School bus me choda

When I was in my last year of high school, I rode the bus and I had like this feeling on the back of my head that was hot so I put my hand back there and I pulled out of hair and it was burnt. I was so freaked out because I had no idea what was happening. I got to my bus stop and I told the bus driver hey my hair has been burned and showed him the hair I got off went home and called my mom who at the time was a bus driver so she talked to the people that do the videos and stuff on the bus. they looked through it. The girl put a lot behind me put a lighter to my head five or six times . the next day at school I still had no idea what happened and they took me back to the principal office. I thought they were going. We were gonna talk about it with the principal, the vice, principal counselor and like they had her do apology and it look like she had crocodile ears and was like rubbing her eyes and, I accept the apology but they’re gonna have the day gonna have the parents come and do like a big apology. I talked to my mom and the people at dispatch and I heard what happened and had a good talk with my mom. We decided we were gonna go to the police and press charges. I usually put a bunch of stuff in my hair to style it and on that day, I was just like not feeling it and decided not to and if I did, that stuff is highly flammable, my head would’ve been a big ball of fire. I couldn’t really ride the bus anymore and since I do have the autism decide to put on I have no idea why she did. The school wasn’t too happy because I said that I was OK with doing the apology, but I don’t think I was wrong because of how scary the situation was, am I the asshole?

Since most of you guys are sharing your wholesome moments so here's mine:
Normally, I travel through Govt. buses to get to my school, but due to exams, the institution had arranged buses for all the batch-mates to maintain uniformity.
So, all of us went through that bus to college, everyone was nervous 'cause none of us had taken practical classes seriously. Later, we gave the exam, it went quite better that what we'd expected.
On the way back, it was evening and it was slowly getting dark. I live very far away from my school and thus I was the last one to be dropped. I had fun all along the way but, one-by-one everyone got off and I was all alone on the last seat.
I had sneaked a mobile phone to the school and since I still had half an hour 'til I reach my stop, I plugged in my earphones and played some songs (what a peaceful day it was). Though I said I was all alone, there were a few girls sitting in the front seats. I was friends with them but not so close to talk regularly.
So, I was jamming to the music and 10 minutes pass by and a girl gets up from her seat and sits in front of me, at this point, only two of us were left in the bus (apart from the driver). She was from my old school and we're good friends back then (even now).
She turns back and asks me if I'd lend her my phone to call her mother to come and pick her up. I said okay and let her use my phone, she called her mom and her mom asked her to wait for a few minutes 'til she reached the bus-stop. (I could hear them talk 'cause it was quite AF)
Then, she thanked me and whilst returning back my phone, she peeked into my phone and gave me a surprised pikachu face. I was confused but she didn't even hesitate to play the song that I was listening to (that too on speakers).
Now, Chipi Chipi Chapa Chapa Dubi Dubi Daba Daba was playing on maximum volume and she started laughing (in a good way though) and I was embarrassed 'cause I'm that Sakt Launda in front of anyone else out of my close friends circle. Then, I snatched my phone from her and asked her to stop (she didn't).
Now it was quite dark and I thought of getting off at her stop and waiting 'til her mom arrives and I did so. I got off at her stop and acted as if I was off for some business. She noticed and being a filter-less girl she always is, she asked me to wait 'til her mom comes.
Her mom calls back and says that it'd take her few more minutes to arrive so, we were waiting. Then, as playful as she always is, she grabs the phone from my hand and starts surfing on my playlists. She said that our music tastes match a lot and then she added some of her favorite songs to my playlist.
Then we waited, with the music playing on maximum volume 'til her mom arrived. Her mom gave me a shoulder-pat as a thank you and she gave a lovely smile as a good-bye.
Now, it's been months since it happened and we're good friends doing lame stuff of sending memes and songs to each other, and out of all the girls (and people) I've interacted, she's one of those few who understands and laughs at my humor.
TL;DR: OP's had a fair bit of female (and human) interaction but still acts/rants as if he had none.
PS: IDK if this worth enough to be considered a "wholesome" story 'cause it's just a basic healthy interaction among two individuals. (Koi Na, Jitna Hey Utne Mey Khus Hu)
Edit: I didn't expect this to be this long.

Aaj mere best friend ka birthday tha, mei dummy student hu lekin aaj mere coaching ki chutti thi toh soocha 11th mei pehle baar school chala jao. Meine phone par baat kari school ke management se aur mujhe aane ki permission mil gayi thi par jab school bus mere ghar ke samne khadi thi aur mere hi interzaar kar rahi thi mujhe mere papa inshara de kar bulate hai aur kehte hai, school ke principle ne aane se mana kardiya hai(bkl sali). Haar din jab mei meri coaching ki van ka intezaar karta hu toh mujhe bus jaate hua dikhti hai par jaa nahi sakta school aur dosto se mil nahi sakta.
10vi ka result aaya ahr mere main 5 me 93 bane aur best five mei 94.4 par koi khushi nahi hai kyoki ye marks kuch nahi kehte. mere awaare classmate jisne baas last mahine mei answers raate maar diye uske lag bhagh mere jitni hi aa rahe hai. Mujhe marks se problem nahi hai but meri problem hai ki meine jo marks laane ke liye saal bhar dil lagakar padha aur chizo ko samajne ki kohshis kari out of genuine curiosity and passion of learning, uska koi outcome nahi tha. Mere parivaar wale bohot khush hai lekin mujhe koi khushi nahi ho rahi. Also i know acche marks aaye hai par jitne expect kare the utne nahi aa rahe. ss mei 99 hai, english mei 90 science mei 89, aur maths mei 91, pata nahi kya galat likha tha. ek toh meri handwritings aids dene wali hai aur presentation raadi hai uska kuch aasar hoga, but it doesnt matter and shouldnt really think about it.

Long story short, a girl who I know from my major who also used to take the bus with me had graduated a year ago, at that time I had went my way and bought her graduation gifts and a congratulations card, a year later she had not even texted me "congratulations" on my graduation last week, although she had went to the graduation party and knows that I've graduated there.
Here is the thing, me, her and her friend who is now my ex-friend used to take the same bus and are in the same major, but since me and my ex-friend and a couple other people had to work in a graduation project she had showed me her true colors, in short she is nothing but a snake, a bully, a backstabber, and I am pretty sure that she had been feeding her lies and other stuff about me. guy to the point where I would be walking through a room's door and she would be opening the door to "us", & when I had said "thank you" to her she ignored me, meanwhile when the guy behind me who is one of the guys who used to work in the graduation project with us had passed by and thanked her, she said "your welcome" to him.
I am hurt, I am broken, the group that I've worked with for the graduation project have hurt me, bullied me, etc I need therapy becuase of them. I could write over 1000 pages about everything they've done to me during the past 9 months, specially this semester, I don't know what to do, I've already graduated, I feel like shit, I keep dissociating, I am afraid of facing real life, I just wish I can go back in time and re-live my last semester in uni, it was the WORST semester ever, the constant bullying, humiliation, and the INFINTE AMOUNT OF RACISMA that I've faced was and still unbearable, I wish I could have the chance to go back and enjoy my last semester in uni, I am stuck in this phase of depression, I can't accept the fact that I am no longer an undergraduate, that time is flying by me, I regret being vulnerable and opening up to my ex-friend, I regret befriending her, I wish when she had approached me in class 2 years ago that I've kept it casual, maybe now she would have just been a "classmate", I hate being in this position.
I am afraid of befriending people now, not a single person from my uni had contacted me after graduating, It was literally me sending a congrats text to 5 people, 3 of them had replied, and the 3ed one keeps dragging replying to me for days, and the other 2 literally ignored the texts. I feel so lonely, so alone, I don't even have high-school friend, childhood friends, etc.

