How do i prepare my daughter for college life and leaving home

I just moved to a new state for an internship and I’m trying to furnish my room. As a young college student (19F) I don’t really have an excess of money to spend so I went to a discount store nearby in search of furniture. Upon walking in my eyes were immediately drawn to this bright orange desk chair in great condition for only $10! I quickly fell in love so I grabbed the chair and pushed it around with me as I looked for other things.
At one point an employee pulled me aside and told me to “keep an eye on the chair cause someone might try and snag it.” I assumed she was joking so I laughed and moved on. I did make the mistake of leaving the chair unattended while looking at some of the extra discounted items, but when I returned I saw the same employee MOVING the chair! I ran up to confront her and she said she was “just moving it out of the way” (the chair was tucked in a corner, NOT IN THE WAY). I laughed it off and passive aggressively thanked her before making sure the chair was in my sight at ALL times.
She watched me the rest of the time I was there and when I went to check out she was conveniently at the register right next to the one I was at. She was sharing with her coworker (at a volume just loud enough for me to hear) how she has been needing a chair just like the one I found and how she works a lot, has children, isn’t doing well financially, and how it’s so frustrating to “watch people who can probably afford new items come to the discount store and buy all the good things” (her words). I did start to feel bad a bit cause even though I’m not super wealthy like she assumed, I would be okay without the chair. I’ll admit that I do have a bean bag chair I brought from home that I could use as a place to sit while doing homework. I almost caved and gave the employee the chair until the lady checking me out informed me that she couldn’t sell me the chair because there was no barcode price sticker on it.
That’s when I knew something was up cause the selling point of the chair for me was the fact that it was $10! How could I have known that if there was not a price on the chair?? So I looked around like a crazy person for the barcode sticker until the employee who previously tried to steal my chair *magically* found the sticker. When I tell you I was LIVID. I completed the purchase and marched out with my stuff without offering the employee a thank you for “finding my sticker”.
Now that I’ve had time to sit back and reflect I do feel bad about how I behaved while leaving. Yes what she did wasn’t cool, but she was an older lady who probably does work a lot and is doing her best to provide for her family, and I’m a college student who’s only gonna be here for a half a year then I’ll probably have to sell the chair when I go home. I genuinely love the chair I’m just not pleased by how I got it. I kind of bought it out of spite.

This is my last attempt for awhile. *Do Not message or add me just to unfriend me or ghost me. * Greetings future partner ❤️ I'm still searching for you. I have to be honest and say that I am losing hope trying to find you.Please be somewhere. I want my search for a partner to be over. I'm seeking adventure in my life with someone I can call a forever partner. I'm tired of the loneliness and the sheltered lifestyle that I've lived. It would mean a lot of you could read through this post so that I could make sure we are compatible. Even if we start off as friends that would be fine.
Here's to new beginnings and new connections. PLEASE make sure you READ through the WHOLE POST also please be respectful when messaging me * *If you're the type to be impatient, block, or ghost easily, then save both of us the trouble and DO NOT message me! I'm not trying to come off as mean but I'd much rather you not message me if you're the type of person to do that. If something isn't working just let me know. We're all adults.
Greetings, I am seeking a long term relationship monogamous with the end goal being matrimony. I am not one for playing around and being used casually as it doesn’t suit me personally. Ideally I'd prefer a man that has his life already in place so that I can be able to share life with him and for him to take care of me. I would expect my future man to have a fiscally stable job and be able to support me and our future family. I wouldn’t be opposed to being a housewife. There are few reasons why I would like to work or work part time: 1) Being abandoned with nothing, 2) I want to feel fulfilled and not bored. Happy to discuss possible dynamics, I'm flexible. I would love a synergistic partnership where we are both able to mold our minds and fill our hearts with warm affection. I will be there to support you throughout your journey and celebrate every moment with you. I want you to be proud of you just as you are with me. I want to show you that you are truly cared for and appreciated by gestures of love such as massages and other forms of entertainment. I would expect the same from you as well. Even if we are both working adults we can still make our relationship work in the best way possible. I have seen this come out well for people who are dedicated and willing to make their relationships work. For a strong relationship to occur I would expect effective (transparent) communication from you. If you are going to be busy just be honest and let me know you won’t be able to talk to me.Also, if you need your space both mentally and physically let me know. I understand that we all have our lives to attend to but it is incredibly important for people in a relationship to be transparent when circumstances arise in a timely manner in order to avoid future conflict. If this relationship isn’t going to work I would expect you to tell me and not ghost or block me before giving me a reason why. We are all adults so I would expect nothing but maturity. Starting out I don’t want the pressure of sex to be pushed onto me. I’d rather let time tell in all of its glory.
Now onto my true introduction
My name is Angie and I'm from Georgia in the United States. I've been lonely for quite some time and find it hard to find a soulmate in IRL. What I'm looking for is someone who I can connect with and have wholesome conversations with. I want to be able to treat my future soulmate well just as much as they do me. The biggest part of a long lasting relationship is the ability to communicate openly without worry. I'd love it if my significant other has a dark sense of humor and continues to crack me up non-stop. As cheesy as it may sound I long for those late night calls and cute texts. I want for us to drive out the very best in each other; become our support system. A little bit about me is that I grew up in Florida and not too long ago moved to Georgia. I'm currently in college to become an RN but I'm also passionate about cosmetic chemistry and nutrition so I may seek to build my own business in the future. I'm passionate about science and theoretical applications especially within the medical field. I'd appreciate it if my partner is open minded about varying topics and welcomes healthy conversations. Appearance wise I'm open to seeing if we have a connection and feel as long as you are well groomed and practice basic hygiene you are good. Although, I must say that attraction is key in a relationship so I will have to go off on that as well. To add on, I enjoy playing video games, exercising (I've been slacking off lately), cooking and baking (vegan), playing board games, reading, exploring nature, playing sports (basketball and soccer) for fun, and trying new experiences. I hope to save up and travel someday. It would be nice for my partner to be able to set up our travel itinerary.
My Physical Description:
I am a black woman who’s twenty five years old (almost 26 in December) with Afro-Carribean, Japanese and Swedish ancestry. I’d still consider myself black presenting since that’s more along the lines of what I appear as phenotypically. I have dark brown curly hair (Mainly 3c type curls) and brown eyes. I am 5 '4 on the thicker spectrum (not at all obese but thick boned and have thunder thighs). I am trying to exercise more to become fit. I used to weight lift when I was younger but since then have lost lean muscle mass. Having a partner that is willing to work out together sometimes is rather rewarding. A man who has drive and appeal is incredibly sexy. I would also like to point out that I am curvy and noticeable in certain aspects (I’ll leave it up to you to decide).
*You have to be MINIMUM 21 to date me *
If distance will be a problem and you aren't willing to make it work then DON'T MESSAGE ME!!
If you will be too busy to pursue a relationship then DO NOT contact me!! * *Again, No ghosters or blockers!! Seeking a person who seeks a relationship with God and/or is open to one Must be free from venerial diseases and must be willing to get tested(will discuss) Bonus points if you're vegan Ideally I would like someone that is taller than me (I’m 5’4) I prefer a man that is fit or trying to be. I'd prefer someone who is fiscally stable and able to support the both of us* A big red flag for me is smokers. It isn't good for your health nor is it sexy to me.* It's important for me to point out that I want children in the future and need someone who may want that as well. If you're interested in how I look and want to know more about me, message me. Although I don’t make it a huge deal, I do prefer White and East Asian men. But I do love all types of men and welcome them. As stated before I emphasize communication and would prefer you to be honest and say if something is wrong instead of ghosting or blocking without stating the reason. Fair warning if I can be socially awkward sometimes and don't know what to talk about so please be patient with me as I'm learning to be better conversation wise

This will mostl likely be my last attempt in trying to find someone for awhile. * Do Not message me just to ghost or block me! Think it through before you message me!! I don't want to get emotionally hurt again.*
Greetings future partner ❤️ I'm still searching for you. I have to be honest and say that I am losing hope trying to find you.Please be somewhere. I want my search for a partner to be over. I'm seeking adventure in my life with someone I can call a forever partner. I'm tired of the loneliness and the sheltered lifestyle that I've lived. It would mean a lot of you could read through this post so that I could make sure we are compatible. Even if we start off as friends that would be fine.
Here's to new beginnings and new connections. PLEASE make sure you READ through the WHOLE POST also please be respectful when messaging me * *If you're the type to be impatient, block, or ghost easily, then save both of us the trouble and DO NOT message me! I'm not trying to come off as mean but I'd much rather you not message me if you're the type of person to do that. If something isn't working just let me know. We're all adults.
Greetings, I am seeking a long term relationship monogamous with the end goal being matrimony. I am not one for playing around and being used casually as it doesn’t suit me personally. Ideally I'd prefer a man that has his life already in place so that I can be able to share life with him and for him to take care of me. I would expect my future man to have a fiscally stable job and be able to support me and our future family. I wouldn’t be opposed to being a housewife. There are few reasons why I would like to work or work part time: 1) Being abandoned with nothing, 2) I want to feel fulfilled and not bored. Happy to discuss possible dynamics, I'm flexible. I would love a synergistic partnership where we are both able to mold our minds and fill our hearts with warm affection. I will be there to support you throughout your journey and celebrate every moment with you. I want you to be proud of you just as you are with me. I want to show you that you are truly cared for and appreciated by gestures of love such as massages and other forms of entertainment. I would expect the same from you as well. Even if we are both working adults we can still make our relationship work in the best way possible. I have seen this come out well for people who are dedicated and willing to make their relationships work. For a strong relationship to occur I would expect effective (transparent) communication from you. If you are going to be busy just be honest and let me know you won’t be able to talk to me.Also, if you need your space both mentally and physically let me know. I understand that we all have our lives to attend to but it is incredibly important for people in a relationship to be transparent when circumstances arise in a timely manner in order to avoid future conflict. If this relationship isn’t going to work I would expect you to tell me and not ghost or block me before giving me a reason why. We are all adults so I would expect nothing but maturity. Starting out I don’t want the pressure of sex to be pushed onto me. I’d rather let time tell in all of its glory.
Now onto my true introduction
My name is Angie and I'm from Georgia in the United States. I've been lonely for quite some time and find it hard to find a soulmate in IRL. What I'm looking for is someone who I can connect with and have wholesome conversations with. I want to be able to treat my future soulmate well just as much as they do me. The biggest part of a long lasting relationship is the ability to communicate openly without worry. I'd love it if my significant other has a dark sense of humor and continues to crack me up non-stop. As cheesy as it may sound I long for those late night calls and cute texts. I want for us to drive out the very best in each other; become our support system. A little bit about me is that I grew up in Florida and not too long ago moved to Georgia. I'm currently in college to become an RN but I'm also passionate about cosmetic chemistry and nutrition so I may seek to build my own business in the future. I'm passionate about science and theoretical applications especially within the medical field. I'd appreciate it if my partner is open minded about varying topics and welcomes healthy conversations. Appearance wise I'm open to seeing if we have a connection and feel as long as you are well groomed and practice basic hygiene you are good. Although, I must say that attraction is key in a relationship so I will have to go off on that as well. To add on, I enjoy playing video games, exercising (I've been slacking off lately), cooking and baking (vegan), playing board games, reading, exploring nature, playing sports (basketball and soccer) for fun, and trying new experiences. I hope to save up and travel someday. It would be nice for my partner to be able to set up our travel itinerary.
My Physical Description:
I am a black woman who’s twenty five years old (almost 26 in December) with Afro-Carribean, Japanese and Swedish ancestry. I’d still consider myself black presenting since that’s more along the lines of what I appear as phenotypically. I have dark brown curly hair (Mainly 3c type curls) and brown eyes. I am 5 '4 on the thicker spectrum (not at all obese but thick boned and have thunder thighs). I am trying to exercise more to become fit. I used to weight lift when I was younger but since then have lost lean muscle mass. Having a partner that is willing to work out together sometimes is rather rewarding. A man who has drive and appeal is incredibly sexy. I would also like to point out that I am curvy and noticeable in certain aspects (I’ll leave it up to you to decide).
*You have to be MINIMUM 21 to date me *
If distance is an issue and you aren't willing to commit then DON'T MESSAGE ME!!
If you will be too busy to pursue a relationship then DO NOT contact me!! * *Again, No ghosters or blockers!! Seeking a person who seeks a relationship with God and/or is open to one MUST be free from venerial diseases (must be willing to get tested) Bonus points if you're vegan Ideally I would like someone that is taller than me (I’m 5’4) I prefer a man that is fit or trying to be. I'd prefer someone who is fiscally stable and able to support the both of us* A big red flag for me is smokers. It isn't good for your health nor is it sexy to me.* It's important for me to point out that I want children in the future and need someone who may want that as well. If you're interested in how I look and want to know more about me, message me. Although I don’t make it a huge deal, I do prefer White and East Asian men. But I do love all types of men and welcome them. As stated before I emphasize communication and would prefer you to be honest and say if something is wrong instead of ghosting or blocking without stating the reason. Fair warning if I can be socially awkward sometimes and don't know what to talk about so please be patient with me as I'm learning to be better conversation wise

I’m 40. I’m finishing grad school this summer and I’ll be a counselor. Because of some ventures and risks I took in my 20s, I didn’t really start working until my 30s other than part time restaurant jobs. I had a government job that was low paying, but it got me through college once I stopped the self-employment ventures and turned 30. I haven’t worked for a year because I had no choice but to leave my job for this last year of grad school which has included lots of practicum hours as well as full time school schedule.
The job was state government, and I’m being totally honest, I can’t imagine going back to state government. I would need 18 more years to even retire with my state’s pension system with the 9 years I’ve put in. I might go work a year when I graduate so I hit my 10 years and get public service loan forgiveness (it was all verified correctly with the various loan servicers). I don’t have to get the 10th year from a government job, either. Just a qualifying non-profit of some sort which will be easy with my grad degree. Plenty of treatment places that are qualifying and it would be good experiencing.
So anyway, I am strongly considering cashing out the 42,000 that is in my state’s retirement account, pay the tax hit and fees, and use the money to get out of the hole I’m in, graduate with a clean slate, maybe set aside 5-7k for an emergency fund, and start saving.
I own a home with a cheap mortgage. The reality is that I will inherit a pretty sizable estate from my mom. She is in her late 70s and won’t be around much longer. I am not going to ask her for money at this point.
It is also my understanding that if I wanted to return to government employment, I could buy my time back if I had the money, which I will once the inheritance happens.
Even if the inheritance somehow doesn’t happen, I am still out of money. I’m really struggling and just want a clean slate with my degree and new career.
I would pay off about $10,000 credit card debt. Pay my mortgage ($550 a month) and other bills such as phone, insurance etc until employed and back on feet.
While not counting on it, I have a few things going on that I suspect will be financially rewarding but I’ll be fine if they don’t.
I’m just tired, health issues, and want to stop being stressed.
I should add that because of the health issues, I highly doubt I’ll see 65 years old.
I have a pretty simple life. No kids. Don’t want them. Small home and there isn’t anything I can’t live without burning a hole in my pocket. I just can’t think of a reason to be sitting on this money when it could really really help me right now. My 30s were really hard because of all the health issues. They are finally diagnosed, healed, etc, but took a toll.
How would I calculate the penalty from cashing out the $42,000? Would it be like 30-40%?
Thanks, PF!

