Care plan coumadin

Hey all!
I'm a 26 year old guy from the Netherlands and I work as a web developer. I just got back from hiking a bit near the sea and I'd like to chat with some fun people!
A little bit about me: I love listening to lots of different music, stuff like Andy Stott, Joy Orbison, Joy Crookes, Ahmad Jamal and Immolation to name a few. I also collect vinyl records. Hit me up with recommendations if you have any! Other than that I like making electronic music myself as well, spending time in nature, photography and trying to keep my plants alive.
Personality wise I'm an INTP (if you care about MBTI), I think a looot and I like researching random topics!
If you’d like to chat, send me an invite and tell me a little bit about yourself or what your plans are/were for today! I would prefer something longer term, but short term chats are fine too!

Background: I (38M) have a 4 month old with my ex-gf (34F). I am the sole earner for our the household, she still lives with me with the baby. Each paycheck I give her what I can so that she always has some spending money, usually she gets equal or more money from me every two weeks than what I have for myself after paying all the bills and buying all the food. This money is around $350-400 every two weeks. I do this because she and I had a baby and the initial idea was for her to be a SAHM. Unfortunately our relationship crumbled during the pregnancy because IMO she has severe untreated mental illness that she refuses to deal with. We both come from VERY traumatic childhoods, but hers was much worse than mine...and mine was pretty damn bad.
Needless to say the pregnancy was a rollercoaster, she didn't work except for about 3 weeks the entire pregnancy, which I was fine with. What I wasn't fine with was her repeatedly breaking up with me and getting back together, leaving while I was at work to fly to stay with her friend, and absolutely destroying my apartment and breaking all my valuables in a rage because of something she read on my phone between my best buddy while I was asleep about how some girl was attractive. We patched things up and I sent a ticket for her to come back to try and be a family, but she would NEVER move on from any of our extremely stupid and small issues in the face of having a child. It was like I was supposed to apologize 800 times a day for perceived sleights 6 months ago, and no exaggeration she said outright that I should spend the rest of my life apologizing. I asked her how a relationship like that was even possible, but she did not have an answer.
So eventually I was done and broke things off with her because of how toxic the situation was and her emotional moodswings and threats to me. Since having the child all I do is try to maintain peace and order in my house for our kids' sake, to have stability and try not to damage him psychologically from the drama and erratic behaviors of his mother. She goes out and does not tell me where she's going, leaving me with the baby on weekends, and also will not tell me when she is coming back, or if she does, she will turn up often 4-5 hours after when she said she would be home. She will ruin my ability to make any weekend plans ever because she refuses to stick to a schedule or communicate maturely.
I have documentation that the first overnight trip she took was when my child was approximately TWO MONTHS OLD, I think being away overnight from a 2 month old is wildly inappropriate, and she has been leaving the child for overnights on weekends with "friends" pretty regularly ever since. Last night though (thurs night) was a new low, she woke me up at 2:30am to say she was going to her girlfriend's house who just had a baby because her husband had to take the mother in law to the hospital, and that she would stay with her until I got home from work the next day at 7. I told her I thought that this is inappropriate to be taking a 4 month old out of its home at 3am with people she barely knows, and also, that as his father she's interrupting my ability to sleep and work to provide for my son because I am not going to be able to sleep when my kid is leaving my home at 3am randomly. We got into a big argument about this but it is 100% clear she cares more about this husband and wife than she cares about me as my child's father, and she even referenced how my child prefers it over there and that her gf's husband "made her food", I literally make dinner for her constantly and provide all the groceries for our home.
I feel like she is being erratic and does not make good judgements at all and doesn't value stability (which is why we are not together anymore), and I fear for my son growing up in a chaotic, emotionally confusing environment. I hate hate HATE this so much and don't know what to do. I have no family who can help with any kind of childcare but I worry that I will have to pursue custody if this keeps up. AITAH for thinking my child should not be leaving home at 3am for some OTHER family's emergency, as a four month old?

Hey everyone! Sorry for the long wait, the story is not abandoned, I just got a bit lost in other stuff and have fallen out with the world of NoP a bit. I will continue the story, through I can't promise a new chapter every month.
On another note, I am quite proud of this chapter, this is definetly my favourite one, and I enjoyed expanding on Velnils past and mental health. (And tormenting him, of course. Nah, just joking. xD)
Thank you for creating this beautiful universe!
Also thanks to for proofreading!
Criticism is very much welcome, let me know what you think!
Enjoy!
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Memory transcription subject: Velnil, Arxur deserter Date [standardized human time]: 25th of October, 2136, Middle of the night
CW: panic attack, hallucination, self harm
[Note: Dream state detected. Reliving memory. Proceed? (Y/N)]
[Y]
The cold seeped deep into Velnil’s scales as he trudged up the hidden path of the forest, up onto a small hill where a single, just barely alive tree stood still. There was no wind, no new smells and no sound. It was calm, eerily calm, forcing Velnil to periodically stop and look around, seeing if anyone had followed him.
Every time, there was nothing. It was just the empty forest, filled with dying trees and withered bushes. There were a few animal bones here and there sticking out of the ground, but he did not care enough to spare a glance at them.
As he ascended higher and higher on the small hill, he felt as his breathing slowly returned to normal from the usually used powerful intakes and blowouts. He took a slow, deep breath, as he arrived at the tree, letting the cold air run into his lungs, and calming down his beating heart. He was here again. The only question was if he was really alone or not.
“Frostbubble, are you there?” He asked, almost in a whisper as he looked around, moving towards the tree. It still felt strange to use this nickname, but if it kept her safe and happy, he was more than glad to use it.
“Aww, you did come, Velny.” The voice was almost sickeningly sweet for Velnil’s ears, but he knew it was because of everything he had been learning. The warmth in his chest was just another proof to it, as he noticed her lanky shadow climb down from the tree, keeping a small bag up with her tail as she did so. He felt a slight blush creep onto his face as she hopped down, and quickly approached him.
“How have you been? I hope they didn’t manage to rough you up too badly this time.” The care in her voice made Velnil shutter and relax at the same time, as her hand landed on his arm, caressing the scar he had first received for insubordination.
He was four back then.
“No. I’m okay, Zar… Frostbubble.” More warmth filled his chest at her wide toothed smile. “They didn’t get me this time. I managed to trick them.”
“So clever and cunning, Velny.” Her grating chuckle, while repulsive to his ears, was music to his heart. He felt a soft pressure on his hand as she took it, and began leading him to the other side of the tree, facing away from the facility, and out towards the dying wilderness. The view has always filled him with dread, seeing as nature had slowly withered away with his feelings, only to eventually be replaced by even more factories and facilities. It was truly as if the planet felt his pain, his suffering as he was slowly broken down, only to be replaced by the ideals and will of Betterment.
They sat down on the ground, neither of them caring about the cold, as they leaned back a bit, looking up at the night sky. Everything was so calm, yet Velnil couldn’t keep himself from looking around, listening for any noise that could tell him they were not alone.His anxiety only grew, until he felt a soft touch on his chin. He let his head be turned back towards her.
Her smile was horrible(line through) beautiful. The shine of her eyes as she looked at him so calmly, like they weren’t in constant danger of being found out and killed. It angered him, but at the same time, it filled him with a strange feeling. It was still so alien to him, he never felt it before, only when he was with her.
“We are safe here, Veln. Don’t worry so much about it. I am always watching and also making sure that no one is following you. You don’t need to turn around that often. Let yourself relax a bit.” It didn’t make any sense. How could he relax? They were out and about without the knowledge of the masters, they were going against the rules.
She is not even supposed to be here. She was never in the facility.
He opened his mouth, but couldn’t say anything as she closed it, playfully flicking one of her claws on his snout. He shook his head, incredulous about what just happened.
“I know that look, Velny. Relax, just for this once.” As she leaned forward, his heart rate spiked, the alien feeling shooting up like fire as warmth filled his face at the feeling of her nuzzling his snout. He leaned towards her, eyes half-lidded as he felt his muscles relax ever so slightly. Perhaps Zartha is right. He could relax with her, and not be on the lookout for any danger that may be around them.
