Birthday present for boyfriend of two months
Elden Bling
2019.06.17 17:59 Keep_on_keepin Elden Bling
Elden Bling celebrates the niche community of fashion enthusiasts and those invested in the cosmetic and customizable aspects of the Lands Between. This is a hub for players to show off their stylish Elden Ring characters, whether it be for their bling (equipment) and/or their character creation sliders.
2012.07.22 13:32 omasque A subreddit for commissions!
Artists/writers/musicians/animators/etc. can advertise their services/commissions here. Buyers can request specific things they'd like to buy. A few reminders: ❥ All [For Hire] posts must state a price. ❥ All [Hiring] posts must state a budget. ❥ Do not post more than one [For Hire] post per 24 hours. See the side bar for clarification and details!
2017.11.14 19:17 JohnGenericDoe Don't help, just keep filming
A subreddit for situations where the cameraperson would rather film than assist
2024.05.15 23:02 Ok-Jaguar-46 I went no contact with my Father.
So I, F24, made the decision at Thanksgiving to go no-contact with my Father, and both sides of my family, maternal and paternal, have been guilt-tripping me non-stop for this decision for months. However, none of them know or understand the circumstances leading up to this decision. (This is long one, but context is important to understand why I no longer with to associate with him)
First, we have to go back to when I was a kid. During my childhood my dad was just a dude who lived in our house and ate all our snacks. He barely interacted with us, save for taking me to the occasional Harry Potter or Marvel movie. He missed my softball games, my volleyball games, my basketball games, my school events such as choir recitals, plays, etc. not because of work (which I would understand) but to instead play Warhammer and paint little figurines for the game. He was also emotionally volatile and abusive. On several occasions he slapped me across the face and numerous times called me "as dumb as a monkey" and even one time called me an "ogre."
Shit ultimately hit the metaphorical fan when I was 16, and I discovered (on my 16th birthday, yeah, literally on the day I turned 16) that my mother was cheating on my father. From there, family life spiraled. At the time, I was very angry with my mother, and while I still disagree with how she handled the situation, she was very much a "married-single-mother." She took care of all the household chores, mowed and watered the lawn, walked and fed the dogs, cooked dinner, coached my softball games, attended me and my brother's events, all on top of being a full-time high-school teacher. I can't blame her for trying to seek emotional connection with someone else when none of her emotional needs were being met by her husband.
Now, after my mother's cheating was revealed, my father went off the rails. Especially when he began to notice I quickly reconciled with my mom, and for obvious reasons, chose to live with her. As she was quite literally, the only parent I had. I still had a relationship with my father, but it become tense. It all boiled over a few months later when on Easter, my brother and I came back from my mom's newly minted apartment a few minutes away, to an empty home with pills all over the counter and floor (I'll let you fill in the blanks of what he did). After I called my mom, she called the nearest hospital and found out my father had been taken there to be treated.
This left me scarred emotionally for months, as a few weeks before when I was staying at my father's house alone, he woke 16-year-old me up in the middle of the night and told me to take all his pills away. I'd told no one about it, and kept it to myself out of pure fear and being a child put in a situation beyond her years. After the event, my father refused to speak about it, refused to acknowledge what his actions had done to me and my brother, and as a result, I emotionally disconnected from him completely.
He sensed this disconnection, and instead of trying to apologize or take responsibility, he attacked the relationship with my mother. He did many things like texting me to tell on her, but the most egregious thing he did was show my naked photos of my own mother - including a photo of her vagina - while telling me she was a dirty whore for sending photos to men. From that point, I refused to go over to his house and stay there alone with him. I never told anyone about what he did (at least not for a few years, until I finally told my mother what he'd done when I was 23). We maintained contact, but from that point on the relationship was tanked in my mind. I was only nice and only attended holidays to maintain appearances, and in hindsight, out of fear of his retaliation.
Well, finally, after moving back home from college (to which even failed to congratulate me) I decided I had enough of the niceties and the pageantries, and no longer wanted to deal with him. Ever since I told him I no longer wanted to speak with him or have contact, he's been speaking to almost every member of our family with a sob story, including my maternal grandmother. With each family member he speaks too, all of them call me or text me telling me to "Give him a chance" or to "be fair to him." Each time I tell them I've made my decision, I've been told I'm being an asshole for holding the past over his head. So here we are.
I guess I just wanted to vent and get this off my chest. If you took the time to read, thank you, I really appreciate it :)
submitted by Ok-Jaguar-46 to nocontact [link] [comments]
First, we have to go back to when I was a kid. During my childhood my dad was just a dude who lived in our house and ate all our snacks. He barely interacted with us, save for taking me to the occasional Harry Potter or Marvel movie. He missed my softball games, my volleyball games, my basketball games, my school events such as choir recitals, plays, etc. not because of work (which I would understand) but to instead play Warhammer and paint little figurines for the game. He was also emotionally volatile and abusive. On several occasions he slapped me across the face and numerous times called me "as dumb as a monkey" and even one time called me an "ogre."
Shit ultimately hit the metaphorical fan when I was 16, and I discovered (on my 16th birthday, yeah, literally on the day I turned 16) that my mother was cheating on my father. From there, family life spiraled. At the time, I was very angry with my mother, and while I still disagree with how she handled the situation, she was very much a "married-single-mother." She took care of all the household chores, mowed and watered the lawn, walked and fed the dogs, cooked dinner, coached my softball games, attended me and my brother's events, all on top of being a full-time high-school teacher. I can't blame her for trying to seek emotional connection with someone else when none of her emotional needs were being met by her husband.
Now, after my mother's cheating was revealed, my father went off the rails. Especially when he began to notice I quickly reconciled with my mom, and for obvious reasons, chose to live with her. As she was quite literally, the only parent I had. I still had a relationship with my father, but it become tense. It all boiled over a few months later when on Easter, my brother and I came back from my mom's newly minted apartment a few minutes away, to an empty home with pills all over the counter and floor (I'll let you fill in the blanks of what he did). After I called my mom, she called the nearest hospital and found out my father had been taken there to be treated.
This left me scarred emotionally for months, as a few weeks before when I was staying at my father's house alone, he woke 16-year-old me up in the middle of the night and told me to take all his pills away. I'd told no one about it, and kept it to myself out of pure fear and being a child put in a situation beyond her years. After the event, my father refused to speak about it, refused to acknowledge what his actions had done to me and my brother, and as a result, I emotionally disconnected from him completely.
He sensed this disconnection, and instead of trying to apologize or take responsibility, he attacked the relationship with my mother. He did many things like texting me to tell on her, but the most egregious thing he did was show my naked photos of my own mother - including a photo of her vagina - while telling me she was a dirty whore for sending photos to men. From that point, I refused to go over to his house and stay there alone with him. I never told anyone about what he did (at least not for a few years, until I finally told my mother what he'd done when I was 23). We maintained contact, but from that point on the relationship was tanked in my mind. I was only nice and only attended holidays to maintain appearances, and in hindsight, out of fear of his retaliation.
Well, finally, after moving back home from college (to which even failed to congratulate me) I decided I had enough of the niceties and the pageantries, and no longer wanted to deal with him. Ever since I told him I no longer wanted to speak with him or have contact, he's been speaking to almost every member of our family with a sob story, including my maternal grandmother. With each family member he speaks too, all of them call me or text me telling me to "Give him a chance" or to "be fair to him." Each time I tell them I've made my decision, I've been told I'm being an asshole for holding the past over his head. So here we are.
I guess I just wanted to vent and get this off my chest. If you took the time to read, thank you, I really appreciate it :)
2024.05.15 23:02 PaperProsecutorSlate Motif: Green and Orange (In that order)
-104. The Alliance - Angela says green is "whorish". She later levies an identical accusation against orange in 310. A Benihana Christmas (1/2).
-418. Goodbye Toby (1/2) - An Italy-themed leaflet bears the tricolor green-white-orange, despite Italy's flag being green-white-red.
-524. Heavy Competition - Michael talks about color-coding his information, citing only green and orange as examples, in that order.
-916. Moving On - Clark, whose full name is "Clark Green" according to the NBC website, is referred to as "Clarkwork Orange" by Andy.
-924. Finale (1/2) - Pam's mural for an Irish cultural center is shown. The Irish flag in the mural is angled such that the orange bar should be on the left and the green bar on the right. Despite this, Pam still drew it with green on the left and orange on the right.
Tentative examples:
-218. Take Your Daughter to Work Day - On Pam's "WELCOME DAUGHTERS!" sign, the first of the two words is blue-green and the second is orange-yellow. Most of the first word is blue, but some of its edges are distinctly green.
-419. Goodbye Toby (2/2) - Two snack tables at the party are isolated from the others and are in more shots. The one on the left has a green cover and the one on the right has an orange cover. However, some of the other tables also have green and orange covers in no particular arrangement.
There's likely a link between this motif and the motif of Ireland that's also present in the show, considering the aforementioned flag.
submitted by PaperProsecutorSlate to AntiStranglingTF [link] [comments]
-418. Goodbye Toby (1/2) - An Italy-themed leaflet bears the tricolor green-white-orange, despite Italy's flag being green-white-red.
-524. Heavy Competition - Michael talks about color-coding his information, citing only green and orange as examples, in that order.
-916. Moving On - Clark, whose full name is "Clark Green" according to the NBC website, is referred to as "Clarkwork Orange" by Andy.
