Autocad sitting people
FitPeopleSitting
2021.10.24 19:14 FitPeopleSitting
When fit people sit down or bend their mid section & rather than fat rolls, we see sexy ab muscle rolls or those sexy little skin folds š
2021.01.22 16:14 Elite_Wizard PeopleSittingOnChairs
As long as there are chairs to support us, greatness is on the horizon. We sit atop chairs, not within them. If we fits, we sits! The world is our chair.
2020.07.21 17:42 ZeKingFrog PeopleSittingInChairs
This community of professionals is dedicated to the collection and distribution of images of people sitting in chairs. We have so much to learn from the chairs and those who the chairs support. Join our cause.
2024.05.15 17:12 presumedinnocense Two pieces of critical evidence in triple murder trial are sketch as he!! 30 year vet imprisoned on a life sentence - how did this even happen? Our justice system is truly broken. #freekitmartin
Imagine if you will that you have been accused of a triple murder. Sentenced to a life sentence without the possibility of parole. Twelve jurors in Kentucky found the evidence convincing enough to convict Christian "Kit" Martin for the murders of his neighbors Calvin Phillips, Pam Phillips and Ed Dansereau.
His defense is that he was framed by a vindictive wife (Adele "Joan" Harman) that threatened to ruin him if he divorced her. The jurors got to hear very little about the backstory, a pattern of wild lies and deceptions and accusations against prior men in her lives when things didn't go her way, all discovered by private investigators.
This was a heavy circumstantial case. Joan and her son were allowed to plead the 5th and that fact was not disclosed to the jurors. Out of more than 100 DNA samples tested not one belonged to Kit. There were two key pieces of evidence that convinced these jurors beyond a reasonable doubt the Kit Martin was guilty. Kit claims those two pieces of evidence were planted so lets take a closer look:
First we have the dogtag. I mean, Kit must have done it because he left his dogtag right? There are four critical problems with this evidence:
A good reference for this case is the Dateline episode "The Evil That Watches." https://www.nbc.com/dateline/video/the-evil-that-watches/9000190878
Another good shorter synopsis (though a HUGE mistake is minute 4:25 where he states the phone found in the driveway was determined to be Pam's. It was Ed's phone found in the driveway. Joan was actually the one that took Pam's phone into the ATT store about a month after the murders saying she found it and wanted to get it unlocked (that's a whole crazy part of evidence that also convinces me that Kit is innocent - #joanhadthephone https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2WbFF7SyeSg
submitted by presumedinnocense to DatelineKitMartin [link] [comments]
His defense is that he was framed by a vindictive wife (Adele "Joan" Harman) that threatened to ruin him if he divorced her. The jurors got to hear very little about the backstory, a pattern of wild lies and deceptions and accusations against prior men in her lives when things didn't go her way, all discovered by private investigators.
This was a heavy circumstantial case. Joan and her son were allowed to plead the 5th and that fact was not disclosed to the jurors. Out of more than 100 DNA samples tested not one belonged to Kit. There were two key pieces of evidence that convinced these jurors beyond a reasonable doubt the Kit Martin was guilty. Kit claims those two pieces of evidence were planted so lets take a closer look:
First we have the dogtag. I mean, Kit must have done it because he left his dogtag right? There are four critical problems with this evidence:
- The name on the dogtag read "Martin, Kit" so this dogtag is not military issue. The military only issues tags with the full name (not nicknames) which would have been printed instead "Martin, Christian." Fake souvenir tags can be purchased online (an even in kiosks in some locations) to read what you input on your order. I know a lot of military people and know exactly zero that wear their tags outside of work. But let's say for arguments sake that the souvenir tag really was Kit's. The murders were planned in "precise military fashion" according to the prosecution, yet Kit chooses to put on a souvenir tag with his name on it that morning? I find that very hard to believe.
- This souvenir tag was tested for fingerprints and DNA and they found none. The prosecution argued that while Kit was cleaning up the blood from the carpet in the foyer, the tag must have kept getting in his way so he took it off and set it up on a shelf. That seems really far-fetched.
- The tag was on a string and not a break-a-way chain which was also tested for DNA evidence and there was "some DNA evidence" but apparently not enough to make a comparison to Kit's. This seems really off to me. If someone had just committed three murders, I would imagine they would have sweat a bit leaving behind DNA. Yet interestingly there is no DNA evidence on the tag or string matching Kit.
- Besides the most ridiculous idea that a murderer would even put that tag on before going to commit these murders, he had the forethought to wipe it down real good when removing it when it was in his way (to remove any fingerprints and DNA). Instead of putting it in his pocket, he places it on a shelf and then he forgets to take it when he leaves? Wow, really?
- Kit was portrayed by the prosecution as a highly trained ranger who skillfully planned out these murders (or at least Calvin and Pam's as Ed was an unexpected variable). But then afterwards he walked across the street and placed the murder weapon in his safe instead of ditching it? That's not too bright.
- The 45 casing was found by family members when cleaning the porch area FIVE months AFTER the murders. This was despite the porch area being processed THREE separate times; once by Christian County Sheriffs Department, once when Detective Scott Smith went to spray the scene with Blue Star (Luminol), and lastly when Crime Scene Investigators came in to try to determine where on the property the shootings took place.
- The bullets found in Cal's body were not conclusively linked to Kit's Glock in his safe. But the 45 casing found by family members WAS positively identified as being fired from Kit's Glock.
- Kit testified that when he first moved to the area he hung out with Cal some and did target shooting in Cal's backyard. There is no doubt that Kit was a gun enthusiast, but that does not make a person a murderer. He had spent casings in his backyard, Cal's backyard and in his truck bed. So it would be easy for someone to collect one of Kit's spent casings and plant it on the porch through the latticework.
A good reference for this case is the Dateline episode "The Evil That Watches." https://www.nbc.com/dateline/video/the-evil-that-watches/9000190878
Another good shorter synopsis (though a HUGE mistake is minute 4:25 where he states the phone found in the driveway was determined to be Pam's. It was Ed's phone found in the driveway. Joan was actually the one that took Pam's phone into the ATT store about a month after the murders saying she found it and wanted to get it unlocked (that's a whole crazy part of evidence that also convinces me that Kit is innocent - #joanhadthephone https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2WbFF7SyeSg
2024.05.15 17:11 ReadyCheesecake6052 [WP] Whatās the key? Communication!
Have you ever found the key? Maybe it is on the table or under the sofa. Where is the key? Who hides the key?
Phrases that most people use nowadays, especially Gen Z, when communication is not communication-ing and the discussion is not giving, now, letās dive into the importance of communication and its twin comprehensions.
Communication is a part of our daily lives, from buying groceries in the marketplace to arguing with your sister about who will be sitting next to the window, talking about your crushes at school with your friends, and answering your teacher's questions about the lesson she is teaching (it is only applicable if you know the answer or are listening, oops).
It is crucial to interact with others as successfully as possible, particularly in formal settings or events. As a result, you might think you're the smartest person there.Being able to communicate effectively is also advantageous since it is essential to developing your social skills, building relationships with both business and non-business associates, boosting your self-confidence, and being the person you want to be.
Despite their differences in culture, beliefs, and religion, it will bring individuals from many nations, areas, provinces, and cities together. In order to avoid disagreements over their own opinions and the circumstance in general, communication will serve as a bridge between two people who are generally very different from one another. The ideal way to bring these individuals together and foster positive relationships would be through communication.
Expressing our own feelings to our family, friends, and lovers. It takes communication, using your words to express how you like your dog more than your sister. writing a letter to express your genuine gratitude and love for your friends and lovers in this modern day. Also, there is non-verbal communication such as when you naturally raise your eyebrows when your sister tells you that she is prettier than you, when you hug your friends because you feel that you are the happiest person after you have not seen each other for a long time, and when you wave your hand to your lover who will be going to work. Communication is the key to expressing love and care for the people you choose, no matter what.
We are right! Communication is the key when looking for an answer; communication is the key when we want peace over conflict; communication is the key when we want to express something, even if it is hard to put in a word or say it. Is it still the key when communication is not communication-ing?
āI used to think communication was the key until I realized comprehension is.ā
You can communicate all you want with someone but if they do not understand you or refuse to understand, communication is useless.
submitted by ReadyCheesecake6052 to WritingPrompts [link] [comments]
Phrases that most people use nowadays, especially Gen Z, when communication is not communication-ing and the discussion is not giving, now, letās dive into the importance of communication and its twin comprehensions.
Communication is a part of our daily lives, from buying groceries in the marketplace to arguing with your sister about who will be sitting next to the window, talking about your crushes at school with your friends, and answering your teacher's questions about the lesson she is teaching (it is only applicable if you know the answer or are listening, oops).
It is crucial to interact with others as successfully as possible, particularly in formal settings or events. As a result, you might think you're the smartest person there.Being able to communicate effectively is also advantageous since it is essential to developing your social skills, building relationships with both business and non-business associates, boosting your self-confidence, and being the person you want to be.
Despite their differences in culture, beliefs, and religion, it will bring individuals from many nations, areas, provinces, and cities together. In order to avoid disagreements over their own opinions and the circumstance in general, communication will serve as a bridge between two people who are generally very different from one another. The ideal way to bring these individuals together and foster positive relationships would be through communication.
Expressing our own feelings to our family, friends, and lovers. It takes communication, using your words to express how you like your dog more than your sister. writing a letter to express your genuine gratitude and love for your friends and lovers in this modern day. Also, there is non-verbal communication such as when you naturally raise your eyebrows when your sister tells you that she is prettier than you, when you hug your friends because you feel that you are the happiest person after you have not seen each other for a long time, and when you wave your hand to your lover who will be going to work. Communication is the key to expressing love and care for the people you choose, no matter what.
We are right! Communication is the key when looking for an answer; communication is the key when we want peace over conflict; communication is the key when we want to express something, even if it is hard to put in a word or say it. Is it still the key when communication is not communication-ing?
āI used to think communication was the key until I realized comprehension is.ā
You can communicate all you want with someone but if they do not understand you or refuse to understand, communication is useless.
