I was a damaged person. But I was on the mend.
I had a pretty traumatic break up with my childhood best friend, turned girlfriend. I had known her since we were 8 years old. We had been boyfriend and girlfriend since we were 13 and had been so for 9 years until my junior year of college when she cheated on me in a very cruel way. It came to light that she had cheated on me many times before as well.
I loved her so god damn much! I thought we were one of those stories where two souls were knitted together from eternity to eternity, or some hallmark card bullshit like that.
I was emotionally shattered and it took me a while until one day about 2 years later, I woke up and thought about her, but then realized that I hadn't thought about her at all the previous day. It was glorious and I knew then that I was on the mend. After that, my healing process sort of exponentially snowballed and I was back in the saddle as far as relationships went. I started going on dates and meeting up with women.
I was a software engineer working for a large corporation. Because I was good at my job, and because I didn't have a family, I was given the opportunity to move to Singapore and lead a project there for what would be a couple of years but turned out to be 7 years.
The great thing about Singapore is that they speak the "King's English" when they're not speaking "Singlish" (a patois of mostly English with funky grammar, but with Malay, Chinese, and Hindi thrown in). So I didn't have to learn a whole new language to fit in. I just had to learn how to translate Singlish to English, which wasn't too hard after a couple of months of trying. I even learned the lingo and it would amuse my coworkers a whole lot when I spoke Singlish. They thought it was hilarious.
I was a good looking guy (still am!!) but I really let myself go in my depression. I was a tall, muscular 210 pounds when I broke up with my ex, but I had ballooned up to over 300 pounds. I started a workout regimen and lost it all but the workout regimen became sort of an obsession. It was the one thing that grounded me. After I went to Singapore, one of my business perks was a gym membership at "Fitness First", a local gym franchise. I was down to my previous weight, but I had to practically camp out at the gym because the best thing about Singapore is the FOOD. The food is incredible! However, you WILL pack on the weight if you don't get your ass to the gym.
The meet cute
I was working out one day much later than normal due to some overtime on my project and I saw a girl on a treadmill. The treadmill was the one I usually use because it was in the back and kind of out of the way. The girl was stunning! The thing that stuck out to me was that she was had her hair in a pony tail through a ball cap, which is a look I find very attractive. I was a little nervous because, even though I was fairly confident about the way I look, I was definitely batting out of my league with this girl.
I went to her and chatted her up after she got off of the treadmill. She didn't look me in the eye and didn't really engage. I figured that I had acted like what is now known as a "gym creep" and I figured it was a "swing and a miss!" I apologized and said I wouldn't bother her anymore. I stuck out my hand and said "I'm OP, by the way. What's your name?"
She hesitated and looked at me for a bit and said "Lilly" (not her real name).
I remember this exactly because she later said that it was what intrigued her about me. At the time, she was an actress/model who had done some print/public billboard type ads, product demo booths at expos, and even a bit part in a local tv (Mediacorp) series. She had started to attract public attention because of these (mainly the TV show and the ads that were hanging all around town at that time) not just from men but from women too and it was super uncomfortable for her.
The fact that I had no idea who she was relaxed her and made her think that I was attracted to her for her and not because her face was everywhere at the time. After she told me about it, I did notice her face everywhere. But photoshop was a thing even back then, so I didn't recognize her from her ads and I really don't look at ads, tuning them out. I also didn't watch her TV show because it was in Mandarin Chinese and I don't speak or understand any Chinese, and I wasn't in a position where I was required to attend or arrange trade shows.
In the years prior to meeting me, Lilly had undergone a lot of plastic surgery (breast, eyelid, facial contouring, nose job, lipo, etc). She said it got to where she didn't recognize herself in the mirror and it disturbed and depressed her. She hadn't particularly wanted the surgery but she got the procedures done at the behest of her family who wanted her to bring in more money and the people in charge of her career development (don't know the term). It was all very expensive and she felt like she owed her family and the talent people who managed her.
Later, I found out that she hated the public recognition. Not just from men, but mostly from women who were really catty about her plastic surgery. The people in charge of her were pushing her to start singing but she didn't have a good voice and would need a bunch of training for that. She was depressed due to not recognizing herself in the mirror any more and didn't want to follow the career track that she had been on. They were pushing her to do more figure/body modeling which was why she was in the gym. She was SUPER uncomfortable with that and constantly hungry and pissed off.
She was afraid that she would do some more modeling and then get married off by her parents to some rich mainland Chinese man that she would be ambivalent about (she preferred Caucasian men) and she'd be forced to be a traditional pampered Chinese wife living in Beijing.(Doesn't sound that bad to me. Some of those Chinese businessmen live crazy luxurious lifestyles.
Since I was working a lot of overtime, I kept going to the gym later at night and we saw each other and I would wave and smile and she would smile and wave back. OK I was kinda hoping to meet her regularly. I spotted her on a couple of exercises and we began to chat with each other a bit. A couple of times I had to steady her because she was fainting from being hungry and working out at the same time. I used that as an excuse to take her out to a hawker center, which like a mall food court but with delicious local food (not chain restaurants). We chatted and got along really well. It became a regular thing until I confessed I had a crush on her. We started dating after that until it got to a point where she practically moved into my place.
She, of course, had her share of guys interested in her. She was on livejournal at the time (remember livejournal??) and she was doing that and posting pictures of herself for her career mostly, but I'm sure she did enjoy the attention. She had one guy from Belgium who was really after her. He actually bought her 800 thread count sheets, which is an oddly practical but vaguely inappropriate gift. He actually visited Singapore on business (he was a tech sales guy) and wanted to meet up with her in a public place, a hawker center. I still had trust issues from my previous "love of my life" betraying me. To this day, I cringe at my behavior at the time, but I laid down a clear boundary. She could absolutely go see and hang out with this guy if she wanted to, but if she did, she'd be doing it as a single available girl and we would be through. She said she saw my face "turn to stone" and it was clear that she would lose me if she went to meet up with that guy. That honestly gave her pause about our relationship and she really considered ending it at the time. I didn't know that until much later, though. Certainly, I'm glad that she didn't. She didn't go meet up with the guy. To this day, we call the incident "The Belgian Waffle". OK so I call it that, she thinks it's stupid.
Meeting her family
Eventually, Lilly asked if I could have dinner with her parents, saying that they wanted to meet me. I bought some gifts, basically Japanese cookies in really nice packaging, and then we met. I did the traditional thing and formally introduced myself and asked them about their family and history.
At the time, Lilly got some criticism from her extended family because I am a white guy. There was a certain stigma attached to local girls who liked white guys. They called those girls "SPGs" which stands for "Sarong Party Girls", a derogatory name for the prostitutes who would entertain British expats at after hours parties "back in the day".
Over the next few months, I won over her family mainly by eating their food and being accepting of their culture. I grew up in Texas, so pickled jalapenos were common in my house...like salt and pepper, we put them on everything. Later on, I was the kind of guy who put tabasco or sriracha on everything. So eating their spicy food was no problem for me. I remember us both going shopping at an open air market and seeing an older woman cutting up cili padi. I asked if I could try some. She looked at my pale face and then at Lilly and she said I could. I bit into one and chewed it up as the woman looked at me with an amused look on her face. She was waiting for me to jump up and down with fire shooting out of my mouth, I guess. I disappointed her, but she and Lilly were impressed. She later told her mother and she was impressed too. She wanted me to eat one for her as well. Oh well, trained monkey time I guess.
The real test came when I tried Durian for the first time. This is the same food that "defeated" Andrew Zimmern, the "Bizarre Foods" guy. I actually liked it. I had a D24 durian, which admittedly is like the "beginner version" of durians. There are like 16 different types. When you get past the smell and actually taste it, it doesn't smell that bad any more. It's very sweet and creamy. It's like the taste overwrites your disgust of the smell. I think that's what really impressed them to an extreme degree. They started calling me an "egg", because I was "white on the outside but yellow on the inside."
I would visit her grandmother with her. In true Chinese fashion, Lilly and her brother Johnny were raised by their paternal grandparents while their parents worked full time jobs, so her grandmother was like her mom. She was in an elder care facility at this point, though. She didn't like living there, but it was all they could afford. We would visit her every week and she'd be very happy. She didn't speak any English at all so she and Lilly would just chat speaking Hokkien Chinese while her grandmother would pet my hairy forearms like I was a dog. She was absolutely smitten with my hairy forearms.
Meeting my family
After a little over a year, I took her back to Texas to meet my family. It was quite the culture shock. Lilly was amazed by red barns and hay bales, black and white Holstein cows, things she saw in movies about the USA. She particularly was impressed by the cluster mailboxes lined up on country roads ("So cute, leh!") We actually had to stop the car and take pictures of her standing next to them, smiling goofily for the photo. I made sure to take her to the Texas hill country during spring, when the hills are covered with soft green grass and festooned with bluebonnets, sunflowers, indian paintbrushes, black eyed susans, daisies, etc. I had to practically hold her down to keep her from picking them. It's not illegal or anything, it's just frowned upon and tradition to leave them alone. OK, I let her pick some. Give me a break, I was in love with the girl.
Driving was also something that kind of boggled her mind. Texas is huge, and traveling from my parents' place to visit my brothers and their families was a seemingly endless trek. Driving from Houston to Austin, to Corpus Christi was crazy long, even with the stops to visit my relatives.
Lilly was practically agoraphobic at the big sky in Texas. She was used to being in a forest of tall concrete and steel buildings, with only strips of blue sky available at the top. In Texas that sky went from horizon to horizon. She was also amazed at the uncountable numbers of stars at night away from the city lights. She later told me it was like visiting Narnia or something.
In Texas, she got her share of looks from guys, especially in the bigger cities. I wasn't jealous. I've never been a jealous guy, although my experience with my ex "love of my life" really put my radar up, I still was proud that other guys were attracted to her. My attitude was "go ahead and eat your hearts out, she's with me!"
When she met my oldest brother, it was like a cultural thing with her, so she was very deferential and respectful. I knew that my oldest brother was attracted to her because he was stumbling and stuttering when he was speaking to her, looking at her but kind of avoiding looking at her. I wasn't too concerned because he was a married guy with 2 sons and not a scumbag, but it was still pretty amusing to see "Mr. Smooth-don't-let-em-know-you-want-em-kid" at a loss for words.