-924. Finale (1/2) - Pam's mural for an Irish cultural center is shown. The Irish flag in the mural is angled such that the orange bar should be on the left and the green bar on the right. Despite this, Pam still drew it with green on the left and orange on the right.
Tentative examples:
-218. Take Your Daughter to Work Day - On Pam's "WELCOME DAUGHTERS!" sign, the first of the two words is blue-green and the second is orange-yellow. Most of the first word is blue, but some of its edges are distinctly green.
-419. Goodbye Toby (2/2) - Two snack tables at the party are isolated from the others and are in more shots. The one on the left has a green cover and the one on the right has an orange cover. However, some of the other tables also have green and orange covers in no particular arrangement.
2024.05.15 23:00 Senior_Appeal_7165 AITAH for not helping my mom grow her Instagram account?
My middle-aged mom reposts inspirational videos on her Instagram. She does it all the time because she wants to earn some money from this thing. Now, we're doing fine financially from her day-job. She has a staple income source form that job and we have a nice roof above our head.
However, she always wants more money; it's apparent with her being obsessed with winning the lottery and her trying to force me one time to find two dollar bills with a specific set of number to earn 6 figures selling them. We have a 0.001% chance of actually finding those specific dollar bills. Now, she wants to earn money from reels.
Her reels are not that great. She mainly just adds dumb gifs on top of the videos and types text filled with spelling mistakes (she's an immigrant parent). Those text boxes can even cover people's faces because to her, "Their faces don't matter." What kind of video reposter does that?
She's only been doing this for a few months and has like 620 followers. I could potentially help with this. I am a pretty good editor, and I could probably spend some time learning how to do reels for her.
The problem is, I have a lot of other stuff I need to do. For instance, I'm going to spend my summer vacation (I'm a high school student) learning Spanish. I'm Latino and my mom has been trying to get me to learn it for years. For various reasons, I don't learn it when I was younger and never made the best effort to learn it later on. She's implied her frustration with me not learning sooner. Now, I have nearly an entire summer to learn it. With a lot of time and focus, I know I can learn a lot of Spanish.
In addition, I want to spend my non-Spanish time watching various anime shows and playing various video games. Up until recently, I avoided a lot of popular media because I saw it as pointless. Up until a few months ago, l was mainly focused on just "learning, learning, learning." I also hated playing video games and saw anime as kind of weird. I finally broke free and learned to just relax and not be obsessed with learning like Mark from Peep Show.
This summer is my chance to consume this media because I've been swamped in schoolwork. I have a lot of interest in this media: I feel like mvself when I have the brief chance to consume it. Consuming this media also allows for me to connect with more people. In high school, I've made friends with various people, but I know that those relationships could be strengthen if I consumed more of their favorite media, stuff I'm actually really interested in checking out.
I don't want to spend lots of time in my day making several reels for my mom to make pennies on Instagram. I sound selfish, but ! want to just focus on me. We're ok financially. This is not an emergency. What do I do in this case? I'm thinking of just teaching my mom some CapCut editing tricks and how to screen record to make slightly better reels to solve this, but if I have this ability to edit why not use it? I'm at a crossroads. Thanks
submitted by Senior_Appeal_7165 to AITAH [link] [comments]
However, she always wants more money; it's apparent with her being obsessed with winning the lottery and her trying to force me one time to find two dollar bills with a specific set of number to earn 6 figures selling them. We have a 0.001% chance of actually finding those specific dollar bills. Now, she wants to earn money from reels.
Her reels are not that great. She mainly just adds dumb gifs on top of the videos and types text filled with spelling mistakes (she's an immigrant parent). Those text boxes can even cover people's faces because to her, "Their faces don't matter." What kind of video reposter does that?
She's only been doing this for a few months and has like 620 followers. I could potentially help with this. I am a pretty good editor, and I could probably spend some time learning how to do reels for her.
The problem is, I have a lot of other stuff I need to do. For instance, I'm going to spend my summer vacation (I'm a high school student) learning Spanish. I'm Latino and my mom has been trying to get me to learn it for years. For various reasons, I don't learn it when I was younger and never made the best effort to learn it later on. She's implied her frustration with me not learning sooner. Now, I have nearly an entire summer to learn it. With a lot of time and focus, I know I can learn a lot of Spanish.
In addition, I want to spend my non-Spanish time watching various anime shows and playing various video games. Up until recently, I avoided a lot of popular media because I saw it as pointless. Up until a few months ago, l was mainly focused on just "learning, learning, learning." I also hated playing video games and saw anime as kind of weird. I finally broke free and learned to just relax and not be obsessed with learning like Mark from Peep Show.
This summer is my chance to consume this media because I've been swamped in schoolwork. I have a lot of interest in this media: I feel like mvself when I have the brief chance to consume it. Consuming this media also allows for me to connect with more people. In high school, I've made friends with various people, but I know that those relationships could be strengthen if I consumed more of their favorite media, stuff I'm actually really interested in checking out.
I don't want to spend lots of time in my day making several reels for my mom to make pennies on Instagram. I sound selfish, but ! want to just focus on me. We're ok financially. This is not an emergency. What do I do in this case? I'm thinking of just teaching my mom some CapCut editing tricks and how to screen record to make slightly better reels to solve this, but if I have this ability to edit why not use it? I'm at a crossroads. Thanks
2024.05.15 23:00 BookkeeperOk6467 Micromanagement of work “done”
My boss has me log all of my work into my Outlook calendar and share it with her. Not just appointments and meetings – all of the work that I do. This gives me a lot of anxiety. (I have an anxiety disorder which I have disclosed). This gave me a lot of anxiety a few months ago, my boss said “ let’s unpack that” and it seemed pretty clear to me that that conversation would go nowhere. So for a few months, I didn’t log my work into Outlook, or did not do so consistently.
We also have a two week old text group where we make a list of everything we’ve done at the end of the day. I hate texting my thumbs just really suck at it. Boss said that we need to be in constant communication throughout the day, particularly on remote days (role is hybrid). Five is the max I can list without getting really anxious. I don’t like making stuff up, and sometimes it’s hard to quantify what I’ve done in a day. It makes me feel very monitored and also show we’re making progress towards departmental goals, my colleague inflates the works. She’s done in the day, but she is BFFs with the boss, so not sure what matter anyway I’m quite sure there’s a pip on the horizon after a conversation today about our upcoming end of the year evaluations, and at least some of it would be around that it seems.
For reference, I’m an admin in a teaching center at a university. This is boss number four in two years. No other bosses required this.
I need a reality check. Is this normal and how bad is this in terms of micromanagement on a scale of 1-10?
submitted by BookkeeperOk6467 to work [link] [comments]
We also have a two week old text group where we make a list of everything we’ve done at the end of the day. I hate texting my thumbs just really suck at it. Boss said that we need to be in constant communication throughout the day, particularly on remote days (role is hybrid). Five is the max I can list without getting really anxious. I don’t like making stuff up, and sometimes it’s hard to quantify what I’ve done in a day. It makes me feel very monitored and also show we’re making progress towards departmental goals, my colleague inflates the works. She’s done in the day, but she is BFFs with the boss, so not sure what matter anyway I’m quite sure there’s a pip on the horizon after a conversation today about our upcoming end of the year evaluations, and at least some of it would be around that it seems.
For reference, I’m an admin in a teaching center at a university. This is boss number four in two years. No other bosses required this.
I need a reality check. Is this normal and how bad is this in terms of micromanagement on a scale of 1-10?
2024.05.15 23:00 leodanger66 Milestone birthday
I have a big birthday this year and two weeks off of work. I can't decide a vacation spot to celebrate and would love some help. Definite no's are cruises or camping. I'd like to keep the overall bill under $3k for two people (travel and accommodations), but can move a bit on that if it's tempting enough. I'm open to beaches, but am a nerd at heart, so would need more to do. My goal is to feel like I've escaped my day-today obligations completely.
submitted by leodanger66 to Vacations [link] [comments]
2024.05.15 22:59 Forsaken-Fan-1934 Is there a scam where the scammer moves in?
Throwaway account. I lived with my brother who has a boyfriend he met online (who I had no idea even existed before last week). This boyfriend showed up at the house out of the blue and is now suddenly moving in. My brother went from acting like the unexpected visit was inconvenient and saying "he's just visiting and can't stay long because he has a job he has to go back to" to telling me that he isn't leaving and is just going to live here now in less than a week. This boyfriend left in the middle of the night to drive a long distance to come here without asking my brother first as far as I know. It doesn't seem like he speaks much english (my brother speaks two languages because he went to university in a different country). When I tried making conversation I asked his boyfriend what he does for work and he told me something different than what he told my brother. My brother acted like that wasn't concerning. His boyfriend also looks a lot older than the age my brother told me. I don't want to give too many details because my brother uses reddit but everything about it is suspicious to me. I don't think there ever was a job for the boyfriend to go back to. He moved here with no belongings and has none that he intends to bring. I don't think he ever intended on leaving in the first place. We live in a rural area where there isn't an abundance of jobs for people that don't speak english or spanish. My brother makes a lot of money and we live in a LCOL area. He refuses to answer any questions about this man including his name and the only things I know about their relationship is that they met online less than a year ago and only met once in person before this which I also didn't know about. It was like pulling teeth to even get him to tell me that. I can't ask the boyfriend many questions either because of the language barrier and because he avoids me at all costs and will not come out of my brother's bedroom if I'm home. Our parents are very religious and conservative and don't know my brother is gay so I can't tell them about it. Nobody in his life knows about this relationship but me, and the whole situation is pushing us apart to the point that I moved out ASAP when it became clear he wasn't/isn't going to tell me anything and just expected me to live with a stranger. He doesn't really have many friends here besides me. He's never been this secretive before, like he can't even tell his sibling who he lives with his boyfriend's name? Suspicious af. He's never been in a relationship before this and I think someone in his position is very easy to take advantage of, and it only seems to be isolating him further. I did consider that his secrecy around the relationship could be because of internalized homophobia but I'm bisexual and he knows this, and I've known he was gay since we were teenagers so I don't think that would be his reason for being this private about it. I told some of my friends the details and they are convinced his boyfriend is a cryptoscammer. I read about what those kind of scams/romance scams usually entail but it doesn't seem like any of them ever meet in person or end up moving in. Does anyone know if there is a scam where the scammer moves in? He won't tell me anything and I'm really concerned.
