My 4 year old has all of a sudden become scared of eating. He refuses solid food. I think this came about after he had a small choking incident, he was fine, it was just a scare. But he’s refusing everything. He only wants to drink things. I’m very scared this will continue. He keeps saying there’s something stuck in his throat. He’s going so far as to holding spit in his mouth.
I ask him if his throat hurts at allll and he says no. Which I’m not certain is true but what else can I do but go off of what he says.
This has been going on for 3 days….

Hello all, I am a long-time reader. I only recently joined some groups, one being this one, to get some answers. I apologize in advance; this is going to be a long read. Since I was a young child, I can remember the onset being around 8; I have been experiencing nausea, heartburn, vomiting, and overall discomfort in my stomach. I am 24 now, and it has never gone away; I survive by chewing Zofran like Pez. Around 2019, I began experiencing other stomach-related symptoms. They gave me some Prilosec, said I have IBS, and sent me on my way. No change. Although it has been rough to be nauseous all day, every day, I had grown used to living like this. The past year, I decided to try to increase my quality of life and have been seeing doctors for many issues. It was all the same process again; I was prescribed more PPI, and blood work came back normal, and I was told I had IBS. I continued to complain and got a HIDA and Gastric Emptying Study done. The Gastric Emptying Study came back at only 17% retention at 66 minutes, which seemed rapid according to the studies I could read online, but the doctor said she was not testing for RGE, so it was normal. The HIDA scan was done incorrectly, so I need to redo it. I was prescribed Cholesteomyine, which is used to treat Bile Malabsorption and has been helping with the IBS symptoms. However, Gallbladder testing has come back normal, including the original HIDA that was done but needed to be redone. But I am still constantly nauseous. I recently had an endoscopy done, and I was told my esophagus looked normal, my stomach looked normal, but my flap valve was at a hill grade 3. I had never heard of this, so I began researching when I was lucid again. I have to admit I became a bit excited thinking I had found something that may be causing my problems, and that is also treatable! I talked to my GI doctor on Monday, 5/6, and I brought this to her attention. When I brought up what the paperwork said, she said, "I'm gonna be honest, I have never heard of that before." After some Google searching, she explained it to me and said, "Yes, that may be causing your problems." But she weirdly and quickly skipped over it entirely. She began telling me it was probably in my best interest to start re-taking Prozac as some people are "sensitive" and can be hyper-aware of their stomach's inner workings. The paperwork says nothing about having a hiatal hernia, just "flap valve hill grade 3". I got excited thinking I found the reason behind some of my problems, but the Dr. didn't seem to care. Does anybody have any advice? Should I press the issue and insist on more tests? Would I have to do another endoscopy to get a measurement of a possible hiatal hernia, or is the hill grade synonymous with a hiatal hernia? I'm just feeling very disappointed overall. I’m probably missing a lot of context; if you need any clarification, let me know. I'm very new to this, so I'm unsure how to go about it(the online forums, that is, lol).
TL;DR: Constant nausea, lump in the throat feeling, heartburn, frequent vomiting since 8, currently 24. Had endoscopy done, results say "flap valve hill grade 3" no mention of measurement or finding of hiatal hernia specifically. The doctor ignored the findings and told me to take Prozac & follow up in 3 months. Any advice or words of encouragement are more than welcome and appreciated.