“Maybe… maybe you are right, Frostbubble.” He mumbled, his eyes closing momentarily as his snout moved to rub at her throat, with a sharp intake of air coming from her.
“Veln, I…” Zartha stopped for a few seconds, prompting Velnil to lean back a bit to look at her. She looked… troubled? Unsure? No, it was something else. Her eyes fluttered while looking all around, as if searching for danger, but they always returned to him, at which point she flicked with her tailtip, until it snagged at her satchel.
“I made something for you.” Velnil cocked his head as he watched her pull out a thermos, quickly unscrewing its top. He watched as steam rose from the thermos, filling the air with a sweet scent, creating an even more serene atmosphere.
“It’s Trilltilla tea. It took a long time, but I wanted to make it for you.” Velnil watched as she presented the top part of the thermos for him. Slowly reaching out, he took hold of it, their hands touching as their eyes met. The shining in her eyes, the way her irises grew, her tail that wagged more and more. He was sure she felt the same strange feeling he felt, as his tail wagged as well, albeit slowly.
He then took hold of it properly, lifting it up to drink. There was no need to say thanks. She knew he was thankful for it.
“So, this is where you have been sneaking off.” Velnil jumped up and whipped around, the top of the thermos falling to the ground as its contents spilled. Next to the tree stood his master, with two burly arxur standing on either of his side. The scowl on his master's face told him everything. They saw everything, the two of them have been found out.
It was over for them.
Zartha slowly stood up, to which one of the arxur moves so quickly to her, it was almost a blur. A painful yelp came from her as she was punched in the gut, tumbling forward, but she wasn’t allowed to fall to the ground. The arxur kept her up, while his master and the other moved in.
“So, you must be Zartha. I have heard quite a lot of you. A disgrace to our kind, really.” His master’s voice was full of contempt. Velnil didn’t dare to speak, nor did he dare to move, lest he might lose his head.
Or worse…
“I’m no disgrace. The only disgrace here is how you trea-” She wasn’t allowed to finish. Master didn’t allow her. The arxur holding her punched her again, forcing the air out of her lungs.
“Tssk. Such a waste of resources. This one is unfixable.” As his master’s eyes landed on him, Velnil felt himself freeze under the glare. “But you will still be redeemed, boy. Oh, you will be. I will make sure of that. You are allowed to return to your dwelling, at this instant.” His heart didn’t want to, but his mind knew he must move. Velnil’s legs, almost like he was on auto-pilot, moved, one after the other, as he began making his way down. He heard as his master turned to address the other arxur.
“Find its father and wipe its disgrace off this world. Then find its mother, and make sure that woman brings a proper arxur into this world.” An acknowledging grunt was the only answer.
The cold seeped deep into Velnil’s scales as he made his way down the hill, the warmth escaping, leaving him with a cold, painful pressure on his rumbling stomach that yearned for her tea.
But it will never feel its warmth.
~~~
Growling, and pressure on his stomach was what woke Velnil up. On instinct, he striked with his right arm, his sharp claws swiping at nothing. His head swiveled around, with no need for his eyes to adjust to the darkness of the night, trying to find whatever was threatening him.
There was nothing.
Velnil began to work on calming his breathing as he tried to listen, focusing on the nightly sounds of the forest, seeing if he can hear the soft running of paws, or the strong thumps of human legs.
Again, there was nothing.
With a grumble, he rolled onto all fours, sniffing around and looking for any clues on what might have growled and pawed at him.
The sound repeated itself, this time however, Velnil felt the painful clamps of his stomach as it rumbled loudly, seemingly discontent with the lack of food inside of it. With the realization that he is just hungry - very much so -, Velnil got into a bipedal stance, and began making his way towards the farm.
Looking around as much as he could see of the sky, it must have still been well into the night. He could have just checked it on his holopad, but then his eyes would have to adjust to the dark again, and he would possibly give away his location - after all, he could never know if something or someone was watching him.
The night was annoyingly cold, but it was nothing like what he had to survive during his training. It molded him, made him stronger, able to ignore the cold seeping into his bones and keep on going.
He always had to keep going.
He promised it.
Velnil didn’t know how long he was walking when another rumble left his stomach, this time however, his mouth began to water at the enticing smell his nostrils had caught. It was a familiar smell, divine even, and the bigger breath he took, the more it filled his being, as the picture practically smashed itself into his mind.
Krakotl.
Yumm.
Dropping onto all fours, he made his way towards the source of the smell, taking great care to avoid stepping on a branch, or making any noise that might give away his position. He froze, and silently cursed himself at another rumble of his stomach. Do you want to be filled or not?! If so, be silent!
His stomach did not respond. Good.
Continuing to stalk forward, the smell started to become stronger as the wind carried it to him. Reaching another, much smaller clearing, he hid inside one particularly big bush, easily seeing out of it.
There, in the gentle moonlight kneeled a young, healthy looking krakotl. Its feathers reflected the moonlight beautifully, and he could make out some kind of red pattern on the otherwise greenish plumage that covered it. From scent alone he could tell that it was a female, possibly the same age, or maybe older than he was.
It was just the right age. He could feel himself salivating as he watched it do something, it had its back to him, he could jump out and just get it!
His muscles tensed as he prepared himself, but a sudden thought of realization of where he was exactly forced him to stop, tensing up even more as to not jump. Just then, the krakotl leaned back up, revealing what it had been doing.
Velnil felt himself recoil a bit at the sight of the familiar flower. How did the krakotl get it here?! Who even allowed it to plant that? Why…?
The slits of his eyes slowly rounded out as he watched the light of the moon shine onto the flower, prompting it to slowly unfurl, revealing five sickly green colored petals, with a bright blue colored inside. Velnil felt himself lowering onto the ground, his eyes becoming blurry - but why?
Reaching up, he felt something wet in his eye - tears. He was… crying? Why was he…
It is what she used to make tea for you that day. The memory hit him like a plasma bolt. The flower - Triltilla, or Lover’s poison as some used to call it, was a rare flower from the krakotl turned arxur colony world. Interestingly, the prey was the one that came up with the nickname for the flower - it was said that when the lover made tea from the petals, it’s effect depended on the care that was put into it - the petals had to be cleaned from any pollen, then cured and dried for the right amount of time, which was then followed by making the tea. If the maker of the tea put the proper care to it, it worked as sort of a love potion - it helped with maternity and helped the mates bond.
But if even the slightest mistake was made, if the maker wasn’t careful enough, the pollen, or not drying it for the proper amount of time greatly changed its effect - causing severe pain for whoever drank the tea, and in some cases, even death.
It was dumb. Of course it was, it came from a prey infested world that was cleansed by his ancestors!
And yet, that single flower was one of her favorites. He never truly understood why, but of course, how could he.
He was well into his training back then. He saw it as her weakness. One of her oh so many flaws that plagued her ability to live as a proper arxur.
Oh, because you always lived as a proper arxur? Came the sudden response to his thoughts, feeling another pang of pain from his stomach as he once again wiped a tear from his face. He forced back down a slight growl as he looked back up at the prey, his tongue running over his lips as he kneaded the ground beneath his paws. He wanted to to jump out, to strike, to once again taste his favorite food.
Could he really kill through?
A third, this time much louder rumble had escaped his stomach, it seemed this time the prey had heard it.
“Hello?” The prey’s head whipped around, staring at his general direction, as her soft trilling voice rang out. “Is anyone there?” Another question rang out, it sounded so young, and yet, he watched as his prey’s eyes slowly went over her surroundings, forcing Velnil to slightly pull back, and close his eyes until there was only a slight line visible.
As he imagined how it would taste, his tongue running over his lips, the krakotl took a tentative step forward, eyes still scanning the treeline.
“Lia, is that you?” As Velnil finally got over the fight inside his head, his hunger slowly winning, he prepared to pounce, his eyes opening more ever so slightly as his claws dug into the dirt a bit.
