Pregnant clomid miscarriages

I had a miscarriage early April and hubby and I were devastated. We were so excited to add baby 2 to the family but made peace with having an early loss and carried on. May 9th I found out I’m pregnant again. Not sure how quickly I got pregnant/how far along I am but I’m so shocked! I thought It’d take me some time to get pregnant again but I did pretty much immediately.
I’m genuinely curious how often that happens? Has this happened to anyone else? (Before anyone questions my HCG went down immediately with the MC, and I was fully negative on test and blood work about a week and a half after so I know this is genuinely a new pregnancy.)

TL;DR: After 3 miscarriages and a diagnosis of DOR, I had two healthy pregnancies without IVF or other ART.
We started TTC when I was 35.5, my partner 37. We got pregnant quickly, and quickly had 3 miscarriages, all around 8 or 9 weeks. We never had them tested, but my OB suspected genetic abnormalities.
My partner's test results were normal for a man his age. After the 2nd miscarriage, I had bloodwork and an SHG, a procedure where my OB filled my uterus with saline and looked at it on an ultrasound to see whether I had any visible issues that could explain what was wrong. This procedure was timed to a specific day in my menstrual cycle, so that while we were at it, she could look at my ovaries on the ultrasound as well, to make a prediction about how many eggs she could expect to retrieve if we decided to try IVF.
The SHG turned out normal. My uterus was perfectly fine. My ovaries, however, looked like those of a woman nearing menopause. My antral follicle count (AFC) was only 4. If we did IVF now, the doctor said, that’s how many eggs she expected to harvest -- just 4. Not nearly enough for a promising cycle. The results from the blood test also corresponded to the levels of a menopausal woman. Here are the numbers, for those of you who already know what these mean:
Day 3 AMH: 0.311
Estradiol: 23.8
FSH: 13.8
I might have looked 30 on the outside, but I’d just turned 36, and on the inside I was closer to 50. Our doctor did not recommend that we move forward with IVF. We asked her what we could do instead. She suggested I try supplementing with DHEA, and gave us the recommended dosage (25 mg 3 times/day, for a total of 75 mg daily). She also recommended CoQ10, though she didn’t have a suggested dosage for that, and noted that my vitamin D levels were low. I started supplementing with each of those three things.
I noticed the effects of the DHEA very quickly. It’s an androgen, and can cause women to start sprouting extra body hair. My libido sprang up to teenager levels, and I got acne again.
I decided to take only 200 mg/day of the CoQ10 because it was expensive. That and the vitamin D seemed to give me more energy, maybe, but I couldn’t say for sure.
It took us longer to get pregnant the 3rd time. The miscarriage was the same.
Our OB explained again why she didn't recommend IVF for women with DOR, and told us about a patient of hers who’d had 9 miscarriages before having a successful pregnancy. We were lucky we were able to get pregnant so easily, she said. We were lucky that we didn’t have any other issues compounding the DOR.
If we wanted to explore other options, she told us, our best chance was to use an egg donor. Other than that, all we could do was keep trying. During my fertile window, and given our age, she recommended intercourse every 48 hours.
I doubled down on my research. I read everything I could find online, and read a lot of posts on message boards like the one I’m writing now. Here’s what I decided to do:

1. Lots of exercise, or at least “lots” by my desk-worker standards (brisk walks every day, gentle training with 10-to-20-pound weights a few times a week, and frequent bike rides)
2. Lots of time being happy and relaxed and out in the sun
3. Supplements:
   1. DHEA, 75 mg/day divided in 3 doses
   2. CoQ10, 800 mg/day (ubiquinone, the cheaper kind)
   3. Vitamin D3, 2,000 IU/day
   4. Acetyl L-carnitine, or Alcar, 250 mg/day (the typical dose is 500 mg, but I found this amount gave me nightmares; at 250 mg I felt more energetic, like I could do twice as much exercising as I normally did)
   5. Alpha lipoic acid, 300 mg/day (this makes your urine stink, but it’s inexpensive and safe, and in addition to helping with fertility, I also found studies about its benefit to diabetics and its effect on the pancreas)
   6. Black cohosh on cycle days 1 through 12 (it’s an herb, so I have no idea how much I was actually getting)
   7. Vitex (ditto)
   8. Prenatal vitamins
   9. Fish oil (why not)
   10. More soy foods and freshly ground flax seeds in my diet, for extra estrogen

