I don’t know if this is the right group for this but any feedback would be appreciated. The books is m/m romance, road-trip book.
What’s harder than cycling hundreds of miles down the west coast? Doing it with the annoyingly hot guy who hates your guts.
Cal is excited to go on a two-week cycling trip with his best friends. He doesn’t want, he needs the relaxation in order to kill his artist’s block—he has a new show coming up and he's nowhere near finished. However, things get complicated when one of his best friends, Alex, brings her standoffish brother Nate along for the ride without telling him. Which would be fine if the guy wasn’t a total jerk.
Sharing a tent with this guy every night should prove to be impossible, so when he and Nate actually start to get along he’s surprised. But Cal isn’t looking for love, he’s already been burned one too many times.
And so what if the guy has a couple good qualities, it doesn’t mean anything, right? Nate is a fancy coder and an obsessive cyclist with all the latest gear. He’s too black and white, too rigid, too perfect.
The total opposite of Cal, who’s had more jobs than he can count. He’s a mess. No way could they ever work out. Not to mention keeping a secret that huge from his two best friends might just be more than he can take.
Only 856 more miles to go. Can Cal and Nate put their differences aside to make this thing work?
Get ready for a swoony road trip story that features light enemies to lovers, only one bed, my best friend’s brother, a secret romance, and a vacation fling as a few of the tropes. From the meet-cute to the happily ever after 100 Miles Until I Love You crafts a charming romance you won’t want to miss.

The job market is tough out there, but I noticed a few people I know who seem to to be doing ok and picked their brain to understand why.
Note that these experiences are specific to California tech industry (mix of swe, pm, sales, ds) and isn't very helpful if you're looking for a job right now. But it's helpful for thinking about how to build a career that makes it so you don't need to job search again.
1. They don't apply to jobs
They get multiple interviews and job offers per year through a mixture of cold outreach from recruiters and people they worked with in the past asking them to join them. They almost never apply to jobs, and when they do it's when they aren't actively looking to change jobs but because the role is a uniquely good fit for what they're interested in. Earlier in their careers they got recruited by no-name or not very high quality companies, but as time went on (5+ years) they started to get recruited by big tech or hot tech startups.
2. They've interviewed at least a few times per year for their entire career, even when they didn't need to
They do this to keep their interview skills fresh and to understand what skills the market is seeking or headed in. This helps them figure out which projects and teams to transfer to. These are generally interviews they got from #1
They get these interviews thru 2 main ways:
3. They have a clear brand that jumps off their Linkedin profiles
One person I have in mind has a strong record in ecommerce sales and a record of being promoted and eventually got good brand names on their resume. Another person has a mixture of work, volunteer, and personal projects that show their competency in data science. When recruiters keyword search for terms related to these roles, they're likely to come up in their results.
4. They built credibility in all of their past jobs. Their colleagues left and recruited them.
These people didn't job hop every year. They stayed in each place for a couple years, or in any case built up enough credibility so that when their colleagues joined new companies and were looking for people, they were the first ones they asked to come along. Interestingly, some of these people weren't well-liked by their referrals, but their reputation was strong enough
I know this isn't very short-term practical advice, but hope people get some value from it!

Hello! I have been working at the place I interned at last year for the last 6 months while I finish up grad school. I help coordinate admissions because we offer Residential Level of Care. I was offered a therapist job there and was basically like “sure, I am interested” when offered the potential position.
However, it feels like working for a start up? Like everyone is working a LOT, we are always short staffed, there is no holidays off/holiday pay, pay is low, residential seems like something I am not interested in, there is a lot of volun-telling, and all of the clinicians constantly seemed burnt out/short on money. My friend took a therapist role there as well, and she has been overworked, exhausted, and sadder than usual. She is looking at other jobs for herself.
My executive director keeps asking about “when I start”. I am not sure if I want to be there anymore. However, I am scared to mention looking around or the fact that I have upcoming interviews because it seems like they have kind of burned other people who mentioned wanting to quit or wanting more pay (ex: took away clients from a clinician who mentioned potentially leaving, telling her she didn’t have enough service units, then threatening to move her down to part time).
Any advice on if I should tell them I want to apply to other jobs, or how I should quit without burning bridges? I have interviews this week and believe I will likely get the role. I am nervous about leaving them hanging especially since a few people quit recently.
Thank you all!

I am STILL NOT the Original Poster. That is u/ta-bff-234324. He posted in AITAH and amiwrong but posted the same text in both subreddits. I chose to use the ones from AITAH
Thanks again to u/Literally_Taken for the rec and to Choice Evidence and u/chickenoodledeprived for letting me know about the update!
Previous BORU here. New update marked with ****\*
Trigger Warning: racism
Mood Spoiler: tentatively happy ending
Original Post: April 1, 2024
My (29M) best friend Jess (29F) keeps on mentioning my ex (29F) in front of my fiancee, and I am thinking of cutting her off. I want to know if I am overreacting, or if Jess is in the wrong.
For context, Jess and I went to the same high school and the same college. We were friends in high school. However, since we both went to the same out-of-state college, we became best friends since then. We have always been there for each other during the best and worst times. However, things have always been platonic, and she is more like a big sister to me, who made sure I stay on the right track.
I have only been in two long-term relationships so far. One was with my ex Lisa for 7 years. We met in college and dated all through our college years. Lisa and Jess also became good friends, too. After college, Lisa and I just grew apart and had different goals in life. I became "boring" after college as I was working on my PhD while doing a full time job. Lisa broke up with me as she wanted to party on weekends, while I was home studying. I was heartbroken, but I don't think I ever blamed her or had resentment towards her, as I understood my decisions were selfish and should not hold her back from having the best life.
Jess always stood by me and comforted me during that time. Jess and Lisa were good friends and Jess always kept on telling me that Lisa loves me and will be back one day when I am ready. I foolishly held on to that hope and stayed friends with Lisa. That was until I met my fiancee Yang. After I finished my PhD, I got a nice job in a big tech company. Yang joined our team a year after me. We started going out for drinks, and dinner and we started dating seriously pretty soon. We are happy together, and financially in a great place. Needless to say, I stopped talking to Lisa after I started dating Yang.
I proposed to Yang a year after we started dating and got engaged last year. Jess has been acting weirdly since we got engaged. One of the first things she said to Yang after we got engaged was how I had planned the same thing for Lisa (proposing on a local hiking trail). It was a bit off-putting that she was bringing up Lisa whom I broke up with almost 5 years ago on such a happy occasion. However, Yang asked me to not spoil my mood, as she felt Jess was just commenting on how I had that plan in mind for years. Since then, every time we meet, Jess without fail brings up Lisa and how the things I am doing are all the things I had planned with Lisa. This happened when we bought a house, planned for vacations, etc. Jess always starts with some nostalgic story and then brings up how Lisa and I were so happy together. She is still good friends with Lisa and keeps giving me updates about Lisa and how great Lisa is doing at work when no one is asking for it. It felt like she was painting a rosy picture of Lisa to Yang and telling Yang that she would always be second to Lisa.
Yang told me Jess's comments bothered her, and I also felt the same. I have brought this up with Jess many times and asked her not to do it. However, she says she will try but since I dated Lisa for 7 years, she would be part of many stories from the past. Also, she asked me why talking about Lisa bothers me and if I still have feelings for her. I have reduced hanging out with Jess. However, she is close with my mom and is always invited to all our family parties and holidays.
I talked to my mom and sister about this and they feel I am overreacting. They feel Jess is just telling stories and since the stories are mostly from college days and later, Lisa will be a character in the story. They also feel I should not be bothered by Jess mentioning Lisa since we broke up a long time ago. I feel that it's disrespectful to Yang as she doesn't need to hear about all the fun Lisa and I had when we were together and how we were planning to get married. Do you think I am the asshole to stop here or Jess is truly acting out of line?
Relevant Comments:
Commenter: Probably need to separate your time with your fiancé away from your friend. ... On a side note, your friend comes across poorly on one other aspect. When you were too busy to date so you could study. She is encouraging you to stay available while your ex goes about dating around? Think she ever encouraged your ex to not? Or do you think she was telling your ex she could have all the fun she wanted cause you'd still be around? Food for thought.