Hi I am a (18f) and my ex best friend (14f) have been friends for six to five years and me and her met on the bus since her mom is a bus driver but imma call her Ella she and I have been off and on for years but I wanna know if I am the butthole for choosing to not be friends with her and cut off contact with her because of how she was treating our friends and me and some of the things she has done while being friends with me. So this all started back when me and our first were starting to hang out so that was back in 2022. We’re at our house we were talking having fun just chilling around. She had to leave to do something for her family while I was in the room talking to one of her friends, let’s call him Billy me and him didn’t like each other at all but we made sure to be nice to each other when Ella is around but we were constantly bickering at each other, but that’s besides the point she and Billy have been friends for years years and that’s right before I even came into the picture so I was in a different state while she was being friends with Billy bickering at each other, but that’s besides the point she and Billy have been friends for years years and that’s right before I even came into the picture so I was in a different state while she was friends with Billy but those two have been off and on for years friends to lovers time stuff and I was just a third wheel so I was basically just third wheeling them, but while she was dating him, she would have other guys added onto snap like talking to them and entertaining them like what your dating someone while talking to other guys was wild to me I didn’t say anything because I didn’t wanna meddle in their relationship and plus I didn’t really know him at the time barely but me and him have started getting really close and those few months and I decided to tell him that I hope you know your girl has been talking to some other dudes and that’s when he decided to not date her anymore so those two broke up Ella and Billy are friends still and we decided to add another member to our group which would be? laya And me and her don’t know each other about at that time we were getting to know each other and we actually became really good friends Ella thought it would be the best thing ever to be in a poly relationship with Billy and laya and here’s where things take a turn for the worst for five months those three were dating while I was over at our three were dating while I was over at her house SHE WAS TALKING TO OTHER MEN WHILE BEING IN A relationship but that’s not all she had other apps to also talk to hot other men and showing me what she was doing she had me snap them and everything was just a hell no for me and when it got to those three breaking up me and her decided to stop being friends that was right at the same time me and Josh and when it got to those three breaking up me and her just decided to stop being friends that was right at the same time me and Billy and I were talking and we were talking about her behavior and what was going on because he kept saying she kept doing this shit over and over and I was like why would you still be together with her if you knew or since I’ve told you that she was cheating on the three of you and this was back in may or june so it was fresh out of the water type shit and me, Billy, laya decided to drop Ella and start a new friendship circle to say away Ella but we also added a new member her name is Zara and she also had bad encounters with Ella and as we were being friends having fun just being chill , me and Billy started dating we were dating for two months so that was June and July but here comes the funny part. All of us decided to stop being friends and also dating each other because I was busy with school, and they were also busy with school so we just left and not have been friends when it came to me and laya she started to be friends again back in august and we were playing Fortnite we were playing anything talking having fun texting and she asked if I could adopt her. I said yes because why not. And then I found out that Laya and Billy dated broke up and then found out again Zara and Billy are dating by Ella we slowly decided to be friends again to keep the peace and have no more drama but here comes the craziest plot twist. This will happen in 2023 till like 2022 now here comes 2024 rolling in February or always hung out with each other having fun so we were just chilling. Me and Billy were liking each other our whole entire friend group dated him. I didn’t. I only dated him once maybe twice that was it learned my lesson from that but slowly, it was just a type of feelings, but it slowly fades away. That’s what it was happening to me and my daughter laya got grounded from her real parents and told me and our friends that she was grounded for a week so her boyfriend let’s call him Iggy that whole entire week. He was crying. He was missing her. Let me just say on Valentine’s Day. He said he was single and that he didn’t have a girlfriend because she got grounded and couldn’t talk to him so me and my other friend we were like on FT with him, and we were trying to get a spirits up by playing with other filters on there apparently he didn’t like the Valentines ones. I kept telling us to change it. It was whatever we did anyway, and it was messed up then right after that it was a Friday I decided to text. Laya and I was telling her that your boyfriend was saying he was single and then also the same day Zara was dating Ella and let me tell you the whole entire week. Ella was talking to laya’s bf iggy while Ella was in a whole ass relationship with one of my friends Zara so when I told both of them that Ella and Iggy were talking nonstop, calling FaceTime in texting each other on Snapchat and on phone numbers and then come to find out that those two were dating while being a whole ass relationship with two other people the other two people are laya and Zara so those too were broken, they were crying. I was trying to cheer them up when it got to but like, why would you do that to your significant other so that was my question I kept questioning why I was still friends with her, but at the same time I was just trying to keep the peace between our families. She tried to call the police on me or at least threaten me, saying if I didn’t return her switch, she called the cops on me even though she left my house at a sleepover thing. She got fucking bonkers like Billy and Ellis are no longer friends like they were hitting each other, but they were trying to get along, but it didn’t work out because I decided to be a whole ass bitch to him and not be friends and it was wild because I didn’t know so me and Billy started dating again in April and I guess Ella didn’t like how much I was talking about but she can talk about relationships though so it was random or decided to contact with each other because she was very toxic she wasn’t mature enough to handle relationship because all she ever did was cheat on every significant other she had and what was crazy is she had a app called wizz on there talking to guys WHO ARE OLDER THEN HER and now she’s dating a guy who is retarded as hell if I’m being honest like he’s a type of person that you don’t want anyone hanging around with because he kept lying about his age and then there was like a whole lot of shit with him and I just didn’t like him but like shit put me through has made me question my life choices, man like cheating on others with someone then also had the audacity to threaten my mom multiple occasions texting her late at night while she’s trying to sleep then going bad shit crazy when I called off the friendship multiple times damn well thinking you were going to change your fucking self because what you were doing was not healthy. It was toxic as hell then call me a toxic bitch who deserves no fucking life or some shit like that idk but like it’s crazy how I had to spend my high school years, trying to help her with her mental health and try to help her out anyway I can but in return I just get no help back like it was like one side of friendship I guess but the reason why I was friends with the 14 year year-old even though I’m 18 because I’m the only older kid living on our stree and she doesn’t have any of her friends living near her except me and she doesn’t have any of her friends living near her except me and most of her friends don’t talk to her and yeah everything in the span of 2021 to 2024 with was wild and not drama free.

Long story short, a girl who I know from my major who also used to take the bus with me had graduated a year ago, at that time I had went my way and bought her graduation gifts and a congratulations card, a year later she had not even texted me "congratulations" on my graduation last week, although she had went to the graduation party and knows that I've graduated there.
Here is the thing, me, her and her friend who is now my ex-friend used to take the same bus and are in the same major, but since me and my ex-friend and a couple other people had to work in a graduation project she had showed me her true colors, in short she is nothing but a snake, a bully, a backstabber, and I am pretty sure that she had been feeding her lies and other stuff about me. guy to the point where I would be walking through a room's door and she would be opening the door to "us", & when I had said "thank you" to her she ignored me, meanwhile when the guy behind me who is one of the guys who used to work in the graduation project with us had passed by and thanked her, she said "your welcome" to him.
I am hurt, I am broken, the group that I've worked with for the graduation project have hurt me, bullied me, etc I need therapy becuase of them. I could write over 1000 pages about everything they've done to me during the past 9 months, specially this semester, I don't know what to do, I've already graduated, I feel like shit, I keep dissociating, I am afraid of facing real life, I just wish I can go back in time and re-live my last semester in uni, it was the WORST semester ever, the constant bullying, humiliation, and the INFINTE AMOUNT OF RACISMA that I've faced was and still unbearable, I wish I could have the chance to go back and enjoy my last semester in uni, I am stuck in this phase of depression, I can't accept the fact that I am no longer an undergraduate, that time is flying by me, I regret being vulnerable and opening up to my ex-friend, I regret befriending her, I wish when she had approached me in class 2 years ago that I've kept it casual, maybe now she would have just been a "classmate", I hate being in this position.
I am afraid of befriending people now, not a single person from my uni had contacted me after graduating, It was literally me sending a congrats text to 5 people, 3 of them had replied, and the 3ed one keeps dragging replying to me for days, and the other 2 literally ignored the texts. I feel so lonely, so alone, I don't even have high-school friend, childhood friends, etc.

Long story short, a girl who I know from my major who also used to take the bus with me had graduated a year ago, at that time I had went my way and bought her graduation gifts and a congratulations card, a year later she had not even texted me "congratulations" on my graduation last week, although she had went to the graduation party and knows that I've graduated there.
Here is the thing, me, her and her friend who is now my ex-friend used to take the same bus and are in the same major, but since me and my ex-friend and a couple other people had to work in a graduation project she had showed me her true colors, in short she is nothing but a snake, a bully, a backstabber, and I am pretty sure that she had been feeding her lies and other stuff about me. guy to the point where I would be walking through a room's door and she would be opening the door to "us", & when I had said "thank you" to her she ignored me, meanwhile when the guy behind me who is one of the guys who used to work in the graduation project with us had passed by and thanked her, she said "your welcome" to him.
I am hurt, I am broken, the group that I've worked with for the graduation project have hurt me, bullied me, etc I need therapy becuase of them. I could write over 1000 pages about everything they've done to me during the past 9 months, specially this semester, I don't know what to do, I've already graduated, I feel like shit, I keep dissociating, I am afraid of facing real life, I just wish I can go back in time and re-live my last semester in uni, it was the WORST semester ever, the constant bullying, humiliation, and the INFINTE AMOUNT OF RACISM that I've faced was and still unbearable, I wish I could have the chance to go back and enjoy my last semester in uni, I am stuck in this phase of depression, I can't accept the fact that I am no longer an undergraduate, that time is flying by me, I regret being vulnerable and opening up to my ex-friend, I regret befriending her, I wish when she had approached me in class 2 years ago that I've kept it casual, maybe now she would have just been a "classmate", I hate being in this position.
I am afraid of befriending people now, not a single person from my uni had contacted me after graduating, It was literally me sending a congrats text to 5 people, 3 of them had replied, and the 3ed one keeps dragging replying to me for days, and the other 2 literally ignored the texts. I feel so lonely, so alone, I don't even have high-school friend, childhood friends, etc.

