I (32 m) was waiting to cross the road at the SNDT canal when I noticed a lady (approximately 80 f) with a spinal deformity, Bell’s palsy and left sided hemiparesis (yes I have a MD in radiodiagnosis). She happened to be carrying a heavy bag full of essentials hinged on two fingers, so heavy that it was causing ajji to tilt towards the left. Needless to say I instantly jogged towards her and offered to help, almost swooping down to grab the bag but I was met with a grunt , a shrug and strong dismissal. Even though I’m born and raised on Prabhat road I was taken a back by Ajji’s severity and meekly backed off. I retreated to the point of crossing and waited for her to arrive. I felt stopping the traffic might offend her so I intentionally walked slowly to break down the flow of traffic until she reached the other side of the road.(where the 1st Kalyan bhel and the Fish curry rice was) At this point I was going left while she was going right and I felt her looking at me. I turned back to have her say “Roj Madat karnar nasheel take, eka divsaache upkaar nako tujhe”. I left the interaction with mixed emotions but chiefly those of respect for the old timer. (This might have been a redundant read for most but I’ve taken quite a few lessons from this - all positive)

[First] [Previous] [Next]
Minutes feel like entire hours while I wait for GalaxyTaco to return, and my anxiety is just mounting up like crazy! So instead of becoming a victim of my own fear, I decide to take a moment to explore the forum and see what I can find that's interesting!

The Sleeper section is by far the most active, with people commenting on their daily lives, talking about media, food and experiences in general. It’s so casual it almost makes me feel nostalgic for the good ol’ days!

I am… surprised. Mages watch anime too? I guess that makes sense, as magic is usually viewed as an intellectual endeavor, and it is not rare for intellectuals to have this sorta hobby.

“They even have an old timer section, for old timers like you.”

What? Old timer!? I am 21!

“Alright then, youngster. What anime is popular right now?”

Chlorine is pretty popular!

“That’s one of the Big Three and won’t stop being popular for a while, not to mention it’s all filler these days, that’s cheating.”

Alright then, big baby. How about Soul Devourer?

“That ended three years ago.”

What!? No it didn’t!

What about Ouran??

“Five years ago.”

Higurashi?

“Six.”

Lucky Channel?!

“Five.”

MEDUKA MEGUKA??

“Oh that one’s pretty new actually. That one was last year.”

Alright then smart guy, what is airing right now then!?

“Destiny/Zero, Girls and Tanks, Kitty Tale Black, Moon Brothers…”

What in the hell are any of those!?

“If you don’t know, I know even less! Idiot!”

I guess I am a bit of an old fashioned weeb.

“We are getting distracted. Remember what we are here for.”

Right! The Translation section! It’s rather unused, compared to the Sleeper side of it all. There are a few active translation topics but all of them seem to be focused on actual, current languages. Sure, there are a few in old Helenian and Latin but the others are surprisingly modern. Thereare some in Wohlian that immediately get my attention, but they seem like finished works.

Mostly directed by that ‘souseiseki’ bitch.

“Don’t waste time thinking of her. Focus on what you can learn from the books themselves!”

That is a good point. Once they are fully translated, the material is left available for anyone to take it! So I immediately go for the ones in Wohlian and Dobrand.

There are only five texts available, biographies all of them… except for what looks like a flier.

‘El Arte del Contrahechizo’ it read in Hesperian, ‘The Art of Counterspell’ in Dobrand. It apparently was an advertisement for a short lived ‘Combat Spell Course’ in Hesperia? Closed by the ‘Brotherhood’ for ‘breaking the sanctity of the secret’. Maybe this ‘Brotherhood’ is somewhat related to the cloaks.

Nevertheless, there is something in the flier that interests me: a Symbol!
Rune 6
I immediately start looking for it in the book… and what I find was overwhelming. This has to be the single most used symbol I’ve seen so far! It is in a lot of combined words, almost never on its own… but after keeping my eyes narrowed for a while, I find it.

Jo

As in “Hoh” or as in “Yo”? Bah, I guess I’ll find that out later, when I can actually start experimenting on my own.

Ah, damn it that’s right! I do need to go investigate the library! It’s huge too…

Hmm… What if I made a trip out of it?

The library closes at 12 for students, but if you stay inside you can spend the night working there! I could spend all night surrounded by books, coffee and the sandwiches some people sell there…

“That could mess with your sleeping schedule a bit…”

“Not to mention how useless the whole endeavor can be. What if you don’t find the damn golden symbol, huh?”

Won’t know if I try. This will be my last night staying up, I promise!

“Hmmmn… well, if you are sure about it.”

Yes!

Feeling energy surging through my body again, I immediately get up again and look for clothes, fishing for some cash and then trotting out of my room… only to be stopped by that Saints damned door again.

I swear, every time I see it’s worse. It becomes more and more ominous with each attempt to pass through it. I really, really have been going out too much these days, huh…?

“...I better talk with GalaxyTaco first, then I can go to the library.”

“Coward.”

“I can’t talk to them without the TER anyways.”

Walking back to the computer, I internally beg for GalaxyTaco to not have appeared on my contact list yet… but alas, fate is always working against me. There he is, right there. Well, at least I can solve this quickly and still get out in time… Maybe.

xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx has begun messaging GalaxyTaco to your rescue!
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: H-Hey!

I immediately cringe at myself for that written hesitation. Damn it, keep the emotions inside! Why must I be like this!?

xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: This is Tav, you know, from the forum? n.ñ
GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: oh hey dude! nice, I was wondering who the hell was this lol
GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: ok, now we can talk proper.
GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: so… you just found the link somewhere, didn’t you?
GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: unless I’m totally wrong and you were just referred by some cold mf

Alright. This is it… where do I go from here? I can’t exactly lie my way out of this without knowing much of the magical world. But that doesn’t mean I have to say all of the truth, right?

xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: …yeah u.u
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: I haven’t been Awake for a long time to be honest, and I found this link on a book I read at the local library.
GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: ahhhh shit.
GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: ok, that’s trouble
GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: do you have a teacher?
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: No u.u
GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: ok, you’re a bastard
GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: not to imply anything about your family dude, that’s just how we call mages without teachers.
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: Ok that’s kinda mean xD
GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: tell me about it.
GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: anyways, shit, uh…
GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: ok, do you know what an Elysium is?

I don’t. But can I just admit that? I mean… maybe I can tell him I know where to look for it?

“What are you, stupid!? He’s assuming you know jack shit! This is your chance to squeeze all the information! MILK IT!”

A-Ah! Right!

xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: No idea. I hope you don’t mean the other world? O.o
GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: nope.
GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: an Elysium is a safeground in a city, a place where mages can go and practice legally.
GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: shit, I hope you haven’t been doing magic around people right???
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: No no! O.o I swear!
GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: ok good.
GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: that’d get you in trouble with the Brotherhood in no time.
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: The Brotherhood? o.o
GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: The Brotherood of Black Pages.
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: Ominous… are they like, magic police? .-.
GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: sorta
GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: you wanna avoid them as much as you can, them black cloaks.
GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: I mean, you won’t be able to avoid them if you wanna get your license but, beyond that, avoid them.

Ok, that’s confirmation of a few suspicions. The Elysium is a place, I need to find that place, and the black cloaks/brotherhood were bad news, probably super strict or something like that. I am a ‘Bastard Mage’, still not very happy about the name, and I should look for instruction before I blow myself up!

xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: Can’t you teach me things? ;w; the meaning of these runes and stuff?
GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: sorry dude, I don’t have a teacher’s license
GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: but tell you what. I’ll get you something that will help you for sure!
GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: I just gotta talk to a few friends.
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: Oh okay! Good! n.n thank you so much for this, Gal
GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: hah, it’s no problem
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: Imma be outside of the TER for a while so, don’t talk to me about magics until I return, okay?
GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: arite, thanks for the heads up! gives me time to talk to Aoi and Mort
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: Ok I assume those are your friends!
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: I’ll be seeing you later!
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx has disconnected.

Alright.

No more excuses. I close my computer, take a deep breath and walk to my door. I try my best to ignore the shaking of my hand as I grab the knob and open up. The air in the hallways outside was cold, making me go back in, pick up my long coat and then right out I went again!

The descent in the elevator had never felt this slow…I am excited and nervous at the same time.

“This will be fun!”

“This will be a disaster. You’ll stay up for nothing, you hear me? Nothing.”

Taking a deep breath, I walk out of the elevator as it arrives at the first floor and wave at the night guard, stepping right out and checking my phone.

It’s already a quarter past eleven. I have time… but I may need to call a taxi.


Cities are completely different at night. I have never been an active resident of Party City or anything, but I have been in the streets at the high hours of night, at least back in my old town. I assumed stuff would be quiet here too in Saüle, but turns out I was completely wrong. There were people stumbling around the streets, ladies of the night smiling and parading themselves in some of the corners, a few college students clubbing and singing…

Only now I remember we are technically on vacation. Of course everyone is partying!

Drat, does that mean the library will be closed!?

“Too late to ask the cab to take you back home. No, you'll just have to freeze for a few hours.”

The taxi leaves me in front of the University’s main entrance. After paying and waving the guy away, I let out a deep sigh of relief when I see that the lights of the place are still on.

So either they leave the lights on all vacation or they are still open despite it all.

I try to jog along the dirt trail, straight for the library! But I quickly realize my body is simply not made for running. I still try to keep the pace, panting and gasping for air. Passing right by the Pharmaceutical Sciences building and the Biology building, feeling lucky that no one can see me fighting for my life like this.

The campus is gigantic, with many different buildings focused on the different sciences and disciplines taught at the University. The Library stands in the middle of it all, a perfectly square, five story building comfortably constructed on a plateau and looking over the entire campus. As cool and impressive as that is, it also meant a long climb a massive set of stairs…

“Saints damn it all…”

It’s a miserable jog, but eventually, I make it to the gates before the Librarian closes. An ancient lady of dark skin and thin white hair, eternally dressed in a black, long dress.

“Hmph. Right on time, night owl.” She says with a mix of annoyance and playfulness in her tone, turning her back on me as soon as she closed the door. “Do not run like that inside.”

Still recovering my breath, I just nod and walk towards the machines that scan your credentials. I fish my wallet out of my pockets, scan my old card, and then walk straight in, looking around the main hall with a tired smile. Ah yes… I've always felt more at ease in libraries and the like, especially when there are no crowds of people around. Right now I could see only a few furtive shadows sliding around, and no sandwich sellers at all! With some luck, the librarian will try to gain a few extra Empires by selling stuff, but that will have to wait.
Right now, we are back on the hunt for the Golden Symbol! I need to focus all of my strength on finding it this time, because if they really want it to be both private and easy to find, it has to be here.

Just looking for samples/small amounts for now! Would prefer bundles to save on shipping.
Fyrrinae
Convergence Zone, Under the moonrise
Andromedas curse
Forest maiden, The conservatory, Tempestarii, Imp, Fairy circle, Lichen, The goblin market
Wylde Ivy
Blackberry lace, Green lady
Solstice Scents
After the rain, Cellar, Devils millhopper, During the rain, Night watcher, Morning room
Fantome
Olwyn, Kinmokusei
Alkemia
Aelfscyne, Afternoon delight alchemy, Arcanum experiment 6 2021, Aspara, Charming of the plough, Cidre d' Automne, Crown of violets, Dangerous peach, Falling Stars at Summer Solstice, Frondescence, Gaea, Green Witch, Lavender dreaming, Neroli vetiveria, Old books and fresh flowers, Peaches in the summer wind, Pear tree alchemy, Pi in the sky, Queen of hearts, Rites of spring, Seven watermelon suns, Summer dandelion, Temptation, The first dandelion, Under the elegant coconut palms, Vanille vert
Death and floral
Amy march, Autumn honey, Dunkaroos, Filled with the heat of a reckless summer, Painted pears, Swamp elixir, Sweet tea in the summer, Vienna waits for you, Watercolor summer, Buried beneath the shallow hay, Mall soft pretzel, Eight Minutes of Light and Heat Left When the Sun Dies, The deadly poppy field
Osmofolia
Blackwater lake, stratus, I and thou
Bpal
Dana o'shee
Possets
Dandelion fluff
Muthpunk olfactive
Changeling Dusk cherry puff Mossmallow puff Paper moon Strangeling
Nui cobalt
Yemaya, Hive mind, Submission, Fey touched, Social justice ranger, Fairy garden, Hive in the wild, First harvest: grain, Path of leaves, Second harvest: fruit, Corn maze, Hummingbird, Sugar glider, Copper fox, Golden retriever, Fennec fox
Coacoapink
Banana coconut cloud pie, Bedstraw smut, Berry iced tea, Beyond the goblin city, Black berry bliss, Coconut, Creamsicle, Creme bouquet, Fairytale, Fear of cemeteries, Goblin market, Grapefruit sugar, June wedding, Lavender honey macaroons, Mansion, Mother of apples, October in umbria, Raspberry, Ruby Sand beach, Southern grace, Spring fever, Sugared violets, Sweet dreams, Thunder AF, White Chocolate-Covered pretzels
Haus of Gloi
Daffodils and dandelions, White chocolate & matcha, Essence of the forest, Cottage flowers, Elderflower lemonade, Zephyr, Lemondrop, Peach pear soda, Pineapple mango soda, Blueberry pomegranate soda, Peach rings, Pink bubblegum, Olde cider haus, Samhain, Scarecrow, The briar path, Duir, His sweater, Honeysuckle lemon curd, Satyr
Hexennacht
Brightening the daybreak, Cloudbusting, Elemental, Fallen angel, Teenage dirtbag, The wicker man, Bellypopper, Bomb pop, Cereal marshmallows, Mossypeach, Never was a cornflake girl, Southern hospitali-tea, Sufganiyot, Purple rain

Hey y’all! Just got home from Welcome to Rockville 2024… what a crazy, wild, fun, and HOT weekend! I’m gonna just list out some tips for the festival for anyone that plans on going in the future and some tips for concerts/festivals in general!
everyone is different and this is based on my personal experiences at concerts and festivals. Some tips may be super obvious, but if you’re a first timer, it’s good to have a reminder! There is no guarantee all these tips will apply to you/be allowed at every/future festivals. Make sure to check festival/concert venue rules and regulations before you go

1. Keep an eye on the weather! The weather was hotter than I expected a couple days, and cooler other days. Make sure to pack some back up outfits and FL in May… expect anywhere from 70°-95°… with humidity the first day, it felt like over 100°. They also delayed doors one of the days because of possible thunderstorms. Download the WTR app to get alerts right away!
   
2. Lockers are lifesavers! Who wants to carry extra weight all day?! I splurged on a 4 day locker and am so happy I did. Great meet up spot when you’re with friends and get separated, can throw a towel and extra clothes and sunscreen in it and grab what you need when you need it. Wanna go in a pit or crowd surf? Toss everything in your locker. Don’t want to be bringing things in and out of the festival? Leave it in the locker overnight!
   
3. To avoid heat exhaustion and passing out, stay hydrated!! I did not drink any alcohol until sunset each day and drank lots of water during peak heat of the day. They ended up allowing hydro packs because it was so hot. I would bring one along just in case they say you can bring them in. I do not condone drugs but if you insist on taking them, be aware that Rockville had a police dog at gates and please be safe and don’t test your limits at a festival
   
4. More on bags and hydro packs… www.lunchboxpacks.com has clear bags with hydro packs. If they don’t allow the hydro pack, you can remove it. These bags have anti-theft zippers and pockets, and with all the reports of lost phones and other items being literally stolen out of pockets and bags, this bag really helped keep everything secure. For me, this bag passed through security with no issue. Side note, DO THIS AT YOUR OWN RISK if they haven’t announced letting hydro packs in, you can hide the bag and tube in your clothes, it’s all plastic and won’t set off an alarm.
   
5. List of helpful items to bring:
   

• Sunscreen (for my makeup lovers, I used a 50 SPF CC cream on my face so I could have some coverage and not get burnt or have a greasy face)
• Sanitizer
• Lip balm with SPF
• Wet wipes
• Tissues (literally will be breathing in dirt/sand and will get congested… blow occasionally)
• Sunglasses
• Bandaids (I had so many blisters from wearing Docs lol)
• Ear plugs
• Power bank/charging cables (lunchbox packs has a great power bank)
• Towel/light blanket (use to sit on the ground if you don’t wanna stand in the crowd or seating in tents is full)
• Extra shirt/bottoms (best to keep in locker. Some stages had a dude with a firehose spraying the crowd and I got drenched. Also one night it got cold and I was able to put a tee on over my bikini and I almost had a bodysuit malfunction another day so having shorts to put on helped)

1. Dress “code”: wear whatever you want (ladies, nips have to be covered!). I saw people covered head to toe, in comfy clothes, costumes, and people wearing pasties and thongs. Anything goes! They are strict on spikes… do NOT wear anything with spikes. They allowed small chain necklaces, but no thick chains… however, day 1, walking to the entrance of the security line I had thick chain necklaces on and the security guard at the entrance told me to hide them in my bag… I got them through that way and then put them on. It seems like once you get through security, they don’t care unless some issue arises from something you’re wearing/brought in.
   
