Pubic hairstyles boy
Fallout New Vegas (season 2 fanfiction
2024.05.14 04:16 moderndaywizard956 Fallout New Vegas (season 2 fanfiction
2296, The scene is set in a post apocalyptic Mojave desert, 15 years after a joint effort of the New California Republic, the Rangers, and the mysterious benefactor of the New Vegas Strip, Mr. House pushed back an attempted invasion of the Mojave and a final battle was waved for control of the hydroelectric powerhouse, Hoover Damm.
In the aftermath, Mr. House was removed from power discreetly, due to the actions of a wasteland wanderer on a mission for revenge, known only as the Courier. Mr. House's iconic Lucky 38 casino opened its doors, for the first time, offering a single floor casino and bar, it's upstairs remained an exclusive and mysterious meeting place for the New Vegas Strip's elite. The Lucky 38 represented one of the cleanest, most secure facilities, protected, like the rest of the strip, by the Securitron Mk 2, predominantly. Their presence ensured visitors on the Strip behaved themselves, though the other casinos maintained their own security and 'house rules' internally.
The Strip defined and maintained its status as an independent entity, determining through the Courier's observations that the NCR was stretching it's military might too thin, and couldn't realistically manage over the Strip and Mojave, so a new deal was struck, similar to the prior, but with The Strip extending it's Securitron security to enforce the immediately surrounding communities and a few outlying satelites. Trade to the surrounding areas increased, the Mojave benefitting from the prewar tech, pre-programmed security forces. The drug addicted fiends and other Raider groups would never be any match for their advanced weaponry, and ultimately were cleared out of existence.
The King's continued to watch over Freeside, making alliances with the Follower's of the Apocalypse... their desire to service the needs of the belittled, disadvantaged and destitute lined up, and this is where Mr. Wolf found his place in the story... the Courier and a Follower's doctor found love in the wasteland.... and raised a child together under a Ranger's flag... 23 years later? This is New Vegas...
A handsome man in a leather jacket sat in a dusty leather booth watching one of the girls dance on a pole, shaking her ass as bottle caps clinked on the stage in front of her. It was a swanky post apocalyptic casino strip club. A man in a leather jacket stood nearby, his hands crossed in front of his chest, "Kings" embroidered across the back in silver letters. A waitress approached him carrying a glass of some amber colored liquor, and sat it down at the half moon table. She lingered a moment in her lacey body suit, following his gaze up to the girl rubbing her tits in some older cowboys face.
"You don't get jealous seeing her like that, Mr. Wolf." The girl bit her lip and met his eyes as he picked up his glass and swirled it before giving it a smell and taking a slow swig. He tilted his head looking her over. She couldn't possibly be older then 19. Tight, perky little thing.
Mr. Wolf smirked and shook his head. "I like her... nice and wet when she comes to my bed."
The girl blushed and bit her lip. "So you like to watch?" She surmised.
"I don't mind, but why do you ask?" Wolf had these intense eyes that shot arrows into your very soul. It made her incredibly nervous... but she found it deeply exciting at the same time.
"Well... I'm living in 206 now... maybe... you might stop by sometime and I could dance for you? I know I don't have her body but... if you wanted something that was a little fresher... something... just yours?" She figeted her fingers against the table.
Jason looked her over once more and smirked.
"Two-Oh-six, huh?" He tilted his head, considering.
She nodded.
"Leave your cum soaked panties on my doorknob one of these nights if you really need it and maybe I'll come see if you got the moves." His Texan accent was subdued, but enthrallingly charming with his confident, somewhat bored with reality overtones.
"M-my panties?" She stammered turning bright red. "On your doorknob?" Alexa couldn't believe what she was hearing.
"If you're gunna shoot your shot with a dom... with an alpha... you need to be willing to submit. If you can't do that... I'm not interested." Wolf shrugged, completely unphased.
"But what about... what if..." Alexa glanced at Laura, the clubs most iconic stripper in the club, perhaps even the whole Strip.
She was taking some NCR soldier to the VIP lounge for a private dance.
Alexa had been bold enough to offer herself but now she was feeling nervous. If Laura wanted her out, she could lose her job... her home.
"Oh she won't mind... if anything she'll want to watch." Wolf shook his head, sensing her anxiety.
"Assuming of course... she likes the way you smell... she's funny like that." Wolf let the conversation end and Alexa nervously retreated.
Wolf sat drinking by himself, but got bored.
"Jakey, go get yourself a drink and sit down, I'm bored." Wolf called to his body guard.
Jacob looked over and nodded, giving the lounge one last look around before approaching the bar and getting himself a mug of beer, from the tuxedo shirt and boytie bartender Gerald, and returning to the table.
"What's on your mind boss?" Jacob had his hair slicked back in the usual King's gang hairstyle.
"Heard any rumors lately?" Wold looked at him, taking a drag from his cigarette and flicking the pack over to him.
"Honestly, boss, aside from the occasional drunkard or fiend rolling through freeside, nothing out of the ordinary... well, except... a way's out.. the crazy lady... Gloria was swearing up and down she found a headless metal suit of armor.. said the Enclave would burn down New Vegas. God's wraith and all that, you know how she gets."
"Enclave?" Jason's attention was piqued.
"Yeah, I don't know, she was probably just in withdrawal from the Jet... said she found it in the hollowed out shell of the Super Duper, out by the old highway." Jacob shrugged and drank from his beer and pulled a cigarette from the pack.
Wolf finished the last drag of his own cigarette. "Has anyone validated her claims?"
"Well... no... but... I mean... you've met her, she sees things that aren't there, all the time." Jacob shrugged and lit a cigarette.
Jason squinted, considering the resident crazy ladies most recent half coherent ramblings.
"That's an oddly specific hallucination though....take a group of guys out there tonight... humor me, and make sure she's not right." Wolf lifted his glass.
"Sir?" Jacob raised an eyebrow, thinking surely this could wait until tomorrow.
"Hypothetically" Wolf pondered aloud, "If there was... for some reason, there in-fact was... a pre-war, piece of military tech out there....a T-45, let's say, or T-60, best case scenario? We want it. Even if it's not at 100% capacity? It's fusion core alone... could change up the game for Freeside, something like that could make our tiny little city independent. We wouldn't have to be reliant on the scraps of New Vegas, and forget about the Hoover Dam completely."
Jacob caught Mr. Wolf's drift.. a fusion core could mean producing its own, radiation-free water, it's own electricity.. not just a little, a lot. Powering long dead machines, not to mention the agricultural benefits... producing healthier, higher yield tobacco... expanding their income ten fold.
Jacob suddenly felt like he understood Mr. Wolf's vision for the future.
"I should... go and deploy the King's to investigate." Jacob concluded.
"I think that would be for the best, I can take care of myself here." Wolf waved Jacob off.
Jacob downed his beer and excused himself.
Wolf drank the rest of his whiskey, extinguishing his cigarette.
Laura, the dancer came up to the table, and Wolf motioned to the blushing new waitress for a round, who felt a twinge of jealousy seeing her crush with the most popular stage act in town. She bit her tongue though, bringing over two more heavy pours of whiskey.
Laura eyed the girl as she came and went.
"She likes you." Laura concluded as the waitress walked away.
"Yeah.. I think she does." Mr. Wolf shrugged, flicking her a cigarette.
"The NCR boy liked me." She giggled wiping a little bit of cum from her lips and used half her shot like mouthwash.
"Get anything out of him.. other then.. his seed?" Wolf sighed.
"Of course," She grinned mischievously, "Apparently there's been trouble out West with the Brotherhood. They had some type of skirmish? Apparently NCR lost? NCR was apparently holding some old world tech, I don't know, but apparently it lit up the west coast power grid, like... in it's entirely?" Laura tilted her head to look at him.
"The entire western power grid was lit up by a single piece of tech??" Wolf shook his head at the topless girl beside him.
"Yeah, I had to make him cum twice for more details, but apparently it's the size of a grain of rice, with quote, unlimited energy potential." Laura relayed the information. It seemed more important then a suit of power armor or its fusion core.
"Who else knows about this?" Wolf demanded with his eyebrows squinted against his eyes.
"Anyone with a functional light bulb for... like... three hundred miles?" Laura guessed with a shrug.
"You said... it was the Brotherhood that took the win on the skirmish?" Wolf clarified some details.
"Yeah... rumor has it they have a new up and coming knight that's making waves." Laura shrugged.
"Stay on the rumors... I need details." Mr. Wolf nodded at her, drank his whiskey and stood up, downing his drink.
An energy source that powerful would have a big effect on the balance of power in the Mojave. It could mean a resurrection of the New California Republic to it's former glory and then some, and potentially... might mean a renewed effort to reclaim the western part of the former United States, in time.
submitted by moderndaywizard956 to Fallout [link] [comments]
In the aftermath, Mr. House was removed from power discreetly, due to the actions of a wasteland wanderer on a mission for revenge, known only as the Courier. Mr. House's iconic Lucky 38 casino opened its doors, for the first time, offering a single floor casino and bar, it's upstairs remained an exclusive and mysterious meeting place for the New Vegas Strip's elite. The Lucky 38 represented one of the cleanest, most secure facilities, protected, like the rest of the strip, by the Securitron Mk 2, predominantly. Their presence ensured visitors on the Strip behaved themselves, though the other casinos maintained their own security and 'house rules' internally.
The Strip defined and maintained its status as an independent entity, determining through the Courier's observations that the NCR was stretching it's military might too thin, and couldn't realistically manage over the Strip and Mojave, so a new deal was struck, similar to the prior, but with The Strip extending it's Securitron security to enforce the immediately surrounding communities and a few outlying satelites. Trade to the surrounding areas increased, the Mojave benefitting from the prewar tech, pre-programmed security forces. The drug addicted fiends and other Raider groups would never be any match for their advanced weaponry, and ultimately were cleared out of existence.
The King's continued to watch over Freeside, making alliances with the Follower's of the Apocalypse... their desire to service the needs of the belittled, disadvantaged and destitute lined up, and this is where Mr. Wolf found his place in the story... the Courier and a Follower's doctor found love in the wasteland.... and raised a child together under a Ranger's flag... 23 years later? This is New Vegas...
A handsome man in a leather jacket sat in a dusty leather booth watching one of the girls dance on a pole, shaking her ass as bottle caps clinked on the stage in front of her. It was a swanky post apocalyptic casino strip club. A man in a leather jacket stood nearby, his hands crossed in front of his chest, "Kings" embroidered across the back in silver letters. A waitress approached him carrying a glass of some amber colored liquor, and sat it down at the half moon table. She lingered a moment in her lacey body suit, following his gaze up to the girl rubbing her tits in some older cowboys face.
"You don't get jealous seeing her like that, Mr. Wolf." The girl bit her lip and met his eyes as he picked up his glass and swirled it before giving it a smell and taking a slow swig. He tilted his head looking her over. She couldn't possibly be older then 19. Tight, perky little thing.
Mr. Wolf smirked and shook his head. "I like her... nice and wet when she comes to my bed."
The girl blushed and bit her lip. "So you like to watch?" She surmised.
"I don't mind, but why do you ask?" Wolf had these intense eyes that shot arrows into your very soul. It made her incredibly nervous... but she found it deeply exciting at the same time.
"Well... I'm living in 206 now... maybe... you might stop by sometime and I could dance for you? I know I don't have her body but... if you wanted something that was a little fresher... something... just yours?" She figeted her fingers against the table.
Jason looked her over once more and smirked.
"Two-Oh-six, huh?" He tilted his head, considering.
She nodded.
"Leave your cum soaked panties on my doorknob one of these nights if you really need it and maybe I'll come see if you got the moves." His Texan accent was subdued, but enthrallingly charming with his confident, somewhat bored with reality overtones.
"M-my panties?" She stammered turning bright red. "On your doorknob?" Alexa couldn't believe what she was hearing.
"If you're gunna shoot your shot with a dom... with an alpha... you need to be willing to submit. If you can't do that... I'm not interested." Wolf shrugged, completely unphased.
"But what about... what if..." Alexa glanced at Laura, the clubs most iconic stripper in the club, perhaps even the whole Strip.
She was taking some NCR soldier to the VIP lounge for a private dance.
Alexa had been bold enough to offer herself but now she was feeling nervous. If Laura wanted her out, she could lose her job... her home.
"Oh she won't mind... if anything she'll want to watch." Wolf shook his head, sensing her anxiety.
"Assuming of course... she likes the way you smell... she's funny like that." Wolf let the conversation end and Alexa nervously retreated.
Wolf sat drinking by himself, but got bored.
"Jakey, go get yourself a drink and sit down, I'm bored." Wolf called to his body guard.
Jacob looked over and nodded, giving the lounge one last look around before approaching the bar and getting himself a mug of beer, from the tuxedo shirt and boytie bartender Gerald, and returning to the table.
"What's on your mind boss?" Jacob had his hair slicked back in the usual King's gang hairstyle.
"Heard any rumors lately?" Wold looked at him, taking a drag from his cigarette and flicking the pack over to him.
"Honestly, boss, aside from the occasional drunkard or fiend rolling through freeside, nothing out of the ordinary... well, except... a way's out.. the crazy lady... Gloria was swearing up and down she found a headless metal suit of armor.. said the Enclave would burn down New Vegas. God's wraith and all that, you know how she gets."
"Enclave?" Jason's attention was piqued.
"Yeah, I don't know, she was probably just in withdrawal from the Jet... said she found it in the hollowed out shell of the Super Duper, out by the old highway." Jacob shrugged and drank from his beer and pulled a cigarette from the pack.
Wolf finished the last drag of his own cigarette. "Has anyone validated her claims?"
"Well... no... but... I mean... you've met her, she sees things that aren't there, all the time." Jacob shrugged and lit a cigarette.
Jason squinted, considering the resident crazy ladies most recent half coherent ramblings.
"That's an oddly specific hallucination though....take a group of guys out there tonight... humor me, and make sure she's not right." Wolf lifted his glass.
"Sir?" Jacob raised an eyebrow, thinking surely this could wait until tomorrow.
"Hypothetically" Wolf pondered aloud, "If there was... for some reason, there in-fact was... a pre-war, piece of military tech out there....a T-45, let's say, or T-60, best case scenario? We want it. Even if it's not at 100% capacity? It's fusion core alone... could change up the game for Freeside, something like that could make our tiny little city independent. We wouldn't have to be reliant on the scraps of New Vegas, and forget about the Hoover Dam completely."
Jacob caught Mr. Wolf's drift.. a fusion core could mean producing its own, radiation-free water, it's own electricity.. not just a little, a lot. Powering long dead machines, not to mention the agricultural benefits... producing healthier, higher yield tobacco... expanding their income ten fold.
Jacob suddenly felt like he understood Mr. Wolf's vision for the future.
"I should... go and deploy the King's to investigate." Jacob concluded.
"I think that would be for the best, I can take care of myself here." Wolf waved Jacob off.
Jacob downed his beer and excused himself.
Wolf drank the rest of his whiskey, extinguishing his cigarette.
Laura, the dancer came up to the table, and Wolf motioned to the blushing new waitress for a round, who felt a twinge of jealousy seeing her crush with the most popular stage act in town. She bit her tongue though, bringing over two more heavy pours of whiskey.
Laura eyed the girl as she came and went.
"She likes you." Laura concluded as the waitress walked away.
"Yeah.. I think she does." Mr. Wolf shrugged, flicking her a cigarette.
"The NCR boy liked me." She giggled wiping a little bit of cum from her lips and used half her shot like mouthwash.
"Get anything out of him.. other then.. his seed?" Wolf sighed.
"Of course," She grinned mischievously, "Apparently there's been trouble out West with the Brotherhood. They had some type of skirmish? Apparently NCR lost? NCR was apparently holding some old world tech, I don't know, but apparently it lit up the west coast power grid, like... in it's entirely?" Laura tilted her head to look at him.
"The entire western power grid was lit up by a single piece of tech??" Wolf shook his head at the topless girl beside him.
"Yeah, I had to make him cum twice for more details, but apparently it's the size of a grain of rice, with quote, unlimited energy potential." Laura relayed the information. It seemed more important then a suit of power armor or its fusion core.
"Who else knows about this?" Wolf demanded with his eyebrows squinted against his eyes.
"Anyone with a functional light bulb for... like... three hundred miles?" Laura guessed with a shrug.
"You said... it was the Brotherhood that took the win on the skirmish?" Wolf clarified some details.
"Yeah... rumor has it they have a new up and coming knight that's making waves." Laura shrugged.
"Stay on the rumors... I need details." Mr. Wolf nodded at her, drank his whiskey and stood up, downing his drink.
An energy source that powerful would have a big effect on the balance of power in the Mojave. It could mean a resurrection of the New California Republic to it's former glory and then some, and potentially... might mean a renewed effort to reclaim the western part of the former United States, in time.
2024.05.14 02:43 Jawbone619 Load Order Worked yesterday, Crashing on launch today [FO4]
I don't fully understand how to post my load order for rule 8 other than copy and paste, but I can absolutely do that if need be.
Despite todays update F4SE, it runs by itself
idk how to disable everything that requires it without manually checking the nexus pages of every mod to see if the F4se update is even related or if it some other mod and a base game update causing me issues (would love to know, as a couple other managers like Thunderstore auto disable dependent mods and it'd be crazy of Vortex didn't have the function)
submitted by Jawbone619 to FalloutMods [link] [comments]
Despite todays update F4SE, it runs by itself
idk how to disable everything that requires it without manually checking the nexus pages of every mod to see if the F4se update is even related or if it some other mod and a base game update causing me issues (would love to know, as a couple other managers like Thunderstore auto disable dependent mods and it'd be crazy of Vortex didn't have the function)
Automatically generated by Vortex
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Okay, fourth rewrite, I'm making this in hopes that their is someone who can help me in some way. Maybe someone knows the answer to it all and can guide me, though unlikely. I'll just list out all my issues in seperate paragraphs and hopefully their is just someone out their to help, if you can help me just please do, I really need help or at least someone and you reading this and giving me advice would truly mean a lot to me. Anyways
I feel stupid: I honestly feel braindead, I hate my mind so much. Sometimes it's hard to think or do, sometimes I can't think or do. My mind is so numb, everything about my mind just feels wrong and dead. My mind has felt dead for a year or two now and I just wish it was alive, I want my mind to be normol, I want it to actually work. I also want confidence in my mind, any failure or lack of underatanding makes me defeated and feeling like a dunce. Anything I can do I say was just luck or something anyone should know. I don't know if I'm stupid or not but dam I feel like I am the dumbest in a room. I would give it all to be intelliegent, I wish I was smart, well read, well informed, well versed. I so desperately want to know, so desperately want to be smart. I wish I could understand stuff. I just want to be smart and have a bright alive mind, but my mind is so dead and desolate and compared to the rest worthless. I hit myself in my head whenever I'm mistaken or just feel so stupid, and I honestly deserve it. If I were to kill myself my mind being numb and stupid would be the reason or a big reason why, I just want to be smart. You can likely tell just how much of an idiot I am by reading this via grammer, spelling, complaints. That "likely" was meant to be "probaboly" but I'm just stupid and worthless to spell. If there was just a way to be smart and not such a moron, I fucking hate my life.
I have body issues: I without doubt have body issues, the biggest of which is my weight. As of now I am 5,9 (1.7M) and 211lbs (95.7KG), I was 246lbs (111kg) to begin with and it was also my heaviest. Despite losing a good amount of weight I am not happy and have no pride, I'm still fat and thats all I see sadly. I don't want to be fat or skinny, I want to be muscular:big arms, built chest, flat stomach, no abs (don't like them) that sounds appealing, it's what I want. Unfourtunely I as of now can't work to this goal, I don't have money for a gym or equipment, famliy funds can't do it ethier and awhile ago I turned down a weight bench since I wasn't confident, now I regret that choice. I hate being fat so much, and this deep hatred and desperation has led to a embarassing cycle, for two years now I have been downloading images of muscular bodies. They're all drawings or from videogames since I'm to embarresed to have real images and as mentioned it's a cycle, Download and store -> have them and look at them for awhile -> get ashamed of myself -> purge it all -> regret -> repeat. Like stated this has been going for two years and as of now I have ten different images. Apart from weight I also have some other physical insecurites, acne being a big one. I been suffering from acne for years, fifth grade, early sixth grade is when it started so five years of this. It mostly effects my chin and cheeks badly but also effects more of my face, sometimes the acne hurts and it often even bleeds. I hate touching my face and feeling grime and ripping off a bunch of skin and dried shit. I wash every night and try to be frequent with morning witch-hazel but it dosen't relent. I also hate it when it gets mentioned, it is irratating to be reminded and noticed and nobody points it out more then my own mom who also cliams it would go if I just washed. I do, I fucking do! It's not working and you don't understand that! I also have body acne I don't know how to fix, I like sleeping shirtless which I know is the reason, also inconsistent with bedding which isn't right. Even if I did wash sheets weekly it wouldn't be enough, I would still get acne on my body. I just want to sleep shirtless and not get acne, I wish I could find a way. Another insecurite but not really is my height, I don't mind being 5'9/5'10 I mean it's about average height and I beat out my 5'4 father. But I'm sixteen which mean I still have possibilty to get taller and I wonder, will I? If I do, just how tall? Could I reach 6'0+? All of this speculation makes me a bit insecure, also with being fat I look short and round in the mirror which is defeating. I'm secure besides speculation and weight but at the same time I truly want to be taller, I think any man tall or short wishes they were taller, I wish I could break 6'0 that would be cool (to me). But I don't think that will ever happen, my dad is 5'4, my mom is 5'6 I made it 5'9/5'10 and my chart is stagnating, should just stop thinking I'll get taller. Another phsyical insecurite and likely the last one I'll mention unless I think of another worthwhile one is my hair, I'm insecurie of my hairstyle. Or lack of hairstyle, my mom says I have independence in this choice but whenever I make a choice she complains about it. Any agreement is one sided or changed up a little so she likes it. I have always hated my hairstyles over the years, even now and as of now it's ethier her way or a unorgainzied thick mess that will soon be her way. I hate it, wish I could make my own "independent" choice, even if I could my mom would likely hate it and always bring it up which is something I don't want to deal with. My mom is more for short cuts and fades etc, I hate fades and while I do admire short hair have always taken liking to shagger and longer styles, more rugged style. I have also always liked long hair and even wanted it. I used to openly want long hair for a long time but my mom opposed, I tried to convince her but she was opposed. She wasn't only opposed to it she made sure to express that it was gay and feminine etc, etc. She made me close off and forgot the desire but even now she won't let go. She is so sure to tell everyone: famliy, her friends, the hairdresser, hell maybe even strangers, she tells everyone about how much I wanted it and what she thought of it etc. Often I have been embarresed like this while I was right there, I have expressed that this embarreses me and want it to stop mutiple times yet she'll continue almost as if it's purposeful, she will also bring up an old friend T who had long hair as an example of it looking bad. But he didn't take care of it or do anything, most he would do is give into his moms begging and have her brush it. If I had long hair I would actually take care of it and do stuff to it! She also claims I got the idea from him, but no I liked it since elementary being inspired by personal inkling and rock. I no longer want hair but am starting to find styles I really like, but first I need to get my mom to fuck off. And second I would want to grow a beard, which is another issue of mine. I'm sixteen I shouldn't expect a full beard but I have seen peers with actual good facial hair, patchy beards, five o'clocks, some actually have a beard. Then there is me, with some sideburns and a bunch of peachfuzz, I want to be able to grow a beard and the peachfuzz plus sideburns bother me, I want it to actually devlop, I want a beard. I am also worried about devlopment, worried acne will hurt or even stop growth. I'm upset about my lack of growth though I definetly have unrealistic expectations. Lastly with hair is my chest hair, I'm quite hairy and I like it. And I have chest hair but barely and I just wish I had more over a greater coverage, more of a funny insecurite, lol. One more insecurity I forgot about is my voice. I'm loud when talking and my voice isn't as deep as I wish so that sucks.
(copy and paste from older write) I wish I had a father: I don't have a father or any form of father figure, I'm fatherless and it hurts a lot. My father has been out of my life since I was elevenish/twelveish (the peak of covid passed), we kicked him out because he is and was a meth addict in and out of the jail. He was a fuctioning addict so not violent and not as obvious of an addict but the meth still took him over. My mother says she kept him around and gave him so many chances because she wanted him to be in my life as a father. But he was no father when he was around, he didn't parent me, he didn't play his role as a father and guide as a masculine role model, hell he likely didn't even truly care for me. My only memories of him really are going to McDonold's with him, after which he dumpster dived behind the plaza as I begged for us to go back home. Or me wanting to bond with him so he sets up the brilliant idea of dragging me around with his skechy friends, to skechy places, even at skechy times. I don't understand why I knew sooner, guess I was a stupid basterd but I started picking up that my dad was a bad person around fifth grade. By then I quickly found out more and more and tenstion was growing, by eleven we we're going to kick him out but covid struck it's height and our household seemed palpable. But very quickly we said fuck it and threw him to the curb, we weren't going to have it no longer. Soon after around thirteen I was happy that he was gone but slightly disappointed that I no longer had a father (even if he was useless) and I hoped my mom would find someone, not only for herself but for me. By fourteen this really layed in heavy on me and the lack of a father really bummed me out, I got really stupid and desperate using bitlife to create guys then add me and my mom in to create step father famlies even adding step siblings and shit. By late fourteen it was made clear to me by my mom that "we don't need no man" and that she was done with dating. I very well do need a father figure, every child needs one. Hell I as a guy truly need(ed) one, there are so many lessons and things that come from a fatheson relationship that are crucial to a boy and I missed out on them. Hell even when my dad was around I missed out on lessons, I still remember he was tasked to teach me how to tie my shoes but got mad at me struggling and walked away. He refused to help afterward and I refused to try and never to this day learned the proper way to tie, instead I have my own far less efficent method. I missed out on so much by not having a father and it hurts to know that and I just wish I had the knowledge, without a masculine role model I have definetly missed out what it is to be a man and likely am even a loser of a man. I just want a father so badly, I want what a father provides so badly, I want the bond that it comes with. I wish I just had a guy to talk to and bond with, I want a dad just so badly. I wish I had someone who taught me how to change a tire or fish and all that shit, but I'll never have it and it angers me, I am angry to be fatherless, I am angry and lost without a father figure, and I'm jealous. I kind of want to have children when the time comes, I wonder if I'll fail them as well.
Friends: Growing up I was always a bit introverted, I think it was of my nature but was amplafied by life. In elementary I often acquainted myself with people never having any close friends outside my after school program. Jumping to middle school I had a good friend-group but it turned out my good friend T was really an ass and I was pushed out by him in early nineth grade. Later in nineth I met my good friend, my best friend M. This year in tenth I was introduced to a friend named D by M. These are my only two friends and I'm happy with them, though there are a few issues. Not anything major but just a few things, like how we never do anything outside of school. The only thing I really miss about my old friendgroup is that we actually did shit: springs, houses, events, parks, attractions, food. Now me, M and, D don't and have never done anything outside of school and the computer. M likely couldn't do anything because of his famliy and D just seems completely disinterested and worried about money. But I wish we could really do something, sure videogames are fun but it would be fun if we could just goof off somewhere, be stupid. This is really the only general "issue" apart from that no major strain or issue in the friendgroup. But I do have a few personal grievences, starting with D. I think D has a darker side of him, he seems to not respect or care for me and will sometimes show it in nasty ways. He had told both me and M to kill ourselves, he attacks insecurites, he says rude shit, etc. Also with D, we have never truly connected, never gotten to know each other personally. Without M we would be mere acquaintance, M is the only reason why me and D are friends and being alone with each other is mostly silence and maybe him showing me a TikTok. Then M, I have no personal issues with M only small factors of our friendship I'm upset or worried about. Starting off with is school, halfway through this year (tenth) M started a FLVS-hybrid. I am happy for him and it's something we both expressed wanting but now I never really see him. I could see him at lunch but he dosen't really come in and only other time I can see him is leaving campus. I ethier catch him and barely have a conversation worthwhile or he's to far ahead and I got to give up trying to reach him. The only way to talk to my best friend nowadays really is Discord, and that isn't even reliable since his parents are often controlling the WI-FI or taking his stuff away. This means when I do talk to my friend it can suddenly be ended as he disconnects or I can't even. This sucks, it feels like I can't even talk to my best friend that much. But that isn't all, because I'm worried for my friend M. His parents don't sound the best from all he's told me, I won't share his issues but just as an example he didn't have a bedroom for two months. Hearing what we gose through is alreadly dishearting but something that I worry deeply about is him talking sucide. He has talked and half joked about it several times and it's worry, I been trying to discourage but he continues with it so now I'm just trying to ignore it. That is likely the wrong way of handling it but I just don't know what to do. I hope it's always bluff and he moves out and moves on with he can, I don't want him to kill himself.
I'm lonely: I'm sixteen but I'm lonely. I am the only one of my friends who hasn't had a relationship, I am not the most worried about that, I don't want to date just to date, I want to date to love. But hell I still wish I had a relationship, even just a sterotypical high-school one. But what I truly want is true love, I want a woman I love with all my heart and a woman who loves me with all of hers, I want a woman to provide for, to protect, to matter to. I want to marry and possibly have kids. I want to love someone, be there for someone. But will I ever even have that? I'm alreadly a loser who no woman would want and even then from what I've heard, "modren dating is terrible" so what chance do I even have? Will I ever have someone to love? I hope.
School: School makes me so misereble and dead, this place makes me genuinely want to off myself I hate it so much. And it seems to revolve around my whole life, even at home it's all my mom wants to bring up. I just need a break from it all but it seems like it's the only thing in my life, I don't really have anything else. I failed my nineth grade year, I failed since I'm a stupid, worthless peice of shit. But they "passed" me onto tenth, gave me tenth grade classes, test, etc but say I'm still nineth, tell me do nineth grade "remedation" online. Now I'm failing like a worthless peice of shit once again! I wish they held me back to try again but they didn't they just pushed me on, still likely would've failed like a worthless bitch but I could have had a chance. I fucking hate myself I'm so stupid and I hate my school for pushing my stupid ass onward and onward, I should just kill myself at this point. And when I try to reach out to my counselor in any hope for some chance of help the piss poor communcation at this school means it'll take days for a response, I can't even get reliable help over school. Back in middle school I had a GPA in the high 3s, I made honor roll every other quater or so, I had high grades and sucess. But in high-school, in nineth grade I failed with straight Fs and got a GPA of 0.7, now in tenth I have a 1.7 and sometimes get high grades but mostly fail. I just wish I wasn't so stupid, I just wish I was smart and successful at school. But I'm not, I'm a fucking idiot and an embarssment at school. And maybe it would all be okay if it wasn't for the assholes I am surrounded by, my fellow peers of this overcrowded hell hole. Just seems like I can never catch a break with having to deal with people. I just want to be left alone but they're is just always somebody wanting to bother me, harass me. Can sit at a desk then have a bunch of cunts around me, harass me, call me burgundy because of my shirt. Can sit down and be snickered at by the guys in front of me for whatever reason. Sit down and have paper, pencils, even ice hitting me. Sit down and have some imbecible pull up a chair and use my desk as his and block me in my seat because fuck me, am I right? Just want to be left alone but never am, nobody ever dose it's always something. I can't even get respect, not a single bit, just always mistreated. Hell just the other day when I was given my packet I was also mistakenly given the packet of a nearby girl, I get her attention and hand it to her and she just snaches it and mumbles something, because I can't even be respected, I'm worthless. And even when I'm not being directly bothered I got to deal with slow walkers, idiots who don't know how to inconvience everyone else in the halls, the over crowded school. It all fucking sucks I hate it all, everyday I think I'm on the verge of snapping but somehow just have more patience, I don't know how much more of this shit I can or have to endure. At least my mom finally reconsidered my old forgotten pleads for online school and reopened the idea, maybe by some miracle online school will save me and "help me get caught up and ahead" but I doubt it, I'm an idiot who deserves to die. Why am I so fucking stupid, why am I like this? Why must I exist this way?
