After a run lasting roughly 32 days, my character has finally succumbed to the cataclysm. How you may ask? None other then the trials and tribulations faced on a first proper lab raid. I was on a long voyage to the refuge center, almost 5 cities away, so I loaded up a Police van with goodies that I had been stockpiling in my evac shelter, and set off.
Very, very quickly, my police van had struggled to keep up with the onslaught of undead, so I needed to swap out cars, fast. I drove past the first city, major damages taken to the vehicle, and had stopped at the first POI i saw, a Golf Course! There was a vehicle that would accompany the next part of my journey, the most important part. I swapped my battery with this, this time, only taking loot that would actually be useful, giving me much more room for stuff, and set off in my brand new Sedan!
And then I immediately crashed it denting the hood...
But that's fine! It happens!
I continued my journey and stumbled across a FEMA camp, and after a quick inspection, decided i WANTED what they had. I drove to a nearby evac shelter, stopped the car, and set out on foot with a makeshift knife spear I had quickly cobbled together.
Once I arrived, it was as simple as using the fence to my advantage, as all I needed to do was stab the occasional Zed that stumbled towards me through the fence. I did have occasional outside troubles, arising from a nearby anthill, but nothing I couldn't handle. Then I bit off a bit more then i can chew, as i somehow managed to attract every single Zed inside that camp. I quickly retreated back to the evac shelter, and climbed up a downspout seeing as i was being pursued quite...effectively. I stood up there, on the gutter for some time watching more and more pile up on the edge of the building, and decided it was time for some action. With my spear, I stabbed down from the roof, into the skulls of the Soldier Zombies clambering for a piece of my flesh. A few close calls with Caustic ones later nearly costing my life, and i was free from the dead, over 50 laid dead around the evac shelter after a whole night of resting, fighting, and repeating.
The spoils were immense. At this stage, my armor had consisted of nothing other then some riot gear I had taken from the undead some time ago when I was still based at my starting evac shelter. But here? Here was when i took up some proper gear.
A Heavy Ballistic Vest with its associated attachment points connected, extending its protection to my limbs. Brand new ballistic plates added to bolster my defense, a MOLLE webbing belt for extra storage, a Helmet, and some gloves, and my very first proper firearm, a MK18 CQBR Rifle along with some extra magazines for my newly acquired magazine pouch, and a fair amount of ammo looted from the rest of the bodies.
The FEMA camp itself had some spoils as well, most notably a M240 Machine Gun with a unreasonably high amount of ammo just sitting there. I loaded up my Sedan, and set off once again.
Deciding to not wreck my sedan through a city horde again, i decided to take a longer route around through some rural roads where I found a pickup truck! I swapped batteries yet again, and made way with my new vehicle, bolstering significantly better storage capacity.
I made a quick pitstop at an airport, refueled, took off and found something that i had only ever heard murmured about from time to time. A lab. Curiosity sunk its fangs into me, and i pulled my truck beside the accursed building. I entered through the front and found out quickly I'd need an ID to access it, but luckily for me, i had passed a coupe shaped ID along the road just moments ago!
With a careful...swiping of my ID card, I opened the "hidden" door on the back of the building and stood on the elevator, in a mix of excitement and fear. I entered, Rifle on a sling, spare knife in my vest, and a tonfa in my hand.
I was immediately greeted by a scientist...not living of course, and quickly dispatched them. I proceeded through the building, finding nothing out of the ordinary until I saw another locked door, with reinforced glass on either side. I couldn't make out much of the interior, but I saw some....creatures. Krecks were clawing at the glass, and in the back flew a strange mass of flesh...a Flying Polyp. The glass protected me so i decided i would explore the rest of the building and return to this strange room later.
I took some time clearing out the rest of the rooms, finding some small dormitories and various cabinets filled to the brim with various chemicals, as well as strange samples of genetic material from various creatures. I decided to return back to the hall with the beasts, thinking they'd still be locked behind the door, however i was sorely mistaken.
I'm unsure how it got there, but upon returning to that hall, I found it clouded in a thick, hazy gas. My curiosity getting the better of me, i decided to don my gas mask, and wade through the fog only to be pushed to the ground by a foul beast, a Nuckalavee. Panicked, and in a daze, i quickly dropped my tonfa, opting to wield my rifle in which, with a quick flip of a switch, set the thing to full auto as I let the ballistics echo through the halls. Half a mag down, and the beast was slain, dissipating back into the hell where it came, but not without leaving me terribly wounded. I staggered into a nearby storage room, threw my gun to the floor and quickly dealt with my bleeding wounds. After tending to them, and popping a good amount of tramadol, I spent the next 6 hours waiting, hearing the noises outside go from the gasps of the undead, to a strange tittering of metal clanking on the ground. I quickly decided I had waited enough. I had no more rations or water in my vest, and dehydration was starting to set in.
I grabbed my gun from the floor, reloaded and exited into the hall where i had learned that the area where the Krecks were hadn't even been destroyed. The centaur came from elsewhere it seemed. I passed by one of the windows, where a gaze pierced my mental. A quick look yielded the answer of what had done so. I ran down the hall, past the window, not wanting to bear witness to the creature where I had found out that the Polyp from before had found a way out, and was now floating in the hall. In desperation, I raised my rifle, and unloaded a solid 15 rounds into the beast until it had too returned to the void. I stumbled through the hallway, and finally made it back to the elevator, where i had chosen to rest for the night, and try again in the morning.
Wounds healed, armor checked, and guns reloaded, I headed down into the laboratory one more time. I spent some time getting off the elevator, gun in hand, as i slowly pied a corner, only to suddenly be grabbed from the darkness as a myriad of tentacles bit at my flesh, gnawing deep only to feast upon my blood. The gun fell to the floor, and I struggled to retrieve my knife from my vest, only for that too to fall. Hypovolemic shock was setting in as I tried to grab my rifle again, to no avail. I escaped from the grasp for a mere moment, stumbling into a table where I had soon after collapsed, my face pale as my heart stopped beating.
832 creatures had fell to my hands, but my own life was added to that list as well as I was truly, and utterly, unprepared.
TL;DR: Had a good run, found a lab, thought i could raid it, i could not. Star Vampires are scary. Had lots of fun :)

Hi all, I'm and Army Reserve Captain thinking about applying to PTMO, DCSS, and OCS. I have three years of active service with the Army as a field artillery officer. I left the Army because my dad was dying of cancer and my wife (also Army) was SA'd. So that sucked. The personal situation is much better and my family is fully supportive.
I understand that I'll probably take a reduction in rank to O-2. I'm currently a professional firefighter. I have a BA, MS, a bunch of FEMA certs, and very good officer evaluations.
I know that 9 times out of 10, most things can be answered with "needs of the service." That said, can anyone give me a down and dirty about PTMO and life as a junior officer in the USCG? The recruiter said that I'd likely start out at a ship and do at least a year doing that and patrol. I've also been told they like sticking former Army Officers from PTMO in logistics roles which I'm not super thrilled about.
I'm pretty interested in the Response Ashore career field but Afloat is also very interesting to me. Unfortunately I'm too old for Aviation. Thanks in advance!

I took all of these classes during my associates degree prior to transfer, I haven't gotten concrete answers and just wanted to figure our what is up?
I see psych stats and research methods in psych as classes I need to take, like I was told by a counselor I specifically needed to retake 100a/b, but I have heard mixed things from different counselors. I'm going to psych counsellings tmro, but I need to know.
I completed everything else during my associates, as the 7 prep classes are all lower div except 100a/b. At my community College, research methods was upper division as it was psych 200 there. Do I need to retake research methods if I took it during my associates?? I completed 100a, but still have yet to do 100b. What's the deal? I already did this during associates but every counselor has told me different things... although I took 100a at Ucla, just not 100B
Will I be dropped from my pre-major if I wasn't able to complete these all during my 3rd year? They were full EVERY TIME I tried to enroll, I'm scared. The only one I would have missed is 100b as I did all the low div prep classes in my associates.
Let me know pls,

I live in a mobile home in an area that sometimes gets tornado warnings, and I developed a very strong phobia of severe weather, so I finally gave in and called a storm shelter dealer and requested they install a storm shelter. At first, I wanted to install a below ground shelter, but I was informed by the county and the contractor that the ground in the area was too hard to dig more than a few feet, so I opted for an above ground shelter.
My curiosity's gotten the best of me, though, and I wondered if it could really withstand an EF5 tornado, so I started doing some research. A lot of people seem to think I got scammed, and now I'm questioning if it's even safe at all.
It's certainly not enough to alleviate my storm anxiety, and it kind of feels like a tin can; it's echoey and I've used it during severe storm warnings, and I can hear everything going on outside--the hail pounding the carport and the winds blowing things around. Honestly, I'm terrified. I keep imagining what would happen if I got unlucky and got hit directly by an EF4 or even 5. I'm not even sure the thing could survive getting a car rammed into it, let alone actually protect me from all of the craziness that happens in a strong tornado.
Still, though, it claims to be tested by the Texas Wind Institute and has a FEMA compliancy sticker (but it's only valid if installed properly and inspected.) I'm still freaked out, though, and really, I'd like to figure out how to put in an underground shelter. I know it would be difficult because of the hard ground, but storm season always gives me a lot of anxiety. I'm afraid I might hurt myself while fleeing some imaginary threat or not take a real threat seriously.
Does anyone have any advice or reassurance? What would you do if you were in my situation?
Edit: I just remembered something worrying. I'm not a builder, and when the contractor asked me how much rebar to put in, I answered none, because I assumed he was talking about anchoring, and this shelter doesn't work like that--the anchor bolts are put in after the concrete slab is laid. I really should have done my research, because rebar is what gives concrete its strength! I asked him to talk to the storm shelter company when he asked me questions I didn't know the answers to, but he always defaulted to me, for some reason, and I think I probably gave him very wrong instructions. This is why I should have had an engineer to supervise the work. I have so many uncertainties about that storm shelter floating around in my head right now that I'm feeling sick.

