i applied for an extra year of funding and i uploaded my evidence and covering letter online, how long will it take them to give me a response

For context, we're both 30 now and met in school. We were friends for around 10 years, where we were basically each others best and only friends who did everything together.
Around 5 years ago she went through some very traumatic things in her life and seemingly pushed everyone away, including me. She slowly cut contact until she deleted all her social media and went dark online. I don't blame her at all, she was in a terrible place.
I know her address as she's never moved so I want to send her a letter. Just to tell her I feel like I wasn't a good friend, I hope she's well and leave my number in case she ever wants to get in touch again.
Is it worth bothering? I miss her all the time but I'm not expecting to rekindle our friendship, I just want her to know I care about her and hope she's happy. But I also feel like it might be weird to do this after so long of not speaking at all.

So I decided to finally try out EZCare/Medivi after a horrible experience with my previous psychiatrist. Here’s my issue- in my state there’s an online database showing ALL controlled substances you’ve had in your life. And considering I am a recovered addict, mine obviously shows Suboxone (years ago) & most recently- it also shows sublocade, which I had just gotten off of since April most recently.
So I paid & booked my session, but it was quickly canceled & Medivi sent ME a doctor clearance letter to sign but it looks like it’s technically meant for my provider who did my sublocade treatment to sign to consent they approve of possible benzos or stimulants (which adderall is something they actually already have had me on for a while anyways) but not sure how they would feel about benzos. The form not only allows me to fill it out, but it also allows me to type his signature in lol. I am so tempted, but I’m terrified of the idea of the calling the provider to ask about the form lol. I guess it’s a good thing they don’t answer? Lol. Advice?

Hello,
(Forgive if this is a dumb question. I'm not formally trained in matters of finance, and obviously not a lawyer.)
A common statement I read on finance forums or reddit is that, when the CRA assesses that a citizen owes a large or unforeseen sum in taxes, the citizen has their lawyeaccountant/whatever draft and send a letter disputing the amount in the assessment, and that "scares away" the CRA from pushing their claim. The reasoning being: as commonly touted online, is that the CRA has limited resources and is incentivised to go after those who can't or won't defend themselves using tax-lawyers, therefore they won't see you as worth it to engage in a legal battle over the money.
Main question: Is legal dispute a legitimate strategy for a personal or just baloney that people like to tell online?
IF it is a legitimate strategy:

• What ballpark range in taxes owing does it make it worth to engage in such a legal dispute?
  
• Is it better to pay what the CRA claims you owe then hope to get it back once the legal dispute is resolved, or should one be recalcitrant and withhold the amount owed from the beginning?
  

All input is appreciated, thank you!

Hello,
(Forgive if this is a dumb question. I'm not formally trained in matters of finance, and obviously not a lawyer.)
A common statement I read on finance forums or reddit is that, when the CRA assesses that a citizen owes a large or unforeseen sum in taxes, the citizen has their lawyeaccountant/whatever draft and send a letter disputing the amount in the assessment, and that "scares away" the CRA from pushing their claim. The reasoning being: as commonly touted online, is that the CRA has limited resources and is incentivised to go after those who can't or won't defend themselves using tax-lawyers, therefore they won't see you as worth it to engage in a legal battle over the money.
Main question: Is legal dispute a legitimate strategy for a personal or just baloney that people like to tell online?
IF it is a legitimate strategy:

• What ballpark range in taxes owing does it make it worth to engage in such a legal dispute?
  
• Is it better to pay what the CRA claims you owe then hope to get it back once the legal dispute is resolved, or should one be recalcitrant and withhold the amount owed from the beginning?
  

All input is appreciated, thank you!

Hello,
(Forgive if this is a dumb question. I'm not formally trained in matters of finance, and obviously not a lawyer.)
A common statement I read on finance forums or reddit is that, when the CRA assesses that a citizen owes a large or unforeseen sum in taxes, the citizen has their lawyeaccountant/whatever draft and send a letter disputing the amount in the assessment, and that "scares away" the CRA from pushing their claim. The reasoning being: as commonly touted online, is that the CRA has limited resources and is incentivised to go after those who can't or won't defend themselves using tax-lawyers, therefore they won't see you as worth it to engage in a legal battle over the money.
Main question: Is legal dispute a legitimate strategy for a personal or just baloney that people like to tell online?
IF it is a legitimate strategy:

• What ballpark range in taxes owing does it make it worth to engage in such a legal dispute?
  
• Is it better to pay what the CRA claims you owe then hope to get it back once the legal dispute is resolved, or should one be recalcitrant and withhold the amount owed from the beginning?
  

All input is appreciated, thank you!

According to many posts and interviews by Ava Max, she has identified herself with the Aquarius personality type, now while I do not personally believe in Astrology (as i see it used wayyy to often for discrimination plus its problematic with the concept of freewill) I thought it would be fun to give you all a snapshot into what it would be like to date Ava according to the typical personality traits associated with an Aquarius (with bonus facts about Ava)! Sound fun? I thought so!

1. An Aquarius will be loyal unto the end and does not love just anyone! As such they expect complete loyalty, mutual respect and honesty in return. If you are looking for a casual hookup, fling, or an open-relationship an Aquarius will drop you in an instant! A downside to an Aquarius is they can be very trusting, believing others to be as honest and good as they are, and as such tend to be taken advantage of.

Fun fact: Ava Max was in a SEVEN-YEAR relationship. She also broke up with two partners for gaslighting and cheating on her, something which broke her heart. (Viall Files and Rolling Stones Interviews)

1. An Aquarius is passionate and fun! If you are looking for someone romantic, spontaneous, dominant, charming and unpredictable an Aquarius is right for you!

Fun Fact: Ava Max prefers to date the quiet, introverted and nerdy type of personality - and as such looks for someone whose nature contrasts and compliments her own. (Viall Files Interview)

1. An Aquarius is attentive to their lovepartner, however in return they also require a partner who they can not only trust, but someone they are safe to express anything and everything in their soul. To date an Aquarius means to be their friend first.

Fun Fact: Ava Max and Cirkut dated shortly after meeting, and though they broke off the relationship they have remained friends and close collaborators ever since. (AmoMama website - interview)

1. An Aquarius is drawn to vulnerability and deep-feeling/emotionally intelligent and mature people. An emotional connection is the most important thing to them. Alongside this they are analytical, clever and smart - and thus make for great communicators (honesty, smart, and deep feeling).

Fun Fact: Ava Max LOVES interior design and it is her favorite hobby besides singing/dancing - if you want something to talk to her about, this is a great place to start! (Maxwell Zoom and Viall Files interviews)

1. While an Aquarius is a passionate and loyal lover, they need their space and freedom, as this is a very free-spirited type of personality. If you are a controlling, clingy, or dominant person this relationship will not work out at all.

Fun Fact: Ava Max is a prominent advocate of the duality in us all and is a huge believer in embracing ones dualistic nature and identity - something very prevalent in her lyrics especially in her Heaven and Hell album. (Multiple interviews including Genius)

1. While an Aquarius is deep feeling and passionate, they can be aloof and have the ability to retreat into themselves and disconnect - especially during tension. As such, while highly emotional people, they do not prefer drama and may be emotionally detached at times.

Fun Fact: Ava Max is not this way at all actually (at least most of the time), and is very deep-feeling, outspoken, filled with many different sides and dualism within her feelings. (Idolator interview)

1. An Aquarius is an easy-going, creative, quirky, open-minded inspiring, wild, out-of the box, crazy and eccentric. If you are looking for someone plain and stable this relationship is not right for you. Their nature is very artistic, adventurous, and action focused. As such they tend to be unpredictable and inconsistent - so be prepared for that.

Fun Fact: When Amanda Koci (Ava) was young she catfished her brother as a prank (she loves pranks). So she came up with the name Ava and messaged her brother online for a month pretending to be some girl dating him online (putting an image of some model as her online picture). She then invited brother outside, revealing the truth that he had gotten pranked (he was pissed). That is how she came up with the name Ava and has used it ever since. True story! (Apple podcast - link below in comments)

1. An Aquarius is all about honesty, sincerity, and will always show their real-self. As such they cannot stand dishonest people. Their love language can vary by person but generally they value honesty and respect - when they say something, they mean it.