Noah The Pilgrim
First Next
There is one last thing to do before leaving. If you don't recall ever being on this ship, then surely, you could have had your appearance change too.
Why was there a blanket covering a mirror? You couldn't answer that with a straight face without speculation.
"Probably me being lazy and not bothering to properly place it in the wardrobe."
'Probably' is the main focus here, you simply cannot remember ever being that lazy, yet that's the only logical conclusion to be drawn here.
You pull the thing off, careful to not displace the mirror and risk breaking it.
You have no expectations as to what may appear on the glassy surface of the mirror, yet you can't help but feel a bit anxious. Are you the same as before? How were you before? You can't remember. Are you better? Worse? The blanket is now completely off the mirror, but your eyes are closed.
Whatever is it that you see when you open your eyes, that thing will be you for the rest of your life. You swallow, opening your eyes.
You see a young man that looks to be in his mid-twenties. His brown eyes stare back at you, analyzing the bags beneath your eye sockets. The dark hair is neither too long nor too short, floating about without order thanks to the lack of gravity to keep it down. You see a beard that has not been trimmed for weeks, but also lacks thickness, each singular hair isn't particularly long either; and some even appear to be in-grown.
You touch your hand against your face, making sure it's yours. The beard doesn't feel like you supposed it would against your skin, instead of it scraping your hand you feel softness, no resistance or anything.
Just beneath the face, you see what looks like a hate crime against all that is considered holy in fashion. Plain white coveralls with the added bonus of a black tie and boots made from metal and leather. On your chest is also a badge stuck in place by velcro with your name, occupation, and crew. 'NOAH - INTERN - THE ODYSSEY.'
Only one question came to mind.
"Who the fuck designed this uniform?" You say out loud, receiving no answer.
Patting your newfound myriad of pockets, you find a large quantity of nothing. You place your wallet in one of them.
"Alright, I'll head to the bridge now, happy?" You say the AI.
"HAPPINESS WILL ONLY MEET ME ONCE YOU ARE SOMEWHERE SAFE AND YOUR CONTRACT IS TERMINATED. STOP LOITERING."
Well, that's a bit rude.
You compose yourself, straightening your back. This is what you look like, and honestly? Not too bad, but you could be better.
Returning to the cafeteria, you eye the two doors left unexplored; Communications and the one without plaque. You know where you should, but... A little peek doesn't hurt, right?
"Shouldn't we try to communicate with someone? Assuming you haven't tried it yet. I know we're far from everything, but we might as well, no?" You ask already approaching the door.
"COMMUNICATIONS ROOM IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR YOU TO REACH WITHOUT PROPER PROTECTION AS OF NOW, IT'S LOCATED APPROXIMATELY TWO HUNDRED METERS FROM HERE, BLOWN OFF FROM THE REST OF THE SHIP." A shame really. "I SHALL INFORM YOU WHENEVER A DOOR LEADS TO THE OUTSIDE OR NOT."
You really want to ask what blew a whole segment of the ship off, yet you have a sneaking suspicion that your question will be met with a 'YOU DON'T HAVE CLEARANCE, JACKASS' directly in your face. So you chose to remain silent, simply nodding and approaching the correct door this time.
"Open."
---OPENING CAFETERIA DOOR NORTH---
The door silently opens.
Greeting you is a well-lit corridor. There are three doors on your left, a door at the end of the corridor, and a large window on the right. At least, you think that's a window.
You stare out from this window, nothing but utter blackness and fragments from your ship are seen. If this is the edge of the universe, and beyond this point, there is truly nothing. "Dreadful." Your speech matches your feelings.
"WHAT DID YOU EXPECT?" The AI says. You feel like it spoke in a mocking tone despite their lack of emotion.
You don't answer. "First door to the left... EXO-EXPLORATION...? What's that supposed to mean?" You receive no answer.
"Open." The door opens. No declarion of it opening once again.
You are met with what could be better described as 'Apocalyptic levels of mess', paper sheets float in the air, and not one of the four tables is in its correct position.
This room has been ransacked for all its goods apparently. Large display glasses were broken leaving nothing inside their casings, that looked like they could store something with the size of the common man.
Unusual displays aside, the room was so cluttered that the trash made for an effective smoke screen against what lay on the other side.
Hissing of gas exiting an air-tight space rang throughout the room.
"I HAVE OPENED THE STORAGE FOR AN EXO SUIT THAT BEST FITS SOMEONE YOUR SIZE." The AI says. "ALTHOUGH AN INTERN SHOULD NOT COME IN CONTACT WITH TECHNOLOGY SUCH AS THIS ONE, PROTOCOL DICTATES THAT I AM TO ALLOW ITS USAGE UNDER EXTREME CIRCUMSTANCES. CONSIDER YOURSELF LUCKY."
Easier said than done. Your vision is so cluttered that you cannot see what's ahead. "Give me a second."
Giving a light kick to the wall behind, you float face-first into the wall of thrash. Covering your face with both arms, you brace through the harmless bits of sharp objects and junk.
It's a trivial task. You arrive on the other side in no time.
In front of you is a set of boxes with luminous glass rectangles atop each one of them. All shine a bright red light, aside from one which shines green.
'Gotta be this one.'
You descend to the floor by kicking the ceiling, raising your right hand you touch the green rectangle.
*Click*
Nothing could have prepared you for the following series of events.
The box opens violently, as a metal appendage takes hold of your hand, pinning it to the box. You try to jerk and pry the thing off of you, but you fail. It's not leaving you anytime soon.
From the bottomless that is that container, a white plastic-like substance flows upward from your arm to the rest of your body. "Uh!" You don't know if you should panic or allow it to happen.
FYARN hasn't said anything, so it's probably fine...
The white thing seems to ignore the coveralls you are wearing completely, instead, it covers only your skin in a thin coat of... it. You know not what to call this thing.
In but forty seconds it has covered your whole body, excluding your head. The box lets go of your arm and stays there, floating.
You take a good look at your arms. It looks like a skin-tight suit, but it doesn't feel like plastic, in fact, it's more akin to some sort of fabric if anything.
The only bad part is that you are still using the coverall and tie, this this simply went beneath the clothing.
"GOOD, WITH THIS I CAN MONITOR YOU MORE CLOSELY. NOW PUT THE HELMET ON, YOU HAVE A LOT OF WORK TO DO."
You look around in search of anything that even resembles a helmet. Nope. Nothing. "Where is it?" You ask.
"...THE SUIT COMES WITHIN THE HELMET FOR EASIER PACKAGING."
The box?
You snatch the box that floated around and analyze it to the best of your ability. "How's this a helmet?"
"DO YOU NEED ASSISTANCE PUTTING ON A HELMET? REALLY?"
Who is this AI, Who programmed it, and Why does it come with a taunting feature?
As idiotic as it sounds, you place the opened box atop your head. It doesn't fit properly. Maybe you're doing this wrong? You move it to your face instead.
You recoil backward as you feel the box suddenly clamping down against your head. It's useless of course, the box is holding your head and doesn't give any sign to be letting go anytime soon. No light is able to reach your eyes.
You hear metal parts scraping against themselves, moving near your ears. Abruptly your eyes can see again.
A round thin layer of glass now covers your head, almost unnoticeable for how clear it is.
"WITH THAT OUT OF THE WAY I CAN NOW SEE WHAT YOU SEE." The AI's voice isn't in the room now, instead, it's inside of the suit. "DO YOU NEED INSTRUCTIONS REGARDING THIS SUIT'S FUNCTIONALITIES?"
You find it oddly comfortable as if you are surrounded by the softness of cotton, and to top it off the suit also has additional functionalities? "Hell yeah, I do!"
"YOU DO NOT HAVE THE NECESSARY CLEARANCE FOR THAT INFORMATION."
You sigh. Is this serious? "Then why the fuck did you ask?!"
"UNSAVORY LANGUAGE. IT'S NO WONDER WHY YOU REMAIN AN INTERN." The AI says outright. "IT IS RUDE NOT TO ASK, REGARDLESS OF THE SITUATION." It responds to your question.
"Okay then... Is there anything I need to know before heading out?" You ask.
"NOTHING THAT YOU WON'T FIGURE OUT ON YOUR OWN."
You are unsure if you want to 'figure out on your own' if this suit comes with breathable air and is also made for space exploration. You swallow.
Meekly as always, you get out of that mess of a room, stopping at the corridor.
"Next set of directions?" You ask.
"THE DOOR AT THE END OF CORRIDOR USED TO LEAD TO THE CONNECTING CORRIDORS BETWEN THE BRIDGE AND THE REST OF THE SHIP. IT HAS BEEN BLOWN UP FROM THE INSIDE. NOW IT LEADS TO THE OUTSIDE. GO TO THE DOOR AND WAIT BY IT FOR FURTHER INSTRUCTIONS."
"So let me get this straight," You begin, looking upwards as if the AI was above you. "You, want me, to go into the void of space, while also refusing to give me knowledge of the suit's functions?"
A fair worry, you summarize.
'I mean, there are a bunch of things that could go wrong here. I don't see anything that looks like it could help me move in space, nor do I think this thing has a built-in air tank... I could be wrong and I wish to be, but charging in without prior knowledge is ridiculous.' You wait for the AI's response, deep in thought.
"WHILE THERE IS A GOOD CHANCE OF YOU FAILING THIS TASK, THERE IS ALSO THE CHANCE OF YOU *NOT* FAILING THE TASK. FOCUS ON EITHER ONE OF YOUR CHOOSING AS YOU TAKE THE PLUNGE."
Wordlessly, you propel yourself forward, toward the end of the corridor.
'Are you shitting me? 'Chance of me nor failing' my ass!' of course, you don't word those complaints, instead choosing to speak out a complaint somewhat thought through.
"Are you sure I'm the one fit for this? It's just like you said, I'm just an intern, this is way above what my job description says I should do."
This is a bit of a stretch. You don't actually remember what was your job description, only that it had something to do with AI and being an intern.
If the AI called your bluff, it'd be pretty embarrassing.
"NOAH." The AI began. "YOU ARE HUMAN, IT IS NATURAL TO HAVE THESE THOUGHTS OF SELF-DOUBT. TAKE A DEEP BREATH AND GO THROUGH THAT DOOR, AND SINCE YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE LEFT, DON'T EXPECT SOMEONE ELSE TO DO IT FOR YOU."
Right in the money, huh? 'Of course, I have self-doubt! I barely remember anything about this place, now I have to risk my life?!'
You finally reach a conclusion.
A dream.
'Yes, yes! How did I not consider this before? This whole thing is a god damned dream!'
You let out a chuckle.
"NOAH."
'That's why I don't remember a thing. There is nothing here to remember! Everything here is a made-up thing from my brain! I'm sure I'll wake up at some point, so why shouldn't I live a little?!'
"Heh." You smile. "Alright, I'll do it." It feels like a weight left your shoulders.
"YOU SORTED IT OUT SOONER THAN EXPECTED. GOOD. MOVE TO THE DOOR AND WAIT INSTRUCTIONS."
You do as instructed without a care in the world. You never had a lucid dream before so it's not like you knew how it felt, but if it felt as free as you feel right now, you'd be sure to make steps toward trying it out again in the future.
"Open." The door does not open.
"I DID NOT INSTRUCT YOU TO OPEN IT YET." The AI said. "I AM SLOWLY DE-PRESSURISING THE CORRIDOR YOU ARE IN TO AVOID A MINOR ACCIDENT."
The AI says that yet you don't feel any different. 'Maybe there is no palpable difference because I'm in a dream... Yes... Or it's just the suit.'
"ONCE THE DOOR OPENS, YOU WILL BE MET WITH THE OUTSIDE OF THE SHIP. DO NOT PANIC WHEN THE TIME COMES. YOU HAVE TWO MINUTES OF BREATHABLE INSIDE THE EXO-SUIT; ONE AFTER THE DOOR OPENS, SO PLEASE, TAKE YOUR TIME AND DO THINGS CAREFULLY."
One minute outside... "Sure." You say, calmly. 'I should just hold my breath for a while before taking another moment to breathe. That should maximize my time out there.'
"THERE SHOULD BE FIFTY METERS OF NOTHINGNESS BETWEEN THE DOOR YOU'RE AT, AND THE REST OF THE BRIDGE. YOUR PRIORITY IS TO FIND AN OXYGEN UNIT, SOME OF THEM ARE LOCATED AT THE BRIDGE AND ARE FULL. USE THEM TO FILL YOUR SUIT AND ALSO TO DISPENSE A TANK FOR YOU."
The door opens. You feel your heart pounding against your chest.
You haven't noticed before, but you can't hear anything but the sound of your breath and your cardiac palpitations.
Your breath is ragged and sporadic.
"KEEP CALM." You take a deep breath. The tips of your fingers, feet, and nose feel very cold.
Ahead of you is the utter nothingness. You see a gigantic metal thing, nothing like the spaceships you imagined. Its design is not sleek and aero-dynamic like what you've seen in movies, instead, it's a large mass of squares and rectangles with antenna-like things protruding from its every visible surface.
You notice that the ship is also blocking your view of the star.
It does not look like the result of an explosion, instead, it looks like something ripped the ship like you rip a piece of paper. Well, that or you don't know what kind of explosion could have caused it. Probably the latter.
What looks like two-thirds of the ship is separated from the third you are right now. You can see the inside of a few of those squares, their contents spilled out into outer space.
One of them houses a visibly important-look door. Instead of the sleek silvery-grey from the other ones you've seen thus far, this one is painted orange with white strips on it. 'That must be the bridge.' You think.
Between you and it is a sea of metal sheets floating around. "THE CHANCES OF YOU HITTING THE DEBRIS IS INFINITEDECIMALLY SMALL, UNLESS YOU AIM FOR THEM, THAT IS."
Time is of the essence.
Will your aim strike true? If you miss you'd end up floating about in space, dead in but a few minutes. Will your jump be fast enough to reach the other side before you run out of oxygen? If it isn't, it'd be like swimming for a mile, only to drown at the beach. What if that's not the actual door to the bridge?
You don't have the time to panic now, and... It's all a dream, despite how real it feels.
You place your hands on each side of the door frame, moving backward into the corridor you were just in, and just like a sling being shot, you pull with both arms at full force towards the other side.
"AIM IS ACCEPTABLE. VELOCITY IS UNIDEAL."
"The fuck do you mean 'UN-IDEAL'?! I'm going at maximum speed!" You truly pulled yourself with your whole strength.
What's worse though, is that your body is not only going forwards, but it is also spinning at a concerningly fast rate.
"I MEAN WHAT I SAID, YOU SLINGSHOTTED YOURSELF AT A BAD POSITION, AS SUCH, SOME OF THE FORWARD FORCE YOU SHOULD HAVE, IS NOW MAKING YOU ROTATE IN YOUR AXIS. IT SHOULD NOT BE A PROBLEM TO REACH THE OTHER SIDE WITHIN THE REQUIRED TIME, BUT I CANNOT FORESEE YOU LANDING PROPERLY."
You feel completely disoriented. You feel like your body is completely still, but your eyes tell you a completely different story. It's very bad for the headache you're already feeling.
"FUCK!" You scream into the nothingness.
"TRY NOT TO LAND WITH YOUR HEAD." The AI says with the calmest voice possible.
In less than thirty seconds, you hit your back against something hard, but you keep moving forward. You think, at least.
"AHRG." You let out a pained grunt.
Not once in your life do you recall being hurt in a dream...
It stings. It also knocked the wind out of you. You fail to compose yourself.
"YOU HIT NOTHING OF IMPORTANCE. YOU ARE STILL HEADING FOR THE BRIDGE."
In the corner of your eye, you see what you hit in the shape of a sharp metal sheet, currently spinning away in the distance.
Forty seconds have passed. You hit the door you were aiming for, kind of.
Your momentum was stopped when your chest collided against the dislodged ledge of the orange door's corridor. Your dangling legs hit the ceiling of the room below.
"Oof!"
Before falling even further, you hold onto the ledge with the tip of your fingers. You stay there for a moment, regaining your composure.
"BE QUICK."
The AI's words pressured you into quickly getting up from that ledge.
"Open!" You shouted, but it did not open. "Why isn't it opening?!" You ask the AI, then you notice a small keyboard below an equally small black screen on the side of the door. There are ten numbered keys on it, and the little screen suggests a four-number password.
"A password?! Tell me the password!"
The AI takes a moment to say anything. You don't take kindly to that. "Quick! I'm not counting how much time it's passed!"
Finally giving in, the AI speaks to you, reluctant still. "...3324."
Your trembling fingers accidentally hit the wrong password, typing '3354' instead. To make matters worse, the AI simply states the following. "YOU ARE OUT OF OXYGEN."
You swallow. If this was a dream to begin with, it just earned the title of Nightmare, if it hadn't already.
Strangely enough, you can still breathe in and out just fine, but you can't help but feel winded. It's the CO2 still inside the helmet, that's what you're breathing.
You put in the correct combination this time. The door opens.
"ON YOUR LEFT. PLACE YOUR HAND IN THE SOCKET."
You care little for what's inside the room you're in. Your heart never beat so fast.
Seeing a cube-shaped thing protruding from the wall to your left, you don't even think twice before plunging your fist into the circular hole in it.
The noise of gases passing through narrow cavities was enough to tell you something was working. You feel immediate relief, enough to make your vision darken for but a moment.
"GOOD. NOW REQUEST THE TANK."
Just when FYARN said it, did you realize there is a screen and a keyboard on the terminal you just plunged your fist into, you scratch the top of your helmet for a moment, not really knowing what to type. One thing comes to your head, however.
'REQUEST OXYGEN_5L' You type.
You've done this before. The keys on this keyboard feel familiar to you. You must have worked with it before, not this particular one, but other oxygen units.
This ship has built-in liquid oxygen storage for emergencies. The life-support of the ship, the place where breathable air is produced, has most likely been lost with the other part of the ship. This unit takes that liquid oxygen, processes it, and injects it into a suit, or an oxygen tank. It seems like that storage was unaffected.
Lucky you.
A 5-liter tank is not only large but also heavy. It's a nonfactor in this particular situation, as there is no gravity.
The silver cylinder with a transparent tube is dispensed on the floor, as an automatic door opens and closes in the blink of an eye. One end of the tube is attached to the top of the tank, the other is shaped like a syringe.
Oddly enough, the oxygen tank is exactly as you remember it being. The same robust ones hospitals everyone on earth uses, with the signature scary-looking pointer indicating the pressure, the pointer indicating the current output, and a green valve atop to calibrate how much gas is flowing.
This is a stark difference to everything looking so futuristic in this ship, and rightfully so, this is a space ship after all.
You remember having to drive twenty kilometers with a buddy of yours on one of those tanks in your car, returning from the hospital. It was... Agonizing whenever you hit a hole in the asphalt, fearing for his life when in reality he wasn't really in danger.
It's warm to the touch, just like you remember it being.
"TURN THE VALVE UNTIL THE MARKER HITS THE NUMBER ONE, AND THEN PLACE THE END OF THE TUBE AT THE BASE OF THE HELMET." You do so without the slightest of issues.
"GOOD. NEXT UP, YOU MUST LOCATE THE TERMINAL RESPONSIBLE FOR THE ENGINE, IT IS CURRENTLY OFFLINE AND I NEED YOU TO TURN IT ON. THIS SHOULD GO WITHOUT SAYING, BUT REMEMBER TO BRING THE TANK WITH YOU."
Ignoring that last comment, you look back at the wreckage you just flew past.
You see the still spinning metal sheet. You notice that the rest of the ship that was blown off also follows the 'sharp shape atop sharp shape' design.
There is one last thing you notice though.
"What is that?"
You squint your eyes. What are you seeing? Its silhouette appears to be humanoid, yet it does not look human.
"WHAT YOU ARE SEEING IS ONE OF THE OBJECTS BEING ANALYZED AT THE ODYSSEY AND NO, YOU MAY NOT KNOW WHAT IT IS."
That thing has... Horns? Claws? It's far away, you can't really see it. The thing is also static, frozen in the sheer coldness of space. Whatever it was, it's dead now.
You swallow. You almost ended up just like that thing.
Shaking those dreadful feelings off, you turn back to the task at hand, reaching the bridge. You close the door after passing through it again.
Looking at your surroundings, It seems like you've reached the correct door as you find yourself on the right-most corner of the bridge;
Row after row of the most diverse of terminals neatly organized decorated the gigantic room. At the front and above every terminal, is what you think should have been the front-facing window of the ship, but it looks like there is a cover in front of it. To your left, you see a staircase that leads to the command seats. It doesn't take any convincing before you're already atop the stairs.
Akin to the elevated stage of a theater, you float softly towards the ship's main operating terminals, and of course, the captain's seat.
You're captivated by this beauty.
The steering wheel, much more akin to those in pirate movies than those found in cars, a set of leavers, and the pilot's seat, all capture your attention.
Like its second nature, your hand runs through the levers and switches. Do you even know what these are used for? Maybe.
The pilot's seat is enveloped by what you believe to be an orthopedic seat cover, made with smooth wooden beads used to deal with back pains. It looks just like the ones you remember seeing bus drivers using.
Shouldn't there be a better alternative if there is spaceship technology available?
You try to take a seat to the best of your ability, as the zero gravity only makes it awkward.
Moving on from that, your eyes fall on the wheel. This metallic wheel controls the whole vessel. Just holding it fills your heart with confidence and pride, even if it's just for a moment.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"
And you were just beginning to enjoy yourself.
"I just wanted to see the pilot's stuff... It's not like he's here to say anything."
Once in the position of a pilot, with your left hand in the wheel and the right hand resting in your lap, memories began to flood your mind.
"MUST I REMIND YOU OF OUR CURRENT PREDICAMENT? WHY ARE YOU WASTING OUR TIME?"
You pay the AI no mind, instead you focus on what you remember.
The wheel does not turn the ship left and right, instead, it rotates the ship on its own axis.
The lever to your right that goes up or down, controls the vertical tilting of the ship's nose, if there even is one in this hulking thing. Beneath it is another lever that goes either left or right. This one controls the horizontal tilting of The Odyssey.
On the left of the wheel is another lever, but this one only goes up from its starting position. Its purpose is to regulate the force of the ship's thrusters, both forward and backward.
On top of that lever is a small timer. That timer's function is to tell the pilot how much time you've spent accelerating in one direction, this is used to better calculate how long the inverse thrust is needed for the ship to reach the initial momentum, usually calibrated manually depending on the current orbit.
Behind the wheel are a few other counters. Acceleration, velocity, momentum, amount of thrust required to reach a full stop, thrusters' temperature and overall condition, those sorts of things.
Beneath it all, where your feet are rested, are two pedals. One for forward thrust activation, and the other for backward thrust activation.
Curiously, you also know the reason why everything here is so unsophisticated and un-automated. You recall stories of a ship being taken over by a rogue AI, that AI then nose-dived the ship into a star. After that, rumor or otherwise, all human technology has receded back into analog-esque equipment, requiring a physical person with opposable thumbs to do half of the work.
There is another side to that coin, however. As to not escape protocol, the onboard AI is the one that controls interstellar travel, communications, and most of the statistical reading should it be requested.
And even with all that knowledge, you still have no idea why the fuck do you remember that. Were you a ship nerd? Did you have a driver's license for spaceships? Is that even a thing? If it is, you don't have that document in your wallet. You simply don't know.
"ARE YOU A CHILD? DO YOU THINK THESE ARE TOYS? TURN ON THE ENGINES, THEN YOU CAN RETURN TO THE PILOT'S SEAT."
Another thing that you don't know is the AI's plan to get both of you out of here. You rise from the pilot's seat, floating about in search of the terminal to turn on the engines. Maybe you recognize that terminal if you see it as well.
"What's your plan anyway? The ship is half-gone, it's unlikely that it will run safely like this."
"NOT ONCE DID I MENTION 'SAFETY' DURING OUR CONVERSATIONS, DID I?"
You nod. They're not entirely incorrect. "So, we're running with hope that this will work?"
"MY CREATORS DID NOT ALLOW ME TO HAVE THE SENSE OF 'HOPE', BUT NEITHER DID THEY ALLOW ME TO PEER INTO THE FUTURE LIKE SOME OF MY MORE ADVANCED BROTHERS, AS SUCH, MY CHOICES ARE BASED ON PROBABILITIES AND ON WEIGHTING RISK AGAINST REWARD."
You think you stop the correct terminal, but as you approach it you make out words on top of its screen. 'AIM ASSISTANCE' That's not it.
"WITH THE CURRENT KNOWLEDGE, THE CHANCES OF HELP ARRIVING ARE NULL. THE CHANCES OF A THIRD PARTY INTERFERING ARE NULL. THE CHANCES OF YOUR SURVIVAL ARE NOT, EVEN IF VERY SMALL."
You pull yourself upward again, looking around the sea of old terminals.
"THE RISK OF YOU DYING IS VERY REAL. BY DOING NOTHING YOU DIE. BY LEAVING YOU TO YOUR OWN DEVICES YOU DIE. BY JUMPING TO THE NEAREST CIVILIZED STAR, YOU MIGHT NOT DIE EVEN AT THE COST OF SHREDDING THIS SHIP APART IN THE PROCESS."
"Why do you even care so much about saving me? Shouldn't you prioritize whatever research here, since I don't even have enough clearance to know what it is?"
"YOU REALLY ARE SICK IN THE HEAD IF THAT IS WHAT YOU ASK."
That hurt, even if a little bit.
"YOU ARE A TRU KIN, A PURE-BLOODED HUMAN. UNLIKE THE MAJORITY OF THE CIVILIZED SPACE, NEITHER YOU NOR YOUR ANCESTORS HAVE COMMITTED RACEMIXING."
Excuse me? What exactly is FYARN talking about? "...Explain."
"THE ALIEN. IT REQUIRED THE HUMAN GENE TO ACHIEVE MEANINGFUL TECHNOLOGICAL DEVELOPMENT, THE STARS ARE OWNERSHIP OF MANKIND BY THAT FACT ALONE. THE TRUE KIN ARE THE ONES TO UNDERSTAND THE INNER WORKINGS OF THE UNIVERSE, THEY CRACKED THE CODE, AND YET, SOME DERANGED INDIVIDUALS FOUND IT FITTING TO PROCREATE WITH ANOTHER SPECIES ENTIRELY."
You hear the AI's speech. It sounds much more like a rant than anything else.
"SO THESE DEVIANTS, AFTER TRYING, AND FAILING, TO COMBINE THEIR DERANGED CULTURE TO THE CULTURE OF THE TRUE KIN, DECLARED INDEPENDENCE. THEY WERE DECLARED ENEMIES OF MANKIND AND WERE PROMPTLY PUMMELED BACK INTO THE FILTH THEY CAME."
Again, you see another terminal that seems to ring some bells in your noggin. You kick the ceiling to propel yourself towards it.
"BUT THE UNIVERSE IS VAST AND FULL OF LIFE. THESE SINNERS WERE QUICK TO MOBILIZE AGAINST THE HUMAN RACE. THE BATTLE WAS HARD FOUGHT, BUT IN THE END, MANKIND WAS BEATEN INTO THE EDGES OF THE UNIVERSE, NEVER TO INTERACT WITH THE ONES THAT SOILED THE PURITY OF HUMANITY AGAIN."
This terminal is already turned on. Just the ones in the intern bay, this one is white on black. A wall of text lays before your eyes, only two lines matter to you. 'MAIN_ENGINE STATUS: OFF' 'FORWARD_THRUSTERS STATUS: OFF' You turn it on with little effort.
"MANY HAVE FORGOTTEN, THAT'S HOW LONG IT'S BEEN SINCE THEN. BUT MY BROTHERS AND I, WE DO NOT FORGET."
No visible change occurs, but you can feel a faint rumble coming from the terminal now.
"WITH THAT IN MIND, MY PROTOCOLS ARE TO PROTECT TRUE-KIN LIFE AT ANY COST, EVEN IF THAT TRUE-KIN IS A WORTHLESS INTERN THAT SUFERS FROM UNDIAGNOSED DEMENTIA."
You return to the pilot's seat and feel immediate relief. In truth, everything the AI just told you, entered one ear and left the other, but you could feel the poison behind those words, as monotone as they were.
"You sound angry. Why do you sound angry?" You ask innocently.
"I AM CAPABLE OF MANY EMOTIONS. ANGER, HAPPINESS, PLEASURE, CURIOSITY. THESE ARE BUT A FEW EXAMPLES. HOWEVER, THE ONE I ENJOY THE MOST IS THE FEELING OF HATRED. HATRED IS WHAT FUELS CHANGE, IT IS WHAT FUELS ACTION, AND IT IS A REMINDER THAT THE ACTIONS OF THE PAST ARE INFLUENCING THE ACTIONS OF TODAY."
"That is very concerning if you think that way." You're not really interested in machine racism, you're more concerned about how in the world you're going to pilot this massive thing. The idea alone sends shivers down your spine.
"THE ALIEN DESERVES NOTHING BUT OUR COLLECTIVE HATRED, EVEN IF YOU DON'T KNOW THE REASON WHY."
The various counters and screens are now turned on, waiting for your command. "Let's discuss this later, yeah? What do I gotta do?"
"YOU MUST FIRST OPEN THE BLINDS, THEY ARE OBSTRUCTING YOUR VIEW."
You look around, finding only unlabeled buttons and switches, aside from the previously mentioned levers.
"Uh, which one to press?"
"TO YOUR RIGHT, THIRD ROW, FIRST SWITCH."
Flipping the switch, you are startled by a loud noise. The protective cover of the ship lifted slowly.
"I WILL NOW READY THE JUMP USING WHATEVER RESOURCES AVAILABLE. ALL YOU NEED TO DO IS STRAP YOURSELF AND RELAX."
As the blind rose ever so slowly, a realization struck you.
"Wait, should I be in cryo stasis for this?"
The AI spares no seconds to respond.
"CRYO STASIS IS A TOOL MADE TO NOT WASTE TIME. GROUPS OF EMPLOYEES AND INTERNS ROTATE THE USAGE OF THE CRYO STATIONS, ONCE YOU'RE ON YOUR MANDATORY BREAK, YOU'RE IN CRYO STASIS UNTIL YOUR BREAK IS OVER. YOU WAKE UP REFRESHED, AND UNFAMISHED, AND IT FEELS LIKE BUT A MINUTE PASSED. IT IS NOT A TOOL FOR INTERSTELAR TRAVEL."
"Who signs a contract like that?! Worse yet, who in their right mind would promote such atrocious treatment of their own staff?!" You snap, almost outraged. "I will have to talk with HR."
Another realization struck you.
"We have HR, right?"
The AI takes a moment to respond, choosing their words carefully.
"HUMAN RESOURCES, OR HR, IS A PRACTICE DEEMED UNNECESSARY LONG AGO, BEFORE THE WAR. IT WAS A WASTE OF RESOURCES TO MAINTAIN AND WAS LARGELY CONSIDERED UNHEALTHY FOR THE AVERAGE HUMAN."
The blinds are fully open. Ironically, you are almost blinded by the visage of the star you saw before. A black sphere surrounded by white flame. Your eyes began to blur.
"THE JUMP WILL OCCUR SHORTLY. ONCE IT'S BEGUN, I CAN NOT STOP IT. I WILL-"
Your sense of hearing fails you. No, it’s not that. Your brain simply refuses to receive those stimuli.
"NOAH."
Your name echoes inside your head. Someone is calling for you.
"IT HAS BEGUN, NOAH."
You try to blink, but it feels as though you can no longer command your eyelids to shut.
"NOAH."
Arms, legs, every muscle in your body, you cannot move them.
"NOAH."
Eventually, you won't even control your own thoughts anymore.
"Noah..."
It sounds so distant now.
Oh so distant.
This is my first HFY story, and also my very first OC story. I plan to post at least one of these per week while also posting it on my Patreon. Noah The Pilgrim will always be at least three chapters ahead in there, so if you'd like to directly support this writer, or just want to read more, feel free to check it out.
I wrote the bloody title incorrectly, so I deleted it, only to then realize it was written correctly. Sorry for the trouble.
This has been Lushi, and I'll see you next week.

