Our pool turned green while waiting to get a replacement pool pump installed. Before I do a SLAM to get rid of algae, I need to lower the PH since it is extremely high (8.6) and increase the TA since it is low (40). These are test results from a Taylor K-2006 test kit so I'm pretty sure these test results are accurate. Chlorine was only 2 ppms when the test was taken so the high PH wasn't caused by high chlorine. I'm going to use baking soda (AKA Alkalinity Up) to increase the alkalinity and Muriatic Acid to lower the PH. I know that Muriatic Acid lowers alkalinity and baking soda increases PH a tiny bit so I need to know which one I should add first and how long I need to wait before adding the other one.

Disclaimer: I have to shorten the words on this one because the chapter had gone on for to long and stole the word count limit. Every person in this section has my deepest and most sincere thanks for the art, memes, and love they have shown my series.
Thank you to: for proofreading, editing, and this art. Check his fic here!
u/Talentlessfurry for this art.
u/Roddcherry for adding Novel to the charismas party he drew.
u/everyveryever for this art.
u/Emotion-Senior for the meme.
u/Orphandestroyer99 for the comic and art.
u/abrachoo for the meme.
u/guaiwutongzhi for the art.
u/United_Patriots for the art.
u/migulehove for the art(s).
u/aMANTEIGAdo for the art.
u/SlimyRage for the art.
Thank you to each and every one of these amazing people!
CW: Accidental Substance Abuse
Memory Transcription Subject: Novel, Kolshian Scientist and Self-Proclaimed “Gamer God”
Date {standardized human time}: October 19th, 2136
The elevator ride took a lot longer than I would have liked, my excitement and anticipation making it difficult to stand still. Ada’s room was almost at the top floor of the building — along with those of the other members of my herd — making it take a bit longer to get to than most of the other Humans’ I’ve visited while here.
Seems they are keeping the various tribes in their own groups. The fourth floor has the Germans, French, Polish, and Austrians, with a few Danes and Swedes mixed in. I wonder if they did that to keep the different tribes from fighting with ones they don’t like? Doubtful really, everyone seems to get along well enough, disregarding a couple jabs here and there. Probably just makes geographical sense to put them together.
My pondering was broken with a soft ding of the old elevator doors opening. I stepped out of the elevator quickly and took in my surroundings. There were very few humans milling about the quiet halls as they went about their business. One human with comfy-looking pelts had noticed me step out of the elevator and had frozen where they stood. After a short, yet still uncomfortably awkward moment, I gave a wave with one of my upper appendages and walked down a different hall.
A few moments later, I pulled out my pad to look at the message Sindre sent me.
Room 441, hailey and i went to get some stuff for the sesh. ada will be there in a bit. see you soon, {censored}
From: Sindre(Human)
I quickly typed out my own message.
Thank you! I’ll meet you there!
From: Me
Stowing the pad, I made my way there. Along the way I encountered several more Humans, each of which having some sort of reaction to my presence. Mostly just freezing in place or casting glances at me as I walked by. Some of them recognized me, either from when we baked together, or when I was in the rec room when the news dropped and gave me a wave in return. There was one case though when a Terran exited their room, saw me, and let out a noise I can only describe as a squeal before diving back into their room.
That last one confused me to no end, as I had never seen that reaction from a human before. I considered knocking on the door before thinking better of it and continuing down the hall to my destination.
How curious… I'll have to ask Ada about that human and why they ran away from me... Heh, prey scaring predators. Not so long ago, such a concept would’ve been seen as the ultimate goal, any real-world examples derided as only that of a dreamer’s fallacy, and yet now… I don’t think I like the idea so much…
I made a mental note to apologize to them if we ever meet again and kept walking, this time with my form hunched and my pace a little faster than before so I could avoid bothering the Terrans as much. It seemed to work, and the humans seemed to look away a little faster than they had previously.
Arriving at Ada’s door, though, I composed myself as best I could, straightening my back and taking a deep breath to calm myself. I knocked on the door a few times, only for it to open a slight amount. Cocking my head in confusion, I listened to the slight groaning of the hinges before I gently pushed it the rest of the way, the door creaking loudly in resistance.
The room smelled of wax and freshly harvested Othll bark, like I had just walked into the home improvement aisle of a store. Walking further inside showed me the source of the smell, which was a set of candles sitting on top of a nightstand in the corner… next to a fire alarm with the battery taken out.
That’s a little concerning… that can’t be safe at least. I should tell her to put it back in when I see her… wherever she is.
Looking around the room some more showed it to be quite unkempt, with pelts and other junk laying strewn haphazardly across the floor. Personal knick-knacks and picture frames sat on shelves and tables around the room, making the places feel a lot more homely than the other rooms I’d been in. A large TV sat on the other side of the room across from the bed, which had been recently used, going by the blanket on the floor and the pillows tossed about. Against the wall next to the bed was a large couch that had clearly seen better paws, the top layer peeling heavily and scattering the little bits of plastic covering everywhere.
Sitting next to the TV appeared to be some sort of Terran gaming console, complete with bright colors plastered across its many faces and with several different wires coming out of it. Far more than there should be, since part of the case it was in had been smashed to fit more cabling into. Tools, used wires, and broken plastic laid scattered next to the patchwork job.
Seems they really did modify it. Makes sense, since I doubt it would normally work on our systems at all… we should really put that fire alarm back in…
Just as I started walking over to inspect it, my lower tentacle caught something soft on one of the suckers. Looking down showed it to be one of the chest pelts Ada had been wearing the paw I met her. Closer inspection showed the whole floor was covered in discarded pelts, including some I had never seen before!
I let out a sigh as I looked around at the mess… I hope she doesn't mind if I cleaned up a bit.
And that's exactly what I did as I waited for my host to return. It did not take long for me to find the garbage can and hamper she used for her used pelts. While I worked though the piles, I took note of the stranger clothes I saw. Most of them were the regular chest pelts that I’d seen every human wear, but others were completely unique or otherwise somehow unusual.
One such example was what I can only describe as some sort of winter gear? It had a very intricate design on the front made of lace and a very soft interior made of a kind of purple fabric. What made it even more strange was that I found several of these scattered around the room, meaning that she was wearing these pretty regularly too!
Hmmm… perhaps it is meant to keep their ears warm? That would explain the strap on the back, as it would be meant to go under their chin. That doesn’t explain why she would be using it though, and to have so many! It must get cold in here when the A/C kicks in, I guess. This place is really old after all.
Either way, they went into the hamper. I left the tools where they were, in case they belonged to different people, but everything else went straight into the trash. The whole process was pretty exhausting, but the room ended up looking much nicer than it had before!
Just as I finished bagging up the garbage can, the door gave a loud creak as Ada stepped in wearing some pretty comfortable-looking pelts similar to the ones she had been wearing a few paws ago, pink prey head slippers and all.
A few {seconds} pass as she starts pulling out clear totes full of what I assume to be her things before I break out of my confusion and flick her a tail wave.
“Hey Ada! Whe-”
“AAAAHHH!!!”
She screamed as she stumbled onto her back, causing me to drop the bag and jump in fright. We stared at each other for a moment before Ada spoke up.
“Nov’?! What the fuck are you doing in here?! You weren't… ya Allah, you scared the crap out of me!”
My arms and tentacles raised up in a pleading gesture after I realized what I did. “S-sorry! I-I thought you would see me! And Sindre said to meet you here? F-for the games?”
Ada took a few more moments to calm down on the floor, but eventually, she stood up and took a few breaths. “You’re fine, squiddie… Sindre didn’t mention how close you were so… oh well, doesn't matter I guess. Uh, what’s in the bag you got there? Also… where are all of my clothes?”
At her observation, I picked up the trash bag and held it up for her to see. “Well… your room was a bit of a mess, a-and you were gone, so I did a bit of… cleaning? Nothing major, just throwing away some trash and putting the pelts in the hamper.”
“Oh, well, thanks Nov. I was gonna get to that befor-” Suddenly she stops herself mid-sentence. Her eyes widen as she casts her forward-facing gaze over to the pelts’ bin.
For some reason, the human's usual light brown features darken considerably with a crimson bloom. Ada turned to look at me, and I gave my best happy expression I could muster to put her at ease. This time, the human's face twisted into an obvious forced snarl before she gave up, running a hand down her face.
“Novel, j-just a heads up for the future, it’s considered rude to go through someone's room and touch their… pelts without permission. They are, um, quite personal belongings, and we don’t let other people touch certain ones. Fuck, uh, don’t tell the other two about this either. It would be, eugh…” Ada’s snarl gets larger as she looks back to the hamper, the crimson still blooming across her face. My tail flicked curiously as I looked between her and the pelt basket.
How peculiar… Hailey seemed just fine with dumping all sorts of pelts on me when she was showing them off. Perhaps that's because she studies it, so in that case it’s seen as okay? Maybe it has more to deal with how I came in here without her supervision? Predators are known to be territorial in the wild, and the Humans seem to be that way as well with their many borders. Letting someone into your ‘territory’ must be a pretty personal thing in the first place. Which would mean that she must be upset that I just walked in here and started messing with things! Speh!
A tentacle reached out, or up I suppose, to Ada’s shoulder while my tail signaled my sincerest apologies. “I-I am so sorry, Ada. If I knew, I would have never touched anything! Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone! Do you want me to… put it back the way I found it?”
The human seemed to find my appeasement worthy as she let out a quiet laugh. “No, Nov’, you’re just fine. Thanks for cleaning up too, I guess; I was gonna do it myself, but oh well… not something we need to talk about.” She lets out another laugh as she walks over to the modified console and grabs a controller.
Yet, before she could get a word out, there was a sharp knock on the door, followed by it swinging open to reveal the last two members of our herd. Sindre came in first, carrying several different bags filled to the brim with snacks of all varieties. He gave a simple head nod and rushed over to the table by the TV to deposit his haul, dropping a few on the floor in his haste.
Hailey walked in right behind him with a plastic grocery bag over her shoulder filled with many different colored bottles of drink and a tray of small dark-brown squares covered in plastic wrap. Her free hand gave us both a wave while she walked to the table in a much calmer manner, at least when compared to her compatriot.
We both gave our own wave in return while I spoke up. “Hey guys! Welcome! What did you get from the kitchen?”
Hailey set her things down on the table. “Not much. Some dried fruit, chips, cookies, soda, juice, and even some fresh brownies someone made! I assumed they were for the taking since they had a few trays sitting out to cool down, but we didn’t really have time to ask since we kinda rushed up here. Oh, and the kitchen stinks to high hell for some reason. Might have to tell Emmanual about that.”
My head tilted curiously at the information as Ada and Sindre moved the couch over to where I was standing. Once it was in place, I took a seat at the opposite end from Hailey. “Well, I’m glad you got what you wanted! Do you mind if I take one of those, uh, brownies?”
She gave me a hand wave as I reached over and undid the plastic wrap around the treats. They were still quite warm from the kitchen! I took a small bite out of the corner to get a taste of it, only to then gobble up the whole thing in one bite.
This is amazing! It’s like strayu but… richer? With an almost cough medicine aftertaste mixed with that strange spice? Such a strange and yet fascinating combination!
“Such a weird taste… but definitely a good one! Are there any more downstairs?” I asked while covering my mouth as best I could for the sake of manners.
She took one herself and took a small bite. “Yep, at least a couple more trays from what we saw. Though I bet most of those will be gone once word gets around.”
My head nodded solemnly as I picked up another.
Might as well enjoy them while we can!
Ada walked over to me and flicked the space in between my eyes with her fingers. Her other hand passed me a human game controller before taking a seat right next to me. “Save some for us, ya green goblin! Pretty sure we’re meant to share those!”
The humans let out a soft chuckle while my face warmed in embarrassment. Luckily, they didn’t stay focused on it for long before she pointed to the controller. “So, do you need help with that? It’s not exactly built for you.”
Moving it around in my appendages was more than enough to prove that fact, but I tried to give her a dismissive tail wave while sitting down. “Don’t worry… I should be able to make this work…” I said while using all four of my limbs to hold the piece of plastic. It wasn’t exactly comfortable, but it’ll do the job for now.
“Not the first time I had to do this. There are a lot of different species on Aafa, and some of them have very strange, uh, manipulators… you just have to get used to it.”
There may not have been a lot, or really any other species in my home town, but that college certainly did. Me and Cloyta used to hang out with a few different herds whenever we had the time. That Tilfish remote was an interesting experience to use. Having to use smells to figure out a puzzle in a game like it was normal was really something else.
The TV and console suddenly turned on with a bright flash as Sindre held out a remote towards them both. He used his controller to navigate to a menu on the system to reveal a vast collection of Human games. I grabbed my pad out of my pack to translate some of the games as Sindre scrolled by.
Doom of Kevsar, Helldivers: Super Dating Simulator, Papa’s Pizzeria, Skyrim 2… all these seem fine, I guess. At least not super violent like I thought… A good sign!
Sindre spoke up first as he continued to look through the archive. “Anyway, we were talking the other day about which game to show you first, but we couldn’t agree on what would be the best showcase. So instead of one game voted in from all of us, we are each going to show you a game we think you’ll like best. Sounds good?”
My tail thumped against the back of the couch in acceptance. “Yup! That actually sounds really great! Get to see a wider spectrum of human ‘entertainment!’ Who’s going first?”
“Sindre is…” Hailey speaks up in between bites of her confection, “His system, his pick… still think it’s a dumb fucking game though.” He says as he stops his scrolling and arrives at a very brightly colored preview with several… Humans? Human-like creatures in what look like Dossur vehicles?
He presses a button to select the game as a grin grows on his face. “Hey, Mario Kart Galaxy 3 is a classic! You’re just mad because you’re bad at it.” Sindre turns his head to me while Hailey leans forward. “You’ll love it, I swear. Really shows off the real Humanity we have to hide from you guys.”
“That's for a good reason, you dolt. But it’s your choice…” Hailey said while wiping her hands on a napkin.
I hoped he was right as some cheerful music started playing.
{Memory Transcription Time Advancement: 19 Terran standard minutes…}
Sindre was right! This is fun!
The upbeat music continues to play as I make another turn around a corner, drifting a little to build up some momentum. The ‘Birdo’ creature in my ‘Kart’ does a little dance as I time it right and get a small speed boost, sending me further down the multi-colored track.
“Hmmhmmmhm, hmhmhmm~.” I tried my best to hum along to the music as I continued with the race.
I never would have thought that a racing game could be interesting. Cloyta and I played a few when we were much younger, but they seemed slow in comparison. Usually had a goal at the end as well, like delivering some fruits to a market, or maybe trading on spacefaring merchant vessels in the more complex ones.
It was super fun though! Competing against each other felt a little off, but I wrote it off as a Human cultural thing. A way of bonding, as with most things for them it seems. Other than that, I found the racing to be a lot of fun! There was so much going on, and yet it somehow managed to really keep you aware of everything going on at all times.
A projectile here, a fruit peel trap there, there was so much to think about that I almost forgot to pay attention to the humans! Which, if I weren’t here to study them, might have been a good thing. There were times the competitive nature of the game seemed to draw something else out of them, something I hadn’t expected.
It was… well…
“If I run into one more fucking banana, I will kick you down a flight of stairs and jump on your head from the top step!”
“How the hell did that hit ME!? Broken fucking hitboxes in this shitty ass game!”
“GET YOUR CRUSTY TOAD ASS OFF ME BEFORE I RIP YOU ASSHOLE TO ASSHOLE!!!”
…intense.
My enjoyment of the game seemed to be pretty one-sided unfortunately. Even by the already high standards of the Humans’ previous banter, this was truly something else. While I was still learning the game and slowly climbed up the leaderboard, the Humans all led the herd by taking the top 3 spots every time. They were so close together in some of the races that it was nearly impossible to tell who would win until the last moment, making their yelling even more vicious and bloodthirsty.
There were times I thought they were about to get physically violent with each other once it got to the final lap, but thankfully, it never came to that, aside from maybe some light pushing. Their… banter? Fighting? Uh… verbal abuse towards each other made learning the game a lot harder too since every time I tried to ask a question, my voice would get drowned out in all the yelling. They did show me the basic controls before we started, but it’s a little hard to ask for pointers when your coaches are threatening severe bodily harm against each other.
As I drifted around another sharp turn, my mind wandered back to what Sindre said when we’d first started:
‘Really shows off the real Humanity we have to hide from you guys.’
Was this supposed to be the ‘real Humanity’? I sure hope not… I think I’d prefer if they actually came to blows instead of continuing this barrage of foulness they are constantly spewing. They don’t even seem to be enjoying it! They have to be doing it for a reason… right?
I continued to think as I continued down the track and finished my second lap. The argument was starting to build up again as the stakes started to rise.
“Oh, yeah, of course you get a red shell in 2nd and I get fucking bananas in 3RD! Gotta love this piece of shit game!!” Hailey shouted, leaning forward like she was about to pounce on the TV.
“Not my fault you can’t aim for shit, dumbass! Just throw better!” Sindre quipped back.
“How about I throw you out a five story window?! I mean, I would if your fatass wouldn't snap the floorboards if I tried!” Ada finished it as he gave her an aggressive shove with his shoulder.
Yet, unlike how I expected, she didn’t push back. That's what makes this all so confusing! Each time they antagonize each other, the other person does it back, and they just stop! Their words sound like they mean it to hurt, and their actions reflect that… but they aren’t acting on it.
Hmm… the ‘real Humanity’, huh… Maybe I’m approaching this the wrong way? Something less about who the Humans are, so to speak, but more how they feel? They’ve been awfully emotional in every interaction I’ve ever had with them… Aggressive, too, admittedly. Maybe… maybe this is a way for them to vent some of that aggression safely? Around people they really trust with a game you can complain about, but demands too much attention to leave them to do more than yell at each other? Things have been rather… stressful, lately.
My tail thumped a few more times against the dilapidated couch, sending a few more puffs of stuffing into the air. The theory kind of lined up with what I knew, but I was here with the primary source for a reason, after all. I would just ask them, but…
“I am going to FUCKING DEEPFRY THAT FUCKING MUSHROOM {Ass Violin}!!!”
They were busy.
They seem pretty angry… but if it helps them deal with their stress, then I am just fine with it. I’m glad they are getting through it in their own… ‘special’ Human way.
In any case, it was still better than damming it all up until it overflowed and someone really got hurt. Safe in the knowledge that the Humans (probably) wouldn’t actually attack each other, I just resolved to focus on the game instead. The third and final lap was coming around, and things were starting to ramp up even further. The Humans’ false violence got even louder, and coupled with the occasional and really rather distracting limb shooting out and the rapidly intensifying music, my poor heart was not in the best condition as our racers closed in on the finish line.
But then, all of a sudden, something very strange happened. The Humans simultaneously began to curse louder than ever before, screaming and wailing as an odd blue indicator flashed along the top of the screen, indicating some kind of blue spiky ball rapidly approaching us from behind. All three of them illogically slammed on the brakes, clearly trying to dodge the oncoming projectile, but it was to no avail. The ball flew right past my ‘Kart’ and struck the center of the tightly crowded humans, unleashing an explosion of blue fire that stunned all three.
Allowing my Kart, driving at maximum speed in hopes of any shot at outrunning the projectile, to shoot right past them and cross the finish line first.
Wait… what?
A brief silence hung in the air at what just happened until my arms went up in the air
“Hey, look! I won! Hehehe! I didn’t know I would get so lucky on my first try! Is that sort of thing… common…?”
I stopped my celebration as all the Humans were giving me very intense looks with their stares. They lacked the familiar friendliness most Humans looked at me with, but instead seemed much… angrier.
Speh, right. They are still mad from before, and now I just beat them at their own race… O-okay, they don’t mean it, they are upset and need to let it out. Just have to get through it.
Seeing what was about to happen, I curled in on myself and braced myself for the barrage of verbal slurry coming my way. A moment passed as I waited for the insults to fly but… they never came? Opening an eye revealed the Human’s expressions had changed from fury to…
Amusement?
“You alright there Nov’? You’re shaking pretty bad… Was that too much?” Ada asked in a quiet voice while patting me on the back roughly. It took a moment for my brain to catch up before I could speak again.
“O-oh, uh, sorry, I thought you all were going to… yell at me? Like you did with each other?” My voice was a little shaky as I unfurled myself.
All of the Germans seemed to wince a little at that. “Yeah… fuck, sorry about that. Mario Kart is a pretty rage-inducing game. Shoulda thought about that beforehand.”
My tail attempted to signal calm while trapped behind me. “N-no, it’s fine… I did learn a lot actually. It was fun too, besides the yelling part. Um, can we move on though? I think I’ve got enough out of this one.”
Sindre exits the game with a nod while the others let out deep sighs. “Yeah, sorry Nov’. It’s one of the most popular party games Humanity ever made, so I figured it would be a good one to show you. Next is… Ada’s pick… we sure we should do this one?”
The woman turned her head to look at Sindre. “Positive. They have a vegan option in the settings, so it’s not going to get us arrested or anything. Plus, it's a cooperative party game! Feds seem to love that whole ‘herd’ thing, and Nov’ liked the last one so I’m sure it’ll be fine!”
She gave a dismissive hand wave before turning back to me. “It’ll be fine, really. I played this game as a kid all the time, no need to panic, right?” She seemed a little worried at the end of that sentence, so I tried to put on a brave face.
“S-sounds great! What’s it about?” I mentally chastised myself for my stutter and reached towards the table to grab another pastry. “Ahem. There’s nothing predatory in it, right?”
She grabs one herself and a glass of an orange fizzy drink. “Nope, none at all! Just some harmless cooking with your friends! You’ll love it!” Her enthusiasm helped me calm down as the game started booting up on screen.
Overcooked 5: Season of Seasoning.
Looks cheerful at least. Cooking is fun too… It’ll be fine, yeah.
I took a bite out of my brownie as the game's main menu music started to play.
{Memory Transcription Time Advancement: 23 Standard Terran Minutes…}
You know… I think I get it.
A soft relaxing track played in the background as the four little chefs on screen ran around doing various tasks needed to keep the kitchen functioning, like preparing vegetables, or washing dishes. A timer at the top of the screen was slowly counting down while a little ‘onion’ next to it with a Human face rambled on about something or other.
Orders start coming in quick, and all of us get to work in a flash… or at least, all of us SHOULD be.
“Can you three stop licking the dust clouds in the vents and actually do something to help me, PLEASE?!”
A trio of Human giggles was my only response as I leaned forward in concentration.
This game. This brahking game. They should use this for testing for intelligence like those quizzes we took back home, since clearly some people go brain dead trying to do literally anything that isn’t getting in my stars-damned way, or otherwise waste valuable time by huffing the gas coming off the stove!
Finishing up one order of seaweed wraps and lettuce salad, I tried to get back to the kitchen, but was immediately blocked by… a plate on the floor.
“WHO-!! Why is there a plate on the floor?! The counter is literally right there! It’s such a simple job to-” A ding rings out, showing several new orders that needed to be filled. The timer started flashing red as we reached the one ‘minute’ mark.
A deep, frustrated growl builds in my throat, causing my Humans to laugh for some reason, incensing me even further! We all get to work in completing the last orders, however. Things were going well as the Terrans seemed to (finally) get it together to actually make some good food. Sindre had just finished cooking the rice while Ada chopped the carrots. Me and Hailey were putting everything together on the other side and sending it through until—
“Is, oh my stars, did you guys really send over raw rice?! It’s not even partially cooked!! Are you all a bunch of mountain dwellers? Do you eat your dry grass with a side of brahking pebbles and pond scum?! Cook it again!” I threw the rice back, hitting Sindre in the back of the head with the pile of rice, causing his character to fall over with a cartoonish thunk sound effect.
The Germans laughed loudly at the scene, which made my face heat up in frustration. The timer was running short as we waited for the rice to actually be cooked this time.
“Nov’, I, haha, I’m sorry. I’ll get it done this time, have mercy! I thought the last one was done so I-”
My head turned just enough for my eye to be focused solely on the pale Human. “IT WAS BRAHKING RAW!! There's a bar at the top that tells you! Do you need eye surgery?? Can you even pass a driving test??”
More laughter.
“AND STOP LAUGHING AT ME!! IT’S NOT FUNNY!!”
A ding came from the pot to signify it was done. Ada immediately took it out and walked over to the counter to pass it.
“Perfect, now just- what are you doing?”
She wasn’t passing it over. Instead, she was charging up her throw way more than she needed to. I was just about to say something as the clock flashed brightly ‘till she threw the rice at full force.
Directly at my little chef. The rice beamed directly off the side of my character's head, sending me flying away from the plate and sprawled across the kitchen floor as the rice landed gently on the ground.
“ADA!!!!!”
The countdown is drowned out by the humans erupting into laughter as I desperately try and recover. Yet, just as I make it to my feet, the countdown reaches zero, and the mission ends. Defeat fills my chest while the onion man does a little dance to tally up our points.
49600… only two out of three stars…
It’s over…
I slumped against the back of the couch, fury and betrayal stirring in my chest while the predators laughed to each other for several moments. Their raucous, howling laughter eventually started dying down, at least enough for them to actually say something to me.
“Nov’, come on. It’s just a game. I’m, hehehe, I’m sorry okay? We were just having a little fun is all.” She ran her treacherous hands down my back in an effort to calm me, to little effect.
“Dumb game. Stupid… start the next mission…”
She chuckled a bit. “Maybe we should play a different game. You don’t seem real happy playing this one.”
That made my tail flick in light amusement though the frustration. “Now you sound like my Dad…” My anger at the game started to fade more and more, replaced with a growing sensation of guilt. ”I-I think that’s a good idea. Um, sorry about that.”
She removed her hand, but kept her eyes on me and the gooey trail now stringing from her hand. “Eugh… hey, you’re fine. If you can deal with us screaming at each other, then we can handle your little squeaks.”
The other two smiled and nodded in agreement while I looked at her in confusion, feeling a little offended. “My… squeaks? But, um, thank you... W-what's the next game? Hailey’s turn, right?”
On cue, she brushes her mane to the side and starts scrolling down. “Yes, actually! Unlike these two walnuts, I actually picked a relaxing game. A classic. An art piece~” Her hands did a slight flair, yet I remained unmoved.
“Hailey, that's what the other two said too. While those games were… fine, I wouldn’t call them ‘masterpieces.’ Are you sure about this one?” I asked while grabbing another brownie.
I keep eating these things, but I just feel more and more hungry… weird…
The Humans chucked as she selected her game. “Hey, have a little faith in me. I haven't met a Human alive that can say this game is bad. Just watch!”
A flash came from the TV as the game's title came into view.
Minecraft: Anniversary Edition.
“We’ll use one of the worlds we were playing on back on Earth so you can get an idea of what it’s really like. And, uh, make sure it's peaceful too, just in case.”
I took a bite of the treat and settled into my spot, preparing myself for whatever was to come.
{CONTINUED INTO THE COMMENTS}

