Disable vampire wars to zynga

Hey everyone,
I recently discovered a potential exploit that seems to be abusing so called newbie battles. This appears to be primarily used by Xbox players in Arcade Air Battles (AAB), Arcade Ground Battles (AGB), and Arcade Ship Battles (ASB).
Under the War Thunder website (https://warthunder.com/en/tournament/replay/), the "Newbie Battle" tab is supposed to feature matches between new players. However, some players are exploiting a matchmaking mechanic.
Here's how it works: Xbox players disable crossplay, then queue up with similar BR vehicles at the same time. By waiting until the 10-minute mark, the game fills the remaining slots with AI bots, creating a lobby with mostly (or entirely) AI opponents. This has also been observed on PC, with players disabling EasyAntiCheat (EAC) and queuing on the South American (SA) server to achieve the same result.
Based on several replays I've watched, this exploit seems more prevalent among Xbox players. However, I've also seen some PC players using a similar method.
In these bot matches, players from both teams often share capture points and farm kills on the AI to inflate their scores.
Here's an Ground Arcade Battle example;
Ground Arcade Battle 2 players rest AI Bots
One of those players Level 100
His Service Record.. 2,5k Arcade Games in only the T-34-57
Here's an Air Arcade Battle example;
Air Arcade Battle 2 players rest AI Bots
One of those players again Level 100
This exploit offers an easy way to grind not only tech trees and modules but also score-based events.
There was an older forum thread on this topic (https://forum.warthunder.com/t/exploitation-of-the-newbie-battle-system-occurring/17091). While it's unclear if this exploit has been addressed by the developers, it appears players are still using it.
Please feel free to comment if I'm mistaken about anything. I'd be happy to correct any false statements that I've made here.

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To anyone getting sick of standard and not wanting to dip your toes into Brawl. I HIGHLY suggest giving it a go for a nice refresh from the current forever meta. Sure you're going to get some decks that are made up of the best combos there are but the variety is quite large.
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Commander
1 Dina, Soul Steeper (MUL) 102
Deck
1 Curse of Leeches (MID) 94
11 Swamp (DMU) 279
11 Forest (DMU) 281
1 Bastion of Remembrance (IKO) 73
1 Vraan, Executioner Thane (ONE) 114
1 Graveyard Trespasser (MID) 104
1 Gumdrop Poisoner (WOE) 93
1 Sedgemoor Witch (STX) 86
1 Sheoldred, the Apocalypse (DMU) 107
1 Marauding Blight-Priest (ZNR) 112
1 Sorin the Mirthless (VOW) 131
1 Prosperous Innkeeper (HBG) 221
1 Pest Summoning (STX) 211
1 Deathless Knight (ELD) 208
1 The Great Henge (ELD) 161
1 Ravenous Squirrel (MH2) 211
1 Witherbloom Apprentice (STX) 247
1 Tend the Pests (STX) 242
1 Blood Researcher (STX) 166
1 Moldervine Reclamation (M20) 214
1 Witherbloom Pledgemage (STX) 249
1 Vraska, Golgari Queen (GRN) 213
1 Skyfisher Spider (BRO) 221
1 Swarm Guildmage (GRN) 201
1 Gala Greeters (SNC) 148
1 Inscription of Abundance (ZNR) 186
1 A-Haywire Mite (BRO) 199
1 Polluted Bonds (WOT) 34
1 Vein Ripper (MKM) 110
1 Mortality Spear (STX) 207
1 Fatal Push (KLR) 84
1 Bloodchief's Thirst (ZNR) 94
1 Go for the Throat (BRO) 102
1 Power Word Kill (AFR) 114
1 Glissa Sunslayer (ONE) 202
1 Binding the Old Gods (KHM) 206
1 Putrefy (STA) 63
1 Deathsprout (WAR) 189
1 Vraska, Relic Seeker (XLN) 232
1 Hero's Downfall (VOW) 120
1 Cankerbloom (ONE) 161
1 Sheoldred (MOM) 125
1 Evolved Sleeper (DMU) 93
