Moms cumming

It was a mundane summer afternoon in 2002, the fan was in full swing but barely managing to dissuade the heat in a small TRT quarter of ACC Jhinkpani. We’d just wrapped the mat that four of us, we three sisters and mom would roll on in afternoons enjoying our dose of k serials and some of us falling asleep midway. There was our regular mama sparrow flying in and out through the window as she took care of her nest which housed her tiny babies. She built the nest with small twigs from our garden at a peculiar place, it was in a cavity that was formed due to a hole made in lower ceiling to put the fan. This was a regular affair at our house with small twigs strewn around the house and my mom sweeping them every day at twilight. That evening we heard a light crackling sound & a thump only to find a tiny little sparrow getting hit by the fan and falling in the middle of our living cum bedroom. The sight made our hearts melt as the baby sparrow lay there wounded & helpless twitching and twirling in pain, not able to find her mother around and in a far more lit area than the cavity where she spent the initial days of her life. I was too quick to pick it up to help her but not knowing what to do. She’d a bruise above her tiny feet which was bleeding. Then as a family we decided to provide first aid by applying turmeric paste, an antiseptic ingredient found in all Indian kitchens. And that’s how Piki made an entry in our family of six, mom, dad, grandma and we three sisters. And now we're seven. She quickly became the apple of our eyes. She recovered within a couple of days, and we were learning the tricks to feed her cooked rice by teaching her to open her cute mouth adequately. Her fav spot was to hop on my dad’s green lungi, a sarong sort of clothe item that men in South India would tie around their waist and let loose till the ankle. We’d teach her to fly by throwing her over to one another in a very small distance, enough for her to flutter her wings and making sure we catch her in time. She became our muse in a very short span. Everyone loved her to bits. We created a small nest for her to sleep in in a shoe box with grass properly placed to cushion her and a hole in the box for her to breathe. At night I’d place her in the box & cover her with the box lid to secure her. Her abode was placed just below my dad’s bicycle, a secluded & cozy area, not be to be disturbed by anyone in the morning. We also employed her to irritate my granny, we’d place her on her shoulder & she’d freak out. Her droppings were all over the house, on the bed, on dad’s lungi & of course our hands. But her cuteness more than compensated for this hassle, more so a little discomfort. However, our little companion could stay with us for a short stint of 25 days only, as one morning we didn’t find her in her nest, rather her feathers were strewn around it and we realized the dreadful end to her life, that night I forgot to place the lid over her nest & she became prey to a cat that would hog at our place in odd times. It’s been more than 20yrs since we found & lost Piki, but in the mundaneness of life she stills brings a smile and a little regret, what if I hadn’t forgotten to close the lid, what if the cat hadn’t turned up that day but also what if the baby sparrow didn’t get hurt & fall that day, what if the sparrow never laid her eggs in our ceiling cavity. There are ifs in both sides, so after all this while every time I feel sad for her loss but also glad that we could enjoy her.

We worked closely in undergrad. I was a bit of a brat and an awkward introverted young college kid who had no clue about the real world but there was no disrespect. We have a lot in common. She was perhaps the biggest influence and the only upper division prof I worked with for the majority of my degree.
I was thinking about reaching out to her now that the spring semester is coming to an end and asking about perhaps meeting up for lunch? We both travel to NYC during the summers so I was thinking it would be fun to meet up over a casual meal or activity.
Thoughts?? Is it presumptuous to reach out after all this time? The reason why I haven’t stayed in touch is because I moved states far away from where I went to undergrad and my life did a 180. Also, I needed time after my degree to live my life and find my own voice. I’d honestly love to reconnect again if only to tell her that I appreciate her so much in hindsight.
Thank you!
Edit: I was a good student, graduated Magna Cum Laude.
Edit again: My mom was a professor and seems to think that it’s okay to reach out as well as to make sure 2 of 3 of my recs are recent. She said that it’s common for students and profs to not maintain contact after graduating but it’s not egregious to ask an undergrad professor who had an impact on your growth and research. So we’ll see.
Final edit: My professor responded that she would be happy to write a letter and that she remembers my final project. : ) She’s very busy and is the head of the division so she is not available to be an advisor. When the time comes, I will supply my fully updated portfolio, statement of purpose and some key professional achievements to help with the letter. I think our travel dates might align so I’m planning on meeting in person to catch up. I’ll have a major body of work / series completed, which I’m both nervous and stoked on showing her. She never coddled students so I respect her insight very much.

