My dog keeps throwing up a brown watery substance several times a day
[34/M] UK American in London looking for IRL friends!
2024.05.14 12:48 PuppyGuile [34/M] UK American in London looking for IRL friends!
Hey there!
I'm a 34-year-old American who's called the UK home for the past 5 years, and I'm on the lookout for some new friends. Currently living and working in London and despite traveling all over the world, realized London is my favorite city. Bonus points if you're up for meeting my two fluffy dogs – because, let's be honest, having dogs is a cheat code when it comes to making friends in the UK.
By day, I'm a product manager in the city, but my journey has taken me through some interesting twists, including time in the US Army and a stint at a luxury fashion company.
Outside of the 9 to 5 grind, you'll find me picking things up and putting them down at the gym bright and early in the morning. I've stuck to my 2023 New Year's resolution and have gone to the gym quite regularly; it's become a source of pride. If you're a fellow gym rat who competes with no one but the person you were yesterday, we're bound to hit it off.
I'm also into improv comedy – I take classes and perform whenever I can. Originally, it was my way of finding a practical application for acting without fully committing to a career in it. It's been super helpful, especially in dealing with feelings of anxiety as well. If you're an improv geek too, I'd love to hear your experiences.
Lockdown brought out the mixologist in me, thanks to binging Mad Men. I love experimenting with cocktails and if you have a favorite cocktail and don't mind providing the ingredients, I'd be happy to try and craft it for you! I actually signed up for a bartending course just to learn a new skill-- definitely stay tuned for that one.
And of course, I'm pretty basic too with your typical interests – sports (NCAA Football and NFL Football, with Army and the San Francisco 49ers as my teams), video games (Baldur's Gate 3 was a blast, but am now back to playing League of Legends Wild Rift), and TV shows (Succession, Better Call Saul/Breaking Bad, and Mad Men are my absolute favorites). I'm also trying to get in to reading for pleasure (currently reading The Three-Body Problem series by Cixin Liu), but man do I have to work at it.
If any of this resonates with you, I'd love to connect! Whether it's grabbing a drink, hitting the gym together, or just chatting about shared interests, I'm up for it. Drop me a chat request and let's make something happen! Can't think of an opener? What's a challenging experience you've faced and how did it shape your perspective?
submitted by PuppyGuile to MeetNewPeopleHere [link] [comments]
I'm a 34-year-old American who's called the UK home for the past 5 years, and I'm on the lookout for some new friends. Currently living and working in London and despite traveling all over the world, realized London is my favorite city. Bonus points if you're up for meeting my two fluffy dogs – because, let's be honest, having dogs is a cheat code when it comes to making friends in the UK.
By day, I'm a product manager in the city, but my journey has taken me through some interesting twists, including time in the US Army and a stint at a luxury fashion company.
Outside of the 9 to 5 grind, you'll find me picking things up and putting them down at the gym bright and early in the morning. I've stuck to my 2023 New Year's resolution and have gone to the gym quite regularly; it's become a source of pride. If you're a fellow gym rat who competes with no one but the person you were yesterday, we're bound to hit it off.
I'm also into improv comedy – I take classes and perform whenever I can. Originally, it was my way of finding a practical application for acting without fully committing to a career in it. It's been super helpful, especially in dealing with feelings of anxiety as well. If you're an improv geek too, I'd love to hear your experiences.
Lockdown brought out the mixologist in me, thanks to binging Mad Men. I love experimenting with cocktails and if you have a favorite cocktail and don't mind providing the ingredients, I'd be happy to try and craft it for you! I actually signed up for a bartending course just to learn a new skill-- definitely stay tuned for that one.
And of course, I'm pretty basic too with your typical interests – sports (NCAA Football and NFL Football, with Army and the San Francisco 49ers as my teams), video games (Baldur's Gate 3 was a blast, but am now back to playing League of Legends Wild Rift), and TV shows (Succession, Better Call Saul/Breaking Bad, and Mad Men are my absolute favorites). I'm also trying to get in to reading for pleasure (currently reading The Three-Body Problem series by Cixin Liu), but man do I have to work at it.
If any of this resonates with you, I'd love to connect! Whether it's grabbing a drink, hitting the gym together, or just chatting about shared interests, I'm up for it. Drop me a chat request and let's make something happen! Can't think of an opener? What's a challenging experience you've faced and how did it shape your perspective?
2024.05.14 12:48 pbj800100 Should i switch gyms? Not getting a lot of coaching
I'm having a dilemma and seeking opinions as a beginner weightlifter. I've been weightlifting at my local crossfit gym for about 1.5 years. When i realized i wanted to focus on weightlifting i made massive gains but i'm still super weak (went from not being able to OHS the bar to snatching around 45kg).
I've been tossing up switching to a proper weightlifting gym. My current crossfit gym has certified weightlifting instructors and some amazing lifters who compete. But i feel like overall i'm not getting enough coaching. I train weightlifting specificly 5 times a week, but there's limited weightlifting classes a week, so a lot of what i do is uncoached in open gym. Then some classes i feel like my coach doesn't even watch me. Rather than pointing out anything that i'm doing wrong, the coaches are more motivators and will just say 'oh so close! Go again!' I have to keep asking for help or to be watched which of course isnt a problem, but it feels like a good coach should be initiating?
The other gym i'm looking at is actually for weightlifting so there's multiple classes per day, meaning there would at least always be a coach present. I''m wondering what experience most people have with coaching and what level of help i should expect to get. Maybe i'm hoping for too much in a class and this sort of thing you only get with personal training?
Is the fact that my coach doesnt really give pointers unless i ask normal? Would you expect your coach to be a lot more engaged in a class of maybe 10-12 lifters? Is switching even worth it when i'm still such a beginner anyway? I feel like ive really stalled with my lifts now and it's frustrating. I haven't been able to PB since last year... i know that's normal for experienced lifters but i feel like i'm doing something wrong when i can't consistently lift 40kg after many months.
Btw - it would be an obvious choice to move but the other gym is much farther away AND much more expensive, so i just am wondering if this is a case of 'the grass is always greener' or if it sounds like my current gym is actually lacking. Thanks for reading my long ramble!!
submitted by pbj800100 to weightlifting [link] [comments]
I've been tossing up switching to a proper weightlifting gym. My current crossfit gym has certified weightlifting instructors and some amazing lifters who compete. But i feel like overall i'm not getting enough coaching. I train weightlifting specificly 5 times a week, but there's limited weightlifting classes a week, so a lot of what i do is uncoached in open gym. Then some classes i feel like my coach doesn't even watch me. Rather than pointing out anything that i'm doing wrong, the coaches are more motivators and will just say 'oh so close! Go again!' I have to keep asking for help or to be watched which of course isnt a problem, but it feels like a good coach should be initiating?
The other gym i'm looking at is actually for weightlifting so there's multiple classes per day, meaning there would at least always be a coach present. I''m wondering what experience most people have with coaching and what level of help i should expect to get. Maybe i'm hoping for too much in a class and this sort of thing you only get with personal training?
Is the fact that my coach doesnt really give pointers unless i ask normal? Would you expect your coach to be a lot more engaged in a class of maybe 10-12 lifters? Is switching even worth it when i'm still such a beginner anyway? I feel like ive really stalled with my lifts now and it's frustrating. I haven't been able to PB since last year... i know that's normal for experienced lifters but i feel like i'm doing something wrong when i can't consistently lift 40kg after many months.
Btw - it would be an obvious choice to move but the other gym is much farther away AND much more expensive, so i just am wondering if this is a case of 'the grass is always greener' or if it sounds like my current gym is actually lacking. Thanks for reading my long ramble!!
2024.05.14 12:48 Fancy-Possession-923 Fake giveaway and shady consumer support by DELUXE(global) on IG, beware of this company!
 | I just wanted to share here my experience with DELUXE company. submitted by Fancy-Possession-923 to u/Fancy-Possession-923 [link] [comments] Recently (April 18) they announced a prize draw. They drawn the winners (April 23) I was one of the winners, I wrote to them the next day and sent all my personal information that is necessary for the delivery (they asked for it in DM) Then they disappeared for weeks, and to this day they only gave a fake coupon, which is good for nothing. I've write them several times, they don't want to answer normally, or it takes them weeks. Maybe they will try to cover up the whole case so I will put a screenshot mix here: delux_global I know I can't complain about free things, that's not why I'm sharing my story here! I just wanted to warn others. I think they let themselves down as a company. Their communication is a joke! The bogus giveaway game is outrageous, what they are trying to advertise themselves with....I spoke to the other alleged winner, but she also wrote to me that it was very difficult to talk to them or that they could not be reached. I don't have any information on whether the other winner will get her prize in the end or if she was also scammed? I say no one should order from them after this or at least you should be very suspicious. If you pay for a product, who knows if you will receive it or not?! If warranty cases are also handled in this way, approx. you can forget it. |
2024.05.14 12:48 milcolhc 29 [M] #Boston Massachusetts- Looking for something lasting anywhere
Thank you for clicking my post! I’m not great at talking about myself, but I figured I throw myself out there. I’m certainly not getting any younger. Ideally we’d be in the same state, if not close by. I’m open to anyone that wants to chat at the very least and see where it goes. I truly appreciate it! It’s hard enough to find people. I’m 29, 5’10, 175lb. and average built Chinese. I’m more of the quiet type, but that doesn’t mean I can’t go off rambling about topics of interest.
I’m a big fan of gaming (mostly rpgs, strategy, and party games), history (primarily in East Asia studies and love learning about culture as well), and sports (mma, pro wrestling, nfl, and nba enthusiast). I also enjoy watching all sorts of movies and shows. Two series I always keep up are American Horror Story and My Hero Academia.
It’d be nice to finally find someone to spend time with. My pic will be on my profile for any inquiring. Feel free to chat with me!
submitted by milcolhc to amwfdating [link] [comments]
I’m a big fan of gaming (mostly rpgs, strategy, and party games), history (primarily in East Asia studies and love learning about culture as well), and sports (mma, pro wrestling, nfl, and nba enthusiast). I also enjoy watching all sorts of movies and shows. Two series I always keep up are American Horror Story and My Hero Academia.
It’d be nice to finally find someone to spend time with. My pic will be on my profile for any inquiring. Feel free to chat with me!
2024.05.14 12:47 PuppyGuile 34 [M4R] London UK - American in London looking for IRL friends!
Hey there!
I'm a 34-year-old American who's called the UK home for the past 5 years, and I'm on the lookout for some new friends. Currently living and working in London and despite traveling all over the world, realized London is my favorite city. Bonus points if you're up for meeting my two fluffy dogs – because, let's be honest, having dogs is a cheat code when it comes to making friends in the UK.
By day, I'm a product manager in the city, but my journey has taken me through some interesting twists, including time in the US Army and a stint at a luxury fashion company.
Outside of the 9 to 5 grind, you'll find me picking things up and putting them down at the gym bright and early in the morning. I've stuck to my 2023 New Year's resolution and have gone to the gym quite regularly; it's become a source of pride. If you're a fellow gym rat who competes with no one but the person you were yesterday, we're bound to hit it off.
I'm also into improv comedy – I take classes and perform whenever I can. Originally, it was my way of finding a practical application for acting without fully committing to a career in it. It's been super helpful, especially in dealing with feelings of anxiety as well. If you're an improv geek too, I'd love to hear your experiences.
Lockdown brought out the mixologist in me, thanks to binging Mad Men. I love experimenting with cocktails and if you have a favorite cocktail and don't mind providing the ingredients, I'd be happy to try and craft it for you! I actually signed up for a bartending course just to learn a new skill-- definitely stay tuned for that one.
And of course, I'm pretty basic too with your typical interests – sports (NCAA Football and NFL Football, with Army and the San Francisco 49ers as my teams), video games (Baldur's Gate 3 was a blast, but am now back to playing League of Legends Wild Rift), and TV shows (Succession, Better Call Saul/Breaking Bad, and Mad Men are my absolute favorites). I'm also trying to get in to reading for pleasure (currently reading The Three-Body Problem series by Cixin Liu), but man do I have to work at it.
If any of this resonates with you, I'd love to connect! Whether it's grabbing a drink, hitting the gym together, or just chatting about shared interests, I'm up for it. Drop me a chat request and let's make something happen! Can't think of an opener? What's a challenging experience you've faced and how did it shape your perspective?
submitted by PuppyGuile to r4r [link] [comments]
I'm a 34-year-old American who's called the UK home for the past 5 years, and I'm on the lookout for some new friends. Currently living and working in London and despite traveling all over the world, realized London is my favorite city. Bonus points if you're up for meeting my two fluffy dogs – because, let's be honest, having dogs is a cheat code when it comes to making friends in the UK.
By day, I'm a product manager in the city, but my journey has taken me through some interesting twists, including time in the US Army and a stint at a luxury fashion company.
Outside of the 9 to 5 grind, you'll find me picking things up and putting them down at the gym bright and early in the morning. I've stuck to my 2023 New Year's resolution and have gone to the gym quite regularly; it's become a source of pride. If you're a fellow gym rat who competes with no one but the person you were yesterday, we're bound to hit it off.
I'm also into improv comedy – I take classes and perform whenever I can. Originally, it was my way of finding a practical application for acting without fully committing to a career in it. It's been super helpful, especially in dealing with feelings of anxiety as well. If you're an improv geek too, I'd love to hear your experiences.
Lockdown brought out the mixologist in me, thanks to binging Mad Men. I love experimenting with cocktails and if you have a favorite cocktail and don't mind providing the ingredients, I'd be happy to try and craft it for you! I actually signed up for a bartending course just to learn a new skill-- definitely stay tuned for that one.
And of course, I'm pretty basic too with your typical interests – sports (NCAA Football and NFL Football, with Army and the San Francisco 49ers as my teams), video games (Baldur's Gate 3 was a blast, but am now back to playing League of Legends Wild Rift), and TV shows (Succession, Better Call Saul/Breaking Bad, and Mad Men are my absolute favorites). I'm also trying to get in to reading for pleasure (currently reading The Three-Body Problem series by Cixin Liu), but man do I have to work at it.
If any of this resonates with you, I'd love to connect! Whether it's grabbing a drink, hitting the gym together, or just chatting about shared interests, I'm up for it. Drop me a chat request and let's make something happen! Can't think of an opener? What's a challenging experience you've faced and how did it shape your perspective?
2024.05.14 12:46 DaylightStorm Make Shaman Great Again!
Posted in the EU forums but it can be a bit of a ghost town these days
Having seen the love some other classes (cough Druids) have received over the past few years I feel like Shamans have been massively neglected when it comes to updates to spells, animations and models.
I love the Shaman class thematically and I’m hoping to main it going into TWW but I have a few issues, suggestions and ideas in the hope we may get some attention as we approach the release of the expansion. I’m no pro, but I have played all 3 specs in various levels of content from PvP to M+ & Raids.
These are aimed at the class in general but some ideas will also filter into each spec.
Ascendance, Elementals & Primal Elementalist - This ability has been in the game since Cata with a model that is now over 10 years old, and frankly doesn’t even feel like it really fits the class thematically. Rather than just ask for a new model I think Ascendance should be replaced by a ‘summon elemental’ ability for all 3 specs. For example:
Deeply Rooted Elements - This can remain as it is, as a capstone for all 3 specs granting a chance to summon your elemental for 6 sec.
*As Elemental will effectively be ‘losing’ a CD, I’d propose a buff to Stormkeeper or perhaps some kind of ‘Raging Storm Totem’ which creates a storm in a large area (Starfall) filling the fantasy of a stormcaller like the Druid spell ‘Hurricane’ of old.
If Ascendance is to stay as it is, at least update the model! Perhaps similar to what we see with Dathea in Vault.
DEFENSIVES - I understand this is a sensitive subject with the power creep of personal defensives in the game today but Shamans have historically been one of the squishiest classes. ‘Burrow’ was added as a PvP talent which is awesome but would be OP in PvE scenarios and doesn’t quite feel right from a fantasy PoV for me.
A few ideas -
Stoneskin Totem - Not the current iteration, but an old version that gives the shaman a small absorb shield. From a WotLK glyph iirc.
Earthen Harmony - Talent moved to class tree
Empower Shields - Similar to the PvP talent this would empower your active shield(s) for a short period of time on a short CD, 1min - 1.2min.
Ancestral Might - A small 60 min raid wide Crit/Mastery buff, like fortitude, motw etc.
OR
Skyfury Totem - A weaker version of the PvP talent to increase crit damage for a short period of time.