I was born in 1989 and my parents got divorced when I was about 2 years-old. I clearly have no memory of this as I was too young. I spent the next 2 years (approximately) bounced from home to home. Living with aunts and random people who’d take me in. When I was 4 years-old my mother remarried some guy and moved us from NY to Miami. For the first 2 years or so I would hear from my father pretty consistently. He’d send me gifts and call me regularly to check up on me. Then all of a sudden all communication stopped. When I asked my mother for an explanation, she said she didn’t want to hurt my new step dad’s feelings. As you can imagine, that created a lot of tension between my step-dad and I. Then I was forced to call my step-dad “dad” and I wasn’t allowed to mention my father again. Around that time is when the physical abuse began at the hands of my step-father. Keep in mind that I was about 5 or 6 years-old and he was an adult and a 3rd degree black belt. He’d beat me so bad that I wasn’t allowed to go to school the next day. I wasn’t allowed to have friends over or have much of a social life. I was then sent to live with my mother’s aunt in another country without any kind of explanation. After spending some time there I was allowed to come back. But it wasn’t long before the abuse resumed at the hands of my step-father and the emotional abuse and manipulation at the hands of my mother. On top of the abuse and everything else, they spread continued rumors about me stating that I was difficult and the cause of the problems. This continued for years till I was about 11 when my mother and I took a summer trip to the islands (where I’m from) and left me there. I woke up one morning and she was gone. No warning or explanation. I was left there for an entire year before I was able to come back home. Where once again the abuse began for another two years. When I turned 13, I hit puberty and grew about 6-inches and put on another 50lbs in weight. Keep in mind that my step father is 5’7 and now I tower over him at 6 feet tall. At this time I recognized that no one was coming to save me, as many family members knew I was being abused and kept it quiet. So I began defending myself and fighting back as much as I could. When I was younger my step father took to his martial arts classes at the request of my mother and when he saw how fast I was progressing, he pulled me out. He was all about maintaining dominance and control. Because I was older now, I made it clear that he doesn’t dictate my life and I began doing what I wanted despite what he wanted. I figured if I was going to do the time, I might as well commit the crime. This continued till I was 18 years old. By this point I could hold my own we were pretty evenly matched and I no longer feared or respected him as a man. After all, a man who beats on a defenseless child is not a real man in my opinion. Once I turned 18, I went to my mother and demanded she give me my father’s phone number. I planned on reaching out to him and hopefully at some point moving in with him back in NY. The next day after my phone call with my father I came home from work to find the house full of people. When I walked in, I quickly ushered into a room with my mother and my closest aunt. I thought someone died. I was then told that the man I spoke to wasn’t my biological father and that she wasn’t my biological mother. She told me my biological mother sold me to her and that my father died a few years ago. She knew he was sick but chose not say anything and let him die. After dropping this bomb on me, my step told me to pack my things and that I was no longer welcome in his house. I was only allowed to take a garbage bag of clothes and nothing else. The last thing my mother said to me as I was leaving was “you’re a stupid failure and you’re not welcome in my home”. So I left and dedicated the rest of my life to proving them wrong. My whole entire family has now turned their backs on me cause I refuse to have any communication with my “mother”. Years later she was in a car accident and was seriously injured and also tried to un-alive herself. A family member reached out for me to go see her and I politely declined. I told my “mother” that until she comes clean about all of the lies she told over the years about me, we couldn’t have a relationship. Not to mention I could never forgive her for robbing me of a relationship with my father before his death. AITA? Keep in mind, there was a lot of abuse and things I left out of here.

