I (f, 22) just wanted to vent somewhere people will actually understand. I’ve been dealing with GP for about 4 years now and finally got diagnosed last year, i had the botox injection in september and was in hospital for around a month, didn’t have to go back to a&e at all until the end of march where it all started happening again. for the first time in years i actually felt free and i was able to live as close to a normal life as i could, obviously being careful in what i ate and portion size but pretty much had freedom to eat what i wanted when i wanted and it just made me feel somewhat like a normal person.
since the end of march i’ve been in and out of hospital, i had another round of botox early april but that didn’t seem to help and the doctors couldn’t explain why, they said maybe it wasn’t injected in the right place or they didn’t use enough, they honestly were nearly as clueless as i was. in the end they decided to repeat the botox, that was just over a week ago. i was sent home the same day, had to go back to a&e later that evening, was sent home 2 days later and again was back in a&e that same evening. i’ve now been kept as an inpatient for a week and i’m still finding it hard to eat/drink without being sick and feeling really intense stomach pain, it gets to the point where i’m rolling around, crying and screaming in pain. doctors don’t seem to do much at all other than keep me on regular IV cyclizine and metoclopramide for sickness, subcutaneous morphine injections for the pain and a sliding scale to manage my T1DM.
when i was healthy for that october-march period i’d managed to gain some weight and was around 50kg, a week ago i was back to the godforsaken 46kg i seemed to always be stuck at before, and now i’ve gone down to 43kg which has been really disheartening and has taken a toll on my mental health. i felt i was doing so well, not only had i gained weight but also muscle, i was exercising more than i ever could have before and even walking 10-12km a day, now i can barely walk down the hall without feeling drained. i managed to get a job which i was doing quite well at and it was my first job, at 22, because i could never get hired before due to being so unreliable with my condition, luckily they understand what i have to deal with as it is my boyfriend’s family business.
i don’t know, everything is just making me feel really down and depressed and all i want is to be able to go home and go back to my life. staff at hospital also don’t help, the majority are nice but i still get comments from certain nurses who accuse me of faking to get medication or who complain when i’m crying as i’m “disturbing others” when there’s nothing i can do. i hate the way my body looks again, i hate the gap between my thighs and how i can see my ribs and bony shoulders. i hate my arms even more, all the bruises and needle marks from blood tests and IV drips, it makes me look like a junkie and i find myself crying because of it a lot.
i’ve been referred to another hospital for a consultation regarding a G-POEM but still haven’t heard from them yet. it’s just getting to the point where i’m feeling so hopeless and helpless. i’ve also been put back on anti depressants and taking diazepam regularly to help with the anxiety and distress it all causes.
at home i smoke weed, a decent amount, which helps with my appetite and also helps with my mental health struggles but obviously being in hospital i haven’t been able to smoke which makes everything so much worse as i don’t have anything to distract myself from what’s happening. some days smoking is the only thing that will get me to eat and keep me from having anxiety toward food.
my boyfriend (m, 29) and his family have been really supportive and they’re pretty much the only reason i haven’t spiraled into a full on mental health crisis, he visits nearly everyday and so does his mother who has been such a huge support for me as my own family aren’t there for me. i actually asked my mother if she would come visit me, i knew she wouldn’t, but i did it anyway, she came up with a bullshit excuse as to why she couldn’t and that nearly broke me because i was already feeling so low and on top of that i then felt rejected by my own mother, i should’ve known better but at that moment i just needed my mom. the one who came through for me that day was my boyfriend’s mom who came to see me as soon as she found out how upset i was, she held me, she let me cry and hugged me so tightly and reassured me i was loved and cared for. she’s truly been the mother i needed through this.
i know that i can be somewhat healthy and live almost normally, but right now things are just so bleak and i’m struggling to see a way out, all i want is to just be normal, it’s all i’ve wanted my entire life and it’s like no matter what i will never get that. i’ve had T1DM since i was 9 with 2 diabetes related comas under my belt by age 10, PTSD, depression, and anxiety since 12, and the GP since i was 18, it’s like i can’t catch a break. no one understands what it’s like but i keep getting told “i get it” or “i relate to that” and i know people are trying to make me feel better but to me it just comes across as diminishing what i’m going through and have been going through for so long. I was also recently told just how bad my GP is and i just couldn’t stop crying for hours, i was always told it was ‘severe’ but now i know that i have 96% retention after 4 hours and all it did was make me feel even more hopeless.
sorry for the long post, i just really don’t know where else to go where people might ACTUALLY understand what i’m going through

I know the title sounds a little crazy, but hear me out. When I was seven years old,, I got hit by a car, and from what I can remember was told, I was put into a sling for months. Fast-forward 20 years from then I start getting muscle pain ,bone ache ,and went to many different specialists, but was constantly told that it was nothing more than frozen shoulder, and basically there was nothing could be done about it besides Cortizone shots and physical therapy, which I had plenty of. Now, I am almost 50 and just found out last year that the arm that was injured when I was seven, Now has no cartilage left, is bone on bone and needs a total replacement surgery, which I am having at the end of this month. Is it even possible now to file a malpractice claim from either the doctor when the car accident happened, or any of the doctors who apparently misdiagnosed me?

The proper shooting stance is fundamental to achieving accuracy, control, and consistency in pistol shooting. Whether you're a seasoned shooter or just starting out, mastering the correct stance can significantly improve your shooting performance. In this guide, we'll explore the key elements of a proper pistol shooting stance and offer tips for achieving stability, accuracy, and control on the range.
Elements of a Proper Pistol Shooting Stance:
A proper pistol shooting stance involves a balanced and stable posture that allows for effective recoil management, sight alignment, and trigger control. Here are the key elements to consider:

1. Feet Position: Stand with your feet shoulder-width apart, with your dominant foot slightly staggered ahead of the other. Distribute your weight evenly between both feet to maintain stability and balance.
2. Body Alignment: Square your shoulders and hips to the target, maintaining a natural and relaxed posture. Avoid leaning forward or backward, as this can affect your balance and stability.
3. Knee Flexion: Bend your knees slightly to absorb recoil and provide a more stable shooting platform. Keep your knees soft and relaxed, avoiding locking them out or crouching too low.
4. Upper Body Position: Lean slightly forward from the waist, maintaining a slight bend in your torso. This helps to align your shoulders and arms with the target and facilitates a more natural and comfortable shooting posture.
5. Arm Extension: Extend your shooting arm fully toward the target, with a slight bend in the elbow. Keep your support arm close to your body for balance and stability, with the elbow bent and the hand positioned comfortably under the shooting hand.
6. Grip Pressure: Maintain a firm but relaxed grip on the pistol, with equal pressure applied by both hands. Avoid gripping the pistol too tightly, as this can lead to fatigue and diminished dexterity.

Tips for Achieving a Proper Pistol Shooting Stance:

• Practice proper foot placement and weight distribution to ensure a stable and balanced stance.
• Focus on maintaining a relaxed and natural posture, avoiding tension or stiffness in your body.
• Experiment with slight adjustments to your stance to find what feels most comfortable and effective for you.
• Incorporate dry-fire drills and live-fire practice sessions to reinforce proper stance mechanics and improve shooting performance.
• Seek feedback from experienced shooters or firearms instructors to identify areas for improvement and refine your technique.

Conclusion:
Mastering the proper pistol shooting stance is essential for achieving accuracy, control, and consistency on the range. By focusing on key elements such as feet position, body alignment, knee flexion, upper body position, arm extension, and grip pressure, you can develop a stable and effective shooting platform that enhances your shooting performance. At Marksmen Market, we're committed to helping shooters of all skill levels improve their technique and achieve their shooting goals.

Reason why he has wolf characteristics is cause wolves are my favorite animal.
Name Matthew Hammond age 15
Quirk: Power control
Has the ability to control a type of energy only he has.
Ways to use this energy is standard strength and speed by but the power into your muscle fibers and organs to enhance their performance. Matthew can also materialize this power in different ways he traniednto find out how he can do this, for example shock waves or energy tenticals.
The main weakness is energy drain. I know what y'all probably thinking, "this is like every quirks weakness cause I swing your quirk can tire you out", but his quirks energy drain. When he use his quirk, the energy run down and if uses a all out attack he loses the energy and cant use his quirk. But on the good side , this energy grows back over time , and since it's his quirk energy if he goes to where he let out a huge attack, he can absorbed it back. It takes like an hour to get his power back to 100% naturally if he just goes on with his day.
Mutation: * Wolf Ears and Tail: Matthew has permanent wolf-like ears and a tail as a result of his mutation.* Laser Eyes: Matthew can emit powerful laser beams from his eyes. This mutation was a rare coincident.
Also he can share his energy with others to enhance their quirks cause energy works like that I think.
Elemental Forms and Powers:

1. Lightning Form (Name: Volt)

• Powers: Electrokinesis, Enhanced Speed

Weakness: If used too much then it will damage his nervous system temporarily.

