Life cycle seed worksheet
Encouraging Progress since 2012
2012.12.11 05:43 Encouraging Progress since 2012
The Valhalla Challenge is a recovery game that helps people replace pornography use with self-care. We use proven recovery tools, including the wisdom traditions, neuroscience, and gamification. By focusing on the solution rather than the problem, we power ourselves up, change behaviors, and support our community.
2024.05.14 11:17 CockroachDecent7370 [REQUEST] [SWITCH] The Legend of Zelda :Breath of the Wild (£59.99, $79.98, €69.99) (Attempt 4)
Hello GOG community, this is my 4th attempt at requesting a popular game known as The Legend of Zelda : Breath of the Wild available only on the Nintendo Switch which released together on the 3rd of March 2017
Let's start with a short summary of what the game is all about The land of Hyrule is in trouble and after a whole century of (100 years) sleeping deeply (I need that) the hero known as Link awakes without any of his memories to the land and Zelda from a variant of Ganon (Calamity Ganon). Using the abilities that he gains from the various shrines spread across the entire region using a important item known as the Sheikah Slate (discount IPad) which is obtained at the beginning of the game. After getting the Master Sword (obtained from the Great Deku Tree located in the Lost Woods) Link will be able to beat the threat that is Calamity Ganon itself
Features present in the game itself The game contains a ton of things ranging from hidden items such as heart containers (which gives the player more health) to certain mechanics such as the durability that item has before it breaks apart. The game features shrines which have puzzles inside for the player to complete (most of the don't for some reason). Other stuff include upgrading gear, ride horses and breed them , hunting and gathering, pet the dawg (very important feature), talking with a large number of npcs, etc.
Why I want this particular game Not much to say here other than the expansive the world that game is set in with the freedom of going wherever I would want to as it is not a linear game by any means except for perhaps the tutorial, the length of how long it would take to bea- no, 100% the game is pretty intense seeing as how you would have to collect , complete, explore and beat a ton of things (the 900 Korok seed will scar me for life) throughout the massive map that Breath of the Wild contains which might take roughly around 150 or so hours maybe a couple weeks as I only play games in the weekends that arrive. From what I have heard from people who played the guy , they have said that the second village is very hard to find and get to, this adds to my increased interest of playing the game seeing as how I like a challenge.
The part that everyone puts in their posts The only reason why I can't get it for myself would be due to how poor I am at the moment, and the fact that I'm studying to earn money. I'll try to pay back if it is needed after I'm able to get a job but that will that some time
Friend Code SW-0818-7132-2612 (in the case that you want to check the amount of hours played or need it
The links where it is able to be purchased (digitally)
I found 2 amazon links for digital codes Amazon UK: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Legend-Zelda-Breath-Switch-Download/dp/B06WLJ24VT
Amazon US : Out of Stock : (will update if it is in stock again
A 70 euro giftcard for europe would also be appreciated but I don't know where to find one that could be bought .
Hoping that these work if it does happen, thanks
submitted by CockroachDecent7370 to GiftofGames [link] [comments]
Let's start with a short summary of what the game is all about The land of Hyrule is in trouble and after a whole century of (100 years) sleeping deeply (I need that) the hero known as Link awakes without any of his memories to the land and Zelda from a variant of Ganon (Calamity Ganon). Using the abilities that he gains from the various shrines spread across the entire region using a important item known as the Sheikah Slate (discount IPad) which is obtained at the beginning of the game. After getting the Master Sword (obtained from the Great Deku Tree located in the Lost Woods) Link will be able to beat the threat that is Calamity Ganon itself
Features present in the game itself The game contains a ton of things ranging from hidden items such as heart containers (which gives the player more health) to certain mechanics such as the durability that item has before it breaks apart. The game features shrines which have puzzles inside for the player to complete (most of the don't for some reason). Other stuff include upgrading gear, ride horses and breed them , hunting and gathering, pet the dawg (very important feature), talking with a large number of npcs, etc.
Why I want this particular game Not much to say here other than the expansive the world that game is set in with the freedom of going wherever I would want to as it is not a linear game by any means except for perhaps the tutorial, the length of how long it would take to bea- no, 100% the game is pretty intense seeing as how you would have to collect , complete, explore and beat a ton of things (the 900 Korok seed will scar me for life) throughout the massive map that Breath of the Wild contains which might take roughly around 150 or so hours maybe a couple weeks as I only play games in the weekends that arrive. From what I have heard from people who played the guy , they have said that the second village is very hard to find and get to, this adds to my increased interest of playing the game seeing as how I like a challenge.
The part that everyone puts in their posts The only reason why I can't get it for myself would be due to how poor I am at the moment, and the fact that I'm studying to earn money. I'll try to pay back if it is needed after I'm able to get a job but that will that some time
Friend Code SW-0818-7132-2612 (in the case that you want to check the amount of hours played or need it
The links where it is able to be purchased (digitally)
I found 2 amazon links for digital codes Amazon UK: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Legend-Zelda-Breath-Switch-Download/dp/B06WLJ24VT
Amazon US : Out of Stock : (will update if it is in stock again
A 70 euro giftcard for europe would also be appreciated but I don't know where to find one that could be bought .
Hoping that these work if it does happen, thanks
2024.05.14 11:14 SadDK54 Modelling internal metallic scrap recycling
 | Hello, submitted by SadDK54 to lifecycleassessment [link] [comments] I am working on a cradle to gate study of the production of metallic titanium parts by forging and machining. My study does not include the use phase and the end of life phase. During the manufacturing, many scraps are produced. Those scraps can be collected, sorted, cleaned and remelted to produce new ingots andcan therefore be considered as a co-products and not a waste. I wonder how I can model the “recycling” process of the scraps into new ingots. I know there are modelling rules for the end of life (avoided burden approach, cut-off approach, CFF…). - Does the same modelling rules apply on internal scrap recycling? - Does the recycling of those scraps make the need of less primary material in input if the scraps can be reused in the same process? - What if the scraps after recycling cannot be reused in the same process because the process is not certified to use recycled material? Can I get a credit for putting the scraps into the recycled material pool ? As an illustration, here is a figure from the “paper Impact of recycling effect in comparative life cycle assessment for materials selection - A case study of light-weighting vehicles” (https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jclepro.2022.131317). My question refer to the home scrap and process scrap referred as “c” and “d” arrows in the figure. https://preview.redd.it/gjh5ezedzc0d1.png?width=640&format=png&auto=webp&s=9cea6625db191e862664b53d61fca4a559ffa297 Thanks ! |
2024.05.14 11:06 expensivecookiee I found out my GF is an escort
I found out my GF is an escort
For context we both work together, and are together all the time. Sex was good, in fact she discovered her sexuality from me, we're both active, and goes hiking and cycling (I encouraged her to join me) and practically does what normal couples do.
I'm not the type of BF that goes through my partner's socmed or their phones, I give them my trust kaya sa una pa lang yun na ang non neg ko, break my trust and we're done. And we were ok, or so I thought.
This happened last year for almost 8 months I think from what she admitted. I first got this inkling that something was off when she bought an iPhone. Not that I belittle her, pero her salary isn't that high, I remembered telling her na baka naubos na savings niya because she bought it cash, she shrugged it off, I did not ask about it anymore.
She has this cousin who does modelling and she goes with her all the time. GF has got the looks and the body. She even asked if she can do one I agreed and supported her. That was done, so when we we're looking at the photos on her phone her cousin PMed her and she snatched the phone away from my hands like her life depended on it, that was the 2nd inkling I had. 3rd one was when I asked what is it about, she said it was about modelling and the terms there were beb and PR Idk what that means pero she was asking to get in to be one. But she sais it was some modelling stuff
Fast forward to yesterday, I dropped her off with her kid sa SM North, and uknowingly she left her phone, tumawag pa siya and humabol pa daw, but I didn't notice kasi traffic. So I called her, told her I can get it back (nakitext siya sa kiosk ng move it), sabi niya wag na, and just give it to her the next day.
Then something hit me, all those things that have bothered me came back. 1st one I saw, she was flirting with someone, asking when will they go out and stuff, she even said she's single. Now here's the A-BOMB
Remember the cousin? Their chat was a goldmine. So long story short she was fucking with an old guy. Sabi niya this happened 5-6times in the span of those 8 months. Naghahanap pa siya ng iba kasi parang matumal na yung isa. I sent her pictures of the convos, dineny pa niya, companionship lang daw. I told her nasa rel siya mag gaganun siya and she said she needed the money, for hospital bills ng father niya and yes she got hooked with the luxury it provided her.
I could've helped her with her father's bills.
This happened in the wee hours of the night, pagkahatid ko aalis siya ng madaling araw without me knowing.
Now she begs me to take her back. I dont want to, but part of me loves her still. Idk if this is still love or naaawa ako sa kanya.
Idk what to do. But yes I broke up with her.
submitted by expensivecookiee to OffMyChestPH [link] [comments]
For context we both work together, and are together all the time. Sex was good, in fact she discovered her sexuality from me, we're both active, and goes hiking and cycling (I encouraged her to join me) and practically does what normal couples do.
I'm not the type of BF that goes through my partner's socmed or their phones, I give them my trust kaya sa una pa lang yun na ang non neg ko, break my trust and we're done. And we were ok, or so I thought.
This happened last year for almost 8 months I think from what she admitted. I first got this inkling that something was off when she bought an iPhone. Not that I belittle her, pero her salary isn't that high, I remembered telling her na baka naubos na savings niya because she bought it cash, she shrugged it off, I did not ask about it anymore.
She has this cousin who does modelling and she goes with her all the time. GF has got the looks and the body. She even asked if she can do one I agreed and supported her. That was done, so when we we're looking at the photos on her phone her cousin PMed her and she snatched the phone away from my hands like her life depended on it, that was the 2nd inkling I had. 3rd one was when I asked what is it about, she said it was about modelling and the terms there were beb and PR Idk what that means pero she was asking to get in to be one. But she sais it was some modelling stuff
Fast forward to yesterday, I dropped her off with her kid sa SM North, and uknowingly she left her phone, tumawag pa siya and humabol pa daw, but I didn't notice kasi traffic. So I called her, told her I can get it back (nakitext siya sa kiosk ng move it), sabi niya wag na, and just give it to her the next day.
Then something hit me, all those things that have bothered me came back. 1st one I saw, she was flirting with someone, asking when will they go out and stuff, she even said she's single. Now here's the A-BOMB
Remember the cousin? Their chat was a goldmine. So long story short she was fucking with an old guy. Sabi niya this happened 5-6times in the span of those 8 months. Naghahanap pa siya ng iba kasi parang matumal na yung isa. I sent her pictures of the convos, dineny pa niya, companionship lang daw. I told her nasa rel siya mag gaganun siya and she said she needed the money, for hospital bills ng father niya and yes she got hooked with the luxury it provided her.
I could've helped her with her father's bills.
This happened in the wee hours of the night, pagkahatid ko aalis siya ng madaling araw without me knowing.
Now she begs me to take her back. I dont want to, but part of me loves her still. Idk if this is still love or naaawa ako sa kanya.
Idk what to do. But yes I broke up with her.
2024.05.14 11:06 expensivecookiee I found out my GF is an escort
I found out my GF is an escort
For context we both work together, and are together all the time. Sex was good, in fact she discovered her sexuality from me, we're both active, and goes hiking and cycling (I encouraged her to join me) and practically does what normal couples do.
I'm not the type of BF that goes through my partner's socmed or their phones, I give them my trust kaya sa una pa lang yun na ang non neg ko, break my trust and we're done. And we were ok, or so I thought.
This happened last year for almost 8 months I think from what she admitted. I first got this inkling that something was off when she bought an iPhone. Not that I belittle her, pero her salary isn't that high, I remembered telling her na baka naubos na savings niya because she bought it cash, she shrugged it off, I did not ask about it anymore.
She has this cousin who does modelling and she goes with her all the time. GF has got the looks and the body. She even asked if she can do one I agreed and supported her. That was done, so when we we're looking at the photos on her phone her cousin PMed her and she snatched the phone away from my hands like her life depended on it, that was the 2nd inkling I had. 3rd one was when I asked what is it about, she said it was about modelling and the terms there were beb and PR Idk what that means pero she was asking to get in to be one. But she sais it was some modelling stuff
Fast forward to yesterday, I dropped her off with her kid sa SM North, and uknowingly she left her phone, tumawag pa siya and humabol pa daw, but I didn't notice kasi traffic. So I called her, told her I can get it back (nakitext siya sa kiosk ng move it), sabi niya wag na, and just give it to her the next day.
Then something hit me, all those things that have bothered me came back. 1st one I saw, she was flirting with someone, asking when will they go out and stuff, she even said she's single. Now here's the A-BOMB
Remember the cousin? Their chat was a goldmine. So long story short she was fucking with an old guy. Sabi niya this happened 5-6times in the span of those 8 months. Naghahanap pa siya ng iba kasi parang matumal na yung isa. I sent her pictures of the convos, dineny pa niya, companionship lang daw. I told her nasa rel siya mag gaganun siya and she said she needed the money, for hospital bills ng father niya and yes she got hooked with the luxury it provided her.
I could've helped her with her father's bills.
This happened in the wee hours of the night, pagkahatid ko aalis siya ng madaling araw without me knowing.
Now she begs me to take her back. I dont want to, but part of me loves her still. Idk if this is still love or naaawa ako sa kanya.
