This is what I posted on the board game community in Korea, and I'm also translating and posting it on Reddit!
The translation and text inspection took a long time, but I'm posting it because I think croquinol gamers from other countries will enjoy reading it.
(I don't know how to put pictures in between when writing on Reddit. If you're curious about pictures while reading, please visit the link below. You may not understand Korean, but pictures are visual information so they can be understood universally)
https://boardlife.co.kbbs_detail.php?tb=community_post&bbs_num=26766
Not long ago in early May, I ran a croquinol booth for students and parents at a Children's Day event (it was held on the grounds of the University of Education)
The head of the school affairs department suggested, "I heard you like board games, do you want to run a booth?" so I thought very hard. Actually, it was bothersome.
In the end, I accepted because I wanted to make good memories with children as well as selling croquinol. At first, I thought it was easy to take a few croquinols and play a few rounds.
It wasn't long before I realized that the idea was very wrong. This is because there were so many things to consider operating the booth. The program should be organized in consideration of the number of users and the number of people visiting.
The arrangement of objects and the movement of people should also be considered. I shouldn't think, 'I'm done explaining the game to the students in moderation and watching them play.'
I have to think about the details. I thought about it until the day of operation and right before it started. Now that it's been decided so far, I'll have to recruit staff to run it together (this was the most difficult problem)
Finally, find out the products to give to the visiting children and purchase them, purchase notices to be installed in the booth, and other things necessary to proceed or make them
For two weeks, I spent a lot of time and energy thinking about and preparing for how to operate the booth. I thought a lot about what to give as the prize, but it was finally decided to go down
(1) Pokémon Key Chain Pokémon is definitely a successful IP!!
I decided it right away because it looked so pretty and the quality looked good. There were some that were really cheap, but the quality was really... It was a pity, so I put in more budget
(2) ritter sport chocolate It's economical because there are 200 in a pack I tried one to see if it's poisonous What????? This chocolate tastes pretty good...
(3) Crockinol Pencil (Steadler + Engrave) Originally, I didn't want to give pencils, but if I imprint them and give them to students, I thought they could remember croquinol for quite some time, so I made it meaningful.
If you look closely at the pencil, you can see the image of a disc bouncing with a finger. It took a long time to think of the word 'dream tree' in the engraved phrase. (Offered words: rookie, genius, child, master, king, god, etc.) Since there are no other people to help me, I planned and produced a lot of things by myself.... lol
I recruited the operating personnel as follows
Head of the school affairs department -> Recruit me (one-person planner and business manager): Let's compare and analyze croquinol sales and rest at home and then experience it. Decided
Me-> First cast (S teacher): A versatile teacher who has been in the next class since we met in the 6th grade this year He became interested after being introduced to Crockinol by me. Enjoying Crockinol at home with his wife. Canadian style. (He said he was doing it without giving it away.) After receiving a proposal from me, "I'll do all the preparations, so please come and let the children know the games without any burden," he decided to participate after much consideration. I'm playing with my kids in the classroom, and my croquinol skills are increasing rapidly. I'm planning to promote the entire 6th grade croquinol competition later.
Second cast (Teacher C): My younger brother who met as a manager and a staff member at my last school and became very close. The same person who said in an old article that he helped move the classroom!
Together, we played about 400 rounds of croquinol 1:1 match. He made a lot of mistakes in his early days, but after hundreds of editions, he became enlightened at some point. He has become quite a master.
His powerful shots made a lot of crazy scenes. Among them, he sent five discs of his opponent to a ditch at the same time. When he was asked by me to help him, he accepted without hesitation. (He is expected to participate in the next event.)
Third cast (Teacher K): I am a teacher from another region, and I am close to him because I got to know him in a club. She was the last to be recruited, and she suggested liter port chocolate and keychain among the product ideas. Pencils were also highly recommended when I was thinking about it.
Lastly, he volunteered after seeing me thinking about recruiting one more person.
She's the only teacher who doesn't have a croquinol, and she doesn't usually have a chance to train, so she's still a beginner's skill.
Rather, a person who is expected to revitalize the booth operation because of that. (If teachers do too well, all students lose.) For the record, she has a board gamer gene that can also play Arcnova board games.
※ In addition, there is a sad history of rejection and subtly falling over during the recruitment process.
And I started setting it up on the day!! Visit early with teacher C and install one croquinol on three tables in the tent
At first, I was worried because the table was in the shape of a rectangle, but I could put things here and there. If you put the croquinol at an angle on the table, it was possible to conduct a 2:2 team, so there was no problem.
After I finished setting up, I sat down for a bit and tried a croquinol test. Played without any problems. The shot was even better because I told them to cut their nails, including myself.
However, there was a lot of dust on the tables and chairs provided by the company, so I hurriedly cleaned them. The remaining two operators also narrowly joined, and a total of four people were matched.
After that, I had time to start operating the booth as a whole They're here...!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The name of the booth was 'Gather up here if you're confident in flicking', but I think I drew some aggro. Other places looked healthy like making animal bracelets, but our booth was like, "You! Come if you're confident!"
The booth was originally planned like this Planning the rules of the game: - If you feel uncomfortable, you can stand and shoot freely - In the case of 1:1, the original use of the 1/4 shooting line based on North America and Canada, rather than the use of the 1/2 shooting line that changed the rules in Korean company Korea Board Games. - A student who is too young is forced to shoot with a line forward. Two places are experience seats and listen to and experience the rules 1:1 or 2:2 (Parents and friends can participate together) - The experience gift is one litre pot chocolate - Rule Description -> Shot Practice -> consists of a two-game friendly
If you have learned the rules through the experience, go to the challenge seat of one place and challenge 1:1 or 2:2 (you can also participate together) - If you win, you'll get a Pokémon keychain, even if you lose, you'll get a 1/3 chance of a keychain and a 2/3 chance of a pencil through a lottery - Using one chance card, we will proceed with two sets, and if the student draws or wins even one set, it will be considered a victory. - Re-challenge possible when you line up again The booth gradually gathered and filled the corner, and the line got longer
I repeated the explanation and game so wildly!
The first episode : Even though it was in the shade of the tent, the temperature was high, so the chocolate melted. The student said it melted, so I touched it and it was liquid! Unfortunately, we can't give these defective products to students, so we decided to go to the challenge seat without giving them away in the experience seat.
The second episode : Our classmates are here! I heard a voice saying, "Teacher!" and I can see the 6th grade girls in my class
Of course, we played the game. I tried to lose, but I thought that if I lost too much, the student would notice, so I made mistakes from time to time, but these guys made more mistakes!
It ended with me winning or drawing (I should have made it more clear and lost... lol) I said, "This is just an experience seat, so it doesn't matter, show your real skills in the challenge seat," and sent the girl to another corner
The third episode : People were buzzing that a very famous politician visited the booth next door. (He was Korea's presidential candidate.) I looked up and saw the face that I saw on screen Although I was curious, I had my day job as a board gamer, so I welcomed students and focused on explaining the rules. Later, I found out that he talked to a student who experienced our booth and passed by
The 4th episode : The booth operators were not given a separate lunch break! It was announced that they would take turns eating lunch boxes. There were quite a few people... and I barely had time to eat. One person will be in charge of one booth, and one person will take turns eating I'm the type to eat slowly while tasting the taste, but I didn't have much time to relax on this day, so I sat on the stand and came back in a hurry that I couldn't even feel the taste
The fifth episode : There are so many people, and especially in the case of the challenge seat, the waiting line is longer, so to solve the bottleneck, we decided to take both the place and challenge as an experience seat It was the same with the booth I was in. I don't know what this day is... I made more mistakes than usual and often missed shots because I was nervous dealing with children. Hahaha
The 6th episode : The operations staff at the next table said, "A kid came up with a challenge and beat me." He got the prize, of course But after that, the student was still in the viewing room and gave advice to other participating children, saying, "I win all of them," showing a lot of confidence Then the child triumphantly challenged the management staff again! He must have wanted to win again. What was the result? According to him, he showed the dignity of an adult with his skills to children Of course, he gave away a croquinol pencil this time!!
The 7th episode : I explained the rules so much that the script was automatically made "This game is a 150-year-old game of Canada known to have started in 1876.... "In Canada, it's a daily sport that many families have and play throughout their lives, from childhood to grandmothers and grandparents. The rules are simple: if you put it in here, it's 20 points, this is 15 points....." I can't remember how many times I repeated the script above! The eighth episode : There are people who waited for an hour to listen to it while organizing it I've already experienced it and moved to the challenge seat, but the challenge seat lines are too long... Did they feel like they were waiting for a long line in the amusement park... ㅠㅠ Parents were tired of waiting, so they asked to go to another booth, but the child said, "Since I've experienced it, I really want to try it. I want to take a Pokémon keychain!" and waited a lot. It must have been very boring for parents, but there was no other way. I thought the quality of the operation would be very low to just experience/challenge one game at a time 2 play experience + 2 play challenge was the minimum number of plays to feel a little croquinol
The ninth episode : After eating, I heard parents and children talking "This is where we play Alkagi. Shall we play Alkagi?" "Let's do it!" If you had written the booth title, "Who wants to play croquinol?" no one would know croquinol, so accessibility would have been low But when the title said "Alkkagi", I was proud of him coming in without any pressure
The 10th episode : The official closing time of the booth was 4 p.m At around 3:50 p.m., I took a breath and looked at other places, and some places had already withdrawn, and I was usually cleaning up, so the atmosphere was clear But our booth is still full It lasted beyond hours Is this the power of crocinol?
The 11th episode : Time has been deleted I was worried about what if time went by during that long time of operating the booth, but it was a mistake. We were so busy explaining and playing that we didn't have time to look at the clock, and when we came to our senses, it was a time when the end was imminent. I couldn't even go to the bathroom for five hours. Because it was hectic, the operation ended without a comparative analysis of 'Are many people visiting other booths? How popular is our booth?' (When I saw the photos and videos later, I could see that our booth was more crowded than other booths.)
The 12th episode : I tried a lot to react to it in my own way. I really complimented the kid every time he hit the disc. I exaggerated a little bit like I became a YouTuber and shouted a compliment chant out loud A young girl who looked like elementary 1 or 2 sat down (around 7-8 years old) I finished explaining the rules, and asked her to practice shooting a few times. After that, we started playing the game. The girl said she would do it first, and she took the first shot of her life's first game. It went straight into the center hole. There was applause from all around. I said, "Even I couldn't put it in at first. It's amazing." Congratulations on your best experience." She's made a lot of mistakes in play since then, but it doesn't matter at all! There's nothing more touching than the first shot of 20 The parents who were nearby filmed this scene and will cherish this meaningful moment for a long time
The 13th episode : There seemed to be something interesting to see other crocinol tables also clapping, wow, oh, oh From the perspective of planning, all these reactions are a gift
The 14th episode : There were a lot of spectators while explaining/playing There were a lot of comments about the rules of the game "You have to hit the disc when it's on the surface" "Oh!" A male parent was glad to hear that he knew croquinol "I knew this game since it came out last year. It was about 110 dollars, but I didn't buy it because it was expensive." (It's more expensive now. It's about $140)
The 15th episode : We allowed a re-challenge in the 'Beat the Teacher' section, caressing the hearts of children thirsty for crocinol Some students tried again 3 times (The challenge itself takes about 1 minute and 30 seconds for the first round, 3 minutes in total, so it doesn't take much.)
The 16th episode : After 4 p.m., I looked at the other booth thinking about when to organize it, and a boy who looked like a fourth grade in the challenge seat was doing very well Her parents were also amazed by it The accuracy of each step wasn't unusual He said he came back to try it out and do it again Looking at the game, he unfortunately lost to Teacher S by 5 points when he made a mistake of 2 turns in the second half Teacher S told the student. " Try it with that teacher. He's the best While sitting down, I asked, "Do you want me to do it with all my strength or not?" I laughed and asked At first, the student said, "Please be generous!" but later changed his words to "With full strength." "Haha, okay. I'll go with all my strength!" The student said he would attack first and tried an open shot and went straight into the center hole "Wow... does this make sense?" I also chased along the disc in the center hole. That's how I tried to hit my opponent's disc in Hogan's alley and accidentally wasted three turns. The result is that the student who leads by 15 points wins... The child liked it very much and came home with a light step with his parents "Thank you for your hard work. Bye!" When I looked at the playground with the back of my family leaving after saying hello, the sun was slowly heading down, scattering light everywhere and giving the lawn a cozy view What could be a more peaceful landscape. He must have felt really good on his way home. I thought he lost well
Finish writing : When I was in college, I ran a different kind of booth when I was the president of a club, but it was the first time I ran it this way in relation to board games.
At that time, there were a lot of club members and the space was very spacious, so the event was held comfortably, but the croquinol booth was operated in a very minimal condition: 1 tent, 3 tables, 3 croquinols, and 4 people in operation
Still, it ended successfully as it exceeded the time without an accident, so considering that it is the first operation under this condition, it should be considered a great success.
The operation of this croquinol booth was planned by myself and prepared for the program, so I have a lot of attachment.
I'm grateful to the three people who ran it together (they were dispatched from each elementary school publicly and privately). As expected, people are the most important.
I'm willing to do it again if I have to participate in the booth event another month this year or if I have to run it again next year. I think we can do it in a better way than now
For example, I dream of running a mini-contest by installing more tables. There's a mini trophy, and I think the kid who got it will really like it. (Of course we need a lot more people than we do now...!)