2024.05.15 17:10 Chen_Geller Tolkien Begginings: the antecedents of Peter Jackson's (and others) Middle-earth
 | I still sit sometimes and chuckle, thinking "When Ralph Bakshi started animating The Lord of the Rings in 1976, did he know what he was going to unleash on the world?" There was also the Rankin/Bass TV special, being developed concurrently, but its the Bakshi film that, in 1979, Peter Jackson saw, and this young Photoengraver would later direct six (!) live-action Tolkien films and, between himself and co-producer Philippa Boyens, are hard to work producing three more such films. Other adaptations since - namely, The Rings of Power (especially Season One) but also games from The Shadow of Mordor to Return to Moria - have at the very least taken cues from Jackson's films. All because a Kiwi photoengraver saw a cartoon.... submitted by Chen_Geller to lotr [link] [comments] But the relationship between these properties is not so clear-cut as it may seem. I ednumbered the similarities and dissimilarities between Jacksons' films and The Rings of Power elsewhere. Now I want to delve deeper into the similarities and dissimilarities between Jackson and previous adaptations of Tolkien. The Rankin/Bass TV SpecialsSide-by-side video comparisons between Jackson's films and the two Rankin/Bass TV Specials do not reveal any similarities that don't come from the fact that they're adapting the same books. This is an important point: Jackson is NOT trying to make some post-modern "collage" Hollywood film. He's only tipping his hat to those adaptations of Tolkien that he had seen growing up and that influenced him personally.1Due to copyright, the Rankin/Bass specials probably didn't air in New Zealand at all, and although it seems Jackson got a hold of the Rankin/Bass The Hobbit before embarking on The Lord of the Rings, he had not seen their Return of the King, certainly before 1999, and neither he nor his close collaborators have made comments about either of the two Specials. By contrast, the (American!) showrunners of The Rings of Power had referenced the Rankin/Bass Specials, and seemingly tipped their hat to it in a set design for season two.2 The Ralph Bakshi filmAs I said, Jackson went to see the Bakshi film. He had enjoyed some of Bakshi's previous film, including the Tolkien-esque Wizards, released the previous year, and went to see his latest. At the time he hadn't read the books, making Bakshi's film his first exposure to Tolkien, but he does admit he "heard the name" of the book beforehand. His biography suggests he saw it in late 1978, when it first premiered, but surely it would have arrived at New Zealand in early 1979.3The connection between the two films had been played up, unsurprisingly, by Ralph Bakshi himself. A leonine, grandiose man, Bakshi is anything but a reliable narrator. His own suggestion that he hadn't actually seen the films - only trailers, he claims - sounds believable enough and certainy understandable.4 But, then, if he didn't watch them, it makes his critique of them as deriviative of his films all the more dubious, even without actually looking at the specifics of what he said: Look at his Lothlorien. Look at my backgrounds of Lothlorien. Take a look! He had much more to see than I did, and if you don't think he lifted it over and over again, you're wrong. I mean, how did he design a knife in Lord of the Rings? How did he design a sword? How did he design the dwarf with his axe? How did he design the fur around him? Why did Peter Jackson put fur around the dwarf? Because I put fur around the dwarf! Why would the dwarf have fur naturally? You see, I could give you a billion little things. I wish I had a movie to look at.5These are truly some confused claims, for the most part. The most credible part here is the Hobbits hiding under the branch from the Ringwraiths, a shot composition later to also be replicated in season one of the Rings of Power, and which we'll get to later. Another claim of Bakshi's that cannot be dismissed out of hand is that, however big or small a debt Jackson owes to his film, he said that Jackson didn't publically acknowledge the influence and felt that it was only appropriate to have welcomed him to visit the set or something: by comparison, Jackson invited Rick Baker, who played King Kong in the 1978 version, to cameo in his King Kong.6 Jackson actually did mention the Bakshi filming in passing in the making-ofs. Then again, he entirely fails to mention the radio serial, either. Ultimately, Jackson possibly in cahoots with New Line Cinema, must have felt it unwise to point to a previous adaptation that had only achieved mixed success, at the outset of his own enterprise. He did talk more about the Bakshi film, and more fondly, in the director's commentary to The Fellowship of the Ring and in a couple of later interviews, which are significant gestures, but he clearly wasn't going to trumpet the influence Bakshi's film had on him off of every rooftop.7 In his 2006 biography, Jackson actually briefly reviews the Bakshi film: I liked the early part ā it had some quaint sequences in Hobbiton, a creepy encounter with the Black Rider on the road, and a few quite good battle scenes ā but then, about half way through, the storytelling became very disjointed and disorientating and I really didnāt understand what was going on. However, what it did do was to make me want to read the book ā if only to find out what happened!8This is a complementary but admittedly mixed review, and Jackson had made similar comments since, calling it "brave and ambitious" but consistently decrying the hokum of the film's second half.9 Now, it is true that artists can be influenced by a work of art in spite of themselves, but lets see if we can try and quantify the influence. From the outset, in the audio commentary, Jackson remarks that "our film stylistically is very different and the design is different," which is apposite: Bakshi swore a debt to Howard Pyle, which certainly leaves its mark of the gorgeous natural bakcdrops, but a source closer at hand (especially considering his follow-up fantasy film, Fire and Ice) is the most popular fantasy illustrator of his day, Frank Frazetta: Bakshi's Witch King is practically ripped from Frazetta's famous "Dark Rider" illustration.10 Jackson's approach, however, was steeped in a kind of romantic realism that by and large eschewed the heightened work of Frazetta, opening a yawning stylistic gulf between his film and Bakshi's on a general level. Bakshi's Hobbit-holes have overhanging roofs that give the impression of fairies living under mushrooms (which they in fact had in his previous film, Wizards) and the interiors of Bag End are earthen, more of a rabbit-hole than Jackson's English countryside villa. There are some similarities, like the Hobbits having similarly-clipped pants, but its hard to say costume designer Ngilla Dickson had Bakshi in mind for that look. There's the basic structure of the narrative: both films leave some of the same plot beats out - Tom Bombadil, most notably - both intercut the Frodo and Aragorn storylines throughout (as per the appendices rather than the body of the text), and both open with a prologue. However, many of these are common-sense approaches that, if one were to put 100 screenwriters in a room, a good 90 of which would choose to pursue: in fact, Sir John Boorman's earlier Lord of the Rings script had likewise intercut the stories and redacted many of the same episodes as both Bakshi and Jackson, and similar approaches were taken in the 1958 Morton Zimmerman treatment. Certainly, in the case of the choice to pursue a prologue, a precedent closer at hand exists in the form in the 1981 radio serial, a point made all the stronger by the fact that when Jackson first concieved of and sketched the prologue, he hadn't seen Bakshi's film in 20 years.11 Bakshi did claim that New Line were screening his film repeatedly, but author Ian Nathan says that was never the case. Miramax did screen the film for Jackson in 1997, after he'd written the treatment. Jackson's treatment included Glorfindel and Erkenbrand, who in subsequent drafts are replaced by Arwen (Legolas in Bakshi's film) and Eomer, but still I find that it falls more into the realm of common-sense screenwriting decisions than anything that could be tied to Bakshi in a clear way, especially the latter which happens at the end of Bakshi film, a part of the film Jackson admits to have found incoherent.12 Rather, the place to look for similarities between the two projects is in the opening leg of The Fellowship of the Ring. Jackson actually, in the director's commentary, points out the shot of Odo Proudfoot calling "Proudfeet!" as a deliberate homage to Bakshi's shot, "which I thought was great." He doesn't acknowledge a couple - only a couple - of other shots that are quite similar: one is the evocative shot of the Ring tumbling over the rocks in Gollum's cave just before Bilbo finds it. Another still is an entire sequence of shots which misdirect us into thinking the Ringwraiths killed the Hobbits in their beds. Both are a little TOO similar to be waved away as coincidental.13 The Ringwraith shot is a more special case: It was nominally based off of a John Howe illustration, ostensibly of the Bakshi scene. But Jackson - who's quoted review of the Bakshi film mentions this scene - could hardly not notice the similarity to the Bakshi scene, especially since the scene doesn't at all play like this in the novel. What's more, the scene was first storyboared only shortly after Jackson say Bakshi's film for the second time, and shot not too long after that being that it was the first scene filmed. So its only fair to cite Bakshi as an influence on that shot.14 https://preview.redd.it/9mbqqm4zul0d1.png?width=550&format=png&auto=webp&s=a45cdd06543d70200e3eacf150f14d03d222203b There are other bits and pieces: did Jackson have Bakshi in mind when he added a scene of Saruman rallying up the Uruk-hai before the siege of Helm's Deep? Its hard to say. An even more elusive case is made by Bakshi: "I'm glad Peter Jackson had a movie to look atāI never did. And certainly there's a lot to learn from watching any movie, both its mistakes and when it works." In other words, Bakshi here suggests his film influenced Jackson in terms of what NOT to do. To his credit, Jackson does remember that the design process for Treebeard was in part motivated by trying to divorce him from the Bakshi version, which both him and Dame Fran Walsh remember as being "like a walking carrot." But when we start getting into that level, it all becomes very tenuous. There were a lot of things about the fantasy genre in general - Conan the Barbarian and Willow are oft-cited by Jackson - that he tried to avoid.15 Ultimately, I have to judge that the similarities between the two versions amount to a handful of rather insignificant beats, all in the first hour of Fellowship of the Ring. To hyperbolically play up the similarities between the two projects is to give in to Bakshi's hyperbolic rhetoric. Tolkien illustrationsJackson's first and, at the time, only copy of The Lord of the Rings was a tie-in to the Bakshi film. This would mean he hadn't gotten into the world of Tolkien illustrations until developing his own films, when he suggests he went on a detail-exhaustive search for Tolkien art. He had seen Tolkien's own illustrations, but decided that they're "not very helpful in terms of the lighting and the mood."16The most acclaimed illustrators of the previous era of Tolkien were Pauline Bayens (whose Minas Tirith is reproduced in the Rankin/Bass Return of the King) and the Brothers Hildebrandt, whose bestial Balrog presents a precursor both to Bakshi's but also to the Minotaur-like Balrog of John Howe.17 Howe was one of a trifecta of Tolkien illustrators, along with Ted Nasmith and Alan Lee, to enjoy great vogue at the time when Jackson was developing his films. Of the three, Lee is often deemed the most celebrated and certainly made the biggest impact on Jackson, whose next copy of the book was to be an Alan Lee illustrated edition. But he also noticed Howe through is work on Tolkien calendars, and later also purchased some originals of Ted Nasmith. All three were approached to participate in concept design for the films, although Nasmith sadly had to decline.18 In many places, Jackson precisely copied designs of Lee's and Howe's existing paintings, and in some places carbon copied their lighting and composition for shots, as well as grading the films (before the advent of the latest remaster) somewhat along the lines established in their paintings. But the majority of Lee and Howe's work for Jackson was in producing NEW concept art to his specifications, and so its wrong to look at Jackson's films as being a part of the Lee-Howe ouevure, as such. The 1981 Radio SerialA less touted influence on Jackson's film is the superlative 1981 BBC radio serial. Where Jackson hadn't reread the book nor revisited Bakshi's film between 1979 and 1997, he had spent much of the that time listening on-and-off to a tape of the radio serial, usually while working in his garage on special effects.19The most obvious similarity is the casting of Sir Ian Holm, who had voiced Frodo in the radio serial, as Bilbo. Holm was apparently at the top of Jackson's casting wishlist, partially for this reason. A particularly striking moment occurs when Holm's Frodo quotes Bilbo's "Its a dangerous business Frodo, going out your door: you step on to the road, and if you don't keep your feet, there's no knowing where you might be swept off to", a line again given to Holm - now as Bilbo - in voiceover at the same spot in Jackson's film.20 Again, many of the similar structural choices here are similar to Jackson, adding a prologue, contracting the early stages of Frodo's quest and intercutting the Aragorn and Frodo's stories throughout. Brian Sibley admits to have modelled his prologue on Bakshi's own, but Jackson is unlikely to have known it at the time, and when we start thinking in terms of second-hand influences we're again into very tenuous territory. Otherwise, the influence doesn't seem all too great, although Sibley remembers that Walsh, perhaps half-jokingly, told him "we stole your ending" in the way that they did the Grey Havens and then a quick segue to Sam's return home, basically along the lines of the book.21 A young, and already Tolkien-devotee, Sir Ian Holm recording Bilbo Sibley had recruited his cast from the BBC's company of actors, which is also the troupe Bakshi turned to, meaning that Sibley ended-up with Bakshi's Boromir (Michael Graham Cox) and, notably, his Gollum (Peter Woodthorpe). In spite of Woodthorpe's evocative performance of Gollum's voice in both the Bakshi and Sibley versions, its influence on Andrew Serkis' performance of Gollum is nonexistent, as Serkis had developed the voice before having heard Woodthorpe rendition, having only read The Hobbit prior to being cast.22 Other fantasy filmsJackson had seen pretty much all the fantasy films of the 1980s, and while they were important in terms of establishing the genre, they hadn't left much of an impression on Jackson. The most succesful - George Lucas' Star Wars - was more space-fantasy, undoubtedly impressed Jackson but didn't much influence his films: to this day, he professes to not be a huge Star Wars fan, in spite of the amiacable manner he and Lucas took with each other in later years, and admits that he sees the influence of Lucas more "in what he did for the industry, not in terms of the actual films that he made."23The first major high-fantasy film, Sir John Boorman's Excalibur, was a little closer to Jackson's heart, but isn't much of an influence on his films either. Its true that Jackson's films feature a lot of plate armour, but that's indebted primarily to John Howe's abiding love of late Medieval armour, and at any rate is quite different to the Enlightement-era suits of armour one finds in Boorman's film. Willow, produced by George Lucas, was a big shot to the arm of New Zealand's fledgling film industry, and like Star Wars is much indebted to The Hobbit, but left a bad impression on Jackson.24 The Clockmaker's Cottage in Sir Ridley Scott's Legend Two exceptions are to be cited; Ray Harryhousen's stop-motion fantasy films from the 1950s were huge favourites of Jackson's, although their more Graeco-Roman subject matters were a genre apart from Jackson's films. He is also a big fan of Sir Ridley Scott, and while he joins the consensus of deriding William Hjortsberg notorious screenplay, had taken some cues from his Legend (1986): there's something of the Clockmaker's cottage in Rhosgobel, and Jackson referenced some of the features of Tim Curry's devilish "Lord of Darkness" for the Wargs sinewy faces.25 Other filmsJackson took influence from paintings of old battles and landscapes, but surely his biggest influences are other films: Zulu and Saving Private Ryan had been referenced for Helm's Deep, and there's a touch of Terrence Malick's The Thin Red Line, which Jackson had watched before principal photography, to the atmospheric shots that close the Fellowship prologue. Jackson admitted to rewatching mostly Scorsese films while shooting, and certainly the energy of his moving cameras find a closer kin in Scorsese's films than in anyone else's. There's something of David Lean's Lawrence of Arabia to Jackson's intention to make living, breathing people out of his fantasy characters.26Surely the inspiration for the shot of Aragorn arriving at Helm's Deep But there's one film that looms largest in Jackson's films, overshadowing any influence we're looked at so far: Mel Gibson's latest spectacular, Braveheart. Along with other films of this kind like Dances with Wolves and Rob Roy (Gladiator came too late to much influence Jackson's films) it is of crucial importance to the overall cinematic style of Jackson's films, having come out just as Jackson first started thinking of making an original fantasy film, and winning the academy award for Best Picture before any sustained work was done to develop The Lord of the Rings.27 Footnotes
ConclusionsAny notion that Jackson's films are derivative of previous Tolkien adaptations - namely, Bakshi's - are very much hyperbolic, and stem more from adopting an inflated rhetoric taken by the likes of Bakshi. As an adaptation, Jackson's works are based soley on Tolkien's books, and merely tip their hat occasionally to previous adaptations - and not all previous adaptations, either. Cinematically, they draw rather from other sources: less from other adaptations of Tolkien or other fantasy film (Tolkien-esque or not) and more from historical epics, both from the 1960s but also and especially from the time in which Jackson first started developing his films. |
2024.05.15 17:09 luvhavin 20M, no bros, no gf
(LONG ASAB)
I was with my gf for like a yr and half till we parted ways a few days ago. I still remember everything leading up to it and everything she said while i was leaving her apartment on campus for the last time, like it was yesterday. When we started dating, I hung out with my many friends(many compared to now), and was quite social and fun. When we got together, i continued hanging out with these people, but it became increasingly difficult to spend time with them AND her in my free time. So, deep in love, I chose her.
Slowly, but surely, these people i used to hang out with slowly stopped texting me. First slowing it down to when they needed or wanted something from me, then just radio silence after that.
Fast forward about a year and a few months, and I decide to make some lifestyle changes after the few of my friends i actually kept around, who iād known damn near all my life, dubbed me after not having the funds to go on a vacation with em. One of the friends i was gonna go with spam texted me, RIPPING INTO ME abt being a bullshit brokie. This ripped me to shreds. It completely tore down my confidence in myself, dismantled everything that i thought about myself, and completely had me in pieces after reflecting on it.
I was broken. The shame and guilt of not having it together was enough to shatter my ideals at the time. With that being said, I had to rebuild my life. Iād had enough of outsiders and wanted to focus on building my life with the woman who was still by my side, whom i was, and still am, deeply in love with. I saw all she wanted. But i couldnt help but deny how hurt i was. I couldnt help but try to find a way to make some progress in life so i would never feel that shame and guilt of being a bullshit brokie ever again.