Idk what to do. But yes I broke up with her.
submitted by expensivecookiee to OffMyChestPH [link] [comments]
For context we both work together, and are together all the time. Sex was good, in fact she discovered her sexuality from me, we're both active, and goes hiking and cycling (I encouraged her to join me) and practically does what normal couples do.
I'm not the type of BF that goes through my partner's socmed or their phones, I give them my trust kaya sa una pa lang yun na ang non neg ko, break my trust and we're done. And we were ok, or so I thought.
This happened last year for almost 8 months I think from what she admitted. I first got this inkling that something was off when she bought an iPhone. Not that I belittle her, pero her salary isn't that high, I remembered telling her na baka naubos na savings niya because she bought it cash, she shrugged it off, I did not ask about it anymore.
She has this cousin who does modelling and she goes with her all the time. GF has got the looks and the body. She even asked if she can do one I agreed and supported her. That was done, so when we we're looking at the photos on her phone her cousin PMed her and she snatched the phone away from my hands like her life depended on it, that was the 2nd inkling I had. 3rd one was when I asked what is it about, she said it was about modelling and the terms there were beb and PR Idk what that means pero she was asking to get in to be one. But she sais it was some modelling stuff
Fast forward to yesterday, I dropped her off with her kid sa SM North, and uknowingly she left her phone, tumawag pa siya and humabol pa daw, but I didn't notice kasi traffic. So I called her, told her I can get it back (nakitext siya sa kiosk ng move it), sabi niya wag na, and just give it to her the next day.
Then something hit me, all those things that have bothered me came back. 1st one I saw, she was flirting with someone, asking when will they go out and stuff, she even said she's single. Now here's the A-BOMB
Remember the cousin? Their chat was a goldmine. So long story short she was fucking with an old guy. Sabi niya this happened 5-6times in the span of those 8 months. Naghahanap pa siya ng iba kasi parang matumal na yung isa. I sent her pictures of the convos, dineny pa niya, companionship lang daw. I told her nasa rel siya mag gaganun siya and she said she needed the money, for hospital bills ng father niya and yes she got hooked with the luxury it provided her.
I could've helped her with her father's bills.
This happened in the wee hours of the night, pagkahatid ko aalis siya ng madaling araw without me knowing.
Now she begs me to take her back. I dont want to, but part of me loves her still. Idk if this is still love or naaawa ako sa kanya.
Idk what to do. But yes I broke up with her.
2024.05.14 10:58 Gnueless An update on The Nexus Compendium: No worries, I'm still here!
Hi there! It's been a while since I posted directly about The Nexus Compendium, but given that we're closing in on the site being active for 6 years (in 2 weeks, in fact: May 28, 2018), I felt that I needed to get real with you folks.
... that is, with a few exceptions.
However, what I wanted to share is that I've actually been tracking if there was a system in regards to repeating rotations. And, while there has been a lot of repetition going on in 2023, 2024 has hammered in the point with 10 inch nails: The Rotations are completely the same as the same dates for 2023. That is, the Rotation for tomorrow - May 15, 2024 - will 100% be the same as May 15, 2023.
As such, a thing I'd love to sneak into the site is to retire the current Predictions-page, as it really doesn't make any sense anymore, given that the Sales aren't updating anymore. Instead, I'd like to try and open for the ability to see into the next full year of expected Rotations, by going off the logic that it'll keep repeating. Naturally, these will have a very visible disclaimer of NOT yet being confirmed, which is primarily important, if I'm delayed with adding a new cycle's Rotation.
For more information about the idea, I recently did a post, based on the research of Elitesparkle and myself:
The point being: If you have ideas about a good matching Set of items (Skins, Mounts and/or Banners), let me hear it. Previous post with details can be found here: https://www.reddit.com/heroesofthestorm/comments/wgqsi2/nexus_compendium_preparing_for_collection_sets/
That said, I've still been updating the site, whenever a new patch revealed changes to existing Skins and Mounts, and I'll keep doing that as well.
I'm still here, lurking - and posting a bit, every once in a while, when I sniff up something, that fits the objectives that The Nexus Compendium was meant to fulfill.
submitted by Gnueless to heroesofthestorm [link] [comments]
The Elekk in the Room: Lack of Updates
To get the obvious things out of the way first: Yes, I've more or less burned out of developing the Nexus Compendium further. It's not likely to get any significant additions, depending on what the future of Heroes of the Storm is.... that is, with a few exceptions.
Free-to-Play Rotations: Predictions
Those that check the site knows that I keep adding the new Free-to-Play Rotations, as close to the updates on the 1st, 8th, 15th and 22nd of every month as life allows of me - and have been doing that since before the site was started. It's a task that I've taken very seriously, as a way to show my dedication to the game and it's community: You guys.However, what I wanted to share is that I've actually been tracking if there was a system in regards to repeating rotations. And, while there has been a lot of repetition going on in 2023, 2024 has hammered in the point with 10 inch nails: The Rotations are completely the same as the same dates for 2023. That is, the Rotation for tomorrow - May 15, 2024 - will 100% be the same as May 15, 2023.
As such, a thing I'd love to sneak into the site is to retire the current Predictions-page, as it really doesn't make any sense anymore, given that the Sales aren't updating anymore. Instead, I'd like to try and open for the ability to see into the next full year of expected Rotations, by going off the logic that it'll keep repeating. Naturally, these will have a very visible disclaimer of NOT yet being confirmed, which is primarily important, if I'm delayed with adding a new cycle's Rotation.
For more information about the idea, I recently did a post, based on the research of Elitesparkle and myself:
The Collection: Adding the idea of Sets
The idea about Collection Sets has existed, and been underway, for... well, ages. But, I have the data, I just need to get it shown. Something that just took way longer than I expected, and something that I intend to get done. Eventually.The point being: If you have ideas about a good matching Set of items (Skins, Mounts and/or Banners), let me hear it. Previous post with details can be found here: https://www.reddit.com/heroesofthestorm/comments/wgqsi2/nexus_compendium_preparing_for_collection_sets/
That said, I've still been updating the site, whenever a new patch revealed changes to existing Skins and Mounts, and I'll keep doing that as well.
TL;DR
The Nexus Compendium is in a kind of hiatus, but is still being updated with Free-to-Play Rotations and changes to the Collection. A few other updates will be added, at some point in the unknown future.I'm still here, lurking - and posting a bit, every once in a while, when I sniff up something, that fits the objectives that The Nexus Compendium was meant to fulfill.
2024.05.14 10:56 Numerous_Chemist_631 I have issues in persisting can anyone guide me
So I have been interested in LOA, manifestations for many years, to change my life completely. I thought its magical that how people are getting their desires by techniques and stuff. i always believe anything is possible. searched about it, every techniques, subliminal, meditation(everyday for 6 months i tried.) and what not but after years of practicing. i haven't reached anywhere. i have heard/read at multiple occasions that at max it take few months to get your desires in reality. I am in this for more than 3 years now. and even after all the failures I still believe i can turn it around, i am trying to locate my issue. And i don't know but i have noticed a pattern of sort i guess it is that i easily get bored of these techniques. for few days i listen subliminals and then after some time I'll get bore, feeling of tiredness start to surround me and i stop doing it. but again after few days I'll try something else in hope of that this time I'll persist, that I'll get it. like affirmations, I'll write them, will try to read them by making a time frame, but in few days my urge to do this is gone. I feel weirdly numb, boring. i make Pinterest vision boards, would decide to see them before sleeping but again after some days it feel like a chore that i have no interest in. has happened multiple times sometimes because the exact opposite of desires happen like couldn't clear a exam, i want to clear with a high rank(I stopped meditation completely after this, was devasted) etc. but most of the time, i don't know why my urge dies. same with self concept I feel tired of repeating stuff in my mind, and then i am unable to do any efforts, but then I bounce back to manifesting, finding something, getting tired of it, cycle repeats.
everyone says persistence is very important. keep persisting etc. but I can't somehow. how do i resolve this. i tried reading books but they to bore me death, once i even started to take notes but i couldn't finish book. but then again i believe this is possible that when people says they changed overnight it is possible. and I always comeback at this, because anything is possible. But I can't persist, even if I force myself I would stumble to something that says you should enjoy manifesting. but I can't after certain time frame. can anyone help me, guide me, I'll be grateful
submitted by Numerous_Chemist_631 to NevilleGoddard2 [link] [comments]
everyone says persistence is very important. keep persisting etc. but I can't somehow. how do i resolve this. i tried reading books but they to bore me death, once i even started to take notes but i couldn't finish book. but then again i believe this is possible that when people says they changed overnight it is possible. and I always comeback at this, because anything is possible. But I can't persist, even if I force myself I would stumble to something that says you should enjoy manifesting. but I can't after certain time frame. can anyone help me, guide me, I'll be grateful
2024.05.14 10:53 shaneka69 CANCER ZODIAC - UNEXPECTED INCOME! TAROT READING MAY 2024
CANCER ZODIAC TAROT READING - UNEXPECTED INCOME MAY 2024
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2024.05.14 10:50 The_Way358 Essential Teachings: The Meaning and Purpose of Life
The Purpose of Life for Man
One of the most direct verses on the subject of "the meaning (or purpose) of (human) life" in the Bible can be found in Revelation:"Thou art worthy, O Lord, to receive glory and honour and power: for thou hast created all things, and for thy pleasure they are and were created."-Revelation 4:11This, of course, should prompt us to ask what exactly does God take pleasure in?
Conversely, what doesn't He take pleasure in?
"Wherewith shall I come before the Lord, and bow myself before the high God? shall I come before him with burnt offerings, with calves of a year old? Will the Lord be pleased with thousands of rams, or with ten thousands of rivers of oil? shall I give my firstborn for my transgression, the fruit of my body for the sin of my soul? He hath shewed thee, O man, what is good; and what doth the Lord require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God?"-Micah 6:6-8God does not take pleasure in mere outward religiosity and ritual, but rather finds honest acts of love towards Him and others as more important when pertaining to our fulfillment of what God expects from us as His creation. God takes great pleasure in us doing justice, loving mercy, and walking humbly with Him. This is what He requires of us. In other words...
"Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God, and keep his commandments: for this is the whole duty of man. For God shall bring every work into judgment, with every secret thing, whether it be good, or whether it be evil."-Ecclesiastes 12:13-14The Book of Ecclesiastes is an existential treatise on the futility of finding any meaning or fulfillment in life apart from God. In it, "the Preacher" (or "Teacher" in some translations) explores the limits of human experiences which may provide meaning or fulfillment in this life before the author of the book inevitably concludes that the only thing we can do that has any kind of meaning or permanence in the end is fearing God and keeping His commandments. The reason for this is because the march of time and our own mortality effectively make most human endeavors hevel. The Hebrew word "hevel" is translated as vanity in the King James.
The following is taken from BibleProject:
[...]In Hebrew, hevel literally refers to “vapor” or “smoke.” The teacher uses this word 38 times throughout the book of Ecclesiastes as a metaphor to describe how life is temporary and fleeting, like a wisp of smoke, but also how life is an enigma or paradox. Smoke appears solid, but when you try to grab it, it’s like nothing is there.
The Preacher gives us a "reality check" by demonstrating how time and death effectively make things like scientific and artistic discovery (1:10-11), mirth (2:1), alcohol (2:3), architecture (2:4), amassing property (2:7-8), and luxury (2:8) all hevel. Materialism and hedonism fail to fulfill, and though wisdom and righteousness are acknowledged by the preacher to be advantageous, the righteous and wise are still often victims of injustice and unfairness in the world while the wicked get to prosper and have longevity at times (1:13-18). Generally, your life will probably be better by living in the wisdom given in Proverbs (Ecc. 7:11-12; 9:13-18), but it's no guarantee that you will have a good life as bad things still happen to good people, and good things still happen to bad people. This isn't entirely "hevel" but it's confusing and disorienting because things don't always work out the way we think they should in this life.The author’s basic goal is to target all of the ways we try to build meaning and purpose in life apart from God and then let the teacher deconstruct them. The author thinks that people spend most of their time investing energy and emotion in things that ultimately have no lasting meaning or significance. And so he allows the teacher to give us a reality check.
Again, from BibleProject:
Fearing the Lord doesn’t guarantee success in this life, but it is the right thing to do, and ultimately God will clear the "hevel" and bring His justice on all we have done. Therefore, we ought to keep God's commandments.So what’s the way forward in the midst of all this hevel? Paradoxically, the teacher discovers that the key to truly enjoying life is accepting hevel, acknowledging that everything in your life is totally out of your control. About six different times, at the bleakest moments in his dialogue, the teacher suddenly talks about “the gift of God,” which is the enjoyment of the simple, good things in life such as friendship, family, a good meal, or a sunny day.
You and I can’t control the most important things in our lives. Nothing is guaranteed, and, strangely, that’s the beauty of it. When I adopt a posture of complete trust in God, it frees me to simply enjoy life as I actually experience it and not as I think it ought to be. In the end, even my expectations about life, my hopes and dreams, are all “hevel, hevel. Everything under the sun is hevel.”
The teacher’s words come to an end, and the author takes over, bringing the book to a close. He says that it is very important to hear what the teacher has to say. He likens the teacher’s words to a shepherd’s staff with a goad, a pointy end that will hurt when it pokes you. But that pain can ultimately steer you in the right direction towards greater wisdom.
The author warns us not to take the teacher’s words too far. You can spend your entire life buried in books trying to answer the existential puzzles of human life. Don’t exhaust yourself, he says. You’ll never get there. Instead, the author offers his own conclusion that we should “fear God and keep his commands; this is the whole duty of humans. For God will bring every deed into judgment, every hidden thing, whether good or evil” (Ec. 12:13-14).
