Hi there! My husband and I will be taking our honeymoon in Ireland this June for 10 days. We have made a very loose itinerary, as we don't want to be too stuck to a plan in case we see anything or hear of anything that peak our interest.
I have combined our first 2 days there because all of it is in Dublin, we arrive at about noon, and after we get our rental car, get to the hotel, and all that jazz I don't know how much time we will have to do item specific things.
We are super active so the hiking won't be too much for us! Please give me all advice, ideas, and tips you may have to help make this an amazing time. Also, and recommendations on restaurants in the areas we will be would be great!
Day 1+2 Dublin- National Botanic Garde, Guinness Storehouse, Book of Kells/Trinity college, Kilmainham Gaol, Sunset at Howth Head(thinking this will be on day 1), check out interesting stores, and head to airbnb in Wicklow(end of day 2).
Day 3 Wicklow- Ballinastoe Woods, White Hill, Djouce Mountain, and Powerscourt waterfall.
Day 4 Wicklow- St. Kevin's Way Hike 16.1 miles and then head to Doolin.
Day 5 Doolin- Burren Perfumery, The Burren National Park, and Doolin Cave to see the Great Stalactite.
Day 6 Doolin- Hike from O’Connors pub to the cliffs and back. Head to Galway and check in then get dinner there.
Day 7 Galway- Hall of the Red Earl, Galway Cathedral, and Katie’s Cottage Museum & Claddagh Arts Workshop.
Day 8 Galway- Paddle Board- Rusheen Bay, check out Salthill, head back to Dublin.
Day 9 Dublin- St Stephen's Green, Little Museum of Dublin, and Shopping.
Day 10 Dublin- Go home.

I think my mom might have schizophrenia So, I’ve realized I have delusions and I’m not really sure how to explain it. I definitely don’t see it in the moment but looking back months or years later I’ll say, “Damn. That was some nonsense.” I remember how I was completely convinced that what I was obsessed with was real beyond a doubt, and how it wasn’t just a belief but like the most important thing to me. I’d get so obsessed it would take over everything in my life.
This happens a lot too, but I’ll think or know I did something, only to check why someone hasn’t responded and see I never sent the message. Even if I remember doing it, there’s evidence that I didn’t. I was diagnosed with DID, OCD, CPTSD, and depression. I’m starting to think DID and depression might not be true. I only have bouts of real depression every so often now, and it’s almost always for a pretty solid reason, like when my brother died or when I broke up with the love of my life. But when it happens I’ll just go numb and stop functioning.
I’ve also had what someone described to me as “word salad,” where what I said or typed out was nonsense. When I looked back at the message I sent, I couldn’t figure out what I’d been trying to say, either. And for did, sometimes I don’t switch for a long time and then I almost forget I have did. But then I think, no. My alters definitely exist as souls living in my body. That’s real. But then someone said it sounds more like delusion than actual DID.
But onto my mother. She’s always been very religious but over the years has become scary religious. Like, “I’m sinless because I have no belly button,” “I can hear God’s voice, he gave me a spiritual gift,” “I can speak in tongues,” and the classic her saying she saw visions of angels. She also became badly addicted to prescription pain killers and started hallucinating. There was an incident in a restaurant a few years ago where she thought a bug was in her food and she “stabbed it” with her fork.
Then she lifted the fork and waved it around and yelled for the waiter in anger. It was pretty awful, she made a huge scene and couldn’t be calmed down. Another time she hallucinated worms crawling all over her floor and made me “clean them up.” Then she yelled at me for kneeling bc the worms would burrow into my knees. She thought she had parasites in her brain too. Sometimes she’s convinced that I did something bad, or meant something that I didn’t, like she sees interactions that aren’t there or interprets words/actions as attacks. She can’t be convinced she’s wrong, ever. Even with clear evidence.
So, all of that to say, I asked on my dad’s side of the family and apparently they have a lot of serious mental illness on that side too. And what I’m worried about is that I might be in the beginning stages of schizophrenia. I’ve hallucinated before, a few different times. I experienced severe child abuse for a good portion of my childhood, I had a psychotic episode after a Frankenstein of a psychiatrist put me on 6 different psych meds, I had childhood epilepsy, and I know I’ve had delusions. My current therapist is great, but she’s more of a spiritual/natural remedy type person. When I told her about the hallucinations or when we switch the body/dissociate, she almost always tells me it’s from lack of sleep.
TL;DR: My mom shows signs of schizophrenia and I worry I might be at the beginning stages. I think DID was a misdiagnosis and maybe my ‘alters,’ as real as switching and they feel, might be delusions. Their voices might be hallucinations. I’m not sure. I just want to talk about it, really. I’m very isolated. My mom thinks I’m bad and that I deserved getting beaten but I didn’t do anything bad this time and I was legally protesting, they enjoyed hurting us and I can’t talk to anyone about it bc my mom thinks I was bad and deserved it but I’m not bad and I didn’t do anything bad this time to deserve the beating, I feel like I’m screaming at a wall

[Posted in another group also] I'm disabled (I'm pretty stable on my feet, but I'm not up for super rugged adventures for now) and I'm in the midst of a long-running mental breakdown. I really want to get out for an overnight camping trip with my dogs. My particular mental state of the moment is having the wonderful effect of making it impossible for me to do the research I need to do to find a place. It brings on instant anxiety, which leads to panic if I don't stop.
I need as close to something specific as I can get. The littlest bit of figuring things out is far too much for me right now.
I'm hoping for suggestions of locations or for other possible online resources to help me look. I'll take the campground too, so any suggestions along those lines would also help.

• I need a car-accessible campsite but I have no particular need for established campgrounds. I've done a lot of dispersed camping in the past, so if there are roads that have possible sites that you could suggest, that'd be great too.
• I need a reasonable road that's not 4-wheel drive. Dirt is fine, just not too much for my little car with manual transmission.
• I really want to see stars if possible.
• I'd also like as much quiet as I can get.
• Something less than two hours from Spokane

I have two dogs that I'll keep on leash. I can bring water and such, so I don't need campground amenities. I just want a simple overnight to start the season off.
This is a big deal for me. I've camped extensively in my life, but it's without fail been with friends and/or partners. I've never done it alone. My focus all my life has been on being a part of a pair or a group, and I've avoided focusing on caring for myself for the entirety of my 59 years. I'm finally learning what it's like to care for myself like I've always cared for others.
I want to learn how to be alone while camping and hiking, and the overnight I want to do sometime soon is the first step for me.
Thanks!