Long story short, a girl who I know from my major who also used to take the bus with me had graduated a year ago, at that time I had went my way and bought her graduation gifts and a congratulations card, a year later she had not even texted me "congratulations" on my graduation last week, although she had went to the graduation party and knows that I've graduated there.
Here is the thing, me, her and her friend who is now my ex-friend used to take the same bus and are in the same major, but since me and my ex-friend and a couple other people had to work in a graduation project she had showed me her true colors, in short she is nothing but a snake, a bully, a backstabber, and I am pretty sure that she had been feeding her lies and other stuff about me. guy to the point where I would be walking through a room's door and she would be opening the door to "us", & when I had said "thank you" to her she ignored me, meanwhile when the guy behind me who is one of the guys who used to work in the graduation project with us had passed by and thanked her, she said "your welcome" to him.
I am hurt, I am broken, the group that I've worked with for the graduation project have hurt me, bullied me, etc I need therapy becuase of them. I could write over 1000 pages about everything they've done to me during the past 9 months, specially this semester, I don't know what to do, I've already graduated, I feel like shit, I keep dissociating, I am afraid of facing real life, I just wish I can go back in time and re-live my last semester in uni, it was the WORST semester ever, the constant bullying, humiliation, and the INFINTE AMOUNT OF RACISMA that I've faced was and still unbearable, I wish I could have the chance to go back and enjoy my last semester in uni, I am stuck in this phase of depression, I can't accept the fact that I am no longer an undergraduate, that time is flying by me, I regret being vulnerable and opening up to my ex-friend, I regret befriending her, I wish when she had approached me in class 2 years ago that I've kept it casual, maybe now she would have just been a "classmate", I hate being in this position.
I am afraid of befriending people now, not a single person from my uni had contacted me after graduating, It was literally me sending a congrats text to 5 people, 3 of them had replied, and the 3ed one keeps dragging replying to me for days, and the other 2 literally ignored the texts. I feel so lonely, so alone, I don't even have high-school friend, childhood friends, etc.

Long story short, a girl who I know from my major who also used to take the bus with me had graduated a year ago, at that time I had went my way and bought her graduation gifts and a congratulations card, a year later she had not even texted me "congratulations" on my graduation last week, although she had went to the graduation party and knows that I've graduated there.
Here is the thing, me, her and her friend who is now my ex-friend used to take the same bus and are in the same major, but since me and my ex-friend and a couple other people had to work in a graduation project she had showed me her true colors, in short she is nothing but a snake, a bully, a backstabber, and I am pretty sure that she had been feeding her lies and other stuff about me. guy to the point where I would be walking through a room's door and she would be opening the door to "us", & when I had said "thank you" to her she ignored me, meanwhile when the guy behind me who is one of the guys who used to work in the graduation project with us had passed by and thanked her, she said "your welcome" to him.
I am hurt, I am broken, the group that I've worked with for the graduation project have hurt me, bullied me, etc I need therapy becuase of them. I could write over 1000 pages about everything they've done to me during the past 9 months, specially this semester, I don't know what to do, I've already graduated, I feel like shit, I keep dissociating, I am afraid of facing real life, I just wish I can go back in time and re-live my last semester in uni, it was the WORST semester ever, the constant bullying, humiliation, and the INFINTE AMOUNT OF RACISMA that I've faced was and still unbearable, I wish I could have the chance to go back and enjoy my last semester in uni, I am stuck in this phase of depression, I can't accept the fact that I am no longer an undergraduate, that time is flying by me, I regret being vulnerable and opening up to my ex-friend, I regret befriending her, I wish when she had approached me in class 2 years ago that I've kept it casual, maybe now she would have just been a "classmate", I hate being in this position.
I am afraid of befriending people now, not a single person from my uni had contacted me after graduating, It was literally me sending a congrats text to 5 people, 3 of them had replied, and the 3ed one keeps dragging replying to me for days, and the other 2 literally ignored the texts. I feel so lonely, so alone, I don't even have high-school friend, childhood friends, etc.

Long story short, a girl who I know from my major who also used to take the bus with me had graduated a year ago, at that time I had went my way and bought her graduation gifts and a congratulations card, a year later she had not even texted me "congratulations" on my graduation last week, although she had went to the graduation party and knows that I've graduated there.
Here is the thing, me, her and her friend who is now my ex-friend used to take the same bus and are in the same major, but since me and my ex-friend and a couple other people had to work in a graduation project she had showed me her true colors, in short she is nothing but a snake, a bully, a backstabber, and I am pretty sure that she had been feeding her lies and other stuff about me. guy to the point where I would be walking through a room's door and she would be opening the door to "us", & when I had said "thank you" to her she ignored me, meanwhile when the guy behind me who is one of the guys who used to work in the graduation project with us had passed by and thanked her, she said "your welcome" to him.
I am hurt, I am broken, the group that I've worked with for the graduation project have hurt me, bullied me, etc I need therapy becuase of them. I could write over 1000 pages about everything they've done to me during the past 9 months, specially this semester, I don't know what to do, I've already graduated, I feel like shit, I keep dissociating, I am afraid of facing real life, I just wish I can go back in time and re-live my last semester in uni, it was the WORST semester ever, the constant bullying, humiliation, and the INFINTE AMOUNT OF RACISMA that I've faced was and still unbearable, I wish I could have the chance to go back and enjoy my last semester in uni, I am stuck in this phase of depression, I can't accept the fact that I am no longer an undergraduate, that time is flying by me, I regret being vulnerable and opening up to my ex-friend, I regret befriending her, I wish when she had approached me in class 2 years ago that I've kept it casual, maybe now she would have just been a "classmate", I hate being in this position.
I am afraid of befriending people now, not a single person from my uni had contacted me after graduating, It was literally me sending a congrats text to 5 people, 3 of them had replied, and the 3ed one keeps dragging replying to me for days, and the other 2 literally ignored the texts. I feel so lonely, so alone, I don't even have high-school friend, childhood friends, etc.

Note: To make it less confusing and for privacy reasons, names of cities/areas are given fake names.
My family and I (25F) are going to be moving to Oakville in the next couple of months. I’m not excited about it. Mainly because I’m going to be farther away from my boyfriend whom I love dearly, but also because I’m going to be extremely lonely once we move.
When I was about 4, my family moved to Stoneway where I spent the majority of my life there. Then, in 2020, we had to move to Grayton (about 32 minutes away from Stoneway). I had to say goodbye to my close friends whom I’ve grown up with since elementary and high school, something I never thought I had to do so that was hard on me emotionally. When we moved to Grayton I was extremely lonely and had a hard time adjusting to the new home. I don't like major changes, and I felt homesick for my old house and friends. I don't know if it's normal to feel that way as an adult, I felt like a kid.
After living in this area for about 4 years, I've gotten used to it. I don't love it, I find the area very boring. I still miss Stoneway. Now, my dad recently found a new workplace, in Oakville. I've never been there, I don't know what the area or people there are like. When I found out that we were going to move again, I looked on google maps to see how far is Oakville from where my boyfriend and our friend group live (Summerdale). And depending on what street we move to, it's about 55 minutes to an hour by car...
While this has pushed me further to get my driver's license, with the way that I am, I'm going to be lonely and unhappy in Oakville. Sure, I could always go visit places alone, but I can only do that so much to the point that I start wishing I had my friends with me. And since my friends are adults, some of them are either still in school or working full-time jobs, and some of them might not be willing to drive that far (gas is hella expensive in my province) or take a bus for 2 hours.
I thought about downloading BumbleBFF, but didn’t because A) the idea of paying money every month just to use an app to make friends sounds weirdly dystopian to me, and B) I’m very cautious over people online/apps because, for all I know, they could be a liar or looking for their next victim.
Some important context: I have mild autism, which affects how I socialize with some people. I’m not a social butterfly but I find that when I’m introduced to/meet the right people, I can keep a conversation going. Another reason that I’m not going to go into why because it’s extremely personal, is that I also have major trust issues when it comes to making friends.
I want to make friends in the new area so that I don’t have to go to places alone all the time, so that I won’t feel sad every time I see friends having fun, so that I don’t waste my life rotting in bed and going to work when I could be going to events with people who like me and making memories.
But the thought of having to open myself up to someone who may have negative intentions, or could later turn out to be a bad friend, or something worse… terrifies me.
TLDR; I'm a 25F who is moving to a new city and wants to make new friends in that area, but I have issues socializing and trusting people.
Any advice is appreciated <3

I'm at my wit's end. The office politics in my workplace are OUT. OF. CONTROL. It's like high school all over again, but with way more expensive suits.
I've always tried to just focus on my work and be a good teammate, but it feels like that's not enough. I see people getting ahead by sucking up to the boss and throwing their colleagues under the bus, and it's making me sick.
I'm not even sure how to play the game anymore. Any tips from people who've been there? Or am I just destined to be stuck in the middle while everyone else climbs the corporate ladder by stepping on each other?

