How to make lips with keyboard
Everyone deserves a good keyboard
2010.03.24 16:48 Everyone deserves a good keyboard
Non-mouse and non-audio input devices for the discerning fingertip.
2016.11.30 14:08 CustomKeyboards - For customs only!
A subreddit where your kustom with BoW can actually reach top post
2009.02.25 08:00 pallaviwensil r/Spanish: Learn, teach or discuss the 2nd most spoken language by natives
This is the biggest Reddit community dedicated to discussing, teaching, and learning Spanish. Answer or ask questions, share information, stories, and more on themes related to the 2nd most spoken language in the world by native speakers.
2024.05.14 21:26 irageoversmallstuff Credits to "i-waited-for-you" on Tumblr. This really moved me and I hope it may move you too.
Before you self harm in any way, you should probably know what you’re getting into. Before you make that cut, please keep in mind that you will find the pain release, and blood, strangely addictive. You may think to yourself that you’ll be able to control it, that you won’t let it get out of hand. You may think that you can just stick to a few small, shallow cuts here and there that won’t be deep and that will heal quickly and easily. But you’re wrong. You can’t control it, it’s impossible to control. It controls you. It’s an addiction. The cuts will get deeper, they’ll scar. They’ll take weeks to months to heal and years for the scars to actually begin to fade. You’ll find that soon, you depend on it. You can’t go more than a few days without cutting. You’ll go crazy as your skin itches and burns, your hands shake, your head pounds, your vision goes blurry as you try to keep your mind off of it, try to hold back from giving in. But you will. If you think you can limit the cuts to just one area of your body, you better think again. It’ll spread slowly but steadily, like a deadly virus. It’ll spread as you run out of skin, from your wrists to arms, past your elbows, up your shoulders down to your stomach, across your hips and waist and soon will cover your every inch of your legs right down to your ankles. I hope you’re prepared to withdraw from others and live in a constant state of shame and guilt. Even if you have been the most honest person to ever live, you will lie to your friends, family members, everyone around you who you care about. You’ll find yourself jerking back from the touch of someone, as if their fingers and hands have been bathed in a toxic, burning poison. You’ll be terrified that they will feel a scar or cut from beneath the fabric of your shirt or because it just plain hurts so much to simply be touched. Be prepared to become your own worst enemy. You’ll fear yourself, your head, the urges that taunt you every minute of every day. You’ll come to fear the next time you cut because you don’t know how bad it’ll be. Wait for the 10 cuts to turn into 20 then 50 then 100. You’ll be covered in scars and cuts. Your entire life will begin to revolve around your addiction. You’ll constantly be thinking about cutting, covering up your cuts, how you’ll hide your blades, scissors, bobby pins and the other objects you use to destroy your body. And then..the first time that you cut “too deep.” The bleeding won’t stop and you’re gasping, shaking, panicking, fear takes over you. You pray and hope that the bleeding will stop. Your purpose wasn’t to die, you won’t ever go that deep again. Right? Wrong. You’ll go there again, and deeper. But don’t worry. You’ll learn how to take care of your cuts so you don’t have to take a trip to the hospital every night. The better you get at treating your wounds, the worse they become. You’ll lie to yourself and try to justify it when you go to the pharmacy and drug store, finding yourself spending 20, 30, 40 dollars on dressings, gauze, alcohol wipes and sterile strips. You’ll tap your foot impatiently, hoping that no one stares and asks you why you’re buying all of these things. But at the same time..you hope someone asks, so you know they care. Be prepared to spend even more money on an entire new wardrobe. Long sleeved shirts, hoodies, long pants, boots, bracelets, wristbands. The list goes on forever. You’ll keep scanning other people’s bodies for signs of self harm, hoping that there is someone else out there who feels the same way you do. Hoping, praying that they will be like you. But that will never happen. You’ll see clean, uncut, unmarred arms and feel even more alone and ashamed than before. You’ll do a lot of things alone, be prepared to kiss your social life goodbye. You’ll always be doing your laundry, always in private so no one sees the blood stained towels and clothes. You’ll be spending hours scrubbing blood from the bathroom floor, and wiping dried blood off of your keyboard. You won’t be able to make it a day without cutting. You’ll carry an emergency kit in your wallet or purse. A key, safety pin, a needle, a paperclip, even a pencil. Everything around you will become a weapon. It doesn’t matter what it is, as long as it gives you that feeling that sends you reeling. Next thing you know, you’re in the bathroom stall at your school or work, picking open the scab of an old cut with a needle. Say goodbye to all of the things you took for granted. Shorts, sandals, tank tops, swimming in the summer, going to the beach. All of these things will be a far off memory. I hope you like itching and scratching non stop. You will itch and itch and itch. It’ll be so much that it’ll look like you have some sort of flesh eating disease. You will become an expert on your body as you carefully destroy it, taking it apart piece by piece. You will dream of cutting, dreaming of getting caught. It will haunt you day and night, in your dreams and when you are awake. Cutting will take over your life. It now has it’s hold over you, it controls you. You’ll hate yourself, hate yourself for making that first cut that threw you into this vicious, neverending cycle. You’ll wish you never made that first cut. You’ll wish you had read something like this, or that someone had told you what would happen. But as much as you hate your addiction and self harm, you love it and can’t live without it. You’d rather die than go just a few weeks without cutting.
Now, I’ll tell you what the title pertains to. How to self harm. Here is where I tell you how to successfully hurt yourself. So put down what you’re about to use Because you are so much better than this. And believe me, you don’t want to get involved with the monster of self harm, it’s not worth it.
submitted by irageoversmallstuff to selfharmteens [link] [comments]
Now, I’ll tell you what the title pertains to. How to self harm. Here is where I tell you how to successfully hurt yourself. So put down what you’re about to use Because you are so much better than this. And believe me, you don’t want to get involved with the monster of self harm, it’s not worth it.
2024.05.14 21:22 kimmielovesherbf iPhone 11 problem? I’m not sure. Help!
My keyboard keeps stop working and or switching keyboards or the space bottun doesn’t work alsoif you see Typos it’s cause I’m leaving it how it is to Show proof but it closes apps and opens apps or or the speak keyboard thing pops up like auto correct works but nothing else and I can not open the emojis and sometimes I can’t close a app or even open or swipe up from the button of up to open the opened apps and it does not let me do that so I got into contact with Apple and they helped a lot but it’s still the same and they check my phone and I don’t have a virus so it’s not that and I did update my phone and sometimes it works but other times my phone just stops working and then works again I literally even took my screen protector off to see if that’s what it was and i restarted my phone and cleared the settings thing I literally am stunned like am Is my phone rhag fucked do I need to get a new phone? I was rereading this to make sure it made sense and it opened the Camrea rol and closed the app I also can’t open or close my phone at times
Is on most recent update btw
submitted by kimmielovesherbf to iphone [link] [comments]
Is on most recent update btw
2024.05.14 21:19 Jazzlike_Elk_6535 I'm an irredeemable monster who deserves nothing but suffering and a slow painful death.
NSFW Warning
I truly don't know what to do anymore, I'm completely lost.
I'm a 20 year old male with autism and possible OCD.
There are many things I want to talk about so this is going to be really long and unorganised.
From age 18 up until last year, I viewed and masturbated to CSAM, and the way I went about getting hold of it is equally bad, if not worse. I cannot express in words the shame and remorse I feel for this.
I know most of you hate me now and I don't blame you, and I guarantee you I hate myself more for it.
The most confusing part about it is I don't find children attractive, there's no groinal response, urges, desires, arousal, nothing. I don't even take a second glance or stare, the only thing I have is intrusive thoughts. Recently I was sat in the corner of a crowded bus, and since there was nowhere else to sit, three boys, none of which could have been older than 13 sat by me, one next to me, and the other two across from me, to which I felt nothing of that nature whatsoever.
My instincts when I've been around children in recent times is purely parental and protective.
I'd never hurt a child, especially in that way, I'd slit my wrists or set myself on fire before I did that, I might just slit my wrists anyway.
I'd run into a burning building, I'd run out onto a busy road, I'd give my life to save a child's life.
I don't go out of my way to be around children, I find them for the most part irritating, I don't hate them though. Throughout my entire life I preferred the company of adults. I even live across from a playground ffs.
I'm scarred for life by some of the things I saw in those images and videos, how the hell could someone do something like that?! I want to climb through the screen and protect those kids, give them a hug and let them know nothing can hurt them anymore.
I stumbled across an image hosting site when I was 16 whilst trying to find material involving my peers again, and the site hosted lots of cropped images of teens on webcams and older kids on webcams (it was obvious what they were doing), and on the page for the accounts, it usually displayed an email where stuff could be traded, but I didn't pursue that until 2 years later.
I went about acquiring it through sending old images and videos of myself, and in a lot worse way as well.
Starting from 14 up until last year, I very occasionally placed my phone in the bathroom and filmed my friends urinating, this happened definitely less than ten times, and most of them I deleted from everywhere, but I kept one and a screenshot of a few others, I started posting these images, as well as my own nudes, on an old reddit account which was deleted not long after, I made sure to hide their identities while doing this, I enjoyed the attention and compliments I would get, and I loved bigging up my friends and seeing them get compliments.
Then I used this content to acquire the bad stuff years later, including the stuff of me.
I had an Idea that this was considered wrong but I didn't understand how it could have been harmful.
This happened to less than 5 friends, all the content I had I have long since deleted and wiped any access to, and I have no intention to do this again, but the main issue is the fact that copies could have been made of it, and I accidentally sent the uncropped video once. There's the possibility none of this stuff is out there, but it's still vile and repulsive.
One of them was my closest friend, who I had known basically all my life, I broke down to him and told him what I had done and what I believe does me to this awful, reprehensible place, and you know what he did? He told me he forgave me and that some video possibly being out there doesn't phase him and his life isn't ruined at all and it will go on either way.
But he understandably said we can't see each other anymore, that he still loves me, believes I'm a good person and wants me to live a good life and make the world a better place, which was a dream of ours.
It's extra difficult because we were so close, we had experienced so much together, held all the same interests and beliefs, and I loved him only like family could, so the fact I committed this vile act of betrayal rids me with so much shame, and deservedly so. In a way I find it harder to get through because I didn't understand the true consequences of my actions and how this could have affected him and others, it would be less confusing and easier to accept I'm just the lowest form of humanity that way.
I displayed other problematic behaviours from a young age, all to do with boundary issues, I sometimes used to touch my friends when I was 12 but never their actual genitals, and I used to jokingly show my erection to people as well.
The only constant that I knew for certain is wrong is genuine rape and molestation, which is a line I know for certain I could never cross, and never will.
From a very young age (around 3 or 4) my mother would do very inappropriate party tricks around me with her friends late at night when they were drinking, her friends would call me sexy, and as I got older and hit puberty, she started making comments about my bulge and other things despite the fact I hated it and told her so.
When I was 7 I was groomed and molested by an 8 year old boy, I wanted him to help me pass a level on my DS game and he said he'll do it if I have sex with him, me being 7 I didn't understand what that was and with him being older I complied. We were naked during this, he fondled my genitals and got me to do the same to him, he inserted his fingers into my anus as well.
When I was 10, two of my close friends groomed me, they simulated blowjobs on each other and got me to do the same to them.
When I was 11, my 12 year old friend groomed and molested me despite me protesting, he got me to get in my bed with him and he rubbed up against me. Earlier that day he also got me to sit in his lap whilst cuddling me from behind, we were wearing underwear.
When I was 13, that same friend when he was nearly 14 and another friend who was already 14 groomed and molested me in my pool again, I had an erection in the pool and jokingly showed one of them it, and it escalated from there. They both got naked and got me to do so, I protested but eventually gave in to the pressure, they also showed each other their genitals and got me to do the same, later that boy got me to sit in his lap again whilst the older boy rubbed up against me.
There was also just the normal experimenting stuff, one of my friends used to show me his erections and I would do the same.
All of my friends were going through puberty and their bodies were changing and so was mine, which I found incredibly fascinating and arousing, and I had seen most of my friends genitals and some other students genitals throughout growing up, so me being young and autistic, I became very curious.
Kids before finishing Elementary/Primary School were swearing and talking about sex, then as I got older (11) kids were drinking, smoking, doing drugs, talking about masturbation habits and apparently having genuine sex. Then by the time I was 13, there was a lot of students taking nudes, nudes being spread around school and nudes being leaked (including mine, which distressed me for a few days, but only because people knew they were mine, if they were spread around but they didn't know it was me, I wouldn't have cared), kids with condoms and other stuff etc.
I started watching non-pornographic sexual content online (sex scenes from movies, TV shows, games etc) at age 9 which I would genuinely get an erection from watching.
At age 10 I hit puberty (testicles largened) and I started masturbating to non pornographic stuff. Including videos of animals mating. I also tried to find stuff involving my peers and found a fake video of stuff suggestive of that.
At 11 I started to grow pubic hair and had my first ejaculations, as well as discover porn, and I had my first crush which was on a 12 year old boy who was another friend, who I would masturbate to. This crush lasted a number of years, but he was straight so it couldn't go anywhere. This was also the age I started taking nudes and videos of me masturbating.
At 12 I started to grow underarm har and facial hair began to appear on my upper lip, I was watching porn very heavily at this point.
At 13 my voice had broken and I was nearly my full adult height, this was also the age I first masturbated to a non-sexual nude image of a child. As well as videos of stuff like naturism and videos of circumcision (I don't have a pain or gore fetish, I would just blank it out and focus on the genitals.)
By 14 I was my full adult height, I had adult sized ejacualtions and my penis had fully grown. And that is when I started posting my nudes online. To which I would have sexual conversations with adults, not knowing I was setting myself up to be groomed and have something normalised in my head which shouldn't be.
By 15 I was growing facial hair, as well as chest and abdominal hair. And I found a shotacon involving a boy my age having sex with an adult woman, and I would pretend to be him.
At 17, a 19 year old flirted with me and got me into sending nudes to him, and he did the same, which I didn't see as bad and despite it being technically illegal, I still don't.
I also did the same when I was 19 with a 17 year old stranger online, but they were very willing and I didn't pressure them, no personal info was shared between us.
I also messaged a 15 and 14 year old at some point but stopped myself from letting it go any further. And cut them off before anything could be shared.
And when I started watching the CSAM, it was mostly teens 9n webcams that I watched, I was lured into thinking that this content isn't kids being assaulted or anything (which it is) and due to my experiences twisting my view, I thought kids were enjoying it (which they weren't) since I would have had enjoyed it at that age (which I wouldn't have) it wasn't until I saw unmistakable suffering which is when I stopped and vowed to never go there again. It was mostly stuff involving boys, the stuff involving girls I just found too revolting. I wanted to relive those experiences, go back to a time I was happier. It felt safe and comforting.
All of these experiencs warped my views and understanding of things, desensitised me and made me believe things were ok that weren't and that kids aren't as innocent as they are seen to be (which they are). I have never commited rape or an act of molestation and never will, these are acts I've always seen as vile and disgusting.
I've suffered with mental health issues for a long time as well.
I've struggled with feelings of self-hatred and worthlessness since around 9 or 10.
I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety at 13, I've been self harming and suicidal since 15, I've also been attempting suicide since 15.
I've always felt like the odd one out, I always felt like I was the worst at everything, I was the one who was left out of games at school, the one who was always picked last in sports.
I was bullied a lot growing up, by students and occasionally teachers alike.
My mother is narcissistic and has been emotionally and occasionally physically abusive to me since I was 14 (telling me she hates me and that everyone else hates me, tells me how horrible I am, tells me that I should kill myself and do everyone a favour, threatened to stab me in my sleep, hit me on the occasion, bit me, threw things at me, including heavy things and glass, strangled me).
I truly don't know what to do anymore, I'm completely lost.
I'm a 20 year old male with autism and possible OCD.
There are many things I want to talk about so this is going to be really long and unorganised.
From age 18 up until last year, I viewed and masturbated to CSAM, and the way I went about getting hold of it is equally bad, if not worse. I cannot express in words the shame and remorse I feel for this.
I know most of you hate me now and I don't blame you, and I guarantee you I hate myself more for it.
The most confusing part about it is I don't find children attractive, there's no groinal response, urges, desires, arousal, nothing. I don't even take a second glance or stare, the only thing I have is intrusive thoughts. Recently I was sat in the corner of a crowded bus, and since there was nowhere else to sit, three boys, none of which could have been older than 13 sat by me, one next to me, and the other two across from me, to which I felt nothing of that nature whatsoever.
I'm sexually attracted to males 20 and over, and I'm romantically and sexually attracted to females 20 and over, I wouldn't even date an 18 or 19 year old.
My instincts when I've been around children in recent times is purely parental and protective.
I'd never hurt a child, especially in that way, I'd slit my wrists or set myself on fire before I did that, I might just slit my wrists anyway.
I'd run into a burning building, I'd run out onto a busy road, I'd give my life to save a child's life.
I don't go out of my way to be around children, I find them for the most part irritating, I don't hate them though. Throughout my entire life I preferred the company of adults. I even live across from a playground ffs.
I'm scarred for life by some of the things I saw in those images and videos, how the hell could someone do something like that?! I want to climb through the screen and protect those kids, give them a hug and let them know nothing can hurt them anymore.
I stumbled across an image hosting site when I was 16 whilst trying to find material involving my peers again, and the site hosted lots of cropped images of teens on webcams and older kids on webcams (it was obvious what they were doing), and on the page for the accounts, it usually displayed an email where stuff could be traded, but I didn't pursue that until 2 years later.
I went about acquiring it through sending old images and videos of myself, and in a lot worse way as well.
Starting from 14 up until last year, I very occasionally placed my phone in the bathroom and filmed my friends urinating, this happened definitely less than ten times, and most of them I deleted from everywhere, but I kept one and a screenshot of a few others, I started posting these images, as well as my own nudes, on an old reddit account which was deleted not long after, I made sure to hide their identities while doing this, I enjoyed the attention and compliments I would get, and I loved bigging up my friends and seeing them get compliments.
Then I used this content to acquire the bad stuff years later, including the stuff of me.
I had an Idea that this was considered wrong but I didn't understand how it could have been harmful.
This happened to less than 5 friends, all the content I had I have long since deleted and wiped any access to, and I have no intention to do this again, but the main issue is the fact that copies could have been made of it, and I accidentally sent the uncropped video once. There's the possibility none of this stuff is out there, but it's still vile and repulsive.
One of them was my closest friend, who I had known basically all my life, I broke down to him and told him what I had done and what I believe does me to this awful, reprehensible place, and you know what he did? He told me he forgave me and that some video possibly being out there doesn't phase him and his life isn't ruined at all and it will go on either way.
But he understandably said we can't see each other anymore, that he still loves me, believes I'm a good person and wants me to live a good life and make the world a better place, which was a dream of ours.
It's extra difficult because we were so close, we had experienced so much together, held all the same interests and beliefs, and I loved him only like family could, so the fact I committed this vile act of betrayal rids me with so much shame, and deservedly so. In a way I find it harder to get through because I didn't understand the true consequences of my actions and how this could have affected him and others, it would be less confusing and easier to accept I'm just the lowest form of humanity that way.
The other two friends I stopped communicating with, I wiped the account wiped the content from all areas they were stored on, deleted what they were stored, everything, and there is a possibility it's not out their at all.
I displayed other problematic behaviours from a young age, all to do with boundary issues, I sometimes used to touch my friends when I was 12 but never their actual genitals, and I used to jokingly show my erection to people as well.
The only constant that I knew for certain is wrong is genuine rape and molestation, which is a line I know for certain I could never cross, and never will.
From a very young age (around 3 or 4) my mother would do very inappropriate party tricks around me with her friends late at night when they were drinking, her friends would call me sexy, and as I got older and hit puberty, she started making comments about my bulge and other things despite the fact I hated it and told her so.
When I was 7 I was groomed and molested by an 8 year old boy, I wanted him to help me pass a level on my DS game and he said he'll do it if I have sex with him, me being 7 I didn't understand what that was and with him being older I complied. We were naked during this, he fondled my genitals and got me to do the same to him, he inserted his fingers into my anus as well.
When I was 10, two of my close friends groomed me, they simulated blowjobs on each other and got me to do the same to them.
When I was 11, my 12 year old friend groomed and molested me despite me protesting, he got me to get in my bed with him and he rubbed up against me. Earlier that day he also got me to sit in his lap whilst cuddling me from behind, we were wearing underwear.
When I was 13, that same friend when he was nearly 14 and another friend who was already 14 groomed and molested me in my pool again, I had an erection in the pool and jokingly showed one of them it, and it escalated from there. They both got naked and got me to do so, I protested but eventually gave in to the pressure, they also showed each other their genitals and got me to do the same, later that boy got me to sit in his lap again whilst the older boy rubbed up against me.
There was also just the normal experimenting stuff, one of my friends used to show me his erections and I would do the same.
All of my friends were going through puberty and their bodies were changing and so was mine, which I found incredibly fascinating and arousing, and I had seen most of my friends genitals and some other students genitals throughout growing up, so me being young and autistic, I became very curious.
Kids before finishing Elementary/Primary School were swearing and talking about sex, then as I got older (11) kids were drinking, smoking, doing drugs, talking about masturbation habits and apparently having genuine sex. Then by the time I was 13, there was a lot of students taking nudes, nudes being spread around school and nudes being leaked (including mine, which distressed me for a few days, but only because people knew they were mine, if they were spread around but they didn't know it was me, I wouldn't have cared), kids with condoms and other stuff etc.
I started watching non-pornographic sexual content online (sex scenes from movies, TV shows, games etc) at age 9 which I would genuinely get an erection from watching.
At age 10 I hit puberty (testicles largened) and I started masturbating to non pornographic stuff. Including videos of animals mating. I also tried to find stuff involving my peers and found a fake video of stuff suggestive of that.
At 11 I started to grow pubic hair and had my first ejaculations, as well as discover porn, there was also an image I masturbated to which depicted a boy of my age giving oral to a man, and I had my first crush which was on a 12 year old boy who was another friend, who I would masturbate to. This crush lasted a number of years, but he was straight so it couldn't go anywhere. This was also the age I started taking nudes and videos of me masturbating.
At 12 I started to grow underarm har and facial hair began to appear on my upper lip, I was watching porn very heavily at this point.
At 13 my voice had broken and I was nearly my full adult height, this was also the age I first masturbated to a non-sexual nude image of a child. As well as videos of stuff like naturism and videos of circumcision (I don't have a pain or gore fetish, I would just blank it out and focus on the genitals.)
By 14 I was my full adult height, I had adult sized ejacualtions and my penis had fully grown. And that is when I started posting my nudes online. To which I would have sexual conversations with adults, not knowing I was setting myself up to be groomed and have something normalised in my head which shouldn't be.
By 15 I was growing facial hair, as well as chest and abdominal hair. And I found a shotacon involving a boy my age having sex with an adult woman, and I would pretend to be him.
At 17, a 19 year old flirted with me and got me into sending nudes to him, and he did the same, which I didn't see as bad and despite it being technically illegal, I still don't.
I also did the same when I was 19 with a 17 year old stranger online, but they were very willing and I didn't pressure them, no personal info was shared between us.
I also messaged a 15 and 14 year old at some point but stopped myself from letting it go any further. And cut them off before anything could be shared, or any messages could be exchanged for that matter.
And when I started watching the CSAM, it was mostly teens 9n webcams that I watched, I was lured into thinking that this content isn't kids being assaulted or anything (which it is) and due to my experiences twisting my view, I thought kids were enjoying it (which they weren't) since I would have had enjoyed it at that age (which I wouldn't have), it wasn't until I saw unmistakable suffering which is when I stopped and vowed to never go there again. It was mostly stuff involving boys, the stuff involving girls I just found too revolting. I wanted to relive those experiences, go back to a time I was happier. It felt safe and comforting. It was relatable.
All of these experiencs warped my views and understanding of things, desensitised me and made me believe things were ok that weren't and that kids aren't as innocent as they are seen to be (which they are). I have never commited rape or an act of molestation and never will, these are acts I've always seen as vile and disgusting.
I've suffered with mental health issues for a long time as well.
I've struggled with feelings of self-hatred and worthlessness since around 9 or 10.
I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety at 13, I've been self harming and suicidal since 15, I've also been attempting suicide since 15.
I've always felt like the odd one out, I always felt like I was the worst at everything, I was the one who was left out of games at school, the one who was always picked last in sports.
I was bullied a lot growing up, by students and occasionally teachers alike, and even my boss at my first job.
My mother is a heavy drinker, narcissistic and has been emotionally and occasionally physically abusive to me since I was 14 (telling me she hates me and that everyone else hates me, tells me how horrible I am, tells me that I should kill myself and do everyone a favour, threatened to stab me in my sleep, hit me on the occasion, bit me, threw things at me, including heavy things and glass, strangled me). There was also manipulation tactics like gaslighting, she alienated me from others by telling her friends and family how awful I was. Pushed me into meltdowns and got me to lash out, to which she called the police and got me arrested and made me look like the bad one on multiple occasions.
My father was a drug addict who died when I was 14, I saw him less than ten times my whole life, he grew drugs in my room when I was an infant, my most distinct memory is him coming to my house very late one night when I was around 9 or 10 talking about demons and bad spirits.
Addiction runs in my family (my father's father is an equally heavy drinker, his mother is a drug addict who ran a brothel), so the addictive tendencies have been past down to me.
I probably was addicted to porn by 13, and had been feeding it for years without knowing it.
My adopted grandfather died when I was 4, and my adopted grandmother (which I lived with from birth) who was my guiding light, died less than a week before my dad did.
The only father figure I really had (who was an alcoholic but otherwise very good with me) was my mother's partner who she met when I was 6, and he died when I was 8.
I was also very close to my mother's best friend, who had been more of a mother to me than my actual one had been some time died when I was 17.
My mother had an abusive ex who stalked her and threatened to set fire to the house, who also left ranting letters and stood in the back garden at night, so we lived in fear of stuff like that for over a year from when I was 12 through 13.
She also had an abusive lodger who was an even heavier drinker than she is, so from when I was 14 through 16 I witnessed them physically fight, both get arrested and on a few occasions I had to defend her from him.
Many of my friends have betrayed me over the years (I know I'm one to talk) but when this started to happen I would have never dreamed of betraying anyone, personal stuff was shared about me which I trusted them with, there was a lot of bad talking about me without me knowing. My toe closest friend turned on me at age 12 and isolated me from my other friends, I blamed myself at the time which I why I moved schools at 13 since I thought I was just making everyone miserable.
I didn't get diagnosed with autism until I was q9 despite trying to get it since I was 12, it hurt knowing I had been paying my whole life for being different, feeling ashamed of who I am (and rightly so now really), wondering why what I said was offensive, why I didn't understandfulky why this was wrong, why I was so sensitive to jokes, why I took e everyhing literally, why I made impulsive and reckless decisions without understanding the consequences of them.
I was never considered attractive and was ridiculed for it (girls used to jokingly flirt with me to torment me at school). I'm 5'6, always have struggled with weight, hairline started receding at 16, eczema so my skin is always red, dry and flaky, really bad diastema and acid reflux which means it's really hard to make my breath smell nice and my teeth are very worn because of it. I have had sex with someone who was older than me and we were both consenting adults, and we were both very respectful of boundaries.
I was also desensitised to other things slide gore and violence, I played a lot of violent video games when I was a kid, my mother is really into controversial shock movies (she got me to watch Cannibal Holocaust with her when I was 11).
The worst part about all of this is the fact all my friends who I love would hate me if they knew about what I've done so, none of them would trust me anymore or respect me, which is what friendships are all about right? So in a way they feel strange, they feel fake.
I could never find a relationship or true love because nobody wants to date a serial sex offender.
I hate knowing the fact I'm a sex offender, it's eating me alive.
I'm not registered and there is no real proof of what I did, so I can't turn myself in or anything.
I want to do good in the world, I have so much love to give, but it feels wrong me helping people because it feels like there is a sinister undertone to everything I do.
I've always enjoyed being charitable, I love giving money to the homeless or putting change in a donations box.
I feel guilty whenever I feel hapoy since I don't deserve to be, the only things that I enjoy now are food and playing video games, it's the only job I get out of day to day life.
The only fate I deserve is being stabbed to death in prison or something.
All I want is to be loved and accepted despite my flaws and mistakes, but I never could be.
The only other person I've told is my mother, who has been supportive.
I've been on antidepressants since 18 and I'm trying to get therapy, but I'm not hoping or expecting anything good will happen from this. I've been in and out of therapy since I was 11.
I had dreams, I had aspirations, I wanted to change the world for the better, I wanted to have a son, not to hurt him, but so he doesn't end up like me, but I reliase that is not possible. I don't deserve to be around children.
I hate keeping secrets, but I have no choice but to keep this one.
I want to identify with good people, but I can't.
Every good thing I do is invalidated now.
I forgive everyone who has wronged me in anyway, since I'm worse than them.
I just pray I can go out doing good, doing the right thing.
I am no better than Jimmy Saville, Ian Watkins or any of them types of people.
If you want to motivate me to end it all, feel free.
If you have read through all of this, thank you.
submitted by Jazzlike_Elk_6535 to confessions [link] [comments]
I truly don't know what to do anymore, I'm completely lost.
I'm a 20 year old male with autism and possible OCD.
There are many things I want to talk about so this is going to be really long and unorganised.
From age 18 up until last year, I viewed and masturbated to CSAM, and the way I went about getting hold of it is equally bad, if not worse. I cannot express in words the shame and remorse I feel for this.
I know most of you hate me now and I don't blame you, and I guarantee you I hate myself more for it.
The most confusing part about it is I don't find children attractive, there's no groinal response, urges, desires, arousal, nothing. I don't even take a second glance or stare, the only thing I have is intrusive thoughts. Recently I was sat in the corner of a crowded bus, and since there was nowhere else to sit, three boys, none of which could have been older than 13 sat by me, one next to me, and the other two across from me, to which I felt nothing of that nature whatsoever.
My instincts when I've been around children in recent times is purely parental and protective.
I'd never hurt a child, especially in that way, I'd slit my wrists or set myself on fire before I did that, I might just slit my wrists anyway.
I'd run into a burning building, I'd run out onto a busy road, I'd give my life to save a child's life.
I don't go out of my way to be around children, I find them for the most part irritating, I don't hate them though. Throughout my entire life I preferred the company of adults. I even live across from a playground ffs.
I'm scarred for life by some of the things I saw in those images and videos, how the hell could someone do something like that?! I want to climb through the screen and protect those kids, give them a hug and let them know nothing can hurt them anymore.
I stumbled across an image hosting site when I was 16 whilst trying to find material involving my peers again, and the site hosted lots of cropped images of teens on webcams and older kids on webcams (it was obvious what they were doing), and on the page for the accounts, it usually displayed an email where stuff could be traded, but I didn't pursue that until 2 years later.
I went about acquiring it through sending old images and videos of myself, and in a lot worse way as well.
Starting from 14 up until last year, I very occasionally placed my phone in the bathroom and filmed my friends urinating, this happened definitely less than ten times, and most of them I deleted from everywhere, but I kept one and a screenshot of a few others, I started posting these images, as well as my own nudes, on an old reddit account which was deleted not long after, I made sure to hide their identities while doing this, I enjoyed the attention and compliments I would get, and I loved bigging up my friends and seeing them get compliments.
Then I used this content to acquire the bad stuff years later, including the stuff of me.
I had an Idea that this was considered wrong but I didn't understand how it could have been harmful.
This happened to less than 5 friends, all the content I had I have long since deleted and wiped any access to, and I have no intention to do this again, but the main issue is the fact that copies could have been made of it, and I accidentally sent the uncropped video once. There's the possibility none of this stuff is out there, but it's still vile and repulsive.
One of them was my closest friend, who I had known basically all my life, I broke down to him and told him what I had done and what I believe does me to this awful, reprehensible place, and you know what he did? He told me he forgave me and that some video possibly being out there doesn't phase him and his life isn't ruined at all and it will go on either way.
But he understandably said we can't see each other anymore, that he still loves me, believes I'm a good person and wants me to live a good life and make the world a better place, which was a dream of ours.
It's extra difficult because we were so close, we had experienced so much together, held all the same interests and beliefs, and I loved him only like family could, so the fact I committed this vile act of betrayal rids me with so much shame, and deservedly so. In a way I find it harder to get through because I didn't understand the true consequences of my actions and how this could have affected him and others, it would be less confusing and easier to accept I'm just the lowest form of humanity that way.
I displayed other problematic behaviours from a young age, all to do with boundary issues, I sometimes used to touch my friends when I was 12 but never their actual genitals, and I used to jokingly show my erection to people as well.
The only constant that I knew for certain is wrong is genuine rape and molestation, which is a line I know for certain I could never cross, and never will.
From a very young age (around 3 or 4) my mother would do very inappropriate party tricks around me with her friends late at night when they were drinking, her friends would call me sexy, and as I got older and hit puberty, she started making comments about my bulge and other things despite the fact I hated it and told her so.
When I was 7 I was groomed and molested by an 8 year old boy, I wanted him to help me pass a level on my DS game and he said he'll do it if I have sex with him, me being 7 I didn't understand what that was and with him being older I complied. We were naked during this, he fondled my genitals and got me to do the same to him, he inserted his fingers into my anus as well.
When I was 10, two of my close friends groomed me, they simulated blowjobs on each other and got me to do the same to them.
When I was 11, my 12 year old friend groomed and molested me despite me protesting, he got me to get in my bed with him and he rubbed up against me. Earlier that day he also got me to sit in his lap whilst cuddling me from behind, we were wearing underwear.
When I was 13, that same friend when he was nearly 14 and another friend who was already 14 groomed and molested me in my pool again, I had an erection in the pool and jokingly showed one of them it, and it escalated from there. They both got naked and got me to do so, I protested but eventually gave in to the pressure, they also showed each other their genitals and got me to do the same, later that boy got me to sit in his lap again whilst the older boy rubbed up against me.
There was also just the normal experimenting stuff, one of my friends used to show me his erections and I would do the same.
All of my friends were going through puberty and their bodies were changing and so was mine, which I found incredibly fascinating and arousing, and I had seen most of my friends genitals and some other students genitals throughout growing up, so me being young and autistic, I became very curious.