1. Fire Form (Name: Blaze):

• Powers: Pyrokinesis, Heat Resistance

Weakness: if you use too much then we'll gain first degree burns.

1. Water Form (Name: Aquos):

• Powers: Hydrokinesis, Water Healing

Weakness: No clear weakness.

1. Ice Form (Name: Frost):

• Powers: Cryokinesis, Enhanced Durability

Weakness: if in a heated area, then he will get weak and slower.

1. Light Form (Name: Radiance):

Weakness: overused will make him temporarily blind

• Powers: Photokinesis, Illusion Projection

1. Darkness Form (Name: Shadow):

• Powers: Umbrakinesis, Intangibility

Weakness: Obviously light. Even a flashlight.

1. Plant Form (Name: Flora):

• Powers: Chlorokinesis, Plant Communication

1. Metal Form (Name: Alloy):

Weakness: Overtime he'll get weaker cause of rust. Water

• Powers: Metalkinesis, Enhanced Strength

1. Earth Form (Name: Terra):

• Powers: Geokinesis, Earth Manipulation

No clear weakness.
How this works is his power works like a computer l well more like just a normal computer, then a virus AKA and elements infects this power and then it slowly corrupts his powers AKA but there until his body is able to use a different elements,the form is only as strong as his original form because the element can only corrupt what is there,not make more power. A little bit of this energy is still there so that it can take back control. Each form has a mind of its own like some dark shadow type thing. The reason why his forms have minds of their own is cause if I gave him full control his forms he would swap to frequently and that would be two strong.
The reason why he can do this is when he was 3 is quirk was developing and he was exposed to radiation messing with his quirk genes and when his quirk developed it added this.
Hero Costume:

• Appearance: Matthew's hero costume features a sleek and modern design. It includes a green suit with black accents, symbolizing his main form's green hair and eyes.
• Symbol: The costume incorporates a stylized emblem combining the symbols of all his elemental forms, representing his fusion abilities.
• Support Items: Matthew carries specialized bracers that enhance his control over his energy whips. Additionally, he has utility pouches to store various tools and gadgets.

He also has tubes that are like water bottle size on this belt that he charges with his energy every night before he goes to bed in case he runs out of energy himself.
Maximum Output Move: Master Elemental

• Description: Matthew channels and combines the energies of all his elemental forms into one ultimate attack.
• Effects: Elemental tattoos appear on his body, symbolizing each element's power. Lightning appears on his head, fire on his chest, water on his left arm, ice on his right arm, light on his left leg, darkness on his right leg, plant on his right shoulder, metal on his left shoulder, and earth on his back. The attack unleashes a devastating and overwhelming burst of elemental energy.

Carrys amounted cannons inspired by Titan speaker man. They harness his power into either energy balls or just flat out lasers.
To make my self clear his max form when he uses all his elements he can only use 1/10 of his forms power including him as the main guy of this whole body.
PERSONALITY
He's smart nice in a way sometimes a prankster if you try to roast him you will go complete PackGod on you, if he's in a bad mood don't try to comfort him you'll just make things worse and not for him for you, he's really cocky, but not bakugo cocky hes just a bit over confident. He is very creative. He loves tech to the point if you break a 30 buck phone around him, let's just say you gonna want to do a crime in front of batman before Matthew finds you.
Favorite food: Red Beans and rice
6ft 2
Hates obsesseve people.
There's some girl who likes him so much she stalks him threatens his girlfriend tried to kiss him by force kidnapped him. She did this to point he couldn't take it any more so he moved to Japan but she still found him.
Any way I hope y'all like my reworked oc

My shoulder blades have tightness and when I bring them back I would hear and feel crunching. I looked online to see if cupping would help with no cases.
After two sessions of cupping tightness is gone and crunching is gone when I pull my shoulder blades back but when I raise my arms in the air there is little crunch. May need to do shoulder cupping and neck

I've seen a lot of questions asking about Push Pull Legs splits, so I figured I would type out an EXAMPLE. As stated, this is an EXAMPLE and does not need to be implemented verbatim to be effective. The example as written would likely be too much for a new lifter. But I just wanted to show exercise selection, exercise placement, and rep ranges.
Any questions feel free to ask !
Day 1: Push A - Clavicular Head Intensive 1- Shoulder warmup (Always ensure you’re good and warmed up before doing ANY push day) 2- Incline DB Press. 2 warmup sets, 2 x 5-8 working sets 3- Incline DB Fly. 1 warmup set, 2 x 8-10 working sets 4- DB Side Lateral Raise. 3 x 8-12 working sets. 5- DB Front Raise, 3 x 8-12 working sets. 6- Triceps Press down. 3 x 8-12 working sets.
Day 2: Pull A - Lat Intensive 1- Pullup warmup (Just do a few sets here without exhausting the muscle) 2- Uni-lateral lat pulldown. 2 warmup sets, 2 x 5-8 working sets 3- Seated Cable Row (Lat Intensive). 1 warmup set, 2 x 5-8 working sets. 4- Pullups (Either traditional or assisted). 3 sets to failure 5- Alternating Dumbbell Curl. 2 x 5-8 working sets 6- Dumbbell Hammer Curl. 2 x 5-8 working sets
Day 3: Legs A - Quad Intensive 1- I always advise to start leg day with stretches. 2- Quad Curls. 2 warmup sets, 2 x 8-12 working sets. 3- Squats (Quad Focused). 2 warmup sets, 2 x 5-8 working sets 4- Lunges. 2 x 8-12 working sets.
Day 4: Rest
Day 5: Push B - Shoulders + Sternocostal Head Intensive 1- Shoulder warmup (Always ensure you’re good and warmed up before doing ANY push day) 2- DB Shoulder Press. 2 warmup sets, 2 x 5-8 working sets 3- Machine Shoulder Press. (If available) 1 warmup set, 2 x 5-8 working sets. 4- Flat DB Press. 1 warmup set, 2 x 5-8 working sets. 5- Pec Dec or Flat DB Fly. 1 warmup set, 2 x 8-12 working sets 6- DB Side Lateral Raise. 3 x 8-12 working sets.
Day 6: Pull B - Back Thickness Intensive 1- Pullup warmup (Just do a few sets here without exhausting the muscle) 2- Upper Back Pulldown. 2 warmup sets, 2 x 5-8 working sets 3- Barbell or DB Row. 1 warmup set, 2 x 5-8 working sets. 4- Seated Cable Row (Thickness Intensive). 1 warmup set, 2 x 5-8 working sets. 5- Pullups (Either traditional or assisted). 3 sets to failure 6- Dumbbell Hang Curl. 2 x 5-8 working sets 7- Preacher Curl. 2 x 5-8 working sets
Day 7: Legs B - Hamstring Intensive 1- I always advise to start leg day with stretches. 2- Hamstring Curls. 2 warmup sets, 2 x 8-12 working sets. 3- Squats (Hamstring Focused). 2 warmup sets, 2 x 5-8 working sets 4- Romanian Deadlift. 2 warmup sets, 2 x 8-12 working sets. 5- Glute Bridges
Rest
Repeat

