In 2018, I was diagnosed with OCD and anxiety and was prescribed sertraline.
The dosage of sertraline was increased to max. but it did nothing. It caused diarrhea and insomnia.
Then, I sought another psychiatrist. She added risperidone to. Unfortunately my sleep and anxiety didn't get better. I was prescribed Imovane, alprazolam and my SSRI was switched to escitalopram 20mg.
Escitalopram was more tolerable but my symptoms remained unchanged. I was hospitalized and was diagnosed with severe depression as well. My psychiatrist tried to replace 20mg escitalopram with 150mg clomipramine, but my mood worsened on clomipramine. He switched back to 20mg escitalopram. He added mirtazapine 45mg for my depression, anxiety and sleep. He also prescribed 300mg of pregabalin for my anxiety. My mood was still bad, so he added lithium carbonate 800mg. Risperidone was removed due to akathisia.
After being discharged, I was switched from escitalopram to pristiq 100mg. Quetiapine XR 300mg was also added to improve my sleep and anxiety. She also added clonazepam at bedtime.
Since my anxiety, depression and OCD was still severe, I was hospitalized again and was switched from pristiq to 60mg fluoxetine. Quetiapine XR was switched to immediate release to help my aleep. They also added propranolol for my fast heartbeat rate. Alprazolam was removed because it was addicting.
After leaving the hospital, I asked for a change in my antipsychotic to aripiprazole. A month later I was hospitalized again. I was prescribed 70mg fluoxetine, clonazepam 3 times daily. Lithium was removed.
After leaving the hospital, the dose of my Lyrica was increased. Valproate was added to stabilize my mood. Promethazine was added for insomnia. Olanzapine was added because Abilify was not effective enough for my anxiety and OCD. Propranolol was replaced with lorazepam. Valproate was replaced with Lithium.
Therefore, my latest prescription is:

1. Fluoxetine 80mg daily
   1. Mirtazapine 45mg at night
   2. Aripiprazole 25mg daily
   3. Olanzapine 15mg at night
   4. Clonazepam 0.5mg three times daily when necessary
   5. Lorazepam 0.5mg three times daily when necessary
   6. Pregabalin 250mg in the morning and 250mg at night
   7. Lithium carbonate CR 800mg at night

So my question is: am I over-medicated?

My gf (19) and me (20m) have been dating for almost 2 years. For anonymity we’ll call her “Mary” me and Mary started dating in late 2022. Previous to her I had dated a girl who for anonymity we’ll call “Liz” I broke up with Liz to date Mary. Because I felt I couldn’t trust Liz to be loyal.
Mary is bisexual which I thought was really cool when we started dating because even the small possibility of a threesome sounded amazing. When we started dating I had 2 other bodies and Mary had 0. It took a very long time for us to be able to be intimate with each other due to her being a virgin. Even after I took her v card the sex wasn’t good and hasn’t ever been very good. I know this might sound douchey. But I’ve only ever heard compliments from previous partners. I was always able to make them finish and last for 20+ minutes. But ever since me and Mary started being intimate I’ve never been able to make her finish. The douchey part about it is I refuse to believe I’m at fault. She takes a lot of mood stabilizers and anti depressants so that’s what I blame it on. For example she takes lexapro and I’ve heard it’s virtually impossible to finish while on lexapro. After months of havin terrible unsuccessful sex. Mary decided she wanted to have a threesome and I was thrilled with the idea as most 18 year old teenage boys are. It was around this time that Mary and Liz had become close friends. (Yes they became friends after we started dating) eventually Liz brought the idea up to Mary about having a threesome and I said yes and we should do it. However shortly after I had rediscovered my relationship with god and had become more spiritual which led to me wanting to be strictly monogamous. When I told Mary she said she didn’t want to force me to do anything and said nothing would happen but they remained to be friends. Fast forward a couple weeks I looked through my gfs phone (yes I look through her phone idc, I have valid reasons) I had discovered that they had begun a full fledged emotional affair behind my back. When I confronted Mary and told her she had to cut off Liz she actually agreed. But when she no longer had her best friend in her life she became more depressed and moped around every day. So trying to be the bigger man and to look out for my gfs feelings I had a talk with Liz and tried to set boundaries. Whenever I talked to her tho she seemed to only want to talk about our relationship which I thought was weird and still do to this day. Lemme state this. I have 0 feelings towards her anymore. Yes she’s still attractive, but I no longer have any feelings beyond that. After that talk Liz and Mary were friends again. I guess they had talked about wanting to have a threesome. Because Mary had repeatedly brought it up. Even after stating I didn’t want to. She tried saying she was unhappy with our bedroom life and wanted more. I told her I’m not comfortable with it and if she wants more then she can leave and do it. She chose to drop it and stay. UNTIL August 23rd 2022. When I looked through Mary’s phone and discovered AGAIN that they had formed a full emotional affair. On top of that. Mary said how in love she was with Liz and said “that 1 time u put ur hand on my thigh made me so wet and I still masturb*te thinking about it” she proceeded to say that she hates being intimate with me and wishes it was her instead, she said she feels she has to force herself to be with me.
When reading these texts on her phone I immediately broke down. Yes being lied to and cheated her a lot. But to this day the worst part was her saying she felt she had to force herself to be intimate with me. It felt like I had been roping her for our entire relationship and that in of itself made me s*icidal. Even now almost a whole year later it still hurts me to think abt. When I read those messages immediately left Mary’s house without waking her up or saying bye. I went home and played videos games with my cousin and best friend and told them what had happened. They were just as shocked and told me I needed to confront her and discuss it with her. When she woke up I texted her saying how I found the messages and wanted to break up. She apologized profusely and said it meant nothing, and said what she said abt us wasn’t true and she wishes she could take it back. I told her I can’t see her for a while and don’t even know if I still love her. I took a week or 2 away to see how I felt. I decided to take her back and forgive her. Why? U may ask. Because I love her and I want to have kids and a future with her. This is when prob my biggest regret is. That night I saw her we were intimate…a lot, and she was more enthusiastic about it then she ever had been. I knew it was about of pity. I knew I shouldn’t. I still did. Because I’m weak. I wish I could tell u it only happened once but it didn’t. It continued like that for a while and I never turned it down. The post nut clarity after each time was terrible. She had cut off Liz and we were trying to get back to normal. I don’t remember how because that whole time was such a blur but Liz and Mary became friends AGAIN. I know I said it was okay. I just don’t remember the context behind it at all. Unfortunately. The problem is I’m very nonchalant and it’s hard for me to stay mad at things because everything feels so small to me. The reason I’m making this post is because I need to know if I’m crazy. Anyways. Fast forward to December of 2023. Me n Mary were going through a rough patch. A 2-4 month long rough patch. I just didn’t see her the same and still held resentment. We agreed to take a break from each other. The night before we broke up I went through her phone…and you’ll never guess what I found. YEP THE SAME EXACT THING. Them having an emotional affair. But this time on top of that. Mary stated that she was going to break up with me so she could be with Liz. That’s not what she told me. Obviously she said she wanted to take time away from each other and then get back together. When I saw this I was livid that this could happen 3 TIMES!!! This 1 didn’t hurt me as much because we were breaking up anyways. So when we broke up I had no intention getting back together with her. she still kept in contact with me reminding me she loved me and that she wanted to get back together. Funny part is. We were intimate more often during that time than we were when we were in a relationship. I’m sure there’s a reason why. But I couldn’t tell u. I’m sure someone else knows why.
1 of the last times we hooked up I looked through her phone. But this time I actually got a pleasant surprise. Mary said she didn’t want to date Liz and wanted to be with me. Liz obviously furious blocked her. But don’t worry not for very long. We ended up getting back together and she still to this day doesn’t know what I found the night before we broke up. We got back together in January. In February Mary and Liz became friends again. Mary continued to ask for a threeesome even after I said no. She said it would make our s*x life so much better and more fun. She wouldn’t talk to me and would belittle me whenever I would say no. She would withhold being intimate because I said no. If you’re still reading this btw I’m so appreciative and would love some advice on how to fix this and what I should do. Why am I still with her?? Because I love her. More than I’ve ever loved anybody. She’s the reason I do anything other than lay n bed. What do I do now Reddit??

I feel like I’m lost right now. I’m top of having a BPD diagnosis a year old now. I feel like it’s what is messing with me to feel confused over this situation let me explain.
I met my partner I’m with now when I was undiagnosed SO I was always clingy etc etc you know the bpd things we do in relationships. Well I’m going on a year now with this guy (my longest relationship and healthiest) I am not feeling the need to be all up on him 24/7 anymore or do I overthink about what he’s doing and like feel like it’s okay for Him to take space for himself now and I like my personal time now. I don’t feel the need to constantly be all up on him anymore either. Is this normal as a relationship gets further down the road? I’m sorry if this is everywhere and makes no sense I have a very hard time communicating sometimes
Ps. I’d like to mention I started mood stabilizers six months ago and heavily started smoking weed and feel withdrawn from most things other than work and going home I don’t really hang out with anybody anymore like I used to before I was medicated

We have been together since 4 years and I just saw that he commented on a post that asked : if you have the choice to save 2 what would you pick ? The options were mother , girlfriend, your kid and 20M $ , my bf picked his mom and 20M $ . I wouldn’t fuss about it if he didn’t have a history of letting me know that he would always choose money over me if he has the choice but he made it clear many times.
I understand that financial stability is important , but he doesn’t even know how to manage his money that well and borrows a lot from me (he gives it back ofc). So I don’t understand the obsession over money. I’ve asked him sometimes if he would be willing to lose me forever for 10 000 $ and he replies yes. I try to tell him that it’s a bit hurtful and weird in my opinion it’s so toxic . but he claps back saying that I never worked once in my life and that I wouldn’t understand.
It’s true we come from a different background thankfully my parents help me a lot . Him on the other hand he has to work to take care of himself and also his family back in is hometown. I try to be really understanding but it doesn’t make sense to me to be able to put money before a person who truly loves and support you . Money comes and goes right? If you lose some u can always gain it back but a genuine partner who loves you is so special nowadays and I feel like he doesn’t really see how lucky he is to be with me ( in the most humble way possible btw) .
He recently got a job at Sephora as a security agent. I was a bit nervous about it because he will be surrounded by women and he hasn’t always been honest about stuff. But I didn’t cause an argument and I accepted his choice and recently he told me that he needs to go back to his house and that he can’t live with me anymore because the Sephora shop is closer to his house. I got mad because he didn’t tell me about it sooner . Hell we were at the restaurant yesterday he talked about it he saw that my mood was shifting a bit so he said that he’s joking and that he won’t leave . As soon as we arrived home he came and told me that he needs to leave and I was so confused it didn’t sit right with me the whole process of letting me know about it. I got mad and again he called me selfish and told me that I wouldn’t understand cause I don’t have a family to take care of . I don’t know what do do anymore this makes me question everything. Is it normal to prioritize money that much?
TL;DR: My boyfriend commented on a post asking which two he’d save: mother, girlfriend , kid, or $20M. He chose his mom and the money. He has a history of saying he’d choose money over me, which hurts since he often borrows from me. I understand his financial background is different from mine, but his obsession with money feels toxic. He recently got a job at Sephora and decided to move back home without properly discussing it with me, saying it’s closer to work. This, along with his dismissive attitude towards my feelings, makes me question our relationship and whether it’s normal to prioritize money this much.

