Me (33NB) and my wife (33F) have been together for 13 years. We met when we were 19 and 20 so we've basically spent our entire adult lives together. We both have a lot of trauma and mental health issues. We both came from abusive and dysfunctional families and as a result we both have PTSD, BPD, and a lot of anxiety issues. We also both have autism and ADHD. This has always made our relationship very complicated, but we've always tried our best to work through our problems together, and we're both in individual therapy.
My BPD is inward acting or "quiet" BPD, so when I get emotionally overwhelmed I cope by shutting down and self harming or self destructing. My wife is very outward acting though, so when she gets overwhelmed she yells, screams, punches things, or throws things. She's never hit me, and when she's thrown things at me they normally never leave a mark or anything. She feels bad about it after it happens, and she apologizes but she also explains to me how her reactions, while not ok, are also partially my fault for upsetting her. I've spent the past 13 years trying to learn how to not upset her, but it keeps happening and I'm not sure what I'm doing wrong.
A few months ago we got a puppy, and normally she's very good to the puppy and the puppy seems to love her, but occasionally she hits her when she gets really mad at her. Not hard enough to injure her, but hard enough to make her yelp. Last week she once threw her against the wall but she didn't appear to be injured. A few weeks ago she threatened to steal the dog if we ever break up, and she told me she even considered asking our neighbors to watch her for a little bit and telling me the dog got out and ran away but she decided not to do that.
Things came to a head recently when I broke my ankle 2 weeks ago, so for a while I was barely able to get out of bed and basically not able to take care of myself or the dog. Almost any time I asked my wife to do something for me or take care of the dog, she yelled at me that I was controlling her and manipulating her. There were times she straight up refused to bring me food and told me she wouldn't take the dog out or feed her until the dog was literally screaming. She said that until then the dog could wait. But now I'm able to move around more so I'm taking care of the dog myself.
This was when I started to get worried, so I reached out to friends seeing if there was any way for me to get out. One of my friends told me she's planning to get a new place in the next 6 months and offered to let me move there with her. I was planning to keep this to myself for now, but 2 days ago I had an argument with my wife which resulted in her throwing her backpack at me which was filled with heavy things. It hit my hand and left me with a sore knuckle and a tiny bruise, but it doesn't look that bad. Still, I know that leaving any kind of mark on me is a red flag.
That's when I told her I'm planning to move out and she's not coming with me. My wife begged me to not give up on 13 years and everything we've worked for. She told me it would be the biggest betrayal she's ever had in her life because I'm the 1 person she thought would never abandon her. She suggested we go to couples counseling and asked that I at least take a few months to decide whether or not I'm leaving. She also promised that if she ever gets too rough with the dog I can tell her to stop and she will. I do want to give it a try, because I do love her and I want to know I did everything I could before giving it all up. I know I'll never have this type of connection with anyone ever again.
I told one of my friends what happened and she's mad at me for not leaving my wife immediately. She says I'm not thinking about what's best for me or my dog, but I think unless things get more extreme we'll be ok for the next few months. And if she ever hurts me worse, or hurts the dog and doesn't stop when I tell her to, then I promise I will leave at that point. But my friend is trying to convince me to leave now or at least let her take my dog for a while. I don't want to give her the dog partially because it might upset my partner, and partially because this dog has been passed around to so many homes already I'm worried she might feel abandoned.
I don't know, I see her point but I would just feel guilty if I left right now without at least trying couples counseling. Besides, our problems are partially my fault for upsetting her so I can't deny my role. If the counseling doesn't work then at least I'll know I did everything I could and it just couldn't be fixed. But my friend thinks that the counseling is pointless, that I'm just wasting time, and that I'm not doing what's best for me and my dog. I don't know what to do, but I know I would feel guilty if I left right now and I don't feel ready to leave.

Context and upbringing:
As long as I remember I always wanted to hurt people. Not animals, just people. I was a loud and charismatic child, though always ready to jump at someone if I felt like that. For some reason no one tried to stop me from occasionall bullying. Maybe because I was pretty charming towards everyone.
It all changed when I was 8 years old. I, can't remember why, lifted a boy and tried to run with him. I slipped. He fell with me and hit his head at the wall. He didn't lose consciousness immediatly, but couldn't stand and started to cry. At the moment I didn't feel anything. Maybe only that I messed up, though not because someone was hurt, but because I could get grounded. Grounded I got. Boy was vomitting and laying in bed for several days and that was first time I actually got problems because of my cruelty.
In my country as a kid you can't go to prison unless you commited very horrific crime, but you can get in special category in law system. Let's call it "The List". If you get there you will have big problems with getting in good university, finding a job and etc. It simply means that you commited crime, though not very severe, and now police watches over you. It damages your reputation a lot.
For some reason, I still don't know why for sure, his parents forgave me after 2 days of deciding what to do with me. Those were two messed up days, my mom crying, my dad silent, my siblings absent(can't remember why though) and I realised what was happening and what I could het with that. Maybe I went traumatised, because even after amnesty I never ever again started a fight myself (and always tried to avoid it at all costs) and started to slowly change from extrovert to complete introvert-sociophob.
I was 8 at the moment of "accident" and my peak of loneliness and self-destruction was at 14 years old. No friends, excpet few people I never opened to, no girlfriend (because I was scared of them like they were aliens), complexes(overweight, acne and no geneticly good face) and hatred. Hatred was a problem I underestimated, but I will leave it for now.
At 14 I started to go to the gym. My older brother was picking on me so I went without much enthusiasm, but I trying my best there since it was better than simply losing my time.
Time went by, I had nothing in my life but my PC, school and gym. I was a good student so my marks were good. Gym started to pay off after about a year or something. My social skills were still dead, but I decided that I should learn masks and small talks (I couldn't do it as easy as most).
At 16 I learned about self-improvement. Tried it. Liked it. Decided to dedicate my time for it. Ended up with a lot of hate toward myself since I couldn't beat my laziness, but couldn't just brush it off anymore knowing that I could do more. I did improve though in every aspect of life. It was just not ideal, so I couldn't praise myself for it as I shoud have.
At 16 I thought that I was somewhat ready for a girl and in a bold manner (like an actual autist) asked the most attractive (in my opinion at least) girl in my school. To my surprise se accepted even though my initial goal was simply to beat fear and ask her at all. Date went AWFULY. Every alpha-male would die from cringe if they saw me that evening, but I was happy. I got lots of experience and threw a nice jab at my fears.