No hobbies or interest: I used to love a lot of things: reading, history, coming up with things in my head, videogames and, anything really. Now I have grown apathic to it all except videogames and even that dosen't bring much joy. I want to have my old hobbies back but lack the will to return. And I want new hobbies but yet lack will but also lacking knowing what I want to try. I'm lost with my freetime, it's all bleek and I want to fill my life with pastion. I still love videogames, always will but I need more then just gaming, I want more then gaming. I just want something, anything. I don't want to have such a lack of interest, God I fucking hate my life.
I have no future career goals: I'm sixteen and have no idea on what I want to do as an adult, some may say thats okay but it's not, not for me at least. I want to have a goal in the adult world, and even if that goal led to a path I don't like then I can always go down another path. Despite having no idea on what to do I at least know I don't want to be in an office. I could handle an office job, and be content with an office job but an office job isn't me, it isn't what sounds interesting, I would likely do blue collar or be my own boss. Some jobs I've considered and would do still are: police, SWAT police, house flipper, 911 operator, port worker, mechanic or something tinkeassemble like, enterpuner my book, film and games ideas or, open a store or bar or something. These are some jobs I've considered in the past that I would still see myself doing, I have also pondered over military/reserve but not sure. My childhood dream career that I still have a desire for is SWAT but I don't think I have what it takes, in fact I don't think I have what it takes for anything. I think all my life is destined to is dying homeless on a street corner, it's all I'll ever be "worthless".
I had so much planned, now failed: At age fourteen I planned to by now have a license, a job, a banking account, start savings. I planned to lose weight, I planned to have an idea outside of school, I had a plan. But I'm just a worthless peice of shit and a failure to myself, I don't even have a permit, no job, no savings, still fat, have no idea about the future, I failed myself.
Fidgeting: I can't stop but want to, at school I can't help but twiral a pencil around. I do it all the time at school but been trying to stop, I hate doing it. Worst part is I'm being immated by worthless cunts by it which is annoying. I want to stop this.
Masterbation addiction: I have a severe and low life addiction to masterbation. I do it at least once a day and sometimes mutiple times a day. The longest I was ever able to refrain was just a little over a week and only failed because I got bored. I need to jerk it to be able to sleep unless I'm desperately tired but even then. Also since I "need" it to sleep I regulary soil my sweatpants then sleep in it which is nasty. I can't control this vice, this low appetite and I'm deeply unhappy about it. Also unhappy that I might be ruining my endurence, a bit TMI but just another reason why this is harmful. I want to refrain or atleast drasticly cut out this pratice and fix myself.
I likely have more issues eating me inside as I waste away as a shell of a person but I can't really think of them. I am told my mom is looking into thearpy so that might be nice. Please just help me, I'm so lost and broken, I sometimes consider just ending it all but I just hope it can get good.
submitted by AlexandertheIght to selfimprovement [link] [comments]
I feel stupid: I honestly feel braindead, I hate my mind so much. Sometimes it's hard to think or do, sometimes I can't think or do. My mind is so numb, everything about my mind just feels wrong and dead. My mind has felt dead for a year or two now and I just wish it was alive, I want my mind to be normol, I want it to actually work. I also want confidence in my mind, any failure or lack of underatanding makes me defeated and feeling like a dunce. Anything I can do I say was just luck or something anyone should know. I don't know if I'm stupid or not but dam I feel like I am the dumbest in a room. I would give it all to be intelliegent, I wish I was smart, well read, well informed, well versed. I so desperately want to know, so desperately want to be smart. I wish I could understand stuff. I just want to be smart and have a bright alive mind, but my mind is so dead and desolate and compared to the rest worthless. I hit myself in my head whenever I'm mistaken or just feel so stupid, and I honestly deserve it. If I were to kill myself my mind being numb and stupid would be the reason or a big reason why, I just want to be smart. You can likely tell just how much of an idiot I am by reading this via grammer, spelling, complaints. That "likely" was meant to be "probaboly" but I'm just stupid and worthless to spell. If there was just a way to be smart and not such a moron, I fucking hate my life.
I have body issues: I without doubt have body issues, the biggest of which is my weight. As of now I am 5,9 (1.7M) and 211lbs (95.7KG), I was 246lbs (111kg) to begin with and it was also my heaviest. Despite losing a good amount of weight I am not happy and have no pride, I'm still fat and thats all I see sadly. I don't want to be fat or skinny, I want to be muscular:big arms, built chest, flat stomach, no abs (don't like them) that sounds appealing, it's what I want. Unfourtunely I as of now can't work to this goal, I don't have money for a gym or equipment, famliy funds can't do it ethier and awhile ago I turned down a weight bench since I wasn't confident, now I regret that choice. I hate being fat so much, and this deep hatred and desperation has led to a embarassing cycle, for two years now I have been downloading images of muscular bodies. They're all drawings or from videogames since I'm to embarresed to have real images and as mentioned it's a cycle, Download and store -> have them and look at them for awhile -> get ashamed of myself -> purge it all -> regret -> repeat. Like stated this has been going for two years and as of now I have ten different images. Apart from weight I also have some other physical insecurites, acne being a big one. I been suffering from acne for years, fifth grade, early sixth grade is when it started so five years of this. It mostly effects my chin and cheeks badly but also effects more of my face, sometimes the acne hurts and it often even bleeds. I hate touching my face and feeling grime and ripping off a bunch of skin and dried shit. I wash every night and try to be frequent with morning witch-hazel but it dosen't relent. I also hate it when it gets mentioned, it is irratating to be reminded and noticed and nobody points it out more then my own mom who also cliams it would go if I just washed. I do, I fucking do! It's not working and you don't understand that! I also have body acne I don't know how to fix, I like sleeping shirtless which I know is the reason, also inconsistent with bedding which isn't right. Even if I did wash sheets weekly it wouldn't be enough, I would still get acne on my body. I just want to sleep shirtless and not get acne, I wish I could find a way. Another insecurite but not really is my height, I don't mind being 5'9/5'10 I mean it's about average height and I beat out my 5'4 father. But I'm sixteen which mean I still have possibilty to get taller and I wonder, will I? If I do, just how tall? Could I reach 6'0+? All of this speculation makes me a bit insecure, also with being fat I look short and round in the mirror which is defeating. I'm secure besides speculation and weight but at the same time I truly want to be taller, I think any man tall or short wishes they were taller, I wish I could break 6'0 that would be cool (to me). But I don't think that will ever happen, my dad is 5'4, my mom is 5'6 I made it 5'9/5'10 and my chart is stagnating, should just stop thinking I'll get taller. Another phsyical insecurite and likely the last one I'll mention unless I think of another worthwhile one is my hair, I'm insecurie of my hairstyle. Or lack of hairstyle, my mom says I have independence in this choice but whenever I make a choice she complains about it. Any agreement is one sided or changed up a little so she likes it. I have always hated my hairstyles over the years, even now and as of now it's ethier her way or a unorgainzied thick mess that will soon be her way. I hate it, wish I could make my own "independent" choice, even if I could my mom would likely hate it and always bring it up which is something I don't want to deal with. My mom is more for short cuts and fades etc, I hate fades and while I do admire short hair have always taken liking to shagger and longer styles, more rugged style. I have also always liked long hair and even wanted it. I used to openly want long hair for a long time but my mom opposed, I tried to convince her but she was opposed. She wasn't only opposed to it she made sure to express that it was gay and feminine etc, etc. She made me close off and forgot the desire but even now she won't let go. She is so sure to tell everyone: famliy, her friends, the hairdresser, hell maybe even strangers, she tells everyone about how much I wanted it and what she thought of it etc. Often I have been embarresed like this while I was right there, I have expressed that this embarreses me and want it to stop mutiple times yet she'll continue almost as if it's purposeful, she will also bring up an old friend T who had long hair as an example of it looking bad. But he didn't take care of it or do anything, most he would do is give into his moms begging and have her brush it. If I had long hair I would actually take care of it and do stuff to it! She also claims I got the idea from him, but no I liked it since elementary being inspired by personal inkling and rock. I no longer want hair but am starting to find styles I really like, but first I need to get my mom to fuck off. And second I would want to grow a beard, which is another issue of mine. I'm sixteen I shouldn't expect a full beard but I have seen peers with actual good facial hair, patchy beards, five o'clocks, some actually have a beard. Then there is me, with some sideburns and a bunch of peachfuzz, I want to be able to grow a beard and the peachfuzz plus sideburns bother me, I want it to actually devlop, I want a beard. I am also worried about devlopment, worried acne will hurt or even stop growth. I'm upset about my lack of growth though I definetly have unrealistic expectations. Lastly with hair is my chest hair, I'm quite hairy and I like it. And I have chest hair but barely and I just wish I had more over a greater coverage, more of a funny insecurite, lol. One more insecurity I forgot about is my voice. I'm loud when talking and my voice isn't as deep as I wish so that sucks.
(copy and paste from older write) I wish I had a father: I don't have a father or any form of father figure, I'm fatherless and it hurts a lot. My father has been out of my life since I was elevenish/twelveish (the peak of covid passed), we kicked him out because he is and was a meth addict in and out of the jail. He was a fuctioning addict so not violent and not as obvious of an addict but the meth still took him over. My mother says she kept him around and gave him so many chances because she wanted him to be in my life as a father. But he was no father when he was around, he didn't parent me, he didn't play his role as a father and guide as a masculine role model, hell he likely didn't even truly care for me. My only memories of him really are going to McDonold's with him, after which he dumpster dived behind the plaza as I begged for us to go back home. Or me wanting to bond with him so he sets up the brilliant idea of dragging me around with his skechy friends, to skechy places, even at skechy times. I don't understand why I knew sooner, guess I was a stupid basterd but I started picking up that my dad was a bad person around fifth grade. By then I quickly found out more and more and tenstion was growing, by eleven we we're going to kick him out but covid struck it's height and our household seemed palpable. But very quickly we said fuck it and threw him to the curb, we weren't going to have it no longer. Soon after around thirteen I was happy that he was gone but slightly disappointed that I no longer had a father (even if he was useless) and I hoped my mom would find someone, not only for herself but for me. By fourteen this really layed in heavy on me and the lack of a father really bummed me out, I got really stupid and desperate using bitlife to create guys then add me and my mom in to create step father famlies even adding step siblings and shit. By late fourteen it was made clear to me by my mom that "we don't need no man" and that she was done with dating. I very well do need a father figure, every child needs one. Hell I as a guy truly need(ed) one, there are so many lessons and things that come from a fatheson relationship that are crucial to a boy and I missed out on them. Hell even when my dad was around I missed out on lessons, I still remember he was tasked to teach me how to tie my shoes but got mad at me struggling and walked away. He refused to help afterward and I refused to try and never to this day learned the proper way to tie, instead I have my own far less efficent method. I missed out on so much by not having a father and it hurts to know that and I just wish I had the knowledge, without a masculine role model I have definetly missed out what it is to be a man and likely am even a loser of a man. I just want a father so badly, I want what a father provides so badly, I want the bond that it comes with. I wish I just had a guy to talk to and bond with, I want a dad just so badly. I wish I had someone who taught me how to change a tire or fish and all that shit, but I'll never have it and it angers me, I am angry to be fatherless, I am angry and lost without a father figure, and I'm jealous. I kind of want to have children when the time comes, I wonder if I'll fail them as well.
Friends: Growing up I was always a bit introverted, I think it was of my nature but was amplafied by life. In elementary I often acquainted myself with people never having any close friends outside my after school program. Jumping to middle school I had a good friend-group but it turned out my good friend T was really an ass and I was pushed out by him in early nineth grade. Later in nineth I met my good friend, my best friend M. This year in tenth I was introduced to a friend named D by M. These are my only two friends and I'm happy with them, though there are a few issues. Not anything major but just a few things, like how we never do anything outside of school. The only thing I really miss about my old friendgroup is that we actually did shit: springs, houses, events, parks, attractions, food. Now me, M and, D don't and have never done anything outside of school and the computer. M likely couldn't do anything because of his famliy and D just seems completely disinterested and worried about money. But I wish we could really do something, sure videogames are fun but it would be fun if we could just goof off somewhere, be stupid. This is really the only general "issue" apart from that no major strain or issue in the friendgroup. But I do have a few personal grievences, starting with D. I think D has a darker side of him, he seems to not respect or care for me and will sometimes show it in nasty ways. He had told both me and M to kill ourselves, he attacks insecurites, he says rude shit, etc. Also with D, we have never truly connected, never gotten to know each other personally. Without M we would be mere acquaintance, M is the only reason why me and D are friends and being alone with each other is mostly silence and maybe him showing me a TikTok. Then M, I have no personal issues with M only small factors of our friendship I'm upset or worried about. Starting off with is school, halfway through this year (tenth) M started a FLVS-hybrid. I am happy for him and it's something we both expressed wanting but now I never really see him. I could see him at lunch but he dosen't really come in and only other time I can see him is leaving campus. I ethier catch him and barely have a conversation worthwhile or he's to far ahead and I got to give up trying to reach him. The only way to talk to my best friend nowadays really is Discord, and that isn't even reliable since his parents are often controlling the WI-FI or taking his stuff away. This means when I do talk to my friend it can suddenly be ended as he disconnects or I can't even. This sucks, it feels like I can't even talk to my best friend that much. But that isn't all, because I'm worried for my friend M. His parents don't sound the best from all he's told me, I won't share his issues but just as an example he didn't have a bedroom for two months. Hearing what we gose through is alreadly dishearting but something that I worry deeply about is him talking sucide. He has talked and half joked about it several times and it's worry, I been trying to discourage but he continues with it so now I'm just trying to ignore it. That is likely the wrong way of handling it but I just don't know what to do. I hope it's always bluff and he moves out and moves on with he can, I don't want him to kill himself.
I'm lonely: I'm sixteen but I'm lonely. I am the only one of my friends who hasn't had a relationship, I am not the most worried about that, I don't want to date just to date, I want to date to love. But hell I still wish I had a relationship, even just a sterotypical high-school one. But what I truly want is true love, I want a woman I love with all my heart and a woman who loves me with all of hers, I want a woman to provide for, to protect, to matter to. I want to marry and possibly have kids. I want to love someone, be there for someone. But will I ever even have that? I'm alreadly a loser who no woman would want and even then from what I've heard, "modren dating is terrible" so what chance do I even have? Will I ever have someone to love? I hope.
School: School makes me so misereble and dead, this place makes me genuinely want to off myself I hate it so much. And it seems to revolve around my whole life, even at home it's all my mom wants to bring up. I just need a break from it all but it seems like it's the only thing in my life, I don't really have anything else. I failed my nineth grade year, I failed since I'm a stupid, worthless peice of shit. But they "passed" me onto tenth, gave me tenth grade classes, test, etc but say I'm still nineth, tell me do nineth grade "remedation" online. Now I'm failing like a worthless peice of shit once again! I wish they held me back to try again but they didn't they just pushed me on, still likely would've failed like a worthless bitch but I could have had a chance. I fucking hate myself I'm so stupid and I hate my school for pushing my stupid ass onward and onward, I should just kill myself at this point. And when I try to reach out to my counselor in any hope for some chance of help the piss poor communcation at this school means it'll take days for a response, I can't even get reliable help over school. Back in middle school I had a GPA in the high 3s, I made honor roll every other quater or so, I had high grades and sucess. But in high-school, in nineth grade I failed with straight Fs and got a GPA of 0.7, now in tenth I have a 1.7 and sometimes get high grades but mostly fail. I just wish I wasn't so stupid, I just wish I was smart and successful at school. But I'm not, I'm a fucking idiot and an embarssment at school. And maybe it would all be okay if it wasn't for the assholes I am surrounded by, my fellow peers of this overcrowded hell hole. Just seems like I can never catch a break with having to deal with people. I just want to be left alone but they're is just always somebody wanting to bother me, harass me. Can sit at a desk then have a bunch of cunts around me, harass me, call me burgundy because of my shirt. Can sit down and be snickered at by the guys in front of me for whatever reason. Sit down and have paper, pencils, even ice hitting me. Sit down and have some imbecible pull up a chair and use my desk as his and block me in my seat because fuck me, am I right? Just want to be left alone but never am, nobody ever dose it's always something. I can't even get respect, not a single bit, just always mistreated. Hell just the other day when I was given my packet I was also mistakenly given the packet of a nearby girl, I get her attention and hand it to her and she just snaches it and mumbles something, because I can't even be respected, I'm worthless. And even when I'm not being directly bothered I got to deal with slow walkers, idiots who don't know how to inconvience everyone else in the halls, the over crowded school. It all fucking sucks I hate it all, everyday I think I'm on the verge of snapping but somehow just have more patience, I don't know how much more of this shit I can or have to endure. At least my mom finally reconsidered my old forgotten pleads for online school and reopened the idea, maybe by some miracle online school will save me and "help me get caught up and ahead" but I doubt it, I'm an idiot who deserves to die. Why am I so fucking stupid, why am I like this? Why must I exist this way?
No hobbies or interest: I used to love a lot of things: reading, history, coming up with things in my head, videogames and, anything really. Now I have grown apathic to it all except videogames and even that dosen't bring much joy. I want to have my old hobbies back but lack the will to return. And I want new hobbies but yet lack will but also lacking knowing what I want to try. I'm lost with my freetime, it's all bleek and I want to fill my life with pastion. I still love videogames, always will but I need more then just gaming, I want more then gaming. I just want something, anything. I don't want to have such a lack of interest, God I fucking hate my life.
I have no future career goals: I'm sixteen and have no idea on what I want to do as an adult, some may say thats okay but it's not, not for me at least. I want to have a goal in the adult world, and even if that goal led to a path I don't like then I can always go down another path. Despite having no idea on what to do I at least know I don't want to be in an office. I could handle an office job, and be content with an office job but an office job isn't me, it isn't what sounds interesting, I would likely do blue collar or be my own boss. Some jobs I've considered and would do still are: police, SWAT police, house flipper, 911 operator, port worker, mechanic or something tinkeassemble like, enterpuner my book, film and games ideas or, open a store or bar or something. These are some jobs I've considered in the past that I would still see myself doing, I have also pondered over military/reserve but not sure. My childhood dream career that I still have a desire for is SWAT but I don't think I have what it takes, in fact I don't think I have what it takes for anything. I think all my life is destined to is dying homeless on a street corner, it's all I'll ever be "worthless".
I had so much planned, now failed: At age fourteen I planned to by now have a license, a job, a banking account, start savings. I planned to lose weight, I planned to have an idea outside of school, I had a plan. But I'm just a worthless peice of shit and a failure to myself, I don't even have a permit, no job, no savings, still fat, have no idea about the future, I failed myself.
Fidgeting: I can't stop but want to, at school I can't help but twiral a pencil around. I do it all the time at school but been trying to stop, I hate doing it. Worst part is I'm being immated by worthless cunts by it which is annoying. I want to stop this.
Masterbation addiction: I have a severe and low life addiction to masterbation. I do it at least once a day and sometimes mutiple times a day. The longest I was ever able to refrain was just a little over a week and only failed because I got bored. I need to jerk it to be able to sleep unless I'm desperately tired but even then. Also since I "need" it to sleep I regulary soil my sweatpants then sleep in it which is nasty. I can't control this vice, this low appetite and I'm deeply unhappy about it. Also unhappy that I might be ruining my endurence, a bit TMI but just another reason why this is harmful. I want to refrain or atleast drasticly cut out this pratice and fix myself.
I likely have more issues eating me inside as I waste away as a shell of a person but I can't really think of them. I am told my mom is looking into thearpy so that might be nice. Please just help me, I'm so lost and broken, I sometimes consider just ending it all but I just hope it can get good.
2024.05.13 18:52 sissyboisub333 Fun times with Daddy
It was a blistering hot and sunny summer day as I lay out on the back deck tanning myself while naked except for the tiny thong bikini bottoms that Daddy insisted I wear, he likes the tanlines they provide and anything Daddy wants he gets.
My skin was glistening from lotion and sweat as my hair free and slim body basked in the brilliant sunshine. Moments later I heard Daddy return from the gym, he and his friends had gotten together for some basketball and then he was going to jog the mile back to home where he would find me eagerly waiting.
As the sliding door opened I glanced at my Daddy and smiled, his muscular body glistening with sweat as he stripped off his tank top and shorts, remaining in his jock as he leered at me and grinned. No words were needed, I was too well trained for that and I slid onto my knees as Daddy approached, his black skin gloriously exposed to my ravenous eyes.
Daddy stopped right in front of me, towering over me as he grabbed my head and pulled my face straight into his still jock covered manhood, I moaned as I inhaled his manly musk, savoring the aroma of a real man as Daddy spread his legs apart and forced my face forward until my nose nestled between his balls and asshole. His sweaty scent now flooding my nostrils with deliciousness as I rubbed his thick muscular thighs. Mmmmmmmm!! GOD!! I love his musky scent and would have been content to stay there longer but knew I had other tasks to perform.
Pulling my face from between his legs I reached up and slowly pulled his jock down, a fresh wave of his aroma filling my senses as his glorious black cock popped up in front of my eyes, his large balls dangling beneath as I took a moment to press his jock over my nose and mouth to inhale his scent deeply once more before I cast it aside and scooted forward slightly.
I looked Daddy directly into his eyes as I wrapped my hand around his now semi hard cock, enjoying the feel as I stroked it gently while now leaning forward and licking his sack, swirling my tongue around it before gently sucking on his testicles, engulfing first one and then the other in my mouth as his meat grew rock hard on my hand. I pulled back to gaze at Daddy's giant cock, this BBC had transformed my life and every time I had the honor of pleasing this 9 inch monster I tried to savor every sensation and moment.
Daddy groaned, a sign he was growing impatient so I pressed the tip of his cock to my lips, darting my tongue along the slit before swirling it all over and around its fat head as Daddy now groaned in pleasure. His cock was at its thickest point now, my hand no longer able to close around it as I parted my lips and sucked in the first half of this majestic cock. My mouth stretched wide as my tongue bathed Daddy's fleshy delight, my head bobbing up and down its length, sucking it deeper and deeper, the shaft glistening with my saliva as Daddy grabbed my head firmly.
Experience told me what was coming next and I relaxed my throat completely as Daddy shoved every inch of his fat cock straight into my mouth and down my throat, holding it inside as I began to choke a bit, the thick member wedged down my throat with my lips stretched wide and my nosed pressed firmly against Daddy's pubic area.
Even though it was only seconds, it felt longer but Daddy soon wrenched his cock out of my throat, strands of spittle clung to it and my lips, connecting us together as Daddy now slapped his cock across my face, while saying "Thats right bitch! Choke on my cock you dirty slut.!"
The assault on my throat continued for 10 minutes or more, Daddy brutally fucking my throat, gagging me with his cock while calling me his faggot slut and bitch and to be quite honest I loved every minute of it. Daddy had long ago shown me that I was not an Alpha man at all, I was a subservient beta bitch whose place was at an Alphas beck and call, fulfilling all his wants and wishes no matter how kinky or extreme they may be. This was something I had been trained and groomed for by Daddy and I never disappointed him in any way.
Soon the throat fucking ended as Daddy pulled me up and pushed me over to the deck railing, bending me over it and yanking my bikini bottom off, my little clit dick hanging limply as Daddy reached between my cheeks and grabbed hold of the plug nestled between and yanked it out with an audible pop. My hole was left gaping and dripping with lube, having a 8 inch long and 6 inches around plug buried in my hole for hours tends to leave you gaping.
That of course was part of the plan for the day as we both knew how horny Daddy would be when he got home. Too horny to want to engage in any foreplay, he would want to fuck and I best be prepared properly. I gasped as Daddy pulled my hops back and spread my feet apart while lining his still saliva soaked cock up to my pouting boy pussy.
I groaned in need as he pressed the tip to my eager hole, savoring this moment of pleasure before screaming loudly as Daddy jammed all 9 of his fat thickness deep inside me in on brutal thrust. My legs twitched as I moaned and squealed loudly, loud enough for our neighbors to no doubt hear as Daddy continued hammering inside me. His cock balls deep and then pulled completely free before pounding back inside my boy pussy. The depth and ferocity of his thrusts causing my clitty to drip as Daddy now spanked and verbally abused me while relentlessly pounding into my guts.
"You fucking love this you dirty bitch whiteboi. You love being pounded by a real dick, by a big black dick don't you faggot?" "YES DADDY! YES!! I love being your dirty bitch Daddy! Fuck me Daddy please!"
Daddy continued pounding my hole, my ass burning with pleasure as he once again asserted his dominance over me. I was his slut, bitch, whore or any number of other words for a submissive bottom bitch boy and I loved every minute of it. Our bodies were dipping with sweat, the Sun beating down on us as Daddy enjoyed using my hole for his pleasure. It was easily 30 minutes or more of deep fucking before with one more mighty thrust, Daddy sank balls deep and groaned out loud as his cock swelled and emptied a torrent of cum into my greedy boipussy.
I moaned and my body twitched in pleasure as I was bred by my Daddy, his load of juice flooding my guts as I took pleasure in the knowledge that I had pleased him. I sighed and outed as Daddy slid his cock out, my hole left gaping and leaking as I spun around and licked Daddy's cock clean, my tongue bathing every inch, the taste of my ass and his cum quite intoxicating to me.
"You were such a good slut for Daddy little sweetie!" Daddy smiled at me and pulled me to my feet while stroking my ass. "Its time that we get you cleaned up, I invited some of the guys over for a cookout and they'll be here shortly. Can't have you looking like a cum soaked sweaty whore when they arrive."
I smiled and giggled as Daddy led me to the shower, my thoughts racing ahead to the cookout activities that would be occurring later. Afterall, this wasn't the first time Daddy and I had a "cookout" with his friends but thats a story for perhaps another day!!
submitted by sissyboisub333 to u/sissyboisub333 [link] [comments]
My skin was glistening from lotion and sweat as my hair free and slim body basked in the brilliant sunshine. Moments later I heard Daddy return from the gym, he and his friends had gotten together for some basketball and then he was going to jog the mile back to home where he would find me eagerly waiting.
As the sliding door opened I glanced at my Daddy and smiled, his muscular body glistening with sweat as he stripped off his tank top and shorts, remaining in his jock as he leered at me and grinned. No words were needed, I was too well trained for that and I slid onto my knees as Daddy approached, his black skin gloriously exposed to my ravenous eyes.
Daddy stopped right in front of me, towering over me as he grabbed my head and pulled my face straight into his still jock covered manhood, I moaned as I inhaled his manly musk, savoring the aroma of a real man as Daddy spread his legs apart and forced my face forward until my nose nestled between his balls and asshole. His sweaty scent now flooding my nostrils with deliciousness as I rubbed his thick muscular thighs. Mmmmmmmm!! GOD!! I love his musky scent and would have been content to stay there longer but knew I had other tasks to perform.
Pulling my face from between his legs I reached up and slowly pulled his jock down, a fresh wave of his aroma filling my senses as his glorious black cock popped up in front of my eyes, his large balls dangling beneath as I took a moment to press his jock over my nose and mouth to inhale his scent deeply once more before I cast it aside and scooted forward slightly.
I looked Daddy directly into his eyes as I wrapped my hand around his now semi hard cock, enjoying the feel as I stroked it gently while now leaning forward and licking his sack, swirling my tongue around it before gently sucking on his testicles, engulfing first one and then the other in my mouth as his meat grew rock hard on my hand. I pulled back to gaze at Daddy's giant cock, this BBC had transformed my life and every time I had the honor of pleasing this 9 inch monster I tried to savor every sensation and moment.
Daddy groaned, a sign he was growing impatient so I pressed the tip of his cock to my lips, darting my tongue along the slit before swirling it all over and around its fat head as Daddy now groaned in pleasure. His cock was at its thickest point now, my hand no longer able to close around it as I parted my lips and sucked in the first half of this majestic cock. My mouth stretched wide as my tongue bathed Daddy's fleshy delight, my head bobbing up and down its length, sucking it deeper and deeper, the shaft glistening with my saliva as Daddy grabbed my head firmly.
Experience told me what was coming next and I relaxed my throat completely as Daddy shoved every inch of his fat cock straight into my mouth and down my throat, holding it inside as I began to choke a bit, the thick member wedged down my throat with my lips stretched wide and my nosed pressed firmly against Daddy's pubic area.
Even though it was only seconds, it felt longer but Daddy soon wrenched his cock out of my throat, strands of spittle clung to it and my lips, connecting us together as Daddy now slapped his cock across my face, while saying "Thats right bitch! Choke on my cock you dirty slut.!"
The assault on my throat continued for 10 minutes or more, Daddy brutally fucking my throat, gagging me with his cock while calling me his faggot slut and bitch and to be quite honest I loved every minute of it. Daddy had long ago shown me that I was not an Alpha man at all, I was a subservient beta bitch whose place was at an Alphas beck and call, fulfilling all his wants and wishes no matter how kinky or extreme they may be. This was something I had been trained and groomed for by Daddy and I never disappointed him in any way.
Soon the throat fucking ended as Daddy pulled me up and pushed me over to the deck railing, bending me over it and yanking my bikini bottom off, my little clit dick hanging limply as Daddy reached between my cheeks and grabbed hold of the plug nestled between and yanked it out with an audible pop. My hole was left gaping and dripping with lube, having a 8 inch long and 6 inches around plug buried in my hole for hours tends to leave you gaping.
That of course was part of the plan for the day as we both knew how horny Daddy would be when he got home. Too horny to want to engage in any foreplay, he would want to fuck and I best be prepared properly. I gasped as Daddy pulled my hops back and spread my feet apart while lining his still saliva soaked cock up to my pouting boy pussy.
I groaned in need as he pressed the tip to my eager hole, savoring this moment of pleasure before screaming loudly as Daddy jammed all 9 of his fat thickness deep inside me in on brutal thrust. My legs twitched as I moaned and squealed loudly, loud enough for our neighbors to no doubt hear as Daddy continued hammering inside me. His cock balls deep and then pulled completely free before pounding back inside my boy pussy. The depth and ferocity of his thrusts causing my clitty to drip as Daddy now spanked and verbally abused me while relentlessly pounding into my guts.
"You fucking love this you dirty bitch whiteboi. You love being pounded by a real dick, by a big black dick don't you faggot?" "YES DADDY! YES!! I love being your dirty bitch Daddy! Fuck me Daddy please!"
Daddy continued pounding my hole, my ass burning with pleasure as he once again asserted his dominance over me. I was his slut, bitch, whore or any number of other words for a submissive bottom bitch boy and I loved every minute of it. Our bodies were dipping with sweat, the Sun beating down on us as Daddy enjoyed using my hole for his pleasure. It was easily 30 minutes or more of deep fucking before with one more mighty thrust, Daddy sank balls deep and groaned out loud as his cock swelled and emptied a torrent of cum into my greedy boipussy.
I moaned and my body twitched in pleasure as I was bred by my Daddy, his load of juice flooding my guts as I took pleasure in the knowledge that I had pleased him. I sighed and outed as Daddy slid his cock out, my hole left gaping and leaking as I spun around and licked Daddy's cock clean, my tongue bathing every inch, the taste of my ass and his cum quite intoxicating to me.
"You were such a good slut for Daddy little sweetie!" Daddy smiled at me and pulled me to my feet while stroking my ass. "Its time that we get you cleaned up, I invited some of the guys over for a cookout and they'll be here shortly. Can't have you looking like a cum soaked sweaty whore when they arrive."
I smiled and giggled as Daddy led me to the shower, my thoughts racing ahead to the cookout activities that would be occurring later. Afterall, this wasn't the first time Daddy and I had a "cookout" with his friends but thats a story for perhaps another day!!