Through Jesus, we see the Bible clearing the confusion many have, and still have, about God's commandments and what exactly they are (in essence, at least):
"Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets."-Matthew 22:37-40The apostle Paul puts it like this:
"For all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this; Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself."-Galatians 5:14The apostle John, like this:
"And we have known and believed the love that God hath to us. God is love; and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in him."-1 John 4:16In other words, the first and second greatest commandments can be seen as inextricably intertwined, as one cannot truly love God without loving their fellow man, and vice versa.
So, to put it bluntly, the meaning, or purpose, of (human) life according to the Bible is simply love.
"What Does It Mean to Love Biblically?"
But, what exactly is love anyway? We know that, according to the apostle John, God is love. But, what does that mean exactly?The ancient Greeks had anywhere between four and eight different words for love (depending on the source):
- Storge: affection
- Philia or Phileo: friendship
- Eros: sexual, erotic
- Agape: unconditional, divine, selfless
- Ludus: flirtatious, playful, casual, uncommitted
- Pragma: committed, long-standing
- Philautia: self-love
- Mania: obsessive, possessive, addictive, dependent
This is what the Bible defines as true love, or at least, is the kind of love it's most concerned about.
In order to demonstrate to another that we love them, we sacrifice something. For God, He sent His only begotten Son to die for our sins (John 3:16). For Jesus, he sacrificed himself to save us from our sins:
"Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends."-John 15:13In essence, true love is self-sacrifice. Putting others before ourselves is the greatest kind of sacrifice.
God didn't have to send His Son, but He did. Jesus didn't have to accept the mission, but he did.
God loves you, and Jesus loves you.
We demonstrate to others that we love them by sacrificing our wants and desires for them. These sacrifices can range from really small, to really big. Loving others is a daily practice of making greater and greater sacrifices.
A stumbling block for many in their walk with God is the inability to love one's enemies and to love unlovable people as Jesus did. It’s difficult for us to show love to people we don’t feel love for; to people we despise or dislike. We also tend to struggle with extending grace and mercy to those who’ve hurt us. I myself often wonder whether I am even capable of loving everyone the way Jesus does.“You can will to love people. Love is not a feeling. Love is a willing, and the Lord says to love people. He did not mean [to merely] feel love for them” — A.W. Tozer
As I grow in my faith, I realize it’s not that I’m incapable of loving like Jesus; I’m just not always willing to. My unwillingness to love indicates that I am unwittingly adopting the worldly view of love, which is based on feelings and merit. I am choosing not to love people I feel are underserving of my love. The more I study Scripture, though, the more I realize Biblical love is not a feeling or an emotion; it’s a decision. It is an action, and it’s sacrificial. It’s not something you feel; it is, again, something you practice.
Jesus commands us to love the Lord our God with all our heart, soul, mind and strength (Mark 12:30). He also said, “A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another” (John 13:34). Since the Lord commands us to love, that means it is within our power to do so; therefore, love is a decision we make. Although feelings will accompany love, it’s not an emotion; it’s the decision to love regardless of how we feel.“Biblical love is a choice to do good for another person regardless of what we feel. It is a decision to compassionately and righteously pursue the betterment of another person. This is why you can even love your enemies according to Christ’s command.” — Tony Evans
As believers, we’re taught to love our enemies, and do good to those who hate us, and if anyone slaps you on the right cheek, "turn to him the other also" (Matt. 5:39). It’s not easy to do; hating our enemies comes naturally to us because of our evil nature. It is impossible to love our enemies on our own strength; we need the help of the Spirit of God.
The decision to love your enemies arises from the decision to obey the will of God and the desire to be Christlike. We choose to love our enemies because God said so and loved us first. Jesus said we are to love as he loved us.
“But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.”-Romans 5:8So Biblical love is sacrificial love. It is not a feeling but an act of will; the desire to put the welfare of others above your own. This type of love is not a love based on affection or emotion. Instead, it’s agape love, a love that is not concerned with self but is concerned more with the good of others.
We are not going to like everyone, nor are we called to; we are called to love everyone regardless of how we feel about them. It’s possible to love someone without feeling love for them when we decide to love everyone the way God loves us. The more we love through our actions, the decision to love will become a choice the heart is more willing to make.
Again, this doesn’t mean you will like or feel love for everyone, but when you put your trust in the Lord and pursue wisdom and holiness through prayer and Scripture, you will naturally develop a love for others.
To put it succinctly: Biblical love seeks the best interests of others, even our enemies, often to the detriment of ourselves. "Best interests" here doesn't necessarily mean what the other person thinks are their own best interests. It just means we do for them what we know or believe is best for them, and what we know or believe is best for them should be informed by an active participation with the Spirit of God and by His Word (the Bible) itself. Feelings may or may not accompany this, but how we feel towards the other is not what determines whether or not we're exhibiting the love of God, in the view of Jesus and the apostles. In their view, it's about whether or not we can still decide to seek the best interests of those who might harm us, or who we might not even like.
What the Real Heavenly Treasure Is
Now, this all brings us to an important question that needs to be answered: Is it wrong to love God and others while making a reward the objective for doing so?We must ask this question, because all throughout Scripture we are told that the faithful followers of God will be "rewarded" some day for everything they've done to merit this. Giving an exhaustive list of passages that proves this point would be endless, but here are some examples of just a few:
"Then said he also to him that bade him, When thou makest a dinner or a supper, call not thy friends, nor thy brethren, neither thy kinsmen, nor thy rich neighbours; lest they also bid thee again, and a recompence be made thee. But when thou makest a feast, call the poor, the maimed, the lame, the blind: And thou shalt be blessed; for they cannot recompense thee: for thou shalt be recompensed at the resurrection of the just."-Luke 14:12-14The answer to this question depends on what we define as "rewards." Most will typically adopt some vague idea of material possesions that await the believer when they get to heaven as one's reward for faithfulness towards God, or that the reward is simply an escape from punishment for one's own sins, or perhaps even some combination of these things both.
"I have shewed you all things, how that so labouring ye ought to support the weak, and to remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he said, It is more blessed to give than to receive."-Acts 20:35
"But love ye your enemies, and do good, and lend, hoping for nothing again; and your reward shall be great, and ye shall be the children of the Highest: for he is kind unto the unthankful and to the evil."-Luke 6:35
However, none of these are the "rewards" the Lord is promising to those who obey the first and second commandments. If they were, our motivation to love God and others would ultimately be selfish. Think about it. Our motivation for rewards would inherently be me-centered, and not other-centered.
In the Sermon on the Mount, Christ gives the following command:
"Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal: But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal: For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also."-Matthew 6:19-21We know there are heavenly treasures, because Jesus says so, but what are they? The issue of heavenly treasures or eternal rewards is riddled with question marks. It’s a subject that has been abused by some (“Store up treasure by giving to my ministry”) and left in the too-hard basket by others.
But the answer here is simple, and two-fold. One of our rewards are God Himself:
"After these things the word of the Lord came unto Abram in a vision, saying, Fear not, Abram: I am thy shield, and thy exceeding great reward."-Genesis 15:1What is the reward of the seeker but to find that which is sought? If you are searching for God, you will find Him and He will be your very great reward.
"But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him."-Hevrews 11:6
Now, if you are the newest believer or the eleventh-hour worker, you will be as richly blessed as the oldest, most faithful saint. Eternity will not be divided into the haves and have-nots, for we are all one in the New Jerusalem.
But we can distinguish God our reward from the heavenly treasure that Jesus said can be stored up. You cannot "store up" more of God, after all.
So what are heavenly treasures? The answer may surprise you, but it’s people.
"Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward."-Psalm 127:3What is the only thing you can take with you? People, a.k.a. eternal friends, a.k.a. spiritual offspring. This Psalm is not just talking about biological children. God has bigger plans for you and they involve spiritual children. Lots of them. Dozens. Hundreds. Thousands. Millions. Don’t limit God.
So much time and effort is spent debating heavenly treasures as though they were some great mystery. What are they? Jesus makes it plain: it's people.
- Just as Abraham was called to be the father of many nations, so are you.
- Jesus said those who followed him would be fishers of men. What is a fisherman’s reward? It’s fish, or people in this case.
- What is the reward of the one who sows and waters the good seed? It’s a harvest of people.
- What is treasure that never wears out and cannot be stolen? It’s people.
It is children.
“Sounds great, but I am no evangelist.” You don’t need to be an evangelist to win eternal friends. Believers can live such godly lives that unbelievers will be won to the kingdom (1 Pet. 2:12; Matt. 5:16).
God's desire is to grow the world’s largest family and He treats people like treasure. This is obvious once you see it. Indeed, it’s a theme that runs throughout Scripture:
"For thou art an holy people unto the Lord thy God: the Lord thy God hath chosen thee to be a special people unto himself, above all people that are upon the face of the earth."-Deuteronomy 7:6Like Jesus, Paul eagerly gave to the poor (Gal. 2:10). He did not give out of religious duty or to put a shine on his reputation. He did it because he loved people and wanted to share the love of God with as many as possible (1 Cor. 13:3).
"For thou art an holy people unto the Lord thy God, and the Lord hath chosen thee to be a peculiar people unto himself, above all the nations that are upon the earth."-Deuteronomy 14:2
"And the Lord hath avouched thee this day to be his peculiar people, as he hath promised thee, and that thou shouldest keep all his commandments;"-Deuteronomy 26:18
"To whom coming, as unto a living stone, disallowed indeed of men, but chosen of God, and precious, Ye also, as lively stones, are built up a spiritual house, an holy priesthood, to offer up spiritual sacrifices, acceptable to God by Jesus Christ. Wherefore also it is contained in the scripture, Behold, I lay in Sion a chief corner stone, elect, precious: and he that believeth on him shall not be confounded. Unto you therefore which believe he is precious: but unto them which be disobedient, the stone which the builders disallowed, the same is made the head of the corner, And a stone of stumbling, and a rock of offence, even to them which stumble at the word, being disobedient: whereunto also they were appointed. But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye should shew forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvellous light;"-1 Peter 2:4-9
Life is a gift that is easily wasted. We can waste it running after inferior rewards that rust, or we can do what Jesus and Paul did and invest ourselves in the only reward that lasts: people.
God Is Faithful
Someone once asked me, "Why would God be concerned as to whether or not we 'have trust and confidence in him' when He's judging us and when He determines what our fate will be?"Having trust and confidence in God, according to the Biblical authors, is required for us to fulfill His commandment that we love Him, and thus also love others. (See Hebrews 11.)
As with a spouse, you cannot truly love them if you do not have some level of trust or confidence in them, and vice versa. All relationships require trust, from both parties. God wants us to trust Him that He will keep His promises towards those of us who love and follow Him. He also wants to trust us that we will enter the kingdom of heaven with a righteous and loving character. He doesn't want another rebellion in paradise, so He's trying to see if we truly love righteousness for righteousness' sake. A truly righteous person wouldn't want to rebel against Him when the time comes that they enter the kingdom of God themselves, because a person with a righteous character wouldn't ever do such a thing.
As Open Theists, we believe we're being consistent in our belief that God, at times, puts trials before us to test whether or not we will remain trustworthy enough in our character to be deemed worthy of entrance into His kingdom. The Classical Theist doesn't have the luxury of being consistent if they have this same belief.
In the Book of Job, Satan makes an accusation towards someone God has deemed as truly righteous: Job.
Satan assails God’s wisdom and character in running the world by alleging that people only serve Him because of what they get out of it. God protects them from disaster and blesses them in other ways. Their obedience, he is suggesting, isn’t really a free choice. "There is no genuine virtue in the world," Satan is claiming. "There are only self-serving bargains, and obedience for the sake of being protected and blessed is one of them. Hence, true holiness and virtuous obedience are an illusion." "Take away a person’s protection," Satan insists, "and let me have my way with people, and they will stop living for God" (Job 1:9-11; 2:4-5).
God has so much faith in Job that he will not succumb to proving the false accusations being levied towards him and God's way of running things in general that He ends up accepting the challenge. For God, this is as much a test of His faith towards His servant as it is for Job for his Lord. The adversary, we see, was assailing God’s integrity and wisdom in overseeing the creation. Satan was, in effect, accusing God of being a Machiavellian ruler. In the context of this narrative, it was an assault that could only be refuted by being put to the test.
Had God simply forced Satan into silence, without proving him wrong, it would have simply confirmed the accuracy of Satan’s charge. It would have shown that there is no integrity or wisdom in how God runs the world after all. "There is only the exercise of power, used to manipulate beings into obeying Him. People serve God only as a bargain, not out of genuine love."
No, the challenge had to be answered by having it put to the test. The most righteous man on the earth was thus chosen to be tested. If Job failed, the narrative suggests, then Satan will have made his point. If he succeeded, however, then God’s wisdom and integrity in running the cosmos will have been vindicated. Hence, the protective fence around Job is removed and Satan is allowed to afflict him.
In the end, Job proves faithful to God and is even referenced in the New Testament as an example of the kind of faithfulness He expected of first century believers facing persecution and trials:
"Behold, we count them happy which endure. Ye have heard of the patience of Job, and have seen the end of the Lord; that the Lord is very pitiful, and of tender mercy."-James 5:11While most of us aren't dealing with the life-threatening kind of persecution that believers faced in the first century, for the very fact that the eschatological end of physical Israel and the Old Covenant system was fastly approaching for them (and already has approached), we still each face our own trials that God puts in our lives as individuals to see if we truly love Him. Job is simply the ultimate example of one who loved God because they chose to, not because God forced them to.
