Or rather, in a dedicated repost, because silly me couldn't read the pinned post and wait a few hours before posting my text the first time.
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After giving a proper rewrite to Ayano, it's now time to do the same for her love interest. But first, I must give my apologises. The title of my post is "Reworking Taro", but it's actually misleading because there was barely any work to redo to begin with. Ok, there was the easy jab at the original character. Reading my previous rewrite posts isn't necessary to understand this one, but would allow you to grasp the differences with the official game better. If you're too lazy to do so, just keep in mind that my rewrite is a bit more social-focused. Anyway, here's my full-fledged take on our senpai.

Just an ordinary upperclassman: Daiki Tanaka (田中 大樹)

Although Taro Yamada is a perfectly valid Japanese name, it's literally the Japanese equivalent of John Doe. This name just gives me the impression that nothing really matters about him, and that it isn't even worth the effort thinking about a proper name. That might have been the dev's intention, given Taro's characterisation in the game, but I personally can't consider being so lazy about the second most important character. So, rather than keeping this name that makes Senpai seem like some background character, I chose names that actually are very common in Japan in order to keep the "average guy" feeling. The most common Japanese surname is Sato (佐藤), but that sounded a bit too generic for me, so I opted for Tanaka (田中), another widespread name that you might already have seen in some anime. Surprisingly, despite also being common, Yamada (山田) doesn't even come close. For his first name, "Daiki" (written like this: 大樹) means "big tree". It's a fairly popular boy name during the last decades and doesn't refer to anything particular, except maybe the fact that he is a big brother.
Just like many other mediocre harem MC, the main problem with Taro is that he is extremely bland. There's literally nothing worth noticing about him. Now don't get me wrong, making one of your main characters an Average Joe isn't a bad thing in itself, and I know that a yandere having a crush on ordinary people is nothing uncommon in modern Japanese media. However, even the most boringly average person that you can think of still has defined personality, goals, and passions that makes them at least more interesting than a slice of stale bread. In our case, you could replace Taro with a random object and the story would still make as much sense, which usually isn't a good sign for a story meant to have a serious tone. Just like my name choice suggested it, I wanted my version of Taro to stay ordinary. However, I tried to flesh out the little characterization he originally has to make him stand out in his own way, so that the numerous girls' interest in him would feel a bit less unbelievable.
This is Daiki Tanaka, a 17-years old Japanese boy living with his parents and his little sister. Like many other Japanese high-schoolers, he goes to high school from Monday to Friday, attends classes, studies for his tests, and hopes he will be accepted in a good university. And just like many other teenagers, he is is having interrogations about what he wants to do after graduation, how his classmates view him, and whether he'll find himself a girlfriend. Clearly, he's just an average student. Among the typical students you can find in a school, Daiki is a hard-working one. Pressured both by his parents and himself to get the best opportunities he can to settle his future, he is self-conscious about his academic performances and is always trying to improve his grades. Thus, he preferred to remain clubless and spend his free time alone to focus on his studies. Most of the time, he is seen studying at the school library, or reading a book of classic literature next to the fountain. But behind this ordinary reserved bookworm loner appearance is a kind and cultivated boy with a strong sense of justice and a clear passion for the old texts he's reading, making him actually quite a charming person to spend time with for those who can see past his plain exterior. Ayano, of course, is one of those few people, but little did she know that she won't be the only one interested in her dear senpai.

Gameplay role

According to the wiki:

Gameplay-wise, Taro is more similar to a "moving obstacle" rather than a regular interactive student, as he cannot be interacted with normally.

And you see, to me, that's a big problem. You spend the entire game keeping rivals away from Senpai by killing them, making them uninterested in him, or ruining their reputation, and after all the bad experiences he had with those (rather) normal girls, you expect me to believe that the girl Senpai, the perfectly normal guy at all levels, ends up choosing is the creepy lonely student that he has barely spoken to? Nah, I don't buy it. This is why, in my rewrite, my Senpai would be (most of the time) considered as a regular student that you can actually interact with. That means, first, that Ayano wouldn’t get immediately flustered by him when approaching him. I understand that people, especially teenagers, can act shy, nervous, or a little clumsy when their crush are at sight, but seriously, the depiction of this behaviour in the game is completely ridiculous. So, in my hypothetical game, you will have a small amount of time where you will be able to act normally near Daiki and talk to him before your heart starts beating louder and the screen gradually turns pink. Past this point, things pretty much happen the same as in the official game, since Ayano is emotionally unstable. Naturally, the more you interact with Daiki, the longer you will be able to remain calm in his presence.
Now that Senpai can be interacted with, it’s time to explore the potential of this addition by giving him another feature regular students have: tasks. Even if you can withstand his aura a bit better than in the official game, most of the conversations you’ll have with him won’t be long due to Ayano’s shyness. So, if you want to befriend Daiki, those little errands are the key to increase your affinity with him. For a more immersive narration, Daiki's tasks won't be your usual fetch quests that you can accept or refuse, but small talk where you must pay attention and figure out what to do to by yourself. The tasks will be at first very simple, like bringing him his schoolbag that he forgot in his classroom or gifting him the book he wanted to buy. Then, as he feels more comfortable around you, he will start talking a bit more openly about his life and his preoccupations, naturally leading to more complex tasks with more vague formulations and less obvious solutions, such as helping him become less invisible among his classmates. What would be the point of doing all that, will you ask? Having a higher affinity with Daiki will allow Ayano to make him follow her if you need to tactically move him for one of your eliminations. He will also be more likely to reject the rivals’ love confessions in case you don’t have the time to deal with them yourself. Moreover, narrative-wise, I think having the main character interact with their love interest would be a more realistic and healthier depiction of romance in the story. Well, as “healthy” as a yandere can be. But of course, you could also completely ignore this mechanic and focus on eliminating if you want to.
Finally, I would like to improve the reactions he has regarding students' disappearances. Despite all those things happening near him, he is shocked for a bit and then just kinda... accept it like nothing strange happened? The second most important character of the game, ladies and gentlemen. I get it, Senpai is a loner, he is passive, and he is dense. But at this point, that's not being passive anymore, that's being a wooden plank. So, this is my take: Daiki's sense of justice and passion for literature gave him a natural curiosity for crimes because of its depiction in novels. When facing murder, he will mostly act according to the loner archetype. However, if too many deaths or disappearances near him stay unresolved by the police and his sanity is high enough, he will find the courage to take a more active role and investigate on the crimes himself. Obviously, Daiki won't be able to arrest anyone by himself, but he has the advantage of being directly at the crime place and closer to the people at school than the police. Thus, he could report them additional details that they might have missed, like a student acting stranger than usual, missing tools or places cleaner than usual. This could put you in trouble unless you cover your tracks very well, or just prevent him from investigating. And of course, I would also implement Senpai's sanity meter that has been promised for I don't know how much time (but honestly, are you still hoping for it to be implemented after all that happened?), although slightly reworked. Daiki's sanity would decrease with any person dying. The closer the person is to him, both physically and figuratively, the lower it would drop. The deaths that would affect him the most would thus be those of his sister, his childhood friend, or anyone murdered right in front of him. On the opposite, a random student dying at the other side of the school would barely have any effect. A low sanity would have various effects on Daiki depending on its value and the amount of time he has spent with the other students. Those effects could be taking private lessons due to his grades dropping, joining a certain club to feel safer, or shutting himself in at home in one of the worst scenarios. In any case, this would affect his routine. Just like in the official concept, he would be able to recover sanity with a long enough crimeless period or giving him gifts. Only now would the rivals also be able to use the later method to gain affection, making them act a bit more like romantic rivals. I hope you don't mind actually caring about your senpai's mental health.

Relationships with other characters

The rivals
Obviously, a reworked senpai means reworked dynamics with your main targets. Since detailing everything would be way too long for a single post, I'll just link here my take on the romantic rivals that I decided to keep in my hypothetical game, and here, what I'd do with the discarded ones. Since they are Daiki's closest people, and the most likely to affect his mood in the game, I'll still put here what I have in mind for my version of Osana and Hanako.
His sister
Just like his canon counterpart, Daiki loves his sister very much. A feeling that is reciprocated a bit too much. Unlike her brother who has a balanced lifestyle, the middle-schooler is a very clingy girl who can't imagine being away from him. She has the bad habit of leaving her school during lunchtime just to visit him, which greatly embarrasses Daiki. Even if he appreciates the time they spend together in the end, he knows that this behaviour is unhealthy, and hope that, one day, his sister will find the confidence to become more independent. In my rewrite, the little sister isn't a romantic rival, but someone that I'd call a "big obstacle", as her role is mainly to appear at random (or maybe not, I haven't decided yet) days during lunchtime and potentially mess up your planification for the day. You wouldn't want to kill someone in front of your crush's beloved sister, right?
His childhood friend
Daiki and his sister have known their neighbours' daughter for more than a decade. All three of them used to play together during their childhood. The neighbours' daughter is a brash and impulsive girl, whose personality clashes with Daiki's quieter nature. Despite frequently being at odds and arguing about trivial things, both of them deeply care about each other and would be the first person to help the other if they were having problems. Daiki and his friend didn't have many occasions to see each other since elementary school, until the girl coincidentally transferred to the same high school as him. Even if he is now more serious and reserved than before, deep inside, he is still the same kind boy that she knew. Now that they can once again spend much time together, the girl has come to realize she was in love with her dear friend, but her internal turmoil and her personality make it difficult for her to act sincere and confess her feelings. She stays otherwise pretty similar to Osana, except for the greater consequences when dealing with her by using lethal eliminations, and maybe the fact that she won't be the first rival to appear.
Budo (or whatever name I'll end up giving him)
Yes, you read it right. That guy that overshadows Senpai among the fans is one of his friends in my rewrite. Because even the most introverted individuals are able to develop relationships with people that aren't potential romantic interests. The leader of the martial arts club is an outgoing action-oriented boy who is pretty popular at school. Unlike Daiki, Budo always knew in his heart that his place would be in a dojo, and thus doesn't have much interest in academics. But despite having such different backgrounds and personalities, both boys share the same sense of justice and admiration toward heroes. When he's not attending classes, studying or reading, Daiki hangs out with Budo, and is sometimes invited to watch the martial arts club members practicing. If too many dangerous events happen around Daiki, Budo, as an aspiring hero and good friend, will propose to escort him at certain periods, becoming basically a part-time bodyguard.
Ayano
Nothing much to say here. Daiki unknowingly reminded Ayano, who has locked her heart for years, how great it is to have feelings when they first met, and now she wants to make sure nothing stands between them. How she will reach her ends is your decision. If she decides to spend time with him and do his tasks, he will think of her as a peculiar, but well-intentioned girl. Just like in canon, Daiki is oblivious to Ayano's feelings, but it's more due to the fact that they barely know each other.

Trivia

• Regarding his career choice, Daiki is hesitating between becoming an author, a lawyer or a criminologist.
• Like Taro, he also likes nature and gardening, but to a lesser extend.
• Sometimes, instead of a book of classic literature, you can see him reading the latest crime novel at the fountain. With a pen and a writing pad, because he's just that invested.
• Since he is friend with Budo, he sometimes feels too plain and boring compared to him regarding romance. If you use matchmaking to eliminate a rival, his self-consciousness will grow a bit stronger.
• He has never bought a panty shot from Info-chan, but honestly, do you really find this surprising, or even relevant? He has never even contacted Info-chan.
• I had quite the choice among popular Japanese boy names. Daiki could've been named "Yamato", "Daisuke", "Hiroto", "Yuto", "Yuu", or even "Satoshi" instead.
• In the official game, if Ayano commits a crime in his sight while wearing a mask, Taro will rip the mask off her face with no regard for his safety or his character consistency. I would like to get rid of this behaviour for Daiki, except for one specific circumstance.

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And that was my full-fledged take on Taro. When you have an ordinary person as a character in the middle of very colourful ones, the key to make the public care about him is to give them tangible preoccupations that, even if they aren't always relatable, make this character at least feel like a real person with human struggles and dreams, and not just a barebone plot device. And that might seems obvious, but if you have to write a love interest, make sure you actually show your public what your main character likes about him. That's even more important in the case where many people are attracted to this character. I tried to take those two things into account when rewriting Taro, and I know it's far from perfect, so don't hesitate to tell me what I should improve. In any case, if you made it to the end, thank you for taking the time to read this long post. I hope I'll find the motivation to do the same with other characters.

