Please bear with me as this is a longer post. So my husbands mom, we can call her C, has gone through so much in her life. She has suffered loss after loss; just about a month or two ago she lost two close friends in a house fire. Well, she has had this friend, we will call her J, for about 30 years or so. They’ve raised their children together, saved each other from significant others etc. Recently, J and her husband had a domestic dispute and had to be separated because the husband was on parole (not really sure in the details here, just what J explained to C), and C offered to let J stay with her for a couple of months while she figured out her next course of action. Now C unfortunately got into some legal trouble with drugs probably almost a year ago now and she’s on reporting probation. She has been doing everything right, though. She passes every UA, she doesn’t hang out with felons etc she just wants to do and be better. Here’s where things get weird. So a couple weeks ago, J disappeared and wasn’t answering any messages or calls from C. Well C got fed up because she had already been catching J in weird lies, like she claimed that her doctor was in the same town as C when they were not. Eventually, C notified J that she just needed to come get her things if she wasn’t going to be living there and that was all. Skip forward a few days and J is in the hospital and claiming that she’s been diagnosed with congestive heart failure. When she’s released from the hospital, J looks horrible and afraid she’s going to die, so C brings all of her kids (they are all adults now) to visit with J. This congestive heart failure game goes on for a couple weeks, and then J disappears again until this past Saturday night. C came to visit my husband and I on Saturday, and we live one and half hours from C so it’s not like a super quick drive. While over here, C looks at her cameras on her phone and wouldn’t you know it, J is at the house getting her items, obviously she waited until C was not home to do this. So of course she had to leave our visit to rush home and hopefully catch J, which she didn’t unfortunately. C calls us on Mother’s Day, and in tears. J stole a bunch of her things; things as stupid as toilet paper and dish soap, to things that had extreme sentimental value, like a flannel that C received from an ex that passed away, and a bracelet charm that belonged to her niece who died last year. J then blocked C on all social media. Over the last couple of days, C has been realizing that there’s something is wrong. First, all her fish were dead (this happened while J was still in the home), then her cats were sick (a couple days before J left), then she got sick (like REALLY sick) and has been for a couple days now. Well she was going through her fridge last night and got a water bottle and when she opened it, she noticed it smelled like bleach. She opened a second bottle and same thing..so she went to her primary care and yall would not believe what the tests said! First, her white blood cell count is craaaazy high. She tested positive for a multitude of things; ecstasy, mdma, meth, and evidence that she’s ingested BLEACH! She called my husband hysterical after her appointment. I feel horrible for her. She has lived alone for I think around 3 years now, and lives in a small town far from any major city, because she inherited her home. She was excited to have a close friend staying with her, to have some companionship again, and this is what she gets. So I’m here to ask for some advice. She’s spoken with her po to let her know the situation, but she talked to her po before her doctors appointment. She’s afraid of getting the cops involved because of what was found on her tests, but at the same time she can’t just let J be out and about and free to possibly come back and do something even more insane. We would really appreciate any advice that anyone could give us, legal, supportive whatever you may have just please 🙏

I just wanted to clarify some things.
English isn’t my first language so please go easy on some of my word choices.
I am not terrified of dogs in a way that it affects my life. I tried to explain in my post, maybe poorly.. but despite my past with them, I love dogs. We want to get a dog too. Big off leash dogs however, make me really nervous. Specifically scenarios like the incident I described in the post (and there were other incidents too that I did not describe, but just said “it happened twice before”). I promise my fear is not irrational. It is valid. I am not the type of person who overreacts or wants to ever make waves or have issues with anyone. I actively try to avoid this. My fiancé isn’t a hotheaded person by any means either. I made my post because I initially felt uncomfortable about the course of action he took. But based on comments, it seems his was not an abnormal response.
Both dogs are the cane corso breed. They are huge.
The dogs seem friendly— but more than that they seem really unpredictable. They don’t follow through with commands and recall. They do bark and show aggression sometimes, because they are territorial. In a comment I shared my neighbor said they are used to wandering on our property because our property was unoccupied previously (it’s a new build). So maybe they see it as their territory?
They have barked at myself and my fiancé in the past. It’s like a threatening type bark.. their posture reflects a guarding mode or alertness. They also jump, including jumping on their owner. They have tried to jump on me once in the past because I was holding something.. I quickly knew to put my hand with the object down. So a close call has happened before. I’m fairly petite and I could definitely see myself getting knocked off balance if one of them jumped on me. I worry about this a lot as I get further along in my pregnancy.
The laws where we live state dogs must be leashed or confined to the owners property. Just because it’s a rural area doesn’t mean it’s lawless. Most people here are responsible dog owners with well trained dogs.
Not everyone in this area has full perimeter fences because there’s lots of distance and privacy with the natural landscaping. Still… people keep their dogs on their own properties. When they walk their dogs, it’s on leash. If by chance you run into an off leash dog.. when the owner sees someone approaching, the dog goes back to the owner or back on leash. This is how I see people on trails here doing it. Why does this neighbor feel so entitled? If his dogs can’t be recalled … he should never risk off leash.
My fiancé made every respectful attempt to communicate with the neighbor and outline all of our concerns clearly BEFORE the warning shot occurred.
The neighbor has never shown that same respect to us, and he made no changes in his attitude or behavior or attempts to keep his dogs from wandering. He even told me once that I don’t “look” pregnant.
My fiancé has always addressed him calmly and spoken to him professionally. This includes the day he fired the shot. He has never so much as swore at my neighbor or raised his voice at him but I can’t say the same for the neighbor, who I could hear swearing and shouting from indoors. All of his interactions with my partner have been overtly aggressive and angry. My partner is always calm. He is known amongst his colleagues for his calm demeanor.
That night.. he was again getting in my fiancé’s face so my fiancé firmly asked him to leave. He did let him know next time he will shoot his dogs. Neither me nor my partner want the dogs to be hurt and hope it never gets to that.
I have an officer from animal control now who I can call if they come into our property again but if the dogs come at me and my fiancé were to shoot it, the police said my fiancé is within his right to do so. It sounds really harsh guys, but it’s allowed. Obviously I don’t want that.
I would have even tried to make friends with his dogs on my own terms … but the neighbor didn’t let us have good introductions. This is on him. Not me.. especially when I’m minding my own business on my deck or whatever and dogs come at me out of nowhere. It’s truly scary. I described a scenario where they came charging at me but didn’t attack me in the end. It was a best case scenario and I got really lucky. So many people have a story like this where they weren’t lucky. I really didn’t know in that moment what was going to happen to me. And it was terrifying.
Anyways now the bridge is totally burned. So I hope we can just peacefully coexist without talking to each other.
Finally.. someone sent me something called Reddit Cares or some kind of reporting happened. So I wanna emphasize my fiancé is NOT an abuser. He is also not someone who runs out haphazardly with a gun and shoots it carelessly or hates people or something. He is just a protective person and my pregnancy has heightened it. I have miscarried before. It's not to make excuses but I feel bad if my post gets misconstrued and people think my fiancé would ever hurt me. He’s not the threat I am experiencing.

I wasn't entirely sure where to chronicle the wonderous tale of Clyde, because this spans multiple websites including reddit. Not enough drama localized here for it to be subredditdrama , and not enough on the Discord for it to be considered discordhorrorstories, and not enough TTRPG for rpghorrorstories.
Mods, feel free to direct me to the proper place if this isn't it. Anyway, on with the disaster.
Our tale begins on a subreddit in a semi-niche community of the RP side of Reddit, which I won't name because of Rule 9. It's a medieval-themed board where you can post memes if you want, but is mainly known for it's "encounter posts" and long, long chains of IC conversations between the regulars of the sub. I myself love the place, my Doctor Who OC (isn't relevant to the tale so I'll keep info on that brief) is one such regular, having decided to become that planet's Doctor stand-in. Long irrelevant story. Check my comment history, I'm all over that sub. Any references to that character are just to provide examples for how things work there.

Some background to understand the landscape:

Character creation is pretty lax there. One doesn't necessarily have to be a knight, (such as my character for example) but most people choose to be. It's gotten some controversies in the past concerning technology limitations to some extent, mainly asking folks to flavor things fantasy-style, such as my character being viewed as an eccentric artificer who lives in a box of miracles. A phrase I see commonly for when people ask questions about this is something like this:

"You can have an F-22 Raptor, but it cannot be an F-22 Raptor. Perhaps a Da-Vinci style flying machine propelled by magic to have comparable speed instead?"

Stuff like that. The community doesn't want to stifle creativity, but also don't want people to ruin the DnD-style universe with technology far outstripping the era (hence why my character must be secretive about his Tardis; Meta-perspective it's to avoid violating the tech rule more than it already does by nature). There's also a no-NSFW/ERP rule (unless its in DMs), which will come into play later.
Due to rulings like this, it has the obvious problem of how to settle things like duels, or how various people groups see each other IC. This caused a mutual agreement over on the discord to have the combatants agree on the terms of the duel beforehand, either in DMs or OOC somewhere. Stuff like, HP per character, highest D20 wins/best of 3, or first to Nat 20. Alternatively, self-hosted Encounter Posts can have their own rules, which must be outlined in the comment section by OP. Here's an example stat block from one such encounter:
https://preview.redd.it/xlo49rq4ih0d1.png?width=1122&format=png&auto=webp&s=dd7c9908af081c25953ebebcb1ed1a3a40c04eb6

Now, where does Clyde come into play?

Once upon a time, there was a user I'll call Clyde. Clyde is effectively the most anime character of all anime characters I've ever seen in my time in that community. To put it bluntly, he refuses to lose. I don't mean like he's very determined or super good at the combat, or a clever RP-er. I mean, his characters (of which the Tupperbox list on the Discord is FULL of, which will come up later), have miscellaneous excuses as to why they can literally never lose any engagement. Not one. Hence the nickname, "The Nuh-Uh King"
Here's a word for word excerpt from the Bio of one of his characters. Keep in mind, he's no troll. I've talked to him in VC before. This is completely, unironically, serious.

She was also born with several vampiric abilities yet none of the weaknesses.

I have plenty of more snippets just like this if not worse, including one that I couldn't relocate to post here that in summary said "can cast Wish as a Cantrip" (Clyde typically prefers to use DnD for organization of his very overpowered moveset.) or claiming to be level 50, despite DnD maxing at 20.
Note: Clyde insists on DnD-puritanism in his interactions, only to immediately violate his own rules.
By far the most cursed of his lineup is the Golden Half-Dragon. This character supposedly can predict the opponent's moves before they make them. Most Encounter Hosts try to make him roll for this, but he insists it's an innate ability that doesn't have to be rolled, and he has "+30 on every roll" (despite the Encounters not typically allowing modifiers) so he cannot fail anyway. Additionally, there is no Saving Throw for the opponent. Using the same justification, you cannot circumvent it. It's always a Critical hit, and he flaunts this totally fair ability to one-shot anyone and anything, including Lovecraftian Elder Gods (We have a Warlock or two who have dark pacts with Outer Beings)
Clyde seems to have no concept of fun for people other than himself. There's been several incidents of him joining other people's threads, of course one-shotting their instance of the Encounter and declaring himself the winner. People often just ignore him, but sometimes people will try to argue with him about it, and he gets very defensive and picks a fight with the person who won't just let him steamroll their combat. Not to mention, the hypocrisy can be smelled a MILE away.
Here's another lovely message in one such argument. TLDR-ed because there was a bunch of anime exposition that I'm not gonna make you read.

"I snap my fingers and the entire army falls dead, (TW: Violence) their heads severed from their bodies in a fraction of an instant with my blade."

The person protests about ruining the fun (Encounter involved liberating an occupied village by stealth or counter-raiding or assassination of the General, a boss. It was open ended, but they asked for creativity in the post. You were allowed to challenge the army, but you couldn't John Wick them, the Host asked that a Tactical victory be done through soldiers of the Commenter's own). They argued that it was overpowered to do that alone and not very fun to host. Posts a hypothetical of what if someone with the same unimaginably powerful level of a character was able to take down his character in one hit and received this as a response:

"If I ever meet a character that strong I won't consider them canon nor interact with them. My characters are too powerful and they can't lose so it wouldn't happen anyway."

Once more, this was without /s, this was without a hint of irony. I've seen trolls do something similar before, but no one has gone to a practically cartoonish level with it. Everyone is pretty tired of it, and he's been warned by the Mods of both the Subreddit and the Discord multiple times, which brings us to Part 3:

Clyde Joins the Discord

Oh, boy. THIS is a story. So the Discord has several separate sections, places where people can interact OOC and talk about games or other interests outside of Text RP. They also have threads for IC stuff if, say, your character wanted to rent a room at the local Tavern, or conduct business at the marketplace, or visit a shop run by someone else.
The moment he discovered that a Discord existed, the Tupperbox creation channel was absolutely flooded with his characters, and ALL of them are almost impressively overpowered in some form or fashion. I won't go into detail, but it's a long list.
Pretty quickly, a nasty habit of "ghost-pinging" or @ ing someone repeatedly and then deleting the messages developed. One of his warnings was due to this habit, and to his credit it happens less often now, but if you don't respond for more than a minute after he continues, the spam begins until you return. Now, I understand sending a reminder to be sure they remember the interaction/figure out if they're ghosting, but this is insane.
The other warning so far was his rampant violation of the No-ERP rule. I'm friends with one of the mods on the Discord, and they showed me a thread of him writing a lengthy scene between two of his Tuppers in the public channels, after being told he couldn't. I've seen a lot worse, but it wasn't pleasant to read over regardless.
This adventure is still ongoing, I'll be sure to post more Clyde Stories if you liked this one. Why he hasn't been banned from both yet, I have no idea, but it makes for amazing tales.

Mr. Steve Lewis
Mr. Patrick McKinney
Mr. Bryan Freiermuth
c/o Gideons 1898 LLC et al
1600 East Buena Vista Drive