So got a new neighbor a few years ago. Old man died, they broke up the place, he bought part of it and built a grass airstrip. Seems nice enough. Airline pilot. Has his little stunt plane he likes to fly around in. Has cleaned up the place and built a nice hangar and huuuuge front gate.
Now, his flying is pretty annoying. Open pipes on a 9 cylinder radial engine, what could be annoying, right? Add the constant verticals, dives, hammerheads, and barrel rolls, all at about 1000 to 2500 feet over your head.
Yea, anyway. One day, he’s pulling his stunts, up and down, all around, and suddenly he cuts his motor. Then there’s a loud “THWUMP.” I normally keep him tuned out, but that last part really gave me pause… so I stepped out and around the shop to look North. There’s a big plume of black smoke rising in the North pasture. Damn. Now, why the hell he had to crash on me, I can’t answer. He’s got near a thousand acres of his own. But there he was. So here I go.
Interesting 911 call. They were very interested to hear a plane had crashed. Dispatched me to the wrong county because of the tower location. Got transferred, gave a bunch of details, but then the VFD Chief called me. He’s really who I wanted anyway. Excused myself from the phone call as I switched over, much to the protest of the 911 operator, who was rather insistent I couldn’t hang up on her. Having proved her wrong, I got the chief lined out where I’d meet him, and got two brush rigs in to put out the fire.
The neighbor was filming a training video and had a helicopter with him, who landed and grabbed him, taking him to a nearby hospital. Then the dispatcher called me back. Kinda rude, honestly. Told me I couldn’t hang up on her, but when I tried to apologize, she had to keep catching an attitude. So I hung up on her, again. She called back. Told me I couldn’t hang up on her. I asked her if she wanted to bet money on that. Told her I appreciated her help, but I was busy with deputies and troopers on scene. Like moths to a flame, well, a burning plane, the deputies did come.
Among the 3 state troopers, the 4 local police officers from 2 local municipalities, FEMA officer, 2 fire marshals, and a Texas Ranger, there were 3 county deputies who showed up, too. Among those deputies was a rookie. Fresh meat. A tenderfoot. He was having fun filling out all the paperwork. But his allergies were giving him fits. The thigh high ragweed in bloom wasn’t helping, I’m sure. Me being the good guy I am, I offered him a sly smile and some advice.
“You want a home remedy for that sneezing and sniffling?”
“Uh. Yea, sure.”
“Here, take some of this,” as I grabbed a handful of the ragweed bloom, “and rub it good between your palms, and rub it under you nose and eyes.”
I almost had him sold. He was reaching for it, but the choking chortle from his Lt behind him made him suspicious. He glanced at me, I could hold my poker face, but neither of the others could. He knew I almost had him. So we all laughed.
“Sorry, Rookie, but as you know, it goes around. I had to try. It’ll be your turn in a few years.”
“Aww, man, you almost had me. What is that stuff?”
“That would be ragweed, and prolly what’s giving you fits to begin with. I did intend on giving you a Benadryl shortly after.” and I pulled the bottle out of my truck door. “I’ll still offer it to you.”
“Aw, That’s just wrong, man. But I’d still appreciate that.” as he reached for the bottle in my hand.
There was a while after where I was hoping he didn’t pull me over somewhere. Joke mighta been on me, then. Still worth it.

I am supposed to take ICS 100, 200, and 700. But, I'm seeing a lot of variation when I look those up. Is there any difference between ICS and IS? And do I have to take 100a, 100b, and 100c etc to fulfill the requirements?
On that note, I tried to sign up for IS-700a and the course was discontinued.
People who have been at this a long time, if you are handing out assignments to newcomers, please be specific. This stuff may seem intuitive to you now, but it's not for us. And our time is in shorter and shorter supply these days. Tying to sort out the missing pieces using google results is becoming increasingly time consuming, as the results are bloated with millions of pages that don't answer the questions we searched for.
Thanks!

October 11th 2023. I entered my local agents building to cancel my flood insurance (that I have through them through fema) after paying off my cheap house. I was told I need to come back the next day to sign papers. I going the next day. And I do.
December. Two months go by. And no refund for the remaining 4 months of my term. I call my agent. And no answer. I call the customer service number online. And am informed it was never fully canceled. That my agent didn't click one button. I enter my insurance agents office that Friday. (My only day off that they are open) My agent is not there. But the other person is. I inform her. And she told me she will let the agent know next week. The agent calls me the next week and apologize and says the large company was hacked and that he will resubmit. Maybe a week later. I get another call and he tells me that apparently he submitted the wrong one. And that I'd need to come in and sign a new paper. So, I come in the next Friday and sign it. February. Still no refund. I call the customer service. They say it isn't canceled still. And that he needs to click a button... I go into the office the next Friday and inform the other person in the office. She tells me she will leave the agent a note. January February. Life gets busy and I forget about it till March. March 8th. By now my policy has ended in Febuary. Noooo refund. Call the customer service. He needs to click a button. I go in again on a Friday. He's not there on Fridays. I talk to her. She informs me she has told him numerous times. She's apologizing. Tells me she will tell him again. April 11th. No refund. Call customer service. They say I haven't not had a policy since 2014. I call the agents office the next day and inform the other person what I had heard. She knows that they are wrong. I know they are wrong. April15th a Monday! I call customer service. Still not canceled for October 11th they tell me it ended in Febuary due to non payment. I inform them that that is okay. Tell them a short story about whats going on. And tbey say okay. Its a Monday! The agent is working. The other person is off this day. I call 3 times in the afternoon. And no answers. After 3 rings. It goes to voice mail. I leave work early and I go the the neighboring towns office and talk to someone there. Informed them quickly about what's going on and asked them to do it. She tells me she will contact the female in my local agents office about it on Tuesday. Tuesday. April 16th. The lady in my local agents office calls me and tells me that she herself. Got the agents log in information. Signed in on his computer. Went in while having customer service on the phone, and clicked the button that the agent has been needing to click. Thursday. April 18th. The agent calls me. Tells me that flood(fema) won't refund me, because WE took to long. He tells me that he's going to try and get me my money some way. And he will start making calls. April 14th. Friday. I enter my agents office. He's not there because he doesn't work Fridays. I talk to the other person and ask for the documents that I signed. She says she will send them to me when she finds them. Then we proceed to talk for over an hour about the bs I've been going through with trying to cancel my flood policy. We learn about each others lives. We get along great. She's super nice. She even shit talks the agent. Tells me he doesn't work Fridays. That he only works one full day. And has 3 half days so he can go substitute at the school and teach P.E at the kindergarten. Less than an hour later. She sends me an email with my signed documents. Says she will keep me informed. Still waiting.
Now I'll tell you about the agent and Is history. 2019. I'm buying the house in this small town of 4k people. And i choose them for insurance since im already going through them since at the time I had car insurance through them. I get off one graveyard shift. Get to the office by 830. Hours are 830 to 430 at this time. No one is in office. 15-30 min later go by and the agent shows up. Gets out of his pickup with his kid and I give him shit for being late. He then tells me off. I apologize. Baffled by the situation. I go in with him. We talk for a few min. I leave. April 2019. I buy the house. Insurance checks it out. Then insurance informs me that I need a new roof on a part of the Noth side. I call my agent. And he tells me "it's that one side on the north side" I climb up see the worst side on the north side. And i get a buddy to help me roof it two weeks before the deadline. I call the agent and tell him it's done. He says he will come by and take pictures of it and send it in. The day before the deadline. He shows up and takes pictures. The next day. I get a letter in the mail, that my insurance has canceled me because I missed my deadline. And I also received the rest of the year refund check. I call a new insurance company. Get insurance through them. Cancel my car insurance through the orginal insurance company, and I send off my refund check to my mortgage company.
Since the day I gave him shit for being late. He has not been very helpful....
So. If I don't get my refund. What can I do? I'm suepr lost. And I don't even know what to research.

D20	This vampire hunter came to the hunt
1	after their spouse was turned by a jealous bloodsucker.
2	being initiated into their family's tradition.
3	after they lost a child to a hungry bloodsucker.
4	after being attacked while stargazing in a park.
5	while working at a blood bank that was used as a pantry by bloodsuckers.
6	as an urban explorer, after stumbling on a hibernating bloodsucker.
7	while they worked as a farmhand, and witnessed livestock being drained dry.
8	thanks to a mystic vision after a nervous breakdown.
9	as the dissatisfied former servant of a vampire who turned on their master.
10	after investigating a prospective client's suspicious finances led them to the discovery of immortal undead.
11	because they were a serial killer who didn't like the competition.
12	as a conspiracy debunking podcaster who stumbled onto a vampiric conspiracy they couldn't debunk.
13	as a vampire blood addict, unsatisfied with the pittance they were given by their dealer.
14	wanting to be turned into a vampire, attempting to coerce one into turning them.
15	after being raised in a blood cult that worshiped a vampire as an angelic being.
16	as a historian who came across primary source records which couldn't be explained in any other way than by the existence of immortal bloodsuckers.
17	by way of an abusive mentor who hoped to use them as bait.
18	while working as an EMT, after seeing a turned victim burned to death by the sun.
19	while working on a tanker ship which was unbeknownst to them transporting a vampire, which preyed on the crew.
20	while they were homeless, defending their community against predators of various stripes.

D20	This vampire hunter lives
1	in a houseboat anchored in the middle of a river.
2	in a cabin in the artic circle for the sunny half of that region's year.
3	a totally cloistered life, ordering everything online, doing all their investigation online, only leaving their home to hunt.
4	in an old church that was partially-converted into a nightclub that was never opened.
5	on the road, in a tricked-out RV.
6	inside a steel panic room in a dilapidated house they've largely withdrawn from.
7	in a shed in a suburb they picked for having one of the highest rates of gun ownership in the country.
8	bouncing between squats and communes, trying to convince crustpunks to bash vampires under the pretense that they are fascists.
9	in a trailer by a marijuana grow-op they use to raise funds for their hunting.
10	in prison most of the time, for their many and varied crimes.
11	on the couches of fellow hunters, as a sort of mercenary paid in places to stay.
12	by camping on public land.y
13	a double life, with a normal job by day, hunting by night, and abusing stimulants to sustain their ability to do so.
14	on donations from people they've saved.
15	in the alley behind a YMCA.
16	off pawning the property of their prey and gambling.
17	in a ruined castle which belonged to one of their quarry.
18	in the sewers, a local legend.
19	out of a garage in a slumlord's house, who is willing to overlook a lot so long as the rent comes in on time.
20	in a shack in the middle of a heavily booby-trapped field.