This will answer some questions and describe more about the lore of round table
Mr 0 -
He is Arthur’s grandfather and the cofounder of the round table he met Arthur’s grandmother in 1960s America
He mainly is like an Alfred to the round table supplying them with support when needed
CT - Number Line
Mr 0 can place a number line with the numbers varying with this he can remove the damage output by an attack sent towards him and the farther the attack goes to the number line the less it does
If the attack goes past 0 then the attack will go to his side and will be controlled by him
RCT - Angle
He can show an angle that points up that he can send himself or others through
Max Technique - Line of Duty
He can effect more things with his number line including speed time strength ect
Apocalypse -
It’s a cursed object possessed by a cursed spirit it was formed before the heian era it will only open when 10 people assign their cursed energy to it
It can tell the location of dangers around the world but only if you do a quest first which can range from beating a cursed spirit to capturing a cursed object
Cursed objects -
The round table has a lot of cursed objects that they uses sometimes unless they are damgerous
List
Cursed whistle- when blown through it it will attract cursed spirits towards it
Equalizer - a sword that whatever opponent it’s against will match its power
Tag - made by the 9th member it’s a glove that when touched will make an outline of the opponent to make them easier to track
Decay - a 16 pack of cigarettes that when smoke will allow the smoker’s breath to decay anything it breaths at
Soul Reaper - a scythe that when slashed will separate soul from body
Soul toucher - life sapping arm gauntlets that allows someone to touch someone’s soul
The pen is mightier than the sword - made by Pedro it allows for him to draw on any surface and affect the surface he drew on Ex (if he draws a line through a wall it will slice the wall )
Rubber hose anvil - when the anvil is dropped on someone’s head it will squash them to the floor
Newtons hand - said to be made from Issac newton a had that when something touches it it will change its course of gravity
George Hatchet - made from George Washington it is a trick cursed tool while it looks like a dangerous weapon when touched it forces someone to tell the truth
Teddy - mistakenly thought to be made from teddy rossevelt it’s a teddy bear that when its owner is threatened will turn into a monstrous beast the power of this beast is calculated by how much the owner cares for it and how long it lived with it
Bubble wand - it’s a small stick of bubble solution that can trap anything in it
Sticky solution - a pack of gum that can connect any two things stuck together
Maker of ideas - a lightbulb that when asked a question will posess the person and answer it to its best knowledge from that person it also gains the information of whoever it possesses
Baking soda Volcano - a cursed object made by a kid at the science fair when activated it will make a worse lava that burns but doesn’t set things on fire and can come out infinitely
Fossil record - a book that when shown a fossil will 1 document that fossil and 2 make that fossil come to life
War toys - small toys of war that when sent out can either change their size to become real or stay that size either way they still will fire at an opponent and it will do the same amount of damage small or big
Immersive painting - made by bob ross it’s a cursed object that allows for you to actually go into the painting
Amount of 5 - made from Abraham Lincoln inspired by the confederate note inside his pocket it allowed for someone to make 5 of anything
Shadow of night - cape that allows the user to teleport wherever their is shadow

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Chapter III - Is that baklava, or are you just happy to see me? San Francisco, California - Market & Castro - June 1st, 2008
Number 5: "So there I was, at a Fetus/GWAR concert and I'm right at the barricade at the very front between sets, and there's this super HOT fucking bouncer chick, right? And she's staring right at me, and I look right at Oderus, and he looks right at me, and we both stare at this fine ass bouncer working crowd security at the front. Then, just out of nowhere, she lifts her shirt and whips her tits out and points at her mouth, and they aim the blood canon right at her and absolutely blast her with purple monster blood all over her in the face and tits. And me and Oderus look at her, then each other, and then just shrug, and man. It was fucking awesome..."
Command: "When was the last time you went to a GWAR concert, Five?"
Number 5: "It was at least back in 03'... Hold up. We've got Cookie monsters gathering in Jane Warner Plaza... You seeing this Seven?"
Number 7/Overwatch: "Copy that, five. They just hopped out of the MUNI, and looks like they're getting hot for boy pussy... Fucking dickholes..."
Command: "Okay ladies, don't get your panties in a twist. We need this to go down quietly. Do you have eyes on the package?"
Number 6: "Packages everywhere. Literally, but not the one we're looking for..."
Number 8: "Be advised, we've got Hajis and Skinnies popping out of the Muni station. Looks like they're here for more than just tail. Do you see this Command?"
Command: "Roger that, Eight. Keep it tight and don't let them out of your sight. Five, I want a danger close tail on those fuckwads, and find out if they're here for the package."
Number 5: "Copy, Command. I'll drop a line to the West Side Story boys, and see if they can keep a visual. Just a sec... Crutchie, do you read?"
Crutchie: "Oooh, is that who I think it is? Five, Darling. You never called me back after last time... And I thought we had sooo much in common."
Number 5: "Well that was before you made out with and keestered our asset, and made him pop positive for molly on a piss test, Crutchie..."
Crutchie: *Twirls a lock of hair* Whatever, Five. And he was soooo hot to trot too. Tsssssss."
Number 6: "Doesn't Crutchie always try to bone all of our assets?"
Crutchie: "Only if they're hot enough, Six..."
Number 8: "By the way Crutchie, really digging the whole hipsteClark Kent get up you've got going for you. Does it normally get you tagged by boner, or is that how you always dress when courting an investment banker?"
Crutchie: "Only when they're getting right off of work and hitting the club scene, Eight. Okay, I've got visual on the Skinnies. I'll have Leather Daddy run the tail from here, and we'll have Gilette and Stabby watch from their perch."
Number 6: "Tell Gilette I said Hi. Is she still dating that fucking twat from Jersey? Last time we had an engagement, she almost blew the whole damned OP over a tray of creme brulee..."
Crutchie: "Yeah, well bitch had a sweet tooth... Never get between a woman and what she's craving during a pregnancy..."
Number 7/Overwatch: "We've got a problem. Looks like the Skinnies are heading over to the deli for some falafel, and they've got company. Looks like the Greek mobsters from Kearny Street we saw last week..."
Command: "Keep it cool, ladies. The last thing we need is for one of you to get made if these fuckers start exchanging bullets. Hopefully they keep their dildos in their holsters..."
Crutchie: "Speaking of dildos, when's the last time you had some poon, Five? It's been what, over a year since you had that hot goth chick you were making out with at my mom's apartment? Or are you into dudes now?"
Number 5: "I don't get attached, Crutchie. I'm here for a good time, not a long time. Remember?"
Crutchie: "Okay, if you say so, but you still didn't answer my question, darling..."
Stabby: "Daddy, do you have visual? Pop a twenty in the deli and order some baklava. Find out if these fuckers are here for the package."
Leather Daddy: "If you say so, sweetie. And ooooh, good call. The baklava is to die for. You've absolutely gotta try some sometime..."
Stabby: "Be advised, Six. We've got the Sesame Street convention hopping out of the MUNI station. Looks like the perverts you warned us about on the APB."
Number 6: "Got visual, and yep. Those are the same perps."
Crutchie: "I don't want to be a party pooper, ladies, but I've got an investment banker to impress... Think you can party with Stabby and Gilette for now?"
Number 5: "Damn it, Crutchie... and by impress you mean..."
Crutchie: "Always sweetheart."
*The four suspects start heading over to the Palestinian Deli*
Number 6: "We've got a problem, looks like the Cookie Monsters already know the Greek Malacca fuckwads... Command, you seeing this?"
Command: "Affirmative, Six. Standby for further instructions. Daddy, how's the baklava looking?"
Leather Daddy: "Oooh, sweet as can be. You like shwarma, sweetie?"
Command: "Not really, Daddy. Kebabs are my thing, and usually salmon if they have it, and have decent enough tatsiki sauce."
Number 7/Overwatch: "One of the skinnies isn't looking so hot. You see the heat on him? He's burning up..."
Crutchie: "And by burning up, I'm going to assume you mean in a less than sexy way?"
Stabby: "Confirmed on the thermal, Seven. He's got a temp of over 107 .
*The Somalian youth in the leather jacket keels over to his hands and knees and starts coughing up blood*
Number 6: "Well, that's not a good sign... You seeing this command?"
Command: "Affirmative, Six. Keep a distance in case he's got ebola or some shit. Daddy? Be advised, the skinny in front of the deli is coughing up blood. Keep a good gap and follow the others when they move.
Leather Daddy: "Yes, Mommy. I thought you'd never ask."
Stabby: "Looks like the Hajis are heading across the street to the bodega next to the bakery/ice cream shop. Standby, Daddy. This could get complicated. Let's see what these fuckers are about.
Leather Daddy: "Oooh, what a co-inky-dink. My girls are getting ready for Rocky tonight. They're at Starbucks right now. Should I give them a ringy-dingy?
Gilette: "Copy that, Daddy. The more the merrier."
Number 6: "Looks like the Skinnies are on the move, and they don't seem to give a fuck about their buddies well being, they're just dragging him along..."
Number 7/Overwatch: "Yep, looks like they're heading into the plaza in front of Twin Peaks right now. Those Malacca fucks are still milling about with the Sesame Street parade."
Number 5: "Copy that. Let's keep the logistics for this shit under wraps. Dykie, Stabby, Daddy? We'll do a split push. You have your girls at Starbucks watch the Hajis, and we'll keep an eye on the Plaza. If anymore Cookie Monsters pop up out of the Muni, I'm going to get fucking heartburn."
July 2nd, 2008 - 2148 Hours San Francisco, California - Market & Castro - June 1st, 2008
*The four Muhajadeen gatherered in front of the bodega, while the elder with the flowing beard and trucker cap walked in the front door. Sueliman lit a cigarette while Mohammed and Ismael looked at Mehmed sideways*
*Simultaneously, Dave and Richard sat in Jane Warner Plaza, reading magazines and eating sandwiches they bought moments earlier from next door to Twin Peaks.*
Sgt. Dave: "You ever get the feeling we're in the wrong line of work? I mean, with all the shit going on in the world today, we could be overseas making a difference, and instead we're walking a beat to protect a bunch of entitled liberals and hipsters..."
Pvt. Richard: "You're barking up the wrong tree with that one, Sarge. I already did my tour, and it was a steaming pile of dog shit. War is still not over. Not by a long shot. I'll take walking a beat with this crowd any time, compared to getting keestered in some Iraqi shithole mosque's basement, any day of the fucking week."
Number 5: "Be on the lookout, we've got two cops sitting in the plaza and they are completely fucking clueless to the Sesame Street brigade gathering around them."
Stabby: "Copy that, Five. They're beat cops, and they're usuals in this neck of the woods. They're not involved in policing this kind of shit..."
Leather Daddy: "Ooooh girls, looks like we got some boys from the Bin Laden fan club gathering in front of the bodega, and I think they're there to buy more than just bongs and zig zags..."
Number 6: "Copy that, Daddy. Looks like the Skinnies are walking past the Cafe and are heading down Market. The Greeks are still hanging out in front of the deli..."
Gilette: "Looks like Rip Van Wrinkle from the Muhajedeen is going to be in there for a while. Standby. Yo, Daddy. Can you get a stoner or hardcore pothead to drop in there and see what the fuck is going on inside?
Leather Daddy: "Passing Squat and Gobble right now, tailing the pirates. I'll see what I can do... Heeeeeey, Javier?"
Javier: "God damn it, dude. I told you not to call me this early. I'm not holding and the dispensary doesn't restock until Tuesday..."
Leather Daddy: "Well, see. If you could help a brother out, I've got this group from the Bin Laden fan club at the bodega bong shop around the corner from the flag, and I really need someone to drop by and give a looksie. Could you be a dear and do me a favor, just this once?"
Javier: "Yeah, yeah, Daddy-o. I'll have one of the Punk rockers from up the street drop by and get a pair of ears in there. It could be a minute though..."
Leather Daddy: "Ahoy! The sooner the better sweetie. We're running a tight ship."
Javier: "Got someone walking up the block on a parallel route right now. Should be there in a minute twenty."
Leather Daddy: "Fantastic! I'll definitely owe you one, Javi."
Javier: "Any time, Daddy-O."
*Just then, a Ford Explorer pulled up at the intersection of Market and Castro, with 20" rims and neon lights on the under carriage. "Mac Dre" was dumping out of the woofers*
Stabby: "And look who it is..."
Gilette: "Sauce boss is early today, eh?"
Stabby: "Probably about to hit the Cafe for the usual customers. If they run into the Sesame Street convention in the plaza, we could be looking at a shootout in the making..."
Number 6: "Be advised, Greeks are looking heated."
Number 5: "Don't tell me those malacca fuckwads are thinking what I think they're thinking..."
Command: "Five, Six, Seven, Eight! Do NOT engage! I repeat! Do NOT engage!"
Gilette: "Oh, Motherfucker-"
*The Greeks in front of the Palestinian deli eyeballed the Ford Explorer and reached into their coats as it rounded the corner on Castro. That's when Intratec Tec DC-9s with extended barrels and 30 round mags popped out of the windows, and it began to rain 9mm x 19mm shell casings and ball parabellum rounds.* _.-=-._.-=-._.-=-._.-=-._.-=-._.-=-._.-=-._.-=-._.-=-._.-=-._.-=-._.-=-.
Chapter 4 - We need more cone charges... Hayward, California - July 6th 2008 - 0324 Hours Mobile Task Force - Epsilon Bravo VII (The Renegades)
EB7-5: "Well that was a shitshow the other night..."
EB7-6: "Yeah, tell me about it, Five. And we got reassigned to the Scooby Squad and the Mystery Machine? Literally, how in the fuck does that happen?"
EB7-8: "Well, those coke dealers weren't playing around when those Greek kid fuckers reached for their jammies..."
EB7-7/Overwatch: "No shit. It was curtains the minute they dug in. Damned shamed about the package though, we almost had that fucker."
EB7-6: "Hey Five, you know if those cops made it? The ones in the plaza?"
EB7-5: "They were wearing standard issue kevlar. The few strays the sergeant caught to the torso tagged him in the vest, but one got him in the shoulder. The Private got one in the pelvis, so he's in ICU still. We don't know if he'll pull through."
EB7-8: "They were a game changer though, through and through. Lucky for the Sergeant, that Private was a Seal."
EB7-5: "Well, that made all the difference in that world." she said, making a wide covering arc with her extended barrel AA-12 as she knelt and held up a balled fist to Six and Eight, a 30 round drum of 12-gauge Thamauturgically enhanced cobalt slugs hung from beneath her weapon, and two more drums were in her pack, just like the rest of her 3 person fire team whom also had similar loadouts of AA-12s, each one with a secondary loadout of short barrel SCAR-Light bullpups and several 30 round magazines in their Boron-Ceramic armor's LBVs. Seven had standard issue .50 Cal tungsten carbide SLAP rounds enhanced with neutronic singularity dispersement tips at the ready, and an FN-FS2000 with lithium plasma phase differential bullets.
EB7-Command: "Good evening, Ladies..."
EB7-6: "Holy fuck, is that Gator?"
EB7-Command: "The one and only, Six."
EB7-5: "Congrats on the promotion, Captain. Glad to have you join us..."
EB7-Command: "Thanks, Five. I'd hate to be the bearer of bad news, but switch to your visors. You've got some tangoes up ahead and I don't think they're here for tea."
EB7-5: "Roger that. Gear up girls, this is what we signed up for. Switching to multispectral..."
Professor Chaos: "Wait for me to run point up ahead, and you three cover me. I need to see what these things are up to..."
EB7-5: "Copy that, Skippy. Just don't get your damned arms ripped off, got it?"
Professor Chaos: "Roger that, Five. I'm Oscar Mike, with Charlie..." he said, as he closed his eyes and began walking, doing his best to concentrate, craning his head from right to left. Taking a bandana out of his pouch, he tied it around his eyes so he wouldn't have any distractions...
Professor Chaos: "Be advised, I'm reading some temporal-spatial anomalies about half a click ahead."
EB7-Command: 'You can fucking see that shit, Skippy?"
Professor Chaos: "Five, now would be a damned good time to deploy a mobile Scranton Beam Projector..."
EB7-5: "Copy that, Skippy. Tripod deploying the directed energy stabilization field in ten seconds." Ten seconds later, there was a brief temporal distortion, and the spatial fabric of the facility wavered and shimmered momentarily.
EB7-5: "Temporal-Spatial stabilization synchronized, Skippy. You're clear to proceed."
EB7-6: "Didn't Nazis used to use this place as a secret base after the war?"
EB7-Command: "Correct, Six. Those fuckers were hiding under everyone's noses for decades until OSI flushed them out in the 70's. Place has been In-OP and direlect for decades, but the Serpents Legion teamed up with what was left of the Ahnernerbe Inner Circle back in the Satanic Panic of the 80's and 90's. They've been using the place on and off since then..."
EB7-Gunny: "Lance and I will keep watch here on the surface and give you a heads up if anyone decides to drop by. As of now though, not a soul knows were here, and Higher made sure to keep it dark on signals. We're the only one's that will be in or out... Professor, don't get shanked by a fucking sorcerer now, or worse get Shanghai'ed by the damned cult. Motherfuckers will be sad if your ass gets eaten by a God damned monster, Skippy..."
Lance Corporal Todd slung the M32A1 over his torso as he slid the extra clips of .308 into the LBV on his Boron/Ceramic armor. Taking his bullpup SCAR Heavy with suppressor and Multispec scope, he gave a brief once over of his gear. Corpsman Bill did the same, as did Gunny Wilson. Each one had similar rotary grenade launchers with high explosive armor piercing 40mm grenades, and extra ordinance and munitions in their packs, including cone charges, claymores, and various utility grenades like flashbangs and thermite. Taking one last look at each other, they switched on their quantum camouflage, and their forms shimmered and disappeared to visible light spectrum. Switching to back scatter X-Ray/Multispec, they nodded to each other and made off to secure the entrances at the perimeter.
EB7-Bill: "Did you make sure to wash with hunter's soap and scent free baking soda deodorant, guys?"
EB7-Wilson: "Copy that, Corpsman. I can't even smell myself."
EB7-Todd: "Yeah, it's weird. It's like 99 degrees right now and I'm not even sweating, let alone smelling myself. At least it's not like Mississippi..."
Just then a pair of headlights could be seen rolling down towards the warehouses. The sound of Reggaton could be heard on subwoofer.
EB7-Bill: "Well boys, it looks like we've got company, and I don' think they're here for the same reason we are. Let's just hope its a drug deal or an arms sale, and let them go on their way."
An electrical company van's headlights could be seen coming from the opposite direction, and it was being followed by a repair truck with a bucket lift.
EB7-Wilson: "I Get the creeping suspicion that these cats aren't here to check the meter."
EB7-Todd: "Command, be advised. We've got activity here on the surface. Looks like gangster shit, but we've also got some utility workers on their way to the street parallel to us. What do you want us to do for now?"
EB7-Command: "I'm less worried about the gangsters, and more concerned about the utility workers. Keep an eye on them. Especially if they start snooping around.
EB7-Bill: "Copy that, Command. We'll be on the lookout."
The Escalade bumping the reggaton pulled off to a side road a few streets over, and the Utility van and bucket truck pulled the same way. More headlights could be seen as two vehicles came from the same direction as the gangsters. One was a Dodge grand caravan, and the other was a Ford F-350 XL.
EB7-Wilson: "Oh shit, this can't be good. Command, you seeing this?" It was then that the microwave uplink to the aerial surveillance drone scrambled and cut out.
EB7-Command: "Well fuck me running, boys, but looks like the drone's feed just ate shit, and the timing of theses utility workers and gangsters is a little too convenient. Stay in the shadows. It looks like they're here for us and the girls..."
Three men in body armor with kitted out Ak-47s and NV goggles hopped out of the Escalade. Five more hopped out of the minivan, equally geared up. Two hopped out of the truck, and went around back for large metal cases and dragged them to the ground, as well as three C-Bags. A man in a white suit with a white cabana hat stepped out of the Utility Van, and lit a cigar.
Mercenary Captain: "Buenos Tardes, Patron. Es tiempo." The man in the white, gave him one stern look and simply said, "¿Si? Bien."
The Captain pointed his AK-47 at the ground as he slapped the side of the truck twice and yelled to the men, "Vamanos puez! Andele!" The nine men gathered around, and each one dropped to one knee, and lowered their heads. Taking a puff of his cigar and pinching it between his fingers, the man in white outstretched his arms and stepped forward.
Man In White: "Welcome, Children of the Night! The Serpent is with us. I do hope you are all ready to do the Lord's work..."
It was at this point that the power went out for the entire grid to the whole city. All the lights and ground communications went dark in that very moment.
Man In White: "Viya con dios, Mijos."
They all rose to their feet and immediately began unloading the crates of rocket launchers and light machine guns, and ammo boxes.
EB7-Wilson: "Yeah. Guess they're not here to check the meter fellas. These aren't Mexican mafia at all... They're something else..."
EB7-Command: "Hopefully they don't see you yet..."
It was then that the Man in White walked 90 º perpendicular to physical 4th dimensional reality and winked out of existence. His men did a double take and stood there flabbergasted for at least a minute looking around until the Captain said, "Get back to work!"
EB7-Wilson: "You fucking see that shit, Gator?"
EB7-Command: "Yeeeeeah. That's NOT a good sign. Ladies, this is probably not a good time, but we've got our hands full up here. Stick to securing the objective with Professor Chaos. We've got a mess about to happen and will do our best to hold them off while we can."
EB7-5: "Yeah, we got a Temporal-Spatial distortion spike right before you told us. Well stick with Skippy. Seven, you're up here with us. All of us will stick in a five man team from here on out. Going radio dark, Command. We don't know if our COMS encryption's been burned yet.
EB7-Command: "Good call, Five. We'll head down there as soon as we get this handled. Good luck." Wilson, Todd, and Bill, held their positions and aimed their weapons at the entourage of mercenaries.
EB7-Wilson: "Don't do a thing unless they fire at us. It's better we aren't seen and don't have to engage unless we have no other options."
The Man in White's voice echoed in Wilson's head.
Man In White: "I appreciate you demonstrating a professional courtesy of sparing my men, Gunnery Sergeant Dennis Nathaniel Wilson, and honestly you and your fireteam could have killed them all rather quickly if you were motivated enough. However, I cannot guarantee the girls success of securing the relic. You will find that its guardians can be rather- persistent. Now tell me more about the SCIP friend of yours...Professor Chaos."
EB7-Wilson: "I remember your from Peshwar. You were with the general from ISI in '03." *His eyes widened* "You're-" Wilson's eyes rolled back into his head and he began twitching as he entered a fugue state and convulsed and foamed at the mouth. He fell to the ground unconscious shortly thereafter. He plopped like a ragdoll with an invisible *thud*. It was then that the Man in White began probing his memories...
EB7-Command: "Wilson! Damn it Gunny, Wake UP!"
_ To Be Continued...