After all, you never know if your love is pure if it isn't tested...
2024.05.14 10:42 racemicmixtape Can I match psych with a conditional pass, no research, and no sub-i?
I live and breathe psych. I am not a person using it as back up or lifestyle specialty. I high passed the clerkship, got straight fives from two attendings I worked with- both of whom encouraged me to join the field, got a 97% overall for clinical evals and a 91% for SPE when cutoff was 77% for honors. I have also been shadowing a psych attending since MS1. There's no question this is my path. I know for a fact, this what I want to spend my life doing. I couldn't imagine myself being satisfied doing anything else knowing this exists.
However, I conditionally passed neurology and surgery, and have an incomplete for peds (health stuff in family). I won't finish clerkship year until end of July because I pushed back taking step 1 to make sure I passed on the first try. Last two clerkships are Family med and IM. Now, if I apply this cycle, I would have to retake those clerkship exams successfully and get a 240 on step 2 with either 2 weeks until my sub-i, or no sub-i and take the time to study for step and have no acting internship letter. I am terrified to do that because I know my strengths are in the clinic, and that's what sets me apart, so not having that is a major disadvantage for me. I know that I am uniquely suited for this field. I'm on family med now. Every time a patient has a psych problem, they go out of their way to compliment me to the attending. Honestly, even when they don't have psych problems. I know people are nice, but it's literally every time. One patient called in to the office the next day and left a message with the receptionist saying I did an incredible job and thanking me. All we really did was talk, but the conversation was really meaningful to me too. I know I'm just a med student, but she felt like my patient in that moment.
This is not to brag, just to say, that despite med school always hyper stratifying us and making half of us feel like idiot failures, when I am with the patients I can actually feel the value in the past three years of pseudo-hell, and that's the only time I do. Compliments from doctors give me hope that I am progressing well, and I hope their evals help my application, but it's the comments from patients I actually get to talk to that gives me a future to look forward to. But I can't see the patients unless I impress the doctors running the programs, and my grades are not impressive. My boyfriend literally has all honors, and it's amazing for him, but while he's looking at average step scores and calculating his chances with a score higher than the average for every single school, it just is so clear that I'm not even a serious player in this game right now. I would be playing with fire trying to take these exams, and score 240+ on step in 6 weeks while doing a sub-i, and try to get research in. I would only have to complete peds and surgery technically, but the conditional pass for neuro would still show up on my app (which isn't great since neuro is heavily relevant to psych). I have plenty of volunteering and two leadership experiences, but I know it's not weighted as heavily as research. I got a research scholarship in MS1, but I had to retake an exam over the summer and gave it up to focus on academics. I am smart, but I am not a genius(aka, med school stupid), and I just could not afford to split my attention so many ways and stay afloat. Organization is something med school has helped (forced) me to develop, but I was not very efficient coming in, I'll be honest.
It's so high stakes, and I am becoming increasingly anxious. I just want to match this specialty at this point. I'm from a North East mid-tier MD school, have four conditional passes from pre-clinicals but never had to repeat a year, passed step 1 on first try, no step 2 score yet, great clinical eval comments from every clerkship, only one bad comment all year (peds outpatient, my first clerkship. tl;dr - "she's nice and professional, but she is too slow and her skills are developing"), failed the shelves and got conditional pass for neuro and surgery (these turn into regular passes if I retake successfully), no research, evidence of interest in psych throughout med school, two inpatient psych clerkship attendings willing to write me LOR's, genuine belief that I was made for this specialty, and I really would do an extra year to polish things up if I had to the way people do for surgical specialties because that's how much this means to me, but I don't want to waste my time because I am afraid and lack insight, and I don't want to end up with an unproductive year and be in an even worse situation than I am now because psych doesn't seem to have established networks looking for research year med students like derm and ortho do. But matching this specialty is the difference between feeling like I am suffering for nothing, and feeling like I am suffering for something greater than me. In every other field, I enjoy them, but I can feel that there are people out there who would do it better than I would. Psych is the only place I feel like I would be uniquely valuable just as I already am.
Edit: removed an irrelevant sentence
submitted by racemicmixtape to medicalschool [link] [comments]
However, I conditionally passed neurology and surgery, and have an incomplete for peds (health stuff in family). I won't finish clerkship year until end of July because I pushed back taking step 1 to make sure I passed on the first try. Last two clerkships are Family med and IM. Now, if I apply this cycle, I would have to retake those clerkship exams successfully and get a 240 on step 2 with either 2 weeks until my sub-i, or no sub-i and take the time to study for step and have no acting internship letter. I am terrified to do that because I know my strengths are in the clinic, and that's what sets me apart, so not having that is a major disadvantage for me. I know that I am uniquely suited for this field. I'm on family med now. Every time a patient has a psych problem, they go out of their way to compliment me to the attending. Honestly, even when they don't have psych problems. I know people are nice, but it's literally every time. One patient called in to the office the next day and left a message with the receptionist saying I did an incredible job and thanking me. All we really did was talk, but the conversation was really meaningful to me too. I know I'm just a med student, but she felt like my patient in that moment.
This is not to brag, just to say, that despite med school always hyper stratifying us and making half of us feel like idiot failures, when I am with the patients I can actually feel the value in the past three years of pseudo-hell, and that's the only time I do. Compliments from doctors give me hope that I am progressing well, and I hope their evals help my application, but it's the comments from patients I actually get to talk to that gives me a future to look forward to. But I can't see the patients unless I impress the doctors running the programs, and my grades are not impressive. My boyfriend literally has all honors, and it's amazing for him, but while he's looking at average step scores and calculating his chances with a score higher than the average for every single school, it just is so clear that I'm not even a serious player in this game right now. I would be playing with fire trying to take these exams, and score 240+ on step in 6 weeks while doing a sub-i, and try to get research in. I would only have to complete peds and surgery technically, but the conditional pass for neuro would still show up on my app (which isn't great since neuro is heavily relevant to psych). I have plenty of volunteering and two leadership experiences, but I know it's not weighted as heavily as research. I got a research scholarship in MS1, but I had to retake an exam over the summer and gave it up to focus on academics. I am smart, but I am not a genius(aka, med school stupid), and I just could not afford to split my attention so many ways and stay afloat. Organization is something med school has helped (forced) me to develop, but I was not very efficient coming in, I'll be honest.
It's so high stakes, and I am becoming increasingly anxious. I just want to match this specialty at this point. I'm from a North East mid-tier MD school, have four conditional passes from pre-clinicals but never had to repeat a year, passed step 1 on first try, no step 2 score yet, great clinical eval comments from every clerkship, only one bad comment all year (peds outpatient, my first clerkship. tl;dr - "she's nice and professional, but she is too slow and her skills are developing"), failed the shelves and got conditional pass for neuro and surgery (these turn into regular passes if I retake successfully), no research, evidence of interest in psych throughout med school, two inpatient psych clerkship attendings willing to write me LOR's, genuine belief that I was made for this specialty, and I really would do an extra year to polish things up if I had to the way people do for surgical specialties because that's how much this means to me, but I don't want to waste my time because I am afraid and lack insight, and I don't want to end up with an unproductive year and be in an even worse situation than I am now because psych doesn't seem to have established networks looking for research year med students like derm and ortho do. But matching this specialty is the difference between feeling like I am suffering for nothing, and feeling like I am suffering for something greater than me. In every other field, I enjoy them, but I can feel that there are people out there who would do it better than I would. Psych is the only place I feel like I would be uniquely valuable just as I already am.
Edit: removed an irrelevant sentence
2024.05.14 10:39 Adept_Material3891 My (26m) girlfriend(26f) seems to be checking out, I’m trying to salvage things because I love her and we have kids. Advice?
We’ve been together for 4 and a half years basically. We’ve know each other for 10. Liked each other in high school, life happened, I moved away, she had a kid, found our way back to each other, and ended up having a child of our own 2 years ago. To try and summarize, she feels once our daughter was born, that I got too comfortable and acted as though I knew she wasn’t going anywhere. I worked overnight construction for years, even before we got together, made it to a superintendent position, with a job where I averaged anywhere from 65-80+ hours a week. She was home with the kids, I didn’t make enough to put the kids in daycare, and couldn’t commit to any kind of permanent arrangement to assist her with taking care of the kids so she could work. The goal, since before we got together, was for me to leave my trade, but I made more money doing that, than we would have if we both started entry level jobs, not to mention then having to pay for daycares. I was offered help by my mother who lived out of state to bring me family over there with promises of help so we could make the changes necessary to restructure our life and improve our situation. I got here, worked in my same trade for a few months until the rain season began, and she immediately began her course to become a CNA, then started work as one, and makes decent money. Well she made a friend there, who I honestly can’t stand. I have NEVER told her who she can and can’t see, hang out with, talk to, nothing like that, she’s never given me a reason to doubt her, she has always been a loyal person and very honest. This friend of hers, without spending time on all the details and making this post even longer, tries encouraging my girlfriend to do things or think certain ways that I feel are detrimental to our relationship. Telling her she should start an OF, is one example, and when my girlfriend vented to her about an issue we had, told her that I am a narcissist like every guy she’s been with and to just leave me.
For some context, I forgot our anniversary. I think I’ve forgotten it almost every year, because it wasn’t really a special occasion, we talked about it a few months into our relationship basically saying “hey we’re dating right? Like this is official? What do we tell people if they ask what our anniversary is? Okay cool, sounds good, moving on.” I get it, that mindset was wrong of me. I also procrastinate on things like holidays, birthdays, whatever, and have had some instances where I really should have tried harder to make her feel special and appreciated. I used to do the hallmark movie corny stuff, I used to have a notebook I’d write in when I got home in the mornings while she was asleep about how I loved her, she’s beautiful, I appreciate her, blah blah. One time I set a path from the front door to the upstairs bath with candles, flower petals, where a bath was drawn, with red lights for ambiance and a bath bomb for her. It fell off because the honey moon phase ended, although I feel it lasted a long time, and life events happened that lead to some emotional dry spells on her part where she wasn’t ready to receive affection, her grandmother passing, having a miscarriage far along in our first pregnancy together, her step father dying, and then also the stresses of my job wearing me out, and getting comfortable subconsciously telling myself that even though I don’t always do those same things anymore, she knows I think she’s the greatest and I love her.
I have a bad habit that I’ve been working on for a few months now, where if she’d bring up things that made me nervous to think about or stress me out to plan, I would play too much and not take the situations seriously, and make her not feel heard as a result. I always teased that I don’t believe in legally getting married, that I’d take her to the courthouse and let her change her last name to mine and then we can have a ceremony after. 2 years ago I told her that wasn’t the case, and we finally talked about it where I told her that once our situation is right, in marrying her. I know in hindsight that I should have still placed it as a higher priority, but we never really talked about it further, and she clung to what I’d said before that about us never getting married. When our fighting started getting bad about 2 months ago, and we finally communicated what the underlying root of her unhappiness was, I had a huge perspective change. Some other big events happened, my step father who we lived with overdosed from fentanyl in our basement, and really changed my perspective on life and how quickly things can end and change and blah blah, to where I told her that I don’t want to fight, she is my one, and I want to marry her. She basically took it as me saying it out of fear to get her to stay. I’ve been trying to show her that I want to make the effort she is asking for. That she is as special to me as I say, but now in her mind she is taking an approach of “why did it take 4 years to get to this point.”
I never try to deny responsibility for my actions, I always try to be quick to reflect and acknowledge where I may have been wrong. But now I almost feel like my readiness to say okay I messed up by getting comfortable and not making you feel heard in these situations and everything else I’ve talked about, kind of seems like I’ve only made her feel completely validated in her idea that I have messed up for 4 years and just not appreciated her. I almost want to tell her that yes, I have slowed down and gotten comfortable, but no, there’s are so many examples of times I’ve still shown you how much I cared. I fear doing so will come off argumentative, and give her more fuel to the fire of her friend calling me a narcissist. Side note: she has since stopped getting advice from that friend, because she did come to the conclusion that her friend does not have her best interest, and has seen an uglier side to her as time has gone on, but I feel the seeds of discord have been sown.
I’m so sorry, I hope some of you with good intentions stick through all of this, and I know there’s other context that could help, but I guess I just need some ideas on what to do. 7 weeks ago we started fighting over petty day to day things, 5 weeks ago we finally established her root of unhappiness, 4 weeks ago she said she needed space, 2-3 weeks ago we said we were taking a break, and I feel her feelings of negativity have only grown. I’ve sucked at giving space admittedly, as time goes on I’ve gotten better though I fear damage has been further done by not doing great about accepting her request for space. Idk, we have a child together, I love both of the children like they’re my own blood, I’ve never felt this happy in a relationship (I know I’m young, still) and now that we’re finally hitting our goals with our lifestyle changes and career changes, now she’s finally gotten to this point of giving up.