Fast forward two years. I am 18, studying in university since my studies paid off. My looks are better than ever. My self-esteem is somewhat adequate. I even got in a relationship and lost my v-card (something I considered impossible) to a 9/10 (on my scale). I broke up with her though, because I was tired of wearing a mask of a perfect caring boyfriend and her illogical and idiotic whims were getting on my nerves. I am a dick for that, but I really tried to be as good as I could. The biggest reason of my breakup was that I couldn't ignore hatred any longer. And that's how we finally get to the main part
Main problem and present:
I feel deep resentment towards human species. I imagine torturing and killing people from 13 years old and I can't simply brush those thoughts off. My mother did good job at programming me, so I have sense of moral. I know this is bad, so I project my thoughts only on "bad guys". I can sit for hours imagining how I would torture and maul pedophiles, children shooters, rapists and others scums. Sometimes when I watch videos with accidents where people get hurt I catch myself smiling. I don't like it since those people are innocent in those videos. I fear it. I am 18 and those thoughts are stronger than ever. My psychologist (which I finally went to) after 4 sessions decided to leave me because my case is "too complex", so she gave me numbers of better specialists. She told me that I do have clear psychopatic tendencies and that I am true narcissist. What should I do? I, don't know how, developed strong sense of justice and moral and my main dream and goal - is finding a true, pure love. I know that I don't want to think this cruel sick way. I know that I want to change, but how?
I decided to actually face this hatred and try to fight it because of anime "Vinland Saga". I want to be at peace, I want to bring peace. I want to be a kinder, better and stronger person. Genuinely good and kind. I even considered suicide to not let even a chance that I hurt somebody, but my family loves me deeply. They don't know of how cruel my thoughts are even towards them, but my death will mentally destroy at least my mother and grandmother. I can't do that. What should I do?

Wasn't able to find one post that summarized 2nd year ELEC before I did it so I thought I'd make one. This is my personal opinion and an average student's perspective (sometimes even below average lol). 2nd year is a lot of mixed opinions about everything.
You want to have MATH 101, PHYS 158, APSC 160 and MATH 152 completed before starting 2nd year. Standardly you'll be taking 39 credits in the winter session. Although it's very common to take fewer (in fact I'd recommend it) credits.
Term 1 looks like: ELEC 201(4), CPEN 211(5), MATH 253(3), MATH 256(3), CPSC 259(4). Term 2 looks like: ELEC 202(4), ELEC 211&MATH264 (3), ELEC 221(4), ELEC 281(3), ELEC 291(6). You could take MATH 253 in the summer before 2nd year, take ELEC 281 before 2nd year after you've been placed in ELEC or also take it the summer after 2nd year. Utilize your summers to complete as many complimentary studies, free, impact requirement electives as you can. There is an option to take ELEC 291 in the summer after 2nd year as well but I wouldn't recommend that as it's a very time consuming design course and I've heard it's run differently in the summer and isn't as worthwhile in terms of what you learn.
ELEC 201: One of the harder courses in term 1, isn't very time consuming but isn't easy either. First time you'll be giving WebWork exams so the average is low but you'll be fine. Do the homework and attend class. I took it with Alireza Nojeh who was a good prof. Lectures were very organized and he writes and explains everything as he goes which is nice. Isn't scaled or scaled very slightly. Practice the WebWorks and lecture notes and also follow Linares's YouTube channel regardless whether he teaches it or not. Difficulty: 3.75/5.
CPEN 211: Hardest course in term 1 imo. Very time consuming, especially the labs, which would sometimes take entire weekends and eat time out of other courses and aren't even worth 2% each. So find a good lab partner. There's a lot to cover so be up to date. Although the lectures aren't very helpful. I'd suggest keeping up with the slides and making notes and GOING TO ANY TUTORIAL AND LECTURE where he/the TAs solve problems. Took it with Tor who teaches it almost every year. Too much content to be covered in lectures but he is helpful in office hours/after lectures. Do as many problems as you can find and try and understand every concept. Difficulty 4.5/5.
MATH 253: One of the easier courses in 2nd year. In a non-ideal situation can be done in a short time as well. Easier compared to MATH 100 and 101. In math practice is very useful so try and do as many problems be it before the exams or throughout the term. The course is taught online so is easily procrastinated but Professor Leonard and Alexandra Niedden on YouTube are very good resources. Took it with Mark MacLean who is a GOATED math prof. Clear communication from him about what's expected and needs to be done. Difficulty: 2.5/5
MATH 256: Easiest course in 2nd year imo (partially because of the prof). Cannot be done in a short time but is easily followed throughout the term. As usual practice is key. Took it with Neil Balmforth who is also GOATED. He makes the course much easier, the other section didn't have as nice of a time. His midterms and finals were basically identical to the sample midterms and finals. Difficulty: 2/5
CPSC 259: It's a much more theoretical than APSC 160. The only nice parts were the labs because they were coding and not theory. The quizzes and final were mostly theory and on PraireLearn so limited attempts (usually 2) which made the tests very very hard. Took it with Geoffery Tien who usually teaches it. He's a nice guy but okayish at teaching. Very monotonous. I read the textbook and did it's problems which really helped. Difficulty: 3.5/5.
ELEC 202: A hard course but Linares makes you spend so much time on it, it doesn't feel as difficult as the other courses by the end. Another course graded by WebWork so marks aren't easily obtained. Make sure you understand all the WebWorks, TopHat and questions from the slides. Linares imo is one of the best teachers I've had and is very knowledgeable about EE. But his personality takes a lot away from him as a professor. This course will solidify a lot of basics for you, some that you might have overlooked in 201 but they way he runs the course does make it unnecessarily time consuming and challenging. I'd say do take the course with him regardless of the horror stories, you'll be glad you did later on but be ready for having a weird time in this course. And yeah follow his YouTube channel like your life depends on it. Difficulty: 4/5
ELEC211 & MATH264: These 2 are run together as a one 3 credit course ELEC 211(2) and MATH 264(1). I pretty much had to do this course on your own. It isn't very time consuming but the term that it's in and the way it's taught will make it feel challenging. Took it with Carol Jaeger who taught the 211 part and Professor Demirbas who taught the 264 part. I don't mean to be rude but both were basically useless. I don't know if Professor Jaeger tried to teach because I stopped going after a few weeks that's how bad it was. It felt like she was just there because she has to be. For Professor Demirbas the way he teaches was very weird. Read a few nice things about him but didn't have the same experience. He speaks and teaches too fast for anyone to be able to learn anything but that might be because they're making him teach most of a 3 credit course (MATH 317-Calculus IV) as a one credit course in about 6-7 lectures all this along with a theory driven electromagnetics course. I'd recommend watch the last 4-5 lecutures of Professor Leonard's Calc III YouTube playlist right in the beginning of the course. That'll cover the MATH portion. Then follow the math lectures to practice and use that math you learnt to understand the ELEC portion. Wasn't able to find a goof YouTube resource for the ELEC part but just watch a bunch of different videos for each topic I guess. WebWorks are good practice. Difficulty: 4/5 (should've been 3 but the way they run it).