My parents met Lilly finally (she was super nervous but she did really well) and later my mom brought me aside and asked me if she should re-set her mother's diamond engagement ring. I thought about it a bit, and then told her "yes". My mom's eyes started sparkling with images of unborn grandchildren and she smiled bigger than I had ever seen her smile (kind of unsettling actually). My dad later brought me aside and basically told me I couldn't do any better and I would be a "god damn fool" if I let her get away from me. I agreed. My dad then told me something that remains with me to this day: "She will make your life sparkle, son." (she has).
Before our time in the US was up my mom gave me the ring and I asked Lilly to be my wife in a field of wildflowers, which had become her favorite place to be in Texas. She said yes. Looking back, that was one of the happiest days of my life. It was up there with losing my virginity to "the love of my life" (who turned out to be a duplicitous crazy person but at the time it was really special), my wedding day to Lilly, and the births of our children.
The Engagement
When we got back to Singapore we had to pretend we weren't engaged because I had to ask her parents for their daughter's hand in marriage. I spoke with them and explained how my prospects in my career were good. I told them that I loved their daughter and that my family also loved their daughter. We had to schedule a phone call between my parents and her parents.
I had clued my parents in as far as the traditions go. In Chinese culture, the groom pays for the wedding rather than the bride. The groom also has to give the bride's parents certain auspicious gifts. My parents luckily had done a tour of China a few years before and knew all of this beforehand, having befriended their local tour guide who was saving up money for his own wedding at the time. On the call, they agreed upon a pinjin, which is basically "betrothal money". We started to plan the Guo Da Li ceremony which would take place in 3 months time, and 3 months before the wedding.
Unfortunately life threw us a curve ball and Lilly's grandmother died. It was bittersweet because, while Lilly missed her, her grandmother had become very old and infirm to the point where her quality of life was pretty low. All wedding stuff was put on hiatus until the funeral was over plus 100 days for mourning.
After that, we were able to do the Guo Da Li ceremony. I gave my future in laws a red packet of money plus special cakes and 12 mandarin oranges and gold jewelry. It all went very well.
Wedding planning started in earnest. I got some money from my dad (who insisted) but the lion's share was out of my pocket. During this process I was able to meet some incredible people. The stand outs were Richard and Jimmy. Rich and Jimmy were tailors and dressmakers. They were a couple and they gave my fiancée a really good deal on a wedding dress and cocktail dress if she agreed to do some print modeling for their business. They also made me a tuxedo and a suit. I offered to model for them as well and we all had a good laugh at that prospect (OK they were doing most of the laughing - ego still hurts from that one, guys).
The venue we were using was Chijmes. It's the same one used in the move "Crazy Rich Asians". It was back when they had first started offering it up as a venue so it wasn't crazy expensive at the time. Plus, it was a smaller venue for weddings. Usually weddings are held in large hotel ballrooms and are huge affairs (this is what I was told). The families both invite everyone they've ever met to come: Neighbors, business contacts, everyone. They all bring red packets filled with cash. We opted for the "small" wedding.
The Bachelor Party
We had planned bachelobachelorette parties on the same night (separate venues). Lilly's MOH threw hers while Rich and Jimmy threw mine. My best man was my dad (because he's the best man that I know) and so cigars and brandy would have been disappointing to my work friends and my future brother in law and cousins. I don't think anyone was prepared for what happened.
We had the party at the sushi restaurant of a friend of Rich and Jimmy's. It was after hours. We had some incredible sashimi and rolls. I even tried fish sperm. Didn't like it. I asked Jimmy are you sure it's FISH, sperm?? He said of course he'd never do that to me. To be fair, it did taste and smell very fishy. I don't know how human sperm tastes like (or maybe I do now, I don't know).
After the sushi was done, it was time for the entertainment, and oh boy. Rich and Jimmy hired a trans entertainer who sang show tunes. The thing is, she had an incredible voice. She was obviously biologically male, but she really carried herself with a lot more femininity than I've seen from biological women. She sang and told jokes and roasted me pretty thoroughly. My dad was there and he thought it was funny as hell. My friends from work, especially the Aussies and Brits, thought it was great, my future BIL and most of my future cousins did too. Other cousins politely excused themselves and left. I think the free flowing booze and beer kept most people there, though.
After her thoroughly entertaining performance, it was time for the dancers. This is kind of where it went off the rails. Rich and Jimmy hired exotic dancers...but they were all male or trans. Now, to be fair, it wasn't like they didn't tell me about it beforehand. They did. Personally, I thought it would be hilarious to announce that the strippers were here and then have male dancers come out. I have a twisted sense of humor, I suppose. I certainly wasn't going to cheat on the most beautiful woman in the world mere weeks before our wedding, so prostitutes and female dancers were completely out of the question for me. They jokingly suggested male dancers it and we laughed. I thought about it a bit and I guess I'm "take-the-joke-too-far" guy so I encouraged it. Lilly knew about it and thought it was funny as well and wanted me to video tape it while it happened. ("Yeah right you just want to ogle the dancers" "Of course, lah!")
What I wasn't prepared for was the PLATOON of banana hammocks that marched out into the restaurant. Smooth greased up Asian chests everywhere! My dad was of course shocked at first and then looked at me and we started laughing and the ridiculousness of it. My dad stood up and clapped his hand on my shoulder and put a mock serious look on his face. The people immediately around me witnessed my dad telling me that he loved me and accepted my life style choice and that nothing I could say or do would ever change the fact that he and mom loved me and accepted me. Thanks, dad. I was laughing during the whole thing and my future BIL and work buddies who were around me were laughing as well. My dad excused himself and said he had to go find my mom and tell her the "bad news about her future grandchildren" and left ("Can adopt, lah! Can surrogate, meh!" Thanks for the support, guys). My future BIL laughed and said that since all of the available male dancers were at my party, there were none available to attend his sister's party, so she was "safe".
Among the highlights of the evening is that I discovered that a few of my co-workers and future cousins were in fact gay. I was told to stay out of the ladies' room no matter what. I wasn't planning on going in but thanks for the warning. I was proud that we all only vomited in the trash cans and not on the floor (what a waste of some damn good sushi....and fish sperm). Rich and Jimmy stayed next to each other all night. I even saw them holding hands and looking at each other lovingly. To my shame, I was under the common misconception that all gay men were very promiscuous and I kind of expected them to pair off with the dancers. What I saw that night was a very loving monogamous relationship.
The Wedding Day
The day of the wedding came a few days later and I had the good fortune of being the first one in my family to experience the fun and interesting experience of a groom going through a Chinese-style wedding. I say "Chinese-style" because while we did do a lot of the traditions from a Chinese wedding, we did say vows to God before a Christian minister. This was something she insisted on as her family had converted from Taoism to Christianity (but still kept the Taoist traditions and festivals).
First up was the gatecrash. I went over to the her family's apartment and the MOH and bridesmaids stood at the door refusing to let me in unless I gave them $9999.00. Nine is a significant symbol to them. It means "longevity" I think. So the whole idea is for me to haggle the price down by doing challenges and games. I had to do a handstand and walk with my hands. I had to answer trivia questions ("What is her nickname for you?" "Cranky old man" "What is your nickname for her?" "Baby"). BIL and I had to do "the worm". I haggled them down to $99 which I paid to them in a red packet. My BIL and wife chided me for not going lower but my dad was there and was in his 70s and couldn't do any feats of strength.
After I "secured" my bride, we did the traditional tea ceremony with her parents and my parents. Lilly was dressed in a traditional red silk qipao, tailor made by Rich and Jimmy. I gotta tell you people, the qipao really does it for me! Not gonna lie, it was like cupid gut punched me when I saw her dressed in it . My parents were pretty stoic throughout but my mom sympathy cried with Lilly's parents when she tearfully did the tea ceremony with her mother and father. We received red packets from each set of parents. I was told the red packet her parents gave us had most of the bride price we paid in it. Her mom gave her her grandmother's jeweled antique watch and my mom gave her a sapphire ring (sapphire is my birth stone). As we left her home to go to Chijmes, I told her "we're keeping that dress, understand me??" She laughed.
We got to Chijmes, did the photos and she walked down the aisle in a beautiful white dress with a small train behind it with sequins on it. My dad gave me the ring. He was my best man. He was my best man because he's the best man I know. After the wedding, she changed into a champagne colored strapless cocktail dress another Rich and Jimmy original. THREE wardrobe changes, people! THREE! All with different hair and make up and she did it super quick. I don't know what wizardry was invoked but we may be indebted to the hoary netherworld.
We honeymooned at the Fullerton Hotel. The old British colonial Post Office was converted to a luxury hotel in 2001. We stayed there for 3 days ordering overpriced room service ("Go to hawker center, lah! Much cheaper better food, meh!).
Emigration and Immigration
So a little bit before this time, a little event happened in New York. You might have heard about it. Anyway because some sexually repressed incels decided to murder thousands of people, USA's immigration was all jacked up. The INS went bye-bye. Then we had the BCIS for a brief moment, followed by the USCIS. I saw that my project was ending and my company helped me with her immigration. It was a pain, though. It seems like we had new forms to fill out every week while the old ones became obsolete. That's how I remember it, anyway. It was a pretty frustrating time and I almost had to leave her behind (it wouldn't have been permanent but it would be a long time). Luckily we were able to make it time.
For explanation purposes, we didn't get LEGALLY married in Singapore. We had the religious ceremony but no "government contracts" were involved. This is because, at that time at least, it was easier to bring over a fiancée than a wife, for some reason. So Lilly was a "90 Day Fiancée"!! We got married at the county courthouse when we finally were able to go to my new project. We didn't wait 90 days. We did in three (jet lag).
Unfortunately for her, we moved from Singapore, a 24 hour international class city, to a sleepy seaside town in the USA near a military base. Lots of fun was had with that. A total fish out of water story for another time (What is this "coin laundry"? Do you Americans have a place to wash your coins?).
My BIL got married to a beautiful girl and moved to Australia and opened a Bait and Tackle store in Surfer's Paradise on the east coast of Australia. He has 2 daughters. In 2012 he was caught cheating on his wife and lost everything. She moved back to Singapore with his kids, and he kind of struggled for a while. He got another bait and tackle store eventually and tries to see his daughters whenever he can. They don't have a good relationship.
Rich and Jimmy celebrated the decriminalization of homosexuality in Singapore in 2022, but they still can't get married. We still talk from time to time. Writing this, I find myself missing them. I had some really fun times because of them. I've never had better conversations in Singapore than with them while at Lilly's dress fittings (and my suit fittings).
We have been married for 21 years. She has never given up being a Singaporean citizen. She keeps her passport current. She's a "permanent resident" here in the USA. We have three kids, two boys and a girl. We are still married. She still wears her hair in a pony tail with a ball cap when she works out. She still wears that qipao on special occasions, which I try to achieve as often as possible. She's still my Baby and I'm still her Cranky Old Man.
Thanks for reading.