OOP: She thought we were 24 when we broke up and she always justified that Lisa was young and it's natural to date around before you settle down. She also encouraged me to do the same. However, after my breakup, I decided that I would not be in a relationship (based on what happened to the previous one) and never dated anyone until after I graduated.

Commenter: Not wrong, in fact it's thoughtful of your finace's feelings. " Jess always kept on telling me that Lisa loves me and will be back one day when I am ready." - yikes.
An easy: "Jess, you keep bringing up my ex, and keep making comments which are dismissive of my relationship with Yang. I am telling you point blank that this is harming our friendship and it saddens me that you dismiss my feelings as being unimportant on this topic. If you can't respect me, and my relationship with Yang, please understand why it will likely end our friendship."

OOP: We have had this exact conversation. Jess then proceeded to ask Yang is she offended by her telling stories about me. Yang was polite and said she is ok. Then she told me I am being too sensitive.

Commenter: Op do you know if Lisa is married? Maybe Jess is trying to sabotage your engagement so you can be with Lisa.

OOP: I know Lisa is single. She has not been in any serious long term relationship after me. Infant, Jess always makes it a point to bring that up regularly and update me, even after I tell her I have no interest. My mom loves gossip and they also discuss a out Lisa regularly.

Jess is just being a mean girl/have you talked to Lisa at all?
At this point, I suspect Jess is just being mean to Yang. I would have cut her off long ago if she was not so close to me or my family for so many years.
Lisa is out of the picture, to be honest. I have completely gone no contact with her for the last 2 years.
Jess has feelings for you:
That's not true. I did not write it since I thought it was irrelevant, but Jess is happily married and has a 3 year old kid.
There is no consensus bot on AITAH, but top comments were NTA
Update Post: April 23, 2024 (22 days later)
I wrote a post a month ago regarding my friend Jess mentioning my ex constantly in front of my fiancée. Thanks to everyone who commented, and how inappropriate it was. However, the last month has been nothing but crazy and I still trying to make sense of what happened so far.
After my post, I decided to talk to Jess and gave her an ultimatum not to speak about my ex Lisa again. I know Jess and Lisa are still friends, but I was uncomfortable of her comparing my fiancée Yang with Lisa all the time. I broke up with Lisa 5 years ago, and she is nothing but a faint memory in my past. Jess kept on defending herself and telling me that I was with Lisa for most of my adult life and it's hard to tell any stories from the past without including her. She also blamed me for being emotionally childish and just forgetting about Lisa when she was with me for 7 years. Finally, Jess agreed that she will not bring up Lisa in front of Yang, and I should also not treat Lisa as she does not exist since she is still Jess's friend. I informed Yang about our conversation. Although she was appreciative about it, she said I did not need to do it and she knows how much I love her and every time Jess brings up my Lisa, she feels sorry for Lisa that she let a guy like me go.
Yang went to visit China two weeks ago for a month as we plan to get married in her hometown. She is taking care of her shopping as well as preparations for the wedding. Jess invited me to her house that Friday for dinner as I was home alone. I am also good friends with her husband, and we were all just chatting and drinking in the living room. Around 7.30pm, the doorbell rang, and Jess excitedly went to open the door. To my surprise, it was fucking Lisa at the door. She was all dressed up as if she were ready for a date and came in. I had not seen her in person for almost 3 years and I was shocked to see her. She sat down and started making small talk with me. I was extremely uncomfortable and went into the kitchen to talk to Jess. I was angry at her and asked her what was going on. She kept on telling me that it's been 5 years since the breakup and to get over it and be nice to Lisa. She said Lisa was excited to meet me and she thought we were all adults and could have one fun evening together. We had a fight and I told her that she should not have invited Lisa after our conversation the other day and I do not want to be friends with her anymore. I went into the living room and politely excused myself and told everyone that I had a work emergency and had to leave early. Lisa looked sad, but I genuinely felt uncomfortable to be made to hang out with my ex without my consent.
I came home and called Yang. I have never seen her more furious, and she told me she is not comfortable with Jess anymore as she has some agenda that we do not know about. It's different to talk about Lisa, but to invite her without consulting is not ok. I also felt the same and I called Jess the next day and told her that she crossed a line, and I was terribly upset with her. I stopped taking her calls and ghosted her. I also told my mom and sister about the whole incident.
Last Sunday, my mom called me for lunch. When I got there, I saw Jess was already there. I told my mom that I do not want to talk to Jess and can't stay. However, she asked me to sit as they all wanted to talk to me. I have a glutton for punishment and decided to hear them out. My mom started with how Jess has been there for me all these years and only has my best interest at heart. She kept on telling me that they are the three people (mom, sister, and Jess) that love me the most. Jess started saying how she felt that I was making a big mistake in not having to hear what Lisa had to say. She told me that Lisa was my first love and Lisa is now ready to settle down and we can pick where we left off. She reminded me how broken I was when Lisa left me and how life is giving me a second chance. My sister also chimed in and said how they all liked Lisa more than Yang and how we both looked so great together. Finally, my mom started saying how our culture was so different than Yang and it is hard for them to relate to her. I asked them in what way, and my mom said that they did not understand what Yang says sometimes and have nothing in common with her. Then my mom asked me to think about how Lisa and I would have such wonderful looking kids, while if I marry Yang, our kids will look so different. I started getting their drift and I probed more. My mom told me how our kids would look Asian with "small eyes" and not like any others in the family.
I asked my mom if she cared about my kids looks more and not about how smart they will be since Yang has a PhD. She blew it off, and I realized she just did not want me to marry Yang because she was Chinese and not white. My mom told me to forgive Jess and my mom asked Jess to talk to Lisa on my behalf and asked her if she would be interested in getting back together with me. My mom was adamant that since I loved Lisa so much, I should be happy and pick up things where we left off as that is the best for everyone. I have never been so angry and may have said a lot of unkind things to all of them before I left
I am so depressed right now. I not only lost my best friend, but also am not sure how I can move on from what my mom said. My mom and sister raised me and that is the reason where I am today. However, I cannot get over how racist they are being and how they were just pretending to like Yang all these years while actively working on breaking us up. I have been so shocked that I have not told any of this to Yang so far. I might wait for her to come back next week and talk to her in person.
Again, thanks everyone for all your messages on the last post as they helped me a lot to think through the situation. My life is more fucked up than I could imagine, and I cannot imagine how dejected Yang will feel after hearing all this.
*****New Update Post: May 7, 2024 (5 weeks after OG post)****\*
I wrote a post two months ago regarding my best friend Jess constantly bringing up my ex when talking to my fiancée Yang. I wrote an update two weeks ago about my mom, sister and Jess scheming about trying to get me back with my ex Lisa because they were uncomfortable with Yang being Chinese. They tried to do it when my fiancée was visiting her parents and I felt so betrayed by their actions.
As I said in the previous post, I blew up on my mom and sister about what they said and immediately left. I did not take calls from them or answer texts for the next several days. Their messages initially were anger towards me on why I left before they could finish what they wanted to say. However, I think they realized on day 3 that they might have crossed the line this time and became extremely apologetic. I finally messaged them to leave me alone and not to contact Yang or I until we contact them. Jess did not message me the whole time.
I did not tell Yang about the situation until she came back home 9 days ago. I initially did not know how to bring up the subject, but she sensed something was wrong and asked me about it. I was so worried about hurting her, but I told her about what happened. I was upfront about the stunt Jess pulled and she was angry at Jess. I also told her about my visit to my mother's place, but she did not react with any anger. She just asked me if I was ok.
The next few days were confusing where I was more upset than Yang. She was just excited showing me all pictures and telling me stories. Finally, on last Thursday evening, she opened up and asked me if I was ok about my mom's behavior and what I plan to do. I told her my thoughts and how I cannot forgive them for what they said about her being Asian and them wanting me to marry a Lisa because she was white. I asked her why she was not more upset as it was bothering me.
She told me that when she told her parents about me, they had the exact same reaction for her dating someone who was not Chinese. Her family is very traditional, and her parents were very upset about her decision. It took them a few months to warm up to me and accept me. She never told me about this because she wanted me to have good relationship with her parents. She told me that now they are the most excited doing arrangements for our wedding.
She told me that she has always felt something was off when she talked to my mom, my sister or Jess and they did not like her. My mom and sister would be very friendly with her in front of me, but never invited her for anything when I am not around. She suspected that it may be due to fact that she is not white and does not understand the American traditions. She said she is not upset with them and now that this is in the open, she should talk to them and assure them that she would be as good of a wife as Lisa or any other girl. She said that she does not want to break a family in order to start a new one.
Despite my protests, Yang invited my mom and sister for lunch on Sunday. She said that it would be good for us to talk about everything and hear why they are concerned about her marrying me. I was really not happy with this, but Yang spent most of Sunday morning cooking for them.
When my mom and sister arrived, there were a lot of waterworks and apologies. My mom apologized to Yang and me for her behavior and told us that she would never bring it up again. My sister also was quiet and had tears in her eyes. There were a lot of blame games. My mom and my sister were blaming Jess for constantly telling them how Yang might not be great for me and how she won't fit into our family. My mom and sister fought with Jess after I left and Jess blamed Lisa. Based on Jess's story, Lisa has been depressed for the last few years and when I suddenly got engaged to Yang, it became worse. Jess thought I was also depressed after Lisa left me, because I did not date anyone for 3 years. In reality, I just wanted to focus on my work and studies and never had time. So, Lisa convinced Jess that she has to get back together with me as that is what I wanted too. Jess said how sorry she felt for Lisa as she was her longtime friend and listened to her plan as she thought it was good for everyone.
My mom and sister told us that I should stay away from Jess because she orchestrated the whole situation. They kept on hugging Yang and apologizing to her. Yang in turn also started crying and telling them that she will do better to fit in with them. It was all a big mess. I am still skeptical of my mom's change in heart, but I also want to see Yang happy. However, I think it will take a lot of time and healing before I could truly trust my mom and sister.
Currently, my mom invited us to lunch at her place next week and told me that Jess will not be there. Jess has still not message me or Yang. I really don't know what I can do in this situation. I am still upset and furious at my mom, but I also want to respect Yang's effort to keep the family together. Thanks to everyone for all the messages and supportive comments. It really helped reading them when I was feeling very sad.