ELEC 221: A hard course depending on your proclivity for mathematics. It's a whole lot of new concepts so it's reasonable it'll be difficult. If the concepts of Fourier Series, Laplace Transforms (also in ELEC 202) and Differential Equations that you learnt in MATH 256 are really clear, that'll help. Took it with Joseph Yan who is a very kind and helpful person, but he just refuses to teach for some reason. He'll ask you to watch 1 or 2 20-30 minute videos before the week and the lectures will basically be a slideshow of previously annotated slides from a few of years ago and him just repeating "any questions?" without really explaining anything. His pre-week videos were helpful but they were only there for the first part of the course. I'd say watch his videos that are there. The examples in his slides are good for theoretical understanding and WebWorks are good practice for exams. Difficulty: 4.25/5
ELEC 281: It's a technical communication course, supposedly like WRDS 150B. Dropped it, taking it in the summer will update this here once I've taken it.
ELEC 291: Probably my favorite course from 2nd year. You actually get a sense of what it might be like being an engineer because this is a project course and you do hands on work. You get to work in teams which is sometimes good and sometimes bad. The only downside is it'll eat up A LOT, sometimes ALL of your time. First of all there are 6 labs that are due weekly which can take anywhere from 1-6 hours, depends on the amount of debugging you need to do. There's 2 projects which are much bigger than the labs. You have to spend a lot of time (can't put hours because I couldn't keep track even if I tried to) on the projects. There's no studying but a whole lot of doing. Professor Fraga is very helpful in the lab. Right course, wrong timing. Difficulty: 5/5 (60% because of the time it takes and 40% because of the actual work).
Hope this helps! Again these are just my opinions and everyone has a different experience. Let me know if anyone has any questions or if you feel I wrote something that isn't a valid description.
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One of things Protoss struggles with is that its units fire way too slow and do too much damage per shot and thus tend to overkill and lose out on (their already low) dps. This is an issue for non glaive adepts and stalkers more so than any other unit (immortals, disruptors, tempests) as stalkers are generally considered to be the meat and potatoes of the mid game army. But when i saw this interaction of the Dragoons i thought we could also have this in the SC2 ladder.
Explanation of what happens in the clip in case someone cant watch it: 8 Dragoons target an SCV and fire 8 shots. As the shots connect and kill the SCV, the "extra" shots re-target a missile turret directly beside it
Stalkers fall off super hard as the game progresses and are probably the worst head-to-head-fighting unit in the entire game after the 5 min mark. So this might help alleviate some of their weaknesses.
If this makes the stalkers too good, we could just lock it behind the Dark Shrine as an upgrade to the stalkers that the player could research in the mid-late game. We could also limit the range of retarget to (say) 1-1.5 so it prevents random weird and unintended consequences
Thoughts?

Weapons - AA2525 fixer, BE90 elders mark, GS2525 fixer, Q50c25 perfect mods epf, Q50vhc25 handmade, Q50vhc25 radium rifle
Armour - OE/7%/Sent CE RA
Apparel - FSA mask, USA mask, responder fireman uniform
Plans - 100% invaders plan set
Misc - box of pork n’ beans, dove necklace, Earle’s pocket watch, graveyard shovel

📣 Injustice and Violation of Human Rights: A heartfelt plea deserving of your attention and support.

As a French citizen, I demand fair and independent justice.
In this video, Olivier Boutin shares his fight for justice and his respect for human rights. His story is marked by significant harm endured over eight years, which he attributes to government interference in judicial affairs. A shocking case that reminds us of the importance of the fundamental principles of our rule of law.
👤 Olivier has made a solemn appeal to our President, Mr. Emmanuel Macron, and our Prime Minister, Mr. Gabriel Attal. He seeks compensation for the harm suffered and the restoration of his violated rights.
✊ This is not just a personal story; it is a matter that concerns us all as citizens. For what would democracy be without the guarantee of its rights?
🎥 I invite you to watch the video: Olivier's story is touching, his courage and determination unwavering. He deserves to be heard, supported, and his fight should be ours too.

Justice #HumanRights #RuleOfLaw

https://www.youtube.com/@olivierboutin7421
https://www.tiktok.com/@crea.olivier?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4QKi8DorEpM
Trying to track down this sample. First appears during the breakdown around the 2 minute mark, but is emphasized during the breakdown at the 3 minute mark.
This same sample also appears in "Keep Hope Alive" by The Crystal Method, appears during the breakdown around the 3:50 mark and throughout the rest of the track:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LZi4qE6Ll6E

So... I woke up late and had to get out of the house asap, im on the bus I was hungry as fuck, i looked through my bag ans found a plastic container of gummies, which i was going to consume on the last day of gcses (after the exam ofc), whilst off 5 hours of sleep with no sleep i downed 8 gummies (50mg per piece) without a second thought, 1st lesson, its cool, then 2nd... half way through It hits and i realise "fuck... what have i done", im geeking thinking that everyone knows and that the teachers are going to call SLT on me, i make it to break and the next lesson I just dont feel like going to lesson so I sit in the toilet for most of it, then 4th lesson, in class and someone snitches and I get pulled out by a teacher, i blame it on my meds and say that i took too much and have been having mood swings and sickness, I get put in the special room for the exam since they didnt want me "being sick" in the main hall, I cant comprehend shit on this test and im thinking to myself "I cant do this, im too fucked...", which is sad because most people in the class including the teacher thought i was going to get max marks, I ask if i can just go home and do it tommorow and im explained to by the invigilators i cant and have to stay or i fail the exam, i try sober up and take extra time and even that doesnt work, I go home afterwards mad at myself and forget about it and just watch netflix for the remainder of the day.
So moral of the story, don't do substances during your GCSEs, although many people I know are... Also use this as a feel good story for yourself that makes you happy that I lowered the grade boundaries😂😂😂

Hi everyone - I own the Garmin FR255s Music and have been pulling my hair out trying to get music to play properly for me.
The problem happens only while running, I select Spotify, press play, connect to my Bose earbuds and within 30-60 seconds of running my earbuds cut out and say lost connection. I have tested with several other brands of ear buds and the problem persists. I am able to reconnect if I wait a minute and press play again, the cycle will then repeat as many times as I can stand.
Sometimes they will go as long as 2-3 minutes before disconnecting, so I wonder if it has something to do with my wrist placement. However in my opinion I really shouldn’t have to alter my running form in order to make a feature on smartwatch work normally.
Has anyone else experienced this issue? Is there possibly something faulty with my watch’s Bluetooth? Thanks in advanced!

Sorry about the delay. I ultimately decided that the story needed a substantial re-write and ended up back at square one. Unfortunately, this means chapters will now only go up three times a week (Monday, Wednesday, Friday). Hopefully you’ll enjoy this new version, and find it worth the wait.
Also, my Patreon is now up if you feel like supporting my writing. I’ll add advance chapters as soon as they’re written.
Thanks for reading!
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Prequel (Chapters 1 to 16)
1. Rise of a Valkyrie
First ¦ Previous ¦ Royal Road ¦ Patreon
2. Task Force Nemesis
He, General or mere Captain, who employs everyone in the storming of a position, can be sure of seeing it retaken by an organized counterattack of four men and a corporal.
- Battle Studies, Ardant du Picq
“You’re one of those Academy girls, aren’t you?”