2018 boy here. Watching the archives and saved these for making media share vids. Wanted to share with you all. Enjoy. Thanks for everything Wubby and crew. Feel better Wubby.
Wubby talking about an ex girlfriend, her wanting to put things in his ass. “My butthole is a one way street my man.” (maybe use with future streams, out of context clip)
Someone makes a dono asking for wubby cups, Whats a wubby cup? (maybe use with a future gamer supps clip)
Wubby says imagine being 34, that’s old as shit (save for when hes 34)
Wubby asks kid if he pooped his pants and describe it
Wubby asks if he looks good without glasses (before tiny eyes meme) no one spamming tiny eyes in chat
------- https://youtu.be/nVwKgyzaSYs?si=QaoQWCwfvjM70sd5&t=11976 (haircut stream, no glasses wubby, pre tiny eyes, still no tiny eye meme)
Wubby says one of his goals is to have ice come out of his fridge
Iconic. wubby doing the mod tier list, “oooohoh wwooowo owowoo oh fuck what was that?!” clip
Wubby talking about woman that has rabies when he was in the hospital. he stands up, pulls shorts down, still has green suit on (skip to 51:40 for more)
Leg wax stream. Alluux washes wubbys legs. (use for out of context)
Maybe a mod can help with this one. VPN doesnt work. Wubby super highpitch girly giggle (banned in the US now? Wasn’t like 2 months ago)
Wubby gets a bunch of $100 dono’s, pours booze in his mouth and spits it upwards and all over himself
Wubby gets even more huge dono’s, does a heroic speech, does a wedgie with his pants/green suit. “words are hard clip”
More big dono’s, running out of funny bits for chat, tosses gong, takes his pants off
Ploot.
Wubby interviews a 15 year old. Plays Marvin Gaye.
Wubby does fill kid Friday starwars bit, says he will not be using the force on a child today, cuz star wars
Wubby explains the kind of porn he wants to see. “poison from dick to butthole, only cure is her tongue”
Whole clip is so rough, fill kid with the girl from next clip. Shes 15.
He asks how old she is and dies inside
Wubby has green screen on, takes off his shorts, looks funny af, PP jingle
Media share, KealPlays donated a cameo of Chris Hanson to wubby
Wubby tells future wubby that hes gay and to quit denying it
Wubby 2019 birthday, has suit on, says “yoink, cover that belly up” stupid funny laughs. Wubby 2019 birthday, has suit on, says “yoink, cover that belly up” stupid funny laughs.
Wubby takes a swig of booze, spits it all over himself again
He gets a dono that says stop peaking your mic, wubby drunk af, talks into his mic peaking super loud for a minute straight. Chat livid. (VOLUME WARNING)
Wubby birthday stream, drunk, shows a sacred forbidden video of him lighting sparkler fireworks and he says “im a white girl, I like black dick” to the camera
Favorite - Wubby wasted dancing to song, trying to set up his decorations, one side falls, he turns around to set the other, first falls, then second, over and over. Yells “what the fuck is going on” (in my top 5 favorite wubby moments)
Wubby plays sub train, stands up, takes shorts off, dances with green screen on, PP swingin
Wubby talking about his dirty chair, shows chat, chat says cum stains, he says when he cums, he catches it all in his mouth, does funny ass trance thing
Wubby gets a dono from Frenchie that says “kiss me-“ he insta kisses before the dono finishes then it says “im 12”. Wubby yells “fuck you dude”
Wubby talking about where hes moving, super long drum roll, says San Diego
Wubby jizzed and killed a Finch story. Few minutes later, the term “wub cub” was born. Few after that “radar” outfit for twitch con. He says Mulan story but changes to finch story.
Wubby throws tiny hand at gong, hits bullseye, also wubby titty.
(VOLUME WARNING) Wubby lowers cost of “stay positive wubby” to 10 cents and chat spams it
Wubby talks about his room smelling like shit, its probably his chair, can use this for an out of context clip
Alluux makes 14 month (in 2019) dono about wearing diapers and stuff. Wubby says “get it out dude. Oh wait, was that allux? That’s why it was so sweet”
Wubby goes off about women putting cucumbers up their pussies, eventually says “how you gonna fuck a spectrum remote?”
Wubby does weird ass yoga and tases the gong (doesn’t do anything but had to try it) (few minutes of this is good but 14:39 in is funny af)
Cheeto hasn’t been feeling good, sitting outside wubbys room. Calls him in, cute af, the little arm twitch before he runs is the best
Wubby fades out his image, yells into mic if chat can see him, then he yells “I don’t have much time” as his voice fades away. Few mins before this, this all began we he watched a dude fuck a dog. But can use this out of context
Classic wubby screenshot. Laying down in his chaigreen suit, with his crocks in the hair, ass off screen.
Wubby says he’s looking lean, looking cut, raises the camera more and more so you can only see the top of his head.
Wubby talking about the Toronto meet up. Talking about how a chick said “shes going to meet up with her BF” then wubby fades away.
Wubby doing a heroic speech in just green screen suit. Does the “NYA NYA NYA NYA” meme thing.
Wubbys porn tier list. Incest porn. Makes imaginary story about step mom and step sister. Whole thing funny, at the end he says “youre so much bigger than your father!”
Big dono’s, we live in a society speech, strips with green screen suit on, hits the gong with his PP
Feel good clip one. Goes with next clip, wubby getting mad dono’s, makes goofy analogy, gets cute emotional with chat
Feel good clip two - “the stadium is full of lava, and the lava is full of love” context: he was getting tons of donos. earlier he said everyone is in a stadium, he has the mic and hes going to list off names and wants chat to scream and cheer in chat. Gets more dono’s, fake tases himself
Feel good - wubby talking about the rocks inspirational speech
Feel good - wubby talking about the rocks speech, saying he felt like a failure when he only got 500 views but when he really failed was when he gave up.
Wubby saying that the speech he just gave will resonate with atleast one person and that makes him happy.
2019 skinny wubby!
Favorite - Speed dating, german girl says “oh daddy” in german. Context: question was what porn category they didn’t agree with. Talking about incest porn. (stream before this was porn tier list.)
Speed dating, chick into fashion, wubby asks her if the guy were to stand up, could she tell him a better outfit, he stands up, has bullet proof vest on and red/black plaid pajamas on
Wubby playing mario sunshine, bets his twitch that he’ll hit a star, if he doesn’t, he deletes his twitch.
Wubby talks about how he blows his grandpa everyday
Mario sunshine. Wubby bets his stream again.
Wubby talking about if someone puts a finger in your ass
Wubby talks about AI driven sex robot in 2019 (relates to today maybe)
Wubby talking about the ending of breaking bad. The beginning of his bad takes
Sub train wubby wail
Giant german donates a shit ton of subs, wubby humps the camera
Wubby watches the wubby wail clip, laughs, at the end it plays a tiny clip of mario sunshine, he jump scares thinking it’s a naughty clip
Wubby watches him humping the camera, he listens closely, can hear his nuts slap
Twitch getting DDoS’d, wubby ending stream, blue wubby bit
Favorite memory of mine - This song played a lot at start of streams, chat asks what it is never answers, one of my earliest memories of wubby. ---- https://youtu.be/E4x6HJS2wn4?si=p0LJV4pVhm9-oOYW
Major hype, tons of huge dono’s from people, and then this is the first video of media share
Super wholesome community video. Keep watching after the first video ends for a second. Need more like this. Wubby was baited by the luigi
Wubby shits himself on stream
Wubby looking at animorph books. Says one looks like Peanut
Wubby driving, asks if chat wants to hear an orgasm sound, he hits the brakes and makes alluux scream
Wubby driving and TT adds sassy cop to his window
IMO, the cringiest wubby moment ever - (lowbit rate moment but you still get it) Wubby driving to the escape room with alluux and hes trying to find it, going through a alley and he just stops and stares down some guys. low bitrate moment, then awkwardness,
Escape room with alluux. Wubby gropes a mannequin.
Escape room. Wubby tells alluux to go inside a room, he watches on camera. Calls her a monkey cuz shes hopping around
Sub train. Giant german donates 100. Wubby blind throws a baseball bat over his shoulder and hits the gong.
Wubby asks hair salon lady to wash his hair, he says it really bad, she asks how long its been, he beats around the bush, he offers $100, she wants to cut the sides first, changes the subject to how he wants his hair done
(some muted spots, volume warning when you see the dragons) First stream after 2019 twitch con. Wubby does a top tier intro bit.
Carlos the gardener (with some of Jevins footage) made a compilation of wubbys stream. Had some twitch con clips. Met ash and few others for the first time. Wubby gets emotional.
Wubby talking about checking out new houses, shits in the bathroom to test the toilet, chat tells him to get a bidet, wubby says “a what? A BID-IT?”
Wubby shaving his beard to mutton chops, dono comes in that says “I know you wont see this but I love you” wubby responds by fake waking off and drooling
Double chin mutton chop wubby
Sub train, wubby shoots his paintball gun at his wall and draws a penis.
Wubby dancing with his green screen on and shorts down again to “drop it likes its hot”
Start of stream, wait screen is on, song playing, certain part of the song hits, wubby turns on cam and does retard goofy face and claps, with double chin
(fun fact, first 90 day stream) Wubbys dono’s got botched earlier, some replaying, this dono about wubby raiding last stream plays for a second time so wubby makes a funny, yelling at him as if he was mad about repeating the dono but actually complementing him
Wubby lost to the Wheel of Bad, alluux spanks him with a spatula
Another spanking, but with shitty eyebrows
Wubby shoots his camera while its on with a paintball gun
(NSFW click)Wubby got mad dono’s so he plays a twerk video for his chat, chick twerking, wubby pauses it, drags his image to her butt and sniffs.
(NSFW click) Same clip, wubby pauses while saying “if shes 15” at a super revealing part, he says hold on, unpauses to change the image. Eventually says “prison is just a room”
(NSFW click) Dude twerking this time, wubby tells chat a good way to bait him, crop the video and play it on mediashare, he’ll think it’s a chick, then zoom out.
Wubby talking about how dick size determines whether you can get women or not, disses himself good.
Wubby talking about his sex doll, makes the “pbk pbk pbk, fucking cums everywhere” thing. Keep watching and hes talking about flushing her vag out with a hydroflask/Gatorade bottle.
Wubby has to get spanked by alluux, she walks in with the biggest grin on her face, he turns music off, volume up, gain up, stares RIGHT at the camera, gets spanked, moans.
Wubby being goofy. Previous stream, he was watching twerk videos and he sniffed one of the chicks butt, his rep said he might get banned, rep came back and said just a warning, wubby talks about it on stream, as his talking, he takes his sub counter on screen and blows it up huge while talking
Wubby singing to a song “got a squirt gun, gonna point it at the squirt son(?), make my mom, squirt it on her only son” then awkward funny face
Start of stream, wubby turns off the BRB screen, fakes hes on the phone with another streaming platform, says "I can give up being a partner, I can give up twitch, but its gonna be 7 digits, 5 year contract, I don’t have any loyalty, with shroud gone…” then fakes noticing stream is watching
Wubby fucking PUMPED, first stream in new house, got a 100 gifted sub dono, does funny dance, shoots gong with paintball gun with no eviction notice
His dryer broke, wubby tells his dad hes doing laundry at his house, his dad says “okay bring your green screen suit” wubby says his dad wants to be one of the boys. Maybe use this clip with a few clips that his dad is in later.
Wubby talks about doing a price is right (scuffed) stream for the first time. Maybe use this with another clip
Someone donates another language version of Rap COD, fat guy in the video, wubby says “yall are gonna make me do it, my body type is not that fat” changes his cam view to just his head but you can see him in the mirror
Wubby hyping up stream for Halloween, says “it’s the day before Halloween! Its so easy as a pedophile…” and goes quiet and awkward

Wubby says he said the same thing hes about to say when this song by Eminem came out. “if Eminem calls you a goof, its over for you” (Idea: play this video again and see what he says.)
Wubby shoots near alluux with a paintball gun
Wubby dancing to Michael Jackson, has green screen on, his cam is showing up on his stomach so you see his head, he looks down, opens his mouth like hes sucking his dick
Wubby talking about no nut November, he says bunch of funny shit. “they’re gonna call me young gallows”
Wubby taps his mic on his chin really fast and it sounds glitchy as fuck
Wubby talking about the first price is scuffed. It just makes me warm and fuzzy inside. Im so proud of him.
Price is scuffed 1, contestant won, delayed winning sound effect funny
Same contestant wins some money, wubby offers her $200/$300 to change her reward to opening a box of his with a prize, she chooses the box, its lactate, she tells wubby he can keep it.
Price is scuffed 1 commercials, Handsome boi Peanuts commercial
Price is scuffed 1. Wubby wants to spin, changes him mind and has alluux do it, she spins and contestant wins $1000 dollars, alluux says “is anyone hiring”
Wubby talks about how he went to dinner with some streamers and twitch staff and had to leave early and sushidragon called him out on his stream so Wubby called him out on price is scuffed 1
Wubby has a good take on Joker.
Wubby was tossing back and forth the idea of getting a pornstar for an interview in a hottub, he DM’d Reily Reid and botched his message, “hey. Wanna come show? Hottub (answer question?) wrong pornstar lol? You? How it be?”
Just a crazy watch. Wubby had a youtube video and he wanted to put this guy in it but chose not to, instead he talked about it on stream, the wiafu pillow guy, managed to interview the guy live on stream. Goes for about 2 hours 11 mins to around 3 hours 15 mins in.
Wubby reveals his first tattoo
Lil Cheeto having some health issues but wubby being a champ and taking care of him, spending stream talking about him, shows clip of him holding Cheeto up as a lil boi and doing the lion king thingy
Someone makes a dono about being depressed, wubby makes a joke and says the cure to depression is “just be happy”, triggers some people in chat, use for out of context
Wubby and Alluux takes chat on a date, two perfectly lined dono’s, one asks to marry him, another asks to hold his hand, plays “that’s amore”, alluux holds out her hand like its chats
Date with chat, chat wants half a tendie and milk to go, wubby opens the to go box to find the half strip in there, funny af
Wubby clown skit, some muted audio at the start, Twitch shut down and banned wubby for his live stream in the restaurant, 5 days, then sent him an email saying they were wrong, wubby set up a skit where he dresses as a clown, some context: alluux comes out with cleavage because of the twitch streamers with there asses hanging out but don’t get banned, then there was that other twitch streamer that fed vodka to her cat and didn’t get banned, cant remember what the baby was about, also, on the phone call when wubby says “just two sentences”, hes talking about how his response from twitch was very short
Wubby bought chat cake for his 200k sub milestone, does a skit, drops lots of cake
Wubby explains and demonstrates how he poops and wipes
Someone dono’s that dragonball Z song, wubby hypes it up huge and it ends right before the build up
The iconic meme, wubby sits deep back into his chair and sticks his feet up at the cam
Amazing wubby laugh, chat goes Christmas shopping, chat tells him to read comments/reviews on sugar free gummy bears, wubby laughs super hard
Wubby says if you have a big clit, suck it like a baby dick
Someone plays a clip of wubbys favorite 16 year old, he drags his head to her at times it perfect, she says “we all know dennis hides kids in his basement, don’t you dennis?”
Wubby tells an emotional story of him playing some games with his friends and they heard him shit his pants, he lied, and destroyed a blanket, he plays the audio clip, you can hear it clear as day over the mic/discord
Wubby talking about how hes never had a wet dream, says unless his brother crawled into his bed and gobbled it up.
Wubby does a PO box, someone sent him a lifesize danny devito, sets it up behind him, he turns around and it scared him
Wubby and alluux in NYC, wubby calls Carolyn cornsnatch, super funny youtuber, tiktoker, etc, asks to hang out, he texts her “are you with your parents”
Carlos pays a slap, wubby kills a mini boss for calros, dark souls
Wubby asking chat to not be assholes with crowd control and reset the whole game, someone resets it
My dono: I used stopdrinking a lot and my name was u/wubbysandwubbysonly, I made a post and a random person made a wholesome comment to me and ended it with “wubby7” blew my mind - still sober
Wubby giving a speech to chat, hes back to where he was earlier (2 links above)
Priced is scuff 2 intro
Priced is scuff, wubby just being a goof, some context: synapse is sponsoring and twitch asked wubby to be pg-13/not cuss, wubby being wubby doing a little strip dance. Keep watching till after the Synapse add, funny bit with wub, midget and alluux, keep watching again, wubby and alluux do a cute dance to xmas music
Wubby sings rap cod
Wubby does Twitch Sings, sings freeze a poop and put it in my ass,
Carlosthegardener and wubby do twitch sings
Last stream of 2019, first time wubby talks about HP
Wubby shows the dopest piece of art that Alluux got commissioned for him

