(apologies if this gets a bit rambly. I'm just super hyped about these developments, and I wanted to share them with others who might understand)
It's been a few months since I started to realize I'm part of a system. I've been really trying to open up communication to get to know my headmates, but the most we managed (aside from one stressful incident I haven't been able to recreate under normal circumstances) was all very vague emotions tossed at each other with maybe two or three words attached.
This morning I suddenly remembered all those times I would "zone out" while drawing something and have a full sketch in front of me when I zoned back in. It suddenly clicked that I may not have been the one drawing those things, so I got out some paper to test my hypothesis, and... it worked!
It was such a surreal experience watching my hand (our hand I guess) drawing without controlling it myself, but it was super cool! Jon drew pictures of himself and a couple other headmates (one of which I didn't even know about until today), He couldn't seem to get out any Actual Words beyond their names and answering a couple yes/no questions, but it's off to a great start!
Next time we go shopping I think I'm gonna pick up an actual sketchbook for Jon (or whoever else) to draw in whenever he wants. I think that will be a great development in our journey into plurality, so I'm super hyped to make that next step!

This topic has been done a lot so this post is nothing special at all, but I figured I might as well do one. As a disclaimer, this is just my personal thoughts and ideas and is 100% not final nor will they happen, this is just for fun. This also might be a long post.
These are Pokemon I feel deserve a Regional Form, Regional form evolution or even Cross-Gen Evolution to make them stand out or even make them more powerful. These forms I'm listing are by Gens and are based on aspects of the Kalos Region, real life France or even its Mythology that could help create the Regional Forms of the Region. Plus, I decided to give my ideas for what the Starters could be and their final evo's Regional form (even if it's going to be pretty obvious for the Grass and Water, not so much for Fire, that one was hard)
A quick honorable mention would be Dachsbun, a very good boy who debuted SV so it's not going to be in Legends which is a shame because a baguette, croissant or some other French bread Regional form or Evolution of Dachbun sounds good. I could imagine the evolution being Fairy/Fire (for it's references to its Ability and it looks like baked bread) or Fairy/Ground (due to wheat coming from the ground) and those type combos haven't been done yet so hopefully LZA can fill those different combos up.
Another honorable mention is Charcadet as it could have a similar scenario to Eevee and have it's evolutions be of different types and based on different weaponry but it's an SV mon so sadly, it can't be the case.
Another disclaimer is that I'm not the best at explaining things but again, it's more like a brainstorm and not really serious
Starters:

• Serperior (Grass/Steel): Snivy and Piplup are pretty obvious for the Starters so here are my ideas for their Regional Forms. The Gen V Starters according to Ken Sugimori are based Western, Chinese (Emboar) and Japanese (Samurott) cultures with Serperior being based on Western royalty in places like Europe and is one of the few or only Pokemon based on a Manga character, Lady Oscar from Rose of Versaiise (set in during the French Revolution) and French kings like King Louis XIV.
  • My idea for this form is to take their Lady Oscar inspiration (who practiced Fencing), swordfighting, knights and Fencers to make this Serperior Grass/Steel, I tried to avoid the Fighting type because I wanted these 3 Starters to not use repeated types (Steel has been used once for Empoleon) of the past and focus on unused or rarely used types.
  • This line focuses on slash-based attacks and their stats which were Defensive and Speed based are more focused on Offense and speed. Their Hidden Ability I imagine is Sharpness and their signature move I could see being in line with Psycho Cut, Leaf Blade and Aqua Cutter being a crit-based Steel type slash move.
• Cinderace (Fire/Electric): Remember how I said the Grass and Water Starters were easy to choose and the Fire one isn't? Yeah, the Fire Starter was hard to choose because while Snivy and Piplup are based on royalty, Scorbunny has no distinction. When it came to the Fire Starters, Chimchar and Tepig were out of the picture due to Piplup and Snivy being there, Charmander and Torchic were also out since their evos have Megas, I've seen people say Torchic is the starter due to Roosters being the national animal of France but it and it's fellow Hoenn Starters have Megas and Mega Blaziken debuted in XY through a Mystery Gift when XY started so I don't see Torchic being the case and Fuecoco debuted in SV so that's off limits.
  • This left Scorbunny and Litten and Litten does have some French cat stories like the White Cat and the Mythological Matagot which takes on multiple forms other than cats but I couldn't really think of something for Incineroar so I went with Scorbunny because of it's Futbol (or Soccer) inspirations and FIFA being in France, not the main reason but I thought oh well.
  • It was then I thought about how I made Seperior to be a swordsman, a traditional knight of sorts and it gave me the idea that the first stages are based on royalty (aside from Scorbunny) but their final evolutions could be influenced by types of military/knight forces, swordsman for Seperior, line infantry for Cinderace and commander (or just Napoleon for Empoleon's case)/gunman/cannon person for Empoleon.
  • This Cinderace won't have a gun for a line infantry man but instead rushes to battle to take care of the opposing line quickly for the others to fight against the other army, so I chose Electric to represent that quickness. It's Hidden Ability could be Reckless since the line infantry's attacks can sometimes be reckless or a new ability related to it's signature move I call 'Iron Leg' that boosts Leg/Kick moves. It's Electric signature move is similar to Tachyon Cutter or Dragon Darts where it could kick the opponent twice possibly leaving them paralyzed.
  • As for it's stats? I don't think they change too much from the original, but I'd say in exchange for it's 75 DEF/SP.DEF going lower by 10 points, it becomes a bit faster and offensively strong (although 126 ATK and 129 SPE would be pretty insane, not too insane but I could see those aforementioned stat changes going to HP or something like that)
• Empoleon (WateIce): Napoleon, I think that's all I need to say... I'm just kidding, I'll keep going. I love Empoleon, Piplup was my first Starter but I always thought Empoleon's design looked like it would be a physical attacker with the blades and had Defiant until Gen IX so for this Empoleon, it would be a Physical attacker with it's SPA and SPD swapped with ATK and DEF and it would focus on cannon and 'gun' based attacks.
  • I imagine one of 2 Abilities for this Empoleon, Defiant, an Ability regular Empoleon had until SV or an Ability focused on Ball, Bomb and Cannon moves. It's Ice signature move I'm not sure of, maybe similar to Armarouge's Armor Cannon where it lowers DEF and SPD?

With the Starters done, here are the various ideas I had for various Regional forms, evolutions, etc that will never happen but it's for fun.
Dragons (because I had a lot of Dragon ideas)

• Druddigon (and an evo, Dragon/Rock): This idea I had for a Fakemon Region Dex based on Australia/New Zealand, but I thought this idea could work here as well. My idea for this Druddigon goes with its gargoyle inspiration where it becomes Dragon/Rock or has an evolution that becomes Dragon/Rock. This evolution I call Gargogon (another disclaimer, I'm terrible with names, from Gargoyle, Dragon and Don) where it embraces the gargoyle design and become something more intimidating maybe an ability relating to this aspect or having Intimidate as a Hidden Ability.
• Turtonator Regional or evo (Fire/Dragon or Steel/Dragon): I feel bad for Turtonator, no one talks about it and it's only notable for being a part of Kiawe's team in the Anime and I really liked Turtonator there, so I decided to give Turtonator some love. My idea is an evo based on the Tarasque, a type of turtle, dragon with a lion's head. What if this Pokemon evolved to be more protective of itself and appear more intimidating to others. It would keep the Fire/Dragon type but considering it's preevo would be able to use Eviolite with it's huge 136 DEF and it's good 85 SPD, I could make it as a Steel/Dragon regional form instead.
• Drampa Regional or evo (Dragon/Normal or Dragon/Fairy): I also decided to give Turtonator's counterpart some love as well, they would be based on another French Dragon the Guivre, a dragon who is said to spout a venomous breath. Ironically though, I could see this being Dragon/Fairy due to Drampa's mystical like appearance (and we need a regular Dragon/Fairy Pokemon since it's locked behind Mega Altaria) or keeping it's original Dragon/Normal type.
• Dragapult (Dragon/Water): The Regional Form Psuedo of the Gen similar to Goodra, I did a post talking about Regional Psuedos and Dragapult came to mind because I love Dragapult. My idea is related to Dreepy's Dex entry stating it was an aquatic Pokemon long ago. I wish it could've been a Paradox Pokemon to see what it could've looked like but Regional could work as well.
  • I say Regional but my idea here is what if there was a certain group of the Dreepy line that survived its original extinction and live their days within the canals of Lumiose trying not to die.
• Kommo'o (last Dragon I promise, Dragon/Ghost): This idea more fits with the Johto Region due to it's origins but I thought I'd mention it here. Kommo'o is based on monks with it's tail resembling a staff that monk's use. But something in my head made me think of another type of monk, an Onmyoji and Onmyodo from Japan. In many stories and even Manga/Anime for instance, they control spirits or the world to the otherside so what if Kommo'o was able to do a similar thing and contact spirits hence it's Ghost type. This concept again fits more with Johto than Kalos but I thought it could be interesting.
  
• Non-Dragons:
  
  • Convergent Gengar line (Dark): SV introduced the concept of Convergents, Pokemon that look like another Pokemon but aren't related and so I feel future games might introduce more Convergents so I decided to do one for the Gengar line based on the Beast of Gevaudan, a beast that wanders through the forests of France and is a man-eater. Convergent Gastly is a fuzzball, Convergent Haunter has small hidden legs and Convergent Gengar is a round wolf thing. I know Gengar has a Mega (and a GMAX) so Gengar would get more attention but well... I'm not sure what to say. This Pokemon would roam the streets of Lumiose.
  • Pidove line (Fairy/Flying): This line would be based on Pouters (a type of rock pigeon) and fancy pigeons, these are pigeons which have weird proportions (look up a Pygmy Pouter, they look very weird) such as freakishly long legs and puffed up necks that make it look like they can't breathe. What if these Pidoves were bred to look 'fancy' and ended up looking strange even gaining Fairy-like power in this state.
  • Electivire line (Electric/Ice): I love the Electivire line, so I decided to give it love. Electivire is based on an Oni but also yetis and bigfoot so what if this line was in the frosty forest above Dendemille Town who adapted to the harsh cold and gained icy abilities. This one wouldn't work in context of the game since it's set within Lumiose City and not the whole Region so this is one where it can't work but oh well.
  • Mandibuzz (Ghost/Flying): Since Braviary got a Regional form in Legends Arceus, I figured I'd give it's counterpart Mandibuzz a form based on the Grim Reaper or in this universe, how people see the reaper, a Kalosian Mandibuzz with a deathly look that peers within your soul.
  • Roserade (Grass/Ghost): This Roserade is based on Nightshades, a type of poisonous flower or any flower representing death.
  • Thievul evo (Dark): Thievul is based on gentleman thieves but could also have inspirations from Arsene Lupin by Maurice Leblanc, a French author so I think Thievul would fit very well in Kalos but there's also another story about a trickster fox named Reynard the Fox. I could see Thievul having an evo here that takes aspects from the story.
  • Torkoal (Water or WateFire): This one is pretty simple, a Torkoal based on a geyser, think of a semi-Volcanion based on cauldrons and geysers of boiling hot water. I'd imagine a signature Ability where it makes its Water moves have a chance of burning the target.
  • Magmortar line (Water or WateFire): Similar to Electivire, Magmortar is based on an Oni but it's also based on a bird called a Booby (yes, that's it's name) so what if this Magmortar adapted to the waters of Cyllage and became more aquatic. Again, this likely wouldn't work for the same reasons as Electivire (set in Lumiose) but it's a fun thought.
  • Gligar and a Regional Evo/or regional Gliscor (Ground/Poison: Last one for today. Gligar is my little guy and Gliscor is cool so what if it gained a Regional form based on desert scorpions like the yellow-tailed scorpion. These Gligar and evo stride through the ground using their stingers to stun their prey. Since it's not gliding, I imagine it would be an evo I call Striscor due to it striding along the sands.

And that's it for now, I know this post is huge and it's been done already but I thought I could give my personal thoughts on what could be in LZA. Let me know what you think and I hope these random ideas sound intresting.

Hi, it’s me, the annoying lesbian Eloise Stan back again to wage war against Sir Phillip Crane. Someone on insta posted a picture of Phillip and Eloise saying they can’t wait for their season. Many of the comments were loudly against it, with some comments being enthusiastic about Philoise and others who wanted lesbian Eloise. Admittedly, most of these are people shouting for Theo but I think theloise shippers would receive lesbian Eloise well, if it ever happens. In fact, I think if any of the Bridgertons have a queer endgame romance the one most fans would accept is Eloise. I would be pleased with any of the remaining siblings getting a queer romance but Eloise’s book makes me want her to live a sapphic happily ever after, far, FAR away from plant daddy Phillip. It’s no secret that Eloise’s book is one of the more problematic ones out of the bunch, I don’t even hate how it’s written or the general idea of what Julia Quinn was going for, but the execution turned Phillip into the absolute worst Bridgerton love interest. I really tried to enjoy their scenes in the book but the ick was so strong. It felt like Eloise settled for this guy who does not deserve her. I once saw a Philoise shipper say Theo doesn’t deserve Eloise because he threw a tantrum about her social status and I’m thinking….so she’s better off with the guy who has a temper tantrum because Eloise doesn’t wanna be his personal blow up doll? Lesbian Eloise would just fix her story. Show Phillip doesn’t seem bad, I will admit, however it seems a lot of people already see Eloise as queer so why not just go for it? And Julia Quinn has already said there is no contractual obligation to stick to the book couples. That’s it, that’s my small rant. Nothing I haven’t said before time and time again, but I am genuinely scared of fan reaction if Philoise is to be show endgame. I want to get to Gregory’s season and if even one season bombs, we may not get the rest, because Netflix is a fickle pickle.

