I was always a good looking guy.
Good eyes, jawline, abs, things of that nature.
However, I've also always been helplessly awkward around women for whatever reason.
After a lot of thinking and many times during family dinners my dad drunkly demanded me to bang a woman already, I decided to grudgingly install Tinder.
I already had some exprience with texting women online, so it was the same usual crap that made me not want to install tinder in the first place:
1)I text a girl.
2)she takes hours to reply because she wants to seem like she's so cool and busy and because she frankly doesn't give a fuck about me.
3)I do the same.
4)I say some silly jokes so she likes me like I'm some fucking clown.
5)I then ask to meet up.
6)she ghosts me.
7)on to the next girl.
This frustrating pattern went on with 3 girls until I finally texted a girl who i thought was nicer.
This girl, Casey, actually seemed to be interested. She said I'm funny, and handsome and that she'd love to meet up.
I was very intimacy deprived, so that was enough to completely turn off any sort of rationale I had.
Looking back, I should've been wiser.
She proposed to meet at a park that was suspiciously right next to my house.
She knew where I lived.
Again, I was too horny to notice this.
We meet up and start talking. As we talk, even my extremely thirsty ass notices... It's just *too* easy. She laughs at every dumb joke I make. She compliments me a lot. She's the one to initiate touch... Almost like... I'm where she wants me to me and she wants me to stay there... The more we talk, the more I notice her laugh seems... forced. Again, like she's just using it to lure me in. At one point, even my horny ass began feeling uncomfortable and it started getting late. I hugged her and said goodbye. I was then stopped. I felt a sharp, burning sudden pain in my arm. I sighed and turned around cautiously, knowing it'll be an unpleasant sight. Turns out, it wasn't an unpleasant sight. It was much worse than that. Her hand was now covered in blood as her nails dug deeper and deeper into my forearm. I gasped and tried to release myself, only for her grip to strengthen. My eyes then traveled from her hand to her face. Her face was contorted in horror; her lips were pursed tightly and her forehead was scrunched, her eyes were wide and her pupils were so dilated that they were almost completely black. Her bottom lip trembled and a stray tear rolled down her cheek.
"u-um... why are you sca-"
She cuts me off
"Please," she whispered, her voice trembled as she forced out the words, "Don't go. I don't want to do this."
"Do what...?" I cautiously ask
"...please just come with me. p-please..." she answers, her voice very shaken.
I barely knew this woman. She showed a ton of red flags and this just escalated significantly. Although it created much guilt in me, I decided to run away.
"COME BACK, PLEASE!!!" She screamed, her voice became so hoarse from her desperate screaming it hurt to hear her...
Eventually, I arrive back home.
I think to myself "Finally some peac-" I feel some liquid drip on my nose from the ceiling. I turn on the light and look up. My eyes widen. I swiftly run to bathroom and vomit for what seems like hours from the grotesque sight I've just witnessed. I return to the room and stare at Casey's corpse. It was such a grotesque sight that I won't even attempt to describe it, as I think there's such a thing as "too much". But to give you some idea of what happened to her, let's just say... she had very beautiful and clear skin... I wonder where it went...
I kept staring at her body as it hung lifelessly from the ceiling. I then remembered something she said at the start of the date... "I would panic if you didn't come hehe..."

My partner and I have had a tumultuous up and down on and off relationship over the past decade. Oftentimes I feel like we are just not compatible and I can’t give him the affection or attention he requires. I do genuinely love and care for him, but he completely overwhelms me and I try to take it until I inevitably freak out. An example of this is repeatedly getting in my physical space, constant groping and slapping of my breasts, groin, and bum in a way that hurts, tickling, poking me in the neck painfully, distracting me while I’m trying to do things like prepare dinner or while I’m working, purposefully irritating me, jump scaring me when I’m immersed in something (I work from home so it’s frequently while I’m at the computer focused) and then getting upset with me when I ask him (repeatedly) to stop. I don’t like a lot of physical contact. I don’t mind cuddling and intimacy and what not but I don’t enjoy having my body parts pulled and hit, and I LOATHE tickling. I’ve told him it feels like a physical violation, and explained this multiple times but he says it’s just how he shows affection.
We have a very active intimate life, at least once per day. Usually in the morning and in the evening. So he is getting plenty of that type of affection which he states is the most important to him.
Lately he’s started recording me as I go about my day to day tasks like cleaning or whatever, and I’ve noticed he’s started recording me during intimate moments as well which I object to and push the camera away. I told him I don’t like that, it makes me feel weird. He keeps trying to show me the videos which also makes me mad cause I didn’t agree to that. He says he just thinks I’m beautiful, but I feel like….something nefarious about it in my gut.
I’m feeling extremely physically violated. I have a hard time expressing my feelings, and to be honest I don’t have an easy time even feeling anything. Like period. But I get angry and resentful and it just kind of simmers until it spills over.