This is the dumbest thing I've had to deal with. My mom decided to go back to college a couple years back. As everyone else deals with, she had one particular professor she didn't vibe with. My mom is also a particularly difficult person to deal with (easily angered, always thinks she's right). The whole issue was that my mom's GPA went from a 3.6 to a 3.535 because the professor gave her a B instead of an A. Part of the cause was that my mom missed something worth 10% of the grade, and my mom's main reasoning was, "Why would I have to do that? That's so stupid." The thing is, that wasn't the only B she got that semester, but it's the only B she's trying to fight.
Now, she walked the stage May 2023, and it's now almost May 2024. She refuses to actually graduate/get her diploma until they "fix" her GPA all because she wants to be magna cum laude and not just cum laude. That's it. It's ONLY for the Latin honorary title. Nothing else. And for the past couple of months, she has appealed the grade in the class, as well as another grade she got later on from the same professor which was an A-, claiming it was "discrimination," and that the professor did it on purpose to "get her." Her appeal got rejected, and she's trying to do it again, threatening to go to the news (???).
I'm at a loss here. I know it's not my problem, but it's genuinely embarrassing, and she keeps bringing my name into it with the professor because I met the professor and do agree she's a b (she even tried to joke I was doing my mom's homework which I wasn't). What's funny is -- even if she got an A instead of a B, her GPA would be a 3.598. AND COLLEGE DOESNT ROUND UP. SO SHE STILL WOULDN'T GET IT.
I don't know what to do.

I recently started watching the videos of Dr. Alok Kanojia, and I think I have identified with some cases, that's why I have been encouraged to tell my story. I never saw much use in going to a psychologist or psychiatrist but they always told me so and it wasn't until I felt lost and alone that I decided to give it a try... of course, despite having tried several times I feel that I didn't find the right person.
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I don't really know how to explain my case, I could say that it is between having a lack of success in the dating area with doubts about my own gender, I was always a very shy person, I didn't have friends and practically most of my school years were spent at school and when I got home studying or playing video games. I could not really say that it was the typical normal development of reaching adolescence to go out with friends, flirt with women ... if not quite the opposite to be in my house and little else.
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Also my earliest memories are of a few times I was made comments about mannerisms I was doing that were associated with women (this was when I was a kid but I think my mind is kind of wanting to connect everything) I remember discovering porn very young and I don't know what impact it had. At first I watched normal porn but as time went on a part of me imagined what it would be like to be a woman and have more of that role and see myself that way.
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Then when I was 15-16 years old I was sometimes turned on by men when I saw them naked but beyond that I was mainly attracted to women. The truth is that when I was studying I only talked to male classmates in my school, almost little to say nothing with women.
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My mom always told me that if I was gay that nothing would happen and sometimes she would make comments like “look at that handsome boy”. To tell you the truth I didn't know how to feel, since I think part of the reason was that I didn't know how to pick up women, nor did I know what to do, and I guess my own social isolation didn't help either.
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I must say that I lost my virginity with a prostitute something that I am not very proud of but the truth is that I did not know how to flirt, that women do not take the step and well I lost it around the age of 21
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Some time later I moved to another country and I noticed that I was a little more attractive to women, I tried to be with several of them so many of them were not even attractive to me. The result was many experiences but I also realized that it was hard for me to maintain an erection (I do not know if it was because of nerves or what) and I had premature ejaculation ... added to a problem of hematospermia (blood when I cum) that I tried to fix but the doctors could not  and to top it off they told me that I was infertile.
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I could say that 98% of the women rejected me because they said I had too much feminine energy .... These comments made me feel like crap, and my mind put that together with previous experiences, my mother's comments, and my health problems in the sexual area added to the curiosity I once felt about what it would be like to be a woman and the times I got turned on by seeing a man (basically my mind dropped the idea that you are not worth as a man but maybe being a woman is your thing...after all many things come together) there I was alone, no friends and not really knowing what was happening to me
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After that I tried to have sex with men, I would say about 8 times in total. Most of them I could say that 50%-60% were kisses that they gave me or oral sex that I did but in the end I did not feel good and I left without finishing having sex.
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Of the ones that penetrated me I would say that there was one that made me cum and the rest because of the pain I would leave and go home.
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It felt a little weird because in those moments I did not enjoy it but 3-4 days went by and when my mind imagined it was like it gave him morbid and excited me. I couldn't really understand it.
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What I take away from these experiences is the rejection and disgust I felt hugging, kissing men, or simply affectionate questions but then the part of being penetrated or being dominated I enjoyed.
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On the other hand with women, although not with all of them I can say that I liked the kisses, the affectionate part but when it came to maintain the erection I failed or I would cum soon (which made me feel shitty and the girls didn't take it well) maybe less with one... a very understanding girl who even offered to give me massages to relax me (and thanks to that we could do more things) but the times I could penetrate someone I felt like weird is hard to explain.
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In general if there was something in common with men and women it was the discomfort I had when they tried to grab my penis or a girl gave me oral sex.
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Then I went to a place where they gave me women's clothes and a make-up artist made me up to look like a woman, and well the make-up artist said that my face had many feminine features. ....
When he finished his work and saw me with my makeup on... far from a sexual arousal I liked the image (to tell the truth I was not sure I wanted to do it... and I must admit that I looked better than I expected in the mirror) in turn the sensations were like I liked it, less stress, or anxiety .... I don't know it was a weird feeling
I showed the pictures to a girl, a girl who initially attracted me but it wasn't very reciprocal, and in the end, we ended up being friends and getting to know each other a bit more.
She told me I looked very pretty and feminine and that if I wanted, one day I could go out with her dressed as a woman, like she does with her friends one night (I felt attractive as a woman and I liked that connection of friendship and sincerity) but my crazy mind played tricks on me saying, look, even as a woman, you have an easier time relating to women, this girl already sees you more as one of her female friends but as a man, she didn't pay as much attention to you.
Should I strive to appear more masculine? I don't know, maybe work out, get surgery to have more masculine facial features, have a rougher behavior to fit in with that?
Or should I just go with the flow and want to be a real woman?"
And now, after all this... I'm left questioning: am I gay? Transsexual? Why did I feel comfortable like this? Why couldn't I just have something normal? The truth is, since I was little, I was always told I was weird, and I feel like this is just another thing to add to the list.
I'm uncertain if this will even be seen or answered. I would be willing to pay for a consultation, though I'm unsure if the person providing it speaks Spanish, as my spoken English isn't fluent enough for me to express myself like this.

Hi, this is a throw away obviously, I’m on my phone so formatting might be weird, I also am just going to kind of… word vomit. I need to write this down somewhere…
I’m a 27yo nonbinary person. I was born female. I’m also autistic. From a young age I always was developmentally behind, and I’m pretty sure everyone around me knew it… and often would take advantage of it.
In middle school I had 3 different abusers who SAed me in different ways… and one of them was my brother. I was in the 6th grade when I first found him masterbating in the living room. He was watching porn on the family computer when my mom was at work, and had me sit and watch it with him. He is a year and a half older than I am, but like I said, I was very much younger mentally, so I didn’t really understand.
Then he started to ‘teach me’ things like what to touch on yourself, on other people… we would play ‘games’ like naked dance party or super spy where my spy character would be captured by his villain and stripped and touched… he penetrated my ass multiple times and even came in it a few times… I didn’t understand but I knew cum=pregnant so I was terrified for months after… but we just kept ‘playing’ for most of my 6th and 7th grade years, I honestly don’t fully remember when it actually stopped, but I know it wasn’t happening when I went into my freshman year of high school.
I never told anyone… ever. My brother and I are really close as adults, we play video games together online, we talk often, and he was the first person I came out to as trans, and he accepted me immediately, he’s always been my biggest supporter… and we both act like it never happened… he’s married now, and lives several states away, but I do see him around holidays and never feel uncomfortable or weird or anything, it’s like the boy who did that to me doesn’t exist anymore and I’m ok with that, I thought I had moved past it.
But a few nights ago… I had a dream about him, and it was disgusting and sexual in nature and when I woke up I wanted to vomit… but I also woke up… wet. If that makes sense… I don’t ever ever want to be in that situation with my brother, he is my brother and that is all he ever will be to me, but that dream it was just… messed up… and now I can’t get it out of my head…
What’s wrong with me?