I am NOT the Original Poster. That is u/Remarkable_Treat_636. He posted in AmItheAsshole
Trigger Warnings: miscarriage; depression; addiction
Mood Spoiler: tentatively hopeful ending?
Original Post: May 6, 2024
I (20m) and my sister (23) have been very close since she lost her baby. She lost the baby at the end of 2022, when she was about 5 months pregnant. Obviously our whole family was shocked and very supportive initially. However I really tried to help her through this and get her back on her feet. Coming to her apartment to clean, and cook her food. It also doesn’t help that her baby daddy left shortly after. My sister was unable to work because of her depression, so my family would help chip in and pay her bills. She remained like this for about 7 months when my parents told her that they couldn’t no longer support her, when all she does is lay in bed (and smoke a lot, like 24/7, but they don’t know that), and that she at least needs to look for a job. She lashed out and said she needs their support now more than ever. Regardless of them, I began to solely supporting her. Mind you I still live with my parents and attending school.
That brings us to last Friday, I have about 3 semesters left of school and money has been getting tight. I told my sister that I really need to start saving, and that she needs to get a job, or just move back in. She lashed out on me, saying that I could never understand (100% true) and that I was a terrible brother for even mentioning it. I said excuse me? I’ve paying for your bills for over a year, and have been the only one trying to help her get over this. She began yelling at me and calling me terrible names. I just snapped and said idgaf about her dead baby. I did none of this for that baby. I helped her because I love my sister, I want what’s best for my sister, I want her to recover. I told her this and just she started attacking me. I just left.
The next morning my parents sat me down, and told me what I said was very wrong and rude. I explained what happened and how I still continued paying her bills after they stopped. They just were quiet, and then just left. My mother grabbed my shoulder and told me that my sister started apply for jobs.
I really feel bad, but also to a certain degree it worked and she is at least looking to work. I know my sister will forgive me eventually but I still feel bad. AITA?
Relevant Comments:
Commenter: You shouldn't have said you don't care about the baby... but. But she was clearly in a hole she had no intention of climbing out of, and sometimes the only way to help people like that is to toss in a stick of dynamite and blast them out, which is precisely what you did. The question is how much did it help, and I have a feeling the answer is "not a whole lot".
ESH, especially your parents for essentially letting your sister vegetate in a pot of grief rather than get her into some kind of counseling or therapy.

OOP: Yk you bring up an off topic point. She has been in therapy since shortly after losing her baby. So I’m wondering why the therapy has had no progress and how is her therapist just fine with her like this, without offering additional help. Idk sorry
OOP clarifies in a different comment: Btw I have paid for my sister therapy (off and on) since she lost the baby. And solely after my parents cut her finically

Commenter (downvoted): Are you a child? You have to be if you think therapy is a cure all. Many folks spend the rest of their lives dealing with problems in therapy.

OOP: No, personally I don’t think therapy is for everyone. But it’s annoying thinking how I paid for her appointments to see no progress.

Commenter: Just because you don't see it doesn't mean it isn't there.