In early 2020, while driving on the freeway, I wanted a chicken sandwich. At that time, I knew I could get one from three places: Chick-Fil-A, Popeyes, and Burger King. I couldn't tell you today how much it cost to buy from each location, but Chick-Fil-A sandwich costs were up above 5 or 6 dollars and Popeyes was selling their sandwiches, which only had sauce and pickles, but were juicy, for 3-and-change. Burger King's new chicken sandwiches were close to Chick-Fil-A quality, but at Popeyes' price.
Anyway, I wanted a sandwich and knew the closest one I could get was at Burger King. I got off the freeway and pulled into the lot. Then I saw there was a place I had never tried before, right in the same lot, called "Birdies". I went in and saw that they were selling arguably gourmet chicken sammiches, with no sides, for about $10.
(I posted a picture here, but don't want to get banned for Promotions before I've made my point)
I decided to try the original and, at another time, the spicy. Let me tell you: There were amazing chicken sandwiches. Miles above Chick-Fil-A, and Chick-Fil-A makes good sandwiches. They came on brioche buns, had custom coleslaw with pickled hot peppers in it, mouth-wateringly juicy chicken with a crispy crust (thick too!) and a delicious sweet sauce. I went there at least 3 or 4 times, thinking I would be a customer for life, despite the cost, just to support high-quality fast food where I was living.
Unfortunately for both of us (me and this fast-food company), the price was wearing me down. I pulled over with every intention of going into Birdies, but thought about the drain on my wallet and decided I would be more than satisfied with Burger King's spicy chicken sandwich. And that's when I realized There's Always A Better Chicken Sandwich, but it can't compete with the cost of a Good Chicken Sandwich.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a bridge game in Hell with Andy Rooney.

No notes in Paypal Prices include shipping
FirstSpear M4 Magazine Pocket Ranger Green 6/9
$25
Used minimally. Condition is like new.
EMG XM177E1 Colt Historic AEG (Cyma Platinum, GAU-5)
$325
Really wanted a retro ar15, but never got around to using it. Only dry-fired a few shots in the house. Otherwise, just sat in my room, brand new.
Magpul PTS Green Label MS2 Sling Black
$15
Used, some paint wear on the sling mounted portion. The plastic tri-glide that keeps the strap from dangling is cracked but easily replaceable. Otherwise, still 100% functional.
PIG AFC Pontoon Set Ranger Green
$10
Used, like new condition
LBX Lock and Load Chest Rig Ranger Green
$90
Used a few times, but still like new condition, no rips or tears. Maybe a smudge from the paintball field that I went to. I have other rigs that I use more often now. Has a lot of adjustment for extra small or large people.
Soldier Of Fortune Vietnam Tadpole Tiger Stripe Top and Pant
$45
Jacket and pant small size. Only worn twice, just too big for me. Treated with permethrin once.
If you have any questions, offers, or would like to see more pictures, please do not hesitate to ask. Post a reply in the thread first and YOU send a private message. Don't use the chat system, unless you want to wait (I use RiF). If you can't make a reply in the thread, I may not respond.

CW: animal abuse, self-harm/suicide, sexual assault
As the title says, I (23M) think I was in an abusive relationship (20M) and I’m embarrassed to admit to it and talk about it.
This guy (Mark) was one of my best friends. When I was leaving some horrifically abusive situations (I have a long history of allowing bad things to happen to me in relationships), he’d offer his place to stay. Eventually, I fell for him. The thing is, neither of us had the conversation of “yay boyfriends” we just lived like we were dating. Someone new started working with us (Jim). The guy had kind of a bad living situation, so I offered our couch whenever he needs it. Mark and Jim start spending a lot of time together. Drink together in the living room whenever possible. Whenever Jim would leave Mark would insist on walking him to his car. I’m not an idiot so one time I looked out the window and saw Jim sweep Mark’s hair aside and kiss him. I confronted Mark and he said that I’d never said he was my boyfriend, therefore this was okay. So, sobbing, I said of course, you’re my boyfriend, etc., whatever. I thought that this would make it stop. It didn’t.
Eventually I became the “weekday boyfriend” (I wish I was making this shit up). He’d see me on weekdays but he wanted the weekend to spend with Jim. He neglected me emotionally, was cold to me the rest of the time. One time him and Jim were in our bed, I went in there (we were all drunk but I was significantly more so, I was upset about the situation and didn’t make the smartest decision) and he kicked me out. I stumbled to the floor and laid there and he yelled at me to get up and go. I became so, so sad. I was constantly begging him to stop with Jim, I cried, I yelled, nothing had worked. I began overdosing on Benadryl routinely (please don’t do that) as a means of self harm I believe. I told him that I was suicidal and he went to Jim’s to “clear his head.” He found me in the bathtub listening to 50’s music with bottles of alcohol and empty pill bottles beside me.
He stopped seeing Jim, but I could never love him the same way.
Months down the road, (close to a year) I broke up with him. I explained that I just, couldn’t love him the same way I used to after what happened. One day I was hanging out with a mutual friend and he called me. When he found out I was with her he flipped out on me. I excused myself and went home (I still lived with him) and he said that I was trying to turn friends against him, etc. I was confused, and hurt by this, and now I was angry. Eventually he said something to the effect of “you’re right you wouldn’t do that I was overreacting.” A few weeks go by, during this time, any time I clean, he completely trashes the place by the next few days. He had dogs, and he’d tell me to stay in my room when he took them outside (honestly this wasn’t too abnormal and something I do too if I don’t want to deal with my dogs harassing someone, but one of mine is also aggressive so). He was spending a LOT of time with friends and would only swing by for his dogs though technically lived there. I also notice every mutual friend I contact won’t reply. I kinda shrug it off.
Then one mutual friend (Cindy) shows up at my door and asks if I’m ok. I tell her that I am, but I won’t let her inside (there was a ton of trash from Mark). She leaves, I call her later, and she tells me that one of my ex’s dogs died and he’d been A) telling everyone I did it, B) told people I’d been beating him (there’s a grain of truth to this. I get combative when I’m woken up certain ways due to a horrific sexual assault when I was 19 but he’d never made me feel bad about this yet would continue to wake me up like this until eventually I locked the door to my room every night and made sure to only fall asleep in there), C) he moved out without telling me. When she told me this, I was, honestly, relieved. I invited her back into the house to help me clean. I went into the room he kept his dogs (he’d moved them all out when he moved out) and guys, this was horrific. I called her sobbing and asked her to help me deal with the room. The entire day she was with me, it was literally just cleaning this one room, that’s how bad it was.
Then a few days ago I saw him make an instagram post in the same style I’ve done for years, where it’s a picture then some writing in the description. And from what I hear, he wants “to talk to me” about moving back in but “he’s scared to.”
I can’t believe that this happened guys. I was living in this situation and was fucking BLIND to it. I let it happen AGAIN. I’m so embarrassed by this and haven’t talked to anyone about just how bad it is. I want to be caring and tell him “I understand,” he’s bipolar and got laid off and I broke up with him, yadadada, but I’m so, so angry, too. No one in my personal life knows what’s going on, and frankly, I’m scared to tell them. I don’t think they’re going to believe me. I’d leave but I have nowhere else to go right now.

GUYS, i desperately need to become a shift you don't understand. It's not just the pay increase and guaranteed hours but I am SOOOO bored!! I will not quit are you kidding me, management and corporate behave like they've been infected with the devil but this competitive pay and benefits talk LOUDERRRRRRR HELLOOO. Im a uni student who relies on public transit so till i sav enough for a car most of my shifts would b like mids and opens when I'm an SSV
I've come to learn that this job is very personality based. I would describe myself as a focused, hardworking, no nonsense person. I literally do not feel the need to engage in conversation on the floo never initiate unless I see a cute new tattoo/hair colour my fellow barista is sporting or need to complain and that's abt it. I'm an extremely good convesationlist (I mostly xercise this w customers duhhh) but when I'm at work my focus is get in, do what I know and gtfo because I don't see them as friends they are my COWORKERs; Im telling you all this because I definitely think ur personality is a big part of how u go abt working at Starbucks at least that's what I've observed. I definitely always keep my pay in mind ($18.34 Ontario, Canada) and I refuse to work as if I'm two ppl. I work efficiently, with intentional movement so I can maintain AT LEAST where I'm deployed whether it's bar, DTO, warming etc etc, wherever I'm placed, I make sure my environment is beautiful, stocked, and functional because I refuse to operate in mess (and as a lil treat for the barista after me) and disorganation idgaf abt DT times, customers waiting, why would I spend 10 mins sliding on a slippery floor when I can mop it up in under a min??? come on nowwww cleanliness NEEDS to come first and it always will for me. You will not find me leaving spills, messes etc etc for late someone else
My manager is a great, beautiful and lovely as a PERSON, but is truly MS.Trunchbull on the floor so much so I've considered switching to the night team so i don't have to deal with her as much. She is prepared to help me with my shift but she's very DIY abt it, like I have to figure everything out myself she says things like we'll go as fast or slow as u want to go (I was alr warned by this b4 transferring) . She is VERY standard I'm pretty sure she even has a siren tat i hope i never see it bc u actually need to stop drinking the kool-aid lady like pls. She wants me to focus on coaching ppl as a barista which I've attempted (mainly on cleanliness, beverage accuracy, greeting." : but bro....these ppl literally dgaf... even when SSV's coach them. I've tried saying things like:
"I love how fast you're getting out drinks, I know speed is important, but wiping your bar and putting things back immediately will actually help with that and if you need support with that i could give u a hand"
"I cant belive ur done the pull!! that was fast, dont forget to collapse the boxes so garbage runs are less time consuming thanks so much"
"Omg this is so me, I always forget that the new refreshers come w a nitro lid too, if we're out do mind replacing it w a dome lid thankssss"
"Omg guys i look so silly when i greet by myself pls next time can we do it in harmony pls ill send u money"
I've learned that starting with a compliment is the most effective way
Being a barista u can turn ur brain off but it becomes mind numbing when ur well integrated into the job. I transferred from a cafe only with ppl who behave like its high school to the busiest drive thru in the district with less problematic ppl (as a girl + gay, sometimes the girls and gays get too comfortable and forget where they are). The SSVs here are extremely overworked/stressed out and attacked verbally you knowww the typical suck them dry run around. I'm the type of person who refuses to let a job such as Starbucks behave as if I owe them my life, I have great communication skills, I communicate problems, ask for support and just overall vocal. I refuse to get stressed on the job its just low value coffee pls relax. Sometimes the best ways to respond are: ok, understood, thanks for the feedback, got it etc etc. Even irate costumers cant get to me ill just be like sorry bout that bro, remake, refund or SSV which one u want.
I'm very casual abt my approach to the job, down to my work clothes (everyone says I always look so comfortable, BECAUSE I AM!) cause I refuse to treat it as the corporate environment it masquerades as, if ur not gonna put me on salary imma act like an hourly!!!! Even when I'm a shift (I'm very confident I will eventually get the position, God willing) I will take ALL my breaks and lunches IRDGAFFF
I need all tips and advice to become a Baista Trainer, Shift and then the best way to do the job while keeping cleanliness and well being of my fellow coworkers on the floor. Like I said, my manager is very DIY like all she tells me is coach and b a leader like ok, girl sure but I'm not gonna undermine the SSV. The environment i want to mimic, is basically old starbucks, a clean, well oiled machine, where baristas are actually happy and dont behave robotic when it comes to connecting or r just so BURNT OUT!
I feel like barista's at my store are scared to make mistakes, admit them too, are stressed and just feel pressure. I want to change this narrative at least when its my floor. Focus will b efficiency, and guess what DT times actually do nottt mean shit, they can yell all they want but if there's valid reasons for the time displayed and standard was upheld u literally can't knock me for it! and if i did something wrong of course I can b accountable. Im ok with being a by the book person (for me, I'm not gonna impose thison baristas, do it ur away as long as u get the right results) it doesn't bother me in fact its better bc its just makes things more straightforward
i dont plan to b strict, overbearing or whatever I'm literally trying to replicate a cozy cafe as much as i can which starts with happy baristas hellooooo. I want everyone to feel like they can freely communicate with me/ ask for support/ or just b honest and tell me things like if they physically cant handle being on like DTO anymore.
PLS give me every tipe advice u have I literally will b taking notes, Im literally thinking about making a digestable ultimate barista guide for anyone i train. thank u so much in advance and dont let this job stress u ever its not worth it, USE ALLLL ur benefits and stay happy and grateful luv u guys

Last November I got into a small accident. Icy roads and the wind pushed my vehicle and the front corner of my vehicle scraped (literally only scrapes, maybe small dents, I have pictures for visual proof) along side of an oncoming vehicle. The damage was along their front corner panel, driver door, rear driver side door, rear quarter panel. No one was injured but I do not have insurance and the other does have insurance. I was eventually reached out by a 3rd party for payment and they said the total bill was 8500$. My jaw dropped. I asked for a email of all of the work that was done and this is a list of everything that was done.
Left front bumper cover - Left front combination lamp - Left fender panel - Left fender outside - Left upper fender moulding - Left fender wheel opening moulding - Left front door shell - Left front door outside - Left front add for jambs and interior - Left front lower door moulding - Left rear door shell - Left rear door outside - Left rear add for jambs and interior - Left rear lower door moulding - Left rear door wheel opening moulding - Left rear lower door moulding again - Left roof moulding - Left quarter outer panel - Left quarter panel outside - Left quarter wheelhouse liner - Left quarter wheel opening moulding - Left quarter wheelhouse protector - Left quarter glass - Left rear seat back - Left rear combination lamp - Rear bumper cover - Paint/materials - Three stage - Mask for overspray - Restore corrosion protection - Prescan system - Postscan system -
I feel like because I don't have insurance that I'm being taken advantage of with a lot of unnecessary work because they can bill me whatever they want. I need advice on what I should do. Should I find a lawyer? I have 4 kids, another on the way, my wife and I both work but we don't make a lot of money. We have no savings. The 3rd party said they don't accept payment plans unless half of the total bill is paid upfront. They threatened to mail my county for suspension of my license. I live in the state of Iowa.
Edited for flair and easier reading format