2024.05.13 14:01 DeadHead2392 Help with LO
I just want some feedback to see if this is organized well. Any suggestions or feedback?
Cheat Room (XB1)
Armor and Weapon Keywords Comm...
[XB1] SimpleGreen - SimpleSeas...
Kill Tips and Hit Sounds by To...
NAT - Natural & Atmospheric Co...
Natural & Atmospheric Commonwe...
Louder Project Reality Footste...
(XB1) Skip Prewar Sanctuary
Skip Vault 111
Quality of Life: Custom ini
A Touch Of Life - Complete
BETTER SNEAKING by Draoga
Your S.P.E.C.I.A.L (XB1)
Blink Grenades (Teleportation)...
Bullet Time for Xbox One
No Crafting Animations
No Door Animations - Instant D...
Esk NoNightVision NightPersonP...
Assault Idle Option C By Onyma...
Outfit Switcher
Equipment and Crafting Overhau...
[XB1] Ultimate Jetpack Ring
[XB1] Destructible Doors & Gat...
Swimming Animations XB1
Running with Hands Animations...
Skip DIMA memories - Far Harbo...
Better Sound of Casing Touchin...
Tarkov-esque ADS Sound Replace AM
Clickerfied Ghouls
Clickerfied Ghouls - Idle Soun...
TTP's UI Sound Replacer - XB1
Simply Louder Weapons and Guns...
Companion and NPC's Face repla...
Vivid Fallout AIO 1K
More Vines
Visible Galaxy 4k
Dilapidated Roads - Charcoal
Sun Shadows in Real Time
Improved VATS Visual FX - NAC
Water LOD Fix
WET - Water Enhancement Textur...
HoloTime - HUD Clock Widget
HUDFramework
(Official) Caliente's Beautifu...
XB1] Ponytail Hairstyles by A....
[XHX MW 2019 Eastern Fireteam...
White Phosphor NVG/ High Tech ...
Gunner Operator CBBE
World Wide Mercenary Gear Pack...
FB Jewelry - Piercing
Western Operator
Bos Soldier Replacer
[Gic] Western Operator
Diamond City NATO Peacekeepers...
GiC's Western Operator - BoS S...
Darker Option - Pip-Boy
Pipboy FX Disabled
IMVR Regions and Grid (Darker)...
Pipboy ScreenClean®
Pip-Boy dual colors - Green Mu..
Remington 700 Revamp
Remington 700 Armory Project
Winchester Model 1897 Shotgun ...
Mk18 CQBR (XB1 Optimized)
MK18 Armory Project (XB1 Optim...
Modern Enhanced Optics Overlay...
See Through Scopes
NoRespawns - Junk Sanctuary Wa...
NoRespawns - Murkwater Constru...
NoRespawns - Red Rocket Truck...
Virgils LABORATORY Evil Lab Ov...
Sanctuary Old North Bridge Ove...
Diamond City- Improved and Exp...
Living Diamond City
Commonwealth Wilderness Overha...
GoodNeighbor Reborn
[XB1] Workshop Anywhere (Workb...
Cheat Terminal [Xbox One]
Project Apocalyptic Commonweal...
Another Pine Forest
Green in the Commonwealth XB1..
True Grass 'Lite'
CUTE Water Lite Version Less T...
[XB1] Pip-Boy Flashlight - Lar...
submitted by DeadHead2392 to Fallout4ModsXB1 [link] [comments]
Cheat Room (XB1)
Armor and Weapon Keywords Comm...
[XB1] SimpleGreen - SimpleSeas...
Kill Tips and Hit Sounds by To...
NAT - Natural & Atmospheric Co...
Natural & Atmospheric Commonwe...
Louder Project Reality Footste...
(XB1) Skip Prewar Sanctuary
Skip Vault 111
Quality of Life: Custom ini
A Touch Of Life - Complete
BETTER SNEAKING by Draoga
Your S.P.E.C.I.A.L (XB1)
Blink Grenades (Teleportation)...
Bullet Time for Xbox One
No Crafting Animations
No Door Animations - Instant D...
Esk NoNightVision NightPersonP...
Assault Idle Option C By Onyma...
Outfit Switcher
Equipment and Crafting Overhau...
[XB1] Ultimate Jetpack Ring
[XB1] Destructible Doors & Gat...
Swimming Animations XB1
Running with Hands Animations...
Skip DIMA memories - Far Harbo...
Better Sound of Casing Touchin...
Tarkov-esque ADS Sound Replace AM
Clickerfied Ghouls
Clickerfied Ghouls - Idle Soun...
TTP's UI Sound Replacer - XB1
Simply Louder Weapons and Guns...
Companion and NPC's Face repla...
Vivid Fallout AIO 1K
More Vines
Visible Galaxy 4k
Dilapidated Roads - Charcoal
Sun Shadows in Real Time
Improved VATS Visual FX - NAC
Water LOD Fix
WET - Water Enhancement Textur...
HoloTime - HUD Clock Widget
HUDFramework
(Official) Caliente's Beautifu...
XB1] Ponytail Hairstyles by A....
[XHX MW 2019 Eastern Fireteam...
White Phosphor NVG/ High Tech ...
Gunner Operator CBBE
World Wide Mercenary Gear Pack...
FB Jewelry - Piercing
Western Operator
Bos Soldier Replacer
[Gic] Western Operator
Diamond City NATO Peacekeepers...
GiC's Western Operator - BoS S...
Darker Option - Pip-Boy
Pipboy FX Disabled
IMVR Regions and Grid (Darker)...
Pipboy ScreenClean®
Pip-Boy dual colors - Green Mu..
Remington 700 Revamp
Remington 700 Armory Project
Winchester Model 1897 Shotgun ...
Mk18 CQBR (XB1 Optimized)
MK18 Armory Project (XB1 Optim...
Modern Enhanced Optics Overlay...
See Through Scopes
NoRespawns - Junk Sanctuary Wa...
NoRespawns - Murkwater Constru...
NoRespawns - Red Rocket Truck...
Virgils LABORATORY Evil Lab Ov...
Sanctuary Old North Bridge Ove...
Diamond City- Improved and Exp...
Living Diamond City
Commonwealth Wilderness Overha...
GoodNeighbor Reborn
[XB1] Workshop Anywhere (Workb...
Cheat Terminal [Xbox One]
Project Apocalyptic Commonweal...
Another Pine Forest
Green in the Commonwealth XB1..
True Grass 'Lite'
CUTE Water Lite Version Less T...
[XB1] Pip-Boy Flashlight - Lar...
2024.05.13 08:02 Uniglover FO4 crashes as soon as I enter Sanctuary, what mod combo is causing it?
Sorry for the dumb question, I’m really inexperienced when it comes to mods and typically just plug them into Vortex, use suggested compatibility fixes and be on my merry way, but there’s some (almost surely graphics mods) in my list crashing my game.
I’ve put an asterisk by the mods that would be causing problems as they’re newly downloaded and the game was fine without them.
I’m running:
Armoursmith Ext Attachment Pack Burst Impact Blast FX Dino’s Decor Enhanced Blood Textures Enhanced Lights and FX* Fallout Texture Overhaul PipBoy 4K* Filled Weapons Displays Homemaker Lots More Female Hairstyles OCDecorator Repairable Sanctuary Scrap Everything See Through Scopes Settlement Keywords Expanded SMM Start Me Up The Rebuild Collection resources* Ultra Interior Lighting* Unlimited Settlement Budget Vivid Fallout Complex Parallax Occlusion 4K* Vivid Fallout LOD Distance Detail 4K* WET Water Enhancement Textures* Vivid Fallout All In One 4K*
Yes, this is the first time using 4K texture packs and I’m thinking it may be the issue, but I run a Ryzen 7 7800X3D with a 4070 Ti Super and 64GB RAM. Are my mods secretly incompatible, or did I overestimate my PC?
submitted by Uniglover to FalloutMods [link] [comments]
I’ve put an asterisk by the mods that would be causing problems as they’re newly downloaded and the game was fine without them.
I’m running:
Armoursmith Ext Attachment Pack Burst Impact Blast FX Dino’s Decor Enhanced Blood Textures Enhanced Lights and FX* Fallout Texture Overhaul PipBoy 4K* Filled Weapons Displays Homemaker Lots More Female Hairstyles OCDecorator Repairable Sanctuary Scrap Everything See Through Scopes Settlement Keywords Expanded SMM Start Me Up The Rebuild Collection resources* Ultra Interior Lighting* Unlimited Settlement Budget Vivid Fallout Complex Parallax Occlusion 4K* Vivid Fallout LOD Distance Detail 4K* WET Water Enhancement Textures* Vivid Fallout All In One 4K*
Yes, this is the first time using 4K texture packs and I’m thinking it may be the issue, but I run a Ryzen 7 7800X3D with a 4070 Ti Super and 64GB RAM. Are my mods secretly incompatible, or did I overestimate my PC?
2024.05.13 07:05 suroorshiv I'm not angry my wife was involved in emotional cheating with a younger colleague but more of how she treated me with disrespect all these 10 years of marriage and did this !!
Please excuse my language as I'm an Indian and English is not my first language and also my wife's chat which sounds like a kindergarten kid wrote it
So I had this porn addiction which she discovered right after marriage. This caused a huge issue in my sex life as i was unable to satisfy her well.
She too lost interest in having sex with me and we tried to improve our marriage .
I told her how my childhood trauma due to abusive parents and bullying led to this, she started using this as a weapon .
She would treat me badly and whenever we had a fight she would pull this as a way to keep me quiet .
I was abused by my parents to an extent where I lost all my self confidence and lived alone with no friends so I just continued.
She would constantly check my mobile because she was afraid that i might revert back to addiction and she would read all my personal messages and even read the teams messages of my colleagues.
The one thing that really bothers me is that she would never show any interest if i suggest to do something but she would be ready if her family tells her .
The one thing that kept me alive during the abusive period of my parents were those story books and i always wanted to travel and exploring and eat new food.
But for her, weekends or vacation means going to her family and she will drag me along .
But she also forced me not to go anywhere. My colleagues invited me for a drink after work but she threw a big fit that she is struggling to raise my child but I'm enjoying.
I had to cancel an office getaway because she threw a huge fight over it , she even fought when I had to go to Chennai for a business trip but I had no chance of canceling.
Yes I turned to pornography, but I also had some other hobbies that kept me sane like watching EPL, reading books, trying new restaurants etc but she slowly but surely made me stop all these .
Now she has new friends and then only I understood something important .she wasn't close to her family but she just wants to enjoy with anyone who is not me .
Even going to the mall, she would complain she was tired etc but she went on a 3 day trek with her friends where she walked around 20 km.
Also she has this whole " feminist vibe" or something, if i tell her to do some household chores which is beyond what our maid or cook does, she sarcastically replies why she should do , why am I pushing it to her just because she is woman etc.
I just want to divorce but I'm afraid of my life post divorce and about my 2 children aged 7 and 3 .I don't want them to grow up in a broken house and also I'm not sure if she might end up showing the anger towards me to my kids.
I always contemplate suicide because I'm alone , friendless, unhappy family , bad in careers etc but I din’t know when I might .
Then I noticed something, she was very protective of her mobile . She would take it even to bathroom also while bathing . So one day i tried to open and i found that she had changed the passcode of the mobile without informing me.
.Post the birth of second child, she slimmed down and started wearing modern clothes. I’ve seen her pubic hair trimmer in bathroom many times even though we hardly have sex in the last one year
She had gone out with her friends ( both male and female) twice . First she went for a marriage but stayed in a resort a day before. The second time it was a company sponsored trek. I’m now thinking if she had cheated on me during those times. She didn't mention the word resort the first time and just told about the wedding . Second time she just mentioned company sponsored getaway for 3 days. But didn't tell they will be trekking and staying in tents at night. Now I'm confused if my wife cheated on me because she didn't completely divulged the information
I thought to use breaking into her mobile uldn't control myself so I tried to access her phone while sleeping but she woke up and shouted for frightening her.
I asked her to open the phone immediately and she gave after hesitation .i sent to insta and she had chatted with a guy but she said he approached her and after he started using words like dear she stopped responding.
I apologize and went to sleep. The next day she went to the office and i thought there was something wrong so when she came back I asked her to show me her mobile once more. She refused but I said I won't budge until she gives .
I saw that one boy was always next to her in all the photos so I checked his chats and i found everything I needed.
Here are some chats
Wife: And now I know you have crush on me.. so why to hurt your feelings by calling bro and all😂 3/21/24, 10:30 PM - Guy: When u did u know? 3/21/24, 10:30 PM - Wife: Yeahhh I do. Why not. I usually care about feelings a lot.. I don't like to hurt anyone 😊 3/21/24, 10:30 PM - Wife: You only told me once know then I got to know 3/21/24, 10:31 PM - Wife: Otherwise also the way you look at me only I can understand 😛 3/21/24, 10:32 PM - Guy: Seriously I looked at you like that 🫣🫣 3/21/24, 10:32 PM - Guy: Ohhh my 🙈🙈🥰🥰 3/21/24, 10:32 PM - Wife: Yeahhh you do sometimes 3/21/24, 10:32 PM - Wife: Not recently .. but yes you do sometimes 3/21/24, 10:33 PM - Guy: Tell me last time when I saw? 3/21/24, 10:33 PM - Wife: May be on women's day 3/21/24, 10:33 PM - Wife: On lunch day you didn't see like that 3/21/24, 10:34 PM - Guy: Yess .. 3/21/24, 10:34 PM - Guy: Party time right? 3/21/24, 10:34 PM - Wife: Yes. 3/21/24, 10:34 PM - Guy: U looking gorgeous 🤩😻 3/21/24, 10:35 PM - Wife: Telling now 😂 3/21/24, 10:35 PM - Wife: You didn't tell on that day 3/21/24, 10:35 PM - Guy: I told... In single word
9/25/23, 11:12 PM - MC: Yes really this night really very good day and sweet dreams 9/25/23, 11:13 PM - Wife: Is it ? What special happened today ? 9/25/23, 11:13 PM - MC: Bcoz I saw one angel, I think she directly came from Indra lokha 😍 9/25/23, 11:15 PM - MC: Every time she looking aged.. but today those words are all false 9/25/23, 11:15 PM - Wife: Ohhhh... don't dream about that girl Okay 9/25/23, 11:16 PM - MC: Y is not good ? 9/25/23, 11:16 PM - Wife: Hmmmm good question. I guess you can. 9/25/23, 11:17 PM - MC: So I can dream right? 9/25/23, 11:17 PM - Wife: Yeahhh y not... dreaming is your choice na. No one can steal it and no one can question it 9/25/23, 11:18 PM - Wife: She looked aged everytime is it 😳 9/25/23, 11:19 PM - MC: Okay thanks 😍... but here you have the right to ask question 9/25/23, 11:19 PM - Wife: Out of all dresses, Which outfit looked good tell me now. 9/25/23, 11:19 PM - Wife: I will not question you
😁10/19/23, 9:42 PM - MC: U r the important to me naa 😍 10/19/23, 9:42 PM - Wife: For me nothing special 10/19/23, 9:42 PM - Wife: Hahahaha. . am I? 10/19/23, 9:42 PM - MC: Okay will see tomorrow 10/19/23, 9:42 PM - MC: Haa u only 10/19/23, 9:43 PM - Wife: Don't fall for me MC 😉😁 10/19/23, 9:43 PM - MC: Y u will fall for me naaa😅 10/19/23, 9:44 PM - Wife: Hahahaha 10/19/23, 9:44 PM - Wife: We are good as friends only 😊 10/19/23, 9:45 PM - MC: Hey hey I'm chatting casually Wife 10/19/23, 9:45 PM - MC: Don't mind 10/19/23, 9:45 PM - MC: We r frnds 10/19/23, 9:46 PM - MC: Don't overthinking yaaa 10/19/23, 9:46 PM - Wife: I knowwwww 10/19/23, 9:46 PM - Wife: No over thinking ok11/23/23, 4:14 PM - MC: Don't angry and don't think wrong abt me 😊 11/23/23, 4:14 PM - MC: I feel some good(romantic) vibes when u r with me I mean close to with me 11/23/23, 4:14 PM - MC: Touching 😊😊 11/23/23, 4:17 PM - Wife: Hahaha.. yeah I feel good to have a friend like you MC.. 11/23/23, 4:17 PM - Wife: 😊 I confronted my wife with those whatsapp chats. It led to a huge fight where she was telling the following things to defend me and that colleague.-
He is young and she felt him like some kind of puppy love exhibited by a high school student towards his school teacher He has gfs and roams with multiple people so she doesnt think he was serious when he was flirting and giving compliments She always stopped him when he tried to go overboard They chat at the frequency of once a week not more. Most importantly, if she had feelings for him. their chats would have a different turn and she might have ended up in physical.
She had also chatted about an fling she had before our marriage and how she met him once after our marriage got fixed, gave him a final hug and left. She had never told me in 10 years of marriage
For 2 hrs she defended this guy over me and i attempted suicide. So the next day her sister came to mediate . I told the following
Whenever he steps over the compliments, why is she not stern in warning him but giving simple statements like ""u r young"," im married " etc- Do the words he used constitute sexual harassment in the corporate culture? Why has she discussed things with him about certain college crushes she never discussed with me? Why she has never explicitly denied whenever he gave her options to hang out Cheating happens step by step and she is currently in the 20th of the 100 steps maybe. He just needs a place and time and maybe some alcohol to get that. Why should she defend herself so much instead of admitting her mistakes . I also pointed out these chats that he is already planning for the next steps. Calling her for a midnight bike ride
10/27/23, 9:57 AM - Wife: In mid night and all... interesting 10/27/23, 9:58 AM - Wife: I'm feeling something more 10/27/23, 9:58 AM - MC: Wt u feeling more? 10/27/23, 9:58 AM - MC: Tell me 10/27/23, 9:58 AM - MC: So we can also go one day. Come to Priya home . I'll also come 10/27/23, 10:00 AM - Wife: I don't have that much luxury to roam around in midnight 😞 10/27/23, 10:00 AM - Wife: Yeahh may be she likes you 10/27/23, 10:01 AM - MC: Yes As a frnd 10/27/23, 10:01 AM - MC: No we can plan 10/27/23, 10:01 AM - MC: We can meet Priyas home.. one day 10/27/23, 10:03 AM - Wife: Hmmm okay nice 10/27/23, 10:03 AM - Wife: Will see .Calling for a private party with alcohol
2/21/24, 10:33 PM - Wife: Yup. Women friends are best 2/21/24, 10:33 PM - Wife: Yeah 2/21/24, 10:34 PM - MC: Yes 2/21/24, 10:34 PM - MC: We also go for party 2/21/24, 10:34 PM - MC: We 3 2/21/24, 10:34 PM - MC: If u and my sis fine 2/21/24, 10:34 PM - Wife: Yup will do 2/21/24, 10:34 PM - MC: Drink dance 🎵 2/21/24, 10:34 PM - Wife: Dance is must 😒😂😂 2/21/24, 10:35 PM - Wife: We danced today too 2/21/24, 10:35 PM - MC: But place we have to find 2/21/24, 10:35 PM - MC: Secret place 2/21/24, 10:35 PM - MC: No one will disturb 2/21/24, 10:35 PM - MC: Ohhh nice yar
Here sis is another older married colleague he calls as sis who is Priya in the previous conversation.
Her sisters also joined in and said his behavior doesn’t seem alright but she said she didnt want to lose friendship over some of his stupid comments . They gave him a good scolding and she now has understood the gravity of the situation. She has promised not to chat with him anymore.
She also apologized for all the troubles she caused for 10 years and will try to change. I too promised to get therapy for ED and develop intimacy better . Now her sisters also know her emotional cheating.
So now we have a clean slate to start our relationship when she wont bring my porn addiction and I wont bring her chatting.
Next day i asked her about that fling, she said it was just a crush and it happened before i met her and she cannot tell it because we had agreed to drop everything as per pact. I said I need closure, she said we didn't do sex or anything and there is nothing to talk about
But now i don't know if she had cheated on me physically as well. I didn't find any evidence of trying to organize any meeting or any photos or videos of sexual nature .
I'm not angry that she cheated but how she gaslighted me all these days by using all my insecurity, making me feel that she is suffering under this marriage and always ruining my aspirations and hobbies.
All i Want from her is respect, nothing else. I want her to treat me like a husband and not some guy at home. She says she needs love but she doesn't know I tried my best to provide but I got out away because of her behaviour.
Is that tooo much to ask for ?
submitted by suroorshiv to SupportforBetrayed [link] [comments]
So I had this porn addiction which she discovered right after marriage. This caused a huge issue in my sex life as i was unable to satisfy her well.
She too lost interest in having sex with me and we tried to improve our marriage .
I told her how my childhood trauma due to abusive parents and bullying led to this, she started using this as a weapon .
She would treat me badly and whenever we had a fight she would pull this as a way to keep me quiet .
I was abused by my parents to an extent where I lost all my self confidence and lived alone with no friends so I just continued.
She would constantly check my mobile because she was afraid that i might revert back to addiction and she would read all my personal messages and even read the teams messages of my colleagues.
The one thing that really bothers me is that she would never show any interest if i suggest to do something but she would be ready if her family tells her .
The one thing that kept me alive during the abusive period of my parents were those story books and i always wanted to travel and exploring and eat new food.
But for her, weekends or vacation means going to her family and she will drag me along .
But she also forced me not to go anywhere. My colleagues invited me for a drink after work but she threw a big fit that she is struggling to raise my child but I'm enjoying.
I had to cancel an office getaway because she threw a huge fight over it , she even fought when I had to go to Chennai for a business trip but I had no chance of canceling.
Yes I turned to pornography, but I also had some other hobbies that kept me sane like watching EPL, reading books, trying new restaurants etc but she slowly but surely made me stop all these .
Now she has new friends and then only I understood something important .she wasn't close to her family but she just wants to enjoy with anyone who is not me .
Even going to the mall, she would complain she was tired etc but she went on a 3 day trek with her friends where she walked around 20 km.
Also she has this whole " feminist vibe" or something, if i tell her to do some household chores which is beyond what our maid or cook does, she sarcastically replies why she should do , why am I pushing it to her just because she is woman etc.
I just want to divorce but I'm afraid of my life post divorce and about my 2 children aged 7 and 3 .I don't want them to grow up in a broken house and also I'm not sure if she might end up showing the anger towards me to my kids.
I always contemplate suicide because I'm alone , friendless, unhappy family , bad in careers etc but I din’t know when I might .
Then I noticed something, she was very protective of her mobile . She would take it even to bathroom also while bathing . So one day i tried to open and i found that she had changed the passcode of the mobile without informing me.
.Post the birth of second child, she slimmed down and started wearing modern clothes. I’ve seen her pubic hair trimmer in bathroom many times even though we hardly have sex in the last one year
She had gone out with her friends ( both male and female) twice . First she went for a marriage but stayed in a resort a day before. The second time it was a company sponsored trek. I’m now thinking if she had cheated on me during those times. She didn't mention the word resort the first time and just told about the wedding . Second time she just mentioned company sponsored getaway for 3 days. But didn't tell they will be trekking and staying in tents at night. Now I'm confused if my wife cheated on me because she didn't completely divulged the information
I thought to use breaking into her mobile uldn't control myself so I tried to access her phone while sleeping but she woke up and shouted for frightening her.
I asked her to open the phone immediately and she gave after hesitation .i sent to insta and she had chatted with a guy but she said he approached her and after he started using words like dear she stopped responding.
I apologize and went to sleep. The next day she went to the office and i thought there was something wrong so when she came back I asked her to show me her mobile once more. She refused but I said I won't budge until she gives .
I saw that one boy was always next to her in all the photos so I checked his chats and i found everything I needed.
Here are some chats
Wife: And now I know you have crush on me.. so why to hurt your feelings by calling bro and all😂 3/21/24, 10:30 PM - Guy: When u did u know? 3/21/24, 10:30 PM - Wife: Yeahhh I do. Why not. I usually care about feelings a lot.. I don't like to hurt anyone 😊 3/21/24, 10:30 PM - Wife: You only told me once know then I got to know 3/21/24, 10:31 PM - Wife: Otherwise also the way you look at me only I can understand 😛 3/21/24, 10:32 PM - Guy: Seriously I looked at you like that 🫣🫣 3/21/24, 10:32 PM - Guy: Ohhh my 🙈🙈🥰🥰 3/21/24, 10:32 PM - Wife: Yeahhh you do sometimes 3/21/24, 10:32 PM - Wife: Not recently .. but yes you do sometimes 3/21/24, 10:33 PM - Guy: Tell me last time when I saw? 3/21/24, 10:33 PM - Wife: May be on women's day 3/21/24, 10:33 PM - Wife: On lunch day you didn't see like that 3/21/24, 10:34 PM - Guy: Yess .. 3/21/24, 10:34 PM - Guy: Party time right? 3/21/24, 10:34 PM - Wife: Yes. 3/21/24, 10:34 PM - Guy: U looking gorgeous 🤩😻 3/21/24, 10:35 PM - Wife: Telling now 😂 3/21/24, 10:35 PM - Wife: You didn't tell on that day 3/21/24, 10:35 PM - Guy: I told... In single word
9/25/23, 11:12 PM - MC: Yes really this night really very good day and sweet dreams 9/25/23, 11:13 PM - Wife: Is it ? What special happened today ? 9/25/23, 11:13 PM - MC: Bcoz I saw one angel, I think she directly came from Indra lokha 😍 9/25/23, 11:15 PM - MC: Every time she looking aged.. but today those words are all false 9/25/23, 11:15 PM - Wife: Ohhhh... don't dream about that girl Okay 9/25/23, 11:16 PM - MC: Y is not good ? 9/25/23, 11:16 PM - Wife: Hmmmm good question. I guess you can. 9/25/23, 11:17 PM - MC: So I can dream right? 9/25/23, 11:17 PM - Wife: Yeahhh y not... dreaming is your choice na. No one can steal it and no one can question it 9/25/23, 11:18 PM - Wife: She looked aged everytime is it 😳 9/25/23, 11:19 PM - MC: Okay thanks 😍... but here you have the right to ask question 9/25/23, 11:19 PM - Wife: Out of all dresses, Which outfit looked good tell me now. 9/25/23, 11:19 PM - Wife: I will not question you
😁10/19/23, 9:42 PM - MC: U r the important to me naa 😍 10/19/23, 9:42 PM - Wife: For me nothing special 10/19/23, 9:42 PM - Wife: Hahahaha. . am I? 10/19/23, 9:42 PM - MC: Okay will see tomorrow 10/19/23, 9:42 PM - MC: Haa u only 10/19/23, 9:43 PM - Wife: Don't fall for me MC 😉😁 10/19/23, 9:43 PM - MC: Y u will fall for me naaa😅 10/19/23, 9:44 PM - Wife: Hahahaha 10/19/23, 9:44 PM - Wife: We are good as friends only 😊 10/19/23, 9:45 PM - MC: Hey hey I'm chatting casually Wife 10/19/23, 9:45 PM - MC: Don't mind 10/19/23, 9:45 PM - MC: We r frnds 10/19/23, 9:46 PM - MC: Don't overthinking yaaa 10/19/23, 9:46 PM - Wife: I knowwwww 10/19/23, 9:46 PM - Wife: No over thinking ok11/23/23, 4:14 PM - MC: Don't angry and don't think wrong abt me 😊 11/23/23, 4:14 PM - MC: I feel some good(romantic) vibes when u r with me I mean close to with me
He is young and she felt him like some kind of puppy love exhibited by a high school student towards his school teacher He has gfs and roams with multiple people so she doesnt think he was serious when he was flirting and giving compliments She always stopped him when he tried to go overboard They chat at the frequency of once a week not more. Most importantly, if she had feelings for him. their chats would have a different turn and she might have ended up in physical.
She had also chatted about an fling she had before our marriage and how she met him once after our marriage got fixed, gave him a final hug and left. She had never told me in 10 years of marriage
For 2 hrs she defended this guy over me and i attempted suicide. So the next day her sister came to mediate . I told the following
Whenever he steps over the compliments, why is she not stern in warning him but giving simple statements like ""u r young"," im married " etc- Do the words he used constitute sexual harassment in the corporate culture? Why has she discussed things with him about certain college crushes she never discussed with me? Why she has never explicitly denied whenever he gave her options to hang out Cheating happens step by step and she is currently in the 20th of the 100 steps maybe. He just needs a place and time and maybe some alcohol to get that. Why should she defend herself so much instead of admitting her mistakes . I also pointed out these chats that he is already planning for the next steps. Calling her for a midnight bike ride
10/27/23, 9:57 AM - Wife: In mid night and all... interesting 10/27/23, 9:58 AM - Wife: I'm feeling something more 10/27/23, 9:58 AM - MC: Wt u feeling more? 10/27/23, 9:58 AM - MC: Tell me 10/27/23, 9:58 AM - MC: So we can also go one day. Come to Priya home . I'll also come 10/27/23, 10:00 AM - Wife: I don't have that much luxury to roam around in midnight 😞 10/27/23, 10:00 AM - Wife: Yeahh may be she likes you 10/27/23, 10:01 AM - MC: Yes As a frnd 10/27/23, 10:01 AM - MC: No we can plan 10/27/23, 10:01 AM - MC: We can meet Priyas home.. one day 10/27/23, 10:03 AM - Wife: Hmmm okay nice 10/27/23, 10:03 AM - Wife: Will see .Calling for a private party with alcohol
2/21/24, 10:33 PM - Wife: Yup. Women friends are best 2/21/24, 10:33 PM - Wife: Yeah 2/21/24, 10:34 PM - MC: Yes 2/21/24, 10:34 PM - MC: We also go for party 2/21/24, 10:34 PM - MC: We 3 2/21/24, 10:34 PM - MC: If u and my sis fine 2/21/24, 10:34 PM - Wife: Yup will do 2/21/24, 10:34 PM - MC: Drink dance 🎵 2/21/24, 10:34 PM - Wife: Dance is must 😒😂😂 2/21/24, 10:35 PM - Wife: We danced today too 2/21/24, 10:35 PM - MC: But place we have to find 2/21/24, 10:35 PM - MC: Secret place 2/21/24, 10:35 PM - MC: No one will disturb 2/21/24, 10:35 PM - MC: Ohhh nice yar
Here sis is another older married colleague he calls as sis who is Priya in the previous conversation.
Her sisters also joined in and said his behavior doesn’t seem alright but she said she didnt want to lose friendship over some of his stupid comments . They gave him a good scolding and she now has understood the gravity of the situation. She has promised not to chat with him anymore.
She also apologized for all the troubles she caused for 10 years and will try to change. I too promised to get therapy for ED and develop intimacy better . Now her sisters also know her emotional cheating.
So now we have a clean slate to start our relationship when she wont bring my porn addiction and I wont bring her chatting.
Next day i asked her about that fling, she said it was just a crush and it happened before i met her and she cannot tell it because we had agreed to drop everything as per pact. I said I need closure, she said we didn't do sex or anything and there is nothing to talk about
But now i don't know if she had cheated on me physically as well. I didn't find any evidence of trying to organize any meeting or any photos or videos of sexual nature .
I'm not angry that she cheated but how she gaslighted me all these days by using all my insecurity, making me feel that she is suffering under this marriage and always ruining my aspirations and hobbies.
All i Want from her is respect, nothing else. I want her to treat me like a husband and not some guy at home. She says she needs love but she doesn't know I tried my best to provide but I got out away because of her behaviour.
Is that tooo much to ask for ?