D20	This vampire hunter's missing
1	their empathy for anything that looks human - they love animals though.
2	their canine teeth - pulled out with their own pliers.
3	a chunk out of their neck - the scar's got ragged edges.
4	a credit score - they're trying to stay off the grid as much as possible.
5	an eyeball - that socket's been caved in.
6	some veins, tendons, and flesh from a wrist - that hand's stiffer than they'd like.
7	any extended family - they've been picked off by vampires over the years.
8	a good chunk of their memories - the result of a blow to the head.
9	their fingernails - chewed away from stress.
10	their hair - shaven off to remove a potential grip.
11	one leg below the knee - torn away.
12	their ability to make small talk - they get very serious, very fast.
13	their hygiene - their thoughts are occupied by other things.
14	a normal sleep cycle - they're able to sleep and wake up pretty much wherever and whenever.
15	any hope for the future - they're depressingly nihilistic.
16	a strong immune system - they're prone to sicknesses.
17	any fear for their own death or injury.
18	a lot of blood-iron - they're chronically anemic.
19	solid risk assessment - they're prone to lashing out at anyone who gets close to them.
20	a few of the fingers off their hand - bitten off.

D20	This vampire hunter's preferred weapon
1	is a silver-edged scimitar.
2	is hawthorn stakes with reinforced cores of carbon steel.
3	is a string of garlic bulbs wielded like a whip.
4	is an axe with a reservoir of holy oil within its handle that can set its head ablaze.
5	is bombs, set off remotely.
6	is a high-powered UV spotlight.
7	is a squirt-gun filled with holy water.
8	is homemade grenades loaded with crumbled communion wafers.
9	is syringes of their own poisoned blood.
10	is a revolver they got blessed by a monk, priest, imam, and rabbi.
11	is a boar spear.
12	is a harpoon gun.
13	is a shotgun loaded up with bits & bobs.
14	is a sledgehammer with nails welded to it.
15	is an oil can wielded with a flare gun.
16	is a dwindling supply of claymores (the explosive kind) they got off an ex-military buddy.
17	is a macuahuitl edged with pliered-out vampire teeth instead of obsidian.
18	is a pair of uzis.
19	is spools of razor wire.
20	is a Shaolin spade.

D20	This vampire hunter believes vampires
1	are unfortunate victims of a mutagenic virus.
2	are descendants of the Biblical Cain.
3	are hemophagic alien invaders.
4	are biological robots performing blood tests and experiments on people.
5	are possessed by demons.
6	are in control of several branches of the government.
7	put additives in processed food to keep people stupid.
8	are a curse created by the Aztec empire in its waning days to keep the blood sacrifices flowing.
9	are a natural and ancient sub-species of homo sapiens that evolved to prey on other humans.
10	are the feeding appendages of higher-dimensional ultraterrestrials.
11	are infected with a bloodborne bacterial hivemind.
12	are Mother Earth's answer to human overpopulation.
13	are corpses animated by unrestful ghosts.
14	used to be much more varied, but that Western vampires ate all the other kinds in a dark mirror of colonialism.
15	are only weeks away from using FEMA to herd people into blood-harvesting camps.
16	are kind of hot, but would never admit this.
17	tell stories about how cool and dangerous they are as a hunter.
18	come from a parallel Earth, and are invading this one since they drank up their own.
19	are critters from the inner surface of the hollow Earth that wear human skins as disguises.
20	are the adrenochrome-harvesting servitors of shadowy billionaires.

Hiyah! I am filing my taxes this today have a question about my 1099-R. I pulled out the entirety of my state retirement (~13.7k) due to difficult financial times in 2023. 2.7k was held before distributions for federal taxes but nothing was held for state tax. I see there's an question for "Did you take this distribution due to a 2023 qualified disaster or 2022 qualified disaster?" I see Wisconsin Covid-19 Pandemic (DR-4520-WI) - Incident Period: January 20, 2020 - May 11, 2023 on FEMA's site. I owe 2.6k if I say no to the prompt and $700 if I say yes.
My question is... is this something I would have answered/filed somewhere when I requested the retirement fund be withdrawn from? Is this something that I'll have to pay down the line for? This is my first time filing this form so any and all information is much appreciated. Thank you

I applied to join FEMA Corps, and I’m in a long term relationship and have a cat. I initially thought we simply received training on campus and then we were sent back home until we had a project to work on. However, I am starting to realize this may not be the case. So, how often would I be able to go back home? What does that process look like?
Also, do we get an assigned FEMA office? There is an office in the city I live in, and I thought we would be able to live at home and just go in to the office, and then be deployed to the projects.
TIA for answers!

With the exponential increase in the capability of AI, and huge investments made in it, I and thousands of leading experts believe that within my lifetime it will be able to think for itself and resolve philosophical questions by it’s own ('Artificial General Intelligence'). Just a few days ago, it was announced that Microsoft would invest $100b in new supercomputers that would work on AI. The pace and scale is simply mind-boggling to us normal people, but it has huge implications on our life.
If we assume that the above paragraph is correct, and AI will be able to contribute to new discoveries in philosophy - how safe are the arguments for the existence of God?

1. Are the arguments true regardless, because they describe or use a broad metaphysical reality? But many people simply haven't agreed with the arguments yet because they haven't properly studied Aquinas for instance?
2. Given the fact that numerous objections exist, isn’t it possible that an AI with an intelligence many magnitudes higher than us would be able to:

• Develop the arguments further, answer all the objections to the arguments and make them so logically proof that God’s existence would in practice be proven OR
• Expand the objections, come up with new ones and come up with new advances that eventually make the arguments proven wrong

What are your thoughts on these two questions, are you in any way scared of what advanced AI may do to arguments for the existence of God? Please explain why!
(I know that some leading apologists such as Ed Feser (whom I greatly admire) disagree with the capabilities of AI, but his view is in no way uncontested. And seeing how many of the smartest people in the world are working on it, it seems worthwhile to at least discuss the possibility. From Wikipedia: "Most AI researchers believe strong AI can be achieved in the future". In other words, I prefer to not discuss whether Artificial General Intelligence is possible)

In this post I decode the date China & Taiwan & US go to war--
.
888 is the Asian Lucky number
Beijing Olympics were held at 8 pm on 8 Aug 2008= 8/8/8
so I expect the date which triggers an Asian conflict will be 888--
2024= 2+2+4= 8
17 Aug 2024= 8/8/8
26 Aug 2024= 8/8/8
.
26 Aug 2024-- major Skull & Bones date
322 days after the 322nd anniv of Yale Skull & Bones on 9 Oct 2023
22 months 3 days Xi JinPing was awarded a Third Term on 23 Oct 2022
TWENTY SIX AUGUST TWENTY TWENTY FOUR CHINA USA TAIWAN= 666
.
22 March 2022= 22/3/ '22-- Skull & Bones date
PLANES GROUNDED= 223
Flights were cancelled across China as a result of China Eastern Airlines Flight 5735 crash
888 days later--
26 Aug 2024= 8/8/8
.
We know Xi JinPing is a Globalist puppet--
XI= 24 + 9= 33
24 x 9= 216= 6x6x6= 666
.
15 Nov 2012-- Xi became CCP General Secretary
119 days later--
14 Mar 2013-- Xi became China's 7th President
SEVENTH PRESIDENT OF CHINA= 119
Ask yourselves why Chinese leaders use Western numerology
When you type in the Bing search engine--- Who is Taiwan President
the answer you get is ---Xi JinPing
.
26 Aug 2024--
322 days after the 322nd anniv of Yale Skull & Bones on 9 Oct 2023
22 months 3 days Xi JinPing was awarded a Third Term on 23 Oct 2022
32 weeks 2 days after the Taiwan election on 13 Jan 2024
TWENTY SIX AUGUST TWENTY TWENTY FOUR CHINA USA TAIWAN= 666
.
26 Aug= 223 days after Princess Kate was hospitalized on 16 Jan 2024
KATE MIDDLETON= 133
TAIWAN WAR= 133
26 Aug 2024= 7 years 7 months 7 days after Trump's Inauguration
.
FIFTEENTH AUGUST= 223
15 Aug 2024= Ides of August
11 Years 9 months after Xi became General Secretary of China on 15 Nov 2012
3 months 22 days before 7 Dec-- Pearl Harbou 75th anniv of the Taiwan Retreat
133 days after NATO's birthday on 4 April
TAIWAN WAR= 133
9 months 11 days after P Diddy's birthday on 4 Nov 2023
.
23 Aug 2024--Vulcanalia
Day 911 of Putin's Invasion
666 days after Elon Musk bought Twitter on 27 Oct 2022
322 days after Taiwan President's birthday on 6 Oct
.
also keep an eye on--
15 April= 11 months 9 days after King Charles Coronation on 6 May 2023
133 days later--
26 August
BEIJING= 133
TAWIAN WAR= 133
.
so if they stage some stunt which adds to 133 this will confirm the date 26 August
FOOTBALL= 133
STAMPEDE= 133
VOLCANIC BLAST= 133
AIR STRIKE= 133
PRESIDENT= 133
WHITE HOUSE= 133
US AMBASSADOR= 133
KATE MIDDLETON= 133
JULIAN ASSANGE= 133
CROWN PRINCE MOHAMMED BIN SALMAN= 133
METEORITE= 133
FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION= 133
.
18 April= 133 days after Pearl Harbou Taiwan Retreat anniv
.
12 May---Day 133 of the Leap Year
MOTHERS DAY
13 May= Day 133
.
8 June= Day 119 of the Lunar Year
3 months 22 days before 30 Sep-- WW3
.
22 June= Day 133 of the Chinese/ Lunar Year
9 months 11 days after 11 September
119 days after Putin's Invasion date 24 Feb
1190 days after another white dwarf went nova & hit peak brightness on 20 Mar 2021
TWENTY TWO JUNE TWENTY TWENTY FOUR NEW STAR IS BORN= 666
.
8 July= 322 days after 55 Chinese sailors suffocated in submarine accident on 21 Aug 2023
55 CHINESE CREW DEAD IN NUCLEAR SUBMARINE ACCIDENT YELLOW SEA 2023= 911
.
10 July= 10/7
XI INVADES= 10/7
.
17 July= 9 months 11 days after the Taiwan President's birthday on 6 Oct
.
20 Sep= Day 223 of the Lunar Year
.
23 Sep 2024= 1019 weeks after Taiwan Anti Secession Law passed on 14 Mar 2005
.
30 Sep= Day 233 of the Chinese/ Lunar Year
CHINA TAIWAN WAR= 233
.
21 Aug 2023--55 Chinese sailors suffocated in submarine accident
21 Aug 2024= 322 days after the FEMA Emergency Test on 4 Oct 2023
Aug 21= 8/21= backwards= 128
THIRD TERM= 128
CHINESE HACKERS= 128
POWER GRID= 128
FINAL WARNING= 128

Continuing with the exercise of sharing an easily digestible and smaller version of the main updates of the day in the world of AI.