I have just found this subreddit after watching a character on “the boys” and I am so relieved there’s other people like me.
However just a warning, there will be discussion of shame/regret, brief mention of self-harm (historic and non descriptive) and very graphic descriptions about the lengths I have gone to, in order to fulfil my desire (for lack of a better word) - compulsion maybe, and addictive behaviours.
I pull from every area of my body except my scalp and armpits. I am deeply ashamed about this behaviour and I have tried just about everything, Vaseline, gloves, plasters, keeping myself occupied, sewing, pulling things out or other things etc. fidget toys, watching those videos - they only seem to make me more frustrated. I can’t shave because feeling the hairs grow back and get itchy make it so I go into my skin, I then pick my skin. Moving tweezers doesn’t help because I use my fingers. The only thing I can think of is wearing clothes to cover everything up all the time - ski mask included with the three holes.
Nothing soothes me unless I actually physically pull my hair out and analyse it, rolling it inbetween my fingers, observing for bulbs, thickness and texture. Before that I can spend a long time just running my hands all over my body finding every bump and imperfection and taking note, looking for ingrowns, thick, wiry, different texture and those ones with multiple out of the same pore. This can be done while I am zoned out, but for the actual pulling itself I must be devoted to the action, alone, lit up, scouring, craned over, I contort into unimaginable positions just to get that hair, just for that brief moment of pleasure/relief. I give myself headaches, body aches and sprains. I have also given myself scars, I even at times, have dug into scars and scabs because there was a hair in it, this usually happens along my eyebrow and my snailtrail/landing strip/happy trail. But at times it has happened in my groin and legs. Recently, I haven’t been able to stop even if I am bleeding and it is causing me pain.
It started off with my eyebrows after a particularly stressful and depressive period in my life. I had also self harmed during this period and sought out alternatives. It worked, kind of, I stopped self harming and just started pulling my eyebrows out, along with other addictive substances, nothing illegal, just alcohol and nicotine. I balanced it between those three vices, I got a handle on the alcohol and nicotine. This happened around lockdown era, so I had no one telling me how weird or rough I looked.
Then came the dreaded lockdown lift. All of a sudden I was filled with fear and regret, one that was akin to the fear of people finding out I had self-harmed. People close and dear to me looked at me like I was a freak, would just snap at me to stop it and when I told them or tried to explain it, how it felt and why I couldn’t, I was just stared at as if I was a creature beyond their understanding. I then moved to more “secret areas” the groin, happy trail, legs. My eyebrows grew back and everyone seems to think I’ve kicked it.
When in reality it all has gone unchecked, leaving me with even deeper shame, that has only worsened since scarring began to happen, just close to two years ago. It has affected my relationships, because I do not want them to see me like this, doing this so I shut myself away to get my fix, I refuse intimacy when it gets too close out of fear of them seeing my body. I have also started to go back to my eyebrows because my legs aren’t “good enough” and my pubic area is bald and my snail trail is all scarred. Right from the waistline to just inbetween my chest. I fear that I am starting to move onto picking my skin, the scabs, the scars, spots or perceived imperfections.
I am at my rock bottom. I am deeply ashamed yet it is all I can think about, it is beginning to consume me, I am constantly scouring, constantly thinking about it. I am literally unable to sit still without the electric feeling running through me, in all my spots and fingers. I do it without thinking and I don’t like it when I do that, because I have to be aware of it to fully enjoy it. I am frustrated and ashamed all the time, I need relief, tapping isn’t working I genuinely am so desperate. Am I going to have to go to the doctor and get put onto something? I am worried that the extent I go to may push the doctor to do some more extreme measures like a mental asylum of some sort.
This is also on a throwaway account. But advice is needed. Long read, but thank you for reading.

• How old are you? What's your gender? Give us a general description of yourself.
-I am a 17 year old male from England and I’m currently studying philosophy, sociology and ancient history at college.
• Is there a medical diagnosis that may impact your mental stability somehow?
-I was diagnosed with autism at age 12.
• Describe your upbringing. Did it have any kind of religious or structured influence? How did you respond to it?
-I am an only child and lived in a secular family consisting of just me, my mum and my dad. Both of them were very laid back regarding discipline. One thing that could be said is that they gave me too much unconditional love, especially my mother. This, in turn, resulted in them not really teaching me important life skills and independence for fear of putting me in harms way. Thus, in the past 2 years I’ve had a bit of an awaking and have become hyper independent to remedy the lack of life skills and lessons taught during my early childhood.
• What do you do as a job or as a career (if you have one)? Do you like it? Why or why not?
-My ideal employment, realistically, would be a teacher. I really like the idea of taking on a task and being able to enforce original methods to attain the best possible results. That process is the general principle behind a lot of my interests and teaching is a job where it is present.
• If you had to spend an entire weekend by yourself, how would you feel? Would you feel lonely or refreshed?
-I Would feel refreshed. I get really tired when I’m around people. I think that may come from the fact that I tend to put on an act when I’m interacting with others in order to make them like me. This is a favourable result as the more people you are on good terms with, the more likely they are to be a potential asset to your life as opposed to a possible hinderance.
• What kinds of activities do you prefer? Do you like, and are you good at sports? Do you enjoy any other outdoor or indoor activities?
-I enjoy topics that are synthesised with progressing my main goal(s). For example, I enjoy learning about mbti because it is a component of my main goal to understand myself and thus can help me achieve happiness more effectively as I believe this is the main assignment of life.
• How curious are you? Do you have more ideas then you can execute? What are your curiosities about? What are your ideas about - is it environmental or conceptual, and can you please elaborate?
-I would consider my pursuits of curiosity to be loosely filtered through what may be useful to attaining a personal goal and I don’t often get carried away with ideas that have no overall importance to it. I say loosely because I can’t be certain what will be of importance to my pursuits, so for this reason I sometimes stray a from things that I know will be personally beneficial in the long term for things that could be useful, by virtue of the interconnectedness of everything.
• Would you enjoy taking on a leadership position? Do you think you would be good at it? What would your leadership style be?
-I would really like to take on a leadership position. I think I would be good at figuring out solutions and assigning them to people based on an overall objective. However I do not think I’d be very good at leadership in practice. This is because I’m not very quick at making decisions. Thus, my leadership style would be less about leadership and more being a personal adviser to members of a team to ensure they are all going in the same direction.
• Are you coordinated? Why do you feel as if you are or are not? Do you enjoy working with your hands in some form? Describe your activity?
-I don’t feel as though I’m very physically coordinated. I often have to focus on my environment and my movement at the expense of deeper thought. I’ve never really resonated with the popular notion that walks are therapeutic and thought provoking. For me, they are stressful and prohibit any other thoughts than the ones related to keeping my movement and environment in check.
• Are you artistic? If yes, describe your art? If you are not particular artistic but can appreciate art please likewise describe what forums of art you enjoy. Please explain your answer.
-I enjoy art that operates under the pretence that art is a language. I like art that communicates meaning. The reason why I like this type of art at all when it just seems like, if communication is the primary source of my investment, I should just focus on objective language rather than something as convoluted and prone to misinterpretation as art. To this I say, art elicits emotion and creates an immediate reason to care about the message. Thus, making the point carry to greater extent.
• What's your opinion about the past, present, and future? How do you deal with them?
-Most of my time is devoted to figuring out how to get to a desirable destination in the future. By the same token, the present is also very important to me as it is paramount to the aforementioned goal. The past is the timeframe I spend the least time thinking about when I’m happy. It’s not that I don’t consciously recognise it’s value in being a possible example for the future, it’s just not something I have a propensity to think about. I really only dwell on the past when I’m feeling down.
• How do you act when others request your help to do something (anything)? If you would decide to help them, why would you do so?
-My main reason for helping someone echoes an above mentioned sentiment. I would really only help someone to build good will with them, because it lowers the chances they will be a destructive force in your life. Moreover, they are indebted to you for a time which is always handy.
• Do you need logical consistency in your life?
-The primary system of logic I use is what has utility to achieving a goal. I’m not too bothered about logic for logics sake. I don’t live in the details of subjects and thus don’t care about the underlying logic, just what has the most personal utility.
• How important is efficiency and productivity to you?
-They are both really important to me. I like to see results. I always feel unfulfilled by the notion; I probably could achieve x and therefore there’s no point in doing y. I might switch to this mindset if I’m burned out as a coping mechanism for me not being able to express my desire to be productive. But that just emphasises it’s importance to me if I’m willing to change my beliefs to avoid the sadness brought about by unproductivity.
• Do you control others, even if indirectly? How and why do you do that?
-I control others implicitly by acting overly polite and sometimes resort to people pleasing to gain favour with them. This helps with the fact that I’m pretty dependent on what others think of me and their perceptions of me often supersede or coexist with my own beliefs and observations about myself, even if I can logically reason reason them to be erroneous judgements.
• What are your hobbies? Why do you like them?
-As mentioned in the desired career question, I enjoy hobbies that revolve around implementing original strategies to attain a desirable outcome. Because of this, I enjoy strategy games such total war and chess. once again, as mentioned previously another reason why I enjoy some hobbies is because they contribute to a larger goal. Such as my interest for mbti because, it allows me to understand myself, so I know how best to attain happiness and in turn, fulfil what I consider to be the primary objective of life in its most general form.
• What is your learning style? What kind of learning environments do you struggle with most? Why do you like/struggle with these learning styles? Do you prefer classes involving memorization, logic, creativity, or your physical senses?

• I get along fine with the typical learning environment of a classroom lecture. So long as the teacher is charismatic I can let my mind put on a stage performance of what’s being said and I tend to remember those quite well as my it forces me to filter everything through my own perceptions which results in personal meaning being attached to them and thus increases the likelihood I’ll remember the content of the lesson. However, I dislike when you are made to do an abundance of preselected and linear worksheets. I just like making notes with loads of arrows connecting everything. This helps me remember stuff because it displays how it’s all relevant to a bigger concept and doesn’t allow for stuff that isn’t connected to be written down so it filters out unimportant stuff.

• How good are you at strategizing? Do you easily break up projects into manageable tasks? Or do you have a tendency to wing projects and improvise as you go?
-I prefer to have a plan before action. I like to feel as though most things have been decided beforehand and I’m just reading off a to do list written by past me.
• What are your aspirations in life, professionally and personally?
-My professional aspirations are a means to an end. I want to get a job that I enjoy, is stable and provides an income, in the hope that I can stop thinking so much about it and can focus on the more personal aspects of life. Like figuring out how best to achieve happiness after I’ve stabilised my external life.
• What are your fears? What makes you uncomfortable? What do you hate? Why?
-I really fear upsetting people. Partly because I’m scared of how they will react. Especially in ways that could de-stabilise my life. Moreover, as I mentioned previously, I unfortunately have a propensity to need gratification from others and if I upset people I might begin to feel insecure in myself. A lot of what I do can be chalked up to an attempt to attain the admiration of others. I also fear not being able to make my plans and goals come into fruition.
• What do the "highs" in your life look like?
-The highs in my life often involve a dedication to a goal that gets me up every day. I’ll constantly be excited to get one step closer to achieving it. The goal when I’m happy revolves around a more thought out desire for the long term. Furthermore, this is accompanied by a disregard for the appearance of things. In these times I just focus on the character of things and perceive things through a lenses of principles and ideas. Moreover, the type of gratification I seek revolves around my capacity to think.
• What do the "lows" in your life look like?
-By contrast, my lows are aimless at best and destructive at worst. When Im considering the future in these moments I tend to forget about happiness and in turn have a bleak outlook on the future. This leads me to being generally quite unproductive. My gratification seeking becomes much more shallow aswell. It tends to revolve more around appearance and wanting others to view me as attractive. As a result of this I developed anorexia as a byproduct of trying to look more attractive in a period of stress. Moreover, it gave me something to control as I feel an excessive need to do this when I’m stressed.
• How attached are you to reality? Do you daydream often, or do you pay attention to what's around you? If you do daydream, are you aware of your surroundings while you do so?
-I do daydream, Though not as much as I used to. When I daydream it’s usually to test how something I wish to do might go if I were to do it.
• Imagine you are alone in a blank, empty room. There is nothing for you to do and no one to talk to. What do you think about?
-I would consider the main reason for my beliefs again and make updates to it that would eventually trickle down to actionable changes. If I didn’t manage to find any faults in my beliefs and principles of conduct I would keep my goal the same and think about things I could do to achieve it.
• How long do you take to make an important decision? And do you change your mind once you've made it?
-It usually takes me a little while to come to a decision, particularly if it has long term consequences, as I like to look at the external factors and see if they would suit me internally and/or if it would be beneficial to me in the future. Once I’ve come to a decision on a matter, ideologically I think it is best to stick to it because you can maximise the benefits that a particular path can provide. However, if the evidence changes and it contradicts the original reason for making the decision I will change my mind.
• How long do you take to process your emotions? How important are emotions in your life?
-It usually takes me a while to figure out my emotions. They often appear feint and undefined even though I know there’s something there. When I felt really down for months I couldn’t seem to validate my own emotions. To remedy this I tried to keep a journal collecting statistics including whether I cried, how many times? For how long? Have you self harmed in any way? this created a picture from which I could derive a conclusion. However, I have recently begun to value emotions much more than I did. Previously, I would’ve consciously neglected them. However, ever since I developed anorexia and had a really long period of time where I felt negative emotions I realise how powerful they are and how they must be utilised in your favour otherwise life wouldn’t be worth living.
• Do you ever catch yourself agreeing with others just to appease them and keep the conversation going? How often? Why?
-This is something I do quite often with people I’m not acquainted with, as I value the utility of a social connection more than convincing a few people of my beliefs. However, it happens less with people who I know well enough to comfortably make the assertion that an ideological disagreement wouldn’t jeopardise the relationship.
• Do you break rules often? Do you think authority should be challenged, or that they know better? If you do break rules, why?
-I avoid rule breaking that could lead to excessive repercussions. Since I purvey my conduct with the main intention of long term personal fulfilment some consequences that impede this mean that I generally obey rules. However if the consequences are avoidable and/or inconsequential I have no problem breaking those rules. Like cheating in exams for example.