As the title says. I'm currently cycling my first planted tank (fishless) and I realized that my wap water is around 8-8.2 ph, which is what I see in my tank as well (so my driftwood and rocks are not affecting it). I have a whole house water filter and softener installed.
I already have a bunch of plants (ludwigia super red, jungle Vals, anubias, s. repens) that have been acclimating for 10 days now. I've had some melted leaves and stem bottoms but nothing that seems catastrophic.
My plan for this tank was amano and red cherry shrimps, neon tetras, guppies, panda corys, and a clown pleco.
I know the ideal ph for the livestock is definitely lower than what I have (should even be slightly more on the acidic side, from what I've read).
I'm trying to figure out what my next moves are. Carrying or storing jugs of distilled water is not an option. I'd rather not spend hundreds of dollars on a RO system. I read that some products that change the ph of water are not safe for plants and/or could cause ph swings that are just as bad (if not worse) for my livestock. I wasn't planning on injecting Co2.
What are my options here?
Thanks in advance!

This is party 2 of a discussion regarding how poly could have been handled a little better in BG3. I recommend you read through the first part here: https://new.reddit.com/BaldursGate3/comments/1crb2s7/how_the_polyamory_could_have_been_handled/ so you can get context and I sound like less of a rambling weirdo.
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Astarion:
Out of all the discussions, people were the most confused by this choice. Not only does making him poly at the last minute feel contrary to a lot of statements he himself makes throughout his romance arc, but it also runs counter to what other characters say about him and his backstory as a whole. He is one of the most insecure characters in the game, he was trained for two hundred years to lie in order to avoid punishment, and he has far more trauma and healing to do than the other characters. Astarion is the most likely to lie about the Halsin relationship in order to avoid appearing weak or demanding. Out of the poly players who expressed disappointment, Astarion was the one that bothered them the most, since many felt he wasn’t fully consenting.
Most of my reasons for why he’s not a good poly option (from a development standpoint) have already been stated in earlier sections, so most of this will be spent diving into the “Is he fine with poly or not?” debate, which had me intrigued. (This will be the longest section and won’t be as connected to the overall topic, so if you want to skip to the Halsin part, feel free.)
I’ll start with the main arguments I see defending him being poly.
Argument 1: He says he’s fine with Halsin and the twins, so we should take him at his word.
While this can definitely be argued, and it’s not good to treat an adult man like a baby, his constant lying as a defense mechanism and current issues with sex/relationships do need to be taken into account (if not by the players then at least by the developers). There were plenty of people (some of them victims of SA) who talked about their own experience of tolerating poly because they were scared of their partner leaving or finding them too demanding/narrow minded. This led to their self-esteem and views on relationships growing worse rather than better. For someone like Astarion, who outright admits he has never had a healthy relationship and doesn’t want to lose this one, it’s understandable that people view his response as a coping mechanism rather than his own genuine feelings. There were also two different mental health professionals who reminded players that although a few victims of abuse do enter poly relationships, statistically most do not and it is far more common for them to agree to poly relationships out of pressure (which often make the person’s mental issues even worse in the long run).
Argument 2: He claims to be fine with open relationships during Act 1.
This is countered by the fact that everything he says about himself in Act 1 is a lie (unless he’s specifically talking about Cazador). He lies about wanting to sleep with you, he lies about his identity until he bites you, he claims to only care about sex (then later admits it makes him feel disgust and loathing), and he brags about his former conquests (which you later find out he regrets and feels guilt over). His statements that he’s fine with open relationships are made when choosing between him and another Origin character in Act 1 or 2, but this is also said at a time when his act is still up and he isn’t in love with the player. If you choose between him and another Origin character AFTER he confesses and let’s his guard down, he insists that he is NOT fine with sharing. “You’ve decided to replace me?” If the player says they care about both him and the other person, he’ll say, “Don’t give me that. I can see what this is.” Then he promptly breaks up with them. This second reaction is not only said using his genuine voice (whereas before he was still using his fake one), but a few poly people mentioned that this isn’t a normal reaction from someone who is fine with poly.
This isn’t to shame people who want to think Astarion is fine with it, or to judge players who went through with the poly relationship. Instead, this is once again asking the developers why they chose this option, rather than someone who wouldn’t spark so much debate or remind abuse victims of their past without giving them a dialogue option to address it. (This is a similar issue with Astarion’s brothel scene. They should have either removed it by having him say he’s not comfortable again, or at the very least, let players talk to him about it after.)
I think it’s pretty clear that after reading the discussions and evidence both sides provided, I myself lean heavily to one side. However, the main defense I personally have for the opposite side is that the writers were sometimes vague about Astarion’s true preferences and wishes. I especially felt this during the origin playthrough, where his narrator would constantly flip between him liking hedonism and despising it. It gave the impression that two opposing authors were wrestling while writing him, unable to decide where he truly stood on things. It felt similar to how the devs tried to write a respectful story of overcoming abuse and the fear of being sexualized, only to turn around and repeatedly sexualize the character in both the game and promotional material. I really wish the writers and developers had picked a lane and stuck with it.
Now I’ll get into the evidence for the counter theory: That he’s not actually open to sharing, but says he’s fine with it to avoid appearing weak or losing his partner. I personally prefer this theory because it makes the writing seem more intentional, adds more nuance to an already complex character, and feels more realistic. However, even if this is what the writer or actor were trying to convey, it’s still a far worse alternative to simply keeping him out of the poly options in the first place.

1. His hedonistic playboy persona is stated to be a façade. Anything he says in act one about being poly and wanting open relationships is stated when he is both wearing his mask and before he trusts the player. Every statement about relationships here has to be taken with a grain of salt because his mask is centered around attracting victims for Cazador. Since he hated bringing “sweet innocents” to his master, it makes sense that he would initially try to attract the opposite (“criminals and brothel goers”) by sleeping around and making a show of wanting casual relationships.
   
2. Once he gets comfortable in the relationship, he makes it clear he is looking for someone who will make him feel safe and value him for his personality over his body (“I don’t want you to think of me in terms of sex. I don’t think I want anyone to.” “How do you want me to see you?” “As a person. Is that so much to ask?”). If the player chooses to sexualize him, he will go through with it, then regret it later and break up. He makes it very clear in Act two that he’s not actually looking for casual hookups because they make him feel “ashamed and alone”. So it is odd that he’s fine with Halsin (who seems to care more about the sex and the body than the emotional bonding) and the brothel (which is solely about sex). One can argue that he’s fine with the poly relationship because he’s not taking part, but Halsin DOES wish for him to take part ‘eventually’.
   
3. Jumping off of that, Astarion’s dialogue makes it clear he wants a partner who cares about more than just sex, but if you tell him you want to date Halsin solely for the sex (and because Astarion’s not doing it with you), he will say that’s fine and he doesn’t mind the player seeking sex from others. This seems to counter his previous statements and arc. It’s especially strange that even if you reinforce his greatest insecurity (that his refusal to have sex has made his partner immediately seek out other people), he will still claim to be fine with it.
   
4. In terms of dialogue, the actor for Astarion seems to be very intentional when using the fake theatrical masking voice vs. the more genuine softspoken voice he uses when he’s comfortable and being honest. The fake voice is blatantly obvious throughout the Act 1 romance, in Act 2 if you force him to obey the blood merchant (his voice goes from genuinely scared to flirtatious and over the top within seconds), and in Cazador’s mansion where he’ll speak genuinely to you, then be over the top when addressing Cazador’s servants. He’ll often use jokes and loud laughter to conceal his true feelings and insecurities. Meanwhile his laughter in the confession scene, graveyard scene, and Spawn epilogue is quiet and subdued because he’s being genuine. It feels like a strange coincidence that when addressing both the Halsin situation and the brothel situation, his voice becomes very loud and high pitched again, he immediately starts making jokes, and his laughter is over the top. This hints at him not wanting to go along with either situation, but he’s putting himself through it because this is what his partner wants and since he’s tolerated sexual stuff he hated before, he can do it again. Plus, after killing Cazador, he wants to ensure no one views him as weak. He has to prove to himself and his lover (at least in his mind) that refusing to take the Ascendant powers was good and he’s strong enough to not need it. I can understand players not picking up on the voice changes (because not everyone is going to replay the game or even care) but those who did notice it believe it’s done intentionally (either by the actor or the writer or both). If it’s not intentional, then it’s a strange decision to make from a developer’s standpoint.
   
5. Throughout the threads I read, most poly people made it clear that poly relationships require complete trust, clear communication, and general confidence. Astarion himself admits to lacking all of those traits to some degree. If you don’t romance him, he will literally not trust any of the characters right up to the epilogue (he’ll hold a knife behind his back while talking to the Dark Urge). Even though he does seem to genuinely trust his lover by Act 2, he will still lie to them several times. He lies about being fine with the drow twins (he states he’ll leave if he hates if but never does despite disassociating), feigns confidence when the player says they’ll become a mind flayer (he says he only cares about them becoming ugly but expresses his true fears only after the fight, that he’s worried they are no longer the person he fell in love with by losing their soul), he manipulates his lover when confronting Cazador despite being conflicted about it himself and wanting reassurance, and (on a more minor note) he continuously claims he’s doesn’t care about Yenna or the Gur children despite getting upset when they’re in danger. This is a character who, even after he kills his tormentor, struggles to be honest with his partner. That isn’t a good combination when addressing poly. (Again, it could be worked through in real life, but is better avoided in video games where there isn’t time to address it).
   
6. There are also plenty of situations where he agrees to do things he outright hates. In Act 1, we know he is (at least somewhat) disgusted by having sex with the player or Laezel, but he’ll do it. In Act 2, he tries to be genuine about not wanting to touch the player until he no longer feels disgust, but if the player pressures him, he will cave and obey. He does break up with the player afterwards, but it is only after he has gone through with the act. In Act 3, he will state three times that he doesn’t want to take the tadpole, but if the player pressures him by bringing up his darkest fear, he will give in. Worse, he will give in and STILL stay with the player romantically despite them clearly manipulating him to do something they know he fears. He does thankfully break up if you fail the checks, but if you succeed, he goes through with it. If he’s willing to cave to something as huge as altering his entire body, it makes sense that he would cave to something he views as more minor (like tolerating unwanted sexual acts in a brothel or sharing his partner).
   
7. I didn’t know this until I saw others mention it but there are points where he will flirt with NPCs if he is single (the girl in the sewers), but he uses neutral dialogue if he is dating the player. This reinforces the theory that he doesn’t actually plan to sleep around or be with others as he claims (though there are some dialogues that I think slipped through the cracks where he still flirts with others despite being in a committed relationship).
   
8. If Halsin propositions you after Cazador has been killed, Astarion no longer asks if you’re doing this because he hasn’t been fulfilling your sexual needs. However, he does give another response that feels out of place: “I’ve realized it doesn’t matter if anything (in our relationship) changes.” Parallel this with what he said at the graveyard, that “no matter what happens, I don’t want to lose this (relationship).” It’s very odd to have him say he doesn’t want to lose the relationship, but then the next day he is totally okay with losing it. Granted, it is nice to know that even if the characters break up, he’ll be fine, but it does feel contradictory for his character, especially with how devastated he acts if they DO end the relationship. If the Halsin statement is just an act and he’s overcompensating, however, then it feels more intentional on the writer’s part.
   
9. I’ve seen lots of people say that Ascended Astarion also shouldn’t be fine with poly, and I agree, though it’s for different reasons than Spawn Astarion. Unlike SA, I think Ascended would absolutely do the brothel scene because 1. He’s actively suppressing his trauma and playing a new character and 2. He feels in control in the brothel and is the focus. However, with Halsin, he doesn’t have any control. For someone obsessed with possessing his lover and ensuring they can never leave him, letting them sleep with Halsin doesn’t fit his writing. He isn’t participating. He doesn’t know what they’re doing behind his back. For all he knows, Halsin and the player might be discussing how to kill Astarion or escape him. In some deleted party banter, Halsin literally tells Ascended Astarion he doesn’t approve of the abusive spawn/master relationship they’ve formed. With that knowledge, not only should Halsin not be willing to join a poly relationship that he thinks is unhealthy, but he has a motivation to help the player get away from AA (and AA would know this). I could see Spawn Astarion hesitantly agreeing to the Halsin thing despite not wanting to share, but AA just wouldn’t. It feels contrary to both his and Halsin’s writing.
   
10. This is the second most convincing piece of evidence for me: The Drow twins. If you ask Astarion to join a ‘group activity’, he’ll use his fake voice and flighty laugh and agree to go through it, saying he’ll run away if he doesn’t like it and comparing the act to burning in the sun (a little concerning that he’s already comparing the two). Then during the act, he will immediately ask the player what they want “us” to do. Not only is he lumping himself in with the prostitutes, but he is also doing something that an Origin playthrough reveals is a trigger for him (he tells the drow twins that being ‘told what to do’ reminds him of his time as a slave). If the player tries to check up on him, he ignores them and says he wishes he was drunk. Then he disassociates and never brings it up again. This has been viewed two ways: either he doesn’t want to have casual sex anymore and wants to be in a one-on-one relationship, or he does want to do stuff like this but just needs to heal more before he can. I lean toward the first assumption because he is acting flighty and fake BEFORE the sexual act even begins. If he really wanted to do it but changed his mind after, it makes more sense for him to sound genuine at first, then fake halfway through.
    