These are the details:

1. I've never been a straight A student my whole life. All I wanted was for a clean fucking slate, and my fuckface, dickwad father manipulated me and gaslighted me into attending some bigoted, faggot medical school which I ending up hating all throughout.
2. My whole college career was terrible from start to finish. I've had the worst grades imaginable despite being the hardest worker in the entire fucking college, bar none. I was even saddled with the absolute worst cum-burping, bastard teachers imaginable (and I still am). I got the worst treatment imaginable from all these bastards and bitches.
3. I work 53 hours a week with no pay for a government hospital. Such bullshit!
4. My dad chuckles over fucking me over and screwing multiple times knowing very well I didn't want to partake in whatever the fuck he wanted. He screwed me over in all 3 professional exams and he giggles about it despite forcing me to take them against my own will. Both my candy-ass, motherfucking shitstain parents bribed me with food and forced me to take the professional exams.
5. I was always accused of not studying by my GOD-AWFUL fucking asswipe mother who didn't do jack fucking shit to help me out when I needed her, and by my teachers who didn't do fucking shit at all to help me out despite them getting a job as teachers. Why in the hell are you even fucking working when you don't want to someone like me? To make matters worse, my mom betrayed me and sold me out to this fucking cunt professor who intentionally pended my exams and made defamatory remarks, even though I passed them. My mom told this fucking cunt professor what I do in my spare time and believed every lie that bitch told her.
6. My fuckface parents didn't let me play sports when I requested and begged them to play sports so I can get better at it. As a result, I never got to play high school sports because of his dickwad ass.
7. I didn't get an Intermediate School Honor Roll sticker.
8. I didn't make it to Talent Pool.
9. I was forced to take classes in Special Ed over some stupid, bogus reason.
10. Back in 7th Grade, all the jocks laughed at me and made fun of me for not making it to the basketball team.
11. Back in 8th Grade, I didn't make it to NJHS, and I was ultimately dubbed a loser. Hell, I even made all As & Bs and I didn't get my name put on the school's honor roll list on the school's bulletin board.
12. Back in 9th Grade, I didn't get recommended for AP Biology, and I was absolutely terrible as a student at the time.
13. Back in 11th Grade, my high school choir teacher made the decision not to take me to contest without giving me a specific reason as to why she won't. As a result, all the choir students ignored me and made fun of me, especially those jabroni freshmen.
14. I didn't do well in a single AP class, and my AP History himself said that I was never going to make it to Top 10%, even though I wasn't trying to make it to Top 10%. Such bullshit!
15. I was never part of GT. I took the test, but I didn't pass though. My quantitative score was excellent, my qualitative score was average, and my questionnaire score was low.
16. If I suck at something or if I make a mistake, my parents belittle, disrespect, get mad, get pissed off and abuse me instead of having constructive discussions about where I went wrong. How much more fucking stupid and fucking dumb can one get? They even treated me like shit when I was in depression. When I was in depression, I was accused of trying to get attention after I reached out.
17. I didn't get too many awards, and I was always saddled with garbage.
18. I fucked up in AcaDec (and this was genuinely my fault).
19. Every time I asked help from my parents, they either got pissed off at me or ignored me or wasted more of time and delayed production.
20. I didn't get to go to a single High School dance to hang out with my friends. WTF??? It's none of my parents' business.
21. I didn't get to participate in my High School's Debate team.
22. Aside from teaching (which I was pretty good at), I didn't get to have a job all because of my fuckface parents.
23. I didn't get to beat the FUCK out of anybody who I wanted to beat the FUCK out of, because all of them are a bunch of hypocrite pussies.
24. I've never participated in martial arts, let alone get a black belt/sash/armband.
25. I don't even know how to ride a bike all because of shitstain himself.
26. I barely got invites to parties back in High School, and I didn't get to go even though I wanted to.
27. I never swept the TAKS tests cleanly unlike some of my other peers. I was always disinterested in English, even though everybody thought I was a retard for being disinterested in English. I liked Math & Social Studies though.
28. I didn't get to have a letterman's jacket.
29. I was very unpopular back in High School, and I still am despite disappearing for 11 years and returning as a very different person.
30. I've never placed a single exam in my life and career even though I wish I did. Such bullshit! I'm constantly under-graded despite outworking everyone.
31. I was horrible in Forensic Medicine even though I REALLY wanted to be good in it.
32. I NEVER passed every subject at once the whole time I was in Med School.
33. I never got to be a YouTube moderator nor kickstart my YouTube channel.
34. I didn't win the local chess tournament in my High School.
35. I was NEVER a talented artist, and I always had strange handwriting.
36. I always get stronger, but I never build muscle. What in the blue hell is up with that?
37. And last but not least, not a single person stood by my side especially during all my bad times.

After all my hard work and dedication, I still don't get whatever I want and am always treated like shit.

Middle child here, with two half-siblings. One older, one younger.
I’ve never been a trouble child. I do my best in school, I stay away from alcohol and late-night gimmicks, I have relatively good grades, and I believe myself to be of good character. Mom says I’m her pride and joy. But my dad..
My dad never held me at a high regard. I was the least of his priorities. My two half-siblings get everything they want. Should they want a new car (kahit na kabibili lang nila ng bago a year ago), todo bigay yung dad ko sa kanila. I rarely ask for gifts from my dad but for some reason, he finds a way to shut down any requests that I may have. I once asked to buy a jacket from terranova. He said, “di mo naman kailangan yan.” Yung mga kapatid ko, hala, sige, bigay lang siya ng bigay ng mga gusto nila kahit gaano kamahal. I think they have 2 cars each.
Things came to a head recently. Last yr ako grumaduate at nakapasa sa licensure exam. Saka inantay ko kasi siyang gumaling at bumalik sa dati niyang lakas especially since he was hospitalized. Ngayon lang ako nanghingi ng grad gift: A US Trip kasi, may papanoorin akong show. Apparently nagcomplain pa raw siya sa mom ko, “wala ba nung play na yan dito sa Pinas?” And when I requested for the gift from him, inask ko pa if g siya. Ang sagot niya sa akin was “may choice ba ako? Sige nga. Sabihin mo sa akin kung kailan kita tinanggihan. Wala kang masabi? Kasi di naman kita tinanggihan.” It was a false statement. Anyway..
He paid for my tickets to and from los angeles. However, he knew I had to fly to Berkeley for a show. I told him about it. Sineen lang ako.. my mom told me that in the same phone call na nagcomplain siya about my request, nagyabang siya about certain business investments.
He can never convince me na short siya on cash. Mind you, this guy is fucking rich. He owns businesses left and right. He has 4 houses in many different cities. He owns a hospital. He hands out money in big bags. He gives everything my siblings ask for. I ask for stuff once in a blue moon and it’s either he shuts me down or he complies halfheartedly.
On the other hand, my mom isn’t as rich as he is..
He just hates me for no reason at all. People have said I’m a model child. I graduated magna cum laude for a degree that my dad forced me to take up. I passed a licensure exam in the same discipline as the degree he forced me to take. I do well in law school. Highest ako sa dalawang subjects nung prelims. I almost made it into the dean’s list last sem.
I’ve been crying since last night bec im tired of having to adjust to his attitude. My patience can only do so much. He’s been like this ever since I was a child. I’ve missed a lot of opportunities dahil sa pagtanggi niya. I don’t want to give up the dream of watching a musical overseas just bec he refuses to give the amount he can freely give.
Di na ako makafocus. I need to study pero ang sakit ng dibdib ko kaiiyak.. yung utak ko di matahimik..

I will try to sum it up quickly
I matched with this girl 2 days ago and tdy she added me on instagram the first message I sent is are you trying to Smth rn keep in mind it’s 7 am.
She was down, we were supposed to go out and then I would drop her at her uni at 10am. But she told me her place is free so I was like can I just pu to urs and she was fine with it.
I pu to her place and I don’t wanna shame but her place was hella dirty and she was overweight. I honestly didn’t think I was gonna fuck her but we go to her room and I was like fuck it I gotta end the dry streak somehow ( haven’t had sex in like 8 months )
She was hella down even though she said she didn’t expect to have sex.
So here comes the embarrassing part. I didn’t have a condom and I can never last without a condom. I put it in and like 6 thrusts in I cum all over her chest and face ☠️. I felt hella embarrassed.
She was like do you wanna do it again. ATP post nut clarity hit and it was telling me to RUN. I told her maybe she should take a shower first and get ready for uni and see if I get hard again by then.
She says ok. Then while she taking a shower I took my shit snuck out and bolted 24 floors down instead of taking the elevator cuz I had sm adrenaline. And I instantly blocked her when I got to my car.
The even more fkd up part is her mom usually takes her to uni or she gives her money for taxi and she didn’t give her cash and she left already. So this girl had noway to get to class.
I just can’t imagine how she felt opening the door and not finding me.
TL;DR: I fucked a girl and snuck out of her place when I was her only ride to school.

i bought the south park vinyl and noticed i had copy 4022 out of 4000. does this mean anything?

1. If you are 5 foot 8 or below, society mocks you for it and always says you have a syndrome. When you are at that height, men will call you "short king," yet at the same time insult you, and women are even worse. 80 percent will reject you based solely on your height before even getting to the face. Oh, what a great joy! Oh, what a rape culture! What a patriarchy! What an unfair, biased system that favors men! Oh, the horror! Oh, the suspense! Oh, the cruelty!
2. If you're ugly, there is 0 fucking hope for you without plastic surgery. Society constantly mocks you, men and women. And unlike ugly women, you have nothing, not even scraps. Even ugly women can get good-looking men; they aren't all Chads, but they are in the good-looking range, which is the typical 1 in 4 range.