Finally a few quick fire suggestions as this is getting quite long:
Elemental -
Please show Shamans some love, thank you!
submitted by DaylightStorm to wow [link] [comments]
Having seen the love some other classes (cough Druids) have received over the past few years I feel like Shamans have been massively neglected when it comes to updates to spells, animations and models.
I love the Shaman class thematically and I’m hoping to main it going into TWW but I have a few issues, suggestions and ideas in the hope we may get some attention as we approach the release of the expansion. I’m no pro, but I have played all 3 specs in various levels of content from PvP to M+ & Raids.
These are aimed at the class in general but some ideas will also filter into each spec.
Ascendance, Elementals & Primal Elementalist - This ability has been in the game since Cata with a model that is now over 10 years old, and frankly doesn’t even feel like it really fits the class thematically. Rather than just ask for a new model I think Ascendance should be replaced by a ‘summon elemental’ ability for all 3 specs. For example:
- Elemental keeps its trusty Fire elemental and Lava Burst has no CD for it’s duration. Maybe add some LvB splash damage. Storm elemental talent is removed from the tree.
- Enhance can talent into Storm elemental which turns Stormstrike into Windstrike for its duration and it casts lightning bolts at the target.
- Resto can talent into Water elemental which duplicates the shamans healing and distributes evenly to allies. These should all be essentially mandatory (high up on the tree, as per Elemental) and then ‘Primal Elementalist’ can become a new capstone to chase on the shaman class tree.
- Fire - Meteor and existing abilities
- Storm - Extra casted ability can be a tornado on the target that does some AoE damage.
- Water - Extra casted ability can be a version of Wellspring.
- Earth - Extra casted ability remains a stun or perhaps an earthquake as per Torghast would be a nice upgrade.
Deeply Rooted Elements - This can remain as it is, as a capstone for all 3 specs granting a chance to summon your elemental for 6 sec.
*As Elemental will effectively be ‘losing’ a CD, I’d propose a buff to Stormkeeper or perhaps some kind of ‘Raging Storm Totem’ which creates a storm in a large area (Starfall) filling the fantasy of a stormcaller like the Druid spell ‘Hurricane’ of old.
If Ascendance is to stay as it is, at least update the model! Perhaps similar to what we see with Dathea in Vault.
DEFENSIVES - I understand this is a sensitive subject with the power creep of personal defensives in the game today but Shamans have historically been one of the squishiest classes. ‘Burrow’ was added as a PvP talent which is awesome but would be OP in PvE scenarios and doesn’t quite feel right from a fantasy PoV for me.
A few ideas -
Stoneskin Totem - Not the current iteration, but an old version that gives the shaman a small absorb shield. From a WotLK glyph iirc.
Earthen Harmony - Talent moved to class tree
Empower Shields - Similar to the PvP talent this would empower your active shield(s) for a short period of time on a short CD, 1min - 1.2min.
- Earth shield - consumes up to 4 charges to grant an absorb shield or just reduces damage taken by 20% for 6 secs
- Water shield - Reduces mana cost of spells for 6 secs
- Lightning shield - Increases damage by 500% for 6 secs Thematically feels great and would help prevent one shots in PvE and being an auto kill target by melee in PvP.
Ancestral Might - A small 60 min raid wide Crit/Mastery buff, like fortitude, motw etc.
OR
Skyfury Totem - A weaker version of the PvP talent to increase crit damage for a short period of time.
Finally a few quick fire suggestions as this is getting quite long:
Elemental -
- Two charges of flame shock or chain lighting spreads flame shock to two targets via a talent.
- Lava Burst damage scaling with Crit rating by default.
- Diverse spell usage across all builds (not just all lighting or all fire). It’s looking like an issue with current hero talents. We should still weave all elements even if we are a storm bringer imo.
- Mastery to also increase damage of overloads slightly rather than just a % chance of it to happen
- Rework Icefury. Incorporating frost spells is cool but it starts to feel bloated and clunky
- Diverse spell usage across all builds (not just all lighting or all fire). Likewise with Ele, its looking like an issue with current hero talents
- More damage put into the actual melee abilities otherwise we just feel like a melee ele sham with huge LB’s and Ele blasts.
- Less bloat. There’s no need for both wellspring and Downpour with all the healing tools we already have.
- Update lightning bolt and other old animations!
- Glyph of Chain heal - Old golden/spirit animation from back in the day
- Glyph of Ghost Talbuk - for our Draenei friends
- Glyph of Ghost Ram - for our Dwarven brethren
- Glyph of Ghost Bakar - Goodest boy!
- Glyph of Windfury - Old animation similar to that of gust of wind
- All class mounts available for any spec. Contradicts my ‘Summon Elemental’ suggestion above but I don’t see why I can’t ride a Storm Elemental as an Ele Sham.
Please show Shamans some love, thank you!
2024.05.14 12:45 Errora403 PUBG MOBILE VERSION 3.2 UPDATE ANNOUNCEMENT
 | Report bugs here and earn rewards: https://pubgmobile.live/supportPUBG MOBILE will begin pushing out the update on 5/13 at 2:00 (UTC+0). Service will not be interrupted. To ensure a quick and smooth update, please be in a good network environment and make sure you have enough available storage on your device. Update Reward: Update the game between 5/13–5/27 (UTC+0) to get 3,000 BP, 100 AG, and a Mecha Warship Theme (3d). Key Updates
New Themed Mode: Mecha FusionAvailable: 2024/5/13 at 2:00 (UTC+0)–2024/7/9 at 20:59 (UTC+0)Supported Maps: Erangel, Livik, and Miramar (Ranked and Unranked) https://preview.redd.it/6m82y04sfd0d1.png?width=1384&format=png&auto=webp&s=a0ce25f8079e2fabcfe43c9bb5b98fb3d648170e New Mecha Vehicles
Brand New Environments
New Items
New Legendary Pilot ChallengeGet themed items, special vehicle cosmetics, Armamech dance emotes, special Elimination Broadcasts, and more by completing this difficult themed mode challenge.World of WonderAvailable: Releases with the versionhttps://preview.redd.it/p1fd1vgtfd0d1.png?width=1384&format=png&auto=webp&s=e85c32e7ca039909f454cf08cf359f0df7137de5 World of Wonder Updates
New Gameplay Devices
Gameplay Device Improvements
New Interactive Objects
Interactive Object Improvements
Controls & Interaction
Game Parameters
Other Updates
Classic UpdatesLivik Map Updates
Erangel Map Updates
Home UpdatesThe Home System is permanently available, and will be updated each version with interesting gameplay and building cosmetics.Home CompetitionSubmission Period: 2024/5/13 at 00:00–2024/6/1 at 8:59 (UTC+0)Selection Period: 2024/6/1 at 9:00–2024/7/1 at 9:00 (UTC+0)
Home Events
Home Building Updates
Home Resource & Content Updates
Metro Royale UpdatesAvailable: 2024/5/15 at 1:00 (UTC+0)Matchmaking: 2024/5/15 at 2:00 (UTC+0)
Firearm & Vehicle Improvements
General Improvements
System Improvements
New Season: Cycle 6 Season 18Available: 2024/5/18 at 2:00 (UTC+0)–2024/7/15 at 23:59 (UTC+0)https://preview.redd.it/4125d8rwfd0d1.png?width=1384&format=png&auto=webp&s=a74a0f8340ef11eecf1c7d4c0e9f9104b22ad806
All-Talent Championship S19Available: 2024/5/20–2024/7/4 (UTC+0)
Popularity Gift EventsNew Redemption Shop
Popularity Battle EventRegistration Period: 2024/5/14 at 00:00–2024/5/19 at 8:59 (UTC+0)Battle Period: 2024/5/19 at 9:00–2024/6/18 at 9:00 (UTC+0)
Team Popularity Battle EventRegistration Period: 2024/6/17 at 00:00–2024/6/23 at 8:59 (UTC+0)Battle Period: 2024/6/23 at 9:00–2024/7/9 at 9:30 (UTC+0)
Security & Game Environment ImprovementsAccount Security
Security Strategy Improvements
|
2024.05.14 12:45 theashtraygirl27 I just need any advice on this sinking ship he's calling relationship.
Before u read, this will be bunch of informations that are barely connected, it's poorly written, I'm not claiming to have done nothing wrong I just need someone to share my situation with and maybe seek some advice.
Me (F20) have been dating my bf (M19) for almost two years. For background : we went to same school and I used to be his long-term hallway crush, but he seemed shy so I made a first move. In the beginning, like every relationship goes, I could brag about how perfectly he's treating me if anyone asked, and, having sh1tty situations in payt with ex and situationship I was over the moon to have someone treat me so gentle.
Before we started dating, he knew I have an ex of over two years, he knew I had two boys being my very dear friends and I told him, as he has no lady friends, that if he expects me to remove one guy especially it wont work and he agreed that he won't be expecting of me to cut off my friends for him with no hesitation. Guy friend in question is kinda boy who sees to opposite gender besties and if someone says they'd be cute couple he'd act as if it's actual inc3st and we never saw each other any other way then friends. At the prom, same guy friend cried for two hours because he thought I didn't have good time because my crush kissed another girl, but honestly I had the great time when i saw how much he cared for me.
My byofriend also, before dating me, without me asking or saying anything said "I'll remove all woman from my life when I have u" aka girls from school that are people he doesn't talk to enough to call them friends but there is some contact between them. I was confused because I didn't plan on asking him to as I have guy friends but i felt respected.
It all ended up the exact opposite, I did remove my friend who i still miss to this day because my boyfriend was overly jealous. On his side : girls from school started to pick up on him and when he told me about it, I sensed bullying and told him to block them because they're being pretty annoying and he, kidd u not, asked "do i have to?" so brought up him saying he'd remove anyone for me and he did after days of arguing and me crying because it's the opposite of our agreement before dating. It wasn't even jealousy on my side and he didn't want to block them because he thought they'd ask why and he'd be uncomfortable but... He made a promise that he didn't keep.
Year later he broke up with me partly because i wasn't "pure"/ I have an ex and partly because of how bad my mood swings were (I had 3 doctors diagnosing me with severe depression and was almost hospitalized at the time I was "moody" ).
That breakup had me getting even worse because he was the guy to say "I'm so scared you'll leave me" "if you stay I stay" "i hope we're forever" I didn't know forever meant one year but the breakup was only 2 weeks long, had me suffering for over a month before he actually broke up because he took it very very slow. I slept 15 minutes a day and i wish i was being metaphoric, waiting for him to decide weather he'll stay or not. I did everything I could, my ocd gets worse in stressful situations and my brain telling me "if you do this, that will happen, if you don't, that will happen" all day every day, but I obviously did everything it told me to do to keep him and he still left and ruined us for 2 weeks of separation.
Note : If someone tells you they have something going on and they can't change it, don't come in their life trying to force a change, weather it's friendship you might not like or mental disorder out of their control, please.
After we got back together : - I told him i spent time home in group chat with two of my girls and some of their friends and random boy we found where we played "guess what I drew" because i couldn't leave bed and couldn't sleep, he got jealous at that random boy and made me feel bad for doing something while not being in a relationship. (I didn't flirt, we didn't talk in private chat, we just played and he was also aroace.)
While we were on breakup I also reached out to my guy friend and he is doing amazing, enjoying life and was happy I contacted him but my boyfriend made me cut him off, again. Tho, his sister best friend (girl) is buying him gifts, sleeping over at their place in room him and his sister are sharing but why would I be jealous? In fact, I'm not, I like that girl more then I like his family.
Anyway, it was last summer, when he asked me to be his girlfriend again I told him that I'll need time to heal, prepared him for the fact that I will bring up stuff he did before we broke up because I'm still hurt, and he'll need to be extra patient and gentle and he agreed, but instead, every time I talked about pain breakup caused because I wasn't over it, he'd yell at me so i tried to bottle it all up.
In past few months, everything I tell him will hurt me he'll find a way to do it, even if it's something he didn't have in mind, if i told him fictionally it'll hurt me so he knows, he'll do it, and when I confront him about it he'd focus on my reaction saying "are u being fr?" (Like I didn't warn him.) or "stop making me angrier I'm stressed" ( Like I'm not, also, stressed.)
Every time he does something i asked him not to, if I had a reaction it would turn into hours long fight and after making me a bad guy for reacting, he'd play a victim saying I misunderstood, it's all in my head ect. Well i started to tell my friend about our fights or I'd ask AI making "story" to see situation from someone else's perspective because I was tired of being told it's all in my head and it's on daily basis.
He recently started to pick up on my traits of ocd or autism that I also have diagnosed and told him about before he asked me out.
This was my overreaction, I agree, but I'm aware and I didn't ask to be this way; He gave me his hoodie so I'll sit in bus ( it was so dirty and I'd rather be standing, but he wanted me to sit with him and offered a hoodie which was nice. ) when we got to my place laundry dryer fell and put his hoodie on my, just day before, washed rug so i can have free hands to pick up the laundry, he picked hoodie up, angry that i left it on a floor for hot minute, immediately and put it on my bed where I sleep. I threw it right away and started crying because I'm extremely germophobic and had flashbacks from how dirty the bus was, he wanted to go home because i was acting too crazy and I know it's too much of a reaction on my side but I'd rather be like that then like people with no basic hygiene. He started asking "are you going to be this way forever?" And pressuring me to answer, then he told me I'm the only person in whole world behaving like this, like I don't know it's too much, I know it, my ocd is taking over my time and my life, my rituals are anxiously long, my fear of being dirty makes me unable to function through out the day, I have it hard already without someone putting a pressure on it, my doctor refused to treat me even tho I told him it takes at least 2 hours after I go to bed to re-do all my rituals so I can sleep without feer and I still end up waking up few times in one night, I know it's not normal bruh that's why it's a disorder lol, I never claimed it was normal but how can I just get it out of my body, I feel like crazy disgusting creature with zero rights to live because of what he says every time I have a" moment ".
He also doesn't fail to make me feel guilty for not paying attention to my tone when speaking or my facial expressions or my sensory sensitivity like it's all my fault, asking when will I stop being like this and that it's just me being like this, that no one else is this hard to deal with.
I love him and he's making me hate my existence, my flaws, things I can't change about myself, what am I supposed to do about it? Therapy in this country isn't much of help. I feel so guilty oftenly for being the way I am and I didn't even list half of the things.
He also makes me feel guilty for him giving me his time, when we have plans for a day but we spend that day with him always being in rush to go back home and him complaining how he didn't have to do A B and C because he "had to see me" like he doesn't even want to see me. (Same boy who said, over year ago " I can't stand seeing you only four hours a day I wish to be around you all the time".
We're fighting every day and every day it's something I asked him not to do but he still did and it always ends up with me being just too angry all the time and him doing nothing wrong.
He doesn't communicate well, he's messages contains 2-3 words and when I understand what he wrote instead of what he "meant" it's my fault. I warned him more then year ago that if I keep trying to explain in 5 different ways my point of view while he doesn't even explains his with valid sentence I'll give up on talking.
He's "explanation" goes like this : If i ask for two plus two he'll say the fishes brethe air - not only is the explanation wrong in general but it never has anything to do with my question. Like dudes that cheat and excause is that his grandma died, you get it?
Now, I'm so tired that when I try to tell him what's wrong, when he starts to be self defensive I block him because I can't take it anymore, I now can't communicate because I know how it'll end up anyway and it lost it's meaning. I'm turning out toxic but I'm tired, my soul is tired while his soul is rotting.
It hurts watching my sweet boy turning into such an ignorant and pathetic person. I started to think he has npd.
It seems like only solution is for me to stop reacting and to bottle everything up, but that's not relationship I want. I don't want to pretend I'm fine when I'm not, I don't want to keep masking around my own partner just for the sake of his ego because that guy can't stand being told he did something wrong and it takes hours of justifying, self-defense and victim role for him to actually say sorry without even understanding why he should be apologizing for.
TLDR : I (20f) am dating my bf (19m) who's only ever focused on my reaction when he's mistreating me then the reason why I reacted.
submitted by theashtraygirl27 to relationships [link] [comments]
Me (F20) have been dating my bf (M19) for almost two years. For background : we went to same school and I used to be his long-term hallway crush, but he seemed shy so I made a first move. In the beginning, like every relationship goes, I could brag about how perfectly he's treating me if anyone asked, and, having sh1tty situations in payt with ex and situationship I was over the moon to have someone treat me so gentle.