But the main thing that sticks out to me is his reaction to you asking for only ONE drow twin. If you do, he will accuse you of having a thing for prostitutes and call it embarrassing, then glare at you for the rest of the conversation. This is especially sad because not only have the player’s actions made him feel like a prostitute again, but now he seems to be wondering if you started dating him BECAUSE he was a prostitute, not for who he really is.
Compare this to the Halsin situation and the drow ‘group activity’. For Halsin, he says he was expecting this for months. He’s had several months to plan his reaction and decide what he’s willing to tolerate. Hence, he has a very rehearsed reaction. With the twins, he had less time to anticipate this but probably also worried about it (especially if the player asked about them earlier and he said no. Now he expects the player to try again and has planned accordingly). Again, this response feels rehearsed and fake. The only response where he uses his real voice is when you ask for one of the twins alone. This is something he likely wouldn’t plan for, so we get to see his gut reaction for the first time: he doesn’t want you to do it.
Now some people argue that he’s fine with Halsin and not the other Origin characters because Halsin is just a fling and won’t try to take his spot. If that’s the case, he should be fine with the twins too. If anything, they are even less of a threat. Yet he doesn’t want you to do it and responds accordingly. If he truly was poly, he would respond like Karlach did and tell you to have fun, or like Shadowheart telling you to give him a heads up first. But we don’t see that.
One other thing about the twins that I felt I could point out: if you or the twins ask to do a group activity before Cazador is killed, Astarion says he’s not comfortable with this yet. The “yet” part has been pointed out to show that he’s fine with it after Cazador has been killed (even though he still disassociates later). However, another explanation of the “yet” part is that he’s trying to soften the blow because he’s scared of using a blunt NO. We see this with Araj, the blood merchant. Even though he is absolutely disgusted with her treatment of him and how she’s “defiling” him with her fantasies, his rejections of her are very soft and nervous. Even when reinforced by his friend/lover, he says “It’s still a no, I’m afraid” with a smile. Turning down sexual encounters is tough for him, even when he has people backing him up, so I can see him using words like “yet” or “I’m afraid” to soften the blow. I know several people in real life who do this, despite later admitting there was no “yet”.
There’s another part of this dialogue with the early twins that I want to point out (really overanalyzing here but if we want to believe the writers do things intentionally/with a lot of forethought, I think it’s okay to read into the words they use). When Astarion says he’s not comfortable with the twins, the player’s response is “I wouldn’t ask such a thing of you”. This will raise his approval and make him respond positively. The promise you give him is not “I’ll ask them later, after we’ve killed Cazador” or “I would have liked to but okay” (that one doesn’t trigger his positive response). He only approves of you saying you won’t ask him to do things like this (stated in a tense that implies you will NEVER ask him to do such a thing, regardless of Cazador’s stabbed or unstabbed state). This could have been the writer hinting that if you bring him back after, you’re going back on your promise and thus have to see the disassociating scene. That…or the writer wasn’t thinking too hard and we are simply thinking too much.

1. With all that out of the way, we’ll get to the final point that solidifies this theory for me personally. It’s the statements of Shadowheart and Minthara if you ask to do a three-way relationship with one of them and Astarion. Shadowheart’s response is: “I think you’re overestimating his willingness to share. He may seem like a carefree hedonist, but there’s something fragile beneath the façade.” Minthara says something nearly identical, that sharing would wound his pride and he is far too fragile to handle it. You could even add Astarion’s line from the other end, where if you ask Astarion to share with you and Karlach, he will say they shouldn’t because Karlach loves the player and relationships are fragile (implying that he either thinks open relationships don’t work if there’s love involved, or perhaps he himself can only do open relationships if he doesn’t love the other person).

The main argument I’ve seen disproving these statements by Shadowheart and Minthara is that they’re just plain wrong about him. If so, it’s a strange writing choice to not only have both of them be wrong about the exact same thing, but they’re both high wisdom characters who are proven to understand Astarion in a lot of ways other characters don’t. (All three of them have been enslaved and manipulated, Minthara comprehends the depths of his relationship with Cazador within minutes of being in the camp, and Shadowheart is one of the closest to Astarion in terms of friendship and liking him.)
If Astarion actually is fine with poly, then it means both Shadowheart and Minthara are wrong. That means the writers either made a mistake or made a very weird writing choice.
However, if Astarion is actually pretending to be fine with sharing as they say, not only is the writing consistent but these dialogues become very clever foreshadowing. I want to give the writers the benefit of the doubt and believe they did a good job with Astarion, so I prefer to lean into the theory that he’s pretending because it makes more sense for him overall.
That was quite a long tangent and somewhat unnecessary, but he’s a character whose mannerisms and statements are meant to be heavily analyzed, so it’s fun to go more in depth. Let’s move on.

1. ISSUES WITH HOW HALSIN WAS PRESENTED

We’re finally at the last point, and in a way the direct cause of this entire thread: Halsin. Now, I have no issue with Halsin being poly (again, he’s listed as one of my four ideal options for it) but I do have several issues with how he was written and presented. The Shadowheart part I will skip over because I already got into it, but there are many other problems to address and most of them could have been fixed very easily.

1. He is not presented as poly until Act 3. I was reading through a thread full of people who loved him and several of them were early access players who had requested he become a romance option. However, the reason they requested him was very important. In EA, all three of the male options seemed immature (Wyll), condescending (Gale), or straight up evil (Astarion). Meanwhile Halsin was, in their words, a mature man who seems like the type to settle down with them in a cottage and help raise their kids. This is the impression he gives and what drew many people to him. As a result, many of these players were extremely disappointed to reach Act 3 once the game was out and discover that not only was he the complete opposite of their initial impression, but he won’t even stay with the player after the game ends (in most cases). Honestly, if I was a developer and saw that they liked him for those earlier reasons, I wouldn’t make him strictly poly because that wasn’t what the players wanted. They wanted him because he was muscular and a good, stable man. It was a very odd choice to turn around and give the players the opposite of what they asked for. But if the devs were truly determined to go the poly route, they should have at least gone back to Act 1 and 2 and slipped in some hints that he was poly. I saw some newer players who recently played the game for the first time and wanted to romance him for the aforementioned reasons (stable, mature, kind, huge). They ignored all other romances until Act 3, then got hit with the “I’m only poly” discussion. Had they known he wasn’t monogamous, they wouldn’t have blown off all the other options.
   
2. But let’s ignore that. We’re focusing on the world where he IS completely poly (though some were arguing that it should at least be an option to ask if he’ll try being monogamous with the player.) The way he is presented still has a lot of issues according to poly players. For one, the way he tries to butt in on the relationship is done in a really sketchy manner (especially considering what some of the Origin characters have gone through/are currently going through). It would have been far better to do what they did with Minsc and give the PLAYER the option to hit on Halsin, rather than the other way around. Have them offer poly to him, and then he can discuss it from there. Having the proposition come from Halsin himself puts him in a negative light, and it’s pretty clear the writers didn’t actually want to portray him as a bad person so they messed up here.
   
3. The flagging for Halsin’s dialogues is awful and despite seeing people report it for eight months, that hasn’t changed. Even if you pick the most neutral option, he will still hit on you by saying “I think you feel the same way”. Not a good idea. “I HOPE you feel the same way” would have been infinitely better. Women often have to deal with people assuming their friendly, professional conversation is something more when it isn’t. It’s not a great idea to bring that into fantasy games too. It hit too close to home for some.
   
4. Even if you use the most neutral option at the Act 1 party (“Go have fun and mingle”), your main dialogue option the next day is “Sorry for coming on so strong last night”. It’s a strange thing to say. Again, I’m not sure how developers missed this and why it was never patched out. I saw people reporting it since the release.
   
5. He will also ask for a relationship at neutral approval. In most of my playthroughs, I stopped talking to him beyond the Thaniel quest and avoided asking about his personal life. He still led his proposition with “I think you feel the same way”. How does he know when we only spoke to him three times? They should have at least required you to go through all his extra dialogues before triggering this.
   
6. When Halsin says he loves you, you have two options: reject him straight away, or ask about his opinions a little more. Oddly enough, if you ask a bit more and THEN reject him, he’ll have a proper response. “That’s fine. I understand. I won’t ask again.” However, if you reject him as soon as he starts talking to you, his response is very off putting. He’ll protest and say, “but you asked me about my former lovers” or, if you didn’t even do that, he’ll claim “you looked after me with the care of a lover, not a host.” These pushy assumptions turned a lot of people off. This is entirely on the writer, in my opinion. He should have realized how weird these sounded.
   
7. Halsin is the only person you can’t dismiss from your camp at any point through dialogue. All of the origins have to be pursued and recruited intentionally. Halsin is the only exception. This makes some sense because you need him to cure the Shadowlands, but for Act 3, he literally has nothing to do. They should have given players an option after the Ketheric fight to dismiss him and tell him to take care of the Shadowlands. It makes a lot more sense narratively and would help avoid a lot of the more awkward parts later.
   
8. Halsin’s initial dialogue about monogamy vs. polyamory is mostly fine, with him comparing it to gardens and wolves vs. bears. But (and don’t quote me on this because I can’t recall the specifics), if you ask your partner to do poly and they say no, Halsin will be a little more judgmental about your partner, saying he was hoping they would be more “open minded”. Statistically, the majority of BG3’s players are going to be monogamous, so it’s strange to see nearly every character (monogamous or poly) criticize monogamy in some way. It is called selfish, narrow minded, and old fashioned by at least 3 characters to my knowledge (Halsin, Act 1 Astarion, and even Gale (who is monogamous himself)). If the developers truly wanted to be inclusive, criticizing one’s lifestyle and having no characters openly defend it in the game (even those who practice it) is a disappointing choice. In this case, it might be an unintentional mistake (maybe they feared that by defending monogamy, they were somehow demonizing polygamy or polyamory), but it would have been better to just leave the criticisms out of it entirely if that was the case.
   

And that’s it. I think that’s all the points from myself and others that I wanted to compile. I don’t think any of this will be changed in BG3 but I hope all of these points and opinions will at least improve any future games. It’s great that BG3 was able to make nuanced characters with their own opinions and preferences—I much prefer it to “everyone is poly and no one gets mad if you cheat” games where characters feel more like statues than living beings—but I do wish they thought the poly options through more carefully (trying to make poly people comfortable while leaving room for monogamous players to enjoy the romances too).
The only feasible fix the developers could make at this point to avoid all the issues mentioned is keeping Halsin poly but removing his connections to other Origin romances (or at least Karlach and Astarion). At this point, that’s the only thing that could realistically be done. I also wish they made characters break up with you if you cheat on them in the brothel, since that’s what many people including myself would do.
Again, these opinions are my own (and those that aren’t come from a variety of comments across Youtube, Reddit, and Larian’s forums). I enjoyed getting to see so many different viewpoints and appreciated how civil (most of) the people on both sides were. It’s an interesting topic and here’s hoping game studios handle it better in the future.
If anyone reads this far and wants links to the threads, forums, and youtube comment sections, let me know.

Hello! Please, whoever has the patience to read would help me enormously, as I have been suffering for 7 months. Sorry for bad english!!! I'm only 18 years old, I don't want my life to end or be like this. I had my first panic attacks around October 2023. I didn't know how they felt, I had them from calcium drops but they manifested differently. I went to the psychiatrist where I received Serlift 0.5 mg per day, but after 5 weeks I abandoned them because I could hardly tolerate them, I had nausea, constantly dilated pupils, imbalance, etc. On top of that, I also had swallowing difficulties which were quite rare but became more and more frequent. In December, I had already reached the point where I could no longer swallow solid food, and in January (2024) I started not being able to feed myself even with mashed things, purees, etc. I was eating somewhere around 2-3 teaspoons of soup per hour, somewhere around 2 bowls of clear soup. I went to a gastroenterologist where they did a digestive endoscopy, without a biopsy, and there was a wound caused by acid on the esophagus at the bottom, so their diagnosis was reflux + a hiatal hernia. I received treatment with Nexium (one pill in the morning) but I did not feel any improvement. At the same time, I went to the ENT because I felt like I couldn't breathe and they said that I have hypertrophic chronic rhinitis, which doesn't go away, so if it continues like this I will have to have laser surgery, it's quite an easy operation and minimally invasive, but they are worried back the nasal turbinates. The difficulty in swallowing decreased for a while, but it appeared again, stronger that I could not even swallow saliva and water without drowning. I then went to the doctor in Cluj where they redid my endoscopy and manometry. The manometry came out normal, but at the endoscopy, this time with a biopsy, I had reflux esophagitis. I received nexium treatment in the morning and in the evening and in addition to that I also did acupuncture and everything is almost back to normal, I still have a difficulty with bakery products and with seeds, meat. Rather, the problem remained that I feel how it slowly flows down my throat, but it's ok. During the investigations I went to the lungs and the heart. They discovered adult asthma in my lungs (I didn't have asthma as a child but I had many pneumonias) and since then I received treatment with foster and an antihistamine in the evening (Aerius). I felt that I was breathing hard (that I was inhaling hard), but I quickly understood that this is also anxiety, because many times my oxygenation was good. I haven't given up smoking since I have asthma, I've reduced it but now I want to quit because I feel that it's hard to EXPIRE the air outside, or I feel that when I want to inhale, I exhale. Or when I exhale deeply forcefully (because I have to force myself) I feel a pressing pain like a punch between the chest and the neck but rather towards the neck. The therapist said that these are NOT signs of anxiety, but the doctor I go to knows my problems with anxiety and often leaves it to her. I went to the heart because I had low blood pressure, but I also had anemia and that was also a cause (I have a very white face and palms). He said it could be a sinus tachycardia. But more recently, I feel as if my left breast is trembling or aching. The problem with breathing worries me the most, I'm afraid that there might be some hidden pneumonia. I had lung x-rays almost 2 months ago, but then I did NOT have those symptoms. I'm not saying that it's not possible for something to have appeared in such a short time? I keep thinking why do I have these moods? The therapist says that she does NOT think it's anxiety because even in the neurofeedbeek device (the one that measures the stress delta wave) I have low waves after the therapy. I don't want to feel like this anymore, I want to live my life because I don't have any worries or stress. If this time too everything looks good on x-rays and ultrasounds, what tests should I do? What lack of minerals/vitamins or what deficiency can cause such ugly conditions? Note: I think I know how to explain batter. I feel like i keep the CO2 in my lung instead of letting it go out.