So basically one day I was coughing ( week after second covid vaccine) I was coughing and got anxiety thinking I had covid, and the next day woke up with this dry like throat and it’s been every day for 3 years. The one reason I believe it’s not long covid, is because non of my family or my brothers who are just as healthy as me would get this. That’s why I think it’s reflux. My doctor diagnosed me with a gastroesophageal reflux disease without esophagitis. But famotidine is not curing sore throat.
Every morning I wake up with a sour taste in my esophagus and throat too Hi everyone, so long story. In May of 2021 I tested positive for Covid-19, I had bad cough sore throat etc, I healed from the virus and felt good, got my vaccines thinking life was good, until a few weeks after a vaccine, I started coughing like a lot I was hacking ( this was out of know where) I woke up next morning throat feeling dry, I thought I had like a cold because my throat became dry and sore. I went to urgent care they said it’s long Covid, no test were ran nothing. This was the entire summer of 2021 for me lol, so I had this dry throat for 3 years, now it was fine because the throat dryness went away when I would eat, so I would chew gum to pass time. I did some research and it definitely sounds like lpr reflux, my esophagus is dry when waking up, and I’m constantly having post nasal drip. I didn’t try any diet and famotdine and prisolic aren’t helping either, all the medications aren’t helping this sore throat, it makes me very angry that no medicine is helping. I’m starting to wonder if it’s permanent damage. I asked my primary doctor what these symptoms related to and she said a reflux disease, now how come won’t the sore throat heal. Does anyone know by any chance if it’s LPR or long Covid. My symptoms is dry throat, sometimes a cough, dry and sour esophagus, post nasal drip, and trouble breathing. Sometimes my esophagus and vocal cord area feels weak. Diet not so good, drink soda, sparkling water, fast food, pizza, etc Foods that bother me, sourdough bread, cream cheese, chocolate etc. ( these foods make my esophagus feel sour) I’m trying baking soda and water today as of rn it’s same. Still sore throat improved from 2 years ago but’s it’s driving me nuts and the back of my throat gets irrated, I tried fasting and that made the throat even worse. However I burp often and if I force a burp it feels better sometimes, but in general I don’t have heartburn so I believe it’s something silent. Thank you everyone, also eating and chewing gum takes the sore throat away. Will the sore throat be cured it my main question or is it permanent? The esophagus is sour taste, I feel discomfort sometimes, and I have like a feeling of something stuck in my throat, I don’t cough or have a raspy voice. It’s just post nasal drip and this irritated throat, I even have like a few orange dots in back of my throat. Can it be cured?

I've been working as a teacher's aide at this elementary special ed mod to severe classroom since December. I was working as a sub teacher off and on the past ten years including sped. So in a way I demoted myself by taking this position. It's not through a school district but a third party agency contracted with the school district.
Anyhow I think that may be factoring in how I feel, especially since the teacher is a young guy only 26 w a one year old daughter and I feel like he has it all ahead and I have it all behind. I'm a 40 yo woman and my daughter and only child is almost 16. The last time I was an aide was in 2013. So I admit I envy him and from the moment I started I began to think maybe the stepping down to be a para was a mistake.
Anyways the moment I started I didn't get a welcoming vibe at all the teacher didn't introduce me to anyone nobody even asked who I was I kind of felt like an invisible ghost there. I ended up introducing myself but people the other staff the Aides were in there weren't that warm or friendly to me one of them was a sub who was there on his first day so that was probably why he wasn't but yet he was friendly to the other two that were their permanently. One woman in particular was not very friendly to me at all she was very tall and kind of intimidating I'm 5 ft 2 if it matters. Anyways somehow her age came up and I said oh you look young for 34 and I told her how I was 40 and couldn't believe it and she said something like there's always botox. Another day they were reminiscing over the lady that I replaced and I have kind of thinning hair and I'm struggling with some hair loss issues and she said about that aid that she had such beautiful hair. Maybe it had nothing to do with me but it sort of felt like a dick at me like she has beautiful hair and I don't? And I sense that they didn't like me because later the teacher told me what they said about me and I'm not sure why he told me that but somehow it came up I think I expressed to him my feelings and not feeling welcome there. And I guess they thought that I wasn't the right fit because a boy passed gas very bad and I guess I had expressed disgust at it I probably shouldn't have but it just sort of came out of me. A lot of these special needs kids have very foul smells.
The other lady who was who was still there was always on her phone ignoring me barely spoke to me when I asked her her name she just said yes I wanted to make sure I was calling her the right name. I found out her brother was on a ventilator due to fentanyl overdose and he subsequently died at only 20 something so I thought okay she's grieving she's morning that's why she doesn't really talk to me she didn't really take any bereavement leave for some reason but she would miss a couple of days or come to work crying. I told her I was sorry for her loss but because I didn't know her very well I didn't think I should keep talking to her about it. Anyways the tall lady ended up leaving to go somewhere else and we had just started to get on good terms. another aide came in and so did another aid. That's another thing about this job is it just feels like there's too many adults in this room there's more adults than kids! And I think that is part of the problem and the majority of us are women and I hate to say but I think that is part of the problem too. I feel that I do better in more gender diverse environments as women can be very catty and mean to each other. I hate to generalize but it's honestly true.
There's been a lot of mean girl energy. The only one that I really feel is on my side is another aid who is an older lady from the Philippines and she's really sweet and I've never had a problem with her. But the lady whose brother died of fentanyl she's never been warm or friendly to me but I noticed with the new staff she's been friendly to them and it's like a totally different person it's like night and day. I thought to myself ,"oh it's because her brother died" but that's not it then I thought "oh maybe it's because I'm older than her she's only 29" but she's warm and friendly to this new aide who is much older than me. It's been like a revolving door there with aideS coming and going from various agencies.
Anyways there's a lady there that was really nice to me at first and nobody actually liked her at first they thought she was too domineering and I actually took her side and defended her and during a meeting where we all got together the co-worker that I do like and her sort of got into it and I had said let's just be calm and she said the new aide pulled me aside and said she felt like I was the only one who was not against her. I ended up giving her a ride to Target one day when she needed it because she doesn't have a car and walks to work she lives nearby.
anyways that day after I gave her the ride maybe she felt we were getting too close and wanted to squash it I don't know? She began acting oddly passive aggressive towards me. For example that following morning she randomly came up to me and grabbed my back and straightened it. In front of everyone! She said I have bad posture I need to fix it and then she said it was the first thing she noticed about me when she first started. Like really? Not my light blue eyes which is what most people notice right away? Or my soft voice or wavy hair like you really just noticed a flaw? She said she tried to back pedal how insulting it was and said you have such a cute figure but you would look so much better if you fix your posture I don't know I just really didn't like that and then later that day she yelled at me about one of the students across the yard when there are other adults near him too
And yesterday she did it again she was sitting on the bench with the coworker whose brother died and the teacher they were all just sitting there talking looking like high schoolers hanging out. This coworker by the way is the same age as me just a few months younger. Anyways the other staff member who's relatively new but is really made a name for self and fits in and she's in her 60s everyone calls her mama Lori and she acts one towards everyone but me I think it's because it's the herd mentality where she realizes I'm not the liked one and I'm the persona non grata and the weakest link so she's not as warm and friendly towards me. She'll buy everyone else beer for the weekend but not me I don't like beer anyway but she doesn't know that.
Anyways one of the students was getting into the mud puddle behind us and I could sense he was there but I had been helping the student the whole time and frankly I was tired of seeing them sitting on their butts just watching everyone do the work including the teacher when he's paid way more than me! So she yelled at me from across the yard and I said kind of rudely "what?" And she told me to go get him and I spoke up and said " I'm not the only adult standing here "which is true... The lady who they call Mama Lori was actually right near me too but was talking to another staff member about small talk. I just don't understand why she always asks me instead of other people who are nearby? And also why don't you get up off your rear end and go get them if you're that concerned? I just feel like people expect me to pull my weight more than they pull theirs and then when I don't do that they act like I'm a slacker or that I don't care about these kids or I'm not doing my job.
She's also constantly making little digs about my parenting that I've nothing to do with the job in my opinion and is really none of her business. She knows I have a teenage daughter and my mistake was I confided in her that sometimes I have trouble getting my daughter to listen or cooperate with me on going to school in the morning and I was just making a comparison between myself and one mother of a girl in the classroom who acts up she had brought it up that the girl is going to have behavioral issues later in life if the mother doesn't get her under control and I was just adding to what she was saying. This was a while back when I thought she was trustworthy and I confide in her. Now I feel like she constantly uses it as ammunition against me. For example I was helping one of the boys clean up the blocks. He's nonverbal and autistic as a lot of them in the classroom are so it's hard to really get him to comply or do stuff so I began just putting the blocks in the box for him because it was circle time in the teacher wanted us to clean up. She goes up to us and says I know that you do this with your daughter and help her clean up but you can't do that here you need to have him clean it up I wanted to tell her off right then and there but I bit my tongue and just smiled and walked off I really don't appreciate her making comments about my parenting style or about my daughter and she doesn't really know anything about us or the context of our lives or anything she only knows a snippet based on what I've told her and now she uses it against me and makes it all comments about it. Which I feel is very inappropriate and uncalled for. I want to keep my personal life separate from my work life.
And yesterday was finally the straw that broke the camel's back. I was on my lunch break and clocked out. Normally I eat in my car or in the staff lounge. But it was too hot to eat in my car in my AC doesn't work so great plus I needed access to a microwave to heat up my food normally I'll bring portable food like a salad or leftover cold pasta. Anyways, I was going to eat in the staff lounge but the microwave for some reason was being all wonky and wouldn't work. So I had to walk all the way back to use the microwave in the pod the lobby of the classrooms that we work in. It's called the special ed pod. So I use that microwave to heat up my food but I didn't feel like walking all the way back down across campus to the staff lounge I only get a half hour lunch. so I was eating my hot noodles and my strawberries and just drinking my soda and reading an article on my phone. Keep in mind this is an UNPAID OFF DUTY lunch. I clocked out on my phone to go to it.
Anyways her and the boy that she normally works with we're running by me. I didn't think much of it it didn't look like anything Dyer was happening and to be honest I wasn't really paying attention as I was on my lunch break and in my own world. And she said to me sort of tongue in cheek" I don't have him" and she was holding a urine-filled diaper in her hand while the boy was jogging slowly ahead of her. I didn't really fully perceive what she meant because like I said I was kind of in my own world on my lunch and not really paying attention to them. I thought that she just meant itsort of figuratively and I'm not sure what she expected me to do and I didn't read her cues correctly. I also have a diagnosed anxiety disorder and I have OCD and I have social anxiety and sometimes I'm not really able to read social cues very well people have to be very specific and direct with me. My daughter was diagnosed with autism spectrum and I'm pretty sure that I might be too just undiagnosed. Anyways I said" oh let me call the teacher " and she muttered something under her breath and I don't know what it was and then he ran off and she threw the diaper on the floor and then I saw the teacher while I was calling him he happened to be walking by and I told him that she needed help with him and then by that point she said ultra sweetly to him "oh I've got it now." then she made a comment to me I didn't know "off-duty meant off duty completely, wow if you see a child running by you're really just off duty huh" and I got kind of angry at that moment and I said "what do you mean by that?" I said "i am on my lunch break and I didn't know you needed my help and I'm not paid on my lunch break," and she said "if I said I don't have him what does that mean to you " and I said "well I didn't understand the danger of the situation he was just walking quickly in front of you" and I said "what did you expect me to do , drop my food and pick up a dirty diaper what did you expect me to do? And then I said this is exactly why I don't normally eat in this pod what would you have done if I were eating in my car or eating in the staff lounge? I'm just a convenient person for you to scapegoat". My blood was boiling and I could feel myself going too far. Then I said "I'm tired of you bossing me around I'm tired of you always telling me what to do and acting like you're in charge of me" because it's true she does this quite often.
I was extremely upset after and she walked away and I called my boss about it and told her the whole thing including my part and she thankfully took my side and said " all I'm hearing is that you were off duty and on an unpaid lunch she should not have asked you anything".
Another co-worker who is an aide in the class next door had observed the whole thing and she said to me quietly " they would never do that to me in my room we respect each other's lunches".
The teacher is nice, and I know it's his first year of teaching and I try to be patient and compassionate with him cuz I know what it's like to be new at teaching but I think that's also what frustrates me so much too like I said I do have some envy for him and I also feel like people go easier on him than they ever did on me when I was a new teacher like I said I was a special ed long-term teacher before well long-term sub but couldn't keep up with the greeting and the IEPs and all that it was a lot of pressure for me. But I feel like people are more merciful towards him than they were towards me honestly if something happens to that kid the liability is on him and not on me because he's the teacher it's ultimately his responsibility and I get frustrated because he's paid at least 2,000 more per month than I am so I feel like if anyone should be heavily Hands-On and heavily involved it should be him but a lot of times I feel like he's very nonchalant and doesn't step in and yet people instead of going to him they go to me for some odd reason when I'm just a para like they are! I got out of sub teaching so I wouldn't be the go-to person all the time I was actually trying to get away from this very thing and it's even worse stepping into this career for even less pay!
I have decided next year I'm just going to return to sub teaching I've already told the job that I do not want to return to that classroom or that school year next year and they didn't really care to ask why but I did let them know just too much drama and it is not been a healthy work environment for me and I think they have an idea but they don't want to address it or face it. A lot of these employers don't really care or want to hear about these problems
there's only three more weeks left of school and then I'll be doing summer school until July 9th and then I'm going to actively look for something else and if I find something before then I'm going to jump and take it but in the meantime this is the only job and income that I have right now I could go back to sub teaching but it may not be the best financial decision now because there will be no summer work at all for me and I cannot go 3 months without any sort of income. So my question is am I being bullied or am I the jerk here? Am I just overreacting in too sensitive or are people actually being settling mean to me?