Christie Stirling’s heart seized as a shock of adrenaline lanced through her body, and she needed a great deal of effort not to flinch or tremor. Other party guests looked around in surprise, but her smile remained unblemished. She turned with the lazy and graceless air she had portrayed throughout the night to look into the predatory eyes of Allana Rayker; the inhuman terrorist who had killed her best friend.
The question was either a trap or an accusation. The Academy—a fake university—was the cover of the shadowy organization that had recruited Christie. They had made her a Valkyrie; an enhanced super soldier tasked with protecting humanity from the devastating armaments of an extinct alien race, and those, like Rayker, who wanted to exploit those weapons for evil purposes.
Now that Valkyrie had found the evil woman’s hiding place, the hunt was reaching its final moments. But, shaken by surprise, Christie’s instincts screamed that her cover was blown, that she would be tortured and executed, and that the rest of the task force stealthily approaching the chateau would be discovered and attacked.
She feigned a puzzled smile as she fought for control of her emotions. All around the room, expensively dressed party goers mingled and talked with abandon. Light flashed off crystal glasses, chandeliers, and jewelry worth more than any citizen’s life. A man tipsy with wine laughed raucously at the joke of a Central Committee member, no doubt eager to impress one of the most powerful people in the galaxy.
The exclusive party, hosted by Joakinn Meissner, newly selected president of the largest arms manufacturer in the galaxy, had been anticipated for months. The guests were lost in the lavish display of wealth, with no idea, Christie was certain, that they might be about to witness a gruesome murder.
An angry inner voice drowned out the rising panic. How dare she allow herself to fail? How dare she let down her fellow Valkyrie, who had worked tirelessly for years to hunt down Rayker, and finally bring her to justice? And how dare she betray the memory of her friend Rose, who had already given her life in that struggle? There was simply no room for weakness, and Christie would be damned if she was going to let the operation end so abysmally.
She held onto her façade by her fingertips, as a gut-wrenching void swung beneath her.
“Where?” she asked, slurring her words. “Oh, you mean the mystery school? No, I went to Cambridge actually.”
She kept her eyes unfocused and wandering, but nevertheless taking in details. The galaxy’s most dangerous terrorist was dressed in black, and an earpiece was just visible behind the locks of black hair that fell from the neat bun. She didn’t hold a glass, and stood awkwardly, as one who doesn’t care to impress or reassure. On her wrists, Christie noticed the subtle bulges in the skin that marked her most deadly weapons—spikes of bone that she could launch with more power and speed than bullets.
Rayker stared into her eyes, dragging out the silence. Around them, the fabulously adorned guests began to look over, bemused by the strange interaction. Christie continued the drunken pause, allowing her eyes to droop with fatigue. She wished it were real, but tonight she could not be affected by alcohol. Like all Valkyrie, her bloodstream was flooded with nano machines that gave her enhanced speed, strength, and healing potential. Twenty-four hours earlier, a bioengineer had programmed the nanites to target and break down all alcohol enzymes that passed through her system.
Unfortunately, even advanced technology wouldn’t help her survive for long against Rayker.
Eventually Christie began to turn away, suppressing the shiver she felt at showing her back to a predator.
“Loving the dress,” she said with a hint of disdain. “Not everyone can pull off funeral black at a drinky fete.”
“Perhaps I was mistaken,” Rayker said, her voice neutral. “I’m afraid I haven’t had the pleasure.”
Christie stopped and looked back at her with a smirk. “Gosh, you’re scary!” she crowed. “You might almost be a villain in one of those spy movies!”
A wave of embarrassed silence, interrupted by a few titters, passed through the crowd, while others hid disbelieving grins behind their drinks.
Rayker ignored them and extended her hand. “Allana Rayker. I’m an associate of Herr Meissner.”
Christie shook limply. “I’m Petti.”
Rayker’s eyebrows flickered as she suppressed an obviously contemptuous expression. “You’re the girl who found success on the feeds recently? Modeling lingerie?” Her lips twisted into a fake smile. “I wouldn’t normally be interested, but so many men have told me that you have a surprising intellect.”
Of course, the meeting had been inevitable. Rayker had been prowling the halls of Meissner’s Chateau, interrogating every young woman in a similar fashion. Christie’s cover had been calculated to make her stand out, but in a way that could be easily dismissed. ‘Petti’ was a highly connected social influencer, who craved adoration and attention. It had been a fun role, up until now.
Christie grinned at the lascivious looks around her. “You guys—you’re so sweet!”
Her crowd of male admirers laughed, then directed blank stares at Rayker. Christie offered a prayer of thanks for the collective lust that was patiently trying to convince the intruder that she was an unwelcome bore who had no right to deprive them of the attention offered by an inebriated and provocatively dressed young woman, and should leave as soon as possible.
“Enchanté,” Rayker said, and stalked off.
“Is there a draft in here? I think I felt a chill,” Christie said to more laughter.
She turned her sunbeam smile back to the crowd while she reached a gently shaking hand up to brush the silver of her brooch. The tiny and delicate shapes of the flower’s petals helped calm her mind as she focused on the next step.
​
A mile away, in the dense woods of the Chateau’s outer grounds, Lance-Corporal Kayla Barnes moved slowly through the dark undergrowth. She placed each foot purposefully, testing the ground before shifting her weight to prevent the cracking of a twig or the rustle of leaves.
As she crested a low rise, she froze. The multi-wavelength vizor of her helmet showed the surrounding trees and foliage in dark grey and black patterns. Amidst the visual chaos she had been struggling to navigate, a pair of tiny white blobs had suddenly appeared.
Heat sources. Guards.
Kayla reached for the comm switch on her chest and triple clicked the talk button, sending a burst of static noise to the rest of the squad. Close behind, the three other members of her fire team, who had stopped when she had, raised their rifles and peered through scopes at the distant threat. Further along the gentle slope, the second half of their eight-woman squad also stopped, as they too scanned to locate the new target.
They were Rangers, part of Valkyrie’s elite infantry force. Under the cover of darkness, they had climbed through the surrounding mountains and crept past local security forces to infiltrate the chateau grounds. When the time came, their job would be to neutralize the VennZech corporation’s mercenary guards, leaving the Chateau infiltrators free to break in and take down Rayker.
Kayla would either succeed in her mission or die trying. She had graduated Valkyrie’s crushing selection course together with her three best friends, whom she had sworn never to let down. She had already unforgivably failed Rose Djallen; killed in action on a previous operation. Thandi Khawula was in the squad’s second fire team, covering her movements. Christie was in the chateau, facing their target alone.
As Kayla watched the distant blobs draw closer, they resolved into familiar human figures. Three of them. They were strolling, weapons slung, as they made the head and arm movements of everyday conversation.
Of course they were distracted; they had the Ambrosia detail. The planet was the luxury destination for the most powerful members of human society. On its pristine shores, rivalries and factions were forgotten. Powerful cartel members, after being offered a month’s stay, would be offered mutual, but discrete, agreements in place of a prison sentence. Business might be politely discussed, but anyone looking to extort or threaten fellow guests of would find their home planet visited by a Helvetic League security fleet. The normally fractious and squeamish planetary governors would look the other way. Nobody in their right mind would want to disturb this world’s tranquility.