TLDR - I'm unhappy and feel numb, what are my options. What would you do?
I've been with my wife for nearly 10 years to the day. We've been married for nearly 5 years.
When we met, I thought I'd met my soul mate. She was what I needed ioin my life, an extrovert to my introvert. Very sexual and satisfied me. A loving caring mother (she has two daughters).
I'm an aspie/ mildly autistic male with communication issues but try my best. Although this to be fair often involves just not talking when things get too difficult and bottling up my emotions.
I'm the breadwinner (is that even a term anymore?) but she earns a significant salary. However, my wife's money management frustrates me. We don't pool our finances, instead opting to contribute equally to utility bills, mortgage, food and household maintenance etc. She rarely has much money left at the end of the month, no savings, is in debt and she wastes her money on her fingernails, hair, botox treatment and ridiculous amounts of clothes and shoes. I'm no angel, I spend on my own interests but I'm never on a position where I can't afford to pay bills etc.
She has a company car (Tesla) which I pay half the payments for and I get to use it when she's not using it. I have my own transport too (a campervan which we all get to use and go away in) but she doesn't contribute to it.
She is a messy person. The tesla is a shit tip. She leaves half eaten food, wrappers, bottles and God knows what else in it. It irks the fuck out of me. I'm a fairly tidy person and one thing I can't stand is a messy dirty car. Even worse when it's a messy dirty 65k car that we don't even own and belongs to a lease company.
I mentioned she has two daughters. They're both teenagers now and completely disrespect and disregard my boundaries and rules (that's to be expected from teenagers, we've all been there). However, when I try and put my foot down, my wife rarely has my back and instead makes me out to be the bad guy. If I say no, she'll say yes.
The house is often a mess and I feel like I'm the secret tidier who goes around cleaning after everybody. However, she makes a big issue whenever she decides to grab the mop and start cleaning - making out like it's only her who ever cleans the house. I'll also add that I'm the person who cooks, does all the laundry and pretty much keeps the house as I clean as can without losing my sanity.
Over the years, her libido has totally disappeared. She's satisfied with sex once per month. Anything more is very unusual. I've got to the point where I can no longer tolerate the rejection so I just don't bother even trying to initiate it any more. Sex is the glue that holds a relationship together. Without it, you're just friends (or housemates) who share a bed.
We'd been together about a year when I bought my first apartment on my own. When we met I explained I needed my own space and time to recharge so we agreed to see each 3 or 4 times per week. She lived in a rented apartment at the time after divorcing her ex husband but couldn't afford the rent so she moved in with her mother. About 2 years after moving into the flat, and with her and her kids spending more and more time at my place (and the fact she hated living with her mother) I decided to ask her if she and the kids would like to move in with me. I basically felt sorry for her.
Fast forward a few years and she says that I asked her to move in because I needed her financial contribution to cover the bills (I was debt free at the time, really didn't need her money and had a large disposable income).
A few years later, after realising the apartment was just too small, we started looking for a house. We found one and my grandmother offered to gift a significant amount of money to me to help us purchase the house. This, along with the sale of my apartment enabled me to buy the house. At no point in any of this did she contribute anything. She had no money to offer. She does pay half the mortgage and half the bills etc.
Basically, I've fallen out of love with her. I love her as person but that's about it. I'm numb to her. If I found out she was having an affair, I really wouldn't give a shit and it'd be a great reason to break up and move.
She controls me, she's always overly interested in my phone, if I'm typing she wants to know 'who I'm texting' (this is a woman who basically can't put her phone down, glued to her hands).
I recently had my 40th birthday. I asked her not to arrange any surprise gatherings because I'm really not a social person and get really overwhelmed, even when it's family. Anyway, she arranged a surprise party. I hated it. I loved seeing my family but I just neglected them all as I couldn't talk to them all and the whole thing just felt really awkward. I was expecting a night out with a few friends, where I could relax and have a few drinks. Instead I turn up to a surprise party completely sober and socially awkward. I feel ungrateful but she's known me 10 years and knows how much social situations stress me out, especially without alcohol to 'grease' the gears.
Given the house was bought prior to marriage and the mortgage is in my name, can I buy her out based on the total mortgage payemnts etc she's made or is it a case of splitting everything down the middle? Neither of us will be broke of we split. The kids aren't mine. I'm rambling now because I've had a few drinks, I'm upset and it's late. I don't know what to do. I don't want to be stuck in this sexless boring mundane marriage any more but don't want to lose the house that she's barely contributed to. In terms of mortgage payemnts, it's 12.5k in the last 5 years or so that she's contributed, vs 60k of my own contributions and 45k of the money gifted by my grandmother.
Do I lose it all? What do I do? What would you do?

Sorry for the massive amount of text, If you don't want to read any background I wrote a TLDR below that just contains my thoughts on what I think I have and some pictures of my scalp.
Hello, I've been balding for about 9 years now, when it first started happening my doctor told me it was probably MPB so I shaved my head down when about my life, I noticed I often had a lot of redness on my scalp but thought it was just my skin (I do have a natural redish tone to my skin). Recently I decided I wanted to see what it would look like if I grew out my hair since my head is shaped like E.T, I started using ketoconazole 2% for a few weeks and noticed my hair got much darker and fuller after a few weeks, I added on 1mg/day (it's been a month now) to see what kind of gains and I have been having some decent regrowth even in places where I was previously completely bald. While I've been regrowing my hair I paid more attention to the redness on my scalp and how it was located near the thicker areas of my scalp, it seemed like the skin on my scalp started 'thinning' if that makes sense, it almost looked like like the redness is almost eating up the areas of my scalp that have hair, and in the areas that no longer have thicker scalp the hair is still there but it doesn't seem to grow at all, it will stay a follical with a little black dot in it or a tiny white hair growing out (recently some of these turned into full terminal hairs).
There's also areas that look like that are "scarred" like this but it seems like the follicals inside the 'scar' are not scarred over or completely dead, the hair just doesn't grow in it. I've been getting some hair regrowth and it seems like it comes back in a 'wave' where the scalp will thicken, and the hair will start to grow, and then the hair beside it will start to grow and so on, but this regrown stops completelly when it gets to an area with redness.
I'm obviously going to see a dermatologist in a week (takes a while to get appointments here) but my dermatologist is very quick and doesn't seem to like actually getting to the bottom of things and will often dismiss things quickly, for example when I first asked him if anything looked off on my scalp he just looked at it quickly (from 2 ft away) and said "seems like male pattern balding, nothing else unusual", but I learned that typically this is something you'd diagnose with tools not from 2 ft away, so I'm hoping I can get some help figuring out what I might have ans what the right questions might be.
TLDR;
I personally am almost completely convinced I have tinea capitis, reason being:

1. The redness has gone down as I've used ketoconazole 2% in combination with selsun blue, prior to using them my entire crown had a red ring around it (near the areas where the scalp skin stops being thin)
2. I have odd regrowth that does not seem to be standard MPB regrowth, the hairs seem to come back thick (as opposed to thin regrowth expected with MPB after years of being bald in that spot) but some of the hairs look really weird and will spiral or have a shape like a question mark, or just stay a black dot within the follical and not come out (which seems typical of tinea capitis).
3. I've had ring worm in the past on other parts of my body but did thing it was related, it's been a while so I forget what I was prescribed but I did have a cream that seemed to help it go away.
4. Some of the hairs come out looking like they have some whiteish coat (see pictures below) which seems typical of tinea capitis.

I have some pictures below, please let me know if you think I might be way off on it being tinea capitis, and let me know if there are any questions you think I should ask my dermatologist (and what kind of tests I should take) because he is very unwilling to do anything outside the bare minimum unless I push.
Some ideas I have thought of that it could be :

• Discoid lupus Erythematosus.
• Dermatomyositis
• Demodex Folliculorum
• Psoriasis

Pictures
Redness all over scalp from 3 weeks ago prior to starting using ketoconazole 2% regularily (every other day)
Top view: https://i.imgur.com/ZIVzGUO.png
Front view: https://i.imgur.com/vpmX0o9.png
'Scarred' areas where the hair doesn't grow (or the hair there is very faint)
Example 1: pic 1
Example 2: pic 2
Example 3: pic 3
Example 4: pic 4
Scales coating the hairs (yellow arrow) with cigarette ash-shaped hairs
Example I found online**:** https://i.imgur.com/TiKBRtO.png
How my hairs look: https://i.imgur.com/xS6Acg4.jpeg
How my hairs look 2: https://i.imgur.com/Dut175R.jpeg
Closeup view: https://i.imgur.com/5j31Tkx.png
Comma hairs (purple arrow), corkscrew hairs (blue arrow), black dots (red arrow), zigzag hairs, and bar code or morse code hairs
Example I found online: https://i.imgur.com/KFaRvWh.png
Examples of how some of my hairs look like this 1: https://i.imgur.com/8CmrmLZ.jpeg
Examples of how some of my hairs look like this 2: https://i.imgur.com/9thacMc.jpeg
Examples of how some of my hairs look like this close up: https://i.imgur.com/hvnBSoY.png
Fungal melanonychia: Black dots may be due to dermatophytoma. In example pic (yellow arrow), orange-yellow color due to colonies of fungi (purple arrow)
Example I found online: https://i.imgur.com/OQr3Xs9.png
How my scalp looks: https://i.imgur.com/acZPruh.png
I also have some red bumps that I notice that either look like follicilitis or ingrown hairs, as well as a peristant redness on the bottom of where my hairs is on the back of my neck, I have tried antibacterial cream (benzoyl peroxide 5%) for 2 days and it did not seem to have any effect at all (I only used it here, no where else on my scalp, just to test it).
Back of neck redness closeup: https://i.imgur.com/WripV4b.png
Red bumps near follicals 1: https://i.imgur.com/bUGAdLq.jpeg
Red bumps near follicals 2: https://i.imgur.com/GxxuISp.jpeg
Red bumps near follicles 3: https://i.imgur.com/AA67WBr.jpeg