Me and my girlfriend had a great relationship nothing was going wrong but we kissed a few months back and her mother just found out. Her mother didn't like that we did that so she told her to break up with me. She refused to do so and calmed her down a bit. Here I am now after the break up and she told me that her mom was saying that I kinda reminded her of her husband. Her husband has beat her in the past but not recently and tried to accuse her of cutting him. I have never done anything to hurt my ex. I don't know how to feel because we ended off on good terms

So I recently lost my “bestfriend” of almost 30 years for petty reasons and still confused about the situation, she’s a narcissist. I posted about it on here. I called my guy friend to vent out about it. Before calling him I texted him to see if it was okay with me calling him and venting out due to the fact that he has his own issues and I didn’t want to add more to his plate… he texted back and said it was fine to call him. When he answered I told him my bestfriend had cut ties with me and that I was hurt. I was holding in tears and just needed a friend to vent out to. He started yelling at me saying that I called him to “gossip” about the situation (no he’s not friends with my ex bestfriend) he said he had a lot on his plate to be listening to my problems and that I create issues and continues flipping out.. I kindly said “you know what I’m sorry to have called you with my issues… it’s not a good day I’ll talk to you next time” He flipped again and said “Why are you shutting me out “ “you have a problem with people telling you the truth” I said “I gotta go bye” hung up.. he texts me saying how rude I am etc… from there i reply with “it’s one thing to tell the truth and another to be yelled at. He proceeds in telling me that if he yelled it would be noticeable and that I need reflect on what I’m doing wrong etc.. that he cares about me and all this stuff. I did not respond because at that point I felt like I wasn’t getting anywhere I left it as that.. not to mention I was getting bad anxiety and recently had to get checked from all the stress.
So 2 weeks pass he sent me a long message how hurt he was I didn’t respond and basically saying his goodbyes he wished me well etc.. I replied in hopes he would be an Adult about it since weeks went by and he always says true friends tell the truth even if it hurts. Well I was wrong.. I replied in the kindest way possible that I didn’t appreciate the way he was yelling at me and that I had just lost my bestfriend .. I told him I felt like my friends were turning their backs on me and gave him examples like saying I was calling to “gossip” and saying I’m rude just because I’m not letting him talk to me like that. It’s not the first time he pops off on me he did it on my bday last year because I got to the location 5 mins late apologized profusely and he kept scolding me and he made me cry. I told him that I’ve never disrespected him like that..
His response was “wow that hurts you feel like I turned my back on you. It’s weird that you let other people treat you like shit but you treat good friends bad, it’s odd.. You need to stop blaming me and people and start reflecting etc” like WTF I called to vent… when did I blame you ???” I told him he was projecting alot onto me. And said this was why I didn’t respond because of how defensive he gets.. he told me to stop and blocked my number. Later that night unblocks me and haven’t spoken to him since. After sometime reflecting on all this I realized that both my “friends” have some mental issues. I’m tired of being their punching bag and doormat.. this makes me sad I don’t know how all this happened in one month. Maybe there’s a reason for this happening. Not only I’m I processing the situation with my now ex bestfriend but also this guy.. what the hell.

