Free shipping on orders over $60
Plus,

• Buy 2, get additional 10% off.
• Buy 3-5, get additional 20% off.
• Buy 6-10, get 25% off.
• Buy 10+, get 30% off.

Prices updated to reflect Jomashop and Fragrancenet, but they change prices often - if you like something, and there is a better price elsewhere, I'll beat it! Let me know in the post/chat/inbox - I am not firm on anything. I will definitely provide discounts for multiple purchases.
I can meet face to face (Fort Collins, CO), and I can ship USPS Priority for $8. Shipping in USA only, unless you have a forwarder that you want to use.
Prices are for Paypal F&F or Venmo. Please add 3% for Paypal G&S.
All the boxes are brand new, but due to handling, some might have issues with the cellophane cover - I'd say that 95% are in perfect shape, but some might be missing the cellophane. I'll send a photo of the actual unit in chat.
Type:EDP is perfume, EDT is toilette, Size is size in ounces, and Q is quantity I have left, Price is the price I have them listed for.
Mens
Brand - Name - Type - Size - Quantity - Price
Armani Acqua di Gio EDT 1oz 1x $45.00
*SOLD - Azzaro Chrome EDT 3.4oz 0x $40.00
*SOLD - Azzaro Wanted by night EDP 3.4oz 0x $80.00
*SOLD - Azzaro Wanted EDT 3.4oz 0x $60.00
Calvin Klein Defy EDT 3.3oz 2x $40.00
Calvin Klein Defy EDT 1.6oz 3x $30.00
Coach Platinum EDP 3.3oz 2x $40.00
Coach Platinum EDP 2oz 1x $33.00
Coach Coach for men EDT 2oz 1x $34.00
Dolce Gabanna "K" EDP 1.6oz 3x $45.00
Dolce Gabanna "K" EDT 3.3oz 4x $55.00
Dolce Gabanna "K" EDT 1.6oz 4x $37.00
Jimmy Choo Man EDT 1.7oz 2x $30.00
Jimmy Choo Man EDT 3.3oz 3x $40.00
Jimmy Choo Man Blue EDT 3.3oz 3x $40.00
John Varvatos Artisan Pure EDT 2.5oz 1x $28.00
Montblanc Legend EDP 3.3oz 5x $42.00
Montblanc Legend Spirit EDT 1.7oz 1x $28.00
Montblanc Legend Spirit EDT 3.3oz 1x $35.00
Paco Rabanne 1 Million EDP 3.4oz 1x $80
Womens
Brand - Name - Type - Size - Q - Price
Ariana Grande R.E.M. EDP 3.4oz 1x $60.00
Ariana Grande R.E.M. EDP 1.7oz 4x $40.00
Armani Terra Di Gioia EDP 1oz 1x $50.00
Armani My Way Intense EDP 1oz 7x $55.00
Armani My Way Intense EDP 1.7oz 1x $60.00
Armani My Way EDP 3oz 2x $80.00
Armani My Way EDP 1.7oz 2x $60.00
Armani My Way EDP 1oz 9x $55.00
Bvlgari Omnia Pink Sapphire EDT 2.2oz 8x $50.00
Bvlgari Omnia Coral EDT 2.2oz 4x $50.00
Bvlgari Omnia Amethyste EDT 2.2oz 2x $50.00
Caroline Herrera Good Girl Supreme EDP 1oz 1x $50.00
Coach Coach EDP 1.7oz 1x $35.00
Coach Coach EDT 1.7oz 1x $35.00
Coach Dreams EDP 0.3oz 2x $20.00 - Free with COACH 1oz and larger
Dior Joy EDP 1oz 2x $45.00
Dior Miss Dior Roses n'Roses EDT 1.7oz 2x $70.00
Dior Miss Dior Roses n'Roses EDT 1oz 2x $50.00
Dior J'adore EDT 3.4oz 1x $70.00
Dior J'adore Infinissime EDP 1.7oz 2x $80.00
Dior J'adore Infinissime (new, but no celophane) EDP 3.4oz 1x $85.00
DKNY Be Delicious EDP 1.7oz 1x $30.00
DKNY Be Delicious EDP 1oz 2x $28.00
Dolce Gabanna Dolce Garden EDP 1.6oz 1x $40.00
Dolce Gabanna Light Blue EDT 0.84oz 1x $30.00
Dolce Gabanna The One EDP 0.25oz 1x $20.00 - FREE with any DG 1.7oz or larger
Dolce Gabanna The Only One EDP 0.33oz 2x $20.00 - FREE with any DG 1.7oz and larger
Donna Karan Cashmere Mist EDT 1oz 4x $30.00
Donna Karan Cashmere Mist EDT 3.4oz 2x $70.00
Donna Karan Cashmere Mist EDP 1.7oz 4x $40.00
Escada Summer Festival EDT 3.3oz 2x $45.00
Escada Summer Festival EDT 1oz 1x $35.00
Gucci Bloom Nettari di fiori Intense EDP 1.6oz 1x $70.00
Gucci Bloom Acqua di fiori EDT 1.6oz 1x $70.00
Gucci Bloom EDP 1oz 1x $40.00
Jimmy Choo Fever EDP 1.3oz 2x $30.00
Jimmy Choo Jimmy Choo EDP 2oz 2x $38.00
Jimmy Choo Jimmy Choo EDP 1.3oz 3x $25.00
Jimmy Choo L'eau EDT 1.3oz 1x $27.00
Juicy Couture Viva La Juicy le bubbly EDP 1.7oz 1x $35.00
Juicy Couture Oui EDP 1oz 1x $30.00
Juicy Couture Viva La Juicy Rose EDP 3.4oz 1x $35
Juicy Couture Viva La Juicy Rose EDP 1.7oz 1x $25 (no cellophane)
Kate Spade Kate Spade EDP 0.33oz 1x $20.00
Lancome Idole Le Grand Perfume EDP 3.4oz 1x $90.00
Lancome Idole Aura EDP 3.4oz 1x $90.00
Lancome Idole Le Parfum EDP 0.8oz 2x $40.00
Lancome Idole Le Parfum EDP 1.7oz 3x $70.00
Lancome Idole L'Intense EDP 2.5oz 1x $75.00
Mark Jacobs Perfect EDP 1.6oz 3x $60.00
Mark Jacobs Perfect Intense EDP 1.6oz 3x $60.00
Mark Jacobs Perfect Intense EDP 3.3oz 3x $80.00
Mark Jacobs Daisy EDT 0.33oz 2x $20.00 - FREE with any Mark Jacobs 1.7oz and larger
Mark Jacobs Daisy Eau so fresh EDT 0.33oz 3x $20.00 - FREE with any Mark Jacobs 1.7oz and larger
Mark Jacobs Daisy Love Eau So Sweet EDT 0.33oz x $20.00 - FREE with any Mark Jacobs 1.7oz or larger
Michael Kors Wonderlust EDP 3.4oz 1x $50.00
Michael Kors Sparkling Blush EDP 1oz 1x $40.00
Mugler Alien Goddess EDP 1oz 8x $50.00
*SOLD - Philosophy Fresh Cream EDT 2oz 0x $30.00
Philosophy Amazing Grace Magnolia EDT 2oz 4x $30.00
Philosophy Amazing Grace Ballet Rose EDT 2oz 2x $35.00
*SOLD - Philosophy Amazing Grace EDT 4oz 1x $30.00
*SOLD - Philosophy Pure Grace EDP 2oz 1x $30.00
Viktor&Rolf Bonbon EDP 1.7oz 2x $60.00
Viktor&Rolf Bonbon EDP 1oz 2x $50.00
Viktor&Rolf Bonbon Pastel EDT 1.7oz 1x $50.00
Viktor&Rolf Bonbon Couture Intense EDP 1.7oz 2x $60.00

• https://imgur.com/tssYeIJ
• https://imgur.com/9VZwXIk
• https://imgur.com/GHM7nWV
• https://imgur.com/L9ezdjO
• https://imgur.com/nRVr1uK

Welcome to another Indie Sunday! This event starts at 12 AM EST and will run for 24 hours.
Please read the below guidelines carefully before participating. If you have any questions please don't hesitate to send us a modmail.
A reminder that Rule 8 is not enforced during this event for submissions which follow the participation guidelines.

Submission Restrictions

• Games may be unreleased or finished
  
• You must provide video footage of the game in action. This can be a prototype, alpha, beta, etc. Images and concept art are nice but you must include a trailer or video of gameplay footage of the game.
  
• No key/game giveaways
  
• Only developers may make submissions for their games - if you would like to highlight a game on your own, please do so in this hub thread
  
• The same game/developer can not be shared more than once every 30 days.
  

Submission Format

• Submission must be a self-post (No direct links)
• Title: Game Name - Company (or individual) Name - Short description (for example: "classic turn based RPG" or "platformer inspired by Metroidvanias")
• Flair: Indie Sunday
• Body: Any links to trailers/footage, a description of the game, plans for release (platform, target date, etc), any additional information you'd like to add.

Weekly Spotlight

• TH3-M15 Guild - Capybara Forge LLC - Action Roguelike, Bullet-Hell, with Roguelite Elements
• Erenshor - A "Simulated MMORPG" - Burgee Media
• Rebel!: Prologue - Four Pixels Games - 3D arena horde shooter where you fight back against an oppressive government as a guerilla fighter! We're in the Endless Replayabilty Festival!
• KINGDOM OF FALLEN - DigitalSouls - A New Medieval Survival with Unlimited Building (RELEASE IN NEXT WEEK MAY 15TH)
• A2C:Ayry seems to be playtesting a 2D runner shooter from Cci - Imaginary Traveller - A 2D side scrolling runner shump ,with a bit of (meta)visual novel
• Galacticare - Brightrock & CULT Games- Sci-Fi Hospital Management Sim inspired by Two Point & Theme Hospital
• On Track - GIGATANK 3000 - Free cozy productivity game set aboard a train designed to help get stuff done
• Primordial Nation - Vezeko - A 4X / Grand Strategy with a Civ+Total War Style that allows you to build up a nation and survive the echoes of time! (Solo-Developer)
• Freenergy - Mir - a game about a brilliant engineer captured by a corporation, threatened with his life, he is forced to create combat robots. None other than Into the Breach inspired me to develop it.
• Casino Simulator - Lodos Games - Simulation game
• DROSS - Team Derelict - DROSS is an FPS Roguelike set in a derelict facility infested with alien bugs
• Outer Space Shack - Open Lowcode - a realistic space base building game starting in the 1960s on the Moon - R1.5 update is out, focusing on quality of life improvements
• 💰Forum Mortuorum ⚔️ - Vittoria Games - Gladiator Management (Free Demo on Steam!)
• Critias Empire - Crystalline Green Ltd. - Non-violent 4X with improved demo
• Werewolf Party - AbsamStudios - A social deduction first-person multiplayer game.
• Paper Perjury - Paper Cat games -An Ace Attorney inspired mystery game (Demo on steam)
• Legends of Dragaea: Idle Dungeons - Blast Programming - Idle Dungeon Crawler Where You Manage A Guild Heroes And Explore Dungeons For Loot and Glory in the Endless Replayabilty Festival
• Surfers Code - More Than Fun - Chill Surfing Themed Game, But So Much More . . . Adventure, exploration, surfing, and amusing conversations
• DDS2 (full title censored) - Movie Games - first-person co-op sim set in a dynamic open world. Make contacts, cook %&#, and manage your cartel on Isla Sombra, where power is the only law.
• Snowbound: Dead of Winter - Galaxasaurus Games - A farming tower defense roguelite (Steam demo out now!)
• Graveyard Gunslingers - Pyro Physics - roguelike horde survival with resource gathering
• The Nightwatch - Astrow Games - A highly customisable exploration survivors-like, come try out the demo!
• Eggstraction - TwoShoedGames - A chaotic game about chickens breaking into a farm.
• Eden Crafters - Osaris Games - Factory building and terraforming game where you transform a whole planet into a new haven for humanity
• The Bugs Manor 🦋 - Moonthsoft - A Free 2D Pixel Art Horror Game
• HOTLOOP - Tntlaxy GDS - top down space shooter with real physics, gravity and orbits
• SPELLHACK!! - Computer Dream - Meta retro deckbuilder with a game-within-a-game aesthetic
• Galaxy Burger - Galactic Workshop - a cooking game without annoying timers, just relaxing.
• Operation: Polygon Storm - Toxic Studio - Tug-of-War strategy game with RTS & Tower Defences (PC, PS4/5, Switch, Xbox)
• Warcos 2 - 4tale - (FPS, multiplayer shooter, with unique melee combat system, parkour and abilities)
• Anomaly Agent - Phew Phew Games - 2D, Pixel Art, Action Platformer
• Polygon of Reality - Dark Games DGG - First-person Survival horror with cunning and clever enemies.
• Medal winners 24 - Dual Gen Studios - Retro 2D sports video game about the Olympics
• Please Be Kind To The Chickens - Demanding Bear - A Challenging 3D Puzzle Adventure
• Munch - Mac n Cheese - A fantasy action game where you play an evolving monster
• Distant Isles - worldform - a RTwP party-based RPG where you explore an unknown island, fight creatures and search for loot and treasure
• Astral Throne - Zero Sun Games - Fire Emblem-inspired Roguelite (Demo Available Steam Endless Replayability Fest)
• Shoomer Booter - Tommy Gun Walrus - retro pixel art FPS with modern lighting
• Paw Paw Destiny - Daiyu.studio - 🐱Cat / Dog🐶, a cosmic horror comedy
• Rain Tactics - Ervya Studios - Tactical RPG inspired by Fire Emblem and Shadowrun; play a god who wants to die
• rRootage Reloaded - MadTriangles - Console port and remaster of an old bullet-hell classic.
• Rogue Voltage - Horizont Computergrafik - The Engineering Roguelike
• Just Crow Things - Unbound Creations - Play as little crow, collect shiny things, use variety of tools, and and poop on unsuspecting people (Demo Available)
• Emberward - Refic Games - Roguelite tower defense with maze building [New Demo Update!!]
• World’s Worst Handyman – Baby Lumberjack – Think Untitled Goose Game Meets Banjo Kazooie
• The Biggleboss Incident - BUNKWORKS - A pointy-clicky corporate thriller
• Echo: Defy Death - 3Hills - Roguelite that uses Echolocation, you play as a blind assassin!
• Novus Orbis - Seizo Games - A Combo-based Deckbuilder Roguelike
• Airships: Lost Flotilla - David Stark - a brotatolike steampunk autoshooter
• Star Mission: Remote Sectors - Ralph Schaedler - Sci-Fi Adventure Inspired by the Hopeful Visions of Golden Age Sci-Fi
• Sporeborn Dark - ValiantLight - is a mystical horror of dark labyrinths inspired by Darkwood.
• Gentoo Rescue - Cyclicity Studios - Puzzler inspired by Baba Is You and Patrick's Parabox
• Into The Grid - Flatline Studios - A narrative-centered Cyberpunk Deckbuilder with some real twists! Become a hacker and steal juicy corporate secrets!
• TROLEU - andrground - Wacky First-Person Physics-Based Trolleybus Conductor Simulator
• Alien Frontier - After Hours Games - An open world roguelite where you play as a prospector on a dangerous alien planet.
• Together After Dark - RedForge- Co-op Psychological Horror Game
• Dwarves: Glory, Death and Loot - ichbinhamma - Dwarf Warband Simulator RPG
• The Last Question - Bill - An Existential Platforming Experience
• Tyrant’s Twilight - Caio Ramaglio - A mix between realtime and turn-based Tactics
• Mortal Glory 2 - Redbeak Games - 2D Turn-based Gladiator Roguelike
• Aim High Lofi - Thomas Wray - Fast-paced whimsical FPS with Lo-Fi music
• BrainZ Defender - Mint Creative - Tower Defense FPS
• Cozy Marbles - Pixel Pea Games - relaxing physics sandbox building game about creating marble runs
• Echoes of the Stars - Alchimia Studios - Hand Drawn, 2D, Spectacle Action RPG/JRPG/Anime inspired.

Previous Indie Sunday

Feedback

Feel free to ask any questions in the comments below, or send us a modmail if it is urgent.

Discussion

• Any of these games catch your eye?
  
• Any games you want to personally highlight that haven't been shared yet?
  
• Any projects that have had interesting development journeys?
  
• What indie game recommendations do you have?
  

you can get the whole entire changelog at https://calamitymod.wiki.gg/wiki/2.0.4.001. i just what i can to reddit
The 2.0.4.001 (or 2.0.4) update rebalanced hundreds of bosses and enemies through health changes and removing several forms of contact damage, implemented Master Mode changes for vanilla bosses, and gave new AI changes to most vanilla bosses. It also rebalanced hundreds of weapons, armors, and debuffs, including tiershifting Depth Cells crafts to post-Leviathan and reworking the Depth Crusher line and most ammos, and fixed several lingering bugs from previous updates.
Additions

• Added Arietes 41, Chronomancer's Scythe, The Dark Master, Lilies of Finality, Nitro Express Rifle, and Teslastaff.
• Added Hallow-Point Round.
• Added Eutrophic Crate, Hydrothermal Crate, Monolith Crate, and Slag Crate.
• Added Activated Auric Panel, Astral Projector, Auric Absorber, Auric Console, Auric Display, Auric Panel, Auric Platform, Auric Reinforced Crate, Auric Repulser Panel, Auric Screen, Auric Server, Auric Terminal, Blue Distorted Monolith, Boss Rush Monolith, Brimstone Lava Fountain, Cirrus Couch, Deep Sea Anchor, Draconic Incense, Exo-Auric Panel, Exo Obelisk, Frigid Monolith, Music Box (Codebreaker), Plague Humidifier, Purple Distorted Monolith, Slab Crab Banner, and Wulfrum Plating Wall.
• Added Desert Nuisance (Young) and Slab Crab.
• Added Crystal Heart Vodka.
• Added the following new sounds:
  • Anahita hit and death sounds, Astrum Aureus laser, flame crystal, teleport, and death sounds, Astrum Deus hit and god ray sounds, Deus Mine explosion, Dragon's Breath's beam of fire starting, Frigidflash Bolt use and projectile death, Perforator Hive spawn sound, Perforator Hive hit, death, blood shot, ichor blob, and worm spawn sounds, small Perforator hit and death sounds, medium Perforator hit and death sounds, large Perforator hit and death sounds, Storm Weaver armor shed and death sounds, Stormlion idle, hit, and death sounds, Stygian Shield dash charge, dash, dash hit, shield throw, and shield catch, Supreme Calamitas summon rumble, Cataclysm and Catastrophe hit and death sounds, and Tears of Heaven use.
• Added Rotdog gores.
• Added a Codebreaker UI option to communicate with Draedon, which appears after defeating the Exo Mechs.
• Added a section in the bestiary displaying NPC vulnerabilities and resistances to debuff types.
• Added buff icons for Betsy's Curse, Celled, Daybroken, Dryad's Bane, Frostbite, Hellfire, and Oiled on the NPC debuff display.
• Added custom text on the world selection screen for Calamity difficulties.
• Added configuration options for removing lava drops from Lava Slimes, and toggling new vanilla textures.
• Added Mod Calls for getting and setting permanent health and mana upgrades, consuming stealth, and adding custom solutions to the Androomba.
• Added support for average, true melee, and rogue damage colors for the Colored Damage Types mod.
• All Calamity bosses now properly scale their health in Master Mode. This should result in lower health overall.
• All vanilla bosses outside of Revengeance Mode can now turn the Calamity Boss Health Bar red when enraged, and gray when gaining a temporary defense boost or invulnerability.
• All bosses no longer use a global scaling contact damage formula based on boss velocity.
  • Aquatic Scourge, Armored Digger, Astrum Deus, Cosmic Guardian, Desert Nuisance, Desert Scourge, The Destroyer, The Devourer of Gods, Eater of Worlds, the Perforators, Storm Weaver, and XM-05 Thanatos now use a different formula for scaling contact damage based on velocity, which scales from half damage to full damage on the head, and 0 to full damage on the body and tail.
• Increased the Early Hardmode Progression Rework's health and damage multiplier from 0.8x to 0.9x for the first mech, and from 0.9x to 0.95x for the second mech in Expert and Master Mode.
• The following bosses no longer enrage based on time in the Don't dig up seed:
  • Astrum Aureus, Astrum Deus, Calamitas Clone, Rev+ The Destroyer, Rev+ Eye of Cthulhu, Providence, Rev+ Skeletron, Rev+ Skeletron Prime, and Rev+ The Twins.
• Buffed most boss contact damage values in Classic Mode:

Aquatic Scourge

• Added a glowmask to toxic cloud projectiles.
• No longer drops Deep Diver.
• Now takes 75% damage from Snowstorm Staff, 60% damage from SHPC, and 50% damage from Adamantite Throwing Axe's lightning and Mounted Scanner.

​
Astrum Aureus

• No longer deals contact damage while not jumping.
• Now takes 70% damage from The Ballista's greatarrows instead of 65%.

Astrum Deus

• Can now be summoned at all times in the Don't dig up seed.
• Boosted damage reduction on spawn now smoothly scales down to its normal damage reduction.
• Buffed body damage reduction from 20% to 25%, and tail damage reduction from 30% to 40%.
• No longer takes 80% damage from all sources in phase 1.
• Now takes 80% damage from Cluster Rocket fragments, 65% damage from Icicle Arrows, 45% damage from Flak Kraken, and 30% damage from Charged Blaster Cannon.
• Now takes 40% damage from Aurora Blazer instead of 30%.
• No longer takes 75% damage from Resurrection Butterfly.

​
Brain of Cthulhu

• Buffed health from 1500 / 2550 📷 / 3060 📷 / 3251 📷 / 3901 📷 📷 to 1500 / 2550 📷 / 4207 📷 / 3251 📷 / 5364 📷 📷.
• Buffed Creeper's health from 100 / 170 📷 / 187 📷 / 216 📷 / 238 📷 📷 to 100 / 170 📷 / 238 📷 / 216 📷 / 303 📷 📷, and damage from 20 / 36 📷 / 54 📷 / 72 📷 / 90 📷 to 24 / 36 📷 / 66 📷 / 96 📷 / 120 📷.
• Decreased Creeper amount from 25 📷 / 30 📷 to 20 📷 / 30 📷, in the For the worthy seed from 40 to 35, and in Legendary Mode from 50 to 40.
• No longer deals contact damage during phase 1, and Creepers no longer deal contact damage while not charging in all difficulties.
• Creepers now take 25% damage from damaging debuffs.
• Revengeance Mode changes:
  • Decreased enrage scale boost while on the surface, and surface enrage no longer triggers when in front of unsafe Crimstone walls.
  • Increased teleport distance and maximum velocity in phase 1.
  • Creepers now teleport with the Brain when not charging, and have a telegraph when they're about to charge.
  • Increased Creeper velocity, and velocity scales with how many Creepers are alive, but velocity is now less affected by enrage scale.
  • Decreased the maximum time before Creepers return to the Brain, and Creepers now fire blood shots when returning.
  • Increased knockback resistance, and now creates 4 additional clones in the cardinal directions in phase 2.
  • Now starts performing spinning lunges at 80% health instead of 60%, and fires a spread of blood shots during spinning lunges.
  • Now has a smaller spin radius, and waits longer before teleporting after a spinning lunge.
  • Now fires blood shots from 2 directions when below 60% health, and from 4 directions when below 40% health.
  • Now lunges faster, has a smaller delay between spinning lunges, has increased blood shot velocity, and can teleport to the cardinal directions when below 25% health.
  • Now lunges even faster and has an even smaller delay between spinning lunges when below 10% health.
  • Increased minimum backup distance before performing a spinning lunge from 25 tiles to 40.
• Now has more knockback resistance at the start of phase 2, creates 8 more faint illusions, has an even smaller delay before the spinning lunge, lunges even faster, shoots more blood shots in a larger spread, blood shots have increased velocity, Creepers charge even faster based on how many are alive, and Creepers no longer push away from each other in Death Mode.
• Now spawns 30 Creepers, it and Creepers gain a small boost to enrage scale, Creepers have immunity to knockback and less inertia, charge more often, and can charge for longer, and moves faster in phase 1 in Master Mode.
• Now makes Creeper charges predictive, has a faster phase 2 move speed and less inertia, spawns additional Creepers during phase 2, shoots more blood shots in a wider spread, charges at the player longer after spinning lunges, and spinning lunges are predictive in Revengeance Master Mode.

​
Brimstone Elemental

• No longer deals contact damage while not directly moving towards the player.
• Nerfed Brimling's knockback resistance from 100% to 50%.

Calamitas clone

• Can now be summoned at all times in the Don't dig up seed.
• No longer deals contact damage while not charging.
• Cataclysmic Construct and Catastrophic Construct now deal half contact damage while not charging, and are now affected by the Boss Health Boost Percentage config option.
• No longer has reduced acceleration while holding a true melee weapon.
• Soul Seekers now have 25% less health and 10% less damage in Master Mode.
• No longer drops Broken Hero Sword.

