to start lets call this guy Joshua. We are in a snowboarding club together, and met this past december. The club goes on trips ski/boarding 5 times in a semester, and people get pretty close from this. We both are 2nd year college students. The club is also very very much degens. He's a huge stoner who lives with his childhood best friends. They're all really close.
I am new to the club this year, and we had met a few times but we were not really close or spoke much. He lives in the same complex as me at college, and i started seeing Joshua on the bus line.
Josh is a pretty friendly guy, but always really surface level. He seems on the shyer side, close with his friends but he doesnt talk much to girls. He's known for being pretty closed off.
Our ski season ends around the end of February. Him and his roommates put it out in the neighborhood club group chat to come hangout and play some drinking games. My roommate went with me, she's also in club. After the night playing games, she turned to me and was like "josh def is interested in you" and I had also started to notice how cute he was that night. So the combination resulted in a little more interest than just noticing how cute he was
I'm in a sorority, so i asked him to a date party a week later. he seemed hesitant to go, but I reassured him it wasn't a big deal, and I could ask someone else, if it didnt work out. He went with me to the party, and was a really fun date. We both were drinking, and when we got home, he asked me straight up "do you like me?" I told him that prior to this week no. and that it hadn't been more than a friendly date, and i was a little interested but he could turn me down right then. He agreed that he hadn't been interested in more than friends but that night had sparked an interest. He told me he liked me, somehow that night spiraled into games at his apartment with our friends, and we were walking around the neighborhood aimlessly, chatting away til 3 am. He told me his fear of relationships, and taking things further than friends. That he'd never been ina serious relationship. maybe just friends with benefits at the furthest, with a girl he'd been friends with since childhood.
He asked what I was looking for, and I told him, the idea of friends with benefits scared me, because you have one foot in, one foot out, and someone is always going to walk away hurt. "So you're looking for a boyfriend." again he always seemed to catch me off guard. I told him eventually, but we don't know each other well enough to pursue anything serious, so let's just get to know each other.
We made plans, and the next two weeks were filled with group hangouts that had serious eye contact, and being inseperable. Our friends caught on. But it seemed pretty friendly. til our big camping event. I wanted to ask him to formals, he had DDed me while he was sick, and studied with me when he didn't have any work to do, we'd spent a lot of time together, and he seemed really interested. we were both drinking yet again, and I asked him to formals and he told me "IDK if i want a relationship yet, but I really like you. "
he voiced to me his big fear was FOMO from his close friend group.
that night we were cuddled up by the fire, wandering around together, things were really good. He came back to my tent and we kissed a while too, stayed up all night, and watched the sunrise. I told him if it was a one time/hookup situation he was looking for, to leave me alone. Instead he offered to come over and hangout with me and the cat that night, he kissed me again, and we had two more days of hanging out with friends, and him coming over after to spend time with me and watch our show.
It felt like he was really opening up to me a few days before formals, but as he would open up more, he would also start to pull away physically. No more kissing, just cuddling, and he seemed very nervous. He voiced his fear of FOMO again, saying that we'd spent a lot of time together and he still wanted to see his friends
Formals came around and the night before he noted that he didnt know the time/date until just then. he still wanted to go, but the actual formal rolled around and his roommates had friends over and when he showed up at my door he wasnt in the best of moods.
We had a really great night after that though, pregame was a lot of fun, he held my hand throughout the night and we even danced a little.
He was attentive, and when i had been in the bathroom too long he was looking for me instead of just sitting with our mutual friends.
That night though, once we got home, the plan had been to change, and then head over to our friends but we sat down and realized we were pretty drunk
I was tired, and he wanted to leave to see our friends. I started to hammer him with questions, which in retrospective might be what scared him away. I asked if he saw a future with me, if he liked me enough to date me, if he wanted more from me, if he saw anything next semester.
I saw him get nervous and shifty, and he started to blurt out answers, NO, I dont see this, I dont like you enough, and then he took his sweatshirt back, and was like
I guess i shouldnt come over anymore...
I still like you though, im sorry. Im sorry. im sorry.
and when he left left he hugged me apologized again, and then said he really enjoyed my friendship outside of whatever this was as well.
The next night we had a ski club event. ( i know it sounds like all we do is party and drink but my grades were fine).
The original plan was a pregame with my friends and a walk over, but his Josh's roommate had another pregame in the same neighborhood.
So we met up there. But we weren't really speaking. once i had enough liquid courage and he had already approached my little group I soloed him out later and told him... I feel like I was really just blurting things out last night. Im sorry, I don't really know what I want. do you?
He couldnt meet my eyes and he just said Nothing I want nothing lets just have a good summer apart.
30 minutes later, in public, about 15/20 feet away from him I got my ass grabbed by a once trusted friend, who had been way too friendly all day. Josh didn't see anything he says because it was hard to watch me talk to this person.
Another 30 minutes later after a few more drinks in an attempt to erase what had happened and I was sobbing my eyes out, unable to tell anyone what had happened. My friends were all trying to check in, but i just sat on the couch with tears streaming down my cheeks. Fireworks were going off outside, and the cops were called by the neighbors.
Josh ran in, grabbed me and pulled me outside, he gave me his jacket and he my roommate, and our friend walked to another street to find a ride home. I wanted to lay down and cry, and he propped me up instead, and tried to comfort me.
Once he got home he basically ran to another friends house, and said hed come over after to talk, (i fell asleep before he made it back but he did try).
Sunday he came over to help clean, and we cleaned in silence. The situation at the event where I got SAed, has been something Josh has a really hard time talking about, he just gets really quiet, says oh im sorry, its just such an awkward situation and never comments more on it. I really wish he'd be more angry for me. His best friends are?
For the next two weeks, he would invite me over to hangout with his friends, never just alone, but there were a few instances where we were alone. One night I was out with some girls in his friend group walking from my house back to his, and he started to text me asking where I was going, and what was I up to. the girls boyfriends came out too, but he brought me an umbrella and pulled me in and just laughed at us having our pow wow in the rain.
Finals week we both had almsot no work and were floating about, I ended up going over there a ton. Some was by invite, and some was a little bit of inviting myself, but that's how the friendgroup is usually??
He offered to let me keep boxes in his room for the summer because I don't have a renewed lease, and when I came over a few times he played two songs that briefly in passing, I had mentioned I'd loved the songs. (i wouldnt consider them easy songs)
Before he left for the summer he came over to my house helped carry a few things out to the car, and a hug goodbye *note my roommate also a good friend of his did not get the same treatment*.
He told me that he hoped we'd see each other over the summer....
His girl friends have told me, he was really really hurt last year by a girl who he'd been really into, and dated for a week before she broke things off. They said they hadn't seen him bring girls over since, and all his other friends felt like he was fumbling.
My question is it worth pursuing further? I know i'll just push him away by continuing this chase, but do we think that things will spark up ever again?
I really think Josh does care about me, and we had a great time, but he isn't texting me much anymore, if at all... I'm going to be in his hometown this weekend but I dont plan on letting him know/ seeing him.
What can i do at this point. I feel like he's said everything he needs to, he knows that I want more than what he's offering and I feel like I'm driving myself crazy. I really do think that we could be just friends, but I also feel like he has a soft spot for me and I don't want to miss out on something great just because I didnt give him time to get over his fears.

Today we have seen one of the main examples of why Solchan is a beautiful thing. Today a Solchan user posted a small story about their struggles in life and how they’ve persevered through. Today is their 23rd birthday and they have found Solchan as a beacon of hope, for the community and future financial freedom. As of right now, 13,050 Solchan tokens have been gifted to this user for their inspiring story, which is currently valued at $197.
Solchan is a free speech board where anyone can post their thoughts, ideas, and stories, and connect with others. If you’re feeling bored, go on Solchan, tell us how you changed your life, how you plan to, or just say something funny.
Solchan has a generous community of people willing to make friends and mix cultures and ideas. If you are seeking a transparent, “real”, social media, study Solchan.
Go on solchan and see the post I spoke about for yourself, it's an example of how humanity still exists in our world today.