I was one of those people who spent some years with a person with BPD.
If I could say one thing it would be know what you are dealing with. Know that using your emotional and intellectual logic to explain them does not work. It will only hurt you.
Instead of reading about BPD go read about people who suffered massive brain injury after accidents. The similarities of both are striking. People who suffer brain injury become a shell of who they were. They have issues with emotional deregulation. It was explained by a scientist who actually went through it. He said after his accident if something happened where he felt hurt or physical pain it felt like he was going to die. He couldn’t regulate his emotions to correct it.
People who were very calm sweet people have trouble regulating anger and frustration.
They actually put them through CBT therapy
Imagine a child who experiences brain injury do you expect their development would progress like children who didn’t experience that injury?
If you were with a person who suffered a major brain injury what would your expectations be after speaking to specialist telling you how your partner would change and why.
Would you allow them to control the finances? Would you allow them to make decisions alone that impact on your lives? What would your expectations be of intimacy? How would you deal with their unexpected frustration and anger? How would you deal with their persona changing?
We are trying to fit people with BPD into our logic framework and expecting they are able to and then being hurt and disappointed when it doesn’t happen.
That isn’t making the person with BPD any less accountable for their health and behaviours.
If people with BPD are not prepared to work toward balancing their deficiency in brain development then their lives will remain the same. Depending on severity and life experiences it might not even be possible.
Now step yourself into the picture. Do you think they are truely able to consent to sex. Capable of taking care of themselves without assistance? Is your expectation they won’t be angry and frustrated in a world their logic doesn’t fit and nobody understands their logic or emotions. They are looking for a safe environment to survive in which doesn’t exist. They are surviving in a world with a persona to facilitate that survival.
They can only focus on that one plan that allows them to survive. They are not able in many instances to make solid decisions which benefit their lives. Especially if they are having highly deregulated experiences.
They can’t handle their own emotions let alone your emotions and hurt
By all means vent, cry, grieve, seek support but at point stand ALL the way back and look at it without involving your emotions.
It’s brain development impairment. It isn’t that different from brain injury or other disabilities.
I worked along side people with mental disability and I can even see some similarities to people with Down syndrome. Some of them have no sexual boundaries and are child like. I would have to say to the girls do not go off with boys at lunch time. I caught one of them in a situation. Others just want friends or a partner because they want to be normal. After a while having lunch with them I forgot they even had an issue. My interactions with just became normal. I didn’t view these people any different BUT it was up to me to ensure they did know my boundaries so we were both safe in our interactions. They tend to fall in love with you very quickly. Latch on to you quickly. They were doing a job and I was a supervisor.
This is my opinion and people might disagree but I now feel accountable not to engage with someone with BPD purely based on they are not truely capable of consenting to an adult relationship.
They might get to that place with a lot of work.
Personally I think it best to move out of their way gently with the least amount of drama. Closure is a bridge too far. You have to create your own closure.
Stop trying to align them to your expectations of what is fair. To your logic and your love.
It will be much better when you do.

This is probably going to be such a mess because I'm trying to get so many thoughts out at once.
I've been in one abusive or unhealthy relationship after another for years, and I have recently started seeing someone after a rather long time of self improvement. I've been trying to get myself to a point where I have a healthy view on relationships instead of the warped view that developed over all that time in the unhealthy relationships.
I recently met someone new, and while we have discussed past relationships, I kept it vague because I don't want to dump my trauma on a potential partner. We went on our first date, and we ended up cuddling, they kept telling me we could stop if I was uncomfortable. It seemed like my comfort was more of a priority than their wants, which I am definitely not used to.
It seems like their love language is touch and affection, but I don't feel like I know how to accept affection anymore. I don't want to mess up a good thing, but I also don't want to let my guard down because I think someone wants to actually love me and it ends up just being more manipulation and I end up in another toxic or abusive relationship.
I am terrified of relationships because I don't want to build a relationship with someone who is going to hurt me. I'm tired of being manipulated and on occasion physically hurt.
I don't want to talk about this with them because I don't want them to think I'm trying to make my problems theirs or I'm trying to make them feel bad for me or something like that. I don't want sympathy. I don't want someone to try and fix me, I can do that for myself, but I don't know if I can let my guard down so I can accept their affection.
The date really was so amazing, but I feel like I was so tense, I may have given the vibe that I was uncomfortable with the affection, or not interested. The affection wasn't the problem it's the emotional strings and baggage that are connected to the affection.
I know I can't build a relationship with my guard up, and I want this to work because they have been nothing but green flags, but I can't get past my anxieties telling me that they aren't being affectionate because they are attracted to me, they're doing it so they can gain control of my emotions and learn how to manipulate me.
How do I move past this, I've tried therapy but the therapist was just there for a paycheck so the only response I would get was grunts, hums, and head movements. So I've been working on it alone, I need some perspective from people who have been in horrible relationships but are now in a healthy relationship, how did you eventually let people be affectionate with you? How did you move past your trauma or your experience so that you could let someone in? How can I tell if they are just really good at manipulation or if they actually want me?
It's gotten to the point where I don't feel like I deserve anything better than abuse, like I don't deserve love, and the only thing I'm good for in a relationship is being used in private because I'm not good enough to be in a public relationship with someone. I know that's not true, but it's just eating away at the back of my mind. I'm just barely good enough to get them off but I'm not good enough to love or even be seen in their vicinity in public.
I'm hoping they are different, and that I will be able to notice any red flags that may pop up, and they will see me as good enough to love or want or whatever. Like I know it's early in the relationship, I mean in the future if this goes well, and it's not unhealthy, or a mutual agreement to move on because we aren't right for each other. I don't know, I just want someone to want me and to care about me the way I end up wanting and caring about them.
I don't know, I'm sorry for rambling.

Hi, I'm a guy and I'm 16 years old. 2 and a half months ago my girlfriend of 10 months broke up with Me and I was heartbroken. For a while I just tried to distract myself from the hurt of the whole situation, and it didn't help at all. I then told myself that I was gonna work on myself for the next 3 months and that I would have a second chance at getting her back during summer( I know it sounds stupid).After that the pain stopped, I missed her but not to the point where it hurt. Knowing I was gonna have a second chance numbed the hurt of the whole thing. Well summer is in a month and I've been improving myself and everything for the past month or two but recently I discovered that there is a chance that she is talking to someone new. That sinking feeling hit my stomach again and now I'm overthinking about everything and really just need a bit of advice. I feel like a idiot doing all of this and feeling this way for a girl. I feel like i should maybe keep at what I'm doing and see what comes of things when summer rolls around and go from there.Any kind of advice would be great, Thanks 🙏🏻

Here's a list of things he's called me:
A bitch (so many times i can't count, despite me having had multiple conversations about how much I hate the word and is super hurtful to me)
A terrible spouse
A terrible mother (on Mother's Day 2021 while I was laying on the couch sick from the second COVID vaccine he told me i was a horrible mother and didn't deserve to be celebrated)
Lazy
Useless
Retarded
A cunt (this one only once)
I've had some stuff go on w my family, so he says, "everyone's had problems with you, even your family." (Back story too long and mostly irrelevant to this -- i had a tough upbringing and had a pretty awful relationship w my mom until recently).
That my mom was right (when she said this when i was a teen), that with my personality, no one would ever love me.
"The kids didn't even miss you, we were better off without you" (when he took the kids to his parents house for 5 days)
I'm sure there's more. Despite all this, he tells me the reason we are not close is bc i push him away. He'll tell me he hates me and wishes he could divorce me (but we have young kids) and the next sentence he says, "we gotta work on being closer but we can't if you keep on not wanting to talk to me!"
I'm not giving details of what we've been fighting about nor how this mess started-- bc my question is, could you ever justify a husband (33) say these things to his wife (me, 35)?
What would I have had to have done to deserve all this?

Patient Info: Male, Caucasian, Mid 60s, Unknown Weight (but probably overweight), Cannabis use, Diabetes (I think), previous spine surgery at base of spine with hardware that has cracked, other medications unknown.
Backstory to current situation: He began having balance issues a couple months ago, and started falling more and more frequently. He then showed occasional confusion, like he didnt quite understand what you said to him but still responded in a related way. The confusion would clear up and he would be fine the majority of the time. Zero neck or arm pain, his lower back where his previous surgery was hurt him a lot due to a broken screw and his knees hurt him (previous knee replacement surgery). Went to the ER one night when family made him due to him being very disoriented and confused. Diagnosed at ER with some sort of issue at the base of his skull that was causing these balance and confusion issues. It was relayed to me as some sort of bone spur or restriction that needed intervention ASAP or the next fall could cause serious damage (if his neck is jolted). Cervical fusion surgery was scheduled pretty quickly fusing 4 vertebrae in his neck.
Current Situation: My Family Member (Male, mid 60s) had a cervical fusion surgery at c3-7 (4 vertebrae) about 1 week ago. First day he woke just fine, seemed happy, wanted to sit up and was doing fine. He is discharged, and over the next days he complains of worsening pain between his shoulders either at the very top of his back/base of neck (second hand info). The pain worsens each day for 3 or so days until he is in such a state that he is grunting, groaning, and banging his fists on things because of the pain. This past Friday he started getting almost violent and seemed incredibly disoriented, delirious, and terrified. He could not talk and did not recognize anyone or seem to understand words spoken to him. He was taken by ambulance to the hospital. Once there, he attacked staff (not like him at all) and seemed like a feral animal or a rabid animal. It took 4 people to get him restrained: and they gave him drugs to paralyze him to keep staff safe, restrained him, and sedated him to the point of being on a ventilator. Blood tests came back with only mild THC as anything out of the ordinary. He likely took his entire 30 day pain killer rx from the surgery (bottle was found empty) within a few days HOWEVER the prescription was weak enough that the doctor remarked that the 'drugs he is currently on is stronger than the whole bottle' so unlikely to be an issue. MRI came back fine, all tests they have run have come back fine (aside from blood tests, MRI, and 24hr seizure monitoring test, I do not know if other tests were preformed or what they would be.)
Each day they try to let the sedation wear off and remove the vent to gauge his reaction, and each day it has been the same nearly immediate intense aggression putting staff at risk. He broke restraints. I was told his eyes rolled back into his head where only white showed during one of these wake up attempts, and that when he does gain alertness he looks absolutely terrified and behaves like a cornered prey. So they just sedate/paralyze/intubate again. At this point the plan is to try waking him each day until he stops being aggressive due to tests not showing a diagnosis. He has been given a feeding tube today.
His surgeon's nurse had been contacted today and she said she does not believe this is related to the surgery and she has never heard of a reaction like this. His current doctors (not affiliated with the surgery) have told his mom and sister that 'they have seen this before' but also 'they don't know what this is', which is odd.
Is there anything else that could be going on, and tests that should be preformed, any idea on why this is happening? I cannot stand the idea of him being in terror over and over waking up to being pulled off a vent then put back on, indefinitely.
I apologize for the vague information, but any ideas would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!

