I (F) love my current boyfriend, we have been dating for about 6-7 months. Earlier in our relationship we made plans for our future, but over time, I don't think we'll be able to meet those plans. And I've seen some guys that I think would be a better "fit" for me. I’m gonna do a "Reasons" list, Imk what you think. • Also he's not funny, and humor is a #1 priority for me 1. He doesn't speak English as a first language: It can be quite difficult for me to communicate with him due to his kind of poor English, and his family doesn't speak English at all. I don't think our families would communicate well. He also has trouble understanding my point in things 2. He's made the same mistakes over and over again: If he knows I won't like something, he does it, then tells me LATER, either if I found out or he accidentally tells me. An example is when I first met him he said that I was the first girl he's ever truly loved, and that he didn't LOVE anyone before me. Then 6 months later, recently, I saw his old messages with a friend from a few months before we started dating and basically, he said that he was in love with a girl, wanted her "so bad", wanted her to "be his so bad" and said he got teary eyed when his friend gave him advice for her. This REALLY hurt my feelings, as he lied to me and hid that from me for however long. So yeah there's that. And there's also other things. He just apologizes, says he'll fix it, but then doesn't. 3. I honestly don't find him that attractive: I know this sounds mean, but honestly... I've lost my attraction for him. He's just not my type 4. We have an age gap: It's not big, but at our ages it IS a big deal. I really don't think it would work out 5. I have my eyes on another guy. I've been considering breaking up with him for a while. And for the past week l've talked to this guy (in class only), he's funny, cute, smart, tall, and we have a similar childhood & background & our families speak the same language so there's no language barrier. I have imagined being with him instead and it makes me feel so guilty. 6. I really don't think it would work out. Not in really any aspect. Our families don't speak the same language, we come from different backgrounds (saying it may be harder for our families to bond and "understand" each other), I'm not that attracted to him, our age gap, and everything else mentioned above including other unmentioned things. Why I don't wanna break up with him: He is really sweet. I can see he WANTS to be the best boyfriend for me, but he just can't. He loves me a lot and cries a lot abt me when we argue or etc. I care abt him and don't wanna hurt him. He does try his best, and he still does make me happy sometimes, but he makes me sad too. Sorry for talking so much, it's just a big topic for me. I really do want to break up. I just don't wanna hurt him or regret it. Please Imk your thoughts asap.

This is a continuation and the conclusion to the following posts:
Post 1
Post 2
Post 3
Context: I matched with a girl who was sending all her matches the very save messages (long paragraphs while calling them "sweets"). I felt something was fishy so I turned to reddit and made Post 2 which went viral. I got contacted by guys claiming to be in a relationship with her.
What was happening?
---- Listen to one of her bf's words: ----
"She was telling half the dudes she loves them, some she was committed to them, some she was inviting over cough cough.
Using all of them for free Swiggy and games and gifts and shit that would be cool.
Because the Reddit post(post 2 and post 3) kind of is spreading around her friend circle right now and the defence now is that it was just texting and wasn't serious.
Couple of her exes reached out to me and told it was the same shit, they broke up because she was cheating.
Girl is ruining lives fr and that too across three cities Bangalore/Chennai/Jaipur"
---- Another one of her BF said: ----
I have officially broken up with her, she begged for half an hour for another chance and that too lies after lies.
bhai, thank you very much, tu Delhi ya Chennai aaye kabhi bataiyo, party karte hai. (He's very happy that I made the post and saved him from further shit show)
Conclusion:
All the boyfriends involved have broken up with her, atleast all that are aware of this activities.
To the girl, please seek professional help. What you did probably scarred many people and their hopes and created trust issues in them that will probably last forever. It is not right to play with people's lives and feelings for your own good. The past is the past, please do better, reach out to your loved ones for help.
I'll not be making any further post on this matter. Captian Doddle signing off y'all.

I (F) love my current boyfriend, we have been dating for about 6-7 months. Earlier in our relationship we made plans for our future, but over time, I don't think we'll be able to meet those plans. And I've seen some guys that I think would be a better "fit" for me. I’m gonna do a "Reasons" list, Imk what you think. • Also he's not funny, and humor is a #1 priority for me 1. He doesn't speak English as a first language: It can be quite difficult for me to communicate with him due to his kind of poor English, and his family doesn't speak English at all. I don't think our families would communicate well. He also has trouble understanding my point in things 2. He's made the same mistakes over and over again: If he knows I won't like something, he does it, then tells me LATER, either if I found out or he accidentally tells me. An example is when I first met him he said that I was the first girl he's ever truly loved, and that he didn't LOVE anyone before me. Then 6 months later, recently, I saw his old messages with a friend from a few months before we started dating and basically, he said that he was in love with a girl, wanted her "so bad", wanted her to "be his so bad" and said he got teary eyed when his friend gave him advice for her. This REALLY hurt my feelings, as he lied to me and hid that from me for however long. So yeah there's that. And there's also other things. He just apologizes, says he'll fix it, but then doesn't. 3. I honestly don't find him that attractive: I know this sounds mean, but honestly... I've lost my attraction for him. He's just not my type 4. We have an age gap: It's not big, but at our ages it IS a big deal. I really don't think it would work out 5. I have my eyes on another guy. I've been considering breaking up with him for a while. And for the past week l've talked to this guy (in class only), he's funny, cute, smart, tall, and we have a similar childhood & background & our families speak the same language so there's no language barrier. I have imagined being with him instead and it makes me feel so guilty. 6. I really don't think it would work out. Not in really any aspect. Our families don't speak the same language, we come from different backgrounds (saying it may be harder for our families to bond and "understand" each other), I'm not that attracted to him, our age gap, and everything else mentioned above including other unmentioned things. Why I don't wanna break up with him: He is really sweet. I can see he WANTS to be the best boyfriend for me, but he just can't. He loves me a lot and cries a lot abt me when we argue or etc. I care abt him and don't wanna hurt him. He does try his best, and he still does make me happy sometimes, but he makes me sad too. Sorry for talking so much, it's just a big topic for me. I really do want to break up. I just don't wanna hurt him or regret it. Please Imk your thoughts asap.

I'm(M24) starting to distance myself from my friend, I'll refer her to S(F22). S and I have been friends since highschool, we would occasionally hangout. Nothing to it we were just kids then.
Now before S, I had another friend, I'll refer to M(F24). She was fantastic, we spent every night and day talking. I never really thought of her of anything else but just my friend, but one day she leans on me and kissed me, very intimate, very attractive. Long story short. Time went by I confessed my feelings for her thinking she had the same. I had to be her crying shoulder for every break up, every new man. Like a drug I confessed again, but this time she had a boyfriend for 4 months that I never about. For me that was heartbreaking and my attachment was severe. Nowadays I don't even engage with her and I think she started to notice because stopped texting her first...because I finally healed, I finally let go of someone who wanted me as a therapist.
Now with S. I had lost my job, had to leave school in San Francisco and move back to Los Angeles with my mom. S took me places, expensive restaurants, bars, and hangouts. I never had that from a girl before. She paid for everything because I was broke, it felt nice, but wrong too. But I knew we were just old highschool friends and it was just a meet up. But one night mannn, that night she let me hold her at a club while her favorite music was on, again I didn't think too much of it, it was her night and she wanted to feel something.
A couple days ago she went clubbing with some friends, I didnt care what she did because she would tell me the night of or even the next day on discord playing Minecraft. But this time she said she made out of a guy and I'm telling you, I felt the same thing with M. I was attached. We did same things like with M, but S gave more effort. So I started distancing myself, trying not to reply too fast or text first. I think she's starting to catch on I don't know.
So what if I'm scared of confession. I have fear I know that. I want to communicate but I don't want to. At the end I think to myself "just stay friends, just stay friends". But I yearn for the things she could give me.
Thank you for reading, if you actually did, if not it's cool. I just needed to type it out and finally go to sleep. I'll read your comments, but I don't know if I'll reply.

So I (15 f) have a friend(15 f) let's call her lily. Lily and I have been friends for about a year and a half but I still regard her as one of my closest friends. For a big of context, lily has gotten 2 boyfriends in the past term (lets call the first one ben and the second one james), and then recently a boy who likes her came into the picture (lets call him dave).
So, the story starts with lily texting me last night saying this "(my name) I’m not trying to start anything even though I don’t like (the boy that likes her) it’s still annoying that you add every guy I talk too so can you stop doing that please I’m not mad or anything but it js pisses me off a bit sorry". So, basically she's mad at me because I added her boyfriends and a guy who liked her on snapchat(the guy who liked her added me first).
I didn't add them because I liked them or anything of the sort, I added them because I like to have lots of friends on snapchat. That's all
In hindsight, when replying to this I was quite defensive, which I regret, but still didn't understand how i was in the wrong. Later, I texted her saying this "Hey lily, I wanted to talk about what happened with adding the people you're talking to on snapchat. I genuinely want to understand how you're feeling about it. Can we have a chat about it?", she then replied yes.
After some thought as to what I would say, I asked her how it made me feel when I added the boys she was talking to. She then said it was weird that I felt the need to add them and talk to them (I barely talked to them) and that it pissed her off. I then gave my reasons as to why I added them and apologized if I made her feel some type of way.
I was ready to leave it in the past, however, I'm an overthinker and I feel that I can't just forgive and forget. I don't add them because I like them or anything, I just add them to add them. I also want to know if she's going through anything right now because the original message was out of the blue. am I the asshole?