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J. V. Stalin
The Party's Tasks Report Delivered at an Enlarged Meeting of the Krasnaya Presnya District Committee of the R.C.P.(B.) With Group Organisers, Members of the Debating Society and of the Bureau of the Party Units December 2, 1923 Source : Works, Vol. 5, 1921 - 1923 Publisher : Foreign Languages Publishing House, Moscow, 1954 Transcription/Markup : Salil Sen for MIA, 2008 Public Domain : Marxists Internet Archive (2008). You may freely copy, distribute, display and perform this work; as well as make derivative and commercial works. Please credit "Marxists Internet Archive" as your source.
Comrades, first of all I must say that I am delivering a report here in my personal capacity and not in the name of the Central Committee of the Party. If the meeting is willing to hear such a report, I am at your service. (Voices : "Yes.") This does not mean that I disagree with the Central Committee in any way on this question; not at all. I am speaking here in my personal capacity only because the commission of the Central Committee for drafting measures to improve the internal situation in the Party 1 is to present its findings to the Central Committee in a day or two; these findings have not yet been presented, and therefore I have as yet no formal right to speak in the name of the Central Committee, although I am sure that what I am about to say to you will, in the main, express the Central Committee's position on these questions.
Discussion — A Sign of the Party's Strength The first question I would like to raise here is that of the significance of the discussion that is now taking place in the press and in the Party units. What does this discussion show? What does it indicate? Is it a storm that has burst into the calm life of the Party? Is this discussion a sign of the Party's disintegration, its decay, as some say, or of its degeneration, as others say?
I think, comrades, that it is neither one nor the other: there is neither degeneration nor disintegration. The fact of the matter is that the Party has grown more mature during the past period; it has adequately rid itself of useless ballast; it has become more proletarian. You know that two years ago we had not less than 700,000 members; you know that several thousand members have dropped out, or have been kicked out, of the Party. Further, the Party membership has improved, its quality has risen in this period as a result of the improvement in the conditions of the working class due to the revival of industry, as a result of the return of the old skilled workers from the countryside, and as a result of the new wave of cultural development that is spreading among the industrial workers.
In short, owing to all these circumstances, the Party has grown more mature, its quality has risen, its needs have grown, it has become more exacting, it wants to know more than it has known up to now, and it wants to decide more than it has up to now.
The discussion which has opened is not a sign of the Party's weakness, still less is it a sign of its disintegration or degeneration; it is a sign of strength, a sign of firmness, a sign of the improvement in the quality of the Party's membership, a sign of its increased activity.
Causes of the Discussion The second question that confronts us is: what has caused the question of internal Party policy to become so acute precisely in the present period, in the autumn of this year? How is this to be explained? What were the causes? I think, comrades, that there were two causes.
The first cause was the wave of discontent and strikes over wages that swept through certain districts of the republic in August of this year. The fact of the matter is that this strike wave exposed the defects in our organisations; it revealed the isolation of our organisations— both Party and trade-union—from the events taking place in the factories. And in connection with this strike wave the existence was discovered within our Party of several secret organisations of an essentially anti-communist nature, which strove to disintegrate the Party. All these defects revealed by the strike wave were exposed to the Party so glaringly, and with such a sobering effect, that it felt the necessity for internal Party changes.
The second cause of the acuteness of the question of internal Party policy precisely at the present moment was the wholesale release of Party comrades to go on vacation. It is natural, of course, for comrades to go on vacation, but this assumed such a mass character, that Party activity became considerably weaker precisely at the time when the discontent arose in the factories, and that greatly helped to expose the accumulated defects just at this period, in the autumn of this year.
Defects in Internal Party Life I have mentioned defects in our Party life that were exposed in the autumn of this year, and which brought up the question of improving internal Party life. What are these defects in internal Party life? Is it that the Party line was wrong, as some comrades think; or that, although the Party's line was correct, in practice it departed from the right road, was distorted because of certain subjective and objective conditions?
I think that the chief defect in our internal Party life is that, although the Party's line, as expressed in the decisions of our congresses, is correct, in the localities (not everywhere, of course, but in certain districts) it was put into practice in an incorrect way. While the proletarian-democratic line of our Party was correct, the way it was put into practice in the localities resulted in cases of bureaucratic distortion of this line.
That is the chief defect. The existence of contradictions between the basic Party line as laid down by the Congresses (Tenth, Eleventh and Twelfth), and the way our organisations put this line into practice in the locali-ties—that is the foundation of all the defects in internal Party life.
The Party line says that the major questions of our Party activities, except, of course, those that brook no delay, or those that are military or diplomatic secrets, must without fail be discussed at Party meetings. That is what the Party line says. But in Party practice in the localities, not everywhere, of course, it was considered that there is really no great need for a number of questions concerning internal Party practice to be discussed at Party meetings since the Central Committee and the other leading organisations will decide these questions.
The Party line says that our Party officials must without fail be elected unless there are insuperable obstacles to this, such as absence of the necessary Party standing, and so forth. You know that, according to the Party rules, secretaries of Gubernia Committees must have a pre-October Party standing, secretaries of Uyezd Committees must have at least three years', and units secretaries a year's, Party standing. In Party practice, however, it was often considered that since a certain Party standing was needed, no real elections were needed.
The Party line says that the Party membership must be kept informed about the work of the economic organisations, the factories and trusts, for, naturally, our Party units are morally responsible to the non-Party masses for the defects in the factories. Nevertheless, in Party practice it was considered that since there is a Central Committee which issues directives to the economic organisations, and since these economic organisations are bound by those directives, the latter will be carried out without control from below by the mass of the Party membership.
The Party line says that responsible workers in different branches of work, whether Party, economic, trade-union, or military workers, notwithstanding their specialisation in their own particular work, are interconnected, constitute inseparable parts of one whole, for they are all working in the common cause of the proletariat, which cannot be torn into parts. In Party practice, however, it was considered that since there is specialisation, division of labour according to properly Party activity and economic, military, etc., activity, the Party officials are not responsible for those working in the economic sphere, the latter are not responsible for the Party officials, and, in general, that the weakening and even loss of connection between them are inevitable.
Such, comrades, are, in general, the contradictions between the Party line, as registered in a number of decisions of our Congresses, from the Tenth to the Twelfth, and Party practice.
I am far from blaming the local organisations for this distortion of the Party line, for, when you come to examine it, this is not so much the fault as the misfortune of our local organisations. The nature of this misfortune, and how things could have taken this turn, I shall tell you later on, but I wanted to register this fact in order to reveal this contradiction to you and then try to propose measures for improvement.
I am also far from considering our Central Committee to be blameless. It, too, has sinned, as has every institution and organisation; it, too, shares part of the blame and part of the misfortune: blame, at least, for not, whatever the reason, exposing these defects in time, and for not taking measures to eliminate them.
But that is not the point now. The point now is to ascertain the causes of the defects I have just spoken about. Indeed, how did these defects arise, and how can they be removed?
The Causes of the Defects The first cause is that our Party organisations have not yet rid themselves, or have still not altogether rid themselves, of certain survivals of the war period, a period that has passed, but has left in the minds of our responsible workers vestiges of the military regime in the Party. I think that these survivals find expression in the view that our Party is not an independently acting organism, not an independently acting, militant organisation of the proletariat, but something in the nature of a system of institutions, something in the nature of a complex of institutions in which there are officials of lower rank and officials of higher rank. That, comrades, is a profoundly mistaken view that has nothing in common with Marxism; that view is a survival that we have inherited from the war period, when we militarised the Party, when the question of the independent activity of the mass of the Party membership had necessarily to be shifted into the background and military orders were of decisive importance. I do not remember that this view was ever definitely expressed; nevertheless, it, or elements of it, still influences our work. Comrades, we must combat such views with all our might, for they are a very real danger and create favourable conditions for the distortion in practice of the essentially correct line of our Party.
The second cause is that our state apparatus, which is bureaucratic to a considerable degree, exerts a certain amount of pressure on the Party and the Party workers. In 1917, when we were forging ahead, towards October, we imagined that we would have a Commune, a free association of working people, that we would put an end to bureaucracy in government institutions, and that it would be possible, if not in the immediate period, then within two or three short periods, to transform the state into a free association of working people. Practice has shown, however, that this is still an ideal which is a long way off, that to rid the state of the elements of bureaucracy, to transform Soviet society into a free association of working people, the people must have a high level of culture, peace conditions must be fully guaranteed all around us so as to remove the necessity of maintaining a large standing army, which entails heavy expenditure and cumbersome administrative departments, the very existence of which leaves its impress upon all the other state institutions. Our state apparatus is bureaucratic to a considerable degree, and it will remain so for a long time to come. Our Party comrades work in this apparatus, and the situation—I might say the atmosphere—in this bureaucratic apparatus is such that it helps to bureaucratise our Party workers and our Party organisations.
The third cause of the defects, comrades, is that some of our units are not sufficiently active, they are backward, and in some cases, particularly in the border regions, they are even wholly illiterate. In these districts, the units display little activity and are politically and culturally backward. That circumstance, too, undoubtedly creates a favourable soil for the distortion of the Party line.
The fourth cause is the absence of a sufficient number of trained Party comrades in the localities. Recently, in the Central Committee, I heard the report of a representative of one of the Ukrainian organisations. The reporter was a very capable comrade who shows great promise. He said that of 130 units, 80 have secretaries who were appointed by the Gubernia Committee. In answer to the remark that this organisation was acting wrongly in this respect, the comrade pleaded that there were no literate people in the units, that they consisted of new members, that the units themselves ask for secretaries to be sent them, and so forth. I may grant that half of what this comrade said was an overstatement, that the matter is not only that there are no trained people in the units, but also that the Gubernia Committee was over-zealous and followed the old tradition. But even if the Gubernia Committee was correct only to the extent of fifty per cent, is it not obvious that if there are such units in the Ukraine, how many more like them must there be in the border regions, where the organisations are young, where there are fewer Party cadres and less literacy than in the Ukraine? That is also one of the factors that create favourable conditions for the distortion in practice of the essentially correct Party line.
Lastly, the fifth cause—insufficient information. We sent out too little information, and this applies primarily to the Central Committee, possibly because it is overburdened with work. We receive too little information from the localities. This must cease. This is also a serious cause of the defects that have accumulated within the Party.