I, (18F) moved in with my boyfriend (19M) a couple of months after I turned 18, and my parents were furious and hurt. There’s a lot to unpack with this one, so bear with me.
My parents (40F and 42M) are very religious and were somewhat strict while I was growing up. I have two younger brothers, one 17 and one 8 (this will be important later). For context, my father is a pastor at a local church and my parent’s religious beliefs are the reasoning behind most if not all of their actions. Growing up, I was never a stereotypical girl. I didn’t have many female friends and was usually not accepted in groups with guys as I was a girl and we were kids. I was extroverted as a child but due to being repeatedly rejected by kids my age, I became more introverted. I was a major nerd who loved superheroes and I wanted to play sports. Again, for context, the town I grew up in was very conservative and my parents are very conservative themselves. Girls liked girl things- even if they claimed that’s not how they felt, it’s how they acted. However, as a kid, I did not realize this. I played soccer and basketball growing up, regardless of how “weird” it made me because I didn’t think there was anything wrong with it. I was probably around 9 or 10 at this point. It was around this time my parents started having issues with my hobbies. I remember my parents trying to convince me to be a cheerleader because I would “like it more,” but I insisted on playing basketball. (This basketball/cheer program was through our church by the way). Because I was still young, they let it slide, but to this day I remember them being annoyed with it. This is also around the time dieting was introduced to me as well as calorie counting. I have always struggled with my weight and so has my mother, so they were very adamant on making sure I was being “healthy.” I didn’t understand it, but as a child, the only thing I was worried about was making my parents happy. A lot of discipline I received revolved around emotion. What I was doing was right or wrong and if I did something wrong, I felt terrible and awful and would often come crying to my parents about the mistakes I made, fearful of their disappointment and anger if they found things out themselves. They also made everything a moral dilemma- everything was about God and religion and as a kid, it really messed with my head. I would blame myself for everything that went wrong, seeing it as God’s punishment for my behavior. When I was 9, I went so far as to blame my grandmother’s death on myself because I was hanging out with boys instead of girls. This made me to be more of an introvert and my now anxiety disorder is much much worse.
About a year later, my parents sat down with me and my brother and told us they wanted to adopt. At first, I was very excited. I loved the idea of having another brother or sister. And I wouldn’t trade my 8 year old brother (let’s call him Scott) for anything, but adopting kids is part of what triggered a huge change in my parent’s behavior. Also- I had started getting older. I loved playing video games, watching cartoons and writing. However, these weren’t the things they wanted me to like I guess, because I started to feel their judgment become more clear and apparent as I got older. Now, I assume this is because as a kid, I just did what I was told, or my oddities were assumed to fade over time, but that is not the case anymore. Anyways, entering middle school, our family fostered a little girl, let’s call her Ally. A young woman in our church had told us that Ally’s family was out of the picture, and as her aunt, she couldn’t take her in as she was already a single mom and planned on adopting her brother, but couldn’t handle all three alone. So my family stepped in- however, we had come to find that her father was still in the picture and was actively fighting for custody. And Ally was a bit of a handful. My parents have admitted that they expected to swoop in, save a child from a hard life and be the heroes, and when things were harder than that they were very upset. Ally was about three- she remembered her mom (who was in jail i believe), her sisters, her grandma and grandpa, as well as her dad. She didn’t want our family, she wanted hers. She didn’t listen to my parents and rejected their parenting. This is what started to make my parents snap. I understand it was hard for them, but now that I’m older, I get it. She was a little girl who wanted her family. But they took her rejection very seriously and were constantly unhappy with her and made sure she knew it. Children not listening immediately was newer to them as my brother and I both did pretty much whatever they asked, and they did not take well to being told “no” by a child. 8 months after living with Ally, she was taken in by her grandparents to live with them and her sisters. The next day, my parents took my brother and I on a small trip. I’m not sure if it was to cheer us up or to celebrate. I was quite sad though- I had started to really care about Ally and had convinced myself that “God would take care of things” and I would have a sister. But I was angry- God took someone away from me and I was doing everything right. Why was he punishing me? Nothing made sense. Yet, only a year later, my parents were considering taking in another child. I wanted nothing to do with it- God had already taken one sibling away from me. I couldn’t do it again. In the end, I agreed and soon became attached to this little boy, who was two when we met him. This was Scott. I immediately became attached- and I love this kid more than I can describe- he’s my little brother and I would do anything for him.
This is where things start to go further downhill. Scott has a lot of trauma and mental issues, one of those issues being oppositional defiant disorder. That basically means that listening to any form of authority is near impossible for him, and causes him to lash out and act younger than he is. This is probably due to a number of reasons, as he was severely neglected and abused as an infant and his birth mother was on several different substances while pregnant with him, to the point where he was born high on several illegal drugs. He was left in a car seat for most of his infant life, so the back of his head is slightly flattened due to this. My parents are very obedient/disciplined-based parents, so his behavior rocked their world. In my opinion, the way they handled things with Scott was borderline abusive. There were several occasions where he would say he hated them (as young children do when they're mad) and they would flip. Telling him that if he didn’t want them that was fine. They didn’t need him. He could run back to his other parents, but his mom was in jail and his dad didn’t want him, so good luck with that. If we were in the car when this happened, they would threaten to leave him on the side of the road and good luck finding his way home. Once my mother literally pulled to the side of the road, placed him outside the car and started driving so he would “think they would leave him if his actions didn’t change,” but she turned around to get him. Because they would “never actually abandon or hurt him,” their actions were justified and perfectly fine. They would tell him he was acting like a baby when he started to cry and scream. “Little baby Scott, do you need a diaper?” Is how they would tease him when he became older, which just made his tantrums worse. They would tell him how disappointed they were with him and that he should be ashamed of himself and the way he acted because they gave him everything. They would call him, to his face, “an ungrateful manipulative piece of shit.” Because according to my parents, he could control his actions 100% and was choosing to act out to make their lives difficult. While I understand that this was hard for them, in my opinion, this in no way excuses their behavior. One time, Scott was crying and was upset (who knows why, but the kid had a lot of trauma and mental issues so it didn’t bother me too much), and my mother picked him up and put him in his room. She told him that every time he tried to leave his room, she would take away one of his stuffed animals. (He had several that he loved very much). Because this sounded so terrible to him, he ran after her trying to say it wasn’t fair. So she went into his room and took a stuffed animal. This cycle continued while he cried and begged for her to stop, because he just didn’t get it that she was going to keep doing this over and over and his trying to convince her was making it worse. Eventually, there were none left, and she told him if he didn’t stop crying she was going to throw them all away. I don’t remember what happened after that, but I do know that several of them were thrown away, if not at that time than others. There are many other instances of things like this and worse occurring, but we’d be here for a while if I tried to recount them all. Moving forwards to closer when I was moving out-
Now, several years later, when I turned sixteen, I had come to terms with the fact that I was bisexual. This went against everything my family was for, and I knew exactly how they viewed queer people. So, I started learning about different branches of Christianity and felt like I knew a God who loved me as I was and was happy in my decision to switch denominations. (My parents were baptists, and I wanted to be non-denominational). A few months after this, I decided to tell my parents the truth. I had done my best to give them hints, but I wanted to be honest with them because I trusted that they would love me and be there for me no matter what. When I told them I wanted to talk to them about something, they pushed and pressed and I had been trying to wait to talk to them until the next day. I had been seeing my high school counselor, and she suggested giving them a heads-up before springing that conversation up on them. However, after telling them to wait, they went through my phone and saw that I had researched different denominations and read different sermons on queer-accepting faith. They were livid. To be clear- I had a friend over while this was happening. We were watching a movie and joking about how I lost my phone and couldn’t show them this picture I wanted to. Then, I was called upstairs. I had apparently betrayed my parents and, “how could I do this to them, when I had someone over?” My father demanded I send my friend home, but my mother convinced him for one more hour. I was told not to tell my friend anything they had said and to act like things were fine, but I couldn’t. I went back downstairs where we were hanging out and started sobbing. I felt like my whole world was falling apart. Everything was over- and the people I thought would love me no matter what made me so afraid and sad, I was completely broken. My friend did their best to comfort me and even felt weary to leave me alone with my family but I told them I’d be okay, and asked that they update our friends about the situation. That night was hellish. So many conversations, them trying to understand what I felt, but not taking me particularly seriously either. That night turned into weeks of books, slideshows, conversations, and prayers. It felt like at-home conversion therapy. Eventually, I was given a choice “put my convictional flag in the ground or loose their trust.” As the petrified 16 year old, I chose to lie. I put my “flag” in the ground and did my best to, “earn back their trust” and repair their reputation that I had tarnished. The next couple months were a blur. I felt so terrible about myself. I didn’t know what I thought or believed and I became extremely hyper anxious and depressed. I had lost all sense of privacy and I did trust my parents further than I could toss them. My 17 year old brother (he was 14 at the time, let’s call him James) was 100% on board with my parents. My life felt like a living nightmare. My parents had it so that all my texts sent or received from my phone would go directly to theirs, so I couldn’t even confide in my friends without getting into trouble (which had happened and was how I found out that they did that because I deleted the texts immediately after sending/receiving things).. Everything felt like it was about me and how I needed to earn back their trust and how I was a terrible betrayer who they were not proud of in the slightest. I had gone to get a pixie cut (with their approval) and after they told me I was disgusting and repulsive and would never find a man to love me. I was heartbroken and felt so alone and unloved in my house, while I had to watch my younger brother be treated the way he was by my parents.
Luckily, I had a lot of friends and our school counselor who had been there for me through everything. They showered me with support and love and made sure I had a safe space to exist and truthfully I think they’re the only reason I didn’t do anything drastic and am still here today. It was hard though because James went to the same school as me and would tell my parents if I was with anyone he knew was queer or queer accepting. This caused me to be very very paranoid about who I was with, when, where, etc. Constantly covering my tracks, having an excuse set up and ready to bolt if I saw anyone I knew. What made things equally hard is that the church my father works at is quite big in our area. So if someone from our church or someone who knew my family saw me with anyone they labeled as “queer” or “gay,” they would tell my family as well. For the most part, I didn’t feel safe anywhere. I was constantly alert and on guard, even when I was asleep as my parents had woken me up before to confront me about someone I was friends with at school.
Fortunately for me, despite everything being such a mess, I am quite academically smart. I got a job the second I turned sixteen as I had heard the horror stories of queer kids being kicked out and wanted to be prepared. I had been saving money, taking college classes (we have a state program that pays for the classes while you’re in high school), and putting on a show for my family for quite some time. After saving some money, I paid my parents for an older car that they had paid off ten or so years ago. After my brother turned 16, he claimed it was too hard to share a car with me, so while I was away visiting a friend they bought him a car and told us that they expected each of us to pay them one thousand dollars before we graduated high school and that when we did so, they would sign over our respective cars to us. To be clear, I contributed to insurance and paid for my own gas, as well as contributing to my phone bill and money for food. Meanwhile, my brother had no job, and was constantly asking my parents for money to go out with friends. He had also taken up golfing, which as most people know is extremely expensive, and my parents funded everything. James had actually admitted to asking for more money than he needed and save the leftovers for whatever he wanted. I was also expected to chauffeur him to golf events and to get togethers with his friends, and my parents would in return give me some gas money. Another thing to note is that the only reason I was contributing to our phone bill is because James wanted unlimited data and my father said it was unreasonable unless we both contributed financially. I refused as I was trying to save money (as I would have with the car situation), however things per normal went James’s way. However, because he did not have a job, he was not expected to pay anything and would not be charged for the months and years that he did not contribute to. I did my best not to let these things get to me and to keep a level head. I paid my parents for the car because I already had over two thousand dollars saved as a seventeen year old high school student due to my hard work.
I focused on my classes and joined theater to help fill the hours in between school and work. I was much more active my sophomore year but when James also decided to join theater I retreated a bit as my once safe space to freely exist was no longer safe. I joined the stage crew but honestly that was also very enjoyable and lethargic for me and I enjoyed it a lot. Anyways, I was mostly a straight A student besides the stray Bs and one or two Cs (psychology and AP government screwed me over) and was working 15 or so hours a week. This is on top of my commitments to the church which were most of my Sundays and my Wednesday evenings. The funny thing is though- James missed more church than I ever did yet because my absence was because of work and not golf, I was the one consistently reprimanded for my lack of attendance and socialization whilst I was there. Yet because James could never do anything wrong and was a very extroverted person his lack of attendance wasn’t as serious as my own. I had one close friend through our church, let’s call her Grace (now 18F) and she actually knew about everything and was very supportive of me. I also had some other friends who really only showed up to church so I didn’t have to go through the torture alone which I don’t know if I could ever repay them for. Besides the people I was comfortable with though, I was pretty much a loner there and this heavily displeased my parents as it made them look bad and messed with their reputation. I never realized how much appearances meant to them until all of the shit that happened took place. As I mentioned before, our church is very conservative and traditional, and many sermons and lessons revolved around gender roles and the sinfulness of the world in terms fo the LGBTQ community. I consistently felt targeted because of my looks and my personality and stopped feeling comfortable there a very long time ago.
Now that more context is in place, fast forward to the end of my junior year. I had at this point finished all my high school requirements for graduation and was given an incredible opportunity to go to our local college full time for my senior year. I was very excited and happy because not only did it give me more freedom but it also meant I would get more than a year of my college education paid for by the state.
It was also around this time when I met my now boyfriend, let’s call him Dean. We were coworkers and had begun to get to know each other. We had a lot in common and while were different people personality wise, we enjoyed each other’s company quite a bit. By some miracle, I convinced my parents to allow me to hang out with him outside of work by claiming he was just a friend and saying that he was a Christian (which is by no means true). They were extremely skeptical but allowed us to hang out. We had an incredible time- and by the end of our first date he asked me to be his girlfriend which I happily accepted. I was so happy, but when I got home, things spiraled out of control. I told my parents about our time, and they were extremely unhappy as they felt fooled (which they were to be fair) and told me I was not allowed to see him ever again. I was devastated and they said a lot of very uncalled for things and but I understand why they were angry. To be clear, they knew I had a romantic interest in Dean and that this hangout was to see if we would be compatible partners and get to know each other better. They did not call it a date though because they weren’t comfortable with it, even if it was a date and they kinda knew it. So while they were on some level “fooled,” I feel that their anger and harshness wasn’t called for as they knew the intentions of our hanging out. The next morning my father demanded to see my phone. This is when I started to panic. You see, they had stop tracking my texts and I had openly flirted with Dean over text. Nothing that explicit and no photos of any kind. But the flirting would be enough for them to tear my world apart and I knew it. They had gone through my personal conversations before and made me feel terrible because of it and I refused to let them do it again. So I deleted everything. The entire conversation chain, I removed it from my phone 100%. My parents absolutely lost their shit. They had been manipulating and gaslighting me for years, doing anything and everything to keep their control and with my actions I showed them they couldn’t control me forever and things went very downhill. I lost all my privacy and was once again told how I had betrayed them and I was terrible and couldn’t be trusted. Again- I partially understand their anger here because I had directly disobeyed a command. But at the same time, I feel as a young woman I should be allowed some sense of privacy and the ability to talk to people without being constantly monitored. I don’t feel like I did anything wrong and would happily do it again in a heartbeat if it meant I’d be where I am today. Regardless of this, my life became a living hell once again, and my parents compared this to when I came out, “which was maybe the worst night of their lives.” They stripped me of all my privileges even if I didn’t have many to begin with. They made me feel absolutely miserable and awful about myself and I was monitored like never before. I would be working and receive texts upon texts of how I was so terrible and how could I do this to them because they had done everything for me and I’m a terrible daughter who should be ashamed of myself for the deceit and malicious nature of my actions. Again- this was because they could not read the messages between me and my now boyfriend. I understand them being mad but they took it to a completely inappropriate level. I shared everything happening with my friends and counselor and they supported me and assured me I did nothing wrong and they would be there for me which helped but as my home was now a living hellscape it was hard to hear it. I found a way to tell Dean about things and at first he felt guilty but I assured him that their actions were not his fault but theirs. He then asked me if I wanted to pause our relationship but I told him honestly that they had taken so many things I cared about over the years and I refused to let them take this. I did tell him however I understood if he didn’t want to put up with all the complicatedness of my family but he told me he cared for me and would be there so long as I was okay with it. He also told me if things ever got really bad at home, regardless of the fact we had just started dating, he had spoken to his family and they offered me a place to stay if I needed/wanted it. This really touched me, but I reassured him that it was not his job to offer that, but I appreciated the offer.
This begins our relationship and we were very happy. We had found a way to communicate over email, and we were able to hide our relationship with my family. Luckily for me, over the years I had made a habit of hanging out at the park by myself so it was not strange for me to head to the park for a couple of hours. There, I would leave my car and phone (my phone had a tracker on it) and Dean and I would hangout multiple times a week and it was heaven. At this point, we’ve only been dating for a year but I can admit without any doubt that I am in love with this man and he is in love with me. During the school year, it became easier for us to hang out in between classes as we both went to the same college (I am older for my year in school and he is younger, so he was a sophomore in college while I was a senior in high school. However, we are barely a year apart in age for anyone who is concerned). However, in order for us to communicate and hang out, I had to be extremely diligent and was consistently covering my tracks while “once again, earning my parents trust and repairing our relationship.” Because of course their actions were completely justified and I was the one in the wrong, per normal. Anyways, every day, I was editing search histories, erasing messages, and looking over my shoulder. Our church had a program on campus where Dean and I went to school, so being together in public was risky as my father’s friends and coworkers were always on campus and I knew I would be screwed if we were caught together. We had a couple of close calls over the months but it was all worth it because I hadn’t been that happy in years.
Now, to the day I left and why. You see, my parents' behavior towards Scott was becoming more aggressive and worse over time. They also had, in my opinion, a drinking problem. Considering they didn’t deny it when I called them out, they may agree. They would behave more hostile after several drinks and it was happening so consistently I was constantly walking on eggshells. Between the way they treated Scott, the way they treated me and the constant stress I was under trying to balance my life in fear of the repercussions, things became too much. When things weren’t going to shit, I was consistently expected to either babysit my brother and do chores while being a full time college student and working a part time job WHILE attending church multiple times a week and keeping up with my responsibilities as a senior. This is on top of the stress my parents' behavior caused, meanwhile James was expected to do almost nothing in comparison. Don’t get me wrong- he didn’t do anything, but he had almost no responsibilities outside of school and his extracurriculars which were exclusively funded by my parents. Yes he helped with dishes during the week and would keep his space tidy. But as my schedule became much more flexible due to my school schedule, my expectations around the house became much higher than his. Even though I paid 200 a month on gas, 50 a month for insurance and 50 a month for the phone bill, and he paid nothing for his car, insurance, phone, gas, nothing. So you would think he would be expected to help in the house more but no. Also, James’s behavior towards Scott mimicked my parents and so all babysitting responsibilities fell on me as they couldn’t be trusted alone together. I was rarely if ever paid for my cleaning or babysitting services as it was my responsibility as their eldest child. They would also consistently judge me for my weight, cloths, hair, hobbies, etc. Why did I think it was a good idea to get fast food? I clearly didn’t need it. They would “outfit check me” to make sure the outfits I wore were feminine enough because the way I look effected their reputation and I couldn’t be trusted. I was not allowed to cut my hair after their tantrum over it. As for my hobbies, I stopped playing sports in middle school as I am very short (currently 5 foot even) and was unable to keep up with my peers. However my interest in video games and cartoons wasn’t feminine enough and they proceeded to compare me to my best friend Grace because she was skinnier and liked more feminine things than I did which hurt a lot. Another thing for context, I have PCOS. It’s an endocrine disorder that heavily effects your metabolism and hormones, which in turn severely effected my weight, however my parents never acknowledged it and again made everything my fault. So from what I wore, what I ate, who I hung out with and what I enjoyed doing was constantly criticized, scrutinized and eventually controlled by my family for years. On top of everything else, I was done. I was 18, I had resaved the thousand I paid my family and knew I was at a place where I didn’t need them and was tired of being treated like shit. So I left.
The night I moved out was a total shit show. I had rallied Dean and my other friend, let’s call them Rita (18NB), and they helped me form a plan. When I returned home, Dean and Rita would be on their way. I would pack everything that belonged to me or I felt they would let me take, and prep the bags outside. After Rita arrived I went to try and explain to my parents that I would be leaving and explain calmly why. In a perfect world, we would have had a long deep talk, and things would have ended alright. That is far, far from what happened. They immediately starting screaming, and took my phone and car keys as both belonged to them, which I calmly handed over. Rita was there for emotional support, and put themselves between me and my parents as they got more angry and seemed to be turning aggressive. After that, my father called the police and claimed that there was an intruder in their home trying to take their child. Yeah. Complete bullshit- which to this day I’m surprised they were never charged with falsifying a 911 call. They screamed at Rita to get out of their home and was screaming that I was throwing away everything and I needed to reconsider. I ignored them and attempted to calmly walk out, and my parents attempted to barricade the doors while harassing Rita to leave. Because Rita is incredible and one of my closest friends now, they refused to leave without me which was very calming. While my parents were distracted yelling at them, I slipped out through the garage. My mother saw this and then grabbed me, attempting to drag me inside by my arm. Rita saw this and assisted me in getting her off me, and after doing so we continued to walk towards Dean’s car where he was waiting for us. He figured it would be best if my family didn’t see him for the time being as they would definitely lose their minds at seeing his face. My parents continued screaming and then the cops arrived. They were quite confused at first because they had been sent to deal with a potential kidnapping, only to see two grown adults throwing a tantrum because their adult child didn’t want to live with them anymore. That night was honestly so insane I could write three more pages about everything they said and did. The most notable events were first when my mother tried to explain to the police that because I was her child, she was allowed to put her hands on me, which they humorously informed her was not the case. The next was when James came home from theater rehearsal, to which my parents told them that I was abandoning our family. He was an emotional wreck through all of it, and to this day has told me that until I “fix” things with our parents he is not okay with having any form of relationship with me. Throughout all of this Scott was in his room, and I was allowed to give him one last hug before leaving. The final and most notable thing, was as the cops allowed my boyfriend, Rita and I to leave, my father threatened violence towards my boyfriend and accused him of "taking advantage of his underage daughter," which is just ridiculous as we are practically the same age, and anything we had done together was consensual and reserved for after I turned 18. Another thing my parents did was go through each bag I had packed and took everything they felt belonged to them, including the laptop provided to me by my high school, which they hilariously were made to give back to me several days later as it was not theirs and they had no right to take it. They tried claiming they were giving it to me out of the kindness of their hearts, but that bullshit meant nothing as after I informed the school of their behavior, the school assured me they would be made to give it back. Another thing they threatened to do as I left was pull me out of high school, which I was assured by the police they were not capable of doing as I was 18. The police were for the most part annoyed with my parents, tired of their bs and told me I seemed to be a capable young woman and wished me the best of luck. My parents had tried to ask the police to say I was mentally unstable for the time being so I wouldn’t be allowed to leave, as their “she’s still in high school” excuse didn’t do anything. You see, as my father is an influential church figure and had friends in the police force, he thought they would be on his side but was sorely mistaken as the chief told him they wouldn’t be doing him any favors. And with that, I was free.
My boyfriend's family has been nothing but unconditionally kind and supportive and have accepted me as part of their family which has been a huge blessing in all of this. I am in contact with my father’s sister and his father, my aunt and grandpa, and as I have expressed my unhappiness at home, they are supportive of me as well. However, as my aunt lives further away and my grandpa is not in the best place to have me live with him, I have been with my boyfriend's family since I left home in October. I have a lot more I could say but I already feel like there are way too many parts here and so for now I’ll leave it at this. So yeah, AITA for moving out after I was treated like shit for years while witnessing the mistreatment of my sibling?