This has become a pattern where I get more and more overwhelmed, then I act out in some way and it causes a huge fight. He berates me and screams at me and leaves, refusing to speak to me for days. Usually about 1 week. I am not innocent in this, because I usually do something he hates. In the moment I don’t realize this and it’s always afterwards with self reflection I can see it. I can’t seem to get ahead of the build up, or maybe I try to but I’m not effectively communicating how annoyed and overwhelmed I am. I always feel so bad after. I feel so stupid and emotionally incompetent.
We got into an argument yesterday and I’m realizing this is such a pattern. My cat got hurt and my brother came with me to take him to the vet. My partner flipped out on me so bad for going with my brother. He accused me of hanging out with guys and was acting like I made the whole thing up. Called me a liar. I messaged him with an update on the cat and he didn’t reply. I will add, I don’t ever hang out with men that aren’t blood related to me. Meaning my little brother and my father. I have exclusively female friends. I find this accusation particularly offensive, because it makes me think that he’s the one off spending time with other women if that’s his knee jerk response to me asking for some emotional support while my pet is injured. My brother doesn’t like him so I suppose that could be it.
I feel so disconnected from my feelings and my body. I’m logically trying to figure this out. Am I imagining things? Is the way he’s constantly in my physical space normal? Is it wrong for me to ask for space and have that respected? Am I a bad partner for not giving enough?
Just needed to get that off my chest. I don’t feel comfortable speaking to my friends and family due to our complicated history.

New Model - Amazing Flower Crochet Pattern: Online Tutorial for Beginners in Crocheting... https://youtu.be/09f76J_FZos?si=7AnjjAAqAjikn1cQ *

New Model - Amazing Flower Crochet Pattern: Online Tutorial for Beginners in Crocheting... https://youtu.be/09f76J_FZos?si=7AnjjAAqAjikn1cQ *

Synopsis:
Carlos was an ordinary software engineer on Earth, up until he died and found himself in a fantasy world of dungeons, magic, and adventure. This new world offers many fascinating possibilities, but it's unfortunate that the skills he spent much of his life developing will be useless because they don't have computers.
Wait, why does this spell incantation read like a computer program's source code? Magic is programming?
___
Here we go with book 2!
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Carlos lounged comfortably on one of the mayor's fancy sofas. At 23 years old with a healthy body he really didn't need cushioned upholstery, but he liked how it felt. Honestly, he was probably more comfortable with high quality furniture than someone of his relatively low-income background should be in this world. Spoiled by the mass production factories of modern Earth, I suppose. All of this stuff here is probably handmade. Er, make that definitely handmade. Unless they have magic factories I haven't heard about, or something. He mentally shrugged. There was no point trying to change his attitudes toward furniture now. While this world might have higher prices for a lot of things than he was used to, he was also a lot richer than he was used to thanks to having become a noble lord. People would expect him to treat fine furniture as cheap because of his station.
I might have the physical habits of a couch potato, but at least I don't look like one. Too skinny. Not as skinny as Amber, though. He smiled as he watched the young woman next to him on the sofa continue animatedly expounding on their recent adventures together. She was lanky, with few curves to speak of and spindly limbs, far from any conventional picture of feminine beauty. Her hair, a slightly lighter shade of brown than his own, was cropped short. He thought she was 18 or 19 years old, but wasn't sure. Have I really never asked her age before? ... Would that be a rude question here? Regardless of her age, she had grown her confidence a lot since their first meeting a few weeks ago. She'd found her footing in a new life that she'd seized with utter determination, and he saw no sign of the shyness that she'd first greeted him with. The way her potential was finally blooming was beautiful to watch.
Carlos turned his gaze to the sofa across from them and carefully held back from laughing at the expressions Trinlen was making as Amber wrapped up explaining the events and developments they'd gone through since their introduction to him at the Royal Mage Academy. Carlos had contributed a fair amount to the explanation at first, but Amber had taken to it with enthusiasm when she arrived, and he could tell she was enjoying it. The young man in front of them, newly graduated from said academy, was on the edge of his seat and leaning forward, hanging attentively on every word. His casual attire, plain and made of cheap materials, looked thoroughly out of place on the finely embroidered velvet of the sofa, but he'd shown no sign of even noticing the finery around him. Excitement warred for control of his face with surprise, disbelief, envy, and dismay.
Amber finished her impromptu monologue, and Trinlen slowly schooled his face into a neutral expression. His voice was tense and tightly controlled. "So... In short, you're telling me that in the mere two weeks since you met me, you discovered a mana-poaching conspiracy of nobles, were abducted right under the noses of two royal guards without them even noticing, absorbed mana so fast that you gained 6 levels in a day and a half - so unfair, by the way - somehow learned an obscure portal spell from just its name and description, found evidence of a conspiracy against the Crown, and personally met a princess." He paused, then threw his hands up as he wailed in frustration and disappointment. "And I missed it!?"
Carlos threw back his head and burst out laughing. He couldn't help it. Trinlen just sounded so much like a little kid who'd barely missed out on a candy store giving away its entire stock for free. It was such an incredible light-hearted contrast with how everyone else viewed these same events that the sheer ridiculousness of it was overwhelming. Amber joined the laughter a moment later, shaking her head in amused disbelief, and after a few more seconds Trinlen started chuckling too.
