Is this SA or kinky play? I have an hard time telling
These two people were teens between 17/19 years old. This is about a guy i am talking to and his ex, he told me he never told anyone this.
She was more sexually dominant and for some reason that day she tied him up, they seemed both into pegging. Apparently she probably introduced it first but i am not sure…idk if he said yes because she was into it or to make her happy
I asked if he gave consent before to roleplay something like that or if it felt like assault, use of safewords etc
He said both, he said no at some point, began thrashing around, but she didn’t and continued penetration.
He got awkward fast if i asked there was some way to stop it or if it was a power play/femdom thing they both liked and agreed to.
He said he was meant for that and enjoyed it a lot, he is very submissive. I think he said no and stop out loud but didn’t tell her to stop, I don’t want this, he denied that he never said I don’t want this.
To me this sounds like assault, he didn’t give me any details. I didn’t want to push him.
Gender reverse everyone would say it is rape/assault and I don’t think it was cnc stuff.
I am…disturbed. He says he feels worthless as a man, his size, he has ED issues and very specific kinks like rape kinks/dominance, cuckold, sph etc or mommy/incest stuff.

I(‘M23’) just recently found out my gf(‘F21’) was texting this guy again. We have been dating for almost 2 years and have had our fair share or issues, fights, and couple hourly breakups, but at the same time have had alot of good. We’ve both meet each others parents and grandparents, both been on 7 vacations together and have spent a considerable amount of time together. Also, all information has been told to me and I didn’t snoop to find anything out. I did search for his Facebook after but found it to be unsearchable. I found out because she had to block him after he sent a dick picture. Some background, this started when we broke up for a few hours before Christmas. She had one foot out in my opinion and she has her own personal issues with me. We argued over text and phone after I left and I said some things I regret and loom on her mind currently. She then got on Tinder and flaunted her likes to me before she deleted it by the end of the night after telling me men are still the same. Fast forward to January 7th when she gets a message on Facebook from some guy who followed her Tinder to her Facebook. They chatted intermittently over the course of the next 4 months. She claims she was mean and shutting down all his attempts and telling him all about me, but from the brief messages I saw he was constantly hinting towards his openness towards her. At one point he said something along the lines of I don’t normally date women under 25 which stood out to me. We argued about this because she told me about two weeks ago. I saw her shutting him down and declined his number which is a positive but at the same time I feel like it should’ve never happened. She blamed me for putting her on tinder in the first place and also said she forgot how he found her page. I set boundaries about how I would like she ended conversations between guys who wanted to have s relationship or have sex with her in the future including him because it isn’t appropriate in a relationship. She agreed and we moved on. Fast forward to last night which is about two weeks later and we are both doing our own overnight work. Shes nannying and im dog sitting. She tells me about blocking him and how I should be glad and all and what he did. I was more stuck on how she was texting him about how her weekend was and stuff before it even got to this. She claims she forgot how they met and about our conversation of not texting him anymore. She has then since called me a bitch, says she can text who she wants shes a grown woman and even declared me a drama queen. I since said I wasn’t coming over like we intended and she broke up with me because I keep bringing up the sane two points and she doesn’t care. I should just move on. This situation bothers me because we had s similar incident within our first three months of dating. Some guy found her reddit post from before I didn’t know about and messaged her on instagram. The post was before but not the texts. He was hitting her up looking to hang out and I told her shut it down because she told me while I was driving. Two weeks later we played a get to know eachother card game and showed our phones to the other. I recognized his profile and when we read them she had been texting him more until he claimed he didn’t want a date just to come over. She shut it down but we both knew it was unacceptable behavior. I was going to leave then but she promised to not and claimed she had one foot out because of how new it was and that she’s all in now. I really love her and our memories but mannn… idk if I can get over this happening again essentially. She really wanted to see me tn before we broke up and we haven’t text since. Idk if an apology would even suffice if we do talk again or would I want someone back after taking a break to be single if we take time. Im not sure what im looking for but I just want to talk about it with someone who’s not my family.

Race Information

• Name: Bend Half / Eugene Half
• Date: April 14 / April 28th 2024
• Distance: 13.1 miles
• Location: Oregon
• Time: 1:32. / 1:31:30.

Bend was at 3.5k elevation with ~700 up/down
Eugene is at sea level with ~500 up/down
TL;DR I got a race that felt very good on the first attempt, last one felt way more meh, but overall OK... would do again, but not soon...

Goals

Goal	Description	Completed?
A	Have a well executed half	YES!
B	Sub 1:30	No
C	Recover well enough to race second faster	Yes
D	Sub 7 min/mile	Yes

Splits

Bend
Ran entirely by feel, no pacer. I checked my paces occasionally to stay in a predefined zone (6:50 to 7:10)
Felt like pretty even splits, end was more down hill so I did have a nice positive split, GAP says I slowed down but it felt good.
Eugene

• First 7 miles were consistent 6:52
• 9-10 were around 7:05
• 11 - 13.1 were 7:15 (slowest ~7:30), I was battling side pain and having a BPM through the roof for too long

Training

I heard on a guest on a podcast last year (probably strength running) say offhand that “you can't do back to back marathons but you can do back to back halves,” and I was... intrigued.
Last year I was still in my early "new runners glow" of having big PR's at the start of the year and ever bigger dreams. Some too-high expectations, some disappointments. I figured back to back halves would give me a chance to dream to big on the first and level set for even splits on the second based on the information. I imagined my strategy could change (and it did) but at least I’d gain some useful training and recovery info about myself.
I really like writing out my own training plans, so I've do my own for 18 months. I plan to read Pfitz book and do the 70/18 plan as I imagine it will get me a lot further than my own plans… but I like the process, it hasn’t burnt me out or injured me, so I’m keeping with it until I actually read that book.
I started the year on a 6 week "lose weight and run 5k's" block and hit sub 20 min 5k which had been a long time goal. It felt good! After maintaining ~48mpw during that I switched to half training.
During that time I read Jack Daniel's training book and realized hitting intervals/repetitions/tempos would be very good and I shoulda done them next year. I only had 9 weeks after that block so my lead up training plan was:

• Weeks 1-5 EZ / Tempo+MLR / Rep+ML EZ /EZ /Long/ EZ
• Weeks 5-6 I held on to 60 mpw (my highest ever mileage, topping at 63) and introduced intervals. I felt back to back MLR was crazy as I wasn't hitting training paces (and I did MLR during tempo and repetitions!) so I did one MLR between two quality days and left their mileage low.
• Weeks 7-9 I did a 10k tune up (42min) and taper from 60 to 40 mpw

I started doing marathon pace blocks in my long runs at the get go. Long runs were from 14-16 miles with 1 - 3 miles of marathon pace. It felt challenging but good! Good mental training for the end of a race. I did them back to back, but I think going forward I’ll just do them every other week.
It was my first 60mpw and I felt great holding on to it for 4 weeks. Once I stopped that ill-advised back to back training/MLR the weeks felt manageable.
I also kept up weight training 2-3 times a week with usually two leg days a week hitting all the major stuff.
No injuries, my sleep did start getting kinda crappy for no obvious reason somewhere in there I took for overtraining maybe, but taper was soon thereafter so it was OK.

Pre-race Bend

Taper for Bend felt good. Small niggles and pains came up out of nowhere but I kinda know at this point to ignore them as they amount to nothing. I
Spent few days before in a nice relaxing cabin out in the woods. Day of felt magical, expectations were perfect based on my tune up.
I decided to try caffeine pills and Tylenol for this race so I did a 2 week caffeine fast. Massive head ache first couple days as I was thoroughly addictive, slow building to totally fine after 5 days.

Race Bend

Took 400mg caffeine pills 1 hour before the race with Tylenol. 20 minutes later I was hyper and READY to race. Felt kinda child-ish with the hyperactivity.
Race itself felt perfectly executed. My tune up let me know sub 1:30 was a bit crazy and my former PR was 1:37. I went by feel pretty much the whole race as there were no pacers for my speed and the field was pretty empty compared to a larger city.
Lots of ups and downs, but I once again just felt it out and rode it out. I didn't feel mentally tired until mile 7, but it was OK! Physical and mental exhaustion really set in around mile 11 but I felt capable of hammering on, passing some folks.
Looking at the GAP strava splits in hindsight, the end was downhill so my pace did get “slower” a bit miles 10-13 but not too much.
I didn't know my time until I saw the 1:31:XX on the clock so I had enough for a little sprint to hit just under 1:32 by chip time. I felt ecstatic!

Post-race Bend

I was SORE for a week. I knew I had to recover in 2 weeks for Eugene so I was very careful the first week, but did lots of short easy runs. Started doing light strength training day 4 and it felt great.
This coulda been very silly because I did legs every other day for 4 days, up until 3 days out from Eugene. I was too compulsive in wanting to work out something… next time I feel I will do better exactly laying out every workout (and food) ahead of time with calendar reminders before a race so I don’t just get loopy and over do something.
I decided to tell myself I could walk off the course in Eugene if something felt off, and that it was fine not racing both. This was more out of a way of acceptance and general not wanting to hurt myself/burn out than any specific cause.
I did the math and though I could get under 1:30 for Eugene as:

• It had a easier course (less/up down)
• It was sea level
• It had a pacer I could use for my goal

Pre-race Eugene

I felt recovered after a week, so I did exactly the same thing as my Bend taper for Eugene since it felt good. 10 min Tempo / easy run / 2 repetitions and interval/ easy run/ easy run/ easy run strides / RACE
Everything felt pretty dang good, my heart rate was acting normal, legs felt good. Some runs were meh but I had a great run in my race shoes, Saucony Endorphin Pro 4 (both races) which was easy, kinda fast, and smooth with low heart rate.
Day before race something seemed up. I slept in by a couple hours and had a nap, and felt I could sleep more. Like, lots of rest is good, but I felt down right sleepy… I assumed it was all the carbs but in hindsight I’m less sure.

Race Eugene

Took caffeine pills 1 hour before the race and 40 minutes out I felt that nice familiar high. Walking around Eugene and jogging a bit I was psyched. As I anticipated Eugene was WAY bigger. I found my 1:30 pacer as I lined up and was kinda nervous I couldn’t get close.
First 6 miles felt… OK. I kept the pacer in sight but Jesus it was a crowded field. I am very used to running along and I never understood the “make a move” aspect of a race until now. Trying to get in front of folks, or stay at a good pace for yourself, while surrounded by dozens of people in close proximity is NOT IDEAL. I imagine it’s a skill for me to learn but I liked the small town comparison of Bend. Running my own race felt good.
Bad stuff:

• My heart rate was higher than Bend in those 6 miles. I was running 10 seconds/mile faster… I figured it would pan out…
• Going by Strava my heart rate was anaerobic for 12 minutes and threshold for 50 minutes... like all in the same chunk after the start of the race...
• My stomach started cramping lightly (return of my marathon!) I’m pretty sure refined sugar I normally eschew kinda tripped me up? I didn’t make my Marathon mistake of downing dandy marshmallows before the race but I had a couple sweet scones Saturday to up the carbs. Or it was just an unfunny fluke.

Miles 7 - 8 I kept up the pace, felt pain encroaching though. It was a full body sore, I tried to keep a smooth stride that helped a bit but I didn’t have the same energy as Bend. Checking my heart rate it had been like 10bmp above my supposed lactacte threshold for almost 40 minutes at this point.
Miles 9 - 13 were a pain fest getting slower, this is where I lost my time to hit 1:30. I wasn’t totally thinking about realizing my heart was through the roof from the beginning I shoulda realize early sticking with 1:30 group wasn’t going to pan out. I’m unsure if I even could stick to even splits with the crowd.

Post-race Eugene

Verge of cramps, stiffness. Typical stuff. After some meet and greet I went back and felt possibly the worst I’ve ever felt during a race. Fun experience, glad I could race both.

Post-races

The magic was there for Bend… if I just trained two weeks more and only raced Eugene would I have hit sub 1:30 I wanted? Maybe, or maybe I’ll find out I’m sick and Bend was the best I’d get this cycle. Maybe I was only mostly recovered from Bend and 2 weeks wasn’t enough.
Lots of what ifs, but like, comparatively far less than if I only had one race. A good race or a bad race is such a crapshoot. I do wish the easier course was first so I could have a bigger PR, but like… Bend’s hills and tranquility were possibly more to my strengths, and maybe that elevation wasn’t something that would effect me personally as much. I don’t think sucking in Oxygen is ever the weak link in my chain?
I don’t think I’ll do double halves soon but I may consider have a backup race paid for 1-2 weeks out. It seems a bit impossible to know in the moment though if it will be useful, race day is such a gamble!
Overall I’m happy I went for it in Eugene, happy I did, found I can recover in time for a race, maybe three weeks would be better but god damn I’m excited to train again and a bit sick of a month of tapering, recovery, and now another stretch of recovery.
Made with a new race report generator created by herumph.

Hey Folks,
I have a friend who I debate theology with constantly because he and I are on the same level with conversation. He and I have two completely separate world views and opinions on religion. He shared something with me that I wanted to help ease but I was taken back by his statement.
He was raised in the Middle East and his family are devout Muslim people. They’re all great people but he himself has decided to be atheist because he has friends who are Christian, Jewish, Muslim, and Atheist. We spoke today for a few hours about coming to Church with me because I’ve been able to make Christ make logical sense to him.
He told me that if he were to do that it would throw him into a pit of dispair because in his mind he is condemning his father and grandfather to damnation and he would rather be able to rationalize that I would be in my heaven and that his father and grandfather would be in theirs and that if either way he is condemned it’s a choice he would be willing to make instead of having to live with the knowledge his family will be damned. Is there a way for me to comfort him in this train of thought?

This is kind of long and ramblely, but I wanted to be as truthful as possible and give as much context as possible. Please give it a read through and let me know your thoughts!

