Adjectives that start with i

Thanks I Hate It

2018.11.09 15:59 Pfahli Thanks I Hate It

A spider in your bed? A seafood aspic? Third degree burns? Thanks, I Hate It
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2010.02.28 08:02 AgentConundrum I Want To Learn: Connecting people who want to learn with people that can teach

Have you ever wanted to learn a martial art, or to play the guitar, or how to program a computer? Have you had difficulty figuring out where to start, what path to take or just wanted some advice to get you to the next level? Well, that's what /IWantToLearn is all about! Tell our community what you want to learn, and let those who came before you help guide you towards success!
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2008.05.06 22:53 Grammar

A subreddit for questions and discussions about grammar, language, style, conventions[,] and punctuation.
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2024.05.14 06:12 Sad_Grape_7223 Sad my group completely hated an NPC and not sure how to navigate them back to the story

Mostly just need to vent.
So my table has one large mission as the main arc, but currently focused on an integral smaller mission within the larger mission. Main mission cannot be completed without this second one.
My table got a bit derailed tonight when a PC forgot about the mini mission (despite that being the whole previous hour….a bio break and short rest for for the in game characters made them whoosh forget that & they showed up at our next location super aggro and demanding my npc lead them to character needed for the main mission.
I tried to get them back on track, mentioning that that character wasn’t there. Why were they at this building (hint hint) and one poor PC tried to speak up but no one was listening.
I knew my npc had a hook to make him instant friends with a PC, so when they finally asked about a character involved with the mini mission I started my 3 sentence paragraph to give needed information. I wasn’t 6 words into my statement & this PC interrupted me and shoved my npc and yelled at him for being sexist (he was calling the 3rd character a rude teachers pet, which is probably the nicest adjectives you could use for this character) I pivoted and tried to have my npc mention the reason they were there and this 3rd character being involved…nope a 2nd pc PICKS UP MY NPC AND STARTED THREATENING THEM IN THEIR OWN HOME
I had to stop the table and remind them everyone was a good aligned character. They just walked into someone’s home, were welcomed nicely, the npc introduced themselves but they didn’t introduce themselves, they started demanding stuff and the got rightful defensive and now he’s being attacked….well my 2 PCs said I made a very unlikable npc and said they wouldn’t change anything.
Okay. Who am I to show horn them into a path. They then guns blazing go into the room with the actual bad guy…no planning or plan…per my module she’s to instantly cast fireball. I stopped the session before she cast anything. I ran the damage and the two PCs closest if they didn’t pass their saving throw would be on death saves…..I don’t want to do that, but I am mad they are being so aggressive.
This is only session 2 and they weren’t this aggressive the first session. Our previous campaign I wasn’t the DM and this group was really murder hobo-y but everyone was on board (it was Shrahd) and the setting more lent itself to that. But even then our DM then would complain we didn’t ask questions or talk to NPCs or try anything other than hit first and go oops we needed that person later.
Frustratingly the main aggro PC is our former DM.
I have talked to him already. He apologized. And promised to let me finish speaking when characters are talking. Especially when it’s obvious I’m reading something prepared (probably important if I wrote it down)…but his advice was to have us “reset” back to when they came inside, but I don’t want to do that.
As sorta frustrated as I am, that’s part of dnd. Having your characters go their path. I’m just not sure how to get them back on track. I want to punish them for going so fast into this, but I know if attack them with this 3rd character then they’ll attack back and probably not hold back and leave the campaign if their character died start of session 3. (I’ve invested $300 into this module and really want to see atleast some of it through) I did metagame warn them that they’re level 3 and they need to start thinking about that before they go attacking everyone they meet. (The npc they shoved and nearly fought was a level 13 wizard…they weren’t going to win that fight).
Guess I’m also frustrated that I’m the only female in the group and they attributed alot of negative female connotations to the one sentence my npc said (called him catty, b**chy, rude, annoying, petty) when they knew the person they were meeting was a part of a known evil organization. But no how dare my nice, welcoming npc not like the evil organization character….when I asked that in the session debrief I was told it was “how I presented him” with my one sentence…I think next time I would stop them and say “let me finish what he was saying before you take that action” but I’m not sure that would have changed anything.
Just sad that I don’t think this group is the right group for this campaign and I’m so invested in the story.
submitted by Sad_Grape_7223 to DungeonMasters [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 02:26 gloomswarm Looking at Fernando Tatis Jr.'s dislocated shoulder injury and surgery timeline vs. Jung Hoo Lee at this point

Original content and also I am not a doctor so take this with a humongous grain of garlic on top of Aramark garlic fries.
Fernando Tatis Jr. suffered a left shoulder subluxation in April 2021. In layman's terms, that's a partial dislocation of the shoulder joint.
He went on to dislocate it three more times that season.
He would usually do it with one-handed follow throughs on swings. With this being JHL's left arm and being a leftie batter, I don't think that same phenomenon would be an issue. It's probably a matter of it during his violent swings in general.
In October 2021 he actually opted against surgery because he wanted to play and not miss extended time. However when he got suspended 80 games for a banned substance, he changed his tune and decided to get the surgery.
"How I was feeling a little bit, coming back, I wasn't the best version out there,” Tatis said at the time. “A couple games, it got in the way. I was thinking and not diving headfirst, not doing my stereotypical movement. I feel like when I come back and start everything all over, I need to be 100% so I can do what I know how to do."
His questionable use of adjectives aside, it seemed like he wasn't 100% comfortable. Interestingly enough, Bob Melvin was his manager at the time, and he had this to say:
"From my understanding, I think everybody was hoping at some point in time he'd have it done. So he is. I think, as far as the medical staff goes, and even now himself, I think he realizes, 'Let's get this stuff cleaned up before I come back and play.'"
Now, what does this mean for Jung Hoo Lee?
First of all, this is entirely spectulation from a similar injury for a completely different person and player, and secondly, we should wait for the MRI results.
But simply to speculate, if the MRI is somewhat clean, it isn't out of the question--as evidenced by Tatis's case--that Jung Hoo Lee plays again this season.
Will he be uncomfortable, if we consider Tatis Jr.'s experience? Possible. Would he eventually need surgery anyways? Also possible.
All in all, I found this interesting and somewhat a glimmer of hope.
Most notably to me, Tatis looks really good after he came back. I'm not as concerned for JHL's career beyond this season especially given that he's a very young 25.
Don't get me wrong--this is still very disheartening, but there is recent MLB precedent that all hope isn't lost.
But again, we probably should let the doctors do the talking tomorrow.
submitted by gloomswarm to SFGiants [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 01:24 HuffPuff87 Frustrated, out of options and can't see a specialist for 2 months.

Apologies for the long post but I'm pretty much over medical personnel at the moment and I'm frustrated. I've had a severe cough that began in December. I've had it at least once a month since then. By severe I mean I have random coughing fits that result in me either urinating on myself or vomiting on myself. Lately it's been both. Seems to be brought on by the slightest cold. I have a daughter in daycare so while illness is not uncommon, this is a bit extreme. It's normally coupled with a sinus infection.
I went to urgent care in December and was told to ride it out and given an updated inhaler script. I eventually got better.
It came back in February and to urgent care I went again. My primary has retired and I didn't have another lined up so Urgent Care seemed an ok choic. Left with a script for promethazine. Nearly finished the bottle before I got better.
It came back in March to which I called my doctor's office and got the first available doctor for a consult since I knew urgent care wasn't gonna do anything for me. We spoke over the phone and he said I likey had pertussis so he prescribed a steroid and antibiotic. Worked within a day. I was much better instantly so I finished the round and figured we were good to go.
April was a let down as the cough returned. I quickly emailed the doctor and requested the same treatment. I had refills for the steroid so I just refilled but I needed him to prescribe the antibiotic. He refused. He said he can't prescribe it when the symptoms haven't been present that long. Uhm, what do you mean?! You knew my history already? He repeatedly told me there was nothing we could do, that I could try the steroid alone but it probably wouldn't do anything. I told him I refused to believe that there was nothing we could do and there had to be something, especially considering the antibiotic worked so quickly last time. He REFUSED to assist further and suggested if my symptoms were that bad to go to the ER for a chest X-ray. Fine.
Went to the ER and got a chest X-ray. Was there for literally 1.5 hours and walked away with a $2500 bill, a clear X-ray and a script for Tessalon Perles, a recommendation for Mucinex D, and oh look, the SAME ANTIBIOTICS I ASKED THE PRIMARY FOR, WHO SAID HE COULDN'T GIVE THEM TO ME. They knew my script history and had zero problem giving me the antibiotic. The ER doctor even laughed when I told him the primary said I had pertussis. His diagnosis- bronchitis. Told me to follow up with said doctor. No thank you.
The cocktail of antibiotics, Mucinex D and Tessalon Perles seemed to do the trick. For a while.
It's now May and the cough is back full force and more violent than ever. But instead of multiple coughing fits throughout the day, I get a few really violent ones with both vomiting and peeing. So I got that going for me, which is nice.
I called a pulmonologist today to get an appointment. I figured I'd start there. When the medical assistant asked me why I'm seeing the doctor, I ran down a TLDR of the above and was so very delighted to hear her response of, “So a cough?” Yeah girl. Put down a cough. I corrected her- “A severe cough.” I doubt she added the adjective. The next available isn't for 2 months.
So here I sit, being asked to ride it out and ingesting a cocktail of Mucinex D and ibuprofen with a little snack of Tessalon Perles during bed time. I'm almost positive this is gonna cause some long term repercussions but I have a 1 year old, a husband and a job to think of today. I'm still blown away that when I brought this up to the primary, that he's telling me there nothing he can do when I'm telling him I get random coughing fits in the car while driving my toddler around, I get a “Sorry. Try the ER.”
As you can probably tell, I'm at a loss on what to do. When I think my cocktail is working, I'm reminded it's not. Any suggestions other than, see a pulmonologist, would be greatly appreciated. Any reassurance that the primary isn't a complete moron, also appreciated. I would hate to think that a doctor would be that careless for no reason.
TLDR: Intermittent (monthly) sever cough since December, accompanied by sinusitis, vomiting and incontinence. Antibiotics helps but Dr. won't prescribe more than one round. Currently taking Mucinex D, 400 ibuprofen and Tessalon Perles at night for sleep. Appt with pulmonologist in 2 months but what to do until then?
Thanks for reading.
submitted by HuffPuff87 to Pulmonology [link] [comments]