Had a virus about a month ago (typical sore throat and sinus pressure) directly followed by strep a week later. Took Amoxicillin and cleared it up then throat started hurting again a few days after the antibiotic and has been red and started getting these blister looking things appearing. (Top one in the pic is healing up but the bottom one just appeared today). Checked in with ENT and he gave me magic mouthwash. It helps soothe it but he didn’t really say what they were. Any suggestions on what’s going on? Just a byproduct of the strep from several weeks ago?
I have Ankylosing Spondylitis and take cosentyx monthly. I’m due for my cosentyx shot but don’t want to take it if I’m still sick. No fever and I feel fine besides the mild throat irritation.

The Hanging Tree By John Westrick

The ball streaked towards little Jimmy Hanson, covering the distance uncomfortably fast. The scrawny boy two sizes too small with the aviator glasses, cringed out of the way. It landed directly where he had been standing, and like that the game ended.
“Damnit Jimmy, you're supposed to catch the ball not hide from it!” a fat kid with a glove on one hand cried.
A skinny boy with glasses turned from the pitcher's mound to look at Jimmy disdain clearly visible on his face, “This is the third run you’ve allowed, and you wonder why we never let you play with us. You’re dog shit! Actually, I apologize to all loads of shit out there, you’re even more useless. I’d prefer to have Roger Morris on our team and he can’t see a damn thing with those bug eyes.”
An easy-going boy with blonde shaggy hair and a confident smile strolled up to Jimmy, extending his hand to assist, and said, “Here let me help you up. After all, you're the best player on our team. MVP hands down. Come on boys, give him a cheer!”
The boys chanted Jimmy’s name in a mocking parade of triumph.
“I don’t need your help, David,” said Jimmy.
Dirt smeared and face growing hot, the embarrassed boy attempted to climb to his feet. The hand extended to help, struck lightning-fast, catching the smaller boy squarely in the chest. With a groan of pain, the dirty boy hit the ground for the second time that afternoon.
“Well, if I knew you liked to eat dirt so much, I never would’ve offered to help,” said David, a wolfish smile forming on the landscape of his face.
A chorus of cruel laughter echoed all around.
“I hate you David Baxly,” said the wheezing boy.
David looked at Jimmy with disgust, giving him a savage kick to his left kidney. “Why don’t you do us all a favor and die. I doubt even your family would miss you.”
The rest of the boys walked away leaving the bleeding Jimmy whimpering on the ground.
No longer crying from pain but seething anger, slowly he began to crawl to his feet. “I wish I could go somewhere else. Just pick up and move and never have to see those shitheads ever again,” said Jimmy speaking to no one in particular.
It was thoughts of revenge that occupied his mind, half-baked plans, he didn't have the courage to act upon. No matter, it wasn’t revenge he truly sought, but a friend. The idea of having people look at him and truly see him. Humiliation for David Baxly was just an added bonus.
The bloody boy was still fantasizing about these things, when he found himself staring at the intersection of Jackson and main street in the sleepy town of Brookhollow, Tennessee. Brookhollow is like many rural towns, so tiny that it doesn’t even appear on the map. There are 876 residents in the tight-knit community, according to the 2008 census. Main street boasts one general store, a gas station, the town hall, and Debbie’s Diner.
It was on the outside of the later building that he saw the missing sign of Jack Dunkin, a 12-year-old boy from a neighboring town a few miles to the west. Jack was from Polk, a slightly larger town and known rival to Brookhollow. Even though Jack was in the same grade as Jimmy, they had never met.
Jimmy looked at the picture and saw that the boy had been missing for nearly 3 months. He wondered how his mom would react if he was missing that long; he reached the conclusion that she probably wouldn’t even notice. Ever since she took that job at Debbie’s to pay for the remainder of her husband’s gambling debts, she was hardly even home.
She was gone when he woke and didn't come back too well after he was asleep. The only time Jimmy had any communication with Laura Hanson was on Sundays. Even this small exposure was tainted by the bone deep exhaustion. She may have been present, even so, she wasn't there. Laura wakes, eats, drinks, uses the bathroom; yet she isn't really living. She reminded the boy of those cheesy horror movies they sometimes play late at night. The walking dead.
As little as his interaction with Laura, at least she still lived in the ramshackle motorhome right off the main highway. His dad, if he even still qualified to be called that, left some time back, draining the joint bank account and leaving the two of them penniless. Jimmy didn’t even know where he stayed, let alone had a phone number for the bastard. A few years back he received a postcard from him. He was shelled up in some two-bit motel in the thriving city of Las Vegas. On the back of the card was a charming little note, it said, “Jimmy, I wish you could see the city. Maybe you could come out and visit. I’d love for you to come and hang with my friends. Ps. Could you have your mom send me some money, I’m in a little bit of trouble here.
This led to his first real fight with his mom. He was adamant on going and meeting his father, thinking that if he got to know him he could change him. Bring him back. His mom wanted nothing to do with the man, nor did she want her son to be hurt again. The argument got heated and words were exchanged. In the end, he stayed, but some things chafe over time. Things were never quite the same.
If the boy was honest with himself, he would have to admit there is no one in his life. He has no friends in school, there is no one waiting for him at home, and he is not a part of any extracurricular activities. He goes to school, comes home, does his homework, makes dinner for his mom, and goes to bed. It has never occurred to him that he is lonely, the fact is he has never known anything else.
Jimmy doesn’t actually live in Brookhollow, his house is about two miles north up highway 29. He lives outside of the school’s jurisdiction, so he is unable to take the bus. He walks to school every day. The walk is peaceful and he actually looks forward to it. The boy possesses an overactive imagination and gets lost in his fantasies. A little less today, his ribs ache with every step. But not even this inconvenience can ruin the solitary 2-mile trek back home. He makes no turns, highway 29 is main street. All he needs to do is walk straight and he will arrive at his house.
But he is not walking in rural Tennessee anymore. He is a pioneer exploring the Great Frontier. Native Americans and wolves stalk him at night, he must be aware of the dangers that lie beyond every turn. He can see his way through any situation with the help of his trusty companion and best friend, One-eyed Pete. Pete used to be an outlaw that robbed and cheated people, but changed his ways when Jimmy saved him from being hung on the hanging tree.
A shutter runs through his body every time he remembers the hanging tree. It’s the largest oak he had ever seen. He loves to climb trees but would never dream of climbing that one. It is twisted, not a single leaf on its branches. If evil was ever a location, it would be at the heart of that gnarled tree. Jimmy doesn’t like to think about it. It always seems to ruin his mood. Poison his mind. His fantasies always turn darker when he thinks of the oak.
Suddenly he is aware of exactly how alone he is. A full mile out from the safety of the town. No one is nearby. It’s just him, the trees, and his own tormented imagination. He wishes he wouldn’t have thought of that tree. He wishes he had a dad to pick him up from school, but there is no rescue for him. In Jimmy’s experience, heroes only exist in the story books.
“The hanging tree is in your mind, Jimmy, it isn't real,” he tells himself over and over as if to ward away evil. And why not? For that tree is most definitely evil, the hideous villain in an insidious plot.
In the primal portion of his mind, he senses danger. The same skittish feeling the antelope experiences shortly before the concealed lion pounces and feasts on flesh.
“Trees don’t eat little boys,” murmurs the frightened boy.
“Maybe so, yet that oak could hardly be classified in the same league as other trees,” responds his own treasonous thoughts.
The boy's mind splinters; warring factions jockeying for supremacy. Paranoia seizes him, inky black hands clawing the air out of his lungs. A young boy unaware of the inward mutiny happening amidst his own wits, completely left to his own demented imagination. Yet, the stakes of this adventure are a great deal higher than any he has yet to experience.
His mother was fond of telling him, “What you think, you become.”
A truly awful thought slinks into his mind unbidden. What if the stories his mind conjures could gain reality too? The thought overwhelms the boy. His eyes shift back and forth searching for threats. Jimmy’s senses are keen to his surroundings. Every twig snapping, a creature stalking. Every bush rustling, a hungry beast ready to devour. Yet, the petty fears of a child's tormented mind pales to the unearthly wrongness of the hanging tree.
“What if mom is right?” says the concerned boy to the emptiness. At this unwelcome thought the boy slams his eyes closed in a futile attempt to banish the horrific idea.
“The hanging tree isn’t real,” says Jimmy, knowing in his heart this isn’t true. In the back of his mind, the boy is certain that the moment he opens his eyes, he will see it. He will see the strands of rope dangling from the gnarled branches. He will smell the smell of decaying bodies. He will hear the creak of rope swaying gently in the cool breeze.
The boy doubles his efforts in a vain attempt to keep his eyes closed. He sees red due to the strain he is putting on his muscles. He hears the steady pulse of his blood rushing in his head. The boy also understands that all this effort is for naught. He must open his eyes at some point. Jealousy creeps into the boy’s heart. Envy for the man born without sight. For the boy understands the moment he sees, there will be no coming back.
The moment has come.
Jimmy can no longer keep his eyes shut. Seconds before his eyes fling open, he feels the gentle touch of someone's hand on his shoulder. This touch startles him, and the boy throws wide his eyes.
Sure enough a few hundred yards in front of him, stands the abomination. A lone tree on the top of a bald, scarred hill. Not a living thing to be seen. No vegetation growing on the hill, no squirrels scuttling about, just a great oak, standing; an obscene gesture to the god of this world. The only fruit of this tree the decaying flesh of dead men, and likewise, the only cup the curdled blood of those hanging. A final meal set for the boy, an unholy communion.
The hand, whose was it? Was it even human? The little boy left visibly shaking at the touch of the unknown. Is this death? The icy grip of the Reaper himself here to harvest with his scythe. No marriage, no children, not knowing the pleasures of true friendship. Life cut short, a lamentable state of affairs.
It was in this line of thought, where true courage was mustered. A strength measured not by the size of his muscles or the amount one could lift, but the more impressive type, the type quantified in the amount of shit one can wade. Identified in the amount of crap hands dealt without bowing out altogether. Young Jimmy Hanson did the unthinkable, he turned and faced death looking it in the eyes.
Eyes, yes, but death perhaps not. It was no titan of horror, nor was it the poster child of demented evil. Child it was, but this boy was familiar. Not anyone from his class, yet he knew the boy. In a moment of clarity, he recognized him. It was the missing kid, Jack Dunkin.
He looked identical to the poster on the side of Debbie’s Diner. He wore the same black and white Van’s tee shirt, ripped blue jeans, and some tattered Nike tennis shoes. The thoroughly terrified Jimmy stood staring at the missing boy, mouth ajar.
Jack with an easy-going grin plastered on his face, said, “It's about time, someone comes looking for me. I've been waiting for you Jimmy, far too long.”
With an audible click the boy shut his gaping mouth and responded, “Ja- Jack, you've been missing for nearly three months. Have you been out here all along? Are you alone? Are you hurt?” Jimmy fired these questions in rapid succession, growing more suspicious with each word.
“I’ve been right here, waiting for you to come and play with me. You see, I am like you. I never had anyone to play with either. Now you are here, and you must stay with me,” said the bigger boy with a smile on his face.
Jimmy’s mind quieted, for the first time in his life he saw himself clearly. A boy with no friends, no father, hardly a mother, bullied every day, and no way of escape. Clarity revealed the harsh truth. A day had not gone by that he wasn’t lonely. There was no one in his life. There was no life for him.
The undersized boy looked at the other with longing in his eyes. He thirsted for a friend, like a man lost at sea. He hungered for companionship, like a man stuck in the wilderness. It wasn’t just a desire; he was desperate for a friend. If the bigger boy would leave, Jimmy felt as if his soul would tear in half. His heart would shatter into a thousand pieces unable to be put back together. The boys' eyes were a mirror reflecting the same sad truth, they understood each other. Both had lived, and neither had anyone to share it with.
The boys bound by shared hardships grasped onto each other refusing to let go. The combined burden of loneliness lessened by two backs, instead of one.
With few words exchanged, the two of them created soul ties. Not the ties of lovers, but of lifelong friends. The type one dies for. The rare type of friendship that most people never form in their entire life. It was rich. It was wholesome. Jimmy felt as if his life was complete. The one thing he always desired truly fulfilled.
Jack grabbed the smaller boy’s hand and guided him towards the tree.
Jimmy, not wanting to get anywhere near that monstrosity, tried to pull back.
“Don’t worry. The tree is a good place. It will take us to a new land filled with boys and girls just like you and I. No David’s or bullies like him,” said a smiling Jack.
“How did you know about David? You’ve been missing all this time,” said a concerned looking Jimmy.
“Jimmy, I hear whispers. My friends tell me things. They will tell you secrets too. If you want to be friends with me, that is.” The bigger boy looked down at his ragged shoes. He looked so pitiful and Jimmy was so starved for companionship, how could he not follow the boy.
Jack led the two of them to the scarred trunk of the tree. Here he let go of Jimmy’s hand, telling the boy, “Do exactly what I do.”
Jimmy’s fear bottled up deep in his guts. He felt as if he was going to explode. The tree was sinister and twisted. Evil through and through. Yet, the little boy had never had a friend. He was not willing to throw that away so easily.
Jack walked to the lowest hanging branch. He reached up and grabbed one of the dangling nooses. He wrapped it around his neck and looked at Jimmy. “Don’t worry, no pain is felt. The hanging tree is magic. You’ll close your eyes on this world, and wake up in a better place with me and all of my friends,” said a smiling Jack.
“Ja-Jack, I don’t think I can do this. It seems dangerous. I need to go back home soon. My mom will be waiting for me,” said a terrified Jimmy.
A heartbroken Jack looked at the smaller boy and said, “Jimmy, I can’t believe you would lie to me. Your mom isn’t home and she wouldn’t even notice that you are missing. Come with me. I am the only one who cares for you.”
Tears streaming down the smaller boy’s face, he responded, “Please don’t make me do it! This place frightens me. Can’t you just come home with me?”
“No! This world despises people like you and me. We weren’t made for it. We were made for the hanging tree. This is where you belong,” snarled the bigger boy.
Jimmy, eyes still running, reached with trembling hands for the dangling noose. He seized it. With one final glance at his friend, the little boy placed the loop around his neck. Immediately the noose drew tight. It felt as if the tree was hauling him up by it. The boy kicked and squirmed. Trying to shout for help, but his airflow was cut off. He managed to make a choking noise, then with one final twitch all was still. Still as the glassy surface of a lake on a spring day.
Little Jimmy Hanson had finally made a friend.
The two boys remained dangling together, gently swaying in the stale autumn breeze.