This is a really long story with lots of context so I'll do my best to organize it into current situation, then his backstory and hers. I'm also not using real names or specific locations for any of this to try and keep this private. This also has some contradicting stories and because of how their relationship is structured relies mostly on information I have gotten from my sister, so I'm telling you the story I got from her first and then adding in what I've found out. I'll try to tell this as unbiased as I can but it's been a huge issue in my family for a long time now and that's a little difficult for me to do.
My (20F) sister (Olivia, 24F) has been dating this guy (Trevor, 25M) since 2021. When they started dating, she talked about him fairly often, sent a few pictures of them, ect., but then after a month she stopped mentioning him/ was cagey when we (me and my mom mostly) asked how he was so we assumed it just hadn't worked out. Then two months later she insisted that my parents (54F and 56M) and I all come to visit her college to meet Trevor before he went into the Army (she lived several hours away from my parents and several hours from my college, so I had to get a bus ticket and my parents had to get a hotel room to do this. We only met him once for dinner). Now they've been dating long distance for three years after a three month in-person relationship. She is in nursing school and is planning on moving across the country (literally opposite corners of the map) to live with him and is not applying to any residency programs outside of the Army base area (limiting her choices a LOT from her original goals and narrowing employment opportunities).
Olivia met Trevor on several dating apps, matched with him, but didn't really want to go out with him. He was really persistent, so her friend convinced her to go out with him. She lied about the way they met to our parents and told them they met at the gym through a mutual friend (she lied to me about this at first too and told me the truth about 3 months after they started dating). At the time, Trevor was working as a used car salesman and living at home (~45 min. away from Olivia's school in a rural area) because his sports scholarship had been dropped before his Senior year due to covid at the college he had been attending out of state. The university was unaccredited (I later did some internet stalking and found out it was accredited), so his credits would not transfer and he would have to start over. He was saving up money to attend school in state at the large college Olivia attended so he could go back to school. **Our state has crazy low tuition costs in-state and a full-tuition scholarship program for good high school GPA and SAT scores. There was also a "feeder" community college that had half the cost per credit hour that a lot of people would go to before the larger university if they didn't get in straight out of high school.**
Olivia told me that Trevor had applied to her college and not gotten in (she later told me he HAD gotten in but been unable to afford tuition). Either way, he decided to join the Army because his father had been in the Army. The Army would take his credit hours and he would be able to finish his degree during his 5 year contract or use the GI bill once he got out. **She is comparing the situation to our father, who joined the Army directly out of high school and used the GI bill to go to college after his 2 year contract because his parents wouldn't pay for school. He was a medic in the military, worked as an EMT through college, and then went to nursing school.** The original plan was that Trevor would be a Green Beret (special forces), he completed basic training and and got several months through training and moved to the secondary base in NC before failing the running portion of a physical by about 10 seconds and being dropped from the selection process. He then decided that he wanted to be a Ranger (another elite position). He got sent back to GA, then to the Ranger school base in WA (it took a couple of months before he was sent to WA). Again, he got partway through the training before failing the running portion of a physical by a few seconds. He is now not sure if he will be continuing Ranger school (failing the physical means no, but commanders may pass him anyways if they think he should continue). For a while, Trevor told Olivia that he might not stay at the base in WA if he wasn't in Ranger school and there were a variety of different bases he could be sent to, including somewhere in Italy, so she wasn't sure where to look for jobs. In the past month, Trevor told Olivia that he would likely stay in WA regardless of the Ranger school results.
Through this all, Olivia has visited Trevor at the different military bases countless times, driving from as far as south FL to NC and putting over 30,000 miles on a brand new car over the course of the 1.5 years she's owned it. Before she had the car, she paid for plane tickets to see him and hotels whenever she visited. At the time, she told me that he was paying for all of these trips because he was unable to visit her, was making an income that wasn't being spent, and she was working to save for nursing school and later was living off of student loans and savings during nursing school. She later admitted to me that she had paid for almost all of the expenses except for food when they ate out together and part of a hotel room one weekend.
A few odd things (to me) between Olivia and Trevor over the course of their relationship:
About a month into their relationship, Trevor got Olivia an over $300 christmas gift. He has not gotten her anything nearly that expensive since, and hasn't sent flowers for things like her college graduation or a severe emergency surgery she had last year. I don't care about monetary value or sending flowers, but I do think it is odd that he spent so much before moving away when he ostensibly didn't have much money, but now that he has an income and military sign-on bonus, he has not spent that much again.
Trevor's father left Trevor, his siblings, and his mother, but Trevor has a hat that his father gave him that he wore often. The hat says "Red Man" across the top of a picture of a Native American man wearing a feathered headdress. He has worn this hat several times around Olivia's friends and they told him they didn't like it and that it was racist. They also asked him to not wear it when he was with them and he refused because it was special to him and his father gave it to him. Olivia then told him to stop wearing it and he eventually agreed (Olivia told me that he stopped wearing the hat after this). A few weeks after this, I facetimed Olivia and Trevor was with her. She turned the camera so I could say hello to him, and he was wearing the hat. I talked to Olivia about this later and she told me that that was the first time he'd worn the hat in a while and it wasn't a big deal. Olivia has always been liberal and never racist, and I am uncomfortable that she was okay with him not only wearing the hat, but being with him while he had it on.
They dated for a little over 3 months in person before he joined the military (recently, Olivia told me that they actually met several months before she told everyone about him and that they actually dated for 6 months before he left). For the next two months in basic training, he was only able to use the phone for 15 minutes total once a week to talk to family and her. Throughout the different training programs he has completed he had sporadic and limited access to phones to communicate, and only in the past 6 months he has had access to his phone to facetime, text, and call (but sometimes he goes for a week or two without phone access). Olivia told me that they wrote letters during the time he didn't have consistent phone access. **I don't think that this is odd, I understand the military limits phone usage, etc., but I don't think they have been able to have an "average" long-distance relationship**
Last year, Olivia drove to GA to visit Trevor the weekend before Valentine's day. He had plans for them to take a pottery class, go on a hike, and have dinner at a nice restaurant. The day she got there, Trevor's barracks had their off-base privileges revoked because one of the guys had contraband. She would still be able to visit him on base though. Somehow, Trevor was able to get off base for long periods of time to her hotel, but unable to do the other activities he had planned for them.
In the past year, Olivia told me that she and Trevor were going to immediately marry when she got to WA so that they could move in together because they had to be married to live together anywhere. I and our dad- who was in the military- told her several times that this was not true, but she insisted it was. Then, his barracks were given an allowance to live off base in apartments because the barracks were being renovated/ rebuilt, so she backed off on the idea of getting married immediately after several long conversations with me. She is still insistent on moving in with Trevor, who lives with a roommate, when she moves to WA.
Some background on Olivia:
Olivia has ADHD and anxiety, and struggled particularly badly with the anxiety/ some depression after being broken up with by the boyfriend she dated before Trevor (he broke it off very abruptly, told her he just didn't love her anymore with no previous indications). Olivia is very pretty (objectively, not just because she's my sister), but had bad acne that she ended up going on accutane for at the time she started dating Trevor and was very insecure about it. She had also decided to not go to medical school, and pursue nursing instead around the same time she met Trevor. This was a very upsetting decision for her because she had been taking very hard courses and was burnt out but had told everyone she was going to be a doctor and thought that she would be letting us down by switching paths. Also around the time she started seeing Trevor, Olivia began being very cruel towards our mother (our mother had been borderline emotionally abusive in the past, but Olivia and I were both in college by then and fixing our relationships with her. She has been much better recently and Olivia and I believe that she had some mental health struggles that went unchecked that contributed). Now, several years later, Olivia told our family that she had acted like that because she was rpd by a friend of her ex-boyfriend's after her ex broke up with her. This person also gave her an STD.
I always believe people who say they have been S A'd, and we believed Olivia when she first told us, but some things have come to light that make me and my family question that. Right after Olivia and her ex broke up, Olivia told our cousin that she had gone out with one of his friends and had revenge/ breakup sex with him because he had also been dumped recently. Once my cousin told me this, I remembered that Olivia had told me about a guy she had a one night stand with after she was dumped. She showed me a picture of him, talked about how cute he was, etc. (no distress whatsoever). I know sometimes people behave in ways you wouldn't expect when a traumatic event occurs to them, but I really don't understand how or why Olivia would brag about this guy if he really did S A her.
Three months ago, Olivia was arrested for stealing a set of sheets from Walmart (incidentally, right before Trevor came to visit her on leave). She used the self check-out and only bought a small $5 item and the sheets. She held both in one hand and scanned each side because she had a cut on the other hand and was holding her wallet with it. She saw a 5 in front of the total number and thought it looked right because the total should have been about $50, paid, didn't get a receipt, and walked out. An employee at the door asked to see a receipt, which Olivia didn't have, so she pulled up her transaction history on her phone to show she had paid. At this point, the employee called the police and took Olivia into an office, where she was questioned and charged with shoplifting. (Olivia can get very emotional and probably got upset when the police questioned her, which may have led them to believe she was lying). Luckily, Olivia has managed to get the charges expunged, but the process is still ongoing. Because of her ADHD, if anyone genuinely made this mistake, I would believe it from her, but Olivia has been improving a lot on organization and being more attentive recently. It is extremely uncharacteristic of her to steal- she was honest to a fault as kids- she would break down from guilt and admit things to our parents that we would have gotten away with if she hadn't said anything.
Right now, my parents have met Trevor twice in person, and I've met him once in person and several times in passing over facetime. I personally don't think that Trevor seems to keep up with my sister or that they make each other shine, and that opinion is shared with family friends and family that have met Trevor. Olivia doesn't mention Trevor in front of our parents often because his name has become a topic of contention and argument between them. My parents don't think Trevor is right for Olivia. She has almost 2 college degrees and plans to become a nurse practitioner in the future, and he hasn't finished college and doesn't seem to have any drive to do so. Olivia is also well traveled and enjoys going to museums, concerts, etc., while Trevor has lived in rural FL his whole life (this is not Trevor's fault, and I don't think he is a lesser person because of it, but I don't see a lot of common ground between them). Trevor has not seemed very well spoken when I have talked to him and I just don't see a lot of qualities in him that Olivia values.
If you've gotten this far, I just don't know what to do. Olivia and my parents have a huge rift in their relationship right now and any mention of Trevor, with her around or not, explodes into a huge argument, discussion, or just icy silence. I want Olivia to be able to talk to me about him, and we are able to discuss things much better than she is with our parents. My parents have also started asking me about Olivia and Trevor because they know Olivia shares more with me, and it makes me uncomfortable because I don't want to betray Olivia's trust, but I'm also very worried about her. I know I can't control her actions and I'm having a really hard time trying to balance supporting Olivia but not supporting the relationship (I'm not going to lie to her about how I feel, but I don't want her to feel alienated or unloved by our family, because that is NOT the case). I also think that Olivia is romanticizing the fact that our parents don't like him because my father's parents had a rift with him over our mother when we were very young (this is a whole other story, but basically, his parents always favored his sister, his sister got (I think) jealous when he did well for himself and married my mother, who his parents initially likes, and she made up rumors/lies about my mother that turned his parents against her (this was way before our mother's suspected mental health struggles, which occured when Olivia and I were in middle/high school).
Please share any thoughts you have on the situation (am I reading too into things, is this not as bad as I think it is?), and any advice you have on navigating the relationships.
Tl;dr My sister's boyfriend lied about the circumstances of him dropping out of college and joining the military. Now I think he's lying about not making it through training for two different special/ elite forces. My sister has significantly changed her behavior and I think she may have lied about a significant traumatic event to our family. Now she is planning on moving across the country to him and moving in immediately. Our entire family doesn't like him and we're worried about her. How do I support her but not her relationship?