2024.05.13 21:19 ahawk_one Paradrome Cube

I was reading the lore pages of older seasonal artifacts for fun, and the Seasonal Artifact from Season of the Splicer had an interesting segment that I hadn't noticed before. But before we get to that, a quick note about the word Paradrome. My google searches only came up with the Oxford English Dictionary website. It is the only one that claimed to have a definition, which is unfortunately blocked by a subscription wall.
However, if we look up the root words Para and Drom separately, we get a good image of what it means.
Para, for those that don't know, is a prefix that indicates being close to or next to something else.
Drom, is probably a little less familiar but it comes from the Greek Dromos, which is a word for avenue or walkway, or entrance, or other related concepts.
Paradromic, is an adjective that means running side by side or in paralel. The impression I get is that it would be more likely to refer to two roads or entryways, rather than two people running in parallel, but I suppose either is probably a correct usage.
So the Paradrome Cube then is going to have something to do with things operating or running in parallel. While I think there are multiple layers, an obvious one that you will see below is that when looking at this thing, Mithrax sees two visions. The artistic implication being they visions are parallel to eachother.
On to the lore! The text on the cube is as follows:
PARADROME CUBE - SEASONAL ARTIFACT FOR SEASON 14, SEASON OF THE SPLICER
A CUBE OF LIVING CODE CLAIMED FROM THE VEX DOMAIN.
Mithrax sat on a carpet in his meager quarters, held the Paradrome Cube in his hand, and concentrated.
Hours passed before Eido, concerned, sat beside him. She touched his arm.
"What do you see?" she whispered.
He saw the Endless Night split open. He saw fluid falling like white rain on the City. Massive Minotaurs rising from the shallow seas. He saw the gunfire of the Guardians in the Tower, but it did not reflect on the rippling liquid, and he dismissed the vision.
A hundred more illusions took its place, then a thousand, then a thousand lifetimes' worth:
-a shape frozen inside a crystal prison a towering figure in white recognition flooding bloodshot eyes a city of voices speaking at once shadow taking form the realization they had always been watched tears on metal-
A choice, and its consequences.
"Lies," he answered plainly.
There is a lot of symbolism here, but the thing that I wanted to bring to our attention is the phrase "a towering figure in white". Season of the Splicer is the midpoint in the year following Beyond Light. WQ hasn't released yet, so no one has even imagined the Witness as an antagonist yet, and when we first get this artifact no one will have guessed that Savathun is posing as Osiris. Yet here we have a direct foreshadowing of the Witness coming, and of the Vex's knowledge of it, as this cube came out of their general network. And crucially this is NOT the Sol Divisive. This is something he pulled out of their network that we use to splice into it later as we hunt for Vex Minds and ultimately for Queria.
For fun, here is a short list of possible literal definitions. But there may be symbolic or figurative definitions as well:
First Vision - Seems to mostly be an account of the Vex plan to assault the City with overwhelming force.
Second Vision -
A shape frozen inside a crystal prison - The most obvious option is Eramis being frozen back on Europa, but I think this is more likely a way that this cube of Vex is conceptualizing the Witness's "final shape" because...
A towering figure in white - clearly fits the description of the Witness. It is a towering figure, and it is pasty
Recognition flooding bloodshot eyes - I'm less sure of this, but I do know that Vex eyes are red, and that The Gate Lord's Eye seasonal artifact references bleeding as part of it's internal structure. So my thought here is that this is the Vex recognizing the Witness in some capacity.
A city of voices speaking at once - Witness's plurality of form. It is a multitude of beings crammed together into a single body. A multitude of voices speaking as one, with one voice.
Shadow taking form - I think this is probably referring to the Witness's plans starting to move again. Things are in motion, and the Pyramids are here, and the Witness is coming for the Traveler.
The realization they had always been watched - The Witness has been watching us, watching the Vex, watching everything. Witnessing the universe.
Tears on metal - I don't know if this is tears as in crying tears, or if this is tears as in tearing fabric. And either way, I don't know what this is referencing.
So to me, this "vision" he sees is a version of what the Vex in this cube think will happen. What is going to happen in the future. And it is a direct foreshadowing of the Witness itself as a villain, as well as it's ultimate plans for the universe. Later, during the Vow of the Disciple Raid, Guardians will discover a prophecy wall inside Rhulk's Pyramid that describes everything the Witness does in Lightfall perfectly.
Just a nice piece of continuity I noticed. Thanks for reading!
submitted by ahawk_one to DestinyLore [link] [comments]


2024.05.13 16:31 Dizzy-Mongoose-112 Help for a beginner

Hi! I’m hoping to travel to the Netherlands in the next year or two, so I’m trying to learn Dutch. I started Duolingo and it was helpful for learning basic vocabulary (animals, food, adjectives, common verbs, etc), but as it’s getting more advanced with grammar, it’s not as useful anymore. Does anyone know any good resources to start with? Also, if anyone has any tips that were helpful for you with learning, please feel free to share!
submitted by Dizzy-Mongoose-112 to learndutch [link] [comments]


2024.05.13 06:09 OodlesPoodlesDoodles Any parents/professionals caring for young kids who have anxiety here? (Looking for advice)

If you personally struggle with anxieties about helping others with anxiety or who present in similar ways, please stop reading now and move on. There's nothing graphic, no abuse (other than maybe abuse to me, but that's not the topic at hand)... I'm just trying to help save someone from an unnecessary anxiety spike if I can both currently and down the road.
So the child in question is not mine and generally I don't get involved in stuff like this for fear of doing something wrong (whether perceived or actual mistake), but I felt compelled to try to help a kid today when their parents weren't near and I'm all but certain they had no line of sight to the kid and wouldn't for an (admittedly short-ish) length of time, and got my head bit off later without the opportunity to talk to them about what I witnessed and how I tried to help.
To be honest, I am tempted to just avoid having anything to with kids outside my immediate family (and eventual grandkids) going forward, as that would be the most simple. Frankly, I'm not sure I'll be in an ok head space to ever help anyone again other than adults in situations where they are legally competent and able to communicate in full, though I know I'll feel terrible if another opportunity to help comes up and I don't help... Yes, I suffer from anxiety. But I'll try to keep all that out of this from this point forward. Sorry about the length so far.
So the kid in question is younger than school age. I'm not sure of the background of the child in full, but in the current home of residence, I believe there are no concerns, though I wouldn't have pegged the father to be one to react to a situation as poorly as happened today, so I guess I can't be 100% sure. I'm pretty darn sure they're safe though.
So there were a few kids sitting near each other in a situation where there were plenty of adult eyes nearby when this started, in a social environment which I would generally say is very supportive of one another and family-forward, including children being loved/cared for by various adults. What caught my notice was initially presenting in such a way that a quick glance seemed as though it was a reasonably harmless "sibling bugging" sort of behavior. Not something I'd get involved with. Over the next shortish time, the behavior caught my attention again though (the 3rd kid in the group was now involved), and I noticed that it really seemed different (the behaviors which were before with the interactions with the other kid from before seemed to have a ...not frantic per se, but that's the best adjective I can think of -- like there was some kind of strong need?). I will note that at this point, the interactions were not different to the point where "any adult" would notice/intervene, but I felt increasingly uneasy ignoring it and felt that it would only continue to escalate at some unknown rate. The best way to describe it was that it seemed like the child needed physical reassurance/grounding through touch. In short, my anxiety empathy and mom senses were tingling (screaming), is probably the best way to put it.
Finally I made my (stupid) move. To the best of my knowledge, I was the most experienced with anxiety stuff in the vicinity and it would still be a bit before the parents were back together with the kid and figured heading off "bad things" potential (such as a full anxiety/panic attack) was worth it. I knelt by the child and offered to hold the child's hands, and though tentative, the child accepted this gesture. Not sure if it made a difference, but I also made a conscious effort to project my intent of positive support in the best way possible by hyperfocusing on my facial expression and tone of voice. Whatever it was, the effect was pretty well instantaneous, as the anxious edge which had presented before was not there at all so far as I could tell.
After the few seconds that took I asked if the child was ok and if the child felt it would be possible to be able to keep hands to self for the short while it would be before the family was reunited, which seemed to get a shy, but affirmative response, so I moved on from there for the time being (it was not an overall social situation appropriate to discussing what happened in the immediate time following, especially as it wasn't a full-out emergency -- the right time for it would have presented in probably about 2 hours after the event). Overall, at that point, I was feeling really good about having been able to help someone seemingly completely successfully. Especially a dear little one.
Well, long before the two hours had passed to provide a chance to inform the parents and have a good conversation, the father found me somewhat separate of others at one moment and took that opportunity to aggressively (stance/tone/word choice/similar cues, not assault/battery) get after me for disciplining their child. I was confused and attempted to start to talk to him about the situation, but got (again aggressively) cut off at about a few words to where I realized there would be no means of civil discussion, and with my anxiety going from moderate (I had something completely unrelated I was dealing with at that point) to just sort of panic attack, I went into doormat mode to end the confrontation and masked to the best of my ability until I could get elsewhere for the nuclear fallout. Hopefully I'll be able to go to the location and/or social opportunity again in the future, though I could be completely fine never interacting with the father ever again in my life...
Anyway, back to topic (sorry)... So, thinking on it extensively has lead me to believe that maybe the father spoke to one of the kids that were by the child, and perhaps they relayed the last words of my verbal check-in. I can and will learn from that and stick to "Are you ok" in the future, if such an unlikely future were to present. And maybe my offer to hold hands quick to ground (and related follow-through) was misinterpreted as I couldn't present the context for this as well? I have no idea if the child is being treated formally or even diagnosed or observed formally for anxiety. Overall (exempting this episode), the child has presented "like a normal child" as far as I've seen in the past (though, to be fair, I haven't directly interacted with or observed the child to any material extent before this episode), so I'd guess it's maybe an occasional thing?
If I can get past my own anxieties to where I feel I can help others again, where do I begin with very young ones? Others? What would you have done (did I act too soon)? Said? Or what would you have wished for if you were one of the parents who were temporarily absent during this time?
If you have (constructive) thoughts to share or clarifying questions, please comment. I truly, deeply appreciate any help or insights you can provide.
submitted by OodlesPoodlesDoodles to Anxiety [link] [comments]