A

Lake Buena Vista, FL 32830
VIA ELECTRONIC MAIL
May 10th, 2024
Final Demand
Gentlemen,
There is an odor most foul in the Bakehouse. It is the stench of the fish rotting from the head.
To our proprietor Steve, and our managers Bryan and Patrick:
There is dissension within the ranks, and if the following items are not resolved as we outline
below, we’re prepared to drag this house of cards to the ground.
Before we proceed with our grievances, numerous and shocking, and the demands to resolve
them; allow us a moment for introductions.
We, are the Ghosts of Gideons, the poor and unfortunate souls upon whom you have built your
cookie empire. We are the many, the unseen, and as of the disastrous meeting May 6th, 2024, the
decidedly unheard.
Many of us have approached management and ownership multiple times with helpful hints,
strong suggestions, and desperate pleas to rectify a myriad of health, safety and operational
concerns- with nearly all of them being dismissed or ignored entirely.
Now, we, the collective, have banded together to deliver this tome- not as a warning of what is to
come, but as a final demand to resolve the issues outlined herein. You may dismiss us
individually, but you cannot ignore all of us together.
Make no mistake, if the following solutions are not implemented with immediate effect, we will
do everything in our power to topple this cookie castle permanently.
We should start by informing you, that, yes- we are but lowly workers for Gideons, however, we
are supported by families who hold prominent positions in the community as lawyers, labor
1
representatives, publicists, and county government workers. Families who love us, and want to
see us remain safely and fairly employed.
Through our vast, and well connected network the following steps have already been
implemented:
1) A lawsuit for your numerous unfair and unsafe labor practices and work conditions has
been drafted.
2) A press release, along with a copy of this letter, have been sent to local and national
media.
3) We have created social channels to connect directly with customers and inform them of
the reprehensible work conditions we are enduring.
4) We have filed health and safety reports with local government bodies detailing the
extensive issues we are faced with at the Springs location.
5) We have informed Disney Springs leadership of our position relating to the above, and
below in this letter.
In all cases, these competent bodies are awaiting our word. If the demands listed herein are not
satisfied immediately, we will, in tandem with the above, begin a campaign to inform the world
of your numerous transgressions, filing lawsuits and media coverages exposing you and the
Company for the shill that it is, and we will not stop until the Bakehouse bakes no more.
We should also mention that should any attempt be made to retaliate against us, including
termination, reducing our hours, benefits, or taking other pervasive actions against any Gideons
employee, will promptly result in our bringing legal class-action.
The time has come for you, our leaders, to actually lead. This means spending money where
money must be spent, and making the following operational changes, so that we can all continue
to exist in harmony, and not feel like we’re trapped on an 1800’s plantation- working for the big
house.
1) Communication- How dare you drag the entire workforce to a 9AM meeting,
demanding our presence, and then talk directly at us with the most mundane drivel we’ve
ever heard. Everything dictated today could have been very well sent as an email-
especially when you did not allow for any discussion between us, the workers who
actually make your business run, and the disconnected upper-management who are hell
bent on implementing misguided and inefficient policies. Do not call us in for a
mandatory meeting again when the points can be covered in an email, unless you intend
to open the floor for actual conversation and listen to what we have to say.
2
To that end, since our voices were silenced this morning, we demand the following:
● Cold Brew- We will not adopt the ‘bartender’ shaking style of preparing the cold
brew drinks. When we have 10+ beverages queuing to be made, shaking each
drink 10 times will severely impact our ability to be efficient. This is but one
example of Steve’s desire to have ‘form over function’. We understand there may
be a ‘look’ you’re going for, but when it compromises our ability to efficiently
perform our function, we refuse. We demand to be allowed to resume our ‘stir
stick’ preparation immediately.
● Point System/ Order Accuracy- Under no circumstance should Management take
the side of the Guest over the word of the employee. Too often we see guests
complain that an order was incorrect, and Management issues a point to an
employee. This must stop immediately. We demand you implement a ‘please
check your screen for order accuracy’ procedure where the guest confirms their
order before they pay, and remove the ‘point’ system. If the guest confirms the
order, it reduces the possibility for an inaccurate order.
● Inconsistent/ Inaccurate menu boards and Social Postings- The inside Menu
Board has been outdated for nearly two years. It must be updated immediately to
remove items we no longer sell (IE Coke Products) and ingredient offerings (IE
Banana WALNUT). By correctly labeling the items, it reduces the stress on us in
having to confirm that certain items have nuts, or not being yelled at by guests
who are disgruntled that we no longer sell Coke products. Further, there are
multiple social media inaccuracies when describing new products (IE peanut
butter buttercream, VS the actual peanut butter cream cheese). These inaccurate
product descriptions hurt the brand, and cause confusion with the guests when
they come to order these products. Also the new umbrellas are not UV resistant;
therefore any mention of them ‘protecting you from the sun’ is false, and may
result in legal action from guests. We demand you only post accurate descriptions
to the website/ social media to avoid further guest/ employee confrontation.
● HR- Given the fact that Cynthia engaged in using racial slurs during the May 6th
meeting, referring to guests as gypsies and hoodlums, we demand her firing and
removal immediately. Multiple members of staff were deeply offended by the
hurtful stereotypes that Cynthia perpetuated, and we no longer have any trust in
her ability to lead this organization, especially from a HR perspective, when she
herself seems to harbor unfair and demeaning racial views.
● Management- We cannot express with limited words the level of dissatisfaction
we maintain for Drew. The staff, in our entirety, have never dealt with such
incompetent, slothful, and wasteful behavior. Drew consistently stays on his
phone, refusing to help the team accomplish any of their tasks, and barely exudes
a modicum of effort through his rare action of helping build cake boxes or taking
out trash before disembarking on a break (which none us other managers/leads are
3
cookie king, bringing in circa $40,000 per day, affording you a life of luxury, and not
fairly compensate the employees that are making Gideons everything that it is. The
cookies are good, but make no mistake, as was stated during the May 6th meeting, the
customers come for us. I can’t imagine what they’ll say when they learn about the
slave-like conditions in which we work, especially with Auntie Anne’s earning $18 per
hour + tips.
3) Hours- Part time is up to 30 hours per week, full time is 30 hours or more. We must have
a guaranteed number of hours per week, pending our availability. For example, if a
full-time employee has open availability, they must be scheduled for 40 hours. If a
part-time person has open availability, they must be scheduled for up to 30 hours per
week. This is to ensure we have a stable and uniform weekly income, guaranteed by our
base pay and consistent hours.
4) On Call- All shifts that are ‘on- call’ must be guaranteed a full 8 hour shift, regardless if
the employee is called into work or not. We clear our day and make ourselves available to
cover the Company, and we demand to be compensated a full 8 hours ($16 per hour) for
the flexibility to suit the Company’s needs.
5) Pay Protection- In the event that the store is closed for any reason, employees currently
scheduled to be working during the closure must receive all payment for the shifts they
were scheduled for. If the AC goes out again, and we’re down for several days, those of
us scheduled must receive full compensation for shifts as scheduled.
3) Health & Safety- While it seems that Gideon’s is based primarily on the ‘cool factor’ in how
our processes look from a customer perspective, we are still a fully functioning kitchen and retail
location with a haphazard health and safety process, at best.
To ensure a properly safe workplace and customer experience, we demand the following changes
immediately:
1) Shorts/ Heat Safety Prevention- We’ve been told time and time again that the ‘Disney
Contract’ we cannot wear shorts. After having multiple conversations with Disney
Springs leadership and the Unite Here 362 representatives, we have come to understand
that a change in uniform can be initiated by amendment. No longer can the ‘look’ of
something overpower the safety of us. In terms of being outside in the sunlight and heat,
we demand that the contract be amended immediately to account for a uniform change,
thus allowing us to wear shorts within the next five days. It is dangerous for us to be
outside in the heat and sunlight during high-heat (more than 70 degrees fahrenheit) days,
wearing all black and long pants. We are unwilling to compromise our personal health
and safety to appease your ‘style guide’ insisting on long pants, but we’re happy to
maintain a look via style guide for shorts. In addition, we have seen multiple large/
battery operated fans in use around Disney property, keeping other Cast cool during these
heat waves. We demand that large fans are procured and placed in strategic outside
5
locations within the next 5 days, so that we may have respite during high temp days. The
cooling towels and neck fans you have provided are ineffective.
2) Egress- We bakers are trapped. There is no second means of fire egress from the kitchen,
and should a fire or other disaster occur with the ovens, we would be trapped and unable
to escape. We demand you add in additional egress from the bakery, into the outside
alley. We understand this will require planning and stairs, however, planning must be
commenced immediately. We will not work in an unsafe environment, and with no place
to escape in the event of an emergency, we will be burned alive.
3) Handicap accessibility- Our retail location does not comply with ADA mobility
standards. The counters must be moved to allow an employee who utilizes a wheelchair
or other mobility device the proper space to move behind the counters and throughout the
kitchen. While yes, a wheelchair will ‘fit’, they will be unable to properly move. We are
discriminating against hiring ADA employees due to the way the store is currently
overcrowded and built. We demand proper spacing be added within the next 90 days.
4) Safety Training & Procedures- As of right now Operations have not developed any safety
or training procedures relating to fire, bomb threat, active shooter, lighting/ rain, accident
or other hazard. We are provided with no training in the event of any of these
emergencies, and we are all woefully unprepared with a common knowledge of how to
address emergency situations. We demand that a safety plan be developed and provided
to each of us in writing, and that we receive sufficient training of the new procedures
within 14 days.
5) Sanitation- Our baking sheets never get cleaned. We demand that you hire an outside
vendor to pick up used equipment nightly at close, and deliver a clean set at the same
time, so that we may rotate clean equipment daily. It is too large a task for us to wash in
house, and this needs to be automated for us. Our current sanitation procedure is
inadequate to ensure proper health and safety standards.
6) Bathroom breaks- Many of us suffer from various biological disabilities that force
frequent trips to the restroom. We simply cannot ‘hold it’ until we’re on break. IF we
need to go to the restroom, we must be immediately accommodated to do so without
repercussions. While this is not common, it does happen, and must be allowed.
6
Demand Timeline:
May 11th- Cold Brew BartendeShaking preparation is disbanded, stir stick preparation is
reimplemented.
May 11th- Cynthia is terminated immediately for using racial slurs during a company meeting.
May 11th- Drew is demoted as manager immediately for failure to act as a leader, and help his
team, undergoing an immense retraining before he is reinstated.
May 12th- All employees earn a base rate of $16 + tip share.
May 12th- An automatic/ mandatory 7.5% gratuity is placed on all guest orders.
May 12th- All ‘on call’ shifts will be guaranteed a full 8 hours ($16 p/h), regardless of working
or not.
May 12th- Lead/ Trainer pay to increase to at least $19 per hour when training, and $18 per hour
at all other times + tip share.
May 11th- Planning for additional egress to begin. Must be fully installed and operational no
later than June 20th, 2024.
May 17th- A $1,200 bonus is paid to all employees who worked during the last three pay
periods. This bonus covers the lower wages suffered from the ‘no tip’ asking policy.
May 13th- Schedules to be created, guaranteeing all ‘part-time’ employees up to 30 hours per
week based on employee availability, and ‘full-time’ employees at least 40 hours per week,
based on employee availability.
May 14th- Commercial grade fans outside submitted for approval to Disney, installed upon
approval.
May 15th- Shorts implemented for all workers, all shifts, when the outside temperature is more
than 70 degrees fahrenheit.
May 14th- Sanitation company must be contracted to pick up used baking sheets nightly, and a
second set of baking sheets to be procured to ensure sufficient sanitation of products in direct
contact with food.
May 24th- All health & safety procedures will be drafted and provided to all employees in
writing, with in-person training to occur with all employees. New hires shall receive the new
procedures and same in person training as a part of their onboarding.
August 4th- Handicap/ADA compliance. The store and kitchen must be rearranged/ decluttered
to allow for the hiring of mobility device users, including wheelchairs, to comply with ADA
layout requirements.
7
While the above demands only scratch a portion of the hazardous operational procedures, we are
confident that should they all be addressed and the solutions we have demanded are implemented
within the allotted timelines, we can avoid a disastrous fallout and continue to work together to
ensure Gideons remains a successful operation.
We understand that this will most likely come as a shock, not less because ownership and
operations seem to be blissfully unaware of the vast deterioration, but moreover, the inane
procedural overhauls implemented in today’s meeting simply reek of disconnection to the reality
of the process, and will only serve to further delay and complicate the already struggling
operation.
It is time to see beyond all of the narcissistic ‘it looks cool, so we’re going to do it my way’
absurdity, and recognize that the above demands come from your soldiers on the frontlines. A
tough pill to swallow, but it is medicine critical to survival, nevertheless. We further recommend
that all upper management leadership work at least one eight hour, front of house shift per six
months, to ensure they remain fully connected and relevant.
We must issue a final word of warning: should this letter be ignored, or any of the above
demands are not implemented, or any retaliatory action be taken, it will be met with the most
severe consequences.
We know that you are amassing a fortune, and all we Ghosts ask for is a fair wage, a safe and
comfortable working environment, and to be treated with dignity and respect.
We’d hate for the adoring public to learn of any other reality. This is your one, final, opportunity
to make it right.
We look forward to your prompt email reply confirming your plan of action to comply with our
demands herein.
In Solidarity,
The Ghosts of Gideons.

Following up on on my latest post TLDR: had failed a hysterectomy in February and second surgery was successful.
34 y/o, high BMI, stage IV endo, suspected adeno, (not confirmed in biopsy)dense adhesions and scarring. Had my LAVH, robotic assisted on May 7th. I found a super compassionate doctor who reassured me and gave me hope after I lost it when my first surgery had to be aborted. Surgery went better than expected, with no complications. It took about 6 hours and took forever for me to wake up. I went home the day of the procedure, only took oxy twice and been managing pain with over the counter meds and gabapentin before bed. Hot water bottles and heating pads. Bloating is annoying, I am lonely and bored but I am happy to be done with it. I felt immediate relief, pain peaked on day 2 - gas pain is no joke. I wanted to thank this community for the advice and support provided, it has been crucial for my journey and I am grateful 💗
My hysterectomy was the culmination of more than 13 years of seeking relief from my discomforts that only worsened over time.
It started with anemia on the verge of blood transfusion that had no explanation other than hypermenorrhea. Each menstrual cycle became more tortuous with the passage of time, heavy bleeding, clots, leg cramps, lumbar pain and chronic fatigue.
I will have seen more than a dozen gynecologists and various doctors.
Blood studies, ultrasounds, resonances, endometrial biopsies, colonoscopy, contraceptives, hormonal IUD that ruined my mental health, I tried absolutely everything. I even went to the middle of the Amazon rainforest to seek relief in the medicine used by the Shipibo people.
I came out of many consultations crying, medical gaslighting and gordophobia were 98% of my experience.
They sent me to the psychiatrist because my pain seemed to have no other explanation than to be psychological.
Since I knew about endometriosis I KNEW that surely it was what happened to me, but finding a doctor who would take me seriously and believe me cost so much. It cost time, money, energy, tears, mental health, putting the body.
First they confirmed fibroids, then suspicion of adenomyosis (waiting confirmation of the biopsy), in February I was operated on for 3 hours without being able to remove my uterus due to the intensity of the adhesions and the advanced endometriosis (phase 4 that was confirmed in said failed surgery)
I had my second operation with a specialist and an interdisciplinary team of gynecologists, urologists and general surgeons.
They took out my uterus, cervix and fallopian tubes. The uterus was attached to the abdominal wall, bladder, intestines and basically everything around it. They drained cysts in the ovaries that I keep. I was cleaned of endometriosis of the sacrous ligaments and mainly of the bladder that was very compromised. They took adhesions from me and I'm sure I forget more.
I feel like I was born again and although this disease is chronic and has no cure, I already hope to see improvements and have a better quality of life, make up for lost time ❤️‍🩹 I can’t wait to see if I can ride a bike again.
Now slowly recovering and feeling very emotional and tired, otherwise happy and excited for my new healing era.
Will include surgery notes, biopsy report and pictures for the curious ones, Hope everyone is having a lovely pre surgery or recovery journey, it’s not easy, but we got this 💪 we are stronger and more resilient than we give ourselves credit for, we fight relentlessly and we show up for each other, our bodies are amazing and can do incredibly things. Sending lots of love your way, internet strangers ✨ 💗
Surgery notes:
Surgery
Findings: Laparoscopy: Smooth diaphragmatic peritoneal surfaces and liver without gross lesion. No injury under site of injury at umbilicus and no umbilical adhesions. Intraabdominal adhesions in the right lower quadrant at the site of prior appendectomy, with bowel and omentum adherent to the right abdominal sidewall. Once this omentum and bowel was taken down, there was a divot with a small amount of fat seen in the RUQ. Dr. Kim evaluated this did not require intervention. Similarly, no clear indirect R inguinal hernia seen without bowel and omentum involved, so Dr. Kim similarly did not recommend intervention. Omentum, bladder adherent to the lower uterine segment anteriorly. Extensive pelvic adhesions and evidence of endometriosis. Thickening of the bladder peritoneum and tacked up to lower uterine segment. Fallopian tubes and ovaries adhered to pelvic side wall, with left hematosalpinx noted in the setting of tortuous left tube. R ovary with small ~1cm functional-appearing cyst. L ovary with hemorrhagic ~2-3cm cyst. Rectum free, no posterior adhesions but extensive serosal endometriosis between the uterosacral ligament and on R posterior serosa overlying R uterosacral. Due to the ICG and use of firefly technology, the course of the ureters were well visualized. Procedure Details: After discussion of risks, benefits and alternatives to the procedure, written consent was obtained. The patient was brought to the operating room. The patient was positioned in the dorsal lithotomy position in yellowfin stirrups with arms padded and tucked at her sides. An exam under anesthesia was performed with findings as noted above. Urology completed a cystoscopy (no endometriosis) and placed ureteral stents with ureteral indocyanine green dye placement. See their operative note for further details. The cervix was dilated with tonsil forceps. Paracervical block was placed. The Rumi uterine manipulator with medium Koh ring was secured to the cervix. A Foley catheter was placed to drain the bladder intraoperatively. A 0.8 cm incision was made at the umbilicus, kocher used to elevate the fascia, and a Veress needle was inserted. Intraperitoneal placement was confirmed. The abdomen was insufflated until an adequate dome was achieved. A 8 mm robotic port was placed and the robotic scope was inserted. Under direct visualization, 3 additional ports were placed, two 8 mm robotic ports to the right of the umbilicus and one 8 mm robotic port to the left of the umbilicus. The patient was placed on steep Trendelenburg and the bowels were swept into the upper abdomen. The Da Vinci robot was then docked in position. The filmy adhesions in the RUQ were taken down with combination of cautery and sharp technique. The omentum was taken down off of the uterine fundus with bipolar and monopolar cautery. The left fallopian tube was followed out to the fimbria. The salpingectomy was then performed, starting at the distal fimbriated end of the tube and sequentially coagulating and transecting the mesosalpinx adjacent to the fallopian tube and well away from the ovary. The fallopian tube was left attached at the cornua. The procedure was repeated on the contralateral side. Good hemostasis was noted. The bladder was noted to be densely scarred to the LUS/cervical junction. The junction was incised with monopolar cautery and the bladder was meticulous dissected off of the underlying uterus/cervix to the level of the KOH ring as marked cephlad traction was placed on the Rumi device. Due to the anterior compartment scarring, round ligaments were not clearly identified. The thickened tissue in this area was grasped, cauterized with bipolar and divided with monopolar. Both ureters were seen using firefly technology. The left utero-ovarian ligament was ligated with bipolar cautery and divided with monopolar. The same procedure was performed on the right side. Marked cephlad traction was applied to the KOH ring. The uterine vessels on either side were skeletonized and ligated with bipolar cautery. The remainder of the cardinal and parametrial attachments were ligated with bipolar and divided with monopolar. The vagina was opened over the Colpo device circumferentially. The fibrotic uterosacral ligaments with overlying endometriosis was incised below the implants and fibrosis, taking care to avoid the ureters. The endometriotic implants over the right uterosacral ligaments were excised. The uterus and fallopian tubes were then removed through the vagina. Given the extensive adhesions and fibrosis, this portion of the surgery took an additional 60 minutes longer than expected. After that, the vaginal occluder was placed into the vagina to maintain the pneumoperitoneum. Dr. Kim then came to assess the inguinal hernia. He deemed no intervention was necessary for the R inguinal hernia or the RUQ divot. The functional ovarian cyst in the R ovary was drained. The 2 cm hemorrhagic ovarian cyst in the L ovary was felt to represent hemorrhagic corpus luteum. Two <1cm nodules on the R uterosacral were excised using cautery, taking care to avoid the right ureter. The vaginal cuff was closed using 0 V-lock in a running fashion in 2 layers . The area was irrigated, and hemostasis was evident. All instruments were then removed under direct visualization. The skin was closed with 4-0 Biosyn . Sterile dressings and Tegaderm were applied to all port sites. The ureteral stents were removed and inspected by urology and noted to be intact. A foley catheter was placed for routine voiding trial in PACU. Sponge and needle counts were correct times x2. The patient tolerated the procedure well and went to the recovery room in stable condition. There were no complications to the case.
Pathology:
Final Diagnosis A) Uterus, cervix, bilateral fallopian tubes, hysterectomy and salpingectomy: - Myometrium with leiomyoma. - Serosal/subserosal endometriosis. - Early secretory endometrium, negative for neoplasm. - Bilateral fallopian tubes and cervix negative for neoplasm. B) Peritoneum, right utero-sacral, biopsy: - Fibrotic squamous epithelium-lined tissue with scattered lymphocytic inflammation. - Negative for neoplasm and no definite endometriosis. Clinical Information Pre-op diagnosis: Adenomyosis [N80.03] Dysmenorrhea [N94.6] Menorrhagia with regular cycle [N92.0] Pelvic peritoneal adhesions, female [N73.6]
Gross Description A. Uterus, with or without tubes and ovaries, other than neoplastic/prolapse. Received fresh labeled, "Goni, Jimena; 1)Uterus,cervix,bilateral tubes" is a uterus with attached bilateral fallopian tubes.. The uterus alone is 105 g, 9.5 cm cervix to fundus by 6.0 cm cornu to cornu by 5.0 cm anterior to posterior. The cervix is 3.3 cm long by 3.0 cm diameter with a 0.6 cm diameter os. The ectocervix has punctate areas of hemorrhage. The serosa has scant fibrous adhesions anteriorly and extensive cautery and disruption posteriorly. The endometrium is ragged, hemorrhagic, 0.1-0.4 cm thick. The myometrium is up to 2.6 cm thick and is mildly trabeculated with cysts up to 0.1 cm greatest dimension filled with hemorrhagic material, suggestive of adenomyosis. There is a 0.2 cm diameter intramural well-circumscribed nodule with a whorled cut surface. No areas of softening are identified. The right fallopian tube is slightly serpentine, congested, 5.3 cm long by 0.5-0.6 cm diameter and has attached hemorrhagic fimbria. The left tube is 5.0 cm long by 0.5-0.6 cm diameter, purple-tan with attached hemorrhagic fimbria. Representative sections are submitted: A1-anterior cervix A2-posterior cervix A3-anterior endomyometrium A4-A5-posterior endomyometrium with possible adenomyosis (A4 with leiomyoma) A6-right fallopian tube and entire fimbria A7-left fallopian tube tube, entire fimbria. (MUA) B. Soft tissue, OTHER. Received in formalin labeled, "Goni, Jimena; 2)right utero-sacral biopsy" are 2 tan red rubbery tissue fragments, 0.7 and 1.0 cm, that are entirely submitted in B1. (AA) Case Report Value Surgical Pathology Report Case: SU24-15696 Authorizing Provider: Chiang, Seine, MD Collected: 05/07/2024 03:42 PM Ordering Location: UWMC Main Operating Room Received: 05/07/2024 05:21 PM Pathologist: Garcia, Rochelle Lorraine, MD Specimens: A) - Uterus, with or without tubes and ovaries, other than neoplastic/prolapse, 1)Uterus,cervix,bilateral tubes B) - Soft tissue, OTHER, 2)right utero-sacral biopsy
Surgery pics