2024.05.13 05:36 brokensaint82 Issues with graphical glitches in FO4
 | submitted by brokensaint82 to Fallout4Mods [link] [comments] I keep getting this and random textures popping into places Here is the load order: Fallout4.esm DLCRobot.esm DLCworkshop01.esm DLCCoast.esm DLCworkshop02.esm DLCworkshop03.esm DLCNukaWorld.esm ccBGSFO4044-HellfirePowerArmor.esl ccBGSFO4115-X02.esl ccBGSFO4116-HeavyFlamer.esl ccBGSFO4110-WS_Enclave.esl ccBGSFO4096-AS_Enclave.esl ccFSVFO4007-Halloween.esl ccBGSFO4046-TesCan.esl ccSBJFO4003-Grenade.esl ccOTMFO4001-Remnants.esl Unofficial Fallout 4 Patch.esp ArmorKeywords.esm WorkshopFramework.esm Homemaker.esm MutantMenagerie.esm SS2.esm SS2_XPAC_Chapter2.esm SS2_XPAC_Chapter3.esm CWPointLookoutFO4.esm MutantMenagerie_BackwaterBeasts.esm MutantMenagerie_GrilledTurkey.esm CanarySaveFileMonitor.esl CWPointLookoutFO4Patch.esl TacticalReload.esm M84FlashBang.esl TrueStormsFO4.esm NCRArmourPack.esl four_play_resources.esm Wetness Shader Fix.esp NoSharedDogmeatTemplate.esp ImmersiveGenericDialogues.esp PiperCaitCurieDialogueOverhaul.esp RepairSanctuary.esp Armorsmith Extended.esp Melee Replacer.esp Rebuild_Settlements.esp ThisIsTrash.esp LootableCrates.esp SS2Extended.esp WeightlessMods.esp clothingoverhaul.esp MojaveImports.esp SuperMutantRedux.esp ImmersiveAnimationFramework.esp SuperMutantRedux_AE-WSE-VIS-G-Insanity_AIO_Patch.esp WeightlessAid.esp FirstPersonMessagesMerged.esp MAIM Distributor.esp MAIM 2.esp ReducedJunkWeight.esp Stm_DiamondCityExpansion.esp Rebuild_Settlements_Previs.esp CrimeTown.esp HAIA With Crafting.esp Reverb and Ambiance Overhaul.esp Vivid Weathers - FO4.esp Vivid Weathers - FO4 - Quest.esp InstituteSettlements2.esp CombinedArmsNV.esp CombinedArmsEXPack.esp W.A.T.Minutemen.esp CheatTerminal.esp DT_GunnerOutfitPack.esp DTG_LeveledListIntegration.esp Eli_Armour_Compendium.esp BR77.esp XM2010_SniperRifle_by_tooun.esp 1CAS_ServiceRifle.esp SS2-PraRandomAddon.esp M2Agency.esp SS2-Jampads2.esp ImiUzi.esp Crossbow.esp Glock19x.esp KrissVector.esp BOCWNailGun.esp DoubleBarrelReloadRedoneTR.esp USP .45_by_tooun.esp SV-98.esp 9mmPistol.esp 3dscopes-replacer.esp four_play.esp MK18.esp Rangergearnew.esp LString_Bow.esp M1Garand.esp m2045magnumrevolverrifle.esp [SS2 Addon] SimSettlements SuperStructures.esp FO4 NPCs Travel.esp DX_Black_Widow.esp SteyrAUGnv.esp AKMnv.esp SanctFixedBridge.esp ElMudoStore.esp HuntingShotgun.esp DOOMThatGun.esp WinCowbowRepeater.esp MP7.esp HuntingRevolver.esp HK_MP5.esp GIAT_FAMAS.esp G36Complex.esp HK_UMP.esp M1918A2.esp AmmoCounterFramework.esp M1918A2_ACF.esp M1918A2_TR.esp PMC Operators Pack.esp WestTekTacticalOptics.esp TAC.esp K9TacticalHarness.esp GCM.esp Homemaker - Unlocked Institute Objects.esp SS2-PraRandomAddon-FIS.esp SS2-PraRandomAddon-LWIS.esp SS2-PraRandomAddon-VIS.esp SS2-PraRandomAddon-VISG.esp SS2AOP_VaultTecTools.esp ohSIM_Sim2_Settlements_Scrappers_Addon.esp Dongs_Of_Fallout.esp HRP_Mk23.esp AX50.esp L96A1.esp Factor.esp OMEGA - MutantMenagerieFH IAF Patch.esp ClothingOverhaulSP_XB1_PC.esp SuperMutantRedux_ArmorSmithExtended.esp classicghoulrace.esp BetterSettlers.esp AdvSettleTurretSet.esp Passthrough.esp WeightlessSpecialAmmo.esp MutantMenagerie_Scripts.esp D.E.C.A.Y.esp REAPER.esp SS2WastelandReconstructionKit.esp SS2_CityPlanPack_RiseOfTheCommonwealth.esp Vault-Tec Armor Redux - Modular Expansion & Fixes.esp rb_hairtonesredux.esp TrueStormsFO4-FarHarbor.esp Vivid Weathers - FO4 - Far Harbor.esp Vivid Weathers - Nuka World.esp VividFallout - AiO - BestChoice.esp Radiant Clouds and Fogs.esp Glowing Animals Emit Light.esp FAR.esp TrueGrass.esp CustomThirdrail_v2.esp dD-Enhanced Blood Basic.esp LongRangeBulletHoles.esp InstitutePowerArmor.esp Special Ops Goggles.esp Multiple Floors Sandboxing.esp Defective_Synth.esp Desert Punk Raiders.esp Synth Overhaul.esp Synth Overhaul - Black Patch.esp Synth Overhaul - No level requirements Patch.esp SuperMutantRedux_VIS-G_Patch.esp SuperMutantRedux_WeaponsmithExtended_Patch.esp Project Reality Footsteps FO4.esp Realistic Miniguns.esp JSSynths.esp KSHairdos.esp EveryonesBestFriend.esp LongerPowerLines3x.esp Scopes.esp Lots More Male Hairstyles.esp Lots More Facial Hair.esp PD_LowerWeapon.esp PA-Quick Animations.esp AzarPonytailHairstyles.esp LovingCait.esp BetterCompanions.esp EasyLockpicking.esp LovingPiper.esp rb_decayedarmyfatiguesfix.esp Insignificant Object Remover.esp SettlementMenuManager.esp RealNameSettlers.esp BetterSettlersMortalPack.esp BetterSettlersNoLollygagging.esp Nexus_PMC.esp PMC_extended.esp AKMnv_TacticalReloadPatch.esp AX50_TacticalReloadPatch.esp G36Complex_TacticalReloadPatch.esp Glock19x_TacticalReloadPatch.esp HK_MP5_TacticalReloadPatch.esp HK_UMP_TacticalReloadPatch.esp ImiUzi_TacticalReloadPatch.esp KrissVector_TacticalReloadPatch.esp M1Garand_TacticalReloadPatch.esp MK18_TacticalReloadPatch.esp MP7_TacticalReloadPatch.esp SV-98_TacticalReloadPatch.esp SteyrAUGnv_TacticalReloadPatch.esp TacticalReloadDLC.esp TacticalReloadVanilla.esp AWKCR - Mod Power Armor Engine Glitch Fix.esp More Power Armour Mods.esp Consistent Power Armor Overhaul.esp Brotherhood Power Armor Overhaul.esp PAMAP.esp More Power Armour Mods - Automatron.esp AnS Wearable Backpacks and Pouches.esp AnS Wearable Backpacks and Pouches - Power Armor Carry Capacity.esp AnS Wearable Backpacks and Pouches - AWKCR Power Armor.esp WorkshopPlus.esp AnimatedRadaway.esp RussianStimpack.esp Stimpaks help you breathe.esp CompanionAccuracy.esp LetMeUseThat.esp Realistic_conversations.esp UGO_PlayerModule.esp AnimatedIngestibles.esp Fatigue.esp ImmersiveVendors.esp Live Dismemberment - Brutal.esp Live Dismemberment - Insane-o.esp Live Dismemberment - Liebermode.esp Live Dismemberment - Mental.esp Live Dismemberment - Mind-Blowing.esp Live Dismemberment - POSTAL.esp Live Dismemberment - Regular.esp MAIM 2 - Dismemberment Patch.esp MAIM 2 - Russian Stimpak Patch.esp MAIM 2 - Stimpaks Help You Breathe Patch.esp Clean Pause Menu.esp FIS-Naming-Weap-Armo-EN.esp M8rDisablePipboyEffects.esp CROSS_CryoLance.esp BF1 Animations - Double Barrel Shotgun v2.3.esp Binoculars.esp ACR-W17.esp FO4LaserBolts.esp fn five-seven v3.0.esp 3dscopes-replacer-aug.esp 3dscopes-replacer-crossbow.esp 3dscopes-replacer-sv98.esp 3dscopes-wmsr.esp IAF - Far Harbor & Nuka World.esp AnS Wearable Backpacks and Pouches - Ballistic Weave.esp AnS Wearable Backpacks and Pouches - No Crafting Perks.esp AnS Wearable Backpacks and Pouches - AWKCR.esp VeryRichMerchants.esp CBBE.esp M1Garand - AWKCR-VIS-VW.esp M1Garand-1.5xDMG.esp BetterSettlersCCAPack2.0.esp Chem Lab Restoration Project - AWKCR AE CW.esp TrueStormsFO4-EarlierSunsets.esp TrueStormsFO4-EarlierSunsetsFH.esp TrueStormsFO4-FarHarborExtraRads.esp TrueStormsFO4-GlowingSeaExtraRads.esp CROSS_GoreCrits.esp CROSS_GoreCrits_FarHarborPatch.esp OMEGA - MutantMenagerie IAF Patch.esp MG42.esp dD-Realistic Ragdoll Force.esp RNS-WSFW-CompPatch.esp SS2-Jampads2_ImportsPatch.esp SS2_XDI Patch.esp move that workbench!.esp [MW2R] Shadow Company.esp BetterNightVision.esp DarkerNights.esp DarkerNightsDetection.esp EnhancedLightsandFX.esp Scrap Everything - Ultimate Edition.esp Pip-Boy Flashlight.esp SatelliteWorldMap.esp WorkshopFramework_ScriptOverride.esp |
2024.05.13 04:39 StarLotus7 I made a Pinterest board for every decade, from the 1890s to the 2020s!
Over the course of these last few months, I created a Pinterest board for every decade! I did all of that to visualize better each decade, organizing and laying down their visuals, aesthetics, themes, vibes, moods, and cultural characteristics, summarizing an entire decade in a set of images. So without more stalling, here's every Pinterest board that I made for every decade:
https://pinterest.com/StarLotusHere/1890s/
Also known as "The Gay Nineties" ("gay" meaning happy or joyous at the time), it was a part of the "Belle Époque" (1871-1914), the Gilded Age (circa 1870-1900), and the last decade of the Victorian Era (1837-1901) and the 19th Century. It's the first decade in history to have an identity compared to previous times, one of rapid technological advancement, such as the invention of film and cars. A time of Top Hats, big puffy sleeves, Gibson Girls, Art Nouveau, Ragtime, and carriages.
https://pinterest.com/StarLotusHere/1900s/
Queen Victoria died in 1901, ushering the Edwardian Era (1901-1910). Puffy sleeves fell out of style, but the Gibson Girl look persists. Ladies hats got bigger and the S-bend corset got popular. Cars, also known at the time as "horseless carriages", were slowly seeping in with the upper classes. Other than that, the 1900s were basically a continuation of the 1890s, with similar aesthetics, music, and styles.
https://pinterest.com/StarLotusHere/1910s/
For the time, it was a decade of massive transformations. During the later half, "the Great War" came around, as well as the Spanish Flu. A large number of men went to the battlefields and trenches, women needed to occupy male jobs, new war tech was developing, and propaganda became repent. Throughout the 1910s, cars became more widespread, the airplane was invented, the Radio was slowly rising, and fashion became less uptight and more relaxed compared to the past.
https://pinterest.com/StarLotusHere/1920s/
As the Great War and Spanish Flu Pandemic comes to a close, the 1920s begin, finally completely distancing society from the 19th Century. Ah, the famous Roaring Twenties... The Jazz Age, flappers, Art Deco, and the booming of Radio! A rather glamorous and fancy time of clubs and bars. In the United States, it also coincided with the Alcohol Prohibition, which contributed to the rise of this particular zeitgeist in the first place.
https://pinterest.com/StarLotusHere/1930s/
Also known as the "Dirty 30s", it was a very awkward and difficult time following the Wall Street Crash of 1929. The Great Depression, the Dust Bowl in the US, the rise of fascism... We also saw the rise of Talkies (movies with sound), color in film, and the Golden Age of Radio. Aesthetically, it was as if people were stuck between the 1920s and 40s, very transitional per se.
https://pinterest.com/StarLotusHere/1940s/
The Second World War began and it's even worse than the previous one. Manipulative propaganda was rampant and tens of millions of people died during this time, including civilians. The fashion might look fabulous, but the times were anything but that.
https://pinterest.com/StarLotusHere/1950s/
Entering a Post-War world and the beginning of the Cold War (1947-1991). It was an age of atomic optimism, reflected in the design of cars, architecture, furniture, and interiors. Televisions became widespread to the masses, although they were still black and white. Rock and Roll, fancy diners, Grease, suburbia and the American Dream also defined the look and vibe of the 50s.
https://pinterest.com/StarLotusHere/1960s/
The 60s, a decade of counterculture! Hippies, Woodstock 1969, The Beatles, miniskirts, gogo boots, and psychedelic aesthetics! It was the decade where the youth wanted to voice their beliefs and backlash against traditional institutions and values. It was also that time where TV was getting their colors!
https://pinterest.com/StarLotusHere/1970s/
The decade of Disco, bell bottoms, long hair, Earth Tones, and wooden furniture! Very funky I gotta say... Although the politics and economics of the time were less than stellar. We also saw the birth of Video Games and Physical Media, with the VHS vs. Betamax Format War occurring at the time.
https://pinterest.com/StarLotusHere/1980s/
Ahh, the 80s... The neon aesthetics, MTV, Synthpop music, cassette tapes, and crazy hairstyles! Real life in the 80s didn't really reflect this maximalist paradise as some people might think, but it did reflect in the visuals of music videos, tech design, advertisement, and media of the time.
https://pinterest.com/StarLotusHere/1990s/
Wake up, it's the 90s again! The last decade of the revolutionary 20th Century! Let's immerse ourselves into the future while surfing through the World Wide Web and playing that slick Discman! An exciting time for technology, with the rise of CGI animation, 3D gaming, computers, mobile phones, and CDs! Baggy clothes, Grunge, alternative aesthetics, Windows 95, boy bands, and millennium futurism also defined the decade. An amalgamation of multiple vibes and aesthetics, representing the times.
https://pinterest.com/StarLotusHere/2000s/
The decade of Flip Phones, DVDs, Digital Cameras, iPods/MP3 Players, Emos, and Low-rise Jeans! It was a time where the internet was a new and exciting thing, with websites like Myspace, Orkut, YouTube, and Blingee becoming very popular. It was futuristic, advanced yet dated, loud and quiet, colorful and muted, modern yet nostalgic, uplifting and melancholic, comforting and uneasy, cute and edgy, etc.
Audio-visual version of this board in the format of a YouTube playlist: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLEF7RmsJIwX8YCFZQ_QJuu4EwU2KTXmKf&si=DH3XAcRqSuyqhvbJ
See this post for more information about what I think defined the vibe of the 2000s: https://www.reddit.com/decadeology/comments/18vk6dw/the_vibes_i_get_when_thinking_about_the_2000s/
https://pinterest.com/StarLotusHere/2010s/
Smartphones, the rise of Streaming Services, EDM, Hipsters, Skinny Jeans, 2014 Tumblr, Galaxy prints, Internet Meme aesthetics, Instagram and Snapchat filters... These are the things that defined the 2010s! It was a very bright and tropical-feeling decade, yet somewhat minimalistic.
https://pinterest.com/StarLotusHere/2020s-so-fa
The current decade, as of the writing of this description. We are still living it, so things might change down the line, but so far, I can identify some of the vibes, fashion, and aesthetics of the 2020s. Artificial Intelligence, Baggy Y2K revival, foldable phones, RGB lights, and the slow return of maximalism are the characteristics that I identified so far. Not to mention the COVID-19 Pandemic, which completely shifted the mood for possibly the entire decade. But we will see...
submitted by StarLotus7 to decadeology [link] [comments]
1890s
https://preview.redd.it/z5f33rncs30d1.png?width=1788&format=png&auto=webp&s=9ff9d17c15d906317e52c32f30dffa7d32450bd6https://pinterest.com/StarLotusHere/1890s/
Also known as "The Gay Nineties" ("gay" meaning happy or joyous at the time), it was a part of the "Belle Époque" (1871-1914), the Gilded Age (circa 1870-1900), and the last decade of the Victorian Era (1837-1901) and the 19th Century. It's the first decade in history to have an identity compared to previous times, one of rapid technological advancement, such as the invention of film and cars. A time of Top Hats, big puffy sleeves, Gibson Girls, Art Nouveau, Ragtime, and carriages.
1900s
https://preview.redd.it/79nbwx15s30d1.png?width=1785&format=png&auto=webp&s=c2a850c77d495c38d0f9fd1a4ea9aa8a97a3598fhttps://pinterest.com/StarLotusHere/1900s/
Queen Victoria died in 1901, ushering the Edwardian Era (1901-1910). Puffy sleeves fell out of style, but the Gibson Girl look persists. Ladies hats got bigger and the S-bend corset got popular. Cars, also known at the time as "horseless carriages", were slowly seeping in with the upper classes. Other than that, the 1900s were basically a continuation of the 1890s, with similar aesthetics, music, and styles.
1910s
https://preview.redd.it/669bl7qwr30d1.png?width=1799&format=png&auto=webp&s=f7b5e3b832491790963a8334e1b1420694dc7386https://pinterest.com/StarLotusHere/1910s/
For the time, it was a decade of massive transformations. During the later half, "the Great War" came around, as well as the Spanish Flu. A large number of men went to the battlefields and trenches, women needed to occupy male jobs, new war tech was developing, and propaganda became repent. Throughout the 1910s, cars became more widespread, the airplane was invented, the Radio was slowly rising, and fashion became less uptight and more relaxed compared to the past.
1920s
https://preview.redd.it/vv412o1jr30d1.png?width=1796&format=png&auto=webp&s=819edaf10cab51294d2e90615e277e0a9472c4eahttps://pinterest.com/StarLotusHere/1920s/
As the Great War and Spanish Flu Pandemic comes to a close, the 1920s begin, finally completely distancing society from the 19th Century. Ah, the famous Roaring Twenties... The Jazz Age, flappers, Art Deco, and the booming of Radio! A rather glamorous and fancy time of clubs and bars. In the United States, it also coincided with the Alcohol Prohibition, which contributed to the rise of this particular zeitgeist in the first place.
1930s
https://preview.redd.it/wcu307e6r30d1.png?width=1793&format=png&auto=webp&s=5b83b674fde4c002a458cc541032e1a82c9cf336https://pinterest.com/StarLotusHere/1930s/
Also known as the "Dirty 30s", it was a very awkward and difficult time following the Wall Street Crash of 1929. The Great Depression, the Dust Bowl in the US, the rise of fascism... We also saw the rise of Talkies (movies with sound), color in film, and the Golden Age of Radio. Aesthetically, it was as if people were stuck between the 1920s and 40s, very transitional per se.
1940s
https://preview.redd.it/w7iqvapwq30d1.png?width=1812&format=png&auto=webp&s=714076f0a79b308eb31cd073a450bc94212df798https://pinterest.com/StarLotusHere/1940s/
The Second World War began and it's even worse than the previous one. Manipulative propaganda was rampant and tens of millions of people died during this time, including civilians. The fashion might look fabulous, but the times were anything but that.
1950s
https://preview.redd.it/34j20uwfq30d1.png?width=1793&format=png&auto=webp&s=af672541abb8da9bafea225e17f54e1c9a9a585chttps://pinterest.com/StarLotusHere/1950s/
Entering a Post-War world and the beginning of the Cold War (1947-1991). It was an age of atomic optimism, reflected in the design of cars, architecture, furniture, and interiors. Televisions became widespread to the masses, although they were still black and white. Rock and Roll, fancy diners, Grease, suburbia and the American Dream also defined the look and vibe of the 50s.
1960s
https://preview.redd.it/a77mjonyp30d1.png?width=1792&format=png&auto=webp&s=060a27f52b318ef35178410982d36d7069c83eb7https://pinterest.com/StarLotusHere/1960s/
The 60s, a decade of counterculture! Hippies, Woodstock 1969, The Beatles, miniskirts, gogo boots, and psychedelic aesthetics! It was the decade where the youth wanted to voice their beliefs and backlash against traditional institutions and values. It was also that time where TV was getting their colors!
1970s
https://preview.redd.it/f5ush35pp30d1.png?width=1790&format=png&auto=webp&s=e038a2309045b7904c5e5e63f37f916b7813f7f1https://pinterest.com/StarLotusHere/1970s/
The decade of Disco, bell bottoms, long hair, Earth Tones, and wooden furniture! Very funky I gotta say... Although the politics and economics of the time were less than stellar. We also saw the birth of Video Games and Physical Media, with the VHS vs. Betamax Format War occurring at the time.
1980s
https://preview.redd.it/12p4o5zap30d1.png?width=1788&format=png&auto=webp&s=e566fcc706b507f4a33a792a9527b942e2a82acahttps://pinterest.com/StarLotusHere/1980s/
Ahh, the 80s... The neon aesthetics, MTV, Synthpop music, cassette tapes, and crazy hairstyles! Real life in the 80s didn't really reflect this maximalist paradise as some people might think, but it did reflect in the visuals of music videos, tech design, advertisement, and media of the time.
1990s
https://preview.redd.it/bw33atlqo30d1.png?width=1798&format=png&auto=webp&s=cf2ec2141c77bd621bd75fd0e131c454aada8b20https://pinterest.com/StarLotusHere/1990s/
Wake up, it's the 90s again! The last decade of the revolutionary 20th Century! Let's immerse ourselves into the future while surfing through the World Wide Web and playing that slick Discman! An exciting time for technology, with the rise of CGI animation, 3D gaming, computers, mobile phones, and CDs! Baggy clothes, Grunge, alternative aesthetics, Windows 95, boy bands, and millennium futurism also defined the decade. An amalgamation of multiple vibes and aesthetics, representing the times.
2000s
https://preview.redd.it/hp7c5a3ao30d1.png?width=1800&format=png&auto=webp&s=331a109a9b40aa64f54df268644f04066a064e58https://pinterest.com/StarLotusHere/2000s/
The decade of Flip Phones, DVDs, Digital Cameras, iPods/MP3 Players, Emos, and Low-rise Jeans! It was a time where the internet was a new and exciting thing, with websites like Myspace, Orkut, YouTube, and Blingee becoming very popular. It was futuristic, advanced yet dated, loud and quiet, colorful and muted, modern yet nostalgic, uplifting and melancholic, comforting and uneasy, cute and edgy, etc.
Audio-visual version of this board in the format of a YouTube playlist: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLEF7RmsJIwX8YCFZQ_QJuu4EwU2KTXmKf&si=DH3XAcRqSuyqhvbJ
See this post for more information about what I think defined the vibe of the 2000s: https://www.reddit.com/decadeology/comments/18vk6dw/the_vibes_i_get_when_thinking_about_the_2000s/
2010s
https://preview.redd.it/f505oywan30d1.png?width=1791&format=png&auto=webp&s=6d5293e1281cd2f03a14e4a9d370e84a9473e6f4https://pinterest.com/StarLotusHere/2010s/
Smartphones, the rise of Streaming Services, EDM, Hipsters, Skinny Jeans, 2014 Tumblr, Galaxy prints, Internet Meme aesthetics, Instagram and Snapchat filters... These are the things that defined the 2010s! It was a very bright and tropical-feeling decade, yet somewhat minimalistic.
2020s (so far)
https://preview.redd.it/eosx9nhxm30d1.png?width=1795&format=png&auto=webp&s=d180102f45ec8dbef81cb30af5c7804c31ce2c3ahttps://pinterest.com/StarLotusHere/2020s-so-fa
The current decade, as of the writing of this description. We are still living it, so things might change down the line, but so far, I can identify some of the vibes, fashion, and aesthetics of the 2020s. Artificial Intelligence, Baggy Y2K revival, foldable phones, RGB lights, and the slow return of maximalism are the characteristics that I identified so far. Not to mention the COVID-19 Pandemic, which completely shifted the mood for possibly the entire decade. But we will see...
2024.05.12 21:23 OceanTummy The VERY first anything.
I'll do my best to recount this, but I admit it's tough to reach back and remember the surprise that came with youthful innocence as you meet your own sexual experiences, and nothing is ever as it was described to be, expected to be, some things are worse, some things are great despite seeming yucky at a glance, and some things just don't matter as much as others said.
Best to describe "virginal me" as someone dedicated to her family's devout Christian faith. Never really questioning the faith itself, I didn't totally get how this stuff would work in a practical way as I started having urges and desires towards boys. And I thought I was just a-waitin' to be some homemaking wife, a baby factory... basically everything that I was told I wanted. I believed that I must want these things too!
I'll say this much - I'd made it to high school around this time, and this was a fairly average age for many women to try sexual things. Won't get more specific than that, just in case. And I became very aware of the sort of 'fresh meat' mentality that makes young girls practically competitive with each other -- you know, the things we'll do to keep a boys interest.
So, sure. I had a few boyfriends. My first real kiss, I remember praying for most of the night because I was afraid I liked it too much, and certainly would become a whore overnight, and what's up with these hormones doin' witchcraft without my permission, anyways?
Anyways, in a tale as old as time, I assume, a new family moves in up the street, I'm immediately crushing on the son of this family, and he seemed older, but not by much. I was wrong on this one, he was 22, but I didn't know that, and it certainly wasn't love, but it was at least lust at first sight. I could fin the sin boling inside of me already. Tried to ignore him.
And by trying to ignore him, I mean I'd get as gussied up as possible to simply take a walk around the block while he played basketball alone and shirtless outside, daydreaming about what I might do if he said hello.
Let's try to speed up to get to the parts that probably matter more to you. Oddly, I don't quite remember how we got formally introduced to each other, but we started spending some time together. We were the only people on this whole block under 30 so it just worked out this way. He (and his family) drank, smoked cigarettes, and some other inhalable things. Before him (and we'll call him "Alan"), I thought those were the direct paths to hell. Watching him consume? It felt grown up, mature, like I was living a taboo just for being nearby and able to smell the smoke and beer breath on him.
Before too long he asked me about guys at my school, I did the bashful "no one really notices me" response which was ultimately true but I also had made many concerted decisions and efforts to not get noticed -- I was seen as a goody two shoes church girl and was the butt of many, many jokes. He asked what types of guys I like, and I told him I didn't know, and that was true. Listed off some virtues like honesty, being funny, attractive, and he gave me a "well, that's me". We talked about the difference in age, I laughed it off knowing he couldn't be serious, but asked him the same in return. I got a pretty different answer from him than mine. His list was quite a bit more shallow, but I figured it just covered the surface. He went on about not believing me, that high school boys were dumb (and they often are), that I'm too pretty to be single -- that one sent me over the moon.
Time blurs a lot of this. What felt like weeks of coming up with excuses to hang out with him between when I got home from school and before my parents came home was probably less than two weeks. I'll just get into some nitty gritty now, this is a bit forward in the story, but I don't see much reason to dwell on the priors.
Alan was almost a foot taller than me. Had longish blonde hair, and had that very nice athletic build from working off the alcohol playing basketball alone in the front yard. I loved watching his hips with each jump.
A specific day where I "accidentally" walked in front of his house on the way to mine, which meant I basically had to walk around the block backwards and undetected after getting off of the bus, he was outside smoking, beer in hand. Motioned me over, I don't recall all that was said, but he was talking about how much it sucked to be single. I told him again I'd never been in anything serious with a guy before. I was invited in, but this was the beginning of something different.
He lived in a converted carport/garage attached to his family's house. Just gray cinderblock walls surrounding the possessions of a man-child with very little ambition. Skull bongs with candle wax dripped all over them, a dusty loveseat, a mattress on the floor, no bedframe. No need for curtains as there were no windows. Just a door that would lead outside, and a door that would lead to the rest of the house, which I'd never seen before. But there we were, alone, and he asked if I wanted to see what he really looks for in a girl. Of course I did! And in no time flat, a few clicks of a remote control, and porn was playing on his dingy TV screen from a DVD player.
I'd seen some porn out of curiosity, and some other exposure, but not exactly a large amount of it. Had a general working knowledge of the most common things one might see, and a mental idea of what sets of genitalia looked like, as well as what they produce/excrete. Does that sound clinical? It should. At the time, most of my sexual knowledge was either general functionality, and a lot of "things women did to land a man but didn't really like doing". One of those things I'd heard even from my own mom was happening on the screen with precious little notice: an impossibly busty woman was blowing someone. Of course I pretended like this was no big deal and I watched porn allllll the time.
He went on to tell me that "any girl of his" would be really into doing that for him whenever he wanted. I'd asked if that had been common for him with ex's. He'd said something like "no, and that's why they are ex's. If I could get blowjobs anytime I wanted, I would literally never want anything else in bed", and there was a laugh, but a bit of seriousness to it as he looked at me and waited for my response. We talked a little more about the intricacies - sometimes it'd be fast like what was happening onscreen, sometimes it'd be really slow so he'd lay back and enjoy...then the money shot happened, conversation ceased as the random busty lady got her face coated. This is why I asked the million dollar question about if he expected to shellac his next girlfriends face with each blowjob. He told me, no. The rationale was that women only did that in porn so you could see that he really finished. HIS girls would swallow it.
Listen, I know how insane this probably sounds, but the idea that you'd ever consume that stuff was just like science fiction to me. Figured that if it tasted half okay, no one would ever have kids, really.
He used the remote, went to yet another POV blowjob scene, kind of groaning in happiness as he'd say things like "yeah, take it girl" or "yeah, you know you love being a dickeater". I hadn't heard him talk like this. Also, my hormones were somehow excited by it all.
I thought about things quickly; my understanding was that blowjobs were a pretty submissive act, but most of the women in my church seemed to submit to their husbands, and since I didn't recall anyone in the 'scare you out of premarital sex' sermons saying that blowjobs counted (because I really was this naive), I started wondering to myself if this was something I'd be okay with doing. Seemed like a direct line from giving Alan head to being his girlfriend.
But next to me, he started rubbing the bulge in his shorts. Over the cloth, but with a thumb tucked inside, like he'd planned to go exploring, but remembered I was in front of him. Even my naive ass knew he was hard. This seemed like a good time to ask him if he wanted me to leave, and he said I shouldn't since we were enjoying "the show" together. I won't pretend my hormones weren't twirling like crazy, but it was also pretty scary to me then. I'd try to stay on topic but ask other questions. One was along the lines of "If you had a girlfriend that did that for you whenever, what else would you expect out of her", and his answer was basically "do what I like in bed, the rest works itself out, and I probably wouldn't care past that". How many times a week? "You mean how many times a day", he'd say with a guffaw.
Mentally, I was weighing things, did I want to be his girlfriend so badly that I'd jump right into the unknown? Did I want to be a girlfriend at all? My hormones said yes to the latter, but weren't immediately sure of the former. I responded with something I don't quite recall, but measured up to "if all you want are blowjobs. I bet I'd be great at being your girlfriend"
He motioned towards his zipper and asked something like " do you mind if I...?", trailing off. I genuinely thought he wanted to excuse himself to rub one out, so I said I didn't mind. It was that fast that he had his dick out, stroking himself, and asked with all the gusto in the world: do I want to try it?
This, I remember like it was yesterday.