How should the Defects in Internal Party Life be Removed ? What measures must be adopted to remove these defects?
The first thing is tirelessly, by every means, to combat the survivals and habits of the war period in our Party, to combat the erroneous view that our Party is a system of institutions, and not a militant organisation of the proletariat, which is intellectually vigorous, acts independently, lives a full life, is destroying the old and creating the new.
Secondly, the activity of the mass of the Party membership must be increased; all questions of interest to the membership in so far as they can be openly discussed must be submitted to it for open discussion, and the possibility ensured of free criticism of all proposals made by the different Party bodies. Only in this way will it be possible to convert Party discipline into really conscious, really iron discipline; only in this way will it be possible to increase the political, economic and cultural experience of the mass of Party members; only in this way will it be possible to create the conditions necessary to enable the Party membership, step by step, to promote new active workers, new leaders, from its ranks.
Thirdly, the principle of election must be applied in practice to all Party bodies and official posts, if there are no insuperable obstacles to this such as lack of the necessary Party standing, and so forth. We must eliminate the practice of ignoring the will of the majority of the organisations in promoting comrades to responsible
Party posts, and we must see to it that the principle of election is actually applied.
Fourthly, there must exist under the Central Committee and the Gubernia and Regional Committees permanently functioning conferences of responsible workers in all fields of work—economic, Party, trade-union and military; these conferences must be held regularly and discuss any question they consider it necessary to discuss; the interconnection between the workers in all fields must not be broken; all these workers must feel that they are all members of a single Party family, working in a common cause, the cause of the proletariat, which is indivisible; the Central Committee and the local organisations must create an environment that will enable the Party to acquire and test the experience of our responsible workers in all spheres of work.
Fifthly, our Party units in the factories must be drawn into dealing with the various questions relating to the course of affairs in the respective enterprises and trusts. Things must be so arranged that the units are kept informed about the work of the administrations of our enterprises and trusts and are able to exert an influence on this work. You, as representatives of units, are aware how great is the moral responsibility of our factory units to the non-Party masses for the course of affairs in the factories. For the unit to be able to lead and win the following of the non-Party masses in the factory, for it to be able to bear responsibility for the course of affairs in the factory—and it certainly has a moral responsibility to the non-Party masses for defects in the work of the factory—the unit must be kept informed about these affairs, it must be possible for it to influence them in one way or another. Therefore, the units must be drawn into the discussion of economic questions relating to their factories, and economic conferences of representatives of the factory units in a given trust must be called from time to time to discuss questions relating to the affairs of the trust. This is one of the surest ways both of enlarging the economic experience of the Party membership and of organising control from below.
Sixthly, the quality of the membership of our Party units must be improved. Zinoviev has already said in an article of his that here and there the quality of the membership of our Party units is below that of the surrounding non-Party masses.
That statement, of course, must not be generalised and applied to all the units. It would be more exact to say the following for example: our Party units would be on a much higher cultural level than they are now, and would have much greater authority among non-Party people, if we had not denuded these units, if we had not taken from them people we needed for economic, administrative, trade-union and all sorts of other work. If our working-class comrades, the cadres we have taken from the units during the past six years, were to return to their units, does it need proof that those units would stand head and shoulders above all the non-Party workers, even the most advanced? Precisely because the Party has no other cadres with which to improve the state apparatus, precisely because the Party will be obliged to continue using that source, our units will remain on a somewhat unsatisfactory cultural level unless we take urgent measures to improve the quality of their membership. First of all, Party educational work in the units must be increased to the utmost; furthermore, we must get rid of the excessive formalism our local organisations sometimes display in accepting working-class comrades into the Party. I think that we must not allow ourselves to be bound by formalism; the Party can, and must, create easier conditions for the acceptance of new members from the ranks of the working class. That has already begun in the local organisations. The Party must take this matter in hand and launch an organised campaign for creating easier access to the Party for new members from workers at the bench.
Seventhly, work must be intensified among the non-Party workers. This is another means of improving the internal Party situation, of increasing the activity of the Party membership. I must say that our organisations are still paying little attention to the task of drawing non-Party workers into our Soviets. Take, for example, the elections to the Moscow Soviet that are being held now. I consider that one of the big defects in these elections is that too few non-Party people are being elected. It is said that there exists a decision of the organisation to the effect that at least a certain number, a certain percentage, etc., of non-Party people are to be elected; but I see that, in fact, a far smaller number is being elected. It is said that the masses are eager to elect only Communists. I have my doubts about that, comrades. I think that unless we show a certain degree of confidence in the non-Party people they may answer by becoming very distrustful of our organisations. This confidence in the non-Party people is absolutely necessary, comrades. Communists must be induced to withdraw their candidatures.
Speeches must not be delivered urging the election only of Communists; non-Party people must be encouraged, they must be drawn into the work of administering the state. We shall gain by this and in return receive the reciprocal confidence of the non-Party people in our organisations. The elections in Moscow are an example of the degree to which our organisations are beginning to isolate themselves within their Party shell instead of enlarging their field of activity and, step by step, rallying the non-Party people around themselves.
Eighthly, work among the peasants must be intensified. I do not know why our village units, which in some places are wilting, are losing their members and are not trusted much by the peasants (this must be admitted)—I do not know why, for instance, two practical tasks cannot be set these units: firstly, to interpret and popularise the Soviet laws which affect peasant life; secondly, to agitate for and disseminate elementary agronomic knowledge, if only the knowledge that it is necessary to plough the fields in proper time, to sift seed, etc. Do you know, comrades, that if every peasant were to decide to devote a little labour to the sifting of seed, it would be possible without land improvement, and without introducing new machines, to obtain an increase in crop yield amounting to about ten poods per dessiatin? And what does an increase in crop yield of ten poods per dessiatin mean? It means an increase in the gross crop of a thousand million poods per annum. And all this could be achieved without great effort. Why should not our village units take up this matter? Is it less important than talking about Curzon's policy? The peasants would then realise that the Communists have stopped engaging in empty talk and have got down to real business; and then our village units would win the boundless confidence of the peasants.
There is no need for me to stress how necessary it is, for improving and reviving Party life, to intensify Party and political educational work among the youth, the source of new cadres, in the Red Army, among women delegates, and among non-Party people in general.
Nor will I dwell upon the importance of increasing the interchange of information, about which I have already spoken, of increasing the supply of information from the top downwards and from below upwards.
Such, comrades, are the measures for improvement, the course towards internal Party democracy which the Central Committee set as far back as September of this year, and which must be put into practice by all Party organisations from top to bottom.
I would now like to deal with two extremes, two obsessions, on the question of workers' democracy that were to be noted in some of the discussion articles in Pravda.
The first extreme concerns the election principle. It manifests itself in some comrades wanting to have elections "throughout." Since we stand for the election principle, let us go the whole hog in electing! Party standing? What do we want that for? Elect whomever you please. That is a mistaken view, comrades. The Party will not accept it. Of course, we are not now at war; we are in a period of peaceful development. But we are now living under the NEP. Do not forget that, comrades. The Party began the purge not during, but after the war. Why? Because, during the war, fear of defeat drew the Party together into one whole, and some of the disruptive elements in the Party were compelled to keep to the general line of the Party, which was faced with the question of life or death. Now these bonds have fallen away, for we are not now at war; now we have the NEP, we have permitted a revival of capitalism, and the bourgeoisie is reviving. True, all this helps to purge the Party, to strengthen it; but on the other hand, we are being enveloped in a new atmosphere by the nascent and growing bourgeoisie, which is not very strong yet, but which has already succeeded in beating some of our co-operatives and trading organisations in internal trade. It was precisely after the introduction of the NEP that the Party began the purge and reduced its membership by half; it was precisely after the introduction of the NEP that the Party decided that, in order to protect our organisations from the contagion of the NEP, it was necessary, for example, to hinder the influx of non-proletarian elements into the Party, that it was necessary that Party officials should have a definite Party standing, and so forth. Was the Party right in taking these precautionary measures, which restricted "expanded" democracy? I think it was. That is why I think that we must have democracy, we must have the election principle, but the restrictive measures that were adopted by the Eleventh and Twelfth Congresses, at least the chief ones, must still remain in force.
The second extreme concerns the question of the limits of the discussion. This extreme manifests itself in some comrades demanding unlimited discussion; they think that the discussion of problems is the be all and end all of Party work and forget about the other aspect of Party work, namely, action, which calls for the implementation of the Party's decisions. At all events, this was the impression I gained from the short article by Radzin, who tried to substantiate the principle of unlimited discussion by a reference to Trotsky, who is alleged to have said that "the Party is a voluntary association of like-minded people." I searched for that sentence in Trotsky's works, but could not find it. Trotsky could scarcely have uttered it as a finished formula for the definition of the Party; and if he did utter it, he could scarcely have stopped there. The Party is not only an association of like-minded people; it is also an association of like-acting people, it is a militant association of like-acting people who are fighting on a common ideological basis (programme, tactics). I think that the reference to Trotsky is out of place, for I know Trotsky as one of the members of the Central Committee who most of all stress the active side of Party work. I think, therefore, that Radzin himself must bear responsibility for this definition. But what does this definition lead to? One of two possibilities: either that the Party will degenerate into a sect, into a philosophical school, for only in such narrow organisations is complete like-minded-ness possible; or that it will become a permanent debating society, eternally discussing and eternally arguing, until the point is reached where factions form and the Party is split. Our Party cannot accept either of these possibilities. This is why I think that the discussion of problems is needed, a discussion is needed, but limits must be set to such discussion in order to safeguard the Party, to safeguard this fighting unit of the proletariat, against degenerating into a debating society.
In concluding my report, I must warn you, comrades, against these two extremes. I think that if we reject both these extremes and honestly and resolutely steer the course towards internal Party democracy that the Central Committee set already in September of this year, we shall certainly achieve an improvement in our Party work. (Applause.)
Pravda, No. 277, December 6, 1923
Notes 1. This refers to the commission set up in conformity with the decision of the Political Bureau and of the Plenum of the Central Committee of the R.C.P.(B.) which took place on September 23-25, 1923.
Collected Works Index Volume 5 Index Works by Decade J. V. Stalin Archive Marxists Internet Archive