Race Information

* **Name:** Jim Thorpe Marathon
* **Date:** April 28, 2024
* **Distance:** 26.2 miles
* **Location:** Jim Thorpe, PA
* **Website:** https://runjimthorpe.com/
* **Strava:** https://www.strava.com/activities/11284682370
* **Time:** 3:32:09

Goals

Goal Description Completed?
-------------------------------
A around 3:20 *No*
B sub 3:25 *No*
C PR *No*

Splits

Mile Time
------------
1 7:44
2 7:19
3 7:44
4 7:18
5 7:49
6 7:42
7 7:42
8 7:50
9 7:51
10 7:54
11 7:49
12 7:45
13 7:58
14 7:48
15 7:37
16 7:49
17 7:58
18 7:57
19 8:07
20 8:24
21 8:06
22 8:07
23 8:17
24 9:03
25 9:28
26 9:41

Training

For context, I am early 20s F who has been running consistently for almost two year now, though I have been generally physically active all my life.
I got into running thinking I'd do a half, and then I enjoyed running a bit too much and ended up training enough to run a marathon, so I did my first marathon (Philly 2022, ~mid Nov) after starting May 2022. My training plan for this marathon was just run a lot, and run everything slow. In 2023, I trained for Philly again following the Pfitzinger 18 weeks/up to 55mi plan (did speed workouts for the first time!) and ran 3:27:02 with a super pro friend pacing me. I was pretty excited by this race and figured I'd have a good chance of being able to run Boston 2025 if I kept up the momentum and trained for a spring marathon. This led me to sign up for Jim Thorpe, which I thought that being a downhill course would definitely let me run within 3:25:00 and qualify for Boston 2025.
I followed the same Pfitzinger plan as before, with a few modifications. I trained for a goal marathon time of 3:20:00, thinking that I would have 5min leeway during the race if things went wrong. I tried to run the recovery runs slower, especially as I got closer to the race because in the previous cycle I was running these around 8:45min/mi, which isn't really "fast" but definitely isn't recovery. I also paid a lot closer attention to my marathon pace runs. In the previous training cycle, for a workout like 14mi marathon pace with 18mi total, I'd run 2mi warmup, 14mi at marathon pace with breaks in between to eat gels (definitely cheating), and 2mi cooldown. I changed to 4mi warmup into 14mi at marathon pace with no breaks. This was definitely a really rough adjustment at first and I would often be under my desired pace towards the beginning of the plan, but I got better towards the end. Finally, I had the general goal of "stick with my lactate threshold runs" because those runs were by far the hardest for me and were the workouts I was mostly likely to not hit pace on.
Here were my goal paces for the run types: * Easy: ~9:30min/mi * General Aerobic (~8-12mi runs): ~8:45-9:00min/mi * Long Runs (14mi+): ~9:00min/mi, held steady throughout * Marathon Pace: ~7:40min/mi * Lactate Threshold (4mi - 7mi): ~7:15min/mi * VO2 Max (speed workout kinda stuff): ~6:40min/mi
The beginning 4 weeks felt a lot harder than I expected. I took a month "off" (running ~30-40mi/week) which I thought would keep me in decent shape, but all of those runs were generally slow (~9:30min/mi) and for fun. Workouts were really a slap in the face starting the training plan again. However, coming into the middle of the training plan I really felt pretty good. I struggled a lot with exhaustion during the last training plan like falling asleep in class, but I felt like my recovery was faster this time. The only workout I still struggled with were the lactate threshold workouts. I'm fine for the first 3mi, but after that my breathing is so hard and my legs feel toasted and it's really hard to keep pace. At some point I just started looking at heartrate instead of pace and trying to keep a hard effort since keeping pace was so demoralizing. I settled for about 180bpm.
With five weeks to go, I ran a beautiful 18mi with 14mi at marathon pace. Tried a beefy caffeine gel for the first time (SiS Beta Fuel + Nootropics, 200mg of caffeine) and felt like I was flying. I actually easily hit my marathon pace and felt confident about my race. Then, the great calamity. I rested for one day, and then ran 11mi the next day with friends... after that my left shin/calf hurt while walking. I ended up having to skip the next two long runs and cut back on mileage. This hurt so much after such a good marathon pace run because it felt like my pace dreams were slipping away.
My shin/calf managed to get well enough to run a 20mi three weeks before the race with only some pain. I replaced the 16mi Sunday long run with the 20mi because I felt like I needed a long run as a mental confidence check and prove to myself that I can still run longer distances, and I figured because it was only 4mi more than scheduled it shouldn't hurt my taper. With the two week taper after that long run, my shin/calf felt fine enough to race in.
To give people a better idea of my mileage while injured: * 6 weeks to go: 52mi (week I ran the marathon pace run) * 5 weeks to go: 29mi * 4 weeks to go: 24mi * 3 weeks to go: 39mi (skipped 1.5 runs to make sure I could push out the 20mi) * 2 weeks to go: 31mi (back to following the plan as normal at this point) * last week: 48mi (includes the marathon)
And some other random details: * I train using the gels I use while racing, and I take the gels at the same interval (so in theory my stomach should be very used to the gels) * I run with a water bottle/waist belt thing and drink whenever I want to (maybe only drinking at "water station miles" would be better? Or learn to run using less water?) * I'm in a running club and I run races with them during the training season for funsies. This spring, I ran a half at marathon pace, and set a 10K PR. I also ran 5Ks but didn't try to PR because either a. heavy training week or b. injured later.

Pre-race

At this point, I had no clue what I'd be able to run, but I felt like I still has a good chance of at least getting a PR. My plan was to start out at 7:40, on track for 3:20:00, and have a slower second half if needed but hopefully still keeping around the same pace. Perhaps too optimistic looking back?
Last race in Philly I wasted 2min cause my stomach was so bad I had to go to the bathroom twice in the middle, and my stomach was cramping for a good 2/3 of the race too, before and after the bathroom breaks. The stomach cramps during Philly made my legs feel really weak which I think made me go slower than I otherwise could have. Because of this, I focused on eating healthy the week before (diet was generally healthy during training too, but was especially careful the week before). I also slept a full 8 hours every night the week before the race. The day before the race, I ate pretty much only simple carbs (bagels, pasta, dinner roll) and avoided fibers/fat to minimizing the chance of needing to use the bathroom during the race.
Unfortunately, the weather was not super great. The week before was all 50F highs, but for the day of the race the temperature spiked to an 80Fe high, and the humidity was >90% with a 40 some degree dew point. Most of the race should still be in the 50Fs, but the last stretch would be in the 60Fs. I trained in pretty frigid dry winter conditions, so I was worried about being able to handle the heat, and whether I'd be thirsty/cramping at the end. I decided to use 5 SiS electrolyte gels, one SiS caffeine gel that was so good during training, and drink at every water station (roughly every 2-3mi).
Another thing is that because Jim Thorpe is in a gorge, the GPS was going to be really bad according to the race organizers. Therefore, my plan was to manually lap every mile with the Race Screen on Garmin, and try to find some people going for the same time at the beginning of the race to run with. I depended so much on seeing my current pace during my training runs that this part made me the most nervous.
I had a 0.78mi warmup (way too little in hindsight, but I was worried about adding unnecessary mileage for my shin/calf to deal with), and lined up at the starting line.

Race

The first 4 miles saw some crazy pacing issues with me. I genuinely had no clue how fast I was running until I hit the mile markers and lapped my watch. My watch was telling me my current pace was 8:30min/mi ish when I ran those two miles at 7:20min/mi... not a great confidence booster at the start, but I figured I would run a bit slower to let my pace even out.
Over the next few miles, I tried to problem solve keep my pace even by looking at my heart rate instead of my pace. Outside of my lactate threshold runs I pretty much never checked my watched heartrate during my run, and I didn't know what my marathon pace heartrate was to be honest, but I tried to keep it around 170bpm. Was this reasonable for my age? I had no clue. It felt like a reasonably hard effort effort at the time, where it would be challenging to keep up but not be so hard that I would hit the wall later. As the miles went on it became so much harder to maintain that heart rate, and my pace was slower for the same heartrate, so I opted for a pacing strategy based on effort, where I tried to feel like I was pushing myself but hopefully not too hard, and try to run faster if the lap pace for that mile was slow.
At mile 6, I could feel my stomach start to cramp, an added factor that made it even harder to keep pace. I also missed picking up water at one of the stations by whiffing the cup (in these circumstances, should I go back for water?). At mile 12 I tried going to the bathroom hoping that it might help, but I was empty. I think this meant my diet choices worked, but something else was just making my stomach cramp up pretty badly.
By mile 12 I was sure that 3:20:00 was completely unrealistic, but I was still hoping for sub 3:25:00. I had my caffeine gel around this time too, and while it didn't feel as good as during training it helped me feel more focused. I tried to make back some time, but it was really hard to devote all of my concentration for long enough periods to break out of the 7:50ish pace. My stomach was still cramping in the background, which I did my best to ignore, and I started feeling pretty nauseous when I went fast so I tried to run right at the edge of a bit of nausea, but not too much nausea. Choking down gels became harder. And by mile 18, I was so thirsty despite drinking water from every station that I was just looking forward to the next station.
By 20mi, my watch said I still had a chance of PRing, so I tried to up my pace for the next two miles. Everyone was so spread out by this point in the race that it felt like I was running alone, and the race course was now exposed to the sun. I was getting even thirstier and my stomach was cramping hard enough I thought I might shit myself (despite having no shit, as evidenced earlier), and my legs were starting to hurt but I still wanted to PR.
By mile 23, I felt like I hit the wall. I am sure the dehydration, heat, my whole digestive system wanting out from my body, blah blah blah contributed to that, but it was also a mental collapse. My watch told me that my finishing time would be slower my PR, and in that time while I was hurting and running alone I just couldn't convince myself that I could run fast enough to still PR. My pace fell off a cliff and I dragged myself across the finish line in a time way slower than what I envisioned in my worst case scenario.

Post-race

So, feeling pretty ashamed about giving up at the end. Boston 2025 is no longer possible, but I am determined to be there at Boston 2026. Here are my thoughts/questions on things to do next and improve. Feel free to be brutally honest with feedback:
* Dealing with the mental aspect: As soon as I felt like I wouldn't have a chance of hitting my last goal it was hard to find a reason to continue running fast. I think it's something I struggled with during my training too specifically with the lactate threshold runs, where when I fall off my goal pace for the workout I am always tempted to just fold. That's why I ended up using the heartrate method to continue giving myself a goal to strive towards, but even then there were two lactate thresholds that I caved in for. If I believe that I have a chance of hitting my goals though, I give it everything I have. I guess my question is that is there a way to train the "give everything" mindset even when I think I've failed to hit your goals? Any ways to practice convincing myself there's still a chance? Any other runs/workouts I can adapt to give me more chances to practice achieving this goal? I'm thinking I could make my long runs into progressions, but I'm not sure if that would be too exhausting for recovery purposes (and I love doing my slow long runs :( ). I know the solution to the mental aspect is partially "just try harder", but that hasn't been working well so far so I'm wondering if there's a specific way to improve at "trying harder".
* Another part for the mental aspect: I wanted to run a faster pace than I was running throughout the whole marathon, even before my mental completely gave in. Part of me failing to do so was me being unsure about whether going to hard would set me up for failure later in the race, and part of it was just that it was so hard to maintain a faster pace, taking way more sustained mental effort than I had put in for long runs. I think I am not used to concentrating too hard when running, which is fine for when I am feeling good but clearly a skill I need to build for days where I am not feeling good like in this race. How do I train this too?
* Side tangent, though perhaps relevant: Interestingly, I don't have this issue for the 5x800 style runs, maybe because the distance is so short that the pain seems temporary and its easy to mentally tell myself that the goal holds for the next 800 even if I run one too slowly. But this sectioning doesn't happen as well for long hard efforts because floating in the back of my head I know that even if I finish a chunk I have to do it again and again without a break.
* How do I pace? I didn't appreciate how much of a boon it was to have my own personal pacer during Philly. My friend was super experienced and tried to keep an even effort throughout. I felt like I didn't need to think about what the optimal amount of effort to put in was, I simply turned off my brain and followed. I didn't even look at my watch the whole race, and in the end when I was tired and dying he kept me motivated by reminding me of my goals and giving me encouragement. But obviously, I need to learn how to pace by myself.
* So what is the optimal heartrate range when running a marathon? Some sources online say 90% of max heart rate, which would be around 180bpm for me. However seeing as how I struggled to keep up that effort for 6mi during a lactate threshold run, I am sure I can't keep up that effort for a marathon. I looked back at that one marathon pace run and my heartrate was ~170bpm. I have no heartrate data for Philly because I had to borrow someone else's watch, their their heartrate sensor was really off. What might be a reasonable range for me, and how could I train it up more effectively? Probably more lactate threshold runs I guess, but maybe there's a better workout to ease into those since I am so used to running slow? In addition, how do I account for drift where my heartrate speeds up anyways throughout the race, regardless of my pace?
* Is pacing by effort even valid? My marathon pace run before I got injured felt relatively easy, which is why I really tried to rein in my effort throughout the race because I didn't think it should feel that hard. Even compared to the last marathon, it felt a lot harder earlier on. And in training, I have good days and really bad days where an easy pace feels hard. So for you all, if you aren't feeling well during a race, do you just ignore the relative effort you have to put in and go full steam for your desired time? Is it smarter to try to race by effort and try to get the best time for the conditions that day? I think I was wavering between these two ideas for most of the race.
* Sticking with a group? I saw this advice online, and I tried running with people at the beginning, but me trying to stay in certain groups led to some of the crazier pacing in the first four miles. Is there something I'm missing on how to select groups to follow?
* The stomach: I tried so hard to fix this since my last race. I really think my stomach cramps this time are not due to diet problems/literally having shit. I've found that before my long runs if I eat a healthy balanced diet and avoid fiber the day before I am fine. Maybe my stomach cramps from too much exertion while running? Perhaps a longer warmup would have been better to get used to the pace? I wore my running belt to carry my gels, but maybe the slight up down bouncing movement induced bowel movements in my stomach (although the belt/stomach issues in generally were nonexistent during my marathon pace run before injury). I've read about imodium on this sub, does that work by making the poop more solid or by causing the muscles to move less? I think this is a huge factor that has held me back in my past two races, and any and all advice would be appreciated.
* Hydration: I don't think I mentioned this before, but I was also really thirsty in the last 6 miles of Philly 2023. This time I drank way more, but also felt so much worse possibly because not used to the heat/humidity anymore. Would it be worth it to just carry a water bottle with me or is that too much time loss? Should I full on stop at the hydration stations and drink a lot? Issues with that is a. severe time loss, and b. chugging water tends to give me side stitches when I start running after. I usually sip as needed from a water bottle while training, is it a viable strategy to start limiting my water intake during runs to match race conditions better or would that just be needlessly dehydrating myself?
* Thoughts on continuing to use the Pfizgerald 18 week/55mi max plan? I really do not want to move up to a higher mileage plan because of how much extra time it would be; balancing training on top of college, extracurriculars, and friends is already a tall order. Maybe there is another plan floating out there that would be specific to areas I need to improve on?
* Shoes? I used the Adidas Ultraboost because they were my workout shoes while training, even though they were a bit heavy. For my last marathon, I wore the Nike Vaporfly 2, but with online ordering I got a size too small and two of my toenails completely fell off, which is why I didn't want to wear them for this race. I didn't buy new shoes for this race cause the Vaporflys were already so expensive, and I didn't want to spend more when my workout shoes are technically already a "fast" shoe. I generally feel pretty fast in the Ultraboosts, so I didn't think having Vaporflys for the race would make that much of a difference (at least for a $260 difference). Also, my form isn't super good and I do a more midfoot/heel strike, so it felt like I was wasting the carbon fiber plate but not maximally activating it. I guess my question is, do they actually make that much of a difference even for someone with my running form?
* Did my injury really warrant such a decrease in performance? I knew that this marathon was going to hurt more than my pre injury marathon pace run, but it genuinely was so much harder than I expected. I thought I'd still be okay because my injury seemed relatively minor compared to how bad it could be, seeing as how I was still able to push out some short runs without pain even during the weeks where I was injured. Also now, about 8 hours after finishing, I don't think my legs hurt as much as they did after Philly 2023, so I think my legs are relatively fit. I don't know how much of my performance today was due to a mental failure and the conditions with the weathemy body versus how much was due to a genuine loss in fitness. I would love to hear people's thoughts on this. Also, if I get injured in the future, how can I recalibrate my goals?
* Finally, if I train for 18 weeks, I get a small off season period until late July. How do I utilize this the most effectively? Do I continue running a lot after a short break? Should I do workouts during the off season so I can associate them with fun (like my long runs) instead of painful tests of my fitness? Is it worth cross training and what would I do to cross train, considering the fact that I don't know how to ride a bike and I don't have access to a pool/gym?
If you've made it this far, thank you so much for reading! Let me know if you have any additional questions or if there's additional info I can give. This race wasn't my best but I am determined to do well on my next one!
TL;DR:
Trying to qualify for the Boston marathon, previous time 3:27:02 and aiming for at least sub 3:25:00 with this marathon. Training was solid up until a minor injury 5 weeks before the race that made me cut back some mileage. During the race, felt like maintaining pace/speeding up took more effort than expected, even though the pace was slower than goal pace by about 10sec/mi. Also struggled with thirst, heat, pacing myself/running long stretches alone, and stomach cramping/nausea. Ended up giving up on keeping pace at mile 23. Would appreciate advice on practicing building mental strength during the training phase, how I can avoid the stomach cramps with diet being eliminated as a factor, learning how to pace, among other things. Thank you so much!
Made with a new [race report generator](http://sfdavis.com/racereports/) created by u/herumph.