I've seen a lot of questions asking about Push Pull Legs splits, so I figured I would type out an EXAMPLE. As stated, this is an EXAMPLE and does not need to be implemented verbatim to be effective. The example as written would likely be too much for a new lifter. But I just wanted to show exercise selection, exercise placement, and rep ranges.
Any questions feel free to ask !
Day 1: Push A - Clavicular Head Intensive 1- Shoulder warmup (Always ensure you’re good and warmed up before doing ANY push day) 2- Incline DB Press. 2 warmup sets, 2 x 5-8 working sets 3- Incline DB Fly. 1 warmup set, 2 x 8-10 working sets 4- DB Side Lateral Raise. 3 x 8-12 working sets. 5- DB Front Raise, 3 x 8-12 working sets. 6- Triceps Press down. 3 x 8-12 working sets.
Day 2: Pull A - Lat Intensive 1- Pullup warmup (Just do a few sets here without exhausting the muscle) 2- Uni-lateral lat pulldown. 2 warmup sets, 2 x 5-8 working sets 3- Seated Cable Row (Lat Intensive). 1 warmup set, 2 x 5-8 working sets. 4- Pullups (Either traditional or assisted). 3 sets to failure 5- Alternating Dumbbell Curl. 2 x 5-8 working sets 6- Dumbbell Hammer Curl. 2 x 5-8 working sets
Day 3: Legs A - Quad Intensive 1- I always advise to start leg day with stretches. 2- Quad Curls. 2 warmup sets, 2 x 8-12 working sets. 3- Squats (Quad Focused). 2 warmup sets, 2 x 5-8 working sets 4- Lunges. 2 x 8-12 working sets.
Day 4: Rest
Day 5: Push B - Shoulders + Sternocostal Head Intensive 1- Shoulder warmup (Always ensure you’re good and warmed up before doing ANY push day) 2- DB Shoulder Press. 2 warmup sets, 2 x 5-8 working sets 3- Machine Shoulder Press. (If available) 1 warmup set, 2 x 5-8 working sets. 4- Flat DB Press. 1 warmup set, 2 x 5-8 working sets. 5- Pec Dec or Flat DB Fly. 1 warmup set, 2 x 8-12 working sets 6- DB Side Lateral Raise. 3 x 8-12 working sets.
Day 6: Pull B - Back Thickness Intensive 1- Pullup warmup (Just do a few sets here without exhausting the muscle) 2- Upper Back Pulldown. 2 warmup sets, 2 x 5-8 working sets 3- Barbell or DB Row. 1 warmup set, 2 x 5-8 working sets. 4- Seated Cable Row (Thickness Intensive). 1 warmup set, 2 x 5-8 working sets. 5- Pullups (Either traditional or assisted). 3 sets to failure 6- Dumbbell Hang Curl. 2 x 5-8 working sets 7- Preacher Curl. 2 x 5-8 working sets
Day 7: Legs B - Hamstring Intensive 1- I always advise to start leg day with stretches. 2- Hamstring Curls. 2 warmup sets, 2 x 8-12 working sets. 3- Squats (Hamstring Focused). 2 warmup sets, 2 x 5-8 working sets 4- Romanian Deadlift. 2 warmup sets, 2 x 8-12 working sets. 5- Glute Bridges
Rest
Repeat

I've seen a lot of questions asking about Push Pull Legs splits, so I figured I would type out an EXAMPLE. As stated, this is an EXAMPLE and does not need to be implemented verbatim to be effective. The example as written would likely be too much for a new lifter. But I just wanted to show exercise selection, exercise placement, and rep ranges.
Any questions feel free to ask !
Day 1: Push A - Clavicular Head Intensive 1- Shoulder warmup (Always ensure you’re good and warmed up before doing ANY push day) 2- Incline DB Press. 2 warmup sets, 2 x 5-8 working sets 3- Incline DB Fly. 1 warmup set, 2 x 8-10 working sets 4- DB Side Lateral Raise. 3 x 8-12 working sets. 5- DB Front Raise, 3 x 8-12 working sets. 6- Triceps Press down. 3 x 8-12 working sets.
Day 2: Pull A - Lat Intensive 1- Pullup warmup (Just do a few sets here without exhausting the muscle) 2- Uni-lateral lat pulldown. 2 warmup sets, 2 x 5-8 working sets 3- Seated Cable Row (Lat Intensive). 1 warmup set, 2 x 5-8 working sets. 4- Pullups (Either traditional or assisted). 3 sets to failure 5- Alternating Dumbbell Curl. 2 x 5-8 working sets 6- Dumbbell Hammer Curl. 2 x 5-8 working sets
Day 3: Legs A - Quad Intensive 1- I always advise to start leg day with stretches. 2- Quad Curls. 2 warmup sets, 2 x 8-12 working sets. 3- Squats (Quad Focused). 2 warmup sets, 2 x 5-8 working sets 4- Lunges. 2 x 8-12 working sets.
Day 4: Rest
Day 5: Push B - Shoulders + Sternocostal Head Intensive 1- Shoulder warmup (Always ensure you’re good and warmed up before doing ANY push day) 2- DB Shoulder Press. 2 warmup sets, 2 x 5-8 working sets 3- Machine Shoulder Press. (If available) 1 warmup set, 2 x 5-8 working sets. 4- Flat DB Press. 1 warmup set, 2 x 5-8 working sets. 5- Pec Dec or Flat DB Fly. 1 warmup set, 2 x 8-12 working sets 6- DB Side Lateral Raise. 3 x 8-12 working sets.
Day 6: Pull B - Back Thickness Intensive 1- Pullup warmup (Just do a few sets here without exhausting the muscle) 2- Upper Back Pulldown. 2 warmup sets, 2 x 5-8 working sets 3- Barbell or DB Row. 1 warmup set, 2 x 5-8 working sets. 4- Seated Cable Row (Thickness Intensive). 1 warmup set, 2 x 5-8 working sets. 5- Pullups (Either traditional or assisted). 3 sets to failure 6- Dumbbell Hang Curl. 2 x 5-8 working sets 7- Preacher Curl. 2 x 5-8 working sets
Day 7: Legs B - Hamstring Intensive 1- I always advise to start leg day with stretches. 2- Hamstring Curls. 2 warmup sets, 2 x 8-12 working sets. 3- Squats (Hamstring Focused). 2 warmup sets, 2 x 5-8 working sets 4- Romanian Deadlift. 2 warmup sets, 2 x 8-12 working sets. 5- Glute Bridges
Rest
Repeat

I've seen a lot of questions asking about Push Pull Legs splits, so I figured I would type out an EXAMPLE. As stated, this is an EXAMPLE and does not need to be implemented verbatim to be effective. The example as written would likely be too much for a new lifter. But I just wanted to show exercise selection, exercise placement, and rep ranges.
Any questions feel free to ask !
Day 1: Push A - Clavicular Head Intensive 1- Shoulder warmup (Always ensure you’re good and warmed up before doing ANY push day) 2- Incline DB Press. 2 warmup sets, 2 x 5-8 working sets 3- Incline DB Fly. 1 warmup set, 2 x 8-10 working sets 4- DB Side Lateral Raise. 3 x 8-12 working sets. 5- DB Front Raise, 3 x 8-12 working sets. 6- Triceps Press down. 3 x 8-12 working sets.
Day 2: Pull A - Lat Intensive 1- Pullup warmup (Just do a few sets here without exhausting the muscle) 2- Uni-lateral lat pulldown. 2 warmup sets, 2 x 5-8 working sets 3- Seated Cable Row (Lat Intensive). 1 warmup set, 2 x 5-8 working sets. 4- Pullups (Either traditional or assisted). 3 sets to failure 5- Alternating Dumbbell Curl. 2 x 5-8 working sets 6- Dumbbell Hammer Curl. 2 x 5-8 working sets
Day 3: Legs A - Quad Intensive 1- I always advise to start leg day with stretches. 2- Quad Curls. 2 warmup sets, 2 x 8-12 working sets. 3- Squats (Quad Focused). 2 warmup sets, 2 x 5-8 working sets 4- Lunges. 2 x 8-12 working sets.
Day 4: Rest
Day 5: Push B - Shoulders + Sternocostal Head Intensive 1- Shoulder warmup (Always ensure you’re good and warmed up before doing ANY push day) 2- DB Shoulder Press. 2 warmup sets, 2 x 5-8 working sets 3- Machine Shoulder Press. (If available) 1 warmup set, 2 x 5-8 working sets. 4- Flat DB Press. 1 warmup set, 2 x 5-8 working sets. 5- Pec Dec or Flat DB Fly. 1 warmup set, 2 x 8-12 working sets 6- DB Side Lateral Raise. 3 x 8-12 working sets.
Day 6: Pull B - Back Thickness Intensive 1- Pullup warmup (Just do a few sets here without exhausting the muscle) 2- Upper Back Pulldown. 2 warmup sets, 2 x 5-8 working sets 3- Barbell or DB Row. 1 warmup set, 2 x 5-8 working sets. 4- Seated Cable Row (Thickness Intensive). 1 warmup set, 2 x 5-8 working sets. 5- Pullups (Either traditional or assisted). 3 sets to failure 6- Dumbbell Hang Curl. 2 x 5-8 working sets 7- Preacher Curl. 2 x 5-8 working sets
Day 7: Legs B - Hamstring Intensive 1- I always advise to start leg day with stretches. 2- Hamstring Curls. 2 warmup sets, 2 x 8-12 working sets. 3- Squats (Hamstring Focused). 2 warmup sets, 2 x 5-8 working sets 4- Romanian Deadlift. 2 warmup sets, 2 x 8-12 working sets. 5- Glute Bridges
Rest
Repeat

I’ve noticed when customising my character that not only do legs and shoulders get more pronounced when upping the muscle slider, but the chest also gets REMOVED. I hope I don’t have to explain that muscle doesn’t just do this to a chest, especially when the fat slider and chest slider are above the medium amount..
I’m probably looking too deep into it, but it’s as if they’re saying women with curves cannot be muscular at the same time, any thoughts on this?