1 Deadly Dispute (HBG) 150
1 Village Rites (STA) 35
1 Vampiric Rites (WOT) 37
1 Morbid Opportunist (MID) 113
1 Mask of Griselbrand (MID) 111
1 Preacher of the Schism (LCI) 113
1 Invoke Despair (NEO) 101
1 Werewolf Pack Leader (AFR) 211
1 Mosswood Dreadknight (WOE) 231
1 Tribute to the World Tree (MOM) 211
1 Elder Gargaroth (M21) 179
1 Toski, Bearer of Secrets (KHM) 197
1 Garruk's Uprising (WOT) 53
1 Gitrog, Horror of Zhava (Y22) 58
1 Battle Mammoth (KHM) 160
1 Boseiju, Who Endures (NEO) 266
1 Gate of the Black Dragon (HBG) 77
1 Gate to Manorborn (HBG) 78
1 Takenuma, Abandoned Mire (NEO) 278
1 Lair of the Hydra (AFR) 259
1 Hive of the Eye Tyrant (AFR) 258
1 Overgrown Tomb (GRN) 253
1 Necroblossom Snarl (STX) 269
1 Restless Cottage (WOE) 258
1 Blooming Marsh (OTJ) 266
1 Woodland Cemetery (DAR) 248
1 Darkbore Pathway (KHM) 254
1 Deathcap Glade (VOW) 261
1 Command Tower (ANB) 118
1 Aclazotz, Deepest Betrayal (LCI) 88
1 Jungle Hollow (M21) 247
1 Festering Gulch (OTJ) 257
1 Haunted Mire (DMU) 248
1 Llanowar Wastes (BRO) 264
1 A-Blood Artist (JMP) 206
1 Gray Merchant of Asphodel (THB) 99
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I want to share a overview/introduction to my fictional universe that I've been slowly building overtime. I've unfortunately fallen into eternal world building hell where I build far more than I write but at least I thoroughly enjoy it. What I mostly want from this post is to see if the wild amalgamation that is my universe is at least on a surface level "Coherent". I'll answer any questions best I can.
Disclaimer: the pictures shown in the character summaries are not mine and are shown for concept art purposes. These character summaries are taken from across the JoeVerse universe.
Notes: Some information is purposely left vague due to the requirement of story details and I tried to simply the explanations. It may see very unorganized but I created a continuity timeline to help keep track of the verse.
I also created detailed guides for the many Stories, Races/Species, Factions, Locations and Dear God hundreds of Character profiles. Speaking of characters, I really enjoy casual power scaling of fictional characters etc, so when scaling my own universe I exclusively reference the Vs Battle Wiki Tiering system. It is undeniably superb I recommend everyone at least check it out https://vsbattles.fandom.com/wiki/Tiering_System?so=search
Here is what a somewhat completed character profile would look like. https://docs.google.com/document/d/12KilbOVt5RFYg3IckKOYiLPt_UDjrBo5/edit?usp=drivesdk&ouid=111896033102767588703&rtpof=true&sd=true
Lastly, I agree the name of my verse is terrible, it is a placeholder, I will also be sharing a Fun Facts towards the bottom for shits & gigs.
Introduction:
Welcome to the JoeVerse(Name Pending), a long time literary project that acts as both homage to what I love as well as a deep-dive into my creative mind. The JoeVerse is a fictional "Shared Universe" where a large number of characters, locations and stories created primarily by myself and in collaboration with others take place. The JoeVerse is depicted as existing within a large "Multiverse" consisting of a number of separate & distinct universes, all of which help make up the JoeVerse Multiverse.
The most crucial aspect of the JoeVerse Multiverse is that it also incorporates a large number of genres from all major science fiction and fantasy concepts, such as how aliens, gods, magic, mythology, cosmic beings, parallel universes, interstellar travel and extremely advanced human-developed technology all exist prominently throughout the Multiverse.