I, (18F) moved in with my boyfriend (19M) a couple of months after I turned 18, and my parents were furious and hurt. There’s a lot to unpack with this one, so bear with me.
My parents (40F and 42M) are very religious and were somewhat strict while I was growing up. I have two younger brothers, one 17 and one 8 (this will be important later). For context, my father is a pastor at a local church and my parent’s religious beliefs are the reasoning behind most if not all of their actions. Growing up, I was never a stereotypical girl. I didn’t have many female friends and was usually not accepted in groups with guys as I was a girl and we were kids. I was extroverted as a child but due to being repeatedly rejected by kids my age, I became more introverted. I was a major nerd who loved superheroes and I wanted to play sports. Again, for context, the town I grew up in was very conservative and my parents are very conservative themselves. Girls liked girl things- even if they claimed that’s not how they felt, it’s how they acted. However, as a kid, I did not realize this. I played soccer and basketball growing up, regardless of how “weird” it made me because I didn’t think there was anything wrong with it. I was probably around 9 or 10 at this point. It was around this time my parents started having issues with my hobbies. I remember my parents trying to convince me to be a cheerleader because I would “like it more,” but I insisted on playing basketball. (This basketball/cheer program was through our church by the way). Because I was still young, they let it slide, but to this day I remember them being annoyed with it. This is also around the time dieting was introduced to me as well as calorie counting. I have always struggled with my weight and so has my mother, so they were very adamant on making sure I was being “healthy.” I didn’t understand it, but as a child, the only thing I was worried about was making my parents happy. A lot of discipline I received revolved around emotion. What I was doing was right or wrong and if I did something wrong, I felt terrible and awful and would often come crying to my parents about the mistakes I made, fearful of their disappointment and anger if they found things out themselves. They also made everything a moral dilemma- everything was about God and religion and as a kid, it really messed with my head. I would blame myself for everything that went wrong, seeing it as God’s punishment for my behavior. When I was 9, I went so far as to blame my grandmother’s death on myself because I was hanging out with boys instead of girls. This made me to be more of an introvert and my now anxiety disorder is much much worse.
About a year later, my parents sat down with me and my brother and told us they wanted to adopt. At first, I was very excited. I loved the idea of having another brother or sister. And I wouldn’t trade my 8 year old brother (let’s call him Scott) for anything, but adopting kids is part of what triggered a huge change in my parent’s behavior. Also- I had started getting older. I loved playing video games, watching cartoons and writing. However, these weren’t the things they wanted me to like I guess, because I started to feel their judgment become more clear and apparent as I got older. Now, I assume this is because as a kid, I just did what I was told, or my oddities were assumed to fade over time, but that is not the case anymore. Anyways, entering middle school, our family fostered a little girl, let’s call her Ally. A young woman in our church had told us that Ally’s family was out of the picture, and as her aunt, she couldn’t take her in as she was already a single mom and planned on adopting her brother, but couldn’t handle all three alone. So my family stepped in- however, we had come to find that her father was still in the picture and was actively fighting for custody. And Ally was a bit of a handful. My parents have admitted that they expected to swoop in, save a child from a hard life and be the heroes, and when things were harder than that they were very upset. Ally was about three- she remembered her mom (who was in jail i believe), her sisters, her grandma and grandpa, as well as her dad. She didn’t want our family, she wanted hers. She didn’t listen to my parents and rejected their parenting. This is what started to make my parents snap. I understand it was hard for them, but now that I’m older, I get it. She was a little girl who wanted her family. But they took her rejection very seriously and were constantly unhappy with her and made sure she knew it. Children not listening immediately was newer to them as my brother and I both did pretty much whatever they asked, and they did not take well to being told “no” by a child. 8 months after living with Ally, she was taken in by her grandparents to live with them and her sisters. The next day, my parents took my brother and I on a small trip. I’m not sure if it was to cheer us up or to celebrate. I was quite sad though- I had started to really care about Ally and had convinced myself that “God would take care of things” and I would have a sister. But I was angry- God took someone away from me and I was doing everything right. Why was he punishing me? Nothing made sense. Yet, only a year later, my parents were considering taking in another child. I wanted nothing to do with it- God had already taken one sibling away from me. I couldn’t do it again. In the end, I agreed and soon became attached to this little boy, who was two when we met him. This was Scott. I immediately became attached- and I love this kid more than I can describe- he’s my little brother and I would do anything for him.
This is where things start to go further downhill. Scott has a lot of trauma and mental issues, one of those issues being oppositional defiant disorder. That basically means that listening to any form of authority is near impossible for him, and causes him to lash out and act younger than he is. This is probably due to a number of reasons, as he was severely neglected and abused as an infant and his birth mother was on several different substances while pregnant with him, to the point where he was born high on several illegal drugs. He was left in a car seat for most of his infant life, so the back of his head is slightly flattened due to this. My parents are very obedient/disciplined-based parents, so his behavior rocked their world. In my opinion, the way they handled things with Scott was borderline abusive. There were several occasions where he would say he hated them (as young children do when they're mad) and they would flip. Telling him that if he didn’t want them that was fine. They didn’t need him. He could run back to his other parents, but his mom was in jail and his dad didn’t want him, so good luck with that. If we were in the car when this happened, they would threaten to leave him on the side of the road and good luck finding his way home. Once my mother literally pulled to the side of the road, placed him outside the car and started driving so he would “think they would leave him if his actions didn’t change,” but she turned around to get him. Because they would “never actually abandon or hurt him,” their actions were justified and perfectly fine. They would tell him he was acting like a baby when he started to cry and scream. “Little baby Scott, do you need a diaper?” Is how they would tease him when he became older, which just made his tantrums worse. They would tell him how disappointed they were with him and that he should be ashamed of himself and the way he acted because they gave him everything. They would call him, to his face, “an ungrateful manipulative piece of shit.” Because according to my parents, he could control his actions 100% and was choosing to act out to make their lives difficult. While I understand that this was hard for them, in my opinion, this in no way excuses their behavior. One time, Scott was crying and was upset (who knows why, but the kid had a lot of trauma and mental issues so it didn’t bother me too much), and my mother picked him up and put him in his room. She told him that every time he tried to leave his room, she would take away one of his stuffed animals. (He had several that he loved very much). Because this sounded so terrible to him, he ran after her trying to say it wasn’t fair. So she went into his room and took a stuffed animal. This cycle continued while he cried and begged for her to stop, because he just didn’t get it that she was going to keep doing this over and over and his trying to convince her was making it worse. Eventually, there were none left, and she told him if he didn’t stop crying she was going to throw them all away. I don’t remember what happened after that, but I do know that several of them were thrown away, if not at that time than others. There are many other instances of things like this and worse occurring, but we’d be here for a while if I tried to recount them all. Moving forwards to closer when I was moving out-
Now, several years later, when I turned sixteen, I had come to terms with the fact that I was bisexual. This went against everything my family was for, and I knew exactly how they viewed queer people. So, I started learning about different branches of Christianity and felt like I knew a God who loved me as I was and was happy in my decision to switch denominations. (My parents were baptists, and I wanted to be non-denominational). A few months after this, I decided to tell my parents the truth. I had done my best to give them hints, but I wanted to be honest with them because I trusted that they would love me and be there for me no matter what. When I told them I wanted to talk to them about something, they pushed and pressed and I had been trying to wait to talk to them until the next day. I had been seeing my high school counselor, and she suggested giving them a heads-up before springing that conversation up on them. However, after telling them to wait, they went through my phone and saw that I had researched different denominations and read different sermons on queer-accepting faith. They were livid. To be clear- I had a friend over while this was happening. We were watching a movie and joking about how I lost my phone and couldn’t show them this picture I wanted to. Then, I was called upstairs. I had apparently betrayed my parents and, “how could I do this to them, when I had someone over?” My father demanded I send my friend home, but my mother convinced him for one more hour. I was told not to tell my friend anything they had said and to act like things were fine, but I couldn’t. I went back downstairs where we were hanging out and started sobbing. I felt like my whole world was falling apart. Everything was over- and the people I thought would love me no matter what made me so afraid and sad, I was completely broken. My friend did their best to comfort me and even felt weary to leave me alone with my family but I told them I’d be okay, and asked that they update our friends about the situation. That night was hellish. So many conversations, them trying to understand what I felt, but not taking me particularly seriously either. That night turned into weeks of books, slideshows, conversations, and prayers. It felt like at-home conversion therapy. Eventually, I was given a choice “put my convictional flag in the ground or loose their trust.” As the petrified 16 year old, I chose to lie. I put my “flag” in the ground and did my best to, “earn back their trust” and repair their reputation that I had tarnished. The next couple months were a blur. I felt so terrible about myself. I didn’t know what I thought or believed and I became extremely hyper anxious and depressed. I had lost all sense of privacy and I did trust my parents further than I could toss them. My 17 year old brother (he was 14 at the time, let’s call him James) was 100% on board with my parents. My life felt like a living nightmare. My parents had it so that all my texts sent or received from my phone would go directly to theirs, so I couldn’t even confide in my friends without getting into trouble (which had happened and was how I found out that they did that because I deleted the texts immediately after sending/receiving things).. Everything felt like it was about me and how I needed to earn back their trust and how I was a terrible betrayer who they were not proud of in the slightest. I had gone to get a pixie cut (with their approval) and after they told me I was disgusting and repulsive and would never find a man to love me. I was heartbroken and felt so alone and unloved in my house, while I had to watch my younger brother be treated the way he was by my parents.
Luckily, I had a lot of friends and our school counselor who had been there for me through everything. They showered me with support and love and made sure I had a safe space to exist and truthfully I think they’re the only reason I didn’t do anything drastic and am still here today. It was hard though because James went to the same school as me and would tell my parents if I was with anyone he knew was queer or queer accepting. This caused me to be very very paranoid about who I was with, when, where, etc. Constantly covering my tracks, having an excuse set up and ready to bolt if I saw anyone I knew. What made things equally hard is that the church my father works at is quite big in our area. So if someone from our church or someone who knew my family saw me with anyone they labeled as “queer” or “gay,” they would tell my family as well. For the most part, I didn’t feel safe anywhere. I was constantly alert and on guard, even when I was asleep as my parents had woken me up before to confront me about someone I was friends with at school.
Fortunately for me, despite everything being such a mess, I am quite academically smart. I got a job the second I turned sixteen as I had heard the horror stories of queer kids being kicked out and wanted to be prepared. I had been saving money, taking college classes (we have a state program that pays for the classes while you’re in high school), and putting on a show for my family for quite some time. After saving some money, I paid my parents for an older car that they had paid off ten or so years ago. After my brother turned 16, he claimed it was too hard to share a car with me, so while I was away visiting a friend they bought him a car and told us that they expected each of us to pay them one thousand dollars before we graduated high school and that when we did so, they would sign over our respective cars to us. To be clear, I contributed to insurance and paid for my own gas, as well as contributing to my phone bill and money for food. Meanwhile, my brother had no job, and was constantly asking my parents for money to go out with friends. He had also taken up golfing, which as most people know is extremely expensive, and my parents funded everything. James had actually admitted to asking for more money than he needed and save the leftovers for whatever he wanted. I was also expected to chauffeur him to golf events and to get togethers with his friends, and my parents would in return give me some gas money. Another thing to note is that the only reason I was contributing to our phone bill is because James wanted unlimited data and my father said it was unreasonable unless we both contributed financially. I refused as I was trying to save money (as I would have with the car situation), however things per normal went James’s way. However, because he did not have a job, he was not expected to pay anything and would not be charged for the months and years that he did not contribute to. I did my best not to let these things get to me and to keep a level head. I paid my parents for the car because I already had over two thousand dollars saved as a seventeen year old high school student due to my hard work.