Hey Reddit
I (28M) recently asked my Friend's ex (25F) out on a date.
For Context, I first met her when they were dating and we hit it off pretty well. She bought me an Easter Egg at Easter time, we would hang out when he was working. We had a lot in common and overall got along very well.
When they broke up, he was pretty upset about it and I decided, out of respect, I wouldn't remain in contact with her.
Fast forward a couple on months. I was talking with a girl we both knew and we were getting a long great. I spoke with my friend (lets call him Tom) and told him that I was thinking about asking her out.
The following weekend, he tells me he has a date today with a really cute girl. I said "that's great man" as I was happy he was finally moving on.
I work at the local beach bar as their main bartender, I'm always on the bar and work pretty much every day of the week, especially weekends.
Whilst at work that day, I see Tom come in with the girl I had been talking with the past couple of weeks. To say that both myself and her were awkward was an understatement, you could cut the tension with a knife. I pulled myself together, got my head back in the room and played dumb. "Hey guys! I didn't know you were coming down today? Grab a seat I'll bring your drinks over". I was so pisssed.
Not only does he take the girl I like on a date, but he does it at my workplace. Dick move!
This is where I maybe the asshole. Immediately when I clocked off at around 6.30pm, I messaged his ex. "Hey, it's been a while. I was wondering if maybe you would like to go out for dinner with me sometime, you know on a date?"
she text back pretty fast and said "sure, I always thought you were a really nice guy"
We arranged a time that suited us both and it's all set.
Cue the part where I maybe the asshole. I told him yesterday that I have a date this Friday with a cute girl who I really like. Tom asked "oh really? who? you got any pictures?"
Me: Oh I think you know her pretty well (shows him texts from his exes number
He was so mad, he didn't say a word grabbed his coat and walked out.
We live together, but he never comes in my room. We've seen each other today and everything seems cool, but I feel a little smug for my very petty revenge.
So I guess what I'm asking is AITA for asking his ex out on a date?

Hey there,
I hope you're all doing well. I'm reaching out for some advice and support, particularly from fellow females, regarding a challenging situation in my relationship.
My boyfriend and I are both in our early twenties, and we've been together for almost a year now. Our relationship has always been incredibly special to me - we've built a strong foundation of trust, communication, and love. We've always been there for each other, respecting boundaries and caring deeply about one another's well-being.
Recently, a month ago, my boyfriend's mom passed away, leaving him with the profound loss of both his parents. It's been an incredibly tough time for him, and understandably, he's been struggling. I've been doing everything I can to support him through this heartbreaking time. Whether it's suggesting outings with his friends to distract him, or taking him out, cooking his favorite meals, or just being there to listen when he needs to talk, I've been trying my best to ensure he feels loved and cared for. Additionally, we both have similar work, so I help him out with his work stuff so he could slack off and do other things he likes doing, like playing video games.
However, amidst all of this, I've found myself feeling a bit forgotten. Our time together has decreased significantly, and the energy and passion in our conversations seem to have shifted. I understand that grief can be all-consuming, and I empathize with the immense pain he's going through. But despite knowing all of this logically, I can't shake this feeling of loneliness and disconnect.
It's not that I doubt his love for me - he's reassured me countless times that he loves me just as much as he always has. But it's hard not to feel like I'm drifting away from him, like I'm somehow slipping through the cracks of his grief. I miss the closeness we used to share, and it's been weighing heavily on my heart.
I'll give you an example. We don't live together, so whenever we meet, on our way back, he'd text me a lot of cute stuff, including how pretty I looked and how lucky he is to have me, and just stuff like that. And he has stopped doing that, and my mind can't help but overthink that something's wrong with our relationship or that he doesn't love me anymore.
To add to this, a recent incident really threw me off. My boyfriend cracked a joke, and I told him it was uncool and made me feel weird. He got mad at me and said he'd stop cracking jokes altogether. I feel like I can't say anything or do anything without walking on eggshells. We used to communicate openly about things, even the little stuff, and about my mental health. But now, he just makes me feel bad for expressing my emotions, and I can't help but feel like he resents me.
I want to support him through this challenging time, but I also don't want to neglect my own emotional needs in the process. I'm struggling to find the balance between being there for him and taking care of myself, and I'm not sure how to navigate this delicate situation without adding more stress to his already heavy load.
If any of you have been through similar experiences or have any advice on how to cope with these feelings of loneliness, disconnect, and walking on eggshells while supporting a grieving partner, I would deeply appreciate your insights.
Thank you all for taking the time to read this and for any support or guidance you can offer.

hey-- so i've been agoraphobic since late september (2023). it started one day because i almost passed out at school, and then my anxiety got worse and worse about passing out and i couldn't go to school in person anymore. i've gradually been trying to get out more and more, and i'm on medication for my anxiety now, which helps a little, but it's still not perfect. my older sister and i are really close, and she's been trying to encourage me to get out, and she bought concert tickets for both of us to go see avril lavigne live in about a week, even after i told her i didn't think it would be good for me to go. she says i have to go, and i know it would be good for me, but i just can't help but think, "what if i get anxious, and something goes wrong?" before i developed my agoraphobia, i loved going to concerts, and i actually had been to one just about a month before it all started. i've loved avril lavigne since middle school, too, and so i know it would make me so happy to see her live. the venue is also outdoors, and fresh air always helps me when i'm feeling anxious, so it shouldn't be too bad. i made a list of good things about it to help me focus on the positives. even though i'm trying to be positive about it though i'm still extremely terrified. i refused to go to a play one of my best friends was in just a few days ago because i was horrified of the idea of it. how am i supposed to go to a giant concert venue for hours if the idea of being in a high school auditorium for an hour terrifies me? i just need reassurance. this is the list of positives i wrote:

• it's avril lavigne
• she's playing music from her old albums (i love)
• excuse to wear a cute outfit
• might be cool people there
• probably mostly girls there (i feel more comfortable because of past experiences)
• it's at nighttime (i feel safer during night)
• it's outside
• fresh air
• it has nice bathrooms
• i'll get to hear some of my favorite songs live
• might be other alternative people
• it's close to home
• i'll be with my sister
• bonding moment for me and sis
• i can get up and sit outside venue if needed
• i get to brag i saw avril live
• it'll help me feel more confident for being places for long periods of time
• i can text my boyfriend (source of support)
• can take ibuprofen if i get a headache
• i can scream the lyrics and not be judged
• i'll get good videos
• memories
• no more fear of missing out
• i can sit down
• it'll be dark
• i can get earplugs if needed
• all time low is also playing (i love them as well)
• it won't be too hot out that day
• it's at 7pm, not early in the day (i have a hard time getting going early in the day)