Fun Fact: Ava Max's love language is quality time as such touring can be hard on her as she is taken away from her partner. She will not go over two weeks without spending quality time with the person she is with. (Viall Files Interview)

1. An Aquarius is a friendly and bold personality. One will most likely will make the first move and can be very flirtatious. However this makes them impulsive - which can cause problems.

Fun Fact: Ava Max has never been in a relationship or hookup where she didnt make the first move! (Viall Files Interview)

1. While an Aquarius can be fun, spontaneous and wild - they are also very private and can even be solitary. As such to win their heart a person truly has to click with them.

Fun Fact: While Ava Max has a very public, bold and extroverted persona she is internally very shy, private and prefers to separate her Ava Max persona from her true Amanda Koci self - hence the difficulties finding information on her private life. (Multiple interviews including the Rolling Stone and Viall Files)

1. An Aquarius is a caring, loyal, and honest personality. As such they tend to be humanitarian and altruistic.

Fun Fact: Ava Max has a very caring heart, major issues for her include LGBTQIA+ rights (with her preforming at the human rights campaign in 2023), personal identity, empowerment and women's rights. She wants to inspire, uplift and empower people. (Bandwagon interview)

1. An Aquarius is DOMINANT and fiercely independent. As such they are uncompromising in who they are (hence the traits of being spontaneous, honest, wild, and free-spirited). As such they work best with either a submissive type of person or a person who is similarly confident in who they are but will not try to control or cage them. If you are dating an Aquarius they need a partner to support them in life, not a dominant person to try to control their nature.

Fun Fact: Ava Max's song Not Your Barbie Girl is the perfect example showing what type of woman she is.

1. Finally, The heart of an Aquarius is freedom of self and expression, they each are truly a UNIQUE soul. As such they are bold, determined and ambitious and have their bar set high for both life and relationships!

Fun Fact: Ava Max has been competing in music competitions since she was 8 years old and worked non-stop at trying to become a singer, even moving to LA when she was only 14, and returning there when she was 17. She has gone through extreme bullying, rejection, sexual harassment, poverty, betrayal and emotional hardship to achieve her dreams.
I hope you all enjoyed learning about Ava Max's personality type. As far her personality type according to 16 personalities she seems to be an ambivert with her Ava persona being extroverted and her Amanda persona being introverted. She also also extremely feeling (something prevalent in her music) alongside being very intuitive, being able to sense the nature of a person from their eyes (the widows to the soul) as she shared in her vial files interview. Finally she appears to be a mix between judging and perceiving - as she has signs of both traits. As such she is an (E/I NF J/P) - with the first and forth factors being pretty balanced.