Kids before finishing Elementary/Primary School were swearing and talking about sex, then as I got older (11) kids were drinking, smoking, doing drugs, talking about masturbation habits and apparently having genuine sex. Then by the time I was 13, there was a lot of students taking nudes, nudes being spread around school and nudes being leaked (including mine, which distressed me for a few days, but only because people knew they were mine, if they were spread around but they didn't know it was me, I wouldn't have cared), kids with condoms and other stuff etc.
I started watching non-pornographic sexual content online (sex scenes from movies, TV shows, games etc) at age 9 which I would genuinely get an erection from watching.
At age 10 I hit puberty (testicles largened) and I started masturbating to non pornographic stuff. Including videos of animals mating. I also tried to find stuff involving my peers and found a fake video of stuff suggestive of that.
At 11 I started to grow pubic hair and had my first ejaculations, as well as discover porn, and I had my first crush which was on a 12 year old boy who was another friend, who I would masturbate to. This crush lasted a number of years, but he was straight so it couldn't go anywhere. This was also the age I started taking nudes and videos of me masturbating.
At 12 I started to grow underarm har and facial hair began to appear on my upper lip, I was watching porn very heavily at this point.
At 13 my voice had broken and I was nearly my full adult height, this was also the age I first masturbated to a non-sexual nude image of a child. As well as videos of stuff like naturism and videos of circumcision (I don't have a pain or gore fetish, I would just blank it out and focus on the genitals.)
By 14 I was my full adult height, I had adult sized ejacualtions and my penis had fully grown. And that is when I started posting my nudes online. To which I would have sexual conversations with adults, not knowing I was setting myself up to be groomed and have something normalised in my head which shouldn't be.
By 15 I was growing facial hair, as well as chest and abdominal hair. And I found a shotacon involving a boy my age having sex with an adult woman, and I would pretend to be him.
At 17, a 19 year old flirted with me and got me into sending nudes to him, and he did the same, which I didn't see as bad and despite it being technically illegal, I still don't.
I also did the same when I was 19 with a 17 year old stranger online, but they were very willing and I didn't pressure them, no personal info was shared between us.
I also messaged a 15 and 14 year old at some point but stopped myself from letting it go any further. And cut them off before anything could be shared.
And when I started watching the CSAM, it was mostly teens 9n webcams that I watched, I was lured into thinking that this content isn't kids being assaulted or anything (which it is) and due to my experiences twisting my view, I thought kids were enjoying it (which they weren't) since I would have had enjoyed it at that age (which I wouldn't have) it wasn't until I saw unmistakable suffering which is when I stopped and vowed to never go there again. It was mostly stuff involving boys, the stuff involving girls I just found too revolting. I wanted to relive those experiences, go back to a time I was happier. It felt safe and comforting.
All of these experiencs warped my views and understanding of things, desensitised me and made me believe things were ok that weren't and that kids aren't as innocent as they are seen to be (which they are). I have never commited rape or an act of molestation and never will, these are acts I've always seen as vile and disgusting.
I've suffered with mental health issues for a long time as well.
I've struggled with feelings of self-hatred and worthlessness since around 9 or 10.
I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety at 13, I've been self harming and suicidal since 15, I've also been attempting suicide since 15.
I've always felt like the odd one out, I always felt like I was the worst at everything, I was the one who was left out of games at school, the one who was always picked last in sports.
I was bullied a lot growing up, by students and occasionally teachers alike.
My mother is narcissistic and has been emotionally and occasionally physically abusive to me since I was 14 (telling me she hates me and that everyone else hates me, tells me how horrible I am, tells me that I should kill myself and do everyone a favour, threatened to stab me in my sleep, hit me on the occasion, bit me, threw things at me, including heavy things and glass, strangled me).
I truly don't know what to do anymore, I'm completely lost.
I'm a 20 year old male with autism and possible OCD.
There are many things I want to talk about so this is going to be really long and unorganised.
From age 18 up until last year, I viewed and masturbated to CSAM, and the way I went about getting hold of it is equally bad, if not worse. I cannot express in words the shame and remorse I feel for this.
I know most of you hate me now and I don't blame you, and I guarantee you I hate myself more for it.
The most confusing part about it is I don't find children attractive, there's no groinal response, urges, desires, arousal, nothing. I don't even take a second glance or stare, the only thing I have is intrusive thoughts. Recently I was sat in the corner of a crowded bus, and since there was nowhere else to sit, three boys, none of which could have been older than 13 sat by me, one next to me, and the other two across from me, to which I felt nothing of that nature whatsoever.
I'm sexually attracted to males 20 and over, and I'm romantically and sexually attracted to females 20 and over, I wouldn't even date an 18 or 19 year old.
My instincts when I've been around children in recent times is purely parental and protective.
I'd never hurt a child, especially in that way, I'd slit my wrists or set myself on fire before I did that, I might just slit my wrists anyway.
I'd run into a burning building, I'd run out onto a busy road, I'd give my life to save a child's life.
I don't go out of my way to be around children, I find them for the most part irritating, I don't hate them though. Throughout my entire life I preferred the company of adults. I even live across from a playground ffs.
I'm scarred for life by some of the things I saw in those images and videos, how the hell could someone do something like that?! I want to climb through the screen and protect those kids, give them a hug and let them know nothing can hurt them anymore.
I stumbled across an image hosting site when I was 16 whilst trying to find material involving my peers again, and the site hosted lots of cropped images of teens on webcams and older kids on webcams (it was obvious what they were doing), and on the page for the accounts, it usually displayed an email where stuff could be traded, but I didn't pursue that until 2 years later.
I went about acquiring it through sending old images and videos of myself, and in a lot worse way as well.
Starting from 14 up until last year, I very occasionally placed my phone in the bathroom and filmed my friends urinating, this happened definitely less than ten times, and most of them I deleted from everywhere, but I kept one and a screenshot of a few others, I started posting these images, as well as my own nudes, on an old reddit account which was deleted not long after, I made sure to hide their identities while doing this, I enjoyed the attention and compliments I would get, and I loved bigging up my friends and seeing them get compliments.
Then I used this content to acquire the bad stuff years later, including the stuff of me.
I had an Idea that this was considered wrong but I didn't understand how it could have been harmful.
This happened to less than 5 friends, all the content I had I have long since deleted and wiped any access to, and I have no intention to do this again, but the main issue is the fact that copies could have been made of it, and I accidentally sent the uncropped video once. There's the possibility none of this stuff is out there, but it's still vile and repulsive.
One of them was my closest friend, who I had known basically all my life, I broke down to him and told him what I had done and what I believe does me to this awful, reprehensible place, and you know what he did? He told me he forgave me and that some video possibly being out there doesn't phase him and his life isn't ruined at all and it will go on either way.
But he understandably said we can't see each other anymore, that he still loves me, believes I'm a good person and wants me to live a good life and make the world a better place, which was a dream of ours.
It's extra difficult because we were so close, we had experienced so much together, held all the same interests and beliefs, and I loved him only like family could, so the fact I committed this vile act of betrayal rids me with so much shame, and deservedly so. In a way I find it harder to get through because I didn't understand the true consequences of my actions and how this could have affected him and others, it would be less confusing and easier to accept I'm just the lowest form of humanity that way.
The other two friends I stopped communicating with, I wiped the account wiped the content from all areas they were stored on, deleted what they were stored, everything, and there is a possibility it's not out their at all.
I displayed other problematic behaviours from a young age, all to do with boundary issues, I sometimes used to touch my friends when I was 12 but never their actual genitals, and I used to jokingly show my erection to people as well.
The only constant that I knew for certain is wrong is genuine rape and molestation, which is a line I know for certain I could never cross, and never will.
From a very young age (around 3 or 4) my mother would do very inappropriate party tricks around me with her friends late at night when they were drinking, her friends would call me sexy, and as I got older and hit puberty, she started making comments about my bulge and other things despite the fact I hated it and told her so.
When I was 7 I was groomed and molested by an 8 year old boy, I wanted him to help me pass a level on my DS game and he said he'll do it if I have sex with him, me being 7 I didn't understand what that was and with him being older I complied. We were naked during this, he fondled my genitals and got me to do the same to him, he inserted his fingers into my anus as well.
When I was 10, two of my close friends groomed me, they simulated blowjobs on each other and got me to do the same to them.
When I was 11, my 12 year old friend groomed and molested me despite me protesting, he got me to get in my bed with him and he rubbed up against me. Earlier that day he also got me to sit in his lap whilst cuddling me from behind, we were wearing underwear.
When I was 13, that same friend when he was nearly 14 and another friend who was already 14 groomed and molested me in my pool again, I had an erection in the pool and jokingly showed one of them it, and it escalated from there. They both got naked and got me to do so, I protested but eventually gave in to the pressure, they also showed each other their genitals and got me to do the same, later that boy got me to sit in his lap again whilst the older boy rubbed up against me.
There was also just the normal experimenting stuff, one of my friends used to show me his erections and I would do the same.
All of my friends were going through puberty and their bodies were changing and so was mine, which I found incredibly fascinating and arousing, and I had seen most of my friends genitals and some other students genitals throughout growing up, so me being young and autistic, I became very curious.
Kids before finishing Elementary/Primary School were swearing and talking about sex, then as I got older (11) kids were drinking, smoking, doing drugs, talking about masturbation habits and apparently having genuine sex. Then by the time I was 13, there was a lot of students taking nudes, nudes being spread around school and nudes being leaked (including mine, which distressed me for a few days, but only because people knew they were mine, if they were spread around but they didn't know it was me, I wouldn't have cared), kids with condoms and other stuff etc.
I started watching non-pornographic sexual content online (sex scenes from movies, TV shows, games etc) at age 9 which I would genuinely get an erection from watching.
At age 10 I hit puberty (testicles largened) and I started masturbating to non pornographic stuff. Including videos of animals mating. I also tried to find stuff involving my peers and found a fake video of stuff suggestive of that.
At 11 I started to grow pubic hair and had my first ejaculations, as well as discover porn, there was also an image I masturbated to which depicted a boy of my age giving oral to a man, and I had my first crush which was on a 12 year old boy who was another friend, who I would masturbate to. This crush lasted a number of years, but he was straight so it couldn't go anywhere. This was also the age I started taking nudes and videos of me masturbating.
At 12 I started to grow underarm har and facial hair began to appear on my upper lip, I was watching porn very heavily at this point.
At 13 my voice had broken and I was nearly my full adult height, this was also the age I first masturbated to a non-sexual nude image of a child. As well as videos of stuff like naturism and videos of circumcision (I don't have a pain or gore fetish, I would just blank it out and focus on the genitals.)
By 14 I was my full adult height, I had adult sized ejacualtions and my penis had fully grown. And that is when I started posting my nudes online. To which I would have sexual conversations with adults, not knowing I was setting myself up to be groomed and have something normalised in my head which shouldn't be.
By 15 I was growing facial hair, as well as chest and abdominal hair. And I found a shotacon involving a boy my age having sex with an adult woman, and I would pretend to be him.
At 17, a 19 year old flirted with me and got me into sending nudes to him, and he did the same, which I didn't see as bad and despite it being technically illegal, I still don't.
I also did the same when I was 19 with a 17 year old stranger online, but they were very willing and I didn't pressure them, no personal info was shared between us.
I also messaged a 15 and 14 year old at some point but stopped myself from letting it go any further. And cut them off before anything could be shared, or any messages could be exchanged for that matter.
And when I started watching the CSAM, it was mostly teens 9n webcams that I watched, I was lured into thinking that this content isn't kids being assaulted or anything (which it is) and due to my experiences twisting my view, I thought kids were enjoying it (which they weren't) since I would have had enjoyed it at that age (which I wouldn't have), it wasn't until I saw unmistakable suffering which is when I stopped and vowed to never go there again. It was mostly stuff involving boys, the stuff involving girls I just found too revolting. I wanted to relive those experiences, go back to a time I was happier. It felt safe and comforting. It was relatable.
All of these experiencs warped my views and understanding of things, desensitised me and made me believe things were ok that weren't and that kids aren't as innocent as they are seen to be (which they are). I have never commited rape or an act of molestation and never will, these are acts I've always seen as vile and disgusting.
I've suffered with mental health issues for a long time as well.
I've struggled with feelings of self-hatred and worthlessness since around 9 or 10.
I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety at 13, I've been self harming and suicidal since 15, I've also been attempting suicide since 15.
I've always felt like the odd one out, I always felt like I was the worst at everything, I was the one who was left out of games at school, the one who was always picked last in sports.
I was bullied a lot growing up, by students and occasionally teachers alike, and even my boss at my first job.
My mother is a heavy drinker, narcissistic and has been emotionally and occasionally physically abusive to me since I was 14 (telling me she hates me and that everyone else hates me, tells me how horrible I am, tells me that I should kill myself and do everyone a favour, threatened to stab me in my sleep, hit me on the occasion, bit me, threw things at me, including heavy things and glass, strangled me). There was also manipulation tactics like gaslighting, she alienated me from others by telling her friends and family how awful I was. Pushed me into meltdowns and got me to lash out, to which she called the police and got me arrested and made me look like the bad one on multiple occasions.
My father was a drug addict who died when I was 14, I saw him less than ten times my whole life, he grew drugs in my room when I was an infant, my most distinct memory is him coming to my house very late one night when I was around 9 or 10 talking about demons and bad spirits.
Addiction runs in my family (my father's father is an equally heavy drinker, his mother is a drug addict who ran a brothel), so the addictive tendencies have been past down to me.
I probably was addicted to porn by 13, and had been feeding it for years without knowing it.
My adopted grandfather died when I was 4, and my adopted grandmother (which I lived with from birth) who was my guiding light, died less than a week before my dad did.
The only father figure I really had (who was an alcoholic but otherwise very good with me) was my mother's partner who she met when I was 6, and he died when I was 8.
I was also very close to my mother's best friend, who had been more of a mother to me than my actual one had been some time died when I was 17.
My mother had an abusive ex who stalked her and threatened to set fire to the house, who also left ranting letters and stood in the back garden at night, so we lived in fear of stuff like that for over a year from when I was 12 through 13.
She also had an abusive lodger who was an even heavier drinker than she is, so from when I was 14 through 16 I witnessed them physically fight, both get arrested and on a few occasions I had to defend her from him.
Many of my friends have betrayed me over the years (I know I'm one to talk) but when this started to happen I would have never dreamed of betraying anyone, personal stuff was shared about me which I trusted them with, there was a lot of bad talking about me without me knowing. My toe closest friend turned on me at age 12 and isolated me from my other friends, I blamed myself at the time which I why I moved schools at 13 since I thought I was just making everyone miserable.
I didn't get diagnosed with autism until I was q9 despite trying to get it since I was 12, it hurt knowing I had been paying my whole life for being different, feeling ashamed of who I am (and rightly so now really), wondering why what I said was offensive, why I didn't understandfulky why this was wrong, why I was so sensitive to jokes, why I took e everyhing literally, why I made impulsive and reckless decisions without understanding the consequences of them.
I was never considered attractive and was ridiculed for it (girls used to jokingly flirt with me to torment me at school). I'm 5'6, always have struggled with weight, hairline started receding at 16, eczema so my skin is always red, dry and flaky, really bad diastema and acid reflux which means it's really hard to make my breath smell nice and my teeth are very worn because of it. I have had sex with someone who was older than me and we were both consenting adults, and we were both very respectful of boundaries.
I was also desensitised to other things slide gore and violence, I played a lot of violent video games when I was a kid, my mother is really into controversial shock movies (she got me to watch Cannibal Holocaust with her when I was 11).
The worst part about all of this is the fact all my friends who I love would hate me if they knew about what I've done so, none of them would trust me anymore or respect me, which is what friendships are all about right? So in a way they feel strange, they feel fake.
I could never find a relationship or true love because nobody wants to date a serial sex offender.
I hate knowing the fact I'm a sex offender, it's eating me alive.
I'm not registered and there is no real proof of what I did, so I can't turn myself in or anything.
I want to do good in the world, I have so much love to give, but it feels wrong me helping people because it feels like there is a sinister undertone to everything I do.
I've always enjoyed being charitable, I love giving money to the homeless or putting change in a donations box.
I feel guilty whenever I feel hapoy since I don't deserve to be, the only things that I enjoy now are food and playing video games, it's the only job I get out of day to day life.
The only fate I deserve is being stabbed to death in prison or something.
All I want is to be loved and accepted despite my flaws and mistakes, but I never could be.
The only other person I've told is my mother, who has been supportive.
I've been on antidepressants since 18 and I'm trying to get therapy, but I'm not hoping or expecting anything good will happen from this. I've been in and out of therapy since I was 11.
I had dreams, I had aspirations, I wanted to change the world for the better, I wanted to have a son, not to hurt him, but so he doesn't end up like me, but I reliase that is not possible. I don't deserve to be around children.
I hate keeping secrets, but I have no choice but to keep this one.
I want to identify with good people, but I can't.
Every good thing I do is invalidated now.
I forgive everyone who has wronged me in anyway, since I'm worse than them.
I just pray I can go out doing good, doing the right thing.
I am no better than Jimmy Saville, Ian Watkins or any of them types of people.
If you want to motivate me to end it all, feel free.
If you have read through all of this, thank you.
2024.05.14 21:18 brandonoh2340 Demon Child
May 30, 2006 (Coleman Household)
Officer Jones escorted Dre to The Coleman household in cuffs only releasing them once they were inside.
(Officer Jones) Ms.Coleman the owner of the store decided not to press charges because your son is still a minor, but next time he might not be so lucky. I suggest he spend more time with father and less time with these thugs in the streets.
(Ms.Coleman) Thank you officer Jones, have a blessed day. See you on Sunday.
The officer leaves as Dre sits on the couch unwilling to meet his mother’s eyes.
(Ms.Coleman) Welp Andre I would like to say I’m surprised but we both know that would be a lie. These days you spend more time in handcuffs then in school. Running around this city with those boys like some demon!
Dre continued to look away.
(Dre) Don’t call me that.
(Ms.Coleman) Well what else should I call you? All those years of Bible classes I took you to surely didn’t make you into no saint. Boy all I’ve ever done is try and keep you on a righteous path and you have done nothing but fight me every step of the way. You’re just like your no good daddy, just born to be wicked. You wouldn’t know God’s presence if he was standing in front of you.
(Dre) Isaiah 29:13
(Ms.Coleman) Excuse me?
Dre looked up tears in his eyes.
(Dre) You honor God with your lips but your heart is far from him. All you have ever done is call me a no good demon just like my dad! Told me everyday I would be nothing and a bum just like him! Mom this is a nigga I’ve never even met!
(Ms.Coleman) I don’t know how you talk out there but you will watch your mouth in my house!
(Dre) See that’s what I’m talking about! You think it’s okay to call your son a demon but I’m a sinner if I say nigga! Mom you want me to know God when you don’t. You just know that church you go to.
(Ms.Coleman) …Well don’t talk back to me in my house! Everything I do for you I’ve done by myself! Show some gratitude for once in your life!
(Dre) It’s not my fault you let some random nigga hit and had to raise me alone! Stop blaming me for that shit!
Ms.Coleman mouth opened wide as she went to the door and swung it open.
( Ms.Coleman) Get out my house and don’t come back Lucifer.
(Dre) Fuck it!
Dre walked out slamming the door behind him!
submitted by brandonoh2340 to PowerTV [link] [comments]
Officer Jones escorted Dre to The Coleman household in cuffs only releasing them once they were inside.
(Officer Jones) Ms.Coleman the owner of the store decided not to press charges because your son is still a minor, but next time he might not be so lucky. I suggest he spend more time with father and less time with these thugs in the streets.
(Ms.Coleman) Thank you officer Jones, have a blessed day. See you on Sunday.
The officer leaves as Dre sits on the couch unwilling to meet his mother’s eyes.
(Ms.Coleman) Welp Andre I would like to say I’m surprised but we both know that would be a lie. These days you spend more time in handcuffs then in school. Running around this city with those boys like some demon!
Dre continued to look away.
(Dre) Don’t call me that.
(Ms.Coleman) Well what else should I call you? All those years of Bible classes I took you to surely didn’t make you into no saint. Boy all I’ve ever done is try and keep you on a righteous path and you have done nothing but fight me every step of the way. You’re just like your no good daddy, just born to be wicked. You wouldn’t know God’s presence if he was standing in front of you.
(Dre) Isaiah 29:13
(Ms.Coleman) Excuse me?
Dre looked up tears in his eyes.
(Dre) You honor God with your lips but your heart is far from him. All you have ever done is call me a no good demon just like my dad! Told me everyday I would be nothing and a bum just like him! Mom this is a nigga I’ve never even met!
(Ms.Coleman) I don’t know how you talk out there but you will watch your mouth in my house!
(Dre) See that’s what I’m talking about! You think it’s okay to call your son a demon but I’m a sinner if I say nigga! Mom you want me to know God when you don’t. You just know that church you go to.
(Ms.Coleman) …Well don’t talk back to me in my house! Everything I do for you I’ve done by myself! Show some gratitude for once in your life!
(Dre) It’s not my fault you let some random nigga hit and had to raise me alone! Stop blaming me for that shit!
Ms.Coleman mouth opened wide as she went to the door and swung it open.
( Ms.Coleman) Get out my house and don’t come back Lucifer.
(Dre) Fuck it!
Dre walked out slamming the door behind him!
2024.05.14 21:16 MyPensKnowMySecrets Sold Out Mechanical Keyboard Score!!
I swear this Goodwill by my apartment is amazing. Last week found a beautiful electric typewriter, this week found a pink mechanical keyboard that doesn't make my ears beled. Turns out it's sold out, originally retails for 29.00 or so, and I got it for 6. The things people just donate!!!
There's nothing more fun to me than getting something I really love at the thrift store only to later find out it was a super good deal. That was how I got a lovely dress in my size for 20 bucks that originally retails for 300. It's nice having nice things, especially with good savings on top!!
submitted by MyPensKnowMySecrets to thrifting [link] [comments]
There's nothing more fun to me than getting something I really love at the thrift store only to later find out it was a super good deal. That was how I got a lovely dress in my size for 20 bucks that originally retails for 300. It's nice having nice things, especially with good savings on top!!
2024.05.14 21:14 Select_Green_1106 The 7 Best Bitcoin & Crypto Casinos Reviewed in 2024
The online casino industry has experienced an explosion in popularity in recent years and, in part, that's down to the legalisation of iGaming in a selection of US states that has allowed the industry to spread around the world. Of course, online casinos have come a long way since the early days. Now, there are more casino games than ever and, along with the increase in these, there are more and more payment methods. This means that crypto gambling is now with us, and this has brought a whole new audience to iGaming. With so many sites to choose from, how do you find the best bitcoin casino? How do you know what goes into making the best crypto casino? Should you be paying attention to new bitcoin casino sites? As you read on, that's what we're going to be exploring.
An Overview Of The Best Bitcoin and Crypto Casinos
If you're someone who likes to jump right in, and take a snapshot, to follow you'll find our summary of the crypto casino market and discover the ones that we think are the best. If you're someone who seeks more detail, we have you covered too, but you'll need to read on. So, here's a look at the best bitcoin casinos, as well as those accepting other top cryptocurrencies:
Let's have a closer look at what makes this one of the best bitcoin gambling sites:
Heybets and Crypto Casino Games
While there's plenty to consider when looking for the best bitcoin casino, there's no escaping the fact that the range of casino games matters. There needs to be plenty to keep players entertained, there need to be provably fair games, and sports betting is an added bonus. Here's what Heybets has to offer:
Slot Games
With traditional online casinos, slot games are the staple of what's on offer. These are the most popular casino games out there, and so you'd expect the best bitcoin casino sites to perform well here. The good news is that Heybets certainly delivers here. There are classic slots, jackpot slots, and those with stunning bonus rounds. Just a few of the titles include:
Table and Card Games
Something else that makes Heybets one of the best cryptocurrency casinos is the fact that it also caters well for fans of other games. Here, you'll find a selection of classics, such as:
Heybets also has a great range of live dealer games. You can enjoy live versions of blackjack, roulette, and baccarat. Thanks to the fact that the live casino is powered by Evolution Gaming, you can also make the most of live game shows, such as Dream Catcher and Monopoly Big Baller.
Banking and Crypto Transactions
As with all gambling websites, the payment methods on offer are important when it comes to choosing an online casino to play at. The top bitcoin casino sites allow players to use a range of cryptocurrencies, as well as supporting other methods that you'd find at fiat casinos. Ay Heybets, you can use the following to fund your account and play casino games:
When considering more traditional methods of depositing and withdrawing, Heybets also allows you to use bank wire. There are no fees when using this option for fiat currencies, but users of crypto will need to be aware of the relevant GAS fees.
Heybets and Bonuses and promotions
As you'd expect from a site that could well be considered the best bitcoin casino, there are a host of bonuses and promotions here. Let's get the bad news out of the way with first: this crypto casino does not offer a welcome bonus. With that out of the way, let's take a look at the bonuses and promotions on offer for existing players. While these change on a regular basis, these are the ones that are a constant:
Raise Your Arm Zeus
This bonus comes into play when you're playing the online slot, Gates of Olympus. You'll activate the bonus at this bitcoin casino if you manage to win 20x - 100x from the free spins feature. If you're in luck, this leads to this crypto casino boosting your winnings by 100%.
Extra Juice
The lack of a welcome bonus doesn't seem to sting quite so much when you look at the likes of Extra Juice. This bonus kicks in on a selection of new casino games. It can lead to winnings being boosted by 7%.
Sports Betting
While our focus is on online casinos, it's worth noting that Heybets also offers a range of ongoing bonuses and promotions for customers of its sportsbook.
Loyalty Program
If you're looking for the bitcoin casino with the best loyalty rewards then Heybets is it. The VIP program here has 5 tiers, and each comes with its own rewards. To enter at the bronze level, you need to have wagered at least $2,500. With this, you can enjoy 5% cashback on all bets. Reach diamond and you'll benefit from 10% cashback as well as exclusive bonuses and rewards. This certainly makes this site stand out from other bitcoin casinos.
Heybets Customer Service
With online gambling, it's a must that a site offers great customer support. At Heybets, you can be sure that you're covered here. Just like all relatively new bitcoin casino sites, there's a need for Heybets to go above and beyond to inspire confidence. It certainly does that with almost instant responses on its live chat which is staffed by knowledgable and polite agents. The only downside is that this isn't available 24/7.
Mobile Experience
While this bitcoin online casino doesn't have a dedicated app, players can still play games via their mobile browsers. The casino games here are compatible with mobile devices thanks to HTML5 technology and the work of the developers behind them.
Summing up the Heybets Online Crypto Casino
Let's sum up the pros and cons, and see what makes this online casino one that's worthy of your attention:
Pros:
Metaspins and Bitcoin Games
Something that is clear when looking at the best BTC casinos is that there is no shortage when it comes to the range of games that there are to choose from. What puts Metaspins in the running for the best bitcoin casino site is the fact that there are more than 2,500 games to explore. Given that this site was only launched in 2022, it can still be considered to be one of the new bitcoin casino sites, so there's a good chance that the range of games will only grow. Let's take a closer look at what's on offer now:
Slot Games
What makes Metaspins one of the best crypto casinos is the range of slots that can be played. These are provably fair games, and they come from some of the best providers in the business. In fact, what makes the range of slots so exciting here is the sheer number of providers that Metaspins works with. There are more than 30 of these, including the likes of:
Table and Card Games
As you'd expect from a site in the ranks of the best bitcoin casino, there's more to this BTC casino than slots. There's also a great range of table and card games, meaning that Metaspins is an attractive destination for fans of all casino games. The games that you'll find cover all the classics such as:
Like many of the best crypto casinos, Metaspins also has an impressive range of live games. These come from top developers such as Swintt and Evolution Gaming. When gambling online here, there are traditional titles to choose from, including live poker games, as well as game show experiences. such as Crazy Time and Boom City.
Banking and Crypto Transactions
This crypto casino accepts a range of cryptocurrencies. This is good news for players as it means that can find the crypto that suits them. The other great thing at this crypto casino is that, if you don't happen to have any crypto of your own, you can use VISA or MasterCard to purchase some. The cryptos available include:
Metaspins Bonuses and Promotions
A major part of online casinos is the welcome bonus money that's up for grabs. Alongside this, players also like to see reload bonuses, cashback, free spins and even no deposit bonuses (although these are a little on the rare side). With that in mind, let's take a look at what this bitcoin casino has to offer:
Metaspins Welcome Bonus
The welcome bonus offered here is certainly attractive, and is bound to catch the eye of many players. As one of the best bitcoin casino sites, Metaspins offers a 100% match bonus up to a maximum of 1 btc. That means that if you were to deposit 0.5 btc, you'd then be rewarded with another 0.5, meaning that you had 1 btc to play with. The only watch out here is the wagering requirements. They come in at 40x, and they need to be met within 7 days. This could prove a little tricky if you were to take advantage of the maximum bonus money offered.
Deposit and Get
As deposit bonuses go, this one we think is extremely impressive. It really is as simple as it sounds: you continue to make deposits, and you can be certain that you'll get rewards. You just need to keep an eye on your rewards panel. When you see a notification, give it a click and see what you've been given. Some of the rewards on offer are:
Sports Betting
Just like many of the other best bitcoin casinos, Metaspins also has an impressive sports betting section. There are separate bonuses to be enjoyed here.
Metaspins Customer Service
To be seen as one of the best crypto casino sites, there's a need for online gambling platforms to offer outstanding customer service. Bitcoin casinos are still relatively new, and knowing that the company is there when you need it matters even more than it does at traditional sites. Metaspins delivers here, with 24/7 live chat, as well as a detailed FAQ section. The fact that customer support is always there means that this truly is one of the top bitcoin casinos.
Mobile Experience
This btc casino doesn't have a dedicated app as yet, but that doesn't mean the games can't be enjoyed on the go. Simply by using your mobile browser, you can access Metaspins from any mobile device and enjoy the full crypto casino experience, no matter where you are.
Summing Up the Metaspins Crypto Casino
As before, now's the time to round up the pros and cons of this crypto casino site, so that you can decide if this is one that you want to play at:
Pros:
Inmerion Crypto Casino Games
With online gambling, players like to see a wide range of games. It's fair to say that when compared to other bitcoin casinos and fiat casinos, Inmerion has an impressive showing. There are more than 5,000 bitcoin casino games to be played, and we're going to explore these in more detail now:
Slots
You may think that Inmerion is the best crypto casino based on the number of slots alone. There are more than 3,000 of these to choose from, meaning that even the most ardent slot fans have plenty to keep them entertained. What we like here is that the number of slots isn't overwhelming thanks to the filters that can be used. You can set filters to search by provider, RTP, max win, and volatility.
Among this vast number of slots, you're going to come across new titles, as well as many classics, such as:
For gambling sites to be among the best, there needs to be more on offer than slots. Inmerion does well here with a range of other games:
Many crypto casinos give some attention to live dealer games, but here you'll find that there are more than 300 to choose from. There are all of the classic games, as well as the game show titles that Evolution Gaming excels at.
Banking Options
As you'd expect from one of the top bitcoin casinos, Inmerion has a range of cryptos that you can play with. You can make deposits and withdrawals using:
Inmerion's Bitcoin Casino Bonus
Whether it's a healthy welcome bonus, a loyalty program, or reloads that appeal, btc casinos need to have something special on offer to be classed as the best. Let's take a look at what Inmerion has to offer:
Welcome Bonus
As it stands, there is no Immerion welcome bonus on offer. This may be a letdown for some players who can't benefit from their first deposit. However, there are other casino bonuses to enjoy.
Engine of Fortune
This is a daily bonus that allows you to spin the wheel of fortune. You need to have deposited at least $50 in the last 24 hours and then you can spin. The prizes on offer include free spins, cash, and a more than impressive top prize of 5 btc.
Daily Cashback
No matter who plays at this online crypto casino, they can all benefit from the ongoing cashback offer. Each and every day you benefit from receiving 20% of your losses from the previous day. This is something that really appeals and certainly puts Inmerion in the running for the best bitcoin casino.
Sports Betting
This is another of the best crypto casinos that has an attractive sports book, along with some great bonuses.
Inmerion Customer Service
Reputable casinos need to be there for their customers. There need to be ways that customers can reach out and have their queries resolved in a timely manner. Here, you'll find that live chat is on hand 24/7 to deal with any issues. What we also liked was the fact that there is separate support for those wanting assistance with deposits and withdrawals.
Mobile Experience
Just like the other other crypto casinos that we've looked at so far, there is no mobile app here. However, you can still enjoy Inmerion online gambling via your smartphones and tablets via your mobile browser. Nothing is lost when compared to the desktop experience, and it allows you to enjoy all that Inmerion has to offer with added convenience.
Summing up the Inmerion Crypto Casino
That brings us towards the end of our look at this bitcoin gambling site. Before we move on to the next, let's sum up the pros and cons:
Pros:
BC Game Library
This crypto gambling platform is nothing short of mind-blowing when it comes to the number of games to choose from. At BC Game, you'll find that there are more than 9,000 to explore and that makes this crypto gambling site really stand out. What else is impressive here is that the games cater for high rollers as well as those with a more conservative budget. Let's take a look at just what there is here:
Slot Games
Like other bitcoin casinos that we've looked at so far, there are plenty of slots to enjoy here. Alongside titles that you'll find at other crypto casinos, BC Game also has a host of exclusive games that you won't find anywhere else. The remainder of the library is made up of titles from providers such as Play 'n Go, Microgaming, NetEnt, and Quickspin. Just some of the slots you'll find here include:
If you're a fan of jackpot slots, you'll find that there are more than 150 progressives here, with the chance to win life-changing amounts.
Table and Card Games
With so many games overall, it's probably unsurprising that there's also a great selection of table and card games too. Here, you can play classics such as:
BC Game also has live dealer games like the other btc casinos that we've looked at so far. These come from the best in the business, namely Evolution Gaming and Pragmatic Play. In truth, the selection here isn't as wide as it is at other crypto casinos, but there is still plenty to keep you entertained.
Banking Options at BC Game
Just like other crypto casinos that make our list of the best, BC Game has plenty of options to choose from. While there are no alternatives away from crypto, the number of these that you can play and withdraw your winnings with is impressive. Some of those that you can use include:
This bitcoin casino also comes with some attractive bonuses and promotions that are sure to appeal to players everywhere. Here's a look at what's up for grabs
Welcome Bonus
The welcome bonus here is a little different compared to that at other crypto casinos. That's because it's spread over your first 4 deposits. Here's how it's broken down:
No Deposit Bonuses
Right now, BC Game is also offering a no deposit bonus for new players who sign up. Simply by joining, you can claim $5 worth of free spins that can be used on the Lucky Wheel. Prizes can be up to $500 or come in a variety of cryptocurrencies.