We have been together since 4 years and I just saw that he commented on a post that asked : if you have the choice to save 2 what would you pick ? The options were mother , girlfriend, your kid and 20M $ , my bf picked his mom and 20M $ . I wouldn’t fuss about it if he didn’t have a history of letting me know that he would always choose money over me if he has the choice but he made it clear many times.
I understand that financial stability is important , but he doesn’t even know how to manage his money that well and borrows a lot from me (he gives it back ofc). So I don’t understand the obsession over money. I’ve asked him sometimes if he would be willing to lose me forever for 10 000 $ and he replies yes. I try to tell him that it’s a bit hurtful and weird in my opinion it’s so toxic . but he claps back saying that I never worked once in my life and that I wouldn’t understand.
It’s true we come from a different background thankfully my parents help me a lot . Him on the other hand he has to work to take care of himself and also his family back in is hometown. I try to be really understanding but it doesn’t make sense to me to be able to put money before a person who truly loves and support you . Money comes and goes right? If you lose some u can always gain it back but a genuine partner who loves you is so special nowadays and I feel like he doesn’t really see how lucky he is to be with me ( in the most humble way possible btw) .
He recently got a job at Sephora as a security agent. I was a bit nervous about it because he will be surrounded by women and he hasn’t always been honest about stuff. But I didn’t cause an argument and I accepted his choice and recently he told me that he needs to go back to his house and that he can’t live with me anymore because the Sephora shop is closer to his house. I got mad because he didn’t tell me about it sooner . Hell we were at the restaurant yesterday he talked about it he saw that my mood was shifting a bit so he said that he’s joking and that he won’t leave . As soon as we arrived home he came and told me that he needs to leave and I was so confused it didn’t sit right with me the whole process of letting me know about it. I got mad and again he called me selfish and told me that I wouldn’t understand cause I don’t have a family to take care of . I don’t know what do do anymore this makes me question everything. Is it normal to prioritize money that much?
TL;DR: My boyfriend commented on a post asking which two he’d save: mother, girlfriend , kid, or $20M. He chose his mom and the money. He has a history of saying he’d choose money over me, which hurts since he often borrows from me. I understand his financial background is different from mine, but his obsession with money feels toxic. He recently got a job at Sephora and decided to move back home without properly discussing it with me, saying it’s closer to work. This, along with his dismissive attitude towards my feelings, makes me question our relationship and whether it’s normal to prioritize money this much.

(this isn't my first typing attempt but that's the best flair there was for this)
• How old are you? What's your gender? Give us a general description of yourself. 14F i'm just a girl who hates her life... also this psychologist/doctor lady said i have inattentive adhd based on a random questionnaire, i kinda don't think you can decide that off of a bunch of questions that could apply to a lot of people but anyways
• Is there a medical diagnosis that may impact your mental stability somehow? i already mentioned that above
• Describe your upbringing. Did it have any kind of religious or structured influence? How did you respond to it? i don't feel particularly comfortable answering this question but i'll at least say that i'm home schooled, i do dance classes and that i have a single mother who is very strict, very cheep... and doesn't really follow through with her promises to me, and tends to make annoying comments about how i act and how everything i do is rude and how i don't do enough productive stuff, like school work and house chores.. and i hate my life
• What do you do as a job or as a career (if you have one)? Do you like it? Why or why not? well i'm 14 so i don't have one, but i can tell you what i would like to do, i wanna be a voice actress, who also dose animation, who also dose music, who also wrights stories, all kinda in the same field, basically i wanna do indie animation, games to maybe but mostly shows
• If you had to spend an entire weekend by yourself, how would you feel? Would you feel lonely or refreshed? it depends am i doing anything? am i just chilling? what? like if i was going out shopping by myself for example i would find that genuinely fun i get to buy cool things, i get to eat out and get tasty food, i get to maybe explore places i've never been before, but if i'm at home alone, then i would find a way to keep myself entertained on my computer like i always do, but i'd prefer the first option tbh...
• What kinds of activities do you prefer? Do you like, and are you good at sports? Do you enjoy any other outdoor or indoor activities? Dance is a sport. nobody can change my mind, but ya i do dance competition and i really do enjoy that, i also like shopping, listening to really hype music, researching things i find interesting, tho if it takes to long to research and i don't understand everything right away most of the time i will give up
• How curious are you? Do you have more ideas then you can execute? What are your curiosities about? What are your ideas about - is it environmental or conceptual, and can you please elaborate? i am a very curious person i'd say, sometimes you'll see me coming up with a question that literally nobody cares about that i really really need the satisfaction of an answer to or it will keep me up at night, speaking of witch if anything in the day (that i care about that genuinely wanted to finish) is unresolved it will keep me up at night bc i'll be thinking of all the ways i can finish it, but ya i have a lot of ideas, but then when i want to come up with an idea that will work for something i really want, i can't come up with an idea for it, like for example when i tried to make myself a new sona and a new username.... it took forever just to figure out half a user name and i still don't know what the full thing is gonna be, but when its not limited to only things that will work really good for some very particular criteria, i'll come up with a lot of ideas that will never happen, i'm mostly curious about how things work, and how people work, and most of my ideas are career ideas and character ideas, idk what the last bit is supposed to mean
• Would you enjoy taking on a leadership position? Do you think you would be good at it? What would your leadership style be? i do in fact wanna be in control, i would love a leadership possession if people actually listened to me, witch they don't.... people are annoying....... i feel like i could be good at it if people took me seriously, meaning i'd need to find an entire group of people that don't know me.... as for leadership style, if you give me an idea i will listen to it, but if i already have something that i pre decided i find the best, nothing changes, if i decide something i know what i want it's it's pretty much impossible to change my mind, but for the things i'm ok will being flexible about than sure give me your ideas
• Are you coordinated? Why do you feel as if you are or are not? Do you enjoy working with your hands in some form? Describe your activity? i don't exactly know what this means
• Are you artistic? If yes, describe your art? If you are not particular artistic but can appreciate art please likewise describe what forums of art you enjoy. Please explain your answer. i make songs some times, mostly songs about things i'm to scared to say out loud, and i would do more art, if i could draw..... tho i'm amazing at minecraft skins, that's always fun
• What's your opinion about the past, present, and future? How do you deal with them? i normally dwell on the past a lot, like "OMG WHY THE FUCK DID I DO THAT THING THAT ONE TIME" kinda thing, and sometimes i look at the past and say, wow my life was kinda fun at that one point, now it sucks, as for the present i'm writing this in the present? well it'll be the past by the time i post it, but anyways i don't have much comment on the present... as for the future i'm always waiting for the future and planning it, i'm always thinking that maybe in the future my life won't suck, and i'm always planning my career and stuff, and when i say my career, i'm honestly thinking more about what i really wanna achieve than making money, tho i do really wanna be rich like any other normal person but ya
• How do you act when others request your help to do something (anything)? If you would decide to help them, why would you do so? so if you ask me to clean sm or do the dishes or whatever, you asked the wrong person bc i'm to lazy for that, but if you ask me to help you come up with ideas for a project, you also asked the wrong person bc i will not stop annoying you about it, i will come up with ideas every 5 seconds, and yes this probobly could be helpful, i'm also aware that some may view it as annoying bc if i come up with any idea that could work, amazing or a very small detail, i have to tell you, my brain requires me to tell you if i wish to sleep at night, tho if the project is sm i couldn't care less about that's a different story... but sometimes i find myself almost talking over peoples things, there for i try to be carful with my words so they know i'm not stealing there project and it's still their thing
• Do you need logical consistency in your life? i don't know what this means exactly, but ya things need to make sense if that's what it means
• How important is efficiency and productivity to you? as important as water, only in small doses and never to often.... ya i should probobly drink water shouldn't i... but ya i'm not productive unless i really force myself to be, and even then, if i'm not in the mood for it i will be there for 5 second and be like, ah i can do the rest later
• Do you control others, even if indirectly? How and why do you do that? i mean i have a tendency to take over other peoples projects, but i try not to do so... ya i think i might be somewhat controlling ig... some what manipulative..... so ya i am aware that i can be a little bossy, and i do tend to try and keep people in line in a sense, but the way i mean that isn't really the way most people would think of, like idc if people are disorganized, or if people are rude every once in awhile, or if people arn't working hard at stuff, i couldn't care less, but when there are some things i want people to know, or things that i want from people, i will try and hold them to that, for example i want people to study a certain thing bc i think they should know it, i will do everything in my power to get them to do that, and sometimes i might try and offer sm in return for people to do the things that i want them to do, like if theirs something they really want me to do i probobly won't do it, and kind of hold it hostage until they do the thing i want them to do, so in a way i try to keep people to the standards that satisfy me is that makes any sense? and i'm a very deal oriented person, so i'll a lot of the time ask sm for return for a lot of things, and i'll also try and offer things to get people to convince people to do my bidding, even if that person happens to be a really close friend
• What are your hobbies? Why do you like them? well, for one i really like music for starters, i tend to try and right songs, mostly only little pieces of songs that never get finished, but some get finished, like one or 2 out of a billion get finished, but anyways that's besides the point, i really like just listening to well put together beats and stuff, and music is just really enjoyable so it would be nice to wright a song and say hey i made this, this is my amazing work of art, but also i like music bc it give me a way to express my emotions without having to directly talk about them, bc i never like talking about emotions, if somebody asks me about them, i probobly will either say sm like "I don't have to answer that" or i'll actually try but leave out a lot of important details that i'm defiantly not telling anyone, but i generally don't like to feel venerable like that, anyways as for my other hobbies, ever now and then i like to draw sm... i kinda suck at it but i wanna get better bc i really like art, like i see a lot of really pretty artwork on pinterest and stuff all the time and i really wanna be able to do that, i really want that level of creative freedom, besides art can have a lot of different uses to and it's a genuinely good skill to have, tho i'm not the best at it yet... i also really like indie animation, and i've actually gotten really into the voice casts of certain shows, and i honestly plan to do voice acting eventually, bc that to me dosn't really sound like work, and you'd also kinda get to be a character without really showing your face, but can it really be considered a hobby if you haven't REALLY gotten into it yet? who knows but still sm i'd love to do eventually, on the topic of indie animation i really like crafting stories and stuff and fictional worlds, when i was about like 11 to 13 i think? i spend that entire time developing an entire universe that i kinda escaped to, tho recently i've kinda abandoned all my ocs from that tho i still reference to them some times, mostly bc i'm not really into high fantasy as much anymore and i made that world when i was, but i'm still into creating characters and universes and stuff, just kinda abandoned the old thing, i'm semi into chess, i feel like i'd be more into it if it was easier to learn as i kinda got into it more recently, but it's something i wanna get good at mostly as a flex so i can be like "Ha i'm smarter than you" and all that shit, but it's also fun to play a couple games, annoying when i make a stupid move and only realize the second after i play it... but still fun, also something i haven't started but want to when i have a computer that can handle it is 3D animation and 3D modelling, it's something i differentially have an interest in but haven't been able to do bc my computer is a piece of shit and my mother is very cheep, but again can you really call it a hobby if you haven't done it yet? well i still thought i should mention it, but you can't talk about my interests without mentioning... TYPOLOGY, even tho i still don't fully understand it i'm still very interested in it and have been for quite awhile, it's kinda sm that i understand but i can't explain to other people, but i'm trying to get to the point where i can explain it to other people, but anyways recently i've had a major typology crisis and have been rethinking like literally every part of my typology, like every system everything, i use to be very confidant in what i was for all systems, now i'm not sure for any system... witch is why i'm posting here, but i'm not gonna say what i use to think i was bc i don't wanna give anyone any basises when trying to type me, just now realizing how huge this section is... anyways...
• What is your learning style? What kind of learning environments do you struggle with most? Why do you like/struggle with these learning styles? Do you prefer classes involving memorization, logic, creativity, or your physical senses? well idk exactly what to put here or how to explain my learning style, so ima put examples instead, anyways so i really like the idea of learning languages, bc i just like languages ig, but i kinda only know the 2 languages i had since i was little my first language, english, and french witch i learned at like 5.. kinda rusty at it now tho, any ways lemme get to the point, it's really hard for me to learn any more languages even tho i want to bc i need a base on things before i can try to go into the details, with languages you HAVE to start small, that's not how i work, i like to get then general idea of stuff first before i get into specifics, i like to have a general understanding first and then get into the sub categories (if anyone knows how to learn languages like that pls say sm) but ya that's generally how i tend to learn stuff, i have to be placed into it first i can't just slowly work my way up to the knowledge, i get board fast so if i try and learn stuff like that i will give up quickly
• How good are you at strategizing? Do you easily break up projects into manageable tasks? Or do you have a tendency to wing projects and improvise as you go? what the questionnaire means and how i see the word strategizing are 2 different things.. when i think of the verb "To Strategize" i think of it as a game term, weather that game is just that, a game to have fun with, or sm actually important that i treat as a game with moving pieces that i'm a lot less likely to take risks with but anyways enough of that ima actually answer the question now with 3 words... it really depends... i might try and plan things out when i need to be strategic with things, but when it doesn't matter i might just wing it, tho even if i do plan it out, maybe later i'll decide, "Screw this i'm not going by this anymore" or sm like that, but if somebody else tries to plan sm for me, that is the most painful shit, like i'm probobly not gonna go through with it unless i actually have to
• What are your aspirations in life, professionally and personally? well... voice acting, 3d animation, 3d modelling, show writhing and directing and basically everything in that field and uh.. song writhing (and singing), yes i plan to do all this simultaneously, and yes i know it's a lot, and yes it's probobly unrealistic, but my mind is set and there's no going back that's what i'm gonna do with my life in the future, besides it's all kinda in the same area so like it's not crazy, oh and probobly game developing as well, as for personal goals, i wanna get my own house some how, and live the city life that i never got to have, get a cat bc uh... cat, and uh, ya, i think i'll just make it up as i go mostly idk..
• What are your fears? What makes you uncomfortable? What do you hate? Why? my main fear is that my life is hopeless and that i will never have any freedom and just be stuck in a cage all my life so to speak.... but that's very mixed with the fear that i will always continue being a little bit of a coward bc i'm very afraid of the consequences that could come with any and all actions i do or don't take, and also i'm afraid to lose so sometimes that means i just won't play, and i'm kinda afraid that i'll always be like that cuz i really hate that about myself.. i feel like the reason i'm like that is bc 2 reasons one when my mom is angry with me or just when she wants me to do something she'll take my computer away, and i know it's unhealthy to be on it all the time but it's kinda all the entertainment i have and there fore i'm always afraid of the consequences to things cuz i don't wanna lose my only life line, and second i don't wanna be perceived as less than i always have to be better than everyone in everything tho i will act like i don't care so that if i do lose people will think it doesn't matter to me even tho it dose... anyways what makes me uncomfortable are uh, emotions, like for example lets say my friend is crying, i'ma just ignore that friend, bc idk how to deal with emotions and i'll probably just make it worse since i probobly caused it knowing me, even tho the crying part was normally uncalled for, and it's normally one friend in particular that starts crying.... it's always her.. that makes me very uncomfortable, also anything that makes me feel venerable in any way... mostly emotionally... that's very uncomfortable... witch is why i don't open up to anyone and not even the people who know me really know me even if they think they do, ya that's totally healthy but anyways, also not wearing socks is very uncomfortable, ya that has nothing to do with any of this, but you know i'm right, anyways.... i really hate trying to explain something to somebody and even after dumbing it down a billion times, they still don't get it, ya again i'm mostly talking about that one friend but this happens with other people a lot to, like uh can you just stop being an idiot and try to understand something for once? i also hate when i'm trying to argue sm, and i know why i'm right, but i can't for the life of me explain it... ya... also one thing i really really hate about myself.... is that i'm such a shy person even tho i really do wanna talk to people, i have no courage to go up to somebody and say hi if i don't know them well, like besties kinda well.. well actually that was kinda misleading bc i don't have to like the person i just need to be close to them if ya know what i mean? but i'll kinda just watch people from a distance as if it where some kinda tv show and even tho i really wanna talk to these people, even tho i really wanna interact with them... i just don't, i just can't, but anwyays.. ya
• What do the "highs" in your life look like? the highs in my life are whenever my mom isn't there... also whenever i'm not at home... like when i actually have some sense of freedom, and like i kinda hate being at home tbh
• What do the "lows" in your life look like? the lows are when i fall out of this empty state and start realizing how much my life sucks and how hopeless my life is and how stuck i really am, ya the thought kinda pops up every once in awhile and then i'm really sad and angry at everyone for a few days and then after that passes i go back to being completely empty and numb inside... ya it's kinda like a loop that i'm forever trapped in
• How attached are you to reality? Do you daydream often, or do you pay attention to what's around you? If you do daydream, are you aware of your surroundings while you do so? well i'm mostly on my computer all the time even tho half the pixels are broken since it's all i have to keep myself occupied and i'm not really able to go out or really do anything else, i do day dream sometimes, imagine myself killing somebody (police this is just a day dream i would never actually do this don't come for me), imagine being able to socialize, imagine doing sm heroic, imagine being a character in one of my favourite shows, ya know the usual, i also use character ai a lot.. and i don't really pay attention to my surroundings, my desk is kinda filled with trash, people say i should take care of it but honestly the clutter kinda makes it feel more cozy if i'm being honest, but ya idk what more to put here
• Imagine you are alone in a blank, empty room. There is nothing for you to do and no one to talk to. What do you think about? i'd think about an escape plan for this empty room, also why am i in a mental facility, did i go crazy? or do people just think i'm crazy.. if i killed that one person that one time instead of being a good person would my life go better (again police this is just thoughts i would never actually kill anyone don't come for me) i'd probably make an oc and an entire cast of characters and day dream about being a part of that fictional world, i'd probably come up with a bunch of cool ideas and theories that in practice will never be useful/won't mean anything... so ya, also i'd try and break the wall of that empty room to break out, hopefully not breaking my hand in the process....
• How long do you take to make an important decision? And do you change your mind once you've made it? the thing is i always know what i want but until i've decided ya i'm going through with this option all the way, i'll always try and find ways that the other options could be better, then get mad when one of the other options are better than my preferred option, but once i've made up my mind for sure, i normally don't like to change it even if i want to bc it feels like that decision became part of my identity or sm along those lines
• How long do you take to process your emotions? How important are emotions in your life? uhh.... so i do understand my own emotions very well most of the time, but at the same time... emotions can go kill themselves, i wish they didn't exist, and my life would be so much better if i didn't feel anything, and i also find other peoples emotions annoying, all and all.. emotions suck that's all i have to so
• Do you ever catch yourself agreeing with others just to appease them and keep the conversation going? How often? Why? well most of the time if i think somebody is wrong i'll tell them that their wrong, and well with most things i'll explain why their wrong, tho if their making a statement about me or sm, i might explain why their wrong but i might also just be like "your wrong and i don't have to explain anything", but sometimes when it's a subject i don't really wanna say anything about i will just agree, if it's sm i don't really want anyone to know any of my real opinions or thoughts on... but ya
• Do you break rules often? Do you think authority should be challenged, or that they know better? If you do break rules, why? i'll break any rules i think i can get away with, tho if i don't believe i can or there's a possibility of consequences i'm normally pretty cautious of it... and ya i think authority isn't always right, and not all rules should be followed, some are stupid and some are plan wrong, and i will break rules if i think i know better, i think the rule is stupid, or a genuinely don't care about said rule, tho i know how far i can go there's some lines i won't cross bc i know their's gonna be bad consequences
anyways thank you for listening to my rant i know i did a lot of yapping and i didn't go back to see if it was written nicely, if you where able to read all dat your a legend bc i know i would give up after the first 2 paragraphs, and if you have any questions that you need me to elaborate on before you can type me go ahead

