This situation happened months ago, but I’m asking for judgement now since things have came up and I’m still sticking with my decision.
My niece got pregnant at 17 and gave birth at 18. During her pregnancy she had a baby shower and I bought her expensive cute baby clothes/ toys and other related baby items like an expensive car seat and diapers (it was 400 for all of this). I had the money for it and I really wanted to help out my niece. Her mom (my sister) did not help her throughout the pregnancy and told me she was kicking her out as soon as the baby is born (which did happen). I don’t blame my sister for kicking her out or not caring for the baby at all, that’s a whole other situation.. I just wanted to help out my niece.
After giving birth she started living with her boyfriend and his family. I was going through Facebook and my niece has multiple listings for the baby stuff I gifted her. I message her asking why. She said she really loved the stuff I gave her.. but she’s selling it because she wanted to get piercings and a tattoo. I was pretty livid at this point and in the heat of the moment I told her don’t ever ask me for help or babysitting or anything. She then said “I have my boyfriend and his family I don’t need your help” then blocked me.
It turns out from which I heard from family that her boyfriend (the baby’s father by the way) and family aren’t all that good help. Everyone else in the family doesn’t want to babysit or help, so she has been asking me to help babysit because she wants to get a job. I flat out tell her no, and do not ask for help from me again, you don’t need my help remember? She was telling me she was at the end of her rope and can’t live like this. While at that point I started to feel bad but I just told her a second time don’t ask for my help again.
She’s been almost daily asking me for help with babysitting and money, but I’m sticking with my decision. AITAH for this?

I'm doing a very big 100mi race for charity in honor of a family friend that died last year.
The charity I'm racing for sent me a cute PR package to help support me. The only thing is I've created a page to raise money for them/my face, but I don't have social media. My friends don't even Facebook anymore. My in-laws barely know how to turn on a printer.
I only use LinkedIn which my post there got 23 views and no donations.
I would be embarrassed to do the race and not have any donations. I'm doing it solo and not for some big event with loads of people. What is the best way about going about asking for donations? Would it be weird to send an email to everyone at my work? This is my first time doing a charity thing.

Buna , Vreau sa fiu cat se poate de scurta , eu locuiesc in strainatate se 8 ani impreuna cu sotul meu. In urma cu un an am nascut un baietel, pe cand copilul avea 2 luni, eu aveam programat examenul auto proba practica , iar pe cand copilul facea 6 luni , urma sa am un curs de calificare pentru un alt loc de munca asa ca am avut nevoie de ajutor cu cel mic , noi neavand pe nimeni aici.. Am vorbit cu mama mea care este pensionara , a fost deacord si a venit .. De aici incep problemele ,a ajuns si treptat a incepu sa se comporte diferit cu mine , mentionez ca ea statea cu copilul 3 ore pe zi , atat cat mergeam eu sa imi fac orele de practica .. problema e ca avea ceva doar cu mine , pur si simplu nu imi mai vorbea si nu stiam de ce , am incercat sa aflu dar imi tot repeta ca nu e nimic. Intr-o zi , am iesit afara si a trebuit sa traversam o strada care era in lucru , masinile circulau cu viteza iar din cauza lucrarilor vizibilitatea era foarte redusa , i am spus mamei mele sa imi dea copilul , pentru ca vreau sa l stiu in siguranta atat cat trecem strada iar dupa urma sa il dau inapoi, fiind placerea ei .... ei bine , mama mea in acel moment a decis ca ea poate si a marit efectiv pasu "fugind" cu bebelusul meu, mi-a stat inima , atunci a fost prima oara cand m-am rastit la ea si i-am spus doar ca asa ceva sa nu mai faca niciodata , normal , s a suparat , mi-a dat copilul si mi-a spus ca sunt o descreierata si ca ea nu mai pune mana pe copilul meu afara .. ok, ajunse acasa , am incercat sa discut cu ea despre cele intamplate si a parut ca intelege ce am simtit si eu .. Daaarr , in continuare atitudinea ei era foarte ciudata , acum vorbea ca si cum totul e ok si in secunda doi nu mai vorbea cu mine .. Ma rog , a trecut perioada asta , a inceput sa mi de a de inteles ca ea nu mai este dispusa sa vina sa stea cu fiul meu cat imi fac eu cursul , a plecat acasa , nu ne-a mai cautat. Am decis sa facem si noi botezul in Romania , ajunsi acolo, ea nu ne-a sunat sau invitat niciodata la ea acasa , asa ca ne-am dus cu "japca" .. Acolo, se comporta ca si cum nu s a intamplat nimic.. intr un moment de sinceritate mi-a spus ca eu am ranito cand am glumit pe seama faptului ca a bagat niste haine la spalat si le-a decolorat.. Ok.. a trecut si botezul , ea in continoare foarte distanta, a doua zi a fost baita si ziua mea la care nu si-a dorit sa fie prezenta, intre timp am aflat ca nici la botez nu a vrut sa vina dar a fost convinsa de fratele meu .. Noi ne-am intors acasa la noi si de atunci se face aproape un an de zile de cand ea nu a vrut sa ne mai caute acuzandu-ma subtil prin comentariile de pe facebook ca nu ii arat copilul.. Ce sa fac ? Am renuntat si eu sa o mai sun de cand ne-am intors , pentru ca oricat as incerca sa aflu ce se intampla raspunsul este "nimic"..

I (22f) matched with a guy Sam (26M) on facebook dating (friendship setting) recently. We exchanged instagrams and started DMing a lot. A few days later we started texting and he asked me to hangout. He suggested we go bowling together, just us, so we did. He doesn’t have a car right now so I picked him up and we went, then hung out back at his house. It felt very much like a date. Since then, he’s been texting me everyday. He met all my friends last weekend. Last week, he was having a hard day and called me crying to come over so he could have someone there for comfort. We’ve only known each other for 3ish weeks, and I just am confused because it seemed like he just wanted to be friends initially since we matched, but we’ve been texting daily and his actions seem like he’s interested. And I’m definitely interested, he’s really cute. I guess I just am not sure if he genuinely just wants to be friends, or is he testing the waters for more. He hasn’t tried anything yet but he’s definitely flirty. It’s even more confusing because I know he’s often hanging out with another girl, he says they’re not together but they seem to be together quite often. I’ve just never randomly struck up a platonic friendship with a man like this. Unsure what to make of it.