2024.05.13 06:03 purrlinda Michael and Angela in the Still to Come section

Was anyone else surprised to see them? I had thought, based on what I have read here, and also from the fact that they haven't shown them yet, that they wouldn't be shown.
I have felt somewhat cheated with not seeing them. Not because I want to see Angela. There are not enough adjectives in the history of language to describe how much she disgusts me... But I sort of want to see Michael finally make it here after all the shit he went through.
I know that his tenure here has been scary for him, to start. I hope wherever he is, he is ok.
submitted by purrlinda to 90DayFiance [link] [comments]


2024.05.13 02:48 Beginning_Mood_9803 I’ve waited decades for HRT and it’s very surreal it is starting in a week

(*I did my makeup here but used FaceApp for the skin and hair!)
I was raised conservative and Christian. I even went to a private Christian high school. I had written a very dark poem that I don’t even remember what it said…but I do remember how I accidentally left it in class and someone anonymously turned it in which triggered a meeting w me, my parents and the principle. My dad was so upset that my mom was so sad that I learned early on to “keep up appearances”.
Some of the usual suspects: Sneaking into moms shoes at a young age, when older I was sneaking into my sisters wardrobes. When one got married, I hated what I was wearing and was so envious of her wedding dress. I played video games as female characters (and still do even at 53 now). I was jealous of the cheerleaders in high school, as an adult I almost always went as a female character for Halloween like Elsa from frozen, Supergirl or Alice in Wonderland…the list goes on.
It was probably that last costume listed that I started thinking it was more than just cross dressing. I remember coming home from that and crying (again, adult) as I didn’t want to take that look off my face. I didn’t know it at the time but that was gender dysphoria.
I rarely dated as although I liked women and still do, there was something different in how I’d relate with them. I pushed things down, binged and purged clothes and makeup more than I can remember. Eventually about 20 yrs ago I started almost exclusively going out with women who were trans. I know there are a lot of creepy chasers out there but in my case, looking at all the signs over the years, I was clearly trying to see THEIR life, and sadly kind of live my life vicariously through them I guess. I even ended up marrying a woman that is trans and still am after five years. She knew about my background beforehand but I was still trying to convince myself and her that it was just sporadic cross dressing.
At my work, I am allowed to wear nail polish and at first I felt paranoid about this and only did a few days a week and by now it’s pretty much 24/7 where I often forget I’m even wearing it. My dysphoria starting shooting up drastically then and I suddenly started really (allowing?) getting jealous of women’s clothes and body shapes. I’d feel awful about it but it was and is relentless. Around this time my wife was getting breast implants and I found myself happy for her but almost immediately I got extremely envious. Once again the person I married was essentially living the life I wish I started DECADES ago and I hadn’t even started HRT. I wouldn’t allow myself to even consider it.
Well there was an unrelated crisis months ago where we both went into individual therapy. And one thing, the main thing, that came out of mine is that to no surprise at all getting diagnosed with gender dysphoria.
I have an appointment that was made MONTHS ago (Florida, enough said) and it’s finally a week away as of tomorrow. To say that I am excited, scared, worried and so many other adjectives is a huge understatement. I’m not going to chicken out but man my wife and I will likely be getting divorced (still be friends) and my family still doesn’t even know as they will likely be blindsighted. I predict my mom will cry and my older sister will get mad but maybe I’m wrong. My brother cut me off five years ago when he found out I was marrying someone trans. The one person in my family who DOES know this about me is my younger sister who I’m closest to. Fortunately she and I are the same politically and culturally.
Have any of you that are on HRT actually waited a certain number of months (or even a year or more?) to tell family so that you could tell how it was making you feel mentally while on it so you could know 100% you weren’t one of the rare people that STOPS taking HRT? I just don’t know when and how to break something so life changing to them. And they are in California so I can’t exactly have a face to face meeting unfortunately. Did any of you get on a video call and tell your mom or dad? My younger sister has agreed to support me in this way if I do it when she is available to be at my moms for a call. Originally I was going to call May 1. Then I thought day of the first injection on May 20…but again now I’m wondering if I should wait at least two or three months to see how I’m feeling and looking. But I’m also afraid if I wait too long that they will next see me and I will look androgynous or something. I don’t usually see them more than once every 2-3 years and I will likely look VERY different by then.
Thank you for those that made it to the end of this, I’m sorry it was so long. I’m very excited but very stressed about all the likely fallout from this too. I can only hope that because I had married someone who is trans that they don’t think she suddenly made me this way but instead that maybe it will soften the shock with it being closer in the family than a transgender daughter in law or sister in law when they essentially always had another daughtesister in our family.
submitted by Beginning_Mood_9803 to TransLater [link] [comments]


2024.05.12 20:34 NewTwo8931 Someone i know started to use masculine adjectives for me without me asking to and I'm happy that happened but also confused ??

So, I'm not really out. I've told to a few of my friends that I don't mind which pronon they use for me, I'm just like "whatever", so they just always use feminine adjectives and pronouns for me. I can't say in really comfortable with that, but I also don't want to go through the process of explaining to every person I talk to that I'm nb, and I would prefer gender neutral/masculine pronoms and adjectives, and I dont want to deal with the potential bullshit they would give me if they're bigots, you know.
Anyway, I just let people use feminine pronouns and adjectives. I'm not out to most people and I look kind of androgynous I guess. Some people think I'm a boy when they see me sometimes but they then hear my voice and they're like "omg, sorry, I thought you were a boy" and I'm like "yeah, whatever I don't actually care".
But a few days ago, one my friend started using masculine adjectives and words with me, without me ever asking him to, and it made me really happy. But I'm also really confused about how he knew I needed that ?? He's trans ftm, so maybe he was able to read me because he has similar experience ? Or maybe he caught onto the fact that I always avoid gendered words when talking about myself ? (I speak French btw, and everything in French is gendered, its so freaking annoying to navigate my nb life when every pronouns and every adjectives needs to be gendered either masculine of feminine. That's why I always twist my sentences in some ways that avoid using any of those words)
So yeah, I don't know why they started using masculine adjectives for me, but it made me happy.
submitted by NewTwo8931 to NonBinary [link] [comments]


2024.05.12 19:00 Ok-Vacation5730 Creative upscaling all the way to 16K (and beyond) with WebUI Forge, a comprehensive how-to guide