Loyalty Rewards
Players in the VIP program can enjoy higher payouts, free spins, and a host of other rewards. Once a player reaches level 22, you're also given the chance to play with the Super Spin. This is a version of the Lucky Wheel that comes with even more rewards, with the chance to pocket 3 btc.
Sports Betting
Like the other bitcoin casinos that we've looked at so far, BC Game also has a sportsbook that comes with its own bonuses and rewards.
BC Game Customer Service
We're impressed with this crypto casino and the levels of support that are on offer. Firstly, there's the 24/7 live chat function. This is staffed by knowledgeable agents who provide speedy responses. As well as this, there is also the option to reach out via email. This takes longer to receive a reply, but when it does come it is detailed and resolves most issues.
Mobile Experience
If you're wanting to play on the go, BC Game has an impressive mobile app. This can be downloaded on both iOS and Android devices and provides a truly outstanding experience. If you'd rather not download, you can also play via your mobile browser.
Summing up the BC Game Crypto Casino
If you're still trying to decide if this casino is for you, here's an overview of the pros and cons:
Pros:
Stake Game Selection
While Stake may not have as many games as we've seen at BC Game, there are still more than 2,000 to choose from. In truth, this is plenty to keep players entertained, and the good news is that each and every title is truly exceptional. Let's take a look:
Online Slots
Slots are a major draw for players, and Stake certainly delivers in this area. You'll find a wide range of titles, with those that are instantly recognisable such as:
Table and Card Games
Just like the other best bitcoin casino sites, at Stake, you'll discover a great selection of classic casino games. Whether you're a fan of blackjack, excited by the spin of the wheel, or looking to take a chance with baccarat, Stake has you covered. The only game lacking here is poker. If your casino experience is based on video poker, you may need to play elsewhere.
Live Casino Games
You're sure to be impressed with what's on offer in terms of live dealer games. The lobby is bursting with titles coming from Evolution and Pragmatic Play. There are also titles from Bombay Live Games. This means that Stake has everything covered, and offers a live experience that's second to none.
Banking Options
As you'd expect from an operator that makes our list of the best bitcoin casinos, there are plenty of payment options to choose from. While this is a 100% crypto site, the good news is that you're not just limited to one or two of these. Just some of the ones you can use include:
Bonuses at Stake Casino
Before we explore the bonuses and promotions that Stake has to offer, let's first look at what's not up for grabs. At Stake, there is no welcome bonus on offer right now. There's no first deposit bonus or free spins. Why? Well, Stake is confident that it has enough to offer, and can attract new players with ease. With that out of the way, let's take a look at what you can take advantage of:
Daily Race
There is a prize pool worth $100,000 every day. When you play casino games, or wager at the sports book, you have the chance to win from this.
Weekly Giveaway
Each week there's the chance to share in a prize fund worth $75,000. To take part, you need to wager $1,000 for a ticket.
Multiplier Race
If you reach the highest multiplier on specified games, you may walk away with the top prize of $10,000.
Loyalty Program
Stake has an attractive loyalty program. However, before you enter the first level, you need to wager at least $10,000. This makes this a program for true high rollers. The rewards on offer include rakeback and daily bonuses.
Stake Customer Service
Just like other operators that we class as being among the best crypto casinos, at Stake there is a live chat option. This is available 24/7 and offers a great way to resolve any queries. You can expect a speedy response from agents who are polite and courteous.
Mobile Experience
Stake doesn't have a dedicated mobile app right now. However, you can still play on the go by going directly through your mobile browser. This means that you can play on any tablet or smartphone, without the need to download.
Summing up the Stake Casino Site
Before we move on to the next of the best crypto casinos, here's a look at the pros and cons of Stake:
Pros:
As we continue our reviews of the best crypto casinos, next up it's Wild.io. As you'll see as you read on, this is a site that comes with an attractive welcome bonus as well as an impressive lobby. Let's take a look in more detail and see what else Wild.io has to offer:
Wild.io Games Selection
A common theme among the best crypto casinos is the wide range of games that can be played. Over at Wild.io, there are around 2,500 of these to explore. This means that there's never any danger of losing interest, no matter what type of games you're a fan of. Let's take a closer look:
Wild.io Slots
As bitcoin casinos, as well as traditional ones, go the range of slots here is certainly impressive. There are more than 2,000 of these to choose from, and you can expect to see these coming from the likes of Pragmatic Play, NetEnt, Gamzix, and others. Some of the top titles that you'll be able to play include:
While Wild.io is one of the more impressive bitcoin casinos, we can't help feeling that there could be a little more on offer in this section. As it stands there are just 26 games to choose from. To be fair, all of the basics are covered, but we'd love to see this range expanded.
Live Dealer Games
This section seems to be a work in progress. As you click to enter the live area, it says that there are currently no games to play. However, there is a detailed explanation of how live bitcoin games work. This is something to be monitored as it surely means live games are on their way.
Banking Options at Wild.io
When comparing Wild.io to other bitcoin casinos, it's fair to say that there's a wide range of currencies that can be used. Here, you can choose between using:
Wild.io is one of the very best bitcoin casinos when it comes to the offers that it has. Let's take a look at these now:
Welcome Bonus
As bitcoin casino bonuses go, the welcome bonus here is very attractive. Rather than just being based on your first deposit, it's a package spread across your first three:
Wheel of Fortune
If you deposit at least $20 you can spin the Wheel of Fortune every day. Prizes can be as much as $1,000, and there are plenty of free spins up for grabs too. There is also the Jungle Wheel for VIPs. This wheel brings bigger rewards but requires a minimum deposit of $100.
Weekly Spotlight
Each week, Wild.io nominates a game that is in the spotlight. When you wager on the specified game, you're rewarded with more loyalty points.
Wild Weekends
Each Friday, Wild.io launches a promotion for the weekend. This could be a reload matched deposit bonus, free spins, or anything else that the operator decides to offer.
Rakeback and Cashback
The higher up you are in the VIP program you are, the more you can claim back. You can recover anywhere between 1% and 20% of your weekly losses.
Loyalty Program
Every player is automatically enrolled. The more you wager, the more points you have and the higher you claim. Each level has exclusive offers such as free spins and matched deposits. There are also other perks such as higher maximum withdrawals.
Wild.io Customer Service
Like the other bitcoin casinos that we've looked at, the customer service on offer at Wild.io is impressive. With a live chat function that is available 24/7, you can reach out whenever you need any assistance. When we gave this a try, we had an almost instant response meaning that our query was resolved quickly. There is also a chatbot to help with queries.
Mobile Experience
As it stands, there is no Wild.io mobile app. To enjoy this casino on the go, you can play via your mobile browser.
Summing up the Wild.io Casino
Before we move onto the final of our bitcoin casinos, here's a rundown of the pros and cons of Wild.io:
Pros:
Jackbit is the final operator to make our list that looks at the best bitcoin casino. With a great game selection and free spins up for grabs, you'll soon see why we rate this crypto casino so highly. Let's get into the detail now:
Jackbit Games Library
Established in 2022, Jackbit has quickly expanded its library so that it now exceeds 6,000 titles. There are plenty of slots to choose from, as well as an impressive range of table games. The live casino is also of note. Let's take a closer look:
Slots
There is certainly no shortage of slots at Jackbit. There are thousands of games to choose from, and these come from some of the best providers around. The likes of Yggdrasil, Red Tiger, and Microgaming mean that the quality is exceptional. Just some of the titles you will find include:
While some casinos only pay lip service to games other than slots, Jackbit is a little different. There is a vast range of choices here that covers all of the games that you could ever want to play. When you look at roulette alone, there are some 56 variations just of this game so you can imagine how vast the whole offerings are.
Live Casino
If live games are your thing, you'll find over 200 of these at Jackbit. As you'd expect, the classics are all covered, but there's also the inclusion of game show titles courtesy of Evolution. Just some of these include:
You can use a range of cryptocurrencies to play at Jackbit. If you don't happen to own any crypto, you can use your debit or credit card to purchase through the site. Some of the currencies that can used include:
If you're a fan of free spins, the Jackbit crypto casino may well be of interest to you. Let's take a look at why.
Jackbit First Deposit Bonus
When you make your first deposit at Jackbit, you're rewarded with 50 free spins that can be used on the Lazy Sheriff slot. What makes this bonus really attractive is the wagering requirements: wager once and any winnings are then yours.
Jackbit Loyalty Program
The loyalty program here has its focus on rakeback. As you wager more and move up the levels (Rookie to Legend), the greater the percentage of rakeback you're entitled to.
Customer Service
The Jackbit casino allows players to get in touch via live chat or email. The live chat option is there 24/7 and this is a big plus. There was a slight delay in being connected when we gave it a try, but after that the responses were all pretty much instant and we found our query being resolved very quickly.
Mobile Experience
There is currently no Jackbit mobile app. If you want to play via your smartphone or tablet, you can do this via your mobile browser. You'll find that the games translate well to the smaller screen and nothing is lost in terms of the experience.
Summing up the Jackbit Casino
Let's finish by taking a look at the pros and cons of this bitcoin casino:
Pros:
Are Bitcoin casinos safe?
Like any online casino, safety depends on the platform's reputation. Look for casinos with positive user reviews, provably fair games, and proper licensing.
What are provably fair games?
Provably fair games use cryptography to allow players to verify the randomness and fairness of each game round themselves, giving more transparency than traditional online casinos.
What types of games can I play at Bitcoin casinos?
Many Bitcoin casinos offer a wide variety of games, including slots, and table games (like blackjack and roulette.he online casino industry has experienced an explosion in popularity in recent years and, in part, that's down to the legalisation of iGaming in a selection of US states that has allowed the industry to spread around the world. Of course, online casinos have come a long way since the early days. Now, there are more casino games than ever and, along with the increase in these, there are more and more payment methods. This means that crypto gambling is now with us, and this has brought a whole new audience to iGaming. With so many sites to choose from, how do you find the best bitcoin casino? How do you know what goes into making the best crypto casino? Should you be paying attention to new bitcoin casino sites? As you read on, that's what we're going to be exploring.
An Overview Of The Best Bitcoin and Crypto Casinos
If you're someone who likes to jump right in, and take a snapshot, to follow you'll find our summary of the crypto casino market and discover the ones that we think are the best. If you're someone who seeks more detail, we have you covered too, but you'll need to read on. So, here's a look at the best bitcoin casinos, as well as those accepting other top cryptocurrencies:
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An Overview Of The Best Bitcoin and Crypto Casinos
If you're someone who likes to jump right in, and take a snapshot, to follow you'll find our summary of the crypto casino market and discover the ones that we think are the best. If you're someone who seeks more detail, we have you covered too, but you'll need to read on. So, here's a look at the best bitcoin casinos, as well as those accepting other top cryptocurrencies:
- Heybets - The best for VIP perks and regular promotions.
- Metaspins - Attractive first deposit bonus.
- Inmerion Casino - Huge range of classic casino games.
- B.C Game - Bitcoin gambling for all budgets.
- Stake - Impressive all-rounder.
- Wild.i.o - Best bitcoin casino for ongoing promotions.
- Jackbit - Great selection of bitcoin table games, as well as online slots.
The Heybets Crypto Casino Site
There's no denying that Heybets is one of the top bitcoin casinos around. As well as offering a great online casino experience, there is also an attractive sportsbook where you can enjoy sports betting on the top action. This means that you can play games, and win in the best sporting events, all in the same place.Let's have a closer look at what makes this one of the best bitcoin gambling sites:
Heybets and Crypto Casino Games
While there's plenty to consider when looking for the best bitcoin casino, there's no escaping the fact that the range of casino games matters. There needs to be plenty to keep players entertained, there need to be provably fair games, and sports betting is an added bonus. Here's what Heybets has to offer:
Slot Games
With traditional online casinos, slot games are the staple of what's on offer. These are the most popular casino games out there, and so you'd expect the best bitcoin casino sites to perform well here. The good news is that Heybets certainly delivers here. There are classic slots, jackpot slots, and those with stunning bonus rounds. Just a few of the titles include:
- Wanted Dead or a Wild
- Sugar Rush
- Hot to Burn
- Fruit Party
- NetEnt
- Hacksaw Gaming
- Red Tiger
- Quickspin
Table and Card Games
Something else that makes Heybets one of the best cryptocurrency casinos is the fact that it also caters well for fans of other games. Here, you'll find a selection of classics, such as:
- Blackjack - There's a range of blackjack variants at this btc casino such as American, Multihand, and Lightning.
- Roulette - You'll also find a range of roulette casino games to enjoy. You'll be able to play European and American roulette, as well as variants such as Lightning and Double Ball.
- Poker - While you won't find live online poker rooms here, there are 3 variations of video poker to enjoy.
Heybets also has a great range of live dealer games. You can enjoy live versions of blackjack, roulette, and baccarat. Thanks to the fact that the live casino is powered by Evolution Gaming, you can also make the most of live game shows, such as Dream Catcher and Monopoly Big Baller.
Banking and Crypto Transactions
As with all gambling websites, the payment methods on offer are important when it comes to choosing an online casino to play at. The top bitcoin casino sites allow players to use a range of cryptocurrencies, as well as supporting other methods that you'd find at fiat casinos. Ay Heybets, you can use the following to fund your account and play casino games:
- Bitcoin
- Litecoin
- Ethereum
When considering more traditional methods of depositing and withdrawing, Heybets also allows you to use bank wire. There are no fees when using this option for fiat currencies, but users of crypto will need to be aware of the relevant GAS fees.
Heybets and Bonuses and promotions
As you'd expect from a site that could well be considered the best bitcoin casino, there are a host of bonuses and promotions here. Let's get the bad news out of the way with first: this crypto casino does not offer a welcome bonus. With that out of the way, let's take a look at the bonuses and promotions on offer for existing players. While these change on a regular basis, these are the ones that are a constant:
Raise Your Arm Zeus
This bonus comes into play when you're playing the online slot, Gates of Olympus. You'll activate the bonus at this bitcoin casino if you manage to win 20x - 100x from the free spins feature. If you're in luck, this leads to this crypto casino boosting your winnings by 100%.
Extra Juice
The lack of a welcome bonus doesn't seem to sting quite so much when you look at the likes of Extra Juice. This bonus kicks in on a selection of new casino games. It can lead to winnings being boosted by 7%.
Sports Betting
While our focus is on online casinos, it's worth noting that Heybets also offers a range of ongoing bonuses and promotions for customers of its sportsbook.
Loyalty Program
If you're looking for the bitcoin casino with the best loyalty rewards then Heybets is it. The VIP program here has 5 tiers, and each comes with its own rewards. To enter at the bronze level, you need to have wagered at least $2,500. With this, you can enjoy 5% cashback on all bets. Reach diamond and you'll benefit from 10% cashback as well as exclusive bonuses and rewards. This certainly makes this site stand out from other bitcoin casinos.
Heybets Customer Service
With online gambling, it's a must that a site offers great customer support. At Heybets, you can be sure that you're covered here. Just like all relatively new bitcoin casino sites, there's a need for Heybets to go above and beyond to inspire confidence. It certainly does that with almost instant responses on its live chat which is staffed by knowledgable and polite agents. The only downside is that this isn't available 24/7.
Mobile Experience
While this bitcoin online casino doesn't have a dedicated app, players can still play games via their mobile browsers. The casino games here are compatible with mobile devices thanks to HTML5 technology and the work of the developers behind them.
Summing up the Heybets Online Crypto Casino
Let's sum up the pros and cons, and see what makes this online casino one that's worthy of your attention:
Pros:
- Great range of online slots and table games
- Impressive selection of live casino games
- Generous ongoing promotions
- Opportunity to explore sports betting
- Lack of welcome bonus/deposit bonuses
- No mobile app
- Customer support not 24/7
The Metaspins Bitcoin Casino
When looking at the best bitcoin casinos, Metaspins is another online gambling site that can't be ignored. If you're the kind of player seeking an attractive deposit bonus, then you'll be more than happy with what's on offer here. As we get into the detail, you'll soon see why Metaspins deserves a place on our list of the best bitcoin casinos.Metaspins and Bitcoin Games
Something that is clear when looking at the best BTC casinos is that there is no shortage when it comes to the range of games that there are to choose from. What puts Metaspins in the running for the best bitcoin casino site is the fact that there are more than 2,500 games to explore. Given that this site was only launched in 2022, it can still be considered to be one of the new bitcoin casino sites, so there's a good chance that the range of games will only grow. Let's take a closer look at what's on offer now:
Slot Games
What makes Metaspins one of the best crypto casinos is the range of slots that can be played. These are provably fair games, and they come from some of the best providers in the business. In fact, what makes the range of slots so exciting here is the sheer number of providers that Metaspins works with. There are more than 30 of these, including the likes of:
- Relax Gaming
- Wazdan
- Yggdrasil
- Quickspin
Table and Card Games
As you'd expect from a site in the ranks of the best bitcoin casino, there's more to this BTC casino than slots. There's also a great range of table and card games, meaning that Metaspins is an attractive destination for fans of all casino games. The games that you'll find cover all the classics such as:
- Blackjack
- Roulette
- Baccarat
- Video poker
Like many of the best crypto casinos, Metaspins also has an impressive range of live games. These come from top developers such as Swintt and Evolution Gaming. When gambling online here, there are traditional titles to choose from, including live poker games, as well as game show experiences. such as Crazy Time and Boom City.
Banking and Crypto Transactions
This crypto casino accepts a range of cryptocurrencies. This is good news for players as it means that can find the crypto that suits them. The other great thing at this crypto casino is that, if you don't happen to have any crypto of your own, you can use VISA or MasterCard to purchase some. The cryptos available include:
- Bitcoin
- Bitcoin Cash
- Ethereum
- Tron
- Ripple
- Dogecoin
- Litecoin
Metaspins Bonuses and Promotions
A major part of online casinos is the welcome bonus money that's up for grabs. Alongside this, players also like to see reload bonuses, cashback, free spins and even no deposit bonuses (although these are a little on the rare side). With that in mind, let's take a look at what this bitcoin casino has to offer:
Metaspins Welcome Bonus
The welcome bonus offered here is certainly attractive, and is bound to catch the eye of many players. As one of the best bitcoin casino sites, Metaspins offers a 100% match bonus up to a maximum of 1 btc. That means that if you were to deposit 0.5 btc, you'd then be rewarded with another 0.5, meaning that you had 1 btc to play with. The only watch out here is the wagering requirements. They come in at 40x, and they need to be met within 7 days. This could prove a little tricky if you were to take advantage of the maximum bonus money offered.
Deposit and Get
As deposit bonuses go, this one we think is extremely impressive. It really is as simple as it sounds: you continue to make deposits, and you can be certain that you'll get rewards. You just need to keep an eye on your rewards panel. When you see a notification, give it a click and see what you've been given. Some of the rewards on offer are:
- Reload bonuses to use on your favourite casino games.
- Free spins that can be enjoyed on the best slot games.
- MetaLotto tickets that can lead to substantial prizes.
Sports Betting
Just like many of the other best bitcoin casinos, Metaspins also has an impressive sports betting section. There are separate bonuses to be enjoyed here.
Metaspins Customer Service
To be seen as one of the best crypto casino sites, there's a need for online gambling platforms to offer outstanding customer service. Bitcoin casinos are still relatively new, and knowing that the company is there when you need it matters even more than it does at traditional sites. Metaspins delivers here, with 24/7 live chat, as well as a detailed FAQ section. The fact that customer support is always there means that this truly is one of the top bitcoin casinos.
Mobile Experience
This btc casino doesn't have a dedicated app as yet, but that doesn't mean the games can't be enjoyed on the go. Simply by using your mobile browser, you can access Metaspins from any mobile device and enjoy the full crypto casino experience, no matter where you are.
Summing Up the Metaspins Crypto Casino
As before, now's the time to round up the pros and cons of this crypto casino site, so that you can decide if this is one that you want to play at:
Pros:
- Attractive welcome bonus
- Huge range of provably fair games.
- 24/7 customer support
- Reload bonuses that include free spins
- Selection of cryptos accepted.
- Wagering requirements must be met within 7 days
- No mobile app (however the browser experience is outstanding).
The Immerion Bitcoin Casino Site
If you're looking for crypto casino sites that feature all of the classics that you're already a fan of, then Immerion could well be the crypto casino for you. As you read on, we'll be looking at just what's on offer here. As well as considering the crypto casino games, we'll also be looking at everything else that you need to know Let's get started.Inmerion Crypto Casino Games
With online gambling, players like to see a wide range of games. It's fair to say that when compared to other bitcoin casinos and fiat casinos, Inmerion has an impressive showing. There are more than 5,000 bitcoin casino games to be played, and we're going to explore these in more detail now:
Slots
You may think that Inmerion is the best crypto casino based on the number of slots alone. There are more than 3,000 of these to choose from, meaning that even the most ardent slot fans have plenty to keep them entertained. What we like here is that the number of slots isn't overwhelming thanks to the filters that can be used. You can set filters to search by provider, RTP, max win, and volatility.
Among this vast number of slots, you're going to come across new titles, as well as many classics, such as:
- Big Bass Bonanza
- Sugar Rush
- Gate of Olympus
For gambling sites to be among the best, there needs to be more on offer than slots. Inmerion does well here with a range of other games:
- Blackjack - There are more than 70 blackjack titles to choose from here.
- Roulette - With European and American versions to choose from, there are also another 146 titles to explore.
- Poker - There are live poker rooms as well as video poker here, with a total of 35 titles to choose from.
- Other Games - By exploring the tabs, you'll also find bitcoin casino games such as craps and bingo.
Many crypto casinos give some attention to live dealer games, but here you'll find that there are more than 300 to choose from. There are all of the classic games, as well as the game show titles that Evolution Gaming excels at.
Banking Options
As you'd expect from one of the top bitcoin casinos, Inmerion has a range of cryptos that you can play with. You can make deposits and withdrawals using:
- Bitcoin
- Bitcoin Cash
- Ethereum
- Litecoin
- Tron
- Dogecoin
- USD Coin
- BNB Coin
Inmerion's Bitcoin Casino Bonus
Whether it's a healthy welcome bonus, a loyalty program, or reloads that appeal, btc casinos need to have something special on offer to be classed as the best. Let's take a look at what Inmerion has to offer:
Welcome Bonus
As it stands, there is no Immerion welcome bonus on offer. This may be a letdown for some players who can't benefit from their first deposit. However, there are other casino bonuses to enjoy.
Engine of Fortune
This is a daily bonus that allows you to spin the wheel of fortune. You need to have deposited at least $50 in the last 24 hours and then you can spin. The prizes on offer include free spins, cash, and a more than impressive top prize of 5 btc.
Daily Cashback
No matter who plays at this online crypto casino, they can all benefit from the ongoing cashback offer. Each and every day you benefit from receiving 20% of your losses from the previous day. This is something that really appeals and certainly puts Inmerion in the running for the best bitcoin casino.
Sports Betting
This is another of the best crypto casinos that has an attractive sports book, along with some great bonuses.
Inmerion Customer Service
Reputable casinos need to be there for their customers. There need to be ways that customers can reach out and have their queries resolved in a timely manner. Here, you'll find that live chat is on hand 24/7 to deal with any issues. What we also liked was the fact that there is separate support for those wanting assistance with deposits and withdrawals.
Mobile Experience
Just like the other other crypto casinos that we've looked at so far, there is no mobile app here. However, you can still enjoy Inmerion online gambling via your smartphones and tablets via your mobile browser. Nothing is lost when compared to the desktop experience, and it allows you to enjoy all that Inmerion has to offer with added convenience.
Summing up the Inmerion Crypto Casino
That brings us towards the end of our look at this bitcoin gambling site. Before we move on to the next, let's sum up the pros and cons:
Pros:
- Massive range of games.
- Ongoing promotions, including free spins.
- Range of cryptocurrencies accepted, with the chance to withdraw your gambling winnings with ease.
- Impressive sports betting section.
- Exceptional live dealer section.
- No welcome bonus so no way to benefit from the first deposit.
- Lack of a mobile app
The BC Game Online Casino
As we continue to explore the best bitcoin gambling sites, next up is BC Game. This is a site that was established back in 2017, and there is no doubt that this is one of the most reputable btc casinos that there is. Let's take a look at what's on offer, and what makes this one of the best crypto casinos that there is.BC Game Library
This crypto gambling platform is nothing short of mind-blowing when it comes to the number of games to choose from. At BC Game, you'll find that there are more than 9,000 to explore and that makes this crypto gambling site really stand out. What else is impressive here is that the games cater for high rollers as well as those with a more conservative budget. Let's take a look at just what there is here:
Slot Games
Like other bitcoin casinos that we've looked at so far, there are plenty of slots to enjoy here. Alongside titles that you'll find at other crypto casinos, BC Game also has a host of exclusive games that you won't find anywhere else. The remainder of the library is made up of titles from providers such as Play 'n Go, Microgaming, NetEnt, and Quickspin. Just some of the slots you'll find here include:
- Book of Shadows
- Starburst XXXtreme
- Aztec Pyramid
If you're a fan of jackpot slots, you'll find that there are more than 150 progressives here, with the chance to win life-changing amounts.
Table and Card Games
With so many games overall, it's probably unsurprising that there's also a great selection of table and card games too. Here, you can play classics such as:
- Blackjack
- Roulette
- Craps
- Baccarat
- Scratchcards
BC Game also has live dealer games like the other btc casinos that we've looked at so far. These come from the best in the business, namely Evolution Gaming and Pragmatic Play. In truth, the selection here isn't as wide as it is at other crypto casinos, but there is still plenty to keep you entertained.
Banking Options at BC Game
Just like other crypto casinos that make our list of the best, BC Game has plenty of options to choose from. While there are no alternatives away from crypto, the number of these that you can play and withdraw your winnings with is impressive. Some of those that you can use include:
- Bitcoin
- Ethereum
- Dogecoin
- Ripple
- Cardano
- Tron
- Polkadot
- Solana
This bitcoin casino also comes with some attractive bonuses and promotions that are sure to appeal to players everywhere. Here's a look at what's up for grabs
Welcome Bonus
The welcome bonus here is a little different compared to that at other crypto casinos. That's because it's spread over your first 4 deposits. Here's how it's broken down:
- First deposit- 180% match bonus up to 20,000 BCD
- Second deposit - 240% up to 40,000 BCD
- Third deposit - 300% up to 60,000 BCD
- Fourth Deposit - 360% up to 100,000 BCD
No Deposit Bonuses
Right now, BC Game is also offering a no deposit bonus for new players who sign up. Simply by joining, you can claim $5 worth of free spins that can be used on the Lucky Wheel. Prizes can be up to $500 or come in a variety of cryptocurrencies.
Loyalty Rewards
Players in the VIP program can enjoy higher payouts, free spins, and a host of other rewards. Once a player reaches level 22, you're also given the chance to play with the Super Spin. This is a version of the Lucky Wheel that comes with even more rewards, with the chance to pocket 3 btc.
Sports Betting
Like the other bitcoin casinos that we've looked at so far, BC Game also has a sportsbook that comes with its own bonuses and rewards.
BC Game Customer Service
We're impressed with this crypto casino and the levels of support that are on offer. Firstly, there's the 24/7 live chat function. This is staffed by knowledgeable agents who provide speedy responses. As well as this, there is also the option to reach out via email. This takes longer to receive a reply, but when it does come it is detailed and resolves most issues.
Mobile Experience
If you're wanting to play on the go, BC Game has an impressive mobile app. This can be downloaded on both iOS and Android devices and provides a truly outstanding experience. If you'd rather not download, you can also play via your mobile browser.
Summing up the BC Game Crypto Casino
If you're still trying to decide if this casino is for you, here's an overview of the pros and cons:
Pros:
- More than 9,000 games to choose from
- Accessible to players regardless of budget
- Impressive mobile app
- Generous welcome bonus
- Wagering requirements could be lower
- The selection of live casino games is a little limited.
Stake Online Casino Site
If you have ever explored crypto casinos, there's a very good chance that you have come across the name, Stake. Why? Well, it's widely regarded as one of the best out there. As you keep reading, we're going to delve into the details and show you why.Stake Game Selection
While Stake may not have as many games as we've seen at BC Game, there are still more than 2,000 to choose from. In truth, this is plenty to keep players entertained, and the good news is that each and every title is truly exceptional. Let's take a look:
Online Slots
Slots are a major draw for players, and Stake certainly delivers in this area. You'll find a wide range of titles, with those that are instantly recognisable such as:
- Sweet Bonanza
- Sugar Rush 1000
- Blue Samurai
Table and Card Games
Just like the other best bitcoin casino sites, at Stake, you'll discover a great selection of classic casino games. Whether you're a fan of blackjack, excited by the spin of the wheel, or looking to take a chance with baccarat, Stake has you covered. The only game lacking here is poker. If your casino experience is based on video poker, you may need to play elsewhere.
Live Casino Games
You're sure to be impressed with what's on offer in terms of live dealer games. The lobby is bursting with titles coming from Evolution and Pragmatic Play. There are also titles from Bombay Live Games. This means that Stake has everything covered, and offers a live experience that's second to none.
Banking Options
As you'd expect from an operator that makes our list of the best bitcoin casinos, there are plenty of payment options to choose from. While this is a 100% crypto site, the good news is that you're not just limited to one or two of these. Just some of the ones you can use include:
- LiteCoin
- Bitcoin
- Ethereum
- Dogecoin
- Bitcoin Cash
Bonuses at Stake Casino
Before we explore the bonuses and promotions that Stake has to offer, let's first look at what's not up for grabs. At Stake, there is no welcome bonus on offer right now. There's no first deposit bonus or free spins. Why? Well, Stake is confident that it has enough to offer, and can attract new players with ease. With that out of the way, let's take a look at what you can take advantage of:
Daily Race
There is a prize pool worth $100,000 every day. When you play casino games, or wager at the sports book, you have the chance to win from this.
Weekly Giveaway
Each week there's the chance to share in a prize fund worth $75,000. To take part, you need to wager $1,000 for a ticket.
Multiplier Race
If you reach the highest multiplier on specified games, you may walk away with the top prize of $10,000.
Loyalty Program
Stake has an attractive loyalty program. However, before you enter the first level, you need to wager at least $10,000. This makes this a program for true high rollers. The rewards on offer include rakeback and daily bonuses.
Stake Customer Service
Just like other operators that we class as being among the best crypto casinos, at Stake there is a live chat option. This is available 24/7 and offers a great way to resolve any queries. You can expect a speedy response from agents who are polite and courteous.
Mobile Experience
Stake doesn't have a dedicated mobile app right now. However, you can still play on the go by going directly through your mobile browser. This means that you can play on any tablet or smartphone, without the need to download.
Summing up the Stake Casino Site
Before we move on to the next of the best crypto casinos, here's a look at the pros and cons of Stake:
Pros:
- Well-established and trusted
- Amazing exclusive games
- Wide range of cryptocurrencies accepted
- Ongoing bonuses
- No welcome bonus
- High entry level to the loyalty program
Wild.io Bitcoin Casino
As we continue our reviews of the best crypto casinos, next up it's Wild.io. As you'll see as you read on, this is a site that comes with an attractive welcome bonus as well as an impressive lobby. Let's take a look in more detail and see what else Wild.io has to offer:
Wild.io Games Selection
A common theme among the best crypto casinos is the wide range of games that can be played. Over at Wild.io, there are around 2,500 of these to explore. This means that there's never any danger of losing interest, no matter what type of games you're a fan of. Let's take a closer look:
Wild.io Slots
As bitcoin casinos, as well as traditional ones, go the range of slots here is certainly impressive. There are more than 2,000 of these to choose from, and you can expect to see these coming from the likes of Pragmatic Play, NetEnt, Gamzix, and others. Some of the top titles that you'll be able to play include:
- Wilds of Fortune
- Rise of Triton
- Book of Doom
While Wild.io is one of the more impressive bitcoin casinos, we can't help feeling that there could be a little more on offer in this section. As it stands there are just 26 games to choose from. To be fair, all of the basics are covered, but we'd love to see this range expanded.
Live Dealer Games
This section seems to be a work in progress. As you click to enter the live area, it says that there are currently no games to play. However, there is a detailed explanation of how live bitcoin games work. This is something to be monitored as it surely means live games are on their way.
Banking Options at Wild.io
When comparing Wild.io to other bitcoin casinos, it's fair to say that there's a wide range of currencies that can be used. Here, you can choose between using:
- Bitcoin
- Ethereum
- Bitcoin Cash
- Litecoin
- Dogecoin
- Ripple
- Tron
- Binance Coin
- Tether
Wild.io is one of the very best bitcoin casinos when it comes to the offers that it has. Let's take a look at these now:
Welcome Bonus
As bitcoin casino bonuses go, the welcome bonus here is very attractive. Rather than just being based on your first deposit, it's a package spread across your first three:
- First deposit - 100% match bonus up to $99 + 100 free spins.
- Second Deposit bonuses - Deposit between $100 and $499 for a 110% match plus 75 free spins.
- Third Deposit Bonus - Between 75% and 120% depending on the amount deposited, plus 75 free spins.
Wheel of Fortune
If you deposit at least $20 you can spin the Wheel of Fortune every day. Prizes can be as much as $1,000, and there are plenty of free spins up for grabs too. There is also the Jungle Wheel for VIPs. This wheel brings bigger rewards but requires a minimum deposit of $100.
Weekly Spotlight
Each week, Wild.io nominates a game that is in the spotlight. When you wager on the specified game, you're rewarded with more loyalty points.
Wild Weekends
Each Friday, Wild.io launches a promotion for the weekend. This could be a reload matched deposit bonus, free spins, or anything else that the operator decides to offer.
Rakeback and Cashback
The higher up you are in the VIP program you are, the more you can claim back. You can recover anywhere between 1% and 20% of your weekly losses.
Loyalty Program
Every player is automatically enrolled. The more you wager, the more points you have and the higher you claim. Each level has exclusive offers such as free spins and matched deposits. There are also other perks such as higher maximum withdrawals.
Wild.io Customer Service
Like the other bitcoin casinos that we've looked at, the customer service on offer at Wild.io is impressive. With a live chat function that is available 24/7, you can reach out whenever you need any assistance. When we gave this a try, we had an almost instant response meaning that our query was resolved quickly. There is also a chatbot to help with queries.