Republic 7^th Fleet, Centaurus Sector, 407 light years from Earth
RSS Vercingetorix, Independence-Class Carrier, 2174 A.D.
Vice-Admiral Mei Zhou had just finished making the final changes to the fleet’s reconnaissance patrol routes with her senior staff when the comm panel on her desk chirped, displaying an incoming comm request from Admiral Thompson. She quickly thumbed the pad being offered by her aide so that he could issue the orders they were just working on and turned to the rest of her staff. “Nice job, people. Let’s get to work. Dismissed.” As the staff filed out the door, she started entering the codes needed to decrypt the incoming comm channel and looked up to make sure the room was empty. She pressed the open channel icon, and Admiral Thompson’s holo image appeared in front of her desk, ending just below his waist and making it seem as if he was actually there, sitting.
“Mei, how’s your new ship treating you?” he asked, smiling. “She is an absolute beauty, Karl. I still can’t believe that she is mine.” She responded, returning his smile. “What can I do for you, Karl?” Thompson chuckled, and his holo image leaned back as he reclined in his chair. “Straight to business; I always liked that about you, Mei. Alright, here we go. We have received intelligence reports that the Commonwealth has begun evacuating one of their last remaining coreward periphery worlds that is now dangerously close to the expanded Insectoid border. We have also received an update from our spy drones in that same region that six Hive ships and almost four hundred cruisers that were patrolling their side of that border area have disappeared. This is too much of a coincidence, and I want you to detach a combat patrol and send them there.” Thompson finished speaking, and a flashing icon popped up on her comm panel, indicating that she had just received new orders. She tapped it and quickly scanned the new orders as the admiral waited. She looked up at his holo image. “Karl, I acknowledge receipt of the new orders and will implement them. Between me and you, why are we getting involved with this? The Commonwealth has a navy, and they should be fighting to protect their space. We can’t keep coming to the rescue and defending their members; we are already spread too thin as it is.”
Thompson nodded his head in agreement. “Mei, I agree with you in principle, but there are social and political considerations involved here. The near extinction of the V’rni has caused considerable turmoil among the citizens of the Republic. They know logically that we could not have stopped such an attack like that one, but the perceived failure to protect them or prevent the attack still weighs heavily on their souls. The Commonwealth is currently attempting to evacuate the Jaleen system, and they are one of the last surviving members that voted yes before our petition to join the Commonwealth was denied. It also doesn’t help that the Jaleeni are avowed pacifists and look like bipedal Newfoundland dogs. They are technically a bear-like species, but to humans, they look like humanoid dogs, and the government is unwilling to lose the popular support it currently enjoys by allowing the Jaleeni to be exterminated. I mean, look at these guys.”
Another flashing icon popped up on her screen a moment later, and she pressed it. It turned into a hologram depicting a typical Jaleeni family of a mother and father with a litter of six pups, and she couldn’t help but smile as she looked at the photo. They were wearing their traditional rough-spun linen clothes that made them look like dogs cosplaying as monks. They looked adorable, and she felt her heart melt while staring into their deep brown eyes, which looked sad. She understood the reasoning behind it, especially after the mass extinctions that occurred in Earth’s biosphere because of World War 3.
After the war, humanity had an awakening when they surveyed their destroyed world and came to terms with the disappearance of thousands of species and the near extinction of thousands of others. What followed were three generations of desperate measures to salvage what remained and a worldwide effort at habitat restoration and de-extinction efforts utilizing a wide array of methods such as back-breeding, cloning, and genome editing. Dogs were almost driven to extinction by the war as they were uniquely susceptible to the BioChem weapons that were developed and refined by the Eastern Coalition animal testing on poor innocent canine subjects. Between the Biochem weapons, owner deaths, abandonment, and starvation, almost 90% of the domesticated canine population and entire breeds were lost by the war’s end. Cats fared much better, but they still suffered a loss of almost half of their pre-war population, and a large percentage of the survivors reverted to a feral state. The result of all of this was an almost religious reverence for the preservation of sentient animal life on human worlds and a somewhat fanatical tendency of humans to take on the mantle of guardians for sapient alien species that resembled animals to them.
“Karl, I understand; I do. I just don’t like the fact that we are operating on so many fronts. Some of our fleets and task forces are patrolling areas far enough away that I worry about them getting reinforcements on time if they are attacked, and now my fleet is being partitioned to send a combat patrol almost three hundred light-years away from our current position. After the assault on the V’rn system, half of our combat power was recalled to Republic space to prevent the same thing from happening to us, and yet we are still being tasked with properly defending Eleani and Xenxin territory with half the ships we had before. Have they lost their damn minds at HQ?” She realized she was almost yelling at the admiral, and Mei took a deep breath, recognizing that her outburst was unbecoming of a Republic naval officer. She attempted to quickly apologize to Admiral Thompson. “Karl, I’m sorry that was uncalled for-“
The admiral raised a hand to stop her, an amused expression in his eyes. “Mei, I said the exact same thing to my boss as you did almost verbatim, and not as diplomatically as you, I might add. My concerns were addressed to my satisfaction, and I think yours will be when you get to your destination. There will be a task force joining you there, and I think you will be pleased. That is all I can say for now over the comms. You will lead the combat patrol to the coordinates listed in the orders you received, and the task force joining you there will fall under your command. I have a personal favor to ask of you. Please keep an open mind when you link up with the task force. You will rendezvous with Commodore Therax, and he is instrumental in our efforts to undermine the increasingly despotic Commonwealth government. More information about him and the Nekuli were added to your orders, make sure you review it. I took a big gamble on this, and I would be grateful if you did your best to make this collaboration work. That is all for now, and I wish you and your crews good fortune and godspeed, Mei. Take care of yourself.” The admiral finished speaking, and Mei noted the personal nature of his last few words, nodding an affirmative to his request.
“Admiral, I thank you for your words, and we won’t let you down. I need to issue the orders now to get there and link up with the task force on time. I’ll send a null space comm drone to the nearest relay to confirm our arrival and integration. Vice-admiral Zhou out.” As she leaned towards the comm panel to close the channel, she saw Admiral Thompson doing the same, and he gave her a wink and a mischievous smile before she pressed the icon, terminating the connection. She leaned back in her chair and blew out a deep breath. “Now what the hell was that all about?” She asked out loud to herself, as the confusing and secretive nature of her orders and the personal request of the admiral added to the uncertainty of what she was expected to do. She keyed her wrist pad and texted her aide to come back to her office for new orders. He was going to be livid that they just wasted half a day revising the patrol routes to maximize efficiency and increase their patrol range. A small smile crossed her lips as she waited. He had an obvious tell of his lower left eyelid spasming when he was mad despite displaying no emotions on his face, and she knew it drove him nuts that he couldn’t control it. Witnessing it was one of the small joys she had in her difficult job as vice-admiral, and she was looking forward to it.
Fifty-six hours later, her task force flashed out of null space at the designated coordinates and right on time. She felt a measure of pride as she watched her bridge crew go about confirming their location and verifying it with the navigational array and astrometric sensors. Once the navigator gave her confirmation that he verified their position, she turned towards the comms officer and ordered her to send a burst transmission with the pre-arranged code and waited for the response. A few seconds later, the comms officer raised her left hand and signaled receipt and confirmation of the code by the task force waiting in null space. An agonizingly long minute crawled along as she anxiously waited for her navigator to confirm the telemetry from his counterpart in the other task force as they verified their positions. The navigator activated the main viewscreen on the forward bulkhead as they waited. Suddenly, there were a multitude of exit flashes 200,000 kilometers from the bow of her carrier, and hundreds of warships appeared at a dead stop relative to her position.
Her jaw dropped as she took in the unexpected fleet in front of her. There were dozens of Commonwealth dreadnaughts, battleships, and heavy cruisers arrayed before her, as well as an additional one hundred and twenty light cruisers, destroyers, and missile frigates. On the flanks of the main formation, there were more exit flashes, and the bridge AI started categorizing them on the screen, and she saw that they were the new Eleani and Xenxin warships that she had been hearing about. They shared a design lineage with the Commonwealth ships, but there were definite differences that became obvious as they assumed their positions next to the Commonwealth navy ships. She was particularly intrigued by the Xenxin ships, as they seemed to be bristling with weapons, almost excessively so relative to their ship sizes. The Eleani ships seemed to have taken a different design philosophy, and they gave the impression of deadly speed and grace, and she was hard-pressed to spot any obvious weapons on their hulls despite the AI confirming that the ships were indeed well-armed.
There was another coded signal from null space that appeared on the comm station panel, and her comm officer turned to her. “Vice-admiral, we have received a coded message on the sigma frequency for your eyes only that requires biometric and voice verification to decrypt.” Zhou nodded and pressed a button on her arm panel, activating the privacy screen around her chair and feeling the pressure change as the bridge around her became opaque and silent. She pressed the biometric toggle on the panel, and a retinal scanner popped out of its alcove on the side. She leaned in and scanned her right eye first, then her left. An icon appeared on the screen, and she thumbed it as it flashed and confirmed the print. Finally, she spoke and addressed the bridge AI: “Suzy, please confirm the voice command for verification.” The AI answered immediately. -Of course, Vice-Admiral Zhou, please proceed.- “Zhou, one-red-seven-green-four-tango-alpha-zero. Execute.” -Voice command verified. Thank you, Vice-Admiral Zhou.-
A small holographic display popped up in front of her; the admiral appeared on the screen, and his pre-recorded message started playing. “Mei, I know all this cloak and dagger stuff seems excessive, but we couldn’t take any chances. The receipt of this message will activate a program in your bridge AI and allow it to take control of the new drone ships waiting for you in null space. They are a new class of upgraded null ships and are top secret. Your AI will anchor them to your task force, and they will follow you, remaining hidden in null space unless you absolutely need them.”
“There are also two troopships with them that are carrying a complement of two thousand Mark XII ATS Bio-Synths and an expeditionary brigade each of rangers and pathfinders in stasis. They are also to remain in null space unless circumstances require that you need them; they are an insurance policy for an ongoing mission in Insectoid space. The details of that are top secret as well and can be accessed with your AI. If the troopships are required for that mission, they are to be escorted by a detachment of null ships and sent there immediately. After you have met your task force counterpart, there are orders in this packet that are to be accessed by you both and executed. I have the utmost faith in you, Mei, and I can’t wait to take you out to dinner again when we can both coordinate our next leave together. Thompson out.”
The hologram message disappeared, and she waited a little longer to allow the blush from his last sentence to fade from her cheeks and suppress the smile that was trying to form on her face before she put on her command mask and lowered the privacy screen. The bridge crew was going about their usual tasks, trying hard not to seem interested in her top-secret message. “Comms, open a channel to the task force flagship, please.” The comm officer acknowledged the order, and a few seconds later, the Bridge of the Commonwealth flagship appeared on the viewscreen.
A Nekuli male was sitting in the command chair, resplendent in the uniform favored by Nekuli officers. He took a moment to look around her bridge before settling his eyes on her. He bowed his head slowly in a gesture of respect, which she returned in proper fashion. The proper courtesies having been observed, he raised his eyes to meet with hers and started speaking. “Vice-Admiral Zhou. May the ancestors grant you and your clan honor and good fortune. I am deeply honored to meet you, and I hope our integration is a successful endeavor. I now entrust the honor of myself and my crew to your safekeeping.” He remained stone still as he awaited her reply, and she tried to remember the proper return greeting that she had been studying during their trip here.
“Commodore Therax, the honor is mine, and I promise you that I shall never ask you or your crew to undertake any action that will bring dishonor to your clans and your ancestors. We are now joined as one; may our cause be just and pure.” She finished the response, and the gravity of what she just promised to someone she had never met before hit her hard; it felt almost sacred to her. Commodore Therax heard her proper reply, and he stood up, followed by the rest of his bridge crew. He addressed her again. “Our honor has been given, and we have received a promise to safeguard it in return. Our joining is now consecrated in the eyes of the ancestors, and you are now our clan leader. What are your orders?
She recovered from the ordeal of the emotionally charged exchange of vows and stood up to give her first order as clan leader to the Nekuli. “I request the presence of you and your senior staff aboard my ship tonight. I will prepare a feast to honor our new friendship and alliance. I have studied your cuisine, and I have found a selection of Earth cuisine that should suit your taste. It is called tartare and sashimi; I think you will like it.” Commodore Therax looked at her dubiously, and she had to stifle a laugh at his expression as she knew that he was imagining being forced to eat vegetables and overcooked meat out of politeness. She spoke quickly to assuage his fears. “Commodore, tartare, and sashimi are raw red meat and fish; I would never inflict vegetables and burnt meat on you or your crew; are we not friends?”
As his translator finished converting her words into his language, he smiled at her, baring all of his fangs in true happiness.