I am NOT OOP. OOP is u/justathrowaway282641
Originally posted to TwoHotTakes + her own page
Previous BoRU #1, BoRU #2, BoRU #3, BoRU #4, BoRU #5, BoRU 6
Editor’s Note: removed all relevant comments from older posts to make space for new updates. To see all older relevant comments, check out the previous BoRUs above
NEW UPDATE MARKED WITH ----
[New Update]: My family forgot to invite me to my grandparents funeral, but they are convinced I was there.
Trigger Warnings: death of loved ones, emotional manipulation, gaslighting, harassment
RECAP
Original Post: November 14, 2023**
I’m 30s F and caused a major blowup in my family and now none of them are talking to me. For background, my hometown is tiny (500pop) and when I went 2 hrs away to “the city” (15,000pop) for college, I loved it. I ended up staying after graduation, got married, and am happy here for a decade. I visit my home town every few weeks or so, call/text my family near daily, and thought we were all good. My family’s pretty small. Just my brother, mom, step dad, dad, step mom, and an aunt and uncle (mom’s siblings, never married, no kids). My mother's grandparents moved to my home town when I was in high school and were just down the street from us. My family has always been pretty drama free (aside from my parent’s divorce when I was a kid) and we’ve been happy. The step-parents were blended in perfectly and we share holidays and celebrations together. We’re all super close and just the perfect little group.
Ever since I moved away, the topic of “when am I moving back?” is constant, and I’ve always laughed it off. My home town has nothing. You have to drive 30 minutes for milk and bread. 60-90 minute one-way commutes to work. And floods shut down the main road every Easter. I love the town, but I love here more. I have parks, stores, community events, a library! The “city” is great. My family grumbles that I need to move back, but I refuse. I've been trying to encourage them to come here, especially since it's not an hour drive to the nearest medical facility.
Now to the meat and potatoes: both my grandparents passed over COVID times. They were both old and their health had been failing for a while so it was only a matter of time. Thankfully they didn’t catch it, but it made visiting them impossible and we survived mostly through FaceTime. They both passed in their sleep months apart. Both were cremated and kept securely under the kitchen sink for safe keeping while the pandemic blew over. That was 2021.
Well, I just found out my family held a funeral for them and scattered the ashes in my uncle’s maple grove over the summer. No one said a word to me about it. I’ve visited numerous times before and after and not one word. I only found out because my great uncle from California posted on Facebook a few weeks ago that he is entering hospice and was so thankful his health stayed strong enough for him to see his little sister (my grandma) to her final resting place. I was confused and called my mom. She was all “Yeah, the funeral we had in July, remember?” Ya’ll, I visited them for the 4th of July. They did the funeral the 8th. Not a word about it to me. They had planned this for months. Long enough to arrange for my infirm great uncle to be brought over from the other side of the country. Apparently, they talked about it “all the time”.
Everyone is convinced I was at the funeral. They SWEAR I was there. I can prove I wasn’t because Google’s got my location history. My hubby is baffled because he was supposedly there, too, but he had to work every weekend in June and July. Time clock doesn’t lie. My family straight up forgot about me. I’m hurt. I’m sad. And they’re pissed at me “for lying”. They think I’m causing drama over nothing. Nothing I say can convince them I wasn’t there. My family is united in this. And they’ve all put me “on read” until I admit I’m wrong. They think I’ve gone nuts. Either there’s a doppelganger of me attending events, or my family doesn’t want to admit they screwed up. I’m not backing down.
Thanksgiving is coming up, and my family’s been vague posting on Facebook about “forgetful kids” and mental health. It’s so freaking weird and I don’t know if I’m in bizzaro world or what’s going on. My mom’s best friend reached out and said I should just admit I was wrong and apologize, that I’m causing my mom so much unnecessary stress. I asked her if she’s checked everyone’s home for CO2. She hung up on me. (We checked our CO2, and our testers are running just fine.) I have reached out to a few people in my home town to check in on my folks, and they all say they're fine. I even spoke with the local volunteer fire fighter group to see if they could check for gas leaks. Not sure if they were able to.
I don’t know what to do. I’ve shown them the proof I wasn’t there, but they know I’m tech savvy and just assume I’ve Photoshopped it. Hubby says we need a break, and we’re going to be staying home this holiday season.
Edit: I don't know the update rules, so I'll post updates to my profile should anyone want them.  
Update #1: November 27, 2023
Not sure how to do updates on posts, so figured I'd post anything on my profile. Folks have private messaged me and this will be easier I think?
It's 11/27 and Thanksgiving just happened. Hubby and I stayed home. We got a small turkey and made our own little thanksgiving. It was nice. We ate around noon, then watched a movie, and later sat outside with a bottle of wine to watch the sun set behind the trees and neighbor houses.
We usually take the day before off, drive to my folks, stay the night, and help with the Thanksgiving Day cooking. So it wasn't until Wednesday night that my mom broke the silence. Mom called and asked when I was showing up, and I told her we were staying home this year, but for them to have a happy Thanksgiving, and to give the rest of the family my love. She was quiet for a long time after I said that, and I think she eventually mumbled an "okay", or something, and hung up. It wasn't an angry hang up. Just a hang up. On Thanksgiving day, I sent a group "Happy Thanksgiving!" gif to our family group chat. I received a few "happy Thanksgiving"'s back. No one's said anything else. There's been no posts on Facebook.  
Update #2: December 12, 2023
So, I think I mentioned in one of my comments that my dad and I usually talk on the phone every Sunday morning. We're both early risers so we'd chat over our morning coffees and watch the sunrise. Him and I haven't really spoken since this all went down and it's been tough. I'm used to talking to him, you know?
Well, I was sitting outside in my usual spot, watching the sun rise and freezing my butt off, and he called me. I'm not entirely sure how to describe the emotions I felt. It was a mix of panic, hope, terror, happiness, and dread. I ended up answering because I just had to know what he wanted. It was an awkward conversation. He didn't address the current "drama", but instead tiptoed around the situation with all the grace of an cow on stilts. For instance, a simple "How are you doing?" Type question was answered with a "Not good." And the whole conversation would stall out for a bit because he knew why I wasn't doing well. So we ended up talking about the weather, the various winter birds we'd seen in our feeders, and the Christmas decorations around town. Things like that.
Eventually he asked if we were coming out for Christmas, and sounded sad when I told him we weren't. He asked if him and step mom could come visit us instead, and I told him it wasn't a good idea this year. That hubby and I were going to spend a quiet holiday together. I let him know he should be receiving some gifts at his PO Box any day now, so to please pick them up from the post office and put them under the family tree for everyone. He said he'd ship ours to us as well.
And that was pretty much it. No crazy drama to report. The only posts on Facebook have been the usual Christmas excitement ones, countdowns, photos of Santa, silly gift ideas, photos of company Christmas parties.
On a personal note: Hubby and I are doing alright. Our health is good, our spirits high, and we're as solid as ever. We each got Christmas bonus' at our jobs, so we're excited about that. They're not large, but we're happy to have them. We have also done advent calendars for the first time ever. I got him a Lego one, and he got me a hot chocolate one. We're going to do the calendars again next year. Maybe make a tradition out of it.
Everyone please have a safe and happy holidays.  
Inheritance: December 16, 2023
I've received a lot - A LOT - of messages and private DMs urging me to check into inheritance and such. I'm really touched a lot of Internet strangers are worried about me and I wanted to ensure everyone that inheritance is most likely not an issue here. I'd almost be relieved if it was, because then it would at least make some sense. Money does weird things to people, you know?
No one in my family is wealthy by any means. After my grandparents' passed, their small estate was used to pay for their end of life expenses and remaining assets split up. Everyone directly related got an equal split (so excluded my dad and the step parents). I don't remember the exact amount I received, but it was around $5k if I recall. My brother gave me his share, too, so I could finish paying off my college debt while the interest freeze was active.
The great uncle from California has kids and grand kids, and great grandkids of his own, and also isn't wealthy. I think one of his kids makes good money doing something in finance, but I'm not entirely sure. I can't imagine he left us anything, as we hardly knew him. My mom, aunt, and uncle only met him a few times in their lives, and my brother and I even less. Grandma and him were close, but I don't think he liked my grandpa much.  
Christmas: December 25, 2023
I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas. I've received a lot of support through my posts and I'm really grateful. Writing these updates have had a therapeutic effect.
Yesterday was Sunday, but I didn't answer my dad when he called. I just really didn't feel up to a pointless chat, so let it go to voicemail. He tried to reach me a few times throughout the day, but I didn't answer.
Our bestie last minute invited us over to his house for Christmas day lunch (today), so husband and I were busy all Christmas Eve making cookies, peanut brittle, and homemade suckers/hard candies for his kids. Mom tried to reach out as well, but I also ignored her calls.
We had a BLAST at lunch! Our friend's kids are a lot of fun to be around. They got some techy presents from their grandparents (Quest vr headset and steam decks, lucky little rascals) Friend and his wife aren't good with tech, while hubby and I are, so we helped get them set up while our friend played a good host to his folks and inlaws. The grandparents didn't realize that a Steam deck required a Steam account, so we got the kids all their own accounts set up, added them to our steam friends lists, and gifted them some games. We also bought them a few VR games for their headset, and they were off to the races with Beat Saber in no time.
As for my folks: My brother texted and asked if we could talk sometime tomorrow. I think me ignoring mom and dad has caused some kind of upset. Which they deserve.  
Brother’s call: December 26, 2023
Spoke with my brother over the phone this morning.
For starters, he apologized for everything. Him and I are good (for now). For a bit of background, my brother and I are only 2 years apart. There weren't a lot of kids around growing up, so the two of us were often stuck doing stuff together. So we have a lot of shared interests and passions. He's been pretty silent on this whole matter, but still "part of the group", if you know what I mean. I think the thought of losing him out of my life was probably the most painful, because he's always been there. He was my rock until I met my husband. He's definitely a Mama's boy, though, so anything mom wanted, he made sure she got. I'm happy to have him back.