• How old are you? What's your gender? Give us a general description of yourself.
-I am a 17 year old male from England and I’m currently studying philosophy, sociology and ancient history at college.
• Is there a medical diagnosis that may impact your mental stability somehow?
-I was diagnosed with autism at age 12.
• Describe your upbringing. Did it have any kind of religious or structured influence? How did you respond to it?
-I am an only child and lived in a secular family consisting of just me, my mum and my dad. Both of them were very laid back regarding discipline. One thing that could be said is that they gave me too much unconditional love, especially my mother. This, in turn, resulted in them not really teaching me important life skills and independence for fear of putting me in harms way. Thus, in the past 2 years I’ve had a bit of an awaking and have become hyper independent to remedy the lack of life skills and lessons taught during my early childhood.
• What do you do as a job or as a career (if you have one)? Do you like it? Why or why not?
-My ideal employment, realistically, would be a teacher. I really like the idea of taking on a task and being able to enforce original methods to attain the best possible results. That process is the general principle behind a lot of my interests and teaching is a job where it is present.
• If you had to spend an entire weekend by yourself, how would you feel? Would you feel lonely or refreshed?
-I Would feel refreshed. I get really tired when I’m around people. I think that may come from the fact that I tend to put on an act when I’m interacting with others in order to make them like me. This is a favourable result as the more people you are on good terms with, the more likely they are to be a potential asset to your life as opposed to a possible hinderance.
• What kinds of activities do you prefer? Do you like, and are you good at sports? Do you enjoy any other outdoor or indoor activities?
-I enjoy topics that are synthesised with progressing my main goal(s). For example, I enjoy learning about mbti because it is a component of my main goal to understand myself and thus can help me achieve happiness more effectively as I believe this is the main assignment of life.
• How curious are you? Do you have more ideas then you can execute? What are your curiosities about? What are your ideas about - is it environmental or conceptual, and can you please elaborate?
-I would consider my pursuits of curiosity to be loosely filtered through what may be useful to attaining a personal goal and I don’t often get carried away with ideas that have no overall importance to it. I say loosely because I can’t be certain what will be of importance to my pursuits, so for this reason I sometimes stray a from things that I know will be personally beneficial in the long term for things that could be useful, by virtue of the interconnectedness of everything.
• Would you enjoy taking on a leadership position? Do you think you would be good at it? What would your leadership style be?
-I would really like to take on a leadership position. I think I would be good at figuring out solutions and assigning them to people based on an overall objective. However I do not think I’d be very good at leadership in practice. This is because I’m not very quick at making decisions. Thus, my leadership style would be less about leadership and more being a personal adviser to members of a team to ensure they are all going in the same direction.
• Are you coordinated? Why do you feel as if you are or are not? Do you enjoy working with your hands in some form? Describe your activity?
-I don’t feel as though I’m very physically coordinated. I often have to focus on my environment and my movement at the expense of deeper thought. I’ve never really resonated with the popular notion that walks are therapeutic and thought provoking. For me, they are stressful and prohibit any other thoughts than the ones related to keeping my movement and environment in check.
• Are you artistic? If yes, describe your art? If you are not particular artistic but can appreciate art please likewise describe what forums of art you enjoy. Please explain your answer.
-I enjoy art that operates under the pretence that art is a language. I like art that communicates meaning. The reason why I like this type of art at all when it just seems like, if communication is the primary source of my investment, I should just focus on objective language rather than something as convoluted and prone to misinterpretation as art. To this I say, art elicits emotion and creates an immediate reason to care about the message. Thus, making the point carry to greater extent.
• What's your opinion about the past, present, and future? How do you deal with them?
-Most of my time is devoted to figuring out how to get to a desirable destination in the future. By the same token, the present is also very important to me as it is paramount to the aforementioned goal. The past is the timeframe I spend the least time thinking about when I’m happy. It’s not that I don’t consciously recognise it’s value in being a possible example for the future, it’s just not something I have a propensity to think about. I really only dwell on the past when I’m feeling down.
• How do you act when others request your help to do something (anything)? If you would decide to help them, why would you do so?
-My main reason for helping someone echoes an above mentioned sentiment. I would really only help someone to build good will with them, because it lowers the chances they will be a destructive force in your life. Moreover, they are indebted to you for a time which is always handy.
• Do you need logical consistency in your life?
-The primary system of logic I use is what has utility to achieving a goal. I’m not too bothered about logic for logics sake. I don’t live in the details of subjects and thus don’t care about the underlying logic, just what has the most personal utility.
• How important is efficiency and productivity to you?
-They are both really important to me. I like to see results. I always feel unfulfilled by the notion; I probably could achieve x and therefore there’s no point in doing y. I might switch to this mindset if I’m burned out as a coping mechanism for me not being able to express my desire to be productive. But that just emphasises it’s importance to me if I’m willing to change my beliefs to avoid the sadness brought about by unproductivity.
• Do you control others, even if indirectly? How and why do you do that?
-I control others implicitly by acting overly polite and sometimes resort to people pleasing to gain favour with them. This helps with the fact that I’m pretty dependent on what others think of me and their perceptions of me often supersede or coexist with my own beliefs and observations about myself, even if I can logically reason reason them to be erroneous judgements.
• What are your hobbies? Why do you like them?
-As mentioned in the desired career question, I enjoy hobbies that revolve around implementing original strategies to attain a desirable outcome. Because of this, I enjoy strategy games such total war and chess. once again, as mentioned previously another reason why I enjoy some hobbies is because they contribute to a larger goal. Such as my interest for mbti because, it allows me to understand myself, so I know how best to attain happiness and in turn, fulfil what I consider to be the primary objective of life in its most general form.
• What is your learning style? What kind of learning environments do you struggle with most? Why do you like/struggle with these learning styles? Do you prefer classes involving memorization, logic, creativity, or your physical senses?

• I get along fine with the typical learning environment of a classroom lecture. So long as the teacher is charismatic I can let my mind put on a stage performance of what’s being said and I tend to remember those quite well as my it forces me to filter everything through my own perceptions which results in personal meaning being attached to them and thus increases the likelihood I’ll remember the content of the lesson. However, I dislike when you are made to do an abundance of preselected and linear worksheets. I just like making notes with loads of arrows connecting everything. This helps me remember stuff because it displays how it’s all relevant to a bigger concept and doesn’t allow for stuff that isn’t connected to be written down so it filters out unimportant stuff.

• How good are you at strategizing? Do you easily break up projects into manageable tasks? Or do you have a tendency to wing projects and improvise as you go?
-I prefer to have a plan before action. I like to feel as though most things have been decided beforehand and I’m just reading off a to do list written by past me.
• What are your aspirations in life, professionally and personally?
-My professional aspirations are a means to an end. I want to get a job that I enjoy, is stable and provides an income, in the hope that I can stop thinking so much about it and can focus on the more personal aspects of life. Like figuring out how best to achieve happiness after I’ve stabilised my external life.
• What are your fears? What makes you uncomfortable? What do you hate? Why?
-I really fear upsetting people. Partly because I’m scared of how they will react. Especially in ways that could de-stabilise my life. Moreover, as I mentioned previously, I unfortunately have a propensity to need gratification from others and if I upset people I might begin to feel insecure in myself. A lot of what I do can be chalked up to an attempt to attain the admiration of others. I also fear not being able to make my plans and goals come into fruition.
• What do the "highs" in your life look like?
-The highs in my life often involve a dedication to a goal that gets me up every day. I’ll constantly be excited to get one step closer to achieving it. The goal when I’m happy revolves around a more thought out desire for the long term. Furthermore, this is accompanied by a disregard for the appearance of things. In these times I just focus on the character of things and perceive things through a lenses of principles and ideas. Moreover, the type of gratification I seek revolves around my capacity to think.
• What do the "lows" in your life look like?
-By contrast, my lows are aimless at best and destructive at worst. When Im considering the future in these moments I tend to forget about happiness and in turn have a bleak outlook on the future. This leads me to being generally quite unproductive. My gratification seeking becomes much more shallow aswell. It tends to revolve more around appearance and wanting others to view me as attractive. As a result of this I developed anorexia as a byproduct of trying to look more attractive in a period of stress. Moreover, it gave me something to control as I feel an excessive need to do this when I’m stressed.
• How attached are you to reality? Do you daydream often, or do you pay attention to what's around you? If you do daydream, are you aware of your surroundings while you do so?
-I do daydream, Though not as much as I used to. When I daydream it’s usually to test how something I wish to do might go if I were to do it.
• Imagine you are alone in a blank, empty room. There is nothing for you to do and no one to talk to. What do you think about?
-I would consider the main reason for my beliefs again and make updates to it that would eventually trickle down to actionable changes. If I didn’t manage to find any faults in my beliefs and principles of conduct I would keep my goal the same and think about things I could do to achieve it.
• How long do you take to make an important decision? And do you change your mind once you've made it?
-It usually takes me a little while to come to a decision, particularly if it has long term consequences, as I like to look at the external factors and see if they would suit me internally and/or if it would be beneficial to me in the future. Once I’ve come to a decision on a matter, ideologically I think it is best to stick to it because you can maximise the benefits that a particular path can provide. However, if the evidence changes and it contradicts the original reason for making the decision I will change my mind.
• How long do you take to process your emotions? How important are emotions in your life?
-It usually takes me a while to figure out my emotions. They often appear feint and undefined even though I know there’s something there. When I felt really down for months I couldn’t seem to validate my own emotions. To remedy this I tried to keep a journal collecting statistics including whether I cried, how many times? For how long? Have you self harmed in any way? this created a picture from which I could derive a conclusion. However, I have recently begun to value emotions much more than I did. Previously, I would’ve consciously neglected them. However, ever since I developed anorexia and had a really long period of time where I felt negative emotions I realise how powerful they are and how they must be utilised in your favour otherwise life wouldn’t be worth living.
• Do you ever catch yourself agreeing with others just to appease them and keep the conversation going? How often? Why?
-This is something I do quite often with people I’m not acquainted with, as I value the utility of a social connection more than convincing a few people of my beliefs. However, it happens less with people who I know well enough to comfortably make the assertion that an ideological disagreement wouldn’t jeopardise the relationship.
• Do you break rules often? Do you think authority should be challenged, or that they know better? If you do break rules, why?
-I avoid rule breaking that could lead to excessive repercussions. Since I purvey my conduct with the main intention of long term personal fulfilment some consequences that impede this mean that I generally obey rules. However if the consequences are avoidable and/or inconsequential I have no problem breaking those rules. Like cheating in exams for example.

I’m so sick of this and I’m starting to get angry.
I’m currently figuring out myself and what I like and don’t like. Currently, I believe that I’m a Bisexual man. However, I don’t make that information about myself public. Frankly because I don’t think it’s anyone’s business. That’s between me and future partners.
I’m recently on a work trip abroad and I was out with a female colleague of mine. I was telling her about my new car that I had just gotten and had been working on. I had showed her a picture and told her I was thinking of naming the car Poison Ivy (due to the same colors on the car).
She immediately gave me a look and said, “wait are you gay?”
A little bit taken a back I just said no and asked why she wanted to know. She went on to say that that’s something a gay guy would call his car. This was still confusing to me as I named the car after the character from Batman and Robin (not even a fan of the show or comics, I just realized that it had similar color compositions and thought it would be funny. In fact multiple other owners of my model of car have named it the same so it’s not even original).
I kinda laughed it off and just left it at that. But the problem is she wouldn’t stop asking me. The constant “are you sure you’re not?” And “I guess my gaydar has been off lately” felt like jabs at me to “confess” to her that I truly was gay (even though I’m not).
This isn’t meant to be a jab at anyone who is very open about their sexuality. For some, it’s a big part of their life and they want it to be known and I think that’s great.
From everything I’m learning about myself I’ve just come to realize that I’m not one of those people. I’m very private when it comes to my love life and I don’t feel comfortable with people making assumptions about me when they know what my orientation is.
I dont know if I’m being irrational with all of this or not, but I just need to rant about it a bit and I wouldn’t mind hearing some perspectives on things.

Usually every 2 weeks I make a post going over my initial reactions to the newest episodes of DCAS as they come out. This time however, I decided to do something a little different and talk about my thoughts on the first half of the season and not just the newest episode, which I'll also bring up here. DCAS has a lot of potential to be the best Disventure Camp season yet, but is that potential being utilized to the fullest? In this post I'll go over a few main things that stick out to me as a viewer in the few last episodes and I think are worthy of bringing up for a discussion as the season moves forward.

PART 1 - THE CAST

I don't have any issues with the cast chosen at all. There are a few characters I wouldn't call All Stars myself (Ashley and Connor mainly) but I can see why they made the cut over characters like Dan or Rosa Maria (+ Karol, robbed queens and king 👑). The production staff being combined from both seasons we've had so far is nice and I especially enjoy the addition of Emily. Let's talk about what this cast does in the actual season so far.