"I will gladly take care of your Wyrm problem," the Knight in shining armor said to the princess.
The princess narrowed her eyes at him. "It sounds like you're saying Wyrm, not worm."
The Knight Flipped up his helmet visor, "What? Wyrms is Wyrms right? And the ones you need killed are up in the mountains. Earth Wyrms, yea?"
"Worms," The princess over exaggerated the 'o' as she said 'worm', "Yes. Gargantuan Earth Worms, they threaten to destroy the entire mountain range. I need them slain."
"Earth Wyrms! Easily done princess, they can't even fly." The Knight slapped his visor shut, certain he'd be able to handle these Earth Wyrms with ease.
Air Wyrms and Fire Wyrms could both fly and were therefor quite a pain to kill, having to track them relentlessly until they tired was... well tiresome.
Water Wyrms had to be killed underwater most of the time, because mankind had yet to make a fishing boat buoyant enough to fish one from the sea.
With a grin from ear to ear, a simple go there and murder a monster mission in mind, the Knight bowed deeply before excusing himself from the princess' presence.
She turned to her Advisor, "He does know they're Worms and not Wyrms right?"
The old wizard shrugged. "How difficult could it be to kill giant worms?"
The Knight and his squire and their company of friends, set out to the mountains to the north where their quarry was said to be. Among their host was a young wizard who had only barely passed his apprenticeship exams, there was a lady dwarf, who was of course a blacksmith. Her beard was always set with flowers from their next member, her husband the elvish archer. The elf say he's no true archer, merely a hobby, of a thousand years. Their final member was an ex-communicated clergy member from the empire on the other side of the mountains.
A few short days of easy travel over rolling hills and they'd made their way to the foot of the mountains. The Knight and his party experienced the first earth quake then, it was gentle enough that the Knight hadn't even noticed it. The dwarf sure did though.
"Something's not right," She said when the tiny quake ended. "Earth Wyrms must be fighting something else right now for us to be feeling this rumble."
"Then they'll be softened up for us when we get there, or maybe already dead. All that mattered to the princess was that they die, we need only verify those deaths." The Young Wizard said, hopeful he wouldn't have to fight at all.
The clergyman said a prayer to his strange god, and bid them all, "Prepare for the worst tomorrow, this way when it likely goes better than that, you can be overjoyed at our fortune."
The squire took the first watch, and the Knight the second. Nothing happened but the soft snores of their compatriots. For the third watch they had the elf. He required far less sleep than humans or dwarves, except for once a lunar month when he had to sleep for a whole day.
During his watch the ground rumbled again. More than rumbled, it shook and cracked. A span the size of large horse opened up and split their camp in half. The elf didn't exactly have to sound the alarm, everyone woke up to the thunderous crack of the landscape opening.
In the pre-dawn light leaking over the horizon they could see the fractures leading up into the mountains. Their camp just happened to be on the end of one such crack. The whole mountain they were headed to seemed to have cracked.
"These must indeed be large Wyrms." the Knight said. "I shall need all my weapons sharpened to their finest edge to piece their hides."
The Dwarf set to work spinning her whetstone and putting the sharpest edge on the Knight's swords and axes and even the arrow heads of her husband's arrows were sharpened. The squire was loaded down with heavy, very sharp weapons, and followed his master up into the recently cracked mountain. As they traveled the ground steadily rumbled.
They found an opening which they hoped would lead them into the caves inside the mountain where they might find at face these dread Earth Wyrms.
As they entered the caverns they were surprised to find a thick slime coating the walls.
"How curious." The young Wizard said, collecting a sample into a glass vial and staring at intently.
The clergyman said another prayer, and placed a blessing of damage resistance on all his friends. They would all be nigh-on unpuncturable, unslashable, and unbludgeonable for a few hours. You could do those things, and it might throw them around, but they wouldn't be injured any more than their pride. This foreign god's power was how the Knight had become so good at killing Wyrms. The clergyman had other blessings, which were not needed at the moment, fire resistance, and water breathing being two big ones. Air walking was a wizard trick, and so they recruited the young wizard.
The wizard projected a light up into the middle of the height of the cave they now found themselves in, and it showed that the cave was nearly as tall as the castle walls, in one direction it went off into the darkness beyond what his meek light could show, but the other direction was blocked by a gigantic wall of pink slimy flesh.
"Oh..." The wizard said, understanding a moment too late. "Earth Worms."
The Knight had approached the pink wall and tried to hack into it, but the slime coating the ouside of the great flesh mass was to sticky and too thick. It quickly stole his weapon from him, and then the next and the next and the next.
The gargantuan lack-minded creature, reacted to something behind it, and backed up in the tunnel. The Knight was quickly caught in the ooze, the squire too. The Elf unleashed a volley of arrows, but they met the same fate as their archer, only a few seconds sooner. The thick layer of mucus on the outside of the worms was the greatest armor they had ever faced. Almost as thick as a the knight was wide, it more than caught and stopped any attacks from such small creatures as the knight as his allies.
Trying desperately to help his wife escape, the elf and the dwarf ended up caught in the thick slime together.
The wizard knew he was boned, so stood and faced the slime with dignity.
And the Clergy man. Well, he said one final prayer for the souls of himself and his party members before being backed over by a brainless worm. His quiet hope was that his god would protect them all until the worm deposited them elsewhere as it continued to devour the mountain range.

I've gotten pretty gnarly sunburns many times and this is the first I'm experiencing this. I got burned on Saturday and I was putting away laundry today when all of a sudden I started itching, and then it started burning. Of course my dumbass attempted to scratch only to be welcomed by immense burning. My next idea was cerave itch relief. All while jumping around from the now needles in my back, I was more liberal with it than Seattle. Almost immediately it went away. Unfortunately this was only the case as I was applying it. The moment I stopped it came right back. As I had nothing else at my disposal I gave up, lied on the floor with my back facing a fan, clenched my teeth and suffered, legs jumping and torso squirming all the same. Eventually it started to calm down so I made a beeline to the bathroom, grabbed a hand towel, soaked it in cold water, laid it on my back and went back to the same spot I was laying at. This did help for a while but when the towel began to dry it crept on back. I had enough. I am writing this as I stand in the shower with ice water cascading down my back. This is good, but the moment my skin leaves the water, as if the needles are waiting like a swarm of bees above a lake waiting for their victim to resurface, I am stabbed repeatedly. I've read some of yall have had success with hot water yet I am very hesitant. I will attempt it...eventually. If that does not work I believe I have vinegar in the pantry. Maybe. Maybe not. I shall see. That will be my final attempt to relieve myself of this hell. Wish me luck. I hope to not fall into the pits of insanity
Update: I did attempt raises the temperature of the water. It worked very well and lasted for a little while before coming back, albeit not as bad. I went ahead and applied some vinegar in the most affected areas. Of course this burned. The idea I had was it would burn from the vinegar and as that subsided I would be left with no "itch." As you could've guessed, this did not work. Although the burn was still a nice break from the itch, I would recommend avoiding this. I am now back to a cold towel draped over me. Luckily I had some gabapentin come to my rescue. This could be the end of my journey through pain land.

Hi everyone,
I've been reading about the Harvard students protesting the war in Gaza by demanding that the university divest from Israel. This raises a question about the real impact of such divestment actions. When an institution like Harvard sells its shares in Israeli companies, it's essentially just transferring ownership of those shares to another buyer. How does this movement of shares actually influence the economic or political landscape in a meaningful way? Can divestment from a university truly pressure a country or contribute to stopping a conflict, considering that the economic impact seems limited to changing ownership rather than affecting the broader economy?
Even if a significant number of institutions were to divest and cause share prices of Israeli companies to drop, I'm skeptical about how that would translate into actual influence over business operations or government policies. Lower stock prices can affect a company's market valuation, but they don't necessarily disrupt day-to-day operations or long-term business strategies. How could this lead to any meaningful change in government actions or in the conflict itself?
Looking forward to hearing your thoughts on whether and how divestment can make a real difference in situations like this.

So i have a funny story to share, which does kinda demonstrate the importance of a car setup in this game.
I've recently been grinding Nordschleife with the setup from one of youtube legends. I have the base setup (named "base"), and the setup with adjusted tyre pressures (named "race"). I was driving the later for the past 2 weeks.
Then i had to take a brake for several days. Came back to the game, and something was completely off: i wasn't able to hit the times i was hitting before. The car felt weird: before i was able to leverage trail braking to rotate the car, now i had a 50% chance to spin whenever i touch the brakes mid corner. Car felt unstable over the curbs.
At first i thought that that's just the brake that i took from the game is affecting me. I've also bought new pedals and started racing in shoes, but haven't had issues last time... IDK. I spend an hour trying to adjust myself to the setup and finally was almost hitting my previous pace, but oh boy was it a struggle. The consistency wasn't there.
So i thought to myself, well, my pace is approaching somewhat competitive territory (~103%), may be the setup is holding me back? I decided to compare the base setup to the race (which supposedly should be same as "base" but with different tyre pressures) and qualy setup.
And shortly after looking at them i realised, that last time i was playing before the 2 days brake my smart ass decided to fiddle around with the race setup and accidentally overwritten it. I've essentially done 3 clicks: 1 click to lower the rear, 1 click to up the front and 1 click to increase rear wheel rate. That's it!
I've reverted the changes and car became so good again! Second lap i've hit my PB.
Of course it's partially me getting used to this car / setup combo and having trouble driving on the new setup. One could argue that this would happen even i would be given objectively "better" setup. But i don't have such issues jumping to other cars and changing setups, so i definitely think that good setup plays a huge role in how the game or car feels. And it's a shame that a lot of default setups don't feel very good.

Hi everyone,
I've been tangentially following encampment protests demanding that the university "divest Harvard’s investments in genocide." This raises a question about the real impact of such divestment actions. When an institution like Harvard sells its shares in Israeli companies, it's essentially just transferring ownership of those shares to another buyer. How does this movement of shares actually influence the economic or political landscape in a meaningful way? Can divestment from a university truly pressure a country or contribute to stopping a conflict, considering that the economic impact seems limited to changing ownership rather than affecting the broader economy?
Looking forward to hearing your thoughts on whether and how divestment can make a real difference in situations like this.