2. Crowd safety! Careful in the pits! Remember the number one rule… if someone falls… PICK THEM UP. We are a family so let’s help each other stay safe. If you see someone acting up, tell security. If someone is stealing, tell security. If someone is about to/is passing out, get a medic. If you are near a pit and not in it, keep an eye on it so you don’t get knocked over. If someone comes at you, don’t freak out and shy away, just push them back in. If the pit is behind you, my best defense (I am a pretty small female so be careful with this one if you’re bigger) has been shoving my elbows back behind me to keep people from knocking me forward. Make sure you look back occasionally/pay attention to people around you because there will be an insane amount of crowd surfing… someone even went up in a wheelchair during Slipknot and ADTR told people to crowd surf on top of a crowd surfer… it got crazy and dangerous so STAY ALERT
   
3. Finding your way around… you will have slim to no reception. Keep an eye on landmarks… stages, sound booths, entrances, rides, lights, tents, food trucks, etc. this will help you navigate and set up meeting spots for when you’re with friends. Keep screenshots of the set times and circle what bands you are going to. Set your lock screen to a screenshot of a note with info if your phone is lost or stolen (number of friend/family to call if someone picks up your phone or police catch a thief, your name, etc.) and change home screen to a map of festival.
   
4. Food and drinks: look at all the food options before you pay… some booths give you a kiddie portion for $20+ and some give you more than a full size meal for $15. Try to eat proteins AND carbs since you will be walking a LOT. Protein is going to help with your muscles, while something with carbs will fill you up more so you don’t have to eat as much/often! The drinks are also pricey. The Heavy Tiki booth was definitely the best deal, frozen cocktails in a huge cup with a shot of dark rum on top… $22! Small mixed drinks were about $18.
   

Well if I think of anything else, I’ll add it to the comments or edit post! Rock on y’all!

PS5/Xbox crossplay Pve We also have ASE PS only.
🦖About us: We strive to have a great community where we can all have fun. We have forums for you to submit feedback and ideas so we grow and get better.
🆘️Tools: Commands to help save you from tricky situations, show who's online, and how much time you have for our decay settings.
🧹Map clean up and timers: Random structures like traps are auto cleaned once a week. Logging in on one map will refresh timers for all maps.
🌍Maps: The Island, The Island w/Npcs, Scorched Earth, Amissa, Forglar, and Temptress Island.
✅️Click search players servers to find us! Dedicated server. Non Nitrado Server.
🛒Shops: Admin Shop, and players market and trade tables to make selling your goods and dinos easy and fun.
🦅Starter kit includes: argy, saddle and paintbrush to color your argy.
The mods we have; -Griphons -Ceratosaurus - Better Green House -Automated Ark -S Dino Variants -Nanos Spyglass -Pelayoris Cryopods -Klingers Rustic Building -Nets -GameServerApp (Shop) -Floor n Wall Deco -Taxidermies -Marniis Hairstyles -Cliffans Clothing -Klingers Reinforced Concrete Building -Lady's Feast and Foods -Custom Color Sets -Acrocanthosaurus -Deinosuchus -Simple Trade -Simple Connected Tek 2.0
discord.gg/klowmassive

Me and Lila always carved dozens of jack o’ lanterns every October, so they’d absolutely saturate our lawn on Halloween night. It was our thing. But looking back on it, now that I’ve lost her, I just feel bad for the pumpkins. I almost relate to them, somehow. The way they were carved up, had everything of substance inside of them torn out, and left as hollow, rotting shells with forced smiles.
Needless to say, I didn’t cope with her death well. I didn’t want to cope with it. I wanted the world to drown in the black sludge of my grief. I loathed the people I saw going about their lives, unaware that the world had already ended the moment Lila died. The Earth shouldn’t keep spinning. Life shouldn’t go on. Not without her.
Even my relatives bringing me along on a trip to Kauai only made it worse. The most gorgeous place on Earth, and it made me sick with hatred. Nothing that beautiful deserved to exist if Lila wasn’t ever going to get to see it. It wasn’t fair.
I thought I’d never enjoy or care about anything again. Then I discovered media preservation.
It started with taking some of Lila’s old VHS tapes to a video repair place to fix some issues with the footage before it’s digitized. The job fascinated me. In a universe based on entropy, where everything inevitably fades away and is forgotten… restoring something lost is like snatching it from the jaws of death, right? Like flipping the bird to the universe and its so-called ‘natural order’. People die, but information doesn’t have to.
Now, it doesn’t matter how small — be it some god-awful plug-and-play licensed game, or a cereal commercial from 80’s — it’s my mission to recover it in as high a quality as I’m able, and make sure it’s freely available online for as long as possible.
A couple weeks ago, I came across a big haul. Four boxes of old VHS tapes offered up on E-Bay for dirt cheap. Most of the tapes were just recordings of Cheers episodes already preserved in higher qualities, but one Maxell E-240 caught my interest.
First of all, I’d never seen one so melted. Sure, sometimes they were left in an attic too long, and the colors and audio start to degrade. But this one looked like it had survived a house fire. It was covered in soot and the smell of smoke, and had the overall shape of a chocolate bar left out in the sun a little too long.
Second was the label, which read in neat sharpie: ᴇᴘɪꜱᴏᴅᴇ 4,679,329 ᴍᴀʀ 8 2035.
The casing was so disfigured, I had to bust it apart just pull out the tapes and respool them in a fresh cassette. I tried to iron out the creases in the tape as best I could, but I had no illusions about it accomplishing much — the mylar surface had been irreparably warped in places by whatever fire had half-melted the thing.
Imagine my despair at the sight of that dreaded ‘ɴᴏ ꜱɪɢɴᴀʟ’. I could clearly see the tape wasn’t blank, yet no amount of adjusting the tracking or trying different TVs or VCRs accomplished anything. Just as I was about to give up, though, the thing just suddenly started playing properly at the exact instant the clock struck 3 AM, as if it had only now decided to work. My all-nighter had paid off.
I didn’t dwell on the fact that this ‘miracle fix’ had been impossible. If I’d had any sense, I’d have torn the horrid thing out of my VCR and buried it beneath holy ground. Instead, fool I was, I sat down and watched.
At first, the thing seemed unwatchable. The audio was so distorted that the show’s theme song emerged as a low, crackling, staticky wail that made my head throb, and the logo was completely indistinguishable through the flickering and interference. I thought it was a lost cause for a moment. But then a figure appeared and cleared away the static, like Moses parting the Red Sea.
It was the sight of the show’s host that hooked me. He was just… perfect. Perfect in every way. I knew it just looking at him. Infinitely handsome and likable and charismatic, and he always said the exact perfect thing. The only issue is, I don’t remember a single thing about him now, in the same way you can’t remember a dream that seemed so clear to you while you were experiencing it. He just appears in my memory as this abstract blur in a sharp suit. Yet at the time, I was awestruck, even before he said a single word.
I can’t even remember a word he said. It was like he was speaking another language, one I felt as opposed to heard. I’ll try and transcribe it as best I can into words, but know that it’s only a pathetic imitation.
“... for another night of laughs, prizes, and fun for the whole family, with your host, #####!” I noticed that the audio and visual distortion seemed to suddenly intensify the instant he said his name, rendering it completely illegible. Idiot I was, I figured that was a coincidence. “Tonight is a night of celebration, folks, because thanks to the support of loyal viewers like you, we have just been approved for, get this: two hundred thousand more seasons!”
The “live studio audience” went wild with applause. I put that in scare quotes because, as far as I could tell, besides the host, the studio seemed completely empty. As if he was standing on a plain white stage that extended outwards into infinite darkness on all sides.
“For those just joining us, the game here is simple…” He explained that this was some sort of a trivia show. Every time a guest got an answer wrong, it brought them a little closer to some sort of unspecified ‘punishment’. And if they got it right? He smirked. “Well, they get to delay the inevitable.”
I wondered what he meant by ‘inevitable’. I didn’t have to wonder long.
The host gestured to a curtain that hadn’t been there moments ago, which raised to reveal a middle-aged man. You know the type — bushy mustache, gray hair, round-rimmed glasses. Kind of guy you’d have doing your plumbing. He couldn’t look any more out of place stood up and restrained in that — what the hell is that?
I recognized that metal coffin-looking thing from a medieval torture museum I went to once. The iron maiden. The lid hung open, countless long, needle-like blades poking inwards, threaten to poke a million new holes in him if it was shut.
His situation was not lost on him. “Where… where am I? What the hell is this!?”
“Oh, lucky guess!” The host ‘joked’. More canned laughter. “I know you always loved watching those trivia shows, Malcolm? Weren’t you always sitting there, grinding your teeth, seething that it wasn’t fair? That you should be the one up on stage, winning big?”
The man paused. Even he seemed mesmerized by the unreal perfection of the host before him. “I… this is a… game show?”
“All you have to do is answer a few questions! Think you can handle that, Malcolm?” He pulled out a cue card without waiting for an answer. “And our first question! What were you doing the night of February 18th, 1998?”
The man seemed baffled. “Just… sat on my couch watching the NFL, I think? I’m not sure how I’m supposed to remember —“
He let out a startled squeal as a horrid buzzer sounded. On cue, the lid slid a third of the way closed, making him flinch. “Oooh, I’m afraid that’s the wrong answer, Frank! But you know what? I’ll give you one more chance. What were you —“
“Following a girl home!” The man cried out. “F-from the bar. There, are you happy?”
“Cor-rect!” The canned audience began cheering! “Such honesty! Now, our second question: just what were you carrying while you followed her?”
He hesitated for a little too long. And then the buzzer sounded again, and the lid slid so near to closing that its blades began poking uncomfortably against his skin. He tried to press himself against the back of the maiden as well as his restraints would allow. “Jesus! Okay! A knife, a knife!”
“Awww, if only you’d said that just a second earlier!” Another big question. “Our third question: why, Malcolm? Why did you do it?”
That set Malcolm off. He started thrashing, clawing, screaming. “Let me out of this thing, you maniac! You can’t do this to me! Do you know who I am? Is this some sort of sick joke? My lawyers will have your head for this, you—“
And then the buzzer. All of a sudden, the lid slammed shut full-force, and the man was utterly silenced save for an unnatural, drawn-out wheeze. “Another wrong answer, Malcolm! I’m afraid I was looking for: ‘because if I can’t have her, no one can’!”
I admit it. I laughed. Out of shock more than anything. How was this allowed on TV? I took it as some sort of dark comedy show, and it was kind of satisfying to see that freaky character get his comeuppance. Still, there was something unnerving to me, seeing the man’s eyes through the openings in the maiden. Wide and red and terrified. They just looked a little… too real.
But the maiden disappeared as quickly as it came, before I could dwell on it too much. “Oh, envy! Definitely one of my favorite sins.” More laughter. “Stay tuned, folks! We’ve still got a night of fun and games in store for you! But first… how’s about a word from our sponsors?”
Cut to a corporate logo which I again couldn't recognize.
“This segment was made possible by Buer Health, which has recently announced a brilliant new initiative to protect our citizens from skin cancer by removing their skin completely.”
The camera cut to a massive industrial building, resembling a solid concrete cube around 50 meters in width and height. Its surface bore arcane symbols etched using carvings of wailing, tormented faces. The host would occasionally be rendered inaudible by a deafening metallic scraping from within, though he didn’t seem to notice. The only protrusion from the building’s cubic shape was a single smokestack, belching a scarlet red smoke into the atmosphere. A queue of gaunt figures waited at the entrance, herded and coerced by their grim overseers, and there were no words to describe the procession of scarlet ghouls limping out the building’s other end.
“Owing to the nonlinearity of time, the brand new Grand Skinpeeling Machine has spontaneously appeared several years before construction deadlines, and indeed, before it was even conceived of by anyone in our timeline. People have rushed all the way from Malebolge just to try this miracle of technology out on opening day, and so far, the reviews have been stellar!”
He shoved his microphone in the face of a shambling thing that could only scarcely be called a human. Tatters of flesh clung to its exposed musculature, blowing in the wind. Its eyes were the only hint of color in that sea of bloody red, and they were wide, white and terrified. The thing screamed and wailed for as long as it could before the last tendons connecting its jaw to its face snapped, and it was left to choke and gurgle.
“An amazing wail! The results speak for themselves, folks. The Grand Skinpeeling Machine is a hit!”
So far, I was still laughing along and having a good time. The sight of the next ‘guest’, however, started making me nervous.
It was an old lady.
She couldn’t be a day younger than sixty, the sort of sweet elderly woman who in a just world would be cooking chocolate chip cookies for her grandchildren in a comfy cottage somewhere. But here she was, tied to a metal chair, eyes wide, shaking like a leaf. Unlike the last contestant, she seemed to know exactly what was happening.
“In exchange for our loving endorsement, they’ve agreed to loan us one of their star employees. Ladies and gentlemen, put your hands together for: the Liqisma!”
Something slunk from the darkness far behind her — or perhaps it’d be more apt to say that the darkness birthed it whole-cloth. It was like a living shadow, and it took my eyes a moment to register what I was even seeing.
How do I even begin describing this creature? I could say it looked almost human, or at least like something that may have been human long ago. Or I could start with its skin, which was all black and shiny as latex and seemingly smooth on first glance, but if you looked closer you’d realize it was covered in a million tiny reptilian scales, almost like a shark. Its head was a bald man’s, utterly devoid of any distinguishing features, like the basic stock template for a human being. It was notable only for a complete lack of pupils and irises, its eyes a pure white.
Its body defied basic biology in so many key ways, I had to stare it at for what felt like an eternity just to wrap my mind around its physiology. It was at least five or six meters long, by my estimate, composed of multiple human torsos stacked one on top of the other like segments of a centipede, each melding with the ones around it at the waist and shoulders. Each torso sported a pair of short, stubby arms that propelled it with terrifying grace. It ended with a pair of human legs, perpetually bent on their knees, beneath a ‘tail’ that looked more like its coccyx was poking free from its body.
The old last could clearly hear it, and kept futilely trying to turn her head around enough to get a peek at what stood behind her. I mouthed uselessly, don’t. You don’t want to know.
“Glad you could join us again, Miss Wethersby! Judging by our ratings last week, you seemed to have been a fan favorite!”
Her voice was so soft, I could barely hear it below the static. “Oh, God. Please, why won’t you people let me go? I’ve told you, I’ve never done anything, never hurt anybody. There must be some sort of—”
He waved a hand over her, and it seemed to forcefully snap her mouth shut. “Please, Miss Wethersby, save your breath for our questions!” Another cue card. “Your first question, my friend: where did you and your husband buy your first home?”
She had to think about it for a long time. Eventually, she cried out, “Alabama! Tuscaloosa, Alabama!”
“Ding ding ding! Why, you’re already doing better than our first contestant! Next question: what breed of dog was your childhood pet?”
She had a pained look on her face as she thought. Eventually, a timer started ticking down. It wasn’t visible, so it wasn’t clear how much time she had left exactly, but the sound it made got more shrill and high-pitched with every second. “Miss Wethersby, need I remind you that we have a time limit on this show?”
A tear ran down her cheek. “I… I keep telling you people, I don’t know. I have dementia, I can’t remember, please—”
That buzzer again. “I’m afraid that was the wrong answer! Liqisma?” The old lady shuddered at the sounds of hundreds of feet drawing a little closer to her. “Now, your first grandchild. What did he look like? What color were his eyes? His hair?”
She was crying harder now, like it hurt her that she couldn’t remember something so dear to her. “I told you I can’t remember! Why are you doing this to me!?”
“If you don’t remember them, why would they remember you?” The host mocked as the buzzer sounded, and the beast drew a little closer. “Really, do you believe they still even think about you? Or do you think they’re glad that the old bag of bones isn’t there sucking up their inheritance?”
This went on for… God, it could have been an hour. I was glued to the screen all the while, frozen with terror, praying for this nightmare to just end, for her to make it out okay somehow. He poured over every little detail of the life she lived and the people she loved, delighting in how little of it she could still recall.
And the thing grew closer, and closer… until she finally felt multiple pairs of hands resting upon her shoulders. The thing was looming over her now, and a long, black tongue a few feet in length emerged from its mouth and ran trails of dark saliva over the back of her head. She looked broken down, eyes raw from crying, and I could tell by the dampness of her dress that she’d wet herself.
“Now, Miss Wethersby, our time here has been fun, but I do believe it is time for our final question. Tell me, what is the name… of your only son?”
She couldn’t even answer anymore. She just stared ahead, like her mind was a million miles away. He cackled as the buzzer sounded one final time, and threw his cue cards aside. “Thank you for playing, Miss Wethersby. Better luck next time.”
I would say the thing unhinged its jaw like a snake, but that’d be an understatement. The way the thing’s face malformed and wrinkled and stretched as it opened its maw, it no longer looked even remotely human. Its jaws must have parted at least thirty centimeters apart, revealing a second, pharyngeal pair of jaws that lashed out and gripped the woman’s skull, pulling her headlong into that darkness.
I could hear bones crunching and snapping as its throat constricted down around her body, peristaltic muscles compacting her into a meat slurry, bit by bit. Yet she just wouldn’t die. Even as her skull and upper body were already crushed and compacted, organs and muscles pressed into mulch, she still kicked her legs, twitched her fingers, let out a gurgling that must have been some attempt at screaming. She was squirming even as the beast snapped its jaw shut around the last of her, condemning her to whatever torments awaited her inside the creature.
And all the while, that horrible laughter. “Don’t worry, folks! She’ll be back next week! And the next. And the next…”
Needless to say, I wasn’t having fun anymore. In fact, I had to turn away and fight the urge to throw up. I stood, about to turn the TV off and —
“Ah, ah, ah! Don’t touch that dial, now!” I froze. There was something chilling about the way he said that, staring right into the screen as if reacting to what I was doing. I hated that grin on his face. “The real show is just beginning.”
And with the barely restrained excitement of a child on Christmas morning, he yanked back another curtain, and I recognized everything.
I recognized that crappy bootleg knockoff Always Sunny in Philadelphia jacket that was so gaudy and terrible it instantly became her favorite thing in her wardrobe. I recognized those subtle hints of slight acne she disguised as fake freckles. I recognized the way her gray eyes would remind me of those overcast mornings at the beach at Hilton Head and pointing out all the cannonball jellyfish washed up on the sands. I recognized that tattoo of the name ʀᴏᴄᴋʏ, how I’d held her all night long as she cried into my shirt after her childhood cat had died.
It was Lila.
I shuddered, gasped, fell from my seat as if I’d been punched in the stomach and the air had been knocked out of me. I couldn’t breathe. This couldn’t be real. I was dreaming right now. I must be. I just had to wake up.
But I couldn’t wake up. Nothing I could do dispelled the sight of her curled up in that… that thing. That bronze statue of a bull, horns jutting on either side of a head that roaring silently up at the heavens, all while the love of my life was locked in its hollowed out belly, visible only through a pane of glass. I could hear her cry out in shock at where she’d found herself, and every whimper felt like it drove a knife through my chest.
The host soaked in the moment. It was ecstasy for him, the suffering of it all. He stared dead into the camera like he was looking right at me as she called, “What is this? Where am I?”
“Why, I have good news, my dear Lila! You’re exactly where every American dreams of being: you’re on TV.” He pointed to the camera. “And we have a very special guest in the audience tonight. Your very own beloved Jackson!”
I shuddered, hearing my own name ooze from his fetid lips. His façade of perfection was slipping, and there was something so profoundly ugly beneath it. Her eyes snapped to the camera, confused, despairing. “Jackson? Baby? What — what’s happening? What is this?”
I don’t know, I thought, gripping the sides of the TV so hard my knuckles turned white, but I’m going to get you out of there, baby. I’m going to find whoever did this and I’m going to bury them all so far beneath that studio that they’ll never-
“I’m afraid Jackson hasn’t joined us quite yet, my dear. But if you truly love him, surely you’ll give him a show to remember, won’t you?” He taunted her. “All I want, after all, is to ask you a few questions! In fact, I’ll offer you a special deal: get even a single answer right, and I’ll let you go free! But get one wrong and, well…”
On cue, a fire was lit beneath her. Small, smoldering for now, but she whimpered as she noticed the heat. We both realized in that instant what this was. By now, I was screaming things I can’t repeat here, and slamming my hands against the TV screen as if I could reach through and save her.
She bit her lip and acquiesced. Not like she had any room to argue. The host grinned and readied a cue card. “Your first question: where are you, Lila?”
“I… I don’t know. How am I supposed to know?”
“You do know, Lila. You know exactly where you are.” He smirked at her. “Here’s a free hint: what’s the last thing you remember, before you woke up here?
She thought about it… and choked back a sob, visibly shaking as the realization slowly settled in. “But… but why? I… I…”
The horrible wail of the buzzer cut her off. “Oooh, too bad! I’m afraid you’ve run out of time!”
Seemingly as if on its own, the fire doubled in size. Sparks licked the belly of the bronze bull, and began to ever-so-slowly heat the surface. She pawed around in the tight confines, searching for any reprieve from the scalding heat all around her as the metal grew hot like it’d been left out in the sun on a summer’s day. “Please! Oh, God, let me out of this thing! It hurts! It hurts!”
The host seemed to breathe in her pain as if stealing a moment’s indulgence. “Now that there is no doubt about where you are, my dear, let us proceed to the second question.” He switched to his next card. “Did you believe in God, in the end?”
“O-of course!” She pled her case as if she was being tried in court. “My entire life… every day I gave to the poor, helped the sick, did whatever I could to honor Hi-“
“I’m afraid you misunderstood my question. I asked, did you believe in him at the end? The very moment your pitiful little life was snuffed out?”
“I always believed! I’d never forsake Him!”
“Yes, yes, I know. You lived a good and holy life, didn’t you?” He cackled. “But what of the very end? You and your little husband were so excited to deliver your first little baby boy. But o, tragedy! It all went wrong, didn’t it? Your precious little boy didn’t make it through childbirth… and you followed closely behind.”
“That whole business with the botched pregnancy, it was… what do you call it? Ah, yes. A ‘test of faith’. And I’m afraid you failed. In your final moments, you watched the light fade from your child’s eyes, and you assumed — wisely, in my humble opinion — that no ‘kind’ and ‘loving’ God would allow something like that to happen.” He laughed. “Funny how after a lifetime of dutiful service, all it takes is one little mistake at the end… to bring you here. To us.”
I’d never seen such depths of despair in a person’s eyes. Such emptiness. Like with every word, he’d been scooping out another piece of her until she was hollow. And then that buzzer roared again, more shrill than ever, and I could barely see her little window through the smoke and flames. The belly of the bull was turning orange in places, and I could hear her flesh start to sizzle like meat on a grill. There are no words for the noises she made. No words at all.
“And our last, final question,” he continued. “What were your last words to your poor, beloved Jackson?”
“I love you!” I called out the answer. Bloody fingerprints stained the TV screen from my slamming my hands against it, as I screamed the answer over and over. “I love you, I love you, I love you!” At some point, I forgot that there was ever a question. I was just screaming it at her as if hoping that she could hear it, that it could bring her a modicum of comfort in that place.
The buzzer sounded again. I couldn't bring myself to look. All I could hear was the roaring of the bull, and the steam rising from its bronze nostrils.
The curtain fell. Silence drowned the sound. The host dropped all pretense that he hadn’t been speaking directly to me. “Now, Jackson. You just might be one of my new favorite audience members this show had ever had. I know this must have been hard for you. But if you’ll just stay tuned, I have one more show I know you’re certain to love!”
I didn’t bother to touch the remote. After all, nothing could be worse than what I’d just seen, right?
Wrong. Horror wracked me as the curtain rose, and I saw the man chained to a chair. I pulled away like a caveman witnessing fire, cringing and stuttering, face wet with sweat. It was the sort of fear that worked its way into your bones like a bad chill, that left you shaking, teeth chattering.
It was me.
An older me, sure. But not by much. Ten years, maybe. A gaunt and hollow version of me, one twisted by ten years of depression and hard drugs. But it was unmistakable.
His eyes widened as he recognized the host. “Oh — oh God, God please no! It can’t be — oh Christ, let me out of this chair, you —“
“Come, now! We wouldn’t want to use the lord’s name in vain, would we? I mean, that would be a sin!” The host laid a hand on the other me’s shoulder. “It may have been a few years since you watched our program, but I’m sure you remember the rules, don’t you, old friend?”
The other me was wordless, on the verge of hyperventilating, just as I was. The host was giddy with delight. “Now! Our first and only question is one I’m sure our viewer will be very interested in: what sins, exactly, do you think landed you here?”
The other me tried to speak, but the words caught in his throat. I could see it in his eyes. The years of self-destruction, the bitter hopelessness, the whirlpool of nihilism and vice and decay. The suffocating depths of a man. The darkness. How could he put it into words?
The sound of the buzzer was like a pig’s squeal. “Mmm, I’m afraid that our viewer is going to have to figure that out for himself! In the meantime, your punishment? Well, we wouldn’t want to spoil anything…”
The curtains slowly began to fall just as a couple other of those black, grotesque monstrosities emerged from the darkness. The curtain covered them all before I could get a good look at their obscene, twisted, asymmetrical figures. All I could hear was the crunching, the sound of skin tearing like paper, the screaming that went on for longer and louder than a human throat or vocal chords could endure.
The image and audio were beginning to distort, glitch, burn away. The tapes were physically melting as they played. My VCR was starting to overheat, sparks pouring from its front panel. The host voice jumped around in tone, his voice fading into the static blur as the tapes bubbled and boiled and distorted. “But, my friends, I’m afraid that concludes tonight’s episode of our show! So, with a final farewell to our dear, beloved viewer, Jackson…”
Just before the image melted away, the camera seemed to jump forward until his face filled the screen, his eyes piercing into mine as he cackled in that singsong voice.
“See you sooooon~”