Do I try giving her space, doing my own thing and seeing if that separation and seeing my positive activities draws her back in? Or has it gone on so long that that’s not going to work? Do I try saying finally “hey I acknowledge my mistakes, but in your attempts to focus on my wrong doings I feel like you’re ignoring all the good things I did and I’d like you to try remembering those? I don’t hit her, cuss at her, our heated fights can probably be counted on 1, maybe 2 hands, I don’t cheat, I provide, I’ve taken care of the kids just about by myself for the past 5 months to give her room to get her new profession down, I cook and clean every night, not to be crass but our intimate life is very good, I know I deliver for her on that account, and I’m someone who is always willing to apologize and adapt and adjust. Any advice that isn’t slanderous to either of us would be awesome, I get at this point that if it’s too late then I need to just start preparing for that eventuality and working on myself, but for the sake of keeping my family together, I want to exhaust all of my options to make this work.
submitted by Adept_Material3891 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
For some context, I forgot our anniversary. I think I’ve forgotten it almost every year, because it wasn’t really a special occasion, we talked about it a few months into our relationship basically saying “hey we’re dating right? Like this is official? What do we tell people if they ask what our anniversary is? Okay cool, sounds good, moving on.” I get it, that mindset was wrong of me. I also procrastinate on things like holidays, birthdays, whatever, and have had some instances where I really should have tried harder to make her feel special and appreciated. I used to do the hallmark movie corny stuff, I used to have a notebook I’d write in when I got home in the mornings while she was asleep about how I loved her, she’s beautiful, I appreciate her, blah blah. One time I set a path from the front door to the upstairs bath with candles, flower petals, where a bath was drawn, with red lights for ambiance and a bath bomb for her. It fell off because the honey moon phase ended, although I feel it lasted a long time, and life events happened that lead to some emotional dry spells on her part where she wasn’t ready to receive affection, her grandmother passing, having a miscarriage far along in our first pregnancy together, her step father dying, and then also the stresses of my job wearing me out, and getting comfortable subconsciously telling myself that even though I don’t always do those same things anymore, she knows I think she’s the greatest and I love her.
I have a bad habit that I’ve been working on for a few months now, where if she’d bring up things that made me nervous to think about or stress me out to plan, I would play too much and not take the situations seriously, and make her not feel heard as a result. I always teased that I don’t believe in legally getting married, that I’d take her to the courthouse and let her change her last name to mine and then we can have a ceremony after. 2 years ago I told her that wasn’t the case, and we finally talked about it where I told her that once our situation is right, in marrying her. I know in hindsight that I should have still placed it as a higher priority, but we never really talked about it further, and she clung to what I’d said before that about us never getting married. When our fighting started getting bad about 2 months ago, and we finally communicated what the underlying root of her unhappiness was, I had a huge perspective change. Some other big events happened, my step father who we lived with overdosed from fentanyl in our basement, and really changed my perspective on life and how quickly things can end and change and blah blah, to where I told her that I don’t want to fight, she is my one, and I want to marry her. She basically took it as me saying it out of fear to get her to stay. I’ve been trying to show her that I want to make the effort she is asking for. That she is as special to me as I say, but now in her mind she is taking an approach of “why did it take 4 years to get to this point.”
I never try to deny responsibility for my actions, I always try to be quick to reflect and acknowledge where I may have been wrong. But now I almost feel like my readiness to say okay I messed up by getting comfortable and not making you feel heard in these situations and everything else I’ve talked about, kind of seems like I’ve only made her feel completely validated in her idea that I have messed up for 4 years and just not appreciated her. I almost want to tell her that yes, I have slowed down and gotten comfortable, but no, there’s are so many examples of times I’ve still shown you how much I cared. I fear doing so will come off argumentative, and give her more fuel to the fire of her friend calling me a narcissist. Side note: she has since stopped getting advice from that friend, because she did come to the conclusion that her friend does not have her best interest, and has seen an uglier side to her as time has gone on, but I feel the seeds of discord have been sown.
I’m so sorry, I hope some of you with good intentions stick through all of this, and I know there’s other context that could help, but I guess I just need some ideas on what to do. 7 weeks ago we started fighting over petty day to day things, 5 weeks ago we finally established her root of unhappiness, 4 weeks ago she said she needed space, 2-3 weeks ago we said we were taking a break, and I feel her feelings of negativity have only grown. I’ve sucked at giving space admittedly, as time goes on I’ve gotten better though I fear damage has been further done by not doing great about accepting her request for space. Idk, we have a child together, I love both of the children like they’re my own blood, I’ve never felt this happy in a relationship (I know I’m young, still) and now that we’re finally hitting our goals with our lifestyle changes and career changes, now she’s finally gotten to this point of giving up.
Do I try giving her space, doing my own thing and seeing if that separation and seeing my positive activities draws her back in? Or has it gone on so long that that’s not going to work? Do I try saying finally “hey I acknowledge my mistakes, but in your attempts to focus on my wrong doings I feel like you’re ignoring all the good things I did and I’d like you to try remembering those? I don’t hit her, cuss at her, our heated fights can probably be counted on 1, maybe 2 hands, I don’t cheat, I provide, I’ve taken care of the kids just about by myself for the past 5 months to give her room to get her new profession down, I cook and clean every night, not to be crass but our intimate life is very good, I know I deliver for her on that account, and I’m someone who is always willing to apologize and adapt and adjust. Any advice that isn’t slanderous to either of us would be awesome, I get at this point that if it’s too late then I need to just start preparing for that eventuality and working on myself, but for the sake of keeping my family together, I want to exhaust all of my options to make this work.
2024.05.14 10:32 Glum_Truck_724 Rant Session Part 2: Family/Friends who will never get it
This is a followup very much related to my last post https://www.reddit.com/clusterheads/comments/1cgie0n/rant_session_familyfriends_who_will_never_get_it/
I have been in a cycle ever since that day where I’ve been consistently getting clusters every 2-3 hours at night. Sleep —> cluster —oxygen —> sleep repeat. Needless to say, I’m exhausted both mentally and physically. They wake me up at night so I’m tired throughout the day but a nap is a sure way to start one a few hours later.
Anyways, mother’s day comes along. My grandmother had a dinner reservation for my mom and I to celebrate. On the car ride there it was particularly hot and the sun was blaring. The car had been in a parking lot in the sun for quite a while so it was very hot on the inside. I’ve come to learn one of my triggers is strong heat and a cluster begins in the car. I can be quite good at masking my physical pain (I’m not the type to be verbal n stuff) but it was pretty obvious I was uncomfortable. I was hoping it would just be a shadow or my paranoia getting the better of me because it’s rarer for me to get them mid day but it wasn’t.
By the time we had sat down in the restaurant it was starting to hit its peak and I just couldn’t bear it anymore, so I profusely apologized and said I really needed to call an uber home to use my tank (we live like 10 min away).
My mom and grandmother were extremely upset when they came home and started going on a rant about how it’s my fault that I can’t manage my headaches. My mom is probably one of the only person who has some kind of knowledge about cluster headaches so I was surprised she was spearheading this argument since, at this point, she should certainly know better about the causes and treatments (I’ve had them since I was 15-16 was properly diagnosed 2 years ago at 20, I am now 22).
Essentially they blamed me and my habits and said I am at fault for starting my headaches. They were saying I bring them on upon myself because I have a poor sleep schedule (not entirely untrue depending on how you see it, I regularly sleep around consistently 2-3 am every day regardless of clusters but get 5-8 hours of sleep depending on school/part time job), and because of my eating habits (we eat the same food together that is never particularly unhealthy lol?). I am by no means a health master but I wouldn’t put myself on the opposite end of the spectrum either (I exercise regularly), not to mention I have never smoked a day in my life and almost never drink, which I know are some significant markers or triggers for cluster headache sufferers.
It was a very frustrating (and pointless/misinformed) fight where I asked them if they genuinely think my clusters will suddenly disappear into thin air if I start going to bed at 10 pm and only eat vegetables. In this particular situation, I didn’t ask for any help, I took responsibility for myself and managed to resolve it on my own (as I always do anyhow) so I felt what they were demanding was simply unfair and completely unrealistic. They told me it was my fault I had to leave because I’ve been using oxygen “as a crutch.”
Girl a fucking crutch? What do you mean a crutch? That is quite literally my PRESCRIBED MEDICATION. I don’t have anything else. It is the most effective remedy that doesn’t cause you to be impaired for the rest of the day. I was absolutely livid.
Everything ends in a crying/screaming match. I am to blame for “ruining mother’s day” over a medical condition I certainly did not ask for, try to bring upon, or can fully control.
Today, I could hear my mom talking about it on the phone again withy grandmother. I am just so tired of these stupid fucking headaches and never being taken seriously.
Today was my off day, so when I go to sleep tonight I can expect to wake up with one. How exciting.
submitted by Glum_Truck_724 to clusterheads [link] [comments]
I have been in a cycle ever since that day where I’ve been consistently getting clusters every 2-3 hours at night. Sleep —> cluster —oxygen —> sleep repeat. Needless to say, I’m exhausted both mentally and physically. They wake me up at night so I’m tired throughout the day but a nap is a sure way to start one a few hours later.
Anyways, mother’s day comes along. My grandmother had a dinner reservation for my mom and I to celebrate. On the car ride there it was particularly hot and the sun was blaring. The car had been in a parking lot in the sun for quite a while so it was very hot on the inside. I’ve come to learn one of my triggers is strong heat and a cluster begins in the car. I can be quite good at masking my physical pain (I’m not the type to be verbal n stuff) but it was pretty obvious I was uncomfortable. I was hoping it would just be a shadow or my paranoia getting the better of me because it’s rarer for me to get them mid day but it wasn’t.
By the time we had sat down in the restaurant it was starting to hit its peak and I just couldn’t bear it anymore, so I profusely apologized and said I really needed to call an uber home to use my tank (we live like 10 min away).
My mom and grandmother were extremely upset when they came home and started going on a rant about how it’s my fault that I can’t manage my headaches. My mom is probably one of the only person who has some kind of knowledge about cluster headaches so I was surprised she was spearheading this argument since, at this point, she should certainly know better about the causes and treatments (I’ve had them since I was 15-16 was properly diagnosed 2 years ago at 20, I am now 22).
Essentially they blamed me and my habits and said I am at fault for starting my headaches. They were saying I bring them on upon myself because I have a poor sleep schedule (not entirely untrue depending on how you see it, I regularly sleep around consistently 2-3 am every day regardless of clusters but get 5-8 hours of sleep depending on school/part time job), and because of my eating habits (we eat the same food together that is never particularly unhealthy lol?). I am by no means a health master but I wouldn’t put myself on the opposite end of the spectrum either (I exercise regularly), not to mention I have never smoked a day in my life and almost never drink, which I know are some significant markers or triggers for cluster headache sufferers.
It was a very frustrating (and pointless/misinformed) fight where I asked them if they genuinely think my clusters will suddenly disappear into thin air if I start going to bed at 10 pm and only eat vegetables. In this particular situation, I didn’t ask for any help, I took responsibility for myself and managed to resolve it on my own (as I always do anyhow) so I felt what they were demanding was simply unfair and completely unrealistic. They told me it was my fault I had to leave because I’ve been using oxygen “as a crutch.”
Girl a fucking crutch? What do you mean a crutch? That is quite literally my PRESCRIBED MEDICATION. I don’t have anything else. It is the most effective remedy that doesn’t cause you to be impaired for the rest of the day. I was absolutely livid.
Everything ends in a crying/screaming match. I am to blame for “ruining mother’s day” over a medical condition I certainly did not ask for, try to bring upon, or can fully control.
Today, I could hear my mom talking about it on the phone again withy grandmother. I am just so tired of these stupid fucking headaches and never being taken seriously.
Today was my off day, so when I go to sleep tonight I can expect to wake up with one. How exciting.
2024.05.14 10:31 Read_once To anyone living in North America
May 13 2024. I am learning and still need to learn more on how to get over differences and accept one another humans as just the same and that i shouldnt judge too hard cuz what if i was in their position. (This could apply to you reading this now or any person who reads this, which is know might be a long one but please just give it a chance to see why you don’t even have the time to read this and actually understand, to see my view point because this is the viewpoint of all regular folk such as you and myself)
WHY HAVE WE AS A HUMAN SPECIES JUST LOST EMPATHY AND UNDERSTANDING we dont need to feel ashamed cuz we didnt know better, we just need to start working on fixes and now since only more time will hold back actual change.
Aslo i think im starting to learn something new about myself if im not doing something that grows me as a person as in example discussing political viewpoints and reading or just learning views on humans and just humanitarian things in general cuz
WE’RE HUMANS AND THAT COULD’VE BEEN US AND ITS NOT BUT IF WE GOT THE MEANS TO HELP THEN LETS HELP , oh wait we cant help cuz (insert stupid fabricated excuse that the governments make cuz they are or might be a failure just because, IF A GOVERNMENT IS ACTUALLY IN HELP OF PEOPLE THEN IT SHOULD GET THINGS DONE AND EVERYONE SHOULD BE LIVING WELL AND I MEAN EVERYONE the only reason we have some people who cant even afford to have the time to read this or to take time to understand). Now i know that sounds unreasonable but THATS ONLY SOUNDS UNREASONABLE CUZ OUR OH WELL LOOKSY DOO ITS THE SAME FUCKING GOVERNMENTS TELLING US ITS NOT
We hear the term escaping the matrix or finding the cheat code in life. Well the matrix isnt about escaping reality or people ITS ABOUT ESCAPING THE GRASP OF THE GOVERNMENTS AND BEINGS THAT STOP US HUMANS DOING WHAT WE WANT.
And if we humans cant see this then perhaps the time for the human race is over and doomed to fail either from nuclear amerggdon or climate change.
Like being a dick and not wanting to help or actually be active and apart of something is what government want from us regular folk us NON ELITE HUMANS the ones who don’t have tens of millions of dollars or just enough money and superficial happiness or anything to not get you thinking about each other and how we all feel.