Hey gang - I don't know where to vent - so i'll vent here, I'm not sure if i'm in the wrong mindset. My partner (33F) is 14 weeks pregnant. (WOOT!) prior to this, we've been together for over 2 years. We both have been out of college and have about 7 YOE. I own my own home, my own cars, and we are both financially stable. We both agreed to start trying (if it happens it happens) 2 years into our relationship. we are both extremely excited about this next step in our life! I first told my brother and my parents. They both were even more excited than I, I loved it, I even have recordings of their reactions, it is beautiful. Then we decided to tell her mother and brother, granted, I've gotten really close with her brother, and her mother (we lived with them for 3 months while i closed on my home). When we told her mother, her mothers reaction was more of a 1.5 hr screaming fest; the repeated statements were; "How could you do this to me, you embarrassing me", "I taught you better", "What is wrong with you guys?", "How could you skip this step?", "This is wrong", "I am embarrassed" , "This makes me look bad", "I am disappointed in you (her daughter)". different ways of saying that, just because we weren't wed. I proceeded to be clam, and stand my ground, to ensure her, that her daughter is the love of my life, the barer of my child, I will fight for this family, I will love both of these people with ever being of my fiber. I told her my reason was that I would rather have a larger finical safety net to bring a child into this world since we are both 33, than to spend money on a wedding, and risk later life pregnancy. She would have non of this. As i watched my partner cry her face off, while her mother just stood there laying waste with her unsupportive words. I was torn, I am a big family guy. I only have a tiny circle (my clan) that i keep close... I told her mom, "I'm sorry you feel this way, what can i do to make you feel better?" she continued to just yell the same sentiment.. I looked at my partner, knowing she should NOT be stressed during this time of pregnancy, and said 'lets leave and give each other space' my partner didn't want to (in respect for her mom - we are both asian) but I insisted we leave. We did, I told her "respectfully I think we all need some space, if you allow us, we would like to leave right now", she said "ok".
I could not sleep for a couple nights (its been 3 weeks) the words she said cut like knives.. I feel offended, I feel so angry. Logically, in my mind i think, if you are a parent, your job is to watch your children.. they fumble, they fail, but you guide them you support them. How could you ever tell them their actions are a mistake and embarrassment.. furthermore.. her daughter is pregnant, she is experiencing so many emotions, especially fear.. how could you not put aside your feeling, and know at this very moment your daughter is looking for your support.. how could you let your daughter down when she needs you the MOST. I am twisted up, because I thought I was a good judge of character.. but wow all i come up with is selfish individual... who just cares about themselves.. This mother is supposed to be an adult.. all that angry and anguish all because... ? we weren't married? because we 'skipped' a step? all because we didn't fit into their cookie cutter norms.. I spiraled further questioning myself.. then came back around.. I grew up in a trailer.. no money, I fought tooth and nail, to put myself in college, to learn, to grow, to buy myself a car, to buy myself a home, and to get myself to a point I love. Yet how am i so irked by this person.. how can this person even understand what I went through. they don't, I think i'm just so conflicted. Sometimes I wish I could go and let her know a piece of my mind, I love family, and the thought of putting a rut between my partner and her mother also kills me.. I don't want that, but I don't want someone with those values of "self", "me", "me" around my child. Ever since then, so much of my why my partner and her brother are the way they are makes sense. I just want to let this mother know, "I am disappointed in myself, for letting someone so selfish come so close to me, I forgive but I don't forget. Lastly Thank you, thank you for raising someone to NOT be like you"
sorry - I guess... in some big part of this whole post is my having this bottled up emotion, being conflicted, and not able or willing to put this stress on my pregnant partner.
Thanks for listening.

I (34F) have been married to my husband (33) for 8 years. We have two kids. I love him, I truly do but I don’t think I can take this anymore. His birthday is May 10, mine is May 17, and Mother’s Day (USA) is usually in between them. Every year I end up crying myself to sleep because of him. A little back story. His family isn’t very good. They rarely even acknowledge his existence and usually only when they need something from him. My family on the other hand is completely different. My parents to this day still surprise me with a cake and sing happy birthday to me. Every year without fail, my husband gets jealous and sabotages both Mother’s Day and my birthday. He takes one minor situation and blows it way out of proportion. Resulting in him rotating between giving me the silent treatment or snapping at me and telling me what a horrible person I am. This year for instance, he decided to take me to Barnes and Noble the day after his birthday. I told him he didn’t have to that we could do something else or even save it for the following weekend. But he insisted we do it then. He gave me a budget which I thought I was doing pretty good following but once the total rang up it was way over budget. I offered to put some books back but he snapped and said it was okay. Walking through the store to leave, I offered once again to return some. He ignored me. When we got to the car I asked if he was mad. He said it didn’t matter that it was too late anyway and got in. I grabbed the bag and went right back and returned all but 3 books. When I got back into the car, I handed him the money and said I was sorry. He threw the money back at me and said I always do this shit. I cried the entire 45 minute drive home. When we got home I asked if he could go hang out with his brothers or something because I needed space. He screamed at me “seriously I’m the one in trouble here when it’s your fault” I spent the rest of the evening and night crying in the fetal position while my 3 year old daughter wiped my tears away and told me it was okay. He “apologized” for snapping through text but that was it. On Mother’s Day he made me do everything because the kids weren’t listening to him and were making everything difficult. He always uses the whole “they only want you” or “they only listen to you” excuse to get out of even the basic tasks like giving our oldest his antibiotics for his ear infection. When the kids were young, he was very hands on but as the kids got older and the longer I was a SAHM he got more incompetent. I feel like he resents me for them having a closer bond to me and punishes me by weaponizing his incompetence. He also gets jealous of the affection our four cats give me and tries sabotaging it. They don’t really like him because of how rough he is. He’s always saying it’s to put them in their place. Whenever they’re laying on me for too long he’ll come up and start aggressively patting them to irritate them so they get up and leave. I know a lot of his issues aren’t his fault and due to his shitty family and upbringing.
But my daughter consoling me made me realize that maybe it’s time to walk away and just coparent.

Hi all,
Long story but I'll try to be brief. The short version is I have a wonderful soon to be 10 year old daughter that I have 50% physical custody of. Her mom and I have been broken up for 8 years. There are no feelings there. Please don't think this is a jealousy thing.
About 10 months ago my daughter's mom wanted to move our daughter to another city to live with her boyfriend. I asked how long they had been together... And she said 8 weeks.
I said she was free to move wherever she wants... But I would not support changing our daughter's school and uprooting her life for such a new relationship.
Mom wound up getting an apartment in my city and the boyfriend moved in there. I asked to meet him or for us all to do something together like we had with previous partners... But she said he didn't want to meet me and was very anti-social.
I asked mom for his name at least... And she said he didn't want it shared because he was a very private person. I was a bit worried because mom has been in several abusive relationships. One of them got her put in the ICU and caused a stroke.
There were a bunch of red flags. All I asked my daughter about him was if he was nice to her and if he was nice to her mom. My daughter became very reserved and said she wasn't allowed to talk about him.
Around this time I started noticing bruises on mom when I dropped our daughter off. Mom would say she fell or ran into things.
I reviewed good touch bad touch with my daughter and told her if there was every anything happening in the home that made her uncomfortable or unsafe... Then she needed to let me know. She said okay... But said she was scared she would get in trouble if she talked about the boyfriend.
The straw that broke the camels back was when my daughter pointed at a car and said that's the kind of car the boyfriend drove. It was just made in passing and I actually forgot she made it at all.
Then a couple weeks ago my daughter asked me to pause the movie we were watching and said she needed to talk to me. She said that her moms boyfriend was mean to mom and that he always made her cry. Then she asked me why mom was always with men who were not nice to her.
And then she said that her mom had found out that she had made that comment about the kind of car her drove and screamed at her for telling me. Then the very next day the boyfriend went and bought a new car.
At this point it became clear something was being hidden and this wasn't just enforcing boundaries or wanting privacy. So I hired a private investigator to reveal the man's name.
When I got his name, I looked for any court cases that involved him. I found that he was charged with several felonies in 2021 including assault with a deadly weapon, breaking and entering with a deadly weapon, battery against a household member, stalking and breaking and entering with a weapon.
There was also a battery on a household member charge from just a few months ago- when he was with my daughter's mom. This charge was also dismissed.
I requested the police reports for these incidents. In 2021, he broke into the home of an ex with a gun. He found her with her new partner and proceeded to beat both of them with the gun. Then he racked a round into the chamber and put the gun to the exes head before beating them some more. The man sustained a fractured skull and had to be life flighted to the hospital. The woman had a broken hand and lacerations on her head.
In the incident involving mom, he punched her in the face several times then he choked her. When she tried to facetime her dad for help, he took the phone from her, beat her with it and then dragged her across the floor by her hair, ripping a chunk out.
I confronted mom about this information and she said that she was the aggressor in the incident her was arrested for with her. She said he didn't do anything wrong and that she regretted calling the police. She said she knew about the incident in 2021 but said all he did was find a man in bed with his girlfriend and beat him.
I gave her a copy of the police report showing he did much more. And that she was his ex, not his girlfriend. She said she wasn't aware of those factors.
I asked her if she was going to allow this guy to have access to our daughter now that she knew. And she said yes because the police reports were exaggerated and she loved him and knew he would never hurt our daughter.
Upon hearing this, I scheduled an appointment with an attorney to get a consultation. Today the attorney told me that there was literally nothing I could do about the situation because none of them happened with my daughter present and there were no convictions.
She said the guy in the 2021 incident was injured badly enough to sustain brain damage and did not remember the incident. And the ex later got back with him so she refused to assist in prosecution.
So now my daughter is stuck in a home with an abusive person filled with guns who once held a loaded gun to a partners head.
And the attorney says until my daughter is harmed, I can't do anything. She says even if my ex is being beat in front of my daughter, if she will not speak to a CPS investigator then it will look like I'm just a jealous ex trying to weaponize CPS and it will hurt me.
Surely there has to be something I can do here? Please help me. This guy is going to wind up killing my daughter.

It's something weird. My gf broke up with me a month ago, and we have a four hour long talk as a closure. We then bumped into each other a few days ago and had another talk.
We agreed that we still love and miss each other a lot, how we've been moving on and her life is slowly getting better. Mine too and realized I can do many things without her, but I said I still see this hole in my life which has her shape. And finally dropped it, I still want a future together, but as hard as it is to say, I don't want to actively work on it right now, I need more time to heal and process my grief. Surprisingly, she agreed, and said she also sees a future and we should let time to it's thing until we cross paths again.
To be honest, we're most likely to meet again in college, but it'll be until August because this is our last week before vacations. She said don't give a specific amount of time, if it happens, it will happen and from there, we will try again, but we need to do it slowly and as a new relationship.
And truth is, these following months will be the actual healing months, I won't have to go to college (which reminds me of her), we live far away from each other, and thankfully we both are doing a good NC and this actually helps us to see what we truly want.
So this leaves me in a 'weird' situation. It's like now I have a reason to keep healing and just accept things, but still wondering if what we're doing should make me happy or sad? Idk how to say it, my gut tells me she is the love of my life, but still right now is not good for us to be together, is that even possible?