I said I'd have to be his girlfriend for that! "Want to be my girlfriend, then?" I'd mentioned I didn't know how to do it. "I'll show you how" That's all it takes? "If you swallow, you're definitely my girlfriend"
This girl didn't have a damn clue how relationships began, were handled, and every old adage I'd ever been told about sex acts that "keep men happy" came flooding into my mind. Maybe this was how you get a real boyfriend? Technically this "isn't sex"? It's like my life flashed before my eyes as he guided my head down. I looked down until I got too close to focus my eyes, seeing his blondish-brown pubic hair while he stroked his cock next to me. With a sigh and more butterflies in my stomach than most forests, I said "where do you want me?" and just that quickly, his hand went away from his cock and just guided my head riiiiiight down to it.
As soon as his cock, damp with precum, touched my lips, I instinctively opened my mouth and let him slide right in. "Showing me how to do it" meant "putting his hand on the back of my head and using my mouth in place of his hand". Beyond the obvious, he actually wasn't too pushy. It felt like a lot at the time. I marveled at how much bigger the head of his cock seemed in my mouth than just looking at it. No idea if he was looking at the screen or looking at me, I heard him cheering me on, quietly: "good girl", "just like that", "move your tongue more... JUST like that" while he kept my head going at a steady pace.
When he said "it always takes me longer to finish when I drink, sorry", I was pretty confused - I realized I didn't know how long these even took on average. He paused at one point to swig from his beer can, letting go of my head, saying "keep going baby". I'd never been called baby. I'd never been called a good girl. My brain and heart loved it, and I started mentally assuming this was now my fiance because I genuinely was that naive.
He was good with direction, yes, but no real moans. I didn't know I was to expect them, but for this reason, I had no metric to decide how long I'd been doing this, how long I should expect to be doing it, or anything. Just... swallow when he's done. I got more into it as my heart got more involved, and showed some initiative by choosing to bob my head faster (I really didn't know my way around a penis back then, so I assumed speed was the key), which got him to say something like "damn baby, you really like this!", when I was thinking "I don't know about that, I just really like YOU", but it instead came out as a muffled "mmhmm" -- because I didn't want him to think I was having a bad time.
In the moment, I didn't know if I was "having a good time". Looking back, I'm fairly sure that I was thinking "I really want him to be my boyfriend and this is how to make that happen", and my faith wasn't really entering my mind much once I felt him push my head. He never went so far as to gag me, but did keep steadily guiding me. Also, in looking back, I'm not sure why I wanted a boyfriend so badly -- the inexplicable desires of a teenage girl, I'd guess?
Back to the situation?
His grip on my head tightened, and I only had a second to think to myself "I must be doing something right" before he shot spurt after spurt after spurt of cum into my unsuspecting mouth. He grunted with each shot, and it was only really as his orgasm subsided that I really started getting anxious about what I'm supposed to be doing. Was I supposed to swallow it and leave? Do I take his dick out of my mouth first and then swallow, or try to do it with him shoved against my tonsils?
That was mostly answered with him pulling my head up, telling me it got really sensitive. He looked happy and almost sleepy. And then... "you going to swallow?"
This might be hard to believe, but I wasn't even thinking about if I liked the taste or not. It was all so new, especially this texture. I nodded that I would, and had to fight making a face as I choked it back, it hit my bitter tastebuds, and I shuddered a bit, and the aftertaste hit me of the saltiest and most bitter concoction I could have ever imagined.
Until I went home, everything that happened for the next few minutes is there in my memory as a blur, but I do recall some very specific things. Most of all, the main question on my mind was "... well, what happens now?" - I'd just done something I'd been told I was supposed to hate doing, but I didn't hate it. I swallowed, which I was told was the worst and it made you a total ho, but I'd only done it the one time, and didn't feel like a total ho. Overall, I was shocked at how much I didn't mind it. Not only did I not mind it, I wasn't opposed to doing it again, and I felt that way immediately. Wasn't sure if this was me weighing if I was ready to do this again, but that's getting way ahead of the story.
When I gulped it down, I sat straight up and looked directly at him, assuredly waiting for some kind of cue about what the hell people do after a blowjob, you've swallowed his cum -- literally everything I knew told me he was supposed to be falling asleep now, and he very much wasn't asleep while he shoved his cock back into his shorts.
What came next was a negotiation that I didn't realize was a negotiation. After I said "how did I do", and he'd told me I did really well, but I'd learn more over time, and the best thing I did was "swallow like a champ". Asking him if most girls did that for him, he'd said "no, and that's why I'm single". Knowing what I know years later, that's arguably true! Just a creative way to put it.
But those questions started pouring out of him as the afterglow subsided, all of which I greeted with the same answer: "If you were my girlfriend you'd do that whenever I said?", "You're gonna swallow every time?", "Would you do it first thing in the morning if I said so?", "You're okay with me not doing that for you, I hate doing that for girls?", "Wow, you really liked that cum, didn't you?" is the last one he asked with a huge grin. I answered yes to all of it -- I didn't see a problem with those things, really. It was only when he talked about me "liking cum" that I was fibbing. I didn't hate it, but I didn't know what to make of it, and again, was mostly surprised that it was nowhere near as bad as I was led to believe it'd be. Besides, I'm getting a boyfriend!
He peck-kissed me after a hug, and led me to his door. Told me to not worry about knocking, to just come in whenever -- that kind of trust bowled me over, I must say. And of course, leaned in and whispered in my ear "but you know we got to keep this secret for now, a lot could happen, you're young..." and in the moment, I agreed. I had my own reasons for thinking that, but they hit me like a sledgehammer as I walked out the door and made my way home.
I wondered exactly why I was so hellbent on him. He had no job. No car. No license. If he had friends, I hadn't seen any of them (but he did, and that's a story for later). Breathed a sigh of relief that I wasn't going to have to explain my brand new dating situation to my parents because we were going to keep it quiet. Also, I panicked that it'd somehow be very obvious to my parents when I got home that I was still a virgin, but had done something sexual. That was silly, and sure, I hid it, but probably because I started hiding myself away from them.
That was a Friday. I was in my bedroom just about to go to sleep, when an inebriated Alan tapped on my window; he wanted me to know that he wanted to be up around 10 AM, so I should probably make plans to go over and "get used to waking" him up that way. I smiled with wild ideas about the fun we'd have together after I woke him up and we got the blowjob situation out of the way. Oh, I was so naïve.
SO naïve. But I agreed, and he told me he was excited to see his good girl in the morning, and I melted.
I'll pick up from here next time.
submitted by OceanTummy to u/OceanTummy [link] [comments]
Best to describe "virginal me" as someone dedicated to her family's devout Christian faith. Never really questioning the faith itself, I didn't totally get how this stuff would work in a practical way as I started having urges and desires towards boys. And I thought I was just a-waitin' to be some homemaking wife, a baby factory... basically everything that I was told I wanted. I believed that I must want these things too!
I'll say this much - I'd made it to high school around this time, and this was a fairly average age for many women to try sexual things. Won't get more specific than that, just in case. And I became very aware of the sort of 'fresh meat' mentality that makes young girls practically competitive with each other -- you know, the things we'll do to keep a boys interest.
So, sure. I had a few boyfriends. My first real kiss, I remember praying for most of the night because I was afraid I liked it too much, and certainly would become a whore overnight, and what's up with these hormones doin' witchcraft without my permission, anyways?
Anyways, in a tale as old as time, I assume, a new family moves in up the street, I'm immediately crushing on the son of this family, and he seemed older, but not by much. I was wrong on this one, he was 22, but I didn't know that, and it certainly wasn't love, but it was at least lust at first sight. I could fin the sin boling inside of me already. Tried to ignore him.
And by trying to ignore him, I mean I'd get as gussied up as possible to simply take a walk around the block while he played basketball alone and shirtless outside, daydreaming about what I might do if he said hello.
Let's try to speed up to get to the parts that probably matter more to you. Oddly, I don't quite remember how we got formally introduced to each other, but we started spending some time together. We were the only people on this whole block under 30 so it just worked out this way. He (and his family) drank, smoked cigarettes, and some other inhalable things. Before him (and we'll call him "Alan"), I thought those were the direct paths to hell. Watching him consume? It felt grown up, mature, like I was living a taboo just for being nearby and able to smell the smoke and beer breath on him.
Before too long he asked me about guys at my school, I did the bashful "no one really notices me" response which was ultimately true but I also had made many concerted decisions and efforts to not get noticed -- I was seen as a goody two shoes church girl and was the butt of many, many jokes. He asked what types of guys I like, and I told him I didn't know, and that was true. Listed off some virtues like honesty, being funny, attractive, and he gave me a "well, that's me". We talked about the difference in age, I laughed it off knowing he couldn't be serious, but asked him the same in return. I got a pretty different answer from him than mine. His list was quite a bit more shallow, but I figured it just covered the surface. He went on about not believing me, that high school boys were dumb (and they often are), that I'm too pretty to be single -- that one sent me over the moon.
Time blurs a lot of this. What felt like weeks of coming up with excuses to hang out with him between when I got home from school and before my parents came home was probably less than two weeks. I'll just get into some nitty gritty now, this is a bit forward in the story, but I don't see much reason to dwell on the priors.
Alan was almost a foot taller than me. Had longish blonde hair, and had that very nice athletic build from working off the alcohol playing basketball alone in the front yard. I loved watching his hips with each jump.
A specific day where I "accidentally" walked in front of his house on the way to mine, which meant I basically had to walk around the block backwards and undetected after getting off of the bus, he was outside smoking, beer in hand. Motioned me over, I don't recall all that was said, but he was talking about how much it sucked to be single. I told him again I'd never been in anything serious with a guy before. I was invited in, but this was the beginning of something different.
He lived in a converted carport/garage attached to his family's house. Just gray cinderblock walls surrounding the possessions of a man-child with very little ambition. Skull bongs with candle wax dripped all over them, a dusty loveseat, a mattress on the floor, no bedframe. No need for curtains as there were no windows. Just a door that would lead outside, and a door that would lead to the rest of the house, which I'd never seen before. But there we were, alone, and he asked if I wanted to see what he really looks for in a girl. Of course I did! And in no time flat, a few clicks of a remote control, and porn was playing on his dingy TV screen from a DVD player.
I'd seen some porn out of curiosity, and some other exposure, but not exactly a large amount of it. Had a general working knowledge of the most common things one might see, and a mental idea of what sets of genitalia looked like, as well as what they produce/excrete. Does that sound clinical? It should. At the time, most of my sexual knowledge was either general functionality, and a lot of "things women did to land a man but didn't really like doing". One of those things I'd heard even from my own mom was happening on the screen with precious little notice: an impossibly busty woman was blowing someone. Of course I pretended like this was no big deal and I watched porn allllll the time.
He went on to tell me that "any girl of his" would be really into doing that for him whenever he wanted. I'd asked if that had been common for him with ex's. He'd said something like "no, and that's why they are ex's. If I could get blowjobs anytime I wanted, I would literally never want anything else in bed", and there was a laugh, but a bit of seriousness to it as he looked at me and waited for my response. We talked a little more about the intricacies - sometimes it'd be fast like what was happening onscreen, sometimes it'd be really slow so he'd lay back and enjoy...then the money shot happened, conversation ceased as the random busty lady got her face coated. This is why I asked the million dollar question about if he expected to shellac his next girlfriends face with each blowjob. He told me, no. The rationale was that women only did that in porn so you could see that he really finished. HIS girls would swallow it.
Listen, I know how insane this probably sounds, but the idea that you'd ever consume that stuff was just like science fiction to me. Figured that if it tasted half okay, no one would ever have kids, really.
He used the remote, went to yet another POV blowjob scene, kind of groaning in happiness as he'd say things like "yeah, take it girl" or "yeah, you know you love being a dickeater". I hadn't heard him talk like this. Also, my hormones were somehow excited by it all.
I thought about things quickly; my understanding was that blowjobs were a pretty submissive act, but most of the women in my church seemed to submit to their husbands, and since I didn't recall anyone in the 'scare you out of premarital sex' sermons saying that blowjobs counted (because I really was this naive), I started wondering to myself if this was something I'd be okay with doing. Seemed like a direct line from giving Alan head to being his girlfriend.
But next to me, he started rubbing the bulge in his shorts. Over the cloth, but with a thumb tucked inside, like he'd planned to go exploring, but remembered I was in front of him. Even my naive ass knew he was hard. This seemed like a good time to ask him if he wanted me to leave, and he said I shouldn't since we were enjoying "the show" together. I won't pretend my hormones weren't twirling like crazy, but it was also pretty scary to me then. I'd try to stay on topic but ask other questions. One was along the lines of "If you had a girlfriend that did that for you whenever, what else would you expect out of her", and his answer was basically "do what I like in bed, the rest works itself out, and I probably wouldn't care past that". How many times a week? "You mean how many times a day", he'd say with a guffaw.
Mentally, I was weighing things, did I want to be his girlfriend so badly that I'd jump right into the unknown? Did I want to be a girlfriend at all? My hormones said yes to the latter, but weren't immediately sure of the former. I responded with something I don't quite recall, but measured up to "if all you want are blowjobs. I bet I'd be great at being your girlfriend"
He motioned towards his zipper and asked something like " do you mind if I...?", trailing off. I genuinely thought he wanted to excuse himself to rub one out, so I said I didn't mind. It was that fast that he had his dick out, stroking himself, and asked with all the gusto in the world: do I want to try it?
This, I remember like it was yesterday.
I said I'd have to be his girlfriend for that! "Want to be my girlfriend, then?" I'd mentioned I didn't know how to do it. "I'll show you how" That's all it takes? "If you swallow, you're definitely my girlfriend"
This girl didn't have a damn clue how relationships began, were handled, and every old adage I'd ever been told about sex acts that "keep men happy" came flooding into my mind. Maybe this was how you get a real boyfriend? Technically this "isn't sex"? It's like my life flashed before my eyes as he guided my head down. I looked down until I got too close to focus my eyes, seeing his blondish-brown pubic hair while he stroked his cock next to me. With a sigh and more butterflies in my stomach than most forests, I said "where do you want me?" and just that quickly, his hand went away from his cock and just guided my head riiiiiight down to it.
As soon as his cock, damp with precum, touched my lips, I instinctively opened my mouth and let him slide right in. "Showing me how to do it" meant "putting his hand on the back of my head and using my mouth in place of his hand". Beyond the obvious, he actually wasn't too pushy. It felt like a lot at the time. I marveled at how much bigger the head of his cock seemed in my mouth than just looking at it. No idea if he was looking at the screen or looking at me, I heard him cheering me on, quietly: "good girl", "just like that", "move your tongue more... JUST like that" while he kept my head going at a steady pace.
When he said "it always takes me longer to finish when I drink, sorry", I was pretty confused - I realized I didn't know how long these even took on average. He paused at one point to swig from his beer can, letting go of my head, saying "keep going baby". I'd never been called baby. I'd never been called a good girl. My brain and heart loved it, and I started mentally assuming this was now my fiance because I genuinely was that naive.
He was good with direction, yes, but no real moans. I didn't know I was to expect them, but for this reason, I had no metric to decide how long I'd been doing this, how long I should expect to be doing it, or anything. Just... swallow when he's done. I got more into it as my heart got more involved, and showed some initiative by choosing to bob my head faster (I really didn't know my way around a penis back then, so I assumed speed was the key), which got him to say something like "damn baby, you really like this!", when I was thinking "I don't know about that, I just really like YOU", but it instead came out as a muffled "mmhmm" -- because I didn't want him to think I was having a bad time.
In the moment, I didn't know if I was "having a good time". Looking back, I'm fairly sure that I was thinking "I really want him to be my boyfriend and this is how to make that happen", and my faith wasn't really entering my mind much once I felt him push my head. He never went so far as to gag me, but did keep steadily guiding me. Also, in looking back, I'm not sure why I wanted a boyfriend so badly -- the inexplicable desires of a teenage girl, I'd guess?
Back to the situation?
His grip on my head tightened, and I only had a second to think to myself "I must be doing something right" before he shot spurt after spurt after spurt of cum into my unsuspecting mouth. He grunted with each shot, and it was only really as his orgasm subsided that I really started getting anxious about what I'm supposed to be doing. Was I supposed to swallow it and leave? Do I take his dick out of my mouth first and then swallow, or try to do it with him shoved against my tonsils?
That was mostly answered with him pulling my head up, telling me it got really sensitive. He looked happy and almost sleepy. And then... "you going to swallow?"
This might be hard to believe, but I wasn't even thinking about if I liked the taste or not. It was all so new, especially this texture. I nodded that I would, and had to fight making a face as I choked it back, it hit my bitter tastebuds, and I shuddered a bit, and the aftertaste hit me of the saltiest and most bitter concoction I could have ever imagined.
Until I went home, everything that happened for the next few minutes is there in my memory as a blur, but I do recall some very specific things. Most of all, the main question on my mind was "... well, what happens now?" - I'd just done something I'd been told I was supposed to hate doing, but I didn't hate it. I swallowed, which I was told was the worst and it made you a total ho, but I'd only done it the one time, and didn't feel like a total ho. Overall, I was shocked at how much I didn't mind it. Not only did I not mind it, I wasn't opposed to doing it again, and I felt that way immediately. Wasn't sure if this was me weighing if I was ready to do this again, but that's getting way ahead of the story.
When I gulped it down, I sat straight up and looked directly at him, assuredly waiting for some kind of cue about what the hell people do after a blowjob, you've swallowed his cum -- literally everything I knew told me he was supposed to be falling asleep now, and he very much wasn't asleep while he shoved his cock back into his shorts.
What came next was a negotiation that I didn't realize was a negotiation. After I said "how did I do", and he'd told me I did really well, but I'd learn more over time, and the best thing I did was "swallow like a champ". Asking him if most girls did that for him, he'd said "no, and that's why I'm single". Knowing what I know years later, that's arguably true! Just a creative way to put it.
But those questions started pouring out of him as the afterglow subsided, all of which I greeted with the same answer: "If you were my girlfriend you'd do that whenever I said?", "You're gonna swallow every time?", "Would you do it first thing in the morning if I said so?", "You're okay with me not doing that for you, I hate doing that for girls?", "Wow, you really liked that cum, didn't you?" is the last one he asked with a huge grin. I answered yes to all of it -- I didn't see a problem with those things, really. It was only when he talked about me "liking cum" that I was fibbing. I didn't hate it, but I didn't know what to make of it, and again, was mostly surprised that it was nowhere near as bad as I was led to believe it'd be. Besides, I'm getting a boyfriend!
He peck-kissed me after a hug, and led me to his door. Told me to not worry about knocking, to just come in whenever -- that kind of trust bowled me over, I must say. And of course, leaned in and whispered in my ear "but you know we got to keep this secret for now, a lot could happen, you're young..." and in the moment, I agreed. I had my own reasons for thinking that, but they hit me like a sledgehammer as I walked out the door and made my way home.
I wondered exactly why I was so hellbent on him. He had no job. No car. No license. If he had friends, I hadn't seen any of them (but he did, and that's a story for later). Breathed a sigh of relief that I wasn't going to have to explain my brand new dating situation to my parents because we were going to keep it quiet. Also, I panicked that it'd somehow be very obvious to my parents when I got home that I was still a virgin, but had done something sexual. That was silly, and sure, I hid it, but probably because I started hiding myself away from them.
That was a Friday. I was in my bedroom just about to go to sleep, when an inebriated Alan tapped on my window; he wanted me to know that he wanted to be up around 10 AM, so I should probably make plans to go over and "get used to waking" him up that way. I smiled with wild ideas about the fun we'd have together after I woke him up and we got the blowjob situation out of the way. Oh, I was so naïve.
SO naïve. But I agreed, and he told me he was excited to see his good girl in the morning, and I melted.
I'll pick up from here next time.
2024.05.12 16:55 Hour-Performance8906 How do I make my hair grow faster?
I have curly brown hair, and I’ve seen a hairstyle that I actually though would look good on me, maybe even a hair dye too!
I wondered if you guys had tips & tricks to make it grow faster cause I’ve seen in the internet and 0,1 inch a week is kinda slow…
Yo boy -Alex
submitted by Hour-Performance8906 to feminineboys [link] [comments]
I wondered if you guys had tips & tricks to make it grow faster cause I’ve seen in the internet and 0,1 inch a week is kinda slow…
Yo boy -Alex
2024.05.12 16:55 Hour-Performance8906 How do I make my hair grow faster?
I have curly brown hair, and I’ve seen a hairstyle that I actually though would look good on me, maybe even a hair dye too!
I wondered if you guys had tips & tricks to make it grow faster cause I’ve seen in the internet and 0,1 inch a week is kinda slow…
Yo boy -Alex
submitted by Hour-Performance8906 to feminineboys [link] [comments]
I wondered if you guys had tips & tricks to make it grow faster cause I’ve seen in the internet and 0,1 inch a week is kinda slow…
Yo boy -Alex
2024.05.12 16:53 Thatevilstickguy Unhandled exception crash
Hey! I need some help with this crash log, I've tried many things including updating, ensuring load order is correct, reinstalling mods, checking conflict rules and such. Still havent found a solution, any help is appreciated!
https://pastebin.com/YVa9e59f
I am using Vortex if that makes sense, and load order seems to be good but here it is
DLCRobot.esm
DLCworkshop01.esm
DLCCoast.esm
DLCworkshop02.esm
DLCworkshop03.esm
DLCNukaWorld.esm
WorkshopFramework.esm
SS2.esm
XDI.esm
ArmorKeywords.esm
TrueStormsFO4.esm
T65PA.esl
HellcatPA.esl
NCRArmourPack.esl
ConfigurableHotkeys.esl
SpringCleaning.esm
NAC.esm
MorePrefabs.esl
TacticalReload.esm
KARMA.esm
CBBE.esp
SS2_XDI Patch.esp
3DNPC_FO4.esp
Stm_DiamondCityExpansion.esp
AtomicRadio.esp
FatherCompanion.esp
Armorsmith Extended.esp
Better Locational Damage.esp
RaiderOverhaul.esp
OVT.esp
BetterSettlers.esp
RecruitableSettlers.esp
RecruitableSettlersFH.esp
FO4 NPCs Travel.esp
LooksMenu.esp
SettlementMenuManager.esp
PD_LowerWeapon.esp
Configurable Artillery.esp
M8rDisablePipboyEffects.esp
W.A.T.Minutemen.esp
ClassicSniper.esp
ImmersiveVendors.esp
LooksMenu Customization Compendium.esp
OCDecorator.esp
OCDispenser.esp
KSHairdos.esp
3dscopes-replacer.esp
TrueStormsFO4-FarHarbor.esp
Consistent Power Armor Overhaul.esp
CorvalhoWidowShotgun.esp
CoAPowerArmor.esp
Enclave-X02.esp
NVRH Enhanced.esp
VisibleCompanionAffinity.esp
Shatter.esp
Weaponsmith Extended 2.esp
ValdacilsItemSorting-00-ValsPicks-NoDLCVersion.esp
T6M-WORedux.esp
More Power Armour Mods.esp
WeightlessMods.esp
WeightlessJunk.esp
GoldBars.esp
FO4FI HD Series_HD DLC Clothes and Armor.esp
T6M_WO-R_BLD.esp
Better Locational Damage - DLC_Nuka_World.esp
T6M_WO-R_TacRel.esp
Better Locational Damage - DLC_Far_Harbor.esp
BLD - Leveled Lists - DLC.esp
WeightlessAid.esp
Better Chems - Valdacils Item Sorting.esp
Better Locational Damage - DLC_Automatron.esp
Better Locational Damage - DLC_WWorkshop.esp
Better Locational Damage_ Raider Overhaul_Valdacil_Patch.esp
Better Perks.esp
Better VATS - 0.75.esp
T6M_WO-R_3dScopes.esp
T6M_WO-R_SS2.esp
T6M_WO-R_UF4P.esp
M9.esp
3dscopes-m9.esp
Mosin.esp
3dscopes-mosin.esp
3dscopes-wse2.esp
BetterSettlersNoLollygagging.esp
FortunateCapsStashes.esp
Combat AI Empowered.esp
AnimatedCandles.esp
CollectorHints.Base.Magazines.esp
Reverb and Ambiance Overhaul.esp
Vivid Weathers - FO4.esp
ABundleofTape.esp
M1Garand.esp
AK74M.esp
WoodenPrefabsExtended.esp
Combat AI Empowered - Game Settings Upgrade.esp
WeightlessSpecialAmmo.esp
PD_VisualReload.esp
CollectorHints.Base.Bobbleheads.esp
Thematic and Practical.esp
FO4FI HD Series_HD Vanilla Armor.esp
EnclaveX02.esp
BetterSettlersCCAPack2.0.esp
Campsite.esp
CraftableAmmo.esp
CraftableAmmo_plus.esp
Grasslands - Healthy.esp
Lots More Male Hairstyles.esp
Immersive_Molotovs_FlamerESP.esp
Faster Terminal Displays (20x).esp
InstitWeapPosit.esp
Friffy_Holstered Weapons.esp
M1Garand - AWKCR-VIS-VW.esp
M1Garand-1.5xDMG.esp
More Where That Came From Diamond City.esp
SCAR-L.esp
SimpleFinishersRE.esp
SC_ExpandedScrapList.esp
SprintStutterRemover.esp
SurvivalOptions.esp
Stimpaks help you breathe.esp
VisibleWeapons.esp
dD-Enhanced Blood Basic.esp
dD - Screen Blood Duration Medium.esp
Vivid Weathers - FO4 - Autumn.esp
Eli_WastelanderClothing.esp
Weapon Rack Extended.esp
Live Dismemberment - Brutal.esp
Live Dismemberment - Insane-o.esp
Live Dismemberment - Liebermode.esp
Live Dismemberment - Mental.esp
Live Dismemberment - Mind-Blowing.esp
Live Dismemberment - POSTAL.esp
Live Dismemberment - Regular.esp
AnS Wearable Backpacks and Pouches.esp
AnS Wearable Backpacks and Pouches - Ballistic Weave.esp
AnS Wearable Backpacks and Pouches - Power Armor Carry Capacity.esp
NAC-FarHarbor.esp
NAC-NukaWorld.esp
LongerPowerLines3x.esp
Ammo.esp
BrighterSettlementLights_LongAndSoft.esp
VATST_BulletFlyAdd_x3Faster.esp
VATST_Combat_Vanilla_25.esp
VATST_HitChance_Rebalance_5000.esp
VATST_Stranger_RealTime_x2.esp
VATST_Targeting_Slow.esp
4xFusionCore.esp
VividFallout - AiO - BestChoice.esp
Enhanced Vanilla Vines.esp
Power Armor HUD Switcher.esp
TrueStormsFO4-EarlierSunsets.esp
TrueStormsFO4-EarlierSunsetsFH.esp
TrueStormsFO4-FarHarborExtraRads.esp
TrueStormsFO4-GlowingSeaExtraRads.esp
StartMeUp.esp
PlayerComments.esp
3dscopes-replacer-classicsniper.esp
WorkshopRearranged.esp
Vault-Tec Workshop Overhaul Redux.esp
Vault88 - Essentials.esp
Scrap Everything - Core.esp
Pip-Boy Flashlight.esp
Realistic_conversations.esp
Vivid Waters.esp
submitted by Thatevilstickguy to Fallout4Mods [link] [comments]
https://pastebin.com/YVa9e59f
I am using Vortex if that makes sense, and load order seems to be good but here it is
Automatically generated by Vortex
Fallout4.esmDLCRobot.esm
DLCworkshop01.esm
DLCCoast.esm
DLCworkshop02.esm
DLCworkshop03.esm
DLCNukaWorld.esm
WorkshopFramework.esm
SS2.esm
XDI.esm
ArmorKeywords.esm
TrueStormsFO4.esm
T65PA.esl
HellcatPA.esl
NCRArmourPack.esl
ConfigurableHotkeys.esl
SpringCleaning.esm
NAC.esm
MorePrefabs.esl
TacticalReload.esm
KARMA.esm
CBBE.esp
SS2_XDI Patch.esp
3DNPC_FO4.esp
Stm_DiamondCityExpansion.esp
AtomicRadio.esp
FatherCompanion.esp
Armorsmith Extended.esp
Better Locational Damage.esp
RaiderOverhaul.esp
OVT.esp
BetterSettlers.esp
RecruitableSettlers.esp
RecruitableSettlersFH.esp
FO4 NPCs Travel.esp
LooksMenu.esp
SettlementMenuManager.esp
PD_LowerWeapon.esp
Configurable Artillery.esp
M8rDisablePipboyEffects.esp
W.A.T.Minutemen.esp
ClassicSniper.esp
ImmersiveVendors.esp
LooksMenu Customization Compendium.esp
OCDecorator.esp
OCDispenser.esp
KSHairdos.esp
3dscopes-replacer.esp
TrueStormsFO4-FarHarbor.esp
Consistent Power Armor Overhaul.esp
CorvalhoWidowShotgun.esp
CoAPowerArmor.esp
Enclave-X02.esp
NVRH Enhanced.esp
VisibleCompanionAffinity.esp
Shatter.esp
Weaponsmith Extended 2.esp
ValdacilsItemSorting-00-ValsPicks-NoDLCVersion.esp
T6M-WORedux.esp
More Power Armour Mods.esp
WeightlessMods.esp
WeightlessJunk.esp
GoldBars.esp
FO4FI HD Series_HD DLC Clothes and Armor.esp
T6M_WO-R_BLD.esp
Better Locational Damage - DLC_Nuka_World.esp
T6M_WO-R_TacRel.esp
Better Locational Damage - DLC_Far_Harbor.esp
BLD - Leveled Lists - DLC.esp
WeightlessAid.esp
Better Chems - Valdacils Item Sorting.esp
Better Locational Damage - DLC_Automatron.esp
Better Locational Damage - DLC_WWorkshop.esp
Better Locational Damage_ Raider Overhaul_Valdacil_Patch.esp
Better Perks.esp
Better VATS - 0.75.esp
T6M_WO-R_3dScopes.esp
T6M_WO-R_SS2.esp
T6M_WO-R_UF4P.esp
M9.esp
3dscopes-m9.esp
Mosin.esp
3dscopes-mosin.esp
3dscopes-wse2.esp
BetterSettlersNoLollygagging.esp
FortunateCapsStashes.esp
Combat AI Empowered.esp
AnimatedCandles.esp
CollectorHints.Base.Magazines.esp
Reverb and Ambiance Overhaul.esp
Vivid Weathers - FO4.esp
ABundleofTape.esp
M1Garand.esp
AK74M.esp
WoodenPrefabsExtended.esp
Combat AI Empowered - Game Settings Upgrade.esp
WeightlessSpecialAmmo.esp
PD_VisualReload.esp
CollectorHints.Base.Bobbleheads.esp
Thematic and Practical.esp
FO4FI HD Series_HD Vanilla Armor.esp
EnclaveX02.esp
BetterSettlersCCAPack2.0.esp
Campsite.esp
CraftableAmmo.esp
CraftableAmmo_plus.esp
Grasslands - Healthy.esp
Lots More Male Hairstyles.esp
Immersive_Molotovs_FlamerESP.esp
Faster Terminal Displays (20x).esp
InstitWeapPosit.esp
Friffy_Holstered Weapons.esp
M1Garand - AWKCR-VIS-VW.esp
M1Garand-1.5xDMG.esp
More Where That Came From Diamond City.esp
SCAR-L.esp
SimpleFinishersRE.esp
SC_ExpandedScrapList.esp
SprintStutterRemover.esp
SurvivalOptions.esp
Stimpaks help you breathe.esp
VisibleWeapons.esp
dD-Enhanced Blood Basic.esp
dD - Screen Blood Duration Medium.esp
Vivid Weathers - FO4 - Autumn.esp
Eli_WastelanderClothing.esp
Weapon Rack Extended.esp
Live Dismemberment - Brutal.esp
Live Dismemberment - Insane-o.esp
Live Dismemberment - Liebermode.esp
Live Dismemberment - Mental.esp
Live Dismemberment - Mind-Blowing.esp
Live Dismemberment - POSTAL.esp
Live Dismemberment - Regular.esp
AnS Wearable Backpacks and Pouches.esp
AnS Wearable Backpacks and Pouches - Ballistic Weave.esp
AnS Wearable Backpacks and Pouches - Power Armor Carry Capacity.esp
NAC-FarHarbor.esp
NAC-NukaWorld.esp
LongerPowerLines3x.esp
Ammo.esp
BrighterSettlementLights_LongAndSoft.esp
VATST_BulletFlyAdd_x3Faster.esp
VATST_Combat_Vanilla_25.esp
VATST_HitChance_Rebalance_5000.esp
VATST_Stranger_RealTime_x2.esp
VATST_Targeting_Slow.esp
4xFusionCore.esp
VividFallout - AiO - BestChoice.esp
Enhanced Vanilla Vines.esp
Power Armor HUD Switcher.esp
TrueStormsFO4-EarlierSunsets.esp
TrueStormsFO4-EarlierSunsetsFH.esp
TrueStormsFO4-FarHarborExtraRads.esp
TrueStormsFO4-GlowingSeaExtraRads.esp
StartMeUp.esp
PlayerComments.esp
3dscopes-replacer-classicsniper.esp
WorkshopRearranged.esp
Vault-Tec Workshop Overhaul Redux.esp
Vault88 - Essentials.esp
Scrap Everything - Core.esp
Pip-Boy Flashlight.esp
Realistic_conversations.esp
Vivid Waters.esp
2024.05.12 16:35 Anniewaitsbutnot4me Victim, Main Character Syndrome, and an Old Enemy Plan my Wedding.