I've been friends with these two girls since school (one since I was 3 and the other 12) . We are 21 now so of course things have changed but lately everytime we hang out I feel like we have become different and our values are not the same. This gap between us wasn't as noticible before, but now that we have grown up I can see it more clearly. Their conversations always revolve around guys who they have met, dating , drinking and partying and all that stuff. It's It's even more evident when I've never had a relationship, I don't party or hook up with random guys at clubs. No offense to that, it's just not who I am. Their lifestyles are so different from mine that I feel like we have nothing in common. We used to share other topics of conversation when we were in the same class, but now we just talk about the same anecdotes over and over again and we ran out of things to say. I don't know what to do because I really appreciate them both, and they have been my friends for many years, but I feel like they are not going to bring me anything good in the long term.

There is a very interesting thought experiment. It's about a ship that has been at sea for hundreds of years, and in order to repair it always has to get parts changed, such as decks or masts. If one day all the parts on the ship were changed over, would the ship still be the same?
There are many interesting extensions to this question, such as the idea that people can't cross the same river, such as is a band whose entire crew has been replaced still the same band? The essence of all variants of the question remains the same: how do we recognize the sameness of the object of change. That is to say: in the midst of constant change, how can we be sure that the object is still the same after the change?
Let's take an example: Cells in the human body die and are renewed every moment, and every few months the cells of the whole body are replaced. Will I still be “me” after a few months? Or, for example, is a band that has had all its members replaced still the same band?
📷
Many philosophers have answered this question, and the ideas on which they answered it varied greatly, and there were even many opposing answers. This article is not intended to be a profound exposition of each answer, but simply to take you on a journey through how the age-old philosophical question was given new life in Attack on Titan.
In May 1989, Masaru Shiso began serializing Attack on Titan. The manga portrays a future with a slightly grayish tone, where people can become more like terminals by modifying their brains so that they can connect directly to the Internet. At the same time, prosthetic technology is advancing at a rapid pace, allowing people to replace any part of their body.
This is where we get a glimpse of the Ship of Theseus. If all of a person's parts were gradually replaced, would they still be the same person? More broadly, one could ask this:
If all of a person's body parts are gradually replaced with machines, is he a human or a robot?
The reality is that a person who has a prosthetic leg replaced because of a broken arm will undoubtedly not lose his identity as a human being just because he has a prosthetic leg. Nor would we call a robot human just because it had a hand attached to it.
But what happens if this replacement continues?
Use this process to push the limits. Replace all his muscles and organs with machines, and in the end keep only his brain, would he still be human?
Some would say that the brain, as well as the soul, is the mark of what makes a human being human, and that intelligence distinguishes us from beasts. Let's switch this corollary around a bit, if a person replaces the hippocampus in his brain due to an accident, is he still intact as a human being? Is he more like a human or a robot at this point?
Or maybe we create a chip that mimics human consciousness. We replicate the consciousness of a brain-injured dying man and use it to manipulate the dead man's physical body, so is he a human or a computer at this point?
By this time, the Ship of Theseus problem has begun to show its hideous fangs; there is nothing sacred about man and there is nothing nightmarishly special about machines.
It denies the uniqueness of human beings, that there is not much difference between us and our creations, that organic matter is not much more noble than inorganic matter. The fragility of the concept of “man” begins to be exposed, and we wonder: what makes a man a man?
At this point, in order to save the precarious “human being”, in order to ensure the nobility of the human being, we must turn to a more sublime force. That is the soul.
Let's take the ship of Theseus from the beginning of the article and row it here.
At this point in time, after a long voyage and repairs, we have replaced all the planks of the original ship A, and we have used the replaced planks to build ship B. So which ship is the original “ship of Theseus”?
One answer is that it is undoubtedly A, because A has something higher than matter, something that we can refer to as “soul”, which defines A and does not change with the change of the object. To extend this answer, “I” will still be “I” a few months from now, because “I” have an indestructible soul.
However, the concept of souls seems to be the same as that of God; it seems that we have carved out a place for them in our minds, and they can only exist in our minds. We can't prove it exists, nor can we prove it doesn't exist. It's like ghosts: we've heard of them, but we've never seen them.
The “soul theory” obviously doesn't hold up to scrutiny, but there are better answers to the problem of the Ship of Theseus, such as the “space-time theory”. This theory says that we should take into account the spatio-temporal continuity of things that change, and that if a changing object has spatio-temporal continuity, then that object is the original object. As long as a person is continuous in the process of change, then he is the same person, even if his cells are newborn and die, or change limbs.
The “space-time theory” is obviously not as easy to understand as the “soul theory”. If we were to make a movie about the ship of Theseus, the smart thing to do would be to choose the “soul theory” over the “space-time theory”.
Attack on Titan also adopts the “soul theory”. What is the advantage of this? It brings the audience into the narrative very quickly. In real life, we all understand that the soul is a theological concept. And it's such a distinct concept that it saves the movie from having to explain the background and devotes the limited time it has to characterization and the main narrative.
📷
The protagonist works for Public Security Section 9 to track down a hacker who has invaded the human brain. The hacker has invaded the human brain and turned normal people into puppets by manipulating their memories, when the human “soul” does not help them retain their free will.
As the protagonist and others pursue the hacker, they discover that the hacker himself is a robot. As he evades capture, he continues to think about life and death. The fact that the machine cannot nurture a “soul” does not prevent him from becoming a self-thinking human being.
A sharp contrast emerges: the self-proclaimed noble human being is manipulated, loses his freedom, and becomes more like a robot. The demeaned robot, on the other hand, begins to think nobly, and perhaps it is thinking that defines his existence.
This also provokes the protagonist to think: what defines us, what makes a human being human?
What does a successful commercial movie look like? I think first of all, the box office is high enough, and at the same time it can leave something worth remembering.
If something is too profound, the director has to be careful, the audience will probably not understand it, and only a small part of them can appreciate it. If something is too frivolous, the audience will have to scold you for treating people like retards.
Both give those who want to relax a space to hide for a while, and at the same time allow those who want to think to find interesting points. When the show breaks up and the audience lines up to exit, there are still two people who will unconsciously wonder: what makes people human?
Maybe the movie will have served its purpose.

Here's a new chapter for you, beginning a crossover with u/BiasMushroom's A Rose By Any Other Name.
Co-written with u/Objective-Farm-2560.
I hope you enjoy.
------------------------
Memory Transcription Subject: Professor Torran, Founder of the Humanity Initiative
Date [standardized human time]: December 2, 2136
I adjusted my tie as I looked at myself in the mirror. Making a good impression was paramount, and of utmost importance. This was the Prime News station, after all. This would be going everywhere on the planet.
I looked upon my reflection, fluffing up my fur as I noticed that it wasn’t as fluffy looking as it could be. Everyone loves fluffiness. Especially humans. This project was made to help them, after all. If I couldn’t appeal to them, then this project was worthless. I was confident in my persuasive ability, and it’s not like the humans had many other more accepting places on Venlil Prime to go.
Supposedly the Exterminators of Dayside City are hiring humans, but I just think that's a load of shit. Those close-minded morons would never be open to change, especially so soon.
Finally satisfied with my appearance, I looked out my window, noticing the building dust clouds in the distance. Good. No time would be wasted on my part waiting for them to come around.
I walked out of my office and to the entrance. As I walked, Kolak came into view.
“Clean up has been completed, sir.” The Yotul security officer spoke professionally.
“Good. I assume that the Arxur are in the saferoom?” I asked.
“Indeed. No incidents will occur today.”
“And the dissidents?” I continued, wanting to make sure that everything was in it’s best form.
“The written notice of confinement has been sent to them. Restriction to their respective floors, as you requested.” Kolak confirmed.
I flicked an ear as I nodded, a slight smile developing on my face. “Good. All very good. And I expect that you will be on your best behavior?”
“Yes sir.”
“Good,” I said one final time before continuing on my way.
<<>>
I stood at the entry hallway, the doors wide open in preparation of the arrival of our guests. I looked out with a small smile on my face and a slight wag to my tail as the News Trucks came into better view.
The distinctive news truck came to a stop in a painted space, a surprisingly long distance away. Yet even from this distance I could see the young woman that I wished to help. Her fiery red hair whipped in the wind as she stepped out with a rather large camera resting on her shoulders.
I began to walk over there as an older looking Venlil stood with his back to the facility. Before I could make it within earshot, Rose handed him the camera with a smile beaming on her face, “Oh!” She quickly pulled a mask out of her back pockets and fumbled it onto the ground, “I’m so sorry!”
I stopped, not wanting her to be any more nervous. I gave her a shake of my head as I smiled. “There’s no need for that, Rose. This is a place made for humans. You shouldn’t be afraid here.”
She smiled as she picked the mask up and tossed it to the old Venlil, “Right, got used to wearing that thing. It’s nice to be somewhere that isn’t needed.”
“I’d imagine so.” I said with a slight flick of my ear. “I heard from some reports that you were in… rather poor shape. How are you?” I asked.
“Well, I am temporarily patched up for now. Oh! watch this!” She took her hand and slapped the back of her head, CAUSING HER EYE TO POP OUT.
I jumped back, slightly startled.
…
That monster actually drove this poor girl to tear her eyes out. And now she needs inferior mechanical replacements. Just when I think Talen couldn’t be any worse, he manages to do just that.
“I… see,” I said, still furious with just how far that wretched Talen managed to drag her down. “I assume your new family is making sure that you’ll receive proper recovery and repair?”
“Hrm? Oh yeah!” She turned around and chucked the orb at the other Venlil, “Dad! Catch!”
Oh boy! I’m gonna meet Rose’s new family! There’s no possible way this can be ruined-
“BUH! Guh! ROSE! Please! Stop doing that!” The Greying Venlil stomped his feet with a playful flick of his tail. I felt a chill run up my spine as he set the false eye in a case with several others before walking over with it.
…
… What is this witchcraft?
“Rose. If you want to swap these out, please don’t throw them! These were gifts, after all, until the surgery date. And apologize to that man! You’ve scared the fleece off of him!”
How? How the actual FUCK is she tolerating him! I know humans are good natured but-
“You are right.” She pulled her other one out before setting her new ones in and turning to me. With a bow, “I apologize sir. I should have been more considerate.”
“You have nothing to apologize for,” I said absentmindedly, distracted by the hideous sight of the worthless creature that stood before me.
She happily bounced on the spot, “It sounds like you know who I am, but this is my Dad, Talen McDermott. It’s been official for a week!
I flicked an ear uncomfortably at the sound of that borderline blasphemous sentence. To think that Rose would allow this creature that had driven her to attempting suicide to become her family…
I was unable to repress a physical shudder at that thought. “How nice. So very nice of you, Talen.” I forced myself to say, feigning joy.
Rose glanced away at the ground as Talen had the audacity to flick his ear at her in annoyance, “It is a plesure to meet you sir. I understand you are Proffesor Torran? The founder of this institution?”
“Yes. You are correct.” I said through slightly gritted teeth. It took a lot of will power to not clench my jaw at the sound of the creature’s noise.
Rose skipped towards the truck before grabbing a strange stick with several joints in it. Talen smiled as she came back, “Alright, she's got the camera ready. Would you mind if we did the tour first before the interview? The tour might help answer some questions as well as pose some that we might not think to ask otherwise?”
I hummed in thought for a moment, wondering the best course of action. A tour wouldn’t be a bad idea. I could give Rose the best possible view of the place. If I was clever enough, I could even get Talen alone…
Oh yeah. It’s all coming together.
“Of course. I would love to give you a tour of the facility.” I finally said. “Shall we get started?”
The pair nodded as Rose stepped slightly in front of Talen, “Yes sir! Camera is rolling and the audio sounds great! Whenever you are ready.”
“Excellent.”
<<>>
“...and this is the cafeteria, where everyone gets their food. We even have meat and plants from Earth for humans to dine on,” I said pushing through the doors to the aforementioned room. There were a couple people dining, and they continued to focus on their food.
“I assume that the funding you get for all the foodstuffs is of the same source as the rest of your supplies?” Talen asked curiously.
“Yes.” I answered with gritted teeth, before relaxing my jaw. “People can be very generous.”
More generous than you, at least, you blasphemous wretch.
“Amazing!” Talen said with enthusiasm, making me shudder the slightest bit.
It was then that I noticed Lakila, Blyatt, and little Lorran. This was the perfect opportunity.
I turned to the duo, facing Rose’s camera. “Would you care if I introduced you to one of the best Mediators in my staff, as well as our Farsul residents?” I asked with a smile.
Talen happily flicked his tail, “That would be wonderful. Of course, only with their consent.”
“Of course,” I said, my eye twitching at the wretched reporter’s hypocrisy. “I’ll ask them right away.”
I walked away towards my favorite residents, more than a little relieved to be away from the creature that was Talen.
As I neared Blyatt and his new partner, he stood up at attention. “Mister Torran sir, is there anything you need?”
“Nothing I need, but the Prime News station is here to see the facility. Would you lot care to be on television?” I asked the group, ending my sentence looking at little Lorran.
“Mum, I wanna be on TV! Pwease, Pwease, Pwease!” The little one said as he tugged on his mother’s fur enthusiastically.
She laughed endearingly at her son’s antics, no doubt finding them highly adorable. “Oh, alright, dear. We can be on the telly for a moment. What do you think, love? Want to join us?”
The last question was directed at Blyatt, who also smiled. “Of course! I’d love to meet the news!”
With that, I led them both back to the news duo.
I barely caught the end of the hushed conversation Talen and Rose were having, “but Daaaaad… look at him! don’t you just want to squish his adowable little face!”
“Of course I do! I’m only a Venlil! But you don’t just ask for permission to pet people!” Talen looked up at our approach and cleared his throat, “Ahem, I am Talen McDermott and this is my daughter Rose. It’s a pleasure to meet you all. We both work for Prime news and would love to get to know you and what it is like here!
“Oh, Hello! My name is Blyatt, and I’m one of the best mediators here!” the Yotul spoke in greeting. “And this here is Lakila and her son Lorran, our two Farsul residents.”
“Very humble description of yourself,” Lakila teased, flicking the Yotul’s snout with a paw. “It's good to meet you, Rose and Talen McDermott.”
“Rose, I trust that you can handle an interview on your own. Would you mind doing that while I privately have an interview with your… father.”
“That’s up to Dad. I’m just the intern at the moment.”
“It should be ok Rose. I have my camera for just these occasions. It’ll let us get more footage for Kotaka.”
I twitched an eye at the sight of the camera. “I don’t think that will be necessary. I’m an old fashioned man. I’m sure you’re fine using words, right?”
“Old fashion? Well, I prefer recordings myself, but We will make do with just a text transcript. Lead the way, sir.”
Oh, text won’t be needed either. Not for what I have to say to you, old man.
<<>>
After we had stepped into my office, I closed the door behind me.
Talen let out a short whistle, “Oh this is a rather lovely-”
“Shut the fuck up.” I said, plain and simple.
“Excuse me? Are you ok, Sir? Did I-”
“This is my place, and I decide what happens here. And here… you aren’t welcome to speak.” I said, staring directly into his eyes, standing firm as I bore my gaze into his soul.
Talen’s ears where pinned back in confusion as his tail nervously flicked. He almost shrank back into himself as he took a step back in shock.
“If you really want to know my deal, you will shut up and listen. I have quite the story for you to hear.” I said firmly.
Talen almost froze as he stared at me, expecting me to continue.
“Twenty eight years ago, a woman was just walking home from grocery shopping. She was happy with her view of the world. That was, until, she was assaulted after rounding a corner. When she woke up, she was trapped, and at the mercy of a ‘fellow prey’. This man did a great many terrible things to her before the exterminators finally came around. They didn’t even bother actually trying to stop him as they torched the room. The woman survived, but the man escaped, and the poor victim would never fully recover from all of it.” I described in vivid detail.
“How do I know this?” I asked rhetorically. “Because seven months later, she gave birth to a child. If it wasn’t painfully obvious by the way I am saying this whole thing… I was that child.”
Talen’s jaw hung open as his head was slightly tilted. He looked equal parts concerned and confused.
“From the moment I was born, I was exposed to the truth of the Galaxy.” I continued. “From my mother’s refusal to connect with me on an emotional level, to seeing how those who were different were mistreated, all the way to seeing how Exterminators burned everything indiscriminately. I knew the truth. The Federation is a loveless society, an empathyless collective that deserves to be destroyed.”
I took a step forward. “I made it my mission to correct civilization as a whole, starting with all of this. But it didn’t start with this. I had… a role model. Someone I looked up to for guidance.”
I stared into Talen’s eyes with my own, giving him the strongest glare I could. “I looked up to you, Talen.”
“Ah…”
“I respected you. You were the exception to the rule that was the loveless Federation. You stopped embezzlement, fought against unfair treatment, and preached a more empathetic society. You even freed the giant Tarlim from his imprisonment and torture. You may as well have been the chosen one!” I explained.
I continued speaking. “I became a supervisor for the exchange program. I hoped to see progress being made. When I saw that you had joined, I hoped that you would make the progress faster. I hoped that you would be accepting and welcoming of humans. I hoped that you would be good friends of the little human girl that you had been paired with.” My voice grew harder with each sentence.
Talen retreated further into himself with every sentence I spoke. The bastard knew what he did, and he was trying to escape the consequences of his actions.
Not on my watch.
I felt my anger boil to the brink as I clenched my fists and teeth. My eyes twitched as my body shook with anger. I could only manage one more sentence before the anger would be too much to repress.
“And then what did you do?”
His ears laid flat against his head, “I- I made a mistake. I pan-”
“SHUT UP, YOU ANIMAL! SELFISH, VIOLENT, NARCISSISTIC, HYPOCRITICAL ANIMAL!” I shouted, cutting him off.
I wasted no time.
I charged forward, wrapping a paw around his throat as I slammed him into a locker. “I’ll tell you what you did! You showed your true colors, FEDERATION SCUM! You showed that you are the embodiment of everything that is wrong with the Federation! You might as well be a Kolshian or Farsul, those brainwashing and gene-modding freaks of civilization!”
I felt my claws dig into skin under the fur, causing Talen to yelp, only to be silenced by me slamming him into the metal lockers again. “You are the worst person I have ever met! A hypocritical selfish bastard! One who refuses to see that they don’t deserve life or love! One who insists that they are the best people around! One who hates all who oppose him without remorse!”
I felt the tips of my claws grow slightly wet, blood racing through Talen’s veins as he struggled and leaking out the wounds I was inflicting.
“You wanna know what I think of you! I say that your wife DESERVED to die for daring to associate with you! To help you propagate your cursed genes! I say that your old daughter, Elva, DESERVES to die for thinking you could be good even after she saw your true colors! The only reason I don’t give Rose the same damnation is because she’s a human, making her naturally innocent. But you do not deserve to be her father! A monster like you doesn’t deserve ANYTHING!”
Talen’s paws wrapped around mine, trying desperately to pull them off of his throat as tears ran down his face. I wouldn’t bother telling him to stop struggling. He wasn’t worth it.
“The only thing I wish for you is that you find a chain that is long and strong enough to rip your head from your shoulders when you hang yourself off a cliff like the criminal you are.” I continued. “Which I would prefer you do as soon as possible.”
I leaned in to his face, boring a glare into his soul through his crying eyes.
“Now get the fuck out of my sight.”
I finally let go, stepping back as Talen ran out the door like the coward he was.
…
I almost lost my mind right there. Almost murdered the man.
I looked down at my paw, the tips of my claws orange with blood. I frowned at myself. I could’ve handled all of that better.
Still, letting myself go like that felt good.
I walked over to my desk, aiming for the liquor drawer. I needed something strong to cool myself off.
First
Previous

