Cute love notes left around the house

I’ve been with my boyfriend for two years now. We met online and we’re in a long-distance relationship. I’ve had such wonderful times with him and I love him. But lately, as we’re becoming more serious, I’ve been noticing things about him that bother me. I feel like I don’t really have a normal boyfriend and I feel like I deserve better. I suddenly catch myself wondering if this is really going to work out and if I won’t be happier with someone else. I’ve really loved him so much, he was everything to me. I was always bursting with love for him. I feel quite numb lately, because there are so many things about him that I’m starting to notice now, and they’re starting to bother me. I feel resentment towards him.
First of all, he is a bit overweight and I’ve been waiting two years for him to lose weight. It stayed the same in the first year even though he promised me he would lose the weight for me. We dated for nine months online before meeting and he only told me he was overweight two months before we were going to meet up. I didn’t know, because the only pictures of him online were of when he was slim. He is starting to lose weight now, but it’s going quite slowly and I feel like I need to push him and help him all the time.
Second of all, he’s not financially stable. He’s a freelance writer but he doesn’t earn any money. He lives with his parents which is not ideal but wouldn’t bother me so much if he was actually employed and earning money When we ‘works’ it’s just him writing stories and poems for himself. He does receive £500 a months because he once tried to commot suicide when he was 17, but that will end soon and still, it’s not enough. I told him that I would like him to get a job because we want to get married early and it’s important that he has a steady income before we do. He told me that I should look for jobs for him, he looked a little aswell and asked around in the city but he’s not really doing anything about it now. It really comes from me. He’s setting up his writing website now but even that takes so long. I don’t feel much motivation or ambition from him.
Third, he doesn’t have his driver’s licence and he doesn’t have a car. I was the one who really spurred him on to get lessons. He’s had two lessons from his dad in two months. He’s not really doing much for it.
I feel like there are so many things that lack in him. I really love him, but I feel like I constantly have to see things through my fingers. I’m constantly waiting for him to do and achieve the things that I want him to do. I feel anxious and stressed. I’m starting to feel like I don’t have a future with him. I can’t see us living together in a nice house with children. I can’t see him being a father. It’s all just a dream. It’s not normal that I should make my boyfriend get a job and work and get his licence. He’s turning 25 this years, these are things he should already have and that he should be doing on his own, I shouldn’t have to tell him. I stayed because I really thought it would get better and maybe it is getting better, but it’s not enough. I don’t feel safe, I feel unstable. I feel like it’s just a game. I’m doing my part, I’m in college and saving as much money as I can. I feel like he’s not doing his part. And now I actually feel like I love and like him less because of all these things, because it makes me feel resentful and unnattracted to him. I keep imagining myself and a man who has a job and a house and is independent and even the thought of that makes me feel so relieved. I really don’t need much, I’m not asking for a huge income and a big house. And I’m also willing to work hard myself, but I can’t do it alone. Even if we just live in an apartment and don’t go on holiday that much, I don’t mind if I’m with the man I love. But this is not even at the minimum.
I’m all alone in bed now, he walked away angrily to sleep downstairs because I called him a manchild because he said he doesn’t want to come to my house during the six weeks we won’t see each other. It made me feel annoyed because even if he doesn’t like my house or my parents and is afraid of flying, would it really be worth not seeing me for so long? I feel so sad and hopeless. I just want a man. I’m done with this. I’m going home tommorow and maybe I should just break it off now, although his parents booked a holiday for us all in Cornwall in June. Please help me.

Sorry for the rant, this just happened and I feel numb but I don't know who in my actual life to talk to about this.
I've been dating my international student girlfriend since December 2023. She's from a poor background, and I was drawn to her passion for political activism, hoping to grow in that area myself. Recently, her PCOS symptoms have worsened, affecting her health, but she's buried under activism and PhD work, barely able to care for herself. I've been supporting her by giving her my credit card for Ubers and food delivery, cooking for her occasionally, and covering whatever works I can for her, but our interactions have become mostly work.
We've had a few big fights, especially in April and May. During a conference in Hawaii, she asked me to ask her a question as an audience member but didn't specify. In trying to pay attention and think of a good question, I missed a text asking for a photo, and she berated me for hours, calling me privileged and incompetent and a manchild who needs to be spoonfed. She later apologized, and things seemed to improve for a few weeks.
Cut to a month later , on mother's Day I had plans to spend the day with my fam. However at the last minute she told me she needed me to come to a protest and bring food. I cooked until midnight the night before, made an excuse to my mom and spent the day driving back and forth between my parents and my gf. At 11:30 that night she asked me to drop off some groceries along with some medicine and a check.
To give you context on the check right before the Hawaii fight she asked to live together in september. I had concerns so I said I didn't want to yet. However she said given her finances this would really help. She asked how I could claim to love her when I wouldn't compromise to help her. I ended up compromising by offering to just pay her rent for the next year but live alone. This comes out to roughly 18k. I'm not rich. I am an engineer with decent savings so this wouldn't financially cripple me but it is definitely eating into my house down payment savings.
Anyways when I dropped off the stuff I made a joke about not getting any good pictures of her at the protest and she blew up at me about how I'm incompetent and making no strides to improve myself. This criticism extended to my hobbies like pub trivia and board game nights, which she deemed frivolous and a sign of my privilege to choose not to spend that time studying the political issues especially calling me a psychopath for doing this when a genocide is happening.
I felt cold and told her I don't plan to give up my frivolous activities. She called me an asshole but I said I don't care and just left. She blocked me on instagram. I don't know if it's explicitly a breakup but it feels like it.
I'm conflicted about how my decision might impact her, considering her health, financial situation, and lack of a support system in California. I'm unsure if I should have waited until she was better or back in her home country to end things?

I (34m) have not had a close relationship with my grandmother on my father's side for many years.
While there are several things I could point to, I think the main reasons are she some of the time looks at me, acts like, treats me like I'm still a little boy and in some respects does things that give the impression she expects to have the same relationship we did when I was a child and doesn't know what a relationship between a grandmother and 34 year old man should look like.
This may sound odd but whenever I am around her, I feel like she NEEDS energy from me.
In an attempt to paint a better picture of her, she loves the world of Disney, and in many ways, acts like/thinks real life should reflect the happy, loving, world that Disney characters and their stories exist in.
I've made it very clear over the years that I do not like when she tells the whole family stories about something cute that happened when I was a child, or when she professes her love for me to the family or when she randomly tries to hold me hand, pet my arm, hug me, all like I'm a child.
She has continued to do these things throughout the years, not respecting my boundaries. She doesn't seem capable of seeing me as an adult. I have continued to pull away more and more while trying to be cordial.
There are other things as well that rub me the wrong way but I'll stop here.
I will admit I'm not the warmest person in the world. Maybe it's a me thing, maybe I'm wildly cold hearted but being around her makes me want to withdraw. As additional context, multiple family members have issues with her as well.
This past weekend, at a family event, she got drunk, and started professing how much she adores me, which I just tried to ignore because I don't like when she does that. She then got up from her seat at dinner and came over to me basically begging for a hug. Maybe I should have sucked it up and appeased her but I had had a few drinks and decided I wasn't going to entertain it and ignored her.
My father called me the next day calling me out about this, saying that I was rude, mean, I humiliated her, and that I need to look at myself as a man and he doesn't understand why I don't like his mother. I initially was calm and told him he's entitled to his thoughts and feelings but once he called out my manhood I raised my voice and told him that his mother endlessly needs my energy and she always does this and I'm not doing it anymore. The call ended with him saying that he's not yelling at me but that I have no right to disrespect her, be mean to her, that it's his mother, and I should think about things. I just said ok a few times and he asked, "that's all you have to say?", to which I said yes.
Is this all in my head and I'm just an utter piece of shit for acting like this with my grandmother? Is she in the wrong for continuing to ignore boundaries of mine and being unable to have an adult relationship with me?
It's been many many years of feeling like this and this uncomfortable dynamic. Is there any way to repair this? How so? Should I even repair this?
I guess with my father, it might be best to tell him that this is why I've acted this way towards his mother all these years, but I'm not sure he'll understand that I feel like she needs my energy and attention and that makes me withdraw. Not sure there's another way to make up with my father but open to suggestions and advice.