I focused on my classes and joined theater to help fill the hours in between school and work. I was much more active my sophomore year but when James also decided to join theater I retreated a bit as my once safe space to freely exist was no longer safe. I joined the stage crew but honestly that was also very enjoyable and lethargic for me and I enjoyed it a lot. Anyways, I was mostly a straight A student besides the stray Bs and one or two Cs (psychology and AP government screwed me over) and was working 15 or so hours a week. This is on top of my commitments to the church which were most of my Sundays and my Wednesday evenings. The funny thing is though- James missed more church than I ever did yet because my absence was because of work and not golf, I was the one consistently reprimanded for my lack of attendance and socialization whilst I was there. Yet because James could never do anything wrong and was a very extroverted person his lack of attendance wasn’t as serious as my own. I had one close friend through our church, let’s call her Grace (now 18F) and she actually knew about everything and was very supportive of me. I also had some other friends who really only showed up to church so I didn’t have to go through the torture alone which I don’t know if I could ever repay them for. Besides the people I was comfortable with though, I was pretty much a loner there and this heavily displeased my parents as it made them look bad and messed with their reputation. I never realized how much appearances meant to them until all of the shit that happened took place. As I mentioned before, our church is very conservative and traditional, and many sermons and lessons revolved around gender roles and the sinfulness of the world in terms fo the LGBTQ community. I consistently felt targeted because of my looks and my personality and stopped feeling comfortable there a very long time ago.
Now that more context is in place, fast forward to the end of my junior year. I had at this point finished all my high school requirements for graduation and was given an incredible opportunity to go to our local college full time for my senior year. I was very excited and happy because not only did it give me more freedom but it also meant I would get more than a year of my college education paid for by the state.
It was also around this time when I met my now boyfriend, let’s call him Dean. We were coworkers and had begun to get to know each other. We had a lot in common and while were different people personality wise, we enjoyed each other’s company quite a bit. By some miracle, I convinced my parents to allow me to hang out with him outside of work by claiming he was just a friend and saying that he was a Christian (which is by no means true). They were extremely skeptical but allowed us to hang out. We had an incredible time- and by the end of our first date he asked me to be his girlfriend which I happily accepted. I was so happy, but when I got home, things spiraled out of control. I told my parents about our time, and they were extremely unhappy as they felt fooled (which they were to be fair) and told me I was not allowed to see him ever again. I was devastated and they said a lot of very uncalled for things and but I understand why they were angry. To be clear, they knew I had a romantic interest in Dean and that this hangout was to see if we would be compatible partners and get to know each other better. They did not call it a date though because they weren’t comfortable with it, even if it was a date and they kinda knew it. So while they were on some level “fooled,” I feel that their anger and harshness wasn’t called for as they knew the intentions of our hanging out. The next morning my father demanded to see my phone. This is when I started to panic. You see, they had stop tracking my texts and I had openly flirted with Dean over text. Nothing that explicit and no photos of any kind. But the flirting would be enough for them to tear my world apart and I knew it. They had gone through my personal conversations before and made me feel terrible because of it and I refused to let them do it again. So I deleted everything. The entire conversation chain, I removed it from my phone 100%. My parents absolutely lost their shit. They had been manipulating and gaslighting me for years, doing anything and everything to keep their control and with my actions I showed them they couldn’t control me forever and things went very downhill. I lost all my privacy and was once again told how I had betrayed them and I was terrible and couldn’t be trusted. Again- I partially understand their anger here because I had directly disobeyed a command. But at the same time, I feel as a young woman I should be allowed some sense of privacy and the ability to talk to people without being constantly monitored. I don’t feel like I did anything wrong and would happily do it again in a heartbeat if it meant I’d be where I am today. Regardless of this, my life became a living hell once again, and my parents compared this to when I came out, “which was maybe the worst night of their lives.” They stripped me of all my privileges even if I didn’t have many to begin with. They made me feel absolutely miserable and awful about myself and I was monitored like never before. I would be working and receive texts upon texts of how I was so terrible and how could I do this to them because they had done everything for me and I’m a terrible daughter who should be ashamed of myself for the deceit and malicious nature of my actions. Again- this was because they could not read the messages between me and my now boyfriend. I understand them being mad but they took it to a completely inappropriate level. I shared everything happening with my friends and counselor and they supported me and assured me I did nothing wrong and they would be there for me which helped but as my home was now a living hellscape it was hard to hear it. I found a way to tell Dean about things and at first he felt guilty but I assured him that their actions were not his fault but theirs. He then asked me if I wanted to pause our relationship but I told him honestly that they had taken so many things I cared about over the years and I refused to let them take this. I did tell him however I understood if he didn’t want to put up with all the complicatedness of my family but he told me he cared for me and would be there so long as I was okay with it. He also told me if things ever got really bad at home, regardless of the fact we had just started dating, he had spoken to his family and they offered me a place to stay if I needed/wanted it. This really touched me, but I reassured him that it was not his job to offer that, but I appreciated the offer.
This begins our relationship and we were very happy. We had found a way to communicate over email, and we were able to hide our relationship with my family. Luckily for me, over the years I had made a habit of hanging out at the park by myself so it was not strange for me to head to the park for a couple of hours. There, I would leave my car and phone (my phone had a tracker on it) and Dean and I would hangout multiple times a week and it was heaven. At this point, we’ve only been dating for a year but I can admit without any doubt that I am in love with this man and he is in love with me. During the school year, it became easier for us to hang out in between classes as we both went to the same college (I am older for my year in school and he is younger, so he was a sophomore in college while I was a senior in high school. However, we are barely a year apart in age for anyone who is concerned). However, in order for us to communicate and hang out, I had to be extremely diligent and was consistently covering my tracks while “once again, earning my parents trust and repairing our relationship.” Because of course their actions were completely justified and I was the one in the wrong, per normal. Anyways, every day, I was editing search histories, erasing messages, and looking over my shoulder. Our church had a program on campus where Dean and I went to school, so being together in public was risky as my father’s friends and coworkers were always on campus and I knew I would be screwed if we were caught together. We had a couple of close calls over the months but it was all worth it because I hadn’t been that happy in years.
Now, to the day I left and why. You see, my parents' behavior towards Scott was becoming more aggressive and worse over time. They also had, in my opinion, a drinking problem. Considering they didn’t deny it when I called them out, they may agree. They would behave more hostile after several drinks and it was happening so consistently I was constantly walking on eggshells. Between the way they treated Scott, the way they treated me and the constant stress I was under trying to balance my life in fear of the repercussions, things became too much. When things weren’t going to shit, I was consistently expected to either babysit my brother and do chores while being a full time college student and working a part time job WHILE attending church multiple times a week and keeping up with my responsibilities as a senior. This is on top of the stress my parents' behavior caused, meanwhile James was expected to do almost nothing in comparison. Don’t get me wrong- he didn’t do anything, but he had almost no responsibilities outside of school and his extracurriculars which were exclusively funded by my parents. Yes he helped with dishes during the week and would keep his space tidy. But as my schedule became much more flexible due to my school schedule, my expectations around the house became much higher than his. Even though I paid 200 a month on gas, 50 a month for insurance and 50 a month for the phone bill, and he paid nothing for his car, insurance, phone, gas, nothing. So you would think he would be expected to help in the house more but no. Also, James’s behavior towards Scott mimicked my parents and so all babysitting responsibilities fell on me as they couldn’t be trusted alone together. I was rarely if ever paid for my cleaning or babysitting services as it was my responsibility as their eldest child. They would also consistently judge me for my weight, cloths, hair, hobbies, etc. Why did I think it was a good idea to get fast food? I clearly didn’t need it. They would “outfit check me” to make sure the outfits I wore were feminine enough because the way I look effected their reputation and I couldn’t be trusted. I was not allowed to cut my hair after their tantrum over it. As for my hobbies, I stopped playing sports in middle school as I am very short (currently 5 foot even) and was unable to keep up with my peers. However my interest in video games and cartoons wasn’t feminine enough and they proceeded to compare me to my best friend Grace because she was skinnier and liked more feminine things than I did which hurt a lot. Another thing for context, I have PCOS. It’s an endocrine disorder that heavily effects your metabolism and hormones, which in turn severely effected my weight, however my parents never acknowledged it and again made everything my fault. So from what I wore, what I ate, who I hung out with and what I enjoyed doing was constantly criticized, scrutinized and eventually controlled by my family for years. On top of everything else, I was done. I was 18, I had resaved the thousand I paid my family and knew I was at a place where I didn’t need them and was tired of being treated like shit. So I left.
The night I moved out was a total shit show. I had rallied Dean and my other friend, let’s call them Rita (18NB), and they helped me form a plan. When I returned home, Dean and Rita would be on their way. I would pack everything that belonged to me or I felt they would let me take, and prep the bags outside. After Rita arrived I went to try and explain to my parents that I would be leaving and explain calmly why. In a perfect world, we would have had a long deep talk, and things would have ended alright. That is far, far from what happened. They immediately starting screaming, and took my phone and car keys as both belonged to them, which I calmly handed over. Rita was there for emotional support, and put themselves between me and my parents as they got more angry and seemed to be turning aggressive. After that, my father called the police and claimed that there was an intruder in their home trying to take their child. Yeah. Complete bullshit- which to this day I’m surprised they were never charged with falsifying a 911 call. They screamed at Rita to get out of their home and was screaming that I was throwing away everything and I needed to reconsider. I ignored them and attempted to calmly walk out, and my parents attempted to barricade the doors while harassing Rita to leave. Because Rita is incredible and one of my closest friends now, they refused to leave without me which was very calming. While my parents were distracted yelling at them, I slipped out through the garage. My mother saw this and then grabbed me, attempting to drag me inside by my arm. Rita saw this and assisted me in getting her off me, and after doing so we continued to walk towards Dean’s car where he was waiting for us. He figured it would be best if my family didn’t see him for the time being as they would definitely lose their minds at seeing his face. My parents continued screaming and then the cops arrived. They were quite confused at first because they had been sent to deal with a potential kidnapping, only to see two grown adults throwing a tantrum because their adult child didn’t want to live with them anymore. That night was honestly so insane I could write three more pages about everything they said and did. The most notable events were first when my mother tried to explain to the police that because I was her child, she was allowed to put her hands on me, which they humorously informed her was not the case. The next was when James came home from theater rehearsal, to which my parents told them that I was abandoning our family. He was an emotional wreck through all of it, and to this day has told me that until I “fix” things with our parents he is not okay with having any form of relationship with me. Throughout all of this Scott was in his room, and I was allowed to give him one last hug before leaving. The final and most notable thing, was as the cops allowed my boyfriend, Rita and I to leave, my father threatened violence towards my boyfriend and accused him of "taking advantage of his underage daughter," which is just ridiculous as we are practically the same age, and anything we had done together was consensual and reserved for after I turned 18. Another thing my parents did was go through each bag I had packed and took everything they felt belonged to them, including the laptop provided to me by my high school, which they hilariously were made to give back to me several days later as it was not theirs and they had no right to take it. They tried claiming they were giving it to me out of the kindness of their hearts, but that bullshit meant nothing as after I informed the school of their behavior, the school assured me they would be made to give it back. Another thing they threatened to do as I left was pull me out of high school, which I was assured by the police they were not capable of doing as I was 18. The police were for the most part annoyed with my parents, tired of their bs and told me I seemed to be a capable young woman and wished me the best of luck. My parents had tried to ask the police to say I was mentally unstable for the time being so I wouldn’t be allowed to leave, as their “she’s still in high school” excuse didn’t do anything. You see, as my father is an influential church figure and had friends in the police force, he thought they would be on his side but was sorely mistaken as the chief told him they wouldn’t be doing him any favors. And with that, I was free.
My boyfriend's family has been nothing but unconditionally kind and supportive and have accepted me as part of their family which has been a huge blessing in all of this. I am in contact with my father’s sister and his father, my aunt and grandpa, and as I have expressed my unhappiness at home, they are supportive of me as well. However, as my aunt lives further away and my grandpa is not in the best place to have me live with him, I have been with my boyfriend's family since I left home in October. I have a lot more I could say but I already feel like there are way too many parts here and so for now I’ll leave it at this. So yeah, AITA for moving out after I was treated like shit for years while witnessing the mistreatment of my sibling?