Before we started dating, he knew I have an ex of over two years, he knew I had two boys being my very dear friends and I told him, as he has no lady friends, that if he expects me to remove one guy especially it wont work and he agreed that he won't be expecting of me to cut off my friends for him with no hesitation. Guy friend in question is kinda boy who sees to opposite gender besties and if someone says they'd be cute couple he'd act as if it's actual inc3st and we never saw each other any other way then friends. At the prom, same guy friend cried for two hours because he thought I didn't have good time because my crush kissed another girl, but honestly I had the great time when i saw how much he cared for me.
My byofriend also, before dating me, without me asking or saying anything said "I'll remove all woman from my life when I have u" aka girls from school that are people he doesn't talk to enough to call them friends but there is some contact between them. I was confused because I didn't plan on asking him to as I have guy friends but i felt respected.
It all ended up the exact opposite, I did remove my friend who i still miss to this day because my boyfriend was overly jealous. On his side : girls from school started to pick up on him and when he told me about it, I sensed bullying and told him to block them because they're being pretty annoying and he, kidd u not, asked "do i have to?" so brought up him saying he'd remove anyone for me and he did after days of arguing and me crying because it's the opposite of our agreement before dating. It wasn't even jealousy on my side and he didn't want to block them because he thought they'd ask why and he'd be uncomfortable but... He made a promise that he didn't keep.
Year later he broke up with me partly because i wasn't "pure"/ I have an ex and partly because of how bad my mood swings were (I had 3 doctors diagnosing me with severe depression and was almost hospitalized at the time I was "moody" ).
That breakup had me getting even worse because he was the guy to say "I'm so scared you'll leave me" "if you stay I stay" "i hope we're forever" I didn't know forever meant one year but the breakup was only 2 weeks long, had me suffering for over a month before he actually broke up because he took it very very slow. I slept 15 minutes a day and i wish i was being metaphoric, waiting for him to decide weather he'll stay or not. I did everything I could, my ocd gets worse in stressful situations and my brain telling me "if you do this, that will happen, if you don't, that will happen" all day every day, but I obviously did everything it told me to do to keep him and he still left and ruined us for 2 weeks of separation.
Note : If someone tells you they have something going on and they can't change it, don't come in their life trying to force a change, weather it's friendship you might not like or mental disorder out of their control, please.
After we got back together : - I told him i spent time home in group chat with two of my girls and some of their friends and random boy we found where we played "guess what I drew" because i couldn't leave bed and couldn't sleep, he got jealous at that random boy and made me feel bad for doing something while not being in a relationship. (I didn't flirt, we didn't talk in private chat, we just played and he was also aroace.)
While we were on breakup I also reached out to my guy friend and he is doing amazing, enjoying life and was happy I contacted him but my boyfriend made me cut him off, again. Tho, his sister best friend (girl) is buying him gifts, sleeping over at their place in room him and his sister are sharing but why would I be jealous? In fact, I'm not, I like that girl more then I like his family.
Anyway, it was last summer, when he asked me to be his girlfriend again I told him that I'll need time to heal, prepared him for the fact that I will bring up stuff he did before we broke up because I'm still hurt, and he'll need to be extra patient and gentle and he agreed, but instead, every time I talked about pain breakup caused because I wasn't over it, he'd yell at me so i tried to bottle it all up.
In past few months, everything I tell him will hurt me he'll find a way to do it, even if it's something he didn't have in mind, if i told him fictionally it'll hurt me so he knows, he'll do it, and when I confront him about it he'd focus on my reaction saying "are u being fr?" (Like I didn't warn him.) or "stop making me angrier I'm stressed" ( Like I'm not, also, stressed.)
Every time he does something i asked him not to, if I had a reaction it would turn into hours long fight and after making me a bad guy for reacting, he'd play a victim saying I misunderstood, it's all in my head ect. Well i started to tell my friend about our fights or I'd ask AI making "story" to see situation from someone else's perspective because I was tired of being told it's all in my head and it's on daily basis.
He recently started to pick up on my traits of ocd or autism that I also have diagnosed and told him about before he asked me out.
This was my overreaction, I agree, but I'm aware and I didn't ask to be this way; He gave me his hoodie so I'll sit in bus ( it was so dirty and I'd rather be standing, but he wanted me to sit with him and offered a hoodie which was nice. ) when we got to my place laundry dryer fell and put his hoodie on my, just day before, washed rug so i can have free hands to pick up the laundry, he picked hoodie up, angry that i left it on a floor for hot minute, immediately and put it on my bed where I sleep. I threw it right away and started crying because I'm extremely germophobic and had flashbacks from how dirty the bus was, he wanted to go home because i was acting too crazy and I know it's too much of a reaction on my side but I'd rather be like that then like people with no basic hygiene. He started asking "are you going to be this way forever?" And pressuring me to answer, then he told me I'm the only person in whole world behaving like this, like I don't know it's too much, I know it, my ocd is taking over my time and my life, my rituals are anxiously long, my fear of being dirty makes me unable to function through out the day, I have it hard already without someone putting a pressure on it, my doctor refused to treat me even tho I told him it takes at least 2 hours after I go to bed to re-do all my rituals so I can sleep without feer and I still end up waking up few times in one night, I know it's not normal bruh that's why it's a disorder lol, I never claimed it was normal but how can I just get it out of my body, I feel like crazy disgusting creature with zero rights to live because of what he says every time I have a" moment ".
He also doesn't fail to make me feel guilty for not paying attention to my tone when speaking or my facial expressions or my sensory sensitivity like it's all my fault, asking when will I stop being like this and that it's just me being like this, that no one else is this hard to deal with.
I love him and he's making me hate my existence, my flaws, things I can't change about myself, what am I supposed to do about it? Therapy in this country isn't much of help. I feel so guilty oftenly for being the way I am and I didn't even list half of the things.
He also makes me feel guilty for him giving me his time, when we have plans for a day but we spend that day with him always being in rush to go back home and him complaining how he didn't have to do A B and C because he "had to see me" like he doesn't even want to see me. (Same boy who said, over year ago " I can't stand seeing you only four hours a day I wish to be around you all the time".
We're fighting every day and every day it's something I asked him not to do but he still did and it always ends up with me being just too angry all the time and him doing nothing wrong.
He doesn't communicate well, he's messages contains 2-3 words and when I understand what he wrote instead of what he "meant" it's my fault. I warned him more then year ago that if I keep trying to explain in 5 different ways my point of view while he doesn't even explains his with valid sentence I'll give up on talking.
He's "explanation" goes like this : If i ask for two plus two he'll say the fishes brethe air - not only is the explanation wrong in general but it never has anything to do with my question. Like dudes that cheat and excause is that his grandma died, you get it?
Now, I'm so tired that when I try to tell him what's wrong, when he starts to be self defensive I block him because I can't take it anymore, I now can't communicate because I know how it'll end up anyway and it lost it's meaning. I'm turning out toxic but I'm tired, my soul is tired while his soul is rotting.
It hurts watching my sweet boy turning into such an ignorant and pathetic person. I started to think he has npd.
It seems like only solution is for me to stop reacting and to bottle everything up, but that's not relationship I want. I don't want to pretend I'm fine when I'm not, I don't want to keep masking around my own partner just for the sake of his ego because that guy can't stand being told he did something wrong and it takes hours of justifying, self-defense and victim role for him to actually say sorry without even understanding why he should be apologizing for.
TLDR : I (20f) am dating my bf (19m) who's only ever focused on my reaction when he's mistreating me then the reason why I reacted.
2024.05.14 12:44 kyrunner I'm extremely disappointed in my new 2024 Razer Laptop
I'm extremely disappointed. I bought my first Razer Blade laptop back in 2010 and it worked well until the battery bloated and popped out of the case. So, I decided I wouldn't be purchasing any more of those. Fast forward to needing a new laptop; I thought, surely after all these years, Razer has sorted everything out for their new laptops. So, I bought a brand-new 2024 Razer laptop, costing around $2300 with taxes.
For the first two months, everything was working fine. I even got the Thunderbolt Razer docking station. I hooked up two monitors via USB-C and also connected a Thunderbolt cable from the docking station to my Qnap. Everything was perfect until one day when I disconnected the docking station to move the laptop to the couch for a few hours. When I plugged the cable back in, none of the USB-C ports worked anymore.
With over 20 years in IT, I went through the troubleshooting steps I'd normally advise end users: rebooting, unplugging, but nothing worked. I even tried swapping cables around. Eventually, I decided to do a Windows reset, thinking that's probably what Razer's script would suggest. But even after the reset, the USB-C ports remained dead.
Then began the frustrating journey with Razer support. The first person I spoke to suddenly couldn't hear me when I explained the issue, so I hung up and called again. The second support person's first suggestion? You guessed it, factory reset. When I explained I'd already done that, they promised to email me instructions on their specific method. It turned out to be the same as what I'd already done, but I did it again just to comply.
After the factory reset, the USB-C ports still didn't work. So, Razer support requested a video showing the issue. I felt like they were pulling a prank on me. Not only did I have to rebuild my brand-new laptop and reinstall Windows, now they wanted me to be Steven Spielberg too? After spending half a day dealing with this on a laptop that was only two months old, I was incredulous.
I shot a video on my phone, but it was too big to email. Eventually, after a cumbersome process involving my NAS and YouTube, I managed to upload the video and share the link with Razer support. I'll keep everyone posted on what they request next.
The moral of the story? Imagine if someone less tech-savvy had bought this laptop and needed an RMA. It's a nightmare. Razer's tech support seems nonexistent; they just read off a script without any real solutions. I can confidently say this is the last time I'll be spending close to $3000 on a Razer product.
submitted by kyrunner to razer [link] [comments]
For the first two months, everything was working fine. I even got the Thunderbolt Razer docking station. I hooked up two monitors via USB-C and also connected a Thunderbolt cable from the docking station to my Qnap. Everything was perfect until one day when I disconnected the docking station to move the laptop to the couch for a few hours. When I plugged the cable back in, none of the USB-C ports worked anymore.
With over 20 years in IT, I went through the troubleshooting steps I'd normally advise end users: rebooting, unplugging, but nothing worked. I even tried swapping cables around. Eventually, I decided to do a Windows reset, thinking that's probably what Razer's script would suggest. But even after the reset, the USB-C ports remained dead.
Then began the frustrating journey with Razer support. The first person I spoke to suddenly couldn't hear me when I explained the issue, so I hung up and called again. The second support person's first suggestion? You guessed it, factory reset. When I explained I'd already done that, they promised to email me instructions on their specific method. It turned out to be the same as what I'd already done, but I did it again just to comply.
After the factory reset, the USB-C ports still didn't work. So, Razer support requested a video showing the issue. I felt like they were pulling a prank on me. Not only did I have to rebuild my brand-new laptop and reinstall Windows, now they wanted me to be Steven Spielberg too? After spending half a day dealing with this on a laptop that was only two months old, I was incredulous.
I shot a video on my phone, but it was too big to email. Eventually, after a cumbersome process involving my NAS and YouTube, I managed to upload the video and share the link with Razer support. I'll keep everyone posted on what they request next.
The moral of the story? Imagine if someone less tech-savvy had bought this laptop and needed an RMA. It's a nightmare. Razer's tech support seems nonexistent; they just read off a script without any real solutions. I can confidently say this is the last time I'll be spending close to $3000 on a Razer product.
2024.05.14 12:44 Bubbly-Emu95 Ex boyfriend (30M) wants an abortion, I (28F) want to keep the baby but I am scared to raise the baby on my own
I am currently 6 weeks pregnant with my ex boyfriend of 2 1/2 years. We spent the last 2 years having sex almost everyday without contraceptives, as we were ready for any risks, we were not actively trying, but not actively preventing.
We decided to take a break due to arguments over the past month, and on our last day together, we had unprotective sex (we didn’t have sex for 3 weeks at that point). I took a test upon unusual symptoms and missed period, and discovered I am pregnant.
I informed him last week and I think he’s still in denial. He asked me to go for a scan to confirm so he can tell his parents and he has expressed that he doesn’t think it’s a good time for him, and I should get an abortion. He is not ready for fatherhood and doesn’t see that we can work things out in the future. I encouraged him to reconcile, not as a couple, but as civil adults to make communications easier in the following weeks or potentially years. He refused and told me I should talk to people for advice. I have spoke to my best friends and I don’t have a solution, I don’t know what to do. I don’t want my child to grow up without a father figure but I also don’t want to have this kind of father in its life. I only had one sex partner my whole life so there is no possibility that he is not the father. I’m personally also not ready to raise the child as a single mother without support. If this pregnancy happened few months back, I would not have the same doubts I currently have. I considered abortion after the conversation with him but I don’t want to end my own child’s life because of our unresolved issues. My family don’t live in the same country as me, so I will not have day-to-day help. My friends are supportive but I don’t think it’s realistic for me to raise the baby without a partner. I have all sorts of concerns and I am not in the right headspace at the moment to be thinking clearly.
For context - I (28F) moved in to live with my boyfriend (30M) after 2 years of dating, we barely had any disagreements throughout the first 2 years, we were both in love, and decided that we were ready for our next stages in life so we moved in together. We were certain that we were compatible despite our differences in interests - we are very different people in the best ways, and grew to love and learn of each other’s character. Our lives are very intertwined, and our respective friend groups are very involved in our lives. We had a healthy lifestyle and socially active ever since we got together.
Fast forward to 2 months ago, we were discussing wedding plans. We previously agreed that we would move in together > get engaged > married > have children. I expressed that I didn’t really want to move in together until I get a reassurance from him this is for lifetime, he told me not to worry because he already had plans to propose to me and it’s ok to move in first and then get married as we are living together. He suggested that we could plan the wedding first because weddings take at least a year ahead to plan, and the proposal will happen sometime later this year. Our first big argument came because of his unrealistic expectations and lack of logic and sense in event planning (he was never really a planner or an organized person, I do most of our travel logistics and household plannings).
Few weeks later I discovered that he was withholding his plans made with a colleague that I didn’t particularly liked, I felt strange that he had to hide this fact from me. I don’t believe that he was disloyal or anything but I didn’t understand why he lied. I exploded, demanded to check his phone, then I discovered more things he was hiding from me, including going on walks during lunch with the same female colleagues. I also discovered the group chat with his boys where they were making jokes about us getting married. I was livid and we argued over our definition of commitment, I questioned his maturity and his intentions to settle. He told me he was ready to settle with me, and suggested that we go pick out rings the next day.
The real issue came in when he called his parents to ask them for their blessing in our marriage. His parents disapproved, and called me materialistic, questioned my family, my social circle, my religion, my political views… etc. My boyfriend could’ve easily justified every one of the points they have made about me but I guess he was too in shock of their response to defend me. His parents never really agreed with our relationship to begin with, they never wanted him to date and thinks he should be focused on his career at this age rather than dating, despite this we spent every holidays and celebrations the last two years with his family and we thought they have grown to accept me as they had been very friendly with me, I guess it was all a facade. I was disappointed and lashed out at him. And somehow our previous issue with his ‘commitment’ was brushed under the rug.
He says he cannot propose to me when he doesn’t have his parents blessing. I gave him a deadline the next day to make a decision, if he cannot talk it out with his parents then I will have to let this end. He came back the next day, and told me his dad apologized and would like to reconcile with me. And he came back to tell me he was ready to settle.
The following weeks we continued to have smaller disagreements and I was still uncomfortable to face his parents, as he would return home a different person, and treats me worse every time after every time he had met up with his parents. Before all these issues, we had made plans to visit my grandparents and his extended family who were both living in the same country. On our way there, I expressed that I would want to remain with my grandparents and not join his family trip as I’m not ready to face his parents yet. He tried to persuade me to go and that his parents will apologize to me, but I was still very uncomfortable. I told him I’ll only go if he can give me reassurance and that I will only go on another family trip with him if he can give me the status as his fiancé before I can face them. He said if he were to propose to me now he cannot face his parents, and he told his parents he has plans to propose to me on this trip, but they insisted that they should reconcile with me before he can propose as I would potentially “steal their grandchildren away from them” in the future if we don’t make up. He told me he even brought the ring with him but he can’t do it. I walked away from him, I felt so betrayed and lost in a foreign country. I got very emotional and told him he made feel worthless and want to end my life. I was not in the right headspace after a whole month of torment and I didn’t have the energy to reason with him any longer. I gave in and proceeded with the rest of our trip.