They (as in the people who get to decide our way of life the Government’s WHICH BY THE WAY THEY SHOULD HAVE NO RIGHT) dont want us to see “oh damn they got the power to actually make the change and theyre not making change ?” THEY’LL DO ANYTHING TO JUST NOT GET ASKED MORE QUESTIONS AND GET INTO IN DEPTH (examples like taxes and how we are all to busy thinking about our bills or how anything would get done cuz everyone needs to focus on things that “actually matter” BUT THE THINGS THAT ACTUALLY MATTER OR JUST DISTRACTIONS , like if you read this and think wait i don’t have the time for this LIKE WHY DONT YOU?? Because your to busy with what…? EXACTLY THAT WHAT AND ANSWER TO THE QUESTION IS USALLY WHAT IT IS AND AN EXAMPLE OF A DISTRACTION)
You see this isn’t a regular war this is a revolution of the average human such as me and you. Thank you
any excuse to be able to move on and thats why i think i haven’t been able to move on these days. Havent been able to connect with things and people in my life
Its just such a deadly cycle and loop and no wonder people kill themselves.
BECAUSE EVERYTHING IS JUST A DISTRACTION FROM THE TRUTH THAT IM LIVING IN A SYSTEM DESIGNED TO KEEP ME AT THE BOTTOM AND WITH A FALSE DREAM AND HOPE THAT I’LL BE RICH ENOUGH TO NOT CARE OR RICH ENOUGH TO ACTUALLY DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.
We as in the human population also need to stop questioning the messager and talking about whats up with me as a person and SEE WHAT IM ACTUALLY SPEAKING OF AND WHAT I REFER TO BECAUSE WHAT I REFER TO IS THE DAILY LIFE OF ANYONE OF US. BECAUSE WHAT I SPEAK OF IS THE TRUTH AND HOW WE ALL FEEL.
And i will do what i have to do to spread this message and if that means playing by this sick game’s rules and having to force myself into the machine of capitalism and how our society worships money. Then i will just to have a platform to spread the truth. Because I do believe this way full heartedly and found it easy to write this because i know how all us people feel since we are all still human. And now is the time to stick together and be able to help our neighbors and friends, family and even those we don’t even know.
Spread the word and lets help each other by getting educated, ask more questions. don’t take everything at face value all the time and don’t just follow and the herd mentality, actually use your brain and think how this relates to you and others in your life and help them out if possible. Thank you for your time just do not be hardheaded and say “nah” actually be the change you wish to see in the world, thats how it starts.
submitted by Read_once to GetOffMyChest [link] [comments]
WHY HAVE WE AS A HUMAN SPECIES JUST LOST EMPATHY AND UNDERSTANDING we dont need to feel ashamed cuz we didnt know better, we just need to start working on fixes and now since only more time will hold back actual change.
Aslo i think im starting to learn something new about myself if im not doing something that grows me as a person as in example discussing political viewpoints and reading or just learning views on humans and just humanitarian things in general cuz
WE’RE HUMANS AND THAT COULD’VE BEEN US AND ITS NOT BUT IF WE GOT THE MEANS TO HELP THEN LETS HELP , oh wait we cant help cuz (insert stupid fabricated excuse that the governments make cuz they are or might be a failure just because, IF A GOVERNMENT IS ACTUALLY IN HELP OF PEOPLE THEN IT SHOULD GET THINGS DONE AND EVERYONE SHOULD BE LIVING WELL AND I MEAN EVERYONE the only reason we have some people who cant even afford to have the time to read this or to take time to understand). Now i know that sounds unreasonable but THATS ONLY SOUNDS UNREASONABLE CUZ OUR OH WELL LOOKSY DOO ITS THE SAME FUCKING GOVERNMENTS TELLING US ITS NOT
We hear the term escaping the matrix or finding the cheat code in life. Well the matrix isnt about escaping reality or people ITS ABOUT ESCAPING THE GRASP OF THE GOVERNMENTS AND BEINGS THAT STOP US HUMANS DOING WHAT WE WANT.
And if we humans cant see this then perhaps the time for the human race is over and doomed to fail either from nuclear amerggdon or climate change.
Like being a dick and not wanting to help or actually be active and apart of something is what government want from us regular folk us NON ELITE HUMANS the ones who don’t have tens of millions of dollars or just enough money and superficial happiness or anything to not get you thinking about each other and how we all feel.
They (as in the people who get to decide our way of life the Government’s WHICH BY THE WAY THEY SHOULD HAVE NO RIGHT) dont want us to see “oh damn they got the power to actually make the change and theyre not making change ?” THEY’LL DO ANYTHING TO JUST NOT GET ASKED MORE QUESTIONS AND GET INTO IN DEPTH (examples like taxes and how we are all to busy thinking about our bills or how anything would get done cuz everyone needs to focus on things that “actually matter” BUT THE THINGS THAT ACTUALLY MATTER OR JUST DISTRACTIONS , like if you read this and think wait i don’t have the time for this LIKE WHY DONT YOU?? Because your to busy with what…? EXACTLY THAT WHAT AND ANSWER TO THE QUESTION IS USALLY WHAT IT IS AND AN EXAMPLE OF A DISTRACTION)
You see this isn’t a regular war this is a revolution of the average human such as me and you. Thank you
any excuse to be able to move on and thats why i think i haven’t been able to move on these days. Havent been able to connect with things and people in my life
Its just such a deadly cycle and loop and no wonder people kill themselves.
BECAUSE EVERYTHING IS JUST A DISTRACTION FROM THE TRUTH THAT IM LIVING IN A SYSTEM DESIGNED TO KEEP ME AT THE BOTTOM AND WITH A FALSE DREAM AND HOPE THAT I’LL BE RICH ENOUGH TO NOT CARE OR RICH ENOUGH TO ACTUALLY DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.
We as in the human population also need to stop questioning the messager and talking about whats up with me as a person and SEE WHAT IM ACTUALLY SPEAKING OF AND WHAT I REFER TO BECAUSE WHAT I REFER TO IS THE DAILY LIFE OF ANYONE OF US. BECAUSE WHAT I SPEAK OF IS THE TRUTH AND HOW WE ALL FEEL.
And i will do what i have to do to spread this message and if that means playing by this sick game’s rules and having to force myself into the machine of capitalism and how our society worships money. Then i will just to have a platform to spread the truth. Because I do believe this way full heartedly and found it easy to write this because i know how all us people feel since we are all still human. And now is the time to stick together and be able to help our neighbors and friends, family and even those we don’t even know.
Spread the word and lets help each other by getting educated, ask more questions. don’t take everything at face value all the time and don’t just follow and the herd mentality, actually use your brain and think how this relates to you and others in your life and help them out if possible. Thank you for your time just do not be hardheaded and say “nah” actually be the change you wish to see in the world, thats how it starts.
2024.05.14 10:31 ChainFantastic8979 Selfish Selflessness
Stay away, wilted rose, there has never been a place for you here.
My intuition told me about you. Your ego verified. I knew you only for months and knew the truth, yet you still had a whole family, blinded by manipulation for over a decade.
Unfortunately, for you, your unwillingness to humble yourself has now left you utterly alone. Exactly where you deserve to be.
Life handed you two choices. And both choices valued priceless. Yet you couldn't choose, because in some fucked up world, you believe you were warranted both. Despite how illelogical it really was.
I revealed your truth because it hurt me, too. Your secrets were burdening my soul. Even before actual validation. You have done the most unforgiving things one person can do, and I conveyed your wretchedness without hesitation. Selfish selflessness.
You had your great love. Your supposed soul mate. The love you bragged about. But at the same time, you had the love of their brother. A love you never earned. The love you had to keep secret. The one you SHOULD have married, huh?
It just doesn't seem like manipulation when you're benefitting with no repurcussion. But to have felt accomplished, manipulating a child for years, is unspeakable. And to think that child thought it was love, is saddening.
J was only twelve years old when your atrocious grooming began. You were a grown woman, and despite your naive nature, had years to realize what you were doing was wrong and actually disgusting.
This brother grew into a wonderful, fully conscious man. He took his abuse and planned to go to the grave with it. How terrible it must have felt to be in love, at so young, and never able to share it.
To think it was acceptable to be second choice to your brother. To cater to a woman whom already made her vows. To go so many years accepting a false love and encouragement. So brainwashed, all of this impulsively seemed right.
For years, you wove a deceitful web. Managed to hide your adultery from your spouse, secretly having an affair with his younger brother. But little did you know, I would soon come and rip your perfect vile world apart.
I was summoned to tell your lie. You were too cowardly to do it yourself. You didn't deserve half the love you received. You cannot take something that special for granted.
I was blessed with a beautiful, but broken, man. These are wounds that you inflicted. And somehow, unbeknownst to me, you think your choices were justified. Your pathological lies make up for predatory choices. But we see through those, now.
I'm sorry for the hearts that may have broken while I uncovered this affliction. I know I didn't create this pain, but it hurts ME knowing the person who caused this, sees no fault of their own. I'm embarrassed for you.
I am happy, however, you could not make a choice for yourself. I would possibly be without him now, if you, chose your steps correctly. But you need to see that he gives his love to me, openly. He does not have to hide anymore. He no longer has to carry this lie.
I know it hurts you to watch someone you 'love' become someone you don't know (your actual FB status). I'm overjoyed with what you left behind, and preferred to never have completely. I'll never hurt him like you did. I'm only here to love him correctly, honestly, and happily.
The love this man provides is nothing short of magical. The love we make is raw and real, and never something he's taught to hide. I am here for just him, vulnerable, and honest. I'm strong enough to live with the outcome of your delusions. I'll fight again to demonstrate.
Your shameless cycle here is complete. You wanted too much. You broke the golden rule, and thought you got away with it. My name, that day, was karma. And now you've lost it all. All the love you chose to ignore x2.
Don't pride yourself in having to do with the extraordinary man J has become. I know you like to claim credit for your immaculate significance in who he is today. Or whatever situation you put your sticky little hands on.
You have falsely idolized yourself for way too long. Carelessly led by your own immaturity for the better part of ten years. This disposition shows how stupid you really are.
You even tried to take credit for MY homecoming in J's life; once you realized he was no longer yours to control. You really pathologically think you had enough competence in you to make that happen?
Continue to blame others for your terrible actions. I honestly don't think anyone is listening anymore. Your premise is visible like a disease we all know to stay far away from.
You aren't a rose. You're a defective human and a pedophile.
-Madison
submitted by ChainFantastic8979 to letters [link] [comments]
My intuition told me about you. Your ego verified. I knew you only for months and knew the truth, yet you still had a whole family, blinded by manipulation for over a decade.
Unfortunately, for you, your unwillingness to humble yourself has now left you utterly alone. Exactly where you deserve to be.
Life handed you two choices. And both choices valued priceless. Yet you couldn't choose, because in some fucked up world, you believe you were warranted both. Despite how illelogical it really was.
I revealed your truth because it hurt me, too. Your secrets were burdening my soul. Even before actual validation. You have done the most unforgiving things one person can do, and I conveyed your wretchedness without hesitation. Selfish selflessness.
You had your great love. Your supposed soul mate. The love you bragged about. But at the same time, you had the love of their brother. A love you never earned. The love you had to keep secret. The one you SHOULD have married, huh?
It just doesn't seem like manipulation when you're benefitting with no repurcussion. But to have felt accomplished, manipulating a child for years, is unspeakable. And to think that child thought it was love, is saddening.
J was only twelve years old when your atrocious grooming began. You were a grown woman, and despite your naive nature, had years to realize what you were doing was wrong and actually disgusting.
This brother grew into a wonderful, fully conscious man. He took his abuse and planned to go to the grave with it. How terrible it must have felt to be in love, at so young, and never able to share it.
To think it was acceptable to be second choice to your brother. To cater to a woman whom already made her vows. To go so many years accepting a false love and encouragement. So brainwashed, all of this impulsively seemed right.
For years, you wove a deceitful web. Managed to hide your adultery from your spouse, secretly having an affair with his younger brother. But little did you know, I would soon come and rip your perfect vile world apart.
I was summoned to tell your lie. You were too cowardly to do it yourself. You didn't deserve half the love you received. You cannot take something that special for granted.
I was blessed with a beautiful, but broken, man. These are wounds that you inflicted. And somehow, unbeknownst to me, you think your choices were justified. Your pathological lies make up for predatory choices. But we see through those, now.
I'm sorry for the hearts that may have broken while I uncovered this affliction. I know I didn't create this pain, but it hurts ME knowing the person who caused this, sees no fault of their own. I'm embarrassed for you.
I am happy, however, you could not make a choice for yourself. I would possibly be without him now, if you, chose your steps correctly. But you need to see that he gives his love to me, openly. He does not have to hide anymore. He no longer has to carry this lie.
I know it hurts you to watch someone you 'love' become someone you don't know (your actual FB status). I'm overjoyed with what you left behind, and preferred to never have completely. I'll never hurt him like you did. I'm only here to love him correctly, honestly, and happily.
The love this man provides is nothing short of magical. The love we make is raw and real, and never something he's taught to hide. I am here for just him, vulnerable, and honest. I'm strong enough to live with the outcome of your delusions. I'll fight again to demonstrate.
Your shameless cycle here is complete. You wanted too much. You broke the golden rule, and thought you got away with it. My name, that day, was karma. And now you've lost it all. All the love you chose to ignore x2.