PART 2 - THE PLOTS

The great cast we have is given barely anything to work with. The merge is the perfect example of it as out of the 10 contestants who did make it to the merge without the comeback only half of them are involved in an ongoing storyline. I'll get into that in a bit but first let's talk about the premergers: - I'll cut James and Lake the slack as they're the first 2 boots coming into the season with no plot. Cutting them early set things up nicely and spared us from them floating through the game for no reason, - Miriam is also spared as despite being the third boot, she still served a purpose, didn't overstay her welcome and did exactly what she needed to do, which was expose the villains alliance, - My issues start with Hunter's elimination. He gets no closure. He comes back for another season with Ally who he has relationship issues with and doesn't get to resolve them. The show acknowledges this with Ally saying she wishes they could've talked things out in episode 6 and yet, this went nowhere right as it was beginning to be interesting. He opens up to Tess about it and so does Ally through confessionals and whatnot but once again, it went nowhere. Aside from that Hunter bullies Fiore, which while entertaining, isn't much. He was definitely cut earlier than he should've been, - Connor is a support character to Riya and just like majority of support characters this season, fails to actually help the character he's supposed to grow. Unlike Hunter, he gets closure. He cuts Riya off, is unceremoniously voted out by the villains alliance, gives a little speech and leaves. This closure feels rushed because this plot lasts 6 episodes and spends 2 (episodes 4 & 5), which are 1/3 of its time, on pause, then ends in the next episode out of nowhere. What was even the point of bringing back Connor if the one plot he gets isn't even going to get a satisfying conclusion? I mean, him cutting off Riya is satisfying don't get me wrong, but the way it went down is rather disappointing. Why do you think he's a top contender for the comeback amongst the community? - Fiore also didn't do much. She wasn't going to make it far, we all knew it, and yet, she feels wasted despite those low hopes. The one thing she had going for her this season was to reconcile with Alec. That's what people wanted to see and the show built it up and hinted towards that being the case from E2-E6 but they never do. I know they're on different teams but we saw them sneaking off to talk to each other, why did they not reconcile then? Why did Alec not even care when she got voted off despite helping her stay in the game all this time? The problem with Fiore this season isn't that she went too early, its that they built up her story for 5 episodes only to forget about it, eliminate her unceremoniously and forget she even existed. She had one job and she didn't even do that. At least she was funny, I guess. (I just saw that one Fiore greeting lol, guess the Alec reconciliation ain't happening 😭), - Ellie... What a waste. I don't even like her all that much but MY GOD did they do her dirty. The first half of the season built up the Gabbellie angst only for it to go nowhere. Ellie's story was cut short right when it was beginning to be interesting. When we finally get to see more of Gabbellie and have a possibility of an Ellie redemption arc or her going full villain or whatever, she's out the same episode, that mind you, she's not even the main focus of. She had arguably the most potential going into the season and I knew she'd be a premerge boot, but damn, it still sucks to see her be so full of potential just waiting for her 5 minutes to shine and never get it, - The last premerger, Tess, comes into the season with the intention of being a support character for Hunter & Ally who are on the other team. Instead she screws Ellie over in a failed attempt at being a support character for the Gabbellie duo. Her voting off Ellie makes sense for her character but ultimately not only cut Ellie's plot early but also justified Ellie's distrust in people. She's always sticking her nose in everyone's business in an attempt to help them out without knowing the full picture and ending up making things worse in the long run. I'm so glad Gabby called her out on it in episode 9 and didn't take every word spewed her way as gospel like everyone else. She was boring all season long and once again, like other premergers, she's eliminated in the same episode she starts to get interesting. I'm not sad that Tess is gone but she still could've done more interesting stuff with her screen time.
Now onto the production staff and merge cast: - Nina, Marcus and Oliver basically don't exist, - Trevor, Derek and Krystal also don't get much focus aside from the sidelined love triangle, - Emily got fired by both Yul and Krystal. I'm really interested in seeing how her plot goes and I hope she doesn't get sidelined or straight up forgotten, - Alec hasn't done anything since episode 4 and his story with Fiore was cut short for no reason when it could've been so easily resolved with a simple conversation, - Riya hasn't done anything at all other than be funny and give us glimpses of a redemption arc, which once again, is getting cut short for no reason, - Grett is getting fat shamed each episode by Yul and does nothing or talk with anyone outside of it, - Yul bullies Grett and is comedic relief which actually works. He's the best character this season so far as he does his job well without hinting at more then not delivering, - Gabby became relevant at all only 2 episodes ago so I won't be too harsh on her as she finally has something going on, - I can't stand Aiden. Episodes 7 & 10 were nearly as low of a point for him as S2E9. He actively takes away screen time with a plot he's completely unnecessary to at this point and is extremely annoying while he's at it. Is he supposed to be Tom's support character or something? If so, then he's not doing a good job and is ruining his own character by being associated with Tom. I don't know wtf they're doing with the entire love triangle trio and it includes the hypocritical skunk over here as well, - Tom outside of his exhausting plot with Jake has nothing. He does nothing this season to distract you from how awful he is at handling basically anything and it's so tiring to watch, - Jake is the main character and he's surely something. Is he carrying the season in the entertainment department? Yes, and am I happy to see him have more focus? Yes, but it's WAY too much. He has his bs with Tom (Im praying they dont get back together) and rivalry with Ally so he at least has plot so I can't complain too much about him. I do have to say tho, even as the biggest Jake stan and defender out there, I'm getting exhausted. Give him a breather episode or 2 and focus on someone else. The direction they're taking his character is extremely confusing as well but that's conversation for another day, - Ally was sidelined so hard after episode 6 it makes me sad. She was my favorite in the first 6 episodes and has so much potential that's not being utilized at all, - Ashley did nothing but pretend to give Jake good advice without ever actually helping him. Don't even get me started on her "revenge" on Fiore. That was so unsatisfying and she celebrated like she just defeated the devil with her bare hands as if Fiore wasn't in the worst position on the team since the beginning. She did basically nothing with twice as many episodes here than the 5 she got in season 1.
Let me do some math here. There's 25 characters and out of those: - 5 have no plots at all/dont exist (James, Lake, Oliver, Marcus, Nina) - 5 are support characters with nothing going on for themselves (Ashley, Tess, Connor, Aiden, Krystal) - 1 was a plot device (Miriam) - 7 have their plots either put on pause or cut short with no satisfying resolution (Alec, Fiore, Riya, Hunter, Ally, Ellie, Derek)
That leaves us with Emily, Trevor, Gabby, Grett, Yul, Jake & Tom being involved in plots that are actually making any progress, and said progress is slow as all hell. Do we need to see Grett be bullied for 7 episodes straight and just take it without standing up for herself? Surely this could've been wrapped up without dragging it out or at the very least bring something new to the table. It's the same thing over and over each episode.

PART 3 - THE EPISODES ARE REPETITIVE

Now that I mentioned it, I might as well expand. I noticed the episodes follow a certain formula: - Around 7 minutes of pre-challange character interactions we've seen multiple times already with rarely adding anything new to them, - A bit of trauma dumping from a few characters, - Production staff scene lasting around 2 minutes, - A boring and very quick challenge portion not even focused on the challenge, - Pre elimination scene where the big thing of the episode happens, - Elimination ceremony.
I know that's the show's format but switch it up a little! Have some fun with it! Give me a twist! A team swap, auto elimination, Jensen coming back from the dead, different locations, a gimmick shaking up the challenge, immunity idols, ANYTHING to keep it fresh and exciting. Watching 9 episodes going this exact same way gets repetitive.
The actual challenges themselves are something I want to see be more creative in general. The singing episode was a ton of fun, the triathlon was cool and even the first 2 challenges were fun because we got to see new stuff like animals and an underwater episode. But the recent challenges have been lackluster. We got pushing big beautiful balls down a hill, walking around a fake spaceship, slip and slide basketball and plain paintball. In episode 10 they just walk around and argue. The challenge is completely sidelined and for what?? There isn't even a spin to this one, it's literally just paintball. At least in S1 it was combined with capture the flag and there were more people to make it more chaotic but here? What a bore.

PART 4 - THE PACING

Adding to the bore is the pacing of the few plots that we do get to see actually move at all. Tom & Jake could've easily been wrapping up their bs by now, Grett & Yul also could've wrapped it up premerge and... That's basically it because those are the 2 plots consistently and actively getting any room to be explored leaving little screen time for the others.
Why were the Riya and Connor, Huntally or Gabbellie plots rushed but Jam and YulREGrett are allowed to go on for forever without making any progress? Literally only Jake is undergoing any sort of development out of the 4 and his narrative is all over the place making it hard to even get invested in his story if you're not already a die hard fan. It seems like the show itself doesn't know whether he should be seen as the one in the right or not in the entire love triangle and keeps flip-floping between wanting the audience to like & despise him. Same with Tom but I asked this question on another (flop) post. Gretts development is also taking forever and we all know Yul ain't changing.

PART 5 - OUTRO

I'm sorry if this came out way more negative than I intended it to be but I wanted to get my feelings about this out as it does make me a little worried for the rest of the season. It's not even that it's bad, far from it, I think it has potential to be the best DC season yet, but with the last 3 episodes (excluding episode 9) the season is losing its momentum. I'm hoping the quality picks up again and the second half ends up being amazing. Please don't crucify me for this lol. My opinion isn't important and I'm still enjoying the season quite a bit but certainly see ways it could feel more complete. Can't wait to watch the rest of it!
This is a repost because I made some embarrassing mistakes I needed to fix lmao.

I'm just not understanding why Liz, Brice and baby HAD to move in with Amber and Trent ??
They were putting together a nursery yesterday (okay, lame, but I get it)
When our kids were babies and we visited my parents, we brought a playpen and a diaper bag with clothes and toys. (We lived 2.5 hours away from them at the time). NO nursery, no grandkids' bedroom/playroom, nothing.
I guess what I'm wondering is since Liz works full-time, and Brice (I'm assuming works full time?) they both have decent enough paying jobs --why they need to give up the house?
Granted, now she's on mat. leave or would have been on mat. leave but they're working and caring for a new infant... they're not sending 15 kids to college at the same time.
This doesn't make logical sense. I understand the control issue but what's the rationale ??

It's been 2 days, so I think it's time for part 2- it's gonna be short. Don't wanna ruin my sleep schedule It's messed up already as it is, but we won't mention that.
I wanna take a moment to thank all of you reading this, I was honestly surprised at how well this was received. So thank you!
Lastly, all love to for having made such an amazing universe.
===---===
Memory Transcription Subject: Alan Voor-hein, UN Secretary-General.
Date [Standardized Human Time]: January 1st, 2300, 12:00
It's 12:00, and the meeting is about to begin. I had only arrived like 30 minutes ago, and took the remainder of my time to grab a quick bite (as I was unable too back home in my rush) and to freshen myself up a little. I only had gotten into my seat just a mere 10 minutes ago- and over the course of those 10 minutes, I was joined by various Diplomatic and Military advisors.
I was seated across the room from the door, having a chair at the far-middle-end of the circular table. Above me, as usual, was the symbol of the UN. The Symbol of the peacekeepers, the symbol of hope and peace. Underneath it, there was a smaller symbol, that smaller symbol replaced Earth with a Star symbol. This was done in order to placate the Colonies we have sprinkled around the Solar System. After all, the UN was now no longer just an Earth bound organization- hasn't been for a while now. So it felt fitting to slowly move over towards a newer and more relevant Symbol. On Earth we still use the Earth having logo, while on our colonies we use the Star having one.
To my right was the seat for General (John) Remau, an elderly French descending man at 60 years old. Short prickly grey hair, and a mustache to accompany him. Blue eyes. His experience is mostly based on Counter-Terror actions. But by the Gods, he is good at his job. He is the "tough yet caring" father type of guy, even the men he used to command gave him he nickname of "Father John".
To my left is the seat of Minister (Ayumi) Kamura, a younger Japanese lass, 27 years old. One of the youngest people in the room, and yet one of the most capable in her duties as Minister of Diplomatic Affairs. Long flowing black hair. Brown eyes. She started as an Intern roughly a year and a half ago, under me. Shy at first, but she quickly managed to move up thanks to her charm and intellect, and I offered her the job of MDA. And she has been killing it ever since.
These 2 are my most trusted advisors in their own field of expertise. There are many more seated in the room now, but these 2 are the ones I am on a first-name basis with.
And now.... time for the meeting.
...
There was a slight chaos among the entourage of advisors. None of them had any idea why this meeting was called, only my two trusted seconds had gotten messages with the most relevant details about all of the happenings surrounding the discovery. Gotta love the quick work of AI. Once everyone had sat down on their allocated seats, I stood up, all eyes glued to me, and began speaking.
"All of you may be wondering why I called you all here today. Earlier today, in the early morning hours, the drone we had ordered to be sent into the void...-" I took a second to think on how to actually bring this news to the others, but I knew there was no dancing around the issue. "- The drone has encountered Alien life."
The second those words left my mouth, the room erupted into whispering murmurs, some thinking it was a lie, other's in a show of disbelieve.
I began speaking again, not giving them anytime to start asking questions. "The drone arrived onto this new star system at 10:15, and it initiated it's automated surveying. It already detected something "grey-ish" above a tidally locked planet. At 10:35, the drone went into it's Warning signal mode, the drone went into Cloak and began sending details about it's discovery. The drone had laid it's eyes on an orbiting space-station."
While I was speaking, John, our General, was having his own conversation over the phone with- who I assume, is one of his goons. John said something along the lines of, "Alright. I'll tell 'em.", before taking a look at me and interrupting me in my speech. "Sir, with all due respect, I have just received a call from one of my guys, who I had put on it after I had gotten the AI's message. And uh.. I think this is interesting for all to see."
"Very well. -" I said, pressing the button in the table in front of me, lowering a screen from the ceiling of the room. The screen covered the southern wall of the room, opposite of me. "- Have the room, General."
"Thank you Sir." John walked up to the screen, scanning his badge on the nearby security system which was connected to the screen, it auto-logged John in. John proceeded into his classified filed stash, and pulled up a newly made folder labeled "Unknowns".
The first thing John showed on the screen was a picture taken by the drone, the picture that showed the drone spotting the weird "grey" blob above the planet, followed by a picture closer to the blob, clearly showing it to be a space-station of some kind. "This here, gentlemen and women-" John began with, "-is what this meeting is about. Here is the undeniable proof for all you naysayers in the crowd."
The ones who had more doubtful looks on their faces before, looked on now with curiosity.
"And the newest details I have gotten-" John went on, "-can be seen right here." John pulled up a video the drone recorded. The video showed the drone moving at insane speeds towards the orbit of this planet, which was shown to be quite earth-like, moving past the Station quickly. The drone was starting to slow itself down rapidly as it reached into the atmosphere of the planet. The drone hovered for a moment before resuming it's move.
Our lovely drone stayed as high as it possibly could, while not breaking sight of the ground in a clear camera view. It rapidly moved towards what looked to be a small rural town of sorts. The drone halted it's flight dead in the center of the sky, high in the air above the town, turning it's camera downwards and zooming in even further for more of a clear view of the town.
As it slowly zoomed in, smaller dots appeared on the screen. You wouldn't have to be a rocket scientist to tell that those would, most likely, be the natives of this planet, moving about in their daily life- however they may live it. It still wasn't clear how these Aliens looked like. The drone elevated itself lower, and kept zooming in more.
Once the drone's camera had fully zoomed in, we could finally make out what these Aliens looked liked...
...
...
Question began flowing through my mind. Fur- Knock-kneed hind-legs too? Are these not the natives, are these just their version of ...a Sheep?? If so, where are the actual natives... why would they let their cattle run around freely?
... There has to be natives on the planet.
The drone went on and on, going from town to town, and in all towns it was the same sight. These "sheep" walking around, and doing their own things. To say I was dumbfounded would be an understatement. Guess these ARE the natives of the planet then.
John spoke up again after closing the video- "As you can see, Gents. We've come across an Alien civilization. That's why we're here. - Sir, the floor is yours again." John nodded at me and sat back down at his seat.
...
Straight to the point like always, aren't we John?- "Right- .. Now, as General Remau has stated, we have encountered an Alien space going civilization. It's up to us to come up with a strategy on how to deal with this, and how we'll proceed from here."
The flock of advisors all looked at each-other, either not knowing what to say, or refusing to say anything on it - like always.
I spoke up again. "I propose a few options on how to proceed, we'll discuss all of them, and decide on the eventual future proceeding on this issue. We have a few options to choose from.

1. We'll spy on the native of this planet, try to find enough intelligence as we are able too, while also ramping up our military production tenfold, as we do not know if these aliens are friend or foe.
2. Isolate ourselves, and stay clear of them. Letting them live their lives, and hope they let us live ours.
3. Opening up communications right away, and see if we can befriend them.