The day before we went to meet his family, I told him I wanted to go somewhere else instead and I still wasn’t ready. When he was making changes to our tickets, I saw his sister’s message on his phone, saying that it’ll be better in the long run if he sort out the parents issue first and don’t propose to me yet. I snatched his phone and spoke with his sister. After I told her everything, she apologized and gave me the reassurance that their family will treat me with respect and will apologize to me the first thing they see me, and that they just want to reconcile before we move forward to the next stage in life. I felt it was reasonable and reassured after my conversation with her, so I decided to give it a go.
When we did finally meet up with his parents, they pretended as if nothing has happened. Few days later we finally had the ‘conversation’. His dad started off by saying he doesn’t think it’s appropriate for us to get married at the moment, and kept going on about their same points again, he said our relationship hasn’t been long enough for us to decide marriage at this stage. They claimed their comments weren’t a personal attack, they didn’t apologize and said that I was ‘thinking too much’ for this to be a personal attack because it was simply a generalization, then dismissed me for being upset for hearing from my bf because he wasn’t supposed to tell me, and proceeds to keep commenting about me and my friends and how they disagree with their celebrations of weddings.
I respectfully explained we are not having these discussions about marriage out of no where, we have been having discussions on marriage throughout our 2 years. In fact our plans to have children was the basis of our relationship and were his requirements, and we just want to move forward with the next part of our lives. His mom doesn’t think I need to think about having children at this moment and it’s not a good time for us to have children, because she had kids much later in life and apparently so is everyone else, and we shouldn’t be following my ‘timeline’ on when things should be happening. Apparently I should not have such control over the timing of giving birth ‘like a reproduction machine’, and it’s not right to have to set such timeline on how much time I need for recovery and time between having each children. She asks why do we feel the need and so early in life to get married now? And ditch your own families and start your own life.
His dad said I should not decide right now how many kids we need to have and it’s rather in gods hands to decide, and some people are not even be able to have more than 1 kid, I asked him why is this relevant in regards to our plans to have kids… so I have to listen to god now and have kids without planning? And then he started giving this bs about god and how we are not meant to plan ‘these things’ out in life so specifically. I asked him: What is wrong with being practical and setting realistic goals. He claimed he doesn’t think it’s wrong to have plans but we shouldn’t be so set and ‘controlling’ over our own lives. He has experience and we should listen to the grown ups with experience… I knew the conversation wasn’t going to get anywhere as soon as he brings religion into this.
My boyfriend just stood there in silence. After the conversation ended we both walked away from his parents, he apologized to me and told me he’s sorry for any of the things his parents have said to me and I didn’t deserve it. He says he won’t listen to his parents anymore, and he knows how to make this right, and he will propose once we return to my grandparent’s place. I didn’t challenge him anymore because I that was the reassurance I needed from him, and I was happy that he was finally able to see his parents for who they are.
The following days of the trip, his dad tried to isolate him from rest of the family to give him the same lecture. Every time he rejoins the group I can see from his expression that their conversation did not go well, I didn’t comment. On the day we returned to my grandparent’s home, he told me he can’t follow through with his promises. And his dad told him he should feel guilty for making promises to me and be pressured into marriage. Somehow this convinced himself into thinking he’s not ready for marriage all along. I walked away from him and we spent 3 days apart before our flight to return home.
On our last day, we met up for closure, talked through what happened and we had sex. I told him I wasn’t ready to fly back home with him and I didn’t want to fall back into the vicious cycle of arguments, and that we should have some time to cool things down before we reconnect. We agreed to give each other some space and he wants to learn more about himself before he makes commitment to me as he doesn’t want to disappoint me again.
A week after he got back, he told me he wants to move out of our co-rented apartment, and he wants to break lease. I was a bit confused because I thought he wanted to work on himself, and him moving out essentially is an indication of a break up to me. He said if I don’t let him move out, I’m not giving him space to work on himself. I didn’t really have an option so I agreed. We didn’t talk afterwards.
3 weeks later, I missed my period, I took a test and was positive.
submitted by Bubbly-Emu95 to Advice [link] [comments]
We decided to take a break due to arguments over the past month, and on our last day together, we had unprotective sex (we didn’t have sex for 3 weeks at that point). I took a test upon unusual symptoms and missed period, and discovered I am pregnant.
I informed him last week and I think he’s still in denial. He asked me to go for a scan to confirm so he can tell his parents and he has expressed that he doesn’t think it’s a good time for him, and I should get an abortion. He is not ready for fatherhood and doesn’t see that we can work things out in the future. I encouraged him to reconcile, not as a couple, but as civil adults to make communications easier in the following weeks or potentially years. He refused and told me I should talk to people for advice. I have spoke to my best friends and I don’t have a solution, I don’t know what to do. I don’t want my child to grow up without a father figure but I also don’t want to have this kind of father in its life. I only had one sex partner my whole life so there is no possibility that he is not the father. I’m personally also not ready to raise the child as a single mother without support. If this pregnancy happened few months back, I would not have the same doubts I currently have. I considered abortion after the conversation with him but I don’t want to end my own child’s life because of our unresolved issues. My family don’t live in the same country as me, so I will not have day-to-day help. My friends are supportive but I don’t think it’s realistic for me to raise the baby without a partner. I have all sorts of concerns and I am not in the right headspace at the moment to be thinking clearly.
For context - I (28F) moved in to live with my boyfriend (30M) after 2 years of dating, we barely had any disagreements throughout the first 2 years, we were both in love, and decided that we were ready for our next stages in life so we moved in together. We were certain that we were compatible despite our differences in interests - we are very different people in the best ways, and grew to love and learn of each other’s character. Our lives are very intertwined, and our respective friend groups are very involved in our lives. We had a healthy lifestyle and socially active ever since we got together.
Fast forward to 2 months ago, we were discussing wedding plans. We previously agreed that we would move in together > get engaged > married > have children. I expressed that I didn’t really want to move in together until I get a reassurance from him this is for lifetime, he told me not to worry because he already had plans to propose to me and it’s ok to move in first and then get married as we are living together. He suggested that we could plan the wedding first because weddings take at least a year ahead to plan, and the proposal will happen sometime later this year. Our first big argument came because of his unrealistic expectations and lack of logic and sense in event planning (he was never really a planner or an organized person, I do most of our travel logistics and household plannings).
Few weeks later I discovered that he was withholding his plans made with a colleague that I didn’t particularly liked, I felt strange that he had to hide this fact from me. I don’t believe that he was disloyal or anything but I didn’t understand why he lied. I exploded, demanded to check his phone, then I discovered more things he was hiding from me, including going on walks during lunch with the same female colleagues. I also discovered the group chat with his boys where they were making jokes about us getting married. I was livid and we argued over our definition of commitment, I questioned his maturity and his intentions to settle. He told me he was ready to settle with me, and suggested that we go pick out rings the next day.
The real issue came in when he called his parents to ask them for their blessing in our marriage. His parents disapproved, and called me materialistic, questioned my family, my social circle, my religion, my political views… etc. My boyfriend could’ve easily justified every one of the points they have made about me but I guess he was too in shock of their response to defend me. His parents never really agreed with our relationship to begin with, they never wanted him to date and thinks he should be focused on his career at this age rather than dating, despite this we spent every holidays and celebrations the last two years with his family and we thought they have grown to accept me as they had been very friendly with me, I guess it was all a facade. I was disappointed and lashed out at him. And somehow our previous issue with his ‘commitment’ was brushed under the rug.
He says he cannot propose to me when he doesn’t have his parents blessing. I gave him a deadline the next day to make a decision, if he cannot talk it out with his parents then I will have to let this end. He came back the next day, and told me his dad apologized and would like to reconcile with me. And he came back to tell me he was ready to settle.
The following weeks we continued to have smaller disagreements and I was still uncomfortable to face his parents, as he would return home a different person, and treats me worse every time after every time he had met up with his parents. Before all these issues, we had made plans to visit my grandparents and his extended family who were both living in the same country. On our way there, I expressed that I would want to remain with my grandparents and not join his family trip as I’m not ready to face his parents yet. He tried to persuade me to go and that his parents will apologize to me, but I was still very uncomfortable. I told him I’ll only go if he can give me reassurance and that I will only go on another family trip with him if he can give me the status as his fiancé before I can face them. He said if he were to propose to me now he cannot face his parents, and he told his parents he has plans to propose to me on this trip, but they insisted that they should reconcile with me before he can propose as I would potentially “steal their grandchildren away from them” in the future if we don’t make up. He told me he even brought the ring with him but he can’t do it. I walked away from him, I felt so betrayed and lost in a foreign country. I got very emotional and told him he made feel worthless and want to end my life. I was not in the right headspace after a whole month of torment and I didn’t have the energy to reason with him any longer. I gave in and proceeded with the rest of our trip.
The day before we went to meet his family, I told him I wanted to go somewhere else instead and I still wasn’t ready. When he was making changes to our tickets, I saw his sister’s message on his phone, saying that it’ll be better in the long run if he sort out the parents issue first and don’t propose to me yet. I snatched his phone and spoke with his sister. After I told her everything, she apologized and gave me the reassurance that their family will treat me with respect and will apologize to me the first thing they see me, and that they just want to reconcile before we move forward to the next stage in life. I felt it was reasonable and reassured after my conversation with her, so I decided to give it a go.
When we did finally meet up with his parents, they pretended as if nothing has happened. Few days later we finally had the ‘conversation’. His dad started off by saying he doesn’t think it’s appropriate for us to get married at the moment, and kept going on about their same points again, he said our relationship hasn’t been long enough for us to decide marriage at this stage. They claimed their comments weren’t a personal attack, they didn’t apologize and said that I was ‘thinking too much’ for this to be a personal attack because it was simply a generalization, then dismissed me for being upset for hearing from my bf because he wasn’t supposed to tell me, and proceeds to keep commenting about me and my friends and how they disagree with their celebrations of weddings.
I respectfully explained we are not having these discussions about marriage out of no where, we have been having discussions on marriage throughout our 2 years. In fact our plans to have children was the basis of our relationship and were his requirements, and we just want to move forward with the next part of our lives. His mom doesn’t think I need to think about having children at this moment and it’s not a good time for us to have children, because she had kids much later in life and apparently so is everyone else, and we shouldn’t be following my ‘timeline’ on when things should be happening. Apparently I should not have such control over the timing of giving birth ‘like a reproduction machine’, and it’s not right to have to set such timeline on how much time I need for recovery and time between having each children. She asks why do we feel the need and so early in life to get married now? And ditch your own families and start your own life.
His dad said I should not decide right now how many kids we need to have and it’s rather in gods hands to decide, and some people are not even be able to have more than 1 kid, I asked him why is this relevant in regards to our plans to have kids… so I have to listen to god now and have kids without planning? And then he started giving this bs about god and how we are not meant to plan ‘these things’ out in life so specifically. I asked him: What is wrong with being practical and setting realistic goals. He claimed he doesn’t think it’s wrong to have plans but we shouldn’t be so set and ‘controlling’ over our own lives. He has experience and we should listen to the grown ups with experience… I knew the conversation wasn’t going to get anywhere as soon as he brings religion into this.
My boyfriend just stood there in silence. After the conversation ended we both walked away from his parents, he apologized to me and told me he’s sorry for any of the things his parents have said to me and I didn’t deserve it. He says he won’t listen to his parents anymore, and he knows how to make this right, and he will propose once we return to my grandparent’s place. I didn’t challenge him anymore because I that was the reassurance I needed from him, and I was happy that he was finally able to see his parents for who they are.
The following days of the trip, his dad tried to isolate him from rest of the family to give him the same lecture. Every time he rejoins the group I can see from his expression that their conversation did not go well, I didn’t comment. On the day we returned to my grandparent’s home, he told me he can’t follow through with his promises. And his dad told him he should feel guilty for making promises to me and be pressured into marriage. Somehow this convinced himself into thinking he’s not ready for marriage all along. I walked away from him and we spent 3 days apart before our flight to return home.
On our last day, we met up for closure, talked through what happened and we had sex. I told him I wasn’t ready to fly back home with him and I didn’t want to fall back into the vicious cycle of arguments, and that we should have some time to cool things down before we reconnect. We agreed to give each other some space and he wants to learn more about himself before he makes commitment to me as he doesn’t want to disappoint me again.
A week after he got back, he told me he wants to move out of our co-rented apartment, and he wants to break lease. I was a bit confused because I thought he wanted to work on himself, and him moving out essentially is an indication of a break up to me. He said if I don’t let him move out, I’m not giving him space to work on himself. I didn’t really have an option so I agreed. We didn’t talk afterwards.
3 weeks later, I missed my period, I took a test and was positive.
2024.05.14 12:44 WeissonWr Pain inside of my heart
I think this is the first time i will ever Talk of this on a "public way" and i dont know if its going to help me or not but here it goes:
Basically i play games on mobile and i met a Girl around a year ago playing that Game. She was crying because she was having a hard time and basically i tried to cheer her up. Since that day we texted everyday and i did videocalls and sleepcalls with her because she had nightmares and bad thoughts most the days and she Also had bpd plus their previous partners treated her so bad so i tried my best to make her Happy i even bought hera lot of gifts . after something like 3 months (by june of last year) she told me that she loved me and well we started being partners . I am from Spain and she was from Italy so It was a Distance relationship but we managed to see eachother. It took a while because the first time we Saw eachother was on december at a gaming event we saw and since that day we started seeing eachother every two weeks and she met my family too. Everything seemed so nice but some days after valentines day i went to Italy with her and on that days and some days before me coming she was weird and basically after i was there and i gave her a dress as valentines gift (yeah some days after because before i couldnt) i went back monday at Spain and 2 days after she broke Up with me saying that she wasnt feeling the romantic side and that she had a long way to recover. I got depression and anxiety over that and after 2 weeks my great-grandmother Also died. When we broke Up she told me we could be Friends and keep talking but she ignored me and after i talked with her again she told me that she didnt want to keep talking with me so i could move on and that she met another person and well .... I thought that if she took like 3 months to start going out with me and then after breaking Up with me on 2 weeks she is already with another person something was wrong. I decided to Talk with her again and well i messaged her a lot because i was feeling so bad but i basically was toxic and she ended Up blocking me.
After a month of all of this i decided to message my ex and tell her that i was sorry about being toxic and that i was moving on to be honest i wanted to be her friend but she just blocked me. Before you jump and say anything yeah i know about things like "I need to let her go" or "you need to move on" but its just that it hurts to love someone to that point and give everything just so it finishes that way.
After all of this happened i started going gym and watching anime shows etc... As i found it really helped me to deal with emotions. I Also tried to make new friends and even tried to meet a nice girl for a relationship (for me LDR are not a problem as im willing to put the effort if i see that person really makes me happy) but i didnt have much luck with that as for both things i got either insulted , ignored or asked for money which are things that shows me the lack of interest of those persons towards me.
I dont know.... I understand what i need to do and i know whats right but... It just hurts too much and sometimes i feel its too much for me.
If you read this far and you want to talk with me you are free to message me.
submitted by WeissonWr to lonely [link] [comments]
Basically i play games on mobile and i met a Girl around a year ago playing that Game. She was crying because she was having a hard time and basically i tried to cheer her up. Since that day we texted everyday and i did videocalls and sleepcalls with her because she had nightmares and bad thoughts most the days and she Also had bpd plus their previous partners treated her so bad so i tried my best to make her Happy i even bought hera lot of gifts . after something like 3 months (by june of last year) she told me that she loved me and well we started being partners . I am from Spain and she was from Italy so It was a Distance relationship but we managed to see eachother. It took a while because the first time we Saw eachother was on december at a gaming event we saw and since that day we started seeing eachother every two weeks and she met my family too. Everything seemed so nice but some days after valentines day i went to Italy with her and on that days and some days before me coming she was weird and basically after i was there and i gave her a dress as valentines gift (yeah some days after because before i couldnt) i went back monday at Spain and 2 days after she broke Up with me saying that she wasnt feeling the romantic side and that she had a long way to recover. I got depression and anxiety over that and after 2 weeks my great-grandmother Also died. When we broke Up she told me we could be Friends and keep talking but she ignored me and after i talked with her again she told me that she didnt want to keep talking with me so i could move on and that she met another person and well .... I thought that if she took like 3 months to start going out with me and then after breaking Up with me on 2 weeks she is already with another person something was wrong. I decided to Talk with her again and well i messaged her a lot because i was feeling so bad but i basically was toxic and she ended Up blocking me.
