Happy 21 birthday friend poem

bit of a rant
My (cis f) partner came out as trans (mtf) two weeks ago and I'm still struggling with this change. I spent much of last week crying, like I was mourning the guy I befriended and fell in love with. I always pictured myself with a man, and I've only ever seen her as one.
She doesn't plan on presenting differently or going on HRT, nor is she changing her name, but she went from identifying as a guy to a girl. I feel so guilty for being sad and raining on her happiness. I'm trying to be supportive but it hurts. She seems much more cheerful now, while I'm having a hard time. And the changes aren't even that drastic, so I feel like I'm being dramatic.
Sometimes things seem fine and everything is good again, but when our mutual friends use her new pronouns or refer to her with feminine titles, it's gut-wrenching. Everyone else adjusted so quickly and has no trouble using she/her. There's a mental barrier where I can't see my partner as a girl, and trying to do so is a contradiction. Even as I type, using she/her feels unnerving. But it makes her happy, and that's what matters to me.
I think I would be fine with everything without any labels attached. My partner has always been more feminine, which I love. Putting her strictly in the "girl" category, though, just feels conflicting. This wasn't something I had anticipated when we first started dating, but I feel guilty for having second thoughts now, because labels shouldn't matter, right?
I think I'm still in denial that this is happening. I'm worried that once I really start seeing her as a girl, I'll lose romantic feelings. I'm straight. Recently my friends have joked that I'm lesbian now, which makes me want to melt my skin off.
I'm saying goodbye to the relationship dynamics we had, and while I really want to welcome the change, it's hard to let go of what I thought we were. I don't know. I don't want to break up because everything has been so good, but if I stay, I either have to set aside my sexuality or perceive my partner as something that they're not.
I told her some of my fears, and she was as kind and understanding as always. She assured me that I could take my time with this change and that she loves me regardless. I haven't spoken about the pit of dread opening inside me, but I think they know that there's a chance things won't work out for us.
This is still a recent change, so I hope it gets easier over time. I can't help but worry that I won't be able to handle the change, though.

I saw something suspicious and I would like to report it but every non-emergency I called wouldn’t pick up. Should I dial 911 or wait until the morning and call again.
2 days ago my friend and I met up on bikes to go smoke at the park. It was a bit rainy and nobody else was out so it was very strange to see a 10-15 year old girl walk past us and stand off in the distance for a moment. She was dressed in bright pink clothes unlike something an older person would wear. A few moments later an old looking white car pulls up with absolutely no license plates despite the fact that both front and black plates are legally required In NJ. For about 3-5 minutes the car idled and the girl stayed put. Just as my friend and I were joking with each other at how strange the scenario was starting to feel, the girl walks up to the car and gets in and the car leaves in the opposite direction out of town. This is when we noticed both plates were missing. My friend doesn’t think it was anything strange but I have had felt a bad gut feeling ever since when I think about it. I wish I had walked up to the girl to make sure she was alright but I’m a 21 year old guy and I honestly didn’t want to scare her myself. I’m ashamed that I didn’t trust me gut immediately or call 911 immediately after. I live in a decent neighborhood but we lie directly on the route between Atlantic City and Philadelphia which are hubs for sex traffickers.

I ask a friend to make a birthday cake for my son. We have a big party. My mum is gluten intolerant and has gone to my friend and told her to make the cake gluten free but not tell anyone. My friend told me. I fell upset about this becuase most people coming have tried and don't like gluten free. My husband and I will try it but probably won't eat it if there are leftovers. I feel a bit put out. We said we will make a serperate gluten free cake but she wants my sons birthday cake to be gluten free so she can have the same as everyone else (which I understand) We are also getting a whole selection of gluten free party food for her. I wouldn't be bothered if she had just asked me and if I could guarantee a gluten free cake would be nice. What do you think. I need to talk to her