NSFW Warning
I truly don't know what to do anymore, I'm completely lost.
I'm a 20 year old male with autism and possible OCD.
There are many things I want to talk about so this is going to be really long and unorganised.
From age 18 up until last year, I viewed and masturbated to CSAM, and the way I went about getting hold of it is equally bad, if not worse. I cannot express in words the shame and remorse I feel for this.
I know most of you hate me now and I don't blame you, and I guarantee you I hate myself more for it.
The most confusing part about it is I don't find children attractive, there's no groinal response, urges, desires, arousal, nothing. I don't even take a second glance or stare, the only thing I have is intrusive thoughts. Recently I was sat in the corner of a crowded bus, and since there was nowhere else to sit, three boys, none of which could have been older than 13 sat by me, one next to me, and the other two across from me, to which I felt nothing of that nature whatsoever.
My instincts when I've been around children in recent times is purely parental and protective.
I'd never hurt a child, especially in that way, I'd slit my wrists or set myself on fire before I did that, I might just slit my wrists anyway.
I'd run into a burning building, I'd run out onto a busy road, I'd give my life to save a child's life.
I don't go out of my way to be around children, I find them for the most part irritating, I don't hate them though. Throughout my entire life I preferred the company of adults. I even live across from a playground ffs.
I'm scarred for life by some of the things I saw in those images and videos, how the hell could someone do something like that?! I want to climb through the screen and protect those kids, give them a hug and let them know nothing can hurt them anymore.
I stumbled across an image hosting site when I was 16 whilst trying to find material involving my peers again, and the site hosted lots of cropped images of teens on webcams and older kids on webcams (it was obvious what they were doing), and on the page for the accounts, it usually displayed an email where stuff could be traded, but I didn't pursue that until 2 years later.
I went about acquiring it through sending old images and videos of myself, and in a lot worse way as well.
Starting from 14 up until last year, I very occasionally placed my phone in the bathroom and filmed my friends urinating, this happened definitely less than ten times, and most of them I deleted from everywhere, but I kept one and a screenshot of a few others, I started posting these images, as well as my own nudes, on an old reddit account which was deleted not long after, I made sure to hide their identities while doing this, I enjoyed the attention and compliments I would get, and I loved bigging up my friends and seeing them get compliments.
Then I used this content to acquire the bad stuff years later, including the stuff of me.
I had an Idea that this was considered wrong but I didn't understand how it could have been harmful.
This happened to less than 5 friends, all the content I had I have long since deleted and wiped any access to, and I have no intention to do this again, but the main issue is the fact that copies could have been made of it, and I accidentally sent the uncropped video once. There's the possibility none of this stuff is out there, but it's still vile and repulsive.
One of them was my closest friend, who I had known basically all my life, I broke down to him and told him what I had done and what I believe does me to this awful, reprehensible place, and you know what he did? He told me he forgave me and that some video possibly being out there doesn't phase him and his life isn't ruined at all and it will go on either way.
But he understandably said we can't see each other anymore, that he still loves me, believes I'm a good person and wants me to live a good life and make the world a better place, which was a dream of ours.
It's extra difficult because we were so close, we had experienced so much together, held all the same interests and beliefs, and I loved him only like family could, so the fact I committed this vile act of betrayal rids me with so much shame, and deservedly so. In a way I find it harder to get through because I didn't understand the true consequences of my actions and how this could have affected him and others, it would be less confusing and easier to accept I'm just the lowest form of humanity that way.
I displayed other problematic behaviours from a young age, all to do with boundary issues, I sometimes used to touch my friends when I was 12 but never their actual genitals, and I used to jokingly show my erection to people as well.
The only constant that I knew for certain is wrong is genuine rape and molestation, which is a line I know for certain I could never cross, and never will.
From a very young age (around 3 or 4) my mother would do very inappropriate party tricks around me with her friends late at night when they were drinking, her friends would call me sexy, and as I got older and hit puberty, she started making comments about my bulge and other things despite the fact I hated it and told her so.
When I was 7 I was groomed and molested by an 8 year old boy, I wanted him to help me pass a level on my DS game and he said he'll do it if I have sex with him, me being 7 I didn't understand what that was and with him being older I complied. We were naked during this, he fondled my genitals and got me to do the same to him, he inserted his fingers into my anus as well.
When I was 10, two of my close friends groomed me, they simulated blowjobs on each other and got me to do the same to them.
When I was 11, my 12 year old friend groomed and molested me despite me protesting, he got me to get in my bed with him and he rubbed up against me. Earlier that day he also got me to sit in his lap whilst cuddling me from behind, we were wearing underwear.
When I was 13, that same friend when he was nearly 14 and another friend who was already 14 groomed and molested me in my pool again, I had an erection in the pool and jokingly showed one of them it, and it escalated from there. They both got naked and got me to do so, I protested but eventually gave in to the pressure, they also showed each other their genitals and got me to do the same, later that boy got me to sit in his lap again whilst the older boy rubbed up against me.
There was also just the normal experimenting stuff, one of my friends used to show me his erections and I would do the same.
All of my friends were going through puberty and their bodies were changing and so was mine, which I found incredibly fascinating and arousing, and I had seen most of my friends genitals and some other students genitals throughout growing up, so me being young and autistic, I became very curious.
Kids before finishing Elementary/Primary School were swearing and talking about sex, then as I got older (11) kids were drinking, smoking, doing drugs, talking about masturbation habits and apparently having genuine sex. Then by the time I was 13, there was a lot of students taking nudes, nudes being spread around school and nudes being leaked (including mine, which distressed me for a few days, but only because people knew they were mine, if they were spread around but they didn't know it was me, I wouldn't have cared), kids with condoms and other stuff etc.
I started watching non-pornographic sexual content online (sex scenes from movies, TV shows, games etc) at age 9 which I would genuinely get an erection from watching.
At age 10 I hit puberty (testicles largened) and I started masturbating to non pornographic stuff. Including videos of animals mating. I also tried to find stuff involving my peers and found a fake video of stuff suggestive of that.
At 11 I started to grow pubic hair and had my first ejaculations, as well as discover porn, and I had my first crush which was on a 12 year old boy who was another friend, who I would masturbate to. This crush lasted a number of years, but he was straight so it couldn't go anywhere. This was also the age I started taking nudes and videos of me masturbating.
At 12 I started to grow underarm har and facial hair began to appear on my upper lip, I was watching porn very heavily at this point.
At 13 my voice had broken and I was nearly my full adult height, this was also the age I first masturbated to a non-sexual nude image of a child. As well as videos of stuff like naturism and videos of circumcision (I don't have a pain or gore fetish, I would just blank it out and focus on the genitals.)
By 14 I was my full adult height, I had adult sized ejacualtions and my penis had fully grown. And that is when I started posting my nudes online. To which I would have sexual conversations with adults, not knowing I was setting myself up to be groomed and have something normalised in my head which shouldn't be.
By 15 I was growing facial hair, as well as chest and abdominal hair. And I found a shotacon involving a boy my age having sex with an adult woman, and I would pretend to be him.
At 17, a 19 year old flirted with me and got me into sending nudes to him, and he did the same, which I didn't see as bad and despite it being technically illegal, I still don't.
I also did the same when I was 19 with a 17 year old stranger online, but they were very willing and I didn't pressure them, no personal info was shared between us.
I also messaged a 15 and 14 year old at some point but stopped myself from letting it go any further. And cut them off before anything could be shared.
And when I started watching the CSAM, it was mostly teens 9n webcams that I watched, I was lured into thinking that this content isn't kids being assaulted or anything (which it is) and due to my experiences twisting my view, I thought kids were enjoying it (which they weren't) since I would have had enjoyed it at that age (which I wouldn't have) it wasn't until I saw unmistakable suffering which is when I stopped and vowed to never go there again. It was mostly stuff involving boys, the stuff involving girls I just found too revolting. I wanted to relive those experiences, go back to a time I was happier. It felt safe and comforting.
All of these experiencs warped my views and understanding of things, desensitised me and made me believe things were ok that weren't and that kids aren't as innocent as they are seen to be (which they are). I have never commited rape or an act of molestation and never will, these are acts I've always seen as vile and disgusting.
I've suffered with mental health issues for a long time as well.
I've struggled with feelings of self-hatred and worthlessness since around 9 or 10.
I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety at 13, I've been self harming and suicidal since 15, I've also been attempting suicide since 15.
I've always felt like the odd one out, I always felt like I was the worst at everything, I was the one who was left out of games at school, the one who was always picked last in sports.
I was bullied a lot growing up, by students and occasionally teachers alike.
My mother is narcissistic and has been emotionally and occasionally physically abusive to me since I was 14 (telling me she hates me and that everyone else hates me, tells me how horrible I am, tells me that I should kill myself and do everyone a favour, threatened to stab me in my sleep, hit me on the occasion, bit me, threw things at me, including heavy things and glass, strangled me).
I truly don't know what to do anymore, I'm completely lost.
I'm a 20 year old male with autism and possible OCD.
There are many things I want to talk about so this is going to be really long and unorganised.
From age 18 up until last year, I viewed and masturbated to CSAM, and the way I went about getting hold of it is equally bad, if not worse. I cannot express in words the shame and remorse I feel for this.
I know most of you hate me now and I don't blame you, and I guarantee you I hate myself more for it.
The most confusing part about it is I don't find children attractive, there's no groinal response, urges, desires, arousal, nothing. I don't even take a second glance or stare, the only thing I have is intrusive thoughts. Recently I was sat in the corner of a crowded bus, and since there was nowhere else to sit, three boys, none of which could have been older than 13 sat by me, one next to me, and the other two across from me, to which I felt nothing of that nature whatsoever.
I'm sexually attracted to males 20 and over, and I'm romantically and sexually attracted to females 20 and over, I wouldn't even date an 18 or 19 year old.
My instincts when I've been around children in recent times is purely parental and protective.
I'd never hurt a child, especially in that way, I'd slit my wrists or set myself on fire before I did that, I might just slit my wrists anyway.
I'd run into a burning building, I'd run out onto a busy road, I'd give my life to save a child's life.
I don't go out of my way to be around children, I find them for the most part irritating, I don't hate them though. Throughout my entire life I preferred the company of adults. I even live across from a playground ffs.
I'm scarred for life by some of the things I saw in those images and videos, how the hell could someone do something like that?! I want to climb through the screen and protect those kids, give them a hug and let them know nothing can hurt them anymore.
I stumbled across an image hosting site when I was 16 whilst trying to find material involving my peers again, and the site hosted lots of cropped images of teens on webcams and older kids on webcams (it was obvious what they were doing), and on the page for the accounts, it usually displayed an email where stuff could be traded, but I didn't pursue that until 2 years later.
I went about acquiring it through sending old images and videos of myself, and in a lot worse way as well.
Starting from 14 up until last year, I very occasionally placed my phone in the bathroom and filmed my friends urinating, this happened definitely less than ten times, and most of them I deleted from everywhere, but I kept one and a screenshot of a few others, I started posting these images, as well as my own nudes, on an old reddit account which was deleted not long after, I made sure to hide their identities while doing this, I enjoyed the attention and compliments I would get, and I loved bigging up my friends and seeing them get compliments.
Then I used this content to acquire the bad stuff years later, including the stuff of me.
I had an Idea that this was considered wrong but I didn't understand how it could have been harmful.
This happened to less than 5 friends, all the content I had I have long since deleted and wiped any access to, and I have no intention to do this again, but the main issue is the fact that copies could have been made of it, and I accidentally sent the uncropped video once. There's the possibility none of this stuff is out there, but it's still vile and repulsive.
One of them was my closest friend, who I had known basically all my life, I broke down to him and told him what I had done and what I believe does me to this awful, reprehensible place, and you know what he did? He told me he forgave me and that some video possibly being out there doesn't phase him and his life isn't ruined at all and it will go on either way.
But he understandably said we can't see each other anymore, that he still loves me, believes I'm a good person and wants me to live a good life and make the world a better place, which was a dream of ours.
It's extra difficult because we were so close, we had experienced so much together, held all the same interests and beliefs, and I loved him only like family could, so the fact I committed this vile act of betrayal rids me with so much shame, and deservedly so. In a way I find it harder to get through because I didn't understand the true consequences of my actions and how this could have affected him and others, it would be less confusing and easier to accept I'm just the lowest form of humanity that way.
The other two friends I stopped communicating with, I wiped the account wiped the content from all areas they were stored on, deleted what they were stored, everything, and there is a possibility it's not out their at all.
I displayed other problematic behaviours from a young age, all to do with boundary issues, I sometimes used to touch my friends when I was 12 but never their actual genitals, and I used to jokingly show my erection to people as well.
The only constant that I knew for certain is wrong is genuine rape and molestation, which is a line I know for certain I could never cross, and never will.
From a very young age (around 3 or 4) my mother would do very inappropriate party tricks around me with her friends late at night when they were drinking, her friends would call me sexy, and as I got older and hit puberty, she started making comments about my bulge and other things despite the fact I hated it and told her so.
When I was 7 I was groomed and molested by an 8 year old boy, I wanted him to help me pass a level on my DS game and he said he'll do it if I have sex with him, me being 7 I didn't understand what that was and with him being older I complied. We were naked during this, he fondled my genitals and got me to do the same to him, he inserted his fingers into my anus as well.
When I was 10, two of my close friends groomed me, they simulated blowjobs on each other and got me to do the same to them.
When I was 11, my 12 year old friend groomed and molested me despite me protesting, he got me to get in my bed with him and he rubbed up against me. Earlier that day he also got me to sit in his lap whilst cuddling me from behind, we were wearing underwear.
When I was 13, that same friend when he was nearly 14 and another friend who was already 14 groomed and molested me in my pool again, I had an erection in the pool and jokingly showed one of them it, and it escalated from there. They both got naked and got me to do so, I protested but eventually gave in to the pressure, they also showed each other their genitals and got me to do the same, later that boy got me to sit in his lap again whilst the older boy rubbed up against me.
There was also just the normal experimenting stuff, one of my friends used to show me his erections and I would do the same.
All of my friends were going through puberty and their bodies were changing and so was mine, which I found incredibly fascinating and arousing, and I had seen most of my friends genitals and some other students genitals throughout growing up, so me being young and autistic, I became very curious.
Kids before finishing Elementary/Primary School were swearing and talking about sex, then as I got older (11) kids were drinking, smoking, doing drugs, talking about masturbation habits and apparently having genuine sex. Then by the time I was 13, there was a lot of students taking nudes, nudes being spread around school and nudes being leaked (including mine, which distressed me for a few days, but only because people knew they were mine, if they were spread around but they didn't know it was me, I wouldn't have cared), kids with condoms and other stuff etc.
I started watching non-pornographic sexual content online (sex scenes from movies, TV shows, games etc) at age 9 which I would genuinely get an erection from watching.
At age 10 I hit puberty (testicles largened) and I started masturbating to non pornographic stuff. Including videos of animals mating. I also tried to find stuff involving my peers and found a fake video of stuff suggestive of that.
At 11 I started to grow pubic hair and had my first ejaculations, as well as discover porn, there was also an image I masturbated to which depicted a boy of my age giving oral to a man, and I had my first crush which was on a 12 year old boy who was another friend, who I would masturbate to. This crush lasted a number of years, but he was straight so it couldn't go anywhere. This was also the age I started taking nudes and videos of me masturbating.
At 12 I started to grow underarm har and facial hair began to appear on my upper lip, I was watching porn very heavily at this point.
At 13 my voice had broken and I was nearly my full adult height, this was also the age I first masturbated to a non-sexual nude image of a child. As well as videos of stuff like naturism and videos of circumcision (I don't have a pain or gore fetish, I would just blank it out and focus on the genitals.)
By 14 I was my full adult height, I had adult sized ejacualtions and my penis had fully grown. And that is when I started posting my nudes online. To which I would have sexual conversations with adults, not knowing I was setting myself up to be groomed and have something normalised in my head which shouldn't be.
By 15 I was growing facial hair, as well as chest and abdominal hair. And I found a shotacon involving a boy my age having sex with an adult woman, and I would pretend to be him.
At 17, a 19 year old flirted with me and got me into sending nudes to him, and he did the same, which I didn't see as bad and despite it being technically illegal, I still don't.
I also did the same when I was 19 with a 17 year old stranger online, but they were very willing and I didn't pressure them, no personal info was shared between us.
I also messaged a 15 and 14 year old at some point but stopped myself from letting it go any further. And cut them off before anything could be shared, or any messages could be exchanged for that matter.
And when I started watching the CSAM, it was mostly teens 9n webcams that I watched, I was lured into thinking that this content isn't kids being assaulted or anything (which it is) and due to my experiences twisting my view, I thought kids were enjoying it (which they weren't) since I would have had enjoyed it at that age (which I wouldn't have), it wasn't until I saw unmistakable suffering which is when I stopped and vowed to never go there again. It was mostly stuff involving boys, the stuff involving girls I just found too revolting. I wanted to relive those experiences, go back to a time I was happier. It felt safe and comforting. It was relatable.
All of these experiencs warped my views and understanding of things, desensitised me and made me believe things were ok that weren't and that kids aren't as innocent as they are seen to be (which they are). I have never commited rape or an act of molestation and never will, these are acts I've always seen as vile and disgusting.
I've suffered with mental health issues for a long time as well.
I've struggled with feelings of self-hatred and worthlessness since around 9 or 10.
I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety at 13, I've been self harming and suicidal since 15, I've also been attempting suicide since 15.
I've always felt like the odd one out, I always felt like I was the worst at everything, I was the one who was left out of games at school, the one who was always picked last in sports.
I was bullied a lot growing up, by students and occasionally teachers alike, and even my boss at my first job.
My mother is a heavy drinker, narcissistic and has been emotionally and occasionally physically abusive to me since I was 14 (telling me she hates me and that everyone else hates me, tells me how horrible I am, tells me that I should kill myself and do everyone a favour, threatened to stab me in my sleep, hit me on the occasion, bit me, threw things at me, including heavy things and glass, strangled me). There was also manipulation tactics like gaslighting, she alienated me from others by telling her friends and family how awful I was. Pushed me into meltdowns and got me to lash out, to which she called the police and got me arrested and made me look like the bad one on multiple occasions.
My father was a drug addict who died when I was 14, I saw him less than ten times my whole life, he grew drugs in my room when I was an infant, my most distinct memory is him coming to my house very late one night when I was around 9 or 10 talking about demons and bad spirits.
Addiction runs in my family (my father's father is an equally heavy drinker, his mother is a drug addict who ran a brothel), so the addictive tendencies have been past down to me.
I probably was addicted to porn by 13, and had been feeding it for years without knowing it.
My adopted grandfather died when I was 4, and my adopted grandmother (which I lived with from birth) who was my guiding light, died less than a week before my dad did.
The only father figure I really had (who was an alcoholic but otherwise very good with me) was my mother's partner who she met when I was 6, and he died when I was 8.
I was also very close to my mother's best friend, who had been more of a mother to me than my actual one had been some time died when I was 17.
My mother had an abusive ex who stalked her and threatened to set fire to the house, who also left ranting letters and stood in the back garden at night, so we lived in fear of stuff like that for over a year from when I was 12 through 13.
She also had an abusive lodger who was an even heavier drinker than she is, so from when I was 14 through 16 I witnessed them physically fight, both get arrested and on a few occasions I had to defend her from him.
Many of my friends have betrayed me over the years (I know I'm one to talk) but when this started to happen I would have never dreamed of betraying anyone, personal stuff was shared about me which I trusted them with, there was a lot of bad talking about me without me knowing. My toe closest friend turned on me at age 12 and isolated me from my other friends, I blamed myself at the time which I why I moved schools at 13 since I thought I was just making everyone miserable.
I didn't get diagnosed with autism until I was q9 despite trying to get it since I was 12, it hurt knowing I had been paying my whole life for being different, feeling ashamed of who I am (and rightly so now really), wondering why what I said was offensive, why I didn't understandfulky why this was wrong, why I was so sensitive to jokes, why I took e everyhing literally, why I made impulsive and reckless decisions without understanding the consequences of them.
I was never considered attractive and was ridiculed for it (girls used to jokingly flirt with me to torment me at school). I'm 5'6, always have struggled with weight, hairline started receding at 16, eczema so my skin is always red, dry and flaky, really bad diastema and acid reflux which means it's really hard to make my breath smell nice and my teeth are very worn because of it. I have had sex with someone who was older than me and we were both consenting adults, and we were both very respectful of boundaries.
I was also desensitised to other things slide gore and violence, I played a lot of violent video games when I was a kid, my mother is really into controversial shock movies (she got me to watch Cannibal Holocaust with her when I was 11).
The worst part about all of this is the fact all my friends who I love would hate me if they knew about what I've done so, none of them would trust me anymore or respect me, which is what friendships are all about right? So in a way they feel strange, they feel fake.
I could never find a relationship or true love because nobody wants to date a serial sex offender.
I hate knowing the fact I'm a sex offender, it's eating me alive.
I'm not registered and there is no real proof of what I did, so I can't turn myself in or anything.
I want to do good in the world, I have so much love to give, but it feels wrong me helping people because it feels like there is a sinister undertone to everything I do.
I've always enjoyed being charitable, I love giving money to the homeless or putting change in a donations box.
I feel guilty whenever I feel hapoy since I don't deserve to be, the only things that I enjoy now are food and playing video games, it's the only job I get out of day to day life.
The only fate I deserve is being stabbed to death in prison or something.
All I want is to be loved and accepted despite my flaws and mistakes, but I never could be.
The only other person I've told is my mother, who has been supportive.
I've been on antidepressants since 18 and I'm trying to get therapy, but I'm not hoping or expecting anything good will happen from this. I've been in and out of therapy since I was 11.
I had dreams, I had aspirations, I wanted to change the world for the better, I wanted to have a son, not to hurt him, but so he doesn't end up like me, but I reliase that is not possible. I don't deserve to be around children.
I hate keeping secrets, but I have no choice but to keep this one.
I want to identify with good people, but I can't.
Every good thing I do is invalidated now.
I forgive everyone who has wronged me in anyway, since I'm worse than them.
I just pray I can go out doing good, doing the right thing.
I am no better than Jimmy Saville, Ian Watkins or any of them types of people.
If you want to motivate me to end it all, feel free.
If you have read through all of this, thank you.