*I apologize for not providing a sketch or drawing, unfortunately my ability to draw the Omnitrix aliens and their fusions would not be sufficient for this task. However, I promise that the following description is as clear as possible:
*note while the fusion project below is entirely mine, the text itself has been revised with the help of GPT chat to improve its clarity:
Skin:

• Red-brown mix of Fourarms and Humungousaur's color scheme.

Body Type:

• Fusion of Humungousaur and Fourarms' anatomy and musculature.

Head and Face:

• Back of Head: Fusion of Big Chill's antennas and Amphibian's body structure, folding open to reveal Brainstorm's brain.
• top Front Head: Fourarms' head shape with Ultimate Waybig's fin.
• Bottom Jaw:Fusion of Ultimate Spidermonkey and Wildmutt's anatomy with orange fur and chin quills. -Left Top Half of Face:Chamalien's skin color scheme .
• -Left eyes: Chamalien's three eyes arranged like Fourarms's.
• -Right eye: Jetray's eye with Ultimate Big Chill's crest.
• Mouth: Echo Echo's mouth with Ripjaw's teeth and Upchuck's tongues.

Neck:

• Fusion of Humungousaur's shape, Swampfire's vine structure, and Amphibian's body structure replacing black parts of Swampfire's body.
• Brainstorm's exoskeleton plates made of Nanomech's robotic body covering its back and sides.

Chest:

• right breast: Fourarms's breast with few plates of Brainstorm's exoskeleton, ribjaws gills on the rib, and three terraspin's holes.
• Left breast :Fusion of Humungousaur's shape, Swampfire's vine structure, and Amphibian's body structure replacing black parts of Swampfire's body with few plates of cannonbolt's armorplate, ribjaws gills on the rib, and three terraspin's holes. -
• Collarbones: Armodrillo's collarbones made of Upgrade's body.
• Armor made of Clockwork's middle torso armor with collar similar to NRG's helmet, and sides similar to Nanomech's collarbone are covering a part of the breast

Stomach:

• Left Side: Goop's slime covered in pieces of Heatblast's volcanic rock made of Alien X's galaxy-like structure.
• Right Side:tangled Amphibian tentacles armored in Water Hazard's exoskeleton.

Back:

• Shoulder blades: fusion of Brainstorm's skull plates and Nanomech's robotic body, containing two Ultimate Echo Echo's disks.
• Lower back: Ultimate Cannonbolt's back armor made of Upgrade's body.

Left Upper shoulder:

• Fusion of Fourarms's shape and mass with Swampfire's vines with Chromastone crystals protruding between vines.

Left Upper Forearm:

• Diamondhead's forearms with NRG's energy form inside. It has also Eatle's horn, Rath's wrist claw, and Swampfire's vines that grew from upper part tangling whole forearm.

Left Hand :

• Diamondhead's hand with Chromastone's fingers and NRG's energy form inside.

Right Upper Shoulder:

• Humungousaur's shoulder with Brainstorm's exoskeleton plates and Lodestar's shoulder spike.

Right Upper Forearm:

• Armodrillo's arms made of Swampfire's vines, and covered in Cannonbolt's armor plates. It has also Way Big's forearm blade, Armodillo's piston made of Upgrade's body, and Ultimate Humungousaur's barrel,

Right Upper Hand:

• Swampfire's hand with Water Hazard's fingers and porthole.

Left Bottom Arm:

• Ultimate swampfire's made of goop's slime, and covered with heatblast's volcanic rocks made of Alien X's galaxy-like body. It also has ultimate swampfire's methane bombs.
• Right Bottom Arm:
  
• Fusion of Water Hazard's exoskeleton and shape, Amphibian's body structure, and Lodestar's color scheme.
  

Right Bottom Hand:

• Lodestar claw made of Amphibian's body covered with Water Hazard's exoskeleton with Lodestar's color scheme. It also have Shockquash's circuit bolt.

Legs( both have Xlr8 legs shape ):

• Right Thigh: fusion of rarh musculature and Amphibian's structure with few Brainstorm's exoskeleton plates.
• Right Calf:fusion of Ultimate Wildmutt's back leg shape, andrath's musculature with cannonbolt's plates and FastTrack's spikes.
• Right Foot: Fourarms' feet with Jury Rigg's claws.
• Left Leg: Fusion of Spidermonkey's fur color, Rath's fur pattern and leg's musculature, Cannonbolt's plates, and FastTrack's spikes.
• Left Foot: Fusion of Spidermonkey's and Rath's feet with Wildmutt's claws.

Tail:

• First Half: Fusion of Humungousaur's mass and musculature with Jetray's shape.
• Second Half: Fusion of Spidermonkey's color pattern and fur with Jetray's shape with Chamalien's sting.

Wings( both are Foldable and can be hide inside Brainstorm's skull plates):

• Left Pair: Big Chill's wings in Jetray's color scheme.
• Right Pair: Big Chill's wings frame with membrane in colors and pattern of Nanomech's wings.

Additional Features:

• Upchuck's stomach.
• Foldable Water Hazard's hood with Upgrade's body pattern.
• four brainstorm's legs made of Nanomech's robotic body that grow from his back.

I 17m struggle with relationships and being attracted to people, I’ve only been attracted to 2 people my whole life so finding people is a struggle. I went to a course in college and met a girl 16f I’ll call Mae. Mae and I became really close talking constantly online for hrs every day having so much in common and As a few months past I started to develop feelings for her and told her I was asexual which she responded saying how she would love to date an asexual since they will love her for her. After this I made my mind up and told my friends that I was gonna meet up with her a few times and then ask her on a date. However I was nervous meeting her again and asked my friend 16f to come with me and a few other friends. However my friend couldn’t come so we brought an other mate 16m to come instead. I’ve been friends with him for yrs however he always dates people for a few weeks, becomes abusive, and leaves before they do. He agreed to come to support me so we all eventually met up. As we started walking around I noticed something in my friend 16m towards Mae, he was constantly talking to her and touching her face always a few cm away from her. He became more energetic when she was around and was constantly joking to her. As time went by he started saying to us all that he was planning on breaking up with his gf at the time. As we all left he left with Mae walking her home which I was unaware of at the time. Later on he started messaging her on the gc flirting with her saying about how amazing she was and how they need to go out again, this caught my attention since he doesn’t message on that gc that we’ve had for 4 yrs often but suddenly was constantly flirting with her on it after I invited her to join. My friend brought this up with me 16f since she noticed this aswell. I brushed it off again but this morning saw him texting her constantly while we were waiting for a test. I’ve left the gc for a short while to figure myself out but I don’t know what to do. My friend 16f is mad at my other mate 17m for not letting me get close to her when I brought him for support when I also find it hard to like people in the first place as he moves on from girl to girl. Please give me advice or am I acting dramatic?

I’m worried about my friend and not sure what to do
I F23 went to see my friend F24 the other night after she texted me wanting to catch up; we’ve known each other since high school. I hadn’t seen her in a while, but she has dealt with substance abuse and talked about her depression with me before. Our relationship hasn’t been romantic/committed for about 2 years, but when she does reach out to me, part of me is worried that she could be in trouble/a bad spot mentally (based off what she texts me), and so I agree to meet up with her to check in and make sure she’s okay. This has happened probably 4 times this year so far, and after this last time, it’s been making me feel anxious. When I walked in, immediately I was hit with the strong smell of cat pee. She opens the door and there’s random clutter sparsely on the living room floor. Not to be impolite or judgmental, this is just to paint the picture. Then when we walk toward the stairs, she points to two piles of salt on the steps and tells me her two pets threw up, and since she doesn’t t have cleaning supplies, she just put rubbing alcohol and salt on it to clean it up. Then we walk upstairs and it still smells like piss everywhere, and she shows me her oom & bathroom. Her toilet had poop and yellow gunk all over the backside of the seat, on the bowl/rim, and the walls surrounding. I’m guessing that she’s not in a good mental position and am trying to get some conversation going to check in and have a good talk. We hit some mj and started talking, but since I rarely do, it hit me pretty hard and I let her have most of it (it was also hers so). Anyways— I got nonverbal at this point and I’m just trying to think of how to make sense of what I’m seeing. All the sudden she starts saying “yeah like you said with the sword!” and i’m like “what??” she then proceeds to tell me she was responding to what I was talking about, when I didn’t say anything. This happens probably 8 more times, where she’ll randomly start talking about something very specific and it sounds like a snippet of conversation, but when I’d ask her “what are you talking about?” she’d say it again or say that she was just responding to what I said (even though I hadn’t said anything). I said “I think you’re having a conversation in your head and then forgetting you’re having it in your head cause I’m not saying anything out here”. She then told me that a voice in her head that says “bad things” was getting loud, and that she was going to lay down. She also got up 2x because she thought she heard someone jiggle her door knob in her house?? I’m not sure what this means and I’m really afraid for her. What should i do?

As the title states, I have a multitude of photos from nights out with an ex friend of mine. Recently our falling out was horrible in which she publicly shamed me for CSA and recovering drug addiction on social media… and while I love the photos I simply cannot keep them on my phone staring at her face. Anyone who can help with removing entire persons from photos, please DM me :)
This is a paid request as it involves several pictures and not just one.

So my girlfriend and I 18 and 19 have been together for a while now and she is the most wonderful girl I know. But she and her girlfriends are currently at Ayia Napa for a graduation party. And I have always been against her going there and being drunk around other men that are there for literally one thing only. But it's a tradition where I'm from.
Anyways I am extremely jealous and have anxious attachment. And before the trip I've told her to update me when she's out at the clubs as much as you can, respect us and be clear that you have a boyfriend. But the thing is that she "forgot" one night to text me or update me anything. And the night after she just sent a snap of her face like once every hour but not an actual update of what they were doing. I felt sick and stayed up the whole night to check and waiting for a response. I know she wouldn't cheat on my but why couldn't she just do what I asked for? I got really upsett and felt betrayed and have remained her the entire trip du update me what she's doing in a foreign country, drunk around men in clubs. And she gets angry at me for apparently not trusting her and just complaining on her. The thing is that I'm in to a snap story with her and the 2 girls she was going with so I could see some things that happened during the night from there. But they hung out with one guy one of the girls met before and he paid for food and drinks and I'm like wtf. Why couldn't she said anything about that to me? When I asked she said that she knew I was gonna overthink and get mad about her and her friends being with him. Well if YOU would've told my what you were doing I would be fine, but when I find out about things like that from the story that her friends posted I got really upset. Sorry if it seems confusing. I just need to know what you think.