Long story short I (27f) met this guy (27m) 2.5 years ago. Its been a long journey, we have ended things three times bc of lack of commitment and him not being completely over his ex (always being me who initially takes the decision). I left him for the last time, at the beginning of last year but we reconnected around 4 months ago and started dating again. We are exclusive, text literally everyday, go out on dates, call each other names, plan trips outside of the city.. but its not a relationship, since we are not bf/gf and even though we havent recently discussed it, he is not in a relationship mindset and problably wont be
The thing is... I've noticed everytime we go out, the next days we seems to be more distant. We sometimes argue when we meet, but even when that doesnt happen, the night could go perfectly well, and he is not gonna be as sweet or talktative as he usually is. I feel like he feels we might be getting too intimate and that pulls him away? ( we usually say ily, kiss, and say cute things while out, and we do have some drinks as well which makes everything more intense)... He then goes back to normal after a few days, and when its me who gets a little distant, he tries to know whats going on and starts being more present. I just dont get it though
Could you tell me why based on your masculine perspective?

As the title eludes to, I've been on a long quest for a system that I feel can easily be taught to players of any skill-level while also ticking some important boxes for me. I've read probably 100 systems in the last half a year, but nothing ever works the way I want it to.
Enter D&D 4E. I took a look at this again out of curiosity, having not played it since launch because the community hated it so much and went back to 3.5 or PF 1 (both of which are not for me). After the read through, it definitely seems to hit the sweet spots better than I remember. Just for sake of conversation, these are Magic, Simplicity, and Combat.
I dislike any system that doesn't let a Caster use Spells as much as they want, so Slots and Mana are not for me. Instead I have always loved WHFRPG 2E, which is basically cast as much as you want but with risk on every roll. While 4E doesn't do quite that, it at least lets the Player fulfill the fantasy of being a mage full-time.
The Simplicity and Combat of the system are two sides of the same coin for me. Powers make it very obvious what you can and can't do, while also making it obvious how to build your Character in a certain direction. This ties into the Combat where things are easily "board-gamed": just turn over the EncounteDaily Powers as they're used and focus on what you have left. I understand why this wasn't popular on release but it's honestly perfect for today's gamer and I don't know why the system didn't see wider use. Anyways.
While I have access to every book that was officially released, it's hard to know what to use and what not to. I've found a lot of anecdotes about x book not being balanced against the rest, changes to certain enemies to keep the pace of combat, etc. but there doesn't seem to be a solid, singular repository for this advice and the "Why" behind it. Similarly, I'm not sure which tools to use as there are many and they're in various stages of support.
That's what I'm looking for help with, as the 4E sub-Reddit seems quite dead. I simply have no idea where to start learning more about the system beyond the books themselves, which is only a part of the equation for any RPG. Hoping there are some old-heads or modern enjoyers around that can point me in the right direction. :]

Hi there Did anyone ever go to a lawn/garage sale off the Hume highway around 2014 in Marulan, NSW? It was sign posted a few times “Lawn sale! 100s of records and book” along the Hume heading south from Sydney. In January 2014, 2 friends and I were driving back to Melbourne from Sydney, we saw the signs and thought, let’s have a look. It was a very hot morning from memory. We turned off the Hume (where the signs said to turn) and drove along a dirt road and up a dirt road driveway. All of us were joking around that we would be murdered etc We got to the Lawn sale (no lawn, just dirt) and geez it was a weird/amazing site. To my left I remember seeing a huge bonfire site with hundreds and hundreds of beer bottles, there were old cars and parts scattered around and then in the middle (infront of the house) were about 20 or so trestle tables with stuff for sale. Clothes, bric a brac, a table full of toy parts (babies heads, arms etc) books, records etc At one point I walked up towards the front row of tables, which was near a house. I heard a woman inside screaming and shouting, “f this and that” and some smashing of glass. One of my friends was looking at stuff nearby. Then a man walked out of the house. This is where things got weird. This man walked onto the front deck of the house and paced back and forth staring at me. He was in his 50s/60s, skin was like leather from the sun and he had these piercing beady blue eyes furrowed into his face. I said hey and I swear he responded “you’re gonna die”. He said nothing else and kept pacing around. I wasn’t sure what I’d heard and kept looking around for a minute (quietly freaking out). Then a lady arrived with her partner and I joined her looking at the records She asked me if I’d seen any Lee hazelwood/nancy Sinatra records. Which was kinda absurd considering what I thought I’d heard? Having these other “customers” there kind of kinda relaxed me. One of my friends bought a homemade bong and the other bought a super 8 camera. We got back in the car and I said to my friends “far out that was weird! Do you know what the guy said to me?” One of my friends said “yeah I heard what he said to you, I was behind you. He said “you’re gonna die”. “ After all these years, I don’t know what to make of this place/lawn sale. It was a weird alright. The death threat, the huge bonfire with beer bottles (almost like a shrine), cars and car parts scattered everywhere. Felt like a death trap but then they may of just been f’ing with us (ha ha) Anyone been here before? Any similar stories? Thanks

Hello! This is my first time posting on here. I appreciate any and all feedback anyone can give me!
There's a little bit of context I want to give before I lay out the story, but it is all relevant:
My husband M35 (I will call him PK) and I F31 work at a private school together. He is the principal of the school and I am the secretary. Part of our salary is that we can live on campus in teacher housing. Our home is visible from the school and most of the school is aware that we live in the home.
Since I am the school's secretary, I can access the school's phone lines on my cell phone. So when I am away from my desk, I can answer calls, check messages, etc. It was after school today when my cell phone started to buzz. Someone was trying to call the school. I was already home and working on something, so I decided to let it go to voicemail – sometimes parents will call to let someone know that they are running late, etc, and I can just inform the afterschool teachers later.
The ringing eventually stopped and they left a voicemail. I checked the voicemail and it was a man's voice saying, "Hey, this is F*** You, B***. Principal PK I know where you live and––" and then it cuts off. I had to play it a few times to be certain of what I heard, and I couldn't believe what I was hearing.
I immediately call my husband (who is on a work trip) to tell him about this, and he didn't seem too concerned, but he did call our local Sheriff and they said they would patrol the area and were looking into the phone number who left the voicemail. I also informed our administrator, who was looking into the phone number, as well.
Does this sound like a real threat? My husband seems to think it's someone who is trolling and trying to freak people out. But the fact that he knew my husband's name and said that he knew where he lived was something that really freaked me out.
I'm not sure what to think. I'm just constantly watching outside for someone to show up. I don't want to freak out but I don't want to relax too much either. Any thoughts on this?
Just some notes:

1. The authorities were called and the phone number was given to them.
2. I searched the phone number on every reverse-caller ID website I could and the results were all people that we didn't know. I have a feeling this person used a spoofed cell phone number.
3. I can't leave my house because I have two dogs and no car.

TL/DR: My husband received a strange, threatening voicemail and I am wondering if it is a possible scam or something I should be legitimately be scared about.