Father's Day is a special occasion dedicated to honoring fathers and father figures for their love, guidance, and support. It's a time to show appreciation for all that dads do and celebrate the important role they play in our lives. If you're wondering when Father's Day is and how you can celebrate, read on for a guide to this meaningful day.

When is Father's Day?

Father's Day is typically celebrated on the third Sunday of June each year. In many countries around the world, including the United States, Canada, the United Kingdom, and many others, Father's Day falls on this date. However, it's essential to note that the date may vary in some countries or regions.

How to Celebrate Father's Day

1. Quality Time Together: Spend quality time with your dad doing activities he enjoys. Whether it's going for a hike, playing a round of golf, or simply sharing a meal together, the gift of time is priceless.
2. Personalized Gifts: Show your dad how much he means to you with a personalized gift. This could be a custom-made mug, a photo book filled with memories, or a personalized piece of jewelry.
3. Handwritten Letter: Write a heartfelt letter expressing your love and gratitude for your dad. Share cherished memories, acknowledge his sacrifices, and thank him for his unwavering support.
4. Cook His Favorite Meal: Treat your dad to a home-cooked meal featuring his favorite dishes. Whether it's breakfast in bed or a gourmet dinner, the effort you put into preparing his favorite foods will be appreciated.
5. Outdoor Adventure: Plan an outdoor adventure or activity that your dad will enjoy. Whether it's fishing, camping, or a day at the beach, spending time outdoors together can create lasting memories.
6. DIY Project: Get creative and tackle a DIY project together. Whether it's building a piece of furniture, working on a car, or gardening, working on a project together can be both enjoyable and rewarding.
7. Sports Event: If your dad is a sports fan, treat him to tickets to a game or sporting event. Whether it's baseball, basketball, or football, cheering on his favorite team together can be a fun way to bond.
8. Movie Marathon: Plan a movie marathon featuring your dad's favorite films or genres. Pop some popcorn, grab some snacks, and enjoy a relaxing day of movie-watching together.
9. Gift of Relaxation: Treat your dad to a day of relaxation and pampering. Whether it's a massage, a spa day, or simply some quiet time to unwind, help him relax and recharge.
10. Virtual Celebration: If you're unable to be with your dad in person, plan a virtual celebration. Schedule a video call, play games together online, and share stories and laughter from afar.

Father's Day is a special from Rakhi.com opportunity to honor and celebrate the fathers and father figures in our lives. Whether you spend the day together in person or connect from a distance, the most important thing is to show your love and appreciation for all that your dad does. With thoughtful gestures and heartfelt sentiments, you can make Father's Day a meaningful and memorable occasion for your dad.

I just am at such a loss with this.
When I was 18 I was groomed by my favourite teacher during a time in life when I was very vulnerable, which he knew and exploited.
It started as little flirty comments, personal emails on our school accounts, practical jokes etc and in the end he got a hold of my contact details and we started texting. This happened just before I left school and continued for about a year.
He told me he and his wife had an agreement that he was allowed to talk to and pursue certain sexual things with other women because there were things he was into that she wasn't, as long as she didn't have to hear about it.
He also had me convinced that because of this situation with his wife, our relationship was fine because it was just friends helping friends with what they needed. He said there was nothing wrong with it, but that we just had to keep it to ourselves because other people wouldn't understand.
The context around the situation is all very weird but basically he had a son my age who I was friendly with and that was one of the things he used as a cover - he would plant seeds in his son's head to invite me to do things with their family etc.
I ended up invited to their church and this teacher also took on a "spiritual mentor" role in my life.
He and I were very close and it did cross a line into sexual communication. So there was this very odd dynamic where we would acknowledge this sexual thing between us but then he would go to church, feel bad about it and then tell me we could only keep communicating if it was about God. That would last a few weeks then it would descend into how it was before.
There were a couple of times things nearly became sexual physically, but only once did it actually happen and by that point I had started distancing myself because I had begun to realize our relationship was weird. The physical sexual act was that as I went to hug him goodbye he grabbed me, pinned me against him and moved my hand to touch him through his trousers. He told me to put my hand in his trousers but I was frozen because I was scared. He eventually let me go and I left.
I told him via text afterwards that it was okay because he messaged me seemingly very remorseful and upset, in hindsight I think he was just worried I would tell someone now a physical line had been crossed.
People suspected we were involved and it was reported to the church and the school more than once. He begged me to lie for him and at the time I wanted to protect him so I did.
I became so close with his family that I spent new years with his wife and son, he wasn't even there. His wife used to say I was like a daughter to her. He also said it a few times which is obviously messed up considering the way things were sometimes.
He was very manipulative and used to gaslight me horribly. One minute he was telling me he wanted to run away to France with me so we could be together and asking me to send him pictures, the next he was telling me I was delusional about his feelings for me and there was nothing between us.
I was very lonely and our relationship became essentially my whole world. He knew this and if I said or did things he didn't like he would threaten to cut me off. He used this to try and get personal information about his son because we were friends.
After nearly a year I became a bit healthier mentally and emotionally and realised things were off, I started distancing and he could tell. At some point I decided I didn't want him texting me anymore so we would email, I would keep my responses friendly but brief.
He started telling me he was depressed, suicidal even, trying to get my attention and keep me on the hook I guess, he knew that was my soft spot. Eventually it was too much and I told him to leave me alone for good. In response he told his son about what had been going on - I think he thought if I didn't want to be his friend, I didn't get to be friends with his son either. His son was staggeringly nice about it and said he forgave me.
He would still try to contact me and I would ignore him, so he ended up getting his son to contact me saying essentially that his dad was very depressed and wanted "permission" to email me to apologise to me for everything. I said I wasn't happy about it but wanted him off my friend's back so said fine.
When he emailed me there was no apology, just rambling like nothing was different, asking me to come over one day to talk about his depression (still under the guise of going to see his son). I told him to talk to a therapist or his wife and to leave me alone.
After that I had a couple of social media requests from him over a year or so and eventually he left me alone. A few years later I began therapy and they helped me realize he had actually groomed and assaulted me, so I went to the police and filed charges.
They told me that his grooming behaviour, though obviously gross, was actually not illegal because I was 18 when it happened and communications didn't technically become sexual until after I left school (by mere days. DAYS). They said that the only thing they could technically prosecute for was that sexual assault in his office because I hadn't provided consent for what he did. The officer literally said "I have a daughter and if I could get this guy for being a creep I would because it's disgusting, but the assault itself is the only bit that's an actual crime".
It was handed over to the police force in another county because of where the assault occurred. I made it clear that though I didn't have concrete evidence of the assault, the correspondences between us would support it. They knew everything had been deleted because he used to periodically make me delete everything, I was assured they could easily recover deleted messages.
He was interviewed and played it off that I was a schoolgirl with a crush/obsession and that I now had a grudge against him. He also managed to produce a letter I wrote him when I was leaving school as proof of my crush. Which it absolutely was, but again, he groomed me. I never denied having had a crush on him. It's how grooming works. The police decided that was sufficient and dropped my case.
So now, 10 years on I've spent thousands on different therapies, and I am still so angry. I can't get over it and it's really really bothering me, every day. I hate him so much for doing this to me. I have reoccurring nightmares that I have to go back to school and be taught by him again after everything, in the dreams I just run around the school avoiding him and trying to escape.
He's retired as of last year and that's been some small relief, but he does private tutoring now and I just hate that he got away with this.

(please read the question in the end)
I read the news about the students. It says staff said they won't be able to write exams, which means they'll flunk, which means no placements and no job - which are just facts.
When I went to school, staff were allowed to be physical. I remember the whole class standing on chairs waiting for our turn for a shot with a wooden scale. And we turned out alright in terms of education. It was banned a few years later though (and gave rise to teachers finding it very hard to control students practically).
So when I read the news initially, I wasn't sure if students need to be stronger or if it's the staff's fault.
But I read the comments where they said the staff actually told the students it isn't worth living and instigated the incident - it isn't covered in the news, which only strengthen's PES' position in the older generation's mind.
My question - as students, can you share incidents where you think staff grossly overstepped? How do you think they make students that bad? I think a lot of us are missing important context and details that news outlets are leaving out. I want to understand it better.

disclaimer that i am NOT certified. i am simply an NA and have a lot less responsibilities. my hospital trained me for a week and put me on my medsurg/telemetry floor. i basically just run errands for my nurses/patients, do patient care, and act (minimally) as a housekeeper. another disclaimer that this is kind of a long rant.
i’ve been here since March 13, 2023. i love my job, kind of, but god, this job is so, so draining. i miss working simpler jobs where i didn’t take work home with me. i’ve had shifts that left me in a bad mood for days after. i have a lot taking a toll on me OUTSIDE of work. work used to be my escape.
there’s so much workplace drama as well, it’s like primary school all over again. and it’s always the older nurses. don’t get me wrong, there’s several coworkers that i love with all of my heart. we go out for lunch and dinner together, go on hikes, etc.
there’s a select few of my nurses who i have NEVER seen do patient care in my year of working. it’s all task delegation, even when i’m the only aide on my floor of 36 patients. they have a major superiority complex and do everything they can to avoid helping me. some will see that i’m clearly in the middle of something and obviously overwhelmed and ask me to get a set of vitals so they can give their pain meds. i already have to get 18 sets of vitals every 4 hours, which takes me 1-1.5 hours as it is. by the time i’m inished, i’m starting again.
i’ve been physically, verbally, mentally, emotionally abused by patients. i’ve been shamed for my tattoos, my scrubs, my weight, my height. i’ve been physically and verbally sexually harassed way too often.
i’m looked down on by my managers, nurses, NPs, PAs, residents, doctors, etc. but what hurts the most is my patients seeing me as less-than. i know i’m just an assistant, but i don’t want to be seen as “just” an assistant. of course, sometimes i get lovely patients, some of which are frequent fliers who love seeing me again.
most of my patients are geriatric and/or incontinent. most of my days consist of constant bed changes. so many are demented and/or fall risks who won’t stop getting out of bed, and my nurses get annoyed when i ask them for help getting them back in bed.
i have sciatica and it’s dreadful. some days i can barely make it and my legs will hurt for days after my shift. everyone looks down on me for needing to sit down for a while but they don’t understand the pain i’m in (unmedicated and untreated). i was put on a steroid packet for a month and it saved me, but that was only temporary. i can’t get an MRI until i complete 6 weeks of PT 3 days a week so my insurance will cover it, but i don’t have time between work and school, both full time. i told my PCP this so she referred me to a chiropractor. thanks but no thanks.
i’m VERY anemic and i’m on supplements, but they make me so constipated. i have to take them every other day and take laxatives almost daily, which i know is bad for you.
i have bipolar II, anxiety, and possibly ADHD. i can be on the brink of being suicidal and still have to plaster a smile on my face for my patients. they ask me how i am but i tell myself not to complain because i know they’re in a worse position than me and it’s like rubbing it in their faces. i’ll just say “Tired! How about you, honey?”
i’ve had chronic tachycardia since birth. it’s not uncommon for my HR to be in the 140s-150s, but i’ve seen it in the 170s. i’m also addicted to caffeine which is a great combination. i used to drink 3 monsters a day but my partner made me cut back for my health. my coworkers would hide them from me haha. it doesn’t even energize me anymore; it just makes me feel normal.
my back is already killing me. i’m only 20 years old. i know that nursing kills your back as well, but after gaining 2 years of experience and completing my BSN, i will be able to specialize in WOC where i won’t hurt my back as much. my MIL is a WOC nurse who invites me to do rounds with her and shadow her while she charts and does consults, and i’ve decided that’s my dream job. it’s something i’m genuinely looking forward to. my boyfriend asked, “if you could have any job, and pay was the same across the board, what would it be?” i told him i’d still be a WOC nurse.
i’m in pre-nursing right now, but once i’m officially in the nursing program, my hospital will pay for most of my schooling. however, i will have to sign a contract with them (i can’t remember if it’s 3 or 5 years. i think they changed it recently.). i figured it would be fine, since i’ll be specializing at this hospital. but this position is killing my physical and mental health. i don’t know. i can’t bring myself to leave so i’m just venting. thanks for reading if you got this far.