I tore myself down even more, stuck on the fact that my life was a mess. Iād been stuck the fact dat i had no bros anymore. Stuck on the fact that despite me going to countless job interviews, i couldnt land anything, Iād told her,āI dont deserve u at all. Im literally poor and u deserve everything.ā I told her, āI hate my myself.ā I cursed myself to her, yelling a screaming. I said all of this, but shouldve been saying,āill be better for us, ill be better for you. Ill give you everything you deserve.ā
I was a mess. I had no love to give myself. Despite this, she always told me to never give up and grind! She told that she wouldnt be with meif i didnt deserve her, and all she wanted was to be with me. But, since i had no love for myself and denied this for so long, i couldnt see that i had no love to give her, despite my loving her to death. I was so fixated on wut other people told me, i truly did forget to show her that i love her. I was simply too busy hating myself. I saw what she wanted outta me. Time was of the essence, as things were crashin and burnin before my eyes, where my gf could also see. I quickly got it together as much as i can manage right now, getting a FT job on top of my PT job, and figuring out what career i wanna attack to go back to school and get my degree for. I rethought everything, from seeing how important it was for me to gain some weight, to the importance of my relationship with God and myself alike, to the importance of findin and walkin a career path, to the importance of developin my mind to be more disciplined.
It took around a month and a half to get hired at my current occupation, and in this time i did all of this thinking and made all of these decisions. However, this unknowingly had put a burden onto my gf. One time she told me, āSometimes I feel like you arent here, even though you are.ā
Even though, it was all for US, i see now that the way i was acting put an energy out there that i never intended for her to feel EVER. When i was even only looking for a job, it took up much of my time because i was applying to so many jobs everyday, always on my phone. By the time i was done, id already be saying hurtful things about myself, rolling up to smoke it away and just sit there barely talking to her. I even went to 5 job interviews within a 4 day period. Then i FINALLY get hired, and im even more distant and angry because now im adjusting to my new job.
She thought id been cheating on her. She thought i was lying about where i was and who i be with, despite her knowing i have nobody except my family and her. She thought id been having sex with somebody else and lying to her about it. She said she wanted to believe me but cant. I asked her why. She said cuz she thinks im lying to her face. She said its cuz she think i cheated on her. But i just wasnt. I was always truthful no matter what. She was literally my everything. She was my will to strive and be better personified. She was dedication, living and breathing and walking with me. Iād still do anything for that woman. She was the only person left who still had faith in me, but i ruined it by forgetting to show my love for her. When i look at it now, it wasnt right by myself, by her, or by God, to be breaking myself down with so much negative enegy then FEEDING HER WITH IT. Even though she sees that im on my feet now, and she sees that im capable, to her, im a liar and a cheater. To her, im digusting. To her, im not even a man.
But now sheāll never know the truth. The truth that i simply changed to start feeling better about myself and change our lives to that of which we dream of. The truth that i love her with all my heart and my loyalty for her runs deeper into my soul than the ocean. I feel so empty. So broken.
Now im picking up pieces of my shattered mind, heart, and soul, putting the pieces back together one at a time.
I just hope she sees me when ive risen from the dead
Regenerated better than ever
With ample love and affection to give her , indefinitely
To all of you(young males in particular): Dont ever forget to show your partner you love them, because wut YOU go thru, YALL go thru. Despite YOUR ISSUES, SHE HAS HER OWN!!! Be strong in the face of the person you love. Allow them to be on your side. Always be on their side. Plz save your heart and dont be like me: fumblin a 50/10 cuz ur sad nd depressed. Dont even bring dat shit to her, for her good and your own. Sheāll resent u forever if you drag her energy down. Be lighthearted, affectionate, passionate, passive, and tempered. Work hard on yourself and your future, by bein disciplined and jus hard fr. Show her that u hard, but also that she resides in your soft spot
To her(if you see this): You know my name, you know who i am. You know who you are, despite me not speaking your name on this public forum.
I love you
You are still my everything
You have always been my everything
You will be my everything forever
Iāll stop at nothing for you to see what im truly made of
All i want is to be with you
For you are everything i could ever want in this world
May God bless you with everything youāve ever asked of Him
To my old friends(some of which i cant even face yet, and others that did me wrong): God bless you all! I hold no grudges!
submitted by luvhavin to u/luvhavin [link] [comments]
I was with my gf for like a yr and half till we parted ways a few days ago. I still remember everything leading up to it and everything she said while i was leaving her apartment on campus for the last time, like it was yesterday. When we started dating, I hung out with my many friends(many compared to now), and was quite social and fun. When we got together, i continued hanging out with these people, but it became increasingly difficult to spend time with them AND her in my free time. So, deep in love, I chose her.
Slowly, but surely, these people i used to hang out with slowly stopped texting me. First slowing it down to when they needed or wanted something from me, then just radio silence after that.
Fast forward about a year and a few months, and I decide to make some lifestyle changes after the few of my friends i actually kept around, who iād known damn near all my life, dubbed me after not having the funds to go on a vacation with em. One of the friends i was gonna go with spam texted me, RIPPING INTO ME abt being a bullshit brokie. This ripped me to shreds. It completely tore down my confidence in myself, dismantled everything that i thought about myself, and completely had me in pieces after reflecting on it.
I was broken. The shame and guilt of not having it together was enough to shatter my ideals at the time. With that being said, I had to rebuild my life. Iād had enough of outsiders and wanted to focus on building my life with the woman who was still by my side, whom i was, and still am, deeply in love with. I saw all she wanted. But i couldnt help but deny how hurt i was. I couldnt help but try to find a way to make some progress in life so i would never feel that shame and guilt of being a bullshit brokie ever again.
I tore myself down even more, stuck on the fact that my life was a mess. Iād been stuck the fact dat i had no bros anymore. Stuck on the fact that despite me going to countless job interviews, i couldnt land anything, Iād told her,āI dont deserve u at all. Im literally poor and u deserve everything.ā I told her, āI hate my myself.ā I cursed myself to her, yelling a screaming. I said all of this, but shouldve been saying,āill be better for us, ill be better for you. Ill give you everything you deserve.ā
I was a mess. I had no love to give myself. Despite this, she always told me to never give up and grind! She told that she wouldnt be with meif i didnt deserve her, and all she wanted was to be with me. But, since i had no love for myself and denied this for so long, i couldnt see that i had no love to give her, despite my loving her to death. I was so fixated on wut other people told me, i truly did forget to show her that i love her. I was simply too busy hating myself. I saw what she wanted outta me. Time was of the essence, as things were crashin and burnin before my eyes, where my gf could also see. I quickly got it together as much as i can manage right now, getting a FT job on top of my PT job, and figuring out what career i wanna attack to go back to school and get my degree for. I rethought everything, from seeing how important it was for me to gain some weight, to the importance of my relationship with God and myself alike, to the importance of findin and walkin a career path, to the importance of developin my mind to be more disciplined.
It took around a month and a half to get hired at my current occupation, and in this time i did all of this thinking and made all of these decisions. However, this unknowingly had put a burden onto my gf. One time she told me, āSometimes I feel like you arent here, even though you are.ā
Even though, it was all for US, i see now that the way i was acting put an energy out there that i never intended for her to feel EVER. When i was even only looking for a job, it took up much of my time because i was applying to so many jobs everyday, always on my phone. By the time i was done, id already be saying hurtful things about myself, rolling up to smoke it away and just sit there barely talking to her. I even went to 5 job interviews within a 4 day period. Then i FINALLY get hired, and im even more distant and angry because now im adjusting to my new job.
She thought id been cheating on her. She thought i was lying about where i was and who i be with, despite her knowing i have nobody except my family and her. She thought id been having sex with somebody else and lying to her about it. She said she wanted to believe me but cant. I asked her why. She said cuz she thinks im lying to her face. She said its cuz she think i cheated on her. But i just wasnt. I was always truthful no matter what. She was literally my everything. She was my will to strive and be better personified. She was dedication, living and breathing and walking with me. Iād still do anything for that woman. She was the only person left who still had faith in me, but i ruined it by forgetting to show my love for her. When i look at it now, it wasnt right by myself, by her, or by God, to be breaking myself down with so much negative enegy then FEEDING HER WITH IT. Even though she sees that im on my feet now, and she sees that im capable, to her, im a liar and a cheater. To her, im digusting. To her, im not even a man.
But now sheāll never know the truth. The truth that i simply changed to start feeling better about myself and change our lives to that of which we dream of. The truth that i love her with all my heart and my loyalty for her runs deeper into my soul than the ocean. I feel so empty. So broken.
Now im picking up pieces of my shattered mind, heart, and soul, putting the pieces back together one at a time.
I just hope she sees me when ive risen from the dead
Regenerated better than ever
With ample love and affection to give her , indefinitely
To all of you(young males in particular): Dont ever forget to show your partner you love them, because wut YOU go thru, YALL go thru. Despite YOUR ISSUES, SHE HAS HER OWN!!! Be strong in the face of the person you love. Allow them to be on your side. Always be on their side. Plz save your heart and dont be like me: fumblin a 50/10 cuz ur sad nd depressed. Dont even bring dat shit to her, for her good and your own. Sheāll resent u forever if you drag her energy down. Be lighthearted, affectionate, passionate, passive, and tempered. Work hard on yourself and your future, by bein disciplined and jus hard fr. Show her that u hard, but also that she resides in your soft spot
To her(if you see this): You know my name, you know who i am. You know who you are, despite me not speaking your name on this public forum.
I love you
You are still my everything
You have always been my everything
You will be my everything forever
Iāll stop at nothing for you to see what im truly made of
All i want is to be with you
For you are everything i could ever want in this world
May God bless you with everything youāve ever asked of Him
To my old friends(some of which i cant even face yet, and others that did me wrong): God bless you all! I hold no grudges!
2024.05.15 17:09 ThrowRAdeity Can someone tell me it will be okay lol
Hi Reddit, I believe I have suddenly developed lactose intolerance over the course of three months. It started suddenly overnight and just gets worse, only with dairy it seems. I had sour cream and cheese yesterday and the regret is hitting! Lactaid pills donāt work but they prevent some symptoms.
Right now I have having stomach and intestinal cramping, diarrhea, and gas, while at work. Itās really uncomfortable and triggering anxiety.
People with both lactose intolerance and anxiety, how do you get through this? The anxiety just makes it worse and I am sitting in the bathroom shaking
submitted by ThrowRAdeity to lactoseintolerant [link] [comments]
Right now I have having stomach and intestinal cramping, diarrhea, and gas, while at work. Itās really uncomfortable and triggering anxiety.
People with both lactose intolerance and anxiety, how do you get through this? The anxiety just makes it worse and I am sitting in the bathroom shaking
2024.05.15 17:09 Informal-Ad7660 To what extent are you using AI to write outbound emails?
Hi Reddit,
Subject line say's everything. Wanted other peoples opinion on how greatly you are leaning on AI for drafting emails?
I feel with the current demands, sitting their and personalizing each email manually is far to tedious with how competitive most markets are. I feel most emails go completely unread to begin with so I am struggling with this idea that I should spend hours writing them.
Can you guy's/girls share your thoughts?
Thx.
submitted by Informal-Ad7660 to sales [link] [comments]
Subject line say's everything. Wanted other peoples opinion on how greatly you are leaning on AI for drafting emails?
I feel with the current demands, sitting their and personalizing each email manually is far to tedious with how competitive most markets are. I feel most emails go completely unread to begin with so I am struggling with this idea that I should spend hours writing them.
Can you guy's/girls share your thoughts?
Thx.
2024.05.15 17:07 Mysterious_Singer811 "60% in PCM is harder than 90% in arts" debate.
Never in my life, have I ever heard an actually good student say that. Those of my friends who took pcm/b because that's what they were genuinely good at, thrived in what they did.
Its not so much streams as it is the difference between board exams and competitive exams. Here, we can all agree one is tougher.
But when I hear someone repeatedly and unwaveringly insist that "trust me bro pcm is so hard", "humanities/commerce wale nahi samjoge", it makes me wonder, if you find it so damn difficult then did you ever ask yourself, "maybe it isn't for me?"
Rather than demeaning others, ask yourself why you're doing something you hate. And I have actually heard jokers say that taking pcm in itself is an achievement (While they are failing). Now is it really?
Look if you are doing something under social pressure or because you are so narrow minded that you think picking something that actually interests you will make you less worthy of respect, then that is your lack.
I have scored 96% in humanities and my friends in PCM/PCB streams have done equally well. Because we actually worked. I'm sick of hearing lazy folks, who sit around complaining all day like this, tell me that my hard work was less worthy. Those who don't put in the work will fail everywhere.
There were people failing in my class in humanities, and a surprising number. Even though they were all very bright kids. But what seemed like a bunch of jargon to them, made sense to some others.
So it all depends on your interest and aptitude. If putting others down is the only thing in your life that makes you worth anything, you are pathetic. Those who are actually working hard will never feel the need to spend time demeaning others. Comparing two completely different things just to make excuses for yourself is redundant.
Its even more sad to hear 17-18 year old teenagers have such a backward mindset. Its a failure of society as a whole that it continues create generations of parents who will pressurise and belittle their own kids the same way their parents treated them.
submitted by Mysterious_Singer811 to CBSE [link] [comments]
Its not so much streams as it is the difference between board exams and competitive exams. Here, we can all agree one is tougher.
But when I hear someone repeatedly and unwaveringly insist that "trust me bro pcm is so hard", "humanities/commerce wale nahi samjoge", it makes me wonder, if you find it so damn difficult then did you ever ask yourself, "maybe it isn't for me?"
Rather than demeaning others, ask yourself why you're doing something you hate. And I have actually heard jokers say that taking pcm in itself is an achievement (While they are failing). Now is it really?