Like the title says, whenever i’m using my cruiser my board pulls to the right.
it’s only when im pushing, once im on the board i can maneuver around just fine since i’m balanced on the board but it keeps killing my momentum. so whenever i try to push for some speed, it’ll start to pull to the right and unless i put my back foot on quickly, i’ll lose my balance.
if anyone has any idea on how i can fix this please help😭

Hello all,
I'm a PGY3 doing residency in the southern US. Currently weighing the options of doing a cornea fellowship vs comprehensive. I've spoken with multiple attendings regarding this topic, but we dont work with that many comp ophthalmologists, especially in smaller cities, so looking to hopefully get a broad range of responses and opinions in regard to my thought process.
Thought process:
I'm from a rural midwest area without much competition, planning on moving back or close to this area, but to a small-medium city setting, possibly on fringe of large city (not chicago), so I dont feel as though I absolutely absolutely need fellowship training to obtain a job competition-wise. I'm interested in cornea/external/refractive, however I dont feel a huge unrelenting pull to the area, but am moreso interested in broadening my clinical skills and surgical skills with fellowship training. In addition, my ideal practice model would be that of Comp Plus Cornea private practice, mainly doing cataract surgery and basic cornea or DMEK/DSEK with infrequent PKPs, maybe some lasik but not heavy refractive, rather than frank Cornea practice. I feel as though I will be decently prepared after residency for basic cataract surgery - not poor training but not incredible, as our numbers tend to run around 130-160 but with good variety.
Pros for Comp

1. Choices; Get to choose what you want to really do in terms of phaco, could learn/do MIGS, minor plastics, Med retina and premium IOL where I would likely practice. That being said, COULD do this after Cornea as well - of course.
2. One less year of training and one more of higher income, one less move (being optimistic)
3. Its not always a bad thing to "not" be the subspecialist and be able to refer challenging cases/situations that can be a pain to deal with. Avoid being ulcer dump.
4. No reason you cant be an awesome advanced surgeon without fellowship

Cons for Comp

1. Job availability: partner and I may choose to live somewhere "fun" (not Chicago, NYC, or Cali) for a few years before moving back to the midwest, Cornea training would help to secure a job in more desirable markets for this time period and of course for future.
2. Referrals: I've seen several well established cornea folks who get excellent referrals for phaco and premium IOLs given their additional training. In addition, many practices with senior Comp docs who dont plan on retiring any time soon seem to eat up lots of these cataract referrals and without subspecialty experience, why would they come to me vs someone more established, especially in regards to premium IOL. I would like to be a busy surgeon in the OR a lot.
3. Less skills/training: it seems that fewer and fewer ideal practice situations exist where a skilled senior partner mentor exists that would be willing to help you enhance skills or learn new ones. While I trust myself to be able to learn, I'm not a cowboy and do like the idea of having someone assist with learning new complex techniques.
4. Routine cataract reimbursement will probably continue to fall, premium IOL referrals will likely be as important as ever in the future.

Pros for Cornea

1. Interesting: I find cornea interesting, yes, but more so from a procedural and surgical standpoint rather than academic and the ability to add to variety of surgeries/procedures I would do.
2. Enhanced anterior segment skills: a majority of the best surgeons I've seen have been cornea trained, often learn SFIOL, reconstruction, etc. Would be nice to offer minor transplants and have skills/experience to do PKP if needed, but really dont want to be heavy in cornea.
3. More ability to choose ideal city or practice setting to work in
4. Several cornea trained folks have said the skills and knowledge they learned in fellowship have been invaluable to their career and would greatly enhance things even in a straight comp practice.

Cons for Cornea

1. Another year, another match, getting tired of training and partner and I would like to settle down soon. However, we are very open to another year of training and this isnt a non negotiable thing by any means, just something I think about.
2. No guarantee of better job prospects or income
3. No reason Comp cant be excellent surgeon if motivated to seek out learning from others more experienced
4. Afraid of being an ulcer dump and not a huge fan of keratoconus
5. With the goal of living in a small/mod sized city and comp/plus cornea career goals, would I even do enough transplants to maintain skills at high enough level? Would I be forced to be "the cornea guy" and end up getting nothing but cornea problems thrown at me? I know you can choose your practice style, but Im not sure if this is a reality of a situation like this.

Id really appreciate any opinions on all of this from both sides, especially from smaller-medium city comp docs if possible. Thanks so much in advance!

I recently built a new PC with the AIR 903 MAX case which has 3 fans in the front and one in the back. This case has a this on board controller thing (I’m not sure what it’s called) where I plugged all the fans into, and to power that thing, you plug it into the PSU… so the fans aren’t on the MOBO, so the MOBO doesn’t even recognize these fans. The only fans the MOBO recognizes is the CPU cooler which IS connected to the MOBO. Any idea what I can do or switch around to make the case fans recognizable? There doesn’t seem to be any software or anything for this and they’re running at full speed all the time. I’m trying to turn them down!

The supernatural is a very real and very dangerous thing, Oftentimes taking the form of cognito hazards.Whether it be demon's ghost.Or what have you every species has had to deal with them.
When humans came along we congratulated them to seeing the wider galaxy. Another space faring species that can hopefully add towards the library of knowledge in fighting off Supernatural.
In the first few months nothing Super out of the normal happened there were Possession Hauntings what have you.
What's something strange happened on one are these incidents. The job Priest and preacher Hold no known Is correlations to any other species.
So when one was brought a board And gathered other humans and meetings We just assumed it was a leader of sorts Organizing.
On the space station orbiting a red sun on a mining world a human was possessed. Quickly think you got everything we Salt and iron didn't seem to work. So this must have been a demons work.
We were preparing to send the family A sorry note and compensation as there is no known cure for demon possession.
Then the "priest" came in We figured around a Talisman the shape of a sorwd and As I was later informed a cross.
He spouted words of "God" will not let you have one of his Sheep and the alike. We just assumed he was desperate to save one of his underlings. Whoever this "God" fellow was must have been very caring.
We were preparing to put him down before the demon could cause any harm. Then it happened.The demon was suddenly expelled from his body. Kicking and screaming the shape of smoke, blood and iron Somehow it was crying.
It spoken tongues , but instead of tormenting, it was begging for the pagan to end.
We have no idea what happened at the time. We began asking questions on how they figured out to save those from demonic possession. And all they were spotted in kind was pray to God And love jesus.
Not satisfied with these answers.I began conducting research into the History of this.
And what are you found It's left me both mentally unfit to continue research and horrified of the implications.
I began my research looking through old Ways of curing demonic possession. But I found coalessing words more often than not. There was no one way among the humans to do it. But I kept finding a hot word if you will. HOLY.
I will spare you the hours and hours of research. I put into this but I will skip to the end result of my conclusion.
It is not that there is some cure for demonic possession. Or even resistance to it. This intimatic figure has been protecting them Their entire existence impossibly even created them.
They do not know what's name only Referring to it as God. The highest reference you can give something in their culture.
All my research came ahead when I found "The bible" It was text Depicting ancient stories of this figure protecting its people. It even showed a possible beginning for damons. And they're supposed leader Lucifer.
One thing I know for certain though. Is that whatever this is, it is powerful There has only been one recorded instance of it "Looking away" from one of its sheep when apparently one of them betrayed its son.
When I try to perform the ritual of true sight And using a focus of the bible to see what this figure looked like. I could not describe... it nor do I wish to There was a Phrase said when one of its messengers Talk to one of the caretakers of its child.
Be not afraid. . . . . I am putting this all down into a audio file.Recording with all my past research on it. Goodbye We do not live in gods light. . BANG.
Should I make more? Is this a good one shot

Neurodivergents and Nerds will be hosting a board game afternoon at the Urbana Free Library in The Satterthwaite Conference Room on Saturday May 18th at 4:00 PM. Parking is free at that time. Feel free to bring any board games that you like, and come meet some neurodivergent people!
For food, only "light refreshments (such as box or bag lunches, cookies, finger foods, soft drinks, etc.)" are allowed.
Feel free to join our discord server if you want to talk, and to give us an idea of how many people will come: https://discord.gg/jhmYbfcm4a
The holding of this event, meeting, or program at the Library shall not in any way be construed or interpreted as an endorsement of the same or any idea expressed during the same by the Library or any of its trustees, officers, or employees.