Okay, so this might be a lil long so bear with me….
I 23f met this 25m off hinge and we’ve been talking for two months now. We’ve been on 3 dates so far that were pretty chill. I know thats not many but I’ve been busy lately so I’m not tripping honestly.
So he’s been hinting for a while now that he has financial problems he’s tryna to get out of. Mostly credit card debt. I asked how he got so deep in debt and he tells me it’s from spending irresponsibly, going out, going on trips, taking people out. In my head, I’m like….okay we’ve only been on three pretty affordable dates so you know he’s tryna get his finances together no biggie. Rn his situation is good for him bc he doesn’t have rent to pay. But come mid July he has to move out so he and his cousin are looking for a place.
So he’s telling me that I gotta find another job to afford rent bc he’s SO deep in credit card debt that if he pays $1000+ a month (basically a rent payment) he won’t be outta debt till 2026….
So this is where it gets funny to me. I ask him if could we grab lunch together and he’s like yes but he’s at the end of his pay period so can only pay for himself…..once again I’m understand his financial situation so I said let’s just grab coffee. We’re grabbing coffee and we’re talking more about his debt and he’s showing me his bank account and the charges on them. I already knew he was around 8000 in debt on one card but now hes showing me another that’s like $12000 in the hole. So he’s showing me these charges, right? He’s like “this was a date”…” that was a date”…” oh this was a date too”…..Now I’m getting annoyed bc you couldn’t take me to lunch but I’m seeing all these irresponsible payments you’ve made in the past. But once again I’m like he’s obviously tryna be better so it’s cool.
So then I ask him the obvious question. “Why are you on hinge and dating around”. Bc atp this man has already hinted at and falt out told me that he wants to be in a relationship with me. And he’s even told me that when i think of relationships he starts to picture his life and the moves he makes considering the other person. Like now they move as “one”
He replies “Oh well I’m not really tryna impress people anymore like i used to be so I’ve changed the way I approach date…. so now I just take people to the HIGH museum where tickets cost like $36 dollars”……..yall….IM THE FUCKING ONE HE TOOK TO THAT MUSEUM. Idk if he was tryna be funny but I didn’t find that amusing at all. I was oh okay.
But then it gets better. So even though he’s being forced to move mid-July he decides to buy a cat. I have a cat so I think it’s EXTREMELY inconsiderate for him to do that when the cat has to readjust to somewhere new again. Like why not just wait?
(Some quick background)This guy also doesn’t have a car rn. He’s been using his cousin’s car occasionally bc his main crashed in Jan and rn he’s “building” one…. ig? But since he’s moving it’s lowkey imperative that he get that car together bc he may need to drive to work. So he’s been working on it and he said now it works in the sense that he can get to his destination and back.
So the day is approaching for him to go pick the cat up and he tells me he’d like me to come. I don’t make promises but I end up FaceTiming him telling him yea sure I’ll come. He’s like okay great. At least 90 MINUTES later we’re still on ft he started laughing and I was like what’s so funny and he said “Idt you should come anymore bc I have to take my car and it’s a little embarrassing”. I ask what’s wrong with it he starts with there are cobwebs and no AC. I’m like clean the damn cobwebs tf and the ac is whatever I’m not in there long. Then he says it’s more than just that. In my head, I’m like it can’t be that bad you got it moving….. LMAO I was wrong.
He shows me the car on ft….the car (a coupe) has NO windows except for the left rear. There’s a sunroof opening…no window. The passenger door is zip-tied shut?!! I asked how tf am I supposed to get in and he says “climb through the window?” Then he says the fucking door opens a little when turning bc it’s zip tied. I ask is there a damn seat belt. He says “I have to bolt it on in the morning for you” then proceeds to explain how he would do that….IM SORRY? This man is really on here showing me a diy seatbelt like he can’t be fucking serious. Then he showed me the front and there’s no hood on the car. I ask him….so the hood is going on right? …..nope….THERES NO FUCKING HOOD. …Engine…. just exposed….He said it’s cool the hood just provides some “crash protection” LMAOOO. Then as a joke I asked are the tires even rolling and he said “well they’re not aligned”. Bruh mind you the place we’re going is a good 30 mins drive on highways.
Atp i say to him “irdk what you want me to say”…. This man responds….”well you could say the car is a work in progress but I still wanna come”…… Baffled. Im baffled.
What bothers me the most is that he’s so fucking worried about how “embarrassed” hed be by a car that I’m pretty sure is illegal to ride around in. Rather than realizing that I’m more fucking worried about my safety. Like zip tied shut? Bolted seatbelt? No hood? Now windows? Like I can’t even hide my face in the bitch.. Then he got the nerve to say it’s loud asl. Like he thought he was finna pu to my place in that bitch and I’d be okay with hopping in the window??!! And why’d it take him so long to finally say something? We were on ft for a LONG time before I asked “what’s so funny” and ig the shit was funny to him. Like obviously you dont care about yourself….but you clearly dont care about me or the cat. Like i deadass thought about the cat and wanted to go just to give that poor baby some comfort. The adult thing to do would’ve been to ask them to drop her off, schedule for another day, or just take it as a sign that maybe you dont need the cat rn. but NO he’s so in need of a “companion” that he can’t even consider how this is bad for the cat. Like i know getting a cat is not like having a baby but it’s still another investment.
The icing on the cake is I found out this man paid $700 for that cat….. so you pay $700 for a cat and you don’t even have a way to go get her. Then at one point he’s showing me this pic of a bunch of boxes amazon dropped off at his place. I’m like oh those are car parts right? ….nope! Those are things for the damn cat!! Like this man bought the cat a cat tower, scratching post, toys all that. Im like why tf did you buy all this shit yet when you have other priorities rn? Im all for buying these things but couldn’t it wait till next month when you have a place? Like the lady even said the cat is shy so one cat owner to “another” (ig🙄) that cat is not finna use none of those for a good while and youre gonna be moving by the time she probably will get comfortable. So youre traumatizing that cat for no reason and wasting money rn. Also why not adopt a cat?! There are SO MANY cats looking for homes. I adopted and am proud of that bc i couldnt imagine my baby still out there with no home…..This boy says….. “i WaNtEd ThAT sPECifIC bREed”….. im sorry….. i didn’t know beggars were choosers now. Like you should be shopping for a place to stay not no damn cat.
Dont get me wrong ive had a few good months talking to him and i like him but this whole situation but him in a bad light for me. Im alll for saving money but if YOU said you want a relationship with me. And that a relationship to you entails considering the other person when making other decisions and moving as one.
But you haven’t taken me out for a month now, I ask to grab lunch together but you’re telling me I have to pay then while on the coffee date youre showing me all this money youve spent on past people who are NOT here….. like you sound and look so dumb to me. Like you’re unserious. Go take your cat on lunch dates and have her pay bc you obviously wasnt thinking I want a relationship with ME when buying that cat. It’s giving you want a relationship just to have one and will take it from anyone ….and anything ig.
My friend even said if he’s asking me to settle riding around in that car with him now imagine what he’ll expect me to do when 5 years from now. Like at this stage he SHOULD be tryna get you to like him just like he put himself in $20000+ of credit card debt tryna get other people to like him. Like this is the same guy that told me flew a girl out once.
I havent voice my concerns about this bc rn im more focused on my studies. I have a big test coming up but he’s highkey hinted that hes waiting until im done with the test to ask me to be his gf. And I hoenstly dont know if this is someone I voice my concerns about and we work through it or just cut it now.

So, this summer is THE summer we make our Southern Facing garden into an area for us to chill, with a seating area, a chimnea, BBQ, and make it aesthetic, rather than just a wildflower refuge with my carnivorous plants in pots on an old table in the corner.
As such, my plants (picture 1) have been condensed into their permanent area (picture 2+) 😁👍
My most painful realisation is the loss of my Drosera Madagascarensis. I have had huge success in propagating every other kind of plant…upto and including composting a few dozen D.Binata Extrema clones, Dionaea Muscipula (various) clones and more D.Binata plants than is necessary for any one human to ever own 🤣😜
The prices we must pay eh?
I hope you enjoy! 😁👍

I'm on the board of a small local hobby club (roughly 200 people on the mailing list) that holds monthly in-person meetings. Our current website is hosted by Wild Apricot, who just upped the yearly fees from $600 to $800 for the website, hosting, and mailing list service for a maximum of 200 recipients.
I had previously advocated to change away from Wild Apricot at the $600 price point, but got pushback from the rest of the board ("changing websites is hard!"). However after the price increase they're open to a change.
If I understand correctly, there are no html/css files for the site that I can download to rehost somewhere else inexpensively, as Wild Apricot is apparently a template-based web design service. I've done simple html/css for a website before (recently), but have no time to cook up another site like this, and need a drag and drop based website service. The club site has just 6 pages, and other than pictures and text, only has a calendar of events, and a member login that allows members to see a simple interface showing whether they're paid yearly dues or not - pretty simple stuff overall.
We're looking at Constant Contact for our mailing list needs. I've heard of Word Press, Squarespace, and Wix for simple website creation and hosting. Are these the simplest / best cost services that would meet the fairly simple needs of our website? We don't take dues payments on the site, or even have a contact form (we direct members to our facebook page for web-based inquiries), so our needs are pretty modest.