OOP: Yeah but when you pay for it for a little less than a year, you’d want to see some progress. Idk I’m not mad at her, rather the waste of money I used on therapy. Regardless I’ll see her tonight and I’ll ask if she feels any improvement from the therapy

Deleted Commenter: Even if there is 1% improvement, it should be worth it. Something like this can take months or years of forever. YTA for expecting grief to be 'fixed' with your set time limit and talking about 'wasting money' when you claim you spend money out of love. You also probably ruined her progress of getting better by what you said to her.While I get that it's frustrating on your end financially, there are better ways to express that. Perhaps you might need therapy as well.

OOP: I think my tone was off. Honestly idc about the therapy or even paying for it. In my mind I rationalized the price of the therapy for the improvement of my sister. But when you see that price it just looks terrible when you don’t see improvement in over a year. I’m not mad at her or the therapist, just aggravated yk?

Commenter: I’m going to be the odd ball and say yes AH, with that being said I totally get why you snapped but as someone that has miscarried before it was the most painful thing I had ever gone through.

OOP: Hey don’t feel odd or outcast of your opinion. All the comments benefit me and help reflect.

OOP ends with:
My sister going to come for dinner, where we will fs talk about what happened. If you guys are interested in an update lmk.
OOP is voted ESH- everyone sucks here
Update Comment: May 7, 2024 (Next Day)
UPDATE
I am very thankful for all the women who shared their experiences and gave me an insight on how my sister is feeling that I would’ve never been able to have. For that I am extremely grateful.
My sister came over for dinner, we didn’t make much contact in the beginning. Our parents didn’t try to make us talk nor bring up our last argument. Dinner was very awkward with very little conversation. We finished eating and my parents left to clean the mess. Which left me and my sister, we made some small talk when I just offered to go outside to talk.
Once we were outside I immediately apologized for what I said, but she cut me off before I could finish. She said she was thankful for me and everything I have done for her. We continued to talk till it was late. She brought up how she applied for 3 jobs in our area. We ended our conversation talking about how stuff happens and sometimes you can only do anything besides pick yourself and move forward , and try not to look back. She hugged me, (no tears) said thanks and left.
I will still continue to pay her bills till she gets back on her feet. The bad blood seems to be gone. At this point I’m not sure if regret what I said, but the damage doesn’t seem impactful. I appreciate all the people who commented.

I (f 22) met (m 25) last year. From the start I made it very clear that I was not interested in an exclusive serious relationship. I was just starting my final year of university and knew I was going to be working abroad for at least four months. I didn’t want to be in a committed relationship so I could truly focus on graduating and deciding my next goal/ move without having someone else rely on me. I knew quite quickly that he was falling for me faster than I was for him. While he has remained very understanding, I've noticed some developing habits that I find confusing (at least for me). It started minor, like always ordering the same things I do (food, drinks), copying the way I talk (I understand the more time you spend with others, the more likely you are to pick up your vocabulary), and trying to dress more in my style ( very different from his original ). These things don't bother me as I understand he wants to show an interest in what I enjoy. However, I'm worried he is not respecting my desire to remain independent based on my current situation. He makes plans for us without asking me (the whole weekend and a few days a week), constantly wants to drop things off to give me, refuses to eat shellfish (I'm allergic but can still be around it) despite him loving it, and repeatedly tickles me despite me telling him I don't like to be touched in that way (I'm just not a touchy person in that sense ). While these things are lovely, I'm starting to feel slightly overwhelmed, and while I hate saying this word, I'm feeling somewhat love-bombed. He is not my boyfriend, and this seems like too much. The job I have is for a little less than half a year, but it could lead to more. When I told him this, he said I was " worth the wait" and was beginning to talk more about the future together. I'm starting to feel more pressured despite me telling him I was trying to focus on myself and my overall future. I don't know if I'm being overdramatic due to stress and anxiety or if I have the right to feel this way. Now I’m four months into my abroad job and he is coming to visit. I’m both excited and nervous about it. I’m due to move back home soon. I feel like I’ve changed, matured, and grown. I’m moving back home, and I gotta get a new job. I’m extremely stress and suffocated I don’t know what to do. Overall, he is a sweet guy, but I'm starting to feel slightly suffocated. I'd appreciate some advice. I feel heartless and confused.

I’m not sure if this is the right group for this, but any help or feedback would be appreciated.
What’s harder than cycling hundreds of miles down the west coast? Doing it with the annoyingly hot guy who hates your guts.
Cal is excited to go on a two-week cycling trip with his best friends. He doesn’t want, he needs the relaxation in order to kill his artist’s block—he has a new show coming up and he's nowhere near finished. However, things get complicated when one of his best friends, Alex, brings her standoffish brother Nate along for the ride without telling him. Which would be fine if the guy wasn’t a total jerk.
Sharing a tent with this guy every night should prove to be impossible, so when he and Nate actually start to get along he’s surprised. But Cal isn’t looking for love, he’s already been burned one too many times.
And so what if the guy has a couple good qualities, it doesn’t mean anything, right? Nate is a fancy coder and an obsessive cyclist with all the latest gear. He’s too black and white, too rigid, too perfect.
The total opposite of Cal, who’s had more jobs than he can count. He’s a mess. No way could they ever work out. Not to mention keeping a secret that huge from his two best friends might just be more than he can take.
Only 856 more miles to go. Can Cal and Nate put their differences aside to make this thing work?
Get ready for a swoony road trip story that features light enemies to lovers, only one bed, my best friend’s brother, a secret romance, and a vacation fling as a few of the tropes. From the meet-cute to the happily ever after 100 Miles Until I Love You crafts a charming romance you won’t want to miss.

Hey there docs and students. I'm doing an AI in neonatology this summer at my top choice for residency - I can't wait to spend a month with them. My dates were pretty inflexible so I had to go with my second choice over hospital pediatrics (full), which is neonatology, split between NICU and newborn nursery. I loved my 3rd year rotation in neonatology and am definitely interested in it as a career. I'll admit though, I'm nervous to do this as my away since I don't have nearly as much experience in the field as I do with hospital med (2 weeks with neonatology vs. 8 weeks total inpatient between peds and internal, plus shadowing).
Any advice on how to best prepare for a neonatology/NICU AI at a competitive program? Suggestions on what to read up on for physical exams and being familiar with rare pathologies? Anything I absolutely SHOULD NOT FUCK UP during my time there to leave good impressions? I have a good idea of what they'll expect of me but I don't want to show up clueless - I know they won't expect me to be a master or anything but I'm starting to realize how tough this may be.
Thanks in advance! Happy to provide more info if needed.

I’m not sure what group to put this in, but if you could read my blurb and give advice that would be great. It’s a m/m romance road-trip book.
What’s harder than cycling hundreds of miles down the west coast? Doing it with the annoyingly hot guy who hates your guts.
Cal is excited to go on a two-week cycling trip with his best friends. He doesn’t want, he needs the relaxation in order to kill his artist’s block—he has a new show coming up and he's nowhere near finished. However, things get complicated when one of his best friends, Alex, brings her standoffish brother Nate along for the ride without telling him. Which would be fine if the guy wasn’t a total jerk.
Sharing a tent with this guy every night should prove to be impossible, so when he and Nate actually start to get along he’s surprised. But Cal isn’t looking for love, he’s already been burned one too many times.
And so what if the guy has a couple good qualities, it doesn’t mean anything, right? Nate is a fancy coder and an obsessive cyclist with all the latest gear. He’s too black and white, too rigid, too perfect.
The total opposite of Cal, who’s had more jobs than he can count. He’s a mess. No way could they ever work out. Not to mention keeping a secret that huge from his two best friends might just be more than he can take.
Only 856 more miles to go. Can Cal and Nate put their differences aside to make this thing work?
Get ready for a swoony road trip story that features light enemies to lovers, only one bed, my best friend’s brother, a secret romance, and a vacation fling as a few of the tropes. From the meet-cute to the happily ever after 100 Miles Until I Love You crafts a charming romance you won’t want to miss.