After a month of all of this i decided to message my ex and tell her that i was sorry about being toxic and that i was moving on to be honest i wanted to be her friend but she just blocked me. Before you jump and say anything yeah i know about things like "I need to let her go" or "you need to move on" but its just that it hurts to love someone to that point and give everything just so it finishes that way.
After all of this happened i started going gym and watching anime shows etc... As i found it really helped me to deal with emotions. I Also tried to make new friends and even tried to meet a nice girl for a relationship (for me LDR are not a problem as im willing to put the effort if i see that person really makes me happy) but i didnt have much luck with that as for both things i got either insulted , ignored or asked for money which are things that shows me the lack of interest of those persons towards me.
I dont know.... I understand what i need to do and i know whats right but... It just hurts too much and sometimes i feel its too much for me.
If you read this far and you want to talk with me you are free to message me.
2024.05.14 12:43 EverBoreddd How can I keep my family safe?
I'm a 23-year-old guy who graduated in 2023, got a job in IT but couldn't take it since I had to help my father in business. My father took multiple loans from 2018-2020, some from banks and some from money lenders. He found loopholes in the system and ended up taking loans about thrice in his total net worth. One of the loans was 15 Lakhs which he took at 10% interest per month, effectively giving just 18 Lakhs per year as interest even now my father is holding 10 lakhs from them at 4% interest and this is just one of the many loans. Yeah I know he's an incredibly terrible businessman. This loan was taken from Bua's (father's real sister) husband and he's a Gunda, yup my relatives are inhuman and leeched life and happiness out of my family.
Inevitably, my father took loan after loan to compensate for the earlier loans and recently went completely bankrupt. I never was paid anything for the work I did, and my mother who worked as a tuition teacher had to give everything to my father. In the last two years, we lost our house and car, and even my mother's gold and heirlooms were taken away. People bang on our doors every other day for money and the Gunda keeps issuing will-harm family threats.
Haunted, I saw pursuing an MBA as a way to get a high-paying job and get rid of loans. I gave CAT in 2023 and got 88% without prep, but couldn't convert those baby IIMs and others being a GEM. I'm preparing seriously this time and got an EWS certificate since I'm eligible for it. I'm sure I will end up cracking the IIMs or the likes this year and banks will hopefully grant me an education loan witnessing my caliber.
For the time being, is it possible to protect my family in some legal way since it will take me at least another two to three years to get a high-paying internship and job? Even if I stop working at my father's shop and get a job I can get max about 5-8 lakhs in IT being still a fresher and a similar amount in any other sector. I really wonder if those 5 lakhs will help in paying a crore worth of loans since the interest amount itself is greater than the amount I can earn. I am scared for my family and my father's mental health has deteriorated over the years and in arguments lately he says to end his life...I feel like a worthless and good-for-nothing son who cannot even protect his family in times of adversity.
-> In short: My Father has gone bankrupt due to an insane amount of loans, sole breadwinner is my mother atm who takes tuition. Money lenders are issuing harmful threats to my family and I want to know how to protect them until I pursue an MBA and get a high-paying job.
submitted by EverBoreddd to LegalAdviceIndia [link] [comments]
Inevitably, my father took loan after loan to compensate for the earlier loans and recently went completely bankrupt. I never was paid anything for the work I did, and my mother who worked as a tuition teacher had to give everything to my father. In the last two years, we lost our house and car, and even my mother's gold and heirlooms were taken away. People bang on our doors every other day for money and the Gunda keeps issuing will-harm family threats.
Haunted, I saw pursuing an MBA as a way to get a high-paying job and get rid of loans. I gave CAT in 2023 and got 88% without prep, but couldn't convert those baby IIMs and others being a GEM. I'm preparing seriously this time and got an EWS certificate since I'm eligible for it. I'm sure I will end up cracking the IIMs or the likes this year and banks will hopefully grant me an education loan witnessing my caliber.
For the time being, is it possible to protect my family in some legal way since it will take me at least another two to three years to get a high-paying internship and job? Even if I stop working at my father's shop and get a job I can get max about 5-8 lakhs in IT being still a fresher and a similar amount in any other sector. I really wonder if those 5 lakhs will help in paying a crore worth of loans since the interest amount itself is greater than the amount I can earn. I am scared for my family and my father's mental health has deteriorated over the years and in arguments lately he says to end his life...I feel like a worthless and good-for-nothing son who cannot even protect his family in times of adversity.
-> In short: My Father has gone bankrupt due to an insane amount of loans, sole breadwinner is my mother atm who takes tuition. Money lenders are issuing harmful threats to my family and I want to know how to protect them until I pursue an MBA and get a high-paying job.
2024.05.14 12:42 thematth On a burnout again, multiple times a month
Hi all,
I'm 27, M
first of all, I know there may be a lot of people who would just tell me to man up, shut the hell up and keep going, not on this sub but overall. There are lot of such people in my social group, family, everywhere. It seems I don't have anyone who even remotely understands the point of my struggle.
The thing is, I don't like the idea I'm basically predestined to spend the rest of my life in some kind of work. The majority of the day, every day. Some days, recently pretty often, this feeling hits me so much that even after the work ends, I don't even enjoy things I normally like. I'm just feeling like a total lethargic crap waiting for it to start again the next day.
There's even more to it - I've got a really nice job (if you would take a look on it from an ordinary person viewpoint), I work from home, there's a rly fine group of people in my team, the manager is super cool dude, paycheck is somewhat alright, everything is really close to perfection here.
So this brings me to the topic itself. This is not about a certain type of job, this is about this life approach from top to bottom. I remember even my first day in kindergarten where only this idea to forcefully be there was presented to me was a total pain in the ass for me. It was the same on elementary school, on high school, even on Uni. I simply didn't want to be there at all, I felt forced to do something I don't like.
But there's still this problem that I just stop showing up, I'll probably die in the next month or two out of starvation. This is nuts, I cannot probably even describe all the stuff I'm thinking about right now.
What are some of the possibilities people like me have? All the articles online are only telling me to find something I'd like to do but I've already been reassured multiple times that no matter what it is, if it's forced, I won't like it. People around me are telling me 'dude, this is capitalism, just accept how it is or go to beg somewhere to Himalayas for one banana a day' or something.
I feel lost, I feel weak, stupid, unnecessary, unheard, misunderstood. It's hitting me really hard that some other redditors are often mentioning that they just daydream between winning a lottery or putting a bullet in their head.
This is just insane.
What are some steps you guys took on this path please? What helped you to find some ease in this?
Thank you for any contribution.
submitted by thematth to antiwork [link] [comments]
I'm 27, M
first of all, I know there may be a lot of people who would just tell me to man up, shut the hell up and keep going, not on this sub but overall. There are lot of such people in my social group, family, everywhere. It seems I don't have anyone who even remotely understands the point of my struggle.
The thing is, I don't like the idea I'm basically predestined to spend the rest of my life in some kind of work. The majority of the day, every day. Some days, recently pretty often, this feeling hits me so much that even after the work ends, I don't even enjoy things I normally like. I'm just feeling like a total lethargic crap waiting for it to start again the next day.
There's even more to it - I've got a really nice job (if you would take a look on it from an ordinary person viewpoint), I work from home, there's a rly fine group of people in my team, the manager is super cool dude, paycheck is somewhat alright, everything is really close to perfection here.
So this brings me to the topic itself. This is not about a certain type of job, this is about this life approach from top to bottom. I remember even my first day in kindergarten where only this idea to forcefully be there was presented to me was a total pain in the ass for me. It was the same on elementary school, on high school, even on Uni. I simply didn't want to be there at all, I felt forced to do something I don't like.
But there's still this problem that I just stop showing up, I'll probably die in the next month or two out of starvation. This is nuts, I cannot probably even describe all the stuff I'm thinking about right now.
What are some of the possibilities people like me have? All the articles online are only telling me to find something I'd like to do but I've already been reassured multiple times that no matter what it is, if it's forced, I won't like it. People around me are telling me 'dude, this is capitalism, just accept how it is or go to beg somewhere to Himalayas for one banana a day' or something.
I feel lost, I feel weak, stupid, unnecessary, unheard, misunderstood. It's hitting me really hard that some other redditors are often mentioning that they just daydream between winning a lottery or putting a bullet in their head.
This is just insane.
What are some steps you guys took on this path please? What helped you to find some ease in this?
Thank you for any contribution.
2024.05.14 12:41 More_Helicopter_688 Post trip report Two weeks with a toddler (Lake Como, Gardaland, Venice)
We just got back from a wonderful trip in the northern part of Italy with our 3-year-old. Having spent 2 weeks on one of our best trips so far, I really want to thank a bunch of fellow redditors who helped refine our itinerary and suggested places which otherwise would not have made it to our plan!
Day 1 Milan: We took a flight from India and landed in Milan in the afternoon. Milan was just the arrival point for us and we did not intend to visit Milan as such, so we ended up booking a room in the hotel at the Malpensa Airport itself. Nothing much that day; a bit of rest and a delicious dinner were a great start to our trip.
Day 2 Drive from Milan to Bellagio: Woke up after a good night's sleep (a much needed one after the long sleepless flight the day before). Breakfast at the hotel was really good with a lot of options for everyone. We had booked a car through SIXT at the Malpensa airport. Getting the car was a breeze with great service from the representative at the SIXT counter. The drive to Bellagio was a very good one. I was still getting used to the car, since I come from a land of right-hand drive and switching to a left-hand drive meant putting in a lot more focus on the road. Driving along the Lake Como was a fantastic experience. We reached Bellagio by lunch time and our AirBnB was ready for us. The rest of the day was at leisure, with a casual walk around Bellagio, through the city center and along the lake.
Day 3 Bellagio to Varenna: Took a ferry to Varenna and had breakfast at a lake side cafe. With great weather on our side, a cup of coffee and a little pastry seemed more blissful than we thought of! We had signed up for a picnic on the hills of Camaggiore, a 40-minute drive from the Varenna ferry station. We had our representative waiting for us and she drove us to the picnic spot, sharing tales from the towns of Lake Como, showing us amazing views along the way. The picnic itself was surreal, with the most beautiful view of the lake from 1200 meters above. We spend the rest of the day exploring Varenna at our pace, while our little one slept like a log in the stoller.
Day 4 Bellagio: After debating weather to visit the Como town or not, we decided to stay in Bellagio in explore the town a bit more. We took a ride of the Bellagio Express, the toy train that takes you around the town. It was a fun ride, intended for our toddler, who decided to doze off in the train itself! Post that, we saw the gardens of the Villa Melzi. We had rented a boat to explore the lake ourselves during the evening, but rainy weather made us cancel our plans. We spent the rest of the evening, relaxing at our AirBnB, overlooking the lake.
Day 5 Drive from Bellagio to Gardaland: Moving on to the next leg of our trip, which was clearly planned keeping our little boy in mind, we drove to Gardaland reaching there by noon. Thanks to a wonderful fellow Redditor, we got introduced to this wonderland called Gardaland! Our stay was booked at the Gardaland Hotel and while we were waiting for our room to get ready, we decided to pay a visit to the Gardaland Resort park right away. A drizzly weather kept most of the visitors inside the SEA Aquarium, but that also meant we had absolutely no waiting times on most of the rides in the park! The little one was elated to see the Peppa Pig Land, and refused to move away from it. All in all, day one in the park was a super success despite the wet weather. Evening at the hotel was full of fun-filled activities for the kids. The entertainment team at Gardaland Hotel did a fabulous job at keeping kids engaged.
Day 6 Gardaland: Our second day in the Gardaland park was a much more planned one, since we had already explored some of the park on the previous day. We knew the rides we wanted to go on, and so logistics were simpler. Weather was great too, and so we had a wonderful time! The park has a plethora of options to eat, with a ton of sweet treats along the way. The park is huge but very well laid out with clean facilities. Naturally, day two also could not be completed without visiting our favorite Peppa Pig! Evening at the hotel was again fun-filled with the team at Gardaland doing what they do the best!
Day 7 Parco Natura Viva: Gardaland is in proximity to a lot of amusement parks and points of recreation for family and friends. One of them is Parco Natura Viva, a zoo with a drive-through safari. It was a Saturday and the zoo had enormous waiting times for the cars to enter the Safari. After having waited in the queue for over an hour, we finally started the Safari, which turned out to be pretty great. Next, we had the fauna park (the walkable part of the zoo), the one with animals in their enclosures. With the entire park divided into geographical zones, it was fun seeing animals from various continents. The place is well-maintained, and creates a great experience for kids.
Day 8 Verona: We had kept an extra day in Gardaland just in case the little man wanted to visit the park again. However, given the proximity, we decided to do a day trip to Verona instead. We drove to Verona and parked our car in one of the paid parking lots. We had reserved a morning slot for a walking tour, that took us through the streets of Verona, with our very knowledgeable guide sharing tales from historic Verona, the castle and gate to the old city center. The center was bustling with stores and eateries. Very touristy but was all the more fun! Our taste buds were craving for some Indian food and we ended up having lunch at an amazing Indian restaurant named "Maharajah". The food was delectable with very prompt service. As touristy as it sounds, we did go to "Casa di Giulietta", commonly known as Juliet's house that is known for the legacy of Romeo and Juliet having been inspired from there. The so-called Juliet's balcony is missable at best.
Day 9 Drive from Gardaland to Venice: Switching to the last leg of our trip, this was supposed to be the wife's part of the trip. She has wanted to visit Venice for as long as she remembers, and this trip could not have happened without a leisurely stay in the city of canals! This was also the last day of us keeping the car, and we drove to Venice Marco Polo Airport where we returned the car at the SIXT counter. Once again, just like the pick-up the return process was extremely smooth and lasted barely a couple of minutes. Our plan was to catch the Alilaguna airport water bus to the main island, but we decided to splurge at the last moment and took the water taxi instead. And boy were we happy! The water taxi is an experience in itself, especially when entering the canals from the airport. Our AirBnB was located right on the Grand Canal, giving us uninterrupted views of the Canal. For a place that looked better in person than in pictures, what more could we have asked for! We spent the evening walking to the Rialto Bridge, people-watching!
Day 10 St. Marks square and Dodge's Palace: After a good night's sleep, we woke up refreshed, taking in the morning views of the Grand Canal, with the gondola's and the various boats floating by, doing their chores for the day. We had booked a tour of the St. Marks square and the Basilica, along with the Dodge's Palace. Unfortunately, it had to be a rainy day. While we still participated in the tour, the place became very crowded because a lot of people tried to maximize on the time indoors to avoid the rain. Nonetheless, it was a good experience. The little one dozed off in the Basilica and so we let my wife carry on with the tour of the palace, while I took a table under an umbrella at the Cafe Lavena to get myself some coffee, and to let my son enjoy his sleep. We spent the evening loitering around the Rialto market, spoiling ourselves with a few gelatos at Suso!
Day 11 Murano, Burano and Torcello: We woke up early, fixed ourselves some breakfast and were ready to leave. We had booked a tour of the 3 islands and our job was to get to the meeting point as soon as possible. Unfortunately, we missed our group and had to visit the islands on our own. The upside to this was that we could do it at our own pace! This included having a hearty lunch at a beautiful local cafe in Torcello. This place had a chidren's play area too! This also meant spending more time than necessary in Burano, because why not? We loved the colorful houses on the island and we just wanted to be there, taking in everything it had...
Day 12 Leisure and Photoshoot: My wife and I generally have this idea of booking a small photoshoot at every exquisite location we visit. This not only gives us great pictures for memories, but it also allows us to see areas which we would otherwise not know existed. We booked this experience through AirBnB and our photographer was a wonderful man, very learned and a true Venetian at heart! He took us to places that were free of tourists, for some amazing pictures. Not only that, he also arranged for a special Gondola ride for us, which took us through the narrower canals of Venice, adding to the already special experience. A trip to Venice is really incomplete without a Gondola ride, and we were glad we could! This was the last evening of our trip and we could not conclude it without a few more Aperol Spritz's and Gelatos from Suso!
With every trip we take, we learn a lot, that helps us make our future trips better. We consciously chose to skip the more popular locations like Rome and Florence (Tuscany), since we wanted to have ample time of leisure and just do nothing, with a toddler who wanted to just be.
If I could summarize the learnings of this trip, they would be:
submitted by More_Helicopter_688 to ItalyTravel [link] [comments]
Day 1 Milan: We took a flight from India and landed in Milan in the afternoon. Milan was just the arrival point for us and we did not intend to visit Milan as such, so we ended up booking a room in the hotel at the Malpensa Airport itself. Nothing much that day; a bit of rest and a delicious dinner were a great start to our trip.