I am neha ( 26 f ) , I am here to vent and get some suggestions or maybe even a real friend . This is a story of how I ruined my love life and destroyed the man who meant everything to me . We grew up in Coimbatore , i first met my boyfriend when I was in 11th grade , I actually saw him in a video , it was a Facebook video made by his friends , one of his friend proposed a girl , so they made a video of it , he was there in it too . He is tall , above 6ft , he looked ok , normal , a bit weird too with his specs and curl hair . He didn’t stand out , after few days I saw in a local chat place , he was with his friend , all sweaty , they came from gym . I recognised him immediately though. I saw him sneakily , idk why , after going home I sent him a request to his Insta . We started talking the same night , he said he saw me too , we connected way too fast , he was very funny and practical, we became best friends very soon , we almost spoke daily , in that following year we became so close, there wasn’t anything sexual , we just talk about our day and our lives daily , then he got into a relationship with a girl , I liked her too , life was so easy and fun back then , after we got into college , I Started to date a guy in my college , but we didn’t stop talking , nothing changed between us , after going to college we started getting drunk and smoking up , it was all new and we all did it almost everyday in first year , it was pretty fun . The guy I was with that time , didn’t really smoke up that much , he got drunk but he didn’t smoke pot that much , but the rest of us gathered everyday to smoke pot and play carrom . We both even meet at night to just smoke up and listen to music . At the end of the first year , one day he called me one evening and told me that he wanted to meet me , he sounded very low , I was with my my boyfriend and his friends that time but I left there immediately,booked an auto and Met him at a usual place near an IT park , we drink coffee and smoke cigarettes there usually.he was already there when I went in , he saw me and smiled but that looked very sad , he told me that his girlfriend kissed someone , a distant cousin of her actually , she kissed him in a moment and texted her girlfriend about it , she mentioned that she regrets it very much , I can’t stand it , I don’t know what to do , I feel nauseous, stuff like that . He showed the screenshots , he didn’t talk much he just smiled but that killed me . I was so angry on her , I didn’t even know what to do to make him feel better at that moment, I said she is not worth it , don’t worry , things like that . He didn’t talk about it after that , he changed the topic and he just sat there for 30-40 mins just smoking thinking about something. We speak almost daily and I know everything about him , he told me when they first had sex , we speak about everything, just not anything sexual to each other , when I saw him like this , I was feeling only rage , I was so angry on her , I don’t understand why she kissed some other guy , after getting into that relationship he was very loyal , I know how loyal he was , he even got a tattoo of her initials , but when he knew about this kiss , it made him so sad I guess . After 2 hours , we went home . I called her as soon as I went home , i scolded her so much , she started crying and told me that it was a mistake, she sounded very regretful too , she cried so much , I couldn’t bring myself to be mean after that .but that night i couldn’t sleep , my ex called me all night but I didn’t pick his call , I kept texting him , we used to text in Snapchat daily , I kept sending him texts and he texted me back to , he said he is going to get drunk and pass out , I also felt that’s better , after some days she even cut her hand , like scratches with knife on wrists , she was very regretful too , then somehow they didn’t break up , he wanted to after that but she didn’t let him , but gradually it got ok , but after this we started to speak and meet more frequently than before , I started to drop him in my college , both of our colleges are in same road , we started going in one vehicle daily. Mostly I drove , we speak all the time about nothing , even when we were going on my scooty , we just make fun of people in road , we laughed , had fun . One day he even pressed my breasts accidentally, side of my breast . I started neglecting my ex , that guy I dated that time , after few months , people started to notice , but still we didn’t care . (I actually come off from a well doing family , my family has enough money but my parents have a very unsuccessful marriage, they don’t even speak to each other , I have a younger sister and elder sister . My elder sister is married , my younger sister difference is 3 years . My parents doesn’t speak to each other , my mom openly says that they are together only for the kids . ) I loved being with him , he made me feel safe , comfortable and it’s always warm when I’m with him . We smoked pot all the time though , it was so fun , we even bunked college went to room and just smoked pot and watched anime all day . One day my ex boyfriend and his friends were in Ooty and they wanted me to come , I said I’ll come with him , I can’t come alone , and I asked him to come . We rolled some joints and started to go in his bike , we went a beautiful ride , stopped and smoked up in between, after we reached there I went with my ex boyfriend. We all smoked up that night got drunk , he usually doesn’t talk that much , but all of us were drunk and it was chill , some of my friends like him some don’t , but it’s all chill . We stayed in a tent stay there , that night I was with my ex , he wanted to make out , we kissed and did some stuff but I just felt restless and distracted, I kept thinking about him and my ex was a drunk too , it didn’t turn me on , after some time he passed out . I went out and went to his tent to see him if he is asleep , but he wasn’t there , then I started to look for him and I found him near the fire place , he was smoking up there alone with a phone in his hand , he was just singing this song 7 years by Lucas I think , he was singing along with a joint in his hand , he saw me coming , smiled but he didn’t stop singing, I can see him feeling even little embarrassed, but he looked so happy and free . I sat down there started to smoke up with him . After sometime I asked him why haven’t even kissed even once , I just asked him in a fun way but he got all serious all of a sudden , he saw me straight in the eyes and told me that he would love to kiss me , I literally felt butterflies in my lower tummy , my hips felt all tight too , idk , I still remember everything though . I kissed him in an instant, I kinda rushed in and kissed him, it felt magical . We kissed for a long time , we just kissed , nothing else . But I loved it , after sometime we separated, he saw me smiled and said I tasted sweet and bitter with weed taste . But my heart was beating so fast that time , I wanted to make out with him right there , I’ve felt horny before but he was the only guy made me feel like this , I tried to kiss him again but he stopped me and told me im drunk and asked me to go sleep . Next morning they asked me to go with them but my mind was fully on that kiss , I came back to cbe in his bike , we didn’t talk anything for the first time I just hugged him on the way back , it was nice too . I thought about plans to break up with my ex , after he dropped me home I kept thinking about the kiss , things got normal after a few days , we were like before but we started to flirt a bit , I started to call him baby and it gradually became very intimate . One day in a movie I kissed him again and he kissed me back too , we started making out bit by bit , it developed into a place where he started to grope me while im driving , I enjoyed every bit of that , I broke up with that guy I was with but he was still with that girl . Around final year first semester end they broke up too . We had intercourse the next day , it was amazing , I loved everything about him and the best thing is he is my best friend too . We rented a place for us by college end , we had sex every single day , it was the best , I loved staying with him . After this there was covid and we had to stay in our place , for one whole year I lived with him happily, he never let me down even once , he was already very caring from beginning but after we got committed , he really did treated me like a princess . He didn’t speak much but his actions were most considerate , we both worked remotely and having the time of our life , two years went by , I was happy and fullfilled , at the end of third year he quit his job and tried to get a different better job with extra good pay , 3 months passed by , one day few friends of mine from my work visited our place , they told me about opportunity to work in chennai for a month , I took it and went to chennai for a month , he dropped me to bus and sent me off to chennai . We spoke daily but not that much , I went out with my friends daily got drunk , just having fun . Some of my friends think my boyfriend is beneath me , one even said that I deserve better , she said he didn’t even get a job in three months joked and asked me whether I am the one who’s paying rent , actually he never asked me rent or money , he always paid for everything , but that time when they were joking I didn’t defend him , I still couldn’t believe that I didn’t say anything . In that week I met a guy , he came with my friends , he flirted with me when I was there , after I went back to PG I got a text from this guy , he got my number from my friends it seems . After some texts I responded and we started texting ,i liked the attention I think idk , I was talking to my boyfriend daily too , but somehow he noticed that I am not ok , he asked me about it and I said it was work issue and I am tired , 3^rd weekend I met that guy alone , he wanted to have a drink and I went , I slept with him that night , to be honest the sex wasn’t good , when he got inside me I felt darkness , I swear . Idk why I did it , after sex that guy slept in a second , I saw him lying down and I felt like killing myself , I left to my pg in midnight , I booked a cab and went back . I saw my snap notifications from him but I couldn’t open it , I blocked that guy’s number , I went to pg , cried myself to sleep . Next morning I spoke to my boyfriend , told him that I got cold and resting today , he told me that he got a job as a business manager for a US IT firm , he sounded so happy and told me that he called yesterday night to tell me this . I was crying so hard when he was on the phone , at that moment I swear I even fogot the face of that I slept with , he asked me to get rest and I hung up . I couldn’t talk to him , I felt so guilty and ashamed , as I was thinking this I get a notification my swiggy that he placed order to my pg , he bought soup . I broke down , it was like everything is telling me how big mistake I made , suddenly my thought went to that day he told me about his ex’s kiss , I can see that sad smile . I decided not to tell him and love him more and more , he had his birthday in 15 days I wanted to do something for him . When I came back from chennai , he picked me , he was so happy to see me , he spoke about his new job to me on the way , he was like a child , maybe cause he missed me for a month , I can see that he is so happy like silly child just to see me , after going home I had sex with him , I even rimmed him and I kinda liked it , it was the best sex we had , I felt alive and also very guilty . I treated him better and better to ease my guilt , but this made him very happy , I arranged a small party with my sister ,his friends and my mom .the day before his birthday we got drunk he asked me why I am not being adamant like before , ‘enna kadhal ha ‘ (joking sayin I am so in love) he joked about how afetr five years we can get super rich and start a family , I melted hearing all this .i promised myself that I will never let him down . but ha ha This is why I think karma is a bitch , at the noon of his birthday I got a text from that guy saying that he is thinking about that night . He heard the notification took the phone to pass it to me , he just saw the phone simply , just a glance and he just stopped and opened the text , I was blowing up balloons opposite of him , I saw his face and my heart sank , he came closer and gave me the phone , he didn’t speak anything , I opened my phone in a panic , saw the text and I saw him , he asked me ‘ so you slept with some guy ? ‘ , I didn’t reply , my whole mind got blank , I felt like I was gonna faint , he just saw me and said why . Of all these years I knew him I never saw him cry , but now his voice was shaking , he just asked me ‘ yen ‘ (why in tamil) . I saw tears on his eyes , I can see his eyes becoming lifeless in a matter of minutes , I tried to hug him but he just moved away , no matter how much we fight , when I hug him , he gets all cute and lovely , but he just moved away in an instinct . He then came forward hugged me tightly , he said ‘ sorry ‘ . I still don’t know why he said sorry , but that sounded so weak to me , he is my everything and I hurt him , I know everything about him and I still fucked up . He hugged me for some more time , I knew this warmth might be the last thing . After few mins , he rubbed his eyes in my dress , saw me smiled the same way . But it felt more like he is laughing at himself , I watched my 6 ft man walking out of the room , I just stood there alone , and I felt very cold , I remember that cold everyday , evening people came for the party and he got ready and cut the cake , fed me the first piece , my mom and sister was there too , he behaved very good , spoke with my family , but I can see that he is broke , but he still made it through the night , I went to speak with him that night , but he said he can’t . he said ‘ please I can’t ‘ . I choked hearing his voice , he went to terrace , I didn’t sleep at all that night , I walked around our little one bhk apartment , I smoked two packs of cigs that night , I went to check on him in the terrace by 4 , he was sleeping there on the floor , he hugs himself in sleep and its so cold , I cried watching him , just one day ago he was being silly like a kid talking about future family , now he is there alone , heartbroken . Morning usually he makes coffee and rolls one , I made coffee and rolled one , waited for him to come down . He came down saw me and smiled , but its not the cheerful smile , it just hurt so bad watching him like that , he drank the coffee , smoked up with me , even told me its good. Then he got ready , I cooked but he said he can’t eat , he is not hungry , that morning was so silent , he cheers up with he sees me , he was my biggest fan , now he left home with just saying bye . I got a text from him that aftrn asking me to move back to my mom’s if possible , I was dead . I couldn’t say no , I hurt him , he didn’t even scold me , he even requested me , I can only say yes . I asked him that I want to stay one more night , he said ok like always . That night I asked him to cuddle with me , he said ok , he wanted that too it seems , we just hugged in silent , he slept off quickly , he always told me that when I sleep with him it makes him stressfree and he gets a good night sleep . He was asleep on my breasts , I saw him sleeping and I couldn’t stop my tears , realising that this is the last time , I made a stupid mistake , but everything felt unimportant now , I saw him sleeping and I kissed him on his cheek , must have whispered sorry a 100 times , our four years relationship came through my mind , I realize that he made sure I was happy in every way he knew , I proposed him , I made him fall for me , now I broke his heart . I didb’t sleep that night too , morning I dozed off , when I woke up he wasn’t there, he made juice for me and left for work . I packed some of my stuff and went to my mom’s . when I stepped out of our little home , I broke down and cried . I went home and cried , I told my mom we fought , but my sister knew something was up , she tried to ask him but he said it was a small fight , I confessed to her that night , I still remember seeing her confused look , she is a gen z kid , but even she gave me a look of confusion , she didn’t understand how I could do that , she liked my boyfriend very much , she was almost proud of him . But when she knew I cheated on him , she felt disgusted I think . Our sister bind kind of broke too that night . My life was dull , I missed him every second , I missed talking to him , I missed his smell , everything . I just focused on work , two months went by with no contact . I saw him near IT park at our spot one day, he looked like he was sick , he lost weight , his eyes are dry , he looked so pale . I saw him from a distance and I couldn’t believe my eyes , my baby looked so weak and sick , he was having a coffe and smoking a cig alone at the place we used to sit . My eyes teared up watching him , he looked so lonely . None of my friends knew we broke up because I cheated , he specifically asked me not to say anything to anyone . I didn’t speak to him that day , I couldn’t . I was full with guilt . After going home I called his friends and asked how he was and they said that they lost all contact with him and he is ghosting everybody . I broke him and also made him alone , I seriously considered killing myself but I was a coward . After a month , when I was in office , my mom got a diabities issue and fainted , my sister called him in a hurry , he came immediatiely and admitted mom in hospital , when I came there I saw him with a plastic cover with insulins for my mom . After my elder siter came , he left , he asked me to call with updates . Before leaving he asked me why I cheated , he said “ is it because I am not satisfying you “ or “ you wanted a emotial support “. when he said that , I just stood there , I can see his face , hiding a humiliation , I never had a sex issue with him , I loved being with him , but my baby asked me this , I felt ashamed . I couldn’t face him , I just stood there , he said never mind and left . I stood there seeing him leave ,but I didn’t give up , I started texting and snapping so much and somehow I made him talk to me normally , but his eyes has lost its color, he looks like he is tired of everything . After few days we both got drunk and alone , I kissed him as soon as I got the chance , he kissed me back too , usually when he kisses , he hold me ears , looks me in the eyes and kiss me , he did the same out of the habit , as soon as our eyes locked , he bursted out in tears , I truly felt how much this man loved me and how much I hurt him , he wanted to do more but he stopped himself , when he burst into tears, my heart completely broke , I hate myself so much , I hate my friends for fucking up my mind , I hate that guy . My man is gettting punished for giving everything to me , its been a year , he changed , he looks lean , unhealthy , I even think his hair is falling , almost like a zombie . I would glady kill myself for him , I just want him to be happy , I destroyed the only person I love , I see how devastating this can get for him, he looks so weak , I can’r accept it . I should’ve defended him when they joked about him . Its all my fault , its been a year and I still can;t go back to him , I can’t imagine another guy to raise my kids , I want him . Help me .