Look if you are doing something under social pressure or because you are so narrow minded that you think picking something that actually interests you will make you less worthy of respect, then that is your lack.
I have scored 96% in humanities and my friends in PCM/PCB streams have done equally well. Because we actually worked. I'm sick of hearing lazy folks, who sit around complaining all day like this, tell me that my hard work was less worthy. Those who don't put in the work will fail everywhere.
There were people failing in my class in humanities, and a surprising number. Even though they were all very bright kids. But what seemed like a bunch of jargon to them, made sense to some others.
So it all depends on your interest and aptitude. If putting others down is the only thing in your life that makes you worth anything, you are pathetic. Those who are actually working hard will never feel the need to spend time demeaning others. Comparing two completely different things just to make excuses for yourself is redundant.
Its even more sad to hear 17-18 year old teenagers have such a backward mindset. Its a failure of society as a whole that it continues create generations of parents who will pressurise and belittle their own kids the same way their parents treated them.
2024.05.15 17:06 NoJournalist5858 BNA7 Dumpster Fire
Hey guys I started at BNA7 sort center about a month ago. My first Amazon experience and all I can say is it is a dumpster fire! Managers are censoring the My voice app. There is not enough pallet jacks or scanners yet they think you easily have both. There is no management control in place, no one is being held accountable, people sit in the bathroom stalls all day on the clock and break room , they overwork people that doing their job, no one has a answer if you have a question. Training is deplorable. Most of the early people hired to this facility were thrown in the fire. HR is rarely there as well as safety. Managers are extremely unprofessional and unapproachable. The PAs are burnt and have no control. It is a complete mess. I understand it is a new sort center but this place is heading toward massive Shitshow or lawsuit if they donāt clean it up. A few weeks ago a employee broke their foot in a trailer on inbound. They were not trained and was thrown in the trailer without proper hands on training. I donāt how much longer this place is going to lastā¦.. sort center Mt Juliet TN( outside of Nashville) complete Shitshow!!!!!!!
submitted by NoJournalist5858 to AmazonFC [link] [comments]
2024.05.15 17:05 BuddyGuyJr American Boomers Abroad - Boomers in Paris
I'm sure most people have been told that "Europeans do not like Americans" or "Europeans are very rude, especially if you're American" - If you have heard these things, I'm pretty sure a Boomer was the one to tell you that.
Today's story takes place at a cafƩ in Paris, France. Pre-COVID - Happier times, maybe.
One night, my wife and I are sitting at a table on a cafe's patio, people watching, drinking Aperol Spritzes and waiting for our croque madam/monsieur.
At the table next to us, two boomer couples sit together. They're long time friends. The wives are extremely excited. It was their first full day in Paris - a trip they've been wanting to go on since they were teenagers. They rehashed their day - getting macarons at LadurƩe, walking the Seine, and spending the rest of the day at the Louvre.
The husbands are discussing the opposite. They are curmudgeons. The prices are too high at this cafƩ. "20 euros for a cheeseburger!" - They haven't realized that tax is included in all the prices, or that France's food isn't as industrialized as it is in the U.S. One husband pulls a small piece of paper from his wallet with the exchange rates printed on it. "Those cookie sandwiches were pricy too. Did we really need the fancy boxes?".
Thankfully, the women have learned how to tune out their husbands. But this becomes more difficult, for the wives and for the people sitting near them. The husbands are hungry. "The waiter isn't even paying attention to us", says one husband. The other husband raises his hand - "Scuzi. SCUZI!"
The wives stop their debate on which princess/actress from their childhood used LadurƩe boxes to store their jewelry. They both turn red, lower their heads, and clutch their Rick Steves guide books. One wife leans over to her husband and whispers "That's Italian. We are in France."
"It's all the same thing here." says the husband, as he waves the server over.
\**Side note. As a husband myself, it can be fun to playfully embarrass your wife. Every married women under 45 has been referred to as "MY WIFE" a la Borat.****
This is where it gets good. We all know, once it gets going, the Boomer can be an unstoppable force. Barreling forward, consuming everything in its path, leaving destruction in its wake, only stopping when it gets what it wants.
The Parisian Server on the other hand can be an unmovable object. If treated with respect, they will go out of their way to make sure you have a great experience. If slightly disrespected, well, good luck getting anything.
The server arrives to their table, with a sense of humor. "Si signore" he says.
The husband that waved him over orders for the table. "The ladies will have cheeseburgers and we will have the bacon cheeseburgers. With french fries."
"Okee dokee" says the server in an attempted American accent. He gathers their menus and walks away. "He didn't write anything down. I hope he doesn't screw it up." notes a husband.
The wives go back to excitedly conversing about their trip. One says, "I can't wait to see the Monets tomorrow!". "Ugh. Too blurry" her husband responds.
\**I now say "Too blurry" every time I see a Monet. My poor wife knew I am a forever child when she agreed to marry me****
A little time passes and the server arrives with their order. "OK. Cheeseburgers. Cheeseburgers with bacon. And, FRENCH fries. Or as we say in France, Frites" - One of the wives giggle, and the server leaves.
The couples inspect their meals, as is customary for the Boomer when they receive food. The server placed the bacon cheeseburgers in front of the women and the cheeseburgers in front of the men. Also, there is no ketchup.
"God Dammit. He got it wrong! GAR-SON!!!!" yells a husband. The server arrives, "Oui Monsieur?"
"WE ordered the bacon cheeseburgers. THEY got the cheeseburgers. And there's no ketchup!". "Ah. Oui." the server responds and he proceeds to switch the plates to the appropriate diner. "I go get ketchup" and walks away.
"I knew he was going to screw it up" a husband says. The other husband responds with "He didn't have to be so rude"
The server returns. Both hands full of ketchup packets. Places dozens of the single serving packets on their table. "VoilĆ ! Ketchup!"
Shocked, one husband asks "You don't have a bottle of ketchup?". "No" says the server. "Only ketchup for the children", and leaves.
My wife and I continued to order and drink cheap Aperol Spritzes. Enjoying the shameful show of grown adults opening and emptying numerous ketchup packets on to their food while complaining about anything they can think of.
The Boomers finish, pay, and depart. Leaving a five dollar bill on the table as tip.
The server comes to clean their table. Picks up the five dollar bill and places it on our table. "For good Americans"
submitted by BuddyGuyJr to BoomersBeingFools [link] [comments]
Today's story takes place at a cafƩ in Paris, France. Pre-COVID - Happier times, maybe.
One night, my wife and I are sitting at a table on a cafe's patio, people watching, drinking Aperol Spritzes and waiting for our croque madam/monsieur.
At the table next to us, two boomer couples sit together. They're long time friends. The wives are extremely excited. It was their first full day in Paris - a trip they've been wanting to go on since they were teenagers. They rehashed their day - getting macarons at LadurƩe, walking the Seine, and spending the rest of the day at the Louvre.
The husbands are discussing the opposite. They are curmudgeons. The prices are too high at this cafƩ. "20 euros for a cheeseburger!" - They haven't realized that tax is included in all the prices, or that France's food isn't as industrialized as it is in the U.S. One husband pulls a small piece of paper from his wallet with the exchange rates printed on it. "Those cookie sandwiches were pricy too. Did we really need the fancy boxes?".
Thankfully, the women have learned how to tune out their husbands. But this becomes more difficult, for the wives and for the people sitting near them. The husbands are hungry. "The waiter isn't even paying attention to us", says one husband. The other husband raises his hand - "Scuzi. SCUZI!"
The wives stop their debate on which princess/actress from their childhood used LadurƩe boxes to store their jewelry. They both turn red, lower their heads, and clutch their Rick Steves guide books. One wife leans over to her husband and whispers "That's Italian. We are in France."
"It's all the same thing here." says the husband, as he waves the server over.
\**Side note. As a husband myself, it can be fun to playfully embarrass your wife. Every married women under 45 has been referred to as "MY WIFE" a la Borat.****
This is where it gets good. We all know, once it gets going, the Boomer can be an unstoppable force. Barreling forward, consuming everything in its path, leaving destruction in its wake, only stopping when it gets what it wants.
The Parisian Server on the other hand can be an unmovable object. If treated with respect, they will go out of their way to make sure you have a great experience. If slightly disrespected, well, good luck getting anything.
The server arrives to their table, with a sense of humor. "Si signore" he says.
The husband that waved him over orders for the table. "The ladies will have cheeseburgers and we will have the bacon cheeseburgers. With french fries."
"Okee dokee" says the server in an attempted American accent. He gathers their menus and walks away. "He didn't write anything down. I hope he doesn't screw it up." notes a husband.
The wives go back to excitedly conversing about their trip. One says, "I can't wait to see the Monets tomorrow!". "Ugh. Too blurry" her husband responds.
\**I now say "Too blurry" every time I see a Monet. My poor wife knew I am a forever child when she agreed to marry me****
A little time passes and the server arrives with their order. "OK. Cheeseburgers. Cheeseburgers with bacon. And, FRENCH fries. Or as we say in France, Frites" - One of the wives giggle, and the server leaves.
The couples inspect their meals, as is customary for the Boomer when they receive food. The server placed the bacon cheeseburgers in front of the women and the cheeseburgers in front of the men. Also, there is no ketchup.
"God Dammit. He got it wrong! GAR-SON!!!!" yells a husband. The server arrives, "Oui Monsieur?"
"WE ordered the bacon cheeseburgers. THEY got the cheeseburgers. And there's no ketchup!". "Ah. Oui." the server responds and he proceeds to switch the plates to the appropriate diner. "I go get ketchup" and walks away.
"I knew he was going to screw it up" a husband says. The other husband responds with "He didn't have to be so rude"
The server returns. Both hands full of ketchup packets. Places dozens of the single serving packets on their table. "VoilĆ ! Ketchup!"
Shocked, one husband asks "You don't have a bottle of ketchup?". "No" says the server. "Only ketchup for the children", and leaves.
My wife and I continued to order and drink cheap Aperol Spritzes. Enjoying the shameful show of grown adults opening and emptying numerous ketchup packets on to their food while complaining about anything they can think of.
The Boomers finish, pay, and depart. Leaving a five dollar bill on the table as tip.
The server comes to clean their table. Picks up the five dollar bill and places it on our table. "For good Americans"
2024.05.15 17:03 ml5493 Can't keep doing this!
I have been in a trying situation for 3 years not going to be 4. I own a family practice clinic and am married to a die-hard Qanon cult member. The problem with these people is they sit around hyped up about the next big day. They are running on high catechloamines and adrenal hormones. They are in constant flight or fight mode. Then the event doesn't happen. Now, you have a man that still has these abnormals and is now impatient and short with family. It's like how you should not scare the game before you shoot it or it will affect the meat. Very bad for their health. He is worried about the water but not the drinking alcohol while taking Ivermectin from the COOP. I have tried all the things they recommend because we had our 40th anniversary in December. This Trump stuff is making me crazy. I am seriously thinking about leaving. I can legit file for abandonment and emotional abuse. He abandoned the business and taking care of the house and yard to do his research. Constant fighting about medicine. How we could cure people and don't. Mainly, how everyone could be cured if I recommended Ivermectin, bleach, Hydroxychloroquine etc. My clinic serves mostly Medicaid and Medicare so a lot of charity work. He keeps telling me about his humanitarian money he will get for his med beds. I don't know this person, now hates jews. Everything, is the opposite!
submitted by ml5493 to Qult_Headquarters [link] [comments]
2024.05.15 17:03 Ok-Love3874 5 minute interview. Red flag or straight to the point?
Hi, I recently had a job interview earlier this morning. This was for a dental assisting position. Keep in mind I'm an american born foreign trained dentist. The interviewer happened to be the owner of the office. The interview was at 9:00 AM and I left the interview at 9:05 AM. I was brought into the office by the insurance coordinator who then brought me into the doctors personal office, where he was sitting at his desk. He shook my hand and introduced himself and told me to have a seat. I hadn't even finished sitting down when he started bombarding me with questions. First thing he asked was tell me about yourself, he then proceeded to ask me if I have experience, if I'm a people person, if I can take constructive criticism and if I live close by. After I answered all of these questions, it was my turn to ask him some questions. I asked him about four questions, one of them being, "I saw you're from (insert country) because i read it on your website. After that, he told me he was going to put me on the list of candidates and give me a call back when they had made their decision. He told me they didn't know when the position would be filled but if I didn't hear back from them soon, I would have to call the office and get an update.
Do you think the interview went well or is it a red flag because if was way too quick? Also, do you think I made a mistake by telling him something i saw on his website and can come off as a bit stalker-ish? I feel like telling him something I read on his website means that I did my research on him and it shows interest.
I also feel like I answered the questions directly and concisely, I didn't stutter and had didn't delay my responses.
I'd appreciate your thoughts and any future tips you guys might have. Thanks <3
submitted by Ok-Love3874 to askadentist [link] [comments]
Do you think the interview went well or is it a red flag because if was way too quick? Also, do you think I made a mistake by telling him something i saw on his website and can come off as a bit stalker-ish? I feel like telling him something I read on his website means that I did my research on him and it shows interest.
I also feel like I answered the questions directly and concisely, I didn't stutter and had didn't delay my responses.
I'd appreciate your thoughts and any future tips you guys might have. Thanks <3
2024.05.15 17:02 suicidalpeonies AITA for wanting to kick my friend out of our house over pumpkin seeds?
Honorable Judge Charlotte, please hand down your judgement. Buckle up because itās a lil long!
So I (24f) bought a house with my fiancƩe (also 24f) just a few months ago. The biggest reason I love the house is its front garden, which is full of my all time favorite flowers, and it was so breathtaking in the summer photos that I was determined to have it.