I'm really grateful that i found this subreddit. I feel for the first time i can relate to people who go through the same what I'm going through.
I had an accident and fractured my skull when i was 8 i'm 36 now, i was paralyzed and was out for 3 weeks.
Having a tbi at that age i don't remember how i was before and for my family in their eyes i just got a bit quieter but nothing was alarming. the Dr said i was fine based on scans.
I've been struggling and suffering fitting it as i never thought it has anything to do with tbi and having it at that age i just grew with it and became my reality.. I had troubles with friendships even up until now i don't hang out with friends that often and when i do i keep it short because i have extreme light sensitivity and sensory overload and the more i hang out the more my brain shuts down.. looking back at times where i hung out in bright indoors places and my brain was shut, i couldn't talk, think or walk the i beat my self up when someone see me in that state.. i beat my self up everyday and asking what the fuck is wrong with me ..I kept pushing till i got my bachelors degree in engineering 2.4 gpa but no complaints lol. Then tried to work with my degree but anywhere i worked it would be bright factories and i just froze, i gave it a year then i got fired.. Didn't have the gut to tell my mom at that point as she was pushing me to work as my father just passed away, i couldn't take it i needed a fresh start i came to the USA 10 years ago. I got MBA then married then opend a buisness then had a daughter. I knew no one would hire me and i worked day and night not to let the opportunity go away as it was all what i got. Business grew buti couldn't scale it as i should as i struggled to communicate with employees and it never went past me and my wife.
During high school till 2020 i'f take bunch of different things, when i was young i took a lot of weed and alcohol which did help but later in my 20's my body couldn't take it as i became borderline alcoholic and got terrible hang over from both weed and alcohol. Took ton of caffeine, aspirin, advil and Tylenol till got ulcer then my body couldn't take it anymore.
2020 i finally started to come around that i have to go to to see a neurologist. immediately i was told i was diagnosed disabled. . got prescribed 4 medicines in the course of a year and left me like a crack head. till at the end gave me botox and i found mushroom micro dose to get me off the medicine and both helped a lot. i still take Botox 4 times a year up until now.
2022 had my first mushroom trip and i finally got out of this delusional denial self hate pattern and finally with conviction admitted that have something wrong me me and i'm not normal compared to others, i cried for couple of hours during the trip.
Took 4 trips in the course of last 2 years, i really helped me to adapt with my condition and find way to better my life for me and my family but still wasn't sure if it was the tbi 100% up until i found this group and i started relating. While the trip was so insightful i still having a hard times after all of those years to accept myself, still beat my self up over a hang out where people see me acting different from them. I'm going through therapy but i feel they don't get it and was hoping for tips from you guys.
Thank you for you time and sorry for the long post:)

(This is a rewrite of my other post where I wrote a fic that featured Jn riding south with Robb instead of joining the NW)
Here's how the story goes. After Ned and the royal party leave, Jon leaves Winterfell also, and goes to some other place in the North besides the Wall. Like Last Hearth, Bear Island, or White Harbor. But when the news of Ned's arrest spreads through the realm and Robb calls the banners, he travels back to Winterfell and marches south with Robb.
When they cross over the Neck and meet up with Cat, she and Jon will probably avoid each other, but the betrothal at the Twins happens all the same. Eventually, the battle of the Whispering Wood happens all the same, but with Jon and Ghost fighting right alongside Robb and Greywind. Jaime is captured all the same, they get the news that Ned was killed and Robb is still crowned KITN.
As the war goes on, Jon becomes Robb's right-hand man and receives some glory for himself. The singers begin singing about the Young Wolf and his brother the White Wolf. Terrorizing the Lannisters, fighting to avenge their father. Later on, when Robb announces his intention to send Theon away to treat with his father, Jon tries to convince him not to, but Rob has made up his mind and sends Theon away.
Robb gives Jon the task of watching Jaime since he absolutely trusts him, so Cat won't get to release him in this AU. When Jon accompanies Robb in the Westerlands, he takes part in the battle at the Crag. After the battle, they soon learn of the deaths of Bran and Rickon and the sack of Winterfell. In his grief Robb sleeps with Jeyne Westerling, soon after, he feels obligated to marry her. Jon is against it and they have a heated argument, an argument that results in Robb sending Jon back up North to retake the North from the Ironborn. After some difficulty getting past Moat Cailin, Jon finally makes it in the North and arrives to find the castle sacked. But deep down, he still has hope that his brother might still be alive out there somewhere, so he and his soldiers start to search for any survivors and begin repairing Winterfell. And also start chasing the Ironborn out of the North. He also hears reports from the NW about an army of Wildings amassing in force.
Back down south, Robb, who has just married Jeyne Westerling receives word that Sansa was married to the Imp. After realizing that Jon was right about everything, and after judging the lack of heirs he has, he decides to legitimize Jon and make him his heir. Cat is totally against this and even goes as far as to accuse Jon of killing the boys. This of course angers Robb to the point where he shouts at her and declares that until he has a son, Jon is the heir to Winterfell. Except this time, it's made publically known.
Things still go the way they do in canon. Robb still dies at the Twins, and Roose is still declared Warden of the North and marches up North to solidify his new status. However, with Jon up there, and having been legitimized as Jon Stark, things are more complicated for him now. When Jon finds out about Robb's death, he grieves for a long time and swears vengeance against Roose Bolton. This will become a full-on Northern civil war.
So, between chasing the Ironborn to of the North, dealing with the traitorous Boltons, and reports of a wilding army marching on the wall, Jon is gonna have his hands pretty full. I can see this being labeled, The War for the North.
(Edit) As a bonus, after taking back Deepwood Motte from the Ironborn, Jon goes to the Gift to deal with the Wildlings, and he treats with Mance Rayder. After some negotiating, they come to an agreement, in exchange for being allowed to settle somewhere in the Gift, Mance and the Wildlings must aid Jon and his crew in defeating the Boltons. Jon just needs to get the other Northerners on board, which will be hard, but not impossible since he'll take hostages to ensure the Wildling's loyalty.
After one of the battles, Jon might need the "comfort" of a girl's company, since he is still a horny teenager, and those campaigns do get pretty lonely. So he spots a certain ginger-haired, arrow-shooting girl in the Wildling camp and "steals her".
Concubine Ygritte anyone?

A lot has progressed in the past couple of days and it would be only right to update you guys on what happened and get some advice from you guys regarding everything. but to answer multiple questions I received from my last post about why hasn’t maya been further punished. to put it quite simply Maya was arrested the night of Lia’s attack. She was charged with felony child endangerment & 2 misdemeanors. The judge was very nice to her and made her pay a 2,000$ fine, 60 hours of community service & 3 years probation. plus I took her car but after this update, I maybe should have given her a harsher punishment. but back to the update. TL;DR at the bottom.
On Thursday afternoon, me and maya got into a fight. The dispute happened because Lia came to me virtually upset and on the verge of tears. because 5 people messaged her that day, expressing condolences about her attack. Lia has been very clear she doesn’t want anyone that she knows to know that she was the victim of the attack. upon further investigation it turns out Maya told a group chat of 27 people that Lia was the victim. Lia vocalized to me how humiliated she feels and that she can’t ever go back to school next year. I of course then go confront Maya about it. she kept saying I was overacting and that Lia was being dramatic. I tried to reason with her to see how she hurt her sister and she did not see the issue. She stopped me off mid-lecture from me and said, “ jesus christ Mom, you need to let her deal with this shit instead of always rushing to her defense, lia is not different from other women in the world that deal with rape, at least they don’t make it their entire personality like she does. also, she’s fine I literally overheard her talk to a boy on the phone last night.” It just clicked for me at that moment that she was not actually remorseful at all and that I just witnessed her mask slip. I just responded with pack your shit up and that she will be staying with my parents until I allow her back. That’s exactly what she did.
but the next morning I got a text from Maya to meet her at her therapist appointment that was later that day. looking back I wish I had never gone because her therapist majority of the visit only saw her POV, But At the start of the appointment, it opened up with Maya apologizing and explaining her thought process of why she told her friends and it was because she was venting, plus she didn’t think of it as a big deal because its public case that was on the news and lia seems fine these days… (Lia is listed as a Jane Doe and not named nowhere but I digress. )
we then get into the nitty-gritty of it all, Maya then tells me in front of the therapist that she feels emotionally neglected by me and that I never seem to care about her trauma when it came to the situation. which is for her is having to stay in jail for a weekend and loosing one of her friends ( which is one of Lia’s literal rapist. ) I wish I can say I’m joking but I’m dead serious. we were talking about that for the first 30 minutes. her therapist was guilt-tripping me for not being more emotionally there for Maya and that I should try to see as her mom since their father is no longer with us. But Call me an awful parent but I don’t want to be emotionally there for Maya if it involves me having to help her mourn the friendship of the person that ruined her sister’s life. The therapist was on one especially since she kept referring to what happened to Lia as an accident or that Lia seems happier these days because that’s what Maya has been telling her, when Lia is quite literally high off antidepressants and still scores extremely low on the mental health evaluation…but I finally just had an outburst, (feel free to skip over the next paragraph, because there is a massive trigger warning, I get very graphic here. But I’m just reiterating what I said. )
what I said to both Maya and her therapist was, “ I think it’s kinda disgusting that the two of you are refusing to acknowledge Lia’s trauma in this and keep referring to it as an accident. You spent a weekend in jail, while your sister was in the hospital suffering from something YOUR friend did to her. Ironically enough if you ever listened to Lia, she has said that friend of yours was the most violent towards her during the attack and was the catalyst for the majority of injuries she sustained including strangling her. So for you guys to sit here and berate me for not caring that you lost your friend because of something terrible your friend did to your sister is absolutely disgusting. My biggest regret right now is helping you obtain a lawyer I should have let you rot in that cell and let you figure it out yourself. “
Maya started sobbing in the office at this point and saying it wasn’t fair that I blamed her for what happened to Lia, she told me the only thing she was trying to do was have Lia come out of her shell because she kept hovering next to her at the party. The therapist then interjects and asks Maya how did Lia respond to her when she apologized. Maya in such a defensive manner says, “apologize for what? I didn’t rape her”. Even the therapist was shocked when she said that and at that point, I heard enough and l stood up, threw my hands up, and left. I haven’t spoken to Maya since then and this was Friday afternoon.
Maya has been texting me and calling me begging to come home so she can apologize to both me and Lia. But I don’t know at this point, I never thought I would be that parent that will have to go no contact with my daughter. But I don’t know if I can stomach being around her, I can’t trust her and she’s not remorseful whatsoever about what happened. A part of me wants to try to make it work for the sake of Lia because she asked yesterday if she ruined our family. And that broke my heart. Lia loves and looks up to Maya and I don’t think she can comprehend at this time that Maya also failed her. I’m just stuck or tell me if I’m wrong for not understanding maya I’m sorry for the not-so-happy update..
TL;DR: Maya got kicked out from the house after she exposed Lia for being a victim in her group chat with friends and we then went to her therapist appointment together, where it was just a lot of gaslighting and them trying to hold me accountable for not being emotionally there for maya which involves me not feeling bad that she lost her friend that was one of Lia’s rapist or didn’t care enough she went to jail. By the end of the session, Maya vocalized she didn’t think she needed to apologize to Lia and showed zero remorse. I’m on the verge of going no contact with her.

MAT246 (Concepts in Abstract Mathematics) is a proof-based course in number and set theory.
TLDR: The course is irrationally structured and poorly taught. Make extensive use of the textbook and chatGPT as they are better at explaining the material than the prof.
This is a very long review but I think it will prove useful to future students of this course.
Structure:
When I took the course, both sections followed the same syllabus, which was set out by Soheil. The structure of the course was terrible and bizarre. The course is out of 108% meaning it has 8% bonus marks, but according to the syllabus itself, more can be arbitrarily added without notice, at the prof’s whim. For example, after the low scores of the first test, a quiz was administered during the last twenty minutes of a tutorial (this quiz was never mentioned in the syllabus) and the quiz was counted as a bonus, with a 10% weight to the final test mark. Such a boon was not given after the second test. There is also an 800 word essay due at the end of the course worth 4%. It is does not have a rubric and can receive bonus marks for “thoughtful responses”. As the course progressed, weekly assignments had increasingly more bonus marks. In the problem sets, some questions were not worth any marks while others were bonus, and it was not known what questions counted for what prior to receiving the set back. In addition to bonuses, this course is known for curbing grades. These two features are mentioned in some reviews as positives: they in fact should be viewed as a tacit admission of the prof’s inability to create an objective, upfront grading scheme, where marks are not adjusted or added according to class performance, caprice or whatever else.
Lectures:
In two words: confusing and useless. Soheil constantly made analogies with math concepts to real world things which were unnecessary and convoluted (he once compared the expansion of the rationales with field extensions to the fact that, after 9/11 it was discovered that the area underneath was once on water, thus the land was “expanded”). Mostly, the lectures consisted of him reading from the textbook, adding some contorted explanation or analogy. He was often ungrammatical and it was difficult to understand what exactly he meant by what he said. Also, ge was sometimes passive aggressive in his Piazza responses.
After each lecture there is a quiz. For me, this was terribly inopportune as I had to do it at 8pm while rushing to catch the train. Similarly, other students had to commute, possibly without wifi. I found the timing of these quizzes to be very inconsiderate toward the students.
Soheil stated that the content in the earlier chapters will not follow that of the textbook and that the style of proofs demanded in this course are to be formal whereas the ones in the book are informal. Given this, I at first, avoided using the book which was a grave mistake as it is like the Rosseta stone compared to the lectures which are like Sumerian cuneiform.
And I feel that Soheil gave misleading advice on how to study and learn. He rarely took up problems or proofs in the lectures (and few were done in tutorials), which, as I came to learn, is a major failure give that this course is introductory and a major part of math is repeated problem solving. He emphasized rote memorization of many theorems and lemmas, saying that tests mostly require "passive knowledge" when in fact only two or three theorems were relevant and needed citing.