Why can’t I ever get over this hump, why can’t I just get a single result that’ll ease my stress, why can’t I just win one small thing.
I have been applying to med for a while now and this is my fifth application cycle. Ontario resident, 514 MCAT in 2019, retook in 2021 for 520, but with a 127 CARS so it’s basically good for nothing in this country, and 3.99 OMSAS overall GPA/4.0 AMCAS GPA.
In 19/20 I got waitlisted for an interview at Mac, got the interview and then COVID happened which turned the admissions to a lottery after the first 100 pre-II top scores got in. I knew I wasn’t in that 100 because I was waitlisted, so I needed the lottery to get in, but that didn’t amount to anything so I got waitlisted again for admission. I didn’t get in, although a bunch of my friends did.
Thankfully they postponed our interviews to the 20/21 cycle so I had another shot then, but they had technical difficulties during the first first round of interviews (which is when mine took place) and made us redo our interviews a week later. This was a bummer since I thought my first MMI went quite well. Unfortunately, the second round of interviews was worse because I had to respond to text-based prompts instead of actual interviewer interaction, so my succeeding interview was much worse. I got waitlisted again for Mac, and again, did not get accepted. But hey blaming others for my mistakes is loser mentality, so onto the next year.
21/22 I took on a full-time job at a clinic to get some clinical experience and retook my MCAT so that I could apply to American schools. However, I applied late which is apparently a big no-no in the States. Somehow, I pulled an interview from a pretty good school (WashU in St Louis), and thought the interview went great. Apparently not, because I got waitlisted again. I'd like to keep the reader in mind that I have consistently been applying to every Ontario school, UBC, Manitoba, and 20 American schools from this point onwards. WashU was my only interview that year though, and as you'd expect, my waitlist did not go anywhere.
22/23 I started a master's in biomed eng., which was super ambitious for me considering I didn't have any experience in engineering as my bachelor's was in biomed science. This year I get 0 interview offers, but that's ok since it gave me more time to complete my master's and strengthen my ECs and stuff.
23/24, aka this year, I finally get some luck with interviews. Got one from UBC, Western, uOttawa, and an interview from a really amazing US school that I won't name. Interview with the US school felt great to me - waitlisted. UBC interview felt fine - rejected last week. Western felt great - waitlisted. So now I am waiting for uOttawa at the dead of night, and remembered that uOttawa was by far my worst interview. But you know, that's not even what I am upset about right now.
I think it is absolutely comical how many times I have gotten waitlisted now. I am put in this perpetual loop of getting my hopes up, having a train ran through those hopes, and then slowly thinking "gOLly MaYBe I wIlL gEt iN oFf tHe WaItLiSt tHiS tImE" and then I never do. I don't get it, I don't get why I am just never good enough. My PI has been praising me saying she is amazed by how fast I have been working to complete my thesis on time because of the June 30th deadline, and she is praising me for all sorts of things and saying how she hates that she's going to lose me to med school and wish I could stay to do a PhD with her. Well Dr. H looks like I am not going anywhere so don't you worry!
I have been busting my ass for the past several months trying to get my thesis completed in time, and apparently it's been for nothing. I have wasted so much money on applications throughout these years, and it's been for nothing. Sorry to mom and dad and for anyone else in my life who was rooting for me, you will never see this post but I am genuinely sorry for disappointing you all, I don't have the courage to actually say it to your faces. Whatever man, I'm so tired.
PS: if anyone here asks me to move out of province, or to apply to DO schools, or gives advice to strengthen my app or interview by doing X or Y, or any other suggestions I see million times on these kind of posts. No. I am done. You know why? Because my MCAT expires after this application cycle in the States. I am not retaking a 520 MCAT.

We have been together nearly 12 months, she has mild autism and has totally unpredictable episodes.
If we are apart for more than about 2 days it is likely she will call late at night in a state, sobbing on the phone generally she will be upset that she feels alone or abandoned. Such call last upwards of an hour and I feel unbelivable guilt and sadness the entire time, my head swims and I can't say much of anything and that only makes things worse because she calls looking for support and my lack of speaking comes off as disinterest. I am quite fragile and these episodes are increadibly taxing on me. As they recur so oftern in their wake I have begun to feel extreamly anxious all the time at the thought of her becoming upset.
In particular when she is away my phone has become an incredibly stressful thing for me, the thought of her calling or texting freaks me out, not knowing if she will be happy just updating me on her day or having another moment. It is much easier when we are together, the anxiety isn't there as much because I can see her and can see if she is or isn't upset but even then she has these episodes that I find it hard to deal with. This has begun to take a real toll on my relationship with her and on other aspects of my life particularly my graduate studies.
I know that I am not the problem in the sense that I am not causing the episodes, she has reassured me of this, but in an effort of not making them effect me as much I feel like I'm losing my sense of self or dissociating from my emotions entirely, I'm beginning to feel kind of robotic. 'I feel thin, sort of stretched, like butter scraped over too much bread'
I really do love and care about her, the time we spend together when she's well is fantastic but these dramatic outbursts are beginning to become all I can think about. I know they are outside of her control and clearly effect her more so than me so I feel inexcusable guilt that this has become a problem for me.
Some weeks ago I let her know this was how I felt and she was really upset. She had not realised the effect it was having on me and didn't think it was fair of her to be relying on me so heavily for support saying she was going to make a conscious effort to better herself and to explore other avenues of support be them friends or professionals.
She is trying her best, has been having regular sessions with a psychiatrist for an extended period and she really realllly loves me and I really love her too but right now I can only feel things getting harder, or at least like I am getting weaker and I dont think the situation is sustainable.
Feeling quite lost and confused as to how to progress from here... Asking for time away sounds counter productive but continuing as things are now doesn't feel logical either.
TLDR: My girlfriend has random meltdowns in which she feels really alone and during them I feel unbelievable guilt, they have become a source of constant anxiety in me and have made her harder to be around and crippling to be without. The stress and anxiety is negatively impacting my ability to do or think about anything else and I'm unsure how to overcome it.

I’ve accidentally broken the boycott twice. The first time, I hadn’t eaten in a while, so I bought fries at McDonald’s. This was about two days into the boycott. Some two months in, I ordered a gift for my then-partner’s birthday on Amazon. I only remembered these incidents recently
Neither of these actions were done with the intent of breaking the boycott, they were stupid and entirely forgetful mistakes. I feel incredibly guilty about this, and if I could take it back I would, and I’m set on fixing my mistake. I’ve donated around (probably over) double what I gave to these companies to Palestinian families in their evacuation GFMs. I’m an impoverished person who’s on disability income support so I don’t have a lot of money but I’m more than happy to do whatever I can to fix my god awful evil mistake. What should I do?