A note about CoQ10: There are two kinds on the market, a cheaper one (ubiquinone) and an expensive one (ubiquinol), which is supposed to be better absorbed. Both are similar in structure to vitamin E, but are not classified as vitamins because your body can make them on its own. I went with a low-ish dosage of the expensive one the first time around, but after the third miscarriage, I switched to a higher dose of the cheaper one, 800 mg. I definitely noticed an increase in energy while I was taking it.
Here is a study on CoQ10 in follicular fluid and its association with better outcomes: https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s00404-011-2169-2
Here’s another (“Conclusion: Our observation leads to the hypothesis that the oral supplementation of CoQ10 may improve follicular fluid oxidative metabolism and oocyte quality, specially in over 35-year-old women”): https://www.mdpi.com/2076-3921/7/10/141
The positive news about CoQ10 keeps coming. I’ll stop with these: https://rbej.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s12958-018-0343-0, https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/acel.12368
From what I learned while researching this stuff, both CoQ10 and acetyl l-carnitine are antioxidants that are thought to be active in the mitochondria. The mitochondria is sometimes called the “battery” of the cell, supplying its energy as it does its job. After an egg leaves the nourishing environment of the ovary for its journey down the fallopian tube, its only source of energy is its own mitochondria. That’s what keeps it fresh and alive. So an antioxidant that might help the mitochondria have more energy might be crucial for keeping egg cells, and the DNA inside them, better organized for longer -- long enough to conceive. This theory would apply to sperm cells as well, and is thought to be why taking these supplements gives people more energy. Young people have a lot of CoQ10 in their bodies, but after age 25 or so, our natural production goes down.
Here’s a study about egg quality and acetyl l-carnitine (ALCAR): https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0378432012002436
There isn’t as much research, especially in humans, on ACLAR as there is on CoQ10, but what’s been done so far looks promising. Here’s a study in mice: https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0378432012002436
As for alpha lipoic acid (ALA), my understanding is that this is thought to be beneficial for diabetics because of its effects on the pancreas. The pancreas and the ovaries are similar in the way they age (again, according to things I read while I was researching like crazy). While I’m not overweight, I’ve always had high blood sugar, and have type 2 diabetes on both sides of my family. So I added this to my regimen too.
Research: ALA supplementation is thought to be safe during pregnancy: https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/09513590.2018.1462320
A small study has shown ALA to be helpful in patients with PCOS undergoing IVF: https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Luisa_Caponecchia/publication/303088959_Effect_of_myo-inositol_and_alpha-lipoic_acid_on_oocyte_quality_in_polycystic_ovary_syndrome_non-obese_women_undergoing_in_vitro_fertilization_a_pilot_study/links/584fb41c08ae4bc8993b3211/Effect-of-myo-inositol-and-alpha-lipoic-acid-on-oocyte-quality-in-polycystic-ovary-syndrome-non-obese-women-undergoing-in-vitro-fertilization-a-pilot-study.pdf
Anyway, if you're still reading, pregnancy number 4 was a success. I quit every supplement except for prenatal vitamins. My doctor at the IVF clinic put me on progesterone until I got through week 10, in case a progesterone deficiency was the cause of my previous miscarriages. She’d never tested for this, so the progesterone was just a precaution. I’d always been plenty nauseated with each of my pregnancies, and the supplemental progesterone only made it worse. All I could eat were dry crackers. After reading a few things about the potential effects of progesterone on an embryo, I don’t think I’d do it again, not unless my doctor had a test result suggesting that it was what I really needed.
My doctor also recommended I start taking baby aspirin, 81 mgs/day, to be continued throughout the pregnancy, in case I had an issue with blood clotting that was causing the miscarriages. She’d never tested me for it, and given my AFC and AMH and FSH levels, it seemed like we already knew what my problem was, but she said it couldn’t hurt, so I went on it and stayed on it until 36 weeks.
Two years later, while I was supplementing with just prenatal vitamins and CoQ10, and without really trying, we got pregnant again. Baby #1 is now five years old, and #2 is three.

I 27f and my husband 30m have been trying to get pregnant since 2022, with no success and a few miscarriages. currently my period is late but I have not tested positive, all immediate negatives, and I would have tested positive if I was by now.
a few weeks ago my friend 25f sent me a message of positive pregnancy tests and told me she was pregnant and very excited, after only trying since January of this year. I fucking hate her for it. I hate her for getting pregnant so quickly and I wish something would happen, but I would never wish that feeling on anyone. I don’t have anyone to talk to about these feelings and I just feel like a terrible person, who doesn’t deserve to have a baby because I thought this about someone else, and I can’t get therapy because there’s none near me in network. I hate this person I am.
thank you for anyone who read this.

Mental health + potential trigger warning (fertility/miscarriage)
I was diagnosed with PCOS at around 13 years old. More than half of my life, I knew I would probably struggle to conceive. In my mid 20s, I had to have an ovary removed. So... there ½ of my whatever eggs I had disappeared. During this time, we also started on gynaecological cancer prevention. At my last gynie appointment, my doctor saw something on my other ovary that she wasn't 100% happy about. I'm back to 6-month check-ups; I'll be seeing my gynie in about a month.
I'm struggling with hypothyroidism and diabetes/insulin resistance. My one female GP is at least treating me with my PCOS in mind. I'm getting so tired of all the tablets... but as I age, it gets more and more. I'm not even going to get into the exercise side of things because as fellow PCOS girlies, you get it.
Now... about the mental health... it's been a bad two-ish months. And I horrible laat week and a bit.
I've never wanted to have children of my own. From a young age, it never bothered me. Going into my 20s, it also never bothered me. The idea of be being pregnant always grossed me out - never minded other women being pregnant, just the thought of me growing a human inside of me was icky. I have always concentrated on my academics and work. But, one of the biggest influences was that (and still is), is that I don't think I would make a good mom. I accepted that. I don't have pressure of a partner wanting biological children with me. I don't even have a partner (which is a whole other emotional toll when all my friends are engaged or married). I don't have that want... that desire... to have children.
I've started having nightmares about not being able to conceive, or if I do, it'll all end in miscarriages. I don't know why those thoughts are haunting my unconscious (and now conscious) mind. Often I can't sleep (my insomniahas become worse. I'm kept awake by a hurricane of thoughts. I have sudden bursts of extreme anxiety and fear. Heart pulsations. I have vivid nightmares of negative pregnancy tests, or losing a child in a miscarriage, staring up at a hospital roof while my partner sleeps in a chair next to me, and such. I'm not an extreme emotions person usually, but this past week my emotions have been everywhere. At 03:30 I was sitting on the bedroom floor, clutching a pillow, and crying at the thought of not being able to have children. Last last three-ish days, the teats randomly fall. I'm exhausted.
Is this the "I can feel my biological clock ticking" feeling? I don't lo9k at babies and children and gawk and "Awwwwww, I want one!" I don't feel I want that though? Nothing in my brain or 'heart' is saying, "You must have one of your own." I looove my friends' children, but I'm so happy when we finally past ways and I can breathe!
I guess... having the choice of having children being potentially taken away is a huge factor?
Did/Do these thoughts also plague you? What did you do to cope and come to terms with these thoughts and feelings? I'm assuming there will be, but what about you ladies who didn't/don't want children... were you also haunted by these weird feelings? What helped you?