It's kind of pathetic to say, but at 16 years old, I'm starting to realize I've either wasted or lost all the potential I've ever had in life. I don't think I'm capable of living a happy life where I'll ever feel satisfied. I know this sounds very much like teenage angst but since I was young, I've always felt this sense of impending doom and grief when I think about my future.
I think I was 8 years old when I contemplated ending my life for the first time. I was being both physically and sexually abused by my mother and another relative while my father was aware of everything and stayed silent about all of it. The only memories of my childhood I have are ones of the cold bathroom floor my mom used to beat and force me to sleep in. Not only that, but I was very terribly bullied and isolated at school and wasn't ever allowed to leave the house unless it was to a family member's house every so often. At school, I was miserable and hiding in bathroom stalls. At home, I was even more miserable and sleeping on the bathroom floor.
Even after the bullying and physical abuse ended, I struggled to make friends for years and only now have started talking to others on a regular basis. Before this, I tended to shove my head into books and pretend the characters were my companions. There have been times where I wouldn't speak for weeks. One, because my relationship with my family is destroyed and I refuse to stay in the same room as them. Two, because others avoided me and felt so uncomfortable by my presence that I never spoke with others.
My situation has greatly improved since then but recently I've been realizing how much my childhood and living situations have ruined my chances to be a normal human being. I feel so isolated and alone and like a disgusting vile monster wearing a human suit and trying to belong. I feel like life has no choice but to end terribly for me — girls who grow up like me typically end up dead in ditches, addicted to substances, homeless, or all of the above. I have no friends who I speak to regularly, no family members I can rely on, and I'm not intelligent or capable enough to work up for an education that would fix the state of my life. I don't know what to do with myself. I've done everything to try to change whatever's wrong with me.
I've tried to change my behaviour and stop being socially awkward but my phoniness drives people off even more. I've tried to change my appearance and developed severe anorexia in hopes that maybe my body was the reason why I couldn't connect with others. I've tried to study my ass off so others could at least respect me. But I'm too stupid and lack diligence to work hard. I don't know what to do with myself and I don't know how to fix the mess that's my life. The only solution I can think of is to fast things forward and end my life already. I just feel so lost.

I (25f) attend a family reunion out of state. It was the 1st time I would see most of my family in 3-4 years and the first time everyone would meet my 2 Month old baby. For the most part every one was eager to hold her and when some asked to hold her we would just ask them to wash their hands, not kiss on the baby, and to stay in the same room as me. I had real bad post partum depression and was nervous to have her out of my sight with anyone who wasn't her dad. To flash forward a few days it was a 3 day long event and not once did my Aunt(62) ask to hold my baby. If fact she almost made it a point to leave a room as soon as I entered it. It is also important to add she spent 90% of her free hot boxing her car and while I use don't have a problem with it (you do you) I really didn't want my new born around her after one of her sessions. My baby was 4 weeks premature and had to have steroids to aid in lung development both before and after birth. I would like to think on the few interactions with her I was pleasant but we do have a history of her blowing up on me (story for another time). On the trip back home my phone starts to blow up with Facebook notifications because she(my aunt) had decided to go live and broadcast that she had always hated me and I was a bitch and a c u next Tuesday... she ranted on and on about how she tried to help my mom raise me right. Which is a bold face lie as she was never really in my life other then for a few family related meet ups. She talked about how i offended her by not letting her hold my baby when all she would have had to done was ask and as long as it wasnt right have one of her sessions i most likely would have. She finished her live saying how my cousins (who she saw less then me) were her favorites all along and she didnt know how she would recover after i ruined the first vacation she was able to take in 15 years.All the comments on her live were in support of her actions and words and since she is a golden child she managed to turn most of her generation of family against me. It's really starting to get to my head so I have to ask for some unbiased options. Am I the asshole?

Some backstory and context: I (23fNB) live in Virginia with a job as an elementary school music teacher. I’ve only been at this job for one year and I got it right after graduating college last May. Needless to say, I hit the ground running out of college. Coincidentally, my faith crisis started happening around my late junior year and throughout senior year of college. And my leaving coincided with my new teaching job. My parents live in Texas.
I kept my parents in the dark about my faith crisis and subsequent leaving (unofficially; my records are still in), until I started subtly hinting at it the past few weeks. Just letting them know I haven’t been to church in at least a month (try two years now, but I was too scared to tell them that). My mom finally just asked me what was going on with me and church today. I told that it’s been a long time since I felt anything at all relating to the spirit (I didn’t tell her anything about contradictions in doctrine, or the history of the church bothering me, because idk how she would take that). She started crying on the phone telling me that we all feel that way sometimes and to just never stop reading (my scriptures) or saying my prayers because it’s easy to fall away if you’re not keeping yourself active.
I was holding back tears because that felt so invalidating to my experience. I know she didn’t know that, but my gosh. She then told me to drive to DC and sit on the temple grounds and think. I’m totally done with the church. I am not doing that. But I’m also thinking about moving back to Texas soon to live with my aunt a few minutes down the road from my mom. But if I do that, I will be expected to attend church and push down my sexuality (I’m bi/demisexual) and everything I’ve been discovering about myself for the past 5 years. I’d only probably be in Texas for a year so maybe I could survive, but I would be so lonely without any of my friends who actually understand me. The whole reason my mom wants me back home is so that she knows I’m not lonely. And also, I think now that she knows about my faith crisis, she wants me home so she can make sure that I’m going to church.
Idk what to do right now. I am super scared of my dad finding out I’m bi and gender questioning.
Pros to moving back to Texas: I wouldn’t be paying rent at my aunt’s house and I could focus on paying of student loans and car payments. I would be close to family if something were to happen. Especially since a lot of family is old and frail. I would be close to some of my childhood friends again.
Cons: my church-going habits (or lack thereof) would be heavily monitored and probably pushed. I’d basically be putting myself back in the closet. I’d be moving away from a lot of my job network that I’ve built up in Virginia. My school district’s streak of replacing the music teacher every year for the past five years would live on.
Help

Me (18M) and my gf (18f) have been together for 18 months. We’re each other’s first everything. We’ve recently gone through a few-week long mini saga of short lived breakups and now I need advice on what’s right moving forward.
TLDR: Many things about the relationship are great, but there are some things that leave me feeling not completely content. I can’t tell whether these things are meaningful, or whether in reality they are very small things and are not a valid reason to end a pretty healthy relationship.
Here’s the long story:
The breakup saga was first started by me - I broke up with her for reasons that are hard to explain, and were in turn hard to explain to her which made the breakup worse. The best way of describing why I did it was that I felt 70% content in our relationship. Now, 70% content probably sounds pretty good and pretty normal, and it is - a marriage where the couple are 70% content will probably last - but the fact that I am so young and this is my first ever relationship makes it hard to imagine staying in a 70% content relationship for ever and ever. Part of me wants to see what else there is to experience, and that lingering 30% made me constantly wonder whether it was truly the right relationship for me and that’s what made me do the extremely hard thing of breaking up with someone who I love.
It’s probably best that I also try to explain what makes up the 70%, and what makes up that other 30%.
The 70%: She makes me feel loved, truly needed and wanted, comfortable with things that were once insecurities, actually desired, etc. These are all things I struggle to find anywhere else in my life. I have friends, but I don’t really have any close ones anymore - so it’s very rare that I feel like I’m being missed in group settings, or have people who would even notice if I went AWOL for a week. She would most definitely notice. She has such a natural ability to make me feel good about myself and truly loves me for who I am.
Physically, I find her very attractive.
We get along well in general - she’s kind and funny and we more or less share similar interests.
Now the 30%: This is harder to explain. It’s more of a gut feeling that’s come and gone throughout our relationship - it tells me that I’m not completely fulfilled. It’s hard to pinpoint exactly where this gut feeling comes from but I’ll try my best.
I think part of it comes from the actual time we spend together, and what that time consists of. 90% of the time, it consists of me going round to her house, lying in bed with her, being intimate, maybe we’ll watch a movie maybe we won’t, then either I go home or we go to sleep. This gets very repetitive for me - she doesn’t mind it so much. I’ve brought this issue up a couple times before, and we usually have a period of doing other stuff like going out for a walk, baking something, or maybe commit to watching a tv show properly, after I bring it up. But after a while it always ends up going back to the usual routine, almost as if the other stuff isn’t the natural state of our relationship.
Then there’s the things I really enjoy doing, that I don’t feel like we are able to fully do together. For example I’m super into music - it’s one of my favourite things to do (listen to it, go to concerts etc.) and one of my favourite things to talk about with people. She also likes music, and enjoys some of the same stuff as me, but isn’t quite as passionate as I am. We rarely listen together, or recommend each other stuff - it just doesn’t feel natural for some reason and idk why. I think we listen to music in different ways - for me it’s one of my biggest passions, for her it’s something she likes doing while playing games or walking somewhere etc. We both know this, and it’s okay - she doesn’t have to share exactly the same passions as me. But I would really love it if I went over to her house and she was like “Omg you have to listen to this song it’s so good I think you’ll love it” or that sorta thing. Those type of conversations are some of my favourite conversations to have with people, and it doesn’t feel like we will ever really have them.
The same goes for movies - we both like them, but they’re one of my biggest passions, whereas she likes them as an occasional comfort watch. I love watching weird and wonderful stuff, and having weird and wonderful conversations about it, but again it doesn’t feel like those conversations will ever naturally occur with us. Again, like with music, I’d love for us to be bouncing off each other and recommending stuff to each other, but I think she feels under qualified and a bit self conscious to rec me stuff as she doesn’t watch as much as me and knows we kinda have different taste. I feel a similar way - I know a lot of the stuff I watch isn’t really her thing so we don’t really watch it together. We’ll sometimes watch comfort movies together, which is always nice, but I’d love it if we found connect together with other types of stuff too.
So yeah, that’s kinda the 30%. Idk whether those are important things in a relationship, like I said - I’m too young and inexperienced to know. Part of me thinks what really matters is the stuff I noted in the 70% section, but another part of me feels like I’m not as fulfilled as I could be. So yeah that’s really the gist of it.
Now for the rest of the story. After I broke up with her, I came running back - I decided I made a mistake. She eventually agreed to get back together, but then a week or so later broke up with me - she said she wanted to experience more since she is still so young (sounds familiar). I understood, and kinda felt the same way, so the breakup felt kinda right to me (partly also because we were now going out on good mutual terms, and planned to stay friends so hadn’t really faced the hard part of a breakup yet). She said she still wanted to see me regularly (and be intimate with me). I told her I wasn’t sure if that would work, as it just sounded like us going on as normal except we’re allowed to see other people too which I knew wasn’t sustainable and would hurt one of us or both. I didn’t want to never see her again though, and definitely wanted to stay in contact to some extent, so I agreed to meet up with her. We agreed before seeing each other that no matter how good it felt to be with each other again we were not to get back together. So we saw each other a couple times, and it felt great. She has now decided that she in fact doesn’t care to experience thing a with anyone else, and wants to commit to relationship with me again. I’m not so sure. I’m conflicted. While I did have a really great time with her, I’m aware all those feelings are being amplified by the fact we broke up and are now regaining what we almost lost. And I’m also aware of the fact that this fresh excitement will ware off and that 30% that I discussed will return.
The question is does that 30% even matter? That’s what I need advice on. At the moment I’m leaving her in limbo as I can’t decide whether I want to commit to a full on relationship again, which is unfair on her, as she’s sure she does (note that she said she’s never felt the 30% that I claim to feel). I just know I’m not certain about it all, so I’m scared to commit to long term just for it to not be right and I have to hurt her all over again. Oh it’s also worth noting that I’ll be moving 300 miles away in a few months for university, so our relationship would become long-distance. So yeah, any and all advice is appreciated.

When I was growing up, my parents moved us around alot. I have 3 siblings, 1 brother and 2 sisters. We moved around so much I met so many people but I never made any real friends, we stopped moving and stayed in one place for a few years, I made a "friend" there, later I realized he liked my older brother more than me, they were friends, not me. That was a real emotional punch.we all moved and than moved again, and again, and we finally made it to a place called tipton, we stayed there for 4 years, I made a real friend there, and even met a girl I really liked, but she didnt like me in the same way, how could she? Theres so many better, more interesting people around. Tword the end of our time living in tipton, my only friend got a girlfriend and she got pregnant. Thats about the time we stopped talking, He has a life to live now. My little sister at the time, she made some bad choices and met this guy colby, a nastly drug addicted pos, he turn this sweet innocent girl into a heroine using meth head, he knocked her up three times, and convinced her that all the choices she made were our fault. Alot of other stuff happened but shes not around anymore. My big sister moved out back then too, I was still just 17 maybe 18 at the time, my parents decided to buy a rv and leave tipton and took me and my older brother out of state, we went to Colorado. Lived there for 4 years and than went to nevada for 6 months and thanwe came back to our home state when mom and dad lost their jobs, I was never able to finish high school and never made any friends, for the last 5 years we have been traveling in the same old state and just living on what we had.
Whats really been getting to me for the last few years, Is all my life we have been moving, I never had a girlfriend, no romantic relationship, that girl I liked back in tipton, she told me I was too boring, and that I'm not good enough. All the females in the schools I went to mostly avoided me. Im convinced I'm never going to find anyone to be with. On top of that my dad has always been a drinker, lots of beer every night. When he dinks he kinda mentally abused and bully me, more so than when he wasnt drunk, and because of how I grew up I never learned to think fast enough to defend myself with words like most people do, again never had any friends to talk to lile that.
Most recently I moved in with my cousin, Lets call him J, he knows alot about my family and how I grew up, even saw some of it. So when we started talking again, he would ask questions about life, and honestly, I told him the truth about some of it. Him and his girlfriend M, got a home together and weeks later they invited me over to hang out, and we did that a few times, when I first walked into their home it felt lile I was finally back home, about 10 years of not living in a house. It feels different, the two of them said they were already talking about me moving in before I even asked them, so it was a easy yes, I guess. Been here for almost 2 weeks. Theyre the greatest couple I have ever seen.
Ofcourse seeing them be so romantic and stuff, its been hitting me even harder, how much I have always felt alone, been alone, how I will probably never be in a romantic relationship, and at this point thats all I want, its been so bad, I never really though about suicide before. But the months before I moved here It started coming to mind, and now everytime I see them cuddle up or kiss, I get a deep feeling in my chest, my mind feels like its going to fall apart. The other night I found myself just looking at nothing while deep in my thoughts running so many of my problems through my head I started crying. Had to be quite tho, didnt wanna get anyones attention in the middle of the night, I cant ever sleep well and lately its been getting harder and harder to eat.
I dont know what to do with myself. I cant bring myself to commit suicide, so thats off the table, too shy and scared of opening up to J or M even though their so easy to talk to. Theres the two of them and their kids, there so many around me now, I was a part of a family of six and now this family of six has invited me to be here. I still feel all alone.
I bearly get any sleep, I just wanna cuddle up with someone and fall asleep.