Day 2 Drive from Milan to Bellagio: Woke up after a good night's sleep (a much needed one after the long sleepless flight the day before). Breakfast at the hotel was really good with a lot of options for everyone. We had booked a car through SIXT at the Malpensa airport. Getting the car was a breeze with great service from the representative at the SIXT counter. The drive to Bellagio was a very good one. I was still getting used to the car, since I come from a land of right-hand drive and switching to a left-hand drive meant putting in a lot more focus on the road. Driving along the Lake Como was a fantastic experience. We reached Bellagio by lunch time and our AirBnB was ready for us. The rest of the day was at leisure, with a casual walk around Bellagio, through the city center and along the lake.
Day 3 Bellagio to Varenna: Took a ferry to Varenna and had breakfast at a lake side cafe. With great weather on our side, a cup of coffee and a little pastry seemed more blissful than we thought of! We had signed up for a picnic on the hills of Camaggiore, a 40-minute drive from the Varenna ferry station. We had our representative waiting for us and she drove us to the picnic spot, sharing tales from the towns of Lake Como, showing us amazing views along the way. The picnic itself was surreal, with the most beautiful view of the lake from 1200 meters above. We spend the rest of the day exploring Varenna at our pace, while our little one slept like a log in the stoller.
Day 4 Bellagio: After debating weather to visit the Como town or not, we decided to stay in Bellagio in explore the town a bit more. We took a ride of the Bellagio Express, the toy train that takes you around the town. It was a fun ride, intended for our toddler, who decided to doze off in the train itself! Post that, we saw the gardens of the Villa Melzi. We had rented a boat to explore the lake ourselves during the evening, but rainy weather made us cancel our plans. We spent the rest of the evening, relaxing at our AirBnB, overlooking the lake.
Day 5 Drive from Bellagio to Gardaland: Moving on to the next leg of our trip, which was clearly planned keeping our little boy in mind, we drove to Gardaland reaching there by noon. Thanks to a wonderful fellow Redditor, we got introduced to this wonderland called Gardaland! Our stay was booked at the Gardaland Hotel and while we were waiting for our room to get ready, we decided to pay a visit to the Gardaland Resort park right away. A drizzly weather kept most of the visitors inside the SEA Aquarium, but that also meant we had absolutely no waiting times on most of the rides in the park! The little one was elated to see the Peppa Pig Land, and refused to move away from it. All in all, day one in the park was a super success despite the wet weather. Evening at the hotel was full of fun-filled activities for the kids. The entertainment team at Gardaland Hotel did a fabulous job at keeping kids engaged.
Day 6 Gardaland: Our second day in the Gardaland park was a much more planned one, since we had already explored some of the park on the previous day. We knew the rides we wanted to go on, and so logistics were simpler. Weather was great too, and so we had a wonderful time! The park has a plethora of options to eat, with a ton of sweet treats along the way. The park is huge but very well laid out with clean facilities. Naturally, day two also could not be completed without visiting our favorite Peppa Pig! Evening at the hotel was again fun-filled with the team at Gardaland doing what they do the best!
Day 7 Parco Natura Viva: Gardaland is in proximity to a lot of amusement parks and points of recreation for family and friends. One of them is Parco Natura Viva, a zoo with a drive-through safari. It was a Saturday and the zoo had enormous waiting times for the cars to enter the Safari. After having waited in the queue for over an hour, we finally started the Safari, which turned out to be pretty great. Next, we had the fauna park (the walkable part of the zoo), the one with animals in their enclosures. With the entire park divided into geographical zones, it was fun seeing animals from various continents. The place is well-maintained, and creates a great experience for kids.
Day 8 Verona: We had kept an extra day in Gardaland just in case the little man wanted to visit the park again. However, given the proximity, we decided to do a day trip to Verona instead. We drove to Verona and parked our car in one of the paid parking lots. We had reserved a morning slot for a walking tour, that took us through the streets of Verona, with our very knowledgeable guide sharing tales from historic Verona, the castle and gate to the old city center. The center was bustling with stores and eateries. Very touristy but was all the more fun! Our taste buds were craving for some Indian food and we ended up having lunch at an amazing Indian restaurant named "Maharajah". The food was delectable with very prompt service. As touristy as it sounds, we did go to "Casa di Giulietta", commonly known as Juliet's house that is known for the legacy of Romeo and Juliet having been inspired from there. The so-called Juliet's balcony is missable at best.
Day 9 Drive from Gardaland to Venice: Switching to the last leg of our trip, this was supposed to be the wife's part of the trip. She has wanted to visit Venice for as long as she remembers, and this trip could not have happened without a leisurely stay in the city of canals! This was also the last day of us keeping the car, and we drove to Venice Marco Polo Airport where we returned the car at the SIXT counter. Once again, just like the pick-up the return process was extremely smooth and lasted barely a couple of minutes. Our plan was to catch the Alilaguna airport water bus to the main island, but we decided to splurge at the last moment and took the water taxi instead. And boy were we happy! The water taxi is an experience in itself, especially when entering the canals from the airport. Our AirBnB was located right on the Grand Canal, giving us uninterrupted views of the Canal. For a place that looked better in person than in pictures, what more could we have asked for! We spent the evening walking to the Rialto Bridge, people-watching!
Day 10 St. Marks square and Dodge's Palace: After a good night's sleep, we woke up refreshed, taking in the morning views of the Grand Canal, with the gondola's and the various boats floating by, doing their chores for the day. We had booked a tour of the St. Marks square and the Basilica, along with the Dodge's Palace. Unfortunately, it had to be a rainy day. While we still participated in the tour, the place became very crowded because a lot of people tried to maximize on the time indoors to avoid the rain. Nonetheless, it was a good experience. The little one dozed off in the Basilica and so we let my wife carry on with the tour of the palace, while I took a table under an umbrella at the Cafe Lavena to get myself some coffee, and to let my son enjoy his sleep. We spent the evening loitering around the Rialto market, spoiling ourselves with a few gelatos at Suso!
Day 11 Murano, Burano and Torcello: We woke up early, fixed ourselves some breakfast and were ready to leave. We had booked a tour of the 3 islands and our job was to get to the meeting point as soon as possible. Unfortunately, we missed our group and had to visit the islands on our own. The upside to this was that we could do it at our own pace! This included having a hearty lunch at a beautiful local cafe in Torcello. This place had a chidren's play area too! This also meant spending more time than necessary in Burano, because why not? We loved the colorful houses on the island and we just wanted to be there, taking in everything it had...
Day 12 Leisure and Photoshoot: My wife and I generally have this idea of booking a small photoshoot at every exquisite location we visit. This not only gives us great pictures for memories, but it also allows us to see areas which we would otherwise not know existed. We booked this experience through AirBnB and our photographer was a wonderful man, very learned and a true Venetian at heart! He took us to places that were free of tourists, for some amazing pictures. Not only that, he also arranged for a special Gondola ride for us, which took us through the narrower canals of Venice, adding to the already special experience. A trip to Venice is really incomplete without a Gondola ride, and we were glad we could! This was the last evening of our trip and we could not conclude it without a few more Aperol Spritz's and Gelatos from Suso!
With every trip we take, we learn a lot, that helps us make our future trips better. We consciously chose to skip the more popular locations like Rome and Florence (Tuscany), since we wanted to have ample time of leisure and just do nothing, with a toddler who wanted to just be.
If I could summarize the learnings of this trip, they would be:
- Travelling with a toddler is great, if you leave a lot of room for rest and leisure. It not only allows you to be, but it also leaves scope to rome around the place and absorb the local life beyond the tourist favourites
- Lake Como has a lot to offer. While day trips from Milan sound good, staying in a Lake Como town lets you enjoy the serenity of the lake in a more intimate manner. A couple of days at the least, three days to make it worth while.
- Driving around Lake Como can be fun, but can also become a bit intimidating if you are trying to drive slow on the roads that circle the lake and there are cars behind you, trying to get ahead. Staying calm is the key!
- Gardaland is unchartered territory for people outside Italy, and if travelling with kids, must find a place in the itinerary.
- We had a lot of people advising us against spending 4 days in Venice, but we do not regret it even a bit. Venice is a city unlike anything we've been to so far. It is very difficult to imagine the daily life of the people living there, unless you decide to stop and slow things down yourself, experiencing the little things that the place has to offer.
- It is absolutely ok to not cover every point of interest at a place you are staying. Ticking everything off the list does not give the same satisfaction as enjoying the few things that you do, at a pace that you like.
- Lastly, strollers are a boon, even with the cobbled streets. They serve a great deal for quick afternoon naps, as well as meal times. It indeed is a pain carrying them over the hundreds of bridges in a place like Venice, but the pros still outweigh the cons.
2024.05.14 12:41 Any-Classic-5733 Why HW3 feels like a disappointment to fans of previous HW campaigns
I was in two minds as to add my opinion to an already crowded field, but I think I need to write my feelings down on a franchise that has inspired my imagination for decades. I will state up front that I think BBI had a nearly impossible task - how to please veterans and players of old, and attract new players to the franchise that will continue to breathe life into it.
I think they may have succeeded with the latter, but probably failed with the former.
It pains me to have to be so negative, and I don't want to come across as a spoiled entitled gamerdude who's angry he didn't get the game he wanted. I'm sure many will disagree with my points, but I don't think I'm alone either.
TLDR at the bottom.
First, some nice things to say
The game does look lovely. Battles, while chaotic and messy the sound design is wonderful, the battle chatter and PDCs from capital ships/assault frigates are seriously impressive.
It's short. Unbelievably so. I completed it in two sittings. Some missions/levels, whatever you want to call them are over in 20 minutes, some take a little longer but usually consist of one or two objectives before the player is hastily moved onto the next mission.
I didn't really gel with the story, it felt a little clichéd - 'the new protagonist is in search of the old one' didn't make any sense to me. The whole thing felt like a missed opportunity. They had free reign to do whatever they wanted, but seemed to have gravitated back to a weird 'prophecy' story where I understood very little considering just how much exposition is forced upon the player.
I must have missed what the 'anomaly' was because I kept seeing it being mentioned but had no idea how it fit into the story.
Gameplay and storytelling pacing is a problem
Gone is the slow and steady story telling of old, no sense of wonder or mystery - instead we're hurried along from beat to beat, always being told something is urgent and frequently being reminded that an objective needs completing.
The player is robbed of agency in a lot of cases. In one mission, we're just given a carrier from the start - no research or objectives to complete in order to earn it - just hey you'll need this. I remember in HW1, the first time you make a destroyer, or the first time you build a carrier it's an exciting moment, you feel a sense of achievement and can't wait to see how this changes the battlefield.
You don't get to feel that in HW3. In fact, some missions you might get access to several new units within minutes of each other, so you never really get to explore how each one affects the battles. The pace of the gameplay means you're constantly under attack or under pressure with few moments of calm.
Also, there are times when storytelling got in the way, especially after a lengthy cut-scene the player would be taken out of the game for a moment to show something on the sensors, sometimes multiple times within a few moments of each other. Infuriatingly this didn't seem to pause the action. It was like the steering wheel was taken away from you while you were trying to navigate around a bend.
Gameplay mechanics are simplified compared to previous HW titles
Because there is little in the way of microing your units, (no attack move, no kiting more powerful ships) you find yourself constantly in the build menu maxing out your unit caps to replace lost ships. And you can do that, by the way, because you have literally infinite resources. At no point during the campaign did I have less than 10,000 RUs.
Resource collecting no longer means a player has to choose how to best manage their resource economy. They've taken all that away by giving the player the easy version. The resource controller does it all for you. I really miss how cool it was that resources would drop off at the MS or carriers, then you could upgrade your economy with controllers. Here we've skipped over that, you get the dumbed down version, the player no longer has to choose between positioning a valuable carrier for their economy or as a forward base for supporting strike craft and replenishing frigates.
I remember a while ago I saw someone post here that they hated HW2 strikecraft squadrons and preferred the individual units of HW1. I honestly thought it was the stupidest thing I've ever read regarding this franchise. Strikecraft squadrons added to the scale of the battles, but more importantly it was much more rewarding to manage. By efficiently microing your fleet, you could 'save' a whole squadron by docking it. Now it feels like you just spaming strike craft endlessly with little hope to save individual ones because they'll usually die before you can react and send them home to dock. I just can't understand why they went back to HW1 with that mechanic when clearly, squadrons are the superior choice for many reasons.
For all the talk of terrain and cover being a major gameplay mechanic, I found myself barely using it. Frigates and capital ship pathfinding meant it was just easier to avoid going near it.
Support frigates look like they have space for strikecraft to dock, but I've never seen them go near it. Feels like a feature that was never implemented.
Enemy faction feels... uninspired
The Incarnate ships have all taken their design from the Progenitors, but I'm surprised just how little variation there is in the design. They all look like mini Sajuuks or Progenitor Dreadnaughts from HW2. Don't get me wrong, they look great - but this is problematic from a gameplay perspective, but you only really see the subtle differences up close. However, you rarely have the opportunity to appreciate that due to the chaotic nature of the battles. Distinguishing between Incarnate units is almost impossible as they all share a very similar profile.
UI is much improved since the demo, controls are much better
I'm glad they listened to the feedback, the UI is more intuitive and micro animations give the player the right clues as to what is going on. However, I still struggled to identify which ships I have selected at any given time. Sometimes there will be little numbers over the top of units, but they don't correspond to the group number - it's quite confusing.
I was one of the biggest complainants of the new control system after playing the demo, however, I found myself switching from classic to modern during the campaign - mostly out of necessity - it's quite difficult to navigate around the terrain elements of the maps in classic mode.
But the improvements BBI have made to the responsiveness of the controls have made that transition much easier, props to them for doing that.
Multiplayer / War Games
I haven't had much luck with either of these modes, quickplay doesn't seem to work - trying to connect to anyone in the lobby results in failure most of the time. Of the few games I've played half the time one or more players drop out. This is going to be a major paint point for players new and old, and it'll need improving quickly if this game is going to hold onto any significant player count.
What I think happened here
Making an AAA title these days is hard. It's expensive, and the resources and investment needed to deliver it are enormous. It's why we see so many games released that feel rushed or unfinished. Investors/publishers want to see a return on that investment at some point, it's just a reality of modern-day game development. HW3 was delayed several times and we still ended up with (in my opinion), a sequel that feels rushed and underbaked.
I suspect a lot of this was down to pressure from the publisher to:
A. Try to appeal to a wider market by simplifying the gameplay B. Cut the amount of content to get the product released sooner
Unfortunately for players like me, who wanted a uniquely Homeworld campaign experience has left me feeling wanting. And I'm really sad about that. There are clearly many talented folks at BBI, and I can't help but feel this isn't the game they wanted to release... like they could have used another year or two of development if they could perhaps?
The campaign ending left it open for the possibility of us seeing more content set after these events. I would be entirely open to that, but they'd need to fix some of issues that I'd outlined above if I thought it'd be worth my time and money. But that doesn't appear to be on the year 1 roadmap. My current experience with War Games sort of tells me I've wasted my money a bit if that's all we're getting.
Maybe, after the Year 1 roadmap we'll see the possibility of a continuation of the story - the hunt for the crew of Karan's ship for example.
TLDR
The campaign is too short, and while punctuated with genuine moments of delight, pacing is problematic and the player is often robbed of agency and a sense of wonder. Battles, while pretty, are ultimately a chaotic war of attrition due to simplified gameplay mechanics.
The campaign experience has felt rather shallow and underbaked. Players of previous HW titles will be left feeling like underwhelmed in my opinion.
However I'm sure many new players will enjoy the game much more, it is still one of the most unique titles out there at the moment.
6/10
Edit: formatting
submitted by Any-Classic-5733 to homeworld [link] [comments]
I think they may have succeeded with the latter, but probably failed with the former.
It pains me to have to be so negative, and I don't want to come across as a spoiled entitled gamerdude who's angry he didn't get the game he wanted. I'm sure many will disagree with my points, but I don't think I'm alone either.
TLDR at the bottom.
First, some nice things to say
The game does look lovely. Battles, while chaotic and messy the sound design is wonderful, the battle chatter and PDCs from capital ships/assault frigates are seriously impressive.
- CONTAINS SPOILERS BELOW *
It's short. Unbelievably so. I completed it in two sittings. Some missions/levels, whatever you want to call them are over in 20 minutes, some take a little longer but usually consist of one or two objectives before the player is hastily moved onto the next mission.