This story was originally written July 2023.
You might have heard of me. I was a social media influencer for two years.
I know kids have “influencer” as one of their top professions these days, but for me it was all an accident, really. I uploaded a few YouTube videos back in 2019, in the summer I finished school. All I did was rant about movies. I had a few notes, not a full script, and just spouted off to my laptop camera about inaccurate science, bad casting choices, real nitpicky stuff. In about six months I’d got 200 subscribers.
I was at university then, and I mentioned my videos to some of my uni friends. They subbed and told their friends, and I got up to 1,000 sub by January 2020. My videos were only about ten minutes long, and I had nowhere near the views to monetise. I was making one a week, but not on any sort of schedule. It was just something I did when I was bored.
Then the pandemic hit. A lot of students here in England basically got locked into their halls of residence (that’s dorms for any Americans reading), but I was lucky enough to get back to my parents’ before then. So I was doing what my uni laughably called “remote learning”, which basically meant a couple of video lectures a week, some worksheets, and lots and lots of my own research. I won’t bore you with the topic of my course; it’s not relevant.
I’m not exactly stereotypically pretty. I’ve come to accept that. My hair is stringy, my nose is too big, my face is profoundly asymmetrical, my complexion is strange and acned, my teeth are crooked … You get the idea. You can only do so much with makeup and hair that covers your face. I probably have fewer friends than I would if I looked like other people, and it actually took a lot of courage to make that first video - and even more courage to upload it.
I can only assume that’s the reason I went viral. It certainly wasn’t the high production values, or the tightly-written scripts, or the quality of my research. On the 9th of April I had 1,322 subscribers. On the 10th it was over 8,000. By the end of April it was up to 300,000, and I had actually monetised my channel.
The comments were … well, they were varied. Lots of hate because of my looks, but lots of love from people who just appreciated what I put out there, calling out others for their negative comments. I know many social media stars struggle with unkind comments, but I’d got used to it. Let’s be honest, they weren’t nice, but neither were they untrue. And comments under your video are easier to ignore than comments in the street. I was making decent money after all. If you were one of those commenters, you know which side you were on, and I love you either way. Thanks for the engagement - it’s not easy to gain financially from your unusual appearance!
The trouble with going viral is that it doesn’t last. Competing in the fast-paced world of internet stardom takes a lot of effort. I started experimenting with other things - YouTube shorts, TikTok, Instagram, pretty much anything going. The format that turned out to work best was actually TikTok. I’d bought some skimpy outfits and did ridiculous little dances. I quickly reached over a thousand views per video, and while I wasn’t up to their creator tier, it still worked. A well-known cosmetics company asked to sponsor my videos.
Cosmetics! Me! I guess they were going for woke points or something. I didn’t care, they offered me more money than I knew what to do with, as long as my views stayed high. So I started making 2-minute videos. A dance without make-up, then I applied the make-up - being sure to show the brand name clear and up-close - and then the same dance with make-up. If this is ringing any bells with you, then yes - that was me. And no, stupid - that’s not my real name.
I’d got used to undesired attention of course. Along with the unpleasant comments, I got my fair share of unwelcome male approaches. For a few hours after any upload, about half of my DMs were from men, and some women (or men with female account names), asking to see more of me. I wasn’t a camgirl, though I suppose I wasn’t a million miles away from one; but I could have been. I did seriously consider it a few times, but never actually followed through.
And half of the rest of my DMs, and a good portion of the public comments, were from angry women. What made me think I had the right to show off like that? How could I bring their favourite cosmetics brand into disrepute? But I’ve got pretty thick skin (hey, I can make that joke, you can’t), and mostly laughed the comments off and ignored them.
That was, in hindsight, a mistake.
By September my uni was reopening for in-person teaching. I was working six or seven hours a day just to keep up with everything, and had a couple more brands sponsoring me. Being an influencer isn’t just about filming for ten minutes a day and watching the money come in!
So I was going to tutorials an hour a day, watching video lectures at 2x speed, and ignoring my assignments in favour of making videos and replying to messages. It’s not like my pointless degree was helping with my real job.
Okay fine. It was geology. Rocks and stuff. You happy now? I bet you can’t tell the difference between sylvite and carnallite just by licking it, can you?
Anyway, the point is I came close to being chucked out. Actually I had to repeat the second year. At least I could afford it.
So anyway, I somehow got through to the end of my second year, the end of my second year again, and part way through my third year. I was passing my exams - just - and through several reinventions I had managed to maintain my social influencer role. Last Autumn I was getting some good views, and cash, back on YouTube. I was getting pretty good at make-up (I had an exclusive deal with one company on TikTok, and another deal with a different cosmetics company on YouTube). The videos that did well then were me with experimental hairstyles and not much in the way of clothes, putting on makeup for a few minutes, then reading out-of-copyright fiction in my patented “YouTube voice”. If you can imagine a cross between Shania Twain and Marge Simpson then… well, then you’re weird, but you’ve pretty much got it.
Then, last December, a week or so before the Christmas holidays, I went out with my friends. I had made a decent number, both girls and guys, by then. I could never quite tell whether it was my personality (which I assure you is fantastic), my influencer status, or the cash I was liberal with (it always seemed to be my round, and I didn’t mind). There were even a couple of boys who were keen on me, though I hadn’t done anything about it yet. Eight of us went out together to celebrate a birthday. It wasn’t actually anybody’s birthday that day, but Shireen had a Christmas Day birthday, and she wanted a proper party.
Now I look quite different in real life than I do online. I think the technical term is “frumpy” - jeans, trainers, fluffy jumper and a hat, or maybe a hoodie. The birthday girl had somehow convinced me to put a bit more effort in, and had helped me pick out some heels and a knee-length silver dress. Make-up was easy for me of course, and so I got dressed up and off we went to the Black Swan.
The Black Swan has several great qualities about it. One: it’s cheap. Two: it does good food. Three: it’s a couple of hundred metres from The Bar. We had a decent meal, a few drinks, and around 9 we walked to The Bar.
To be more precise, they walked. I wobbled. If you’ve watched my videos you might have seen me in heels, but did you ever see me walk in them? Didn’t think so.
The Bar is open til 3 in the morning. It looks respectable enough from the outside, especially in the afternoon; but after about 11, when most pubs close, it fills up with students drinking expensive-looking drinks. And almost every night, somebody jumps up onto a table, and then everybody’s up there dancing. In The Bar, either you hold your drink tightly, or you lose it.
I’d done this before, and I can handle my alcohol. I’ve stayed at The Bar till chuckout more than a few times, and I’ve been wobbly on the way home, but I’ve never thrown up or passed out. And so I was surprised when I woke up. The last thing I remembered was Stu saying he was tired, and Shireen replying that it wasn’t even midnight yet. Now I was lying on the hard wooden floor of my living room.
My head pounded. Daylight streamed through the window, and I blinked a few times and rubbed my eyes. My hands were wet and sticky.
I looked at them. They were covered in blood.
I looked down. My heels were across the room, but I was still wearing my dress. It, also, was covered in blood, a huge stain across the chest.
Panic set in. What happened to me last night? I checked myself out and could find no injuries. Where did the blood come from?
Standing up, I realised it was worse than that. Red pools stained the wooden floor. I don’t know much medicine, but if somebody had lost this much blood, I couldn’t see how they could have survived.
I stood up, unsure whether my shaking was from the shock or the alcohol. This was when I saw a shirt on the floor behind me. White, with a subtle pattern. I’m sure I don’t need to tell you that it wasn’t my shirt. I lived alone, and rarely invited people back to my flat. I looked around some more. A pair of men’s black leather shoes by the door. And then I saw it.
I suppose, rather, I should say him. He was naked except for a pair of dark blue jeans, slumped in the open doorway to the kitchen, covered in blood, and very, very, dead.
I panicked then. I’m calmer now, so let’s take a moment to describe my conclusions that morning. I had got very drunk. I had met a guy. We’d come back to my flat. We’d been getting naked (the shoes and shirt weren’t bloodied). Then, for some reason, we’d had an argument or a fight. The body had stab wounds in the chest, and a pool of blood had congealed onto the wooden floor of the living room and the linoleum of the kitchen where the man collapsed. How did those stab wounds get there? I didn’t know for sure, but a quick glance at my kitchen counter showed that my sharp carving knife was missing. It was all coming together. I didn’t know if he had picked up the knife, or if I had; I didn’t know why either of us would do that. I didn’t even know his name, and later when I checked his pockets, I couldn’t find any ID.
There was a lot I didn’t know. But I’m smart. So once I was done crying on the floor (I think it was about two hours), I came up with a plan. This man was dead, and I couldn’t do anything about that. But what would the consequences be? There’s no need for my life to be ruined as well. I decided not to call the police. People go missing mysteriously all the time, he can just be another statistic and I’ll get on with my life.
The blood on Dave was mostly dry by now. (Sure, I didn’t know his name, but every bloke’s called Dave, right?) So I put a badly-fitting vest on him to soak up the remaining blood, and his shirt over the top, along with his shoes. His jeans were bloody, but they were dark, so hopefully it wouldn’t show up in low light. I couldn’t find his coat, which was odd given how cold it was, but this would have to do. I put my dress and heels in a plastic bag, and grabbed a spade that I never used. Had I missed anything?
The knife. The fucking knife. I searched all over for it, but by the time it got dark I still hadn’t found it. I knew I couldn’t delay for long, so I figured it was best to deal with Dave now, and find the knife later.
Eight o’clock in the evening came. I’m lucky I have parking right outside my house, no street cameras, and a ground-floor flat. I put the bag in the boot of my car and came back for the body.
Have you ever tried to move a dead person? It’s not easy, and I’m not exactly strong. I put my arm around his waist and eventually managed to heave him almost upright. “Come on Dave, that’s it. We’re gonna get you home. Maybe calm down on the tequila next time right? Try to keep it in, and don’t you dare vomit in my car, you sexy bastard.”
Oh come on, what do you want from me? I’m an influencer, not a stand-up comedian. And anyway, I don’t think anybody saw me during the several minutes it took to drag Dave to the passenger seat. I really wish I’d got round to buying a bigger car than the Fiat Punto I’d had since I was 18, but it was too late for that now.
There’s a place about an hour’s drive from me called Epping Forest. The Heritage Trust reckon it’s most famous for its huge tracts of unspoiled wildlife, thousands of trees, and Iron Age settlements. But around here it’s best known as the place where murderers and gang members bury bodies. So off I trundled in my 1.2 litre pensioner-mobile. I arrived around 9:30, checked Google Maps, and drove offroad into the woods.
Do you know how long it takes to dig a grave? The answer is: a long time! By dawn I’d only managed a hole about two feet. Oh, and it was my third try, because the first two times I found too much rock. Well, it would have to do. In went Dave, and I shovelled the ground back over him. I thought I could put my clothes in with him, but it was a shallow grave, and when the inevitable dog-walker finds it I didn’t want them linked back to me. I mean, there’s my DNA in there for sure, but let’s not make it too easy for them, right? So I chucked the spade in a river, and the clothes went back home with me, including the vest I’d lent him.
Now in England we have a thing called ANPR everywhere. The police can just type in a car registration and see exactly where it’s been from traffic cameras. I needed an alibi. Why had I gone to Epping Forest? For a hike of course! So I walked around for a few hours, got breakfast at a pub, and told the staff about all the wacky adventures I’d had that night. And while I was there, for the first time in a good long time, I checked my phone.
Hundreds of messages, of course. But only one sent a shiver down my spine.
Jolly_Gal_56234
I KNOW WHAT YOU DID
My heart thumped. My ears started ringing. I felt dizzy, nearly passed out. How could anybody know?
Of course nobody knew. I actually got messages like this fairly often. Just some idiot trying to wind people up. They’d probably sent a dozen messages just like it, to random people, and I just blocked her. Still it rattled me. I finished my breakfast, paid up, walked back to my car, and drove home.
My flat was just as I left it. Dave was gone, but his blood was still there. I scrubbed the floor for hours, and it helped a bit, but you could still see the stains. Exhausted, I showered and went to bed.
The next morning I woke up. I hadn’t posted anything for a day and a half, so I needed to do something about that. Scrolling through my messages, one stood out like a police light.
Jolly_Gal_28473
YOU’VE BEEN A BAD GIRL 🔪
Shit. SHIT! What the fuck is going on? I stared at my phone, paralysed with indecision. When I finally snapped out of it I made sure the door was locked, and tried to come up with a plan.
I had no idea who was sending these. Maybe they didn’t really know anything. You send stupid messages like that to hundreds of people, you’re gonna come across one who’s actually done something bad, right? I poured myself a big glass of gin, decided that nobody could know anything, and made a video.
Remember that one where I didn’t speak at all, just danced for three minutes dressed like 90s Britney to 70s disco music, titled “HANGOVER DANCE”? Yeah, that’s the one. I didn’t trust myself to speak without breaking, but I could dance about as well as I ever could.
The rest of the day I answered messages, emailed my sponsors, and considered getting an agent. It’s still just me doing everything, and that Sunday afternoon, I really didn’t want to. I also spent a few hours scrubbing the wooden floor with baking soda and vinegar, and looking for the knife.
I kept getting messages from Jolly_Gal. It didn’t matter how much I blocked her, she just popped up again the next day with different numbers at the end of her username. Always all-caps, just a single sentence.
YOU DON’T DESERVE IT
YOU’LL GET WHAT’S COMING TO YOU
OWN UP
DELETE YOUR ACCOUNT
Exactly one message a day, but always at different times. I decided it was a bot, and it was just coincidence that it started when it did. Until Christmas Day.
I’d been back at my parents’ for a few days, and endured the usual conversations about what I was going to do for a “proper job” after uni. They’re great, and really supportive. They’ve just never understood what an “influencer” really is, and that “playing on my phone” for six hours a day counts as work. My brother Rich gets it, but the rest of my family is honestly baffled.
Anyway, Christmas morning comes. All four of us were in the house together (my brother’s 17 so he still lives there), and we gathered together in the living room opening presents. It was a couple of weeks since the incident, and I still had nightmares every night, and those sudden panic attacks - you know, when you’re sure you’re going to be found out - but I was getting used to it. It had happened, I couldn’t change it, and I’d have to keep it secret for the rest of my life; but it was becoming a sort of background hum. I don’t know if that’s too quick, but I suppose I’ve learned to handle difficulty in my life.
Until we finished opening presents and I checked my phone.
Jolly_Gal_814385
HAPPY CHRISTMAS
And underneath, a photo of my kitchen knife, stained with blood.
I ran out of the house in tears.
Rich found me, sitting on the wooden bridge down the road from the house, my legs dangling over the river. I came here a lot when I was a teenager, so it was the first place he looked. I’d left my phone on the living room floor, and the three of them had seen the message, so he knew what triggered me. He just didn’t know the full story.
Well, I told him. I mean, not everything, obviously. But I told him how this person had been harassing me for weeks. He listened sympathetically, like he’s always done, and asked if there was anything he could do to help. I didn’t say anything; I just turned around, hugged him, and cried into his Christmas sweater.
After about half an hour we went back to the house. Rich explained things to my parents, thank goodness. I don’t think I could have handled it.
The rest of the holiday was … okay, I guess. More messages from Jolly_Gal, but only text. I made videos most days, and met all two of my old schoolfriends for drinks, movies and shopping. They’re big fans of my channels. I even took Rich out for drinks one evening, though it took us four pubs to find somewhere that wouldn’t ID him. He’s a bit of a babyface.
I did all I could not to think about Dave. I put him to the back of my mind, letting him live in the shed at the bottom of the garden of my psyche where he couldn’t disturb me. I guess that’s why it came as a shock to me, when I packed my stuff into the boot of my car to head back to uni.
There was one suitcase I’d packed but hadn’t got round to taking into the house. And peeking around the edge was that plastic bag. I’d forgotten to get rid of it!
Dad was helping me load the car, so I couldn’t do anything about it. I tucked it out of sight, finished loading up, said goodbye, and drove back to uni. It was dark when I got back, so I unpacked everything else, triple-bagged my bloody clothes, left my phone at home (no tracking me!), and walked two miles to drop them into somebody else’s wheelie bin.
The next morning I checked my messages.
Jolly_Gal_12592
WELCOME HOME
And a photo of me dumping the bag the night before.
You know what? This didn’t bother me. I mean, it did bother me, but not as much as I guess Jolly_Gal hoped. I’ve been bullied and harassed most of my life, and I’ve got pretty good at ignoring it. Sure, it was an escalation - she was actually following me - but it was just one of almost thirty messages. Jolly_Gal was hoping to destroy me. Instead, she hardened my resolve.
Clearly she had enough evidence to go to the police, but she hadn’t. And obviously she lived nearby. Now I’m no hacker, but you don’t do a job like mine without learning your way around technology. So I started sleuthing. I hadn’t bothered blocking her after the third or fourth message, so I made a list of all the messages, including timecodes. I’ve got a geology degree (almost), and we have techniques to analyse rock strata. Finally I had a genuine use for all that studying I sort of did!
Jolly_Gal was not as clever as she thought. She’d got sloppy. About half of her messages were sent at strange hours, on the hour. These were presumably posted by her bot. But the other messages were all sent between 7 and 8 am, or between 6 and 10 pm. So I guessed that she has a normal 9-5 day job, or maybe she’s a student.
Next I searched all the social media sites I could think of for Jolly_Gal or JollyGal usernames. There are a few, so please don’t go harassing people with that username! I don’t want innocent people to get hurt. After a few hours I had profiles of all Jolly_Gals. Pictures, locations, partial travel history, even birthdays for some of them. I discounted those who clearly weren’t in England, but I still had too many to narrow it down. The photos had no EXIF data so I couldn’t tell the type of phone or camera they used.
So my days became something like this: Five hours doing uni stuff, five hours working on my socials, and an hour or two learning digital sleuthing. I still went out with my friends sometimes, but made sure not to drink too much. I know how to have a good time without being drunk!
The breakthrough came by total chance. I rarely read the local papers, and just got lucky one afternoon in March. I was waiting for a friend in the pub after lectures, and there was a copy of the Post somebody had left on a table. So I flicked through it. The local council was rubbish at doing traffic. Some group of OAPS was organising a May Day celebration. And a woman had been convicted of body-snatching.
I recognised her! There was a photo of a woman in her early twenties. She’d been arrested when a corpse went missing back in December, and they’d seen her take it on the morgue’s CCTV. She’d been released on bail. “Prevention of the lawful and decent burial of a dead body” is a rare crime these days, so she hadn’t been sentenced yet; instead she was released until her sentencing, expected to be in August. Her name was Jenny Smith, which is so common as to be almost useless - that is, if you don’t have a profile of her on your laptop at home!
The report also gave her address. So I started hatching a plan. I texted my friend that I wouldn’t make it, and went home.
Jolly_Gal, or rather, Jenny, lived near me, and actually went to the same university. She had accounts on Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, Twitter, and a few others. Of course you can’t get Jolly_Gal by itself these days, but my profile gave all her precise usernames. I spent my evening watching her videos and reading her tweets. And then I found the smoking gun.
Jenny had posted a video on TikTok last June bitching about me. She’s way prettier than me, and yet I’d got all the subs and follows. She deserved all those sponsorship deals. It wasn’t fair that I had hundreds of thousands of subs and she only had a few thousand. She even said I was ugly and deserved to die.
Well, she got one out of two right, I guess. You can decide which one.
It all started to slot into place. Jenny was absurdly jealous of me, so she’d hatched a plan to destroy me. She must have roofied me in The Bar, got me and Dave back to my place, stabbed him, poured blood everywhere, and taken the knife home. I mean, I don’t know anything about forensic science, and I was drugged and panicked when I woke up that morning. I’d have no way of knowing that Dave had died days before he ended up in my flat!
I’d never managed to get all the blood out of the wooden flooring, and ended up putting a really misplaced rug over it. I chiselled off a sample and gave it to one of my friends who was doing a PhD in biology. It took a bit of persuading, but he ran an analysis on it.
It was pig’s blood.
Fuck Jenny. She’s not Jenny, or Jolly_Gal, she’s fucking Carrie!
She planned to destroy me. She ruined my mental health, she framed me for murder. All because I was more popular on TikTok than she was. Well, two can play at that game. I didn’t deserve what Jenny did to me. She did.
I thought about this all night, coming up with plan after plan, weighing them in my head. I wanted two things: to destroy Jenny, and to feel good about it for myself. Finally I had a course of action I’m actually rather proud of.
I decided to start slow. I did something anybody could have done - I mocked up a poster. At the top was “Jenny Smith - body snatcher!”. Underneath were two pictures, her Insta profile pic and the courthouse photo from the paper, and between them: “From This … To This!” And all her various social media handles to top it off. I printed hundreds of these, and pinned them all around the university and her street.
I’ve never thought of myself as an unkind person - God knows I’ve suffered enough myself to be sympathetic to others. But I’m willing to admit I felt a lot of satisfaction seeing her comments fill up with accusations and links to the online article. Jenny carried on making videos, but I could tell she was suffering. Good!
That was stage one. I had to up the ante for stage two. Jenny had covered me and my flat with pig’s blood, so I think we all know what’s coming next.
I pondered for a long time whether I should do it in the day or the night. But you know what they say - go big or go home. I scoped out her house for a while, and found out that she leaves her kitchen window, at the back of the house, open. Now I’m not the most athletic girl in the world, but I can be pretty determined when I want to be. So one night around 2 am I walked to her house - it’s only about half a mile - and climbed through the window.
I almost gave myself a heart attack when I knocked a glass over on the kitchen sink! Luckily it didn’t smash. I hid in a corner and waited for a full half hour before I decided Jenny hadn’t heard me. Then I snuck upstairs, slow as anything, and crept into her room.
Actually, the first room wasn’t hers. She shared with a couple of other students. Thank fuck I checked first! The second room was the right one. She was asleep, alone, in a double bed. I was so quiet that the only thing I could hear was my heart pounding in my chest as I opened my canvas bag, gently deposited its contents onto the pillow next to her, and took a photo. It didn’t come out that well - I couldn’t use the flash - but hey, I have a souvenir!
I really wish I’d seen her face when she woke up the next morning, staring at a pig’s head. She didn’t post on her socials for a week after that, and for two days she even forgot to send me a threatening message.
I’m sorry? You think I’m done? Oh, my sweet summer child. I’ve barely begun.
Jenny had a boyfriend, Abdul. I made sure he wasn’t around when I broke in, but stage three involved him in a big way.
Abdul was also at our university, a year younger than me, a year older than Jenny. He wasn’t very active on social media, but he did tend to broadcast his activity on Twitter. And what do you know? He’s also a fan of The Bar. So I spent the next month planning my move. I bought a new clubbing dress and heels - hey, I kinda missed that outfit! - and asked around for the other thing I needed. Some things you can’t just buy in Next, or a local butcher’s, but eventually I managed it.
I got my chance one Friday in May. Abdul had loudly announced on Twitter that he was excited for his boys’ night out in The Bar, and Jenny had been gushing about a girls’ night on the whole other side of town. Perfect. I spent hours on my makeup, and got to The Bar around ten. Abdul and his mates were having a drinking contest, and leching up at the girls dancing on the tables.
I figured I had a good long while before he would be ready, so I had a couple of drinks - not too much, but like I said I can handle myself, and I knew Jenny wasn’t around - and got up on the tables myself for a bit. Then about midnight Abdul’s friend got another round in, while Abdul was in the loo. This was my chance. I walked up to their table - which had no dancing feet on it, but a heck of a lot of spilled beer - and started talking to them, saying I thought their friend was hot.
“Uh, what the fuck?” “Not a chance in hell.” “Get lost, freak!”
Lovely chaps. But they were too far gone to notice me dropping something into Abdul’s double-whiskey-and-coke. For all I know, it’s the exact same thing Jenny used on me all those months ago.
Abdul came back and downed his whiskey in one gulp. I was worried he was going to vomit it up, but he held it in and blamed his difficulty on the coke fizz. Yeah mate, sure, sure.
Not too long after, he started to fade. His friends were really taking the piss out of him for being such a lightweight. Well, when I came over, the pisstaking just got worse. I introduced myself (with a fake name, duh) and told him he was hot. Believe it or not, it was only about twenty seconds before he put his tongue down my throat. Wow, I’m not sure I even needed to bother with the roofie!
His friends, who had been so intent on being mean to me, now turned their attention to him. I suggested we ditch them and go back to his place (I’d checked, it was only five minutes’ walk sober) - and off we went.
That was the first time I had sex. I’m sure I don’t need to go into details, but we did a lot of stuff, and I enjoyed it. I’m not sure if that’s because it was good, or because he was good, or because I knew what it was all for. I was impressed that he managed to keep going as long as he did in his state, but I do feel a bit sorry for him; from his Twitter he seems like a decent guy.
When he finally fell asleep I left. I’d got what I came for - pictures. And the next day I made a new account and sent a DM to Jenny.
At first I blurred my face, or chose shots that didn’t include it. A bit of editing and I could have been anybody. I watched their messy breakup on Twitter, Jenny hurling accusations, Abdul protesting his innocence. I know this is the age of social media, but I never understood why people play these things out in public.
And then, after posting a picture a day for a few weeks (I’d taken a lot of pictures), I sent one that showed my face clearly.
Jenny had managed to restrain herself from replying before, but now she knew who I was. She was furious! The very idea that her boyfriend had cheated on her with ME, of all people, was unbelievable. And this was exactly the outcome I’d been going for.
Jolly_Gal was broken. She’d ruined her reputation. She’d lost her boyfriend. She had nightmares about pigs (okay, so I don’t know that for certain, but in my imagination she woke up screaming every night). She was possibly going to prison. And now she knew that not only was I more successful than her as an influencer, but I was the one to steal her lover. She still sent messages, at first angry, but they soon degenerated into pleading. “Please stop.” “I’m sorry.” “We can work this out.” Jolly_Gal without CAPS LOCK, it was glorious to see.
In fact it was almost perfect. Three stages of my plan were complete, and only one remained. Jenny’s sentencing was in three weeks, so I had to move quickly.
She had two flatmates, so I needed to work around them. They weren’t particularly active on Twitter, but Jenny was. I knew from her tweets that while her flatmates had gone home, she was staying on a couple of weeks after the end of term. She didn’t say why publicly, but it was for her trial. No flatmates, no boyfriend. Now was the time.
And that brings us up to date. I’ve typed this up over the last few days, and saved as a draft. The final chapter, hopefully, comes tonight.
*******
I’m at Jenny’s house, and I’ve just called the police.
I turned up at Jenny’s door just after seven. Luck was with me - she’d tweeted that she was expecting a Deliveroo takeout. And I got there first.
The idiot actually kept the knife. I’d seen it when I was in her room. When she answered the doorbell, expecting food, and saw me - ah, the look on her face was priceless.
“I’m so sorry! Please, let’s just talk. I didn’t mean it to get this -”
I stalked towards her, anger in my face. Jenny fled upstairs. Perfect! She went into her room and shut the door, but I was like the furies of Greek legend. I smashed the door in, and looked on as Jenny cowered on her bed.
In full daylight, I saw the knife took pride of place in what looked like a shrine. She had photos of me printed out, and she’d written on them “BITCH”, “WHORE”, “FREAK” and all sorts of other hateful words.
Jenny had tried to make me into a murderer, so I gave her what she wanted. I grabbed the knife and stood over her. The coward shrank into the bed, begging for forgiveness, pleading for her life. Unfortunately for her I was not inclined to oblige. I plunged the knife into her chest, just as she had done to Dave all those many months ago. Jenny whimpered like a whipped dog, and after the ninth stab (yes, I counted), she stopped.
The police are on their way. I’m definitely going to jail after this. But Jenny got what was coming to her. We could both have lived happily, but Jenny chose otherwise.
And me? I passed my degree. I have friends. And jail or not, I have a life.
Burn in hell, Jolly_Gal.

[First] [Previous] [Next]
There’s something intimidating about doors. Or at least, I think there should be something intimidating about them. A huge slab of wood meant to keep out everyone except the select few allowed in your home… or, well, the one, flimsy defense you have against the rest of the world.

I’m stalling at this point, just standing in front of my door now that I took as long as I could washing up, getting dressed and pretending I was excited to go out again.

When did I become such an outdoorsy person? During the last month I’ve done nothing but hide from the outside world, looking for one excuse after the other to not go out. Now I think I’ve gone out once every day for the last three days, counting this one.

Am I really getting better at it?

No… I’ve just found excuses to actually go out.

