houve gozada na minha vagina, o pau esfregou perto mas o negócio mesmo foi pra minha boca. a relação foi domingo, no meu dia de ovulação. todas as minhas amigas me disseram a mesma coisa: é quase impossível. porém, hoje me deu uma pequena cólica e já fiquei muito desesperada. meu namorado demostrou muita compreensão e também me disse que era muito difícil de acontecer, que estaria comigo caso qualquer coisa, o que faço? tem alguma forma de me acalmar? pensei na pílula do dia seguinte na primeira dúvida, mas me disseram que não seria necessário e acabou passando. EDIT: muito obrigada pelos conselhos! sou uma pessoa bem paranóica e só após esses comentários consegui me acalmar um pouco. e, sim, houve muita falta de cuidado, sabemos disso!! houve um grande sentimento de culpa pelo descuido mas não iremos mais cometer o mesmo erro. muito obrigada pela educação!!

Tuve un sueño bastante raro anoche y os lo voy a contar a vosotros. Por desgracias, creo que ya se me olvidaron algunas partes, así que os voy a contar sólo lo que me acuerdo tal cual.
​
En la primera parte, Estaba en Minecraft Skyblock, y crafteé un esclavo de caña de azúcar. Eso es sólo lo que recuerdo de esta parte.
En la segunda parte, creo que una limpiadora vino a nuestra habitación, y la limpió. Ella limpiaba el suelo con una toalla azul clara.
Como os dije antes, no me acuerdo tantos detalles de lo que ocurrió en las partes anteriores, sin embargo me acuerdo la última parte mejor que las demás.
​
En la tercera parte, había un pez blanco que se comía otros peces. No era un pez muy grande, sino un pez de el tamaño de alrededor de la palma de una humana. Parecía que el pez disfrutaba engordándose por tragando peces de casi su propio tamaño enteramente. Tras comerse tanto peces, el pez dejo de nadar y se paro, quedándose flotando en el agua sin moverse mucho. El pez se abrió la boca y empezó a vomitar algo.
¿Podéis adivinar lo que se vomitó?
no creo que jamás lo adivinaríais lo que vomitó si no os lo dijera. Vomitó un pez hecho de carne rebanada de mismo tamaño al que le vomitó. Tenía seis ojos, tres ojos un lado y tres ojos en el lado opuesto. Después de un ratito, el pez pestañeó, luego empezó a moverse y nadar como un pez cualquiera. Su aspecto/aparecía era igual que el de le dio a iuz, pero la única difrencia era que tenía más ojos. El pez nuevo sólo pestañeaba con su ojos centrales, y los demas ojos no eran reales, pero se parecen ojos verdaderos un montón, pueden engañarle a alguien que fueran reales.
Al despertarme, me dio algo de meido el pez que nació por la boca de otro en lugar que la vagina.

In the aot fandom, I met this woman, whom I suspect was borderline crazy or perhaps autistic. I didn't ask for nudes but she is brainless enough to harass me with them.She sent me pictures of her vagina and in the Muslim tribe where she belongs, it's a blessing if a woman likes you. For me, it's not a blessing, it's a curse if it's coming from an ugly woman like her 🤣🤣 Listen, ladies, nudes only work if you are a beautiful woman.
I never had any sort of interest on this woman even she photographed all layers of her vagina. Like I said, she's ugly. I blocked the shit out of this ugly woman and she stalked me by using at least 30 different accounts on Twitter. Man, that crazy woman is prepared. She wears a hijab and all and her culture b++ts women for showing an ankle but here she is sending me her naked pictures ,🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮 I thought Muslim women are expensive, you have to pay a dowry of at least $20 grand. But this mentally disturbed woman is free to any white man. I've discovered that she wants to go to America to leave her poor country Indonesia.