Creative upscaling all the way to 16K (and beyond) with WebUI Forge, a comprehensive how-to guide
WebUI Forge is a popular alternative (‘fork’) to the classical Automatic1111 platform. In this guide, I describe a complete routine for super high-resolution upscaling of AI-generated images with incremental adding of detail into their content, using any of the two features of Forge, SD Upscale and MultiDiffusion integrated.
Due to reddit limitations, the included 16:9 demo image of a fantasy landscape is a scaled down to 8K version of the full-size upscaled image produced with this routine from an original 2K picture generated with Leonardo.ai. Here’s the link to the full-size 15360x8640 image (a 58 MB file).
A lighter image of 16 MB size (87% jpeg compression) is available here.
The source 2k image is included second in this posting.
The folder with the complete selection of demo images from the project prepared for this post is available here.
Routine prerequisites: Forge webUI running locally on a PC equipped with a capable GPU (RTX 4070 Ti Super with 16 GB, in my setup), or on a leased one in the cloud (RunDiffusiion, salad, runpod.io, vast.ai, sailflow.ai and the like). The author used the WebUI Forge version available within the StabilityMatrix package.
The approach
In the image upscaling business, the temptation is to upscale the image to the target resolution in one go, if possible: if the tool supports a 4x upscale, sure, let’s use that! 8x, even better! It is however a very flawed approach, all you will get is a ruined image (or at best something far from what you wanted the result to be), and running times much longer than they should be. With this routine, I promote an incremental approach, where you increase the resolution 2 times at most with each upscale step, keeping the runtimes short to allow for more creative experimenting. The underlying idea is that you want to be in charge of the process and not rely on the magic of the AI too much, or on some dense, rigid workflow. For that reason, I am much against upscaling in batches or in whichever automatic fashion. Each image is unique and requires an individual approach; and especially so, for anything to be called a work of art.
The steps in detail
Each step in this routine is done in 2-3 substeps.
Substep 1: pre-upscaling of the image. During AI-assisted upscaling with SD Upscale (SDU) or MultiDiffusion integrated (MD), the actual resizing of the image is always done by an upscaler model, not by an internal routine of the extension or the script (I will call them ‘methods’ from here on). Typically, the user simply chooses the Scale By factor, selects one of the available in the UI models, like UltraSharp, foolhardy_Remacri etc, sets all the other relevant upscaling parameters and clicks on Generate. In contrast, in this routine the ‘raw’ upscale operation is necessarily a separate substep; it’s done explicitly in Forge’s Extras, or using a standalone upscaler such as the highly recommended freeware upscayl, before proceeding to generate. This allows you to exercise a fuller control over the overall look of the eventual upscaled output, the grain or the texture, and also to prevent an unsolicited color shift. If you don’t separate this part, it will be impossible for you to determine in what degree the upscaler model influenced the eventual output. Forge comes with plenty of top-class models already built in, and you can always look for a specialized one fine tuned for the type of images you need to have upscaled (here’s the site that hosts practically every sort). For more details on the subject, see this recent discussion.
This approach of separation not only gives you more control of the output, but also significantly saves on the total computing time: once you have a raw-upscaled image with qualities closest to the way you want the upscaled image to look ultimately, the pre-upscaling operation won’t have to be performed at the beginning of every subsequent run of the method (and chances are that you are going to do a lot of trial runs at each upscaling step). Conversely, if the pre-upscaled image has a texture with a particular strong (synthetic) grain, or any artifacts of its own (which does happen occasionally), it might be difficult to alter that look within the adding detail run (substep 2), so choose wisely! (FWIW, the models used for upscaling the demo image for this routine were 4xLSDIRplusC, HAT-L_SRx4_ImageNet-pretrain and 4xHFA2k, they seemed to be suited better for the type of synthetic landscape photos used in this project than the others I tried; but that’s only my personal preference. In contrast, 4x_NMKD-Siax_200K proved unsuitable for this project, as this model tends to add too much noise in the upscaled output, making it appear unnaturally sharp.)
Note: the pre-upscaling factor of 2x at each step is only a default, for an even finer control, you might want to reduce it to 1.5 or even lower.
Timing. Pre-upscaling is usually done very quickly, it takes about 20-30 seconds for an average model to 2x upscale a 4K image on my RTX 4070 Ti Super. 2x upscaling of an 8K image might take from 1.5 or 2 minutes (4xHFA2k) to anything between 4 and 12 minutes using a slower model like SwinIR or HAT-L_SRx4.
Substep 2: adding detail to the pre-upscaled image with the chosen SD method and checkpoint. At this step, you use the pre-upscaled image as the source in the chosen Forge img2img method and run the process with the scale factor of 1. Depending on the Denoising strength parameter, the checkpoint used, the prompt etc, this generation substep will add a variable amount of detail into the rendered image (see more on the ways to control the amount and contents in ‘Forge webUI parameters’ below). For the demo image used in this guide, the details added have been of this variety: birds flying in the sky, features of the spire-shaped towers on the left and on the right, waterfall shapes, houses, flower petals, figures of people at a distance, sometimes a bicycle or a horse, and even a tiny village on the cliff that was formed during subsequent upscale steps. By experimenting on each step, you arrive at a rendering that contains newly added detail in the quantity and appearance which is most appealing to you. Once gotten that, you use the rendered image as the source for the next upscale step. Amazingly, as I witnessed more than once in my project, and as opposed to a more traditional img2img process, such an iterative process wherein an image is generated and then used as the upscale source again and again, will not cause any degradation of the subsequent output (when generated with the right set of parameters of course). The detail added on a detail-enriching step will usually be kept and further developed at the next one, given a carefully tuned set of parameters, and the sharpness will be retained without any visible softening of the texture.
Keep in mind though that processing time increases with each upscale step and the increased resolution, so it makes sense to do the most of the creative experimenting in the middle of the routine, at the level of 4K and 8K. Generating at the last 16K level should be done just to keep the detail already introduced, not to add any substantially new one (unless you have a super-fast GPU, of course).
Timing. Forge runs very, very fast when img2img-processing, with either of 1.5 or SDXL versions of checkpoints, processing a 4k image in about 1 minute, for either method. It takes between 2 and 3 minutes to process a 8K image, and between 8 and 18 minutes for a 16K image, with all the right parameters set. (Automatic, in comparison, takes anything from 1 to 3 hours to do the same with a SD 1.5 checkpoint, and the quality of the output is much harder to maintain.)
Substep 3 (optional): refining and fixing artifacts. You should be mindful of possible artifacts (small defects and off-color patterns), and particularly of visible tiles and seams that tend to appear in the generated image when you fail to moderate the process by means of lowering the denoise parameter and/or using the ControlNet Tile mode (more on this in the next part). Probability of the tiles becoming visible is also dependent on the image contents: images with a light blue sky or a smooth gradient of any kind are particularly vulnerable, as demonstrated by the example images in the demo folder. I learned the hard way that, except in a few cases, it’s practically impossible to get rid of the seams by any post-processing. Generally, you will have to discard an image with tiles and seams too prominent. Speaking of visible tiles and seams, I noticed that the MD method is more prone to that issue than the SDU one, while not being any faster in processing, so I recommend using the latter for most use cases.
That said, the artifacts such as visible tiles and seams, as well as minor blemishes, can be made less pronounced (if not completely removed) by running the substep 2 again with the just-rendered image as the input one, with a different checkpoint, the Denoising strength or CFG parameter adjusted. This substep is only needed if the upscale step is the last one in the sequence; otherwise, the substep 2 on the next level will most likely do this job. Also to consider: activating the Refiner option at the above substep, to be used with a secondary checkpoint (see below).
Check out the demo folder for the most striking examples of tiles, seams and other artifacts.
Forge webUI parameters
Stable Diffusion checkpoint
The choice of checkpoint is a major factor influencing the detail that will be added to the image during the generation process. Different checkpoints react differently to the input material, some hallucinate more readily with the same source than the others. The checkpoints used to produce the demo image in this guide were: albedobaseXL_v21, juggernautXL_v9Rundiffusionphoto2, sleipnirSDXLTurbo_v125, leosamsHelloworldXL50GPT4V, for the SDXL version, and juggernaut_reborn, photon_v1 and absolutereality_v181, for the v1.5 one. Since upscaling, as described in this guide, is a multi-pass process in which the checkpoint is freely changed at each step, all of them contributed to the final result to varying degrees.
Check out the demo folder for the most striking examples of hallucinations I encountered during this project.
LoRa
Specialized LoRas can also be used to influence the type and the amount of the detail added to the image, or the style it is rendered in (this is most likely how Magnific, Leonardo U-Upscaler and others of the kind support various styles available in their UI.) No LoRas have been used in this project, however.

Prompt
Compared to other SD-based solutions, the prompt plays a much lesser role in this routine. In fact, you can use the same prompt for each upscaling project, something like “masterpiece, best quality, highres”, and that will do it. As a rule, no specific terms or object names should be used in the prompt. The reason for that is that the large-size upscaling is always a tile-based process, wherein each tile is generated independently of others, so, if your prompt includes some specific object you want to have generated in the output, there is a high chance that that object will appear everywhere in the picture, or at least at every spot where the checkpoint ‘thinks’ it is appropriate. This holds especially for the MD-based upscaling with 1.5 checkpoints. For SDU under Forge using SDXL ones, it is less extreme, but I would still recommend avoiding specifics in the prompt. In this project, I went no further with the prompt than using “majestic fantasy vista, cinematic, high contrast, highly detailed”. Just inserting “mountainous” adjective before “vista” would cause mountains rendered in the dark parts of the sky and other strange features appearing in the picture, without much added realism.
In any event, due to the nature of the Stable Diffusion process, it is not possible to control what exactly the checkpoint will inject, and where, even with the best crafted prompt. You can, however, try restricting it from injecting something you don’t want it to, by including various synonymous terms in the negative prompt.
Sampling method (‘sampler’)
In this project, I consistently used two classical samplers, DPM++ 2M Karras, and, a bit less often, DPM++ 3M SDE Exponential, they seemed to be the fastest of the bunch and delivered desired quality with a relatively low step count of 20-22. Some other samplers, like Euler and HEUN, proved to be too eager to hallucinate bizarre detail into the image (with the same step count), so I avoided them; some others produced completely damaged output or were unacceptably slow.
Sampling steps
With a sampler chosen as above, the step count of 20-22 was sufficient most of the times for a good output quality. Occasionally, I would raise the count to 25 or 30, or even 50, but could never notice much difference in the output. Increasing the step count does make the generation take longer though, in almost linear fashion.