My LO is almost 7 weeks old. At 3.5 weeks norovirus hit our home. Our babe had a 101.5 fever and we rushed to the hospital. I was also actively sick at the time but we only admitted her. I threw up in the hospital twice, once at home beforehand, I was miserable but she came first. Then we were transferred to the bigger hospital 45 minutes away because they found bacteria in her blood. It was protocol to look and I thank my lucky stars they did, because she ended up having bacterial sepsis.
Thank the good lord above our daughter fought off the bacteria very quickly and we were there that long just to finish the course of meds. We still need to do one more blood test for a specific immunodeficiency disorder, but otherwise all her other blood work (other disorders, platelets, white blood cell count, liver, kidney) all look normal.
We ended up spending 2 weeks at this hospital that was 45 minutes away from home. I couldn’t just pop home when needed, I felt like a prisoner. I was freshly postpartum sleeping on a hospital chaibed and the baby could never nap properly because of all the commotion at the hospital. Our only saving Grace were the nurses. There were a few that genuinely cared about our well being and I am so grateful to them.
We’ve been home for a week tomorrow, and I’m still not ok. Most days I feel fine, but then there are days like today where she wouldn’t take a nap (away from me at least, she slept on top of me fine lol) until 4:45 in the afternoon. And I become a basket case of anxiety. My body still aches, apparently my tiny little surface level tear hasn’t healed, I’m having weird urethra pain that “she couldn’t see” so it must not be there, and I’m tired. Sure I’m getting 4-5 hours and my daughter sleeps through the night now (5-6 hour stretches) but I’m still so damn tired. I’ve always been the type of person that needed 8-9 hours a night. I’m also an extremely routined and tidied person. If I’m off my routine and my house is messy I am a ball of anxiety. And with a newborn…y’all know how that goes. Luckily I’m still able to keep the house somewhat tidy, I clean when she naps. And I’m trying to relax while my husband is home and taking care of our baby, but it’s so hard to not be “on mom mode” and just chill.
So yah, that is my extremely long anxiety induced essay that I realllyyyy needed to type out. Thanks for reading.

Every 6 months or so, I take apart the internals, remove the filter, clear out the grinder of gunk and just generally scrub away some built up fats that don't seem to dissolve and go away.
For reference, I've always used the generic powdered detergent. Jet dry as a rinsing agent (I dilute this a bit as I heard that the chemicals used aren't great for gut biome). And the one odd thing that I've experimented with is with disconnecting the heater element (to save electricity)
That latter point I did that for 10 or so years, as the hot water tank temp was set high. The build up was just the average, 'not that much considering no element'. 2 years ago, I hooked it back up, and ran it as OEM, and the machine got the water screaming hot, and melted a bunch of plastics that fell off of the racks, so I did something different and wired in a 220v baseboard thermostat to act as sort of high temp limit cut off switch. It was a bit janky in execution, but after some tweaking, it helped lower the max temp.
This last cleanout the machine was absolutely filthy. Usually the gunkiness is just at the bottom where the remaining stagnant water stayed, but this time it went all the way up to just below the tub/filter level, which isn't visible, but still pretty high considerning the depth of the motor.
I did notice that there was too much water in the base before I cleaned it out, so it is possible that the drain hose isn't aligned properly so that it drains most of the water.
But other than that, everything else is the same.
Yes maybe, not having the water as hot as standard might be causing some of the food gunk to not be properly taken care of by the detergents, but it ran fine without an element for years before that.
The dishwasher is about 8 years old. It's a whirlpool. Nothing fancy, plastic tub, but it's been fairly reliable for everything, including the last load I ran before I opened up the filter to see how nasty it had become.

Long story short, found a really talented writer who’s GMing (literally told them that I didn’t want them to) a world that SEEMS fleshed out (I think they’re making shit up as they go. They also have this crazy need for control for whatever they say goes regardless of what I want or might suggest), but they’re legit one of the rudest person I’ve ever written with in my 9 years of writing.
For starters, anytime I ask a question about something they get upset about it like I’m supposed to magically know. But when I asked for confirmation they refuse to give it to me or get pissy. When discussing refs for our characters, we spent an entire DAY because I had sent my refs and explicitly asked to see theirs. So they sent a bunch and I wasn’t too keen on any of them being paired with any of mine. It took them several hours to tell me that they had sent those refs for my character instead of theirs, and got annoyed when I shared I assumed they were for them because they only sent them after I asked for their ref.
But today, I’m nearing my limit. So it was going fine until it wasn’t. My character had finished fighting something with a SWORD to the THROAT so I described the blood that ran down the blade and out of the wound. Because of course, blood would be spewing out of a neck stab wound. But nope, they reply in another channel “Did I describe the blood?”.
So of course I asked “Would it not bleed?”.
And they reply with “They do but not there.” (For starters how the freak does its brain get blood then?)
So I was going to send quite a sassy reply but I opted to just say “I wasn’t aware of that.” Because again, they literally refuse to tell me anything.
They replied with “I can tell”. Like it’s my fault.
But it gets better. So we’re discussing my character’s rank in the military of this specific world and they keep making it seem like I chose a wrong branch or something so I scroll up and see that they’ve obviously edited the message to something entirely different. Where the role for my character (a frail, underweight character) is a “tank”. And a new rank had been added that has the description of the role I chose previously, alongside something that was set to be a given to them regardless.
So of course I bring it up, knowing the message had been edited. But I still took the initial step to take accountability for the off chance I did misread it and they say.
“You want to play with me with reading comprehension like that?” 😐as I’m typing this in typing a departing message because there’s no reason to be this rude. It’s a classic case of “I’m an above average roleplayer so I can be rude to anyone I don’t deem as an equal.”