Carlos's laughter eventually trailed off, and he took a deep breath to settle down. "Thanks, Trinlen. It's been a very stressful two weeks, and laughing like that helped release a lot of it. Feels good. Anyway, what have you been up to? I thought you would take a whole month to graduate?"
"Technically I only said 'next month', not that it would be at the same point in the month. But yes, this is earlier than I expected. The normal graduation ceremony is still a week and a half away." Trinlen shrugged. "They didn't explain the reasons, but after what you said I'm guessing your meeting with the princess prompted her to do something. The vice headmaster called me to his office yesterday morning, a few teachers grilled me on my classwork, and they declared I'd passed my exams. Then they told me to pack because I'd be teleported to my new employers the next day, and here I am." He sighed. "Hmph. Now I won't get to humiliate Norla in front of the whole academy when she gives her speech." Then he perked up and grinned widely. "But it sounds like you two are going to be so much fun that I'll get over it in no time!"
"I'm not sure if I agree with your idea of fun, Trinlen, but if it motivates you to help us more then that's good enough for me." Carlos chuckled again. "Anyway, do you need some time to get settled in? You might need to think about lesson plans for us too. We don't need just catalogues of incantations to learn anymore, at least not for simple ones, but I believe you learned other things in the academy too. You mentioned creating your own spells, as I recall."
Trinlen nodded. "I did mention that, yes. I'm guessing your lack of need for a catalogue is because of your newfound ability to somehow pull entire incantations from thin air? You'll have to at least tell me about the limitations of that so I'll know what I still need to teach you, but yeah, there are other things. For one thing, there's your sloppy terminology! Why does no one outside of the academy care about properly distinguishing between the states of mana? Is it really that hard to understand that calling aether, mana, and essence all by the same term obscures your meaning and often causes confusion? Or are people so stupid that they can't even understand the difference?"
Carlos blinked and exchanged a look with Amber. His comprehension aid informed him about the distinction the instant Trinlen spoke the terms. That would have been nice to know earlier. The comprehension aid is a house secret, so we should let him explain. "At least for us, it's just ignorance. I don't think I've even heard the other two terms you mentioned, and certainly no one ever explained them. So, what is the difference?"
Trinlen paused, cocked his head for a moment, and slowly deflated after his impassioned rant. "Yeah, okay, that's fair. I don't think I ever heard about it before going to the academy either." He sat up straight. "Aether is what you've been calling ambient mana. It's thin like air, and it's everywhere. Its only use is converting it to mana or essence. Mana, using the term with proper precision, is thicker but still fluid like water. It exists primarily in people or creatures and is used as fuel to supply power for spells and magical effects. Essence is hard and solid. It is the material that soul structures are made of, as well as the forms of active spells and enchantments. Am I clear so far?"
Amber answered first. "Yes, I'm familiar with each of the forms you described. I have questions about more details - so many questions - but you should get properly settled in, and maybe eat lunch, before we really get down to it. Have you spoken with Mayor Stelras yet? Do you have lodging sorted out?"
"I went by his office first. He's having someone take my luggage to an inn. The Adventurer's Haven, I think? He said something about a 'low-value target' and having an empty suite already booked." Trinlen's eyes widened. "Waaait a minute. Is he putting me in the room you two were abducted from?"
Carlos shrugged. "Sounds like it."
"Nice! Think there'll be any evidence left of how it was done?"
"Haha! Probably not by this point, but you're welcome to look. Now go get unpacked, eat a meal, and start planning your lessons for us. I'm glad you're here, but we have some other things to do too."
Trinlen nodded and stood up. "Sure. I'll be back before you miss me."
Carlos waved as Trinlen sauntered out the door. He and Amber sat in companionable silence for a while as he felt the mana - or essence? - of Trinlen's soul moving off into the distance. "Well. That was interesting. It's good to have him, but I was expecting a bit more time to think and plan before he'd get here."
"Yeah." Amber stretched and then leaned back into the sofa's cushions, luxuriating in their soft firmness. "So, how much are we going to tell him? How useful will his knowledge even be for us, now that we have, what did you call it, the reference documentation? That bit about the states of mana is good to know, but is it really relevant and important, and how much more can there be that's not in the documentation?"
"Be careful talking about that out loud, remember?" Carlos relaxed and draped his arms across the sofa's back as he focused his mind on their mental bond through Purple, their friendly dungeon core. [On Earth, we made many languages similar to the language of incantations, and we had the reference documentation for all of them. We even published that documentation free for everyone to have. Teachers for those languages were still useful, and even critically important for many people. Having access to knowledge doesn't mean you automatically understand how to properly apply it. There may be related knowledge we have no idea even exists. There could be techniques and patterns for how to use the language that are simply outside the scope of the documentation. Perhaps most importantly, a teacher can use their experience to notice a student's mistakes and correct them before they become problems.]
[Hmm.] Amber bit her lip, thinking. [Like how I knew about making soul structures and synergies between them, but had no idea about the importance of being able to examine and fix them, I suppose.]