I hate myself for this but I cannot maintain relationships I just never feel like I connect with anyone. I feel horrible for it, but I just never feel like I belong or fit in with anyone.
On rare occasions I make friends, I just figuratively feel like an alien from another planet. I don't feel like I fit in with others. I have to try to force my brain to try to understand how socializing works but it drains the heck out of me
I feel so stressed like I always need to say the right thing and it's hard to know what that right thing is. It doesn't help I feel embarrassed over every little tiny thing. It's actually funny at some points. I had to take a city bus today and I felt so anxious. I was Paranoid about coming across rude or wrong when I put the money in, I was worried was doing something wrong when I was sitting there, I felt so scared and embarrassed to pull the cord thing to get off
It'd so hard to do anything. I keep to myself and I couldn't even do school because I just feel like I'm figuratively from another planet or something. I feel so sick and horrible because I just feel like I'm never enough and I'm a horrible person because I can't do social stuff. I can't communicate or handle conflict. I am so scared of conflict I just avoid it at all costs which is a huge reason why it's so draining to talk to anyone
I feel embarrassed all the time and like I'm constantly doing something wrong or said something wrong and it's so exhausting. I wish I could move into the middle of the woods and be alone but I also wish I could communicate
I don't understand alot of social stuff which also plays a role. I don't understand many people. I just wish I was normal