I didn't really gel with the story, it felt a little clichéd - 'the new protagonist is in search of the old one' didn't make any sense to me. The whole thing felt like a missed opportunity. They had free reign to do whatever they wanted, but seemed to have gravitated back to a weird 'prophecy' story where I understood very little considering just how much exposition is forced upon the player.
I must have missed what the 'anomaly' was because I kept seeing it being mentioned but had no idea how it fit into the story.
Gameplay and storytelling pacing is a problem
Gone is the slow and steady story telling of old, no sense of wonder or mystery - instead we're hurried along from beat to beat, always being told something is urgent and frequently being reminded that an objective needs completing.
The player is robbed of agency in a lot of cases. In one mission, we're just given a carrier from the start - no research or objectives to complete in order to earn it - just hey you'll need this. I remember in HW1, the first time you make a destroyer, or the first time you build a carrier it's an exciting moment, you feel a sense of achievement and can't wait to see how this changes the battlefield.
You don't get to feel that in HW3. In fact, some missions you might get access to several new units within minutes of each other, so you never really get to explore how each one affects the battles. The pace of the gameplay means you're constantly under attack or under pressure with few moments of calm.
Also, there are times when storytelling got in the way, especially after a lengthy cut-scene the player would be taken out of the game for a moment to show something on the sensors, sometimes multiple times within a few moments of each other. Infuriatingly this didn't seem to pause the action. It was like the steering wheel was taken away from you while you were trying to navigate around a bend.
Gameplay mechanics are simplified compared to previous HW titles
Because there is little in the way of microing your units, (no attack move, no kiting more powerful ships) you find yourself constantly in the build menu maxing out your unit caps to replace lost ships. And you can do that, by the way, because you have literally infinite resources. At no point during the campaign did I have less than 10,000 RUs.
Resource collecting no longer means a player has to choose how to best manage their resource economy. They've taken all that away by giving the player the easy version. The resource controller does it all for you. I really miss how cool it was that resources would drop off at the MS or carriers, then you could upgrade your economy with controllers. Here we've skipped over that, you get the dumbed down version, the player no longer has to choose between positioning a valuable carrier for their economy or as a forward base for supporting strike craft and replenishing frigates.
I remember a while ago I saw someone post here that they hated HW2 strikecraft squadrons and preferred the individual units of HW1. I honestly thought it was the stupidest thing I've ever read regarding this franchise. Strikecraft squadrons added to the scale of the battles, but more importantly it was much more rewarding to manage. By efficiently microing your fleet, you could 'save' a whole squadron by docking it. Now it feels like you just spaming strike craft endlessly with little hope to save individual ones because they'll usually die before you can react and send them home to dock. I just can't understand why they went back to HW1 with that mechanic when clearly, squadrons are the superior choice for many reasons.
For all the talk of terrain and cover being a major gameplay mechanic, I found myself barely using it. Frigates and capital ship pathfinding meant it was just easier to avoid going near it.
Support frigates look like they have space for strikecraft to dock, but I've never seen them go near it. Feels like a feature that was never implemented.
Enemy faction feels... uninspired
The Incarnate ships have all taken their design from the Progenitors, but I'm surprised just how little variation there is in the design. They all look like mini Sajuuks or Progenitor Dreadnaughts from HW2. Don't get me wrong, they look great - but this is problematic from a gameplay perspective, but you only really see the subtle differences up close. However, you rarely have the opportunity to appreciate that due to the chaotic nature of the battles. Distinguishing between Incarnate units is almost impossible as they all share a very similar profile.
UI is much improved since the demo, controls are much better
I'm glad they listened to the feedback, the UI is more intuitive and micro animations give the player the right clues as to what is going on. However, I still struggled to identify which ships I have selected at any given time. Sometimes there will be little numbers over the top of units, but they don't correspond to the group number - it's quite confusing.
I was one of the biggest complainants of the new control system after playing the demo, however, I found myself switching from classic to modern during the campaign - mostly out of necessity - it's quite difficult to navigate around the terrain elements of the maps in classic mode.
But the improvements BBI have made to the responsiveness of the controls have made that transition much easier, props to them for doing that.
Multiplayer / War Games
I haven't had much luck with either of these modes, quickplay doesn't seem to work - trying to connect to anyone in the lobby results in failure most of the time. Of the few games I've played half the time one or more players drop out. This is going to be a major paint point for players new and old, and it'll need improving quickly if this game is going to hold onto any significant player count.
What I think happened here
Making an AAA title these days is hard. It's expensive, and the resources and investment needed to deliver it are enormous. It's why we see so many games released that feel rushed or unfinished. Investors/publishers want to see a return on that investment at some point, it's just a reality of modern-day game development. HW3 was delayed several times and we still ended up with (in my opinion), a sequel that feels rushed and underbaked.
I suspect a lot of this was down to pressure from the publisher to:
A. Try to appeal to a wider market by simplifying the gameplay B. Cut the amount of content to get the product released sooner
Unfortunately for players like me, who wanted a uniquely Homeworld campaign experience has left me feeling wanting. And I'm really sad about that. There are clearly many talented folks at BBI, and I can't help but feel this isn't the game they wanted to release... like they could have used another year or two of development if they could perhaps?
The campaign ending left it open for the possibility of us seeing more content set after these events. I would be entirely open to that, but they'd need to fix some of issues that I'd outlined above if I thought it'd be worth my time and money. But that doesn't appear to be on the year 1 roadmap. My current experience with War Games sort of tells me I've wasted my money a bit if that's all we're getting.
Maybe, after the Year 1 roadmap we'll see the possibility of a continuation of the story - the hunt for the crew of Karan's ship for example.
TLDR
The campaign is too short, and while punctuated with genuine moments of delight, pacing is problematic and the player is often robbed of agency and a sense of wonder. Battles, while pretty, are ultimately a chaotic war of attrition due to simplified gameplay mechanics.
The campaign experience has felt rather shallow and underbaked. Players of previous HW titles will be left feeling like underwhelmed in my opinion.
However I'm sure many new players will enjoy the game much more, it is still one of the most unique titles out there at the moment.
6/10
Edit: formatting
2024.05.14 12:40 RockinBobbyDoyle Router Issues-Desperate
I’m paying Spectrum for 500mbps and have buffering several times a day on the two TVs we have. Speed Tests on the computer range from 60-80mbps. I unplug the router and modem and restart every other day. When I plug the modem Ethernet directly into the computer I get 300 mbps. On my iPhone I get 250-275mbps. I’m using a Deco AX1800-X20 whole home WiFi 6 mesh router. It has 3 units, I have evenly spaced around house. (2 downstairs, 1 upstairs Deco says up to 5,800 sq feet, we have 1550 downstairs and 725 upstairs. Houses are close together where we live, I see several neighbors WiFi. Mine is secured. My firmware is up to date. I’ve never messed with the settings on the router. Is there anything I can do to stop the buffering? I’d buy new equipment if it would make things better. Thanks in advance.
submitted by RockinBobbyDoyle to computers [link] [comments]
2024.05.14 12:40 oTalAmigoBi Wrapped up Superhot and Superhot: Mind Control Delete. The first one is a must-play, the second one not so much, but still pretty fun
Obviously skipping the VR one here as I do not have a VR set, nor am I planning in getting one.
SUPERHOT
At risk of hyping up a game that's already hyped up as a modern classic by a fair share of people, I have to say that Superhot is absolutely fantastic. Plays out like a really good mix of basic FPS gameplay and puzzles, in the sense that you actively have to figure out what's the next best move for you to do, as you clear out a room that would usually result in your death if played in real time. It's a great twist on the concept of shooters, and the result is an amazing game that is only held back by annoying button prompts and sections that are required to advance through the story.
The game was already great by itself, but it absolutely shines with the post-game challenges. No story segments to push through, just straight up gameplay, one level after the other, with different challenges that force you to see and replay the levels in a different style, to a point where you just zone out and fully focus on clearing level after level after level... at that point you're entranced, thus mimicking something the game talks about during the story.
It's simple. It's short. But you can get a lot out of it.
As for Mind Control Delete... there are ups and downs.
SUPERHOT: MIND CONTROL DELETE (MCD)
The best thing about this sequel is how they improved enemy AI. Katana wielders now deflect bullets as well, and if you throw something at a guy using a bat he will use it to cancel it out. They have more erratic movement, which can be either a plus or a negative to you. Personally I like it, makes it more challenging to kill the dudes.
On top of that, you now have several power ups that you can use to spice up your gameplay. You can spawn with a katana, or a random gun. You can be faster. You can have more bullets. You can become temporarily invincible by engaging in melee combat, skip your reload if your shot kills, accumulate HP as you kill more and more enemies, slow down bullets near you even further, increase your throwing strength so now shurikens come back to you if they hit an opponent... in short the powers are a great addition!
But to me... it lost a bit of the charm. This sequel plays like an entire game was made based around one of the alternative modes in the original Superhot (and not even my favourite), so it feels like a sort of spin off, rather than a true sequel. To me, the joy of Superhot was in figuring a carefully built level out (solving the puzzle) and then tackling it in different ways without getting hit, not even once!
MCD simply throws you into a gauntlet of levels (and give you at least 2 hearts, so you can get hit at least once) and while that is certainly fun... it feels a lot like a separate mode, rather than the Superhot experience I've had with the original. Which results in a game that feels more like a shooter employing Superhot mechanics, and is still technically Superhot, but it's just not the same. It's too random. Too reliant on killing X dudes in this well-designed room. At least the original could tell a very small, self-contained story with each level. In this one you're just there.
By no means do I consider the latest entry a bad game! Far from it. It just doesn't scratch the same itch.
CONCEPT
I'm using concept here instead of plot since it fits Superhot better. I mean... there is a plot and some lore, sure, but I feel this game is more concept-driven than the other way around. Meaning that there is a theme, and there is a narrative going on, but it all circles around this idea of the game being very addicting and spreading like a virus. Both the original and the sequel play off these tones, but in different ways.
SOUND
Other than certain sections, there is no music. Just straight up beautiful, satisfying, eargasmic sound design. I also enjoyed how in certain levels you can actually hear the background if you don't stop, especially in the Disco level in MCD where the music gets less muted if you keep moving, thus sort of influencing you to play it as close to real-time as possible.
FINAL THOUGHTS
Absolutely a modern classic for sure with an idea that just works in both gameplay and in a conceptual sense. MCD is also pretty fun, but if the puzzle aspect is what captivated you the most in the first game, curb your expectations a little before playing it.
submitted by oTalAmigoBi to patientgamers [link] [comments]
SUPERHOT
At risk of hyping up a game that's already hyped up as a modern classic by a fair share of people, I have to say that Superhot is absolutely fantastic. Plays out like a really good mix of basic FPS gameplay and puzzles, in the sense that you actively have to figure out what's the next best move for you to do, as you clear out a room that would usually result in your death if played in real time. It's a great twist on the concept of shooters, and the result is an amazing game that is only held back by annoying button prompts and sections that are required to advance through the story.
The game was already great by itself, but it absolutely shines with the post-game challenges. No story segments to push through, just straight up gameplay, one level after the other, with different challenges that force you to see and replay the levels in a different style, to a point where you just zone out and fully focus on clearing level after level after level... at that point you're entranced, thus mimicking something the game talks about during the story.
It's simple. It's short. But you can get a lot out of it.
As for Mind Control Delete... there are ups and downs.
SUPERHOT: MIND CONTROL DELETE (MCD)
The best thing about this sequel is how they improved enemy AI. Katana wielders now deflect bullets as well, and if you throw something at a guy using a bat he will use it to cancel it out. They have more erratic movement, which can be either a plus or a negative to you. Personally I like it, makes it more challenging to kill the dudes.
On top of that, you now have several power ups that you can use to spice up your gameplay. You can spawn with a katana, or a random gun. You can be faster. You can have more bullets. You can become temporarily invincible by engaging in melee combat, skip your reload if your shot kills, accumulate HP as you kill more and more enemies, slow down bullets near you even further, increase your throwing strength so now shurikens come back to you if they hit an opponent... in short the powers are a great addition!
But to me... it lost a bit of the charm. This sequel plays like an entire game was made based around one of the alternative modes in the original Superhot (and not even my favourite), so it feels like a sort of spin off, rather than a true sequel. To me, the joy of Superhot was in figuring a carefully built level out (solving the puzzle) and then tackling it in different ways without getting hit, not even once!
MCD simply throws you into a gauntlet of levels (and give you at least 2 hearts, so you can get hit at least once) and while that is certainly fun... it feels a lot like a separate mode, rather than the Superhot experience I've had with the original. Which results in a game that feels more like a shooter employing Superhot mechanics, and is still technically Superhot, but it's just not the same. It's too random. Too reliant on killing X dudes in this well-designed room. At least the original could tell a very small, self-contained story with each level. In this one you're just there.
By no means do I consider the latest entry a bad game! Far from it. It just doesn't scratch the same itch.
CONCEPT
I'm using concept here instead of plot since it fits Superhot better. I mean... there is a plot and some lore, sure, but I feel this game is more concept-driven than the other way around. Meaning that there is a theme, and there is a narrative going on, but it all circles around this idea of the game being very addicting and spreading like a virus. Both the original and the sequel play off these tones, but in different ways.
SOUND
Other than certain sections, there is no music. Just straight up beautiful, satisfying, eargasmic sound design. I also enjoyed how in certain levels you can actually hear the background if you don't stop, especially in the Disco level in MCD where the music gets less muted if you keep moving, thus sort of influencing you to play it as close to real-time as possible.
FINAL THOUGHTS
Absolutely a modern classic for sure with an idea that just works in both gameplay and in a conceptual sense. MCD is also pretty fun, but if the puzzle aspect is what captivated you the most in the first game, curb your expectations a little before playing it.
2024.05.14 12:37 ottermail806 How to stop getting math quests?
 | A couple weeks ago I decided to try the math course just for fun and ever since then it’s been showing up in my quests. I’ve deleted the course and I’ve been ignoring the quests for the past month but they’re still showing up. Obviously I could just do them but as it’s so easy it kind of feels like I’m just farming XP/cheating. Also, I feel like I’d be spending time doing these braindead math exercises instead of doing my language. Will they go eventually if I just keep ignoring them or am I stuck with them forever? I get one basically every day so it just means I can complete one fewer quest each time which is annoying when I’m trying to reach the monthly challenge. submitted by ottermail806 to duolingo [link] [comments] I was just sure that deleting the course (i.e. deleting my progress) would get rid of them but if that didn’t do it I don’t know what else to do. |
2024.05.14 12:36 Several-Incident-315 Universe doesn’t want me to eat TW numbers
So for me, lately, i don’t keep anything that i can eat without having to cook other than healthy stuff like rice cakes, fruit, veggies, canned sardines etc , because if i have good tasting food easily available im scared i will eat it multiple times in a day. I don’t binge (i say I do but in reality this is like a couple days in the past few months i ate at maintenance) but i am terrified of the possibility of it. I’m a good cook so i have an excuse at least, but the meals I prepare are usually very very low calorie or small anyways
anyways ive been trying to get myself to eat because my restriction is getting worse. At first it was just >! 1200-1300 calories !< and i was already feeling exhausted and sick because I’m fairly active, but this past week I’ve gone >! Sub 1000 and sometimes under 500 !< . I’m feeling worse than ever before so i was like, ok, i have to eat real food. But then shit happens. I went out to eat and i found a hair in my food so had to stop. I went to a bakery i was really excited about and what i got was dry and mediocre so I stopped eating it.
The kicker was last night i ordered Thai food. The piece de resistance. I psyched myself up a lot for it and was proud of myself. But the place is cash only. Their on site ATM was broken. I wandered around and every shop with an ATM inside was closed. I found an outdoor atm and was excited but THAT ONE WAS BROKEN TOO. I took this all as a message that i was not meant to eat. I’m so hungry lol. I broke down crying in the parking lot and then in a churchyard . Even if I’d found the cash at that point i don’t think i would’ve gone to get my food. It was settled. Some higher power wants me to starve. I’m superstitious for whatever reason and probably delusional from hunger as it is. I am not even working out because of my weakness. Just walking. Nothing tastes good enough to justify the calories. It’s all a waste. All i can think about all day is my mom’s cooking and that’s the only thing i could psyche myself up to have right now and she’s a 5 hour drive away.
submitted by Several-Incident-315 to EDAnonymous [link] [comments]
anyways ive been trying to get myself to eat because my restriction is getting worse. At first it was just >! 1200-1300 calories !< and i was already feeling exhausted and sick because I’m fairly active, but this past week I’ve gone >! Sub 1000 and sometimes under 500 !< . I’m feeling worse than ever before so i was like, ok, i have to eat real food. But then shit happens. I went out to eat and i found a hair in my food so had to stop. I went to a bakery i was really excited about and what i got was dry and mediocre so I stopped eating it.