The floor is now open to voting, click the link on your pads which you receive-" the sound of multiple pads receiving a notification can be heard-, "- now, and vote which option YOU think we'll have to go with. Understood?"
Everyone nodded, and the voting commenced as it always would. Unlike most situations, now the voting seemed to take longer, as everyone was truly thinking of all possible scenarios. One's we are all familiar with.
...
After 5 minutes the voting concluded, and the result were shown on the screen. 78% voted for option 1. Spying and intelligence gathering it is.
"Thank you all for voting. I, Kamura and Remau shall continue speaking on the best course of action regarding option 1. You're all dismissed. Keep in mind, this will be kept secret until we say so, understood?" Everyone in the room nodded once again- and began gathering their stuff to leave.
John and Ayumi walked over to me, and the 3 of us waited for the room to clear out of all occupants- apart from us. Once everyone left the room, the door locked itself shut. Allowing the three of us to speak undisturbed.
...
"Well, that's over-" John grumbled.
"You can say that again- I hate meetings as much as you do." I retorted back at him, giving a slight chuckle.
Ayumi perked up, "Come on guys, it wasn't that bad-"
"For you, yeah. You love 'em." I told her as I looked right at her. "They're like a party for you"
"That's not entirely true! .... for the most part-" She clapped back.
I gave her a smile. "Sure... back to the topic at hand- the best way to gather as much info on these sheep-ish people as possible. I propose sending more drones to the planet."
John let his own mind run with an idea, "What if we send one of our own guys to the planet with Cloaking armor, so he or she can do some ground work. See how they live, how they act, all that stuff."
"Wouldn't that cause political backlash?-" Ayumi spoke out in protest "-I mean.. sure, they will be cloaked, but what if they are discovered? We know nothing about their technology. For all we know, they surpass us in all fronts. Why not sent a "diplomatic" mission or somethi-"
"That's not going to work, Ayumi" I said, interrupting her. "-We can't let them know of our presence... yet..."
...
Minutes went by as we continued speaking on this- the three of us eventually decided on just sending a couple drone to the planet, and letting them do the work. Some drones would also be carrying probe droids. Tiny ones which can be hidden among furniture even, and the smallest cracks.
We are also going to increase our military spending and development. An order of 8K more ships will be placed later today- ... I honestly can't wait to get home soon. Just an hour more of chatting with these 2 nut cases- and I'm free. ... love 'em though.
...
===---===
Sorry for it being short, as said, gotta think of me sleep bois!
Prev Next

All weekend

Strawberry Festival Fri 1-10pm, Sat/Sun 10-10, and Sun 10-9pm. Parade is 10am Sat.Rides cost $3-8 each and Fri all day ride wristband is $35, and Sun-Mon wristband $40, and $15 fast Pass. Monday is A Redhead contest. free festival parking at churches nearby. No pets. Village Green Park, Euclid& Main St, downtown Garden Grove. https://strawberryfestival.org/current-event-schedule/
Scottish Fest at OC Fairgrounds $30 adults, $6 kids, $12 parking. 2-day admission $45 adult, $8 kids. 10am-6pm, Sat, and 10-5:30 on Sun. Frau likes watching The Caber Toss (yes, people in kilts toss a full tree trunk, end-over-end) and Sheep toss at the Highland Games Competition, the Highland Dancers Kids' Competition, and the Chain mail sword- fighting. Try Haggis, Scotch Eggs, and Whiskey Tastings (the whiskey classes sell out, get your tix online for those ahead of time). Sheep herding demos with those dogs that round them up. Eric Rigler (famous bagpipecomposer for Braveheart, Titanic, all the movies) performs at noon and 3pm Sat. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eric_Rigler The Scots aren't known for singing so the Celtic bands have Irish Singers, thankfully. Lots of bagpiping. Wear a kilt or blue& white colors and bring your drinking horn. 88 Fair Center Dr, Costa Mesa. Military and EMS get free entry. https://www.scottishfest.com/?fbclid=IwAR0BJMRlE5E3rN9AsTu9vxkRBTxQNeFLBRM1CxqJby2k8wu6gYaS9sggNu4
Fences Play $14+, various dates and times thru June 9th. Costa Mesa Playhouse. https://www.todaytix.com/los-angeles/shows/41017-fences
Pick your Own Sunflowers Tanaka Farms. https://www.tanakafarms.com/hana-field
Live Music on the Green at Bella Terra Mall free, Fri 6-9pm Kaitlyn Weathers- pop country music, Sat 6-9pm Tanner Howe- pop music, Sun 12-3pm Adelaide-bossanova and pop. Bring a blanket, chair, or sit in the grass. Lawn area in front of Century Theaters. Park in structure next to Costco. https://www.bellaterra-hb.com/events
Free Concerts at Irvine Spectrum Fri, Sat, Sun 5:30pm-8:30pm, near H&M. https://www.irvinespectrumcenter.com/events-promotions/weekend-entertainment-irvine
Newport Beach Wine Festival $215/adult. https://www.balboabayresort.com/nbwinefestival/
Best Places to see Wildflowers https://enjoyorangecounty.com/best-places-see-wildflowers/
Anaheim Garden Walk free, pet-friendly, Fri 5-10pm, Sat & Sun 2-10pm. Vendors, kids crafts, selfie photo booth. https://anaheimgardenwalk.com/event/Spring-into-Summe2145582435/
Live Music on the Green free,Fri& Sat 6-9pm, Sun 12-3pm. Bella Terra Mall on The Green (new lawn area in front of Century Theaters) Parking: Park in the structure next to Costco. Huntington Beach. https://www.bellaterra-hb.com/events
Live Music on Forest free, Fri-Sundays, various times, downtown Laguna Beach in the Forest pedestrian area. https://www.lagunabeachcity.net/government/departments/cultural-arts/performances/promenade-on-forest-stage#ad-image-0

Thursday May 23

Taste of Brea $50 wristband, Thurs 5-9pm, downtown Brea. the largest, regional food fair in OC. 100 food &beverage vendors. Entry includes all-you-can-enjoy, delicious tastes from local and regional restaurants, breweries and wineries. Live music, featuring the band Cold Duck. Free parking. https://www.eventbrite.com/e/taste-of-brea-tickets-778593051777
Free Concert in the Park- Los Alamitos Thursdays, free, 6:30-8pm. Taylor Swift Cover band this week. Bring your blankets or chairs or picnic food. Food also available for purchase. Beer garden? 10902 Pine St. On Pine & Florista St. https://cityoflosalamitos.org/CivicAlerts.aspx?AID=162
Quarteto Nuevo Thurs, $35. 7:30pm. Jazz fiusion concert. Muckenthaler Cultural Center, 1201 W Malvern, Fullerton. https://themuck.org/program/2024-05-23
Group Mountain Biking Aliso/Wood Canyons Parkfree, Thurs, 5:30pm, RSVP & details here: Checkout this Meetup with Orange County Mountain Biking: https://meetu.ps/e/N9Ljd/1MDkT/i

Friday May 24

Black Star Canyon OC Parks Group Hikefree, 8-10:30am. Wear hiking clothes, shoes, hat and bring hiking poles if you have them. Must RSVP online. https://ocparks.com/events/morning-hike-gypsum-canyon-wilderness-1
free Movie in the Park: Moana Fri, 6:30pm is food trucks, art-making, etc. movie starts at 8pm, run time 1h47min. you may bring folding chairs and food. Segerstrom Argyros Plaza, must RSVP by signing up for Plaza Pass online. https://www.scfta.org/events/2024/aapi-heritage-month-movie-night-moana
Pacific Symphony on the Go Free, Fri, 6:30-7:30pm. Bring a blanket from 5:30pm. Napoli Park, 27682 Napoli Way,Mission Viejo. https://cityofmissionviejo.org/events/symphony-go-2
Pop Vision Live Top 40 Music Free, Fri, 5:30-7:30pm, at Garden+Grille, food for purchase, Mission Viejo.
Sunset Serenades Free, Fri, 6:30-8pm. A Rock Band is Tonight. Free Concerts every Friday in May at Heisler Park Amphitheater, up the stairs from Main beach in Laguna Beach by Whale Sculpture. Restrooms nearby. Jazz, pop, and Rock bands. Bring your own alcohol beverage is allowed only if you have food also. Picnicking is popular. https://www.lagunabeachcity.net/government/departments/cultural-arts/performances/sunset-serenades#ad-image-1

Saturday May 25

Polynesian Festival and Luau Show Free festival, Luau/show $30 adult, $15 kids. Sat, 10am-10pmvendors, music, entertainment, woody cars, food, shave ice. San Clemente Community Center. Not sure exact time Luau starts. https://hawaiiansurfclub.org/festival.html
Kids Fishing Tournament 6am-2pm. Sat, Santa Ana River Lakes at 4060 E La Palma Ave, Anaheim. https://facebook.com/events/s/kids-fishing-tournament/789758792785079/
Free Silent Disco free, Sat, 6-9pm. Giant Wheel Lawn outside at Irvine Spectrum Mall. https://www.irvinespectrumcenter.com/events-promotions/spectrum-silent-disco
80's Theme Dana Point Trolley HopSat, noon-5pm. $10 wristband gets you drink/food specials at participating restaurants along trolley route. Pick up wristband at Dana Point Ale House11:30-2pm. First 500 people get a free Fanny Pack. https://danapointchamber.com/trolley/ Live trolley tracker: dptrolley.com
Free Car ShowSat 10am, Raffle, Face-painting, pet-friendly. Willowick Golf Course: 3017 W Fifth St Santa Ana. https://www.eventbrite.com/e/orange-county-extravaganza-vendors-car-show-tons-of-fun-tickets-898195094707?aff=oddtdtcreator
Fritz Coleman Comedy Show $20, Sat, 8pm. Camino Real Playhouse, 31776 El Camino Real,San Juan Capistrano. https://www.tix.com/ticket-sales/caminorealplayhouse/1870/event/1311103
2 mile Ranger-led Bird walk in Laguna Canyon $3 parking, must RSVP online. 18751 Laguna Canyon Rd, Laguna Beach. https://ocparks.com/events/bird-walk-2
Resin Craft Group free for adults and Kids, Sat 2-3:30pm, Make fun things with UV Resin. Must RSVP by email LibraryPrograms@cityofmissionviejo.org Mission Viejo library- Friends Storytime Room. 100 Civic Center Dr, Mission Viejo. https://cityofmissionviejo.org/events/resin-craft-club-0
Guided Sketch in the Park Sat, 9am-1pm. Free entry & Parking, Bring your own materials (list given with online rsvp). please RSVP. Irvine Ranch Historic Park, 13042 Old Myford Rd. Irvine. https://ocparks.com/events/create-park
Good Life Fair free, Sat, noon-5pm Health& Wellness fair, food, raffles, Kids Fun Zone, etc. McFadden Park, 900 S Melrose, Placentia.
Long Beach BBQ Festival$25, Sat, Noon-9pm. Shoreline Aquatic Park. https://www.eventbrite.com/e/2nd-annual-long-beach-bbq-festival-tickets-788794404297?aff=oddtdtcreator&fbclid=IwAR1-XwNSq6lihg-9CFyeuiL7aBRJDTxDU9qJMo2whFILzj_fev5O5MwNAAY

Sunday May 26

Annual Free Concert on the Water 1-5pm, Baby Beach and Ocean Institute area. Sponsored by DP Yacht Club. Join in on the water with your SUP, kayak, etc. Can use free DP trolley (https://www.danapoint.org/department/public-works-engineering/summer-trolley-service)
Weiner Dog Races Sun, $5-$10; Races at 11am and 1pm, gates open at 10am. Old World German Biergarten, 7561 Center St, Huntington Beach. Explore the German bakeries, etc. https://www.oldworldhb.com/dog-races/
6 mile Aliso/Wood Canyons Group Hikefree, Sun, 7:30-10:15am. Canyon View Staging Area, 22124 Utility Access Rd, Aliso Viejo. RSVP and more details here Checkout this Meetup with Trail Mix: https://meetu.ps/e/N9BP9/1MDkT/i Free Sundays Concert 2pm, Nixon Library. free parking. Ethan Chen, Pianist.

Monday May 27 Memorial Day Events

Wreath Laying & Patriotic Band 10:15 am wreath and speaker, 11am band. Nixon Library, 18001 Yorba Linda Blvd, Yorba Linda. https://richardnixonfoundation.ticketspice.com/memorial-day-at-the-nixon-library
MV Memorial Day Ceremony 8:30am, Kershaw Garden at City Hall. Mission Viejo. https://cityofmissionviejo.org/events/memorial-day-ceremony-2024
Mission SJC Field of Honor Mon, $5, 10am-4pm. more than 400 (3′ x 5′) American flags, each standing seven-feet tall in solemn formation, waving proudly. https://www.missionsjc.com/field-of-hono
Memorial Day 1/2 Marathon, 10k/5k Laguna Hills.