We moved in with a few friends, B (24f), Alice (26f), and C (21m), because we had the room for them and wanted them to have a lease-less place to live until they find their own places, whenever that would be.
(Payment context: Alice, B, and C pay us to essentially rent their bedrooms, paying only $400 a month while my fiancƩe and i each pay about $1200 in bills. They did not sign any lease or rent agreement. No one besides my fiancƩe and I are on the title of the house, and just the two of us made the down payment. Everyone could move out tomorrow and my fiancƩe and I would be fine.)
We had all lived with each other in the past, and had great communication and became very close friends. Like, make dinner together, watch shows together, smoke and talk for hours every other night kind of close friends.
For context, Alice has 2 pets, with specific diets and meal times. Other people in the house also have pets, but itās unimportant to this. We have a group chat for stuff related to our house or pets (having people over, working late so someone needs to feed their pet, etc) that we were really good at using to update each other and send pet pics.
But not long after we moved into the house, Alice started dating someone new, who weāll call Gf. Alice starts spending every day with Gf, not responding to messages from me or other roommates when we ask whether her pets have been fed, and bringing Gf over all the time to hang out, but just the two of them.
All the time she spent with us went away, which was shocking, considering several of us are in relationships, but can still find time for friends. I wouldnāt have had a problem with this, if I didnāt also notice her pets getting sick more frequently, behaving abnormally, and acting yknow, abandoned.
I tried texting her about it, because i had no clue when Iād see her next. She responded defensively when I brought up her caring for her pets, and not want to discuss it further, but the behavior never changed.
Because of this, me and the others picked up the slack to take care of her pets, but itās so exhausting because it is obvious that the pets still just really miss her. It basically feels like she moved out, but uses our house as a pit stop.
She doesnāt buy food or communal supplies like toilet paper, but will randomly come home a few times a week, shower, eat someone elseās food, and either go to pick up Gf or to hang out at Gfās place. We will only know thatās sheās stopped by recently by seeing her clothes thrown around the dining room, extra clutter of her mail and purses in the living room, and extra dishes in the sink, never the dishwasher right fucking next to it.
My fiancee, B, and C brought up their frustrations to me about this, but I brushed them off, saying itās fine and weāre all learning how to be adults in our weird setup. I wanted to give her grace. But the thing that made me freak out happened today.
I enter the living room to see Alice with one of our mutual friends. I say hi and walk past, and Alice continues talking to the friend. She starts telling them about the pumpkins she planted in the front garden.
I kinda freeze when she says it. The front garden is full of gorgeous perennials, regrowing each year, meticulously planted by the previous owners (who were extremely gracious to us during the purchase process- we respect them a lot) and she Planted. Pumpkins?
Literally the biggest fucking things you can grow, that sprouts from long, creeping vines that can choke out other plants? Pumpkins. Without telling me or my fiancƩe.
I turn back and reenter the conversation, and ask her where she planted them, smiling for an honest answer. She says she scattered them across the garden, and labeled none of them. I say ok, and leave them to their talk. I draft a text to my fiancee about the situation, but decide that maybe itās not that big a deal.
Later Iām in the same living room catching up with an old friend who was in town, talking about the house and garden as it was their first visit, and Alice walks past the window weāre sitting by, with a potted tree. My friend quietly asks me what the fuck sheās doing with a tree, when a huge reason why we moved here was the landscaping already being sufficient.
I didnāt even know what to say, I just started to cry. The combo of her planting the pumpkin seeds without even Mentioning it to any of us, ESPECIALLY my fiancĆ©e and I, and bringing a tree to plant in OUR YARD just felt so disrespectful when she canāt even come home to take care of her pets.
I altered and sent the drafted text to my fiancĆ©e to get her opinion on it. I also told B and C about it after my friend left, and theyāre on my side, but they think this will be fixed with just āa talk.ā
My fiancĆ©e is also on my side, but is beyond furious and wants to just kick her out. So I lay in bed crying, feeling like Iāve been deeply wronged over unsent text messages and unasked for pumpkin seeds, like a dumbass.
Iām scared that the pumpkin vines will choke out the beautiful garden the previous owners worked so hard on, and that i adore so much. Honestly, I am equally, if not more scared that I am soon going to watch her pets die of a broken heart.
Everything feels like the wrong choice and Iām so overwhelmed. Am I the asshole for wanting to kick my friend out of my house over pumpkin seeds?
TL;DR: A roommate started neglecting their pets, then planted pumpkins in a flower bed without asking (Fiancee & I own the house).
submitted by suicidalpeonies to CharlotteDobreYouTube [link] [comments]
So I (24f) bought a house with my fiancƩe (also 24f) just a few months ago. The biggest reason I love the house is its front garden, which is full of my all time favorite flowers, and it was so breathtaking in the summer photos that I was determined to have it.
We moved in with a few friends, B (24f), Alice (26f), and C (21m), because we had the room for them and wanted them to have a lease-less place to live until they find their own places, whenever that would be.
(Payment context: Alice, B, and C pay us to essentially rent their bedrooms, paying only $400 a month while my fiancƩe and i each pay about $1200 in bills. They did not sign any lease or rent agreement. No one besides my fiancƩe and I are on the title of the house, and just the two of us made the down payment. Everyone could move out tomorrow and my fiancƩe and I would be fine.)
We had all lived with each other in the past, and had great communication and became very close friends. Like, make dinner together, watch shows together, smoke and talk for hours every other night kind of close friends.
For context, Alice has 2 pets, with specific diets and meal times. Other people in the house also have pets, but itās unimportant to this. We have a group chat for stuff related to our house or pets (having people over, working late so someone needs to feed their pet, etc) that we were really good at using to update each other and send pet pics.
But not long after we moved into the house, Alice started dating someone new, who weāll call Gf. Alice starts spending every day with Gf, not responding to messages from me or other roommates when we ask whether her pets have been fed, and bringing Gf over all the time to hang out, but just the two of them.
All the time she spent with us went away, which was shocking, considering several of us are in relationships, but can still find time for friends. I wouldnāt have had a problem with this, if I didnāt also notice her pets getting sick more frequently, behaving abnormally, and acting yknow, abandoned.
I tried texting her about it, because i had no clue when Iād see her next. She responded defensively when I brought up her caring for her pets, and not want to discuss it further, but the behavior never changed.
Because of this, me and the others picked up the slack to take care of her pets, but itās so exhausting because it is obvious that the pets still just really miss her. It basically feels like she moved out, but uses our house as a pit stop.
She doesnāt buy food or communal supplies like toilet paper, but will randomly come home a few times a week, shower, eat someone elseās food, and either go to pick up Gf or to hang out at Gfās place. We will only know thatās sheās stopped by recently by seeing her clothes thrown around the dining room, extra clutter of her mail and purses in the living room, and extra dishes in the sink, never the dishwasher right fucking next to it.
My fiancee, B, and C brought up their frustrations to me about this, but I brushed them off, saying itās fine and weāre all learning how to be adults in our weird setup. I wanted to give her grace. But the thing that made me freak out happened today.
I enter the living room to see Alice with one of our mutual friends. I say hi and walk past, and Alice continues talking to the friend. She starts telling them about the pumpkins she planted in the front garden.
I kinda freeze when she says it. The front garden is full of gorgeous perennials, regrowing each year, meticulously planted by the previous owners (who were extremely gracious to us during the purchase process- we respect them a lot) and she Planted. Pumpkins?
Literally the biggest fucking things you can grow, that sprouts from long, creeping vines that can choke out other plants? Pumpkins. Without telling me or my fiancƩe.
I turn back and reenter the conversation, and ask her where she planted them, smiling for an honest answer. She says she scattered them across the garden, and labeled none of them. I say ok, and leave them to their talk. I draft a text to my fiancee about the situation, but decide that maybe itās not that big a deal.
Later Iām in the same living room catching up with an old friend who was in town, talking about the house and garden as it was their first visit, and Alice walks past the window weāre sitting by, with a potted tree. My friend quietly asks me what the fuck sheās doing with a tree, when a huge reason why we moved here was the landscaping already being sufficient.
I didnāt even know what to say, I just started to cry. The combo of her planting the pumpkin seeds without even Mentioning it to any of us, ESPECIALLY my fiancĆ©e and I, and bringing a tree to plant in OUR YARD just felt so disrespectful when she canāt even come home to take care of her pets.
I altered and sent the drafted text to my fiancĆ©e to get her opinion on it. I also told B and C about it after my friend left, and theyāre on my side, but they think this will be fixed with just āa talk.ā
My fiancĆ©e is also on my side, but is beyond furious and wants to just kick her out. So I lay in bed crying, feeling like Iāve been deeply wronged over unsent text messages and unasked for pumpkin seeds, like a dumbass.
Iām scared that the pumpkin vines will choke out the beautiful garden the previous owners worked so hard on, and that i adore so much. Honestly, I am equally, if not more scared that I am soon going to watch her pets die of a broken heart.
Everything feels like the wrong choice and Iām so overwhelmed. Am I the asshole for wanting to kick my friend out of my house over pumpkin seeds?
TL;DR: A roommate started neglecting their pets, then planted pumpkins in a flower bed without asking (Fiancee & I own the house).
2024.05.15 17:02 plinkert Quality of life while waiting for my first consultation visit
Iām always in some amount of pain with this fistula. I sit on a heating pad to drain the pus when the abscess gets hard and painful. I take ibuprofen. I was prescribed a topical cream that does nothing. I was on antibiotics for a week too. Some days the pain is excruciating, others itās tolerable but distracting. My consultation is in June. I have to do two Fleet enemas the morning of my consultation and Iāve never done one before, so Iām a little anxious about it.
It starts to get to you after awhile, always being in pain. It affects your attitude and your self esteem, especially when you canāt just tell someone what the problem is because youāre embarrassed to admit to having an anal abscess and fistula. Itās gross and thereās no delicate way to explain to someone at work that you have to sit for a bit (on the heating pad) because āyour butt hurtsā. The night sweats leave you exhausted because you woke up drenched and sticky, but thereās no time to take a shower before work. You look haggard and pale. You have to wear a pad or gauze in your pants (like a diaper) because of the drainage so you hate walking around. You canāt take an LOA from work because those are unpaid. Youāre exhausted from waking up sweating or struggling to sleep because of random stabbing pain. Youāre becoming more and more depressed, emotionally volatile because of it all. You donāt even want to eat because food means digestion, digestion means going to the bathroom, and going to the bathroom can hurt so so bad.
Iāve been dealing with this for years due to being misdiagnosed over and over until my current GP saw it. Of course, it wasnāt an extra hole until recently. It was just agony and blood, like I was sitting on a knife, for a long time. It would come and go, always hurting but not always agonizing. I dreaded long car rides. I had to tell people I preferred to stand when I actually really needed to sit. That was before I knew what it was, so I thought standing was the best thing I could do. Now I just need to sit on a heating pad, but I work a job where I am often needed to walk around a huge warehouse. I can feel the abscess rubbing when it flares up during those times. I have to pause and take a breath. I usually tell people I have a bruised tailbone from a fall to explain why I am sitting on a heating pad and walk funny.
I was almost late for work today because of the bathroom. Blood and pus. Pain. I donāt know what else can be done for me until the consultation and Iām not sure how to broach the subject with my GP when I have an appointment coming up. It feels so far away.
As painful as large hard stools are, I prefer them to the soft mushy ones. The soft ones seem to make it worse. Itās almost like the soft ones push into whatever channel is open down there and fester. So the hard ones may make me bleed but Iām less likely to have an abscess grow from them. I donāt even know what I can eat. Diarrhea makes it so much worse, like the diarrhea is getting into the channel. And while it can be mostly pus, with some blood, sometimes itās just this clear viscous liquid.
Iām not a religious person but I admit to praying for this to be fixed soon. I am so depressed. So tired. This pain may be mild at points but itās all day every day.
Did anyone else suffer a lot and then feel way better after it was treated?
submitted by plinkert to AnalFistula [link] [comments]
It starts to get to you after awhile, always being in pain. It affects your attitude and your self esteem, especially when you canāt just tell someone what the problem is because youāre embarrassed to admit to having an anal abscess and fistula. Itās gross and thereās no delicate way to explain to someone at work that you have to sit for a bit (on the heating pad) because āyour butt hurtsā. The night sweats leave you exhausted because you woke up drenched and sticky, but thereās no time to take a shower before work. You look haggard and pale. You have to wear a pad or gauze in your pants (like a diaper) because of the drainage so you hate walking around. You canāt take an LOA from work because those are unpaid. Youāre exhausted from waking up sweating or struggling to sleep because of random stabbing pain. Youāre becoming more and more depressed, emotionally volatile because of it all. You donāt even want to eat because food means digestion, digestion means going to the bathroom, and going to the bathroom can hurt so so bad.
Iāve been dealing with this for years due to being misdiagnosed over and over until my current GP saw it. Of course, it wasnāt an extra hole until recently. It was just agony and blood, like I was sitting on a knife, for a long time. It would come and go, always hurting but not always agonizing. I dreaded long car rides. I had to tell people I preferred to stand when I actually really needed to sit. That was before I knew what it was, so I thought standing was the best thing I could do. Now I just need to sit on a heating pad, but I work a job where I am often needed to walk around a huge warehouse. I can feel the abscess rubbing when it flares up during those times. I have to pause and take a breath. I usually tell people I have a bruised tailbone from a fall to explain why I am sitting on a heating pad and walk funny.
I was almost late for work today because of the bathroom. Blood and pus. Pain. I donāt know what else can be done for me until the consultation and Iām not sure how to broach the subject with my GP when I have an appointment coming up. It feels so far away.