​
Ceaseless Void

• Buffed contact damage from 150 / 300 📷 / 330 📷 / 348 📷 / 450 📷 to 240 / 360 📷 / 396 📷 / 432 📷 / 720 📷.
• No longer deals contact damage during Dark Energy phases.
• Dark Energies now have 25% less health and 10% less damage in Master Mode.
• Dark Energies now take 60% damage from Stellar Torus Staff.

​
Crabulon

• Changed health from 3350 / 5360 📷 / 6400 📷 / 8040 📷 / 9600 📷 📷 to 3700 / 5920 📷 / 7040 📷 / 7548 📷 / 8976 📷 📷.
• Buffed Crab Shroom's health from 15 / 30 📷 / 45 📷 to 30 / 60 📷 / 67 📷, and knockback resistance from 25% to 50%.
• Decreased how far above the player it spawns.
• No longer deals contact damage while not jumping.
• Significantly decreased how long it idles before cycling its attack pattern, but hitting it no longer speeds up the idle timer.
• Increased walking speed, and walking speed now increases in higher difficulties.
• Decreased how long it stays in the walking phase and how long it takes to turn around while walking in Revengeance Mode.
• Now spawns 3 Crab Shrooms in Expert Mode instead of 2-3.
• Decreased how high mush bombs aim. Mush bombs are now shot at a faster rate in higher difficulties, and mush bomb speed now increases when below 66% and 33% health.
• Upwards speed, vertical acceleration, and fall speed while moving through tiles now increase in higher difficulties.
• Increased how often it jumps in Expert Mode and Boss Rush.
• Horizontal and vertical speed on jumps now scales based on health in Expert Mode and higher.
• Now spawns falling mushrooms on jumps when below 33% health in Expert Mode.
• Now idles for less time, spawns 4 Crab Shrooms instead of 3, shoots mush bombs lower and mush bombs decelerate less, has a higher horizontal speed while jumping, falls faster when directly above the player during a jump, increased number of falling mushrooms and their velocity, spawns falling mushrooms on every jump when below 66% health, and final jump spawns even more falling mushrooms when below 33% health in Death Mode.
• Crab Shrooms now spawn every 2% of health lost in the For the worthy seed instead of 2.5%.
• Crab Shrooms now have a faster horizontal velocity and a slower vertical velocity in Revengeance and Death Mode.
• Crab Shrooms now have 25% less health and 10% less damage in Master Mode.
• Crab Shrooms now spawn less dust when hit and killed.

Cryogen

• Buffed health from 30,000 / 48,000 📷 / 57,600 📷 / 72,000 📷 / 86,400 📷 📷 to 40,000 / 64,000 📷 / 76,800 📷 / 81,600 📷 / 97,920 📷 📷.
• No longer deals contact damage while not charging.
• Cryogen's Shield no longer deals contact damage unless it is fully opaque.
• Now slows down and spins for 1.5 seconds before charging at the player at the start of phase 6.

​
Deerclops

• Nerfed health from 10,000 / 17,000 📷 / 20,400 📷 / 21,675 📷 / 26,010 📷 📷 to 10,000 / 17,000 📷 / 21,675 📷.
• Revengeance Mode changes:
  • Ice spike attack now covers a larger distance when below 50% health.
  • Rubble now appears translucent before dealing damage. Rubble attack now makes rubble fly up faster as health lowers.
  • Shadow hand circle attack now spawns between 5 and 16 hands depending on health instead of always spawning 9, shadow hand rotation is now randomized, and their velocity now scales as health lowers.
  • Number of shadow hands spawned when directly above it now scales between 3 and 10 as health lowers instead of always being 6.
  • Can now despawn if all players are dead.
• Now moves faster, ice spikes last longer, passively spawns shadow hands faster, shadow hands move faster, spawns more rubble in a denser spread, and makes rubble fly up faster and at a faster rate in Death Mode.
• Now spawns even more rubble in an even denser spread, rubber flies up even faster, ice spikes last even longer, spawns more shadow hands in the shadow hand circle attack that have faster velocity, and spawns more shadow hands when directly above it in Revengeance Master Mode.

​
Desert Scourge

• Buffed health from 2500 / 4000 📷 / 4800 📷 / 6000 📷 / 7200 📷 📷 to 4200 / 6720 📷 / 8000 📷 / 8568 📷 / 10,200 📷 📷.
• Buffed Desert Nuisance health from 1120 📷 / 1680 📷 📷 to 1500 / 2100 📷 / 2520 📷 / 3150 📷 / 3780 📷 📷.
• Buffed Desert Nuisance's head defense from 2 to 3, body defense from 4 to 5, and tail defense from 7 to 8.
• Decreased total segment count from 26 / 31 📷 / 36 📷 / 41 📷 to 16 / 19 📷 / 22 📷 / 25 📷.
• No longer gains increased size in higher difficulties.
• Increased velocity in all difficulties, but decreased how fast velocity increases as health lowers.
• Head no longer fires spreads of sand blasts.
• Burrow attack timer now only increments if the head is below the player and far enough away, increased the delay between burrow attacks, burrow attack no longer has a shorter delay in Death Mode, and increased speed during the burrow attack. Burrow attack now spawns a visual sand splash when emerging from the ground.
• Increased velocity of sand blasts in the burrow attack, and increased number of sand blasts from 12 / 16 📷 / 20 📷 / 24 📷 / 30 in Boss Rush to 12 / 18 📷 / 21 📷 / 24 📷 / 30 in Boss Rush.
• Decreased enrage scale's boosts to velocity and turn speed.
• Desert Nuisances are no longer summoned at the start of the fight in Revengeance Mode, and instead are summoned at 50% health in Expert Mode. While Desert Nuisances are alive, Desert Scourge is immune to damage and hides underneath the ground.
• Killing one Desert Nuisance now gives the other a slight boost to enrage scale in Revengeance Mode. Both Desert Nuisances always have this boost in Death Mode.
• Now forced to turn around if it gets over 125 tiles away from the player.
• Now gains increased turn speed in Death Mode.
• Now gains increased velocity in For the worthy and Get fixed boi.
• No longer drops Aero Stone.

​
The Destroyer

• Boosted damage reduction on spawn now smoothly scales down to its normal damage reduction, and it now has this damage reduction outside of Revengeance Mode.
• Reduced laser spread, and lasers now start slow and accelerate over time while outside of Revengeance Mode.
• Changed laser fire rate to be more random in its timing.
• Decreased red laser On Fire! duration from 4 seconds to 3.
• Buffed red laser damage in Expert Mode from 72 📷 to 96 📷, cursed laser damage from 76 📷 to 108 📷, and electric laser damage from 80 📷 to 116 📷.
• Revengeance Mode changes:
  • Body segments now have a reticle telegraph and glow the color of the laser they will fire before firing.
  • Slightly decreased maximum velocity of lasers.
  • Segments now smoothly transition color when entering the flying phase, and decreased speed in the flying phase.
  • Body segments no longer shoot any projectiles if their Probe has detached.
  • Now gains increased speed and acceleration and shoots lasers faster based on how many Probeless segments there are.
  • Nerfed size modifier from 150% 📷 / 170% 📷 to 120% 📷 / 140% 📷, and in the Get fixed boi seed from 250% to 200%.
• Buffed Probe size modifier in Death Mode from 130% 📷 to 140% 📷.
• Now has higher velocity and acceleration, has a smaller distance before flying towards the player, fires lasers faster as health lowers, lasers move at a higher velocity, and Probes have increased velocity and acceleration in Expert Mode.
• Tightened the spread of head lasers in Death Mode. Head laser spreads can now fire cursed lasers when below 85% health, and electric lasers when below 70% health.
• Now has higher velocity and acceleration, turns around faster, falls faster, has an even smaller distance before flying towards the player, lasers are shot more often and move at even higher velocity, can always fire cursed and electric lasers, Death Mode head laser spreads have more lasers in a wider spread, body segments can regenerate Probes if there are less than 40 alive, Probes have increased velocity and acceleration, and Probes no longer have their laser firing interrupted when hit in Revengeance Master Mode.
• Nerfed Probe's health in Boss Rush from 10,000 to 5000.
• Increased Probe velocity and acceleration in Revengeance Mode and Boss Rush.
• Now takes 75% damage from SHPC, 55% damage from Mounted Scanner, and 50% damage from Adamantite Throwing Axe's lightning, Aftershock's rocks, and Avalanche's ice bombs.
• Now takes 75% damage from Snowstorm Staff instead of 85%.
• No longer takes 85% damage from Mineral Mortar, or 60% damage from Cryophobia.

The Devourer of Gods

• Tail no longer deals contact damage during the phase 2 transition or during its brief invulnerability after a teleport.
• Increased the speed of body lasers.
• Phase 2 transition teleport now occurs on the drop of Universal Collapse instead of the 3 note buildup.
• No longer uses dialogue during Boss Rush.
• Changed the color of the buffed Solar Eclipse status message from orange to yellow.
• Now takes 20% damage from Wave Pounder instead of 60%.
• Cosmic Guardians now have 25% less health and 10% less damage in Master Mode.

Dragonfolly

• No longer deals contact damage while not flying quickly at the player in phase 1 or charging. Dragonfolly deals half contact damage while flying quickly at the player in phase 1.
• Nerfed Draconic Swarmer's knockback resistance from 100% to 85%.

Duke Fishron

• No longer deals contact damage while not charging in all difficulties.
• No longer becomes invincible during phase transitions outside of Revengeance Mode, and instead gains 62.5% damage reduction.
• Sharkrons can no longer be homed in on.
• Nerfed Sharknado damage in Revengeance Mode from 184 📷 to 150 📷.
• Sharknado and Cthulhunado spawners now break when touching water in Revengeance Mode.
• Decreased how long Sharknados and Cthulhunados do not deal damage after spawning from 2 seconds to 1, but they now appear translucent before dealing damage.
• Now charges faster, has a shorter delay between charges, spews Detonating Bubbles faster, spawns sharknados faster, enters phase 2 at 60% health, enters phase 3 at 25% health, Cthulhunado spawners always move at maximum speed, and Cthulhunados and their Sharkrons are larger in Master Mode.
• Now starts in phase 3 which lasts until 90% health, enters phase 3 at 30% health, starts his final attack pattern at 10% health, Detonating Bubbles are immune to damage, chase for longer, and push away from each other, and spawns Detonating Bubbles during charges in his final attack pattern in Revengeance Master Mode.
• Now takes 120% damage from The Hive's plague bees.

Eater of Worlds

• Decreased number of segments in Revengeance and Death Mode from 79 📷 / 69 📷 to 64 📷 / 59 📷. This nerfs overall health from 11,725 / 17,640 📷 / 23,226 📷 / 20,286 📷 / 22,464 📷 / 29,388 📷 📷 / 25,668 📷 📷 to 11,725 / 17,640 📷 / 18,816 📷 / 17,346 📷 / 22,464 📷 / 23,808 📷 📷 / 21,948 📷 📷.
• Vile spit now inflicts Brain Rot for 3 seconds. It also always inflicts Weak for 1 second, with a 50% chance to inflict it for 2 seconds, a 20% chance to inflict it for 12 seconds, and a 10% chance to inflict it for 1 minute.
• Revengeance Mode changes:
  • Splitting segments now regain health based on overall health.
  • Surface enrage no longer triggers when in front of unsafe Ebonstone walls.
  • Now always fires vile spit instead of only firing them below 90% health, and fire rate now increases as its health lowers.
  • Now starts firing cursed fireballs when below 80% health instead of 75%, cursed fireballs always inflict Cursed Inferno for 1 second, fire rate now gets slower as health lowers, and Death Mode no longer increases fire rate.
  • Slightly increased velocity given when a new head spawns, but it now only gains this velocity if far enough away from the player.
  • Now gains increased speed and acceleration when below 20% health instead of 10%.
  • Increased speed and acceleration boosts given when below 40% and 20% health.
• Slightly decreased its maximum falling speed, heads now push away from each other, and fires shadowflame fireballs instead of cursed fireballs in Death Mode.
• Now moves and accelerates faster, starts flying at a smaller distance, and shoots vile spit twice as fast in Master Mode.
• Now spawns as 4 smaller worms, gains an extra 6 📷 / 3 📷 segments, always fires cursed fireballs and has its first speed and acceleration boost, gains a quick burst of speed and accelerates its cursed fireball timer when a head is hit, gains its second speed and acceleration boost at 50% health instead of 20%, gains additional boosts to speed and acceleration at 10% and 5% health, and predicts the player's movement below 5% health in Revengeance Master Mode.
• Initial damage reduction in Boss Rush now smoothly scales down from 99% to 80%, and decreased aggression in Boss Rush.
• No longer takes 70% damage from Jester's Arrows.

Empress of Light

• No longer deals contact damage while not charging, and no longer becomes immune to damage while charging in all difficulties.
• Now gains 57.5% damage reduction during the sun dance, and 99% damage reduction when reaching the phase 2 threshold but not in phase 2 in all difficulties.
• Increased how far away she hovers during attacks in all difficulties.
• Buffed rainbow bolt and everlasting rainbow damage from 100 / 140 📷 / 160 📷 / 176 📷 / 234 📷 to 100 / 152 📷 / 172 📷 / 192 📷 / 234 📷, sun dance damage from 120 / 160 📷 / 184 📷 / 200 📷 / 270 📷 to 120 / 180 📷 / 204 📷 / 228 📷 / 270 📷, and lance damage from 130 / 120 📷 / 140 📷 / 176 📷 / 234 📷 to 130 / 196 📷 / 216 📷 / 236 📷 / 288 📷.
• Projectiles no longer gain damage in phase 2.
• All projectiles and charges now inflict Nightwither while not enraged and Holy Flames while enraged, instead of at nighttime or daytime.
• Decreased Nightwither or Holy Flames duration from charges from 5.33 seconds to 4, from sun dance from 3.33 seconds to 3, from everlasting rainbow from 2.67 seconds to 2, and from rainbow bolts and lances from 2 seconds to 1.
• Decreased how long rainbow bolts home, and they no longer deal damage before homing, but they now accelerate quicker, have a higher maximum velocity, and rapidly accelerate after they stop homing.
• Everlasting rainbows no longer deal damage for 1 second after spawning.
• Decreased her attack cooldown after charges in Revengeance Mode.
• Straight lance attack now additionally spawns lances from the opposite direction.
• Can now enter a "phase 3" when below 15% health. In phase 3, she has 20% less defense, has a higher chance to skip ahead an attack in her pattern, replaces the second and seventh attacks in her pattern with a charge and lance walls respectively, rainbow bolts are spawned slower but there are twice as many, charges faster, spawns twice as many lances, straight lance attack spawns lances from the opposite direction faster, spawns rainbow bolts during the everlasting rainbow attack, spawns more lances in lance walls, lance wall directions are randomized, lance walls are more spread out, and spawns twice as many rainbow bolts during the stationary version of the attack..
• Now enters phase 2 at 60% health in Expert Mode and Revengeance Mode.
• Now has a smaller delay between attacks, has a higher chance to skip ahead an attack in Revengeance Mode, rainbow bolts move and accelerate faster, lances spawn more often and in a wider area, everlasting rainbows move and accelerate faster, enters phase 2 at 70% health, enters phase 3 at 30% health, and lance walls in phase 3 have a smaller distance between lances in Master Mode.
• Now takes 75% damage from Abyss Blade's projectile.

Exo Mechs

• Added Signal Received as a new ambience theme before the fight.
• Changed the sound used when hovering over Artemis and Apollo's choice icon.
• Nerfed Apollo's rocket damage in Expert Mode from 476 📷 to 468 📷.
• Thanatos' Gamma Disintegration Beam and its side lasers are now blue instead of red. Laser telegraph and head glowmask now smoothly scale from red to blue as the beam charges up.
• Gamma Disintegration Beam now inflicts Miracle Blight for 4 seconds instead of Brimstone Flames for 3 seconds, and side lasers now inflict Miracle Blight for 2 seconds instead of Brimstone Flames for 1.5 seconds.
• Ares now takes 80% damage from Rancor.
• Ares no longer takes 85% damage from The Enforcer's essences flames or Murasama.
• Thanatos resist changes:
  • Now takes 75% damage from Mirror of Kalandra's Paradoxica minion, 70% damage from Ultima's beams, and 35% damage from Stellar Torus Staff.
  • Now takes 65% damage from Prismatic Breaker's laser beam instead of 70%, and 50% damage from Rancor instead of 60%.
  • Now takes 80% damage from The Anomaly's Nanogun's right click bombs instead of 65%.
  • No longer takes 70% damage from Pulse Rifle.

Eye of Cthulhu

• Buffed health from 3000 / 3900 📷 / 4680 📷 / 4972 📷 / 5967 📷 📷 to 3000 / 3900 📷 / 5460 📷 / 4972 📷 / 6961 📷 📷.
• Changed contact damage from 15 / 30 📷 / 40 📷 / 60 📷 / 51 📷 to 24 / 30 📷 / 40 📷 / 50 📷 / 50 📷.
• Buffed Servant of Cthulhu health from 8 / 12 📷 / 15 📷 to 8 / 12 📷 / 48 📷 / 15 📷 / 61 📷 📷.
• No longer deals contact damage while hovering above the player or slowing down after a charge in phase 1. Now deals half contact damage while hovering above the player, slowing down after a charge, or when lining up a horizontal charge in phase 2. These changes apply to all difficulties.
• Revengeance Mode changes:
  • Decreased how many Servants of Cthulhu can be alive at once from 12 📷 to 4 📷 in phase 1, 4 📷 / 3 📷 in phase 2, and 3 📷 / 1 📷 when below 15% 📷 / 10% 📷 health.
  • Servants of Cthulhu now gain increased velocity and acceleration while enraged, and now push away from each other.
  • Now fires blood shots if at the maximum number of Servants.
  • Increased charge speed, and successive charges now increase in speed, but it now backs away to at least 20 tiles of distance before charging if too close to the player.
  • Now enters phase 2 at 60% health instead of 75%.
  • Now fires spreads of 3 blood shots while hovering above the player, and inflicts Bleeding for 3 seconds on contact in phase 2.
  • Now starts performing chain dashes and horizontal dashes at 30% health, instead of chain dashes at 65% health and horizontal dashes at 40% health.
  • Now performs less chain dashes before a horizontal dash when below 15% 📷 / 20% 📷 health.
• Now hovers above and charges at the player faster in both phases, spawns Servants faster, shoots Servants and blood shots at a faster velocity, charges four times instead of three, has decreased charge delay as its health lowers, has a faster phase 2 transition, and lines up closer to the player during horizontal charges in Death Mode.
• Now gains a small boost to its enrage scale, has increased Servant velocity, and enters phase 2 at 75% health in Master Mode.
• Now spawns Servants even faster, can spawn stronger Bloodletting Servants that charge at the player, switches between attacks faster, has increased blood shot velocity, has a smaller delay between charges, fires 4-5 blood shots in a wider spread in phase 2, starts performing chain dashes and horizontal dashes at 40% health, has a chance to do two consecutive horizontal dashes, and spawns less Servants below 20% 📷 / 15% 📷 health in Revengeance Master Mode.
• Increased Servant spawn rate in the For the worthy seed.
• Extra blood shots in Legendary Mode now travel faster and are shot more rapidly.

Golem

• Buffed body health from 30,000 / 45,000 📷 / 54,000 📷 / 57,375 📷 / 68,850 📷 📷 to 30,000 / 45,000 📷 / 67,500 📷 / 57,375 📷 / 86,062 📷 📷.
• Buffed head health from 20,000 / 30,000 📷 / 36,000 📷 / 38,250 📷 / 45,900 📷 📷 to 20,000 / 30,000 📷 / 45,000 📷 / 38,250 📷 / 57,375 📷 📷.
• Buffed body fireball damage in Classic and Expert Mode from 58 / 116 📷 to 72 / 132 📷, laser damage from 56 / 112 📷 to 80 / 140 📷, head fireball damage from 48 / 94 📷 to 60 / 120 📷, and inferno bolt damage from 64 / 128 📷 to 88 / 156 📷.
• Attached head no longer deals contact damage, body no longer deals contact damage while not jumping, and fists no longer deal contact damage while not punching in all difficulties.
• Fireballs and lasers no longer gain damage as its health lowers.
• Revengeance Mode changes:
  • No longer enrages if the head does not have line of sight with the player.
  • Decreased vertical jump velocity, but increased horizontal jump velocity.
  • Increased fist punch and return speed, and they no longer take knockback while above 50% health.
  • Increased fireball and laser velocity from the head.
  • Increased velocity of fireballs spawned when landing from a jump after the head is killed.
  • Increased free head's speed and acceleration, overall making its movement more rigid. Increased how long it takes to switch positions at lower health.
  • Free head can no longer fire projectiles if too close to the player.
  • Inferno bolts from the head now use yellow dust instead of orange, and now additionally emit spark particles.
• Now makes fists punch more frequently, lasers have a higher velocity, jumps more frequently and with a higher horizontal velocity, and falls faster in Master Mode.
• Now spawns with 4 fists, fists have a random punch delay, fists spawn explosions when punching, shoots 2 fireballs which increases to 3 after the fists are killed, gains a new jump attack where he rises above the player before slamming down on them and firing lasers, spawns more fireballs when landing from a jump after the head is killed that have higher velocity, freed head moves faster and always has its final movement pattern, freed head lasers travel at different speeds, and freed head can always fire inferno bolts in Revengeance Master Mode.

again this isn't everything, but have fun with the new update guys

I just saw the vid of him using gift cards that At Home allegedly gave him.. $100 lmao but anywho, I think he posts so many “shopping” vids at the same stores like TJ Maxx especially because he’s trying to get a brand deal with these bigger name stores. He pretends to go shopping but barely ever buys anything but a few small items and always shows juicy couture or specific name brand stuff almost on purpose in hopes they will see it and either send him free shit or want some sort of brand deal. He shows a lot in the videos but buys like 1 or 2 small things, idk just seems strategic to me lol

Episode 93: Bittersweet Reunions

You all were making your way southeast from where you were laying low from Kymal, hopefully to get to Zephrah to find the Tempest. Yet only a couple days out from where you were keeping cover, Opal had a bit of a moment, exploded out a bunch of gems and spiderwebs triggering the forceful conversion by the Spider Queen of Opal into Opal the Twice-Crowned Champion of the Spider Queen. Opal, your friends love you so much and they are currently fighting to the death to save you. Currently, just as a little reminder for the group, we have a big ol’ bubble of Darkness in the middle of the field, so none of you saw Ted disappear back into Opal’s body as Opal grows, stretches out a little taller, three sets of arms, and renewed specific, violent purpose to shake you off, to get away, so that she can take her place beside or in front of the Spider Queen for whatever’s coming as the Moon of Ill Omen turns its gaze on the gods of Exandria. We have Haste, we have Darkness, and a Bless.