• This AI model can clone your voice in 15 seconds: - OpenAI has introduced Voice Engine, an AI model that can create realistic voice clones from a 15-second audio sample and text input. The technology has various applications but also potential for misuse, especially during elections. OpenAI aims to start a conversation about addressing issues, educating the public, and tracing audio content origins.
• Microsoft and OpenAI plan $100B supercomputer for AI development: - Microsoft and OpenAI are reportedly planning to build a $100 billion supercomputer called "Stargate" by 2028 to rapidly advance OpenAI's AI development. The project would require gigawatts of power and millions of specialized AI chips, with most funding from Microsoft. A $10B precursor called "Phase 4" is planned for 2026.
• MagicLens is Google’s breakthrough in image retrieval technology: - Google DeepMind's MagicLens is a groundbreaking set of image retrieval models that excel in multimodality-to-image, image-to-image, and text-to-image retrieval tasks. Trained on 36.7 million triplets, MagicLens delivers highly accurate search results for open-ended instructions expressed in everyday language.
• TCS aims to build the largest AI-ready workforce: - Tata Consultancy Services (TCS) has announced that it has trained 3.5 lakh employees, more than half of its workforce, in generative AI skills. The company set up a dedicated AI and cloud business unit in 2023 to address the growing needs of customers for cloud and AI adoption, offering a comprehensive portfolio of GenAI services and solutions.
• ChatGPT introduces hyperlinked source citations in latest update: - OpenAI has introduced a new feature for ChatGPT premium users that makes source links more prominent in the AI bot's responses. The update hyperlinks words within ChatGPT's answers, directing users to the websites from which the information was sourced, a feature already present in other chatbot search resources like Perplexity.
• OpenAI's DALL·E now allows users to edit generated images: - OpenAI has launched a new image editing feature for DALL·E, enabling users to modify generated images by selecting areas and describing changes. The editor offers tools to add, remove, or update objects within the image using either the selection tool or conversational prompts.
• NYC to test Evolv's AI gun detection technology in subways: - New York City plans to test Evolv's AI-powered gun detection scanners in subway stations within 90 days, according to Mayor Eric Adams. However, Evolv is under scrutiny for the accuracy of its technology, facing reports of false positives and missed detections.
• Microsoft Copilot banned in US House due to potential data breaches: - The US House of Representatives has banned its staffers from using Microsoft Copilot due to concerns about possible data leaks to unauthorized cloud services. Microsoft has indicated that it plans to address federal government security and compliance requirements for AI tools like Copilot later this year.

More detailed breakdown of these news and innovations is in the daily newsletter.

There is a 4 digit number which has digits a,b,c,d satisfying the equation
1000a +100b + 10c + d = a^a + b^b + c^c + d^d
I need to verify my approach
I had tried to solve without bruteforce is my solution correct
Solution:We know that
1000a + 100b +10c + d = a^a + b^b + c^c + d^d
Now using AM-GM inequality on LHS
1000a + 100b +10c + d ≥ 4* 10^6/4 * (abcd)^1/4
Or,
a^a + b^b + c^c + d^d ≥4* 10^6/4 * (abcd)^1/4
By substituting a=b=c=d
a^a ≥ 10^6/4 * a
The value a is between 3 and 4 or number between (3333,4444)
Let reduce the boud As the equation is of addition and multiplication it is commutative and hence order of value doesn't effect the bound
So let change one 3 from 3333 to 4
The result is false hence the number is greater than the max (3334) or 3433
Let change one 4 from 4444 to 3
The inequality is true then value is less than min(4443) or 4344
The number between (3433 ,4344)
Let reduce the bound more
Similarly change one 3 to 4 in 3433 and one 4 to 3 in 4344
Both result is true hence the number is lower the first bound hence between (min(3434), max(3434))
or Number (3434,3443)
Now we have to bruteforce
Coincidentally the next number of 3434 is 3435 which the solution to the equation.
The answer is 3435

There is a 4 digit number which has digits a,b,c,d satisfying the equation
1000a +100b + 10c + d = a^a + b^b + c^c + d^d
It was asked previously on this subreddit And solved by bruteforce using the algorithm
I had tried to solve without bruteforce is my solution correct
Solution: We know that
1000a + 100b +10c + d = a^a + b^b + c^c + d^d
Now using AM-GM inequality on LHS
1000a + 100b +10c + d ≥ 4* 10^6/4 * (abcd)^1/4
Or,
a^a + b^b + c^c + d^d ≥4* 10^6/4 * (abcd)^1/4
By substituting a=b=c=d
a^a ≥ 10^6/4 * a
The value a is between 3 and 4 or number between (3333,4444)
Let reduce the boud As the equation is of addition and multiplication it is commutative and hence order of value doesn't effect the bound
So let change one 3 from 3333 to 4
The result is false hence the number is greater than the max (3334) or 3433
Let change one 4 from 4444 to 3
The inequality is true then value is less than min(4443) or 4344
The number between (3433 ,4344)
Let reduce the bound more
Similarly change one 3 to 4 in 3433 and one 4 to 3 in 4344
Both result is true hence the number is lower the first bound hence between (min(3434), max(3434))
or Number (3434,3443)
Now we have to bruteforce
Coincidentally the next number of 3434 is 3435 which the solution to the equation.
The answer is 3435

Record broken, record broken, record broken…..Collapse is a broken record.
Last Week in Collapse: March 17-23, 2024
This is Last Week in Collapse, a weekly newsletter compiling some of the most important, timely, useful, soul-crushing, ironic, stunning, or otherwise must-see/can’t-look-away moments in Collapse.
This is the 117th newsletter. You can find the March 10-16 edition here if you missed it last week. You can also receive these posts (with images) every Sunday in your email inbox with Substack.
——————————
Much of the Caribbean & Latin America experienced its hottest March night in history, with temperatures surpassing 27 °C (80 °F).....Some states also felt their hottest March days, with temperatures exceeding 40 °C (104 °F). Meanwhile, an assessment of 150 Indian reservoirs found them lacking—filled to 40% capacity, their lowest levels in 5+ years. Canada broke March records in some spots as well—and the Maldives. Canada also set a record for its warmest winter ever.
A number of Central Asian countries saw record temperatures, which reached 35 °C (95 °F) in some places. Even some locations in Saudi Arabia set new March records. The UN is warning that 2024 will be even hotter. Many Mediterranean countries are already facing serious Drought, but it’s incomparable with Afghanistan’s Drought. Rio de Janeiro hit its highest heat index in 10 years, at 62.3 °C (144 °F). The actual temperature was 42 °C (108 °F).
An independent climate committee in Scotland has admitted the predictable: their 2030 climate targets are impossible to meet, given how little progress they have made. A NASA study determined that the sea level rose .3 inches (.76 cm) in 2023, and El Niño is largely to blame. Around 40 miles (65 km) of creeks in Wyoming were designated unable to sustain life after oilfield discharges polluted them beyond their breaking points.
A study concluded that Antarctica’s isotherm is shifting south. In layman’s terms, this means that average temperatures closer to the South Pole are warming up—about 4x faster than most of the rest of the world. The decrease in snowfall is also impacting sea ice patterns. Atlantic sea surface temperatures continue breaking records.
An upcoming study to be published in Journal of Climate proposes a new term for quantifying extreme heat: “outdoor days.” If a day is too hot for comfort, it’s not an “outdoor day.” The researchers made a website for people to simulate their own temperature limits, and project future livability in their region. The study suggests that those living closer to the equator will unsurprisingly experience fewer outdoor days in the future, while people at greater latitudes will experience more overall outdoor days—although they will be scattered throughout the seasons.
The Panama Canal—which received about 67% of its average annual rainfall last year—has come up with a temporary solution to its low-water-level-locks: reusing water from its locks. This, however, comes at the expense of local water needs, because the process is making the artificial Lake Gatún (Panama’s largest lake) saltier and saltier.
Extreme weather is impacting farmers in Malawi, who are unable to grow substantial harvests. In Louisiana, 90% of a town’s population left since a 2020 hurricane, leaving some 200 residents in scattered post-flood trailer settlements. On Java, 250,000+ were affected by a flood, with at least 5 killed.
Iceland’s long-erupting volcano is emitting a sulfur dioxide cloud that is slowly moving across northern Europe, threatening the ozone layer. The CEO of Saudi Aramco—one of the Top 4 most valuable companies worldwide—unsurprisingly called the green energy transition a “fantasy”. “In the real world, the current transition strategy is visibly failing on most fronts as it collides with five hard realities.…We should abandon the fantasy of phasing out oil and gas and instead invest in them adequately reflecting realistic demand assumptions.”
A new study in Science Advances on tipping points in the AMOC suggests that its eventual Collapse will occur in three abrupt stages.
UNESCO released its 174-page World Water Development Report 2024—a 12-page executive summary is also available. The report states that all the sustainable development goals are being missed, urbanization, consumption patterns, & population growth are stressing water resources, and 25%+ of world rivers tested for pharmacological contaminants exceeded safe concentration levels. Interestingly, the report also claims “Water does not appear to have become a prevalent ‘trigger’ of conflict.” The full report is worth browsing.
——————————
Plastics pollution is worsening with climate change. Manufacturing plastics creates emissions —> Emissions drive temperatures higher —> Higher temperatures degrade plastics faster —> Degraded plastics create need for new plastics (and microplastics) —> Manufacturing new plastics creates more emissions. The full study has more. Another study confirmed what we already know: the oceans are filling up with plastics of all shapes & sizes. A February 2024 Report on Plastic Recycling Fraud eviscerates the plastics industry for their historic complicity in planetary pollution.
Bird flu has been detected for the first time in American livestock (poultry are not considered livestock according to US regulations). A goat at a Minnesota farm tested positive for H5N1. Brazil is fighting dengue mosquitoes with special mosquitoes infected with a bacteria which will stop dengue fever.
The Federal Reserve has been given a supposedly difficult choice: permit a long-term economic decline—or, more likely cut interest rates later this year. US commercial real estate is sagging and unlikely to bounce back strong. Meanwhile, Germany’s economy is in recession, and it’s expected to stay there all year.
The mosquito-borne Bovine Ephemeral Fever (BEF) is killing unvaccinated cattle in New South Wales, and likely to spread more because of climate change. A heat wave canceled school and electricity across South Sudan. The head of the WHO wrote an op-ed on the interdependence of global health with our environment, urging awareness and global action.