Mobile Experience
As it stands, there is no Wild.io mobile app. To enjoy this casino on the go, you can play via your mobile browser.
Summing up the Wild.io Casino
Before we move onto the final of our bitcoin casinos, here's a rundown of the pros and cons of Wild.io:
Pros:
- Attractive welcome bonus
- Ongoing promotions
- Great range of games
- 24/7 customer support
- Lack of live dealer games
- Limited table games
Jackbit Crypto Casino
Jackbit is the final operator to make our list that looks at the best bitcoin casino. With a great game selection and free spins up for grabs, you'll soon see why we rate this crypto casino so highly. Let's get into the detail now:
Jackbit Games Library
Established in 2022, Jackbit has quickly expanded its library so that it now exceeds 6,000 titles. There are plenty of slots to choose from, as well as an impressive range of table games. The live casino is also of note. Let's take a closer look:
Slots
There is certainly no shortage of slots at Jackbit. There are thousands of games to choose from, and these come from some of the best providers around. The likes of Yggdrasil, Red Tiger, and Microgaming mean that the quality is exceptional. Just some of the titles you will find include:
- 888 Dragons
- Wanted Dead or a Wild
- Sweet Bonanza
- Gates of Olympus
While some casinos only pay lip service to games other than slots, Jackbit is a little different. There is a vast range of choices here that covers all of the games that you could ever want to play. When you look at roulette alone, there are some 56 variations just of this game so you can imagine how vast the whole offerings are.
Live Casino
If live games are your thing, you'll find over 200 of these at Jackbit. As you'd expect, the classics are all covered, but there's also the inclusion of game show titles courtesy of Evolution. Just some of these include:
- Crazy Time
- Mega Ball
- Cash or Crash
- Monopoly Live
You can use a range of cryptocurrencies to play at Jackbit. If you don't happen to own any crypto, you can use your debit or credit card to purchase through the site. Some of the currencies that can used include:
- Bitcoin
- Tron
- Solana
- Ethereum
- Monero
- Tether
If you're a fan of free spins, the Jackbit crypto casino may well be of interest to you. Let's take a look at why.
Jackbit First Deposit Bonus
When you make your first deposit at Jackbit, you're rewarded with 50 free spins that can be used on the Lazy Sheriff slot. What makes this bonus really attractive is the wagering requirements: wager once and any winnings are then yours.
Jackbit Loyalty Program
The loyalty program here has its focus on rakeback. As you wager more and move up the levels (Rookie to Legend), the greater the percentage of rakeback you're entitled to.
Customer Service
The Jackbit casino allows players to get in touch via live chat or email. The live chat option is there 24/7 and this is a big plus. There was a slight delay in being connected when we gave it a try, but after that the responses were all pretty much instant and we found our query being resolved very quickly.
Mobile Experience
There is currently no Jackbit mobile app. If you want to play via your smartphone or tablet, you can do this via your mobile browser. You'll find that the games translate well to the smaller screen and nothing is lost in terms of the experience.
Summing up the Jackbit Casino
Let's finish by taking a look at the pros and cons of this bitcoin casino:
Pros:
- Great free spins bonus
- Low wagering requirements
- Impressive selection of games across the board
- Top customer service
- Limited ongoing promotions
Are Bitcoin casinos safe?
Like any online casino, safety depends on the platform's reputation. Look for casinos with positive user reviews, provably fair games, and proper licensing.
What are provably fair games?
Provably fair games use cryptography to allow players to verify the randomness and fairness of each game round themselves, giving more transparency than traditional online casinos.
What types of games can I play at Bitcoin casinos?
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2024.05.14 21:12 One5_ Me (24M) and rekindled ex (23F) broke off and now she’s dating a guy with two kids but she doesn’t want kids… huh?
Rekindled ex is dating a guy with kids when she doesn’t want any
HEADS UP POST HAS SOME BACKSTORY TO IT!!!!
My best friend of 10 years and girlfriend for 7 of those years recently rekindled our romance after not talking for 8 months she’s 23 and I’m 24. We are not official and keeping our options open so it was cool that we were talking to other people. I know she’s talking to one other guy. We ended things because of a night out drinking she got shit face drunk while I stayed sober because I was driving. Went back to her place to make sure she got home safe. She insisted on having sex with me even though I told her now and tried to leave multiple times because I didn’t want to take advantage of her in her intoxicated state. She told me to just lay with her until she fell asleep so I did. 5 mins later she gets on top of me and holds my hands down while putting her boobs against my lips. She then grabbed my hands to place on her butt while she twerked on me. We did some oral stuff but no penetration.
The day after she blocked me on everything and told me that she doesn’t remember that night and I took advantage of her which pissed me off because I would never do that to someone I deeply loved for the past decade even throughout high school when we started to date.
Now a week later she is in a relationship with the other guy which leads me to believe that I dodged a bullet with her.
NOW FOR THE RESON OF THIS POST Her new boyfriend is the guy she’s been talking to. The guy is 27 with two kids one is 6 and the other is 2. His ex wife (they are separated but still haven’t gotten a divorce and live together) cheated on him during marriage and he cheated back as revenge. She (my ex) has never dated anyone with kids. She has told me that she doesn’t want kids ever because she doesn’t want to raise any and doesn’t expect to be raising his kids ever or being a stepmom ever. She’s told me that her new “boyfriend” and her haven’t even gone on an official date like dinner type stuff just hanging out at night every now and then for an hour or two.
I’m just curious how long you think this little relationship between them will last because I can only imagine???
TL;DR: Ex is dating a guy with two kids (2 & 6) and he’s still living with his ex wife (separated but not divorced for cheating and revenge cheating). Ex doesn’t want kids and doesn’t want to be a mom. How long do you see that relationship lasting??
submitted by One5_ to relationships [link] [comments]
HEADS UP POST HAS SOME BACKSTORY TO IT!!!!
My best friend of 10 years and girlfriend for 7 of those years recently rekindled our romance after not talking for 8 months she’s 23 and I’m 24. We are not official and keeping our options open so it was cool that we were talking to other people. I know she’s talking to one other guy. We ended things because of a night out drinking she got shit face drunk while I stayed sober because I was driving. Went back to her place to make sure she got home safe. She insisted on having sex with me even though I told her now and tried to leave multiple times because I didn’t want to take advantage of her in her intoxicated state. She told me to just lay with her until she fell asleep so I did. 5 mins later she gets on top of me and holds my hands down while putting her boobs against my lips. She then grabbed my hands to place on her butt while she twerked on me. We did some oral stuff but no penetration.
The day after she blocked me on everything and told me that she doesn’t remember that night and I took advantage of her which pissed me off because I would never do that to someone I deeply loved for the past decade even throughout high school when we started to date.
Now a week later she is in a relationship with the other guy which leads me to believe that I dodged a bullet with her.
NOW FOR THE RESON OF THIS POST Her new boyfriend is the guy she’s been talking to. The guy is 27 with two kids one is 6 and the other is 2. His ex wife (they are separated but still haven’t gotten a divorce and live together) cheated on him during marriage and he cheated back as revenge. She (my ex) has never dated anyone with kids. She has told me that she doesn’t want kids ever because she doesn’t want to raise any and doesn’t expect to be raising his kids ever or being a stepmom ever. She’s told me that her new “boyfriend” and her haven’t even gone on an official date like dinner type stuff just hanging out at night every now and then for an hour or two.
I’m just curious how long you think this little relationship between them will last because I can only imagine???
TL;DR: Ex is dating a guy with two kids (2 & 6) and he’s still living with his ex wife (separated but not divorced for cheating and revenge cheating). Ex doesn’t want kids and doesn’t want to be a mom. How long do you see that relationship lasting??
2024.05.14 21:03 elljj_ Unraveling Love and Betrayal
Love was supposed to be a sanctuary, a sacred connection that held the pieces of my world together, even when those very pieces seemed determined to crumble. I grew up learning that love meant never turning your back on each other, no matter what. This belief was tested time and again by a life partner whose bouts of anger left a trail of physical and emotional scars on me.
Their crimes weren’t faceless. They were intensely personal—acts of violence that stole my peace, damaged my property, and drained my finances. Yet, each time an outburst erupted, I told myself it was just the anger talking, not their heart. The idea of calling the police and labeling a loved one as a criminal was unimaginable. Besides, I feared the repercussions that law enforcement could bring upon them—the societal label of a felon, the potential ruination of their life. So, I remained silent, protecting them under the guise of love and commitment.
Warnings slipped from my lips occasionally, a desperate attempt to curb their aggression. I hoped that the mere threat of involving the police would be enough to make them reconsider their actions. But those threats only earned me the label of a "snitch" from them—a term heavy with betrayal and disloyalty, powerful enough to keep me from dialing for help.
As the years passed, the violence escalated. One harrowing evening, a blow came so close to costing me an eye, I could no longer recognize the person standing before me as the one I loved. Yet, ironically, it was my partner who called the police, not to confess their own violence, but in a manipulative twist to portray themselves as the victim.
The cycle of abuse and silence broke one fateful night when, amid a particularly severe altercation, my partner dialed 911. They accused me of being the aggressor, a claim far from the truth yet convincing enough to see me taken away by the police.
After that night, I made the heart-wrenching decision to reclaim my space and my peace by ending the relationship. In a twist of fate, I learned they had attempted to press charges against me, divulging everything about my life to the authorities—from my workplace details to my parents' occupations. Their attempt to smear my name ended up unraveling their own deceit, as their narrative did more to support my innocence than to condemn me.
Despite the relief of reclaiming my peace, I find myself missing them. The complexity of love intertwined with betrayal leaves me in a constant state of emotional conflict. The revelation that my partner could betray me so deeply—labeling themselves a "snitch" in the eyes of the law—taints the memories of our time together. This betrayal is something I struggle to forgive, and the path to forgiveness seems shrouded in uncertainty. I grapple with the pain of loss and the harsh reality of their deceit, pondering how one can truly forgive when trust has been so profoundly shattered.
Through this ordeal, I have learned that the sanctity of love should not be preserved at the expense of one's safety and that standing up for oneself does not equate to betrayal. It signifies strength, the courage to break free from the chains of misplaced loyalty and to begin healing.
Now, I turn to you, dear reader: faced with such a betrayal, could you forgive?
submitted by elljj_ to Vent [link] [comments]
Their crimes weren’t faceless. They were intensely personal—acts of violence that stole my peace, damaged my property, and drained my finances. Yet, each time an outburst erupted, I told myself it was just the anger talking, not their heart. The idea of calling the police and labeling a loved one as a criminal was unimaginable. Besides, I feared the repercussions that law enforcement could bring upon them—the societal label of a felon, the potential ruination of their life. So, I remained silent, protecting them under the guise of love and commitment.
Warnings slipped from my lips occasionally, a desperate attempt to curb their aggression. I hoped that the mere threat of involving the police would be enough to make them reconsider their actions. But those threats only earned me the label of a "snitch" from them—a term heavy with betrayal and disloyalty, powerful enough to keep me from dialing for help.
As the years passed, the violence escalated. One harrowing evening, a blow came so close to costing me an eye, I could no longer recognize the person standing before me as the one I loved. Yet, ironically, it was my partner who called the police, not to confess their own violence, but in a manipulative twist to portray themselves as the victim.
The cycle of abuse and silence broke one fateful night when, amid a particularly severe altercation, my partner dialed 911. They accused me of being the aggressor, a claim far from the truth yet convincing enough to see me taken away by the police.
After that night, I made the heart-wrenching decision to reclaim my space and my peace by ending the relationship. In a twist of fate, I learned they had attempted to press charges against me, divulging everything about my life to the authorities—from my workplace details to my parents' occupations. Their attempt to smear my name ended up unraveling their own deceit, as their narrative did more to support my innocence than to condemn me.
Despite the relief of reclaiming my peace, I find myself missing them. The complexity of love intertwined with betrayal leaves me in a constant state of emotional conflict. The revelation that my partner could betray me so deeply—labeling themselves a "snitch" in the eyes of the law—taints the memories of our time together. This betrayal is something I struggle to forgive, and the path to forgiveness seems shrouded in uncertainty. I grapple with the pain of loss and the harsh reality of their deceit, pondering how one can truly forgive when trust has been so profoundly shattered.
Through this ordeal, I have learned that the sanctity of love should not be preserved at the expense of one's safety and that standing up for oneself does not equate to betrayal. It signifies strength, the courage to break free from the chains of misplaced loyalty and to begin healing.
Now, I turn to you, dear reader: faced with such a betrayal, could you forgive?
2024.05.14 20:59 Flagg1991 Children of the Night (Part 1)
What am I doing? Dominick Mason asked himself for the hundredth time that night. It was late on a rainy Sunday evening and Dom, a tall, lanky man-boy of twenty-five with a prominent Adam’s apple and too big eyes, stared out the rain-slicked window of the 905. The big bus swayed and jostled as it lumbered down Central Avenue, the movements strangely comforting, conducive to reflection…and self-doubt.
As if on cue, his phone buzzed, and a pit opened up in his stomach. He fumbled it out with long fingers and read the text. Are u almost here
His thumb hovered over the screen, but he did not reply. Part of him wanted to block the number, slink back home with his tail between his legs, and forget the whole thing. He could boot up his PS4 and play Red Dead Redemption or GTA V like always. Safe. Familiar. The thought, however, stirred a strange feeling in the pit of his stomach.
It was dread.
Every night, he did the same thing. He came home from work to his tiny prison cell apartment. He had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. He played video games until it was time to go to bed. The worst part of the whole night was when he turned off the TV and saw his murky reflection in the screen. Plaid. Scrawny. Disgusting. He hated being locked in that apartment, with its old smells and white walls, but he hated going out even more. At least in his hole, he was safe, like a mouse. No one hurt or lied to him there. No one gave him funny looks. No one rejected him. He was completely safe in his solitude, a wounded animal hiding in its den and licking its wounds.
He was wounded and he knew it.
And he hated himself for it. Hated that he wasn’t stronger or better. Hated that even though he tried so hard, everything he did fell apart…if it even came together in the first place, which it rarely did.
The phone buzzed again.
Just a question mark this time.
His heart began to race and a steely fist slowly closed around his lungs. He shifted uncomfortably in his seat and took a deep breath. He pictured himself alone in his little apartment. He loved the image, but he hated it too. Most nights, he didn’t mind being alone. He had to not mind it, because he didn’t have a choice. Some nights…some nights he didn’t want to be alone. Some nights he wanted warmth, he wanted tenderness…some nights, he wanted to be human.
Every so often, Dom would get the urge to find those things. They came less frequently than they did before, but unfortunately, they still came. He would create an account on Plenty of Fish and OKCupid, maybe some of the other sites as well. He would agonize over his stupid intro and his stupid list of hobbies. He would spend hours - literally hours - writing and rewriting them, trying at first to be serious, then light and funny, then cool, then aloof, then vulnerable. He would take the best possible pictures from the best possible angles, then upload them, never lingering over them because he hated the way he looked. He didn’t think he was ugly - mid was more like it - but apparently, he was ugly. Too ugly for love, too ugly even to talk to.
The ugly barnacle. So ugly that everyone died. The end.
All of Dom’s pictures were all selfies, of course. Guys he listened to on YouTube said he needed action shots, shots with friends, shots that showed women he had a life, was valued by those around him, and knew how to have fun. Too bad for him, he had no friends and no one valued him, not even his own mother. On the surface, maybe, but she had hurt him so many times over the years in so many ways that even the most devout son would stop and think.
It had to be selfies.
When his profile was in order - or as much in order as he could get it - he would start to browse. Dom knew his place and never messaged women who were too beautiful. He used to, but they never responded. He eventually began to skip their profiles with a pang of loss and a quiet what if? Now, he barely noticed them. Blonde. Petite. Blue eyes. Maybe she was a cheerleader at one time, maybe she was the type of girl who looked down her nose at guys like him. Maybe she was a sweetheart. In any case, he would never find out, so who cares?
He went for women he could realistically obtain…the type of women he’d dated and hooked up with in the past. Some were attractive in their own way, others were hard to look at, he wasn’t picky; he couldn’t afford to be picky. One woman he saw was a good three hundred pounds. She was nice and he liked her enough, but he lapsed into depression while they were dating and he never messaged her back…not that she made a huge effort to message him. Another was a pre-K teacher in her mid-thirties. Overweight with a big nose, glasses, and a plain face when she wasn’t wearing make-up. He liked her a lot and wanted to be with her, but after a month of weekend hookups, she said she didn’t love him. She told him she wanted a family - three kids, to be exact - but “changed her mind.” No, she didn’t. She just didn’t want those things with him.
Now she was in her late thirties, single, and having regrets.
She still wouldn’t settle for him, though.
Another woman he’d seen recently (six months ago) was fifty, but not unattractive. They texted for weeks, hot and heavy. She outright told him that she wanted to have sex with him. Said all sorts of nasty and sexual things. Their first (and only date) was her coming to his apartment. Instead of tender kisses, loving caresses, and intense emotions, they shared an awkward two hours on his couch. When he tried to hold her hand and put his arm around her, she stiffened. Not much, just a little. She said she “wasn’t ready.” He sat there and watched the flowers he’d gotten her wilt as she talked about her ex for an hour and a half, his arms pointedly crossed. He even leaned as far away from her as humanly possible, trying to communicate with his body language what he didn’t have the guts to communicate with his words: I’m uncomfortable, please leave. He planned to take her to a nice restaurant after they made love. Instead, he ordered something after she finally got the hint and left, eating alone like always.
After her, he deleted his profile (again) and resolved to never bother with dating again. Obviously there was something wrong with him. He saw guys who were uglier and more awkward than him with girlfriends, some actually stunning, but there was something about him in particular, something that repelled women…and men too.
Everyone.
It repelled everyone.
Maybe it was his self-loathing. After all, no one likes a sad sack. But that’s the thing: He was like this because of those experiences. It was a what came first, the chicken or the egg situation. Looking back, he had almost normal confidence at one point. Then all of this happened. The hundreds of messages he sent on the dating apps staying on read, unanswered, like he never sent them at all, like he was garbage unworthy of even a hello. The awkward dates. The occasional “success” that eventually fell apart…sometimes because of him, and sometimes because of them. The one girl who ran away from him when he tried to walk her to her car after a date. They didn’t click, he knew that, but he didn’t say or do anything creepy. Why did she do that? The girls who lead him on, talking about sex and sometimes even love but always had a reason they couldn’t meet.
There were other examples - many others - but it was all the same. Who cared?
Dom wanted to crawl back into his hole and stay there, to stop poking his head out and getting hurt. He wanted it so bad…but he was only human. Deep down, buried beneath layer after layer of scar tissue, there was still hope. Hope for love, for companionship, for acceptance, for intimacy and human touch. It was only an ember now, but even an ember is enough to spark a fire.
Some nights, he wanted to be safe. Other nights, he wanted to take a risk.
And this night was one of the latter.
Be there soon, he texted. He swallowed hard and wetted his lips. His heart was pounding faster and his bowels were loose. He really hoped this worked out. He didn’t think he could handle another rejection. If she turned him down, he’d probably go home and kill himself. Why go on like this?
He’d had that thought before…but he never followed through.
Maybe one day he’d actually shut the fuck up and do it already.
Maybe.
Ok :)
Her name was Heather and she was fat. She was not unattractive in the face and she wore her weight well, not that that mattered - he would take what he could get. They started talking on OKCupid last week and very soon, the conversation became sexual. He didn’t start it, though, she did. She was ahem very excited, she said. He liked to think that she was lonely, desperate, and wanted intimacy - any intimacy - just like him.
That really turned him on.
They agreed to meet, and now here he was, on the bus to her apartment on the other side of the city, hoping against hope that she didn’t hurt him too.
He put the phone away and stared straight ahead. The bus was nearly deserted, save for an old bag lady up front and a few Mexican guys in the back. Lights lined the bus’s roof, providing a cold, impersonal light. Dom took a deep breath and forced his dark emotions away. It was all on him to make this work. He would accept her fat, ugly, poor, and crippled, but he had to work to earn her love. He could do it.
When the bus finally reached his stop, he yanked the cord and got off. There was a plexiglass shelter lit by a single, lonely bulb. Trash littered the ground. Beyond the shelter, a park lay in darkness. Behind him, on the other side of the road, a housing project not unlike his own towered into the sky, lit up like a ship at sail. Dom swallowed his nerves and crossed the street. He found the door that she had directed him to use, and climbed the stairs. He expected trash, graffiti, and winos passed out on every landing. Instead, the stairwell was clean and deserted. His nerves welled as he climbed but he forced them down again. On the ninth floor, he went down the hall, battered on all sides by the stale smells of cooking and the murmur of TVs and voices coming from every apartment.
Dom paused at Apartment 237.
Heather’s.
You got this, he told himself.
And really, he did. Their plan - well, Heather’s, really - was simple and straightforward. She told him that she would leave the door unlocked. He was to come in, go to the bedroom, and she would be waiting for him. She said it was a fantasy of hers.
On some level, he knew all along that the whole setup sounded fishy. Was he being set up to get robbed? Would he walk in and get jumped by a bunch of Crips? He hesitated, but his need for love - and, yes, release - pushed him on.
He opened the door.
Inside, the apartment was small and messy, a living room to the right and a tiny kitchen to the left. The only light on was the one above the stove.
Everything else was in shadows.
Dom’s heart skipped a beat.
This didn’t feel right.
That thought was overpowered by the smell, a sickly sweet odor that suddenly seemed to be everywhere. His stomach twisted and he turned his head slightly to one side, as if to spare his nose. It smelled like something spoiled.
A voice spoke from the darkness, startling him. “I’m in here.”
It was light, airy, and cute.
For the last time, Dom hesitated. Some primal sense told him to turn around and leave…
…but he wanted to be loved.
Dom entered and shut the door behind him.
The smell was stronger. The atmosphere darker.
Ahead, he could barely make out an open doorway in the shadows.
He crossed to it.
The smell was overpowering here and Dom felt like he was going to puke. Any desire he had felt was gone, replaced only by revulsion and claustrophobia. It was cold, he realized, so cold that his teeth chattered.
Okay, fuck this.
He started to turn around, intent on leaving, but a small, white hand reached from the darkness. Icy fingertips brushed his cheek and his heart blasted into his throat.
Then she was there, her body pressing against his and her lips fused with his. The smell, the freezer chill, both stronger than ever.
They were both coming from her.
Her tongue hungrily lashed his own, and she pushed him against the wall. Her hands slipped under his shirt and pressed flat against his chest. They were so cold that he almost cried out.
Dom wanted to push her away, to run, but he didn’t. Instead, he froze up and allowed her to push him onto the bed. Was he too gutless to tell her no, the way he’d been too gutless to tell the woman who went on and on about her ex to shut up and leave? Did he secretly want to go through with this? He didn’t know, and he didn’t have time to figure it out. She was on top of him now, straddling him, his legs caged between her ample thighs. She grabbed his hands and pressed them to her bare breasts.
They were as cold as the rest of her.
She leaned down and kissed him again. He hadn’t noticed it before, but her tongue was…dry. Her mouth itself tasted strange. Off.
Heather broke from his lips and peppered kisses on his cheek and forehead, assaulting him with an intimacy that Dom no longer wanted.
Through it all, she was as silent as a tomb. She wasn’t panting or rasping with excitement. In fact, he didn’t think she was even breathing.
She brushed her lips along the exposed curve of his throat, and tingles of revulsion shot down his spine. She found his pulse and kissed it. Trembles of excitement raced through her body and she started to lap his neck like a dog.
Without warning, a fiery pinprick of pain exploded over him and Heather began to shake and pant. Dom cried out and tried to fight her off, but she was too heavy, too much.
With a tiny, mouse-like squeak - a sound of pitiable fear and resignation - Dom blacked out.
submitted by Flagg1991 to LetsReadOfficial [link] [comments]
As if on cue, his phone buzzed, and a pit opened up in his stomach. He fumbled it out with long fingers and read the text. Are u almost here
His thumb hovered over the screen, but he did not reply. Part of him wanted to block the number, slink back home with his tail between his legs, and forget the whole thing. He could boot up his PS4 and play Red Dead Redemption or GTA V like always. Safe. Familiar. The thought, however, stirred a strange feeling in the pit of his stomach.
It was dread.
Every night, he did the same thing. He came home from work to his tiny prison cell apartment. He had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. He played video games until it was time to go to bed. The worst part of the whole night was when he turned off the TV and saw his murky reflection in the screen. Plaid. Scrawny. Disgusting. He hated being locked in that apartment, with its old smells and white walls, but he hated going out even more. At least in his hole, he was safe, like a mouse. No one hurt or lied to him there. No one gave him funny looks. No one rejected him. He was completely safe in his solitude, a wounded animal hiding in its den and licking its wounds.
He was wounded and he knew it.
And he hated himself for it. Hated that he wasn’t stronger or better. Hated that even though he tried so hard, everything he did fell apart…if it even came together in the first place, which it rarely did.
The phone buzzed again.
Just a question mark this time.
His heart began to race and a steely fist slowly closed around his lungs. He shifted uncomfortably in his seat and took a deep breath. He pictured himself alone in his little apartment. He loved the image, but he hated it too. Most nights, he didn’t mind being alone. He had to not mind it, because he didn’t have a choice. Some nights…some nights he didn’t want to be alone. Some nights he wanted warmth, he wanted tenderness…some nights, he wanted to be human.
Every so often, Dom would get the urge to find those things. They came less frequently than they did before, but unfortunately, they still came. He would create an account on Plenty of Fish and OKCupid, maybe some of the other sites as well. He would agonize over his stupid intro and his stupid list of hobbies. He would spend hours - literally hours - writing and rewriting them, trying at first to be serious, then light and funny, then cool, then aloof, then vulnerable. He would take the best possible pictures from the best possible angles, then upload them, never lingering over them because he hated the way he looked. He didn’t think he was ugly - mid was more like it - but apparently, he was ugly. Too ugly for love, too ugly even to talk to.
The ugly barnacle. So ugly that everyone died. The end.
All of Dom’s pictures were all selfies, of course. Guys he listened to on YouTube said he needed action shots, shots with friends, shots that showed women he had a life, was valued by those around him, and knew how to have fun. Too bad for him, he had no friends and no one valued him, not even his own mother. On the surface, maybe, but she had hurt him so many times over the years in so many ways that even the most devout son would stop and think.
It had to be selfies.
When his profile was in order - or as much in order as he could get it - he would start to browse. Dom knew his place and never messaged women who were too beautiful. He used to, but they never responded. He eventually began to skip their profiles with a pang of loss and a quiet what if? Now, he barely noticed them. Blonde. Petite. Blue eyes. Maybe she was a cheerleader at one time, maybe she was the type of girl who looked down her nose at guys like him. Maybe she was a sweetheart. In any case, he would never find out, so who cares?
He went for women he could realistically obtain…the type of women he’d dated and hooked up with in the past. Some were attractive in their own way, others were hard to look at, he wasn’t picky; he couldn’t afford to be picky. One woman he saw was a good three hundred pounds. She was nice and he liked her enough, but he lapsed into depression while they were dating and he never messaged her back…not that she made a huge effort to message him. Another was a pre-K teacher in her mid-thirties. Overweight with a big nose, glasses, and a plain face when she wasn’t wearing make-up. He liked her a lot and wanted to be with her, but after a month of weekend hookups, she said she didn’t love him. She told him she wanted a family - three kids, to be exact - but “changed her mind.” No, she didn’t. She just didn’t want those things with him.
Now she was in her late thirties, single, and having regrets.
She still wouldn’t settle for him, though.
Another woman he’d seen recently (six months ago) was fifty, but not unattractive. They texted for weeks, hot and heavy. She outright told him that she wanted to have sex with him. Said all sorts of nasty and sexual things. Their first (and only date) was her coming to his apartment. Instead of tender kisses, loving caresses, and intense emotions, they shared an awkward two hours on his couch. When he tried to hold her hand and put his arm around her, she stiffened. Not much, just a little. She said she “wasn’t ready.” He sat there and watched the flowers he’d gotten her wilt as she talked about her ex for an hour and a half, his arms pointedly crossed. He even leaned as far away from her as humanly possible, trying to communicate with his body language what he didn’t have the guts to communicate with his words: I’m uncomfortable, please leave. He planned to take her to a nice restaurant after they made love. Instead, he ordered something after she finally got the hint and left, eating alone like always.
After her, he deleted his profile (again) and resolved to never bother with dating again. Obviously there was something wrong with him. He saw guys who were uglier and more awkward than him with girlfriends, some actually stunning, but there was something about him in particular, something that repelled women…and men too.
Everyone.
It repelled everyone.
Maybe it was his self-loathing. After all, no one likes a sad sack. But that’s the thing: He was like this because of those experiences. It was a what came first, the chicken or the egg situation. Looking back, he had almost normal confidence at one point. Then all of this happened. The hundreds of messages he sent on the dating apps staying on read, unanswered, like he never sent them at all, like he was garbage unworthy of even a hello. The awkward dates. The occasional “success” that eventually fell apart…sometimes because of him, and sometimes because of them. The one girl who ran away from him when he tried to walk her to her car after a date. They didn’t click, he knew that, but he didn’t say or do anything creepy. Why did she do that? The girls who lead him on, talking about sex and sometimes even love but always had a reason they couldn’t meet.
There were other examples - many others - but it was all the same. Who cared?
Dom wanted to crawl back into his hole and stay there, to stop poking his head out and getting hurt. He wanted it so bad…but he was only human. Deep down, buried beneath layer after layer of scar tissue, there was still hope. Hope for love, for companionship, for acceptance, for intimacy and human touch. It was only an ember now, but even an ember is enough to spark a fire.
Some nights, he wanted to be safe. Other nights, he wanted to take a risk.
And this night was one of the latter.
Be there soon, he texted. He swallowed hard and wetted his lips. His heart was pounding faster and his bowels were loose. He really hoped this worked out. He didn’t think he could handle another rejection. If she turned him down, he’d probably go home and kill himself. Why go on like this?
He’d had that thought before…but he never followed through.
Maybe one day he’d actually shut the fuck up and do it already.
Maybe.
Ok :)
Her name was Heather and she was fat. She was not unattractive in the face and she wore her weight well, not that that mattered - he would take what he could get. They started talking on OKCupid last week and very soon, the conversation became sexual. He didn’t start it, though, she did. She was ahem very excited, she said. He liked to think that she was lonely, desperate, and wanted intimacy - any intimacy - just like him.
That really turned him on.
They agreed to meet, and now here he was, on the bus to her apartment on the other side of the city, hoping against hope that she didn’t hurt him too.
He put the phone away and stared straight ahead. The bus was nearly deserted, save for an old bag lady up front and a few Mexican guys in the back. Lights lined the bus’s roof, providing a cold, impersonal light. Dom took a deep breath and forced his dark emotions away. It was all on him to make this work. He would accept her fat, ugly, poor, and crippled, but he had to work to earn her love. He could do it.
When the bus finally reached his stop, he yanked the cord and got off. There was a plexiglass shelter lit by a single, lonely bulb. Trash littered the ground. Beyond the shelter, a park lay in darkness. Behind him, on the other side of the road, a housing project not unlike his own towered into the sky, lit up like a ship at sail. Dom swallowed his nerves and crossed the street. He found the door that she had directed him to use, and climbed the stairs. He expected trash, graffiti, and winos passed out on every landing. Instead, the stairwell was clean and deserted. His nerves welled as he climbed but he forced them down again. On the ninth floor, he went down the hall, battered on all sides by the stale smells of cooking and the murmur of TVs and voices coming from every apartment.
Dom paused at Apartment 237.
Heather’s.
You got this, he told himself.
And really, he did. Their plan - well, Heather’s, really - was simple and straightforward. She told him that she would leave the door unlocked. He was to come in, go to the bedroom, and she would be waiting for him. She said it was a fantasy of hers.
On some level, he knew all along that the whole setup sounded fishy. Was he being set up to get robbed? Would he walk in and get jumped by a bunch of Crips? He hesitated, but his need for love - and, yes, release - pushed him on.
He opened the door.
Inside, the apartment was small and messy, a living room to the right and a tiny kitchen to the left. The only light on was the one above the stove.
Everything else was in shadows.
Dom’s heart skipped a beat.
This didn’t feel right.
That thought was overpowered by the smell, a sickly sweet odor that suddenly seemed to be everywhere. His stomach twisted and he turned his head slightly to one side, as if to spare his nose. It smelled like something spoiled.
A voice spoke from the darkness, startling him. “I’m in here.”
It was light, airy, and cute.
For the last time, Dom hesitated. Some primal sense told him to turn around and leave…
…but he wanted to be loved.
Dom entered and shut the door behind him.
The smell was stronger. The atmosphere darker.
Ahead, he could barely make out an open doorway in the shadows.
He crossed to it.
The smell was overpowering here and Dom felt like he was going to puke. Any desire he had felt was gone, replaced only by revulsion and claustrophobia. It was cold, he realized, so cold that his teeth chattered.
Okay, fuck this.
He started to turn around, intent on leaving, but a small, white hand reached from the darkness. Icy fingertips brushed his cheek and his heart blasted into his throat.
Then she was there, her body pressing against his and her lips fused with his. The smell, the freezer chill, both stronger than ever.
They were both coming from her.
Her tongue hungrily lashed his own, and she pushed him against the wall. Her hands slipped under his shirt and pressed flat against his chest. They were so cold that he almost cried out.
Dom wanted to push her away, to run, but he didn’t. Instead, he froze up and allowed her to push him onto the bed. Was he too gutless to tell her no, the way he’d been too gutless to tell the woman who went on and on about her ex to shut up and leave? Did he secretly want to go through with this? He didn’t know, and he didn’t have time to figure it out. She was on top of him now, straddling him, his legs caged between her ample thighs. She grabbed his hands and pressed them to her bare breasts.
They were as cold as the rest of her.
She leaned down and kissed him again. He hadn’t noticed it before, but her tongue was…dry. Her mouth itself tasted strange. Off.
Heather broke from his lips and peppered kisses on his cheek and forehead, assaulting him with an intimacy that Dom no longer wanted.
Through it all, she was as silent as a tomb. She wasn’t panting or rasping with excitement. In fact, he didn’t think she was even breathing.
She brushed her lips along the exposed curve of his throat, and tingles of revulsion shot down his spine. She found his pulse and kissed it. Trembles of excitement raced through her body and she started to lap his neck like a dog.