Advice:
With exception to the first part of the course which does not at all follow the textbook, use the latter for the rest of the course. Invest in chat GPT-4 (or whatever is the current version). It explains the concepts incomparably better than the prof and can help in understanding proofs (by giving it a screenshot/picture of the textbook). I suggest looking over the workbook slides and doing the problems. They do not explain the material well and are often ungrammatical but they will contain any material in the course which is not in the textbook. Use the time during lectures and tutorials to read the textbook and work on problems. It is a much better use of time than carefully listening to the prof. Perhaps check in time to time to make sure you are on the right drift. In learning a chapter, I suggest this approach: first taking note of all relevant definitions (this is bedrock of any future knowledge), then read through the lemmas and minor theorems (this helps in learning what a good proof consist of and they may reveal some techniques or tricks), commit to memorize and take note of a major theorem (it is much easier to establish the context of the theorem when you know how its derived than just committing it to memory) and finally, do many problems. It is impossible to over emphasis this. Your motto in mathematics must be: repetitio est mater studiorum. That is, repetition of problem solving. Rote repetition or memorization, is worth little outside of knowing the definitions and major theorems.

I wish you luck in this course. Writing proofs is an excellent way to develop logical thinking skills. This course could really be excellent if only the prof was not this awful (the worst I’ve ever had in fact).

I went through this shocking event 7 years ago and from that I concluded that a certain catastrophic statement was true because of this event happening.. and from that this obsession that I couldn't enjoy X thing (involved in the shocking event) because of the catastrophic statement being true was born.
But now, after going on these hour long walks just listening to my catastrophic statement on loop, thinking well it's true but maybe I can forget about it so I can enjoy X again and just hope it won't happen again... Well I'm realizing that my statement is just faulty logic. Like I was connecting 2 things that weren't connected and thus I can enjoy X without worrying at all.
Of course my OCD does not want me to believe this or keep analyzing the logic of the matter. It's telling me the feelings of fear when I do is because it's not true... And if it was I would be calm. It's telling me I can't enjoy X because it's trying to keep me SAFE. It's telling me the statement is 100% true and always has been but whenever I think logically about it I come up with way more reasons it's faulty.
I believed the statement was true for YEARS and brushed off comments from my therapist and sister implying I made a false conclusion. But I really think the shock and panic made me view things all wrong and my obsession will go away after realizing this in certainty.
I don't care. I'm gonna keep doing exposures to get to the truth. My OCD is saying doing exposures is making me forget that the statement is true because I'm being desensitized. It's saying if I believe the statement was false and the shocking event happens again I will not know how to recover and end up offing myself. But I will still continue my walks.
I don't want to be trapped in what I suspect so highly is a false belief and all of my avoidance is for nothing. It feels so wrong and against my human instinct and is literally painful to not blindly believe the statement. I feel so vulnerable and scared. I feel terror. But I have to fight back. I will not let OCD lock up my potential forever

I’ve been typed in MBTI but as a multitude of different types, and only once by Socionicists before (is that a word?), but was in a very unhealthy mental place then and I’m not sure it was accurate. I've filled out the questionnaire and tried to be thorough, although I think it comes across as rather muddled in some points, so I'm happy to clarify any bits. Thanks in advance for any help or input!
What do you study or do for a living? How did you come to do that? What do you like or dislike about it?

• I study medieval languages and literature and folklore at a PhD level. I came into this somewhat accidentally - I’ve always been interested in history (not solely medieval), but began to specialise a bit more and found I had a knack for picking up several dead languages quite quickly. I always say I came to it by accident, but that sort of downplays how much I love it, and how I’ve been obsessed with history since I was a child.
• I love getting perspectives from the past and thinking about different belief systems, how perspectives on the world have changed diachronically and vary geographically. I want to understand the people of the past, sort of as an example of innate archetypical humanity in incredibly varied contexts. Reading these texts helps me understand people I know, myself, and humanity as a whole better. I also love how varied my day can be - I go to new places each year, I work on different projects each month, and I solve different problems each day.
• I dislike some of the instability surrounding future jobs - although I’m in one of the best departments in the world for this topic, it can be very difficult to get a job post-PhD in academia, something that remains a worry despite not being an imminent problem to solve.

What else do you do on a daily basis? What are your interests and hobbies? Why do you do them?

• I work a lot and my partner says I don’t know how to relax. So a lot of my “hobbies” are doing things like learning extra languages (I recently started German), specifically languages that will be useful for my future studies/work.
• I work out pretty consistently, a mix of strength-training and cardio. I try to keep it even (although I read somewhere that a 60/40 split is optimal, 50/50 is close enough). I do this for a mix of health benefits, stress-relief (possibly could be considered a health benefit) and vanity. I will drop workouts when work becomes too busy though (it’s not priority number one)
• I like rock-climbing and hiking when I can, but I don’t do this daily.
• I plan future travels and work, and I also really like organising social events, but most of that is centred around organising and helping run departmental events at the moment. Despite this, I can be a bit of a shut-in on a day-to-day basis.
• I also play video games as stress relief, if I’ve completed enough stuff in the day. Games like Skyrim, Ghost of Tsushima, etc.
• I also spend a lot of time on reddit reading about various topics related to fantasy novels or videogames, mythology, psychology and psychiatry, various personality-typing systems, true crime (although less into this one than the others) also watch youtube videos about such things.

What are your values, and why?

• I value determination, grit, and intelligence in friends quite a bit, and a sort of “can-do” optimism
• I value inclusivity, I dislike cliquish behaviour.
• I sort of don’t know how to describe this, but I find it annoying when people try to interfere in my work to suit their agenda - I value a sort of friendly “live and let live” mentality.
• Following on that, I value approaching people with an understanding rather than judgmental mindset

Describe your relationships with family and friends. What do you like and dislike about them?

• I am not super hands on with my family - I live on the other side of the world from them - but I do like them, and keep connected electronically and through weekly or fortnightly Skype calls. I sometimes feel that they don’t really understand my interests, but they do care and try to pay attention regardless, and I know they see me as somewhat distant, but they see that as a personality quirk rather than indicative of lack of affection.
• I don’t have a super large friend group at the moment but have in the past. I’m focussing on quality over quantity at the moment, after spending a lot of time working in nightlife earlier in my life and having the massive social circles.
• I appreciate that my friends are intelligent, passionate, well-travelled and ambitious people.
• I struggle sometimes when friends don’t take me into account when I have done so for them, and I also sometimes find people a bit too caught up in their own worldviews and concerns without seeing what (to me) is the bigger community picture. I also really dislike when people try to apply moral pressure on me (that I have to care about a cause or I’m a bad person, etc.). I also find it frustrating when I’m the sole organiser of events or meet-ups.

What do you look for in friends? In romantic relationships?

• This was somewhat answered above, but I also enjoy outgoing and warm people, and people who I think I can rely upon. I try to take people as they come, though, and have had all sorts of friends.
• In romantic relationships, I like when people are ambitious, determined, and intelligent but also kind and passionate people. I like them to have a level of overlapping interests with me (my partner is also a medieval scholar, but works more with artefacts and museum work).

What conflicts have you encountered recently with other people? Why did they happen? Which kinds seem to happen on a regular basis?

• I can be accidentally rude at times without realising, and also can be a bit dismissive of views I think are dumb, sometimes hastily so.
• I can over-explain or simply talk too much or over-theorise
• I can be a bit of a people-pleaser
• A recent conflict was my trying to organise a departmental event and the other graduate students not contributing or seeing the larger picture of how that would help our department as a community, which I got very frustrated by.

What are your strengths? What do people like about you? What do you like about yourself?

• I work really hard
• I try to create opportunities not just for myself but for those around me. I think we (not the whole world, obviously, but those around me) can all succeed.
• I am thorough in everything and don’t really half-ass stuff.
• I am pretty friendly and always up for a chat or to be a shoulder to cry on, and am pretty nonjudgmental (one friend says I always try to attribute other’s actions to a positive motive)

What are your weaknesses? What criticism do you often face from others? What do you dislike about yourself?

• I can be impatient and don’t know how to relax/wait for things.
• Sometimes I can come across as weird or intense, and I wish I was better at toning that down and relating to people
• I get pretty insecure about what people think of me at times, and wish I was a little better or more confident there.
• I take on too much work - I have been called an “arbeidsoptimist” before
• Sometimes I can be overly conflict-avoidant - I’ll get frustrated by people, but try to work around that.
• I can be a bit hesitant about making decisions
• I have a moderately murky sense of self - hence the need for a typing questionnaire and struggles with self-typing
• When stressed, I catastrophise a lot, and can have quite a lot of anxiety about not living up to my potential or failing at the things I am working on.

In what areas of life can you manage well on your own? In what areas of your life would you like help?

• I am good at keeping myself on task and working towards goals, I don’t really struggle with motivation or such.
• I’m pretty good at building connections and friendships with professors and other people and maintaining a sort of warm, friendly atmosphere in workplaces.
• I need help at times figuring which information is important and which can be left out. My work tends to spiral outwards and things like page-counts in papers or time-limits in presentations seem horrendously oppressive.
• I need help with taxes.
• I sometimes need help figuring out why I’m upset about things.
• I would like help figuring out my socionics type ;)

What things do you dislike doing? What things do you enjoy more than others?

• I dislike cooking (it just doesn’t interest me, although I enjoy tasting different kinds of food, I am also happy eating the same thing everyday, which I do when I live on my own).
• I dislike things like taxes.
• I am struggling with this question. I guess I dislike when I cannot plan and have to wait and see about more information (not strictly a “dislike doing” answer). Unresolved problems or conflicts give me a lot of anxiety.
• I enjoy going to museums, climbing, exercise (while listening to a podcast about an interest, preferably in another language), analysing medieval literature, planning initiatives, theorising and brainstorming with professors and some friends.

What goals, aspirations, or plans do you have for the future, and why?

• I want to publish more articles in and outside of my field. I have a couple I’m working on now, which range from 19th century literature (recently accepted as a journal article!) to niche folklore topics (recently presented at a conference) to medieval travel literature (readying for publication), so that is my immediate term, along with some travel for language-study later in the summer.
• Long term, I want to finish my PhD and become a professor in my field at a research-heavy (R1 or the equivalent) university
• I hope to master more languages (I need working competency in 5 to even pass my PhD qualifying exams), and to do so, I plan to travel (and acquire funding for that).
• I also want to be a little closer to my family, and take care of my partner and eventually marry.

What kinds of things do you do to manage and/or beautify your environment (your room, your house, etc.)?

• I have a lot of trinkets, artifacts, candles, and pieces of artwork up in my room. They are pretty varied, from statues (a bronze buddha from Sri Lanka, a basalt Horus from Egypt, and so forth) to artwork (Dante’s inferno by Botticelli, a Dali painting is up too at the moment), to some tibetan prayer flags, etc. Basically just stuff I’ve gotten from travels or as gifts.
• I’m pretty clean, in all honesty. I don’t mind clutter, but I don’t like when things are dirty.

If you won the lottery and didn't have to work anymore, what would you do?

• Exactly what I am doing, but I’d have a nicer place to live and worry a little less. I acquire external funding for a lot of my travels, etc., so that stuff wouldn’t really change.

What traits do you find endearing that others might dislike? What traits are considered positive/neutral by others but tend to annoy you?

• I find it somewhat endearing when people talk a lot about their own interests. I can usually relate it to things I am interested in without needing them to do that for me, and I also usually just find those things interesting.
• I find it endearing when
• I sometimes find it difficult when people leave all decision-making up to me, even if they’re trying to be flexible/easy. I can make the decisions, but don’t always like to.

How do you behave around strangers?

• I am very polite, but don’t really engage with strangers that often. I can be a bit shy, and used to have a decent amount of social anxiety, but lately I’m just not interested in interacting with strangers.

How do you react to conflict? What do you do if somebody insults or attacks you?

• Conflict really causes me a lot of anxiety if it’s with someone I know or have to see in the future. In those instances, I usually just don’t end up in conflict with them: I’m pretty friendly and try to see people’s perspectives.
• If not, and it’s with a stranger, I kind of just ignore them.

Would you ever be interested in starting a business? Why or why not? What role would you play in it? What kind of business would it be?

• Not sure. I kind of prefer doing what I’m doing now - the research and teaching aspects. I don’t really know what sort of value I’d be adding to the world with a business, but I suppose if I could find something that was both interesting for me and seemed to fill a needed niche, sure.
• I like the business Facsimile finder, they make medieval manuscript reproductions. Perhaps something like that, or creating a sort of community centre/third place (I used to think about owning a pub, back in my bartending days).

How do you dress or manage your appearance?

• I keep things pretty simple, and try to stick to classic clothes (rather than trendy). Timeless and simple, more or less. That being said, I enjoy colours, and try to model my wardrobe a bit off of an autumnal palate (I got really into colour season theory a couple of months ago briefly, and was “typing” all of my friends and myself, now I just use it when thrifting for new clothes).
• I pretty much exclusively get clothes either as gifts or through thrift stores. I sort of really dislike shopping otherwise.
• I take care of myself physically, and keep a simple but effective skincare routine and eat moderately healthy. It stresses me out when things like skincare have too many steps, though.

Do you like kids? Why or why not?

• Yeah, I think kids are nice. I appreciate how much potential they have and how good-hearted and imaginative they usually are. That being said, I don’t always find them particularly interesting, so I guess more of a generally benevolent ambivalence from my end.

In what situations or times in your life did you feel most fulfilled, and why?

• I’m pretty fulfilled right now, in all honesty. I have work that challenges me but is super interesting and allows (and pays) for lots of travel, I have a loving partner, I have a relatively secure future for the remainder of my PhD programme (minimum four more years).
• I do wish I had a better social circle right now though, but I honestly haven’t put enough effort in to build one (I have two social circles but we’re all busy/inconsistent).

In case you don't know, the Sun Princess is Princess Cruises' latest behemoth ship, carrying around 3,000 guests and 1,000 crew at full capacity. I just got back from a 2-week sailing and took meticulous notes on this epic new vessel. Here's my extremely detailed, no-BS review:

The Sheer Size is Nuts

When I say this ship is massive, I mean it's absolutely nuts how big this floating city is. Especially when you get off in ports and have to walk back down the dock to reboard - that's when the sheer scale of the Sun Princess really hits you. Even though it carries a ton of people, the only time it really felt crowded was during breakfast. The Eatery fills up quick and the International Cafe, which sits outside The Eatery doesn't lend itself well for crowds of people wiaint for their coffees. You kind of end up waiting in the middle of where the walking traffic moves.

The Medallion Life

Your entire cruise experience revolves around the new Medallion wearable device and app, for better or worse. I'll admit it has some creepy "Big Brother" vibes with how much it tracks your every movement and purchase. But the convenience it provides is undeniable.
The medallion is your modern day "cruise card" that you tap everywhere to make payments, order drinks, unlock your stateroom, get on/off the ship, and more. But what's crazy is the app can use the medallion to detect your location anywhere on board. Order a drink or meal through the app and the server will manage to find you anywhere on the ship to deliver it, usually within 15 minutes. Caveat: there were times when it took longer and other times when our order was marked "delivered" and it never arrived.
The medallion definitely feels like getting on/off the ship is way faster. The only time we ever waiting in line was for the few minutes it took people to run through security.
This made getting food/drinks almost too easy. On port days when we needed to get off the ship early for excursions, setting up a scheduled delivery of my Egg McMuffin, fruit plate in coffee was really convenient.
Fair warning though - if you're anti-tracking and value privacy over convenience, the ubiquitous Medallion system may not be for you.
Story: we were sitting by the Crooners bar having our nightly pre-dinner cocktail. The bar was packed on this night for some reason. A staff member in a suit started wandering the room, made eye contact with me from 40-feet away and then made a b-line for us. He wanted to sign us up for a wine/food pairing event they were having. I have to believe this is because of the tracking being done via the meddalion. They could see we drink our share of wine. It definitely felt like targeted marketing.