“We are now re-learning what humans have always known, but which, since the industrial revolution, we have forgotten or ignored – that when we harm our environment, we harm ourselves….More heatwaves contribute to more cardiovascular disease; air pollution drives lung cancer, asthma and chronic obstructive pulmonary disease…Chemicals such as lead cause intellectual disability, cardiovascular and kidney disease….Illegal wildlife trading also increases the risk of zoonotic spillover that can trigger a pandemic….WHO estimates that pollution, waste and chemicals account for an estimated 14 million deaths a year…” -WHO Chief, Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus

A debt crisis grows for the Global South…and Pakistan finalizes its latest debt bailout from the IMF, $3B in total. A massive multi-billion-dollar debt restructuring is slowly moving forward to target the uncertain Chinese real estate sector. Recent US data on college loans suggest 2024 will be a banner year for young people going deep in university debt: a sum of some $100B USD for all students.
Streptococcal toxic shock syndrome is rising in Japan, with almost 400 cases nationwide in 2024. STSS has a CFR of about 30%, and is contagious through respiratory droplets and wounds. Meanwhile, someone on the bird flu subreddit reported a rumor that a Vietnamese university student was killed last week by H5N1.
Demographers predict a dropping world population within a couple decades. In a growing number of countries, the shrinking population pressures collide with economic and migration goals. The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that Texas can use broad arrest powers to hold suspected migrants, and the world’s copious elections this year are alleged to have led to surging “anti-migrant” rhetoric worldwide.
——————————
Azerbaijan is demanding still more territory from Armenia, after winning two recent armed conflicts against the long-suffering, landlocked nation. Armenian officials believe another war is imminent, one which could see the invasion of land beyond the recently ceded Nagorno-Karabakh territory. Meanwhile, one of Libya’s governments closed a border crossing with Tunisia over gun violence in Wazin, Libya (pop: ~4,000?).
Another Darfur genocide is looming—or already happening. The latest Sudan War, almost one year old, is resulting in Arab militiamen terrorizing & killing the black Masalits. Over 5M Sudanese are on the brink of famine, according to the UN WFP. In the eastern DRC, an intergenerational conflict threatens to destabilize the greater region as M23 and other gangs recruit hopeless soldiers for their offensives. Starvation worsens in Yemen. Farmers protests in Europe—and India—continue.
Uganda’s 79-year old dictator appointed his son to lead the military, cementing a dangerous future transition. A mass grave was discovered in Libya which is suspected to contain the bodies of 65 trafficked humans. Venezuela’s President arrested members of his opposition.
Some of Myanmar’s junta soldiers fled into Thailand when ethnic militias attacked them. As the junta loses ground, reprisals unto civilians are increasing. Haiti’s healthcare system has collapsed, and hunger is growing.
A Pakistani official alleged that Pakistan’s government would consider seizing the mountainous Wakhan Corridor from Afghanistan if Afghan forces continue attacks on Pakistani territory. Such a move would separate Afghanistan from China and open a border between Tajikistan and Pakistan. Pakistan also conducted a retaliatory air strike in Afghanistan, reportedly killing 8—all women or children.
Clashes between protestors and security forces happened last week in Argentina, 100 days after Javier Milei took power, beginning severe austerity policies to social services. Iraq is planning to stop all aid to IDP camps in its autonomous region of Kurdistan at the end of July. Protestors marched in Cuba over blackouts and hunger, chanting “corriente y comida” (power and food). And Niger is kicking out U.S. troops, several hundred personnel in total.
Don’t say you weren’t warned. The German government is seeking to make the nation kriegstuchtig—war-ready and resilient. Their education minister wants civil defense programs brought to schools in advance of a potential conflict with Russia anyone. In the UK, a group of defense experts released a report online about (inter)national security, urging preparation for War. And Latvia is urging conscription to its European allies.
Russia has begun mass-manufacturing a 3-tonne bomb to use in Ukraine. The weapon is an all-purpose aerial bomb for blasting structures, and marks an escalation from 1.5-tonne bombs dropped last year. The Russian military industrial complex (MIC) is also scaling up production of 500-kg and 1.5-tonne bombs. An American admiral claims China is on track for a 2027 invasion of Taiwan after analysts concluded China grew its air force by some 400 planes in the last three years, is dramatically scaling up nuclear weapons production, and has increased its satellite fleet by 100%.
On Friday, a terror attack at a concert hall outside Moscow killed 137+; the Islamic State claimed the deeds of the four detained attackers. That same day, Russia launched a massive strike at Ukraine’s energy infrastructure, leaving over 1M people without power. Ukraine has vowed to continue strikes on Russian oil facilities. Ukraine is building a domestic MIC to meet their ammunition demands and prevent further rollback from Russian soldiers. A Russian missile entered Polish airspace briefly, before landing in Ukraine.
Netanyahu has again vowed to move forward with an offensive into Rafah, despite mounting pressure for a ceasefire. Illegal Israeli settlements in the West Bank are also increasing as the War drags on. The price of onions in Gaza has skyrocketed amid the deadly food shortages. Red Sea ship traffic through the Suez Canal has dropped 60% since the Houthi attacks began months ago. Many ships rerouted around Cape Town, adding $300,000 in fuel expenses for each ship, plus two weeks delay, and some emissions.
——————————
Things to watch next week include:
↠ Senegal votes today for its new president, not long after the previous president suspended elections, faced mounting violent protests, and was ultimately pressured to resign & call new elections.
Select comments/threads from the subreddit last week suggest:
-The way different religions interpret our Collapsy times is interesting, if a bit predictable. This thought-provoking thread crowdsources comments from a wide range of beliefs to better understand how Collapse—if it’s acknowledged—fits into their worldview. The answers may give you greater ability to see how they may act in the later stages of Collapse.
-Being a farmer is not easy during whatever stage of Collapse we are at, according to this weekly observation from a farmer in Ontario. Unpredictable & extreme weather, smoke, stress, and everything else. It could only take one big, bad harvest to throw society into panic.
-The RCMP—Canada’s Mounties—are warning of revolution by the masses if they realize how bad they have it…according to a mostly redacted, and subsequently removed report. The Reddit thread on this story has a smorgasbord of angry copium. “The situation will probably deteriorate further in the next five years, as the early effects of climate change and a global recession add their weight to the ongoing crises.”
Got any feedback, questions, comments, complaints, upvotes, threats, off-grid land for sale, nuclear advice, movie recommendations, etc.? Check out the Last Week in Collapse SubStack if you don’t want to check collapse every Sunday, you can receive this newsletter sent to your (or someone else’s) email inbox every weekend. What did I miss this week?