Oh how sad I am. I've been planning this escape for years. And now that I'm finally here, with one more night on my... not-really-a-bed, just a... mat-on-the-floor with blanket and pillows...
I sob. Sob and cry and wonder why I feel all this pain. I'm the one who wanted to escape. To live my life to the fullest. To do all the things I love. To draw and sing, to wear my hair down and bake, to make friends and wear cute dresses, to have cats and be with the man I love and oh gosh how lucky I am that he loves me dearly and wants the best for me. He and his mum supported me so so much. My friend too. They are my chosen family.
But... why am I feeling so horribly sad...? Its because I'll never see my parents or siblings again. I feel so bad for my mum because she allows people to use her and by that I mean she does everything for my grown ass siblings. And my extended family all use her a lot too.
About my mum.
Sadly, shes religious. Prays constantly. Always telling us to pray. Donates money to needy. Forced me to pay zakkah. Buys counters to constantly recite, it's like digital tasbeehs and stuff to use wherever without looking or counting. You just press and then you get your number on a screen. She takes care of her mum sometimes. Often cooks for her. She often watches her sisters kids because her sister, my aunt... is ever so social and kinda just expects my mum to baby sit them. My mum cooks almost every day. Usually every other day because my dad refuses to eat old food. And when I say cook I dont mean something easy like whip up a pasta. I mean dishes that take at least more than 2 hours to cook. Mind you though, hes a chef and does cook sometimes in the house. But since he works he expects mum to cook and honestly if I were a man, I'd want that too. To come home from work to good food. Anyway...
I have siblings. One of which is a piece of good for nothing shit. Uses and abuses mum psychologically. For real. It's so sad. And mum enables this shit because she believes it's not actually my siblings behaviour. It's apparently a ghost. My other siblings are not of legal age yet. I will miss them terribly. They... will have to grow up a lot. Mum does a lot for them. Cooking. Cleaning. Honestly, I dont cook because mum does it. Nor clean. I avoided being with mum and basically without realising it, did that rock technique with her. Where I basically diffuse the conversation and stuff because I hate talking about Islam and just avoid being around her and stuff. I forgot what the technique is actually called.
I love her. Even if I'm sure her love for me is conditional. I wish to keep contact with her. But I worry about her health. Diabetes and general pressure issues. If she dies, my dad wont be able to take care of my siblings. My dad will cook for them and teach them how to travel to school and stuff. But besides that, he wont know about their medical conditions or history, he cant speak much English just some. He is smart but also not really? It's weird.
Mg siblings and mum is who I worry for most. The two siblings who arent over 18 yet. I dont care for the other one because they ruined my life and became such a horrible person. I get some of it is mental health issues so they need help but I'm speaking very specifically of their character before all this began.
Anyway. I escape tomorrow. Today is technically my last day ever with my family. I do love them. I wish to text or call them from time to time but I do think a period of no contact may be necessary for both them and myself to kind of... let this choice I made sink in. I've bought games for my younger siblings where we can chat and hopefully they keep this private. I do believe that they may understand me when they reach a certain age and be more accepting than my parents.
In my letter, I'm not sure if I should say I left because I wanted to live my life or because "God guided me" and play that card. I'm semi atheist. Sometimes I believe in God and other times I dont. Right now km not really sure what I am so I say semi atheist. I will cry and cry and cry after I've made it to my partner. He and his mum will hold me close and tell me I'm safe and loved and deserve to choose the life I want. I have support. We are gonna do so many things together that we couldn't before!
I'm an artist. In so many ways. I had to hide my art with my family. With my partner, he wanted them all displayed. For Christmas, I drew portraits, more like fantasy portraits of him and his mum and his cat. They still have it displayed in their house. It warms my heart. I draw, sew, sculpt with clay, paint sometimes, do traditional pencils drawings with colour and without, digital art, pixel art for working on my game, make plushies and I plan to sew my own dresses, I like styling my hair although my hair is pretty damaged sadly, no not with heat products, more of just unhealthy hair. What else...? I just love making things with paper like water fall cards and spinning cards and pop up books. When I confessed to my partner, at the time he couldn't be with me because he wanted to make sure he was ready, I made him a well designed pop up book. It had stuff we liked, camping, gaming, sleeping, loads of pop up and sliding elements. Then on our 1st anniversary, I made him an explosion box. He was absolutely in shock as he opened it over Skype. I plan to make an even better gift for next time. For Christmas he attempted something similar, he is very creative too. He made me a book of himself. Like a little toy for my to hold around with funny comments and his cat kinda touring me through his weak knee joints Haha and his heart which loves me 100% and his little nose which if I boop, doesnt do anything, nor the the little mole he has on his face. All these drawings and details, I love it so much.
Why did I write all that... I'm trying to cope right now. I want encouragement. I'm scared. But I know I have to do this. I dont want to cry or be sad. I wanna be happy because I have this opportunity to run away move out and be free. I've saved and saved enough for at least a few years. But I'll be getting a job in the new country after I learn the language officially. By going to school to learn the language I'll keep myself occupied and busy. At my partners house we will be playing games ans cuddling and making Lego stuff and drawing and going for walks and watching films so I know I'll be happy.
I just also know I'll wonder how my family are and worry those thoughts will eat into my happy time. I dont know how to go about this.
Please... I wanna move out on happy terms. I deserve to live. To think 7 years ago I was going to take my life because I prayed constantly to God and he didnt seem to reply to it... and then I became an ex Muslim and found a new friend and then a another one of which who became my partner... I never would have believed if someone told me, hey in some years you'll move away from your family have a loving boyfriend and be free from religion. I'd have slapped them maybe and said shut up you liar. Get lost.
But here I am. I didnt take my life. I won. And I'm gonna win again tomorrow when I take that plane. I'm just sad about missing my family. Even if they were unpleasant at times. I still love them.
But I deserve to live my own life. I can do this. One more night on my not so very comfy floor bed.
Paper Blackstar
I will never post from this account again. For updates on my situation, possibly a tutorial of how I escape, please see my other account, The Paper Blackstar. It has one post saying that it's me, and in the comments a mod confirmed.

Hey Reddit! I don’t know if I’m looking for advice or insight so any opinion is welcomed tl;dr My boyfriend and I (M24 and F24) have known each other for our entire lives. Parents were friends we grew up right next door to each other for a majority of our childhood until his family moved. Didn’t really stay in contact through out teen year or after high school. I moved out of state for a couple of years came back home and he reached out as he heard through the grapevine I want doing to well. Started just hanging out kinda like catch up but over the span of 7 months we grew close which eventually wound up to a very drunk night which led to us dating. I never understood the whole idea of marrying your best friend thing until now. I know I’m young but I only see a future with him, I have never been comfortable and open to anyone else. Well the current issue is we live over a hour away from each other, I run my own business and work primarily from home while he works in construction with very long hard hours. During the week we don’t see each other as our schedules don’t line up or we’re too tired. There are mostly daily phone calls, but we don’t really text and frankly I’m not a fan of phone calls in general I try and enjoy our conversations but it’s just not the same. Weekends are a hit or miss due to events, friends or family while also prioritizing our quality time together. In the weekend he comes out to my place as I live alone and I have too many pets to go to his place. I did however mention pretty early on in our relationship the idea of moving in together which he said felt too much and I learned was a lot to suggest so early but I want to see how we can progress. We live in a rural area so most things we do on weekends are mostly home base as I live 30 minutes from town. I honestly feel like I have to put my routine on pause on weekends, like yeah we go out to my events or go hangout with my friends and I drive in for his family events which feels like it takes into our time together because are very social but they do drain the social battery. Am I crazy for thinking our solution to more time together is moving together? Or thinking this is the next step? Extra info. We have been dating for over a year but I have known him and his family all my life. Him and I have traveled together with no issues. I am loving out of state next year to finish my graduate degree (he did know about this even before we started dating) we have had very in depth conversations about how we will proceed and have agreed living together will happen before moving away from friends and family as he has never left our town and making final decisions before completely uprooting his entire life for me to focus on school. Thank you

Six years together. 2024 has been quite a year so far. My boyfriend has been out of work for almost 5 months, which is yearly occurrence since his main source of income is from doing gig work with a local transportation company. He has been applying to jobs with an out of date resume, he hasn't had that much luck in finding work. When I suggested taking on a temporary job at a grocery store or cafe to stay afloat until his main job starts up again, he became extremely upset and said that those jobs were beneath him.
In these past 5 months he has been playing video games, smoking weed in my bathroom, randomly leaving at all hours to hang out with his friends. He doesn't help with any chores, out of fear for my safety I purchased him a new phone when he broke his, paid for two months worth of phone bills, purchase work boots, and allowed him to shake me down for cash to buy weed.
Even though he tries to gaslight me but saying that this is first year that he hasn't been without work, it hasn't been. Every year since he quit his job during covid(2020)and moved into my apt. he has had periods of no work and very little to no money. He just games and smokes those months away. He berates me for not cooking or cleaning when I was working two jobs and he was working none. When he finally did get a new job thanks to his dad helping him, he refused to contribute financially even though he saw how physically and mentally exhausted I was from working 6 days a week. He said I didn't deserve help. He treats me terribly whenever I help him out. He has forced me to pay his taxes, give him one of my stimulus bills, buy him food. He becomes irate if things aren't exactly how he wants it. He loves to make plans only to cancel at the last minute and then gaslight me about it. He would refuse to go out with me to events but then drop everything to go hang out with his friends.
I always told him that if he can't contribute financially due to not having enough or having work, it's fine but he should contribute by doinf household chores. He refuses.
I think what is going on is that my mind is trying to protect me by compartmentalizing and lessen the gravity of the situation and of what occurred this past weekend. I see the signs of being in an abusive relationship but I don't fully believe that I am in one because it doesn't fit what we all have been told are the signs of an abusive relationship.
In February he pushed some storage bins into me, one of which broke and cut me in my back because I told his parents that he hadn't been working for the past two months.
This past weekend which we were walking through a soon to be closed mall, I had been recording the beautiful 80's/90's architecture when he said wait, I instinctively turned around and he was scratching himself. I laughed a little bit and turned back and continued walking. Since I had my phone in my hand he thought I had recorded him, he rushed down the hallway angrily asking me if I recorded him and to give him my phone. I said I didn't and kept walking,I was wearing a hoodie and he grabbed my hood and pulled, angrily telling me to give him my phone, I told him to let go that he was hurting me. I tried to keep on walking but he was still holding onto and pulling my hood. He then proceeds to try to grab the phone out of my hands. You know when someone tries to grab something out of your hands and both of you start grappling over the item, that's what happened. My phone is brand new and did not have a case yet and I was worried he would smash it into the ground. I know my personal safety is more important than a phone but I couldn't let go even if I wanted to, he had grabbed onto me and was in the process of pushing me into the wall when a guy rounded the corner.
He didn't step in nor call the police as far as I know. I took the opportunity to get away from my boyfriend as quickly as I could.
I ran to the train station, he kept on yelling at me "Are you really going to act like this", I didn't answer. My neck and throat burned from where his was pulling back on my hoodie. I started to cry. There was a lady who seemed to notice that something was going on and nodded her head in approval when she saw me rushing past to get into the station.
When he finally did catch up to me and when he texted and called me afterwards, he kept on blaming me for what happened. He said that I shouldn't have walked away from him when he grabbed onto my hood and that I should have told him that I was playing around and pretending to record him( which is what I said to placate him). When I said that he shouldn't have grabbed my hoodie and pulled he retorted with the so now it's my fault, as if I made him pull my hoodie and react like that.
I wanted to go home but I didn't have my keys on me, so I went down to a nearby marina and watched the boats for awhile.
I ultimately ended up at his parents house. I did not tell them what happened. In the past he would become enraged when he found out that I had told his sisters or mom about what was really going on, and would forbade me to either go to a family function or to say anything. His dad then proceeded to have a conversation about selling his house and giving us the proceeds to buy a house but we should have two kids. His parents have been pressuring me have a child with him even though we aren't married. I want to get married and have a small church wedding but according to my boyfriend I don't deserve a wedding. He also shared with us the importance that both people in a relationship need to contribute financially and pay bills, I told him he should tell that to his son, not me. It would be insanity to have a child with a man like him. I know that he will not change who he is if a child came along.
My friends are aware of the general situation (not of this latest incident), some of my family is aware of the general situation( I don't want them to worry and I don't want to bring unnecessary drama into their lives). His family is aware, one of his older sister's told me to call her for help when I wanted to end things with him and she would come over but when I actually did reach out to her, she said that I was an adult and would need to handle things on my own. I think she feigned concerned in order to get information to gossip with the rest of their family.
I am scared of him. Scared of how he would react if I stand firm in him needing to leave. Scared that he will harm my friends, family, himself and me. He has threaten suicide before. He has threaten to harm my pet. He has threaten to steal my mom's ashes. I have asked him to leave before and either he refuses or he simply ignores me.Him leaving is not that simple. He has nothing to lose yet at the same time everything to lose. He doesn't want to go back to his parents house because they will make him find a full time job and then won't let him do what he wants, he would have less freedom( couldn't smoke weed)...and those are his words not mine. He has never agreed to a break or even a temporary visit because he would "come back madder". He knows if he does leave, I will try to end things with him.
He comes across as a calm, chill guy when he is around my friends and family because he is high all or most of the time. That calm, chill guy is not who he really is. He is angry, volatile, and cruel. Yes, he has his moments of kindness(or niceness) and sweetness. Is it "nice" to have someone around to talk with, yes. Who seemingly care about when you will be back home, yes. but do those niceties outweigh everything else that has happened.
There is so much more that I could add to this post, but I am exhausted and I have blocked several incidents out. He constantly tries to gaslights me. He lied about his background and education. He has gotten physical several other times as well as verbally/emotionally. He has engaged in several sexting relationships, most notably with his ex Christy and his "friend" Lore. When I expressed how hurtful his cheating was he stated that is who he is, that he's the kind guy but since he didn't sleep with them, it's fine, it's not cheating. These girls also do not see anything wrong with what they have done.
I do not have any immediate family ie siblings or parents. Therefore, I cannot go and stay with family until he leaves or have a family member accompany me while he moves out. I do have extended family in the area but life has taught me that there is no guarantee that they will help you even if you desperately need it. It's the American way to find your own way out of problems and pull yourself up by your bootstraps ( I say this sarcastically).
The apt. is in my name and I'm pretty sure there is a clause in it that states that if there are domestic disturbances I would have to move out. As stated above I don't have anywhere else to go, so he must leave.
Sometimes I think that this is my lot in life and that I should just accept it. I find myself questioning if what happened on Saturday really is abuse or if it was just a misunderstanding that got a little bit out of hand. Sometimes I just don't know anymore.