The next morning, the school was abuzz with panic and confusion as Himiko walked through the front doors. She walked by herself to school that morning, in case Kokichi was mad at her from the day before.
"Oh, my gosh! Oh, my gosh! What do we do-hoo-hooooo?!" Kazuichi wailed, running around in circles.
"Hm? What's going on?" Kokichi asked.
"Teruteru has disappeared," Gundham answered grimly.
Disappeared? Himiko thought nervously to herself. She glanced at Kokichi out of the corner of her eye.
"When we woke up this mornin' he was just gone!" Akane explained.
"W-We looked...e-everywhere for him, b-but...we couldn't find him," Mikan stammered. Then, she burst into tears. "Where could he beeeee?!"
"Did someone kidnap Mr. Hanamura?!" Hifumi cried.
"No way! There'd be no reason for anyone to do that!" Makoto said.
"Well, gosh! Wherever he is, I hope he's okay," Ibuki said. "Or at least...isn't dead!"
"Who gives a shit if he's dead or not?!" Miu exclaimed. "That's not even important right now!"
"What do you mean, Miu?" Tsumugi asked.
"If Teruteru's gone, who's gonna bake and sell the damn cookies?!" Miu said. Murmurs of concern rippled through the crowd.
"I guess we'll have to do it ourselves, then," Shuichi said.
"Yeah, right!" Kazuichi exclaimed. "That sounds like such a hassle!"
"You don't have to do it if you don't want to," Maki said, rolling her eyes and sighing. "I'm certainly not going to."
"Maki's right," Kaede said. "Besides, I'll volunteer to do it!"
"You will?!" Shuichi exclaimed.
"Mm-hmm! Why don't you join me, Shuichi?" Kaede said. "It'll be fun!"
"Ah, well...okay, I guess," Shuichi mumbled. Then, he smiled at Kaede. "Okay, then, Kaede, I'll try it! Besides, it might be fun!" Kaede wrapped her arms around Shuichi, and gave him a kiss.
"Thanks, Shuichi! You're the best!" she cried. Shuichi blushed.
"Ah, er...yeah...no problem," he said.
"I'll do it, too," Rantaro said. "I used to bake cookies with my sisters. It was a good time, and it'll bring back good memories."
"Would you like me to accompany you, Rantaro?" Kirumi offered.
"Of course!" Rantaro replied. "That'd make it even better, honestly."
"I think I'll volunteer, too!" Mahiru said. "Baking is one of my favorite hobbies outside of photography!"
"Yaaay! Can I help, big sis?" Hiyoko asked.
"Well...okay," Mahiru answered hesitantly. Even though she and Hiyoko were good friends, she didn't particularly enjoy baking with Hiyoko. She was always adding extra ingredients, and licking the spoon when she wasn't supposed to lick it yet.
"Don't worry! I won't lick the spoon this time!" Hiyoko said as if reading Mahiru's mind.
"Well...okay, but...only if you promise," Mahiru said, like a strict older sister.
"Okay, okay...I promise," Hiyoko huffed, like a pouty little sister. Sayaka turned to Hina.
"Hey, Hina, would you like to bake cookies with me?" she asked. Hina gave her a bright smile.
"Yeah!" she said. "Cookies are nowhere near as good as doughnuts, but they're easier to bake and easier to sell!"
"You sure about that?" Fuyuhiko asked. "I'm sure people would choose doughnuts over cookies."
"I'd like for that to be the case, but...I highly doubt that," Hina replied.
"Anyway...I've decided that I wanna sell some cookies, too!" Kokichi chimed in. Everyone looked at him in horror.
"Are you kidding me?! What are you gonna do, poison them?!" Kaito exclaimed.
"Non, non," Kokichi replied. "I have an idea for the perfect cookie that'll sell like hot cakes!"
"And what idea is that, exactly?" Celeste asked.
"Yeeaaahhh..." Kazuichi said, frowning with suspicion.
"Oh? Are you guys curious?" Kokichi asked. "Welp, the only way you're gonna find out is to eat them!"
"I'm not sure I want to," Ryoma said. "After all, curiosity killed the cat."
"Nee-heehee...but cats have nine lives, so you'll be fiiiine!" Kokichi said. "I mean, come on! Curiosity can't be the only thing that kills cats! What cat gets curious nine times?"
"But how can we trust you?" Sakura asked.
"I wanna go on that trip just as much as you guys, so you don't have to worry about me doing anything to the cookies!" Kokichi answered. "I'm gonna do my best to make as much money as everyone else!"
"And you're positive you won't do anything to them?" Gundham asked, narrowing his eyes.
"Yuppers!" Kokichi said with that cheeky grin of his. "And, plus, if I do something wrong to them, you guys are gonna form an angry mob and beat me up! I definitely don't want that!"
"What do you think we are, barbarians?!" Kaito exclaimed. "We'd never do anything like that!"
"Uuuh-huh," Kokichi muttered skeptically, rolling his eyes. "You guys are barbarians just waiting to kill me when you get the chance. If anything, you guys are the untrustworthy ones."
"Us?!" Nekomaru shouted.
"Uh...yeah," Kokichi said. "I bet if you were to find the slightest thing wrong in my cookies, you'd beat me up for it...even if I didn't do anything to them. You'd find a reason to beat me up just so you could get the pleasure of beating me up."
"Wha...We're totally not like that!" Kazuichi cried.
"Kaito is," Kokichi said, giving Kaito a pointed look. "Just ask him. His first response is to punch someone just for making him angry." The others turned to Kaito. Kaito stiffened.