Without warning, a fiery pinprick of pain exploded over him and Heather began to shake and pant. Dom cried out and tried to fight her off, but she was too heavy, too much.
With a tiny, mouse-like squeak - a sound of pitiable fear and resignation - Dom blacked out.
2024.05.14 20:53 shaneka69 CANCER ZODIAC - UNEXPECTED INCOME! TAROT READING MAY 2024
CANCER ZODIAC TAROT READING - UNEXPECTED INCOME MAY 2024
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2024.05.14 20:50 autisticthrowaway117 How do I figure out how to dress/use make up to improve my looks when I have nobody irl who can teach me?
TLDR: How do I learn how to use make up and fashion to highlight the parts of me I like and to draw attention away from the parts I don't, when I don't have anybody irl who can teach me these things?
Hey Mom,
I'm going from a private program for autistic kids into a regular public high school because my parents just finalized their divorce and neither want to pay for the private school anymore. I'm pretty anxious about it. I've got a therapist who is working with me on social skills but he's a guy and I don't trust any advice he would give me on how to help with my "insecurities" (not because he's creepy or anything, he's great but I wouldn't call him at all fashion savvy). My mom has been super preoccupied with a new guy and my dad is depressed, a workaholic, and not able to help me here. I really wish I could go on Queer Eye and have them tell me what to do, but I've got no shot at that and wouldn't actually want to be on tv anyways, so I'm asking here instead.
So what I am hoping you can tell me mom is how do I dress or use make-up to deal with these features: my teeth are crooked and my parents won't pay for braces, I've got basically no lips, and I hate my pointy nose and chin. I do like my eyes but have to wear glasses because I can't do contacts and so I feel like all anyone can see when they look at me is my cheap glasses (my family can't really afford much right now) and then the rest of my face. I read some stuff about trying to highlight my eyes with make up but I don't know how to pick out the right colors for my skin or how to pick out the right make up style that I can both do and would actually help and not make things worse. I feel so stuck and have just been wearing a face mask to cover up my nose, mouth, and chin, and that's been fine at the private school where everybody's weird but I'm really afraid of getting picked on when I start at the public school.
I also hate my waist and shoulders. I've got the shape of a ruler, really tall and skinny, and have had lots people mistake me for a boy before because of no boobs or hips (I do like my butt though, so there's that.) I usually dress in a t-shirt and pants, which I know doesn't help, but I don't feel at all comfortable in skirts or shorts because of how skinny my legs are and picking out a dress by myself would be just too much. Plus, again, money. I also don't really trust my actual mom to help me dress in a way that wouldn't get me laughed at and I don't want to spend the little money I do have on clothes that I'm not sure would look good on me - hence this being stuck with pants and t-shirts because I don't know how to figure out if anything else looks good or not.
I know this is a lot and I doubt anyone can really give me too much help without seeing me, but I would really really appreciate any advice that you can give me mom. How do I learn how to use make up and fashion to highlight the parts of me I like and to draw attention away from the parts I don't, when I don't have anybody irl who can teach me these things? If you can give me any pointers at all, I would be so very appreciative, you have no idea. (FYI, watching neurotypical "get ready with me" type videos make me super anxious and shut down because everybody in them seem to do all this so easily and act like it just makes sense, which it just doesn't for me, and then I feel shitty, get depressed, and just give up.)
Thanks, Mom!
submitted by autisticthrowaway117 to MomForAMinute [link] [comments]
I'm going from a private program for autistic kids into a regular public high school because my parents just finalized their divorce and neither want to pay for the private school anymore. I'm pretty anxious about it. I've got a therapist who is working with me on social skills but he's a guy and I don't trust any advice he would give me on how to help with my "insecurities" (not because he's creepy or anything, he's great but I wouldn't call him at all fashion savvy). My mom has been super preoccupied with a new guy and my dad is depressed, a workaholic, and not able to help me here. I really wish I could go on Queer Eye and have them tell me what to do, but I've got no shot at that and wouldn't actually want to be on tv anyways, so I'm asking here instead.
So what I am hoping you can tell me mom is how do I dress or use make-up to deal with these features: my teeth are crooked and my parents won't pay for braces, I've got basically no lips, and I hate my pointy nose and chin. I do like my eyes but have to wear glasses because I can't do contacts and so I feel like all anyone can see when they look at me is my cheap glasses (my family can't really afford much right now) and then the rest of my face. I read some stuff about trying to highlight my eyes with make up but I don't know how to pick out the right colors for my skin or how to pick out the right make up style that I can both do and would actually help and not make things worse. I feel so stuck and have just been wearing a face mask to cover up my nose, mouth, and chin, and that's been fine at the private school where everybody's weird but I'm really afraid of getting picked on when I start at the public school.
I also hate my waist and shoulders. I've got the shape of a ruler, really tall and skinny, and have had lots people mistake me for a boy before because of no boobs or hips (I do like my butt though, so there's that.) I usually dress in a t-shirt and pants, which I know doesn't help, but I don't feel at all comfortable in skirts or shorts because of how skinny my legs are and picking out a dress by myself would be just too much. Plus, again, money. I also don't really trust my actual mom to help me dress in a way that wouldn't get me laughed at and I don't want to spend the little money I do have on clothes that I'm not sure would look good on me - hence this being stuck with pants and t-shirts because I don't know how to figure out if anything else looks good or not.
I know this is a lot and I doubt anyone can really give me too much help without seeing me, but I would really really appreciate any advice that you can give me mom. How do I learn how to use make up and fashion to highlight the parts of me I like and to draw attention away from the parts I don't, when I don't have anybody irl who can teach me these things? If you can give me any pointers at all, I would be so very appreciative, you have no idea. (FYI, watching neurotypical "get ready with me" type videos make me super anxious and shut down because everybody in them seem to do all this so easily and act like it just makes sense, which it just doesn't for me, and then I feel shitty, get depressed, and just give up.)
Thanks, Mom!
2024.05.14 20:49 analretardation6969 I (25f) is worried for my best friend (25f) What would you do?
My best friend has continually dated since she was in middle school, there hasn’t been a time since then that she hasn’t been with it at least talking to a guy. This isn’t coming from a place of judgement, but more so to give some backstory. I think everyone is wired differently, some people value being in a relationship and put that on top and others may not even be inclined to be in one at all. But her last relationship was rocky, it lasted almost four years and she told me when I helped her move out of their place when they broke up- “I want you to hold me accountable, I need to be alone for a while and think that I want to try being happy single”. After a few weeks she started snapping guys that we went to school with or mutual friends with a flirty undertone. I think that’s healthy for one because all these men are single and she deserves to have a little attention and two because she gets attached so easily maybe it could be “exposure” therapy in a way because these men weren’t dating her or hanging out with her at this time so I figured it was a great way for her to talk to guys without getting attached. That was until Brett, she snapped him for about a week. They made plans and he never followed through, she told me she had already started to develop feelings for him.
I also get attached easily. And I’m a different side of the coin, I haven’t been in a relationship for 5 years because my last one was exhausting and mentally debilitating. The last date I went on I fell really hard fast, because I was desperate for love and it was so unhealthy, I recognized my toxic actions and took a huge step back from dating. I know that I’m scared to be with anyone. I’m communicating this because I really do my best to be open, understanding and empathic to her plight. The last thing I want to do is shame her, or make her feel unheard.
This leads me to Josh, Josh and I have known each other for years. My best friend, Josh and I have ran in the same circles since highschool. I would consider him a good acquaintance and friend, the kind of friend that you b.s with at parties or mutual hangouts but aren’t necessarily close.
Josh asked me a couple years ago to go out for drinks, a date was hinted at. At this point I had been seeing someone for a couple months, it wasn’t necessarily inclusive yet but I didn’t feel right going and honestly I thought it was a great way out of denying the date because I honestly did not feel the same way toward Josh. I wasn’t surprised because I knew he had liked me in the past, but i conveyed my situation to him, appreciated his friendship but I had to decline the invitation. He took it like a champ and it wasn’t an issue. I know that you are the company that you keep, although Josh is a “friend” and we have great banter, I keep him at arms length for multiple reasons. One being he is misogynistic, I know that it’s not exactly high moral ground but as long as he’s not being an absolute pig, I excuse it because we’re not very close. And the handful of times he has said stuff about women that makes me uncomfortable enough to call him out, I do.
I had told my best friend about this when it happened and she almost seemed jealous, but it wasn’t a “oh someone asked you out, that’s cool” kind of jealousy. She had been unhappy in her relationship at this time for a while so I genuinely believe it was more so an envy to do with not being able to have the freedom to go on a date or talk to other men in that aspect.
About 4 months ago I got a text from her saying “so Josh asked me out for drinks”. My stomach dropped a bit, her being an anxious attachment type and him having so much toxic masculinity. I was immediately worried about how this will play out. But for context, I have not said anything inherently bad about him around her or the relationship that they have so far because however it plays out I don’t want him to to think I’m the bad guy and put seeds in her head or hypothetically isolate her from me.
He hasn’t put a label on their relationship the past 4 months, she’s been persistent in communicating that she wants one. The past 3 months she’s been staying at his place almost every night. She tells me this is the best she’s ever been treated. But I think that’s only the lover girl in her talking because I think he’s been manipulating her to an extent.
She told me that he’s been picking at her appearance, she has peach fuzz above her lip (as we ALL do!) and at dinner the other night she said he kept bringing up laser hair surgery and when she got defensive, he picked up on it and she told him why. He brushed it off and kind of doubled down.
There’s been more than a handful of things like that, but this next one is 90% of the reason that I’m making this post.
Last weekend they were laying in bed after sex and he was holding her, he said verbatim “I’m not as sexually attracted to you as I wish I was”.
What the hell??
She immediately pushed off of him and started crying. They went to a concert later, and the rest of the night he kept calling her pretty but she just didn’t want to hear it.
Now she’s been really insecure about herself since then, I think he was negging her. I went on here to look for advice, because we have so many mutual friends I’m cautious about what I say because of the principle of it. I don’t want her to think that I’m judging her. I just hate how he’s treating her in this entire thing. A chauvinistic pig.
P.s. I approached the comment about holding her accountable multiple times in the beginning but at a certain point I felt that she was adult and has to come to these decisions by herself. I’m still going to be there for her and tell her my honest opinion when she asks, but I realize I need to do it in the right way or it may do more harm than good.
P.s.s I wrote this on my work break so I’m sorry for any story confusion
submitted by analretardation6969 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
I also get attached easily. And I’m a different side of the coin, I haven’t been in a relationship for 5 years because my last one was exhausting and mentally debilitating. The last date I went on I fell really hard fast, because I was desperate for love and it was so unhealthy, I recognized my toxic actions and took a huge step back from dating. I know that I’m scared to be with anyone. I’m communicating this because I really do my best to be open, understanding and empathic to her plight. The last thing I want to do is shame her, or make her feel unheard.
This leads me to Josh, Josh and I have known each other for years. My best friend, Josh and I have ran in the same circles since highschool. I would consider him a good acquaintance and friend, the kind of friend that you b.s with at parties or mutual hangouts but aren’t necessarily close.
Josh asked me a couple years ago to go out for drinks, a date was hinted at. At this point I had been seeing someone for a couple months, it wasn’t necessarily inclusive yet but I didn’t feel right going and honestly I thought it was a great way out of denying the date because I honestly did not feel the same way toward Josh. I wasn’t surprised because I knew he had liked me in the past, but i conveyed my situation to him, appreciated his friendship but I had to decline the invitation. He took it like a champ and it wasn’t an issue. I know that you are the company that you keep, although Josh is a “friend” and we have great banter, I keep him at arms length for multiple reasons. One being he is misogynistic, I know that it’s not exactly high moral ground but as long as he’s not being an absolute pig, I excuse it because we’re not very close. And the handful of times he has said stuff about women that makes me uncomfortable enough to call him out, I do.
I had told my best friend about this when it happened and she almost seemed jealous, but it wasn’t a “oh someone asked you out, that’s cool” kind of jealousy. She had been unhappy in her relationship at this time for a while so I genuinely believe it was more so an envy to do with not being able to have the freedom to go on a date or talk to other men in that aspect.
About 4 months ago I got a text from her saying “so Josh asked me out for drinks”. My stomach dropped a bit, her being an anxious attachment type and him having so much toxic masculinity. I was immediately worried about how this will play out. But for context, I have not said anything inherently bad about him around her or the relationship that they have so far because however it plays out I don’t want him to to think I’m the bad guy and put seeds in her head or hypothetically isolate her from me.
He hasn’t put a label on their relationship the past 4 months, she’s been persistent in communicating that she wants one. The past 3 months she’s been staying at his place almost every night. She tells me this is the best she’s ever been treated. But I think that’s only the lover girl in her talking because I think he’s been manipulating her to an extent.
She told me that he’s been picking at her appearance, she has peach fuzz above her lip (as we ALL do!) and at dinner the other night she said he kept bringing up laser hair surgery and when she got defensive, he picked up on it and she told him why. He brushed it off and kind of doubled down.
There’s been more than a handful of things like that, but this next one is 90% of the reason that I’m making this post.
Last weekend they were laying in bed after sex and he was holding her, he said verbatim “I’m not as sexually attracted to you as I wish I was”.
What the hell??
She immediately pushed off of him and started crying. They went to a concert later, and the rest of the night he kept calling her pretty but she just didn’t want to hear it.
Now she’s been really insecure about herself since then, I think he was negging her. I went on here to look for advice, because we have so many mutual friends I’m cautious about what I say because of the principle of it. I don’t want her to think that I’m judging her. I just hate how he’s treating her in this entire thing. A chauvinistic pig.
P.s. I approached the comment about holding her accountable multiple times in the beginning but at a certain point I felt that she was adult and has to come to these decisions by herself. I’m still going to be there for her and tell her my honest opinion when she asks, but I realize I need to do it in the right way or it may do more harm than good.
P.s.s I wrote this on my work break so I’m sorry for any story confusion
2024.05.14 20:33 SoCalSuckler323 30 [m4f] #StudioCity - Just a down to earth local seeking the same…someone to share this new experience with
Just your average Stoner☁️\Gamer🎮 on a quest to find locals in my area that are into ANR or ABR. All shapes, sizes, colors, lactating and non-lactating welcome. Something Intimate, Nurturing and Platonic. To be more direct I’m looking for something long-term with one woman to share this experience with and learn all I can. I’m not here to jump from person to person. Looking to make a connection. And see where it goes.
-So I’m still fairly new to posts like this and I hope to reached the right partner who I can connect with. I’m on an adventure to find my very first Adult Nursing Relationship or Adult Breastfeeding Relationship with a kind soul who innocently would like the same. NO SEX. Tho I am open to the discussion of other activities…it’s not likely. I prefer a safe and relaxed environment as I am extremely new to this I will need to ease into it. All I ask is for your patience and understanding as we venture forward.
-A little about me: Im 30, I have my tongue pierced(bonus for you😋) I’m shy, reserved, and playful. I’m 5’10 not in shape but also not fat sort of in between like a husky build or a dad bod. I joke around often and always find ways to make myself laugh. I’m a light skinned mixed baby who has longish curly hair. I do send pics upon request so feel free to ask for them. I like to chat with like minded people so if you are just here to chat we can do that also. I’m open to online relationships also. Im DDF and hygienic and expect the same from my partner. Im a big time cuddle bug sometimes it’s all you need is to be wrapped around each other, legs intertwined and arms around one another while I tend to your bosom…I’m also an introvert and very much enjoy my own company as I’m used to being alone. I do have roommates but they are often out of the house leaving me alone to freely do as I wish without judgment like walk around naked or whatever lol.
-Anyways I’m not looking for anything specific in the looks department. I’m more interested in how you would nurse me if we did meet…in my head I see the scenario where I’m laying on my back with my head on your lap as you gently rub your fingers thru my hair and gently ease your breast against my face and slowly slide your nipple across my lips and into my mouth tho it’s just a jumping of point we can definitely experiment with different positions. I am 420 friendly so we can definitely share a joint or bowl, play some music, or watch some tv, passing that green back and forth while I suckle your savory breast like the good boy I am for you. If this sounds something you would be into then maybe we should have a conversation about our shared interests so send me a message and let’s see where it takes us.
submitted by SoCalSuckler323 to losangeles_hookups [link] [comments]
-So I’m still fairly new to posts like this and I hope to reached the right partner who I can connect with. I’m on an adventure to find my very first Adult Nursing Relationship or Adult Breastfeeding Relationship with a kind soul who innocently would like the same. NO SEX. Tho I am open to the discussion of other activities…it’s not likely. I prefer a safe and relaxed environment as I am extremely new to this I will need to ease into it. All I ask is for your patience and understanding as we venture forward.
-A little about me: Im 30, I have my tongue pierced(bonus for you😋) I’m shy, reserved, and playful. I’m 5’10 not in shape but also not fat sort of in between like a husky build or a dad bod. I joke around often and always find ways to make myself laugh. I’m a light skinned mixed baby who has longish curly hair. I do send pics upon request so feel free to ask for them. I like to chat with like minded people so if you are just here to chat we can do that also. I’m open to online relationships also. Im DDF and hygienic and expect the same from my partner. Im a big time cuddle bug sometimes it’s all you need is to be wrapped around each other, legs intertwined and arms around one another while I tend to your bosom…I’m also an introvert and very much enjoy my own company as I’m used to being alone. I do have roommates but they are often out of the house leaving me alone to freely do as I wish without judgment like walk around naked or whatever lol.
-Anyways I’m not looking for anything specific in the looks department. I’m more interested in how you would nurse me if we did meet…in my head I see the scenario where I’m laying on my back with my head on your lap as you gently rub your fingers thru my hair and gently ease your breast against my face and slowly slide your nipple across my lips and into my mouth tho it’s just a jumping of point we can definitely experiment with different positions. I am 420 friendly so we can definitely share a joint or bowl, play some music, or watch some tv, passing that green back and forth while I suckle your savory breast like the good boy I am for you. If this sounds something you would be into then maybe we should have a conversation about our shared interests so send me a message and let’s see where it takes us.
2024.05.14 20:32 BoozeLikeFrank Inconsistency
Now I know this show is ripe with inconsistencies throughout. One I noticed today on my 20-something’th watch through was in S5E9 Lip meets Joaquin at college and they start to talk about hacking. Lip asks Joaquin if he is able to hack the schools registrar to say he paid his tuition in full and Joaquin seems interested. He admits he doesn’t have a computer but they could hack at the computer lab because it would “make it more fun”. Lip declines this offer and is left on his own. Not two scenes later Lip is talking to Kev and says “I just spent hours trying to hack the school system in the computer lab”. I can understand an inconsistency from one episode into another but this was like 2 scenes apart from the first scene. So Lip declines the offer because it’s dangerous but he is fully okay with doing it himself despite not knowing how? Maybe it was a pride thing but I feel like it was just lazy writing above all else.
submitted by BoozeLikeFrank to shameless [link] [comments]
2024.05.14 20:00 Inciter_of_vibe Cyberpunk 2077 Analog Movement with Wooting Keyboard Guide, Updated for Patch 2.12
 | Hi all, this is a guide on setting up analog walking and driving for Cyberpunk 2077 with the analog capability in a Wooting Keyboard (or other analog-capable keyboard depending on if you can replicate the advanced key setup). As the Wooting Keyboard allows you to "spoof" controller inputs due to the analog nature of its magnetic switches, you can setup many games to allow you to moderate your speed based on how far down you press the key, rather than simply being binary like "walk" or "don't walk". submitted by Inciter_of_vibe to WootingKB [link] [comments] This guide serves as an update to the original written here, because the original was written 3 years ago and has outdated mappings/keybindings, and the author had since had their account deleted. Additionally, the original sets up the movement for walking and driving both on one joystick, instead of two, and this is an issue as explained below: Why two joysticks?It is much easier to setup the movement for walking and driving to only use the left joystick, but there is a downside. If you are driving a vehicle, and you accelerate (Right Trigger via the W key), and try to turn left or right at the same time (left joystick left / right via the A / D key), you will find that you will only be able to make very wide turns, despite pressing the A / D key to the maximum. This is because, due to the setup for walking, the W key not only activates Right Trigger as needed for vehicle acceleration, but also moves the left joystick up so that you can walk forward.This means that you unintentionally move the left joystick up as you accelerate, which limits how much the left joystick is able to move left or right, as its range is confined to a circle. The first pictures show the wheel and left joystick when you only press the W key (aka accelerate) https://preview.redd.it/n8qeqdj1nf0d1.png?width=1280&format=png&auto=webp&s=bd560f0f9837784d6a2aee441dcd3c626f6df5d2 https://preview.redd.it/5pjep2l3nf0d1.png?width=478&format=png&auto=webp&s=7e73e655b3e075fca9c30f598b0657286331db27 The second pictures show the wheel and left joystick when you press both the W and D key (aka accelerate + turn right) https://preview.redd.it/0ypkjcn5nf0d1.png?width=1280&format=png&auto=webp&s=33dcf2d801cea0e603df82e211ebff20d14ee718 https://preview.redd.it/szuyhfp6nf0d1.png?width=460&format=png&auto=webp&s=ed9b60982f677106a137652ec495391ea2753f60 The third pictures show the wheel and left joystick when you only press the D key (aka turn right) https://preview.redd.it/qrilweq7nf0d1.png?width=1280&format=png&auto=webp&s=6a80144eaf5230ce3985e57477ae6bb6b322ddb4 https://preview.redd.it/usuyiao8nf0d1.png?width=458&format=png&auto=webp&s=0aa8c87aa40405e7f1e7ba5bef039e57cadd1b74 The fix for this that I found, as the gamepad tester screenshots imply, is to set the steering control to the right joystick instead of the left joystick, and leave the left joystick solely for walking. This is done specifically by setting the "LeftX_Axis_Vehicle" mapping/keybind to use the "IK_Pad_RightAxisX" controller input instead of "IK_Pad_LeftAxisX". This setup assumes that you will use the analog controls for walking and driving (+ a few minor things like extra photo-mode control) and regular keyboard input for everything else, preserving the use of the regular WASD keys. WOOTING / KEYBOARD SETUP:First, in the main Wootility settings, enable the Xbox Controller:https://preview.redd.it/8y2bfi1anf0d1.png?width=882&format=png&auto=webp&s=fa711861e6d7bd36686429b0a9d252c3d7d7ca33 Make a new profile dedicated to this game, then setup the following advanced keys in the "Advanced Keys" section: https://preview.redd.it/hx3uc8abnf0d1.png?width=804&format=png&auto=webp&s=2abe5cc06018a85f287ed838826f0e5f1851c3a4 Then make sure the settings are set like this in the "Gamepad Mapping" section: https://preview.redd.it/kfml1ppcnf0d1.png?width=580&format=png&auto=webp&s=d00a2117b6f40959096778e1fda098bafee21c53 You may change the curve in "Analog Curve" but I cannot recommend a specific curve to follow CYBERPUNK SETUP:This is for Steam, if you are on GOG or another platform you will need to figure these steps out on our ownRight click on the game in your steam library, hover over "Manage" and click on "Browse local files" to open the game's directory folder: https://preview.redd.it/qi1q9imfnf0d1.png?width=453&format=png&auto=webp&s=80a6299fdd8f0c6b922bd1736055285407777691 While you're here, also make sure steam input is enabled for Cyberpunk 2077, by instead clicking on "Properties..." and going to the following setting: https://preview.redd.it/m3pxxslgnf0d1.png?width=841&format=png&auto=webp&s=17dff4691214417af4ad0d99f61732928667c892 Once you're in the "Cyberpunk 2077" folder, open the "r6" folder, then open "config", then either replace the inputUserMappings.xml file with the one provided or open it with a text editor and make the changes listed below. https://preview.redd.it/qocw5vqhnf0d1.png?width=780&format=png&auto=webp&s=8671e843bb6c1a07d043e88fd8beb5574b812d9a Here's the file with all of the edits implemented, rename the file to remove the ".Analog.txt" part before replacing it with the one in the game folder: https://pastebin.com/L7swPDVv Otherwise, here are the changes you will need to make in the file. Beware, its a big list... 1. For: Remove: 2. For: Remove: For: Remove: 4. For: Remove: 5. For: Remove: 6. For: Remove: 7. For: Remove: 8. For: Remove: 9. For: Remove: 10. For: Remove: 11. For: Remove: 12. For: Remove: 13. For: Remove: 14. For: Remove: 15. For: Remove: 16. For: Remove: 17. For: Remove: 18. For: Remove: 19. For: Remove: 20. For: MODIFY: INTO: And remove: 21. For: Remove: 22. For: Remove: 23. For: Remove: 24. For: Remove: 25. For: Remove: 26. For: Remove: 27. For: Remove: 28. For: Remove: 29. For: Remove: 30. For: Remove: 31. For: Remove: 32. For: Remove: 33. For: Remove: 34. For: Remove: 35. For: Remove: 36. For: Remove: 37. For: Remove: 38. For: Remove: 39. For: Remove: 40. For: Remove: 41. For: Remove: 42. For: Remove: 43. For: Remove: 44. For: Remove: 45. For: Remove: Here is a backup of the original file if you messed up or wish to undo these changes (or you can delete the file from the game folder and verify integrity of game files thru steam): https://pastebin.com/cpFyp39k CONCLUSION:That is all that is to it! While the original guide said to change the keybinds for walking / driving to something other than the WASD keys ingame, this seems to be unnecessary as the setup still works despite not changing them.Issues:
Thanks for reading, let me know of any suggestions or issues |
2024.05.14 19:59 Inciter_of_vibe Cyberpunk 2077 Analog Movement with Wooting Keyboard Guide, Updated for Patch 2.12
 | Hi all, this is a guide on setting up analog walking and driving for Cyberpunk 2077 with the analog capability in a Wooting Keyboard (or other analog-capable keyboard depending on if you can replicate the advanced key setup). As the Wooting Keyboard allows you to "spoof" controller inputs due to the analog nature of its magnetic switches, you can setup many games to allow you to moderate your speed based on how far down you press the key, rather than simply being binary like "walk" or "don't walk". submitted by Inciter_of_vibe to cyberpunkgame [link] [comments] This guide serves as an update to the original written here, because the original was written 3 years ago and has outdated mappings/keybindings, and the author had since had their account deleted. Additionally, the original sets up the movement for walking and driving both on one joystick, instead of two, and this is an issue as explained below: Why two joysticks?It is much easier to setup the movement for walking and driving to only use the left joystick, but there is a downside. If you are driving a vehicle, and you accelerate (Right Trigger via the W key), and try to turn left or right at the same time (left joystick left / right via the A / D key), you will find that you will only be able to make very wide turns, despite pressing the A / D key to the maximum. This is because, due to the setup for walking, the W key not only activates Right Trigger as needed for vehicle acceleration, but also moves the left joystick up so that you can walk forward.This means that you unintentionally move the left joystick up as you accelerate, which limits how much the left joystick is able to move left or right, as its range is confined to a circle. The first pictures show the wheel and left joystick when you only press the W key (aka accelerate) https://preview.redd.it/yq7raji3mf0d1.png?width=1280&format=png&auto=webp&s=759deeb62cf39ade12e7993785e5427824984008 https://preview.redd.it/2obnglh5mf0d1.png?width=478&format=png&auto=webp&s=116706770a50fd4bdff7062090c49f23dc373a5e The second pictures show the wheel and left joystick when you press both the W and D key (aka accelerate + turn right) https://preview.redd.it/yvdz8fi8mf0d1.png?width=1280&format=png&auto=webp&s=21e497935e71173b066cc6973af92f8513d2b9a1 https://preview.redd.it/sibz4x3amf0d1.png?width=460&format=png&auto=webp&s=2c46450a9d013b7a32dcfbe5a2afa0048ca0e5f1 The third pictures show the wheel and left joystick when you only press the D key (aka turn right) https://preview.redd.it/xq64sgmbmf0d1.png?width=1280&format=png&auto=webp&s=2149b504e73af093c5df498cd79c3e979bc7f325 https://preview.redd.it/g3f4nb7dmf0d1.png?width=458&format=png&auto=webp&s=4ad6e2368cb78df6df8decba6269a21ec717a5b8 The fix for this that I found, as the gamepad tester screenshots imply, is to set the steering control to the right joystick instead of the left joystick, and leave the left joystick solely for walking. This is done specifically by setting the "LeftX_Axis_Vehicle" mapping/keybind to use the "IK_Pad_RightAxisX" controller input instead of "IK_Pad_LeftAxisX". This setup assumes that you will use the analog controls for walking and driving (+ a few minor things like extra photo-mode control) and regular keyboard input for everything else, preserving the use of the regular WASD keys. WOOTING / KEYBOARD SETUP:First, in the main Wootility settings, enable the Xbox Controller:https://preview.redd.it/x7lo9upemf0d1.png?width=882&format=png&auto=webp&s=6b0d8895d46fdff2f0c7afca3918867e4e78e0be Make a new profile dedicated to this game, then setup the following advanced keys in the "Advanced Keys" section: https://preview.redd.it/cie8ot8gmf0d1.png?width=804&format=png&auto=webp&s=8e56c8217706b3c651c6bc555bdf3193da2bd353 Then make sure the settings are set like this in the "Gamepad Mapping" section: You may change the curve in "Analog Curve" but I cannot recommend a specific curve to follow https://preview.redd.it/0k79puphmf0d1.png?width=580&format=png&auto=webp&s=64d231aa62c6390903eceb13a2b5ca73b7f350f0 CYBERPUNK SETUP:This is for Steam, if you are on GOG or another platform you will need to figure these steps out on our ownRight click on the game in your steam library, hover over "Manage" and click on "Browse local files" to open the game's directory folder: https://preview.redd.it/mo7i0p9jmf0d1.png?width=453&format=png&auto=webp&s=89bcff8d0fd6fa8235e09b99058c4067582f8d97 While you're here, also make sure steam input is enabled for Cyberpunk 2077, by instead clicking on "Properties..." and going to the following setting: https://preview.redd.it/vkbd1uakmf0d1.png?width=841&format=png&auto=webp&s=54e76f9c66b441d1100561a1b3ade4fee27563d1 Once you're in the "Cyberpunk 2077" folder, open the "r6" folder, then open "config", then either replace the inputUserMappings.xml file with the one provided or open it with a text editor and make the changes listed below. https://preview.redd.it/69fa2wjlmf0d1.png?width=780&format=png&auto=webp&s=7cdb16399103018098aba1ec8167f6ca6445653c Here's the file with all of the edits implemented, rename the file to remove the ".Analog.txt" part before replacing it with the one in the game folder: https://pastebin.com/L7swPDVv Otherwise, here are the changes you will need to make in the file. Beware, its a big list... 1. For: Remove: 2. For: Remove: For: Remove: 4. For: Remove: 5. For: Remove: 6. For: Remove: 7. For: Remove: 8. For: Remove: 9. For: Remove: 10. For: Remove: 11. For: Remove: 12. For: Remove: 13. For: Remove: 14. For: Remove: 15. For: Remove: 16. For: Remove: 17. For: Remove: 18. For: Remove: 19. For: Remove: 20. For: MODIFY: INTO: And remove: 21. For: Remove: 22. For: Remove: 23. For: Remove: 24. For: Remove: 25. For: Remove: 26. For: Remove: 27. For: Remove: 28. For: Remove: 29. For: Remove: 30. For: Remove: 31. For: Remove: 32. For: Remove: 33. For: Remove: 34. For: Remove: 35. For: Remove: 36. For: Remove: 37. For: Remove: 38. For: Remove: 39. For: Remove: 40. For: Remove: 41. For: Remove: 42. For: Remove: 43. For: Remove: 44. For: Remove: 45. For: Remove: Here is a backup of the original file if you messed up or wish to undo these changes (or you can delete the file from the game folder and verify integrity of game files thru steam): https://pastebin.com/cpFyp39k CONCLUSION:That is all that is to it! While the original guide said to change the keybinds for walking / driving to something other than the WASD keys ingame, this seems to be unnecessary as the setup still works despite not changing them.Issues:
Thanks for reading, let me know of any suggestions or issues |
2024.05.14 19:53 shaneka69 CANCER ZODIAC - UNEXPECTED INCOME! TAROT READING MAY 2024
CANCER ZODIAC TAROT READING - UNEXPECTED INCOME MAY 2024
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2024.05.14 19:48 dosangst NuPhy is on the fence between being another fly by night keyboard shop or an actual trusted and reliable business. Below I outline items that NuPhy needs to institute if they intend to retain this community's respect and business. Please add any items I may have missed. Discussion/thoughts welcome.
- QMK/VIA keyboards - Firmware must be updated on both the source tree and the downloadable file with a change log
- QMK/VIA keyboards must include the MCU used as well as the amount of RAM on the MCU. This must also include the number of layers available
- Newly released keyboards must ship in a FIFO order. People receiving units they just purchased, while people who pre-ordered keyboards are still waiting for their shipment is not acceptable. All orders must include a "ship by" date, with a window of delivery time based on region
- NuPhy needs to provide a US/EU warehouse for returns; shipping back to China is not an acceptable practice
- NuPhy needs to institute a working and visible ticket system for orders, products, pre and post sales support; Discord is not meant to replace a ticketing system, it is meant to be a community discussion platform
- New keyboards must include dates when they will be available in regional marketplaces like Amazon. Many people would rather order from a trusted vendor
- NuPhy must publish layouts with each keyboard; which keycap sets will fit, any extra or non-standard keys that will be needed
- NuPhy must provide a list of compatible switches, especially when listing low profile keyboards
- NuPhy must be swift to respond to firmware issues; provide triage, and an ETA of when issues will be repaired, i.e. double input issues
- NuPhy needs to provide a clearly written and legally binding warranty. Too many customers are being turned down when their keyboard either arrives DOA or stops working after a few days. This warranty must be clear as to what is covered by NuPhy and what is required by customers in order to make a warranty claim that does not get lost in a black hole
- NuPhy must provide clear instructions, especially with QMK/VIA keyboards as to how Windows and Mac layers are handled (which layer is the default Windows layer, default Mac layer). This should be included with each and every change log
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- NuPhy needs to list and link alternative QMK/VIA firmware files by community members
- NuPhy needs to abide by QMK's MIT, BSD, Apache, and GNU GPL as well as register their keyboards with VIA's database to avoid the need for VIA JSON files - If NuPhy refuses to do this, then they cannot list their keyboards as QMK/VIA products
2024.05.14 19:39 PhantasmagoriaLuna Phantasphere- Genocide Reigns Part 2
Genocide looked to the sky. He thought of his mentor. The one who had saved him. He remembered his childhood. How powerless he was. He remembered the anger. He never wanted to hurt anybody. He thought of all the times he showed compassion. How much they hurt him for it. He saw the world before him, a graveyard. Humans. People that were supposed to be made in the image of some divine creator. They were but maggots feasting upon his remains. They ate away at his very being until nothing human remained. His thoughts were no longer his own. He had no joys in life that mattered. He hated humanity more than he could love anything about himself. He remember his first killing spree. Being gunned down by police. Left for dead. He remembered a hooded figure moving towards him. Getting closer the more he neared his death. He saw its pale face. Its impossibly black eyes. It was a man. This figure in question appeared to be of Japanese nationality with long, straight, loose hair. It emanated extreme malice. It offered him a choice. A purpose. Power. He thought the figure a reaper but it identified itself as Amakusa Masataka. Masataka guided him on how to kill and gave him specific locations to kill people in. In a sense, he became a hitman for quotas of people. He inquired what Masataka was. The presence of evil, his ability to appear and disappear at will, how he could control what people could see him and what people couldn't. While vague, years of killing for this being offered some insight. Amakusa Masataka belonged to a group of people not of this world. His people had been corrupted by a dark force long ago and had aligned themselves with the warlord who had subjugated their version of Japan. Their dark high priest assisted the warlord along with two others. These four rulers in turn served a larger order. The four were tasked with bringing about the end of the current world as an act of retribution for some fallen deity. Masataka's people acted as covert operatives for this empire. They were feared across the land and were collectively referred to as "Shinigami". An agent of the coming apocalypse, a servant of evil possessed by the will of those gods of death, Genocide would walk the earth.