Long post!
Hello everyone I thought I would share my journey
A little over year and a half ago my girlfriend broke up with me, we dated for 6 months which I know is not a long time compared to a lot of you but I was in love with this girl, she was my first girlfriend and the first girl that really gave me a chance and showed me love, I was sure that we were going to spend the rest of our lives together and that she was the one.
So on a Thursday night after work I got a message from her to go for a walk, I was super happy to go and spend some time with my favourite person, after meeting her at the park she wanted to go to and her giving me the usual hug when she stepped back and had tears in her eyes my heart sank and then she started to talking flipping my whole world upside down.
I got home and was crying until the sun came up, what made it harder was the fact we worked together so I had to go into work after having no sleep and see the person that had ripped my heart in half, when I saw her it was like nothing had happened she was laughing smiling and was genuinely happy while I was a mess, every 30 minutes of that day I had to go to the bathroom and cry my eyes out, it ruined me how unaffected she was by all this.
The next month would consist of me lying in bed depressed and looking up every which way I could get her back into my life, no contact was popular so I stared to implement it, I started no contact with the intention of her missing me and coming back into my life and would sit next to my phone all day everyday praying she would send me a message
Then one day I woke up and was at the acceptance stage, I know a lot of you do not want to hear this and a lot of you might just skip this part but as soon as I started to fully accept that this person was no longer in my life and would probably never be in my life again the faster I was able to move on.
I had always been very interested in investing and fitness, during the relationship they became the second option after her, but after the breakup with all this new time on my hands and all of this pain (anger,sadness,guilt,regret) I was able to fully focus on my goals and use the pain as motivation.
6 months after the breakup I became a full time investor and was in the best shape of my life, fast forward today and life has never been better, have my own business have a great support group and am achieving all of my goals.
And my friends if you use all of that pain you are feeling to become a better person, achieve those goals and become the badass version of yourself, that person that made the decision that you were no longer good enough to be apart of them, that person that when you were in bed a mess thinking if you are good enough while they were out hooking up and having the time of their life, the person that when you had to go cry every 30 minutes they were laughing unfazed, when that person tries to re enter your life and ask for a second chance and they are sorry.
It will be US that get the final laugh, because WE have improved and became that boss,because WE do not downgrade and because WE don’t move backwards only forwards.
If you made it this far I appreciate you, I know how hard it is but I promise if you use the pain you are feeling as fuel to become the best person you can you will look back at this and be grateful for this person grateful that this person decided to close the door on a Toyota so it can become a Ferrari.
love you all

nowhere else to put this and i don't want to text my friends or my partner since it's 1 in the morning but i wanted to get it out. i turned 18 today and i have really complicated feelings on the whole thing for a plethora of reasons, so i opened an anonymous textbox quiz on the uquiz platform just to be all "hey it's my 18th bday in like 20 mins! that's all, just wanted to share" so i could feel a little less lonely/afraid about the whole thing and hopefully receive some kind messages.
most people were really sweet & i do think that the kindness outweighs the cruelty, but almost immediately i had 2 people being really vile and sexually harassing me (telling me they hope i get gangbanged, that they're imagining me, that they're waiting 20 mins to start edging to me, etc etc) and i did anticipate something like this but am really disappointed and upset that the fear wasn't irrational. i was already terrified to turn 18 because i didn't want to lose the safety blanket of not being 'legal', but now i don't have that anymore & people are already using it as an excuse to be gross towards me.
i don't want to let this ruin my birthday and i don't think it will, but i'm still upset about it and i wish i hadn't made the askbox. i'm still a teenager & consider myself a kid, the last thing i wanted was to be treated like an adult (sexually) AND a piece of meat

Hi all!
We have a group of friends that game regularly. The Discord is filled with 30 people but i'd say around 8 of us game with eachother on the regular.
We use crossplay, some of us game on PS5 some on PC.
I am personally from the EU, but we have people from all over the world.
Currently we play Fortnite and Finals the most. Really hoping to find some people for that!!
We also play other games like COD, LoL, Foam Stars, Headbangers Rhytmn Royale, Overcooked AYCE, Minecraft, Minecraft dungeons and probably more.
Please be over 21+.
Also a heads-up. Our love language is banter!!! We throw shade left and right and once we get to know someone flaming them is a guarantee. We are all very supportive of eachother and it is all jokes but I can imagine not everyone wishes to deal with that.
Our humor is also pretty toxic and dark sometimes so please keep that in mind.
If you're interested comment or send me a message!

Hey everyone! I'm new here on Reddit, a 21 y/o male from the Philippines looking for also male friends! Ever need a dependable friend who can make you laugh yet can also be there for you during the tough shit? Me too! Let's be that for each other then!
Some things about me, I love PC gaming (so if u wanna play some time lmk!), a casual fan of F1, and starting to learn how to play tennis! Favorite music genre tends to be rock (especially punk rock, pop rock, pop punk) but I listen to anything! I also absolutely love bad jokes its unreal. Now I realize I'm not rly that interesting after all haha.
Feel free to send me a chat if you think we'll get along. I don't mind which timezone or country you're from! Just tell me your ASL because I wanna know who I am talking to. Would also be willing to voice chat down the line if we get along! See ya soon, friend!

TW: transphobia
Okay so right off the bat I am a cis male. I have a transgender girlfriend (I’ve made posts about us before) and I do my best to support her and the community when I can.
I’m working on a freelance project right now and the manager is a retired cop (that tells you everything you need to know, really) and he was talking about how his stepdaughter came out to him as trans and he said “my stepson comes up and he tells me “hey I want you to call me “she” now” and I’m just like…IM MOT CALLING YOU THAT!” and talked about how she found an online group of friends who “fuckin manipulated him into thinking he was a girl” and said a bunch of bullshit similar to that. When he was done I just looked up at him and without thinking said out loud “okay boomer” and kept doing what I was doing. A moment later I realized three people were looking at me like “holy shit did you just say that” and the manager was just kinda like “yeah whatever” and we moved on
I have ASD so sometimes my social barometer is broken and right now I could use some outside perspective on whether or not I made the right call. My girlfriend seemed REALLY happy and proud of me for doing this, but she can be a shit stirrer (as can I) so maybe she’s not the most diplomatic person to ask. There’s the matter of not wanting to get into any trouble with the manager, but something I struggle with is trying to understand when it’s my turn to talk as a cis male. I’m not trans so it’s not like I was directly being attacked by his bullshit rant, so maybe I shouldn’t have interfered on someone else’s behalf.
Any thoughts?