When I was a baby, I had borderline insomnia. On the nights my mother was desperate, she would bring me out onto the porch, and within minutes of basking in the starlight, I would be asleep. That’s how she used to tell it, anyway.
It explains why every time I stand on this porch, even during my watches, I feel some level of comfort. Parts of myself are so deeply ground into this house that I can feel it beneath my skin when the old wooden bones creak in the night.
It had been a few days since I’d first met the beast that haunted my dreams and also that weird cow thing. The rain earlier in the week had somehow left the ground much drier once it all evaporated, and the animals were dustier than tofu in an abattoir. There wasn’t a cloud in sight that morning. As much as I would’ve liked to waste the day away on the porch with a glass of Aunt Jean’s anomalously acquired lemonade, it was Barnyard Bath Day.
I put the chickens in Bath Jail (a puppy pen placed nearby so I could keep an eye on them, with Bath Jail scrawled on a cardboard sign and a shallow pan of warm water inside) and tried to decide who would be my first victim. Either Aunt Jean or a very ineffective cow thief had already brought Milkshake and Dairy Queen to the barn. I ultimately gave in to the fact that it would be best to do the most difficult of my clients first.
It took three sugar cubes just to get Hephaestus out of the barn and another to keep him from running off when I turned on the water nozzle. He wasn’t scared by any of it; I would’ve found a less obtrusive way to bathe him if he had been. He was just annoyed, like he was with pretty much everything. A bastard, for sure, but a bastard I couldn’t imagine life without.
Hephaestus, nothing if not predictable, took a solid hour and a half to bathe and another hour to brush out, mainly because whenever I lifted the brush and started to walk off, he would grumble at me. When he was clean, I walked him to the pasture to get some of his energy out and dry off. Then, it was time to reopen the car wash.
Sally, seeing clear evidence that it was Bath Day through the open barn door, stood in the doorway, bleating at me. I knew that the cobwebs on the barn ceiling were a menace, and she was always keen to get her orange hair scrubbed out and brushed.
“Do you want to go next, Miss Sally Ann?”
Bleat.
“Oh, I bet you do. You’ve been visiting the roofboards more than usual. I bet you’re Dirt City.”
Bleat.
“Come on over here then, Sally Ann Thunder Ann Whirlwind.”
She yelled at me one more time before trotting over. She enjoyed Bath Day the most and would even let me polish her hooves. Her husband, though… he was an entirely different story. Davy Crockett was big and bad enough to send Black Phillip running back home to his Lake of Fire. And he wasn’t afraid to tell me how much he hated his bath. I almost got a foot right to the face.
When they were done, I sent them out to the pasture with Heph. Milkshake and Dairy Queen always had to be bathed together. I had never thought that cows could have such extreme separation anxiety before I bought Milkshake. Cows need companions, and my steer French Fry had passed away from old age. I’d gotten her in town for ten dollars, and when I asked why she was being sold for such an insanely low price, the man simply replied with “cow broke” and invited me to lay a hand on her. She was constantly emitting gentle vibrations like she had an engine inside of her. But if she was a robot, she was a convincing one. I named her Milkshake.
If you saw Dairy Queen, you saw Milkshake, no exceptions. They were inseparable. Maybe they were best friends, maybe something more. I was in no place to judge a lesbian cow.
The last two to be bathed were also a unique challenge. My sow, Hermia, was old and patient enough. But her son, Hamlet, couldn’t stay still to save his life. The little piglet had always been a piglet.
I asked my dad about it once when we’d kept more pigs. He’d just said, “Little hen, he can’t change who he is any more than we can change who we are. Maybe he just can’t bear to get old.” That was enough of an explanation for me. Not everything needs a reason. Sometimes things just are, and that’s alright in my book.
Getting Hamlet bathed always ended with me drenched, and that time was no different. When mother and son were finished, I looked like I’d taken a leisurely stroll into the Amazon Rainforest. Hamlet gave me the most generous thank you of burping in my face before getting the zoomies the second I put him down.
Once everyone was clean, the sun was already half-hiding behind the treetops. I ensured the Girls were warm and dry after their stint in the bath pan, then cleaned the coop. Hairy had the decency to respect the sanctity of Bath Day, and back in the hens went once it was tidy. I got all the animals back to their designated places, made sure they were fed and comfortable, and then I went to take a bath of my own. Dawson was coming over, and I’d be damned if I let that asshole call me smelly.
I ran the water as hot as it would go and scrubbed until my already-aching hands cried out ‘no more.’ When I got out of the bath, I was a little wobbly. Instead of realizing how dehydrated I was, I chalked it up to the usual fatigue of a hard day’s work and went to the porch.
The sun sank behind the pines. Dawson would be here any minute, so I sat down to wait for him. I’d invited him over to watch something with me. I’d meant to start it, but I didn’t trust myself to finish shows on my own. Almost immediately after I sat, everything started to turn bright yellow, and I passed out.
At some point, lost consciousness turned into groggy half-awareness, then dreamless sleep. The memories of being awake were vague: someone forcing my mouth open, water and oatmeal, and a knitted blanket thrown over me. It wasn’t hard to guess later who it was; only one of the likely suspects was present.
When I woke up, it wasn’t on the porch or even in my bed. I was lying face down in the dirt, and a worm was putting its blood, sweat, and tears into trying to crawl into my nostril. I tugged it out and flung it somewhere into the cornfield surrounding me on all sides.
A strange smell clogged my mouth and nose, and it wasn’t just worm. It also wasn’t the bloody footprints surrounding where I’d woken up, the massive kind with only one definitive source, even though I could definitely smell the sweet iron. No, the foul smell plaguing me came from the corn itself. On close examination, I could see where the bottom of some of the stalks had turned withered brown and even gray. The sight and smell both meant one thing: death was sure to follow.
I got to my feet, panic slowly building in me. All I could think of was losing most of the crop. Sure, I got what I needed to survive from the Landlady. But the farm couldn’t function without the money I earned from the harvest each year. Just as I’d decided that was my biggest problem, it was immediately dethroned.
In the moonless, faint dark of early morning, I saw a wave of grimy black mold sweeping across the ground toward me. I nearly tripped on my own feet as I stumbled back through the row. It followed me until I reached the edge of the field, and then it stopped. I thought that maybe it wouldn’t leave the cornfield. Maybe it couldn’t.
I took a shaky backward step toward the house. The black began to burble like bogwater, almost as if I’d made whatever it was angry.
“Oh, you don’t like that do you? Well I’m gonna go get in my comfy bed and you can stay out here with the Pigman. How about them apples?”
The bubbles solidified as something crawled out of the ick.
This is probably one of the worst times to step back from the action, but I have to share a memory first. When I turned double digits, my mother had a brief but intense “aliens are real” phase. She had a lot of special interests like that. I remember sitting in our living room, patching one of my favorite pairs of jeans, while my mom watched a documentary about Roswell and alien sightings in the Midwest. My mom changed the channel when they started talking about cow mutilation, but I’d seen enough.
What I saw crawling out of the black was reminiscent of the foggy, gruesome images that memory conjured. Its lower jaw hung loose and broken, missing most of the skin. The right side of its face clung to its skull in bloody shreds, and it had only one cloudy, cataract-filled eye. It huffed as it moved jerkily toward me as if every step caused it great pain. The white speckled along its black coat was not bicoloration but large patches of pale mold.
I was honestly a little pissed that I was in a standoff with this thing when I could be fast asleep in my cozy bed. Zombie cows were not a planned part of my hot gender-fluid summer.
“Nice… nice cow. I don’t want any trouble. I bet you’d like some corn, wouldn’t you? Why don’t you just stay out here and have all you want? And I’m going to go back in the house!”
I was about to turn and run for the porch when my foot caught a pothole. I fell right on my ass into the dirt driveway, and then that was when the buzzing started. I could hear flies and feel them trying to crawl in my mouth and nose, even though nothing was actually there.
“Get the fuck away from me! Go back to Hooven Hell or something!”
The rotten thing moved much faster now that I was down, and its breath smelled like moldy milk carpet. I held my breath, kicked my leg up as hard as I could, and was rewarded with a shower of cold cow intestines all over my knees as its stomach burst like a water balloon. Somehow, it didn’t seem to mind being gutted. It thumped a hoof down hard on my chest, and the air shot out of my lungs with a hacking gasp.
Its own intestines snaked up and out of its open mouth, snapping around my throat, and whenever I ripped one off, another took its place. I kicked and thrashed and finally realized that maybe I should be screaming for help, so I did. If this thing wanted me as its girl dinner, I wouldn’t make it easy.
Just when my vision was darkening, and I could feel its flat, cracked teeth against my nose, we were both bathed in harsh light. I turned and saw a truck barreling down the road toward me and my new friend. It closed the distance at full tilt, horn blaring, and the cow thing released its grip on me and sprinted back into the cornfield.
I collapsed back onto the ground, and the tires of the red Ford stopped about a foot from my face. My unlikely savior jumped from the truck, with it still running, and scooped me up out of the dirt. Without a word, Dawson threw me in the passenger seat and got back in on the other side, locking the doors.
“Are you okay?!”
I was. I mean, I was definitely a little worse for wear. I couldn’t think of a time I’d ever smelled this bad. But I was alive. And if Dawson hadn’t shown up, I probably wouldn’t have been. As much as it annoyed me to admit, if this had happened even a week ago, I would’ve been burnt toast. But I didn’t tell him that. He probably already knew anyway; it was so stupid how smart he could be sometimes.
“I’m fine. I probably would’ve been a lot more fine if I’d fallen asleep watching Good Omens last night with someone who was supposed to be here sooner!”
Dawson sheepishly drove us the short distance back to the house.
“I know, I know. I didn’t just ditch you, I swear! I was coming to apologize, actually. I brought breakfast.”
That’s when I realized what the smell that was slowly invading my nostrils and replacing all the bad ones was. There were few things that could smooth over anger like a greasy McDonald’s breakfast.
“Well, you’d better have a good excuse.”
Dawson looked around nervously and turned off the truck.
“I’ll tell you all about it, let’s just… get inside. I don’t know if that thing is gone! Oh god, my mom is going to kill me when she finds out I didn’t turn around and speed out of here with you.”
I glanced around before opening the door and making a beeline for the house. Dawson followed with the food, and I let him in first before slamming the door behind us. I wasn’t too worried about anything going after the animals, not yet, anyway. Davy Crockett had enough old man rage to level a building.
“Do you… do you have any idea what that was? Because I don’t. All I’ve got is an undead cow, which… doesn’t feel right.”
Dawson shook his head.
“Bad news is what it is. I’ve only ever gotten the feeling I got seeing that once before. It’s something evil.”
I sat down as Dawson laid out breakfast. Even after what I’d just been through, my appetite was still very much there. I swallowed a mouthful of half-chewed pancakes.
“What did you see?”
He got this deer-in-the-headlights look.
“When I was little, my family and I were visiting relatives on the Res. I saw something one night, something I shouldn’t have— something evil. My mom doesn’t really like me talking about it with strangers… or with anyone, really. It’s not that I don’t trust you, of course; it’s just…”
“No, no. I get it. We all have to have some secrets. Sometimes, it’s safer that way. Do you think this is the same kind of… thing?”
By now, dawn was breaking, and seeing the first light made me feel worlds better. I had never seen the Pigman during the day, and even if the two weren’t related, it inspired some confidence in me. Monsters didn’t like daylight, right?
“I don’t think so, but it’s nothing good either way. Could we… maybe change the subject, though? At least for a little while?”
“Well,” I said, moving onto the impressive amount of hash browns he’d brought, “we could talk about how you stood me up last night?”
Dawson sighed and drenched his pancake in syrup. After we finished eating, I would have to do my rounds. Even if I was a little angry at him, I was glad to have him here for when I had to go back outside.
“I was just getting ready to leave when my dad called me to the barn. One of our ewes went into labor, and I… I spent the night elbow-deep in sheep vagina.”
“Sheep vagina?”
Dawson laughed, but it was nervous.
“Yep. I would’ve much rather been elbow-deep in a bowl of popcorn.”
I laughed, too, but for much longer. Then I realized I couldn’t stop. I threw my hands down on the table and cackled until tears sprang up in my eyes, and they decided that this was their party now. The massive hoofprint bruise hiding beneath my shirt ached as I sobbed.
“Oh, Newport. It was a rough delivery, and by the time mom and baby were situated, and we were done, I went inside and passed out on the couch. I should’ve at least texted. All this is on me. Fuck, I’m really sorry.”
I shook my head and got up from the table. Dawson followed me as I grabbed my shotgun and walked out onto the porch, still unable to stop the tide of tears.
“It’s not that, Dawson. I don’t care about you playing ovine obstetrician. It’s just…”
It was just that I was terrified for the well-being of myself and of my home. It was just that this rot creature didn’t fit in with any of the usual oddities on the farm— it was dissonant and evil and I could feel in my bones that it wouldn’t be gone for long. It was just that I’d come close enough to death to feel its maw against my face.
It was just that Dawson had saved my life.
“I’m just worried. Really worried.”
Dawson had been following me around like a puppy, but I heard his footsteps distinctly stop then.
“Hey.”
I turned and looked back at him. He had an expression I’d never seen on him before: stony seriousness.
“It’s okay to be worried, but it’ll be alright regardless. I can tell this place means a lot to you, and we won’t let anything threaten that— or you.”
Dawson put both hands on my shoulders, and in the firmest, no-nonsense voice, he said:
“Fuck that zombie cow. He’s a little bitch.”
Just like that, he had me laughing again, and this time, the tears didn’t come back. He dropped his hands and smiled.
“Knew I could get you to laugh.”
“Oh my god,” I said, wiping my eyes, “just walk with me. I need someone to share my last cigarette with before I roll some more, and I’d rather not find out if Mr. Night of the Living Beef is a smoker.”
Dawson started following me again, but this time he kept pace. I lit the cigarette and offered it out to him first. By the time we circled back to the porch, all that was left was smoke on our breaths.
I heard him walk into the house, but I stayed, making sure the shotgun was loaded and looking out over the path. I could still see the deep tire tracks from when Dawson slammed on his brakes if I squinted.
“What’re you doing?”
I didn’t take my eyes off the road, but a smile crept over my face.
“You’ve got your secrets. I’ve got mine.”
I gave it exactly ten minutes before standing and turning back. Dawson was watching me, and he probably had been the whole time.
“Keep your secrets,” he said with a dumb grin, “just come finish breakfast with me.”
So we sat in the kitchen together and finished our McDonald’s on chipped china. It wasn’t often that I got fast food like this, and even with it having grown colder than a banshee at her ex’s wedding, I still ate every bite of it.
“So, I’m going to make us some coffee if I can figure out the caffeine dinosaur you’ve got over there.”
He was right. That coffee machine looked like it jumped out of the fifties, but I’d never gotten a better cup anywhere else.
“And then we’ll figure out what we should do next. I would call my mom and ask her, but… I don’t feel like the Mom Voice this early.”
I picked up our plates and looked over where Aunt Jean stood by the hissing coffee pot.
“Someone beat you to it.”
Dawson caught my gaze and jumped a little when he saw her.
“How did she get down here? I didn’t see her or hear her come down the stairs. Did you?”
“Nope. If you’re hanging around here, you might as well get used to it. Sometimes she’s just… there. And then she’s somewhere else. But her teleportation has never been particularly malicious.”
Aunt Jean walked over and handed him two things. The first was a cup of coffee, which I was expecting. If she had spoken, she would’ve said something like, “Guests always come first in this house, chickadee.” The second was an ice pack.
“Thank… thank you, Aunt Jean. It’s really nice to meet you properly.”
Aunt Jean took on a serious look. She gestured to the ice pack, then to me, before holding both wrinkly hands on her chest. It took Dawson a minute to register the message, but once he did, he came over quickly and with visible concern.
“That thing hurt you bad, didn’t it?”
The soreness and pain that I’d been trying to ignore for the past hour flared up at his words, but I did my best to deny it.
“I’m fine, I swear. Just some bruises and things I’d have to talk to my therapist about if I had one.”
“I don’t believe you. Take it.”
I stared at Dawson, and he stared at me. Neither of us was backing down— that was until Dawson cheated.
A hard poke in the chest was all it took for me to wince and mutter “fuck,” and Dawson shoved the ice pack into my hands.
“That was totally unfair, you know that?”
“Yeah, I know. Now ice that.”
As uncomfortable as the chill was, I gave in and stuffed the ice pack into my binder. Seeing that Dawson had won the Ice Pack Battle, Aunt Jean walked over and pinched his cheek like he was an adorable baby. Then, for the first time ever, Aunt Jean spoke.
Well, that’s not totally right. Her mouth formed the words, but the voice that came out of it definitely wasn’t hers. It was a little girl’s, spoken like a child would talk to a dog.
“Good boy!”
I watched Dawson’s cheeks tinge slightly red.
“Yeah, I… I do my best. Someone’s gotta make sure they take care of themself.”
Aunt Jean’s smile widened before she approached me and placed a steaming mug in my hand.
“So we’re feeling talkative today, Jeannie?”
She reached out and gently patted my cheek. I caught the scent of Dove soap, and then she was gone.
“She’s… quite the character, isn’t she?”
Dawson turned to me and grinned the same dumb grin he got whenever he was proud of himself. It annoyed me how easily I’d come to recognize it in the short time we’d known each other.
“She really is something. I think she likes me.”
I took a sip of my coffee. It was burning hot, but I was still shivering from the ice pack, so a warm stomach for a scalded tongue was a fair enough trade.
“Don’t get a big head over it. Aunt Jean likes everyone. Well, most everyone.”
Like the bastard he was, Dawson walked over and started washing our dishes from breakfast. It was only two plates, but I was still ready to kick his ass over it.
“I see where you’re coming from. But let me ask you this. Has she ever spoken to anyone else besides you?”
I wasn’t about to tell him she hadn’t spoken to me. I would’ve been jealous, except for the fact that I wasn’t. Aunt Jean and I had a special bond, and I almost always could sense what she was thinking. Words are loud and unwieldy sometimes, and there’s a certain dignity and comfort in quiet companionship.
“Touche, asshole.”
“Maybe she likes me better,” he says, using that tone of voice that tells me he doesn’t actually believe that but wants to annoy me.
“Maybe you can take a nice, long walk right into the Grand Canyon.”
“I bet I’d do a good job being you. Couldn’t be that hard, though I might go bankrupt on overalls alone.”
For a moment, I actually wondered if Dawson would do a good job running the farm. All signs pointed to no, but I didn’t necessarily see it as a bad thing. Keeping this farm from going to shit is a difficult job, and it’s made me a hard person. I wouldn’t want that to happen to him. Plus, there’s not much McDonald’s breakfast out here. Or that cereal he really likes. I wasn’t sure I’d like the person Dawson would become if he spent that much time around here.
“Oh, please. You’d be running out of here in less than a day with your tail tucked between your legs and Davy Crockett hot on your ass.”
“Oh, really? Well, I’ll have you know that your horse likes me better!”
I gasped in mock outrage. I was almost certain that wasn’t true, but I respected the spirit of dramatics.
“How dare you! A curse on you! A curse upon your house! A curse upon your cow! A curse upon your—“
I was interrupted by a marimba. Dawson and I glanced at his phone, which lay on the table. The screen lit up with the word “Mama.”
“Looks like your curse worked,” Dawson said with a dry laugh, “oh, she’s going to kill me.”
Then he answered it. The yell that came out of that tiny speaker could’ve been heard clear across the state. There’s no force greater than a worried mother. Other than her yell, all I heard was Dawson’s side of the conversation.
“Yes Mama, I’m fine. No, I’m not outside. I know there’s something bad out there. Yeah, I know, you always feel things like that.”
I snuck into the next room, far enough to be out of the way but close enough to still hear.
“No, Mama, I don’t have it, but— I can’t just leave! Newport will be here all alone and that thing might come back and— no, Mama, it’s not like that! They’re just— Mama, I can’t leave them like that, and... fine. I’ll… I’ll try. But I don’t think it’ll work. I know Mama, I know you’re looking out for me. I love you too.”
After a few minutes of silence, Dawson joined me in the living room.
“Heyyyyy. So—“
“Not a chance. I’m not leaving this farm while that thing is out there somewhere. I don’t think Davy can hold his own for that long.”
Dawson sighed.
“I knew you’d say that. I tried to tell her. But she’s going to have my ass if I don’t go get some sort of protection from her. I usually have my necklace, but I was rushing out, and I forgot it today.”
I picked my shotgun up again from where I had laid it and peeked outside. The sun was warming up the fields, a gentle wind blew through the cornstalks, and I could hear the yellowhammers as they went chee-chee-chee-squeeeee amongst the trees. It was turning into a deceptively beautiful day.
“She said if I want to stay with you, she won’t stop me as long as I get something to protect us. But I’m not leaving you here without a way to go. You can keep the truck, I’ll… well, I’ll walk.”
A gruesome picture invaded my brain at Dawson’s words: him walking down the path, and before he could even make it out of sight, a black and rotting blur tore out of the cornfield and slashed into him, spraying bright red blood everywhere and putting on a gory horror show worthy of an A24 flick.
“No. You’re not walking. If you want to leave me the truck, fine. I won’t argue with you on that. But we’re going to find you a better way out of here.”
I didn’t give him any time to disagree. I just snatched his wrist and pulled him out toward the barn.
“I already know my truck isn’t going to work. It needs a new radiator and I can’t get one until next month. The four-wheeler has been slow lately, and I don’t think we should take that risk. Um…”
Dawson walked over to the horse stable, just like I was afraid he would. I would’ve rather he rode Beelzebub.
“What about your horse? I’m sure he’s fast enough.”
I scratched the back of my head. Hephaestus could be pretty rough when he wanted to be.
“I don’t know…”
Hephaestus narrowed his eyes at Dawson, but he reached out to scratch his snout.
“Alright old man, I know you don’t like me. But let’s have a truce for now, okay? I’ve gotta get where I’m going.”
To my surprise, instead of shooting out and snapping at him like the feral dog he was, Hephaestus closed his eyes and sighed. If you’ve never heard a horse sigh in content, I feel sorry for you and recommend you go find a horse at your earliest convenience.
“You do like him better, you bastard!”
Heph actually rolled his big horse eyes at me, like I was the dramatic one out of the two of us.
“I wouldn’t take it personally. I’m just the cool uncle.”
I walked over and grabbed the saddle, thrusting it into Dawson’s hands.
“Well, let’s see if the cool uncle can get his saddle on with all his fingers intact. Do you know how to ride a horse?”
Dawson gave me a tilt of the hand that inspired so little faith.
“I know all the basics, but it’s been a while since I’ve actually used them— like… years.”
I pulled a carrot I’d forgotten in my pocket and had him give it to Heph, hoping we could buy his patience.
“Well, all I can tell you is good luck. You’re probably going to need it. Time for the saddle.”
To my surprise and continued annoyance, Dawson got it on pretty easily. He’d passed the Horse Test now, too. In fact, all the animals besides me had adjusted to his presence like he’d always been here. Having him around still felt so weird, but the idea of him leaving felt worse than that. It felt bad. I didn’t like to think about it for long, because then the questions I didn’t want to answer started to surface.
“Look at me, I’m a natural!”
I was brought out of the haze that was beginning to consume me by Dawson trotting around the barn on Heph. Both looked very pleased with themselves. I could tell Dawson was expecting me to come back with some smartass remark, and honestly, so did I. But whatever I would’ve said stayed lost in the useless hunk of meat that was my brain at the moment.
“Come back, okay?”
Dawson pulled Heph to a stop and stared down at me.
“Because… if you or Heph get splattered across the dirt road up here, it’s going to attract crows, and they’re totally going for the corn next. And that would be… super lame.”
I hated the way Dawson’s expression changed. It got softer, and his eyebrows pinched together.
“I’ll be alright, Newport. I promise.”
I just shook my head and looked away.
“Who else is gonna make you pull that annoyed face you’re pulling right now?”
If he had been beside me then, I would’ve for sure taken his tree branch elbow to my ribs. As I turned back to him, I almost felt it telepathically.
I gave him what some might’ve called a smile. I hated how it sat on my face; it reeked of worry. And my concern for his well-being was none of his business.
I led Heph out of the barn door, stopping just short of it. The sun was hot, and the air was filled with the noise of Mother Nature, totally unbothered. But with the feeling in my stomach, it might as well have been the deepest depths of night.
“Nobody would do it better. Keep your eyes out for… that thing. I don’t think it’s scared of the daylight, Dawson.”
He nodded, and I laid my hand on Hephaestus’ flank, silently pleading for the old stallion to keep his cargo safe. Then I slapped him on the behind with a ‘hiyah,’ and he tore down off the dirt road with Dawson.
“Look at me,” I heard him yelling as they rode away, “I’m riding a fucking horse!”
I had a sneaking suspicion that he had lied about his history with equestrians, but it seemed like he was managing regardless.
“Don’t yell like that! You’re ringing the damn dinner bell!”
It was hard to tell from how far down he had made it, but I swear he turned back to look at me and winked. I sighed, shook my head, and went back into the barn.
Usually, the animals ate before me, but today hadn’t been a usual day thus far, and my money was on it staying that way. Still, I could tell Davy was getting crankier than an old man who hadn’t gone to bed by seven.
After everyone was fed and seen to, I went inside and made sure all the doors were locked. Then, I treated myself to a decadent lunch of a handful of Cheetos from the bag I picked up in town. The Landlady rarely brought me anything besides healthy food and fresh ingredients, so it was my duty alone to treat myself. Then, I went to shower. I was only just remembering that there was still dried cow gunk all over me.
When that was done, I busied myself with household chores as best I could. I kept Kurt Cobain’s voice rattling out of my stereo as high as it would go, trying to fight off the nervous something that was threatening to crawl up my back in every single moment of silence. I dragged my dustbuster all over the house, glad that I’d finally broken down and gotten Two Tooth Steve to order myself a Dyson using just a little of the liquid cash I kept in the lockbox. I tried to be very careful with what I used that money for, but a man can only bust the dust for so long. My days of bunnies under the bed would soon be no more.
Afternoon crept into evening, and something in me knotted up when I had to flick the porch light on. I’d gotten no word from Dawson, not even a text. Not that there was much service out here. Aunt Jean stood by the kitchen window, staring into the gathering darkness. It was hard not to join her, but a nagging feeling in my gut told me that’s what it wanted.
It all suddenly made no difference when I heard Dawson calling my name outside. I was too relieved to think straight for a few seconds, and that was all it took. I threw open the door and raced off the porch like there were springs in my feet. I scanned down the long, lonely path to the main road. Dawson was nowhere to be seen, but I did hear footsteps behind me. They were slow and disjointed. One, two, onetwo, one… two… onetwo, onetwo, one, two… one…... onetwoonetwoonetwo—
I wheeled around as the Rot picked up the pace, sprinting toward me as much as a festering cow carcass could. Broken bone shone white in each of its legs. I staggered backward, with my mind screaming all the while to turn around and run like hell. But everything felt like jelly. The Rot’s gory jaw fell open, letting loose a death wail. Then it closed in on me, coming in for the kill. I shut my eyes tight.
I expected to hear the squelch of my flesh being ripped off or the wheeze of its breath right against my ear. I wish I had, because what I actually heard was a million times worse. There was the sound of broken footfalls passing me by and Dawson yelling my name. This time, it was actually him.
I watched his smile fall into a look of unabashed fear in real-time.
The world was suddenly on fire. The feeling of slogging through a jam jar was gone, and suddenly, every move was at warp speed. I was on the porch, off the porch, halfway down the road, sprinting so hard my legs stung. My shotgun was in my hand. When did I grab it?
I was getting there, but not fast enough. Heph let out the most terrified whinny I’d ever heard, and from where I was, I could see the panic in Dawson’s wide eyes. The Rot was a few more strides and a claw swipe from going all ominous unknown killer on my horse. Everything was a blur of motion after that. The WiFi signal to my consciousness must’ve been extra shitty that day.
There was a loud crack and Dawson was on the ground and Heph was running back toward the barn without him and Dawson was clutching his wrist to his chest and I was lifting my gun and the Rot was leaning over him and its intestines were wrapping around his neck and BANG.
Time jerked to a halt. The Rot wobbled slightly, a massive hole blown into its meaty skull. I didn’t move or even breathe while waiting for it to fall. The only sound was Dawson whimpering quietly.
I shot it, and now it was over, right? Right?
Instead of collapsing dead into the dirt, the bastard melted into a puddle of mold and shot back into the woods out of sight. I knew it would be back; it was only a matter of time.
“Dawson,” I rushed over to him, “Dawson, what the fuck?!”
I pulled his wrist gently away from his chest and took in the damage. The bones weren’t in the right place, and the skin was beginning to swell and turn purple. It hadn’t broken skin, though, and as far as broken bones go, I’d seen much worse. The only other visible injuries he had were a rising swath of bruises on his left side, a swelling knot on the side of his face, and a bloody nose. Any way you looked at it, he needed a hospital, and he needed it now.
“Is Heph okay?” He said through heavy breaths. I could tell he was trying to be tough about the pain, but I could feel a vague ache in my own wrist just looking at it. I was surprised he hadn’t gone into shock.
I risked a single glance back and saw Hephaestus standing by the barn, wide-eyed and spooked, but alive and unharmed.
“He’s fine! You’re not!”
“I’ll walk it off,” Dawson said, pulling his wrist back to his chest and gritting his teeth.
I helped him to his feet and rushed him toward his truck. The only walking he would do was into an emergency room.
“That’s never been good advice! I’m taking you to the hospital!”
I didn’t give him a chance to argue with me. I helped him into the truck and screamed out toward the house for Aunt Jean to see about Heph, hoping it was loud enough to be heard. Then I hopped in the driver’s seat and left a mini dust storm in my wake as I zoomed off the property.
“Why did you do that?!”
Sweat rolled down Dawson’s brow, mixing with the blood still dribbling slowly out of his nose. His breathing had slowed a little, but not enough to be concerning. The cool air blasting out of the conditioner seemed to calm him down but also keep him lucid.
“That thing would’ve torn through Heph to get to me. We both had a better chance of surviving if I jumped ship.”
I shook my head because although the logic made enough sense, I still didn’t like it.
“It’s alright, Newport. You’re probably happy we’re even again.”
I side-eyed him so hard I almost went off the road. Despite it all, he wore a weak smile when our gaze met.
“What the hell do you mean?!”
He exhaled and looked around like his eyes were made of water, and we were stuck in an oil spill.
“I saved your life, and now you saved mine. We’re even. The universe is in balance, and you don’t owe me anything. Not that you did before, but I feel like you think you did.”
I knew getting to the hospital was urgent, but sometimes, there are those moments you know will have a lasting effect on the rest of your life. There’s an unnameable something you can feel— I think people much cooler than me would refer to it as a ‘canon event.’ That’s why I jerked the car to a stop in the middle of Silver’s Curve. Thank god we were both wearing our seatbelts.
“Dawson.”
The dumbfounded look on his face was almost what some might’ve called cute if his face wasn’t covered in blood and bruises. I stared him down more than I had ever stared at anyone before.
“I don’t give a fuck about any of that. I don’t want us even. I WANT YOU ALIVE! I want us alive!”
Dawson didn’t say anything. He didn’t have to; I’d made my point and he understood. He just nodded, and I nodded back.
Neither of us spoke after that, both lost in our own minds. But every thirty seconds, I glanced over to make sure Dawson was still breathing. It didn’t seem like he had brain damage, but I couldn’t be sure. I sped the rest of the way to the hospital in the next town over. I didn’t trust the one in Battleman ever since they told me at twelve that my ruptured appendix was period cramps and also anxiety.