The kicker was last night i ordered Thai food. The piece de resistance. I psyched myself up a lot for it and was proud of myself. But the place is cash only. Their on site ATM was broken. I wandered around and every shop with an ATM inside was closed. I found an outdoor atm and was excited but THAT ONE WAS BROKEN TOO. I took this all as a message that i was not meant to eat. I’m so hungry lol. I broke down crying in the parking lot and then in a churchyard . Even if I’d found the cash at that point i don’t think i would’ve gone to get my food. It was settled. Some higher power wants me to starve. I’m superstitious for whatever reason and probably delusional from hunger as it is. I am not even working out because of my weakness. Just walking. Nothing tastes good enough to justify the calories. It’s all a waste. All i can think about all day is my mom’s cooking and that’s the only thing i could psyche myself up to have right now and she’s a 5 hour drive away.
2024.05.14 12:35 MachineWorldly9600 Revisiting an old favorite.
Solitude and quiet reflection have brought me back to my bookshelf. I found this book — it was my favorite years ago, somehow I forgot it. It was always on my shelf. Resisting the urge to point to the obvious but still pointing to it. I’m always afraid I’m going to miss something so I miss the tiny things, something like that, right?
I resonated so strongly with these confessionalists at the time, these deep romantic stories.
Feeling the strangest sense of… Dejavouz. Not that one, another one. Another ephemeral word that would encapsulate the beauty of love, the passion of the flame of it all, the enduring understanding to stick it through. Something beautiful, almost like Mono no aware, a quiet smile, knowing that one day everything will be different.
I found these and am sending them through the airwaves to you, past you, or present you, if you are open to reading them.
“To avoid discovery I stay on the run. To discover things for myself, I stay on the run...”.
“And I thought of us, years and years later, you and I, in Paris, and how you seemed to be saying we had every choice, every chance. You acted as though you were free, but you were a ransom note. I paid to watch. I watched your fingers, your red mouth. I watched you undress. I didn't see you go. Later I was still paying and I never counted the cost. You were worth it. Again and again you were worth it. My heart has unlimited funds. Draw on them. Draw them down. Draw me down on top of you. How much? Everything? All right.”
“What is it that I have to tell myself again and again? That there is always a new beginning, a different end.”
Quotes by Jeanette Winterson in the PowerBook. A book on my shelf that I’ve had longer than I ever knew you. It was on my green bookshelf in the house we once shared, even. I don’t have a beautiful way to wrap these up but do you see the thread?
((To the readers of the sub who are looking for their person, I am not her. This is just for one person, a beautiful, brilliant woman who I had an in person relationship with for years. I will not be sharing our story, there’s mountains between us and I wanted to piece these all together in a thought collage and no, please don’t tell me to reach out, that is not your place to decide. It’s hers. Thank you.))
I did find one that you, a stranger, may enjoy, from the same book.
I keep telling this story - different people, different places, different times - but always you, always me, always this story, because a story is a tight rope between two worlds.
Missing you with nothing but silly appreciation, to my ex love, from their ex love.
submitted by MachineWorldly9600 to UnsentLetters [link] [comments]
I resonated so strongly with these confessionalists at the time, these deep romantic stories.
Feeling the strangest sense of… Dejavouz. Not that one, another one. Another ephemeral word that would encapsulate the beauty of love, the passion of the flame of it all, the enduring understanding to stick it through. Something beautiful, almost like Mono no aware, a quiet smile, knowing that one day everything will be different.
I found these and am sending them through the airwaves to you, past you, or present you, if you are open to reading them.
“To avoid discovery I stay on the run. To discover things for myself, I stay on the run...”.
“And I thought of us, years and years later, you and I, in Paris, and how you seemed to be saying we had every choice, every chance. You acted as though you were free, but you were a ransom note. I paid to watch. I watched your fingers, your red mouth. I watched you undress. I didn't see you go. Later I was still paying and I never counted the cost. You were worth it. Again and again you were worth it. My heart has unlimited funds. Draw on them. Draw them down. Draw me down on top of you. How much? Everything? All right.”
“What is it that I have to tell myself again and again? That there is always a new beginning, a different end.”
Quotes by Jeanette Winterson in the PowerBook. A book on my shelf that I’ve had longer than I ever knew you. It was on my green bookshelf in the house we once shared, even. I don’t have a beautiful way to wrap these up but do you see the thread?
((To the readers of the sub who are looking for their person, I am not her. This is just for one person, a beautiful, brilliant woman who I had an in person relationship with for years. I will not be sharing our story, there’s mountains between us and I wanted to piece these all together in a thought collage and no, please don’t tell me to reach out, that is not your place to decide. It’s hers. Thank you.))
I did find one that you, a stranger, may enjoy, from the same book.
I keep telling this story - different people, different places, different times - but always you, always me, always this story, because a story is a tight rope between two worlds.
Missing you with nothing but silly appreciation, to my ex love, from their ex love.
2024.05.14 12:35 john_moore758 Top Email Warmup Tools and Software for Enhanced Deliverability
In the world of email marketing, deliverability is key. No matter how compelling your content is, if it doesn't reach your audience's inbox, it's all for naught. That's where email warmup tools and software come into play. These handy tools help you build trust with email service providers (ESPs), establish your sender reputation, and ultimately increase the chances of your emails reaching the intended recipients. But with so many options out there, which ones are the best? In this comprehensive guide, we'll explore the best email warmup tools and best email warmup software that can supercharge your email deliverability.
Monitoring: Look for tools that monitor your sender reputation and deliverability metrics.
Customization: The ability to customize warmup schedules based on your specific needs and email volume.
Reporting: Detailed reports on email deliverability, open rates, and engagement metrics.
submitted by john_moore758 to u/john_moore758 [link] [comments]
1. What is Email Warmup?
Email warmup is the process of gradually increasing the sending volume of your email campaigns to establish a positive sender reputation with email service providers (ESPs) like Gmail, Outlook, and Yahoo.2. Why is Email Warmup Important?
Email warmup is crucial because it helps you avoid landing in the dreaded spam folder. By gradually increasing your sending volume and engaging with your subscribers, you demonstrate to ESPs that you're a legitimate sender, not a spammer.3. How Do Email Warmup Tools Work?
Email warmup tools typically automate the process of sending emails to a gradually increasing number of recipients over a specified period. They also monitor your sender reputation, provide insights into deliverability issues, and offer recommendations for improvement.4. Key Features to Look for in Email Warmup Tools
Gradual Sending: Tools should allow you to increase sending volume slowly over time.Monitoring: Look for tools that monitor your sender reputation and deliverability metrics.
Customization: The ability to customize warmup schedules based on your specific needs and email volume.
Reporting: Detailed reports on email deliverability, open rates, and engagement metrics.
5. Top Email Warmup Tools and Software
1. Warmup Inbox
Warmup Inbox is a popular choice for its simplicity and effectiveness. It offers customizable warmup schedules and real-time monitoring of your sender reputation.2. Mailwarm
Mailwarm automates the warmup process and provides detailed analytics to track your progress. It also offers personalized warmup plans tailored to your sending needs.3. GlockApps
GlockApps offers comprehensive email testing and warmup solutions. It helps you identify deliverability issues and provides actionable insights to improve your sender reputation.4. MailGenius
MailGenius combines email warmup with email deliverability testing. It provides recommendations to optimize your email content and increase engagement.5. Mailwarm.io
Mailwarm.io offers a user-friendly interface and customizable warmup schedules. It also provides real-time alerts for any deliverability issues.6. WarmupMyEmail
WarmupMyEmail specializes in warming up dedicated IPs to improve deliverability. It offers flexible warmup plans and ongoing monitoring of your sender reputation.7. Lemwarm
Lemwarm focuses on warming up your email domain to establish trust with ESPs. It offers personalized warmup strategies based on your domain's reputation.8. Mailwarmup
Mailwarmup provides automated warmup sequences and detailed reports on your sender reputation. It also offers deliverability consulting services for further optimization.9. WarmupBoss
WarmupBoss offers customizable warmup plans and proactive monitoring of your sender reputation. It helps you maintain a positive reputation with ESPs.10. WarmupSMTP
WarmupSMTP specializes in warming up SMTP servers for optimal deliverability. It offers advanced warmup strategies and ongoing support to ensure inbox placement.Conclusion
Enhancing email deliverability is crucial for the success of your email marketing campaigns. By utilizing the best email warmup tools and best email warmup software, you can establish a positive sender reputation, avoid the spam folder, and ensure your messages reach your audience's inbox.FAQs
- What is the purpose of email warmup?
- How long does email warmup take?
- Can I warm up my email manually without using a tool?
- How often should I warm up my email?
- Are email warmup tools necessary for small businesses?
2024.05.14 12:34 Choc-Blocked Shy Girl At Work
There's a girl in my old workplace I think about still frequently. I've never had so many mixed signals.
Context: Work together in a restaurant in Europe with live-in staff accommodation.
Me: 36, 5'7 150 pounds, used to be beautiful but my face has melted with age.
Her: 23/24 (had birthday) petite and slender, very quiet and softly spoken. Not outright antisocial but just struggles to think of things to say, much like myself. Lots of eye contact when we talk but little otherwise. She makes even less with others. All we ever did was make small talk really. Nose ring. Possible nipple ring.
Reasons she might like me: (in chronological order from arriving to quitting, first four are very mild)
Before we started a shift together and introduced myself, I pass her a couple of times on my induction. The first she mentions to her female friend she needs a haircut and the second time she has got a super low cut top on (never seen her wear it before or since).
We meet properly and I think it goes OK. I compliment her voice and she smiles. I compliment her again at the end and she brushes the front of her hair, looks pleased and slightly flustered.
The next 10 or so days nothing much at all happens we just make small talk like always and are nice to each other. I think I can see a nipple piercing but can never quite tell.
Came downstairs when I was working and asked if I wanted some small packets of chips she bought and didn't like. I say sure and give her some change.
OK here we go. I come down to start my shift and she catches me just before we go in. She is completely dolled up, with pink pigtails, and says her name tag has broke, rubbing her boob over her clothing where the tag should go. I just look and smile and go oh and walk off with a semi (sigh). She follows me into the dining room and says she has fixed it now. All my **** tier gane can manage is "have you got any tattoos" She rolls up her sleeve crazy quick and shows me one on her shoulder. I say it looks expensive and walk off. 2 mins later she wants to practise my waitering skills by pretending to be a customer. She sits at a table and I go "what can I get you, young lady? In my best flirty voice. I think a customer came in at that point so we stopped. *Later she pretends to through a pen at me with a big smile, she then walks over and gives it me. *She clocks me out my shift for me. Fin.
We were polishing cutlery in the back alone for the first time (she said the supervisor had sent her) and she said do you wanna listen to music, she puts Fantasy by Maria Carey on my phone?
Another colleague asked if I wanted to go for a walk with her dog, we did but she is a piss head and I have zero attraction. Two days later, I see X again and in the loudest voice I've ever heard her use, just blurts out I banged on the window and waved out you yesterday! I didn't see her. I just go should have knocked harder then and go into a different room briefly. She then sits next to me for a bit.
Next day says she waved again. Again I have missed it. Stands next to me during the fire drill.
She went home for her birthday and has gotten her nails done. They look nice and all, but she is constantly flaunting them at me (stroking the radiator, the clipboard whilst I'm next to her.) I say they look expensive, then remember I said the sane compliment about her tatt (sigh).
***Reasons she doesn't like me
*Has never ever touched me apart from accidental very brief, platonic fingehand touching when passing items to each other.
*Never brought up sexual topics/things once.
In two months has touched three other male coworkers once each, one on the back, the others pretending to dust *** off their uniform. The WEIRD thing was they were all just as I had entered the room? She went on a date with one of them before I started, but she said nothing happened, and him and the other guy displayed absolutely zero interest in her sexually at any time (didn't touch her back) He left about 1 week after I started.
She did go for at least one walk with thr guy and for drinks with him and supervisor. They invited her but not me. I saw them all and they spotted me and turned round and she waved briefly. I left shortly after.
Towards the end she wad pining (exaggeration but only just) for the supervisor guy when he's not there. I think she means it in a work context as she is put in charge when he's not there and struggles a lil bit because of her quietness. But what do I know?
I mentioned the kitchen staff thought I was gay, and she said "are you?" in a strange stern tone.
I leave job. I still have some feelings for her. I need closure (she had no socials I can contact her on).
Thanks for coming to my Tedtalk.
submitted by Choc-Blocked to Crushes [link] [comments]
Context: Work together in a restaurant in Europe with live-in staff accommodation.
Me: 36, 5'7 150 pounds, used to be beautiful but my face has melted with age.
Her: 23/24 (had birthday) petite and slender, very quiet and softly spoken. Not outright antisocial but just struggles to think of things to say, much like myself. Lots of eye contact when we talk but little otherwise. She makes even less with others. All we ever did was make small talk really. Nose ring. Possible nipple ring.
Reasons she might like me: (in chronological order from arriving to quitting, first four are very mild)
Before we started a shift together and introduced myself, I pass her a couple of times on my induction. The first she mentions to her female friend she needs a haircut and the second time she has got a super low cut top on (never seen her wear it before or since).
We meet properly and I think it goes OK. I compliment her voice and she smiles. I compliment her again at the end and she brushes the front of her hair, looks pleased and slightly flustered.
The next 10 or so days nothing much at all happens we just make small talk like always and are nice to each other. I think I can see a nipple piercing but can never quite tell.
Came downstairs when I was working and asked if I wanted some small packets of chips she bought and didn't like. I say sure and give her some change.
OK here we go. I come down to start my shift and she catches me just before we go in. She is completely dolled up, with pink pigtails, and says her name tag has broke, rubbing her boob over her clothing where the tag should go. I just look and smile and go oh and walk off with a semi (sigh). She follows me into the dining room and says she has fixed it now. All my **** tier gane can manage is "have you got any tattoos" She rolls up her sleeve crazy quick and shows me one on her shoulder. I say it looks expensive and walk off. 2 mins later she wants to practise my waitering skills by pretending to be a customer. She sits at a table and I go "what can I get you, young lady? In my best flirty voice. I think a customer came in at that point so we stopped. *Later she pretends to through a pen at me with a big smile, she then walks over and gives it me. *She clocks me out my shift for me. Fin.
We were polishing cutlery in the back alone for the first time (she said the supervisor had sent her) and she said do you wanna listen to music, she puts Fantasy by Maria Carey on my phone?
Another colleague asked if I wanted to go for a walk with her dog, we did but she is a piss head and I have zero attraction. Two days later, I see X again and in the loudest voice I've ever heard her use, just blurts out I banged on the window and waved out you yesterday! I didn't see her. I just go should have knocked harder then and go into a different room briefly. She then sits next to me for a bit.
Next day says she waved again. Again I have missed it. Stands next to me during the fire drill.
She went home for her birthday and has gotten her nails done. They look nice and all, but she is constantly flaunting them at me (stroking the radiator, the clipboard whilst I'm next to her.) I say they look expensive, then remember I said the sane compliment about her tatt (sigh).
***Reasons she doesn't like me
*Has never ever touched me apart from accidental very brief, platonic fingehand touching when passing items to each other.
*Never brought up sexual topics/things once.
In two months has touched three other male coworkers once each, one on the back, the others pretending to dust *** off their uniform. The WEIRD thing was they were all just as I had entered the room? She went on a date with one of them before I started, but she said nothing happened, and him and the other guy displayed absolutely zero interest in her sexually at any time (didn't touch her back) He left about 1 week after I started.
She did go for at least one walk with thr guy and for drinks with him and supervisor. They invited her but not me. I saw them all and they spotted me and turned round and she waved briefly. I left shortly after.
Towards the end she wad pining (exaggeration but only just) for the supervisor guy when he's not there. I think she means it in a work context as she is put in charge when he's not there and struggles a lil bit because of her quietness. But what do I know?
I mentioned the kitchen staff thought I was gay, and she said "are you?" in a strange stern tone.
I leave job. I still have some feelings for her. I need closure (she had no socials I can contact her on).
Thanks for coming to my Tedtalk.