Tldr at the bottom.
Before I start for context, I want to say this girl and i had mutual crushes on each other in middle school and high school.
So here's the deal, I recently ( a few weeks ago) sent this girl from high school a message trying to reach out.
I figured she'd never respond but did so anyways, hoping she might one day.
She wound up seeing my message and got back to me.
We've been talking for about a week now, and she's asked me all sorts of personal questions.
I mentioned to her that I was just going to leave a love letter in her inbox and never expected her to respond to me or read the note at all.
She asked me what it would have said, and I went into detail about how I've felt for her and why I disappeared from school.
I told her all about how I turned my life around and gave her all these personal details about life during and after school and what state im living in, I got my own apartment and a good job and everything.
I start asking her about personal info, but she gets weird about it and gives kinda secretive/avoident/cryptic answers.
I've given her a photo of me (a few days ago), I've left her voice messages, short videos of me talking to her and everything, but she never wants to go beyond texting.
She says she's gone through all these difficult life events since high school, which was sent to me in a somewhat long, very personal text, but quickly wound up deleting it.
She opens up a bit here and there, but she also takes hours to respond between messages.
She says she's busy doing her own thing, which I won't say what it is, but it could possibly eat up a lot of her time.
She's very nice and likes to be proper and is very supportive and encouraging in her texts.
I've tried to ask her if she'd be willing to send me a picture or a voice clip or a video, but she always chooses text.
I'm not being weird. I'm just light flirting at first and then just actual conversation asking things to get to know her because I am genuinely interested in getting to know her.
She says basically, "That's too personal right now," and will still respond but avoid questions like the plague sometimes.
Again, she will revisit old questions, but it feels like I'm picking teeth to her a regular, normal length conversation with her.
It's a little painful tbh, I wonder if she's mad at me, if she has a boyfriend or husband, if she's on the street, if she is genuinely busy, if she's ok...
I've asked her before a couple of times why she takes so long to reply, and she says cause she's busy.
Can someone really be this busy all the time every day?
She tells me she tries to be free on the weekends but does work on "projects"
She told me that she's "not promised to anyone," nor has she been "blessed with kids"
I live a good life and tried to impress her with the things I have and my lifestyle (in a nondouchey way), I tried opening myself up to her expressing genuine feelings of joy, love, interest but she just keeps distance.
I asked a mutual friend what he remembers of her from high school, and I guess she's always been like this.
She had a wall between herself and everyone else.
It's just so confusing. Why is she being nice to me?
Why is she responding to me when she could just ghost me?
Why does she talk to me and want to be supportive and tell me things like "I'm rooting for you in life" and "I know you can get where you're going if you keep on the same path" but at the same time, not want to make a call or send a video or a private photo so I can see her?
I asked for her photo in her messenger, and she updated her profile picture, which she hasn't done since high school in about 10 years!
She asks me why I sent and deleted messages and asks me what I sent her, but she doesn't have the time to message me to see them.
Is she manipulating me/stringing me along/keeping me on ice?
What's the endgame?
Where will this lead?
What's going on?
I feel like she's either not being direct, not respecting me, or there's something going on that's preventing her from being transparent with me like I've been with her.
What's the best thing for me to do in order to turn this uncomfortable situation into a more favorable one?
At least in terms of having an honest and open conversation with an old crush that I genuinely want to know more about?
One friend says patience is key with this girl.
Will she end up ghosting me or stop responding one day?
Is this normal?
Do I have a chance, and I'm screwing things up?
Is this salvageable, or is she just being a friend? (Big gulp)
Im trying to keep things light and casual because we both live in different states now but it kinda sucks how she's acting like she's being supportive but at the same time, she isn't being upfront with me.
Can anyone give some insight or maybe share a similar situation and tell me how it went or what was going on when you finally met the person?
Should I just take a chill pill and let things happen naturally?
Tldr: I recently got into contact with an old middle/ high school crush. Things are taking their course, but she's secretive while I'm transparent. She disappears for hours and comes back, claiming to be busy. I'm not sure why she's making time for me but also acting sort of distant. Thoughts, please.
EFIT: Thanks for the responses, guys. It's late, and I love the feedback. Please be honest and keep the messages coming if you care at all. I want to practice more self-love, and this back and forth with her was probably just bad timing. If she asks me any more questions, then maybe I'll tell her that I will share if she wants to share and leave it at that. I hope that's an appropriate response again. Thank you all for your comments. They mean a lot to me ❤️

My (26F) boyfriend (32M) says once a month he feels like the relationship is coming to an end. Around my period I get really agitated and am in pain and prefer to be on my own to avoid snapping at my partner. We have communicated this and it was fine, but this weekend I found out that it feels like I'm two different people, he's stepping on eggs shells around me and he can't be himself and questioned why I can't be all lovey dovey and cute all the time.
I apologised and asked what I do to make him feel like this and I explained that I'm human and hormonal, and some days after work I just want to go home and wind down on my own (we don't live together). I've recently been diagnosed with ADHD and ASD and am coming to terms with this, I burn out and explain this to my boyfriend that I need a day or two where we don't have plans to see each other and do our own thing, at the time he agrees but then it's thrown back in my face "I'm just used to it now, you wasn't like this last month" and other comments like this. I now feel the need to mask how I feel to avoid these negative feelings he's experiencing. I also feel like I shouldn't feel the pressure of being the same and happy all the time. Ive looked up treading on eggs shells and it says not being able to / fear of being your self or saying stuff to avoid the other person getting upset or angry, which has never been the case so I'm confused if this is subconscious for him or if I genuinely make him feel like this. These comments have upset me and I'm taking a few days to reflect on myself and thinking of ways to move forward. My immediate thought is to end the relationship because I'm not making him happy and I'm difficult and it's hard to get out of this way of thinking. How can I improve this ? And seem happy all the time ?