CFG Scale
The CFG parameter has a major influence on the output, augmenting the hallucination as you raise it. With that, however, also rises the chance of tiles and seams and other artifacts appearing, so it’s a good idea to be conservative with this value. As a rule, I would use a CFG no higher than 8 for a regular detail-adding generation, and restrict the value to 5 at the last (16K) step, to avoid undesired detail injection, while keeping the overall sharpness level. With the MD method and 1.5 checkpoints specifically, raising this value to extreme levels such as 13-15 and setting tile dimensions just above 100 pixels will cause a profuse injection of the sharpest detail possible into the output, which can often produce a stunning effect, but is generally hard to control (not to mention additional artifacts).
Denoising strength
The denoise parameter which is at the heart of this ‘creative’, img2img-based upscaling routine is the single most influential factor; you should use it within a pretty narrow range. The CFG, the sampler, the step count, the checkpoint and of course the prompt all play their role in the process, but the denoise value leads the way. Experimenting with it, you nudge the img2img generation to add a desired (relatively small) amount of detail, and no more. If you don’t restrict the value of this parameter, your image will contain a wild (‘insane’) amount of detail, particularly when upscaling with the MD method, which tends to insert in the image, depending on the checkpoint, all kinds of stuff (NSFW one including) at any spot imaginable. That is often accompanied by tiles appearing in the output image and other artifacts - which means, again, wasted time and effort. But visually, it can be great fun of course.
Recommended values (based on this project): between 0.28 (basic detail level, low hallucination) and 0.38 (new detail is prominent, checkpoint-dependent hallucinations across the image). The lowest level of 0.28-0.30, or lower, is recommended to use at the last, 16K step. See also ControlNet integrated below on how to dampen the effect of the denoise parameter and keep the output faithful to the original image.
Resize to, Width and Height / Resize by, Scale
This must be the most mystifying part of the entire Automatic/Forge interface. After all this time, I am still figuring out, shall we say, the subtleties of its logic.
The sliders labeled ‘Width’ and ‘Height’ play a different role under img2img-based upscaling than in a regular image generation. When upscaling with Forge’s SDU, with these sliders you don’t set the resolution you want the image to be upscaled to (it won’t allow values higher than 2048 anyway), but rather the tile dimensions used for upscaling/refining, see Tile configuration below. When running SDU script under Forge, make sure that the Resize to (NOT Resize by) dialog box is in foreground before clicking on Generate, or else it will take very long to process the image at 8K, and forever, at 16K. The image’s target dimensions are defined in SDU via its internal Scale Factor parameter.
In contrast, when upscaling with Forge’s MD, before clicking on Generate you need to ensure that the Resize by dialog box is in foreground, with the Scale factor set properly, or else it will just generate an image of whatever dimensions set by the sliders in Resize To, but luckily, in just a few seconds. For the purposes of this routine, the Scale can be set to 1.
And that is the simplest part of the puzzle, all kinds of things can go wrong if you set something in the UI that Forge developers didn’t really anticipate. To avoid excessively long runtimes and other pitfalls, follow the guidelines below when upscaling.
Tile configuration
Image tiles are the core part of the design of HR upscaling in Stable Diffusion, I believe it’s the only effective means to process large size images without running out of GPU memory (VRAM) very quickly.
In SDU, you set tile dimensions, as suggested above, in the Resize To dialog box. For SDXL checkpoints, I used the 1024x1024 dimensions, as well as 768x768 (the tiles don’t have to be aspect ratio-shaped), and for 1.5 checkpoints, the standard 512x512 dimensions, or 768x768, which worked equally well.
An important parameter in both methods used in the routine is Tile overlap, it defines the pixel width and height of the overlapping area of adjacent tiles. Making it as large as reasonably possible helps to tame the visibility of tile seams, by the price of slower computation. In my experience, an overlap of size 64 pixels for SDXL would suffice; smaller sizes could make sense for 1.5 checkpoints and in cases when visibility of tiles is not an issue. In any case, it’s a good idea to use the default value first.

The MD method, which includes its own set of sliders to define the tile configuration, has an additional parameter, Tile Batch Size. It defines how many tiles are held in memory simultaneously and processed in one basic operation; 8 is the maximum using which will supposedly achieve the highest speed of upscaling, lowering it will decrease the amount of VRAM used by this process. In MD under Automatic, setting this parameter lower than the default (to 4, 5 or 6) is an essential means to avoid running out of CUDA memory; in Forge, it’s of a lesser importance, since that system has its own, by all indications much more efficient memory management.
ControlNet integrated
To keep the upscaled/refined output as faithful to the source image as possible, ControlNet Tile resample mode is used. When this mode is activated, the effect of the Denoising strength parameter is dampened, which gives you a higher degree of freedom to play with the parameter without the associated risk of tiles and seams appearing, but at the price of longer (about 10-30%) processing times. In my experience, with the Controlnet Tile resample switched on under SDU, the Denoising strength could be set as high as 0.4, with no or little visible artifacts appearing in the output image.
To engage this option, enable ControlNet Unit 0 in the Forge img2img UI, check Pixel Perfect, select Tile in the Control Type combo, select Tile resample in the preprocessor dropdown box and the corresponding model in the next box, which is usually control_v11f1e_sd15_tile when using a 1.5 checkpoint and ttplanetSDXLControlnet_v10Fp16 when using a SDXL one (the only one that worked for me, might require explicit downloading and installing to Forge). Next, set Control weight to a value between 0.5 and 0.7 inclusive (this relaxes the ControlNet Tile fidelity, which we need for the purposes of detail-adding), and leave the rest of the ControlNet settings at the default.
Note that the MD + ControlNet mode combination, as I found, doesn’t really work under Forge: when both are selected, the process upscale starts quickly but then stagnates without any visible progress, for hours. (In contrast, the same combination works just fine under SDU, for both 1.5 and SDXL flavors.)
Other parameters in Forge’s img2img interface
Clip skip. Leave at the default. Changing this might make no impact whatsoever, I have never checked.
Resize mode. Leave at Just resize.
Refiner. This is an interesting option worth experimenting with. It allows the user to select a secondary checkpoint whose output will be mixed with that of the primary one, at a selected point of processing specified by the Switch at parameter (reasonable values between 0.6 and 0.85). Unfortunately, while potentially useful from the creative perspective, this option is too computationally costly, slowing down runtimes to anything from 2 (for SD 1.5) to 8 times (for SDXL checkpoints, which are larger). This happens due to constant checkpoint loading and unloading (a rather time-consuming operation) performed for every tile being processed.
Batch count / Batch size. Leaving these at 1 would be a practical choice, to avoid wasting your computing time - unless you want, say, to experiment with the Denoising strength at its higher values when upscaling at a low to medium image resolution.
Seed. Usually left at -1 to allow random variation of the output.
MultiDiffusion integrated. Enable this control when you want to upscale with this particular extension, as opposed to the SD upscale script. The choice of the specific Method between MultiDiffusion and Mixture of Diffusers does not affect the output that much (in my experience anyway), I understand it was retained in Forge for backward compatibility with MD under Automatic. An important related option: see Never OOM integrated below.
Never OOM integrated: when selecting MD extension for upscaling, it is necessary to synchronously enable this extension as well, and check the box labeled Enabled for VAE (always tiled), and not the other one above it. If this is not done, upscaling of a large sized image will last indefinitely long. In contrast, upscaling with SDU necessitates unchecking of that option and leaving Never OOM inactive, for exactly the same reason.
Script. Select SD upscale form the dropdown box when upscaling with SDU. In this case, MultiDiffusion integrated must be deactivated, or else neither of the two options will work properly. Also, when selecting SDU, make sure to deactivate Never OOM, as mentioned above. The Upscaler choice is up to your experimentation (see Substep 1 at the top), but for the purposes of this routine it is normally set to None.
All the other integrated extensions present in Forge’s interface are best to leave inactive.
Forge vs Automatic1111, SD 1.5 vs SDXL and the fate of Tiled Diffusion
Based on my experience in this upscaling project, a few general conclusions can be made. For the purposes of the project, Forge WebUI proved a much better choice, with either of the two methods: it runs significantly faster and its output is much less prone to visible tiling, seams and other artifacts than when using equivalent tools under Automatic. The MD implementation in Forge, however, is much incomplete, with important features, such as Noise Inversion, slow modes of Tiled VAE encoding / decoding and others left out, as compared to the Automatic version of MD (where it is called Tiled Diffusion btw). In my view, this drawback of Forge is largely compensated not only by faster runtimes but also by much more robust, stable performance, and most importantly much better tile management that practically solves the problem of visible tiles and seams (you won’t even find an option like Seams fix in Forge, it’s done behind the scenes and done exceptionally well), not to mention it allows to run highres upscaling on GPUs with 8 GB VRAM.
What’s more, support for v1.5 checkpoints in Froge feels somewhat incomplete, at least speaking of the MD/TD implementation. All in all, however, I feel that the MD/TD method is no longer relevant for HR image upscaling, seeing the drastic improvement of the SD upscale script. From my upscaling perspective, unless Automatic will be merged with Forge to take advantage of the improvements in the latter, the former remains relevant only for MD/TD-based upscaling with 1.5 checkpoints. It doesn’t help either that development of TD/MD has remained dormant for the last two months. (Which is sad, since SDXL support in MD, native or under Forge, has not been developed beyond only a nominal one - it doesn’t really work well with checkpoints of that version, as I found in the course of my project.)
Although, to be fair, an even more worrying picture holds for Forge development, which hasn’t seen any update since February.
The quality of SDXL-based generation as compared to that of v1.5 is a matter of a separate discussion; due to space constraints, I won’t go into that here. I will just add that personally I find SDXL-based upscaling superior to v1.5 one, for most use cases.
The folder with the complete selection of demo images from the project prepared for this post is available here.
https://preview.redd.it/3y1nwkod110d1.jpg?width=7680&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5c12e51fa2d44bb8336a7ca8c02094b349a61799
submitted by Ok-Vacation5730 to StableDiffusion [link] [comments]


2024.05.12 18:26 Gracelc3 I (20f) love both my mom (60f) and my boyfriend (24m), but my mom really hates him. Is there a way to maintain both relationships?