I am 22 and have always known I want kids, but I’m also a student and know I want to wait until I have finished my studies. Recently I have been quite sick, and the doctor suspects endometriosis, I also have an actuate uterus. This means even if I want kids I may not be able to, and I may struggle with miscarriages along the way. But these are maybe scenarios, but still things that live in my head. My boyfriends sister got married and shortly after got pregnant, she didn’t seem thrilled and spoke somewhat negatively about it like “ i didn’t want to get pregnant so soon” “i didn’t expect this would happen so quick” not super negative but she is very religious so in my opinion this is inappropriate. You know how babies are made, if you are that religious you know you are having sex for the purpose of children. Anyway, the way they spoke upset me at the beginning of the pregnancy, she didn’t even smile when she told me she just complained about food and said to me “oh yeah I’m pregnant.” Which was weird I didn’t know how to react. As the pregnancy progressed she has just complained a lot, complained her stomach is upset she feels nauseous, baby kicks too much etc. I personally feel like the baby kicking should be exciting, like your baby is growing and you can feel it that is awesome. And every time I went over for family dinners she would complain about food and smells etc. Which I get your pregnant but I have endometriosis and I’m nauseous all the time, smells make vomit rise in my throat all the time and I just stay quiet cuz it’s weird to complain about someone’s home cooked meal like that. Btw we are all meeting at my boyfriend’s parents house for dinners, my boyfriend and I, his sister and her husband and his parents. So I am getting a bit tired of the lack of excitement over a baby but whatever. Now they don’t want to live in a rental with the baby and can’t find a home, so they decide to move back in with her parents before the baby is due. her husband is also quite sexist and clearly disapproves of me being a woman completing a science degree (engineer) and can be quite rude. So I already didn’t love being around her and her husband because they obviously didn’t like me much. There was one dinner my boyfriend’s mum gave them a bunch of new baby supplies, sheets, bibs and blankets etc and they complained about the texture. I felt awful, my boyfriend’s mum was so excited and they just insulted her gifts, very rude imo. Fast forward more time and they moved in, had dinner with them, they were extremely rude to me I’m upset. But I still knit them a baby sweater because I want to give their baby a gift. The baby is due this week and I’m dreading it. I don’t fit in with his family super well, but his parents like me well enough. His sister and her husband don’t like me at all but that’s okay except that they now live in his house. I don’t know why I feel so awful about this baby, I feel really upset when I’m around her and her husband so I can’t go to my boyfriend’s house anymore. But I don’t want to offend anyone by refusing to see their baby. But I also don’t think they want me near their baby. I’m also upset that I may never have children and they have been anything but greatful the whole pregnancy. And I’m scared I’ll be completely kicked out of their family dynamic once the baby comes. I just want to feel love too, and like I belong there and like my decisions and the way I live my life is respected. And I don’t want to break up with my boyfriend ever I love him. But the stress of this is really upsetting me and I don’t know what to do. My boyfriend has heard all this and has been very nice but he still doesn’t quite get how I feel. Am I just a total jerk or can anyone relate to this at all?

Originally posted this in the miscarriage sub, but my post was immediately hidden and I really could use the advice and/or support. Please take this down if it’s not allowed. I know I don’t qualify as “pregnant people” but I did barely 24 hours ago.
Yesterday I lost my first pregnancy at ~10 weeks. Obviously this is very fresh (and still actively happening) so I’m in the processing phase. But I have so many questions/could use some support. This was my (25) first ever pregnancy, it was unexpected but very wanted. I’ve had a feeling something was up for a week or two, but to have the blood start on Mother’s Day has felt like a purposeful slap in the face from the universe. It’s like my body wanted to play some cruel, sick joke on me.
All I can think about is the baby I don’t get to have. The kid I never get to know. The life I prepared for that is now dust in the wind. My partner has been saying we’ll try again as soon as I’m ready, but I know in my heart that I can’t go through a loss like this again. I want a baby but with the way this has played out it feels like fate is telling me I don’t deserve it, that I’m not meant to be a mother.
I guess my point in posting is to ask: How do I move on from this? Does it get better or is it this overwhelming grief for the rest of my life? I had more to ask but my brain isn’t working right. So any advice, solidarity, or stories are very welcomed. Thank you in advance… and happy Mother’s Day to those who have their babies and/or have lost them like I have.