So long story short….
My hubby has a 9 year old daughter. They Separated when she was 3. For 6 of these years their relationship (hubby and ex) was great, but has turned sour after the birth of my now 2 year old daughter, it goes without saying…
So much bullshit has happened, but basically the mothers bitter and doesn’t like me.. I have a particular career that involves dealing with people, she’s tried to jeopardise this and wrote false statements (I.e that I put my hands on their daughter, which were proven false and the complaint was dropped)
She has made family harm reports and provided false detail about what happened. I.e hubby tried to swing at her father, this never happened (I was there when the argument happened) and plenty of other brazen lies where that came from…
We’ve had to go through court because there has been no agreement that she’s stuck to or tried to engage in I.e mediation, personal contracts and agreements, literally them two just sitting down at cafes like grown adults to come up with custody agreements. All of this has been tried before court, which was our very last resort. But here we are….
We’ve been to court already and because She didn’t even provide a response affidavit until just recently, (she was given three months to respond, from when we applied, judge then gave her another month, which was over two months ago. So she didn’t even provide her response within the allocated timeframe) we’ve been called back for June.
In the response affidavit she’s said a whole bunch of things that aren’t true! Literally committing perjury. The only thing is, we can’t necessarily prove these aren’t true.
She’s said he
Called her 5 times trying to harass her about child support and complained about paying so much…. ( never happened )
A Family meeting ( won’t go into the realms ) that never happened
His mother literally taking their newborn child from her home without her knowledge, literally claiming the child was kidnapped (never happened, my mother in law is also deceased)
Our concern is The child is being manipulated biiiiig time and that the mother who’s now sworn an oath with documents provided to the courts, has flat out lied on her claims and what trips me is we can’t necessarily prove it! Argh! Or at least unsure how we would and how it works…
Meeting with a lawyer in a few days but this person can’t get away with literally lying on our name and character. It’s so concerning how confident she is in her lies! I mean, she actually believes it.
We obviously dint want to go thru with this, hubby has no record AT ALL and is an amazing father. All he wants is a set schedule to raise his daughter, it’s all he’s ever wanted. Mothers that do this to their child and the father, for no valid reason are the devils work.

Okay, so I’m kind of in the middle of a mental breakdown. In fact, I have been under intense stress for quite some time, and it’s really catching up to me.
As far as my work life, I work a stressful sales and marketing job. I’m about 8 years into sales, and I am definitely getting towards the end of my stamina in being able to do this…which I truly never should have been here, but I just kind of fell into it (I got a BS in psychology in 2016, and wanted to do something with mental health/social work. Everyone my parents age talked me out of it, ie, ‘you won’t make enough money,’ etc.). I’ve decided to go back to school this coming winter to get a MSW, and it’s LONG overdue. I have a career coach who told me she doesn’t know how me, an INFP, has lasted in sales so long, not to mention how I’ve performed so well. But thinking about doing this sales job for another year, let alone the rest of my life, makes me feel nauseous.
As far as personal life, basically, what ISN’T going on? My dog, who was my rock and my best friend, died gruesomely and unexpectedly in January. My car has broken down 3 times in the last 3 months. My grandpa also died late last month, and I haven’t been able to see him in 5 years due to family drama. I’m coming off a really shitty financial year of 2022-23, where I had to quickly quit another stressful sales job, and ended up racking up $10K in credit card debt, while working dead end jobs to try to survive/pay bills (I’m finally almost done paying it off). Essentially, I ended up making almost $100K/year but absolutely hating my life, to only $30K, and still hating my life. Not to mention, I’m 6 years deep into a medical FTM transition, and my closest family still continues to purposefully misgender and disrespect me. To say I’m stressed, and I have been for quite some time, is an understatement. If it weren’t for my amazing girlfriend, idk if I’d have the strength to still be here.
Normally, I’m able compartmentalize both Work and Personal life, but lately they’re bleeding in together…and it’s getting worse. I’m barely getting any sleep, and when I do, I have disturbing nightmares. I physically cannot get out of bed until 8 am, and I’m barely a functioning adult until 11 am or Noon. I have almost zero appetite unless it’s the occasional Taco Bell or McDonald’s splurge, which isn’t good for body, or wallet. My TMJ is so bad that I sometimes can barely move my jaw. My heart rate is consistently about 105-110 BPM when I’m resting. I honestly feel like I could snap on the next person who looks at me funny, which isn’t like me - I’m NOT a confrontational person.
I go to weekly therapy. My therapist told me that I should apply for FMLA. However, part of me feels so bad for doing it, as my boss is so overwhelmed. She also has a shitshow between work and personal life, and I hate to think adding more to her plate, especially with how good she’s been to me. She knows everything that has been going on with me and is very supportive. My therapist said that while he knows how I feel, that I can’t keep going on the way I have.
I have been diligently meditating and working on my emotional regulation since COVID, and I’ve deleted most social media, and it’s definitely helped. But this is a stress load that I need something more. I feel like if I could just have 1-1.5 months of not having to worry about work, and just resting and being able to catch up on personal shit that has been piling up, I can get back to some sort of ‘baseline’ where I can be a functioning adult again. I honestly feel like if I keep going down this path, I could have a stroke, and even that I’m overall shortening my lifespan.
Idk why I’m posting this. Maybe I just need some reassurance that it’s going to be okay, and that I’m not a bad person for taking care of myself. Help??

fmla #needadvice #mentalhealthleave #mentalbreakdown

Hey everyone,
I need some advice on a really tough situation my family is going through. My dad (53) and mom (50) are currently divorcing. For some background, my sister (24) and I (23) grew up dealing with verbal and physical abuse from our father, while our mother just stood by. We’ve always been a very dysfunctional family. It’s the kind of household where my parents should have divorced much earlier but never did. I never once heard my parents say "I love you" to each other or saw them kiss. From my and my sister's perspective, our dad truly hated our mother, and she just tried her best to get him to love her.
Growing up, we always thought he was bipolar because he would get into manic cleaning states where he’d constantly yell at everyone. We had to walk on eggshells around him as he would start screaming over the slightest mistakes. If my mom had an opposing opinion, he would instantly start screaming and calling her all sorts of curse words. More recently, we’ve determined he is a textbook narcissist. He sees himself as the victim and blames everyone else for all his problems. From his perspective, it’s my mother’s fault for the divorce because "she treated him horribly their entire marriage", and my sister and I always treated him horribly, which justifies why he screams. To this day, he refuses to admit that he used to hit my sister and me despite child services being called on us twice for showing up to school with bruises. My sister currently lives with our parents, but I moved out when I was 17.
My dad has made several poor financial decisions by taking mortgages out on the family house to buy secondary properties. At this point, he has taken out four mortgages on the family house. One is used to pay for a vacation house, which is nowhere near paid off, and another is being used to purchase another rental property. My mother recently got a large raise at work and multiple five-digit bonuses, and my dad took the money and bought more things for himself. This raise makes it so that my mother is earning equivalent to my dad.
My dad keeps threatening to take everything and leave my mother with nothing because she is trying to take 50% of his pension. His pension is valued at $3 million and is the only thing of real value; every other asset just creates debt. He is trying to force my mother into taking the family house and taking over the four mortgages on her own, the mortgage of the vacation house, and the payments for the new rental property that is being purchased. All while not giving any of the pension money. The paperwork for the pension specifically states that it is a family pension, and my mother is entitled to 50% as she does not have a pension of her own. My mother won’t be able to afford the family house on her own and will need to sell it because of the divorce. She doesn’t want to move but will have to, and my dad wants a portion of the money from the sale.
My sister and I have discovered that my dad has been having an affair with a married woman with two kids (12 and 15) for almost a year now. We do have proof of the affair. We are currently debating informing our mother about the affair or threatening our dad with the knowledge that we know, so he needs to stop trying to screw over our mother. My mother is refusing to get a lawyer, and we’re just trying to figure out how to get her the best outcome and not have the final act of her marriage be getting screwed over by our dad again.
Any advice on what we should do? Should we tell our mom about the affair or use it as leverage against our dad? How can we convince our mom to get a lawyer? Any help would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks in advance.