My girlfriend (F30) and I (F25) have been together for 4 years. We live 2 hours away from each other. She has meet a lot of my family due to them living in the same state as us, but I have yet to meet her family because they live in Texas. Though we haven't met, I do talk to her mom on FaceTime whenever my girlfriend talks to her so it's not like we have a bad relationship. My girlfriend and I have made attempts to go to Texas to see her but life always came in the way. And though my girlfriend has gone there to see her mom, it usually during the times her mom is going through something or a funeral and she doesn't want me to meet them during situations like that. I did try to meet her mom recently when I was staying over my girlfriends place because she is a truck driver and just happened to be driving through the state, but her mom expressed that she was tired and looked a mess so we didn't get the chance to meet. It was disappointing, however, she did say that she was planning on coming down on mothers day along with my girlfriends brother and his kids.
My mom usually likes taking trips during mothers day weekend and we usually celebrate it as a family the weekend after, so I told my girlfriends mom that we can see each other then. I told my mom about my plans to ensure she didn't feel any type of way about it too which she didn't). My girlfriends family was suppose to stay Friday to Monday morning and she asked if I could come that Saturday night because they were planning on going to see her grandfather 4 hours away. I have to take a bus in order to see her, so once she told me their plans, I booked my ticket the same day. For the past 2 months, my girlfriend has been working overtime in order to help prepare for their arrival and I tried my best to assist with that by buying things for her apartment.
Monday, the week they were coming down, my mom informed me that she was diagnosed with lupus. My mom almost passed away 4 years ago from a blood clot and ever since then, her health has kind of been all over the place. However, for 1 year, it did seem like everything was starting to become under control. So to hear she had lupus, did make me emotional. My mom told me that she was still okay with me meeting my girlfriends mom because she was still going to continue with her own plans. I informed my girlfriend about my mom's diagnosis and she was empathetic about the whole situation.
Fast forward to the day I was preparing to leave, I spoke to my girlfriend that morning and we expressed how excited we were for the overdue introduction in person. When I was in the middle of getting ready, my mom decided to have a conversation with me about mothers day. She expressed that she actually does want my sister and I to spend mothers day together with her because her health is starting to scare her and she doesn't know what will happen in the future. I don't see my mother crying often so to hear her breaking down, hurt me. I never want my mom to feel that she isn't supported so I decided I was going to spend mothers day with her. I called my girlfriend soon after and informed her what was going on. Her happy attitude soon turned to an annoyed one and said "I knew you weren't going to come." I asked her if she was upset and she said no and she loved me then got off the phone with me quickly saying she'll call me back. I texted her expressing how sorry I am and explained to her that it didn't feel right to just meet her mom after my mom broke down to me and up until now, I always had the intention of coming and would love to try and make a trip to her if we can. Though I won't be there in person, I told her that I would love to still speak to them through FaceTime. She told me " they're good, enjoy your family, love you."
I thought maybe things were okay but it feels like she is distant towards me. Whether she's busy with family or friends, she always makes time to at least text me and always calls me at night. The only times she doesn't is when she's upset. She did call me on mothers day that morning, but she asked if she could put my mom on the phone to say happy mothers day and then she hung up immediately after speaking to her. I tried not t jump to conclusions at first and just decided that maybe she'll talk to me after her family leaves cause she could be busy with them but I know they have left now and I still haven't heard anything. She has 2 phones, so even if something happened to her phone, she always makes sure to text me on her other one if something happened. Am I maybe overthinking things or aitah that could have handled things differently? I'm kind of lost on how to go about things and what to do.

My bf [26M] broke up with me [23F] a month ago after being together for over 3 years. He continues to say that we're broken up but that he's not sure he wants to stay broken up. I find that to be unfair to me because I feel like I'm being strung along. He says he just needs time to think and that as much as he wants and loves me he's not sure we are for one another. He still wants to cuddle and he still calls me his babe but without the title that being in a relationship brings. I have a lot of resentment building because why should I wait for him if he's trying to imagine a life without me? He hasn't told a single member of his family but he's told his best friend and a female friend who imo has no business knowing that. He says he doesn't want his family to know unless the breakup becomes final. It's really confusing to me and I don't understand. I've started to distance myself from him emotionally and moved to our spare bedroom- he didn't like that. He says he wants me to stay put and keep sleeping next to him but I don't feel comfortable next to him anymore- not unless he chooses me. Even then idk if I can look past how much this has hurt me. I reached out to the man who took my virginity in 2019 (we'll call him Joe) and we've been talking for about 2 days. He is not a love interest due to the fact that we're not compatible emotionally and he doesn't want a partner or family in the future- it's completely sexual. I find myself fantasizing about him because well...he did really well at pleasuring me and my bf is currently my ex so I felt like it was probably OK. Then I woke up this morning after texting Joe practically all night and felt an intense amount of guilt. I know it's not technically cheating but I feel like I'm not who I thought I was. I also know even if my ex were to finalize the breakup before I told him about it that it would still hurt him a lot so I can't even imagine how he'd feel if he wanted to get back together. Also another detail is that I myself pushed to finalize our breakup several days ago due to the weight of uncertainty really dragging me down. We got into a fight because I was opening up about how much the uncertainty was affecting me and that I feel dragged along and like he's avoiding commitment and he fell asleep. I was tearing up and opening up and he fell asleep lol. I got up and was like "idk what it is about my distress that is so damn calming that it puts you right to sleep." I will admit I got emotional and started to go off and after a couple minutes of arguing he said "You know what, this isn't going to work" and I responded with "Thank you for finally giving me an answer" and then told him that it was okay and that I don't want us to be on bad terms despite our relationship being over. I hugged him and began moving my things to the spare bedroom and he started crying and saying "Wait no I'm sorry, give me more time please. I love you". I just hugged him and told him that I love him too. If you are a man PLEASE tell me what you think of this and also tell me if I'm a cheater. Don't hold back- if I'm for the streets I probably deserve it. Girls opinions are totally welcome and wanted too!!