My family and I (24F) found out at the end of last summer, around the beginning of August that my cousin (25F) is actually my sister. Three DNA tests confirmed it. A little back story for you- this has been a “joke” in my dad’s side of the family for my whole life. Mostly coming from him. “What if __ is really your sister? laughs I’m just kidding there’s no way.” Always those types of jokes. I never thought anything about it because she looks SO much like my uncle, but my dad and him look very similar. Also her birthday and my birthday are so close that my dad would’ve had to of cheated on my mom when they FIRST met. Okay. Now to why I thing incest is going on. She started talking to my dad pretty often in August, they did the first test (23 & Me) came back as my half sister. She lived in a different state at that time (August 2023). There’s talk about her trying to plan a trip up to “meet” us all (even though she’s met us all before???) with her fiancé that she had been with for about 6-7 months. Every time it was gonna happen it didn’t. Early September she finds out she’s pregnant. Late September, she finds out she had a miscarriage. She says she needs support bc she has none in the state she’s in. (At that time she lived with her mom and step dad and her two kids, I know her mom, she can be the hovering type but she is VERY OPENLY supportive of her) So she comes to visit for a weekend. They’re at the grocery store (my dad, half sister, my full blood brother, and her fiance) she said she “lost the rest of the baby” now I’ve been lucky enough to never have to experience a miscarriage so I don’t know how that works. She leaves on Sunday. Comes back again the next weekend. Goes home again that Sunday. The next time she came, she didn’t leave. She moved in that quickly. Left her kids with her mom, and said she wanted to build a better life for them. Good for her! After she moves in, the whole house shifted. Mind you, she did move in with her fiancé. There was tension everyday. Arguments way more often than ever in this house not just between her and her finance, but everybody (in the house was:my step-mom, the fiance, my dad, my brother, my half sister, me, my boyfriend, and my 5 kids) They start sitting hip to hip. Not too weird. Then she started following him everywhere. Like to the point where he got up to go to the bathroom, and she followed and stood by the door until he was finished. Then they start holding hands. Openly btw. My step mom confronts that, he says that (we’ll call her A) A, just needs someone, she wants him to make her feel loved, and protected. Whenever they would leave, it was always just them and my brother or just them. Her fiance NEVER went with them ANYWHERE. He started thinking there was someone else because they weren’t having sex, she didn’t want to be around him, wasn’t affectionate, barely talked to him. Weird thing is those same things were happening to my dad and step mom’s relationship of 12 years. December comes, and they’re “staying up so late” they fall asleep on the couch, her head on his lap, or shoulder, him sitting upright. Then it upgrades to them spooning on the couch. Then they start sleeping in my brothers room (he slept in the living room for a while before he started letting them sleep in there, I don’t remember the reason but he is 23). So they start sleeping in my brothers room. So the set up at that point was, my dad and A in one room, my brother in the living room, step mom in what used to be my dad and her room, the fiance on the third floor in what used to be his and A’s room, me and my family in the basement (it’s finished and there’s more room down here). Around Christmas, we find out she’s pregnant. The only people that knew were: me, my boyfriend, my brother and my dad. She didn’t want the fiance to know because she was planning on leaving him in a week from then, and she didn’t want our step mom to know because she didn’t want her to tell the fiance. I thought it was immediately weird, given the sleeping arrangements. So a week goes by, she goes to her old town to get her other daughter (court order—not gonna go into details w/ that) but the fiancé stays home for only the 2nd time. They make these trips every weekend, it was all 3 of them up until about the second week of December ‘23. She breaks up with him, and he comes down to my room, and is bawling. Like, I’ve never seen a man cry like that. He goes on to say that they havent been the same in months, there has to be somebody else she doesn’t love him anymore. We talk with him, try to comfort him, say our goodbyes and then he goes to get some things from our garage. My bf follows him, and the finance ends up saying either: they haven’t had sex at all since the miscarriage in September’23 OR they haven’t had much sex since the miscarriage in September ‘23. So he moves back to his home town, and then they come home on Sunday like they always do. Except this time, they start sleeping in A’s OLD bedroom. The one her and the fiancé shared. Even more privacy. Fast forward to now. They’re still sleeping in that bedroom, she has sex toys in her night stand (I thought she stole a hair claw from me so I went snooping, I know invasion of privacy but she had the EXACT hair claw that I had, and mine was missing), my dad waits on her, gets her food, drinks etc. He’s been to every single baby appointment she’s had (I did confront him abt this because I have 5 kids and he’s NEVER been to ANY of my OBGYN appointments or ultrasounds for them, his reasoning for going with her is that she has nobody up here), he asked my brother if THEY could take over his room again when she’s has the baby which is September. (Which makes the conceived month, December), He stopped making comments to me about wearing a tank top or shorts. He used to say something along the lines of “you look like a hooker” or “put more clothes on” now, nothing. My step-mom got sick and is in a nursing home now, and has been for over a month and he still hasn’t went back to his bedroom. He washes their clothes (in my head, what 48y/o dad would be washing/touching his 25y/o daughter’s bras, and underwear? He’s never done my laundry, and him and my step mom always did their own). I don’t think ITA for thinking these things, but I’m wondering what others would think if they were in this situation I guess.
Edit: I forgot to add, when they started sleeping in my brothers room I went in there to wrap presents for my kids. My dad had a white t shirt on the bed, and I picked it up. As I did that, the shirt unstuck itself. Clearly some “bodily fluids” (don’t know how explicit I can get but yes probably what you’re thinking). I told my brother, he IMMEDIATELY called my dad and confronted him. My dad said that it was indeed that, BUT he was in there alone. (Why are you doing that in your son’s room?) then he asked who knew. Brother told him just him, even though him, my step mom and myself knew. Then my dad said not to tell anybody else. This phone call was on the car radio on their weekend trip to her hometown. Completely fooled my brother, and since then if anything like that is talked about my dad in front of my brother, he gets super defensive IMMEDIATELY.