As painful as large hard stools are, I prefer them to the soft mushy ones. The soft ones seem to make it worse. Itās almost like the soft ones push into whatever channel is open down there and fester. So the hard ones may make me bleed but Iām less likely to have an abscess grow from them. I donāt even know what I can eat. Diarrhea makes it so much worse, like the diarrhea is getting into the channel. And while it can be mostly pus, with some blood, sometimes itās just this clear viscous liquid.
Iām not a religious person but I admit to praying for this to be fixed soon. I am so depressed. So tired. This pain may be mild at points but itās all day every day.
Did anyone else suffer a lot and then feel way better after it was treated?
2024.05.15 17:01 No-Judge7886 40 years of a Hateful MILāļø
Just need to vent! I have put up with my mother-in-lawās manipulations for the past 40 years because I love my husband but man is it getting tiresome. She has always been manipulative towards him even though she was a abusive mother absolutely horrible mother actually. She never has anything nice to say about anyone, when I first was with my husband, I tried to be friends with her. What a mistake! And now that sheās turned 89 she feels she has a right to say anything to anyone even if itās hurtful. She came home from Florida and told me her fat neighbor had clothes so she bought them for me, lol, so I went and tried them on and said thank God for fat neighbors , she has some nice clothes. Meanwhile, my husband just sits there and says nothing to her. Anything she says is OK thatās what really gets me. Iām sick of arguing with him about her because I just canāt win so I guess my next plan of action is gonna be just avoid her as much as I can Because I canāt be around my husband when heās around her they make me sickāļø my daughter refuses to be around her. I donāt wanna take my grandchildren around her because sheās also prejudiced and my grandchildren are Cuban. I just am at the end of my rope with her, I canāt understand why people are like that I wasnāt raised that way. I always treat others as I want to be treated so maybe Iāll start treating her the way she treats me lol that could be very interesting thanks for reading my rant, cheers to things getting better, lolā¤ļø
submitted by No-Judge7886 to motherinlawsfromhell [link] [comments]
2024.05.15 16:58 Crepuscular_otter I donāt see how I can keep going
Itās been four and a half months (136 days) since my husband got sick with the flu and ended up dying in front of me after ten days of hell trapped at home with our young child.
On Motherās Day a couple days ago, his dog mauled a neighborās pet cat to death in front of my son. Fortunately they were incredibly gracious about it, but it still makes me sick. I canāt shake the feeling that whenever things get bad and it actually matters, I am powerless. I couldnāt stop this cat being killed, I couldnāt stop my husband dying from the flu.
This morning I inquire about my husbandās truck thatās been sitting in my driveway since his death. I realized then it was in his motherās name. She said her son, my husbandās brother would help me get it fixed up and sell it, and I could keep the money, and he would do so for the boat in my driveway as well, which was in her husbandās, my dead father in lawās, name. My husband left me with nothing but debts-zero in his bank accounts and pockets, no insurance, secretly months behind on the household bills he was responsible for.
This brother, the one who said he was coming the night my husband died and never did, the one who didnāt meet our child until it accidentally happened this last thanksgiving, the one who didnāt even send a card let alone come when we got married, finally came two weekends ago, which I was surprised but hopeful about. I had a prior engagement for my son, so had to leave for an hour. When I came back home, he had left with the boat and told my mom he was coming back in two weeks to get the truck running.
I text him this morning to inquire about when heāll be here this weekend. He informs me that he has to work and will come āat some point.ā I ask about the money for the boat and he says he has given it to his mom, who hasnāt said a word about it to me though weāve texted multiple times.
I donāt know what Iām doing writing this all out. I just feel so shit on. Iāve had to deal with so damn much to try and get through these last months. It has taken everything I have. My husband made it almost as hard as possible for me to deal with his death. He just didnāt care much about the future, his or anyone elseās. But Iāve fucking done it. And now this, his dog and his family, who should be supportive, just fucking me in the only way they can. And thereās nothing I can do about it. Heās a good Christian though, of course. God will protect him from anything negative impacting him through this. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe these hypocritical, shallow in-name-only, on-Facebook-only Christians are right; I should get into performative Christianity and only care about myself? I donāt think I could be so selfish though.
I guess I just needed to shout out into this network of people thrown into this jarring, disjointed alternate reality, navigating these lonely and terrifying waters, people that understand, to get a little bit of commiseration that could be a life jacket for a minute.
submitted by Crepuscular_otter to widowers [link] [comments]
On Motherās Day a couple days ago, his dog mauled a neighborās pet cat to death in front of my son. Fortunately they were incredibly gracious about it, but it still makes me sick. I canāt shake the feeling that whenever things get bad and it actually matters, I am powerless. I couldnāt stop this cat being killed, I couldnāt stop my husband dying from the flu.
This morning I inquire about my husbandās truck thatās been sitting in my driveway since his death. I realized then it was in his motherās name. She said her son, my husbandās brother would help me get it fixed up and sell it, and I could keep the money, and he would do so for the boat in my driveway as well, which was in her husbandās, my dead father in lawās, name. My husband left me with nothing but debts-zero in his bank accounts and pockets, no insurance, secretly months behind on the household bills he was responsible for.
This brother, the one who said he was coming the night my husband died and never did, the one who didnāt meet our child until it accidentally happened this last thanksgiving, the one who didnāt even send a card let alone come when we got married, finally came two weekends ago, which I was surprised but hopeful about. I had a prior engagement for my son, so had to leave for an hour. When I came back home, he had left with the boat and told my mom he was coming back in two weeks to get the truck running.
I text him this morning to inquire about when heāll be here this weekend. He informs me that he has to work and will come āat some point.ā I ask about the money for the boat and he says he has given it to his mom, who hasnāt said a word about it to me though weāve texted multiple times.
I donāt know what Iām doing writing this all out. I just feel so shit on. Iāve had to deal with so damn much to try and get through these last months. It has taken everything I have. My husband made it almost as hard as possible for me to deal with his death. He just didnāt care much about the future, his or anyone elseās. But Iāve fucking done it. And now this, his dog and his family, who should be supportive, just fucking me in the only way they can. And thereās nothing I can do about it. Heās a good Christian though, of course. God will protect him from anything negative impacting him through this. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe these hypocritical, shallow in-name-only, on-Facebook-only Christians are right; I should get into performative Christianity and only care about myself? I donāt think I could be so selfish though.
I guess I just needed to shout out into this network of people thrown into this jarring, disjointed alternate reality, navigating these lonely and terrifying waters, people that understand, to get a little bit of commiseration that could be a life jacket for a minute.
2024.05.15 16:58 Interesting-Mood-188 why you do this to me ah
to: ah
do you think that was the best way to end us? you said all of those wonderful sweet things to me before you cut our contact. you said i was your person and your soulmate and that you will come back to me when itās the time. i was sad and emotional that you wanted to go. youāre angry, you are selfish, you are harmful, you are toxic. but i loved you so much i put it to the side. you led me on but made it seem like i was the wrong one kept apologizing. you said you werenāt going to hurt me.
you always wanted me to make sure that if you gave up to fight for our love. i did that and you nearly killed me with your harsh words days later instead. you were regretful and you wanted to find a reason to hate me because i was too nice. you i didnāt do anything wrong and we needed to be mature to be able to try it again. but you chose a life of self destruction of substance abuse to cope with the break up. you told me more hurtful things and that you found better but it was only a week. you said you love me and that i deserve better. i kept being kind and you hated it.
more and more days go by and you hated me and wanted nothing to do with me but why? you made up lies and told people that im the worst person. but i kept defending you even when you bullied, harassed and made me feel jealous on social media. it was a game for you that you loved seeing me upset. i would be silenced for trying to get clarity on to why you choose to do this to me. i would beg for him to stop making posts you said no. then you officially lost your mind lying about me and now you have me angry. while you could lie iāll always tell the truth. i posted your lies and you kept lying even more and saying anything you possibly can but i kept proving you wrong. i know you like playing the petty game and ill make sure i play it back even harder. now, you were silenced and you were hurt about it. itās not so nice is it? you take down your posts and i do mine. but you called your family into the mix iāve gotten threats, harassed and hated on. you kept lying to them making yourself feel better. but the truth is, you know you hurt me first.
now i sit here getting congratulated by my family for sticking up for the bullyā¦when i still love the bully. i would still go back and run to you. if you flew in showed up to my house i wouldnāt say anything but just to hug you tight. i wanted to have an honest and open conversation and good closure of what our future has to come. because i know the situation is messy. but id rather save up money and run away with you anywhere. even if you didnāt fly to me, id want you to tell me how much i mean to me and apologize for you causing me so much pain. thatās all youāll ever have to do and weāll work on us.
you know where to reach me bub, letās fix this without being harmful. maybe we will never be together again and thatās fine. but i wanted to be the nice ex but your ego is huge and you lie. my number is going to be changed today or tomorrow. iāll always want to be your girlfriend again.
stop torturing yourself to feel things that donāt exist and telling a lie to start to believe it. your reposts are mostly hateful towards me. but i see the ones that you direct at me that were positive. but you refuse to let me talk and rather have hatred when i have all the love to give. iāll always love, support and miss you bubbles. youāll always be my boy ā”
from, ap š©µ
submitted by Interesting-Mood-188 to UnsentLetters [link] [comments]
do you think that was the best way to end us? you said all of those wonderful sweet things to me before you cut our contact. you said i was your person and your soulmate and that you will come back to me when itās the time. i was sad and emotional that you wanted to go. youāre angry, you are selfish, you are harmful, you are toxic. but i loved you so much i put it to the side. you led me on but made it seem like i was the wrong one kept apologizing. you said you werenāt going to hurt me.
you always wanted me to make sure that if you gave up to fight for our love. i did that and you nearly killed me with your harsh words days later instead. you were regretful and you wanted to find a reason to hate me because i was too nice. you i didnāt do anything wrong and we needed to be mature to be able to try it again. but you chose a life of self destruction of substance abuse to cope with the break up. you told me more hurtful things and that you found better but it was only a week. you said you love me and that i deserve better. i kept being kind and you hated it.
more and more days go by and you hated me and wanted nothing to do with me but why? you made up lies and told people that im the worst person. but i kept defending you even when you bullied, harassed and made me feel jealous on social media. it was a game for you that you loved seeing me upset. i would be silenced for trying to get clarity on to why you choose to do this to me. i would beg for him to stop making posts you said no. then you officially lost your mind lying about me and now you have me angry. while you could lie iāll always tell the truth. i posted your lies and you kept lying even more and saying anything you possibly can but i kept proving you wrong. i know you like playing the petty game and ill make sure i play it back even harder. now, you were silenced and you were hurt about it. itās not so nice is it? you take down your posts and i do mine. but you called your family into the mix iāve gotten threats, harassed and hated on. you kept lying to them making yourself feel better. but the truth is, you know you hurt me first.
now i sit here getting congratulated by my family for sticking up for the bullyā¦when i still love the bully. i would still go back and run to you. if you flew in showed up to my house i wouldnāt say anything but just to hug you tight. i wanted to have an honest and open conversation and good closure of what our future has to come. because i know the situation is messy. but id rather save up money and run away with you anywhere. even if you didnāt fly to me, id want you to tell me how much i mean to me and apologize for you causing me so much pain. thatās all youāll ever have to do and weāll work on us.
you know where to reach me bub, letās fix this without being harmful. maybe we will never be together again and thatās fine. but i wanted to be the nice ex but your ego is huge and you lie. my number is going to be changed today or tomorrow. iāll always want to be your girlfriend again.
stop torturing yourself to feel things that donāt exist and telling a lie to start to believe it. your reposts are mostly hateful towards me. but i see the ones that you direct at me that were positive. but you refuse to let me talk and rather have hatred when i have all the love to give. iāll always love, support and miss you bubbles. youāll always be my boy ā”
from, ap š©µ
2024.05.15 16:57 Dragosbeat Looking for a song about proving your wortg to the people you care about the most
So like I'm writing a short story and i like to assign my characters a song and for this one i'm looking for a song about proving your worth to people like a hyperactive nephew who wants to sit at the big boys table, a troublemaker with good intentions. Think something like scrappy doo
submitted by Dragosbeat to musicsuggestions [link] [comments]
2024.05.15 16:56 FreshmenMan What is going on with Coppola's Megalopolis?
Question: What is going on with Megalopolis?
Megalopolis is just days away from being shown in Cannes and some people hope it will succeed and some people hope it will be terrible. I saw the teaser that was released Yesterday, and I must say, it really does look interesting and has gotten me intrigued with the project.
However, also yesterday The Guardian release an article titled, āHas this guy ever made a movie before?ā Francis Ford Coppolaās 40-year battle to film Megalopolisā. It details how long Coppola tired to get Megalopolis, but it also had many accusations from many sources that are anonymous. They didn't like Coppola old school approach to filmmaking and how they will wait on end for Coppola to decide something to shoot and apparently Coppola did some In-Camera Effect that took a while to shoot that could of as they say, āCould of took 10 Minutes to shootā. Coppola also smoked Pot.
Another thing that was alleged, and got the internet turning was the fact that apparently, according to sources, that he pulled women to sit on his lap and tried to kiss female extras to "get them in the mood".
Now on this Article, I don't how truthful it is. In my opinion, these sources could be disgruntled employees who probably got fired or they think they know better and heard it from someone who they heard it someone else. I am not saying It can be true, but I find it convenient that The Guardian would publish this article when the teaser was released and the film is reaching cannes.
And yes I know about his connection and Victor Salva, and yes, what Coppola did was shady and he did help Salva out with Jeepers Creepers. It just proves that Coppola is probably a dick producer.
So, What do you think is going on with Megalopolis?
Also, here is the article, āHas this guy ever made a movie before?ā Francis Ford Coppolaās 40-year battle to film Megalopolis Megalopolis The Guardian
submitted by FreshmenMan to flicks [link] [comments]
Megalopolis is just days away from being shown in Cannes and some people hope it will succeed and some people hope it will be terrible. I saw the teaser that was released Yesterday, and I must say, it really does look interesting and has gotten me intrigued with the project.