I have worked 16 hours a week for the living wage since September 2023.
I have two children; the eldest currently 4 who has qualified for 15 hours childcare since the term after she turned 3 (jan 2023) and 30 hours since I started work again in September, but only accessed these hours in jan 2024. My youngest is 2, and has only just qualified for 15 hours this month with the new scheme because I earn enough to qualify.
Back in February we received a message through the online portal asking to confirm my details, which we did. In early March we receive another message stating that I am not expected to earn enough money to qualify for my eldest to receive 30 hours child care. We refute this and reiterate that I do work 16 hours a week for the living wage (which is stated on the government website as being the requirement)
This weekend I receive a letter stating that a final decision has been made and that my YOUNGEST child shall be losing their 30 hours because I do not earn enough . Now, there is currently no such thing as 30 hours childcare for 2 year olds. I assume they have put the wrong name on the letter as all previous messages have been in reference to my eldest. My childcare provider have tried to chase this also and have confirmed that my eldest has indeed had her hours cut to 15. They are also confused by this.
I have checked all my payslips with my employer and done the math and I have not been underpaid. For 1 day I took unpaid leave to look after my two children as they both had a sickness bug and could not attend nursery.
Am I wrong to think this is an incredibly harsh reason to have my childcare hours cut? 1 day unpaid to care for a dependent? I have tried talking on the phone with them but have had a very blunt and cold response. As far as they are concerned it is my problem and that my only option is to take it to a tribunal.
Has anyone heard of the scenario before? I really don’t know what to do or if I really have any options.