submitted by Forsaken-Fan-1934 to Scams [link] [comments]
2024.05.15 22:59 Objective-Look-6278 Im done
I'm so miserable. I don't have the iman to wake up for Fajr or pray any of my prayers, and I have no hope in Allah currently. I haven't been able to change even when trying to learn Allah's names and making dua (not consistently). For two years, I haven't been able to change. I'm struggling with addictions from gaming to time waste. I have no discipline, wallahi. I have only prayed half-heartedly. I had a good period for like two weeks in the past six months where I felt close to Allah and cried. I thought it was mercy and the time I would change, but I went back to my habits. I'm a failure and I'm done with life.
submitted by Objective-Look-6278 to islam [link] [comments]
2024.05.15 22:59 Cheap_Translator2011 Is it really an ED? [TW: Weight mentioned]
I wanted to ask here before I went to a professional because I know I am having issues, but it revolves around food and I can't seem to find any information on what I specifically have. I'm female, 5'2, and currently range from 122 lbs as my lowest every month to 136 when I'm on my period, but the weight instantly goes away. I am at a good weight for my height, slightly increasing towards being overweight, but my fat is distributed pretty well so I have zero body image issues. My problem is that although I do not worry about my weight, I refuse to eat. This current guy I'm seeing noticed that I only seem to eat when I'm with him and it's not every single time we hang out either. I'll eat once every few days, and it's usually in tiny portions/small meals. I can't buy groceries without letting fruits and vegetables rot, meat sitting in the freezer for weeks, and even having cranberry juice somehow ferment in my kitchen cabinets. Until about two weeks ago, I noticed bad breath which is something I never dealt with in my entire life, a lot of brain fog, dry mouth, and an increased amount of sleepiness. I've looked up these symptoms and it all leads to ketosis. But whenever I look up anything on ED's, it always revolves around anorexia, bulimia, or a third one I cannot remember but I know I don't have the exact "qualifications" for any of them. I am still at an average weight for my height with no negative image of my body, yet I refuse to eat anything. Could it be that I am refusing to acknowledge a negative body image in some way? Or is something else preventing me from eating? I started doing activities like rock climbing and have felt some weakness in my arms increase every time I go which seems to be another sign of ketosis. Is it really an eating disorder, or could something possibly be causing me to refuse food? I'm not looking for any medical advice on here, I want to hear your opinions and if it really is an eating disorder of some sort, and possibly any recommendations of online doctors or professionals you know of that I can possibly talk to in order to get a real diagnosis. Thank you!
submitted by Cheap_Translator2011 to EDAnonymous [link] [comments]
2024.05.15 22:58 Longjumping_Walk_992 GF with BPD asked for space so I ended it.
When they start pulling away that’s a huge sign the discard is imminent. It doesn’t matter what reason they give for it, look at their actions. You can’t trust their words only their actions.
In my relationship experience with my gf, we were on and off for five years and cycled back over a dozen times. I’ve been hit with blind sided discards throughout the years. Usually the discards happened when I thought things were at their best in the relationship and we were having our most closest and intimate times together. I loved her but my heart had hardened over the years and it morphed into a challenge and experiment for me as I am very interested in human psychology. The last three break ups were all initiated by me after I saw set boundaries bulldozed through by her.
In the past, I would have lingered and waited for the axe to fall not believing she would or could actually leave. Now armed with all this hard learned experience, I prepared and waited for her next hoover. Sure enough she came back each time. Sometimes after much more added betrayal. Sometimes she would monkey branch, she would never admit to it but I would usually find out months or years after the fact. She was great at keeping secrets and sneaking around and telling lies. This last time was more of an experiment for me. Her trigger after the love bombing stage and first discard was sexual intimacy which invoked emotional intimacy. Usually right after an intimate encounter she would either start a nonsensical fight and use my reaction as a reason to leave or would just disappear and ghost.
I’ve struggled with does she only have an avoidant attachment style or is there a cluster B disorder also at play. I really think it is BPD with covert NPD traits combined with an avoidant attachment style forming a mental trifecta; a relationship disaster. I knew this last time wouldn’t work. A zebra can’t change its stripes.
She contacted me again to get back together again. I played hard to get trying to decide if I really wanted this or not. I demanded numerous boundaries be agreed to before I would agree trying again. I pushed her so far away, I thought she might just say never mind but when I saw her reaching her limit, I relented and accepted her back with many boundaries in place. I told myself if these were broke I was done and I would leave. One important boundary was being blocked on social media. She would always keep me blocked on FB and other platforms while we were in a relationship. I felt it was to shield her harem from knowing about me and me knowing about them and what she was doing. She kept other ex’s as friends on FB and actually went back to him after we broke up on two occasions.
I often wondered if we put off having sex could we build a stronger foundation and have a longer lasting relationship. I also didn’t want physical intimacy to cloud my judgement and give me false feelings of love. So we both decided to not be intimate right away and just date and put an emphasis on building a friendship and getting close with out sex. Things were great in the beginning. She was trying hard. She opened up in ways I had always wanted. Some of those were because of boundaries I set in the beginning. I got to meet her family and friends. I saw a lot of the same cluster B behaviors in others close to her and her family members from suicide to serial cheating, multiple and short lived relationships etc…
Slowly I could see the mental fatigue on her face. She began struggling about two months in. We decided to plan a weekend getaway and be intimate. I put down deposits on an Airbnb and made plans. She started an argument the week of the trip. Her issue was that I offered to bring her to my gym as a guest so we could do something healthy together and bond. She just thought that was the worst idea ever. During the argument she also told me she could be talking to someone else instead. She then kicked me out of her house. I thought that was the end of the experiment. In the past any conflict no matter how mild would have been reason enough for her to break up.
Low in behold, I was truly surprised, I woke up to a good morning text from her apologizing saying she was not running away and I was her person and she loved me. She stated she still didn’t feel comfortable going on the trip. I lost deposits. I later questioned her about who she was referring to she could be talking to instead. She said she never could have said that as it would have been mean to say.
Fast forward approximately two months later the old argument about the gym was brought up again by her. It didn’t get to the same level of being kicked out of her house. I kept my cool and just gray rocked her and didn’t react. I just affirmed her and said ok. It seemed to give her some relief and not escalate things. We decided to plan a weekend at a casino where we would spend the night. This went off without a hitch. We had a great time and we were very intimate and had great sex. Afterwards laying in bed enjoying the afterglow, she commented this was never our problem. I asked what was our problem, she said it was her running away. She promised to never do that again. The next day we went her parents house for Sunday dinner. Things were great, she seemed so in love with me. I was elated. We were walking into her parents side entrance when I noticed how happy she was and I commented someone looks like they are in love. She turned around and looked at me with the strangest face. Almost like fear. I was taken aback but didn’t say anything as we were walking into her parents house and then greeted everyone. It was like a switch had just flipped. She became distant and quiet. I didn’t see her again until the following sunday. She gave excuses about having to work a night shift that was at first going to alternate every other day to nightly. At the end of the week she invited back to her parents house for dinner. She still texted but I didn’t receive any phone calls and the texts contained less affectionate terms and only offered up I loves you’s only after I did first.
While at her parents house her mother asked if I was going to her birthday party the next night at a restaurant. I said I would love to but I didn’t know anything about it. She gave her mom a wtf look and then said let’s see how he acts first. Me and her mother both looked at each other and laughed. The next night I show up at her house to pick her and her teenage daughter up who had been committed for attempting suicide in the past for the purpose of going to her mother’s bday party.
Two days in the future was Valentine’s Day, I asked what restaurant would she like to go too. She was like I don’t won’t to go out and gave a reason as the restaurants would be to busy but after my persistent questioning she offered possibly a lunch instead and said she would let me know. I dropped it as she was getting visibly angered. This was totally out of character because she always liked going out to busy places where live music and beer was had. I said ok and we continued on to the party. We were at a restaurant and normally she sits right beside me thigh to thigh and she would keep a hand on my leg. That night she sat atleast a foot apart from me and never touched me the whole night. We barely even spoke. Every time I tried she was dismissive.
After dinner we went back to her house and she sat me down to tell me that she felt pressured to see me after work as she missed going to stores and felt rushed to get home to see me. I didn’t react and just offered a compromise and said I understood how about we schedule a date night then. She never responded and just dropped it. She then brought up the gym argument again. I didn’t respond to it. I told her I was her safe place and to just relax. My head was swimming with thoughts of here we go again. I leave soon after her telling me she was tired and I got my peck on the cheek and left early. I did not receive a good night text or ask if I made it home safely. I sent a good night message and fell asleep.