Hi guys,
Thinking back, this is not my first Reddit post of a similar nature. I think all my life I’ve been addicted to things (weed, porn, “self help”, exercise). This is just one that’s been the most detrimental. I am a problem gambler and need help. I think I also need a place to just let it all out. Hopefully people will read and comment/resonate but I’m literally unable to concentrate at work because things are bad again. I apologize for it being long and you will all likely skip but if anyone reads, thank you.
I have a lot of trauma and am very lonely a lot of times. I had a bad experience being social and I think people pick up on my extreme awkwardness but they do not make me feel welcome, they come across judgy and I feel like I’m performing a dance begging for acceptance. So I spend even more time online (and have been like that since childhood) and don’t get much social interaction. This is relevant to how I got so sucked in so far.
Growing up, my parents were not only strict, but very strict about money. We were poor and they always told me to avoid debt but made it more about school debt (which I did avoid). They definitely talked about predatory credit card practices etc, but the one thing they did not ever instill in us was mitigating problem spending and gambling. Not just me but my mom and sister have really bad spending habits on food and unnecessary purchases…but I’m getting a bit ahead…
I didn’t get a credit card until a bit later, and didn’t have a job until about 2018-19 at 21. Even then, I barely used the CC and also barely drank. I hated gambling at a young age because I only know it as the casino in big cities with the excessive alcohol and lights and cigar smells I hated. Of course I was on my high horse at a younger age saying people were just “paying money to lose money and that made no sense”…My parents went to Vegas a lot, not weekly but every maybe 3-6 months because of comps. And us living close. I was mostly there just to watch my siblings and never went down to actually be in the casino. The vibes just always made me uncomfortable.
The one thing I did do was buy stocks. I remember briefly trying to understand the day trading stuff and I was so overwhelmed I just stuck to my traditional buying stocks and leaving them like a savings. Did good all the way until COVID, everything was down and I had to quit my job to move for school and was so burnt out from working (as “essential” while everyone else was not working) that I just took time off from work for like a year and a half. Spent all my stock market savings that was basically just all my money minus the interest made because of the COVID dip. I sold at the worst time possible but chose to do that instead of just getting work or even trying to learn about getting unemployment for my “mental health” LOL.
Right in my senior year of college I had a roommate who used a draft fantasy sports book. Never knew about money lines or anything about sports period,because I was too lazy to figure out sports rules, let alone betting line math…but I wanted to be accepted as a man and thought sports would be a good way to learn and build friendships…and “investing” money into it seemed like a worthwhile trade.
He explained oveunder props. Easy as cake. You think they’ll go over a certain line and you pick that. Even easier to upload your card and make an account. I thought it would be harmless…
I made one, did okay, but no crazy bets just $30-50 MAX like every couple of weeks. Trying to get into sports and fit in with the boys…. Didn’t care too much about losing $20 here and there and that’s my problem…
I then bring this up to a classmate in our data science class in 2022 wondering if there’s ways people can track player data…who tells me about “tailing” people who post their player picks online. Never knew about that/that there was already a market (bc I was new to sports).
He tells me about a guy he follows. Guy has a site with “the best prop data”. Clearly know this other guy is just selling his services but the service seems so beneficial. “Best hit rates in the game!” “No one has data like this”. Straight snake oil salesman tactics and I’m so aware of it, but it’s like I just didn’t care. Of course it’s just like ESPN data all on a histogram and not that revolutionary, and it’s like I already know I’m signing up for getting played but I just accept it(likely because I have settled for a lot in my life). I get a membership. I think oh I’ll make a ROI worth the cost of the membership and more! Right….
That was in about March-ish I think of last year. (Yea it was, because I specifically remember the old classmate asking me about March madness…). From March to June I had losses, but nothing super horrible, I didn’t really track it but I had never spent more than $100 max and probably only spent around $175 a month which was about the rate of all my subscriptions combined. but around this time I had also just had a very traumatic experience getting robbed and abandoned drunkenly during a party on campus. Somehow I made it back from the party to my house and allegedly my roommate helped me vomit/clean up but I woke up to my wallet and phone gone.
I felt violated, confused because I couldn’t remember certain events, sad that my “friends” didn’t even have my back at certain points. I was angry and really embarrassed and depressed and felt like I couldn’t trust ANYONE around me. Of course, them feeling second hand embarrassment from me, stopped inviting me out and our interactions got so awkward after that. I felt like now my reputation was just that drunk idiot who did god knows what while blacked out. And didn’t really have a lot of support.
My gambling got worse, but I didn’t make that much money so I also didn’t really bet that much either? It’s kind of a blur around that time now and I don’t really remember but I don’t think I was on the group chats/apps nearly as much as I am now. I also deleted them around graduation time because I needed to focus and I needed to save $$$ for my move out.
Fast forward I was in okay-ish shape: was able to get an apartment and higher paying job…but my relationship was strained with my now ex girlfriend. It was bad. I redownloaded the apps during this time. I was trying to plan out our future and she was not helping me. I was basically doing everything myself in the relationship and felt like my “investment” in our relationship wasn’t going anywhere…as she was not communicating and not helping me plan, so i began using that money for bets.
Initially it was “it’s just for fun now that I have more income! I can afford it now” then it was “oh it will be like a side hustle”.
But I got worse. I felt so disconnected and burnt out from my new job in finance, also very numb to large amounts of $$ on screens all day that I started betting hundreds daily. Then tie in disconnected from my ex and now had no friends. I was numb and needed to feel something, and alcohol was not enough. I’d drink here and there but never enough to get completely trashed like before because I was scared of that.
Now remember the subscription? This sub comes with a “chat room” FULL of a bunch of enabling children and their ring leader who makes the datasets. I used to respect what the guy does but I have so many problems with his business model: advertising slightly over 50/50 guesses as a worthwhile investment, getting his data out 5 minutes before games start (obviously so he can make his picks on his own first and then tell the followers after), calling his own patrons idiots and trying to make it sound like he’s the best gambler in the world and that if we’re losing we are just “not doing it right” when he’s really using $100,000s of dollars from subscribers to make his for fun bets while people desperately cling to some sort of “mathematical explanation” for why Alpha McThree is a better pick than Johnny Appleseeds.
I digress again. Basically there’s people around my age (20s) older (40s) and possibly younger all in these chats enabling each other to bet. You feel rushed because you have to “beat the prop bumps” when they move the lines. You feel constantly on edge and that anxiety feels good because of the potential payout, and then horrible when you’re off by one or two players and lose everything.
I became obsessed. It is probably the combination of the rush, the colors, the screen lighting in a more comfortable way to social media…the people encouraging you or congratulating you or worse bonding over shared loss, you start to feel in community.
Mind you, the community itself was toxic. I am part of the LGBT community but never disclosed, and there is so much homophobia and transphobia, sometimes even racism (I mean I get that I’m positing this to Reddit LOL) but it’s just weird to me as a POC who is part of this community to see all that stuff everyday and then say those are my people….and to pay a subscription to be apart of it…it felt like a weird digital fraternity. It felt “cool” to have a badge for my sports book, for people to recognize my nickname, to see the same names everyday, it felt like routine.
Everyday I’d wake up and bet. When I got COVID in December the amounts doubled and I was spending $500 in minutes instead of spread across days. I didn’t even care anymore. I’d keep playing and eventually lose it. Every single time like “I’m just gonna play enough to make my money back and pay off some of the debt and then delete everything!”
It never happens. I’m still $6k in debt, am -$230 overdraft and am now doing the one thing I really said would never do: ask my dad for help. I can’t concentrate on work because I’m so overwhelmed. I just got paid, still two weeks left and I have absolutely no money anywhere. And since I haven’t even paid my mom back the first time I am worried about asking again.
My dad doesn’t really reach out, but he texted me the other day. So instead of responding I just sent him a screenshot of my overdraft and told him I had to pay my apartment security deposit (which is true, technically) but it is really the stupid $600 bet that put me overdraft. I basically paid X amount on my credit card, didn’t see it post, told myself “maybe I forgot to do it” and said I had enough for the bets, lost three idiotic bets and then both the misses and the CC payment posted.
I feel like the “bending” of the truth will l start piling up and that things will stop checking out. He’s probably wondering how I’m overdraft and can connect two and two together (he’s seen my screenshots of bets when I was up, and asked me when I get paid and I’m too scared to say I got paid TWO DAYS AGO and am out -$2000) so I’m even more embarrassed and feel like I’m disappointing everyone.
I already owe my mom, and they aren’t even that rich at all so I feel horrible taking their money trying to pay myself back and then ending up back here again. But I am equally worried of them going nuclear and me being trapped back home/having to give up control of my bank account bc of it.
I feel stuck at my job because I need it to pay off my debt and save money/pay bills. I hate it so much, but need to stay here because of how bad the market is and I think dealing with the stress enables my behavior. I feel worse because I should have $20k saved up by now but instead I’m now total down -$26k. (The 20 I would’ve had saved plus my credit card).
So it’s just my lack of control and unnecessary purchase staring me in the face. Every day. While it takes me weeks to make even a dent in my debt. I literally have nothing in my fridge right now. I don’t know what I’m going to eat next week. And throughout all this my ex and I still talk, she still buys me lunch, she is a saint but our dynamic would not work
I’m meeting with my therapist today, and I contemplate either getting a new one specializing in addiction or stopping constantly one because of the cost but two because I’ll talk about it but I feel like I’m not even changing or doing the work…
I feel alone trying to get out of this hole and like this debt will follow me forever. I also wonder if I feel like I’m addicted to the wallowing too? Like now I have a reason to stay depressed.
How do I get better? Is there even any hope for me? I feel like I’m messing my life up and constantly at the mercy of something else and not myself… people around me have cars and solo apartments and I’m living check to check in debt with no purpose. How do I deal with stress?

rant session
that dc picture...I'm still blocked ik fs but I go on there every once in a while. that art style isn't yours. it can't be. whatever the case, I'm happy you're pulling through with essence flux, just hoping you killed off nohinara or replaced her with someone. my friend, you make me heart hurt often. but, nevertheless, I'm glad ch'en is finally designed to your liking. take care of yourself. you're doing a good job.
that was for the one I rant about on here often.
I recently got caught up with a man in uniform. his name is Noah but he's cuban. throws me off a but bc I think of your average white utahn. that's not the case. he's in the army out in Colorado and I'm set to meet him soon. we've bonded well and have came together nicely. his Spanish is really nice too. I'll be seeing him in July, I'm excited and can't wait to go on little dates like we planned. after that, I'm out for Kenya. big jump in my opinion.
I've stayed up countless nights since graduation, commissioning art pieces and getting sent home early from my job for who knows what. I've seemed to rack up more money drawing than actually going to my little 9-5. strange how the world works, but it's life.
I was sent my college registration information and was excited in a way. I can be on campus with my brother and will be there for when my sister comes into high school. that high school on a college campus thing really is privilege. but the problem I might face, z. idk why it comes back to him, maybe bc I'm studying in the fields his parents work in? idk
to wrap it up, I'm happy to say I've made my own recovery in the last 2 months which I'm relieved. surely the experience hurt and it will impact me a bit but I've found healthy coping mechanisms. I just hope he's doing the same and I know I should move on from talking about him now that I've been friendly with Noah. Maybe once I graduate, I could join the army as an officer like Noah tipped off and we could both be stationed in Japan like we planned. life goes on. it's a refreshing breath.

I have a coworker that I’m uncomfortable working with. We work in healthcare. He was full time 7 years ago, took another job but stayed on as PRN, is now coming back full time. This man has a history of being volatile, abusive, and inappropriate. He has inappropriately touched female adult students, screamed at people in their faces, sent disgusting text messages to coworkers, he’s been rude to patients and their families, etc. I avoid him as much as possible when he is assigned shifts that I’m working. I’ve discussed his actions with multiple managers over the course of 7 years. The latest director said that he can’t find anything in his personnel file. I told my manager today that I’m uncomfortable working with him and asked why, with his history, he was allowed to come back full time. She said that no one came forward with a reason to not bring him back. I said, no one asked me. She shrugged and said that they haven’t had any complaints since the last talk that they had with him. It’s obvious that they don’t care. I’d like to write an email to management to be on record that I’m uncomfortable with this situation. I’m looking for suggestions on what to write.

Well the thing he knows my existence and I know his. And then out the blue I text him hi (don’t ask me how I get his number) now I don’t know what to do. I feel like a creep. Now he probably saw my wasapt picture witch is me as a little kid and figure it out this was me. He asked who is this and don’t want to make things more creepy. How can I get out of this the most decent way? I don’t know why I did it. I was like why we never get to talk let’s text him, what a big mistake help me please I’ll never chase a guy ever again

So I recently got back on the bandwagon of facial skin care and I realized why I stopped caring about my skin for so long in the first place. About five years ago I started getting pretty bad facial acne out of nowhere. It was a slow process, but it was definitely noticeable. I’m currently 22 years old, male, white, and ginger. I have very sensitive skin. To the point that I can’t use salicylic based cleansers because they break me out so bad. So I switched to benzoyl peroxide based cleansers… which are really harsh, and you guessed it! Break me out. I even adjusted how often I would wash my face, and using the littlest amounts possible for every product, ESPECIALLY moisturizer. Also drum roll please… I’m allergic to every single moisturizer I’ve ever tried. I can’t keep trying new moisturizers because it’s too expensive and a waste of a product that I realize quickly I can’t use. The last two that were my favorite were the vanecream moisturizer, and Olay sensitive. But guess WHAT!!!!! They broke me out :) I don’t even know what to do at this point because I just switched to another moisturizer and am noticing that I’m getting little bumps and weird redness on my forehead now. My acne isn’t even as bad as it used to be, it used to be horrific. It’s very mild now but I want it to GO AWAY COMPLETELY. But nothing I do has ever been good enough. I’m starting to think that drinking water isn’t even good for my skin lmao. Oh and I’m allergic to aquaphor and Vaseline. I’ll still use them sometimes because it’s hard to care about anything anymore but ya know. Anyway. I just need advice on what other people do, and other changes I can make. Thank youuuu have a Good Friday :) might include pictures later