Premium Package Was Best for Us

We opted for the Premium beverage package at $80 per day and I'm glad we did for a few reasons:

1. If you need to have more than one device connected to the internet at a time, Premium makes sense just based on that (you can have four devices). The cheaper Plus package only allows one device, which was a non-starter for me needing both my phone and laptop to be online. I'm unfortunately not able to just live off the grid for almost three weeks and need to periodically check in with my clients.
2. The wine selection is way better with Premium vs Plus. As a wine drinker, the upgrade was 100% worth it.
3. Two free speciality dining meals are included, which was clutch on our 2-week cruise to break up the repetition of the main dining rotation.
4. Unlimited premium desserts and ice creams - a nice perk for those with a sweet tooth.

Basically, Premium removed almost any need to think about or worry over costs on board. For $80 per day, the premium drinks, speciality dining, better wines, desserts and internet made it an easy choice for our group's needs.
And for those wondering about the 15 drink per day limit (since there's almost a weekly post asking about it) - it was never an issue for me. I'm a scrotch drinker and to get a decent pour, you basically have to order a double. Even drinking doubles, I never got to 15 drinks/day. This even includes sea days where we'd typically have a mimosa or two with breakfast, a few cocktails/beers at the pool, an cocktail or two before dinner and then wine at dinner.

Staff & Service

I can't say enough about how incredible and friendly the service was across the board on the Sun Princess. Our room steward, waiters, bartenders - everyone went so above and beyond daily, it really elevated the experience. I'm always amazed how they remember everyone's names.
However, we did notice a clear slip in the quality of service in the second week compared to the first, likely due to a crew changeover partway through our sailing. Simple things like forgetting drink orders or getting meals wrong became more frequent from our new set of MDR servers.

Suites & Staterooms

We originally booked a balcony room. When the bid offer came in I followed some old advice and just placed bids on upgrades because "you don't have to take the offer if you don't like it." Well guess what, that's not the case anymore. My offer was accepted and we automatically became the proud recipients of a Reserve Mini-Suite for an additional $500. In hindsight, I'm glad it worked out. The room has noticably more space than a standard balcony room. These mini-suites are spacious, basically a separate living room and bedroom divided by a curtain you can close off. Having two TVs and an extra closet was great.
As mini-suite guests we also received a nice amenity of free premium wines in our room - on the second week they even topped us up with two more complementary bottles! I guess each week is looked at as a new sailing -- so you get two more bottles! Some older posts complained about the wine quality. It looks like it's been upgraded because we received a Pinot Noir and Chard from La Crema. Being California wine people, La Crema works great for us. If you can swing it, I'd highly recommend going for a mini-suite over a regular balcony.
That being said, I'd avoid the "Cabana" balcony suites. The layout is really bizarre and in my opinion a downgrade. When you walk out onto your balcony, it's not really a balcony. There's another area in front of your balcony that connects a few other cabana suites. The idea is that a few rooms share a private balcony with jacuzzi. However, it also means that walking out onto your balcony doesn't give you a private ocean view because there's this 20-30 feet of additional patio in front of you and everyone above you just looks down into your balcony area.

Dining Highs & Lows

Main Dining Rooms

It can be confusing because there are three floors (Decks 6, 7 and 8). We reserved dining in the MDR prior to the trip via the app for the first few days just so we knew there was a guaranteed place to eat. On night one, the dining room manager introduced himself to us and said he went ahead and booked our table for us every night of the trip. If we didn't show, it was fine.
Food quality in the main dining rooms (MDRs) was consistently good across breakfast and dinner. On port days, it's an "express breakfast" which just means a shorter list of options. Nothing mind-blowing, but solid and tasty. My biggest gripe here is the operating hours. On sea days, the MDR closes for breakfast at 9:00am. You basically have to choose between sleeping in a little, hitting the gym, or getting a decent breakfast.
Pro-Tip: Biggest breakfast tip is stay away from the scrammbled eggs -- they're gross. We figured out that the scrambled eggs come from a bag. If you want real, cracked eggs, either get an omelett or over easy/medium/hard/etc.

Reserve Suite Dining Access

The Reserve mini-suite gives you access to the Reserve Restaurant. It's a little bit more elevated of a dining experience and reservations aren't needed -- you just show up. We dined her a few times and it did feel more elevated. Unlike the MDR, the server in the Reserve Restaurant feels more personal because they're handling smaller groups.

Lido Deck

For more casual fare, the Lido deck had some surprises like an awesome made-to-order salad bar station that became my go-to for healthier meals between all the indulgent dining. The burger grill, taco station and pizza areas were pretty standard, but that salad bar slapped.

Lackluster Buffet

On the flip side, The Eatery buffet left a lot to be desired. Despite different themed stations, the quality was mid at best. We largely avoided eating at the buffet outside of quick breakfast grabs. The Eatery closes for breakfast around 10:00 AM. At which point if you move further into the ship, the restaurants that are normall Catch and Butcherblock become a buffet extension that's opened later -- it's kind of funky.
The layout of the buffet is weird and leaves people wondering if they're cutting in line especially when you go to the extended buffet at Catch/Butcherblock.
What's odd to me is you can go grab a million cheese plates, fruit plates or hummus/veggie plates at the buffet. But if you order those things through the Medallion app, it's not "complimentary." You have to pay like $4.99-$5.99 for those items. We still can't figure out why it costs $5 to order a tiny cheese plate but ordering a cheeseburger is free.

Specialty Dining Winners

We used our two speciality dining credits at Crown Grill and Butcher's Block. I was a little worried because I had read mixed reviews on here about both of these restaurants. However, both meals were really good and before you come at me, I'm a foodie guy -- I'd tell you if they sucked.
We chose Crown for my parent's anniversay dinner. The service was awesome and they made us all feel really special. The setup here is like a steakhouse, where you order your beef and then the sides are a la carte family style. We had a group of seven -- the manager just said "we'll bring you out all the sides, enough for your whole party" which was great.
The next week, we hit up Butcher's Block by Dario. I've never left a meal more full on a cruise ship than at this place. It's family style dining and they just bring out everything for you -- almost like a brazilian barbecue place. We started with a bread appetizer and a glass of wine while you wait for them to get the dining room setup. Then there's more bread on the table + veggies. Then the food starts coming out: beef tartar; beef carpaccio; etc. The main event is the massive tomahawks and porterhouse steaks they carve up tableside. They'll just keep putting beef on your plate until you beg them to stop. Finally, there's desert and a grappa digestif.
Both restaurants were great experiences and a very welcomed change from the MDR after a week of repetition. The food, service and overall vibe were a noticeable step up.

Spellbound

We also splurged one night for the Spellbound immersive magic/dinner experience and it was easily a cruise highlight despite the $150/pp price tag. After an elevated multi-course meal, you get ushered by a guy in a top hat into an exclusive hidden club. While waiting for the magic show, you hang out in their bar which is reminiscent of the Dinseyland Haunted Mansion. While enjoying your drink, there's a magician perorming more intement magic for everyone at the bar. Once they're ready for the show, you're brought into the room where the actual magic show takes place. Afterwards, you're welcome to hang out in the Spellbound bar and continue drinking.
If you're from LA, you probably know about the Magic Castle in Hollywood. Spellbound is an extension of the Magic Castle. Just like with the Magic Castle, you show up in formal wear. This means a coat and tie for the men and an evening gown/dress for the woman.
Overall, we really enjoyed it.

Room Service

This was hit or miss for us. You fill out the paper door hangar and place it on your doorknob before heading to bed. Then you hope and pray that it will actually arrive -- which in two of our instances, it never did. Your options are also super limited. You also may or may not receive what you actually ordered. With coffee for instance, you have a choice of ordering it to-go (paper cup) or stay (actual coffe cup). We always seemed to get the opposite of what we ordered to the point where it became a running joke for us.

International Cafe

This became our goto for a lot of things: coffee, snacks, quick breakfast food (pastries, coffee cake, avodcado toast, Egg McMuffins). Werid fact though: if you order the Egg McMuffin through the app, it comes as an egg patty just like McDonalds and with cheese. When you get the one at International Cafe, it's just an over easy egg and no cheese. Why they can't just be the same is odd.

Night Owl Needs

My main dining gripe was the lack of solid late night food options for us night owls. The Eatery buffet closed at an absurd 10:30pm, leaving only spotty room service or mobile ordering as the choices if you worked up an appetite after evening activities. More robust late-night casual dining would be appreciated.

Bars & Alcohol

Overall, great selection of cocktails. All of the bars have their own little theme and different menus. The ladies I was with were consitently impressed at the quality and thought of the cocktails at each bar. They were also super impressed with the quality of the glassware being used. I must admit, everything from the rocks glasses to the martini glasses really were beautiful.
If you just want straight spirits, you have to order a double to get a normal pour (they're actually measuring out the pours). That being said, with either Plus or Premium, you'll get a good selection of top quality booze.
You gotta try really hard to hit the 15-drink max. Some days I had drinks at breakfast, during the day, lunch, before dinner, during dinner and after dinner. I never hit my max.
One thing that impressed me was staff actually being concerned about drink quality. We were having drinks at one of the bars on the Lido deck. The supervisor was upset with the bartenders because they ran out of premium liquor and hadn't requested more. He made sure to remind them that when someone orders a premium drink they get a premium liquor -- no exceptions.
You also must checkout the Good Spirits bar. There's a few times throughout the night where you watch a live cocktail demonstration. The bartenders at GS are so fun and playful -- really makes for a great vibe.

Amenities - Hits & Misses

The gym facilities on board were a bit of a disappointment, especially for a new ship. While they had a nice assortment of cardio machines, the actual weight room was laughably small with only a few pieces of strength equipment that were always monopolized. Not a deal-breaker, but an area that could be improved.
The pool areas were nicely spread out across different sections of the Lido deck. On sailing days, there was typically a band, the DJ and then a random movie on the jumbotron. The random blasting of action movies at 3pm really ruined the pool vibe and it's typically when the deck would thin out. One minute you're relaxing in the jacuzzi, the next an action movie with explosions is shaking the pool area. It made no sense and seemed tailored for a much younger crowd despite this sailing's passengers being mostly older adults.

Technology & Support

In addition to the Medallion app, the overall internet speeds on board were fast and reliable enough for me to easily stay connected for basic work needs.
The technology support via the app's live chat feature, however, was utterly useless. Any time we had issues properly being charged for drink packages or had to modify reservations, the live chat was a time-wasting nightmare. You're clearly just talking to an outsourced rep with zero actual knowledge of Princess' systems or operations. Your best bet is to go in-person to the guest services desk.

Other Notes & Quibbles

• Dress codes weren't enforced at all. We did the whole suite/gown routine for formal nights only to see plenty of people still rocking jeans and t-shirts in the MDR. Same lack of enforcement for the "formal attire required" Spellbound event. Either lose the formal nights or enforce them.
• Our drink package tallies often had errors, with our group's drinks randomly getting combined onto one person's account. Always double check and ask for corrections.
• The "Cabana" balcony suite layout is bizarre - your balcony is just a shared landing in front of other suites, rather than a private space. We avoided these after hearing the lack of privacy.

Hi all, I have had a severe flare up at the start of this year to where probably 70% of my body was covered with psoriasis. But this was like nothing I have experienced, irritated and painful constantly. I began using urea moisturiser and other moisturisers religiously sometimes multiple times a day which kept the pain at bay however if I went 24hrs without moisturising it became severly uncomfortable. I was referred to a derm back in feb/march and now have my appointment in a couple weeks. My plan was to try and make my case for skipping phototherapy which is the next step on the NHS because to be blunt all I have seen and read are negative, having to go through multiple tries and the psoriasis almost always came back from what I saw. However the past week my psoriasis has changed majorly, my upper body was entirely covered with the exception of my chest and it was constantly inflamed however it has moved from a deep red to light pink and even started to disappear completely in some areas. This is a concern because I have no pictures of my worst state and I find it pretty difficult to put into words the severity of it, I dont want to seem like I am overdramatic when I explain to the derm what it was like but I also find it important to explain how bad it got. I also dont know what treatment step is best now, I still have psoriasis over my whole body of course but I feel my case for skipping phototherapy (which I have no idea if it is possible to) is much weaker now. Any advice? and apologies for the essay

So I’ve decided not to use dating apps anymore and just work with whatever network of people comes my way or consider any of the men I already know.
The other day I thought what if I sent a text to my former fitness trainer since he’s in my contacts, at least from my point of view we got along pretty well and for the most part enjoyed conversing with one another.
But I’m nervous to. Idk what he thinks of me at all. I mean when he was my trainer of course he has to be professional and he’s already a friendly person (one time I got him info dumping how much he loves board games and how good he is at them so he definitely doesn’t mind chatting) but I never got the vibe there would be any possible chance he’d find me interesting. He’s shared things about his family life, it wasn’t anything serious but does that mean someone feels comfortable with you? Well we don’t fully know each other so idk
It’s funny my whole life I avoided making movies or showing interest in fear they don’t like me. And like what if he’s already talking to someone?
I saw him recently in person but it was small talk about the gym.
Btw the only way for me to contact him is through text. He doesn’t have a membership of the gym I use to go to.
If I do message him, idk what to say…last text I sent him was a meme that related to him and he found it funny.
I’m probably overthinking this lol