Last year my therapist worked with me to get back into sport and try yoga to help reconnect with my body. Going to yoga, doing sport focused stretching. and physical therapy showed me how incredibly inflexible certain parts of my body are/were.
I spent my whole childhood with my abdominal muscles clenched and my shoulders hunched to protect myself from various people who enjoyed punching me in the stomach and testicles frequently. In my teens, my brother added on constantly making fun of me for "having no ass" and "bouncing like a weirdo" when I walked. I was afraid to make any noise walking in the house and combined with my protective posture it meant I always carried my weight on my calves. Silent as a ninja, nimble like a boxer. Having a flat butt was always a point of self-consciousness for me and something a good deal of other people have mocked as well.
Now a year into working seriously on my back and leg flexibility, I can actually straighten my spine enough where I can feel my center of gravity shift and my spine align into that medical poster properly curved posture. It feels comfortable to stand with "good" posture for the first time in my life, it makes me about a full inch taller which literally changed my perspective, and gives me something to focus on when my mind goes to dark places at boring times. I can breathe more deeply, to the point where the flexibility of my abs is the limiting factor to my breath instead of the expansion of my ribs. Walking in that posture is hard still, but I can feel the weight on my buttocks more and have noticed them filling out a bit more over the last few months. It's no longer uncomfortable for me to sit on the bus, because I have my own butt pad now.
What's funny is now I remember an argument I had with a stranger at the gym who was definitely actually trying to help me. I was doing dead lifts and he came over to correct my posture and warn me about back damage, and kept advising me to "straighten your back more." I felt like I was keeping it as physically straight as possible even with no weight on the bar, and began to feel like he was mocking me because in my head my back was as straight as straight gets. He finally told me something along the lines of I need to work on my flexibility and strength with other exercises first if I can't keep my back straight and I told him "I didn't ask for your advice asshole." He laughed at me and said "hey it's your back, I'm not the asshole here." This proceeded to send me into a PTSD tailspin over the next few days... reminded me of all the "stop hitting yourself! Why are you hitting yourself? Stop hitting yourself!" I endured as a child...
I wonder if he remembers that? NOW I understand what he was seeing. It's funny to see things like this, looking back, with a new perspective, and gain insight into how events cascade into the future to create more trauma (from threats perceived or real).
Anyway, I had a very difficult weekend with mother's day and wanted to spend time reflecting on some progress today. I hope you are all being kind to yourselves, and maybe this post helps you in some way :)

in three weeks, T has helped me put on so much muscle i managed to outgrow a brand new binder that i had purchased to size up to begin with and holy shit the pain of wearing a too-small binder for a full work shift fucked me up. do not try to push through wearing a binder if it feels wrong.
for context, before T, i was really underweight and i couldn't outpace my fast metabolism to gain any meaningful weight. i'm 5'5" and bounced between 100-105lbs and i was strong for my size but that's not saying much versus the general male population. this is where i'd say a huge majority of my dysphoria lived, having narrow shoulders, the little fat i had all being at my hips, people assuming i'm too weak for even basic tasks. so at the start of this year, i really put my nose to the grindstone and have been practicing muay thai and weight-lifting multiple times a week like i used to pre-pandemic. i was doing okay at it! i'm never going to the olympics but i was feeling good.
and then i started T in february. my appetite has exploded and i've been putting away over 2300 calories per day just to not feel so goddamn hungry. i've been focusing on high protein foods and trying to drink a quart of milk a day and two protein shakes. it's also given me more energy and confidence to go workout and practice even if i'm not feeling 100% mentally up to it.
so, between all the food and the working out, i've managed to put on 20lbs of mostly muscle in 3 months and holy shit the difference is real. T is putting a majority of it on my upper body. but then also i don't get as cold as easily, i have more energy all the time, my posture is better, my clothes fit better, this specific dysphoria is evaporating slowly and holy shit i feel alive and present. but there's a catch.
none of my fucking binders fit. at first, say around late-march, i got an inkling my flavnt half-binders were too small. something just felt off cause i can usually forget they're on but i was just so aware of them. so i stopped wearing them and i sized up and bought a new one like 3 weeks ago. it fit and felt great, back to normal i thought. i wear my binders maybe 2-3 times a week normally, but last week i had really physically active work so i didn't wear it until friday with nothing but a t-shirt over it. and by the end of the day i was fucking suffering. i had shooting pains when i moved any part of my upper body. i was getting those cramps you get when running along your ribs, while standing still. i couldn't take it off my entire 8 hr shift + 45 min commute, until i got to my girlfriend's place. i spent the rest of the night switching between curling up into a ball or doing any stretch i could think of to get away from the pain, my girlfriend also gave me a massage but the pain stayed just as bad the entire time, it was constant. it felt like a stomach ache, chest pains, running cramps, and period cramps all at the same time. breathing was like i'd been holding my breath underwater for ages and couldn't catch it again. it went on all night until i took an ibuprofen and got very high, then it finally eased. when i was smoking, i had a hacking coughing fit that i think shook up my lungs and cleared me out, and i also had a laughing fit when i was high and watching youtube that also definitely did something to help in terms of muscle pain. it was the opposite of laughing until you're sore lmao. i'm okay now after a weekend of free-balling it with absolutely no sports bras or any compression and doing some yoga to stretch it out, but christ that was so much pain i was freaked out. and i have a decent pain tolerance! i've been hit by 2 cars, i severed a finger once, i've done combat sports on and off my whole life! i'm never making that mistake again.
the night i was rolling around in pain, my girlfriend wanted to check something. i just happened to have my rib and chest measurements in my phone from when i bought the new binder, so my girlfriend measured me again to check to see just how badly i fucked up, and i went from being 27" around my ribs to being 32" (i'm gonna make these lats into wings) and my chest went from 31" to being 34". my girlfriend just laughed and she just said "you're bulking up too much babe, it's a good problem to have"

Reddit Account: u/Laughingstag
Discord Tag: imaginarysage
Name and House: Daemon Tarreos
Age: 31
Cultural Group: Valyrian
Appearance: White hair and piercing blue eyes mark his heritage. He cuts a solid figure of a professional soldier, considered very fit. Since becoming an officer, he's let his hair grow to his shoulders, though he's known to tie it up. The most striking part of him is his wardrobe - a white tiger pelt cloak that he wears draped over his shoulders, a gift from his adopted father.
Trait: Charismatic
Skill(s): Tactician, Prudent, 2H, Cunning(e)
Talent(s): Language: Westerosi Common, Poetry, Fishing
Negative Trait(s): N/A
Starting Title(s): Praetor of the Lost Legion, the White Tiger, Blade Steward of Ērinnon
Starting Location: Opening event