I (36 F) married my husband 13 years ago. I am a product of a divorced family and he a single mom. Growing up, my dad had full custody of me and I would visit my mom every school break (we were a year round school system). As I got older, my mom began using my toxic relationship with my stepmom to gaslight me into moving in with her when I was old enough per state law. I was tired of being treated like less than human by my stepmom and finally agreed to go live with my mom at 15. She then proceeded to use me as a bargaining chip against my father and spent most of her time and energy on my half siblings.
Fast forward 9 years and I am engaged to a wonderful man. The only problem was my MIL. My husband is an only child with a single mom who had a very hard time letting go. (There were 8 kids in my family including half siblings and step siblings so I was not used to all the attention being focused on one kid). His mom did not have a lot of money and couldn’t help out with the wedding. My dad and mom decided they would split costs between them.
We were doing a small, less expensive wedding on my grandpa’s farm. The restaurant I worked at catered my wedding dinner, my older sister had taken photography classes and was going to take our wedding photos, my brother was officiating, and my uncle was the DJ so those expenses were zero. We needed a tent, tables and chairs, decorations, and my dress and flowers.
My mother, having main character syndrome, wanted to be sure she bought something for my wedding before my dad could. We went dress shopping to one store. We were really only looking for bridesmaids dresses but my mom had me try on a few wedding dresses “just for fun”. There was a dress I liked, but wasn’t 100% sure I wanted it. I told her to see if they could hold it for a few days while we went to a few other dress stores just in case. She said she would and took the dress out while I was getting dressed.
I Walked out to find she had bought the dress. When I tried to protest she said she was paying for it so she could decide for me. I’m very non confrontational and didn’t want to argue. The dress was pretty, but not what I had my heart set on.
The next day, I get a text from MIL playing her role as the victim. She said that I was a terrible person for not including her in the purchase of my dress and she should have been there. I tried to respond that I didn’t know we were actually buying a dress that day and was only supposed to be for bridesmaid’s dresses. She was unhappy but said okay.
My dad and stepmom were oblivious to all of this because they lived in the other side of the country. They were very helpful. My stepmom and I had built a relationship by that point and we were getting along well. She paid for me to fly out and helped me make decorations. Her and my father rented a large beautiful tent for our reception on the farm. It cost more than my dress for these purchases and my mom began to flip out because I was HER daughter. She tried to convince me to cancel the tent and do it in a barn. Her reason was that it might rain. She said to use the barn ecause it was so beautiful and the open slats in the roof were perfect to see stars through. I pointed out that was less rainproof than a tent and she got angry. Meanwhile, my mother is law was angry that she didn’t get to fly across the country on my dad’s dime to help make decorations. I was “leaving her out” even though I sent daily pictures and updates.
My favorite flowers are Cala Lillies but I am allergic to many flowers so I wanted to go the fake flower route. My stepmom created this beautiful bouquet for me that looked so real. My mom did NOT like that and had a real bouquet of roses made telling me that roses were more bridal and fake flowers were ugly. I tried to argue with her and my stepmom told me it wasn’t worth it and said I could use her bouquet to toss and my mom’s to carry. I was chased by bees because of this. My MIL told my husband that she didn’t like any of our decorations and said she did not want to hold fake Cala Lillie’s. I told her that she gets no flowers then.
My mom also did NOT like that she wasn’t in the wedding party like my sisters so she insisted that my dad and her would walk me down the aisle or she would cause a scene. My dad is non confrontational as well and so we let it happen.
Fast forward to the wedding morning. My mom was supposed to do my hair because she does really good hairstyles and one of my sisters was doing everyone’s makeup because she is amazing at it. My mom finally shows up in a bathrobe and wet hair. She tells me that she isn’t going to be able to spend a lot of time on my hair because she needed to get ready. She took 10 minutes to put it in a bun with some curls. Then she stopped my sister from doing my maid of honor’s makeup so she could get hers done. I was fuming but it was too late to find someone else so we made due. My stepmom came down to help with some of the hair and makeup for my bridesmaids. The bridal party spent the night at the venue at my grandpas house so we could get ready quickly together. We told my MIL to be at the house at 10:30 for pictures. She didn’t turn up until 11:15 and so she missed almost all of the pictures. She then texted me on our honeymoon to complain she didn’t get any of the pictures she wanted and how dare I take those moments away from her and her baby boy. I turned off my phone.
The wedding was beautiful and turned out great but I was so ready for it to be over so I wouldn’t have to deal with any of it anymore. I was over the drama.
One note of hilarity is that my mom, my stepmom, and my MIL all showed up in the same dress because they refused to talk to each other. Guess it was a popular MIL dress that year.
This is just one event in my crazy life. I have many more from my childhood to the birth of my children.
submitted by Anniewaitsbutnot4me to CharlotteDobreYouTube [link] [comments]
Fast forward 9 years and I am engaged to a wonderful man. The only problem was my MIL. My husband is an only child with a single mom who had a very hard time letting go. (There were 8 kids in my family including half siblings and step siblings so I was not used to all the attention being focused on one kid). His mom did not have a lot of money and couldn’t help out with the wedding. My dad and mom decided they would split costs between them.
We were doing a small, less expensive wedding on my grandpa’s farm. The restaurant I worked at catered my wedding dinner, my older sister had taken photography classes and was going to take our wedding photos, my brother was officiating, and my uncle was the DJ so those expenses were zero. We needed a tent, tables and chairs, decorations, and my dress and flowers.
My mother, having main character syndrome, wanted to be sure she bought something for my wedding before my dad could. We went dress shopping to one store. We were really only looking for bridesmaids dresses but my mom had me try on a few wedding dresses “just for fun”. There was a dress I liked, but wasn’t 100% sure I wanted it. I told her to see if they could hold it for a few days while we went to a few other dress stores just in case. She said she would and took the dress out while I was getting dressed.
I Walked out to find she had bought the dress. When I tried to protest she said she was paying for it so she could decide for me. I’m very non confrontational and didn’t want to argue. The dress was pretty, but not what I had my heart set on.
The next day, I get a text from MIL playing her role as the victim. She said that I was a terrible person for not including her in the purchase of my dress and she should have been there. I tried to respond that I didn’t know we were actually buying a dress that day and was only supposed to be for bridesmaid’s dresses. She was unhappy but said okay.
My dad and stepmom were oblivious to all of this because they lived in the other side of the country. They were very helpful. My stepmom and I had built a relationship by that point and we were getting along well. She paid for me to fly out and helped me make decorations. Her and my father rented a large beautiful tent for our reception on the farm. It cost more than my dress for these purchases and my mom began to flip out because I was HER daughter. She tried to convince me to cancel the tent and do it in a barn. Her reason was that it might rain. She said to use the barn ecause it was so beautiful and the open slats in the roof were perfect to see stars through. I pointed out that was less rainproof than a tent and she got angry. Meanwhile, my mother is law was angry that she didn’t get to fly across the country on my dad’s dime to help make decorations. I was “leaving her out” even though I sent daily pictures and updates.
My favorite flowers are Cala Lillies but I am allergic to many flowers so I wanted to go the fake flower route. My stepmom created this beautiful bouquet for me that looked so real. My mom did NOT like that and had a real bouquet of roses made telling me that roses were more bridal and fake flowers were ugly. I tried to argue with her and my stepmom told me it wasn’t worth it and said I could use her bouquet to toss and my mom’s to carry. I was chased by bees because of this. My MIL told my husband that she didn’t like any of our decorations and said she did not want to hold fake Cala Lillie’s. I told her that she gets no flowers then.
My mom also did NOT like that she wasn’t in the wedding party like my sisters so she insisted that my dad and her would walk me down the aisle or she would cause a scene. My dad is non confrontational as well and so we let it happen.
Fast forward to the wedding morning. My mom was supposed to do my hair because she does really good hairstyles and one of my sisters was doing everyone’s makeup because she is amazing at it. My mom finally shows up in a bathrobe and wet hair. She tells me that she isn’t going to be able to spend a lot of time on my hair because she needed to get ready. She took 10 minutes to put it in a bun with some curls. Then she stopped my sister from doing my maid of honor’s makeup so she could get hers done. I was fuming but it was too late to find someone else so we made due. My stepmom came down to help with some of the hair and makeup for my bridesmaids. The bridal party spent the night at the venue at my grandpas house so we could get ready quickly together. We told my MIL to be at the house at 10:30 for pictures. She didn’t turn up until 11:15 and so she missed almost all of the pictures. She then texted me on our honeymoon to complain she didn’t get any of the pictures she wanted and how dare I take those moments away from her and her baby boy. I turned off my phone.
The wedding was beautiful and turned out great but I was so ready for it to be over so I wouldn’t have to deal with any of it anymore. I was over the drama.
One note of hilarity is that my mom, my stepmom, and my MIL all showed up in the same dress because they refused to talk to each other. Guess it was a popular MIL dress that year.
This is just one event in my crazy life. I have many more from my childhood to the birth of my children.
2024.05.12 15:51 murderskunk76 Scary Graduation, with Happy Ending
SpoileCW: Mentions of possible infant loss and brief mention of past abuse. This graduation has a very happy ending, but it's been a long three weeks and nothing went quite as expected. I hope everyone is strapped in and ready for a novel.
Please, anyone who reads this, consider my PSA at the end. I never, ever want another mother to experience what I've gone through. What my husband and family has gone through due to sheer ignorance on my part.
My induction was scheduled at 39+6 for 4/20/2024. Har har. We came to the hospital bright and early, 5:00am. Got hooked up and took first dose of cytotec around 7:00am. Started the various laboring positions, epidural was given around 9:00am and second dose of cytotec was given some time after that. Foley balloon went in, felt none of it. Soooo much better than my first induction experience where I felt everything. I opted for no pain management the first time around... with pitocin. I chose differently this time. 😂
I'd say about three hours after starting that pitocin drip the contractions started up in earnest. I felt none of it for a while, then the epidural ran out. Whew boy when I tell you those contractions hit HARD they friggin did. My OB had placed a sensor inside my cervix to measure the strength of my contractions at that point. They were literally off the charts, and I was very calmly, yet urgently requesting my epidural to be refilled and flushed lol. Husband was holding my hand and guiding me through each contraction, he was incredible. Finally got that refill and ahhhhh.... sweet relief. Although my legs (particularly the left one) was absolute dead weight, I had zero problems pushing. I felt no pain, just pressure, and watched our baby girl enter this world via mirror. The experience was amazing and such a stark difference from my first birth. It was so beautiful I started weeping while she was crowning. My doctor and nurses all asked if I was alright, if I felt any pain, and all I could say was "I'm just so happy!" They all laughed and smiled, encouraged me to keep pushing and out she came. Maybe twenty minutes of pushing at most. Wasn't as hard to do with the epidural as I anticipated, I think because I knew how to push being a STM.
Baby girl was 7lbs, 7oz and 20" exactly. Perfect all around. Born with a full head of hair.
Sadly, this is where the experience gets intense. I had what I believed to be an ingrown hair or boil on the outside of my right labia. My OB had seen it earlier that week during my 39 week check up, offered to biopsy but was also under the impression it was just a weird haicyst type thing. During labor, they paint you down with prep (betadine I think?)so she was able to see it more clearly without my pubic hair obscuring it. It concerned her enough she asked to take a biopsy, I agreed as I was numb and trust her entirely. A few days later the pathology came back and it was awful news. Positive for HSV.
By some bizarre twist of fate, we were stuck in the hospital due to a round of testing on me for strange symptoms I developed my second night in the hospital including facial numbness. We had to wait nearly 18 hours for an MRI after they ruled out stroke and a bunch of other terrifying things. This wait kept us in the hospital and according to the neonatalist, may have saved our baby's life. As we were moments from being discharged, a nurse hurried into the room and shared my results with me. My OB had been frantically trying to get the info in to the L&D team and neonatalist, who called me moments later and delivered news that shattered me to my core. He was returning to the hospital immediately, told us we couldn't leave as if our baby tested positive for HSV an infection could result in a 60-70% mortality rate.
My heart sank into the ground. I began sobbing. My husband was in shock and I completely lost my mind. I was so horrified and repulsed by myself I couldn't even touch my own baby. Nurses came in and comforted me, they immediately took our baby to NICU to start testing and I was utterly devastated. I thought I had unwittingly killed our baby. The neonatalist came in the room, the nurses surrounded me and explained that this happens frequently, shockingly. Many people have no idea they carry HSV and breakouts don't always happen consistently. I can count what I now know as breakouts as maybe nine incidents, which occurred over the course of thirteen years. Sadly, I know exactly where the HSV came from as I was abused as a young teen/preteen. The rage and sick I felt was unparalleled to anything I've ever felt before. The doctor assured me that everything was going to be alright, that thankfully we caught this before going home and the baby was showing no signs of infection yet. He needed to perform several tests including skin, blood and spinal which sent me over the edge again. I couldn't bear the thought of our three day old baby being subjected to such things. He told us if all results were negative, it was a ten day NICU stay with antiviral drip for her then she'd be released. Worst case scenario it was in her spinal fluid which would be a 21 day stay and hoping she never presented symptoms.
Waiting for those results was the longest three days of my entire life. I was a zombie. My husband and I went home, I pumped milk like mad and visited our baby often. As did he. Having to explain to family and our daughter what happened was like twisting the knife every. Single. Time. I barely ate or slept. My husband was so very supportive, never held an ounce of anger or accusation against me. He knew where this came from too and only held anger for the shithead who harmed me as a child.
The guilt was so very strong, and in spite of so many nurses, doctors and family members telling me there was no need to feel that way, I couldn't help it. If only I hadn't been so ignorant, if only I had asked for a closer look the week before giving birth, if only if only. Thankfully my support network rallied and kept me from truly diving into the deep end. I focused on pumping for our baby and kept talking about every feeling I was experiencing. By Thursday of that week we finally got our results, all negative.
I cried with joy. I felt as if we experienced a miracle. I cannot speak of the NICU team highly enough. They were literal angels, and the doctor was a godsend.
My birth experience that was so beautifully perfect had been tainted, stolen and dark for me. Now I could let that go and rejoice in the fact we'd be bringing our baby girl home.
We brought her home on May 3rd. She was born April 20th, 7:58pm. One day before becoming two weeks old. She took to nursing like she had been doing it the whole time. She's gaining weight and perfectly healthy. She turned three weeks yesterday and just started smiling in response to ours. I feel so utterly blessed and fortunate that everything is going to be alright.
Please, if you suspect at all you may have a lesion or strange rash while pregnant, get tested for HSV. HSV is herpes. The common one that causes cold sores is just as deadly to infants as genital herpes. I had no idea and felt so stupid for not knowing what was happening to my own body. That I carried this for years without knowing. My breakouts were isolated to one lesion at a time, spaced between years. At least one year between incidents. Everyone's experience with the virus can be different and many are asymptomatic, which makes conventional testing a challenge. C-section can keep your baby safe versus vaginal delivery. There are ways to prevent what happened to me and you can absolutely have a healthy pregnancy with the virus. So long as you receive preventative care.
PSA over, lol.
Now I'm off to enjoy the wee one and cherish my little family. Happy Mother's Day, thanks for reading this far. I wish you all perfect health and deliveries. ❤️
submitted by murderskunk76 to pregnant [link] [comments]
Please, anyone who reads this, consider my PSA at the end. I never, ever want another mother to experience what I've gone through. What my husband and family has gone through due to sheer ignorance on my part.
My induction was scheduled at 39+6 for 4/20/2024. Har har. We came to the hospital bright and early, 5:00am. Got hooked up and took first dose of cytotec around 7:00am. Started the various laboring positions, epidural was given around 9:00am and second dose of cytotec was given some time after that. Foley balloon went in, felt none of it. Soooo much better than my first induction experience where I felt everything. I opted for no pain management the first time around... with pitocin. I chose differently this time. 😂
I'd say about three hours after starting that pitocin drip the contractions started up in earnest. I felt none of it for a while, then the epidural ran out. Whew boy when I tell you those contractions hit HARD they friggin did. My OB had placed a sensor inside my cervix to measure the strength of my contractions at that point. They were literally off the charts, and I was very calmly, yet urgently requesting my epidural to be refilled and flushed lol. Husband was holding my hand and guiding me through each contraction, he was incredible. Finally got that refill and ahhhhh.... sweet relief. Although my legs (particularly the left one) was absolute dead weight, I had zero problems pushing. I felt no pain, just pressure, and watched our baby girl enter this world via mirror. The experience was amazing and such a stark difference from my first birth. It was so beautiful I started weeping while she was crowning. My doctor and nurses all asked if I was alright, if I felt any pain, and all I could say was "I'm just so happy!" They all laughed and smiled, encouraged me to keep pushing and out she came. Maybe twenty minutes of pushing at most. Wasn't as hard to do with the epidural as I anticipated, I think because I knew how to push being a STM.
Baby girl was 7lbs, 7oz and 20" exactly. Perfect all around. Born with a full head of hair.
Sadly, this is where the experience gets intense. I had what I believed to be an ingrown hair or boil on the outside of my right labia. My OB had seen it earlier that week during my 39 week check up, offered to biopsy but was also under the impression it was just a weird haicyst type thing. During labor, they paint you down with prep (betadine I think?)so she was able to see it more clearly without my pubic hair obscuring it. It concerned her enough she asked to take a biopsy, I agreed as I was numb and trust her entirely. A few days later the pathology came back and it was awful news. Positive for HSV.
By some bizarre twist of fate, we were stuck in the hospital due to a round of testing on me for strange symptoms I developed my second night in the hospital including facial numbness. We had to wait nearly 18 hours for an MRI after they ruled out stroke and a bunch of other terrifying things. This wait kept us in the hospital and according to the neonatalist, may have saved our baby's life. As we were moments from being discharged, a nurse hurried into the room and shared my results with me. My OB had been frantically trying to get the info in to the L&D team and neonatalist, who called me moments later and delivered news that shattered me to my core. He was returning to the hospital immediately, told us we couldn't leave as if our baby tested positive for HSV an infection could result in a 60-70% mortality rate.
My heart sank into the ground. I began sobbing. My husband was in shock and I completely lost my mind. I was so horrified and repulsed by myself I couldn't even touch my own baby. Nurses came in and comforted me, they immediately took our baby to NICU to start testing and I was utterly devastated. I thought I had unwittingly killed our baby. The neonatalist came in the room, the nurses surrounded me and explained that this happens frequently, shockingly. Many people have no idea they carry HSV and breakouts don't always happen consistently. I can count what I now know as breakouts as maybe nine incidents, which occurred over the course of thirteen years. Sadly, I know exactly where the HSV came from as I was abused as a young teen/preteen. The rage and sick I felt was unparalleled to anything I've ever felt before. The doctor assured me that everything was going to be alright, that thankfully we caught this before going home and the baby was showing no signs of infection yet. He needed to perform several tests including skin, blood and spinal which sent me over the edge again. I couldn't bear the thought of our three day old baby being subjected to such things. He told us if all results were negative, it was a ten day NICU stay with antiviral drip for her then she'd be released. Worst case scenario it was in her spinal fluid which would be a 21 day stay and hoping she never presented symptoms.
Waiting for those results was the longest three days of my entire life. I was a zombie. My husband and I went home, I pumped milk like mad and visited our baby often. As did he. Having to explain to family and our daughter what happened was like twisting the knife every. Single. Time. I barely ate or slept. My husband was so very supportive, never held an ounce of anger or accusation against me. He knew where this came from too and only held anger for the shithead who harmed me as a child.
The guilt was so very strong, and in spite of so many nurses, doctors and family members telling me there was no need to feel that way, I couldn't help it. If only I hadn't been so ignorant, if only I had asked for a closer look the week before giving birth, if only if only. Thankfully my support network rallied and kept me from truly diving into the deep end. I focused on pumping for our baby and kept talking about every feeling I was experiencing. By Thursday of that week we finally got our results, all negative.
I cried with joy. I felt as if we experienced a miracle. I cannot speak of the NICU team highly enough. They were literal angels, and the doctor was a godsend.
My birth experience that was so beautifully perfect had been tainted, stolen and dark for me. Now I could let that go and rejoice in the fact we'd be bringing our baby girl home.
We brought her home on May 3rd. She was born April 20th, 7:58pm. One day before becoming two weeks old. She took to nursing like she had been doing it the whole time. She's gaining weight and perfectly healthy. She turned three weeks yesterday and just started smiling in response to ours. I feel so utterly blessed and fortunate that everything is going to be alright.
Please, if you suspect at all you may have a lesion or strange rash while pregnant, get tested for HSV. HSV is herpes. The common one that causes cold sores is just as deadly to infants as genital herpes. I had no idea and felt so stupid for not knowing what was happening to my own body. That I carried this for years without knowing. My breakouts were isolated to one lesion at a time, spaced between years. At least one year between incidents. Everyone's experience with the virus can be different and many are asymptomatic, which makes conventional testing a challenge. C-section can keep your baby safe versus vaginal delivery. There are ways to prevent what happened to me and you can absolutely have a healthy pregnancy with the virus. So long as you receive preventative care.
PSA over, lol.
Now I'm off to enjoy the wee one and cherish my little family. Happy Mother's Day, thanks for reading this far. I wish you all perfect health and deliveries. ❤️
2024.05.12 14:44 No-Chemistry-28 Today’s Tubi Treasure is Phobe: The Xenophobic Experiments
 | Oh boy, where to start with this one. This is Canadian, so let’s get that out of the way first. I don’t know why I’m even mentioning this, because there’s a million other crazy things in here, but the main character’s hair is like three hairstyles in one and I was fascinated by it. I laughed at a lot in this movie, and it very much is not supposed to be a comedy. I’m going to link the trailer, but I’m also going to link the director’s IMDb page, because the last sentence of her bio made me laugh really hard. Both of those links below. submitted by No-Chemistry-28 to badMovies [link] [comments] |
2024.05.12 07:29 writernotalover2 [M4F][Reddit/Discord] The Prince and the Dame Knight
Heavy rain battered down the dark roads and forests of the Tellusian Kingdom. Water droplets, like arrows were constantly pelting the ground, never stopping, never faltering. The black mantle of the night sky was briefly interrupted by a large bright light. It was no bonfire at times of mirth or celebration. Nor was it a magical light coming from the heavens to bring succor, hope and salvation.
The light was the unquenchable flames of war that now consumed Castle Tellus. The enemy had broken down the centuries old walls and now they had made their way into the city. The knights, soldiers and militia could not stop the unrelenting assault of the invading forces. The screams of death, fear mixed with the wails of loss. The war had been decided since before blood was drawn. The enemy was strong, cunning and ultimately better than the champions of Tellus. Including the King and his son, Prince Henric. The men of the royal family fell in combat defending the walls in an impossible battle. Prince Henric's mother, the Queen herself soon met her own end when the enemy soldiers captured the keep. The slaughter of the maids, ladies in waiting, the elders who were not fit to fight. All gone.
All but a single horse. The beast's muzzle breathed in and out, exterting all it could. On the black creature's back was a woman. The kingdom's best knight and duelist. A veteran of many battles. One who could have maybe stopped the enemy forces for some time. But ultimately her duty was a different one.
In front of her, the the horse was a smaller, younger figure. Prince Alain. The last in line of the Tellusian royalty. The Prince of Silks, as they called the brown-haired soft prince. He was not a fighter. He was no hero, like his brother Henric. He was a scholar, a diplomat, and ultimately when it came to war: useless.
Why was he spared when his brother died? Why must the younger brother carry the burdens of the family now? The Queen was always soft on the boy. And now she was risking the best knight's life to keep him safe.
Arrows wheezed past the horse, not hitting their target. But riders would soon follow after them. It would take time, but they could not stop. The Prince must live.
/// /// /// /// /// /// ///
Hello everyone! I'm still in the mood for a fantasy epic romance! So now I bring in the story of a young prince and the female knight that serves him! I'd like to avoid "masteservant" roles here and focus on a genuine romance between the two. We can push this into the inappropriateness of a knight getting to close to the royal she serves. Especially if she's much older than him. Maybe she's served his mother before, and thus, she's old enough to be his mother.
I'm not into the "sexy" fantasy look. I don't want chainmail bikinis, but a realistic dame knight, maybe with scars, a strong physique and an elegant if dangerous beauty to her. Has she been married? Or only to her job? For how long has she served the Prince?
Of course we don't need to start this at the siege if you want something more slice of life. They could be just hiding from castle staff during a calm day to share their love, or he's sent to a kingdom far off with her as his bodyguard. We can play this off in so many amazing ways!
LIMITS: Anal sex, Heavy BDSM, Pegging, rimming, degradation (in either direction), Pain, Gore (as part of sex), toilet stuff, porn plots, the use of the word daddy for sex, heavy dom/sub dynamics.
What I like: Athletic women, older women, Romance, pubic hair, creampies, oral sex (both directions), cheating (married/engaged woman), anatomy differences, clothed sex, build up.
submitted by writernotalover2 to AdvLiterateRP [link] [comments]
The light was the unquenchable flames of war that now consumed Castle Tellus. The enemy had broken down the centuries old walls and now they had made their way into the city. The knights, soldiers and militia could not stop the unrelenting assault of the invading forces. The screams of death, fear mixed with the wails of loss. The war had been decided since before blood was drawn. The enemy was strong, cunning and ultimately better than the champions of Tellus. Including the King and his son, Prince Henric. The men of the royal family fell in combat defending the walls in an impossible battle. Prince Henric's mother, the Queen herself soon met her own end when the enemy soldiers captured the keep. The slaughter of the maids, ladies in waiting, the elders who were not fit to fight. All gone.
All but a single horse. The beast's muzzle breathed in and out, exterting all it could. On the black creature's back was a woman. The kingdom's best knight and duelist. A veteran of many battles. One who could have maybe stopped the enemy forces for some time. But ultimately her duty was a different one.
In front of her, the the horse was a smaller, younger figure. Prince Alain. The last in line of the Tellusian royalty. The Prince of Silks, as they called the brown-haired soft prince. He was not a fighter. He was no hero, like his brother Henric. He was a scholar, a diplomat, and ultimately when it came to war: useless.
Why was he spared when his brother died? Why must the younger brother carry the burdens of the family now? The Queen was always soft on the boy. And now she was risking the best knight's life to keep him safe.
Arrows wheezed past the horse, not hitting their target. But riders would soon follow after them. It would take time, but they could not stop. The Prince must live.
/// /// /// /// /// /// ///
Hello everyone! I'm still in the mood for a fantasy epic romance! So now I bring in the story of a young prince and the female knight that serves him! I'd like to avoid "masteservant" roles here and focus on a genuine romance between the two. We can push this into the inappropriateness of a knight getting to close to the royal she serves. Especially if she's much older than him. Maybe she's served his mother before, and thus, she's old enough to be his mother.
I'm not into the "sexy" fantasy look. I don't want chainmail bikinis, but a realistic dame knight, maybe with scars, a strong physique and an elegant if dangerous beauty to her. Has she been married? Or only to her job? For how long has she served the Prince?
Of course we don't need to start this at the siege if you want something more slice of life. They could be just hiding from castle staff during a calm day to share their love, or he's sent to a kingdom far off with her as his bodyguard. We can play this off in so many amazing ways!
LIMITS: Anal sex, Heavy BDSM, Pegging, rimming, degradation (in either direction), Pain, Gore (as part of sex), toilet stuff, porn plots, the use of the word daddy for sex, heavy dom/sub dynamics.
What I like: Athletic women, older women, Romance, pubic hair, creampies, oral sex (both directions), cheating (married/engaged woman), anatomy differences, clothed sex, build up.
2024.05.12 05:45 Gemman_Aster Atomic Shop items you can request through Bethesda Support
As always I shall try to keep this list updated at least once every four weeks until the post is again automatically locked after six months, preventing further edits.
In order to request any of these items you must go to the appropriate link for the Xbox Series X/S, Windows, PS5 or Steam. If you are playing on an older system it is simple to reach its page from one of these direct links. I am sure it goes without saying your player account must have sufficient Atoms available to pay for the item/s you choose. As part of the process Bethesda Support will respond to your request by ticket and email with the total cost of whatever you order.
This page from the Wikia entry for Fallout76 may help with working out some of the bundles' contents. I cannot swear for the accuracy of the data however as with all wikis it is community-created support material.
I have had quite a few comments asking how long you can expect to wait. The answer is that it varies. In my own experience I have had items redeemed for my character within two hours. I have also had to wait for more than a month. Much of the process seems to be automated now and I would say the average time these days seems between two to four days.
This list is up-to-date as of 12.05.2024:
submitted by Gemman_Aster to fo76 [link] [comments]
In order to request any of these items you must go to the appropriate link for the Xbox Series X/S, Windows, PS5 or Steam. If you are playing on an older system it is simple to reach its page from one of these direct links. I am sure it goes without saying your player account must have sufficient Atoms available to pay for the item/s you choose. As part of the process Bethesda Support will respond to your request by ticket and email with the total cost of whatever you order.
This page from the Wikia entry for Fallout76 may help with working out some of the bundles' contents. I cannot swear for the accuracy of the data however as with all wikis it is community-created support material.
I have had quite a few comments asking how long you can expect to wait. The answer is that it varies. In my own experience I have had items redeemed for my character within two hours. I have also had to wait for more than a month. Much of the process seems to be automated now and I would say the average time these days seems between two to four days.