I (19F) tried to commit suicide on my birthday a few days ago by overdosing. However, I got scared and took myself to the er, thankfully before any major damage was done. When my mom got the er she was angry and was saying things like “now when you apply for jobs they will see that your mentally sick” and asking me if I’m a lesbian or if I’m sexually active (I’m straight and a virgin lmao) as she was trying to find a reason as to why I attempted. She was calling all of my family members and making me speak to them in the er, so they could also degrade me and tell me how foolish I am. She also told me she would not visit or call me if I was admitted to the hospital.
After she left I was admitted to the emergency psych ward where I stayed for 2 days before they discharged me. The only person who I felt was there for me and listened to my problems was my cousin (she’s actually a family friend but she’s became like a family member to me).
Today was my first day home from the hospital and it’s been hell. My mom was yelling at me, took my phone away, and told me I need to apologize for attempting suicide and causing her stress as she already has health issues. Also, this summer she has already planned a trip to go back home to Africa for a few weeks but she told me I could stay home since I’ll be taking summer classes at my college. Well today she told me to withdraw from my summer classes and she’s gonna buy me a ticket to go with her. I immediately said no because I have no idea what her plans are, and I’ve already seen horror stories of African parents sending their kids back home and leaving them there. She said if I don’t go then she’ll kick me out. Not sure if she’s just bluffing or what but I’m worried.
I don’t know what I’m going to do. I’ve been diagnosed with unspecified mood affective disorder and this situation is making me even more suicidal. I only work on the weekends and make $150-$200 a week which isn’t enough to support myself. I just need some advice or some words of encouragement. Also, if anyone can suggest any jobs I can apply to that have better benefits that would be great as well.
Ps. Sorry if this is too long

Hello Everyone. This is 100% a true story.
I thought this would be a good story to share here as it deals with getting petty revenge on someone who was being transphobic and a horrible person. This is a long story but the ending is worth it.
This story takes place back in 2020 and was just reminded of it by one of my best Friends lets call her "Hannah". Hannah and I had a mutual friend, lets call him Zack. I at the time was just starting to come out as trans. This plays a part later.
Zack and I were friends after I meet him throw an EX, the EX was a good man but I am the type of person that does not do well being friends with EXs but was trying because this EX was a good person. This in the end also I keep talking to Zack and at time thought he was a good guy.
Anyway it was late in fall when Zack brought up moving into together due to I was having a hard time with my family and only had a dorm to live in. During this time he also brought up that he had a friend, Hannah, that was also looking for a place to live as her home life was not great either. I said I would have to her first before I said yes to anything. Hannah was on the same page as me and wanted to meet me first too.
So one day Invited them both over to the dorm I was living in, as if anything went wrong the College I was at had great police (had meet many of them during the time I was at college) this made me feel safer meeting new people. Hannah and Zack came over and me and Hannah hit it off well to the point you would have thought we had been friends for years. There were many times her and I would hang out without Zack, which he never liked. Red flag right there. Due to this I started to see the cracks in Zack's shell.
He was very passive of Hannah to almost boyfriend level. Which got worries after I came out as Transgender. Red flag number 2. He would also try to one up me and say things underhanded about me being trans. Now I am a huge werewolf geek and the underhanded things would be like "I will never be an alpha" or shit like that. Now I never called myself an alpha or anything like that. He also said that I would never have a man's mindsight. I never told Hannah any of this because I wanted to stay her friend and do to my trust problems thought she would take his side so that is all my fault.
One night I was talking to Hannah not sharing everything but told her Zack was pissing me off. She had known him longer then I did. She said that it could be do to his religious background and that could be why he was being a ass. That is when she opened up to me about something.
Turned out they where Friends with benefits. Zack was always wanting to make things more then that but Hannah had been hurt bad by an EX, like almost killed. So she did not trust getting back into any relationship. But felt she was safe with him and thought of slowly building up to a relationship. However she also spilled all the tea on him in bed, and I mean all the TEA!
So lets jump forward a few months to Hannah's Birthday. Zack wanted to host it the first night and then she would spend the next night with me. Hannah was going a hard time with family during this time so we planned a Birthday weekend for her. Turns out Zack invited her over for night before so she would be over one night without me so they could be the Birthday *GIGGITYY*. Well as many people know there is something that happens to most women once a month. Yes, Hannah was on her period. To her defense she did not know what Zack was planning for the night she thought he was just being nice because she got into a fight with her family.
So the next day comes around and they pick me up as I did not have a car. Everything seemed off as Hannah's mood was not normal. I wanted to ask what was up but also thought it was because of the fight with her family so I just wanted to make her happy. The day goes on and we are playing her fav video game. She went to bed early which I thought was odd as the two of us are night owls. I asked Zack what was going on. He said nothing but I could tell he was lying but dropped it.
The next day we get to mail in our city as planned and well Zack was doing something and it was just Hannah and I alone. That is when she told me what was going on between them. Apparently Zack was mad because Hannah did not SLEEP with her the night before I showed up. I was pissed, but then she keep going and he keep pushing and begging for it. to the point that when she said she was on her period he just said "THEY COULD PUT A TOWEL DOWN".
That was it for me I was done playing nice to Zack and started to think of ways to tell him how much of a pig he was. I am the type of person where three stracks your out. Hannah and I are huge nerds and you could say she is some where between punk and goth. So we told Zack we where going to Spencer's. Zack said he was going to go to another store as he hated this store. You see in the frount of Spencer's is a nerd, punk and goth best dream, as for the back of the store is full of sex toys and other adult themed things. Knowing this I told Hannah to pick out something she wanted for her birthday anything, and I would get it for her.
Well Hannah was looking at new pricings and wallets I headed to the back of the store to get some goodies for Zack. I payed for the stuff all without Hannah knowing. Best part the store has black bags that you can't see throw due to the things they sell. After I walked up to Hannah and I bought the things she wanted all to her protest. So she told me she would by lunch witch I agreed too because as friends we hate to feel like we are using each other even on holidays.
We left the store and went to the food court and ordered food. Once we sat down Hannah texted Zack where we were. That is when she looked at the large bag I had gotten and she asked me what I had gotten. I handed the bag and told her it was for Zack. The grin on her face was the best thing that I have seen. You see Hannah is also a very petty person and she very much approved of what I had gotten for Zack.
Zack showed up some time later and we planned to go back to his house so she could her car and her stuff to come to my place for the night. That is when the "gift" was given to Zack. I was putting Hannah's stuff in her car for her and wish I could have seen his face when he first opened bag.
You see when I am hurt I get petty but if you upset someone close to me I get PETTY. In the bag he found a large bag of candy and a few lollypop DICKS. But it gets better, I also got him a female blow up doll. There was also two cards. the first said "Congrats on your new girlfriend" which I signed alone and the other said "suck a mountain of dicks" which we both signed.
The next thing I know Hannah is walking out with the biggest grin on her face. With him storming after her when he saw me he said I was just mad that I would never be a "true man". Hannah turned on her heels but before she could do anything I yelled back "he would never be bigger then my pinky finger". He looked so mad and red. Hannah got in her car, we drove off and never looked back.
This may have been to far but I regret nothing.
Hannah says it was the best birthday gift anyone has ever gotten her due to his face he made when he saw all his new goodies. Hannah and I are still great friends to this day and know we have each others backs on anything.

I’ll try to keep this short but I really need advice. Basically I was accepted into a “bs/md program” in the Caribbean straight out of high school. I’m aware that these schools just want your money but I still wanted to give it a shot because of my parents.
Right now I’ve just completed the first year. This school basically has 2 years online and then 2 years in person at their campus on the island. I’ve never been interested in studying far from home but the one thing about this is that there is no MCAT requirement. On the island they “prepare” you for the USMLE and then help you match back home,, not entirely sure how it works but my parents told me not to worry about it.
To be honest I absolutely hate it. It’s so difficult doing everything myself with no support from any teachers or peers because there are none. Not to mention I’m at home 24/7. Home to me is not a learning environment and I have no social life now. I’ve talked to my parents about leaving this program twice now and somehow they always convince me to continue.
I genuinely want to quit this time and I have a plan but before I do that I just need advice from others if I really should quit. I more or less know how difficult and time consuming the traditional premed path is in the US but I feel like I’m not learning anything right now. This school that I’m currently attending has also allegedly lied about their match and pass rates and I don’t want to regret everything if I actually do end up going to the island. Some advice would be appreciated

So, I cheated on my boyfriend, yes that was my mistake, feel free to judge me personally, but this post is not about that.
TLDR; I ruined the life of a guy I was cheating with and he wanted to ruin mine
Mid of January, I (23M) met this guy (let’s call him D, 35M) on Grindr. I told him straight away that I have a boyfriend (let’s call him F, 45M), so we thought it was just going to be a one-off thing. My boyfriend was visiting his family for a month at that time, a good 12 hours flight from where we are. I lied to him that my boyfriend is okay with me meeting someone else behind his back as long as it didn’t become anything serious. Actually, my boyfriend told me that I’m free to meet anyone else so long he didn’t know, but I’m sure he didn’t mean that as he told me this in a fight.
A was everything my boyfriend wasn’t. F and I were on a rough patch, and communication always became a dead end. He was intimate, and communicative. He desired me and didn’t make me feel lonely in the relationship. Moreover, D wanted to do some sexual things that F didn’t want to do with me. The closer we were, the more intimate we became. Drunk with rose-tinted glasses, I started saying pillow talks that we’ll get married and started naming our children. D paid for almost everything as I was between jobs.
A bit of backstory. D was not originally from this country (Ireland), neither do I nor F. D was here on a study visa, and his visa is about to expire. He met someone almost 2 years ago that broke his heart, and he was in a terrible mental state since, taking medications for anxiety and depression. Last year around December, he took a healing trip around Europe and met this other guy (let’s call him G, 50+M). They met in a beautiful country in the Mediterranean (although G is from another country), so D wanted to move to that country so he could be closer to G.
Anyway, because he was with me and he thought we'd be together, he refused this job (he didn’t get the offer but got an interview for it), and applied to a university (in a course he didn’t want) just so he can renew his visa. He also urged me to break up with F, but I wasn’t sure. F eventually returned, and I said I wanted to be separated from him for a while (in my mind, I didn’t know if D would be able to stay here), and left his place the next morning to D’s place. That day, I ended things with D, because my heart feels very burdened, and I felt like I made the wrong choice. I went back to F’s place.
D then continued to bomb my phone with messages, saying he couldn’t believe this was happening. Eventually, he begged me to meet him one last time for a breakfast to talk things through, and I agreed. I met him in a quite fancy restaurant (for me at least), with flowers, a card, etc. In the end, I melted and when he asked me if we can try this one more time, and he’s willing to be “the guy I’m cheating with”, I foolishly agreed. This was mid February.
From then, he has been trying his best to win my heart, taking me on dates, etc. My mind told me that I should just go with D because 1) he’s come out, and F hasn’t, 2) he loves PDA, while F can’t, and 3) D wants to marry me, while F is already married to a woman. F has been separated from his wife for a few years now, can’t divorce her for many reasons, one of which is because he had children with her. He lives full time with me, even though when his family visited he had to hide me and our things which hurt me in the past.
Anyway, even with all that, I just can’t shake off this wrong feeling. So by the end of March, after D being all jealous the whole month, I broke it off with him. The reason I just realized now: all those feelings that I love with D, I want it from F. And ever since he returned mid February, he’s been nothing but that, so I felt content.
Since we live in the same town, I met D every once in a while accidentally, like in a bus or in a hospital. I have told all these stories to my good friend (let’s call him K, 24M) from work, who had met D but not yet F at that point. I also didn’t come clean to F.
One day, about 3 weeks ago, K told me that he wanted me to go with him and his date to a gay club (he wasn’t feeling safe, and this is after their private lunch). I said yes, because I had nothing to do that day. He then told me that D is coming as well (I forgot if K invited him first or D invited himself before me when he asked K for a gay club recommendation). I had a bad feeling, but eventually said fuck it, what’s gonna happen?
D and I met there. It was awkward, but as the drinks started to take effect, and I started to become tipsy, he asked me if we wanted to “have fun for tonight and forget the next morning”. I agreed. We did have fun dancing (no sex) that night, and he came back to my place, not with the intention to have sex at all (at least from me). Me, still tipsy, was asked by him what happened between us, and one thing led to another… Still no sex, but he came to the conclusion that I manipulated him (love bombing). He asked me if this is true. With the evidence in front of me, I said yes, even though in hindsight, that was never my intention.
From the beginning, I wished that the relationship between me and him was just a hookup, or FWB at best. When romantic feelings started to develop, I genuinely thought that I wanted to be with D. Never once did I think I wanted to play with his feelings or life. But the actions that I did, that he described, is manipulation. So that’s why I said yes.
He got really angry, and threatened me with many things. I was having a panic attack, but he ended that night saying that he forgave me and that he won’t do anything that will harm me. Later on, he texted me that he thinks I have a mental illness (which I also think I have, but I’m still waiting for the diagnosis (my next appointment with a psychiatrist)).
I had forgotten about him, until last week when F left the apartment to buy some groceries in a suspicious manner. I was working from home that day, so I was too busy to worry. I did ask him after about half an hour, and he said he’s gonna come back soon, but I again became preoccupied with work and I didn’t realize he'd been gone for 1.5 hours. I then started to worry that maybe F met with D (something that D has threatened me with as he knows where we live and where F works), so I texted K. He told me to go check, because maybe it was not related and F is in an unrelated danger. But before I left the apartment, D said he’s going to return my stuff.
By then, I knew they met, and lo and behold when I was about to go downstairs I saw them coming upstairs together.
After letting D in, he unpacked his bag and showed F stuff related to us, pictures, gifts. He then unloaded his anger, saying that I ruined his life by manipulating him, that I’m selfish, and that I didn’t regret what had happened so I’m mentally ill. F at this point was trying to calm D down, fearing our safety (bless him). Then, after D left, F and I had the talk.
Basically, F knew from about a week before that. He just focused on trying to calm D, and asked D to not let me know that he’d known because “he didn’t want to see me ashamed in front of him (F)”. D, who’s really set on ruining my life back, didn’t care. But, it was fine for a couple of days, I apologized and put in effort to fix the relationship.
Until D suddenly rang me that he’s outside and he wanted to talk. That day, I just started working, and K was coming over to work together from home for a couple of days. He came in, and told me to pay back what I owe him (around 5kUSD) because he applied to the college because of me. I said yes, and he was about to leave. I went to K (who was in another room closer to the front door avoiding all these because I told him to), and without realizing I said “what the fuck” to him. I also thought it was not loud, but maybe because the situation made the apartment quiet, me and K think D heard. Either that, or he was just really angry, he already left the front door but he barged in again before F could close the door and punched me in the face.
He punched me again a few times on my arms, chest and side belly, until F tried to stop him. I didn’t punch him back, but I did almost kick him because he didn’t let me go. He pushed me back, and F almost fell and hit his head if not for K saving him. F then told me to move away for a bit. I called the police at this point, in case he went berserk. F was recording everything from the get go (voice, legal). Honestly, up until this point, I’m still on the fence about going through with this and going to the police. I also sent about 1kUSD to D while F was trying to calm him down.
The three of us then talk again. D told me that he was looking for me around the city today, and that I was lucky he didn’t see me because he “didn’t know what he’d be doing to me if he saw me, either to punch me and humiliate me in front of many people, or to throw me under the bus”. Now, I was (am) genuinely scared. He also told us that he has been having more severe mental issues, couldn’t eat or sleep, shaking, almost fainted at work. He had to take a higher dose of his medications for anxiety and depression. He left, I was having a quick chat with F that I called the police and he told me not to press charges in case this makes D goes ballistic, and queue the police come (just about 15 seconds after D left the apartment). I believe the police saw his back.
Eventually I didn’t press charges, the police took note of what was happening and a quick background story, and they told me to block him. I’ve blocked him and told my friends to not block him but hide their social media posts from him.
F is in a bad situation now. In the morning after and every morning after that, he was his normal self, caring and all, but after he comes home from work he’s been quiet and stressed. I believe this is partially him trying to process everything and him worrying that D will make another issue, specifically with him at work, and that he’ll be found out that he’s gay. F asked me to run away to a different city just to avoid D if anything were to happen again, but when I asked if he still wanted to try and make this work he said yes.
Honestly, I don’t know what to do.