So, I've kind of posted about this in other threads, specifically on askreddit, but by some users request, I will do my best to fully relay this entire tale up to the current point, as well as provide as much context I am able (and will provide missing context if asked in comments).
TL;DR
A friend of mine of 4 years drank himself into liver failure and his wife cheated on him, so I offered him a free room to try and put his life back together, and I was repaid for the thought with a divorce of my own, but honestly, it's probably not that bad.
Part 1: CONTEXT
Me and my wife have been together since early 2014, and married in late 2017. We have been through much together, including two extended deployments, one of which was 10 and a half months long. We have traveled the world together, lived on both coasts of the US, and despite much of our struggles and how things eventually went down, I was always convinced we would work as a team to overcome any issues.
The friend in question was, largely, an online friend. We met playing an MMO during covid and we quickly formed a very tight knit, but small, community that were very close that included me, my wife, my friend, his wife, and 4 other friends. Covid was a wild time and I was surprised how easy it was to form friends in this group and we kept in touch, as a whole, even once quarantine had ended and most of us had moved on from that particular game. This was a group that, while it started online, we have met most of these people several times IRL and had vacations to spend time together and just hang out.
Part 2: His Problems
Fast forward to about January of 2024. My buddy, from here on out I will refer to as Z (and for a quick add, I will refer to my wife as D), contacts us to tell us his condition is dire and he has been diagnosed with stage 4 cirrhosis of the liver as a consequence of his extensive drinking. Shaken, we quickly charter a flight out to visit. Within a week, we're staying with him and his wife and his roommate and a couple members of his family who are taking care of him. This man is bloated, yellow, and probably about 350lbs now. We are worried, but stay supportive and positive that help can be found, especially since he seems keen on changing his lifestyle for the better. Some of his family start a gofundme that we donate to, and many of the people in our gaming circle who have grown close also donate several thousand dollars (One member of our raid team donated 10k. You never know who is stealth rich on the internet I guess). Me and several other friends discuss the possibilities of helping him get on disability and even getting ourselves tested as compatible living donors. Sad, but hopeful, we depart about a week later, and stay in constant touch.
About a month later, I'm getting a call from one of our mutuals letting me know that "Hey, so I may have goofed up." and tells me how Z's wife had visited him and had a 3 way with him and his wife. I am obviously irate at this and turn to back Z up with comments like "So much for in sickness and in health, huh?" I do what I can to stay supportive, and my wife, D, also makes it a point to stay in touch with him as he has found himself banished to the couch of his apartment. Not even allowed to sleep in his own bed and frequently uncomfortable even being in his bedroom to use the PC.
I'm not particularly rich, but I am not poor either. I served in the military and have a high VA rating which means a constant income and have a steady job and a couple side gigs that pay well enough. My love language, in many ways, is gift giving. I pride myself on being able to pick a good gift, even if it's a little early for an occasion such as a bday or christmas, and will often pull the trigger on something if it means a lot or I think it will help. In this case, my brother was selling an old steam deck because he wanted a new OLED model, so I figured "two birds, one stone", and buy the steam deck off him and send it to Z so we can still game together.
In the intervening months, Z and D start playing games that I have no interest in (Disney Dreamlight Valley), but I am happy to play other games and hang out and chat. Really, nothing seems amiss, but since his banishment, me and my wife are both pushing for him to come and take up the spare bedroom we have in our home. Soon enough, I buy him a plane ticket and he arrives with little more than the clothes on his back and we take him in, no cost other than the expectation that he might help around the house a bit (he was a chef, so having a cook and someone to help clean was ideal for me who often did not have the time or energy to handle these tasks as thoroughly as I would like).
Part 3: The Incident
Now, I am skipping ahead a little bit here, but there's not much to be said about the time between. My wife worked part time hours, and when she did go to work, she'd have him tag along just so he wouldn't "Sit and stew with bad thoughts" at the house alone. I will admit that throughout this entire ordeal, I have had several, several times where my brain tried to warn me, but I ignored ALL of those signs because I trusted him, but more importantly, I trusted her with my life.
One new, frequent argument I found myself having with her was she would fall asleep on the couch, and when I finally tried to go to bed, I'd do my best to wake her and drag her upstairs. These became extremely frequent occurrences and I expressed to her how frustrated I was that I had to fight with her just to come to bed so we could sleep (mind you, this is not even about sex. Often I'm taking her to bed at like, 1am and I work at 7, so I really just wanted her to be sleeping in the bed). Hell, one time, I started catching the vibes that the longer I sat and waited for her to be ready to go upstairs, she just never would be, because they were waiting for me to leave so they could talk in hushed tones. On THAT particular night, I went upstairs alone with her finally awake, and she did not join me for another half hour.
Finally, the day arrives. Its Sunday. We are all downstairs hanging out. One of their newest habits I can't really stand but just dealt with is that she'd sit and crochet while he doomscrolled or strummed on a guitar I bought him and listen to music videos on youtube endlessly. Eventually, I grow weary and give my wife a kiss and tell her I'm gonna go upstairs and play some GW2 for a bit.
About an hour passes, and she enters the game room and tells me "I am uncomfortable. I really need to talk to you. Oh, you're dying!" (As she entered the room, I immediately turn face to talk to her and disregard the game, but she decided that my Charr was more important that what was about to happen, so she of course warns me.) We step into the bedroom and close the door.
"You're going to hate me," she says through tears, "me and Z kissed!" At this point, my brain short circuits and I recall one of my first thoughts being "Oh lord, here we go." and just a general desire to not be a part of this conversation. Shock sets in almost immediately. Still with a healthy dose of denial, I talk to her about what had happened and told her that it needed to end. Even at this point, I did not want to send this man home. Was it shock? Denial? Probably a mixture of the two, or some other additional emotional responses. She gets up after some discussion and goes downstairs, promising to shut him down, but comes back about 15 minutes later sobbing "I couldn't do it! I couldn't end it..." (Side note: In my confused haze of a mind, I feel personally threatened, and after she leaves the bedroom, I lock the door and grab a metal water cub I keep at my side and prepare to actually fight if it comes to it, but once she returns, I back off that idea again.)
Talking with her more, I present her with two options; Couple's therapy, or divorce. BOTH of these options are world ending to her, and she even goes so far as to suggest that just because I said the "D word" that it was what I wanted, which was objectively untrue. We talk back and forth about things I don't quite recall at this point, aside from one point where she comes back and locks herself in the master bath and tells me to call 911, she doesn't care, because she's going to take a bunch of pills, but after a couple of hours, Z shows up to the door and knocks and asks if he can come in. I tell him he may enter, and we talk for a bit. After about 5ish minutes, we decide to go downstairs to the living room and continue the discussion.
Once I sit down on the sofa, I immediately feel like I'm being positioned as the bad guy. I'm in the corner of our sectional, and she's on my left, he's on my right. She tells him "He said it's either a divorce or couple's therapy." "Oh, so he gave you an ultimatum?" I continue to argue that yes, those are the two only options. Z tells me "You're not being fair to her emotions. She is telling you there is another option." I am thoroughly baffled at this statement.
D: I didn't think it was possible and I didn't mean for it to happen, but I have fallen in love with another man. My heart has room for two. I truly have two soulmates. I have never been happier than sleeping on the couch next to my two boys.
Z: There is no reason you guys can't stay married, and we can explore what we've found. I mean, look at how happy she has been since I have been here!
Sick to my stomach, I get up to go vomit in the toilet. Now, I wore a silicone wedding ring, and often find even with a hand wash, a little water tends to get trapped under it. After I finish and wash myself up, I come back and am playing with my ring to dry it. She sees this as a sign that I am uncomfortable again wearing my ring, and takes off her ring as I sit back down and hands me her wedding ring.
Me: Uh, excuse me?
D: This is what you want, I can tell.
Me: No? I was washing my hands and water gets stuck under my ring...
D: Oh... I thought... okay. (And she takes back her ring from me)
I tell her, very clearly, the options are to either end things with him, or end things with me. At this point, I'm still in shock, but sober in mind enough to decide that this is not worth fighting over. I will not argue with my own wife my merits or why she shouldn't just pack up and leave with a jobless, now essentially homeless man, and if she cannot figure that out herself then I will eventually move on.
Crying, sobbing, she sits down in front of him and says, "I'm so sorry, I fought for you. I really did. I told you I'd fight for you and I failed. I loved being your girlfriend, but I need to be a good wife and stay."
Z says "Alright." and starts to go gather his things to leave. As he does, she grabs him and says "No, wait! Please don't go. I don't know what I want."
Z: Ok, well if we're getting all this out in the open, I want to say this. I love this girl. I love her with my whole heart, and without her, life is not worth living. I will not leave this house if you (me) tell me to. Only her. You are taking this very well right now, I can tell you want to hit me (Still in shock, no, I can genuinely say that emotion or thought had not actually registered outside of the event upstairs earlier), but this is my stand.
D: OP, we had a good run. I'm sorry.
And with that, I get up and go to get my sandals and leave the house to get some air. As I try to go, she runs to the door and he follows her. She pushes the door closed and says "No wait, please!"
Me: No, this is the deal. I'm going out to get some fresh air. I am not threatening self harm to "win you back".
D: Will you be back?
Me: I don't know.
Z: Man, I'm telling you, you don't understand, you think I am your enemy, but I am not.
And with that, I leave and shut the door.
In the about, hour, I am gone, I drive around near the house and I call my supervisor who I have a very good relationship with (and I did not want to involve direct friends or family yet because I'm afraid it's too early to start spreading this news). I go over to her house nearby and we chat shortly. After our talk, I have at least something of a clear head and go home, with words for both of them.
As I arrive home, there is no one downstairs. I go upstairs. His door is closed. I knock on the door.
Z: Uh, one second.
I wait for about 5 agonizing seconds, but I refuse to be shut out of rooms in my own home and open the door. He is shirtless, and she is hiding in the corner just out of sight of me. I look him in the eye.
Me: Really?
Z: Yep.
Me: Get out of my house.
And with that, they both silently pack their things and leave.
The second I hear the front door close, I start calling people. I am not above pettiness, and the first person I call is her mom, whom I have a good relationship with. She is SHAKEN and immediately calls her. (I find out later that it was a particularly harsh verbal beating by her, but it really doesn't change anything.)
When I come downstairs to check the state of the house, I see her wedding ring on the counter. I call out of work the next day and lay down and hope I die.
Part 4: Her Problems
So, there is some additional context that I did not add in part 1 because a lot of it is red flags I ignored over the course of our relationship that, in the days following, started to become more and more obvious. There are many that I spent much effort playing off or covering her for, but I will try to briefly list much of what I see as glaring issues in the relationship that were never remedied.
This woman is 30 years old and cannot drive. She can drive and HAS driven my vehicle at the start of the relationship (albeit illegally), but after one tiny little accident where she hit a pole and knocked my side mirror off (which she paid for and fixed before telling me, it really wasn't a big deal. I was on deployment), she never drove again. Attempts to get her behind the wheel would end very quickly after they started, and the conditions to get her in the seat were often extremely time limited, scheduled, or something would come up, and every time I told her "okay, this month we're getting your license for sure" it just wouldn't happen and I'd end up feeling like the one who was at fault.
She does not have her Bachelor's degree because she did not turn in her final project for one single class. Not only that, but she has never truly pursued a career with the things she learned from the coursework, or even used her AA.
For half of the relationship, she did not work at all. When she did, it was often part time work, and if she was saddled with full time hours or, god forbid, overtime, it was a world-ending affair. She would come home and constantly be tired from her few hours at work and would do little more than sit around and crochet.
Our agreement when we bought our house was that she was going to work full time and we were going to split household duties, but I would definitely scoop the cat box because she was allergic (but she wanted cats) and wash dishes (because she hated them), and she would do laundry (because I hated it). In practice, all her version of laundry turned out to be was to throw loads in when one of us was out of clothes and just hit wash and then rotate, and then leave all the clothes in a pile on the bed. EVERYONE KNOWS folding the laundry is the worst part! Come on! Men's clothes are easy! I don't wear that much! (When we would fold, I often finished in a third of her time and would just hang out and chat until she was done)
Ultimately, this meant that for many years now, she was working barely more than part time if she was working at all, and would sort-of do laundry. Meanwhile, I am scooping litter, folding laundry, doing dishes, doing all related yard work, doing all the household cleaning, handling all the finances, I did MOST of the cooking, and all of the grocery shopping (often going alone), driving her from work if I could (she'd uber it if not) and picking her up and driving her home, as well as just generally being a chauffeur for her for 10 years, while working a full time job and a side gig online. Many nights I'd have to stop what I was doing to pick her up at closing hours, and then would sit in the parking lot for 30 minutes while she did tasks like vacuum her little crystal shop that she definitely could have done before close so I didn't end up waiting so damn long. Then we'd come home hang out and eat while we watched TV, and then if I wanted to try and go upstairs to do another hobby, I'd be silently guilted about it because she wanted to sit on the couch and crochet.
Part 5: My Problems
I am not perfect, and admit I have flaws. One of her favorite things to claim to our friends now is that I was "emotionally neglectful", and if there is truth to it, I think I can pin down the day. Before I started working full time again, I was going to school on the 9/11 GI bill. I was not a good student in my younger years, but in time, I have become rather good at school. My first two semesters back I easily maintained a 4.0 GPA. Over the summer in 2022, I, woefully, decided to take a Calc 2 class online because I could not find one in person and wanted to be ready for Calc 3 in the Fall to fill a prereq for my bachelor's, and I really liked the instructor for that Calc 3 class. This calc 2 class was painful. The instructor had clearly recorded all his lectures during Covid and we were simply given the full course of videos and given work assignments and said "Email me if you have questions." This is not how I learn, but I figured, hey, it's one class. I'm working again, but one class isn't a huge deal. I can knock this out.
I was wrong.
After the second exam, I had a low C in the class and I knew I couldn't keep up. I withdrew from the class feeling no other option. I tend to be pretty good at math, and ultimately my dream was to work with 3d printing on an industrial scale with a Mechanical Engineering degree- and if that failed I had my military history (which is engineering relevant) and a degree to fall back on and work should come easily. After clicking that withdraw button, I saw those dreams vaporize. After that, I threw myself into my government civilian job full time and slowly fell into depression. By the end of our relationship, with the toll of doing 99% of the work around the house and for her and with my dreams dead and buried, at age 33, I would wake up and pray I died. I would never kill myself, but I wanted to just die. I felt backed into a corner. I still did everything I could to support her and hoped that one day, she would pick up some of the load and maybe, just maybe, I could go back, but that day did not come (At least not in the way I expected).
Part 6: The Aftermath
This post is already too long, and if I include every single detail that has come to light since, I might actually hit the post cap, but I will go over at least some of it here.
I have had my friends come out in droves. Both of them have been effectively exiled, at least from what I can see, from every friend circle we have. After a couple of days, they flew back to live with, I guess, his parents in Vegas while they sorted shit out, because after I spoke with Z's previous roommate, he adamantly explained he was tired of all the "fucking drama" that Z had been bringing into the house and was just done with it.
I have spoken with many, many people and gotten even more context and even receipts of some of each of their conversations to our mutual friends, and some of the shit I read is just hilarious. He is "not ashamed of pursuing happiness, he is just sad that people got hurt". She is "coming to terms with emotional neglect and felt trapped, but now, yes now, she is free."
I got my neighbors to watch the cats, and took my dog up to visit my closest friend of 20 years and spent about a week and a half drinking, smoking, and talking about all this while surrounded by some of the most beautiful nature the US has to offer. Truly, without this man, I don't think I'd have gotten this far as quickly as I have. He really has been a lifesaver and I truly, to my dying day, will always appreciate him.
Paperwork has been filed, we wish to remain on good terms, and one day I still do hope I can be a friend to her, but she is woefully immature and incapable of adequately performing in an adult society. I have quit my job and am returning to school with a much lighter budget and will be getting that degree I desperately need.
It's been hard, real hard. I have put every ounce of my being into this relationship, and I truly felt like she was part of me, and nothing like this could ever happen. But it's that trust that allowed this to happen. I do not hate her, I'm just disappointed. I will pick up my pieces and, hopefully, find myself whole again soon.
Part 7: Rambling anecdotes
These are some stories I wanted to include in the previous body of text but didn't feel like it kept the same flow (if there even is any at all, I'm not proofreading this). If I remember any others after I post, Ill just toss them in the comments.
Early after Z came to live with us, my mother came to the house to drop off a package. I am pretty sure I was at work, but when my mother came to the door, both of them answered the door and the way my mom describes it "First of all, do you answer the door at your friends house? Also, the way he hovered over her made me uncomfortable. They were in the doorway and he was right up behind her poking his head out." She said my wife had told her that I was feeling unwell and was upstairs sleeping. I can't even be sure at this point.
Shortly before all the things happened, my parents were going out of town to celebrate their own anniversary, and I had agreed to dog-sit their 5 month old puppy (who, while cute, has WAY too much energy and was EXTREMELY difficult to handle, and I have raised several dogs at this point). We met up and took the dog, and then ALL of us (including Z) went to dinner. At dinner, my mother looked at my wife and asked, directly "And so how long have you been married? 6, almost 7 years? Well at least you missed that 7 year itch, huh" and my wife shortly followed with a comment about how she was not hungry and did not eat dinner that night.
All of this happened WHILE THIS CRAZY PUPPY was running around the house, and part of me thinks he pushed this to happen when it did because he could not stand having to help take care of this dog any longer (2 days).
About a week after all this happened, my wife did not text or call me, or respond to any messages or emails I sent her (I didn't send many, but they exist). Frustrated, I text her and tell her I need to talk to her about logistics moving forward, specifically about her belongings. She told me "I will talk to you when I am ready." We did not talk for another week. Also, she told me to stop talking to her mom. (I have a good relationship with both of my in-laws and while her step-father tried to remain impartial to the best of his abilities, he gave me some of the best advice I could possibly have gotten at that time, mostly about how to move forward and cope, as he has personally dealt with this with smaller relationships 3 separate times in his life which he gave me details on, and we are still on good terms.)
Their favorite TV show to watch together was Outlander, which, if you aren't aware, is basically a story about a woman who time travels and has two men in her life.
One of our biggest constant points of contention was my friendship with an old high school buddy (who I spent much of the time in the aftermath hanging out with while healing). We believe, with good reason, that she hated this man because after I had almost been hospitalized for psych reasons due to stress, he had told me I needed to talk to her about working again and doing more to help around the house. She figured out, obviously, who was telling me to say these things, and sent a very, very angry text to his wife. They all apparently made up, but I know she never let that grudge go.
One of the fairly recent hobbies I got into was D&D. It seemed like a good fit for all of us. She loved fantasy and gaming, I enjoyed 3d printing and story telling. She needed friends, and a party of people hangin out would give her at least a few connections to start. Every night she "participated" in D&D, she mostly sat quiet and did not do anything. Hell, I tried to get her to participate in 2 different games, and after she left the first one, she asked to just sit quietly in the discord call (This first one was online only, second was in person) and listen, which was super awkward. In the in person game, after 3 months of playing, she did not know how to play her character at all, and mostly spent her time at the table crocheting. (My buddy even made a comment about how at one point, he was proud of how good I was getting at DMing and I was giving particularly good exposition, and she interrupted me to hand another player at the table a dice bag she made. I don't remember it, but I absolutely believe this happened.)
The day of "the incident", she had a meltdown about how a friend of hers had ghosted her. I told her it was okay, she was much younger anyway and people grow apart. She's probably going through stuff and we should respect that path she's on. She cried about how she has no friends.
Also the day of "the incident", we were in the shower together and she told me she had met her sister's new BF on facetime. I asked "why did she break up with her old one?" "Well... she cheated on him." "Oh, that's a shame. Cheating is probably the most cowardly act a person can do to another. If you're going to start a new relationship, you need to grow a pair and end it before starting a new one." She clearly took my words to heart.
One of my biggest pet peeves about cleaning the house is our dog sheds, a lot. If I see a hairball roll through the house it immediately drains me a bit. We had a roomba. She would send that thing home when it started and never start it again. It barely ran. She would not vacuum.
One of the most common descriptors of her I've heard used by many people now that they're "allowed to" is "She was there, doing the thing with us, but it was like she wasn't there."
Something she thought that I apparently hadn't figured out by the time we talked after everything happened was that they had been talking since February. I told her I wasn't stupid and had figured it out already that this wasn't out of the blue.
Z's wife is currently pregnant with the baby of the man she cheated on him with. (And he is also married)
Anything else I remember Ill leave for comments, I know there is much, much more.

Introduction

There was a post that was recently posted and it's been asked a ton: "How do I get a computer science related job after I graduate from KSU?". I thought I'd share this with everyone because I've been down this path and managed to make it on the other side. This will be a long explanation and hopefully, can serve as some sort of guide for students. That being said, things are subjective and this is not the holy grail of how to make it. You might find all, some or none of it useful. I encourage testimonials and whatnot in the comments. Can be applied to all majors but, this primary for technology-based majors since I am in tech field. YMMV

About Me

I've been around here for a while. I was a student not too long ago, studied computer science for my bachelors. After graduating, I work in FAANG and have worked in big tech for a while. No, I don't work at Amazon. I am a senior software engineer. I touch frontend & backend technologies. I participate in hiring frequently.