“Aw, damn it. How did you know?” Once again, Velnil almost stumbled out of his hiding spot as a sudden voice came from somewhere to his right. He watched as the prey turned their head towards the voice, as Velnil barely held back an angry hiss at the appearance of a female human.
The woman, referred to as ‘Lia’ seemed to be around [180cm] in height, as she made her way over to the krakotl with surprising silence. Light brown hair flowed down her back, tied into a ponytail. Similarly to other humans, she was also wearing fake pelts, with surprisingly light colored blue jeans and light green shirt.
For a second, Velnil wondered how the human does not shiver from the cold, but his mind quickly wound up with another question: how in the twisted wriss does she hunt in such light clothes? What other thing could she do here at a time like this?
“I didn’t. You scared the… Why are you even here?” The krakotl puffed its feathers up as it turned its head to its side to glare at the predator in front of it. Albeit the body language of the prey showed slight alarm and trepidation, its voice was surprisingly calm, maybe even reproachful. The human seemed to also take note of its voice, putting up her hands as she looked at the prey.
“Oh, I’m sorry miss ‘I go for a walk into the forest in the middle of the night’”. At this, the krakotl seemed to deflate, lowering their head a bit, but not for long, as the human stepped up to them, and brought their head back up with what he assumed was a gentle touch. “I just woke up to being cold, and after waiting a bit, and looking and not finding you, I became worried. Besides, what do you expect if my living, breathing blanket suddenly disappears?” The human chuckled, which was soon joined by the prey's own chuckling, extending a wing to strike at the human.
“Oh, hush, you! It’s not my fault your only protection is your strange pelts! Plus, why are you not wearing anything else, aren’t you cold?” A slight worry in its tone was sickening to listen to, as Velnil continued to watch the two interact, until the human female suddenly stopped, snapping their head towards his direction, accommodated by a cracking sound, which was then followed by the woman groaning, and massaging their neck.
“Shit.. That hurt…” She mumbled. Both the prey and Velnil seemed to jump slightly at the sudden movement, albeit for different reasons. As the prey started worrying over the human, Velnil pulled back even more, laying completely flat on the cold ground as his heart beat even faster. Impossible, this is impossible! The wind is coming from their direction, I was as silent as a night stalker, how could she know I’m here?!
His question wasn’t left unanswered, which confused him greatly.
“Are you okay? What was that?” Asked the krakotl for the third time, thankfully silenced by the human.
“Nothing, nothing, I just… I thought someone was looking at me. I could feel whatever it was.” At the answer, the krakotl tilted its head in confusion, clicking its beak a few times in contemplation.
“You… felt something staring at you? But… how? Aren’t you humans… you know?” The meek thing shrunk a bit again, but was quickly calmed by the human, who ran their hand over their back.
“Eh, it’s hard to explain, and it’s quite late. Let’s just say that sometimes we just get this… feeling of being watched. I have to say, it wasn’t the best idea to come out here without a flashlight, now that I think about it. This place gives me the creeps.” The human seemingly shuddered as she looked around, while the prey looked even more confused.
Before it could say anything however, the human sighed, and turned back to the krakotl.
“Anyways, we should probably head back, Suyla. I heard that tomorrow we will have a… not so good surprise. So we should probably, at the very least, get well rested.” At this, the krakotl seemed to realize something, as they huddled closer to the human, looking around with fear.
“Do you think that it’s… here?” It asked, its voice quivering a bit as the human put their hands on its back, trying to calm the prey.
“Well, I saw Rich arrive, so he must be already here somewhere.” At this point Velnil realized they were talking about him, and he held back a growl once again. He watched as the human led his catch away, leaving him with an empty stomach and an even sourer mood.
“NoT sO gOod SuUrPRisE..” Velnil mimicked mockingly, growling to himself after the human and his food left, grabbing and squeezing a handful of earth as he sulked. This is so dumb, as if the humans would be any better! They are weak and pathetic predators! Even he could take on a few of them! Probably.
Yeah, and you would get yourself killed. And prove them right.
Whatever! He thought to himself with a rumble. It’s not like I care about what they think.
Of course you don’t. Otherwise you would have to accept you are a-
Silence! Growled Velnil as he shook his head. For a few moments, he waited for a reply, but when it didn’t arrive, he raised his chin smugly.
He was about to get up to be on his way when he heard some rustling in front of him. Looking up, he noticed something that looked a lot like a sivkit, except it was wrong in almost every aspect, except for its eyes. He watched the animal approach the newly planted flower, and Velnil scoffed as the animal began to sniff at it.
Dumb prey. You don’t even know what that is, and you just approach it. As Velnil watched the animal, his eyes widened, and time seemed to slow down as he saw it open its mouth.
Oh no, you won’t. With a growl, he sprung from his hiding spot, his maw opening wide with razor sharp teeth as he caught the prey just before it could turn and run.
The metallic taste was a welcome sensation.
~~~
Velnil hummed a low tune for himself as he was walking back to his clearing, his hunger somewhat satiated as he let the cold air fill his lungs to their capacity. With his hunger sated for the foreseeable few hours, he could think a bit more clearly about his situation.
This place looked nothing like a farm. At least, not how a cattle farm would look like, but even those places had parts where they grew prey food to feed the cattle.
So if the humans are not going to keep cattle on this farm, apart from the alien one, why grow so much on such a big area? He knew humans can eat prey food, as revolting of a thought it was, they all could just eat more meat. Do they really care that much about the walking and talking prey that they don’t eat meat because of them?
Bah. Of course they care about their cattle. That way they won’t run away.
Though, the more he thought about it, the less sense it made. Do they really not eat the alien cattle that are here? Albeit he only just arrived, the animals didn’t seem to be scared at all. That woman - Lia, was his name, if he remembered correctly - even went out into the cold night to find her feathered ‘friend’.
Growling softly, he shook his head, banishing the line of thought to the back of his mind. He didn’t need to think about this - it was useless when it came to his survival. He knew the humans would do anything to save cattle - even if said cattle bombed them. If it needs to be, he can always take one as a hostage, and on the other hand - he probably could still get at least one of the prey riled up enough to attack him.
That will be spectacular.
But what else could he do? There was one saying he saw on a human website that described his current position quite nicely - He was a wolf among sheep. A wolf in sheep’s clothing. He had to get them to lower their guards, to not view him as a threat, but rather, one of those weak useless arxur who cannot do anything right.
Oh, you have experience in that, don’t worry.
“Shut. Your. Mouth.” He hissed to himself, stopping in his tracks as he looked forward. His arms shook slightly, but he forced his hands into fists to stop it.
What’s the matter, Velnil? Forgot about me so quickly? You hurt my - sorry -, our feelings.
“I said shut up!” Growling filled the air as Velnil leaned forward, the shaking moving to his shoulders.
Why should I? We are no longer in the Dominion. Betterment can’t get a hold of us. We are free.
“We are not free… We will never be.” growled Velnil suddenly turning to swiftly strike at a tree. He winced from the pain shooting through his right hand, but he didn’t care. He didn’t want to feel. He shouldn’t feel anything.
But we are. We ran away, fooled the humans, fooled their prey. We could go where we want. Or stay here. Live a new-
“This is NOT my home!” Velnil yelled. “This will never be. I am not free, just a damned prisoner of another species! I can never be as free as I want to be!”
And what would you call being free? Not like you would know it, of course. I can see it, after all. You know nothing about being free. You are just-
“Shut up! Shutupshutupshutup!” Velnil yelled as he began hitting his head against the tree, each time his body shaking in pain while the tree stood steadfast.
Unmoving.
Uncaring.
Emotionless.
With tears in his eyes, he slunk down against the tree, his breathing fast and uneven. The shadows danced around him, waiting in silence, waiting to pounce on his weak form. The sounds of the night sky became howls of predators, the ground further ahead opened up, the rotten, clawed hand of an arxur suddenly appearing at the edge of it, pulling it’s body up, revealing a set of familiar yellow eyes.