40 yrs old, single, work part time 20K a year
Next to no skills, no education
105K in VTSAX
100K in VGT
180K in cash earning 5% which I'm pulling the interest to live
30K in Roth IRA all VTSAX
Zero debt, paid off car, I rent, no property
No 401K, no pension
I made the money I have mostly from my last career that paid well, but the industry doesn't exist anymore and I've been trying to find something new. so much in VGT cause its gone up a lot and had VGT for over 7 years. I'm scared to invest all that cash cause again i have no skills and barely have a job so i feel like that cash is my life savor Thanks

Little Author's Note up here since it was missed in the last chapter by some people: I don't approve of anyone "narrating" or using my story for their youtube channels or whatever as it makes me uncomfortable. I’ve been getting messages whenever I post a chapter asking the same thing and I keep saying no. If you see this story on youtube or elsewhere, I didn’t approve of it or give them my permission to do so.
Cerelia, Altrin Female, Captain of The Opal Star
I smirk at my wrist data pad as I can see Triwt is basically hunting and chasing down the remaining pirates while expertly leading them to me for a trap.
“Triwt, you know me so well.” I say with a fully smug tone as I ready my rifle and prepare to open fire.
Not yet
The footsteps are getting louder.
Not yet…
The footsteps, given how good my hearing is, have now rounded the corner and there’s a shriek of terror.
“Boys! Turn back and save your damn Captain! The damn girl has me!”
I can’t help but smirk, it seems the ugly bastard did come aboard the ship. What’s better is that Triwt has grabbed him, leaving the remaining 4 pirates not looking this way.
Now.
Triwt, Female Valis-Trobat Hybrid, Security Commander
I’m slightly annoyed as I have to constantly weave and dodge going through the corridor. These dumb asses aren’t even aiming where they're shooting. I quickly duck low to the ground to dodge a barrage of plasma bolts, when I hear the one thing I was looking forward to. Click click click…
Silence follows the clicking of empty TOR’s besides the frantic running. It’s then replaced by one of the pirates, not the Captain, shrieking as she runs ahead of the others in a panic. In no sense am I a sadistic person, but however in this situation, I might have smiled a bit to her reaction as I pick up the pace and quickly enter melee range.
Hm, maybe we can afford one prisoner…
I see the corner coming up as I whip my body around and grab the Captain with my tail.
EWWWW He’s all slimy and mucusy! Goddess this is worse than Jordan Cores bleeding on my fur. EWWW!!!
“Boys! Turn back and save your damn Captain! The damn girl has me!”
Despite my own internal hatred of the sensation of having to get that gross slime like mucus on my tail of all things, I still pull the Captain back as they round the corner looking back at me as they abandon their captain. I give them a wave right before a hail of gunfire shreds through them, leaving only a fine mist.
I’m surprised Cerelia is allowed to even own such a modified weapon. I can’t even shoot it while holding it with all 4 of my arms due to the recoil! She says it’s registered as a ceremonial weapon. I suppose a sudden funeral is a ceremony in itself.
I smirk at the thought before returning my attention to this gross captain wrapped up in my tail.
Cerelia, Altrin Female, Captain of The Opal Star
I let out a relaxed sigh as I released the trigger from my grip. I don’t particularly enjoy battle, but there seems to be something within my own instincts that triggers dopamine at the end of a battle.
Probably something to do with Altrins being a hunter race before we were modern and spacefaring. Might have to ask a historian about that, if not at the very least a psychologist.
I lower my rifle as Triwt slithers down the hall, her fur undeniably red in a few spots where her fur was exposed, but mostly on her uniform. She keeps going with the Alcoranth Captain being dragged along by her tail, already bound up and gagged.
“I can deal with the blood of Jordan Cores, but take this bastard away from me before I slit his throat for getting mucus on my tail.”
Oh, she is pissed. She’s just doing a good job at mostly containing it.
I nod before speaking, “Just knock him out for now and we’ll put him in a cryopod or something. His slime-like excretions from his skin might make him an easy flight risk since we can assume he can slip out of handcuffs and other bindings fairly easily.”
Triwt nods at me and uses a Stun Baton to knock him out for now after hitting him with probably more volts than regulated.
I suppose it’s better than bashing his head against the wall until he passes out.
The remaining guards who were left with me take the now prisoner captain away from Triwt and begin transporting him to a cryopod room meant for emergencies like if the ship’s thrusters stop working and we’re years away from rescue.
We could just set up an SOS frequency broadcast and then put everyone in cryo until rescue arrives. But now, it’s a makeshift prison for a cowardly pirate.
Now… for the real battle in all of this. The battle on the inside.
Lys, Verkrawn Male, Fauna Research Specialist
Silence. Well, except my ears are ringing from the sound of gunfire that has now stopped.
I take in a shaky breath in what feels like the first time in forever. Everything is shaking now that the fighting seems to have stopped. It seems I’m not the only one who was holding their breath for so long as other crew members near me seemed to breathe in while a few start to break down crying.
We’re not fighters like security, Triwt, or Cerelia. Most of us had never seen people die, to say the least how brutal it was to see how Jordan Cores attacked the Alcoranth. I feel my face with my clawed hands and feel the warm liquid of my tears running down my face.
When did I start crying?
The realization hit me like a powerloader as it’s my turn to break down crying, my own legs failing me as they shook before I found myself weeping on the floor as the thoughts and emotions flooded my head with what happened and how terrible this was. I keep crying as I feel the large paw of my older sister as she slowly sits me up and holds me in a warm embrace. It makes me think about when I was younger. The days when she and I were in the orphanage. She used to hold me just like this after she would chase away the older kids who would be mean to me. I still remember some of the things she’d say to them.
“I don’t care if a Verkawn’s scales can deflect most bullets, he still has feelings!” The first thing she ever said to the bullies as she chased them off. It was also the day I met her. She had lost her family due to a Slaver raid on the colony world she was living on at the time. She didn’t tell me much about it, and I doubt she would tell me even today, but she always called me her little brother, so I started calling her my older sister. It’s been like that since.
I keep crying until it’s more of a sniffle as I slowly return the embrace.
“They will never hurt you like they hurt me, Lys.” She whispers to me before slowly turning her attention to the crew members with a sad expression. “Nor any of you. Oh, none of this was ever supposed to happen.”
“Y-You can’t predict pirates, Cerelia”
“I know, but they got so close to hurting and enslaving you. I failed to keep you all safe.”
“Cerelia, we’re fine. No one got hurt physically. We should probably just go to the nearest planetary city, maybe see some therapists and psychologists while the ship gets repaired.”
Cerelia nods as she thinks about what I said.
“Yeah, but what about the furless beast? What are we supposed to do about it?” A member says as everyone was slowly coming to grips that they are alive and well. “Are we just going to keep it here? Who knows if it’ll attack us again like it did to Lys or that Alcoranth on the floor there!?”
“He was scared!” Cerelia counters, with a hint of personal anger in her tone. “He couldn’t understand us and was only trying to escape because he thought he was in danger!”
“He was in danger? He is the danger for all I’ve seen!” They countered as I felt like shrinking down and hiding away, before a bit more of an emotional burning sensation rose up in me.
“Shut up!” I suddenly snapped. Silence follows as they wait for me to say something. I have never raise my voice.
“Sure, they found us in here because Jordan Cores had a chip on him, but he didn’t know about it! Not only that, but he at least protected us from that psychopath, breaking his own body and getting shot before doing so! You haven’t even had time to interact with him. While my interactions with him were brief, I could at least tell that he was scared and that he was sorry!” I huff as I silently cry again as I look at both Cerelia and the crew member. I think their name is R’dorn. They’ve always been brash and rude, so I had a tendency to avoid them.
R’dorn looks at me annoyed, but as they are seemingly unable to come up with a good counter argument, they storm out of the safe room.
I look at Cerelia and Triwt before sighing and sitting down. “Sorry…”