Part 39
We got loaded up. The APC was actually an AMPV, a thirty-year-old design that looked like a tank without a main gun. It had been upgraded by the Group to use a hybrid magical engine that could output eighteen hundred horsepower, and the tracks had been reinforced to allow it to run at up to ninety miles per hour. It would tear apart anything short of a major road, but it could book it alongside a good number of civilian vehicles.
The Group had stripped the reactive armor off of it, replacing it with a magical version in the form of thin, etched runes that performed almost identically, but weren't one-time use. IN addition, we'd fitted it with an updated system that put a large display a 'microview' image generated from a couple of small cameras in front of the driver. The display itself was capable of showing proper parallax, and had been carefully fine-tuned to look as much like a clear windshield as possible. It wasn't perfect, but it made driving the thing without sticking my head out the hatch possible. There were side and rear displays as well, but only the front showed a 3d image.
Bea and I took turns driving. Yoda couldn't properly fit into the driver's seat, but he refused to drive, in any event, claiming his total lack of experience would make it too dangerous. I wasn't entirely sure about that, because the thing turned on a dime and was easy to control, but two drivers were enough.
The trip was going to take about nine hours, according to Google maps. But I knew that was an optimistic estimate. The roads were likely to be clogged with zombies and crashed vehicles, as well as military and FEMA checkpoints, especially near to population centers. I was planning on a full twenty-four hours, so Bea an I arranged for a two-hour hand-off of the driving and we left.
It was, as I'd suspected, slow going. Not so much at first. Clark County had been mostly untouched, thanks mainly to the fact that it was nestled in the Appalachians and had a population of less than thirty thousand people. These days, thirty thousand people wouldn't make more than a single small town.
We made a decent clip into central Virgiana, simply driving around any wrecks on the road, and driving right over any of the scattered small groups of zombies we found. But as we approached Roanoke, we began to slow down. We found a National Guard checkpoint who was very surprised to see an AMPV rolling up on them, and far more surprised to see two people and a bat-monster step out to talk with the Lieutenant in charge of it. They informed us that there was heavy fighting ongoing in the metro area ahead of us. I told him that I need to get to Baltimore, and he let us through, wishing us luck.
As the seemingly endless trees gave way to residential and commercial development, we slowed to a crawl due to the press of zombies. The APC had a Ma Deuce mounted on top, so I sent Bea up to use it to help clear the way. The chugging of the gun, fed by a magic box of ammo and kept cool by more magic on the barrel, soon filled the interior. Shortly later, maniacal laughter joined it. I didn't blame her, I'd done the same thing the first time I fired a big gun like that.
"She laughs, taking joy in destroying the undead," Yoda noted.
"Nothing wrong with it," I said. "All of us have dark impulses, the urge to destroy things. This is a way of doing so that doesn't hurt anyone."
"Are you so certain they do not feel pain?"
"Yes," I said. "I've looked into how they work. They're not living organisms, they're just bodies being animated by simple magics."
"Does that make them unalive?" Yoda asked.
"Yes," I said.
"So the fact that they are magical in nature makes them inanimate?" I chuckled.
"I see where you're going with this," I said. "No, it's not the magic that makes them inanimate. It's the structure of that magic. It's not a complete mind, it's more like a computer program. It's entirely algorithmic in nature. Sure, there's some randomness involved, but randomness is not creativity. They're no different than a robot, fundamentally speaking."
"I have heard that humanity may be on the verge of producing real intelligence in computers," Yoda mused.
"Ehh," I said, taking one hand off the wheel to make a so-so gesture. "Not really. We've had a really good method of making software that can learn and grow for a couple decades now, and yes, that software is very good at coming across as intelligent. It can be creative, in its own way. But it doesn't really understand the data it manipulates."
"I once asked a computer in the library at the prison to show me an image of a forest with mountains in the background, and it produced a masterful image of such."
I nodded. "Have you talked to one? They can talk well, too."
"I have."
"Each of those was a different program," I said. "The one that spoke to you wasn't the same 'mind', for lack of a better word, as the one that made the image. And while you could get the talking one to feed prompts to the image-creation one, that's about the extent of their interoperability."
"The one that spoke expressed feelings to me," Yoda replied. I nodded again.
"Yes, because it was trained to speak like a person, and people express feelings."
"So how does one tell they are not truly alive?"
"It can be difficult to tell if you don't understand the science behind them," I admitted. "And before you follow that line of reasoning, let me say that I would agree that if we put all sorts of deep learning software together in one machine, with the ability to share data freely with each other, and put all of that under the control of another deep learning system that had access to senses through which to experience the world and so on and so forth, then yes, that very well may produce a living mind. An actual artificial intelligence. But the fact is that we still don't have anywhere near the ability to do that. It takes a lot more processing power for one of these deep learning programs to do what it does than it takes a living mind to do it, and even our most powerful supercomputers are still barely a fraction as powerful as a human brain, which seems to be about the norm for all kinds of sapient life."
"So why then is there so much talk of you being on the verge of such a thing?"
"Hype," I said. "Every TV show, every news program, every online article or newspaper or magazine benefits from people consuming it. So every single one that discusses things like advancements in computing has this built-in motivation to exaggerate and use evocative language, especially in the titles and headlines."
"Hmmm. Humans are a curious people."
"I've noticed that psychology seems to be mostly the same across various species," I said. "It's not just humans."
"Your way of life is very different from ours," Yoda replied. I nodded again.
"Yes, and if you lived the way we do, you'd likely be extremely similar."
He thought about that for a while before he spoke again. Bea stayed in the turret, firing short bursts at the remaining zombies as we continued on.
"So you are quite certain that these undead are not suffering?" he asked.
"No, not at all. There's still a brain, and that brain is still using the nervous system in the bodies. But what I am certain of is that there's no saving them, not at this stage. And with all the injuries and rot they're subjected to, they're almost certainly suffering. Bea is putting an end to that suffering."
"That seems... Convenient."
I shrugged. "Sometimes, life can be that way. I wish it was convenient more often."
After a few minutes of silence, Yoda spoke again.
"Will you stop the vehicle?"
"Why?" I asked. He gestured at the screen. "Look," he said. I did. The zombies in front of us were dressed in modern clothes, and the blood on their bodies still glinted in the late sunlight.
"Hungry?" I asked.
"I am," he said, his voice betraying said hunger. I produced a tarp from hammerspace and handed it to him.
"I'll stop long enough for you to grab one, but bring her back inside to eat her. Lay this out first, to hold the mess. We can't stop long enough for you to eat one, or we'll get swarmed and stuck.
"Very well," he said, then moved into the back, where he spread the tarp out on the floor.
"I am ready," he said. I reached back and tapped Bea on the leg. The gunfire stopped, and she ducked down at Yoda opened the rear hatch and climbed out.
"We're stopping so Yoda can grab a bite to eat," I said. "Just for a moment."
"Got it," she said, then straightened back up.
It only took him a moment to dart out, grab one of the corpses that Bea had just de-brained, and haul it back inside. He began to eat as I drove off. Shortly after, the zombies thinned out again, so Bea joined me in the compartment.
She gave Yoda a long look as she did.
"Interesting?" I asked.
"I'm just wondering if watching me feed is a similar experience for you as me watching him feed," she said.
"He's much grosser," I told her.
"Yes, but I'm used to how I feed," she replied, buckling herself in. "I don't find it gross at all. So I thought maybe me watching him was similar to you watching me."
I thought about that for a second before I answered.
"I don't know," I admitted. "I've been... Different, lately."
"How?"
"The old me would never have let you eat the other vampires," I said.
"They were assholes. The whole cult is," she replied.
I nodded. "Yes, but does that give us permission to behave as badly as them? Killing people because we benefit from their deaths?"
"So you have a problem with me eating Glenn, Robin and that blonde bitch?" she asked. She almost sounded upset.
"No," I said. "I would have had a problem with it a year ago, is what I'm saying."
"So what's different?"
"I don't know," I admitted. "That's kinda what scares me."
"Wait... Is this about that Emperor James storyline from the show?" she asked.
"Something like that," I said.
"Is that legit? I thought they made it up for the series."
I sighed. "No, that really happened. "Sarisa, who was Samara in the show, she really was my best friend, who was grooming me for some purpose I still don't understand. But that grooming would have turned me into Emperor Gerard."
"In the show, he was an asshat," she said. "He almost raped a woman, just because she looked like Ishtar."
"Yeah," I said. "In the actual vision, there was no 'almost'. Not only did I do it, but I was pissed at her not enjoying it. Even though I deliberately hurt her during the act. And the vision wasn't just, you know, visual. I felt everything that version of me felt, experienced it all. I remembered things, how I got there and more."
"Wow," she said. "That's a lot to handle. So you're worried that you're turning into that guy now?"
"The process of me turning into that guy isn't hinged on a single point in time, or a single event. It's something I'm going to be struggling with for the rest of my life. But whatever has happened to me recently... It might be accelerating that."
"You're recognizing this, so why aren't you choosing to still behave the old way?"
"I understand that something external is affecting me, making me more apathetic, but I'm apathetic about it," I said. "Especially because I still care about the things I used to care about. I still think about the things I don't get worked up about, and I still love my family and my friends, and I still want to be done with dealing with this kind of shit, and just have a happy life as a dad and a father. This effect is subtle. It's hard to recognize, and harder to fight against."
"I know how you feel," she said, keeping her eyes on the display in front of us.
"You do?" I asked. She nodded slowly.
"I know that I'm not the original Beatrice," she said slowly. "That she died that night when Tommy brought me over. But I have all of her memories, and they feel like mine. And I remember, the next night, when the change was complete, feeling this draw. It was pulling me towards something. Tommy told me he'd show me, that it was the Heres Sanguis, and the song of the Dark Lord that drew me, and that sounded right, but I was scared of it. I didn't like having those feelings."