“V-veeeeelniiiilll” Groaned her corpse as she pulled herself up, taking a step closer. His breathing fastened as his eyes were trained not on her head, but her torn open neck.
“No… No… I- I didn’t…” His whines were left unanswered as her corpse took another step towards him, an arm reaching out as one of her eyes fell out, leaving the empty socket as a void to peer into and devour his weak soul.
“I didn’t want to!” He yelled, trying to crawl away, but the tree behind him didn’t let him. “I never wanted to! I-I-I wanted to keep you safe, but I-”
“Veeeeeel-” The corpse sighed out, before taking in a shallow breath - her torn open throat moving along with the action, opening to let air in, before she continued. ”-nyy.” Another step, then as he blinked, she was standing over him. A startled whine left him as he scooted back even more, pressing against the tree as she reached out.
“I’m sorry! I’m so fucking sorry, I wanted to save you, I did!” He screamed hiding away behind his arms as he shouted one last thing: “I loved you!”.
As he shrunk back even more, his breath slowed, his head became woozy as soon his consciousness began to slip away, hearing her speak one last time.
“Veeeeeelnnnyy.”
~~~
Velnil came back to consciousness with a start, head rapidly turning around as his breath hitched, until pain shot through his head. With a wince, he pulled himself up, gingerly touching his head - his scales were damaged, and blood was dried on his head. He winced slightly as pain shot through both his head and right hand.
Shit. They will definitely notice this… He thought to himself as he took a ragged breath. He looked where the hole had appeared - there was nothing, the ground was undisturbed. His gaze lingered on it, before he eventually turned, and continued to make his way towards his clearing, still in the darkness of the night, like nothing had happened.
It has been so long since the last one. Why now? Why is she tormenting me? His questions were left unanswered. He forced himself to stop, and after taking a deep breath, he looked around, listening for any nearby river or something. Sniffing around, he could feel the smell of water off in the distance, and so, he began making his way there.
I need to wash off the blood.
Within a few minutes, he had found a large river, the water flowing down with relative force. Kneeling down at its edge, he leaned forward, and began cleaning his head and hand with practiced, almost robotic movements. The proof of his weakness stinged and flared up at the cold touch of water, but he did not care. He watched as the water slowly took on a red hue, before disappearing down the river.
Within another few minutes, Velnil could easily make out the outline of the injury - it wasn’t too big, but it was most definitely noticeable, and will take days - if not a few weeks - to properly heal. He could hide it, since he was still somewhat bigger than everyone else - but then that would go against his plan on appearing meek and unsure about things.
Maybe I could use it. Play it off as having a bad night. Maybe I could get them to give me more food than they planned. The humans are very empathetic, I’m sure that after seeing this, they would feel bad enough for me to somewhat drop their guard. Maybe I can even fool some of the prey. Yes, that, being attacked by one should be enough for them to not view me as a threat.
Satisfied with the plan, Velnil got back up, and with a sigh and a few minutes of walking, he finally made his way back to the clearing. Lying down on the cold ground, he carefully rested his head atop his bag once again, looking at nothing in particular.
His next few minutes were filled with rolling around, unable to go back to sleep, as his thoughts were slowly but surely going back to the krakotl he saw. The green feathers, adorned by a red pattern, its yellow beak, and similarly yellow eyes.
Yellow eyes that stared deep into his soul.
The yellow eye that has fallen out of its socket, to leave an empty void to devour his soul.
Velnil forced his eyes shut, turning around again. Not again. He thought, forcing himself to think of other things - the taste of the prey animal he caught, his way towards Earth, the russif.
Eventually, within a gruesome few minutes, Velnil was finally granted the sweet release of sleep.
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1, (15 F) was invited to be a part of my friend (15 F, we will kill her K)'s quince court, and happily accepted. if you dk, quinceañera is a huge birthday party that many Hispanic girls have when they turn 15, celebrating their coming of age. The quince court is made up of the birthday girl’s closest friends, who learn multiple dance routines to perform at the party. Naturally, dance routines and choreography require lots of practice. Our court includes me, K, and 14 of our closest friends. I knew there would be drama when I signed up for the court because multiple people involved don’t get along, and K is often involved in drama outside of this group. However, I agreed because we’ve been friends since elementary school. So far, we’ve only had two practices. It’s summer, and the party is still months away. Most people have attended at least one of the practices, if not both, but a few have missed due to prior commitments or family emergencies. K is struggling to find dates that work for everyone. Several of us have told her it will be hard to find dates that fit everyone’s schedule and that we can try practicing without our partners since we all dance with partners. Multiple members have offered advice, such as practicing at home with a video or practicing without our partners. We’ve also suggested practicing earlier in the morning, later in the afternoon, or on weekdays instead of weekends. We understand that people have jobs, but most teenagers don’t work all day. K has rejected these ideas, making it extremely difficult for everyone. There’s a couple in our group chat, R and J, who escalate problems by name-calling, picking fights, and making a big deal out of simple conversations. It feels like they enjoy causing problems and making the drama worse. Usually, we suggest a date, a few people can’t make it, and then K makes snide comments about how we need to “tell our mommies and daddies” to clear our schedules. K doesn’t have strict parents, unlike several others in the group, and often makes disparaging remarks about us not being available every day. K insists we should prioritize practice over family obligations, which many of us simply can’t do. We are teenagers, not adults, and can’t make decisions without our parents’ permission. We are trying our best, but it seems to go unnoticed. Once, K even said she doesn’t care if our grandfather is dying; she expects us to show up to her practice and forget our priorities because it’s her day and it needs to be perfect. R and J will then name-call those who are unavailable, complain about others’ suggestions for different practice times, and play the victim when told to stop. Ironically, R doesn’t even like K and once spent an hour at a sleepover badmouthing her. J doesn’t like anyone in our friend group, yet he still hangs out with us and causes drama, leading to problems with his girlfriend, R, who we’ve been friends with for years. This behavior overwhelms K, who then stops communicating for several days and expects us to show up without giving us details. Other people cause problems on the group chat as well, but it’s mostly these three. Many of us have complained outside the group chat about the constant drama, fights, and rude attitudes. Some have even compared K to a bridezilla. I understand K’s frustration and know how important this is to her, but her rudeness, including giving friends the silent treatment for weeks, is problematic. She has always been a problematic person, but it’s never been this bad. She complains about the lack of communication in the group chat, yet she rarely texts there herself. This hypocritical behavior led one of my best friends, O, to drop out of the court because the stress and fighting have strained her friendship with R. R and J have a toxic relationship, and the longer they date, the ruder and more problematic R becomes. This has caused drama within the friend group, except for a small group of four of us. The quinceañera planning is adding to the drama, pushing O and R apart, and causing friction among several others. At this point, there’s more drama than necessary. K is not communicating properly and is blaming us, and nothing is getting done. It feels too stressful and like a waste of time. I want to drop out, but I don’t want K to be mad at me since I made a commitment. I love my friends, but I don’t know if I can keep this up.So, AITA for wanting to drop out?

Hello there lovely people
I come to you in a time of need. I’m gonna start off with the disclaimer that I’m probably just too inexperienced to know the answer to the following questions. But that is why I’m here. To get answers and experience.
So. I started into a fresh campaign yesterday. I’m the GM, and my 4 players are all good people. I’ve played with most of them before. They are very passionate and love what they are doing. And I’m very happy to have them.
One of my players has build an alchemist. And had this plan in mind of making an amazing crafting build, crafting cool stuff and helping the party and being useful.
But today he approached me with frustration. He researched more into the crafting rules and what he found discouraged him a lot. To make it clear I’m not talking about feats associated with crafting, or the skill checks. Just about the crafting system used to actually craft stuff.
It seems like the possibility’s are very limited. Crafting seems to have almost no benefit over just buying the item. You have to spend tons of time to actually get any benefit from crafting instead of buying. And together with the complicated system in general it seems to frustrate him a lot.
He asked me if we can change something about the crafting rules. Anything to make it better. And to make it superior to buying. To give his character purpose and to preserve his vision of the character.