Without further ado, here's the story from the horse's mouth:
Mom apparently had a cancer scare late last year (which no one told me about, go figure), and dad had a stint put in his heart back in January (which I did know about). This "sense of mortality" has apparently lit a fire under Mom's ass to get me back home. But since I wasn't reacting to her passive aggressive hinting, she and step mom decided to go full crazy. My great uncle's health was bad, and he'd been asking about funeral arrangements for his sister (my grandma) for a while, so the moms decided to plan it. And use the event as a giant middle finger to me. They kept all the planning pretty hush-hush between the two of them, so no one on our side of the family actually knew about the funeral until like 2 weeks before. The moms said they'd invited hubby and I. No one thought anything about it. No one thought to mention, confirm, or check with me.
The plan was to scatter the ashes, say a few words, and maybe head to town for lunch. It was a small affair. The mom's didn't even tell the family that our great uncle was coming for it. Like I said, it was a small thing. Barely a footnote. No one thought it was odd because we're pretty chill people.
4th of July happens. Hubby and I are out. No one thought to mention it, as we were all busy celebrating and having a great time. Any time the topic of "this weekend" would start, the conversation would be quickly shifted by one of the moms. We went back home.
8th of July happens. Great uncle rolls into town with a few of his kids, grandkids, and great grandkids, and it's a surprise to everyone (but the moms). Everyone drives to the maple grove and the moms have brought a ton of food and stuff. It's a full blown party. No one on my side noticed I wasn't there, because there were so many extra faces outside the usual group. They did the spreading of the ashes, they said their words, they ate, they had a great time. It wasn't until our great uncle left, and all his side left with him, that they realized I wasn't there. And hadn't been there.
And this is where the crazy went up a notch. My brother says the moms were happy no one noticed I wasn't there. And that this was proof to everyone that I needed to move back because I was so easily forgotten about. Because none of them thought to reach out, right? They basically did a ton of guilt tripping manipulation bullshit and it made everyone upset at me for not showing up. Somehow it was my fault for being excluded. So suddenly everyone was on their side with "sticking it to me".
But then a few months went by, and tempers cooled, and then I guess the horror of it set in. Followed by the shame, but by then they were "in too deep". How do you undo something like this? And since I hadn't brought it up, I guess they figured they would all just stay quiet about it and hope I never asked about a funeral.
That's when I discovered the situation from my great uncle's Facebook and called my mom, who panicked and went with the stupidest solution. Claiming I was there. Don't I remember?
I ended up talking with a few friends from high school, mentioning the situation, and word got back to those in town. So suddenly town gossip and little old church ladies got involved. Was I, or wasn't I at the funeral? Did my family forget to invite me to the funeral of the only grandparents I'd ever know? Or am I just causing a ruckus? My brother said they all just went with mom's answer. Of course they wouldn't forget me. Of course I was there. Of course they're good people. And it just snowballed.
The family expected me to eventually fold. I'm usually a nonconfrontational person, so me sticking to my guns was unexpected. And then I missed Thanksgiving. And now Christmas. With no sign of backing down. And I guess the realization that I could just stop being part of their lives is setting in and my parents are panicking. He's tried just getting them to apologize and explain, but stubbornness prevails. They want to rug sweep, but I'm not letting them.
My brother is upset with everything that's happened. He's realized just how crappy it all has been and he wants nothing to do with it anymore. But since he lives with my mom, he can't "get away from it".
He has asked if he can come stay with us for a little bit. I spoke with hubby, and he's in agreement with me that my brother can come crash in our spare bedroom for as long as he wants. Brother works remotely, so it's no trouble for him to pick up and go. I believe he's making the trip today or tomorrow. Not entirely sure, but I expect crap to hit the fan when he arrives.
On a side note, hubby's stoked that my brother and I made up. The two usually game together, but haven't due to "the situation". He's downstairs right now setting up his man cave in preparation for my brother's arrival. I'm happy to see him so excited.  
Brother's Here: December 27, 2023
My brother rolled in late last night. He'd obviously been crying and when I opened the door, he just held me and sobbed. I'd never seen him like that before and soon both of us were just standing in the doorway crying into one another. He kept apologizing. Over and over again. Said he wasn't sure why he went with it. Just kept saying sorry. Hubby got him all set up in the spare bedroom while brother and I talked. My brother's a wreck. He's always been a big guy, but he's lost a lot of weight and his clothes just hang off him. If I didn't know better, I'd think he was on drugs. We talked for a little bit before bed and he re-explained everything for my husband. I'd told hubby the story, but it was just so weird that hearing it again helped.
This morning my brother was up at dawn making some coffee and getting his work day going. Hubby's off all week (lucky) so hubby made us working folk some pancakes and bacon. So far everything's peaceful. We've decided not to answer any calls from our family. They've been made aware that he arrived safely, and that we are going to spend the New Years together, and that we're not answering any calls until January 1st. They may text if they wish. I'm sure they're losing their minds. Serves them right.
Everyone, have a safe and happy new years! Don't drink and drive!  
Happy 2024!: January 2, 2024
I hope everyone has a safe and enjoyable holidays, and may the new year be full of joy and happiness!
Not too much of an update. Things here have been quiet. My brother's settled in nicely and he's a great housemate. Our place isn't very big, but we have full basement and a nice outside patio/porch area so it doesn't feel crowded at all with the extra addition. He's a quiet and clean guy. No hassle at all. He got some fresh clothes from the Walmart, a haircut, and trimmed his beard, so he's more "presentable" now. He's a lady killer when he gets cleaned up. He's made nice with the (very nosy, but kind) retired couple next door and is adapting to "city living" nicely.
Folks back home have been mostly well behaved. There's been a few texts back and forth, as we're not answering calls. Mom mainly wants to know when brother's coming back, but he's keen on staying here for a while. Mom said I can't "keep him" and I told her he's a grown ass man and can do what he wants. Brother says he has her blocked after she ORDERED him to return home.
Brother has tentatively asked if he could stay long term, should he decide to, or at least longer than a usual visitor would stay. Which we're fine with. He has a good paying job and could afford an apartment, but he's never lived on his own and I would guess he has some anxiety about it. Should that be the case, he'll start paying us some rent and we'd probably adjust to give him the basement as his own space.  
Had to change the locks: January 17, 2024
My brother is officially staying with us for the long haul. Hubby and him spent all Sunday organizing the basement and shifting things around so he now has his own area to be comfortable in. He's pretty handy and has also started fixing little things around our house. Our windows and doors have never closed and locked/unlocked smoother. He even fixed one of the closets we never use because we can never get the darn door open. Sadly, he also had to change the locks on our house and get us all new keys.
This is because while hubby and I were out this Saturday, the moms showed up. They'd been calling and texting us all week, but we weren't really answering them, so I guess the two decided to drive over and hash it out in person. They have emergency keys to my place, and just let themselves in. Brother told them to leave, they argued, and my nosy (but kind) neighbors called the police when they noticed the commotion. So, we get a call from neighbor's wife, return home to some cops in our yard, all the neighbors out "vacuuming their trees", and my nosy (but kind) neighbors standing on my porch with my brother behind them, doing their best Gandalf "You shall not pass" impression.
Had to talk with the cops, explain that we were having a family dispute and word vomited. I don't really remember what all I said, and was shaking a lot. Our local cops are really great. Fantastic guys and gals in blue, and took it all in stride. It's really cold here, so one had me join him in his cruiser with the heat on, and gave me a bottle of water to calm down while we talked. They asked if we wanted the moms trespassed but I wasn't sure if that counted as a criminal charge so just asked the cops if they could just make them leave, which the cops did with no fuss. I think the moms were shocked we were taking this so seriously. They didn't fight or scream at us. Just left quietly.
My dad promised me he'd make sure his wife left us alone. "Or else". He said he'd also have a stern talk with my mom. Him and I talked Sunday morning, and he seemed absolutely at the end of his rope. Husband jokingly told my dad he could move in, too. To which he declined.
Not sure where to go from here, but we're getting some ring cameras installed once they arrive. And everyone but my dad is blocked. Hopefully they all just leave us alone.  
Nothing New To Report: February 2, 2024
Had a lot of DMs for updates, but don't have much anything to report on. The moms are behaving themselves. All's quiet on the western front. Felt weird ignoring or copy/pasting "no updates" to everyone, so here's what we've been doing, should anyone care.
Dad got a new bird/squirrel feeder from Amazon (looks like a little picnic table for a child's dolly but has a mesh top for the bird seed. I think it's supposed to be for chickens?) It's totes adorbs. To his horror, it also works as a Cooper hawk feeder, so now he's "fortifying his defenses" and putting up some trellises around it. He'll have to wait till warmer weather before planting anything to grow on them.
We had some ring cameras installed and put in a motion-activated camera that double functions as a light bulb. It goes in the light fixture outside the front door and is pretty cool. Video quality isn't all that great, but it's a nice addition I guess. It does overlook the bird feeders, so I've been watching it on my lunch breaks on the days I have to go into the office.
Hubby and brother are feuding. They started a coop farm in Stardew Valley a few days ago and they both want to romance Leah. My husband confided in me that he's also been romancing Sebastian as a backup. I'm not sure why he's keeping this a secret, but he's pretty smug about it.
RELEVANT COMMENTS
fractal_frog I hope your dad can outsmart the hawks!