“It’s alright, you kinda said what we were all thinking.” Someone says as they place a wing on me. “That, and R’dorn needs to shut up every now and then.” There’s sounds of agreement before it becomes a group embrace of comfort. Much different to huddling in fear.
“So wait, where is Jordan Cores now? Is he okay?”
“He’s in Med Bay 07’s only regeneration pod. He’s going to be fine, but it won’t be a while until he’s out due to his injuries.” Triwt responds as she slithers to the entrance of the room. “How about everyone gets cleaned up, or takes a hot shower to calm their nerves, and in about 2 hours time, we can see how Jordan Cores is holding up?”
That sounds like a good idea. To wash away the stress and some time to think, it sounds super nice.
I let out a sigh and nod. “Yeah, that sounds good to me… I’ll be there then. I guess if everyone else wants to show up, you can as well? Not like I can stop you or force you to, but the suggestion is there. Just trying to be considerate.”
With that, I stand up and I’m escorted back to my room to try and freshen up and clear my head.
And that is chapter 9! I was personally a little bit of mental and emotional wreck while writing because sometimes I don't know what I'm doing. At least that's how it feels. Gonna try and do some experimenting as I kinda want to explore some places now as we’ve been stuck on The Opal Star since the very beginning. So what are we feeling? A desert world, tropical world, or maybe a world that’s high in gravity, but Jordan seems to be just fine? Let me know your thoughts, ideas, and suggestions below, and thank you so much for reading!
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We've been dating for a little over a year and a half, and despite a lot of the things he does that really get on my nerves, I still love him more than anything and I want to get married to him someday. Please take everything I'm about to say with a grain of salt and don't come at my throat, there's just a lot of things that unnecessarily piss me off and my boyfriend does a lot of them.
We're both on the autism spectrum, but on vastly different sides of it. I'm more quiet and reclusive and I tend to keep my interests to myself unless someone else likes it mutually. I'll only really ramble about something if someone's curious and wants me to talk about it, but otherwise I understand that most people don't want to just be bombarded with information. My boyfriend, on the other hand, will literally spam my DMs at times with tangents about the Fortnite lore or some technological stuff that I don't understand. I'm fine with him rambling about his interests, but it's really overwhelming when it's just a massive wall of text and I'm not involved with the conversation whatsoever, just trying to awkwardly take in this information. He'll also do this thing where he'll poke me multiple times and ask if I've read through it. He'll do the same thing with songs, where he'll send me the link to a song, and then ask me if I've listened to it a few minutes later. It feels really demanding of my attention, especially if he sees that I'm currently doing something; like playing a game or drawing.
Recently, we've both been watching through MLP:FiM because he's never gotten into it while it was really popular back in the 2010s. He'll just repeat "I love [insert character]" several times even though I'm already well aware that it's his favorite character. I don't know why, but hearing someone repeating the same thing over and over again really, really irritates me. I know it's probably just an instance where he gets really attached and doesn't know what else to say, but he says it for a lot of things. Also, sometimes he says something like "wow, this episode is really great" and if I don't say something in the next few seconds, he'll follow it up with "isn't it?" and force me to respond even if I'm just trying to watch and focus on the show or I'm nonverbal. I don't understand why he wants me to acknowledge him stating that what we're currently watching is great if we're clearly both interested it, and demands my constant attention. It's like this for everything we're watching together, and I just wish he'd be quiet and watch the damn video a lot of the time instead of just saying baseless shit that's obvious.
I visited him during Christmas of 2023 and he got this Breaking Bad lego set from his dad. We wanted to build it together, but I ended up building nearly the entire thing, because he'd get frustrated so easily and give up after a few minutes. He just slept for an entire evening while I worked on it, and he kept falling asleep every time I woke him up and asked him if he could help me with it because I just wanted to do something fun with him. That was literally our entire vacation, just sitting around and doing nothing. He doesn't have a car, nor a license, and his mom was working most of the time. She drove us around to some places, like a dispensary and took us out to dinner, but I didn't want her to feel like I was taking advantage of her and asking her to take us places, and buying an uber is expensive, so we were just stuck holed up at his house. He slept for most of the day on new year's eve and I at least wanted to sit outside with him and watch some fireworks, watch the ball drop, anything. I had to wake him up 10 minutes before midnight and he literally just didn't care at all. He fell back asleep after midnight and I just felt so empty and unfulfilled after that. He doesn't like going out into public, and he hardly ever has before in his whole life, so he just sits around doing nothing all day and never wants to go out and do anything fun. Ever. Not even a walk or anything.
He has a couple of food allergies, peanuts being the most major one. I understand that a lot of food products can potentially be contaminated due to them being processed in plants that handle nuts, but he uses that as the worst possible crutch. Don't get me wrong, I want him to be safe just as much as he does, but it's getting to the point where I feel like I'm dating a toddler. He gets ultra paranoid that literally everything is contaminated with peanuts. I don't have any food allergies so I know I'll never understand how that is for him or the fear he has, but it really feels like he's using that as an excuse most of the time. He literally just eats the same 5 things. Pizza, grilled cheese, fries, dry cereal, chicken nuggets. He doesn't even bother trying new things, even if I think he'll like them, and we've quadruple checked to see if it's safe for him to eat. Now, I understand a lot of people on the autism spectrum have same/safe foods, as do I, but I got so tired of eating pizza for 3 days in a row after seeing him. If I wanted something else, I had to get it door dashed and spend extra money that I really didn't want to be spending. I really don't want to be forced to accommodate to eating those same 5 things, or to spend extra money on groceries getting stuff only he likes. I told him that I'm going to get him to try new things once we start living together, and he said that's understandable, but I already know it's going to be a fucking hassle.
A lot of his friends are assholes, especially one of his best friends who I absolutely despise. He's incredibly active in the Fortnite community and is friends with someone on twitter that has a huge following due to the fact that he posts a lot of information regarding the game and it's events. I've tried being cordial with this friend of his several times, reaching out and trying to say hi to him, just to be met with silence. He openly called me weird to my boyfriend due to the fact that I'm interested in horror related things, and he just nonchalantly told me that as if it wouldn't seriously hurt my feelings. Eventually I just gave up even trying to befriend him and told my boyfriend that I don't like him, but he'll continue to bring him up to me and it really gets on my nerves when he does, because who likes hearing about someone they don't like due to the fact that you were treated unfairly by them? He's also had multiple falling outs with this friend, where he's said and done a lot of hurtful shit, but my boyfriend keeps crawling back to him instead of just finding a better person to call his best friend.
Before any of you ask, yes, I have talked to him about all of these things. We have a very healthy relationship and rely on communication, so our relationship isn't strained or anything. He'll just say he'll "try to be more aware" and will continue to do it the next day, so a lot of these habits are hardwired in his brain. I'm probably just going to have to continue reminding him about these things, because I feel bad about a lot of this stuff irritating me. He's really sweet and the best partner I've ever had, but god he really acts like a needy puppy at times. I'm sure there's things I do that he doesn't like either, a lot of relationships are like that. I'll either learn to live with these habits, despite my discretion, or he'll learn to break them. Either way, I just needed to get all of that off my chest.