Maybe that’s what stopped me before, feeling like there was no real reason to return to the real world. I am failing college, and I’ve been avoiding my friends all this time… of course, this only feels important to me. The world keeps spinning even if I choose to not participate in it. It doesn’t need me or my contribution…

Again. I am stalling.

…

But I really, really don’t want to do this.

When did I start this whole translation business? Yesterday? And now I have to go out again and risk being found out by my classmates and stuff? Being battered with uncomfortable questions? All for some stupid book that in the end might not even matter at all?

Yeah, sure, magic is real. Big shocker! I am still doubting myself about it to be honest! But how much does that really matter!? Will it change my life for the better? Or for worse? Am I really in position to make this sort of gamble?

“If you really don’t want to go out, then don’t. You can stay and take your time, it doesn’t have to be immediately.”

That’s the problem. It has to be.

This is the first time I’ve felt energetic, curious and actually motivated in a whole month, maybe even more all things considered! What if I lose this momentum? What if I run out of gas?

What if the spark in me really dies out this time?

No. I can’t risk it. I have to go.

“Then go already. Tiresome bitch.”

Alright… Alright…

I close my eyes. Take a deep breath. And after taking my notebook and my cellphone, I push the door open.

Here we go.


The bus is shaking quite a lot as it passes through a particularly bad street, and every bump in the road makes the crowd of people inside bounce around against each other. I made sure to be standing near the exit door, clinging tightly to the bar on the ceiling of this infernal machine and trying my best not to puke out of fear while feeling people pushed and pressed against me.

It was worse when I had to worry about my backpack, back when I still took this same bus to go to college. My belongings were a constant concern, considering how common it is to be robbed these days. One would think “Oh all I am carrying are books and notes, why would anyone want that?”, but trust me, there are some people out there who will take anything for the smallest chance of profit.

“Some of those people need it. Times are hard, especially under rampant capitalism.”

“And some others don’t, they just want money for drugs and such. You can’t just pity your robbers, idiot. Also, stop with the communism bit, it’s not like you actively resist living under capitalism, you slop.”

Sigh. At least right now all I gotta worry about is the cellphone in one pocket, and my notepad in the other.

I keep my eyes to myself during most of the trip, feeling way too anxious to even try to look at anyone in the bus. It’s always been a big fear of mine, what if I look at someone too meaningly and they think I am trying to start a conversation, or worse, they may think I am ogling them or something like that? I don’t want any trouble, so I just look at my feet.

At least, I try to. But then there’s the anxiety about not reaching my destination. I have to keep an eye on the windows to make sure I took the right bus (I hope to the Saints that I did) and to keep track of where in Saüle I am at all times. I want to arrive at the University City, as they call the part of the Central District with all the Colleges, but I don’t want to get out at my college at all. What if anyone recognizes me there?

Hell, what if anyone recognizes me on the bus!?

“No one pays attention to you if you don’t act like a freak. Just keep calm for once in your life, damn it.”

Right. I take another deep breath and close my eyes to try and steady myself. I just need to go to the public Library, and that’s it. Nothing more, I’ve done it before!

“It’s just been a while since you’ve taken public transportation, anyone could lose the habit if they just stop taking buses for a bit!”

Being around people has gotten harder with time, to the point where I even avoid going to the Mall! And that was even before I started flunking college…

Alright, it’s time to press the ‘Stop’ button.

“Don’t press it too much. No one likes an impatient asshole.”

I press it two times and just beg for the driver to hear the loud buzzing. I don’t want to be a bother, I swear… but sometimes I really fear he’s either too focused or too distracted to hear the button pressing.

Luckily for me, this wasn’t the case this time.When the bus stops by the Public Library, I mutter a ‘Thank you’ and quickly move through the people to escape the bus, rubbing my arms a little bit to fight the cold outside. The day is overcast, dark and cold today. Depressing, but too cold to really appreciate that.

“Alright…” I mumble to myself, steeling my determination and walking towards the old square building. My hand goes back into my pocket to start the music, something not too upbeat but, well, energetic enough to keep me going.

Now, let’s go over what I know.

My computer won’t be able to access the link I found. I really hate to admit it, but that ‘Tripolar Edge Router’ may be what I need after all, so with all the pain of my heart, I bought the damn thing. It should arrive tomorrow.

So, to avoid losing momentum and falling back into my rotting ways, I decided to do a bit of field research on the Humiko hints. After all, I still need to find this ‘Elysium’.

My best bet is going for the ‘Golden Symbol’ that could be hidden somewhere in this library. I am not sure if that means ‘Any symbol that happens to be golden’, or ‘a symbol that represents gold’. Putting ‘Golden Symbol’ on Gaggle just gave me the usual pseudo-arcane icons (like Yin Yang, a Fleur de Lis, kanji, even a tetragrammaton!) painted gold, so that wasn’t going to go anywhere.

Now, going into a deeper search, and ignoring the actual symbol for gold in the Periodic Table, I did find a few suspects that I quickly noted before coming here.

When I entered the Library though, I came to quite a considerable problem: the place is huge. It is not even close to some of the biggest libraries in the world or even in Wohl? But Saüle’s Library is a respected and well nurtured institution with plenty of shelves, sections, a second floor and even a basement.

And considering I have to look through every damn nook and cranny, every wall, every shelf? This will take a long while.

I look at my clock: it’s 10 in the morning.

“Can’t we just ask the librarian about Elysium or the symbol?”

“What are you, lazy? You insisted we come here, so now you deal with it. Unless you want to return home already.”

I am certainly tempted to abandon this altogether but… damn it, not now. If I go back home I will just lie down and probably sleep the day away, occasionally waking up to eat trash food! No. I have to keep up, keep determined!

With a deep sigh, I walk to the reception and get ready for a very, very long morning.

Maybe, with some luck, the librarian will know.


“I’ll take a number 3. No pickles, please.”

One in the afternoon, time for lunch.

I really want to stop going to burger joints and actually enjoy some real, nutritious food! But considering I used all my money on that damn router and I am saving my spare change to go back home in a taxi, I just have to settle for the cheapest alternative. It wasn’t the best for me, but it would work in a pinch.

At least I buy from a local place, instead of going for one of the big chains. It makes me feel a little better to contribute to the boycott over their terrible practices.

“Wow. Well done. Let’s hope the manager doesn’t cry over the $4500 empires you didn’t spend on them. How will they ever survive?”

Feeling my heart sink once again, I take a seat at the restaurant’s bar and dig in. The burger is not good, not by any measure, but it is big and fills you well.

… Heheheh.

“Grow up.”

I sigh, taking another bite. The search through the public library was a bust: not only did the librarian know nothing of what I asked, mentioning a symbol carved somewhere in the place only made her suspicious of me! To the point where I could feel her following me with the eyes as I combed the whole place side to side, top to bottom.

Nothing. All I could find carved or doodled in there were dicks, cocks and penises. I hate it here.

Nothing even resembling a meaningful symbol!

“But it is fine. Remember that things may be even easier if you don’t find anything.”

I take another bite and wince. Urgh, pickles…

Carefully I open my burger and, with a grimace, I pull the pickles out and set them on my plate. Perfect, now the rest of my burger will taste weird.

Blergh. Best to focus.

“If it is really that important to find the symbol, that means it has to be hidden but also, you know, findable. It wouldn’t make sense if they put something like that somewhere no one will ever see it.”

I am still not sure what that symbol may mean? I have the theory that it indicates that the librarian, or the people working at the library, are ‘in the know’ or something like that. So yeah, it wouldn’t make sense if it was too well hidden. It should be in a place where people know they have to look, probably a specific section or something like that.

Well, really, this all may really be completely unnecessary after all! Maybe there’s no Elysium in Saüle, and I can just chill at home without a worry!

“Now you’re just saying this because you know the place to look through next, aren’t you?”

Gulp.

There’s more than one Library in the City, but the rest of the libraries are protected by their respective universities. There’s at least five colleges here in Saüle, but the two biggest (and the only ones that allow entry on their libraries to non-students) are Saint Helena’s Sisterhood College… and Saüle University.

My university.

Can’t I just say I failed already and assume there’s no Elysium?

No. I can’t just leave this task half baked.

“Wouldn’t be the first time.”

Letting out a sigh, I finish my burger and stand up, slurping what’s left of my soda and then turning right on my heel.

… then I turn again, to grab my platter and throw the stuff properly in the garbage.

Then I turn right around on my heel to exit. It was best to finish this quickly, you know? Rip the band-aid off in one go, instead of just waiting.

If anyone was going to recognize me, so be it. I would just make up excuses for my absence and that’s that. I am pretty good at it.

“It comes with practice.”

I wince. Saints damn it.

The way from the burger joint over to Saüle College is not that long, I have it memorized at this point. Patricio and I used to come there all the time! After a little walk, the smaller buildings give way to the Medicine School, a beautiful white structure that serves as the front and the main entrance to the Campus.

I stop right in front of the arch that gives way into the College Grounds, in front of the College Crest carved on the floor. People say that if you step on it while entering, you will never manage to exit with your degree…

“Didn’t you shamelessly step all over it your first year, huh? You egocentric asshole?”

Another sigh. This place really fills me with dread.

There's the Main Library of the University, overseeing everything in the campus. However, there's also the Engineering, Humanities, Medicine and Law school libraries, which are also open to anyone who wants to visit (not lending books to non-students of course, but that’s enough for me).

With a frown, I am ready to start my search… when I hear a voice again.

“Hey.”

I freeze. My eyes lock on a figure standing right beside me. How long was he there!?

A young man, dark skinned like any other Wohlian, with dark hair combed in the shape of a bowl and big eyes. Patricio, looking a little upset and depressed himself. A part of me immediately worries, what’s up now? What’s with him? … But the problem is: the rest of me is panicking.

“A-Ah. Hey.” I manage to blurt out.

“... How’s it going?” He says. Clearly, he’s just saying this to start the conversation.

“Ah, you know. It’s going.” I say almost immediately, robotically.

“Of course.” He nods.

“... How are you doing? You seem a bit, uh, upset.”

Questioning it only seems to make it worse. The young man stirs in place and frowns, before saying.

“Can we talk for a moment? Or are you busy?”

Saints know I want to say I am busy, and run the fuck away. I am scared, I don’t want to have this talk! What will he say? Is he here to scold me? To tell me we aren’t friends anymore?

I don’t want to do this, I really don’t! I really, really don’t!

“... Sure. I’m not busy.”

“Good, let’s go to the Plate.”

There’s a building, deeper in the campus, that’s perfectly round and happens to hold a cafeteria. That’s ‘The Plate’.

With a nod, we both start walking without even looking at the crest we’re stepping over, uncomfortably looking at each other and then quickly away.

“...How did you do in the midterms?” I say with a worried smile.

“I’m sure I failed most of them.” He said without even blinking.

“Ah… I’m sorry.” Looking down for a moment, I clumsily try to joke around. “I guess it’s good I didn’t take them, eh? I would have failed too … hahaha… hah…”

Paticio wasn’t laughing. He wasn’t laughing in the slightest. I gulp again, deciding to shut up and just… pray.

The Plate was full, it was time for lunch after all. Long lines of people waited for their turn at the cafeteria, while others went to quickly pick one of the tables. Patricio and I go straight for a table, for none of us like the food they serve here. Yet another thing in common that made us connect.

“Such flimsy bonds you have…”

I have to physically restrain myself from grumbling. Once we are sitting, I take a deep breath and look Patricio in the eye. For five seconds. After that I just can’t keep it up, it’s way too much pressure.

“... I am sorry.” He starts with that. I blink.

“What? What for?”

“The other day, I saw you and I pretended not to. I know you noticed.”

“See? It was him.”

I can’t help but feel relieved when he apologizes for this, honestly. I don’t even care about the pressure anymore, I smile a little bit.

“Hey, it’s fine. You’re probably very mad at me…”

“Yes.”

Now that blows the air out of my lungs. I wasn’t expecting such an unequivocal answer.

“Since when does this guy have such guts!? He’s always been a coward, just like you!”

“... I am sorry.” I say, looking down at my hands.

“Don’t avoid it.” He demanded, and I can feel how he glares at me. “I don’t want your apology. Dude, you need to get your life together.”

I slowly look up again, and he continues talking.

“You haven’t come to college in a month, you only talk to us when you need the notes and even if you get them, you don’t come! And look at you! You look terrible!”

“Fatty.”

“You have bags under your eyes, your hair is all greasy… man. Tell me, what’s going on? Is this about Barbie?”

Barbie…

Shit. I totally forgot about her.

How long has it been since we broke up? Two months or so?

Well… the fact that I didn’t even remember tells me a lot about the connection between her and this whole rut.

“No, no. It’s not about her… it’s just.” I sigh, deeply. There’s so much I’d like to explain, so many thoughts, so many feelings, so many… everything! “... I don’t know.”

“You can talk to me, you know? You can tell me what’s wrong! We’re friends!”

Are we?

I wanted to ask, I really did. But no. I am not that cruel, or that much of an ingrate. He’s worried about me… I made him worry. Again.

Why does he still consider me his friend?

“... I am changing careers next semester.” He finally dropped, closing his own eyes. “I am failing this one and I feel like maybe something different will suit me better.”

just like that? Changing without even thinking much!? Can I just do that…?

“I think you should do the same.” Patricio looked me in the eye. “If you feel like you can’t make it, you have to be responsible and do something about it.”

“And admit that we have really failed? That we are as useless as people think!? Never.”

I cling to myself for a moment. I want to say that I’ll do it but… saints damn it. There’s something that stops me.

Is it pride? Do I really still have something as pathetic as pride? After all this time!?

“Have you told your parents that you are not going to the classes, man?”

I have not. I have not and I cannot.

My breathing starts picking up for a second, before I bite down my lower lip and force it to stop. No. I am not having an episode over this. I refuse!

“... Tell me what’s on your mind, dude. I… I really want to see you doing fine.” He said, offering me a smile. “Come on, open up to me.”

Well. For one, I think I have no idea about my gender anymore. I have never been comfortable with myself and these days it’s only gotten worse.

I feel inadequate, useless and completely defeated by college. I excelled in Highschool, and probably peaked there too, but now I am burnt out and broken.

I feel lonely, but at the same time I don’t feel like approaching people. I feel like a nuisance wherever I go and even now I am fighting against my instinct of running away.

I feel like I fucked up my relationship with Venus to a point of no return and I really crave the times where we were inseparable. Same with you, really.

Finally, I just discovered magic is real and our entire understanding of reality may be a complete falsehood! Isn’t that funny, Pat!?

So much I want to say, I feel like the words push against each other in my mouth. Until finally I blurt out.

“... I think I am depressed, Pat.”

“Keep going, you have something there.”

“I am depressed. And I don’t mean ‘sad’, I mean legit fucking grieving. I have no reason to be though. No one is bothering me, I am fine with how things ended with Barbie, and yet I am so fucking depressed all the time man.”

I am tempted, for a moment, to tell him about how I’ve been contemplating my window lately… but no. He’ll think I am just trying to get attention.

“He would not. He clearly cares.”

I am not risking it.

“I have so much shit in my head, I don’t know how to sort it.”

“Have you gone to a psychiatrist?”

“I am taking pills. It’s… working, at times. But still. I have a long way there… and I am not sure if I can take that long way, Pat.”

He looks at me, staring for a good moment as I am doing a great job stopping myself from breaking down into tears right here and now.

“Think about what I told you, dude. Change careers, or take time for yourself back home.”

No way.

“Just, don’t stay home all day, okay? Now you have two weeks to think of what you will do. No matter what, just. Try to get your shit back together.” He said, finally getting up. “I am still your friend. I am mad, but I am still your friend… so, tell me if stuff happens, okay? You can count on me.”

“...Thank you, man.”

He smiles again, and without another word he leaves the building. This was probably too much emotion for him to show. As for me? I am shaking, looking down at my hands. Eventually I get right back on my feet and walk out of the Plate… then out of the campus.

And then into a taxi.

I should feel happy, I should feel relieved. Why do I feel so upset!? Why am I so ungrateful!? My friend supports me and I am sad about it!? I feel guilty…

Fuck this.

I need to sleep.

This is going to be part scent Request, part scent Review of all the green/lemony scents I've tried so far....
I'm a bit of a green witch and I love having green undernotes to my perfumes. Generally, I've just been layering other scents over either For Strange Women's French Oakmoss or Pineward's Eldritch, but I would love to find some more standalone green scents. As well a some citrus scents!! I absolutely Love citrus, but scent-wise (the same with the Green scents) have been turning out smelling more like cleaning fluid or something I'd put on my dryer ball or a room spray, not necessarily use as a perfume. There are a few that have worked out, though, so I thought I'd share my reviews of those too!
_______________________________________________________________________ My rating system: 1/5 - I will never wear it and I actively don't like/hate this scent. 2/5 - It doesn't really smell like a perfume or I don't really like it 3/5 - meh, it's okay. It'll be an okay mixing agent, or someone else may like it, it's just not for me by itself 4/5 - I do like it, it's just got something small missing from making it perfect, ie: It dries down weird, or it fades fast 5/5 - I absolutely adore this scent. Any more and I want to swim in it lol
Here's what I've tried so far and how they smelled to me:
Alkemia
Moss Maiden ( Ferns, bark, lichen, crushed autumnal greens, and moss) - 2/5 - I May use this as a green layering note, but mainly I'd probably use it as a dryer ball scent or room spray. It does smell like a mossy cave...but if that mossy cave was SUPER clean lol. It's got this weird cleaning spray vibe in there
Green Witch ( oakmoss, Diviner's sage, lemon verbena, orchid, nightshade, winterhazel, rowen bark) - 2/5 - This one's got some lemon in with the green, but again, just screams 'This is laundry detergent!' to me when I smell it :/
Baccante (Blueberries, Oakmoss, wild ivy, lavender, tonka, and forest fungi) - 6/5 - I will be totally buying a full bottle of this. It's one of the first perfumes that could be a total standalone for me. It's like you're standing in a blueberry field, full of ripe fresh blueberries. I would legit rate it a 10/5 if it didn't disappear so fast on me. That may just be my skin, though.
Sucreabeille
Vodka & Swearing - (Sedona, sage, lemongrass, mojito, and juniper) 3/5 - Doesn't quite give off 'Cleaning fluid' but it does give off Very photorealistic 'Mojito'. I just sadly don't really get anything else. Just lemon mojito. Like, smelling it is akin to holding a lemon mojito up to your nose, quite literally. Not sure if I'd like to smell like that alone. If the green herbs were better in there, maybe I'd wear it...I may actually overlayer it with Green Witch and see how it does, after writing out these....
**OH MY GOODNESS OKAY I FOUND THE MIX lol...layer on For Strange Women's French Oakmoss under Alkemia's Green Witch, and top with Suc's Vodka & Swearing lol. No lie...It's a pretty great lemony Green witch scent, without being too 'Cleaner Fluid-y'. later, after the drydown, It does dry down a bit too perfumey/powdery, though, so later throughout the day, I layer on Baccante or Where the Wild things Grow (look down below), to bring in a fruity element to the mix. Unfortunately, my skin does suck those up, so I've gotta reapply like every 2 hours
haha love when that works out, though lol.... Hope that scent combo helps someone else **
Pineward
Boreal - 3/5 - (pine needles, mint, cedar, resins, moss. Frigid forest of the northern wilderness. Chilly mint gives way to a soft bed of creamy cedar, pine, and moss.)
If you like Mint, this one's for you. It is Straight Mint. The cedar pine and moss are almost non existent props to the Very strong Mint. Me personally, I was hoping for more of a Hint of mint overlaying a stronger scent of cedar and pine and moss, but the opposite was more true with this one. You do get a good underlayer of cedar on the drydown, but even in the drydown, you still get that wintery mint. It'll be a great mint additive to some of my stronger foresty scents, though! And I think, layered with Krampus it will be really nice winteyule scent. After the Drydown, you can really tell it's a softer minty version of Borealis lol. Like Boreal is the pale, shy dark woods winter witch, while Borealis is the wild and chaotic summer dark swamp witch sister
Borealis - was a 1/5, now a 3/5 - (Notes: snowdrifts, peppermint, camphor, black tea, black elder, valerian root, ocean spume, fir balsam, orris root, pine needles, incense, sandalwood, Irish ambergris, cedarmoss, patchouli, deer musk (botanic accord), ashes)
First Reaction: I REALLY did not like this one. It was a freebie given (which they were amazing to include so many freebies), but this one, to me has a very stringent vibe with an underlayer of almost urine smell( the musk, I think). I don't get very much of the pine, but it does have a black apothecary vibe to the smell. Like it's the smell of an old trappegatherer's cabin. A witch in the woods that you go to, to trade when you're desperate. If you like musk and dark foresty herbs and dirt, then this one is for you. It is STRONG on the musk, though
BUT, Okay, just fyi this is the poster child for letting a scent rest lol. I didn't much like it at first, but After a few months I tried it again and now it's going to be a great dark green witch undertone scent lol. I don't get much winter vibes, though lol. Just dark forest ones. Like it's a bit more Swamp witch then Eldritch (next down below), but it could be a sister to the "Bella Lestrange would wear me as perfume" vibe
Eldritch - 4/5 -
Notes: Leather, Myrrh, patchouli, fir, oolong tea, opoponax, smoke, pine needles, oakmoss.
Lair of ancient eldritch abominations, a resinous and dark perfume for the bold and unafraid. Fall 2023 Version: additional tea & moss
This was a Curiosity's sake purchase when I saw this on a list of 'If you want to smell like a witch' suggestions (very accurate just fyi). First on my skin I definitely get the sharp leather notes and I think the myrrh. It is definitely a challenging scent and more of a unisex or masculine scent, but me as a witchy woman, I love it as a green undertone. I think I'm totally getting the Opoponax (resin that smells like oak honey powder and leather), the smoke and the fir. First out of the gate I feel like it makes me smell like a dark and mysterious apothecary witch, with her shop at a dock in the middle of a dark swampy bayou. And I think I do really like the addition of tea and moss into the scent, otherwise, I think it'd be more of a straight, almost pirate-y, unisex/masc scent
First dry down it softens beautifully, so if you think it's too strong and overpowering at first, don't worry. It'll mellow
Long dry down, it does get a bit musty and stale herbally after a bit. But it is Just perfect if you want a remnant scent of 'I just walked through a witchy herbal shop in the Bayou' vibe
Just keep in mind, right out the bottle, it is a very challenging scent. Make sure to let it rest a bit, and then try it on your skin, too, before judging.
*note: if you're not an herbally/witchy woman, this may be more of a masculine scent pull. I could totally see giving this scent to a guy friend/family member, if you get it and it's not for you. For me personally, though, I love it as my witchy base layer under something super fruity (like SF&F's Lilac & Gooseberries), to give me the perfect fruity complex green witchy scent.
White Fir 5/5 - Notes of orange, ginger, white fir, clove, anise, pine, musk, vetiver, oakmoss
The PERFECT wintery citrus scent. The only more perfect addition would be to layer it with a patchouli or more of a 'dark forest' scent, to give it a bit more depth and less 'Winter Cleaning day' vibe
Clemenpine -2/5 - (Notes Clementine, Blood Orange, Maritime Pine, Night-Blooming Jasmine, Saffron Flower, Rough Suede, Passion Fruit, White Lotus, Fir Balsam, Tobacco Leaf, Cedar Planks, Leather, Sandalwood, Pacific Ambergris)
I really wish I had had the chance to let this one settle for a few months like the others (pineward really needs some settle time to fully bloom, just fyi), but sadly it got dropped onto my cement floor and shattered, so I only had my first impressions of it, which was that it smelled like PURE cleaning fluid. I'm talking orange Pine-sol :/ . Which really sucks, cause I love orange and citrusy scents and was very hopeful for this one. Eventually I may get another sample of it, to try again, but I was really disappointed in it.
Meadowmoss 2/5
Notes: Oakmoss, Alpine Sandwort, Wild grass, Green Wheat, Orange Blossom, Fir Balsam, Tomato Leaf, Azure Bluet, Mountain Wildflowers.
This one is one of those scents I wouldn't actually wear. BUT, one I may use on like my dryer balls or as a room spray on furniture in spring. It really is like you're standing out in an open field in the Swiss alps singing the Hills are Alive next to a wayward nun. If that's what you'd like to smell like? This one is for you! Not really for wearing on me, though. It smells like a dryer sheet.
Ivymoss 3/5
Notes: Climbing Ivy, Green Tea, Spearmint, Lime Rind, Lemon Verbena, Waterlily, Emerald Cypress, Mugo Pine, Cedarwood, Oakmoss, Treemoss, Cedarmoss.
This is one that DEFINITELY needs rest. At first it was purely going to be another dryer ball scent. But after Months of letting it rest (like legit half a year), I actually think I like the scent enough to maybe wear it! (at least as an undertone, if not as a standalone). It's a very Bright Green scent. Fresh, without smelling overtly like cleaning fluid or laundry detergent. But, it does give that hint. Like Irish Soap almost. It's truly like walking through a forest in very early spring, with the air still crisp, but new plants starting to grow....and you're wearing freshly laundered clothes lol
It's not one I would wear a Lot, I don't think....but maybe in early spring with a apple-y scent. Or maybe as an undertone layer with something like a sweet honeysuckle scent