Genocide stepped toward the station. A police cruiser rammed into him. He pulled out a knife and stabbed the hood of the car. The inhuman force of the knife created sparks which burst the engine into flames. The car crashed into a streetlight and exploded. A second cruiser neared the scene. No way a man could have done this. Yet still, out of the fires Genocide strode forth. It set upon the second vehicle, shooting out it's tires while jumping 9 feet into the air. The car tries to reverse but crashes into a wall. Genocide lands on the hood and kicks through the front window. Glass shatters under its boot, blinding the two officers inside. Genocide shoots one of the officers with a shotgun, killing him. The second officer in the passenger seat readies his pistol and takes aim. Only two shots fired, both directed at Genocide's head. It casually cocks its neck to avoid them. Then it grabs the officer's arm, breaking it. Genocide uses its free hand to grab the officer's head and bangs it into the dashboard no less than 5 times. The skull is shattered on the final impact. Genocide jumps off the car and continues on his mission.
Detective Evans speaks through a megaphone," This is your first and final warning. Stand down or we will use any and all means at our disposal to put you down." Genocide dropped its shotgun and raised its hands. A group of five SWAT team members rushed out the station, surrounding Genocide with riot shields. An officer accompanies them, edging behind the figure to apply handcuffs. Suddenly, Genocide springs to life , grabbing the officer behind him. He flips the officer over his head, slamming him into the pavement at his feet. Then Genocide stomps his head causing it to burst. Genocide drops a flash bomb from his coat sleeve, blinding the SWAT team as he draws his knife. He drives it into one SWAT member, the knife puncturing the shield and piercing his chest. Genocide kicks the corpse away withdrawing his knife. He goes to another, this time using the end of his boot toe in a rising kick to disarm their shield. He grabs them by the throat and drives the knife slowly into their eye socket. Another is tackled to the ground and beaten to death despite still being under the shield. Another is picked up and thrown into the fires still burning from the first auto incident. In no time, Genocide stood before an indistinguishable mass of gore, blood streaking across his black leather outfit. He laughed" So this is all you can give me. I'm not entertained." Officers took aim from the station windows, and snipers did so from other rooftops. Genocide laughed maniacally as he was rained down upon from all sides by a hailstorm of bullets. His body convulsed, but he did not fall. Moments more and he was on his knees. Still though, their efforts were futile. Gracia looked out and saw a black mist coalescing around the man in black. His blood. Blood erupted from his body only to transform into this dark mist that reentered his wounds. Genocide screamed. No. It was just an elevated pitch in his laughter. Optimism failed everyone yet again. Gracia saw Genocide holding something in his right hand. She could only make out a beeping red light. Genocide pushed the button triggering the carefully concealed explosives he laid in preparation for this event. C4 explosives went off in all the places he saw fit. The sniping posts he couldn't reach. The assault of lead lightened. Then Genocide drew an RPG from...somewhere. He collected himself and fired at the station's entrance. The explosion shook the station. From inside, the lights began to flicker. Communications were down on all fronts. Had he modified the rocket with some type of EMP? Not good. Amisdst the confusion Genocide entered using smoke bombs to mask his presence. Moving like a shadow, he killed everyone in the lobby silently with his knife. He made his way to the holding cells. Still they chanted. Still they praised. Still they raved for the arrival of genocide. Genocide shot the lock opening the cell. Jim Jimenez walked out and bowed before his master. Genocide smiled. He couldn't have imagined how proficient he had gotten with possession. Well, not quite possession. He had known of the Shinigami's ability to share their thoughts and emotions with humans. Shinigami like his mentor were ancient. They had so many years of memories, such strong a hatred for life that they overwhelmed the personality of the victim. The victim sees themselves as one of them. Shinigami can't force the will of the victim, so they find those who are already similar to them in some way. Genocide found the collective universal distrust of police to be a prime sentiment to capitalize on. He armed the inmates, infecting them with samples of his own dark essence.One particular inmate caught Genocide's eye. He knew the man's work. An arsonist. The one whom he recalls was responsible for blowing up his first car way back in high school. Rather than a standard firearm, Genocide gave the man a random assortment of grenades containing a special surprise. Genocide showed them visions of anarchy, of sending a message to a society that used and disregarded them. While this was also true of how he felt, years of living in darkness had changed him. He needed no purpose. No end goal. No justification. He just wanted to watch the world burn.
Genocide's small army broke off to engage several different wings of the station. Genocide went to the security room. He found Wayne, his informant, playing some FPS on one of the monitors. Wayne took of his headphones and asked," You kill everyone yet?" Genocide responded," No. You should get going before that happens. Your life becomes fair game if I run out of pigs to cook." Wayne clapped his hands, "Aight, GC my man, say less." He packed his things and left. Genocide drew a twin pair of handguns and laid waste to the station. He followed a group that took cover in the men's restroom. Kicking open multiple stalls he was surprised to find...nothing. Where had they gone? He turned around and saw his mentor, Masataka, smiling at him. It looked like him. Long, dark hair, black clothing, and soulless, empty eyes. But it wasn't. It was Genocide's own reflection in the mirror. Genocide smiled. He didn't notice the changes at first. They must have happened gradually. Subconsciously. From the final stall, an officer sprung into action, rushing Genocide, hitting him point blank with a shockgun round. Genocide felt the tingling sensation electrifying his body and grew numb. In spite of the pain, he took a single step. Then, another. He came within striking range of the officer and snatched the shockgun. Two more officers erupted from another stall, battering him with baton strikes. Genocide felt nothing. He clutched the shockgun in his hand like a bat and went to work pulverizing his attackers. An officer kicked in the bathroom door, a woman holding a pistol. She fired multiple times to no effect. Genocide stood covered in blood. He even let her reload. Twice. He wanted to see her despair. Her hopelessness. He walked towards her, shrugging off bullets as they pierced his body. His wounds healed nigh instantly due to the dark essence he had been imbued with. He held her face with both hands, lifting her body off the ground. As she screamed, he used her head to shatter the restroom mirror, running down the full length of it while smashing her into it at several points. He dropped the remains of what he held, washed his hands with soap, dried them, then exited the restroom.
The inmates that rallied for the cause of genocide attacked the station. Fortunately, they were nowhere near Genocide in terms of power and only carried one type of firearm each. They shared his healing ability but could be killed quite easily. Gracia encountered a sniper on the end or a west wing hallway. Other officers waited behind corners unable to get close. Gracia noticed the faulty lighting. In this hallway, the lights flickered in intervals of 3 seconds. Finding a pattern and timing her movements, she rushed the sniper at the exact moment the lights went out. Running the length of the hall, Gracia zigzagged, dodging the sniper inmate's bullets. She jumped on a wall, ran 3 feet on it, then kicked off it, pouncing on the assailant. She fired five shots into him, making sure to hit the brain and the heart. Two severe injuries that were impossible for Shinigami essence to heal simultaneously. Elsewhere, Evans took on another escaped inmate. A vehicular arsonist named Carson. Carson had a bag filled with an assortment of different grenades and was happily giving them out like candy on Halloween. "A flash bang here, a bit of tear gas there. Oh. Wait! Was that an ice grenade? Did the explosion freeze your leg to the floor? Whoops. Maybe a fire grenade will melt that for you. Hold on let me get one fore you," Carson rambled gleefully. Evans looked at the carnage before him. Officers burning. Officers partially frozen in blocks of ice. He took a breath and aimed his wristgun. He steadied his right forearm. Carson readied to throw a random grenade. Evans shot it the moment it left Carson's hand. The grenade exploded directly in front of Carson. Both Evans and Carson looked at each other in shock. Confetti. A party grenade? Carson quickly fumbled for another but was tackled and restrained by several officers. Meanwhile in the South wing, Lary had some colleagues set a trap for another shotgun toting inmate. He had them bait the inmate and flee. Giving chase he turned a corner and ran straight into Lary's fist. The inmate recovered and motioned to shoot Lary. "Let's tango. " Lary gave the code word. Nearby officers activated a device. A signal jammer of sorts. The inmate shoved the barrel of his gun into Lary's gut and pulled the trigger. Nothing. The special signal jammer in question was designed for firearms. It was a last resort as it left officers just as defenseless. Lary was having fun. He boxed the inmate in hand to hand combat. Despite the inmate's enhanced strength, Lary's technique pulled through. Lary ducked under one of the inmate's wide punches and did some type of rising uppercut where he jumped off the ground while spinning. One of the other officers whispered" The rising dragon." Lary smiled giving a thumbs up" Yeah, it was a rising dragon uppercut. Saw it in one O my kid's vidya games. Thought I'd try it out while I'm jacked on adrenaline".
Jim Jimenez looked long and hard at himself in the mirror. He was in the women's restroom. Some brainless woman had broken the men's restroom mirror with her face. For the first time in a long while Jim could think clearly. He was becoming sane. At the least he was no longer a raving lunatic. The life essence of the dark gods had healed the wounds to both his body and his mind. He saw his face, his scraggly dirty beard. He found a razor and shaved. He trimmed his beard somewhat. He liked it. He washed his hair. It fell down his face like silk, no longer greasy. His bloodshot eyes once burning with crazed intensity had cooled. He blinked. Just for a second, he saw the man known as Genocide. The man that attacked him. The one that killed him and gave him new life. The drug dealers. The police. They were all the same in his eyes now. They were all to blame for the world being what it is. Jim wanted to hate them. He wanted to take revenge, but he felt nothing. It didn't matter. He knew he was wronged, could logically justify acting against them, but he just didn't care anymore. About anything. He was finally free. Sensing his presence was no longer needed here, Jim vanished into the night. He needed to find someone who had had the answers he needed. Himself. Who had he been? Who was he now? Who could he become? Where was he going? So many questions to ponder indefinitely. So much time left in the rest of his life.
Genocide ran down the station's halls raining hailstorms of bullets upon its occupants. He had a handgun in each hand as well as a wristgun on each wrist. This effectively gave him 4 separate firearms that he could use simultaneously. Lary regrouped with Gracia, Evans, and a handful of others. They radioed all surviving officers near Genocide to flee to the roof. This plan had been set in motion days before the assault and had been kept hidden from most of the force. The plan involved scheduling flights for several helicopters to arrive at some point after Genocide arrived. There would be no way for him to prepare for them and pre-scheduling their arrival ensured they arrived regardless of if they were called or not. Lary and the others set about preparing the second jamming device. Genocide stood among a hallway of bodies. He saw one man clinging to life trying to crawl away. He decided on trying that other thing he saw his master do. He grabbed the dying man and pinned him to the wall. Slowly he drove a knife into his chest. As the man's life slipped away, something else entered his body. Genocide channeled a small amount of his essence into the vessel. He had steadily done this with other casualties around the station whose bodies were somewhat salvageable. He dropped the body he was holding and looked upon the others. He closed his eyes for a moment. When he opened them, his eyed were black, both sclera and iris. The scene before him changed. Genocide had a vision. He saw a dead gray wasteland littered with bodies. These people however weren't cops and wore traditional Japanese attire. In his hand wasn't a gun or knife but a short sickle akin to a farming tool. He heard a dark voice call out to him. Slowly, the corpses around him began to rise, now mere puppets bound eternally to their master's whim. The bodies sold to the reaper who had claimed their lives. Genocide's vision ended. His eyes had returned normal. Around him, dead cops began to rise. His dark essence had entered their bodies and reanimated them. He sent his dead army to attack the officers fleeing to the roof of the station. These zombies swarmed the stairwell giving chase to the few survivors. There were five of them. They had two flights of stairs to climb and a horde of their former colleagues close behind them. One officer tripped and was set upon by the horde. The zombies didn't bite them but held them firmly in place. The other four officers stared down wondering what to do. They could hear Genocide chuckling. They could hear humming. They could feel the temperature rising. Their colleague and the two zombies holding him were hit by an enormous green fireball. Genocide had fired a Magnum Opus and had charged the bullet to level 3. The Magnum Opus was simply a magnum that shot fireballs, with bullets that could be charged by holding down the trigger. It had three levels of charges. Level 1 was a small reddish ball of plasma. Level 2 was slightly larger and yellow. Level 3 was the maximum charge and resulted in a large slow moving green blast of energy. The officer was ignited and Genocide watched gleefully as the force of the blast sent him flying through a wall. The four officers continued up firing occasionally to slow down the zombies. Soon they made it to a door leading to the roof. Before one officer could reach it, he was sniped by Genocide, a bullet to the head killing him instantly. The remaining three made it out. They regrouped with the others already there, 12 in total, including Lary, Evans, and Gracia. This would be their final stand. They just had to hold out until Genocide made it up there. They just had to keep Genocide occupied until the helicopters arrived. Genocide slowly ascended the stairs behind his horde. On the roof, the remaining survivors faced off against waves of the undead. Evans recognized the attackers. These zombies were being controlled by nanomachines. He heard the stories of several weapons encountered by soldiers on the battlefield. These creatures were called Metaldeads as they were reanimated via machines. They had been officially banned by most of the worlds' governments for being unethical. However, this did not stop the technology from being spread still between shady organizations, terrorists, etc. Evans wondered how Genocide got this form of nanotechnology. Evans long speculated that the dark essence used by most of the killers they encountered was a a form of nanotech however it was different from anything else he had seen or heard about. The dark essence seemed to be an amalgamation of other types of nanotech. Evans had to save his inquiries for later. He reloaded his wristgun and took aim at the approaching group of Metaldeads. Gracia steadied her handgun and shot two Metaldeads in the head. From the single door countless arms seemed to spill forth from the darkness. The other officers took turns firing in intervals. this allowed them to create a steady stream of fire where no more that three guns needed to be reloaded at once. The horde seemed to thin out over time as if they were making progress. In actuality, the Metaldeads were just making room for Genocide to enter. Genocide exploded in a sprint from the door. Everyone fired upon the killer. Genocide had now chosen a wrist mounted mini flamethrower to use as his weapon. He stormed past the oncoming bullets taking some damage, but refused to slow down. He unleashed a stream of fire that caught five of the officers in one fell swoop. Gracia fired five rounds into Genocide's face. He stumbled back. Lary took the chance to fire several mine gun bullets at Genocide's feet. The mines quickly detected his movement and exploded. In seconds, Genocide was on his back.
Staring at the night sky Genocide saw the moon. He reached for it. He called for the darkness to give him more power. His wounds began healing. In the sky he could hear the whirl of propellers. There were six helicopters in total. The first two had evacuated the survivors while the others stayed to engage Genocide. Genocide got up and unstrapped the sniper rifle from his back. He stood before the searchlights as a black silhouette, cornered but unwilling to back down. Lary stared down at him smiling. "Okay!" He shouted, "Let's Tango!" Upon this declaration the second jamming device was activated. Now, isolated on the roof, Genocide's guns couldn't be fired and the helicopters were out of range of the device. Now Genocide stood like a sitting duck. A helicopter fired a rocket. Genocide side stepped and grabbed it. He turned his body redirecting the rocket to hit another helicopter. As it exploded Genocide drew his knife and threw it at another helicopter. Behind the knife was such force that it shattered the helicopter window's glass, embedding itself in the pilot. This helicopter too went down where it exploded. "Holy clucknuggets!Did you see that!?" Lary said dumbfounded. Evans looked out the helicopter door he was in jaw open in shock. "There's no way." He collected himself quickly and radioed the remaining two helicopters to keep moving and to use their machineguns as much as possible. The helicopters reigned down upon Genocide tearing apart his body. Shreds of leather and darkened blood sprayed across the pavement of the roof. Gracia watched as Genocide's body was destroyed repeatedly as it tried to heal. Surely he had to stop at some point. After 10 minutes the helicopters had exhausted their cache of ammunition and soldiers opted to fire their own rifles and occasionally throw grenades. After about six minutes, they too had run out of bullets. Genocide stood unfazed. He had long since healed himself and now appeared intangible with gunfire seeming to pass through his body. His coat once ripped , now appeared whole though on closer inspection seemed to writhe. Gracia looked in horror as she remembered the tales her adopted father had told her. Tales he had in turn heard from his predecessors. Every so often officers had reported encounters with ghost like beings cloaked in a cloud of living dark mist. The beings were rumored to be responsible for the deaths of multiple people ranging from scientists, veterans, mafia, politicians, etc. They were seen near such crime scenes and even more shockingly appeared around several sites where suicides were committed. These beings were reportedly impervious to bullets and filled anyone who got near with an impending sense of dread. If Genocide was connected to them or somehow turning into one , there was little chance they would be able to defeat him. Gracia's fears were confirmed when she saw that Genocide's leather coat had been destroyed and he had replaced it with the dark mist coalescing from his own spilled blood. The dark mist, swirling, grew larger and several tendrils sprouted out from it. Gracia could briefly make out a figure standing next to Genocide. A hooded figure cloaked in the same black substance. The figure stared up at her with soulless, blackened eyes which seemed to beckon her to jump from the aircraft she was standing in. Compelling her to give in to the death that plagued the earth. Genocide kneeled to his master. The Shinigami, Masataka stared down at his disciple. "You have done a great service to us. Even now the sealed god stirs in its slumber. Its...Awakening will soon be upon us. It calls out for war. It begs for famine. It longs to continue its conquest. We are the death it so desires. The death that is necessary for this civilization to grow. Use the power that I have bestowed upon you. Finish the mission as you see fit." The Shinigami vanished and Genocide stood.Genocide stared at his hands. He remembered the first killing spree. He was on a bus. It stopped. A woman got on the bus and walked to the back smiling as she passed him. Something about her eyes unnerved him. They were so bright but something dark reflected inside them. He ignored the thought and put in his headphones. In minutes he had dozed off. He jumped awake. He looked around and froze in panic. All around him, everyone had been hacked to pieces. He saw the driver, actively being stabbed by a masked assailant. The mask, painted white with black eyeholes, stared back at him. It raised a finger over where its lips would be. Even under the expressionless visage, he could feel that same smile. He ran home that morning. He went to his room to find it destroyed. His posters, his computer, his tv, everything, had been ruined. He turned around and saw a man at the end of the hallway holding a sledge hammer. "The hell you been, boy?", his stepdad sneered. The man dropped his hammer and walked closer, veins pulsing with rage. He tried to explain how his car had caught fire forcing him to walk 4 miles to the nearest bus stop, but the man's fist was faster than his words. "Boy!Answer me when I talk to you!!" the man says as he backhands the taste out of the would be Genocide's mouth. He took that beating for several minutes before being left to stare at his ransacked room. He hated how his stepdad went out of his way to destroy the things he loved. Soon, another set of footsteps could be heard. It was his mother standing behind his locked door. She didn't knock, or say anything. She just stood there, doing nothing as always. He never knew if she came to talk to him or apologize. All he knew was that she could never bring herself to speak to or even acknowledge him. Maybe out of guilt or perhaps shame. A year or two later after he had had enough he ran away from home. Living out on the streets alone, without friends, or family, he would embark on countless killing sprees. These killings weren't of his own volition however. He was coerced by some corrupt officers from The Unit. They made him kill on their behalf. Sometimes they were protesters, sometimes they were drug dealers, other times, petty criminals they couldn't be bothered to process. It was routine for him to be used to kill entire houses of drug riddled addicts. During one such venture he entered a drug den, killing the dealer as instructed. He took out several junkies before turning to leave. A woman who survived her injuries clung to his heel begging him to stop. Looking down he aimed the handgun he was carrying at her head of long disheveled brown hair and fired. Feeling nothing, he kicked her body aside like trash when it hit him. Her face. This woman had been his mother. What was she doing in a place like this? He felt a shock of emotion. He wondered if she had always been like this, or had she changed after he left. He never made amends, but decided to stop killing from then on. The unit did not like that. Once it became apparent that he was no longer of use to them they started a manhunt to apprehend him with lethal force. They found him. They killed him. But he survived.
He remembered the girl on the bus. He remembered her eyes. Those of a sadistic killer. Still there was something else inside them. Something faint but deeper. So. Much. Sadness. Just like him. He felt the hatred begin to spread. His purpose, he decided, was to make all humans rot in the hell they created for him.
These people, he thought to himself, these living diseases, all needed to die. Their struggles, their problems, they spread like cancer to others. The only cure for humanity's sin, its collective wrongdoings, was genocide.
Around him, dark tendrils continued to form and expand, spinning in a vortex. Genocide pulled out two pistols. He squeezed the triggers to no effect. "As I see fit, huh? Hehe." He squeezed both guns in his hands, breaking them into pieces. He concentrated. In his hands, two more guns materialized now completely black due to being forged from the dark essence. Forged by his will. Immune to the jamming device that shut down conventional firearms. He raised his arms at each remaining helicopter and opened fire. Countless tendrils whipped out and slashed at his targets joining the dark essence bullets. It was chaos. Dark tendrils and bullets tore through every direction as Genocide spun and swirled around in 360 degrees firing randomly with purpose. A tendril pierced Gracia's right arm, another, her abdomen. She was however, fortunate, as the other passengers of her helicopter were dismembered. She barely had time to jump from the vehicle before it crashed. She fell 2 yards onto solid concrete. She felt immense pain as her right shoulder shattered on impact. She looked up to see Genocide's blade like appendages ripping through the other escape helicopters. She rolled onto her back and tried to steady herself. Within seconds her body began to repair itself. The nanocells inside her had saved her life but were now depleted. She would need another supplement lest she receive another fatal injury. The standard nanocells she and the others had were much less potent than those of the killers they faced. In truth, they had only minimal strength boosts being able to lift 5-8 more pounds than before and healing being limited to one or two fatal injuries so long as death didn't occur instantly. Gracia blacked out. She awoke the next morning in a hospital. There the doctors refilled her nanocells. She learned that the station had been left in ruins. Genocide had detonated some type of minature nuke following his rampage. He always blew up the stations as if to send a message. Gracia looked out the window thinking about why she became a cop. Twice her family had been murdered by them. Her biological family had been killed in an on record drug raid committed by a group of corrupt officers called The Unit. She had been adopted by another officer that arrived at the scene who found her as a child hiding in a closed. Sadly, he too was killed for trying to expose the activities of The Unit. Gracia joined the force to avenge both losses and bring justice to the killers that disguised themselves as normal people. Law enforcement was neither good, nor bad. It depended upon the people that made it up. In the dying corrupt world Gracia lived in, she vowed to be a beacon of light. Evans laid in a bed adjacent to Lary. "That damn Genocide's somethin else in' he?Like the stories you told us were understatements. That man could legit not die at this point in the story. Like he has friggin plot armor or somthin.'' Evans cut him off" I get it. We all got our asses handed to us. But did you see that ..thing that appeared next to him. Right before he created that black vortex that wiped us out. That must have something to do with his power. Maybe there's a still a way to stop him."Lary chimed in," That fella looked like he was on the way to a black metal concert wit all the black facepaint he was wearin' Creeped me out to be honest." As the survivors mulled over their predicament, the cycle of evil continued to spread elsewhere.
Budley flips through the pages of a magazine. He checks his watch. He looks around the gas station and doesn't see any customers. Seizing the opportunity, he puts in his headphones and begins playing an imaginary guitar as he jams to a progressive deathcore album. Oblivious to the screams coming from outside, the store clerk moves on to thumping two candy bars on the counter to simulate drums. Budley sees that his shift has ended and begins locking up the store. He sweeps the aisles and jumps as a shadow appears behind him. He turns and sees a well groomed bearded man dressed in a black hoodie, black shirt, and black and gray camo pants. The man holds out his hand and smiles. Budley rings up the pack of nicotine substitute gum. "Tryin to kick the habit huh?" Budley asks. The man replies, "Somethin like that. Gotta get my priorities back in check. Focus on the things that really matter. That damn KonCreep's a hell of a band aren't they?" He nods to the playlist on Budley's phone. "Yeah, they're killer. just got into them a month back." Budley answers. "You know, I'm something of a musician myself. Maybe you'll hear of me on the news someday." Jim Jimenez says as he sees himself out. He walks to the back of the building and passes an ominous form of graffiti. A woman lays unmoving and above her, written on concrete in red is a message that simply says "Genocide Reigns".
submitted by PhantasmagoriaLuna to DrCreepensVault [link] [comments]
Genocide stepped toward the station. A police cruiser rammed into him. He pulled out a knife and stabbed the hood of the car. The inhuman force of the knife created sparks which burst the engine into flames. The car crashed into a streetlight and exploded. A second cruiser neared the scene. No way a man could have done this. Yet still, out of the fires Genocide strode forth. It set upon the second vehicle, shooting out it's tires while jumping 9 feet into the air. The car tries to reverse but crashes into a wall. Genocide lands on the hood and kicks through the front window. Glass shatters under its boot, blinding the two officers inside. Genocide shoots one of the officers with a shotgun, killing him. The second officer in the passenger seat readies his pistol and takes aim. Only two shots fired, both directed at Genocide's head. It casually cocks its neck to avoid them. Then it grabs the officer's arm, breaking it. Genocide uses its free hand to grab the officer's head and bangs it into the dashboard no less than 5 times. The skull is shattered on the final impact. Genocide jumps off the car and continues on his mission.
Detective Evans speaks through a megaphone," This is your first and final warning. Stand down or we will use any and all means at our disposal to put you down." Genocide dropped its shotgun and raised its hands. A group of five SWAT team members rushed out the station, surrounding Genocide with riot shields. An officer accompanies them, edging behind the figure to apply handcuffs. Suddenly, Genocide springs to life , grabbing the officer behind him. He flips the officer over his head, slamming him into the pavement at his feet. Then Genocide stomps his head causing it to burst. Genocide drops a flash bomb from his coat sleeve, blinding the SWAT team as he draws his knife. He drives it into one SWAT member, the knife puncturing the shield and piercing his chest. Genocide kicks the corpse away withdrawing his knife. He goes to another, this time using the end of his boot toe in a rising kick to disarm their shield. He grabs them by the throat and drives the knife slowly into their eye socket. Another is tackled to the ground and beaten to death despite still being under the shield. Another is picked up and thrown into the fires still burning from the first auto incident. In no time, Genocide stood before an indistinguishable mass of gore, blood streaking across his black leather outfit. He laughed" So this is all you can give me. I'm not entertained." Officers took aim from the station windows, and snipers did so from other rooftops. Genocide laughed maniacally as he was rained down upon from all sides by a hailstorm of bullets. His body convulsed, but he did not fall. Moments more and he was on his knees. Still though, their efforts were futile. Gracia looked out and saw a black mist coalescing around the man in black. His blood. Blood erupted from his body only to transform into this dark mist that reentered his wounds. Genocide screamed. No. It was just an elevated pitch in his laughter. Optimism failed everyone yet again. Gracia saw Genocide holding something in his right hand. She could only make out a beeping red light. Genocide pushed the button triggering the carefully concealed explosives he laid in preparation for this event. C4 explosives went off in all the places he saw fit. The sniping posts he couldn't reach. The assault of lead lightened. Then Genocide drew an RPG from...somewhere. He collected himself and fired at the station's entrance. The explosion shook the station. From inside, the lights began to flicker. Communications were down on all fronts. Had he modified the rocket with some type of EMP? Not good. Amisdst the confusion Genocide entered using smoke bombs to mask his presence. Moving like a shadow, he killed everyone in the lobby silently with his knife. He made his way to the holding cells. Still they chanted. Still they praised. Still they raved for the arrival of genocide. Genocide shot the lock opening the cell. Jim Jimenez walked out and bowed before his master. Genocide smiled. He couldn't have imagined how proficient he had gotten with possession. Well, not quite possession. He had known of the Shinigami's ability to share their thoughts and emotions with humans. Shinigami like his mentor were ancient. They had so many years of memories, such strong a hatred for life that they overwhelmed the personality of the victim. The victim sees themselves as one of them. Shinigami can't force the will of the victim, so they find those who are already similar to them in some way. Genocide found the collective universal distrust of police to be a prime sentiment to capitalize on. He armed the inmates, infecting them with samples of his own dark essence.One particular inmate caught Genocide's eye. He knew the man's work. An arsonist. The one whom he recalls was responsible for blowing up his first car way back in high school. Rather than a standard firearm, Genocide gave the man a random assortment of grenades containing a special surprise. Genocide showed them visions of anarchy, of sending a message to a society that used and disregarded them. While this was also true of how he felt, years of living in darkness had changed him. He needed no purpose. No end goal. No justification. He just wanted to watch the world burn.
Genocide's small army broke off to engage several different wings of the station. Genocide went to the security room. He found Wayne, his informant, playing some FPS on one of the monitors. Wayne took of his headphones and asked," You kill everyone yet?" Genocide responded," No. You should get going before that happens. Your life becomes fair game if I run out of pigs to cook." Wayne clapped his hands, "Aight, GC my man, say less." He packed his things and left. Genocide drew a twin pair of handguns and laid waste to the station. He followed a group that took cover in the men's restroom. Kicking open multiple stalls he was surprised to find...nothing. Where had they gone? He turned around and saw his mentor, Masataka, smiling at him. It looked like him. Long, dark hair, black clothing, and soulless, empty eyes. But it wasn't. It was Genocide's own reflection in the mirror. Genocide smiled. He didn't notice the changes at first. They must have happened gradually. Subconsciously. From the final stall, an officer sprung into action, rushing Genocide, hitting him point blank with a shockgun round. Genocide felt the tingling sensation electrifying his body and grew numb. In spite of the pain, he took a single step. Then, another. He came within striking range of the officer and snatched the shockgun. Two more officers erupted from another stall, battering him with baton strikes. Genocide felt nothing. He clutched the shockgun in his hand like a bat and went to work pulverizing his attackers. An officer kicked in the bathroom door, a woman holding a pistol. She fired multiple times to no effect. Genocide stood covered in blood. He even let her reload. Twice. He wanted to see her despair. Her hopelessness. He walked towards her, shrugging off bullets as they pierced his body. His wounds healed nigh instantly due to the dark essence he had been imbued with. He held her face with both hands, lifting her body off the ground. As she screamed, he used her head to shatter the restroom mirror, running down the full length of it while smashing her into it at several points. He dropped the remains of what he held, washed his hands with soap, dried them, then exited the restroom.
The inmates that rallied for the cause of genocide attacked the station. Fortunately, they were nowhere near Genocide in terms of power and only carried one type of firearm each. They shared his healing ability but could be killed quite easily. Gracia encountered a sniper on the end or a west wing hallway. Other officers waited behind corners unable to get close. Gracia noticed the faulty lighting. In this hallway, the lights flickered in intervals of 3 seconds. Finding a pattern and timing her movements, she rushed the sniper at the exact moment the lights went out. Running the length of the hall, Gracia zigzagged, dodging the sniper inmate's bullets. She jumped on a wall, ran 3 feet on it, then kicked off it, pouncing on the assailant. She fired five shots into him, making sure to hit the brain and the heart. Two severe injuries that were impossible for Shinigami essence to heal simultaneously. Elsewhere, Evans took on another escaped inmate. A vehicular arsonist named Carson. Carson had a bag filled with an assortment of different grenades and was happily giving them out like candy on Halloween. "A flash bang here, a bit of tear gas there. Oh. Wait! Was that an ice grenade? Did the explosion freeze your leg to the floor? Whoops. Maybe a fire grenade will melt that for you. Hold on let me get one fore you," Carson rambled gleefully. Evans looked at the carnage before him. Officers burning. Officers partially frozen in blocks of ice. He took a breath and aimed his wristgun. He steadied his right forearm. Carson readied to throw a random grenade. Evans shot it the moment it left Carson's hand. The grenade exploded directly in front of Carson. Both Evans and Carson looked at each other in shock. Confetti. A party grenade? Carson quickly fumbled for another but was tackled and restrained by several officers. Meanwhile in the South wing, Lary had some colleagues set a trap for another shotgun toting inmate. He had them bait the inmate and flee. Giving chase he turned a corner and ran straight into Lary's fist. The inmate recovered and motioned to shoot Lary. "Let's tango. " Lary gave the code word. Nearby officers activated a device. A signal jammer of sorts. The inmate shoved the barrel of his gun into Lary's gut and pulled the trigger. Nothing. The special signal jammer in question was designed for firearms. It was a last resort as it left officers just as defenseless. Lary was having fun. He boxed the inmate in hand to hand combat. Despite the inmate's enhanced strength, Lary's technique pulled through. Lary ducked under one of the inmate's wide punches and did some type of rising uppercut where he jumped off the ground while spinning. One of the other officers whispered" The rising dragon." Lary smiled giving a thumbs up" Yeah, it was a rising dragon uppercut. Saw it in one O my kid's vidya games. Thought I'd try it out while I'm jacked on adrenaline".