Hi - I'm Paul and I follow the e-commerce industry closely for my Shopifreaks E-commerce Newsletter. Each week I post a summary recap of the week's top stories, which I cover in depth with sources in the full edition. Let's dive in...
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STAT OF THE WEEK: Kohl's sales have shrunk by $2.3B since 2019. During that same period of time, the company lost 1.3M customers who no longer shop with the retailer.
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BigCommerce is exploring a sale after attracting takeover interest, according to sources who chose to remain anonymous due to the confidentiality of the information. The sources said that BigCommerce asked investment bank Qatalyst Partners to solicit interest from potential buyers that include private equity firms, but that the discussions are at an early stage and no deal is certain.
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Squarespace announced that it will be going private in a $6.9B all-cash deal with private-equity firm Permira, who agreed to pay $44 per share (a roughly 30% premium). Although Squarespace never lost 90% of its share price like BigCommerce, it has experienced a tumultuous time on the market since its IPO in May 2021 — opening around $49.50 and at times trading in the low $20s. Shares rose nearly 13% to $43 in pre-market trading upon release of the news.
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ByteDance filed a lawsuit in US federal court seeking to block the new law that would force the sale or ban of the app within the country. The lawsuit challenges the law on constitutional grounds, also citing commercial, technical, and legal hurdles, as well as opposition from Beijing. Legal experts say the legal battle will play out in the courts in coming months and likely will reach the Supreme Court.
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OpenAI unveiled its newest model, GPT-4o, designed to turn ChatGPT into a digital personal assistant that can engage in real-time, spoken conversations and interact with users using text, screenshots, photos, documents, and charts. The new version of ChatGPT also has memory capabilities, which means it can learn from previous conversations. It will be available to both unpaid and premium customers alike. OpenAI also announced that it would be launching a desktop app with the GPT-4o capabilities, giving users another platform to interact with the technology outside of a web browser.
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Amazon launched in South Africa last week, marking its first marketplace in sub-Saharan Africa, and bringing its total number of marketplaces worldwide to 22. To launch the new marketplace, Amazon is offering free delivery on first orders and on subsequent orders above R500 (about $27), access to 3,000 pick-up points, status updates via WhatsApp to track orders, 30 day refunds, and 24/7 customer support. The marketplace was supposed to launch in the country in 2023, but got delayed due to changes in priorities within Amazon.
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In an unlikely partnership, Instacart is partnering with Uber Eats to expand into the restaurant delivery business. Instacart will add a new tab for restaurant delivery to its app in the coming weeks, the listings will be provided by Uber, and the food will be picked up and delivered by Uber Eats drivers. Customers will receive the same prices on both apps and Instacart will receive an affiliate commission on orders. It's a strange partnership though given that Instacart and Uber Eats actively compete on grocery delivery. Are they planning to merge? Uber says no.
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Apple's advertisement for its latest iPad Pro sparked criticism for showing an animation of musical instruments, paint cans, cameras, record players, and other symbols of creativity being crushed by a giant machine, with the output being the new iPad Pro, which the company says is the thinnest Apple product ever. In this context, “crushing” was supposed to symbolize “consolidating” and “compacting” — with the visuals meant to showcase how the new iPad Pro puts the power of all these tools into the hands of creators in one thin device. However online commenters criticized the ad as insensitive and as symbolizing a “destruction of the human experience.” The ad hit the web on Tuesday, and by Thursday, Apple issued a mea culpa and apologized for the campaign.
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Google is encouraging merchants to enable conversion annotations on their Google Shopping ads, which offer social proof that highlight a product's popularity. Conversion annotations like “best selling” or “3K shopped here recently” would provide visual cues about a product’s popularity or sales performance directly in the ad unit. Annotations like these are par for the course with e-commerce retailers including Amazon, Walmart, and Temu, which all employ similar tactics. They can provide valuable info for shoppers and also help with conversions. However they also open data privacy concerns, given that Google is not the actual retailer or marketplace selling the items, so a merchant would have to share this purchase history data from their e-commerce platform with Google — which technically most already do by giving access to GA4.
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Shein is attempting to join the National Retail Federation as it pursues regulatory approval to go public in the US. The company believes that NRF membership would boost its chances of receiving SEC approval. However so far, Shein has been rejected numerous times. An anonymous source familiar with the matter said someone with heavy influence at the NRF is strongly against the Shein's admittance. However board members who spoke to CNBC said that Shein's membership application hadn't come up in meetings, and that they aren't involved in deciding which companies are granted access.
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Amazon is leading the way with selling home goods, capturing 18.8% of consumer home furnishings spending, compared to Walmart's 7.3% market share. Notably, Amazon’s gains in the furniture category come in spite of the company’s decision to phase out two of its three furniture brands last year.
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Stanley, which is projected to do $750M in sales this year, up from $73M in 2019, after seeing its water bottles become a status symbol thanks to TikTok, is now expanding into trendier accessories. The company is launching a line of bags called the All-Day Collection which include a mini cooler, backpack cooler, and Quencher Carry-All, designed for someone to sling their Stanley over their hip.
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Jack Dorsey left the Bluesky board and deleted his account on the service he helped kickstart, claiming that Bluesky was “literally repeating all the mistakes” he made while running Twitter. Dorsey says he never intended Bluesky to be an independent company, but rather, an open source protocol that Twitter was supposed to be the first client of. He also confirmed that he is financially backing Nostr, another decentralized Twitter-like service popular among crypto enthusiasts and run by an anonymous founder.
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Amazon is deploying 50 electric trucks in California, which it claims is the largest EV fleet in the country, as part of its mission to eliminate pollution from its global operations. The trucks will be integrated into first-mile operations, moving goods from container ships at the ports to fulfillment centers, as well as middle-mile operations, transporting packages from fulfillment centers to delivery centers.
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Wix launched a new tool called AI Portfolio Creator, which allows a user to upload and organize large-scale image collections, select the type of portfolio they want, and then have the AI tool sort and generate a portfolio with clustered images, recommended titles and descriptions, and personalized layout options.
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Amazon is now requiring all dietary supplements to be verified by a third-party testing, inspection, and certification organization — which is something that not even the FDA requires. Amazon is the largest supplement retailer in the US ahead of Walmart and Target, and its new requirements are expected to put more pressure on the industry, which is being scrutinized more than ever.
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Alibaba is revamping its flagship retail website Taobao for the first time in seven years with a focus on providing a smoother search and buying process. The website overhaul comes ahead of the 618 sales event, China's second-largest annual shopping event. A few weeks ago I reported that Eddie Wu, the CEO of Alibaba Group, would now be directly overseeing its domestic e-commerce arm which includes Taobao and Tmall Group, and it sounds like he's hitting the ground running with his new responsibilities.
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Amazon is hosting its first-ever Amazon Book Sale, a new shopping event starting on May 15th that offers up to 50% off print best sellers and up to 80% off Kindle Books. The six day shopping event will exclusively run in the US, and Prime-membership is not required to take advantage of the deals.
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FTX reported that nearly all of its customers will receive the money back that they are owed, two years after the cryptocurrency exchange imploded. The company owes about $11.2B to its customers and estimates that it has between $14.5B and $16.3B to distribute to them. The caveat is that customers will receive the USD value of their holdings at the time of the exchange collapse, and not the actual crypto holdings themselves, which means that they'll miss out on all gains during the past two years during which BTC went from around $16k to now over $60k. Better than nothing though, that's for sure.
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800,000 consumers in Europe and the US were duped into sharing card details and other sensitive personal data with a network of fake online designer shops operated from China, which comprised one of the largest scams of its kind with 76,000 fake websites created. The scammers used expired domains to host its fake shops in order to help avoid detection by websites or brand owners, and more than 1M orders were processed in the past three years alone.
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Beyond Inc, which owns Bed Bath & Beyond, Overstock, and Zulily, reported that its Q1 net loss swelled to $72M from $10M a year ago, while its operating loss widened to $58M from $8M. The company's active customers grew to 6M, up 26% from nearly 5M a year ago, however, its average order value dropped to $173 from $220 a year earlier.
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TikTok will begin automatically labeling AI generated content when it is uploaded from certain platforms like DALL.E 3, Adobe Firefly, Photoshop, and Microsoft Copilot. TikTok will also start attaching Content Credentials to content, which will remain on the media when downloaded, allowing other platforms to read the metadata.
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eBay is testing an Add To Cart button in search results that opens a Quick View window, allowing buyers to skip the listing page. Technically the button should probably not be labeled “Add To Cart” since it doesn't perform that action, but rather, displays a quick view window with three buttons: Buy It Now, Add To Cart, View All Details. Sellers are worried that buyers will miss crucial details in the product description that may lead to increased returns and negative feedback.
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Amazon is planning to launch its fleet of drones in Tolleson, Arizona, but the city's extreme temperature is hampering its efforts. Drones can't operate in temperatures exceeding 104 degrees Fahrenheit, a temperature that Tolleson crosses for a full three months of the year.
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A US district judge dismissed X's lawsuit against Bright Data, a data-scraping company accused of improperly accessing X system and violating X terms and state laws when scraping and selling data. The judge basically said that if X owned the data, it could perhaps argue that it has exclusive rights to control it, but then X wouldn't be able to enjoy the safe harbor of Section 230, which allows the platform to avoid liability for third-party content. Can't have it both ways!
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Nintendo is discontinuing its X integration for the switch on June 10th, which means users will no longer be able to post screenshots or videos to the platform from their device. The drop in support also affects games like Super Smash Bros. Ultimate, which had game-specific options to send out tweets. Microsoft Xbox dropped support for X in April 2023 and Sony Playstation dropped the service in October 2023 due to the increase in X's API access fees.
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Amazon claimed that its recordable incident rate — a metric that comprises all injuries requiring “more than basic first-aid treatment” — at its US warehouses has improved by 24% since 2019. However the National Employment Law Project challenged Amazon's injury data in a report last week, claiming that Amazon's overall injury rate in 2023 was 71% higher than that of other employers in the sector at 6.5 cases per 100 workers.
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Amazon Ads announced three new advertising formats for streaming TV including shoppable carousel ads, interactive pause ads, and interactive trivia ads. Amazon did not say when the new ad types would officially launch, but noted that it will formally present them at a presentation on May 14th.
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Meta is rolling out an expanded set of generative AI ad tools that can create full image variations with text overlays, expand images to fit across different aspect ratios, and generate alternate versions of headlines and other ad text. The features will become available globally to advertisers by the end of the year.
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Square introduced a tool called Square Kiosk to allow self-service ordering at fast food restaurants. The device is a combined software, hardware, and payment solution that allows customers to select exactly what they want with customization options, upgrades, and add-ons.
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The European Parliament announced new measures to make packaging more sustainable and reduce packaging waste in the EU, including reduction targets of 15% by 2040 — which sounds far away but is only 16 years away?! As part of the new rules, the EU will set maximum empty space ratios for e-commerce transportation, ban certain single-use plastic packaging types, and beverage distributors and take-away food will have to offer consumers the option of bringing their own container.
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Indians who pre-ordered Teslas in 2016 are giving up and seeking refunds of their deposits after Elon Musk canceled another visit to the country last month. Disillusioned Tesla enthusiasts in India say they will now buy a car from the company only if they see it in a showroom, or they'll buy a different electrical vehicle from a company that actually exists in the country.
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Target is limiting its Pride Month collection to select stores this year instead of rolling out the merchandise nationwide like it typically has for the past decade, due to backlash the retailer experienced last year. Last May customers in certain stores knocked down LGBTQ+ merchandise displays, angrily approached store employees, and posted threatening videos on social media from inside the stores.
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E-commerce spending from Jan 1 to April 30, 2024 rose 7% YoY to $331.6B, according to Adobe Analytics. One trend Adobe identified during the period is a shift of online spending to purchasing the cheapest goods across personal care, electronics, apparel, home & garden, furniture, and grocery.
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Plus 7 seed rounds, IPOs, and acquisitions of interest, including Shopify's acquisition of Peel, a tool that integrates with a merchant's tech stack including Klaviyo and Recharge and helps them analyze their sales data to improve customer retention.
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I hope you found this recap helpful. See you next week!
PAUL Editor of Shopifreaks E-Commerce Newsletter
PS: If I missed any big news this week, please share in the comments.