The only thing I could answer is that I’m too inexperienced to just change rules drastically. Pathfinder is a very carefully crafted system. Everything has its reason. That’s why I usually only do very slight homebrew that’s mostly for flavor.
I don’t know if the crafting system how it is now is fine and balanced. Or if I would destroy it with changes. I’m just not experienced enough.
I offered him to slowly implement very soft and subtle buffs to crafting, increasing them over time if it still feels bad. I offered that in the hopes of making him happy but also not fucking everything up by changing to much too fast.
My questions are:
Is crafting, the actual crafting of items, good how it is now?
Is it balanced? Is it too weak? Or too strong?
If you would want to make changes to it, what would those changes be?
Any help and advice is much appreciated!

I posted here just over 2 weeks ago saying I wasn't sure if I was ready to make the call, but our lease is done at the end of this month so it'd be a lot more complicated if I waited and said something with a fresh lease already signed. A few days after that I knew there was no way to be with him any longer, but I kept delaying looking for the right time. He was busy with work or I didn't want to do it too close to bedtime so we could process a bit before worrying about the shared bed. Today he has a day off and I planned it. Before I told him I told some friends that it was happening today so I couldn't back out. I don't think I could've done it sober so I had 2 shots at like 10am which feels really gross but I'm not really a drinker to begin with. I told him as soon as he was up and moving.
The first thing he said was "this is a conversation I should be wearing pants for" as he was still in just his boxers. When he came back to the livingroom 2 minutes layer his first questions were how long did I know and does this mean I was never attracted to him. I explained (with a slightly shortened time frame of knowing because I felt bad about stringing him along for a couple extra weeks) and said I was attracted to him foe the vast majority of our time. He kept telling me he was proud and that I'm brave and we agreed that we're still best friends and the relationship wasn't a waste of time or anything bad. I still do love him, just not in a romantic way, and once the dust has settled he's also interested in remaining good friends. I'm going to stay at my parents for a night or 2, then spend the next few weeks on the couch or a camping pad in the office (he's trying to offer me the bed but I can't do that to him on top of this). We were making jokes through the tears and we plan to at least finish the show we've been binging (last season) in the next few weeks while we live together.
I wish I didn't have to do this but I know we both deserve to be with someone we love and who loves us in a compatible way. I've always gotten into serious relationships faster than I've meant to after a breakup so I'm going to have to be careful about that, but I do want to date casually this summer once I've had some time to process everything. My hope is that I can finally buy a small apartment for myself in the next year or so since he wasn't ready to buy a place but now that I need less space it's an option.

Hi everyone, I live in the state of Virginia, although I have been working as a travel nurse throughout the compact states. I would like to get some opinions and advice if anyone has been in a similar situation. While working on a contract in Tennessee , I found myself in a tough situation. The hospital was severely understaffed, with most shifts us med surg nurses take 8+ patients. On this particular night, I was the charge nurse and had a nurse with a severe migraine, to the point of being debilitated and not being able to take care of her patients. Despite taking ibuprofen, Tylenol, and fiorecet, her migraine did not get any better. I called the nursing supervisor who said there was no one to cover and she was not allowed to leave or she would be reported for patient abandonment. Stuck between a rock and a hard place, I was asked to place an IV and give her IV fluids , as that typically helps. Now again, I was a travel nurse here so I was not aware of this hospitals policies and procedures. I had seen this nurse get multiple other staff members to do this for her. I complied and did just that. About two weeks later, my contract was over and I was on my next contract two states away. I got a call from the old hospital asking about the situation. I did not lie when approached about it, I was honest. The woman I spoke to was kind and said she understood and to not do it again as it could be seen as theft of materials from the hospital. Obviously thinking back, I think of how stupid it was to do this and I know I am in the wrong, I’m not denying that. I thought it was over after that. About a week later, I got a call from my travel agency saying the hospital had reached out to them and were planning on reporting me to the board of nursing for “prescribing without prescribing authority”. I got cancelled by that company for the next contract and was forced to move back home. My question is, has anyone been in this or a similar situation ? And if so , what was the outcome? What else can I do ? I’ve tried to research with no luck, only reading it can be months before I get any contact from the board of nursing that I have been reported. Any advice would be helpful . Thanks !

1, (15 F) was invited to be a part of my friend (15 F, we will kill her K)'s quince court, and happily accepted. if you dk, quinceañera is a huge birthday party that many Hispanic girls have when they turn 15, celebrating their coming of age. The quince court is made up of the birthday girl’s closest friends, who learn multiple dance routines to perform at the party. Naturally, dance routines and choreography require lots of practice. Our court includes me, K, and 14 of our closest friends. I knew there would be drama when I signed up for the court because multiple people involved don’t get along, and K is often involved in drama outside of this group. However, I agreed because we’ve been friends since elementary school. So far, we’ve only had two practices. It’s summer, and the party is still months away. Most people have attended at least one of the practices, if not both, but a few have missed due to prior commitments or family emergencies. K is struggling to find dates that work for everyone. Several of us have told her it will be hard to find dates that fit everyone’s schedule and that we can try practicing without our partners since we all dance with partners. Multiple members have offered advice, such as practicing at home with a video or practicing without our partners. We’ve also suggested practicing earlier in the morning, later in the afternoon, or on weekdays instead of weekends. We understand that people have jobs, but most teenagers don’t work all day. K has rejected these ideas, making it extremely difficult for everyone. There’s a couple in our group chat, R and J, who escalate problems by name-calling, picking fights, and making a big deal out of simple conversations. It feels like they enjoy causing problems and making the drama worse. Usually, we suggest a date, a few people can’t make it, and then K makes snide comments about how we need to “tell our mommies and daddies” to clear our schedules. K doesn’t have strict parents, unlike several others in the group, and often makes disparaging remarks about us not being available every day. K insists we should prioritize practice over family obligations, which many of us simply can’t do. We are teenagers, not adults, and can’t make decisions without our parents’ permission. We are trying our best, but it seems to go unnoticed. Once, K even said she doesn’t care if our grandfather is dying; she expects us to show up to her practice and forget our priorities because it’s her day and it needs to be perfect. R and J will then name-call those who are unavailable, complain about others’ suggestions for different practice times, and play the victim when told to stop. Ironically, R doesn’t even like K and once spent an hour at a sleepover badmouthing her. J doesn’t like anyone in our friend group, yet he still hangs out with us and causes drama, leading to problems with his girlfriend, R, who we’ve been friends with for years. This behavior overwhelms K, who then stops communicating for several days and expects us to show up without giving us details. Other people cause problems on the group chat as well, but it’s mostly these three. Many of us have complained outside the group chat about the constant drama, fights, and rude attitudes. Some have even compared K to a bridezilla. I understand K’s frustration and know how important this is to her, but her rudeness, including giving friends the silent treatment for weeks, is problematic. She has always been a problematic person, but it’s never been this bad. She complains about the lack of communication in the group chat, yet she rarely texts there herself. This hypocritical behavior led one of my best friends, O, to drop out of the court because the stress and fighting have strained her friendship with R. R and J have a toxic relationship, and the longer they date, the ruder and more problematic R becomes. This has caused drama within the friend group, except for a small group of four of us. The quinceañera planning is adding to the drama, pushing O and R apart, and causing friction among several others. At this point, there’s more drama than necessary. K is not communicating properly and is blaming us, and nothing is getting done. It feels too stressful and like a waste of time. I want to drop out, but I don’t want K to be mad at me since I made a commitment. I love my friends, but I don’t know if I can keep this up.So, AITA for wanting to drop out?