Carlos nodded. [Yeah. And that's a really simple example. I know some that are a lot more complex, though I'm not sure how many of them are even applicable for incantations. Inversion of control, dependency injection, factory patterns...] He shook his head. [Just the context knowledge needed to be able to fully understand those could take days or weeks to teach well enough for you to use them. I could maybe explain the basic ideas faster with some simplified analogies, but that would lose so many details that I doubt it would still be useful.]
Amber paused. [... Even my comprehension aid is baffled by the terms you just said. It translated the individual words that you said, but all I got for the phrases is a confusing jumble.] She chuckled. [Anyway, I concede the point. Trinlen will still be able to teach us important and useful things. We still need to decide what secrets to share with him.]
[A lot depends on how good he is at keeping secrets. We don't actually know him all that well yet. He's certainly fun, and he seems clever, but for assessing his integrity we're leaning pretty hard on just a janitor vouching for him.] Carlos frowned in thought. [In order for him to do his job, he needs to know that we can only "pull an entire incantation from thin air" if it's a simple one. He does not need to know the full details of help, however, and most certainly does not need to learn to use it himself. That secret is a very sensitive one, where even just letting too much knowledge of it spread would lose us a major advantage.]
[Definitely. No casting help where he can hear it, and don't say anything about it that's not directly relevant for his teaching, either. Not until he's earned our full trust.] Amber lapsed into silent consideration. [We should introduce him to Purple. We'll kind of have to at some point anyway, and the really valuable thing there is Purple himself, not just the knowledge of his existence.]
Carlos nodded. [True. I think that probably is the least sensitive of our house secrets, and being able to call him through a bond with Purple would be useful.] He chuckled. [And maybe his cleverness will end up producing some good ideas for Purple to use. See if he can find a more productive outlet than pranks for his creativity. And then... If he keeps that secret well enough for long enough, we can consider trusting him with more secrets.]
Amber sent back wordless agreement.
Carlos started sitting up, lifting himself out of the comfortable cushions. "Well, we should get some food ourselves, too. And maybe introduce Trinlen to everyone else along with Purple." He stood up and spotted a letter he'd set aside when Trinlen arrived. "Oh yeah, and what do you think we should do about Kindar?"
"Wait, what's this about Kindar?"
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Introduction. Ragdoll Kittens for sale

Welcome to the world of Ragdoll kittens, where charm meets elegance in a furry bundle of joy. As an avid lover of felines, I understand the allure and fascination that surrounds these enchanting creatures. Ragdoll kittens, with their striking blue eyes and silky fur, have captured the hearts of many cat enthusiasts around the globe. In this article, we will delve into the enchanting world of Ragdoll kittens for sale, exploring their popularity, unique characteristics, and the responsibilities that come with owning one of these delightful companions. Whether you are a seasoned cat owner or considering adding a new member to your family, join me on this journey as we uncover everything you need to know about Ragdoll kittens and how to find the perfect match for your lifestyle and preferences.

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Conclusion

In conclusion, Ragdoll kittens are truly a special breed that captivates the hearts of many with their striking appearance and gentle demeanor. Their popularity stems not only from their stunning blue eyes and luxurious fur but also from their affectionate and sociable nature. As potential owners consider bringing a Ragdoll kitten into their homes, it is crucial to understand the responsibilities that come with caring for these beautiful creatures. From providing proper nutrition to creating a safe environment, owning a Ragdoll kitten requires commitment and dedication. When searching for Ragdoll kittens for sale, it is essential to do thorough research and choose a reputable breeder who prioritizes the health and well-being of their cats. By following these tips and guidelines, individuals can find the perfect Ragdoll kitten companion that will bring joy and love into their lives for years to come.Introduction

I’m attempting my first tapestry crochet pattern and I see a lot of people mentioning here and on the main crochet sub that the back of tapestry pieces tend to look cleaner than the front. But why? When sc/hdc stitches are made consistently in turned work shouldn’t the two sides be identical/have the same amount of stitch tilt, just in alternating rows? Would love to hear from people with more tapestry crochet experience!