♪Episode Song References♪

ᕕ( ᐛ)ᕗ

• 00:38:28 ♪Eliza♪ Hamilton Musical - Burn
• 00:52:50 Kenny Loggins - Danger Zone
• 01:00:00 Astrud Gilberto - Girl from Ipanema
• 01:25:54 Megan thee Stallion - Body
• 01:27:24 “do you remember” Earth Wind & Fire - September
• 01:31:29 “makinhisway” Vanessa Carlton - A Thousand Miles
• 01:32:15 Aimee’s recorder John Williams - Jurassic Park Theme
• 02:44:39 Oasis - Wonderwall
• 02:44:43 Lynyrd Skynyrd - Freebird

Highlights

• 00:01:53 “Impendent woman”
• 00:06:00 Juicy Couture callback to Chetney’s sweatpants
• 00:18:53 Opal gets the Spider Queen info download on Ruidus and The Sleeper within (Predathos)
• 00:19:48 Aimee begins to sound feral getting into character.
• 00:21:26 Opal attempts to use perfume to calm the Spider Queen
• 00:22:54 Matt’s happy Bless dance Dariax:“Come at me Queen!”
• 00:23:45 Anjali:“Boof.”
• 00:25:49 Matt:“Channelling our friend, Luis.” Aabria:“Zerxus! Arkwards (awkward)!” Matt:“It saved Avalir.” Aabria:“Oof. Too soon. Too fucking soon.”
• 00:26:45 Just trying to get “dick-adjacent”
• 00:28:33 Aimee:“Remember the handies!”
• 00:33:33 Aabria:(cursing Bless under her breath)“Motherfucker.”
• 00:35:25 Erica:“Thanks so much. Honor to be nominated, happy to be here.”
• 00:36:26 Erica:“Yeah it actually says, ‘Fuck Aabria’.”
• 00:41:41 I have made you. I have given you martial prowess, I’ve offered you magic to serve my aims. Perhaps it is my fault for not telling you the stakes. There is a being, a beast, a monster that followed my siblings. This thing followed them, chased them, and threatens to return. I have no love for the Spider Queen or her working, but she fights now to defend her life. And i serve life and death. That means so do you. Morrighan Ferus, why are you fighting, and what are you fighting for?.. You are no abomination, Opal, when she agreed to wear the vestige, she knew or didn’t consider what that would entail. I have not asked that of you yet. It is a conversation. What she agreed to, she agreed to. So you have a choice to make. I can tell you. Should I tell you? Run! This is not where you die! I did not make you mine to fall here.
• 00:49:45 Aabria:“Do I want to be mean?” Robbie:“Sure.” Matt:“Yeah. Always go mean.”
• 00:51:26 Cyrus is struck. Matt and Robbie look down and then at each other with instant regret for tempting fate.
• 00:52:10 Dariax:“Wait, uppies, uppies!”
• 00:56:12 Fy’ra Rai asks the Wildmother’s blessing to assist the Spider Queen. The response, though unspoken, is an invitation for Fy’ra Rai to pledge herself to the Wildmother as the official champion before joining Opal on her path.
• 01:03:44 Fy’ra with arms wide
• 01:08:13 Fy’ra Rai pledges herself to the Wildmother after being counterspelled and finding Dariax in a panic.
• 01:08:30 “It’s all I have.”
• 01:12:33 Matt explains to Anjali that they’re still in the first round of combat and he hasn’t gone yet.
• 01:13:16 Opal’s cast of Suggestion succeeds on the Double D’s “Just walk away. Go see Orym.”
• 01:13:42 Aabria:“Naur.” Erica:“Aur naur.”
• 01:15:25 Aabria’s slow grin at the suggestion to find Orym.
• 01:23:56 Aabria:“Yeah, she didn’t give you syphilis.”
• 01:27:03 Aabria:'How do I get the back of her knee vagina?" Matt:“If it worked for Scott Pilgrim, it can work for you.”
• 01:29:34 Dariax finally gets his turn. Casts Mass Cure Wounds and leaves.
• 01:32:35 Matt:“I’m a messy baby.”
• 01:38:48 A spider crushes nearby gems and Opal loses the memory of her name before it was Opal.
• 01:41:40 Giant spider with mammalian teeth.
• 01:43:36 2nd failed death save (rolled at disadvantage due to the poisoned condition as per DM flavor)
• 01:45:26 Opal:“You’ve taken everything from me, I have nothing else to lose.” SQ:“That’s definitely not true.” a spider minion immediately kills Cyrus Wyvernwing.
• 01:45:53 If you watch closely, you can see Robbie’s eyes flash right under the brim of his hat in a cool-looking way. The beginning of Dorian Storm’s revenge arc.
• 01:47:07 Mic Drop Moment SQ:“Well, at least they know it wasn’t your fault because you decided to run your fucking mouth.” Matt:(exhales) Even through it all, you cannot help but hear the shake in her voice.
• 01:49:54 Matt does the Hastag Blessed Jutsu
• 01:51:27 Fan Art Moment Morrighan’s brutal revenge kill on the spider that killed Cyrus.
• 01:52:33 “…and I look over to the dick gems…”

Drama & Dickgems replaces Dungeons & Dragons

• 01:53:24 “…like a tiara, cheaply made, where the gemstones fall out.” (callback to the Byroden Beauty Pageant crown)
• 01:54:10 Morrighan:“I want you to know that no matter what you do here, you can always come back. No matter what. I know you don’t mean it and I know you’ll never ever be her abomination.” Opal:“Sorry.” Morrighan:“You don’t need to be, this is bigger than all of us.”
• 01:55:12 Erica:“There’s so much blood and it’s all over the dick gems.” Aabria:“Please take inspiration.”
• 01:57:03 *As you turn your back on Opal, taking with you the dick gems and the sense that there is some part of her the Spider Queen will never take away from her. You are joined at your side by the spirit of Cyrus, as your time with the Matron of Ravens is just beginning. One of the duties of her chosen is to escort people ‘Home’…
• 01:58:23 Aabria:“Stress piss brought to you by WizKids.” (pun!)
• 02:04:57 Dorian casts Geas at 7th level compelling the giant spider to hunt and kill the Spider Queen for a year.
• 02:09:52 ASMR session
• 02:11:37 Mic Drop Moment Anjali:“I just gave myself to the goddess to save Opal. I’m either gonna tear that shit off her head or I’m going to be fighting beside her for the gods.”
• 02:18:03 Fy’ra Rai joins the call. Aimee:"Now entering: Fy’ra Rai (great impression!)
• 02:19:13 Fy’ra:“No, I have a sister to walk beside.”
• 02:23:49 SQ:“You are aware of the danger. Do you know what she’s up against? What your goddess is up against. Ludinus doesn’t know. He is a petulant child.”
• 02:25:25 You are locked in a moment with the Spider Queen, a long one. In the time that you have known them, you knew that she’d circled your friends, finding her way in through the vestige you all found. Though you were not there when it was found, you were part. Who to tempt? Who to bring over? The Spider Queen is many things, but not a fool, and she knew better than to bark up your particular tree too hard. But she is Rattled. You know that all of this, the death and destruction and compulsion is from someone with no other recourse. Who calls themself a god and what happens when that pride is shaken; When mortality is back on the table? You are looking a woman in the eye and she needs all the friends she can get.
• 02:32:03 Opal:“If we see another side to this, I’m going to call you a cunt with my whole chest.”
• 02:33:33 Dariax finishes climbing down. Seeing Dorian and Morrighan leaving Cyrus’ body behind, he obeys Opal’s warning and leaves in direction of Dorian.
• 02:42:42 Dorian:"I want revenge, Dariax, badly. Do you think you can take revenge against the universe? Do you think you can fight back against gods and monsters?
• 02:46:46 Dorian gives Dariax his lute and Cyrus’ favorite cup and sets him up in a good spot to make a living as a busker. Then he turns away, drops his smile, casts invisibility and leaves to find the Tempest.
• 02:48:19 Aimee:“He left us. He left us!” Jurassic Park reference
• 02:49:15 “Titties out in blue and chiffon” Dorian seeks the Tempest in Zephrah. Erica does a titty dance.

INTERMISSION

It is here, Dorian Storm, after emerging from the tree, the Voice of the Tempest that you’ve briefly encountered in your previous travels with Orym before you and Fearne and him made your way to the continent of Marquet, to adventures that have thrown all manner of chaos, challenge, and sorrow into everyone’s lives since. Still holding close to that pain, you watch as Keyleth approaches, acknowledging you, present though magically cloaked, and says, “Dorian, it is good to see you. What brings you to Zephrah?”

• 03:09:13 Dorian begs Keyleth to retrieve the body of Cyrus.
• 03:17:05 Dorian receives a sending message from Orym.
• 03:20:43 Keyleth:“It all comes to the Hellcatch, where the god eater that sits in the core of that moon seeks to be released and devour the pantheon.” Keyleth briefs Dorian on the situation with Ruidus.
• 03:24:48 Dorian:“Well, I would say ‘To the Ends of the Earth’, but it seems as if we’re already there.”
• 03:29:42 Reunited and it feels so good. Laura enters with a titty dance inspired by Erica. Lots of hugs happen.
• 03:36:59 Dorian doesn’t know how to talk to Evoroa and reverts to pet talk.
• 03:37:27 Fan Art Moment Evoroa’s cytaa skittering out, grabbing food from Dorian, screeching, and returning to the robes.
• 03:43:22 Dorian:“It’s a long story. My brother died. My two best friends became the champions of the Matron of Ravens and the Spider Queen.” Imogen:“How long ago was that, Dorian?” Dorian:“Yesterday.”
• 03:47:33 Dorian:“It almost feels like years of lore.”
• 03:48:13 The classic Exandrian stage play of Pac Man
• 03:48:32 Dorian:“What is your plan in all of this?” noises Dorian:“That is not a good sound.”
• 03:50:45 Imogen:“Are you back, Dorian?” (John Wick reference?)
• 03:56:06 You begin to recall a handful of stories that Dariax had mentioned in passing of a particular woman that taught him that you can be both attracted and deeply afraid of a person.
• 03:59:30 Liam becomes the Aliens Meme Guy.
• 04:00:00 Ashton’s booze run.
• 04:02:47 Cheers.