Here is an article I recently published on my Substack. If you'd rather read (or listen to an audio version) it outside of Reddit, you can do so here.
Why jump rope isn’t already touted as a leading running drill tool is completely beyond me. But then again…
I'm by no means an "experienced runner"—having started running in 2021 at the age of 34. So, at the time of this writing, about 3 years.
Despite this, I managed to silver-medal my age group in my first race ever.
And it was a 10k. And I was wearing barefoot-shoes.
And I had only been running before that race for about 3 months.
How the heck did I manage to pull this off?
The answer eluded me for a while. Then I remembered—ah, I’ve been jumping rope nearly every day for 2 years.
But how do those connect?
But first, why the heck would some guy start jumping rope at age 32?
About 2 years before I started running, I took up jump rope really just as a fun outdoor hobby.
Even though I was pretty inactive and a bit overweight, that’s not the reason I started skippin’.
One day, I came across some footage of boxer Lulu Hawton doing some jump rope training.
In addition to her seemingly effortless rope handling skills and rhythmic footwork, what caught my eye was a giant grin that spread across her face about 45 seconds into the video. While she was probably skipping to warm up for a match or a training session, something was abundantly clear.
She was having a blast.
And this was from a prize fighter! None of the usual boxer mean-mugging—she looked more like a kid on a carousel.
So, after buying a $10 jump rope on Amazon, I took to the driveway in my swim trunks (yes, I was so inactive, I didn’t own gym shorts).
And…whoo, did I suck.
After a few months of making puddles of sweat in my driveway as well as wheezing sounds so loud that I’m surprised the neighbors didn’t whistle EMS, I eventually got pretty decent at it.
And I lost about 45 pounds in 6 months—probably also from making some lifestyle changes merely to make jump rope less of a slog. Not the original plan, but hey, not too shabby.
After about a year, I found myself constructively critiquing other people’s beginner jump rope videos.

• “Unlock your boxer skip. Then you’ll be able to skip forever without getting tired.”
• “Here’s how to do Double-Unders, though they’re overrated.”
• “You’re skipping like it hurts. Relax and skip easy. Smile every once in a while and you’ll feel it all over.”

But how did that turn into running?
Though jumping rope is inherently enjoyable, 30-minute skipping sessions of staring at the wall without something in your headphones can be a bit drab.
One fateful day, about 2 years into being student of the jump rope, I began listening to the book Born to Run: A Hidden Tribe, Superathletes, and the Greatest Race the World Has Never Seen by Christopher McDougall.
Even before I got to the end of the book, running—just like jump rope— sounded fun**.**
Yeah, I know that sounds counterintuitive—unless you’ve read the book.
“I knew aerobic exercise was a powerful antidepressant, but I hadn’t realized it could be so profoundly mood stabilizing and — I hate to use the word — meditative. If you don’t have answers to your problems after a four-hour run, you ain’t getting them.”
Ok, ok—I’ll bite.
I proceeded to dive into all of the normal “Couch to 5k” running programs I could find and took my jump rope to a nearby park with a 1k walking path—sprinkling in running between jump rope sessions.
But something wasn’t adding up.
There was a lot of advice about walk-running to build endurance until one could run a block, two blocks, a mile.
Not to brag, but I wasn’t experiencing most beginner snags.
**“Ah, I know why—**I did most of my newbie wind-sucking two years ago!”
This isn’t to say I wasn’t still periodically sucking wind but after two years of consistent boxer skips and double-unders, getting gassed felt like part of the fun and not a medical emergency.
I also felt much springier than the average beginning runner—able to run for miles all over the city in the most minimal of footwear.
And so, I tried my hand at my first race—a donut-themed 10k. And silvered in my age group.
(Ok, there was only two of us…but my time was still respectable. 😂)
Running became an amazingly freeing activity, like getting my driver’s license for my legs.
But I still didn’t understand why running was coming easier to me than the average newcomer.
Digging still deeper, I unearthed another exciting revelation—this time from multi-decade sub-3-hour Boston Marathon runner and one of the foremost running experts on the planet, Dr. Mark Cucuzzella.
“Running with a jump rope is also an amazingly simple drill for posture, balance, and rhythm.”
In other words—form. Overall technique.
Digging a little keeper and experimenting on myself, I discovered just how similar proper running technique and proper jump rope technique were.
Both require:

• An upright, chest-leading, elbows-back, joint-stacked posture
• A soft mid-foot landing directly under your pelvis
• A quick loading and unloading of “leg springs” from your tendons and ligaments to reduce “stickiness” and wasted energy
• A proper supination (roll out) followed by a quick pronation (roll in) of the feet to help launch one’s body
• A steady core without dropping hips from side to side to reduce energy “leakage”