I'm new to skyrim and modding in general but I read on load order is important that the game runs properly but I have no idea what or how to exactly sort it properly. Could anybody give a general guideline to follow. Currently whenever i encounter any problems i either do: a) Skip the mod entirely after searching the mods and found it might be too complex to follow b) Reinstall Skyrim and hope for the best c) Enable and disable mods to find out which is working or not working
Here's my plugin modlist if it helps
0 0 Skyrim.esm
1 1 Update.esm
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Unofficial Skyrim Special Edition Patch.esp
unofficial skyrim creation club content patch.esl
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Campfire.esm
FlowerGirls SE.esm
TrueHUD.esl
SurvivalControlPanel.esp
Experience.esl
Schlongs of Skyrim - Core.esm
High Poly Head.esm
Expressive Facegen Morphs.esl
OCPA.esl
SkyUI_SE.esp
SMIM-SE-Merged-All.esp
Audio Overhaul Skyrim.esp
Relationship Dialogue Overhaul.esp
Immersive Jewelry.esp
AI Overhaul.esp
DungeonsRevisited.esp
Hand Placed Enemies.esp
Immersive Encounters.esp
Hothtrooper44_ArmorCompilation.esp
Point The Way.esp
0Kaidan.esp
Cloaks.esp
Immersive Weapons.esp
Summermyst - Enchantments of Skyrim.esp
Wildcat - Combat of Skyrim.esp
ImprovedCompanionsBoogaloo.esp
DBM_IW_Patch.esp
ElysiumEstate.esp
Schlongs of Skyrim.esp
SOS - Shop.esp
Occ_Skyrim-Legacy_of_Dragonborn_patch.esp
isilNarsil.esp
Hothtrooper44_Armor_Ecksstra.esp
LABikiniSSE.esp
icepenguinworldmapclassic.esp
Ars Metallica.esp
Cloaks - Dawnguard.esp
Cloaks - USSEP Patch.esp
My Home Is Your Home.esp
Fenrir Blades.esp
Bijin Warmaidens.esp
RichMerchantsSkyrim_x5.esp
The Huntsman.esp
UIExtensions.esp
RaceMenu.esp
XPMSE.esp
AddItemMenuSE.esp
RaceMenuPlugin.esp
FNIS.esp
DSerArcheryGameplayOverhaul.esp
UltimateCombat.esp
Sarta Sword.esp
VioLens SE.esp
DSerCombatGameplayOverhaul.esp
MithrodinSword.esp
Sarah Follower.esp
SOSRaceMenu.esp
CBBE.esp
RaceMenuMorphsCBBE.esp
NibeneanArmorsAndOutfit.esp
CL's Crissaegrim.esp
MCMHelper.esp
MovementMCO.esp
Lazy Weapon Pack.esp
TrueDirectionalMovement.esp
Precision.esp
AX KaidanArsenal.esp
BetterQuestObjectives.esp
BetterQuestObjectives - LOTD Patch.esp
AX KaidanArmory.esp
SmoothCam.esp
Lazy Weapon Pack 2.esp
ValhallaCombat.esp
Attack_MCO.esp
KatanaCrafting.esp
IA CBBE Patch.esp
ImperialStormcloakRangerSet.esp
12FemaleBrows.esp
Keytrace.esp
scar-adxp-patch.esp
I4IconAddon.esp
Arena.esp
HotKeySkill.esp
BowRapidCombo.esp
beltfastenedquivers.esp
Chesko_WearableLantern.esp
EnhancedAtronachs.esp
BetterThirdPersonSelection.esp
Alternate Dual Wield Weapon Speed.esp
Sojourn Over Signposts.esp
JaxonzMCMKicker.esp
ValhallaBackStabFix.esp
FPSBoost.esp
Insignificant Object Remover.esp
WaitYourTurn.esp
SkyrimReputation_SSE.esp
BuyStatsPerks.esp
Skyrim Reputation Improved.esp
Skyrim Reputation Patch.esp
AutomaticItemStorage.esp
Ursine Armour - Non HDT.esp
weight_usleep.esp
Armor of Intrigue.esp
UnreadBooksGlow.esp
TransmuteSoulGems.esp
SOS - Smurf Average Addon.esp
SOS - VectorPlexus Regular Addon.esp
[dint999] HairPack02.esp
Realistic AI Detection 3 - Medium Interior, Medium Exterior.esp
SlightlyFasterDaggers.esp
Book Of Shadows.esp
Nicos Reversed Daggers.esp
ObiWarpaintsTattoos.esp
ObiTattoos.esp
DBVO.esp
Hydra's Reversed Daggers.esp
BW Lydia.esp
LeftHandRings.esp
ImmersiveJewelryXSummermyst - Unrestricted.esp
DBM_UnreadBooksGlow_Patch.esp
DBM_ImmersiveJewelry_Patch.esp
DBM_CloaksofSkyrim_Patch.esp
DBM_SMIM_Patch.esp
AI Overhaul - RDO Updated Patch.esp
BW ifd Lydia patch.esp
IFDL_BijinAlt_Patch.esp
DBM_IA_Patch.esp
LydiaPatch.esp
LydiaPatchForLOTD.esp
zhenli 1.esp
AkaviriTsurugi.esp
OrcPonytailsForHumans.esp
loki_POISE.esp
KS Hairdo's.esp
OneClickPowerAttackMCM.esp
Immersive Citizens - AI Overhaul.esp
Convenient Horses.esp
Convenient Horses Anniversary Edition Patch.esp
Ordinator - Perks of Skyrim.esp
AutomaticItemStorage - Ordinator Patch.esp
Alternate Start - Live Another Life.esp
BetterQuestObjectives-AlternateStartPatch.esp
nwsFollowerFramework.esp
And here's the left panel modlist :
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Does anybody know if KWknitsWlove does crochet or knitting? Based on their screen/shop name, I'd usually say knitting, but the pictures of the shawls look crocheted. I looked at the item detail section on a few listings, but it doesn't seem to say, and I would like to know before I purchase as a pattern, as it would not be returnable if it does turn out to be a knitting pattern.