OOP: He'll be able to, I just know it. He's used to dealing with the wildlife and having hawks about, but he just wasn't expecting one to snag a meal right from his new feeder.
I told him it was "technically" still a bird feeder. Just....for bigger birds. Which he thought was funny. He said he might make a little "no hawks allowed" sign to put up next to it.

MissOP: keep the updates coming. the moms are so close to folding it's just a little bit more. LMAO also, the bro mance between your husband and brother is so cute. lol Honestly, I think your husband making sure he has a side piece of Sebastian is absolutely the play.

OOP: So far still no word from the moms, but I hope you're right. I would love an apology and for us to begin moving past this. But I NEED that apology. I feel selfish saying that, but I refuse to "be the bigger person" on this. I just won't.
As for my brother and husband, yeah, they're basically soul mates. The two hit it off immediately when they first met, and they've been thick as thieves for years.  

Update: February 27, 2024
My dad came out for a visit over the weekend. We had a good time and the weather was lovely for some grilling and beers. It was really nice to see him again and he seemed healthy and in good spirits.
Here's his report from back home: Step mom (dad's wife) has started to realize she's screwed up. I credit her change of mindset to the fact that my dad sat her down and laid it out for her: she leaves his kids alone, or she's getting divorce papers. That apparently shut her up right quick, because they had a prenup done when they married and I'm not sure the details of it, but it wouldn't end favorably for her. She hasn't worked in years, so I imagine she'd be eligible for alimony? But I'm not versed in any of that legal mumbojumbo. Dad didn't seem too worried about it, so I'm not gonna worry about it.
Step dad was pissed the police were involved in the last "mom visit" (despite no one getting arrested or anything) and was in a "the kids are out of control and need to be reigned back in" mindset. When my dad pointed out that "the kids" in question were all in their mid-30s, it took some of the steam out of stepdad's sails. According to my dad, even my mom looked a little surprised when he said that. So, part of me is wondering if a good chunk of this whole thing is my mom not truly realizing that her kids were grown, and no longer children she could make demands of. Both of the moms have left us alone. I expected my mom to continue to kick up a fuss, but I think the cops spooked her.
There was a wonderful suggestion by a comment or to get their pastor involved, which I passed along to my dad. Dad has since spoken to their pastor about everything. He's a young guy, relatively new to their church, and joked that his first month on the job he had to do 3 funerals in a row and his new "flock" were just dying to get away from him, so he's got a sense of humor which is nice. The new pastor agreed to sit down with everyone and help the family hash it all out in a true "Come to Jesus" type moment next month, so that maybe we could celebrate Easter together as our first holiday as a family. Dad said the pastor was aware our family was having some troubles, but unsure of exactly what was going on, and since he was new, the pastor didn't want to pry. He has also agreed to do a small service down at my uncle's maple grove later in the summer, as it usually floods and is a muddy mess all spring. According to my dad, my aunt and uncle are so over all the drama and just ready to move on, so I expect hugs and apologies from them when we next meet.
Stardew Valley Update: My brother was victorious in the grand fight for Leah. It was a hard battle. Well fought. When my husband exposed his plans to woo Sebastian all this time, it was quite the betrayal. Dramatics aside, their farm is really cute and I'm so happy they're enjoying the game!  
Update 4/1 - Final one I think - April 1, 2024
Happy April Fools everyone! I hope you all check your caramel apples for stray onions before taking a bite! I also hope your Easter weekend was a delightful one.
It is with great joy that I tell you all about our most recent update! Possibly even a conclusion to this whole ordeal.
The entire family (aunt, uncle, moms, dads, brother, me, husband) and pastor met at my dad's house and we all sat down to hash the situation out. As expected from what my dad said, my aunt and uncle greeted us all with apologies and hugs, which was nice. My uncle usually helps host the Easter egg hunts with the church and he brought our Easter baskets to give to us in case us kids weren't sticking around the for the weekend. I'm not sure why but seeing it made me tear up and feel stupid, because it was just a basket of candy but it meant a lot to me for some reason.
The pastor led us in a prayer and talked about forgiveness and such. He then asked us all to talk one at a time about how we're feeling and what we want the end result of today to be. No one was allowed to interrupt so everyone got to talk. It was nice. The consensus for the group was that most everyone wanted things to go back to "normal". The only ones who had any variance off this was my mom and step dad. They both wanted all us kids to move back to the area.
The pastor asked them why they wanted us back, and neither could give a good reason other than "because family", and the pastor asked us if we were thriving where we were. And we said we were. He asked if we were happy there. Which we were. He then asked my mom and step dad if they wanted us to give up our happiness to make them happy.
And Mom broke down and said no. We all had a good cry. The pastor then asked about the funeral and lies that led up to it and followed it and how it made us all feel and what we wished we'd done differently if we had the chance. It was all very emotional, but in a good way, you know? Everyone apologized and admitted they f-ed up and did a really crappy thing.
We all talked for a long, long time and the pastor was a great mediator. Eventually we all reached some sort of resolution and I think we're good now. Emotions are still high and a little raw in areas, but we stayed for Easter weekend and had a nice time. We're going to keep moving forward slowly and try to repair the relationship, but I believe we're well and truly out of the woods.
As for my brother, he's still staying with us, and mom will stop trying to guilt trip him back home. He's thinking about renting a small apartment in our area but we're not pushing him to make a decision. He knows he's welcome to stay as long as he wants. I think he wants to try dating (he's had a few girlfriends but never anything serious) and is embarrassed to bring any girls around our place, lol. He's been going to a few random classes/bookclubs at the local library for something free to do and hitting it off with all the little old ladies who attend, and they keep trying to hook him up with girls his age who they know. He has been on a few lunches/coffee dates with a couple girls, but I think he's too embarrassed by the attention to give it a real try at "dating" any of them. He's happy, though, which is all I could ask for.
I'm not sure if there will be any more updates, as I think it's all be resolved about as much as it can be at the moment. I wanted to thank you all for your words of advice and giving me a place to vent and scream into the void. Please be kind to one another and to yourselves. Thank you.
Relevant Comments
emjkr: What a nice and hopeful update, I’m really glad you stuck to your guns when everyone threw sanity out the window!
But, could your mother explain how she thought this would work out in her favour?

OOP: I don't think mom thought too far ahead. I believe she assumed it would all just magically work out the way she wanted it to. She said she wasn't sure what she was expecting to happen (which I think was a lie, but I wasn't going to push it).

mak_zaddy: This was a great update! But ummmmmm no stardew valley update? What gives? Has Sebastian been woo’ed? How’s Leah? What’s happening?

OOP: Sebastian has indeed been wooed (and whoohooed) There's kids and cows and chickens. The two are still having a wonderful time at the game. They're working on completing the community center but it's slow going as they aren't trying to speedrun and just doing things as they want. I believe they're thinking about going into the desert mines once they complete that bundle, but they're both super chicken shit about it!

-my-cabbages: I don't really understand what you had to apologize for ... but I'm glad you're happy and the situation seems to be settling down

OOP: There wasn't much of an apology on my end, as everyone agreed I had done nothing wrong. Mine was more of a "I'm sorry you didn't feel as though I would listen." Type apology, which I don't really believe is a proper apology because apologies like that push the blame back on another. I mostly expressed my feelings and the shock of it all, and how betrayed I felt.  

----NEW UPDATE----

Small, happy update: May 7, 2024 (1 month later)
Things as wonderful as the moment. Still doing baby steps with The Moms. We're texting and talking on the phones more, which is nice. Very civil.
Dad "accidentally" bought a bunch of hand crafted bird feeders at a craft fair. By accidentally, I mean: he had a little too much fun in the beer tent, went for a stroll while step mom wasn't looking, and stumbled upon a guy's booth and bought "one of each". He wouldn't tell me how MANY "one of each" was, but he cackled like a witch when I asked. Step mom said she's forcing him to give a few to me, so I'm expecting a delivery or a Dad-visit any day now.
My brother is officially "going steady" with a girl. We've met her a few times and she seems like a real sweetheart. She's our age and has a little boy (5-6 years old, I haven't asked) from a previous relationship (The dad's not in the picture from what I can gather). She's the granddaughter of one of his Book Club members, so the old ladies made good match makers in the end. The relationship is still very new and I'm routing for them.
No new Stardew Valley updates. Work has been a little crazy lately and I haven't been able to play much of anything, and brother has been distracted by his new lady friend. So, husband finally started Baldur's Gate 3, and fell for Gale's "magic trick" so now those two are a thing. I expect him to be sufficiently distracted from reality for the next few weeks.
 

DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP

I (23F) went to pick up a rug that I found on Facebook Marketplace. The seller wasn’t home at the time so he gave me his roommates phone number to coordinate the pick-up. When we did the handoff, I thought he was actually really cute and he looked about my age if not older. I told my friends how disappointed I was that I wasn’t more put together since I was just out running errands. But they’re telling me to shoot my shot anyways and text him😰
I’m somewhat opposed to this idea because if I was him, I’d be extremely uncomfortable with a FB marketplace rando texting my personal number while also knowing my home address. My friends insist that it’s different for guys and that he won’t care (would love to hear a guys opinion on this specifically). They say at worst he won’t respond but idk… Should I do it???

I watched it in a Facebook clip before the pandemic. And from the quality, I'm sure it released after 2000. Scene is - a group of soldiers are going somewhere in the back of a vehicle and they chat about why eating cows is fine but if you do the same with cats/dogs people are enraged.
One solder says why Indians worship cows, it's dumb. Because they eat cows. Other one says what about dogs/cats. He replies they are cute. So he says, the Chinese eat them, so they must be thinking Americans are dumb.
Please don't suggest random chatgpt answers.

I am neha ( 26 f ) , I am here to vent and get some suggestions or maybe even a real friend . This is a story of how I ruined my love life and destroyed the man who meant everything to me . We grew up in Coimbatore , i first met my boyfriend when I was in 11th grade , I actually saw him in a video , it was a Facebook video made by his friends , one of his friend proposed a girl , so they made a video of it , he was there in it too . He is tall , above 6ft , he looked ok , normal , a bit weird too with his specs and curl hair . He didn’t stand out , after few days I saw in a local chat place , he was with his friend , all sweaty , they came from gym . I recognised him immediately though. I saw him sneakily , idk why , after going home I sent him a request to his Insta . We started talking the same night , he said he saw me too , we connected way too fast , he was very funny and practical, we became best friends very soon , we almost spoke daily , in that following year we became so close, there wasn’t anything sexual , we just talk about our day and our lives daily , then he got into a relationship with a girl , I liked her too , life was so easy and fun back then , after we got into college , I Started to date a guy in my college , but we didn’t stop talking , nothing changed between us , after going to college we started getting drunk and smoking up , it was all new and we all did it almost everyday in first year , it was pretty fun . The guy I was with that time , didn’t really smoke up that much , he got drunk but he didn’t smoke pot that much , but the rest of us gathered everyday to smoke pot and play carrom . We both even meet at night to just smoke up and listen to music . At the end of the first year , one day he called me one evening and told me that he wanted to meet me , he sounded very low , I was with my my boyfriend and his friends that time but I left there immediately,booked an auto and Met him at a usual place near an IT park , we drink coffee and smoke cigarettes there usually.he was already there when I went in , he saw me and smiled but that looked very sad , he told me that his girlfriend kissed someone , a distant cousin of her actually , she kissed him in a moment and texted her girlfriend about it , she mentioned that she regrets it very much , I can’t stand it , I don’t know what to do , I feel nauseous, stuff like that . He showed the screenshots , he didn’t talk much he just smiled but that killed me . I was so angry on her , I didn’t even know what to do to make him feel better at that moment, I said she is not worth it , don’t worry , things like that . He didn’t talk about it after that , he changed the topic and he just sat there for 30-40 mins just smoking thinking about something. We speak almost daily and I know everything about him , he told me when they first had sex , we speak about everything, just not anything sexual to each other , when I saw him like this , I was feeling only rage , I was so angry on her , I don’t understand why she kissed some other guy , after getting into that relationship he was very loyal , I know how loyal he was , he even got a tattoo of her initials , but when he knew about this kiss , it made him so sad I guess . After 2 hours , we went home . I called her as soon as I went home , i scolded her so much , she started crying and told me that it was a mistake, she sounded very regretful too , she cried so much , I couldn’t bring myself to be mean after that .but that night i couldn’t sleep , my ex called me all night but I didn’t pick his call , I kept texting him , we used to text in Snapchat daily , I kept sending him texts and he texted me back to , he said he is going to get drunk and pass out , I also felt that’s better , after some days she even cut her hand , like scratches with knife on wrists , she was very regretful too , then somehow they didn’t break up , he wanted to after that but she didn’t let him , but gradually it got ok , but after this we started to speak and meet more frequently than before , I started to drop him in my college , both of our colleges are in same road , we started going in one vehicle daily. Mostly I drove , we speak all the time about nothing , even when we were going on my scooty , we just make fun of people in road , we laughed , had fun . One day he even pressed my breasts accidentally, side of my breast . I started neglecting my ex , that guy I dated that time , after few months , people started to notice , but still we didn’t care . (I actually come off from a well doing family , my family has enough money but my parents have a very unsuccessful marriage, they don’t even speak to each other , I have a younger sister and elder sister . My elder sister is married , my younger sister difference is 3 years . My parents doesn’t speak to each other , my mom openly says that they are together only for the kids . ) I loved being with him , he made me feel safe , comfortable and it’s always warm when I’m with him . We smoked pot all the time though , it was so fun , we even bunked college went to room and just smoked pot and watched anime all day . One day my ex boyfriend and his friends were in Ooty and they wanted me to come , I said I’ll come with him , I can’t come alone , and I asked him to come . We rolled some joints and started to go in his bike , we went a beautiful ride , stopped and smoked up in between, after we reached there I went with my ex boyfriend. We all smoked up that night got drunk , he usually doesn’t talk that much , but all of us were drunk and it was chill , some of my friends like him some don’t , but it’s all chill . We stayed in a tent stay there , that night I was with my ex , he wanted to make out , we kissed and did some stuff but I just felt restless and distracted, I kept thinking about him and my ex was a drunk too , it didn’t turn me on , after some time he passed out . I went out and went to his tent to see him if he is asleep , but he wasn’t there , then I started to look for him and I found him near the fire place , he was smoking up there alone with a phone in his hand , he was just singing this song 7 years by Lucas I think , he was singing along with a joint in his hand , he saw me coming , smiled but he didn’t stop singing, I can see him feeling even little embarrassed, but he looked so happy and free . I sat down there started to smoke up with him . After sometime I asked him why haven’t even kissed even once , I just asked him in a fun way but he got all serious all of a sudden , he saw me straight in the eyes and told me that he would love to kiss me , I literally felt butterflies in my lower tummy , my hips felt all tight too , idk , I still remember everything though . I kissed him in an instant, I kinda rushed in and kissed him, it felt magical . We kissed for a long time , we just kissed , nothing else . But I loved it , after sometime we separated, he saw me smiled and said I tasted sweet and bitter with weed taste . But my heart was beating so fast that time , I wanted to make out with him right there , I’ve felt horny before but he was the only guy made me feel like this , I tried to kiss him again but he stopped me and told me im drunk and asked me to go sleep . Next morning they asked me to go with them but my mind was fully on that kiss , I came back to cbe in his bike , we didn’t talk anything for the first time I just hugged him on the way back , it was nice too . I thought about plans to break up with my ex , after he dropped me home I kept thinking about the kiss , things got normal after a few days , we were like before but we started to flirt a bit , I started to call him baby and it gradually became very intimate . One day in a movie I kissed him again and he kissed me back too , we started making out bit by bit , it developed into a place where he started to grope me while im driving , I enjoyed every bit of that , I broke up with that guy I was with but he was still with that girl . Around final year first semester end they broke up too . We had intercourse the next day , it was amazing , I loved everything about him and the best thing is he is my best friend too . We rented a place for us by college end , we had sex every single day , it was the best , I loved staying with him . After this there was covid and we had to stay in our place , for one whole year I lived with him happily, he never let me down even once , he was already very caring from beginning but after we got committed , he really did treated me like a princess . He didn’t speak much but his actions were most considerate , we both worked remotely and having the time of our life , two years went by , I was happy and fullfilled , at the end of third year he quit his job and tried to get a different better job with extra good pay , 3 months passed by , one day few friends of mine from my work visited our place , they told me about opportunity to work in chennai for a month , I took it and went to chennai for a month , he dropped me to bus and sent me off to chennai . We spoke daily but not that much , I went out with my