For context, my (16F) best friend, let's call her Diane (16F), has been my best friend for 2 years. We became extremely close after an incident last year because she had no friends due to lots of negative rumours being spread about her being a fake friend and a rumour spreader. I was her only friend and I invited her to the friend group so she wouldn't be alone, and she blended right into the group and she's been with us ever since.
She was especially close to me, and we promised eachother that we would be exclusive to eachother as best friends. Not in a romantic way, but we were eachothers everything. She came from a broken household, I was the only one who cared about her, and I didn't have many people I could trust other than my friend group due to past trauma I don't really wanna talk about because its just a whole other story, and she made me feel at home when I was with her.
Timeskip to now, she got her reputation back, and she's quite popular and she cares about her popularity and reputation quite a lot. Our friendship is different from before, but we're still exclusive best friends. She tells me that she hates everyone except for me, which makes me happy because it validates that I'm her best friend, but sometimes she acts a bit off.
Here are some instances that's made me doubt our friendship.

1. We had a girl in the friend group, let's call her Samantha, and she hated me to the core. The whole friendgroup had a sleepover, Samantha included, and Samantha and Diane were only talking to eachother. It felt awkward for me because everytime I tried to talk to them, Diane and Samantha would look at eachother and Diane would put on a strained smile that she only used with certain people. I knew that she acted fake with a lot of other people, she told me a lot, and she doesn't hide that, but she always said hi to me with a weird voice and went back to talking with Samantha normally. I talked to Diane after the sleepover and she said that she was only talking with Samantha because Samantha kept forcing her to talk with her, and honestly I can believe that because Diane is the only person Samantha likes in the friendgroup so I believe her, but I'm still putting this down here just in case I brushed it off too quickly.
   
2. Diane frequently switches between hating and loving the people in our friendgroup. She could go hours ranting about how much she hates the people in our friendgroup, and then after a few days, she goes back to praising everything they do. It confuses me a lot. I try to bring it up with her sometimes, but she always pretends she never said what she said about our friends. I never know what her actual opinions on people are, so sometimes I worry I'm gonna be one of them, but she always reassures me that I'm the one person she has never hated, so I'm just putting this one here because I also think I'm worrying over nothing on this one and I'm blowing it out of proportion.
   
3. This one was the one that made me write this but recently Diane invited a new girl into the friend group, let's call her Jess, and Diane has been trying to make us become a trio with Jess. Us and Jess had a lot of issues with Jess in the past, but I genuinely think she's changed because she's actually so sweet, but the problem is that Diane has been ignoring me for some reason. Jess is the one to try to talk to me and even then, Diane would enter the conversation and begin talking to Jess, and I feel like Diane is sick of me. I heard from Jess that Diane and her were making plans and Jess thought Diane told me because Diane told her I probably wouldn't want to go, but I understand because my parents usually don't let me go to last minute plans but it still would be nice to get a heads up or an invite even if I couldn't come.
   

I really don't know what to do. I'm the type of person to get way too attached to someone too quickly, and my love for people is intense. I have lots of attachment issues and I'm often needy and obsessive and clingy to people I love. I've molded my whole personality to become compatible with Diane's, and I've changed my appearance to be what Diane would like.
Before I was close with Diane, I had short hair, and I didn't care about what I looked like as long as I was happy, but since Diane cares a lot about her reputation, she cares about mine too. She told me to grow my hair out last year and I did, and it does look pretty, but I do miss my old hair sometimes even if it wasn't as pretty.
She's been telling me to get my nails done and wear some makeup, so I did and I think I look pretty, my only problem with myself is my weight. I know I'm not fat, but I weigh a bit more than Diane, and I've gained an eating disorder, and Diane started paying attention to me and worrying about me. She's been mostly indifferent to me other days, so even if I knew the eating disorder was unhealthy I've been keeping it going just so I can feel her worry about me again. I don't even care about losing weight anymore I just want some semblance that Diane still cares about me and loves me.
I love Diane so much, I don't want her to go. We have talked about our future a lot and what we plan to do after high school, i've been imagining my future with this girl, but I know that she doesn't care as much as me. I've been repeatedly trying and begging her to put some effort into this friendship but she always says that I'm always her top priority and I don't need to worry. I feel so dumb for thinking that she wants to replace me or that she's sick of me, should I keep trying to make this work?

Don't wanna make an insanely long post but basically I got diagnosed and titrated with a private assessor (referred to by the NHS) and went onto getting meds from the GP. Shortage comes and I can't get meds and about a month in I get told that they either don't have my shared care agreement or that its void somehow (got told both at some point) and that I would have to get re-diagnosed within the NHS; which would obviously take months.
So months later I get sent to an initial assessor who basically just confirms that, yeah this person would benefit from ADHD medication, and sends me on to another assessment with the team that handles prescribing the meds.
The assessment felt fine and normal at the time, but a week or so later I receive the letter of the assessment write up and the doctor writes that he can't justify recommending ADHD meds because "further exploration of possible autism would be more in [my]'s long term benefit." So I re-read the assessment notes and there's so many statements that are just incorrect or misinterpreted, stating things about my past experiences that are just vehemently untrue and I would never have implied otherwise.
Thinking back to the assessment, I remember very few questions related directly to ADHD but a lot of questions related to symptoms of both ADHD and ASD; the assessment even says that the fidgeting I did in the assessment "appeared more in keeping with stimming... than hyperactivity" which honestly made me laugh cause how can you imply that I didn't fidget correctly.
Initially, I didn't want to believe there was any malicious intent and that it must have just been me explaining myself poorly in some situations but the more I think about it the more I feel like there's no way anyone could have gotten the things wrong that they got wrong. Saying stuff like I enjoyed my old job and the "routine" it brought which is something I have never and would never say because I fucking hated my old job.
I've emailed them and rang them looking for a second opinion and then contacted the complaints department when they didn't respond and I'm still waiting to hear back from them.
Was wondering if anyone else has been through something similar to this, where you're basically denied a diagnosis based on stuff that is inaccurate? I don't wanna get too tinfoil-hat-y but if this isn't an uncommon occurrence then I'd definitely suspect some kind of bullshit happening.

I can’t write.
I can’t write at all. I would type words that pop up into my mind, then I’ll feel icky about it. Then it’d be gone in a flash with the power of my delete button. I used to think I’m a good writer, but it’s more like a phase where you feel so good about what you write. But growing out of it, you’ll look back and think, “What the f*ck is the thought process behind this fiasco?” That’s exactly how I feel about what I have written in the past.
I digress. I decided to start writing on this page here, 15th of May 2024 at 5-something PM in a cafe near school (class had just finished) because I feel like sh*t. Long story short, I have a man. My not-so-my-man man. It’s because we’re not really in any relationship to begin with, like, on paper, there are no statuses for us to settle with. It’s also important to mention how he was actually my crush whom I’ve liked since the start of sophomore year (he’s my senior). I don’t know if it’s because of how I’ve known him for roughly 17 years of my life or that he’s just so very smart. Maybe both. 2023 was rough for me because I fell in love with him but he didn’t even look at me. He’s kind, introverted, that polite and good-to-your-ma-and-everybody’s-ma kind of guy, and he’s just totally my type. Or my type is him. But everyone knew about it, my friends knew about it, his friends knew about it, he was the only clueless person during the episode.
2024 happened and we got close. April blessed me with the fact that he likes me back. “What if, I tell you, hypothetically, that I like you too. What would your response be?”
Best believe my heart rate spiked to 140 BPM.
Then we happened. Just like that. He said things me and my friends never really expected to hear him say. Like, are you serious, did Bonnie really say “God, I love you so much.” (Code name Bonnie, by the way. We call him that. Maybe one day I’ll tell you why) or am I on fentanyl right now? He’s sweet. He took me on dates. He was there when I lost the debating competition I truly believed I could win. He told me it’s okay. It’ll be okay. At the end, it’ll all be okay. And truly when he’s around, I am okay.
I don’t know when or why it started but we kind of fell off due to the fact that he stopped saying ‘I love you’ and bawling my eyes out because he left me hanging after making me wait became a weekly thing. He’s busy, I know of it, but it gets a little too painful for me to just continue my daily dilly-dallying after he left me without any ‘bye-bye’s or a kiss on the cheek. It occurred to me that, maybe, JUST maybe, I’ve liked him for so long and he doesn’t like me that much. I mean, whenever he’s around, Bonnie would rather talk to my male friends instead of me. He never really seeks after me. Never have I ever heard “Where’s Kiyo?” coming out of his mouth. True, most of the time we would be on the school ground, but, come on and talk to me. I am here.
Maybe it’s just the fact that he’s leaving for college soon (I am COUNTING my days because he, in fact, is leaving in DAYS) that makes me sad. Questions like “Do you not want to spend time with me before you go?” or “Do you even want to see me?” or “Will you miss me or will you miss me not?” would pop up in my head like, every 3 seconds (Can someone answer these questions for me by the way) and it’s— bothersome. I want to believe that he truly loves me. Again, I can’t help but doubt.
I really need to make up my mind and answer my own questions on what I’m actually worried about. I’ll continue in a bit. Girl’s gotta catch up the walking duration to an extra class at 7 PM (it’s 6:23).
Yours truly, Kiyo