About a month ago I saw a geneticist for Ehlers Danlos Syndrome and at it he strongly suggested I see a cardiologist, even heavily implied me not having ever seen one was neglectful on my past medical team's part. I figured it was for POTs since that's what all EDS patients tend to have so I wasn't too worried.
Last week I got my care summary and it said from my past ecgs (mind you my last one was in '21 and every ecg I showed was from ER vists) it looks like I have a left bundle branch block, then in big bold lettering " ECHOCARDIOGRAM TO ASSESS VALVES AND AORTIC DIMENSIONS "
(probably stupid on my part but) I went and googled this given I had zero clue what this was and not once in my life had I been told I had this, and with my syncope and family history I am legit terrified. Nearly everyone on my dad's mother's side has died from sudden heart attacks, which worries me even further.
Is this diagnosis really that serious? Am I going to need a pacemaker? Really any explanation good or bad will be greatly appreciated, all these unknowns are making me so anxious..

Had a miscarriage at 9 weeks. Just had a letter to say the tissue was checked under the microscope and it is highly suspicious that I had a partial molar pregnancy.
I’m just confused as we went through IVF ICSI, only had the egg fertilised by only 1 sperm. Everything I’ve read online, and from the booklet received from the hospital, says that a partial molar pregnancy occurs when the egg is fertilised by 2 sperm.
We also had 3 scans which showed a healthy heartbeat.
So confused and lost - the nurse I spoke to was also clueless.
Any help would be greatly appreciated, thank you.

Hello,
I have a question regarding inheritance law. My biological father is German. I have only met this person a couple of times as a child but have not seen him in about 25 years. I live in America and have dual citizenship. My mother is German.
Apparently, he passed away 6 months ago. I found out about this about 3 months ago by accident, nobody made me aware of it. I reached out to a distant relative to confirm it and at that time provided my address as they said they might need it while dealing with this matter. I wasn't expecting an inheritance since I didn't know this man.
Yesterday, one of his siblings reached out and said that I should be getting a letter from the courts with an offer of an inheritance. She said to decline it as he had a mountain of debt. From what I had heard from my mother, that sounds about right, so I was not surprised. However, it seems everyone else in that family has already received letters and declined and I am the only one who has not. I am getting very nervous as I do not want to get stuck with the debt of a stranger. I see online there is a deadline of how long you have to decline. 6 weeks./6 months depending on if you are overseas or not. Is this from the time of death? Or the time of receipt of the letter from the court? Is there any way I can preemptively decline in case the letter was lost?
I do not care about any inheritance, even if there was money, I just would rather not deal with this at all but since I have to, are there forms I can fill out right now and send to this court?
any help is appreciated.

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Edit: If you are going to comment on the length of this post, please don't. This is not a simple snark but rather an actual critical think piece about feminism and Taylor Swift.

Introduction

Pertaining to Taylor Swift, "Female Rage" has deviated from its intended meaning after Swift debuted a new performance of The Tortured Poets Department during the Eras Tour. Now, according to Swift's use of the phrase, female rage is interpreted as public backlash against Swift's dating choices rather than as a response to the broader injustices against women and women's rights. This post examines Taylor Swift's flawed feminism, philanthropy, branding, and the controversial trademark petition for the phrase "Female Rage: The Musical". Swift's background as an entertainer, indeterminate politics, and alignment with capitalism over feminism pervades her legacy, again threatening her public tolerance as not just an individual but as a brand.

Once Upon a Female Rage...

If you were cognizant in the early 2010's, you've heard countless jabs at Taylor Swift in the media. Magazines, radio, or online. Music critics did not take her seriously as a songwriter; parents put a woman on an unrealistic pedestal as the ideal role model for their children; she dated too much and used men as lyrical fodder. No matter the story, it inevitably spread, conjoined with everyone's respective opinions, and you'd be left to wonder, "Why does everyone hate this girl so much?"
Taylor's target demographic has always been young or adolescent girls, more so when Swift herself was one. She made music that spoke to the awkward misfit, cultivating a para-social relationship with fans on MySpace, then later twitter, Instagram, and YouTube, where Taylor posted relatable vlogs showcasing the life of a homegrown American girl. Taylor had a delayed public "growing up" and, compared to her female pop contemporaries, Swift never "gratuitously sexualized her image and seems pathologically averse to controversy" (and, apparently, never even had a sip of alcohol until she turned 21). She was more than happy to spin this narrative to allude to an inherent moral superiority above other women in the industry (Better Than Revenge, heard of it?), engaging in the very slut-shaming that she herself endured (the Madonna and Whore archetypes). The victim complex arose with the need to prove Taylor as a different type of pop girl. Based upon her holy and clean image, Swift had been dubbed "a feminist's nightmare", and that "[To Swift] other girls are obstacles; undeserving enemies who steal Taylor’s soulmates with their bewitching good looks and sexual availability." Feminism and Tennessee-Christian country values don't exactly mix, it seems.
Years later, Swift befriended Lena Dunham and thus experienced white feminism osmosis, where Dunham taught Swift that real feminists defend rapists, makes insensitive jokes about rape and abortion, and prioritize all-white casts. Swift then declared herself a feminist in 2014, saying,

"Becoming friends with Lena – without her preaching to me, but just seeing why she believes what she believes, why she says what she says, why she stands for what she stands for – has made me realize that I’ve been taking a feminist stance without actually saying so."