This is a really long story with lots of context so I'll do my best to organize it into current situation, then his backstory and hers. I'm also not using real names or specific locations for any of this to try and keep this private. This also has some contradicting stories and because of how their relationship is structured relies mostly on information I have gotten from my sister, so I'm telling you the story I got from her first and then adding in what I've found out. I'll try to tell this as unbiased as I can but it's been a huge issue in my family for a long time now and that's a little difficult for me to do.
My(20F) sister (Olivia, 24F) has been dating this guy (Trevor, 25M) since 2021. When they started dating, she talked about him fairly often, sent a few pictures of them, ect., but then after a month she stopped mentioning him/ was cagey when we (me and my mom mostly) asked how he was so we assumed it just hadn't worked out. Then two months later she insisted that my parents (54F and 56M) and I all come to visit her college to meet Trevor before he went into the Army (she lived several hours away from my parents and several hours from my college, so I had to get a bus ticket and my parents had to get a hotel room to do this. We only met him once for dinner). Now they've been dating long distance for three years after a three month in-person relationship. She is in nursing school and is planning on moving across the country (literally opposite corners of the map) to live with him and is not applying to any residency programs outside of the Army base area (limiting her choices a LOT from her original goals and narrowing employment opportunities).
Olivia met Trevor on several dating apps, matched with him, but didn't really want to go out with him. He was really persistent, so her friend convinced her to go out with him. She lied about the way they met to our parents and told them they met at the gym through a mutual friend (she lied to me about this at first too and told me the truth about 3 months after they started dating). At the time, Trevor was working as a used car salesman and living at home (~45 min. away from Olivia's school in a rural area) because his sports scholarship had been dropped before his Senior year due to covid at the college he had been attending out of state. The university was unaccredited (I later did some internet stalking and found out it was accredited), so his credits would not transfer and he would have to start over. He was saving up money to attend school in state at the large college Olivia attended so he could go back to school. **Our state has crazy low tuition costs in-state and a full-tuition scholarship program for good high school GPA and SAT scores. There was also a "feeder" community college that had half the cost per credit hour that a lot of people would go to before the larger university if they didn't get in straight out of high school.**
Olivia told me that Trevor had applied to her college and not gotten in (she later told me he HAD gotten in but been unable to afford tuition). Either way, he decided to join the Army because his father had been in the Army. The Army would take his credit hours and he would be able to finish his degree during his 5 year contract or use the GI bill once he got out. **She is comparing the situation to our father, who joined the Army directly out of high school and used the GI bill to go to college after his 2 year contract because his parents wouldn't pay for school. He was a medic in the military, worked as an EMT through college, and then went to nursing school.** The original plan was that Trevor would be a Green Beret (special forces, linking the training pipeline here: https://www.reddit.com/greenberets/comments/xwdbta/current_sf_pipeline_correct_me_if_im_wrong/ ), he completed basic training and and got several months through the NC training before failing the running portion of a physical by about 10 seconds and being dropped from the selection process. He then decided that he wanted to be a Ranger (another elite position). He got sent back to GA, then to the Ranger school base in WA (it took a couple of months before he was sent to WA). Again, he got partway through the training before failing the running portion of a physical by a few seconds. He is now not sure if he will be continuing Ranger school (failing the physical means no, but commanders may pass him anyways if they think he should continue). For a while, Trevor told Olivia that he might not stay at the base in WA if he wasn't in Ranger school and there were a variety of different bases he could be sent to, including somewhere in Italy, so she wasn't sure where to look for jobs. In the past month, Trevor told Olivia that he would likely stay in WA regardless of the Ranger school results.
Through this all, Olivia has visited Trevor at the different military bases countless times, driving from as far as south FL to NC and putting over 30,000 miles on a brand new car over the course of the 1.5 years she's owned it. Before she had the car, she paid for plane tickets to see him and hotels whenever she visited. At the time, she told me that he was paying for all of these trips because he was unable to visit her, was making an income that wasn't being spent, and she was working to save for nursing school and later was living off of student loans and savings during nursing school. She later admitted to me that she had paid for almost all of the expenses except for food when they ate out together and part of a hotel room one weekend.
A few odd things (to me) between Olivia and Trevor over the course of their relationship:
About a month into their relationship, Trevor got Olivia an over $300 christmas gift. He has not gotten her anything nearly that expensive since, and hasn't sent flowers for things like her college graduation or a severe emergency surgery she had last year. I don't care about monetary value or sending flowers, but I do think it is odd that he spent so much before moving away when he ostensibly didn't have much money, but now that he has an income and military sign-on bonus, he has not spent that much again.
Trevor's father left Trevor, his siblings, and his mother, but Trevor has a hat that his father gave him that he wore often. The hat says "Red Man" across the top of a picture of a Native American man wearing a feathered headdress. He has worn this hat several times around Olivia's friends and they told him they didn't like it and that it was racist. They also asked him to not wear it when he was with them and he refused because it was special to him and his father gave it to him. Olivia then told him to stop wearing it and he eventually agreed (Olivia told me that he stopped wearing the hat after this). A few weeks after this, I facetimed Olivia and Trevor was with her. She turned the camera so I could say hello to him, and he was wearing the hat. I talked to Olivia about this later and she told me that that was the first time he'd worn the hat in a while and it wasn't a big deal. Olivia has always been liberal and never racist, and I am uncomfortable that she was okay with him not only wearing the hat, but being with him while he had it on.
They dated for a little over 3 months in person before he joined the military (recently, Olivia told me that they actually met several months before she told everyone about him and that they actually dated for 6 months before he left). For the next two months in basic training, he was only able to use the phone for 15 minutes total once a week to talk to family and her. Throughout the different training programs he has completed he had sporadic and limited access to phones to communicate, and only in the past 6 months he has had access to his phone to facetime, text, and call (but sometimes he goes for a week or two without phone access). Olivia told me that they wrote letters during the time he didn't have consistent phone access. **I don't think that this is odd, I understand the military limits phone usage, etc., but I don't think they have been able to have an "average" long-distance relationship**
Last year, Olivia drove to GA to visit Trevor the weekend before Valentine's day. He had plans for them to take a pottery class, go on a hike, and have dinner at a nice restaurant. The day she got there, Trevor's barracks had their off-base privileges revoked because one of the guys had contraband. She would still be able to visit him on base though. Somehow, Trevor was able to get off base for long periods of time to her hotel, but unable to do the other activities he had planned for them.
In the past year, Olivia told me that she and Trevor were going to immediately marry when she got to WA so that they could move in together because they had to be married to live together anywhere. I and our dad- who was in the military- told her several times that this was not true, but she insisted it was. Then, his barracks were given an allowance to live off base in apartments because the barracks were being renovated/ rebuilt, so she backed off on the idea of getting married immediately after several long conversations with me. She is still insistent on moving in with Trevor, who lives with a roommate, when she moves to WA.
Some background on Olivia:
Olivia has ADHD and anxiety, and struggled particularly badly with the anxiety/ some depression after being broken up with by the boyfriend she dated before Trevor (he broke it off very abruptly, told her he just didn't love her anymore with no previous indications). Olivia is very pretty (objectively, not just because she's my sister), but had bad acne that she ended up going on accutane for at the time she started dating Trevor and was very insecure about it. She had also decided to not go to medical school, and pursue nursing instead around the same time she met Trevor. This was a very upsetting decision for her because she had been taking very hard courses and was burnt out but had told everyone she was going to be a doctor and thought that she would be letting us down by switching paths. Also around the time she started seeing Trevor, Olivia began being very cruel towards our mother (our mother had been borderline emotionally abusive in the past, but Olivia and I were both in college by then and fixing our relationships with her. She has been much better recently and Olivia and I believe that she had some mental health struggles that went unchecked that contributed). Now, several years later, Olivia told our family that she had acted like that because she was rpd by a friend of her ex-boyfriend's after her ex broke up with her. This person also gave her an STD.
I always believe people who say they have been S A'd, and we believed Olivia when she first told us, but some things have come to light that make me and my family question that. Right after Olivia and her ex broke up, Olivia told our cousin that she had gone out with one of his friends and had revenge/ breakup sex with him because he had also been dumped recently. Once my cousin told me this, I remembered that Olivia had told me about a guy she had a one night stand with after she was dumped. She showed me a picture of him, talked about how cute he was, etc. (no distress whatsoever). I know sometimes people behave in ways you wouldn't expect when a traumatic event occurs to them, but I really don't understand how or why Olivia would brag about this guy if he really did S A her.
Three months ago, Olivia was arrested for stealing a set of sheets from Walmart (incidentally, right before Trevor came to visit her on leave). She used the self check-out and only bought a small $5 item and the sheets. She held both in one hand and scanned each side because she had a cut on the other hand and was holding her wallet with it. She saw a 5 in front of the total number and thought it looked right because the total should have been about $50, paid, didn't get a receipt, and walked out. An employee at the door asked to see a receipt, which Olivia didn't have, so she pulled up her transaction history on her phone to show she had paid. At this point, the employee called the police and took Olivia into an office, where she was questioned and charged with shoplifting. (Olivia can get very emotional and probably got upset when the police questioned her, which may have led them to believe she was lying). Luckily, Olivia has managed to get the charges expunged, but the process is still ongoing. Because of her ADHD, if anyone genuinely made this mistake, I would believe it from her, but Olivia has been improving a lot on organization and being more attentive recently. It is extremely uncharacteristic of her to steal- she was honest to a fault as kids- she would break down from guilt and admit things to our parents that we would have gotten away with if she hadn't said anything.
Right now, my parents have met Trevor twice in person, and I've met him once in person and several times in passing over facetime. I personally don't think that Trevor seems to keep up with my sister or that they make each other shine, and that opinion is shared with family friends and family that have met Trevor. Olivia doesn't mention Trevor in front of our parents often because his name has become a topic of contention and argument between them. My parents don't think Trevor is right for Olivia. She has almost 2 college degrees and plans to become a nurse practitioner in the future, and he hasn't finished college and doesn't seem to have any drive to do so. Olivia is also well traveled and enjoys going to museums, concerts, etc., while Trevor has lived in rural FL his whole life (this is not Trevor's fault, and I don't think he is a lesser person because of it, but I don't see a lot of common ground between them). Trevor has not seemed very well spoken when I have talked to him and I just don't see a lot of qualities in him that Olivia values.
If you've gotten this far, I just don't know what to do. Olivia and my parents have a huge rift in their relationship right now and any mention of Trevor, with her around or not, explodes into a huge argument, discussion, or just icy silence. I want Olivia to be able to talk to me about him, and we are able to discuss things much better than she is with our parents. My parents have also started asking me about Olivia and Trevor because they know Olivia shares more with me, and it makes me uncomfortable because I don't want to betray Olivia's trust, but I'm also very worried about her. I know I can't control her actions and I'm having a really hard time trying to balance supporting Olivia but not supporting the relationship (I'm not going to lie to her about how I feel, but I don't want her to feel alienated or unloved by our family, because that is NOT the case). I also think that Olivia is romanticizing the fact that our parents don't like him because my father's parents had a rift with him over our mother when we were very young (this is a whole other story, but basically, his parents always favored his sister, his sister got (I think) jealous when he did well for himself and married my mother, who his parents initially likes, and she made up rumors/lies about my mother that turned his parents against her (this was way before our mother's suspected mental health struggles, which occured when Olivia and I were in middle/high school).
Please share any thoughts you have on the situation (am I reading too into things, is this not as bad as I think it is?), and any advice you have on navigating the relationships.