So, I cheated on my boyfriend, yes that was my mistake, feel free to judge me personally, but this post is not about that.
TLDR; I ruined the life of a guy I was cheating with and he wanted to ruin mine
Mid of January, I (23M) met this guy (let’s call him D, 35M) on Grindr. I told him straight away that I have a boyfriend (let’s call him F, 45M), so we thought it was just going to be a one-off thing. My boyfriend was visiting his family for a month at that time, a good 12 hours flight from where we are. I lied to him that my boyfriend is okay with me meeting someone else behind his back as long as it didn’t become anything serious. Actually, my boyfriend told me that I’m free to meet anyone else so long he didn’t know, but I’m sure he didn’t mean that as he told me this in a fight.
A was everything my boyfriend wasn’t. F and I were on a rough patch, and communication always became a dead end. He was intimate, and communicative. He desired me and didn’t make me feel lonely in the relationship. Moreover, D wanted to do some sexual things that F didn’t want to do with me. The closer we were, the more intimate we became. Drunk with rose-tinted glasses, I started saying pillow talks that we’ll get married and started naming our children. D paid for almost everything as I was between jobs.
A bit of backstory. D was not originally from this country, neither do I nor F. D was here on a study visa, and his visa is about to expire. He met someone almost 2 years ago that broke his heart, and he was in a terrible mental state since, taking medications for anxiety and depression. Last year around December, he took a healing trip around Europe and met this other guy (let’s call him G, 50+M). They met in a beautiful country in the Mediterranean (although G is from another country), so D wanted to move to that country so he could be closer to G.
Anyway, because he was with me and he thought we'd be together, he refused this job (he didn’t get the offer but got an interview for it), and applied to a university (in a course he didn’t want) just so he can renew his visa. He also urged me to break up with F, but I wasn’t sure. F eventually returned, and I said I wanted to be separated from him for a while (in my mind, I didn’t know if D would be able to stay here), and left his place the next morning to D’s place. That day, I ended things with D, because my heart feels very burdened, and I felt like I made the wrong choice. I went back to F’s place.
D then continued to bomb my phone with messages, saying he couldn’t believe this was happening. Eventually, he begged me to meet him one last time for a breakfast to talk things through, and I agreed. I met him in a quite fancy restaurant (for me at least), with flowers, a card, etc. In the end, I melted and when he asked me if we can try this one more time, and he’s willing to be “the guy I’m cheating with”, I foolishly agreed. This was mid February.
From then, he has been trying his best to win my heart, taking me on dates, etc. My mind told me that I should just go with D because 1) he’s come out, and F hasn’t, 2) he loves PDA, while F can’t, and 3) D wants to marry me, while F is already married to a woman. F has been separated from his wife for a few years now, can’t divorce her for many reasons, one of which is because he had children with her. He lives full time with me, even though when his family visited he had to hide me and our things which hurt me in the past.
Anyway, even with all that, I just can’t shake off this wrong feeling. So by the end of March, after D being all jealous the whole month, I broke it off with him. The reason I just realized now: all those feelings that I love with D, I want it from F. And ever since he returned mid February, he’s been nothing but that, so I felt content.
Since we live in the same town, I met D every once in a while accidentally, like in a bus or in a hospital. I have told all these stories to my good friend (let’s call him K, 24M) from work, who had met D but not yet F at that point. I also didn’t come clean to F.
One day, about 3 weeks ago, K told me that he wanted me to go with him and his date to a gay club (he wasn’t feeling safe, and this is after their private lunch). I said yes, because I had nothing to do that day. He then told me that D is coming as well (I forgot if K invited him first or D invited himself before me when he asked K for a gay club recommendation). I had a bad feeling, but eventually said fuck it, what’s gonna happen?
D and I met there. It was awkward, but as the drinks started to take effect, and I started to become tipsy, he asked me if we wanted to “have fun for tonight and forget the next morning”. I agreed. We did have fun dancing (no sex) that night, and he came back to my place, not with the intention to have sex at all (at least from me). Me, still tipsy, was asked by him what happened between us, and one thing led to another… Still no sex, but he came to the conclusion that I manipulated him (love bombing). He asked me if this is true. With the evidence in front of me, I said yes, even though in hindsight, that was never my intention.
From the beginning, I wished that the relationship between me and him was just a hookup, or FWB at best. When romantic feelings started to develop, I genuinely thought that I wanted to be with D. Never once did I think I wanted to play with his feelings or life. But the actions that I did, that he described, is manipulation. So that’s why I said yes.
He got really angry, and threatened me with many things. I was having a panic attack, but he ended that night saying that he forgave me and that he won’t do anything that will harm me. Later on, he texted me that he thinks I have a mental illness (which I also think I have, but I’m still waiting for the diagnosis (my next appointment with a psychiatrist)).
I had forgotten about him, until last week when F left the apartment to buy some groceries in a suspicious manner. I was working from home that day, so I was too busy to worry. I did ask him after about half an hour, and he said he’s gonna come back soon, but I again became preoccupied with work and I didn’t realize he'd been gone for 1.5 hours. I then started to worry that maybe F met with D (something that D has threatened me with as he knows where we live and where F works), so I texted K. He told me to go check, because maybe it was not related and F is in an unrelated danger. But before I left the apartment, D said he’s going to return my stuff.
By then, I knew they met, and lo and behold when I was about to go downstairs I saw them coming upstairs together.
After letting D in, he unpacked his bag and showed F stuff related to us, pictures, gifts. He then unloaded his anger, saying that I ruined his life by manipulating him, that I’m selfish, and that I didn’t regret what had happened so I’m mentally ill. F at this point was trying to calm D down, fearing our safety (bless him). Then, after D left, F and I had the talk.
Basically, F knew from about a week before that. He just focused on trying to calm D, and asked D to not let me know that he’d known because “he didn’t want to see me ashamed in front of him (F)”. D, who’s really set on ruining my life back, didn’t care. But, it was fine for a couple of days, I apologized and put in effort to fix the relationship.
Until D suddenly rang me that he’s outside and he wanted to talk. That day, I just started working, and K was coming over to work together from home for a couple of days. He came in, and told me to pay back what I owe him (around 5kUSD) because he applied to the college because of me. I said yes, and he was about to leave. I went to K (who was in another room closer to the front door avoiding all these because I told him to), and without realizing I said “what the fuck” to him. I also thought it was not loud, but maybe because the situation made the apartment quiet, me and K think D heard. Either that, or he was just really angry, he already left the front door but he barged in again before F could close the door and punched me in the face.
He punched me again a few times on my arms, chest and side belly, until F tried to stop him. I didn’t punch him back, but I did almost kick him because he didn’t let me go. He pushed me back, and F almost fell and hit his head if not for K saving him. F then told me to move away for a bit. I called the police at this point, in case he went berserk. F was recording everything from the get go (voice, legal). Honestly, up until this point, I’m still on the fence about going through with this and going to the police. I also sent about 1kUSD to D while F was trying to calm him down.
The three of us then talk again. D told me that he was looking for me around the city today, and that I was lucky he didn’t see me because he “didn’t know what he’d be doing to me if he saw me, either to punch me and humiliate me in front of many people, or to throw me under the bus”. Now, I was (am) genuinely scared. He also told us that he has been having more severe mental issues, couldn’t eat or sleep, shaking, almost fainted at work. He had to take a higher dose of his medications for anxiety and depression. He left, I was having a quick chat with F that I called the police and he told me not to press charges in case this makes D goes ballistic, and queue the police come (just about 15 seconds after D left the apartment). I believe the police saw his back.
Eventually I didn’t press charges, the police took note of what was happening and a quick background story, and they told me to block him. I’ve blocked him and told my friends to not block him but hide their social media posts from him.
F is in a bad situation now. In the morning after and every morning after that, he was his normal self, caring and all, but after he comes home from work he’s been quiet and stressed. I believe this is partially him trying to process everything and him worrying that D will make another issue, specifically with him at work, and that he’ll be found out that he’s gay. F asked me to run away to a different city just to avoid D if anything were to happen again, but when I asked if he still wanted to try and make this work he said yes.
Honestly, I don’t know what to do.