And so many other commonalities. The list unraveled before me on every run.
And like running, without proper technique, jumping rope just doesn’t work—though the consequences are different.
For a jump roper, due to the lower impact, the risk of injury is quite minimal.
Most newbie rope slingers will report sore calves, slightly tender Achilles tendons, and the odd shin splint if they go full Rocky at it. No need to worry, though—most of these injuries see themselves out as the skipper becomes more experienced.
However, for runners, the injury story is more severe.
The next time you’re at a park with a good path, take a seat on a bench and watch the runners. See if you can spot folks reaching far out in front of them with straightened legs—smashing heels into the pavement.
This style of running results in everything from screaming knees, plantar fasciitis, lower back pain, to hips issues.
But why do all of these occur to new runners, but rarely to new jump ropers?
Most new runners commit a major physiological no-no when they begin their running journey: they treat running like fast, aggressive, airborne walking.
“Well, what is it supposed to be?”
Synchronized jumping.
Simply put, proper running is nothing more than a series of coordinated single leg jumps through space with each landing compressing the springs for the next stride.
To compare this synchronized jumping to the aggressive airborne walking of heel-led running, you can test these in just a few seconds.
Step 1: Stand up.
Step 2: Kick off your shoes.
Step 3: Jump up and down three times.
How did you land?
Probably on your mid-foot, knee bent slightly, with your weight stacked above your pelvis.
And did you use your compressed “leg springs” to launch you into the following two jumps?
Oddly enough, if you were to add a jump rope to this, you would on your way to spinning side swings like Lulu Hawton.
If you were to take this same technique one foot at a time moving forward, you would be running in a way that increases speed, preserves stamina (springs!), and drastically decreases your likelihood of injury.
Let’s try the same test with a few tweaks.
This time, jump, but land on your heels.
Your knees probably remained fairly straight and you felt the impact in your ankles, knees, hips, and possibly even your lower back.
Now, imagine attempting to jump rope this way.
It simply doesn’t work.
Not only would there be no second jump due to the lack of spring but the pain would stop you in your tracks—even in cushioned shoes.
But if jump rope technique and proper running technique are nearly identical, what are aggressive heel landings doing in running?
While a jump roper landing on their heels would resemble Frankenstein’s monster in an express lane to an orthopedist, this is how many people perform the aggressive airborne walk—aka, a heel-striking, over-striding run.
But why do we run this way? Well, our shoes let us get away with it.
Thick heel cushioning and a bit of forward momentum do a great job of masking the pain of repeated blows against every joint up the chain—for a while, anyway. Eventually, the chickens come home to roost in the form of stress fractures, meniscus tears, plantar fasciitis, “runner’s knee,” IT-band syndrome, and more.
Not to brag (and maybe to knock on some wood), I have never experienced any of these injuries in my three years of running.
Is this because I’m some kind of running genius with all of the cheat codes? Haha, I wish! It’s simply sheer luck that I started out with jumping rope before running—an activity that shares the same injury-preventing techniques.
So, are the shoes totally to blame? No.
It is possible to run with proper form in shoes with raised, cushioned heels. But it’s not as easy.
When your heel is totally cushioned, you will be able to run with a heel strike in the same way you can hit your head against a brick wall while wearing a football helmet. And in both instances, it will eventually become less about the forces outside of the foam and more about the forces inside the cushion against each other that do the most damage.
“So, how can getting a jump rope help me become a better runner?”
Jump rope is a tremendous training tool for runners for the same reason why running barefoot can also be helpful—the feedback is immediate.
Though running with inefficient and injurious form is possible, the feedback from doing so isn’t so immediate. When it comes to jumping rope, however, you won’t get through too many skips if you don’t learn to utilize the springs in your legs. The rope doesn’t pull punches.
So, get a rope and get started.
If you’re new to jump rope, I would recommend acquiring two pieces of equipment.
Firstly, find a jump rope with a little bit, but not too much, weight to it. The weight will help you feel the position of the rope during it’s entire rotation and remain in better sync with your wrist spins
My favorite rope for this purpose is a 7mm PVC model called the Hererope, which costs a whopping $15. If you find this to be too thick or heavy, a cheap 5mm PVC model will work as well.
Secondly, to protect your rope and provide a nice jumping surface, I would recommend a large foam-rubber exercise mat. My favorite is a massive 78” mat for $32—which is probably the cheapest jump rope mat you will find.
When it comes to footwear, barefoot is ideal. This will help strengthen and mobilize your feet—including your likely overly-supported neglected arches.
And just how does one begin to jump rope?

• Keep a tall posture—imagining a string pulling you up from the crown of your head.
• Your chest should open, elbows back, hands about a fist’s width from your pockets.
• Jump from the balls of your feet, only high enough to clear the rope. When landing, let the skin of your heels “kiss” the floor—touching without taking on weight.
• Keep your knees slightly bent, using every landing to load your springs for the next take-off.
• Keep the cadence quick to maximize spring recoil. To help, listen to a song that’s at about 160 beats per minute, such as the song “Hey Ya” by Outkast (or a song of similar tempo) to get a feel for the speed for skipping rope. (For running, many recommend using “Rock Lobster” by the B-52s for cadence tempo reference.)

Start with short seasons hopping with both feet—maybe 30 seconds on, 30 seconds rest. Aim for minimal muscular activation, instead, using the recoil of your tendons and ligaments for suspension and launch as much as possible.
From jumping with both feet, move onto learning an alternating leg bounce—essentially a jog skip. Right, left, right, left—all while keeping an imaginary belt level with the horizon.
By now, you’re essentially running in place with an extremely efficient technique.
Now, apply your jump rope skills to your running!
This is going to seem quite bizarre, but it is possible (and even beneficial) to take your jump rope for a run.

• Start skipping rope on a road or path with the alternating leg bounce. Remember to keep your elbows back, shoulders relaxed, head pulled up as if tugged skyward by a string from your crown and your imaginary belt level with the horizon.
• Then, as though leaning forward just enough to give someone a kiss or have an imaginary umbilical cord lightly tugged, begin to jump rope forward.
• Remember to continue to land and load on your mid-foot—aiming to keep your weight under your pelvis just like skipping rope. Landing on your heels will likely snag the rope and keep your foot on the ground too long.
• As you proceed with this, remember how it feels—the quick foot turnover, the posture, the recoil in your leg springs, the core stability, and the lightness of it.
• In the middle of doing this, simply toss the handles behind you and keep running as though it was still there—still pretending to spin the handles.
• At a comfortable stopping point, run back to your rope—now using your hands in a wood-chop motion to counter balance your leg bounces while keeping your pelvis (imaginary belt) level and stable.

And there you have it!
You may find it quite helpful to return to this drill once or twice a week. Also if you find your form slipping a bit or becoming slugging mid-run, feel free to skip imaginary rope to try to correct your technique mid-stride. It will restore lightness and springiness to your running.
I still find myself bringing my wrists to my pockets and spinning imaginary jump rope handles if I feel my technique is collapsing a bit or if my running is becoming less springy.
And remember, most importantly—have fun. 👍
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You can also:

• Subscribe to the Kenetic YouTube Channel
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I apologize beforehand for the long winding post!
A little background for which influences my opinion, I'm very very new to the fandom and although I was aware of RIIZE (all those hype about Wonbin) and lowkey enjoyed their music, I was not sold on fully supporting them beyond listening to their music on random spotify playlist. I have always been a single group stan type (I only follow and spend money on 1 group) and since I left my previous fandom (member's sexual harassment scandal) I have been following K-Pop very casually without getting "into" any group so to speak. I was also aware of Seunghan's (and Sohee's and Eunseok's and Anton's) "scandals", but I only read the news in passing without being invested in any of it. However, I've been obsessed with 'Impossible' since it was released and youtube algorithm somehow showed me their newest WE RIIZE content and I love playing boardgames irl so I clicked on it. Let's just say that they "get" me with that and so, yes--my first genuine introduction to RIIZE is that of OT6.
I found them really sweet and funny in their own ways and started a deep dive on their contents and following them on social media. I have never followed NCT so I did not know who either Sungchan or Shotaro was until RIIZE and only after that I started reading stuff about their experience in NCT too. Let me begin to say that I agree that the reaction to Seunghan's "scandal" is proportionally harsh and SM's decision to put him in hiatus is unfair considering how other idols are given second chance with worse behavior. I totally understand the opinion of OT7s that wants him back. I agree that he's very talented and I can see from their old contents that's he's a mood-maker with hosting duties in the group. He is a valuable member of the team. I am sure the rest of the members love him and miss him too.
I totally understand all of these points, however I personally think he has been in hiatus for too long so I want SM to give us either an update or closure whatever that might be, whether it is OT7 or they are moving on with OT6. This has been dragging for too long to the point he has been in hiatus longer than being active and also while the group is in a critical stage of their career. As fans are aware RIIZE is about to release a new mini album--so, honestly, the talk of boycott scares me. I understand that the point is to make SM listen to fans' demand but honestly I am more worried about how it may impact SM's treatment to RIIZE. The group has been mismanaged so far (and SM keeps adding more problems to RIIZE's plate with the Japan tour schedule) and I just do not want it to get worse. They are successful rookies but they are just still rookies now without any power, what if SM decides that it's not worth it to promote them well and put them on a backburner? I realize that this is a very pessimistic POV and they probably will end up getting mismanaged anyway (because SM) but the members just seem so eager and happy to promote and as long as it's not impacting their health, I want them to achieve everything they want to achieve.
This is gonna get me some backlash but I am not gonna lie, after watching their more recent youtube contents, recent performance clips and reading reports about the fan-con I am more attached to OT6 and less to Seunghan since I haven't been seeing as much of him. Perhaps it's because I am more used to RIIZE without Seunghan, I don't find them really lacking in anything--they are hardworkers who will keep growing and improving and they are already getting more and more comfortable with each other and with the camera. I find them funny and endearing in their own chill way and I enjoy their songs and performances. It's not that I am against Seunghan coming back because if he does I will gladly celebrate OT7 and learn more about him--however my current concern is the stability of the group and the atmosphere surrounding it. They are Gen Zs so I am sure they are hyper aware of social media and I selfishly want the fandom to focus on them and their hard-work without all these controversies surrounding them. The rest of the members are experiencing so many of their first achievements together now as OT6, idk if Seunghan still lives in the dorm but being in this weird limbo must be hard for both him and the members. Seeing the members cry in fan-cons broke my heart, they have been through a lot and they only debuted like 8 months ago? I feel like the longer this is dragged out, the worse it will become.
I am aware that it is not uncommon for SM to put their artists in long hiatus, but at this point I just want SM to give some update or closure--when is Seunghan coming back? Is Seunghan ever coming back? It's ok if it will take him a while to comeback because he needs to prioritize his mental health. But still, I want to know what the decision is as soon as possible.

Back in 2021 when I was in the heat of binging a million seasonal anime, I found Super Cub. I would give tons of shows a few episodes before deciding to watch more, and Super Cub really stood out. It wasn’t anything flashy but the mood was so heavy and quiet at first. We follow Koguma living life all on her own, keeping herself afloat. She’s quiet and doesn’t do much besides the necessities. As she bikes to school she gets bombarded with the realization a regular bicycle isn’t gonna cut it anymore, and she works to get herself a motorbike of her very own.
Through her motorbike, the titular Honda Super Cub, the world around Koguma begins to shine in a way she never thought was possible. She meets other girls with a keen interest in motorbikes and finds kindness in unlikely places. The beauty of this show is in how something so mundane from the outside can be truly life changing in the eye of the beholder. I won’t lie I was super fixated on this show as it aired, more than any of the heavy hitters that entire year. Getting to watch Koguma grow and change into the person she wants to be by her own hands without even realizing it is so beautiful, like watching a flower bloom so brightly. It brought me a sense of comfort in turbulent times and a stability I still work towards in my own every day. It really is the definition of a comfort show. This show is a testament to how you heal by continuing to go out and experience life; by going out and living rather than locking yourself up in your room or your basic routines. You can find passion in anything and work what you learn from that into the rest of your life, and that’s such a beautiful thing to me.
Would Recommend if you like:
Aria YKK GLT Iyashikei as a genre Iyashikei (癒し系) is a Japanese word that means "healing". It is a sub-genre of Japanese anime and manga that are intended to have a calming or healing effect on the audience.