There have been multiple articles about how in 2024, companies are going "woke no more."
A few years ago, it was not uncommon for companies to take bold, public stances on various prominent political and social issues such as Black Lives Matter, LGBTQ+ rights, abortion, embracing "stakeholder capitalism," opposing Trump's immigration ban from several Muslim countries, officially endorsing Hillary Clinton or Joe Biden in their respective elections, etc. Mainstream corporate America invested heavily in ESG and DEI initiatives.
However, with the mass tech layoffs starting in 2022, which kicked off layoffs in other industries, ESG and DEI roles have been dramatically slashed, as companies became more lean to focus on revenue generation and profit. Even workplace affinity groups have been receiving less funding for cultural events.
In the face of potential legal challenges, companies have been rethinking corporate diversity hiring, and affirmative action initiatives, moving more to a purely merit-based hiring system.
And notably, companies like Google which used to have a history of employee protesting over social issues (see here and here), had a zero tolerance policy of employees protesting the war in Gaza and Google's contracts with Israeli companies. Those protesters were swiftly and brutally fired, with Google CEO Sundar Pichai coming out saying politics is not appropriate to discuss at work. This is despite Google tolerating employee dissent in the late 2010s.
Some argue that the Israel - Hamas War also triggered an anti-woke backlash, because while BLM, trans rights, abortion, etc., have broad support among those who are socially liberal, Israel/Palestine is an issue that divides the political left. See all of the Democrats upset over Joe Biden's handling of Israel/Gaza, with some saying they won't vote for him or even calling him "Genocide Joe."
Harvard's Faculty of Arts and Sciences will no longer require diversity statements in hiring process. Job applicants will no longer have to submit diversity statements when applying to Harvard University's largest division. MIT will also stop asking faculty applicants for diversity statements.
Even in our culture more broadly, you have Big Iger, CEO of Disney, publicly coming out in early 2024 and saying he thinks over the past several years, Disney focused too much on socially progressive messaging on LGBTQ+ issues and race as opposed to creating movies and TV shows that first and foremost entertaining. He says Disney will be pivoting away from DEI in programming.
I'm finishing up my first year at HBS, and a professor I chatted with said the zeitgeist is definitely shifting, with the social landscape in corporate America being far, far different in 2024 from how it was in the late 2010s, especially after Trump was elected in 2016. Back then, it became "cool" to be outspoken on left-wing social issues (much of corporate America remained fiscally conservative).
However, over legal challenges, the divisive Israel/Hamas war, and anti-DEI backlash, corporate cultures are going back to more of the zeitgeist in the 2000s and early 2010s, where politics is a "taboo" subject, and those who speak openly about it at work will be penalized and potentially fired.
My professor said this has mirrored what he's seen in our HBS class. He said the Class of 2025 is noticeably much less politically outspoken than even the Class of 2022 or Class of 2023. Even as the Israel - Gaza war rages on and the undergrad campus was a political flashpoint for demonstrations and encampments, the business school students have largely stayed silent.
My professor said even in 2022 or 2023, before October 7, he heard more students speak up openly on both sides of Israel and Palestine, but since then, after the initial attack, both sides have said publicly quiet for the most part.
And this goes for other social issues like trans rights, abortion even, etc. People are still likely personally socially liberal and will vote Democratic in the election, but aren't shoving their opinions down others' throats.
Moreover, in the past, students used to show more interest in "social impact" type roles, such as impact investing, nonprofit consulting, DEI roles, Human Resources, sustainability, etc. Now, students by and large are focusing on mainstream capitalist make me money roles, like investment banking, consulting, tech product management (to the extent it exists), with a huge swing toward finance recruiting.
Does this track with what you are seeing? To me it's interesting, as it shows a reversion to the 2000s era culture as opposed to a continuation of the late 2010s. The 2020s are shaping up to be a VERY different cultural decade than the 2010s at this rate.

46, transitioned about 4 years ago, just prior to covid blowing up. I came out the gate raring to go and over the subsequent years my interest, in fact, my whole willingness to be all that femme is just...gone. I have a closet half full of dresses I never wear any more because they don't make me feel any more like a woman. They just kinda grate on my nerves that this is 'how I'm supposed to perform' so the world sees me a certain way. I haven't touched my makeup because...I'm busy, I have a business, I don't have the time in the mornings to deal with this and I can't deal with the stuff running down my face all day. I do have my little moments, sometimes I almost inadvertently get correctly gendered, but, most days I don't have the energy left to perform.
I'm middle aged, fat, tall, still catching up on electrolysis since the covid lockdowns shut off both my laser tech and electrologist until things calmed down. I'm sitting in my office in jeans and a soccer jersey 'cause it's comfy and was on top of laundry pile. Yes, it's mens, because they don't make womens shit for people my size (tall, fat, broad).
I'm really hashing it out with my pshrink and feeling incredibly isolated, I'm either raging at the constant pressure I feel to be feminine so that the world sees me right, or acting the way I feel but finding my life consists of constant misgendering and a feeling of being...a failure.
I dunno, wall of text, sorry, I just had to vent, this is kinda gutting me right now. I'm not a guy, I am not fucking male, but god damn I'm starting to gaslight myself into thinking some really awful shit.