Sabian perfectamente lo que hacian...
Yo no soy Jason Bourne... Jason Bourne, es un personaje cinematografico, parte de la misma mente que escribio la serie. Entre dos caracteristicas. "De lo mas positivo del gobierno EEUU en relacion a la situacion..."
Que yo voy a ir a Espana?, ni que estuviera loco... matar a Bourne, y que yo sea responsable de estos pendejos.
"Yo vi el video donde llega la Marina al pueblo de XICO, Veracruz. El hombre sin la mitad del torax... sigue manejando la camioneta y disparando, despues de que la marina con una camioneta con cal. 50, lo desbaratan... sigue el hombre todavia... manejando..." "Cual mujer?" "Que el vecino de enfrente su suegro se llamaba Fidel y que el era Seversky".
"Ya se te quito el coraje..."
aparece, en Bologna, un hombre, metiendole el pie... por la vagina a la mujer esa... uno, dos, tres, cuatro... bombeandole la cavidad... encabronado... "Por hija de puta..." le dice en italiano...
Apoco, eso se lo estan haciendo a los seres humanos... todo esto es porque siguieron escuchando "A Don Dorado."
Todo el plan... "La FIAT... Enrique, la FIAT hasta te la regalamos..." tenian los grandes corazones... todo falso...
Asi como me regalan la FIAT, la HONDA... asi tambien me regalan la FORD.
Manana sale, Reagan a la television... MATEN TODO LO QUE SE OPONGA A LA HEGEMONIA AMERICANA....
Pero no... Pero si que sepan...
"No hay gente contenta..."
Pinches pasados de verga.