Greymist 5/5
Notes: Noble Fir, Scotch Pine, Expressed Citron, Blond Tobacco, Botanical Musk, Vetiver.
Another one that Really needs to rest, before you try, cause I'm pretty sure it was on the list of scents I REALLY don't like, when I first scented these. But now months after, this one's gonna be one of my favorite winter scents, I think. It legit smells like Christmas time. The fir and pine Really stands out, and you get that little bit of tobacco in there too, almost like you're hugging Santa and he smokes a pipe lol. Quite honestly, it may actually be a standalone scent for me, for winter time
Acadian 3.5/5
Notes: Sweet Yuzu, Bergamot, Juniper Berry, Ivy, Eucalyptus, Waterlily, Goldenrod, Heliotrope, Seaweed, Cedar, Oakmoss
This scent reminds me of trips to the Lost sea or Rock city. Smelling the damp mossy forests and wet mountain stone. That smell of caves found along hikes in damp foggy weather. I can't really pick out any of the individual notes at all, which is sad, cause I do like a lot of those individual scents. But, it is a really nice combination into a unisex/masculine scent. All of Pineward, so far has leaned more to the Unisex/masc cologne side of things. But, this one I do like to pair with something like Lorelei from Fantome, which is a strawberry over seawater and seaweed scent
A little goes a Very long way. It's got a very long throw. I like pairing a DOT of it with one of my sweeter fruity or floral scents. If I use too much, it does dry down a bit powdery and strong and gives me a headache, which is why I put it at 3.5 instead of 4/5
Akero 4/5
Notes: green apple, benzoin, patchouli, sandalwood, cedar.
The first bit of a freshly picked green apple. When I smell this, it transports me to a green apple orchard, with the apples just getting ripe. It's definitely got a Green earthy undertone, but the bright apple evens it out a bunch. I really love this, even alone, or layered with a sweeter fruit scent, like Kinmousekai from fantome. I do wish the Cedasandalwood stood out a bit more, though. I may have to try putting a drop of this onto an actual cedar chip. See how it smells
Ollie & Max
Spring Witch 2/5 Notes: an enchanting blend of rosewater, jasmine and lily top notes, middle notes of clover and greenery, finishing with citrus and herbs
This one is another dryer ball scent for me, unfortunately. A really nice dryer scent, though! Perfect for springtime. I just more expect this scent with detergent, not a perfume
Sorcellerie Apothecary
Where the Wild Things Grow 3/5 1: the Sweet version.
Notes: Late spring strawberries still on the vine and vanilla cream soda slowly fade to strawberry blossoms, fresh green grass with morning dew, and ambrette seed.
I do like this, but not on its own. It's got a bit of a chemically tone in there (from the 'cream soda' I think). It does give fizzy strawberry drink, vibe, though. I like layering it over Fantome's Lorelei and FSW's French Oakmoss for a strawberry witch vibe
II: The fruity green version. Notes:
Late spring strawberries still on the vine and vanilla cream soda slowly fade to strawberry blossoms, fresh green grass with morning dew, and ambrette seed.
I do like this one, but it's a bit Too much artificial candy and green grass for me, if that makes sense. It reminds me of sucking on a strawberry candy as a kid, running around in the fresh cut grass. I do like it, I just have to layer it with Lorelei and other green/fruity notes, otherwise it gives me a headache
Fantome
Lorelei - 4/5
Notes: Tart wild strawberries, basil, black narcissus, entangling seaweed, watery graves
It starts off with a punch of fruity strawberry, but has bottom notes of salty seaweed and sweet basil. And I absolutely love it when basil finds its way into perfumes. I absolutely love that scent. I just wish there was More basil and other herbs, maybe
I do love this scent, but not on its own. I love it as a mid level mixing layer, though. Usually I'll layer it above something like Eldritch or Acadian or French Oakmoss (see all three above), and then top off with one or both of the Where the Wild Things Are scents (also look above), for a more full bodied Strawberry Witch vibe scent.
____________________________________________________________________________ TL;DR:
So, essentially, I've had some hits and some misses. I love Fruity scents and I want green witch/kitchen witch herbal vibes with my scents. I like gourmands. I sometimes like florals (just more on the fruity floral side, not the powdery floral side). I HATE with a passion powdery scents and scents that go cleanedetergent vibes.
Can ya'll help with some recommendations for any lemon or orange citrusy perfumes that don't go 'cleaner fluid or detergent' vibes? And/or any herbal or Green scents that I may like?
Please & Thank you!!

Ever since I turned 39 it feels like my body has been breaking down on me. I got in shape in my mid-twenties and have lived a pretty healthy lifestyle. But after my birthday back in January I’ve had some changes happen. One of the more annoying changes is what I believe to be LPR or “silent reflux”. I don’t have heart burn or anything it just feels like a constant bubbling in my throat. If I had to compare it to something it would be how your throat feels when you’re trying to choke back tears. Which could have something to do with it. We lost our cat a little over a year ago and I’ve been crying more days than not. So I don’t know if that has anything to do with it. Saw the doctor and she said the typical doctor thing, “sounds like acid reflux so take these pills.” I always hated taking pills. Aside from avoiding caffeine, alcohol, and spicy foods are there any other ways I can get rid of this? I’ve tried gargling pH balanced water with a little baking soda. That doesn’t have a very long lasting effect.

Memory transcription subject: Zeel, Security Chief of the Red Sands District.
Date [Standardized human time]: June 3 2138
“This can’t be real right?” I hear from over my shoulder. “I mean, it’s got to be, what’s that phrase, click-bait?” I turn around to the young gojid intern watching the holo-screen over my shoulder. I flick my tail with a firm yes. “It has to be, other wise we need to start a murder investigation.” I blink, briefly reflecting that just a year ago I would have said predator attack without one thought that a fellow sapient could be responsible for a back alley stabbing. “B-but that blurred orange blob on the picture!” She replies, spins bristling. “Also fake.” I reassure my assistant. “Don’t worry Bavik. I watched their other videos. It’s just eye catching headlines and dumb kids looking for fame.” I sigh and turn back to the holo-screen watching the counter tick down. “I-I-I guess.” She replies, no less pointy than before. “I mean, a human actually e-e-ea… ingesting a sapient. That’s crazy right?” I can’t help but scoff, the only reason we had to waist our time on this nonsense ‘investigation’ was because of all the concerned phone calls demanding flame throwers and kicked down doors. Not that anyone even knew where on Skalga they actually where.
“What’s crazy is my pup refusing dinner because it smells funny. It did not!” It was Bavik’s turn to scoff. “And how would you know?” She asks, spines lowering as the mood relaxes. “Cheap! Shot!” I retort, holding back an amused bleat. “Look!” she blurts, pointing a claw at the screen.
[Live stream starting: 3… 2… 1…]

The view window opens on a blue painted wall. Scuffling sounds can be heard as the view wobbles and zooms out to reveal a plain wooden table with a metal dome covering a plate while a napkin, fork, knife and microphone sit off to the side.
“Are we rolling?” “Yeah we’re good. Connects a little slow with the anti-location finder but it’s going through.” “How many viewers?” “Uhhhh, three thousand, five hundred and counting.” “Really!??!! That’s great” “Some of these have got to be exterminators ‘Bonnie’ This isn’t a goo-“ “Oh hush, it’ll be fine. Come on! Sit!”
Coming into view from the left, a human of average height, red hair, and portly build wearing a simple beige hoodie, a baseball cap and aviator style sunglasses across his eyes took a seat behind the table. “Alright, introduce yourself!” The human sighs and gives his head a small shake. “Hi, people of the internet. My name is ‘Clyde’.”
He puts up his hands and makes air quotes while saying his name. Shortly after, a foggy grey furred venlil wearing a decoratively torn pink colored jean-jacket with her mop of head fur styled into a mohawk featuring yellow dyed tips while each ear had several clip-on earrings attached. “And I’m ‘Bonnie’!” she says excitedly, repeating the finger gesture while hopping into frame from the right and tossing an arm around the sitting human. “We’re exchange partners, best friends and partners in crime!” Her tail was swishing rapidly, signing happy, excited, good things and watch close in a blur that made things hard to read.
“Tell our viewers what we’re streaming today!” She bleats, jostling ‘Clyde’ who seemed to be trying not to show a toothy grin at his partners enthusiasm.
“Alright, alright. From the duo that brought you First Ever Venlil Skateboarding.” ‘Bonnie’ holds up her other arm, proudly showing off a wrist cast covered in signatures and doodles. “And Drunk Friend Mystery Tattoo” ‘Clyde’ rolls up his right sleeve, showing off what appeared to be either the side profile of a deformed horse or a very unfortunate dossur. ‘Clyde’ tugs down his sleeve and nervously taps his finger on the table. “What’s in store for our audience today ‘Bonnie’?” The venlil girl nearly bounces with glee and grabs the top of the silver metal dome. “Ven-Steak Dinner!” She yanks off the dome. A puff of hot steam clears away to reveal a slab of freshly seared meat with a sprig of parsley on top. “Ugh why is it purple!?” ‘Clyde’ blurts, jumping at the sight before him. “I don’t know, it cooked up that way. The stuff you eat turns brown.” ‘Bonnie’ says with a shrug while tucking a napkin into ‘Clyde’s’ collar.
“C’mon stick to the script.” She whispers taking a seat of her own. “So, ‘Clyde’, why are you eating genuine venlil meat today?” “Because you’re crazy?” ‘Bonnie’ giggles, swats him with her tail and continues, answering her own question.
“Because we are going to prove once and for all that humans are not ravenous beasts and can control their instincts around us poor meek venlil.” ‘Clyde’ rolls his eyes under the sunglasses.
“And that we don’t even have instincts like that. Really, it’s getting kinda racist.” He looks down at the cooked meal before him, lips curling slightly.
“Now, before anyone runs for the exterminator hotline, well those of you that haven’t fainted or run for cover yet, this is actually-“ “ME!!!” ‘Bonnie’ Jumps into her exchange partners lap, arms spreading to present herself. “Yes, you heard it right! That’s me on that plate. Believe it or not viewers, I borrowed a synthesizer from one of the labs that bought freedom for so many. Took my own cell culture and grew my friend here a lovely meal of grade A, free range, yours truly.” ‘Bonnie’ hops down, tail swishing excitedly and fur ruffled with glee. “So, since this is one hundred percent consensual, technically not illegal and ethically sourced, none of you FED loving traditionalists have any right to freak out!” She wags her finger at the camera, a human gesture she had picked up along with the late 2070’s neo-pop skater fashion sense.
“And much to my regret, I owe this, possibly one legit case of predator disease in the entire galaxy, a huge favor.” ‘Clyde’ chimes in while adjusting the napkin in his shirt, before pausing with a confused look on his half-hidden face. “…wait, I thought the tattoo made us ev-“ “Shh, it’s on.” She interrupts, gesturing at the camera with her tail. “All right good citizens of Skalga, you will now bear witness to history’s first documented expert taste test of ven-meat!” ‘Bonnie’ passes the fork to ‘Clyde’ and sits in her chair, practically vibrating with excitement and bearing a slight bloom across her face.
‘Clyde’ takes the utensils and starts to cut off a piece, his expression going worried and the sawing motion of the knife slowing to a stop half through the cut. “It looks like petrol in puddle.” He says with puzzlement. “What do you mean?” “The juice that’s coming out, it’s all shiny and metallic. What did you cook this in?”
“Nothing! Just the auto chef and some vegetable oil like you suggested, didn’t even salt it.” “Yenv- ‘Bonnie’ I don’t think I should eat this.”
“Oh come on, we went through all this effort! Don’t you wanna beat the products for predator channel? They did a fake heart and got over half a million subscribers, the real thing will bury that! Maybe even get us a sponsor!”
‘Clyde’ laughs and nods. “Alright alright.” He finishes cutting through the piece and brings it up to his mouth. The human pauses and sniffs at the shimmering purple seared, orange centered meat, wrinkles his nose and jerks back. “Well, uhm, it has a distinct grease trap aroma, with a hint of, ugh, paint thinner?.” “Is that… good?” She asks, having no context for smells “…No. ‘Bonnie’ I’m not sure this is safe.”
“Oh don’t be such a pup. It’s not like I’m serving you a flying machine.” She replies, playfully jostling her friend.
“That nutjob just wanted attention.” ‘Clyde’ replies defensively. “So do we! Go on, eat me!”
With a grimace, the human puts the piece in his mouth, chews once and immediately groans. “Well? Don’t leave us all in suspense. Are we really the most delicious thing in the galaxy? Are you ravenous for more? Perhaps something fresher? Am I *gasp* in danger?” She says, phoning in a fake fearfulness for the camera. ‘Clyde’, shivers, chews again, and forces himself to swallow. He coughs, pulls a water bottle from under the table to swish and spit into a garbage can beside him. “God, that is the foulest, gamiest thing I ever put in my mouth! UGH!!!” He pushes the plate away and wipes his tongue on the napkin. ‘Bonnie’ leans back in her chair, tail flicking curiosity and the bloom fading. “Really? But.. the arxur keep calling us delicacy.” She glances at the lab grown bit of herself still steaming on the plate. “Arxur don’t know [censored], meat shouldn’t be sour!” He exclaims, hacking a wad of foamy spit into the can again. “Jeeze, you need to lay off the junk food! It’s like you’re pickling yourself.” he scolds, more foamy spittle dribbling down his lips before he can spit again. ‘Bonnie’ whistles and purrs with amusement, offering the sprig of parsley. ‘Clyde’ flicks it away much to her delight. “Well, there you have it viewers, humans don’t even think we taste good. Guess we had nothing to fea-“
‘Clyde’ suddenly gags and claps a hand over his mouth hard. ‘Bonnie’ gasps, her joyful tail wagging coming to a halt as her humans expression turned pale and distraught. “I’m gunna…” ‘Clyde’ suddenly stands, tossing the chair he was sitting in as he bolted out of frame. “PHILLIP?!!” ‘Bonnie’ shouts as she too leaves the room. The camera view suddenly twisting and hurtling towards the floor where it blacks out.

Stream disconnected, standby…
[Memory transcript interrupted, warning, high stress and blood pressure levels detected. Resuming, time elapsed, two hours]
The window suddenly reconnects, showing ‘Clyde’ sitting at the table, cradling the garbage can in his lap, the plate and its contents gone from the room. His face was pasty, sweaty, his sunglasses askew and hat tossed next to the microphone.
“By the great protector!” ‘Bonnie’ bleats from off screen. ‘Clyde’ makes an “Uhh?” in response just before hiccupping and bringing his head over the can. ‘Bonnie’ comes into frame, tail signing reassurances to the camera. ‘Clyde’ relaxes and leans back again, looking rather unhappy. “Well, good news ALL TWO HUNDRED THOUSAND VIEWERS!!! ‘Clyde’ here is totally fine and making a steady recovery.” To which the human gave a shaky thumbs up. “Even better news!” ‘Bonnie’ whistles, tail signaling to fast to read. “Our predator friends CAN’T eat us!” She sidles over to her human and puts a reassuring arm across his slumped shoulders. ‘Clyde’ nods and sits up a little. “So apparently,” he begins after taking a breath, “The chemicals that venlil bodies use to metabolize air and exhale waste gas, the stuff that makes your blood orange like iron makes ours red, is moderately toxic to human biology.” Winded by the explanation, ‘Clyde’ slouches again and sips from the water bottle. “Yeppers! The [no translation available in English] reacts with human stomach acid like vinegar and baking soda, hence the foaming.” There is a brief pause, ‘Bonnie’ glancing at her human and giving a light tail tap to his leg. “Yes, it also causes nausea, vomiting, disorientation, indigestion and a lingering sour taste.” “And yet the arxur have no tummy trouble with any aliens. Why do you think that is ‘Clyde’?” ‘Bonnie’ prompts, her fur puffing excitedly again. “Uhh, if they are anything like monitors and alligators, then the Arxur must have poor taste buds and much tougher stomachs that can probably digest a truck tire. Human in cont ‘hic’ rast have been cooking for almost a million years. It’s far safer bacteria and parasite wise, more efficient for absorbing nutrients and *belch* excuse me.”
“Yes.” ‘Bonnie’ says, taking over the rehearsed lines “And as such they have at an evolutionary level, lost the ability to handle tougher foods like raw meat, bones, roots, bark and anything even slightly expired. So, even against us prey species with our multichambered stomachs and fermenting guts, our hominid friends have comparatively sensitive tummies.” She pats his belly, to which he briefly aims at the can again. ‘Bonnie’ twitches her ears in a concerned way before turning back to the camera.
“So, there you have it Skalgans! We had nothing to fear this whole time. All the running, hiding, mask mandates, exterminator rallies and stressing out was totally pointless. Because…” She drum rolls her paws on the table in dramatic fashion “We’re basically toxic!” “Or there’s something seriously wrong with this one.” ‘Clyde’ chimes in, smiling and giving a slight chuckle at her paw swat retort. “Hey, this means I can get drunk and tattoo you now, right?” “No it does not!” “Course I’ll have to shave you first.” “Ahh, that is not happening!” ‘Bonnie’ blurts, the bloom returning to her face. “Let’s have chat decide. How about it? Follow the link below and donate say… twenty thousand credits to the Thafki rehoming fund and you’ll get to see me ink a naughty word on ‘Bonnie’s’ shaved butt.” ‘Clyde says with a grin, his color starting to come back. Blooming brightly, the venlil growls and whacks the laughing humans arm with her cast and turns toward the camera. “Alright” She says, picking up a remote. “That’s it for the stream, next week we’ll continue our series of vintage Earth TV with… uhh…” “Jackass.” ‘Clyde’ prompts. “Right, we’re going to react to a twentieth century human comedy stunt variety show. It’s all public domain so you can watch live with us. No charge and none of those pesky U.N. restrictions!”
Bonnie and Clyde wave to the audience as the colorful venlil points the remote.
[Stream ended. Have a great paw, friends!]
I put down the holo-pad and rub my bloodshot eyes. What we just watched had my fur puffed, the phones ringing off the hook across several districts and my staff either clamoring to unlock the confiscated exterminator gear, fainted, frozen with dread or chatting rapidly over the outcome of the kids insane experiment. Amazingly, no stampedes where being reported, but the press was still going to have a field day.
After a shaky breath I spin the chair around to face my assistant.
We stare at each other. After a long minute, the bristling gojid quietly says. “Maybe I’m toxic too.” I blink slowly and reply “What’s stunt comedy?” Bavik flicks his ears in ignorance. “We could subscribe and find out?” Turning back to the holo pad, staring at the screen for a moment, I tap the button. Sending the counter up by one. Then throw a few credits at the donation fund. “Crazy kids.” I say with an amused tail flick.

Hii! Ever since I started my weigh loss journey a few months ago I have had my ups and downs. More downs than ups really. Lately I have found a good balance on my diet, and it’s been going really well. My cravings has been minimal and I haven’t had any difficulty lately. But suddenly I am having these intense cravings. I am full so I don’t want to heat something, like my body, mind and stomach does not want to eat more food, but my mouth does. Its a weird feeling and I don’t know how else to describe it. I feel like I wanna eat all the chocolate and delicious baked goods you could ever find, but my stomach is screaming at me to not eat anything more.
Anyone have had a similar experience? Anyone have any tips til how I solve this? I am now drinking sugar free soda/juice, but so far that’s not doing much for me. I have had cravings before, but then I didn’t have the self control I have now, or paid attention to what my body is telling me. So this feeling is very new to me and I don’t know how to tackle it.
That’s all I wanted to ask really, so the rest of this is just words to fill the posts. Apparently these post has to be a certain length, but I don’t know what more to add to this post. First time posting here. Guess I’m just filling this post in with words to get it to post, so this part is really not relevant 😅
Apparently the post has to be really long so let’s try again. I don’t know why I have to post my stats here, because I’m not really comfortable doing that, so I will just say random numbers to see if that helps: I’m 156 cm tall, 90kg and female, 28 years old.

There are so many delicious foods to eat on Thanksgiving, and it can be hard to narrow it down to just one or two favorites!
If you’re a Thanksgiving newbie, check out this list of Thanksgiving foods that start with L and introduce your taste buds to all of the scrumptiousness that awaits you!
Whether you plan on eating them in a traditional Thanksgiving dinner or as part of your own personal feast, try these tasty treats on your holiday table!
If you’re wondering what to serve at your Thanksgiving feast this year, consider the following list of Thanksgiving foods that start with L.
Listed below, these healthy dishes are delicious and nutritious ways to give thanks this holiday season.