https://www.etsy.com/shop/KWknitsWlove?ref=shop-header-name&listing_id=895932849&from_page=listing

Hi
I‘ve been having permanent derealization for around 8 years. When derealaization started my thought were that i‘m going to die i thought i had some kind of brain tumor or something else. I‘ve bee living very long with it at some point i thought that i‘ve accepted it but i actually didn‘t i just got used to it. One year ago in feburary my muscles started twitching and i freaked out they were constantly twitching and every twitch just scared me until my arms and legs started hurting that was the point where i told myself i can‘t anymore so i went to a doctor, i was always scared of going to a doctor cause i thought he would tell me some bad news. He listened to what i had to say we did the check ups and then he told me i‘m completely fine and that my problem is mental. I went to a psychiatrist and started taking medication. Some symptoms were actually really easening. That fog i had in front of my eyes started to disappearing, i wasn‘t that tired anymore and reading was actually getting easier for me.
Now 1 year of treatment has passed i‘d say i recovered around 60% my memory still isn‘t what it used to be before realization but it got better and the days pass by and long term it is getting better, there are days where i think its worse again but this is only for a short time.
My muscle twitches didn‘t disappeared until i went onto a 3 week vacation to Japan. I walked alot and i payed attention to the surroundings i really tried hard to pay attention and absorb the moment and to feel like i‘m in this moment. Since then they started disappearing.
I also had issues with body positivity and i just started to think about it and telling me fuck it who cares? I have my life and i only have one life am i going to think about how other judge about me? and since i just started giving a shit what others think it really got better.
I think sometimes we dont realize what our problems are and what is bothering our mind.
We just need to reflect out thinking and try to focus on the surroundings and beauty of life. I know it is hard to stay focused on something when you have derealization and it is not an easy way but if you try your best to just shutdown that thinking pattern and focusing on your surroundings and on reality everyday you can achieve alot.

This complete guide on The Fool tarot card is brought to you by psychics4u.net. For more valuable information, insights and resources, visit: http://psychics4u.net/
What does the fool mean in the tarot cards? The fool is the most wild tarot card in the deck that you can ever get in a psychic reading. The meaning of the fool tarot card is all about new beginnings, a journey which is usually spiritual and fast change. It indicates that things are really going to go forward for you whether it’s love, relationship, money, work, career and health. But all of these good predictions will come true, only if you will believe in yourself and take calculated risks.
If you are interested in learning everything about the meaning of the fool’s journey tarot card, you came to the right place. Keep on reading till the end of this guide as you will find here lots of useful information regarding to:

1. The fool’s journey tarot card description and symbolism.
2. Personality traits.
3. The meaning in love, relationship, money, work, career and health.
4. Is the fool a good tarot card or is it bad?
5. Does the fool tarot card mean yes or no?
6. How to read the fool’s journey tarot card in upright and reversed position.
7. The fool tarot card meaning in past, present and future.
8. The meaning of the number 0 (zero) and 22.
9. Interpretation of astrological zodiac sign.
10. Meaning as feelings.
11. The fool tarot card art and history.

The fool tarot card meaning: Description and symbolism
When we take a first look at the art of fool’s journey tarot card, we immediately notice the bright yellow sun light, the worm rays, the orange – yellow sky and the lite brown ground. The fool has loose and comfortable clothes with flowers patterns on them, mostly yellow which also matches the shoes` shade. Yellow symbolize enlightenment, happy feelings and positive energies.
The fool is ready to take the leap of faith – start a journey to the unknown territory. He doesn’t care if he will encounter obstacles down the road or dangerous situations in the way. He is ready to go no matter what will happen. In fact the fool doesn’t even think about the meaning these problems.
The fool doesn’t care too much about the material world. He collected just the necessary items and packed all his little possessions in a small bag, holding it with his right hand. On the left hand he is holding a beautiful white rose. It means the willingness to scarify and devotion to the spiritual path of life.
Look at his face directed forward and up to the sky, they are full of inspiration, vision and confidence in the current moment. He is free of fear but also innocence because he isn’t aware of the fact that bad things might happen during the unknown journey.
He is standing on the hill, one step before the deadly abyss, caught in the moment. He trusts the universe that everything will turn on the right and positive side. The white dog is barking and jumping, trying to warn him about the chasm. The snowy white mountains and hills from behind also represent a potential slippery outcomes.
The fool is in movement, he is not just standing there, he took the first step and willing to take many more steps in order to complete the journey. In the end he is seeking meaningful spirituality, to be developed to a higher self. However, right now he doesn’t know exactly how to achieve it. There is no plan, no logical calculations, not even knowledge nor experience. Just the element of fire – the burning desire to go forward.
When we look at the fool’s face we can’t really recognize if it’s a man or a woman. That interpretation means it has both the male and female energies, working together in symbiosis.
The fool tarot card meaning as Personality (Persona)
The fool is a free spirit that has no worries, doesn’t always aware of dangerous and the consequences of his action, too impulsive, acting before thinking. This is why the fool needs help when making big decisions.