The next morning I wake to no messages which was very abnormal. I normally get good morning messages from her and I love you’s every day. I sent my normal messages and she responds back saying she needed that. But nothing more additional. I go through my day and get nothing else from her. Normally she sends texts all day long. Towards 4 pm I send a text from a gym and a selfie saying hi , I love you. She hearted the photo and said then said she was going to her mom’s house and sent me a selfie of her. She was all dressed up and didn’t look like she was just going to her moms. I was hoping to get an invite to come over. Nothing more came from her. I asked about her daughter as she had was dealing with possible Covid symptoms and I got nothing in response. I didn’t feel like going home so I went to the movies by myself. Sitting there I was thinking why am I putting up with this. I’m really not happy. I feel so alone.
I go to bed and send my normal good night texts. I wake up in the morning and I did not receive any texts. I decided to try calling her and all my calls were forwarded. I then check her Facebook and now see that I am blocked.
I remembered the boundaries I set and the purpose of the boundaries. The purpose was to respect myself and not be used by her again. I did not want to be hurt and abused by her again. With so many discards done in the past by her, I felt the discard was in full swing. I felt she was possibly cheating and the push back was her trying to create space to water a new infatuation. She had recently transferred to a new department within her company and was promoted and allowed to select people she wanted for her office. My gut was telling me she was talking to someone at work which would explain the recent late night hours.
I decided I needed to end the relationship. I sent her a break up text as she always ended it with me that way. Before that happened to me so many times, I never would have chosen to break up over text. But it did allow me to spell out everything I saw and what I felt. It contained my closure and reasoning in an attempt to make my own closure for myself because I knew she would not give any closure and also to hold her accountable. I ended the break up text with an open door and said if I’m wrong please explain. I will listen. Her response was “Wow you said enough.” “I’m done.” I replied “yep, I know”.
Her mother reached out and apologized and expressed regret. I told her everything. I felt vindicated. She said her and her husband thought so highly of me and hoped it would have worked. She did not know if her daughter was seeing anyone else. We have since stopped communicating but we remain friends on FB.
I credit the lack of sexual intimacy as the reason I was able to look at the relationship with sober eyes and step away when I saw the signs. The signs were abuse. They truly were. If you love a person you would never ask for space and give such a silly reason. Sex would have produced false feelings of love. I was able to look at the relationship objectively and I was actually not happy. My needs weren’t being met. I felt so drained and unseen. I didn’t feel loved. She loved the way I loved her but it wasn’t reciprocated.
I felt the need perhaps due to the trauma bond and the perceived betrayal to learn if in fact she had monkey branched in order to help me move away from her permanently.
I reached out to another family member and the ex she monkey branched to in the past. I explained the above information and I ended up not receiving any new information. Both told her I had reached out and her ex blocked me. My ex then sent me an email demanding I stop contacting her family and friends and further more she would be filing a protection order. I never received the order. My only regrets was reaching out to her family and her ex. It just gave her a reason to smear me and to tell everyone I’m nutty person.
I cant say I’m 100% hoover proof at the moment but I have started dating again. I don’t think she will come back again because I believe she feels I can’t be used anymore and furthermore I’m willing to reveal her bad deeds to her family and friends. I think she will choose to move on to a fresh target who does not know her and what she is capable of doing.
submitted by Longjumping_Walk_992 to BPDlovedones [link] [comments]
In my relationship experience with my gf, we were on and off for five years and cycled back over a dozen times. I’ve been hit with blind sided discards throughout the years. Usually the discards happened when I thought things were at their best in the relationship and we were having our most closest and intimate times together. I loved her but my heart had hardened over the years and it morphed into a challenge and experiment for me as I am very interested in human psychology. The last three break ups were all initiated by me after I saw set boundaries bulldozed through by her.
In the past, I would have lingered and waited for the axe to fall not believing she would or could actually leave. Now armed with all this hard learned experience, I prepared and waited for her next hoover. Sure enough she came back each time. Sometimes after much more added betrayal. Sometimes she would monkey branch, she would never admit to it but I would usually find out months or years after the fact. She was great at keeping secrets and sneaking around and telling lies. This last time was more of an experiment for me. Her trigger after the love bombing stage and first discard was sexual intimacy which invoked emotional intimacy. Usually right after an intimate encounter she would either start a nonsensical fight and use my reaction as a reason to leave or would just disappear and ghost.
I’ve struggled with does she only have an avoidant attachment style or is there a cluster B disorder also at play. I really think it is BPD with covert NPD traits combined with an avoidant attachment style forming a mental trifecta; a relationship disaster. I knew this last time wouldn’t work. A zebra can’t change its stripes.
She contacted me again to get back together again. I played hard to get trying to decide if I really wanted this or not. I demanded numerous boundaries be agreed to before I would agree trying again. I pushed her so far away, I thought she might just say never mind but when I saw her reaching her limit, I relented and accepted her back with many boundaries in place. I told myself if these were broke I was done and I would leave. One important boundary was being blocked on social media. She would always keep me blocked on FB and other platforms while we were in a relationship. I felt it was to shield her harem from knowing about me and me knowing about them and what she was doing. She kept other ex’s as friends on FB and actually went back to him after we broke up on two occasions.
I often wondered if we put off having sex could we build a stronger foundation and have a longer lasting relationship. I also didn’t want physical intimacy to cloud my judgement and give me false feelings of love. So we both decided to not be intimate right away and just date and put an emphasis on building a friendship and getting close with out sex. Things were great in the beginning. She was trying hard. She opened up in ways I had always wanted. Some of those were because of boundaries I set in the beginning. I got to meet her family and friends. I saw a lot of the same cluster B behaviors in others close to her and her family members from suicide to serial cheating, multiple and short lived relationships etc…
Slowly I could see the mental fatigue on her face. She began struggling about two months in. We decided to plan a weekend getaway and be intimate. I put down deposits on an Airbnb and made plans. She started an argument the week of the trip. Her issue was that I offered to bring her to my gym as a guest so we could do something healthy together and bond. She just thought that was the worst idea ever. During the argument she also told me she could be talking to someone else instead. She then kicked me out of her house. I thought that was the end of the experiment. In the past any conflict no matter how mild would have been reason enough for her to break up.
Low in behold, I was truly surprised, I woke up to a good morning text from her apologizing saying she was not running away and I was her person and she loved me. She stated she still didn’t feel comfortable going on the trip. I lost deposits. I later questioned her about who she was referring to she could be talking to instead. She said she never could have said that as it would have been mean to say.
Fast forward approximately two months later the old argument about the gym was brought up again by her. It didn’t get to the same level of being kicked out of her house. I kept my cool and just gray rocked her and didn’t react. I just affirmed her and said ok. It seemed to give her some relief and not escalate things. We decided to plan a weekend at a casino where we would spend the night. This went off without a hitch. We had a great time and we were very intimate and had great sex. Afterwards laying in bed enjoying the afterglow, she commented this was never our problem. I asked what was our problem, she said it was her running away. She promised to never do that again. The next day we went her parents house for Sunday dinner. Things were great, she seemed so in love with me. I was elated. We were walking into her parents side entrance when I noticed how happy she was and I commented someone looks like they are in love. She turned around and looked at me with the strangest face. Almost like fear. I was taken aback but didn’t say anything as we were walking into her parents house and then greeted everyone. It was like a switch had just flipped. She became distant and quiet. I didn’t see her again until the following sunday. She gave excuses about having to work a night shift that was at first going to alternate every other day to nightly. At the end of the week she invited back to her parents house for dinner. She still texted but I didn’t receive any phone calls and the texts contained less affectionate terms and only offered up I loves you’s only after I did first.
While at her parents house her mother asked if I was going to her birthday party the next night at a restaurant. I said I would love to but I didn’t know anything about it. She gave her mom a wtf look and then said let’s see how he acts first. Me and her mother both looked at each other and laughed. The next night I show up at her house to pick her and her teenage daughter up who had been committed for attempting suicide in the past for the purpose of going to her mother’s bday party.
Two days in the future was Valentine’s Day, I asked what restaurant would she like to go too. She was like I don’t won’t to go out and gave a reason as the restaurants would be to busy but after my persistent questioning she offered possibly a lunch instead and said she would let me know. I dropped it as she was getting visibly angered. This was totally out of character because she always liked going out to busy places where live music and beer was had. I said ok and we continued on to the party. We were at a restaurant and normally she sits right beside me thigh to thigh and she would keep a hand on my leg. That night she sat atleast a foot apart from me and never touched me the whole night. We barely even spoke. Every time I tried she was dismissive.
After dinner we went back to her house and she sat me down to tell me that she felt pressured to see me after work as she missed going to stores and felt rushed to get home to see me. I didn’t react and just offered a compromise and said I understood how about we schedule a date night then. She never responded and just dropped it. She then brought up the gym argument again. I didn’t respond to it. I told her I was her safe place and to just relax. My head was swimming with thoughts of here we go again. I leave soon after her telling me she was tired and I got my peck on the cheek and left early. I did not receive a good night text or ask if I made it home safely. I sent a good night message and fell asleep.