friends daily got drunk , just having fun . Some of my friends think my boyfriend is beneath me , one even said that I deserve better , she said he didn’t even get a job in three months joked and asked me whether I am the one who’s paying rent , actually he never asked me rent or money , he always paid for everything , but that time when they were joking I didn’t defend him , I still couldn’t believe that I didn’t say anything . In that week I met a guy , he came with my friends , he flirted with me when I was there , after I went back to PG I got a text from this guy , he got my number from my friends it seems . After some texts I responded and we started texting ,i liked the attention I think idk , I was talking to my boyfriend daily too , but somehow he noticed that I am not ok , he asked me about it and I said it was work issue and I am tired , 3^rd weekend I met that guy alone , he wanted to have a drink and I went , I slept with him that night , to be honest the sex wasn’t good , when he got inside me I felt darkness , I swear . Idk why I did it , after sex that guy slept in a second , I saw him lying down and I felt like killing myself , I left to my pg in midnight , I booked a cab and went back . I saw my snap notifications from him but I couldn’t open it , I blocked that guy’s number , I went to pg , cried myself to sleep . Next morning I spoke to my boyfriend , told him that I got cold and resting today , he told me that he got a job as a business manager for a US IT firm , he sounded so happy and told me that he called yesterday night to tell me this . I was crying so hard when he was on the phone , at that moment I swear I even fogot the face of that I slept with , he asked me to get rest and I hung up . I couldn’t talk to him , I felt so guilty and ashamed , as I was thinking this I get a notification my swiggy that he placed order to my pg , he bought soup . I broke down , it was like everything is telling me how big mistake I made , suddenly my thought went to that day he told me about his ex’s kiss , I can see that sad smile . I decided not to tell him and love him more and more , he had his birthday in 15 days I wanted to do something for him . When I came back from chennai , he picked me , he was so happy to see me , he spoke about his new job to me on the way , he was like a child , maybe cause he missed me for a month , I can see that he is so happy like silly child just to see me , after going home I had sex with him , I even rimmed him and I kinda liked it , it was the best sex we had , I felt alive and also very guilty . I treated him better and better to ease my guilt , but this made him very happy , I arranged a small party with my sister ,his friends and my mom .the day before his birthday we got drunk he asked me why I am not being adamant like before , ‘enna kadhal ha ‘ (joking sayin I am so in love) he joked about how afetr five years we can get super rich and start a family , I melted hearing all this .i promised myself that I will never let him down . but ha ha This is why I think karma is a bitch , at the noon of his birthday I got a text from that guy saying that he is thinking about that night . He heard the notification took the phone to pass it to me , he just saw the phone simply , just a glance and he just stopped and opened the text , I was blowing up balloons opposite of him , I saw his face and my heart sank , he came closer and gave me the phone , he didn’t speak anything , I opened my phone in a panic , saw the text and I saw him , he asked me ‘ so you slept with some guy ? ‘ , I didn’t reply , my whole mind got blank , I felt like I was gonna faint , he just saw me and said why . Of all these years I knew him I never saw him cry , but now his voice was shaking , he just asked me ‘ yen ‘ (why in tamil) . I saw tears on his eyes , I can see his eyes becoming lifeless in a matter of minutes , I tried to hug him but he just moved away , no matter how much we fight , when I hug him , he gets all cute and lovely , but he just moved away in an instinct . He then came forward hugged me tightly , he said ‘ sorry ‘ . I still don’t know why he said sorry , but that sounded so weak to me , he is my everything and I hurt him , I know everything about him and I still fucked up . He hugged me for some more time , I knew this warmth might be the last thing . After few mins , he rubbed his eyes in my dress , saw me smiled the same way . But it felt more like he is laughing at himself , I watched my 6 ft man walking out of the room , I just stood there alone , and I felt very cold , I remember that cold everyday , evening people came for the party and he got ready and cut the cake , fed me the first piece , my mom and sister was there too , he behaved very good , spoke with my family , but I can see that he is broke , but he still made it through the night , I went to speak with him that night , but he said he can’t . he said ‘ please I can’t ‘ . I choked hearing his voice , he went to terrace , I didn’t sleep at all that night , I walked around our little one bhk apartment , I smoked two packs of cigs that night , I went to check on him in the terrace by 4 , he was sleeping there on the floor , he hugs himself in sleep and its so cold , I cried watching him , just one day ago he was being silly like a kid talking about future family , now he is there alone , heartbroken . Morning usually he makes coffee and rolls one , I made coffee and rolled one , waited for him to come down . He came down saw me and smiled , but its not the cheerful smile , it just hurt so bad watching him like that , he drank the coffee , smoked up with me , even told me its good. Then he got ready , I cooked but he said he can’t eat , he is not hungry , that morning was so silent , he cheers up with he sees me , he was my biggest fan , now he left home with just saying bye . I got a text from him that aftrn asking me to move back to my mom’s if possible , I was dead . I couldn’t say no , I hurt him , he didn’t even scold me , he even requested me , I can only say yes . I asked him that I want to stay one more night , he said ok like always . That night I asked him to cuddle with me , he said ok , he wanted that too it seems , we just hugged in silent , he slept off quickly , he always told me that when I sleep with him it makes him stressfree and he gets a good night sleep . He was asleep on my breasts , I saw him sleeping and I couldn’t stop my tears , realising that this is the last time , I made a stupid mistake , but everything felt unimportant now , I saw him sleeping and I kissed him on his cheek , must have whispered sorry a 100 times , our four years relationship came through my mind , I realize that he made sure I was happy in every way he knew , I proposed him , I made him fall for me , now I broke his heart . I didb’t sleep that night too , morning I dozed off , when I woke up he wasn’t there, he made juice for me and left for work . I packed some of my stuff and went to my mom’s . when I stepped out of our little home , I broke down and cried . I went home and cried , I told my mom we fought , but my sister knew something was up , she tried to ask him but he said it was a small fight , I confessed to her that night , I still remember seeing her confused look , she is a gen z kid , but even she gave me a look of confusion , she didn’t understand how I could do that , she liked my boyfriend very much , she was almost proud of him . But when she knew I cheated on him , she felt disgusted I think . Our sister bind kind of broke too that night . My life was dull , I missed him every second , I missed talking to him , I missed his smell , everything . I just focused on work , two months went by with no contact . I saw him near IT park at our spot one day, he looked like he was sick , he lost weight , his eyes are dry , he looked so pale . I saw him from a distance and I couldn’t believe my eyes , my baby looked so weak and sick , he was having a coffe and smoking a cig alone at the place we used to sit . My eyes teared up watching him , he looked so lonely . None of my friends knew we broke up because I cheated , he specifically asked me not to say anything to anyone . I didn’t speak to him that day , I couldn’t . I was full with guilt . After going home I called his friends and asked how he was and they said that they lost all contact with him and he is ghosting everybody . I broke him and also made him alone , I seriously considered killing myself but I was a coward . After a month , when I was in office , my mom got a diabities issue and fainted , my sister called him in a hurry , he came immediatiely and admitted mom in hospital , when I came there I saw him with a plastic cover with insulins for my mom . After my elder siter came , he left , he asked me to call with updates . Before leaving he asked me why I cheated , he said “ is it because I am not satisfying you “ or “ you wanted a emotial support “. when he said that , I just stood there , I can see his face , hiding a humiliation , I never had a sex issue with him , I loved being with him , but my baby asked me this , I felt ashamed . I couldn’t face him , I just stood there , he said never mind and left . I stood there seeing him leave ,but I didn’t give up , I started texting and snapping so much and somehow I made him talk to me normally , but his eyes has lost its color, he looks like he is tired of everything . After few days we both got drunk and alone , I kissed him as soon as I got the chance , he kissed me back too , usually when he kisses , he hold me ears , looks me in the eyes and kiss me , he did the same out of the habit , as soon as our eyes locked , he bursted out in tears , I truly felt how much this man loved me and how much I hurt him , he wanted to do more but he stopped himself , when he burst into tears, my heart completely broke , I hate myself so much , I hate my friends for fucking up my mind , I hate that guy . My man is gettting punished for giving everything to me , its been a year , he changed , he looks lean , unhealthy , I even think his hair is falling , almost like a zombie . I would glady kill myself for him , I just want him to be happy , I destroyed the only person I love , I see how devastating this can get for him, he looks so weak , I can’r accept it . I should’ve defended him when they joked about him . Its all my fault , its been a year and I still can;t go back to him , I can’t imagine another guy to raise my kids , I want him . Help me .