I suppose the male-centric songwriting subject that permeates Swift's discography contained covert feminism and that we just didn't see that. Perhaps, the "Bad Blood" song and music video were written only in jest and not about poor Katy Perry, for Swift, as a feminist, would "never make it a girl fight" or tear other women down (though all Katy did was date your terrible ex-boyfriend and allegedly steal three backup dancers from your tour). In 2013, Swift said, in response to Tina Fey and Amy Poehler's joke towards her serial dating, "There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women."
There was that time in 2015 Taylor said that Nicki Minaj was "invited to any stage [she is] on" (as if Taylor expects to have access to every stage, award, and platform that Nicki might not otherwise have as a black female artist...yikes!) in response to Nicki's criticism of the white + thin VMA nominations. Later, Nicki responded with confusion, as Swift continued, "It’s unlike you to pit women against each other. Maybe one of the men took your slot..". Of course, this 'beef' was 'squashed' when Nicki performed with Taylor at the VMAs, with Nicki quite literally only having 38 seconds of stage time without Taylor. Maybe all that parading around with a legion of famous white women - similar to the way Taylor might've done with her numerous 1989-era handbags - was in fact a stance against gender inequality, and that this display of "girl power" should be enough to constitute Swift as a feminist icon.
Even while Swift says that Dunham informed her feminist outlook, she dances around the exact contents of those beliefs: "what she believes, what she says, what she stands for" is not exactly insightful towards what beliefs Swift might have inherited. Taylor never broaches women's rights topics such femicide, FGM, forced pregnancy & marriage, sex trafficking, women in slavery, women's financial and political oppression, women's educational rights, women's health, or women's autonomy, so we can assume she only gives a fuck about "girls supporting girls" (whatever that fucking means).
Despite some questionable (and sometimes vindictive) behavior, Taylor as a young woman did not deserve every media lashing that she received. We cannot deny that most headlines and criticisms perpetuated a misogynistic rhetoric which has plagued Swift for a majority of her career. Acknowledging events such as the development of her ED, her sexual assault trial, "Famous" lyric and MV depiction of Taylor, and the explicit Twitter deepfakes, for example, as both disgusting and unfortunate things that happened to a young woman in Hollywood does not negate the fact that Taylor is mostly a performative feminist.

Get Your Fucking Ass Up and Be a Philanthropist, It Seems Like Nobody Wants to Be a Philanthropist These Days

In 2013, Taylor Swift cut the ribbon at the grand opening of the Taylor Swift Education Center at the Country Music Hall of Fame in Nashville, Tennessee. The donation amount - $4 million - was the largest individual artist gift ever donated to the Country Music Hall of Fame, which is, of course, mentioned on Swift's website. The two-story facility features three classrooms, an instrument room, and an interactive children's exhibit gallery. Swift also performed at "All for the Hall" charity shows and has donated numerous artifacts from her career (such as notable guitars, tour costumes, etc) to the museum.
This was over 11 years ago, and it is still the only notable philanthropic contribution Taylor Swift has made.
For a woman of her net worth and stature, and a woman who recognizes the difficulties for women in film and music, you would think that Taylor Swift might establish a scholarship program for women to study the arts or something. Perhaps Swift might even consider becoming a member of organizations that support female artists, or one that supports LGBTQ+ causes (since she is now proudly an ally), yet she remains superficial with her graces. Broader philanthropy, such as donating relief aid to Palestinian women or women impacted by violence and discrimination will probably never receive any financial support from Miss Swift because then she'd be using her money towards philanthropies involving anyone but white entertainers.
She even says herself in Miss Americana, "My entire moral code as a kid and now is a need to be thought of as 'good'." Well, she's certainly thought of as good, though her actions say otherwise. She's more than happy to do a vaguely altruistic song and dance for a clip-worthy interview quote and mass appeasement, then fuck off to one of her mansions on a 20 minute private jet flight, rather than actually contribute to anything pertaining to the causes she has endorsed. Yet, far too many people continue to give a woman such as her their money, time, and energy, and she hoards these resources to herself.

I Like Some of the Taylor's Songs, But What the Fuck Does She Know About Feminism?

Swift continued with her self-proclaimed feminist campaign, positioning herself as a political activist and LGBTQ+ ally in the Miss Americana documentary. The primary focus of the documentary consists of the sexual assault trial, Andrea Swift's cancer diagnosis, Taylor's ED and body dysmorphia, media scrutiny, and, largely, finally speaking up about her politics publicly, mostly her opposition to the 2018 Tennessee Republican senate candidate, Marsha Blackburn, and Blackburn's beliefs. Swift says, following a scene discussing her experience during the trial,

"I just couldn't really stop thinking about it. And I just thought to myself, next time there is any opportunity to change anything, you had better know what you stand for and what you want to say."

We must ask ourselves, though: when has Swift ever spoken up to change anything? Okay, pulling her entire catalogue from Spotify because they didn't pay their artists enough and similarly pulling her catalogue from Apple Music are changes that she leveraged due to her revenue potential and power, but they are not pertinent to the average woman's rights. Moreover, these are issues that directly impacted Taylor's income, which was enough reason for her to protest in the first place. Swift has sold the most units for a female artist in first week sales, is the first female artist with 100k monthly Spotify listeners, is the first female artist to win the Album of the Year Grammy 4 times, and is the first female artist to do X, Y, and Z, all while being inoffensive and family-friendly to boot. The actual Taylor Swift seems unwilling to compromise the brand of Taylor Swift by contributing in meaningful ways to feminist causes, especially if it is for women outside of America and Hollywood.
The reason political anthems such as "The Man" and "Only the Young" of the Lover era feel disingenuous and corporate is because, well, it is. Taylor has taken every opportunity to advance her career or public image at the expense of other women. What is truly genuine to Taylor's outlook on other women is vying for male attention, taking down female competition, and vocalizing feminist injustices only if they directly impact her and her money. Some will argue that it's satisfactory for a woman with such a huge platform to even TALK about feminism, but that just isn't enough. It's even less impressive when you candidly look at the scope of her feminist lens: "If I was the man, then I'd be THE MAN", or "I really resent the ‘Be careful, buddy, she’s going to write a song about you’ angle, because it trivialises what I do", and, of course, "We all got crowns". Feminism, but only when it happens to me. It gets worse when you look at Taylor's track record of copying other famous women and removing other female artists as potential threats to her pop prowess.
It's good for PR to align yourself with certain blanket feminist and political beliefs, therefore good for branding, therefore good for ticketing and merchandise sales, therefore good for business. And Taylor Swift is a business.
She's not a feminist. Taylor Swift is a capitalist.

I Can't Pay Those Sweatshop Workers a Livable Wage or Benefits! How Else Would I Make My Billions?

Recently, Taylor's team filed to trademark the phrase "Female Rage: The Musical" after Taylor said during Paris N1 of the Eras Tour,

"So you were the first ones to see The Tortured Poets at the Eras Tour...or as I like to call it, 'Female Rage: The Musical'."