A bit of background - Me: 20F, in college, living at home with parents. I’m pretty quiet, reserved, and prefer to avoid conflicts. I know what beliefs and values (both political and non political) I tend to agree with, but I’m still figuring a lot of it out.
My mom: she has a very strong personality. Her emotions run very close to the surface, meaning she usually runs with what she feels without thinking through it. She is quite political and feels very strongly in her beliefs and values, and often any disagreement (or implication of disagreement) of those beliefs results in an argument. Usually when arguments happen (whether it be about politics or not) involves a lot of anger on her part, and when she gets angry, it’s like she gets blinded to reason. So it’s usually best to avoid arguing when possible. Despite this flaw, and despite our differences, her and I have a very close relationship.
My boyfriend: 24M, he and I have been dating for 1.5 years. He has high functioning autism, but with my personality we work quite well together and have a good relationship, but there are some logistical things that make me uncertain about the future (his work might take him to places I don’t want to live in). Also his autism makes him a rigid thinker, so when he thinks someone is incorrect, he pursues it (in an intellectual, non emotional way). This usually means he cites what he knows and asks questions.
The conflict - My mom and my boyfriend had a fight that I should have seen coming. The three of us were walking in my boyfriend’s neighborhood, and my mom was already in a bad mood. She tells my boyfriend what she thinks about a certain political idea, and he starts citing what he knows, she pushes back and he asks questions. My mom took this as disagreement, so she starts getting really angry and basically yelling and talking over him. It was ugly and unhinged. He can’t get a word in so he calmly excuses himself and leaves because he’s not just going to sit there and let her yell at him (don’t blame him). Afterwards my mom gave me a long, heated lecture on what a [insert every negative adjective] person my boyfriend is and that I deserve someone way better. Even though I think she is wrong, I just sat there and let her rant because once she’s in the angry state, disagreement will only make it way worse. Side note, the topic they were arguing about is something I don’t feel one way or another.
Fast forward two months, my mom still really hates him. I thought I could just deal with it, but her constant open resentment of him towards me was not only hurtful, but it’s making it difficult to see the potential conflicts in my relationship clearly (whether this are going to work logistically long term, if we want the same thing in the future, etc.). It’s things like calling him names and getting mad whenever he is brought up. So last night I decided to write her a letter explaining that her resentment of my boyfriend was starting to wear on me. I asked her to stop, and that if she wanted to discuss her concerns about him, we can set aside to do so in a calm, mature manner.
This was a HUGE mistake. She basically ignored how her behavior was affecting me and accused me of secretly hating her this whole time. She’s convinced that my boyfriend was in on it (the letter) and she’ll never, ever like him (even though I didn’t ask her do that, I only asked her to stop openly resenting him to my face). She thought the letter was me slandering her as a mom and a confession of how much I truly hate her. Now, at this point I think she has a mental issue that I’ve been unwilling to see. The way she twists the truth and her emotions get out of control isn’t really normal and I’m aware of that… but I still really love her and I know she loves me too. (If I was able to just cast her aside and didn’t care about what she thought I wouldn’t be having a problem here).
After like four hours of listening to her talk at me, making herself the victim, I was the one who apologized (even though it wasn’t right, I’m trying to prioritize maintaining our relationship). I’m absolutely clueless on what to do now. My mom is not going to change, she is always going to see my boyfriend as an enemy, she’ll never like him no matter how great he is. That resentment will always cause tension in my relationship with both my boyfriend and my mom. I am starting to wonder if dating my boyfriend for this reason is worth it, but I feel it’s so unfair to end it because my mom has issues. I love my boyfriend a lot, but our logistical issues is also affecting my certainty. I would be really heartbroken if we broke up nonetheless. I was also considering taking a break but I don’t know if that would help in any way. I feel like I’m going to be hurt no matter what happens.
Tl;dr - my mom resents my boyfriend because she is emotionally irrational, but I love both her and my boyfriend. Is there a way to maintain my relationship with my mom and my boyfriend in a healthy way or am I doomed?
submitted by Gracelc3 to relationships [link] [comments]


2024.05.12 16:22 Gracelc3 I (20F) love both my mom (61F) and boyfriend (24F), but my mom hates him. Is there a way I can maintain both relationships?

A bit of background - Me: 20F, in college, living at home with parents. I’m pretty quiet, reserved, and prefer to avoid conflicts. I know what beliefs and values (both political and non political) I tend to agree with, but I’m still figuring a lot of it out.
My mom: she has a very strong personality. Her emotions run very close to the surface, meaning she usually runs what she feels without thinking through it. She is quite political and feels very strongly in her beliefs and values, and often any disagreement (or implication of disagreement) of those beliefs results in an argument. Usually when arguments happen (whether it be about politics or not) involves a lot of anger on her part, and when she gets angry, it’s like she gets blinded to reason. So it’s usually best to avoid arguing when possible. Despite this flaw, and despite our differences, her and I have a very close relationship.
My boyfriend: 24M, he and I have been dating for 1.5 years. He has high functioning autism, but with my personality we work quite well together and have a good relationship, but there are some logistical things that make me uncertain about the future (his work might take him to places I don’t want to live in). Also his autism makes him a rigid thinker, so when he thinks someone is incorrect, he pursues it (in an intellectual, non emotional way). This usually means he cites what he knows and asks questions.
The conflict: My mom and my boyfriend had a fight that I should have seen coming. The three of us were walking in my boyfriend’s neighborhood, and my mom was already in a bad mood. She tells my boyfriend what she thinks about a certain political idea, and he starts citing what he knows, she pushes back and he asks questions. My mom took this as disagreement, so she starts getting really angry and basically yelling and talking over him. It was ugly and unhinged. He can’t get a word in so he calmly excuses himself and leaves because he’s not just going to sit there and let her yell at him (don’t blame him). Afterwards my mom gave me a long, heated lecture on what a [insert every negative adjective] person my boyfriend is and that I deserve someone way better. Even though I think she is wrong, I just sat there and let her rant because once she’s in the angry state, disagreement will only make it way worse. Side note, the topic they were arguing about is something I don’t feel one way or another.
Fast forward two months, my mom still really hates him. I thought I could just deal with it, but her constant open resentment of him towards me was not only hurtful, but it’s making it difficult to see the potential conflicts in my relationship clearly (whether this are going to work logistically long term, if we want the same thing in the future, etc.). It’s things like calling him names and getting mad whenever he is brought up. So last night I decided to write her a letter explaining that her resentment of my boyfriend was starting to wear on me. I asked her to stop, and that if she wanted to discuss her concerns about him, we can set aside to do so in a calm, mature manner.
This was a HUGE mistake. She basically ignored how her behavior was affecting me and accused me of secretly hating her this whole time. She’s convinced that my boyfriend was in on it (the letter) and she’ll never, ever like him (even though I didn’t ask her do that, I only asked her to stop openly resenting him to my face). She thought the letter was me slandering her as a mom and a confession of how much I truly hate her. Now, at this point I think she has a mental issue that I’ve been unwilling to see. The way she twists the truth and her emotions get out of control isn’t really normal and I’m aware of that… but I still really love her and I know she loves me too. (If I was able to just cast her aside and didn’t care about what she thought I wouldn’t be having a problem here).
After like four hours of listening to her talk at me, making herself the victim, I was the one who apologized (even though it wasn’t right, I’m trying to prioritize maintaining our relationship). I’m absolutely clueless on what to do now. My mom is not going to change, she is always going to see my boyfriend as an enemy, she’ll never like him no matter how great he is. That resentment will always cause tension in my relationship with both my boyfriend and my mom. I am starting to wonder if dating my boyfriend for this reason is worth it, but I feel it’s so unfair to end it because my mom has issues. I love my boyfriend a lot, but our logistical issues is affecting also affecting my certainty. I would be really heartbroken if we broke up nonetheless. I was also considering taking a break but I don’t know if that would help in any way. I feel like I’m going to be hurt no matter what happens. Is there a way to maintain my relationship with my mom and my boyfriend or am I doomed?
submitted by Gracelc3 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2024.05.11 20:35 Winter_Roof_2006 How can i get my partner to understand how name calling during fights doesn't help his cause

I'm using partner loosely as we are in more of a situationship than a relationship now, but we've been together for more than a decade with one kid.
I can't seem to explain to him how badly name calling is affecting me. It's not with every fight but most fights. The names go beyond b!tch, with the worst of it being c u next Tuesday, the r slur, and often saying I closely resemble someone who has autism. I tried everything suggested online for how to approach someone about them calling you names. But he's adamant that he isn't name calling. He said that these are just adjectives to accurately describe how I'm acting about things he's explained to me over and over that need to be fixed (like doing more around the house and with our homeschooling child even though I work full time and he's a SAHD as previously agreed upon), or if I'm being in his eyes disrespectful (interrupting, i'm withdrawn during arguments along with picking at my fingers and not looking directly at him).
What's strange is he hates when I decide to be petty and start calling myself those names around him. He rolls his eyes and says he knows I'm not those things I just ACT like it, and I shouldn't call myself any of those names. Also if I use his logic about name calling being used as adjectives to accurately describe how someone is acting (for example if I say he's acting like an a-hole) he blows up on me, threatening to kick me out if I ever do it again.
Deep down I know this is abuse and I should leave, I unfortunately have no means to safely at the moment. But I feel like I can get through to him. He was abused as a kid, if he can see he turned into his parents I think he'd change. He says absolutely no to couples therapy.
submitted by Winter_Roof_2006 to couplestherapy [link] [comments]


2024.05.11 20:19 Alphabunsquad що особливого сталося? I’ve seen sentences like this a million times but I never really understood why they are genitive, how it affects the sentence and when to use it myself.