Women don't even rate men on a bell curve, which you would expect, as that is the metric scale we use for IQ, height, penis, or whatever metric. But when it comes to women, the bell curve is applied inconsistently. Men rate women on average an 8, while women rate men on average a 3 to 2. Again, what a great, awesome, fantastic privilege of being a man! And if you complain, everyone, including dudes on this sub, will write, "Oh, it's just in your head, bro. Get off dating apps. Just go outside, approach 60 trillion women, and then hope, hope that she gets into a relationship with you. Just pray for those few specks of pussy crust. Just get 'rizz.' Just go MGTOW, bro. Women ain't nothing but sluts." Well, unfortunately, there is no MGTOW for your brain. Your brain is innately wired to be attracted to women. It's like telling a car to go without its wheels. You can't even operate the fucking vehicle without the wheels; it can't even get balls rolling. And women find the average man to be fucking disgusting. What do you think happens if you approach as a sub-good-looking male? You get the police rolled on you. Again, such a great privilege of being a man.
​

1. If you are a person who has sexual desires, who never asked for them, never was consulted by them, never was even given an option for them, and you want to go MGTOW, your brain will constantly be going to war with you. Plastic surgery, leg lengthening, and every form of "looksmaxxing" has now gone mainstream; it's the normal thing now. Trust me, I would love to go MGTOW. I love the lone wolf lifestyle. Who wants to be shackled to the burdens of evolution rearing you to its casual desires? Who the fuck wants this? And then women have the gall to tell you, "Oh, you don't deserve anything." Well, to those women, I say, "You're right, I don't. It doesn't matter if you like me or not. Unfortunately, what I do deserve is the ability to change the neural wirings in my brain so I'm not attracted to women." It's not a big ask, right? Like women want to fuck Chad; I'm more than happy for them to do that. But why is nature punishing me for that? Like if they want to make their bed in hell, let them. Why involve me third-hand by giving me sexual desires? Again, what a great fucking privilege being a man! I'm just jumping for joy.
2. Any complaints you have about your dating history, the fact that you have to wife up some used cum dumpster cause I know you know the options women have in this day and age, and anything you may have even the slightest complaints about, that is all swept aside, ignored, or if it gets too big, the algorithm, Reddit, and everyone silences it.

Again, it's so great to be a male, guys. I truly am thankful every single day my mom had sex with my dad and created me. I asked for these sexual desires, and women owe me not one thing, even though I can't get rid of them based on every study I have ever read. It isn't a fucking choice; we are not a species driven by socialization. We are a species guided solely by our genetics. But again, in society's eyes, I chose this path; you chose your path, even though most of it, again, is reared by women and guided by women, as women guide sexual selection and hence the next generation. I'm really fucking tired of this crap. I'm done. I don't want any more of this crap anymore. I'd rather just get rid of all of it, but like all things in life, the things that matter.
​
You may ask why I posted here? What is the point if it's all doom and gloom? For one reason only - men need coping mechanisms to get shit out of their system. This is my coping mechanism because I'm not going to a therapist. Most guys here are better therapists. It's better the devil you know than the devil you don't, and even those who reject the black pill here are aware of the problem that is plaguing society. Society and therapists, especially, are not.
What are therapists going to say anyway? "Oh, just get confidence, bro. You're a handsome lad. Just get a shower, trim your beard, go to the gym."
I wish that advice worked maybe 20 years ago, but these days it doesn't. You may get into a beta bucks situation occasionally, but she doesn't desire you, and she isn't thinking about you when you're having sex. She's thinking of her ex, and you are always second place to him, always, no matter what you do. You are chasing Chad's imprint literally because once that imprint is made, it's over. She thinks her looks match is a Chad, so no, that won't work. You may get a relationship, but she will cuck you. It's not a question of if, it's a question of when.
That is why I post here. This post is my therapy because it's better the devil you know than the devil you don't

57 [M4F] #Hudsonvalley. Looking for that curl your toes, adrenaline rush.
57[M4F] Milf, soccer mom, bored housewife, thick or thin. Outdoors, indoors, your place or mine, car truck, boat. So long as I can Cum in your……….