The next morning I wake to no messages which was very abnormal. I normally get good morning messages from her and I love you’s every day. I sent my normal messages and she responds back saying she needed that. But nothing more additional. I go through my day and get nothing else from her. Normally she sends texts all day long. Towards 4 pm I send a text from a gym and a selfie saying hi , I love you. She hearted the photo and said then said she was going to her mom’s house and sent me a selfie of her. She was all dressed up and didn’t look like she was just going to her moms. I was hoping to get an invite to come over. Nothing more came from her. I asked about her daughter as she had was dealing with possible Covid symptoms and I got nothing in response. I didn’t feel like going home so I went to the movies by myself. Sitting there I was thinking why am I putting up with this. I’m really not happy. I feel so alone.
I go to bed and send my normal good night texts. I wake up in the morning and I did not receive any texts. I decided to try calling her and all my calls were forwarded. I then check her Facebook and now see that I am blocked.
I remembered the boundaries I set and the purpose of the boundaries. The purpose was to respect myself and not be used by her again. I did not want to be hurt and abused by her again. With so many discards done in the past by her, I felt the discard was in full swing. I felt she was possibly cheating and the push back was her trying to create space to water a new infatuation. She had recently transferred to a new department within her company and was promoted and allowed to select people she wanted for her office. My gut was telling me she was talking to someone at work which would explain the recent late night hours.
I decided I needed to end the relationship. I sent her a break up text as she always ended it with me that way. Before that happened to me so many times, I never would have chosen to break up over text. But it did allow me to spell out everything I saw and what I felt. It contained my closure and reasoning in an attempt to make my own closure for myself because I knew she would not give any closure and also to hold her accountable. I ended the break up text with an open door and said if I’m wrong please explain. I will listen. Her response was “Wow you said enough.” “I’m done.” I replied “yep, I know”.
Her mother reached out and apologized and expressed regret. I told her everything. I felt vindicated. She said her and her husband thought so highly of me and hoped it would have worked. She did not know if her daughter was seeing anyone else. We have since stopped communicating but we remain friends on FB.
I credit the lack of sexual intimacy as the reason I was able to look at the relationship with sober eyes and step away when I saw the signs. The signs were abuse. They truly were. If you love a person you would never ask for space and give such a silly reason. Sex would have produced false feelings of love. I was able to look at the relationship objectively and I was actually not happy. My needs weren’t being met. I felt so drained and unseen. I didn’t feel loved. She loved the way I loved her but it wasn’t reciprocated.
I felt the need perhaps due to the trauma bond and the perceived betrayal to learn if in fact she had monkey branched in order to help me move away from her permanently.
I reached out to another family member and the ex she monkey branched to in the past. I explained the above information and I ended up not receiving any new information. Both told her I had reached out and her ex blocked me. My ex then sent me an email demanding I stop contacting her family and friends and further more she would be filing a protection order. I never received the order. My only regrets was reaching out to her family and her ex. It just gave her a reason to smear me and to tell everyone I’m nutty person.
I cant say I’m 100% hoover proof at the moment but I have started dating again. I don’t think she will come back again because I believe she feels I can’t be used anymore and furthermore I’m willing to reveal her bad deeds to her family and friends. I think she will choose to move on to a fresh target who does not know her and what she is capable of doing.
2024.05.15 22:57 yamwnts i have to confess everything
i have had this overwhelming and sudden guilt the past month or two which has urged me to confess all past wrongdoings. i have basically confessed everything to my dad. i very frequently think about what i have done wrong in the past.
i felt relief after talking to my dad about these things, and then my boyfriend. but now, because i have run out of things to confess, i feel as if i have to tell these things to others too.
things like shoplifting a lot as a young teenager, drinking underage, cheating on a test, etc. dumb stuff that yes, was wrong, but i realistically know these things aren’t unheard of. most happened 2+ years ago following my moms death where my headspace was awful. not an excuse, but maybe an explaination.
but i feel like i should tell these things to my grandmother, because if i don’t, she is helping me pay for college under the “false pretense” that i am a good person.
or like I must tell these things to my boyfriends parents, or my relationship with them is built on lies.
is it okay for me to keep these things to myself? or do they deserve to know? could it be just a normal guilty conscience that should be confessed?
i am trying to get into therapy to no avail. please give any and all advice you have. thank you!
submitted by yamwnts to OCD [link] [comments]
i felt relief after talking to my dad about these things, and then my boyfriend. but now, because i have run out of things to confess, i feel as if i have to tell these things to others too.
things like shoplifting a lot as a young teenager, drinking underage, cheating on a test, etc. dumb stuff that yes, was wrong, but i realistically know these things aren’t unheard of. most happened 2+ years ago following my moms death where my headspace was awful. not an excuse, but maybe an explaination.
but i feel like i should tell these things to my grandmother, because if i don’t, she is helping me pay for college under the “false pretense” that i am a good person.
or like I must tell these things to my boyfriends parents, or my relationship with them is built on lies.
is it okay for me to keep these things to myself? or do they deserve to know? could it be just a normal guilty conscience that should be confessed?
i am trying to get into therapy to no avail. please give any and all advice you have. thank you!
2024.05.15 22:57 Derangedbuffalo Has anyone experienced this before?
This period has been really weird and it’s kinda scaring me at this point. It started with more abdominal pain than usual but was just a regular heavy period for the first 5 days. I then started to get heavy clotting, thick chunks about 2cm long a good 10+ times a day for 3 days. It then stopped abruptly out of now where for 2 entire days with just one instance of brown discharge. This evening I’ve had a mixture of old and fresh bright blood and am bleeding again.
I spoke to my doctor the day it stopped and they said it was likely just hormones. Should I go back now it’s started again or is it likely my nexplanon causing all this mess? (It was inserted in January and is my third implant - the other two I had completely stopped bleeding and having periods by the 5th month)
I feel quite anxious about what could be causing this now
submitted by Derangedbuffalo to Periods [link] [comments]
I spoke to my doctor the day it stopped and they said it was likely just hormones. Should I go back now it’s started again or is it likely my nexplanon causing all this mess? (It was inserted in January and is my third implant - the other two I had completely stopped bleeding and having periods by the 5th month)
I feel quite anxious about what could be causing this now
2024.05.15 22:57 stankumellymucho Almost $2,000 of credit card debt
As the title says, I’ve accumulated almost $2,000 of credit card debit due to using my credit card for school expenses and other unnecessary purchases. For context, I’m a first year college student with the Discover it student cash back card. I had a job before moving to college and run out of money and could only basically give a few dollars above my minimum card payment each month due to having no income. I’m planning on getting a job as soon as I get back home from college in June. I guess my question is, how should I go about this? Should I try to pay my credit card debt off as soon as possible and continue giving a few dollars above minimum payments for the next two months till I get a job? I also forgot to add that I’ve been charged 27.24% APR which is a $45.17 interest charge after my payment of the month of May. Is it possible to lower the interest rate somehow by discussing this with discover? Please help/ give advice!!! Thank you!!!! Trying to fix this ASAP!
submitted by stankumellymucho to personalfinance [link] [comments]
2024.05.15 22:57 Red1220 ANA159 JFK to HND 13.5 hours, just landed.
Hi all,
I’ve been a follower of the sub for quite a while and I believe this is my first post here ever. I have had a massive fear of flying, it started when I went to Aviation High School in NYC and the 9/11 attacks occurred in full view of our classroom. Continuing in AHS didn’t help either as we were always learning how things can go wrong on a plane and how to fix them. I was completely grounded for almost a decade during my twenties. Then, about two years ago, I started traveling again, and as always was just white knuckling it.
I am proud to say that this flight was different. I was TERRIFIED of this long flight. I’ve been to Japan before so I have done this on a few occasions. For whatever reason this time, having had an existential crisis a few months back, I was really scared to go on this flight.
But I walked on it. And I owned it. I did not white knuckle it even once. I kept my eyes on a glass of water that was placed beside me and paid attention to the demeanor of the flight attendants. That’s it. No matter how bad the turbulence got, the water inside never spilled out and the cup never moved. Also, in a monumental first, I slept for a long time on this flight. I gave up control and placed it all in the pilots hands and the flight attendants hands. All was well. And no matter how bad the turbulence got I did not panic, my heart rate did not go up and I did not clutch the arm rests. Very very proud of myself this time out!
Special shout out to u/realgentleman80 for being awesome and also to the pilot (on another long flight to Doha last year) that, upon hearing that I was nervous before takeoff, invited me to the cockpit and talked with me and let me see the instruments and meet all the copilots.
Thanks guys!
submitted by Red1220 to fearofflying [link] [comments]
I’ve been a follower of the sub for quite a while and I believe this is my first post here ever. I have had a massive fear of flying, it started when I went to Aviation High School in NYC and the 9/11 attacks occurred in full view of our classroom. Continuing in AHS didn’t help either as we were always learning how things can go wrong on a plane and how to fix them. I was completely grounded for almost a decade during my twenties. Then, about two years ago, I started traveling again, and as always was just white knuckling it.
I am proud to say that this flight was different. I was TERRIFIED of this long flight. I’ve been to Japan before so I have done this on a few occasions. For whatever reason this time, having had an existential crisis a few months back, I was really scared to go on this flight.
But I walked on it. And I owned it. I did not white knuckle it even once. I kept my eyes on a glass of water that was placed beside me and paid attention to the demeanor of the flight attendants. That’s it. No matter how bad the turbulence got, the water inside never spilled out and the cup never moved. Also, in a monumental first, I slept for a long time on this flight. I gave up control and placed it all in the pilots hands and the flight attendants hands. All was well. And no matter how bad the turbulence got I did not panic, my heart rate did not go up and I did not clutch the arm rests. Very very proud of myself this time out!