In this case I can kind of read it as “what happened that was of specialness?” Still it’s a bit odd since you would think Особливістю would have better agreement with structure of the sentence since you just have a genitive adjective floating without a genitive noun. Is there like an omitted word here or does it have to do with the sentence being a question the way that negative statements can require genitives?
Then other times it just seems to be kind of less intelligible. It seems most common in short phrases. I wish I had another example prepared, but I think I see a lot of sentences just start with одного. For seemingly no reason.
submitted by Alphabunsquad to Ukrainian [link] [comments]


2024.05.11 16:39 EK_Raiding Meet another two amazing members of the EK team!

Meet another two amazing members of the EK team! submitted by EK_Raiding to u/EK_Raiding [link] [comments]


2024.05.11 15:33 icecream1614 lowest MSPE adjective—chances for competitive programs?

just finished m1 at a T70 in the midwest here. I’m barely passing preclinicals atm. we’re technically p/f but our school assigns us adjectives based on our raw grade % (not by rank). I’m doing so badly I will likely end up in the lowest of the 4 adjectives (“good”, out of good/very good/excellent/superb) unless i get honors on all but two of my rotations next year (grading is h/hp/p).
I’m currently interested in IM, neurology, or gen surg, and want to do an (pulm/trauma/)crit care fellowship afterwards (if IM, also considering cards, or onc for IM/GS). I have a good amount of research items right now and generally like it, but I REALLY love teaching and want to be in a position where I can do that as a resident/ attending—so I think academics or university-affiliated community hospital is what I’m looking for? I’m also pretty desperate to match back to CA or at least the west coast given my parents and grandparents health situations atp.
anyway, am I being delulu about my chances right now given my grades? I know step 2 is a huge marker, but being in the bottom 5% of my class (what “good” means) isn’t gonna help. plus my school has both AOA and GHHS, neither of which i’ll get bar a miracle. should I should pivot now and try to get more FM experience/mentors since my research and extracurriculars are all pretty IM- or neuro-focused?
(for context, I initially had a rough time transitioning, but did okay for a bit before really starting to struggle with anatomy, which would both affect my test scores since it was 40% or every exam and affect the time i could dedicate to other disciplines. I also didn’t ask for help until it was far too late—entirely my fault. by the end, i was so burned out I finished m1 with a 73%. you need an 81+ average between m1 and m2 to be in the top 3 adjectives unless you honor most of your clinicals).
submitted by icecream1614 to medicalschool [link] [comments]


2024.05.11 10:01 MayoOnAnEscalat0r Dumb Ukraine War Clickbait

Everyone once in a while some stupid YouTube video that starts with an adjective such as Horrible! paired with a poorly photoshopped thumbnail and AI voices pops up in my search feed. These YouTube videos are created by both sides and it feels like those videos are made by retarded people who want to rage bait people into clicking on their videos. These people lazily create a script for an AI to read off of probably because they can’t speak English and their thumbnails contain gigantic red arrows and copy pasted soldiers and vehicles with outlandish titles. I even saw a video that had a thumbnail of a Russian tank column with American flags pasted over each vehicle and a gigantic NATO flag pasted on a warship in the background with a gigantic and oversized red arrow pointing to the frontman on the image. The video claimed that NATO had declared war on Russia and that they were being pummeled yet the video itself contained ZERO footage or images of the event they were describing. I’m surprised YouTube hasn’t taken channels like these down already considering how that same channel claimed that the US was sinking Chinese ships in the South China Sea.
submitted by MayoOnAnEscalat0r to rant [link] [comments]


2024.05.11 04:04 ConstrutorTex Wanted to showcase my conlang, Sonpe Pra Dindi

So, five years ago, my family adopted a dog. So I started worshipping him and made a religion, empire and language. I wanted to share the language.
It has 24 letters, and the the syllable structure is (C) (C) V (C), and they must start with a consonant if there is at least one(There are some rules on 2 letters in the same syllable, but anyway).
The interesting thing about it is that you can add a word to the end of another one, making it a adjective. For example: Animal is Bi, Lam is cute or beautiful, sav is savage and Ne or Nhe makes the previous word its opposite. So Bilamsavne is Dog, A beautiful civilized animal.
Now please, ask anything about it and comment anything you think about it. Im dumb, so if you use any complex term, please explain in your comment.
Link to the conlang: https://conworkshop.com/view_language.php?l=DINDI
Edit: the script are in my 2 comments.
submitted by ConstrutorTex to conlangs [link] [comments]


2024.05.11 01:42 lorandbr Organizing your playlists

Hey! So, I have a lot of music downloaded that I organize inside the Moulinette folder. However, I've been having problems choosing the soundtrack for each scene, mostly because I have to listen file by file to see which one I prefer for each situation.
To accelerate this process, I thought of organizing the files in some playlists that would simplify the job. So I'd have for example playlists like Happy, Sad, Tense, Mysterious, etc.
However, it is very complicated to divide musics like this, mainly because each music is so unique that I cannot really describe the feeling that it gives me with only one adjective. For example, a happy music can be joyful or glorious, a sad music can be sorrowful or melancholic, etc etc.
I could also try to organize playlists by event, so things like Start of an Adventure, Entering a new Village, Exploring the Sea, Battle Music, etc. But still I'd have the same problem.
I think a good solution for that would be to implement somehow a system of tags, and the same audio track could receive more than one tag. For example some music could receive the tags happy+joyful+start of an adventure. I don't know if there is some way of doing that on Foundry or in the files of my computer though.
But what about you? How do you organize your music files to use them on Foundry?
submitted by lorandbr to FoundryVTT [link] [comments]


2024.05.11 00:59 Obvious-Ad1367 Digging a level deeper on branding

No matter what name is chosen, people will not be happy. Some people will always hate it, while for others, their passion will grow with the team. You'll never please 100% of people 100% of the time.
A lot of people are failing to realize is that a sports brand is not just a cool t-shirt and hat. It's an experience that ties communities and people together. It creates a common language that builds bonds.
What's in a name? Can we just slap any ole' name on there and call it a day?
Let's look at the Jazz. For years we have heard "why don't we switch the name?" It doesn't have anything to do with Utah. It's true, we aren't know for our amazing street musicians. Nothing about it screams Utah. However, after 40 years, the Jazz brand has permeated Utah culture. Native Utahns grew up going to Jazz games. We grew up experiencing the culture around their success. It had such an effect that if you grew up in the 90's/00's you probably remember everything with the 'ZZ' ending. The name created ripples across Utah.
My guess though, if we got an expansion NBA team today, there wouldn't be a single person considering the name 'Jazz.'
I think this shows two things - first, you can create a brand that has a passionate following out of any name. It's about the experience surrounding the team, which will grow over time. Talented creatives will amplify that experience, regardless of name. Second, how people's identity changes based off the team is as important as the name is.
--
Before you downvote and bring the pitchforks, hear me out. Name selection can open up different levels of opportunity. Think of each name having a DnD stat sheet of pros and cons.
The name that is chosen should allow the greatest potential of an expanded brand language. Not just one stat maxed out. Again, this isn't about t-shirts and hats, it's about the marketing opportunities, the tie-ins, the arena experience, and the ability to keep people coming back.
The first consideration is the ability to create an expanded brand language. Let's look at the Golden Knights. They tap into the zeitgeist of Las Vegas and medieval lore. They use terms like, "Knight of the realm." The fonts they use invoke medieval heraldry. In the arena, they talk about the kings court, 'knight time' etc. A lot of their branding uses motifs of gold, royalty, and gambling. Cards and coins are used as texture elements, and everything is pretty gaudy - but it works. It feels like Vegas. Plus, People. Eat. This. Shit. Up.
The Avalanche use mountains, snow, and ice as their motifs. Everything fits into the snowy, blizzard, cold theme very well. It's not as expanded as Vegas, but it still has a unique theme. Overall their branding was to fit into the Colorado professional sports sphere.
Then you have the Sharks. What do they have? Sharks. Not much more to it than that.
We need a name that taps into a part of Utah's zeitgeist. We need something that feels uniquely Utah (that is inclusive to non-relgious folk) that doesn't feel like we are trying too hard. Do we need it to be as gaudy as Vegas? No, but we also don't want to hit the same note every year like the Sharks.
--
Next, let's talk about fitting a name within the sphere of the NHL. We need to consider how to fit the brand as a piece into the NHL puzzle. Our name needs to feel like it belongs - and not just a one-off. I think that is why the name Kraken was so widely panned when first launched. It just didn't feel like it fit as an NHL name.
I categorized NHL names into 6 different origins.
Historical/culture is based off of something related to the region, while the 'other' category was decided by ownership based off preference (note that Blackhawks was owners choice but was historically related to his WWII squadron, but ultimately after the Blackhawk tribe).
You can see that the three top categories would be historical/cultural, and tied in second are animals and elemental based names.
Ultimately, I believe that it would be better for our team to be historical/culturally significant to Utah, or animal based, due to our other Rocky Mountain counterpart already filling the elemental space with the Avalanche.
I would also argue that mythical creatures, while appearing in the list at 2 exist, would still feel out of place as a whole. Plus, unless we are talking Bear Lake Monster, we don't have much of a connection to a certain choice that seem to be topping a lot of lists.
--
What would my choices be?
In no particular order, Outlaws, Mammoths (plural since each animal team is also plural) and Raptors. Each of them tie into Utah in a unique way that doesn't feel forced. The branding opportunities outside of merch feel like they would fit into Utah well.
Outlaws lean into the wild west motif quite nicely, separating us from Colorado. Utah was quite properly the wild west in the early 20th century. Plus, there is an whole expandable vernacular that can be used. Until lacrosse starts making as much money as the NHL, no one will stop to think twice about considering their feelings.
Mammoths are great because you can also use mammoth as an adjective. They feel stoic and sturdy. There are opportunities around the ice age and eons. We have found mammoths in Utah, including a near-complete one near Huntington North reservoir.
Raptors would have been great, but didn't make the short list. Similar reasons as Mammoths. I think because the Toronto Raptors, this name was dropped from consideration (the NBA makes more than the NHL, so no whatabouts with lacrosse).
My least favorites:
Yeti. I get it, you like the sound of it. Alliteration is always an ample opportunity. Technically there are several team names that fall under the mythical creature or 'it has a ring to it' categories. The main issue is what do you do with this? It's very little do with Utah, and the branding is limited to mountains - which Avs already have a claim to with their motifs.
Blizzard - basically the same complaints. It's way too close to the Avalanche. It is just doesn't differentiate from Colorado enough for me to take it seriously.
Venom - I just don't think this one fits into the NHL sphere very well. I suppose this would go under the Elemental category. I could see the motifs being about snakes and desert, but I don't see that expanded brand language as much as other options.
--
Thanks for coming to my ted talk. I enjoyed putting this together.
submitted by Obvious-Ad1367 to NHLinSLC [link] [comments]