SPOILERS FOR UMINEKO (TO EPISODE 3) AND HIGURASHI (ALL)
In case you missed it, here are my reaction to previous episodes:
https://www.reddit.com/umineko/s/W3975jzCUM (Episode 1)
https://www.reddit.com/umineko/s/KNSuiUpGTD (Episode 2)
https://www.reddit.com/umineko/s/YSNh792HUT (Episode 3)
Mystery Solved!: Muahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! I have solved the mystery! I declare this for all to hear. I’m only halfway done with the story and I know what the answer is, or at least the path to it. There’s a lot that I’m sure I’m still missing, particularly all the stuff outside of the gameboard. But I believe I have solved the mysteries of the gameboard.
PS: I know I’m probably going to look back at this and think I’m a moron for thinking I have things even somewhat figured out, but that’s fine…all part of the fun.
Who Done it?:
Answer - Stage 1: Battler =/= Mu Mu’s Child:
This had to be one of the most important hints to come out of this episode. However, it could mean a few different things. Anyway, what we know is that Battler’s mom is not the woman he thought was his mother. Asumu isn’t his mother. However, it is stated that Kinzo is his grandfather, though they don’t confirm if Rudolf is his father.
Using this nugget of knowledge, I have come up with two different theories. Ironically, one is a magic theory and the other is a human theory.
Answer - Stage 2: Battler “Parentage”
1: The first theory is that Meta Battler =/= Real Battler. I don’t think that Meta Battler is “real.” I think that he and the real Battler are entirely separate. Then there is a third Battler type, “Gameboard Battler,” which only knows of the happenings of the gameboard. Meta Battler is some sort of imagined person. His mother isn’t Asumu because he isn’t real. So perhaps he is still Kinzo’s grandchild in a meta sense. Essentially, he’s Kinzo’s relative because he’s a descendant of Kinzo’s magic world/system. Or even descended from his imagination in some way. Or “born” from someone who was “born” from his imagination, thus making him his grandchild through this indirect method.
2: My second theory is that Battler isn’t Asumu’s child because he’s simply a bastard child of Rudolf’s. I don’t know who his mother is; the mother could somehow be Kyrie, it could be some random woman, it could even be the human Beatrice (that’d be hella weird). It could be a servant and he could be the child of a servant (Kumasawa? - Nah, that’d be weird too) like I thought Shannon was in the past…maybe she still is Rudolf’s bastard, maybe that’s how Battler’s secret heritage will be revealed.
Answer - Stage 3: The Nature of the Perspective/Reality
What we’re seeing on the gameboard is obviously not the absolute/definite truth. If it was, then Beatrice could simply pronounce in red that people were killed by magic and that would be that. Before, I thought she was only not doing this because she wanted to continue to play the game, but after the whole incident of her trying to quit, I no longer think this is the case.
In short, our perspective is all off-kilter. We are only seeing the “reality” that Beatrice/Lamba wants us to see. Or, in specific, these are the legends that were created about the murders that happened on Rokkenjima. That’s what I believe these different games are, the different fantastical stories told about the string of murders.
Answer - Stage 4: The Existence and Non-existence of Magic
I think that magic does exist. However, as this episode talks about, there are different kinds of witches, true witches and false witches. Lamba and Bernkastel are true witches, Beatrice is a false witch. One of my spur of the moment Episode 3 predictions was that Beatrice doesn’t actually exist; I think this prediction was correct.
Beatrice is not real, merely a figment of imagination given power by belief. Hence, she needs the validation of others to finally become real; this can’t happen so long as Battler continues to reject her. I think this lends to the fact that none of the other “magical creatures” that appear on the gameboard are “real” either. They are either creations of Maria, or creations of Kinzo, or some other human, or possibly, they are creations of other figments (like I presume Beatrice is).
Answer - Stage 5: Killer’s Identity
Battler is not Battler. In my two different theories, this could lead to two different things.
However, regardless of my two theory variations, the ultimate truth that they both point to stays the same: BATTLER IS THE CULPRIT. (Hehehe…this is spoiler tagged even though it is probably incorrect, deal with it.)
Depending on which of the two theories about Battler’s parentage is true (if either), I can see this going two ways in accordance with those theories.
1: Given that Meta Battler and real world Battler are not the same in this theory, Meta Battler cannot remember the actions of Real Battler. He can only observe the actions of Gameboard Battler, and the actions of Gameboard Battler are merely the legends of Rokkenjima created before the killings (Legend manuscripts created by Real Battler?), IF we take Ange’s post killing lifetime to be legit. Thus, Meta Battler is unaware that “he” is actually the real culprit. This is why Lambda is so sure that Battler will never win and she will be able to trap Bernkastel with her for all time, because who would ever suspect themself as the killer? After all, one would imagine that they would be able to remember their own wicked actions.
2: Following my more human theory, I’m going to posit that the Battler that goes to Rokkenjima isn’t the Battler that is the son of Asumu. He’s Bastard Battler. Battler hasn’t been to Rokkenjima in five years, and his relatives talk about how much he has changed and how they basically don’t even recognize him. Thus, the Battler that they used to know has been replaced by Bastard Battler. This Battler intends to claim the Ushiromiya headship and commits the murders in order to do just that. However, this second (human) theory can be split into two more sub-theories, and the first sub-theory can be split into two sub-sub-theories as well:
2A: The overarching theme of the first sub-theory is that Meta Battler is Real Battler (not the bastard). This can then be broken down further:
2AA: The first sub-sub-theory is that Meta Battler is a figment (of imagination) of Real Battler. I don’t know what happened to Real Battler, maybe he was killed by Bastard Battler or something like that. But Meta Battler is a figment version of Real Battler, trying to figure out what happened to his family.
2AB: The second sub-sub-theory is that maybe Real Battler went to Rokkenjima after the incident to try to figure out what happened and got caught up in all this weirdness and he’s trying to figure out what happened to his family.
2B: The second sub-theory is that Meta Battler is Bastard Battler and doesn’t retain his memory. In this theory, Meta Battler is synonymous with the killer (Bastard Battler), but simply doesn’t retain his memory. Thus, he is left firstly believing that he is Real Battler, and secondly, that he is a victim and not a perpetrator. This would also fit with Meta Battler not being the son of Asumu, and still being alive on the island at the end. Of course the killer would be the last one left.
This also makes sense given the fact that Battler makes it to the end every single time, except for the scenario in which Eva shoots Battler, convinced that it is him perpetrating the crimes. This game board scenario seems most similar to the “real world” of Ange in which Eva is the one to live through the ordeal. Though, the gameboard scenarios ultimately don’t “matter” because they were created by the Killer (Bastard/Meta Battler) before the killings ever happened.
I really like the second sub-theory, and I probably prefer it over all of the first sub-theory (including both of its sub-sub-theories).
The biggest question is whether the nature of the Gameboard scenarios is as I suppose them to be. Unfortunately, we aren’t given enough information about them (yet) to make a conclusive argument about exactly how they work. Hence my theory about them being the Legends of Rokkenjima perpetuated by the killer (as we see in Ange’s future).
Answer - Stage 6: How Done it?
I am the number one Dolfman (Rudolf) hater, and yet I was soft on him in my Episode 3 review/reaction. Pathetic! That’s what that was. No no, Battler couldn’t have committed all these murders alone, he had to have allies. There are too many places where he had an alibi. The first suspect for this is Rudolf. I believe he is the ultimate mastermind of the entire murder, however, I think he was either killed by one of his siblings, or Bastard Battler took control of his plot and offed him himself.
This makes me think of the fact that Rudolf knew he was going to be murdered in that one game board where he mentioned it to Kyrie and Battler (I don’t recall which episode it was). Is it possible that both Real Battler and Bastard Battler were on the island at the same time? Hmmm…that’s an interesting thought.
Yet, I also think there are more than our presupposed number of people on Rokkenjima. How though, since Beatrice has said in red the amount of people? I think the answer to this is exceedingly simple: It’s because some of the people we have been including in this count are not “human,” but are “furniture.” Thus, Beatrice can misrepresent the amount of people on Rokkenjima in her red truth without technically being untruthful. This adds a lot of potential extra actors that could assist Bastard Battler in his killings and why he has plenty of alibis, yet remains the killer.
Additionally, Kinzo is dead. It was confirmed that Kinzo is dead, and that somebody is likely taking the title of “Kinzo”, thereby making there be a Kinzo in the game. His body was burned in every game to hide the time of death. It is possible that Bastard Battler is this new Kinzo, or maybe it is an unknown third party. Either way, again, it just goes to show that Ryukishi07 is not not above dirty tricks to manipulate what we’re seeing and the number of people on the island. Thereby giving some level of validation to the aforementioned theories.
Answer - Stage 7: The Final Riddle
This means that the last difficulty I have is solving Beatrice’s final riddle.
2B: This is the theory that can solve Beatrice’s final riddle in the most simple way. Meta Battler is Bastard Battler without his memory (or in a mental landscape), Bastard Battler has killed off everyone else, including his (potentially existent) accomplices. Thus, Bastard Battler is the last one alive on the island. Who then is Beatrice? Well, as the riddle says, she is not him, nor is she anyone else alive since there are none. She is nothing/no one, a figment of imagination breathed “life” by legend and belief, yet she is not “alive” in any “real” way. From here I can see it diverging in three different ways:
2BA: This is the magical sub-sub-theory of sub-theory 2B, that Beatrice is an actual entity. An imaginary entity that has been given life by belief and legend, and thus when she says she will kill Battler, she means her existent entity will actually, physically, kill him. This fits smoother with her statement that she will kill him than in the following sub-sub-theory 2BB.
2BB: This is the human sub-sub-theory of sub-theory 2B, that Beatrice is not an actual entity. Rather, she is an entity only existent within Battler’s head. This fits, perhaps better with Battler being alone on the island than sub-sub-theory 2BA. When she says she will kill him, it means that Battler is all inside his own head after committing all these murders, and “fighting” the “demons” that live there. If she succeeds and kills him, then he will die (suicide? Lost will to live?). She exists within his head, but that doesn’t mean that she is him.
2BC: This sub-sub-theory of sub-theory 2B is related to sub-sub-theory 2BB, in this theory, it’s the exact same as 2BB (where she’s just in his head) except in this theory, she will not literally kill him but rather will metaphorically “kill” him. Perhaps the Battler (personality) that is him now will be destroyed, or killed in a metaphorical way, and a new Battler will be born.
2A: Between the two sub-sub-theories (2AA and 2AB) of the first sub-theory (2A), I find the second one to be more likely given that in Beatrice’s final riddle she states that Battler is alive and alone on the island. The only reason to doubt this is the question of what exactly the word “alive” means and what exactly the meaning of “you” is in Beatrice’s riddle. Does “you” refer to “Ushiromiya Battler” more broadly, or is it specific to Meta Battler? Does “alive” mean flesh and blood and breathing, or simply an independent entity that acts of its own volition? What precisely does it mean to be “alive”? What precisely does it mean to be “you?” I think this might be pushing it too far though, hence why I find the second sub-sub theory of 2A to be more likely.
Thus, as stated, of the two sub-sub-theories of 2A, I find my theory (2AB) where Real Battler goes to Rokkenjima to discover the secrets of the murders and become trapped by “real” magic in this magical game with Beatrice to be more likely. This theory is fundamentally opposed to theory 2B, as it has Meta Battler be Real Battler vs 2B’s theory of Meta Battler being Bastard Battler.
However, the hypothesis of 2AA where Meta Battler is merely a figment (like I’m supposing Beatrice is) also has a convincing element to it, given that when Beatrice denied Battler’s existence with the red (about his mother and all that), he also seemed to be smashed into near non-existence. Something about who he is, or who he believes he is is fake/wrong.
1: This is the theory in which Bastard Battler doesn’t exist, it’s the theory in which Meta Battler is a figment of imagination of either Real Battler (who is the killer, not innocent like in all of theory 2), or the figment of some other actor. Perhaps Meta battler is even a figment of Beatrice’s imagination and Beatrice is a figment of somebody else’s. The point is that Battler is a figment, so when Beatrice says “you” in her riddle, she is referring to Real Battler, and not Meta Battler. In the same way, perhaps it’s Real Battler that will be killed, or maybe Meta Battler, the distinction doesn’t matter that much in this theory, as either can be used to circumvent the seemingly self-contradictory nature of the riddle. The semantics of this is especially hard to determine not only because it’s translated from another language, but also because of the inherently vague nature of the pronouns if you consider the possibility of a Battler that is not Meta Battler.
Anyway, the central point of all these various theories and sub-theories is the same: I believe Battler is the culprit, although I have a bunch of different theories about the way that it played out.
Bea-Bearish: My theory that Battler is the killer falls perfectly in line with why Beatrice acts so upset after Battler is unable to remember the sin/s that she tells him to remember during his headship test. If my theories are correct, then perhaps the sin/s she is trying to get him to remember is the murder of the Ushiromiya family that Ushiromiya Battler committed (whether Real or Bastard Battler).
Perhaps, to be more specific, she was upset he didn’t remember the sin of creating/fabricating her as a wild cover up story to gloss over “his own” crimes. That’s why she was upset despite her insistence that the sin that Battler committed wasn’t against her, per se. She wants him to remember who she is, which rhymes well with the ending line of her final riddle, “Who Am I?,” the final question that Battler has to come to terms with in order to defeat her.
Bea-Battler: If you’ve been following my posts, then you also know that I’ve been a steadfast proponent of the Beatrice and Battler ship ever since their meeting in episode 1. I still hold fast to this belief. In fact, in spite of everything, my belief and commitment to it is stronger than ever. Through the thick and the thin, this is my one understanding of the story that has not wavered for even a second. I would say that there were two big moments that stuck out to me in relation to this.
Firstly, the fact that she got so worked up over Battler not being able to respond to her headship question in the way that she wanted. When someone means a great deal to you, but is unable to answer something that you think they should know if they actually gave a damn, it can be frustrating. That feels like what Beatrice is going through here. Battler is the only one we’ve seen that is actually able to significantly impact Beatrice’s mood. She clearly gives a damn about what he thinks. Secondly, that very last scene where she basically falls into his arms after begging for him to kill her. C’mon, tell me that wasn’t pointing towards BeaBattler. That art was too beautiful for it to not be. Beauty is truth.
Bea-Bullshittin’: Here’s another question, is Beatrice bullshitting or not? She presents as if she truly wants Battler to kill her. However, is this legitimate or not? It wasn’t a legit remorse last episode. Lambdadelta certainly thinks that she’s just acting like she was in episode 3, but I’m not so sure. I think Lambda is an arrogant little shit who thinks she has Beatrice snugly under her thumb, but actually doesn’t.
We are given a bit of Beatrice’s perspective in Battler’s inaccurate rampage of blue truth, and she thinks of herself as the girl who cried wolf. She seems to lament the fact that Battler will never trust her again, in a genuine and not manipulative way. That implies that this time she is being truthful with wanting it all to end, that she’s not just acting. In my post on last episode, I was a firm proponent of the theory that Beatrice wasn’t merely being deceptive, that a part of her wanted to truly change, but that she was scared of Lambdadelta and hadn't quite gotten to rock bottom/a true epiphany. However, she might sincerely be at that breaking point now, ready to have a genuine epiphany of conscience.
Thus, in my mind, it is very much possible that while Lambdadelta thinks Beatrice is putting on a grand show, she’s genuinely not. Or, even if she is, she is trying to self-sabotage her own show simultaneously. If she truly is just putting on an act, then I think she’s going about it stupidly; Beatrice keeps making fun of Ange’s death, which only serves to push Battler to the point of setting aside his sportsmanship in anger and pursuing the finishing blow, which he could have done. If she was truly trying to trick him again, I don’t think she would keep prodding the wound of Ange’s death. However, if she actually was trying to get him to finish her off, then her ruthless mockery of Ange’s death suddenly clicks into place.
One of the things that supplements this understanding is that the story seems to be trying to explicitly draw us away from this conclusion. One thing I’ve noticed about the story is that it plants little nuggets of truth all throughout, but it tries to draw our attention away from those even while it plants them. Last episode, it wanted us to believe Beatrice was genuine with her remorse even though she wasn’t. However, this time it wants us to believe that she isn’t being genuine again, even though now I think that she is. Or maybe I’m just gullible when it comes to women. One of the two, hahaha.
Bea-Bowing Out: When Beatrice bows out of the competition and tries to leave, she is quite ruthlessly confronted by Lambdadelta. This is because Lambdadelta’s win-condition is keeping Bernkastel with her for all eternity. It’s curious, I’m split. I’m not sure whether I should doubt the portrayal of this or not.
On one hand, (as stated above) I think that Beatrice is being more genuine this time; on the other hand, I’m surprised Beatrice was able to make a move that surprised Lambda to this degree so early in the story (halfway). For this reason, I almost feel like I want to question whether it’s possible if Beatrice’s exodus from the game might itself have been scripted in advance… I don’t know, though, Lambdadelta looked pretty pissed about it, but maybe that’s just more acting.
Bea-Body: Additionally, I want to add another theory in the mix. I do think Human Beatrice is a real person (Kinzo’s mistress). I’m not sure whether she is long dead (as we see in Rosa meeting Beatrice part), or if she’s still around. Maybe her current version is a child of Kinzo by the previous Beatrice (the one who died with Rosa) as some of the adults predicted? Oh snap!!! Maybe this is the incest part I heard about. (Note: Before I started Umineko, I thought I heard some sort of rumor that there was some sort of incest plotline) Maybe human Beatrice and Battler are half-aunt and nephew?! Man, wouldn’t that be a revelation. After all…both Krauss and Jessica have golden hair, so it’s not implausible a child of Kinzo would also have one…and maybe Krauss is also secretly a child of OG Beatrice since he has golden hair? (Nahhh, that last bit is pushing it too far)
Overall, I’m not quite sure what effect Human Beatrice is going to have on the story, or what exactly her role will be. We saw a moment in this episode where the two Beatrices even seemed to have some sort of conversation with one another, but they were too vague with what they said—I couldn’t make out anything of import.
Final Comments: This is already way too long, so I’ll wrap it up even though I could probably say plenty more. I absolutely loved George and Jessica’s fights with their respective demons. The fact that they were able to put up that good of a fight was remarkable. I was cheering the entire time; of course, I saw their loss coming (because it’s Umineko), but it was still a great ride. It even made me question for a moment if they actually could win. The silence of Battler and Beatrice’s commentary made that seem unlikely, though.
Damn, Rosa and Maria’s dynamic in this one was absolutely heartrending. Both of them yelling at one another that they hate the other. Rosa’s despicable treatment of her daughter. Maria’s sadistic revenge. All of it was so depressing to watch. I felt uncomfortable watching Sakutarou because everything with him in it feels so childish, but that’s the point, Maria is a child and he’s her “imaginary” friend.
As I predicted, Eva Beatrice reappeared. Though, I’m not quite certain what form she has. She’s definitely still a figment. However, did she truly inherit the Endless Witch title from Beatrice? If so, then why is Beatrice still the Endless Witch? Or, actually, the ritual for her to inherit failed, didn’t it? If so, lucky for her that she still gets to remain “alive.” It’ll be interesting to see where they go with her character in the future. She remains as detestable as ever.
Additionally, good going Ange, kicking their butts with magic when it shouldn’t have been possible. They needed to die. Speaking of Ange, I wonder what’s going to be up with her now that she was shredded? Is she still alive in the future? Will we see more of her story? I imagine so, I can’t see Ryukishi07 doing away with her character that easily. But I doubt whether we’ll see more of her interacting directly with Meta Battler for a while.
Note: I still dislike the Chiester sister. They still feel very out of place.
Overall: I’m still absolutely loving it. Ryukishi07 is an author who I absolutely adore, so no surprises there. Battler is still unfathomably based. Also, given that y’all can see the crazy eccentricity and screwed up logic of my theories, I’m sure y’all can see why I resonate with Battler’s character.
Where Do I Think It’s Going?: Hmmmmm. I think that once Battler figures out what’s going on, all hell is going to break loose. I’ve seen glimpses online of characters we haven’t even met yet…given that, I imagine I’m going to have to start from scratch with a lot of beliefs about the series.
That being said, if I had to guess, the only thing I can say right now is that I think Battler is going to ultimately subvert Lambdadelta and Bernkastel’s game. I think he’s going to find a loophole to save everyone, including Beatrice. As I said, I currently think that Battler is the killer, and I think that the murders are ultimately done by humans and all the magical stuff is just the gloss of the legends overlaid on top. However, I also think that magic is real and that once the mystery is solved, all magical hell is going to break loose. And given the completely “other” nature of all that, I imagine that it’s futile to try to even guess the contents of what happens when all that hell does break loose.
Note: Again, I know that my theories are probably wrong, but trying t figure it out and wildly speculating is part of the fun.