She sighed deeply before continuing.
"As time went on, I eventually gave in. I found the cult, and it felt good to be part of them. I felt like I belonged, even though everyone was an asshole. So I stayed, for a long time. But after a while, I began to really understand that the feelings I had for the cult weren't my own. They were being put in me. And I began trying to wall them off. Eventually, I did. I still sort of feel drawn to the cult. I feel like I did something wrong by choosing to help you. But I know that's not right, and I've taught myself to recognize the difference between my own feelings and those."
"I sometimes forget that you've been around a long time, had a lot of time to learn things," I said. "A lot longer than me."
"How old are you?" she asked.
"Forty three," I said. She chuckled. "I was sixty years old when you were born."
"Yeah. Older than Gary was when I met him, and he used to seem ancient to me."
"Then take my advice," she said. "Do a lot of thinking. Be analytical about things. If you know you would have had a problem with something, take issue with it." She gave me a pointed look, and I realized she was waiting for me to take her advice.
I thought about it. I didn't feel worked up about killing her former compatriots, but I knew I would have been. So I thought it through. When I was ready, I spoke.
"We shouldn't have done that," I said.
"Put some feeling in it, Jerry," she said. "Emotions are tricky things. You can fake them into existence."
I nodded. I pictured myself, the Jerry I should be, dealing with this. The guilt wasn't something I could really afford to address at the moment. But I could address the way I would be upset at Bea for going along with it. Which is, I'm pretty sure, what she was getting at.
"How the fuc-" I started, then caught myself. I shouldn't be cursing. "How in the hell do you live with yourself, having killed your own compatriots?"
"I don't," she said quietly. "I'm dead already."
"Snarky humor?" I asked. "Really?"
"What choice did I have, really?" she asked, and I could hear the emotion creeping into her voice.
"It's not like I was close to them. Glenn was like a lovesick puppy, sure, but he wasn't exactly harmless. I once watched him deliberately refuse to hypnotize a thirteen-year-old girl, because Oscar told him that crying and screaming made their blood sweeter. And Robin was worse. She liked to bite guys' dicks off, drink from there. I must have seen each of them kill a hundred people over the ten years I knew them, and that's a conservative estimate."
"Do you think that what they did justifies what you did?" I asked. Then I realized that I still sounded disinterested, so I tried again.
"Do you really think that what they did justifies what we did? Really?"
"No," she admitted. "But I needed what they had."
We sat in silence for a while.
"What's the worst thing you ever did?" she asked.
"Was Glenn and Robin the worst thing you did?" I shot back. She frowned and thought about it.
"I think so," she said quietly. "Maybe not. Early on... I was meaner. But I don't think I ever tortured anyone."
I nodded. I hadn't seen anything worse than that. Predatory killing? Yes. But nothing sadistic.
"You gonna answer me?" she asked.
"Just a couple days ago," I said. "There were these sisters. One a masochist, one a sadists, both psychopaths. They were lovers together, and both did some truly awful things. They were vampires, kind of like you, but different. This guy, Duke, he researched a way of turning living people into your kind of vampires. He made a bunch, but those two were the only ones who didn't run off to join the cult."
"Daywalkers," she said, nodding. "I know them."
"Yeah, well. Both of them were in the prison. They escaped right before the cult attacked. I caught them both, the masochist one, first. She was her usual self, trying to seduce me, begging me to hurt her in exchange for giving up some info on the cult. Something... Snapped in me.
"I worked some magic on her. It ramped up her metabolism to an insane degree. I left her in a cell to starve for hours. Then I captured her sister, as I knew I would. I had her stripped and thrown in the cell with Caliope."
"Holy shit," Bea said. "She ate her own sister?"
"Literally," I said. "She drank her blood and ate her organs, then came back to her senses, realized what she'd done. It broke her. She's got no willpower left. There's not an ounce of defiance in her, and I figure it's just a matter of time before she kills herself."
"That's fucked up," she said. I nodded.
"Did she tell you anything?" she asked.
"David Moriarty's name," I said. "And a couple of coven locations. Some details on rituals. It seemed good intel at the time, but it's been mostly worthless in practice."
"So it wasn't even worth it," she said.
"Not at all," I agreed.
"You both make a fine pair, though there is something off," Yoda said. I glanced back to find him wiping his face with a triangle bandage from one of the first-aid kits.
"What's off?" Bea asked.
"You stink of each other's sex, yet there is no romance. Only the physical act, there."
"I'm a married man," I said.
"Monogamy is then expected of you, is it not? Why did you not mention that you have been unfaithful?"
I glanced back and actually grinned at him. "You've never met my wife," I said.
"Is she that horrible?" he asked.
"Not even a little bit," I said. "In fact, if it was up to me, monogamy would be our thing. Or at least, I think. It's hard to tell, these days. But no, the two of us are what we call 'swingers'. We have both agreed that we can have sex with anyone we like, so long as the other one approves, and we come home to each other."
"That sounds complicated," Yoda said. "My people are not like that. Monogamy is not just expected, but enforced. If a married ghoul were to be unfaithful, it would be within their spouse's rights to eat them."
"We tend to have a bit more variety," I said. "Each marriage is unique. In our case, I'd have been happy with monogamy, but Inanna was the goddess of sex for thousands of years. For her, sex and love are different things. It's not that she thinks sex isn't important, but it's something to be celebrated, like good food. It's a thing people can do to connect them, to have fun together. She was pulling women into our bed even before we got married. And she enjoyed it so much.
"I used to refuse to sleep with anyone else if she wasn't around, but a while back, we had a talk in which I asked her to stop bringing people home so much. She agreed, and in return, I agreed to let her hook up with others. But, it turns out, I'd been rubbing off on her as much as she's been rubbing off on me. She couldn't bring herself to do it unless I was doing it, so I relented. Now, we're just plain swingers."
Bea was staring forward, lost in thought. I wondered what she was thinking about.
----
Specter, Spirit of Terror
She made her antennae and flew off in the direction she'd found the angry mind in, hoping against hope that she could find them in this featureless void.
As she flew, she began to notice a difference. The dreams of some of the minds making up the great web out here had been disturbed. There was a straight line of minds, cutting through the strands of the webs, who were all dreaming of being struck by some force. Trucks and falling rocks and stampedes of various sorts of cattle. Not-Jerry's body must have had an effect on them.
She followed the line until she found them. Both of them. They had come together to commune, and she could sense the emotions flaring. Without any hesitation, she flew right into them.
"...Kill you! You killed them all!"
"Sarisa!" Not-Jerry roared back. "Sarisa! Your name is Sarisa!"
"And your name is Gerard, you murderer!"
"I'm not Gerard!"
"Liar!"
"What will it take? What do I have to do to convince you?!"
"Convince me? Convince me of what? Convince me to love you? Convince me to spread legs that I don't even have so you can put another child in me? Another child I can spend nine months learning to love just so you can rip it away and sacrifice it on the alter of power?!"
Specter gasped. Had Not-Jerry and Not-Sarisa had children?
"I didn't do that!" Not-Jerry objected.
"LIAR!" Not-Sarisa replied with a flood of emotions. Rage, pain, love, despair. All of it rode on a tsunami of memories.Specter found herself caught up in the wave. She lost track of who she was, where she was, what she was doing as the memories overwhelmed her.
----
Sarisa, Goddess of Knowledge and Learning
"Jerry Williams," Sarisa said. "I have waited many lifetimes for this day."
The young, skinny man, backed against the wall regarded her with naked terror and a very obvious erection. Sarisa grinned. Not because of the erection, no. She had no use for such base anatomy. But because she could sense the curiosity under his fear.
She rushed forward, seizing him by the arms as a billion facts sprang to mind. She seized one at random. "Do you want to learn about dung beetles?"
"What?" he demanded again.
"Okay," she replied, thinking of another fact. This was why humans summoned her, after all. To learn. "What about Wickerstedt? It's a part of Bad Sulza now, which is a shame, because it's the hometown of Thomas Naogeorgus, who was a simply amazing playright and poet who-"
"Who the hell are you, lady?" he blurted out. Sarisa cocked her head to one side and then laughed, booping his nose with one finger.
"I'm Sarisa, silly. You made a sacrifice to me earlier. I'm sorry it took so long to get here, but no-one has sacrificed anything to me for thousands of years. I needed time to get my energy back. So what do you want to know? I can tell you about all kinds of things. Did you know that there's a physicist in Italy who gave up on a paper he was working on just an hour ago, after an experiment seemed to falsify his theory, but another physicist in Copenhagen is currently writing a paper that will show that the experiment didn't actually falsify anything..." She trailed off as she realized he was zoning out.
"Okay, you're zoning out. Why don't you tell me what you want to learn about?"
She walked over and sat down on his bed. It was dirty, as young men's beds often were, but comfy. He had a lot of pillows, she noticed.
"Uh..." he said, at a complete loss for words.
He took a deep breath. He obviously had no idea what was happening here, but she could see him mentally shrugging.
"I want to learn about you," he told her. She noticed the erection again and smiled, perhaps a little sadly. She didn't like to disappoint, but she really had no interest in such things.
So she pointed at her breasts and spread her legs, letting him clearly see that, though she was obviously a woman, she had never bothered to make the parts he would be most interested in. "Sorry, I'm not that kind of a goddess."
"Uh..." he replied, then he sat down next to her. "I don't... I wasn't... Sorry, but how do you pee?"
Sarisa laughed. "Are you sure you want to know?" she asked.
"I mean... I'm just curious. I'm sorry, that was a rude question..."
"It's fine," she said, taking his arm in her hands. She leaned against him, feeling his heart. He was every bit as horny as any other boy in his shoes would have been. Actually, a lot hornier. But he cared less about satisfying his urges than about satisfying his curiosity. She smiled, happy to have been summoned by such a curious young man.
"My bladder connects to my anus," she said. "I can pee that way. Or I can simply choose not to need to. I'm a goddess, silly boy."
"Duh," he said. He smiled back, finally, and she noticed suddenly how handsome he could be in the right light.
Part 41