So my cousin came to visit my family this past week. It was just her it’s her first time visiting. She’s staying with my parents and my sister that’s a sophomore in high school. I live in my own house like 25min away.
I haven’t been able to go to my parents house all week but I finally went yesterday for Mother’s Day.
Apparently she hasn’t really came out of her room. I think because she’s really not that used to my family. I have always been close to my cousins dad and I would go and visit them in Florida often. I mostly hung out with him and her brother. I was always really nice and cool with them.
So when I went over she started coming out of the room more just felt more comfortable. I suggested we all go out for ice cream for Mother’s Day. So my parents, her, and my sister went. They went in their car and I went in my own car. As we are sitting in the ice cream shop nobody is talking. My parents aren’t talking my sister isn’t even making conversation with her. So I started talking asking about how school is going, her sports etc… I think she liked that and started talking a lot.
Then as we are leaving my cousin asks me if I’m going back to my parents house. I tell her I am and she asks infront of them if she can ride back with me. I tell her sure I think my parents were surprised, they don’t really know how close of a relationship I have to her dad.
So we ride back and we’re just talking about when they were little growing up playing video games etc..
When we get home, my parents haven’t gotten home yet. So I tell her well let’s go wait for them. As I’m starting to open my car she immediately asks me do you talk to anyone in Florida?
So her asking if she could ride back to my parents house with me and her asking that right as I’m reaching for my door made me think maybe she wanted to talk about something. So I tell her no, then she kind of starts telling me about things she doesn’t like with some of our family members in Florida. At this point I do feel kinda weird. I’m having a conversation with an 8th grader in my car and then my parents get home. And when my mom sees me and her inside the car talking. As everybody goes inside my mom starts making a waving motion for us to come inside. She did it in way where I could tell she might have been thinking something was strange.
After that we got out and went inside.
Later on she started asking about things to do in our city. One thing people in my city do is walk around this really close lake at night. There’s a hill there and you can see a cool view of the city. I told her we should take her. So I tell my parents and my sister to take my cousin to the lake. They agree but once we get there my parents didn’t want to walk around it. They’re getting older and there’s some steep hills around so they said they would just wait by a bench. My sister didn’t want to walk either.
We brought my cousin all this way and they didn’t want to walk with us. So I take her up to the hill we talk about the family I try to give some advice etc..
The whole thing has left me uneasy. With the way my mom reacted when she saw us in the car. Them seeing me really sociable with her at the ice cream place. I’m not that sociable with my own family but I saw her and her brother grow up. Me a 31 year old spending time with an 8th grader.
How her mom or dad could interpret “yeah I hung out with my 31 year old cousin.”
I don’t know why I feel this way I never meant to cross a line. I was just trying to be nice but the way things are now a days. People’s minds might have their own perspective.
TLDR: cousin came to visit from Florida. She’s been staying at my parents. She’s hasn’t really been the sociable this weeks until I finally went over this weekend. She feels really comfortable with me and she wanted to spend alot of time with me but it’s left me feeling uneasy on how people might think about that

Its been a crazy year so far, the world is heading in two directions and both forces are pulling equally in both directions. The neglected and the most abused people on the planet are coming into a new age of self determination away from colonial rule thanks to BRICKS. The average person in the west is under the impression that slavery and colonialism is over and get very annoyed with black people whenever the subject is brought up. They think black people should shut up about European history namely slavery, because there are no chains around black peoples necks anymore and are no longer lynched in the streets. They haven't realised that these practices still exist and is still going on, your governments just changed its form, the European is shielded from knowing because racism isn't aimed at the European, plus the European is shielded by its media. They think that because some black people have made a fortune in America, that all is well, and because of this they believe that racism no longer plays a role in regards to a black persons success in America or in Europe. How wrong they were. Just look at what's going on in Israel, you all got to see the real face of your governments. So black people are not making it up when they call out your racist government, they know what they know. I don't know if the European American has noticed, but black people are leaving America and have been for some time now, and going back to Africa. Your media have done such a number on its own people, where the average European and European American have no idea about the real world, outside of their own countries. The propaganda machine has totally screwed their own people over and has given their people the wrong impression of Africa. Africa is now a developing continent, and has places that will make America and the UK look and feel like a dungeons. Nobody in Africa has Debt. They all own their own homes bought with cash. Their cars and trucks are all owned and bought with cash. Africans no nothing about borrowing from a bank to buy a home or a car or for cash. They work hard and earn money, the money goes into a bank or a hole in the ground until they accumulate the amounts they need in order to buy something. These are disciplined people. The buildings and homes will make you weep, beautiful is a insufficient word to describe some of the homes people have in Africa. Yet if you ask someone from the west to describe their impression of Africa, what you will hear will be heart breaking and reflects a ignorant nation of people. Yet the European would call these people broke and poor. They are not the ones living on credit. the European lives off credit and thinks its a good thing. The European don't realise just how broke they really are. How can a government do that to their own people, to leave your people this ignorant is so you can easily control them. The way the western media describes Rwanda for e.g. is so messed up, have you seen Rwanda?? its no different to any western country, only it has better weather and beautiful scenery, its very modern if not, its more modern than the US and the UK combined. I have a question for the European. How would you expect a rapist to treat a woman? bare your answer in mind. Right! Now how would you expect a paedophile to treat a little boy? bare your answer in mind, Right! Now here's the big one, People who chose to own slaves, how would you expect them to treat other people? As white people you are stuck with this kind of human being within your ranks because these are your people, Your ancestors who owned slaves, their offspring now occupy positions of power within US and UK governments, the people you have handed full control over your lives to. The apple in this case hasn't fallen from the tree because it has never left the tree branch, such are the people you vote for. The European people in your government and media are every inch the racists and bigots their ancestors were. Money has afforded them the bad luck of never loosing the mindset that could own another human being. White people have been supporting these horrible people since their governments conception and did nothing to protect the offspring of those who were enslaved. The European loves to brag about how European ended slavery. The Europeans true sick mind is reflected in the weaponization of that so-called fact. The European wants recognition and pats on the back for ending slavery many years after enjoying 500 years of it. Make that make sense. its a lie of course. The European didn't end slavery, they conceded to the threats coming from the slave revolts that had taken over the plantations in the West Indies, they feared their slaves in the US would start to get ideas, so they ended slavery before their slaves revolted too, that decision sparked the American Civil War.. Today white people are losing the war on black people because black people stand up to governments, bigots and racists, plus we now have a real home to go back to, Africa is calling its people back to the continent, some countries are not even asking for visas for black returnees, plus their offering free citizenships and new passports. Your governments, being the demons that they are, will now focus all their attention on you, the people. Have the day you deserve
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QH_GdInGumI

Hi fellow SLPs, I’m in a really tough place and wanted to seek advice. Pronouns have been changed to protect the privacy of the student. Sorry if this is long-winded, I have a lot to think about.
This is my first year working in public schools. I work with a population of students with complex, high support needs. Mostly AAC, ID, autism, ASL. So far, I’ve had really collaborative parents. They’ve been so open to round table discussion. Lately, I’ve been butting heads against parents who still want to keep their kids in the sub-separate classroom or in therapy services when it is not indicated anymore. I feel this is a denial of FAPE and LRE.
One particular student (ASL is their first language, Deaf+) I’ve had this year has met all their goals (they only had one). The story I got from their staff was that the parent wanted to keep them in speech so they can learn to “speak.” My student has expressed within my speech sessions early on in the year that they do not want to speak. Their language is ASL and they are part of Deaf culture. Their ASL interpreters have affirmed my confusion about why we were working on an “maintaining pragmatic skills via interpreting figurative language” goal when that type of language gets lost in translation. However, they have done spectacular carrying over skills given exposure to figurative language and background knowledge (e.g., Translation of English idioms to ASL, teaching of figures of speech via video examples in ASL) and teaching it back in their own words in ASL. Staff have mentioned their previous SLP expressed frustration about how S/L services have not been appropriate for a while. Previous triennial testing indicated that they could not finish certain tests (e.g. GFTA-3) because they expressed they had a hard time producing sounds.
In a recent meeting for this student’s new IEP, the parent rejected the IEP because I proposed moving to a consult model. Student has met all goals, there are no language or pragmatic concerns, but the parent said they need to stay in speech because “(student) expressed they love speech” and the parent has concerns about communication outside of school in the community. These communication breakdowns occur in unfamiliar places (e.g., not paying attention to surroundings, eloping, not using the restroom or eating in unfamiliar places)…but would this not be a behavioral/psych target if their increased anxiety results in these concerns?
I do not want to give up on this student and want to support them the best I can. I do not think they will continue to benefit from direct therapy (plus having a TOD/ABA on top of speech in the mainstream classroom would be A LOT for this kid who already has anxiety and is a budding teenager who is intelligent and aware of their differences). I have loved and thoroughly enjoyed working with them. Of course I don’t want to let them go - I would work with them forever if I could. I just do not want to overstep my expertise. The student has expressed that they enjoy speech a lot, but this is not a reason to keep them in speech and I feel it is unethical (violation of LRE). Yes, I can target utilization of alternative means to communicate with hearing peers and adults in the community (I already baselined some data and student has fantastic communication repair skills, communicated beautifully via writing and typing). Student already uses the phone to communicate via text with adults and friends.
My ultimate concern is why the team is stepping around this issue to appease the parent when this is no longer in my domain of expertise? Yes, I can work on this skill via a push-in model, but to stretch it a whole year (like the current goal) when they already demonstrate the foundational communication skills at baseline? In addition, student expressed that communication needs in the community setting (e.g., ordering at a restaurant) are done by their family (hearing individuals). In order for this goal to have any impact (again, I am only a school SLP) the student needs the room and opportunity to be independent communicating with hearing individuals outside of the school in order to carryover this skill…
Honestly, I feel like I would be wasting their Medicaid, keeping the student in a more restrictive environment, and we are stuck in the same cycle again.
I appreciate whatever input I get deeply. Thank you for reading.
Note: Using my non-personal account for privacy reasons.