Quick Note: added Necrom Section. also note this time it is 12 days, not usual 7 :)
Activation: ingame Crown Store -> ESO Plus tab → click “Free Trial!”.
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INSTANT or QUICK Freebies:
Dungeons DLC: - Shadow of the Hist: Heroic personality -- Enter either the Ruins of Mazzatun or the Cradle of Shadows (Shadowfen) - Horns of the Reach: Bullhorns emote -- Enter either Falkreath Hold or Bloodroot Forge (Craglorn) - Dragon Bones: hat: Renegade Dragon Priest Mask -- Enter either Fang Lair or Scalecaller Peak (Bangkorai/Stormhaven) - Wolfhunter: Werewolf Hunter Hat -- Enter either Moon Hunter Keep or March of Sacrifices (Reaper’s March/Greenshade) - Wrathstone: hat: Ayleid Royal Crown -- Enter either Frostvault or Depths of Malatar (Eastmarch/Gold Coast) - Scalebreaker: outfit style: Dread-Aurelian Mask -- Enter either Lair of Maarselok or Moongrave Fane (Grathwood /Northern Elsweyr) - Harrowstorm: Emote: Wickerman Mishap -- Enter either Unhallowed Grave or Icereach (Bangkorai/Wrothgar) - StoneThorn: Pet: Energetic Dwarven Shock-Spider -- Enter either Castle Thorn or Stone Garden (Western Skyrim/Blackreach: Greymoor Caverns) - Flames of Ambition: Outfit weapon style Fire-Forged Maul -- Enter either The Cauldron or Black Drake Villa (Deshaan/Gold Coast) - Waking Flame: Scorion Pyreling non-combat pet – Enter either Red Petal Bastion or the Dread Cellar (Glenumbra/Blackwood) - Ascending Tide: Abyssal Embrace Face Markings - Enter either Coral Aerie or Shipwright's Regret (Summerset/Rivenspire) - Lost Depths: Mulberry Hermit Crab non-combat pet - Enter either Earthen Root Enclave or Graven Deep (both surface entries are in High Isle/Amenos, so if you don't own High Isle chapter use map to teleport inside or group with a friend, who is inside and teleport to them) - Scribes of Fate: has no “immediate” loyalty reward. Despite declaring the “Lost in the Woods” emote being granted for just visiting Bal Sunnar or Scrivener's Hall, actually it is rewarded on completing BOTH dungeons on Normal difficulty (relevant discussion: https://forums.elderscrollsonline.com/en/discussion/629124/official-discussion-thread-scribes-of-fate-update-37-now-live-on-pc-mac ) Entry points: Bal Sunnar – Stonefalls & Scrivener's - Hall The Rift. - Scions of Ithelia - Bascially, nothing. Completing both Oathsworn Pit and Bedlam Veil in Normal yeilds you only 10 Achievement points, nothing more.
Game-maps.com has ESO+ group dungeons color-coded on the Tamriel map: https://game-maps.com/ESO/Tamriel-ESO-World-Map.asp
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Zone DLC:
- Orsinium: Pet: Echalette -- Enter Orsinium capital city (also: quests for Orzorga provisioning recipes, get Briarheart dagger quest reward for your StickerBook) - Thieves Guild: Pet: Jackal -- Enter Abah's Landing. Unlock TG skill line (also grants Thieves Guild Leathers costume) - Dark Brotherhood: Personality: Assassin -- Enter Gold Coast zone. Unlock DB skill line (the second quest in DB story unlocks the Shrouded Armor costume) - Clockwork City: Pet: Scintillant Dovah-Fly -- Enter the Brass Fortress (also do quests for provisioning recipes, the later are bound, so it worths the efforts). Collecting Precursor dummy fragments is up to you as it is quite time consuming and the dummy itself has too low HP. - Murkmire: Pet: Verdigris Haj Mota -- Enter Lilmoth (quest Death Among the Dead-Water rewards with a Fire Rock memento) - Dragonhold: Outfit Style: Topal Corsair Hat -- Enter Southern Elsweyr (questing unlocks other pages). Questing unlocks Mask of Alkosh hat and The Za’ji’s Dragonguard Uniform costume - Markarth: Outfit Style: Arkthzand Anfractuosity Shroud -- Enter The Reach (questing grants head and body markings, and Witchwise Headdress hat collectible) - The Deadlands – Oblivion Explorer’s Headwrap - Enter Fargrave for the first time (its’ wayshrine is unlocked) - Firesong- Firesong Obsidian Mask – Enter Galen
- Summerset: nothing immediate. fish in Artaeum for bound provisioning recipes (otherwise they are obtainable by purchasing Waterlogged Psijic Satchels, which is an expensive lottery), unlock Psijic skill line (progressing it also unlocks buying bound furnishing recipes at the Artaeum trader). Also one of three Antiquities leads for Music Box “In Dreams and Memories” drops in Summerset. And fast to obtain “Alinor Allemande” dance emote from the Antiquity lead.
- Elsweyr: nothing immediate. (Despite parts of Peryite Skeevemaster costume drop in Orcrest public dungeon, parts of a Grisly Mummy Tabby pet drop in Rimmen Necropolis all these are not bound and may be purchased from Guild Traders any time), zone quest unlocks Hall of the Lunar Champion housing (a free manor sized house!!), and Dragonslayer Style head & shoulders outfit styles. Three wings of the Hall of the Lunar Champion manor are unlocked by completing 1) Elsweyr story, 2) Dragonhold story, 3) completing both Lair of Maarselok and Moongrave Fane on normal difficulty. Also completing Sunspire Trial on normal unlocks purchases of the beautiful Akatosh Chancel doors (furnishing for housings) for 100K gold from Achievement furnisher in Rimmen.
- Greymoor - nothing immediate, but Antiquities are numerous.. It takes like 6 ..7 hours to level up Scrying and Excavation up to level 7 to be able to get mythics (faster moving speed is preferable – get crafted Adept Rider set or Coward's Gear set). I did it on 3 characters and stayed at Artaeum doing first greens, then cycling between greens and blues till a purple lead (one time per location) at level 5 scrying (normally 3..4 hours depending on how fast you do move). Then i preferred to stay at Artaeum for approx 3 more hours repeating green-blue cycles to get level 7 (the alternative is to go Green-Blue-Purple in the base game zones & Artaeum (purple part is non-repeatable on account) to unlock the 100,000 gold Al-Esh Ascension Coin lead, but you have to unlock Eyevea (by completing Mages Guild questline) and get 10 in scrying to dig for this gold), and, basically, as other zones are bigger and you would most likely have to kill mobs on your way – this method of skill line progression would take more time then staying in small cosy Artaeum. Well.. this is up to you to decide.
Alcast has a good & comprehensive Antiquties guide: https://alcasthq.com/eso-antiquities-system-guide-greymoor-chapte His guide also includes a link to the levelling guide, where author recommends green-blue-purple method. ESO Hub has good information about Mythics and theirs leads https://eso-hub.com/en/sets/category/mythic Friendly reminder: Mythics are reconstructable at any time (and theirs level is fixed CP160), but not deconstructable.
There are some cosmetic Antiquities items https://en.uesp.net/wiki/Online:Antiquity_Leads#Cosmetics_and_Outfit_Styles
Also pick up the Alinor Allemande emote (Summerset), and, maybe Aldmeri Symphonia music box. Also get fancy crafting stations: Anvil of Old Orsinium, Druidic Provisioning Station, Daedric Enchanting Station, and the Shipbuilder's Woodworking Station. The Ebon Dwarven Wolf mount is 17 parts, so it might take you too much time to get them all in one week, though it is doable, if the random number generator is loyal to you. DisplayLeads addon is awesome and extremely helpful (https://www.esoui.com/downloads/info2651-DisplayLeads-withLocationInfo.html)
- Blackwood nothing seriously big, but you can get a free Bog Dog pet (Lost in the Wilds quest) and some nice furnishings (including a canoe). Companions are not on the table. To kill your time there is the 15 pieces Blackwood Tapestry antiquity furnishing (check Alcast for the guide if interested). Also Thrafey Debutante Gown is a stylish costume obatined with 50 Scaly Cloth Scraps (tradeable) fragments from the Silent Halls public dungeon.
- High Isle. Again, nothing immediate. Cosmetics include non-combat pet Jerall Rescue Dog acquired during Tales of Tribute questline, non-combat pet Coral Haj Mota: 25 Coral Haj Mota Decoys from the Spire Of The Crimson Coin and 25 Coral Haj Mota Lures from Ghost Haven Bay (these are tedious to get tradeable fragments)
Courtly Traveling Attire costume plus head and body marking you get during the zone story line quest Nighthunter's Cowl hat is one lead Antiquity
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- Necrom. Nothing immediate. Long term offers include: Emissaries Enclave - big house, 28 quests 1.5M gold, The Fate Scryer Costume – completing the quest “Chronicle of Fate”, shroom tender style - different style pages unlocked by achievements, new ToT desk – Almalexia. nix-ox steed mount would be hard or, probably impossible to get, I can not tell for sure (please comment on that), Abyssal Cephaliarch’s Face Art – completing the quest “A Hidden Fate”, Body Art – completing the quest “A Calamity of Fate”. Also The Prism of Moribund Sapience – completing the quest “In a Troubled House”. The Meln’s Soul Gem memento – completing the quest “Spirit of Fate”
Necrom Master Angler achievememnt unlocks Shroomtender Shoes style, though i normally do not mention Master Angler achievements for DLC zones, as catching all them rare fishies consumes the enormous amount time and only one other Master Angler achievement rewards directly - becoming the Deadlands Master Angler allows to purhcase a Sulfur Pool achievement furnishing. So them fishing shoes style is for the most reckless of you, daredevils! I don't have that much time to complete that. :
Other Shroomtender style pages are unlocked by doing all deleves, world bosses, quests and other activities in Necrom zones.
Berylglow Nix-Ox Steed mount requires the Savior of Necrom achievement with 5 coditions. The third of these is Complete all 3 Daily Job achievements for Necrom's Stalwart Protector one of three requirements for that is "Complete 30 Bastion Nymic Daily Quests for Ordinator Tandasea in Necrom" (i doubt participating in your friends' shared daily Nymic counts, if you have already completed your own daily Nymic, so, here, in my understanding, is the catch. please, correct me if i am wrong and 30 Nymic (as well as 30 WB and Delves dailies) can be done in a week) link: https://en.uesp.net/wiki/Online:Savior_of_Necrom (these 30 Nymic dailies also unlock a Obsidian Dwarven Sphere pet, though, again, i doubt it can be done withing a week)
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UESP page with the images of loyalty rewards: https://en.uesp.net/wiki/Online:DLC_Loyalty_Rewards
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What works:
- Thieves Guild, Dark Brotherhood, and Psijic Guild skill lines skill line will persist, allowing looting Thieves Troves and Psijic portals. Blade of Woe still continues to function (Please, keep in mind that is per character! Psijic quest (it is long) unlocking the line (and subsequent ones (long too)) is fun only first 9 times.., after that it starts becoming annoying)
- Housing purchased in DLC zones will persist, on exiting the house you would not enter a DLC zone, but teleport back to the location from which you have teleported to your house
- Furnishings exceeding non-ESO+ limits will stay, but you will not be able to re-add them if accidentally put away
- you would be able to allocate/deallocate Skill Points (with respec or by loading an Armory build) in the TG/DB/Psijic/JC/Scrying/Excavation skills you have already unlocked while progressing these skill lines.
- Antiquities will still allow you to scry from the map (though I am not sure it was intended by Zenimax)
thanks go to u/LordAsheye for the instructions: https://www.reddit.com/elderscrollsonline/comments/10kdvem/comment/j5rqmpd/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3
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What does not work:
- Jewelry Crafting skill line still requires Summerset (after ESO+ expires you can not access JC crafting stations if you don't own the DLC), but it makes a lot of sense to research Infused, Bloodthirsty and Swift traits for reconstructing stickerbook jewelry (thanks Kelinmiriel for this tip) as at any time you can buy the Transmute Station or visit your friends houses/guildhalls where the said station has been already deployed.
- You would not be able to further progress DB, TG and Psijic skill lines (if not maxed them) after free ESO+ trial ends.
- You can not play Tales of Trubute (if you have no access to High Isle) after trial end
- Companions of Blackwood and High Isle are decoupled from the zone for ESO+ Free trials (but, of course, work for the real subscriptions), Companions of Necrom are not accessible, because Necrom is the latest Chapter, which is not unlocked with ESO+ (trial or regular)
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OTHER EASY THINGS to do:
- re-log with each character to make materials they carry to go into the Crafting Bag (after event it will turn into "extract-only" mode)
- unlock TG, DB and Psijic skill lines for each of your characters (looting a thieves trove is enough to unlock the TG line, so if you are lucky to spot the thing that saves a trip to Hew's Bane)
- collect skyshards, lorebooks, unlock exploration and questing dyes and achievements, check achievement furnishers (as they offer quite a lot of inexpensive and nice furnishings)
(LovelyNorth has an excellent achievement furnishers visual guide: http://lovelynorth.com/achievementfurnishings/)
- dye your costumes (this is done per character, so the same costume may be dyed differently on different characters)
- dye your Companions costumes (if you have Blackwood or High Isle or Necrom and unlocked them Companions)
- refine your raw materials, preferably on a character with the best refining passives and Meticulous Disassembly green CP star slotted
- if you do crafting dailies, then pack your CraftBag with everything. I’d suggest depositing a LOT of style stones (basic ones are 15g each at vendors located near crafting stations), potency runes (again, vendors), Ta runes, Mudcrab Chitin and Violet Coprinus. If you craft furnishings stock up with furnishing materials as well.
- pack your houses with 2x storage (utilize 2x furnishing limits at houses of any size)
- do the treasure maps (might be purchased at the Guild Traders) pointing to otherwise restricted zones
- if you decided to train Antiquities, then acquire new and do the existing leads in the unlocked DLC zones (if you decide to max up Antiquities skill lines (for the Ultimate difficulty furnishing leads) - the easy way to get level 7 lead (Void-Crystal Anomaly furnishing) is to harvest nodes in Coldharbour, as it drops surprisingly often there from resource nodes)
- attune your crafting stations to Order's Wrath (High Isle), Law of Julianos (Wrothgar) , New Moon Acolyte (Southern Elsweyr) (also: Clever Alchemist, Wretched Vitality, Mechanical Acuity (CWC), Coldharbor Favorite, Stuhn's Favor, Heartland Conqueror, and Ancient Dragonguard are quite good options too (imho), but that is you, who decides on that matter and most of the GuildHalls normally have them crafting stations).