Part 36
I toured the Heavenly Oasis with Jack and Glenda, then left them with instructions to go over the defenses with a fine-tooth comb, coordinating with Yarm's avatar, who would be sticking around for that. When that was done, I went to find Ishantee, who had an office in one of the buildings, a converted private room.
She looked up from typing on a laptop and turned beet red when she saw me.
"Oh, uh, Jerry. Hi. Uh, how are you? How's Inanna?"
I shook my head ruefully as I took a seat in one of the two folding chairs in front of the desk. "I already know you two hooked up. It's fine. I'm not jealous."
"Oh!" she said. She actually put her hand over her chest and fanned herself, like a nervous southern belle. "Oh, hehe. I uh... I don't..."
"It's fine, Ishantee," I said. "Really. She even asked permission, first. You know how we are."
"I do know you like to have... Uh, guests, over. But I thought you had, uh... Rules, you know?"
"I had a rule," I said. "I gave it up in exchange for Inanna bringing fewer guests home." She frowned at my words.
"How does that work?"
"I'm not opposed to, well, I guess swinging is the correct word," I said. "I just want her to myself more often. And the rule only went one way. She's always had my permission to fool around with other women without me, though I honestly believe you two were the first time she's done so. If she's done it before, she's kept quiet about it. My rule was not doing anything without her, and she kept to that rule herself, because she cared about me. But we had discussed this before. It's really okay."
"Are you sure?" she asked, her face scrunched in disbelief. I nodded. "I had sex with some of the girls. Well, all of them. Except Sookie, but Sookie's got her own rule to follow. She watched, though."
"Okay..." she said. "If you say so. Sookie watched?"
"Yeah, she's into anything and everything, including watching. Which reminds me, what about RJ?"
"RJ has given me carte blanche to do whatever, whenever, with any attractive woman. I just have to give him a play-by-play or show pics, after."
"I'll have Inanna text him some nudes, then," I said. "He'll like that."
"He would, indeed."
"So who organized all the defenses?" I asked.
"One of Yarm's avatars did most of the work, but his older son helped out a lot, too. The younger one has been by, but he's shipping out for basic training soon, so he hasn't been as active."
I nodded. Yarm and his boys would have done the best job that could be done.
"Good, good," I said. "Jack and Glenda are going over things now, but they'll probably be leaving soon."
"They'd better hurry, there's a temporal storm passing through. Time's slowing down here."
"Shit," I said, sitting up. She blinked in surprise at the outburst. I reached out with my magical senses, imbuing a little extra time magic into them. We'd been here for a week, already, Earth time.
"Shit!" I said again. "I have to go. I left someone behind. Can you send me?"
"Here," she said, standing up. She held out a hand, and a glowing orb appeared in it. "This will let you come and go as you please. Just picture the place and teleport as normal, but say the word "Oasis" out loud right before you do. You've got about six or seven seconds from saying the password to teleport."
"Do I eat it?" I asked, taking the orb. She nodded. I popped the orb into my mouth, and felt the magic release into me.
"Thank you," I said. "I'm sorry, but I really have to run."
"Go," she said with a smile. "And thank you... For, you know. Understanding."
I smiled back. "Thank you for giving my wife orgasms," I said. She laughed and I teleported away.
----
I found Bea laying on the couch, watching the television. She had stripped down to her bra and panties, and started when she saw me.
"I thought you weren't coming," she said as she sat up. She glanced down, then looked around and snatched up a black t-shirt, covering her torso with it. I could almost see some color reaching into her cheeks.
"I thought you... Just left me. You gave up," she said.
"I'm sorry. There was a temporal storm... I was only gone for about forty minutes, from my perception," I said.
"It's been eight days," she said. Her eyes widened. "You don't know..."
"Don't know what?" I asked.
"Helter Skelter," she said. "It's reached stage two."
"What does that mean?" I asked. Instead of answering, she grabbed the remote and turned on the television. A harried-looking newscaster appeared, eyes down, hands shaking as she read from a script without even pretending to engage the audience.
"...attacks happening all over. FEMA is urging anyone living in urban or suburban regions of the country to proceed rapidly to the nearest evacuation camp. The Divine Crisis Management Group is cooperating with the National Guard and select units of the Army and Marine Corps to sweep selected areas. The Army Corps of Engineers is cooperating with Bechtel, D. R. Horton and NVR, Incorporated to construct barriers, which will be manned by local and state law enforcement around these areas."
The newscaster looked up, her eyes full of fear. "Folks, as bad as things are, we are adapting. I know this is something out of a movie, a zombie apocalypse. But right now, we're holding our own. In time, we will be winning this fight. It's going to be a tough fight, but we can do it. So stay strong out there."
She sighed deeply, looking off screen. "How much longer?" she asked. A moment later she nodded and turned her eyes back down.
"This is an emergency announcement from the United States Government, authorized by the President of the United States and endorsed by Congress and the House of Representatives. The United States and all other countries are in a state of war, against an enemy that is using billions of re-animated corpses to assault our population centers. Attacks are happening all over. FEMA is urging anyone living in..."
Bea turned off the television.
"Holy shit," I said. "We're not far from downtown."
"It's a nightmare out there," she said. Hordes everywhere. They're attacking anything that moves. Another group of vampires came through two days ago. I spotted them, moving at night, and tried to signal them, but a horde got them and tore them apart before they could get here."
"Shit," I said. "I can't stay here."
"Stage two is supposed to last for a week," she said. "It's been four days. So, unless you can do that insta-death trick to tens of thousands of zombies, you're stuck here for at least three more days."
"What happens after stage two?" I asked.
"The Dark Lord comes," she said. "His personal guard will come, tame the zombies and put us vamps back in control of them. Then, the final purge will begin. You'll be able to move, then."
I opened the door, to find that the parking lot was full of zombies. They turned at the sound of the door and began to shamble, walk and jog over. I quickly close the door and added a little magic to reinforce it.
The pounding on the door began a second later. I added some more magic to mute it. Not entirely, but just enough that it wouldn't become annoying. There was no way any zombies would be getting through the magic on the door.
"Well, that's just..." I sighed. "Great."
"Robin's still alive," Bea said. "When you didn't show up, I decided to save her. To kind of... Ration the blood. In case you never came back."
"How long can you go without drinking blood?"
"I need about three pints a night to be healthy. I can get by on one pint a night. Less, if I drink from other vampires. If I don't drink at all, I can go maybe a couple of weeks, max."
I nodded.
"And other vampires are going to be the ones out there, at least until we get closer to the FEMA evac centers," I mused. "Do you need to eat now?"
"Yes, actually, but hunting is too dangerous," she said.
"It was," I said. "But now you've got me to help."
She stood up, dropping her t-shirt. I couldn't help but notice she had a very nice body. Lean, with modest breasts like Sookie, but with slightly wider hips. She bent over to retrieve the shirt and then pulled it on.
"Can you, like, make us invisible?" she asked. I chuckled.
"I can," I explained. "But you might really like it, or really hate it."
"What do you mean?" she asked. I produced a buttplug from hammerspace and held it up.
"Is that a..."
"Yup," I said.
----
Bea needed my help getting the plug in, because she'd never used anything like it before. She only recognized it from the internet.
"There," I said when it was done. "Any pain?"
"No, but it feels weird. Like I have to take a dump."
"Yeah, that's normal. But no pain, uh, up front?"
"None," she said. I straightened up and surreptitiously adjusted myself so she wouldn't see the tent I'd pitched while doing this. Helping her get it in, I noticed that she didn't have the same odor as some of the other vampires. I mean, she did have an odor (everybody does), but it wasn't much stronger than normal, and it was more musky than rotten. I remembered Candy, the captive back at the lab. Bea was cleaner, less rotten. I wondered if that was just personal hygiene, or something to do with her age. She was completely hairless below the eyebrows, except for a little stubble on her legs -and between them- so either could be it.
"Your body seems... Healthier than the other vampires," I said when it was all done.
"I try to stay fed. Lots of small meals. And I shower regularly," she said. "And it's gotten easier as I get older. I have less rot going on. Your friend complained about my smell, though. Said my, uh, pussy smells like a dead fish."
"Sookie can sniff out a vagina in a fish factory," I said. "I wouldn't put much stock in her opinion. Besides, they all smell a little fishy. Guys smell fishy, too. It's the nature of the beast."
"Did you.. Sniff me? Just now?" she asked. I turned to see her pulling up her panties. There was that twinkle in her eyes again.
"I have a very sensitive nose," I said. "And I was right there, so..."
"Well, I'm glad it meets your approval," she said. I snorted back a laugh.
"How do I work this thing?" she asked as she picked up a pair of pants and sniffed them, then made a face and tossed them down, turning towards her room.
"There's a ring. You have to turn it," I said. "It's going to make the plug grow, though. To, uh... Keep it seated, supposedly."
She vanished into the room and returned holding a pair of blue jeans a moment later.
"So I just gotta dig for gold and then twist?" She pulled the pants on and buttoned them up. I nodded.
She reached down into her pants behind her back, and then mostly vanished from view. I saw her examine her arms, the faint outline that remained mostly visible due to my enhanced eyesight.
"Feels dirty, but it looks cool as hell," she said. She looked at me.
"What about you?"
"I can use magic directly to do it," I said, flicking a magical switch I had ready and vanishing. Her silhouette became more visible as the magic of my own invisibility complimented my eyesight.
"You son of a..." she muttered, and I could hear the grin in her voice, even though I couldn't see it on her face.
"Could you have done that for me?"
"I could, but I'd have to redo it every time you dismissed it, or it got broken."
"So the butt plug wasn't just for fun?" she asked, and my mouth responded of its own accord.
"Just? No. But it was kinda fun."
"Uh huh," she said through an even more audible smile.
"You ready?" I asked.
"Yeah, let's go."
----
We crept through the city, avoiding the zombies as best as possible. We kept our eyes peeled for motions that weren't the janky, lurching movements of the zombies, or for black-jacket clad figures. We were a long way from downtown, so we found a bloodstained car with the keys laying on the driver's seat and climbed in. Bea twisted her buttplug and I dismissed my invisibility. If some vampires saw us and tried to make contact, that would make things easier.
We used the major roads to get us close to downtown, then got off and took side streets. We cruised, just fast enough to avoid a nexus of zombies forming on us in response to the motion of the vehicle, and kept our eyes peeled.
The zombies were everywhere on the drive into town. Some were clearly newly infected, but I saw animal skins, medieval outfits and rags a plenty. Quite a few were naked, but I really wished they weren't.
Eventually, we saw furtive motion, as we were passing the Cherry Street Coffee House. It ducked into a sunken entrance with a sign that proclaimed 'Beneath The Streets' in a decorative font.
"Okay, time to go invisible again," I said as I stopped. Here in downtown, things were quieter. It made sense, really. The zombies would have followed the people, who would have fled the more densely packed areas. The people would then lose them in the suburbs, leaving most of the hordes outside of the city proper. Over time, they'd likely wander back in, but for now, it was mostly quiet. A few figures stumbled around in the distance, moving towards the car with slow, lurching steps.
Bea dug into her pants and vanished, and I made myself vanish from view again. We climbed out and stepped away as the first zombie reached the car and pawed at it, confused by the lack of prey. I pocketed the keys, just in case we needed it, though honestly, I was more likely to teleport us back, since I knew where we'd be going.
We slipped into the business, a tour guide for the Seattle underground. The offices and lobby were empty, so we followed some signs down a short flight of stairs, into a tunnel. It was dark, but there was some light ahead, so we followed it.
We came to an intersection where an impromptu camp had been set up. A tent filled the mouth of one branch, with a camp stove and a bucket of water in the other. Stools and various boxes and knick-knacks were scattered around, including a selection of accoustic guitars. Blood splattered the floor, so I checked it. It was dry. Old blood.
I heard a rustling and saw movement in the tent. I waved Bea forward, producing a rifle and standing ready to shoot. She crept forward until she was just outside the tent, then reached back into her pants and became visible again.
"Hello?" she called, her voice sounding scared.
"Who's there?" a male voice demanded. I glanced around, noticing a trio of dead bodies down the hall with the stove and bucket at the mouth. All wore modern clothes.
"My name's Beatrice," she said. "It is the blood that binds us, the blood of the Dark Lord."
"Shit," the voice said. "Just a second."
The tent unzipped to reveal a vampire in a leather jacket. He had a pinched, cruel face and wore the uniform of the cult.
"it's just you?" he asked.
"Yeah. I've been alone all week," she said. "Do you have food?"
The vampire looked around carefully, an ancient-looking 1911 in his hands. "No, but I know where we can hunt," he said. "What happened to your coven?"
"All dead," she said. "Killed by the group, except for one. Her name's Robin, and she's waiting for me back at our place."
"I'm Jake," the vampire said, climbing to his feet. He stuffed his handgun into his pants and stuck out a hand to Beatrice. She took it, then exploded into a takedown that wrapped her legs around his arm and twisted as she fell. They came down and she twisted, climbing onto his back. I rushed forward to help, but she got him pinned all by herself, his arm snapping loudly in the process.
He screamed, his voice echoing through the tunnels, and Beatrice darted her head down to his neck. I could almost feel her fangs sink in, tearing roughly at the artery there.
"What are you doing?!" Jake demanded, but Beatrice had her mouth full. She put a hand on the back of his head and shoved down, kneeling on his back and drinking.
"Get off!" Jake shouted, so I made myself visible. Kathy's enchantment was still active, so he saw a vampire stepping up to point a gun at his head.
"Let her drink," I said. "Or die."
He stilled, his eyes locked onto me. After a moment, Beatrice raised her head. Blood spurted out of the wound. She sucked in a breath, then dipped back down.
"Stop," Jake said, his voice already growing weak. "She's taking... Too much..."
"Guess you shouldn't have given your loyalty to someone called the Dark Lord," I said. He began to struggle again, but his movements were weaker. Beatrice continued to drink as he slowed, more and more, until finally, his eyes flickered and closed.
She drank for a few more seconds, then straightened up. The blood was merely trickling from the wound now. And she began to change.
I watched as color rose through her neck and face. The veins vanished, and her eyes cleared as she panted deep breaths of air. She seemed almost enraptured, her face upturned as blood ran down her chin.
"God..." she gasped as she regained her air, then lowered her gaze to mine. She began to breath heavier again.
"Vampires taste... So good," she said. She stood up and stepped up to me.
"Thank you," she said. She put her hands on my chest and stepped nose to nose with me. "I feel... I feel more alive than I have in over a century," she said. She moved her face even closer to mine.
"That's good," I whispered.
She ran her hands up to my shoulders, then down my arms. Then, she put them on my waist and pulled me forward.
"It's... Intoxicating..." she said. "And I'm not afraid."
"Not afraid of what?" I asked.
"Not afraid of it hurting," she said. Without moving back, she peeled off her shirt and bra, and then pressed her lips to mine. They were warm, as warm as anyone's. As her fingers began to fumble at my belt, I could feel that they, too, were warm.
I went ahead and magicked away our clothes. She sucked in a surprised breath and then eyed me up and down.
"That's so fucking hot," she said. I pulled her body into mine and kissed her, and we lowered ourselves to the floor.
God dammit.
I fucked the vampire.
Part 38