Special shout out to u/realgentleman80 for being awesome and also to the pilot (on another long flight to Doha last year) that, upon hearing that I was nervous before takeoff, invited me to the cockpit and talked with me and let me see the instruments and meet all the copilots.
Thanks guys!
2024.05.15 22:56 Careful-Season-7974 Probably the worst place to ask this, but is there a way to reverse this mindset?
I've been thinking whether I'm trans or not for months now. Every time I see a girl get a compliment I think "wow, i wish I was her", I do get compliments as a guy but it just doesn't do much for me.
I often think about how awesome it would be to have breasts, to not be judged and stereotyped for getting piercings and wearing makeup, not getting pattern baldness, maybe too often for comfort. My boyfriend called me a girl in bed last time and it felt oddly good too.
You'd probably think "wow, you want to look like a woman and be treated as a woman, just start transitioning, that's more than enough signs!", and it's...not that simple. Not at all.
First off, I still like my voice, especially the singing voice which I'd definitely not want to get rid of, and second I'm not a fan of either having my genitals stop functioning or removed altogether.
Those were the internal problems, and external ones...
1-its illegal to have a transition where I am. So move then? 2-not a chance, too poor. 3-my family is extremely transphobic. Find validation from your bf? 4-he hates the idea of me transitioning, and without him I don't have a chance to survive.
It's best to just let go of the desire, but it's very intrusive.
submitted by Careful-Season-7974 to MtF [link] [comments]
I often think about how awesome it would be to have breasts, to not be judged and stereotyped for getting piercings and wearing makeup, not getting pattern baldness, maybe too often for comfort. My boyfriend called me a girl in bed last time and it felt oddly good too.
You'd probably think "wow, you want to look like a woman and be treated as a woman, just start transitioning, that's more than enough signs!", and it's...not that simple. Not at all.
First off, I still like my voice, especially the singing voice which I'd definitely not want to get rid of, and second I'm not a fan of either having my genitals stop functioning or removed altogether.
Those were the internal problems, and external ones...
1-its illegal to have a transition where I am. So move then? 2-not a chance, too poor. 3-my family is extremely transphobic. Find validation from your bf? 4-he hates the idea of me transitioning, and without him I don't have a chance to survive.
It's best to just let go of the desire, but it's very intrusive.
2024.05.15 22:56 Jaded_Goat_2700 Teaching Parents Water Safety
Hey all! So we know it is water safety month. My swim school is doing a few grassroots events surrounding water safety, and one of those is doing a presentation for the parents. We have a presentation for the other kiddos in the swim school and businesses we visit, but these are going to be parents of BABIES, less than 2. The presentation we have is geared for children so I’m having a tough time creating this new presentation geared for parents.
I plan to talk about the dos and don’ts of floaties, early water conditioning, and having water guardians when around water. Other than that I’m completely blank! Help me out!
submitted by Jaded_Goat_2700 to SwimInstructors [link] [comments]
I plan to talk about the dos and don’ts of floaties, early water conditioning, and having water guardians when around water. Other than that I’m completely blank! Help me out!
2024.05.15 22:55 smm2401 Some Insights On My 2 Year Channel Birthday Today
Got a notification that it is my first channel's 2 year birthday today. Very casually building channel for 2 years.
Set a goal to monetize in 18 months. Monetized in 18 months and 26 days. Would recommend someone who sets a long term goal to challenge their first idea of a timeframe. Parkinson's Law is the idea that work expands to fill the time allotted for its completion. I truly felt I fell victim to this and could have tried harder, earlier.
-88 LF Videos -79 SF Videos
Highest LF Video Views: 154,614
Highest SF Video Views: 20,244
Things I still struggle with:
submitted by smm2401 to NewTubers [link] [comments]
Set a goal to monetize in 18 months. Monetized in 18 months and 26 days. Would recommend someone who sets a long term goal to challenge their first idea of a timeframe. Parkinson's Law is the idea that work expands to fill the time allotted for its completion. I truly felt I fell victim to this and could have tried harder, earlier.
-88 LF Videos -79 SF Videos
Highest LF Video Views: 154,614
Highest SF Video Views: 20,244
Things I still struggle with:
- Becoming obsessed with the stats of one video. Overanalyzing, instead of moving on and creating the next video.
- Motivation. This channel relies on being creative. Sometimes I have creative slumps. Because of this I started a second channel that is more objective. I currently have 600+ subs on that channel and 50% watch time. I did this so I can keep working on my filming and editing skills even when I don't feel creative I can still skill-build.
- "Hard work beats talent when talent fails to work hard". Some of my competitors have insanely better stats than I do. But, I feel my material is "better." The biggest difference is they crank out more material, more frequently. It doesn't matter that I think I am more talented. They work harder. I have 167 videos total. One of the competitors I watch has 360 videos and started 3 months later than I did. Would I have better skills and stats if I had posted 193 more videos in the same time frame? Absolutely!
- Every day there is a new strategy/drama video pushing out advice on what you should post, when you should post, if SF hurts LF, etc. Don't spend too much time here.
2024.05.15 22:55 Educational-Let-1027 Why is my crush so worried about my mental health when he hurt me and cut contact with me years ago?
I made a post a few weeks ago about Eddie. Three years ago, I befriended “Eddie” on vacation. I liked him, and he liked me. He confided in the wrong people about his crush on me, and I found out. However, Eddie actually had a girlfriend, and cut contact with me. He was friends with mostly everyone else on social media except me. I never really got any closure or resolution around this situation. Eddie and I never spoke after the trip. So for years, I’ve always wondered about how he really felt about me.
Eddie and his girlfriend broke up two months later, but he never tried contacting me. I kind of suspected that he looked at my TikTok videos, but I also know that for months after, he wasn’t over his ex. This situation happened during the height of the pandemic, so while I knew it would be best to move on, I couldn’t. If this situation happened at any other time, I likely would’ve forgotten Eddie within a couple of weeks or months. But classes were online. I couldn’t meet anyone. For a good year, I had feelings for Eddie, but again, nothing ever came of it.
This past summer, I was heartbroken over another failed crush. I was just going through a lot in general, and I spent most of my days high on drugs. I posted TikTok videos about heartbreak and depression. Sometimes I’d post five TikToks in a night. Sometimes, I’d reupload these videos. I don’t know why. I guess I was bored. And while I still wondered about Eddie, I didn’t think he ever looked my social media.
Little did I know, Eddie saw me posting these videos online, and contacted our friends. He asked them to see if I was posting anything else on my Instagram, which is private. Nothing’s happened since then, but I’m wondering why Eddie cares. I don’t think Eddie is this evil sociopath or anything, but it’s not like he showed me any care or consideration back then when he actually hurt me. So why? Is this some misguided way of absolving himself of guilt?
submitted by Educational-Let-1027 to BPDsupport [link] [comments]
Eddie and his girlfriend broke up two months later, but he never tried contacting me. I kind of suspected that he looked at my TikTok videos, but I also know that for months after, he wasn’t over his ex. This situation happened during the height of the pandemic, so while I knew it would be best to move on, I couldn’t. If this situation happened at any other time, I likely would’ve forgotten Eddie within a couple of weeks or months. But classes were online. I couldn’t meet anyone. For a good year, I had feelings for Eddie, but again, nothing ever came of it.
This past summer, I was heartbroken over another failed crush. I was just going through a lot in general, and I spent most of my days high on drugs. I posted TikTok videos about heartbreak and depression. Sometimes I’d post five TikToks in a night. Sometimes, I’d reupload these videos. I don’t know why. I guess I was bored. And while I still wondered about Eddie, I didn’t think he ever looked my social media.
Little did I know, Eddie saw me posting these videos online, and contacted our friends. He asked them to see if I was posting anything else on my Instagram, which is private. Nothing’s happened since then, but I’m wondering why Eddie cares. I don’t think Eddie is this evil sociopath or anything, but it’s not like he showed me any care or consideration back then when he actually hurt me. So why? Is this some misguided way of absolving himself of guilt?
2024.05.15 22:54 manmeatr Sore and stinging after four weeks?
 | (sorry the pics are a little unclear, did the best I could with my lousy iphone 7) Hi! I got this tramp stamp ;) a month ago, and while I think it does look like it's healing fine (the red bumps I think are just acne, feels normal) sometimes it stings and feels a little sore? It doesn't hurt, but I am aware of it if that makes sense. I've only been tattooed twice before and it was about two years ago since my last so I honestly don't remember if this happened before. I also got two on my arm at the same appointment last month and they have healed perfectly so far with no stinging or soreness. I've been washing with unscented sensitive soap and moisturizing daily, also trying not to wear anything that causes friction against it but because of the placement pretty much all my jeans kinda rub against it a little so when I'm at work or school (only a few hours a day) there might be some friction, but at home I wear super low-rise sweats to avoid that (did that when going out for the first two weeks as well but my vanity finally won...) Just wondering if all this is normal healing or if I should be doing something differently, thoughts? submitted by manmeatr to tattooadvice [link] [comments] |
2024.05.15 22:54 konradpw Looking for input for my modern post-apicalpytic greek mythology setting. Any opinion or input is welcome.