About two weeks ago I thought about writing a story under 1,000 words. Would you believe ... 2,093 words? Enjoy!
At 9 PM, my roommate Martine pulled her knees closer to her chest and corrected her balance on the bay window bench seat. She never once looked at me as I finished neatening up the living room behind her. I didn’t expect her to notice me. She was waiting for her new love interest, Baylun. Nothing short of setting her clothes on fire would break her concentration before he arrived.
That’s why I didn’t bother to ask her if I looked okay. Yes, I wanted to make a good impression on Baylun because being presentable is being polite. Also, I didn’t want to give Martine any reason to leave me without her monthly half of the rent. If she left despite me being as perfect as I can be, well, nothing I can do about that. And given how intensely she was staring out the window, I wouldn’t be surprised if she expected Baylun to propose tonight. On their third date.
As if she’d read my mind, she spoke without turning her head. “Would you add him to the lease? I mean, if you like Baylun?”
“My Aunt Gloria might okay it. There’s enough room here. We can ask.” Why did I feel the need to appease her and pretend I wouldn’t be uncomfortable as the third wheel in my aunt’s rental house? My best guess is because appeasing and pretending are the cornerstones of my life, I’m very good at them.
Luckily, Martine was already not listening. “He’s here,” she whispered, sliding off the bench seat. After picking up her silk shawl, she partially opened our front door. Footsteps coming up our front steps stopped at what I presumed was the top step.
Beaming, she opened the door and invited him in. The man who entered had to duck to get in and I had to stop myself for apologizing to him. He was well dressed, looked like the proverbial “million dollars” and as he bent to give Martine a kiss on the cheek, I saw his eyes.
I froze for a moment, staring at the wrinkles around his eyes. Inhaling sharply, I blinked and shifted my gaze to Martine. She’d described Baylun as mature for his age. She’d failed to tell me he was at least middle age. That may sound ageist and I’m sorry for that but Martine and I are both 22 years old and Baylun looked twice that. He might be kind and, as Martine mentioned more than once, rich, but he might also be constantly on the lookout for a younger model than the one currently on his arm. Far be it from me to pass judgment without proof, but I would need more than Martine’s affirmation to feel comfortable with him as a roommate.
Introductions were short if not sweet. Baylun extended his hand and shook mine, which gave me some relief. If he’d kissed my hand I would undoubtedly have done nothing except internally cringe.
“Are you ready?” he asked, looking first at Martine who nodded enthusiastically. Then he looked at me and raised his eyebrows as if waiting for a reply. My jaw dropped, in real time.
Martine stared at me for half a second before jumping in to save me. “Lise was just getting her sweater, right, Lise?”
Thanks for covering for me, Martine. My plans for the night included pjs as soon as you guys left, but how could I say no? Except for flat out saying “No” which would be unthinkable.
“Right, I forgot it, and where are we going?” I squished in behind Martine, reached into the closet and took the top sweater from the neatly folded pile in the sweater drawer.
Baylun made a noise that was probably meant to sound like laughter. “Heddon’s Hill. To see the stars. Cloudless night tonight!”
Martine clapped her hands a couple of times, giving me a jolt of second-hand embarrassment. “Baylun asked me to keep it a secret. He brought a bottle of really good wine. It’s in his car, right, babe?”
Baylun didn’t say anything as he put his hand on her cheek like she was a child. She stared at him, as if in a trance. He didn’t purr audibly but that’s the best way I can describe his facial expression. Then I looked him in the eyes and the silence that followed hurt my ears.
A wave of panic immobilized me. I looked away and struggled to put on the sweater.
When he spoke, he whispered but it felt like thunder to my ears. “Perhaps a heavier outer layer?”
Martine snapped back into reality. “You look cold. Grab a hoodie, we’ll meet you in the car.”
That was the out I needed. “You know what, I feel awful. Go ahead, enjoy. I’ll take cold meds and try to be awake when you get back, to hear all about it.” To convey sadness at missing out on being a third wheel and resigned acceptance of impending illness, I grimaced and shrugged.
Martine considered me for a moment before agreeing. She leaned gently against Baylun’s arm and squeezed his hand. “Could we be back in an hour, babe?”
He turned his full attention on her and nodded. “Yes. We will. Goodbye, Lise.”
I thought about saying goodbye and decided a coughing fit would be more suitable. As I covered my mouth with my left elbow, I waved weakly with my right hand. The two lovebirds got into the car and when I heard it backing down the driveway, I poured a couple of teaspoons of night time anti-cold liquid down the sink. To make sure I smelled like I’d taken it, I licked the spoon before washing it.
When they returned, Martine walked in at a slower pace than usual and Baylun put his arm under hers as soon as they were both inside, so she could lean on him. She didn’t seem upset. She also didn’t make eye contact with me. My first thought was she had a bit too much wine, but we’ve had drinks together. She’s always been a little louder, a little more animated after a bit of alcohol. I started wondering if she’d consumed something other than wine while stargazing. Not judging, just trying to find an explanation that didn’t scare me about her health.
Instead of speaking to me, Baylun nodded and continued supporting Martine, helping her through the house. I reasoned he was taking her to the bathroom or her bedroom, so I squeezed in beside him and ran to open her bedroom door. Baylun led her to the far side of her bed so he was facing me, and helped her to lie down.
Except he didn’t lay her down right away. He held her halfway between standing and lying down, stared into my eyes and put his mouth on her neck.
I know how this sounds. My brain undoubtedly recognized the set-up. Yet I was unprepared for what happened.
Baylun retracted his lips, revealing two bloody fangs and touched Martine’s neck as if searching for something. Just before his fingers found them, I saw two wounds on her neck. He positioned his fingers so his fangs went into the wounds. Martine shuddered for a second, then sighed and stopped moving.
I inhaled sharply. Nothing made sense and I couldn’t remember how to move. When I realized my hand was still on the door handle, I leaned on it slightly, turned and ran to the front door.
Baylun met me there. I didn’t hear him walking or running. He wasn’t at the door and then he was, positioned to prevent me from opening it. He wasn’t frowning. He didn’t lean towards me or touch me, for which I was grateful.
But his eyes. They sparkled, they were bright and lively, and they were wrinkle-free. He looked my age, not middle aged. He looked like the guy I’d met an hour earlier, only younger.
I took a step backwards.
He took a step forward and spoke, his voice quiet and calm.
“If you say anything to her about what you saw, I will deny it and she will believe me. Then I will show you what it’s like to burn in hell.”
This was the second time in one night life handed me a “get out of trouble” card and I grabbed it with both hands. Frowning with the hopes of presenting as confused, I asked, “Okay, I thought it was very kind of you to bring her home, but I think I get it. What’s our story if she asks?”
He crossed his arms and studied me for a long moment. “I’m glad you understand. You can take credit for getting her into bed.”
I nodded and brought my left hand to my mouth, trying to look thoughtful. “And you asked her to text when she gets up tomorrow? Or is that too much?”
He chuckled and uncrossed his arms. “That’s just what I was thinking.” He stared at my mouth.
A rush of fear froze me in place. “Everything okay?”
“It will be.” He pointed at the right side of my mouth.
A sharp pain on the side of my face woke me up. It was still dark. I was in my bed. I tried sitting up and learned my pillowcase was stuck to the corner of my mouth.
Instant panic. I picked up the pillow and ran to the bathroom where a quick glance in the mirror above the sink revealed the substance wasn’t glue, it was blood. As awful as that was, my initial reaction was “Better than glue.” A little warm water on a face cloth eased the pillowcase off my skin and I set the case and face cloth on the counter.
For a brief moment I felt absolute relief. I held onto the sides of the sink and took a deep breath.
A drop of blood landed on the right side of the sink.
Blood could be from biting my lip, or inside of my cheek or even my tongue in my sleep. Or a nosebleed.
Another drop of blood landed on the sink.
It was so weird. Nothing hurt. Not my nose, not my lip, not my tongue. I struggled to figure out what I did, why I would be bleeding. Did I do something foolish before I went to bed?
I couldn’t remember going to bed.
Time to look in the mirror. There wasn’t any obvious damage, so I used my fingers to move my lips away from the right side of my mouth.
My canine tooth was missing. Another, sharper tooth was working its way out of the gums. That’s where the blood was coming from.
I leaned in and looked more closely at it. The emerging canine was definitely tearing through the gum, making it bleed.
A scream worked its way up my throat. I stood up, ramrod straight, shut my mouth and gently placed the face cloth on it.
I tiptoed down the hall to Martine’s bedroom door. It was shut. She was breathing in a regular pattern, not quite snoring.
I came back to my bedroom and checked my phone. 4:45 AM. When did I come to bed? Baylun was here, I remembered him with Martine and then at the door. Seems like he’s gone, unless he’s sitting in the dark in the living room or kitchen.
Any other day, Martine would be waking up in two hours. If she does, I don’t doubt she’ll be excited to hear Baylun wants her to text him.
I want to throw up. A few hours ago, life felt so normal. Now a giant canine tooth is pushing its way into my mouth. Maybe the other one is, too. I don’t care to find out. I also don’t want to go to the hospital where I’ll run out of answers before the staff run out of questions.
Maybe I can take a couple of days off work, see if the new dental situation affects my sleep schedule. Maybe I can find a night job.
Or maybe I’m a vampire, condemned to a life of hunting humans and being hunted by humans. I’m going to wait until Martine gets up before posting this. She might have a lot more information on this.
My mind is clearer now. My memories are back. It’s time for me to disappear from Martine’s and my Aunt Gloria’s lives. I can do it. I must do it. For their safety, and for mine. Everything is not okay. Not yet.

Week two of trying to move on...
I am writing this hoping to get it out of my chest and maybe feel a little less lonely.
I (27F) just had a really really heartbreaking and depressing breakup and this is the first time I've ever been this hurt. This is the worst feeling I've ever felt in my entire life, emotionally, mentally. Sobbing at the moment as of typing this and my tears just doesn't seem to stop. It just keeps on flowing and flowing since i woke up this morning it suprised me how much tears I have. My chest feels SO heavy I cannot breathe properly anymore and my head aches. I cannot pull myself to get up my bed, I absented to work and even to my postgrad school. I don't eat. I don't even feel hunger anymore. For someone who eats a lot, it surprised me that it is possible to not feel hunger and I don't desire food. All I feel is this heartache. This tightening and heaviness of my chest. This is unbearable. I loved this person so much too much. Even more than myself, I believe. I would do anything for him. I endured a lot for him. Because I love him so much. I would forgive him so fast because I love him so much. I am at my happiest state whenever I am with him. He is the first man I've ever loved. And when I love, I give my all, it's 110%! I keep on looking back and thinking that maybe if I loved him so much more, maybe if I did this, maybe if i did not say these things, maybe we will still be happy together. Maybe if i did not raise the issues, it would not lead to this. I am feeling alot of regret. Maybe I should have just kept my mouth shut. But I was hurting too much I had to say those things. I am extremely sad, heartbroken, and down. I need help. I need someone to talk to. I need someone to cry with. I dont know. It hurts so bad. And I feel so alone. I am a big introvert and I only have a very very few friends and they are far far away from me. I don't think I'll ever be okay. I am in constant pain. Some might say keep yourself busy, get a hobby, but I cannot even focus on my work and school anymore how much more than that. I am messing up a lot of my work and I have my exam in 2 weeks and I haven't studied sht. :(
I love reddit and this has helped me so much in a lot of things. So, if I may, I would like to humbly ask the community of reddit, those who have been through the same experience, or just anyone who has anything to say, if you would be so kind as to lend me a tiny bit of your time and maybe drop in the comments something, anything really, that maybe would help make me feel better and a little less lonely. Thank you very much.
Reason: I raised the issues (that I feel) regarding our relationship. The talk did not go well. He let go of me.
How long:
Years of admiring him: 2yrs
Together: 2yrs

Hi ! I've put around 9 hours in Fez for now and I'm loving it. I love trying to understand what the game want from me but I feel a bit stuck right now. I'd be very happy if someone could give me some advice, nothing too revealing please, I still want to understand the game by myself. This is where I am :

• I've reach the first ending and obtained the first person mode and also the flying cheat.
• I have 32 cubes and 13 anticubes.
• I have the red artifact (reading ?) the green artifact (calculus ?) and the book artifact.
• I have all the treasure maps.
• I understood the language with the tetrominos where you have to input buttons to unlock stuff.
• I lowered the water level.
• I think I explored almost the entirety of the map, except for some areas behind codes I don't understand and the 64 cubes locked door.

I have no idea what to do with :

• The U shape pillars, I think they emit a sound, or a vibration, but I don't know what to do with it.
• The pillars with a hole on top and a little cube inside. I have 0 idea about those.
• The Telescope. It shows something at night but what can I do with this information ?
• The Bell.
• The big black spinning thing
• The room with all the doors and the treasure maps. I think I need to understand how to read numbers.