I am having a really hard time today and want to understand how to cope this situation. I knew this was coming but she was quite smug when she called today. I get it they are happy and excited but I just couldn’t reciprocate the way I usually does. I am happy for her however I am too sad for myself. I have been in this journey for 3.5 years now with multiple miscarriages, 4 failed IUIs and 1 failed IVF. Doctors have not been able to point why we cannot concieve, and they keep us in the 6% category of couples that can get pregnant anytime but not yet. Give me a reason to cope because today was the hardest day of my life, and I have never felt so dejected in my life. What did we do wrong to not have this blessing and anyone everyone getting a baby in a whiff of 3-4 months. My tears have not stopped falling down, i wish to be normal excited happy for my friend, but my heart just isn’t allowing me to express anything ❤️‍🩹

I had an 8 week ultrasound on the weekend, but when the Dr reviewed the results he stated I was measuring 6w5d, no heartbeat- & he wants me to do another ultrasound in a week to see if there is a heartbeat, if not we will discuss methods for expulsion. I left the appt numb, cried all the way home & when I told my husband he’s just trying to stay positive. When I reviewed my medical visit notes it was categorized as threatened miscarriage. I’m opting to switch doctors/medical practice after the second ultrasound- I’m just so overwhelmed and stressed. I miscarried once before and then 3 months later I was pregnant & now my son is 2. Has anyone had success stories after a second miscarriage?

I was recently diagnosed with pcos at the age of 37 and after having 3 kids. I did have some struggles getting pregnant (clomid, iuis, ectopics) and was considered to have unexplained infertility but I did get pregnant on my own with my 3rd. I have short cycles (short luteal phase really) but ovulate regularly around the same time. I did have gestational diabetes with my last two. Anyways I’ve suspected insulin resistance and pcos, despite regular cycles, for quite some time and finally found an OB who took it seriously. The only lab that’s out of whack is my dheas. Does anyone else’s pcos look like this where you ovulate regularly? What started this whole journey was I was lifting weights and counting macros and suddenly I was gaining weight. I had a bout of cycts last Aug that finally went away but the weight gain continued. I also started losing my hair last month which I thought was from taking Wellbutrin, which I’m no longer on, but maybe is just from the high dhea. My doctor says this is more adrenal related so I’m trying to figure out what things I can do or take to get the dhea back down. Any ideas? I’m only on 500 metformin and she just started me on ozempic. We want to go for our last baby but I have to drop this weight before doing that. My DHEA was 277 in September when things first started feeling out of whack and was 344 Last week.

I am currently 6 weeks 3 days I have an ultrasound this Friday… super nervous. Had labs today.. I am on progesterone and levothyroxine and metformin.
My TSH came back 4.74 today when 2 weeks ago it was 2.35. I missed 2 doses while moving these last 2 days. Is this normal will it be okay?
My progesterone was 28.3 today and we are monitoring biweekly. Anyone have similar experiences?

Trigger warning (pregnancy loss)
This is my first time posting so I’m a little nervous! Leading up to my current pregnancy I experienced 3 early miscarriages. While each was disappointing, I bounced back quite quickly because they were at similar stages and just before a heartbeat. The third one was the most challenging, because I was pregnant with the same timing as my sister. While she carried to term, I didn’t, and I quietly found it difficult to watch her progress and eventually hold my nephew (he is a SUPER CUTE and ENGAGING baby and I love him so much!). While I didn’t voice any of discomfort with watching my sister’s pregnancy, my family innately stayed respectful and didn’t over share or over focus on her baby when having conversations with me.
When she was pregnant, my sister and her husband decided to keep their name choice private but in a special sister moment with me, she decided to let me in on the secret. I was shocked. Their choice was a variation on the boy name we had chosen. There is no way she could have known, and even if she did, I don’t believe in saving names for babies that haven’t been born. At the time, I remember telling myself, what if i eventually pregnant and have a girl. How special would it be then to still have such a lovely boy name in the family (even though again, it’s a variation of the name, not identical). I must have been quiet when she first told me because a moment later she panicked and thought I didn’t like it. I explained that it was the opposite and that I LOVE it so much it’s actually my first choice and I quickly whiped out my phone and showed her my baby name app where I had it listed as 1st place. She is super sweet and immediately said that the variation is different enough and that I should still use it. My husband and I agree it’s definitely not and we would be really weird using it, resulting in the same nickname and with us being second.
Fortunately a month later, I got pregnant again and I’m significantly further along and past much risk of miscarriage. The pregnancy seems super similar to my daughter, who I carried to term and she’s a healthy preschooler now. We’re just waiting to hear the fetal sex next week and really only want to know in order to pick a name (I would be just as excited for a girl as I would be for a boy and vice versa and I’m really not into “gender” reveal presentations). Part of me has been sort of wishing more for a girl just to be rid of this naming concern.
However, this morning I woke up and found out my cousin delivered a baby girl and used a variation of girl name we’ve been set on, again resulting in the same nickname. We are actually low contact, and there is absolutely no way she could have known. The variation she chose is a family name of her other side of her family and honestly I think it’s perfect for them. It also sounds adorable with her son’s name as a sibling set.
Not much gets me down but I’m feeling disappointed. I’m not upset with either my sister or my cousin, I’m just sad about the timing and circumstance. I regretfully shared this with my mom who is normally very understanding. I was really surprised to hear her frustration with my disappointment. She doesn’t understand why I’m sad, and said to go ahead and use the variation that I like. We live out of state so the kids won’t be around each other much, and since I’m low contact with my cousin, it doesn’t even matter. I still find it too weird to give basically the same name to baby born into a family as small as ours especially in the same year. In the two conversations we had about it, my mom thinks I’m being ridiculous. She said I’ll obviously just come up with something else since eventually all babies get a name. AITAH?