1, (15 F) was invited to be a part of my friend (15 F, we will kill her K)'s quince court, and happily accepted. if you dk, quinceañera is a huge birthday party that many Hispanic girls have when they turn 15, celebrating their coming of age. The quince court is made up of the birthday girl’s closest friends, who learn multiple dance routines to perform at the party. Naturally, dance routines and choreography require lots of practice. Our court includes me, K, and 14 of our closest friends. I knew there would be drama when I signed up for the court because multiple people involved don’t get along, and K is often involved in drama outside of this group. However, I agreed because we’ve been friends since elementary school. So far, we’ve only had two practices. It’s summer, and the party is still months away. Most people have attended at least one of the practices, if not both, but a few have missed due to prior commitments or family emergencies. K is struggling to find dates that work for everyone. Several of us have told her it will be hard to find dates that fit everyone’s schedule and that we can try practicing without our partners since we all dance with partners. Multiple members have offered advice, such as practicing at home with a video or practicing without our partners. We’ve also suggested practicing earlier in the morning, later in the afternoon, or on weekdays instead of weekends. We understand that people have jobs, but most teenagers don’t work all day. K has rejected these ideas, making it extremely difficult for everyone. There’s a couple in our group chat, R and J, who escalate problems by name-calling, picking fights, and making a big deal out of simple conversations. It feels like they enjoy causing problems and making the drama worse. Usually, we suggest a date, a few people can’t make it, and then K makes snide comments about how we need to “tell our mommies and daddies” to clear our schedules. K doesn’t have strict parents, unlike several others in the group, and often makes disparaging remarks about us not being available every day. K insists we should prioritize practice over family obligations, which many of us simply can’t do. We are teenagers, not adults, and can’t make decisions without our parents’ permission. We are trying our best, but it seems to go unnoticed. Once, K even said she doesn’t care if our grandfather is dying; she expects us to show up to her practice and forget our priorities because it’s her day and it needs to be perfect. R and J will then name-call those who are unavailable, complain about others’ suggestions for different practice times, and play the victim when told to stop. Ironically, R doesn’t even like K and once spent an hour at a sleepover badmouthing her. J doesn’t like anyone in our friend group, yet he still hangs out with us and causes drama, leading to problems with his girlfriend, R, who we’ve been friends with for years. This behavior overwhelms K, who then stops communicating for several days and expects us to show up without giving us details. Other people cause problems on the group chat as well, but it’s mostly these three. Many of us have complained outside the group chat about the constant drama, fights, and rude attitudes. Some have even compared K to a bridezilla. I understand K’s frustration and know how important this is to her, but her rudeness, including giving friends the silent treatment for weeks, is problematic. She has always been a problematic person, but it’s never been this bad. She complains about the lack of communication in the group chat, yet she rarely texts there herself. This hypocritical behavior led one of my best friends, O, to drop out of the court because the stress and fighting have strained her friendship with R. R and J have a toxic relationship, and the longer they date, the ruder and more problematic R becomes. This has caused drama within the friend group, except for a small group of four of us. The quinceañera planning is adding to the drama, pushing O and R apart, and causing friction among several others. At this point, there’s more drama than necessary. K is not communicating properly and is blaming us, and nothing is getting done. It feels too stressful and like a waste of time. I want to drop out, but I don’t want K to be mad at me since I made a commitment. I love my friends, but I don’t know if I can keep this up.So, AITA for wanting to drop out?

So I’ve (22f) been dating this guy, (23m) for 7 years this month. A couple months ago him and my roommate (24f) got really drunk one night and threw up everywhere so they took a bath together. I walked in and to my knowledge it wasn’t inherently sexual but they were sliding their body’s all over eachother to wash their hair and stuff. They had told me they did this once before aswell because they are always getting drunk together. Not so much anymore thank god but then after the bathtub incident our roommate wanted all of us to cuddle w her, she’s quite the oddball. To be fair I never wanted to live with her in the first place but that’s besides the point.
She gives my man her underwear and bathrobe to wear and he puts the on (!?!?!) and they both fall asleep in her tiny lil bed. I couldn’t wake him up to take him back to bed so he just stayed there the rest of the night.
I’ve also been arguing with him about not walking around the house naked when she’s home and he will argue that with me and tells me he does not see a problem with it.
Im still trying to just comprehend everything that’s happened because before our roommate I thought I was gonna marry this dude, we’ve only had eachother and he was always taking care of me and so kind and patient. Now he doesn’t care, gets angry all the time when he never got angry ever before. He has bought her flowers and none for me. He has been avoiding me and spending a lot more time with my roommate. Oh and the kicker! He wants us to move out separately and I told him he is not to move in with our roommate considering what has been done. He doesn’t know I know but they plan on moving out together behind my back…
I just am struggling to cope and having a hard time calling it cheating because I don’t wanna believe it’s true. I am breaking up with him next month when the lease ends and I have an exit plan. I just want someone else’s insight.

I am meeting with a local broker on Monday. What questions should I ask? I've been direct for 15+ years, havent ever needed to switch but I am thinking a change might be nice. I plan to ask the obvious questions like what do they pay, what tech do they have besides encompass, and if they don't have any specific programs that I currently write loans on. What other questions would you ask? I have a database of over 2k past clients so bringing a book of business I don't care about company gen leads, I don't get them anyways where I am at. I'm on my wifes insurance benefits so I also don't care about benefits. One thing i'll lose is the 401k match which is nice to have. I'm also licensed in multiple states, and this brokerage's name is "city" mortgage so it is location specific, would that look weird to a referral from out of state? Maybe a DBA would suffice?

Hi,
I took out a serious health insurance with Vitality through lifesearch. I’m relatively happy with that policy but wanted to tweak a few things and also buy additional income protection insurance. While the advisor sounds like a nice chap and he’s spent a good few hours talking to me, I had a few issues:

1. He initially said Vitality wouldn’t quote for me, and recommended I go with AIG. A few months later the AIG quote expired due to my NHS GP not providing my data in time to them for verification. He then came back to me, and said he’d now recommend going with Vitality instead as AIG was getting bought by another company and was experiencing delays etc. Lost a bit of trust there - as I specifically remember him saying Vitality wouldn’t quote for me the first time around. Could give the benefit of the doubt on this one.
   
2. I send emails asking a lot of questions, but tend not to get answers. He does seem to prefer talking on the phone than via writing. However, I prefer written communication. To be fair, I do ask like 10-15 questions in an email. 😅
   
3. One of the info he gave me about Vitality’s insurance was plain wrong. He said Vitality online GP service was included in the serious illness insurance, but Vitality later told me that it’s not. This seems quite bad. It would have been a lot better if he said he doesn’t know.
   
4. Not very thorough. For example I asked for a quote for income protection - after I had already bought a serious illness product from him. However, after 3 emails so far, the quote still isn’t what I asked for. The mistakes are very silly. E.g. I asked for a 2 year deferral period on all 3 emails, but each time the quote had a 3 month deferral period.
   

Overall, I feel like if I’m patient I’d probably get most of what I need from him, but it’s kind of frustrating. I also wonder if I’m now less important to him since I’ve already purchased a policy. I wish I could deal with someone more efficient and thorough and trustworthy.
My questions:

1. Does my experience sound like it’s the norm? ie are my expectations too high?
   
2. Is it possible to request a different advisor from Lifesearch? Has anyone done so and found it a better experience.
   
3. Will Vitality refuse to deal with me directly now that I’ve already got a policy with them through Lifesearch? This is what I’m most worried about. Don’t want to be chained to a potentially bad advisor for ever.
   
4. The serious illness insurance I got says - “Your plan excludes Total and Permanent Disability Cover and Dementia and Frail Care Cover as part of your Serious Illness Cover.” Just not sure if that’s an important caveat. Seems to be included by Vitality normally. Anyone had experience needing this particular thing?
   

I’m currently working as a nanny for an amazing family that is expecting their second child soon! Recently, my boss informed me that they hoped I would agree to be “on call,” 24/7 for approximately a month, to provide care for their firstborn when MB goes into labor. While I want to be as helpful as possible, this expectation feels quite overwhelming and outside the scope of my usual responsibilities.
Adding to this, the conversation at hand was sparked when I informed my MB casually 2.5 months in advance that I was currently working out details for my vacation dates in late summer to give them formal PTO notice. This vacation falls right within the timeframe they’ve assumed I could be on call. My boss’ additional backup care is their parents. I was told they would be available as backup care during this timeframe. However, they would rather use me since I am located closer and the child is more comfortable in my care.