AITA for breaking up with my girlfriend when it will likely effect her health and wellbeing
I've been dating my international student girlfriend since December 2023. She's from a poor background, and I was drawn to her passion for political activism, hoping to grow in that area myself. Recently, her PCOS symptoms have worsened, affecting her health, but she's buried under activism and PhD work, barely able to care for herself. I've been supporting her by giving her my credit card for Ubers and food delivery, cooking for her occasionally, and covering whatever works I can for her, but our interactions have become mostly work.
We've had a few big fights, especially in April and May. During a conference in Hawaii, she asked me to ask her a question as an audience member but didn't specify. In trying to pay attention and think of a good question, I missed a text asking for a photo, and she berated me for hours, calling me privileged and incompetent and a manchild who needs to be spoonfed. She later apologized, and things seemed to improve for a few weeks.
Cut to a month later , on mother's Day I had plans to spend the day with my fam. However at the last minute she told me she needed me to come to a protest and bring food. I cooked until midnight the night before, made an excuse to my mom and spent the day driving back and forth between my parents and my gf. At 11:30 that night she asked me to drop off some groceries along with some medicine and a check.
To give you context on the check right before the Hawaii fight she asked to live together in september. I had concerns so I said I didn't want to yet. However she said given her finances this would really help. She asked how I could claim to love her when I wouldn't compromise to help her. I ended up compromising by offering to just pay her rent for the next year but live alone. This comes out to roughly 18k. I'm not rich. I am an engineer with decent savings so this wouldn't financially cripple me but it is definitely eating into my house down payment savings.
Anyways when I dropped off the stuff I made a joke about not getting any good pictures of her at the protest and she blew up at me about how I'm incompetent and making no strides to improve myself. This criticism extended to my hobbies like pub trivia and board game nights, which she deemed frivolous and a sign of my privilege to choose not to spend that time studying the political issues especially calling me a psychopath for doing this when a genocide is happening.
I felt cold and told her I don't plan to give up my frivolous activities. She called me an asshole but I said I don't care and just left. She blocked me on instagram. I don't know if it's explicitly a breakup but it feels like it.
I'm conflicted about how my decision might impact her, considering her health, financial situation, and lack of a support system in California. I'm unsure if I should have waited until she was better or back in her home country to end things. Am I the asshole for choosing to breakup right now when it might materially hurt her.

Hello, here goes my first post on reddit! We adopted a super affectionate male cat, Sky - he’s an Egyptian Mau mix who is a year and 2 months old. He was a stray rescue who was rescued by his foster mum and has lived as an indoor cat with her and 5 or so other cats for the past year. He was free fed on kibble and whiskers. We adopted him on 11th April 2024 and stuck to this feeding, and within the first week began adding raw food to his wet food. Since he didn't like different types of foods mixed even his kibble, I did the raw separately and he took to it straight away. At the moment, he’s fully on raw (Bella&Duke) and half a can of Lily's at nighttime for the past 3 weeks.
I'm fully aware that I made a mistake and I didn't transition slowly enough so please note that I know I messed up - I'm kindly just looking for advice from where to go from here to avoid further issues.
Even though he loves eating raw, he started going a bit crazy with carb withdrawals and constantly wanting our food. So we had to shut kitchen and living room doors when we cook and eat which means a lot of meowing started. I try my best to ignore the meows and only give him attention when he’s been good, but in sometimes telling him “no” or shutting him out, or him not getting our food etc I’ve noticed him going into hyper tantrums / zoomies, especially at night. This happens even after he’s had dinner. It could just be normal zoomies but I do feel he does it as a attention tactic maybe.
To help calm his food anxiety which seems to be alot, I’ve been feeding him small amounts regularly: 4 times a day for the past 2 or so weeks now - 7am - 1pm - 7pm and half a can/raw snack around 11pm - midnight before bed. He is also eating a bit more than he should to try and help him feel fuller from the lack of carbs but none of this has see, to really help much. It did calm him down a bit but recently he’s been acting up again. He's being clicker trained, has treat toys, sometimes raw treats (hearts etc) and we play with him 3/4 times a day but he still doesn't seem fully satisfied; acting hungry, pawing at our food bin, running to the kitchen 90% time we go in there, reacting to any wrapper sound, going for our food no matter what we try to do etc. We’ve tried no and removing him, which kinda works but often doesn’t.
So what do we do? I don’t want to go back to kibble and I can’t free feed raw, but I also don’t want this food behaviour to worsen or for him to be stressed onto of the stress he might be having in our new home etc. I know he's a rescue so he might have food seeking or scarcity mentality and that I made a mistake in the sudden diet / routine shift, but is there any advice on how it would be best to go forward?