Hi all,
I'm really grateful for this forum - have read your stories and questions daily for the past 2 years and have learned so much from everyone's experiences, so thank you so much. I'm looking for some advice ahead of a check-in appointment tomorrow, as I don't have anyone in my orbit who has been through something similar.
I took out my IUD two years ago, had a chemical pregnancy after 4 months, then six months later (after trying "naturally" for over a year) did six medicated IUIs, which all failed. I then did a round of IVF, ended up with great euploid embryos. Just had my first transfer and it didn't work (my protocol was letrozole and a trigger shot). No diagnosed issues - just "unexplained infertility" - and a regular cycle without the medication, and all bloodwork (including autoimmune, thyroid, and common miscarriage bloodwork) has come back normal. I do have minor psoriasis, but have flagged that and no one seems too worried about it.
I'm starting to feel helpless that I'm always on the "wrong side" of statistics. First with the miscarriage (25% of people have them), then with the six IUIs (I think 85% likely to get pregnant for most people), and now with the "perfect" embryo being transferred.
Is there anything from any of your experiences that comes to mind as far as questions I should ask tomorrow in my appointment? I'm feeling down and want to make sure I'm asking the right things..
thank you so much in advance!

We currently have a wonderful 2.5 year old daughter. She is a little ball of energy and definitely keeps us on our toes. We always thought we wanted two, and started trying for a second when she was about 17 months old. I got pregnant right away, but sadly it ended in a very early loss. I got pregnant again and experienced a second loss at 12 weeks. The second loss was extra devastating because it was a blindside loss after a prior healthy ultrasound with a strong heartbeat. We had found out we were having another girl the week prior, and envisioned little sisters growing up together.
After the losses, I kind of fell into a dark hole of grief. I wasn't as present with my daughter as I should have been, and became obsessed with trying to become pregnant again. I'm 40, so after several months without success, I started fertility treatment. Right after starting the treatments, I experienced a slipped disc and horrible sciatica and have been rehabbing from that injury for the last 3 months. It will probably be several more months of rehab.
Since the injury, we have been on a TTC break and I honestly feel so much happier and at peace. Our daughter is becoming more independent and sleeping better. I'm finding a little bit of time for hobbies and feeling like my old self again. We are comfortable with the place we are in. The idea of restarting fertility treatments, taking pregnancy tests, and just the very real risk of more miscarriages or health issues for me/baby fills me with anxiety. I also think the recent struggles I have had caring for my daughter with my back problems has kind of put things into perspective.
How important is it to have a sibling? Both my husband and I grew up with siblings. My sister and I literally fought every single day, and didn't start getting along until we were both in our mid 30s. My husband and his sister have a strained relationship as adults. It's been nice to have my sister as a support as our parents are starting to age. I don't want our daughter to feel alone when we grow older, but I know that siblings are not a guarantee that you won't feel alone either. I just feel stuck.

Hi All,
I’m sure the sub gets this many times a week but this is from a dad (or supposed to be a dad) perspective. My wife was 7-8 weeks pregnant (1st time)and we were well on our way to a first ultrasound/prenatal Friday (5/17). Things took a turn when she started spotting very lightly for a few days and then heavy bleeding/clots Sunday. The ER ran her thru a plethora of tests and confirmed she has miscarried the pregnancy. She is now in a lot of abdominal pain and worse the emotional trauma for her (and myself). So much tears and talking through it all.
Just wanted to give my perspective as the guy and a few pointers for those going through the same or may be searching for a relatable experience some day: 1) constant communication with her. Check on her, it might annoying asking the “are you okay” but know that she appreciates it. She is as confused as you are. I ended up making the call to take her to the ER as she truly was scared. 2) be her advocate throughout the whole process whether it’s a miscarriage or not. Do your research, it’s a day and age of tons of data available for you at your phone. Make yourself her personal doula and ask providers questions. 3) it will feel lonely. The emotional gauntlet a woman goes through with being pregnant sucks and if you have to be the butt end of a blame or argument, suck it up it won’t last forever. 4) if there is even spotting that lasts longer than a few hours, light or heavy, cramp or no cramp, call the nurse hotline, somebody. Their word of advice always helps. 5) you will feel helpless as I did. It’s so annoying and you wish you could help her but just hug her and love her. 6) be the positive one, be cautious but just keep reinforcing that she’s doing great. It’s no one’s fault. 7) life sucks sometimes but we will try again. Hopefully the next time I post something, it will be of good news!
Much love and understanding for the mamas going thru the same or went thru it already.