I have yet to give a definitive answer to their request because I, unfortunately, have no flexibility in my PTO dates since my fiancé works in health care (if ykyk) and was approved for specific dates. I feel horrible ): I’m sure it will feel as though I’m essentially declining their request to go on vacation…but this was not my intention as I was not made aware of my role in their birth plan until PTO/vacation was mentioned.
I want to ensure I approach the conversation gently and in the best way possible with these points in mind-

• Reiterating my commitment to supporting them during this important time (possibly committing to being on call before and after my vacation as a compromise) • Communicating my boundaries about the on-call request. • Highlight my previously discussed vacation and give PTO notice 

1.) Any advice is welcomed concerning the situation. 2.) I would love any advice or suggestions on how to frame this conversation effectively, professionally, and with kindness… I want to be respectful and supportive, but also clear about my limits and commitments.

Hello my glorious subreddit. It is I your supreme chancellor.
A few of you will be noticing that bans have been going out a lot more regularly. This is as intended.
But it’s time I introduce you to phase 2 of my plan. Introducing our sister subreddit schaffrillasoffmenu.
This is going to develop into a subreddit that can contain a lot of the chaos of this subreddit, and be a more unhinged place for banned members. Standard rules apply to be civil and treat eachother well. There are lines there still. But I think it will go a long way in providing another place for your more unhinged posts, and maybe build a life of its own.
The harsher ban policy will be retained in this subreddit so be careful what you post here.
That is all, have fun, and be safe.
Your Supreme Chancellor Lord Crabbington IV

hello! my boyfriend and i are planning a trip to punta cana in december and are struggling to decide on where to stay. i think we’ve narrowed it down to either excellence punta cana or lopesan, so would love to know your thoughts on which one is better.
we are 23 and 25 and want a place with good food, drinks, and entertainment. we aren’t huge partiers so we don’t care about that, but would still like a lively atmosphere with things to do during the day and at night.
looking at prices, we can get the cheapest room at lopesan for $2,325. at excellence we can get an upgraded excellence club room for only $2,186 and that would include transfers to and from the airport.
i have seen very positive and very negative reviews for both resorts, so would love to hear if anyone has experience at either. i’m leaning towards excellence because of the better room for a cheaper price, but lopesan also looks gorgeous and i’ve heard the beach is better there

Ok, I know how the title sounds, but before ya’ll grab your torches and pitchforks, let me give you some background info. Also, sorry that it's a long post.
I (35 female) met my husband (40 male, we’ll call him Tom) 11 years ago. We were both still in the party phase of our twenties at that time. We drank and parties a lot,and had jobs where that sort of lifestyle was common (I was a waitress, and he had also worked in restaurants). During this time, my money was never well spent (obviously), and I got my car repoed twice, and had to move in with him to survive. This really made him reevaluate our current lifestyle.
Tom dragged me into a healthier lifestyle kicking and screaming. I still wanted to party, but I didn’t want to lose him. What we didn’t know at the time is that I had undiagnosed severe depression, anxiety, and PTSD. The party lifestyle was my way of self-medicating, and we didn’t find this out until much later.
I ended up getting a job as a medical assistant, and he finished his degree and got a government job. We moved across the country, got married, and had a baby, all while I didn’t really have a solid grasp on my mental health struggles.
After the birth of our daughter, I realized that I still had a lot of work to do in order to become the mother that she deserved. I finally saw my doctor about my struggles, got into talk therapy, and was placed on medication. It took a couple of tries, but I am finally on a good regimen, and my mental health is better than it has ever been.
I also took the birth of my daughter as an opportunity to quit my job and start working on a degree of my own. This is where the roles in Tom and my relationship started to become a problem.
As soon as we discussed my plan to go to school, Tom took it upon himself to find a college program for me, and he picked LPN (licensed practical nurse). I explained to him that while I wanted to stay in the medical field, I didn’t want to move into the world of nursing for a variety of reasons. He insisted that it was the best choice for our family, and that I would love it.
I told him that I really didn’t think it would suit me well, but that if he really wanted me to go into nursing, I should try to become an RN, because the pay would be better, and the training would be more comprehensive. He disagreed and said that we couldn’t afford for me to be in school for that long.
I really didn’t want to argue with him, and I felt myself shutting down, which is what I’ve always done when presented with conflict.
Day after day he would ask me if I had contacted the school he picked, or if I started the registration process. This constant pressure also made it very difficult for me to move forward. But finally, one day, while he was at work, and our daughter napped, I looked through the different programs available at the school that he picked. I found radiology technologist, and this quickly caught my interest. I called the school, scheduled my placement test, and was put in touch with who would end up being my advisor.
When he got home, I told him about what I had accomplished, and how excited I was about this particular program. He looked confused, and said something to the effect of “But I thought you wanted to do the LPN program? When did you change your mind?”
I explained, “No, you wanted me to do the LPN program, and I told you I didn’t want to get into nursing. I only agreed with you because you pushed it so hard. But look, this is also a two-year program, I’ll end up being an X-Ray tech, which I think will suit my strengths a lot better, and it has a lot of the same requirements.”
We ended up agreeing that Rad Tech was the best idea, but his has always insisted that LPN was my idea.
Fast forward two years. I am thriving in school, as a mother, and with my mental health. Our daughter is due to start pre-school in the fall, and I will be transferring schools to complete my degree. I have a 3.9 GPA, I am part of a prestigious honor society, and have earned numerous scholarships. I would like to think that I have grown up immensely in the past few years.
However, Tom still often treats me like a child. He does this in a lot of different ways. I’ll talk about buying a certain toy for our daughter, and if he doesn’t like the toy, he’ll usually just say “No, we’re not doing that.” If I push, he’ll say something to the effect of “You know how I feel about this,” which is his way of saying “End of conversation.” Whatever the issue is, we will almost always navigate through it and find a compromise. I don’t shut down with confrontation anymore and have gotten much better at arguing my points of view. But the way he talks to me seems super dismissive and has the same tone as a strict father talking to a rebellious teen. He can also be a complete man-splainer to an extreme degree.
I finally reached my breaking point with the way he talks to me yesterday. I had gone to my new campus to pick up my student I.D. and to walk around and get a feel for the place. I ended up being able to also get a copy of my class schedule before it was posted online. I realized that they had registered me for a class that I had already completed this past semester.
Tom called me while he was at lunch to chat, and I told him a bit about my day, and the mix up with my classes. I told him that I would make sure updated transcripts got sent to the campus, and I would email my advisor to discuss filling the slot with a different class (To be fair, I did say “with a B.S. class,” but obviously that isn’t how I would phrase it in the email). Tom started telling me “No, don’t do that. First, you have to make sure that you get new transcripts ordered, and then explain to him that you would rather take a humanities class. You can’t say a ‘B.S. class.’” He went on and on for a while.
Essentially, he took almost his entire lunch break to not only tell me what to do, but most of what he said, was what I had already planned on doing. When he had tired himself out with his rant, I stayed quiet, and just said “Ok.” He asked if I was mad, and I simply said “No, but please stop treating me like a child and trust that I will get this done on my own. You basically just took 15 minutes to tell me the exact same thing that I told you.”
Later that night, while I was cooking dinner, he opened the envelope that had my schedule in it, which had my name on it, not his, and started reading the schedule. This is a huge pet peeve of mine, but no matter how often I tell him this, he still does it. He then started trying to explain to me what all the different abbreviations on the form meant (which I already knew), and then started saying that he didn’t like how my schedule was set up. He thought it was too many classes one right after the other (it’s 3 classes in a row and would allow time for me to finish my school day early). He started telling me that I needed to tell my advisor to stretch out my schedule to allow time for a long lunch break, possibly with study time in between, yada yada.