But Valkyrie worked from the shadows and went wherever they pleased. Besides, if everything went to plan, nobody would even know what had happened.
The Chateau was built high on the slopes of Ambrosia’s most popular mountain range, not far from a huge ski resort. Perched on the edge of a sheer cliff, the building was flanked by a spectacular waterfall. In daylight, there was a jaw dropping view of the surrounding peaks and valleys. The grounds were covered in dense forests that stretched across the surrounding slopes. Normally, they were peaceful, disturbed only by the occasional guest out for an adventurous hike. Now they were crawling with Rangers, closing in to seal the chateau off from the outside world.
Kayla slowly turned her head and found the muted gray patch of her squad leader a short distance away. Their combat suits kept their body heat from seeping out into the world—as much a necessity to protect them in the vacuum of space as to keep them hidden. The diffuse blob of Corporal Ksenia ‘Kes’ Rudaski slowly raised an arm towards Kayla, and made a gentle motion in the direction of the approaching men.
Kayla raised her own hand in a thumbs up, then began to move forward. She did not need to see or hear her three other Rangers to know they would be close behind.
The two elements were separating. Kes’ Alpha team spread out on the rise to keep their rifles aimed at the new threats, while Kayla’s Bravo team crept towards them.
Their commanders had decided early in the operation that they should attempt to minimize human casualties wherever possible. To that end, Kayla and her squad mate Ray carried stun rifles. They could stop the heart of a human with a projectile that could latch into the skin and deliver a violent electric shock. Then, the Rangers would have up to two minutes to reach the unconscious victims and inject them with a solution to restart their cardiac rhythm before a powerful tranquilizer took effect. The men would wake up with amnesia hours later, and Valkyrie would confidently maintain its secrecy while assuaging the ethical concerns that interfering in human society often brought them.
Unfortunately, the weapons were only effective to a hundred yards. Kayla and Ray would have to get as close as they could before they could take out all three of the guards. They had night vision, and any sound would carry far on such a quiet night. Even distracted, they wouldn’t miss a disturbance amongst the trees.
Kayla had been a talented stalker since she was a child, a noiseless shadow in any environment. Nevertheless, there was always the chance that something could go wrong, and the Rangers couldn’t take the risk of a compromise when so much was on the line.
Certainly not, Kayla grimly reminded herself, when Christie’s life was in so much peril. One wrong move and Rayker would kill her immediately before making good her own escape and destroying months of work.
So Kes and her three Rangers kept their high-powered, suppressed rifles trained on the distant men. At the slightest hint of a problem, they wouldn’t hesitate to kill, and the ‘moral question’ would be chalked up to the fortune of war. False intelligence would be distributed implicating cartel involvement in the raid. Valkyrie ethics had always been a nebulous concept at best.
The closer Kayla got through the undergrowth to her target the closer, she knew, her watcher’s lethal assistance would have to pass by her own body. But she felt no fear. Thandi had become a talented marksman; neither she nor the others would make a mistake.
Now only fifty yards away, the men stopped by a large boulder, leaning against the rock while they drank from their canteens. Kayla dropped to her belly and merged into the ground as she slithered forward.
First ¦ Previous ¦ Royal Road ¦ Patreon
Prequel (Chapters 1 to 16)
1. Rise of a Valkyrie

Finally got my wife’s permission to watch “The Sixth Sense” with our 12 year old daughter. Her first M. Night Shyamalan movie. How often do you get the chance to watch that movie with someone who not only doesn’t know the twist, but doesn’t even know to expect a twist?
30 minutes before the end, my wife walks in and asks, “Does he know he’s actually dead yet?”
I immediately filed for divorce.
Kidding. But I did slap my forehead hard enough to leave a mark. She’s hooked on M. Night Shyamalan now, so that’s good.

Sorry about the delay. I ultimately decided that the story needed a substantial re-write and ended up back at square one. Unfortunately, this means chapters will now only go up three times a week (Monday, Wednesday, Friday). Hopefully you’ll enjoy this new version, and find it worth the wait.
Also, my Patreon is now up if you feel like supporting my writing. I’ll add advance chapters as soon as they’re written.
Thanks for reading!
---------------------------------------------------------------
Prequel (Parts 1 to 16)
1. Rise of a Valkyrie
Previous ¦ Royal Road ¦ Patreon
2. Task Force Nemesis
"He, General or mere Captain, who employs everyone in the storming of a position, can be sure of seeing it retaken by an organized counterattack of four men and a corporal."
- Battle Studies, Ardant du Picq
“You’re one of those Academy girls, aren’t you?”
Christie Stirling’s heart seized as a shock of adrenaline lanced through her body, and she needed a great deal of effort not to flinch or tremor. Other party guests looked around in surprise, but her smile remained unblemished. She turned with the lazy and graceless air she had portrayed throughout the night to look into the predatory eyes of Allana Rayker; the inhuman terrorist who had killed her best friend.
The question was either a trap or an accusation. The Academy—a fake university—was the cover of the shadowy organization that had recruited Christie. They had made her a Valkyrie; an enhanced super soldier tasked with protecting humanity from the devastating armaments of an extinct alien race, and those, like Rayker, who wanted to exploit those weapons for evil purposes.
Now that Valkyrie had found the evil woman’s hiding place, the hunt was reaching its final moments. But, shaken by surprise, Christie’s instincts screamed that her cover was blown, that she would be tortured and executed, and that the rest of the task force stealthily approaching the chateau would be discovered and attacked.
She feigned a puzzled smile as she fought for control of her emotions. All around the room, expensively dressed party goers mingled and talked with abandon. Light flashed off crystal glasses, chandeliers, and jewelry worth more than any citizen’s life. A man tipsy with wine laughed raucously at the joke of a Central Committee member, no doubt eager to impress one of the most powerful people in the galaxy.
The exclusive party, hosted by Joakinn Meissner, newly selected president of the largest arms manufacturer in the galaxy, had been anticipated for months. The guests were lost in the lavish display of wealth, with no idea, Christie was certain, that they might be about to witness a gruesome murder.
An angry inner voice drowned out the rising panic. How dare she allow herself to fail? How dare she let down her fellow Valkyrie, who had worked tirelessly for years to hunt down Rayker, and finally bring her to justice? And how dare she betray the memory of her friend Rose, who had already given her life in that struggle? There was simply no room for weakness, and Christie would be damned if she was going to let the operation end so abysmally.
She held onto her façade by her fingertips, as a gut-wrenching void swung beneath her.
“Where?” she asked, slurring her words. “Oh, you mean the mystery school? No, I went to Cambridge actually.”
She kept her eyes unfocused and wandering, but nevertheless taking in details. The galaxy’s most dangerous terrorist was dressed in black, and an earpiece was just visible behind the locks of black hair that fell from the neat bun. She didn’t hold a glass, and stood awkwardly, as one who doesn’t care to impress or reassure. On her wrists, Christie noticed the subtle bulges in the skin that marked her most deadly weapons—spikes of bone that she could launch with more power and speed than bullets.