Starting Out

Over the years and while attending here, there's been a weird disconnect between students, goals and how to achieve them in tech. Goals can be anywhere from learning new technologies, getting internships to securing a full time job before or after you graduate. As much as I would love for there to be a path where you can do minimum effort and still succeed, there isn't. A lot of you seem to not realize that. Getting a degree in this field is not enough. Doing projects that show no passion / interests is not enough. Being stuck on tutorials for years is not enough.
This field is much like a sport. There are very few people that can just be great without any effort. You have to be consistent. Four years is not a lot of time. It goes by super fast. If you constantly push things back and you do not take the time to learn the fundamentals outside the classroom, you will not succeed in this field. This field is at a point where there's so many of you. Every post on LinkedIn and news articles said "hey, this field is a gold mine and you'll make six figures out the gate". For a time, maybe that was somewhat true. As of writing this, it's not. You're going against people who have: better schools, better experience, etc. You have to find a way to diversify yourself early. If you can't diversify, you're going to be in a tough place later down the road. Knowledge not something you can just consume in less than an hour and pass an interview. You have to know it well. If you don't, there's someone else who will.
There's an interesting connotation in life that you're either born super smart or an absolute idiot and that you have to be smart to do computer science / programming. There are people with raw IQ that can consume things like no one you've ever met but, that's such a rarity that there's no realistic use in using that as a data point. If you ever took the time to ask someone who you thought was really good at something, they would tell you something along the lines of: I love what I do and I spent a lot of time doing this. There are hours and hours of time people put into passions that you don't / will never see. Meaning that they can no-life this shit for days on end and still come back and do it some more. It doesn't mean that you can't succeed if don't do that but, computing / programming is a very boring field if you do not enjoy it. I would seriously contemplate why you're going through this. If you're doing it for money and only money, you're going to end up miserable. No amount of money can make you do something you hate. It'll wear you down both mentally and physically. If you're doing this because it's a mix of passion and money, you're like everyone else and you gave yourself a better shot. It's a mental thing. Don't climb uphill if you rather sit at the bottom. Don't complain if you're at the bottom and you rather be at the top. There's nothing wrong with that. But, don't do it. For what it's worth, I am not the smartest person. I graduated high school with a low GPA and took college seriously because I wanted to do more with my life. Plus, being on hourly forever sounds horrible imo. Use the opportunities that life has given to you and run with it. Run far, run smart and run in a direction that you can see yourself going long-term.
Additionally, college is what you make of it. Blaming professors or the program (while I do agree sometimes) is not a solution. Blaming professors that don't speak English is a cop out. If you work in tech, you'll be interacting with a lot of people from other countries. Suck it up. Work with it instead of against it. Professors and TAs can only teach you so much. Classes are meant to give you a taste of what it's like in that domain / space. It's not meant to fix all your issues and show you the way. That's for you to do on your own time. Take accountability of your own success, explore the internet (it's free) and lock in. Stop looking for opportunities to find you. Actively seek them out yourself.

Networking

Make connections with people. I cannot stress how important this is. Especially on the Marietta campus, there's a lot of you that go to class, stingers / food, run to class and immediately start gaming and think that when your classes are over, you're done for the day. That's a bad mindset. Make connections with people. Sit with random people at stingers or wherever. Have a conversation. Find a common interest. Don't harass men / women for a date while you're at it. Keep it cool. A lot of people say "there's nothing to do at KSU and there's no life on campus". That's not true at all. It's true if you choose to put your head in a box and refuse to look up. Join a club that interests you. Get close to the people in that club who actively attend and build a personal relationship. If there's no club with your interest, make a club. Fuck it, lead one. You can make one officially through KSU or add a discord server to the student hub and go from there. You'll meet some really cool like-minded people. Lots of my connections have come from randomly showing up to a club, getting out of my comfort zone and weirdly enjoying it.

Interviewing

Brush up on your interview skills. Technical and behavioral abilities matter. Culture fit matters. A lot of you seem to walk around with almost zero personal hygiene. Clean yourself up, practice talking to people and get places. There's been this stigma that culture fit doesn't matter as much as technical and if I have great technical abilities, they'll just accept me. I can tell you for an absolutely fact that I have thrown out / tossed out resumes from highly technical individuals that had zero people skills. If you can't communicate and clean up, you're more of a risk than someone who does all those things and has a bit less technical ability. I can teach someone how to code. I can't teach someone how to take a shower or brush their teeth. Know more than just Leetcode. Learn system design. Take a course / watch a video on Linux and bash. Do not be afraid of the command line interface. Understand how things work at a deeper level. Take feedback seriously. Do not argue with people. If you future manager / colleague tells you that you need to work on things, work on those things. There's nothing worse than a co-worker in denial.

Jobs

As for internships and full time opportunities, there's a few classes at KSU that you really want to master: Data structures, Algorithm Analysis, Operating Systems and Discrete math. If you're in a major that doesn't have those classes, spend the extra money and take those classes. Do not take them online if you can afford to come in person. Take the hardest / best professors for those courses. Super important. Leetcode is quite literally, those classes merged together in a prompt-style format. If you do not understand those concepts, you will not make it in this field let alone pass an interview loop.
Data Structures - Varies. Rate my professor.
Algorithm Analysis - Varies. Rate my professor.
Operating Systems - Do not take Carla McManus if you want to learn the concepts fluently.
Discrete Math - Andy Wilson.
Having solid resume is super important. Many people who don't secure things and get automatically rejected, etc have horrible resumes. Spend the money (it's a lot) to get your resume professionally written. It's worth it. Invest in your long term career aspirations. Templates are cool but, they don't convey information well and come across as lazy. Don't put every achievement ever on there. I don't want to see a wall of text. No, I don't care if you're a Boy Scout. No, I don't care if you bussed tables in high school. You get the point. The rule of "only one page" is complete and total bullshit. If you have projects and prior work experience related to the role, list it down. Don't conserve space for the sake of keeping it one page. You're limiting yourself. I know the career center actively tells people on handshake to keep it to one page. They're wrong. I landed internships & full time roles consistently at big tech / FAANG for years with a 1.5 / 2 page resume. Do not lie on your resume. If you can't solve a leetcode hard consistently with the technology / language of choice, you don't know it well enough. I have interviewed a ton of students and people that list they know C or Python and can't write recursion or gives me a solution in O(N^2) or worse. Aim for O(N), use a hashmap / hash table when you can and do it in a language that doesn't make you fight the runtime / compiler. Trust me, we know when you're making shit up. If you don't know something say it and then, tell them to explain more. This way, you show that you have the capability to learn. Ask smart questions. Do not ask questions that have already been answered. Take notes.
On your resume, experience is only real experience if you get a W2. If you don't get a W2, you can't claim it as professional experience. A lot of background checks these days are drilling down on incorrect information. I have seen instances where people lie, get an offer, company finds out through a comprehensive background check and their offer is gone. Do not put the fate of your future income on a lie. I cannot stress this enough. A lot of students and people actively lie.
Secondly, the trick to getting a good internship is timing. A lot of you wait until Nov - Dec to find an internship and then, throw your hands up when no one responds. That's not a good mindset. Solid internships are recruiting in end of July to August. By September, the amount of open spots are extremely thin. Local companies tend to look for internships during this time. Internships are about luck after that. Reach out to people in your circle to increase your odds. A referral goes a long way. Prior experience through projects that are complex and unique go a long way. It's a numbers game. Don't aim for the highest thing ever without some sort of referral. You can still apply but, do not expect much from it. Start small and work your way up. It's extremely rare to go from KSU undergrad sophomore to Google. It takes a lot of outside work. If you happen to land the internship, make sure that you get recommendations at the end. Having real people who you worked with in a professional capacity that can vouch for you is huge. If you're in your junior year and you get an internship, make sure you try to secure a full time offer. Loop in your boss, mentor, etc. Make your expectations clear. Reach their expectations and beyond.
Thirdly, full time opportunities are rare and most new grads that get hired come from the previous year's intern pool. If you don't get converted, you have to make up that time searching for a job during your senior year. If you do get converted, keep looking because companies are flaky these days. Always have a Plan B & C. Never fully count on Plan A. If you don't have internships across four years, it's over for you. From a hiring manager perspective, it's an absolute red flag when we come across someone with a degree and no internships. That's effectively going against the point of college. You'll have to settle for crumbs and crawl your way up. Very few make it out of that hole. The bar is significantly higher. Especially, now.

Searching for an Opportunity

Do not wait until after you graduate to find a job. Jan - Early May are when most companies finalize budgets and hire. If you wait until after May, you'll might have to wait until after the Summer and possibly, October for hiring to pick up again. Proactivity is nothing but good for you. If you can't be proactive then, you won't succeed in this field. Referrals matter but, personal connections with the hiring manager / recruiter are much, much better. Work your way up. Don't discount an opportunity because it doesn't pay well. Get as much experience as you can and bounce around. Do not go into the gate thinking you're going to make $120K - $140K / yr out the gate. You're most-likely going to make $68K - $75K / yr depending on the location. Do not listen to LinkedIn posts that claim all this cool shit and how to do it. Trust me, it's bullshit. Don't pay attention to it. It's a brag-fest. It's a long road. Start walking on it early and you'll reach the other side when it matters most. Trust in it.
The reality of this economy is that highly experience people have been laid off. Those people are applying to entry level roles and those roles are being filled for cheap. In addition, watch out for fake postings and scam jobs. If you take a contract job, always keep looking. Avoid jobs that will providing "training" before you even start. Avoid jobs that are less than week old. You want things that are fresh. It's a numbers game. Apply for 300+ jobs every week until you get a response back. Don't be discouraged by employers who don't respond or ghost you. Keep at it. It's a mental game.

Conclusion

I think if you do these things, you'll end up at a great spot after four years. If you're just now coming across this and you've been slacking, use this an opportunity to wake the fuck up, light a fire under your ass and lock in. If you're still in denial after reading this post and you have yet to get anything, light a fire under your ass, come to terms with it and lock in.
If you're in it to do zero work, cheat on your classes, mess around for four years and somehow wing a high salary or a job in this field, good luck. You're fucked. You're so fucked, in-fact, that you'll be wondering "why me and why is it so hard" for a long ass time. Don't be that person.

Cool Resources

Git - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CvUiKWv2-C0
Github (use this as your portfolio; web devs should make an actual clean website) - https://github.com
Github Student Pack (tons of free resources) - https://education.github.com/pack
Linux Handbook - https://linuxhandbook.com/ Linux Quickguide - https://github.com/mikeroyal/Linux-Guide
Lots of subreddits geared around linux and programming. Great resources to find.
Understand: Kernel Space vs. User Space, Memory Allocation / Deallocation, Bitwise Operations, Memory blocks, processes and threads, context switching
System Design Primer - https://github.com/donnemartin/system-design-primer
Understand: Monolith vs. Micro-services, Tradeoffs between different approaches, Vertical vs. Horizontal Scaling, Load Balancers, Buckets, Data lakes, CI / CD Pipelines, Data Clusters, Client-Server Architecture, Synchronous vs. Asynchronous Context: System design is like a giant puzzle that has many forms. Create a basic design. It won't be perfect. Mix-and-match different services and know why, how and tradeoffs between each approach.
Programming language is dependent on the role and what the company favors. Common ones are Java, C++, Python, C#, JavaScript / TypeScript and C. You can look at jobs that you would like to work someday, look at the requirements and use that as a basis on where to start learning. Things constantly change. Fundamentals build up on each other. Start small. Work your way up. Do not dream big. Dream realistic. Everyone is different.

I am a wife of a Veteran. I was on here back in Feb and March and many of you were quite helpful when my husband went to ER and was admitted. Here are details leading to my questions:
- May 1986, my husband sustained a compression fracture to 3 vertebrae in roll-over accident while serving on active duty. Was given 20% service rating when discharged.
- 2001 was diagnosed with a malignant brain tumor (Glioblastoma). Did chemo and radiation and lived the next 23 years with no deficits or recurrence.
- Started having back, tailbone and foot pain early 2023 and found out through another Veteran he should be applying for a higher service rating.
- After a scan Aug 2023 was diagnosed with Spinal Stenosis.
- Using a local VSO he applied for an increase based on prognosis.
- Dec 2023, VA approved for back diagnosis, denied for tailbone/ coccyx and foot pain. Received a service connection rating of 60%.
- Feb. 2024 experienced seizures for the first time in his life. ER visit determine recurrence of brain tumor. Had craniotomy to remove tumor.
- April 25, 2024, after lengthy hospital stay recovering, he was transferred to an inpatient intensive Neurological rehabilitation center and is still currently there.
- Since I was not around when my husband had his car accident, his family told me he did not remember who he was when he woke up in the hospital and did not remember the accident. They believe I should try to prove his accident definitely had trauma to his head which very well could have lead to his brain cancer years later. May be a long shot.
- Small non-VA hospital where he was taken to in 1986 no longer have his medical records from the accident. After 3 days in that hospital, he was transferred to William Beaumont Army Medical Center in Fort Bliss, TX. Have not called yet to see if they have kept medical records from 1986.
- Husband’s Neuro-Oncologist said “sure a head trauma could potentially lead to brain cancer, anything is possible, as we don’t know what causes brain cancer.”
- I also believe he had PTSD, as he lost his best friend who was driving the vehicle and could never talk to me about it. He said it triggered too much pain and was traumatized when his best friends mother said to him (out of grief I’m sure), “I guess we will never really know who was driving the vehicle.”
I have tried to watch advice given by other Veterans on YouTube, but there is so much info it is kind of overwhelming. I thought of hiring a 3^rd party, but again so many and how do you know which are actually legit. So a Veteran friend recommended I start off with the VSO and see what she says and if that doesn’t’ work, then hire a 3^rd party.
Since my husband has memory and cognitive deficits right now, I am the one who will be trying to get his service connection rating increased. I do have medical POA for my husband and I did submit Form 21-0845 (Auth to Disclose Info to me). I have a meeting with the same VSO next week Wed. May 22 to discuss appealing the denial on tailbone and foot pain. I have access to his VA portal and could not find explanation for denial of tailbone and foot pain. Also the fact that my husband has terminal brain cancer and is no longer employable.
1. I know brain cancer will be a hard thing to prove a connection with his car accident while in service. But back in 1986 I don’t think head traumas were given as much concern as they are now. Do any of you think there are ways to prove this, or does it even need to be proved with a terminal diagnosis?
2. Any advice when speaking with the VSO on what I should say and not say when trying to appeal the tailbone and foot pain and unemployable?
Thanks in advance.