Hi everyone,
I apologize in advance for complaining or seeming ungrateful. I've been without a job since January of this year (was ghosted) and it's been really hard to stay motivated to keep looking. For reference, I graduated with a degree in marketing in 2022, got certifications and whatnot, and then had an internship from October 2022 to Feb 2023. I started my last job and it lasted from Feb 2023 till January of this year. One flex I have is that the main campaign we worked on was last summer which was a pricey multi-day camp, once I was on the team the attendance doubled and generated around 30-40K more than the previous year which I take decent credit for since I spearheaded the creative campaigns for as well as grinded most of the graphics and copywriting (I had help and revisions were made, but the original ideas and a lot of heavy lifting was on my end. I was also involved in school (2+ years of volunteer social media work), and now have over a year of real work experience. I've been lucky to get a few interviews but they never turn into anything. I've been really spoiled with working remote for my internship and my last job, and I really don't think I have the mental capacity/desire to be in office especially if its a random city I'd have to move to.
I've been making gaming related youtube videos for a good 3ish months now which I love and has gotten me a lot of great skills for marketing (video and audio editing/recording). I kinda wish I could grind this guilt-free for a while but know it's unrealistic and it wouldn't be bringing in money now or maybe even ever. I would love to try contract/freelance work to get by in the meantime but I just feel so unmotivated. I love marketing, working with social media, and email marketing related stuff. I also love SEO and keyword research. But I feel like just rotting away at dead-end opportunities to build more on my portfolio to hopefully get a job sounds like hell. I also feel like I have the intelligence and experience to not have to dive back into the intern/volunteer side. Thinking further ahead, it seems that the higher you climb the corporate ladder, the worse your life gets (seen it in many people in my family/friends). Now I'm really just questioning what I even want to do with my life. It's not that I don't want to work, but I really wish I had the luxury of finding a way out of this weird rat race where I feel like I'm losing in every aspect. Although I wouldn't mind another remote marketing position, I again just question what that would even lead to long term. I feel like I either would be stuck at the bottom, or the flip side is to get a few promotions and hate my life every day. I've had a few people reach out on job sites asking to do in-person interviews and although I went to one, I've declined the rest. I just don't see myself being the type of person to be in house and I know being picky is my fault but I want to be happy with my job. I don't get how so many people just suffer through their jobs willingly for decades. I feel like I use my free time somewhat well, I go to the gym a lot, spend time working on youtube related stuff, and glance over emails or messages and apply to anything that looks good every once in a while, job boards I use take a decent bit to get more listings, but the more I spend looking for another job, it feels like I'm just inching myself towards more hell for my future. I feel like I'm just in this weird purgatory and I don't know what to do next and I feel like the clock is always ticking, the money I have saved won't last forever, my parent's are not going to let me stay with them forever, and the longer I wait, the bigger the gap is in my resume and the more problems it causes. I wish I could be a self starter type in the marketing field, slowly build a name for myself and do things the way I want to do them, but I feel like marketing is a hard field to get into that kind of thing. I don't know what to do.
*TLDR*:
I just want to be happy in life and I feel like grinding the corporate ladder is not what I want to do. I feel lost and I don't know what to do. I feel like my experience is meaningless in a sea full of people who have my skills but are way ahead of me, way more savvy, way more personable.

The supernatural is a very real and very dangerous thing, Oftentimes taking the form of cognito hazards.Whether it be demon's ghost.Or what have you every species has had to deal with them.
When humans came along we congratulated them to seeing the wider galaxy. Another space faring species that can hopefully add towards the library of knowledge in fighting off Supernatural.
In the first few months nothing Super out of the normal happened there were Possession Hauntings what have you.
What's something strange happened on one are these incidents. The job Priest and preacher Hold no known Is correlations to any other species.
So when one was brought a board And gathered other humans and meetings We just assumed it was a leader of sorts Organizing.
On the space station orbiting a red sun on a mining world a human was possessed. Quickly think you got everything we Salt and iron didn't seem to work. So this must have been a demons work.
We were preparing to send the family A sorry note and compensation as there is no known cure for demon possession.
Then the "priest" came in We figured around a Talisman the shape of a sorwd and As I was later informed a cross.
He spouted words of "God" will not let you have one of his Sheep and the alike. We just assumed he was desperate to save one of his underlings. Whoever this "God" fellow was must have been very caring.
We were preparing to put him down before the demon could cause any harm. Then it happened.The demon was suddenly expelled from his body. Kicking and screaming the shape of smoke, blood and iron Somehow it was crying.
It spoken tongues , but instead of tormenting, it was begging for the pagan to end.
We have no idea what happened at the time. We began asking questions on how they figured out to save those from demonic possession. And all they were spotted in kind was pray to God And love jesus.
Not satisfied with these answers.I began conducting research into the History of this.
And what are you found It's left me both mentally unfit to continue research and horrified of the implications.
I began my research looking through old Ways of curing demonic possession. But I found coalessing words more often than not. There was no one way among the humans to do it. But I kept finding a hot word if you will. HOLY.
I will spare you the hours and hours of research. I put into this but I will skip to the end result of my conclusion.
It is not that there is some cure for demonic possession. Or even resistance to it. This intimatic figure has been protecting them Their entire existence impossibly even created them.
They do not know what's name only Referring to it as God. The highest reference you can give something in their culture.
All my research came ahead when I found "The bible" It was text Depicting ancient stories of this figure protecting its people. It even showed a possible beginning for damons. And they're supposed leader Lucifer.
One thing I know for certain though. Is that whatever this is, it is powerful There has only been one recorded instance of it "Looking away" from one of its sheep when apparently one of them betrayed its son.
When I try to perform the ritual of true sight And using a focus of the bible to see what this figure looked like. I could not describe... it nor do I wish to There was a Phrase said when one of its messengers Talk to one of the caretakers of its child.
Be not afraid. . . . . I am putting this all down into a audio file.Recording with all my past research on it. Goodbye We do not live in gods light.
BANG.
Should I make more? Is this a good one shot

Hubby and I live in a 55+ mobile home park built around an executive-sized golf course in Southern California. We pay lot rent of $1600/mo and that includes unlimited free golf. The course is mostly in great shape, fun, narrowish fairways so a bit challenging. There are 200+ homes here, and about 10% of them are for sale right now, as we just experienced a large rent increase. The mobile homes currently on the market are priced from $135k - $359k - some are as old as 1970s era, a few are almost new.
Want to live here? Better yet, as golfers, tell me your ideas on how we can attract senior retired golfers. How do we get the word out? I’m not a real estate agent but it seems the agents with current listings in the park take such a passive approach. We want golfers! Not trying to be snobby toward those who don’t play, certainly it’s not a requirement to live here, but I know those who play golf will be most happy here and are most likely to see the value.
Any ideas? Thanks!

The amount of people that simply do not respond despite putting in a ton of effort on their post is astounding. I understand that a lot of guys use this to try and meet women but the spirit of the subreddit is to make connections with anyone that shares interests. So when I go through the checklist of a person who is of similar age, almost exactly the same hobbies as me, and is looking for people to talk to about those hobbies, I am constantly shocked when I get zero responses from them. And I get it, the introduction message has to stand out and can't be generic. It gets demoralizing to introduce yourself to a blank screen over and over again. The irony in this is that I know these people respond because they almost immediately respond to my wife when she also sends them a DM. Just be transparent with what your intentions are and the sub will operate better.
For ANYONE (+18) who would actually like to chat, hit me up or drop me a DM. I'm a 34/m, married with kids just looking for people to socialize with and make connections based on shared interests. I'm an open book and genuinely enjoy getting to know people and learn about their interests. I enjoy most sports but mainly watch NBA (Boston Celtics) and NFL (Patriots). I've been big into horror movies lately and love a good paranormal or unexplained story. I used to play a ton of board games and would like to get into them again. I published my own board game, have about 15 more concepts drawn out, and would really enjoy hearing other people's ideas and concepts. I love to learn new things and if you want to share more about your hobbies I will gladly listen and maybe even pick it up.
This is not intended as a complaint for those that do only want to talk to the opposite gender, I get it. I just know that I'm probably not the only person that is experiencing this.

Especially when the other pieces were shoved through my letterbox the next day, and the next, and the next.

Every morning before I go to FD, I usually go to the gym, and afterward, I pick up a protein shake. The other day, right when I got in, my Chief told me to jump on the rescue with another guy and go do a medical assist call. I then saw my Lt arriving. I told him I was going to go to the call and handed him my protein shake so he could put it in the fridge however I didn't tell him that, it was more implied. Right when we got back, we had a structure fire. It was a small garage, and we knocked it down quickly. Right when we got back, I remembered my shake and went for it, but it was gone. When I went to ask the lieutenant what he did with it, I noticed he was making strange faces. He told me he drank it because he thought I had gotten it for him. In his defense, I have brought him shakes before. I was about to tell him it wasn't for him when I noticed he was holding his stomach. Then I snapped the shake I get has to be drunk on an empty stomach, or you'll be in the restroom on the toilet for most of the day. When I asked him if he had eaten, he said yes he had a big breakfast before he came in. Uh oh... the rest of the day he kept running to the restroom, and the guys were messing with him badly throughout the whole day while he was on the toilet. The Lt loves to pull pranks on the other guys on shift and no one has gotten him in years with one. Everyone including the Lt thinks I did that purposely when it very much an accident and since he's been try to get me back. So far I found water balloons in boots, weights in my gear, the wood boards that go under mattress on to the bed frame, they keep the mattress from falling down, those were missing, and transmission fluid in shampoo bottle. Luckily I'm catching all this in time. Any ideas on how to get him back in the likely event he gets his payback.

So I'm using Godot because I'm programming on a laptop but I'm making a game similar to a tower defense I love playing and the reason why I love playing it will be at the end. but what right now I'm confused and struggling with is a algorithm similar to random dice pvp 111% but I was thinking about maybe situational randomness like you spent for an upgrade for the basic tower in a match then with that and also how much currency you have left and then how many towers and then how far the enemies had progressed it will randomize from a your chance to get one of 5 towers. and I'm wondering if this is a good idea and or a bad thing to try when you're new to making games. then it would be towers placements when you use the ui when I implement it to activate the roll method to see what you get out of 1 of 5 towers placed on your board in a random location.

DANCING WITH THE STARS: THE PROS' MOST ICONIC QUOTES ✨

Day	Pro Dancer	Quote
1	Karina Smirnoff	"Is there any reason why your head looks like a pigeon?"
2	Valentin Chmerkovskiy	"Bro, you're one big wrong already."
3	Witney Carson	"What do you need, a snack?"
4	Anna Trebunskaya	"Some people say I'm a tough teacher. And I am."
5	Brandon Armstrong	"I was born in '94..."
6	Cheryl Burke	"So the name of the song is 'Call Me Irresponsible', remind you of anybody? I think it's perfect for you!"
7	Edyta Śliwińska	"I'm wearing so much clothes that I got tangled in it!"
8	Artem Chigvintsev	"Fine! I watched 'Fifty Shades of Grey'!"
9	Corky Ballas	"Now we're doing the Mambo which originated in the '40s!"...
10	Chelsie Hightower	"South America speaks Spanish?"
11	Derek Hough	"I'm rough, I'm tough, I'm Derek Hough."
12	Charlotte Jørgensen	"Get your heel up on your back foot, or I'll kill you."
13	Allison Holker	"Team Rallison!!!"
14	Julianne Hough	"I felt like you just had to phone it in so you could get back with Meryl."
15	Alec Mazo	"Josie is deceptively unfit."
16	Alan Bersten	"It's a little shaky in here!"
17	Jenna Johnson	"ADAM! WE GOTTA QUICKSTEP!!!"
18	Ashly DelGrosso-Costa	"It needs to be equal teamwork, and I can't play a tug-of-war anymore."
19	Gleb Savchenko	"You look like a dancer when you're not moving."
20	Kym Johnson-Herjavec	"I should never have made us try that stupid lift..."
21	Maksim Chmerkovskiy	"With all due respect, this is my show, I help make it what it is."
22	Lacey Schwimmer	"STEVE!!! How am I supposed to be in love with you if you keep farting all the time?!?!"
23	Mark Ballas	“And you said habede habeduh de de. Daba da dip bah da be. That’s what you said when I asked you."
24	Lindsay Arnold	"That salsa will get ya-every time!"
25	Louis Van Amstel	"I was jealous of Mark on Season 5, but I got the girl now!"
26	Koko Iwasaki	"You're a real Jersey party boy, and I need you to be a suave English gentleman for Bond Night."
27	Keo Motsepe	"If Len gives a 10, I'm gonna run down and kiss him!"
28	Peta Murgatroyd	Her scream after finding out that she and Tommy Chong had made the semi-finals.
29	Pasha Pashkov	"You don't know who I am, but I've been praying I get you!"
30	Sasha Farber	"If you wanna dance, you know it would be my honour. My main worrybis your health."
31	Jonathan Roberts	"Let's take a commercial break."
32	Daniella Karagach	"YEAH! OH SHIT!!!"
33	Dmitry Chaplin	"I feel like I'm cheating on Jewel with another partner."
34	Sharna Burgess	"I got to do the Backstreet Boys' move next to a Backstreet Boy, and I think it's kinda awesome!"
35	Tristan MacManus	"And I got a 7. Hurt my feelins!"
36	Britt Stewart	"Daniel!"
37	Rylee Arnold
38	Tony Dovolani
39	Emma Slater