This trademark petition was filed last week on Saturday, and news comes about just as numerous unofficial fan-made merch designs have cropped up with this phrase plastered on Fruit of the Loom basics. I'm of the opinion Swift's team motioned for a trademark so that they can send out cease & desists to all those that make knockoff merch, which disrupts potential sales for Bravado, UMG's choice merchandising company; however, since it was filed earlier, perhaps Swift has bigger plans with the bizarre use of the gendered phrase. One Swiftie referred to the phrase "female rage" as "a funny Eras Tour joke". Could it be a possible fourth version of the Eras Tour Movie? Whatever the reason, the motion to capitalize off of such a concept is disgusting, but not unsurprising, for a woman that profits on her vain feminism.
Swift, through her company, TAS Rights Managements, has also trademarked over 200 phrases, including "1989", where she owns the property rights to this calendar year on keychains, phone cases, sunglasses, stationary, bags, beverage ware, clothing, entertainment services, your subconscious, and, of course, Christmas ornaments.
The vapid consumerism in Swiftie culture is, frankly, disgusting. Bravado's sustainability statement is non-existent, the quality control is abysmal, and the materials they use are horrible. The materials, such as acrylic and polyester, are made from petrochemicals. This means they are non-renewable, shed microplastics, and are quite toxic in production. The manufacturing process to make all of those lazy-rushed Eras Tour logo graphic tees is a huge blow to environmental well-being. Apparently, though, Swifties don't give a fuck. They sell out products in seconds and either have to face the manufactured scarcity or buy from a scalper that resells for 200% of the already ridiculous retail price. This doesn't include the environmental impact of vinyl records, CD, and cassette production, of which Taylor produces many variants that sell unsustainable amounts.
If we're talking about women's rights violations, why is no one acknowledging the women that work in the inhumane sweatshop conditions that have to pump out fugly t-shirts and hats? The millions of plastic microfiber dander they are inhaling, or the toxic dyes that touch their bare skin? Are they being compensated fairly for their skilled labour and are they in safe working environments? Do these women have minimal bargaining power, and do they have authority over their worker's rights? Is Taylor Swift female raging at their injustices? Does Taylor Swift ever feels bad that her wealth was built on the backs of women of color, disadvantaged by the demands of the global economy and garment industry? Do you think she ever says a little white feminist prayer for them before she goes to sleep at night?
What's even crazier is not that Taylor herself doesn't care, it's that Swifties don't care. There CANNOT BE ethical billionaires. You only make a billion dollars if you are exploiting other human beings for capital gain. Based on public perception of the possible "Female Rage: The Musical" trademark, it seems like Swifties are already asking for merch with this phrase. "If Taylor made it, I'd buy it." Oh, cool. So not only do you champion Miss Swift's avarice and billionaire status, but you also are unashamed to admit to your blind consumption of her music and merchandise, no matter where they might originate in production or sincerity. Just as Swift takes and takes and takes, Swifties' consumerism of Taylor Swift cannot be quelled.
The tortured artist's most vulnerable and sincere poetry...available now in 21 different versions!

I Am Tortured Poet, Hear Me Whinge

Look - even if Taylor's intention is to characterize TTPD as more "tortured" and "angry", the main thread of the album is "I was ghosted by my decade-long situationship with a controversial indie boy and my fucking stupid fans wrote a 'Speak Up Now' open letter prompting me to drop him" anger, which is adequately expressed in the lyrics and performances. The extent of Taylor's "female rage" on TTPD is on tracks such as "Who's Afraid of Little Old Me?", which contends with relentless media scrutiny; "But Daddy I Love Him", where Swift firmly states she'll date whoever she likes no matter how "Sarahs and Hannahs" may react; and "The Albatross", a track mythologizing her reputation and the consequences of dating her. Of course, these coincide with deep psychological wounds that formed during Swift's early years in the media, and so, from her feminist perspective, these subjects tackle the misogyny and double standards that she faced.
Yet Taylor Swift still has no grounds to be claiming that TTPD best exemplifies female rage and therefore she, in the context of this album, is female rage incarnate. As the daughter of a stock broker and mutual fund marketing executive, Taylor was born into wealth and allowed privileges like trips and subsequent relocation to Nashville all so that she might get a record deal. Her father even invested at least $120,000 into the then-fledgling label, Big Machine Records, which ensured Taylor's place with Borchetta after leaving her dead-end development deal with Sony. The fact that her parents were able to buy her a fucking brand new guitar for Christmas and pay for music lessons says so much about the financial security and safety of her childhood.
Money is privilege and protection, and despite Swift's experiences with misogyny and loser boyfriends, she does not know what female rage is.
Her rage is derived from her frustrations with her obsessive fans pulling the moral superiority card on Taylor in response to her rebound with Matty Healy. That's literally it. She's just pissed that the monster she created is no longer obediant, it's become a feral, sovereign entity that depletes the world of its natural resources and thinks it is more intelligent than it actually is because it's mommy has started to talk to it with big words. Apparently, 'illicit', 'elegy', 'nonchalant', and 'precocious' are considerably big words for the oafish monster, and I find it strange that this level of literacy is present in a group of fans that allegedly have GPAs of 3.5 or higher, but I digress.
Taylor Swift has never been one paycheck away from destitution. Taylor Swift has never experienced racial discrimination. She may have instances of gender discrimination, but she possesses the ideal white, blonde American beauty standard and therefore reaps the benefits of being a conventionally attractive woman. Taylor Swift has sufficient social capital. Taylor Swift is a billionaire woman prolonging her victimhood though she, as a woman, has mostly had control over her image and music (unlike her contemporaries). Taylor Swift is NOT entitled to be championed for her "female rage", nor should she be. Taylor Swift has never even been the struggling artist, for fuck's sake. I don't give a fuck if she's trying to fill the empty lunch tables of her past. Taylor Swift purporting herself, her unpolished album, and her lukewarm feminism as a musical bleeding with female rage is asinine.

Sigh Try and Come For My Job, Poors

Out there in the world right now is a 23-year-old woman, a recent college grad, who works as a barista. She has to wake up and get ready to go into a minimum wage job because she cannot get a job in her field. She doesn't have healthcare benefits or sick time, so she has to go into work no matter how she's feeling. All day long she is berated by vicious customers and creepy men, and, exhausted from being on her feet, she knows she has to go home to her shitty roommate that never does the dishes and her roommate's shitty dog. To comfort herself, she considers getting a treat, but thinks against it when she remembers that matcha lattes cost $15 and they taste like milky dirt. She knows that she needs to buy groceries this week, and so the woman resolves to go home, but notices that her gas tank is low. She goes to put gas in the car, but the pump stops at $27.86 because that's all that she has in her checking account. The woman, bereft and reeling, sinks into the driver's seat. "Well," she thinks, her head in her hands, "at least I don't have Taylor Swift's job. I just couldn't imagine."
Fame is somewhat of a choice. If at any moment Taylor feels that she is misunderstood, misconstrued, or overwhelmed by public opinion, she can LEAVE the public eye - Lord knows she has the retirement fund and residuals to do so. In "I Can Do It With a Broken Heart", the TTPD song about meeting the demands of your career-zenith mega-tour while in the relationship trenches, Taylor ends the song by rambling,

"You know you're good when you can even do it with a broken heart...you know you're good...and I'm good, cause I'm miserable, and no one even knows!...try and come for my job."