Jim Jimenez looked long and hard at himself in the mirror. He was in the women's restroom. Some brainless woman had broken the men's restroom mirror with her face. For the first time in a long while Jim could think clearly. He was becoming sane. At the least he was no longer a raving lunatic. The life essence of the dark gods had healed the wounds to both his body and his mind. He saw his face, his scraggly dirty beard. He found a razor and shaved. He trimmed his beard somewhat. He liked it. He washed his hair. It fell down his face like silk, no longer greasy. His bloodshot eyes once burning with crazed intensity had cooled. He blinked. Just for a second, he saw the man known as Genocide. The man that attacked him. The one that killed him and gave him new life. The drug dealers. The police. They were all the same in his eyes now. They were all to blame for the world being what it is. Jim wanted to hate them. He wanted to take revenge, but he felt nothing. It didn't matter. He knew he was wronged, could logically justify acting against them, but he just didn't care anymore. About anything. He was finally free. Sensing his presence was no longer needed here, Jim vanished into the night. He needed to find someone who had had the answers he needed. Himself. Who had he been? Who was he now? Who could he become? Where was he going? So many questions to ponder indefinitely. So much time left in the rest of his life.
Genocide ran down the station's halls raining hailstorms of bullets upon its occupants. He had a handgun in each hand as well as a wristgun on each wrist. This effectively gave him 4 separate firearms that he could use simultaneously. Lary regrouped with Gracia, Evans, and a handful of others. They radioed all surviving officers near Genocide to flee to the roof. This plan had been set in motion days before the assault and had been kept hidden from most of the force. The plan involved scheduling flights for several helicopters to arrive at some point after Genocide arrived. There would be no way for him to prepare for them and pre-scheduling their arrival ensured they arrived regardless of if they were called or not. Lary and the others set about preparing the second jamming device. Genocide stood among a hallway of bodies. He saw one man clinging to life trying to crawl away. He decided on trying that other thing he saw his master do. He grabbed the dying man and pinned him to the wall. Slowly he drove a knife into his chest. As the man's life slipped away, something else entered his body. Genocide channeled a small amount of his essence into the vessel. He had steadily done this with other casualties around the station whose bodies were somewhat salvageable. He dropped the body he was holding and looked upon the others. He closed his eyes for a moment. When he opened them, his eyed were black, both sclera and iris. The scene before him changed. Genocide had a vision. He saw a dead gray wasteland littered with bodies. These people however weren't cops and wore traditional Japanese attire. In his hand wasn't a gun or knife but a short sickle akin to a farming tool. He heard a dark voice call out to him. Slowly, the corpses around him began to rise, now mere puppets bound eternally to their master's whim. The bodies sold to the reaper who had claimed their lives. Genocide's vision ended. His eyes had returned normal. Around him, dead cops began to rise. His dark essence had entered their bodies and reanimated them. He sent his dead army to attack the officers fleeing to the roof of the station. These zombies swarmed the stairwell giving chase to the few survivors. There were five of them. They had two flights of stairs to climb and a horde of their former colleagues close behind them. One officer tripped and was set upon by the horde. The zombies didn't bite them but held them firmly in place. The other four officers stared down wondering what to do. They could hear Genocide chuckling. They could hear humming. They could feel the temperature rising. Their colleague and the two zombies holding him were hit by an enormous green fireball. Genocide had fired a Magnum Opus and had charged the bullet to level 3. The Magnum Opus was simply a magnum that shot fireballs, with bullets that could be charged by holding down the trigger. It had three levels of charges. Level 1 was a small reddish ball of plasma. Level 2 was slightly larger and yellow. Level 3 was the maximum charge and resulted in a large slow moving green blast of energy. The officer was ignited and Genocide watched gleefully as the force of the blast sent him flying through a wall. The four officers continued up firing occasionally to slow down the zombies. Soon they made it to a door leading to the roof. Before one officer could reach it, he was sniped by Genocide, a bullet to the head killing him instantly. The remaining three made it out. They regrouped with the others already there, 12 in total, including Lary, Evans, and Gracia. This would be their final stand. They just had to hold out until Genocide made it up there. They just had to keep Genocide occupied until the helicopters arrived. Genocide slowly ascended the stairs behind his horde. On the roof, the remaining survivors faced off against waves of the undead. Evans recognized the attackers. These zombies were being controlled by nanomachines. He heard the stories of several weapons encountered by soldiers on the battlefield. These creatures were called Metaldeads as they were reanimated via machines. They had been officially banned by most of the worlds' governments for being unethical. However, this did not stop the technology from being spread still between shady organizations, terrorists, etc. Evans wondered how Genocide got this form of nanotechnology. Evans long speculated that the dark essence used by most of the killers they encountered was a a form of nanotech however it was different from anything else he had seen or heard about. The dark essence seemed to be an amalgamation of other types of nanotech. Evans had to save his inquiries for later. He reloaded his wristgun and took aim at the approaching group of Metaldeads. Gracia steadied her handgun and shot two Metaldeads in the head. From the single door countless arms seemed to spill forth from the darkness. The other officers took turns firing in intervals. this allowed them to create a steady stream of fire where no more that three guns needed to be reloaded at once. The horde seemed to thin out over time as if they were making progress. In actuality, the Metaldeads were just making room for Genocide to enter. Genocide exploded in a sprint from the door. Everyone fired upon the killer. Genocide had now chosen a wrist mounted mini flamethrower to use as his weapon. He stormed past the oncoming bullets taking some damage, but refused to slow down. He unleashed a stream of fire that caught five of the officers in one fell swoop. Gracia fired five rounds into Genocide's face. He stumbled back. Lary took the chance to fire several mine gun bullets at Genocide's feet. The mines quickly detected his movement and exploded. In seconds, Genocide was on his back.
Staring at the night sky Genocide saw the moon. He reached for it. He called for the darkness to give him more power. His wounds began healing. In the sky he could hear the whirl of propellers. There were six helicopters in total. The first two had evacuated the survivors while the others stayed to engage Genocide. Genocide got up and unstrapped the sniper rifle from his back. He stood before the searchlights as a black silhouette, cornered but unwilling to back down. Lary stared down at him smiling. "Okay!" He shouted, "Let's Tango!" Upon this declaration the second jamming device was activated. Now, isolated on the roof, Genocide's guns couldn't be fired and the helicopters were out of range of the device. Now Genocide stood like a sitting duck. A helicopter fired a rocket. Genocide side stepped and grabbed it. He turned his body redirecting the rocket to hit another helicopter. As it exploded Genocide drew his knife and threw it at another helicopter. Behind the knife was such force that it shattered the helicopter window's glass, embedding itself in the pilot. This helicopter too went down where it exploded. "Holy clucknuggets!Did you see that!?" Lary said dumbfounded. Evans looked out the helicopter door he was in jaw open in shock. "There's no way." He collected himself quickly and radioed the remaining two helicopters to keep moving and to use their machineguns as much as possible. The helicopters reigned down upon Genocide tearing apart his body. Shreds of leather and darkened blood sprayed across the pavement of the roof. Gracia watched as Genocide's body was destroyed repeatedly as it tried to heal. Surely he had to stop at some point. After 10 minutes the helicopters had exhausted their cache of ammunition and soldiers opted to fire their own rifles and occasionally throw grenades. After about six minutes, they too had run out of bullets. Genocide stood unfazed. He had long since healed himself and now appeared intangible with gunfire seeming to pass through his body. His coat once ripped , now appeared whole though on closer inspection seemed to writhe. Gracia looked in horror as she remembered the tales her adopted father had told her. Tales he had in turn heard from his predecessors. Every so often officers had reported encounters with ghost like beings cloaked in a cloud of living dark mist. The beings were rumored to be responsible for the deaths of multiple people ranging from scientists, veterans, mafia, politicians, etc. They were seen near such crime scenes and even more shockingly appeared around several sites where suicides were committed. These beings were reportedly impervious to bullets and filled anyone who got near with an impending sense of dread. If Genocide was connected to them or somehow turning into one , there was little chance they would be able to defeat him. Gracia's fears were confirmed when she saw that Genocide's leather coat had been destroyed and he had replaced it with the dark mist coalescing from his own spilled blood. The dark mist, swirling, grew larger and several tendrils sprouted out from it. Gracia could briefly make out a figure standing next to Genocide. A hooded figure cloaked in the same black substance. The figure stared up at her with soulless, blackened eyes which seemed to beckon her to jump from the aircraft she was standing in. Compelling her to give in to the death that plagued the earth. Genocide kneeled to his master. The Shinigami, Masataka stared down at his disciple. "You have done a great service to us. Even now the sealed god stirs in its slumber. Its...Awakening will soon be upon us. It calls out for war. It begs for famine. It longs to continue its conquest. We are the death it so desires. The death that is necessary for this civilization to grow. Use the power that I have bestowed upon you. Finish the mission as you see fit." The Shinigami vanished and Genocide stood.Genocide stared at his hands. He remembered the first killing spree. He was on a bus. It stopped. A woman got on the bus and walked to the back smiling as she passed him. Something about her eyes unnerved him. They were so bright but something dark reflected inside them. He ignored the thought and put in his headphones. In minutes he had dozed off. He jumped awake. He looked around and froze in panic. All around him, everyone had been hacked to pieces. He saw the driver, actively being stabbed by a masked assailant. The mask, painted white with black eyeholes, stared back at him. It raised a finger over where its lips would be. Even under the expressionless visage, he could feel that same smile. He ran home that morning. He went to his room to find it destroyed. His posters, his computer, his tv, everything, had been ruined. He turned around and saw a man at the end of the hallway holding a sledge hammer. "The hell you been, boy?", his stepdad sneered. The man dropped his hammer and walked closer, veins pulsing with rage. He tried to explain how his car had caught fire forcing him to walk 4 miles to the nearest bus stop, but the man's fist was faster than his words. "Boy!Answer me when I talk to you!!" the man says as he backhands the taste out of the would be Genocide's mouth. He took that beating for several minutes before being left to stare at his ransacked room. He hated how his stepdad went out of his way to destroy the things he loved. Soon, another set of footsteps could be heard. It was his mother standing behind his locked door. She didn't knock, or say anything. She just stood there, doing nothing as always. He never knew if she came to talk to him or apologize. All he knew was that she could never bring herself to speak to or even acknowledge him. Maybe out of guilt or perhaps shame. A year or two later after he had had enough he ran away from home. Living out on the streets alone, without friends, or family, he would embark on countless killing sprees. These killings weren't of his own volition however. He was coerced by some corrupt officers from The Unit. They made him kill on their behalf. Sometimes they were protesters, sometimes they were drug dealers, other times, petty criminals they couldn't be bothered to process. It was routine for him to be used to kill entire houses of drug riddled addicts. During one such venture he entered a drug den, killing the dealer as instructed. He took out several junkies before turning to leave. A woman who survived her injuries clung to his heel begging him to stop. Looking down he aimed the handgun he was carrying at her head of long disheveled brown hair and fired. Feeling nothing, he kicked her body aside like trash when it hit him. Her face. This woman had been his mother. What was she doing in a place like this? He felt a shock of emotion. He wondered if she had always been like this, or had she changed after he left. He never made amends, but decided to stop killing from then on. The unit did not like that. Once it became apparent that he was no longer of use to them they started a manhunt to apprehend him with lethal force. They found him. They killed him. But he survived.
He remembered the girl on the bus. He remembered her eyes. Those of a sadistic killer. Still there was something else inside them. Something faint but deeper. So. Much. Sadness. Just like him. He felt the hatred begin to spread. His purpose, he decided, was to make all humans rot in the hell they created for him.
These people, he thought to himself, these living diseases, all needed to die. Their struggles, their problems, they spread like cancer to others. The only cure for humanity's sin, its collective wrongdoings, was genocide.
Around him, dark tendrils continued to form and expand, spinning in a vortex. Genocide pulled out two pistols. He squeezed the triggers to no effect. "As I see fit, huh? Hehe." He squeezed both guns in his hands, breaking them into pieces. He concentrated. In his hands, two more guns materialized now completely black due to being forged from the dark essence. Forged by his will. Immune to the jamming device that shut down conventional firearms. He raised his arms at each remaining helicopter and opened fire. Countless tendrils whipped out and slashed at his targets joining the dark essence bullets. It was chaos. Dark tendrils and bullets tore through every direction as Genocide spun and swirled around in 360 degrees firing randomly with purpose. A tendril pierced Gracia's right arm, another, her abdomen. She was however, fortunate, as the other passengers of her helicopter were dismembered. She barely had time to jump from the vehicle before it crashed. She fell 2 yards onto solid concrete. She felt immense pain as her right shoulder shattered on impact. She looked up to see Genocide's blade like appendages ripping through the other escape helicopters. She rolled onto her back and tried to steady herself. Within seconds her body began to repair itself. The nanocells inside her had saved her life but were now depleted. She would need another supplement lest she receive another fatal injury. The standard nanocells she and the others had were much less potent than those of the killers they faced. In truth, they had only minimal strength boosts being able to lift 5-8 more pounds than before and healing being limited to one or two fatal injuries so long as death didn't occur instantly. Gracia blacked out. She awoke the next morning in a hospital. There the doctors refilled her nanocells. She learned that the station had been left in ruins. Genocide had detonated some type of minature nuke following his rampage. He always blew up the stations as if to send a message. Gracia looked out the window thinking about why she became a cop. Twice her family had been murdered by them. Her biological family had been killed in an on record drug raid committed by a group of corrupt officers called The Unit. She had been adopted by another officer that arrived at the scene who found her as a child hiding in a closed. Sadly, he too was killed for trying to expose the activities of The Unit. Gracia joined the force to avenge both losses and bring justice to the killers that disguised themselves as normal people. Law enforcement was neither good, nor bad. It depended upon the people that made it up. In the dying corrupt world Gracia lived in, she vowed to be a beacon of light. Evans laid in a bed adjacent to Lary. "That damn Genocide's somethin else in' he?Like the stories you told us were understatements. That man could legit not die at this point in the story. Like he has friggin plot armor or somthin.'' Evans cut him off" I get it. We all got our asses handed to us. But did you see that ..thing that appeared next to him. Right before he created that black vortex that wiped us out. That must have something to do with his power. Maybe there's a still a way to stop him."Lary chimed in," That fella looked like he was on the way to a black metal concert wit all the black facepaint he was wearin' Creeped me out to be honest." As the survivors mulled over their predicament, the cycle of evil continued to spread elsewhere.
Budley flips through the pages of a magazine. He checks his watch. He looks around the gas station and doesn't see any customers. Seizing the opportunity, he puts in his headphones and begins playing an imaginary guitar as he jams to a progressive deathcore album. Oblivious to the screams coming from outside, the store clerk moves on to thumping two candy bars on the counter to simulate drums. Budley sees that his shift has ended and begins locking up the store. He sweeps the aisles and jumps as a shadow appears behind him. He turns and sees a well groomed bearded man dressed in a black hoodie, black shirt, and black and gray camo pants. The man holds out his hand and smiles. Budley rings up the pack of nicotine substitute gum. "Tryin to kick the habit huh?" Budley asks. The man replies, "Somethin like that. Gotta get my priorities back in check. Focus on the things that really matter. That damn KonCreep's a hell of a band aren't they?" He nods to the playlist on Budley's phone. "Yeah, they're killer. just got into them a month back." Budley answers. "You know, I'm something of a musician myself. Maybe you'll hear of me on the news someday." Jim Jimenez says as he sees himself out. He walks to the back of the building and passes an ominous form of graffiti. A woman lays unmoving and above her, written on concrete in red is a message that simply says "Genocide Reigns".
2024.05.14 19:34 kimmielovesherbf iPhone 11 problem? I’m not sure. Help!
My keyboard keeps stop working and or switching keyboards or the space bottun doesn’t work alsoif you see Typos it’s cause I’m leaving it how it is to Show proof but it closes apps and opens apps or or the speak keyboard thing pops up like auto correct works but nothing else and I can not open the emojis and sometimes I can’t close a app or even open or swipe up from the button of up to open the opened apps and it does not let me do that so I got into contact with Apple and they helped a lot but it’s still the same and they check my phone and I don’t have a virus so it’s not that and I did update my phone and sometimes it works but other times my phone just stops working and then works again I literally even took my screen protector off to see if that’s what it was and i restarted my phone and cleared the settings thing I literally am stunned like am Is my phone rhag fucked do I need to get a new phone? I was rereading this to make sure it made sense and it opened the Camrea rol and closed the app I also can’t open or close my phone at times
Is on most recent update btw
submitted by kimmielovesherbf to iphonehelp [link] [comments]
Is on most recent update btw
2024.05.14 19:32 Sylesth Combat Artificer - 67
My car's transmission is on the fritz, so it's in the shop and I'm working from home for at least today. Thank goodness I can even work from home, or things would be a lot more complicated. Anyways, that's just a bit of a vent. I've also decided that I might do little lore-esque prechapter bits for some extra flavor. Hope you guys enjoy them! I find them to be fun little thought experiments on how people might perceive the world I've created from within vs from my own perspective. Enjoy some crafting and some romance!
First Previous Next
We know that the spots that are caused by looking at a source of light are, in fact, damage of some sort to the eye. This is confirmed by the spots rapidly disappearing should someone be healed whilst experiencing them. But why? Is there a divinity within light, beyond what our mortal eyes can withstand? Is there some sort of invisible emanation that comes alongside the light that damages us in some way? The discovery of light damaging the eye has opened more questions for me than it has closed.
-Musings on the Relations of Light and Fire, by Jarwic Leftun
\***
Xander carefully opened the door, finding Gabrelle already asleep, and sat down on a chair. Maybe he could get that adaptive camouflage to work right on bright colors. Surely he had some colorful things in his inventory.
He did in fact have a few colorful things in his inventory, and he whiled the rest of the night away making small adjustments to the runic array that was embroidered into the cloth. He was satisfied before dawn, the cloth now performing as well with light colors as it had with darker colors. Now he just needed to make a cloak out of it. He briefly considered coating his armor with the array, but discarded it. There might be times where he’d want to be seen. Besides, a hooded cloak would better break up the outline of his figure, the ripples of fabric, especially if he were to crouch or lay prone, obscuring his outline even more. In little time at all, he had a long, deep hooded cloak of the color shifting, runed cloth in his hands. He stashed it in his inventory for now, as he had no particular need to sneak up on something right now. The rest of the time before dawn he spent silently sitting in the chair he’d chosen, trying to keep his thoughts to a minimum, just daydreaming. Night dreaming? He couldn’t sleep anymore, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t try to let his mind wander.
As the dawn came and the sun began to shine through the window of the room, Gabrelle slowly awoke, once more finding Xander sitting in a chair rather than in bed.
“Mmf,” She grunted as she stretched. “Morning, Xander. You got back late.”
“Morning, yourself,” Xander said, turning his head to look at Gabrelle. “Yeah... Yeah, I guess I did.”
“What were you doing, anyway?” She asked, curious. “You didn’t mention that you’d be out late, just that you were going to go to see Valteria at her shop.”
“I uh... went on a date.”
“I knew it! ‘Comparing notes’ was a date!” Gabrelle exclaimed triumphantly.
“It was not!” Xander complained. “But we went to a tavern in the evening and it sort of... turned into a date on the way there.”
“Awhh, that’s so cute,” Gabrelle said. “Did it go well? Is she nice? Did you kiss?”
“I think it went well. We talked a lot about different projects and ideas we had. I also got to meet another [Godsmarked] - he owns the tavern we went to. I think she’s nice. Maybe a little shy. I think she’s gotten used to being treated differently by people. I don’t think she really believed that I wanted to go on a date with her, at first. ...And yes. We kissed.”
“Ooooh, look at you! You’re growing up so fast!” Gabrelle teased.
“Oh hush. I’m older than you!” Xander huffed, then returned to seriousness. “But ah, if I’m going to be dating someone... we need to have a conversation, Gabrelle.”
“We need to stop sleeping together?” Gabrelle quickly deduced before Xander could say it himself.
“Yeah... It doesn’t feel right, even though it’s just platonic between us. I don’t think I would appreciate being in Valteria’s situation and knowing that the person I was seeing was sleeping with someone else at night.”
“Well, I figured this would happen eventually,” Gabrelle said. “Either you or I were bound to find someone eventually. Don’t worry, I’m not upset. Don’t get me wrong, the snuggles were nice, but like I told you a while ago, I don’t have nearly as much trouble sleeping when I’m with the team.”
“Thanks for not being upset, Gabrelle.”
“You know this means you have to start paying for your own room, though, right?”
“Ah, shit, you’re right. I forgot.”
Xander left the room to allow Gabrelle some privacy to get dressed and meandered back down the stairs to see if any other members of the team were already up. Looking around, he spied Graffus eating breakfast at at table and moved to sit with the dwarf.
“Mornin’” Graffus greeted Xander through a mouthful of bread.
“Morning,” Xander greeted back.
“Glad to see you made it back, we were wondering if you’d be out all night,” Graffus told him, after swallowing his bread.
“I was out a bit late, I suppose. I let the time get away from me.” Xander said, not really wanted to be teased again about going out on a date. “So what are you planning to do today?”
“Bah, Frazay has roped me into helping her do research for the drakeling. So reading is what’s in store for me.” Graffus tore himself off another piece of bread from his plate and slathered it with jam. “You going to be going back to that [Tinker] you’ve been spending time with lately?”
“Yeah, that’s the plan. I’m supposed to learn more about converting mana types today, and also help her fix the suit of armor that I wrecked.”
“Welp,” Graffus said, now on his last piece of bread, “I hope ya learn something new. Never had much to do with [Tinker]s – not saying I dislike them, just that I haven’t had much experience with them – so it don’t make much sense to me. Using a hammer is about the only overlap in our professions.”
“I think your hammer is significantly larger than the one most [Tinker]s would use,” Xander chuckled. Thinking about what he should be doing before he headed to Valteria’s, he asked Graffus, “Hey, I might need to buy some monster parts or elemental cores, something like that, for practice. You know where I would go to find stuff like that?”
Graffus shrugged. “Dunno. My guess would be an alchemy and reagents shop. That’s generally what we’ve sold monster parts to that didn’t go to a smith or leatherworker.”
“Thanks, Graffus.”
The two of them chatted for a while longer, catching up on what each other had been doing. Graffus excused himself to finish getting ready for the day, saying he needed to tend to his beard, leaving Xander downstairs. Deciding to be productive and proactive, Xander stood as well and headed out of the inn to find an alchemy shop.
It wasn’t long before he found one, a familiar scene of an eclectic collection of powders, liquids, crystals, and strange organic things floating in jars inside the building. The proprietor was a dwarf, seated at a workbench. They were grinding something into a powder as Xander entered. He received a distracted greeting before the dwarf returned to his work.
Xander wandered about the shop for a few minutes, looking at the various materials throughout the shop. He identified what he thought might be an elemental core, a jagged piece of crystal looking material that seemed to have an inner flame. As for the monster parts in jars, Xander had no idea what was what. He finally felt he’d waited long enough and moved closer to the worktable that the dwarf was still sitting at, working away at the mortar and pestle.
“Excuse me,” Xander said, grabbing the shopkeep’s attention.
“Mm?” The dwarf said questioningly. “Can I help you find something?”
“I was wondering if you had any elemental cores. Something small, I just need one to practice with.”
“Aye, I’ve a few of them around the shop. You want something to practice with? So a relatively weak core, then – not all the small ones are weak. Do you need any particular type?” The dwarf stood up and stretched, moving to one of the shelves.
“Uhm no, just whatever is cost effective, I suppose.”
The alchemist rifled through the various bits and bobs on one of the shelves nearby before producing a small chip of what looked to be a semi-translucent stone. It was tinged slightly yellow with streaks of white. “This here is a chip off a lightning attuned core. Pretty weak, but it does still produce mana.”
Xander could see the dwarf’s arm hair standing up as if from static electicity as he held up the stone. “How much?” He asked.
“Twenty gold.”
Xander shrugged. Twenty gold wasn’t an issue for him anymore, and he didn’t feel like haggling. He always hated haggling. “Sure.” He fished out the coin and handed it over to the dwarf.
The dwarf handed over the stone to Xander and the pop of a static electric shock could be heard as a tiny arc passed between the two of them. The dwarf grunted and shook his hand. “Thanks for the business,” he told Xander. “Anything else you find yourself in need of?”
“Not at the moment, but thanks for asking.” Xander waved goodbye to the dwarf and pocketed the tiny elemental core. He continued down the street in the direction of Valteria’s shop, thinking about how he was going to undo the welding job he’d done on Valteria’s armor. He’d need her to guide his repair efforts.
Xander returned to the inn momentarily to grab one of his golems. He settled on Atlas for now, as it was the most basic of the humanoid forms he’d created. No extra arms or weird feet on him, no sir.
Arriving at the building that contained Valteria’s home and shop, Xander knocked before opening the door. “Morning,” he called out.
“Xander! Hello!” Valteria called out. She was at the same work bench she’d been at yesterday. Jarrett didn’t seem to be in the shop at the moment, as Xander wasn’t able to spot the man.
Commanding Atlas to follow him in and closing the door behind him, Xander started walking towards Valteria. “How’s it going?” He asked.
“Good, it’s going good,” Valteria responded as Xander brought a stool over to her workbench. “How about yourself?”
“Not bad. The upside of not sleeping is that I never struggle in the mornings now. I used to hate waking up.” Xander laughed. “I even ran an errand before I came here! Picked up this.” Xander fished around in his pocket until he found the small chip of elemental core and held it up for Valteria to see.
“Core?” She asked distractedly, staring at Atlas. She tore her eyes away and looked closely at the small crystalline stone. “Lightning attuned?”
“That’s what the [Alchemist] at the shop said,” Xander affirmed. “Said it was a very weak one, but that it did still produce mana.”
“Mmm, a good practice piece, then.”
“I thought it would be, too. Not that I know what to do with it, yet.”
“Well, how about this: I teach you to set the stone and make some conduit, and then you can help me fix my armor. All the glue has turned to dust by now, thank the gods.”
“Sounds fair enough. So, how do mana conduits work?”
“Well, the concept is simple enough. It’s a tube which conducts mana,” Valteria began to explain.
“Mmhm.” Xander nodded along.
“What you need is a setting – usually of silver, as it has good mana conductivity – which will be the first step of conduction, taking the mana from the stone. Simply wrapping the core in silver wire can work well enough, drawing in the mana that the core puts out through its surface, but for a more effecient setting, small holes are usually drilled into the core to set the wire into as well, giving more surface area to draw from.”
“So we care about the mana conductivity of the material, then? That makes sense, I just hadn’t thought about it. I actually did a little experiment with my rune work to test which fillings were the most conductive.”
“Oh really?” Valteria said, interested. “What were your results?”
“Well, gold and silver were high up there in conductivity, and probably make the most sense for someone who has to physically manipulate material without use of a skill – both for a core setting and for inlaying a rune – but I did find that sapphires and rubies were even more efficient at transferring mana than gold and silver.”
“Mmm... interesting. I’ve heard of gemstones being used in very high-grade settings, as well as various other exotic materials. I read an account of one [Mechanist] who used tubes of mercury to conduct mana, though the relative effectiveness compared to silver wasn’t mentioned.” Valteria cleared her throat. “Uhm, now, where was I? Right, basic settings. Once you have your core – or monster organ, if you’re going that route – you connect it to the conduit. Usually, this is also silver wiring. I like to braid several smaller wires together, personally. I find it to be sturdier and hold up to flexing better. From there, it needs to be tied into a device. Which is a topic for tomorrow.” Looking around the shop, Valteria seemed to identify something on one of the shelves nearby. “I have a core that you could watch me set, and then you could try setting your own, if you’d like.”
“That sounds good to me,” Xander said. “I always love to see a master as work,” he added, opting for a little flattery.
“Follow me, then.” Valteria said, standing up from her stool and waving for Xander to follow.
Xander followed Valteria as she walked over to the shelf she’d been looking at earlier and took a palm sized, bright green stone from it. “Nature attuned core,” She explained, holding it for Xander to see. “I’m told it was taken from some kind of moving tree.” Valteria then moved to another worktable, on which were several of what looked to be drill bits to Xander. There was also an apparatus that look like it was designed to hold the bits, which was confirmed for him when Valteria slotted one of the small drill heads into the device. “This thing,” Valteria said, waving the drill a little bit, “is a life saver. I used to have to drill holes with a hand cranked one. Worth every single coin I paid for it to get an enchanted one.” She turned a dial on one side of the handheld device, which Xander was coming to think of as a magic dremel tool, and it began to come to life, the drill bit beginning to spin with a quiet whirring sound.
“Neat.” Xander commented. He watched patiently as Valteria drilled a series of shallow holes in the stone, the distinct screeching of metal on stone echoing through the shop floor. “So where’s Jarrett today?” He asked.
“Oh, he has the day off today. He asked for it about a week ago, not sure what for, though,” Valteria said distractedly. Soon she was finished with the holes she was drilling into the core, and moved to another workbench. “Now we create a setting for the core. This is a fairly simple way of doing it, mind you, but it is effective.”
Xander watched as she took sections of pre-braided silver wire and fitted the ends into the holes she had drilled. Once each hole was filled with a section of wire, Valteria began to pull wire from a spool, wrapping the stone until it was completely covered with silver wire and binding the braided sections to the stone in the process. “There,” she said, setting the stone down on the workbench. “A perfectly serviceable setting."
“So, if I understand correctly, you coat the core in a mana conductive material – the more surface area, the better, hence the holes – to create a setting?”
“Mmhmm,” Valteria said, nodding.
“Seems fairly straighforward. And then you connect the silver wiring that’s wrapped around it to more wiring, and attach that to your device? Why the distance? Why not just connect the setting directly to the device?”
“You absolutely can, if space isn’t an issue. Technically, the connection between the mana battery and the device, even if it’s just a single point with no distance, is still referred to as a conduit, though, so it’s considered a three part creation.”
“Oh, I see.”
“Do you want to try making your own, now? I don’t mind lending you a little wire.”
“Sure, but I should be good on material, I can produce it with my skills. Doesn’t last without a source of mana, but I guess the core itself might provide enough. Think this little chip is a bit small to put holes in, though.”
Xander looked at the small piece of crystal in his hand. If he just need as much contact as possible with a mana conductive material, his best bet would be to embed it into a sapphire or ruby. He decided on ruby, for no particular reason. Still holding the chip of core in his hand, he concentrated on his [Creation] ability. Valteria watched, amazed, as a ruby began to take form and grow around the piece of core until it was completely coated in a thin layer of gemstone.
“So, you can just... make things?” Valteria asked, sounding jealous.
“Well, it costs mana, and anything I make that isn’t provided a source of mana that leaves my person disintegrates in a day, but, yes. I can just make things with my skills. But,” he added, cutting off Valteria’s complaint of unfairness, “I have never received a skill that actually lets me improve a material. Sure, I have runes, which generally makes up the difference, but I don’t have any skills that improve the things I make. So, if you made a mana battery, and I made a mana battery the same way with identical materials, yours is going to be better, I assume, because you have skills that passively improve the things that you make, am I right?”
“Okayyy,” Valteria huffed. “I guess that does make it a little less unfair. But ugh! It would be so nice not having to source materials.” She looked at the ruby with a piece of core set inside it that Xander had made. “Well, I guess that about does it for making a setting... I thought it might have taken you longer to make one. I guess we can move on to fixing my armor even sooner! It’ll be nice to have it up and moving again.”
“Sure, sure, we can do that. Where is it, anyway?” Xander asked, looking around the shop again like he somehow would have missed the eight foot tall suit of armor.
“It’s in a shed behind the house,” Valteria explained. “I have it on a hoist so I can work on it.”
“Ah, that would explain why I haven’t seen it around.”
Exiting the shop, stopping for Valteria to put a small ‘closed’ sign on the door, the two of them made their way around the building, where Xander saw the small shed that presumably held Valteria’s armor. It looked like it could just barely hold the armor and one person – two, if they were comfortable with each other – inside it.
“So this is where the magic happens?” Xander asked.
“If by ‘magic’ you mean maintenance and upgrades, then yes,” Valteria agreed. She opened the door of the shed, which comprised most of the front of the tiny little building, revealing her suit of armor, which was currently hanging from several chains attached to pulleys on the ceiling. Plates of armor were laying strewn about the suite, leaving the joints and inner workings more exposed.
Xander whistled, looking at the inner workings of the suit. He could see gears, cogs, and joints, and throughout the entirety of the armor were running filaments of silver wire, which he assumed were mana conduits running to and from elemental cores and the various mana powered aspects of the suit. “This thing really is impressive. Almost as impressive as the woman who made it,” he said.
Valteria giggled, “Stop it! You’re supposed to be fixing this mess, not flirting with me!”
“Awh, can’t I do both?” Xander asked, trying to sound as saccharine as possible.
“Mmm, I suppose that if you are sufficiently skilled at multitasking, I might allow it,” Valteria said in a mockingly thoughtful tone.
“Well, I just so happen to be an expert, so flirt away I shall,” Xander replied. “Now, how about the beauty in front of me shows me exactly where the other beauty in front of me needs some repairs?”
Valteria sighed at Xander’s antics, but he could see the slight flush in her face. “Well, you welded the wrist joints, elbows, and knees. They aren’t welded all the way round, it’s more like you smoothed over a portion of it like it was wet clay. So if you could just... put it back? Shape it back to how it was, that’s should be all that’s needed.”
“Pretty straightforward,” Xander said, standing behind Valteria as she pointed out each joint. He could see the misshapen parts where he’d slapped a weld onto the metal. He leaned over her and put his hands on the elbow joint that they were closest to and began to shape the metal back to its original form.
“You’re... very close,” Valteria murmured to him as he formed the metal.
“Would you like me not to be?” He asked, carefully.
Valteria was silent for a moment before answering, “No...” quietly.
Xander carefully shifted to be a little closer, but still not quite touching, as he moved on to the wrist joint of the same arm. The process itself was simple, but he was enjoying taking his time. As he finished the wrist, he turned to look at Valteria. He found himself looking right into her eyes, as she was staring back at him. Unable to resist the temptation he leaned in a little closer, gauging Valteria’s reaction. When she, too, leaned towards him, he closed the small gap between them, drawing her into another kiss. Valteria pressed herself against him, the shed hiding them from any prying eyes on the street, and let out a small noise as Xander squeezed her tight. She was breathing a little bit harder than before the kiss as they separated again.
Valteria let out a breath. “You’re… a really good kisser.”
“Yeah?” Xander said, pleased with himself. “You’re not so bad yourself.”
“And you’re a tease, looming over me like that in this tiny little shed,” Valteria continued. “Now you’ve got me all flustered, how am I supposed to work now?” She mock complained.