I(F21) got cheated by my boyfriend M(20), with his ex and 2 others girls. None of the were physically or sexual, but it’s was flirting and pretending to be single. His ex was during our talking stage, we were almost a couple but he was playing games with her and talking to her, and the other girls he meet in games and started talking to them. He used certain words and emojis which triggers me whenever I hear or see it (example: I want you)(I missed you)(I love your voice)(I love your name), but I gave him another chance. I forgave him in January and gave him chance. I keep falling in love for him, but it feels one sided. He’s sweet, but when we argue or when I have trust issues he gets meaner, annoyed and avoidant, and I keep overthinking everything just waiting to get cheated on again? His ex is with his “friends” 24/7 playing games which makes me insecure, because what if he plays with her again. She stalks me a lot too, on every platform which makes me suspicious. I feel like I’m checking on him constantly to see if he’s cheating on me or not. I also found out that his email was receiving bumble notifications, but he said he never had bumble. This was around the time I forgave him. My head is a mess, and I don’t even know how to explain all this. I don’t know what to do, I love him so much, but I’m a very depressed person. I’ve tried before.. and I feel like this relationship is going to be the end of me. I don’t even know if he actually loves me or what he wants with me at this point? I’m driving myself insane. I’ve self sabotaged so many times and broken up with him more than 4 times but he takes me back each time? I want to believe that he cares for me, he would buy me anything and give anything if I asked, but all I is too want feel loved so bad. I feel like a lesson or a placeholder to him, and it hurts because I’ve been in multiple relationships where I been wronged and I left instantly but I’m not able to here? I feel so unloveable by guys? It always been an ex or another girl? Does anyone have advice?
Sorry if it’s messy my head is a mess.

I recently moved into a newly constructed home in Ontario. When I had a Roger’s technician come out to install ignite internet I learned that the fiber cables had not been installed so they cannot proceed with the installation. The company that is im charge of doing the work (contracted out by Roger’s) has an open service order but they are unsure when they will get to it.
There are no other internet companies with service in the area and I was told that the builder cannot do anything to help the situation.
I don’t know how the builder was able to let us close on the home without the proper telecom installations. Is there any action I could take against the builder or Roger’s?

This whole post is coming from someone who used to be considered an ENFP due to social norms, and used to be a people pleaser (might still be one). I'm just letting you know since I used to be quite professional when talking to people.
Anyway, I've come to terms with who I am, so I don't feel like putting on a mask just to be perfect for people. But since I'm protecting my peace, I realize now that sometimes I have to wait for people to approach me for conversation. Which is fine, but I also want to talk to people I find interesting or willing enough to have a conversation with.
If you haven't guessed, I'm socially anxious. I don't know or feel comfortable enough to approach people without turning on that people-pleaser mindset. I also know that first impressions are important, so if I don't kiss a little a**, I won't get brownie points from them.
But If someone walks up to me, I take it as "they're interested in me so I don't have to entertain them since it was their decision to approach me in the first place".
I already recognize this is mainly a self-esteem issue because if I were more confident, I wouldn't have a problem just walking up to people like I used to. But it's hard to get out of your bubble like that, so I just need some tips or any experiences you, the reader, may have had to get through to things like this.
And please give me some actual facts, instead of trying to diagnose me or provide me with therapy.
TLDR - I just need some tips on how to talk to people without putting on a mask because it's pretty exhausting.