I made it a year, though I didn't really work the past two or so months. I went from being a full time CEM to part time CEM and after calling HR and having extended conversations about the Manager (who was/is absolute trash for anyone who wasn't a white man) I was demoted to regular associate, told through a text message, and had pay reduced by $4 an hour. I didn't even bother to come back to a shift after that.
Almost every employee I've met at Michaels was a creative, thoughtful, empathetic soul who had a niche artistic interest and was just a genuine joy to be around. Michaels doesn't value that, sadly, and your horrible experience (and mine) is pretty much the standard across the nation's stores. I'm so sorry.
I don't hold a lot of hope in this store, I hate saying that. I remember what an institution it was when I was growing up. My bestie Heidi and I used to buy embroidery floss, make friendship bracelets out of them and sell them at school in 4th-6th grade. Until we were told that it wasn't legal and they made us stop. I think after that we bought craft paint and yarn, painted rocks while the rest of the six grade was in sex education (we weren't allowed to take it because Christianity) and sold the rocks. Michaels' totally supported my bath products and CD collection back then.
I wish the store's higher ups valued the workers like they value their own paycheck. Heads up CEO, you're making over $3M a year. I offered a single mom $10.20 an hour during peak season. I was so ashamed.
Working at Michaels changed me in a profound way, and I truly mean that. I watched people work incredibly hard just so the burden of work didn't fall on the shoulders of their coworkers, people working through illness and injury, people constantly away from their kids. I held a sobbing 20 year old employee on their first shift back from a stint at a Pysc Hospital where they'd frantically tried to salvage their mental health. One day back in the store that poor child just couldn't one more day. I'm grateful they quit. I hugged and listened to multiple trans employees who were bullied by the SM, reported it, and was ignored. To them, I am so sorry. I did everything I could. Watching the lack of communication, the intentional gossip, bullying, general awfulness in that place was DEVASTATING. Every shift I came back from I was sad, broken, and exhausted. I can't pretend I'm not relieved to be out. I had nothing left to give that place.
I hope everyone looking for something else finds it. I wish those staying fulfillment and peace.
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Hey everyone! My finals are done and I think I have used the Tab Active 5 enough to where I can do a final judgement on the battery side of things. Also I just have some final thoughts about my Tab Active 5 as well.
So about the battery: I think it should last 8 hours for a medium workload. My workload is pretty light since I use my Tab Active 5 primarily to read and watch videos, and in both cases I use my Active 5 for 2.5 hours of reading per week and the occasional 1 hour of video watching, since I watch a lot of videos on my S22 Ultra (and just realized that). For battery drain for reading, I have more than enough to last me since I don't use it enough, but I believe by the end of my reading I lose about 10-15% battery which is really good for light tasks. For video watching, I think I lose 10-15% of battery per hour. At the end of the day, I think it should last an entire day reading, watching videos, taking notes, etc, but if you throw more things at it I think the battery drain would more or less equal the expected battery life of 8 hours of productivity, losing about 12-15% per hour I believe.
I know that doesn't sound like a lot, but I believe that the Active 5 should last til the end of the day when it needs a recharge.
So, about the cons:

• Weight: I should've been aware of this, but this tablet isn't suited for reading for one reason: the weight. I am thinking of downgrading to the Tab A9 because it would weigh less for reading. Reading my textbook for 2-2.5 hours at a time will become fatiguing if you hold the tablet with only one hand. The weight is expected and honestly my fault bc the tablet is made for heavy enterprise use. For gaming, watching videos, etc. the weight shouldn't affect things though, only for reading tbh.
• Price: For a midrange processor and 128GB/6GB RAM config, the $550 price tag doesn't cut it for the average user. Nowadays I find the Tab S9FE at $350 on Amazon and Best Buy with the same config, so if you're just looking at it for pure specs besides screen size I'd suggest you get the S9FE instead.
• Build Quality of S-Pen: compared to the Tab Active 3 s-pen, the s-pen here is quite a bit cheaply made, and it feels like such a huge downgrade because the s-pen here feels hollow. It still does feel well-built but just something to be said here.
• USB 2.0 and DeX: I was very disappointed here. I don't use DeX normally except on my Tab S8+ so this doesn't affect me, but using wireless DeX with wireless monitors provided by my university, I see intense input lag, and overall it isn't a fun experience using DeX on the Tab Active 5. Obviously no HDMI input either so that's why I had to resort to wireless DeX, but be prepared for intense disappointment for heavy productivity here.
• Mono speaker: The speaker on the Active 5 is good, but I feel like the sound is lacking in its fullness compared to my S22 Ultra and Tab S8+. I wish it had two speakers at least.

Long term, using my Tab Active 5 was fun, but I am starting to notice these glaring cons of the Tab Active 5. As a result I'm thinking of downgrading to the Tab A9 or my Active 3 which I still have but is listed on eBay to help pay the cost of the Active 5 at full MSRP.
Overall, I would say the following people are suited for the Tab Active 5:

• People like amazon delivery guys or doing heavy enterprise work like Samsung advertises
• People who would take short notes on the Tab Active 5, keep it for a long while, and use the tablet as a notebook.
• The second point, while gaming and watching videos, **BUT** has a samsung ecosystem and is reluctant to use a different brand of tablet that is better for the money because of the OP samsung ecosystem features.
• People who would use this as a navigation system for their car
• People who have money to burn

Otherwise, this tablet isn't for you. The Active 5 is indeed a very niche tablet, and the third best 8 inch tablet at that, but it is so niche I believe the vast majority of people would enjoy the Lenovo Y700, iPad Mini 6/7, or the Tab A9.
This is gonna be my final review of the Tab Active 5, unless if I want to write a very comprehensive review about it. Here are some resources about my thoughts on the Tab Active 5:

• Playlist of Tab Active 5 unboxing, outdoor usage test, and comparison between the iPad Mini 6 on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0MY6uyzLl60&list=PLjXd8efIiRQNBjjgV_RU0hZH1OuCe2VAE
  
• Short term battery review: https://www.reddit.com/GalaxyTab/comments/1b7otmw/tab_active_5_battery_1day_review_other_short/
  