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Hi - I'm Paul and I follow the e-commerce industry closely for my Shopifreaks E-commerce Newsletter. Each week I post a summary recap of the week's top stories, which I cover in depth in the newsletter. Let's dive in...
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STAT OF THE WEEK: Kohl's sales have shrunk by $2.3B since 2019. During that same period of time, the company lost 1.3M customers who no longer shop with the retailer.
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BigCommerce is exploring a sale after attracting takeover interest, according to sources who chose to remain anonymous due to the confidentiality of the information. The sources said that BigCommerce asked investment bank Qatalyst Partners to solicit interest from potential buyers that include private equity firms, but that the discussions are at an early stage and no deal is certain.
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Squarespace announced that it will be going private in a $6.9B all-cash deal with private-equity firm Permira, who agreed to pay $44 per share (a roughly 30% premium). Although Squarespace never lost 90% of its share price like BigCommerce, it has experienced a tumultuous time on the market since its IPO in May 2021 — opening around $49.50 and at times trading in the low $20s. Shares rose nearly 13% to $43 in pre-market trading upon release of the news.
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ByteDance filed a lawsuit in US federal court seeking to block the new law that would force the sale or ban of the app within the country. The lawsuit challenges the law on constitutional grounds, also citing commercial, technical, and legal hurdles, as well as opposition from Beijing. Legal experts say the legal battle will play out in the courts in coming months and likely will reach the Supreme Court.
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OpenAI unveiled its newest model, GPT-4o, designed to turn ChatGPT into a digital personal assistant that can engage in real-time, spoken conversations and interact with users using text, screenshots, photos, documents, and charts. The new version of ChatGPT also has memory capabilities, which means it can learn from previous conversations. It will be available to both unpaid and premium customers alike. OpenAI also announced that it would be launching a desktop app with the GPT-4o capabilities, giving users another platform to interact with the technology outside of a web browser.
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Amazon launched in South Africa last week, marking its first marketplace in sub-Saharan Africa, and bringing its total number of marketplaces worldwide to 22. To launch the new marketplace, Amazon is offering free delivery on first orders and on subsequent orders above R500 (about $27), access to 3,000 pick-up points, status updates via WhatsApp to track orders, 30 day refunds, and 24/7 customer support. The marketplace was supposed to launch in the country in 2023, but got delayed due to changes in priorities within Amazon.
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In an unlikely partnership, Instacart is partnering with Uber Eats to expand into the restaurant delivery business. Instacart will add a new tab for restaurant delivery to its app in the coming weeks, the listings will be provided by Uber, and the food will be picked up and delivered by Uber Eats drivers. Customers will receive the same prices on both apps and Instacart will receive an affiliate commission on orders. It's a strange partnership though given that Instacart and Uber Eats actively compete on grocery delivery. Are they planning to merge? Uber says no.
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Apple's advertisement for its latest iPad Pro sparked criticism for showing an animation of musical instruments, paint cans, cameras, record players, and other symbols of creativity being crushed by a giant machine, with the output being the new iPad Pro, which the company says is the thinnest Apple product ever. In this context, “crushing” was supposed to symbolize “consolidating” and “compacting” — with the visuals meant to showcase how the new iPad Pro puts the power of all these tools into the hands of creators in one thin device. However online commenters criticized the ad as insensitive and as symbolizing a “destruction of the human experience.” The ad hit the web on Tuesday, and by Thursday, Apple issued a mea culpa and apologized for the campaign.
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Google is encouraging merchants to enable conversion annotations on their Google Shopping ads, which offer social proof that highlight a product's popularity. Conversion annotations like “best selling” or “3K shopped here recently” would provide visual cues about a product’s popularity or sales performance directly in the ad unit. Annotations like these are par for the course with e-commerce retailers including Amazon, Walmart, and Temu, which all employ similar tactics. They can provide valuable info for shoppers and also help with conversions. However they also open data privacy concerns, given that Google is not the actual retailer or marketplace selling the items, so a merchant would have to share this purchase history data from their e-commerce platform with Google — which technically most already do by giving access to GA4.
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Shein is attempting to join the National Retail Federation as it pursues regulatory approval to go public in the US. The company believes that NRF membership would boost its chances of receiving SEC approval. However so far, Shein has been rejected numerous times. An anonymous source familiar with the matter said someone with heavy influence at the NRF is strongly against the Shein's admittance. However board members who spoke to CNBC said that Shein's membership application hadn't come up in meetings, and that they aren't involved in deciding which companies are granted access.
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Amazon is leading the way with selling home goods, capturing 18.8% of consumer home furnishings spending, compared to Walmart's 7.3% market share. Notably, Amazon’s gains in the furniture category come in spite of the company’s decision to phase out two of its three furniture brands last year.
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Stanley, which is projected to do $750M in sales this year, up from $73M in 2019, after seeing its water bottles become a status symbol thanks to TikTok, is now expanding into trendier accessories. The company is launching a line of bags called the All-Day Collection which include a mini cooler, backpack cooler, and Quencher Carry-All, designed for someone to sling their Stanley over their hip.
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Jack Dorsey left the Bluesky board and deleted his account on the service he helped kickstart, claiming that Bluesky was “literally repeating all the mistakes” he made while running Twitter. Dorsey says he never intended Bluesky to be an independent company, but rather, an open source protocol that Twitter was supposed to be the first client of. He also confirmed that he is financially backing Nostr, another decentralized Twitter-like service popular among crypto enthusiasts and run by an anonymous founder.
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Amazon is deploying 50 electric trucks in California, which it claims is the largest EV fleet in the country, as part of its mission to eliminate pollution from its global operations. The trucks will be integrated into first-mile operations, moving goods from container ships at the ports to fulfillment centers, as well as middle-mile operations, transporting packages from fulfillment centers to delivery centers.
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Wix launched a new tool called AI Portfolio Creator, which allows a user to upload and organize large-scale image collections, select the type of portfolio they want, and then have the AI tool sort and generate a portfolio with clustered images, recommended titles and descriptions, and personalized layout options.
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Amazon is now requiring all dietary supplements to be verified by a third-party testing, inspection, and certification organization — which is something that not even the FDA requires. Amazon is the largest supplement retailer in the US ahead of Walmart and Target, and its new requirements are expected to put more pressure on the industry, which is being scrutinized more than ever.
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Alibaba is revamping its flagship retail website Taobao for the first time in seven years with a focus on providing a smoother search and buying process. The website overhaul comes ahead of the 618 sales event, China's second-largest annual shopping event. A few weeks ago I reported that Eddie Wu, the CEO of Alibaba Group, would now be directly overseeing its domestic e-commerce arm which includes Taobao and Tmall Group, and it sounds like he's hitting the ground running with his new responsibilities.
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Amazon is hosting its first-ever Amazon Book Sale, a new shopping event starting on May 15th that offers up to 50% off print best sellers and up to 80% off Kindle Books. The six day shopping event will exclusively run in the US, and Prime-membership is not required to take advantage of the deals.
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FTX reported that nearly all of its customers will receive the money back that they are owed, two years after the cryptocurrency exchange imploded. The company owes about $11.2B to its customers and estimates that it has between $14.5B and $16.3B to distribute to them. The caveat is that customers will receive the USD value of their holdings at the time of the exchange collapse, and not the actual crypto holdings themselves, which means that they'll miss out on all gains during the past two years during which BTC went from around $16k to now over $60k. Better than nothing though, that's for sure.
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800,000 consumers in Europe and the US were duped into sharing card details and other sensitive personal data with a network of fake online designer shops operated from China, which comprised one of the largest scams of its kind with 76,000 fake websites created. The scammers used expired domains to host its fake shops in order to help avoid detection by websites or brand owners, and more than 1M orders were processed in the past three years alone.
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Beyond Inc, which owns Bed Bath & Beyond, Overstock, and Zulily, reported that its Q1 net loss swelled to $72M from $10M a year ago, while its operating loss widened to $58M from $8M. The company's active customers grew to 6M, up 26% from nearly 5M a year ago, however, its average order value dropped to $173 from $220 a year earlier.
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TikTok will begin automatically labeling AI generated content when it is uploaded from certain platforms like DALL.E 3, Adobe Firefly, Photoshop, and Microsoft Copilot. TikTok will also start attaching Content Credentials to content, which will remain on the media when downloaded, allowing other platforms to read the metadata.
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eBay is testing an Add To Cart button in search results that opens a Quick View window, allowing buyers to skip the listing page. Technically the button should probably not be labeled “Add To Cart” since it doesn't perform that action, but rather, displays a quick view window with three buttons: Buy It Now, Add To Cart, View All Details. Sellers are worried that buyers will miss crucial details in the product description that may lead to increased returns and negative feedback.
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Amazon is planning to launch its fleet of drones in Tolleson, Arizona, but the city's extreme temperature is hampering its efforts. Drones can't operate in temperatures exceeding 104 degrees Fahrenheit, a temperature that Tolleson crosses for a full three months of the year.
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A US district judge dismissed X's lawsuit against Bright Data, a data-scraping company accused of improperly accessing X system and violating X terms and state laws when scraping and selling data. The judge basically said that if X owned the data, it could perhaps argue that it has exclusive rights to control it, but then X wouldn't be able to enjoy the safe harbor of Section 230, which allows the platform to avoid liability for third-party content. Can't have it both ways!
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Nintendo is discontinuing its X integration for the switch on June 10th, which means users will no longer be able to post screenshots or videos to the platform from their device. The drop in support also affects games like Super Smash Bros. Ultimate, which had game-specific options to send out tweets. Microsoft Xbox dropped support for X in April 2023 and Sony Playstation dropped the service in October 2023 due to the increase in X's API access fees.
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Amazon claimed that its recordable incident rate — a metric that comprises all injuries requiring “more than basic first-aid treatment” — at its US warehouses has improved by 24% since 2019. However the National Employment Law Project challenged Amazon's injury data in a report last week, claiming that Amazon's overall injury rate in 2023 was 71% higher than that of other employers in the sector at 6.5 cases per 100 workers.
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Amazon Ads announced three new advertising formats for streaming TV including shoppable carousel ads, interactive pause ads, and interactive trivia ads. Amazon did not say when the new ad types would officially launch, but noted that it will formally present them at a presentation on May 14th.
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Meta is rolling out an expanded set of generative AI ad tools that can create full image variations with text overlays, expand images to fit across different aspect ratios, and generate alternate versions of headlines and other ad text. The features will become available globally to advertisers by the end of the year.
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Square introduced a tool called Square Kiosk to allow self-service ordering at fast food restaurants. The device is a combined software, hardware, and payment solution that allows customers to select exactly what they want with customization options, upgrades, and add-ons.
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The European Parliament announced new measures to make packaging more sustainable and reduce packaging waste in the EU, including reduction targets of 15% by 2040 — which sounds far away but is only 16 years away?! As part of the new rules, the EU will set maximum empty space ratios for e-commerce transportation, ban certain single-use plastic packaging types, and beverage distributors and take-away food will have to offer consumers the option of bringing their own container.
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Indians who pre-ordered Teslas in 2016 are giving up and seeking refunds of their deposits after Elon Musk canceled another visit to the country last month. Disillusioned Tesla enthusiasts in India say they will now buy a car from the company only if they see it in a showroom, or they'll buy a different electrical vehicle from a company that actually exists in the country.
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Target is limiting its Pride Month collection to select stores this year instead of rolling out the merchandise nationwide like it typically has for the past decade, due to backlash the retailer experienced last year. Last May customers in certain stores knocked down LGBTQ+ merchandise displays, angrily approached store employees, and posted threatening videos on social media from inside the stores.
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E-commerce spending from Jan 1 to April 30, 2024 rose 7% YoY to $331.6B, according to Adobe Analytics. One trend Adobe identified during the period is a shift of online spending to purchasing the cheapest goods across personal care, electronics, apparel, home & garden, furniture, and grocery.
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Plus 7 seed rounds, IPOs, and acquisitions of interest, including Shopify's acquisition of Peel, a tool that integrates with a merchant's tech stack including Klaviyo and Recharge and helps them analyze their sales data to improve customer retention.
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I hope you found this recap helpful. See you next week!
For more details on each story and sources, see the full edition: https://www.shopifreaks.com/bigcommerce-for-sale-openai-gpt-4o-instacarts-unlikely-partnership/
What else is new in e-commerce? Share stories of interesting in the comments below (including in your own business) or on shopifreaks.
-PAUL Editor of Shopifreaks E-commerce Newsletter
PS: Want the full editions delivered to your Inbox each week? Join free at www.shopifreaks.com

I understand that when dropping to 10 m in water we are then at 2 atm of pressure. If you would not have equalized by then (yikes) then the absolute pressure difference is 2-1=1 atm (~1e5 Pa), relative difference is 100% (doubling). Surface area of ear drum ~5e-5 m sq. Gives a force of 5 N (yikes again, but thankfully hypothetical).
Now I equalize at 2 atm and dive 10 more meters to 3 atm without equalizing. The absolute pressure difference is again 3-2=1 atm, same force of 5 N on ear drum. But the relative pressure difference is 50% (from 2 atm to 3 atm is +50%).
However, in practice I (and most?) find it mory easy to equalize, the deeper we are. Online sources say that this is because the relative pressure decreases (which we just showed it does). But the relative pressure (i.e. pressure ratio) does not determine the force on the ear drum! Force = absolute pressure difference * area.
I must be missing some basic (bio)physics here. Any suggestions?

Today I'm discussing Master of All, which is a perk from Generic Gamer. If you've never seen this perk or heard of this jump... this perk is probably the best singular perk in the jump (though ALL of them are really good), but it's not the INTENDED reason to come here. I personally think an early jump could stand to benefit from fusing GGJ with a more mundane jump (which is what my latest story-jumper is doing though not by choice) and grabbing this perk, it's appeal is kind of amazing. Now let's see the ACTUAL perk!

Master of All: Specialists focus on depth at the expense of breadth; generalists focus on breadth at the expense of depth. But what if you could focus on a single ability and have it benefit all of them? When you train one skill, ability, or power, that training and development applies not just to it, but to all of the skills, abilities, and powers you possess.

This is, understandably, a capstone perk. It is immensely powerful, and is the best TRAINING perk I've ever seen. There are BETTER perks out there for mastering stuff, heck I'll even include the other capstone in this jump just so you can see a better perk for MASTERING something.