I’ve been a fan for 18 years. Yes, since 2006 when I saw the Emergency music video. A friend of mine asked for my top ten songs so she could listen to them as well and this was the hardest list I’ve ever made because I swear it changes with my mood but here’s my current mood of songs. What’s yours?
1.) Idle Worship
2.) Fake Happy
3.) Rose-Colored Boy
4.) Let the Flames Begin part 1 & 2 ( they go together as one)
5.) Fences
6.) Last Hope
7.) You First
8.) This is Why
9.) Ignorance
10.) Escape Route
—————
11.) My Heart

During the mid 90s, we lived in a townhouse in West Edmonton Village that was definitely haunted. My husband, young daughter and myself all had experiences during our 3 years there.
Our daughter, who was 9 or 10 at the time, would hear a little girl talking to her while she was alone in the basement sometimes...asking to play with her. She and her best friend once saw her doll swing move on its own down there. They came flying up the stairs, freaked right out. lol She also saw a man walking from our computer room past her bedroom door into the hallway when my husband wasn't home. We'd often wake up to find her sleeping beside our bed on the floor because she'd be awakened by kids laughing and talking in her room during the night.
My husband would often hear me calling for him only to realize that I was at the rec center swimming or at the gym with our daughter. His work things would be moved around on him all the time, too. To this day, he still refuses to believe in anything paranormal...until I remind him of that place, then he just changes the subject. LOL
A bunch of little things happened around me at first. I saw the phone cord swinging in the hallway a couple of times when I was the only one home and no windows were open. One time I went to the cornerstore across the street leaving the door unlocked because I couldn't find my keys only to come back to the door being locked. I had to go back to the store to call my husband to see if he could come home from work with the key. When I got back...the freaking door was mysteriously unlocked again!
The most terrifying thing, though, happened on a weekday morning when I was home alone and still reading in bed at about 9am. All of a sudden, I heard a young girl screaming, crying and banging on our front door. I freaked out, thinking it was our daughter, and ran down the stairs...taking two or more steps at a time. As soon as I unlocked the door and swung it open, the screaming stopped. There was no one there! I ran out into cul de sac and NOBODY was anywhere around the street! I sat on the front step until my adrenaline subsided wondering what the hell had just happened....I was so confused.
I was definitely happy when my husband was transferred out of town a few months later. We've had other paranormal occurences over the years, but nothing as crazy as when we lived there.

8 hours ago this evening, a month after his 12th birthday, we had to say our final goodbyes to my best friend. Everything happened so suddenly, a week ago he pretty much lost function of his legs over night, occasionally being able to walk if we helped him by holding him up and we didn’t know what was wrong with him. We brought him to the vet last week to do different tests and were supposed to get his results back later this week but then he stopped eating and couldn’t walk or stand at all. Last night was the worst for him so we made the decision to let him rest and end his suffering. I haven’t stopped crying for the past few days leading up to this knowing what was coming and have been crying even more all day today..it just hurts so much knowing I’ll never get to hold him in my arms again, he won’t be there to greet me at the door anymore and we won’t be able to do our favourite things together ever again. It hurts that during his last month on earth I wasn’t around much for him because I’ve had to move in with my grandparents to help my grandfather after my grandmother had a stroke and had only been able to spend a few hours each time with him. This just all feels so unreal like a horrible dream that I can’t escape. I’ve been carrying around his favourite blanket with me after I said goodbye it helps me feel closer to him somehow. I’m sorry this is so long I just have a lot on my mind right now I don’t know how to feel I’m just so sad. I wish I could’ve shared some of my years with him..maybe enough years to the point where we’d die together so I wouldn’t have to feel the pain I’m feeling right now. I just feel so lost and empty knowing he’s not here anymore.

Hi everyone. Today I got my first job after completing masters after numerous rejections, cold calls and mass applications. The whole process took me 8-9 months (I was doing part time job for first few months to pay for rent and food but later resigned to focus on interviews). I know I should be happy, right? But after all this time, all I have become is an empty shell of a human being.
I suffer from depression and ADHD(diagnosed a year back) and they had made my life miserable. The meds used to work but have stopped working since Jan 2024. I never made them an excuse to stop me from working even though towards end of the job hunt period, they heavily impacted my productivity and health. I have no support system, no friends. Family lives in another country and they have their own set of problems so I try not to bother them. As people are graduating, I see lot of folks at this time of year celebrating their graduation with friends, partners and family. I didn't go to mine because I didn't feel like going. I saw the photos of my peers who graduated alongside me. Even though most of them don't have a job but they all seem happy (and I am happy for them as well) and I..I just feel nothing for myself. I needed a job because of some financial issues my family and I are facing. But as a result, I have gained weight, the meds have led to terrible mood swings and affected my skin. I feel very awkward when I try to socialize as I haven't been to many social event during the job hunt phase. The job hunt has caused a serious burnout that I don't like looking my email account anymore. I got some good interviews at the end but I was so burned like toast and couldn't prepare at all that I failed most of them, repeating the cycle. Luckily,I got one offer after so much rejections.
Now it just dawned me as I was seeing others graduation pictures, I just cried and wished I could smile and be happy like them. I don't remember the last time I laughed or had a good time. Whenever I wake up, I hate looking myself in the mirror because I look so fucking ugly because of all the weight gain and side effects from my meds. I have endured enough pain from the start of my masters, mother having cancer (luckily treatable as of now) ,my partner of 3 years cheating on me and all this happened while I was moving to another country to start my masters. But I rebuilt myself after all this, worked out for 1.5 years straight, lost weight and gained muscle, improved my grades and heck, even dated for a while. On top of that, I even scored a job but unfortunately last October, my team was laid off so I had to begin looking for new options.
Now I am back to square one. Even I have job, I have nothing left inside of me. I feel like a dead person waking up just to complete my chores. I have made no friends or partners over the course of my education. Maybe I will get back on my feet in sometime but all this have started to make me believe that I am just a statistic in this world and it doesn't matter what I want or care about. There are loads like me, who come and go. I have tried enough to make friends or partners but haven't worked. I won't stop but over the time, it just have strengthened my belief that its okay that I will probably die alone. I don't care about anything anymore, have lost so much to let it all go. Probably I will start working on myself again and involve myself in hobbies and therapy but it won't eradicate the feeling of loneliness I have felt over the past years and bring some peace within me that's it alright to die alone. Maybe I will start something in future to help underprivileged children to get somewhere in life so they don't feel like me(not alone or left out). Anyways, I will try my best to stay positive and survive.
PS: Congratulations to all of you who graduated this spring and who also got a job. Those who are still doing job hunting, don't burnout and make sure you listen to your body. It's hard time but you don't have to make it hard for yourself and be with some friends who are in similar position like you as they will understand and help. Best of luck.