Biography

Daemon Tarreos, born Daemon of Tyria, was the son of a blacksmith and the great grandson of a legionnaire from the old city of Tyria. Born 6 BC, Daemon was not even out of his smallclothes when the Tyroshi, the Braavosi, and the Durrandons and Targaryens visited fury and fire upon the Volantese, ending its near five decade long uninterrupted control over two of Valyria's daughters and his homeland of Achissa. In the uncertainty and violence that followed, it was only the Lost Legion, a renowned mercenary company structured like the Lockstep Legions of old, that shielded their town.
This inspired Daemon. And by the time he was ten, he'd made up his mind. He was going to be a Legionnaire. By the age of fourteen he'd take steps in making his dream reality, attempting to train in the Legion's fort. He found himself adept with weapons, and his insistence on training did not go unnoticed. He had caught the attention of then praetor of the Tiger Banner, Aelyx Tarreos. A commander of high standing in both the Legion and town of Achissa, he had taken the young Daemon under his wing, earning him the nickname 'Tiger Cub'.
In 17 AC, at the age of 23, Daemon would be named a Sword of the Corps for the Tiger Banner thanks to his cunning mind and Aelyx's tutelage and in 18 AC, Aelyx would become the Legate of the Legion. He appointed Daemon to serve as his Quaestor, managing logistics for the Legion and serving as a higher officer. It was during this time that he served with distinguished service, managing the operations of the Legion in the Disputed Lands. Life moved quickly for Daemon, and he would marry. In 19 AC, he would welcome a daughter into the world, but at the cost of his love who died shortly after childbirth.
After multiple successful campaigns, Aelyx would surprise Daemon by choosing to name his heir, adopting him and allowing him to take his name in the year 20 AC. Unfortunately, not long after in 23 AC disaster would strike: the city of Achissa would come under threat by mercenaries, its position coveted by the regional powers of Myr and Tyrosh. The Legion would make a daring stand at the fields of Achissa but it was for not. Defeated, the Legion made a hasty retreat to Achissa and began the process of evacuating in an attempt to spare the Achissans the fate of slavery.
Getting assistance from the Blue Sails, the remnants of the Legion regrouped in Plankey Town, but had been decimated. Among the casualties was Aelyx Tarreos and the majority of the Banner of the Bull. Embittered by the loss of Achissa, Daemon pledged to find a new home - for his daughter, and his people. Donning the mantle of the White Tiger, Daemon would sway the Officers of the Tiger Banner into naming him Praetor. Unfortunately, a stalemate grew between the three remaining Praetors. No Legate would be elected. As to the fate of Ērinnon, the sword that never surrenders, it has ended up in Daemon's capable hands until such a time a legate is named.
The Legion has, since, wandered Westeros, taking work primarily in the destabilized Reach and attempting to regrow their number and establish their reputation again. The Achissan refugees, serving as camp followers and laborers, are never far behind eagerly awaiting their chance to take back their home. But, among servants and officers, it's whispered that Daemon in particular has become more attached to the foreign land than the other two Praetor, and may seek to find his home here under the last Dragonlords - a rumor that could become reality should he become the next Legate.

Timeline

• 6 BC: Daemon is born to Daeron of Tyria, a blacksmith in Achissa.
• 8 AC: Daemon begins visiting the Legion's fort and demanding to train. his prowess catches the eye of trainers and Aelyx Tarreos
• 12 AC: Daemon formally joins the Tiger Banner and is tutored by then Praetor Aelyx.
• 17 AC: Daemon becomes a Sword of the Corps.
• 18 AC: Daemon is named Quaestor of the Legion after Aelyx becomes the Eighth Legate.
• 19 AC: Daemon's wife, Jaehaera, passes away while giving birth to their daughter, Mae.
• 20 AC: Aelyx Tarreos adopts Daemon into his family, allowing him to take his name.
• 23 AC: The Legion is nearly destroyed at the Battle at the Fields of Achissa. The Legion evacuates the city of Achissa and regroups in Westeros. Daemon becomes the Praetor of the Tiger Banner.
• 24 AC: The Legion takes work in the Reach fighting bandits and attempts to recoup its losses.
• 25 AC: The Legion makes camp outside King's Landing, hoping to take advantage of the upcoming festivities and gather recruits and patronage in equal amounts.

Archetypes

• Aemond Volaerys, Commander - The stern Praetor of the Elephant Banner and the senior most of the three Praetors, Aemond is aging but his mind is still sharp. In the twilight of his life he has vowed he will take back Achissa or die in the process - so long as he may be buried there with his men once it's said and done.
• Lucerys Montekar, Scholar - The current Quaestor of the Legion, Lucerys is a tight lipped and perpetually frowning young man who has been charged with managing logistics and arms of the Legion and, since the flight from Achissa, is charged with overseeing the refugees and managing their resources. He's become skilled with bookkeeping, at least.

Auxiliary Character

Name and House: Baelon the Butcher
Age: 40
Cultural Group: Valyrian
Appearance: Standing over six foot two, Baelon cuts a powerful figure. He is dark of hair with violet eyes and is said to have a beard. Few outside of the Legion's command structure have seen him without his brass mask depicting a bearded man, an artifact of forgotten times. It's resulted in a number of rumors about his appearance, with many believing him to be scarred or suggest he's suffering from grayscale, and more outlandish rumors being that there's more than one Baelon.
Trait: Unscrupulous
Skill(s): Tactician, 2H (e)
Talent(s): Language: Westerosi Common, Military Philosophy, Fishing
Negative Trait(s): N/A
Starting Title(s): Praetor of the Lost Legion, the Dragon Praetor
Starting Location: Opening Event

Biography

Baelon's youth is shrouded in mystery. Surfacing in the year of 5 AC, Baelon swiftly rose in the ranks of the Dragon Banner. Characterized by his strange mask and armor, he became known in his youth for his savage nature on the battlefield, cleaving men in two with his large sword. This translated to his tactics once he was promoted to an officer, where he touted the theories of Baelor the Brass Dragon, a Commander known for his brutal approach to conducting war.
Burning farms, severing supply lines, taking no quarter, and liberating slaves of the enemy combatants were fundamental to his approach to warfare in the Disputed Lands - to make it unprofitable and bloody for the enemies. His unscrupulous nature saw a meteoric rise and he would become a Praetor at only 25, the youngest to have successfully done so.
Unlike the other two Praetors, while he has sympathy toward the plight of the Achissans, he believes that the Legion is still an army first and foremost, and rejects the idea of settling. This is not entirely unpopular with the Legion's younger soldiers and officers, especially as the town of Achissa falls further and further into the past. It's possible that, should he become Legate that this will be the future of the Legion - an army with no state forever more.

Timeline

• 5 AC - Baelon joins the Legion at the age of 20.
• 8 AC - Baelon's prowess on the battlefield earns him a promotion - and a reputation
• 10 AC - Baelon becomes the Praetor of the Dragon Banner and implements his brutal strategies on the field.
• 23 AC - Baelon helps evacuate Achissa, joins his brothers in Westeros.
• 24 AC: The Legion takes work in the Reach fighting bandits and attempts to recoup its losses.
• 25 AC: The Legion makes camp outside King's Landing, hoping to take advantage of the upcoming festivities and gather recruits and patronage in equal amounts.

I have been on birth control on and off for about 5 years now since I was 15, the pill, the ring, then now the IUD. I felt “safe” on the IUD but my……..my was this horrible. The actual insertion was completely fine, no biggie… it was the after math. I am trying to lose a couple pounds because some of my clothing is tight and I don’t want to buy more. I’ve been eating a calorie deficit, AND jogging every morning plus lifting… my muscle mass won’t grow (I heard this is from the lack of testosterone due to mirena) and my weight has not changed an ounce… I actually gained. these last 5 months on the mirena have been nonstop cramping and bleeding. This is in no way bragging or arrogant but I know I have a very high pain threshold (and so do we all ladies and gents) and I’m at my wits end with the mirena, I tried ripping (I’m being dramatic) the mirena out but my cervix was wayyy to high and I could not grasp the strings so I finally got an appt. to get it out next week the 22nd… does anyone have some advice on how I can truly get myself healthy again? I originally got on birth control so avoid conceiving so I had no problems before. Are there any good supplements I can take?