If you talked to me a year ago before we started TTC I would have told you that my cycle is regular, my family members have conceived quickly, and everything would probably go smoothly. I was definitely hopeful! Maybe even overly confident?
I started thinking of this because a friend from high school (we no longer hang out but I’d say hi if I ran into her) has been posting to her “close friends” on insta about starting to try to get pregnant. The comments are innocent and flippant like “husband got this sweet ‘dog mom’ card, can’t wait to make babies with this guy” or “don’t worry, not pregnant yet!!”
Reading the posts I’m just like…man, I so wish that I was still in that phase. To just be hopeful and excited to start trying instead of having the months of trying and miscarriage tainting my perspective.
I bet many of us can relate, so just wanted to share. Been over two months since my MMC and just got my period again after our first month back TTC so haven’t been in a great place this week (plus a million “show your first photo with your baby” Mother’s Day stories on Insta as the cherry on top 😖)

My partner and I just did the withdrawal method for almost 7 months until I got pregnant.
FEB 26: My last, first day of period
MID APRIL -I skipped my March period -I didn't worry for the month of March when I didn't get my period because it was common for me to miss my period for a month. -My period is irregular ever since (50+ days cycle) -In a year, I usually have 2 months that I skip my period -I felt paranoid still since April is about to end and I don't have my period yet so, and looked for pregnancy symptoms -I also searched for abortion options here in PH via reddit
APR 26: Urine test twice, both showed solid positive lines -I felt shocked cuz I thought I couldn't easily get pregnant because my period was so irregular -My symptoms were nauseous, loss of appetite, fatigue, hard nipples/painful breasts -Just weird because my weight dropped 1kg
APR 29: My partner and I went to the OB and got an ultrasound -I was 7w4d pregnant -At night, I order my pills via Women on Web (70 euros via credit card)
May 7: The pills arrived in my house. -For my symptoms, I don't feel nauseous anymore. -Still fatigued and always feel sleepy -Started to become constipated (I usually poop every morning), this time I skipped 2 mornings
May 10: Preparation -My parter picked me up in the evening -We bought supplies like pads, tissues/napkins, snacks, etc -checked in to a hotel
May 11: Start of my MA (9w2d) -11AM, took 1 Mife -no cramps, bleeding, or other discomforts -I was super emotional the entire day -Had an on and off feelings if this was really finally happening -I know there is no turning back because once I started taking a pill, the fetus might get deformities if I chose to continue carrying this
May 12: Start of the real deal - Abortion First Dose - 4 Miso -8AM, breakfast (2 eggs, corned beef, rice) -10AM, took 400mg Ibuprofen -11AM, first dose of Miso (4 pcs under my tongue) -Within 30 minutes, the pills fully dissolved -After 1 hr, I felt 5/10 painful cramps, chills, felt tired -After a few more minutes, 10/10 cramps, vomited a lot -Went to the toilet twice, felt like I peed out huge clots -I wasn't able to check the fetus or how big the clots were because it went straight into the toilet -Cramps subsided for a while -Chills came back, cramps started slowly again 10/10 -I don't know if what kind of discomfort is this, but whenever I inhale, I felt like there is something tingling throughout my chest to my limbs (it was not painful, but I knew it was not normal) -Then I vomited, and this weird sensation of my body was gons -Whenever I felt like blood is coming out, I rush to the toilet -Expelled more blood clots, but the previous ones felt bigger than this time -Vomitted again -Then I felt better, had my lunch (veggies, rice, buttered shrimp)
Second Dose - 2 Miso -1PM, took 400mg Ibuprofen -2PM, second dose of Miso (2 pcs under my tongue) -In 25 minutes while the pills were under my tongute, I felt extremely nauseous -I vomited a lot, including the 2 Miso that hadn't fully dissolved -Chills and cramps again 9/10 -Went to the toilet and expelled blood clots again, this time much smaller but a lot -Vomited again even when I just drank water, I vomited liquids -Felt better every after I vomit -I ate bread, crackers, and chocolates after because I was hungry
Third Dose - 2 Miso -4PM, took 400mg Ibuprofen -Within 15 mins ingesting the Ibuprofen, I vomited -I was worried if I just vomited the Ibuprofen -5PM, third dose of Miso (2 pcs under my tongue) -Ate chocolates, drank water and pocari sweat -Cramps 6/10 -Went to the toilet but I only bleed less than the previous ones -It just felt like a normal period -I fell like the painful process is done because I stopped vomiting and no painful cramps anymore -I decided not to take the 4th and 5th dose of Miso -Got the energy to go outside and ate dinner in a restaurant -A few minutes before my last bite, I felt weird in my body(that sensation whenever I inhale), felt nauseous -I told my partner that I couldn't finish my meal, and I want to go home cuz I felt like vomiting -We walked slowly to the car, he drove slowly -While driving back home, I had him stop the car, I vomited outside -Felt hungry going back home after, bought and ate ice cream -I was unsure already here if I should still continue my 4th and 5th dose, because WoW instructions said that mostly 2-3rd dose is okay for my situation -I emailed WoW if I could stop already, but they said, just to be sure just take the 4th and 5th dose
Fourth Dose - 2 Miso -9PM, fourth dose of Miso (2 pcs under my tongue) -I was 1 hr late for this dose (if by schedule, it should be 8pm but I was waiting for the email response of WoW) -I asked if it's okay to take it an hour late, but they didn't reply to this particular question -I just took the 4th pills anyway, I didn't take Ibuprofen anymore -2/10 cramps, super tolerable, not a discomfort -ate more bread and snacks, drank water -little bleeding only, no blood clots -no vomiting -took a nap and just placed an alarm for my 5th dose
Fifth Dose - 2 Miso -12AM, fifth dose of Miso (2 pcs under my tongue) -1/10 cramps -no vomiting -just worn my maternity pads, didn't bleed clots anymore -slept comfortably
May 13: Time to go home -I was happy in the morning because there was no pain anymore -The pain was finally over -But on our drive way back home, I cried -I was still emotional and apologised to my partner that I decided to push through with the abortion -He actually wants to have the baby, but he told me that whatever his decision is, it will still be up to me since this is my body -I am sad to be honest because a part of me wants to have this baby but the circumstance is just not favorable -I know I want to have a baby again in the future and this time I will be more prepared and accepting
Now, while I still absorb this happening, I am worrying if I did all the process right. I wasn't able to check the embryo/sac/fetus in the toilet. I can't tell if my pregnancy symptoms were gone, because a week before I started the MA, my mild symptoms were gone already and I didn't feel pregnant at all.
I just have to wait for 3-4 weeks to have a urine test.
I am planning to get an ultrasound in 2 weeks, but I don't know how to tell the OB. If I said I think I had a miscarriage, I wonder how they would respond and I might get a hot seat or what. Maybe I am just an overthinker.