Hi All! Shipping is $6. All prices negotiable as I really just want to clear out this stash! Please feel free to low-ball me 🙂
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~~~~~PERFUME~~~~~
Nui Cobalt Designs full sizes:
Bee You Tiful (Honey-roasted pistachio and chestnut, pink magnolia, and sweet apple blossom.) - 5mL, decanted 2mL with clean pipette, so ~3mL left. $9 PENDING
Bee Kind to Yourself (White copal, blooming peony, honeyed tea, pink amber, and sheer summer-weight cashmere.) - 5mL, decanted 2mL with clean pipette, so ~3mL left. $9
Nui Cobalt Designs sample sizes: $2 each, all tested once.
Samba (Ripe golden starfuit, tart açaí berries, cocobolo wood and cool water lily in an infusion of bold hibiscus and Yerba Mate.)
Charleston (Crisp champagne, sugared bourbon, ginger root and birch bark, blonde tobacco, lemon creme and dry hinoki wood with the delicate flirtation of neroli.)
Victorian Burlesque (Indigo musk, sparkling plum wine, night blooming jasmine, blackcurrant jam, green cardamom and cinnamon crème brûlée.)
Cancan (Lavender lemon cupcakes and a touch of true cognac under ruffled red satin, sugared absinthe, and a wisp of fine tobacco in the footlights.)
Disco (Champagne, juicy purple plum, black styrax, creamy non-indolic jasmine, ylang ylang, and a twist of mandarin.)
Ecstatic Dance (Ceremonial cacao, rose-gold musk, raw honeycomb, pink grapefruit, glowing amber, and a trace of palo santo.)
East Coast Swing (Lush, genderless rose, pink peppercorn, bronze musk, copaiba balsam, antique oakwood, and a twist of yuzu.)
Saturn (Black oudh, imperial iris, bergamot, myrrh, patchouli, cypress, scorched poplar, tonka bean, and Moroccan musk.)
Melophilia (The rich mahogany, pale maple, and spruce woods of a violin, rosin on its bow, a vase of white heliotrope, dry vanilla, and French lemon verbena.)
Sphynx (Golden plum preserves, amber resin, warm santal, guaiac wood, frankincense, and a slender twist of yellow mandarin.)
Fairy Garden (Cool dewdrops cupped in clover leaves, early purple orchid, a porcelain thimble of green tea with oat milk, and frosted almond cakes served in an acorn cap.)
Sleeping Beauty & the Importance of Consent (Night-blooming flowers, white amber, Hawaiian and Australian sandalwoods, olive leaf, and Madagascar vanilla.)
Pele’s Fire (Sacred ʻōhelo berry, torch ginger, ʻōhiʻa flower, lehua honey, skin musk, and woodsmoke.)
Canoodling in a Cove (Salty skin, aquatic musk, Nag Champa, tiare, blue amber, and still-warm sand.)
Comfort & Joy (English tea, frothy vanilla creme, smoked ambrette, wood musk, tonka butter, and a blush of ripe apricot.)
STONE & WIT SAMPLES - all tested once, $4 each.
-Wandering Star (Pear, cashmere, iso e, guaicwood, brown sugar, white musks)
-Blackberry Heartwood (Blackberries, warm greens, sandalwood, amyris)
-Ashara (Nilgiri tea, black ink, white agar, palm dates)
NAVA
-Lilac Kobalt (Egyptian Lilac, Water Lily, Rare Pink Lotus, Studio Limited Kobalt (Vanilla Orchid Leaves) along with Blue Amber. 2021 blend) - FULL SIZE tested 3x. $20. PENDING
-Eternal Tut Ankh Amun (Bourbon Vanille Absolute, Crystalline Absolute, Tonka Absolute, Bastet's Vanilla Bean Absolute accord, and White Amber) - 2ml, BNNU, $10.
Deconstructing Eden
-Gymnopedie (Cold stone, raindrops, fog, and pale amber lights.) - 5mL, tested once. $12
-Augusta (Dark green leaves, cool night air, and, glorious gardenias blooming above it all.) - 5mL, tested once. $12
-Star Jasmine (Narcotic jasmine blooming on a rainy night.) - 5mL, tested once. $12
Alkemia
-Apsara (Dark purple hyacinth flowers and Darjeeling tea dance together in a sensually alluring spring pas de deux.) - 5mL extrait, roller ball top added by me, used once. $15.
BPAL SAMPLES - all BNNU, $4 each
-Mouse's Sad Long Tale (Vanilla, two ambers, sweet pea and white sandalwood.)
-Tweedledee (Ridiculous! Kumquat, white pepper, white tea and orange blossom.)
-A Rovin’ (Sultry red musk, heady jasmine, tobacco leaf, red sandalwood, hay sugar, golden honey, sweet carnations, and warm leather.)
~~~~~MAKEUP~~~~
Sydney Grace Lucky Peach - full pan eyeshadow, swatched only. $6
Rituel de Fille - Ghost Light rare light creme luminizer (used twice). $30
LINK TO NAIL POLISH DESTASH if interested!

Earth's orbit experiences an “Orbital Eccentricity”, 100,000 year cycle orbit and inclination variation, going from circular to elliptical, the hemispheres experience more or less sun or exposure to the sun for extended periods, causing ice ages. Scientists estimate we are near the minimum, a 6% change in solar energy. At peak, the earth experiences a change of 30%.
Modern Day Primates, in the wild and captivity, are able to communicate, near and far, using verbal and gesture components, even to other species. Have been observed using wood as tools, and in using medicinal plants to treat wounds.
44 million y a - Hominid ancestors acquire Herpes virus.
10 million y a - Primate ancestors develop genes to digest alcohol.
6 million years ago - Primate ancestors split from Chimpanzee/Bonobo line (15 million DNA mutations have occurred since then; each person born today has 100 mutations distinct to them, most don’t survive.)
5.3 m y a - Mediterranean Sea experiences the Messinian Salinity Crisis, for 600,000 years the Straight of Gibraltar closed off, causing the Mediterranean to shrink down to two inland seas with Italy and Greece separating them. Ends in the Zanclean Flood, a river of Atlantic sea water flows thru Gibraltar and fills the Mediterranean in 2 years.
5 m y a - Arabian-African continent reconnects with Asia. Land based Turtle species start going extinct.
4 - 3 m y a - Hominid ancestors acquire pubic lice from Gorillas (genetic evidence).
3.6 - 2.58 m y a - Considered the Neogene Period.
3.3 m y a - Stone tools found in Kenya and Ethiopia.
2.6 m y a - Mode One Stone Tools found in Ethiopia, would subsequently spread. Flourished to 1.7 million y a in southern and eastern Africa. Paleolithic (Old Stone Age) Era (2.6 m y a till end of last Ice Age, 11,000 y a). Subdivided into the Early- or Lower Paleolithic (c. 2,6 million years ago - c. 250,000 years ago); the Middle Paleolithic (c. 250,000 years ago - c. 30,000 years ago); and the Late- or Upper Paleolithic (c. 50,000/40,000 - c. 10,000 years ago)
2.58 million - 11,700 years ago - Considered the start of the Quaternary Period, and covers the Pleistocene.
2.4 – 1.4 m y a – Homo Habilis (4.5-3.5 feet tall).
2 m years ago - Earliest Hominids start eating meat.
1.9 – 1.8 m y a – Homo Rudolfensis.
1.89 m y a to 110,000 y a - Homo Erectus (first to leave Africa and spread across Asia).
1.8 m years ago - Mode One Stone Tools found on Java.
1.7 m years ago - Mode Two Stone Tools (slicing, hand-axe/butchering, evidence of drilling tools) appear in Kenya and southern Africa.
1.6 m years ago - Mode One Stone Tools found in northern China.
1.6 - 1.5 m y a - Africa, Turkana Boy dies, likely from a tooth cavity infection. He was either 8 or 11-12 years old and 61 inches tall. Brain 880 ccm.
1.5 m y a - Kenya, possible start of Hominids using fire to cook food. (increase in caloric intake, which would lead to evolution; however, Paranthropus Boisei is the local species, brain 500-550 ccm, 54 inches tall)
1 million years ago - Likely split between ancestor of Homo Sapiens and proto-Neanderthal-Denisovan species. (Mitochondrial DNA evidence.) South Africa, evidence of fire use for cooking.
1 m - 700,000 y a - Java, Java Man dies, brain 900 ccm. 5' 8" tall.
900,000 y a – Possible earliest use of boats.
820,000 - 580,000 y a - Durum Wheat develops out of natural hybridization with Einkorn Wheat (genetic analysis).
800,000? y a - Low world temperatures recorded. Height of Ice Age?
790,000 y a - Levant, oldest Fire hearths found. (Homo Heidelbergensis, 1,250 ccm brain, 69 in tall)
740,000? y a - Height of Ice Age?
7-200,000 y a – Homo Heidelbergensis (East Africa and Europe, likely first to hunt large animals with spears)
640,000? y a - Height of Ice Age.
550,000? y a - Height of Ice Age?
540,000 - 430,000 y a - Art: Sea shell formed into decoration by Homo Erectus. (Could indicate when sea shells began to be used as whistles and horns.)
530,000? y a - Interglacial Peak (between Ice Ages, high CO2 content in the atmosphere, 524-474,000).
500,000 y a - South Africa, evidence of Spears. Genetic evidence of Neanderthal spread from Europe to Caspian Sea, Denisovans occupied land from Caspian to the east.
450,000 y a - Earliest physical evidence of Neanderthal.
450,000 y a - Global temperatures had dropped, stayed that way for thousands of years.
430,000 - 230,000 y a - Durum Wheat cross-breeds with wild Goat Grass (genetic analysis).
400,000 y a - Interglacial Peak (between Ice Ages, 424-374,000).
400,000 y a - Germany, oldest Spears found. France (Terra Amata), possible evidence of manmade shelter using prepared wood.
360,000? y a - Height of Ice Age.
335-236,000 y a – Homo Naledi (South Africa, 4’9”)
310,000 y a - Interglacial Peak (between Ice Ages, 337-300,000).
300,000 y a – Mode Three Stone Tools (smaller knife-like, scrapers, developed in Europe by Neanderthals)
300,000-200,000 y a – Africa, Origin of Male Y-Chromosome that all current males are descended from. (40% of males do not reproduce.)
270,000? y a - Height of Ice Age.
240,000 y a - Interglacial Peak (between Ice Ages, 242–230,000).
200,000 y a - France, evidence of Neanderthals fishing. Africa, "Mitochondrial Eve," source of all Human Haplo-groups that everyone is descended from, existed at this time.
194,000-135,000 y a - Penultimate Glacial Period.
190,000 y a - Early physical evidence of Denisovans. (At least three interbreeding events would occur with Homo Sapiens. EPAS1 gene, hemoglobin concentration, Tibetan plateau.)
190,000-50,000 y a - Flores Island, evidence of tool use by the Human Hobbit.
170,000 - 80,000 y a - Body Lice evolve (genetic evidence, feed on human skin, live in clothing; evidence of clothing)
164,000 y a – South Africa, heat treating Silcrete Stone to enhance stone tool production.
140,000 y a - Homo Sapiens found in Europe.
130,000 y a - Evidence of humans in North America. Crete, earliest human settlements found on the island. Art: Neanderthal necklace made of eagle talons. Croatia: Neanderthal teeth show possible dental work.
125,000 y a - Interglacial Peak (between Ice Ages, 130-115,000). Sea levels 4-6 meters (18 feet) higher then today.
110,000-15,000 y a - Last Glacial Period. Grey Wolves would migrate from North America back to Asia prior to the maximum.
100,000-60,000 y a - Flores Island, bone fossil evidence of the Human Hobbit.
100,000 y a - Oldest example of proper human burial. South Africa, Pigment (paint) Creation Kit found. (would cover bodies in mud/clay and then spray the paint over the bodies, sun screen-protection from insects)
90,000 y a – Harpoons.
86,000-37,000 y a – Neanderthal and Homo Sapiens begin interbreeding, based on genetic evidence found so far.
75,000 years ago - Likely rise of Hunter Genotype in Homo Sapiens.
75,000 y a - Art: Drilled snail shells found in South African cave.
73,000 y a - South Africa (Blombos Cave), evidence of Red Ochre art on pieces of stone, stone with deliberate lines cut into it possibly representing count marks.
72,000 y a - South Africa, Beads found in cave.
70,000 y a - Mitochondrial DNA suggests this is when the Haplo-group of early humans migrated out of Africa to populate the rest of the world.
70-60,000 y a - Earliest evidence of bone and stone arrowheads (for Spear Throwers), found in South Africa. 64,000?
70,000 - 35,000 BCE - Neanderthal burials in Europe and Middle East.
68-16,000 y a – Smallpox evolves from an African Rodent Virus.
67,000 BCE - France, burial shows skulls with Trepanation (cutting holes to relieve brain pressure), earliest example of surgery.
65,000 y a - First humans settle Australia.
64,000 y a - Spain, oldest evidence found of Cave Art (Neanderthal hand).
61,000 y a - South Africa, possible evidence of a Sewing Needle.
60,000? y a - Height of Ice Age?
60,000 y a - Evidence of man/Neanderthal using herbal medicine.
55,000 - 40,000 y a - Italy, evidence of Neanderthal using Pine Tree Resin and Beeswax for hafting tools, in cave. (Beeswax can be used in making Candles.)
52,000 y a - Last evidence of Denisovans.
52,000 – 41,000 y a – Archaeological find of “Bast” tree fiber twisted into primitive cordage, possibly as handle for a Stone Tool. (meaning they had access to Clothing, Nets, Cord for Fishing or Hafting tools, rope; thinking processes of Counting, Sets, Patterns, and possibly abstract thinking)
50,000 - 10,000 y a - Mode Four Stone Tools (long blades).
50,000 y a - Australia, last evidence of megafauna. Siberia, needle made from bone found in Denisovan cave. Genetic evidence of Neanderthal spreading to western edge of China.
50,000 years ago - End point of development of Gatherer Genotype (can survive famine), Teacher Genotype (can handle new and different environments, analytical).
45,000 y a - Evidence of Neanderthal and Homo Sapien interbreeding. (Fossil found, DNA tested.) (France, to create stone tools required precision, “Soft Hammers” were likely used.)
44,000 y a - Evidence of art found in Indonesia.
44,000-40,000 y a - Europe experiences cold and dry weather, displacing populations.
43-42,000 y a - Germany, oldest musical instruments (flutes) found.
42,000 y a - Australia, skeleton of man suggests Atlatl use, pre-dating earliest evidence; earliest example of cremation found. Spain, small amounts of Natural Gold found in a cave.
40,000 y a - (Mankind is at the “Forager” level.) Last evidence of Neanderthal. (Inheritance of "STAT2" gene, immune response. HYAL2 gene, helps skin recover from sunburns.) China, test on body found that ate a lot of fresh water fish. Possible example of oldest petroglyphs. Beads found in Lebanon.
40,000 - 26,000 y a - Studying toe bones, showed they became smaller and weaker, indicating shoes were worn. Prior to this, shoes were likely bags wrapped around feet to protect from cold.
38,000 BC - First appearance of Mode Five Ground Stone tools on Japan. (rock was quarried; thin slivers of flint stone, attached to hafts, man is learning the use of a "handle" for tools and "leverage", create Adzes, Celts, and Axes; grinding helps to penetrate trees and was likely discovered when grinding plant matter; found buried with owners; were traded) Lasted till 14,000 BC. (Would not become popular elsewhere until 10,000 BC?) Germany: Clay Figurine featuring human with lion like appearance, thought to be earliest representation of a Deity.
35,000 BCE - Europe, earliest examples of "Venus figurines" found buried in graves (some showing they were deliberately broken or stabbed repeatedly); would later spread to rest of Eurasia. Early examples of skulls and long bones showing red ochre, indicating possible relic worship.
35,000 y a - Germany, flute made from a vulture bone found.
30,000 BCE – Solomon Islands, first humans settle (60 km sea voyage).
31,000 - 27,000 y a - Evidence of Pit Fire (Earthernware) Pottery developing.
30,000-20,000 years ago - Explorer genotype (Ice Age refugees, idiosyncratic, asymmetrical, contrarian mentality)
30,000 y a - Evidence of starch residue on rocks, indicating where plant matter was pounded and ground. (Would likely be the pre-cursor of developing bread from roots of cattails and ferns. Quern Grinding Stones would spread and gain popularity.) Georgia, Flax used as a textile (harvested, dyed, and knotted) found in Dzudzuana Cave. Fertile Crescent, Einkorn wheat harvested in it's wild form. Evidence of man using the Atlatl. Poland: Boomerang carved from mammoth tusk found. France, Lunar Calendar. Likely when Bolas (stone weight(s) and length of cord) began to be used.
28,000 y a - Europe, oldest evidence of rope.
25,000 - 15,000 BCE - Blood Type A develops in the Fertile Crescent. (able to survive Plague, Cholera, Smallpox)
27,000 y a - Australia, oldest example of petroglyphs found. Czech Republic, earliest example of "Weaving" of material together to create baskets and basic cloth. (Leads to counting and simple math, organizing.)
26,000-13,300 y a - Considered "Glacial Maximum", ice sheets extend to the 45th parallel north. (26,500 considered to be maximum glacial reach.)
23,000 - 12,000 y a – Europe, Perforated Batons found, made of antler, assumed to be a form of Atlatl that uses a leather strap or string to wrap around the spear and give it a slight spin, arrow or spear thrower (similar to Swiss Arrow). Right and left handed throwers find preference. Most carved with Horses, have one or two holes (one had 8 holes).
23,000 y a - Israel, Ohalo archaeological site, hunter-gatherer society (6 brushwood shelters, 132 stone tools some attached to hafts, stone Sickles, dwellings showed flint tools were made at entrance, cooking at other end, grind stone showed sand and cobbles to place and had U-shape of seeds around it) that grew/harvested Barley, Millet, Bromus (grass in same tax tribe as wheat/barley/rye, can be used for fermenting beverages, can be eaten by humans and animals), Rubus (same family as Rose plants, similar to blackberries), and various fruits (seeds from 13 different species), earliest evidence for “Bedding” material.
22,000 – 17,000 y a – France, Solutrean inhabitants make use of Antler.
21,000-17,000 y a - France, Atlatl's found in caves.
20,000 y a - Height of the Ice Age, sea levels 120 meters (360 feet) lower. Mode Five Stone Tools (microliths glued to handles, Fertile Crescent). Earliest example of a building/house found. Ukraine, Bullroarer (wood on rope that is swung around to create sound over long distance) found. Iraq-Iran, Zarzian Culture, had domesticated Dogs.
19,050? - 13,050 y a - Oldest Dryas Period, stadial, abrupt cooling period. Sea levels rose 10-15 m in 500 years.
17,000 BCE - Mesopotamia, Wild Emmer Wheat harvested.
18,000 - 17,500 y a - Siberia, earliest example of a domesticated dog found frozen. Germany, Bow and Arrows found. Early evidence of Darts used.
18,000 y a - Japan, oldest pottery discovered.
15,100 - 14,000 y a - Morocco, earliest example of a cemetery.
15,000 y a – Mode Five Stone Tools reach Europe. Southern France, cave art depicting possible Musical Bow, Nose Flute; "The Sorcerer," a figure showing human and many animal qualities (bison), made out of Clay.
15,000 – 10,000 y a – France, Stone Oil Lamps.
14,500 y a - Oldest example of bread making, Jordan desert.
14,160 - 13,820 y a - Archaeological find: infected tooth partially cleaned out with flint tools.
14,600 - 13,600 y a - "Melt Water Pulse," sea levels rose 16-24 m.
14,000? y a - Older Dryas Period, around 200 year cooling period.
13,500 - 8,200 y a - China, wild Rice domestication event occurs.
15-10,000 BCE - Himalayas, development of Blood Type B.
11,050 BCE - Syria, attempts at domesticating Rye.
13,000 y a - Greece, evidence of lentils found. Earliest evidence of Amber used in jewelry. Israel, archaeological evidence of beer like gruel for ceremonial purposes found at Haifa. Likely beginning of Slavery.
13,000 - 12,700 y a - Fertile Crescent, archaeological evidence of man corralling and using pigs.
12,900 - 11,700 y a - The Younger Dryas Period, when temperatures went cold instead of warming from the Last Glacial Maximum.
10,000 BCE - Jericho, considered mankind's first town, is established. Buildings of clay and straw, dead buried under homes. (Would reach 70 dwellings by 94,000 BCE.) Chickpeas domesticated. Earliest evidence of the Bottle Gourd being domesticated and used (Africa and Asia variety). Azerbaijan (Caspian Sea), petroglyphs of reed boats. Starting point of Ocarina type flutes. Cyprus, humans arrive. Germany, Jet artifact (Botfly larvae, which can be eaten). Curved Stone Oil Lamps.
11,700 y a - Considered the beginning of the Holocene.
9600 BCE - Southern Levant, earliest use of wild Emmer Wheat.
11,500 - 11,000 y a - "Melt Water Pulse," sea levels rose 28 m.
11,400 y a - Cypress, archaeological evidence of pigs (indicating they had been domesticated and brought from the mainland).
9400 - 9200 BCE - Jordan Valley, Fig trees found, indicating earliest agriculture since these trees could not reproduce.
9130 - 7370 BCE - SE Turkey, Gobekli Tepe, oldest known worship location.
9000 BCE - Syria, oldest (Saddle) Quern found. Mesopotamia, Copper first used. Bartering of Cattle and agricultural products likely occurring at this time.
9000 - 3300 BCE - Neolithic Era, roughly. Time period of when man has begun herding, before using bronze.
11,000 - 9,000 y a - Mesopotamia, domestication of Sheep; Rammed Earth construction technique developed. Iran, Domestication of Goat (focused on management of the animal, varieties would come later).
11,000-4,000 years ago - Warrior genotype (farmers, soldiers, inventors); Nomad genotype (life upon a horse, can handle different environments, good immune system)
11 or 10,000 y a - Last Ice Age ends.
8800 BCE - Emmer Wheat spreads beyond the Levant.
8700 BCE - Iraq, Copper pendant.
8500 BCE - Domestication of Barley. Domestication of peas occurs around this time. Turkey, Beer production found at Gobekli Tepe. Domestication of Cattle from the Aurochs (two separate populations, one in Mesopotamia [pop. 80], the other Pakistan). (Rendering cattle bones into Tallow allows for the creation of Candles. Beeswax also used.) Oregon, oldest pair of shoes found made from bark twine. Oats possibly start to be harvested, crop mirrors wheat (is like a weed).
8400 BCE – Cyprus, earliest dug Water Well (26 ft).
10,300 - 8,700 y a - China, Millet harvested.
10,200 - 9,500 y a - Emmer Wheat domesticated(?).
10,000 - 7,000 y a - Archaeological evidence of boats.
8000 BCE (10,000 years ago) – Genetic evidence of breeding Pigeons. Palestine, archaeological evidence of pastoralism. Pre-Pottery Neolithic people in the Fertile Crescent form perfectly smooth stone vases. Iran, Goat domestication. Believed to be when primitive dairy-cheese making began. Flax cultivation. China, Quern Grinding Stones. England, Antler used in headdress costume.
9,500 y a - Cyprus, earliest evidence of cat domestication. SE Anatolia, cold-working, annealing, smelting, lost wax casting of Copper.
7570 BCE – Indus Valley, Lapis Lazuli artifacts.
7500 - 5700 BCE - Anatolia, Catal Hoyuk develops as a spiritual center, found many clay figurines and impressions (feminine, phallic, hunting).
7400 BCE - A monolith ends up submerged in the Straight of Sicily.
7176 B.C. – Earth hit by one of the most massive Solar Storms from the sun ever recorded (visible at night with the magnetic field interaction).
7000 BCE - Archaeological evidence for pastoralism in Africa. China: evidence of mead (honey, rice, water fermented) in pottery; evidence of musical instruments. India, first archaeological evidence of Dance (cave art); evidence of dentistry. Armenian Highlands, art depictions of Cymbals. Durum Wheat made thru artificial selection in Europe and Near East. Greece, earliest evidence of grain silos. Turkey, Catal Hoyuk, art depiction of a Slinger. Afghanistan, Lapis Lazuli mined and traded to Indus and Mesopotamia societies. Europe, Cave Wall art of Honey Collecting.
7000 - 6600 BCE - China, domestication of Soy beans.
7000 - 6000 BCE - Turkey, domestication of Bitter Vetch. (Too bitter for human consumption without being boiled several times, has been found to be great for cattle feed.)
6500-3800 BCE - Ubaid Period (Mesopotamian citystates rise, evidence of specialized workers, evidence of taxation)
6500 BCE - Turkey, evidence of lead smelting at Catal Hoyuk. (Wrapping the dead in textiles, too.) China, archaeological evidence of Silk. Kosovo, oldest Ocarina found in Europe.
8,200 - 7,600 y a - Sea levels rise rapidly. Linked to North American great fresh water lake (Agassiz, Ojibway) sudden draining into Atlantic Ocean. 8,400 y a?
6050 BCE - Moldova, evidence of man extracting salt from a natural spring.
8,000 y a - Western Europe, white skin first appears. Iran: earliest evidence of irrigation; man starts choosing sheep for their wooliness, not just meat and skin (2-3,000 years later, would start wearing wool). Georgia, earliest evidence of wine. Spain, cave painting shows people collecting honey from a wild hive, using a container to hold. China, Buckwheat cultivated (near Tibetan plateau), possible first example of Influenza. Earliest evidence of the Ard Plow used (castrating bulls to train 4 years to become Draft Oxen, also means they can be used to haul logs thru and from forests). Mediterranean, Broad (Fava) Beans, Broccoli. Portugal: Almendres Cromlech, begins, aligned to equinox and solstice, occupied for 2,000 years, would become largest complex in Iberian peninsula, equal to other large complexes in Europe. Anatolia: Obsidian polished into mirrors. Spelt Wheat appears. First Stone hafted Axes. Earliest evidence of “Cock Fighting” game fowl. (Iraq, Kiln.)
6000 - 3500 BC - Mesopotamia (Sumer), Poppy domesticated.
7,8-5,000 y a - SE Turkey, Einkorn Wheat grown and domesticated.
5600 BCE - Evidence of The Black Sea Flood, turning the fresh water lake into a salt water sea, rose shorelines and displaced populations (source of flood myths in religions).
7500 y a - Earth experiences a cold climate period? Lasts for 500 or more years.
7500 y a - Earliest example of chickpeas being used. Poland, archaeological evidence of cheese making. Ukraine, Romania, earliest examples of traps used for hunting. Pakistan, evidence of Cotton found in copper beads. Egypt, earliest Combs found (placing a leaf in the teeth can create a primitive sound instrument).
5500-5000 BCE - Serbia, Copper Smelting.
5200 - 4700 BCE - Iran, earliest evidence of a wheel, for pottery, made of stone or clay.
7,000 y a - Earliest example of Dolmen, single chamber tomb, consists of two stones supporting another on top (table design), found in western Europe, would spread and be common 4000 - 3000 BCE in Europe. Iranian plateau, evidence of Bronze made with naturally occurring arsenic. Tin would replace as the major ingredient (and releasing non-toxic vapors) in the late 3000 BCE period. Iran, evidence of wine found, using sealed containers. China, Hemp domestication (smoking was likely cause for spread, Iron Age would use for production); Rammed Earth construction technique, Silkworm domestication begins. Egypt, Badarian culture starts farming, used boomerangs. Roundels, circular enclosure often with entrances aligned to solstice, would be constructed in Central Europe (Germany, 120-150 altogether). Siberia, oldest carpet found (likely a funeral gift, from Armenia, featured griffons). Mesopotamia: first use of Stamp Seals for government purposes; Rotary Quern milling stones are introduced. Armenia: possible origin of Apricots. Lake Zurich, cultivation of Pear. Indus Valley Civilization, using Bitumen aka Asphalt for waterproofing (a basket), adhesive. Bulgaria, Turquoise beads.
6950 - 6440 y a - Papua New Guinea, cultivation of Taro and Yam.
4800 BCE - Egypt, early evidence of peas being grown. Cairn of Barnenez, Brittany, England, begins (burial monument and later bronze age use, considered one of the oldest and largest man made structures).
4700 - 4200 BCE - The town of Solnitstata, considered the oldest known settlement in Europe. Built around a salt deposit.
6,500 y a - Croatia, earliest example of an oven found. Slovenia, dental filling made with beeswax. Indus Valley, irrigation. Wine production reaches Greece. Carnac Stones, Brittany, France; would become large complex of standing stones, menhirs, domens, tumuli (burial mounds, with passage tombs), large rectangle formed by stone. Americas: various tribes domesticated “chili peppers.” Bulgaria, Carnelian beads. Manufactured Red Pottery Oil Lamps.
4500-4000 BCE - China, Investment Casting develops.
4200 - 4000 BCE - Mesopotamia develops true, easy to spin pottery wheels.
6,000 y a - Earth experiences a cold climate period? (Starting maybe 500 years earlier and ending 500 years later.)
4000 BCE - (Mankind has achieved “Farmer status.”) (Thought to be when Cattle were turned into Oxen for Draft Animal purposes.) Egyptians start building big Brick structures; manufacturing Papyrus; Gold artifacts; (domesticated Donkeys?). Earliest examples of Kilns. NE Italy, archaeological find of Appleseeds. Sicily, evidence of wine found. Ukraine, Kazakhstan, Horse domestication begins (they became small and varied in size as compared to their wild ancestors). “Pontic Language Explosion”. [People from north of the Caspian and Black Seas migrated around Eurasia, ancestor of western languages. (shared origins with: milk, horses, sheep, cattle, pigs, goats, grain, copper, carts, yoke, weaving, mead; patrilineal clans)]. Earliest examples of Viticulture (wine making). Levant, earliest examples of harvesting Olives; start using grain Silos. Art: Earliest depiction of Shoes, Sandals. China: example of a Loom for Silk production; Ramie (similar to flax, requires chemical processing, not as popular, believed to be used for Egyptian mummy wraps). Persia (Iran), Mung Bean domestication?, Chang (precursor to Harp) found on artwork, made with sheep guts. Mesopotamia: Stamp Seals come into use; Mirrors made of Copper; 30-40% of animal bones in settlements were pork (understood to be a way of removing trash from community, easy to feed and raise many); Uruk clay tablet describes two temples owning a herd of 95 pigs to be rendered into soap to clean linen; clay pipes for sewage. Europe, farming reaches northern regions. Anatolia, Silver production.
4000 - 1000 BCE - Ethiopia, Teff is discovered (can feed people and livestock, building material).
3800 - 3500 BCE - Czech Republic, possible evidence of earliest plowed fields.
5,700 y a - Lolland Island, a blue eyed, dark haired, dark skin woman spits out some Birch Bark gum; oldest complete human genome extracted; had Mononucleosis ("kissing disease"). Possible archeological evidence of pit traps used for migrating animal hunting.
3630 BCE - Oldest example of silk fabric found.
3600 BCE – Pork bones in settlements (Levant, Mesopotamia) dropped to 16-30% of total livestock.
5,500 - 4,700 y a - Georgia, tomb found had honey remains on pottery. (This culture could identify Linden, Berry, and Meadow-Flower varieties.)
3500 BCE - City of Uruk: (Mesopotamia) begins outward expansion and influence, later first example of organized warfare (would influence Egyptians to start building pyramids); "Cylinder Seals," a type of noble seal, that can be rolled unto wet clay (would be popular until 1000 BCE). Iraq, Kish Tablet, considered to represent the early transition from pictographic to cuneiform. Mesopotamia, earliest Harps and Lyres found; Gold artifacts. Modern humans settle the western coast of Europe, hunter-gatherers. Egyptians show Cat domestication; Gold Smelting; used a vertical Gnomon as a primitive Sundial? Iran, Beer made from Barley. Armenia, earliest Leather Shoe found. China, Pottery in shape of silkworm indicates earliest example of Sericulture (silk worm production).
3500 - 3350 BCE – Mesopotamia, earliest evidence of wheeled vehicles. Indus Valley civilization uses Stamp Seals with a type of script.