In 2024, which is the Year of the Dragon according to the Chinese zodiac, it is believed to be encountering your Ben Ming Nian, which may bring various challenges and obstacles. However, whether it will lead to unfavorable outcomes or not requires a closer examination.
As a Chinese astrologer, I often receive inquiries from foreign friends regarding this matter. I can tell you that from the perspective of Chinese astrology, there may indeed be some influence, resulting in more troubles and hindrances. But as for whether the outcomes are all negative, it depends on how the individual manages their path. Transforming troubles into motivation is just a hill to climb on the road to success. You will eventually reach the finish line. Therefore, our Zi Wei Dou Shu (traditional Chinese astrology) can help you find the right path. If you are a jeep, you won't fear muddy roads, but if you're driving a sports car, even the most luxurious car won't be able to take you to your destination. Chinese astrology teaches you to drive the right vehicle on the right path, avoiding dangers along the way and reaching your destination.
Now, let's focus on you, born in year of dragon(People born in 1940, 1952, 1964, 1976, 1988, 2000, 2012 and 2024, facing the challenges of your Ben Ming Nian in the Year of the Dragon, 2024. How might your fortune fare?
Entering 2024, you may feel things stagnating, experiencing confusion, frustration, and obstacles. The confusion you encounter won't happen suddenly; from a positive perspective, you have enough time to resolve them. However, from a negative perspective, it may slowly erode your patience. Therefore, be prepared to confront the challenges in 2024. You need to be resilient enough to solve them, as doing so will eventually lead to positive outcomes.
Due to these challenges, pay attention to your emotional well-being, treat yourself kindly, focus on your inner world, and spend time outdoors to relieve stress. Avoid making extreme decisions that could tarnish your reputation and affect your work negatively.
For those unmarried and in love, this year may bring dissatisfaction in relationships, with persistent conflicts or gaps, making it difficult to make decisions. For now, separation may not be an option, but the future outcomes will depend on each individual's specific natal chart.
For married individuals with children, you may face challenges in your parent-child relationship, feeling a communication breakdown and stagnation. Don't worry, try communicating with your children as equals and avoid exerting authority as it may backfire.
If you have siblings of the same sex, your relationship may be tense this year, leading to disputes that affect family harmony. Your relationship with your mother may also be average. Avoid direct confrontations with family members and communicate tactfully. If there are existing financial interests within the family, be cautious not to jeopardize relationships due to money matters.
Financially, there may be indications of financial loss, but it's not significant. You can mitigate this by making charitable donations, avoiding impulsive spending due to emotional issues, which could lead to regret later.
Overall, it's not as pessimistic as it seems, but being in your Ben Ming Nian, you need to be cautious. Communicate as much as possible when faced with challenges and find healthy ways to release stress. If you encounter confusing issues, you can contact us for a specific analysis of your natal chart, hoping to help everyone choose the path that suits them best.
Some daily solutions include: 1. Maintain a healthy lifestyle. This year may be challenging for you, and although it may not be tumultuous, it could feel like a constant ache. You need a strong body and mind to get through this period, and good health can assist you. 2. Stick to your principles. Hardships can wear down your will. Without a firm heart and principles, you may veer onto the wrong path, make mistakes, or even break the law, which could significantly impact your life. 3. Try to avoid wearing clothes in bright red. Generally, choose clothes in yellow hues to improve your mood. 4. Yellow is the lucky color for this year. You can choose to wear a yellow pixiu, which can help ward off evil and attract wealth, stabilizing your financial fortune.
Recorded by Master Christina Chan on May 9th, 2024
I hope this information can help everyone find the most suitable path according to their own conditions.

In 2024, which is the Year of the Dragon, the next zodiac sign in the Chinese zodiac cycle is the Snake. As the ancient saying goes, "Dragons and snakes intertwine," in Chinese culture, dragons and snakes are often mentioned together. So, for those born in the Year of the Snake, how will your fortune fare in 2024? Let's explore.
As a Chinese astrologer, I often receive inquiries from foreign friends regarding whether using the zodiac to predict fortune is accurate. I can tell you that there is indeed a correlation, but it cannot solely rely on the zodiac. Instead, it must be combined with individual natal charts. After all, there are only 12 zodiac signs, but everyone's destiny is different. What we can provide is guidance on how to navigate your own path. Everyone's starting point and foundation are different, and the choice of path and the difficulties encountered along the way also vary. Our Zi Wei Dou Shu (traditional Chinese astrology) can help you find the right path. If you are a jeep, you won't fear muddy roads, but if you're driving a sports car, even the most luxurious car won't be able to take you to your destination. Chinese astrology teaches you to drive the right vehicle on the right path, avoiding dangers along the way, and reaching your destination.
Now, let's focus on those born in the Year of the Snake. How might your fortune fare in 2024?
Firstly, you may encounter career entanglements, feeling difficult to break through and experiencing a sense of stagnation, which will consume a considerable amount of your energy. Fortunately, there won't be any major crises; figuratively speaking, it's like being slowly cut by a small knife, not life-threatening but uncomfortable. So, brace yourself, as this will be a lengthy battle. Of course, long battles can lead to different outcomes. As for the final result, it can be referenced based on individual circumstances over the years. This involves consulting individual natal charts, and if interested, you can learn more about it.
Secondly, your love life may be constantly entangled. This year, you will pay more attention to your emotions. If you happen to be in a romantic relationship, you may experience conflicts with your partner, but they won't be fundamental issues. Instead, your relationship will seem to be going in circles, unable to break through. The good news is that there are no "fatal" problems, so your love life won't end here, but how to manage it properly will be a big challenge.
Thirdly, be cautious of your relationships with same-sex siblings or friends who are like brothers. Be wary of betrayal; such is the nature of human relationships. Even with trust and familiarity, conflicts may arise due to certain issues. It's not about distrusting those around you, but be cautious when conflicts of interest arise.
Fortunately, none of the above issues are particularly ominous; they are manageable situations, so there's no need to be too pessimistic. Express your stress in healthy ways. If you encounter confusing issues, you can contact us for a specific analysis of your natal chart, hoping to help everyone choose the path that suits them best.
Some daily solutions include: 1. Maintain a healthy lifestyle. This year may be challenging for you, although it won't be tumultuous, it may feel like a constant ache. You'll need a strong body and mind to get through this period, and good health can assist you. 2. Stick to your principles. Hardships can wear down your will. Without a firm heart and principles, you may veer onto the wrong path, make mistakes, or even break the law, which could significantly impact your life. 3. Try to avoid wearing clothes in bright red. Generally, choose clothes in yellow hues to improve your mood. 4. Yellow is the lucky color for this year. You can choose to wear a yellow pixiu, which can help ward off evil and attract wealth, stabilizing your financial fortune. 5. You can also choose a Five Elements bracelet, which can help you advance in various energy aspects, especially if you're experiencing romantic and financial troubles in 2024.
Recorded by Master Chu Chu on May 13th, 2024, I hope this information can help everyone find the most suitable path according to their own conditions.

In 2024, which is the Year of the Dragon, the next zodiac sign in the Chinese zodiac cycle is the Snake. As the ancient saying goes, "Dragons and snakes intertwine," in Chinese culture, dragons and snakes are often mentioned together. So, for those born in the Year of the Snake, how will your fortune fare in 2024? Let's explore.
As a Chinese astrologer, I often receive inquiries from foreign friends regarding whether using the zodiac to predict fortune is accurate. I can tell you that there is indeed a correlation, but it cannot solely rely on the zodiac. Instead, it must be combined with individual natal charts. After all, there are only 12 zodiac signs, but everyone's destiny is different. What we can provide is guidance on how to navigate your own path. Everyone's starting point and foundation are different, and the choice of path and the difficulties encountered along the way also vary. Our Zi Wei Dou Shu (traditional Chinese astrology) can help you find the right path. If you are a jeep, you won't fear muddy roads, but if you're driving a sports car, even the most luxurious car won't be able to take you to your destination. Chinese astrology teaches you to drive the right vehicle on the right path, avoiding dangers along the way, and reaching your destination.
Now, let's focus on those born in the Year of the Snake. How might your fortune fare in 2024?
Firstly, you may encounter career entanglements, feeling difficult to break through and experiencing a sense of stagnation, which will consume a considerable amount of your energy. Fortunately, there won't be any major crises; figuratively speaking, it's like being slowly cut by a small knife, not life-threatening but uncomfortable. So, brace yourself, as this will be a lengthy battle. Of course, long battles can lead to different outcomes. As for the final result, it can be referenced based on individual circumstances over the years. This involves consulting individual natal charts, and if interested, you can learn more about it.
Secondly, your love life may be constantly entangled. This year, you will pay more attention to your emotions. If you happen to be in a romantic relationship, you may experience conflicts with your partner, but they won't be fundamental issues. Instead, your relationship will seem to be going in circles, unable to break through. The good news is that there are no "fatal" problems, so your love life won't end here, but how to manage it properly will be a big challenge.
Thirdly, be cautious of your relationships with same-sex siblings or friends who are like brothers. Be wary of betrayal; such is the nature of human relationships. Even with trust and familiarity, conflicts may arise due to certain issues. It's not about distrusting those around you, but be cautious when conflicts of interest arise.
Fortunately, none of the above issues are particularly ominous; they are manageable situations, so there's no need to be too pessimistic. Express your stress in healthy ways. If you encounter confusing issues, you can contact us for a specific analysis of your natal chart, hoping to help everyone choose the path that suits them best.
Some daily solutions include: 1. Maintain a healthy lifestyle. This year may be challenging for you, although it won't be tumultuous, it may feel like a constant ache. You'll need a strong body and mind to get through this period, and good health can assist you. 2. Stick to your principles. Hardships can wear down your will. Without a firm heart and principles, you may veer onto the wrong path, make mistakes, or even break the law, which could significantly impact your life. 3. Try to avoid wearing clothes in bright red. Generally, choose clothes in yellow hues to improve your mood. 4. Yellow is the lucky color for this year. You can choose to wear a yellow pixiu, which can help ward off evil and attract wealth, stabilizing your financial fortune. 5. You can also choose a Five Elements bracelet, which can help you advance in various energy aspects, especially if you're experiencing romantic and financial troubles in 2024.
Recorded by Master Chu Chu on May 13th, 2024, I hope this information can help everyone find the most suitable path according to their own conditions.

Hi everyone,
I’ve been with my partner (27m) for almost 10 years. We got married last June. We got together before he got his diagnosis, which he finally received in 2021 for bipolar 2 and cyclothymia.
Before he was medicated he had a lot of depressive episodes for months at a time, particularly in winter, and would have sudden, aggressive outbursts over very minute things. He got so much better whilst he was on his medication, his mood was stable and he was more relaxed, didn’t have any sudden outbursts and we were getting on better than we ever had. I believe he was on 200/250mg lamictal for his bipolar and 150mg sertraline for anxiety.
I noticed he started acting differently in November last year, around 5 months after our wedding and a few weeks after his birthday. He’s always been pretty introverted, but suddenly he was meeting up and talking to friends he hadn’t seen for years, staying out late without keeping in touch, taking much more care of his appearance and becoming more vain. His memory became awful and he kept forgetting things, he also began skiving off work and neglecting his job responsibilities, as well as chores etc around the house more than usual and was listening to music constantly and always on his phone.
As the months have gone on, he’s become more and more distant from me and tells me to my face that he thinks I’m boring now and we no longer have anything in common, even though the only thing that’s altered in terms of his hobbies is how much he listens to music and goes to concerts, he’s also started running 5k every evening.
He then began saying we should have an open marriage and see other people, which is extremely out of character. He says this is the best and happiest he’s ever felt in his life, and I’m just putting him down - he’s got a very inflated sense of confidence at the moment and says he’s finally feeling like himself.
I suspected he was hyper manic as he was acting very out of character and then discovered he was altering his medication and reducing his dose. I told his doctor who had him assessed at a psychiatric facility, where they somehow concluded he wasn’t manic despite his odd behaviour.
As the months have gone on his behaviour has gotten worse, he still goes out for an entire weekend without properly keeping in touch, he’s started saying that he feels nothing towards anyone and like he’s a sociopath — saying he could stab someone and not feel anything, doesn’t feel empathy towards others etc. he’s also began having angry outbursts again over very small things and will be verbally abusive towards me. He’s now reduced his lamictal to 100mg and completely come off his Sertraline, and says he plans to come off his lamictal completely very soon. I've informed his doctor of this and they said they'll try and get him seen by a psychiatrist.
Every time I try and talk to him about how he’s feeling he just shuts down, he insists he isn’t manic or going through any sort of episode but I’ve known him for 10 years and have never known him to act like this. I feel like he despises me and he tells me he resents me and isn't sure if he loves me anymore as he doesn't feel anything towards anyone at the moment. He keeps saying we should get a divorce as we're too different now and I can't accept the 'new version' of him, which he says is here to stay.
I don't know what to do. I'm getting no support from his doctor or family, and I still feel in my heart that this is some kind of episode and isn't the real him. I'm worried if we separate he'll later regret it, even though he says he feels more like himself than ever. I love him so much and don't want to split up, but I don't recognise the person he's become.

What is Looking-Glass Self? This is concept in sociology, discovered in 1902 by Cooley - and his theory states that we form our own identity based on what we think other people think who we are. In fact, the whole sociology is based on social anxiety- the very same social anxiety that psychiatry (CBT and DSM) are pathologizing and trying to cure and destroy and present as mental illness.
Without social anxiety, without ability to worry what other people think about us - we would lose social skills, empathy and civilization norms - such as not eating others.
"If it weren't for the nervous people in the world, we'd all still be eating each other." The Misfits (1961) https://youtu.be/h56iL7vK5Y0
When people consume chicken - they eat the flesh of animals because there is no ability to connect with the slaughtered animals as conscious beings who are able to think and perceive us. So when we destroy social anxiety- our ability to worry what other people think - we will become psychopaths, sociopaths and narcissists. This also provide us with important information of self expression and holding toxic people accountable - by stating the facts and truth. Toxic people learn to suppress social anxiety - and this gives them ability to be cruel. And the only way to probe their delusions is to speak the truth to them. And that is why toxic people mock and go into hysteria mode - because their suppressed conscience and morality and ethics are eating them from inside.
Dolphins are not caught with smiles but cruelly with hooks, Michele. One day you will learn to be cruel. Caravaggio (1986) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GF12uM_GK74
Sociology is based on social anxiety - that we form our own identity based on society. We need other people to provide us information who we are and how to express ourselves. The language is the very first thing that society gives us to define who we are - by using the very words that society is using.
Theories of the Self
William James (1890): A person has "as many social selves as there are individuals who recognize him and carry and image of him in their minds"
Charles Cooley (1902): Views of self reflect the standpoints of significant others in our lives ("looking-glass self")
George Herbert Mead (1934): We imagine the perspectives of others and incorporate these into our self views - and that this occurs continuously as we interact with others on an ongoing, moment to moment basis.