Xander was glad to see that Valteria was comfortable enough with him to joke like that. “Forgive me,” he said formally, making a deep bow, “How ever can I make it up to the lady?”
“Oh stop it, I will tolerate no bowing and scraping, even in jest,” Valteria said, slapping him lightly on the shoulder, as he was still holding the bow. “You can make it up to me by fixing the rest of these joints! And by taking me out to dinner?” She added, hopefully.
“I think that can be arranged,” Xander said. “Is there anywhere you have in mind? I will admit, I haven’t become very familiar with the local restaurant scene, what with my… dietary restrictions.”
“It doesn’t… make you feel bad to go out to a restaurant, does it?” Valteria asked softly, watching his face for a reaction.
“Nah, don’t worry,” Xander said, waving off the question with one hand. “It doesn’t bother me too much. Sure, I miss the taste of a good cut of steak, but I was never that into food. Eating was more of a thing I did because I had to, so I’m not completely devastated by the loss. And I can still get some vicarious enjoyment out of watching someone else enjoy their food. Really the worst part is awkwardly having to refuse ordering anything,” he said with a laugh.
“Alright, if you say so,” Valteria said, letting out a slight breath of relief. “I was just worried that it might be upsetting to you, is all. I know I would miss eating.” She paused for a moment, something clearly on her mind. “What do you miss? If you don’t mind my asking. I just… well, I’m curious what it’s like for you.”
“Mmm, in a lot of ways, life is still the same, and in other ways, I’m technically doing better than I was before. I’m incredibly resistant to damage now, even without my armor. I do miss sleeping, though. I try to give my mind a rest and just sort of daydream and let my thoughts wander or do some meditation during the nights, but it’s just not the same. Also means I’m the one that pulls guard duty through the night,” he grumbled. “Let’s see, what else, what else. Ah, right. I can’t smell anything. Or taste. I haven’t worked out how to recreate those senses, yet. Though no sense of smell can be handy sometimes, I suppose. I don’t know if you’ve done much merc work – you mentioned being surprised that I’m not just moonlighting – but uh… the smells that you encounter on a battlefield are… unpleasant. To say the least. It was weird not having a sense of touch either, but I’ve resolved that. It’s a little bit different than my previous, natural sense of touch, but I’ve become accustomed to it to the point that I don’t much think about the difference anymore. I think I’ve even got the density of receptors down in certain areas compared to others, so I'm more sensitive in some areas than others now, just like I used to be. I’m still immune to being tickled though, so don’t even think about it – that’s a fight you’ll lose.” Growing a bit more somber, Xander continued on. “I think… the biggest thing I miss is just the feeling that I fit in more. Now I always worry about being different, there’s that nagging fear that anyone I get to know well is going to reject me once they find out what I am. Like I’m secretly lying to everyone around me with this façade I have going on.”
Valteria nodded sadly. “I get that. I’ve been… rejected before, too. At least it happens or not right from the beginning for me. I get to know if they look down on me for being different immediately instead of fearing they might later down the road.”
“Yeah,” Xander said. “People can really suck sometimes. But at least I can just, like, not tell people what I am if I so chose. You, my teammates, and the guild, since it’s on my status sheet, are really the only people who know. I keep it pretty private. You can’t do that, so I think you probably have to deal with a lot worse than I do. Not that I’d want you to hide what or who you are,” he added. “I happen to be quite enamored with who you are,” he said, teasing a smile from Valteria’s sad face.
“Sorry to bring up such a dour topic,” Valteria apologized. “I didn’t think much on it before I asked.”
“No worries,” Xander told her. “Honestly, I think it’s good to be able to talk about it with someone. It’s healthy to be able to get you feelings out there. And it helps that I feel like you understand where I’m coming from with it, though from a slightly different perspective.”
“You’re surprisingly thoughtful sometimes,” Valteria said, only half teasing.
“Only sometimes?” Xander asked with a faux expression of hurt on his face. “By the way, you didn’t react much to my comment about moonlighting as a merc. Do you ever go on contracts?”
Valteria shrugged. “I certainly wouldn’t describe myself as a professional mercenary. Moonlighter is an apt descriptor, for me, I think. I have gone on a couple, here and there, mostly on kill contracts that would net me a core or organ that would be useful for my work.”
“Mm, that makes sense. I suppose it could be handy having access to the ability to take contracts that would give you access to specialty materials,” Xander said.
“It’s also good for business,” Valteria explained. “Mercs tend to like to buy from someone who has at least been out on a contract or two before.”
“Ah, that makes sense. What kind of things do you sell to mercenaries, anyways? I saw Jarrett with a crossbow yesterday, but I imagine you make other things, too.”
“Oh all kinds of little things. Portable, flameless heaters for cooking. Water purification sieves. Mm, let’s see… I’ve made a few custom order devices, too. One customer wanted to be able to shoot a jet of flame from their gauntlet, that was a fun one.”
“Ooh, that does sound fun… reminds me of my flamethrower.”
“Your flamethrower?”
“Yeah, it’s basically a big tank with a hose attached to it. At the end of the hose is a pump that causes the flammable liquid – I use dragon’s tar – to shoot out. Add a flame that the tar passes over and bam! You’ve got a giant stream of flame that will coat anything it hits with sticky, flammable tar,” Xander said, excitedly describing the device.
“That’s… impressive. And kind of horrifying,” Valteria responded.
“Mm… I guess you’re right. I mostly use it on giant spiders. Blugh,” Xander shuddered. “But yeah, I suppose it’s not the nicest of ways to go. Very effective for area denial, though. Ah, actually I have an idea for crossbow bolt head that would ignite when it shatters! We should make that sometime and see if it sells.”
“Hmm, I think that would draw some buyers. A flaming bolt head you didn’t have to light first could be desirable to certain buyers.”
“Put that on the list and we’ll get around to it sometime.”
“We have a list?” Valteria said confusedly.
“We should!” Xander said with a laugh. “Now let’s get the rest of these joints done.”
The repair of the other arm and the leg joints that Xander had locked into position during the tournament was a short affair. Looking over the bare metal frame of the armor still hanging from the ceiling, Xander clapped his hands together, mimicking dusting them off. “Good as new!” He exclaimed. Looking over to Valteria he asked concernedly, “It is good as new, right?”
Valteria had been staring at the armor as well, lost in thought about how she was going to improve it next. “Hmm? Oh, yes. It’s right as rain again, ready for use. Thank you, by the way. For fixing it,” She said awkwardly.
“Well I’m the one who broke it, so it’s only fair that I fix it. So what do you want to work on next?” Xander asked. “I could do some rune work for you. Orrr… we could kiss some more?”
Valteria flushed at the question, but didn’t immediately say no.
A few minutes later, she found herself on her tip toes and lightly pressed against the interior wall of the shed, her lips pressed against Xanders.
Once the two of them were done acting like teenagers parked in a secluded parking lot, they made their way back into the shop. Stepping inside and closing the door behind them, Valteria let out a breath. “I think… you are going to have to do a lot of rune work to make up for how much you just kissed me, Xander.”
“What, you didn’t like it?” He said with a raised eyebrow.
“I didn’t say that,” Valteria said with a smirk.
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-Musings on the Relations of Light and Fire, by Jarwic Leftun
\***
Xander carefully opened the door, finding Gabrelle already asleep, and sat down on a chair. Maybe he could get that adaptive camouflage to work right on bright colors. Surely he had some colorful things in his inventory.
He did in fact have a few colorful things in his inventory, and he whiled the rest of the night away making small adjustments to the runic array that was embroidered into the cloth. He was satisfied before dawn, the cloth now performing as well with light colors as it had with darker colors. Now he just needed to make a cloak out of it. He briefly considered coating his armor with the array, but discarded it. There might be times where he’d want to be seen. Besides, a hooded cloak would better break up the outline of his figure, the ripples of fabric, especially if he were to crouch or lay prone, obscuring his outline even more. In little time at all, he had a long, deep hooded cloak of the color shifting, runed cloth in his hands. He stashed it in his inventory for now, as he had no particular need to sneak up on something right now. The rest of the time before dawn he spent silently sitting in the chair he’d chosen, trying to keep his thoughts to a minimum, just daydreaming. Night dreaming? He couldn’t sleep anymore, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t try to let his mind wander.
As the dawn came and the sun began to shine through the window of the room, Gabrelle slowly awoke, once more finding Xander sitting in a chair rather than in bed.
“Mmf,” She grunted as she stretched. “Morning, Xander. You got back late.”
“Morning, yourself,” Xander said, turning his head to look at Gabrelle. “Yeah... Yeah, I guess I did.”
“What were you doing, anyway?” She asked, curious. “You didn’t mention that you’d be out late, just that you were going to go to see Valteria at her shop.”
“I uh... went on a date.”
“I knew it! ‘Comparing notes’ was a date!” Gabrelle exclaimed triumphantly.
“It was not!” Xander complained. “But we went to a tavern in the evening and it sort of... turned into a date on the way there.”
“Awhh, that’s so cute,” Gabrelle said. “Did it go well? Is she nice? Did you kiss?”
“I think it went well. We talked a lot about different projects and ideas we had. I also got to meet another [Godsmarked] - he owns the tavern we went to. I think she’s nice. Maybe a little shy. I think she’s gotten used to being treated differently by people. I don’t think she really believed that I wanted to go on a date with her, at first. ...And yes. We kissed.”
“Ooooh, look at you! You’re growing up so fast!” Gabrelle teased.
“Oh hush. I’m older than you!” Xander huffed, then returned to seriousness. “But ah, if I’m going to be dating someone... we need to have a conversation, Gabrelle.”
“We need to stop sleeping together?” Gabrelle quickly deduced before Xander could say it himself.
“Yeah... It doesn’t feel right, even though it’s just platonic between us. I don’t think I would appreciate being in Valteria’s situation and knowing that the person I was seeing was sleeping with someone else at night.”
“Well, I figured this would happen eventually,” Gabrelle said. “Either you or I were bound to find someone eventually. Don’t worry, I’m not upset. Don’t get me wrong, the snuggles were nice, but like I told you a while ago, I don’t have nearly as much trouble sleeping when I’m with the team.”
“Thanks for not being upset, Gabrelle.”
“You know this means you have to start paying for your own room, though, right?”
“Ah, shit, you’re right. I forgot.”
Xander left the room to allow Gabrelle some privacy to get dressed and meandered back down the stairs to see if any other members of the team were already up. Looking around, he spied Graffus eating breakfast at at table and moved to sit with the dwarf.
“Mornin’” Graffus greeted Xander through a mouthful of bread.
“Morning,” Xander greeted back.
“Glad to see you made it back, we were wondering if you’d be out all night,” Graffus told him, after swallowing his bread.
“I was out a bit late, I suppose. I let the time get away from me.” Xander said, not really wanted to be teased again about going out on a date. “So what are you planning to do today?”
“Bah, Frazay has roped me into helping her do research for the drakeling. So reading is what’s in store for me.” Graffus tore himself off another piece of bread from his plate and slathered it with jam. “You going to be going back to that [Tinker] you’ve been spending time with lately?”
“Yeah, that’s the plan. I’m supposed to learn more about converting mana types today, and also help her fix the suit of armor that I wrecked.”
“Welp,” Graffus said, now on his last piece of bread, “I hope ya learn something new. Never had much to do with [Tinker]s – not saying I dislike them, just that I haven’t had much experience with them – so it don’t make much sense to me. Using a hammer is about the only overlap in our professions.”
“I think your hammer is significantly larger than the one most [Tinker]s would use,” Xander chuckled. Thinking about what he should be doing before he headed to Valteria’s, he asked Graffus, “Hey, I might need to buy some monster parts or elemental cores, something like that, for practice. You know where I would go to find stuff like that?”
Graffus shrugged. “Dunno. My guess would be an alchemy and reagents shop. That’s generally what we’ve sold monster parts to that didn’t go to a smith or leatherworker.”
“Thanks, Graffus.”
The two of them chatted for a while longer, catching up on what each other had been doing. Graffus excused himself to finish getting ready for the day, saying he needed to tend to his beard, leaving Xander downstairs. Deciding to be productive and proactive, Xander stood as well and headed out of the inn to find an alchemy shop.
It wasn’t long before he found one, a familiar scene of an eclectic collection of powders, liquids, crystals, and strange organic things floating in jars inside the building. The proprietor was a dwarf, seated at a workbench. They were grinding something into a powder as Xander entered. He received a distracted greeting before the dwarf returned to his work.
Xander wandered about the shop for a few minutes, looking at the various materials throughout the shop. He identified what he thought might be an elemental core, a jagged piece of crystal looking material that seemed to have an inner flame. As for the monster parts in jars, Xander had no idea what was what. He finally felt he’d waited long enough and moved closer to the worktable that the dwarf was still sitting at, working away at the mortar and pestle.
“Excuse me,” Xander said, grabbing the shopkeep’s attention.
“Mm?” The dwarf said questioningly. “Can I help you find something?”
“I was wondering if you had any elemental cores. Something small, I just need one to practice with.”
“Aye, I’ve a few of them around the shop. You want something to practice with? So a relatively weak core, then – not all the small ones are weak. Do you need any particular type?” The dwarf stood up and stretched, moving to one of the shelves.
“Uhm no, just whatever is cost effective, I suppose.”
The alchemist rifled through the various bits and bobs on one of the shelves nearby before producing a small chip of what looked to be a semi-translucent stone. It was tinged slightly yellow with streaks of white. “This here is a chip off a lightning attuned core. Pretty weak, but it does still produce mana.”
Xander could see the dwarf’s arm hair standing up as if from static electicity as he held up the stone. “How much?” He asked.
“Twenty gold.”
Xander shrugged. Twenty gold wasn’t an issue for him anymore, and he didn’t feel like haggling. He always hated haggling. “Sure.” He fished out the coin and handed it over to the dwarf.
The dwarf handed over the stone to Xander and the pop of a static electric shock could be heard as a tiny arc passed between the two of them. The dwarf grunted and shook his hand. “Thanks for the business,” he told Xander. “Anything else you find yourself in need of?”
“Not at the moment, but thanks for asking.” Xander waved goodbye to the dwarf and pocketed the tiny elemental core. He continued down the street in the direction of Valteria’s shop, thinking about how he was going to undo the welding job he’d done on Valteria’s armor. He’d need her to guide his repair efforts.
Xander returned to the inn momentarily to grab one of his golems. He settled on Atlas for now, as it was the most basic of the humanoid forms he’d created. No extra arms or weird feet on him, no sir.
Arriving at the building that contained Valteria’s home and shop, Xander knocked before opening the door. “Morning,” he called out.
“Xander! Hello!” Valteria called out. She was at the same work bench she’d been at yesterday. Jarrett didn’t seem to be in the shop at the moment, as Xander wasn’t able to spot the man.
Commanding Atlas to follow him in and closing the door behind him, Xander started walking towards Valteria. “How’s it going?” He asked.
“Good, it’s going good,” Valteria responded as Xander brought a stool over to her workbench. “How about yourself?”
“Not bad. The upside of not sleeping is that I never struggle in the mornings now. I used to hate waking up.” Xander laughed. “I even ran an errand before I came here! Picked up this.” Xander fished around in his pocket until he found the small chip of elemental core and held it up for Valteria to see.
“Core?” She asked distractedly, staring at Atlas. She tore her eyes away and looked closely at the small crystalline stone. “Lightning attuned?”
“That’s what the [Alchemist] at the shop said,” Xander affirmed. “Said it was a very weak one, but that it did still produce mana.”
“Mmm, a good practice piece, then.”
“I thought it would be, too. Not that I know what to do with it, yet.”
“Well, how about this: I teach you to set the stone and make some conduit, and then you can help me fix my armor. All the glue has turned to dust by now, thank the gods.”
“Sounds fair enough. So, how do mana conduits work?”
“Well, the concept is simple enough. It’s a tube which conducts mana,” Valteria began to explain.
“Mmhm.” Xander nodded along.
“What you need is a setting – usually of silver, as it has good mana conductivity – which will be the first step of conduction, taking the mana from the stone. Simply wrapping the core in silver wire can work well enough, drawing in the mana that the core puts out through its surface, but for a more effecient setting, small holes are usually drilled into the core to set the wire into as well, giving more surface area to draw from.”
“So we care about the mana conductivity of the material, then? That makes sense, I just hadn’t thought about it. I actually did a little experiment with my rune work to test which fillings were the most conductive.”
“Oh really?” Valteria said, interested. “What were your results?”
“Well, gold and silver were high up there in conductivity, and probably make the most sense for someone who has to physically manipulate material without use of a skill – both for a core setting and for inlaying a rune – but I did find that sapphires and rubies were even more efficient at transferring mana than gold and silver.”
“Mmm... interesting. I’ve heard of gemstones being used in very high-grade settings, as well as various other exotic materials. I read an account of one [Mechanist] who used tubes of mercury to conduct mana, though the relative effectiveness compared to silver wasn’t mentioned.” Valteria cleared her throat. “Uhm, now, where was I? Right, basic settings. Once you have your core – or monster organ, if you’re going that route – you connect it to the conduit. Usually, this is also silver wiring. I like to braid several smaller wires together, personally. I find it to be sturdier and hold up to flexing better. From there, it needs to be tied into a device. Which is a topic for tomorrow.” Looking around the shop, Valteria seemed to identify something on one of the shelves nearby. “I have a core that you could watch me set, and then you could try setting your own, if you’d like.”
“That sounds good to me,” Xander said. “I always love to see a master as work,” he added, opting for a little flattery.
“Follow me, then.” Valteria said, standing up from her stool and waving for Xander to follow.
Xander followed Valteria as she walked over to the shelf she’d been looking at earlier and took a palm sized, bright green stone from it. “Nature attuned core,” She explained, holding it for Xander to see. “I’m told it was taken from some kind of moving tree.” Valteria then moved to another worktable, on which were several of what looked to be drill bits to Xander. There was also an apparatus that look like it was designed to hold the bits, which was confirmed for him when Valteria slotted one of the small drill heads into the device. “This thing,” Valteria said, waving the drill a little bit, “is a life saver. I used to have to drill holes with a hand cranked one. Worth every single coin I paid for it to get an enchanted one.” She turned a dial on one side of the handheld device, which Xander was coming to think of as a magic dremel tool, and it began to come to life, the drill bit beginning to spin with a quiet whirring sound.
“Neat.” Xander commented. He watched patiently as Valteria drilled a series of shallow holes in the stone, the distinct screeching of metal on stone echoing through the shop floor. “So where’s Jarrett today?” He asked.
“Oh, he has the day off today. He asked for it about a week ago, not sure what for, though,” Valteria said distractedly. Soon she was finished with the holes she was drilling into the core, and moved to another workbench. “Now we create a setting for the core. This is a fairly simple way of doing it, mind you, but it is effective.”
Xander watched as she took sections of pre-braided silver wire and fitted the ends into the holes she had drilled. Once each hole was filled with a section of wire, Valteria began to pull wire from a spool, wrapping the stone until it was completely covered with silver wire and binding the braided sections to the stone in the process. “There,” she said, setting the stone down on the workbench. “A perfectly serviceable setting."
“So, if I understand correctly, you coat the core in a mana conductive material – the more surface area, the better, hence the holes – to create a setting?”
“Mmhmm,” Valteria said, nodding.
“Seems fairly straighforward. And then you connect the silver wiring that’s wrapped around it to more wiring, and attach that to your device? Why the distance? Why not just connect the setting directly to the device?”
“You absolutely can, if space isn’t an issue. Technically, the connection between the mana battery and the device, even if it’s just a single point with no distance, is still referred to as a conduit, though, so it’s considered a three part creation.”
“Oh, I see.”
“Do you want to try making your own, now? I don’t mind lending you a little wire.”
“Sure, but I should be good on material, I can produce it with my skills. Doesn’t last without a source of mana, but I guess the core itself might provide enough. Think this little chip is a bit small to put holes in, though.”
Xander looked at the small piece of crystal in his hand. If he just need as much contact as possible with a mana conductive material, his best bet would be to embed it into a sapphire or ruby. He decided on ruby, for no particular reason. Still holding the chip of core in his hand, he concentrated on his [Creation] ability. Valteria watched, amazed, as a ruby began to take form and grow around the piece of core until it was completely coated in a thin layer of gemstone.
“So, you can just... make things?” Valteria asked, sounding jealous.
“Well, it costs mana, and anything I make that isn’t provided a source of mana that leaves my person disintegrates in a day, but, yes. I can just make things with my skills. But,” he added, cutting off Valteria’s complaint of unfairness, “I have never received a skill that actually lets me improve a material. Sure, I have runes, which generally makes up the difference, but I don’t have any skills that improve the things I make. So, if you made a mana battery, and I made a mana battery the same way with identical materials, yours is going to be better, I assume, because you have skills that passively improve the things that you make, am I right?”
“Okayyy,” Valteria huffed. “I guess that does make it a little less unfair. But ugh! It would be so nice not having to source materials.” She looked at the ruby with a piece of core set inside it that Xander had made. “Well, I guess that about does it for making a setting... I thought it might have taken you longer to make one. I guess we can move on to fixing my armor even sooner! It’ll be nice to have it up and moving again.”
“Sure, sure, we can do that. Where is it, anyway?” Xander asked, looking around the shop again like he somehow would have missed the eight foot tall suit of armor.
“It’s in a shed behind the house,” Valteria explained. “I have it on a hoist so I can work on it.”
“Ah, that would explain why I haven’t seen it around.”
Exiting the shop, stopping for Valteria to put a small ‘closed’ sign on the door, the two of them made their way around the building, where Xander saw the small shed that presumably held Valteria’s armor. It looked like it could just barely hold the armor and one person – two, if they were comfortable with each other – inside it.
“So this is where the magic happens?” Xander asked.
“If by ‘magic’ you mean maintenance and upgrades, then yes,” Valteria agreed. She opened the door of the shed, which comprised most of the front of the tiny little building, revealing her suit of armor, which was currently hanging from several chains attached to pulleys on the ceiling. Plates of armor were laying strewn about the suite, leaving the joints and inner workings more exposed.
Xander whistled, looking at the inner workings of the suit. He could see gears, cogs, and joints, and throughout the entirety of the armor were running filaments of silver wire, which he assumed were mana conduits running to and from elemental cores and the various mana powered aspects of the suit. “This thing really is impressive. Almost as impressive as the woman who made it,” he said.
Valteria giggled, “Stop it! You’re supposed to be fixing this mess, not flirting with me!”
“Awh, can’t I do both?” Xander asked, trying to sound as saccharine as possible.
“Mmm, I suppose that if you are sufficiently skilled at multitasking, I might allow it,” Valteria said in a mockingly thoughtful tone.
“Well, I just so happen to be an expert, so flirt away I shall,” Xander replied. “Now, how about the beauty in front of me shows me exactly where the other beauty in front of me needs some repairs?”
Valteria sighed at Xander’s antics, but he could see the slight flush in her face. “Well, you welded the wrist joints, elbows, and knees. They aren’t welded all the way round, it’s more like you smoothed over a portion of it like it was wet clay. So if you could just... put it back? Shape it back to how it was, that’s should be all that’s needed.”
“Pretty straightforward,” Xander said, standing behind Valteria as she pointed out each joint. He could see the misshapen parts where he’d slapped a weld onto the metal. He leaned over her and put his hands on the elbow joint that they were closest to and began to shape the metal back to its original form.
“You’re... very close,” Valteria murmured to him as he formed the metal.
“Would you like me not to be?” He asked, carefully.
Valteria was silent for a moment before answering, “No...” quietly.
Xander carefully shifted to be a little closer, but still not quite touching, as he moved on to the wrist joint of the same arm. The process itself was simple, but he was enjoying taking his time. As he finished the wrist, he turned to look at Valteria. He found himself looking right into her eyes, as she was staring back at him. Unable to resist the temptation he leaned in a little closer, gauging Valteria’s reaction. When she, too, leaned towards him, he closed the small gap between them, drawing her into another kiss. Valteria pressed herself against him, the shed hiding them from any prying eyes on the street, and let out a small noise as Xander squeezed her tight. She was breathing a little bit harder than before the kiss as they separated again.
Valteria let out a breath. “You’re… a really good kisser.”
“Yeah?” Xander said, pleased with himself. “You’re not so bad yourself.”
“And you’re a tease, looming over me like that in this tiny little shed,” Valteria continued. “Now you’ve got me all flustered, how am I supposed to work now?” She mock complained.
Xander was glad to see that Valteria was comfortable enough with him to joke like that. “Forgive me,” he said formally, making a deep bow, “How ever can I make it up to the lady?”
“Oh stop it, I will tolerate no bowing and scraping, even in jest,” Valteria said, slapping him lightly on the shoulder, as he was still holding the bow. “You can make it up to me by fixing the rest of these joints! And by taking me out to dinner?” She added, hopefully.
“I think that can be arranged,” Xander said. “Is there anywhere you have in mind? I will admit, I haven’t become very familiar with the local restaurant scene, what with my… dietary restrictions.”
“It doesn’t… make you feel bad to go out to a restaurant, does it?” Valteria asked softly, watching his face for a reaction.
“Nah, don’t worry,” Xander said, waving off the question with one hand. “It doesn’t bother me too much. Sure, I miss the taste of a good cut of steak, but I was never that into food. Eating was more of a thing I did because I had to, so I’m not completely devastated by the loss. And I can still get some vicarious enjoyment out of watching someone else enjoy their food. Really the worst part is awkwardly having to refuse ordering anything,” he said with a laugh.
“Alright, if you say so,” Valteria said, letting out a slight breath of relief. “I was just worried that it might be upsetting to you, is all. I know I would miss eating.” She paused for a moment, something clearly on her mind. “What do you miss? If you don’t mind my asking. I just… well, I’m curious what it’s like for you.”
“Mmm, in a lot of ways, life is still the same, and in other ways, I’m technically doing better than I was before. I’m incredibly resistant to damage now, even without my armor. I do miss sleeping, though. I try to give my mind a rest and just sort of daydream and let my thoughts wander or do some meditation during the nights, but it’s just not the same. Also means I’m the one that pulls guard duty through the night,” he grumbled. “Let’s see, what else, what else. Ah, right. I can’t smell anything. Or taste. I haven’t worked out how to recreate those senses, yet. Though no sense of smell can be handy sometimes, I suppose. I don’t know if you’ve done much merc work – you mentioned being surprised that I’m not just moonlighting – but uh… the smells that you encounter on a battlefield are… unpleasant. To say the least. It was weird not having a sense of touch either, but I’ve resolved that. It’s a little bit different than my previous, natural sense of touch, but I’ve become accustomed to it to the point that I don’t much think about the difference anymore. I think I’ve even got the density of receptors down in certain areas compared to others, so I'm more sensitive in some areas than others now, just like I used to be. I’m still immune to being tickled though, so don’t even think about it – that’s a fight you’ll lose.” Growing a bit more somber, Xander continued on. “I think… the biggest thing I miss is just the feeling that I fit in more. Now I always worry about being different, there’s that nagging fear that anyone I get to know well is going to reject me once they find out what I am. Like I’m secretly lying to everyone around me with this façade I have going on.”
Valteria nodded sadly. “I get that. I’ve been… rejected before, too. At least it happens or not right from the beginning for me. I get to know if they look down on me for being different immediately instead of fearing they might later down the road.”
“Yeah,” Xander said. “People can really suck sometimes. But at least I can just, like, not tell people what I am if I so chose. You, my teammates, and the guild, since it’s on my status sheet, are really the only people who know. I keep it pretty private. You can’t do that, so I think you probably have to deal with a lot worse than I do. Not that I’d want you to hide what or who you are,” he added. “I happen to be quite enamored with who you are,” he said, teasing a smile from Valteria’s sad face.
“Sorry to bring up such a dour topic,” Valteria apologized. “I didn’t think much on it before I asked.”
“No worries,” Xander told her. “Honestly, I think it’s good to be able to talk about it with someone. It’s healthy to be able to get you feelings out there. And it helps that I feel like you understand where I’m coming from with it, though from a slightly different perspective.”
“You’re surprisingly thoughtful sometimes,” Valteria said, only half teasing.
“Only sometimes?” Xander asked with a faux expression of hurt on his face. “By the way, you didn’t react much to my comment about moonlighting as a merc. Do you ever go on contracts?”
Valteria shrugged. “I certainly wouldn’t describe myself as a professional mercenary. Moonlighter is an apt descriptor, for me, I think. I have gone on a couple, here and there, mostly on kill contracts that would net me a core or organ that would be useful for my work.”
“Mm, that makes sense. I suppose it could be handy having access to the ability to take contracts that would give you access to specialty materials,” Xander said.
“It’s also good for business,” Valteria explained. “Mercs tend to like to buy from someone who has at least been out on a contract or two before.”
“Ah, that makes sense. What kind of things do you sell to mercenaries, anyways? I saw Jarrett with a crossbow yesterday, but I imagine you make other things, too.”
“Oh all kinds of little things. Portable, flameless heaters for cooking. Water purification sieves. Mm, let’s see… I’ve made a few custom order devices, too. One customer wanted to be able to shoot a jet of flame from their gauntlet, that was a fun one.”
“Ooh, that does sound fun… reminds me of my flamethrower.”
“Your flamethrower?”
“Yeah, it’s basically a big tank with a hose attached to it. At the end of the hose is a pump that causes the flammable liquid – I use dragon’s tar – to shoot out. Add a flame that the tar passes over and bam! You’ve got a giant stream of flame that will coat anything it hits with sticky, flammable tar,” Xander said, excitedly describing the device.
“That’s… impressive. And kind of horrifying,” Valteria responded.
“Mm… I guess you’re right. I mostly use it on giant spiders. Blugh,” Xander shuddered. “But yeah, I suppose it’s not the nicest of ways to go. Very effective for area denial, though. Ah, actually I have an idea for crossbow bolt head that would ignite when it shatters! We should make that sometime and see if it sells.”
“Hmm, I think that would draw some buyers. A flaming bolt head you didn’t have to light first could be desirable to certain buyers.”
“Put that on the list and we’ll get around to it sometime.”
“We have a list?” Valteria said confusedly.
“We should!” Xander said with a laugh. “Now let’s get the rest of these joints done.”
The repair of the other arm and the leg joints that Xander had locked into position during the tournament was a short affair. Looking over the bare metal frame of the armor still hanging from the ceiling, Xander clapped his hands together, mimicking dusting them off. “Good as new!” He exclaimed. Looking over to Valteria he asked concernedly, “It is good as new, right?”
Valteria had been staring at the armor as well, lost in thought about how she was going to improve it next. “Hmm? Oh, yes. It’s right as rain again, ready for use. Thank you, by the way. For fixing it,” She said awkwardly.
“Well I’m the one who broke it, so it’s only fair that I fix it. So what do you want to work on next?” Xander asked. “I could do some rune work for you. Orrr… we could kiss some more?”
Valteria flushed at the question, but didn’t immediately say no.
A few minutes later, she found herself on her tip toes and lightly pressed against the interior wall of the shed, her lips pressed against Xanders.
Once the two of them were done acting like teenagers parked in a secluded parking lot, they made their way back into the shop. Stepping inside and closing the door behind them, Valteria let out a breath. “I think… you are going to have to do a lot of rune work to make up for how much you just kissed me, Xander.”
“What, you didn’t like it?” He said with a raised eyebrow.
“I didn’t say that,” Valteria said with a smirk.
2024.05.14 19:31 Educational-Let-1027 Entering my Wattpad era. Team ENTP or Team ESTP?
There are two guys that I met on a trip who both expressed interest in me, an INFP.
ENTP
-Bonded over talking about politics and current events
-One day, he was pulled away from conversation, and seemed genuinely irritated that our conversation was cut short
-Was very shy talking to me; I'd usually have to be the one to initiate
-I got super drunk one night, and he helped hold my hair back as I threw up in the toilet
-Got jealous of ESTP’s behavior towards me, and told him and all of ESTP’s's cousins that he liked me
-Turns out, ENTP had a girlfriend, and he didn't mean to catch feelings for me, but he did
-He cut off contact with me after, but they broke up not too long later, and there were some signs he was stalking my social media
-Three years later, I’m having a mental breakdown online. ENTP sees this behavior, and asks our old friends (including ESTP) to check on me
ESTP
-He was unintentionally rude to me during our first interaction, but realized he was in the wrong, and started being nicer to me after
-Was making out with another girl at the resort the day I met him (they tried to hook up, but his mom caught them and stopped them)
-When I first started hanging out with ESTP and his cousins, I got kind of drunk, and went to sit down by myself on a couch. He got me a water and sat down next to me. He even offered to escort me to the restroom
-The same night that I got super drunk, I apologized to everyone for getting wasted. ESTP shushed me, putting his finger to his lips before putting it on mine
-After ENTP turned me down, I was more quiet after, and ESTP asked me why I was quiet. He then asked me what I like to do for fun
-After ENTP cut contact with me, ESTP ried to, in his way, ask me what was going on, and how I felt
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submitted by Educational-Let-1027 to MbtiTypeMe [link] [comments]
ENTP
-Bonded over talking about politics and current events
-One day, he was pulled away from conversation, and seemed genuinely irritated that our conversation was cut short
-Was very shy talking to me; I'd usually have to be the one to initiate
-I got super drunk one night, and he helped hold my hair back as I threw up in the toilet
-Got jealous of ESTP’s behavior towards me, and told him and all of ESTP’s's cousins that he liked me
-Turns out, ENTP had a girlfriend, and he didn't mean to catch feelings for me, but he did
-He cut off contact with me after, but they broke up not too long later, and there were some signs he was stalking my social media
-Three years later, I’m having a mental breakdown online. ENTP sees this behavior, and asks our old friends (including ESTP) to check on me
ESTP
-He was unintentionally rude to me during our first interaction, but realized he was in the wrong, and started being nicer to me after
-Was making out with another girl at the resort the day I met him (they tried to hook up, but his mom caught them and stopped them)
-When I first started hanging out with ESTP and his cousins, I got kind of drunk, and went to sit down by myself on a couch. He got me a water and sat down next to me. He even offered to escort me to the restroom
-The same night that I got super drunk, I apologized to everyone for getting wasted. ESTP shushed me, putting his finger to his lips before putting it on mine
-After ENTP turned me down, I was more quiet after, and ESTP asked me why I was quiet. He then asked me what I like to do for fun
-After ENTP cut contact with me, ESTP ried to, in his way, ask me what was going on, and how I felt
View Poll