This is a really long story with lots of context so I'll do my best to organize it into current situation, then his backstory and hers. I'm also not using real names or specific locations for any of this to try and keep this private. This also has some contradicting stories and because of how their relationship is structured relies mostly on information I have gotten from my sister, so I'm telling you the story I got from her first and then adding in what I've found out. I'll try to tell this as unbiased as I can but it's been a huge issue in my family for a long time now and that's a little difficult for me to do.
My sister (Olivia, 24F) has been dating this guy (Trevor, 25M) since 2021. When they started dating, she talked about him fairly often, sent a few pictures of them, ect., but then after a month she stopped mentioning him/ was cagey when we (me and my mom mostly) asked how he was so we assumed it just hadn't worked out. Then two months later she insisted that my parents and I all come to visit her college to meet Trevor before he went into the Army (she lived several hours away from my parents and several hours from my college, so I had to get a bus ticket and my parents had to get a hotel room to do this. We only met him once for dinner). Now they've been dating long distance for three years after a three month in-person relationship. She is in nursing school and is planning on moving across the country (literally opposite corners of the map) to live with him and is not applying to any residency programs outside of the Army base area (limiting her choices a LOT from her original goals and narrowing employment opportunities).
Olivia met Trevor on several dating apps, matched with him, but didn't really want to go out with him. He was really persistent, so her friend convinced her to go out with him. She lied about the way they met to our parents and told them they met at the gym through a mutual friend (she lied to me about this at first too and told me the truth about 3 months after they started dating). At the time, Trevor was working as a used car salesman and living at home (~45 min. away from Olivia's school in a rural area) because his sports scholarship had been dropped before his Senior year due to covid at the college he had been attending out of state. The university was unaccredited (I later did some internet stalking and found out it was accredited), so his credits would not transfer and he would have to start over. He was saving up money to attend school in state at the large college Olivia attended so he could go back to school. **Our state has crazy low tuition costs in-state and a full-tuition scholarship program for good high school GPA and SAT scores. There was also a "feeder" community college that had half the cost per credit hour that a lot of people would go to before the larger university if they didn't get in straight out of high school.**
Olivia told me that Trevor had applied to her college and not gotten in (she later told me he HAD gotten in but been unable to afford tuition). Either way, he decided to join the Army because his father had been in the Army. The Army would take his credit hours and he would be able to finish his degree during his 5 year contract or use the GI bill once he got out. **She is comparing the situation to our father, who joined the Army directly out of high school and used the GI bill to go to college after his 2 year contract because his parents wouldn't pay for school. He was a medic in the military, worked as an EMT through college, and then went to nursing school.** The original plan was that Trevor would be a Green Beret (special forces, linking the training pipeline here: https://www.reddit.com/greenberets/comments/xwdbta/current_sf_pipeline_correct_me_if_im_wrong/ ), he completed basic training and and got several months through the NC training before failing the running portion of a physical by about 10 seconds and being dropped from the selection process. He then decided that he wanted to be a Ranger (another elite position). He got sent back to GA, then to the Ranger school base in WA (it took a couple of months before he was sent to WA). Again, he got partway through the training before failing the running portion of a physical by a few seconds. He is now not sure if he will be continuing Ranger school (failing the physical means no, but commanders may pass him anyways if they think he should continue). For a while, Trevor told Olivia that he might not stay at the base in WA if he wasn't in Ranger school and there were a variety of different bases he could be sent to, including somewhere in Italy, so she wasn't sure where to look for jobs. In the past month, Trevor told Olivia that he would likely stay in WA regardless of the Ranger school results.
Through this all, Olivia has visited Trevor at the different military bases countless times, driving from as far as south FL to NC and putting over 30,000 miles on a brand new car over the course of the 1.5 years she's owned it. Before she had the car, she paid for plane tickets to see him and hotels whenever she visited. At the time, she told me that he was paying for all of these trips because he was unable to visit her, was making an income that wasn't being spent, and she was working to save for nursing school and later was living off of student loans and savings during nursing school. She later admitted to me that she had paid for almost all of the expenses except for food when they ate out together and part of a hotel room one weekend.
A few odd things (to me) between Olivia and Trevor over the course of their relationship:
About a month into their relationship, Trevor got Olivia an over $300 christmas gift. He has not gotten her anything nearly that expensive since, and hasn't sent flowers for things like her college graduation or a severe emergency surgery she had last year. I don't care about monetary value or sending flowers, but I do think it is odd that he spent so much before moving away when he ostensibly didn't have much money, but now that he has an income and military sign-on bonus, he has not spent that much again.
Trevor's father left Trevor, his siblings, and his mother, but Trevor has a hat that his father gave him that he wore often. The hat says "Red Man" across the top of a picture of a Native American man wearing a feathered headdress. He has worn this hat several times around Olivia's friends and they told him they didn't like it and that it was racist. They also asked him to not wear it when he was with them and he refused because it was special to him and his father gave it to him. Olivia then told him to stop wearing it and he eventually agreed (Olivia told me that he stopped wearing the hat after this). A few weeks after this, I facetimed Olivia and Trevor was with her. She turned the camera so I could say hello to him, and he was wearing the hat. I talked to Olivia about this later and she told me that that was the first time he'd worn the hat in a while and it wasn't a big deal. Olivia has always been liberal and never racist, and I am uncomfortable that she was okay with him not only wearing the hat, but being with him while he had it on.
They dated for a little over 3 months in person before he joined the military (recently, Olivia told me that they actually met several months before she told everyone about him and that they actually dated for 6 months before he left). For the next two months in basic training, he was only able to use the phone for 15 minutes total once a week to talk to family and her. Throughout the different training programs he has completed he had sporadic and limited access to phones to communicate, and only in the past 6 months he has had access to his phone to facetime, text, and call (but sometimes he goes for a week or two without phone access). Olivia told me that they wrote letters during the time he didn't have consistent phone access. **I don't think that this is odd, I understand the military limits phone usage, etc., but I don't think they have been able to have an "average" long-distance relationship**
Last year, Olivia drove to GA to visit Trevor the weekend before Valentine's day. He had plans for them to take a pottery class, go on a hike, and have dinner at a nice restaurant. The day she got there, Trevor's barracks had their off-base privileges revoked because one of the guys had contraband. She would still be able to visit him on base though. Somehow, Trevor was able to get off base for long periods of time to her hotel, but unable to do the other activities he had planned for them.
In the past year, Olivia told me that she and Trevor were going to immediately marry when she got to WA so that they could move in together because they had to be married to live together anywhere. I and our dad- who was in the military- told her several times that this was not true, but she insisted it was. Then, his barracks were given an allowance to live off base in apartments because the barracks were being renovated/ rebuilt, so she backed off on the idea of getting married immediately after several long conversations with me. She is still insistent on moving in with Trevor, who lives with a roommate, when she moves to WA.
Some background on Olivia:
Olivia has ADHD and anxiety, and struggled particularly badly with the anxiety/ some depression after being broken up with by the boyfriend she dated before Trevor (he broke it off very abruptly, told her he just didn't love her anymore with no previous indications). Olivia is very pretty (objectively, not just because she's my sister), but had bad acne that she ended up going on accutane for at the time she started dating Trevor and was very insecure about it. She had also decided to not go to medical school, and pursue nursing instead around the same time she met Trevor. This was a very upsetting decision for her because she had been taking very hard courses and was burnt out but had told everyone she was going to be a doctor and thought that she would be letting us down by switching paths. Also around the time she started seeing Trevor, Olivia began being very cruel towards our mother (our mother had been borderline emotionally abusive in the past, but Olivia and I were both in college by then and fixing our relationships with her. She has been much better recently and Olivia and I believe that she had some mental health struggles that went unchecked that contributed). Now, several years later, Olivia told our family that she had acted like that because she was raped by a friend of her ex-boyfriend's after her ex broke up with her. This person also gave her an STD.
I always believe people who say they have been sexually assaulted, abused, or harassed, and we believed Olivia when she first told us, but some things have come to light that make me and my family question that. Right after Olivia and her ex broke up, Olivia told our cousin that she had gone out with one of his friends and had revenge/ breakup sex with him because he had also been dumped recently. Once my cousin told me this, I remembered that Olivia had told me about a guy she had a one night stand with after she was dumped. She showed me a picture of him, talked about how cute he was, etc. (no distress whatsoever). I know sometimes people behave in ways you wouldn't expect when a traumatic event occurs to them, but I really don't understand how or why Olivia would brag about this guy if he really did sexually assault her.
Three months ago, Olivia was arrested for stealing a set of sheets from Walmart. She used the self check-out and only bought a small $5 item and the sheets. She held both in one hand and scanned each side because she had a cut on the other hand and was holding her wallet with it. She saw a 5 in front of the total number and thought it looked right because the total should have been about $50, paid, didn't get a receipt, and walked out. An employee at the door asked to see a receipt, which Olivia didn't have, so she pulled up her transaction history on her phone to show she had paid. At this point, the employee called the police and took Olivia into an office, where she was questioned and charged with shoplifting. (Olivia can get very emotional and probably got upset when the police questioned her, which may have led them to believe she was lying). Luckily, Olivia has managed to get the charges expunged, but the process is still ongoing. Because of her ADHD, if anyone genuinely made this mistake, I would believe it from her, but Olivia has been improving a lot on organization and being more attentive recently. It is extremely uncharacteristic of her to steal- she was honest to a fault as kids- she would break down from guilt and admit things to our parents that we would have gotten away with if she hadn't said anything.
Right now, my parents have met Trevor twice in person, and I've met him once in person and several times in passing over facetime. I personally don't think that Trevor seems to keep up with my sister or that they make each other shine, and that opinion is shared with family friends and family that have met Trevor. Olivia doesn't mention Trevor in front of our parents often because his name has become a topic of contention and argument between them. My parents don't think Trevor is right for Olivia. She has almost 2 college degrees and plans to become a nurse practitioner in the future, and he hasn't finished college and doesn't seem to have any drive to do so. Olivia is also well traveled and enjoys going to museums, concerts, etc., while Trevor has lived in rural FL his whole life (this is not Trevor's fault, and I don't think he is a lesser person because of it, but I don't see a lot of common ground between them). Trevor has not seemed very well spoken when I have talked to him and I just don't see a lot of qualities in him that Olivia values.
If you've gotten this far, I just don't know what to do. Olivia and my parents have a huge rift in their relationship right now and any mention of Trevor, with her around or not, explodes into a huge argument, discussion, or just icy silence. I want Olivia to be able to talk to me about him, and we are able to discuss things much better than she is with our parents. My parents have also started asking me about Olivia and Trevor because they know Olivia shares more with me, and it makes me uncomfortable because I don't want to betray Olivia's trust, but I'm also very worried about her. I know I can't control her actions and I'm having a really hard time trying to balance supporting Olivia but not supporting the relationship (I'm not going to lie to her about how I feel, but I don't want her to feel alienated or unloved by our family, because that is NOT the case). I also think that Olivia is romanticizing the fact that our parents don't like him because my father's parents had a rift with him over our mother when we were very young (this is a whole other story, but basically, his parents always favored his sister, his sister got (I think) jealous when he did well for himself and married my mother, who his parents initially likes, and she made up rumors/lies about my mother that turned his parents against her (this was way before our mother's suspected mental health struggles, which occured when Olivia and I were in middle/high school).
Please share any thoughts you have on the situation (am I reading too into things, is this not as bad as I think it is?), and any advice you have on navigating the relationships.

(im writing this on my phone and on a throwaway so i dont care about any grammar or spelling mistakes… sorry!!)
So, I (19F) feel like I'm going crazy because I've been seeing the same guy every year since the 6th grade.
He transferred to my elementary at the end of the school year, so I never got to know him.
For the 7th grade I went to a charter school that was also pretty obscure, miles away from my elementary and only had about 500 students from grades 7-12.
Imagine my shock when I see this guy in my class two months later... weird! But okay... maybe it's a coincidence? I go through my 7th-grade year and transfer to a junior high! Don't see him anywhere, so I'm thinking I'm finally free, right? Wrong... he transfers about six months before school ends... okay, getting a tiny bit weirder now!
Keep in mind, I've never had a conversation with this dude, but he's literally everywhere???
So after junior high, I move onto high school and proceed as normal! Don't see him anywhere for two years until one day I'm taking the bus back home... why is he in the seat right next to me, y'all... I'm flabbergasted at this point. Like, it's been four years... so after that, I'm thinking to myself, 'Surely this can't be a silky coinkydink, right?'
I get over my newfound paranoia and go to college last year, right? Why, out of the corner of my eye, do I see this man AGAIN boarding the bus I was going to take... now I'm actually tweaking out because why is this happening? I’m just wondering if he’s thinking the same thing as me? Am I insane??? Like, I'm so confused...