I'll try to keep it short, sorry if the grammar is bad, english isn't my native language, also I'm not in the USA
TL;DR at the end
Trigger warning : mental health issue
Some important background; I am autistic, and I can't work since I am not a "high functionning" one, it was my doctor, psychiatrist and the ASD clinic's lady that told me that, so it's not something that I just "use". I also have a weird thing, didn't really understand when my psychiatrist told me about it, it's like an "autistic depression", I'm not depressed, but if I am under too much stress/pressure or that I don't have any energy left, I get severe depression symptom, the type that get you in the hospital for 72h. Also got some severe, severe anxiety
Sorry for that, it was pretty long. To explain the situation, I moved in with my boyfriend in February, we got an appartement together. I receive some fund from the government every month because I am disabled, but because of some reason(under 24, the salary of my parents), I get almost nothing and everything that I get goes straight to my boyfriend for the bills.
Recently our relationship got pretty rocky in a really bad way, he did bad things. If things doesn't get better I will leave him at the end of the lease. Because of many of those things, I have become really tired(can't sleep when he's here), I almost eat nothing and does my best to do chores(housework and his lunch) but have some difficulty.
The thing is.. His brother. I kind of like him, he's nice but sometime he says comments that are kind of insensitive. His brothers doesn't know how my boyfriend acts with me. He also doesn't know that I feel bad about the fact that I can't function like a normal person.
Things he told me/about me or just stuff that is kind of mean, with context if necessary :

• That I should be grateful that my boyfriend make me lives "for free"(context: we were talking about how much I receive from disability and how my parents gives us foods for free)
• That every woman with mental health issue are name calling and you should avoid them at all cost
• That I could've done more chores that day(context: I almost needed to get to the hospital that day because I was reaching my limit, the chores in question was just the garbage and some forks that I intended to do after sleeping)
• That I'm lazy since I don't work(context : he was talking to my boyfriend about how he(BIL) could work so I am lazy)
• That I use my mental health issue as an excuse for everything (context: Couldn't go to funeral of his familly member, bf actually asked me to not go)

I won't say everything but that's the type of stuff he says, an important detail is that he have schizophrenia. I know it's hard and is different on everyone but.. I feel it shouldn't be an excuse for him to say mean thing? He is under medication, and my boyfriend says that he is in a good state..
But what bugs me is, my boyfriend doesn't say anything about how his brother talks about me, he doesn't tell him the reason why I did or didn't do something, he just let him say whatever he wants..
Today, I was so fricking proud, I took a shower, brushed my teeth, cooked his meal, washed the majority of the dishes.. I texted my bf about it and he was happy and proud, I didn't feel well these last day because something happened so for me it was a big achievement. His brother came tonight, I was in the bedroom because I wanted to rest.
"She should have done all the dishes, she just have that to do" is what he said.
That thing broke my confidence and efforts. Everything that I was proud of just vanished. Bf didn't say anything.
I cried, I told my bf later that night that I was tired of always hearing comments that hurt me. It's not the first time that I talked about his comments to my boyfriend, but everytime he just say "he has schizophrenia, just let him be, ignore him"
I don't know what to do, should I just leave earlier? It really doesn't help constantly hearing that stuff, it makes it harder to be productive.
What should I do? Is the relationship worth saving? My bf is my only friend and I'm scared of making the wrong choice, I'm confused about everything
TL;DR : BF just tells me to ignore what his brother says because he have schizophrenia, he says stuff like I'm lazy for not working but I can't work because of my autism