Yeah, obviously we wouldn't know, you recently passed the billionaire threshold and are the most famous and in-demand performer in the world right now. Taylor Swift makes an estimated $10 to $13 million dollars A NIGHT on the Eras Tour. Furthermore, the Eras Tour movie grossed $261.6 million globally, (which, as the producer, Taylor takes home 57% of the ticket sales) not counting the streaming revenue from Amazon Prime Video and the estimated $75 million deal that Disney paid to have it on Disney+. We're not even considering the income from cheap plastic popcorn buckets and drink cups plastered with colored squares in her Era-specific likeness.
It's funny. Taylor Swift often said that being famous wasn't hard, that she "isn't complaining". I'm sure it is difficult to always have to present in a good mood, else you'll end up misrepresented in the media, and I'm sure it's invasive to virtually have no privacy or semblance of anonymity. Still, Taylor Swift shows up each night of tour and performs. For a majority of her career, she has penned her sad songs while on the road. Most of "Red", her breakup album, was written in the thick of the Speak Now World tour. Now, some Swifties say they almost "feel bad" for attending the Eras Tour with Swift's revelations in this song, that they have had a 'dimmed experience' upon hearing Taylor's misery whilst performing. Despite the fact that Taylor said that "this was the happiest she's ever been" at Gilette Stadium in May, the lyrics "boohoo, woe is me, smile for the cameras and make the fans happy!!!" are jarring for Eras attendees.
While Taylor Swift was making double-digit millions a night in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil and feeling miserable, Ana Clara Benevides Machado passed away due to heat exposure. The concert promoters, Time For Fun, are now the subject of a criminal investigation due to their lack of adequate hydration and safety. Taylor Swift cancelled the Sunday show that was to follow and offered VIP tent tickets to Benevides Marchado's family, which was a kind gesture, but perhaps incongruous to the incident of which they were offered as consolation. Everyone grieves differently, of course, but I'm not sure attending the very show at the very same venue that my daughter or sister passed away in two days prior, where the singer CONTINUED the show despite her death, would be healthy for closure.
There was no female rage at the show as Swift never saw Benevides Machado pass out. There was no female rage towards the disregard for fans as humans while Swift elected to proceed with her Brazil tour dates despite the country being in historic heatwaves (at risk of overheatting herself). If Taylor Swift was so shaken by touring with a broken heart or a fan's passing, she wouldn't have added an additional North American leg of Eras just two months after the Matty breakup. She's brokenhearted but willing to mend the cracks with your money and move onward with her worldwide female rage induced pillaging.
No matter what happens, even if you die at a Taylor Swift concert, Taylor collects a big fat check and flies away. She doesn't know you as anything other than a conversion rate or earning potential despite what her nearly 20-year long parasocial relationship with fans might otherwise indicate. She knows that, while some Swifties are without disposable income, they feel obligated to spend on a "48 Hours Only!" exclusive vinyl variant instead of necessities because they are so entrenched in Taylor Swift's intoxicating celebrity, they'll prioritize materialistic fandom before their needs. This is good enough for her because this means she can expand her real estate portfolio and finance her cat's lavish lifestyles. They're worth an estimated $100 million dollars. Her three cats could pool their net worth and solve world hunger.
While you and I might be denied bereavement leave and barely surviving the current political and economic climate, Taylor Swift has to, instead of gets to, perform for stadiums at full attendance for three nights in a row across the globe. You and I might be replaced by AI at our longtime jobs, but Taylor Swift is threatened with losing more and more money each time you listen to a "Stolen Version" of her songs. If we don't buy every variant of all of her albums, then who is going to pay for the fucking cats?
It is tone deaf to spend as she spends and lives as she lives in this economy, but this is her reality. She was able to donate $100,000 to all of her tour truck drivers, and that's wonderful, but it leads me to wonder about the ethos of the 2020s where one woman can hoard such life-changing amounts of money. Remember in 2014 when she gave a fan $90 ($120 in today's money) to get Chipotle because she had no fucking clue how much it cost? This is a 34-year-old woman who is increasingly out of touch with the reality for working class people and women in general. Normal everyday adults must wake up and go to their thankless jobs, and yet Taylor Swift, despite all her riches, incessantly references the lows of her life and career as a public figure and entertainer to farm sympathy and drive sales. And still, the corporate women have latched onto "I cry a lot, but I am so productive! It's an art!" as their cubicle battle cry.
Do you think that, from up in her private jet, Taylor Swift gazes at the world through her poetic, tortured eyes, and thinks, "All the little people, in their cars, walking, going about their lives...all those girls that don't support girls...do they know that I've made an album about female rage?"

Conclusion/TLDR

Thank you for reading. I would love to hear your critical insights towards this entire ordeal: TTPD, the trademark, the implications of it all.
TLDR: Taylor Swift is a bad feminist and is delusional to think that the TTPD eras set exemplifies female rage at women's injustice.

Ciao🍋
I'm Elle - 25+, F, 10+ years experience, staunch purple prose hater. if we already write and you see me posting this, i'm not replacing you - i just have a lot of ideas and want to find more people i'm compatible with.
WHAT I WANT TO WRITE:
(bolded means i'd rather play. if none is bolded i have no preference.)
- --- ATTACK ON TITAN - ---

• f!oc x m!oc (military police x survey corps member OR scientist x survey corps member OR medic x survey corps member for example)
• marleyan f!oc x marleyan m!oc
• paradis oc x marleyan oc
• erwin smith x f!oc or minor canon
• zeke yeager x f!oc or pieck finger
• porco galliard x f!oc or pieck finger
• levi ackerman x f!oc (bonus points if it's a warrior f!oc)
• jean kirstein x hitch dreyse
• reiner braun x f!oc (a bit selective with this one, need to discuss plot ideas first)
• jean kirstein x f!oc
• erwin smith x f oc (a bit selective in the sense that i love writing erwin but i only write specific ships)
• zeke yeager x f!oc
• mike zacharias x f!oc or minor canon
• gunther schultz x f!oc or minor canon
• eld gin x f!oc or minor canon
• hanji/hange zoe x levi ackerman

- --- JUJUTSU KAISEN - ---

• yuji itadori x f!oc
• kento nanami x f!oc
• takuma ino x f!oc
• maki zenin x - m!canon (takuma, megumi, etc) or m!oc
• akari nitta x - m!canon or m!oc
• satoru gojo x utahime lori
• satoru gojo x f!oc (selective, need to plot first)
• suguru geto x f!oc (selective, need to plot first)
• megumi fushiguro x f!oc
• nobara kugisaki x m!oc
• kento nanami x f!oc
• kento nanami x shoko leiri
• shoko leiri x m!oc
• hiromi higuruma x f!oc
• toji fushiguro x f!oc

WHAT I EXPECT FROM YOU

• You're 18+. absolutely no minors, please.
• You're willing to jump straight into things - it's the best way to know if we'll be compatible and want the same plots.
• You'll always share your ideas (even if you're hesitant or self-conscious - I'm too, and I always make sure to put in the effort so I fully expect the same from my writing partners).
• You're ok filling out ship/character memes because they are my bread and butter. I don't require us to talk every day or even about our lives, but I NEED us to headcanon and share ideas. If you give me monosyllabic answers, I'll soft block you. If we started talking and I stopped replying it's probably because of this.
• You're interested in having more than one plot/ship. I ’m only interested in writing with partners who will double up and/or write a mutimuse with me.
• You don't hate writing male characters - I greatly enjoy writing both men and women and I can very clearly tell when someone wants to double up. I WILL soft-block immediately.
• You know when to rapid-fire and when to write long descriptive threads and don't care about word counts. I can write a lot but I hate ending up with a thread that has 10 different lines of dialogue because it's messy as hell, also just because a reply is lengthy doesn't mean it has quality or substance.
• You'll let me know if you want to drop things. I don't require constant communication, but I value my time - please don't waste it.
• You'll actually be interested in getting to know the character(s) I write.
• You enjoy both realism and cliché/cringe tropes.
• If you reach out to me, please just dive right in and introduce yourself and let me know which ships you're interested in.

WHAT YOU CAN EXPECT FROM ME:

1. I'm a long-term writer. I've been writing some ships for 10 years. So yea, I'm not going anywhere.
2. I care. I truly do care about your characters and our ships. I will ask questions, I'll make moodboards, etc. I will literally send you memes and HCs and create Pinterest boards one hour after we start talking because I'm both stupid and unhinged. I’m not a nonchalant person.
3. Replies at best every two days, at worst once a week. If I'm busy, might take longer.
4. I don't have triggers so I'm willing to write a lot of things. Respect and communication are key though - also, absolutely no bigotry.
5. Idc about following canon too closely.
6. I love exploring characters in a very realistic way but I WILL conjugate that realism with more gringy elements. I also love writing characters in different ways: paras, letters, diary entries, drabbles, threads where no dialogue happens, etc.

That's it! Thank you for reading and don't forget to say hi if you're interested.

Hi, I hope you're doing well.
I was recently accepted into a master's program at a Swiss University and started my visa application process a few weeks ago. A few days ago, I received a letter from the Canton's Migration Office stating that to demonstrate my capability to finance my studies, I essentially need to open an account under my name with a financial institution residing in Switzerland. I am an international student and have sufficient funds to support myself in Switzerland (they require 2,000 CHF per month).
I have researched different banks online, but many of them require at least 1 to 3 million US dollars for non-Swiss residents. I am sorry if this question is repetitive, but I am truly desperate as I have less than 3 weeks to solve this problem or my visa application will be denied. I would greatly appreciate it if you could share your experience or help me understand how I can open a Swiss bank account from my home country.

Hey, I got a Vertux Commando keyboard. Not the most glamerous but it does its job well and I got it for free as a gift. But yesterday I decided to clean it for the first time since it got quite dusty. I carefully removed all the keycaps, and gently cleaned everything with a cotton bud and isopropyl alcohol, since that's what most stuff online advanced. After the cleanup yesterday stuff was fine but today the keyboard has a big double typing issue. Whenever I press keys they will randomly type 2-3 extra letters, this is not at all affected by the control panel keyboard settings for repeat rates and delay, the keyboard will type extra letters regardless of those settings.
I saw there was some online software out there on keyboard that eliminated this issue by forcing the keyboard to not be able to do more than one input in a press, however that also makes it impossible to hold keys down for stuff like games and other scenarios.
Any solutions?