Don't pride yourself in having to do with the extraordinary man J has become. I know you like to claim credit for your immaculate significance in who he is today. Or whatever situation you put your sticky little hands on.
You have falsely idolized yourself for way too long. Carelessly led by your own immaturity for the better part of ten years. This disposition shows how stupid you really are.
You even tried to take credit for MY homecoming in J's life; once you realized he was no longer yours to control. You really pathologically think you had enough competence in you to make that happen?
Continue to blame others for your terrible actions. I honestly don't think anyone is listening anymore. Your premise is visible like a disease we all know to stay far away from.
You aren't a rose. You're a defective human and a pedophile.
-Madison
2024.05.14 10:21 glorious_echidna AIBU for “forcing” my sister to come and visit us?
The story about me (36f) and my sister (38f) is long and complicated, so I’ll try to summarise as short as possible, which is long anyway. (English is not my first language - sorry for grammar!)
Sister has some kind of psychological issues she refuse to deal with properly. I suspect BPD, but I may be very wrong. Mom mentioned she may have gotten a diagnosis lately, but didn’t remember if it’s ADHD or Autism. She’s a very extrovert person who thrives when being around people. She only has two moods: ecstatic or depressed. She absolutely worships people, until one day when she cast them down to the status of a devil. Nothing in between.
Her life is cyclical. It starts with finding a new area of interest that she dives head first into. She meets people doing this thing she’s interested in and idolise them. She says it’s her calling in life, and credits her new-found mental wellbeing to this new calling. She invests everything she has into the new thing - time and money, even starts working in the field. Then comes the depression. Every time she claims she has never felt like this before. The people she worshipped are discarded and branded “bad” or “crazy”. She relies on family to get her back on her feet, then find a new area of interest that “saves her”, and the cycle starts anew. Over and over again.
I broke with her almost 5 years ago. She was depressed and lived with our parents again at that time. I was back to school to get a new career after first being burnt out, then losing my job. My daughter was 3 years old. At that time, I realised my marriage was a huge cause of my own depression and that he was cruel to out child and decided to get a divorce. My ex was very abusive, so I was facing the threat of being homeless, jobless and lose custody. My sister ripped me to shreds and told me that my problems were nothing compared to hers, and that my situation did not excuse not being there for her. For context - she called me every day while I was in school and made me “talk her out of” doing things to herself for 2 hours - every day for weeks while refusing therapy or medication. I lost it.
We went NC about 1 year, then to very LC the last 3 years. It’s working kinda good! As long as I don’t get close to her, we can even see each other without drama. The times I’ve slipped up and allowed too much contact has been a disaster, she becomes possessive straight away and demand I apologise to her for what I did.
My daughter (8f) is the only child in the family. Thank goodness my sister hasn’t had any, and doesn’t plan to either. My sister instantly fell in love with her, before she was even born. While she seems to forget daughter’s existence from time to time, she also adores her from time to time. She showers daughter in gifts and attention. When they last hung out, Sister even pretended to love the very same things as Daughter, which at the time was rainbows and unicorns.
Since I broke with Sister, she has met Daughter 3 times. Once overnight 3 years ago, the other 2 times just a couple of hours outside of home. I do invite her here from time to time and say she’s always welcome, but she never does. She doesn’t bother coming here even if she’s in the area. She lives 4 hours away with car, and now claims she can’t travel here because her horse needs her. Good for us, I thought. Less drama.
But last week I found a package in the mail, addressed to Daughter. In it were the gifts Sister missed giving her - Christmas, Birthday and Easter. There was also a card, in which Sister writes how much she loves Daughter. Boxed in with a green marker, she writes that it’s her biggest dream to have Daughter visiting her for a weekend, and that she’s willing to meet us halfway to pick her up. She asked me a year or so ago, but I haven’t heard a word from her this year.
Yesterday, my mom said Sister has been in touch with her too, asking her to bring Daughter to her. No one asked me. Sister still sends Daughter unicorns and rainbows, even though Daughter hasn’t been into them for more than two years. She does not know my Daughter anymore.
Daughter loves her aunt, and often talk about her and makes her drawings and jewelary. She doesn’t know the issues my Sister has. She does not know she is forgotten for weeks, maybe months at a time. I’m scared my Sister will break her heart, or mess her up. I have not asked Daughter if she wants to go, and she didn’t say anything when reading the card either.
I told mom that Sister is always welcome to come here, and that I want her to come and see Daughter at least twice before I’m ok with Daughter going there (with my parents - not alone. Even mom agrees whole heartedly that Daughter should not go there alone). Mom thinks it’s unreasonable, because Sister is afraid of me and won’t come. I have never raised my voice to her. Never said harsh words. Just refused to do what she wants, so I feel it’s unfair to blame me.
What is your take on this? Am I being unreasonable to “force” my sister to come visit us in order to see my daughter?
submitted by glorious_echidna to Parenting [link] [comments]
Sister has some kind of psychological issues she refuse to deal with properly. I suspect BPD, but I may be very wrong. Mom mentioned she may have gotten a diagnosis lately, but didn’t remember if it’s ADHD or Autism. She’s a very extrovert person who thrives when being around people. She only has two moods: ecstatic or depressed. She absolutely worships people, until one day when she cast them down to the status of a devil. Nothing in between.
Her life is cyclical. It starts with finding a new area of interest that she dives head first into. She meets people doing this thing she’s interested in and idolise them. She says it’s her calling in life, and credits her new-found mental wellbeing to this new calling. She invests everything she has into the new thing - time and money, even starts working in the field. Then comes the depression. Every time she claims she has never felt like this before. The people she worshipped are discarded and branded “bad” or “crazy”. She relies on family to get her back on her feet, then find a new area of interest that “saves her”, and the cycle starts anew. Over and over again.
I broke with her almost 5 years ago. She was depressed and lived with our parents again at that time. I was back to school to get a new career after first being burnt out, then losing my job. My daughter was 3 years old. At that time, I realised my marriage was a huge cause of my own depression and that he was cruel to out child and decided to get a divorce. My ex was very abusive, so I was facing the threat of being homeless, jobless and lose custody. My sister ripped me to shreds and told me that my problems were nothing compared to hers, and that my situation did not excuse not being there for her. For context - she called me every day while I was in school and made me “talk her out of” doing things to herself for 2 hours - every day for weeks while refusing therapy or medication. I lost it.
We went NC about 1 year, then to very LC the last 3 years. It’s working kinda good! As long as I don’t get close to her, we can even see each other without drama. The times I’ve slipped up and allowed too much contact has been a disaster, she becomes possessive straight away and demand I apologise to her for what I did.
My daughter (8f) is the only child in the family. Thank goodness my sister hasn’t had any, and doesn’t plan to either. My sister instantly fell in love with her, before she was even born. While she seems to forget daughter’s existence from time to time, she also adores her from time to time. She showers daughter in gifts and attention. When they last hung out, Sister even pretended to love the very same things as Daughter, which at the time was rainbows and unicorns.
Since I broke with Sister, she has met Daughter 3 times. Once overnight 3 years ago, the other 2 times just a couple of hours outside of home. I do invite her here from time to time and say she’s always welcome, but she never does. She doesn’t bother coming here even if she’s in the area. She lives 4 hours away with car, and now claims she can’t travel here because her horse needs her. Good for us, I thought. Less drama.
But last week I found a package in the mail, addressed to Daughter. In it were the gifts Sister missed giving her - Christmas, Birthday and Easter. There was also a card, in which Sister writes how much she loves Daughter. Boxed in with a green marker, she writes that it’s her biggest dream to have Daughter visiting her for a weekend, and that she’s willing to meet us halfway to pick her up. She asked me a year or so ago, but I haven’t heard a word from her this year.
Yesterday, my mom said Sister has been in touch with her too, asking her to bring Daughter to her. No one asked me. Sister still sends Daughter unicorns and rainbows, even though Daughter hasn’t been into them for more than two years. She does not know my Daughter anymore.
Daughter loves her aunt, and often talk about her and makes her drawings and jewelary. She doesn’t know the issues my Sister has. She does not know she is forgotten for weeks, maybe months at a time. I’m scared my Sister will break her heart, or mess her up. I have not asked Daughter if she wants to go, and she didn’t say anything when reading the card either.
I told mom that Sister is always welcome to come here, and that I want her to come and see Daughter at least twice before I’m ok with Daughter going there (with my parents - not alone. Even mom agrees whole heartedly that Daughter should not go there alone). Mom thinks it’s unreasonable, because Sister is afraid of me and won’t come. I have never raised my voice to her. Never said harsh words. Just refused to do what she wants, so I feel it’s unfair to blame me.
What is your take on this? Am I being unreasonable to “force” my sister to come visit us in order to see my daughter?
2024.05.14 10:04 Nevada955 [REQUEST] [Steam] Diablo IV (9th attempt)
It should be the 9th attempt and this time is special because the season should start today!
Im part of this sub for a long time now and it feels so refreshing finding people that love games and likes to share they're hobby with others, both who can afford a game or gifts and who can't. The community its amazing and im gratefull to be part of it :D .
Today im here asking for help on getting Diablo IV! but lets deep-dive into the request a bit...shall we?
What is Diablo IV?:
Well, even if you're not an RPG or in this case, ARPG fan, you probably heard in your life about Diablo! it's probably the most famous ARPG of all times, it's been out for more than 20 years now and even with the latest up's and down's of the title in the past years, it's probably one of the best in its genre. For this reason i won't really make a wall of text about it, because im gonna be real, im a new player of ARPG's (beside playing some diablo 2/3 and path of exile years ago), the first one i took seriously was Last Epoch 1 month and half ago (amazing title, i suggest it to everyone that loves this type of games) so i don't really know a lot about Diablo IV lore, story, campaign etc. I kept spoilers away from me, because i think beauty of this genre, sometimes is to explore it by yourself without people telling you what to do and how to do at first.
Why i am requesting it now?:
As i said im a big fan of RPG's, MMORPG's and now recently ARPG's made space into my list of games that im loving and im starting to appreciate any one of them (beside Path of Exile where its still a bit hard for me, one day...one day).
I recently reached the "end" of the current Last Epoch "Season / Cycle" for the characters i made and i was looking deep into the genre, Diablo is game that i already played in the past (with diablo 2 maybe 3 even, years ago when i was a young boy) and i always had a great time playing it, also it's currently one of the two games on the market that's pretty new player friendly (like Last Epoch) and i heard/readed that they're improving the game a lot with the next seasons coming up in the next months, so this is probably the best time to jump in and learn the mechanics of this title and have fun with my friends or solo eventually, so to be prepared to the next big major content update for the game.
Im looking forward to play Barbarian class and then...we'll see heheh (im addicted to big muscle and big weapons characters ahah). I love the graphic, the enviroments, the aesthetic and the whole settings of the campaign (from what i saw on the steam trailer between last year and this week), it gives me a lot of old school rpg's vibes, also the character customization and combat seems amazing, really good to see.
Why im asking for your help currently?:
As you can imagine, right now, i don't have enough money to buy a copy of the game, even when it goes on sale still a price that i can't really afford. My job is not stable and every income i have goes towards my family, the bills and the GeForce Now subscription (cloud gaming platform that i use to play games on my old laptop, since my main computer died during the covid era and i couldn't buy a new one). Unfortunately i never had the opportunity to get the game even at launch or during 2023/early this year and it went out on sale always when i was short on money for gaming.
For this reason im asking for your help and for your generosity once again, since i met a lot of good people around here and all of them were great.
If you can or want to help me i will leave below my steam profile and the page of the game, i wish you really the best and thank you again for reading me <3 .
My Steam Profile: https://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561198259313755/ Diablo IV Steam page
submitted by Nevada955 to GiftofGames [link] [comments]
Im part of this sub for a long time now and it feels so refreshing finding people that love games and likes to share they're hobby with others, both who can afford a game or gifts and who can't. The community its amazing and im gratefull to be part of it :D .
Today im here asking for help on getting Diablo IV! but lets deep-dive into the request a bit...shall we?
What is Diablo IV?:
Well, even if you're not an RPG or in this case, ARPG fan, you probably heard in your life about Diablo! it's probably the most famous ARPG of all times, it's been out for more than 20 years now and even with the latest up's and down's of the title in the past years, it's probably one of the best in its genre. For this reason i won't really make a wall of text about it, because im gonna be real, im a new player of ARPG's (beside playing some diablo 2/3 and path of exile years ago), the first one i took seriously was Last Epoch 1 month and half ago (amazing title, i suggest it to everyone that loves this type of games) so i don't really know a lot about Diablo IV lore, story, campaign etc. I kept spoilers away from me, because i think beauty of this genre, sometimes is to explore it by yourself without people telling you what to do and how to do at first.
Why i am requesting it now?:
As i said im a big fan of RPG's, MMORPG's and now recently ARPG's made space into my list of games that im loving and im starting to appreciate any one of them (beside Path of Exile where its still a bit hard for me, one day...one day).
I recently reached the "end" of the current Last Epoch "Season / Cycle" for the characters i made and i was looking deep into the genre, Diablo is game that i already played in the past (with diablo 2 maybe 3 even, years ago when i was a young boy) and i always had a great time playing it, also it's currently one of the two games on the market that's pretty new player friendly (like Last Epoch) and i heard/readed that they're improving the game a lot with the next seasons coming up in the next months, so this is probably the best time to jump in and learn the mechanics of this title and have fun with my friends or solo eventually, so to be prepared to the next big major content update for the game.