So I am not sure if I have abilities others don't or if I am more sensitive than the average person,
Background, I grew up in a haunted house but never experienced anything really outside of feeling like someone may be watching me, I had heard from other family what they had experienced when I was too young to remember.
As I got older I have always been different from most, however I have some mental issues, bipolar,ptsd,anxiety,addiction
I've always had vary vivid dreams from a young age, as I've gotten older I was very depressed and stuck to myself being homeschooled after the fith grade, I got into drugs at 17 and became addicted to various substances plus my mental illness went wild, however I no longer take substances outside of cannabis and mushrooms. I'm also as stable as I can been on medications.
As I moved out of the house at 13 to another I would get nightmares being in the old house and I would be getting tormented by spirits, It started as just a haunted house trying to scare me, then I got mad because of the occurrence and would be in a vivid dream taunting it, never really winning it would laugh or only show itself when it wanted to not me.
In my dreams I will see my loved ones like normal but be able to tell that isn't them and will notice and then my dreams get weird and I either wake up or try to get away, I'm aware now and don't get them as often but it was terrifying at a point.
I got into reading the satanic bible, lucifieran bible and necronomicon, at one point, during this I had a vivid dream I wasn't on this planet and went to a place that was dark with odd terain and glowing green water, however I had a dream I was going into a church and instead of a normal pastor it was a demonic one and had a cloak over his face , I had a rosary with a bone and gave it to him, accepting that I don't have power in my dreams and am sorry for taunting the spirits in my reoccurring nightmares, it went down to know I only have them rarely and know what's going on everytime it happens again.
During my addictions I have experienced sleep paralysis and it was terrifying, like a demonic smoke figure in a cloak looking at me feeding of the fear,
I have had my aunt pass and visit me in my dreams, I have had my grandpa pass and visit me in my dreams, I didn't get to say goodbye, and got closure in my dream, I woke up feeling like the hug was real.
I knew the night before my grandpa passed he was going to had a gut feeling but I decided not to follow that instinct, next morning I woke up to uncle banging the door however my dream was a old guy in a room that didn't have anything, just sitting infront of me no conversation, woke up and my grandpa was gone, feel it was him but didn't wanna show me it was him yet.
Anymore my nightmares if I have them are usually still in the old house and has to do with a spirit trying to take the shape of my loved ones, I have never seen the spirit responsible, only felt it in my dreams and heard laughs when I try to be more powerful than it.
Not super long ago I had a dream a tornado was coming for me at my current house, we had stroms not super long after and while it wasn't my house it hit 30 minutes away from me and my girlfriends step dads house got hit.
I feel like I am sensitive to energy, I can sense the feelings of being watched at times, getting goosebumps and hair standing up not due to the cold but somthing around, especially when I talk to people or give them tarot card readings, I can end up with my hairs standing or goosebumps if the conversation felt like it resonates with me.
I have an amazing relationship with my girlfriend, we I belive are twin flames, so similar, almost like we can read eachothers minds at times and say the same things at the same time often or can guess what she's about to say at times, but I also feel whenever her energy shifts and so does she if mine shifts.
I can sense if a person is good or bad, I can also at times sense somthing bad a long time in advance before it actually happens. Unfortunately.
One of the best new experiences I have had was taking mushrooms with my girlfriend for healing, I do it somewhat often, helped with grief , addictions, mental health, spirituality,
It brings us closer together and helps us both to heal, I didn't know it was possible but we managed to be able to use our energy on eachother while tripping and have what feels like full on sex without any touching involved, it can last for a long time too, this has happened the last 3-4 times we have tripped once we discovered how to tap into each other's minds. It's almost better than having actual sex, I feel like we leave our bodies and full on merge together as one during this time.
Now this is were it gets weird , a few days back we went to a place in amish country and once inside I noticed it felt off, however to not waste money and with everyone posting such good reviews figured we would stay and take mushrooms for healing as we do about once every month - 2 months,
I had the feeling in this house that the loft and basement were bad places to be, like being watched and feeling like there was somthing in this house, not sure what but something the first floor felt the best but still uneasy,
We had grabbed a clock from downstairs, plugged things into this one outlet next to the stairs and clock prior to taking mushrooms, they were charging, clock worked. Outlet worked, downstairs had a weird sad vibe to it ,weird musty smell also Sulphur smells randomly and even the water smelled like Sulphur there was a hornet in the toilet when we got there and had to flush it, also was 2 stains on the cieling in basement, not sure if it was water leak or if someone may have passed in the house and it soaked thru the ceiling of basement.
We wanted to paint eachother as we took the mushrooms, we did this until they started to kick in and once they kicked in we went and started fear and loathing in lost vegas, once I started getting closed eye visuals and working on my innerwork, my girlfriend felt like she wanted to go downstairs to lay in bed,
We stayed in bed holding eachother , bonding, eventually tuning into eachothers energy having sex without actually having it, then we couldn't hold back anymore and actually had sex, however we stayed down there until the trip wore off, it was about 3 am and everything switched on us.
She was feeling really sad and like she wanted to leave this place, I felt like I was being watched down there and somthing bad had happened in the past, I went to go upstairs was kinda afraid to alone but eventually went upstairs because she wouldn't at the time, tried to charge my phone and the outlet and clock didn't work anymore, I had been talking about leaving the house because she was feeling targeted and I felt like it didn't like either of us but like it wanted to feed off her if she went to sleep.
We went upstairs at a point and when I was asking if there were spirit's in the house and that if so I meant no disrespect and will only be staying until we could leave in the morning safely, as I would talk about the spirits seemed like my girlfriend would feel sick, same as being in the bed, very sad while downstairs.
I opened a bible and it was weird it didn't even feel like real paper , it also was moving by itself somewhat like working against me or moving for me to point out things, the clock on the wall was moving way faster than normal after this,
I tried getting her to leave , I didn't want to stay anylonger but knew we had to wait until sunlight atleast, she fell asleep and I was sitting next to her in this erie basement, had to turn the fan on because felt like if it was quiet I would loose it, what's not normal is the fact that she went to sleep and didn't really move, make sounds or anything like usual. I felt like I could hear people upstairs as she was asleep, almost like music was playing or a man signing and it was on repeat it would come and go, such low volume but also loud , the fan in the mix didn't help but I didn't wanna hear it anylouder.
I ended up trying to sleep and kinda did for a few hours but no dream I was hoping I would have a vivid dream of what happened in this house.
In the morning got our stuff packed up and left, before leaving I had used a ghost box. Told the spirit we were about to leave and as my girlfriend was going to the car it talked, then when she came back inside I left the ghostbox going and it talked while we were both there. I told it that we are leaving and this is your house but you are not welcome to come with us. Right as I opened the door I got a whiff of sulphur and as we left the house sulphur smell followed for a while.
Went to a shop got sage, used it before we got home, then yesterday unpacked from our trip and I made the joke about hopefully nothing came back with us from there. I went fishing and used the scissors from the house, i forgot to put them back so I have them. I saged our room, bags, clothes and once I found it left it outside in our burn barrel, didn't wanna risk it being in the house.
Last night we should have gotten good rest tho and we did not so I wonder if it had to do with those scissors coming from that house. 🤔
Anyways, long story but honest opinion would be helpful and on top of that if theres a way to strengthen my senses and all that would love to know!

My (22F) boyfriend (23M) left me officially last week. He originally broke up with me back in July, be we reconciled and were working towards bettering our relationship. Let's just say, after the first breakup, he changed as a person and became extremely secretive of anything and everything. The way he treated me this past year compared to the following years are an extreme difference, and it was noticeable. He honestly treated my horribly, always leading me on and changing plans and juggling my feelings. I tried changing for him, which I now realize didn't help at all. I tried to do things to bring that spark back between us since I could tell it wasn't the same as it used to be.
I feel like I did everything in my power to change the outcome of our relationship this past year, but it didn't seem to make a difference for him. I made several attempts to mend our very broken relationship, but I slowly became a bundle of anxiety and sadness since the first breakup, always fearful that he would leave me again and I made him aware of my feelings.
After being secretive for some time and untruthful about many things, he left me for the last time just this past Saturday. It feels surreal considering the fact that I expected him to be my husband and to grow old with me. We made plans to spend the rest of our lives together, but he was actually cheating on me this entire past year with his manager (31F). He basically promised me a future and that we would be together, but I also found out he had been doing the same for this other woman.
So, now that he is permanently gone and has moved on so quickly, I could really use some advice on how I can move on myself. I relied on him so much the last two years emotionally, which I admitted to being at fault for in the past. I just feel so lost since he basically ripped our possible future together right out of my hands and will possibly live out that future with his new girl. It seemed like he really loved her, and any love for me had completely disappeared. Any tips on getting over this situation and learning to love myself and my alone time would be greatly appreciated. I struggle with just going out of the house by myself now, only leaving for work. Thanks for anyone who read any of this.