There is more to it than the title. I was engaged to be married to a woman I was with for almost four years. In our last year together, she pretty much treated me like a ghost, ignoring messages, not wanting to go on dates, and the last straw was blocking me on social media. I did everything to keep the relationship alive, working long hours, going to visit her in her city every month, trying to talk to her, but she kept pushing me away. Eventually our last conversation was over the phone, at night, and her last words to me were "I don't love you now," "I am seeing someone else," and "I need you to back off." This was after Valentine’s Day, after a hard day of work, after I sent her a valentine gift. I was devastated and pretty much cursed out God, blamed the world, blamed myself for the relationship ending after I did everything I could to keep it. To this day I have doubt I am worthy to be a child of God, that I failed my family, I failed myself, and I failed at life. I was severely depressed for a long time. I am still depressed, but I have a better handle on it now.
A few months after the relationship ended, I have mixed feelings of love and hate towards my ex. I cannot forgive her, no matter how hard I tried. I have tried deeply and daily to forgive her, but I do not believe I can. I have not spoken to her since Feb 2023. I have blocked her on all social media. The only way she can contact me is by email, letter, or by going to my parents’ home. I have already told myself, if she ever wants to talk to me, it must be in person, no other way. I will not talk to people solely through social media anymore, it must be face to face or on an actual voice call (no voice messages) if we live in the same city.
In June 2023, I move to China and am working as an English teacher. I wanted to get far away from the past and I did. My family are supportive of my decision.
In July 2023, I met this sweet and intelligent woman through a language exchange app. We simply wanted to help each other practice English, Spanish, and Chinese. After a week or so she asked to have dinner with me as friends and I thought nothing of it. I was still recovering from the last relationship and wanted nothing to do with a new one. She chose a cool restaurant, had a bar, Mexican food, and great drinks. I expected the meetup to be about 30 minutes. It ended up being 3 hours. We had no idea that time flew quickly. The conversation we had was fun. The day we had dinner was the last day I was staying in her city, I had to move to another Chinese city in China for work. I never stopped thinking about her.
Few months pass by and its December 2023. I told myself “Screw it." I went online and ordered a bouquet of flowers to be delivered to her home. Once the order was made, I thought nothing of it and continued my routines for the next few days. The flowers were going to be delivered on Christmas. Christmas is not a big holiday in China. I got anxious as the day got closer. I thought “what am I doing? I only met her once in person, we are language partners, I live in a different city, she and I are full time workers… blah blah blah.” At this point there was nothing I could do; I could not cancel the order. Christmas day comes, its dinner time, I am chilling with other foreigners, and I got a notification from the woman saying, “thank you for the flowers, they are beautiful.” I asked if we could chat, and she said of course. I do not know what came over me, I was scared but I wanted to be honest with her.
She told me “This is not a gift for a friend.” I responded in honesty “I have been thinking about you since the night we had dinner and I want to know if you could give me the chance to impress you and become your partner.” She said, “I had been waiting for you to do that, I do not know if it is romantic, but I do like you and would like to know you more.” This was a great feeling. I was happy and thankful. I thanked God and myself for doing it.
We met up a few weeks ago in her city and we had a wonderful dinner, we spent the entire day together, talking, walking, exchanging ideas, enjoying each other’s company. We even challenged each other to be healthier. Next time I see her, I must do 30 pushups and she has to do 1 pushup (not fair, but if I win, she has to ride a bike with me around a park). We have given each other cute nicknames; she calls me “Winnie the Pooh” and I call her “Honey.” She asked me why I call her “Honey” and I told her because, “Winnie the Pooh likes Honey.”
We kept our language exchange schedule, and we understand that we are both busy with work and taking this relationship slow is good for us. She has told me multiple times that she wants me in her city. Whether she wants me or not, I have always planned to go back to that city. The weather is nice, there are more things to do, it’s closer to other major cities.
There are so many times I want to talk to her, but the fear and past experiences shake me to the core. I TRULY want to talk to her, about anything. Hearing and listening to her speak about her passions and hobbies is joyous to me. We always exchange ideas in our weekly exchanges. I do not want to say, “I love her,” I am too scared to say that. However, I want her as my girlfriend. I just do not know what to do to overcome this fear and progress our relationship further.
Note: If anyone is wondering, yes, she is Chinese. I am American but my appearance is Hispanic.

Hi, I (Lily, 4f, half terrier half corgi) live with my two best friends (30s, M+F).
I used to live with very mean people who hurt me, so while I like spending time with my friends, I also very much enjoy my alone time. In fact, it stresses me out when my friends are home too much. So when my friends leave for a bit, I'm usually happy. Later when they come home after a while, I'll be also happy and say hello. However, sometimes they come back too soon and then I might be grumpy, because they disturbed my alone time. Yesterday M had a man over and they left, which made me happy (partially because all men except M are bad and scary). However, after a few moments they came back inside! I was very grumpy and did not say hello to them, which made the man say I am weird doggo, because doggos always happy and say hello when people come home! I'm not weird though, I just like my alone time! M told man he doesn't understand doggos like me and I agree. Do you think I'm weird for not being happy when people come home early?

I’m hoping some others have been through what I’m about to describe and can offer some advice.
I feel like most of my life is spent chasing short term happiness in different forms: 1. Validation from compliments 2. The thrill of acceptance from men 3. Casual sex 4. Food
I’ve been on Grindr, tinder, hinge et al. intermittently for 2 years now. It scares me how addictive they are.
I guess what I’m wondering is why I spend all this time looking for a fix of happiness. I’ve got an amazing family, caring friends, and such fulfillment in work.
But when I come home at the end of the day it’s a constant battle with my impulses to use external sources to feel happy. It leads to horrible cycles of binging & losing weight, low motivation, poor sleep schedule, sickness.
The worst part is that I can get away with it. My GPA is fine. My family life is fine. I’ve gotten all my goals except fitness (recall: binge cycles) done and in many cases surpassed.
Why am I constantly chasing thrills to feel good, and how do I break the cycle?
Thanks.