Rayker stared into her eyes, dragging out the silence. Around them, the fabulously adorned guests began to look over, bemused by the strange interaction. Christie continued the drunken pause, allowing her eyes to droop with fatigue. She wished it were real, but tonight she could not be affected by alcohol. Like all Valkyrie, her bloodstream was flooded with nano machines that gave her enhanced speed, strength, and healing potential. Twenty-four hours earlier, a bioengineer had programmed the nanites to target and break down all alcohol enzymes that passed through her system.
Unfortunately, even advanced technology wouldn’t help her survive for long against Rayker.
Eventually Christie began to turn away, suppressing the shiver she felt at showing her back to a predator.
“Loving the dress,” she said with a hint of disdain. “Not everyone can pull off funeral black at a drinky fete.”
“Perhaps I was mistaken,” Rayker said, her voice neutral. “I’m afraid I haven’t had the pleasure.”
Christie stopped and looked back at her with a smirk. “Gosh, you’re scary!” she crowed. “You might almost be a villain in one of those spy movies!”
A wave of embarrassed silence, interrupted by a few titters, passed through the crowd, while others hid disbelieving grins behind their drinks.
Rayker ignored them and extended her hand. “Allana Rayker. I’m an associate of Herr Meissner.”
Christie shook limply. “I’m Petti.”
Rayker’s eyebrows flickered as she suppressed an obviously contemptuous expression. “You’re the girl who found success on the feeds recently? Modeling lingerie?” Her lips twisted into a fake smile. “I wouldn’t normally be interested, but so many men have told me that you have a surprising intellect.”
Of course, the meeting had been inevitable. Rayker had been prowling the halls of Meissner’s Chateau, interrogating every young woman in a similar fashion. Christie’s cover had been calculated to make her stand out, but in a way that could be easily dismissed. ‘Petti’ was a highly connected social influencer, who craved adoration and attention. It had been a fun role, up until now.
Christie grinned at the lascivious looks around her. “You guys—you’re so sweet!”
Her crowd of male admirers laughed, then directed blank stares at Rayker. Christie offered a prayer of thanks for the collective lust that was patiently trying to convince the intruder that she was an unwelcome bore who had no right to deprive them of the attention offered by an inebriated and provocatively dressed young woman, and should leave as soon as possible.
“Enchanté,” Rayker said, and stalked off.
“Is there a draft in here? I think I felt a chill,” Christie said to more laughter.
She turned her sunbeam smile back to the crowd while she reached a gently shaking hand up to brush the silver of her brooch. The tiny and delicate shapes of the flower’s petals helped calm her mind as she focused on the next step.
A mile away, in the dense woods of the Chateau’s outer grounds, Lance-Corporal Kayla Barnes moved slowly through the dark undergrowth. She placed each foot purposefully, testing the ground before shifting her weight to prevent the cracking of a twig or the rustle of leaves.
As she crested a low rise, she froze. The multi-wavelength vizor of her helmet showed the surrounding trees and foliage in dark grey and black patterns. Amidst the visual chaos she had been struggling to navigate, a pair of tiny white blobs had suddenly appeared.
Heat sources. Guards.
Kayla reached for the comm switch on her chest and triple clicked the talk button, sending a burst of static noise to the rest of the squad. Close behind, the three other members of her fire team, who had stopped when she had, raised their rifles and peered through scopes at the distant threat. Further along the gentle slope, the second half of their eight-woman squad also stopped, as they too scanned to locate the new target.
They were Rangers, part of Valkyrie’s elite infantry force. Under the cover of darkness, they had climbed through the surrounding mountains and crept past local security forces to infiltrate the chateau grounds. When the time came, their job would be to neutralize the VennZech corporation’s mercenary guards, leaving the Chateau infiltrators free to break in and take down Rayker.
Kayla would either succeed in her mission or die trying. She had graduated Valkyrie’s crushing selection course together with her three best friends, whom she had sworn never to let down. She had already unforgivably failed Rose Djallen; killed in action on a previous operation. Thandi Khawula was in the squad’s second fire team, covering her movements. Christie was in the chateau, facing their target alone.
As Kayla watched the distant blobs draw closer, they resolved into familiar human figures. Three of them. They were strolling, weapons slung, as they made the head and arm movements of everyday conversation.
Of course they were distracted; they had the Ambrosia detail. The planet was the luxury destination for the most powerful members of human society. On its pristine shores, rivalries and factions were forgotten. Powerful cartel members, after being offered a month’s stay, would be offered mutual, but discrete, agreements in place of a prison sentence. Business might be politely discussed, but anyone looking to extort or threaten fellow guests of would find their home planet visited by a Helvetic League security fleet. The normally fractious and squeamish planetary governors would look the other way. Nobody in their right mind would want to disturb this world’s tranquility.
But Valkyrie worked from the shadows and went wherever they pleased. Besides, if everything went to plan, nobody would even know what had happened.
The Chateau was built high on the slopes of Ambrosia’s most popular mountain range, not far from a huge ski resort. Perched on the edge of a sheer cliff, the building was flanked by a spectacular waterfall. In daylight, there was a jaw dropping view of the surrounding peaks and valleys. The grounds were covered in dense forests that stretched across the surrounding slopes. Normally, they were peaceful, disturbed only by the occasional guest out for an adventurous hike. Now they were crawling with Rangers, closing in to seal the chateau off from the outside world.
Kayla slowly turned her head and found the muted gray patch of her squad leader a short distance away. Their combat suits kept their body heat from seeping out into the world—as much a necessity to protect them in the vacuum of space as to keep them hidden. The diffuse blob of Corporal Ksenia ‘Kes’ Rudaski slowly raised an arm towards Kayla, and made a gentle motion in the direction of the approaching men.
Kayla raised her own hand in a thumbs up, then began to move forward. She did not need to see or hear her three other Rangers to know they would be close behind.
The two elements were separating. Kes’ Alpha team spread out on the rise to keep their rifles aimed at the new threats, while Kayla’s Bravo team crept towards them.
Their commanders had decided early in the operation that they should attempt to minimize human casualties wherever possible. To that end, Kayla and her squad mate Ray carried stun rifles. They could stop the heart of a human with a projectile that could latch into the skin and deliver a violent electric shock. Then, the Rangers would have up to two minutes to reach the unconscious victims and inject them with a solution to restart their cardiac rhythm before a powerful tranquilizer took effect. The men would wake up with amnesia hours later, and Valkyrie would confidently maintain its secrecy while assuaging the ethical concerns that interfering in human society often brought them.
Unfortunately, the weapons were only effective to a hundred yards. Kayla and Ray would have to get as close as they could before they could take out all three of the guards. They had night vision, and any sound would carry far on such a quiet night. Even distracted, they wouldn’t miss a disturbance amongst the trees.