Edited: The title was supposed to say that: I may be a Petty jerk, but at least I got away from a toxic "friend. Auto correct changed it to Jersey, and I couldn't edit the actual title.
Fair Warning, this is going to be a LONG post, but I will try to dilute it as much as possible.
About 12 years ago I left the world of retail (of which I have MANY stories) to begin a career in childcare. Some people prefer different titles, Nanny, Babysitter, Parents' Helper, Childcare Provider, etc. To be honest each of those titles are suitable in different situations.
The first family that I Nannied for went on for about 4 years, and then on again off again for another year. Through this family, I met "Wendy" and her family. Wendy went out of her way to be friendly with me, and would often ask me to babysit her kids (B5 and G1).
At one point, I had moved on to working with another family for a few months. Sadly, that ended due to the parents getting a divorce, and they moved further away.
Wendy found out that I was unemployed and asked that I Nanny for her kids. She was also pregnant with her 3rd at the time. I agreed at a slightly discounted rate because we were "friends". I realized too late that that was a HUGE mistake on my part.
Wendy's live in boyfriend "Cole" also had 3 kids from a previous relationship. B15, G8, and G6 lived with their mother. Yes, am aware of the closeness in age of Wendy and Cole' B5 and his G6. I chose to keep my mouth shut.
Now prepare yourselves for the Rollercoaster of emotions I dealt with with this family.
Initially, both Wendy and Cole were employed. I would come over 5 days a week for 8 to 10 hour days, depending upon whether Wendy got home on time. Here is where my discounted rate bit me in the butt.... $300 a week was still complained about. Wendy asked that I not leave Cole alone with their kids because he basically ignored them and refused to change diapers. I felt pretty icky about that, but agreed. Now I lived 45 minutes away without traffic. I would often leave my house early in anticipation of possible traffic. If I arrived early, I wasn't allowed in until she our alloted time of 7am. I didn't have a key, and would often be left waiting on the porch an extra 15 minutes past our time. If I knew I was too early, I parked around the corner and ate breakfast. Wendy and Cole both got very irritated if I wasn't their door precisely at 7 am. It was a headache that I chose to avoid.
Over the first month, I realized that G2 was emotionally abused by Wendy. She constantly said to or in front of the child how much she hated dealing with the wild child. How she wished G2 was more well behaved like B5. She even wrote unkind things on Facebook, asking someone to take her on the weekend while I was off.
This took a toll on poor G2, obviously. She would get violent with me first thing in the mornings : Hitting, kicking, biting, pulling my hair, throwing things at me, or what ever popped into her mind. Eventually, once Wendy left for work G2 would calm down and become an absolute delight.
When B5 started school, Wendy took a new job that allowed her to work from home at times. Those were not fun days! I asked if I could bring G2 to my house where I have an outdoor play area, a playroom, plenty of kid movies, crafts, books, music, and local playgrounds. At first the car rides were torture with G2 screaming bloody murder for at least half of the 45 minute drive. When she got used to the new routine, those drives became pleasant. Her violent tendencies disappeared when we were spending the days at my home. The drawback was that I also had to drive her home in time to get B5 off the bus.
During school breaks, I also had B5, and if they were visiting G8 and G6. B15 stayed at Wendy's house and just did his own thing. If you thought G2 was torture in toddler form, these two girls would have made Nanny McPhee grow a few more moles, a hunch back, and closed feet.
B5 would get a little bored, being that he was the only boy that was understandable. I purchased an array of boy friendlier toys to entertain him. I already had a lot of girl friendly toys either purchased or gifted from the first family that I had worked with. Of course I had plenty of gender neutral items too.
Wendy and Cole didn't give 2 sh*ts and a shave if the kids watched TV all day, went out to a playground or museum, or were driven 2 hours away, as long as I got them home on time. I easily spent an entire paycheck on activities, gas, food (which they didn't pack), and toys over 2 weeks watching all 4 kids. By the by, when asked for additional money when I did have all 4, Wendy not so politely informed me that the kids are entertain each other, so my job should be easier with all 4.
My husband and I discussed a few times whether I should look for something else. Inevitably the people pleaser in me actually felt guilty even considering it. Yup, I was apparently a glutton for punishment. Gratefully, my income was just extra, for an nice meal out occasionally, gifts for birthdays and holiday, extra hobbies, and basic groceries.
Just before Wendy gave birth to their new baby, she became unemployed. Logically, one would think this was my easy out. NOPE!! I became more of a Mother's Helper / Nanny. At this point Wendy and Cole were beginning to look for a larger house to rent. I did more walk through than I can count. She even asked me to tour a couple without her, and to bring G2 and B5 so she could get her nails done and take a nap. (Seriously, I toured houses on her list without her!)
As we spent more and more time together, I began to learn FAR FAR more about her bedroom life than I could ever desire. G2 and I spent much less time in the peace of my home, and way too much in Wendy's company. G2's behavior began to deteriorate slowly, causing Wendy to lose her temper with her far too easily. This completely broke my heart. I TRIED to redirect them both, and expressed my concern to Wendy. Of course, she then turned her anger towards me.
Wendy would openly discuss her theories about Cole in front of her kids. She claimed that he was cheating on her with his ex because he would shower immediately after seeing her to pick up or drop off the kids. He often made those drives directly after work though. Maybe he was cheating, maybe not. I honestly don't know.
Wendy also enjoyed gossiping about absolutely anybody. The parents of the first family that worked with were having marital issues. This was a favorite topic of hers. Wendy told me about every unkind word her mother uttered in her direction. The apple obviously didn't fall far from the tree here. I was told lots of personal information about people I didn't know. The gossip made me very uncomfortable. I told her that I would prefer we not discuss the lives of people who weren't around to speak on their own behalf. This fell on deaf ears.
I became quite used to her disapproval of my loose fitting jeans and T-shirts. Working with kids, I found my favorite cartoon prints were just as possible with my tiny charges. I NEVER wear makeup or heels because I simply don't want to. My dresses always have leggings under them because it make me feel less vulnerable. I never wear shorts or above the knee skirts/dresses. That's a ME thing, not religious or cultural. I find my "uniform" of choice is ideal for working with kids. Wendy informed me more than once that it embarrassed her to be seen in public with me. She often insisted that I wear something of hers if we had to go anywhere.
My husband enjoys photography, particularly long exposure which is done at night. He has a lot of photography friends of both genders, but his best friend is a female. He also enjoys concerts and kayaking, often with an ex from high school. (He graduated in 1997). I trust my husband and have no problem with him spending time with his friends. Enter Wendy's whispers of accusations. She often "jokingly" accused him of cheating on me with these female friends. I don't enjoy concerts, crowds, or being out late; so I support his doing with people who do. At least I know he with someone if something happens. I have bad knees, which make getting in and out of a kayak difficult. Why should that stop him? Again, I told her that I trust him and that I don't appreciate her accusations joke or not. This annoyed her because she doesn't trust Cole.
I know these are major red flag issues. I know how toxic being subjected to these comments is. I also know how difficult it would be on their kids if I left too soon. I knew they needed someone who wasn't emotionally cruel. I stayed for them.
My husband and I spent 2 of our weekends helping them pack and move to house that ended up 15 minutes from us. We were thanked by words, but that was the extent of the gratitude. Wendy's mother looked after the kids while we helped them move. This was complained about because I was already paid to watch the kids during the week. Insert eye roll here!! Her mom felt my husband should be willing to help them move while I watched the kids on the weekend for no extra pay. Either way, we were doing them a HUGE favor to begin with.
A family that I had briefly Nannied for prior to working for Wendy asked if I could help out every other Saturday. The dad (Nice Guy) traveled a lot for work leaving the Mom (Angelface) home alone with the kids. She just needed a day to run errands, work out, and just have time to herself. Angelface is one of the kindest women on this planet. When I did Nanny for them (2 days a week), she was in tears when she had to let me go. They couldn't justify the outgoing money at the time. She referred me to several friends. I am legitimately friend with this family, and still babysit sporadically.
Through a random discussion, I told Wendy about working with Angelface on every other Saturday. She began to tell me what to charge, how many hours to work, and what days to leave open for her just in case. Insert headache inducing eyerolls!
One Friday, Wendy's cousin arrived for a weekend visit with her baby. Wendy told me that because it was a holiday weekend I would not be needed until Tuesday. I double checked via text, and she confirmed that she and Cole were taking the kids to the beach with her cousin. Monday morning I got a call from a passed off Wendy asking where I am. I reminded her that she had told me that they would not need me. I even took a screen shot of our text. She said that Cole had decided to work Monday anyway so she was alone with HER kids. This pissed me off, so I lied. I told her that I was out of town with my mom and wouldn't be home until 5 or 6 pm. She went on about how much of an inconvenience it was to her, and I should have checked before going out of town. For the second time, I sent her a screenshot of my text verifying that I wasn't needed Monday. She abruptly ended the call saying to just be sure to be on time Tuesday. I had NEVER been late, but opted to mention that as we hung up.
Over time we worked out a new arrangement where I brought now G3 to my house 2 days a week, and we stayed there 3 days a week. I helped with cleaning, errands, helped with the new baby (NB), etc. Mostly, I was Wendy's sounding board. She continued to accuse Cole of cheating, wasting money, and even beating her.
My husband and I offered to let her and the kids stay with us, but she declined. Wendy even told me that since she was so sure Cole was cheating, she was going to find herself a side boyfriend to cheat with. I tried to talk her out of it, to no avail. Sadly, she spoke openly about her new boyfriend in fron of G3. During one of her rants I learned that my pay came from him selling drugs. GULP!!
While cleaning out the couch one day, I came across a loaded gun kept in the couch console thing, along with baggies of pills, "dried plants", and white powder. This completely freaked me out. 2 small children and a soon to be crawling baby sat and played on and around that couch. I STRONGLY considered calling Child Pretective Services and the police. I quickly realized that if I did, they would know it was me. I regret it, but I feared their possible retaliation towards us.
Shortly after finding these thing Cole quit his job. For several months while I worked for them, they were both unemployed. Again, I thought it was an easy out. NOPE AGAIN! For another 3 months, they insisted that they couldn't take care of the house and kids without my help. Very often, I arrived to find now B6 fending for himself for breakfast and getting ready for school. He was told to wake up and unlock the door for me, but they went back to sleep. I was expected to keep the baby from crying, and to keep G3 quiet and entertained until they came downstairs. I often chose to simply take both to my house so we could play naturally. We had a crib, so this wasn't a problem for NB. G3 would just nap on the couch or my bed. When out of school B6 preferred this too. This really should have told Wendy and Cole something about their kids, but of course not.
FINALLY, I was informed after about a year of working for them, they could no longer justify paying me. At this point, I had often considered quitting anyway. I mainly stayed because my heart broke for the kids. However, based on her gossipy and judgmental nature ... not to mention my little 3 day weekend fail; I was concerned about what kind of reference Wendy would provide if I chose to quit.
So in 2019, I found myself happily unemployed. The timing here worked out beautifully because Angelface knew neighbors due to have their first baby in 2020. I ended up working for this lovely family until August of 2023. The mom (Joy) and the Dad (Mr. Cool) were such a relief to my entire mental and physical health. We became friends as well, and over time I told them about Wendy. Between Joy, Angelface, Mr. Cool, Nice Guy, my husband, and family I began to realize just hoe toxic Wendy really was to my mental health. My husband never liked her but understood my feelings towards the kids.
For almost a year Wendy would randomly call or FaceTime me .... more often than not while drunk. She would rave about how much she and the kids missed me. We would get together for a meal, and she had me over for a couple birthday parties for the kids. I found myself almost always being the only sober adult watching the kids as the adults partied. Wendy often went back to her gossiping, trash talking, and "jokes" about my husband spending time with women. She would offer underhanded compliments. "It's so nice to see you wearing a dress instead of those tacky T-shirts." You get the drift. She even INFORMED me that since her neighbor was pregnant I could quit my job with Joy and Mr. Cool. She had told her neighbor that I would work for her now, and since they were next door, I would watch her own kids too. I shut that down saying that I was quite happy working with Joy and Mr. Cool. I even lied about what they paid thinking it would detur her further. NOPE yet again. She said that I should quit anyway so her life would be easier with me around. Once more, I told her that wasn't going to happen.
AT LONG LAST, I am coming to the end of my tortuous endurment with Wendy.
A week later, she called and asked if I had quit yet. I said that I had no intention of leaving an "$800" a week job. (Not even close to that with my 3 day a week job, but she didn't need to know the truth.) She told me to let her know when I quit, then changed the subject towards gossiping about that first family and their problems. I told her that I don't feel comfortable gossiping about people who can't speak for themselves. That pissed her off, so she turned it on me again. She said of course I don't want to talk about them since my husband was cheating on me with 2 different women. I angrily corrected her. She has no reason to think my husband is cheating, and I trust him and our friends. Just because she thinks her boyfriend cheats, and she cheats, that doesn't mean everybody does. She then said we could talk when I calmed down and after I quit my job.
After hanging up, I proceeded to block Wendy on everything! Facebook, phone calls, texting, face timing, Instagram, and even Snapchat (which I hadn't used in over a year). I also blocked her mom, and any body that had been friendly simply because Wendy knew them and wanted me to have their information too. I gave her no warning at all. I was beyond passed off, and refused to be talked out of my very gratifying decision.
I told my husband, family, and friends that was now free of Wendy. Not a single person tried to tell me to make ammends. The only guilt that I feel is towards those poor kids. For once though, I put myself first. Joy and Angelface were both extremely supportive when I told them that I had Ghosted Wendy. Both even mentioned how proud they were of me for FINALLY truly stand-up for myself. They were NOT fans of Wendy!!!
I never ended up quitting my job with Joy and Mr. Cool inorder to babysit Wendy's neighbor. I also continued to babysit for Angelface and Nice Guy.
About 7 or 8 months ago, I ran into Wendy at a playground between our two homes. She was with now G5 and B2. I had Joy and Mr. Cool's daughter with me. I was polite, almost obscenely so. I was friendly towards the kids, who were stand off-ish. I offered to let Little Miss play with them, but they weren't interested. Little Miss wanted to do her own thing, so off we went to play. We left after only 15 minutes because Little Miss said "that lady" is scaring her.
That night, my husband got a Facebook message from Wendy. She described my cruelty towards her kids by ignoring them. She said that it was so hateful that I blocked her on everything after all she had done for us. This message went on and on. My husband left it unread for months before my morbid curiosity caused me to open the silly thing. We never responded, but instead he finally bl9cked her too.
Ok, if you read that bloody novel of a post, you are a ROCK STAR!! I don't have any regrets towards my eventual choice, except towards the kids. It breaks my heart knowing what kind of parents they are enduring. I often regret not calling CPS, but there isn't a shadow of doubt that would have retaliated .... most likely violently.
I did eventually get back in contact with that very first Nanny family. They had indeed broken up, but both are happier and healthier now. I warned them that Wendy enjoyed gossiping and spreading rumors about them. Neither were surprised, and both had broken contact with Wendy long ago. They supported my choice to break ties with her as well. Shocking, right!?!
I no longer work full time for Joy and Mr. Cool, as they wanted Little Miss to get used to being around more kids before starting school. I do still sporadically babysit for them and Angelface and Nice Guy though. The two couples have referred me to several other families in the neighborhood, so I stay pretty busy with much more sane individuals.
Maybe I was a jerk, and petty. I'm cool with being thought of that way towards Wendy. At least now, I have much kinder people in my life.