Hello!
I recently jusy gave birth almost 5 months ago now to my beautiful baby girl. She's so smart and sweet, and honestly she makes it so easy to be her mother. Loving her in the easiest thing i have ever done.
Not saying that being a parent is easy, it's not. Last night I got a grand total for 30 minutes of sleep(: but, from the moment she was born, I knew that I would do anything for this baby, as I'm sure most mothers feel.
Well last night when my daughter was taking a nap, we were hanging out with my parents around a camp fire outside and talking. We got to talking about how we plan on raising our daughter.
We intend to teach her to proper words for vagina and penis, because we feel that is a good way to help protect her growing up.
We don't plan on spanking or hitting our daughter. The mind set is if she's old enough to understand reason, teach her. If she's not old enough to understand reason, she's not going to understand why you ate hitting her.
But I think the thing that stuck our to my mother was I told her that no matter who my daughter grows up to be (baring horrible things within reason i.e a murder or something lile that) that I would love and protect her.
I said, if my daughter woke up one day and said she was actually my son, I would love him just the same.
If my daughter grew up and found religion, I would never try to change her views on it.
If she came home and said "this is my girlfriend." I would say "welcome to our home."
My job as a parent isn't to tell her who she is it's to help her grow into a well rounded person and give her thr skills she needs to fourish as an adult.
And I could tell that that had stuck out to my mother. She came from a really strick household growing up, where pretty much everything was decided for her.
And all she did was smile, nod her head and say "you're a great mother."
I cried. My mom has a really hard time communicating, and expressing herself. So that really really meant a lot to me.
She's also just the best grandmother my daughter could possibly ask for.
Idk, this just made my night and I woke up thinking about it. I wanted to share (:

kudos to the person who added all her songs + some unreleased ones (i excluded a few remixes cuz ive never listened to them)

Hi,
I am 28(F) from West Bengal, India. I live in a small city here. My life has been tough recently.
For some context , I have been abandoned by my mother and father when I was around 2 , because they couldn't handle having a child with a vagina. They wanted a boy. My mom was sympathetic enough to approach my grand mother to take care of me. My grandmother took care of me.
She was the only human who took care of me since my childhood. She gave the love I needed. I used to stay with my granny and my aunt till 2023.
I have had some mental health issues in my childhood. I was under confident and struggled with anxiety disorders.
I was happy and content in my life, I had a job . But then during COVID I lost my job of teaching. In 2023 my granny passed away and my aunt asked me to leave the house.I had savings as I had a jewellery boutique then. I used to sell handmade jewelleries on Instagram.
I moved out and rented a place. The biggest mistake I did is took loans from two online loan apps for my business. After I left my house I started having panic attacks and it was difficult for me to keep on working. But I kept on going.
But now I am in a deep rabbit hole, with little to no help to come out. I have an outstanding loan of almost 30000. I do give tuitions to students, but it goes away in paying rent and food. I am giving job interviews and cracked on but it doesn't start before June 2024.
I need help with my mental health. I don't have money to go to a therapist. I visited the government hospital near me twice but both times they asked me to do exercise in the morning. Didn't even prescribe any medicine.
My anxiety is getting out of hand. Most of the time I can't breathe.
I need money to buy food , transportation , basic hygiene products and pay off my debt if something is left. I am ready to borrow and pay off later after I start my job.
I also need suggestions about , where I can get support regarding my mental health for free, as I don't have money now.
I don't have friends or any relatives who cares enough for me to help out. Hence I am depending on the strangers of internet.
Please help me and pray for me.

De ahí me fui a Canada...
Hicieron una culerada no me dejaran entrar...
Ya que se muere mi papá abro su closet... tenia una foto de la gorda esa puta la tal Verónica... en un tren en Canada de joven...
En cuanto llego a Mexico me meten a la cárcel esa privada... porque, noooombre... como que se va a cotorrear...
Adentro de la cárcel privada veo un libro de una Biografia de "Claude Monet"... lo abro... "Madamme Japonaise" como me enoje...
"Un lienzo de 231.8cm x 142.3 cm" de 1876...
En el 2023... llegó a Vierzon en Francia... me cuentan la historia...
"La calle Belle Vue en Vierzon esta la casa número 44... enfrente la casa número 47... ya ves que tiene como una nariz..."
"Aqui llego Ms McNamara a llorar en la calle caminando a decir que lloraba por el padre de sus hijos..." Mientras tu estaban en Japón...
En la documentation del PsyBNC... cual WHO... están pendejos.
"Ahora vas a recibir lo que sembraste como todo en esta vida..."
Un focus group... que mamadas más grandes...
Pobres pendejos ahí están implocionados cagados... y ahí se van a quedar...
Como lo han decidido... por culeros.
La aguja Gigante... el salón social parece de New Mexico...
El restaurante japones esta escrito en Kiragana... Hokkaido... pero en japones termina en una letra "u"...
Y que... "Minerva Ku" puraaaaa verga....
A mi se me hace muy muy muy raro...
"Enrique llego a Porcari en el último tren..." cuando llego veo a dos negros... me ven en las escaleras hundidas forjandome un toque de pura marihuana... ningún tabaco todavía tenia mi dinerito...
Estas loco... cual loco... fumen fumen... amigos...
"Este es el último tren?" "Si... ya hasta mañana..." los hoteles están perrones... ah pues allá voy...
No se como este el pedo... "en Bologna... había una dama una mujer que usaba un parche de el gato silvestre..." la nariz Roja esa...
Muy muy raro... "en cuanto llego Enrique... supieron iba a regresar hasta en la mañana y vieron a Erin con Aiko caminando..."
"Empezo el taladro"... cuando paso la policía municipal... ahi fue el "evento internacional"
No lo se... dicen que eran amenazas...
En Bologna yo vi a una vieja... no es mentira... que le metieron el pie por la vagina... "le estamos haciendo la autopompa... por puta y por culera...".
Ojalá se vayan a sus propios infiernos esos... ni por nada del mundo... me hacen una mamada así... me mato a vergazos...
El pie completo... anda anda panda...

Forgive me

I play both sides and I really enjoy this game so out of boredom I made an imaginary future patch idea. I aimed to spice up the meta of the game and iron out annoying shit on either family or victim side so the game is nice and healthy.
if you have any ideas or input or you wanna call me bad at the game and victim/killer sided I'd like to hear it as this is meant for discussion on balance/fun.

FAMILY MEMBER CHANGES

Family members that can crouch will not say any voicelines
Family members can drop from ladders like Victims but will get staggered like Victims.

• it isn't really fair that Victims can jump down from a ladder and family has to watch like a 7 second cutscene of them going down the ladder

Reduce the stun immunity duration to 5 seconds

• 10 seconds is too long and it really only benefits Hitchhiker as he is the only one that for some reason has a 2 second stun and can follow you through the basement.