Im looking forward to play Barbarian class and then...we'll see heheh (im addicted to big muscle and big weapons characters ahah). I love the graphic, the enviroments, the aesthetic and the whole settings of the campaign (from what i saw on the steam trailer between last year and this week), it gives me a lot of old school rpg's vibes, also the character customization and combat seems amazing, really good to see.
Why im asking for your help currently?:
As you can imagine, right now, i don't have enough money to buy a copy of the game, even when it goes on sale still a price that i can't really afford. My job is not stable and every income i have goes towards my family, the bills and the GeForce Now subscription (cloud gaming platform that i use to play games on my old laptop, since my main computer died during the covid era and i couldn't buy a new one). Unfortunately i never had the opportunity to get the game even at launch or during 2023/early this year and it went out on sale always when i was short on money for gaming.
For this reason im asking for your help and for your generosity once again, since i met a lot of good people around here and all of them were great.
If you can or want to help me i will leave below my steam profile and the page of the game, i wish you really the best and thank you again for reading me <3 .
My Steam Profile: https://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561198259313755/ Diablo IV Steam page
2024.05.14 10:00 AutoModerator CHAT Community Thread - Tue May 14
*** Comments mentioning anything related to treatment, trying to conceive, or family building measures in this thread will be removed via our OFF TOPIC rule. Consider if you were taking a break from treatment because you were exhausted and sad - treatment (yes anything related to it) goes in treatment **\*
Coping with infertility is complex, and it is our imperative to create places where we can honor the distinctly unique needs created by infertility. Sit beside us and share what’s on your mind and going on in your life. This is a great place to get to know your fellow members outside the gravity of treatment. Discussion here includes, but is not limited to:
Example of the difference between the Treatment and Chat Thread:
Comments for the Treatment Thread
Last reminder - this is the CHAT thread. Not the place to discuss anything focused on treatment, TTC, or family building measures.
submitted by AutoModerator to infertility [link] [comments]
Coping with infertility is complex, and it is our imperative to create places where we can honor the distinctly unique needs created by infertility. Sit beside us and share what’s on your mind and going on in your life. This is a great place to get to know your fellow members outside the gravity of treatment. Discussion here includes, but is not limited to:
- Venting about the impact of infertility on our lives/relationships/careers
- Non-IF Rants of all kind – marriage, career, societal, social media, friendships, mental health, and yes… politics too. It doesn’t need to be infertility related!
- Discussions around dealing with the influence of infertility – therapy, coping methods, finding supportive friends, getting lapped by a friend, dealing with pregnancy announcements, pushy parents, people that don’t understand, etc. The big picture stuff.
- Sharing stories and parts of your life (pictures of pets always welcome!) outside of infertility
Example of the difference between the Treatment and Chat Thread:
Comments for the Treatment Thread
- Literally anything that involves or mentions treatment, trying to conceive, or any family building measures: paying for it, being exhausted by it, fighting about it, telling other people about it. If anything about your comment has anything to do with treatment or TTC, it belongs in the treatment thread. Also including diagnostic tests, medication, lab results, or lifestyle measures taking in the hopes of improving treatment outcome.
- I'm in the TWW, and I'm glad I scheduled a vacation as a distraction!
- I'm trying to decide if I should delay my egg retrieval cycle because this is a big work month for me.
- I told my parents about IVF, and they were incredibly supportive. I feel really grateful.
- You can of course still discuss infertility in the chat thread:
- I am super bummed about being lapped by a friend.
- I have two currently pregnant coworkers, and I am losing my mind with all the pregnancy discussion.
- Today is the anniversary of my loss, and I'm really struggling.
- Or you can discuss things unrelated to infertility:
- Whoa, my dogwalker taught my dog to roll over.
- There's this donut place next to my work that sells donuts for $5 each, but the WILD thing is that they're worth it!
- My spouse and I are planning a trip to Europe. Opinions on Italy vs Greece?
- Positive HPT or Beta Results (including Beta Hell) should only be posted in the Results thread as per the rules (except for confirmed loss): https://www.reddit.com/infertility/search?q=flair_name%3A%22Results%22
- We recognize that the AM/PM distinction doesn’t match up with every time zone in our global community, we ask that you pick the most recently posted thread wherever you are.
- Standalone culture here is saved for complex topics, usually including detailed conversations around scientific studies, or asking multi-part complex questions around treatment plans. We strongly recommend posting in the community threads first. If you aren’t sure, ask in the daily threads first!
Last reminder - this is the CHAT thread. Not the place to discuss anything focused on treatment, TTC, or family building measures.
2024.05.14 09:53 shaneka69 CANCER ZODIAC - UNEXPECTED INCOME! TAROT READING MAY 2024
CANCER ZODIAC TAROT READING - UNEXPECTED INCOME MAY 2024
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2024.05.14 09:52 rainysunshine_ Had this for grown from seed. Plant life lasted around 5 months. What is this?
 | Never had a flower. Ants and aphids loved its top leaves. submitted by rainysunshine_ to whatsthisplant [link] [comments] |
2024.05.14 09:48 tiktaalik_jr Coping with avoidance
Hi I am new to this sub and I have been ignoring this issue for a good part of my life but recently, the consequences seem to be catching up with me.
I have been avoiding social interactions, whether it be F2F or through a medium. However, this only applies to certain groups of people. I have no problem socially with some groups of people. I have realised that the people I tend to avoid are people that have an expectation of me to fulfil duties of sorts.
Many people in my social circle thinks that I’m an extrovert because I could express myself clearly and well, always able to keep a conversation going smoothly. But on the inside, I realised that I really do not crave any social interaction.
New interactions that bring new duties always starts out fine but I eventually fall back into the same pattern. I am fully aware that my actions are not rational but avoidance has turned into some sort of drug for me. And I’m addicted to it.
It would start out as not wanting to return a text / email, and as I continually ignore these, they turn into calls or even visits to my home. And these cause me anxiety and makes me loathe myself even more. Notifications, phone calls and footsteps at my door are all sounds of impending consequences to me now, even if they are very much benign.
My impetus for avoidance starts out as my need for some alone time, and then it evolves into a fear of facing the disdain of the other party.
I can’t seem to break out of this vicious cycle because the barrier of facing the consequences is too intimidating for my weak mind, especially after this protracted avoidance period.
I have considered moving to some place where no one knows me to start anew. But I’m pretty sure that’s only a temporary solution, and a pretty avoidant one too.
I would like to face this issue now and I would appreciate if anyone who has went through or know someone that did could give me some much needed advice on facing it.
submitted by tiktaalik_jr to mentalhealth [link] [comments]
I have been avoiding social interactions, whether it be F2F or through a medium. However, this only applies to certain groups of people. I have no problem socially with some groups of people. I have realised that the people I tend to avoid are people that have an expectation of me to fulfil duties of sorts.
Many people in my social circle thinks that I’m an extrovert because I could express myself clearly and well, always able to keep a conversation going smoothly. But on the inside, I realised that I really do not crave any social interaction.
New interactions that bring new duties always starts out fine but I eventually fall back into the same pattern. I am fully aware that my actions are not rational but avoidance has turned into some sort of drug for me. And I’m addicted to it.
It would start out as not wanting to return a text / email, and as I continually ignore these, they turn into calls or even visits to my home. And these cause me anxiety and makes me loathe myself even more. Notifications, phone calls and footsteps at my door are all sounds of impending consequences to me now, even if they are very much benign.
My impetus for avoidance starts out as my need for some alone time, and then it evolves into a fear of facing the disdain of the other party.
I can’t seem to break out of this vicious cycle because the barrier of facing the consequences is too intimidating for my weak mind, especially after this protracted avoidance period.
I have considered moving to some place where no one knows me to start anew. But I’m pretty sure that’s only a temporary solution, and a pretty avoidant one too.
I would like to face this issue now and I would appreciate if anyone who has went through or know someone that did could give me some much needed advice on facing it.
2024.05.14 09:28 Death_Sw0rn Life is completely pointless!
There's been probably millions of species that have came and went, and no longer exist. Humans are just another one of those species that will go through that cycle. Even though we currently dominate the Earth and think so highly of ourselves, we often forget that our existence is temporary. Once humanity dies off, another species will take our place. Eventually, Earth will become uninhabitable, and life as we know it will cease to exist here.
But the universe wont stop when that happens, it'll just keep going. It'll continue indefinitely after we're gone. I don't really find life that interesting at all, and I personally would've preferred to never exist, but at the end of the day what difference does it make. At the end of the day, what difference does it make what earthly affairs we have going on. It wont change the inevitable. It wont change the fact that this is all one big pointless joke.
No matter how bad life gets, how expensive things become, or how terrible your parents are, how much suffering you go through, these are all just temporary earthly matters. It doesn't even matter if you choose to live or die; everything we think is important is actually completely insignificant. Perhaps in another dimension, if we were rulers of the universe with immortality, things might matter. But as things stand here, everything is completely pointless. Once the huma race is eliminated from existence, it'll be as if we never existed. There will never be a species that will be intelligent enough to find traces of our existence. We will just be swept in the dust bin of history, alongside the Dinosaurs and Homo Sapiens.
If it wasn't obvious enough, religion is a complete lie. Its only purpose is to make you believe there's meaning and purpose when there really isn't. God is simply a fictional creation made by humans. Once humanity is wiped out, the concept of God will vanish. And once again, the universe will continue indefinitely.
submitted by Death_Sw0rn to askgaybros [link] [comments]
But the universe wont stop when that happens, it'll just keep going. It'll continue indefinitely after we're gone. I don't really find life that interesting at all, and I personally would've preferred to never exist, but at the end of the day what difference does it make. At the end of the day, what difference does it make what earthly affairs we have going on. It wont change the inevitable. It wont change the fact that this is all one big pointless joke.
No matter how bad life gets, how expensive things become, or how terrible your parents are, how much suffering you go through, these are all just temporary earthly matters. It doesn't even matter if you choose to live or die; everything we think is important is actually completely insignificant. Perhaps in another dimension, if we were rulers of the universe with immortality, things might matter. But as things stand here, everything is completely pointless. Once the huma race is eliminated from existence, it'll be as if we never existed. There will never be a species that will be intelligent enough to find traces of our existence. We will just be swept in the dust bin of history, alongside the Dinosaurs and Homo Sapiens.
If it wasn't obvious enough, religion is a complete lie. Its only purpose is to make you believe there's meaning and purpose when there really isn't. God is simply a fictional creation made by humans. Once humanity is wiped out, the concept of God will vanish. And once again, the universe will continue indefinitely.
2024.05.14 09:26 Old_Comedian_4540 20f and struggling with life
this may be long but bear with me as there’s a lot I want to get off my chest. since I was around 13, i’ve had a rocky relationship with God. it’s been up and down, where sometimes I’ll pray and try and get closer to God, but it felt like a chore. Then i’d lose motivation and faith and stop. and it was just this ongoing cycle until I was 19. This was when I had a really traumatic sexual experience that happened this academic year. I don’t want to go into much detail but the lines of consent and non consent was extremely blurred. It was such a hard time and opening up to my mum helped me a lot, and then she got me closer to God. since then things haven’t been completely smooth, but they’ve been smoother than they’ve ever been. I pray and actually find answers, I feel more passionate about it, and it doesn’t feel as much like a chore anymore. He’s even showed himself to me in quite a few miraculous coincidences. I have no doubt that He’s real, but I struggle to put my complete faith in Him. For example, at the moment I’m really stressed about uni. Because of everything that happened this year, it’s been a tough year mentally so I neglected my school work a bit. I’m so worried that I won’t do ell enough at the end of this year. I already know I’m going to have to do some resits, but you’re capped at 40% with a resit at my uni. I really want a 2:1 at the end of next year, my final year, but I’m worried that with the way things have gone with this year that it won’t happen. It feels extremely futile and hopeless. I’m also stressed and worried about countless other things. I could make a long list of all the things I worry about. Sometimes when i’m just relaxing, i start thinking to myself “why aren’t i worrying about something, i need to worry about something”. I don’t know why I struggle with faith if I believe in him. I think sometimes I worry that he’ll allow me to continue suffering to teach me a lesson for something or as a test or something like that. I frankly can’t stomach another test from God, I just want a moment of peace in my life.
How do you put your full trust and faith in God even in times of uncertainty, and how do you grow closer to Him?
submitted by Old_Comedian_4540 to TrueChristian [link] [comments]
How do you put your full trust and faith in God even in times of uncertainty, and how do you grow closer to Him?
2024.05.14 09:26 andrea_rene My Carpenteria’s biggest blooms ever 😍
 | This one large Carpenteria Californica shrub was the inspiration for my CA native garden makeover. It was one of the few shrubs that survived the drought years before 2023, because it’s in a north facing garden bed that is almost in total shade. (1-2hrs of sun a day) submitted by andrea_rene to Ceanothus [link] [comments] It’s also one of 3 shrubs in our lonely garden beds that the builder who flipped our house didn’t pull out. I’m glad some newly installed drip lines and careful pruning has brought it back to life! I bought some additional ones I’m nursing back to health after they arrived very sad from a local nursery. Other new plants include Apricot Mallow, Clarkia wildflowers from seed, Seaside Daisies, and some the tallest white sage plants I’ve ever seen. I’m planning to do a full before/after showing my previous 2500sq ft+ of former lawn conversion once my little 1gal plants have a season or so to grow. **If you’re wondering why the rest of the bed looks empty it’s because my resident gopher has eaten ALL OF MY PENSTEMMON. :( He’s going to be owl dinner soon 😡 |