3400 BCE (5,400 years ago) - First metal casting. France, Cow skull showing Trepanation found.
5,400 -5,100 y a - Itzi the Iceman dies in the mountains of Northern Italy. Had a copper axe. Earliest evidence of tattoos. Shoes made from two types of animal skin (bear and deer). Arsenic residue in his hair.
3300 BCE - Egypt, tomb paintings show people Dancing. Indus Valley, develop Sanitation.
3200 BCE - Examples of using symbols to represent real life objects (would go to form written language). Ireland, construction begins on Newgrange, largest passage tomb in Europe, aligned to winter solstice. Egypt, Bead made of Meteoric Iron found.
3100 - 2900 BCE - Jemdet Nasr period (following fall of Uruk) would be known as establishing Cuneiform as a proper language.
3100 BCE - Upper and Lower Egypt unified. Mesopotamia, likely evidence of the earliest Lute type device.
3000 BCE - Onset of Bronze. Mesopotamia, Irrigation; Glass Beads appear (possible side effect of making metal); possible earliest Iron working (required higher temperatures), cuneiform mention of Pigeons. Sumer, Medical text found on tablet, believed oldest ever found. Egypt, Hieroglyphs of Pigeons and use of Homing Pigeons for message delivery, first record of a Doctor named, Imhotep; Antimony harvested from rock and made into eye makeup; earliest evidence of domestic Donkeys in the south. Egyptian Mummies show evidence of Smallpox (deathrate 30% especially among babies, can leave people blind). Dromedary Camels likely domesticated in Somalia at this time. (Camel hair can be harvested for shelter and clothing, outer guard hairs make for water proof coats. Camel milk readily turns into yogurt. To turn into butter requires a clarifying agent and extended process.) Chicken reaches Europe from Asia. England, earliest Stone Circles found. Slovakia, Romania, earliest chainmail found. Sheep chosen for wooly coat, not long hair. China, Clay Bells found. India, River Buffalo domesticated (water buffalo); Jute grown for fiber (burlap). Northern Iran, earliest examples of Trumpets. SE Asia, earliest records of Radish. Pakistan, Terracota female figurines.
2800 BCE - Solid evidence of plowed fields. China, Copper smelting discovered. Babylon, evidence of manufacture of soap like substance.
2700 BCE - Chinese treatise on health. 40 kinds identified.
2650 BCE - Egypt, dental work found.
2630-10 BCE - Egypt, Pyramid of Djoser constructed by Imhotep, considered first.
2600 BCE – Egypt, domestication of Honey Bee complete.
2600 - 1900 BCE - Indus Valley, Stoneware Pottery (meaning fired at 1000 degrees Celsius), would become a major industry; (Ivory?).
2580-50 BCE – Egypt, creates first true Ocean Dock for sea trading vessels (with Indus Valley).
2560 BCE - Great Pyramid of Giza completed.
2500 BCE - Evidence of The Amber Road, trade route from the Baltic Sea to Mediterranean Sea. E Iran, Bactrian Camels domesticated. Iraq, "Lyres of Ur," considered world's oldest stringed instruments. Peru, oldest Sling ever found. Egypt, earliest depiction of a Khopesh (sword). Sumerian Clay Tablet with instructions for manufacturing soap (heating mixture of oil and wood ash, earliest record chemical reaction, used for washing woolen clothing). China, axes with Corundum (precious stone). Harappan Culture of Indus Valley, chicken used for Cock Fighting, not food.
2500 - 2000 BCE - Mali, domestication of Pearl Millet. Turkey, Meteoric Iron dagger.
2400 BCE - Sumer, description of Prostitution and a Brothel-Temple to Fertility Goddess.
2300 BCE - Mesopotamia, Urukagina of Lagash, considered the earliest Law Code. (Widows and orphans exempt from taxes, state pays for funeral expenses, the rich must pay in silver and cannot force the poor against will, checked power of priests, protect from usury, abolished polyandry). Iran, Quince (fruit). China, oldest Gnomon (painted stick that casts a shadow for sundial purpose).
2200 BCE - China, first known tax, using salt. Iraq, tablet reads “22 jars of Pig Fat” (each jar 18 liters of Lard, 396 liters total, require 45 adult pigs; likely used to make soap to clean wool of sheep before turning them into textiles)
2200-2000 BCE - Turkey, Iron Smelting.
2100 - 2050 BCE - City of Ur: Earliest written Code of Law discovered. References Butter. (Fines for bodily harm, references murder, robbery, adultery, rape. Two classes of people: free and slave.)
4000 - 3000 y a - Mesopotamia, earliest Scissors (shear, spring type). India, Mung Bean domesticated.
2000 BCE - Murals show horses pulling chariots. Horses become common in western Europe. England, Great Orme Mine started, would become largest copper mine in region (most productive between 1700 - 1400 BCE), used bone and stone tools. China, Bells made out of metal (Bellfounding); domestication of the Swamp Buffalo (water buffalo). Ghana, earliest evidence of Cowpea (black eyed pea). India, Canola/Rapeseed; Diamonds being used to drill beads. Egypt, Lupin Beans. Greece, Kale grown.
1900 BCE – Homing Pigeons used for warfare.
1800 BCE - Egypt, medical text on gynecological issues; Safflower for pigment. India, Iron working.
1754 BCE - Code of Hammurabi (recognized Prostitution and gave women protection and inheritance; theorized that a fertility goddess had a temple that offered sex workers).
1700 - 1200 BCE - (Late Bronze Age) 8 societies in Middle East: Aegean, Egyptian, Hittite, Canaanite, Cypriot, Mitanni, Assyrian, Babylonian. Considered a "globalized world system." Next time this would occur is today.
1700 BCE – Mesopotamia: The "Mari Letters" reference Minoan society, King Hammurabi; clay tablets list Trigonometry Tables and Applied Geometry (for land ownership, speculated to aid in construction).
1628 BCE - Island of Thera/Santorini experiences huge volcanic eruption, possibly causing a tsunami thru eastern Mediterranean.
1600-1500 BCE - Greece, Helmet formed of boar tusks found.
1600 BCE – Levant, Mesopotamia, Pork bones rarely found in settlements (banned from temples in Anatolia, Mesopotamia, Egypt). (Found amongst the poor classes, difficult to tax since it did not produce wool or milk or could plow a field.)
1550 BCE – Papyrus Ebers, Egyptian medical text, mentions Chlamydia.
1500 BCE - Modern Trumpet design found in eastern Mediterranean. India, Pigeon Pea domesticated. Egypt, Mercury found in tombs; archaeologists find earliest Sundials; Emerald mines. China, Water Clocks.
1400 BCE - Syria, Hurrian Songs, cuneiform music tablet in Ugarit. Greece, oldest body armor found, made of bronze, Dendra Panoply (not actually worn, more of a showpiece, but clear representation of body armor for battle). China, Meteoric Iron axeheads. Art representation of Scale Mail in Egypt. Art: representation of Shields.
1350 BCE - Turkey, Hittites chronicle Egyptian prisoners of war bringing "the plague.”
1300 BCE - Uluburun Shipwreck, off coast of Turkey, had 300 sixty pound copper ingots (10 tons), 1 ton of tin, and tin objects and ingots of colored glass (blue, rose, brown). From Cypress/Minoa.
1300? - 900? BCE - Eastern Mediterranean experiences a 300? year drought. (Could also be: Cypress 1200- 850. Syria 1250-1187. Galilee 1250-1100)
1279 BCE - Battle of Qadesh (Egypt vs Hittites).
1200 BCE (3,200 years ago) - Onset of Iron smelting. Earliest Camel saddles appear. Last appearance of Megaliths. India, earliest evidence of Firewalking.
1200 BCE - Eastern Mediterranean civilization collapse. Drought in Greece. Earthquake series.
1188-1177 BCE - Egypt suffers invasions from "The Sea People."
1185 BCE - Syria, Ugarit Letter, Famine.
1140? BCE - Ramses 6th, mummy found to have Smallpox. No record of people dying from Smallpox.
1100 BCE - Phoenicians establish nation. Europe, Iron Age.
1100? BCE - Earth experiences a cold temperature period?
1100-750 BCE - Egypt, Iron Smelting.
1070 BCE - Egyptian mummy found with Silk in hair, earliest evidence of Silk Road.
1000 BCE - Early Cuneiform script (late stages, still pictograph in nature). Bactria, Barbat (primitive lute). Egypt, Kenaf is grown for fibers, leaves can be eaten by animals and humans (similar to Jute and Hemp; rope, rough fabric, sails). Mediterranean, Cabbage domesticated. China, Iron Age. Sport: racing Homing Pigeons.
930 BCE - Camel bones found in Arabian peninsula. Jordan, earliest Bloomery for Iron working found.
800 - 600 BCE - Ethiopia, Sorghum Wheat begins to be harvested.
800 BCE - Considered the beginning of Ancient Greece, after the Mycenae Civilization. China, Bloomeries used.
700-500 BCE - The Illiad orally composed. India, Diamond mining starts.
708 BCE – Greece, Olympics, Discus Throw.
700 BCE - Turkey, first Coins in Lydia. Assyria, first equipment recognized as a Saddle for a Horse.
660 BCE – Massive Solar Storm hits Earth.
600 BCE - Earliest example of a Steel Sword.
600-400 BCE - Ancient Greece rise of scientific inquiry and philosophy
550 BCE - The Illiad written down.
540 BCE – Sri Lanka, earliest record of Pearls.
500 BCE - Camels used in warfare. Persians use kettle drums for military maneuvers, frighten enemies. Greece, Grape Syrup, early form of sweetener and preservative; earliest written mention of what could be Influenza. Blackberries consumed around Europe. Spain, Disk Quern developed. India, Cholera described in Sanskrit. Romans manufacture dipped Candles.
430 BCE – Athens, Typhoid Fever outbreak during siege by Sparta.
400 BCE - The "Celts/Gaeil" settle Ireland. Greece, the “Hippocratic Corpus” seventy collected medical texts, mentions Pneumonia, Meningitis, Valerian Root.
396 BCE - Olympics, horn blowing competitions.
314 BCE - China, first mention of Sweet Orange.
298 BCE - Foot powered Loom.
200 BCE - China starts making paper.

There are so many delicious foods to eat on Thanksgiving, and it can be hard to narrow it down to just one or two favorites!
If you’re a Thanksgiving newbie, check out this list of Thanksgiving foods that start with L and introduce your taste buds to all of the scrumptiousness that awaits you!
Whether you plan on eating them in a traditional Thanksgiving dinner or as part of your own personal feast, try these tasty treats on your holiday table!
If you’re wondering what to serve at your Thanksgiving feast this year, consider the following list of Thanksgiving foods that start with L.
Listed below, these healthy dishes are delicious and nutritious ways to give thanks this holiday season.

1. Lobster

The holiday season means that it is time to celebrate, relax, and enjoy the company of family and friends. What better way to celebrate than with a scrumptious feast?
If you are searching for a mouth-watering dish to serve for your feast this year, look no further than lobster!
Lobster is a traditional dish served on holidays such as Thanksgiving and Christmas. However, its popularity has also made it an appetizer that can be served any day of the year.
Lobsters are available fresh or canned at most grocery stores or seafood markets. There are so many different ways to prepare lobster that it is hard not to find one that would suit your needs perfectly!

2. Linguine

Linguine is a type of pasta that is shaped like long, flat noodles. It can be served with various sauces or toppings, and it's a popular dish for the holiday season.
Served with butter, garlic, and olive oil, this dish is similar to clam sauce but has a more subtle flavor. Linguine can be served on its own as an appetizer or as part of a larger meal.
Cook linguine according to package directions. Drain and set aside in a serving bowl, reserving a cup of the cooking water in a small bowl.
Melt butter in a large frying pan over medium-high heat until foaming subsides; add garlic and cook, occasionally stirring, until fragrant but not browned (about 30 seconds), about 2 minutes.

3. Lima beans

Some people may not know that lima beans are traditional Thanksgiving foods that start with L. It's true! Lima beans (aka butter beans) are easy to make and taste delicious, especially when paired with ham. They're also high in protein, making a great side dish for vegetarians.

4. Lionfish

Thanksgiving is just around the corner, and if you're looking for some new, exciting Thanksgiving foods that start with L to put on the table.
There are lots of options. One example would be lionfish. This delicious fish can be prepared in various ways and makes for a tasty alternative to turkey or ham.
It's easy to find at most grocery stores, so all you need to do is pick up your ingredients, get cooking and enjoy!

5. Lychees

Let's talk about lychees. This delicious fruit is often a staple in Asian dishes, but it has also become more popular in Western cooking.
It looks like a little yellow grape with a tough outer shell that needs to be peeled away before you can eat the flesh inside. A great way to start your day!

6. Lamb

A rich and savory dish that pairs well with all of your favorite fall vegetables. Lamb is one of the most popular thanksgiving foods that start with L, but it's common to serve lamb.
Lamb is healthier than ham because it contains less fat and cholesterol than other meats. Plus, it also tastes delicious with cranberries and mashed potatoes!

7. Lasagna

This dish is perfect for feeding a crowd and can be made in advance to save you time on the day of the feast for Thanksgiving foods that start with L.

8. Latkes

Crispy and delicious, these potato pancakes are a delightful side dish to any meal. The latke is a dish that is traditionally served during Hanukkah but can be served at any time of year.
Latkes are typically made from grated potatoes mixed with eggs, salt and onions. The mixture is then pan-fried in oil. A typical garnish for a latke might include sour cream or applesauce.

9. Lemonade

It's not a holiday without the traditional pumpkin pie, but some other Thanksgiving foods start with L to consider.
Which is Lemonade, Refreshing and comforting. However, Lemonade is a staple for many people during the warmer months.
Nevertheless, it's also an excellent drink to enjoy on cold winter days. Whether you enjoy lemonade with a little bit of vodka in it or prefer iced tea with a generous helping of freshly squeezed juice, this beverage can be enjoyed all year long.
Besides being delicious, lemonade offers some health benefits, such as aiding digestion and providing Vitamin C.
This tangy beverage should be at the top of your list when you're looking for something new to try this Thanksgiving holiday!

10. Loin

The loin is a meat cut that comes from a pig's back and lower part. It's usually roasted, grilled, or smoked. In French, it's called filet, which means a thin strip.
The loin lies between the backbone and ribs, as well as in front of the sirloin and behind the tenderloin. Another term for a loin is pork chop.
Pork chops are often eaten fried or grilled with bacon. They can be served with applesauce or caramelized applesauce.
When buying pork chops, it's important to look at them closely to ensure they're not too dried out or stringy.

11. Lynchburg Lemonade

• Ingredients include
• Sweet Tea
• Triple Sec
• Fresh Lemon Juice (tablespoons) Instructions: Mix all ingredients together until well combined. Serve cold over ice cubes and garnish with a lemon slice!

12. Leek

A leek is a type of onion with a milder flavor than other onions. Leeks are used in soups and stews and as an ingredient in making curry sauce, and they will surely serve you perfectly for your Thanksgiving foods that start with L. They also work well with potatoes, spinach, and cream.
Slice off the root end of the leek, cutting up to one inch away from where it starts to flare out into green leaves.
Rinse thoroughly under cold water or soak in boiling water for a few minutes until it is softened but not colored. Trim off any tough parts from the green leaves near the white part, then slice them thinly crosswise.

13. Lahana Sarmasi

Start by chopping onion and green pepper into small pieces. Please place them in a medium-sized pot with vegetable oil, then add tomato paste and salt to taste.
Add water to cover the vegetables, bring the pot to a boil, then reduce the heat and simmer for 20 minutes.
After cooking time is up, remove the pot from the stovetop and stir in sugar (to taste) before leaving it to cool for 30 minutes.
When cooled down, mix in raisins, almonds, and pine nuts before adding rice; ensure the rice is well mixed before returning it to the pot.

14. Lovage

Lovage is an herb that tastes like celery, with a flavor similar to parsley but more intense and more like celery. It's often used in French cooking.
The leaves can be eaten raw in salads or cooked as a side dish (often boiled, braised, or sautéed). The seeds can be roasted, ground into a powder, and mixed with water to make a refreshing drink of Thanksgiving foods that start with L.

15. Liqueur

The liqueur is often used to signify a special drink enjoyed on holidays and other occasions that you want to fill your tables with Thanksgiving foods that start with L.
However, Liqueurs are typically sweet and are often made from fruits, nuts, herbs, or spices. One of the most popular liqueurs is Amaretto, made from apricot kernels.

16. Latte

I love a good latte! I like to start my day with one in the morning or have one with an afternoon snack and then end it with a cup of hot cocoa after dinner. Lattes can be enjoyed any time of day.
I love that lattes are easy to make at home. All you need is some whole milk, a teaspoon of espresso, a tablespoon of hot water, and some sweetener if you want it.
Nevertheless, You can make them as strong or as weak as you want by adjusting how much water you add too.
I also like that latte's come in different flavors and combinations, so there is always something new to try when you want your occasion to be special with Thanksgiving foods that start with L.

17. Lakoocha

Lakoocha is a traditional Russian dessert made of dough, oil, and honey;

18. Limeade

The tangy limeade is a refreshing drink for hot summer days. All you need to do is squeeze some fresh lime juice into a glass of water and add sugar if desired.
Also, a few ice cubes will help keep it cold while you sip on this delicious drink. If you want to make iced limeade, place all ingredients in a pitcher and stir until the sugar has dissolved. Pour over ice and enjoy!

19. Lavash

Lavash is thin, unleavened loaves of bread that are usually baked in a large clay oven called a tandoor. They can be used as Thanksgiving foods that start with L for serving guests.
The word lavash is derived from an Armenian word that means bread. Like many other cultures, Armenians wrap their traditional dishes in lavash before serving them to guests.
Their cuisine often includes dishes like kebabs or kabobs wrapped up in lavash before being eaten.

20. Lumpia

The Filipino dish, Lumpia, is one of the Thanksgiving foods that start with L, an egg roll with a savory filling wrapped in a thin wrapper and deep fried to create a crispy exterior.
Lumpia is usually served as an appetizer or as part of the main meal. The word lumpia means spring roll in Tagalog, reflecting that this dish has been around since ancient times in Southeast Asia.
L lumpia is typically made with ground pork, carrots, onion, garlic, and chili peppers in Filipino cuisine.
The mixture is then rolled up into flour wrappers that have been cut into strips before being dipped into hot oil to fry them until golden brown. This cooking method makes for a crispy outside with a moist inside and flavorful filling.

21. Lollipop

The lollipop is one of the most iconic sweet treats in America. In fact, more than 100 billion lollipops are made each year in the United States.
However, did you know that this confection has been around since at least as early as 1796? Believe it or not, Thomas Adams is credited with being the first person to put a stick into a ball of candy!
In addition to being a popular treat for people of all ages and backgrounds, lollipops also make great props for wedding photos and party favors for birthday celebrations. Plus, they're perfect for stocking stuffers too!

22. Lingcod

The lingcod is a type of fish that lives in cold water. It has a light, delicate, and meaty texture. There are many different ways to prepare this as one of the Thanksgiving foods that start with L, and it can be used in soups or stews as well as baked on its own.
The skin should be removed before cooking because it can become tough after cooking. The lingcod can also be grilled or pan-fried with butter and herbs, which will help keep the meat from drying out.
The best way to cook this fish is by baking it at 350 degrees Fahrenheit for about 15 minutes per inch of thickness (when measured at the thickest part). This ensures that the flesh is moist and tender without being dry or overcooked.

23. Littleneck

A littleneck is a type of clam found in the Atlantic Ocean and used as one of the common and popular thanksgiving foods that start with L. The name comes from its small size, which is about half that of a cherrystone clam.
This small bivalve mollusk has a hard and shiny exterior shell. Littleneck is often eaten steamed or raw as sushi, but they can also be used to make clam chowder or pasta dishes.

24. Limburger

This cheese is perfect for those who love a strong flavor. It's tangy, salty, and slightly pungent. This cheese has been aged for at least six months to help develop its complex flavor profile.

25. Lard

Lard is an animal fat that can be rendered to make cooking oil and soap. Lard has a higher melting point than butter, so it’s also often used in frying food.
Lard is also often used in desserts, such as pies and biscuits because it makes them flaky and crispy. If you’re vegetarian or vegan, lard can be replaced with vegetable shortening.
But it’s important to read the labels of any replacement product before using it because some contain hydrogenated oils, which are high in saturated fats and low in trans-fats.
For healthier alternatives to lard, try coconut oil or margarine made from plant-based fats such as soybean or sunflower oil instead!

26. Loaf

Many different types of Thanksgiving foods start with L, including quick-bread loaves, yeast-bread loaves, and sweet-bread loaves.
It's possible to find traditional versions or versions with nuts or raisins for some added texture or sweetness.
Bread can also be shaped into a round shape instead of a loaf. This is called a bâtard or boule. The word loaf comes from the Old English word hlāf, meaning bread.

27. Liverwurst

This German specialty is made with a mixture of pork and beef liver, bacon, and spices. It's typically served as part of a charcuterie platter or on rye bread.
Liverwurst is best when it's cooked to an internal temperature of 170 degrees Fahrenheit. This will give it that nice brown color and a slightly crispy crust.
The taste of liverwurst depends largely on how much bacon is included in the recipe, which determines its saltiness.
A good rule of thumb is that if you want to make something sweet for your Thanksgiving foods that start with L, liverwurst is a go, and you must use less bacon than you would for something savory (or add sweetener ingredients).

28. Land Cress

A delicate green herb with a peppery flavor, land cress is not to be confused with watercress which belongs to another genus entirely.
The plants of land cress are delicate, so it is best when eaten raw in salads or sandwiches.
Another way to enjoy it is by mixing it into fish sauces and using it as a garnish on soups. It does not keep very long, so you should use this herb immediately.

29. Loquat

The loquat, or Japanese plum, is a small fruit with a sweet and sour flavor. It is usually available in late winter and early spring. The loquat has green, leathery skin and yellow flesh.
You can eat them raw or cooked; they are often used to make jellies, jams, chutneys, and pies. Loquats contain high amounts of vitamin C and antioxidants.

30. Lemongrass

I can't think of anything better to eat on a cold, wintery day than a big bowl of thanksgiving foods that start with L.
The zesty, citrus flavor is perfect for warming up your insides while also providing a nice little vitamin boost. It's such an easy recipe too!
However, you need some chicken broth, fresh lemongrass, peeled ginger root, lots of fresh cilantro, and some salt (and pepper if you want) to taste.
Just add everything to a pot and let it simmer on low heat until all the flavors are well combined. I like to make this with lots of toppings like fried shallots, chopped peanuts, or even basil leaves that I can stir before serving.

31. Limoncello

The word limoncello literally means lemon honey in Italian. This sweet, citrus-flavored liqueur is perfect for any occasion, but especially on Christmas and New Year's Eve!
Limoncello is made by infusing lemon peels in alcohol, adding sugar to sweeten it, and then letting it rest for months.
It's usually served chilled or over ice with a splash of water or club soda. To make limoncello even more festive, add some fresh cranberries to make a cranberry limoncello!

32. Lettuce

Do you need a quick way to make your Thanksgiving dinner better? Try adding some Thanksgiving foods that start with L to it!
Lettuce has many health benefits, so it's a good idea to include this leafy green as part of your traditional menu. Here are some of the best Thanksgiving foods that start with L.
When it comes to lettuce, there are many different varieties to choose from. Green and red leaf lettuce both have a slightly bitter taste with a more bitter flavor when they're older.
Romaine is crunchier and has a more peppery taste which goes well with heavy salad dressings. An iceberg is milder than other lettuce and is a great choice for those who don't like the stronger flavors of other types of lettuce.

33. Lobscouse

This traditional Newfoundland dish is made with salt beef, potatoes and onions. Cooked in a pot or kettle, it's simmered together until tender and then thickened with flour.
The word lobscouse comes from the French lobster as this dish will be perfect for selecting from Thanksgiving foods that start with L.
It was originally made with lobster meat before salt beef became popular due to its affordability.
Lobscouse also has many variations depending on where you are in Newfoundland: it may be cooked in a large pot or kettle over an open fire and boiled for at least 4-6 hours; it might be served without vegetables (because they were scarce); and it might include carrots, turnip or parsnips.

34. Loganberry

The Loganberry is a cross between a blackberry and a raspberry. It was developed in 1907 by John Watson, who was a plant breeder from New Jersey.
The Loganberry typically has three to four times more sugar than other berries, with an intense taste that ranges from tart to tangy.
In addition to being delicious, the Loganberry is easy to grow and can be easily stored for long periods of time because of its high sugar content.

35. Lekvar

The word Lekvar is a common name for a fruit preserve made from whole quinces peeled and cooked with sugar.
The finished product has a consistency similar to that of jelly and can be used as a dessert topping or spread on cakes.
It also makes an excellent sauce when mixed with chicken, game meat, or pork. The name Lekvar comes from the Hungarian word lekvár, meaning fruit preserve.

36. Lox

You can't go wrong with lox when it comes to Thanksgiving foods that start with L. This cured salmon is delicious and packed with nutrients that will keep you energized all morning long.
Plus, it's super easy to make! How To Make Lox. Rinse a 1-pound salmon filet under cold water and pat dry with a paper towel on both sides.
Season both sides of the salmon with salt and pepper and place in a large bowl or dish. Combine one cup of sugar, one cup of kosher salt, three tablespoons dried dill weed, two tablespoons crushed black peppercorns, and four whole bay leaves in a small bowl and mix well to combine.

37. Lutefisk

This traditional Scandinavian dish is a gelatinous mass made from dried cod soaked in lye. It has a long history and was popular as a meat substitute during fasting.
Lutefisk is served traditionally with boiled potatoes, melted butter, and ground black pepper.
The taste and texture can be acquired for some people, but there's no denying that it's as appropriate to serve on Thanksgiving as Thanksgiving foods that start with L!
This traditional Scandinavian dish is a gelatinous mass made from dried cod soaked in lye. It has a long history and was popular as a meat substitute during fasting.
Lutefisk is served traditionally with boiled potatoes, melted butter, and ground black pepper.

38. Linguica

This dish is an American-Portuguese sausage made from pork, garlic, and red wine. The Linguica is a popular choice for those who like spicy foods because it has a hot kick to it. It’s commonly served with rice and beans or on its own as a breakfast meat.
Plus, this food is also great for outdoor barbecues because of its long shelf life and low price point. Try Linguica in your next meal today!

39. London Broil

Are you in charge of planning Thanksgiving foods that start with L? If so, congratulations! It's a big responsibility.
You may not know it but in addition to choosing food that everyone likes and making sure there are enough plates, silverware, and napkins on hand, you also need to consider the order of service.
For example: should the London broil be sliced ahead of time, or will people want to carve it themselves?
Will guests serve themselves from an entrée table, or will they be seated at their places with all their dishes set out for them?
And what about drinks? Which beverages will people prefer while they're waiting for dinner—water or wine? As you can see, there are a lot of decisions to make. But don't worry. London broil will always serve your guest right.

40. Liquor

This is obvious and will be needed for some of your guests. There are many different kinds of alcohol to choose from. If you know who will be coming, pick a type of alcohol that suits their tastes, whether that's wine, champagne, or something else entirely.
The liquor store is also where you can find all sorts of mixing ingredients, such as mixers like sodas or juices to go with it.!

41. Lahmacun

It's typically served with yogurt on the side for dipping or as a sauce for dipping. The dough is also sometimes sprinkled with sesame seeds before baking it.
The origins of Lahmacun are not entirely clear, but some believe it originated in Central Asia. While others say, it was popularized by Ottoman soldiers who brought this dish back to Turkey from their travels to Eastern Europe centuries ago.
No matter what its origins may be, one thing remains true - lahmacun is delicious among Thanksgiving foods that start with L!

42. Limpa

It's officially falling. This means that it's time to break out the pumpkin spice, but also time to enjoy the last of summer produce.
One of my favorite things about autumn is that we can finally start making some of our favorite Scandinavian dishes, like Limpa bread.