Do you ever have childhood nightmares or dreams? As for me, at a very young age, I always got nightmares whenever we watched something scary or even just a mention of ghosts. Where I grew up in the Philippines, there was this fantasy show that we watched as kids. Thinking about it now, it's kind of creepy. Whether it was about fairies or friendly ghosts, I still got creeped out and had nightmares about it. There was this nightmare of mine that traumatized me as a kid. You don't really remember your dreams until you're eating breakfast and it suddenly hits you that you had a nightmare before waking up. It's about this island. Imagine the town/island where the Teletubbies are. That one, but imagine it with brown grass instead of green, complete darkness instead of the baby sun, and instead of open space, it's filled with creepy trees. All I remember is running towards that forest and something chasing me. I couldn't look back and kept running. I could feel the trees snitching on my location until I stumbled over a big root of a massive tree. There's a scratch on my knee and I can feel it sting. With my petite body and out-of-breath lungs, all I did was stare at my bleeding knees. I wasn't crying, but I know I was scared. *Dum...dum...dum.* I could hear it, not in my ears but in my heart. It seems like my heart is synchronizing to the vibration. I still don't know what's out there, but I know I should be running away from it. I saw a silhouette walking towards me slowly. It's big, but not giant big. I close my eyes and then suddenly I am awake, lying down straight like a person in a coffin.
I never talked to anyone about my nightmares. It's normal to have nightmares, but the people around me are saying that it's not normal for a kid to sleep straight like a dead body. I never really took it seriously. I kept having weird nightmares of running in a dark place again. I still don't know who's chasing me. When you are a kid, you have very vivid memories of what your childhood was like. Mine is filled with nightmares. I did still enjoy my childhood and yet still able to be a 'normal' kid. I had plenty of friends, played in the street, and did such fun things. I still feel like something is missing and I tend to mix up memories with dreams. When you are a kid, you have such wild imaginations that you think it is real, but once you turn into an adult, you think that it's impossible for that to happen in the real world. That is just one of the nightmares that stuck in my head and that something I still dream about.
I remember having this dream, or perhaps something happened? Until now, it still confuses me, but here's how it goes. I was playing with my cousins and some of our friends. It was in the middle of the night, maybe 8 or 9 PM? I know it was dark, with streetlights shining through the street. Living in the busiest city in the Philippines, you would still see a bunch of people outside. We were playing hide and seek. I was thankful that I was not 'it' this time. As the seeker counted to 10, we all spread around and found a place to hide. I decided to hide behind a motorized tricycle, as we simply call them tricycles (just Google what it looks like). One of my friends came with me, but I told her to go away as I didn’t want to get found. She ran off and found another place to hide. I was chuckling, and I could still hear people around me talking and laughing, but in my mind, I just didn’t want to get caught. I didn’t hide far away from where the seeker was; I could still hear him counting 'and… 10.' Suddenly, everything went quiet. I was quiet too, as I didn’t want him to find me first. I crouched back behind the motorized tricycle, and I could hear him walking far away from me. I sighed with relief. I heard that he found someone far away, as I heard one of my cousins scream in excitement because the seeker found her.
I chuckled.
I didn’t hear any footsteps, but I could see a shadow coming towards me as the tricycle was parked just below a lamppost. I slowly moved around to avoid being found, circling slowly and getting into the rhythm of the shadow. Now, there was a gap inside the motorcycle where I could see the other side. I slowly looked through the gap and, to my surprise, saw a figure looking at me. I got startled, but I didn’t scream. I stood up right away, and to my surprise, I was back there again, on that island. The tricycle that was in front of me became a tree. Not just a tree, but a tree with massive roots that made me stumble in my previous dream. I was confused. Even now, as I think of it, I know it’s not a dream, but it's getting weirder. My first thought was 'Where are my friends?' The figure I saw earlier was gone. I got out from behind that tree and searched around the forest for an exit. As I was running, I could hear mumbling sounds. I was a kid, and my brain was controlling this stuff, so I went and followed the sounds. One sound seemed familiar—it was my friend's voice—but it seemed like something was stuck in her mouth; it was echoing through the forest.
As the sounds became clearer, my eyes couldn’t believe what I saw. My friends and cousins were tied to the trees, their mouths covered with tape. In my mind, I had to get out of there because I was scared as hell, but at the same time, I wanted to help them. I ran to my cousin first, and as I was going near her, a figure appeared behind her tree. It had eight hands like a spider, but it was brown and shaped like a cockroach. It had a face like a human—technically an image of a human in a cockroach-spider-looking costume. His or her face had makeup that blended with what it was wearing, and it was smiling towards me; I could see its yellow teeth.
"We've looked everywhere for you," it said while slowly coming towards me.
I couldn’t speak or move. I was so scared. I wanted to cry, but I couldn't.
"Now we can start the game," it said in the friendliest way possible. "I won't hurt you or your friends. I just want to play," it added.
Being raised to be nice to everyone, I nodded. I still wasn't speaking.
"Can I get a hug?" it requested.
I nodded again.
It hugged me, and I could feel all of its legs on my body. The thing I thought was its costume? It was actually connected to it. It was warm, and I just closed my eyes. I touched one of its legs, and it felt sticky. Suddenly, I woke up and saw my grandma's husband staring at me, telling me to wake up as it's time for school, and then he left. I saw my left palm was kind of sticky, sweat, I guess. That's all I can remember from that time. I went to school and lived the rest of the day as a "normal" kid, still thinking about that nightmare. Some of my dreams are not all nightmares; they are happy dreams too. But what's stuck with me is that every time I have a nightmare, it's basically a continuation of the other, but it only happens once I completely forget about it.
Later that same year, I dreamt about it again, but differently. I had already made friends with this creature. It seems that I completely accepted it, and I was not scared of it anymore, but I was not happy either. There was something about it that still seemed odd to me, but I was just not reacting to any of it. We would play tag, hide and seek, and other games. As I noticed the place getting darker and darker, I also noticed that a few of my friends who were in my dreams were getting fewer and fewer until it was just us. It still kept its attitude, lively and happy to play with me. I asked it, "Aren't you sad?" It just kept smiling for a good 5 seconds and slowly frowned, answering, "Why would I? You are all I need as a friend." Then it started jumping around like those mascots you see in kids' TV shows. I remained the same, not happy, not sad, but I went with its flow.
I also noticed that before I woke up, it hugged me, like saying goodbye and at the same time inviting me to see each other again. There was something about its hug too. I could feel the warmth of its eight legs covering my whole body and its breath around my neck. In my dreams, I kept touching at least one of its legs. It seemed that it became a habit, and I could feel it sticky. I woke up again in a straight laying-down position, and my hands were drying, but I could feel the wetness. Then my grandma's new husband was ready to take me to school again.
When I was 9, my mom decided that my siblings, my dad, and I would move to my mom’s side for 3 years before leaving the Philippines. It was my dad's side where I kept having nightmares. I don’t get those nightmares anymore. Sometimes I miss them, and sometimes I wonder if they miss me too. I stopped looking for them. I feel like they went away when I started going to church with my strictly Catholic grandmother. We had to wake up at 6 am to prepare for church, and every day for those 3 years, we had to pray at 7 pm for an hour. We knelt in front of the saints' statues, and my belief in God strengthened. I forgot about the nightmares. I lived like a normal child, had a great childhood, had a bunch of friends, and grew up to be a decent girl. My mom announced that we were all leaving for Canada, and I just remember being so excited about it.
I was 11 years old when I and my friends were playing outside my house. I know I was still a kid then, even if my grandma keeps telling me to stop playing as I am already a grown woman (culture things). Our neighbour's are like aunts and uncles to us; I play with their kids sometimes who're the same age as me. We are all close to each other, even the adults. They treat us as their own since my mom grew up with them as well. One of my neighbors, whom I called “Tito” (uncle in Tagalog), called me and asked me when we were leaving for the Philippines. I told him soon, and he told me how I looked like my mom. I told him how much I miss my mom and how I cannot wait to see her again. He gave me a hug, and then my world stopped. This hug looks familiar. I can feel his breathing around my neck and the warmth of his hug. His hands are playing on my back, slowly stroking it. I swallowed and told him that I had to go since my grandma was probably looking for me. He let go and smiled at me. I just felt tears running through my eyes, and everything came back.
I was SA when I was a kid. I was SA by my step grandfather at my dad’s side. I feel like throwing up, and I can feel everything crawling toward me. I remember the first time he did it. When my mom left, he started touching me. As a kid, I treated him as a monster and just created these scenarios in my head. Even my childhood friends saw it, but since we were kids at the time, what would they know? It was inside the motorized trycicle where he was touching all over, but he said that we were just playing hide and seek and that he found me. It was then that I was so ashamed to play with my friends, as I remember one of my cousins stopping coming over because he started touching her too. The place is my dark place. Now I remember everything. I was so mad and angry. I remember that I would wake up in those positions after he touched me and felt my whole body. And remember the sticky thing in my hands? Yeah, it was his semen that he wiped away before I got to sleep, which is why whenever I am about to wake up, he is almost always there.
Now that I am in my 20s, I have tried to move on, yet the trauma still lingers within me. That monster died a few years ago, and his last words to me were, “Do you still remember me?”. I never had a chance to confront him. I opened up about my experience to a couple of my friends and gave advice to those who have experienced it too. I help those friends of mine who are still experiencing it and assist them in getting out of that situation. My only regret is that I was too afraid. I used to blame myself, but not anymore. None of it is my fault; I was just a child. I was not strong enough to keep my peace, still thinking that it is all a dream for the sake of my peace of mind. I wanted to apologize to the kid in me for not protecting her during those times, but I will never let that happen again to anyone that I know of. I now live in Canada, working in an office and happily thinking that my monster’s body is burning in hell. Thank you for reading. Please always watch out for whoever is watching your kids, your younger siblings, as you never know even the very person you trust can do massive damage to your loved ones.
What happened to me is not a dream or a nightmare. It's reality.