So, I cheated on my boyfriend, yes that was my mistake, feel free to judge me personally, but this post is not about that.
TLDR; I ruined the life of a guy I was cheating with and he wanted to ruin mine
Mid of January, I (23M) met this guy (let’s call him D, 35M) on Grindr. I told him straight away that I have a boyfriend (let’s call him F, 45M), so we thought it was just going to be a one-off thing. My boyfriend was visiting his family for a month at that time, a good 12 hours flight from where we are. I lied to him that my boyfriend is okay with me meeting someone else behind his back as long as it didn’t become anything serious. Actually, my boyfriend told me that I’m free to meet anyone else so long he didn’t know, but I’m sure he didn’t mean that as he told me this in a fight.
A was everything my boyfriend wasn’t. F and I were on a rough patch, and communication always became a dead end. He was intimate, and communicative. He desired me and didn’t make me feel lonely in the relationship. Moreover, D wanted to do some sexual things that F didn’t want to do with me. The closer we were, the more intimate we became. Drunk with rose-tinted glasses, I started saying pillow talks that we’ll get married and started naming our children. D paid for almost everything as I was between jobs.
A bit of backstory. D was not originally from this country, neither do I nor F. D was here on a study visa, and his visa is about to expire. He met someone almost 2 years ago that broke his heart, and he was in a terrible mental state since, taking medications for anxiety and depression. Last year around December, he took a healing trip around Europe and met this other guy (let’s call him G, 50+M). They met in a beautiful country in the Mediterranean (although G is from another country), so D wanted to move to that country so he could be closer to G.
Anyway, because he was with me and he thought we'd be together, he refused this job (he didn’t get the offer but got an interview for it), and applied to a university (in a course he didn’t want) just so he can renew his visa. He also urged me to break up with F, but I wasn’t sure. F eventually returned, and I said I wanted to be separated from him for a while (in my mind, I didn’t know if D would be able to stay here), and left his place the next morning to D’s place. That day, I ended things with D, because my heart feels very burdened, and I felt like I made the wrong choice. I went back to F’s place.
D then continued to bomb my phone with messages, saying he couldn’t believe this was happening. Eventually, he begged me to meet him one last time for a breakfast to talk things through, and I agreed. I met him in a quite fancy restaurant (for me at least), with flowers, a card, etc. In the end, I melted and when he asked me if we can try this one more time, and he’s willing to be “the guy I’m cheating with”, I foolishly agreed. This was mid February.
From then, he has been trying his best to win my heart, taking me on dates, etc. My mind told me that I should just go with D because 1) he’s come out, and F hasn’t, 2) he loves PDA, while F can’t, and 3) D wants to marry me, while F is already married to a woman. F has been separated from his wife for a few years now, can’t divorce her for many reasons, one of which is because he had children with her. He lives full time with me, even though when his family visited he had to hide me and our things which hurt me in the past.
Anyway, even with all that, I just can’t shake off this wrong feeling. So by the end of March, after D being all jealous the whole month, I broke it off with him. The reason I just realized now: all those feelings that I love with D, I want it from F. And ever since he returned mid February, he’s been nothing but that, so I felt content.
Since we live in the same town, I met D every once in a while accidentally, like in a bus or in a hospital. I have told all these stories to my good friend (let’s call him K, 24M) from work, who had met D but not yet F at that point. I also didn’t come clean to F.
One day, about 3 weeks ago, K told me that he wanted me to go with him and his date to a gay club (he wasn’t feeling safe, and this is after their private lunch). I said yes, because I had nothing to do that day. He then told me that D is coming as well (I forgot if K invited him first or D invited himself before me when he asked K for a gay club recommendation). I had a bad feeling, but eventually said fuck it, what’s gonna happen?
D and I met there. It was awkward, but as the drinks started to take effect, and I started to become tipsy, he asked me if we wanted to “have fun for tonight and forget the next morning”. I agreed. We did have fun dancing (no sex) that night, and he came back to my place, not with the intention to have sex at all (at least from me). Me, still tipsy, was asked by him what happened between us, and one thing led to another… Still no sex, but he came to the conclusion that I manipulated him (love bombing). He asked me if this is true. With the evidence in front of me, I said yes, even though in hindsight, that was never my intention.
From the beginning, I wished that the relationship between me and him was just a hookup, or FWB at best. When romantic feelings started to develop, I genuinely thought that I wanted to be with D. Never once did I think I wanted to play with his feelings or life. But the actions that I did, that he described, is manipulation. So that’s why I said yes.
He got really angry, and threatened me with many things. I was having a panic attack, but he ended that night saying that he forgave me and that he won’t do anything that will harm me. Later on, he texted me that he thinks I have a mental illness (which I also think I have, but I’m still waiting for the diagnosis (my next appointment with a psychiatrist)).
I had forgotten about him, until last week when F left the apartment to buy some groceries in a suspicious manner. I was working from home that day, so I was too busy to worry. I did ask him after about half an hour, and he said he’s gonna come back soon, but I again became preoccupied with work and I didn’t realize he'd been gone for 1.5 hours. I then started to worry that maybe F met with D (something that D has threatened me with as he knows where we live and where F works), so I texted K. He told me to go check, because maybe it was not related and F is in an unrelated danger. But before I left the apartment, D said he’s going to return my stuff.
By then, I knew they met, and lo and behold when I was about to go downstairs I saw them coming upstairs together.
After letting D in, he unpacked his bag and showed F stuff related to us, pictures, gifts. He then unloaded his anger, saying that I ruined his life by manipulating him, that I’m selfish, and that I didn’t regret what had happened so I’m mentally ill. F at this point was trying to calm D down, fearing our safety (bless him). Then, after D left, F and I had the talk.
Basically, F knew from about a week before that. He just focused on trying to calm D, and asked D to not let me know that he’d known because “he didn’t want to see me ashamed in front of him (F)”. D, who’s really set on ruining my life back, didn’t care. But, it was fine for a couple of days, I apologized and put in effort to fix the relationship.
Until D suddenly rang me that he’s outside and he wanted to talk. That day, I just started working, and K was coming over to work together from home for a couple of days. He came in, and told me to pay back what I owe him (around 5kUSD) because he applied to the college because of me. I said yes, and he was about to leave. I went to K (who was in another room closer to the front door avoiding all these because I told him to), and without realizing I said “what the fuck” to him. I also thought it was not loud, but maybe because the situation made the apartment quiet, me and K think D heard. Either that, or he was just really angry, he already left the front door but he barged in again before F could close the door and punched me in the face.
He punched me again a few times on my arms, chest and side belly, until F tried to stop him. I didn’t punch him back, but I did almost kick him because he didn’t let me go. He pushed me back, and F almost fell and hit his head if not for K saving him. F then told me to move away for a bit. I called the police at this point, in case he went berserk. F was recording everything from the get go (voice, legal). Honestly, up until this point, I’m still on the fence about going through with this and going to the police. I also sent about 1kUSD to D while F was trying to calm him down.
The three of us then talk again. D told me that he was looking for me around the city today, and that I was lucky he didn’t see me because he “didn’t know what he’d be doing to me if he saw me, either to punch me and humiliate me in front of many people, or to throw me under the bus”. Now, I was (am) genuinely scared. He also told us that he has been having more severe mental issues, couldn’t eat or sleep, shaking, almost fainted at work. He had to take a higher dose of his medications for anxiety and depression. He left, I was having a quick chat with F that I called the police and he told me not to press charges in case this makes D goes ballistic, and queue the police come (just about 15 seconds after D left the apartment). I believe the police saw his back.
Eventually I didn’t press charges, the police took note of what was happening and a quick background story, and they told me to block him. I’ve blocked him and told my friends to not block him but hide their social media posts from him.
F is in a bad situation now. In the morning after and every morning after that, he was his normal self, caring and all, but after he comes home from work he’s been quiet and stressed. I believe this is partially him trying to process everything and him worrying that D will make another issue, specifically with him at work, and that he’ll be found out that he’s gay. F asked me to run away to a different city just to avoid D if anything were to happen again, but when I asked if he still wanted to try and make this work he said yes.
Honestly, I don’t know what to do.

I need advice, though this is partially to vent, I want to get my thoughts and feelings out there, so that maybe something someone says can help me. I (F18) live in my childhood home with my father (M55), mother (F50), sibling (NB14), sister (F21) and brother in law (M23). I get along great with everyone, except for my father. I've known my father, mother, and sister as long as I can remember, my sibling is 3 years younger than me, and we've known my brother in law for about 5 years.
In childhood, my father was never really present in our lives. He worked a normal job with normal hours, but when he got home all he did was watch TV. I remember this very distinctly as we were kicked off the TV at 5, when he came home. Even when he was off of the TV, he was distant and never really involved with us. Even when he did take one or more of us out, it was just to something we liked for a small amount of time, then we had to go to a hardware store or something with him for hours. All of us quickly learned to not accept his offers of going to McDonald's for a quick meal. He'd occasionally trick us, saying it was a reward for something, then drag us somewhere anyway.
His distant behavior became worse when his dad died, and his mother came to live with us. To make a long and horrible story short, she put me and my sibling through hell, bullying us about weight, appearance, behavior and anything you could ever think one would nitpick children for. This was when I was 13-14, and it left a lot of issues for myself and my sibling to deal with. At first he denied anything was happening, but then it got so bad I slipped to my therapist that I wanted to end my life, and he took me seriously after that. My father's mother was kicked out, but I was in rough shape.
Ever since then he has treated me like a fragile flower, always trying to say things like "You can always talk to your mom or I", but he knew this wasn't the case. I could never bring up anything with him as he would just tell me to go to mom, and never really supported me emotionally. He has depression and anxiety just like myself and my sibling, but unlike us he doesn't take his meds or go to therapy; he basically just doesn't do anything to improve himself.
But it really got bad when my sister graduated from high school and moved out. She had been with her boyfriend for about 3 years when they got engaged, and were married. This sent my father on a downward spiral. According to my mother, he had a bad drinking problem in the past, and had calmed down for a while, but this is when it started up again. My sister was always his obvious favorite; she looked like him, was athletic, smart, extroverted, and she had none of the mental issues he did. So her "leaving" him was very hard. He just couldn't deal with her growing up. I think it was partially because he never spent time with us, since after that he kept asking me to spend time with him, but at that point I had checked out of the relationship as much as he had.
He started spending more time in front of the TV. It really didn't help that he had an injury at work and had surgery on both of his shoulders, and he was being bullied when he did work. At this time, my mother had gotten a job to help pay for everything, and I was mostly home with my father, and he decided this meant I would do everything-all of the chores, cleaning up after him, cooking... everything my mom would normally do. They operated on his non-dominant shoulder first, so he could've helped, but no, he's just a poor helpless baby. I was 16 at the time, and also trying to learn to drive. His "driving lessons" consisted of him scolding me occasionally if I did something wrong, but not helping me learn at all.
I wanted to find a job, but between school and taking care of the house I was unable to. I got an allowance, but it was rather pitiful, and didn't even partially compensate me for the hours of endless work. Then there was an incident. My mom had told me to watch out for him when he'd been drinking, and I can easily tell when he was drinking. This was a day where I could tell he was drunk, but he came in asking for my help with something. He said that our truck was having issues and he wanted to look at the engine, so he asked me to help him wipe it off. I agreed. I went out with him, and my "helping" him was him watching while I wiped off the hood. Then he started to get angry.
I was focusing on the hood since he said he needed to lift it to look at the engine, but he told me to focus on the windshield. I was obiviously confused, but he grabbed another wiper and started to violently break apart the snow and wiping it off. I was still confused and kept wiping off the hood, but that made him more angry. He was moving in a way I knew would hurt him, but he was now raising his voice with me, angry and showing it. I started to dissociate, as that is my coping strategy, so I don't remember the exchange very well. All I know was there was a lot of swearing and yelling and calling me useless. Eventually he threw down his scraper and stormed off to the house.
I remember I was cold, sad, and I wanted to cry and run off into the woods never to be seen again. I wanted to scream, sob, punch a wall; but I did none of that. All I did was stand there for a while, then remember it was garbage day and take the garbage cans down. When I got inside, he was in his chair, watching TV, whistling to a song. I went to my room and cried. I hated myself, him, and the world so much, and that day I broke a streak of almost a year of self harming. I wanted to do more, but my dog helped me not to.
I wish I had let him go. I wish I had let him drive. At that point I still had some slight love for him, and that made me want to prevent his death. I honestly regret that now. He often got mad and snapped at mom, but it was never directed at me before. I knew that mom, with all the stress she was going through with her job and being both the house- maintainer and breadwinner wouldn't be able to handle that he had snapped at me. So I downplayed it, just telling her what happened and she said he probably either wanted fast food or alcohol, both of which he is addicted to. I still haven't gotten an apology.
I'm going to skip over some time here, as honestly his behavior is too frequent and habitual to mention every frustrating thing, so I will fast forward to the worst of it. A few months before my sister's wedding, it got really bad. He had yelled at my mom a few times, and every time we just took the dogs into our rooms, and we had gotten door knobs with locks specifically for this sort of thing. It happened often enough that all it took was a text to the other, and my sibling and I knew what to do. The worst happened on March 23rd, 2023. I don't know how it started; we never knew, but it didn't matter. The worst part is, my sibling was stuck in the bathroom when it started, right next to where my dad was screaming at my mom. They can't use that bathroom now when he's home because of this.
All I knew was I got the text and got our 2 dogs in my room. All I could hear (I was on the 2nd floor and this happened on the 1st) was how my mom was a bad person, getting the kids to hate him, she was a female dog, etc. Again it's a little fuzzy, but it got worse when he got to the 2nd floor. When you get to the top of the stairs, to the right there is their bedroom, and down a short hallway there is a bathroom and 2 bedrooms, one being my sister's old room. He went in to their room, and all I can remeber is him screaming over and over, "And you can just go F YOURSELF", all while slamming their bedroom door.
He did this for a while. All I know is that I, my mom, and my sibling all recorded it, but I am not willing to listen through that recording to figure out how long he was yelling at the top of the stairs, but the recording is 10 minutes and 47 seconds. Eventually his slamming of the door got too forceful, he broke the whole door frame, and the door ended up wedged in the staircase. He knocked himself out in this process somehow, and was out for a while. When his friend came (mom had called him), he even tried to fight him, but he was put into bed. He says he doesn't remember this whole night.
There was an intervention after, with mom and his friend, and he agreed to stop, or at least slow down. He didn't. There were some more screaming fits, and the last major one was in the beginning of December. But now, instead of screaming, he'll just get mad and snap at mom for nothing. I hate seeing her cry, and this affected my sibling and I as well. My sibling hates him, and is just waiting for him to die. They felt conflicted about this at first, but after father corrected himself after using their correct pronouns and made a comment around them about how anyone who's trans is just mentally ill, they lost the tiny sliver of affection they had for him. I have done my best to be a good older sister, assuring them it's normal, and helping them come to terms with their feelings. Now they just say we really are just waiting for him to die, and they feel nothing towards this idea.
Father has gone to therapy once, after a screaming fit where I wrote down how much him doing this made me want to die, but he says he doesn't want to go back. He continues to drink, and to not take his meds. My reason for this post was yesterday. Mother's Day.
Despite both mom and I working later than him, he still does minimal house work. If he does anything, it is to empty the dishwasher into the dish drainer, then bug mom for praise. Mom, sibling and I do almost all of the housework. I thought maybe he'd pitch in on mother's day, but no. I told mom she was not allowed to do any housework, and I did all of the laundry, dishes, cleaning, etc. The only thing I couldn't do was cook. But then, as I'm cleaning off the countertop and the table, father walks in and asks mom, "So what are you planning on doing?"
I wanted to punch him. He had been drinking, too. He'd been at least slightly drunk since noon. But HOW DARE HE. I think that was when I lost all hope for him. Then mom said, "I was just gonna leave it to you", and he had the audacity to look surprised, and even a little mad. He then walked away, I think to get stuff, but I don't care. I looked at mom, and she had the same baffled, amazed, and angry look I assume was on my face. But she looked a little sad, too. He couldn't do even this one thing on his own, on mother's day.
I had been angry with him for a long time, but at that it just grew into this huge raging fire. I hate him. With every bit of me. His disrespect and unwillingness to fix himself made me want to scream at him, give him a taste of what he gave us. But I couldn't. For the rest of the evening, mom couldn't just sit there; he needed to know the temperature and time things needed to cook, and she was just so frustrated.
Everything's at a boiling point. I want to tell him off, tell him how I feel, how much he's hurt everyone, and just how much I hate him. But I know I can't. If I do, he'll take it out on mom. Mom's too stressed already, as her job is hard and she's saving to separate if needed. She won't divorce him, since he could take the house, though they are both on the title, and she doesn't want to risk it. He's unhealthy as it is, my sibling is right; we really are just waiting for his liver to give out from all of the alcohol. But still, I am having a hard time living in the same house.
Sorry for the length, I get long winded when emotional. I'm just ignoring him for now, but I feel like my emotions could explode any day. Please give any advice you have. Thank you all.
TL;DR!: My father who is abusive has made me reach my limit, but I can't say anything. If I do, he'll yell at my mom, and I don't want that. I can't move out and she doesn't want to risk a divorce, in fear of losing everything, what do I do?