Limpa is a white bread containing wheat flour, rye flour, and malt syrup. It has a light texture and a lot of flavor from the combination of grains in it.
It was first created in Sweden for Easter Sunday because it's a special type of bread that uses all three main ingredients in communion wafers: wheat flour, water, and wine; rye flour; and malt syrup or molasses.

43. Lalanga

The lalanga, also known as pomegranate, is a tasty fruit with a sweet and tangy taste. It's also one of the first fruits to ripen in late summer.
The name for this fruit comes from the Persian word for apple, and it was brought to India by traders, where locals called it lalang.
There are many different varieties of Thanksgiving foods that start with L, and lalanga is one of them, and lalanga are of different types too, but they all look similar with thin-skinned red or dark-purple fruit.
Lalangas are often eaten fresh or dried, but they can be made into jams and other desserts. Lalangas are high in vitamin C, making them an excellent food for the cold season.

44. Liederkranz

I love Liederkranz. It's a mixture of cheeses, apples, and nuts that is baked in a ring-shaped dish. It's traditionally served at Christmas but tastes great any time of year.
My mom makes it for me every holiday because she knows I love it so much. Nothing is better than biting into one of those thick slices with whipped cream on top.

45. Lupin Beans

This ancient legume, lupin beans, is relatively unknown in the United States. They are gaining popularity with chefs and heirloom food enthusiasts alike due to their meaty texture, earthy flavor, and ease of use.
Lupins can be used in many dishes, including soups, salads, or even rice replacement. Rinse and soak overnight in water to which you have added 2 Tbsp of salt.
Drain and rinse again before cooking for about 30 minutes until tender but not mushy. Flavor with butter, soy sauce, or garlic if desired (optional).

46. Lavender

The first letter of lavender is L for Lavender. Lavender is a perennial plant and can be found in many colors, including purple, white, blue, and pink. The leaves are used for cooking, but the flowers are also edible.
This herb has a gentle flavor that goes well with other herbs like thyme or rosemary. Adding it at the end of the cooking process is best because heat will cook away some of its flavors.
When making mint tea or iced tea, you can use lavender buds as a substitute for peppermint leaves.

47. Lady Apple

Mix one cup of apple cider with three tablespoons of brown sugar in a bowl. Peel and chop two apples.
Add the apples to the mixture and stir. Place in a pot over medium heat and bring to a boil, occasionally stirring until it starts to thicken.
Reduce heat to low, cover pot, and let simmer for 15 minutes or until it becomes syrupy. Serve warm or cold with vanilla ice cream as a topping if desired.

48. Lentils

Lentils are an inexpensive and healthy source of protein, iron, zinc, and B vitamins. Lentils are also a good source of fiber which can help lower cholesterol levels.
They are perfect Thanksgiving foods that start with L for people with diabetes because they have a low glycemic index and do not cause rapid spikes in blood sugar.
Lentils come in both green and brown varieties and can be served on their own as a side dish or mixed with other ingredients to make soup, casseroles, or chili.

49. Lemons

The quintessential lemon is a yellow citrus fruit that looks like a large, roundish lime. Lemons are high in vitamin C and low in calories; they contain both citric and ascorbic acid.
The juice of lemons can be used as a flavoring or as an ingredient in many Thanksgiving foods that start with L, including desserts like lemon meringue pie.

50. Limes

Lime is a citrus fruit that is round in shape and lime green in color, though they come in various shades of green, from yellow-green to dark green, depending on the ripeness of the fruit.
They are typically sour and juicy, with some varieties being sweeter than others. Limes are a great way to add some tangy flavor to your dishes.
Whether you want to use them for margaritas or want to squeeze a little juice on top of your dish, limes will give you that tangy flavor.
Juicing limes can be messy, which is more challenging than juicing oranges because they are much smaller.
Be careful when juicing limes because you can easily get seeds in your drink, and nobody wants that. If you don't care about the seeds, squeezing limes might be easier for you than any other citrus fruit.

51. Liver

This nutrient-packed and low-calorie food should be noticed. It is rich in Vitamin A, Iron, and Selenium. The liver is also a good source of Zinc, Riboflavin, Niacin, Vitamin B6, Copper, and Potassium.
The consumption of liver can help build muscle mass due to its high protein content, which is perfect for Thanksgiving foods that start with L.

52. Lemon Basil

This recipe is a twist on traditional basil pesto. I wanted to use lemon because it's such an awesome flavor and in this recipe has that tart citrusy taste, which is perfect for fall.
It includes cilantro, garlic, olive oil, chili flakes, and basil. It's so simple to make and will be a great addition to your thanksgiving menu!

• Cup fresh cilantro leaves (leaves only) Cup fresh basil leaves (leaves only)
• Cup olive oil
• Cloves garlic
• Juice from one lemon
  
• A pinch of salt
  
• A few dashes of chili flakes
  

53. Lemon meringue pie

There is nothing more comforting or delicious to warm up with on Thanksgiving day than thanksgiving foods that start with L. Lemon meringue pie.
It has an airy, melt-in-your-mouth crust, creamy lemon filling, and a fluffy meringue topping that's baked to perfection.
You can make this dessert in advance and refrigerate it until you're ready to serve it. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit.
Line the pie crust with parchment paper or foil and fill it with pie weights or dry beans so that it doesn't puff up while baking.
Bake the crust for 8 minutes, then remove from the oven and remove parchment paper or foil along with weights and beans before adding the filling.

54. Lamb’s Lettuce

This type of lettuce is a cross between romaine and butterhead lettuce and has an overall soft appearance. The leaves are green or dark red in color and grow to be about five inches wide.
It features a mild flavor that blends well with most salad dressings, making it a favorite among chefs.
The leaves are crisp and can hold up to heavy dressings without wilting or becoming soggy like some other lettuces do when mixed with creamy sauces.
Conclusion
I hope this post has helped you with your search for new thanksgiving foods that start with L. It's important to keep in mind that only some dishes work for some families.
So be sure to make a list and try it out before you commit to anything. And, of course, if you have any occasion, please feel free to use thanksgiving foods that start with L. Happy Thanksgiving!

Ted did not leave my head. He said he "didn't want to risk getting lost," also he could see this way, using my eyes. He was used to being in a body with multiple minds, only, he was the dominant one before. He might still be come to think of it, the Irritating worm.
My walk home was more of a stumble and scrape now. My sides hurt and I'm sure I lost some weight. I needed a walking stick—or a wheelchair, hell, get me a gurney.
Ted kept me talking. I think it was just to make sure I didn't double over and die.
He asked, "So, that thing took you for a ride huh? Made you dream of things? What happened before I came and rescued you?"
That Ted, always reminding me that I almost died without him. I would have to use this opportunity to punish him.
"Oh, it was the best. I was dreaming of my ex-girlfriend. Let me describe her—"
"Actually, I take that back. I know where this is going," Ted interrupted. "I believe you. Go back to groaning or—whatever."
"Let's see, I can only describe her as the extra-most-bestest hot-and-ready pornstar-Barbie I've always wanted," I said dreamily.
"La-la-la I'm not listening," he sang.
"But, and it's a big but, to keep in the pizza theme; to her, Little Caesars' Crazy Bread is just plain ol' bread. She was crazy, which was great sometimes. I would tap that like Morse code."
"Please, I beg of you. I take back all of the bullying I've ever inflicted upon you. Just stop."
"But I'm just getting to the good part. You aren't bashful, are you?" I took a note. Ted, from planet Tedidian-Beta, had a cultural modesty like Earth. I could use that.
"No, I am not bashful. I merely wish not to hear of your conquests," he shot back.
"Well good, then I'll continue. You know that awkward interlude between when you go, and you can go again?"
"I wish to be acquainted with this God fellow you mentioned before. Kill me now so I can meet him."
"Not in a fever dream. Yeah baby. It's all day and all night in there," I tapped my head.
Bullying Ted aside, I really wasn't having that much fun. If you remember, I'm still being held together by glue, but as it turns out, nothing in this place is insignificant. Every small detail would be important to my survival, or lack thereof.
In this case, it would be in the form of those little creatures with way too much skin. When I last saw them, they were in the carved-out tunnel licking clean the protein bar wrapper. Now, I noticed a cautious following of these things. They hid from me when I shined a light towards them, but not completely, always peering around a rock or corner. They were getting braver, perhaps smelling my blood in the air.
Now that I can see them a little better, I think of a quote from one Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, German poet.
"Give me an ounce of gold, and I'll plate the whole world."
"Give me just one of these skin aliens, and I'll upholster the whole crypt, throw pillows included," a quote from one Sean Miller, American astronaut, just now.
I aimed Ted's gun, and they all scattered. "Smart enough to know what this thing is," I thought. "Not smart enough not to follow unfortunately."
They kept coming when I turned back, keeping a respectful distance. Whenever I stopped for a break, they stopped. Whenever I sped up, they sped up. Whenever I needed to eat, they too stopped and ate, finding burrowing creatures the way I had when I was opened like a fish. They even stopped to "relieve themselves" when I found nature's call too strong to ignore.
I really shouldn't ignore them. The moment I ignore them, they will assuredly pounce like bloodthirsty rats. Though, it has been a few days. I know, "days" with quotes, but if I don't use some unit of time I am familiar with, I might go insane—or insaner. My circadian rhythm clung to any cycle it could find, like an overly attached girlfriend. It found no rhythm in; when I could eat, lighting level cycles, nor in exertion. As a result, sleep came irregularly, but I still feel the need to call the moments in between sleep "days."
It was days of following and not approaching. Days of me stumbling about when I should be horizontal in a hospital bed. Days of little to no food, and only juicy hydrating glow fungus to keep my lips wet.
They followed like a pack of ugly flat wolves, waiting for the first sign of weakness. I can't think like that. I can't imagine myself being torn apart, prey to another lesser carnivore. Not now, not after having defeated so many greater carnivores. Thoughts like that are bad—bad for me, bad for America.
I miss home. More now that I am semi-coherent. I miss sashaying my way through training of all things. I remember everything leading up to the launch like it was today. It was after the death of the greatest space craze in human history. After 14 more shallow graves were dug on Mars, where no flesh could decompose properly, leaving a final lonely body without a hole of his own to lay in.
That was very sad news to everyone of all nations. We were, for the first time in human history, united in common grief. There were efforts, but no amount of money in the world could save them. They signed up for that, as I had this. No one ever wanted to speak of space again after this, then "it" was found. A thing that punched far and above its weight class in gravitational pull. It just appeared amongst the asteroid field between Mars and Jupiter, affecting neither, and affected by neither. No one knew what it was, or how it got there. It just was.
It was barely big enough to be considered a dwarf planet, but for some reason or another, the lab coats at NASA refused to classify it as such. Pluto had suffered a similar fate, downgraded from planetary status to dwarf planet. How good it must feel to be able to revoke "dwarf planetary membership" from this thing, like what was done to her. Or maybe Pluto would have preferred to have a friend. Schadenfreude vs. loneliness, that was Pluto's dilemma.
Of course, Pluto was just a rock, uninterested in such opinions. This thing, however, was more than that. Sure, it was "rock" but why so heavy? Why just appear out of nowhere? And why do we see movement in the holes peppering its surface?
I am, like the Martian astronauts before me, like the alien explorers long dead, like Ted who was also dead, doomed to a graveless death, no marker left behind but my body.
Then why am I still walking? Why not find a nice little planet with low gravity for my back pain, and maybe some nice aliens that eat what I eat? I could learn their language, and find a nice little blue lady to settle down with. But for some reason, I don't. Even if I have to walk, I will on bloody stumps, make it home. There's that human stubbornness I mentioned earlier, or perhaps delirium.
"My word, you are mawkish," Ted said. "And yes, I know what you were thinking. You were monologuing to yourself, in your own head. Do you like the sound of your own voice? You know, you can think in any voice you want. I've heard you do it."
"Entertaining parasites never was my forte, but I'll work on it."
"Well, while you were listening to the sound of your own inner voice—boring by the way, find a new hobby—I found a pattern in the walls."
"Huh?"
"We are approaching another portal," he spelled out. "Look."
He took control of my right arm and pointed with it. Hidden within images of unknown creatures, chicken scratch I can only assume is language, and other nonsensical markings, was an image of a six-armed alien reaching out to touch the hand of a hunchbacked creature.
I stared at it for a moment, then asked. "How close are we?"
"Very," he said.
I then remembered the planet that nearly crushed me.
"How big is the planet? Can I breathe there?" I asked.
"I don't know, but you are an explorer. Go explore."
"And you're my translator. Translate."
Secretly, I think Ted was more interested in exploring than I was at the moment. I was just internally monologuing about home, but I have to admit, seeing alien worlds is what I signed up for.
I walked on, still followed by my hungry wolf pack, and came to the portal Ted predicted. It was solid like concrete. The residents of this world must have been tired of visitors, or chasing wandering children, and sealed shut this tomb. I placed a hand on the rocky surface.
"Shame. I was really hoping to see the other side," Ted said.
"Can you blame them? This portal appeared in their own backyard. They could have nations like mine. Which nation did it land on? Did that country survive when all others wanted to take this thing? Or even if they were united, this place is full of so much death and danger."
"True," was Ted's reply. "Still though. It's a shame to have to turn back."
We would turn back, but found ourselves cornered by the little rats. They formed a carpet of folds and freckles. When I pointed Ted's gun at them, all but one scattered. That one approached carefully, coming to just about mid-shin height, and laid at my feet, some worm with gills. That one left, and another came. Then another, and another, and another. By the time they were finished, there was a pile of quietly shrieking worms. Knowing my luck, those worms were probably also intelligent, but I won't turn down a free meal.
Had I just gotten here, I would have politely declined, thanked them, and offered them some of my food in return. Now that I have tasted what it takes to survive in a place like this, I knelt down in front of the pile, and ate like a starving animal. I stopped only when my wounds reminded me how inelastic my sutures were.
In stories, people feared alien diseases. Think, the aliens from "War of the Worlds." Honestly, I think that author just wrote himself into a corner. In reality, our diseases never would have evolved to infect alien hosts. The food sources they were after would not have existed in the alien landscape of a Martian's respiratory system unless they originated from Earth. It's the same reason my body struggles to digest any alien creature I come across. I'm here to tell you, If I find a dead human, I'm eating it, no second thoughts. My gut would thank me. You judge, but you haven't been brought to the point I have. The worms did help though. They took the edge off. Thank you, little wrinkly mice.
Apparently, I was to be their big scary bipedal glass-domed monster, emphasis on "their." We found ourselves in a crypt full of monsters and ghouls, and I was the friendliest of them all. Not to mention, this monster just whopped another bigger scarier one's ass, Though, at great cost and bodily harm.
Placing my hand back to the wall, the concrete felt warm. I forgot how cold I was. It turns out, it's cold out here with no sun. One of the few sources of warmth were these portals that happened to exist on a planet's surface.
The largest of the naked rats crawled on a five-limbed chassis towards me, stared up, then to the wall. I'm going to call him Jim-Bob from here on out. His uneven number of limbs each tapped the ground rhythmically, with no real discernible pattern other than the rhythm and semi-constant speed.
"I think he's talking," Ted spoke.
"Can you tell what he's saying?"
"Their speech travels through the ground and I can't feel what they feel because your feet aren't sensitive enough, so no. I can't translate, but I can tell you they are attempting to drill through the concrete."
Sure enough, I looked over, and that's exactly what they were doing. Powerful teeth and grasping claws were hard at work. These creatures had a profound understanding of leverage, and used it well. It wouldn't be long before they made it through, no matter how thick the concrete was.
"That's a bad idea," I suggested.
"Why?" Ted asked.
"They plugged this hole for a reason. What if they were constantly being invaded by aliens and monsters? What if they shoot me on sight? It's best we leave them alone."
Ted was profoundly disappointed, but admitted, "and they could have guards stationed just outside. Then how do you suggest we stop them?"
"Walk away?" I suggested.
I did. The hard workers stopped, looked to me, then scurried to the front of me, leading the way.
It worked. It seemed the rats were desperate to appease me. They were like used car salesmen offering me snacks and water to convince me to buy their most expensive model. Kinda slimy if you think of it, or cute if you squint.
As all things inevitably end up down here, we ran into yet another monster... "yippee," I say in my most nauseated voice.
A lazy xenobiologist would call this thing reptilian, just because it came with scales and feathers, and a forked tongue. Nothing you find off Earth could ever be reptilian, of course, because reptiles never left Earth. Or, as far as I'm aware. The verdict is still out on the dinosaurs.
I take that back. Maybe this is a dinosaur, after 65 million more years of evolution. In that case, I take back what I said about lazy xenobiologists. My inner child hopes against reason to see a dinosaur so much that I'll even tack that title onto something that couldn't possibly be one.
I drew Ted's gun and aimed it. It backed away. Okay then, Maybe we have an understanding.
Its head tilted towards the gun. There was a strong sense of recognition and fear in those eyes.
"Ted? Tell me you didn't shoot one of these when you were alive."
"I assuredly did not," he responded.
"Then why is it looking at your gun like this?"
Next chapter: https://www.reddit.com/HFY/s/875wnXbxrl

Ted did not leave my head. He said he "didn't want to risk getting lost," also he could see this way, using my eyes. He was used to being in a body with multiple minds, only, he was the dominant one before. He might still be come to think of it, the Irritating worm.
My walk home was more of a stumble and scrape now. My sides hurt and I'm sure I lost some weight. I needed a walking stick—or a wheelchair, hell, get me a gurney.
Ted kept me talking. I think it was just to make sure I didn't double over and die.
He asked, "So, that thing took you for a ride huh? Made you dream of things? What happened before I came and rescued you?"
That Ted, always reminding me that I almost died without him. I would have to use this opportunity to punish him.
"Oh, it was the best. I was dreaming of my ex-girlfriend. Let me describe her—"
"Actually, I take that back. I know where this is going," Ted interrupted. "I believe you. Go back to groaning or—whatever."
"Let's see, I can only describe her as the extra-most-bestest hot-and-ready pornstar-Barbie I've always wanted," I said dreamily.
"La-la-la I'm not listening," he sang.
"But, and it's a big but, to keep in the pizza theme; to her, Little Caesars' Crazy Bread is just plain ol' bread. She was crazy, which was great sometimes. I would tap that like Morse code."
"Please, I beg of you. I take back all of the bullying I've ever inflicted upon you. Just stop."
"But I'm just getting to the good part. You aren't bashful, are you?" I took a note. Ted, from planet Tedidian-Beta, had a cultural modesty like Earth. I could use that.
"No, I am not bashful. I merely wish not to hear of your conquests," he shot back.
"Well good, then I'll continue. You know that awkward interlude between when you go, and you can go again?"
"I wish to be acquainted with this God fellow you mentioned before. Kill me now so I can meet him."
"Not in a fever dream. Yeah baby. It's all day and all night in there," I tapped my head.
Bullying Ted aside, I really wasn't having that much fun. If you remember, I'm still being held together by glue, but as it turns out, nothing in this place is insignificant. Every small detail would be important to my survival, or lack thereof.
In this case, it would be in the form of those little creatures with way too much skin. When I last saw them, they were in the carved-out tunnel licking clean the protein bar wrapper. Now, I noticed a cautious following of these things. They hid from me when I shined a light towards them, but not completely, always peering around a rock or corner. They were getting braver, perhaps smelling my blood in the air.
Now that I can see them a little better, I think of a quote from one Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, German poet.
"Give me an ounce of gold, and I'll plate the whole world."
"Give me just one of these skin aliens, and I'll upholster the whole crypt, throw pillows included," a quote from one Sean Miller, American astronaut, just now.
I aimed Ted's gun, and they all scattered. "Smart enough to know what this thing is," I thought. "Not smart enough not to follow unfortunately."
They kept coming when I turned back, keeping a respectful distance. Whenever I stopped for a break, they stopped. Whenever I sped up, they sped up. Whenever I needed to eat, they too stopped and ate, finding burrowing creatures the way I had when I was opened like a fish. They even stopped to "relieve themselves" when I found nature's call too strong to ignore.
I really shouldn't ignore them. The moment I ignore them, they will assuredly pounce like bloodthirsty rats. Though, it has been a few days. I know, "days" with quotes, but if I don't use some unit of time I am familiar with, I might go insane—or insaner. My circadian rhythm clung to any cycle it could find, like an overly attached girlfriend. It found no rhythm in; when I could eat, lighting level cycles, nor in exertion. As a result, sleep came irregularly, but I still feel the need to call the moments in between sleep "days."
It was days of following and not approaching. Days of me stumbling about when I should be horizontal in a hospital bed. Days of little to no food, and only juicy hydrating glow fungus to keep my lips wet.
They followed like a pack of ugly flat wolves, waiting for the first sign of weakness. I can't think like that. I can't imagine myself being torn apart, prey to another lesser carnivore. Not now, not after having defeated so many greater carnivores. Thoughts like that are bad—bad for me, bad for America.
I miss home. More now that I am semi-coherent. I miss sashaying my way through training of all things. I remember everything leading up to the launch like it was today. It was after the death of the greatest space craze in human history. After 14 more shallow graves were dug on Mars, where no flesh could decompose properly, leaving a final lonely body without a hole of his own to lay in.
That was very sad news to everyone of all nations. We were, for the first time in human history, united in common grief. There were efforts, but no amount of money in the world could save them. They signed up for that, as I had this. No one ever wanted to speak of space again after this, then "it" was found. A thing that punched far and above its weight class in gravitational pull. It just appeared amongst the asteroid field between Mars and Jupiter, affecting neither, and affected by neither. No one knew what it was, or how it got there. It just was.
It was barely big enough to be considered a dwarf planet, but for some reason or another, the lab coats at NASA refused to classify it as such. Pluto had suffered a similar fate, downgraded from planetary status to dwarf planet. How good it must feel to be able to revoke "dwarf planetary membership" from this thing, like what was done to her. Or maybe Pluto would have preferred to have a friend. Schadenfreude vs. loneliness, that was Pluto's dilemma.
Of course, Pluto was just a rock, uninterested in such opinions. This thing, however, was more than that. Sure, it was "rock" but why so heavy? Why just appear out of nowhere? And why do we see movement in the holes peppering its surface?
I am, like the Martian astronauts before me, like the alien explorers long dead, like Ted who was also dead, doomed to a graveless death, no marker left behind but my body.
Then why am I still walking? Why not find a nice little planet with low gravity for my back pain, and maybe some nice aliens that eat what I eat? I could learn their language, and find a nice little blue lady to settle down with. But for some reason, I don't. Even if I have to walk, I will on bloody stumps, make it home. There's that human stubbornness I mentioned earlier, or perhaps delirium.
"My word, you are mawkish," Ted said. "And yes, I know what you were thinking. You were monologuing to yourself, in your own head. Do you like the sound of your own voice? You know, you can think in any voice you want. I've heard you do it."
"Entertaining parasites never was my forte, but I'll work on it."
"Well, while you were listening to the sound of your own inner voice—boring by the way, find a new hobby—I found a pattern in the walls."
"Huh?"
"We are approaching another portal," he spelled out. "Look."
He took control of my right arm and pointed with it. Hidden within images of unknown creatures, chicken scratch I can only assume is language, and other nonsensical markings, was an image of a six-armed alien reaching out to touch the hand of a hunchbacked creature.
I stared at it for a moment, then asked. "How close are we?"
"Very," he said.
I then remembered the planet that nearly crushed me.
"How big is the planet? Can I breathe there?" I asked.
"I don't know, but you are an explorer. Go explore."
"And you're my translator. Translate."
Secretly, I think Ted was more interested in exploring than I was at the moment. I was just internally monologuing about home, but I have to admit, seeing alien worlds is what I signed up for.
I walked on, still followed by my hungry wolf pack, and came to the portal Ted predicted. It was solid like concrete. The residents of this world must have been tired of visitors, or chasing wandering children, and sealed shut this tomb. I placed a hand on the rocky surface.
"Shame. I was really hoping to see the other side," Ted said.
"Can you blame them? This portal appeared in their own backyard. They could have nations like mine. Which nation did it land on? Did that country survive when all others wanted to take this thing? Or even if they were united, this place is full of so much death and danger."
"True," was Ted's reply. "Still though. It's a shame to have to turn back."
We would turn back, but found ourselves cornered by the little rats. They formed a carpet of folds and freckles. When I pointed Ted's gun at them, all but one scattered. That one approached carefully, coming to just about mid-shin height, and laid at my feet, some worm with gills. That one left, and another came. Then another, and another, and another. By the time they were finished, there was a pile of quietly shrieking worms. Knowing my luck, those worms were probably also intelligent, but I won't turn down a free meal.
Had I just gotten here, I would have politely declined, thanked them, and offered them some of my food in return. Now that I have tasted what it takes to survive in a place like this, I knelt down in front of the pile, and ate like a starving animal. I stopped only when my wounds reminded me how inelastic my sutures were.
In stories, people feared alien diseases. Think, the aliens from "War of the Worlds." Honestly, I think that author just wrote himself into a corner. In reality, our diseases never would have evolved to infect alien hosts. The food sources they were after would not have existed in the alien landscape of a Martian's respiratory system unless they originated from Earth. It's the same reason my body struggles to digest any alien creature I come across. I'm here to tell you, If I find a dead human, I'm eating it, no second thoughts. My gut would thank me. You judge, but you haven't been brought to the point I have. The worms did help though. They took the edge off. Thank you, little wrinkly mice.
Apparently, I was to be their big scary bipedal glass-domed monster, emphasis on "their." We found ourselves in a crypt full of monsters and ghouls, and I was the friendliest of them all. Not to mention, this monster just whopped another bigger scarier one's ass, Though, at great cost and bodily harm.
Placing my hand back to the wall, the concrete felt warm. I forgot how cold I was. It turns out, it's cold out here with no sun. One of the few sources of warmth were these portals that happened to exist on a planet's surface.