I am planning a 2-day hiking trip to Big Bear soon, after the snow gets lighter, perhaps near Memorial Day. I'd like to go on a hike on each of those 2 days. Things I am looking for include:

• 5 to 15 mile length
• No more than 3000 feet elevation change, less is better
• Dog friendly. If my dog can go off leash, that is a bonus
• I especially enjoy pine forest and meadow terrain. Best of all is when there are lakes or water sources along the route. Campgrounds are often found in such areas.
• Views from high elevation are okay, but not a priority for me. I'm more concerned with the other 90+% of the hike that does not have the views from high elevation.
• I prefer packed ground or grass terrain. I do not like terrain with loose or sharp rocks, such as gravel.
• I do not like walking on dirt roads. I want trails.
• Less crowded is better
• I prefer to avoid cyclists
• I enjoy seeing animals in their natural habitat, aside from rattlesnakes

​
Some possible options are below. Are there any of these or others that you would or would not recommend?

• Champion Lodgepole via Castle Rock trail and surrounding forest at top -- I've gone on this hike ~4 years ago and enjoyed it. Most people seem to prefer the Castle Rock portion. I wasn't as impressed with the rock, as much as was at the top with scenic lake and surrounding forest at the top. I would have enjoyed spending more time at the top and may repeat.
• Pine Knot to Grand View -- I also enjoyed this one. The forest area along the way up was really nice. I continued along the skyline trail at the top, which was just okay -- more rocky and less forest. I plan to skip it this time.
• Cougar Crest: 5 miles, 800ft elev -- Seems okay, wary about the many comments that mention terrain being "rocky".
• Grays Peak -- 7 miles, 1200ft elev -- Seems okay, doesn't have quite as good reviews as the other trails listed above
• Bertha Peak -- 7.5 miles, 1400ft elev -- Seems okay, a few comments mention rocky, but not as much as Cougar Crest. I prefer the pictures from Bertha Peak to Cougar Crest and Grays Peak by a small margin.
• Crafts Peak -- 7 miles, 1600 elev -- I prefer the pictures to any of the crest/peak trails above by a good margin. I also expect it will be much less crowded. Unfortunately it is located out of the way in Green Valley Lake. I expect I'll have a lot more total driving on winding roads to get there, even if I stop as a break on the way there/back.
• Jenks Lake + South Fork to Dry Lake: 11-15 miles, 2300+ft elev -- This would probably be my number one choice in 2020. I like how I can combined forest with lakes, and it being in a less crowded area. However, post-2020 pictures show a lot of burned forest areas, which I am not as fond of. I'm not sure if people just like to take pictures of the burned forest areas, or if it's going to be like that the whole way. These trails are off the 38. If I go to big bear on the 38 instead of the CA-18, it will add another 20 minutes to the drive. However, the 38 looks less winding than the 18. I am prone to motion sickness, and would gladly add another 20 minutes, if it meant fewer winding roads. It also could be a pleasant way to break up the long drive.

I (20F) was diagnosed around a month ago. I'm in college, came home an got diagnosis after meeting with a psychiatrist for a few months and haven't gone back to school since. I have told a few of my friends from school but just cannot deal with the guilt from actions when manic. I am very social at school, involved in greek life, etc. I have a friend group that goes out often, and there have been a few instances this year where I've been drunk and just said / done crazy, out-of-character things -- lashing out at my friends, going back with guys, using substances recklessly, just generally putting myself in dangerous situations (especially with guys) that my friends have expressed concern over but just chalked up to being a partier. Beyond that, I just have gone through phases of depression this year where I sleep through classes, self-harm, etc. Looking back now, it all makes sense; my lack of need for sleep, going months long periods of not being interested in anyone and then out of nowhere being hyper sexual and regretting it a week later -- literally everything I have experienced fits into being bipolar, but I was diagnosed with depression a few months into the year and just assumed that was it and I shouldn't look deeper. antidepressants didn't work, went off them, finished the year unmedicated and now here we are. Moral of the story is that my friends have seen the impact of my bipolar, especially my mania, and I just cannot figure out how to forgive myself and move past it. I texted the girls I live with a long apology explaining what was going on, and they were receptive and accepted it, but texted some of my other friends a very extensive apology as well and have not gotten a response. obviously not an ideal conversation to have over text but I haven't been on campus to say it in person and the guilt was actually eating me alive. I understand that no one owes me forgiveness and all I can do is take accountability and apologize, but I cannot forgive myself or move past this. I am also just spiraling over not having gotten a response and so scared that this will get out to more people in our larger social circle. I just feel alone and looking for any advice on how people move past manic episodes and guilt for how it impacted others.

Shooting myself in the foot first of all because I should know better than to walk into any vault at low level so imagine my surprise when I make it all the way to the end and my level 8 ass has to fight a Scorched in Power Armor. I died three times. 1st time, I challenged him with an upfront assault and quickly went from home invader to missing person. 2nd time, I blew all my stealth boys trying to take out his fusion core. It's fun being new, because nobody's really there to tell you these things don't work until you find out the hard way. My final stealth wore off and I received my test results, I'm 100% USDA Prime. My final death, let's just say user error. The upside is I now know how throwing grenades work. I return one final time and that's when I realize he never leaves his room so I position myself at the end of the hallway where his Gatling laser can't reach, and begin slowly hammering away at his ankles with my scoped .44 Revolver. It took just about 15 minutes for him to finally go down and I get jack shit for a reward. The only thing I'm truly upset about, I wanted that damn Power Armor. One hell of a learning experience, but maybe a minimum level pop up when entering certain zones.