He is just like a little kid who is very curious and loves to explore everything about the world. He knows he will make mistakes and it will hurt a lot. Yet it doesn’t stop him from taking an action. He likes the experiences of life whether they are good or even bad. He can learn from each situation and grow wiser and stronger. His main goal is to go after the possibility, even if it doesn’t look very clear or doable at the current phase.
The art of celebrating the joy of life. Admiring the beautifulness of the little things, very positive, optimistic and looking at the bright side.
Flexible, can adapt to most situation. He doesn’t have a solid philosophy or principle he must apply, other than been carefree. He still doesn’t have a strong personality and foundations. He is waiting to be shaped by the future experiences.
He is new to this world; he doesn’t always play by the social norms or cultural rules. Mainly because the fool doesn’t knows the meaning of most of them yet. But after the experience is gained the personality will be shaped on the positive way.
What does the fool card mean in love and relationship reading?
The fool card in love and relationships is meaning a huge surprise. You might encounter your lover in a sequence of events that you never would predict, out of the blue. For example, a new stranger that comes into town, new neighbour or new work colleague.
It can also indicate that there is a person that is close to you, but you haven’t really thought you two are compatible in terms of romance, or can go along together because you two have different personality traits. You will suddenly realise that it can happen.
When it comes to a new relationship there is a lot of excitement in the air, meaning fresh positive energy and optimism. While it might give you good feelings and joy, you also need to be caution a bit. You don’t see the whole picture and what you can’t see might hurt you.
There will be warning signs and it is advised to take in consideration every weird signal into consideration. Your friends and family might have an opinion about your new love relationship, please note that they are not jealous or want things to go wrong for you. They just care that everything will work on the good path.
Don’t be too much swept of your feet, in the end you will have to face reality. What you think about a certain man or woman and what is going on in real life are two different things. Once you encounter the polarity between the two, you might be very disappointed.
If what you are looking for is a long term relationship like marriage, than this is not a good tarot card. The fool’s journey tarot card is indicating the beginning but not the middle and the end. Things will change or develop. If you want this to success there is still a lot of work to be done. The person you are seeing right now is not looking for a commitment. Maybe in the future it will change.
If you are a woman the fool tarot card also stand for fertility. It might predict a pregnancy – start of a new life.
The fool tarot card meaning in work, career and money
New possibilities are coming in your way. This is the time to take action and do what you always wanted. Maybe you always wanted to change your career, maybe you want to work somewhere else or maybe to have your own business.
The main interpretation or meaning is that you need to go with what you believe in, even if there will be hard times during that period. Some people will not like what you are doing, they will try to stop you and change your mind. Situations like this need to be balance. On the one hand it’s good to listen to them, because they have other point of view and might teach you new perspective. On the other way don’t let it to discourage you from achieving the goal.
Understand that making a change related to work and money has its own risks. You can find yourself unemployed for a while or even loosing money. But when we are looking at the long term of the journey, in most cases there will be a success.
The fool tarot card meaning health
Regarding health, the fool tarot card meaning is good physical conditions.
If you were sick before, the interpretation is that the illness might begin to disappear and you suppose to feel much better.
Another possible meaning and interpretation is regarding to health is physical accident. As you may very well know by now, the fool is taking risks without thinking about them too much. The fool is on the verge of the cliff and if something will go wrong he will slip down.
Is the fool a good tarot card or is it bad?
Basically the fool’s journey is a good tarot card, as the main meaning is a new beginning. Usually when we have something new in our life, it is exciting, gives us good feeling and very interesting and intriguing. At this moment we pay attention only to the good and positive aspects of the event. We normally drawn to the situation, don’t think too much about it and we don’t want to ruin it, just flow with the current.
However, nothing is perfect and you also need to be aware of dangerous situations that are a head of you. There will be warning signs of bad energies. Therefore the best practice is no keep an eye on what is going on.
Does the fool tarot card mean yes or no?
The fool’s journey tarot card is usually neutral. The card is symbolizing something fresh and new possibilities. It can turn bad or good depending or the steps you take during your journey. More often than not it is interpreted as a yes card.
The fool’s journey tarot card upright meaning
Upright keywords: new beginnings, freedom, originality, foolishness, spontaneity, travel, adventure, leap of faith, careless, innocence.
The upright meaning of the fool tarot card is about taking risks in order to improve your situation and gain more of what you really want in life. Every one of us has certain desires and personal goals that we want to pursue. So if this card show up in a psychic reading than it is a good time to start a new adventure.
You have to be brave and face your inner demons and fears. Although the card is generally positive, the road to happiness is not easy and you will encounter some problems. From that reason it is very crucial that you will have faith and believe in yourself. Believe that you can do it, even if right now it is not very clear how, you will find the solution. Even if everyone around advice or telling you that you will fail, don’t listen to them too much and go only with your inner true.
Don’t look back on past experiences. Even if you had bad moments, don’t let them hold you from changing your situation. Remember the lessons you have learned and just keep on go forward all the way.