However, also yesterday The Guardian release an article titled, āHas this guy ever made a movie before?ā Francis Ford Coppolaās 40-year battle to film Megalopolisā. It details how long Coppola tired to get Megalopolis, but it also had many accusations from many sources that are anonymous. They didn't like Coppola old school approach to filmmaking and how they will wait on end for Coppola to decide something to shoot and apparently Coppola did some In-Camera Effect that took a while to shoot that could of as they say, āCould of took 10 Minutes to shootā. Coppola also smoked Pot.
Another thing that was alleged, and got the internet turning was the fact that apparently, according to sources, that he pulled women to sit on his lap and tried to kiss female extras to "get them in the mood".
Now on this Article, I don't how truthful it is. In my opinion, these sources could be disgruntled employees who probably got fired or they think they know better and heard it from someone who they heard it someone else. I am not saying It can be true, but I find it convenient that The Guardian would publish this article when the teaser was released and the film is reaching cannes.
And yes I know about his connection and Victor Salva, and yes, what Coppola did was shady and he did help Salva out with Jeepers Creepers. It just proves that Coppola is probably a dick producer.
So, What do you think is going on with Megalopolis?
Also, here is the article, āHas this guy ever made a movie before?ā Francis Ford Coppolaās 40-year battle to film Megalopolis Megalopolis The Guardian
2024.05.15 16:55 i-want-2-kms The gay "friend" story. A cautionary tale.
It has been more than a year since this happened. This maybe a long post but it is quite personal, so please read the entire thing before jumping to conclusions.
I am a college student. About a year ago I was forced to leave the hostel of the campus due to some stuff, so I moved into a PG. I did not have any friends there. I used to study all day and spend my time alone there. I was working hard, but due to the lack of friends I was quite lonely.
One day I was sitting on the terrace and singing and this guy approached me saying he liked my singing. He talked to me for a while. I assumed he is straight so I talked to him normally, bro to bro. Eventually we delved into other topics and I told him about my depression. He told me about his depression. We related quite a bit. He used to brag about the girls he has been with etc.
He became friends with me and started inviting me to walk with him every night. He's a cool guy so I went with him. We talked about all sorts of things. And it was helpful for my loneliness as well. Good times.
Now one random day, we were walking in the evening and he said "I need to tell you something important", I was like sure go ahead. He said "I am bisexual". I was like oh cool. He said "I thought you won't accept me", I was like "Pagal hai kya bhai tu dost hai mera". I was actually quite happy he trusted me with his secret. And I was happy for him as well.
This is where things started to change.
After he told me he was "bisexual" (he is straight up gay, bisexual probably softens the blow lol), he started to bring it up more often in conversations. He would point at some guy and say "He's really hot", and I didn't mind. I'd even tease him and shit.
But then it started happening a lot more. I do not know if this is internalized homophobia or whatever they call it, I simply CANNOT hear in graphic detail about gay sex. I do not like to see photos of gay men kissing and having sex. I am repulsed by it. I do not have a problem with people who are gay, but I can't be expected to sit and watch gay porn with him.
This guy started to bring up all of his exes, started showing me photos of him with other dudes in bed. Started telling me in graphic fooking detail about his nightly encounters. I did not want to know what he is doing with another man. Maybe he was compensating in some way, or seeing how I react. I already told him multiple times I do not have problems with him being gay.
We were still doing those night walks and right after he told me he was gay, it was still the same. He was still my friend, I still enjoyed his company. But something became weird from his side. He would ask me to go to really dark places. I remember once he was standing and making eye contact with me as if he wanted to kiss me. I felt so creeped out.
I started suspecting that he has a crush on me or something. But I gave him the benefit of doubt, thinking it was probably some homophobia in some corner of my heart. I was assuming a gay man is in love with me because he is gay. Which is not fair.
After a few days we were talking about something and he asked me "are you straight?" I said yes 100%. Then he started saying that nobody is ever truly straight. That all people are gay in some way. That sounded really wrong to me, like he was trying to say I think you are gay.
When we came back from walking that day, he playfully punched me. I punched him back. Then after a little back and forth, out of literally nowhere, he grabbed my ass.
This was the breaking point. I did not shout at him, I was super pissed. All I said was "That wasn't cool bro" and he just smirked at me, like he had some sort of victory.
I stopped talking to him after that.
submitted by i-want-2-kms to onexindia [link] [comments]
I am a college student. About a year ago I was forced to leave the hostel of the campus due to some stuff, so I moved into a PG. I did not have any friends there. I used to study all day and spend my time alone there. I was working hard, but due to the lack of friends I was quite lonely.
One day I was sitting on the terrace and singing and this guy approached me saying he liked my singing. He talked to me for a while. I assumed he is straight so I talked to him normally, bro to bro. Eventually we delved into other topics and I told him about my depression. He told me about his depression. We related quite a bit. He used to brag about the girls he has been with etc.
He became friends with me and started inviting me to walk with him every night. He's a cool guy so I went with him. We talked about all sorts of things. And it was helpful for my loneliness as well. Good times.
Now one random day, we were walking in the evening and he said "I need to tell you something important", I was like sure go ahead. He said "I am bisexual". I was like oh cool. He said "I thought you won't accept me", I was like "Pagal hai kya bhai tu dost hai mera". I was actually quite happy he trusted me with his secret. And I was happy for him as well.
This is where things started to change.
After he told me he was "bisexual" (he is straight up gay, bisexual probably softens the blow lol), he started to bring it up more often in conversations. He would point at some guy and say "He's really hot", and I didn't mind. I'd even tease him and shit.
But then it started happening a lot more. I do not know if this is internalized homophobia or whatever they call it, I simply CANNOT hear in graphic detail about gay sex. I do not like to see photos of gay men kissing and having sex. I am repulsed by it. I do not have a problem with people who are gay, but I can't be expected to sit and watch gay porn with him.
This guy started to bring up all of his exes, started showing me photos of him with other dudes in bed. Started telling me in graphic fooking detail about his nightly encounters. I did not want to know what he is doing with another man. Maybe he was compensating in some way, or seeing how I react. I already told him multiple times I do not have problems with him being gay.
We were still doing those night walks and right after he told me he was gay, it was still the same. He was still my friend, I still enjoyed his company. But something became weird from his side. He would ask me to go to really dark places. I remember once he was standing and making eye contact with me as if he wanted to kiss me. I felt so creeped out.
I started suspecting that he has a crush on me or something. But I gave him the benefit of doubt, thinking it was probably some homophobia in some corner of my heart. I was assuming a gay man is in love with me because he is gay. Which is not fair.
After a few days we were talking about something and he asked me "are you straight?" I said yes 100%. Then he started saying that nobody is ever truly straight. That all people are gay in some way. That sounded really wrong to me, like he was trying to say I think you are gay.
When we came back from walking that day, he playfully punched me. I punched him back. Then after a little back and forth, out of literally nowhere, he grabbed my ass.
This was the breaking point. I did not shout at him, I was super pissed. All I said was "That wasn't cool bro" and he just smirked at me, like he had some sort of victory.
I stopped talking to him after that.
2024.05.15 16:54 EroticStudios [hiring] HIRING a team of VAās for OF
Iām looking for a group of VAās to grow my clients OnlyFans account. She currently sits at zero, but the opportunity for growth is huge.
Iām looking for a team of motivated, experienced and professional VAās. The platforms I need them for Instagram, Twitter, and Reddit.
Iām looking for people who have proof of work, and English skills are required too.
There will be a weekly check in to see how things are going.
Earnings will be 5% of total profits (with bonuses). If you are able to be a VA for 2 accounts, you will make 10% (plus bonus).
DM me!
submitted by EroticStudios to hiring [link] [comments]
Iām looking for a team of motivated, experienced and professional VAās. The platforms I need them for Instagram, Twitter, and Reddit.
Iām looking for people who have proof of work, and English skills are required too.
There will be a weekly check in to see how things are going.
Earnings will be 5% of total profits (with bonuses). If you are able to be a VA for 2 accounts, you will make 10% (plus bonus).
DM me!
2024.05.15 16:54 TampaBayTimes Tampa restaurant garnished plates with foxtail ferns from outside. Is that OK?
In January, the Times received a tip that Ko, a Tampa Heights spot, was taking the ferns from a plot of land behind the building and using them to garnish plates. The restaurant is owned by the management group that operates Kosen, a tasting menu restaurant in the same building that recently snagged a Michelin star.
Video showed an employee snipping plants from the courtyard of the neighboring Pearl Apartments ā an area where dogs frequently go to the bathroom and where runoff water from the buildingās garage can seep into the soil.
Our food critic ate at Ko two months ago and saw the ferns for herself. The bright green plants were draped across an elaborate spread of tiny bites as part of the kaiseki restaurantās āhassunā course, a 10-item tasting that evening.
Save for a lone sprig here and there, the plants were mostly not touching the food, and when she inquired whether they were edible, the server ā the restaurantās director of operations, Max Lipton ā informed her that they were not.
But something about it didnāt sit right. The bill for two people came to $464.40, after tax and a mandatory 20% service charge.
At that price, she expected a little more than decorations foraged from a patch used for dog relief.
And she had some questions.
Were the ferns stolen? Were they washed? Had they been sprayed with insecticide and pesticides and who knows what else?
Why was a restaurant of this caliber doing something that seemed foolish at best and illegal and dangerous at worst?
Read the full report.
submitted by TampaBayTimes to tampa [link] [comments]
Video showed an employee snipping plants from the courtyard of the neighboring Pearl Apartments ā an area where dogs frequently go to the bathroom and where runoff water from the buildingās garage can seep into the soil.
Our food critic ate at Ko two months ago and saw the ferns for herself. The bright green plants were draped across an elaborate spread of tiny bites as part of the kaiseki restaurantās āhassunā course, a 10-item tasting that evening.
Save for a lone sprig here and there, the plants were mostly not touching the food, and when she inquired whether they were edible, the server ā the restaurantās director of operations, Max Lipton ā informed her that they were not.
But something about it didnāt sit right. The bill for two people came to $464.40, after tax and a mandatory 20% service charge.
At that price, she expected a little more than decorations foraged from a patch used for dog relief.
And she had some questions.
Were the ferns stolen? Were they washed? Had they been sprayed with insecticide and pesticides and who knows what else?
Why was a restaurant of this caliber doing something that seemed foolish at best and illegal and dangerous at worst?
Read the full report.
2024.05.15 16:52 LaReinaDeLaImprenta How can I (30F) get my husband (30M) to self reflect and to be dedicated to me instead of his parents?
Hello friends of reddit. My husband (30M) and I (30F) have been married for 6 months and it is not going as expected. In the beginning, he made it clear that due to his religious beliefs that he did not to have sex before marriage. I agreed as I had horrible judgement in men and was not looking to get taken for another ride again.
Background on him: He comes from an extremely religious family (Baptist). Worked his own business with the family since he graduated high school. He has also lived with his parents and has never lived on his own other than a year in his parents other home before his accident (he fell 27ft and had to relearn to walk). No drinking no smoking, only spend time with family and outdoor activities. Background on me: While I come from an abusive traumatic family I am currently 5 years therapy strong working on myself as it is my responsibility not my partners. I went to college and lived on my own until covid lay offs and I had to move back home with my father, which wasnt ideal. I work full time and have my own business; I am very motivated.
As time progressed he changed his mind and we ended up sleeping together. I asked for us to move in together for a lil while before we got married. My parents (divorced) were not okay with that but I did not care. He told me that we would need to sit down and discuss the idea of moving in together with his parents. I said; "Why would we need to ask permission we are 30?" and he said that we would have to in order to save face. I said "I am not comfortable with discussing this with your family as it is not their business." He said we were not to move in together until we do. I told him if he forced me to meet with his parents then I was going to tell his mother that we have already had sex so there was no reason not to move in together. He never set up the meeting. We never moved in together. He is very close to his parents in my opinion to the point it is unhealthy. I watch as his dad undermines, belittles, and ignores his mother with a smile and charming laugh on his face until she is in complete submission. She admitted to me that while she was clipping coupons for the family, he was out spending all the money on machines / equipment that they did not need. She has cried to me in front of my husband about how she still needs to voice her opinion even though it is never listen to or goes the way she suggests. That was a red flag to me.
My now husband of mine and I started to plan out life together. He told me that he owns his own business and has 60 acres of property and wanted to build a life there. He promised me that we were going to work together and build a home that we can make a guest house and eventually build a bigger home. He wants it to be similar to a Lowcountry plantation. I was all for it, finally excited that I had someone I could create a life with that we both wanted and deserved.
That is when things turned. He started to move forward on building a home for us without a permit nor engineer drawings. Before he started, I told him that made me very uncomfortable and I need security to know this home is done correctly since he will be out of town a lot and I will be left alone in a town I know no one. That made him insulted and said this is how his father and family did their home and he just moved forward on building it himself. I begged, cried, and pleaded with him to please let's get the water and septic out there first and work on a budget of plans / permits to break ground. That I was not comfortable living that way, my father was a GC and taught me a lot of what needs to be done for a home to be an asset. He waved me off, told me that my father was just a carpenter. I cried for months over it and almost moved the wedding back a year. His father was behind the scenes telling him and motivating him to continue to do whatever he wanted to do regardless of how I felt. He finally heard me after I threaten to postpone the wedding and stopped construction and told me he would get a permit on the home and drawings before he did anything else.