I don’t know what to do with myself anymore. I feel like I am pretending to live my life. I can’t believe I am never gonna get to share what happened at work with him, some happy news. Or a tik tok of a cute cat. I can’t believe i will never smell his scent again or lie next to him. Or tell him i love him. I just can’t. I can’t believe I will never kiss him goodbye in his car again. Or blow him a kiss on the phone after saying good night. I miss him so much. I miss my best friend. I can’t believe he left me. Even a thought of another man disgusts me. He wasn’t perfect but he was perfect enough to me. And now he is gone, just like that. I don’t know what he is feeling, thinking, dreaming. Is he happy or sad? So much of my heart, given to him and he took it and smashed it into pieces.

My husband of 15 years (20 total) is a first responder who buys a 24-pack at least once a week and sits outside with his music as I conduct all the business of the family/kids. I make the dinners, support all the homework, cleaning, etc. I also work full time from home.
He is a first responder so he only works about 7-9 days per month. The days he’s off, he’s doing his projects around the house and in the backyard, etc. Today he had 4 tall beers by 2:30pm, while I was on work meetings and such.
We have no more intimacy because I am truly disgusted by the obsession w/ (his first love) beer.
He is in total denial and always blames it on this or that stress, etc. Won’t get any sort of help.
So then there’s me… I am on the path of feeling like an enabler. I don’t want my kids to see this as normalized in any way. I didn’t grow up with alcoholic parents so it’s foreign to me. Sadly, it’s becoming familiar for my own offspring.
Since it has already been a few years of this quite consistently, I dream of leaving and start fresh with my kids but of course I worry if I’ll have glimmers of regret.
I also feel really trapped because if we do a legal separation/divorce on paper, he’ll get some kind of periodic custody of course, and that worries me in his state of being inebriated 60-80% of the time that he’s not working. The courts aren’t well known to give a f*** about this kind of stuff, nor do I want to roll the dice with it.
Has anyone dealt with this on, I guess, either side of the equation?

i don't know if this is the correct approach, but lately i've been asking my uncle "what is gonna happen then?" when he tries to correct my approaches to anything around the house. it's all usually related to the kitchen and cooking, but the man cannot cook for the life of him, so i really don't know where got the idea that he can correct me on something i'm proficient on, while his command is tragic at best.
he's always micromanaging me around the kitchen, sometimes just straight up doing shit without asking me, such as throwing away food, that i was about to use (stems from welsh onions that i use as a substitute for chives for instance, but im probably washing a dish so can i chop them after having an available dish to chop them on. also i haaaaate wasting food) or going around giving me what he thinks are harmless "suggestions" that if isolated would probably not bother me at all, but it's the incessantness and repetitiveness of the whole thing is what makes me lose my shit over it. i could have the stove on the lowest setting, slow simmering something and just waiting while also not staring directly at the stove for its duration, which can be hours sometimes but you know, i'm still in the kitchen or in its immediate proximity, i have an alarm on, what have you, but i know what i am doing (i think he thinks i have to stare directly into the stove for hours while slow simmering something lest i BURN DOWN THE WHOLE BLOCK). the man ALWAYS comes in to ask IF I KNOW that i have the stove on lmaoooooo, like what sort of ditzy airhead does he take me for? sometimes i'm extra mindful because i'm super hungry, how could i possibly forget that i'm cooking? just infuriating.
for instance, just a few minutes ago, he tipped me on a plate of habaneros i had slow fried for a crunchy caramelized texture. they have to be cooled off at room temperature for a while so they harden, i was mindful but at the same time casual about it because, i mean: what is actually gonna happen? like what kind of catastrophe will inevitably ensue? (hint: nothing, none). well he came up to me and said "you forgot your chiles, put them away" (general gist of what he told me, but i want to emphasize the usual jittery, borderline terrified pushy demeanor) and i was like "and what about them? they're cooling off, it is intentional, what do you think is going to happen if left on the counter for a few minutes?" he responded with a bunch of nonsense answers but at the same time it was as if he confronted himself with his own ridiculousness and at some point just finally left me alone, went to his room and stopped micromanaging lmao.