1. Lobster

The holiday season means that it is time to celebrate, relax, and enjoy the company of family and friends. What better way to celebrate than with a scrumptious feast?
If you are searching for a mouth-watering dish to serve for your feast this year, look no further than lobster!
Lobster is a traditional dish served on holidays such as Thanksgiving and Christmas. However, its popularity has also made it an appetizer that can be served any day of the year.
Lobsters are available fresh or canned at most grocery stores or seafood markets. There are so many different ways to prepare lobster that it is hard not to find one that would suit your needs perfectly!

2. Linguine

Linguine is a type of pasta that is shaped like long, flat noodles. It can be served with various sauces or toppings, and it's a popular dish for the holiday season.
Served with butter, garlic, and olive oil, this dish is similar to clam sauce but has a more subtle flavor. Linguine can be served on its own as an appetizer or as part of a larger meal.
Cook linguine according to package directions. Drain and set aside in a serving bowl, reserving a cup of the cooking water in a small bowl.
Melt butter in a large frying pan over medium-high heat until foaming subsides; add garlic and cook, occasionally stirring, until fragrant but not browned (about 30 seconds), about 2 minutes.

3. Lima beans

Some people may not know that lima beans are traditional Thanksgiving foods that start with L. It's true! Lima beans (aka butter beans) are easy to make and taste delicious, especially when paired with ham. They're also high in protein, making a great side dish for vegetarians.

4. Lionfish

Thanksgiving is just around the corner, and if you're looking for some new, exciting Thanksgiving foods that start with L to put on the table.
There are lots of options. One example would be lionfish. This delicious fish can be prepared in various ways and makes for a tasty alternative to turkey or ham.
It's easy to find at most grocery stores, so all you need to do is pick up your ingredients, get cooking and enjoy!

5. Lychees

Let's talk about lychees. This delicious fruit is often a staple in Asian dishes, but it has also become more popular in Western cooking.
It looks like a little yellow grape with a tough outer shell that needs to be peeled away before you can eat the flesh inside. A great way to start your day!

6. Lamb

A rich and savory dish that pairs well with all of your favorite fall vegetables. Lamb is one of the most popular thanksgiving foods that start with L, but it's common to serve lamb.
Lamb is healthier than ham because it contains less fat and cholesterol than other meats. Plus, it also tastes delicious with cranberries and mashed potatoes!

7. Lasagna

This dish is perfect for feeding a crowd and can be made in advance to save you time on the day of the feast for Thanksgiving foods that start with L.

8. Latkes

Crispy and delicious, these potato pancakes are a delightful side dish to any meal. The latke is a dish that is traditionally served during Hanukkah but can be served at any time of year.
Latkes are typically made from grated potatoes mixed with eggs, salt and onions. The mixture is then pan-fried in oil. A typical garnish for a latke might include sour cream or applesauce.

9. Lemonade

It's not a holiday without the traditional pumpkin pie, but some other Thanksgiving foods start with L to consider.
Which is Lemonade, Refreshing and comforting. However, Lemonade is a staple for many people during the warmer months.
Nevertheless, it's also an excellent drink to enjoy on cold winter days. Whether you enjoy lemonade with a little bit of vodka in it or prefer iced tea with a generous helping of freshly squeezed juice, this beverage can be enjoyed all year long.
Besides being delicious, lemonade offers some health benefits, such as aiding digestion and providing Vitamin C.
This tangy beverage should be at the top of your list when you're looking for something new to try this Thanksgiving holiday!

10. Loin

The loin is a meat cut that comes from a pig's back and lower part. It's usually roasted, grilled, or smoked. In French, it's called filet, which means a thin strip.
The loin lies between the backbone and ribs, as well as in front of the sirloin and behind the tenderloin. Another term for a loin is pork chop.
Pork chops are often eaten fried or grilled with bacon. They can be served with applesauce or caramelized applesauce.
When buying pork chops, it's important to look at them closely to ensure they're not too dried out or stringy.

11. Lynchburg Lemonade

• Ingredients include
• Sweet Tea
• Triple Sec
• Fresh Lemon Juice (tablespoons) Instructions: Mix all ingredients together until well combined. Serve cold over ice cubes and garnish with a lemon slice!

12. Leek

A leek is a type of onion with a milder flavor than other onions. Leeks are used in soups and stews and as an ingredient in making curry sauce, and they will surely serve you perfectly for your Thanksgiving foods that start with L. They also work well with potatoes, spinach, and cream.
Slice off the root end of the leek, cutting up to one inch away from where it starts to flare out into green leaves.
Rinse thoroughly under cold water or soak in boiling water for a few minutes until it is softened but not colored. Trim off any tough parts from the green leaves near the white part, then slice them thinly crosswise.

13. Lahana Sarmasi

Start by chopping onion and green pepper into small pieces. Please place them in a medium-sized pot with vegetable oil, then add tomato paste and salt to taste.
Add water to cover the vegetables, bring the pot to a boil, then reduce the heat and simmer for 20 minutes.
After cooking time is up, remove the pot from the stovetop and stir in sugar (to taste) before leaving it to cool for 30 minutes.
When cooled down, mix in raisins, almonds, and pine nuts before adding rice; ensure the rice is well mixed before returning it to the pot.

14. Lovage

Lovage is an herb that tastes like celery, with a flavor similar to parsley but more intense and more like celery. It's often used in French cooking.
The leaves can be eaten raw in salads or cooked as a side dish (often boiled, braised, or sautéed). The seeds can be roasted, ground into a powder, and mixed with water to make a refreshing drink of Thanksgiving foods that start with L.

15. Liqueur

The liqueur is often used to signify a special drink enjoyed on holidays and other occasions that you want to fill your tables with Thanksgiving foods that start with L.
However, Liqueurs are typically sweet and are often made from fruits, nuts, herbs, or spices. One of the most popular liqueurs is Amaretto, made from apricot kernels.

16. Latte

I love a good latte! I like to start my day with one in the morning or have one with an afternoon snack and then end it with a cup of hot cocoa after dinner. Lattes can be enjoyed any time of day.
I love that lattes are easy to make at home. All you need is some whole milk, a teaspoon of espresso, a tablespoon of hot water, and some sweetener if you want it.
Nevertheless, You can make them as strong or as weak as you want by adjusting how much water you add too.
I also like that latte's come in different flavors and combinations, so there is always something new to try when you want your occasion to be special with Thanksgiving foods that start with L.

17. Lakoocha

Lakoocha is a traditional Russian dessert made of dough, oil, and honey;

18. Limeade

The tangy limeade is a refreshing drink for hot summer days. All you need to do is squeeze some fresh lime juice into a glass of water and add sugar if desired.
Also, a few ice cubes will help keep it cold while you sip on this delicious drink. If you want to make iced limeade, place all ingredients in a pitcher and stir until the sugar has dissolved. Pour over ice and enjoy!

19. Lavash

Lavash is thin, unleavened loaves of bread that are usually baked in a large clay oven called a tandoor. They can be used as Thanksgiving foods that start with L for serving guests.
The word lavash is derived from an Armenian word that means bread. Like many other cultures, Armenians wrap their traditional dishes in lavash before serving them to guests.
Their cuisine often includes dishes like kebabs or kabobs wrapped up in lavash before being eaten.

20. Lumpia

The Filipino dish, Lumpia, is one of the Thanksgiving foods that start with L, an egg roll with a savory filling wrapped in a thin wrapper and deep fried to create a crispy exterior.
Lumpia is usually served as an appetizer or as part of the main meal. The word lumpia means spring roll in Tagalog, reflecting that this dish has been around since ancient times in Southeast Asia.
L lumpia is typically made with ground pork, carrots, onion, garlic, and chili peppers in Filipino cuisine.
The mixture is then rolled up into flour wrappers that have been cut into strips before being dipped into hot oil to fry them until golden brown. This cooking method makes for a crispy outside with a moist inside and flavorful filling.

21. Lollipop

The lollipop is one of the most iconic sweet treats in America. In fact, more than 100 billion lollipops are made each year in the United States.
However, did you know that this confection has been around since at least as early as 1796? Believe it or not, Thomas Adams is credited with being the first person to put a stick into a ball of candy!
In addition to being a popular treat for people of all ages and backgrounds, lollipops also make great props for wedding photos and party favors for birthday celebrations. Plus, they're perfect for stocking stuffers too!

22. Lingcod

The lingcod is a type of fish that lives in cold water. It has a light, delicate, and meaty texture. There are many different ways to prepare this as one of the Thanksgiving foods that start with L, and it can be used in soups or stews as well as baked on its own.
The skin should be removed before cooking because it can become tough after cooking. The lingcod can also be grilled or pan-fried with butter and herbs, which will help keep the meat from drying out.
The best way to cook this fish is by baking it at 350 degrees Fahrenheit for about 15 minutes per inch of thickness (when measured at the thickest part). This ensures that the flesh is moist and tender without being dry or overcooked.

23. Littleneck

A littleneck is a type of clam found in the Atlantic Ocean and used as one of the common and popular thanksgiving foods that start with L. The name comes from its small size, which is about half that of a cherrystone clam.
This small bivalve mollusk has a hard and shiny exterior shell. Littleneck is often eaten steamed or raw as sushi, but they can also be used to make clam chowder or pasta dishes.

24. Limburger

This cheese is perfect for those who love a strong flavor. It's tangy, salty, and slightly pungent. This cheese has been aged for at least six months to help develop its complex flavor profile.

25. Lard

Lard is an animal fat that can be rendered to make cooking oil and soap. Lard has a higher melting point than butter, so it’s also often used in frying food.
Lard is also often used in desserts, such as pies and biscuits because it makes them flaky and crispy. If you’re vegetarian or vegan, lard can be replaced with vegetable shortening.
But it’s important to read the labels of any replacement product before using it because some contain hydrogenated oils, which are high in saturated fats and low in trans-fats.
For healthier alternatives to lard, try coconut oil or margarine made from plant-based fats such as soybean or sunflower oil instead!

26. Loaf

Many different types of Thanksgiving foods start with L, including quick-bread loaves, yeast-bread loaves, and sweet-bread loaves.
It's possible to find traditional versions or versions with nuts or raisins for some added texture or sweetness.
Bread can also be shaped into a round shape instead of a loaf. This is called a bâtard or boule. The word loaf comes from the Old English word hlāf, meaning bread.

27. Liverwurst

This German specialty is made with a mixture of pork and beef liver, bacon, and spices. It's typically served as part of a charcuterie platter or on rye bread.
Liverwurst is best when it's cooked to an internal temperature of 170 degrees Fahrenheit. This will give it that nice brown color and a slightly crispy crust.
The taste of liverwurst depends largely on how much bacon is included in the recipe, which determines its saltiness.
A good rule of thumb is that if you want to make something sweet for your Thanksgiving foods that start with L, liverwurst is a go, and you must use less bacon than you would for something savory (or add sweetener ingredients).

28. Land Cress

A delicate green herb with a peppery flavor, land cress is not to be confused with watercress which belongs to another genus entirely.
The plants of land cress are delicate, so it is best when eaten raw in salads or sandwiches.
Another way to enjoy it is by mixing it into fish sauces and using it as a garnish on soups. It does not keep very long, so you should use this herb immediately.

29. Loquat

The loquat, or Japanese plum, is a small fruit with a sweet and sour flavor. It is usually available in late winter and early spring. The loquat has green, leathery skin and yellow flesh.
You can eat them raw or cooked; they are often used to make jellies, jams, chutneys, and pies. Loquats contain high amounts of vitamin C and antioxidants.

30. Lemongrass

I can't think of anything better to eat on a cold, wintery day than a big bowl of thanksgiving foods that start with L.
The zesty, citrus flavor is perfect for warming up your insides while also providing a nice little vitamin boost. It's such an easy recipe too!
However, you need some chicken broth, fresh lemongrass, peeled ginger root, lots of fresh cilantro, and some salt (and pepper if you want) to taste.
Just add everything to a pot and let it simmer on low heat until all the flavors are well combined. I like to make this with lots of toppings like fried shallots, chopped peanuts, or even basil leaves that I can stir before serving.

31. Limoncello

The word limoncello literally means lemon honey in Italian. This sweet, citrus-flavored liqueur is perfect for any occasion, but especially on Christmas and New Year's Eve!
Limoncello is made by infusing lemon peels in alcohol, adding sugar to sweeten it, and then letting it rest for months.
It's usually served chilled or over ice with a splash of water or club soda. To make limoncello even more festive, add some fresh cranberries to make a cranberry limoncello!

32. Lettuce

Do you need a quick way to make your Thanksgiving dinner better? Try adding some Thanksgiving foods that start with L to it!
Lettuce has many health benefits, so it's a good idea to include this leafy green as part of your traditional menu. Here are some of the best Thanksgiving foods that start with L.
When it comes to lettuce, there are many different varieties to choose from. Green and red leaf lettuce both have a slightly bitter taste with a more bitter flavor when they're older.
Romaine is crunchier and has a more peppery taste which goes well with heavy salad dressings. An iceberg is milder than other lettuce and is a great choice for those who don't like the stronger flavors of other types of lettuce.

33. Lobscouse

This traditional Newfoundland dish is made with salt beef, potatoes and onions. Cooked in a pot or kettle, it's simmered together until tender and then thickened with flour.
The word lobscouse comes from the French lobster as this dish will be perfect for selecting from Thanksgiving foods that start with L.
It was originally made with lobster meat before salt beef became popular due to its affordability.
Lobscouse also has many variations depending on where you are in Newfoundland: it may be cooked in a large pot or kettle over an open fire and boiled for at least 4-6 hours; it might be served without vegetables (because they were scarce); and it might include carrots, turnip or parsnips.

34. Loganberry

The Loganberry is a cross between a blackberry and a raspberry. It was developed in 1907 by John Watson, who was a plant breeder from New Jersey.
The Loganberry typically has three to four times more sugar than other berries, with an intense taste that ranges from tart to tangy.
In addition to being delicious, the Loganberry is easy to grow and can be easily stored for long periods of time because of its high sugar content.

35. Lekvar

The word Lekvar is a common name for a fruit preserve made from whole quinces peeled and cooked with sugar.
The finished product has a consistency similar to that of jelly and can be used as a dessert topping or spread on cakes.
It also makes an excellent sauce when mixed with chicken, game meat, or pork. The name Lekvar comes from the Hungarian word lekvár, meaning fruit preserve.

36. Lox

You can't go wrong with lox when it comes to Thanksgiving foods that start with L. This cured salmon is delicious and packed with nutrients that will keep you energized all morning long.
Plus, it's super easy to make! How To Make Lox. Rinse a 1-pound salmon filet under cold water and pat dry with a paper towel on both sides.
Season both sides of the salmon with salt and pepper and place in a large bowl or dish. Combine one cup of sugar, one cup of kosher salt, three tablespoons dried dill weed, two tablespoons crushed black peppercorns, and four whole bay leaves in a small bowl and mix well to combine.

37. Lutefisk

This traditional Scandinavian dish is a gelatinous mass made from dried cod soaked in lye. It has a long history and was popular as a meat substitute during fasting.
Lutefisk is served traditionally with boiled potatoes, melted butter, and ground black pepper.
The taste and texture can be acquired for some people, but there's no denying that it's as appropriate to serve on Thanksgiving as Thanksgiving foods that start with L!
This traditional Scandinavian dish is a gelatinous mass made from dried cod soaked in lye. It has a long history and was popular as a meat substitute during fasting.
Lutefisk is served traditionally with boiled potatoes, melted butter, and ground black pepper.

38. Linguica

This dish is an American-Portuguese sausage made from pork, garlic, and red wine. The Linguica is a popular choice for those who like spicy foods because it has a hot kick to it. It’s commonly served with rice and beans or on its own as a breakfast meat.
Plus, this food is also great for outdoor barbecues because of its long shelf life and low price point. Try Linguica in your next meal today!

39. London Broil

Are you in charge of planning Thanksgiving foods that start with L? If so, congratulations! It's a big responsibility.
You may not know it but in addition to choosing food that everyone likes and making sure there are enough plates, silverware, and napkins on hand, you also need to consider the order of service.
For example: should the London broil be sliced ahead of time, or will people want to carve it themselves?
Will guests serve themselves from an entrée table, or will they be seated at their places with all their dishes set out for them?
And what about drinks? Which beverages will people prefer while they're waiting for dinner—water or wine? As you can see, there are a lot of decisions to make. But don't worry. London broil will always serve your guest right.

40. Liquor

This is obvious and will be needed for some of your guests. There are many different kinds of alcohol to choose from. If you know who will be coming, pick a type of alcohol that suits their tastes, whether that's wine, champagne, or something else entirely.
The liquor store is also where you can find all sorts of mixing ingredients, such as mixers like sodas or juices to go with it.!

41. Lahmacun

It's typically served with yogurt on the side for dipping or as a sauce for dipping. The dough is also sometimes sprinkled with sesame seeds before baking it.
The origins of Lahmacun are not entirely clear, but some believe it originated in Central Asia. While others say, it was popularized by Ottoman soldiers who brought this dish back to Turkey from their travels to Eastern Europe centuries ago.
No matter what its origins may be, one thing remains true - lahmacun is delicious among Thanksgiving foods that start with L!

42. Limpa

It's officially falling. This means that it's time to break out the pumpkin spice, but also time to enjoy the last of summer produce.
One of my favorite things about autumn is that we can finally start making some of our favorite Scandinavian dishes, like Limpa bread.
Limpa is a white bread containing wheat flour, rye flour, and malt syrup. It has a light texture and a lot of flavor from the combination of grains in it.
It was first created in Sweden for Easter Sunday because it's a special type of bread that uses all three main ingredients in communion wafers: wheat flour, water, and wine; rye flour; and malt syrup or molasses.

43. Lalanga

The lalanga, also known as pomegranate, is a tasty fruit with a sweet and tangy taste. It's also one of the first fruits to ripen in late summer.
The name for this fruit comes from the Persian word for apple, and it was brought to India by traders, where locals called it lalang.
There are many different varieties of Thanksgiving foods that start with L, and lalanga is one of them, and lalanga are of different types too, but they all look similar with thin-skinned red or dark-purple fruit.
Lalangas are often eaten fresh or dried, but they can be made into jams and other desserts. Lalangas are high in vitamin C, making them an excellent food for the cold season.

44. Liederkranz

I love Liederkranz. It's a mixture of cheeses, apples, and nuts that is baked in a ring-shaped dish. It's traditionally served at Christmas but tastes great any time of year.
My mom makes it for me every holiday because she knows I love it so much. Nothing is better than biting into one of those thick slices with whipped cream on top.

45. Lupin Beans

This ancient legume, lupin beans, is relatively unknown in the United States. They are gaining popularity with chefs and heirloom food enthusiasts alike due to their meaty texture, earthy flavor, and ease of use.
Lupins can be used in many dishes, including soups, salads, or even rice replacement. Rinse and soak overnight in water to which you have added 2 Tbsp of salt.
Drain and rinse again before cooking for about 30 minutes until tender but not mushy. Flavor with butter, soy sauce, or garlic if desired (optional).

46. Lavender

The first letter of lavender is L for Lavender. Lavender is a perennial plant and can be found in many colors, including purple, white, blue, and pink. The leaves are used for cooking, but the flowers are also edible.
This herb has a gentle flavor that goes well with other herbs like thyme or rosemary. Adding it at the end of the cooking process is best because heat will cook away some of its flavors.
When making mint tea or iced tea, you can use lavender buds as a substitute for peppermint leaves.

47. Lady Apple

Mix one cup of apple cider with three tablespoons of brown sugar in a bowl. Peel and chop two apples.
Add the apples to the mixture and stir. Place in a pot over medium heat and bring to a boil, occasionally stirring until it starts to thicken.
Reduce heat to low, cover pot, and let simmer for 15 minutes or until it becomes syrupy. Serve warm or cold with vanilla ice cream as a topping if desired.

48. Lentils

Lentils are an inexpensive and healthy source of protein, iron, zinc, and B vitamins. Lentils are also a good source of fiber which can help lower cholesterol levels.
They are perfect Thanksgiving foods that start with L for people with diabetes because they have a low glycemic index and do not cause rapid spikes in blood sugar.
Lentils come in both green and brown varieties and can be served on their own as a side dish or mixed with other ingredients to make soup, casseroles, or chili.

49. Lemons

The quintessential lemon is a yellow citrus fruit that looks like a large, roundish lime. Lemons are high in vitamin C and low in calories; they contain both citric and ascorbic acid.
The juice of lemons can be used as a flavoring or as an ingredient in many Thanksgiving foods that start with L, including desserts like lemon meringue pie.

50. Limes

Lime is a citrus fruit that is round in shape and lime green in color, though they come in various shades of green, from yellow-green to dark green, depending on the ripeness of the fruit.
They are typically sour and juicy, with some varieties being sweeter than others. Limes are a great way to add some tangy flavor to your dishes.
Whether you want to use them for margaritas or want to squeeze a little juice on top of your dish, limes will give you that tangy flavor.
Juicing limes can be messy, which is more challenging than juicing oranges because they are much smaller.
Be careful when juicing limes because you can easily get seeds in your drink, and nobody wants that. If you don't care about the seeds, squeezing limes might be easier for you than any other citrus fruit.

51. Liver

This nutrient-packed and low-calorie food should be noticed. It is rich in Vitamin A, Iron, and Selenium. The liver is also a good source of Zinc, Riboflavin, Niacin, Vitamin B6, Copper, and Potassium.
The consumption of liver can help build muscle mass due to its high protein content, which is perfect for Thanksgiving foods that start with L.

52. Lemon Basil

This recipe is a twist on traditional basil pesto. I wanted to use lemon because it's such an awesome flavor and in this recipe has that tart citrusy taste, which is perfect for fall.
It includes cilantro, garlic, olive oil, chili flakes, and basil. It's so simple to make and will be a great addition to your thanksgiving menu!

• Cup fresh cilantro leaves (leaves only) Cup fresh basil leaves (leaves only)
• Cup olive oil
• Cloves garlic
• Juice from one lemon
  
• A pinch of salt
  
• A few dashes of chili flakes
  

53. Lemon meringue pie

There is nothing more comforting or delicious to warm up with on Thanksgiving day than thanksgiving foods that start with L. Lemon meringue pie.
It has an airy, melt-in-your-mouth crust, creamy lemon filling, and a fluffy meringue topping that's baked to perfection.
You can make this dessert in advance and refrigerate it until you're ready to serve it. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit.
Line the pie crust with parchment paper or foil and fill it with pie weights or dry beans so that it doesn't puff up while baking.
Bake the crust for 8 minutes, then remove from the oven and remove parchment paper or foil along with weights and beans before adding the filling.

54. Lamb’s Lettuce

This type of lettuce is a cross between romaine and butterhead lettuce and has an overall soft appearance. The leaves are green or dark red in color and grow to be about five inches wide.
It features a mild flavor that blends well with most salad dressings, making it a favorite among chefs.
The leaves are crisp and can hold up to heavy dressings without wilting or becoming soggy like some other lettuces do when mixed with creamy sauces.
Conclusion
I hope this post has helped you with your search for new thanksgiving foods that start with L. It's important to keep in mind that only some dishes work for some families.
So be sure to make a list and try it out before you commit to anything. And, of course, if you have any occasion, please feel free to use thanksgiving foods that start with L. Happy Thanksgiving!