I say yada yada, because I honestly stopped hearing what he was saying after a moment. Was he literally doing the exact same thing that I had asked him to stop earlier that day? Was he really man-splaining my class schedule to me? Was he really under the impression that he could tell me what to tell my advisor? I ended up cutting him off in the middle of whatever he was saying and said “Hey, you’re doing it again. Can you please stop treating me like a child? I’ll take care of this myself.”
He responded “You know I’m just trying to help. But if you don’t want my help, then fine. I’ll just shut up then.”
I lost it at that moment. The flood gates opened, and I honestly had no control over the words that came out of my mouth. I yelled that he wasn’t trying to help, that he was trying to dictate. I threw my GPA in his face, and explained how much I accomplished, while being the full time caregiver to our child, cooking every meal, running every household errand, and keeping our house spotless. I yelled that I wasn’t the dress over my head party girl who needed a guiding hand anymore, and that I was a grown ass responsible woman. I ended it with “You need to stop treating me like a Goddamn child and start treating me like a partner, because I’ve earned it.”
Tom was silent. We haven’t had a fight that involved yelling in years. He wasn’t used to this side of me at all. Eventually he apologized, said that I was right, and then went to have some alone time to process everything.
Here’s why I think that I may have been the asshole, and no, it’s not him trying to gaslight me into thinking I am. As I play the whole thing back in my head, I can’t help but think that I seriously crossed a line or two. First, our daughter, who is only two years old, was in the room with us. I never want us to be the type of parents that yell and scream in front of her.
Second, in the span of just a couple of years, I basically completely flipped the script on him. The beginning, and most of our relationship was spent with him being the grown up, and me being the screw up. I have essentially changed my entire brain chemistry with medication, have had talk therapy to help me grow as a person. Basically, I’ve reinvented myself. While all this has happened over the course of two years, you’d be surprised how quickly that time flies by in your late thirties/early forties, especially with a baby/toddler thrown into the mix. To Tom, it really could seem like this change, and my anger has come out of nowhere.
Also, just because I’ve changed, doesn’t mean that he has. He hasn’t been through the same hormonal and chemical changes that I’ve been through. Maybe I am the asshole for expecting the person he has always been to suddenly conform to the new me.
So what’s the verdict? Am I the asshole?

My parents are 52M and 50F and they just openly have chosen my entire life to not take care of their health. Extremely poor dieting, lack of exercise despite having plenty of free time in the day to do so. They don’t take care of their health and I see how it affects them and they don’t choose to change. I 21M was overweight my whole life until 3 years ago. I started working out and went from 225lbs to 165lbs after a year. I’ve stayed active ever since between lifting, running and MMA because I remember how I felt and how bad it is when you’re overweight. My parents genuinely have the speed and mobility of a 70+ year old my dad has diabetes but refuses to ever eat properly and my mom has been bordering diabetes for years but neither of them ever want to change and I’ve given them all the data and workout plans needed to be in shape and it jus goes out the other ear and they claim I never gave them that info. It seems like they don’t see how their poor health effects their kids and the fact that I want them to have quality of life and to live a long time but they just don’t want to change and I thought seeing that I could change would push them at all but it didn’t. I’m sure many others experience this and it’s beyond frustrating.

I think I just need to rant and maybe see if my expectations are out of line. I 30F am pregnant with my first and am a SM to SS7. My husband 30M and I seem to have to different expectations for stepsons involvement with ours baby I guess. Basically even before I was pregnant I had to tell my husband we would need to plan ahead for care of SS while I was in labor as he wouldn’t be at the hospital with us. This shocked my husband who I guess assumed he would be just be there? I also had to arrange care for SS while we got an ultrasound because again my husband thought we could just bring SS with us. I told him these appointments are not appropriate for a 7 year old boy and even if they were they are special and I don’t really want a 7 year old there asking to go home constantly or sighing from boredom. Stepson has high functioning autism and ADHD. My husband also assumed we would use the pediatrician he uses for SS. I told him I’m not comfortable with blindly using this pediatrician as I’ve never met her and have done no research on her or anything. I finally had to say that I will be apart of all decisions made for this baby and will not be just doing whatever because that’s what he did for SS.
I’m due in December and SS will be on winter break when the baby is maybe 2 weeks old if I don’t go past my due date. I told DH we need to find a camp for SS because he won’t like hearing the crying all day and it will make his winter break very boring for him. He said he needs to get used to crying and we shouldn’t spend the money on camp because we’ll both be home. BM has EOWE so she won’t be helping with the weekdays. I disagree with this for many reasons but I also feel that my husband will only have the month of December off and that time is to support me in recovery and bond with the new baby. I’m not sure that can be done if two of those 4 weeks are spent caring for SS all day too. Am I being insensitive in wanting these special moments without SS? We do not intend to have more children so this will be my only pregnancy and newborn.

1, (15 F) was invited to be a part of my friend (15 F, we will kill her K)'s quince court, and happily accepted. if you dk, quinceañera is a huge birthday party that many Hispanic girls have when they turn 15, celebrating their coming of age. The quince court is made up of the birthday girl’s closest friends, who learn multiple dance routines to perform at the party. Naturally, dance routines and choreography require lots of practice. Our court includes me, K, and 14 of our closest friends. I knew there would be drama when I signed up for the court because multiple people involved don’t get along, and K is often involved in drama outside of this group. However, I agreed because we’ve been friends since elementary school. So far, we’ve only had two practices. It’s summer, and the party is still months away. Most people have attended at least one of the practices, if not both, but a few have missed due to prior commitments or family emergencies. K is struggling to find dates that work for everyone. Several of us have told her it will be hard to find dates that fit everyone’s schedule and that we can try practicing without our partners since we all dance with partners. Multiple members have offered advice, such as practicing at home with a video or practicing without our partners. We’ve also suggested practicing earlier in the morning, later in the afternoon, or on weekdays instead of weekends. We understand that people have jobs, but most teenagers don’t work all day. K has rejected these ideas, making it extremely difficult for everyone. There’s a couple in our group chat, R and J, who escalate problems by name-calling, picking fights, and making a big deal out of simple conversations. It feels like they enjoy causing problems and making the drama worse. Usually, we suggest a date, a few people can’t make it, and then K makes snide comments about how we need to “tell our mommies and daddies” to clear our schedules. K doesn’t have strict parents, unlike several others in the group, and often makes disparaging remarks about us not being available every day. K insists we should prioritize practice over family obligations, which many of us simply can’t do. We are teenagers, not adults, and can’t make decisions without our parents’ permission. We are trying our best, but it seems to go unnoticed. Once, K even said she doesn’t care if our grandfather is dying; she expects us to show up to her practice and forget our priorities because it’s her day and it needs to be perfect. R and J will then name-call those who are unavailable, complain about others’ suggestions for different practice times, and play the victim when told to stop. Ironically, R doesn’t even like K and once spent an hour at a sleepover badmouthing her. J doesn’t like anyone in our friend group, yet he still hangs out with us and causes drama, leading to problems with his girlfriend, R, who we’ve been friends with for years. This behavior overwhelms K, who then stops communicating for several days and expects us to show up without giving us details. Other people cause problems on the group chat as well, but it’s mostly these three. Many of us have complained outside the group chat about the constant drama, fights, and rude attitudes. Some have even compared K to a bridezilla. I understand K’s frustration and know how important this is to her, but her rudeness, including giving friends the silent treatment for weeks, is problematic. She has always been a problematic person, but it’s never been this bad. She complains about the lack of communication in the group chat, yet she rarely texts there herself. This hypocritical behavior led one of my best friends, O, to drop out of the court because the stress and fighting have strained her friendship with R. R and J have a toxic relationship, and the longer they date, the ruder and more problematic R becomes. This has caused drama within the friend group, except for a small group of four of us. The quinceañera planning is adding to the drama, pushing O and R apart, and causing friction among several others. At this point, there’s more drama than necessary. K is not communicating properly and is blaming us, and nothing is getting done. It feels too stressful and like a waste of time. I want to drop out, but I don’t want K to be mad at me since I made a commitment. I love my friends, but I don’t know if I can keep this up.So, AITA for wanting to drop out?