So I started dating my first love it’s gonna be 2 years in 3 months and I stuck on the past nd look at our memories and we started dating when I was in a fucked up space toxic rude asfc and he still wanted to be Wimmie nd I ended up breaking up with him Bcs I was going thru shii and my brother I grew up with moved far away from me nd he was all I had and I told him I can’t be with him nd I ran away from home buh he was hurt thay we broke up and I didn’t feel nothing not even bothered that he was hurt I was so nonchalant we got into a big argument 3 months later after the break up it was nasty a lot of hurtful stuff was said from both sides expect I did him worse nd hit under the belt and he had unfollowed me and months went by I gotten to grow as a person I changed a lot to the point were my frens always bring up how much I changed he seemed fined nd moved on around his birthday I got sad nd started to realize the way I treated was bad and shii and I regret it nd I needed the right closure form him I felt hurt and I felt like I got a delayed heartbreak I texted him hoping I could get the closure or even get back with him and how Munich I changed nd he didn’t wanna accept I changed he made me feel like shii he was saying how much he better with out me and he gots to be on drugs or fucked up in the head to get back with. Me and that he doing so much better nd he don’t wanna relive our memories and I was such a bad person and it was a mistake for us to get together nd that he should of believed his frens and how he met more guys that make him happy I was a bad person all I responed with ok I’m sorry das all I could say I’m sorry and I said I’m happy for you and proud your making a better life for yourself and shii nd he was a dick to me when I told him that ive grown and he told me hurtful stuff and i changed to a beautiful person and I wish I could love him again I later found out he got with one of my ex frens and not to mention I got on medication cus I didn’t wnana get off bed cus I rlly believed I was a bad person and I felt guilty and I would cry felt like shii I didn’t even eat buh I don’t mean to play victim cus I did treat him like shii when I was in a bad space I wished him nothing but the best in life and I look back at our pictures and I miss him and I start to cry cus I rlly fumbled a guy who was trying to give me the world while mine was falling my apart and I wish I could js get the proper closure from him buh he don’t wanna ever see nd tells me to move on

Hi relationship_advice,
Some key points before you read; I moved to Orlando, FL from Washington state in February of 2023. It was closer to family and I had a lot of friends here. I truly love it here. I’m convinced there is something mentally not-okay with my mother and we’ve had a hot/cold relationship for years. My dad divorced her and got re-married to her and these days just puts up with it. We used to have a significantly better relationship but this has frankly tarnished all of that and he just puts up with it. My parents are real-estate investors in the Orlando area and generally buy some of terrible homes in even worse areas and somehow find renters. They act like they’re mansions but they truly are terrible. I’m 28 years old.
When I initially moved here, I got my own apartment in a great suburb of Orlando. My parents helped me move and were really excited for me to get back on this coast. At some point during my residency, my parents brought up a notion to attempt to “help” me by buying me a house. My credit is shot and there is no way I qualify for a conventional mortgage. Maybe before the big short but certainly not in today’s housing climate. I didn’t actively reach out to them for this sort of assistance but I toyed with the idea.
Given the fact that they are real-estate investors, their interest rate was going to be somewhere in the realm of 7%. That left me with a max value of about a $400,000 house in order to be comfortable with the payment. Daily my mom would send me listings to some of the shittiest homes I’ve ever seen and get upset when I say I don’t like it. That would generally be when I would cut off the conversation after I’m told I’m “ungrateful”. Mind you they haven’t even done anything yet.
Months pass and I find a decent townhome in a location that I’ve always wanted to live in. It’s a townhome that has 2beds, 2baths and was about $380K. In an effort to make my parents happy and not be so “ungrateful” I agreed that they can put an offer on it. Mind you this house is one that I would likely never buy with my own money, but given the interest rate I sort of had to stick with it.
The agreement was that they would put down $100K for the house, I pay the full escrow (mortgage payment, PMI, taxes and HOA dues) and, when it comes time to sell, I would get every dollar above the selling price. It was an enticing deal to get some equity that I otherwise wouldn’t get living in an apartment complex. This was all something that was verbally discussed and I can’t find any physical copy of this being said either over text or another medium.
I broke my least and move in came in October of 2023 which also happened to be when I met my beautiful and loving girlfriend who I am extremely happy with. My parents came over in December for Christmas and I actually had my girlfriend stay in my house while my parents were in town so we can all do stuff together. I thought it went well. My parents met her family, my friends and we generally had a great time.
That apparently wasn’t their idea of the week and they are super upset that my girlfriend basically lives here. Text exchanges with my mother generally result in me being called a disgrace, ungrateful, disrespectful, etc.
At the end of the day this is all stemming from the fact that I got a girlfriend, they apparently don’t like her, are losing control of me and now we’re both suffering navigating business and family. It’s taking a huge toll on me to the point where I woke up today and cried after receiving another demeaning text from my mother. That same person they hate was there to comfort me.
How should I navigate this? Every time I try to talk about it it just turns into an attack where she says some terrible things about me and my partner. Is it healthier for me to just cut ties? I’m at a loss. Being worried about my living situation everyday is really taking a toll at this point and I don’t have it in me to start another argument. Almost daily now I get random texts at random hours of the day with her picking a fight. There is no clear path to a cordial conversation.
Your guidance is appreciated.