Slutty Sister Has Her Brother Locked For Life (non-con, forced chastity, bondage, punishment)
Part 1
The keyholder nurse gave me instructions and explained everything after it was all over. My family had told me that I was a sex pervert and I was "being dealt with". I knew I was in trouble, but I was a young man, only 18 and I didn't understand what was going on. No one had told me anything after the hearing.
Mom drove me to an odd building, led me to a secure room and left. A young nurse told me to undress. I was totally naked. An older woman in scrubs and a man entered. They strapped my arms and legs down to a cold steel table. The nurse offered the woman a syringe, but she declined and said "No, I want this creep to feel it".
It all started a month ago. I lived with my mom and sister, dad was gone. My sister was 19, with a tight body and medium sized, perky tits. Mom was thick, curvy, with giant tits. Both recently got their naval's pierced with matching studs. Neither had boyfriends, but they were very promiscuous. We lived in a mobile home with thin walls, so I could hear them getting fucked often.
I made some mistakes. First, my sister caught me peeping on her in the shower and told mom. Then, two of her "friends" came over for sex. They took turns on her. She got very loud. After they left, I went in her room. She covered herself, but I saw her pussy and stomach first. There were small puddles of cum around her pantyline, and some more of it leaking out of her. I told her I was still a virgin and asked if I could "go next" on her. She yelled "get out" and told mom when she got home from work.
The third incident was more serious they said. Mom would sometimes drink and pass out. I'd never felt tits before and hers were so enticing. She had some drinks and went to bed. I snuck in. She was asleep, uncovered, wearing a gown. I grabbed her heaving boobs. Then I took one of my hands off her chest and pulled the gown above her waist, exposing her. I slid my hand between her legs and rubbed her pussy. She woke up and caught me. She was pissed. The next day my sister told me they had turned me in and there would be a hearing.
So I knew why I was on the metal table, but I didn't know what was next. I couldn't see, there was a drape at my waist. It started with gloves and cold metal on my genitals, then clamping, pinching, pulling, and eventually a sharp puncturing pain near my balls. I begged them to stop, but they did it 2 more times, once on my cock. Finally a metal device was brought out. I could feel it being slid on, clamped down, tightened, then locked. "All done" they said and left. The young nurse stayed behind.
She removed the drape and released the straps. I inspected the "device". My cock and balls had been fed through a steel ring that tightly encircled them at the base. It was secured to a piercing just above my taint and another at the top. My penis was locked in a tight steel "cage" with a hole at the end for pissing. The head had been pierced and a metal bar went through me as extra security. It wasn't going anywhere. The whole thing was super tight.
"What is this?" I asked.
She explained. "It's your chastity device. Your genitals have been locked up. At the hearing, your mother and sister requested that you be put in chastity. The safety council asked them how long they thought would be appropriate and both wanted you locked forever. Since the incidents involved incest, the council agreed. Your penis is locked for life. I'm your keyholder nurse. I will help with adjustments, cleanings, draining your balls, and anything else needed for chastity".
"When do I get to take off?" I said.
She answered, "You're locked forever. So you wont get to take it off. They have to keep you locked so your sister is safe and to punish you for what you did to your mom. You wont be able to have sex or force anyone. Since you can't masturbate, your balls might swell, so you will see me every other month to drain them, do a deep cleaning, and tighten your cage, if necessary.
--------------------------------XXX--------------------------------

Part 2

The room was cold. My keyholder nurse was a cute twenty-something. A name tag with "Beverly" was pinned above her perky boobs. Her scrub top was tight around her chest. I could see the shape of her breasts and her hard nipples pressing againt the fabric. I stared and my cage got tighter. She noticed and grinned slightly.
I got back to business, "Can I appeal or get parole or something? What happens next?"
She answered, "Sorry, no appeals for chastity. There is parole, but not for incest cases. What you did is considered extremely disgusting, so they deemed you a "most extreme pervert". Incest offenders get more severe penalties and no parole. I'm not supposed to be judgemental, but you're my first incest case and it sounded really awful at your hearing. It's hard to believe creeps as bad as you even exist, who rubs their own mom's pussy? This case is really bad, so I'm gonna go harder on you than my other guys. I hope it was worth it. So here's what's next...your mother and sister are entitled to a final inspection of your genitals, then you'll go directly to prison to be processed and locked up in the chastity unit."
I was confused and responded with frustration, "I can't believe this is happening to me. I just got too horny seeing the girls dressed like sluts and listening to them getting fucked all the time. After seeing my sisters cum-filled pussy, I lost control and slipped up. If she just gave me sloppy seconds, I wouldn't have done all that to mom....What do you mean prison?!?!"
She responded, bursting with excitement, "Dont worry, you'll learn your lesson! OH! I see they didn't tell you about prison yet, since you were a rush case. Chastity is just an add-on to your prison sentence as an extra penalty and to keep everyone safe. Let me look at your file to see how much time you'll serve."
Looking at her tablet, she smiled big and replied, "I've never gotten to do this before! Most guys hear about their sentence before they get to me...Ok, so they actually got you taken care of pretty good here. It got split up into multiple counts, so fortunately, they were able to put you away for a long time."
She continued, "Your sister had you convicted on two charges, one for the shower incident and one for the bedroom incident. You got two more for mom, one for groping her tits and another for going between her legs. I'll read them off...
Count 1, Incestual peeping, sentence: 1 year special confinement
Count 2, Incestual peeping with propositioning, sentence: 1.5 years special confinement
Count 3, 2nd Degree Incestual Sexual Battery, 2 years special confinement
Ok and here's the big one! For touching mom's pussy...
Count 4, 1st Dregee Incestual Sexual Battery, 4.5 years RIGOROUS confinement in the SCU-I, (Special Chastity Unit, Incest wing), with intensive perversion correction."
So you'll do nine years total, with the first four-and-a-half in the incest wing."
I was completely shocked, "Nine years!? Are you serious? What's special confinement? Am I going to regular prison or what?
Beverely explained, "Special confinement means you'll be put in the chastity unit. It's a separate level for inmates that have their genitals locked, like rapists and other perverts. It's a little different. The cells are super small, you don't get any privileges like TV, and you stay locked in your cell for 23 hours a day. But don't worry. Most of my guys are in the chastity unit. They all want out really bad, but they're fine. Some eventually leave for regular population if their sentence allows, but you'll actually just be finishing up in the main chasity unit after you're done with rigororous confinement for the first four-and-a-half. You'll start off in the incest wing".
"What is all that? I asked
Beverly explained further, "It's a big deal. That's why I got so excited when I read your sentence on count 4. It wasn't just the amount of time you got, but what'll be happening to you that makes it a heavy one. I've heard it's very extreme. Since you're my first incest case, I'm not as familiar with it, but I've heard you're basically caged up 24/7 and pretty much treated like an animal. I'm not sure if you even get a toilet or a bed. You only leave your cage once every two weeks for perversion correction, which I might get to assist with, and you'll get another device I've heard about, called the "silver bullet". I think it's an anal device? You'll learn more about that when you get there. Oh! Looks like it's time to get you ready for inspection."
The door opened as she left and two female guards entered. One had a tazer. They led me to another table. This one had wheels. I sat on the edge. One grabbed my ankles and another tried to push me on my back. I resisted, trying to spin off the table. I was immediately tazed, then sedated, imobilizing me. "This will be easier for if you just comply" she said. I was on my back again. My ankles were lifted toward my head, folding my legs over me. Thick zip ties were placed around my ankles and calfs. My hands and forearms were looped through both, then "zzzzzzzztttt", it was all cinched down tight, securing my arms to my legs. A bar was secured between my knees, keeping me exposed. Beverly came back in. One of the guards said "He's all yours hon" as they left.
"Let's get you cleaned up" Beverly said. "Your mom and sister are on their way and they're excited to see your private parts all locked up for good.
She put gloves on, then approached the table, placing one hand over my nose. I opened my mouth and she shoved a gag in and secured it around my head. "This is just a temporary gag. Your sister didn't want you talking during inspection. I believe you'll get more securely gagged and muzzled when you get to processing. I've heard the guys don't get solid food in the incest wing, you get fed a liquid diet, like that soylent stuff, that you'll take through a drinking tube in your gag. It's really amazing how good they have you incest perverts locked up over there. I can't wait to see you like that.
She started the cleaning by soaping and lathering around my crotch, exposed parts were shaved. She walked away, coming back with a tube and a bag full of fluid that she hung from a pole. The label read "Enema". Beverly explained, "Gotta clean you inside and out. First I'll get you lubed up". She grabbed a metal syring, inserted the tip in my ass, and injected me with lube. At the end of enema tube, there was a detachable nozzle with two inflatable bulbs. One was forced in my ass and both were inflated, locking it in place. I could see the tube going from the bag to inside me. I felt like I was being treated like an animal already. She turned a valve, the fluid began flowing and filled me up. She set a timer for 35 minutes, and sat on her stool, reading cosmo. After an agonizing wait, she removed the nozzle plug, allowing me to release. Finally, thank goodness. I was soaped up again and rinsed. She cleaned up the enema nozzle plug, added more lube, and shoved it back1 inside me. "Putting this back in so we dont have any potential leaks" she said, as she inflated it. She disconnected the outside end of the inflatable nozzle where it attached to the longer enema tube, clamped it off, and let go of it. I felt it bounce around as it settled. "You're all set" she exclaimed.
I was wheeled on the cart-like table through a long, busy hallway to a different room for inspection. I could feel the protruding nozzle plug in my ass flop around as the cart moved. The other employees stared as I went by, a few smiled with satisfaction. How humiliating I thought. I heard murmuring. "Bitchtied pervert getting what he deserves!" one girl said angrily.
Finally in the inspection room, I waited. The door opened, Beverly entered with two blondes behind her, my mom and my sister. The two gorgeous sluts were dressed similar. My mom was wearing tight, denim, high waisted shorts that displayed her ass and curvy hips, they were pulled-up high in a way that you could see the denim tight against her twat. My sister came dressed in super short spandex yoga shorts, tight ones that lifted her already firm butt into perfection. Both wore crop tops with their stomachs and matching naval piercings exposed. Images of my sister's sloppy pussy flashed in my head, my cock and balls both swelled. I stared at their bodies and let out a loud, desperate moan as my cage grew excruciatingly tight.
Part 3 to follow...