This list is up-to-date as of 12.05.2024:
- Ace Full Assault Power Armor Paint
- Alien Plushie
- Alien Technology Bundle
- Aluminum Trees
- Amateur Inventor's Laser Gun Paint
- American Flag Set
- Angry Fist Shake
- Animatronic Cat
- Appalachian Thunder Pipe Gatling Gun Paint
- Armored Raider Skull Gas Mask
- Armory Weapon Paint Bundle
- Army Issue Plasma Caster Paint
- Astroturf
- Atomic Blast Lamp
- Barbed Chained Tire Set
- Beer Barrel Fridge
- Big Game Hunter
- Big Red Button Icon
- Black Bear Mascot
- Black Cat Bundle
- Black Knight Paint
- Black Pip-Boy Paint
- Black Rider Power Armor
- Blood Eagle Bow Skin
- Blood Eagle Bundle
- Blood Eagle Power Armor Paint
- Blood Eagle Totem
- Bloody Arktos Refrigerator
- Bombs Away Mobile
- Bone and Felt Antler Headband Set
- Bone Gas Mask
- Bonnet
- BOS Backpack
- BOS Scouting Tower
- Bottle Icon
- Boxing Ring
- Brambles
- Brew-haha Bundle
- Brotherhood Armory
- Brotherhood Bundle
- Brotherhood High Tech Stash
- Brotherhood of Steel Digital Deluxe Bundle
- Bubble Blower Machine
- Bucking Brahmin Bundle
- Bucking Brahmin Mask
- Bucking Brahmin Ride
- Bunker Bundle
- Burgundy Modular Sofa Set
- C.A.M.P. Structure Starter Bundle
- Cactus Set
- Camden Park Mega Bundle
- Camo Secret Service Armor Paint
- Camo Secret Service Underarmor
- Camo Utility Cap
- Cappy's Nuka-Cola Train Bundle
- Captain Cosmos Outfit
- Captain Cosmos Power Armor
- Captain Cosmos Power Armor Bundle
- Caravan Trader Outfit
- Carnivorous Plant
- Cash Register Vending Machine
- Castle Bed
- Cat Topiary
- Cement Tire Set
- Chalk Letter Kit
- Charleston Fire Station
- Charleston Fire Station Bundle
- Christmas Sitting Room Bundle
- Cinder Blocks Wallpaper
- Clandestine Gauss Weapons Bundle
- Clandestine Service Gauss Shotgun Paint
- Clandestine Service Minigun Paint
- Classic Jukebox
- Classic Performance Stage
- Classic Western Bundle
- Classical Column
- Classy Girl Player Icon
- Clean Bathroom Bundle
- Clean Billboard
- Clean Boxing Ring
- Clean Chally Outfit
- Clean Mannequin Set
- Clean Shower
- Clean Sink
- Clean Small Generator
- Clean Toilet
- Clean Water Purifier
- Clean White Picket Fences
- Coal Duster Excavator Power Armor Paint
- Coffin Backpack
- Coffin Decoration
- Coffin Stash Box
- Collectron Bundle
- Colored Oval Lights
- Comforts of Home Bundle
- Comin' to Town Bundle
- Communal Firepit
- Communist Bunker
- Communist Collectron Station
- Communist Fence
- Communist Handmade Gun Skin
- Communist Militant Outfit
- Communist Military Safe Stash Box
- Communist Officer's Gas Mask
- Communist Salute Emote
- Communist Spy Bundle
- Communist Spy Outfit
- Contemporary C.A.M.P. Bundle
- Cowboy Hat
- Cowhide Outfit
- Creepy Mothman Player Icon
- Crypt Crook Backpack
- Cuddles Outfit
- Cultist Dungeon Bundle
- Dark Harlequin Face Paint
- Dark Matter Combat Rifle Paint
- Dark Wood Laminate
- Dart Board
- Dead Man's Hand Posters
- Death Awaits Skull Totem
- Death Ray Bug Zapper
- Decorative Room Divider
- Deep Cave Bundle
- Deep Cave Hunter Outfit
- Diamond Eyes Face Paint
- Down Home Comfort Bundle
- Down Home Dweller Bundle
- Down Home Wallpaper Set
- Duster
- Easter Bundle
- Easter Rabbit Plushie
- Electro 2000 Fireplace
- Elm Tree Set
- Encampment Bridge
- Encampment Fences
- Encampment Fortress Bundle
- Enclave Backpack
- Enclave Bundle
- Enclave C.A.M.P. Bundle
- Enclave Power Armor Paint
- Enclave Turret Set
- Equalizer Power Armor Paint
- Eye Patch Bundle
- F.E.T.C.H. Collectron Station
- Fancy Thanksgiving Display Case
- Farm Life C.A.M.P. Bundle
- Fasnacht Bundle
- Fasnacht C.A.M.P. Bundle
- Fasnacht Collectron Station
- Fasnacht Mask Bundle
- Fasnacht Mask Display
- Fasnacht Mystical Mask Bundle
- Fat Man Aviator Paint
- Feral Ghoul Bundle
- Feral Ghoul Costume
- Fez
- Fire Chief Bundle
- Fire Hazard Backpack
- Firewatch Tower
- Firing Range Posters
- Fish Lamp
- Floor Walker Outfit
- Flower Cart
- Fluorescent Light Set
- Flyboy Bundle
- Flyboy Icon
- Flyboy Outfit
- Four Poster Bed
- Free States Scout Armor Paint
- Freedom Stars Neon Sign
- Freight Wagon
- Fringed Dress
- Future-Tec Bundle
- Gag Glasses Bundle
- Gala Dress
- Gala Tuxedo
- Gatling Plasma Copperhead Paint
- Ghillie Netting Bundle
- Ghoul Icon
- Giant Neon Letters
- Gladiator Outfit
- Glow-in-the-Dark Map
- Gold 50 Cal Machine Gun Paint
- Gold Mr. Fuzzy Kiddie Ride
- Gold Mr. Rocket Kiddie Ride
- Golden Years Set
- Good Fortunes Bundle
- Grafton Monster Mascot Outfit
- Grahm Plushie
- Grahm's Green Bundle
- Green Thumb Bundle
- Greenhouse Kit
- Greenhouse Kit Bundle
- Grognak Battlecry
- Grognak Hero Bundle
- Grognak Plushie
- Gurney Bed Set
- H.A.R.E. Power Armor Skin
- Halberd
- Halloween C.A.M.P. Bundle
- Halo and Horns Set
- Hammock
- Hanging Planters
- Haunted House C.A.M.P. Bundle
- Haunted House Floor
- Haunted House Porch Set
- Haunted House Staircase
- Hay Bales
- Heart Balloons
- Hellcat Outfit Bundle
- Hellfire Regulator Power Armor Paint
- Hero Statue Set
- High-Powered Weapon Racks
- High-Tech Stash
- Holiday Nuclear Tree
- Holiday Tree
- Holidays Emote Bundle
- Hot Tub
- Hubris Comics Magazine Rack
- Hubris Comics Wallpaper
- Hunting Lodge Bundle
- I Survived!
- Imposter Assaultron Head
- Inflatable Snowman
- Inner Tube Deck Chair
- Jail Walls
- Junk Fences
- Junkyard C.A.M.P. Bundle
- Junkyard Dog Collectron Station
- Junkyard Power Armor Paint
- Kill, Laugh, Love Neon Sign
- Landscape Painting
- Large Nuka-Cola Bottle
- Large Succulent Set
- Laser Grid Door
- Laundered Blue Dress
- Laundered Cream Dress
- Laundered Rose Dress
- Leper'chaun Outfit
- Leprechaun Bundle
- Leprechaun Outfit
- Liberator Bot Lamp
- Liberty Prime Power Armor Skin Set
- Light Bulb Letters Set
- Light Wood Laminate
- Lion Dancer Outfit
- Log Cabin Kit
- Log Cabin Porch Set
- Lover Girl Icon
- Lucille's Lullaby
- Lumberjack Bundle
- Lumberjack Outfit
- Makeshift Mega Mansion
- Mascot Head
- Matte Black Equalizer Power Armor Paint
- Matte Black Handmade Paint
- Mausoleum Bundle
- Meat Cooler Backpack
- Medical Scrubs
- Medical Smile Mask
- Medieval C.A.M.P. Bundle
- Megaton Hairstyle
- Military Beret Bundle
- Mini Deathclaw Statue
- Mini Nuke Planter
- Mini Power Armor Statue
- Minigun Chrome Paint
- Missile Silo Shelter
- Missile Silo Shelter Bundle
- Mob Boss Bundle
- Modern Ceiling Fan
- Modern Fireplace
- Modular Mainframe Set
- Mole Rat Generator Suite
- Mole Rat Icon
- Mole Rats Painting
- Monocle
- Montani Semper Liberi
- Moonshine Mama Mask
- Mosaic Tiles
- Mothman Bed
- Mothman Cultist C.A.M.P. Bundle
- Mothman Cultist Goat Totem
- Mothman Cultist Icon
- Mothman Cultist Torches
- Mothman Curtain Door
- Mothman Frame
- Mothman Furniture Set
- Mothman Gas Mask
- Mothman Hunter Bundle
- Mothman Hunter Outfit
- Mothman Jetpack
- Mothman Neon Billboards
- Mothman Outfit Bundle
- Mothman Pip-Boy Paint
- Mothman Plushie Backpack
- Mothman Poster
- Mothman Power Armor Paints and Lamp
- Mothman Sleeping Bag
- Mothman Statue
- Mothman Traveler Bundle
- Mothman Wallpaper Bundle
- Mothman Worship Emote
- Mountaineer Outfit
- Mounted Fish Set
- Mounted Radhog Head
- Movie Poster Set
- Mr. Claus Player Icon
- Mr. Claus' Suit
- Mr. Fuzzy Backpack
- Mr. Fuzzy Balloon Animal
- Mr. Fuzzy Cowboy Plushie
- Mr. Fuzzy Halloween Plushie
- Mr. Fuzzy Kiddie Ride
- Mr. Fuzzy New Year's Plushie
- Mr. Fuzzy Player Icon
- Mr. Fuzzy Power Armor Helmet
- Mr. Fuzzy Tinker's Workbench
- Mr. Fuzzy Valentine's Day Plushie
- Mr. Pebbles Lamp
- Mr. Pebbles Plushie
- Mr. Pebbles Space Explorer Backpack
- Mr. Rocket Kiddie Ride
- Mrs. Claus' Dress
- Mrs. Claus Player Icon
- Mudflap Hat Set
- Mummy Dearest Icon
- Mushroom Lamp
- Mutant Dummy
- Nautical Anchor Tattoo
- Neighborhood Square Shelter
- Neon Palm Reader Sign
- Neon Sign Set
- New Year's Banner
- New Year's Eve Bundle
- New Year's Icon
- New Year's Tuxedos Bundle
- Night Eyes Icon
- Night Terror Gauss Rifle Paint
- No Thank You Emote
- No Way Emote
- Northern Lights Paint T-51 Power Armor Paint
- Nuclear Winter Poster Set
- Nuka-Cola Bottle Display Rack
- Nuka-Cola Bundle
- Nuka-Cola Cask Stool
- Nuka-Cola Cooler
- Nuka-Cola Cooler Backpack
- Nuka-Cola Curtain Door
- Nuka-Cola Dark Power Armor Paints
- Nuka-Cola Delivery Bundle
- Nuka-Cola Jumpsuit Set
- Nuka-Cola Neon Sign
- Nuka-Cola Projection Lamp
- Nuka-Cola Quantum Bottle Lamp
- Nuka-Cola Quantum Bundle
- Nuka-Cola Quantum Sign
- Nuka-Cola Secret Door Bundle
- Nuka-Cola Stained Glass Lamps
- Nuka-Cola Vending Machine
- Nuka-Cola Wallpaper Set
- Nuka-Girl Rocketsuit
- Old Man Summer Mask
- Old Possum Bar Sign
- Old West Bar Set
- Ole Timey Diner Bundle
- Outhouse
- Pack Rat Backpack
- Pajamas
- Pale Rider Photoframe
- Pale Rider Power Armor
- Pallet Wood Floor
- Pallet Wood Wallpaper
- Parachute Backpack
- Park Ranger Bundle
- Park Ranger Power Armor Skin
- Patriotic The Fixer Paint
- Pickaxe Pilsner Bar Sign
- Pink Neon Heart Sign
- Pipe Organ
- Pitt Scaffold Kit
- Plague Doctor Mask
- Plain Curtain Door
- Plasma Ball Set
- Plotting Table
- Plushie C.A.M.P. Bundle
- Poodle Skirt
- Portrait Secret Door
- Potted Succulents
- Pristine Moe the Mole Outfit
- Pumpkin Vault Girl Head
- Raider Collectron Station
- Raider Culinarian Outfit
- Raider Pathfinder Outfit
- Raider Salute
- Raider Skinner Outfit
- Raider Skull Gas Mask
- Raider Vending Machine
- Raider Warlord Outfit
- Raider Waster Bundle
- Rain Water Collector
- Raven Perch
- Red Enamel Stove
- Red Menace Backpack
- Red Menace Bundle
- Red Modular Mainframe
- Red Rocket Diner Set
- Red Rocket Door
- Red Rocket Garage
- Red Rocket Mega Furniture Bundle
- Red Rocket Power Connectors
- Red Rocket Ranger Power Armor Bundle
- Red Rocket Stash Box
- Red Scare Power Armor Skin
- Red Shift Backpack
- Red Shift Floor
- Red Shift Power Armor Skin
- Responder Power Armor Paint
- Responders Bundle
- Rest in Pieces C.A.M.P. Bundle
- Revolutionary Bundle
- Revolutionary Outfit
- Roadtripper Outfit
- Robber Halloween Bundle
- RobCo Snow Machine
- Robot Steins Display Case
- Rocket Ceiling Fan
- Round Deck Table
- RR Ranger Power Armor Paint
- Rusted Chain link Fence
- Rusted Junkyard Power Armor Paint
- Rustic Fountain
- Rustic Greenhouse Bundle
- Rustic Greenhouse Kit
- Rustic Room Divider
- Rustic Sink
- Rusty Raider Skull Gas Mask
- Samurai Outfit
- Santa Bag Backpack
- Santa Statue
- Santa's Slay Power Armor Bundle
- Santatron Collectron Station
- Satellite Dish
- Scavenger Collectron Station
- Screaming Eagle Handmade Gun Skin
- Screaming Eagle Wood Skin
- Secret Service Backpack
- Secret Service Bobblehead Stand
- Secret Service Camo Bundle
- Secret Stash Bookcase
- Seedy Shed
- Sequin Dress
- Shadow Prime Power Armor Skin
- Share the Love Bundle
- Sheepsquatch Plushie
- Shelter Catwalk Bundle
- Shelters Mainframe Bundle
- Shogatsu Bundle
- Silver Shroud Costume
- Silver Shroud Plushie
- Six Pack Loot Bag
- Skull Lord War Suit
- Skull Mask
- Skull Totem Set
- Slocum's Joe C.A.M.P. Bundle
- Slocum's Joe Coffee Machine
- Snow Globe Lamp
- Snowglobe
- Solid Color Wallpaper Set
- Space Suit
- Spiked Barricade
- Spikehawk Hairstyle
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2024.05.12 00:16 DereLu_Defo-Angels33 My desire to plan everything prevents me from giving free rein to my Sims' actions.
My brain automatically starts thinking about how the plot of my dynasty will continue. I just saw some hairstyle and that started it.
"Oh, this is the hairstyle the next heiress should wear! Her name should be Daphne. And she should also have a twin sister named Philippa. Exactly. Philippa should be a nerd. Daphne will inherit the “erudite” character trait from her father, and when she grows up she will become an artist. First of all, she must give birth to a boy. And if a girl is born, her name will be Cassiopeia. Yes. And Philippa will marry one of the Goths. Great."
Also just want to tell you that Bella Goth broke up with Mortimer and married some homeless character, automatically generated by the game. Now her name is Bella Lukin and she is expecting a child.
submitted by DereLu_Defo-Angels33 to Sims4 [link] [comments]
"Oh, this is the hairstyle the next heiress should wear! Her name should be Daphne. And she should also have a twin sister named Philippa. Exactly. Philippa should be a nerd. Daphne will inherit the “erudite” character trait from her father, and when she grows up she will become an artist. First of all, she must give birth to a boy. And if a girl is born, her name will be Cassiopeia. Yes. And Philippa will marry one of the Goths. Great."
Also just want to tell you that Bella Goth broke up with Mortimer and married some homeless character, automatically generated by the game. Now her name is Bella Lukin and she is expecting a child.
2024.05.11 23:16 Relative-Ring-5721 troubbleshooting
 | hello guys i have the following problem the hairs of the charakter yollow but it should be bleached :O submitted by Relative-Ring-5721 to Fallout4Mods [link] [comments] https://preview.redd.it/zclbskpb6vzc1.png?width=1010&format=png&auto=webp&s=1e5bc3364cc2e51f27941832f2a0d178638282c5 |
2024.05.11 21:13 SanderSo47 Directors at the Box Office: Wes Craven
 | https://preview.redd.it/5jhcjegtjuzc1.png?width=1920&format=png&auto=webp&s=71a26f361e87730152e07e12f1bc76322db0b023 submitted by SanderSo47 to boxoffice [link] [comments] Here's a new edition of "Directors at the Box Office", which seeks to explore the directors' trajectory at the box office and analyze their hits and bombs. I already talked about a few, and as I promised, it's Wes Craven's turn. Craven earned a master's degree in philosophy and writing from Johns Hopkins University. He subsequently bought a 16mm film camera and began making short movies. His friend Steve Chapin informed him of a messenger position at a New York City film production co, where his brother, future folk-rock star Harry Chapin worked. He started in the industry as a sound editor, before transitioning as a porn director. He said he made "many hardcore X-rated films" under pseudonyms. And then he transitioned into directing for the big screen. From a box office perspective, how reliable was he to deliver a box office hit? That's the point of this post. To analyze his career. It should be noted that as he started his career in the 1970s, some of the domestic grosses here will be adjusted by inflation. The table with his highest grossing films, however, will be left in its unadjusted form, as the worldwide grosses are more difficult to adjust.The Last House on the Left (1972)"Mari, seventeen, is dying. Even for her, the worst is yet to come."His directorial debut. The film stars Sandra Peabody, Lucy Grantham, David Hess, Fred J. Lincoln, Jeramie Rain, and Marc Sheffler. The plot follows Mari Collingwood, a teenager who is abducted, raped, and tortured by a family of violent fugitives led by Krug Stillo on her seventeenth birthday. When her parents discover what happened to her, they seek vengeance against the family, who have taken shelter at their home. Craven, who had no money at the time, was put on the job of synchronizing dailies for Sean S. Cunningham's Together. They became friends, and Hallmark Releasing gave them $90,000 to make another film. Craven considered a hardcore film, but decided to tone it down a bit. The idea for this film came from Ingmar Bergman's The Virgin Spring, and Craven wanted to make a film in which the violence would be shown in detail onscreen, as he felt that many popular films of the era, such as Westerns, glamorized violence and the "vigilante hero", and gave the public a misleading representation of death in the wake of the Vietnam War. The film attracted negative media attention for its heavy graphic content, and there were calls for some theaters to drop the film. But you know, bad buzz is still buzz and that translated to a pretty good run in theaters, earning up to $3 million in its initial run. Even to this day, the film is polarizing due to its violence and themes. But Craven just made his name well known.
The Hills Have Eyes (1977)"A nice American family. They didn't want to kill. But they didn't want to die."His second film. The film stars Susan Lanier, Michael Berryman and Dee Wallace. The film follows the Carters, a suburban family targeted by a family of cannibal savages after becoming stranded in the Nevada desert. Craven wanted to make a non-horror, but he found that his investors only wanted films with graphic content. At the New York Public Library, Craven checked the library's forensics department, and learned of the legend of Sawney Bean - the alleged head of a 48-person Scottish clan responsible for the murder and cannibalization of more than one thousand people. He drew influences from this, The Texas Chain Saw Massacre and The Grapes of Wrath. Craven also had to cut a lot of scenes to avoid getting an X rating. The film once again drew negative attention for its violence. But it made over $25 million at the box office, which was an even bigger success than House. It subsequently earned a cult following.
Deadly Blessing (1981)"Pray you're not blessed."His third film. It stars Ernest Borgnine, Maren Jensen, Susan Buckner, and Sharon Stone, and tells the story of a strange figure committing murder in a contemporary community that is not far from another community that believes in ancient evil and curses. It received negative reviews, but it was another box office success for Craven.
Swamp Thing (1982)"Science transformed him into a monster. Love changed him even more!"His fourth film. Based on the DC Comics character created by Len Wein and Bernie Wrightson, it stars Louis Jourdan and Adrienne Barbeau. It tells the story of scientist Alec Holland who is transformed into the monster known as Swamp Thing through laboratory sabotage orchestrated by the evil Anton Arcane. Later, he helps a woman named Alice Cable and battles the man responsible for it all, the ruthless Arcane. The film made $2.5 million domestically, despite mixed reviews.
A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)"If Nancy doesn't wake up screaming, she won't wake up at all."His fifth film. It stars Heather Langenkamp, John Saxon, Ronee Blakley, Johnny Depp, and Robert Englund. The film's plot concerns a group of teenagers who are targeted by Freddy Krueger, an undead child killer who can murder people through their dreams, as retribution against their parents who burned him alive. The film was inspired by several newspaper articles printed in the Los Angeles Times in the 1970s about Hmong refugees, who, after fleeing to the United States because of war and genocide in Laos, Cambodia, and Vietnam, suffered disturbing nightmares and refused to sleep. Some of the men died in their sleep soon after. This, along with the song "Dream Weaver" by Gary Wright, motivated Craven to craft a horror film focused on people dying through their sleep. The film's villain, Freddy Krueger, is drawn from Craven's early life. One night, a young Craven saw an elderly man walking on the sidepath outside the window of his home. The man stopped to glance at a startled Craven and walked off. This served as the inspiration for Krueger. Initially, Fred Krueger was intended to be a child molester, but Craven eventually characterized him as a child murderer to avoid being accused of exploiting a spate of highly publicized child molestation cases that occurred in California around the time of the film's production. He settled on the name Freddy Krueger, which was based on a childhood bully of his. The process of writing the film went smoothly, the real problem was finding a studio. Craven sent it to most studios, and all rejected it. The first studio to show interest was Disney, but Craven declined their offer as they wanted a more toned-down kid-friendly PG-13 flick. When Paramount and Universal also turned it down, Craven decided to go to the independent studio New Line Cinema. The studio only distributed films, but they agreed in financing the film. As they lacked the financial resources for the production, New Line had to turn to external financiers. Despite opening in just 165 theaters, the film earned $1.2 million in its opening weekend, making it clear that it would be an immediate box office success. It eventually closed with $25 million domestically, and $57 million worldwide. It received critical acclaim, and has been referred as one of the best and most influential slashers ever made. Freddy Krueger would soon be hailed as one of the most emblematic figures of horror, and Craven quickly earned a reputation as a horror legend. But most importantly, it was the beginning of New Line Cinema as a studio, which is why it's referred as "the house that Freddy built." The film would later spawn a franchise, although Craven wouldn't direct any of the "sequels." Why the quotation marks? We'll get to that later on.
The Hills Have Eyes Part II (1985)"So you think you're lucky to be alive."His sixth film. The sequel to The Hills Have Eyes, it stars Tamara Stafford, Kevin Spirtas, John Bloom, Michael Berryman, Penny Johnson, Janus Blythe, John Laughlin, Willard E. Pugh, Peter Frechette and Robert Houston. It follows a group of bikers who become stranded in the desert and find themselves fighting off a family of inbred cannibals who live off the land. The film was shot on a very low budget, and it simply ended prematurely because they ran out of funds. There are no box office numbers available, but it received awful reviews. Deadly Friend (1986)"There's no one alive who'll play with the girl next door."His seventh film. Based on the novel Friend by Diana Henstell, it stars Matthew Laborteaux, Kristy Swanson, Michael Sharrett, Anne Twomey, Richard Marcus, and Anne Ramsey. Its plot follows a teenage computer prodigy who implants a robot's processor into the brain of his teenage neighbor after she is pronounced brain dead; the experiment proves successful, but she swiftly begins a killing spree in their neighborhood. Craven wanted to make a PG-rated science fiction film, with a similar tone to Starman, hoping to prove that he could make something that wasn't horror-themed. An unfinished version of the film was screened to a test audience of Craven's fanbase, and it was poorly received for its lack of violence and gore like his previous films. So WB decided to rewrite the film, adding more scenes with tons of gore. This made the final film appear tonally jumbled, and it went from easy PG to struggling to not get an X rating. The film was poorly received for its story and inconsistent tone. It also marked a huge flop at the box office, not even hitting $10 million. Craven lost interest in the film after WB inserted their own version, and he has since disowned the film.
The Serpent and the Rainbow (1988)"Don't bury me, I'm not dead!"His eighth film. It stars Bill Pullman, and is loosely based on the life of ethnobotanist Wade Davis, recounting his experiences in Haiti investigating the story of Clairvius Narcisse, who was allegedly poisoned, buried alive, and revived with a herbal brew which produced what was called a zombie. The film received mixed reactions, but it was a much needed box office success for Craven.
Shocker (1989)"No more Mr. Nice Guy."His ninth film. It stars Michael Murphy, Peter Berg, Cami Cooper, and Mitch Pileggi, and follows a serial killer who uses electricity to come back from the dead and carry out his vengeance on the football player who turned him in to the police. Another mixed bag for Craven, but it was still profitable.
The People Under the Stairs (1991)"In every neighborhood, there's one house that adults whisper about and children cross the street to avoid."His tenth film. It stars Brandon Adams, Everett McGill, Wendy Robie, and A. J. Langer. The plot follows a young boy and two adult robbers who become trapped in a house belonging to a neighborhood's crooked landlords after breaking in to steal their collection of gold coins as the boy learns a dark secret about them and what also lurks in their house. After a slate of mixed performers, the film received Craven's best reviews since Elm Street. To the surprise of Universal, it was also a box office success.
Wes Craven's New Nightmare (1994)"This time, the terror doesn't stop at the screen."His 11th film. The installment in the A Nightmare on Elm Street franchise, it stars Robert Englund, Heather Langenkamp, Miko Hughes and John Saxon. The film is not part of the same continuity as previous films, and it portrays Freddy Krueger as a fictional movie villain who invades the real world and haunts the cast and crew involved in the making of the films about him. While Craven co-wrote the franchise's third installment, Dream Warriors, he wasn't that involved with the rest of the franchise. He wanted to make a deliberately more cerebral film than recent entries to the franchise, as he considered them as being cartoonish, and not faithful to his original themes. Specifically, he wanted Freddy to resemble his original vision: far darker and less comical. To reinforce this, the character's make-up and outfit were enhanced, with one of the most prominent differences being that he now wears a long blue/black trenchcoat. In addition, the signature glove was redesigned for a more organic look, with the fingers resembling bones and having muscle textures in between. The film received high praise, and was considered as the best film in the franchise since the original (it was Englund's favorite). But the franchise has been bleeding interest at the box office, and New Nightmare unfortunately had to suffer. It was profitable, but it became the lowest grossing film in the franchise.
Vampire in Brooklyn (1995)"A comic tale of horror and seduction."His 12th film. It stars Eddie Murphy, Angela Bassett, Allen Payne, Kadeem Hardison, John Witherspoon, Zakes Mokae, and Joanna Cassidy. It follows a Caribbean vampire who seduces a Brooklyn police officer who has no idea that she is half-vampire. The film had awful reviews, and despite the presence of a huge star like Eddie Murphy, it disappointed at the box office. Craven really needed a hit.
Scream (1996)"Someone has taken their love of scary movies one step too far."His 13th film. It stars David Arquette, Neve Campbell, Courteney Cox, Matthew Lillard, Rose McGowan, Skeet Ulrich and Drew Barrymore. Set in the fictional town of Woodsboro, California, Scream's plot follows high school student Sidney Prescott and her friends, who, on the anniversary of her mother's murder, become the targets of a costumed serial killer known as Ghostface. As he was trying to make it in the industry, Kevin Williamson watched a Turning Point documentary about serial killer Danny Rolling which he said left him unsettled. Williamson later noticed an open window, armed himself with a knife, and called his friend for support. The pair began discussing horror characters that had resonated with them such as Freddy Krueger and Jason Voorhees. This experience prompted Williamson to start developing a concept wherein a girl is haunted by a caller. He started writing a film titled Scary Movie, and even left an outline for possible sequels. The concept was part of an era where there was debate over the influence of cinematic violence on audience, with Williamson coming up with a brilliant line "movies don't create psychos, movies make psychos more creative." It was inspired by many 1980s slashers, even though the genre was on decline by that point. His characters were intentionally designed to be knowledgeable about these horror films and their typical elements, with the intention of creating a unique killer who was not only aware of horror film clichés but also exploited them for his own advantage. While Williamson struggled with his previous films, this script was part of a bidding war with the studios, to the point that Oliver Stone himself wanted to direct it. Miramax (through Dimension Films) bought the script, and Williamson made some rewrites to scale back the violence. Bob Weinstein also wanted to change the name, as he believed the audiences would think the film is a comedy. The studio considered Danny Boyle, Tom McLoughlin, Sam Raimi, Robert Rodriguez, George A. Romero, Quentin Tarantino, and Anthony Waller as prime candidates to direct the film, but they all preferred to view the film as a comedy. Wes Craven was considered, but the studio believed he couldn't direct a satire. Craven also wasn't planning on directing it, as he wanted to focus on more mainstream films to salvage his career. Craven's assistant Julie Plec (who would collaborate with Williamson on The Vampire Diaries) convinced him in helming the project. By signing, Craven decided to get back some of the gore that was missing in the previous drafts. A huge contrast to the horror films of the era was that the film had established actors as the leads, as Craven and Williamson wanted to prove that no character was safe. Drew Barrymore had already starred in a few recognizable names, Neve Campbell was on the hit show Party of Five, Rose McGowan was known for Encino Man and The Doom Generation, David Arquette, Matthew Lillard and Skeet Ulrich were recognizable supporting characters, and Courteney Cox obviously was known for Friends. Vince Vaughn and Natasha Lyonne were the preferred choices for Billy and Tatum, but external problems caused them to drop out. After viewing the dailies raw footage, the Weinsteins criticized the quality of Craven's work as "workmanlike at best", believing it lacked tension and had an inconsistent tone. The Weinsteins also disliked the mask design, and said Barrymore lacked sex appeal because of the pageboy hairstyle she had chosen. While filming the final fight, Campbell's stuntwoman accidentally stabbed Ulrich with an umbrella tip, missing the protective vest he was wearing and hitting the site of an open heart surgery Ulrich had as a child. During post-production, Harvey Weinstein decided to name the film as Scream based on the Michael and Janet Jackson song. In a surprising move, the Weinsteins decided to release the film during the holiday season as counter-programming, offering teenagers an alternative to more traditional holiday fare. The decision was unpopular with the cast and crew, with Williamson expecting the film to fail. The film opened with $6.4 million and finishing in fourth place, leading analysts to consider the film as a bomb. But the film just kept growing. Buoyed by positive word of mouth, the Weinsteins increased marketing and the film managed to increase in its second and third weekends. It closed with $103 million domestically and $173 million worldwide, becoming the highest grossing slasher film ever and Craven's highest grossing film ever. The film received critical acclaim for its characters and writing, and has since been deemed as one of the most influential horror films of all time. It rekindled interest in horror, resurrected Craven's career and launched the careers of Williamson and the cast.