I’m typing this on my phone because I’m too scared to use my laptop. I threw it into the back of my closet and covered it with clothes to try to dampen the high-pitched ringing sound it keeps emitting, but I can still faintly hear it from where I’m sitting in the living room. I tried shutting it down – it wouldn’t turn off. Doesn’t restart either. I closed the screen but that didn’t do anything. Tried to let the battery die and once it hit 0%, it stayed on as if it were fully charged. This thing can’t be turned off. I’m sure this all sounds silly and nobody is going to believe me, but there is something wrong with my laptop.
The easiest option would be to just get rid of it but I’m tight on cash and my job requires a laptop. I’m a marketing assistant at a small creative agency. It’s not the most glamorous job, I mostly fill out grids and review decks but it took me nearly a year to find this position. It’s completely remote which is a plus, the benefits are decent, and the pay is low but it’s something.
I was hired about a month ago. I hadn’t bought a laptop since 2017 and I wore out my last one so badly it basically refused to hold a charge and had to be plugged in all the time. I thought it made sense to get a new one – a new job, a fresh laptop, the beginning of a new career era. All the new Apple models are insanely overpriced, well above my price range. I could buy a new one in a few months after I save up a bit, but I needed something asap.
I browsed the internet and found a used electronics site. They refurbish phones and laptops and resell them at an affordable price – perfect. I found a 2022 Mac, placed the order, and it was delivered less than a day later. I actually think there were only three hours between purchasing the laptop and it showing up on my doorstep.
Excited to get it set up, I ripped open the box and sitting atop the neatly packaged laptop was a jet black business card with small white lettering in an odd font choice.
HANTER’s REFURBISHMENTS
Thank you for supporting small businesses. Enjoy your product.
609-3006
Ignoring the card, I threw it away and dug into the laptop. Beautifully dark brushed metal, no trace of fingerprints anywhere. It looked almost new save for a couple of scratches on the underside. I plugged it in, turned it on, made a new user profile, and clicked through the setup guide. The setup screen faded away and the preloaded wallpaper appeared. It didn’t really look like the typical Apple wallpapers that we’re all familiar with. Not Big Sur or the Sierra Nevada’s. It was a landscape photo of a farmhouse sitting in a field of tall yellowing grass, a single oak tree bending its awkward limbs over the decaying porch. There was some dark beauty to it. The sunset behind the farmhouse cast bands of golden light on the grass making it appear as if it were shimmering. Maybe it was taken on the East Coast? Some farm in New England? Didn’t really matter to me. I had a new laptop and it was working perfectly. I gave my ancient 2017 one a quick eulogy and tossed it.
– – –
- Good morning! Marie needs the TOOTHPASTE deck to go out by EOD for client review.
-- Morning! Got it, should be ready by afternoon. I’ll upload it to Monday and ping you when it’s up.
- Thanks!! :)
The first time I noticed something was the next day. I was sitting at my desk going over my bosses notes on a deck for some toothpaste commercial when I minimized my Chrome window and saw something I hadn’t noticed before. On the front porch of the farmhouse was a figure sitting in a rocking chair. I brought my face closer to the screen to try to make out any details but the farmhouse was so far in the distance, the scale of the figure was smaller than the cursor. It was so tiny I guess I just hadn’t noticed the day before. It’s not like anyone really stares at their computer wallpaper. The figure had a pale white face and was draped in some sort of black cloak but again it was so tiny I was basically making guesses. I shrugged it off and went back to Outlook to keep working – I had a deadline to meet.
My bedroom darkened as evening fell, the only source of light being the blue glow of my laptop. I uploaded the deck and sent a note back to Marie to let her know I was finished. I’d gotten so caught up in the day that I had forgotten about the figure in the rocking chair. I went back to the wallpaper and studied the landscape again before deciding to just change it to another preloaded one. Something less spooky. I chose a sunrise off a blue coastline.
I love watching Netflix in bed as I fall asleep, so that night I got comfortable and logged in on my laptop to put some Arrested Development on. I must’ve been exhausted because I fell asleep almost immediately. I always just end up sleeping with my laptop either next to me on my comforter or on my nightstand and let the episodes keep going until Netflix realizes I’m no longer watching. I guess that must've happened, but at around 3:00a I bolted awake to a screeching ringing tone coming from my laptop. It was ear piercingly loud, almost at an unbelievable volume for a laptop. Gone was Arrested Development, the laptop screen was static white like an old VHS tv, illuminating my otherwise pitch black bedroom in a cloudy light. I scrambled to turn the volume down, afraid my neighbors would come banging on my front door, but the sound stopped as quickly as it had begun. The screen went dark, the room went dark, the night got quiet.
I sat and stared bewildered in a drowsy daze at my laptop, the quiet hum of cicadas in the night outside, when suddenly it felt as if I were being watched…. I could barely see my own hand in front of me. The night seemed darker than usual…I slowly turned over my shoulder to the open door of my bedroom and in the darkness I could just make out the faint silhouette of a hunched figure standing right outside the doorway. Staring right at me. My blood chilled, I froze. I fumbled for the lamp on my nightstand and turned it on. Warm light extinguished the blackness. Nothing in the doorway…just the long stretch of hallway to the living room. It felt kind of similar to that movie that came out last year, Skinamarink. You sit in the darkness of your bedroom long enough that suddenly you start seeing things in the inky black. I thought it was nothing, but I swear I could make out the faintest trace of a pale white face grinning at me.
The next day I’m back to work as usual, tired from the night before. I clicked out of Chrome to my desktop to open up Adobe when I noticed the farmhouse wallpaper was back… It had changed by itself. It wasn’t exactly the one from yesterday though, no, the figure wasn’t in the rocking chair anymore. Instead, the figure had moved off the porch and was now standing in the field, closer to where the photographer would be. I could really make it out now. A pale white grinning face with distended lips, rotting teeth. That wasn’t the worst part though. Where its eyes should be were instead empty pockets of nothing. Just completely grotesque, definitely not a fucking preloaded wallpaper for a laptop. I changed it back to the beach and dug around in my trash can for the refurbishment card that came with the package. I wasn’t going to wait around to see what happened. Maybe one of the tech guys there was playing a trick and had programmed some jump scares into the computer or something? Maybe that’s something they do. Similar to jailbreaking an iPhone or pretending to control someone's computer remotely. I don’t know.
I found the card and dialed the number. It rang once before a young woman with a pleasant voice picked up.
- “Hi, Hanter’s Refurbishments! How may I help you?”
-- “Um hey I recently ordered a laptop. It came the other day and setup was normal but there’s something going on with the wallpaper. I changed it but then it changed back by itself and the photo –.”
- “One moment let me place you on a brief hold. Thank you!”
I hadn’t even finished speaking when she cut me off and put me on hold. Hold music began playing, some upbeat jingle shrill enough to drive anyone insane. I sat on hold for twenty minutes, then an hour. I ended the call and tried again, went through the same motions with the same woman only to continuously be placed on hold. Maybe they were really backed up with calls and other people experiencing issues with their orders. I called again and instead of the woman answering, an automated voice greeted me and sent me to hold immediately. Fuck it. I decided to wait it out. The fucking jingle was boring a hole into my head – the most annoyingly enthusiastic hold music. I could’ve strangled someone.
Suddenly the music stopped. Finally, someone was becoming available to help me. But instead of the call being redirected to a person, the automated voice returned with a simple
“Goodbye!”
And the call dropped.
I screamed, I literally screamed out of agony, out of pure fucking frustration.
I turned back to my laptop. The wallpaper changed itself again, back to the farmhouse and the pale faced thing. It moved in the field again. It was getting closer. Gaping holes for eyes, distended lips wet with saliva. It looked like it was laughing at my misery.
I left my laptop closed on my desk that night. No Netflix tonight, I needed to sleep and didn’t want the computer near me. I scrolled on TikTok for a bit before I dozed off…
The jingle woke me.
The fucking hold music. I picked up my phone in my fatigue thinking maybe Hanter’s was calling me back. It wasn’t coming from my phone. It was coming from my closed laptop.
I looked to the doorway, thinking the figure from the night before would be back, before getting out of bed and crossing to my laptop to shut it off. I opened the laptop and a wave of nausea crashed over me. The pale faced thing was even closer. The farmhouse was barely visible now, its face nearly filling the entire screen. Still grinning, still laughing. Bits of red stuff wedged in its teeth.
No matter how many times I held the power button, nothing was happening. It wasn’t shutting down, the jingle wasn’t stopping.
I fucking cracked. At that point I didn’t give a fuck if I needed the laptop for work. I picked it up and smashed it on the floor. Threw it again and again till the screen was shattered and keys were flying off. I just needed the jingle to stop and the pale face to be gone. I threw it down one last time with a final blow, satisfied with the damage I’d caused.
I picked the laptop up thinking it would be dead, but the screen was still glowing with light. Through the splintered glass of the screen I could see the farmhouse, the field of yellowing grass, the rocking chair, the oak tree – everything was there except for the pale faced thing. As if my havoc had caused it to flee the wallpaper.
The screen flickered off. The room went black. The cicadas outside filled the silence.
The hair on the back of my neck stood up.
It felt as if I were being watched.

19 weeks and doing cardio 2x/week with 3x weight training. I noticed last week after my 2 run days (endurance at 5.2m and hill sprints), my round ligaments were so tight and painful - likely from stabilizing muscles attached (according to my chiro). I stretch every day but any specific tips for fellow mamas?