"Well, ah...well, I, uh..." he stammered.
"That is true," Keebo agreed reluctantly.
"And what about Mondo?" Kokichi added. "He's the same way."
"Hey! The hell you includin' me for?!" Mondo growled. Then, he realized that his fists were clenched and loosened them, blushing sheepishly.
"And Maki," Kokichi said, pointing to Maki. "She gets pretty murder-y when you piss her off, too." Maki rolled her eyes and glared at Kokichi.
"Well...not all of us are like that," Mahiru said. "Right, guys?" The others murmured with uncertainty.
"Okay, Kokichi, we will try your cookies, and we will not beat you up or get mad...as long as you do not do anything bad to your cookies," Celeste promised. The others agreed, as well.
"Okie-dokie!" Kokichi said.
"Well, now that we got that out of the way, we might as well get to class!" Taka said. As he said that, the bell for first period rang. Himiko walked off to her locker to grab her books. Her vision suddenly became black by two hands covering her eyes. She turned in surprise to see Kokichi grinning at her.
"Kokichi?!"
"Hahaha, did you see what just happened?" he asked, holding her hand as he walked her to her locker.
"Yeah...you got everyone to agree to buy your cookies," Himiko replied.
"Nee-heehee...man, do I got something for them!" Kokichi said.
"Oh...what is it?" Himiko asked.
"You'll have to wait and seeee!" Kokichi sang. Himiko nodded silently in response. Kokichi tilted his head. "Sooo...why'd you leave home without me?" He playfully swung her hand back and forth. Himiko shrugged.
"No reason," she mumbled, looking away. Kokichi sighed.
"If you're worried that I'm mad at you, Himiko, I'm not," he said. Himiko looked at him.
"You're not?"
"No," Kokichi replied. "I mean...I'm a little disappointed. I really thought it would be a fun idea for you and I to compete against each other. But...since you're my Supreme Lady, I have to respect your decision. I just wish you wouldn't doubt yourself so much, though." Even though Kokichi didn't seem to mind so much that she wouldn't compete against him, Himiko didn't feel any better.
"Oh...okay, then," she mumbled as she removed one of her books from her locker.
"So...wanna hear what happened with Teruteru?" Kokichi asked, deciding to change the subject. Himiko had to admit that she was curious about that.
"What happened to him?"
"Nee-heehee...I had my subordinates kidnap him while he was asleep, then I ordered them to ship him to Rio de Janeiro!" Kokichi explained. "Hahaha...he should be having the time of his life right now!"
"Why do you think that?" Himiko asked. Kokichi grinned impishly at her.
"That place is full of the kind of stuff he's into," he replied with a wink. Himiko smiled and shook her head.
"Nyeh...you're crazy, Kokichi," she said.
"And that's why ya love me, riiight?" Kokichi asked, wiggling his eyebrows. Himiko nodded.
"One of the reasons," she said.
"Yippee! I can sleep well tonight knowing that I'm loved by my Monkey Buns! I wuv you, too, my wittle Supweme Wady!" Kokichi said, wrapping his arm around her shoulders and giving her a kiss on her cheek. He walked her to her first class. "Welp, see you after class, HimiCocoa Bean!"
"Okay, Kokichi," Himiko said. "Bye!" Kokichi waved to her before leaving. Himiko couldn't help but feel sad. Deep down, she also liked the idea of having a friendly competition between her and Kokichi, but she felt that she wouldn't be good enough. She remembered Kokichi feeling disappointed, which stung worse than him being mad at her. All he wanted was for them to have fun, and for her to stop doubting herself. Easier said than done. But could she do it? She was scared to find out, but she couldn't deny that she was also curious. In order to find out, she decided right then and there to take Kokichi up on his offer.
Part Four
After first period ended, Himiko found Kokichi waiting for her outside of her classroom. He grinned as he walked over to her and took her hand in his.
"Hiya, HimiCocoa Bean! Ready for history?" he asked as they began walking.
"Yeah..." Himiko answered faintly. Kokichi waved his hand in front of Himiko's face.
"Earth to Himikooo!" he teased. Himiko blinked at him.
"Nyeh? Oh, sorry, Kokichi," she said.
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah, it's just that..." Himiko paused and faced Kokichi. "...I've decided to compete against you." Kokichi slowly nodded his head in thought.
"Yeeeaaah...I thought you'd change your mind," he said. "But, I'm serious, Himiko. You really don't have to if you don't want to."
"I know, but...part of me wants to, just to see what would happen," Himiko said. Kokichi began to smile.
"Are you sure?" he asked. Deep down, Himiko admitted that she wasn't entirely sure, but she had to break out of her comfort zone sometime. She took a deep breath.
"I'm sure," she replied.
"Nee-heehee...that didn't sound too convincing," Kokichi teased. Then, he grinned gratefully at her. "But, I appreciate that you've decided to give it a try, Himiko."
"Nyeh...the only problem is that I don't know what type of cookies to bake," Himiko said. "And I'm kinda nervous about using the oven by myself. And I don't even know where I'm going to bake them, since Kirumi and Rantaro will be using the one in the kitchen back home."
"You can use the one at D.I.C.E. headquarters," Kokichi whispered. "That's where I'm gonna be baking my batch of cookies."
"In that case, those cookies are definitely gonna taste funny," Himiko joked.
"Nee-heehee...nice one!" Kokichi said. "And anyway, maybe Three can help you bake the cookies. She loves baking. Ten does, too!"
"Well...that does sound like fun, actually," Himiko admitted with a small smile.
"Riiight?" Kokichi said. "Okie, then! We'll go over there after dinner! How's that sound?"
"That's fine," Himiko answered. "At least I'll have time for a nap when I get home."
***
Later that night after dinner, Kokichi and Himiko sneaked away from Casa V3, and headed over to D.I.C.E. headquarters. Three placed Kokichi's Supreme Leader hat on his head, while Five wrapped his cape around his shoulders.
"Boss, you're here!" Four exclaimed. "Are we going on another heist tonight?"
"Was a heist even scheduled for tonight?" Nine asked.
"No heist tonight, guys," Kokichi said. "Himiko and I came here to bake some cookies!" Three gasped excitedly.
"OH, MY GOSH!! I LOVE COOKIES!! I LOVE BAKING!! I LOVE BAKING COOKIES!! CAN I HELP?!" she cried, bouncing up and down with glee.
"As a matter of fact, Keiko, you and Takehiko get to help the Supreme Lady bake her batch," Kokichi said, gesturing to Himiko.
"Yaaay!" Three said, skipping over to Himiko. She playfully smacked Himiko's arm. "Looks like it's you and me, Supreme Lady!"
"Uh...and me, too!" Ten said, patting his afro proudly. "Don't worry, Supreme Lady! I don't look like it, but I'm actually good at baking!"
"And I can make them look so pretty!" Three added.
"Wait...why are you baking cookies in the first place?" Six asked.
"Does there need to be a reason?" Seven asked in her usual monotone voice. "They're cookies."
"We're trying to raise money for a surprise field trip at school," Kokichi explained. "And to do that, we have to sell cookies."
"A surprise field trip?" Nine asked, raising a brow.
"So...you're going on a field trip, but you don't know when?" Five asked as she filed her nails.
"Nyeh...it's not the when we don't know, it's the where," Himiko explained.
"That's right," Kokichi nodded. "The field trip is next month on the 11th, but the surprise is where we're going."
"So, you could be going to a landfill, and you wouldn't even know?!" Four asked incredulously, throwing his hands up in the air.
"Hey, I didn't come up with the idea, that was the school," Kokichi said with a shrug.
"That's...very strange," Two said, scratching his head.
"Yeah, it's as if your school is being run by a wino," Five agreed. Kokichi and Himiko exchanged knowing smiles and giggled.
"Oh, who cares? They gave you guys a reason to bake cookies, and that's all that matters to me!" Three said. She entangled her arms in Himiko's and Ten's. "So, come on! Let's go to the kitchen, already!"
"Oh, but..." Himiko said, turning back to Kokichi. "Kokichi, do you wanna use the kitchen first?"
"Nah, you go ahead, Monkey Buns," Kokichi said, stroking Himiko's cheek.
"Heh, heh, heh...Monkey Buns," Four snickered to himself. Kokichi raised his eyebrows at him. Four held up his hands defensively. "I didn't say anything." Three dragged Himiko and Ten to the kitchen.
"O-kay! First of all..." she turned to Himiko, twirling a strand from one of her pigtails with curiosity. "...what kind of cookies did you wanna bake, Supreme Lady?"
"Nyeh...I'm not sure, to be honest," Himiko admitted.
"Hm...if you want to sell the right cookies, Supreme Lady, I highly recommend snickerdoodles," Ten suggested. "You can't go wrong with snickerdoodles!"
"Are you sure we shouldn't go with chocolate chip, just to be on the safe side?" Himiko asked. "That's a pretty popular cookie."
"I suppose that is a good point," Ten replied thoughtfully. "Alright, chocolate chip cookies it is, then."
"Ooo! Ooo! Let's bake the soft and chewy kind!" Three exclaimed. "Those are the best!" Ten frowned.
"Really? I think I like mine crunchy," he said. He turned to Himiko. "What do you think, Supreme Lady?"
"Nyeh...maybe we could make a batch of both?" Himiko replied with uncertainty.

"Works for me!" Ten said.
"Ditto!" said Three. "No wonder the boss picked you as his Supreme Lady! You're really smart!" Himiko definitely did not agree with that, but she smiled gratefully at Three nevertheless.
"Nyeh...thanks, Keiko," she replied. Ten pulled out a large bowl for mixing, a tray for setting the cookies on, and the ingredients.
"Well, then...let's get to work," he said. After an hour or so of baking, Kokichi waltzed into the kitchen to check on their progress.
"Sooo...how's it going in here?" he asked, wrapping his arm around Himiko's waist and kissing her cheek.
"Nyeh...we should be done soon," Himiko answered.
"Yup! We'll be done after this last batch in the oven here," Ten added.
"Good, because I really need to get started on my batch," Kokichi said with a devious grin.
"What up with the urgency?" Ten asked.
"Nee-heehee...let's just say that I have a feeling my cookies are gonna be the next hot thing!" Kokichi replied.
"Nyeh?" Himiko mumbled quizzically.
"Can I help you bake them, too, Kokichi? Three asked eagerly.
"Hmm...well, you are good at decorating," Kokichi answered thoughtfully. "That will definitely come in handy! Okay, Keiko, you can help!"
"YES!!" Three shouted. The timer chimed like a clown nose honking, letting Ten know that it was time to remove the cookies from the oven.
"Okie-dokie, boss! Oven's all yours!" he said.
"Excellent," Kokichi replied in a low voice with a devilish grin. Three and Ten placed Himiko's cookies in two large tin bowls with lids, separating the crunchy cookies from the soft ones, and handed them to her.
"There you go, Supreme Lady!" Three said.
"Nyeh...thanks for helping me, you guys," Himiko replied appreciatively. Ten and Three bowed.
"You are very welcome," Ten said.

"I'm glad you got your cookies all baked and ready, HimiCocoa Bean," Kokichi said, placing his hands on Himiko's shoulders. "But...I'm afraid I'll have to ask you to leave the kitchen. Your Supreme Leader has an evil scheme he's been dying to...'cook up' in this kitchen."
"Nyeh...okay, but, you're not gonna put anything super weird in your cookies that'll hurt people, right?" Himiko asked.
"Nee-heehee...of course nooot!" Kokichi replied mischievously. "You know me better than that, Himiko."
"Kokichi..." Himiko warned, raising a brow at him.
"Don't worry, Himiko, I won't hurt anyone," Kokichi promised.
"Well...okay, then," Himiko said. "Continue with your evil plan."
"Thanks, babe," Kokichi said, giving Himiko a kiss. "You can go ahead and wait in the living room while I concoct the perfect, evil cookie." Himiko nodded and joined the other D.I.C.E. members in the living room. Kokichi turned to Three, grinning devilishly. "Keiko, hand me the super spicy cinnamon, please."

I have two cats, Binx (M, 7) and Lady (F, ~2) and have been struggling with my work schedule and feeding them in some kind of routine. At the start of this year I purchased and automatic feeder with a timer setting and two bowls in the hopes that I could get them on a routine, and not be stressed when I'm at work too late or have to go in too early. Lady just loves to rough house with the feeder and knocks it over to get more food out of it. She was successful a couple of times in knocking the top off but I have since taped it in such a way that doesn't happen. We had to take a break from it when I returned from a 10-day trip, because their caregivers were having to clean up and fix the feeder multiple times a day, every day.
After a couple months of struggling with their schedule, I'm trying again. This time I have done my best attempt to secure it to the wall with a strap and anchor, but they still remove the bowls, smack the food diverter piece off, and knock the thing mostly over.
Has anyone dealt with this and perhaps has a solution to my issue? I will be going away next month for 5 days and don't want to burden their caregivers again. Thank you!!❤️

It’s still surprising to me that people reserve rides, where they pick the pick up time in advance and they still can’t be ready. I had 2 xl reserved rides this morning and neither was ready. Got to the first ride 12 minutes early, waited the 12 minutes, then waited the 5 minutes after. As timer was running out, a guy in shorts, no shirt/shoes comes out. Says, “we’re running late, I’ll bring the luggage out so you can load that while we get ready.” Cancelled and collected $21 fee before he even got back in the house . Did a few rides and then headed to second reservation. Got there 14 minutes before pickup. Waited out the 14 minutes, then with about 15 seconds left on the 5 minute timer, a guy comes out, apologizes and says “we’ll just be a few more minutes, the ladies are finishing their coffees.” By the time he got back in the house and closed the door, the timer ran out, I cancelled and collected a $19 fee. Did another ride in that neighborhood, then their ride popped up again, I ignored it and it popped up 2 more times. Really don’t understand how you can’t be ready for your own reserved ride and why you’re so disrespectful of our time.