The largest of the naked rats crawled on a five-limbed chassis towards me, stared up, then to the wall. I'm going to call him Jim-Bob from here on out. His uneven number of limbs each tapped the ground rhythmically, with no real discernible pattern other than the rhythm and semi-constant speed.
"I think he's talking," Ted spoke.
"Can you tell what he's saying?"
"Their speech travels through the ground and I can't feel what they feel because your feet aren't sensitive enough, so no. I can't translate, but I can tell you they are attempting to drill through the concrete."
Sure enough, I looked over, and that's exactly what they were doing. Powerful teeth and grasping claws were hard at work. These creatures had a profound understanding of leverage, and used it well. It wouldn't be long before they made it through, no matter how thick the concrete was.
"That's a bad idea," I suggested.
"Why?" Ted asked.
"They plugged this hole for a reason. What if they were constantly being invaded by aliens and monsters? What if they shoot me on sight? It's best we leave them alone."
Ted was profoundly disappointed, but admitted, "and they could have guards stationed just outside. Then how do you suggest we stop them?"
"Walk away?" I suggested.
I did. The hard workers stopped, looked to me, then scurried to the front of me, leading the way.
It worked. It seemed the rats were desperate to appease me. They were like used car salesmen offering me snacks and water to convince me to buy their most expensive model. Kinda slimy if you think of it, or cute if you squint.
As all things inevitably end up down here, we ran into yet another monster... "yippee," I say in my most nauseated voice.
A lazy xenobiologist would call this thing reptilian, just because it came with scales and feathers, and a forked tongue. Nothing you find off Earth could ever be reptilian, of course, because reptiles never left Earth. Or, as far as I'm aware. The verdict is still out on the dinosaurs.
I take that back. Maybe this is a dinosaur, after 65 million more years of evolution. In that case, I take back what I said about lazy xenobiologists. My inner child hopes against reason to see a dinosaur so much that I'll even tack that title onto something that couldn't possibly be one.
I drew Ted's gun and aimed it. It backed away. Okay then, Maybe we have an understanding.
Its head tilted towards the gun. There was a strong sense of recognition and fear in those eyes.
"Ted? Tell me you didn't shoot one of these when you were alive."
"I assuredly did not," he responded.
"Then why is it looking at your gun like this?"
Next chapter: https://www.reddit.com/HFY/s/875wnXbxrl

Like many of you, indie fragrance became my accidental fixation. I had no prior experience with perfume so I impulsively ordered a lot of samples to figure out what I like. I refuse to add up the amount I spent and hopefully you can all benefit from me word vomiting about my fragrance journey. This latest batch of samples I was extremely excited about receiving because it included two of Morari's Stardew Valley themed perfumes!
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BPAL
Depraved (earthy black patchouli, apricot): This smells earthy, genuinely dirty. There's a strange sweetness that's reminiscent of chocolate for the first twenty minutes or so? I never get strong apricot, but a fruitiness creeps out of the background as time passes. Somehow smells wet. After about an hour it's simply a mildly fruity patchouli. My friend adored this so obviously it's an appealing scent, I'm just realizing I'm not big on fruit smells and this wasn't the most exciting patchouli blend. I gave it to her and I'm glad someone else can enjoy it! 3/10
Mars Ultor (black amber, smoky vanilla, cistus, caramelized tobacco, blackened nutmeg): This is a weirdly tasty tobacco. Dark and spicy. When it's wet it comes across as caramely musk, but as soon as it dries the tobacco creeps out. Warm and sweet but not in a gourmand way. 8/10
Aglaea (golden amber, bright musk, peach wine, myrtle): Holy peaches. A sweet, bright, sunny peach smell. Again, someone else would undoubtedly love this but I'm discovering a distaste for fruity perfume. I'm not fond of things that are sweet in a light way either. 3/10
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CocoaPink
Padre (frankincense, ambergris, dark musk, patchouli, oud, smoke, vetiver, tobacco, chypre, bourbon, neroli, balsam, sandalwood): THIS IS SO GOOD. Initially it's incredibly smoky and something comes across spicy? There's dark, sweet, muskiness in the background that becomes more prominent as time passes. Bold, dark, incensey, masculine, oddly sweet, slightly earthy. Whatever smelled so delightfully spicy is gone within about an hour. At the end of its lifespan there's just slightly sweet, musky incense. Excellent from start to finish. My friend gave me this because she wasn't a fan and I'm going to buy a full size as soon as their fall/winter scents become available! 10/10
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Death & Floral
Plain Jane (black oud, coffee, rolled tobacco, musk, cedar, cinnamon crunch cereal): A pleasant, mildly funky coffee scent. It starts out as a somewhat sweetened, cinnamon flavored coffee. After about thirty minutes, musk and tobacco become far more evident while cinnamon begins fading. This ends up as an enjoyable, musky coffee. Lasts a few hours but wears close to the skin the entire time. 7/10
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Hexennacht
Oogie Boogie (marshmallow, buttered rum, sweet potato pie, coconut, vanilla, dried leaves, pipe smoke, charred wood, amber, sandalwood, musk): Marshmallowy sweet potato pie is the first smell to make an appearance. Rich, heavy, buttery. Musk and sandalwood become more evident as time passes, shifting it away from being a straightforward and sweet gourmand. Very mild smoke and earthiness hang in the background. I feel like I'm in a cottage in the woods, the spice and sweetness of a devoured dessert still hanging in the air, embers from the fire burning out. It’s not quite my thing and still makes me too hungry to wear. Would be nice in the fall. 5/10
Kentucky Bourbon & Woodsmoke (kentucky bourbon, vanilla musk, teakwood, mahogany, light woodsmoke): This predominantly smells like musky vanilla. There are hints of wood and bourbon but it's dominated by vanilla and not in a sweet way. This is a masculine, musky, boozy vanilla. This vanilla would win a bar fight. 6/10
Loup-Garou (silver amber, fur, lunar musk): Holy shit this is good. I don't even know what else to say about it or what to compare it to. I feel like it's a unisex scent, if a man wore this it would make me feral. Musky, sweet, somehow leans slightly cool. All I know is that it made me buy their $60 spray for the first time immediately after putting it on. 10/10
Eternal Sunshine (coconut water, pineapple, apricot, papaya, banana, sunscreen, pool water, sandalwood, seaweed, sea salt, driftwood, mysore, sun-warmed sand, pool toys, choya nakh): This was a free sample and I like it more than I expected (which was not at all). It has a creamy quality from start to finish. At first I predominantly get coconut water, fruit, and a sparkling pool. Not in an overbearing chemical way, there's a strangely mild and complementary chlorine element. It feels more like sitting by an unreasonably fresh body of water than straight up being in a pool (if that means anything??). The juicy sweetness of the fruit balances out the crispness. About three hours later it simply smells like bananas and a dab of sunscreen. This is an authentic summer scent. I never want to smell like this but it's interesting and pleasant. 3/10
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Morari
Ren Faire (spiced honey cakes, strawberry wine, smoke): I'm not always fond of honey/cake/fruit notes, I've encountered similar combos that are straight sugar. This has dark, genuine spice and smoke to it that balances it out and makes it lovely. A great blend of smoke, sweet and boozy strawberry, heavy and moist cake. 7/10
Midnight Market (salty air, coffee, seashells, algae, dockwood, pearl musk): I took a risk and immediately bought a full size of this, it's not quite my style but I still really enjoy it and will definitely wear it. Aquatic in a dirty way, brine and musk and ocean debris. Coffee lingers somewhere in the background. There's a complexity to this that truly conjures what I imagine Stardew’s midnight market smells like. Really interesting atmospheric. 8/10
Salmonberry Season (salmonberries, foliage, petrichor, daffodils, morel): An extremely bright, green scent. Something I can't pinpoint feels familiar, which leads me to believe there's some authentic nature smells in here. Somewhat bitter, feels wet. Crisp floral elements and a gentle whisper of sweetness. Nice but not something I would personally wear. 5/10
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The Strange South
Devil At The Crossroads (charred oak trees, pine, leather, pimento, mandarin, dragon's blood, brimstone, bourbon): This definitely smells like charred wood. I feel like I’m standing next to a bonfire. As it dries, a tiny bit of incensey sweetness comes out. There's a stage where I catch a whiff of something vaguely plasticky. This fades pretty fast for me and isn’t something I could ever wear but 10/10 for feeling like a devil would totally smell like this. 2/10

My love for Fischl needs neither word nor statement, neither measurement nor proof, neither confirmation nor expression, neither reason nor logic, neither doubt nor uncertainty, for it is the truth, the self-evidenced truth, the make-believed fact, the initial-reasoned legitimacy, for it is becoming the cornerstone of my philosophical worldview, of my mental comprehension, of my reality perception.
Notwithstanding, I humbly and patiently long for a day beyond days, a time outside of history, a promised enlightenment, where concepts and meanings are born, barely worthy of retelling a fraction of her magnificence.
And I dream, vastly beautiful dreams, of calling her name, truly calling it, not this bastardization of that holiest concept through the limitations of a mortal tongue.
Many times, I would argue, perhaps this verbal weak imitation of her naming, along with that of her many titles, should be worth at least a sense of punishment, if not capital then that is retributive. But again, with greater reasoning, it is most likely the sheer guilt from that of self-realization of that insurmountable limitation surely must be tenfold more crushing than most sufferings of an external cause.
Thus, it should be from this realization that the most common deduction comes to any intellectual entity; that my affection for the Prinzessin remains far beyond any doubts and needs no confirmation. But should it be needed; it is certainly not above me to scream desperately her name (or rather my best attempt at pronouncing the unpronounceable) into the darkest of abyss and highest of heaven to proclaim this love to those ignorant of such.
And I would do it again, again and again until my blood runs cold, my tears go dry, my throat torn off, yet heart continues beating hotter still from sheer devotion. And it would not be simple repeats but rather iterative, that every syllable of my confession escaping this mouth shalt hold its unique space, for all my actions in her name and for her name unquestionably must be remembered and specialized, immortalized into key moments of my history and that of the larger world.
At this point, the only question that remains is that of the 'why', for the 'how' remains crystal clear and the 'when' and 'where' simply matter not. And let's me tell you why, why I adore Fischl so much.
That she is beautiful is a given. The same to say about her prettiness. And she is cute too, more than adorable. And elegant undoubtedly, she is. But even more than that, to assign these terms to one of her significances, is by itself an elevation of language as a whole. For when saying “Fischl is beautiful”, it says more about your definition of ‘beautiful’ than that nature of her Prinzessin. For never before could one know of a more descriptive expression of that word, that term. And to assume that this statement reaches the ear of someone unfamiliar with the word, yet aware of the person (for all shalt have known Her), and that before, they has never come across a single usage or definition of the word ‘beautiful’, this simple assignment of that term to the Prinzessin should tell more than enough what must be known of the word. For to tell “Fischl is beautiful” to someone lacking the knowledge of “beautiful” immediately reveals to them the understanding of such word, such term, and it is not unreasonable to assume immediately in their mind it comes around to accepting “Ah, so beautiful is to be perfect and attractive, to be made purely of goodness and all virtues, for that are what the Prinzessin holds, and for her to be beautiful, beautiful itself must mean at least one of these things”. And so, as a whole, one must beware of the challenges that lie within using adjectives in describing her Prinzessin, for more easily than not her existence itself may redefine your understanding of language. And for so it makes complete no sense to even argue that “she is ugly”, for this simply returns the fact you lack understanding of what ‘ugly’ truly means.
And even though unnecessary and completely insufficient, I can rant on too, about her beauty, of the golden flowing hair down the waist like a river of fine silk weaved by the masters of art; of the pair of illustrious emerald gemstones, shining, piercing, holding yet a deeper secret within; of the pale white skin from the freshest of snow, tendered to the touch, delicate even to the breeze; of the slender figure bearing a fragile physique, inducing to all minds, one deep sense of wanting to protect.
And I can tell you more about the clothing too, of the eye patch which hides her most sacred passage into a soul realm of riches; of the night-inspired dress adorning to perfection her feminine frame, and its playful tease into the excellence of carnality; of the uneven length high tights leaving just a glimpse of those milky white thighs protected beneath; of those pairs of high boots, of a grim color, of a predatory design, missioned purely for her walk across this land.
But that will only be the Dunkelnacht Sakrament to the series, there exists still the Ein Immernachtstraum to the total.
And with it a blood-red ruby replaces those innocent green, and a dark violet tiara now fittingly crowns her Royal Highness. And the outfit itself changes the tone, lighter purple and skillfully paired with the depth of blue. Like a cloak of elegance and charm now encapsulates her being and refuses to leave out a single hint of imperfection. The details layer itself, building upon the core theme of aristocracy. The accessories each compete for attention yet the harmony itself never truly breaks. A testimony to the limit of artistry. A fruitful product of mortal craftsmanship and divine inspiration. Another outfit to adorn her Prinzessin.
Her appearance alone is a gift to the world, a cure to the sick, a meal to the hunger, an angel to the faithful, a fatale to the heretic, a key to your problem, a question to your answer, the destination of your journey, an utmost brilliant beauty to ever be. But that alone does not make Fischl herself, her full self.
Next on we shall discover her charm, her grace, and her millennial rich soul. Fischl practices a love for the grand, with big words, big talks, she is to capture the mind. Legends weave myths, form together into fairy tales, retold through all fancy syllables leaping from her tongue. As if it were a different world, it is a different world, a world pure of imagination, a make-belief truer than reality. And when sanity is put to the question, no limitation remains far too great, no fate seems too far, and no stars are impossible to reach. And it is through those stories of magic and knights, of a palace more tempting than heaven, of a struggle against all hope, and a final triumph over all fear that her Highness resides upon a golden throne, adorned with a silver crown, ruling over all that is good and judging all who fall to evil. It is where dreams meet, fates intertwine, destinies merge and from there all an epic is born.
Fischl is like that, charming and brilliant, the main actress to a grand theatre, the underlying shade overshowing an entire novel. She is the noble songstress which breaks the silence of an era, the masterful writer who crafts worlds into existence through the might of a pen, the talented dancer who effortlessly attracts all eyes, because even if the spotlight was not there for her, she has already owned the entire opera.
Fischl is like that, so big and impressive, royalty in nature and divine breaths through her veins. Her steps walk legends, her gestures weave myths, her eyes shine new eons, immortalized to the most fundamental sense.
Fischl is like that, ever daring and already on the next adventure, already planning the death of another great beast and toppling of yet another evil kingdom. She would battle ancient sorcerers, with the same seriousness and, at the same time, nonchalance of running after a petty thief. Because justice burns bright in her heart and goodness guides her soul, truly the Princess of Condemnation.
Fischl is all of that, but all of that is not her, not her full.
Because underneath I see a gap, a fracture upon the perfection that is her visage, a hidden young girl beneath that magical Prinzessin, I see Amy too, where Fischl stands.
I see her relentless battles against worldly struggles, against the cruel twist of mortal tongues, against an utmost imposing predicament, against an all-consuming isolation.
I see her naïve dream of a world beyond good, a perfect reality where everything is just right, of somewhere she can be the best she can ever be.
I see her effort put into things most do consider useless, into things most would shun her for, into things she truly loves but for a long time never dares.
I see into it her growth, her talent outshines all peers, her mental maturity out-scales all others, her understanding reaches below fragile subtleties, and she truly comprehends the world, and see into it as a harsh and cruel place, of merciless trampling over childish dream and desire, of absolute predation over naivety.
But I see so clearly, a burning courage, a soul cast in bravery, a relentless struggle against cruelty. Because she never gives up, not once, not for a moment. She sees the world for what it truly is, says fuck it and wishes for a better world regardless. Her dreams mature but never lose their childlike hopefulness, her reality manifests truer yet ideal fantasy all the same. And she walks yet one step closer to being who she could be, who she needs to be, and most importantly wishes to be.
I see a girl living her dreams, and that is commendable.
Fischl is not solely the almighty Prinzessind der Verurteilung so revered in legends and myths, nor is she just Amy - a normal girl chasing after an ever-distant dream. Fischl is both, and therefore neither.
She is Amy living a Fischl dream.
She is Fischl personified through Amy.
She is the most ideal and perfect image for a young girl to ever be.
She is the utmost human and realistic version of a story character.
Fischl is interesting just like that, the more you know.
Then, let's understand further a large part of the becoming of her character, due in no small part to the Mighty Lord of Nachtraben, Ozvaldo Hrafnavins. This relationship between Fischl and Oz is rarely talked about, or if mentioned, only superficially. Their connection is an endless labyrinth, with all the twists and turns, yet the road ahead remains clear always. Each step forward, a building block laid down. Each true dead-end reveals new color. And in the end, a fortress, a palace, a monument, no matter their color or design, stands strong regardless for that is to be the bond they share.
Fischl and Oz have many dynamics:
Friends: Oz is Fischl's first friend, she got bullied and isolated as a child and Oz has been her first and only friend back then. Oz as a friend never leaves Fischl, they are always together and for so understand the other deeply.
Companions: This may sound like the friend part, but companions mean that they are a duo, they are irreplaceable to each other, and they are only fully themselves when together. There isn’t only a Fischl or an Oz, there is always, Fischl and Oz.
Master-Servant: The role-playing part is obvious, Fischl bestowed Oz a name from her favorite book (which she also names herself from) and they act out their roles. But more than that, Oz is a vision construct of Fischl, his existence, sentience, movement, speech, and action are all due to Fischl. Fischl rightfully holds the master position in this relationship, but at the same time, “A king is nothing without his people”, she is only the Master because Oz is the Servant, they are interconnected and inseparable.
Chunnibyou and the straight man: It is often played as a comedic relief or a running joke but Oz being the translator between Fischl and other characters is an important dynamic. From the 2.8 event, we all get to see just how perceptive Fischl is of the world, noticing every smallest detail. Then with her vast imagination, blows a wind of creativity and uniqueness into them all. Fischl paints a world full of colors and spectacles, but few understand. She feels the need to use flowery words because the world she sees is just that beautiful, and gorgeous as her speech flows, it strikes closer to reality than most dare to believe. Anyone who can understand and play along with such will be invited to her word of pure imagination. Oz explaining things, in a sense gatekeeps you from doing so. A lot of Oz translation makes some of Fischl meanings lost and put an emphasis on how eccentric she is. He does this out of a sense of necessity, not only for the world to partially understand Fischl’s intention but also to protect Fischl from inviting those unworthy of her personal world because if they can’t understand even her speeches, what good could they do to comprehend her imagination?
Chunnibyou and the evidence of their fantasy: Lastly, Oz is an irrefutable evidence of Fischl's power, of her fantasy, of her creation. The inner working of Oz is left unknown, yet he is the one single proof that Fischl can use to claim her fantasy. But she did no such things, and Oz supports no such things. They both understand very well the role they are playing, the beautiful dream-like world they are acting out They are content with it be that way, because Fischl doesn’t actually need to be a Prinzessin, she doesn’t need to have a kingdom to rule over, what she desires is friends, companions, respects, self-confidence, and inner strength: virtues that she may have not been able to find within herself because of self-loathing. Fischl understands very well the nature of her fantasy, but instead of trying to be real, to face reality, she goes a step further and pushes for genuineness instead, to live true to her feeling, to shape the world to her true desire. One may think growing up is to face reality and accept cruelty, but it is in Fischl to demonstrate a level of maturity unseen by many: to cross over the line of fantasy and realness, to stare at the horrible truth of the world directly, and still have the courage to strive for dreamlike goodness, to still live true to one’s wish. Oz, in that way, or rather, the lack of that role, allows Fischl to be Fischl, not Amy born Fischl in the Book nor Fischl reincarnates Amy in real life. Fischl is simply and irrefutably Fischl.
Finally, let's delve into something more physical and tangible, of her strength and weakness, for Genshin remains a game, and these things matter also.
To cite an internet intellectual (me):
“I can’t take it anymore! I’m sick of Fischl (not really)! I try to play Yae. My Fischl deals more damage. I try to play Raiden. My Fischl deals more damage. I want to play Aggravate. The best teams have Fischl. I want to play Cyno, Keqing, Yae, Raiden, Lisa, Dori, Razor. They all want Fischl. She grabs me by my throat (yes harder my Prinzessin). I pull on Standard and Ass Banners for her. I cook for her, mine for her, commit genocide for her. I give her R5 Stringless. She isn’t satisfied. I give her Aqua Simulacra, Polar Star, Skyward Harp, The First Great Magic. “Why the hell aren’t they R5” she insults me (uwu). “Gives me more field time” she demands. She grabs Nahida and makes the poor Archon throw herself against the enemies. She kidnaps Kazuha and makes him jump up and down like a Mario spinoff to debuff enemies. She seduces Bennett and takes all of his juicy buff for herself. She isn’t satisfied. “You just need to … forget it, I have no weakness, just give me 54.4 CV artifacts to deal more damage”. I don’t have any 54.4 CV artifacts, my luck is shit. She forces me to refresh resin, I can’t refresh resin, I don’t have enough primogems. She grabs my credit card. It declines. “Thou hath outlived thy usefulness, my final farewell to thee”. She summons Oz. She orders: “By Royal Decree”. I stare into the birb’s eyes. There’s nothing there. Nothing but pure, 50% of most Aggravate team damage, no icd, electro damage. What a cruel world (I prefer being choked).”
Fischl is fucking overpower.
Low field time, non-existent ER requirement, combo independent, snapshottable skill, highest electro application, a fuck lot of damage, insane particle generation, ridiculous flexibility.
Basically free damage, except this damage is a minimum 20% of your entire team, except she also batteries, and enables reactions. So it really is a top-tier support doing top-tier damage with zero maintenance cost and skill-less gameplay: Drop Oz, fuck the enemies up, repeat and profit.
Playing Fischl is like playing with cheat on, except the cheat is free, except people will pad you on the back for using it, and Mihoyo loves you now since they also think Fischl is best girl.
And it costs literally nothing to start, get her free from the shop, c0 already really good, c2 feels really nice, c3 really strong, c6 is literal ascension. Level her up normally, with that common flower already excess in your inventory, with the arrowheads you accidentally stock. Then talent up her skill, and only her skill (unless you are like me and based), because she literally only needs her skill, so that’s more resource you can save. And don’t worry about artifacts, 4pc Golden Troupe is obviously the best, 2pc 2pc of any random em/attack/DMG % also works, you can use Gilded Dream too, or Tenacity if addicted to buff; or you would rather throw on her any remaining scraps from building your main dps, since really she works with everything. Finally, for her weapons, since she only cares about stats, just throw everything into an Optimizer and mess around.
And Fischl is like the definition of future-proof, out of the 10 recently released characters, 8 already have top teams with her, 1 still at an Abyss clearing level, and only 1 without synergy. And Mihoyo seems keen on buffing her, either with new artifacts, weapons, or new teammates. And to cite again that internet intellectual:
“A mediocre character like Fischl obviously needs such a buff. They kinda did something in 1.6 and 2.1. The release of Dendro is a nice quality of life improvement but nowhere near enough, a step in the right direction though, have to give them that. Now this new artifact set may finally make Fischl competitive with super meta Dori and Dehya. Still looking forward to her next, very needed, very essential buff.”
And also don’t worry about finding her gameplay boring, since with how flexible she is, it is faster to name teams where she doesn’t synergize with than vice versa. She is basically a top 3, top 5 fourth spot for any non-cryo, non-Nilou team. Top 1 core choice for any team with an electro carry. Top 1, top 2 choices for any double electro variation. And practically irreplaceable in aggravate. So Fischl is like a really good answer to most questions, and a perfect answer to some, and basically the only answer to one.
For a new player, her high attack range and burst-independent gameplay are a godsend. While extremely cheap to build into lategame and compatible with most future archetypes.
For a midgame player, Fischl acts as your team core, her low maintenance in combat comes in extremely clutch, her stupidly efficient domain feels like cheating.
For an endgame player, Fischl is literally a carry, snapshottable skill means mega-buff-able skill with zero need for extra input. And her mechanics counter loads of annoying enemies.
For an ultra-endgame player, Fischl’s damage may feel a bit lacking now, but her particle generation and elemental application are still top tier. Elegy and Tenacity are always there if you feel like doing a buff. And no, fuck it, her damage isn’t any weaker in lategame, vertically scaling Fischl is real, don’t deny it, give her Aqua or Polar, add either a Bennet or C2 Nahida and she will do a fuckload of damage again.
So yeah, Fischl is fucking overpower.
That then will be the end of my analysis on the perfection that is Her Prinzessin.
Whether is real or not, regardless of the ending of this devotion, I will still propose to Fischl with 72 paragraphs of perfectly written, Shakespearean level sophistication, Immernachtreich common interest driven, Heaven Principles deceiving performance love letter.
She will either reject me, insult me with her own 14 paragraph of Shakespearean level slurs in a stereotypically aggressive German voice, hopefully step on me and I can finally off myself peacefully from a roof; or join in my quest of throwing hands against Celestia.
Anyway, as a Fischl-connoisseur, who is well-versed in the analysis and preaching of the Prinzessin’s character and appearance, with profound and extensive knowledge in the field of Fischlology, and decorated experience in online argumentative interactions, my source for everything I said thus now is that I made it the fuck up.
TLDR: Fisch is best girl.
Let end this essay with a short poem:
Upon each morn's awakening, I rise, From Immernachtreich-themed bed, I prize, Beside Her visage, perfection in my eyes, Whose magnificence, my dreams don’t lie.
I envision a meal, a princely feast, Spoon-fed by the Prinzessin, noblest, grandest, Her guiding hand, worlds to navigate, many seas, Without her presence, life's perils would not cease.
In lectures, I mimic, a foolish endeavor, To match Fischl's intellect, a pursuit I'll never, Her wisdom, a fortress, challenges to sever, In academia's halls, I strive to be clever.
At lunch, I imagine, in the cafeteria's crowd, Her Majesty with me, her praise spoken loud, Noticeable and eccentric, my devotion avowed, In her honor, my love, profound and proud.
After school, I stroll, thoughts on her, unswayed, Through three trees embraced, my path displayed, Two shady alleys, true, I may have strayed, Her Excellence's praise, my protection, unafraid.