The JoeVerse primarily was created to express my love for "Action" and the many forms it comes in. For example the many pieces of media entertainment I consumed as a child. e.g Cartoons, Comics, Anime, Books, Video Games, Martial arts, Music, Movies, etc) all strongly and directly influenced the creation of the JoeVerse. The JoeVerse's many stories primarily focus on the aspects I like about these pieces of entertainment such as Action, Characters, Power-Scaling, Continuity, Worldbuilding and Paying Homage to these oh so cherished pieces of media.
)))JoeVerse Prime: At the heart of this multiverse lies the mainstream continuity, which is known canonically as "JoeVerse Prime". JoeVerse Prime is based on a fictitious take on the real-world. For example, Earth found within the JoeVerse Prime has mostly all the features of the real one: same countries, same public personalities (politicians, movie stars, etc.), same historical events (such as World War II, the Cold War), and so on; however, it also contains many other fictional elements, such as new geographical locations, political organizations and a number of new & different historical events.
Corners & Sub-Corners:(Re-read if needed) The JoeVerse Prime is divided into four separate major settings of distinct & “Broad '' genres known as "Corners". The four respective Corners are Earth, Intergalactic, the Naatherlands and the Interdimensional. All Corners house minor settings of typically more “Focused” genres & stories known as "Sub-corners". The Corners and their respective Sub-corners are liable to "Crossover" and even connect with one another.
Four Corners explained:
)Earth: Starting with "Earth", home to an abundance of "Action & Adventure" series featuring primarily humanity through various times in history (I.e stories can take place anywhere from Ancient times all the way to the Modern era and beyond).The majority of stories told on Earth feature subjects & characters such as war, criminals, detectives, espionage, politics, assassins, soldiers, super soldiers, spies, mutants, zombies, magic, warriors, martial artists and then some.
There are also Earth's five sub-corners, starting with the "Underworld", home to the stories of "Urban Fantasy" about the supernatural & often cruel world of Vampires, Gargoyles, Lycans and much more all vying for survival and power while living just under the periphery of human civilization. The Underworld explores the supernatural civilization that has co-existed alongside humanity since ancient times.
Then the second Sub-corner, the "Holy War", a myriad of stories using lore based on the many “Mythologies & Folklore” of various human cultures, these stories follow the secret, ancient, bloody war of the Celestial Church. The Celestial Church is a 2000 year old clandestine organization of holy; warriors, soldiers, mages, knights, nuns, monks and more gathered from the many religions & cultures from around the globe to be the stalwart shield & sharpened blade against the supernatural, the unending swathes of powerful demons attempting to invade Earth and the unspeakable evil entities from alternate dimensions all of which has threatened humanity since it's conception.
Then the "West Coast Tales", a dramatic & grounded anthology series based in and around the West Coast of America. In every story we follow new characters in vastly different situations in life as they deal with family, drama, violence, romance, finances, sickness, coming of age, natural disasters, etc.
Then, the "Virtual World", a video game-like dimension that is home to various "LitRPG" focused stories. The Virtual World is directly connected to Earth via the highly popular, full-body capsule operated VRMMO known as the T.B.G system(Name pending). The Virtual world naturally houses the concept of "Gaming" thus it converts anything that enters it into data that follows its unique laws of reality and thus it has NPCs, Boss fights, Exp, Quest, Stats, H.U.Ds, Builds, Classes, etc.
Finally, the "Kaijin conflict" is the "Kaiju genre" focused storyline about the international conflict between the South Korean based Iskandar Industries with a human mutant sub-species known as the Kaijin. The Kaijin have superhuman abilities and are liable to become animalistic and go on a rampage; they also have the ability to transform into giant destructive monsters known as Kaijus.
)Naatherlands: The next Corner, the "Naatherlands", a large somber dimension that is home to the land of the "Supernatural & the Macabre". With it having stories of Vampires, Lycans, Gremlins, Gargoyles, Witches & Warlocks, horrific wildlife & flora and warring factions led by barbaric warlords. There is also varying levels of industrialized magic-based technology all in the backdrop of a Victorian era-esque(Gaslamp) setting.