For anyone who missed how this started
https://www.reddit.com/HFY/s/PxAkXKR0aH
I didn’t expect so many people out there would care about what’s happening to me. I’d say it’s humbling, but, well, my situation has been humbling me since I left the states. You guys cheering me on, and trying to help, it’s kept me going though.
So, I figure the least I can do is keep you all updated until something prevents me from doing so. Likely in a permanent fashion.
I'll say, the ride home was awkward, to say the least. For all of the grim predictions running through my head going to the spectacle , on the way back they were ten times worse.
I wasn’t caged, shackled and tortured when I returned. If I said I was greeted with concern by the handful of distant relatives and lost souls I’d be over exaggerating. But there was a bit of respect and kindness .
I was patched up, as far as being stabbed goes, apparently I got lucky.
There was food, question free beer, and a healthy number of people asking how things went.
All I wanted to do was sleep, but something kept me going. Kept me answering questions I’d rather not have, kept my fear fried brain making conversation and trading verbal jabs.
A tap on my shoulder startles me, the sun is rising and if I don’t get to sleep soon, I’m going to fall over.
“Your half. “ Sylvia says, it’s just shy of a thousand pounds.
“All this was for, what is this? $600 American? “ I say.
“ Walk with me. “ Sylvia begins, I follow.
“Money isn’t much good if I’m dead. “ I say, my tone sullen and exasperated.
“Then don’t die. “ She replies, walking across the debris strewn scrub grass toward the farm house.
“Do you have any shame? You kidnapped me in the middle of the night to feed me to a couple of demons. I’m your nephew for Christ’s sake! “ I’m not yelling, I don’t think my body is capable of that much exertion at this point, but my words are clear.
“I’m not your aunt, Nikolas.
Great-Great-Great grandmother, give or take a generation. It’s been a long time.
And if I was doing, as you suggest, yes, I would feel a deep shame.” Sylvia lets the answers and questions ferment in my mind as we walk.
“So why not tell me what’s going on? Maybe teach me some of that magic you were tossing around at the airport. “ we stop outside a sliding door. Sylvia has a genuine look of amusement on her face.
“Magic? Nikolas, magic is what stupid people call being fooled.
Magic is the Priest’s sermon, the fortune teller’s reading, the huckster’s pitch.
It’s a way to create vast amounts of power from nothing.
The world is full of things that defy the laws of nature. What I do, what those of the family with me do, is understand them. We learn, we improvise, and we adapt.
We do not make power from nothing, we find it, and use it. “ Sylvia watches me, judging my response to her statement.
“So that’s what you meant before. About the trappings of the gypsy. This whole vibe, it’s a smokescreen.
Assholes expect the Gritts to be some Romani stereotype, and give you a wide berth. When strange shit happens, they chalk it up to some kind of con, or something they’ve seen in a movie. Either way, they aren’t looking for monster fights, and supernatural research. “ I know I’m in the ballpark when she pats me on the shoulder hard enough to hurt.
“And the value of your half, is somewhere around 30 thousand. We wager in esoteric items, favors, and creatures. When you leave, I’ll make you a fair offer for what is yours.
You’ll understand more in the morning after you have a chance to look around. “ Sylvia says before showing me a sparse, but clean, and comfortable room.
I wake up in the early afternoon, something, beyond the obvious nagging at me.
After a cup of nearly caustic tea, I finally realized what it was.
Sylvia, she told me a lot last night. But many of my questions were avoided. I know about her, and this place, but my fate, beyond another round of tug of war between two nightmares, is unknown.
That being said, my second conclusion, is that I need to start rolling with the punches. I’ve tried calling the police (they asked how Sylvia was doing before I said my name.), my parents, anyone, and like it or not, for one unsaid reason or another, I’m stuck here.
I’m going to skip a lot of introductions. Reading me introducing myself, 50 times and trying not to be awkward around folks that seem way too okay with me dying, probably wouldn’t be the best use of your time.
As I explore the grounds, I enter one of a handful of old barns. The inside has peg board walls hung with tools spanning the spectrum from mundane to esoteric enough I have no idea what they are.
Inside, among benches strewn with a random assortment of objects, and equipment, stand two men.
The first is Colin, he’s pale as a ghost, eyes bloodshot and sleep deprived, he wears an Aerosmith shirt, and toolbelt that is making his pants lose a battle with gravity. The 40 something is holding an electrode connected to a thick, black wire directly patched into the main breaker.
The second, Dafyd is a short, olive skinned man in his mid fifties. His outfit consists of a tweed jacket, blue jeans and plain white shirt.
Between them on a grounded workbench sits a small snow globe, within stands a faded ballerina, one arm lost, floating randomly through the liquid.
My teeth ache as the breaker begins to make a dangerous humming noise. For a couple of seconds, a short blue spark arcs from the electrode to the snow globe.
The air smells of ozone to the point where I’m convinced I’ve burned out my nose hairs. The two men argue a bit between themselves in a language I’ve heard but never learned to speak. Then turn as they notice me.
“Nik, come settle an argument between your uncle and I. “ Dafyd says.
“Don’t know how much help I’m going to be, but I’ll do my best. “ I say, walking up.
“The kid has no idea what’s going on Dafyd. “ Colin says.
“I know, but we’re not looking for an expert opinion.
Nik, what year is it? “ Dafyd asks.
“1993.” I say without hesitation, “ What the hell? “ I add. My brain is a bit fried, but not enough to screw up the date by 30 something years.
“God damn it. “ Colin says.
“I knew it! “ exclaims Dafyd.
“This piece of shit is getting binned.
You look confused kid.
It’s called a gimmick. It’s the stuff side of what we deal in. Some of it, it’s two steps off of a horror novel. Most of it though, it’s just strange.
Figuring them out is 95% engineering and 5% esoterica.
They teaching you anything across the pond? “ Colin asks.
The question leads to a conversation, the conversation leads to a week of me shadowing the two finicky, strange guys.
I’d go into more detail, but as the days go by, things seem more and more like spending time with some out there branches in the family tree. As terrifying as everything has been, as terrifying as it is, it’s, interesting.
But I wouldn’t be writing if things were sunshine and roses though, would I?
One day, after working with objects that scared, confused and frustrated me in equal measure, I realized there was something I was avoiding.
So I found myself standing in front of Augustus, the creature held upright and immobile in it’s coffin-like cage. The Plexiglas window is cracked.
It's worse than I thought it would be. Every time I look at the thing’s face I see the blood it made me spill. I see the power it wields, and the murderous intent in it’s twisted pit of a mind.
But sometime soon, I’m going to be next to it again. I have to be able to keep myself together. I have to understand this thing as much as I can.
“Hey killer, how the fuck ya Doin? “ Augustus taunts. Shame reddens my fear paled face.
“Can we talk? “ I say, I want it to be a demand, it comes out as a whimper.
“What do we have to talk about, bud? What about this are you not picking up on yet? “ Augustus is smug, confident even while confined.
“How you seem to have this limitless ego, when you're being held by literally the oldest woman possible. “ I’m too scared to say this above a whisper.
“That dusty old wizard’s sleeve out there? She’ll fucking get hers.
Lucky bitch on a lucky day is all that was.
But luck runs out, and when it does, I’m gonna uproot your entire sad little family tree. “ Augustus threatens.
I actually take a step backward, and almost turn. The fear this thing causes, it’s more than the knowledge of what it can do, it’s a force in and of itself.
“Augustus, why not hear me out? “ I plead.
“Because kid, that’s not how this story goes.
I’ve got nothing but time, I’ll be around till the heat death of the fucking universe.
I don’t need to hear things like you out, I don’t need to bargain. No matter how airtight your inbred little clan thinks these bonds are, eventually, someone always makes a mistake. Something small, like a wrong angle on a rune.
Or…, “ as the thing talks, the door to the coffin like cage holding it starts to slowly swing outward, “ Something big, like forgetting to set the fucking padlock. “
I’m already running as he talks, but he’s standing in front of the exit before I can take a step.
He looms in front of the door, coat spreading, seemingly of it’s own accord, making the patchwork killer seem like some kind of twisted manta ray.
He locks eyes with me, I’m frozen, gripped in terror so intense I have no idea if it’s mundane or the aura of fear Augustus projects.
Those mismatched orbs burrow into me, I feel like this thing can see into my soul.
He inhales for an impossibly long time, a slick, menacing grin spreading across his leathery face.
“Yeah, today’s the day kid.” He says, a kick sending me across the floor like a smooth rock across the surface of a pond.
I’ve never felt pain like this, I try to stand, but my knee refuses to bend. I hit the ground and my ribs scream, I’m sure at least one was broken in the tumble.
I hear Augustus’ footsteps, my struggles to get to my feet are useless. Seconds in, i’m in literal crippling pain.
He grabs me by the throat, taking his time as he raises me above his head.
The look of joy on his face as I choke and struggle to breathe twists his features, for a moment he appears nearly snakelike.
He holds the tips of his claw-like nails against my stomach. Then draws his arm back.
“Don’t worry bud, I’m not just going to tear out your heart, everyone does that shit.
This isn’t going to be a sprint, it’s a fucking marathon. I just want to aerate the track a little bit before we start. “ His hand blurs and I close my eyes hoping I don’t last very long.
“Stop” I hear a deep, smooth, male voice say.
I hit the ground, and try to see who just stopped the beginning of my execution, but the pain, the cracked ribs, pulled muscles and long ragged scrapes have me seeing spots.
When my vision clears, I see a tall, blond man with impossibly angular features, dressed in an immaculate black and mauve suit.
His eyes try to look kind, but there is something wrong behind them. Something waiting to be let out.
“Who are you? “ I say, one lip, split and torn.
“You can call me Art. Arthur Deus if you feel like being formal.
But what you want to know, is why I’m here.
Well Nikolas, to simplify things, think of me as the older brother of the leering terror your ‘aunt’ has trapped here. “ As Arthur talks, I notice something, the motes of dust in the air are hanging still.
“I have no problems with you taking him. I haven’t seen you, I don’t know your name. Couldn’t stop you if I wanted to. “ I ramble.
Arthur holds up a finger, I go silent.
“If only it were that easy.
See Nikolas, your aunt and I, have quite the history. And as much as it pains me to admit it, she’s a crafty one, and has the means to make things very difficult for me.
Sylvia cannot know I’m involved, this is why I have an offer for you. “ As art says this, he waves a hand, almost dismissively.
Like a switch being flipped my pain stops, I watch as my wounds begin to seal and fade, amazed.
“What is it? “ I say. The words feel like they have weight.
“Sylvia is looking for someone to take over for her. As old as she is, she’s not immortal.
You’re her third attempt.
I’m not going to lie to you and say I care about what’s happening to the humans involved in this grim little spectacle. But I care about my family, and to a lesser extent, those like myself.
This bloodsport that your aunt is a part of, it’s vile. It’s world spanning, and it’s for nothing more than greed and bragging rights.
I want to change this. And I would like you to help me. “ Art’s tone is slick and confident.
“If I do, then you get him to back off? “ I say, pointing to Augustus.
Art looks dismayed for a moment.
“That’s not something I can really promise Nikolas. If anything could force him to listen to reason, he wouldn’t be in this situation in the first place. “ My heart sinks as Art says this.
“Fuck off Art. “ Augustus says.
Arthur rolls his eyes. They seem to go just a little too far back.
“But what I can do, is have a conversation with him, impress upon him how important it is he works with you. “ Art pats me on the shoulder before turning toward his sibling. His hand is impossibly hot.
“This kid dies, that is not my fault. You’ve seen this shit, he’s not built for it, just bust me out of here. “ Augustus isn’t far off of pleading in his tone.
“You know that’s not possible. I cannot let Sylvia know I’m here. But given time, I will have you out. “ Art assures.
“Fact remains, this kid gets on the wrong side of a blade or a fuckin, werewolf or something, that’s not on me.
Even if he manages to keep his lungs in his chest, look at him. His mind is cracking, he’s either insane or God-damned, catatonic in two months. “ Now Augustus sounds like a cocky piece of shit again.
“Of course, if he dies, or succumbs mentally, that’s not on you.
But I want you, to make a promise to me. I want you to understand that this child cannot be harmed by your hand. “ It sounds like Art is talking to a five year old.
Augustus shrugs before replying.
“The fuck you want me to say? You know me, you know I can’t say I’m not hurting this kid. And I sure as hell am not making a promise about it so you can get you-know-who involved when nature takes it’s course.
Fuck this kid, get me out of here.”
Arthur sighs and turns from Augustus , walking to me.
“Nikolas, I have something to tell you. “ He says, there’s a gravity to his tone that clearly makes Augustus uncomfortable.
“Art, what are you doing? “ The Trenchcoat wearing creature asks.
Art kneels bringing himself eye to eye with me.
“Don’t do this. “ Augustus says.
“Then promise. “ Art replies, a few seconds of silence go by, “ As you can see, I cannot guarantee your safety Nikolas.
But, for his own good, I want to tell you a word, one that will make my myopic brother look at things a little differently, if the need arises.
I’d use it sparingly, it’s not meant for those like yourself. It will have a physical, mental and spiritual toll. But it might spare you the worst of his excesses. “
That word was the last thing Arthur said to me. With a staggering, disorienting lurch, time began to move forward.
It kept moving forward for the next month.
I learned a lot over that time, but, not what you might expect.
As it turns out, there is a hell of a lot more engineering, physics, and chemistry involved in working with the supernatural than, summoning circles and newt eyes.
But eventually, the day I was dreading came.
The venue was a strip club of all places, a massive building, on the outskirts of Norwich, gaudy neon lights illuminate a place that, unlike the theme restaurant, seems to be in active use.
There was a different ambiance this time. The folks milling around the rune etched Lucite box seemed more sedate, and a hell of a lot richer.
The lighting was professional, driving music sets a professional sports tone.
This time I walk in the cage of my own accord. It’s not pride, or bravery, but simply knowing, I have no choice.
The roar of the crowd stokes my fear as Augustus slowly opens the door of his coffin-like vessel.
He loves the attention, his grin both horrifying and genuine.
“Guess we’re in the big leagues now, eh, killer? “ Augustus prods.
I’m sweating. I’ve cut a little weight over the past month, unintentionally, but as I wonder what horror is going to come walking in the other side of this cage. I don’t think being in marginally better shape and having a working knowledge of basic engineering is going to do me a lot of good.
Suddenly the crowd is silent, lights illuminate a spot at the far end of the massive Lucite box.
She’s small, slight, and has grey, lifeless skin. Her eyes are massive, her body beautiful, but exaggerated to the point of looking cartoonish. She’s not wearing much, a small t-shirt and what I’ll generously call a bikini bottom.
Beside her is a massive, brick slab of a man, late twenties or early thirties. His eyes are wild, he’s covered in layers of scars, and burns. He wears an old, worn prison uniform that’s never seen a washing machine.
He matches her strange, boneless stride, with a loping wolf-like gait.
“Entering the ring, you know her, you love her. She’s the Vixen of the void, The Nymph of nothing, Norwich’s own, ‘Sweet’ Francis Anne!
And at her side, brought in at great expense from the land of Twinkies, cheeseburgers and weak beer, The Corps Killer, the Military Mangler, with 24 out of ring kills and 36 in, ‘Big’ Billy Speck! “ an announcer screams.
The crowd bursts into life, noise shakes the walls of the cage.
“And, on the other side, I don’t know, some wanker in a Trenchcoat, and a kid that isn’t even old enough to be here. Let’s watch them die. “ He finishes.
Augustus looks enraged, his teeth chatter, he flexes his clawed hands. I walk in his shadow as he advances to face the creature and her second.
“I know you! “ The grey skinned thing says, her voice high pitched. As she speaks I notice what appears to be a thick scar bisecting her from forehead to stomach.
“Never heard of you. Neither will anyone else after this. “ Augustus says with a grin.
“You’re the runt of the litter right? Royal blood but peasant flesh, that’s what they say, no? “ Francis says, she grins a toothless smile. The inside of her mouth, a black void.
“Fuck my family. What I am is as good as meat gets. I give myself power, all you have is a cosmic std. “ Augustus stares Francis down as he talks.
Francis reacts with nothing more than a coy look. Bill stares down at me, the handle of some large blade sticking out of his right pocket, and a short length of chain wrapped around his left forearm.
A buzzer cuts through the roar of the crowd, the world seems to consist of nothing more than myself and the horrors around me as the timer begins to count down.
Like a flash Augustus leaps at Francis, but her body stretches and contorts as she moves, he never gets close.
I tear myself away from the clash of unnatural creatures as I look to the mutilated killer in front of me.
I didn’t come in unarmed, but I also was expecting another kid. And wanted to avoid what happened last time if at all possible. My heart races as I pull the small black can from the pocket of my worn, grey hoodie.
For a second I feel like a badass. I’ve got the can of mace aimed and spraying before Bill can react.
Four seconds tick by before the can is empty, Bill is soaked in thick yellow liquid, it runs down his face like tears.
The psycho doesn’t even blink.
“You good? “ he asks before slapping my outstretched arm aside and shattering my nose with a backhanded blow that seemed almost an afterthought.
Augustus screams in frustration, moving faster than I can track, but not able to put a scratch on the amorphous, rubbery woman.
Bill uncoils the chain, and I feel a sudden deep, crushing pain in my chest. I stumble backward, coughing. He laughs and whips the chain out again, I manage to see the next blow, but have no way of stopping it.
He manages to hit the same spot, the pain is overwhelming, my lungs feel bruised, I can’t breathe.
Francis seems to have grown bored avoiding Augustus, he pants, sucking wind as she stands in front of him.
That scar splits, not fully, but from forehead to the bridge of her nose. What’s behind it, is nothing.
I mean that in terms so literal, I can’t describe how it looked. It was more of a feeling that a sight. Looking into it, made me understand just how empty something can actually be.
Pieces of Augustus’ skin and flesh begin to, simply not exist. His look of confusion lasts for about a second before he’s sent sailing through the air by a long, whip-like arm.
The trenchcoat clad creature extracts himself from a tangled mess of tables, chairs and debris. Francis and Bill laugh, mocking us.
“Let’s trade dance partners” Augustus says, his two handed shove launching my broken body into Francis.
She catches me, her body absorbing the impact.
Fear is making me hyperventilate, physical trauma is turning that into a wheezing pant that feels like being waterboarded.
Francis looks down at me, violence and seduction in her eyes.
“Make things easy for me and I’ll let you go out with a bang. “ She says, the look of carnal violence on her face makes me gag.
Augustus struggles with Bill, the creatures wounds many and severe.
A minute remains, but I don’t know if I can last another ten seconds.
Francis stretches one arm into a thin tendril, it begins to circle me, caging me into a progressively smaller area.
“I’m sixteen, you paranormal nonce. “ I blurt out, the pain from my broken nose almost making me pass out, “ That’s the word they use around here, right? For the kind of creep that gets supernatural powers to hit on a kid? “
I can’t run, I can’t fight, all I can do is try to distract this thing for another 42 seconds.
Her face begins to turn, shifting and warping into something resembling a cattle skull more than a person.
The wet snapping noise distracts both Francis and myself.
Augustus has his hand buried in the chest of the convict, he holds the man aloft for a moment.
Augustus says something in a language I can’t even guess at, and with one fluid motion tears the black, decayed heart from his own chest and replaces it with that of the killer.
He begins to scream, then laugh, wounds spraying ichor, he seems to swell, his face a mask of pleasure and Ill intent.
“Death machine just needed a new engine. “ Augustus says with a cackle.
Francis forgets about me and lashes out, quite literally, at Augustus. Limbs becoming a frenzied blur of snaking flesh, , destroying anything they so much as graze.
He wades into the storm, flirting around the edges of the cage, making her chase him with the lethal limbs.
The conflict is a blur, but at the 23 second mark I see it. As much as I hate the prick, I’m almost impressed.
She’s tangled, somewhere among the bent stripper poles, and doorways to private booths, She’s caught herself.
Augustus takes his time now, her body is stretched thin, looped around door handles and under stages.
Ten seconds left, Augustus is feet from her writhing, blob-like form. Her features pulled taught enough to be nearly non-existent.
“Takes a lot to open yourself up doesn’t it? “ Augustus says, kneeling, he holds the killer’s knife in one hand, “ Why don’t I do it for you? “
The blade is barely touching her flesh as the timer ends.
“Fuck’s sake! “ Augustus says, standing, and letting the knife fall to the floor.
Something about the way he walks to one end of the Lucite cage worries me.
“Nobody likes a draw, but as far as they go, that was one hell of a kiss to your sister, wasn’t it folks?
No one is defeating our lovely lady of legend, but let’s hear it for the man who tried… Trenchcoat! “ The announcer screams over the loudspeaker.
The crowd is on their feet, bets are being paid out, and two groups of people are trying to open doors conveniently barred by flesh no person is going to get through.
I jog up to him, my body screaming at me every step of the way. He taps along one clear wall.
“Cheap runes. “ Augustus says, before driving his fist like a spear through the Lucite.
The hole he makes is about the size of a watermelon, his hand easily going through all six inches of the wall.
But it’s not big enough to accommodate the body of the poor twenty something he drags through.
In an instant the man is flensed, his small bones broken, eyes, ears and jaw, nothing more than a smear.
But he’s still alive, wailing a haunting death bellow as he struggles to understand what just happened.
“Stop! “ I scream, horrified. Blood sprays from my ruined nose, “You think I won’t say it? “
Augustus slowly cocks his head, punching his fist through the wall again, and tossing another victim beside the first.
“In front of your family, and that aunt of yours? You think this is bad? The shit she’ll do to you if she knows you even looked at my Dangerous Brothers looking prick of a brother will make this look like a massage.” Trenchcoat pauses, letting the reality sink in, letting my absolute lack of power envelop me like a blanket, “ You want me to stop? I’ll give you something no one else has, a choice.
Either finish one of these pieces of meat off, or, have a taste. “
He brings his hand back for another strike, and I make my choice.
No, I’m not telling you which one. I can share a lot of things with you guys. But, I’m sorry, how I picked to save the rest of the people in that place is a shame I’m going to carry on my own.
Don’t know if any of you will want to hear from me again, after knowing what I’ve had to do, who I’ve had to deal with, but I’m going to keep posting. This is getting nothing but worse, and maybe, I can save someone else the same fate.