Have family focus show you where every trap, barbed wire, padlock and objective is by default without you having to get within range of it

• Simple quality of life that lets family set up their traps based on what objective spawns they get. Also allows for other family members to see where you put your traps/locks.

When fat family members close a crawl space Bubba will be able to destroy it much faster.

• Currently it is actually DETRIMENTAL to have fatties close crawl spaces as the Victims will just open it and crawl through. Closed crawl spaces will be destroyed much faster to give fatties an edge over the skinnies.

BUBBA
bubba's stun duration for door slam stuns, backstabs and hiding spots would be reduced by 50% (half)

• bubba is MASSIVE, Close Encounters not being a thing that affects bubba ironically makes him a punching bag as accidentially start a Close Encounter. he should be the only character that has his stuns reduced.

bubba's overheat would be changed so that it builds only when he chainsaw sprints
OR
bubba will stop chainsaw sprinting if his endurance reaches 0

• bubba should not be able to endlessly run from one side to another. this creates very boring stalemates and mindless gameplay.

reduce bubba's base overheat duration to 10 seconds
Stalling Resistance LVL 2 will be basekit
maim ability tree changes

1. Reduce Chainsaw Overheat LVL 3 Destruction: Significantly Decrease the time it takes to destroy barricades, crawl spaces, doors.
2. Instant Activation
3. Overheat Reduction LVL 3 Decrease Chainsaw Charge Time: Decreases the Chainsaw Charge time allowing for Leatherface to enter his Chainsaw Sprint quicker.

• instant activation is really the only interesting ability perk which is a shame when other characters have game changing ability trees.

HITCHHIKER
the current meta character. with the changes to perks and global changes he still has some things that should be changed.
victims can now disarm a bone trap without a bonescrap

• but this will take the current amount of time that using a bonescrap takes, which is very fucking long.
• WHILE disarming the bonescrap you will make constant loud noise VFX giving the hitchhiker or anyone else near ample time to go and hit you.
• for victims to not make any noise and to disarm the trap faster they will need a bonescrap. using a bonescrap will half the time it takes to disarm a bonetrap and will be completely silent.

when victims step in a trap they will be highlighted to all family members in red for as long as they are trapped.

• i think for trap based characters in games you need the visual feedback of your trap being successful and so hitch should see the EXACT victim that gets trapped everytime.

Trap Ability Tree
Family See Noise LVL 3 Darkened Traps: Traps are slightly darkened and harder to see.
Bloody Traps: If a Victim is caught in a trap, you'll receive blood after resetting or collecting the trap.

• the amount of blood received from this bloody trap will be the same amount as a blood bucket

Bleed Damage
Have Tenderizer be replaced with Scout on his Skill Tree

• Scout being a guaranteed perk on Hitchhiker will make the right side of his Skill Tree more focused on Chase. He won't be able to have Scout and stack his damage perks like big swings and serrated anymore.

JOHNNY
as of the current patch johnny has had his annoying stand still attack removed, which is a good thing but it really does highlight that johnny is not punished for missing his attacks unlike every other character in this game. johnny does not need a grand rework to be viable, just a few additions.
Increase Johnny's movement speed so that he is as fast as Hitchhiker

• To make up for the fact Johnny won't be able to swing wildly he should be the same speed as Hitchhiker.

Johnny will have a 20% increase in grappling effectiveness
Johnny will close crawl spaces fast

• Dude's thicc af he should close those crawl spaces way faster than the old coots.

Have Johnny move at his walking speed when he attacks

• Removing his "lunge" that he has will help balance Johnny and make Johnny have to think more about when to attack.

Revert the Hunt nerf and make Johnny's ability actually worth something.

• The Hunt nerf was unnecessary, ESPECIALLY when Nancy is in the game and can just find any hiding victim using her ability. Johnny has to actually take the time to investigate before he can even follow a trail.
• Victims can no longer hide from Johnny

NANCY
Nancy is by far the worst character in this game, she's slow and takes too long to setup.
When spying on a Victim the Victim is not notified they have been sensed by Nancy until AFTER Nancy sees them.
Nancy's Traps will no longer be disabled by other family members

• IF this "doesn't make sense" then Hitchhiker's traps should disarm when another family member steps on them, or if you walk into Sissy's poison you should begin coughing and dying. This is a TEAM game and having this weird mechanic where your own traps can be set off by the same players on your team is really annoying.

Barbed Victims will be highlighted for as long as they have the Barb on them.

• To follow in line with the Hitchhiker and Sissy trap changes it makes sense for Nancy to also have this buff.

When a Victim is running they will not be able to take the barbed wire off

• This is just a quality of life for Victims as i'm sure if you played against Nancy and have gotten trapped you would know if you hit E while running for whatever reason you stop dead in your tracks. This is annoying. So to prevent this from happening Victims have to stand still for the action to occur.

Reduce Nancy's Trap setting duration by 2-3 seconds
SISSY
Increase Sissy's movement speed so that she is like 5% faster than Nancy. She should be in the middle of Nancy and Hitchhiker.
Bane ability changes

• Sissy's Poison will deal damage by default
• When Poisoned by Sissy Victims cannot interact with objectives such as lockpicking, fusebox, generators or car batteries as they will cough.
• When a Victim is poisoned they are highlighted to all Family Members in red for the duration of their poison, or if they are just standing in the cloud.
• Dinner bell will now work with Poisoned Health bottles.
• Poisoned Health bottles will no longer have any indication that they are poisoned.
• Poisoning Valve or any other objective will apply Poison, and are considered traps.
• Poison Pickup Locations and Poison Generators is now basekit.
• Poisoned Victims will receive 15% more damage for the duration of the poison.
• Poisoned Victims will gain a fake Family Proximity Warning, as if the Family Member is right next to them.

Tables will now always spawn with 3 Powders.
Bane Ability Tree
Toxic Cloud Family Cloud: When a Family Member walks through Sissy's Gas Cloud they gain 15% increased damage the poison duration.
Poison Pickup Locations Increases Cloud Duration LVL 3: Increase poison cloud duration to 60 seconds.
Poison Generators Fast Flowers: Sissy deploys her Gas Cloud 50% faster.

• With most of her bad ability perks being made basekit and with the other amount of additions i figure these new ability trees can fill a different type of playstyle for sissy.

COOK
Family See Noise will be basekit and any Victim revealed by Cook is highlighted for all family members by default.

• to keep it in line with the other characters and how each of them can highlight victims depending on the situation AND because this is the only valuable Ability tree perk its best to just make it basekit.

Victims that kick generators, disarm bone traps without a bonescrap, or perform ANY loud action that does not involve movement will be considered "loud" and Cook will be able to mark them.

• You know when you play Cook and you clearly see Victims being loud but for some reason you can't mark them? That is his whole ability and you for some reason can't mark Victims doing loud actions.

Cook Ability tree changes
Family All See Noise Increased Detection Range LVL 3: Victim detection range increased by 30%.

• Since Family All See Noise is now basekit for Cook i think more detection range is just as valuable now.

VICTIM CHANGES

Traversals now have a Fast variant, like the car traversal. Doing the Fast variant will consume stamina as if you performed a sprint burst and will create a loud noise VFX. Family Members that copy Victim movement will consume stamina doing these aswell.
The slower variant will make victims susceptible to being grabbed like when you grab a Victim from entering a hiding spot.

• The chase in this game feels good when you're just sprint bursting but when it comes to traversals such as barricades and crawl spaces it feels very sluggish and almost unfinished. For WHATEVER reason cars actually already have this mechanic.

Being the last Victims alive will NOT affect your stamina

• I don't get why this is even a mechanic in the game. This is a team game so if your team all dies you really aren't going to win, that is how it is designed.

When a victim is pulled out of a hiding spot have them lose ALL stamina

• Getting caught out of a hiding spot should be more punishing and allow the family to attack you.

Noise will no longer follow Victims

• Noise following Victims doesn't discourage rushing and all it does is make chase mind games nonexistent.
• Before this was changed you could use noise as a distraction. Like using the chickens at the window of the family house to make the family THINK you are going to jump out the window and then stab them while they open the door. It's just such a one-sided change that really made the game less enjoyable.

Loud noise detection increased by a significant amount to where you can see Victims being loud from family house to the shed.

• Like 40m?

Victims can no longer sabotage a lamp. Danny can use his ability to sabotage them tho lol

• This is stupid and i don't even get how you cause a lamp to fucking electrocute just by using a screwdriver. At LEAST with Danny that's his whole shtick and his gameplay is focused around tampering with mechanical/electrical devices.

Removing i-frames during stuns

• When a victim is getting up from a stun (such as a door slam or hiding spot) or well drop it will act as a barbed wire/Hitchhiker trap stun meaning you can strike the victim immediately and the victim will gain control of their movement.

When crouched Victims will not say any voice lines and when you begin to crouch any voiceline that was playing will be canceled.

• In a game that tries to promote stealth it doesn't make sense when you have a mechanic that punishes the player seemingly at random. if stealth is the intended way to play this game and you are supposed to be punished for getting caught out this should be removed.

Ana is good and so is Vagina, just up your brightness monitor 4head.
JULIE
With Scout toned down Julie is fine the way she is but she has perks that don't really make sense.
Stats

• Reduce her Stealth by 10 and give those points to Endurance.

Julie loses Bomb Squad and gains Jump Start.

• The running character doesn't get Jump Start lol.

SONNY
Sonny's stats are just terrible and the perks that he gets access to make no sense.
Stats

• Reduce his Reduce his Strength by 15 and give those 20 points to his Stealth.
• Reduce his Endurance by 10 and give them to his Proficiency.

There are better posts that cover stats and stat changes but what makes the most sense to do is to increase Sonny's stealth and proficiency as his health doesn't really back up his more aggressive stats like strength and endurance. also him being 35 strength is dumb lol
Sonny loses access to Jump Start and Choose Flight but gains Bomb Squad and Saboteur.
Sonny can use his ability while lockpicking and doing other objectives that make the camera immobile.

• I think Sonny's ability is in a good spot, it's very underutilized and he really does shine in situations where other characters can't identify a threat.

Heightened Senses ability tree

1. Increased Range LVL 3
2. All Knowing
3. Quicker Recharge Rate LVL 3 Objective Tracker: Heightened Senses can now detect objectives such as fuse, generator and car battery.

With most ability trees I feel the final 3 levels should impact gameplay in some way, Objective Tracker can open a more objective oriented Sonny.
LELAND
Good ole leland. so pure.
Leland would lose access to Bomb Squad and Light On Your Feet and gain access to Jump Start.
Barge ability

• Revert the cooldown nerf and make his Barge cooldown 126 seconds at LVL 3 Quicker Recharge
• Increase the base stun duration to 8 seconds (Bubba would only be stunned for 4 seconds)

Barge ability tree

1. Quicker Recharge LVL 3
2. Concussive Hit: Applies a concussion effect to the knocked down Family member

• Concussive Hit will deplete a barged Family Member's ability and blood vial

1. Increased Stun Duration LVL 3 Restore Health LVL 3: After barging a family member, 50 health is restored.

I think Leland's stun should stay at 8 seconds and should not be able to be increased by any means. His Stun Duration Ability trees would be changed to Restore Health.
Stats

• Reduce his Proficiency to 15 and give those 10 points to his Endurance

CONNIE
Connie can stay as the lockpicking queen but I have a couple of changes to tone her down a bit.
Connie's Focus would no longer be an instant chunk and would now work similar to Pre-Imaginary Patch Fast Hands.
Focus: When Activated your proficiency is increased by 100%.