2024.05.11 00:48 Obvious-Ad1367 Digging a level deeper on branding

No matter what name is chosen, people will not be happy. Some people will always hate it, while for others, their passion will grow with the team. You'll never please 100% of people 100% of the time.
A lot of people are failing to realize is that a sports brand is not just a cool t-shirt and hat. It's an experience that ties communities and people together. It creates a common language that builds bonds.
What's in a name? Can we just slap any ole' name on there and call it a day?
Let's look at the Jazz. For years we have heard "why don't we switch the name?" It doesn't have anything to do with Utah. It's true, we aren't know for our amazing street musicians. Nothing about it screams Utah. However, after 40 years, the Jazz brand has permeated Utah culture. Native Utahns grew up going to Jazz games. We grew up experiencing the culture around their success. It had such an effect that if you grew up in the 90's/00's you probably remember everything with the 'ZZ' ending. The name created ripples across Utah.
My guess though, if we got an expansion NBA team today, there wouldn't be a single person considering the name 'Jazz.'
I think this shows two things - first, you can create a brand that has a passionate following out of any name. It's about the experience surrounding the team, which will grow over time. Talented creatives will amplify that experience, regardless of name. Second, how people's identity changes based off the team is as important as the name is.

Before you downvote and bring the pitchforks, hear me out. Name selection can open up different levels of opportunity. Think of each name having a DnD stat sheet of pros and cons.
The name that is chosen should allow the greatest potential of an expanded brand language. Not just one stat maxed out. Again, this isn't about t-shirts and hats, it's about the marketing opportunities, the tie-ins, the arena experience, and the ability to keep people coming back.
The first consideration is the ability to create an expanded brand language. Let's look at the Golden Knights. They tap into the zeitgeist of Las Vegas and medieval lore. They use terms like, "Knight of the realm." The fonts they use invoke medieval heraldry. In the arena, they talk about the kings court, 'knight time' etc. A lot of their branding uses motifs of gold, royalty, and gambling. Cards and coins are used as texture elements, and everything is pretty gaudy - but it works. It feels like Vegas. Plus, People. Eat. This. Shit. Up.
The Avalanche use mountains, snow, and ice as their motifs. Everything fits into the snowy, blizzard, cold theme very well. It's not as expanded as Vegas, but it still has a unique theme. Overall their branding was to fit into the Colorado professional sports sphere.
Then you have the Sharks. What do they have? Sharks. Not much more to it than that.
We need a name that taps into a part of Utah's zeitgeist. We need something that feels uniquely Utah (that is inclusive to non-relgious folk) that doesn't feel like we are trying too hard. Do we need it to be as gaudy as Vegas? No, but we also don't want to hit the same note every year like the Sharks.

Next, let's talk about fitting a name within the sphere of the NHL. We need to consider how to fit the brand as a piece into the NHL puzzle. Our name needs to feel like it belongs - and not just a one-off. I think that is why the name Kraken was so widely panned when first launched. It just didn't feel like it fit as an NHL name.
I categorized NHL names into 6 different origins.
Historical/culture is based off of something related to the region, while the 'other' category was decided by ownership based off preference (note that Blackhawks was owners choice but was historically related to his WWII squadron, but ultimately after the Blackhawk tribe).
You can see that the three top categories would be historical/cultural, and tied in second are animals and elemental based names.
Ultimately, I believe that it would be better for our team to be historical/culturally significant to Utah, or animal based, due to our other Rocky Mountain counterpart already filling the elemental space with the Avalanche.
I would also argue that mythical creatures, while appearing in the list at 2 exist, would still feel out of place as a whole. Plus, unless we are talking Bear Lake Monster, we don't have much of a connection to a certain choice that seem to be topping a lot of lists.

What would my choices be?
In no particular order, Outlaws, Mammoths (plural since each animal team is also plural) and Raptors. Each of them tie into Utah in a unique way that doesn't feel forced. The branding opportunities outside of merch feel like they would fit into Utah well.
Outlaws lean into the wild west motif quite nicely, separating us from Colorado. Utah was quite properly the wild west in the early 20th century. Plus, there is an whole expandable vernacular that can be used. Until lacrosse starts making as much money as the NHL, no one will stop to think twice about considering their feelings.
Mammoths are great because you can also use mammoth as an adjective. They feel stoic and sturdy. There are opportunities around the ice age and eons. We have found mammoths in Utah, including a near-complete one near Huntington North reservoir.
Raptors would have been great, but didn't make the short list. Similar reasons as Mammoths. I think because the Toronto Raptors, this name was dropped from consideration (the NBA makes more than the NHL, so no whatabouts with lacrosse).
My least favorites:
Yeti. I get it, you like the sound of it. Alliteration is always an ample opportunity. Technically there are several team names that fall under the mythical creature or 'it has a ring to it' categories. The main issue is what do you do with this? It's very little do with Utah, and the branding is limited to mountains - which Avs already have a claim to with their motifs.
Blizzard - basically the same complaints. It's way too close to the Avalanche. It is just doesn't differentiate from Colorado enough for me to take it seriously.
Venom - I just don't think this one fits into the NHL sphere very well. I suppose this would go under the Elemental category. I could see the motifs being about snakes and desert, but I don't see that expanded brand language as much as other options.

Thanks for coming to my ted talk. I enjoyed putting this together.
submitted by Obvious-Ad1367 to Utah_Hockey [link] [comments]


2024.05.11 00:09 Cute-Beautiful7883 Boyfriend broke up with me because I have a family member in Hong Kong; he is about to do a TS clearance investigation

EDIT: This topic seems to be very hot and popular here and I appreciate everyone’s input. While I know majority of people here are angry and frustrated, I respectfully would like you all to not pose any negative adjectives because he is a genuine person. I know my gut - by glancing at all replies it really sounds like he wasn’t being told the whole story by the Security Rep, wasn’t told the whole story about what he heard from past experience, and/or he is just being extra cautious. My gut is telling me that he can keep both because honesty over perfection wins - he made a decision and I need to respect it. All I want is happiness for everyone and I will move on for the time being. I will try to read and reply to responses when I’m able to/want to.
Long summary short:
** EDITING THIS PORTION FOR CLARIFICATION: I am a US Citizen - Chinese American. My parents are also US citizens but we’re not born in the US (not China). I have families outside of the US (more than 3+ countries with Hong Kong being 1 of them. I only have 1 family member in Hong Kong and keep in close contact frequently.). **
I don't know much about Aerospace jargon until I met my now ex boyfriend. We started dating last year and he has a Security Clearance. He recently accepted a new role offer and needs a TS with Polygraph test. He works at a major Aerospace company. He discussed with his Security Advisor who informed him that HK is part of China and would affect his eligibility for a TS clearance. Additionally, if he fails the polygraph, he loses everything.
Sadly he broke up with me because of what the Security Advisor confirmed. He said this was on top of his head since we started dating/getting to know each other, but since he accepted a new role that requires TS - things are more serious and strict.
Any thoughts/experience you may have would be great. I've been reading a lot of similar stories on this and I see ** both ends of the spectrum**. Is it possible for him to keep both? I ultimately respected his decision as a stable career is more important than me.
Note: He stated he did not list me when he submitted his Security clearance renewal last year. Also did not list me for his TS application - otherwise he would not have been cleared.
** EDIT**
submitted by Cute-Beautiful7883 to SecurityClearance [link] [comments]


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