I’m not sure what group to put this in, but if you could read my blurb and give advice that would be great. It’s a m/m romance road-trip book.
What’s harder than cycling hundreds of miles down the west coast? Doing it with the annoyingly hot guy who hates your guts.
Cal is excited to go on a two-week cycling trip with his best friends. He doesn’t want, he needs the relaxation in order to kill his artist’s block—he has a new show coming up and he's nowhere near finished. However, things get complicated when one of his best friends, Alex, brings her standoffish brother Nate along for the ride without telling him. Which would be fine if the guy wasn’t a total jerk.
Sharing a tent with this guy every night should prove to be impossible, so when he and Nate actually start to get along he’s surprised. But Cal isn’t looking for love, he’s already been burned one too many times.
And so what if the guy has a couple good qualities, it doesn’t mean anything, right? Nate is a fancy coder and an obsessive cyclist with all the latest gear. He’s too black and white, too rigid, too perfect.
The total opposite of Cal, who’s had more jobs than he can count. He’s a mess. No way could they ever work out. Not to mention keeping a secret that huge from his two best friends might just be more than he can take.
Only 856 more miles to go. Can Cal and Nate put their differences aside to make this thing work?
Get ready for a swoony road trip story that features light enemies to lovers, only one bed, my best friend’s brother, a secret romance, and a vacation fling as a few of the tropes. From the meet-cute to the happily ever after 100 Miles Until I Love You crafts a charming romance you won’t want to miss.

Now I don't mean from the perspective of artistically, or anything like they'll be looked on more favorably in 10 years etc. I mean literally misinterpreted. I've seen posts here and there about very strong reactions towards the sequels, but the reasons have been based on misunderstandings of what the sequels show.
For example, I saw one post today where a user says they're confused about the political state of the galaxy. The user asks how did the First Order become a New Galactic Empire, when the first Empire became the New Republic. They go on to say surely the appearance of the first order would be something the senate would debate about. Is this not made clear enough in the movies that the capital of the New Republic has been destroyed?
Another one was how Finn was 'clearly' being set up to be a romantic interest for Rey, and TLJ/TROS undid that by having her fall for Kylo instead. Disregarding the fact that Finn's advances are shown to be one sided in TFA, we even see Rey kiss him on the forehead at the end saying "we'll meet again, friend."
There have also been others like someone complaining how the transports in TLJ should have been spotted by first order sensors, when the throwaway line from an officer indicates that they were cloaked.
It just got me wondering, how much of the hate towards the sequels have been due to the sequels not spending much time to exposition dump etc., with a lot of info given in implicit fashion (i.e. there has been an awakening, have you felt it - to explain Rey's force sensitivity). Are they misunderstood because the information is not overtly expressed? Or are these the fault of the movies themselves for not spending more time explaining and lampshading things?

I had a lawyer 3 years ago who took my felony grand theft case and assisted me in successfully completing pre-trial diversion and I received a Nolle Prosequi. I the asked my lawyer seal and expunge the arrest from my record. I was told sealing and expunging was essentialy the same thing and my attorney would get it processed. Attorney filed a petition to seal since I met the requirements and it was approved.
Fast forward to a year later and I applied for a new job that did a background check and come to find out the record was never sealed because it popped right up!! After some digging and calling around/visiting the court house, apparently the clerk of court failed to forward the signed judgment to the State’s Attorney office. I assumed that since I paid my lawyer to handle this process, they would follow up and ensure it was completed. Unfortunately the job offer for the position was rescinded as their legal team didn’t like the fact that they saw something that they essentially shouldn’t have and I only had a sealing to show for it and not a full expungement. I provided proof of the sealing and details to show it was the Clerk of Court’s fault/my lawyer and my attorney’s paralegal even wrote a letter on my behalf stating that the clerk of court messed up but not admitting to any fault of their own for not checking that the process was completed.
My lawyer confirmed I was eligible for both however because she deemed it essentially the same as sealing the record, she used her judgement and went that route.
Calling several other lawyers who said sealing is NOT the same as expunging, they didn’t understand why my attorney didn’t just expunge it as I was eligible for both. In order to expunge it now, they would need a copy of the original order to seal that was sent to Tallahassee , but of course my lawyer no longer had a copy and didn’t provide me one. And the only way to get a copy is to unseal it I was told!!
I don’t want it unsealed as I’m worried that it would show up on a new background check. What the heck can I do to hold my former attorney accountable for literally not following through with what I paid her for!?! It’s like if I hired a construction crew to build something and it was complete but didn’t pass inspection, they would be held liable for fixing it, right?? I lost a $75k job over this (a $15k increase and haven’t gotten a position since that pays as much as that offer of employment). Like, can I sue my own attorney???

Knew this day would come I just didn't expect it so soon. I know many vets that use bots no issue and one guy told me as long as you never late forfeit or no show Amazon turns a blind cheek. They only take it personally when you pretty much cheat then have the nerve to not show but to try bitch about the ding too, followed the rules 0 issues.
Went from fantastic to at risk last week back to great today. Never missed a block in 3 years but last week missed 4.
One alarm was silent phone volume was low. Second it was 3:45 am went to the wrong station. Another late forfeit due to rain flood and a complete no show for one block I didn't even realize I had forgot to forfeit and didn't even realize til days later.
Hope I don't get deactivated. When i was new I was at risk and missed 5 blocks in a row not deactivated. I did write a long email apologizing and also about how I planned to change my ways and did. I was level 4 and fantastic for 3 years til last week.
That was the last time I ever missed blocks. Oh well time to retire the bot and look for a job. I heard they are not playing and deactivating after one email.
I don't think its the bot it's me missing all of those blocks especially 3:45 am. I heard they don't play about those and probably why my account went under review. For all of the people that will say good and that I deserve to be deactivated. I don't disagree, what I will tell you is that you're mad at the wrong person. If wages were fair and everyone's papers were chedkd often there wouldn't be saturation.
I could never get blocks in December 0 reserves so gave in and used a bot changed my life. Income went up by about 50% and didn't have to tap all day. I even search while on routes always 0 issues. only thing I don't do is manually search while bot is running.
I also noticed last week that I mistakenly had my vpn on while I looked at what blocks were available bot was off ofcourse.