• If Connie is hit during Focus her oblivious effect will be removed and her stamina will begin regenerating. This is to slightly buff her for the removal of instant lockpicking as when she gets hit she "loses" Focus. This would just be like current fast hands but a bit more since it is her whole ability.
• This would also mean objectives that require proficiency will be done much faster. So car battery could go from like 20 seconds to 10 if Connie uses her ability on it.
• Debuff duration is reduced to 20 seconds

Focus Ability Tree would change a bit

1. Quicker Recharge Rate LVL 3: Reduces the ability recharge time to 240
2. Shorter Debuff Duration LVL 3 Increased proficiency LVL 3: Your proficiency is increased by 150%
3. No Debuff LVL 3: There is no stamina cost or Family proximity debuff when activating your ability.

and
Connie would lose access to Choose Flight BUT gain access to Fuse Lights

• Connie's endurance does not make me think that she should have access to these mobility perks, if Connie is an objective based character she should lack chase perks to balance it out.

DANNY
With the Tampered Objectives being changed the only issue is Danny's Knowledge.
Danny will no longer have knowledge points, but in order to tamper ANYTHING he needs to study it. His tampering stays the same with the same minigame, it's like tampering without knowledge.
Danny would lose access to Choose Flight for the same reason Connie loses it.
His ability tree will now reflect this

1. Tamper Effectiveness LVL 3: Each tap on the Tamper minigame is increased by 30%.
2. Silent Tampering LVL 3: Tampering on the Tamper minigame is silent.
3. Tampered Objective Highlight: Highlights any Tampered Objectives to all Victims.

CLOSE ENCOUNTERS

The problem with Close Encounters before from a victim perspective was getting the "Close Encounter won" prompt and immediately getting hit and shit on. That sucked. All the devs really needed to fix was the LONGGGGGGGGGG win animations and give both the family and Victims control of their character.
Now for both of these suggestions I still say have the victory animation end faster and NOT insta kill you when you are hit during it:

1. Revert Close Encounters so getting hit at ALL instant kills Victims

• Close Encounters were fine and had a CLEAR risk/reward.

1. Make it so when you are in a Close Encounter and a victim gets hit, the victim receives 30% more damage, the Close Encounter immediately is ended for both the family member and the victim as they are given control of their characters and the victim that is hit loses ALL stamina.

• This change would keep the current Close Encounters not being thatttt punishing when you are hit once but it would still leave the victim open to get hit and even killed in most cases.

MORE CLOSE ENCOUNTER CHANGES

When both a victim and family member are grappling, have each of their stamina refill normally. HOWEVER when a victim wins the Close Encounter fully deplete the family member's stamina.

• It seems weird to me that you can be stunned from a Close Encounter and have more stamina than the victim that just knocked you in your face.

Johnny will have a 20% increased grappling effectiveness

• This just makes sense and Johnny is already fat and can't follow Victims through 99% of the map.

Have Hitchhiker be stunned the longest from Close Encounters

• Hitchhiker’s Close Encounter stun is non-existent. you can stun a Hitchhiker and he will be right back on your ass in 0.5 seconds whereas big buff johnny spends an eternity recovering from getting his ears pulled.

Family members should get stunned from longest stun duration to shortest stun duration in this order:
HitchhikeSissy -> Cook/Nancy -> Johnny

• It makes sense for skinny characters to get stunned the longest seeing as they trade power for mobility, and also Cook and Nancy being stunned a bit less than Hitch and Sissy would be because they are fat.

DOORS & SLAMS

Doors should be able to be slammed while running.
The only way to get a door slam would be if the door is closed and you run into it.
Both family members and Victims will be able to door slam if the door is closed and they are running towards it (much like it is now).
When a family member or victim does perform a door slam have them slow down like Bubba does when he slams open a door.

• Door slams as of right now are very jank and frustrating for both sides really, this would make door slams very risky to go for instead of now where Victims can get hit and stun you for seemingly 10 years.

Door slam stun duration is now affected by the strength stat.
for Family it would use their hidden strength stat and it would also damage Victims nowhere near the amount that Tenderizer does.

• Door damage could be a base of 10 and it can scale depending on what strength each family member has.
• Strength not affecting door slams is very odd as the whole point of the stat is to affect the stun durations against family members.
• For family members the stun duration isn't that big of a deal considering you can just hit them immediately with the changes to i-frames, however increased stun duration could mean someone like Johnny can deal a little extra damage and keep the victim on the floor for longer so Bubba gets closer.

GRANDPY & BLOOD

Have blood buckets start the match empty
Have Bubba’s blood vial be full at the start of the match

• Bubba always kills someone at the start of the match so it doesn't make sense as to why he has 0 blood. With barricades in this game the devs clearly designed family teams to have a Bubba and while you aren't FORCED to run Bubba every game this would really incentivize more people to play Bubba as they will have a free level to feed Grandpa when he wakes up.

This would also be nice for newer bubba players as they won't stay in the basement too long. (hopefully)
When Grandpa first wakes up and its by a victim being too loud, the noisy victim will be highlighted to all for 5 seconds

• Punish waking up Grandpa by not only allowing a bubba to immediately go up and give Grandpa 1 level, but reveal their location to every player.

Have the cooldown for stabbing grandpa be seperate from when Grandpa recovers so that you can stab grandpa quicker

• I don't think blood builds are at all overpowered, however it is annoying when you have a family member camp Grandpa as Grandpa is at level 4 and you cannot reduce his levels any quicker than they can feed him again. A faster stabbing cooldown would reduce the effectiveness of this very annoying strategy.

OBJECTIVES

CHICKENS
When a victim is loud near chickens they are highlighted to EVERYONE for as long as they are within range of the chickens .

• I figure since Cook can highlight Victims by hearing where you are nuggets is no different and would show Family noisy Victims.

Chickens would be at most key doors, and at EVERY exit gate.

• if Victims don't kill the chickens they run the risk of revealing themselves while doing the lock if they don't approach silently. It opens up another objective for victims to do.

Chickens would have a 1 second delay before being alerted.

• This is just so you can crouch up to nuggets and stab him without him revealing you

GENERATOR
kicking the generator will be considered a loud action and will show the noise vfx

• this just makes sense and it would actually be quite nice for max strengthers while characters like connie will struggle a bit more doing this objective

CAR BATTERY
stays the same
FUSEBOX
Victims must first unlock the fusebox like they would with the door minigames.
There are 2 chunks, each chunk of the door that is complete will break your lockpick. making Victims go and gather more lockpicks to open the fusedoor. This would be affected by proficiency.
When you open the fusedoor you have to then install the fuse which would be around 6 seconds and then do the minigame.
The minigame would stay mostly the same with the only change i'd suggest is having to install all 4 of the buttons. "installing" for each button would be around 6-12 seconds with this action being affected by proficiency.
Once all of them are installed you can then pull the lever and basement exit will function like normal. once it is open all Victims have to do is reopen.

• Current fusebox can be rushed INSANELY quick, like on gas station you can have that fusebox open in like 30 seconds. without a Hitchhiker this objective becomes too easy to complete.
• the fusebox installation utilizing proficiency will also make it so a character like leland, who has low profieciency, can't complete the objective in the same amount of time as an objective based character like connie can.

VALVE
this objective no longer has a map wide sound when it is installed, however you must now install the valve handle into the valve. this would just be a simple interaction that takes around 6 seconds to do.
the valve turning no longer has a loud noise associated with it, you turn the valve open like how family turns the valve to close it. the turning action would be affected by the strength attribute, not proficiency.

• turning a valve loudly doesn't make sense

if the valve has gone off and the pressure gates are open, a family member will have to go and turn the valve off for it to begin de-pressurizing, if you don't turn the valve off it will stay open.
when it is de-pressurizing after being opened both victims and family will not be able to interact with it (like it is now).

TAMPERED OBJECTIVES

tampering is now changed to be sort of an upgrade to the objectives.
danny being a sort of endgame character would want to try and tamper as much objectives as he can so that he can help his friends escape.
tampering an objective would basically make it easier for that objective to be complete.
you would first tamper, and once the objective is tampered you have to disable it the regular way.
if an objective is tampered and NOT turned off or completed family can make the decision to have a family member patrol said objective or they risk danny's wrath.
TAMPERED VALVE
when the valve is tampered danny still has to turn the valve. family can interact with it. what changes here is the tampered valve will pressurize 3x as fast, this gives family the counterplay to stop the pressure gates from opening but it also might scare the family team into having a family member guard the pressure valve.
the tampered valve will repressurize x3 as slow, meaning the pressure gates would still stay open very long even if the family turned the valve off.
TAMPERED GENERATOR
the generator would still stay off for x3 as long, however the generator pulls would be increased and the skillcheck would be faster, making it harder to turn it on.
a tampered generator would take less kicks aswell.
TAMPERED CAR BATTERY
tampered car battery would be exactly like the generator, it would stay off for x3 as long and turning it on would take a bit longer.
a tampered car battery would be turned off much faster
TAMPERED FUSEBOX
the fusebox has to be opened in order to be studied. tampering will make the installation much faster and would have the same effects that it does now.

VICTIM PERK CHANGES

EFFICIENT GRAPPLEEFFICIENT BACKSTABBEEFFICIENT LOCKSMITH
These 3 perks will have 1/2/3 charges.

• These perks are both very situational but there is the potential to have endless bone scraps or endless lockpicks. So to limit that from happening I would say just to make them each use charges.

EXTRA DRIP
After using a health item, you will continue to receive 1/2/3 HP for 15 seconds (from 2/4/6 HP for 8/10/12 seconds)

• While this perk isn't overpowered by any means it does make bounce back better, the perk that literally increases the amount of health you get from health bottles, pretty irrelevant. a simple solution is to have this heal a bit less over a slightly longer period of time

AGITATOR
Incapacitating Grandpa has a greater negative affect on the Family. Family bond is reduced by (1.25/1.5/2) levels. (from 1.5/2/2.5)
OR
Incapacitating Grandpa has a greater negative affect on the Family. Grandpa is disabled for 9/12/15 additional seconds.

• This perk deletes blood builds for pretty little effort on the Victim’s part, i can see this perk doing either of these options

JUMP START
When sprinting at full stamina your initial sprint speed is increased by 5%/10%/15%.

• This perk basically gives you double the amount of sprint bursts. I thought since the name is "jump start" that this perk would trigger when a victim is at full stamina and can be used as a quick maneuver.

FAST HANDS
If a Family member is within 6 meters you turn the Car Battery off 10%/15%/20% faster.

• I really don't think this perk should even exist. But it shouldn't just be diet Connie.