Normally you'd never catch me on here. This being my very first post after using Reddit for many years. So here goes nothing and I'll keep it short.
Hi, I'm a 26 year old from Florida who is your A-Typical mans man. I've always been called older than I am and constantly try to understand the world and the people around me better and improve myself.
I work in an armed capacity and see the highs and lows of society most every day. I am 6'5 and weigh 285lbs but I'm trying to cut to around 275, my ideal weight. I used to do powerlifting and I love heavy weights, it's a weird obsession for me. Man things, pick things up, put things down lol.
I considered myself open minded and patient with people. I'm a good public speaker and I stand my ground on things I feel I must protect. My job requires it, but I've always been that way.
What Im looking for, I likely won't find, but I'm very willing to give it a shot. I want a girl who's 19-27, preferably white but I'm open to anything, petite in size, kind, considerate and wants to really work towards a future for herself. I'm a big dude and I like smaller girls, fun to lift you up and all that. If you think you're cute, I'll likely find you adorable. You don't have to be anything but you.
I enjoy video games when I'm not working and if you do too, that's a huge bonus. I'm the romantic guy who will surprise you with random trips to get ice cream or take you shopping on a whim. My version of adventure is hopping in my car, picking a direction and just driving for fun. Life is too short to waste happiness or time and that's exactly why I'm here.
If you give me you, I'll give you the world.
I'm willing to make accomodations and work things out for my relationship so it results in the best it can be. I give my all, and tend to protect and fight for things I love and believe in.
Honesty, loyalty, strength and in all, honor. Those are my most sacred values.
This is Reddit after all, and this is just a wall of text, so if any of this resonates with you and you think there might be something to let flourish between us, message me on here and we'll talk and hopefully move off the platform to understand each other better. I am an open book, with nothing to hide.
Everything should happen naturally, be it fast or slow, whatever is right, is right. I hope you're out there and I hope I can make you the happiest girl in the world.

• L

Sooo, I'm looking for a cute and healthy gal who's pursuing some type of goal in her life, also 18+. I hope you have at least one talent, laid back, down to Earth, and can laugh at how absurd life is in the best way possible. A kind soul with understanding that is also sexual in nature, but conservative with it in the proper areas (Lady on the streets, freak in the sheets if you will 😏). A woman who can hold a conversation and won't get bored in a few days. I mean, cmon ladies.
About Me- I'm more traditional, and masculine in my beliefs. I'm 6ft tall, lean and 100% clean with great genes tbh (no family history of anything) and Caucasian. My eyes are dark green, with brown hair, a natural smile, and a good jaw. I'm classically handsome, appear much younger than I am (still get carded 👌), look dam good in a suit, and am perfectly endowed (which, of course that matters let's not pretend).
Hobbies/Talents- love cooking/baking, fine dining, music-SynthWave, Classical, Metal, Emo (ex musician), some gaming, some anime, comedy, sarcasm, being silly, exploring my new home town, gleeking, healthy living/eating, learning/growing, the outdoors, bike riding, practicing buddhism, and making people smile. And TBH I'm also quite sexual and love being intimate and flirty, so don't hold that against me. It's only natural.
I'm educated with a great career and recently just moved to the Midwest, so on the extremely rare chance you are too im not opposed to meeting. Loving all the snow and actual weather. Those Northern lights tho 👌. So far, the food has been great too I've already found some great spots.
Open to all women from anywhere, but of course would prefer someone closer. If you prefer white guys even better 😁 (My main preference is for Asian/White women). Bottom line, If you're cool and we have stuff in common, I'll chat with you.

Previous entry: https://www.reddit.com/buffy/comments/1cpqgdq/rewatchers_diary_season_2_episodes_5_to_7/
On today's menu: The Dark Age (2x8) and What's My Line (2x9-2x10).
Quick thoughts: The Dark Age is fine, What's My Line is part of why BTVS is great.
The Dark Age
Summary: Giles' dark past comes back to haunt him. It ends up hurting Jenny and distancing her from him.
This was fine. I didn't quite have the greatness which BTVS is capable of, but it was fine.
Random thoughts in a random order:

• In this episode we have the line "three down, two to go". In the next one we'll have "one down, one gone", and I think in the previous episode—Lie To Me (2x7)—there was also some take on "N down, M to go". These phrases always make me think of Willow's "one down" line in Villains (6x20), and the title of the next episode, Two to Go (6x21).
• Ooh, more Ethan! Ethan is great!
• I used to be a teenager, but it's a while ago. I liked Buffy's line near the end, which I'll inadvertently paraphrase: "I used to think of you as a grown-up [i.e. distant], now I discovered you're a person [i.e. relatable]". I think I must have forgotten the teen perspective and just how big the gap feels. The ages in my current friendship circles spans four decades. The scoobies at some point refer to Giles as "their grown-up friend". Huh, I guess I'm someone's grown-up friend, and my life feels less weird than the show is made to look on that occasion. Oh well, we have a shared recreational activity in real life, so the friendship that spans a big age range is genuine; affectionate as it is, Giles and the scoobies have more of a working relationship than a friendship. (In my book Giles hasn't fully stepped into the surrogate father role yet.)
• I guess I should talk about how this is a cautionary tale to young people about bad decisions in one's youth having the capacity to exact a price later in life. Uhm. It is.
• Hey, the morgue where Phillip (Deirdre's victim / transfer target) rises from the apparently-dead, is that the same morgue we saw in Never Kill a Boy on the First Date (1x5)? It kinda' looks like it.
• Yay for Willow being assertive towards Xander and Cordelia, "[either get to work, or] get the hell out of my library!"
• Poor Giles, having to once again face the fact that his actions got one of his friends killed, and now having to consider the fact that they may also get his love interest killed.
• Hey, does this feed thematically into the the way Buffy feels responsible for, in some sense, killing Angel (and making Angelus replacing him) in Surprise (2x13)? I think it might.
• Ooh: in this episode Angel saves Jenny. In Passion (2x17) Angel kills Jenny. (Yes, okay, Angelus.)
• Giles' irresponsible decisions almost got Jenny killed. Buffy's irresponsible decisions—unleashing Angelus—actually got Jenny killed.

What's My Line
Summary: Career day at school. The next slayer, Kendra, has a short enemies-to-rivals-to-friends with Buffy. Drusilla is restored while Spike is injured during the attempted escape, and Angel is injured during Drusilla's restoration ritual.
Oh boy, this is great. Random thoughts in a random order:

• Ooh, more Terminator references! Buffy is targeted for termination by (a) someone disguised as a police officer; and (b) a shapeshifting creature made of liquid metal maggots.
• Buffy is already doing uh supernatural community policing, so her as a police officer makes sense. I've not read the comics but I've heard she actually becomes a LEO. Her future as a LEO doesn't get much screen time, but I was still surprised by how much.
• But her actual career right now is being the Slayer, and Kendra shows Buffy how to do it by the book™.
• In that light, it's interesting that Buffy's determination increases a notch when she realizes it's personal: "no one messes with my boyfriend!"
• Willy! Ooooh I like Willy the slime ball.
• He suggests Buffy and Kendra might do "art photography, but naked". Buffy is 16 which is less than 18. Given SMG's age and look, Willy might have overestimated Buffy's age—but still, if such photography happened it would legally be ch*ld p*rn. I recall Buffy dismissing Willy with a disgusted face. I'm not sure how I feel about the show not commenting more strongly on this.
• On a lighter note (maybe), there was such a wonderful scene with Spike holding Drusilla in his arms and the two dancing after Spike talking about dancing on the slayer's grave. In Crush (5x14) Spike would happily dance with Buffy on Drusilla's grave. Between The Gift (5x22) and Bargaining (6x1-6x2), Spike is deeply troubled by the slayer having a grave. Oh how the tables will turn. And I guess in Chosen (7x22) Buffy is... not dancing, but definitely feeling a sense of relief, while standing atop the place where Spike is buried (the whole in the ground that used to be Sunnydale).
• Spike and Drusilla is an incredibly sexy couple. May I join in, please?
• Oz and Willow, while not yet a couple, are so cute together.
• Xander and Cordelia kiss. They are sooo awkward together.
• Buffy touching and kissing Angel in vamp face at the skating rink: the music makes it appear all romantic and stuff, suggesting that she's mature enough to see the man hiding below the monster's exterior. But really—I think—she's too blinded by hormones to notice the monster and the monstrous pile of red flags.
• Speaking of which, "We have this thing at school / Career day? / How do you know? / I lurk", that came across as somewhat stalker-like behavior to me. When Buffy tries to read Angel's mind in Earshot (3x18) out of jealousy, Angel says "[just ask]". Why doesn't Angel just ask what's going on in Buffy's life, then?
• Drusilla has been wearing her white dress the whole time, which I associate with purity and innocence. When at the end she's restored to her full strength and thus capacity for evil she's wearing all black. A nice contrast.
• Drusilla's white dress makes me think of a bridal gown. I think there ought to be some joke about a vampire couple staying together "till death do you part", but I haven't quite nailed it yet.