The closer the wedding got, the difficult it became. I gave him my pay stubs, W2, and showed my assets to him up front. I showed all of my cards and asked to see his in return. He said he would and he never did. When I asked him more than once he would get annoyed with me. I started to get suspicious. I felt as if he was hiding something. So I did my own investigation. It turns out that his father and him own the property together in a way that if one passes the other gets it and he only owns 20% of the business he claimed was his. I was stunned. Everything he told me was half truths. I brought it to his attention many times and he acted like he told me already. I told him I knew the truth and he said it wasn't a big deal and I am making something out of it that it isnt. If his father had more respect for his wife and for women, I would not be this concerned. His father throws trash on the ground and ignores rules and regulations while having a problem with authority at his own home. Now everything he doesnt want at his house is being thrown over to my husband's property (which is his too and he has a right to do what he wants). Being in that type of chaotic environment along with the sense of having someone stomp on my boundaries for me would be extremely triggering and something that I will not be able to do. He is already throwing trash and leaving debris and junk all over the property. I communicated my feelings and got met with resentment, anger, and denial from my husband. He told me that it was not going to be that way. He also called me controlling bc instead of spending 25,000 on permits / our home, he spend it on a brand new truck (he has two other trucks). I was so upset and said how could he spend that much money on a toy when he hasn't even provided a home for our family. He was texting his dad about the truck behind my back and he was motivated to do whatever he wanted to do regardless of what I thought bc I am "controlling".
I told him from day one that I am a career woman, that I am not going to be solely responsible for the household and I am not his mother and I will not pick up after him. I expect things to be 50/50 in finances and in house work until we figure out what works best for us. He said he agreed and was very happy with that. I then told him in order for me to feel comfortable moving out to his 60 acres of land, that it would need to be solely in his name and he would need to get a permit and engineer drawings. He told me as soon as we were married that he would move forward with that.
With all these red flags, I continued to move forward with the wedding as he promised me the world. He kept dragging his feet on the home construction and it was failing to be completed before our wedding. His dad was telling him to take his time it is not that big of a deal. 4 months before our wedding, his family and him expected me to live in an unpermited non CO having shed like house, with no power, water, septic, nor appliances, an empty shell, no sheetrock (his father made his mother live like that). In complete distress I begged my father to do a lease to own with one of his rental properties for me so that my husband and I would have a place to live after we got married since the home was in no condition to live in. My father begrudgingly agreed and then told me to not Marry him. I did always. My family ended up ruining the wedding for me and causing our special day to not be as special.
Fast forward a few months when it was time for us to pay our lease to own payment. He was late every month, got angry at me for asking for his part of the money, I asked him to help with the chores and he would get annoyed with me, he has not mowed the grass once (my father and I have). I can count on my hand the times hes raked the yard and done dishes. He makes double the amount of money I made but I am writing the checks for the bills. I am just asking for his portion and he told me that I am treating him like a roommate not like a husband / wife. I asked him to explain and he couldn't. I finally got fed up and told me to give me 4 checks signed so when he is out of town for work and I need to pay the bills I can. He handed me the checks and they had him and HIS MOTHER on the account. Admitted, I lost my cool. I was overwhelmed with the amount of involvement his parents had in his assets and life. He has made me feel like he has lied to me. I told him as long as my boundaries are disrespected and I have no say in our home and our life that I do not want anything to do with their property. He would get mad and say it was his and id remind him, no it is not. It belongs to him and his father. He said it is his home and he is going to build it the way he wanted.
A few weeks after that argument he completely distant himself from me. He was out till 8pm every night for weeks and I kept asking him where he was. All he said was "working". A few weeks later, I finally go out to the property to see a full blown house. Behind my back he was working on that home putting roofing, plumbing, tile, siding, everything! He told me we were going to work on this together. I was so upset, everything is half ass done. He let me pick out nothing. I called him on it and he denied it. Come to find out him and his father had been working on it behind my back. While I was struggling to pay our bills he was using his money to continue on building on the home without drawings, permits, engineering, nothing. He couldn't give me money for our house hold bills, but he could spend thousands and thousands on something he promised me he was not going to do. Then he proceeded to tell me what "we" were going to give his father a $2,000.00 fish finder for a present. I told him is he out of his mind we can not afford that (mind you he gave me nothing for my birthday though he did bake me a cake and it was sweet). I said you are going to spend that much money on a gift and you didnt even get your wife anything for her birthday? he said "you got an engagement ring, that was expensive enough" I said "so bc you gave me an engagement ring, that means you do not have to purchase anything else for me as a gift?" he just waved me away. I said you never discussed this transaction with me and you are saying "we" are getting it. He said "well when I said 'we' I meant me and my mother."
I just stared at him. He considers WE as him and his parents. Finally got him into marriage counseling and it does not seem to be helping. He has missed 4 sessions already bc he chose work over me. He is pulling away from me completely, no affection, no sex (I did not know he had an issue brushing his teeth so now I cringe in fear of getting dumpster breath anytime we are intimate). This was NOT like this during our dating time.
I feel like I am drowning and I have made a HUGE mistake. Typing this out makes me feel guilty for telling the truth and maybe I am being controlling and overbearing like his parents are saying? This is why I am coming to you people of reddit.
I feel like I am in a polyamorous relationship. I feel like I have escaped the control of my family only to end up in a place where I am controlled by another man that I am not even MARRIED TO. I feel like I am a ship with two anchors that are my parents, when I got married I thought he was going to help captain my ship, not be another anchor on my vessel to weigh me down. All my friends have noticed that I have changed and I am not my normal self.
How can I get my husband self reflect on how he is treating me and be dedicated to me and not his parents?
Am I out of line? is this weird? Am I expecting too much?
Thank you so much for taking the time to read this post. I love my husband very much but I am stuck.
submitted by LaReinaDeLaImprenta to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
Background on him: He comes from an extremely religious family (Baptist). Worked his own business with the family since he graduated high school. He has also lived with his parents and has never lived on his own other than a year in his parents other home before his accident (he fell 27ft and had to relearn to walk). No drinking no smoking, only spend time with family and outdoor activities. Background on me: While I come from an abusive traumatic family I am currently 5 years therapy strong working on myself as it is my responsibility not my partners. I went to college and lived on my own until covid lay offs and I had to move back home with my father, which wasnt ideal. I work full time and have my own business; I am very motivated.
As time progressed he changed his mind and we ended up sleeping together. I asked for us to move in together for a lil while before we got married. My parents (divorced) were not okay with that but I did not care. He told me that we would need to sit down and discuss the idea of moving in together with his parents. I said; "Why would we need to ask permission we are 30?" and he said that we would have to in order to save face. I said "I am not comfortable with discussing this with your family as it is not their business." He said we were not to move in together until we do. I told him if he forced me to meet with his parents then I was going to tell his mother that we have already had sex so there was no reason not to move in together. He never set up the meeting. We never moved in together. He is very close to his parents in my opinion to the point it is unhealthy. I watch as his dad undermines, belittles, and ignores his mother with a smile and charming laugh on his face until she is in complete submission. She admitted to me that while she was clipping coupons for the family, he was out spending all the money on machines / equipment that they did not need. She has cried to me in front of my husband about how she still needs to voice her opinion even though it is never listen to or goes the way she suggests. That was a red flag to me.
My now husband of mine and I started to plan out life together. He told me that he owns his own business and has 60 acres of property and wanted to build a life there. He promised me that we were going to work together and build a home that we can make a guest house and eventually build a bigger home. He wants it to be similar to a Lowcountry plantation. I was all for it, finally excited that I had someone I could create a life with that we both wanted and deserved.
That is when things turned. He started to move forward on building a home for us without a permit nor engineer drawings. Before he started, I told him that made me very uncomfortable and I need security to know this home is done correctly since he will be out of town a lot and I will be left alone in a town I know no one. That made him insulted and said this is how his father and family did their home and he just moved forward on building it himself. I begged, cried, and pleaded with him to please let's get the water and septic out there first and work on a budget of plans / permits to break ground. That I was not comfortable living that way, my father was a GC and taught me a lot of what needs to be done for a home to be an asset. He waved me off, told me that my father was just a carpenter. I cried for months over it and almost moved the wedding back a year. His father was behind the scenes telling him and motivating him to continue to do whatever he wanted to do regardless of how I felt. He finally heard me after I threaten to postpone the wedding and stopped construction and told me he would get a permit on the home and drawings before he did anything else.
The closer the wedding got, the difficult it became. I gave him my pay stubs, W2, and showed my assets to him up front. I showed all of my cards and asked to see his in return. He said he would and he never did. When I asked him more than once he would get annoyed with me. I started to get suspicious. I felt as if he was hiding something. So I did my own investigation. It turns out that his father and him own the property together in a way that if one passes the other gets it and he only owns 20% of the business he claimed was his. I was stunned. Everything he told me was half truths. I brought it to his attention many times and he acted like he told me already. I told him I knew the truth and he said it wasn't a big deal and I am making something out of it that it isnt. If his father had more respect for his wife and for women, I would not be this concerned. His father throws trash on the ground and ignores rules and regulations while having a problem with authority at his own home. Now everything he doesnt want at his house is being thrown over to my husband's property (which is his too and he has a right to do what he wants). Being in that type of chaotic environment along with the sense of having someone stomp on my boundaries for me would be extremely triggering and something that I will not be able to do. He is already throwing trash and leaving debris and junk all over the property. I communicated my feelings and got met with resentment, anger, and denial from my husband. He told me that it was not going to be that way. He also called me controlling bc instead of spending 25,000 on permits / our home, he spend it on a brand new truck (he has two other trucks). I was so upset and said how could he spend that much money on a toy when he hasn't even provided a home for our family. He was texting his dad about the truck behind my back and he was motivated to do whatever he wanted to do regardless of what I thought bc I am "controlling".
I told him from day one that I am a career woman, that I am not going to be solely responsible for the household and I am not his mother and I will not pick up after him. I expect things to be 50/50 in finances and in house work until we figure out what works best for us. He said he agreed and was very happy with that. I then told him in order for me to feel comfortable moving out to his 60 acres of land, that it would need to be solely in his name and he would need to get a permit and engineer drawings. He told me as soon as we were married that he would move forward with that.
With all these red flags, I continued to move forward with the wedding as he promised me the world. He kept dragging his feet on the home construction and it was failing to be completed before our wedding. His dad was telling him to take his time it is not that big of a deal. 4 months before our wedding, his family and him expected me to live in an unpermited non CO having shed like house, with no power, water, septic, nor appliances, an empty shell, no sheetrock (his father made his mother live like that). In complete distress I begged my father to do a lease to own with one of his rental properties for me so that my husband and I would have a place to live after we got married since the home was in no condition to live in. My father begrudgingly agreed and then told me to not Marry him. I did always. My family ended up ruining the wedding for me and causing our special day to not be as special.
Fast forward a few months when it was time for us to pay our lease to own payment. He was late every month, got angry at me for asking for his part of the money, I asked him to help with the chores and he would get annoyed with me, he has not mowed the grass once (my father and I have). I can count on my hand the times hes raked the yard and done dishes. He makes double the amount of money I made but I am writing the checks for the bills. I am just asking for his portion and he told me that I am treating him like a roommate not like a husband / wife. I asked him to explain and he couldn't. I finally got fed up and told me to give me 4 checks signed so when he is out of town for work and I need to pay the bills I can. He handed me the checks and they had him and HIS MOTHER on the account. Admitted, I lost my cool. I was overwhelmed with the amount of involvement his parents had in his assets and life. He has made me feel like he has lied to me. I told him as long as my boundaries are disrespected and I have no say in our home and our life that I do not want anything to do with their property. He would get mad and say it was his and id remind him, no it is not. It belongs to him and his father. He said it is his home and he is going to build it the way he wanted.
A few weeks after that argument he completely distant himself from me. He was out till 8pm every night for weeks and I kept asking him where he was. All he said was "working". A few weeks later, I finally go out to the property to see a full blown house. Behind my back he was working on that home putting roofing, plumbing, tile, siding, everything! He told me we were going to work on this together. I was so upset, everything is half ass done. He let me pick out nothing. I called him on it and he denied it. Come to find out him and his father had been working on it behind my back. While I was struggling to pay our bills he was using his money to continue on building on the home without drawings, permits, engineering, nothing. He couldn't give me money for our house hold bills, but he could spend thousands and thousands on something he promised me he was not going to do. Then he proceeded to tell me what "we" were going to give his father a $2,000.00 fish finder for a present. I told him is he out of his mind we can not afford that (mind you he gave me nothing for my birthday though he did bake me a cake and it was sweet). I said you are going to spend that much money on a gift and you didnt even get your wife anything for her birthday? he said "you got an engagement ring, that was expensive enough" I said "so bc you gave me an engagement ring, that means you do not have to purchase anything else for me as a gift?" he just waved me away. I said you never discussed this transaction with me and you are saying "we" are getting it. He said "well when I said 'we' I meant me and my mother."
I just stared at him. He considers WE as him and his parents. Finally got him into marriage counseling and it does not seem to be helping. He has missed 4 sessions already bc he chose work over me. He is pulling away from me completely, no affection, no sex (I did not know he had an issue brushing his teeth so now I cringe in fear of getting dumpster breath anytime we are intimate). This was NOT like this during our dating time.
I feel like I am drowning and I have made a HUGE mistake. Typing this out makes me feel guilty for telling the truth and maybe I am being controlling and overbearing like his parents are saying? This is why I am coming to you people of reddit.
I feel like I am in a polyamorous relationship. I feel like I have escaped the control of my family only to end up in a place where I am controlled by another man that I am not even MARRIED TO. I feel like I am a ship with two anchors that are my parents, when I got married I thought he was going to help captain my ship, not be another anchor on my vessel to weigh me down. All my friends have noticed that I have changed and I am not my normal self.
How can I get my husband self reflect on how he is treating me and be dedicated to me and not his parents?
Am I out of line? is this weird? Am I expecting too much?
Thank you so much for taking the time to read this post. I love my husband very much but I am stuck.