I recently injured my upper back muscle (near left shoulder blade) while doing a plank. Injury took place last Wednesday night, and I didn’t get it checked out until the tender area swelled up on Friday morning.
The last couple of days sucked as anytime I tried sitting/standing straight, the area would tense up and throb (super painful contractions).
I’ve been advised to stop exercising for this week and take ibuprofen / ice the area as needed, but not being able to exercise sucks.

Several people have approached me that they might have endometriosis. Lifelong warrior so thought I would share my tips and tricks I put together for my friends and family to share with you :) Hope this helps someone!
ENDOMETRIOSIS SURGERY FACTS

• EXCISION SURGERY! I cannot stress this one enough. If you have an ablation, it will grow back and likely quick (but consult with your doctors on your case 100%). Excision is when they cut it out vs. it gets burned off. You will have a better success rate and slow rate of growth if they excise. Not all cases can be depending on location so again, please talk with your doctor about your situation. This is not the same for everyone.
• If your doctor cannot do excision surgery. Skip and move on to the next! Trust me, well worth the time to research and find the right doctor. You will thank me later for this one too haha.
• Finding a doctor is stuff. Also tough to find resources. If you cannot find an Endometriosis specialist in your area who does excision, you may need to look out of state, but one tip is exploring gynecological oncologists. Some will take benign cases, but not all so do your research. But it’s a good avenue for help in your area or you want insurance coverage.
• Nanny’s Nook is a good resource for online information regarding endometriosis: https://nancysnookendo.com/
• Dr Seckin’s book called The Doctor Will See You Now is also worth the read (https://www.amazon.com/Doctor-Will-See-You-Endometriosis/dp/1681621126)
• Definitely look into Egg Freezing before doing any permanent surgeries. The ovaries are more intact when there is a uterus in place, so I recommend immediately following any excisions with Egg Freezing if you can and if it’s part of your plans. I found my AMH levels low (1.2) but still retrieved 25 eggs, so never be discouraged if this is your future planning path.
• My Symptoms: I experience bloating, constipation, diarrhea, nausea and vomiting as the main culprits. I have irregular periods in regards to the number of days and if it comes or not (even with an IUD). Pelvic pain is probably the worst of all since it accompanies these symptoms and is present a majority of the time. Others may have different symptoms, and there’s many others I didn’t list but wanted to paint the picture of some I’ve experienced.

ENDOMETRIOSIS LAPAROSCOPIC SURGERY (WHAT TO EXPECT)
PRE-SURGERY

• List of questions to ask your doctor
• Insurance Information and ID
• Necessary forms or paperwork the doctor requires
• Make sure any medical records are sent that would be relevant

POST-OP PREP

• Eat smaller meals and simple foods days beforehand. If bowel prep is necessary, they also recommend taking a laxative in the days leading up to help prep.
• Pack a bag! Not every surgery is an overnight stay but even if you have a day-of surgery, back an overnight bag. Here’s the essentials:
  • Phone/Headphones/iPad/Kindle/Books
  • Device Chargers
  • Medications that you currently take
  • Glasses (do not wear contacts day of)
  • An extra pair of underwear
  • Sanitary Pads or Always Discreet
  • Comfy pants with light elastic band around the waist
  • Non wired bra
  • Slip on shoes (this is clutch! Recommend slides -https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0BL7LJKZW/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1).
  • Layers - Sweatshirt, Long Sleeved Shirt etc. - Hospitals are cold!
  • Toothbrush and tooth paste
  • Hairbrush
  • Face wipes, wash cloth, small towel and bar of soap.

SPACE PREP

1. Make sure your bed or couch is prepped. I stayed on the first level for the first 2ish days before feeling well enough to stay upstairs.
2. I used a pregnancy pillow on the bed to help me stay on my back while sleeping and help you feel cozy.
3. Stock the house with foods that will be light for your stomach. Think soups and casseroles! Saltine crackers, broths, rices etc..
4. If you have a raised bed, get a step stool to assist. It’s best to sit on the side of the bed and slowly lay your upper body down while bringing your knees up and over to your back. You will need to use arm strength the first couple of days to get you up and over since you can’t use the abdomen.
5. Water and Beverages stocked at all times. I have a reusable water bottle and avoid carbonated beverages for the time being. They fill you with gas for the procedure so it may make those symptoms worse.
6. Netflix, Kindle, Puzzles, Craft Projects…visits with friends. Whatever makes the time pass, set it up ahead of time so it’s handy.
7. Items to Keep on Hand: Baby Wipes, heating pads, pads/diapers, candles, essential oils, things that smell good haha

BOWEL PREP
This is dependent on the type of surgery you are having, but its good to have Gatorade, Magnesium Citrate (liquid), laxatives and enemas on hand just in case you need these.
ON SURGERY DAY
It’s important to follow the instructions on what to stop taking and/or eating/drinking prior to the surgery. Wear comfy clothes (wide elastic waistband) and slides with cozy socks. Double check your to go bag and breath.
AT THE HOSPITAL

1. Do your check-ins and keep your people with you as long as you want.
2. Make sure to read all the consent forms and ask any questions upfront. Make any advance directives clear.
3. Just try to remain calm as there’s a lot of down time while they do intake. It is about 2 hours of prep before they bring you in for the surgery itself.
4. They will ask you the same questions over and over again, that’s normal and trust me, you want to confirm it’s all being done properly.
5. If you need something for anxiety, they will be sure to give you something if you ask :)
6. You will be wearing a gown, socks, funky underwear and a cool hair net haha wear the gown backward so you keep warm and keep the butt covered.
7. Vitals will happen and the anesthesiologist will come and speak with you to make sure they prep the right meds beforehand. Bring up any concerns here with them!
8. You may be wheeled or walked into surgery. I’ve only ever walked in and laid on the table myself.
9. They will then put the IV in your arm and sometimes will put on a mask, they will then ask you to count backwards and before you know it, you will be awake again!

RECOVERY

• You will wake-up and feel groggy. Totally normal and you will be in a different room. They will likely say a lot really quick about your surgery. Before leaving ask for them to walk through it or see if you can speak with the doctor again when clear headed. RECOMMENDED!
• Your throat will be sore, that’s normal from the tube.
• Just relax and sleep it off if you want, the goal is to be relaxed and pee once before leaving.
• Before you go, eat and drink and pass smoke urine. They’ll provide you with the meds and you’ll be good to go.
• Make sure someone brings you home after :)
• Make sure you have a bag for vomit in the car.
• Bring a small pillow that can be strapped between the car belt and you for maximum comfort on the trip home.
• Pain Med Management: This one is important. I messed up night one and didn’t take it soon enough and was in too much pain so make sure you stick to the schedule the doctors give you to ensure you are comfortable.
• Keep Walking: It seems unnatural to have a surgery then walk, but the sooner you get up and keep moving around the house, the better. Just avoid heavy lifting and immense bending like movements. Stairs are also ok but also consult with your doctor!
• Gas Build Up: I did feel pain in my shoulders from the gas. Just keep moving! It will help get that out of the system but this pain is normal.
• Relax and let people take care of you! Don’t be too quick to recover.
• Keep an eye out for fever, increased vaginal bleeding, or feeling terrible.
• Keep all post op appointments and follow all post op instructions!