Plan Ahead-

Cirque du Soleil: Koozå $40+, June 8-July 21. Laguna Hills Mall Big Top Tent. https://www.todaytix.com/los-angeles/shows/39008-cirque-du-soleil-kooza
Annual Bluegrass & BBQ eventSun, June 9, from 4-7pm. $25 entry, $52 with BBQ, LCAD in Laguna Beach. https://www.lagunabeachlive.org/blank-20-2-1
Free Silent Disco Nights Giant Wheel Lawn at Irvine Spectrum. May 25, June 29, July 27, Aug 31, Sept 28, Oct 26, Nov 30. https://www.irvinespectrumcenter.com/events-promotions/spectrum-silent-disco
Jazz Wednesdays in Laguna Beach https://www.lagunabeachlive.org/jazz2024
$29 Aladdin Musical May at Segerstrom in Costa Mesa. https://www.goldstar.com/orange-county/shows/38481-disneys-aladdin
OC Free Thursday Concerts in the Parks June 20 to Aug. 22 from 5 to 8 p.m. Enjoy 9 free outdoor Summer concerts Thursday evenings at various parks. https://www.ocparks.com/news/oc-parks-presents-2024-summer-concert-series-and-sunset-cinema-film-series
OC Summer Concerts Mega List https://www.sandytoesandpopsicles.com/orange-county-concerts-park/
OC Summer Movies in the Park List https://www.sandytoesandpopsicles.com/summer-movie-programs-in-orange-county/

You ever look into a window and wonder what’s on the other side? I mean, a room, obviously, but what’s in it? Who lives there? How do they live? For as long as I can remember, that was my fascination. It started innocently, if creepy; I used to peek into people’s windows when I was a little kid, back when I had to get on my tiptoes to peer in through a kitchen window. I’d see the light reflecting off tile and appliances, and sometimes people would be moving about, living their lives. In a sense, it’s sort of like an ant farm; the windows people use to see out provide a small vertical slice of their inside life. I never got caught or scolded when I did this, even though I instinctively knew it was wrong. It was the same reason my parents chided me for peeking in the door when they’d use the restrooms; people liked their privacy.
But you know what happens when a bad habit is allowed to fester, don’t you? It escalates. When I was twelve years old, I broke into a house for the first time. Not for criminal reasons, mind you, I simply wanted to get a more… tactile appreciation for someone’s life. It was a house that had overgrown grass and sometimes had a beat-up old Buick out front that needed a wash. I’d never met whoever lived there, but I knew they did.
There’s a fatal flaw with burglar alarms: the infrequent nature of burglary. Potentially 365 days of a year, the homeowner is paying for a service that ideally won’t be used. But the device, it never sleeps unless you let it. Eventually, turning it on in the morning when you leave for work or off when you come home becomes such a hassle that in some neighborhoods, people just use the sticker as their ward against burglars. This person was one of those people. And he was also one of the people who failed to lock their windows.
It didn’t smell great in that place. I let myself in through the kitchen window and I just stood there, taking it all in. It was cluttered, lived-in, but not hoarder-level crazy. There was a fat stack of shitty self-help books on the dining room table, and more than a few pizza boxes crammed into an overflowing trash bin. The floor was once, presumably, a nice carpet, but decades of neglect had rendered it crusty and brown. In retrospect I recognize the smell as marijuana, but at the time I thought it was a skunk. I could almost see the guy who lived there wandering around, mired in the detritus of an unkempt house. I could imagine him pouring over those dog-eared self-help books, eating pizza for the fifth time this week, wondering how his life went so wrong.
There wasn’t much to do. Like I said, my intentions were curiosity, not theft. So I went back out the way I came. That night, when the shitty old Buick rolled up onto the driveway, I watched the guy. He was shorter than I’d imagined, and he had thick glasses and thinning hair. He wasn’t super fat, but he wasn’t skinny; all in all, a fairly normal individual. Yet from that moment I spent in his home, I knew so very much about him. I think that’s where the problem started, really.
I got really, really good at it. Sneaking into people’s homes. Walking through undetected. Again, I never took anything, just explored the place and drew connections about their life. Creepy, yes, and very illegal, but I rationalized it at the time as being functionally identical to being invited in. It’s not creepy when a guest looks around, and since I wasn’t doing anything untoward, I was basically a guest, right? I even got so good I could do it when they were home. A lot of close calls, but those were the most exciting. Again, at this point I had yet to steal anything. I was chasing the high of just sneaking around, going where I wasn’t supposed to.
When I got into high school, however, I started wanting things. I wasn’t poor, but there was always something I wanted that was just out of reach. Well, I made the logical leap that my hobby and my desire could aid each other.
I prepped by “mock-robbing” my own house. When my parents were out, I combed through their things, looking for stashes of goodies. Naturally I wouldn’t steal from THEM, mind you; I hadn’t done that since I took a five-dollar bill out of my mother’s purse when I was six. Sure enough, I found the classic sock-drawer with the stash in it. Wasn’t much, just a couple documents. A xerox of my birth certificate, a copy of my grandparents’ will, some insurance papers, and a single hundred dollar bill, all rolled into an old black tube sock at the back of my father’s sock drawer. My mom’s nightstand held a bunch of her old expired credit cards, receipts for purchases deductible as work expenses, and her old earrings she’d worn before her earlobes had healed over. The kitchen junk drawer tended to be where lost coins were deposited, and by quarters alone I reckoned around 50 dollars had accumulated over the years. Finally, under my parents’ bed, I found the real stash: bonds given to them by my grandparents, the deed to the house itself, and my grandfather’s old ring. Worthless to me, obviously, but it proved that humans and dragons both choose to sleep atop their riches.
I chose my mark well; a large house, and one I’d already familiarized myself with on the inside. Once the geriatric woman had left to go do whatever octogenarians do on Thursday afternoons, I stole into the building and rifled through her things. It was a completely different experience to go in with the intent of robbery. I felt heightened. Paranoid. Instinctively I shied away from windows and lights like a scuttling rat, and any time the house shifted or settled, I dove for cover, cramming myself into cabinets or closets. The place was big, but sure enough, I found the old cigar box under the bed. It didn’t have money or jewels, but rather pictures. Grainy, faded, black-and-white pictures of a man in a naval officer’s dress, and a girl in a skirt with frizzy brown hair. I realized with a start that it was her, and who I could only assume was a late lover. There were family pictures on the walls, but none of them featured her with a man at her side. An elderly spinster, clinging to a love who no doubt was long gone. When I discovered that, I shook my head. No way I was going to rob her, even if I’d found gold bullion in the box. So I tidied up the place, making sure to wipe away the places where fingerprints could have been even though I was wearing latex gloves, and put her secret box back where it belonged.
For a few weeks, I didn’t do any B&E. Truth be told, I was disgusted at myself. Every house I’d snooped through, every life I’d reverse-engineered in my head… to think that I’d rob them, make those pristine little lives worse for my own benefit… I couldn’t stomach it.
Looking back, I wish I’d just abandoned that moral hang-up. Because it was that morality that led me to the Mortheimer house.
In the state of California, where I live, burglary is a felony. I think it’s that way in most places. Now I didn’t consider myself a burglar, because in order for it to be such, I had to be entering with the intent to do a crime. As of yet, save for the old woman’s house, I had never entered for any reason save to observe, so in my mind I was not a burglar.
I heard about the Mortheimer house from a friend. He said it had been owned by the bank for some time, after the owner had lost everything to a gambling addiction and shot himself in the building. It wasn’t called the Mortheimer house at the time, though; that wouldn’t be until Jason Mortheimer moved in and bought the old, buttress-ridden house for next to nothing. For weeks, my friend said, they had done construction; as to what they were doing, he couldn’t tell. Aside from cleaning, repainting, reshingling, and repairing the windows, the old house looked practically unchanged from the outside. Yet power tools could be heard from dawn until dusk within the old place, and construction teams came and went with clockwork regularity. Jason Mortheimer was an oddball in the neighborhood; he was never seen during the day, save peering out from his windows to watch people on afternoon strolls. By night, he’d wander and be cordial to passersby, but he walked stiffly, leaning heavily on a mahogany cane. Between the constant noise of construction and the leery glances he was caught giving joggers from behind heavy curtains, it was safe to say Jason Mortheimer was unpopular.
My friend wanted to know what was going on in the house, nothing more. We’d talked about my interests and he’d been understanding; on some occasions, he’d paid me to snoop on romantic interests, to find out their sexual preference and availability. Usually, I’d take his money and not even break in, simply observing the individuals and using the key context clues that he so clearly had missed. His current boyfriend, who like him will remain unnamed, was a closeted individual who I’d been hired to snoop upon; now he was out of the closet, and happier than ever before. Good for the two of them. But this was the first time my friend wanted me to snoop for anything approaching a benign curiosity, and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t also curious.
It wasn’t until the construction had stopped, about a week after the last team had left, that I made my move. I was going to enter the Mortheimer house, I was going to take this rich eccentric menace for everything that I could, and I was going to satisfy my curiosity.
The smell was, as it often is, the first thing I noticed. In most places, it’s a very human smell; scented candles, food, soaps, or even unwashed individuals sweating in the summer heat. This place, however, smelled sterile, and vaguely metallic. Like the smell of dentist’s tools, fresh from the sealed pack.
The interior was lavish, but just as odd as the man who inhabited it. Oil paintings of gargantuan scale leered down at me, Bavarian dukes and kings with severe faces glowered from antiquated frames. The floor was mostly granite, covered by a single crimson velvet rug that spanned the various landings. Dim halogen bulbs lit the corners of the halls, leaving the rest of the walk in murky near-darkness. Only the front of the house, as I would come to learn, had windows; the rest of the rooms were the same tiled, featureless rooms with odd decor. I passed no less than three bedrooms, each pristine and untouched, and entirely identical. Even the paintings began to loop, but those were more noticeably wrong, as the individual texture of the brushstrokes would differ between rooms.
The upper floors to the house were bizarre. Dining rooms and redundant kitchens on second-floor landings. An attic with a bathroom in it. Bedrooms so close as to be functionally adjoining. And all of them without so much as a sign of life. I checked three separate refrigerators, and while they were indeed cold, there was not a crumb of food in any of them. Drawers in the bedrooms would be completely empty, just varnished wood staring up at me where some evidence of habitation should have been. The attic bathroom was functional, I was surprised to see, and I marveled at the sheer ridiculousness of it. How much pipe the drains must have had.
When I reached the ground floor once more, I saw him. Jason Mortheimer, staring out the window as he always did. He was hunched, lame almost, as he peered from curtains of the same velvet as the rug. Without a sound, I descended the stairs and entered the first sub-level.
Roland Wood died two years ago. I feel this is important. You must understand that Roland Wood, captain of the volleyball team, was struck by an 18-wheeler and given a closed-casket funeral two years ago. I was there. I hadn’t been close to Roland, or Rollie as he was called by his friends, but the family had invited my family and we weren’t so disrespectful as to ignore the grief of our neighbors. I watched the pallbearers put Rollie in the grave, heard his mother’s hysterical sobs as the burial continued, and saw the grave covered in the cemetery.
Roland Wood, two years dead, body irreparably damaged by the crushing force of an 18-wheeler truck, stood before me as I rounded the corner into the first room. He wore a dress shirt and pants, and he stared straight ahead, eyes glassy and unfocused. It was all I could do to not yelp in surprise as I saw the slack features of a dead teenager in the first room of this strange place. Thick, iron staples perforated the skin everywhere, and numerous discolored teeth shone unblemished white alongside the rotten and deteriorated others. His skin, usually so tan from the volleyball games in the summer sun, was pale and slightly blue, riven with lumps and thin patches where the impression of bone could be made out.
Rollie wasn’t alone in that room. A dozen others stood still, staring at the wall, similarly dressed in formal wear. Women wore elegant dresses and pearls, men wore dinner suits and tuxedos, and all stood like mannequins in the cold, bare room.
“Admiring them, are we?”
I spun as Jason Mortheimer limped into the room, looking straight past me at the ghoulish tableaux.
“I- I-,” I began, but he jerkily raised a hand and shook his head.
“Don’t speak, lad. I heard you on the stairwell. Now tell me, what do you think of my merry little gathering?”
I swallowed and looked back over the legion of corpses.
“Are they… alive?”
Jason chuckled and shrugged.
“In a way. Although you’ll find they’re quite poor conversationalists. Everyone,” he called out, clapping his hands together, “please greet our new guest.”
In unison, the corpses turned to face me, their jaws opening with a creak and their eyes locking onto mine.
“Greetings,” they all intoned, a single voice coming from numerous throats. It cared not for the gender of the body it spoke from; they were all the same dolorous rasp, forced from lips that did not match the words spoken.
“Listen, Mr. Mortheimer, I didn’t come here to-”
“-rob me? Oh, I don’t believe that, friend, and neither do you.”
“Please, sir, I’ll just leave, I won’t tell a soul what I’ve seen.”
Jason shrugged, a jerky spasmodic gesture.
“It doesn’t matter if you do or don’t, dear boy. Nobody will believe you. So, you may go.”
I looked at him. He still didn’t meet my gaze, staring intently at his grisy arrangement.
“That’s… it? I can just leave?”
“Of course. I would prefer you to.”
“You’re not going to hurt me or something?”
Finally, Jason turned his gaze on me, an insincere grin twisting his features.
“Everything I can do has been done.”
With that, he turned away, jerkily climbing the steps. I ran past him, bolting for the door. It wasn’t far, and he made no move to stop me. I flung the old door wide and sprinted out into the daylight, gasping and shuddering as I ran. Confused passersby blinked as I stormed past, sprinting in the direction of home. Relief and terror warred in my mind as I reached my front door, and I threw it wide, startling my parents from the couch.
“Jacob?,” My father asked, “where’s the fire?”
I panted my excuses and sat at the kitchen table. I said I’d had a fright, thought I was being followed, because someone put a note in my locker.
“Speaking of notes,” said my father, gesturing to where the mail lay piled on the counter. There, a yellowing envelope had been opened.
“What’s this?” I asked, dread settling in the pit of my stomach.
“It was an invitation,” my father answered, “to a party. Fancy dress. It’s at that old… oh, what’s the name of the guy who owns it now?”
“The Mortheimer house?”
He nodded and smiled.
“That’s the one. Your mother and I are planning on going at the end of the month. Do you want to come along?”
I smiled weakly, my mind racing.
“I… I guess.”