And it's singular sub-corner the "Court of Blood", a "Political" focused series that shows the inner workings of the cunning, devious and often blood thirsty motives and actions of the royal members and leading factions of the upper echelon of the Naatherlands as they go about the cruel game of politics.
)Intergalactic: Third Corner, the "Intergalactic" is the setting encompassing the vast Cosmos of which Earth is a part of. The Intergalactic is home to various "Sci-fi" stories full of aliens, robots, artificial intelligence, spacecrafts, advanced and futuristic weapons & technology, interstellar bounty hunters, psychic power wielding warriors as well as galaxy spanning empires and Interstellar warfare.
Its first Sub-corner, "The War of Order & Chaos" is a "Mecha" inspired set of stories about the eternal struggle across the known universe between the immensely powerful chosen warriors of Order & Chaos known as the "Exuu'd". The Exuu’d are random individuals chosen from around the cosmos, if Chaos they are made to spread destruction, misery & death, if Order they are made to spread salvation, love & positivity. For the side of Chaos an Exuu’d can be criminals, scumbags or even prolific serial killers, for Order the Exuu’ds can be lawmen, samaritans or even average civilians. Regardless of origin the Exuu'd all fight each other for the very balance of the Cosmos. They are also gifted the powerful, sentient mechanized beings known as the Exxoms(Mechas) to assist in their endeavors. Exxoms all have unique designs, personalities and weapons & abilities.
Its second Sub-corner "Aon", a "Sword and Planet" inspired storyline, planet and accompanying solar system. The Aon system is locked outside of time & reality and for unknown reasons travelers from the Intergalactic, Interdimensional and even across time get pulled into the mysterious system by an unknown force. Since being secluded by conventional time both the inhabitants & technology have progressed in a way that there are varying levels of technology. There are crude medieval swords & armor as well as lasers, bolters, throwers and other advanced energy weapons. All inhabitants of Aon regardless of age and race are magically kept in their prime age & appearance. There is also a special & powerful magic known as "Laasa", that only women can harness and use. This has led to the majority of the system being ruled or fought over by factions of women led armies and warriors.
)Interdimensional: Lastly, the "Interdimensional", a catch-all term referring to the nigh-infinite Dimensions that make up the JoeVerse Prime. The Interdimensional is home to many genre blending stories of action, fantasy, science fiction and adventure all in the backdrop of numerous and radically different settings. This corner is populated by a myriad of exotic and powerful races such as the Angels of Heaven, the Demons of Hell, the reality warping Mymths, the cosmic beings known as the Balancers, the biologically altered insectoid empire known as the Urrglom, the humanoid Avian warriors known as the Harrpen, the technologically advanced bloodthirsty androids the Praeoids and much more.
It's first Sub-corner the "Collegium Historia", an “informational” adventure series about an interdimensional group of like minded Scholars, Zoologist, Historians, Explorers and Warriors that work towards the detailed exploration & documentation of the untold number of dimensions and the species & culture they may hold. With the group being led by the renowned, cantankerous explorer and swordsman Scuto Magnus.
Then it's second Sub-corner "The Fantastical Land of ORBIS"(Name pending), a standalone "High-fantasy" world full of adventure, danger, magic and awe. With ORBIS being an immense landmass the size of Earth. ORBIS is also full of creatures & beings such as Orcs, Elves, Dwarves, Dragons and so much more. There are also a slew of fantasy iterations of medieval humans cultures e.g Daiyomondo Empire(Feudal Japan), Gyellhaer(Viking Age Scandanavia), Kingdom of Stanum(Chivalric Knight era Europe) and the Shou Chongtu Empire(Warring States period China).
JoeVerse Fun Facts:
Shared Universe definition: A Shared universe is a fictional universe in which multiple independently created works are set. One or more authors may contribute works to a shared universe. The works within the universe may share characters and other story elements, with or without continuity.(For more detail please check the official Shared Universe Wikipedia. (https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shared_universe)
The concept of the “Corners & Sub-corners" are inspired by and based on the genre, character & location organization of Marvel and DC Comics.