SAFETY IN NUMBERS
Receive a 10% bonus to your max health and stamina for every 1/2/3 Victims that are alive and have not escaped.

• This perk is so close to being viable but it almost punishes you for running it as all of its value is taken away without any of the player's input.

OR
just increase the bonus from 15% to 20% lol
BAR ROOM HERO
have this perk affect stuns from bubba's overhead and it's an easy S tier perk. (prob)
SLIPPERY
After using a crawl space or gap you move 5%/10%/15% faster for 5 seconds. The Cooldown is 40 seconds.
TAE KWAN DOOR
Slamming doors on Family members will stun the target for an additional 2/3.5/5 seconds.

• With stun immunity reduced to 5 seconds this perk should also be toned down a bit.

S.O.S (AM I BLEEDING?)
When a victim's health is below 10%/25%/40% they become highlighted to you and you become highlighted to them.

• I would change this perk's name and function as it is so unbelievably useless I have never even used it. This perk can be nice on leland or vagina as they have their ways of helping other Victims.

BAD BLOOD
upon death you shit and piss yourself

• this change really adds a whole new way to play the game, for some people it might add a bit too much ways to play the game.

FULL HEARTS
All healing items within 15m/20m/25m are highlighted.

• this perk still would suck but at least it'd have some niche use with a healing build

WELL TRAINED
All bone scrap and unlock tools within 15/20m/25m are highlighted.

• full hearts but with funny stabby boners

DEAD WEIGHT
When you are the last Victim alive, Family members within 5m/6m/7m from you are highlighted

• lets face it, you are not going to win a 3v1 EVER, this would just be for funsies. this could have a cooldown if it is """"""""""""too op""""""""""""""""""""

JUMP SCARE
Triggering bone charms and chickens replenishes 20%/30%/40% stamina. Cooldown is 20/18/16 seconds.

• this perk is very situational but if movement speed perks are going to be toned down this should be changed aswell.

STUNT DOUBLE
Receive less damage when jumping out of windows or climbing down wells, and get back on your feet faster after doing so. Damage received is 25%/30%/40% less.

• this perk is a bit too good at tanking damage. a slight decrease to the numbers is all it needs.

FAMILY PERK CHANGES

WIRE FRAME
Consume 15%/20%/25% less Stamina when traversing

• With the changes to how traversal works this perk can be unique for Hitchhiker by allowing him to keep up in a chase.

SCOUT
Your movement speed is increased by 5%, but melee damage is reduced by 25%/20%/15%.
OR
Your movement speed is increased by 5%, but stamina usage is increased by 50%/45%/40%.

• this perk is very busted and its downside has little to no impact. speed increasing perks should have more risk to them and with scout you have none of that. if choose flight was toned down this perk should have followed right after.

DINNER BELL
When a Victim is caught in a trap you instantly regain 30%/40%/50% of your stamina and your movement speed is increased by 10% for 15 seconds.

• a pretty good perk but with the changes to hightlighting Victims that are trapped being basekit i figure this perk gets a different buff to it

SECURITY PINS
When a Victim breaks your Padlock they are highlighted for every family member to see for 5/6/7 seconds.
OR
You have 1 less padlock but your movement speed is increased by 15% and your attack damage is increased by 20%.

• an obnoxious perk that gets countered by the best characters in the game, with those characters toned down a bit this perk should be aswell. the 1 less padlock concept is for the lols.

POISON CLAWS
When you hit a Victim for 3 consecutive hits apply a slight poison effect for 2/4/6 seconds.

• the perk that made nancy somewhat viable, with her buffs i think this can be toned down and made into something more rewarding for both parties (mostly family)

PREY DRIVE
Spotting a Victim decreases stamina consumption by (20%/30%/40%) for (5/10/15) seconds.

• not good. slow ass cook would NEVER catch you, but this change can at least make chase cook slightly viable by affecting stamina consumption instead of recharge.

DRACULA
Winning a Close Encounter increases your maximum blood capacity by 15%/20%/25%. while losing a Close Encounter gives you 40 blood.

• this should be THE blood perk. winning Close Encounters is hard already without the grappler grandpa perk, with the johnny changes this perk would open up so much more ways to play.

I SMELL BLOOD
Highlights Victim blood trails within 4m/5m/6m

• this perk sucks but at least incorperate blood somehow.

CHICKEN WHISPERER
You will not disturb chickens. When chickens are disturbed by a Victim instantly refill 50/60/70% stamina and increases your movement speed by 10% for 15 seconds

• with chickens being a main objective of some sorts i'd love to see this perk actually be META.........

PACK ANIMAL
After being hit with a sneak attack, stunned with a door or Close Encounter the attacking Victim is highlighted for 3/6/9 seconds.

• this perk is actually pretty neat as a starter perk, but it could also apply on Close Encounters.

PATIENCE
Standing still reduces your Family proximity warning range to 0 for 5/6/7 seconds.
OR
When following a footprint trail your stamina consumption is reduced by 15%/20%/25%.

• johnny's only unique perk. sad. i was thinking having this be stealth oriented or chase oriented.

GRANDPA PERKS

EXTERIOR ALARMS
this perk should only activate when the exit area door is unlocked and the door is opened. other than that its fine
NOBODY ESCAPES HELL
since security pins has had its obnoxious slowdown removed this perk being bumped up to 50% is good because at least you can stab grandpa to remove the family's value.
The minigame for locked doors is 50% more difficult for all Victims.
WINDOOM/WELL WELL WELL
Victims take 70% more damage when jumping out of windows or falling down a well.

• combine them and increase it a bit more, if stunt double affects wells and windows this perk should aswell.

BARGE TO THE POINT
Door slam damage is doubled.

• there are like 3 perks in this game that affect barging doors, why. this change builds on the door slam rework by opening a different style of gameplay for family players.

BLOODLUST
Leatherface does 10%/15%/20% more damage after executing a victim.

• to fit with the name, bubba would gain a stackable bonus for every family member he kills.

ROUGHCUT
just make it stack like serrated. if serrated stacks why shouldn't this perk? also apply it to overhead attacks.
BRINGING HOME THE BACON
Leatherface gains 25%/30%/35% increase to his maximum blood capacity when executing a Victim at the gallows. Carrying a Victim highlights Leatherface to all Family members.

• this makes more sense as you bring home the blood to grandpa after doing this.

YOU'LL PAY FOR THAT!
If Grandpa is incapacitated, your damage dealt to Victims is increased by (15%/20%/25%) for 40 seconds.

• this perk is almost good. it just doesn't last long at all.

MAP CHANGES + CRAWL SPACES

Any instance of a wall gap that makes Victims enter a completely different side of the map will now be changed to crawl spaces. This means Bubba can destroy the many instances where Victims can endlessly loop around a structure.
There should NEVER be an instance of the valve and fusebox spawning near each other as it makes an unwinnable game for victims if family members just camp the other 2 exits. Mostly an issue with Nancy's House.
Barricades should either be somewhat unsafe or completely safe, either ALL of them are safe or NONE of them are. There are many barricades on maps that are laughably bad and are actually better if they aren't broken (Gas station garage basement barricade)
NANCY HOUSE
this map can be unfair with rng if the valve and fusebox spawn next to each other.

1. the long white fence gaps in the front of Nancy's house should be made into walkways. there are many places to hide so i don't get why its so safe up there
2. the white door on Nancy's back porch should be a walkway
3. remove the wall gap from johnny's shack

SLAUGHTERHOUSE
this is the worst map in the game. it is way too safe and there are many instances of needing all 3 family members to just flush out 1 victim.

1. have the blue cargo container and any other container be an open container like in gas station.
2. reduce the wall gaps in the area before the car battery
3. in the facility generator area change the wall gap next to the well into a crawl space

GAS STATION
gas station is a pretty balanced map. nothing too much but a few gaps.

1. the restroom wall gap would be changed to a crawl space

FAMILY HOUSE
i think family house is fine as is, its family sided sure but with the changes to hitchhiker and cook it should be more manageable.

1. the upstairs luggage room's wall gap will be changed to a walkway that fatties can get through. the gap next to it will also be a walkway.
2. if the generator spawns outside by the shed the valve will NOT spawn there

LEADERBOARD CHANGES

depending on what role you are playing as the leaderboard would display different information only visible to the team you are on
these changes aim to give players that do not use comms or group up information they wouldn't have without using chat or mic. and also to remove the cheese strategy of knowing how much progress a victim has on an objective.
BOTH

• Victims and family cannot see eachother's score until the game is over
• Victims and Family will be able to see eachother's builds and attributes in the endgame screen.

VICTIMS

• Victims can see the health of every victim and what items they have on them
• Victims can see what exit each victim has gone through

FAMILY

• Family can see how much blood each family member has in their vial and how much of their unique items (such as traps or padlocks) that they have on hand

Closing thoughts

i spent too much time on this. but this game is good and i want to see it succeed.
thank you devs