My uncle recently passed, and I had a chance to quickly scavenge through our childhood home to retrieve some belongings—both his and mine. Amongst a collection of Hot Wheels, this little guy stood out. Identified as a ‘HAJI Japan’ tin school bus, my rather limited detective work led me to listings of it on eBay, yet none provided a clear date as to when it was made.
Isn’t it the cutest? I’d love to learn more about this little guy! Does anyone know anything about its history or about HAJI, the company I presume manufactured it? Thanks a bunch!

Me and my friend, Jessie have been friends for a few months. And during those few months, she's definitely earned the spot as my best friend. Me and her are also in a friend group which consist of four other girls. I love them all equally, just Jessie holds a different spot in my heart y'know? The only problem is that I don't think I'm Jessie's "best friend." I don't really mind that but the girl she considers her best friend, is my other friend, Chloe. Me and Chloe have been friends longer than anyone else in the group. But Jessie and Chloe are closed than anyone else in the group too. When I just hang out with both of them alone, I find myself being left out and I feel like a terrible person because of it. For example, we were on a school bus together and the three of us are in a seat. I'm on the outside, Jessie in the middle, and Chloe is by the window. On the way to school, Jessie puts her hand above her and lays it on the top of the seat in front of us (if that makes any sense), making a small barrier between me and her. She turns her body to Chloe whilst her hand is on the top of the seat. I try to engage in conversation, but her and Chloe are already in one. I just sit there in silence as they continue on. Jessie takes her phone out with the hand that isnt on the seat and records Chloe and her alone, and taking a snap of her. And I'm not trying to make that a big deal, but I mean c'mon. Along with all this, we have a holiday world trip for our school and our friendgroup is going minus one person. Which gives us a total of five girls, and that's an odd number. And for some reason, Jessie likes to make that a big deal and freak out over it and says she's only riding with Chloe because "she doesn't want to get left out." And in my opinion, thats stupid, but I don't argue with her. The trip is this Thursday, and the night of Jessie is spending the night at Chloe's. Chloe and I have been friends for over a year, but never once have we ever hung outside of school. So it just makes me wonder what makes me so different from Jessie y'know? Another thing is that I told Jessie we should have a sleepover with Chloe so it's the three of us. Then she immediately says no and asks me why not the whole group. At that point I didn't take the whole group in consideration and also it would probably be impossible for the six of us to even have a sleepover because I mean, there's six of us yknow? And then Jessie suggests that we should have a sleepover of me, Chloe, Jessie, and our other friend, Ash. I love Ash and I think that's a great idea, but I also just want a sleepover with Chloe and Jessie too. I want to confront the two of them about it, but I don't know how. Any advice? Also am I in the wrong for feeling this way?

Anybody heard about this?
I got my truck stuck in a mudhole on the West side of Lake Erling. Walked a bit until I found a grizzled old man who agreed to help me recover my vehicle.
We succeeded... eventually. Afterward, covered in mud and exhausted the old man told me a local legend.
So it goes, a Cajun car mechanic was on the run from the police after embezzling a modest sum from a car dealership in Louisiana. He fled North. The authorities caught up to him on the banks of Lake Erling. Instead of being captured he walked into the muddy water, chanting quietly.
It's unclear exactly what the fugitive was saying as he marched into the lake, but multiple first-hand accounts report hearing "By the law of the claw". The body was never found.
The old fella that helped recover my truck swore that the the man is still under that lake. Living in the mud, but no longer a man.
The vengeful spirit now inhabits a crayfish the size of a school bus. He lies waiting in the mud, until an unlucky motorist wakens his ire, grabbing the poor souls vehicle and holding tight.
Anyway cool story. Wondering if anybody knows anything about this?

Hi everyone! Just wanted to say congrats to all the grads of 2024! It would have been me, but I am madly in LOVE with this one dude who I truly believe is my soulmate <3 Okay Hear me out!
I could tell we had something during the school year. The way he looked as if he saw a ghost everytime we bumped into each other and ran away screaming to the point where he hijacked an LX bus just to get away from me…. he’s so shy😫 him kissing other girls right in front of me just to make me see what a catch he is??? There was a time where he took me to CAPS for some reason and disappeared. I just stood there gushing over the place because I assumed it is where he will soon propose to me one day. I also got a job on campus just to work with him but he quit the next day. not sure why. perhaps to earn some more money elsewhere for our future?
This took a lot of thinking of course. For the sake of the universe obviously wanting us to be together, I decided to delay my graduation year just so me and him can graduate together. i need all my grad pics with this man. Not sure how I am going to pay these extra thousands of dollars off, but nothing can stop the power of love 🥰 I am willing to go in debt for my lover boy in STEM 🥰

TRIGGER WARNING TRIGGER WARNING TRIGGER WARNING ⛔️ ⚠️
SPEAKING ON SENSITIVE TOPICS AND ADD*****n
AITA: so to give some context. I have a friend from early high school. We have been friends sense we were 14 or so. We made friends over a guy cheating on us, he had slept with her, and I around our sophomore year and cheated on me. Ever since we were inseparable. There were a few instances, though where it seemed like she was purposefully, trying to go out for people that I would date. Fast forward to adulthood. We both struggled with Opat dependency. She had told me she was sober and came to visit, but indeed was not. At this time I was sober. And just early in my recovery.
I had a entire 6 month set back. Absolutely made my life worst. And of course part of that is my own actions aswell. Falling into peer pressure and temptation. And during this time she had convinced me to allow her to live in our spare room. Eventually she randomly disappears with some guy for days on end, and refuses to respond to me. We pack all her stuff up and when we’re packing I find a note she wrote to my fiancé (now husband) about how she felt she wouldn’t be able to control herself around him and found it very tempting but wrapped it up with “I hope she’s okay”.
This was a immediate kick out as u can imagine. We talked it out, as she’s halfway across the states now claiming to be getting help and reuniting with her son. But here’s the issue, she asked me a few weeks ago to come pick her up from the airport because she has to fight a case in my state. She told me to pick her up Tuesday night at 8 PM. And then in the weeks following messages me and lets me know that’s she’s talking to my baby daddy, “just as friends though”…. (He b*at me up when we broke up🤦🏼‍♀️) . I drop it and say whatever that’s just her atp.
I get to sitting around thinking and start to feel like I’m being used a bit. I’ve offered for her to stay in my house in the past, and I felt like she tempted my sobriety and used me, along with tried to fk my husband. she got involved with one of my best friends, and he ended up dying from an ose, and I feel like that’s where some resentment is lying as well. He was only 20 and never had d* interests before hand.
She messaged me today and said that she’s coming today at 9 PM. I asked her well I thought you were coming on Tuesday and she said no she was coming Monday (after weeks of saying Tuesday?) ¿? She wants me to drive her two hours to her court date. which was was let known late aswell. Here’s the thing…. I feel like I’m going to be manipulated. She hasn’t told me where she’s going to stay or how she plans to get there other than saying she just wanted me to pick her up from the airport. She claimed to be sober and have gas money.
Combining all these experiences together I started to feel more and more sick today about having to pick her up. I’ve worked HARD to stay sober and I don’t feel comfortable opening that door. I also don’t feel comfortable not having any plan whatsoever other than “I’m suppose to pick her up” and I feel majorly uncomfortable with the fact that A. IF she was sober her family could pick her up and B. She couldn’t even accurately give me the dates she was flying in which makes me think she is using.
I didn’t pick her up. I blocked her in fact. But now I feel like a dick head leading her on that I was going to pick her up. But she did claim to have gas money which is uber, bus, or other ride money. So it’s not like she’s stranded stranded. But in the whole grand scheme of things, I feel like I’m protecting my peace and my household. My husband and I JUST got married yesterday and she’s wanting to come in our house or catch a ride with us during my honeymoon. I just dont feel okay about this situation at all tbh. I feel bad, but I don’t in a sense because I’m protecting my household, my self, my husband, my kids. But I do feel like a AH.
Idk. My sponsor always tells me it’s a hard feeling to put a boundary down but ur never in the wrong for protecting yourself. But idk.
In the grand scheme of things I just can’t over look all of this. I think of my friend who ov** do**** with her everyday. He’s gone. He will never get his life back. And my babies need their mom. But I’ve also been that human that’s needed help…. A extra reach. A uplift.
So AITA?
Feel free to give it to me, i lowkey feel shitty for not picking her up because I said I would. But yk the human brain.
EDIT: I’ve edited this and censored every possible word that could be offensive or triggering.