Welcome to DANCING WITH THE STARS: THE PROS' MOST ICONIC QUOTES ✨

A huge thank you to the lovely u/invader_holly who suggested the idea, and that I run this game here! 💕
How does it work?
Each day, I'll reshare this board. With each day is a new pro. Similarly to past games I've done like Dances of the Seasons, The Dancing with the Stars Alphabet, Favourite Dances Per Style, and The Pros' Most Memorable Dances, for every day, you can all comment a response. This time, the response would be a quote from the respective pro for that day! As with previous games, the comment with the most upvotes wins. At the end, I'll put together a video compilation together!
MAKE SURE THAT IF YOU WANT TO SUGGEST NUMEROUS QUOTES, DO THEM EACH IN A SEPERATE COMMENT. THE COMMENT WITH THE MOST UPVOTES WINS AND IS ADDED TO THE BOARD. IF POSSIBLE, PLEASE TRY AND ADD WHEN THE PRO SAYS THE QUOTE (SO I CAN FIND THE CLIP TO ADD TO THE VIDEO COMPILATION).
Yesterday's round was won by u/gottacatchemsome 's suggestion!

DAY 37: RYLEE ARNOLD

I think a fo3 remade on classic fallout wouldnbe a good idea, but could use changed

1. Better writing, we could rework locations and characters so it has better writing
   
2. Big map, in the classics, maps were as big as a state, I think it'd be neat to make fo3 as big as Washington DC, maybe divide locations and label them
   
3. Make raiders and mutants actually have faction names ans quests instead of being generic enemy fodder. It'd be nice to see new raider gangs similar to the khans, maybe flesh out the icegangs from that Nuka cola quest or make some mutants smart and capable of conversation. This would also make evergreen mills a location with quests and npcs.
   
4. Keep locations from fo3 as lootable places. Some locations in fo3 were pretty much loot only dungeons, it'd be cool to keep em, but also maybe add some more spice, however some locations can be random encounters. Or perhaps accessable from bulletin boards or word of mouth, or simple connected in a town.
   
5. Make some settlements bigger than they actually are, Such as Megaton, maybe perhaps make it part of the airport that was used to make the city, and make the city a bit bigger but still megaton.
   
6. Add fo3 weapons and ammo, but not all. Fo3 has some new guns compared to fo1/2 and it's be cool to add, like the Tesla cannon, fatman, r91, assault rifle, combat shotgun, aer laser guns. But some weapons don't need to be added, like Chinese pistol, .32 rifle, 10mm smg, sawed off, as classic fallout already has similar devices.
   
7. Make important npcs have talking heads, for example, megaton could have 3 talking heads, burke Lucas sims and moira brown.
   
8. Retcon stuff,it's ok to change stuff, like the map being more bigger or megaton being a airport or some npcs changed l.
   
9. New sprites. It'd be nice to have new sprites for enemies, such as mirelurks, east coast mutants, t-45 power armor, and some npcs.
   
10. Skill books. I think all skills deserve skill books, that is all.
    

I’m so glad this sub exists because I’ve been annoying everyone in my life with my theories about these two … I figured this would be the right place to post my speculation/lyric breakdowns of songs that they may have written about each other, split into different posts for albums for ease of reading.
Starting with Reputation (2017) – I imagine the failed relationship with Matty was still fresh for Taylor during the writing/recording of this album. Her reference to her “longings locked in lowercase inside a vault” definitely made me look back at Rep in a way I hadn’t before (and I do think we’ll see some Matty-coded vault tracks on TV”. That said I don’t want to erase her other relationships, especially with Joe, so I’ll make notes of where I think I’m either stretching for a Matty connection or I think there are multiple muses.
Special mention to “Getaway Car” which feels like another (fictionalized?) response to Robbers but the story she tells is very similar to her fling with Tom, especially given the third man in the song. I usually claim it for the maylors anyway bc who cares about Tom. Let me know what you think.
“...Ready For It?”
Knew he was a killer first time that I saw him / Wonder how many girls he had loved and left haunted / But if he's a ghost, then I can be a phantom
I can't ignore the connections here to two other songs thought to be written about M - Ghost (2014) and Haunted (2015) by Halsey (I won't bother going into the HalseyMatty lore here but I could in another post...)
"You're a Rolling Stone boy, never-sleep-alone boy / Got a million numbers and they're filling up your phone, boy" (Ghost) "I'm begging you to keep on haunting me" (Haunted) "My ghost / Where'd you go? / I can't find you in the body sleeping next to me" (Ghost)
I can be a phantom holdin' him for ransom / Knew I was a robber first time that he saw me / Stealing hearts and running off and never saying sorry / But if I'm a thief, then he can join the heist / And he can be my jailer
Robbers is one of The 1975’s most famous songs. In the music video two lovers stick up a convenience store - definitely worth a watch if you haven't seen it. In 2014 M dedicated the song to T in Dallas in November 2017 (a week after she attended the concert in LA) here and here
Burton to this Taylor
One of my favorite references that I think reveals a lot about the messy but irresistible relationship M and T seem to have. Here's a link to a great article about the wild love affair between Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton.
Every love I've known in comparison is a failure / I forget their names now, I'm so very tame now / Never be the same now
This sentiment is repeated throughout many of the songs I believe are about M. The idea of a life altering love is obviously prevalent across TTPD but also in folklore, evermore, and Midnights. ex. "I'm never gonna love again" (cowboy like me), "I don't remember who I was before you painted all my nights a color I have searched for since" (Question...?), "I felt aglow like this / Never before and never since" (loml)
Also want to mention This Must Be My Dream from 2016, which M has said is about an older gf but may fit: "Let me tell you 'bout this girl / I thought she'd rearrange my world"
No one has to know / In the middle of the night, in my dreams / You should see the things we do, baby
See Guilty as Sin? lol
Baby, let the games begin
Taylor in an interview with Glamour in February 2014:
TS: [Nods. Pauses.] I think everyone should approach relationships from the perspective of playing it straight and giving someone the benefit of the doubt. Until he establishes that this is a game. And if it's a game, you need to win. The best thing to do is just walk away from the table.
CL: Is that winning?
TS: It is when they come back. [Laughs.] And if they don't, then they didn't care enough to begin with.
conclusion: I believe ...Ready For It? is a response to Robbers and reveals M and T's similar romanticism (sometimes toxic but so addicting). The mirrored stylization of ...Ready For It? and Question...? makes me think the latter is a continuation of the former. The mentions of “island breeze” and “we’ll move to an island” have made people believe this song is about Tom Hiddleston but other lyrics, namely “younger than my exes” pretty clearly contradicts that.
"End Game"
I wanna be your end game / I wanna be your first string /I wanna be your A-Team
Funny reading this after The Alchemy and So High School.
Big reputation, big reputation / Ooh, you and me, we got big reputations / And you heard about me / Ooh, you and me would be a big conversation
And they were! Especially because T hadn't been really linked to anyone after Harry, the speculation about her and M came hard and fast. M especially was inundated with questions in the months after the LA and NYC shows.
And I heard about you / You like the bad ones, too
Another possible reference to a Halsey song, this time Hurricane from 2014: "He says, "Oh, baby, beggin' you to save me / Well, lately I like 'em crazy/ Oh, maybe, you could devastate me"
I don't wanna touch you, I don't wanna be / Just another ex-love you don't wanna see / I don't wanna miss you / Like the other girls do
Very reminiscent of The 1975's song Somebody Else, released in 2016, speculated to be about T: "I don't want your body / But I hate to think about you with somebody else"
I hit you like bang, we tried to forget it, but we just couldn't
"Flashbacks waking me up / I get drunk, but it's not enough" (Death By A Thousand Cuts)
And I bury hatchets, but I keep maps of where I put 'em
"I circled you on a map / I haven't come around in so long" (The Alchemy)
Reputation precedes me, they told you I'm crazy
"And they tried to warn you about me" (The Albatross)
And I can't let you go, your hand prints on my soul
"Marked me like a bloodstain" (Cardigan)
It's like your eyes are liquor, it's like your body is gold
So many of the songs speculated to be about M reference his eyes but the most relevant (not the starry eyed motif which we'll get to in the future) are: "Eyes like sinking ships on waters / So inviting I almost jump in" (gold rush) and "But your eyes are flying saucers from another planet / Now I'm all for you like Janet" (Snow On The Beach)
"Deep blue, but you painted me golden" (Dancing With Our Hands Tied)
You've been calling my bluff on all my usual tricks / So here's the truth from my red lips
From the same Glamour article, Taylor talking about her 'trick' when dating:
CL: What's the freeze-out?
TS: You don't respond to any of his texts or calls until he does something desperate [like] shows up. Or he calls and leaves a voice mail. Something that makes it very clear to you that he's interested.
disclaimer: I am someone who thinks the Tom relationship was not that serious for T, so this song imo fits what she may have told us about her relationship with M more, though the beach reference does point to Tom in a way.
"Don't Blame Me"
I've been breaking hearts a long time / And toying with them older guys / Just playthings for me to use
See the quotes from the Glamour article above. "Younger than my exes, but he act like such a man, so" (...Ready For It?)
Something happened for the first time / In the darkest little paradise
May refer to the dark concert venue where they met for the first time (see So It Goes... for more)
For you / I would cross the line / I would waste my time / I would lose my mind / They say, "She's gone too far this time."
Sentiment that is repeated throughout TTPD, but most clearly in But Daddy I Love Him
My name is whatever you decide / And I'm just gonna call you mine
Though this could be a stretch, in the spotify storyline for The 1975's Oh Caroline (2022), speculated to be about T, M said "It's an invented character, where the cadence really mattered. It couldn't be "Oh Linda" or "Oh Jane" [or "Oh Taylor"] - you had to have a 3 syllable that really works. I knew what the song was about, I had felt that about someone before and I got to write an episodic, mini movie about the subject"
disclaimer: If about M, this song is very on the nose with the drug references. Generally it's a very vague song and could easily be about Joe or another ex.
"So It Goes..."
See you in the dark / All eyes on you, my magician / All eyes on us / You make everyone disappear
Likely refers to the first time T saw M in person, when she was front row at The 1975's LA show. All eyes were on M then (including T's)
"Once upon a time, the planets and the fates / And all the stars aligned / You and I ended up in the same room / At the same time" (Mastermind)
Tripping, tripping when you're gone
May relate to Don't Blame Me: "Trip of my life / every time you're touching me"
'Cause we breakdown a little / But when you get me alone, it's so simple
Maybe a stretch but M famously had a breakdown on stage in Boston on December 6, 2014. In an interview with the Guardian he said: “There was girl stuff. There was family stuff. There was financial stuff. There was drug stuff. I remember hearing the crowd and having an identity crisis. I thought: ‘If you want to see a show, I’ll give you a fucking show. If you’ve come to see the jester drink himself into a slumber, I’ll give it to you.’ I felt like I’d become an idea as opposed to being a person.”
“And I was 25 and afraid to go outside” (Give Yourself a Try)
And all the pieces fall / Right into place
"I laid the groundwork and then, just like clockwork / The dominoes cascaded in a line" (Mastermind)
Getting caught up in a moment / Lipstick on your face
"I said, "Don't fall in love with the moment" / She said I've got a lot to learn / Don't fall in love with the moment /And think you're in love with the girl" (She's American)
Come here, dressed in black now
"Yeah, we're dressed in black from head to toe" (Chocolate). Taylor was also wearing all black the night of the LA show.
conclusion: You did a number on me / But, honestly, baby, who's counting? / I did a number on you / But, honestly, baby, who's counting? ( "King of My Heart"
We met a few weeks ago / Now you try on callin' me "baby" like tryin' on clothes
The reason why I don't necessarily think Joe fits. They met at the Met Gala in 2017 and she very quickly started seeing Tom, obviously it could still be him but I wanted to note this.
"Don't call me 'kid,' don't call me 'baby' / Look at this idiotic fool that you made me" (illicit affairs)
And you move to me like I'm a Motown beat
M loves Motown, even sampling a track by The Temptations on Tonight (I Wish I Was Your Boy). He's also always loved dancing, which you can see in the videos for A Change of Heart and Oh Caroline.
Salute to me I'm your American Queen / Say you fancy me, not fancy stuff
He's English, obviously.
And we rule the kingdom inside my room / With all these nights we're spending / Up on the roof with a school girl crush
Totally speculation but M and T hiding out in her NYC home makes a lot of sense from other pieces she has shared about the relationship “My kingdom come undone” (Hoax)
Late in the night, the city's asleep / Your love is a secret I'm hoping, dreaming, dying to keep
Speculation again but fits with the story of M and T as mostly loving each other in secret (see Dancing With Our Hands Tied and Dress)
Is this the end of all the endings? / My broken bones are mending
As mentioned above, T had seemingly taken a break from dating after the breakup with Harry.
disclaimer: Definitely not 100% sure on this one as there is convincing evidence that it is about J
"Dancing With Our Hands Tied"
I, I loved you in secret / First sight, yeah, we love without reason / Oh, 25 years old
M and T were both born in 1989, M was 25 when they first met and dated and T was turning 25.
My, my love had been frozen / People started talking, putting us through our paces / I knew there was no one in the world who could take it / I loved you in spite of / Deep fears that the world would divide us
“A red rose grew up out of ice frozen ground / With no one around to tweet it” (The Lakes)
In an interview with the Guardian Matty said: “The day after she’d been to a show of ours, someone sent me a screenshot of E! News with the headline ‘Who is Matt Healy?’ That freaked me out. I’m not ready to indulge in that world and I’m not ready to be judged by that world.” So sad to read knowing that they dealt with a similar situation nearly a decade later.
Picture of your face in an invisible locket
“Wear you like a necklace” (So It Goes…)
And darling, you had turned my bed into a sacred oasis
“Now you hang from my lips / Like the Gardens of Babylon / With your boots beneath my bed” (cowboy like me)
I'd kiss you as the lights went out / Swaying as the room burned down / I'd hold you as the water rushes in / If I could dance with you again
Reminds me so much of the music video for cardigan, where T slips into a rough ocean and hangs on to a piano. Also from cardigan: “Leaving like a father / Running like water”
“Dress”
Our secret moments in a crowded room / They got no idea about me and you
"Did you ever have someone kiss you in a crowded room / And every single one of your friends was / Making fun of you" (Question...?)
There is an indentation in the shape of you / Made your mark on me, a golden tattoo
M seemingly makes a lasting impression: “Deep blue, but you painted me golden” (Dancing With Our Hands Tied) “The mark they saw on my collarbone” (Maroon) “Marked me like a bloodstain” (cardigan)
'Cause I don't want you like a best friend
T often seems to refer to a friendship with M, perhaps they tried it a few times: “We were supposed to be just friends” (Glitch) “Like you were my closest friend” (Maroon) “Just say when, I'd play again / He was my best friend / Down at the sandlot” (My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys)
And if I get burned, at least we were electrified
“I'd kiss you as the lights went out / Swaying as the room burned down” (Dancing With Our Hands Tied)
I'm spilling wine in the bathtub / You kiss my face and we're both drunk
Many of the possible M songs refer to M and T’s love of wine. “And I can see us twisted in bedsheets / August slipped away like a bottle of wine” (august) “The burgundy on my T-shirt when you splashed your wine into me / And how the blood rushed into my cheeks, so scarlet, it was (maroon)” (Maroon)
disclaimer - Obviously most likely about Joe given the reference to the 2017 Met Gala but I think it was worth a mention!
“Call It What You Want”
My baby's fly like a jet stream / High above the whole scene
Probably a double-entendre. M considers himself slightly on the outside of the ‘scene’ but this can come across as self assurance. This also could refer to literally being high on drugs
Loves me like I'm brand new
After T’s clever use of The Starting Line in TTPD I’m convinced she’s referring to the band Brand New. M posted a Brand New album on his ig story in 2020.
All my flowers grew back as thorns
An interesting contrast to “I once was poison ivy, but now I'm your daisy” from Don’t Blame Me
Windows boarded up after the storm
“I look through the windows of this love / Even though we boarded them up” (Death By A Thousand Cuts)
I'm laughing with my lover
“Laughing with my feet in your lap” (Maroon) “Please don't ever become a stranger / Whose laugh I could recognize anywhere” (New Year’s Day)
Making forts under covers
Matty famously built a fort in ATPOAIM 3. “I'll build you a fort on some planet / Where they can all understand it” (Down Bad)
Trust him like a brother
“Like I lost my twin” (Down Bad)
Starry eyes sparking up my darkest night
So many starry eyed references which is terribly romantic and terribly sad. “Do I really have to chart the constellations in his eyes?” (High Infidelity), “Your opal eyes are all I wish to see” (ivy), “Eyes full of stars” (cowboy like me), and “Gazing at me starry-eyed” (The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived)
I want to wear his initial on a chain 'round my neck
“Picture of your face in an invisible locket” (Dancing With Our Hands Tied) “Wear you like a necklace” (So It Goes…)
I recall late November, holding my breath
Late November fits perfectly into the timeline of M and T’s 2014 relationship. Late October to Late DecembeEarly January makes the most sense.
Slowly I said, "You don't need to save me / But would you run away with me?"
“You're mad thinking you could ever save me. Not looking like that.” (A Change of Heart)
disclaimer: Again lots of Joe references in this as well so take this with a grain of salt.
“New Year’s Day”
You and me from the night before, but / Don't read the last page
From Me and You Together Song (2020): “I think the story needs more pages, yes.” The reference to “the last page” also makes this song feel like more of a reminiscence than a song about a current lover.
I want your midnights / But I'll be cleaning up bottles with you on New Year's Day
Impossible not to reread these lyrics after Midnights was released as a nod to M: “When the morning came we / Were cleaning incense off your / Vinyl shelf ‘cause we lost track of time again” (Maroon)
You squeeze my hand three times in the back of the taxi / I can tell that it's gonna be a long road / I'll be there if you're the toast of the town, babe / Or if you strike out and you're crawling home
Especially after the release of TTPD it seems that both T and M made many promises to each other that they couldn’t keep
Hold on to the memories, they will hold on to you / Hold on to the memories, they will hold on to you / Hold on to the memories, they will hold on to you / And I will hold on to you
The reference to memories here creates a bit of a confusing feeling about the muse for this song. Although T seems to be talking in the present tense I do think these are memories and dreams for a past relationship.
“Hold on and hope that we'll find our way back in the end / Do you think I have forgotten? / Do you think I have forgotten? / Do you think I have forgotten / About you?” (About You)
Please don't ever become a stranger / Whose laugh I could recognize anywhere / Please don't ever become a stranger / Whose laugh I could recognize anywhere
Not much to say about this but ow!
You and me forevermore
Again reminds me of Me and You Together Song (which I do buy as a song at least partially about T). And of course links to Evermore.
disclaimer: This could absolutely be about Joe but it does feel almost like a goodbye to M, closing the album. It’s as if she is reading “the last page”
Congrats if you read this lol. I clearly have too much time on my hands