Hyperspecialization: There’s focusing in a few specific areas, and then there’s this. Select a single skill, ability, power, Perk, whatever, so long as it’s possible to improve. At base, two things happen. A: the chosen ability progresses as if you’re training with it all the time, even when you’re doing nothing; if you were to actively train with it, the rate of growth would be effectively doubled. B: the rate of growth and development for the chosen ability is multiplied by a hundred.
Now, keep in mind that that’s just at base — both of these boosts increase gradually but exponentially the longer you focus on a single ability. Give it a few days, and the rate of growth will be multiplied by two hundred; a month, and by a thousand. You can change what ability you’re focusing on at any time at the cost of resetting the accrued exponential boosts.

Hyperspecialization IS a better perk if you want to master singular skills (or if you need a boost in power or skill in some SPECIFIC area but don't have the time to actually sit down and hone that area), but if you want to TRAIN something, if you value working for your goals, and if you want to be a jack of all trades Master of All is the better perk. And of course you could always grab BOTH perks, you could even do so without a SINGLE drawback AND you could still get other perks WITHOUT stacking drawbacks due to the discount mechanics of this jump. But I strongly prefer Master of All, personally.
Master of All is a very creative way to reward engagement in a setting which is something I'm always a fan of. A smart jumper who is not constrained by something like the notion of a fickle benefactor who ACTUALLY punishes boring jumpers might get something like Hyperspecialization and want to turtle up, but with Master of All you need to do SOMETHING for it to benefit you. Now WHAT you do doesn't matter, so long as you do SOMETHING that serves as training.
A very fun build could be for someone to snag both Skills, which is a function of the gamer system in Generic Gamer and then grab MoA and go to something like Generic School Years and diligently study. That studying will definitely count for MoA, since studying will definitely become or involve a skill as defined by Skills. This means that while you're studying you're becoming better at gymnastics, or cooking, or painting, or... using The Force, or mana management, or whatever other skills you've gained at this point in your journey.
One small facet of Master of All that is very interesting is how it stacks with uncappers and the very neat knowledge that there is a free uncapper in Generic Gamer (it's a facet of the gamer system!). This means that Master of All will eventually give you stuff like functionally limitless stamina and potentially unlimited strength, once you get the right upgradeable stuff at least. A fun thing I like about this perk is how it affects stuff like workouts. Workouts not only make you more physically fit with this, they also strengthen your perks, strengthen facets of your physique, and can even improve your luck (assuming there is a perk for your luck, which there IS in this jump in two senses: there's The Devil's Own Luck, AND there's a gamer function called Attributes, which CAN give you a luck stat if you want, I recommend it partially to mix with this perk). The idea that going for a joydrive can strengthen your telekinesis, or actively make you smarter is very funny but also very true with this perk and the right mix of gamer things.
This perk on it's own is somewhat limited, but a smart strategist who wants their jumper to be able to stand alone has a lot of options they can use. Two of my favorites here are Jack of All Trades and Experience Booster. JoAT is a fun perk that makes it much easier for you to hone new perksyou acquire along your chain, and Experience Booster is just a POWERHOUSE of a perk that boosts how much experience you get from anything that gives you experience, whether you only get it from defeating enemies or you get it from doing minor stuff, and if you mix it with Master of All you get a powerful combination since it makes it so that your workouts buff your brain by twenty times as much as they would otherwise. The best way to cheese it has got to be to go all in on game-ifying your life and taking the skills function of the gamer system, which allows you to make a ton of stuff into a skill, which thus plugs it into the Master of All functionality. Here, look at the description of Skills so you can see what I mean.

Skills (-100/-200/-300 GP)
For 100 GP, any ability or skill you possess becomes a ‘Skill’, with a skill level, increasing in power and efficiency as it levels up, done by gaining enough experience, which is gathered by using the skill; Level 1 is maximum inefficiency, while Level 99 is the maximum efficiency you could normally get — you can go even beyond that, though, with no hard cap to how high a skill’s level can be. The higher a skill’s level, the more experience required to get it to the next level. Generally, the more powerful and useful a skill, the slower it is to level up.
Any powers, skills, or abilities you already possess are automatically converted into System Skills. You may gain new skills by performing relevant actions; for example, throwing a knife might earn you the skill ‘Knife Throwing’. Skills will not deteriorate with time or disuse.
For an additional 100 GP, once a skill has reached Level 99, it may ‘prestige’, granting you an at least vaguely similar but much more powerful skill at Level 1 without taking away this one or, occasionally, traits if you’ve purchased the option. Prestige skills may themselves prestige. Prestige skills are especially difficult to level up.
For an additional 100 GP, you may ‘combine’ certain skills into a new one — without actually losing the ingredient skills.

This is hands down the best way to cheese this. This is also just a VERY good function in general, but guaranteeing that your skills can improve AND uncapping how good the stuff you do and the stuff you make can be is INCREDIBLE. This also allows you to become holistically better at everything just by cooking, or reading, and thus rewards you for having hobbies. This perk is very nice because it frees you from the constraints of training and having to incorporate stuff that makes you a stronger jumper but is more time-consuming and is not what a native would do.
I'm gonna take a beat to talk about Hyperspecialization again because one thing that's worth mentioning is that it's a passive trainer perk. It's MORE than that, sure, and in fact if you get it you're getting something worth every bit of CP you pay for it, but at it's core it's an enormously powerful passive trainer. There are other passive trainers. There didn't USE to be, at least not a LOT of them, but they exist now (these types of perks exist in several Edrogrimshell jumps, usually they are named "Dabbler" but not all of them have that name) so this perk has lost of some what made it unique. A perk doesn't have to be unique to be valuable, but it helps. Master of All, on the other hand is part of a, as far as I've seen, rarer type of perk: a training synergizer (something which blends types of training and studying together), and it's also a COMPLETE training synergizer which I've never seen before or anywhere else (normally the training synergizers I've seen link SPECIFIC skills, such as a perk from Generic Wizard which syncs how strong you are with your skill as a wizard, or a perk from Generic Culinary Warrior that links your cooking and combat skills). What this means is that if you miss out on Hyperspecialization you can go to other jumps and snag an equivalent perk there. In fact, you can actually grab something that is a MINOR improvement over Hyperspecilization, because all of the passive trainers I've seen let you passively train more than one thing at a time. It IS true that Hyperspecilization beats out these other, baby perks in how quickly it trains what you assign, but that minor aspect of its winning out is somewhat lessened in importance when you remember that placing something new in the lone slot hyperspecialization gives you resets how fast it trains the thing in question. Master of All is both less easy to compare to other existing perks and doesn't have any internal conditions that weaken active usage of it like Hyperspecialization does.
Now that's not to put you off of Hyperspecialization, if I were in a real chain I'd want to grab BOTH Hyperspecialization and Master of All (and not just because MoA completely removes the weakness of Hyperspecialization, but that's certainly a part of it haha), these are INCREDIBLY powerful perks, but one is... one is more universally useful than the other. Master of All is just an absolute S-tier perk. I cannot imagine any build where MoA is applicable where it wouldn't be an absolute GOD-TIER of a purchase. The only possible combination I could think of that might invalidate MoA would be the Sage x Spirit Touched combination from the ATLA Redux jump, and that'd be most of your base CP in a jump that has MULTIPLE sections worth of stuff to try and grab.
To put this in perspective, with a perk like this and the right combination of gamer things you can go into a setting like Chronicle and hone your telekinesis by working on your photography skills. You can become a better chef by doing your math homework and rereading whatever chapter of MacBeth you're on in English. Once you've gained the right skills you can become better at soccer and other sports while you design a website. Become a better wizard by practicing juggling. This is an incredible QoL perk that frees you from a lot of the time-crunchiness that comes with only having a decade in a setting as opposed to a lifetime. Honestly that's kind of the biggest strength of the particular nature of the Generic Gamer Jump, it does a LOT to free up your time and really let you optimize your time in a setting.

Generic Gamer As A Time Optimizer

So depending on the setting, a decade is either a LOT of time or it's BARELY any time. In Avatar the Last Airbender, a decade can be a HUGE amount of time (the entire plot of the first show is about one calendar year according to one of the show's execs), but in Harry Potter a decade is only a bit more time than the plot takes, and truthfully is barely a blink of an eye. So perks that allow you to have a special relationship with time are always good.
One of the critical facets of Generic Gamer is how it allows you to optimize time. There's definitely some underlying logic here, since game characters have INCREDIBLE growth rates, and I love that about this jump. Generic Gamer, for the cost of 50 GP lets you lose the need to sleep, the need to eat, and the need to drink. That is an INCREDIBLE boost to the amount of functional time you have in a jump, if you started your chain off as a base human and entered this jump as a non-boosted human or as an only minorly-boosted human. Getting rid of three of the most essential bodily needs for the cost of 50 points in a thing where you start off with 1350 points makes it a steal (You get different points for perks and for gamer system customization in this jump).
A big part of how essential this is, is how much time it saves you by eliminating sleep but in all honesty removing your need to drink or eat is also critical. I don't know how many jumps could safely be taken as first jumps that completely eliminate the need for sleep, food, AND water, but this one can and that's pretty OP given the costs. Also, bv eliminating the need for stuff like food and water you make entire other jumps wholly more viable. Minecraft, for example, becomes WILDLY safer if you don't have to work about starvation, since hunger is directly linked to your ability to recover from wounds but in Generic Gamer you can completely subvert this system by spending 100 GP: purchase Gamer Body (eliminating the need for food) and also purchase the HP System (which gives you fiat-backed regen, so long as you don't take a hit for a beat, giving you a passive heal much like some FPS games).
Gamer's Body & HP System guarantee you survive any setting that isn't actively trying to kill you, and also frees you up to more safely do what you want like explore or just have a good time. If you don't have to pay for food or housing for sleep, you either don't need money or you need a LOT less of it. Stuff like this is also DRAMATICALLY powerful for vampires and other creatures that are normally driven by, or at least associated with, constant hunger. Also this just makes zombie jumps hilariously easy for you to solo since the number of risks you have to take (while solo) are SO MUCH lower. Funnily enough the right set of perks here even lower the risks you have to take when you work WITH other people, as Inventory lets you both raid places by yourself (since you can store an infinite amount of stuff on you by yourself) AND lowers how much supplies you need for your friends (since time doesn't pass for stuff in your inventory, preventing it from going bad!).
This jump is also filled with training boosters, with Jack of All Trades, Experience Booster, Hyperspecialization, and Master of All all qualifying as training boosters broadly, they all just qualify as different TYPES of training boosters. This is very interesting, since one of the big things a lot of adventure jumpers will need sooner or later are training boosts of their own. The best training boost here is Experience Booster which buffs training by 100 times, a STUNNING boost to one's training, and this stacks hilariously with every other training booster here.
I have a lot of thoughts on this jump and I think I'll keep writing them down from time to time. It's just so good.

Hello everyone. I’m a mid twenties male who’s had bad chronic stomach problems ever since I got sick with a c diff infection 5 years back. I have ibs, gerd, gastritis, and in the past 6 months I’ve discovered that I also have lpr. So my gerd is out of control even with a bland diet which I still maintain to the best of my ability. Without meds I had this issue where my stomach felt like a bowling ball and pressure and it was making it very hard for me to breathe all day long. I had to force myself to yawn just to take a breath.
I started dexilant 30mg for 2 months and it helped a lot with the breathing problem. In the past few weeks I’ve been having uncontrolled lpr symptoms all day/night where the acid is going up my throat and into my mouth. This is triggering excess saliva buildup and I am spitting constantly throughout the day to the point where I have to keep a bottle next to me. The acid is also mixing with the saliva and making a horrible bitter taste in my mouth so I’m also constantly rinsing my mouth out with water. I can’t even lie down without having to get up over and over to spit otherwise I’ll choke. I didn’t realize that the ppi was making it worse so a few days ago I went up to dexilant 60mg. Now it seems even worse.
Does anyone here have any advice or possible solutions for me? My quality of life has been terrible for years now due to my various problems and now it keeps getting worse. I barely sleep so I’m always sleep deprived, I feel like garbage, I can’t function normally. I honestly can’t take the torture of these illnesses anymore and am at a loss on what to do. I’m having mental breakdowns everyday at this point. I thought the ppi was supposed to help me and it did with 1 issue but seems like it has exacerbated another issue. Any help would be appreciated. Thank you.