- it is worth mentioning you can open your geodes to use doubled (1000) transmute crystal limit (though after the event you would not be able to add new crystals unless you consume the existing ones to make theirs number to drop below the “normal” 500 limit)
- purchasing alchemy ingredients to pack your CraftBag with is up to you (this may help to level up new characters uber-fast using batches of pre-crafted Master Achemy Writs), as well as buying uncommon style materials (for future gear crafting Master Writs). However, for both of these purposes I’d suggest just to subscribe to ESO+.
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TIME-CONSUMING ACTIVITIES:
- collect Bound-On-Pickup group dungeons DLC gear for the collections book (unbound may be bought)
- quests and dungeons for rewards, achievements and collectibles (like Elsweyr free housing or Elsweyr+Dragonhold Epilogue free flying pet, undaunted trophies.. Pirharri the Smuggler assistant, etc etc..)
- doing DLC dungeons for bound gear, skillpoints, achievements (including skins for achievements in veteran DLC dungeons), motif pages drops and trophies
- if you are for good DPS sets: on normal Falkreath Hold (for Pillar of Nirn) is soloable, just block minotaurs heavy attacks. Frostvault (for Tzogvin's Warband) is soloable too, just get tanky to kill the troll. And you don’t need 60+ runs as you get armor pieces rather quick so you can reconstruct them later (for 50..60 crystals, not 25, but, anyway..). Weapons require more runs, though..
- doing DLC trials with friends for skins, gear and achievement. UESP: https://en.uesp.net/wiki/Online:Trials
- Zones story quests reward with skillpoints (especially smaller zones: CWC -8, Murkmire – 7, Southern Elsweyr – 6+3, Markarth – 6+3, The Deadlands – 6+3, Firesong – 6+3 (6+3 means 6 from smaller zone DLC plus 3 from epilogue quests completing one year arc (if the appropriate big zone DLC story line completed))). (Thanks to u/RadioRy for this recommendation) Also: warning: it takes only several hours for these storylines if you rush the dialogues, however – rushing is not recommended if you are for stories or RP.
- do public dungeons group events in Summerset Isles, Northern Elsweyr, Greymoor, Blackwood, High Isle and Wrothgar for the skill points (Atoll of Immolation is, technically, a public dungeon too, but does not reward you with a skillpoint. Enter it from The Deadlands, not from Blackwood)
Game-Maps.com has the excellent public dungeons maps https://game-maps.com/ESO/ESO-Public-Dungeon.asp
On PC use the Urich's Skill Point Finder addon to check your quests, skyshards and dungeons skillpoints https://www.esoui.com/downloads/info1863-UrichsSkillPointFinder.html
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- check UESP full list of mementos: https://en.uesp.net/wiki/Online:Mementos (“DLC and Chapters” is a sepatare section), maybe you would like to unlock some
- completing skill lines (DB, TG, Psijic)
- complete maps (do world bosses if you please)
- complete fishing Achievements
- do DLC dungeons with friends on veteran difficulty for skins, costumes, titles and other nice rewards
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Now some details about fashion for those, who might be interested in that stuff. Skip if not.
Five sections below do not include veteran hard-mode dungeons and trials rewards and achievements, as not 100% of the players do these activities. Let’s talk relatively easy things, OKay?
(Base Game, Morrowind, and Imperial City goodies are not included for the obvious reason – no connection with ESO+, though Shadowfen skeleton or Vvardenfell Scarlett Judge costume are mentioned in the comments each and every time). Dyes are too numerous, so I decided not to overload this document. Check UESP for dyes, please.
I also skipped titles, mementos and emotes to keep this text reasonably compact.
GETTING COSTUMES (not including the ones from the tradeable fragments)
- Antiquarian Field Garb & Antiquarian Robes - gained by progressing scrying and excavating antiquities - Regalia of the Orsimer King - completing Orsinium storyline quests - Cavalier of the Sworn Oath Old Orsinium Sentry Trinimac's Penitent Knight - questing in Wrothgar - Merchant Lord's Formal Regalia - obtained by progressing Thieves Guild story quest - Shrouded Armor - you get it at the very start of Dark Brotherhood story-line quests - Thieves Guild Leathers - you get it just by starting Thieves guild questline - Za'ji's Dragonguard Uniform - completing Southern Elsweyr questline - Oblivion Explorer Garb – obtained during The Deadlands zone story - Courtly Traveling Attire – complete High Isle zone story - Black Hand Robe – complete Dark Brotherhood story - The Fate Scryer Costume - obtained during Necrom zone quest
HATS (not including “instant” ones)
- Nighthunter's Cowl Hat – Antiquity on the High Isle - Ironclad Sarcoshroud – Antiquity in The Deadlands - Helm of the Black Fin – obtained during Blackwood zone quest line - Arkthzand Insight Vertex Shroud – Antiquity in Markarth DLC - Witchwise Headdress – obtained during The Reach story line quests - Dwemer Crown - the Antiquity lead drops from the group event boss in Nchuthnkarst public dungeon in Blackreach - Mask of Alkosh obtained by completing the Dragonhold main questline - Madgod’s Turban obtained with “The Lunacy of Two Moons” side quest in Northern Elsweyr - Psijic Skullcap is obtained on completing the Psijic Order quests line
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NON-COMBAT PETS (not including “instant” ones)
- Phoenix Moth – awarded on completing Galen’s story line quests - Jerall Rescue Dog – obtained during Tales of Tribute quest line - Coral Haj Mota – combined from (tradeable) fragments from both High Isle public dungeons - Dremnaken Runt – obtained completing Blackwood + The Deadlands epilogue quest line - Bog Dog pet – obtained by exploration achievement in Blackwood (check ArzyeLBuilds guide https://arzyelbuilds.com/eso-lost-in-the-wilds-achievement-guide-blackwood-free-pet/) - Dwarven Scarab – 7 parts Antiquity from Markarth DLC. Thought Zeni claims they improved the drop rates, they still deserve much better :( - Somnolent Void Rot - obtained during Greymoor + Markarth epilogue quest line - Solitude Silver Wolf – obtained during Greymoor story line quests - Regal Dragon Imp flying pet obtained during Season of the Dragon Epilogue quests
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FACE AND BODY MARKINGS (not including “instant” ones)
- Y’ffelon’s face and body marks obtained during Galen story quest line - Stonelore’s Legend Face and Body marks obtained during High Isle zone story - Fargrave Soullatice Face and Body obtained on completing The Deadlands story questline - Ysgramor’s Chosen Face Marking – antiquity lead in Western Skyrim - Ysgramor’s Chosen Body Marking obtained during Greymoor story quest - Dwemer Face Markings – antiquity lead from Colossus Charging Station WB in Blackreach - Dwemer Body Markings – antiquity lead from the boss of The Scraps delve in Western Skyrim - Face & Body Imprint of the Psijic Order are obtained during the Psijic Order quests line in Summerset - Abyssal Cephaliarch’s Face Art – completing the quest “A Hidden Fate” in Necrom - Body Art – completing the quest “A Calamity of Fate” in Necrom
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SKINS
- Barkroot Blessing is 10 parts antiquity from Galen https://en.uesp.net/wiki/Online:Barkroot_Blessing (i will be honest: I gave up with this skin after using 25+ Galen treasure maps with zero freakin’ lead drop; may the luck follow you, tamrielings!:)
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OTHER COSMETICS
- Ascendant Lord’s Greatsword – style page awarded for completing High Isle + Firesong epilogue quests chain - Eldertide Style – shoulder style Antiquity from Galen Treasure Map I - Pelin’s Paragon outfit style pages drop from Tales of Tribute dailies rewards containers - Bog Blight Funerary Mask Style – hat style Antiquity from Blackwood - Leyawiin Brigadine Shield Style – obtained by completing Blackwood zone story line - Malign Ambitions Crow – major adornment obtained during story line quests in Blackwood - Antiquarian's Pickaxe is a two-handed weapon style acquired by reaching the max rank in the Excavation Skill Line - Wolf of Solitude Replica Sword is one-handed weapon style obtained during Greymoor storyline quests - Karthwatch Sigil Shield outfit style is also obtained during Greymoor storyline quests - Wolfcrown of Solitude adornment obtained on finishing Greymoor story line quests - Topal Corsair outfit style pages are awarded for completing different quests in Southern Elsweyr - Ancient & Pristine Moon Crescent Styles are sickle-like one-handed weapon styles obtained by completing side quests chain given by Vastarie NPC in Northern Elsweyr - Skyterror Dragonslayer Style are helm and shoulder outfit styles granted during Northern Elsweyr storyline quests - Mystic Eye Psijic Cuirass outfit Style is obtained during the Summerset zone story - Psijic Warden Gauntlets outfit Style is also obtained during the Summerset zone story - Shroomtender outfit pages are a reward for completing various achievements associated with the exploration of Necrom
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DAILIES
UESP has a comprehensive list of dailies and how to unlock them: https://en.uesp.net/wiki/Online:Repeatable_Quests
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FURNISHING PLANS
(though I would not recommend this because of cooldowns and limited time of the Event, but this is still a good clean family entertainment to diversify your activities. Wrothgar: loot Old Orsinium; CWC: steal in Brass Fortress Basilica; Summerset loot Shimmerene Monastery; Murkmire: steal in Lilmoth and Bright-Throat Village; Northern Elsweyr: loot Rimmen Royal Palace (Dragonhold added no new furnishing plans); Greymoor: loot Nchuthnkarst; Markarth: loot Bthar-Zel (unlocked during the zone quest); Blackwood: steal in Leaywiin Castle; The Deadlands: steal in The Bearer’s Rest in Fargrave, High Isle: loot Castle Navire, Galen: steal in Maltheo Rouillac's House in Vastyr). Necrom loot in Sailenmora Crypts (you have to start the "a thif to catch a thief" quest, but NOT finish it, otherwise you lose access to this place (very juicy from the start, now seriously nerfed))
Swap characters after blue or purple plan drop (the cooldown for blues is one hour per character). I would also suggest to swap characters after you start getting white furnishing plans. Slot “Homemaker” green CP star.
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OTHER LONG-TERM ACTIVITIES:
- doing Museum quests for unique furnishing items and costumes ( https://en.uesp.net/wiki/Online:Museums )
- farming bound collectibles fragments in public dungeons (https://en.uesp.net/wiki/Online:Fragments)
- digging mythics and other antiquities (wolfie mount, music box, dance emote, face and body markings, cosmetics, and fancy furnishings, as there are many great-looking Antiquities furnishings)
- do the surveys and refine as much as you can to stock up your CraftBag (ideally to hold up till the next ESO+ free event)
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- DO THE SOLO ARENAS: the Maelstrom Arena weapons are still great, also the Vateshran Hollows weapons are good and achievements (unlocking skin and dyes may be done on a veteran difficulty).
BlackRose Prison weapons are also good, but you would prefer to go with friend(s), as this group arena is noticeably harder than the soloable nDSA.
(reminder: Curated drops in Arenas work only on the final chest)
Completing veteran MA unlocks Maelstrom Baron polymorph, completing veteran VH unlocks Void Pathosis skin.
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TIP: Set up your priorities!
As there are a LOT of things to be done and time is the essence, I’d suggest getting instant freebies first (it takes less than an hour) and then focus on what you consider the most important (like mythics, or trial/dungeons gear, or some free stuff requiring questing, or dailies, or just exploration, etc) as this depends on what brings you the most fun. The ESO is a MMO game, after all!
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Be sure to check the comprehensive list of collectibles compiled by Benevolent Bowd (benevolentbowd):
https://benevolentbowd.ca/games/esotu/eso-making-the-most-of-it/
http://benevolentbowd.ca/games/esotu/esotu-unlockable-collectibles/
Friendly reminder: collectibles, mementos, emotes, dyes and currencies are account-wide.
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If I have missed anything essential (I intentionally omitted Base Game, Vvardenfell and Imperial City things as they do not depend on ESO+), please, post that in the comments to help making this guide better. Thank you.
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Good luck, friends.
Have fun
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P.S. FAQ: the most frequent questions are:
- How to activate the ESO+ trial? - Normally the magic sequence is: inagme Crown Store, select the ESO Plus tab, select “Free Trial!” ( official instructionhttps://www.elderscrollsonline.com/en-us/news/post/66079 ) - How long does it last? - Normally seven days. Check the official site for precise information. Event ends on June 19 14:00 UTC - is this once in a lifetime promotion? - No. You can participate in all the subsequent ESO+ free trial events whenever they happen - How often such promotions do happen? – it is hard to say, normally 2-3 times a year, but there are no schedule and warranties. - I am already subscribed. Do I benefit from this event? - Not really. - Does this week adds to existing subscriptions? – Nope. - Does free ESO+ trial unlocks Warden & Necromancer classes ?– Nope. - How long does it take to pick up all of them instant loyalty rewards? - Normally less than an hour. - Any free mounts? - Ebon Dwarven Mount from Antiquities. There are also other mounts but it depends. Mounts are granted for trifectas DLC Trials achievements, but they are really hard to obtain, as it takes highly coordinated capable group to achieve vet HM speed-run no-death. Antiquties wolf mount could be unlocked in one week but this takes some serious no-lifing. :) - What will happen with the Craftbag? - it will go into “extract only” mode, you will not lose your materials. u/Kelinmiriel explained the order materials are consumed when crafting: the game uses 1) any stolen materials you're carrying, 2) materials from your craft bag, 3) non-stolen materials in your inventory. You have no choice about this. - Do I keep all these collectibles and items I have obtained? – Sure!
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Stay safe, folx!