Hey all! First time poster long-time lurker, I’ll try to keep it simple.
I rescued a male stray cat and took him to get neutered yesterday, only to find out from the vet that he decided to pee on himself in his carrier, so now he smells SO BAD!! The pee smell is transferring onto anywhere he lays as well.
I asked my partner’s mother who’s had cats pretty much all her life for advice, and she said wiping him down with a mixture of peroxide, baking soda and a drop of essential oil would fix it, but my understanding is that essential oils are generally extremely toxic to cats (hence why I came here)
Has this happened to anyone else? Does anyone know how to make a cat not smell like pee? Besides the obvious bath, which I don’t think any of us are ready for at this stage?
Thanks in advance :)

Here is the recap of the 21 monetized posts from Kylea AND Joseph "Joe" Gomez on 05/04/24.
"Tricks and treachery are the practice of fools, that don't have brains enough to be honest." Benjamin Franklin
📢 This will be the last daily recap in this format. It's time to pivot & adapt to achieve the goal of demonetization. Here we go...
Disclaimer: I am semi-retired from healthcare with multiple college degrees. These opinions are my own based on social media content, medical sources, and internet searches used primarily to estimate/locate prices on actual/potential purchases. I wish no harm to Kylea or Joe Gomez.
Financial Disclosure: I am not affiliated with WW. I am not an influencer or paid content creator.
⚠️ Trigger Warning: Compulsive Buying Disorder (CBD), Disordered Eating, Emotional Support Animal (ESA), Gaslighting, and Grief will be discussed.
📢 Please speak with a medical professional about any questions or concerns you have about your health. Kylea, please seek medical care. ☮️
☎️ If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, please call or text 988 for assistance.
Due to the nature of Kylea & Joe's posts, this will be long. Take you time and bow out at any point in time. Your mental health is more important.

1. ⚠️ Disordered Eating - Strawberry banana yogurt sugar free oatmeal pancakes (topped with fresh banana, strawberry and 1/4 cup SF syrup) with 2 salsa scrambled eggs = 4 WW point breakfast.
   
2. ⚠️ Disordered Eating - Kylea details her food aversions, "textures, smells, etc," that she's had "my entire life."
   
3. ⚠️ CBD - Surprise! Kylea bought an extra blended coffee yesterday and feels special because the baristas wrote "OG" on her cup. "I don't even have to tell them my order anymore. 😂 😂 💖 💖."
   
4. ⚠️ CBD New Sandals Part 1 - Kylea asked 138k+ people what their favorite comfy sandals were. She wants to wear a new pair on her trip in 10 days.
   
5. ⚠️ CBD New Sandals Part 2 - Her feet are shown with 2 different options of new sandals. "I'm not sure which one I like best so I'm sleeping on it to see which one I like best in a day or two after I think about it. My teva's don't fit anymore since my foot has shrunk. 💖"
   

⏸️ This is classic CBD.

1. ⚠️ CBD Crazy Llama Stop - "I don't drive a Tesla but my car always ends up at the coffee shop."

⏸️ This is classic CBD and the action of someone addicted to sweet with a splash of coffee. 😉

1. ⚠️ Gaslighting aka California Part 1 - "I've had a very specific Katy Perry song on repeat since I booked my flight the other day. Any guesses where I'm heading next? 😂 ✈️"

⏸️ This spam post was referencing the "California Gurl" song. Please forget all past references to Kylea being concerned about her safety and not posting about trips until she is home. Also, she is humble and does not boast about her spending.

1. ⚠️ Gaslighting aka Body Hair Part 1 - "I love summer but that means I gotta start taking care of my "winter legs" and idk if I have the energy for it yet. I know I'm not the only one. 😂 😂"

⏸️ Body hair is natural and to each their own. However, if you do not have the energy to remove your leg hair, stop trying to convince 138k+ people that you will be able to physically care for a dog (more than likely a puppy). ✌️

1. ⚠️ ESA aka Using the Pet Cat for Content - "My boy is not making Santa's nice list today. I think he might of overheard his mom talk about getting a dog.😂"

⏸️ Oliver looks less than pleased in the picture. Kylea is naive to think that a (puppy) dog and cats will automatically get along. She has described behavioral issues with both cats.

1. ⚠️ CBD, ESA & Gaslighting - "I haven't found our future dog yet but I did already order her a pink western cowgirl dress. Priorities. 😂 💖"

⏸️ Everyone take a breath...
Kylea has decided what kind of dog she is getting but won't share that info yet. It will be a "registered emotional support animal and approved" and this comment, "I was attacked when I was younger by a bigger dog so I can't be around any big animals."
⏸️ 😲 She just swam with a large pig and wants to hug Drue's large dogs??? ⏸️ To my knowledge, ESA's do not have to be registered in a database.

1. Body Hair Part 2 - She will be using Nair. 👀 👌 Some things are better left unsaid and not monetized...
   
2. Dinner Part 1 - "Joe. The man. The myth. The legend. The George Foreman grill master. 🤣 💖"
   

⏸️ It is obvious Kylea is dominant and Joe is submissive. (No shame intended.)

1. ⚠️ CBD, Grief & Gaslighting aka California Part 2- This speech was full of mental gymnastics as Kylea reminisced on a trip to Disneyland as a child and why she is taking her sister on a trip.
   
2. ⚠️ Disordered Eating & Gaslighting aka Dinner Part 2 - "If I have any advice to give about a health journey and sustainability it's to not over complicate it." This 4 WW point dinner was grilled chicken, airfried sweet potato, and 2 corn on the cobs each with SF ketchup and SF G Hughes sauce. They "don't bring home a lot of soda" but drank Zero Sugar Creamy Coconut Dr. Pepper.
   

⏸️ Please forget the other 9ish posts about soda in the last 2 months. 😉 ⏸️ Holy carbs and spray vegetable oil! ⏸️ Don't take advice on a "health journey" from someone who is UNhealthy and UNeducated.

1. ⚠️ CBD & Disordered Eating Dinner Part 3 - Joe is the best. He brought Kylea tiramisu Pineapple Bliss, and Joe is making himself a coconut flavored float with his purchase.
   
2. Joe Posting Under Kylea's Account Part 1 - "She said I was talking about cake in my sleep the other night so she's baking me one now. 😂😂😂"
   

⏸️ Are laugh emojis part of their relationship agreement? ⏸️ Why is Joe posting with her account?

1. ⚠️ CBD California Part 3 - "I'm heading to CALIFORNIA in just 10 short days so here's a picture from when I was a little girl at Disney land. 💖☀️"

⏸️ 👌 We understand. You have CBD.

1. ⚠️ Gaslighting aka Joe Posting Under Kylea's Account Part 2 - 🚨 I will be posting Joe's full statement. Scroll to #19 if you don't have time to understand the mind of her #1 Enabler, aka Mr. 🐈 🐟 ...

"I want to talk about my wife for a minute. There are times that I don't think people understand how much love and effort she's put into sharing her story or how strong she's had to become because people have been so unkind to her in the sharing of her story. What I'm so proud of is that she's refused to allow those who are unkind to stop her from sharing what God has done in her life and mine. I know there are times when others have felt she's not responding back to comments and messages, but that woman spends almost all day doing exactly that. For what it's worth, I'm proud of her for all the lives she's impacted for the better because she's opened up and shared her story."
⏸️ Joe, bring it in. I understand that at one point, you read the Bible and attended some form of a Bible college so you of all people know what the Bible says about sin, pharisees, false prophets, and final judgment.
As you live in denial and continue to enable your UNhealthy spouse, I will focus on the positive ripple effect that will occur when Kylea is demonetized and hopefully deplatformed. I am happy that you will have your job and plasma donation to fall back on.
There is power in the truth. If you both stand firm in your faith, you should confess everything to Kylea's followers and let them decide whether to support you both or not. ✝️

1. ⚠️ CBD Joe Posting Under Kylea's Account Part 3 - "I'm thankful for this woman every day of my life ❤️ I hope we have many more years of cruising together. She said she wants to go to Aruba in 2025. 🛳"

⏸️ Keep blatantly violating Meta policies, and you will be demonetized long before this 🛳.

1. Let him eat cake - "When your husband talks about cake in his sleep you make him a cake. 😂"
   
2. ⚠️ Disordered Eating - Kylea posts the recipe for this 3 WW point cake.
   

🚨 Kylea consumed 10 WW points in food and approx. 1-3 WW points in beverages today out of (up to) 30 WW points total in maintenance mode. This is DANGEROUS messaging.
Takeout Purchases: Surprise blended coffee 05/03= $8 est +tip; Blended Coffee today = $8 est + tip; Pineapple Bliss × 2 = $6.98 est + tip;
Shopping: Nair Sensitive Formula Shower Cream Hair Removal 12 oz= $9.97 est + tax
All info from Reddit. ✌️

Hi everyone! I hope I don't get hate for this, I'm really sad and need some help! Any advice is appreciated.
I have a 15g tank which had: 1 Betta, 3 Cory's, a blue velvet shrimp, a ghost shrimp and a kuhli loach.
2 of my Cory's have passed away this week. We moved last weekend and I suspect the large water change was too severe. 😞 I tried to keep as much as I could but fish tanks are obviously heavy to move even when mostly empty.
Today I noticed my blue shrimp was dead, half eaten. I saw my Betta picking at him. I'm sad as the shrimp was honestly one of my favourites in the tank. I love their little legs when they swim and the way they eat with their hands.
I have noticed my water has very low alkaline, very low pH and is very soft. All 3 were as low as possible on the test. I read that pH can show low on a test if alkaline is less than 80ppm, so I added a little baking soda which boosted the alkaline and added pH+.
Here are the new parameters: Nitrates/Nitrites 0ppm pH: 7.0/7.5 Alkalinity: 180 Hardness: between 0-25 Temperature: 73°F (it's usually higher, around 76°. I turned the heater down a bit as the new house has a lot of windows, I didn't want the water to get too hot) . . .

• Question 1: How do you handle moving a fish tank to a new house and doing the water change? I kept as much water as I could in the tank but it's obviously very heavy to move with water in it.
  
• Question 2: Will low alkalinity and/or soft water kill fish and shrimp?
  
• Question 3: My fiance thinks the Betta is attacking and killing the other tank mates. How likely is it that he's killing his tank mates off one by one? Is it more likely the water being low alkaline and pH is what killed them?
  

Any other relevant advice is appreciated! I love fishkeeping and I want to give all my creatures the best life. I have big dreams to have a really amazing planted tank one day but clearly I'm failing somewhere and want to get this figured out before doing anything further.
Thanks if you've read all this, I know it's long!

I'm writing this post even though I'm still not completely cured, in the hope that it will help someone because I know how hard it is to live like that. This disease has damaged me both mentally and physically. Every day the same problems, the same despair and disappointment. A very stressful period and bad lifestyle habits led to the fact that I have GERD. Now I feel much better, my body is slowly recovering, and I am grateful for that. The symptoms I had, and now occasionally have, are:
1)burning in the chest
2)poor digestion of food
3)a sudden increase in acid (as if I have a volcano instead of a stomach)
4)sour taste in the mouth
5)sore throat with a lot of mucus inside, especially in the morning
6)acid-smelling breath
Before reading, I must note that I am not a medical professional or a doctor, and I am only speaking from my experience with this.
What I have learned from researching this, and from my own experience, is that in most cases this disease is not caused by having too much acid, but too little. When there is too little acid in the stomach, it changes its PH value to a higher PH value, which is getting closer to bases. At the beginning of our stomach there is a muscle called the LES, which serves to pass food in and which keeps acid in during digestion. However, when the acid changes its PH value, that LES begins to weaken and open for no reason. When you have a reduced amount of acid, the gases of that acid, as well as the acid itself, can very easily go out through that open LES, which should otherwise be closed, enter the throat, nose, sinuses, and cause all the symptoms you have.
How do you know if you have low level of stomach acid? Take this short test. In the morning, before you eat anything, take a glass of non-cold water and mix one tablespoon of baking soda in it. Drink it all at once, without pauses. If it takes you more than 5 minutes to burp, you have low stomach acid.
Also the first thing I often see people mention is that you should be tested for h. pylori, because it can often be the cause of such disorders. I recommend everyone reading this post to do it, I will do it myself soon.
Now I'm going to talk about everything I've learned so far during GERD treatment:
1)Classic advice when talking about this but very important: find the food that irritates your GERD, because you don't have the luxury of eating it while you are being treated. This food is not universal for everyone, although the fact is that very spicy food and fatty food are bad for us. Alcohol also raises the acid too much. Think about what foods make your acid spike. For me, these are: tuna, peppers, pâté, paprika, alcohol...
2)Also classic advice, but you have to sleep with your head slightly raised from the bed, turned to the left side. When you sleep on your left side, it's hard for the acid to go from your stomach all the way to your throat and plus when it's elevated so it can't go up as easily, you'll save your throat during the night.
3)Lifestyle changes. This is an unsexy answer but unfortunately it has to be. Reduce sweets, reduce carbohydrates, preferably switch from white flour to integral. Avoid alcohol, cigars. Avoid stress or learn to deal with it. Go train. All of this helps our body to become physically and mentally stronger, which is very necessary to heal from this. If this is not your chance to start with it, then what is? And by the way, you wouldn't miss anything if you were healthier and in better shape, wouldn't you? :)
4)Do not chew gum. I know it's hard not to chew because what we all have in common with GERD is bad, acidic breath, but from my experience chewing gum only dries out the throat and oral cavity, which we don't need at all, plus they create additional acid because the body thinks you're chewing food and produces acid that has nothing to break it down, and thus you create an even bigger problem for yourself, and by the way, your breath is worse because now there is even more acid, and it's like a vicious circle. It's much better to find some bonbons instead, preferably with a flavor other than peppermint because that also raises the acid. Although in my opinion, you won't need any of this if you apply some of the following steps. You will soon see why.
5)I recommend that you change your toothpaste to a fruity one, because again, as with chewing gum, peppermint can cause a lot of mucus in the throat.
6)Do not drink water half an hour before eating, nor half an hour after eating. Water will dilute our acid and thus weaken our digestion, and it will also very possibly lead to an acid flare up. Also, when you drink water, make sure it's not cold, because cold water raises acid very easily, for me it's instant.
7)Introduce a few foods that are good for digestion into your diet. I decided it would be banana, greek yogurt and oats. These three things can be combined in one dish, and are extremely good for digestion. Banana and oats are rich in fiber, while greek yogurt contains many beneficial bacteria for the stomach because it is a fermented product. They don't raise acid, at least not to me. Probiotics are also more than welcome. Also eat more small meals instead of less meals but big. It is easier for you low acid stomach to digest smaller portions then bigger.
8)Make sure your dinner is 3 hours before bedtime. After eating, do not put pressure on the stomach. Do not bend, do not jump, do not lie down, sit but with a straight back, it is ideal to walk and be straight.
Okay, these were some tips on what to do to avoid the situation getting worse, and to make it a little better. However, the question remains, how do we increase that stomach acid that is causing this? Here's how I do it:
APPLE VINEGAR
This has been mentioned quite often in the GERD community, and for good reason. This is the main thing that helped me raise my acid level. Why? Because this is also just acid, and we really need that. It has helped many people, changed their lives, including me. How to take? In a glass of non-cold water, stir one tablespoon of ACV, and drink with a straw. Don't drink without a straw because it's still acid and not good for your teeth, so when you drink with a straw it goes straight down your throat without touching your teeth. Your throat will burn a little in the beginning, but you'll get used to it after a day or two. Drink this three times a day, before each meal. This is how you prepare your stomach for food, with an additional amount of acid, which it desperately needs. This I think is the main way to raise stomach acid naturally and close the LES.
Also notice that after drinking ACV and eating, you won't have that acidic breath (this can be checked by licking your wrist and smelling it after 20 seconds). That's why I said you won't need bonbons that much (be sure to keep it in your pocket just in case). It will take you a couple of weeks to drink this regularly, and then at some point you will notice that it is too much for you, because after drinking the ACV and eating, you will start hiccups and belching, because you have too much acid. This means it is time to reduce the dose. Maybe once a day, before dinner, so that the LES would be closed overnight. But please, don't forget about the ACV when you get to this stage because you will too easily let the acid in your stomach reduce again. Monitor the condition, monitor the breath, and then consume as needed. Sometimes you will need more, never less, sometimes not at all. After a certain time, when you progress in recovery, maybe you will drink once a month, maybe not even that much. But don't be in too much of a hurry, monitor your condition and drink as much as you need.
SORE THROAT AND MUCUS
This is something that still bothers me, but the situation is much better. Before, I couldn't even swallow normally without something getting stuck in my throat. Swollen throat every morning with a lot of secretions inside. With this secretion, the throat defends itself from incoming acid and manages to preserve it as much as possible. What to do? To expel that mucus? No. This mucus should not be expelled until the condition visibly changes. This will occasionally decrease as the acid condition improves. When I saw that everything was getting better, I started doing only two things, and so far they are very effective:
1)Rinsing the nose and sinuses with water and salt. This removes all the secretions from the sinuses, nose and throat. Mix 1/2 teaspoon of salt in a glass of warm water, so not tablespoons, but smaller spoons. Go to the bathroom and take a "sniff" of it with your nose over the sink and spit it out. It's very difficult to explain it now with words, you'll see for yourself when you try. Repeat this a few times until you feel that you have expelled enough, and blow your nose afterwards. Mucus will still get back but much less.
2)Hydration of the throat. During this period, the throat can be quite dry, at least for me, and that's why it needs something to hydrate it and restore the mucous membrane of the throat. And that's water. Drink plenty of water while your throat is recovering. Also get something at the pharmacy that is for mucosal regeneration and dry throat. I use Iceland lichen lozenges and they seem to help.
BTW, after you get to the point where you feel much better and the acid does not come back into your mouth, it is recommended that you go to the dentist because this disease has many consequences on the teeth! In my opinion, there is no point in going and fixing the teeth if the acid will come and ruin it all again. So my logic is: first make good progress, and only then go and fix it.
This is a mini guide through the treatment of GERD. Remember that this is a journey and there will be ups and downs. But as long as you keep moving forward and as long as you try, you will make a difference. Like you, I was discouraged, but now I finally see the light at the end of the tunnel and I'm going towards it. Thanks if you've read this far, I wish you a fast recovery and remember you're not alone in this. P.S. if you have any questions, ask in the comments or send as a message. Bye :)

Salt.
I find it strange no one mentioning it. Not only does it have a shelf life of forever but it's an ESSENTIAL mineral. Depending on how much body weight you have a person could go without food for MONTHS (look up water fasting) and still have full functions of the mind and body; as long as you have enough drinkable water AND electrolytes aka various salts.
There are thousands of different chemicals salts. The body needs many of these to survive. Ingesting a mixture of salts/ electrolytes could be the difference between keeping your facilities or dying with spasms and a raging migraine.
Plus table salt and others are great for:
-headache remedy -wound disinfectant and healing -Preserving food -killing plants -testing for rotten eggs -soothing stings -grease fire control -a cleaning abrasive -odor neutralizer -cleaning blood or wine stains
And it makes things taste better.
There are many kinds of salt. Potassium iodine happens to be one mentioned often in this sub. I'd like for the other salts to get their appreciation due to the bodily need. The big ones I'm hinting at are standard table salt, baking soda, calcium carbonate (Tums/chalk), and magnesium sulfate (Epsom salt).

Hey there so I have had sinus pain since late March, it is currently early May. For a couple weeks I thought it was getting better and almost went away but then it came back. So overall I've had this for about 5 - 6 weeks.
I use to have chronic sinus infections and pain. The last time I had sinus problems was 10 years ago. So it's weird it is happening again suddenly. In the past antibiotics would usually solve the problem. I haven't had anything more than very mild seasonal allergies in the past 10 years either.
I take Flonase and have been for about 20 years and use it only about once a week. I started using it for congestion that was causing me migraines.
Symptoms: The main one and only symptom I care about and want fixed is forehead pain and eyebrow area pain. It can be 8/10 some days. My whole head and neck hurt too. I have other muscle tension issues so all the pain is combining into one and it is really brutal. Slight pain on cheek bones. Briefly had a sore throat and white tongue. One day my throat was swollen. I gargled with apple cider vinegar and salt and it went away 15 min later. A little bit of blood was in throat for one day. That was weird because I wasn't coughing so that didn't come from coughing. Very mild ear ache (both ears).
Symptoms I DON'T have: Green/yellow mucus; my mucus is completely clear. I have no cough. No congestion. Nose is not stuffy. No post-nasal drip. My nose is very mildly runny. So no problems with too much mucus or coughing. No additional pain in my face or head when I bend over. No additional pain when I press on sinus areas. No problems breathing. No fever.
Went to the doctor. Two doctor appointments. First one looked up my nose and said there is inflammation. She didnt seem sure or not if I had a bacterial infection but prescribed me doxycycline. I am terrified to take it because the last two times I took antibiotics I had horrible reactions to them. It's a long story. But basically something about my body and antibiotics has been very bizarre the last couple years. I have the doxycycline but haven't taken it. If I am going to take it I have to set aside a few days to see how I react. But honestly I would rather try Amoxicillin first before doxy since it is the first line of antibiotic treatment for sinus infections and seems to have the potential for less intense side effects, so I think I am going to find a doctor to prescribe that to me if I can. I am scared to take them but I have to risk it.
2nd doctor appointment with a different doctor: doctor looked at my ears, nose, throat and mouth and saw some inflammation in the left ear and that was it. He said he doesnt believe I have an infection and saw no reason to prescribe antibiotics.
I don't really know what to think. TW: I am very scared and have a lot of anxiety over this and feel like dying. The pain is ruining my life. I have dealt with so much chronic pain in my life, especially the last few yesrs. I don't know what to do. Maybe if anyone has any opinions or insight into if I have a bacterial infection, a virus, allergies, or just inflammation (but still very painful), or a combination of things, let me know.
My fears are 1. How long will I have to live with this pain and 2. That my sinus problems are bacterial and the only way to fix this is that I will have to take/try antibiotics and having bad reactions to them and having to repeat this cycle and try more antibiotics over and over again
Things I am doing: Nasal rinse with neti pot with baking soda, salt and xylitol packets once every day or two. Tried apple cider vinegar rinse a couple times. Doesnt seem to help at all but I keep doing it.
Taking several supplements: probiotics, garlic, oil of oregano, turmeric, NAC, vitamin C, and others
The thing is, I had a UTI a while back and took two rounds of antibiotics and they didnt work. I did some research and took supplements to get rid of my UTI and it worked very well and went away in about a month. So I figured Id try the same thing again with the sinus infection. But taking supplements doesn't seem to be doing anything.
I fucking hate my life.
Edit: I got a blood test and my neutrophils are a little high. Although high neutrophils can mean tons of things it probably does mean I have a bacterial sinus infection. I am terrified to take antibiotics. I could bawl. Oh my god.