ENDOMETRIOSIS MAINTENANCE
Here’s the tips and tricks I found helpful for maintaining my pain and symptoms (GI and back pain related):

1. Pelvic Floor Therapy: This is important for keeping the muscles in your pelvis healthy and strong to maintain your structure and also help manage pain. Consult with your doctor on whether this is right for you.
2. Physical Therapy: I do PT for my back and pelvic floor since it’s all related. We focus on Myofascial Release Therapy to help break up the adhesions and give me more mobility. This helps with temporary pain relief (reduction in number), but that is always welcome :)
3. Acupuncture: I swear by Acupuncture. I don’t know what it does or why, but it works. It’s not a cure by any means, but it's great for relaxation, fertility, digestion, endometriosis, sleep, etc.. I can go on, but it’s not covered by insurance plans all the time so you will need to check and see what you’re able to take on.
4. Diet/Exercise:
   1. Eating high protein, lower fat/carbs (not none just low) helps your body, but overall learn your trigger foods! This will go a long way.
   2. Ginger, turmeric and fennel all help with bloating. I like to drink them in tea form when I’m feeling particularly hard stomached as it’s a good natural way to decrease the bloat. Peppermint also works for some, for me it irritates my GERD.
   3. Chamomile for relaxation
   4. Walking and movement are important. I cannot do anything high impact due to my sacroiliitis diagnosis, so I stick with light yoga and walking.
5. Alcohol/Other Substances: Don’t do it. Don’t touch it. You’ll thank me later on this point.
6. Sleep: Insomnia is a very real thing. I think I went 2 or 3 days at its worst one time and I cannot say enough how important trying to keep the same sleep schedule will benefit you. Waking and sleeping around the same time each day will still feel exhausting but at least you know your body is getting the most sleep it can get.
7. Medications/Supplements:
   1. Ibprofuern: This does NOT work for me. I have GERD and ulcers so I cannot take NSAIDs, but with that in mind, NSAIDs are supposedly the best pain medication over the counter to help you manage it.
   2. Pain Killers: These are AS NEEDED. I try to refrain and leave these for the TRULY bad days which I try to spread out. Not even worth it sometimes, because I don’t like how I feel and sometimes vomit after taking them. But they do help the pain!
   3. IUD/Orilissa: An IUD will NOT do anything. If you are diagnosed, ask your doctor about Orilissa or similar medicines instead of birth control methods. This will not stop the growth, just suppress it. There are side effects and it is only a short term solution.
   4. Linzess: This worked well for me for constipation symptoms when they got severe. Definitely recommend bringing this to your doctor if you’re truly suffering and they have not yet mentioned. I also resorted after trying magnesium citrate
   5. CBD Lotions/Salves: For my pelvis, I use Healing Rose CBD Salve in Orange and Lavender (https://www.thehealingroseco.com/product/orange-lavender-with-chamomile-herbal-salve-300mg-cbd/). For my back, I use a medical grade CBD lotion with menthol (https://cbdclinic.co/clinical-strength-series/). I also use a CBD massage oil from Healing Rose of the same scent when doing myofascial release at home. I also use Somedays Cramp Cream (https://somedays.com/products/period-cramp-cream?variant=42062153842853).
8. Heating Pads and Ice Pack: I have several varieties of heating pads. A cordless travel heating pad (https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09FPTJL4G?psc=1&ref=ppx_yo2ov_dt_b_product_details), a plug-in heating pad (lhttps://www.hsn.com/products/pure-enrichment-purerelief-xxl-heating-pad-with-9-cord/22188460) and stick on patches (https://www.thermacare.com/ - I use the back patches but reverse them to the front for better coverage). For hot flashes and night sweats (also if you need to relax while anxious) place an ice pack over your chest to help cool or calm down.
9. Self-Care: No joke, massages, facials, epsom salt baths, sound baths, reiki….anything that you find relaxing. Do it. Try it! They also make CBD bath bombs Ive been wanting to check out.
10. TENs Machine: I really want one, don’t have one, but people swear by them (the heating pad linked to MyObi has a TENs version - https://myobistore.com/en-us/collections/my-obi-belts/products/apollo-2-0).
11. Pregnancy Pillow: This one sounds so lame, but I bought a pregnancy pillow for my first endometriosis surgery since I’m a side sleeper to help keep me on my back during recovery. It changed by life! It helps my anxiety and makes me comfortable while sleeping. (https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B08YYVRXLM/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1)..
12. Heated Blankets/Cozy Blankets: Make yourself feel better with a cozy blanket. Do it, I dare you!
13. Endo To-Go Bag: Includes heating pads (travel, plug-in and patches), medications, balms/salves, essential oils and pads/protection items, change of clothes, wet wipes.
14. Sex Life: I’m single, I don’t have a partner to worry about communicating this issue with at this point, but go slow and communicate given eventually this will have to be a conversation. What I have learned is that if you do have sex and feel pain. Immediately stop! If you associate sex with pain mentally in that moment, it may cause fear in doing so down the line so it’s best to stop the moment you feel any pain occur.
15. Work Life: I work a demanding job so it was not working with the appointments and care I needed to manage pain. Always get FMLA from your doctor for intermittent leave based on your company's policies. This protects you from flare-ups and appointments. Short Term Disability is based on your situation with work so talk with them about any leave of absence for surgery and recovery and ensure the medical providers fill out the paperwork appropriately.
16. Friends/Family: This one is the worst. I have to cancel and make plans all the time based on how I feel. I like to line up a bunch of plans for three months out and do my best to make them happen at the beginning of the month when I know I’m most likely to feel good. I just say I’ll make things up to them when I get better and those who have stuck around have been truly amazing friends, but don’t be upset that some might be over the day in and out of what you’re going through. It’s hard for you and sometimes others and it’s just a part of the relationships we’re meant to experience in life. Most people (unless they have endometriosis) don’t understand it so it can feel isolating, but there’s others out there who know what you’re going through and are willing to chat. Just gotta find them and reach out on social media, online etc..
17. Journaling Symptoms: Guilty of not being the best at this always, but it's good to track your symptoms to see how they work and operate. It helps not only you plan for it, but also your doctors in how best to handle your care. Take photos of things that make sense to show your doctors! Discharge, bowels etc..can sometimes help diagnose or judge with the images.
18. Next to Bed Kit: Make sure your nightstand is stocked with the essentials for your bad days. Makes it easier to access the items you need when you just can’t get up and get it.
19. Squatty Potty: Another thing that is majorly life changing on constipation days! Get one or you can make your own :) Take a stack of books and stack them at equal heights on each side and put your feet up. The trick is making sure you’re in a squat with your knees high to your ears.
20. Clothing: Dressing for this is key but you still want to look cute! Joggers with a stretchy waist are my go to pants, but wide leg trousers with a stretchy waist help with ease of removal but also comfort and brings some style to the look.
21. Pads: I wear Always Discreet vs. pads. I find when you need to wear them full time for incontinence it just makes it more comfortable. They have different cuts and styles so definitely check them out!

and I just want to vent because it was traumatising. It was ironically chest pain.
I am 24F, healthy, don’t drink/don’t smoke/don’t do drugs/don’t even drink caffeine. I’m an international grad school student in the US. It’s been a particularly stressful semester of being physically and mentally overworked, and admittedly, forgetting to take care of myself with food, sleep, hydration and general rest.
Over a week ago, I started feeling hard beats in my chest. I’ve felt heart flutters here and there before but that’s normal. No, this persisted constantly for a week. On the third day, I became very worried and went to the ER to get it checked out. Tests came back clear, they dismissed it with “anxiety”.
A few days later, at the 1 week mark, my chest felt heavier, tighter. I don’t know exactly how to explain it but I had a ‘sense of impending doom’. I had the inexplicable urge to tell everyone about what I was feeling, didn’t matter how close or not I am to them. I wanted to be around people all day, I didn’t want to be alone. I was restless. I tried walking and deep breathing the ‘anxiety’ off like I was told. Nothing was relieving this tightness and discomfort.
In the evening, while sitting on campus with a friend, I feel it. A sharp shooting pain in my heart, and a numbness radiating across my chest. I thought it was a heart attack. I thought I was gonna die of a heart attack at 24 - my family across the world from me. I tried lying down on a couch, didn’t help, we called 911. Paramedics arrived, did an EKG, everything was fine. Took me to hospital, parked in bay, came back saying wait time was 6+ hours. Wtf do you mean 6+ hours? I have agonising chest pain?! My friend had to come pick us up from the ambulance and find another hospital instead. Waited 5 hours in that waiting room, all the while thinking I was dying. I thought of my family. I thought of how far away they were and how they would be if anything happened to me and I cried. That was the worst moment of my life.
They finally took me in, gave me a bed, I waited 4 more hours. The pain started feeling like the times I pulled a muscle but 5x worse because it was so close to my heart. I tried telling them it feels like inflammation, they would ignore me, dismiss me. After hours in agony, I beg them for a painkiller, they have to ask the doctor, they come back an hour later with a pill. I take the pill, it doesn’t work after an hour, I say so, they treat me like I’m lying or being dramatic. I overhear them in the hallway talking about sending me home. Soon the doctor walks in and says “I finally have an answer. It’s costochondritis.” Inflammation of the rib cartilage right next to the heart. A very painful case of it. It was never “anxiety”. It wasn’t “in my head”.
I’m so grateful because that was the best outcome for the pain I was feeling. Ultimately harmless, treatable, and I’m feeling better after 4 days.
But can I just say - fuck the US healthcare system, and fuck costochondritis.