Updated episode tier list:

• S-tier: 7
• A-tier: 9 10
• B-tier: 3 6 > 1
• C-tier: 8 > 5
• D-tier: 2 4

For context, I’m a 25yo female, that comes from a mixed background (my mother 56F is a white woman from southern Europe, my father is from the Balkans and migrated to my country when he was younger). This is relevant and you will understand later.
I moved away from home as soon as I could when I was 18 after a not so good childhood, and currently live in another European country. My parents are divorced, my father is not really in the picture, I keep in touch with my mother on a daily basis and come visit her and the rest of the family once or twice a year. We never had the best relationship but since I moved out it improved a lot. I’d say we get along better when I’m far away from home.
Anyway, back to the reason of this post. I’ve been seeing this guy for more than a year, he’s great, we’re slowly getting to know each other and see where this is going. We are not in a rush but of course this is a relationship and I felt it was time to tell something more to my mother. I’ve always been quite open about my relationships and people I was dating, however since getting older I started being more private as I don’t think it would be good to mention every failed date to my mother (lol). We come from a typical small town in southern Europe, where people are bigots and close-minded. The news on the tv are constantly complaining about immigrants coming to our country and jadajadajada. The government is mostly right wing. So yeah, I didn’t really mentioned much about this guy, first of all cause I’m trying to keep it private but also because I could imagine her reaction, since she’s the standard average middle age woman that you find on Facebook without much culture. She is ignorant not as an insult but as in the real sense of the word: she ignores, she doesn’t inform herself and just believes whatever the media tells her.
Anyway, she suspected I was seeing someone for a while, I never really said much but I’ve been giving her a few hints in the past weeks and now that I came back to my hometown for a week she started being very curious. The day after I arrived we were casually talking before bed and she just kept asking “C’mon, don’t you have a pic of this guy? Show me! C’mon c’mon! I’m your mother!” so, one side of me didn’t wanna show her, the other one was excited cause at the end of the day I’m proud of my relationship and I was happy to tell her more (maybe naively hoping for a good outcome…). So without thinking much I showed her one of the best pictures of him. Literally in the millisecond while I was showing her the picture she said something like: “hope it’s not a n****” (WHATTT???).
At that point the phone was already on her face. It was done. She said it, and at the same time she saw the picture. She was speechless and I was too. I was ashamed of her. And sad.
She didn’t say anything more for the following 10 minutes, she went to her room and I went to mine. Afterwards she just asked “does he even work?!” And I told her “don’t worry about it, he’s better off than the both of us” just to make her shut up about that question that I found so disrespectful. This made me just so sad, and disappointed.
But the worst had yet to come. We didn’t speak much about it at all until today.
We were having a casual conversation during the afternoon when the relationship topic came out. In particular, we were talking about how your partner should improve your life and not making it worse, meaning he should make you happy, he should bring good positive vibes, get along etc. that’s what I was thinking and referring to. But she started being very materialistic, she asked me “so, in which way is he improving your life?!” in a very aggressive sassy tone “I don’t see anything changing“ she said. I was mentioning that he makes me happy when the conversation degenerated. All sort of things came out of it.
She started by saying:
“well, I truly hopes this will be just a friend and you will keep it like that”
then she continued with:
“please take birth control precautions before you regret it”
“don’t come to me later saying I didn’t stop you”
and the cherry on top was:
“I would have preferred if you told me you were a lesbian cause at least that is cool nowadays”.
I was speechless and I still am.
I asked her what is it that she doesn’t like and what is she basing her opinions on, since she literally knows nothing about him. She couldn’t answer. She kept repeating the same things over and over and she also said she would never want to meet him.
I have to mention that the few guys she met that I was dating were of different cultures, but she never had a problem with them, I guess because the skin color was the same… and in her mind there are probably foreigners of Class A, B, C…
I knew it wouldn’t be easy, but I neither expected such a bad reaction.
All this hurts me so much.
I don’t know what to do.
In my mind it neither makes sense cause she married an immigrant but it seems like she never really came to terms with it, she never really accepted it. For instance, I know nothing about my father’s culture, I never learned the language or interesting facts about it because nobody ever thought me anything about it. I only learned about my mother’s culture, the one of the country I lived in. And I always felt out of place because this country is extremely racist. The fact that my father was not a good husband or father has nothing to do with where he comes from. If a person is an idiot, is an idiot no matter what. And I told her this when we were talking. The fact that she had a bad experience doesn’t mean that I will, just because I’m seeing someone from a different culture. I also explained to her that I am myself an immigrant, since I’m living in another country. But it doesn’t seem to click in her head. And when I told her, to her face, that she is indeed racist, she obviously denied it, because how can she be racist if she married an immigrant herself?
And of course during today’s conversation there was some victim behavior on her side, because every time I come back here it’s certain that we are gonna fight and every time it happens I say stuff like “let’s see when and if I will come back again!”. So she was bringing that up cause the other day I said “the first racist comment I hear I’m gone”. She mentioned that, saying I don’t care about her, that she has to beg for me to call her (mind you, we write good morning, good night, text here and there during the day and we talk on the phone 3/4 times a week…). She even said that “she lost me already the moment I left”. Honestly, I don’t know what else more than this she expects from me if what I do is not enough already.
I don’t really know how to handle this. And I’m also just venting and need some support. I wished we could all act as adults, respect each other, have a normal relationship. Am I asking for too much?!
Any advice is highly appreciated.
I’ll be stuck in her house for the next two days and finally I’ll leave on Thursday. I want her to think about her actions and realize where she did wrong before I leave. I don’t wanna put this under the carpet cause it’s unacceptable.
TL;DR: my 25F mother 56F doesn’t approve of my boyfriend 28M just because of the color of his skin. Her opinion is based solely on a photo I showed her and at the same time she plays the victim and claims she lost me the moment I moved abroad and I don’t care about her even if we talk everyday. I wished there was a way to behave like adults. Advices on setting boundaries?