The definition of cheating in a relationship seems to change, and depends upon who you ask as to their expectations.
The stereotype is that men tend to perceive cheating as exclusive to physical encounters or actions. Whereas, women also see emotional infidelity as cheating.
Emotional cheating is defined as sharing something with someone you wouldn’t with your partner.
Relationships that exist over the internet or phone may also be considered cheating, especially if you share explicit words, photos, or sexual acts.
With the development and rapid growth of the internet, smartphones, dating websites/apps, social media, and all the like, it is now easier than ever for cheating to occur.
Infidelity is considered a violation of emotional or sexual exclusivity. The boundaries of exclusivity, or omittance, are different in each couple, which is to be expected as everyone has different views and values.
Sometimes these boundaries have been clearly discussed and stated, but most of the time, boundaries are usually silently assumed. If each partner has different assumed boundaries and limits, it is difficult for intimate inclusivity expectations to be met by either partner.
When a partner has violated the unwritten rules around their relationship’s infidelity, it is a ‘natural’ response of the affected partner to feel sexual jealousy and rivalry - but should this be the ‘natural’ response to cheating? It is the expected, and almost obligatory, response to this situation, but it does not have to be.
In fact, infidelity is not always the result of an unhappy or unhealthy relationship. Take polyamory for example, which is defined as the practice of, or desire for, romantic relationships with more than one partner at the same time, with the informed consent of all partners involved. Except, it is so much more than this.
Polyamory takes into account that no one person can be absolutely everything to another. In modern day relationships, we turn to one person to provide what an entire village once did to give us a sense of grounding, purpose, and stable continuity. As well as, expecting our relationship to be romantic, emotionally open, and sexually satisfying. This is an impossible ask of just one person, as we are only human.
A way to keep the embers of a relationship burning with desire is to ensure that you have time to yourself, as well as, together. Polyamory fulfils and surpasses this by having multiple relationships which fulfil different aspects of what you need. These relationships are also known as consensual non-monogamy, which can be purely platonic, romantic, sexually intimate, intellectually stimulating, kinky, or just for chillaxing.
The primary couple in a polygamous relationship is usually married, live together, or have families together. This is not the end of romance, it is the beginning! As, both partners know that they have years in which to deepen the connection they share, to experiment together in and out of the bedroom, and even to fail - because this is how we learn and grow as human beings.
In the book by Alain de Botton, ‘The Course of Love,’ it says, ‘When we run up against the reasonable limits of our lover’s capacity for understanding, we musn’t blame them for dereliction. They were not tragically inept. They couldn’t fully fathom who we were — and we could do no better. No one properly gets, or can fully sympathize with anyone else… there can not be better options out there. Everyone is always impossible.’
Basically, there is no-one out there who will anticipate every single one of your needs, be able to read your head or your heart, be able to act selflessly when it comes to you, or be able to always make everything better.
If cheating has already taken place in a ‘conventional’ relationship, the usual conclusion is that too much pain has occurred, that the trust has been compromised, and that leaving one another is the best option. This may not be the best solution, as breaking up is not straightforward or practical in many cases.
You need to continually work hard to have a healthy relationship. Thoughts, values, feelings, and sexual drive all change over time as we live and learn from life experiences. We have the capacity to process these changes and to consider things properly before acting - so as not to react as an obligatory reflex.
Polyamorous relationships involve multiple people; imagine the relief you would feel by knowing that you do not have to be the unfaltering, infallible superhero 24/7 for your partner because they are not looking to get absolutely everything from you. Being able to ‘outsource’ different needs to different people in your life is not only liberating, but actually incredibly healthy too. As polyamorous relationships require more honesty, open communication, care, and self-reflection.
When you have multiple partners, you have the opportunity to learn about and connect with different people on a deeper emotional level. This can cultivate greater intimacy, fulfilment, and stability in these relationships, as you ‘assign’ different needs, desires, and expectations to different people who can cope with the smaller emotional demand.
A poll was conducted with results showing that being in non-monogamous relationships with multiple people is seen as less offensive than cheating on your marriage partner.
Cheating involves hiding our feelings and actions from our partner, which usually creates greater distance and disconnection between you both. Your body language, micro-expressions, and tone of voice will eventually reveal how you genuinely feel if you are hiding something.
Being caught in the act of infidelity has a psychological effect upon the one cheated upon and include feelings of betrayal, anger, and fear, dissociated self-image and self-awareness for the person cheated on, and a loss of personal and sexual confidence.
The attitude towards infidelity varies from 84% of people in America strongly agreeing that cheating is morally unacceptable, to only 47% of people in France saying this.
The attitude in the UK towards polyamory has now reached a third of heterosexual men and 11% of women being open to the concept of having multiple non-monogamous relationships, as many people now want to have more authentic relationships with partners that are not limited by arbitrary restrictions on affection.
So, why do people cheat? The main reasons for infidelity are: Lack of love causing the feeling of falling ‘out of love’ with your partner, or not enough passion or interest in the partner anymore. Neglect, feeling as though you are not receiving enough attention, respect or love. Esteem boost to validate your sense of self-worth by being desired by or having sex with multiple partners. Sexual desire: not wanting sex with your partner or wanting to have sex more with others. Low commitment where the relationship is not clearly defined. Variety and wanting to have more sexual partners or experiences. Situation stressors, such as being in an unusual scenario, under high stress, under the influence of alcohol or a substance.
These factors reveal more about the individual person who cheats, and their personality, rather than anything else. If you are feeling neglected and unappreciated then you will start to subconsciously seek out praise and approval elsewhere.
One way to reduce the likelihood of cheating is to build ‘companionate love,’ rather than equating real love with passion. This is where partners have a deep commitment between them and share affection for each other, but they lack sexual desire or passion. It is just one form of love that people in romantic relationships can cultivate. It endures and grows over time with deeper meaningfulness in the relationship where both partners have mutual respect and enjoyment of each other's company.
Companionate love is an intimate sort of love that is stronger than friendship because there is a long-term commitment between you both built upon love and shared values. It is more grounded, steady, and based on emotional intimacy and a sense of comfort and security with your partner.
There is always something about your partner that is still to be discovered. We all change our ideals and reprioritise our values as we grow older, and the hardest thing for us is to acknowledge and accept the true nature of who we are. Over time, actions rather than our intentions become more important, so try to be grateful for the considerate and affectionate signs within your current relationship. It is much healthier to make your current relationship as good as possible than imagining that ‘the one’ could be around the corner.
(Of course, there is no condoning staying in an abusive and neglectful relationship.)
No one is perfect. This is where consensual non-monogamy can take the pressure off of trying to be perfect for your partner. Spreading your emotional and physical requirements across multiple partners is more likely to satisfy the majority of your needs than piling everything onto one person and straining the relationship. This means that you - and your partners - will have better relationship skills and will be generally happier.
However many people you choose to have in your relationship, just make sure that you stay safe, sane, and consensual all you glorious, beautiful kinksters.

littlemistresssays #positivementalattitude #BDSM #kink #spicy #BDSMcommunity #kinkcommunity #BDSMeducator #kinkeducator #spicyeducator #newsletter #may2024 #love #polyamory #cheating #infidelity #relationships

Okay, so I know how that sounds. But it’s a lot more complicated than just being “the other woman”… This happened a few years ago, but still affects my life to this day. And get some popcorn, because it’s a long one.
So backstory, at the time - I, F 18/19 had just graduated high-school and gotten my first “adult job” serving at a popular chain restaurant. This was when COVID mandates were still in place, so instead of the traditional college route, I opted for online Community College while living with my parents and siblings.
Shortly after starting this job we got a new manager, M 25/26. He was from pretty far out of town, and his placement at our location was quite a commute for him, about 45 minutes to an hour one way.
He and I were immediately close, and always got along. I admired his hard work and I wanted to learn everything I could from him. I’ll admit, I had a little crush but it was whatever, I was focused on other things like school and trying to move up in the company. He took me under his wing as what he would call his “personal project”. He said he saw potential in me and wanted to train me to be a manager. Because of his help and training, I was able to move up in the company and made great progress.
After we had gotten to know each other more from working with each-other and the mentorship, I found out he shared a daughter with who he would refer to as “Baby Mama”.
I asked him many times about her and he said they were 100% not together. He also multiple times on multiple occasion’s would say things like “oh yeah, it’s my night with my daughter” or “it’s my turn to have her” - so I assumed they weren’t even living together. And boy does it go down hill from here…
We began to see each other outside of work. Obviously, this is against many companies policies - and for good reason too. So I kept it secret. I didn’t want him to lose his job and I wanted to build a career, I didn’t want to jeopardize any of that. And at this point in the relationship I feel it’s necessary to point out for context that I was a virgin and had never done anything like that before.
A very short while into our relationship he told me he didn’t want to keep secrets from me if this was going to work, and told me that his Baby Mama was expecting again. I asked AGAIN if they were in a relationship and he told me that it was just a “heat of the moment hook up” before we had gotten together and that it was rare - but that it did happen sometimes when they were both single and looking for “convenience”.
Looking back I’m kicking myself for ever believing that shit.
So what do I do? I decide to look on social media for some guidance. I found both his AND his Baby Mama’s Facebook and Instagram pages… and for at least a year, there was NO evidence to be found of them in a relationship. No loving dating posts, no Mothers/Father’s Day posts, no birthday posts, no anniversary posts, and no status on anything that would indicate they were currently together. Both of their information on Facebook didn’t mention each other at all. No “In a relationship with _” on either of the Facebook pages. And scrolling way back on the Baby Mama’s Page, I could see that years ago when they WERE together, those classic couple posts were frequent. So, I took those clues and decided that he was telling the truth. BIG mistake.
So, as evident by the title here, we end up engaging in a relationship. After a few months, after many long discussions about how I wanted ”my first” to be with someone who loved me, our relationship became sexual. I kept it a secret, not for fear that I was the “other woman”, but because until I got the promotion of manager myself, he could lose his job. And I could lose what I was working hard to build.
He gave me no reason to think we were hiding our relationship because he was in another one… until much later down the line when it felt like too late.
This man was very emotionally abusive. And while he never put a hand on me, he often slammed doors, punched walls, screamed. Obviously, it never started that way but it was bad. Bad enough that he actually was later on forced to move locations because the General Manager did not want him in her location any longer.
We continued the relationship after he moved locations. And he was now working at the location it looked like I would be doing my Manager Training at. I had to wait until I was 21 to get the big promotion, but I had already put in a lot of leeway learning with other managers as well. I was dedicated, not only to the job, but to him as well, even with the mental and emotional abuse plus the fear of the possible physical abuse.
Things drastically changed when I noticed him being inconsistent. Since he was at a new location, I felt a little more confident in our relationship. Atleast in the fact that we could be “friends” outside of work without a lot of pushback. Now that he wasn’t directly my boss, it might still be an odd gray area, but he technically couldn’t be fired. And after pushing HARD and being confused as to why he was being weird about it…he told me he was, in fact, still dating his Baby Mama.
Obviously, I was devastated and disgusted. And I fully aknowledge I should have left him right then and there. But to be honest? I was scared. I felt confused by his actions and his words not lining up… and at 19, I was so easily fooled by him saying he loved me. Things like “I want to marry you” and “I’m going to do everything I can to make this work.” His biggest one was that he loved his kids so much he was terrified of what would happen if he left. I’ll admit I was also scared. This man terrified me with his aggression at times, but for some reason I was still in love.
A few weeks after that I found out I was pregnant. And I was terrified. When I told him he was immediately fuming and aggressive. He told me it was all my fault and I wanted to ruin his life. Not only that but what would happen to his career? My budding one I was working so hard towards? What would everyone say? A teen mistress pregnant by her boss? He threw all of these questions at me faster than I could think.
I begged to just give me time to think. That I loved this little one growing inside of me. But he told me I had better just get rid of it.
I was so afraid that I remember that I gave my sister my location and told her that if I wasn’t back by a certain time, it was because he had killed me.
With much pressure from him, I went through with a termination I did not want.
I stayed for three months afterwards. The trauma bond was painful. And with it being so secretive, I felt I had no one else to turn to mourn. No one during the most painful event of my life. And through it all, a weird fucked up part of me still loved him. So, as much as I hate admitting it… I stayed.
It took 3 months to gather my courage, break that trauma bond and leave. (Partially due to a good friend - who is now my long time boyfriend and soon to be fiance.)
It took a few months after that AND me leaving the company to talk to the BabyMama. She admitted to me that he’s done this multiple times before, has gotten another woman pregnant before her, and that he’s never really been faithful. She stayed with him and continued to have more children with him. It’s been 2 years since I’ve told her. During that time I’ve gotten many texts, drunk calls, and an odd mix of hateful messages and then apologies following them. I even had an exchange with her sister (who works at the same company) saying she herself went through a similar situation to mine of being a mistress but that “I was just jealous of BabyMama because at the end of the day her sister won” or something like that.
I guess after kid #3 she just recently left him, friended me on all social media and has wanted to talk more frequently, and she even asked for advice on leaving him. Even now, I still get odd texts here and there, a call from her when she’s drunk, etc.
I definitely am not innocent in this. I too have said things I regret, and obviously done things I regret as well. I’ve started to recently speak up on my experience to deal with some of the trauma instead of just keeping it buried. Some people say I’m just another victim of him and others insist I’m just a straight up awful person, especially because I didn’t “fight hard enough” to keep my baby and if I actually wanted to go through with the pregnancy I just should have.
I wanted to ask here because it’s easier to get a truthful answer sometimes from strangers who have no personal connection to the people being discussed. And this has consumed my life for close to 3 years now… so yeah. AITA?