Kayla had been a talented stalker since she was a child, a noiseless shadow in any environment. Nevertheless, there was always the chance that something could go wrong, and the Rangers couldn’t take the risk of a compromise when so much was on the line.
Certainly not, Kayla grimly reminded herself, when Christie’s life was in so much peril. One wrong move and Rayker would kill her immediately before making good her own escape and destroying months of work.
So Kes and her three Rangers kept their high-powered, suppressed rifles trained on the distant men. At the slightest hint of a problem, they wouldn’t hesitate to kill, and the ‘moral question’ would be chalked up to the fortune of war. False intelligence would be distributed implicating cartel involvement in the raid. Valkyrie ethics had always been a nebulous concept at best.
The closer Kayla got through the undergrowth to her target the closer, she knew, her watcher’s lethal assistance would have to pass by her own body. But she felt no fear. Thandi had become a talented marksman; neither she nor the others would make a mistake.
Now only fifty yards away, the men stopped by a large boulder, leaning against the rock while they drank from their canteens. Kayla dropped to her belly and merged into the ground as she slithered forward.
Previous ¦ Royal Road ¦ Patreon
Prequel (Parts 1 to 16)
1. Rise of a Valkyrie

I'm a heavy procrastinator. I like studying PCM, but distractions are way more fun. I just wanna get any branch at IIT Kharagpur or Roorkee. I scored 98.96 in JEE mains(same percentile in both sessions as i didnt study at all for the second attempt due to allen srg mocktests being held everyday) with CRL 16000. In advance mocks, I've achieved a max score of 136. I need at least 155-160 for the college I want. And I don't wanna take a drop. I have left inorganic because I always found it unworthy of my time, but now when I give mocks, the only questions I leave are of IOC. I am currently studying salt analysis and it's working. Can anyone suggest some more topics to boost my score even more? In these days, I find myself just watching Netflix the entire day. Nowadays my average study time is just 2 hours excluding the mathongo mock tests i give every day (just the 3 hour ones). I have not done many of the small topics in physics like wave theory and wave optics. I really want to get this college in the first try. (Y'all must be feeling that I'm lying that I am a procrastinator as I got this score in mains, but I'm telling the truth. Whenever I opened my laptop to study, I just ended up watching a movie. Always slept in the last hour of physics and chemistry class.Its been like this since 9th grade, before that i was really studious but i always got above 96 so no one really doubted me. I know these 15-20 marks that I want can be boosted in this time. Please, someone help me)."

What am I doing? Dominick Mason asked himself for the hundredth time that night. It was late on a rainy Sunday evening and Dom, a tall, lanky man-boy of twenty-five with a prominent Adam’s apple and too big eyes, stared out the rain-slicked window of the 905. The big bus swayed and jostled as it lumbered down Central Avenue, the movements strangely comforting, conducive to reflection…and self-doubt.
As if on cue, his phone buzzed, and a pit opened up in his stomach. He fumbled it out with long fingers and read the text. Are u almost here
His thumb hovered over the screen, but he did not reply. Part of him wanted to block the number, slink back home with his tail between his legs, and forget the whole thing. He could boot up his PS4 and play Red Dead Redemption or GTA V like always. Safe. Familiar. The thought, however, stirred a strange feeling in the pit of his stomach.
It was dread.
Every night, he did the same thing. He came home from work to his tiny prison cell apartment. He had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. He played video games until it was time to go to bed. The worst part of the whole night was when he turned off the TV and saw his murky reflection in the screen. Plaid. Scrawny. Disgusting. He hated being locked in that apartment, with its old smells and white walls, but he hated going out even more. At least in his hole, he was safe, like a mouse. No one hurt or lied to him there. No one gave him funny looks. No one rejected him. He was completely safe in his solitude, a wounded animal hiding in its den and licking its wounds.
He was wounded and he knew it.
And he hated himself for it. Hated that he wasn’t stronger or better. Hated that even though he tried so hard, everything he did fell apart…if it even came together in the first place, which it rarely did.
The phone buzzed again.
Just a question mark this time.
His heart began to race and a steely fist slowly closed around his lungs. He shifted uncomfortably in his seat and took a deep breath. He pictured himself alone in his little apartment. He loved the image, but he hated it too. Most nights, he didn’t mind being alone. He had to not mind it, because he didn’t have a choice. Some nights…some nights he didn’t want to be alone. Some nights he wanted warmth, he wanted tenderness…some nights, he wanted to be human.
Every so often, Dom would get the urge to find those things. They came less frequently than they did before, but unfortunately, they still came. He would create an account on Plenty of Fish and OKCupid, maybe some of the other sites as well. He would agonize over his stupid intro and his stupid list of hobbies. He would spend hours - literally hours - writing and rewriting them, trying at first to be serious, then light and funny, then cool, then aloof, then vulnerable. He would take the best possible pictures from the best possible angles, then upload them, never lingering over them because he hated the way he looked. He didn’t think he was ugly - mid was more like it - but apparently, he was ugly. Too ugly for love, too ugly even to talk to.
The ugly barnacle. So ugly that everyone died. The end.
All of Dom’s pictures were all selfies, of course. Guys he listened to on YouTube said he needed action shots, shots with friends, shots that showed women he had a life, was valued by those around him, and knew how to have fun. Too bad for him, he had no friends and no one valued him, not even his own mother. On the surface, maybe, but she had hurt him so many times over the years in so many ways that even the most devout son would stop and think.
It had to be selfies.
When his profile was in order - or as much in order as he could get it - he would start to browse. Dom knew his place and never messaged women who were too beautiful. He used to, but they never responded. He eventually began to skip their profiles with a pang of loss and a quiet what if? Now, he barely noticed them. Blonde. Petite. Blue eyes. Maybe she was a cheerleader at one time, maybe she was the type of girl who looked down her nose at guys like him. Maybe she was a sweetheart. In any case, he would never find out, so who cares?
He went for women he could realistically obtain…the type of women he’d dated and hooked up with in the past. Some were attractive in their own way, others were hard to look at, he wasn’t picky; he couldn’t afford to be picky. One woman he saw was a good three hundred pounds. She was nice and he liked her enough, but he lapsed into depression while they were dating and he never messaged her back…not that she made a huge effort to message him. Another was a pre-K teacher in her mid-thirties. Overweight with a big nose, glasses, and a plain face when she wasn’t wearing make-up. He liked her a lot and wanted to be with her, but after a month of weekend hookups, she said she didn’t love him. She told him she wanted a family - three kids, to be exact - but “changed her mind.” No, she didn’t. She just didn’t want those things with him.
Now she was in her late thirties, single, and having regrets.
She still wouldn’t settle for him, though.