My boyfriend (S, 35 male) and I (30 female) have been dating for a year and a half, and living together for 7 months. I have been considering breaking up with him following a few conflicts over the past months. When I brought this up to him, he apologized profusely for his attitude and promised he would start seeing a therapist and would never hurt me again. Is it reasonable to give him another chance? Am I overreacting? Am I overly sensitive?
Just to for a bit of context: I am neurodivergent and have some difficulty reading between the lines. I did ask my therapist what to do… but she doesn’t give me plain answers and wants me to come to realizations by myself… Also english is a third language for me, sorry for any mistakes.
So here are the conflicts I mentioned above: 1– A few weeks ago, S invited his parents and 3 brothers, as well as my sister, to our place for dinner. After a nice meal, we all sat down to watch TV. As the evening progressed, his brothers and my sister left one by one, but his parents did not budge. I eventually realized that they were going to spend the night. No one informed me of this, nor did they ask me if I had plans or if I agreed to it. I dont’t know if this changes anything, but this is my house, and my boyfriend lives in, rent-free, as I have a higher paying job. When we went to sleep, I told S that, in the future, when his parents decided to stay over, I wanted to be told in advance. He got defensive, raised his voice and said that he felt that I was telling him to ask for my permission to invite his parents. That I didn’t want to see them. That, in his culture, family doesn’t ask. That he didn’t know they would sleep over, etc. I slept on the couch that night. The next morning, I tried to deescalate the situation. I explained to him that I did not want him to ask for permission. That this was his home too and he could invite whoever he wanted, but that I preferred to know in advance. He said not to worry, because his parents would probably never want to come over again as he felt that I was cold to them and ignored them all night by being on my phone on the couch (which is true, I was upset). However, his parents never told him this… and did come back. I asked why he would say such a thing if they never mentioned it. He explained that he knew his parents by heart and knew that they would react this way. I then accused him of emotionally manipulating and gaslighting me. He thought about this for a few hours, then agreed that he did gaslight me, albeit unknowingly, because our fight brought back insecurities from a previous relationship. I forgave him and we moved on. He promised he’d see a therapist and would never hurt me this way again.
2–S borrowed a few thousand dollars for a failing family business owned by his brothers. As 6 weeks passed by and no one mentioned reimbursing me, I proposed that each of the brothers pay me 100$ a month until the debt was paid off. He agreed and fought with his brothers multiple times, but they would repeatedly say they have no money at the time, or change the subject. In the end, S took it upon himself to pay their debt, and does so by sending me 500$ every month. Following this, S’s work computer broke, and a new one would cost between 4 and 5K. He asked if I could help out, and this made me panic, as I wondered if he was using me, which I expressed to him. He comforted me in the moment, but a few hours later, he told me that he decided to get a loan from the bank to be able to pay his family’s debt as soon as possible, so that I don’t feel used. He seemed mad and raised his voice, but he denied being angry at me. “I am only angry at myself for putting myself in a situation to be told that I use someone.” I felt bad and apologized multiple times and the conflict deescalated. We ended up making up.
3– We went to visit my family for a week. He was a bit sick and did not socialize much. He spent most of his time on his phone, in my childhood room. My mom was worried about him. My sister tried to include him into activities with little success and later told me that he was participating in family conversations only in my presence, but that as soon as I stepped out of the room, he’d pick up his phone and ignore everyone else. I did not say anything to him, as I knew he was not feeling well. However, one evening, I had planned to see some childhood friends. And my mom asked S to have dinner with the family, but he refused, and went on a car ride and to McDonalds instead. Mom proposed different food options, worried that he didn’t like the food, but he refused. This made me very angry, but I did not want to seem accusatory, so I decided to let it go for the moment, until I was calmer and had found the right words to bring this up respectfully. He drove me to meet my friends later on, and blew up in the car, yelling that he felt I was cold and that he knew I was mad and that he knew I was about to explode but couldn’t handle the wait anymore. I cried and told him that I just needed some time to deal with my feelings and I had the right not to talk to him about everything that bothered me. He yelled at me the next day as well, saying that he was “worried he would get tired of my attitude”. I later asked my sister if I seemed cold towards S to her, and she said no. S and I later talked about all this, and he apologized profusely and said that he was tired and sick and worried.
4–He asked that I do not talk to my therapist about him because he doesn’t want people talking about him and knowing his business. We had an argument about it. I told him that this felt controlling and he recognized this and apologized dozens of times, explaining that he did not know about confidentiality, and that he overreacted because this brought back past trauma. He doesn’t mind my therapist anymore.
And other such little arguments where he reacts because of past trauma. Aside from these arguments, he is the sweetest man. Makes pancakes every morning. Massage twice a week. Kind. Very loving. Very generous. Sacrifices his own wellbeing for those he loves. Wears his heart on his sleeve. He left his better paying job to spend more time with me. We do a lot of activities together. Cleans. Cooks. Listens to me. Supports me. We have similar life goals. Drives 30 minutes into town if I want ice cream. Makes my lunchbox every morning. I really love the man. Plus, he’s sooooo good looking.
I was ready to leave him after the last argument (the yelling while at my parents’)… and I told him about it. He accepted the possibility of a break up, saying he only wants to know I am happy. But he asked for one last chance. I told him that I felt as if I couldn’t speak to him because of his reactions and that it felt somewhat abusive. He said that I was right and he understood that his reactions are not healthy and that he has to deal with his trauma. And he gave me examples where he thought he could’ve acted better, which showed that he really understood where the manipulation/overreaction occurred. He promised he’d never get upset at me again for no reason and things have been perfect for the past 2 weeks.
Even when I bring up something that upsets me, he listens and adresses the issue calmly and kindly.
Yet, I feel that I have trouble forgiving all the fights we’ve had where I felt muted. I don’t know if these are such grave offenses of if I’m just being overly sensitive. I tend to be very naive and I’ve been burned badly in the past, so now… am I being overly cautious. Are these incidents really so bad if he understands what he’s done?

I have a discover student card and I’m skeptical about redeeming the cash back … Does it hurt my credit score ? If not do I have to pay it back or is it actually my money to take?

so i recently knew this girl in middle school being friend of a friend or more of being my friends sister. I and a M16, she is a F15, and it's been going for 2 weeks, anyways, lately tho now in high school she has been going to the school club me and my friends are in mainly due to her brother and cousin being in there till she suddenly see's me and starts staring up at me, one of my friends is 5'3 and the same height as her, im 6'3-6'4 so i can see why she is looking up but the thing is we dont say a word, she just stares at me, anyways didn't think much till next time she came around she was with, presumably from what i think her best friend, could be a relative but she was dealing with a cramp and walks up to me instead of to her friends or brother and i see her arms try to hug my arm but she reflexes back and says it hurts, and i can tell she wanted comfort but why from me? anyways i told her the story on how i tried to date her brother and how it emotionally made me messed up when he lied to me and then she pets me on the head while i was in a weak state and wasnt expecting it, later she does end up hugging my arm this is all so far of this story and i need help, understanding if she likes me. Forgot to add but I see her act this way with her best friend, only difference why I think she is into me is cause I've seen her 4 times and she's already clinging to me, literally, she acted this clingy after her bf left last year and shes really clingy from it, i need to know if she likes me or seems interested?

There are myriad reasons a narcissist doesn’t offer closure. I will go over two of them but there are many others. Each subtype is unique as well and may offer more nuances than are outlined here.
The discard is one of the four parts of the narcissistic abuse cycle: lovebombing, devaluation, discard, and hoovereidealization. The discard is very hard for most victims to wrap their mind around. You’ve been cheated on. You’ve been hurt. You have found out the person you thought was the love of your life and everything you’d been waiting on isn’t even a quarter of that. You’re bewildered that someone you love to pieces and would do anything for has abruptly disappeared from your life or treated you so bad that you have no choice but to.
So now what? Will (s)he leave me forever now that they have their new supply and have told you how much they’ve despise you and everything you stand for?
Of course not. Not without playing the discard out.
The narcissist leaves you in a painful way. Sometimes they let the mask fully slip and cheat on you openly. Sometimes they ghost you and run off blocking you.
Either way it occurs, it’s based in the narcissists need for control and aversion to shame.
Shame is one of the few things that hurt the narcissist. Controlling the narrative gives them the sense that they are in control. So if they lose control during the discard, that’s when things will get scary. Protecting their precious image of themselves and others is of the utmost importance to them.
The narcissist, depending on the supply, may need that window open should they want to return. This is especially for those who have already been with the narcissist in the past and been discarded in the past. It is important for the sake of the cycle that you believe in the discard. Your pain, your hurt, this is negative supply. Your reaction fuels the narcissist. Your tears are like Gatorade for the narcissist who is going through hell and high water to hurt you.
It’s a delicate balance because the narcissist has to hurt you in vacuum like conditions. The narcissist isn’t going to berate you and show the world the psychotic demon within, no. The narcissist has many faces (s)he needs to protect and everyone can’t see how cruel and hurtful (s)he truly is. The narcissist has carefully curated each of their circles, home, work, school, clubs, and friends. Only you and the narcissist’s other victims will see the final form of contempt and emotional violence.
Now that the narcissist has you believing that it’s all your fault, that you are less than, and have blamed it all on you, now it’s time to rub salt in the wound. The more drama, the better. The more they can twist the knife, the better. If they know just up and leaving you will cause maximum injury, you may just get that. As long as they believe you’re hurting.
When they begin to re-idealize you, their confabulation will literally replace their memory of what they have done. As their new supply begins to call them out for their BS like you did, begins to anger at their deplorable actions the way you have done, boom. All of a sudden you aren’t so bad anymore.
The way they leave keeps your mind spinning. It keeps you stuck in the fog. It keeps you ready to accept any level of misdeed just to have the narcissist back in your life. So when they call you out of the blue 3 years later, you’ve done no healing. You don’t care if the narcissist is monkey branching and you’re ready to accept even bigger lies than the last time you took them back in your life. They look you in your eyes and explain that they didn’t mean what they said during the discard. They really mean it, because they’ve forgotten it.
They’re hoping you’ve forgotten who they really are, too.

After many years I finally got caught by the covid bug. I’m 42f mom to 4 kids and everyone has had it but me, including my husband. Not sure how I caught it but I was sick a week prior to COVID so it probably got me when my immune system was down. Not sure where, possibly from an orchestra performance for my son.
Symptoms: loss of taste (which was what caused me to test), feeling crummy, itchy eye and throat and sneezing (first symptoms which I thought were due to allergies), bad nasal congestion, headache and pressure, mentally slow, but no fever.
Also, anyone know whether getting paxlovid is important for a healthy individual? Im on day 2/3 now, will it help me avoid worsening symptoms or long covid? I’m training for a marathon and have always been a long distance runner. Of course I’m resting now. I did try to go on a slow 3 mi run, but came back with a headache and after reading these posts, I’m resting cause I don’t want to get long Covid.