What I'd like to understand the most is how to read and how to do calculations. I tried to understand so hard by myself but I don't have any idea how to translate those weird squares into letters. I also know I need to understand how to calculate using the board in the school of the broken city but I don't get it.
Maybe just tell me where I can find the most useful info on how to understand those two concepts ?
Is there some bruteforce I need to do somewhere in order to better understand something ?
Thanks a lot for your help !

I’m writing this now because of an encounter I had a few hours ago that left me feeling shaken, paranoid, and frustrated with this whole pattern thats been going on for a year. So sorry if it is confusing, I have not been able to sleep for the rest of the night because of this. For some background information, I am extremely aware of my body due to chronic illness and have always had unexplainable encounters since I was young, but I have never been afraid of them quite like I am now.
About a year ago, I started to have immense struggles sleeping and paranoia because of an extremely strong presence I felt in my room. I cannot describe it as anything other than a presence that brings me lots of anxiety and a feeling of being watched. It is stationary in the top corner of my room where I spend most of my day working on artwork and school and maintaining my fish tanks, however, it is most active at night, and that is where my biggest problem with it stems. It does not look away from me, change positions, or interact with me in any way. However, I am currently refusing to acknowledge it because i have this sinking feeling that something bad will happen to me when I do. It does not feel evil per say, but it feels like it is amused by my refusal to acknowledge it and the amount of anxiety it brings me has made me physically ill before. I am not anxious person.
There is another presence that accompanies this one, but it feels like an entirely separate entity. I feel nothing from it. I have a dresser with a mirror that faces my bed, but the mirror cannot see me when I am sleeping because the bed is way too low, and this presence stands between my bed and my dresser. It feels like a physical barrier, solid, and if I could describe it as anything else when I wake up - it would be like I am looking at a torso because it towers over me. The reason I say this accompanies the other presence is because they are always with me at the same time, the only difference being that the one in my ceiling corner is a constant presence when its there, and the other one I discover at random intervals. I sense this one because I randomly wake up with the feeling that something is in front of me. Like when you wander around in the dark and instinctively know theres a wall in front of you.
Both of these entities have grace periods where they don’t bother me as much for a month or two. However, the one that watches me ebbs and flows in this grace period. Rather than as a strong, anxiety-inducing presence that frightens me, I will feel jolts of feeling like I’m being watched throughout any time during the day that I am in my room (from where it stays, so I know it is that specific presence).
This brings me to my most recent encounter with something entirely new. I instinctively woke up to a weird feeling in my stomach. It wasn’t the same feeling as sensing the wall, or being watched, but a weird feeling that told my body to wake up and look. It was so human and solid that for the first few seconds, I genuinely thought that one of my family members was in my room, even though I already knew the stature of this person was not like any of them. It was only slightly taller than my chair, maybe a foot shorter than me, and I was immediately hit with a similar feeling like to the one that watches me. If I move, if it knows I know its there, something bad will happen. This was more like.. accusatory? Like I really, really did not want it to see me.
It started off crouched in the same corner as the thing that watches me, but not a creepy crouch, like it was picking up something from under my desk. (I have a stuffed animal, art supplies, and gifts for my friends I’m making stored under there). It stood up and I couldn’t see anything in its hands, or really its hands at all, and it walked around my chair. It got a few inches past my chair before it suddenly stopped and disappeared entirely. This was the first time I have ever witnessed something so physical that I thought someone was genuinely in my room, or felt like I could physically be hurt by it. I was frozen. (Not paralysis, i was just super scared).
It never acknowledged me, but I had turned on my LEDs after it left and could not sleep for another ten minutes because I had a horrific feeling that it kept showing up again and I had to keep checking. I genuinely couldn’t process if there was an intruder in my house and they just hid. Thats how real they felt and looked. I turned my lights back off after I calmed myself down and forced myself to try and sleep, but ended up just watching videos on my phone.
An hour later, my LEDS flashed on and pulsed while I was talking to my friend about what just happened to me. I promptly turned them back off and refused to say anything else.
It is important to note that this was during a grace period where the two presences I normally have were not present and a week after I got a text from my mom about her hearing me right next to her calling for help. I heard it too, but I was in the bath, and I thought it was the TV (which apparently wasn’t on).
Please offer any advice or theories you guys have as to why this is happening to me. I just want to sleep. I also can’t reach my mirror to cover it because its kind of tall and it would knock over all my earrings.**

Writer's Block? Befriend the Blank Page: How to Turn Creative Stagnation into a Goldmine

Ah, writer's block. That looming specter that haunts every wordsmith, from the wide-eyed newbie to the grizzled veteran. But fear not, fellow wordslingers! For even in the face of this dreaded foe, opportunity lurks. Yes, you heard that right. Writer's block, that seemingly insurmountable obstacle, can be your secret weapon, a springboard to unleashing your most creative work yet. Let's delve into the minds of seasoned scribes and discover how they turn their blank pages into bestselling goldmines.
Embrace the Block:
First things first, ditch the self-flagellation. Writer's block is normal, even expected. It's a sign you're pushing boundaries, exploring uncharted territory. So, instead of panicking, befriend the block. See it as a pause, a chance to step back and reassess. As Jodi Picoult wisely says, "Writer's block is a wonderful time to catch up on your reading." Immerse yourself in other authors' work, let their voices spark your own. Remember, inspiration can strike from anywhere, so keep your eyes and ears open to the world around you.
Befriend the Unconventional:
Now, let's get down to the nitty-gritty. Forget the usual "go for a walk" or "stare at a tree" advice. We're talking about weapons-grade creativity here. Here are some battle-tested techniques from the pros:

• Automatic Writing: Channel your inner James Joyce with a stream-of-consciousness freewrite. Set a timer, ignore grammar, and let your subconscious take the wheel. You might be surprised by the hidden gems you unearth. Bonus: Do it in public for maximum awkwardness-induced inspiration.
  
• The One-Sentence Challenge: Craft a single sentence that encapsulates the essence of your story. Then, spend the next hour fleshing it out, exploring every possible avenue. This tightens your focus and forces you to think outside the box.
  
• The What-If Flip: Take a familiar trope and flip it on its head. Think Romeo and Juliet as zombies, or a superhero origin story where the hero is actually the villain. This forces you to break free from cliches and explore new possibilities.
  
• The Sensory Safari: Describe a scene using only one sense. For example, write a scene solely through the sounds your protagonist hears, or the textures they touch. This jumpstarts your imagination and forces you to paint a vivid picture with limited tools.
  
• The Random Object Prompt: Pick a random object (spork, stapler, rubber ducky, anything!) and write a story centered around it. This forces you to think creatively and find connections where you least expect them.
  

Embrace the Insane:
Now, let's unleash the real wild cards. Here are some downright insane prompts that might just spark your next bestseller:

• Write a love letter from a houseplant to its owner.
• Craft a news report from the perspective of a goldfish.
• Compose a grocery list that doubles as a murder mystery.
• Write a children's book about the existential dread of adulthood.
• Pen a sonnet from the point of view of a rogue punctuation mark.

Remember, the key is to embrace the absurd. Don't be afraid to be silly, outrageous, even downright nonsensical. Sometimes, the most unexpected ideas lead to the most brilliant work.
Final Words:
Writer's block is not a dead end, but a detour. By using these unconventional techniques and embracing the insane, you can turn it into a springboard for your most creative work yet. So, the next time you face the blank page, don't despair. Befriend the block, unleash your inner weirdo, and watch your imagination take flight. Remember, the greatest stories often begin with a touch of madness. Now, go forth and write something truly magnificent, even if it involves a spork-wielding goldfish detective. The world awaits your words!

Week two of trying to move on...
I am writing this hoping to get it out of my chest and maybe feel a little less lonely.
I (27F) just had a really really heartbreaking and depressing breakup and this is the first time I've ever been this hurt. This is the worst feeling I've ever felt in my entire life, emotionally, mentally. Sobbing at the moment as of typing this and my tears just doesn't seem to stop. It just keeps on flowing and flowing since i woke up this morning it suprised me how much tears I have. My chest feels SO heavy I cannot breathe properly anymore and my head aches. I cannot pull myself to get up my bed, I absented to work and even to my postgrad school. I don't eat. I don't even feel hunger anymore. For someone who eats a lot, it surprised me that it is possible to not feel hunger and I don't desire food. All I feel is this heartache. This tightening and heaviness of my chest. This is unbearable. I loved this person so much too much. Even more than myself, I believe. I would do anything for him. I endured a lot for him. Because I love him so much. I would forgive him so fast because I love him so much. I am at my happiest state whenever I am with him. He is the first man I've ever loved. And when I love, I give my all, it's 110%! I keep on looking back and thinking that maybe if I loved him so much more, maybe if I did this, maybe if i did not say these things, maybe we will still be happy together. Maybe if i did not raise the issues, it would not lead to this. I am feeling alot of regret. Maybe I should have just kept my mouth shut. But I was hurting too much I had to say those things. I am extremely sad, heartbroken, and down. I need help. I need someone to talk to. I need someone to cry with. I dont know. It hurts so bad. And I feel so alone. I am a big introvert and I only have a very very few friends and they are far far away from me. I don't think I'll ever be okay. I am in constant pain. Some might say keep yourself busy, get a hobby, but I cannot even focus on my work and school anymore how much more than that. I am messing up a lot of my work and I have my exam in 2 weeks and I haven't studied sht. :(
I love reddit and this has helped me so much in a lot of things. So, if I may, I would like to humbly ask the community of reddit, those who have been through the same experience, or just anyone who has anything to say, if you would be so kind as to lend me a tiny bit of your time and maybe drop in the comments something, anything really, that maybe would help make me feel better and a little less lonely. Thank you very much.
Reason: I raised the issues (that I feel) regarding our relationship. The talk did not go well. He let go of me.
How long:
Years of admiring him: 2yrs
Together: 2yrs

We would appreciate some feedback as to how to proceed here.
We are a family of 4 with 2 young children renting a flat in Maastricht since 2020. The flat is on the 2nd floor of a converted school building with six flats in total. We have never had any conflict with the landlord at all who owns the whole building.
In December 2023, we got a letter from the landlord that the roof had to be completely changed because of its age and that the repair works would be carried out in the summer of 2024. There were no details as to when exactly this would happen, for how long, what would happen with rent, etc. I also work from home, our children go to school near here.
We wrote an email at once asking about this and we got a very curt reply saying that the information would be available when it was available. Subsequent emails in February and March got the same answer. We were prepared to go on holiday for the period in July but we haven't been able to buy our tickets.
Then, just now we got an email saying the following: What?

• Various works will be carried out on behalf of the landlords at complex.

When?

• The works will take place (approx.) in June'24, July'24 (and/or possibly in Aug.'24). This partly depends on the (good) weather. We will notify you further shortly with more specific information.

Consequences?

• During the works, it is likely that some tenants will not be able to use their properties. You will hear about this as soon as possible in advance.

Essentially, NOTHING has progressed since December. We still don't know when repairs will start, how long we have to leave for, whether we have to pay rent, nothing.
I checked our rental contract and it says that landlords needing to make repairs will notify tenants "in good time" with no specifics. But a month before certainly doesn't feel "in good time".
So I would like to ask for advice on what recourses are available to us? Can we refuse to move out? Can we demand the landlord finds us an alternative? Do I lawyer up?