I have already posted on here somewhere about how I and my current bf are looking to hopefully get married sometime in the not too distant future. He is the best thing that has ever happened to me, and I could not be happier.
This is about my first boyfriend, let's call him Dick.
I was 24 and he was 19. We met while I was working on a college campus at a Burrito Bowl. Well, actually, that's not strictly true. Although I did not attend that particular college, I was often involved in a religious organization that met on that college campus-in addition to working there. We met when I joined the Discord server for that religious organization, and offered to bring dinner to meet new people. He was the only person to take me up on my offer, and so on a storming night in the middle of a week in October, I rolled up to the campus meeting center with a wagon full of:
-a pot of soup
-tortilla chips
-seasoned bread
-butter
-shredded cheese
-sour cream
-fork, knives, spoons, glasses, and folded cloth napkins
Yes, I basically brought an absolute stranger a full meal. For free. On a college campus. In a wagon.
We hit it off and became really fast friends. Really fast friends. Fast forward to end of April the following year. He and I were hanging out together because he wasn't going to be coming back to that college the following semester. He had lost his scholarship because of bad grades. The night before he was supposed to leave, I took him to one of my favorite restaurants as a farewell treat. It was going to be two years before I could see him again. After I dropped him back off at his dorm, I went to run a few errands of my own. Meanwhile, he is texting me that he hasn't packed anything and he doesn't know where to start. I offered to come help, and he said please.
I was at the store while he was texting me, so I bought for myself a 1.25L bottle of coke, and some chocolate. I got THE text as soon as I had finished checking out: "Hey when you get here, I'd like to talk to you about something that's been on my mind."
I pull up to the dorm and go up to his room, plop myself onto the couch. He left to go get something out of his car that he had forgotten. When he came back, he nervously sat down on the arm of another chair in the room, and proceeded to drink MY coke and chowed down on MY chocolate, while rambling on about how he thought I was super sweet and that he really like me and that he hadn't intended to come back, but now, it was his entire goal to come back one day for me. He didn't ask me right then to be his gf, but said he wanted time to think about it, but would I also think about what my answer would be?
I said I would, and proceeded to get his entire dorm room cleaned and packed by 9 am the next morning. A week later, he asked me to be his girlfriend. I said yes and we were incredibly happy--for three weeks.
At the end of three weeks, we were talking while he was traveling to and from work, but there just wasn't anything there anymore. He started ("inadvertently") giving me lists of people, animals I would have to please and things I would have to do in order to be his gf. He didn't want to talk to me anymore, I never knew if he would call me or not, or if he would just randomly hang up on me in the middle of a call. He would constantly rather play video games or listen to music than talk to me. I was becoming more and more discouraged and feeling very boxed in. Also, I never received any gifts, flowers or presents from him our entire relationship. I know it is kind of hard to do long distance, but I managed to send TWO packages to him containing meaningful gifts. Side note for those interested: my current bf either sends me flowers/gifts via DoorDash, Instacart, etc., or has me go out and buy what I like and then refunds me the money. I love this so much.
I went away to go volunteer at another religious organization. Right before I left, I bought a plane ticket to go visit him for my birthday week. Everything was arranged. During the camp, we broke up. Here's how.
He knew that he was my first ever for everything. First bf, first serious relationship, first KISS. He played that, and played it hard. He knew that I had boundaries and that I would stick to them, even if I was embarrassed or thought it would hurt him. I was not going to budge on what I thought was right. He told me that his plan was basically to kiss me the minute I stepped off the plane to see if there was any "spark" there. Idk what would have happened if he didn't find the "spark". When I hinted that I might not be comfortable with that, he asked me why, and I said it was the way I was raised. He got upset, told me that he was starting to hate my parents and said that this was the way things were going to go. I hung up with him, called my mom and told her everything. I got her to begrudgingly allow me that if Dick wanted to kiss, I could. That is all I wanted, sex wasn't even on the menu.
At this point, I am mad at Dick. So I called him back and ranted off on him about how I felt about the entire thing, but mentioned that I had "permission" from my mother to kiss him IF I chose. He didn't let it go, but got his mother involved. We argued back and forth for two days. Finally, two days before camp ended, he texted me, asking if we could have an honest conversation. The basics of what he said, over TEXT:
"I love you, and when I say it I do mean it, but I mean it more in the way that you would tell your sister."
I was so distraught and stressed out that I couldn't think of anything else to do other than pray. Over the period of an hour, I literally typed out my heart and feelings to the God I thought I believed in, to Dick. At the end of it, Dick's entire response? "Don't you know that would've been better said to the Big Man Upstairs?"
I ended things immediately.
We tried to remain friends (at first this was mutual agreement, and then entirely his idea) but it didn't work out well at all. All I can say is that Karma is an absolute bitch, and in this matter I am 100% on her side. Hell, I would've even given her the weaponry needed to screw Dick over, even without her asking.
A few months go by and he ends up getting into another relationship. The gf doesn't know me, but tells him that he needs to block me or else. So he does, I end up having to leave the Discord server for the religious group, and I lost contact with most of my support group because of this. I should mention here that these were MY friends, not his. He wasn't even from the same state as I was. I found out from my best friend that just a few short weeks later, Dick went into the server and posted a prayer request about how his gf was missing. Later, he posted another, and even later posted a third. My best friend rang my phone off the hook that night trying to get in touch with me.
Apparently, Dick's gf was incredibly mentally unstable. She had threatened to go end her life, and disappeared. Nobody knew where she was. Dick eventually called the cops, and when they found her, she GASLIT him saying that he was so untrusting, was just the worst, he made her feel that way, all the jazz. They broke it off and I believe she may have been institutionalized for a little bit.
So yeah. I think I'm way happier now, just sayin. :)

For context, I’m a 25yo female, that comes from a mixed background (my mother 56F is a white woman from southern Europe, my father is from the Balkans and migrated to my country when he was younger). This is relevant and you will understand later.
I moved away from home as soon as I could when I was 18 after a not so good childhood, and currently live in another European country. My parents are divorced, my father is not really in the picture, I keep in touch with my mother on a daily basis and come visit her and the rest of the family once or twice a year. We never had the best relationship but since I moved out it improved a lot. I’d say we get along better when I’m far away from home.
Anyway, back to the reason of this post. I’ve been seeing this guy for more than a year, he’s great, we’re slowly getting to know each other and see where this is going. We are not in a rush but of course this is a relationship and I felt it was time to tell something more to my mother. I’ve always been quite open about my relationships and people I was dating, however since getting older I started being more private as I don’t think it would be good to mention every failed date to my mother (lol). We come from a typical small town in southern Europe, where people are bigots and close-minded. The news on the tv are constantly complaining about immigrants coming to our country and jadajadajada. The government is mostly right wing. So yeah, I didn’t really mentioned much about this guy, first of all cause I’m trying to keep it private but also because I could imagine her reaction, since she’s the standard average middle age woman that you find on Facebook without much culture. She is ignorant not as an insult but as in the real sense of the word: she ignores, she doesn’t inform herself and just believes whatever the media tells her.
Anyway, she suspected I was seeing someone for a while, I never really said much but I’ve been giving her a few hints in the past weeks and now that I came back to my hometown for a week she started being very curious. The day after I arrived we were casually talking before bed and she just kept asking “C’mon, don’t you have a pic of this guy? Show me! C’mon c’mon! I’m your mother!” so, one side of me didn’t wanna show her, the other one was excited cause at the end of the day I’m proud of my relationship and I was happy to tell her more (maybe naively hoping for a good outcome…). So without thinking much I showed her one of the best pictures of him. Literally in the millisecond while I was showing her the picture she said something like: “hope it’s not a n****” (WHATTT???).
At that point the phone was already on her face. It was done. She said it, and at the same time she saw the picture. She was speechless and I was too. I was ashamed of her. And sad.
She didn’t say anything more for the following 10 minutes, she went to her room and I went to mine. Afterwards she just asked “does he even work?!” And I told her “don’t worry about it, he’s better off than the both of us” just to make her shut up about that question that I found so disrespectful. This made me just so sad, and disappointed.
But the worst had yet to come. We didn’t speak much about it at all until today.
We were having a casual conversation during the afternoon when the relationship topic came out. In particular, we were talking about how your partner should improve your life and not making it worse, meaning he should make you happy, he should bring good positive vibes, get along etc. that’s what I was thinking and referring to. But she started being very materialistic, she asked me “so, in which way is he improving your life?!” in a very aggressive sassy tone “I don’t see anything changing“ she said. I was mentioning that he makes me happy when the conversation degenerated. All sort of things came out of it.
She started by saying:
“well, I truly hopes this will be just a friend and you will keep it like that”
She then continued with:
“please take birth control precautions before you regret it”
“don’t come to me later saying I didn’t stop you”
and the cherry on top was:
“I would have preferred if you told me you were a lesbian cause at least that is cool nowadays”.
I was speechless and I still am.
I asked her what is it that she doesn’t like and what is she basing her opinions on, since she literally knows nothing about him. She couldn’t answer. She kept repeating the same things over and over and she also said she would never want to meet him.
I have to mention that the few guys she met that I was dating were of different cultures, but she never had a problem with them, I guess because the skin color was the same… and in her mind there are probably foreigners of Class A, B, C…
I knew it wouldn’t be easy, but I neither expected such a bad reaction.
All this hurts me so much.
I don’t know what to do.
In my mind it neither makes sense cause she married an immigrant but it seems like she never really came to terms with it, she never really accepted it. For instance, I know nothing about my father’s culture, I never learned the language or interesting facts about it because nobody ever thought me anything about it. I only learned about my mother’s culture, the one of the country I lived in. And I always felt out of place because this country is extremely racist. The fact that my father was not a good husband or father has nothing to do with where he comes from. If a person is an idiot, is an idiot no matter what. And I told her this when we were talking. The fact that she had a bad experience doesn’t mean that I will, just because I’m seeing someone from a different culture. I also explained to her that I am myself an immigrant, since I’m living in another country. But it doesn’t seem to click in her head. And when I told her, to her face, that she is indeed racist, she obviously denied it, because how can she be racist if she married an immigrant herself?
And of course during today’s conversation there was some victim behavior on her side, because every time I come back here it’s certain that we are gonna fight and every time it happens I say stuff like “let’s see when and if I will come back again!”. So she was bringing that up cause the other day I said “the first racist comment I hear I’m gone”. She mentioned that, saying I don’t care about her, that she has to beg for me to call her (mind you, we write good morning, good night, text here and there during the day and we talk on the phone 3/4 times a week…). She even said that “she lost me already the moment I left”. Honestly, I don’t know what else more than this she expects from me if what I do is not enough already.
So I don’t really know how to handle this. Any advice is appreciated.
TL;DR: my 25F mother 56F doesn’t approve of my boyfriend 28M just because of the color of his skin. Her opinion is based solely on a photo I showed her and claims she lost me.

Hi, how are you? Im just looking for new friends that i can talk to anytime. doesn't matter where you're from honestly. ive got a few friends from all over the globe and it's working out just fine : )
Ok so about me: - im a singer and i play a few instruments - i have a cute toy poodle - i love pasta haha - i like dinosaurs, space, ocean, reptiles, gardening, and rocks - i enjoy watching films or series and listening to indie music - im empathic : ) - i gym
leave a short intro when u text me!
Just hmu anytime and i'll try my best to answer asap. Also this is platonic so please haha