The fool’s journey tarot card reversed meaning
Reversed keywords: lack of direction, chaos, naive, reckless, lack of direction, poor judgement
When the tarot card is being spread upside down (reversed), it means that you jumped too far without thinking about the implications of your action, this might put you in trouble. As shown graphically in the fool tarot card, he is standing right before the cliff. Every big step or reckless movement can bring him to death.
Even if the fool tarot card is showing in reversed it still means a new beginning, but something is holding you back. For example it can be fear of the unknown future, failure and inability to make decisions.
The reversed meaning in love and relationship: if you are single than you are not ready for a long term relationships, you will not find term partner. If you are already seen someone that he or she doesn’t ready to make a commitment. They just want to have fun and fool around.
With money and career, when the tarot card is reversed, beware that no one is taking an advantage or you. For example someone can offer you a bad business idea or shady investment opportunity. And in the end you will lose lots of money.
The fool tarot card meaning in past, present and future
When we relate to the past, the meaning of the fool tarot card is that you have wasted lots of time and energies on people or work or relationships that you are no longer interested in. you had enough with all of this and you are looking for something different.
The present: right now you need a change, you don’t know if it will turn out to be good or bad. You are standing on a crossroad, you need to make a choice and just go for it. Things are looking too complicated right now, this is fine and you will have to address those issues but not right now. The most important thing is that you’ll move on to the desired direction.
The future: the fool tarot card is mainly concern about the present moment. But it can give us a little projection on the future as well. In the future you will have to invent yourself, adapt and be very flexible. When you will see a new opportunity, don’t hesitate and don’t go back to your old habits, which are holding you back.
The fool tarot card number meaning
The fool tarot card is a part of the whole 22 major arcana cards. It referred to key number 0 (zero), meaning the first in the deck. But it can also be placed at the end – key number 22. Because of that fact, the fool symbolizing the beginning and the end of a life cycle. Further more, the cycle is endless so in theory it goes in never-ending loop forever and ever, repeat itself to the eternity.
During our life, we will go through the 21 keys or elements of the fool’s journey. We will meet people who will teach us lessons about life. We will change our behaviour and feelings in order to continue with the journey. So in the end we will go back to the very first place that it was all begun, but now we are different in the way that we are wiser and stronger. It is more like spiritual voyage of self discovery.
The word fool in French language means a sack that is full of air, not with material objects. This is the reason why everything is possible even if it doesn’t seem so. It is also a symbol of triumph.
The number zero in numerology represents no limitation and lots of positive options to choose from. It is nothing and yet it is also everything together. The order of the numbers doesn’t apply to zero, as it all start afterwards. So there is no past for the fool, only future.
22 innumerology is great transformation energy. It is the ability to turn dreams and wishes to come true to the world of reality.
The fool tarot card astrological zodiac sign
The fool tarot card astrological zodiac signs are Aquarius and Pisces.
Aquarius is the 11th zodiac in astrology, mainly represents the element of water. Liquid flow that travel on earth. Strong current of water that can creates its own path by shaping rivers, lakes and the bottom of the ocean. Always on the move, looking for new adventure and can get bored really quick.
Pisces is a dreamer very much like the fool’s personality from the tarot card. They want to go somewhere, but they can’t decide what the right direction for them is. They have this conflict as depict in the zodiac sign – two fish, each one of them is swimming to another side. Pisces are also very emotional and control by their feelings.
In astrology the role of Uranus planet is to be like a clock, to awake us and get us doing things. This is very similar to the fool’s situation as described in the tarot card. There is some burning flame of fire inside of him that wouldn’t let him rest until he will find his answers. It is a call to take immediate action.
The fool tarot card meaning as feelings
As feelings, the fool’s journey tarot card gives us positive feelings. In most cases the answers to you questions are yes, there are good energies and positive vibes surrounding you. Even if the tarot card show in reversed it is still have bigger aspect of positivity with a minor challenge that stands in your way. In fact, it the ancient days of psychic reading the card was actually a joker – the most powerful item in the deck.
The fool tarot card art and history
Long time ago when tarot cards were used as a game and not for psychic reading, the fool’s card was the most powerful card in the deck. He was outside of the order and if you had it, you could protect and win the game.
Few hundreds year later the art of this tarot card was described more as someone who has unwanted personality in society, and therefore he lost all his magic and power. People didn’t want to associate themselves with this image. It was considered a negative energy and bad omen from the future. It symbolized unsuccessful life, misfortune and tormeneted feelings.
Later on, the fool’s image became a man of courage. Until that very day, the fool’s is still the hero card on the tarot deck. Although he is numbered 0 (zero) which mean nothing, he denotes new journey and possibilities, which is everything we need.
In many myths, legends and folklore story through history, the fool is actually the wisest person of all. He might look a little different or simple or even out of the common norms, but he knows better. Although at the beginning he didn’t had too much wisdom, his actions and failures through life, brought him new experiences and valuable lessons to learn from. All of this could happen just because of one thing: he wasn’t afraid to take the risk.
In fact, those who are dismissing him or don’t understand him, are the real fools because they don’t know how much wisdom he has to offer to the world.
Other names for the fool tarot card: joker, jester, clown, buffoon, folie, fov, il matto, le fou, and le mat.
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