For anyone who missed how this started.
https://www.reddit.com/nosleep/s/8Gy9JbmUVC
I didn’t expect so many people out there would care about what’s happening to me. I’d say it’s humbling, but, well, my situation has been humbling me since I left the states. You guys cheering me on, and trying to help, it’s kept me going though.
So, I figure the least I can do is keep you all updated until something prevents me from doing so. Likely in a permanent fashion.
I'll say, the ride home was awkward, to say the least. For all of the grim predictions running through my head going to the spectacle , on the way back they were ten times worse.
I wasn’t caged, shackled and tortured when I returned. If I said I was greeted with concern by the handful of distant relatives and lost souls I’d be over exaggerating. But there was a bit of respect and kindness .
I was patched up, as far as being stabbed goes, apparently I got lucky.
There was food, question free beer, and a healthy number of people asking how things went.
All I wanted to do was sleep, but something kept me going. Kept me answering questions I’d rather not have, kept my fear fried brain making conversation and trading verbal jabs.
A tap on my shoulder startles me, the sun is rising and if I don’t get to sleep soon, I’m going to fall over.
“Your half. “ Sylvia says, it’s just shy of a thousand pounds.
“All this was for, what is this? $600 American? “ I say.
“ Walk with me. “ Sylvia begins, I follow.
“Money isn’t much good if I’m dead. “ I say, my tone sullen and exasperated.
“Then don’t die. “ She replies, walking across the debris strewn scrub grass toward the farm house.
“Do you have any shame? You kidnapped me in the middle of the night to feed me to a couple of demons. I’m your nephew for Christ’s sake! “ I’m not yelling, I don’t think my body is capable of that much exertion at this point, but my words are clear.
“I’m not your aunt, Nikolas.
Great-Great-Great grandmother, give or take a generation. It’s been a long time.
And if I was doing, as you suggest, yes, I would feel a deep shame.” Sylvia lets the answers and questions ferment in my mind as we walk.
“So why not tell me what’s going on? Maybe teach me some of that magic you were tossing around at the airport. “ we stop outside a sliding door. Sylvia has a genuine look of amusement on her face.
“Magic? Nikolas, magic is what stupid people call being fooled.
Magic is the Priest’s sermon, the fortune teller’s reading, the huckster’s pitch.
It’s a way to create vast amounts of power from nothing.
The world is full of things that defy the laws of nature. What I do, what those of the family with me do, is understand them. We learn, we improvise, and we adapt.
We do not make power from nothing, we find it, and use it. “ Sylvia watches me, judging my response to her statement.
“So that’s what you meant before. About the trappings of the gypsy. This whole vibe, it’s a smokescreen.
Assholes expect the Gritts to be some Romani stereotype, and give you a wide berth. When strange shit happens, they chalk it up to some kind of con, or something they’ve seen in a movie. Either way, they aren’t looking for monster fights, and supernatural research. “ I know I’m in the ballpark when she pats me on the shoulder hard enough to hurt.
“And the value of your half, is somewhere around 30 thousand. We wager in esoteric items, favors, and creatures. When you leave, I’ll make you a fair offer for what is yours.
You’ll understand more in the morning after you have a chance to look around. “ Sylvia says before showing me a sparse, but clean, and comfortable room.
I wake up in the early afternoon, something, beyond the obvious nagging at me.
After a cup of nearly caustic tea, I finally realized what it was.
Sylvia, she told me a lot last night. But many of my questions were avoided. I know about her, and this place, but my fate, beyond another round of tug of war between two nightmares, is unknown.
That being said, my second conclusion, is that I need to start rolling with the punches. I’ve tried calling the police (they asked how Sylvia was doing before I said my name.), my parents, anyone, and like it or not, for one unsaid reason or another, I’m stuck here.
I’m going to skip a lot of introductions. Reading me introducing myself, 50 times and trying not to be awkward around folks that seem way too okay with me dying, probably wouldn’t be the best use of your time.
As I explore the grounds, I enter one of a handful of old barns. The inside has peg board walls hung with tools spanning the spectrum from mundane to esoteric enough I have no idea what they are.
Inside, among benches strewn with a random assortment of objects, and equipment, stand two men.
The first is Colin, he’s pale as a ghost, eyes bloodshot and sleep deprived, he wears an Aerosmith shirt, and toolbelt that is making his pants lose a battle with gravity. The 40 something is holding an electrode connected to a thick, black wire directly patched into the main breaker.
The second, Dafyd is a short, olive skinned man in his mid fifties. His outfit consists of a tweed jacket, blue jeans and plain white shirt.
Between them on a grounded workbench sits a small snow globe, within stands a faded ballerina, one arm lost, floating randomly through the liquid.
My teeth ache as the breaker begins to make a dangerous humming noise. For a couple of seconds, a short blue spark arcs from the electrode to the snow globe.
The air smells of ozone to the point where I’m convinced I’ve burned out my nose hairs. The two men argue a bit between themselves in a language I’ve heard but never learned to speak. Then turn as they notice me.
“Nik, come settle an argument between your uncle and I. “ Dafyd says.
“Don’t know how much help I’m going to be, but I’ll do my best. “ I say, walking up.
“The kid has no idea what’s going on Dafyd. “ Colin says.
“I know, but we’re not looking for an expert opinion.
Nik, what year is it? “ Dafyd asks.
“1993.” I say without hesitation, “ What the hell? “ I add. My brain is a bit fried, but not enough to screw up the date by 30 something years.
“God damn it. “ Colin says.
“I knew it! “ exclaims Dafyd.
“This piece of shit is getting binned.
You look confused kid.
It’s called a gimmick. It’s the stuff side of what we deal in. Some of it, it’s two steps off of a horror novel. Most of it though, it’s just strange.
Figuring them out is 95% engineering and 5% esoterica.
They teaching you anything across the pond? “ Colin asks.
The question leads to a conversation, the conversation leads to a week of me shadowing the two finicky, strange guys.
I’d go into more detail, but as the days go by, things seem more and more like spending time with some out there branches in the family tree. As terrifying as everything has been, as terrifying as it is, it’s, interesting.
But I wouldn’t be writing if things were sunshine and roses though, would I?
One day, after working with objects that scared, confused and frustrated me in equal measure, I realized there was something I was avoiding.
So I found myself standing in front of Augustus, the creature held upright and immobile in it’s coffin-like cage. The Plexiglas window is cracked.
It's worse than I thought it would be. Every time I look at the thing’s face I see the blood it made me spill. I see the power it wields, and the murderous intent in it’s twisted pit of a mind.
But sometime soon, I’m going to be next to it again. I have to be able to keep myself together. I have to understand this thing as much as I can.
“Hey killer, how the fuck ya Doin? “ Augustus taunts. Shame reddens my fear paled face.
“Can we talk? “ I say, I want it to be a demand, it comes out as a whimper.
“What do we have to talk about, bud? What about this are you not picking up on yet? “ Augustus is smug, confident even while confined.
“How you seem to have this limitless ego, when you're being held by literally the oldest woman possible. “ I’m too scared to say this above a whisper.
“That dusty old wizard’s sleeve out there? She’ll fucking get hers.
Lucky bitch on a lucky day is all that was.
But luck runs out, and when it does, I’m gonna uproot your entire sad little family tree. “ Augustus threatens.
I actually take a step backward, and almost turn. The fear this thing causes, it’s more than the knowledge of what it can do, it’s a force in and of itself.
“Augustus, why not hear me out? “ I plead.
“Because kid, that’s not how this story goes.
I’ve got nothing but time, I’ll be around till the heat death of the fucking universe.
I don’t need to hear things like you out, I don’t need to bargain. No matter how airtight your inbred little clan thinks these bonds are, eventually, someone always makes a mistake. Something small, like a wrong angle on a rune.
Or…, “ as the thing talks, the door to the coffin like cage holding it starts to slowly swing outward, “ Something big, like forgetting to set the fucking padlock. “
I’m already running as he talks, but he’s standing in front of the exit before I can take a step.
He looms in front of the door, coat spreading, seemingly of it’s own accord, making the patchwork killer seem like some kind of twisted manta ray.
He locks eyes with me, I’m frozen, gripped in terror so intense I have no idea if it’s mundane or the aura of fear Augustus projects.
Those mismatched orbs burrow into me, I feel like this thing can see into my soul.
He inhales for an impossibly long time, a slick, menacing grin spreading across his leathery face.
“Yeah, today’s the day kid.” He says, a kick sending me across the floor like a smooth rock across the surface of a pond.
I’ve never felt pain like this, I try to stand, but my knee refuses to bend. I hit the ground and my ribs scream, I’m sure at least one was broken in the tumble.
I hear Augustus’ footsteps, my struggles to get to my feet are useless. Seconds in, i’m in literal crippling pain.
He grabs me by the throat, taking his time as he raises me above his head.
The look of joy on his face as I choke and struggle to breathe twists his features, for a moment he appears nearly snakelike.
He holds the tips of his claw-like nails against my stomach. Then draws his arm back.
“Don’t worry bud, I’m not just going to tear out your heart, everyone does that shit.
This isn’t going to be a sprint, it’s a fucking marathon. I just want to aerate the track a little bit before we start. “ His hand blurs and I close my eyes hoping I don’t last very long.
“Stop” I hear a deep, smooth, male voice say.
I hit the ground, and try to see who just stopped the beginning of my execution, but the pain, the cracked ribs, pulled muscles and long ragged scrapes have me seeing spots.
When my vision clears, I see a tall, blond man with impossibly angular features, dressed in an immaculate black and mauve suit.
His eyes try to look kind, but there is something wrong behind them. Something waiting to be let out.
“Who are you? “ I say, one lip, split and torn.
“You can call me Art. Arthur Deus if you feel like being formal.
But what you want to know, is why I’m here.
Well Nikolas, to simplify things, think of me as the older brother of the leering terror your ‘aunt’ has trapped here. “ As Arthur talks, I notice something, the motes of dust in the air are hanging still.
“I have no problems with you taking him. I haven’t seen you, I don’t know your name. Couldn’t stop you if I wanted to. “ I ramble.
Arthur holds up a finger, I go silent.
“If only it were that easy.
See Nikolas, your aunt and I, have quite the history. And as much as it pains me to admit it, she’s a crafty one, and has the means to make things very difficult for me.
Sylvia cannot know I’m involved, this is why I have an offer for you. “ As art says this, he waves a hand, almost dismissively.
Like a switch being flipped my pain stops, I watch as my wounds begin to seal and fade, amazed.
“What is it? “ I say. The words feel like they have weight.
“Sylvia is looking for someone to take over for her. As old as she is, she’s not immortal.
You’re her third attempt.
I’m not going to lie to you and say I care about what’s happening to the humans involved in this grim little spectacle. But I care about my family, and to a lesser extent, those like myself.
This bloodsport that your aunt is a part of, it’s vile. It’s world spanning, and it’s for nothing more than greed and bragging rights.
I want to change this. And I would like you to help me. “ Art’s tone is slick and confident.
“If I do, then you get him to back off? “ I say, pointing to Augustus.
Art looks dismayed for a moment.
“That’s not something I can really promise Nikolas. If anything could force him to listen to reason, he wouldn’t be in this situation in the first place. “ My heart sinks as Art says this.
“Fuck off Art. “ Augustus says.
Arthur rolls his eyes. They seem to go just a little too far back.
“But what I can do, is have a conversation with him, impress upon him how important it is he works with you. “ Art pats me on the shoulder before turning toward his sibling. His hand is impossibly hot.
“This kid dies, that is not my fault. You’ve seen this shit, he’s not built for it, just bust me out of here. “ Augustus isn’t far off of pleading in his tone.
“You know that’s not possible. I cannot let Sylvia know I’m here. But given time, I will have you out. “ Art assures.
“Fact remains, this kid gets on the wrong side of a blade or a fuckin, werewolf or something, that’s not on me.
Even if he manages to keep his lungs in his chest, look at him. His mind is cracking, he’s either insane or God-damned, catatonic in two months. “ Now Augustus sounds like a cocky piece of shit again.
“Of course, if he dies, or succumbs mentally, that’s not on you.
But I want you, to make a promise to me. I want you to understand that this child cannot be harmed by your hand. “ It sounds like Art is talking to a five year old.
Augustus shrugs before replying.
“The fuck you want me to say? You know me, you know I can’t say I’m not hurting this kid. And I sure as hell am not making a promise about it so you can get you-know-who involved when nature takes it’s course.
Fuck this kid, get me out of here.”
Arthur sighs and turns from Augustus , walking to me.
“Nikolas, I have something to tell you. “ He says, there’s a gravity to his tone that clearly makes Augustus uncomfortable.
“Art, what are you doing? “ The Trenchcoat wearing creature asks.
Art kneels bringing himself eye to eye with me.
“Don’t do this. “ Augustus says.
“Then promise. “ Art replies, a few seconds of silence go by, “ As you can see, I cannot guarantee your safety Nikolas.
But, for his own good, I want to tell you a word, one that will make my myopic brother look at things a little differently, if the need arises.
I’d use it sparingly, it’s not meant for those like yourself. It will have a physical, mental and spiritual toll. But it might spare you the worst of his excesses. “
That word was the last thing Arthur said to me. With a staggering, disorienting lurch, time began to move forward.
It kept moving forward for the next month.
I learned a lot over that time, but, not what you might expect.
As it turns out, there is a hell of a lot more engineering, physics, and chemistry involved in working with the supernatural than, summoning circles and newt eyes.
But eventually, the day I was dreading came.
The venue was a strip club of all places, a massive building, on the outskirts of Norwich, gaudy neon lights illuminate a place that, unlike the theme restaurant, seems to be in active use.
There was a different ambiance this time. The folks milling around the rune etched Lucite box seemed more sedate, and a hell of a lot richer.
The lighting was professional, driving music sets a professional sports tone.
This time I walk in the cage of my own accord. It’s not pride, or bravery, but simply knowing, I have no choice.
The roar of the crowd stokes my fear as Augustus slowly opens the door of his coffin-like vessel.
He loves the attention, his grin both horrifying and genuine.
“Guess we’re in the big leagues now, eh, killer? “ Augustus prods.
I’m sweating. I’ve cut a little weight over the past month, unintentionally, but as I wonder what horror is going to come walking in the other side of this cage. I don’t think being in marginally better shape and having a working knowledge of basic engineering is going to do me a lot of good.
Suddenly the crowd is silent, lights illuminate a spot at the far end of the massive Lucite box.
She’s small, slight, and has grey, lifeless skin. Her eyes are massive, her body beautiful, but exaggerated to the point of looking cartoonish. She’s not wearing much, a small t-shirt and what I’ll generously call a bikini bottom.
Beside her is a massive, brick slab of a man, late twenties or early thirties. His eyes are wild, he’s covered in layers of scars, and burns. He wears an old, worn prison uniform that’s never seen a washing machine.
He matches her strange, boneless stride, with a loping wolf-like gait.
“Entering the ring, you know her, you love her. She’s the Vixen of the void, The Nymph of nothing, Norwich’s own, ‘Sweet’ Francis Anne!
And at her side, brought in at great expense from the land of Twinkies, cheeseburgers and weak beer, The Corps Killer, the Military Mangler, with 24 out of ring kills and 36 in, ‘Big’ Billy Speck! “ an announcer screams.
The crowd bursts into life, noise shakes the walls of the cage.
“And, on the other side, I don’t know, some wanker in a Trenchcoat, and a kid that isn’t even old enough to be here. Let’s watch them die. “ He finishes.
Augustus looks enraged, his teeth chatter, he flexes his clawed hands. I walk in his shadow as he advances to face the creature and her second.
“I know you! “ The grey skinned thing says, her voice high pitched. As she speaks I notice what appears to be a thick scar bisecting her from forehead to stomach.
“Never heard of you. Neither will anyone else after this. “ Augustus says with a grin.
“You’re the runt of the litter right? Royal blood but peasant flesh, that’s what they say, no? “ Francis says, she grins a toothless smile. The inside of her mouth, a black void.
“Fuck my family. What I am is as good as meat gets. I give myself power, all you have is a cosmic std. “ Augustus stares Francis down as he talks.
Francis reacts with nothing more than a coy look. Bill stares down at me, the handle of some large blade sticking out of his right pocket, and a short length of chain wrapped around his left forearm.
A buzzer cuts through the roar of the crowd, the world seems to consist of nothing more than myself and the horrors around me as the timer begins to count down.
Like a flash Augustus leaps at Francis, but her body stretches and contorts as she moves, he never gets close.
I tear myself away from the clash of unnatural creatures as I look to the mutilated killer in front of me.
I didn’t come in unarmed, but I also was expecting another kid. And wanted to avoid what happened last time if at all possible. My heart races as I pull the small black can from the pocket of my worn, grey hoodie.
For a second I feel like a badass. I’ve got the can of mace aimed and spraying before Bill can react.
Four seconds tick by before the can is empty, Bill is soaked in thick yellow liquid, it runs down his face like tears.
The psycho doesn’t even blink.
“You good? “ he asks before slapping my outstretched arm aside and shattering my nose with a backhanded blow that seemed almost an afterthought.
Augustus screams in frustration, moving faster than I can track, but not able to put a scratch on the amorphous, rubbery woman.
Bill uncoils the chain, and I feel a sudden deep, crushing pain in my chest. I stumble backward, coughing. He laughs and whips the chain out again, I manage to see the next blow, but have no way of stopping it.
He manages to hit the same spot, the pain is overwhelming, my lungs feel bruised, I can’t breathe.
Francis seems to have grown bored avoiding Augustus, he pants, sucking wind as she stands in front of him.
That scar splits, not fully, but from forehead to the bridge of her nose. What’s behind it, is nothing.
I mean that in terms so literal, I can’t describe how it looked. It was more of a feeling that a sight. Looking into it, made me understand just how empty something can actually be.
Pieces of Augustus’ skin and flesh begin to, simply not exist. His look of confusion lasts for about a second before he’s sent sailing through the air by a long, whip-like arm.
The trenchcoat clad creature extracts himself from a tangled mess of tables, chairs and debris. Francis and Bill laugh, mocking us.
“Let’s trade dance partners” Augustus says, his two handed shove launching my broken body into Francis.
She catches me, her body absorbing the impact.
Fear is making me hyperventilate, physical trauma is turning that into a wheezing pant that feels like being waterboarded.
Francis looks down at me, violence and seduction in her eyes.
“Make things easy for me and I’ll let you go out with a bang. “ She says, the look of carnal violence on her face makes me gag.
Augustus struggles with Bill, the creatures wounds many and severe.
A minute remains, but I don’t know if I can last another ten seconds.
Francis stretches one arm into a thin tendril, it begins to circle me, caging me into a progressively smaller area.
“I’m sixteen, you paranormal nonce. “ I blurt out, the pain from my broken nose almost making me pass out, “ That’s the word they use around here, right? For the kind of creep that gets supernatural powers to hit on a kid? “
I can’t run, I can’t fight, all I can do is try to distract this thing for another 42 seconds.
Her face begins to turn, shifting and warping into something resembling a cattle skull more than a person.
The wet snapping noise distracts both Francis and myself.
Augustus has his hand buried in the chest of the convict, he holds the man aloft for a moment.
Augustus says something in a language I can’t even guess at, and with one fluid motion tears the black, decayed heart from his own chest and replaces it with that of the killer.
He begins to scream, then laugh, wounds spraying ichor, he seems to swell, his face a mask of pleasure and Ill intent.
“Death machine just needed a new engine. “ Augustus says with a cackle.
Francis forgets about me and lashes out, quite literally, at Augustus. Limbs becoming a frenzied blur of snaking flesh, , destroying anything they so much as graze.
He wades into the storm, flirting around the edges of the cage, making her chase him with the lethal limbs.
The conflict is a blur, but at the 23 second mark I see it. As much as I hate the prick, I’m almost impressed.
She’s tangled, somewhere among the bent stripper poles, and doorways to private booths, She’s caught herself.
Augustus takes his time now, her body is stretched thin, looped around door handles and under stages.
Ten seconds left, Augustus is feet from her writhing, blob-like form. Her features pulled taught enough to be nearly non-existent.
“Takes a lot to open yourself up doesn’t it? “ Augustus says, kneeling, he holds the killer’s knife in one hand, “ Why don’t I do it for you? “
The blade is barely touching her flesh as the timer ends.
“Fuck’s sake! “ Augustus says, standing, and letting the knife fall to the floor.
Something about the way he walks to one end of the Lucite cage worries me.
“Nobody likes a draw, but as far as they go, that was one hell of a kiss to your sister, wasn’t it folks?
No one is defeating our lovely lady of legend, but let’s hear it for the man who tried… Trenchcoat! “ The announcer screams over the loudspeaker.
The crowd is on their feet, bets are being paid out, and two groups of people are trying to open doors conveniently barred by flesh no person is going to get through.
I jog up to him, my body screaming at me every step of the way. He taps along one clear wall.
“Cheap runes. “ Augustus says, before driving his fist like a spear through the Lucite.
The hole he makes is about the size of a watermelon, his hand easily going through all six inches of the wall.
But it’s not big enough to accommodate the body of the poor twenty something he drags through.
In an instant the man is flensed, his small bones broken, eyes, ears and jaw, nothing more than a smear.
But he’s still alive, wailing a haunting death bellow as he struggles to understand what just happened.
“Stop! “ I scream, horrified. Blood sprays from my ruined nose, “You think I won’t say it? “
Augustus slowly cocks his head, punching his fist through the wall again, and tossing another victim beside the first.
“In front of your family, and that aunt of yours? You think this is bad? The shit she’ll do to you if she knows you even looked at my Dangerous Brothers looking prick of a brother will make this look like a massage.” Trenchcoat pauses, letting the reality sink in, letting my absolute lack of power envelop me like a blanket, “ You want me to stop? I’ll give you something no one else has, a choice.
Either finish one of these pieces of meat off, or, have a taste. “
He brings his hand back for another strike, and I make my choice.
No, I’m not telling you which one. I can share a lot of things with you guys. But, I’m sorry, how I picked to save the rest of the people in that place is a shame I’m going to carry on my own.
Don’t know if any of you will want to hear from me again, after knowing what I’ve had to do, who I’ve had to deal with, but I’m going to keep posting. This is getting nothing but worse, and maybe, I can save someone else the same fate.