Hi guys! I've finally decided I want to bite the bullet and get myself a digi cam, likely for hobby use/taking better pictures with friends throughout my last year of uni. I'm a broke student though so I do want to make sure I'm getting the best value for my money and wondering which of the following cameras are the best! I'm buying secondhand off of facebook marketplace, they all seem to be in decent quality. Here's the options I'm weighing, I could totally use some feedback though!

• Sony Cybershot DSC-S980 for $140 CAD, the LCD has a few white streaks but the pictures turn out nice. This one is a really cute baby pink colour but I'm trying to not be swayed by aesthetics haha.
• Canon Powershot SD1100 for $150 CAD, seemed to be good for action shots according to reviews but I'm not trying to shoot anything too dynamic
• Canon Powershot SD450 for $150 CAD, didn't find much on this one
• Canon Powershot SD1300 for $150 CAD, when I looked at pre-existing reviews for this one online I like the way the pictures it takes turn out

Based on what I can find online, I'm leaning toward either the Sony or the Canon SD1300. I would love to hear some input from others though about which of these might be the most worth it!

My husband (M, 32) and I (F, 32) have been together for 10 years.
We eloped and didn’t invite any family to our wedding. We told them all after the fact, but it was just a casual “yeah, we got married.” No celebration. No party afterward. No social media announcement. Nothing. His excuse was that he doesn’t like several members of his family and to avoid it being awkward he rather just elope. Honestly, it didn’t really bother me much at the time because she’s my family is spread out and I also don’t really like being the center of attention anyway. I let myself think the spontaneity of it all and being just the two of us was fun and romantic. We don’t even have any photos of our wedding day.
Then when I got pregnant with our first baby, my husband wouldn’t tell anyone. He didn’t want me to tell anyone for months either, but he never really gave me a real reason. I was 5 months along and at the point where I wouldn’t be able to hide it for much longer when he texted his parents to tell them and asked them to tell everyone else.
I know his parents sort of wanted all of their kids to marry people for successful families, from the same world they’re from. They’re not one percenters or anything like that, but they’re from the “right side of town” you know? They’re from a certain segment of people in our city. I am not. My family lives in the poor area of town, although they’re hard workers and are educated (well, some of my extended family are essentially uneducated, unmotivated hillbillies, but my immediate family and my grandparents are not).
I went to college, but I got a useless degree. I didn’t know any better at the time. So I’m not rolling in money. I have an important job, but it’s very low paying. I don’t think I’m trashy or embarrassing or anything like that. I always thought I was physically cute, pretty. People used to tell me I was. Now, I feel like I must be ugly. I wonder if I always had a warped sense of self and am actually way less attractive than I thought I was.
Anyway, I don’t know if any of that is why my husband acts the way he does or what.
I feel like he wants to just sort of hide me away. He also never posts about me on social media. I don’t really care too much about social media, but I think it’s weird that he’s on Facebook and Instagram and never posts any photos of me or mentions of me ever, and we share children together!
He hates PDA, and that’s not a big deal because a lot of people hate that. But he’s uncomfortable even holding hands. One time he held my hand all weekend long and I remember feeling so happy - of course, we were on vacation on the opposite side of the country where nobody knew us. Coincidence, or no?
Trying to get some outside perspective. Does anyone else think his behavior is strange. He’s always been like this with me.
tl;dr: I think my husband is embarrassed by me and am looking for some outside perspective on whether his behavior suggests that or something else.

My husband and I have been together for 10 years. He’s 32 and I’m 30. We eloped and didn’t invite any family to our wedding. We told them all after the fact, but it was just a casual “yeah, we got married.” No celebration. No party afterward. No social media announcement. Nothing. His excuse was that he doesn’t like several members of his family and to avoid it being awkward he rather just elope. Honestly, it didn’t really bother me much at the time because she’s my family is spread out and I also don’t really like being the center of attention anyway. I let myself think the spontaneity of it all and being just the two of us was fun and romantic. We don’t even have any photos of our wedding day.
Then when I got pregnant with our first baby, my husband wouldn’t tell anyone. He didn’t want me to tell anyone for months either, but he never really gave me a real reason. I was 5 months along and at the point where I wouldn’t be able to hide it for much longer when he texted his parents to tell them and asked them to tell everyone else.
I know his parents sort of wanted all of their kids to marry people for successful families, from the same world they’re from. They’re not one percenters or anything like that, but they’re from the “right side of town” you know? They’re from a certain segment of people in our city. I am not. My family lives in the poor area of town, although they’re hard workers and are educated (well, some of my extended family are essentially uneducated, unmotivated hillbillies, but my immediate family and my grandparents are not).
I went to college, but I got a useless degree. I didn’t know any better at the time. So I’m not rolling in money. I have an important job, but it’s very low paying. I don’t think I’m trashy or embarrassing or anything like that. I always thought I was physically cute, pretty. People used to tell me I was. Now, I feel like I must be ugly. I wonder if I always had a warped sense of self and am actually way less attractive than I thought I was.
Anyway, I don’t know if any of that is why my husband acts the way he does or what.
I feel like he wants to just sort of hide me away. He also never posts about me on social media. I don’t really care too much about social media, but I think it’s weird that he’s on Facebook and Instagram and never posts any photos of me or mentions of me ever, and we share children together!
He hates PDA, and that’s not a big deal because a lot of people hate that. But he’s uncomfortable even holding hands. One time he held my hand all weekend long and I remember feeling so happy - of course, we were on vacation on the opposite side of the country where nobody knew us. Coincidence, or no?
Trying to get some outside perspective. Does anyone else think his behavior is strange. He’s always been like this with me.

I was scrolling on my facebook when I saw a memory where we played this hilarious game but I can't seem to remember. It has chibi animations where you play various mini games, and there's ranking from A to F depending on how you played. It says "ready go" in a cute voice before you start. In the video played, there's a lot of fast tapping. If you lost your lives during the game, there's a grown man shouting. I remember it was popular around 2014 or 2015, I can't say what year exactly, but it's around these years.