I didn't know what tag to put on this so here we go.
TW: Mentions of death, suicide, depression, anxiety, eating disorders, dysmorphia, C-PTSD,
I'm writing this without the intention of posting it, I'm uncertain if this is something I want to share, but, I feel as if I have no other choice. This is a lot, but I'm trying to trace things back to their possible beginnings. I have no idea if I'm doing this right, I hope that I am.
I ended up posting it.
SECTION ONE: DEATH & EDUCATION
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I am a 20M, I don't use reddit for much. I'm born and raised in the United States and I'm GEN Z. I've been in college for almost 5 years and my grades are good for the most part despite my utter burnout. I have several mental conditions both diagnosed and some which I have discovered on my own. I intend to verify with some sort of mental health professional the ones I'm uncertain of. I am confirmed to have Generalized Anxiety Disorder, ADHD, Insomnia. However I believe that I also have some sort of eating disorder as when I'm anxious I eat a lot in order to stop thinking about it, BDD [Body Dysmorphic Disorder] which i'm 100% certain about and depression. My psychologist when I was in high school argued that I have complex PTSD relating to school/academic environments. While I'm not entirely sold on it myself I thought I would include it until I can get a second opinion.
When I was younger I had constantly been told that "You are so mature" and "You look so old/big" that it had become part of my personality, and part of the way I lived my life. I typically agreed with this when I was younger, I didn't find enjoyment in school in fact quite the opposite. I loathed it.
See, I was always the "bigger" kid. I mean big, like I had childhood obesity big. My parents weren't worried however because my doctor at the time had said something along the lines of "As he grows he'll shed some of the weight" however this was not the case whatsoever. I grew up with a lot of weight and when I was younger there was plenty of teasing and bullying. I discovered how cruel people could be when I was very young, as I wasn't as physically fit I found myself unable to have fun as there wasn't something I could go do where I sat away from people. My parents as wonderful as they are never seemed to be able to comprehend why I loathed school to the point where I was pretty much willing to say I had anything just not to go. I had told them how uncomfortable school makes me and they had once proposed to me and asked if I wanted to go to a different school. (We were well off in comparison to most of our area) However what little friends I did make I wanted to keep and I worried that as a new student at a different school I would draw even more attention.
Since I stayed I had to deal with the bullying, I was too afraid to leave what few friends I had. I never understood why they were mean to me. I had always been kind, and I hadn't been afraid to talk for myself however at a certain point I started to believe everything they said. So I started staying in my house more often, the neighbors who I had been friends with since I was very young I fell out with because I didn't want to be physically outside and risk embarrassing myself as I had always done. My favorite hobby was playing video games in the living room, I had nothing else besides my Nintendo DS for Pokémon or other games that my brother and I shared. Looking back I probably made a couple of people feel bad, but I had felt awful too. If I could go back I'd change it. However there is nothing I can do.
Eventually I just stopped letting myself be seen.
My brothers friends became my friends, however as time went on one of them utterly abandoned him because he came out as gay to this friend we'll call Chad. While I didn't know this at the time, one day one of the friends I had made core memories with simply disappeared and I never found out why until I was 16. The year after another one his friends (we'll call him Wedge) lost his sister to cancer, and he eventually stopped hanging out with us due to grief and an onset of mental illness. (I still communicate with him, but for private reasons I can't go into why I can't befriend him please understand). Eventually, another one of our friends (We'll call Jack) had also gotten cancer, he had survived but had been in and out of the hospital so much that we lost our connection. Lastly, the cousin (We'll call her Allison) I was closest with someone who I really related too suddenly dropped out of my life due to inter-family drama with our parents. Bare in mind, this all happened within the span of 2 years when I couldn't have been older than 6 or 7. I became used to people coming and going. In fact it's been the key theme in my life, that people will die, and are unfortunately temporary and I had to learn this young. Some family members had come around when my great grandfather was dying assuming he had money so they started hanging out with us only for them to depart shortly after his death after realizing there was nothing he had to give. I think subconsciously I had become emotionally jaded instead of mature. It didn't become any easier when people at my school killed themselves or tried to stab one another
So I gained a fear of abandonment. Future events didn't help it much either. While my brother began to despise talks about emotions (he was 5 years older than me) I began to need someone to talk to more and more.
My family never understood why I had so many issues with education despite doing so well. I had always been bad at communicating my feelings until recently (not that it has changed anything in my life) so they always believed that it was simply me being a boy and not wanting to go to school. This never changed until middle school, it took years for them to finally listen to me when I told them I get chronic migraines I even had a diagnosis for it alongside the CPTSD and GAD. Yet by this time it was too late for anything to be done. Education had been a nightmare for me, unsympathetic teachers, difficult administration that said they didn't believe me because I wasn't one to show I was anxious.
There's more, but I feel like I've painted a clear enough picture of my early childhood. One year my migraines had gotten so bad that I spent all 365 days inside without any connection, and the year after as well. I had been so anxious about high school that I dropped out in 10th grade, and got a GED through some loopholes. I went to college the semester after, entirely online.
So for four years I was locked inside a house. Four years. This doesn't even include all the issues I had dealt with in terms of parents, or the intricate social issues I had online which was my only source of interaction, and remains to be my only source of interaction. In fact 50% of my life was either in school or at home. There was no other location which I went too. I didn't have any friends as they had all ditched me for objectively more put together people in high school. Despite all my academic anxieties doing college online was a breeze for me, I got 4.0 GPA my first three semesters until I transferred.
But we'll come back to this. I want to go over some other things.
SECTION TWO: HOME & FAMILY
All I had was home and videogames. It was what kept me going. For the longest time I had to sit in the living room in order to play multiplayer games with strangers who often treated me better than people in real life. I eventually met some people I stayed friends with for 10 years, however around year 3 I realized that I had always been the but of their jokes, or one who was always worst one in the group. There was a bully of mine in that group, but I liked the other people so much that it was worth it. However anytime I said I didn't like how they made me feel I was met with further ridicule until eventually I simply decided to play with them only when they were on. However I had the burning desire to prove myself and that I wasn't the worst in the group like I had always been in my real life. However this took me years to accomplish and by the time I did it felt hollow.
My parents often would yell at me if I spoke too loud which is typical in most families, however the walls were paper thin, so too loud was talking at a casual indoor volume which often caused me a lot of embarrassment which they never seemed to care about. Sometimes they'd break my things and I'd get super sad and only after they realized how much pain they caused me would they do anything. They didn't realize that being online was one of the most important things to me when I was younger, I don't blame them, however . . .
It wasn't just online. It was vacations, hotel rooms, in public, in private spaces, school, or anything. Every vacation we had ever taken I cried on due to the yelling and bickering that took place between my parents who continually said that it was typical for both of them. However, it never felt like that and for some reason I was always caught in the middle. No matter where I was it always felt as if something was going to go wrong, like someone was going to embarrass me. While I'm aware now the only people they embarrassed was themselves, it is awful that I live with this and feel unable to be myself in any public space. Their justification always was that's how they always were and they always explained how it wasn't going to change and that I'd just have to learn how to live with it. I fear going anywhere with them.
While they're somewhat better now, I can't help but wish they were better then.
SECTION THREE: ONLINE DATING
Being locked in a house for so long does a number on you I think its something that most people can sympathize with at least now. You wish and long for social interaction craving the feeling of someone else around you and eventually it turns to this deep obsession and longing that you cant get rid of or replace. For me, the cure was hearing "I love you." I'm not physically attractive in person, at least not conventionally. I'm 350lbs, but I appear to carry it well so I actually look lighter than I actually am (Thank God). It's safe to say I'm not someone's first choice, and that's okay. I'm good at other things and have skills in other areas. I met a girl online one day and we became friends but we lost each other in school work, a year later we had met again online by chance alone and we spent time with one another. It lasted for about three years with intention to meet up, had I been more mature I'm sure the relationship would've lasted, but it was a right person wrong time situation. She was nice and caring and taught me a lot about religion, I too this day credit her for what little faith I have left in a God.
This isn't the first time I've dated online (by online I mean no physical contact not like dating apps), nor was I the first in my family. My brother had been dating his partner for about 6 years at that point, now he actually brings his partner over and stuff which was super nice to see. She built up my self confidence and practically said every word right when it needed to be said, eventually she cheated, she had come and told me immediately and against my better judgement I forgave her, and then at the end of the relationship she did it again. Was it stupid? Yep. Did I set myself up for it? Yeah. Does it still bother me? Sometimes. However, hearing those words were sweet and gave me a reason to wake up in the morning as stupid as it may sound.
Since then I haven't met anyone, nor do I think I could no matter how much I know it would make my life better. I wouldn't want to burden someone. Plus, I've never had anyone show any interest in me whatsoever, only time people have been willing to give me a chance is if they never saw how I looked and only experienced my personality. (This does wonders for my self-confidence) [clear sarcasm]
SECTION FOUR: WEIGHTLOSS & LACK OF FRIENDS
I've heard all manner of arguments against people who are obese. From the "Control yourself" argument or "eat a salad" or just simply "eat less." However these arguments often come from people who haven't ever dealt with the condition before. It makes life a struggle to live and one would think if things were that simple everyone would be physically fit. However this isn't the case. Yes, all of those things are important, but I've been trying to lose weight since I was 14. That is 6 going on 7 years. With BDD I look myself in the mirror in self hatred, and given that I have a bigger stomach its with me everywhere I go. I predominantly wear baggy clothes in order to cover this up, but even I know that they make me look even worse. The closest I ever got to being below 300 was 310, then I was put on a medication which made me suicidal and all this progress was gone because I had basically been put on home arrest by my family (reasonably so).
Even still, I haven't gotten that close in such a long time and I'm wondering if it'll ever look how I want too. I wonder if people will ever see me as someone other than that fat guy who is mostly socially awkward but can be funny sometimes. I never got to develop the necessary social skills for dealing with people that most kids who grow up bigger do. I don't have a fun sense of humor, I'm very dry, but I feel the need to be funny which never works out. I spent my whole life without friends to the point where I don't even know where to begin in making them.
The amount of sleepless nights ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Alright, now you know everything which leads up to my present day at my current campus and my current life. Thank you for reading up until this point, but now lets get into the finishing portion. Today and tomorrow.
FINAL SECTION: Today and Tomorrow
Remember how I said that I transferred colleges after my third semester? Well, I went to college at 16, and transferred at my last couple months as a 17 year old. I commute and it's about a 30min drive. (I don't know how to drive, COVID-19 ruined my chances at learning when I was supposed too.) At the time I just dropped off a distance away from the campus and walked there as I was embarassed that my parents had to still drive me. Freshmen Orientation was awful, I tried to make it good for myself but the people I was around wanted nothing to do with me and I knew why. I just wasn't good enough. I called the campus to see if there was anything that could be done, and the figured something out, however the second group was no different. I tried connecting with people who were having similar issues to me through digital means to arrange meetups on the campus however this went even worse and I was frequently ghosted. My psychologist at the time believed that I had become triggered from this experience on the first day of classes where I had a severe panic attack where I practically relived 20 years of pain in a couple of seconds. I was reduced to a blabbering mess wondering what I had done wrong, and where I went wrong.
See I had been told my whole life when I suffered through public school that college was going to be this wonderful experience where people find themselves and learn to do things all on their own. I was the first generation to go to college in my family and each person had told me these great things. To me it was pretty much my last vestige of hope. When it all went wrong I had been devastated. To this day I have tried to make friends, I do my best to approach first and be polite with those in my classes. I behave in a helpful fashion and always try to be useful to others. Yet time and time again I've failed. For the first three weeks of my first semester I didn't go to a single class due to horrible anxiety when my only hope was that for once in my life I could be myself.
With all this, I feel alienated, worthless, ugly. Something not worthy of love nor compassion from others, an outsider who doesn't belong. I've slowly carved at all the things I'm confident in out of my mind as I have become burnt out from years of being "so smart." Now I can barely lift a finger for an assignment that is two hours do from midnight either because I'm having a mental breakdown or I'm thinking about having a mental breakdown. I have so many conditions, fears, phobias, and health issues I feel as if my life would be better lived by someone else. All the love and praise I do receive from my professors and family feels wrong and despite my family trying to accommodate my unique needs it always seems like I have to clash with them in order for them to understand I am not the same as them as in I can't just function as they all do. I come from a very hardworking family so to them despite my conditions I'm just lazy and I don't understand how to deal with all of it.
It feels like I was in the character creator and decided to do all negative traits to see how long I would last before I die or go insane. Sometimes I don't know if I've grown to deal with it or if I have become numb to my own feelings and needs which have never been addressed. So with all of this, how do I live? How am I supposed do anything if I can't even do the simple things like go to classes or control how I respond to stress? I feel as if I'm missing out on everything from knowing what my body can possibly do if it was fit, to not getting the social experience I need and so desperately crave even though I know I don't belong.
Everyone responds to life differently and I hope everyone can understand that what may not bother you could bother someone else. I hope people understand I'm not trying to sound cringe or anything, but genuinely receive some form of help. I probably didn't do how I'm feeling justice, or what I've experienced, but this is my first time expressing myself in a online setting.
Good luck everyone! I hope everyone is doing well and if you aren't were in this together.