Looking for Ideas for my next Campaign
Heyo everyone,
First of all, thank you wonderful people for joining me here. Firstly a short Overview of the setting, some ideas for the story and then i will throw a few extras in at the end. Would be happy to hear everyones thoughts to all of this, what you love or hate, what kind of cool and crazy ideas you have for me and yeah thats it actually :D Lets get into it.
System: i will be using the Cypher system, as it gives me the Narative focus with plenty of customization and adaptiblity. I havent been doing too much with it yet, but i really like it already from readying and listening a bit to plays.
Setting: This is where it gets mythical. So imagine a world just like ours. Actually exactly our world. A few years in the future some archelogists and divers find Pandoras Box hidden on a greek island in an underwater cave with plenty of warning. and even logbook with it. Its Odyseus's logbook, in which he mentioned he trapped all the gods and magic in that box with the help of Circe and a few of the other more benevolent gods. Thus started the golden age of humanity where they didnt have to worry about annoying a bunch of superpowerful self absorbed mythical assholes on Olympus.
Surprisingly, the archelogists actually listened to Odyseus warning and decided that some mysteries might be better left unsolved. The box was left open to allow the world the speculate. Not long after that, the box was the most important and most talked about object in the world. It even went on a world tour through the biggest museums. That was until it arrived in America. In the years since 2024, interest in Social media and influencers only increased, causing people to do anything for clicks and likes. And one particular idiot went as far as sneaking a gun into a museum to shoot open pandoras box live on Stream.
Not long after that, 90% of the world population died. As the contained magic exploded forth and spread across the world in light speed, it wrecked havoc across the whole world, changing the land, the animals and the people. Monsters reappered, The gods made their anger at their imprisonment clear to anyone they could and the world offically ended on that day.
Now, 40 days in the future, North America is a wasteland generally regarded as inhabitable due to the high concentration of Mana there, which is toxic to Humans. Most people live in Europe, Africa, Asia and australia, or whats left of it anyways. Famine and war are standard. Some people are training to use magic themselves, others devote themselves to hunting the new monsters for their rare parts, others integrate magic into technology for wonderous creations and most just try to survive in small communities. Most people avoid the gods at all cost, some have formed into cults for them while the rare few attempt to rebel (which often ends in gruesome deaths).
Now the players find themselves in a familar yet unknown world, Magic everywhere to be found, Horrible creatures ready to feast on them around each corner, Ruined cities promising loot and danger, Technology growing rapidly thanks to magic and Powerful beings toying with them for their amusement.
Adventure: So I want to sent the players to North america as part of a huge strikeforce to retrieve a part of pandoras box for study to maybe capture the gods again. obviously this will be a huge secret, they will think its to retrieve vital knowledge to fight a spreading plague as will most of the expiditions members to avoid the eyes of the gods. They will be teleported to America through a new device, but will be forced to travel back on their own accord. Which will lead them to a container ship that holds their strikeforce and some survivors they will find to travel back over the ocean. TIME FOR AN ODYSEE. Everything will go wrong on the trip, i wanna challange the players with impossible emotional choices like maybe during a famine on board some passangers will eat the dead. Should they be punished? Or when the ship is hit by a monster, should we seal a part of the ship to prevent more of the ship taking in water, even if most people couldnt evacuate yet.
I want the players to distinguish themselves during their time in NA to allow them to tale the command of the ship, maybe the commander of the expdition is heavily wounded ( dont want to kill them off, because someone gotta reveal they carry a shard of the box with them). That way all of the decision will be upon them.
I want them to also meet poseidon, who will be their main villain. He will attack them multiple times and the only way they will survive is often with big casualties, with help of other gods or magical artifacts. Other gods will be involved too. Maybe someone from the backgrounds of the player gets involved to murder them. And the two gods trying to kill them , with the bickering giving them a way to escape. In the end they can either kill a god using the piece of the box, or bring the piece home for future use. Will they be able to protect themselves and their people from poseidon, or do they have to strike his heart with their piece of pandoras box. When presented with an opportunity to kill another god, the god who hurt the players the most by killing family and friends, will they take this chance or will they be able to control their rage.
I want to leave this very open ended, just with many encounters ready to go if the opportunity present itself.
And i have to say, Epic: the musical was a big part of the inspiration, just want to give credit where its due. Absolutly amazing.
Here id be happy to hear your ideas. Anything is fine, good or bad opinions. Really just collecting thoughts now.
Some other cool things about the world i will include: Shades: when people were hit by the explosion of mana from the opening of the box, most disintegrated instantly. Some left behind a shade made of pure mana. Those shades are like ghosts on autopilot that follow the routine of the person that it once was. They are usually neutral just doing their thing, but if they sense a disturbance to their regular routine, they will react hostile. As incorperal beings they are incredibly difficult to stop unless you possess magic. They will use the mana inside them to overload you and kill you slow and painfully
Mana/magic: so mana is plentiful and everywhere. It can be used to cast spells and empower oneself. How to do this, is a difficult skill the players will learn during their adventure. The only problem is that mana is toxic to humans as our bodies evolved something like mana allergy. Players can cast spells from their internal force as well if they have one (like divine power born with or purified mana they gained through meditation) so caster classes have a few safe options. But in the end, i want players to pursue a game of risk and reward, by drawing on the mana around them, giving them abilities but also causing many negative effects.