HOOKS: Venezuela🇻🇪+ Congolese🇨🇩+ Native American🙋🏿, zero income, orphan, homeless😿, women in stem🧪(international president and founded sister club men in stem), first-gen, legacy, was diagnoses with cancer and Neural Diseases💀, Have to take care of my 16 sisters and brothers.
STATS: GPA: 4.0/4.0 UW 5.01/5.0 W🔥SAT: 1600/1600(E: 800, M: 800)👍ACT: 37(extra credit because elected as creator of this year's test) 🙏 25 AP Courses(All perfect scores💯) 20 DE Courses, Top 0.1% in my school and on the Earth🔝. Senior course Load: AP Literary Theory📖, AP Sleeping💤, AP Flexing💪, AP Nano-Economy🪙, AP Gender Studies🧑‍🦲,AP Rizzics C🤩, AP Inorganic Chemistry⚗, AP Lunch🍲, AP Algebraic Structures🤯, Honors Quantum Computer Science⚛, AP Macedonian Language and Culture🇲🇰, AP Middle East History📝, AP Advance Research Method in Sociology 🕵, AP Underwater Basket Weaving🧺, AP 4D Art and Design🎨, AP Pre-Algebra🤮and AP Biophysics🧫. Had a PHD in Philosophy🤔, Computer Engineering💻, Biology🔬and Egyptology🔺.
AWARDS: Nobel Price in Physics🧑‍🔬, Peace☮, Chemistry⚛, and Literature📖, Oscar best actor award🧑‍🎤, Pulitzer Prize📷, Grammy Award🎤, Olympic gold medal🥇and world record holder in 3200m🏃(missed world record for 400m by 0.0001s because ran on 1 leg), 100m swim 🏊, and gymnastics, Fields Medal➗, Turning Award🖥, Medal of Honor (US military: Served in Korean + Vietnam War and saved 4071 brother in arms and took a nuke for them)🎖, Formula 1 champion🏁, World Chess Champion ♕ (beat 4000elo chess bot), 10x IMO Gold Medal🥇, ISEF 1st Place, Original Oratory 1st place, 5x FRC World Champion(run team 254 by myself), AP Scholarist Summa Cum Laude (5 on 32 AP Exams), Named Forbes Person of Eon, and Valedictorian in a class of 7892.
ECs: Donated 3733 buildings to universities🏢. President of the USA 2024-2036🇺🇲(was so popular that I am in office 3 times). The Supreme Leader of North Korea🇰🇵.(made it a democratic country), Ethiopian Minister of Secretary🇪🇹. Self made Trillionaire.💲Open up 317 start ups, all become trillion dollar companies💹. Projects: Invented time machine (went back in time to invent English)⏰, warp engine🚀, and a universal cure to cancer💊, as well as Artificial super intelligence🤖. Donate Trillions to Africa💰 and help them build infrastructures🏗. President of UN🌍(not model, real). Found 28205 non-profit organization, including the red-cross🇨🇭. Volunteering: 70000000 hours, 1st person to land on Mars and Jupiter (will land on Sun next year)🪐, a mission to stop an incoming asteroid to save countless humanities 🌠, became a firefighter in Hong Kong and saved 3740 lives 🧑‍🚒, created Covid 19 vaccine, world record holder for most world records, and work in a Japanese toilet factory🚽, internship at 863232 companies. Was the CEO of Google, Apple🍎, NVIDIA, and Collegeboard (had to step down because was breaking world economy for making too much money)💩 Exchange student with Keplar 29c.👽, Navy SEAL + Top Gun, Started 342354 clubs, and is a member of 293493 Honors Society📜. Anthropology & Chemical Engineering professor in MIT 👩🏾‍🏫. Led a research that led to the discovery of multiverse.🔮 My dad is the principal of Stanford 🏫. My mom is the principal of Harvard 🏫. I am the principal of Brown and UC Berkeley 🏫. My Grandma is the principal of Cal Tech.🏫. Youtuber with 236 million Subscribers 📹, top 0.00001% Spotify artist🎶. Veteran at the US Civil War and WW2 European Theater 🪖, saved 3435 fellow soldiers. Creator of famous video games such as Minecraft, Roblox, Fortnite, League of Legends, and Valorant🎮. Speak 3425 languages fluently 🗣. Organize 34234 climate change and human right protests🔊. Ended Russian-Ukrainian War with a Twitter post 🇺🇦, and became a medic in Ukraine. Solved world hunger, climate change and overpopulation 🌐. Went on year-long missionary trips in deep Amazon and Sahara desert 🌴. Author of some of the world-famous novels🖊, as well as the head-writer of the CNN, Fox News, New York Times, and Wall Street🗞, as well as the sole writer of US Constitution📜. Hobby: The Grand-Master of Telekinesis and Teleportation Kung Fu for 435 years🥋. Drive Tunnel Boring Machines, went to the inner core of earth🕳 Raising Dinosaurs and open a Dino-Zoo at home🦖. A level 100 Grand wizard🪄. Defeated Mechagodzilla👺. Play in the Argentinian team in WorldCup⚽.(As famous as Messi) The owner and the cook in a free of charge Michelin 7 Star restaurant🧑‍🍳. Climb the highest mountains in 7 continents in 7 days 🧗. Farm black holes with a home-made particle accelerator🕳. Reddit admin with 1 Billion karma ⇧. Well known revolutionary abstract artist 🖌, creator of Bitcoin (shhhhh). Perform miracles and resurrected 14 people. 🤷. Directed 80 films such as Avatar, Titanic, Endgame, and The Godfather, IQ of 489, and
Wrote my essay about how I escaped North Korea, got caught, and singlehandedly decimated entire army and overtook government to establish democracy and world peace. Then I was attacked by China's 3 million strong army but I could only handle 2.9 Million :( so I was imprisoned but I still escaped using my warping telekinesis
Safeties: MITEA, Caltechnology, Hardvard, Samford, Prince Tam, Harry Mud, Yail, 🟫
Target: UCLA, UIUC
Reach: De Anza Community College😩, Ohlone Community College😩😩😩😩😩😩
I am only 10.25 years old so if my application is lacking I can still wait to apply next year🥺
Sadly, could not cure heart attacks by the time I apply to college I am sooo cooked. Please wish me the goodest luck.