I am the wife. Now 39 and my husband 44 and our children are now 1 and 3 years old.
My husband showed me his post but he has missed a lot of things out. If I am the a*shrike I will put my hands up and admit that.
Prior to the VIP event at Downing Street, the best man from our wedding had come to our house and in front of my husband. Stated that my husband had been flirting with their friend’s girlfriend at this LARP he had been attending for many years. He said,”You can twist it up to (my name) as much as you want afterwards.” My husband didn’t back deny it, he didn’t throw his friend out, or deny the claims. I felt sick but I had no words.
When the VIP Downing Street event came up, it was my cousin who had been out of work for years who had the job and she phoned me and offered me a ticket. As she knew, that I don’t really go out anywhere. I asked my husband’s permission on 3 separate occasions. By text, face to face and verbally over the phone and each time he gave his permission. Was still looking for an extra ticket for him and was going to go as far as to use my own month to get a ticket but my cousin told me, that it was VIP and therefore limited. But still we discussed getting tickets in the future as we knew my husband was into politics. It was not a party but V.I.P event, for relatives of people who worked at Downing Street. Before people knew about Boris Johnson and the parties. At the last minute my husband decided that I could not go with our eldest. To get me to listen to him, he threatened to tell my Uncle’s wife about my Aunty being a b*tch. They don’t get on and this would have created so much drama on my side of the family. That my husband was contacting relatives, to moan about my Aunty. The second thing he did, was he said,”You can’t go if there is a bomb scare can you?” In my mind, I thought about me and our baby being tackled by the police and how traumatic it would be for us. Especially our child.
The V.I.P ticket was just that. A V.I.P ticket to look at the inside of Downing Street get a chance to meet my cousin’s collegues. There were other children attending too and every adult there was a parent. From my mother to step father. So it would never be a party.
After I cancelled attending, nobody could take my place as it was such short notice and, they had made arrangements as I was bringing my child who was very young. After the cancellation my husband began saying that he would have taken us down to London, that my step father drove like a maniac. All of these suggestions that he never meanioned before and even worse, he began telling other people this too. As if I would take our baby to a party I am not that irresponsible and I stopped clubbing over a decade ago.
My mother decided to ban my husband from my Grandmother’s house, as that is where everyone meets whenever we are doing anything. Like birthday parties, film night e.t.c My Grandmother who has always liked my husband said that it was impossible for that ban to take place, as it was her house. My mother and I have a very close relationship like best friends.
Yes I was abused as a child by a man who was beating up my mother. But the authorities are aware of that and know who he is and are dealing with it.
I arranged for my mother to have a conversation with my husband as they used to get on so well. My mother even did a surprise birthday spread for him. Something which I have never experienced in the nearly 20 years we have been together from his side, the most I have got is a birthday card and some cards and month but I have still appreciated it. Anyway they talked and my mother brought up what the best man had said about him flirting with another woman, also about him making jokes to our baby saying,”Do you want another Mummy?” Things I had told my husband I didn’t find funny and not to do in public but he did it anyway. Which was in front of his family and I found that hurtful and humiliating. For a moment my husband took the phone to a part in the kitchen where I couldn’t hear what was said and my mother maintains up until this day they that he threatened her.
Regarding the Bomb scare threat I told my husband that even if he had said it in jest, he would have lost his job and been investigated by police. But he laughed it off. My cousin was in tears as she could have lost her job and this is the type of things they warn you about in government jobs. She doesn’t work there now and she did ask to speak to my husband to get an apology but he refused. Said he didn’t have anything to Aplogise for. Why did I tell my Mim about the bomb scare threat he made? We have that relationship where she tells me things about her partner and we have never confronted him about it. I thought it would be the same for me, yes I apologised to my husband all the time about telling my Mum he made a bomb scare threat.
Regarding marriage counciling we tried it it for a moment and in the 1-1 session the councilour told me my husband raised many red flags and asked what he was like with our child.
While pregnant with our second my husband would call me “lazy” and compared me to other women he knew who were pregnant. Still I did everything, from breakfast to ironing his clothes to work, any D.I.Y in the house which needed doing, buying extra rails for our clothes. Even putting the bins out. Still he would cuss me and call me names. On two separate erate occasions he came to my midwife appointment and changed the time and dates there and then saying he couldn’t make it as he had to support a collegue from work. On one such occasion he rushed home after dropping me and our eldest home, had a shave changed his clothes to meet this female colleague. Showing the midwives that he wasn’t too interested in the appointment which they arranged as they were concerned that I would get gestational diabetics. I agreed to the change of the appointment times as I didn’t want to create a fuss and was embarrassed that he had changed them.
While pregnant he would text and phone this female colleague every hour of the night, Waasaap, FaceTime whenever. Meanwhile he was calling me names. He even once turned and said this weird phrase,”If there are 2 dogs but one isn’t interested and another dog comes along and is sniffing.” In relation to his relationship with this female colleague.
There was an incident where one of his mother’s dogs growled at our child for getting too close to him. I was heavily pregnant and had to come off the livingroom chair I was sitting on to get our eldest. My husband said it was just a “warning growl” and his nieces who grew up with dogs said it was “scary” how the greyhound reacted. This is a dog which retired from racing and used to chase small things. So naturally any parent would be weary of that. So I spoke to my MiL about it and she blamed me for it , saying that it was because I was on my mobile phone. Even though there were other relatives who were closer to my son.
I knew I couldn’t talk to my family about how I was feeling so I began speaking to the best man who had since retracted his statement about my husband flirting with another woman at his LARP game. But he let me know that there were other people who felt weary around my husband and how he was banned from LARP for his behaviour. I was shocked as my husband had always told me he was being bullied there. And not one to just follow what someone says on face value I contacted them and they told me that under no circumstances would my husband be allowed at LARP or any other events they themselves did due to his behaviour.
There had also been a few work collegues who said he was threatening to them and aggressive. Not a casual conversation but people who had reported this to people in the company he worked for.
I wasn’t suffering from post natal depression, I was stressed and upset at what was happening , what I was being told and how I was being treated.
My respite was only supposed to be until my husband’s temper had subsided. I stayed at my Grandmother’s for about four days with our children.
Back home my husband confided in me that his mother had been the one to put a stop to the London VIp event. Out of order because the amount of times she will take my husband places and leave me and the children at home.
As well as this revelation being told to me, my brother in law came to the house while me and my children were inside and began kicking and punching the door and making threatening and racist remarks.My husband wasn’t home and our youngest at the time was under 3 months. He left when my MIL came to the door and she told me while I was holding my youngest in my arms that we never should have came back. And she defended my brother in laws behaviour saying it was down to his bipolar and when she left the house she smiled into the ring camera sweetly as if she had been comforting me, I just burst into tears. I had come back home with my children and this happened.
My mother in law came to the house a second time but my family who had heard how she was carrying on advised me not to open the door and let her in again.
Later on in the year my brother in law came to the house wrote a note and posted it through the letterbox. My mother in law came to the house and opened our front door with a key I knew nothing about her having,and removed the evidence. Then miraculously the video footage disappeared. The footage showing my brother in law coming to the house, posting the note through the door and my mother in law coming and leaving. But you could see it had been deleted as it jumped,then there was a huge time lapse. Thankfully I had downloaded the footage moments beforehand. So when the the police came around they had that footage. As this was the second time the police gave me a crime reference number to link the incidents together.
It was my mother and brother who checked the house for me the second time around before my children stepped foot into the house. With me.
Other things….
*I went to a plant show and I had told my husband before hand. He claims that he didn’t know and on the day while I was there at the plant place my mother and I had invited him to come along. He refused. We were also going to see some poets performing there and I love plants and poetry. I wrote poetry and love gardening. My husband didn’t come to see the beautiful view with us and he wasn’t home when I got home at 10pm at night. He didn’t answear any phone calls or texts and I stayed up worried that he was laying dead in a ditch. I had my life360 app on so he could see where I was at all times an app he got everyone to join and yet his location was off. I was pregnant with our second child and I stayed up all night. In the morning he came in briskly without a care in the world and he behaved like he had done nothing wrong. He went to work and he blamed me for him not coming home. I went to see a plant show….. (PoliNations) and he punished me by not coming home. He didn’t care about me our or unborn childrd child.
A*My husband has sent me poo emojis when I have sent him hearts.
He has waited for me to pack the car up with bags and our children and drove off, taking my purse with him. And telling me on the phone while I am begging him to come back to ask my Mum for money if I need it. That day I was meeting my Mum in town and I was so late as a result of this I had to beg my husband to come back as he had my purse and everything in the car.
Yes he still speaks to that female collegue in fact he is getting her a job at his new workplace he has also told me that she wanted to cook for him at her home. Any concerns I have he makes out like I am possessive and paranoid. She has even gone so far as to go to Pakistan to get him t shirts for some union stuff they were doing together.
My husband has also tried to tell me that I am autistic, on the spectrum and mentally ill if I try to remind him of something he has done he will say I’m imagining it or hearing things or am Mad.. Randomly I found an article showing you how to retrieve deleted messages and I found texts where he told me if I died it would serve my mother right for banning him. Other things like that.
We attend many places with his side of the family like museums and family zoos but now as well as this it has become a habit to be out and hear my in laws running down my mother or my side of the family I have asked them not too.
My mother is fearful that if anything were to happen to me and my children. My in laws would cover it up. Am I the arsehole?
The internet is down it took 3 hrs to upload this Thank you for reading.

Greetings from a country, where "Dobre" means "good" :) (and that's one of reasons, why I watch You on Yt). Therefore please forgive me any mistakes. English is not my first language and I'm writing it late at night, because why not?
I would like to offer to You all a complicated love story. This will be long, so prepare yourself.
Over 20 years ago I (than F13) have met a boy (than M15). A boy diffrent than everybody else. And since I also have been considering myself "diffrent", we went along for some time. We lived in the same neighborhood and went to the same school. Unfortunately we've had a fight and lost contact when he finished school. He later tried multiple times to contact me, but I ignored his SMSs, strongly advised by my mother to do so. She didn't like that boy, but never ever told me why.
After two years (me 16, he 18) he sent me SMS so intriguing, that I answered. That caused us to start bonding, sending messeges, later meeting again in person. Few months later he confessed, that he falled in love with me. As very prudent and reasonable girl I thanked him and informed him, that I need to think this trough. But my heart was beating very fast that day. When at evening I told about his confession to my mum, she wasn't happy. She warned me, that boy "only think about one thing". I was very disappointed about her reaction.
Two days later I confessed my love to the boy and we became couple. I was just starting same high school that he went to, so we automaticly became highschool sweathearts. It lasted for... a month.
One day he came to me, visibly distressed, and told me that his father find out about our relationship and was mad. As well as my mother he didn't thought I was good for his son. Reason? Honestly I've no idea. But if anyone is starting to guess, that maybe me and boy where halfsiblings - absolutely not. When we where born our parents haven't know each other yet.
My boyfriend father demanded he brake up with me. Of course the boy didn't want to, but there was some kind of threat from the father and he broke. I felt numb after this situation. He wasn't able to look at me, when we were meeting on schoold corridors and our little town sidewalks. Two young broken hearts and lost hopes - for a month of happiness.
With end of school year he finished high school and went to collage, but still lived with his parents and I saw him from time to time. And again, we haven't spoke for about two years.
We (me 19, he 21) renewed contact when I was about to finish high school and planed to go to collage in same city than he. We were both single at that time and still liked to talked with each other, but we were afraid about our parents reaction if we'll start dating again. So we creatively chose different type of realationship - the kind that has "benefits" ;)
After some months of being friends and meeting from time to time, at one of our, well, dates he suddenly became serious and said: I don't want to be like this anymore, I still love you and want you to be my girfriend. And, well, I agreed immediately. But, of course, we havent't told our parents.
It wasn't the same as first time. My trust for lasting of our relationship (actually - any romantic relationship) was destroyed after first time. He, on the other hand, was still very much afraid of his father. And it turned out, we were both right to fear. It took only about 1,5 of a month for his father to find out. And again, one day my boyfriend came to me crying, that he has to chose between me and roof over his head (and he wasn't working during studies, only on summer break, so he had no his own money). At first he was determined to fight, but after thinking this trough he eventually broke up with me again. It was very hard for me too. Unfortunetly I had no one to turn to. My parents cared only if I'm doing good on studies, nothing more.
Hurt caused by my situation led me to thinking that I don't need a man in my life, because it's too painful. Few years later I strongly decided to never get married, even if any man will became important in my life.
Did I forget my double exboyfriend? Of course not. And he did not forget me. We even exchanged online messeges from time to time. Later we find out that after second break up we both thought that one day in the future - very distant future - if we meet, than we probably will again try to be together. Maybe even if we would be in relationships with other people. There was still fire between us that nevet got chance to burn out.
Well, our meeting again happend sooner than we expected. And again we started some kind of loose relationship with benefits. It was hard. My trust and his hope were broken by previous events, not only those regarding us together. And, again, after few months he told me he can't do this and he want's us to be in real, official relationship. And I agreed, but didn't expect much. I must confess, I was very much bitter at that time and probably also during a heavy depression episode, which wasn't diagnosed nor treated.
However my (than 21) boyfriend for the third time (than 23) wasn't boy anymore. He grown up to be a stronger and determined to not repeat scheme that happened twice before. He became to create a plan and quickly tried to convince me to it.
That plan was actually quite simple: we have to get married. If we get married, no one will tell us to break up. (Divorce procedure ist very hard in our country and at the same time getting divorce it is still outrageous from the point of view of society.)
Remember, that I decided to never get married? Well, it took him few weeks to convince me. In the end we got engaged after 2,5 months of relationship. The wedding was suposed to happend after he came back from trip abroad, where he was going to work.
My parents weren't happy, but went along. They only demanded that we make traditional wedding party and invite our relatives. We didn't want to have such party, but since they insisted, we agreed.
His mother was very happy. She from the very first time we were together thought we are made for each other, but her husband had the final say at home.
And he, that's my fiancé's father, was obviously not happy. He was angry. And, again, he tried to force his son to brake up. But this time the son chose to move out from parents house instead. He lived at students' hotel for some time, and after that gone abroad to work, as planned.
After he returned we started to live together. While we were studying, my parents took care of planning the wedding as they wanted, from time to time consulting with us some of detailes. Meanwhile my fiance's father was trying to provoke us or my parents to end our relationships. Fiance's mother only tried to convince us to take wedding in church, but we never agreed, because it was against ours believes.
You may think that my parents planning wedding for me were at least fine with the situation. They were not. Even in last week before wedding my mother was at the same day helping me buy a vail and convincing me, that I can back out of wedding even the day before and it will be ok. And she never explained why in her opinion it was such a bad idea to marry this man...
Finally the wedding happend and we became husband (age 25) and wife (age 23). Party was very nice, and we were very happy. My husband was right - no one ever told us to get divorce and our relationship became finally accepted as a fact.
My FIL only dared to say, that we won't last a year. Well, we did. We'll have our 13th anniversary soon and our marriage is better than ever. Meanwhile FIL divorced his wife of 30 years (my MIL), got married again few years later, started another divorced procedure after only 3 months of marriage, which he never finished because... he died before turning retirement age, after he made his whole family, including his mother and all children, his enemies. He never apologised for his actions.
My parents became good friends with my husband. He turned out to be quite likeble man. Who could knew? They also never apologised nor explained, what was so wrong in this man from their point of view.
​
At the end I would like to share with you some of my thoughts, that I have years after all this happened.
First of all - we were back than just poor college students, with no job, still living with parents. But the urge to keep us together this time was so strong, that it didn't matter. I still find myself very suprised everytime when a couple waits with wedding, because they're waiting for something: ending studies, having stable job, buying home, etc. My and many other examples I know shows, that those things are not needed to start marriage.
And now let me tell you, that I often think, that if only our parents weren't so much against this relationship, there is huge possibility that we would be together for some time... and than we would see whatever our parents have seen. What might have ended our relationship in natural way and we might never look back. And not be toghether today. But, I guess, we'll never know.
However I'm quite happy whith how things are now.
I wish You all lots of love. We all need it.

So for the past two weeks I have had an old friend, a coworker and my grandma all trapped in my mind trying to get me to open up about my past but it’s not working I just don’t trust it is truly what I should be doing . These people have a past of being sly and manipulative and my past conversations with them in my thoughts have been turmoil to say the least. They have started to use complex reverse psychology to get me to trick my overthinking mind into believing that they are not there and get upset when I see there plan. Example My grandma and I have had horrible past week speaking to each other very disrespectful on my end how I communicate with her but it feels like they just want to see what my horrible past looks like to get information out of me for they’re own benefit( hopefully that’s not the case but my intuition keeps it around ) Today i spoke to her over the phone and they didint bring anything up and acted like everything was okay but my brother who gave me the phone said something very sly at the end that made me ponder “ I hope that awnsers you’re question “ in Whitch I questioned this mentally and they immediately were upset by me thinking about this Whitch gave it up
I wish they could have been honest about this and reached out to me without trying to lie to me I think this could have been better
But hopefully anyone has any useful information or tricks to get people out of you’re mind and let them go
Ps Im very isolated no friends no hobby’s nothing to take my mind off of my mind and thoughts crawling in they’re so I think my focus lands on them and can’t stop lending a ear to the mental friends. So hopefully it’s just a focus thing and not something I need to do like a energetic cord cutting or something like that