I’m worried my brother is going to get violent
TLDR: how do I help my brother gain control of his anger before he hurts my parents and niece.
Wow, this is going to be a long post and I’m sorry if it jumps around. ADHD is a bitch when trying to relay information. My brother (36) lives with my parents and got custody of his daughter (6) last year. Her mom has several mental illnesses and my brother took her to court when she kept bringing a registered sex offender around his daughter and would lie about it. After a LONG process he won custody, she gets weekly supervised visits for 2 hours, and that’s about it. Around the same time my brother injured his back at his job working for a furniture store. He delivered furniture to customers.
A little bit about my brother: he’s forever been a hypochondriac, has horrible anxiety, and has now developed some elements of ocd personality disorder. Cannot function (and I’m using that word loosely) without getting high on a bong rip through the day.
About my parents (65): Our dad has been an alcoholic since before we were all born, undiagnosed ADHD, and most likely narcissistic personality disorder. Mom is….just mom. No addiction to drugs or alcohol, considers herself a “good, Christian woman” and I consider her an enabler and control freak, trying to control everybody’s addictions. She’s the main caregiver of my niece now, since my brother is often too high to drive and pick her up from school daily.
The situation: last year my brother took a macrodose of psilocybin and claims he was awakened to the reality of his situation. He feels like he’s been stunted in growing into an adult by parents who are absolute narcissists (I’m confused on how TWO narcissists could be married for 40+ years), he hasn’t worked since he hurt his back and has so much anger and sadness built up that he almost daily will lash out at everyone in the house. In front of his daughter he will tell my mom she’s stupid, she’s a sh*t mom, she’s a narcissist, and asks her how she let my dad’s drinking go on for so long. As if she controls it, which every single one of her past attempts to control it have failed miserably. He refuses to seek help. I’ve heard his rants before and they’re so full of malice and contempt and his arguments not based in any reality that I perceive.
Are my parents perfect? Absolutely not. But they have been really supportive and have always been there for me when I was in a tight pinch. He claims something entirely different. That they never gave him the skills to live on his own, they pit us siblings against each other (we have an older brother who only comes around on holidays), calls them idiots and worthless, etc. All of this severely affects his daughter, who dealt with this kind of crap when still living at her mom’s house. She adores her grandma and will always seek her out for comfort instead of her dad after their arguments have ended.
My question is: how do I help this situation? Do I need to get my brother involuntarily committed for 72 hours because I’m afraid he’s going to get violent with the people he lives with? I don’t fear he’ll hurt himself, but his rants have really escalated lately and I can feel his anger radiating off of him and his words. They feel like they can’t kick him out because he has nowhere to go, no job, and has custody of his 6 year old daughter. But they’re living in absolute hell. Could they keep her with them if he was asked to leave? I’m looking for some resources to enlist in helping him help himself and seek treatment mostly. But I am worried with the escalation of dysfunction too.

I'm a rising undergraduate senior moving to NYC on June 1st for a summer internship at a big bank downtown. This is my first in-person high finance internship, so I need help purchasing affordable work attire. I bought a cheap navy suit from Chaps last minute for an interview, but that's all I have. How many shirts and pants should I buy and what colors? Should I get another suit? (I was thinking charcoal). What about dress shoes? Any advice is welcome. Thanks!

Hi im called Rich. Im a 31 year old guy living with my demented grandmother. She is 95 years old. Ive been living and taking care of her since i was 17 agter my mom passed away. I dont have a father since he died when i was 3 months old. Living with my grandmother is hell. Abuse after abuse. She is also a narcissistic person but the dementia made her worse. She also has alzheimers and forgets stuff. Alot of stuff but does not forget faces and names yet. We are currently homeless but arein the process of goign into our new home which has 2 bedrooms. We previously lived in a 1 bedroom apartment and i had to dleep right nextto her everyday. Not something i wanted but it was needed considering our situation we were in back when looking for a home fast.
We are currently at my aunts house whos grandmas daughter and she has done things to help us while i was taking care of grandma. It was actually her responsibility to do it but because i was living with grandma and i was only 17 and didnt know much of what to do, i stayed with grandma till one day i said i had enough. I have cried for years to her and others abiut this but never really took her away from me. I didnt have a job because she kept saying i didnt have tocause she pays for everything which i always was grateful for and her teChing me how to cook etc and didnt want me to leave her so i didnt get a job for a long time due to living with her, preventing me from working on myself jobwise.
Im a shy guy so that can explain why too but also because grandma has instilled fear in me. Fear of people. And wanted to keep using me as a puppet. I would help her with evwrything i could yet she would still find ways to make me a bad guy. My life got worse to the point i wanted to even commit suicide but i did not because i needed to keep telling myself to not give into those thoughts that everything will get better.
Forward to now, like i said we are gonna be moving into our new home. Ill be getting my own bedroom finally after years of not owning one and that makes me realt happy cause i get my privacy finally. I am also going thru therapy because of the abuse i ealt with for years coming from grandma. All mental abuse. She has been diagnosed with dementia and alzheimer and im doing all the best i can to keep us afloat so we wont run out of money for food etc that we need. Thanks to my therapy i have managed to be better,control my emotions better and not react to her complaints.
We are dealing with my aunt because we are in her house for 3 weeks till our new home us ready since we had to leave the previous one, who is her daughter, not having much patience for her own mother the way i have patience for grandma. I believe its because in her childhood grandma has done things towards her daughter that made her have this sort of a rage towards her and still to this day. She does not like us being here but we had nowhere else to go and it is for only 3 weeks till the house i ready and so far we have been dealing with clashes between those 2 and im really tired.
Im posting this as more of a rant cause i know what to do and that is moving into the new place which is gonna be 10x better than before and i can actually now focus on working on jobs much better. Its jsut that i want my want to be more patient with her mother because she is demented and forgets a lot. Especially around money and cannot handle that anymore and ive been the one to be doing it for years.
Thanks to my therapy and being able to contrl my anger and my other emotions better, ive als decided to forgive my grandma for everythign shes done. I know its hard to still be with her but i have a more of an open mind abiut this now that im going thru therapy and it makes me think much clearly now and ahead.
My aunt wanted to throw her in a home against her will and i was not ok with that because i wanted to give her the professional help she needs and help her get into a daycare so she can havemore people to talk to andbe less lonely. My aunt did not like that at first but because everyone else agrees with me on this, she had no choice but now she wants to put rules and stuf yet she wasnt the one that took her mother in her home and took csre of her. It was all on me to do it because she saw the chance that she didnt have to take care of her herself and that i was wiling, she threw it all on me. So now im dealng with my aunt trying to make all these rules and things and even insulting me saying im not fit for takign care of grandma yet she is the one with all this rage towards her own mother.
I really feel like my aunt needs therapy at this point to help her with the rage but i cant force her in any way to do it and i will never do that. Its all on her now and i hope that during the time we are in her house she can be more patient with her mother and me. We pay her for food and power and water already which is no issue. The issue is the clashes between these two and its annoying me.