PROLOGUE - PART I
Sergei: Phone rings - Takes a bite of his club sandwich and checks the screen, and rolls his eyes.
Andrei: Looks at him with a grin "It's her isn't it?"
Sergei: Finishes chewing and takes a sip of Mountain Dew, then answering the call "I thought you were in Boston today.
Natalia: "What, to get a Samuel Adams and a fucking potato? Get real! This is serious. I'm on a layover in Baltimore until 2, and then it's over to JFK. Did you get those pics I sent you, baby?"
Sergei: Furrows his brows to Andrei who saw the pics
Andrei: Smiles
Sergei: "Yeah, I got them alright. And I've got to say, that was fucking nice. How much were those? That shit was fucking golden!"
Natalia: "Well, you know, baby. It doesn't come cheap but Haji was able to pull some strings with Customs and talked to his uncle at the consulate. One thing led to another, and he got your dad exactly what he wanted for Christmas. Even got you and Dre an extra box for the party.
Sergei: Grinning now "It was fucking perfect. You're a doll for that one, sweetie. Dre loves them to, Right Dre?"
Andrei: "They're God damned tits compared to that cheap Honduran crap." Lighting a Cuban cigar with a wooden match
Natalia: "Well, enjoy. Look, I've got to get moving. I gotta pick up something to eat before I catch my next flight."
Ralphie: Walks into the kitchen with his Xbox headset on "Fuck you! Yeah? So's your mom! What? I'm straighter than the pole your mom dances on, you fairy!"
Sergei: "Damn it, Ralphie! Manners." Whispers "Your stepmom is on the phone."
Ralphie: "Shit." Yells "Hi, Nat!"
Natalia: On speakerphone "Hiiiii Ralphie! Did you get the thing I sent you?"
Ralphie: "Yes, Nat. It's fucking rad!"
Sergei: "Ralphie! Language!"
Andrei: Takes a puff and chuckles "He's going to be a rockstar in no time. That's an original Fender Stratocaster!"
Sergei: "Yeah, my Jimi Hendrix over here…." Picks up a magazine and fans the smoke away as he walks into the living room for a more private conversation and tosses the January copy of Fortune 500 onto the couch "Natalia, look. I know we haven't got a chance to see each other, but I miss you, so God-Damned-Much…" slides open the patio door and steps out onto the balcony "It got me to thinking, you know. It's been what two weeks since we," Pauses and smiles, beaming "went to that crab restaurant and you were wearing that dress, and we went back to your place and-"
Natalia: "Yes, Serj, I remember…" She said with a giggle "and that cute waitress with the rack was hitting on you in front of me the whole time. She's lucky she was so hot, or I wouldn't have tipped her so well…"
Sergei: "Well, you know. If you were that into her we could have had her over to your place too, for a little minage et toi"
Natalia: "Slow your roll there, cowboy! I don't like pussy that much. Speaking of which, that bitch Shiniqua at the office did her nails again."
Sergei: *Frowns* "Doesn't she spend like $300 on her God damned nails every fucking week?"
Natalia: "Well she can afford it." Sighs "Bitch is fine as fuck and she knows it too. That's why she's so stuck up."
Sergei: "Doesn't she have that hot sister, what's her name?"
Natalia: "Oh! Right. The one you fucked before we got together. How in the Hell do you not remember her name?"
Sergei: "Oh, come on Nat, it was just a one night stand, and I was drunk, and she was persuasive…"
Natalia: "Serj, and hoe with titties is persuasive enough to get you in the God damned sack. Seriously, stop thinking with your fucking dick for once."
Sergei: "Look, I'm sorry babe. It's about business. Her uncle works the State Department, right?"
Natalia: sighs annoyed "Yeah, he's like a secretary or liason to the adjuctant or something like that. Why?"
Sergei: "I need you to see if her sister, what's her name with the nails?"
Natalia: "Shiniqua…"
Sergei: "See if Shiniqua can get me the goods on his boss. I hear the guy is really connected with mineral extraction firms, and I need to find out about that oil rig off of the coast of Juneau, Alaska."
Natalia: "Seriously, what the Hell is so important about some nosebleed rig off the coast of Juneau for crying out loud?" Loudspeaker blares in the distance "Look honey, I've got to catch my next flight. Can we do this later?"
Sergei: "Okay, but the next trime you speak to her, I need you to ask her if she can schedule a meet and greet with her uncle at the next banquet at the yacht club. I'll buy him and his wife a damned table. Seriously, though. We need to get him on board before the Governor's ball."
Natalia: "OKay, okay. I'll do it. You'll be lucky if that stuck up assed hoe goes for it though. She'll want something in return, and it'll be about more than just her expensive ass nails."
Sergei: "Okay, whatever she needs, we'll pull the strings to get it done. I love you babe. Have fun in New York…"
Natalia: "Yeah. And don't go getting shithoused at the bar with Andrei and end up plowing some floozie while I'm gone either. I'll cut your fuckin' balls off, you know…"
Sergei: Sighs while pinching his nose "I know. Love you."
Natalia: "Love you too sweetie. I'll call you when I get to my hotel room."
Sergei: "Okay baby. I can't wait for you to come home next week…"
Natalia: "More like your dong can't wait for this ass next week!"
Sergei: Laughs
Natalia: "Yeah. That's what I thought. Byeeeee!" Hangs up
Sergei: Leans against the railing on the balcony and takes a deep breath of the cold and crisp night air, before heading back in.
Andrei: "Good talk?" Putting out the cigar by cutting the end off with a cigar cutter and putting the cherry into an ashtray
Sergei: "She said she'll talk to her coworker about getting Brett to sit down for a meet and greet."
Andrei: "It's important, Sergei. His boss works for the Foundation. You won't find a record of his involvement anywhere in State Department files."
Sergei: "Seriously?"
Andrei: Chuckles "They don't friggin exist! Remember?"
Sergei: "Right…"
Andrei: "If we can get a sit down with him, he can get us connected to what's under Juneau. Once we've got access to that, we can step up the next phase of our operations."
Sergei: "And What the Hell is so important about fucking Juneau of all places anyways? I thought it was just a stupid oil rig."
Andrei: "That's not all it is Sergei… It's what's under the sea floor. The "Thingy" they uncovered when they were drilling."
Sergei: knits his brow "What in the Hell is the "Thingy"?"
Andrei: Tucks the stogie into a glass cigar case "That depends." whispers "Do you believe in aliens?"
Sergei: "I think you've had too much to drink, Uncle."
Andrei: "I kid you not."
Sergei: "Get out of here. No way!"
Andrei: "It's just rumor for now, but if it's a match for what the Old Gaurd found in Enurmino back in '25…"
Sergei: "You mean…"
Andrei: "Da."
Sergei: "So the legends are true then?"
Andrei: "No fucking joke."
Sergei: "Like," looks around then lowers his voice to a whisper "like Lizard people?"
Andrei: Looking around, puts his finger to his lips and nods
Sergei: mouths the words "Holy shit!"
Andrei: "Yeah that's what I'm saying. God Damned dinosaurs! Very rare. One of a kind."
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Chapter I - Todd is a brave man... Baltimore, Maryland - February, 2nd 2008
Lance Corporal Todd and Professor Chaos milled about in front of the kielbasa stand munching down some dogs with kraut, and washing it back with lemonade.
LCpl Todd: "Maaaan. A Milkor only holds 6 grenades at a time, that's like over 300+ cultists armed with HK MP5s, M4s, AK-47s, .50 Cal damn nests in the lobby, and fucking Scar heavys for the buildings security forces, not counting RPG-7s with thermobaric to take out vehicles and personnel and shit, and God damned stingers on the rooftops to take out fucking choppers in my immediate fucking AO. How in the fuck am I supposed cum dumpster that many shitheads by myself when the shit goes down? This isn't even a standard M32A1 for fucks sake! What South African shithole did they get this piece of junk from? Literally, Bill's Discount Firearms Emporium? Do I clusterfuck their shit into a quadruple cross and let them know they're ripping each other off now? Could cause a Mexican standoff and resultant shootout. That would be convenient, or do they fuck and fill my holes with bukkake and sacrifice me first? This is fucking clown shoes man. Fucking clown shoes... Fucking cults, man."
That plaza was relatively clear of cult operative activity which was focused on the front lobby of the building across the street and a block away.
Lieutentant Dan "Gator" watched the cams feed from the van.
Lt. Gator: "Look shitbreath, you gotta keep your balls on the prize. The SCIP is the prize. Nuts to butt and keep that fucker in front of you and use him like a God damned meat shield. If he gets popped we're fucked, so don't let that shit happen or Skippy Peanut Butter Company hits us with a O5 containment clusterfuck of crunchy dildos, and the last thing we need is Domo Arigato Mr. Roboto's cyborg service from fucking Styx singing "Come Sail Away" and Shanghai our asses on the Highway to the the God Damned Danger Zone. You know what they do to cornholes there for the fuckups? "
LCpl Todd, muttering under his breath, swiveled back toward the dogs cart, as a suspicious group of college aged/military aged males strolled by, being very chalant and looking around. Professor Chaos took point and fiddle fucked his blackberry absentmindedly while looking out of his perhipherals.
Lt. Gator: "Are you listening Top Gun? Fucking Use peanut boy Downtown Charlie Brown as a God damned salami sandwich and keep those fucking cookie monsters the fuck away from the Winnebago. Also, do NOT let anything happen to him and keep him in proximity. Got it? Also, where the fuck is Gunny? He should've been back with the Dominos to throw pepperoni at this motherfucker 5 minutes ago..."
LCpl Todd: "Just gotta ask, Maverick...err. Gator. Why in the living fuck do we keep using Sesame Street lingo?"
Lt. Gator: "Because the sick motherfuckers plow kids and post it to the deep web on a God damned website called motherfucking Sesame Street. Weren't you at the brief?"
LCpl Todd: "I Was, but I had to take a shit for like 5 minutes, so I guess I missed that part..."
Lt. Gator: "God damn it, Lance. Eat some motherfucking peanut butter crackers from the vending machine next time. It'll make you fucking constipated so you don't have to blow ass during God damned brief."
Gunny Wilson: "Boy, the fuck is wrong with yo' ass? Keep that Cookie Monster Lord summoning muthafucka the fuck away from my camper! The last thing I need is for Charlie Brown's cock holster to barf up a God damned queef spell with some Wizard shit on it during my mothafucking engagement, and end up pissing off Skippy and Jif management enough to pop us with God damned orbital bombardment. Ask that piece of cultist pedophile bait if this is where he saw himself being at the age of twenty six."
Professor Chaos: "Just another day, living the fucking dream, Sir. Seriously though, This is fucked up."
Gunny Wilson: "I swear, if Otis Spunkmeyer goes kamikaze with the Sesame Street Brigade, the God Damned Cookie Monster and Oscar the Grouch murder hobo legion lurking in the shadows of every storefront will start to go apeshit-. Mothafucka, are you listening, Gator? Tell Terminal Lance to get his ass in gear and keep those motherfuckers away from my ride! Put salami sandwich at the front on his exfil and this shit better go fucking swimmingly. If that motherfucker cum guzzles some motherfucking lead monster sperm on my watch, Corpsman will not be able to patch his bitch ass up in time, and it will be Hell on Earth when the shit stain bukkake brigade gets their way. Here's your motherfucking pizza, you fairy asswipe. Don't touch my Dr. Pepper..." He said taking a fat slice and gobbling down most of it in one breath.
Corpsman Bill: "Damn, Gunny. That was sexy! Here's your fucking bones for the pie, that's two Dubs and some coins, aaaand what in the flying fuck is Yui Hirasawa doing crossing my God Damned Street again? That's the third time in the past twenty minutes. Seriously, what the fuck is that shit? That better be a motherfucking Gibson Les Paul Sunburst in that God Damned Guitar case on her back and not a fucking cache of P-90s. Scoping that fucking loli, and she's got Azunyan-Chan with the God damned violin case, wait, correction, that's a fucking cello case, and they're lugging that shit to what I can only assume isn't Mugi's grandma's house. Looks like they've been pulling music and concert cases out of that minivan in front of the plaza, and parked it directly across the street from Shitbag Central. "
Corpsman Bill: "I swear to fucking Jesus, if Mugi shows up next with a motherfucking canvas wrapped tube slung over her shoulder, I'm going to assume it's a stinger launcher and not a fucking digeridoo. They didn't use a digeridoo in motherfucking Fua Fua Time, and if that's not a trio on their way to motherfucking Juliaird, and they're going all renegade Natalie Portman in Leon the Professional, I'm going to have a bad fucking time."
*Pulls the Multispec scope up to 10x*
"Checking that shit out, and it looks like Hokago Tea Time over there is up to no good. What the fuck Gator? Look at the backscatter X-ray on this shit. They're kitted out and ready to do the fucking dirty. What lolicon motherfucker called Pizza Hut to hire the three 20-30 somethings for a Lolita hit squad on our dry run?! This is bullshit. Are those bitches Triple Canopy or what? Hoes better not be motherfucking Speznas either. What in the fuck, Mugi's mean muggin the Bago. She's looking right at me. Did we get made? God Damn it. Who the fuck are they? Are they Langley?
*'Mugi' discretely flips him off where only he can see it*
Corpsman Bill: "Motherfucker... That fucking does it!"
Gunny Wilson: "Oh yeah. They're here to party, Bill."
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Chapter II - Light Music Club Isn't fucking Around Baltimore, Maryland - February, 2nd 2008
After flipping off Corpsman Bill, Eight flung her hair back, she ties it in a ponytail, and turns to walk back across the street.
Number 8: "Can you hear me fuck boy? That's cute with the K-on bit, you fucking lolicon scumbag motherfucker. Yo Six, you hear this fuckwad?"
Number 6: "Yep, dumb motherfucker forgot about the CrossCom uplink with Cent. You're on a hot mic with local AO dickbreath, the rest of your team is solid."
Corpsman Bill: "Awe fuck me running", Bill muttered.
Number 8: "You ready to do this shit, or are you just going to be oogling us through your pervert scope with your dick in your hand, cough, Fag."
Lt. Gator: "Now, now, ladies. Please contain your orgasms and homicidal ideations. We're all on the same team here."
Number 6: "Eat a dick, Lieutenant"
Number 5: "Six, knock it off. Let's play nice with fuckboy brigade and get this fucking show on the road. Culty asswipes are crawling all over the fucking place here. Read?"
Number 6: "Copy that, 5."
Number 5: "Good. And for the record, Corpsman, your knowledge of K-On is fucking uncanny. Do you wear school girl dresses in your mom's basement?"
Corpsman Bill: "God damn it, I don't have to take this shit…."
Number 5: "Whatever weeb. Anyways, here's a SITREP. Something pissed off that cult leader dickhead Otis Spunkmeyer aka Russel, and all of those Oscar the Grouch motherfuckers are looking out for someone big to show up. Looks like they're expecting VIPs. You know what that means?"
Lt. Gator: "What's that, Five?"
Number 5: "It means, Lieutenant, that the fucking cookie monster fuckwad brigade is going to be distracted for the next 13 minutes, and those child sacrificing cultist dickbreaths will be looking to brown nose to make that fucker Russel happy. Seven, you see anything pretty from your nest?"
Number 7/Overwatch: "Negative, Five. Looks like the Sesame Street convention is waiting around with their dicks in their hands for the moment."
Number 5: "Copy that. Look, Gator. You see that corner office on the 17th floor? That's where shit weasel extraordinaire is supposed to have the meet with whoever is showing up. We can't get a good read on audio because the motherfucker has white noise on the windows. Some culty garbage metal band we never fucking heard of. Laser mics aren't going to do shit for now. We need to find a way to get ears inside that room, and three quote unquote 'high school girls' aren't about to get fucking railed by fucking nasty walking into that fucking heathen's nest. Got any bright ideas?"
Lt. Gator: "Can you have someone from cent do a brush pass with a listening device?"
Number 5: "Got motherfuckers from cookie monster brigade already looking out for that shit. We had an informant within their perimeter security already, but he got popped in the fucking tart two hours ago. Apparently he wasn't properly indoctrinated in Serpent protocol, and got interrogated by a proselytizer. That's when he slipped up. Now that fucker Russel is keeping an eye out for interlopers and apostates. This shit is going to get a lot more difficult to get someone on the inside."
Lt. Gator: "Please tell me you've got a solution, Five…"
Number 6: "We could cause a power surge and overload that floors breakers, and kill the noise, but that would just piss that fucker off and they would hold the meet in a different room. We need that fucking window so we can pop a visual from the spider drones we have set up on the surrounding buildings."
Gunny Wilson: "What I wouldn't do for some noise cancel right now."
Number 7/Overwatch: "Yeah, no shit. We didn't deploy until about 45 minutes ago and we're late to the punch bowl. We've got 12 mins until mystery VIPs drop by, so we've got to get this shit figured out fast."
Lt. Gator: "Copy that five, we'll work on a solution, give us a minute"
LCpl Todd: "How about we send Charlie Brown aka Professor Chaos in there, Gator?"
Lt. Gator: "Negative, Lance. If those fuckers ID him it's fucking curtains. Gunny, got any bright ideas?"
Gunny Wilson: "Wait for the VIPs to show and tag one of their entourage with a listening device from across the street."
Number 5: "Can you pull that off, Gunny?"
Gunny Wilson: "No can do, Five. Will have to get danger close, and those Oscars and Cookie monsters will be swarming the VIPs on the lookout the minute they roll up."
LCpl Todd: "Well, why not tag one of the VIPs with a sticky? Overwatch, you got darts or what?"
Number 7/Overwatch: "If I don't get him on something thick, he'll feel it tag him as soon as it hits him. If they become wise, this shit cavity becomes a hornet's nest."
Lt. Gator: "What do you think, Five?"
Number 5: "It's the best option I've heard so far, so fuck it. Yeah."
Lt. Gator: "Okay, so tag one of the VIPs the minute they step out of the motorcade. If we're lucky, the greaseball fuckwad is wearing a fur coat."
Number 7/Overwatch: "Copy that. And speaking of greaseballs, there they come now. ETA 25 seconds. Looks like they're hauling ass."
Number 5: "Yeah, guessing Otis Spunkmeyer's got these motherfuckers on a tight schedule. Time it right, we only got one shot at this..."
Number 7/Overwatch: "Yeah, on it. Looks like it's the towncar... Ready for joy"
*The three vehicle motorcade pulled to a stop in front of the steps to dirtbag haven. Four armed guards hopped out of the lead and rear vehicle each, and the driver hopped out of the VIP middle vehicle and opened the door.*
Number 7/Overwatch: "Aaaaand holy motherfucking shit. Look who the fuck is popping out..."
Lt. Gator: "Oh fuck. That's Senator Calvin McCoulough. Standby..."
Gunny Wilson: "He's the Executive Director of the Weyland-Yutani fuckwad brigade, right?"
Number 7/Overwatch: "Take the fucking shot or not?"
Number 5: "Fuck that. Tag his ass!"
*There was a muffled click as the dart tagged the senator on his shoulder pad, just as his driver closed his passenger side door behind him. The dart was no bigger than a tailor's pin*
Number 7/Overwatch: "Bug's on his jacket"
Lt. Gator: "Audio confirmed. Let's see what this fucker does..."
*The senator's cell phone trilled and he pulled it out of his pocket. He stared at the screen momentarily and answered*
Senator McCoulough: "Yeah? No. Not a good time Brett, I'm about to be in a meeting with someone very important. Yes. I know, they usually do. Yeah, I know. I'll have to call you back. Yeah. Bye." He then hung up the phone and slid it back into his pocket.
Number 5: "Overwatch, you get audio too?"
Number 7/Overwatch: "Confirmed, Five. Looks like dickbreath was talking to 'Brett' so and so. We'll have Cent dig in and find out who the fuck that is..."
Gunny Wilson: "And there they go."
*Four of the armed guards followed Senator McCoulough from behind, while four led the way.*
Number 6: "You know who his goons might be working for, Lieutenant?"
Lt. Gator: "They don't look like secret service or PMC, let alone your typical Guidos. Look what they're wearing. Those are wool overcoats and tweed jackets. You see that fuckwad in the front, doesn't he look familiar?"
Number 5: "I saw that same motherfucker inside of Royal's Bank in the executive lounge... What the fuck is going on?"
Command: "Five Actual. This is command."
Number 5: "Go ahead command."
Command: "Stand down."
Number 5: "What the fuck do you mean, stand down?"
Command: "Do it. That's a fucking order."
*Five mouthed the words "Fuck" without uttering a sound*
Gunny Wilson: "What the fuck, command?"
Command: "That's above your fucking paygrade, Gunnery Sergeant. Scrub the God damned OP. NOW!"
Gunny Wilson: "What the-"
*Gator held his hand up to Gunny and they exchanged glances*
Command: "What the fuck is the hold up. Scrub the fucking mission and abort, or I'll put all of your asses in Leavenworth."
Lt. Gator: "Copy that, command. Standing down. You all heard him. Party's over."
Gator and gunny exchanged glances, and Lance stared at 5. The fire in her eyes could melt steel. The audio recording was still live from Senator McCoulough's bug as they made their way to the elevators. Shortly after the doors closed, the signal cut off. Using hand signals, 5 threw up two fingers to 7 in her nest. 7 Nodded. Gator and Gunny saw this on cams and said nothing. When the elevator doors to the 17th floor opens, the audio signal from the bug cut back on...
Command: "I don't think I've made myself abundantly clear. Abort the fucking mission. Lieutenant. 5. That means kill the coms too."
Everyone shook their heads and muttered strings of epithets. Lance yanked out his ear bud and 5 crossed her arms, looking across the street at 6. 6 threw her hands up. Gator then threw his headset on the counter in the van. "FUCK!". 7 Spit out the Grizzly wintergreen tucked in her lip, and muttered, "Shit on a fucking biscuit..."
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Had a horrible fight with my husband, we had been drinking. He left and I took 4 mg zanax (I usually don’t take them if I’m going to drink). I called the Samaritans and they asked my address then abruptly hung up. Not 10 minutes later 7 fire fighters, 2 paramadics and a cop showed up. I was taken to hospital and after 4 hours given the all clear.
My question is as I’m sure the hospital will send my chart to my gp. Is he likely to wean me off them or stop them altogether? I’m in an enormous state of anxiety this morning and I don’t have an appointment until Wednesday .
I take the resposible and usually 1 month will last at least 6 weeks. I’m not a dope fiend just a 63 year old lady navigating life until timer is up.
Thank you for reading.