The fangs of the problem
There is a very interesting thought experiment. It's about a ship that has been at sea for hundreds of years, and in order to repair it always has to get parts changed, such as decks or masts. If one day all the parts on the ship were changed over, would the ship still be the same?
There are many interesting extensions to this question, such as the idea that people can't cross the same river, such as is a band whose entire crew has been replaced still the same band? The essence of all variants of the question remains the same: how do we recognize the sameness of the object of change. That is to say: in the midst of constant change, how can we be sure that the object is still the same after the change?
Let's take an example: Cells in the human body die and are renewed every moment, and every few months the cells of the whole body are replaced. Will I still be “me” after a few months? Or, for example, is a band that has had all its members replaced still the same band?
Many philosophers have answered this question, and the ideas on which they answered it varied greatly, and there were even many opposing answers. This article is not intended to be a profound exposition of each answer, but simply to take you on a journey through how the age-old philosophical question was given new life in Attack on Titan.
In May 1989, Masaru Shiso began serializing Attack on Titan. The manga portrays a future with a slightly grayish tone, where people can become more like terminals by modifying their brains so that they can connect directly to the Internet. At the same time, prosthetic technology is advancing at a rapid pace, allowing people to replace any part of their body.
This is where we get a glimpse of the Ship of Theseus. If all of a person's parts were gradually replaced, would they still be the same person? More broadly, one could ask this:
If all of a person's body parts are gradually replaced with machines, is he a human or a robot?
The reality is that a person who has a prosthetic leg replaced because of a broken arm will undoubtedly not lose his identity as a human being just because he has a prosthetic leg. Nor would we call a robot human just because it had a hand attached to it.
But what happens if this replacement continues?
Use this process to push the limits. Replace all his muscles and organs with machines, and in the end keep only his brain, would he still be human?
Some would say that the brain, as well as the soul, is the mark of what makes a human being human, and that intelligence distinguishes us from beasts. Let's switch this corollary around a bit, if a person replaces the hippocampus in his brain due to an accident, is he still intact as a human being? Is he more like a human or a robot at this point?
Or maybe we create a chip that mimics human consciousness. We replicate the consciousness of a brain-injured dying man and use it to manipulate the dead man's physical body, so is he a human or a computer at this point?
By this time, the Ship of Theseus problem has begun to show its hideous fangs; there is nothing sacred about man and there is nothing nightmarishly special about machines.
It denies the uniqueness of human beings, that there is not much difference between us and our creations, that organic matter is not much more noble than inorganic matter. The fragility of the concept of “man” begins to be exposed, and we wonder: what makes a man a man?
At this point, in order to save the precarious “human being”, in order to ensure the nobility of the human being, we must turn to a more sublime force. That is the soul.
​
Let's take the ship of Theseus from the beginning of the article and row it here.
At this point in time, after a long voyage and repairs, we have replaced all the planks of the original ship A, and we have used the replaced planks to build ship B. So which ship is the original “ship of Theseus”?
One answer is that it is undoubtedly A, because A has something higher than matter, something that we can refer to as “soul”, which defines A and does not change with the change of the object. To extend this answer, “I” will still be “I” a few months from now, because “I” have an indestructible soul.
However, the concept of souls seems to be the same as that of God; it seems that we have carved out a place for them in our minds, and they can only exist in our minds. We can't prove it exists, nor can we prove it doesn't exist. It's like ghosts: we've heard of them, but we've never seen them.
The “soul theory” obviously doesn't hold up to scrutiny, but there are better answers to the problem of the Ship of Theseus, such as the “space-time theory”. This theory says that we should take into account the spatio-temporal continuity of things that change, and that if a changing object has spatio-temporal continuity, then that object is the original object. As long as a person is continuous in the process of change, then he is the same person, even if his cells are newborn and die, or change limbs.
The “space-time theory” is obviously not as easy to understand as the “soul theory”. If we were to make a movie about the ship of Theseus, the smart thing to do would be to choose the “soul theory” over the “space-time theory”.
Attack on Titan also adopts the “soul theory”. What is the advantage of this? It brings the audience into the narrative very quickly. In real life, we all understand that the soul is a theological concept. And it's such a distinct concept that it saves the movie from having to explain the background and devotes the limited time it has to characterization and the main narrative.
The protagonist works for Public Security Section 9 to track down a hacker who has invaded the human brain. The hacker has invaded the human brain and turned normal people into puppets by manipulating their memories, when the human “soul” does not help them retain their free will.
As the protagonist and others pursue the hacker, they discover that the hacker himself is a robot. As he evades capture, he continues to think about life and death. The fact that the machine cannot nurture a “soul” does not prevent him from becoming a self-thinking human being.
A sharp contrast emerges: the self-proclaimed noble human being is manipulated, loses his freedom, and becomes more like a robot. The demeaned robot, on the other hand, begins to think nobly, and perhaps it is thinking that defines his existence.
This also provokes the protagonist to think: what defines us, what makes a human being human?
What does a successful commercial movie look like? I think first of all, the box office is high enough, and at the same time it can leave something worth remembering.
If something is too profound, the director has to be careful, the audience will probably not understand it, and only a small part of them can appreciate it. If something is too frivolous, the audience will have to scold you for treating people like retards.
Both give those who want to relax a space to hide for a while, and at the same time allow those who want to think to find interesting points. When the show breaks up and the audience lines up to exit, there are still two people who will unconsciously wonder: what makes people human?
Maybe the movie will have served its purpose.
​

Two staff who JUST met me have alluded to it in a room full of students (thanks 🙄). A few students also suspect it too and ask probing questions trying to see if I react.
Essentially what it is, is that my tutor who is only about 35 (I’m 24 postgrad) seemed to have a crush on me. Conversationally we have a natural chemistry and we obviously think in a similar way. I think there might have been a few moments but I’ve never seen him outside class. He invited me to come back after class a few times in the first term when we just met. I declined at the time because I felt that it could go somewhere and I didn’t want it to happen. I think that could have been what started the rumour.
At times when he had to give formal feedback he was struggling to be “harsh” like he is with the others. One teacher noticed and accused me of getting him to do my work for me (obviously later it became obvious that I do my own work). I do think he has a crush on me and is confused about his feelings (he’s in a long term relationship).
We had a very brief and subtle falling out for two weeks. I think he felt that I was giving mixed signals and was hurt over it and he refused to print stuff for me after he said he would 6 times over three weeks. So I called him out in class, he tried to be snarky and said “well there’s nothing stopping you from printing?”, then he noticed I was mad and he made up an excuse that there had been print queues. I said if that if that was the reason then he should have told me. He was about to start denying but stopped mid sentence and had to leave the room for a few moments to calm down. I could tell he was sorry when we had our 1:1 time in class, but I felt it was necessary for me to be harsh because he was basically acting on his feelings instead of doing his job.
I think he had a few ego moments since then and I don’t like him so much anymore because I feel he’s not being subtle and he’s fuelling the rumour. But he hasn’t done anything hugely inappropriate yet. Generally he seems happy to see me. When I enter class he tends to look at me more than the others, he’s more helpful and much kore complimentary and smiley with me. There’s another tutor (female) in her 50s who likes to act like she’s best friends with him and other staff. She’s kind of awful at times and was laughing at student’s work during the assessment presentations and she noticed he was totally ignoring it because I was sitting on the other side of him.
The whole thing is confusing because technically nothing has happened. I can tell he likes me (a lot of tiny things I noticed, like he’s definitely lurking on my Twitter), and I think if we hadn’t met in this context then I might have liked him back. But the snarky comments from the new teacher last week who had JUST met me really pissed me off. She saw something I had designed and immediately asked if he had done it for me. Bare in mind this was in an elective class that has nothing to do with his area, and he wasn’t in the room let alone in the building. Not only is it insulting implying that I didn’t do my own work (I’m actually the talent scholar so of course I have decent skills!) but I feel like I’m being judged for his behaviour.
He’s kind of… the “cute” teacher on campus. He’s one of the few male staff who aren’t gay I guess and he’s on the younger side. He’s only been at the school for a year and he doesn’t seem like the type to go after students. I don’t see him act like this with other people. I wonder if they have a reason to suspect him already or if the rumour is just going around about me (I stick out at the school for other reasons and maybe that’s just also adding fuel to the rumour). Idk tbh.

I will be a college freshman this fall semester. I'm pretty torn in regards to what major to pick. I plan to go into agriculture after spending some years working and saving money, so whatever I pick likely won't be a forever job.
The options that I am currently considering are Environmental, soil and water sciences, and Environmental engineering. I am torn between the two, as I think that Environmental engineering would provide better job security as I will be living in WV, which has a lucrative mining industry. Correct me if I am wrong, but I also thought that engineering still allows people to work non engineering jobs, but non engineering degrees don't allow the inverse.
I am interested in mine reclamation and environmental protection, however, I enjoy hands on work more than desk work. Additionally, I have more of an interest in biology, ecology, and chemistry than of a lot of engineering subjects and would like to spend more time outdoors and studying soil, water and wildlife than handling municipal waste.
As a side note: I have considered chemical engineering, as it allows even more flexibility in the job market. Would there be any way to enter the environmental field with this degree?
Would an Environmental engineering degree allow me to work in the environmental field, doing anything other than engineering and waste treatment? Or would a more biological sciences degree open doors to more jobs in what I'm looking for?
http://catalog.wvu.edu/undergraduate/daviscollegeofagriculturenaturalresourcesanddesign/divisionofanimalandnutritionalsciences/esws/#majortext
http://catalog.wvu.edu/undergraduate/collegeofengineeringandmineralresources/departmentofcivilandenvironmental/enve/#majortext

This is the prologue and first chapter of a superhero story I've had in my head for a pretty good while. Regarding criticism, any mistakes you find are definitely something worth telling me. Also, if you need me to critique your work, just send it to me and I'll be happy to take a look at it the first chance I get, which is usually very soon. With that in mind, here is a short excerpt:
Before further bickering could ensue, the twins heard sounds of yelling coming from inside of a dirty, stinky alley up ahead. They both looked in to find 2 people towards the end of it. The first appeared to be a tall man wearing a black hoodie and jeans, with a gray ski mask covering his face, and he appeared to be grabbing onto the red shirt of a young adult man with a brown goatee and a white and blue baseball cap, pinning him against the wall by his shirt.
“...I said to give me everything!” The first man said with a gruff sounding voice, pointing a handgun to the second man’s forehead.
“No! P-please! I-I don’t have anything of value on me!” The second man responded, clearly fearing for his life.
The masked man had his back turned to the section of the alley Alexis and Elias were standing, so, without really thinking about what they were about to do, only acknowledging the danger the second man was in, the two decided to quietly sneak up and jump the robber. They had almost reached their destination when one of the many bags of trash overflowing out of the dumpster next to the them fell off of the stack, making a loud assortment of noises as cans, plastic bottles, cardboard, and the like spilled out onto the concrete, causing his head to turn towards the commotion.
“This doesn’t concern you kids, now scram.” The hooded man sighed, not letting go of his victim.
The twins stood there motionless, looking at each other, then at the armed mugger, trying to figure out what to do now that they had been spotted.
“I said scram.” the man said again, this time removing his gun from his victim’s forehead and pointing it in the direction of the twins.
The twins stood there frozen with fear for their lives, now putting their hands behind their heads before slowly beginning to step away from the scene before them. The man with the gun began turning back towards his first target before turning around, then suddenly pointing his gun at Elias and pulling the trigger. A loud bang suddenly occurred and a bullet began flying out of the barrel of the gun, speeding towards Elias. Neither him nor his sister had any time to react to this, yet he flinched and put his arms in front of him out of reflex, only to find that the bullet appeared to be long gone by the time he did this. His sister looked over, expecting a bloody hole in her brother’s chest, only to be met with not just the opposite of that, but something that could only be described as supernatural. Elias looked at the man, who had what could be considered to be the biggest look of surprise ever seen on a person’s face, then at his sister, whose previously fear and panic filled expression turned to one of shock. Elias looked around for the bullet, and noticed a curiously tiny pile of ash on the ground near his feet. He looked around and noticed that everything all around him looked to have a greenish hue, the air feeling noticeably warmer around him as well, a fact which only increased the confusion of the situation between him and his sister. The mugger, his hand now shaking, fired his gun 3 more times and it was then when all 4 parties present (the mugger’s victim was also observing this whole ordeal from the pavement) got to witness the bullets near instantaneously disintegrate into ash, each grain of said ash falling around the previous mound. The mugger, now with an expression of fear at the seemingly supernatural sight before him, attempted to fire again, however, his gun only made a clicking sound, signaling the depletion of its magazine. Alexis saw this as an opening, and snapped out of her mesmerization at her brother’s almost divine escape from the jaws of death. She ran up to the mugger before punching him square in the face, except, just before fist made contact with face, some kind of flaring green energy wrapped itself around her fist, seeming to increase the power of the attack. The impact caused the man to slam full force into the brick wall of the alley before he fell head first onto the ground, knocking him unconscious. Alexis looked down, enraptured at the sight of both of her hands, which were now glowing with the aforementioned energy, she then looked up at the other still-conscious man, whose eyes were wide with (both astonishment and horror) at what he had just witnessed. He looked back over at his attacker on the ground before quickly scrambling onto his feet and sprinting out of the alley. Suddenly, the green energy field around her brother nearly instantly dissipated, and he began falling forwards on the ground. Alexis caught him before he made contact with the pavement, however.
“…Okay…WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL JUST HAPPENED?!” Alexis eventually said after a period of silence, helping her brother back onto his feet.
“…I…I’m not…sure…” Elias responded, evidently exhausted. “…But I’m feeling really tired…and I’m not sure why…”
As the two began processing what had just happened, they heard a faint clicking sound emanating from somewhere close behind them, they turned around to find that the source of the sound was a dirty Geiger Counter that had evidently fallen out of one of the trash bags that had spilled earlier. They walked closer to it, and the clicks grew moderately close together. The twins looked at each other, confused by this mysterious happening, before Alexis eventually spoke.
“We’re not telling dad about this, are we?”
“Oh hell no.”

pls lmk if I should post in the ait(a) subreddit. I read the rules and don’t think my situation could apply
I (22f) have been working at this retail job for more than 2 years now and in the beginning I met 2 girls, Abby(23f) and jasmine (21f). I grew really close to Abby, we have similar personalities and we get along really well. On the other hand, when I met jasmine , there was just somethinggggggg in me like a gut feeling giving me a red flag. I just didn’t like her. I had no reason not to, and to this day I don’t have a valid reason to as she was kind to me. Like I’m losing the words to type with because I genuinely do not know what it is about her, maybe our personalities just don’t mesh??? I just feel annoyed when we’re together. I’m very kind to her and we joke around but we don’t text or talk at all unless it’s with abby. And I’ve prayed about it ever since I met her and asked for conviction to see if I’m just being a mean girl but idk.
Anyways, jasmine left our job about a year after I started and the three of us hang out probably once every other month bc our schedules are so busy, but abby and I still work there and have hung out at least once a week. I really don’t know jasmine all that well but abby and Jasmine are close as they have similar interest and hobbies. In MY eyes, jasmine and I have not moved past the “work friend” phase.
Fast forward to a few months ago, jasmine is getting engaged to her then boyfriend (now fiancée m22) and abby and I weren’t planning on staying long as we drove pretty far to a small town and wanted to get home before dark bc the town had virtually no streetlights. We were there for about two hours (one hour was us anticipating jasmines arrival bc it was a surprise proposal) and jasmine’s boyfriend said to wait until the food gets here, we said that’s fine. Food gets here and I’m really not in the mood to eat, her boyfriend sees nothing in front of me and says “if you’re not gonna eat why’d you bother coming” in I think a playful way but he didn’t laugh as he said it and it rubbed me the wrong way entirely. I sassily said back, “I came to celebrate you guys, not get a free plate of food”. I left that event with a really sour taste in my mouth (no pun intended lol).
Jasmine and her fiancée are a little iffy, they don’t really know the boundaries between a joke about race (I’m black) and something offensive. They’re Hispanic fyi. The only example I’ll leave you with is one day all four of us hung out and they “gifted” me a book about a runaway slave. I have mentioned I love history but…. Idk. It just feels like anytime they see a black person, a joke is directed at me.
I’ll end with this. Jasmine always mentions how Abby and I are her life long friends and I always feel awkward and shake my head yes when she says that but I still only see her as a girl I met at work and I don’t really want to continue being friends. Is it mean for not wanting to be friends with Jasmine anymore?
*For more context as to why I haven’t brought this up to her before: There used to be two other girls in our work friend group. Everything was fine for maybe three months and all of a sudden the two girls were incredibly rude to both Abby and Jasmine, but mostly Jasmine. Just like shady, high school mean girl side eyes and unfollowing socials etc. I obviously was on the side of Abby and Jasmine because they didn’t do a single thing to those girls, and the other two girls quit and ghosted us. I didn’t say anything sooner bc I feared Abby and Jasmine would think I was on the other girls’ side the entire time, when really, I had this feeling about Jasmine since the moment I met her.
I have never ranted like this before so sorry if there are some inconsistencies, I would really like to hear other peoples viewpoint from an outside perspective. Thanks!