I (M28) moved in with a couple that are a friend of a friend type deal. They (M28 and F27) own a home together and have 2 other housemates living with them. We are all working professionals. Upon moving in, the dynamic was great. I'm always at work or gone from the home so I rarely interacted with them, rent is always 2 weeks early, I keep the place clean, I don't bring guests over. Additionally, they have 3 cats from the couple and 2 cats from one of the other housemates. I play with the cats and will sometimes clean their kitty litter area if it gets too messy, I don't expect anything out of it I just genuinely like their cats.
When I moved in, part of my lease agreement stated that I could have a dog. Prior to signing the lease and prior to moving in I had voiced that I intended to get to get a dog. Several months later I was out and about and saw some puppies, I went up to view them and one of them was crying and then crawled on me. I picked the puppy up, it stopped crying then peed on me.. I immediately knew that was my dog. I'm not one to get emotional and act on impulse but I knew that was my dog.
I called up my housemates (the owners) and told them that I will likely get a dog by the end of the weekend. I texted so that I could have it in writing that I was going to get a puppy, the puppy was to stay in my room away from the stay in my room to quarantine just in case it was sick. I am going to come home every day for lunch to feed the puppy, play with him, feed him etc. Additionally, I was going to limit the amount of hours I worked to put a lot of time into my pup. I also stated that if it didn't work out, it would hurt my soul but, I could easily re-home my pup and have him stay with my mom.
I f*cked up and ended up getting the dog that day but several hours later, making sure my mom was okay with possibly taking the dog if it didn't work out. I got my dog on a Saturday and that day I bought all his necessities, including a travel bag/crate to put him in so that I could keep him off the ground just in case he was sick with something and I didn't know.
That Sunday, he stayed in my room, and I quarantined myself in there as a precaution. I made an appointment with a Vet for Monday (2 days after I had got him). I took half the day off of work so that I could take him. I spent a LOT of money to get him evaluated and tested for possible transmissible diseases that could get the cats sick. I asked the vet all the right questions in terms of the do's and don'ts about puppy health. Specifically asked, "can my dog get the cats sick?" The Vet said "not unless my dog is sick and the cats get around him or specifically his poo." I followed up with, "Can the cats get my dog sick?" He said, "not unless the puppy is in direct contact with the cat's feces." I continued to quarantine my pup, got him some artificial turf, began to crate train and potty train immediately. I got his results quick, by Wednesday... he came back with a clean bill of health and had an appointment that following Saturday for his first dose of distemper (parvo vaccine). He got his first parvo vaccine and was given his first dose of topical anti-flea medicine. During this visit, I asked the vet two questions 1) Can I start taking my dog out in my backyard to potty train him? 2) Will my dog get the cats sick? Answer: 1) So long as you know that no other dogs have been back there to pee/poo and he's not in direct contact with pee/poo. 2) No, especially now that we know that he is not a carrier of anything.
At this point, in order to potty train my dog, when I catch him squatting in my room, I'm picking him up and taking him to the door, having him ring (touch a bell thing), and taking him to a specific spot in the back yard. When he's done, I carry him back in or stay outside with him to play a little since we're confined to only being in my room and the backyard. After which, I carry him and bring him back in. I'm kind of in my own world as I am really happy but I begin to notice that the owners are being passive aggressive, they aren't asking about the puppy or how he's doing or even saying "hi" to me... hell .. they haven't even made an attempt to meet him. It didn't hit me until I asked one of them if they wanted to meet the puppy and they responded with "nah, I'm good. I'm okay." I was immediately thrown back thinking to myself "who doesn't want to meet a puppy?"
I came home from work one day, put the puppy in his case and took him out to play/poo/pee. I brought him back in and I finally heard the business. The girlfriend was pissed to the point where you can hear that she wanted to cry (that cracked voice sound). "I can't believe you did this, it was impulsive. You got the dog without even asking us. He can get our cats sick. He can bring in fleas, we're very serious about fleas. You did not discuss this with us. We had a similar situation with our last roommate that didn't take care of his cat and neglected it." It went on and on and on. I calmly responded with, "Please do not equate me with another individual. I took my dog to the vet not even 2 days after I got him, since then he's been in my room and in my room only. He already has one of his shots, is on anti flea meds, gets his second dose April 20th and third May 18th." She emotionally goes on and on and effectively makes it sound like I'm incompetent... I'm an electrical engineer... I'm not stupid by any means. I got her questions answered but she still requested that I carry him in his case despite already establishing that he cannot get the cats sick, whatever, I'm still honoring that request.
We are all talking normal again but still, they have not made an attempt to meet the puppy nor ask about my puppy. They just see me taking him out to the backyard or leaving with him. The only puppy related thing they asked is that I spray water over where he pees in the backyard because it can kill the grill. My puppy is 4 - 5 lbs at 10 weeks old, he pees milliliters, we have san augustine grass, this grass is literally unkillable short of not watering it (this request I do not honor as I just found it completely irrational, when he gets bigger... sure.. right now though?).
I feel like I'm walking on egg shells here. I want to move but this place is 25 minutes (without traffic) from my job and is affordable. I have three options 1) Move out further from work and get my own place. 2) Move back in with my mom who lives 55 miles away from my job. 3) Re-home my dog. First two options mean that I will not be able to go home for lunch to take my dog out to pee/poo and play/eat. Third option, is the nuclear one and I don't want to touch it.
I don't know how to go about this, I know I jacked up by impulsively getting the dog but he's here and I'm making it work but at the same time feel like I'm keeping him prisoner in my room.
My housemates are cool, they're well educated and nice people but man, they are passive aggressive as heck. It kills me that they won't even acknowledge my puppy, he's done nothing wrong. I kills me more because he loves people and gets excited to meet new people. When I'm gone at work, he does not cry, bark, etc. He's just chill'n with his music (low volume), chewing on his toys, searching for snacks that I've hid in his play area, sleeping or waiting for me. My housemates legit do not have to do anything, I have not asked anything of them and it kills me that they won't even acknowledge him.
How do I go about this?
tldr: I got a puppy, am a responsible owner but owners are being weird about me having a dog despite it being okay on lease. I don't want to move due to proximity to work.