I’m almost a month late posting this🤦🏽‍♀️ lol, but I FINALLY had my baby girl!!! I’ve honestly just been getting used to & enjoying motherhood. This will be very lengthy, but I just want to give details that I feel are needed for a FTM. I was originally due on February 19th. Baby girl was veryyy very stubborn, and she just was looking very comfortable lol. I knew in my gut that she was going to make some sort of grand entrance lol. My OB set up an induction for February 28th at 6pm, and I was set to have my last OB appt on the 26th (exactly 41 week mark), if nothing happened before then. At that appointment baby girl was measuring at 8lbs 15oz lol. The OB even had a convo with me about a possible C Section because of shoulder dystocia (DO NOT GOOGLE IT….trust me there’s nothing to even worry about). I did Google it, and was very worried that I would end up having my first child via C-Section. That same night at around 11pm I started having what I now know were mild contractions. I thought they were just Braxton Hicks that I’d had here and there at first, but I started logging them in my Notes app on my phone just in case. I knew something was different when they kept coming literally through the entire night. They didn’t really hurt. It was more so uncomfortable. They really just felt like very mild period cramps that would happen every 10-20 min & last about a min each. The next morning, Tuesday 27th I woke up and started losing my mucus plug (that is literally the best name they could’ve given it because looks exactly like a big blob of mucus). It was so much that I was certain that it was the whole thing….(I was wrong lol). I was still having the contractions, but they started coming closer to 10min apart than 20min. Once I started losing my mucus plug I noticed that they became a little stronger than just regular period cramps. It started becoming a strong tightening feeling in my stomach to the point I had to squeeze my toes a lil or squeeze something in my hand to block it out. It still wasn’t really bad though. Around 4pm on Tuesday the contractions started to fizzle out, so at that point I was thinking that maybe I was getting excited for nothing and that I’d make it to my induction. I had this burst of energy to do something last minute nesting, and touch up my hair. At around 7:30pm the contractions picked back up again & stronger. They were coming around every 6-10min now. At around 12:30 on Wednesday Feb. 28th (Induction Day) I lost more of my mucus plug, and again at 2:16am (I was thinking how much more of this stuff could possibly be in me lol). At this point I was drained, and just wanted to get some type of sleep since I was scheduled to be induced at 6pm that evening. I got about 2 hours of half sleep because the contractions did not stop. At around 4:30 the contractions started getting bad. It felt like someone was taking my intestines and wringing them out like a wet rag. It was so bad that I knew that it was about to be time so I pushed myself to get out of bed and take a shower (the warm water helped, but it still didn’t take away the contractions). After I got out of the shower the contractions were coming around every 5min. I called my OB office at around 6:30am because the contractions had gotten to 4min apart and told them everything that was happening and they gave me the ok to go to the hospital. Thankfully the hospital is 5min away from where I live. I was checked into triage by 7:13am. I let the nurses know that I was actually scheduled for an induction later at 6pm and they told me they were waiting on a room, but they’d just keep me in the triage room until then. The contractions were terrible at this point. The nurses told me that I should eat, but the contractions were so close together that I knew if I’d eat anything I’d probably throw it right back up. I was really going through it because there was the tightness of the contractions and there was this pressure in my vagina (imagine you’ve needed to poop for like 3 days and you’ve been holding it. Now imagine that poop feeling like it needs to come out of your vagina). The midwife came into the room at around 2pm to tell me that I was only 2cm dilated and she instructed me to do the mile circuit exercises to help get the baby to come down further. I was moved to my actual labor room and I started doing them. I was supposed to do each one of the 3 for 30min. I only got through 17min of the first (like downward facing dog pose), then I moved onto the 2nd (lying on side stomach with one leg straight and the other one with knee to stomach). The 2nd one only last for about 6min, then I moved onto the 3rd (lunges with the stool). I got through the 3rd one for less than 2 min before the pressure in my vagina was literally unbearable so I laid back down. Less than a minute after I laid down my water broke. It literally gushed/squirted out of me and a lot of that pressure in my vagina was released, but I knew the stomach contractions were going to get worse (& they DID). The whole I’m not going to scream or look a mess completely went out of the window. I was grasping onto the bed railing like my life depended on it. I didn’t want to be bothered by my SO at that point. I told him to shut up a few good times lol. His mom called to check on things (she lives out of state) and I told him to get off the phones. She had 10 kids, so thankfully she completely understood lol. It started getting tot a point where I could feel myself not having almost any energy, and the ice cubes were not doing enough. I asked for the epidural. This was the scary part…it took 2 anesthesiologists to give me the epidural. The first one was having issues, and the 2nd one was having the same. They would put the needle in and I would feel like a little sharp pain in my right side. I’m SO HAPPY I spoke up each time that happened. In total it took them what felt like an hr (more like 40 min & about 10 needle pokes to actually get it). That was probably the only bad hospital experience I had. Imagine having to sit up, have a hot pillow against your stomach, have to hug said hot pillow, not be able to have your SO as the support person in front of you & having to be COMPLETELY still while sitting through contractions/vagina pressure/fluid gushes….literally terrible. Once I got the epidural I felt sooo good lol. I felt cozy warm and the contractions were barely there. I got my cervix checked again (around 7pm) and I was only 4cm. The nurses told me that once I start feeling the pressure again to call them because that would most likely mean it was baby time. At around 9pm I started feeling the pressure again, and hitting the epidural button wasn’t helping. I asked my SO to look because it just felt like something was happening. He took a pic for me & it was definitely something happening lol. I called and when the midwife checked me I was 10cm. I was so excited and nervous. We did a couple of practice pushes and it was honestly just like pooping. I will say that eating a few ice chips in between pushes definitely help. I was pushing like my life depended on it because I didn’t want to have a leap year baby lol. I had them set up a mirror and even though it was my body I wasn’t ready to see some of the blood and gore that I did lol. Everything was easy peasy, laughs and giggles even UNTIL her head started coming out…..then I felt that ring of FIRE everyone talks about. That’s definitely what it feels like….I was screaming more than I’d done during the contractions….I had to literally block everyone out in that moment and remember that I was so close to meeting my baby girl. I gently pushed just bit by bit because I felt like I needed to ease myself into it cause the pain to keep pushing hard was too much. Then I felt her head push through and her body almost just slid out. That moment of her being placed on my body was the most beautiful experience. I was almost surreal. I kept thinking it was all a dream & I’d wake up because it was just too good to be true. I heard her little cry, saw her hair & beautiful little face and started crying. I looked up at my SO & he was crying & all he could say is “She’s beautiful”. I barely felt the placenta come out. I just remember like a gooey blob feeling. I remember the midwife telling me that I didn’t tear, and I was barely even excited about that (I was just so caught up in the moment with my baby) It was just a really touching moment that I will never forget. My baby girl Alora Rose was born on February 28th, 2024 at 11:12pm. She was 21in long, weighing at 7lbs 12oz. I had the best hospital experience. Everyone was so so sweet and caring to me, my baby & my SO. To anyone about to have their first baby: I’m not going to lie and say it wasn’t the worst pain I’ve ever felt. It was, but HONESTLY & TRULY I would do it over & over to have my baby in my arms (like she is rn while I’m writing this🥺💕). You will most likely say you’ll never do this again. It will most likely feel like you won’t get through it in some moments…but just remember that the only way through a contraction is to breathe through. SPEAK UP if something feels wrong!!! Most of all, remember the only way to your sweet baby/babies is through the process. TRUST the process, Mama! You’re stronger than you could ever know (until you have a baby lol). Praying that you have nothing less than a safe delivery & healthy baby💕

Well, it's official. After suffering for years without answers, I finally was able to see a doctor who stopped wasting my time and found it.
(Questions about advice at end of post)

Backstory

I'm 23 now, and had been having decently bad period pain since about 16. I had been to a gyno a few times, but every time, instead of doing a thorough exam, they would just send me home on a new medication and leave it as that. I went through several pills and shots, but they never helped my pain, and would just end up giving me more uncomfortable side-effects that lasted the whole month. After a while, they told me that some people just have painful periods, and it was left as that.
Once I turned 21, my parents' insurance didn't cover gynecology anymore. Any hope of being able to figure this out anytime soon was lost. Unfortunately for me, from that point on, my periods brought on a pain that was like no other. It was at this point where every period just felt more and more painful than the last.

The Monthly Experience

Every month feels like I am subjected to a fiery torture that came straight from the depths of Hell. My insides feel as if they are on fire. As if someone took a pitchfork and put it in a fire until it was glowing red, then stabbed my midsection through out my back. Then dragged it downward, searing my flesh as it burned through my organs.
I usually just lay curled up in a ball in bed all day and cry. I can't get up to eat, use the bathroom, or shower, nor would I want to do any of those things because the pain makes me forget about them all. There had been times when I ended up vomiting on myself due to the severity of the pain and being unable to move. All I could do was pray and wait for it all to end.
But I'm sure those here are familiar with what I'm describing.
Along with that "grand finale", I also experience painful ovulation, occasional mid-cycle bleeding, pain when using the restroom and passing gas (mostly right before the grand finale), lower back pain, and pain when inserting anything into my vagina (even tampons). I also have pain when stimulating my clitoris as well as my nipples. This pain has been getting progressively worse through the years, so I have an assumption that this could also be caused by endo.

What Was Found/Next Step

At my appointment, they did an ultrasound with a vaginal probe. It hurt like hell. It felt like it lasted forever, but it didn't take her long to find it. She then put her finger inside me and said she could physically feel the endo between my womb and my bowels.
At this point, she doesn't know if they are fused together, but there's a decent possibility they are.
She wasn't able to find my ovaries due to me being in too much pain for her to go any deeper. Therefore, at the end of the appointment, she scheduled me for a laparoscopy or possible laparotomy (depending on the severity of my case) two weeks from now. At that point, I'll be able to see if I have any cysts.
She also talked about starting me on yet another contraceptive, Zoely. I'm curious if anyone here has had any experience with this one?

Where I'm in Need of Advice

So the absolute biggest thing on my mind right now is hysterectomies.
I already have epilepsy, which I depend on medication for that I will most likely have to depend on for the rest of my life. Problem is, the mass majority of contraceptives interact with anticonvulsants, including the one that I was just prescribed after my visit (Zoely). Yes, I did mention my epilepsy to my doctor during my visit, and she still decided to prescribe this.
I've been thinking about getting a hysterectomy for a long time, but maybe that comes from having seemingly endless pain. Since I was a little kid, I've known I didn't want to have children. I've just never had a maternal instinct. And I, in all honesty, have no positive connection with my uterus and ovaries and don't think I would miss them.
Those pre-existing feelings aside, from a medical standpoint, I don't want to have to be reliant on two medications, until at least menopause, that interact negatively with each other. This could be plain ignorance speaking, but it seems like it would be easier to have a hysterectomy and be done with the pain and medications that come with this condition. Yes, I'm aware that having a [full] hysterectomy will put your body immediately into menopause, which comes with its own set of challenges.
The only reason why I didn't bring it up the first visit was because I thought it would be weird. I just felt like most people wouldn't be so gun-hoe to remove their sex organs, especially at their first appointment.
I'm curious what your experiences are with hysterectomies, pros and cons, and just advice in general on how, as a newly-diagnosed person, you should approach life with this condition.
If you've come this far, thank you very much for reading. Hopefully, I formatted this correctly as it's my first time here🙂

*** Edit : C'est OK pour ce qui est nom de "filles". Maintenant, c'est pour les futurs "mecs" que je cherche ! Ah, pis ça a pas besoin d'exister, juste des idées :D **\*
Bonsoir :D
Comme dit dans le titre, c'est totalement HS, mais qui mieux que vous pourrait m'aider à trouver des potentiels noms pour ma future portée d'Abyssins ?!
En effet, je cherche des noms sympas en "V", j'ai envie de sortir des sentiers battus, et je cherche des noms "drag", de "strippers", etc...
J'ai déjà :

• VeriKjut
• Vavavoom

Je rajoute :

• Vanjie (merci @Long_Response_8784)
• Velvet Loulou

... et il m'en faudrait encore 2-3 autres pour des "filles" et je sèche total niveau futurs "couillus" :(
Ah, y'a PAS de mauvaise réponse, faut juste que ce soit des noms pas trop "trash" (genre "Vulva", "Vagina", "Va-jay-jay" ou "Verge", parce que, sur un pedigree, ça le fera pas, même si ça m'amuserait beaucoup :D... Et, dit autrement, j'ai envie de pouvoir offenser plein de vieilles dames, mais que ça passe un peu inaperçu ^_^ Yes, I'm THAT bitch !)
Mille mercis d'avance, et j'espère que ma question à la con vous fera marrer et qu'elle vous inspirera. <3
ETA : Et si vous avez d'autres idées marrantes, je prends aussi, mais en "V", c'est pas évident, et les trucs genre "Victoire", "Valentin", "Vénus", etc., je trouve super chiant ! J'avais aussi pensé partir sur des noms de cépages, d'alcool, mais... C'est trèèèès réduit, à part "Viognier" (un cépage que j'adore, au demeurant) et "Vodka", y'a pas grand chose qui marcherait comme nom :/