Scream 2 (1997)"Someone has taken their love of sequels one step too far."His 14th film. The sequel to Scream, it stars David Arquette, Neve Campbell, Courteney Cox, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Jamie Kennedy, Laurie Metcalf, Jerry O'Connell, Elise Neal, Timothy Olyphant, Jada Pinkett, and Liev Schreiber. The film takes place two years after the first film and again follows the character of Sidney Prescott, along with other survivors of the Woodsboro massacre, at the fictional Windsor College in Ohio where they are targeted by a copycat killer using the guise of Ghostface. As Williamson already had plans for sequels, the idea was for Sidney to attend college while being stalked by a copycat Ghostface killer. As filming began, Williamson's script had four killers: Derek, Hallie, Cotton Weary, and Nancy Loomis. But after Williamson transferred his script to the production, it was leaked onto the Internet in full, revealing the identity of the killers and a large amount of the involved plot. This resulted in the production continuing to film with only a partial script while Williamson conducted extensive rewrites, changing much of the film's finale, the identities of the film's killers and drastically altering the roles of other characters such as Randy Meeks and Joel. With a short deadline, Williamson couldn't fully compromise on the final script, forcing Craven to fill in the gaps himself. So the film was one of the very first cases where the Internet leaked major aspects of a film. As the Weinsteins wanted the film ready for December, it was able to capitalize on the audience's word of mouth to the original. It opened with $32 million in its first weekend, almost five times as big as the original, and the biggest December debut. It didn't hold as great as the original due to the competition, such as Titanic, but it still made $172.3 million worldwide, almost matching the original's gross. It also received very positive reviews, and so a profitable franchise was already underway.
Music of the Heart (1999)"She gave them a gift they could never imagine. They gave the system a fight it would never forget."His 15th film. The film stars Meryl Streep, Aidan Quinn, Angela Bassett, Gloria Estefan, Jane Leeves, Kieran Culkin and Jay O. Sanders. The film is a dramatization of the true story of Roberta Guaspari, who co-founded the Opus 118 Harlem School of Music and fought for music education funding in New York City public schools. After seeing the documentary Small Wonders, Craven was inspired to make a full-length film about Guaspari. Madonna was originally signed to play the role of Guaspari, but left the project before filming began, citing "creative differences" with Craven. When she left, Madonna had already studied for many months to play the violin. Streep learned to play Bach's Concerto for 2 Violins for the film. The project marked a huge departure for Craven; it was his first and only film to be rated PG, and his only one to not be horror or thriller. It received generally positive reviews, but it bombed at the box office. It received 2 Oscar nominations for Best Actress and Best Original Song, the only Craven film to get any noms.
Scream 3 (2000)"The most terrifying scream is always the last."His 16th film. The third installment in the Scream franchise, it stars David Arquette, Neve Campbell, Courteney Cox Arquette, Parker Posey, Patrick Dempsey, Scott Foley, Lance Henriksen, Matt Keeslar, Jenny McCarthy, Emily Mortimer, Deon Richmond, and Patrick Warburton. The film's story takes place one year after the previous film's events and follows Sidney Prescott, who has gone into self-imposed isolation following the events of the previous two films but is drawn to Hollywood after a new Ghostface begins killing the cast of the film within a film Stab 3. The plans for a sequel were already underway since Williamson sold the script, although Williamson still didn't write a script yet. When the Weinsteins approached him to write the film, Williamson was already busy with many projects (including his directorial debut), and was unavailable to perform his duties. He only made a 20-page outline wherein Ghostface would return just as production on a fictional film Stab 3 would be filmed. His plan was to show the killers were part of a Stab fan club (this idea would later be adapted into his show, The Following). With Williamson not available, Ehren Kruger was tasked in writing. Shortly before production began on the film, the Columbine High School massacre took place, and many parties began looking for reasoning behind the shooters' actions and there came an increased scrutiny on the role of the media in society, including video games and film, and the influence it could have on an audience. With production of Scream 3 not yet underway, there were considerations about whether the film should be made at that time, aware of the potential for negative attention but the studio decided to press forward, albeit with changes. The Weinsteins demanded to scale back on the gore and emphasize its satiric humor, as well as moving the setting to Hollywood. At one point in the production, the studio went as far as demanding that the film feature no blood or on-screen violence at all, a drastic departure for the series, but Craven directly intervened. One of the aspects changed was that the killer would be revealed to be Stu Macher, having survived the original film. The Weinsteins changed it after Columbine, as they didn't want to associate violence and murder with a high school setting. The film opened with $34.7 million, a franchise record and the biggest February debut ever. But it had weak legs, although it still made a very profitable $161.8 million worldwide. While the previous films were well-received, this film received negative reviews, who lambasted the film for becoming the very own thing it satirizes.
Cursed (2005)"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."His 17th film. It stars Christina Ricci, Joshua Jackson, Jesse Eisenberg, Judy Greer, Scott Baio, Milo Ventimiglia, Shannon Elizabeth and Mýa, and follows two orphaned siblings attacked by a werewolf loose in Los Angeles. Kevin Williamson started working on a script that followed the exploits of a New York City serial killer who discovers that his lethal tendencies are due to his lycanthrope nature. When one of his projects was scrapped, Craven decided to direct, teaming them up again for another Scream reunion. But it wasn't planned like that. Craven was making a film, Pulse, when Bob Weinstein abruptly pulled the movie from the schedule ten days before shooting and cut through all the slow lanes, wanting Craven to get to Cursed as soon as possible. Craven was reportedly not pleased so Weinstein doubled his pay in order for him to direct the film. The director deemed the script too tonally similar to his film Vampire in Brooklyn, but felt pressured by the studio, leading him to ultimately sign on. The film started filming in January 2003, hoping to get the film released in August. In June, they only had six days left for filming. Suddenly, Dimension Films decided to put the movie on hold because top executives at the company weren't happy with the film's ending or how the special effects were progressing, specifically the look of the film's lead lupine. Rick Baker was preparing the final transformation effects when production stopped and asked Weinstein to let his team finish the work in order for it to be ready for the reshoot, but he refused. Patrick Lussier was brought in for massive rewrites, and the film didn't return to production until November. Baker was fired, and the prosthetic make-up was replaced with CGI. Skeet Ulrich filmed his scene as one of the leads, but chose to drop out following the reshoots as he disliked the new direction. It was also heavily edited to get the R rating down to PG-13. The budget was originally $35 million, yet some reports suggest it ballooned all the way to $100 million, making it one of the most expensive horror films ever. With that budget, it was clear it was not going to be a box office success. It flopped with just $29 million worldwide, and was panned by critics. Craven himself dislikes the final product, and a director's cut was never an option because his original ending was never filmed.
Red Eye (2005)"Fear takes flight."His 18th film. It stars Rachel McAdams, Cillian Murphy, and Brian Cox. The story follows a hotel manager ensnared in an assassination plot by a terrorist while aboard a red-eye flight to Miami. The film received Craven's best reviews in years, and was a box office success, earning almost $100 million. While he is fine with people loving it, Cillian Murphy is not really fond of the film, "I love Rachel McAdams and we had fun making it but I don’t think it's a good movie. It’s a good B movie."
My Soul to Take (2010)"Only one has the power to save their souls."His 19th film. It stars Max Thieriot, Denzel Whitaker, Raul Esparza, and Shareeka Epps. It follows Adam "Bug" Hellerman, who is one of seven teenagers chosen to die following the anniversary of a serial killer's death. This was Craven's first film in almost two decades where he would be directing, producing and writing. But that didn't pan out to a success: it was a critical and commercial dud.
Scream 4 (2011)"New decade. New rules."His 20th and final film. The fourth installment in the Scream franchise, it stars David Arquette, Neve Campbell, Courteney Cox, Emma Roberts, Hayden Panettiere, Anthony Anderson, Alison Brie, Adam Brody, Rory Culkin, Marielle Jaffe, Erik Knudsen, Mary McDonnell, Marley Shelton, Nico Tortorella, and Roger L. Jackson. The film takes place on the fifteenth anniversary of the original Woodsboro murders from Scream and involves Sidney Prescott returning to the town after ten years, where Ghostface once again begins killing students from Woodsboro High. In 2010, Williamson and Craven confirmed their plans for a new film. Craven said that endless sequels, the modern spew of remakes, film studios, and directors are the butts of parodies in the film. The main characters have to figure out where the horror genre is in current days to figure out the modern events happening to and around them. This was the first film in the franchise to use CGI, with the knife's blade added in post-production. Even though the franchise was profitable, it seemed like its glory days were long behind it by the time it hit theaters. The film disappointed in its opening weekend with just $18 million, and closed with a weak $97 million worlwide, far less than the previous films. It also received mixed reviews, particularly for its writing and new characters. It was the last film directed by Craven before his death in 2015.
MOVIES (FROM HIGHEST GROSSING TO LEAST GROSSING)
The VerdictQuite inconsistent, but a very iconic figure in the horror genre. You know you made it big when your creations include Elm Street and Scream. Craven often struggled with difficult productions (you can blame the Weinsteins for that), but he still managed to make competent and scary films, even if some are better than others. Some even see critical re-appraisal as time passes; even Scream 3 and Scream 4 have their fans. We don't know what he would've done with the franchise after the fourth film, but he made it clear he was exhausted by having to film without finished scripts. Rest in Peace to a horror legend.Hope you liked this edition. You can find this and more in the wiki for this section. The next director will be Clint Eastwood. I think I'll have to make two posts, given that he directed 42 films. I asked you to choose who else should be in the run and the comment with the most upvotes would be chosen. Well, we'll later talk about... Ang Lee. A legendary Asian director. This is the schedule for the following four:
And that theme is: controversial directors. I'm talking directors who have attained a polarizing response to their films (like Zack Snyder), or the directors themselves are also controversial figures in real life (like Oliver Stone). Basically, a director that has as many fans as haters. |
2024.05.11 18:30 suroorshiv I'm not angry my wife was involved in emotional cheating with a younger colleague but more of how she treated me with disrespect all these 10 years of marriage and did this !!
Please excuse my language as I'm an Indian and English is not my first language and also my wife's chat which sounds like a kindergarten kid wrote it
So I had this porn addiction which she discovered right after marriage. This caused a huge issue in my sex life as i was unable to satisfy her well.
She too lost interest in having sex with me and we tried to improve our marriage .
I told her how my childhood trauma due to abusive parents and bullying led to this, she started using this as a weapon .
She would treat me badly and whenever we had a fight she would pull this as a way to keep me quiet .
I was abused by my parents to an extent where I lost all my self confidence and lived alone with no friends so I just continued.
She would constantly check my mobile because she was afraid that i might revert back to addiction and she would read all my personal messages and even read the teams messages of my colleagues.
The one thing that really bothers me is that she would never show any interest if i suggest to do something but she would be ready if her family tells her .
The one thing that kept me alive during the abusive period of my parents were those story books and i always wanted to travel and exploring and eat new food.
But for her, weekends or vacation means going to her family and she will drag me along .
But she also forced me not to go anywhere. My colleagues invited me for a drink after work but she threw a big fit that she is struggling to raise my child but I'm enjoying.
I had to cancel an office getaway because she threw a huge fight over it , she even fought when I had to go to Chennai for a business trip but I had no chance of canceling.
Yes I turned to pornography, but I also had some other hobbies that kept me sane like watching EPL, reading books, trying new restaurants etc but she slowly but surely made me stop all these .
Now she has new friends and then only I understood something important .she wasn't close to her family but she just wants to enjoy with anyone who is not me .
Even going to the mall, she would complain she was tired etc but she went on a 3 day trek with her friends where she walked around 20 km.
Also she has this whole " feminist vibe" or something, if i tell her to do some household chores which is beyond what our maid or cook does, she sarcastically replies why she should do , why am I pushing it to her just because she is woman etc.
I just want to divorce but I'm afraid of my life post divorce and about my 2 children aged 7 and 3 .I don't want them to grow up in a broken house and also I'm not sure if she might end up showing the anger towards me to my kids.
I always contemplate suicide because I'm alone , friendless, unhappy family , bad in careers etc but I din’t know when I might .
Then I noticed something, she was very protective of her mobile . She would take it even to bathroom also while bathing . So one day i tried to open and i found that she had changed the passcode of the mobile without informing me.
.Post the birth of second child, she slimmed down and started wearing modern clothes. I’ve seen her pubic hair trimmer in bathroom many times even though we hardly have sex in the last one year
She had gone out with her friends ( both male and female) twice . First she went for a marriage but stayed in a resort a day before. The second time it was a company sponsored trek. I’m now thinking if she had cheated on me during those times. She didn't mention the word resort the first time and just told about the wedding . Second time she just mentioned company sponsored getaway for 3 days. But didn't tell they will be trekking and staying in tents at night. Now I'm confused if my wife cheated on me because she didn't completely divulged the information
I thought to use breaking into her mobile uldn't control myself so I tried to access her phone while sleeping but she woke up and shouted for frightening her.
I asked her to open the phone immediately and she gave after hesitation .i sent to insta and she had chatted with a guy but she said he approached her and after he started using words like dear she stopped responding.
I apologize and went to sleep. The next day she went to the office and i thought there was something wrong so when she came back I asked her to show me her mobile once more. She refused but I said I won't budge until she gives .
I saw that one boy was always next to her in all the photos so I checked his chats and i found everything I needed.
Here are some chats
Wife: And now I know you have crush on me.. so why to hurt your feelings by calling bro and all😂 3/21/24, 10:30 PM - Guy: When u did u know? 3/21/24, 10:30 PM - Wife: Yeahhh I do. Why not. I usually care about feelings a lot.. I don't like to hurt anyone 😊 3/21/24, 10:30 PM - Wife: You only told me once know then I got to know 3/21/24, 10:31 PM - Wife: Otherwise also the way you look at me only I can understand 😛 3/21/24, 10:32 PM - Guy: Seriously I looked at you like that 🫣🫣 3/21/24, 10:32 PM - Guy: Ohhh my 🙈🙈🥰🥰 3/21/24, 10:32 PM - Wife: Yeahhh you do sometimes 3/21/24, 10:32 PM - Wife: Not recently .. but yes you do sometimes 3/21/24, 10:33 PM - Guy: Tell me last time when I saw? 3/21/24, 10:33 PM - Wife: May be on women's day 3/21/24, 10:33 PM - Wife: On lunch day you didn't see like that 3/21/24, 10:34 PM - Guy: Yess .. 3/21/24, 10:34 PM - Guy: Party time right? 3/21/24, 10:34 PM - Wife: Yes. 3/21/24, 10:34 PM - Guy: U looking gorgeous 🤩😻 3/21/24, 10:35 PM - Wife: Telling now 😂 3/21/24, 10:35 PM - Wife: You didn't tell on that day 3/21/24, 10:35 PM - Guy: I told... In single word
9/25/23, 11:12 PM - MC: Yes really this night really very good day and sweet dreams 9/25/23, 11:13 PM - Wife: Is it ? What special happened today ? 9/25/23, 11:13 PM - MC: Bcoz I saw one angel, I think she directly came from Indra lokha 😍 9/25/23, 11:15 PM - MC: Every time she looking aged.. but today those words are all false 9/25/23, 11:15 PM - Wife: Ohhhh... don't dream about that girl Okay 9/25/23, 11:16 PM - MC: Y is not good ? 9/25/23, 11:16 PM - Wife: Hmmmm good question. I guess you can. 9/25/23, 11:17 PM - MC: So I can dream right? 9/25/23, 11:17 PM - Wife: Yeahhh y not... dreaming is your choice na. No one can steal it and no one can question it 9/25/23, 11:18 PM - Wife: She looked aged everytime is it 😳 9/25/23, 11:19 PM - MC: Okay thanks 😍... but here you have the right to ask question 9/25/23, 11:19 PM - Wife: Out of all dresses, Which outfit looked good tell me now. 9/25/23, 11:19 PM - Wife: I will not question you
😁10/19/23, 9:42 PM - MC: U r the important to me naa 😍 10/19/23, 9:42 PM - Wife: For me nothing special 10/19/23, 9:42 PM - Wife: Hahahaha. . am I? 10/19/23, 9:42 PM - MC: Okay will see tomorrow 10/19/23, 9:42 PM - MC: Haa u only 10/19/23, 9:43 PM - Wife: Don't fall for me MC 😉😁 10/19/23, 9:43 PM - MC: Y u will fall for me naaa😅 10/19/23, 9:44 PM - Wife: Hahahaha 10/19/23, 9:44 PM - Wife: We are good as friends only 😊 10/19/23, 9:45 PM - MC: Hey hey I'm chatting casually Wife 10/19/23, 9:45 PM - MC: Don't mind 10/19/23, 9:45 PM - MC: We r frnds 10/19/23, 9:46 PM - MC: Don't overthinking yaaa 10/19/23, 9:46 PM - Wife: I knowwwww 10/19/23, 9:46 PM - Wife: No over thinking ok11/23/23, 4:14 PM - MC: Don't angry and don't think wrong abt me 😊 11/23/23, 4:14 PM - MC: I feel some good(romantic) vibes when u r with me I mean close to with me 11/23/23, 4:14 PM - MC: Touching 😊😊 11/23/23, 4:17 PM - Wife: Hahaha.. yeah I feel good to have a friend like you MC.. 11/23/23, 4:17 PM - Wife: 😊 I confronted my wife with those whatsapp chats. It led to a huge fight where she was telling the following things to defend me and that colleague.-
He is young and she felt him like some kind of puppy love exhibited by a high school student towards his school teacher He has gfs and roams with multiple people so she doesnt think he was serious when he was flirting and giving compliments She always stopped him when he tried to go overboard They chat at the frequency of once a week not more. Most importantly, if she had feelings for him. their chats would have a different turn and she might have ended up in physical.
She had also chatted about an fling she had before our marriage and how she met him once after our marriage got fixed, gave him a final hug and left. She had never told me in 10 years of marriage
For 2 hrs she defended this guy over me and i attempted suicide. So the next day her sister came to mediate . I told the following
Whenever he steps over the compliments, why is she not stern in warning him but giving simple statements like ""u r young"," im married " etc- Do the words he used constitute sexual harassment in the corporate culture? Why has she discussed things with him about certain college crushes she never discussed with me? Why she has never explicitly denied whenever he gave her options to hang out Cheating happens step by step and she is currently in the 20th of the 100 steps maybe. He just needs a place and time and maybe some alcohol to get that. Why should she defend herself so much instead of admitting her mistakes . I also pointed out these chats that he is already planning for the next steps. Calling her for a midnight bike ride
10/27/23, 9:57 AM - Wife: In mid night and all... interesting 10/27/23, 9:58 AM - Wife: I'm feeling something more 10/27/23, 9:58 AM - MC: Wt u feeling more? 10/27/23, 9:58 AM - MC: Tell me 10/27/23, 9:58 AM - MC: So we can also go one day. Come to Priya home . I'll also come 10/27/23, 10:00 AM - Wife: I don't have that much luxury to roam around in midnight 😞 10/27/23, 10:00 AM - Wife: Yeahh may be she likes you 10/27/23, 10:01 AM - MC: Yes As a frnd 10/27/23, 10:01 AM - MC: No we can plan 10/27/23, 10:01 AM - MC: We can meet Priyas home.. one day 10/27/23, 10:03 AM - Wife: Hmmm okay nice 10/27/23, 10:03 AM - Wife: Will see .Calling for a private party with alcohol
2/21/24, 10:33 PM - Wife: Yup. Women friends are best 2/21/24, 10:33 PM - Wife: Yeah 2/21/24, 10:34 PM - MC: Yes 2/21/24, 10:34 PM - MC: We also go for party 2/21/24, 10:34 PM - MC: We 3 2/21/24, 10:34 PM - MC: If u and my sis fine 2/21/24, 10:34 PM - Wife: Yup will do 2/21/24, 10:34 PM - MC: Drink dance 🎵 2/21/24, 10:34 PM - Wife: Dance is must 😒😂😂 2/21/24, 10:35 PM - Wife: We danced today too 2/21/24, 10:35 PM - MC: But place we have to find 2/21/24, 10:35 PM - MC: Secret place 2/21/24, 10:35 PM - MC: No one will disturb 2/21/24, 10:35 PM - MC: Ohhh nice yar
Here sis is another older married colleague he calls as sis who is Priya in the previous conversation.
Her sisters also joined in and said his behavior doesn’t seem alright but she said she didnt want to lose friendship over some of his stupid comments . They gave him a good scolding and she now has understood the gravity of the situation. She has promised not to chat with him anymore.
She also apologized for all the troubles she caused for 10 years and will try to change. I too promised to get therapy for ED and develop intimacy better . Now her sisters also know her emotional cheating.
So now we have a clean slate to start our relationship when she wont bring my porn addiction and I wont bring her chatting.
Next day i asked her about that fling, she said it was just a crush and it happened before i met her and she cannot tell it because we had agreed to drop everything as per pact. I said I need closure, she said we didn't do sex or anything and there is nothing to talk about
But now i don't know if she had cheated on me physically as well. I didn't find any evidence of trying to organize any meeting or any photos or videos of sexual nature .
I'm not angry that she cheated but how she gaslighted me all these days by using all my insecurity, making me feel that she is suffering under this marriage and always ruining my aspirations and hobbies.
All i Want from her is respect, nothing else. I want her to treat me like a husband and not some guy at home. She says she needs love but she doesn't know I tried my best to provide but I got out away because of her behaviour.
Is that tooo much to ask for ?
submitted by suroorshiv to cheatingexposed [link] [comments]
So I had this porn addiction which she discovered right after marriage. This caused a huge issue in my sex life as i was unable to satisfy her well.
She too lost interest in having sex with me and we tried to improve our marriage .
I told her how my childhood trauma due to abusive parents and bullying led to this, she started using this as a weapon .
She would treat me badly and whenever we had a fight she would pull this as a way to keep me quiet .
I was abused by my parents to an extent where I lost all my self confidence and lived alone with no friends so I just continued.
She would constantly check my mobile because she was afraid that i might revert back to addiction and she would read all my personal messages and even read the teams messages of my colleagues.
The one thing that really bothers me is that she would never show any interest if i suggest to do something but she would be ready if her family tells her .
The one thing that kept me alive during the abusive period of my parents were those story books and i always wanted to travel and exploring and eat new food.
But for her, weekends or vacation means going to her family and she will drag me along .
But she also forced me not to go anywhere. My colleagues invited me for a drink after work but she threw a big fit that she is struggling to raise my child but I'm enjoying.
I had to cancel an office getaway because she threw a huge fight over it , she even fought when I had to go to Chennai for a business trip but I had no chance of canceling.
Yes I turned to pornography, but I also had some other hobbies that kept me sane like watching EPL, reading books, trying new restaurants etc but she slowly but surely made me stop all these .
Now she has new friends and then only I understood something important .she wasn't close to her family but she just wants to enjoy with anyone who is not me .
Even going to the mall, she would complain she was tired etc but she went on a 3 day trek with her friends where she walked around 20 km.
Also she has this whole " feminist vibe" or something, if i tell her to do some household chores which is beyond what our maid or cook does, she sarcastically replies why she should do , why am I pushing it to her just because she is woman etc.
I just want to divorce but I'm afraid of my life post divorce and about my 2 children aged 7 and 3 .I don't want them to grow up in a broken house and also I'm not sure if she might end up showing the anger towards me to my kids.
I always contemplate suicide because I'm alone , friendless, unhappy family , bad in careers etc but I din’t know when I might .
Then I noticed something, she was very protective of her mobile . She would take it even to bathroom also while bathing . So one day i tried to open and i found that she had changed the passcode of the mobile without informing me.
.Post the birth of second child, she slimmed down and started wearing modern clothes. I’ve seen her pubic hair trimmer in bathroom many times even though we hardly have sex in the last one year
She had gone out with her friends ( both male and female) twice . First she went for a marriage but stayed in a resort a day before. The second time it was a company sponsored trek. I’m now thinking if she had cheated on me during those times. She didn't mention the word resort the first time and just told about the wedding . Second time she just mentioned company sponsored getaway for 3 days. But didn't tell they will be trekking and staying in tents at night. Now I'm confused if my wife cheated on me because she didn't completely divulged the information
I thought to use breaking into her mobile uldn't control myself so I tried to access her phone while sleeping but she woke up and shouted for frightening her.
I asked her to open the phone immediately and she gave after hesitation .i sent to insta and she had chatted with a guy but she said he approached her and after he started using words like dear she stopped responding.
I apologize and went to sleep. The next day she went to the office and i thought there was something wrong so when she came back I asked her to show me her mobile once more. She refused but I said I won't budge until she gives .
I saw that one boy was always next to her in all the photos so I checked his chats and i found everything I needed.
Here are some chats
Wife: And now I know you have crush on me.. so why to hurt your feelings by calling bro and all😂 3/21/24, 10:30 PM - Guy: When u did u know? 3/21/24, 10:30 PM - Wife: Yeahhh I do. Why not. I usually care about feelings a lot.. I don't like to hurt anyone 😊 3/21/24, 10:30 PM - Wife: You only told me once know then I got to know 3/21/24, 10:31 PM - Wife: Otherwise also the way you look at me only I can understand 😛 3/21/24, 10:32 PM - Guy: Seriously I looked at you like that 🫣🫣 3/21/24, 10:32 PM - Guy: Ohhh my 🙈🙈🥰🥰 3/21/24, 10:32 PM - Wife: Yeahhh you do sometimes 3/21/24, 10:32 PM - Wife: Not recently .. but yes you do sometimes 3/21/24, 10:33 PM - Guy: Tell me last time when I saw? 3/21/24, 10:33 PM - Wife: May be on women's day 3/21/24, 10:33 PM - Wife: On lunch day you didn't see like that 3/21/24, 10:34 PM - Guy: Yess .. 3/21/24, 10:34 PM - Guy: Party time right? 3/21/24, 10:34 PM - Wife: Yes. 3/21/24, 10:34 PM - Guy: U looking gorgeous 🤩😻 3/21/24, 10:35 PM - Wife: Telling now 😂 3/21/24, 10:35 PM - Wife: You didn't tell on that day 3/21/24, 10:35 PM - Guy: I told... In single word
9/25/23, 11:12 PM - MC: Yes really this night really very good day and sweet dreams 9/25/23, 11:13 PM - Wife: Is it ? What special happened today ? 9/25/23, 11:13 PM - MC: Bcoz I saw one angel, I think she directly came from Indra lokha 😍 9/25/23, 11:15 PM - MC: Every time she looking aged.. but today those words are all false 9/25/23, 11:15 PM - Wife: Ohhhh... don't dream about that girl Okay 9/25/23, 11:16 PM - MC: Y is not good ? 9/25/23, 11:16 PM - Wife: Hmmmm good question. I guess you can. 9/25/23, 11:17 PM - MC: So I can dream right? 9/25/23, 11:17 PM - Wife: Yeahhh y not... dreaming is your choice na. No one can steal it and no one can question it 9/25/23, 11:18 PM - Wife: She looked aged everytime is it 😳 9/25/23, 11:19 PM - MC: Okay thanks 😍... but here you have the right to ask question 9/25/23, 11:19 PM - Wife: Out of all dresses, Which outfit looked good tell me now. 9/25/23, 11:19 PM - Wife: I will not question you
😁10/19/23, 9:42 PM - MC: U r the important to me naa 😍 10/19/23, 9:42 PM - Wife: For me nothing special 10/19/23, 9:42 PM - Wife: Hahahaha. . am I? 10/19/23, 9:42 PM - MC: Okay will see tomorrow 10/19/23, 9:42 PM - MC: Haa u only 10/19/23, 9:43 PM - Wife: Don't fall for me MC 😉😁 10/19/23, 9:43 PM - MC: Y u will fall for me naaa😅 10/19/23, 9:44 PM - Wife: Hahahaha 10/19/23, 9:44 PM - Wife: We are good as friends only 😊 10/19/23, 9:45 PM - MC: Hey hey I'm chatting casually Wife 10/19/23, 9:45 PM - MC: Don't mind 10/19/23, 9:45 PM - MC: We r frnds 10/19/23, 9:46 PM - MC: Don't overthinking yaaa 10/19/23, 9:46 PM - Wife: I knowwwww 10/19/23, 9:46 PM - Wife: No over thinking ok11/23/23, 4:14 PM - MC: Don't angry and don't think wrong abt me 😊 11/23/23, 4:14 PM - MC: I feel some good(romantic) vibes when u r with me I mean close to with me
He is young and she felt him like some kind of puppy love exhibited by a high school student towards his school teacher He has gfs and roams with multiple people so she doesnt think he was serious when he was flirting and giving compliments She always stopped him when he tried to go overboard They chat at the frequency of once a week not more. Most importantly, if she had feelings for him. their chats would have a different turn and she might have ended up in physical.
She had also chatted about an fling she had before our marriage and how she met him once after our marriage got fixed, gave him a final hug and left. She had never told me in 10 years of marriage
For 2 hrs she defended this guy over me and i attempted suicide. So the next day her sister came to mediate . I told the following
Whenever he steps over the compliments, why is she not stern in warning him but giving simple statements like ""u r young"," im married " etc- Do the words he used constitute sexual harassment in the corporate culture? Why has she discussed things with him about certain college crushes she never discussed with me? Why she has never explicitly denied whenever he gave her options to hang out Cheating happens step by step and she is currently in the 20th of the 100 steps maybe. He just needs a place and time and maybe some alcohol to get that. Why should she defend herself so much instead of admitting her mistakes . I also pointed out these chats that he is already planning for the next steps. Calling her for a midnight bike ride
10/27/23, 9:57 AM - Wife: In mid night and all... interesting 10/27/23, 9:58 AM - Wife: I'm feeling something more 10/27/23, 9:58 AM - MC: Wt u feeling more? 10/27/23, 9:58 AM - MC: Tell me 10/27/23, 9:58 AM - MC: So we can also go one day. Come to Priya home . I'll also come 10/27/23, 10:00 AM - Wife: I don't have that much luxury to roam around in midnight 😞 10/27/23, 10:00 AM - Wife: Yeahh may be she likes you 10/27/23, 10:01 AM - MC: Yes As a frnd 10/27/23, 10:01 AM - MC: No we can plan 10/27/23, 10:01 AM - MC: We can meet Priyas home.. one day 10/27/23, 10:03 AM - Wife: Hmmm okay nice 10/27/23, 10:03 AM - Wife: Will see .Calling for a private party with alcohol
2/21/24, 10:33 PM - Wife: Yup. Women friends are best 2/21/24, 10:33 PM - Wife: Yeah 2/21/24, 10:34 PM - MC: Yes 2/21/24, 10:34 PM - MC: We also go for party 2/21/24, 10:34 PM - MC: We 3 2/21/24, 10:34 PM - MC: If u and my sis fine 2/21/24, 10:34 PM - Wife: Yup will do 2/21/24, 10:34 PM - MC: Drink dance 🎵 2/21/24, 10:34 PM - Wife: Dance is must 😒😂😂 2/21/24, 10:35 PM - Wife: We danced today too 2/21/24, 10:35 PM - MC: But place we have to find 2/21/24, 10:35 PM - MC: Secret place 2/21/24, 10:35 PM - MC: No one will disturb 2/21/24, 10:35 PM - MC: Ohhh nice yar
Here sis is another older married colleague he calls as sis who is Priya in the previous conversation.
Her sisters also joined in and said his behavior doesn’t seem alright but she said she didnt want to lose friendship over some of his stupid comments . They gave him a good scolding and she now has understood the gravity of the situation. She has promised not to chat with him anymore.
She also apologized for all the troubles she caused for 10 years and will try to change. I too promised to get therapy for ED and develop intimacy better . Now her sisters also know her emotional cheating.
So now we have a clean slate to start our relationship when she wont bring my porn addiction and I wont bring her chatting.
Next day i asked her about that fling, she said it was just a crush and it happened before i met her and she cannot tell it because we had agreed to drop everything as per pact. I said I need closure, she said we didn't do sex or anything and there is nothing to talk about
But now i don't know if she had cheated on me physically as well. I didn't find any evidence of trying to organize any meeting or any photos or videos of sexual nature .
I'm not angry that she cheated but how she gaslighted me all these days by using all my insecurity, making me feel that she is suffering under this marriage and always ruining my aspirations and hobbies.
All i Want from her is respect, nothing else. I want her to treat me like a husband and not some guy at home. She says she needs love but she doesn't know I tried my best to provide but I got out away because of her behaviour.
Is that tooo much to ask for ?