Having a distorted looking glass (incorrectly imagining others’ opinions of us) can cause bad feelings, or a negative self-image. https://wa01001786.schoolwires.net/cms/lib/WA01001786/Centricity/Domain/70/Socialization%20Notes.pdf
What happens when we are around toxic people - is that our identity is deformed as well. CBT claims, along with DSM, that our worry what other people think - is personality disorder, called Borderline:
Reality testing is ability to perceive reality properly. Without too much deviation from facts. Borderline refer to you if want to know anything about reality. “Do you think so too?” Narcissist will tell you "am I not genius". YT Richard Grannon & Prof. Sam Vaknin about Fantasy
Borderline personality disorder is a mental health condition that affects the way people feel about themselves and others, making it hard to function in everyday life. It includes a pattern of unstable, intense relationships, as well as impulsiveness and an unhealthy way of seeing themselves. (Mayo Clinic)
The truth is - if we are around toxic people, their criticism will affect our self worth. Their constant nagging, constant nitpicking, constant error finding and constant drama about anything that moves - will have an effect on our sense of stability and security in the world. This is not disorder. This is simply how society works. In order to heal our mental health issues - we need to repair connections with other people - which may include minimizing exposure to toxic people or cutting toxic people completely off from our lives.
We will never feel secure, confident, worthy - if there are toxic people around us who are criticizing us and others all the time.
Improving our relationships is improving our mental health. William Glasser
Interpersonal strife with those close to us leads to rifts and resentments that produce symptoms of mental illness; these problems are, in fact, the logical consequence of troubled relationships. Glasser emphasizes that lasting psychological problems are usually caused by problems in our personal relationships (rather than signifying a biochemical abnormality in the brain), and distress can be remedied through repairing these relationships without recourse to psych drugs. DK psychology book, WILLIAM GLASSER
Being able to feel safe with other people is probably the single most important aspect of mental health; safe connections are fundamental to meaningful and satisfying lives. Dr. Bessel van der Kolk
In another words: feel safe with other people = mental health
The single most important issue for traumatized people is to find a sense of safety in their own bodies. 🟦 Bessel A. van der Kolk
Toxic people cause social anxiety. That is why social anxiety is called social+anxiety. There is social element that is causing the anxiety. There is social factor contributing to anxiety. It is not called self-anxiety. We did not catch social anxiety by walking randomly in the street when it was rainy, so we caught a common cold. It is not like we felt bored in our lives so we invented neuroticism to keep us active and occupied. Social anxiety must start in childhood with ACE and ACoA where we learned from early on - that life is dangerous, that people are not safe, that we must worry to be hyper-vigilant and that we are unworthy if we make any kind of mistakes. We learned that our flaws, imperfections and mistakes are our core personality - abnormal and inept.
Society attacks early, when the individual is helpless. B. F. Skinner
This is how we end up with Broken Looking Glass Self. Distorted Looking Glass Self. We end up with operant conditioning - to worry what other people think in such way that we attempt to think for the other person ahead of time, so that they do not get mad of us - and then attempt, we try hard not to make other people mad. And how we execute this operant conditioning - depends on our background, people around us and punishments to which we were exposed as kids. Most socially anxious learn to keep quiet. To shut up. To self censor. And to self blame. If the other person is angry or hysterical - we will feel responsible for their mood swings and we will try hard to fix their emotions and their problems. Soon - we spread this fixing on other people, who are not angry - and we create fake social mask that is always pleasant and nice and helpful to anyone, especially if they are angry and rude and intrusive. We learned to interpret their anger as our fault and our abnormality. Looking glass self is broken - because it does not reflect any more - now we imagine how to please other people without using looking glass (mirror) - as all people use it.
Other people are there as information post. They broadcast who they are, many of them mask their true Self and present fake version of themselves, their social mask. Our brain will naturally form opinion about us through the words and opinions and non-verbal gestures from other people, strangers or our acquaintances. This part is totally normal. This is not disorder. This is not illness. The disorder starts when we try hard to fix other people's conclusions about us by making ourselves small and by changing our routine so that we soothe the other person. Instead of CBT techniques - all that we need to do here is to allow other people to think whatever they choose to think about us. Simply allow other people to hate us and leave it at that.
We really have to work very hard at changing our programming because we don't understand we're upset because someone else has a perception of us that we're uncomfortable with. And we challenge this person's perception of us. We're upset that people think this about us. Something amazing happens when you begin to accept that other people are allowed to have their own faulty perception of you. 🟥 Lisa A. Romano Breakthrough Life coach Inc.
For the next step, sociology will also help us. CBT and DSM, psychiatry is telling us concrete steps which we must take - and morally and ethically speaking - this is illegal. When someone orders us what we must do - this is called manipulation and coercive control. This way anyone who is psychopathic and narcissistic can climb, grab and push their way to powerful position of ordering others what to do - and then evil people can easily manipulate and control the masses. This is what happens with psychiatry. Psychology on the other hand explains concepts - psychology does not order us what to do in life and how to react. That is why Humanistic psychology is healthy.
It is the client who knows what hurts, what directions to go, what problems are crucial, what experiences have been deeply buried. Carl Rogers
In the same manner as Humanistic Psychology and IFS Model - sociology also has the similar term that allows clients freedom in own choices - which is called Thomas theorem.
The Thomas theorem is a theory of sociology which was formulated in 1928 by William Isaac Thomas and Dorothy Swaine Thomas: If men define situations as real, they are real in their consequences. In other words, the interpretation of a situation causes the action. This interpretation is not objective. (wiki)
If men define situations as real, they are real in their consequences. - formulated in 1928 by William Isaac Thomas and Dorothy Swaine Thomas
This means - that no other person can objectively tell us what is the best way to go in life. We need our inner GPS, our intuition, our common sense, other people as well - to form our reality and our construct of the future where we are headed. With CBT and DSM - we do not have this freedom. With CBT and DSM - we are pathologized instead - and all our focus is spent on fixing our symptoms - we are literally self consuming ourselves with CBT.
In real life- real life situations will not allow us to form rigid mindset. Any other person, any other situation in life - good or bad - is always unique and different. Sometimes it is great that we shut up and that we self censor ourselves - especially if we are tired and we don't want to harm other people with our nagging and complaints that will go off as soon as we get to sleep and rest. On the other hand - many situations in life that are triggering our social anxiety require from us to self express, that we talk out our truth - no matter how much manipulative people attempt to shut us up with mocking and shaming.
So when we allow other people to form toxic conclusions about us - we need to know that we can rely on our brain, on our intuition to tell us how to react and what to do and how to behave. We have this mechanism inside us. We do not need to pathologize ourselves with CBT. CBT will tell us that we must be assertive in order to handle toxic people. This is horrible advice because:
"If you have been the scapegoat in a narcissistic family system, the concept of setting a boundary is laughable. You would be telling them exactly how to hurt you, and they would happily oblige. Also, trying to set a boundary in a calm and tactful way would be met by resistance in the form of mocking and ridicule, attempting to bait the scapegoat into anger, which would prove you are the problem." YT kingbee9778
"I feel gaslighted by the therapy mantras of “ you have to teach people how to treat you “ ,(setting boundaries). No you don’t and no you can’t. First of all, it’s not my job to teach an adult how to behave like one and quite frankly, it’s a trap and a drain hole. Secondly, I DON’T CONTROL OTHER PEOPLE. They will do what they want, especially if they have the tiniest ounce of power over you." YT gertrudewest4535
When we follow CBT - we will repeat the broken Looking Glass Self when we exposure ourselves to social situations - and social anxiety will not go away - because we will continually process the same ways reality and other people in a manner that is toxic to us - through seeking approval from other people, through self flagellation, through harsh inner critic and internalized toxic shame.
To fix broken Looking-Glass Self means fixing social anxiety: when we are afraid of what other people think about us. With CBT we self pathologize our normal reaction to worry what other people think about us. This is not disorder, it is totally normal to have awareness that other people are thinking about us.
Many social anxiety coaches will use "Spotlight effect" as proof that other people do not worry about us:
"The spotlight effect is the psychological phenomenon by which people tend to believe they are being noticed more than they really are."
In toxic contact - toxic people - those same ones who trigger our social anxiety - do notice anything about us. In normal population - other people will think about us and we will define each other - through the process called The Michelangelo phenomenon - where we chisel each other into better version, where we change our toxic habits that hurt us as much as they hurt other people. In unhealthy, toxic social dynamics there will be the opposite: Golem Effect and Crab mentality. Where there is competition and where other person is perceived as threat and someone to pull down.
A lot of content on mental health in mainstream media does not cover the unique corner that survivors of narcissistic abuse live in. Not one mention of being in any kind of toxic relationship. “Avoid your triggers” is not easy in narcissistic relationships. When the discomfort is living in your house or down the street or in the next office. It was not even rumination, but reality. And the constant exposure means you don't get a break. 🟥 DoctorRamani https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uusKWmjUk6k
I'm not setting boundary with these people. “Don't do this with me”. “Don't say this with me”. It's all internal. Because if you try to set a boundary with someone who's narcissistic or antagonistic – it's never going to work. And I think it's unsafe guidance to give.
With this dangerous person no. But what are you willing to tolerate. How can you protect yourself emotionally. What access can you remove. Move these people from VIP section.
🟥 Dr. Ramani - Terri Cole
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eSHI5N-w5sk
With broken Looking-Glass Self - we end up being trapped in toxic people's minds. Similar to horror movie / book The Cell from 2000. Even when we develop Who cares attitude, and when we consciously try to block and build walls away from toxic people, when we try hard to push down and suppress toxic people - we are still trapped in their reality of what they potentially might think about us. This is why CBT is not working - because CBT tries hard to convince us to use suppression as method to block social anxiety. And we cannot block other people - we need other people for our identity and our self worth - where there is healthy interaction called Interdependence. Toxic people behave in codependent way - they see other people as competition and this creates codependency. They need other people like vampires need blood - to exploit someone's attention, someone's focus, money, time and or resources of any kind. It is like give me, give me, give me - and provide nothing in return. With social anxiety we end up giving others without observing if the other person is emotionally invested in us at all. It ends up and one side interaction, exploitation really. Social anxiety means suppress anger as well. We learned to push our anger away - and this attracts toxic people who count on our silence and understanding and toxic empathy - knowing that they can cross boundaries of social interaction in their favor and we won't make any kind of protest. Then our own only protection - is avoidance. Therefore - social anxiety is natural defense mechanism against dangerous criminally insane psychopaths who are abusing their power position against ourselves.
In our teen years we experiences bully experience - after years of exposure to ACoA and ACE (constant criticism and constant drama at home) - so we generalized the belief that we cannot trust other people - and we learned that we process reality through broken Looking Glass Self - where we appease other people with our decisions - by being afraid what other people may think badly of us - since we were pressed and pushed into equating social rejection and our self worth as if they are one of the same. And psychiatry - instead of explaining us that it is totally normal to worry what other people think - CBT explains us that this is abnormality. This faulty explanation from medical industry is adding more trauma and more toxic shame and it gives our inner critic free reign to self abuse us - because we believe we are abnormal and ill if we worry what other people thin about us. In reality - all people worry about others. Even psychopaths worry what other people will think, along with narcissists - because they know that they need to form fake social mask of charm in order to seduce new victims into their agenda of exploiting and manipulating others.
Looking-Glass Self tells us - that we simply allow toxic people to form bad opinion about us in their heads - and that we absolutely do nothing to change this image that toxic people freely choose to believe about us in their heads.
You're no longer going to play the game of what can I do differently to get them to behave differently – because the answer is to that is nothing. That's radical acceptance. It takes long time. And it's not just accepting their behavior is not going to change, it's also the way it affects you is also not going to change. Just because you radically accept doesn't mean that somebody screaming at you is going to hurt any less- it does,it hurts a lot 🟥 Dr. Ramani - Terri Cole https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eSHI5N-w5sk
Other people will hurt us. They will say mean and untrue things about us. They will attack us - this has nothing to do with who we are. Their choice to harm and hurt other person - is abnormality in their brain. Normal healthy sane people do not attack others. Normal healthy sane people have ability to emotionally regulate themselves. Person who does not have this ability - is sick and mentally ill. And this has nothing to do with us. We are not the ones who can cure them by changing our behavior.
Lundy Bancroft: "Abuse is NOT caused by bad relationship dynamics. You can't manage your partner's abusiveness by changing your behaviour. But he wants you to think you can."
The pain that we feel when toxic people attack us, verbally or physically - is normal pain, we need this pain as the instruction for us what to do with severely damaged people around us.
If you are not feeling pain, anger and sadness while you are taking in psychological abuse or something similar – you are going to end up in those situations over and over again –because you are not logging information that your body telling 🟥Heidi Priebe https://youtube.com/watch?v=GTQohPaGnSY
People say it bothers me when they say these things. I say, because they say bothersome things. I don't want you to lose that part of you. That part is good index what is okay, what's not. From that point – excavation. A person pulling their true self out of their relationships. If you grew up with narcissistic parent, it was a true self that never even got to develop. It's how much your identity got co-opted. What do I like, what do I stand for. 🟥 Dr. Ramani - Terri Cole https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eSHI5N-w5sk
The core of narcissistic person is very fragile. That's why they lose it when you critique them. Or give them feedback. Or don't read their mind. Or don't do exactly what they want. And that's why they use all kinds of tactics like manipulation, gaslighting, invalidation, dismissiveness, competitiveness, betrayal. Some of them are tactics, some are unemphatic behavior. And it gives them the upper hand in relationship. Control, power gives them supply. 🟥 Dr. Ramani - Cole https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eSHI5N-w5sk
With social anxiety - we do not need psychiatry. Socially anxious need sociology. It is after all social issue. Social anxiety is anxiety that is connected to society - the name itself reveals this crucial aspect: society, social, societal. Psychiatry will only leave us lacking and with belief that something is horribly wrong with us, when we are around toxic people:
DSM doesn't explain anything. So many therapies and particularly CBT and others are just so focused on extinguishing symptoms which were once strategies of survival. And it doesn't make sense that you want to extinguish – we want eventually to move away from these symptoms and these strategies but I certainly don't want to pathologize them or look at them as somehow defective because they have saved our lives. 🟥 Transforming Trauma Episode 21 IFS & NARM https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yRTHacVAwdk
When we stop self pathologizing our social anxiety - we will unburden ourselves with toxic idea that feeling pain is abnormal and sick. And it will give us energy to start looking what is causing this pain - instead of focusing ourselves on chasing the symptoms. Without the stigma and labels - we will have much more resources at our disposal to handle difficult people in life who are causing our social anxiety in the first place.
With social anxiety - we need to learn about the Cooley's concept Looking-Glass Self and other terms from sociology. Instead of pathologizing our social reactions - we simply need information to confirm us that we are not abnormal and inept as CBT paints the socially anxious. We need information to learn what our rights are.
Five themes of microaggression against people with mental illnesses
1. Invalidation
When other people dismiss their illness or symptoms through minimizing their experience, symptomizing their normal experiences, and patronizing
2. Assumption of inferiority
When other people assume that people with mental illness have lower intelligence, are incompetent, and that they do not have control
3. Fear of mental illness
When other people fear them because they believe that they may be dangerous or unpredictable
4. Shaming of mental illness
When other people tell them that they shouldn't let others know about their mental illness
5. Second class citizen attitudes
When other people treat them as if they don't have the same rights as the dominant group of society.
Mental Health Forum, 2016