Looking for Ideas for my next Campaign
Heyo everyone,
First of all, thank you wonderful people for joining me here. Firstly a short Overview of the setting, some ideas for the story and then i will throw a few extras in at the end. Would be happy to hear everyones thoughts to all of this, what you love or hate, what kind of cool and crazy ideas you have for me and yeah thats it actually :D Lets get into it.
System: i will be using the Cypher system, as it gives me the Narative focus with plenty of customization and adaptiblity. I havent been doing too much with it yet, but i really like it already from readying and listening a bit to plays.
Setting: This is where it gets mythical. So imagine a world just like ours. Actually exactly our world. A few years in the future some archelogists and divers find Pandoras Box hidden on a greek island in an underwater cave with plenty of warning. and even logbook with it. Its Odyseus's logbook, in which he mentioned he trapped all the gods and magic in that box with the help of Circe and a few of the other more benevolent gods. Thus started the golden age of humanity where they didnt have to worry about annoying a bunch of superpowerful self absorbed mythical assholes on Olympus.
Surprisingly, the archelogists actually listened to Odyseus warning and decided that some mysteries might be better left unsolved. The box was left open to allow the world the speculate. Not long after that, the box was the most important and most talked about object in the world. It even went on a world tour through the biggest museums. That was until it arrived in America. In the years since 2024, interest in Social media and influencers only increased, causing people to do anything for clicks and likes. And one particular idiot went as far as sneaking a gun into a museum to shoot open pandoras box live on Stream.
Not long after that, 90% of the world population died. As the contained magic exploded forth and spread across the world in light speed, it wrecked havoc across the whole world, changing the land, the animals and the people. Monsters reappered, The gods made their anger at their imprisonment clear to anyone they could and the world offically ended on that day.
Now, 40 days in the future, North America is a wasteland generally regarded as inhabitable due to the high concentration of Mana there, which is toxic to Humans. Most people live in Europe, Africa, Asia and australia, or whats left of it anyways. Famine and war are standard. Some people are training to use magic themselves, others devote themselves to hunting the new monsters for their rare parts, others integrate magic into technology for wonderous creations and most just try to survive in small communities. Most people avoid the gods at all cost, some have formed into cults for them while the rare few attempt to rebel (which often ends in gruesome deaths).
Now the players find themselves in a familar yet unknown world, Magic everywhere to be found, Horrible creatures ready to feast on them around each corner, Ruined cities promising loot and danger, Technology growing rapidly thanks to magic and Powerful beings toying with them for their amusement.
Adventure: So I want to sent the players to North america as part of a huge strikeforce to retrieve a part of pandoras box for study to maybe capture the gods again. obviously this will be a huge secret, they will think its to retrieve vital knowledge to fight a spreading plague as will most of the expiditions members to avoid the eyes of the gods. They will be teleported to America through a new device, but will be forced to travel back on their own accord. Which will lead them to a container ship that holds their strikeforce and some survivors they will find to travel back over the ocean. TIME FOR AN ODYSEE. Everything will go wrong on the trip, i wanna challange the players with impossible emotional choices like maybe during a famine on board some passangers will eat the dead. Should they be punished? Or when the ship is hit by a monster, should we seal a part of the ship to prevent more of the ship taking in water, even if most people couldnt evacuate yet.
I want the players to distinguish themselves during their time in NA to allow them to tale the command of the ship, maybe the commander of the expdition is heavily wounded ( dont want to kill them off, because someone gotta reveal they carry a shard of the box with them). That way all of the decision will be upon them.
I want them to also meet poseidon, who will be their main villain. He will attack them multiple times and the only way they will survive is often with big casualties, with help of other gods or magical artifacts. Other gods will be involved too. Maybe someone from the backgrounds of the player gets involved to murder them. And the two gods trying to kill them , with the bickering giving them a way to escape. In the end they can either kill a god using the piece of the box, or bring the piece home for future use. Will they be able to protect themselves and their people from poseidon, or do they have to strike his heart with their piece of pandoras box. When presented with an opportunity to kill another god, the god who hurt the players the most by killing family and friends, will they take this chance or will they be able to control their rage.
I want to leave this very open ended, just with many encounters ready to go if the opportunity present itself.
And i have to say, Epic: the musical was a big part of the inspiration, just want to give credit where its due. Absolutly amazing.
Here id be happy to hear your ideas. Anything is fine, good or bad opinions. Really just collecting thoughts now.
Some other cool things about the world i will include: Shades: when people were hit by the explosion of mana from the opening of the box, most disintegrated instantly. Some left behind a shade made of pure mana. Those shades are like ghosts on autopilot that follow the routine of the person that it once was. They are usually neutral just doing their thing, but if they sense a disturbance to their regular routine, they will react hostile. As incorperal beings they are incredibly difficult to stop unless you possess magic. They will use the mana inside them to overload you and kill you slow and painfully
Mana/magic: so mana is plentiful and everywhere. It can be used to cast spells and empower oneself. How to do this, is a difficult skill the players will learn during their adventure. The only problem is that mana is toxic to humans as our bodies evolved something like mana allergy. Players can cast spells from their internal force as well if they have one (like divine power born with or purified mana they gained through meditation) so caster classes have a few safe options. But in the end, i want players to pursue a game of risk and reward, by drawing on the mana around them, giving them abilities but also causing many negative effects.
submitted by konradpw to rpg [link] [comments]
Heyo everyone,
First of all, thank you wonderful people for joining me here. Firstly a short Overview of the setting, some ideas for the story and then i will throw a few extras in at the end. Would be happy to hear everyones thoughts to all of this, what you love or hate, what kind of cool and crazy ideas you have for me and yeah thats it actually :D Lets get into it.
System: i will be using the Cypher system, as it gives me the Narative focus with plenty of customization and adaptiblity. I havent been doing too much with it yet, but i really like it already from readying and listening a bit to plays.
Setting: This is where it gets mythical. So imagine a world just like ours. Actually exactly our world. A few years in the future some archelogists and divers find Pandoras Box hidden on a greek island in an underwater cave with plenty of warning. and even logbook with it. Its Odyseus's logbook, in which he mentioned he trapped all the gods and magic in that box with the help of Circe and a few of the other more benevolent gods. Thus started the golden age of humanity where they didnt have to worry about annoying a bunch of superpowerful self absorbed mythical assholes on Olympus.
Surprisingly, the archelogists actually listened to Odyseus warning and decided that some mysteries might be better left unsolved. The box was left open to allow the world the speculate. Not long after that, the box was the most important and most talked about object in the world. It even went on a world tour through the biggest museums. That was until it arrived in America. In the years since 2024, interest in Social media and influencers only increased, causing people to do anything for clicks and likes. And one particular idiot went as far as sneaking a gun into a museum to shoot open pandoras box live on Stream.
Not long after that, 90% of the world population died. As the contained magic exploded forth and spread across the world in light speed, it wrecked havoc across the whole world, changing the land, the animals and the people. Monsters reappered, The gods made their anger at their imprisonment clear to anyone they could and the world offically ended on that day.
Now, 40 days in the future, North America is a wasteland generally regarded as inhabitable due to the high concentration of Mana there, which is toxic to Humans. Most people live in Europe, Africa, Asia and australia, or whats left of it anyways. Famine and war are standard. Some people are training to use magic themselves, others devote themselves to hunting the new monsters for their rare parts, others integrate magic into technology for wonderous creations and most just try to survive in small communities. Most people avoid the gods at all cost, some have formed into cults for them while the rare few attempt to rebel (which often ends in gruesome deaths).
Now the players find themselves in a familar yet unknown world, Magic everywhere to be found, Horrible creatures ready to feast on them around each corner, Ruined cities promising loot and danger, Technology growing rapidly thanks to magic and Powerful beings toying with them for their amusement.
Adventure: So I want to sent the players to North america as part of a huge strikeforce to retrieve a part of pandoras box for study to maybe capture the gods again. obviously this will be a huge secret, they will think its to retrieve vital knowledge to fight a spreading plague as will most of the expiditions members to avoid the eyes of the gods. They will be teleported to America through a new device, but will be forced to travel back on their own accord. Which will lead them to a container ship that holds their strikeforce and some survivors they will find to travel back over the ocean. TIME FOR AN ODYSEE. Everything will go wrong on the trip, i wanna challange the players with impossible emotional choices like maybe during a famine on board some passangers will eat the dead. Should they be punished? Or when the ship is hit by a monster, should we seal a part of the ship to prevent more of the ship taking in water, even if most people couldnt evacuate yet.
I want the players to distinguish themselves during their time in NA to allow them to tale the command of the ship, maybe the commander of the expdition is heavily wounded ( dont want to kill them off, because someone gotta reveal they carry a shard of the box with them). That way all of the decision will be upon them.
I want them to also meet poseidon, who will be their main villain. He will attack them multiple times and the only way they will survive is often with big casualties, with help of other gods or magical artifacts. Other gods will be involved too. Maybe someone from the backgrounds of the player gets involved to murder them. And the two gods trying to kill them , with the bickering giving them a way to escape. In the end they can either kill a god using the piece of the box, or bring the piece home for future use. Will they be able to protect themselves and their people from poseidon, or do they have to strike his heart with their piece of pandoras box. When presented with an opportunity to kill another god, the god who hurt the players the most by killing family and friends, will they take this chance or will they be able to control their rage.
I want to leave this very open ended, just with many encounters ready to go if the opportunity present itself.
And i have to say, Epic: the musical was a big part of the inspiration, just want to give credit where its due. Absolutly amazing.