WHOOO boy, this has been in the back burner on my mind for YEARS.
Context: I am (female) now married to the boyfriend mentioned in the title; he'll be referred to as "Mack."
My friend (male) will be named as "Nick" and is serving in the military (can't say what part as it's too specific).
My husband's High School friend shall be dubbed "Cassie."
At the time of both back story and main event, we were all in our early to mid 20s.
Backstory: I met my military friend, Nick, through a friend in college during a video chat; they were into each other and I had been mentioned as a good friend, so I went over to their dorm and met him then. Nick and I became close friends by having much in common, including anime, and talking on the phone any time he could, late into the night. At one point, I had developed a crush on him, but kept it to myself. The friend who introduced us had already moved on into dating someone else, preferring someone being physically there, but it still felt weird.
After about a year of this, Nick was home on leave and wanted to meet in person for the first time. He lived in the same state as me, though it was a 3 hour drive; it was December and therefore snowy, but I went and stayed the night. It turned out that, according to Nick, he also had a crush on me, even declaring he had started falling in love with me, saying I was even cuter in person. I internally shared the sentiment, although by this point in time, I had accumulated a couple red flags.
After this trip, though, I knew it wouldn't be wise to date him, even though I wanted to give in; it would've been so easy to transition from friends to lovers (lol, fave trope). However, the biggest no-no for me was when Nick said,
"I met this girl Cassie through her uncle at comic con and she's really into me. I don't find her attractive at all, but if you aren't going to date me, I will date her."
My gasters were flabbed and I wasn't sure if this was supposed to be a threat, a promise, negging, or all three combined. What I was sure of was how manipulative this was, especially after I near begged him not to date this girl if he didn't even wanna look at her! Nick remained standing on his self-destructive pedestal that if I refused him, he'd go desperate mode and date Cassie instead, because at least SHE made it clear that she was SUPER into him. In the end, I went home disappointed in Nick's choices and feeling much less attracted to him than before.
Main Event: Cut to early spring of the next year; my dating life was still not really going anywhere, and my work was exhausting me. I'd worked basically 10 hour shifts 14 days straight and I was collapsing as I walked. I got a text from Nick (who was still in town and officially dating Cassie), and said he wanted me to meet Cassie's High School best friend, Mack. He swore I would marry this dude and that we were meant to be, which, despite my exhaust-smoke-addled brain, seemed to be an outrageous claim. He said he's meeting Mack later that afternoon and said I should hop by after work (I was easily a 45 minute drive from my work to the restaurant).
By this point I had gotten confirmation that this other guy I was crushing on wasn't looking for a steady relationship, let alone with me, and I thought, "Why the heckity heck not?" So I went home, got dressed in something casual and cute, and went off to meet in a blind date with this dude Mack... It was so awkward. (That's another fun story all on its own ;))
Fast forward to later in the year, around fall. Mack and I were hanging out and were texting with Cassie, whom I didn't really like in the end, because she was so aggressive; there's extravert, then there's THIS. I thought she was attractive and nice, and clearly cared for her friends, so I wasn't sure why Nick didn't (read: refused to) like her... Other than her rather loud straightforwardness bordering on uncomfortable to be with her in public. But he maintained that he was going to date her (and even marry her, maybe!!). Dude was leading her on, no bueno.
By this point, I was getting tired of Cassie's clear jealousy of me being his best friend (although I wouldn't have considering us being so after December, I still knew him rather well, and that made her feel threatened). I'd gotten to my breaking point of her complaining about why he doesn't kiss her or go down on her or really put anything out like she does. I knew he could do any of those things if he wanted to, even if he was a more reserved person than her.
She surprised him by flying over to Virginia where he had a near-empty apartment, really only having a futon and a table from the pics I saw. It was then and there that they finally did the do, of which I wish she didn't give me details about; knowing what I know of his feelings and attractions (or lack thereof) towards her, it was just painful to hear and I felt sympathy for her. And probably pity, let's be honest. Nobody should go through that.
So I did an a-hole thing and called Nick to ask him about his and Cassie's communication issues that Cassie told Mack and I about. He seemed both amused and furious that she was speaking to us so openly about their relationship problems, enough for me to tell him how uncomfortable I was with it and how she complains about their communication issues. (Yes, I am the a-hole for this, I'm aware; I hated and still hate confrontation and I didn't feel safe around Cassie to tell her as much myself.) He actually called her right after I spoke to him on the phone, and I was freaking out; I didn't think he was going to confront her right then about everything! I'd made it worse!!
About a couple hours later, Cassie sent Mack and I what looked like a limerick-style friendship breakup text, stating how we broke her trust and stuff. Well, it was me, not Mack, but I guess package deal and all that.
(I can only laugh at my naivete now.) I thought what I did was better than trying to tell her that Nick really didn't like her, not that she would believe me anyway and chalk it up to jealousy. (Girl, no, I had an opportunity and I said nay nay for a reason!) In the end, what I did was not good; still, years later, I wonder if there was a way I could've told her that he was basically just using her as a backup because I refused to date him. Am I the a-hole for not telling Cassie that Nick was really not into her?
After Story:
Nick and Cassie ended up getting married about a year or so after this all happened. Mack and I found out on Facebook, as I was no longer was friends with Nick or Cassie, and Mack wasn't friends with Cassie anymore because of me. The groom still looked as miserable in the pics as he did when they were first dating, but dashing, while the bride was beautiful, blushing and ecstatic. They may or may not have any children, I don't know. I got rid of my Facebook after it had been hacked into, so I haven't stalked anyone. And I kinda don't want to, so there's that.
Mack and I were happily married two years after this debacle and are now trying for a baby! We dated on and off during those two years, but after our small, final break, we realized we really do love each other and we're meant to be! I guess Nick was right about one thing, and truly hope he's learning to love Cassie... And not buying anything from the scammer overtaking my Facebook!
END

Ok, so I'm going to college as a freshman this fall. Right now, my tech plans are to get a moderately dumb smart phone, and rely on my laptop since I want to use it more than my phone. My current smart phone is starting to approach the end of its life (its battery is failing 8() and since I'm just getting tossed money by relatives to look cute in a robe, I want to get my stuff together.
Right now, I'm looking at the z flips a lot, because I love flip phones, but it's too smart. It's like a college professor who sells my data, when all I want is a nice secretary. My biggest gripe is that it comes with all those heinous pre installed apps, like google and facebook, which are my biggest enemy. I actively want to strangle them both. So I guess basically all I want is a smartish flippy phone that I can actually customize, instead of being forcefully handed chrome and unable to uninstall it. Thanks if you have any suggestions or tips 8) - BB

Platform(s): Web, PC, maybe from Facebook
Genre: Action, Strategy
Estimated year of release: 2001-2015
Graphics/art style: Cute, anime like, somewhat similar to the graphics from Mobile Game Arcana Tactics
Notable characters: At the start, you get to control a bunch of high level heroes who each began to unleash their ultimate skills, I think they were a priestess, a dwarf, elf, warrior against the Demon King who withstood all their attacks easily.
Notable gameplay mechanics: I think it was a rpg game where you pick an action per hero.
Other details: I dunno if it was on facebook or a mobile game possibly but I recall playing it as a child. At the start, you command a group of heroes with a priestess to fight the demon king but ultimately, he withstood all of it before defeating the heroes. You get sent to the past and encounter the demon king again but instead of fighting you, he sends his minions that I think were mainly skeletons and they each had a speech bubble like "Yes My Lord" before replacing the demon king who said he was too busy, lazy or had other things to do.

And it felt good!
A cute guy from a dating site starting texting me and we communicated well with each other so I said what the heck, why not talk on the phone. We did and ended up talking for an hour! . He said he wanted to take personal time off to come stay with me for a weekend! He lives 4 hours away! I told him no way and explained how terrified I am of ever meeting someone in person after what happened with you. He agreed to no sex and said he'd just like to walk at the lake or something, but I can't have him do that.
I don't feel the magic with him like I do with you, but I will admit that he's a better conversationalist. He does tend to hog the conversation like most men do, but he asks me a lot of questions. He also thinks he's really handsome. Confession: I think he looks a bit like you when you were younger. That's why I originally liked him. . Anyway, we just exchanged Facebooks. I told him about my weight upfront and he said it's no big deal but I'm not falling for that again. Guys are such liars. Especially you.
I'm really proud of myself for talking to this guy tonight. It's definitely a confidence booster. He sent me pics of himself and his parents. I sent him selfies and he said I'm pretty. I have a hard time believing that after what happened with you. I think I will never trust a man again.
I hope this guy doesn't get too attached to me because I'm not going to get attached anymore. I honestly just want a new friend. He wants to cuddle and such. I think it sounds nice. I'd cuddle a friend.
Honestly, it was just nice to have a man's attention tonight. It did make me miss our connection but he was honestly easier to talk to. There was more back and forth and more laughing because he jokes more.
He's sensitive about being friend zoned so I hope this doesn't turn out bad ...he says the last two girls didn't like him like that...
I don't see a future. I can't, and I feel crappy about that. I mean, I can't see a future with anyone but you. I'm afraid you ruined me and turned me cold.

How the heck do you know when a guy is into you? I've dated both guys and gals, but I've never been good at figuring out if a guy is into me or not.
I'll try to make this short. I'm from a small ski resort town. I used to teach skiing and my locker was next to this guy who I loved hanging out with pretransition. He was awesome, and I totally had a crush on him back then. Life happened, and we didn't talk for like 10 years. I transitioned and broke up with my ex. Ski instructor guy added me on Facebook a while back and we've been chatting online here and there.
Fast foreward: Yesterday, I get a call from him while talking about music on fb. We caught up with each other, and I find out there's a chance that he may move to a place a few blocks from me with another trans person who is a mutual friend of ours (also if you're reading this and figure it out, don't tell him). During our covo he tells me how much he's always admired my positive spirit, and recalls jokes from ages ago, along with some really trivial stuff. He even made a point to emphasize that i can call him whenever, even if its just to have someone to scream to. I realized during the convo that my crush never went away, and I found myself scrolling through his pics, and he's exactly the type of guy that I like. Gruff outdoorsy punk.
Here's the thing, I am not a first move person with guys. I way prefer being asked out, but in this case I dunno. I don't even know if he would consider dating me, and I don't really know how to move forward.
Any advice from the 4 people that see this?
Tldr: cute guy from home town, don't know if he's into me, want him to be into me.