Diagnosis is not an excuse to be selective about their rights. Autistic not weird
Healing the Broken Looking-Glass Self means learning about the mentality - which we never had chance to learn in our developmental years. Other children learned this concept via keeping connections with other people. We - started to avoid people. Even when we were around other people - we pulled our investment emotionally with other people - and this way we never learned that other people are safe. We developed the stump growth - that is being stuck in age 12, when we started to avoid people. Similar to the plant that cannot grow roots in small basin or tree/plant that is stumped in growing due to some kind of obstacle to grow upright. Our growth was shaped from the perspective of not trusting other people - because they harmed us. Other people learned to develop certain amount of trust. They learned to filter out the bad people. And they learned that they are safe to express themselves - without being punished for it. This is why their social anxiety is in normal threshold. They will experience stress and then behave in anti-social manner, they will express their anger without problems - because they were never pushed into forming their self worth through worry what their tormentors might think about them. So it is not like social anxiety is abnormality or sickness - it is simply that non-socially anxious people were lucky enough to grow in healthy ambient, and that is their secret. They were not stronger. They were not more competent. They were not better or superior to the socially anxious. They simply had privilege and entitlement that helped them over-pass developmental years without fearing other people. Their mechanisms how to handle triggers - are mostly unhealthy (lacking empathy) - but their Looking glass self was not broken. With interaction with other people, with other children, they learned naturally to allow difficult people to hate them. Instead of worry - that is found in social anxiety - they simply turned their focus onto other people. With social anxiety - we do not have other people, we have no one to turn to, since we learned that other people are painful and traumatic. We never learned that hanging around with other people is enjoyable experience - and if someone is rude, toxic and abnormal - that we are allowed to focus and place our attention to better, healthier people around us.
In shame culture ambient - we will learn that other people criticism is reflection of our worth - and that is Broken Looking-Glass Self. That we cannot feel good about ourselves until other person reflects positive words about us to us:
Young American explained why she left Croatia:
"In Croatia people constantly express intrusive opinion about matters which are none of their business. The most irritating things were rude people."
https://www.poslovni.hlifestyle/amerikanka-napusta-hrvatsku-neucinkovitost-i-birokracija-te-ljudi-koji-nemaju-motiva-za-napredovanjem-u-poslu-358422
Young American explained why she escaped from Croatia:
"Often I heard Croats intruding why am I eating something, or commenting about what I wore. There is no such thing in America, we allow people to be what they want to be. People here are strange as if I am inside toxic relationship."
https://www.vecernji.hshowbiz/amerikanka-u-hrvatskoj-iznenadila-objavom-ljudi-su-ovdje-cudni-kao-da-sam-u-losoj-vezi-1351757
Don't look to the approval of others for your mental stability. 🟦 Karl Lagerfeld
We will heal social anxiety trauma with healing our choice to stay stuck around toxic people. We can cut toxic people - even when we are unable to leave them physically - by severing the trauma bonding in our mind - that is broken Looking-Glass Self.
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. Eleanor Roosevelt
Yes, toxic people are pathological liars, They spread gossip. They create drama and hysteria. Toxic people do not have word toxic stuck on their forehead. Toxic people will not behave toxically in front of others - because they depend to look good in the eyes of other people - so they also have Looking-Glass Self no matter how much they said that they do not care what other people think about them. Therefore - social anxiety is clear indication that we are around toxic people. Toxic people do not allow us to express ourselves - and they use various methods of coercive control to manipulate their targets. The first step is to sever this trauma bonding - by allowing them to hate us.
That we basically stop impressing others.
Don't try to impress others. ✝️ Bible, Philippians 2-3
Cooley said our sense of Self comes from how we think other people see us. “I am not what I think I am. I am not what you think I am; I am what I think you think I am.” Other people's reflections of us and how we think about those images they have of us help create our sense of Self. Grades from teachers can reflect back to us an image of ourselves that we then internalize and becomes our self-perception. They effect self-image. 🟥 The Looking glass self https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1X1wwTCuZBo
We imagine we are seen by others. And that imagination forms our identity. Our identity is being shaped by others. Others is agent which influences who we are in society. You begin to believe that and you begin to see as your identity, what other people think of you. Intelligent, high self esteem, outgoing – you believe what people say about you, it becomes your identity. Our identity is formed through the way we imagine people see us.
🟥 Looking-glass Self https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_UWOflUXKUQ
That imagination comes from interaction with these people. In the process of interaction they tell you this is what we think about you. And then you go off believe in that. You don't control what people think about you. Front Stage Behavior: Familiarity breeds content-With front stage they behave nicely. It's in subconsciousness of individuals that they have to behave a certain way in public. At interview- they smile, but is this who they are?
🟥 Looking-glass Self https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_UWOflUXKUQ
It is often said that American Beauty is a film about identity. Each character seems to go through a very personal identity crisis. But I would argue that this crisis are not personal at all. They are products of wider social forces. We may define ourselves based on prevailing attitudes towards sexuality, beauty and material success. Sense of self strongly influences by social world.
🟥 American Beauty Film Analysis: The Sociology of Identity https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c6youJFbEgQ
Ricky shows Jane that he likes her as she is. Eventually this leads her abandoning the idea of surgery and gain enough confidence and self-esteem to tell Angela what she really thinks of her. Freed from idea that everyone looks down on he because of her physical appearance, Jane's sense of self is no longer defined how she looks, how she looks to others.
🟥 American Beauty Film Analysis: The Sociology of Identity https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c6youJFbEgQ
An individual realize its self by reflecting others' perceptions about him. They use social interactions as a mirror. A Person grows and develop due to interpersonal interactions of the Society. When one interacts socially, one completely considers how one looks in the eyes of others. Negative response leads to depression and anxiety.
🟥 Looking Glass Self Theory https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vAzsBj6yTpw
Looking Glass Self where you see yourself the way you think others see you. You can't see the way others truly see you. So you're seeing yourself they way you think others think they see you. You can see how much is lost in the translation. You're much more beautiful than you think. You attract so much more than you know. There's more going on with you than you care to acknowledge. Beauty is not about what you see. It's about what you reflect. 🟥 Looking Glass Self https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NFEkq8uDiJU
Mirror in front of you, and you are looking at yourself in the mirror, the way it is – is mirror in reality. As Masha labels you, tells you, comments on you, provides you all kinds of feedback, your self continues to develop. The way society perceives you and gives feedback about you. It is considered important to yourself and you have that impression that is how I should be. Their significance or importance makes you proud.
🟥 Looking Glass Self https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xa-PD1YVxj4
There is something you have never understood, Joe. These people at the top, they are the same as anybody else. But you had it inside of you to be so much bigger than any of them. You just had to be yourself. That was all. With me you were yourself. Only with me. Room at the Top (1958) https://youtu.be/Cs1C_Tu2crI

so i dont really know how to explain my symptoms other than very disorganized thinking i guess? ive also been medicated for the past 2 years, so its a little difficult to remember how it is fully as well, but i can feel my thought process revert when i dont take my meds for a while and i dont think its just me slipping into an episode, but i suppose it also could be 🤷 its hard since ive been medicated for so long but there are certain things that make me think it might be good to try out an antipsychotic with my mood stabilizers again.

A new patient(F45) mildly obese was brought in who was planned for ECT in a week. Though she might actually be bipolar (atleast on the spectrum). She was terrified of ECT.
She had severe depression including suicidality and severe agitation.
She was on Lithium 600mg/day (Started recently), Lamotrigine 200mg, Lexapro 20mg and clonazepam 1mg with quietiapine 50mg for sleep.
Since 2023 she'd been experiencing strange episodes according to her family.
Here's all the history and symptoms provided about these episodes since 2023 :

• Agitation/Inner restlessness: Unable to remain calm/sit still. Blaming all of her symptoms on this restlessness. When this comes the other symptoms which I'll mention come along too:
  
• Crying and shouting loudly (simply can not control this to sorta escape)
  
• Excessive anger and snapping at/blaming others for no reason: Involuntarily blame people for the most random and petty things who've been the most helpful and kind.
  
• Very Irritable.
  
• Suicidality (to escape the restlessness). Suicidal attempts in aggression where she had to be stopped with a lot of physical force.
  
• Guilt and worthlessness
  
• Irrational/Questionable decisions and behaviors were almost always noted by family members during these periods accompanied with extreme impatience.
  
• Energy: Being fatigued and unmotivated that she can't even move or do stuff. But at the same time having so much Energy to shout so loud and rip her chest open to escape the "agitation".
  
• Pupils were dilated when I saw her.
  