Here id be happy to hear your ideas. Anything is fine, good or bad opinions. Really just collecting thoughts now.
Some other cool things about the world i will include: Shades: when people were hit by the explosion of mana from the opening of the box, most disintegrated instantly. Some left behind a shade made of pure mana. Those shades are like ghosts on autopilot that follow the routine of the person that it once was. They are usually neutral just doing their thing, but if they sense a disturbance to their regular routine, they will react hostile. As incorperal beings they are incredibly difficult to stop unless you possess magic. They will use the mana inside them to overload you and kill you slow and painfully
Mana/magic: so mana is plentiful and everywhere. It can be used to cast spells and empower oneself. How to do this, is a difficult skill the players will learn during their adventure. The only problem is that mana is toxic to humans as our bodies evolved something like mana allergy. Players can cast spells from their internal force as well if they have one (like divine power born with or purified mana they gained through meditation) so caster classes have a few safe options. But in the end, i want players to pursue a game of risk and reward, by drawing on the mana around them, giving them abilities but also causing many negative effects.
2024.05.15 22:53 Patient-Fly-7279 AITAH for Wanting to Go on a Solo Hiking Trip Despite My Husband's Protests?
I (23F) and my husband (32M) have been married for three years. I had planned a solo hiking trip in the mountains for over two months. Hiking has always been my way to de-stress and find peace. The night before I was supposed to leave, my husband got upset and started a fight over financial responsibilities. He said he felt overwhelmed with the bills and that he was carrying more of the financial burden because he earns more. I work full-time as a teacher and also handle most of the household chores, but he compared me to his ex-wife and belittled my job, saying it wasn't as demanding as his job in construction.
I thought we had resolved the issue before I left, as I listened to him and acknowledged his feelings. However, the morning I was set to leave, he reignited the argument and accused me of being selfish for going on the trip. He got drunk and sent me angry texts, which ruined the first night of my trip because I was so upset.
The next morning, I woke up to a message from him that implied he was considering divorce. I was devastated and spent the entire day trying to find a way back home. I ended up taking two flights and then driving four hours home in tears. When I got home, he was extremely apologetic and promised it would never happen again. He admitted he has a pattern of starting fights whenever I make plans without him.
It's been over a week since I returned, and I'm still feeling resentful and angry. Part of me thinks we can move past this, but another part wonders if I should cut my losses and leave. AITAH for wanting to go on a solo hiking trip despite my husband's protests?
submitted by Patient-Fly-7279 to TwoHotTakes [link] [comments]
I thought we had resolved the issue before I left, as I listened to him and acknowledged his feelings. However, the morning I was set to leave, he reignited the argument and accused me of being selfish for going on the trip. He got drunk and sent me angry texts, which ruined the first night of my trip because I was so upset.
The next morning, I woke up to a message from him that implied he was considering divorce. I was devastated and spent the entire day trying to find a way back home. I ended up taking two flights and then driving four hours home in tears. When I got home, he was extremely apologetic and promised it would never happen again. He admitted he has a pattern of starting fights whenever I make plans without him.
It's been over a week since I returned, and I'm still feeling resentful and angry. Part of me thinks we can move past this, but another part wonders if I should cut my losses and leave. AITAH for wanting to go on a solo hiking trip despite my husband's protests?
2024.05.15 22:53 lswolfy Community Update - May15th, 2024
 | Hey there! Clare here, your snack connoisseur. submitted by lswolfy to launchschool [link] [comments] Last weekend, we had unseasonably great weather in the UK, so my little family and I went for a bike ride on a disused railway line called the Cuckoo Trail. It's a lovely route because it is traffic-free and reasonably flat, which is essential if I'm to keep my whinge quotient down (my daughters are much hardier than I am). Halfway along the route, we saw a sign for the Cuckoo Cafe, promising snacks galore, which, as you know, is right up my street and would make the ride worthwhile as I could do some research for this very community update. Upon entering the establishment, my youngest immediately clocked the 'Jammie Dodger Blondie'. For the uninitiated, a Jammie Dodger is essentially two discs of buttery shortbread embracing a gooey center of raspberry "jam" (or, let's be honest, a jam-like chemical concoction that glues the biscuits together). Originating in Wales in the swinging '60s, these biscuits were the brainchild of Burton Biscuits, and though there have been a few spin-offs like the Choccie and Toffee Dodgers, they have yet to quite capture the original's magic. They were named after the Beano comic book character "Roger the Dodger," who was renowned for his ability to dodge responsibility, particularly concerning his homework (I am also not a fan of the 'h' word). So here we are, in picturesque England, about to sample a snack that uses jammie dodgers as the main ingredient. "What could possibly go wrong?" I hear you ask. https://preview.redd.it/dpr35krzkn0d1.png?width=560&format=png&auto=webp&s=18646f9052c0c82bbe8a7c12e36163379dc941bb A lot, as this photo would attest to. The yummy pineapple cooler was quickly dispatched, but the jammie dodger treat was found to be inedible, which is quite a feat between my youngest and me. Something with such promise had gone horribly wrong. The jammie dodger is wonderful because it has the perfect ratio of biscuit to jam, which we already knew (we are very experienced with the jammie dodger in our household). Therefore, adding anything other than more jammie dodgers to a jammie dodger was bound to upset this balance. We only had ourselves to blame. My eldest went with the delectable fruit scone — there is no photo of that because every crumb was consumed. The moral of this story is don't mess with a British classic, and you can't go wrong with a scone, so long as you follow the rules (rhymes with 'stone', cream before jam, served with afternoon tea). Moving on... Smooth StartOur Spring/Summer Smooth Start Cohort is starting next week, which is very exciting. We have many guest speakers lined up and great leads to facilitate each group.When starting your Launch School journey, Smooth Start is a lovely way to meet peers, explore study techniques, and talk to graduate software engineers. Don't worry if you missed out this time; it's entirely optional. However, check out the Smooth Start page to join the waitlist for the next round if you fancy joining in (with this many people having this much fun—what's not to like?). https://preview.redd.it/zd8xxwa2ln0d1.png?width=880&format=png&auto=webp&s=a188e3ef32a2e5dc0a16d990d8ccba3616a49f55 PodcastsSpeaking of Smooth Start, Brandi has been busy since the last update, releasing not one but two new podcasts. The first is with Karis on all things Smooth Start. You can catch it here.In the second of this month's episodes, Brandi interviewed Patrick about his experience working through the core curriculum, including the benefits of Launch School's flexibility (it's all about balance). Watch it here. And, of course, you can always search for 'Launch School' on your favorite podcast app to find these and all previous episodes. Meet-upsThere have been some great in-person meet-ups this month, including Minnesota, Utah, Mitch's study group, and a mini post-Capstone gathering (which was worth two images because the photos are so cute):https://preview.redd.it/9hbj2t35ln0d1.png?width=800&format=png&auto=webp&s=a2435744d7a0d12442f27b324cafb22b75b0d6d4 I don't know of any planned meet-ups but check out the (numerous) Slack channels to see if there's one for a region near you. If there isn't, feel free to try and start one up! Pete also had a great suggestion: prefix location-specific channels with 'regional-' to make them easier to find. So, if you have created a channel for a local region, you now know how to be found! Women's GroupOur regular Launch School Women's Group Virtual meeting is on Sunday, June 2nd, at 2 pm EDT. This will include a focused discussion on "Parenting at Launch School." We all have commitments to consider, and exploring different strategies we use to find a balance that works for us will be great.Check out this forum post for more information, including how to sign up. Student articlesThe tradition of students writing great articles about their programming and studying exploits continues. This time, we have some prodigious authors.Joshua has written two articles. In the first (Launch School - My Experience), Joshua explores transitioning to software engineering and what to expect from Launch School. The second (I Failed My First Assessment At Launch School) looks at the positives of NY and the support to be gained from our community. Sara has written four articles. First, Study techniques and preparation against assessment shenanigans, and then a 3-parter on Nested collection navigation, looping, method chaining, and shallow copies! Lastly, something close to my heart as I still haven't taken the plunge on the 229 assessment, JD's What's this: Something in the air of JavaScript's Execution Context. If you're struggling with this, this is the article for you. https://preview.redd.it/542qu0e8ln0d1.png?width=800&format=png&auto=webp&s=15ce87970807c8512cdd4f8dbd8185339c07aaf8 On the GrapevineOur Slack channels are the key to getting involved in Launch School's community. There are many channels for all interests, so you can balance work and play.Nathan has created a new #photography group for (non-pet) photos! Don't let this distract you from Launch Schools's best channel though: #gratuitous_pet_photos. Following on from Brandi's idea in the last CU about absurd things we do to prepare for assessments, check out this thread for ideas. Snacks featured a lot, for which I'm happy to take credit - snacks are a food group all of their own and are essential for optimizing brain power. Naya found an application for binary search in the physical world - Launch School is here for all your interior decorating needs. Let's finish with some spectacular photos of the Northern lights. The right white balance is essential to a great photo, and our Launch School photographers have achieved this with aplomb. https://preview.redd.it/smg6vx2bln0d1.png?width=800&format=png&auto=webp&s=40b811407e65a2c33cd78010e2eb4697c673b144 (Disclaimer: some photos may not be genuine.) |
2024.05.15 22:53 shaneka69 CANCER ZODIAC - UNEXPECTED INCOME! TAROT READING MAY 2024
CANCER ZODIAC TAROT READING - UNEXPECTED INCOME MAY 2024
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