I’m 34 years old. My best friend, Adam, who is the same age as me and who I have been friends with since we were 6, married his girlfriend in 2019 after two years of dating. Her name is Andrea. During these two years of dating I was living in a different city so I didn’t really get the chance to meet her before the wedding.
At first my relationship with her was cordial, she was nice to me. However, as time passed and she got more comfortable with our group she started showing her true colors and I realized she’s a toxic and mean person, who talks trash about every single person she knows. One of her favorite things to do when we hang out is to go on Instagram and say mean things about people, such as “X has gotten so fat/skinny” or “that dress X is wearing is hideous” and so on. I have never liked this part, and my friend, who is madly in love with her, is completely oblivious of this and sometimes goes as far as joining her on her hateful attitude. I never felt comfortable near her either because every time I made any comment about any topic she would question it or criticize it. My opinions didn’t matter and she always decided that she had the truth in her hands. Because of this, my relationship with Adam has changed and I almost never hang out with him anymore because I don’t want to deal with his toxic wife.
She never has anything positive to say about anything. One time I was talking to her telling her that I had applied to a new job because I wasn’t happy with my current one and she straight up told me, and I quote: “You’re never gonna get a call from anywhere because you want to leave that job too badly, and when you want things so badly they never end up happening”. Another time a friend of ours told Adam that she was planning on taking her parents to the community pool to spend the day, and she rudely interrupted their conversation saying “Ew, pools are gross”. She’s also a hypocrite; she’s a psychologist but has never worked with her degree and all she does is share stories on Instagram about mental health and how the world would be better if we were all just more empathetic towards each other. There’s also many other stories of hurtful things she’s said to me and other people that I won’t mention for the sake of not making this longer than it already is.
My entire team at work, including me, got laid off a few months ago so I decided to move to another city where my family lives to start a new life. I was planning on doing it at some point anyway. I missed my family and I love this new city, and I was having a bad time in the previous one so I decided to give myself a chance for a change. There’s a couple of mutual friends, George and Erika, who have lived in this new city for years so I’m happy to have them closer as well.
So a month ago I was traveling and Adam and Andrea happened to come to visit George and Erika while I wasn’t here. When I returned, George and Erika asked me to go to their house because they wanted to tell me something. When I went, they told me that while they were there, Adam and Andrea spent the entire time talking trash about me, saying that I was a loser, a coward, and a crybaby. That I was “running away from my problems” because I got fired and instead of facing it like a man I just escaped. Adam even went as far as saying that I make him cringe with my attitude because it reminds him of a little boy hiding behind his mom when things go bad. I’m trying to change industries and Adam said that it was stupid of me to think that I could make it in that business because I have no contacts there, which is something that I have been actively working on for months and that is no longer true.
I know George and Erika very well and they’re not the type of people who would make up stuff or exaggerate things. They wouldn’t even benefit from it, so I completely believe what they told me. Andrea told them “as a psychologist I can assure you that he’s [me] obviously going through a major depression and this could end in a tragedy”. Erika decided to defend me and counter every one of her arguments and told her that is not true, and when Andrea saw that Erika got defensive she said “I only say this because I’m worried about him”, but this is bullshit because she has never ever reached out to me to ask me if I’m doing well or not. I know her comments come from hate, not worry. George and Erika admitted they weren’t sure if they should tell me what Adam and Andrea said because they didn’t want to damage our relationship anymore but they felt it was the right thing to let me know what was happening, which I’m very grateful for.
So here’s my problem. I love Adam, that guy is like my brother. I have so many fond memories growing up with him. We went to school together. He knows me better than most and has been there for me during some tough times. He’s like family when he comes to my house, my parents and siblings love him like one more of the family. He has inevitably gotten influenced by his wife’s toxicity and I still have a hard time believing that he would say such rude and mean things about me during a difficult time in my life. Losing a job and changing cities simultaneously really does take a toll on you, and at the moment where I need the most support he’s been the first one to kick me down, and behind my back to make it worse.
He doesn’t know that I know. He texts me and tries to talk to me as if nothing has happened, but I’ve obviously changed and barely respond to him. I can’t simply ignore him because I know that I will eventually have to have this conversation with him, and I know that after it nothing will be the same. I don’t expect him to choose me over his wife, that’s something he shouldn’t do. I also don’t know how I will deal with the fact that when I tell him that I know everything they said, I will intrinsically throw George and Erika under the bus because that will mean they snitched on them by telling me everything. George and Erika are also pissed at them but I don’t want their relationship to be damaged because of this.
If I’m completely honest, deep down, I don’t want to cut Adam off completely. I’m willing to forgive him (after telling him everything and if he apologizes, of course) but I don’t want to deal with Andrea ever again in my life.
What should I do? How should I go around this?

Hi Charlotte! If this does appear in one of your videos, I just want to say that I really admire your content, it uplifts my day and you really make me laugh. I love being apart of the Petty Express and I looooove listening to people spill tea while I lurk in the shadows, so here's some tea of my own to spill.
First off: If any of my friends are on reddit and they see this... hi. :) I love you guys~
I (19F) turn 20 in three weeks and I'm pretty damn stoked about it because it will be my first birthday while I'm going to college that I'm celebrating with an actual group of friends that I love and adore.
Flashback to pre-middle school in 5th grade when I was in public school (before COVID era), I had a different small group of friends that I was apart of. We were a group of people who have been in the same classes for years, and I got along with everyone as the anchor of the crew. Everyone in that group liked to tell me everything because I was really good at keeping secrets, so of course I knew all the tea on everyone there.
During 5th grade I had a crush on this boy (let's call him Kay) that has been in our class since 3rd grade, and we had finally ended up in the same music class together (I played violin and he played the cello). Needless to say, I was super nervous but also excited to be around this guy, because you know how pre-middle school crushes are, and my friends always teased me about it lightheartedly. Sadly, at the end of our 5th grade year, at our elementary graduation, that was the last time I actively got to see him before he moved back to Ukraine. I am still wishing him well wherever he is.
Well, as it turns out, that year in 5th grade there was another girl (let's name her Sierra) who had just transferred to the school. She was nice... At first, but she seemed to have it out for me for some reason. I think it was because she had the same crush I did. Kay was the boy in our class who did the most, like he did gymnastics, played cello, did arts and crafts, sang and stayed for afterschool clubs and activities with our group. Needless to say, a lot of girls in our grade liked him after about a year in. Sierra always seemed jealous of me being so close to Kay. She would always see us playing kickball together or be in the garden together to watch the mint leaves grow. At that time we were just really good friends who liked each other. She would do little things to try and tear him away, like purposefully pick me and her to be team captains and she would pick Kay before I could, not that I minded at the time, and make him play against me.
One time in afterschool, me and Kay were in the arts and crafts class together while I was waiting for my sewing instructor to arrive so we could finish the apron my class was working on together. I was holding pipe cleaners for him while he was gluing them together and we were talking. It was one of those moments were we were super close and it was like something out of a romance comedy. He was staring at me and suddenly said, "You know, you really mean a lot to me." (This became a core memory of what could've been, I still remember those sweet words to this day).
I obviously was choking on the butterflies that were in my stomach and, me being the total idiot that I was, responded with "...What do you mean by that?" Needless to say I did make it awkward, but he laughed, so it was all good. What I failed to notice, however, was that Sierra had entered the cafeteria where we were working at and overheard Kay share that line with me, and she was furious. She practically stomped over to us both, put on a sweet smile and said, "Cami, your instructor for sewing is here! I wish you luck on not pricking your finger." And basically shoved me aside to talk to Kay. I didn't mind it so much, but when I told one of my best friends at the time, we'll call her Anise, she basically said that Sierra was blowing me off to have Kay all to herself.
Small little things like that went on for the entire 5th grade year, all the way up to the last week before graduation, and on the last day of school Sierra came up to me and started chatting. She kept saying how much fun she had this year, and was happy to get to know me and my group, blah blah blah, but then she said something that made my heart drop to my feet.
"OH, by the way, Kay is moving back to Ukraine for 6th grade, and he's not going to stick around long for the graduation because his mom has to leave for another job."
Obviously she could tell I was a little hurt by that, and so could my friends. They encouraged me to go tell Kay right before he leaves, so I could at least have that to rub into Sierra's face, the fact that I would've confessed before she did so she'd never get a chance to before he was gone. I never did it though because I was too shy. The day of graduation, I waved to him, he waves to me and that was the last time I ever saw him. After the gym ceremony however, Sierra still seemed upset, so of course she started mocking my wave to her sisters before she told me that if I was too shy to try and get someone like Kay now, I'd never be able to land anyone in the future.
Thankfully, she moved away that year as well, so I no longer had to deal with her subtle jabs at me, and the years leading up to 8th grade, went better than I expected.
Now, you may be wondering why this super long story is tagged as "petty revenge." I'd just like to say that, even if she's not in my life anymore, I still wanted to post this to prove her wrong about that last sentence she said to me.
Flash forward to the present. It is nearing the end of my first year at Community College and I am having a blast. Since the second semester started about 4 months ago, I instantly made new friends in my favorite class of all time, Anime History. I made friends with four people, we'll call them Sunday (20FTM), Marci(20FTM), Barrie(22F) and Belle(20F).
Recently, I have developed another crush on someone, and it just so happened to be none other than Sunday, the soul cosplayer of our group. I noticed it about three months after we became a group of friends and as soon as I pieced it together, I ran to go tell Marci (who is now my bestie for life).
In a shocking twist of events, after I told Marci, we all had a group discussion about my crush on Sunday without him being in the room, and it got crazy. As it turns out, Sunday is actually liked by almost everyone in our circle (no surprise), and it turns out that all three of us; Me, Marci and Belle, all had/still have a crush on him. Marci and Belle told me that Sunday is a bit dense and they've told him before that they've had crushes on him, as well as two guys that I don't really know have a crush on him as well, since they were in 7th grade together. When Sunday was told that, he just laughed it off and took it as a joke, and Marci has said that they're stuck in a situation ship at this point.
I was shocked to hear that Sunday had apparently hooked up with all of them at one point and we're all in a strange limbo between "are we really good friends? Or are we ever going to be in a relationship?" I originally thought my friends were joking about being situational couples, but I GUESS IT WASNT A JOKE. Anyway, I brought up the topic about all four of us just being one big polyship at one point as a joke, and of course we took it half serious. I told them that in 5 years, if we have not all found suitable partners outside of Sunday to date, then we're all dating each other, no exceptions... And they agreed.
All this to say, that I know that if I don't find someone of my own in the future after about 10 years of being alone, I know that I have 4 people I can pull close to be in a relationship in. No strings attached.
In your face Sierra, after 8 years of feeling shame for being alone like you said, I snagged three other people that I will love until the day they put me in the ground with my manga collection.
Thank you for listening to me spilling my tea, this is only my second ever reddit post and I've been needing to tell this story for a while lol. <3
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As Nogambling and Ribstealer screwed around on the large deep slate platform that sat around 128 blocks in the sky, Rain sighed for probably the 5th time that day and turned around.
“I thought you guys were helping me with this.”
The mob farm Rain was currently building was one of their biggest solo projects ever and they wanted it over with. Nogambling and Ribstealer, two other newer members they had met and allied with on their second day, had offered to help, but they seemed to be more focused on trying to kill each other. Rain huffed in their annoyance as they watched the two, trying their best to focus on the project. At least no one was trying to kill them or take their stuff, like what had happened on the last server. They would be able to build without having to worry about being griefed, since there were ruleshere about taking things from other players.
“Most people theire mind their business,” Orangejuice had told them when they’d first arrived. He’d given them access to a special storage area, which was protected with a barrier that prevented it from being destroyed or stolen from. They’d figured out that They could create their own barrier to protect their land as well, and they’d been mostly left alone except for the other two Criminals, who stopped by sometimes. They’d spent most of their time grinding for materials and had even found a nice place to live in a ravine. But now, they needed a Fortune Pick, and that would require a few levels of experience points.
Building a mob farm of their own would be the best way to get XP, since they weren’t equipped enough to go to the Enderman farm and the only other mob grinder on the server didn’t work, plus they also wanted to become rich enough to buy some cocaine from Walmart. They’d worked on it most of the day before, finishing a bubble elevator, and today they were starting to build the farm itself. Luckily they were doing well so far.
“I’ll be able to put that shitshow of a first day behind me,” they thought, as Nogambling and RibStealer continued to cause chaos behind them.
Speaking of the first day, that voice of “God” hadn’t gone away, and it turned out that they weren’t the only one who could hear it, eittheir.
“YO ITS ME GOD,” said the booming voice in the sky, almost as if it knew they were thinking about it. “MY SON JESUS TOLD ME A FEW THINGS”
“Wassup god,” Nogambling greeted, “What my brobro tell you?”
“HE FOUND ONLY FANS. I DID NOT CREATE HUMANITY FOR THIS.”
“I don’t know, I’m on there but nobody cares. They only care about the girls.”
“Oh hell naw,” Rain said as they built a dirt tower up to the top of the partly-finished mob grinder, carrying a couple of stacks of deepslate and at least 9 buckets of water in their inventory.
Their conversation with god was interrupted by the sound of water splashing. A heavily armored figure came out of the top of the bubble elevator that led up to the platform. The person, Orangejuice, looked at all of them like they were insane, except for RibStealer, who didn’t seem to care that god was talking and was stumbling around, probably slightly sleep deprived.
“Are you guys schitzo or something?” Orange asked, folding his arms.
“Yes uwu,” Nogambling said in response to the first question. The richer player looked like he was about to strangle the other. Instead, he just rolled his eyes.
“Real. But seriously who are you talking to?”
“God, you idiot,” Rain deadpanned. Unfortunately, god was still around to hear them say that, and he did not take it lightly. Only a few moments later, a large lightning bolt came out of the sky, directly striking them.
-Thou hath been smitten!-
Rain saw nothing but white for a few seconds, and nearly fell off the top of their build. Luckily, the bolt didn’t kill them, but they had to take a few moments to recollect themself.
“What did you just call me?”
“I wasn’t even talking to you,” Rain snapped into the sky, shaking off the slight pain of being electrocuted like it was nothing more than a normal day. They huffed in annoyance before pulling out more deepslate and continuing to build like nothing had happened. Nogambling laughed at them from below, and they glared at him.
“I’m going to kill you and bury your body in the middle of Auschwitz,” they threatened him, and sighed.
This was going to be a long Wednesday.