I (32f) don’t understand why men just feel like they must know better than I, a lowly female. I went to the doctor to deal with an issue. I knew what the problem was since I had to stop taking a med due to dental surgery and now needed to have new drugs to ‘catch up’ and then go back to normal. However I got stuck seeing a male doctor (70+) as opposed to one of my normal female doctors and it was the worst experience. Nurses went through everything with me and had no issues with what I needed and were going to handle it until this guy steps in because he is the doctor. He proceeds to do an entire exam and then tell me that what I want was going to be a bad route. He wanted to me to do an entire procedure because if I was his daughter I’d be doing that. Told me that my way was going to be painful and I’d be home all weekend long completely bedridden. Said procedure was easy and they just put you to sleep handle what is needed and then you go home with your caretaker. Few issues, 1. I was by myself and had no one who I could call to be able to come meet me and drive me home after nor would I want to inconvenience someone with that when I DONT NEED A PROCEDURE and 2. I am terrified of any type of procedure where you are knocked out. I said no, I want to go with my original plan of extra dose of meds here and then be on my way, I had dealt with it before and I could deal with the pain. This doctor laughed at me and said ‘ok we will see if you are saying that when I see you back here in 2 weeks.’ This man had no idea of the medical issues I’ve dealt with nor the trauma I endured the last 2 years of my life. Achy joints weren’t going to kill me. He did finally just give me what I needed but of course explained the instructions for how to take a pill every 4 hours to me 3x. I did spend my Saturday night in bed with some heating pads but honestly the ‘rona shots gave me worse side effects. It just really annoyed me that this man tried to get me to not do what I wanted to do, what I had done in the past when I had issues like this, because he knows the pain a female can handle and this was going to be just too much for little ol me. If it was just to be like, listen what you want is fine but as a medical professional I just want to let you know that I wouldn’t recommend this because a b and c but it’s your choice, I’d have no problem. But the audacity of this 80+ year old man acting like he was my father and knew best for me really pissed me off.
Just a note: obviously I’m very vague with what my medical issue was. To give an example of what I’m trying to explain but not using my exact condition, imagine you take a medication to help with joint pain, you had to stop taking it for a few weeks because it would interact with a drug from dental surgery. You go to doctor to ask for a cortisone shot to alleviate the pain as you start taking the meds again to be normal. He decides no, the effects from the shot are not worth it and would rather knock you out to go in and clean around the cartilage in the joint to fix it. Despite you have gotten the shot before and are aware of the side effects and know you can handle them.

Long story short, my roommate and I have had an ongoing conflict about her boyfriend being over. We made an agreement about how long/often is appropriate for him to be here initially when they started dating, but it’s one that she hasn’t abided by in the slightest. Considering how much he is here, he very much should be pitching in for rent/utilities, but I never forced the issue until I realized she had no interest in respecting my boundaries or the fact that I am on the lease also. I guess somehow I am now the enemy in her eyes now because I don’t want a third roommate that I never agreed to having.
So last month, I split the utilities bill in thirds and asked her for 2/3rd, to compensate for increase in utilities/shared items that go a lot faster now that he stays here most of the time. He never contributes to anything. Now, she’s ignoring me, through text and in person, and I’ve sent gentle nudges about the utility bills being due and offered to talk to her about it if she has any objections or questions - still ignored.
I’ve paid it all myself to avoid late fees, considering utilities are in my name. And the next utility bill is due in a week, but I haven’t asked her since she’s still ignoring me and refusing to pay me for last month. Unfortunately, we do not have a written agreement about how things are paid so I know if I eventually wanted to take her to small claims (if this continues), I have no recourse. I did text her and say we should sit down and write out a roommate agreement, and she has ignored that as well. This is just the beginning of her increasingly weird behavior since she’s gotten a boyfriend (which isn’t worth getting into)
I don’t want to be reactive- more so trying to play play chess not checkers here. She pays the rent with a check to our landlord and I just zelle her my part of rent, but I was considering subtracting the amount of utilities that she refuses to pay when I send her my part of the rent.
Maybe I’m thinking too hard about it, but I don’t want a paper trail or something that she can somehow use against me in anyway that I haven’t been “paying my share of rent” if I continue to just subtract the utilities she won’t pay. Legally, could this bite me in the ass somehow? I’m only worried because I’ve ended up in housing court before and some things I didn’t think through with dealing with other roommates irresponsible behavior ended up biting me in the ass cause on papeaccording to the leasing contract I did something wrong.
Any advice on how to handle this? Could this possibly be enough of an issue to raise to my landlord and break my lease? Everything was fine before she got this boyfriend and it’s like some switch went off and she’s being very cold, inconsiderate, and weird, which isn’t super unlike her but it gets worse as time goes on. Don’t think I can handle 9 more months if this but I refuse to let her bulldoze my boundaries AND refuse to pay me money she owes.

Hi -
I have code that is structured as a function that advances the computation a single step and then iteratively applying that function until I get an answer - like this:

step :: (a, s) -> (a, s) step (a, s) = ... g :: a -> s -> r g a s = somethingThatProducesAn_r . head . dropWhile somePredicate . iterate step $ (a, s) 

I find this code fairly easy to read and to think about since step is basically an a -> a sort of transform that I can just keep applying until I have a solution.
Nevertheless, I thought I'd experiment with currying the step function and got:

step :: a -> s -> (a, s) step a s = ... g :: a -> s -> r g a s = somethingThatProducesAn_r . head . dropWhile somePredicate . iterate (uncurry step) $ (a, s) 

which in turn starts to look a lot like the State monad. If I then decide to move to using the State monad in step I end up with

step :: a -> State s a step a = ... g :: a -> s -> r g a s = somethingThatProducesAn_r . head . dropWhile somePredicate . iterate (uncurry $ runState . step) $ (a, s) 

I have the feeling, however, that the use of uncurry and the formation of the tuple in g feels a bit inelegant, and I don't think this code is any easier to read than the original formulation
I did take a look at using Control.Monad.Extra (iterateM) but I don't think it helped with readability very much:

step :: a -> State s a step a = ... g :: a -> s -> r g a s = somethingThatProducesAn_r . head . dropWhile somePredicate . (`evalState` s) . iterateM step $ a 

Is there a more idiomatic formulation of how to iterate a Stateful function in some way? I have a feeling that I'm missing something elementary here...
Thanks!