Returning home, to my sanctum I fly, To the Immernachtreich bed, with a joyful cry, Beside Fischl, my wish, my spirits, soar high, In Genshin, I grind, for million moons, I'll comply.
Finally, I want Fischl to insult me with 14 paragraphs of Shakespearean level slur in a stereotypically aggressive German voice.

Hello! Looking to declutter these fragrances from my collection! If you have any questions, please feel free to reach out!
Shipping is $7 for 1lb bottles, $10 for over 1lb
Pictures Below:
Pictures of perfumes
Pictures of indies and body sprays
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Al Haramain Amber Oud Gold (60ml, like new) — $35
Al Rehab French Coffee (100ml, like new) — $22
Ariana Grande Thank U Next 2.0 (30mL, like new) — $20
Armaf Club De Nuit Woman Intense (100ml, like new) — $22
SOLD Amouage The Library Collection Rose Incense (100mL) — $180
Atelier des Ors Rose Omeyyade (100ml, 95%+ full) — $110
Attar Collection Crystal Love for Her (100ml, like new) — $75
TRADED Bohoboco Coffee White Flowers — $100
Comptoir Sud Pacifique Coco Extreme(100ml) — $50
Comptoir Sud Pacifique Amour de Cacao (30mL) — $35
Demeter Butterscotch (120mL) — $20
SOLD Dior Hypnotic Poison EDT (100mL, ~45-50% full, from 2013. Has paint peeling off around nozzle area, see pics) — $50
Dossier Floral Pear / Jo Malone Pear & Freesia (50mL, like new) — $25
Dossier Powdery Hawthorn / Tom Ford Metallique (50mL, like new) — $25
Dolce Gabanna The Only One (100ml, 85% full) — $45
Dolce Gabanna Pour Femme (100ml, 95% full) — $45
Floral Street London Poppy (50mL) — $38
SOLD Gallagher Fragrances Wicked Good (50mL, like new) — $100
Givenchy Organza (100ml, brand new still sealed) — $50
SOLD Kate Spade New York (100ml, like new) — $45
Hez Parfums Brownie Points (50mL) — $60
Jimmy Choo Jimmy Choo EDP (100ml, like new) — $38
SOLD Jo Malone English Oak & Redcurrant (30mL, like new) — $45
Juicy Couture Glistening Amber (100ml, like new) — $35
Juliette Has A Gun Miss Charming (100mL, like new) — $65
SOLD Kayali Sweet Diamond Pink Pepper (100ml) - $95
Kenzo Jeu d'Amour l'Elixir (50mL) — $45
SOLD Lancome Midnight Rose (50mL) — $45
Lancôme La Vie Est Belle (50mL) — $55
Lattafa Yara (100ml, like new) — $25
Maison Margiela Replica When the Rain Stops (100mL) - $80
Mancera Vanille Exclusive (120mL, like new) — $65
SOLD Milano Fragranze Piazza Affari (100mL) - $65
Paco Rabanne Black XS for Her(80mL) — $40
Parfums de Marly Herod (125mL, seldom used prob 99% full though the bottle has some minor scuff marks from being moved in my drawer) — $160
Police to be Sweet Girl (4oz, like new) — $18
SOLD Sarah Jessica Parker NYC Crush (100mL) — $20
Skylar Fall Cashmere (50mL, like new) — $50
Skylar Vanilla Orchid (10ml rollerball) — $15
Sphinx Fragrances Chocolate Citronique (100ml, like new) — $100 (retails $140)
SOLD Swiss Arabian Casablanca (100mL) — $35
Theodoros Kalotinis Vanilla (50mL, like new) — $50
Vivamor Reserve Exclusif (100mL, like new) - $110
SOLD Vivamor Ultimate Aphrodisiac (100mL, like new): — $110
SOLD Xerjoff Tony Iommi Monkey Special (50mL, see fi[ll level, some minor paint peeling off, but the perfume itself isn’t affect red) — $145
Zara Deep Garden (100ml, like new) — $25
Zara Supreme Vanilla (80mL, like new) — $28
Zara Red Temptation Summer (80mL, like new) — $30
Bundle of 3 body mists (see photos): $12
Bundle of 3 cheapie perfumes (see photo): $25
————————
Indie Perfumes:
Sugarmilk Candy Cosmos (50mL): $35
Sugarmilk Strawberry Cereal (50mL): $30
Andromeda’s Moon Red Velvet Cake (30mL): $30
Black Hearted Tart Wonderful Christmastime, discontinued (30mL): $35
Elfmade Lemon Merringue & Hot Chocolate Fragrance Mist Bundle - $10
Wylde Ivy Stuck On You Dry Oil Spray (120mL) - $12

• Notes of: sticky, melted fruit candy, dried cotton candy, a touch of strawberries and sweet musk. Stuck on You goes on candy sweet and melts beautifully into a smooth, mellow sugar musk

10ml travel sprays are $8 each, all like new (butterscotch and salted caramel SOLD, everything listed below is still available)
Blueberry Cobbler: fresh blueberries, warm buttery crust, cinnamon, and vanilla
Pineapple Upside Down Cake: pineapples, orange zest, bing cherries, coconut, butter, brown sugar, and vanilla cake
Strawberry Sugar Cookie: strawberries, cookie dough, sugar, vanilla, whipped cream, vanilla cake
Cinnamon Spiced Vanilla: warm spices, sweet vanilla, and cinnamon
Peppermint Cocoa: Warm chocolate, peppermint, vanilla, and patchouli
Raspberry Milk: crushed raspberries, delicate rose syrup, and velvety milk
Siren: lemon peel, warm woods, lily, jasmine, violet blooms
Cotton Candy Melon: sweet cotton candy with a watermelon twist
Blueberry Cobbler: fresh blueberries, warm buttery crust, cinnamon, and vanilla
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Decants
Shipping will be $5
Initio: 5mL=$20 / 10mL=$30
Atomic Rose
Side Effect
Oud for Happiness
Psychedelic Love
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Kerosene: 5mL=$20 / 10mL=$30
Black Vines
Follow
Followed
Sweetly Known
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Navitus & Vivamor: 5mL=$20 / 10mL=$30
Absolutio
Baklava Royale
Caramel Pop
Choco Exclusif
Chocolate Queen
Divine Aphrodisiac
The Embrace
Ultimate Aphrodisiac
Venom of Love
————————————————————
Mancera: 5mL=$18 / 10mL=$30
Amber Fever
Aoud Vanille
Black Vanilla
Choco Violette
Indian Dream
Instant Crush
Holidays
Juicy Flowers
Musk of Flowers
Roses Greedy
Roses Vanille
Royal Vanilla
Tonka Cola
Wild Candy
Wild Python
Vanille Exclusive
Velvet Vanilla
————————————————————
Montale: 5mL=$18 / 10mL=$30
Honey Aoud
Mukhallat
Roses Musk
White Musk
Vanilla Cake
————————————————————
Parfums de Marly: 5mL=$20 / 10mL=$30
Herod
Oajan
————————————————————
Sphinx Fragrances: 5mL=$20 / 10mL=$30
Chocolate Citronique
Creme De Pistache
Horchata de Vanille
————————————————————
Niche Fragrances: 5mL=$22 / 10mL=$33
Amouage Epic Woman
Amouage Rose Incense
BDK Velvet Tonka
Guerlain Santal Royal
Jovoy Paris Remember Me
Kilian Sunset
Tom Ford Metallique
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Designer Fragrances: 5mL=$18 / 10mL=$28
Ariana Grande (I have all her perfumes)
Azzaro Wanted Girl
Carolina Herrera Good Girl
Carolina Herrera Very Good Girl
Carolina Herrera Good Girl Supreme
Carolina Herrera Good Girl Legere
Coach Coach EDP
Coach Dreams
Coach Sunset Dreams
Commodity Milk Expressive
Commodity Velvet Expressive
Comptoir Sud Pacifique Amour De Cacao
Comptoir Sud Pacifique Coco Figue
Comptoir Sud Pacifique Vanille Cafe
Comptoir Sud Pacifique Vanille Extreme
Dolce & Gabanna The Only One
Fenty Fenty
Franck Boclet Ylang Ylang
Givenchy Dahlia Divin Le Nectar
Givenchy Live Irresistible EDP
Givenchy Live Irresistible Blossom Crush
Givenchy L’Interdit
Givenchy L’Interdit Intense
Gucci Bloom EDP
Gucci Flora Gorgeous Gardenia
Gucci Flora Gorgeous Jasmine
Gucci Flora Gorgeous Magnolia
Guerlain Black Perfecto
Guerlain La Petite Robe Noir
Guerlain La Petite Robe Noir Intense
Guerlain Mon Guerlain EDP
Guerlain Aqua Allegoria Ginger Piccante
Kate Spade New York
Kate Spade New York Sparkle
Jean Paul Gaultier La Belle
Jean Paul Gaultier La Belle Le Parfum
Jean Paul Gaultier Scandal By Night
Jimmy Choo Jimmy Choo EDP
Jimmy Choo Fever
Jimmy Choo Illicit
Jimmy Choo I Want Choo Forever
Juliette Has A Gun Sunny Side Up
Juliette Has A Gun Miss Charming
Lancôme La Vie Est Belle L’Eclat
Lancôme La Vie Est Belle EDP
Lancôme La Nuit Tresor
Lancôme La Nuit Tresor A La Folie
Lolita Lempicka EDP
Lolita Lempicka Lolitaland
Lolita Lempicka Sweet
Narciso Rodriguez Pure Musc
Nina Ricci Rose Extase
Replica When The Rain Stops
Replica On A Date
Salvatore Ferragamo Amo Ferragamo
Salvatore Ferragamo Signorina Misteriosa
Skylar Fall Cashmere
Tory Burch Love Relentlessly
Valentino Donna Born in Roma

33 RS3 Videos to Watch from the Month of April

 
Hello folks, I think some of the reddit folks remember my post from last month which was a list of all the currently active RS3 YouTube Content Creators (which has already changed since some people have become active again), if you haven't here is the link. I had previously posted a similar spotlight post of some of the best RS3 videos for the Month of March and wanted to keep it to a monthly theme and have created this April centered post.
These are my opinions but I will provide the title of the video, the name of the creator, a summary of the video and the link of said video.
These videos will be listed based on the alphabetical order of the titles and is not a ranking guide since some of these videos are basically raw and unpolished. Please note a majority of these creators do not make RS3 Content as a profession and they post these videos as a passion project for the game we all enjoy and play, RuneScape 3. If you enjoy any of these videos, please like, comment and subscribe to whichever Creators you enjoyed.
 
 

100 Magister Takedowns: Is He Worth It? Runescape

Charliz4rd92

Well Protoxx, I think we finally have someone whose voice is a bit more soothing or satisfying to listen to. In this very simple video, Charliz4rd92 in his amazing voice narrates his experience with the Magister in the current bossing meta of the game. Honestly the content was normal bossing but man is his voice satisfying to listen to and the video edits and introduction makes him a Content Creator to keep an eye on.
Video Link
 
 

2:14 ab2 – the fastest floor ever done in W77

L2ggs

For a majority of people this title is an acronym that most people don’t understand and if you do, you’re a RuneScape 3 player that most likely played a decade ago. This is a Dungeoneering Speedrun record video where the 5 man finished an Abandoned 2 Floor in 2 minutes and 14 seconds. This video was posted by L2ggs who is one of the best DG’ers in the current era of the game where he and a multitude of other Dungeoneering Speedrunners are trying to break records that are still considered impossible to beat from several years ago. If you are interested in gaining an insane amount of Dungeoneering experience, a unique highscores or an insane amount of Dungeoneering Tokens in a short amount of time, this is a community you want to learn about.
Video Link
 
 

30.000% Zamorak, HALFWAY TO 60K!!! [TRIO]

Sejearian

Last month we had quite a few Bossing feats happen for the first time. Even though I am only posting one of 30,000% Zamorak Enrage feats, there were multiple that happened last month, and I recommend checking out all of them by looking them up on YouTube. So, for those who don’t know supposedly 60,000% Zamorak is the maximum enrage you can get to when fighting the Zamorak boss and no one has even gotten close to reaching this yet. Sejearian a top tier PvM’er showcases this 3 man Zamorak fight where any wrong or incorrectly mechanic response would have ended their run to get to the halfway point of this boss nearly two years later after its release.
Video Link
 
 

AFK Nightmare Creatures Necromancy Guide

Silenced

I honestly forgot that Nightmare Creatures existed since they have faded to obscurity over the last several years. In this video Silenced showcases that Nightmares are very easily Afk’able with Necromancy and how to achieve this feat. Not to mention it is a great money maker and experience gaining method. It is a very high tier expensive loadout needed to be able to utilize this method but definitely a viable method for Necromancy Experience to finish that last portion of the 200m grind.
Video Link
 
 

Araxxor Guide (Necromancy) for the casual player

Dropping Bear

This is Dropping Bear’s first boss guide and I think he did a pretty good job. In this slow but very methodical guide, he showcases how to beat Araxxor with necromancy and how to deal with every mechanic during every phase. He includes graphics, visual indications and a lot of great tips and tricks on how to deal with the Boss as a player attempting their first go for this boss. If you’re a person whose scared of bossing, this is an excellent mid-tier to beginning stage boss to learn with very good reward output.
Video Link
 
 

Blooming Burrow [FashionScape Showcase #3]

Crystal

Spotlighted by Jagex on the RuneScape Weekly Update in the first week of April, this video deserves to be on this list also due to how well Crystal explains the new Easter FashionScape items. With her video she goes into visual detail (with outfit combinations) about all the new cosmetic items and titles and how to unlock them. Unfortunately, the Easter Event has ended upon creating this post but this would be an excellent video to watch and see how the new cosmetics would look in game if you ever plan to get them in a future event.
Video Link
 
 

Eating this Obscure Food INCREASES DPS!!!

Cyruss

Mostly working on his Golden Reaper series, Cyruss showcases a unique new food tech method that can increase your damage output if you are attempting to break some PvM records. I personally have never heard of it myself but it’s a unique method that synergizes well with a few other game mechanics. I recommend this for any casual or new PvM’er to utilize this method in your new attempts at doing a boss for the first time or for a End game PvM’er who is trying to make it on the PvM Speedrun TwitteX shoutouts.
Video Link
 
 

Fashionscape: Forest Archer Outfits – Runescape (Female Outfits)

Wings of Absurdity

Wings has been just pouring out unique new content, but my personal favorite is the Fashionscape Outfit showcases. Similar to the last month, Wings has edited it really well where they match the scenery, sound effects and lighting to go with the outfit theme. I am a sucker for Range outfits and I really like the Maplewood Archer and Deepwood Beastmaster sets they showcase.
Video Link
 
 

Hidden in Runescape’s New Quest are insane Lore Revelations! Requiem for A Dragon!

Prideslayer RS

With the release of RuneScape’s newest quest, Requiem for A Dragon. Mr Prideslayer has once again released another amazing theory crafted video about the Lore of the Quest. Even if you are not a lorehound, I think you can appreciate all the crazy research this man has done. In fact, most Jmods are scared of even posting lore content since this man is like Charlie from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia who is going to dissect everything that gets posted. It’s a fun watch and you will laugh or at minimum smirk.
Video Link
 
 

How To PROPERLY Kill Rasial! – Beginner Tips

Init Yeah

Even though I might be compiling this video list, I am not the greatest PvM’er and guides like this one by Init Yeah are awesome. In the video, he does a great breakdown of some of the most common issues he sees since he often hosts Bossing masses and is constantly getting other player feedback from their Bossing attempts. Usually Init Yeah isn’t my style of videos however this video is a quality watch especially if you’re still new to Bossing still.
Video Link
 
 

INSANE LORE – Can Mod Stu Save RUNESCAPE? Beloved developer talks Lore, New Player experience!

Prideslayer RS

Probably the best video of the month. This excellent video or interview with Mod Stu is a must watch for the month. In this deep dive of an interview, Prideslayer goes into the deep end of RuneScape 3 lore. With questions pertaining to Ashdale future rework to become a Minigame hub to extreme Xau Tuk lore, many lore questions are answered and unanswered in this great interview. If you’re a lorehound or want to see how passionate people are about the lore than you need to watch this video.
Video Link
 
 

Is the new Necromancy ritual good? I did the math.

Qp RS

A short video by Qp that goes over the new Ectoplasm Ritual which is a massive update for Ironmans. In this video despite him missing the new Necklace of Alteration (20% Output Increase) which he addresses in the comments, he explains what the expected output for Ectoplasm would be achievable for both Ironman and Main Accounts. For main accounts, I would still recommend checking this video out since this is a great new money maker if you still need to train Necromancy to 120.
Video Link
 
 

KBD on F2P with no Food

Void Delphox

Void is normally a speedrunner or building unique 1 defence accounts but in this video, they showcase their skill in beating the King Black Dragon in Free to Play without any food. This video came about when someone made a comment in their previous April Fools video claiming that KBD was harder than 4K enrage of Zamorak on a 42 defence account that he attempted to do.
Video Link
 
 

Let’s Talk About Necromancy’s Visual Design Part 1 – Ft. Several RS Content Creators

A C P L

A new format that A C P L, one of RS3’s prolific lorehound’s utilizes is this question and analysis format where he gets RS3 Content Creators to give their thoughts on the new Necromancy Visual Designs. The perspectives are fresh with a variety of viewpoints that analyze the color schemes and what they represent to the highest tier of necromancy gear not being able to be dyed for the initial few months upon release and various other necromancy design elements.
Video Link
 
 

Necromancer’s Guide to Solo Kalphite King

Raph, the Boy Genius

Raph is one of the premier PvM guru’s for RuneScape 3 who you can always catch streaming. In this video, the man showcases how to deal with the Kalphite King and every various phase and how to respond in those scenarios.
Video Link
 
 

NEW RUNESCAPE SKILL – Ultimate Benchsitting 1-99 Guide

AshShley

In this pun-tastic video AshShley goes over the iconic April Fools event of this year or in my opinion the best April Fools event we’ve ever had in RuneScape 3. If you missed it, that’s really unfortunate however this video is a great watch of what you missed in regard to the best new skill that was added to the game for a singular week. AshShley is generally known for her Totally Relatable Guides which is intended for the casual player so check out her channel for more silly puns and guides similar to this one.
Video Link
 
 

NEW SKILLCAPE – RuneScape

PolarizedMoon

In the previous video located above, I recommend AshShley’s guide but this video of PolarizedMoon where he naturally discovers the new skill is a joy to watch. PolarizedMoon normally plays RuneScape in a more casual style due to the variety of games he plays and posts on his channel. However, if you want to watch a lighthearted creator who isn’t all about efficiency and is just playing for fun, he is an excellent creator in this regards.
Video Link
 
 

Rat Tales Episode 2 – Jmod Azanna

Rat Cypher

A newer RuneScape 3 player, Rat Cypher has been consistently getting some amazing guests for his new podcast and this time he is joined by Jagex Moderator Azanna. Jmod Azanna is one of the backend Jagex Community Managers who deals with a lot of the Subcommunities of RuneScape 3. In this lengthy interview, Rat has taken multiple questions from the community that have been asked to Jmod Azanna despite Rat and Azanna going off random tangents for a good portion of the interview. Nonetheless, Jmod Azanna gives some very juicy answers and even some insights about the different RuneScape communities he interacts with daily.
Video Link
 
 

RS3 Journey of Taskman Micks #71 (#runescape 3 Taskman Mode)

MickeyThaGamer

In my last month compilation, I provided an introductory video that explained the rules of Taskman and now wanted to spotlight one of the premier Taskman players in MickeyThaGamer. Aiming for Rank 1 in Taskman mode, Mickey is on Episode 71 of the series where he’s reaching ever closer to top 50 Taskman ranks. He’s currently completed all the Beginner and Easy Tasks and now is chugging through the Medium tier hoping he doesn’t roll one of the extremely long grinds in this progression video.
Video Link
 
 

RuneScape’s BEST Skilling Aura: Jack Of Trades

IronArraxor

This really well edited video by IronArraxor is a return to form video which is him coming back to video posting due to a very busy initial few months of 2024. The video goes over the once highly controversial Jack of Trades Aura that a good percentage of the Ironman community heavily disliked. Despite this viewpoint, it has become an iconic daily that Mains and Ironmans utilize frequently and IronArraxor goes into full detail of what cost/input/reward of this amazing item. If you ever have long term plans for maxing in general, I would highly recommend checking this amazing guide video out.
Video Link
 
 

RuneScape Has Horror in it Now? – OSRS Player Returns to RS3: Episode 9

Topher

If you haven’t been following along Topher’s videos of his exploration of RuneScape 3 coming from OSRS then you have been missing out. In another great video comparing his experiences between both games where he has been exploring the modern version of the game without guides, he provides excellent commentary of both the great stuff and the flaws in the current game on a new account. In this particular video he goes through numerous quests with the highlight being the iconic Broken Homes quest in RuneScape 3.
Video Link
 
 

RuneScape in a nutshell

Rong Rong

Not a RuneScape 3 Content Creator however Rong Rong clearly plays the game and created this great animation about most of the iconic skills we have in RuneScape 3. This is an excellent video for sharing if you want to recommend RuneScape and then tell the person you’ll understand all the references after you play a bit.
Video Link
 
 

Runescape’s Newest Quest Reward Packs A Punch! Soul Ring Review

The RS Guy

A much simpler video compared to the massive video he released last month; The RS Guy reviews the new Necromancy ring and where it fits in the current meta of the game. The video also does a great explanation of what abilities it synergizes with and where you should utilize the ring to its full potential. Short and simple video but the synergizing component of the video is something that I think people need to watch since that mechanic is massive for Slayer grind in my personal opinion.
Video Link
 
 

SalamnderScape Rule the World

Elej

Elej is one of the leaders of the ScreenieScape community who has also previously been nominated multiple times for the Golden Gnome Awards. In this short video, she and the ScreenieScape community have taken over RuneScape as Salamanders! If you are interested in these fun activities, they are advertised on Discord and Twitter with large turnouts and often get noticed in the Weekly posts on the RuneScape website.
Video Link
 
 

Should YOU get BiS Melee? Runescape 3

FroggieGames

A follow-up from last month’s video is this great analysis of Melee by Froggie Games. In this video he does a great job of breaking up the core aspects of Melee and where it fits in the current meta of the Game. I think if you plan to return to this iconic combat style or had fond memories of the style you should watch this video.
Video Link
 
 

Slayer time… and we got lucky!! – Runescape Progress (#33)

Crunchie

I might have repeated this from last month too but for Slice of Life casual RuneScape 3 progression videos, Crunchie is at the best in this category for the content. She edits them really well, throws in a bunch of nice scenic shots of her real life and isn’t playing efficiencyscape. I recommend checking her content out simply to see the style of videos since they are a lot more unique than most other progression style videos.
Video Link
 
 

Telos Into [Animation]

PupRS

Experimenting in a different domain, this animation which was utilized in one of TheRSGuy’s videos is Pups first animation to date. Posted on Twitter or X initially, this hyped me up for the Telos Bossing video days before it was actually released by TheRSGuy. Normally Pup is a PvM and Clue Maestro but him exploring some new content for RuneScape 3 is awesome to see and I personally can’t wait to see his next animation.
Video Link
 
 

The “best” way to play RuneScape 3

Pixel Hippie

Most people who play Old School RuneScape know of the iconic UltraHardcore Ironman Mode or simply referred to UIM. In RuneScape 3 we do not have this game mode however the concept has been attempted by a few content creators which I have listed in my Content Creator List. Well let’s turn it up a notch and do it on a Controller is what Pixel has decided in his latest series. Watch his latest journey where he is restricted to his 28 inventory spaces and no bank access while he plays Controller the whole time.
Video Link
 
 

The FINAL upgrade for Best In Slot RANGED gear! Runescape Journey EP22

ChrisMelloRS

I will say out of this whole list, Chris has the best intros to his video uncontested. Every episode for this return to RuneScape series starts with a great short skit that really just makes the video enjoyable from the start of the episode. The content of the video showcases his experience with the progression of the game as a ironman and at the given moment his exploration into bossing with the Ranged style with the massive buffs the style had of late.
Video Link
 
 

This will be HUGE for prayer RS3 Hardcore Ep.16

IronCoachH

Someone mentioned in my last March post for this topic, to add folks with personality and IronCoachH exemplifies personality. This video showcases his progress for reaching the front page of the Hardcore Ironman HiScores and he narrates his progress over the course of the video. Unfortunately, he is months behind compared to his Twitch progress but even with his highly shortened videos you can see that exuberant personality he showcases on his Livestreams. He’s a solid fun watch especially if you ever have plans for how to progress a Hardcore Ironman.
Video Link
 
 

Tick Perfect – Beastmaster Durzag (Unbeatable)

I Dps

There are multiple versions of this same kill since this was done in a team which included Papa Dor, Unge Spiller, I Dps (video creator), GodHeOwnzzz, DePose, I Call Dibs, The Dig Site, Saltea, kyroh and Praesul. This video is a bit more detailed and well edited compared to the other viewpoints where the creator showcases the ability rotations, all the involved PvM’ers and how they actually achieved the feat in the video. If you are confused for what exactly they accomplished in the video, the basic explanation is that they mechanically beat the boss in the fastest game time possible due to the new Melee changes as a result of the latest Combat Changes. If you are wanting to see different viewpoints, nearly all of these folks have posted videos on their own channel.
Video Link
 
 

Vorkath’s Fall – RuneScape 3 Music

Yann

I am unfortunately one of those people who grew up playing the game in silence because I would be sneaking onto the computer to be playing RuneScape. However, I regret it heavily because I never really valued the amazing Original Sound Tracks that Jagex has created for RuneScape until I got much older. Yann who compiles all the original sound tracks that Jagex produces posts it on his channel for anyone wanting to relisten to them independently. This particular video is the soundtrack of the most iconic part of the new Requiem For A Dragon quest and is a must listen for anyone who hasn’t listened to it yet. On their channel you can find 3 other tracks from the quest that are also worth a listen.
Video Link
 
 

What to do after getting Membership

Protoxx

A voice that most people are familiar with, Protoxx made this great video for how to utilize your membership if you have bought Membership recently. Its an excellent watch or share if you have any new friends or have started up again in a long time. One of the things that he mentions as his first big topic which I am going to repeat too, is that make sure you make a plan. The game has a lot of content and it can overwhelm you so making small goals, long goals or any particularly
Video Link
 
 

Older Videos and Special Shoutout Videos

So, I lied that I won’t be posting videos before March, I keep finding older videos that are a gem and should be watched due to the amazing content that the Content Creator has produced. If I find anything in the previous months I will post it below.
 
 

5 Biggest Nerfs in RuneScape History

LOLjerel

Hola Muchacho is how we get introduced to Mr Jerel. With great editing and funny commentary, Jerel goes into an excellent overview of some of the biggest PvM nerfs in RuneScape 3’s history. It’s a very fun short video that you can easily share the video in all the RuneScape chats to get a conversation going.
Video Link
 
 

The Dragon Mattock grind begins… Legalocked #12 – Legacy Locked Ironman RS3

Rheyo RS

I do not know how I missed Rheyo’s iconic Legacy Locked account video from last month, but it deserves to be on the list. This series focuses on utilizing the classical combat style that most people know vividly of due to Old School RuneScape or anyone who played Pre-2012. In this well edited series, the man explores some of the hardest bossing challenges which utilizes Legacy Necromancy and the other legacy styles as an Ironman. In this particular video he’s started his long grind at Big Game Hunter without the Surge or Dive abilities which is honestly fun and impressive to watch. He’s hinted in his latest social media posts that he did something crazy in the month of April for the account but he hasn’t posted the video yet, but if you know what he has hinted the next video should be amazing.
Video Link
 
 

The Pain is Almost OVER Extreme Chunk Locked Ironman Episode 17

Chunk Yony

This iconic series known as Extreme Chunk Locked Ironman in Old School RuneScape by Limpwurt has been attempted in RuneScape 3. Follow the journey of Chunk Yony who as a student is still producing this unique series in his free time in his attempt to conquer all the Chunks in RuneScape 3. What is a Chunk? Well RuneScape was designed in memory fragments which consisted of a size of 150 game tiles by 150 game tiles which is a total of 22,500 game tiles. This account restricts itself based on these chunks that the game was designed around in that you can only progress after completing all the things available in that chunk that are possible. I know he has a newer episode released but this older video better represents the content he has been producing.
Video Link
 
 

RuneScape 3, But My Combat Only is Being Followed #5

Lyfe

More notable for his Old School RuneScape series, Lyfe has still created one of the best unique account builds in RuneScape 3 with this Combat Only Ironman. In this particular video, you see some of the theorycrafting him and his buddies do to unlock very niche but big upgrades for the account. He has access to the shops for this Combat Only Ironman which is a bit different than the other RS3 Combat Only Ironman and he showcases how he utilizes the Shops to his advantage. I personally think he does an excellent job on editing, showcasing his progress compared to the last video and future goals really well and I think if you plan to watch this, you should actually start from the start of the series to understand how he built this fun account.
Video Link
 
 
If you think I missed any other videos, feel free to post them down below in the comments.