After her lexapro was increased to 20MG her symptoms have been just worsening and worsening including suicidality.
Benzos would do nothing even injectable ones for the agitation.
Then today when she came to me during the severe agitation I immediately thought of a mixed state. Gave her zyprexa and asked to taper down the lexapro.
After she took the zyprexa (sublingual) in about 2 hours experienced tremendous relief - felt calm, brain went silent and took a long nap quite refreshing. She wasn't bothered by people talking. She wasn't irritated. She just felt normal. The relief seemed never-ending.
It makes sense now how being put on lamictal back in 2023 put her into remission and it kept masking Lexapro's rebound effect(in bipolar)
I'm honestly unsure why high dose Lexapro was continued over a year (even though there was a clear worsening of symptoms with dosage increase) and why high dose benzodiazepines were constantly being used to control the agitation despite having little to no effect. Even effexor was started in cross-titration with Lexapro which further worsened her suicidality etc?
Sorta leaning towards ECT and later on adjusting the medications because it does seem to be severe and ECT it is quite effective though the patient wants to try the no-ssri approach.
If we do go with the latter approach, I plan on : - Switch to Vraylar for its good evidence in mixed states. Cariprazine is dirt cheap here.

• Stick to Lamotrigine and increase Lithium/ Switch to Valproate(Good evidence in mixed features).
  
• Wellbutrin for depression if it does not or only partially responds to psychotherapy.
  
• Gabapentin.
  
• Low dose Trazodone for insomnia.
  

Perhaps the increased energy from the (hypo)mania and the activation from the SSRI is resulting in the restlessness which explains the relief from Olanzapine. I've seen many hypomanic patients who'd get so restless that they wanted to crawl out of their own skin.
What's your go to treatment for mixed states? What about the efficacy of Lithium in mixed bipolarity? Which mood stabilizers seem to work best?

A new patient was brought in who was planned for ECT in a week. Though she might actually be bipolar (atleast on the spectrum). She was terrified of ECT.
She had severe depression including suicidality and severe agitation.
She was on Lithium 600mg/day (Started recently), Lamotrigine 200mg, Lexapro 20mg and clonazepam 1mg with quietiapine 50mg for sleep.
Since 2023 she'd been experiencing strange episodes according to her family.
Here's all the history and symptoms provided about these episodes since 2023 :

• Inner restlessness:Getting EXTREMELY restless (CAN NOT sit still). Inner restlessness that makes her want to slap /kill herself just to escape it. She'd beg her family to kill her so she can escape this.This comes and goes daily during these episodes and is the main symptom. When this comes the other symptoms which I'll mention come along too:
  
• Crying and shouting loudly (simply can not control this to sorta escape)
  
• Excessive anger and snapping at/blaming others for no reason: Involuntarily blame people for the most random and petty things who've been the most helpful and kind.
  
• Very Irritable.
  
• Suicidality (to escape the restlessness)
  
• Guilt and worthlessness
  
• Irrational/Questionable decisions were almost always noted by family members during these periods accompanied with extreme impatience.
  
• Energy: Being fatigued and unmotivated that she can't even move or do stuff. But at the same time having so much Energy to shout so loud and rip her chest open to escape the "agitation".
  

After her lexapro was increased to 20MG her symptoms have been just worsening and worsening including suicidality.
Benzos would do nothing even injectable ones for the agitation.
Then today when she came to me during the severe agitation I immediately thought of a mixed state. Gave her zyprexa and asked to taper down the lexapro.
After she took the zyprexa (sublingual) experienced tremendous relief - felt calm, brain went silent and took a long nap quite refreshing. She wasn't bothered by people talking. She wasn't irritated. She just felt normal. The relief was long lasting.
It makes sense now how being put on lamictal back in 2023 put her into remission and it kept masking Lexapro's rebound effect(in bipolar)
I'm honestly unsure why high dose Lexapro was continued over a year and why high dose benzodiazepines were being used to control the agitation despite having little to no effect.
Sorta leaning towards ECT and later on adjusting the medications because it does seem to be severe and ECT it is quite effective though the patient wants to try the no-ssri approach.
If we do go with the latter approach, I plan on : - Using either VraylaLatuda for their good results in mixed states. Cariprazine is dirt cheap here.

• Stick to Lamotrigine and increase Lithium.
  
• Wellbutrin for depression if it does not or only partially responds to psychotherapy.
  
• Gabapentin.
  

What's your go to treatment plan for mixed states? Is this a mixed state rather than unipolar depression?
A new patient was brought in who was planned for ECT in a week. Though she might actually be bipolar (atleast on the spectrum). She was terrified of ECT.
She had severe depression including suicidality and severe agitation.
She was on Lithium 600mg/day (Started recently), Lamotrigine 200mg, Lexapro 20mg and clonazepam 1mg with quietiapine 50mg for sleep.
Since 2023 she'd been experiencing strange episodes according to her family.
Here's all the history and symptoms provided about these episodes since 2023 :

• Inner restlessness:Getting EXTREMELY restless (CAN NOT sit still). Inner restlessness that makes her want to slap /kill herself just to escape it. She'd beg her family to kill her so she can escape this.This comes and goes daily during these episodes and is the main symptom. When this comes the other symptoms which I'll mention come along too:
  
• Crying and shouting loudly (simply can not control this to sorta escape)
  
• Excessive anger and snapping at/blaming others for no reason: Involuntarily blame people for the most random and petty things who've been the most helpful and kind.
  
• Very Irritable.
  
• Suicidality (to escape the restlessness)
  
• Guilt and worthlessness
  
• Irrational/Questionable decisions were almost always noted by family members during these periods accompanied with extreme impatience.
  
• Energy: Being fatigued and unmotivated that she can't even move or do stuff. But at the same time having so much Energy to shout so loud and rip her chest open to escape the "agitation".
  

After her lexapro was increased to 20MG her symptoms have been just worsening and worsening including suicidality.
Benzos would do nothing even injectable ones for the agitation.
Then today when she came to me during the severe agitation I immediately thought of a mixed state. Gave her zyprexa and asked to taper down the lexapro.
After she took the zyprexa (sublingual) in about 2 hours experienced tremendous relief - felt calm, brain went silent and took a long nap quite refreshing. She wasn't bothered by people talking. She wasn't irritated. She just felt normal. The relief seemed never-ending.
It makes sense now how being put on lamictal back in 2023 put her into remission and it kept masking Lexapro's rebound effect(in bipolar)
I'm honestly unsure why high dose Lexapro was continued over a year and why high dose benzodiazepines were constantly being used to control the agitation despite having little to no effect. Even effexor was started in cross-titration with Lexapro which further worsened her suicidality etc?
Sorta leaning towards ECT and later on adjusting the medications because it does seem to be severe and ECT it is quite effective though the patient wants to try the no-ssri approach.
If we do go with the latter approach, I plan on : - Switch to Vraylar for its good evidence in mixed states. Cariprazine is dirt cheap here.

• Stick to Lamotrigine and increase Lithium.
  
• Wellbutrin for depression if it does not or only partially responds to psychotherapy.
  
• Gabapentin.
  
• Low dose Trazodone for insomnia.
  

What's your go to treatment for mixed states? What about the efficacy of Lithium in mixed bipolarity? Which mood stabilizers seem to work best?

i have bpd, i’ve been taking latuda to treat it for a little bit now, and i’ve been thinking about getting on tenex again, i have a 2mg prescription and my doctors still prescribe me them i just don’t take them anymore. i stopped taking them along time ago but i originally started taking them as a mood stabilizer when i was around 12. (i’m 21 now) i was just wondering if it’s safe to start taking them again while also on latuda, i read that the two combined can drop your blood pressure but i also smoke weed and if anything my genetics have high blood pressure. will i be okay? i’ve been texting my doctor but she hasn’t replied in a while, i just want to start taking them for my irritation & mood swings but after seeing that on google i’m freaked out edit: i forgot to mention i think i should be fine because if anything there was any type of negative interactions between the medications i figure my doctor would have just taken me off of tenex when i started taking latuda

3 years ago I went to see a therapist once suicidal thoughts started to rise, as my mental health was deteriorating.
I was diagnosed with mood disorder being Unipolar.
He prescribed lamictal and I started titrating up to 100 mg and i helped alot.
But recently its cons exceeded its pros,
And that's annoying me so bad, i had perfect hair now i lost that perfection, I used to be the cool but staright As guy but now constant brain fog, can't concentrate at work, while studying even during buying my weekly groceries. I have a brain of a fish. Sometimes I make mistakes speaking my mother language imagine the other 2.
Studying is hell now. Brain fog ( check) Sleeping like a hibernating polar bear for long hours I still have some depression phases every now and then, but they don't last for long.
So long story short, I'm thinking about titrating down till I quit within a month and see how will it go.
So for those who got off it. 1) How were the withdrawals like? 2) did you feel fine after quitting or did the good ol' problems come back crawling? 3) did your memory come back to normal and your brain started functioning as sharp as it used to be?! 4) did your hair grow back 😢?
Thanks.

I’ve (40F) struggled with anxiety my whole life and depression from teens years on. After the birth of my second child 5 years ago I began struggling much worse and can’t seem to dig myself out of it. I’ve tried a number of anti-depressants, mood stabilizers, etc. Also tried spravato treatments.
I recently did testing through a psychologist to try to get to the root of the issue. I was diagnosed with severe anxiety, severe depression, OCD, and avoidant personality. I scores high in one (or maybe several?) of the ADHD tests and abnormal in an ASD test. They did not disgnose these as they felt the root issue could be anxiety and instructed me to seek therapy first before further testing. I get the feeling that they think I’m exaggerating but I truly tried to be honest. More honest than I’ve ever been in fact. But I was in a particularly shitty place mentally during the testing period, so perhaps that muddied the waters.
I’ve seen several therapists, most recently one for the last few months. I just…don’t know how to make it productive. Simply talking about what’s happening in my life is not helping me. So I’m getting discouraged about therapy at this point and where to go from here.
I’d like to know if a particular treatment or therapy could actually make me feel happiness and less hopelessness. I want to find a way to finally feel better. So how do I make a therapy session productive for getting to the root cause of my issues and getting on the right path to feeling better? TIA

Incorporating astrological transits into your decision-making process for relocation and using astrocartography can provide a dynamic and timely perspective on your choices. Here's how to effectively blend these elements:

Understanding Transits in Astrology

Transits are the movements of planets at a given time, which form aspects (angles) with the positions of planets in your natal chart. These transits can activate different areas of your life, indicated by your natal chart, and can influence your experiences, mood, and decisions.

Step 1: Analyzing Current and Upcoming Transits

1. Identify Key Transits: Look for transits from slower-moving planets (like Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, and Pluto) as they have long-lasting effects. For instance, Saturn transiting your 4th house might indicate a period suitable for setting up a stable home environment.
2. Focus on Significant Aspects: Pay attention to major aspects such as conjunctions, oppositions, squares, trines, and sextiles. These aspects will highlight areas of life (represented by houses) and personal characteristics (represented by planets) that are currently under focus or undergoing change.
3. Timing of Transits: Determine the timing of these transits to understand when specific influences will be strongest. This can help you decide the best times for relocation or significant travel.

Step 2: Integrating Transits with Relocation Astrology

1. Relocation Chart: Generate a relocation chart for locations you're considering. This chart relocates your natal chart to a new location, altering the house placements of your natal planets.
2. Overlay Transits: Look at how current transits interact with your relocation chart. For example, if Jupiter (expansion) transits your relocated 10th house (career), it might be an auspicious time for career growth in that location.
3. Evaluate Changes: Assess how the change in house placements in the relocation chart under current transits might influence your experiences in the new location. For instance, a planet moving from a natal 12th house position to a relocated 1st house position could indicate a period of emerging from behind the scenes to taking on a more prominent role in life.

Step 3: Applying Astrocartography

1. Astrocartography Lines: Review your astrocartography map to identify planetary lines running through areas of interest. Each line represents the influence of a particular planet.
2. Transits Over Lines: Consider how current and upcoming transits interact with these planetary lines. For example, if you're experiencing a Pluto transit that aspects your natal Sun, living on or visiting a Sun line might bring profound changes to your self-identity.
3. Weighing Planetary Influences: Determine which planetary influences align best with your goals and current life phase. For instance, a Jupiter line might be beneficial for growth and opportunity, while a Saturn line could be better for structure and stability.

Not everyone will notice natal or relocated transits straight away. And each transit is unique to each person.