Let me start by disclaiming that I am new to this. I’ve watched a bunch of those Reddit videos on TikTok and figured I’d give it a try considering I don’t have anywhere or anyone else to voice my thoughts. I want to backtrack a little and state that “frustration” may not be the right word. Maybe disappointment? Unfortunate side effect of life? I don’t know. Anyway….
My intimacy life with my girlfriend is not what I want it to be. It’s very one sided. It’s always the same 2 or 3 things of foreplay and the same 2 positions. Meanwhile I get a half hearted handy at best and no form of reciprocation during sex. Most of the time it’s like having sex with a limp body. I don’t want to give the wrong impression, she does climax every time. I’m always making sure she has at least one orgasm. But I don’t get much from her. She doesn’t even want to suck dick but won’t give me a reason why. Most of the time I only cum because of how touch deprived I am. (I should mention that the frequency at which we have our intimate time is solely based on when she wants it. Which ends up being once every 3 to 4 weeks.) At this point, sex is starting to feel like a chore to me. Something I need to do so she doesn’t have to question whether or not I love her. It ends up being just another thing to do on the checklist like walking our dog or taking care of the dishes.
I’ve tried to have multiple talks about it. But she’s always awkward and standoffish about the topic. And I refuse to put her in a situation where she’s uncomfortable. I pride myself in being her safe space and I don’t want to risk that because of her past trauma. We’re also the parents of 2 amazing children; a toddler boy and a baby girl. She’s a stay at home mom and an excellent mother to our children. So I don’t want to come off ungrateful for everything she does. My children wouldn’t be as amazing as they are if not for their mother. But at the same time, you’d think what little time we do get to be intimate with each other, she’d put more effort into it. But it always ends up being about her pleasure while mine takes a back seat or is pretty much not even in the proverbial car.
I don’t know what to do at this point other than to vent. I love her. She’s otherwise an amazing woman. I cannot stress enough how wonderful she is as mother. We plan to marry someday soon. I just haven’t figured out how I’ll be able to cope with a lack of physical intimacy when I find it to be such an important part of any relationship. I guess we can’t have it all.
TL;DR Ya boi is sexually starved and I just needed to talk about it. Thanks.

My hell started when I was 6-7 years old, I know, so young. I was at the bedroom alone playing with my toys, as my mom, dad and siblings we're down stairs doing some stuff. Until my dad came up to the room to check on me. We we're talking for a while, until he's bulge on he's shorts caught my attention. I was young and naive, so I ask what it was. But instead of answering he got up and let's me see, pulling down he's shorts, revealing himself. As a 6 year old child, i was stupid. My eye's sparked from confusion as I pointed at it, asking what it was doing or ask if I can touch? So.. He agreed. He asked me to kiss it and even move my hands to the better parts. Seconds later, he asked me to stop since he has the urge to pee. So I stop and followed him to the bathroom, since I'm curious on how 'men' pee. But instead of peeing, it was pre-cum. time past, and it stopped for a year, until I hit puberty at the age of 8. My breast grew as I start having curves, and there it began once again. Me and my family sleeps on one bed, I was beside my dad because he was favorite. But as we we're about to sleep I can feel he's hands sliding upwards, touching me on my breast. I felt weird, and uncomfortable about it. I never felt something like this before, but I didn't complain. I just let him, since I didn't know if it's normal or not. Morning came, and we we're down stairs. We we're all watching a movie and I was sitting on my dad's lap, but I felt something hard pressing behind me. It was my dad pressing himself, but once again.. I didn't complain. I just sat there and didn't care. It's been like this for years, and now I'm 13 years old turning 14, and he still keeps on touching my breast as a joke and sometimes pressed himself against me. I don't know what to do. I don't want to tell my mother or any family member about this, since I'm scared they might report my dad to the police. So I'm asking if can someone please tell me on what to do to forget about this life of hell.

I went to the emergency room today I was in immense pain. I’ve had an ongoing issue for about a year now. I’ve had 2 surgeries and I’ve been to the ER 30 times. I sat down in the waiting room and this man starts talking about how good I would look in a bikini, he also noticed that I had a nursing book because I’m in nursing school. He started talking about how nursing is easy and doctors have it hard. I bit my tongue because he was probably manic. Luckily they called my name. And I went to the second waiting room. There are 2 waiting rooms in my ER, the second one is for people who are just about to get their rooms but they have to clean it first. His name also got called, he started talking about how pretty my names was. I ended up asking to sit between 2 old ladies, they were kind. Shortly after I got a room.
Turns out my 2 ‘successful’ surgeries didn’t work and I would need another one. I started crying. Then the doctor said they needed to drain the cyst I have. So my mom came to see me in the ER. They put me under and my mom had to leave the room and sit in the waiting room. There the creepy guy gave her a note with the following “roses are red, violets are blue, you’re so pretty, I would like to cum on you”.
I can’t believe this happened, I just wanted to get better. It’s been the worst day of my life. The police were called and they filled a report. I’m not sure what’s going to come from it though because it’s not techinally illegal. The hospital staff know what’s going on. I know he’s a frequent flyer at the ER and I’m scared I’m going to see him again because now I’m sick again. I hate being a woman in a world where men think it’s ok to do that. I hate that it’s not illegal for men to say things like that. And I hate that in my country self defence objects are illegal. I couldn’t defend myself if something happened, I’m to weak especially right now. The police told me there is nothing they could do. How many other girls in the ER has he harassed? He managed to make the worst day of my life even worse somehow. Imagine what others are going through.

i’m 28f and my sister is 21 we grew up differently and in an emotionally abusive household. long story short i’m all kinds of fucked up. especially emotionally. i’m very passionate and sensitive and my sister is not. she’s outgoing and fast paced and doesn’t care about empathy as much. my mother has always had a soft spot for her and as much as i help out my family and do things with the best intentions , it always falls short and never gets noticed / appreciated.me and my mom argue a lot but she doesn’t even care to fight me anymore she just gives up and agrees but if my sister is mad at her she literally cries and begs her for forgiveness that’s fine but what pisses me off is that the smallest inconvenience,or the one time i don’t sacrifice something for the family, i’m the assholebhut my sister never does. i’m the only kid in my family to go to college and graduate magma cum laude but my parents don’t even consider that bc i didn’t continue and get a masters yet my sister got her nails license and they’re so fucking proud of her that they framed her certificate. my sister refuses to do my nails for free even though i had gifted her hundreds of dollars worth of nail stuff, constantly pay for her, give her my car, buy her shit, and more but then when i call her a b word my mom has something to say but doesn’t say anything about the way she behaves. my mom and my sis are close and i’m not as affectionate in general but everytime i see the way my mom is with her i get so fucking upset and emotional. i never got that same love from her and i know i’m jealous and i know i’m craving that kind of love and validation even though i know deep down i don’t need it because if my mom genuinely loves my sister more than me, there is nothing i can do about it. it’s just not fuckinf fair and it hurts me to the point it makes me feel sick anytime i go visit them. i rather just not speak to them and let me feel life without me because i’m just tired of feeling worthless and like shit ,unappreciated when i’m with them. i hate that i come across so emotionally weak because of them but i just can’t stand the double standards and how unfair they are. it feels like i’m suffocating and everytime i try to yell for help they just keep stomping on me

Today I (19F) went to my local emergency room. I’ve had an ongoing issue for about a year now. When I sat in the waiting room a guy was making small talk with me. I was all alone in the waiting room, my mom just dropped me off. I made polite small talk to the guy talking to me, he made weird comments like saying how I would look good in a bikini and he also knew my name. Luckily due to the amount of pain I was in I got called to the second waiting room. How it works in my ER is theirs 2 waiting rooms 1 for most people and the second for people who are close to getting a room, really all the second waiting room is for is just waiting for their room to be cleaned. Anyway when I got to the second waiting room I saw the guy I was talking to also got called. I talked to some nice old ladies who let me sit in between them. I explained my situation and they were very understanding. I got my room pretty quick and told my nurse what was going on.
I ended up having to go under, at this time my mom was here. She gave me a kiss and then she waited in the waiting room. She was et allowed to be there while I was under. When she was out there the guy handed her a note. It said “roses are red, violets are blue, I would like to cum on you.” And then it had a picture of a penis on it. I talked to the police and they didn’t do anything.
But now I am so scared of going to the hospital again. And I know I will have to the doctors even said it himself that I would probably have to go under again until I could get surgery. The problem is, is I think that guy is a frequent flyer too. I’ve seen him once or twice before. And he clearly noticed me because he knew my name. I’m so scared I don’t know what to do. What can I do to know I am protected? I’ve taken classes before but given my current condition I doubt I could protect myself.