The "Good Girls Avoid Abortion" trope in media portrays women/girls who face unexpected pregnancies as avoiding abortion due to moral, religious, or societal pressures. This portrayal is typically used to maintain a non-controversial, morally upright image, appeasing moral guardians and avoiding audience polarization. It reflects cultural narratives that prioritize motherhood and traditional values, subtly shaping public perceptions about abortion.

So what happens is that the person will get pregnant, and then there might be a discussion of abortions but they won't actually say the word sometimes and they'll just talk about it in a very vague way but then the story makes it so that the person never has to actually choose an abortion. Either they change their mind and they go through the with the pregnancy, or they want to get the abortion but they can't do two religious or societal reasons, or The experience a plot convenient or miscarriage. Oh thank God we don't have to turn our main character into a teen Mom but also she didn't have to go through with the decision of an abortion which, as we all know, only bad girls get and we don't have a bad girl as our main lead and so therefore she doesn't have the child and our character remains pure and wonderful.
By the way it should be noted that a few instances of the trope being broken does not actually reverse the trope, it just means that there are exceptions.
Now when I say family movies ish, I'm referring to movies that are probably aimed more for a 13 and up age rather than a five and up age. This doesn't mean that they're on g-rated teen pregnancy movies, but I'm thinking more about like older children and stuff like that.
But hey, maybe I'm wrong and maybe there are more teenager plus movies that do have characters having abortions and actually talking about it and using the actual word and things like that.

Brittany math, as usual, means the story constantly changes over time. The more time that passes, the more she exaggerates.

i took a digital pregnancy test 24 hours ago and it turned out positive and stated i was probably 1-2 weeks along. its been 4 weeks since my LMP. i started bleeding about 10 hours ago (so 14 hours after i took the pregnancy test) and its pretty heavy bleeding throughout the day. i took 2 cheap strip tests after (with a 4 hour interval) and they both turned out negative. im pretty sure i did it correctly as the first one, i peed on the stick for 5+ seconds and the second one, i dipped it in a cup of my pee for 20 seconds and my pee was really concentrated. did i just experience a miscarriage in a span of 24 hours?? from what i have read online, chemical pregnancies happen within the first 5 weeks (which im pretty sure i am within) and usually happens a few weeks after a positive pregnancy test but then again i could have been pregnant since weeks ago. its just really strange to me that i only tested positive yesterday and i just so happened to have a miscarriage the next day. has anyone experienced this? i figured it could just be normal bleeding or implantation bleeding as well and i have a drs appointment booked for next week but i just wanted to seek some opinions here first.

I didn't tell my sister that we were trying to convince until we had our first miscarriage. She means well, she's just brings it up all the time is incentive to the fact that she's had children naturally and has never gone through this. She's also giving me advice that I'm not sure is medically correct. She's so blinded by the fact of a niece or a nephew that she doesn't think of anything else. I know I'm just generally sensitive to all of this right now and was gonna write the below to her.
"Hey I need you to cool it on talking about babies that I may not be able to have. Stop assuming I'm hinting something to you by the color of my clothes. Accidentally getting pregnant right now is terrifying to me because it would likely end in a miscarriage. Stop making small comments that I can't have massages which is not even medically true. It's all insensitive and upsetting. I'll tell you when I'm ready to talk about it."
I can't tell if it's too harsh, but I need her to just not ask me about it because it bums me out.