Why did the farmer visit the pharmacy? To speak with the farm-assist.
Hi and welcome to my post! Wanted to start off with a funny to me dad joke.
Nice to meet you, I'm Dylan! To put it simple, I am a single 22 year old man who has been pretty lonely in life and lacking in female connection and interaction. And part of what comes with that is the desire to be intimate with a person. I am very mature for my age and will always be respectful of your boundaries and feelings, especially with anything sexual. Lately all I have is myself when it comes to sexual desires, so I would like to have someone to keep company with in that regard too.
I'm just relaxing at work since there's nothing really going on and thinking about going home tonight and burning a woodwick candle. Perfect for when there's a storm outside. I love candles! 🕯️ Sometimes a campfire outside on a fall night or a crackling WoodWick candle is a relaxing constant among our busy and hectic world. It's nice to just disconnect, feel grounded and happy in your own little cozy space. Feeling calm and collected and at peace. Something that fewer people take the time to do these days.
I am seeking a woman around my age or older to build a close connection with that could possibly lead to a relationship and something intimate which includes the possibility of teasing/sharing pics etc. but only when we were comfortable. Figured I would be open in my Intentions as that's the best way to be.
You:
Kind, respectful, and easy going.
Comfortable with the idea of eventually sharing intimate things together.
Willing to eventually move off of Reddit.
Want something genuine and fun!
Are honest in your intentions and a good person to be around!
That's about it, we will get along great I know it.
I've been feeling a little bummed out lately. I always try and stay happy and see the best in things. But.. I've just been so alone. Most of my whole childhood and adult years have been spent feeling lonely. I grew up surrounded by cornfields which was peaceful but also has a lonely aspect to it. My family never really were close and never did anything as a family really. And part of it too is the fact that I never had any neighbors my age to interact with. But aside from that, my adult life has been very lonely. I'm just always by myself. I barely have any meaningful adult relationships or experiences, or even any friends.
I work a 3-11 job in building maintenance at my company world headquarters building which I love, but again it's very lonely. I work the off shift so the building is always empty. I don't get normal social interaction with people my age or a chance to build relationships. I only have 3 older men as co-workers and we are mostly in the basement away from any people on the floors from knowing our existence. I always walk the floors and see office people laughing and chatting with their coworkers and I just don't have that kind of experience. And just.. no one knows I exist really. Everyone probably assumes I have a lot of friends, but I'm struggling inside with being so alone and trying to meet people and get past the "hi how are you?" "I'm good thanks" stage. Most people don't seem to want to talk beyond that. And most women are already in relationships and thus it would seem weird to approach them in an office setting trying to get to know them deeper. But man those "hi how are yous" are the only real interactions I get during my day.. so thus I decided to come here lol. Rant over, sorry! I promise I'm not a downer. 😅
Now for some things about me!
As you can tell, I am very mature for my age and am polite and have good grammar which unfortunately not everyone my age does anymore lol. I am not active at all on social media/internet culture really and don't know much about all the slang the younger people these days use. I feel like I'm 50. 🤣
I am left handed which is pretty cool. I'm not much of a party person or a drinker, I much prefer a quiet night at home and maybe a beer or two on a weekend but that's about it. I am simple and stay out of drama and trouble and don't get much into politics or other things that cause drama with people. I much prefer a relaxing campfire and a night at home and to just let the world keep on turning haha. I consider myself pretty intelligent and mature, especially for my age which is why I'm open to older ladies.
Physically I'm 180 pounds, have brown hair, green eyes, and a typical build. There's a few pictures on my profile.
Some of my hobbies are:
• Photography
I have a Nikon D200 and D5500 that I love to shoot with. I love nature scenes, abstract, black and white/goth kinda photography, sunsets, etc. it's so fun to just let your mind explore. It's not about what camera you have, but those who are behind the camera! I'm gonna try and photograph the northern lights tonight!
• Cooking and baking
I loveeee to cook and bake! I enjoy making various meals but also love to just have a frozen pizza once in awhile or something like that. I recently made homemade chili which turned out great. I love to bake, especially in the fall! I love pies, cakes, pastries, cookies, etc. I restored a vintage KitchenAid mixer that needed tbe gearbox rebuilt. Eventually I would love to practice home canning my own food.
• Music
Oh my gosh, I like so much!! Alternative rock, punk, post punk, electronic, synth pop, psychedelic rock, hard rock, etc. I am very non judgemental and open when it comes to music. My three current favorite bands are Type O Negative, Joy Division, and the Cure.
• Nature walks and camping
I really enjoy camping, making fires, and relaxing by a campfire. I love to take walks outside and just enjoy the beauty and simplicity of nature. It's wonderful, especially in a world so focused on everything digital.
• Repairing things
I'm a maintenance guy and one of my hobbies is electronics repair so I am good with my hands and just all around good at troubleshooting and fixing all sorts of things around the house. Last week I helped my elderly neighbor get his tractor started, it needed a new component in the starting circuit. So I'm pretty handy which... Comes in handy! 😂
• Autumn 🍁
This isn't a hobby per say, but man do I love the fall!!! It's my absolute favorite time of the year. Oh my gosh. The beautiful colors, crisp cool air, misty and foggy days, rain, lack of bugs, being cuddled up with a candle or by the fire drinking a tea, etc. I love it! There's only two seasons for me. Fall, and waiting for fall! Haha.
• Scented Candles and incense
Going along with my love for fall, I absolutely love candles! I have like 30 something lol. 😂 Currently my favorite are WoodWick, which are owned by Yankee candle. They have such a soothing crackle and the scents are great! I also love to burn incense from time to time as well. I have cottagecore hippie vibes.
• Old houses and architecture
I love old houses! Especially 1900s and Victorian era homes. Old homes have so much character to them and are just so beautiful from a time when people took pride in their craft. I strongly dislike the modern cookie cutter cheap construction of homes today. I would love to live in an old home one day. I also love their architecture and uniqueness, as well as architecture of old cathedrals and other buildings.
• Relaxing
Basic I know, but sometimes on the weekend I just love to get cozy in bed and relax and put on a YouTube video or an album! 😊
That's about it for me, I'm a pretty laid back and simple person. My ideal person is someone who is respectful and honest! I am very straightforward and open minded and would hope that you are as well.
If I seem interesting to you at all I would love to hear from you!
Thank you so much for reading.

My friend (M) and I (trans male) went to my parents' house for Mother's Day. My mom is fine with my pronouns, but she won't use my chosen name. My stepdad is a whole other story. Refuses to use my pronouns, calls me my dead name, and sometimes he slaps my ass.
My friend's wife just left him, and he didn't want to be alone, I needed backup. Win-win. I outted myself to him (he thought I was cis) and explained the situation. He was so cool with all of it! We told my mom he's my bf, just so it wasn't weird.
We go to my mom's house and of course the misgendering starts, but my friend decides to just...play dumb! The entire time. They misgendered me? He'd question them about who they were talking to until they were forced to call me "he" or "they".
Did the same with my chosen name. My mom caught on quickly and switched it up to avoid conflict but my stepdad? Oh boy. This made him mad. Only thing is that my friend is much bigger than my out of weight POS stepdad. So whenever an argument would start, my friend got aggressive and my stepdad caved.
Except near the end. My friend is helping my mom clean and my step dad slaps me in the ass in front of my friend! My friend blew his lid, calling my step dad a shitty, ungrateful, good for nothing sad excuse for a father. He then grabbed me and yanked me out of the house.
Both mom and aunt have called me non-stop but I refuse to answer. My friend is now fully insistent on figuring out my name change and hasn't stopped ranting about SD. Guys. I think I'm falling in love with this guy because holy fuck! I'm smiling ear to ear just thinking about it all. What a great fucking time to be alive!