Hi all,
1st of all, English is not my first language, so I humbly ask you to forgive my grammar and some mistakes.
A bit of context:
My brother C(52 M) and I(39 M) were never close:

• We are half-brothers. We don't have the same dad(our mother N(70 F) and his dad divorced when he was 4 years old, because he cheated several times) and for many years he always made a point to say that we were half-brothers. I never had this issue with our sister (he and she have the same dad).
• We have a big age gap: 13 years with him and 10 years with our sister;
• He has the idea that since he is the oldest we should exactly what he wants and give absolute respect.
• I'm not as lenient with him as my parents. It's a very long story, but my parents always gave in with demands and tantrums over the years (I think that our mom feels guilty for the divorce.), on the other side, I imposed limits and won't budge.

In short, we are cordial, but I wouldn't say that I love him as brother.
Unfortunately, this divide was passed on to his 3 children: D(29M), A(24F) & M(18M). Since they are little, our mom and I tried to have a good relation with them but I don't think it worked.
Although my oldest nephew D(29M) were close when he was little (we actually played together.). We are in good terms but we're not close.
I always felt closer and protective of the youngest M(18M) since I always noticed that he was more like me and my brother was harsher with him since his childhood (He wasn't planned and I heard my SIL and brother say it out loud several times, and not in a good way.). :(
This post is about my youngest nephew M(18 M):
When he had an issue with his parents, he would come up to me and my mom asking for help. (For example, his phone number was included on our carrier because my brother didn't want to pay a mobile phone tariff with internet included. He said it was expensive.).
2 years ago, my nephew, asked me if I could help him with his inscription on a gym, he needed a bank account number for his inscription and his parents didn't want to give theirs. So I helped (due to his health he needs it), but I told him that if money was taken of my bank account, because of him, he would have to pay me back and he agreed.
Last year the finished school and I helped him get a job where I worked, and since my workplace was very close to my house and we had the same schedule, he came to live with my mom and me. We talked and told him that we wanted 100€/month to help with the house expenses. Actually, my mom and I planned to give him back that money later, when he would buy a car. We just wanted him to gain responsibility, but he never gave us any money.
Since he was far from his gym, he went there to stop his membership. I warned him to careful and check if he had a binding period with the gym, he told me that he didn't. The following day, he told me that it was done, and that I could block the bank withdrawals, just in case. I must confess, that I'm not sure if I blocked them or not, but I'm almost sure I did it. Well a few months ago, I was checking my bank balance and noticed several withdrawals from the gym, the total sum up to about 250€.
I talked to him, and he told me that he would handle it and ask for a refund. For several weeks, I asked him if he had news and he always evaded the question or told me that he was busy. I immediately became suspicious of the situation, but I gave him some space to resolve the issue, since it could be a great learning experience and I also wanted to see how he would handle it.
After a few months of living with my mom and me, he got his driver's license, and the next day he went back to his parent's house. I wasn't surprised, in fact, I was expecting it, he already bought his car and his behavior showed that we wasn't happy here with us. A few weeks later, I found another job, and we don't see each other every day, as before.
After I insisted several times, he finally went to the gym, and ... The membership cancellation wasn't validated, and he doesn't remember if they gave him proof of cancellation. (I have a very good friend that works with that gym and he told me that as pear their procedure they should have given him a proof of cancellation.) I don't know if my nephew lost it or if the gym didn't give him one, the result is the same the money cannot be refunded.
Now I sent him 2 texts (that he read) that I wanted to talk to him about this issue, but he didn't answer me. I didn't confront him and his father with it and I don't think I will. I know that those kind of situations always end up becoming a drama with them where they are the victims and I will end up in square one: without the refund.
I feel quite disappointed with him. I realized that he's just like my brother, ungrateful and acts like they never do nothing wrong. If he were straight forward with me and asked me to pay me later or even in installments, I think I would have even forgive him the money.
But now, I'm going to be as close as NC as possible and I don't think I will help him ever again. One day, when he'll need my help, I will remember him about this matter and tell him that he burns that bridge a long time ago. I can be quite cold sometimes when want to.
So tell me, AITA?

I dont even know what im doing here I know no one would read this but I just am looking for the closest bridge I can walk to so I can jump off of it I mean that's not really anything I know people feel like this all the time people are going through it every day but I like screaming out into the void it helps like someone in someway is listening my dad was pretty sexist he didn't let us go to school he believed women should be house wives run the house and all that well he ended up dieing I loved that man but he did take everything away from his kids and left them with nothing but a house in the middle of nowhere my mom was devastated she was devoted to that man she was okay for awhile though then my sisters got horrible boyfriends who would want to take over the house that made my mom crazy my sister told her she should date and she did men started using her taking her money and she believed so much insanity she believed she was married to Jesus and also God and before that I was her care taker even before I got paid I took care of my mom I loved her very much and would sleep with her always be with her taking care of her she eventually started saying that I was poisoning her I tried to call doctors I fought with my sister so meany times trying to get help but she just wanted to do things her way my mom eventually called the cops on me and siad I was poisoning her and her food she wouldn't eat the food i made her for a very long time we had all decided thet it was enough she needed help but then over night my sister whent behind my back and talked to my mom told her our plan they had decided that everything would go back to normal and she would start taking her medicine again and it was my job to do it but I had been so upset that I got in a fight with my sister I siad that I can't give medicine to someone who is accusing me of poisoning them I siad that if I can't take care of her can't feed her or give her medicine then I don't deserve this job ill still take care of my mom clean after her try my best to give her what I can and I whent to my room her boyfriend came running to the basement to my room whare my family shunned me to and he banged on my door and I opened it he started yelling saying that he doesn't deserve to be woken up by his girlfriend crying when he has to go to work she was waking him up with breakfast so I really didn't understand I siad I dont care and I closed the door and he hit it so hard pushing me and putting the doorknob in the drywall I was scared the door hit my arm and he was coming in pushing me back I started yelling screaming get out leave this is the only place I have go away he kept pushing and at the time I didn't even have a bra he just kept pushing my chest back I was pushing back too trying to make him leave my sister finally ran downstairs and made him leave she kept saying how sorry she was and she didn't mean for that to happen I was so scared I just backed up and siad quietly please go she wouldn't so I screamed im scared and she finally left I just couldn't deal with the take over I couldn't stand my life thare anymore I had thought about walking out that back basement door with my Razor finding myself a nice spot in my dead fathers woods but I had decided that I wouldn't let my biggest fear of my family hating me win id leave with my boyfriend and try to start a life but he has a best friend like a brother he's always hanging out with us he says horrible things about women and excludes me and says things like no offense I just don't like women or even say such descust like because 30% of women kill or abuse thare baby's that those kids where better off in concentration camps I hate this world and the people who sweep all of this insanity under the rug like it's normal to act this way like its okay to be this way because the world is this way but I always wonder if I have all these problems with the people in my life then maybe it's me but all I can be is quite neutral and I guess we didn't just write this because I wanted you to talk to or someone to hear my story but I guess I wanted the ones who were so evil to feel some of this pain too I want them to be the monsters too it's not fair that I was the only thrown away

For the past few months I've been basically getting therapy from my math teacher after school every day. I sorta trust him alot and I feel like she really understands my trauma and issues with my family. I really do like her, and I really think she cares for me, but yesterday she sent me a *ton* of messages (30 in total?) About how much she loves me and finds me adorable and wants to leave her husband for me. It's weird, like, *really fucking weird*, I could tell from the grammar in it that she was obviously high while writing it (she confessed to taking drugs to me last year), and now she's acting like it was completely normal??? I really don't wanna go to school today because of what happened honestly. If anyone has advice, please give. I really don't want to get her or me in danger.

May 12, 2024.
https://time.com/6977026/democrats-biden-executive-authority-grocery-prices/
A group of Democratic lawmakers are calling on President Joe Biden to investigate grocery store chains for price manipulation, writing in a letter sent Monday morning that he should use executive authority to take additional enforcement action to address rising food prices without the help of Congress.
The letter, shared exclusively with TIME, comes after a report from the Federal Trade Commission (FTC) found that major grocery chains seemed to take advantage of supply chain disruptions during the pandemic to hike up prices to increase their profits. Sen. Elizabeth Warren, a Massachusetts Democrat who led the letter and is one of its signatories, has called for more competition and stronger enforcement of antitrust laws to bring down grocery prices for families—but her proposed legislation on the topic has been largely stalled in Congress.
She’s now hoping that Biden will leverage his executive authority to initiate a thorough investigation into the alleged price-fixing practices of major grocery store chains. “Big food companies want to keep these huge profits and they're hiring plenty of lobbyists to keep Congress from acting,” Warren tells TIME in an interview. “Congress has stalled out on doing work that it could do to help families lower costs… and the President has the tools to fight back.”
Sens. Richard Blumenthal (D-Conn.), Cory Booker (D-N.J.), Martin Heinrich (D-N. Mex.), Bernie Sanders (I-Vt.), and Peter Welch (I-Vt.) also signed on to the letter requesting Biden’s intervention, along with 35 House Democrats. The lawmakers outlined several proposals in their letter that the Biden Administration could take—from encouraging the FTC to issue guidance on potential violations of price discrimination laws, to creating a joint task force to investigate food price manipulation throughout the supply chain.
As Biden seeks re-election, he has been hard pressed to construct an accessible story about how his economic policies are affecting real Americans. Polling data shows that the public remains deeply displeased by the prices they pay for food, which have gone up 21% in the last three years. And the majority of voters continue to rank inflation at the top of their list of issues facing the country, with most voters concerned about inflation naming “the cost of food and groceries” as the main source of their angst.
Research shows that from January 2020 to January 2024, the grocery expenses for a family of four on a “thrifty food plan” increased by 50%, while major supermarket conglomerates saw revenue spikes of up to 36% during this timeframe. “Purchasing food isn't a choice, it's a necessity,” says Lindsay Owens, the executive director of the Groundwork Collaborative, a left-leaning think tank that released a report in February on the key drivers of grocery inflation. “There's no getting around a trip to the grocery store in modern America, so I think Congress and the Biden Administration are rightly focused on what they can do, what suite of tools they have at their disposal for bringing down food and grocery prices for Americans, particularly when food and grocery prices are being kept artificially high because of market manipulation, collusion, and price gouging.”
The letter underscores what many progressive Democrats and liberal economic minds see as an urgent need for regulatory intervention to level the playing field in the food and grocery sector, ensuring fair competition and affordable prices for consumers nationwide. Studies have found that corporate profits account for more than 50% of current inflation as many American families are being hit with higher costs for groceries. In the food industry alone, four retailers—Walmart, Kroger, Costco, and Albertsons—account for over a third of national grocery sales, potentially allowing dominant retailers to extract more favorable prices and terms from suppliers.
The letter highlights several exclusionary practices that may be employed by dominant grocery firms, including slotting fees for product placement, category captain arrangements that skew market dynamics, and rebates incentivizing purchasing from dominant firms—all of which the lawmakers say effectively shut out smaller suppliers and drive up costs for American families. They claim that such practices may violate existing antitrust laws and regulations, including the Sherman Act, the Clayton Act, and the Robinson-Patman Act—which together prohibit monopolistic behavior, certain anti-competitive practices, and price discrimination.
(Sorry for the big excerpt but the piece takes its time to get to the meat of the issue, as it were).