Academic workers in UAW 4811 are voting Monday-Wednesday this week to authorize a strike against the UC's violent police assault of peaceful anti-genocide protesters. All those who participated in the 2020 and 2022 strikes know from the experience of those struggles that the union has no interest in carrying out a real fight. In those struggles, the UAW bureaucracy used every trick to disorient, discourage, and demobilize workers, to limit the struggle, and to maintain their own privileged positions within the union and the Democratic Party.
Regarding Gaza, the UAW bureaucracy has completely lined up behind the Biden administration and its support for Israel's genocidal war. At the UAW's Community Action Program conference in January, president Shawn Fain enthusiastically endorsed Biden reelection bid, while pro-Palestinian protesters were physically dragged out of the conference.
At this point, any delay in strike action is unacceptable. Neither students nor workers, and certainly not the Palestinians, can wait any longer.
Graduate student workers must mobilize now to countermand this slow-motion sellout. They should organize their own rank-and-file strike vote and form their own strike committees, separate from and uncontrolled by the UAW apparatus, to enforce their democratic will.
From https://www.wsws.org/en/articles/2024/05/14/rcls-m14.html
On Monday, 48,000 University of California academic workers and members of United Auto Workers Local 4811 began electronically casting their ballots to approve a strike authorization. The vote is scheduled to last through Wednesday.
The UAW was forced to call the vote as a result of massive anger among grad students and academic workers to an attack by armed Zionist counter-protesters—abetted by the police, UC administration and UAW leadership—on the UCLA Gaza Solidarity encampment two weeks ago. While police did nothing for hours as the encampment was attacked by right-wing thugs, the following night, police returned to conduct mass arrests of peaceful students and workers.
The strike authorization vote places the rank and file in direct conflict with the UAW leadership, which fully endorsed President Joe Biden’s 2024 candidacy despite his genocidal and warmongering policies. After an over week-long delay in calling the vote, Local 4811 finally announced the vote but rendered a possible strike contingent on whether “circumstances justify.”
Moreover, the union unilaterally calls for the infamous “standup strikes” and reserves the right to restrict them to selected campuses only, for the purpose of limiting as much as possible the impact and effectiveness of strike action. The “standup strike” pro-corporate tactic inflicted a massive defeat on autoworkers last fall. Instead of calling the entire membership on strike, UAW president and Biden’s biggest fan Shawn Fain left workers on the job at the most profitable plants, betraying workers’ readiness to fight.
In addition to limiting the action to an “Unfair Labor Practice” claim against the UC system and “standup strikes,” the UAW is also undercutting workers’ action by limiting the duration of the strike to less than two months. In a ballot shared with the World Socialist Web Site by a member of Local 4811, the UAW wrote, “The strike will end on all campuses no later than June 30th, 2024.”
Despite the attempt by the union to smother and curtail strike action, the authorization vote is a highly political expression of workers and students who are overwhelmingly opposed to war, the genocide in Gaza and those primarily responsible for it, namely the state of Israel and the Biden administration. Anger and opposition to the criminal onslaught of Palestinians and imperialist war is mounting in country after country...

I live in an apartment with my partner of six years (41M) and my roommate (40M). My partner and I both work in the production industry, and my roommate works independently as a performer for parties, festivals, and so on as a juggler, fire spinner, stilt walker, ect.
Back in the fall, my partner got into a car accident as the result of a DUI. No one was hurt but him, and the car was totaled. He's been struggling with alcoholism for years, and this event sent him into a deep spiral of depression, self loathing, and, you guessed it, more drinking. He's been trying really hard to get sober and get back on his feet, but the times he slips are hard, and will cause fights between us. Recently, I was states away on a job for a week. While I was gone, my roommate angrily approached my partner and told him that, due to the "drama in the house", its been causing him anxiety, and he had missed an email about a show he could have been booked on. As a result, he missed the gig and won't be making that money. My partner asked him how much he would have made for that show, and that he'd just give him the money for missing it to "keep the peace". My roommate said he would have made $950. My partner forked it over to him.
I ended up finding out about this transaction about a week or so later from a mutual friend that he let it slip to. I was livid. I told him that not only should he not have offered the money, but that my roommate should have never accepted it.
For starters, my partner is already depressed from the thousands of dollars he's spent on court fees, DUI driving courses, Uber rides back and forth to work, the list goes on. This wasn't money he could easily give away. My partner and I both work 40+ hours a week, and my roommate maybe works one show every couple weeks when it's slow, and 2-3 times a week when it's busy. Like my roommate, I am also an independent contractor, and rely on keeping track of my emails to get gigs. I didn't think it was fair that, given a lot of my own anxiety about my home life, that I am able to find and maintain work, but my roommate missed one job and blamed us for it. I don't blame anyone else for not finding work but myself. Also, why hadn't my roommate approached me about the situation instead of my partner, who is already in a vulnerable state?! I would at least worked something out where my partner and I leave the apartment if we were having an argument, so we don't upset our roommate.
I told my partner that I was going to talk to our roommate about this and ask for the money back. He told me not to and to just drop it. I'm afraid that if I don't at least try, then it's going to start a pattern of behavior where my roommate feels like it's justified to demand money whenever our situation makes him feel uncomfortable and makes him "miss work". My partner shut me down and told me not to even mention anything to my roommate at all, and that he would be incredibly mad if I did. I still don't think anything about the situation is right, but AITAH for still thinking he should give the money back?

45f and 46m I’ve known my husband for 13 years. We were friends / coworkers the first year. We lived together for a year and were engaged for 2 years. We have been married 9 years this year. The first seven years of our relationship we owned a business together and were a power couple. Very very busy.
I had joint custody of my boys, and year five I got full custody and they moved in permanently. We closed our business down with COViD and moved from a large city to a small town in a new state. My husband (and oldest son) (kinda) started a car related painting business. The chemicals make me sick so I am not involved in anything business related anymore.
We live separate lives now, it feels. He’s off making his business grow and is really into cars and racing. I am not. I am an Environmental Scientist and burnouts just don’t do it for me.
Plus… He had not mentioned anything about cars while we were in the radio and club business for eight years.
Now suddenly it’s his life long dream. I claim midlife crisis.
I feel left out. I feel like we could have done another business together. Something we both liked.
I don’t resent him for being able to go do something cool with the money we saved, and I got a house. But. I’m a business woman. Not Betty Crocker homemaker. I mean, I am. I once was in my first marriage. And I do a fantastic job at household management and raising kids, dogs and husbands. But I don’t want to do it again. And the youngest is 16.5. He is planning on leaving for college in the big city in a few years. I’m almost an empty nester.
This is when we should be building decades together with no distractions but grandbabies.
But we don’t want to do the same things. We both changed, but not to the point that we don’t have common interests. But nothing seems fun.
He spends all his time at work or worrying about work. He hasn’t taken me on a date in over a year. I quit planning date night and told him it was his turn. He’s never been good at that stuff. But I’ve stopped caring. I’m tired of always “being the one” to do everything.
What’s with this slump? How do we get out.