Hello,
I've never posted about this kind of stuff, but I've never experienced such a persistent nagging pain
My ex and I had a very turbulent 7 year relationship, I initially met her months after healing from another long term relationship, about 25 years, and that ended amicably, and to this day I see her as a friend.
The beginning of our relationship was amazing, it was very sexually charged, she was into everything and anything I did, she was sweet, comforting, a great listener, the times we had were almost euphoric. Even during this phase of the relationship, I acknowledged to myself that I have to take things slow as things are moving so fast.
About a month and a half into "dating" she got pregnant, and I told her I will be there for you, and I'll never run away from being a Father, ever! Immediately everything changed, and of course I understand why and empathize with how she may have felt suddenly being pregnant, and I genuinely cared and made myself available at all times. We only lived a building apart, we were basically doors down from each other.
Immediately she wanted to get a place together, I let her know that she could stay with me anytime, give it a trial run, but we still need to get know each other, as I just got over a 25 year relationship. She started staying with me on and off and I began seeing a complete different side of her, she would storm out of my place and take issue with little things like clothes on the floor, or an unmade bed, I mean over the top anger.
Still throughout this period I began falling in love with her, and falling in love with my unborn child. During this period I started discovering a pattern of lies, some just white lies, some extremely severe, lies that had the potential to affect any sort of positive outcome as they entailed criminal behavior. When confronted with the worst ones I was assured she would stop.
Skip ahead to the birth, I was with her, we were both content, a happy beautiful healthy daughter came from the womb. I was in love, both with my child, as well as the Mother. We were inseparable for awhile, then she became extremely controlling, even vicious at times. My time with my daughter was often relegated to when the Mother was asleep, I would let her sleep when my daughter woke up in the night and bond with her then.
One day she got extremely upset with me as I wanted to bring my daughter and her to a family event, she had an issue with a family member of mine, this turned into a CRAZY argument, that ended up with me being denied seeing my child for over 12 days. I ended up going to the courthouse to file papers that would give me the legal right to see my daughter, regardless of the status of my relationship with the Mother.
I never served those papers, as my daughter had gotten sick, and we both met at her pediatrician appointment, everything melted away and we were together again, she became loving again, we shared bringing up our child, but I began to lose touch with all my family, including my friends, anything I would do or plan to do would cause an insane amount of friction.
Through this time we did our best to be close, but the lies never stopped, and I completely began to lose my sense of self. There were times when my daughter would be completely weaponized, used as a pawn to control me, I slowly began isolating myself from just about anyone but my daughter and the Mother. We would have an argument, could be anything, big or small, and instantly I'd be disregarded, no communication, no texts, no calls, no responses. Then we would get together and she would show me love and kindness, and I'd be hooked again. This on and off pattern lasted a good 6 years. I still struggle thinking about how dark some of those days were, and I've never strayed or abandoned my daughter. She's the light of my life, just has 2 parents that can't seem to live peacefully together.
Forward to now, just a few months ago we talked and decided it would be best to part and focus on co-parenting. The 1st month was great, we were cordial to each other during pick ups and drop offs, but we stopped both putting our child to bed together. If she had her I used to always go over and put her to bed, read books, bathe, etc and she would for the most part so the same when I have my daughter. We stopped that, as when my daughter did fall asleep that's when we would connect, quite often it was just sexual, looking back it was like giving a dog a bone, it was void of true intimacy, it was just enough to keep things balanced in an odd way, it became the only affection I came to know.
This entire time, regardless of our status, whenever we were with other people she was a gem, she always would bring gifts even if not necessary, always be extremely affectionate towards me, basically playing a part.
Here's an example, I got sick one evening, some sort of food poisoning, it got bad enough where I had to go to the hospital and be treated in a bed from early morning until evening. This happened to fall on a night we had planned a "date" night. She came to the hospital to pick me up, my parents were there and she was as sweet as you could imagine, as soon as I got discharged and we were driving home, now just the two of us, she flipped on me for ruining our date. She bought tickets to a show, and she was recklessly pissed off and as mean as one could imagine, and I was still sick, she ended up storming out of my place.
These kinds of situations became normal, and a nonstop cycle of on again/off again partners became the norm.
I'm getting long winded now, but I'll come back to the present. After about a month of just co-parenting and coming to terms with ending any sort of romantic relationship, and being cordial to one another, she started reminiscing about our past, sharing pictures of happy times with my daughter and us together, pictures of just her and I, messages of love, how she misses me, will always love me, all these things, and I opened the door again. This was days before she was leaving for a "yoga retreat" and I would have my daughter. Needless to say, those 4 days there was no more communication, not even with my daughter. The 1st communication on a Sunday morning was about being together again, and sentiments of love.
This has since happened 2 more times, always surrounded by secrecy, even if it directly affects my daughter, which unfortunately it has. Come to find out she was never away, "out of town" she was just down the road at an Airbnb with some guy that fly's in from out of state, she told me all this and actually said how much I would like him, and that this guy would love to meet me, and at the same time maintaining how much she still loves me. Just whacky, not even months after ending any romantic partnership.
This coming week my daughter and her are taking their first "vacation" without me involved. I was completely fine with this, expressing how I first had some mixed feelings, because my daughter has never really traveled without me and her Mother together. Then I came to terms with it and even started suggesting places to show her, a beach to check out, dolphins in these waters, manatees here etc. The guy she's been seeing at random airbnbs lives in the state they are flying too.
It's just thrown me for such a loop. I haven't truly trusted her for a while for good reasons, lots of lies, and complete disregard for any prior planned commitments, but this just feels out of the park, and has me feeling like an emotional train wrecked weakling. Yesterday I responded to an email saying "I just need to process some of this stuff and not communicate unless it has to do with our daughter", the response was crazy, completely shitting on me as a person on how much I've wronged her and how I never cared for her and all this stuff. My reply was you are right, I'm sorry, I've been having trouble letting go, but I'm now ready too, let's focus on being the best we can be for our daughter.
Instant reply of what a great father I am, how I've always been there, how much my daughter loves me and counts down the days to when I have her. How sorry she is that she treated me poorly, etc. It's all just nuts, and I can't simply not communicate, and I'm so confused as to why I'm feeling so hurt by all this stuff while I recognize the healthiest thing I can do for myself is truly let go. I have so many mixed emotions I can't even think about dating, or even chilling with someone new. I'm all over the place, mainly sad, it's so confusing. So many mixed signals, and I think my esteem has been shattered for awhile now.
Only with my daughter do I feel myself, she brings the best out in me, she always has, she's like sunshine on a rainy day, she's the best!
Apologies for such a long winded post, may not even make clear sense, just let my "swipe" keyboard go nuts for a bit
Hope you are all well!

So today was my first time seeing a pain management specialist. He told me i fit all of the criteria of fibro but he wants me to do some research and come back in a month before he puts the diagnosis on paper.
A bit of history: I 24f rode horses competitively for 13 years. I've taken 3 massive horse related accident that have cause soft tissue damage and severe to mild brain injuries. In 2022 me and my significant other were rear ended while at a stop light by some one going 83mph which resulted in another bad head injury, internal bruising, and of course some severe musculoskeletal issues. Over the years ive been told i have IBS, migraines, endometriosis (diagnosed by surgery), as well as a few mental health issues. I've tried physical therapy multiple times, done dry needling, trigger point massages, muscle scrapping, used tens units, hot/cold therapy, every medication from (gaba, flexeril, duloxetine, tramadole, robaxin, naltrexone, hydrocodone, NSAIDs, preventarive migraine medications, epidural steroid injections, trigger point injections, etc). I've been to neurology, neurosurgery, ortho, a back pain specialist for car accidents, pelvic floor specialists, etc. Never was any one able to tell me anything other than "wow your muscles are very reactive" "you have alot of scar tissue" "do you stretch? Your muscles are extremely tight" etc. I currently follow a PT regiment for a hip surgery (extreme labral tear, femorectomy(to help a bad impingment), cartlidge repair, and an attempt at arthritis removal) in january but incoperate previous PT exercises to try and help my back and neck. In total i stretch for 30 minutes 2-3x a day and do low impact exercises 1hr 30 minutes to 2 he 45 minutes a day. I gave birth june of last year so sometimes the exercise either gets spread out through out the the day or to the shorter 1.5 Hrs during a nap. After all of this i continued to have unexplained back and neck pain starting each day at a 6-7 out of 10 and usually not get more than 2 hours of sleep at a time. My PCP was prescribing 10 mg norco for flares (i have days where ill get migraines with endo pain and muscular flairs that leave me unable to move, nauseous, occasionally losing consciousness and i usually end up I'm the ER) along with robaxin and tylenol daily and this combination worked incredibly together but didn't do much of anything apart. It felt like i finally could function and had relief. Unfortunately she told me she couldn't continue to prescribe to me and needed me to go to a pain clinic so I agreed in hopes of more answers and maybe even finding a long term pain management plan.
The PM dr went through my history and ended up stopping and saying hey i think you have fibro. He pushed into some trigger points said "yep you're meeting all of the criteria". He then told me we will try acupuncture, more trigger point injections, and tizanidine. I agreed to these as I'm always open to new things or retrying things in a different combination. He gave the injections and told me i should feel it almost immediately but i unfortunately felt no relief and told him so. At the end of my appointment i asked if i could still have a rescue medication until we find a regiment that works well for me and he told me "if you were 50+ yes but you're too young for that route", said he will see me in 4 weeks, and walked out. I am still waiting for the tizanidine but he told me he is not optimistic it'll help much so im a bit scared now. I went into this appointment thinking id be helped and left feeling scared and grimm.

tldr: I ran The Portal for some friends, and we all had a good time. I'd call it successful because we had three characters out of 16 survive, one for each person playing, but they didn't get through everything. Could I have motivated better problem solving and a thirst for more exploration?
Background: Last year I fell in love with DCC after reading about it here and elsewhere. I bought a couple bundles and I convinced my friends to let me run it for an impromptu in-person session about a month ago, (We're all in our 40s and in other games so finding time to play is always going to be tricky.) We were all hanging out with them visiting for the weekend, and the DCC rulebook caught my friends eye. Since I had wanted to judge it, I suggested we try it out on their final night in town, and printed out five 0-level four member character sheets from Purple Sorcerer. There were three players, so my plan was to control two(!) of the 0 level sheets as 8 NPCs.
Session 0: This was done right before the first session, so maybe it doesn't count. I did go over how this game wasn't 5e, being less heroic, more deadly, and that the funnel was a way to play the game during the character creation process,
Spoilers follow for The Portal Under the Stars
Session 1: I had them each have a character named Roberts, with "Oldman Roberts" being their weird uncle, telling them about the Empty Star, the portal, and the riches that presumably lied within. They stopped at the town's single pub, gathered the crew, and headed for the portal. Once there, they spent impatiently picked the lock with a "lucky" roll, frying a promising character and setting the tone.
Three more got killed by the spear throwers, including an NPC with 18 intelligence, my bad. Finally, the falconer of the group sent her hawk through, trigging the last spear with no damage. So far I felt okay about how things were going, as they were starting to think laterally. However, nobody picked up the spears or armor until I had some of my NPCs do it.
The large statue room proved to be equally as deadly. The most intrepid of the party were spared, as they were standing under the giant statue, investigating it, when the first PC decided to leave the room, getting instantly BBQed. Another party member sent in her dog, which got fried, but then she got killed after she collapsed in grief beside it. A couple characters dashed through while the statue burned the others, and one genius player did think to pry off the entrance door and use it as a shield, but still four characters and the dog lied burned on the floor by the time the statue ran out of charges. I felt a little bad, since the death toll was already at eight with the judge's dice coming up badly for the PCs nearly every time. Now that I write this, it also seems that I gave the statue six charges instead of five. Oops.
The characters that had gone through the eastern door noped out of there when they saw the bone piles, and we ended up with three PCs following an NPC through the north door. Here's where I made another mistake. Since it had been some time since I had sent the NPC north, I decided that he had picked a fight with the crystal men and been killed. The PCs came in to see the crystal men all standing around the dead NPC and his torch. They took the wrong lesson that a fight was inevitable and immediately attacked. Amazingly, one PC felled two crystal men on his own, but the other two were brought down. With four crystal men still closing in on the last PC in the room we called it a night.
Session 2: About a month later we were able to meet virtually to finish things off, with me gifting the four remaining surviving NPCs to the players. Since I realized that I hadn't emphasized the importance of using luck, I retconned the last room, allowing one PC with a high luck score another chance to trip one of the crystal men with his staff. He succeeded this time with a modest luck burn. The players had figured out the light attraction by then, but refused to metagame, and the selfish PC who figured things out, Stealin' Roberts, refused to tell the others. I suppose this was consistent with his chaotic alignment, so one crystal man did follow them into the Strategy room, falling down the stairs. Three of the PCs finished off the stalker, found the silver figurine treasure, and things were finally looking up for the treasure hunters.
At last, they had made their way into the clay army room. The trailblazing PC wisely turned tail upon seeing the advancing army, going back to smash all of the clay figurines in the strategy room. Not bad thinking, but nope, the warlord wasn't dumb enough to set up a weakness like that. This showed the party how slow the clay soldiers were, as he had plenty of time to do it, but two of them still decided to test the statues' metal. They were quickly skewered by the surprisingly sharp clay spears. The remaining PC in the room ran away and hid in the Gazing Pool room for a few rounds, cowering in terror behind a column.
Meanwhile, one PC made his way through the hallway west of the Monument Hall, cautiously opening the door to the Scrying chamber. SSisssuraaaggg didn't care how cautious he was, the PC lost initiative, and died in one bite. So much for that room.
Three other PCs made their way into the Cheiftains' Burial room, and made short work of the seven skulls with only five points of luck burned. Still, one skull did manage to kill a PC in a single calf chomp. The PC in the Gazing Pool room grew tired of hiding in the dark and groped his way to the burial chamber, so unfortunately nobody witnessed the army fall into chaos after the generals' skulls were smashed. The three reunited survivors looted the chamber and hightailed it out of the tomb, happy to survive.
I couldn't argue with their decision to survive, and I plan to award a luck point to the neutral alignment PC who suggested leaving, but it was certainly anticlimactic! I feel like the scenario is flawed in this aspect. Could I or should I have motivated the players to stay for a little longer? They never really tried to figure out why the place existed in the first place. Leaving was very consistent with the old-school mentality, but maybe not so consistent with the funnel spirit. This scenario was harder than I thought, I even skipped "attacks of opportunity" on retreating PCs to lower the difficulty a bit.
Lesson learned - my snap decision of having 8 NPCs caused problems. The players kept trying to force the NPCs ahead, etc, and it was too much for me to judge my first session while controlling 8 NPCs. Although the players did end up needing the extra spear fodder and that worked out, I should have instead just adjusted the difficulty of the scenario down a little by reducing the number of spear throwers, the number of flame thrower charges, etc.

18th February 1966;

Sault South, UP, SCS;

“It’s at breaking point, and you’re apparently the source of the madness. Tell me, how do you feel about this, Mister Laurie Evelyn Aspen, considering the rumours flowing through the entire country about the cause for such major unrest.”
That was a loaded question, and instantaneously, Aspen was reminded where he was being interviewed - it was the Disembarkment Show on the SuperiorSide Radio, a pirate station that was being ‘tolerated’ by the governmental overlords. Of course, they would not be too critical of the government, just because they were not idiots, and that meant Aspen, the local Member, could never be on the best terms considering how he only tolerated Nixon and company. Furthermore, he had plans to begin his own party, alongside his army-side friend that was Colonel Atterman, namely the Organisation For Honor. Of course, he had therefore been announced as an ‘independent Member, and one to remain so for the far-future’, by the host Raymond Lefevre, whom he sat opposite.
He thanked the gods that he was being interviewed on radio and not television - on the small screen, everyone would spot his heavy nerve-sweating.
“Well… well…” started Aspen, tripping over the words now stuck in his head, “that… I cannot consider to be the case. I told them that they could order new army equipment if they wished to give more people more benefits. I have ran on a platform of better defence for our lands - I’ve seen major devastation before, remember that war just a half-decade ago. Am I the only one concerned? If we want to follow our LM’s doctrine, then we need a Superior force to challenge the best, simply put. We need that, every day of every year.”
“I know that, as somebody who also grew up around here, but Laurie, have you stopped the benefits package from coming through? People are still pretty mad, and that includes quite a lot of the Liberal-Labour’s own supporters, and perhaps many around here too. Thoughts?” asked Lefevre, hoping to eek out a slip that could be used to humour.
"No thoughts, only fact. I have approved of their next package, which is to increase the length of maternity leave and introduce the concept of paternity leave. I think it’s a risky thing to give the protesters more time, but if they can show themselves to be willing to raise a family and follow our traditional values, then they can show themselves to be brilliant citizens. Every man can hold a rifle, every woman can make another, that kind of attit’ wins wars. Plus, they also want to raise the minimum wage a bit higher, just to get them a bit happier, but I don’t want that to detract from the military. After all, Raymond--”
“It’s why you’re here, Laurie, yep. Well, any future plans? Might as well say them here, those across the water won’t be taking notes on any talk.” Raymond wanted just a little extra, just to fill out the interview slot before he put on ‘Egyptian B-Flat Major’ by Drifting En De Nile from Sun-Ra, so just one bit extra would do.
“Well, I’ll just prove you wrong from earlier. Am planning to expand my platform into my own party, that’s O4H, and to be honest, we’re here to enact a strengthening, to save Superior, and to keep our allies impressed. I’ve people within the army whom I’m consulting with to find our way, soon you’ll see it as the 67 elections arrive. That it for today?” ended off Aspen, with that devilish smile.
“Uh yes, so thank you ever so much Member Aspen for being with us, and now, we have a wonderful swing piece imported from a great distance; they call it Egyptian B-Flat Minor, and call the band Drifting En De Nile, here’s to it!”
{Paternity Leave 6 weeks, Maternity Leave 12 Weeks}

Of course I've heard of burnout. I've known I've been chronically stressed for years. There are numerous aspects of my life that have put me at high risk of burnout. Lawyer - check. Business owner - check. Business struggling - check, check. Mom of autistic child - check, check aaaand... CHECK. Now trying to stay healthy while getting older, keeping my video game-loving husband on track, and ALL the meetings with ALL the therapists AND teachers AND doctors, AND the kindergarten transition, and IEP's and different therapies and exposures and swim lessons because he "cannot appreciate danger..."
I have hit a wall. I am SO.TIRED.
Fortunately, my son is okay. Still well-cared for. Still in therapy. Still in school. Happy as a clam.
But I am F A I L I N G at work!!! I am emotionally and physically exhausted. I am apathetic. I can't bring myself to do much or follow through on things. I am moving slowly on everything. I won't talk to people I don't absolutely need to speak to; and I'm even avoiding talking to some people I really should be speaking to. I have been feeling and acting this way for about 2 or 3 weeks now. And in the kind of deadline-sensitive field I work in, this is NOT good.
I would like to quit, but I own the company and it's attached to me like a wart on a pig's bottom. And with pending cases, it's not so easy to just wind down. Also, I may just be reacting to working and handling therapies almost every day since last November. So I'm gonna try to see if I can take some time off in the near future, but things are not looking good.
Any other burned out working parents out there?