Another woman he’d seen recently (six months ago) was fifty, but not unattractive. They texted for weeks, hot and heavy. She outright told him that she wanted to have sex with him. Said all sorts of nasty and sexual things. Their first (and only date) was her coming to his apartment. Instead of tender kisses, loving caresses, and intense emotions, they shared an awkward two hours on his couch. When he tried to hold her hand and put his arm around her, she stiffened. Not much, just a little. She said she “wasn’t ready.” He sat there and watched the flowers he’d gotten her wilt as she talked about her ex for an hour and a half, his arms pointedly crossed. He even leaned as far away from her as humanly possible, trying to communicate with his body language what he didn’t have the guts to communicate with his words: I’m uncomfortable, please leave. He planned to take her to a nice restaurant after they made love. Instead, he ordered something after she finally got the hint and left, eating alone like always.
After her, he deleted his profile (again) and resolved to never bother with dating again. Obviously there was something wrong with him. He saw guys who were uglier and more awkward than him with girlfriends, some actually stunning, but there was something about him in particular, something that repelled women…and men too.
Everyone.
It repelled everyone.
Maybe it was his self-loathing. After all, no one likes a sad sack. But that’s the thing: He was like this because of those experiences. It was a what came first, the chicken or the egg situation. Looking back, he had almost normal confidence at one point. Then all of this happened. The hundreds of messages he sent on the dating apps staying on read, unanswered, like he never sent them at all, like he was garbage unworthy of even a hello. The awkward dates. The occasional “success” that eventually fell apart…sometimes because of him, and sometimes because of them. The one girl who ran away from him when he tried to walk her to her car after a date. They didn’t click, he knew that, but he didn’t say or do anything creepy. Why did she do that? The girls who lead him on, talking about sex and sometimes even love but always had a reason they couldn’t meet.
There were other examples - many others - but it was all the same. Who cared?
Dom wanted to crawl back into his hole and stay there, to stop poking his head out and getting hurt. He wanted it so bad…but he was only human. Deep down, buried beneath layer after layer of scar tissue, there was still hope. Hope for love, for companionship, for acceptance, for intimacy and human touch. It was only an ember now, but even an ember is enough to spark a fire.
Some nights, he wanted to be safe. Other nights, he wanted to take a risk.
And this night was one of the latter.
Be there soon, he texted. He swallowed hard and wetted his lips. His heart was pounding faster and his bowels were loose. He really hoped this worked out. He didn’t think he could handle another rejection. If she turned him down, he’d probably go home and kill himself. Why go on like this?
He’d had that thought before…but he never followed through.
Maybe one day he’d actually shut the fuck up and do it already.
Maybe.
Ok :)
Her name was Heather and she was fat. She was not unattractive in the face and she wore her weight well, not that that mattered - he would take what he could get. They started talking on OKCupid last week and very soon, the conversation became sexual. He didn’t start it, though, she did. She was ahem very excited, she said. He liked to think that she was lonely, desperate, and wanted intimacy - any intimacy - just like him.
That really turned him on.
They agreed to meet, and now here he was, on the bus to her apartment on the other side of the city, hoping against hope that she didn’t hurt him too.
He put the phone away and stared straight ahead. The bus was nearly deserted, save for an old bag lady up front and a few Mexican guys in the back. Lights lined the bus’s roof, providing a cold, impersonal light. Dom took a deep breath and forced his dark emotions away. It was all on him to make this work. He would accept her fat, ugly, poor, and crippled, but he had to work to earn her love. He could do it.
When the bus finally reached his stop, he yanked the cord and got off. There was a plexiglass shelter lit by a single, lonely bulb. Trash littered the ground. Beyond the shelter, a park lay in darkness. Behind him, on the other side of the road, a housing project not unlike his own towered into the sky, lit up like a ship at sail. Dom swallowed his nerves and crossed the street. He found the door that she had directed him to use, and climbed the stairs. He expected trash, graffiti, and winos passed out on every landing. Instead, the stairwell was clean and deserted. His nerves welled as he climbed but he forced them down again. On the ninth floor, he went down the hall, battered on all sides by the stale smells of cooking and the murmur of TVs and voices coming from every apartment.
Dom paused at Apartment 237.
Heather’s.
You got this, he told himself.
And really, he did. Their plan - well, Heather’s, really - was simple and straightforward. She told him that she would leave the door unlocked. He was to come in, go to the bedroom, and she would be waiting for him. She said it was a fantasy of hers.
On some level, he knew all along that the whole setup sounded fishy. Was he being set up to get robbed? Would he walk in and get jumped by a bunch of Crips? He hesitated, but his need for love - and, yes, release - pushed him on.
He opened the door.
Inside, the apartment was small and messy, a living room to the right and a tiny kitchen to the left. The only light on was the one above the stove.
Everything else was in shadows.
Dom’s heart skipped a beat.
This didn’t feel right.
That thought was overpowered by the smell, a sickly sweet odor that suddenly seemed to be everywhere. His stomach twisted and he turned his head slightly to one side, as if to spare his nose. It smelled like something spoiled.
A voice spoke from the darkness, startling him. “I’m in here.”
It was light, airy, and cute.
For the last time, Dom hesitated. Some primal sense told him to turn around and leave…
…but he wanted to be loved.
Dom entered and shut the door behind him.
The smell was stronger. The atmosphere darker.
Ahead, he could barely make out an open doorway in the shadows.
He crossed to it.
The smell was overpowering here and Dom felt like he was going to puke. Any desire he had felt was gone, replaced only by revulsion and claustrophobia. It was cold, he realized, so cold that his teeth chattered.
Okay, fuck this.
He started to turn around, intent on leaving, but a small, white hand reached from the darkness. Icy fingertips brushed his cheek and his heart blasted into his throat.
Then she was there, her body pressing against his and her lips fused with his. The smell, the freezer chill, both stronger than ever.
They were both coming from her.
Her tongue hungrily lashed his own, and she pushed him against the wall. Her hands slipped under his shirt and pressed flat against his chest. They were so cold that he almost cried out.
Dom wanted to push her away, to run, but he didn’t. Instead, he froze up and allowed her to push him onto the bed. Was he too gutless to tell her no, the way he’d been too gutless to tell the woman who went on and on about her ex to shut up and leave? Did he secretly want to go through with this? He didn’t know, and he didn’t have time to figure it out. She was on top of him now, straddling him, his legs caged between her ample thighs. She grabbed his hands and pressed them to her bare breasts.
They were as cold as the rest of her.
She leaned down and kissed him again. He hadn’t noticed it before, but her tongue was…dry. Her mouth itself tasted strange. Off.
Heather broke from his lips and peppered kisses on his cheek and forehead, assaulting him with an intimacy that Dom no longer wanted.
Through it all, she was as silent as a tomb. She wasn’t panting or rasping with excitement. In fact, he didn’t think she was even breathing.
She brushed her lips along the exposed curve of his throat, and tingles of revulsion shot down his spine. She found his pulse and kissed it. Trembles of excitement raced through her body and she started to lap his neck like a dog.
Without warning, a fiery pinprick of pain exploded over him and Heather began to shake and pant. Dom cried out and tried to fight her off, but she was too heavy, too much.
With a tiny, mouse-like squeak - a sound of pitiable fear and resignation - Dom blacked out.