Okay, so, I have been perusing a lot of ADHD subs lately, and I need help.
I have Finch, but I need a lot more friends! (Tap the link to add me to your Tree Town or add my friend code T9882QTFNS. https://app.befinch.com/share/vyJq ).
Also, it has only been a few days, and I'm worried I will forget about my finch. Any tips for remembering?
I have Goblin Tools (I paid for it, too). I love the spiciness breakdown of tasks, but I also... like... set tasks and ignore them? Or I'll break them down and get started and then forget to open the app again to do anything?
I have tried using timers, too, but I always forget.
I started using Focus Plant, but then it became a struggle to get enough water to grow new plants and the waiting became so long that I just... stopped.
Now, I've had two med increases the last two times I went to my psych (every 3 months). I still can't seem to do anything.
I'll delete reddit, then, an hour later, download it again. I'll disable the play store and delete reddit, then re-enable the play store and redownload reddit. Or I'll spend my time on Facebook or Instagram or Tumblr or Pinterest. No matter how many times I download them and block them, I keep using them.
I can't even focus on a television show. I can't work for more than 20-25 minutes at a time, with or without meds, with my phone turned completely off and in another room.
What else works for you ladies? Please help!
ETA:
Things I've already tried:
-turning the phone completely off
-leaving the phone in another room
-setting it to greyscale
-using Digital Wellness to set a limit
-using focus timer (Focus Plant)
-trying Pomodoro method
-breaking things down with Goblin Tools

I personally cannot fucking standing Medicare and Medicaid part d, b, fucking all of it. They’re more a pain in the ass than commercial insurance. We have a high amount of stimulant patients are my pharmacy and majorty have commercial insurance but the few of these fucks that do have state insurance.. oh my god. For example a lot of patients want name brand adderall. Most prescribers will put DAW1 brand medically necessary I’ll still get a rejection code and I’ll have to call Medicare and explain to these morons that it’s rejecting for the daw code, it’s needs an overide and tells me to call them. This lady asked me to take off the DAW code and to run it without that and I explain to her that it’s illegal to do that, it’s called insurance fraud. This lady ARGUES with me over my fucking job and how to do it. I can’t express how much I cannot stand insurance reps that have no idea what in the hell they are talking about. Cannot fucking stand state insurance plans that refuse to work with you. On another note I cannot stand these old timers that can’t simply understand some medication and or medical supply’s are NOT covered by that branch of Medicaid. Having to arguing with an old person that is so ignorant just makes me wanna tear my fucking eyes out on the job.

Bumble has to be the worst dating app on the app store! Along with Tinder, POF, Meetme, etc.
The whole goal doesn’t even work in reality, a large majority of women that I match with never message me first. When I ask, they say they don’t like sending the first message even though that’s the whole point. Of this fucking app. If, your not gonna message first after liking somebody and just let the timer expire. Then why the fuck even bother giving a like and giving an average dude false hope. Thinking he has a chance. Since we know our dating culture is pretty awful. Dating apps make it 10x worse. No matter how good you make your profile. It's all gonna be based on how you look like. If, you can't pass then who the fuck is care to read your biography. Let's be real here.
If, I do get a message, it’s just low effort or not even trying. Just a basic ass. Hi or if they’re feeling they wanna try it's just a plain hey. If a man did this shit. They swipe left on us on the dollar. On the spot! Then they all complain online that we men are the "Dry" one like WHAT lady.
The bee line seems to make people up half the time! Even if you find a good profile. They never like you back since most of those apps only men who are physically attractive already. Are the only dudes that get any traction or succeed. While you wait 6 months or longer to even get a decent match. Because everything is based on appearance. Sorry to break it to you but, anyone who says that they go by personality is more and likely full of shit. Not trying to downplay the ones that actually stick to that statement but, the large majority on this app. Doesn't give a fuck about your personality. If, you can't pass there appearance standards. I really wish a large majority would stop lying to men about it.
Most of the people on this app are either Entitlement, Promotion or their Onlyfans, Instagram promotion, Talking about there last trash relationship and "Finding themselve", etc. the list goes on honestly. I could go on and on and on.
I'd admit I'm pretty average (based on socital norms). In the National Guard working my way to E5 and becoming warrent officer. I have a huge plan in my life and I know what I want in life. I have had my own sister and her friends look over my profile and fix it that's needed. Still hasn't gotten any traction. It takes months for me to get anywhere on the app like everyone else that's in the same position as me.
Just need to vent. Been on this app for long while. Anyone have anything to add on to it. That I totally forgot to add on to this list.

I found that reading others people stories were helpful before my first procedure, so here I am to add mine.
45F sent in for standard baseline colonoscopy due to guidelines. My grandfather had and died of colon cancer, but they said I didn’t need it any earlier than the normal 45.
I had sutab prep ordered with instructions to stop my iron pills 7 days out. Also, I was to eat a low residual diet for a week prior, which I did. I also ate 900 cal diet three days out of prep to help ease my hunger and help with cleanse. I feel like it did help, because with all the fluids, I was not hungry.
Prep day my instructions said that I could eat toast with a banana, which I did. After that I had bone broth, 2 clif blocks (margarita flavored), lime jello made with ginger ale, lemon jello made with iced tea, cherry Gatorlyte, two popsicles and sprite. That was all before prep started.
5pm I started taking the pills with regular water mixed with one “real lemon” packet. I set a timer and took them every 1 1/2 minutes and walked laps around my house in between to distract myself. Got them down with little to no nausea, but I started to get a bit queasy about 15 minutes after. I just distracted myself and it went away. No bathroom activity until after I drank my 6:20 water. After that, I was in there off and on until I went to bed around 10pm. Mostly liquid the entire time.
Woke up at 12a to start round two of pills. Followed the same as the first. Was in bathroom off and on until 3am. I tried to get more sleep, but did have to get up a couple of times to go again.
45 minute drive to hospital. Left at 6am and did have to stop at the rest area once. Went again when I got to hospital. After I was checked in I got into prep area and had IV hooked up. Everyone was so nice and pleasant. The nurse that was to wheel me back was cracking jokes and made me feel completely comfortable. When she asked if it was my first time, I said yes and she replied well I guess you get the song then. Assuming she meant the proverbial “song and dance”, I didn’t think much of it. Well, when I got wheeled into the surgical area I was introduced to three other ladies that were to assist. And yes, they sang me a Happy First Colonoscopy song to the tune of Happy Birthday. It was hilarious!! I cannot say how this put me to ease and made me feel right at home. I hope I get the same crew next time!!
Speaking of next time. The doctor that did my procedure was very nice, kind and helpful. He did find a larger polyp that was wonky due to its type and placement. He did say that it was precancerous. It was near the beginning of my colon where it connects to the appendix. Due to its placement I will need to go back in a year to make sure he got it all and for a double check.
All in all, not a terrible thing to go through to find and remove something that could have killed me! I’m so glad I braved it out and got it done!!