Non-Canonically, the characters Cole Xaiver, Aiden Steel and Joseph were the first JoeVerse characters ever created in that order. With each of these characters being made to embody an aspect of the aforementioned media entertainment, Cole (Western media & concepts), Aiden (Eastern (Anime) media & concepts), Joseph(a mixture of both).
The JoeVerse Multiverse is strongly inspired by and to some extent based on fictional works such as, the Marvel universe from Marvel Comics, the DC universe from DC Comics, the Image Universe from Image Comics, Star Wars from George Lucas, the Halo series from Bungie, the Dragon Age series from Bioware, the Borderlands series from Gearbox Software, the Godzilla series by Toho, the Resident Evil series by Capcom, the Gears of War series by (Cliff Bleszinski) Epic Games, the Skyrim & Fallout series by Bethesda, the Call of Duty series by Activision, the Metal Gear(Big Boss) series by Hideo Kojima, One Piece by Eiichiro Oda, the Spawn series by Seth McFarlane, Dragon Ball Z by Akira Toriyama, Overgeared by Park Saenal, Solo leveling by Chugong, Sword Art Online by Reki Kawahara, Psycho Pass by Gen Ubrobochi, the Elex series by Piranha Bytes, A Song of Ice and Fire/Game of Thrones by George R.R Martin, Starship Troopers series by Paul Verhoeven, Avatar by Nickelodeon, Samurai Jack by Genndy Tartakovsky, Ben 10 by Man of action, Bakugan by TMS, Kingdom by Yasuhisa Hara, One Punch Man by One, the Nasuverse/Type-Moon universe by Type-Moon, Ready Player One by Ernest Cline, RWBY by Rooster Teeth, the Tank girl series by Deadline, the Warhammer 40k universe by Games workshop, Street Fighter from Capcom, Mortal Kombat from Midway Games, the Transformers series by Hasbro, the Gundam series by Yoshiyuki Tomino, the Matrix by the Wachowskis, James Cameron's Avatar by James Cameron, Mad Max by George Miller, Fist of the North Star by Buronson, literally all Zombie Media in general and much much more.

It wasn't long after cecession of Skyrim from the Empire following the assassination of Titus Mede II did the newly crowned Grimvor find himself faced with his greatest challenge: a famed warrior clad in Ebony known across Tamriel for his heroic. There was a time when Grimvor dreaded the day they would eventually cross blades. But much had changed since his days as a mere chief. Cursed by the blood of Harkon, bloodied in war against the Stormcloak rebellion, and re-forged in the fires of the World-Eater, Alduin, the Orc emerged from each trial ever stronger. Revered and feared as the Dragonscar King, it was only natural Ebony Warrior would deem him as his final challenge.
Proposing a duel to the death at the summit of the Last Vigil, Grimvor accepted. Knowing that the Ebony Warrior sought the glories of Sovngarde, however, he elected for a more fitting setting for their final confrontation. By way of magic rather than death, the Ebony Warrior found himself at the Whale Bone Bridge, his goal of Sovngarde guarded not by Tsun, but by the Dragonborn himself. And so it was that the Ebony Warrior and Dragonscar King drew their blades. Their clash shook the halls of Shor as even the heavens of Aetherius were rent into a fearsome storm no mortal could withstand. Though the Ebony Warrior was a hero without equal, not even his mighty blade could strike a fatal wound against Grimvor, whose vampiric powers and martial prowess gave him the edge.
In the end, the Ebony Warrior found himself succumbing to fatigues of his own mortality. Bloody and exhausted, he fell to his knees in defeat, the immortal werewolf standing over him, spell crackling in hand. The Redguard bowed his head, ready to be obliterated into nothingness by the magic of the Archmage. But no fireball or lightning bolt came. In the end, what stopped his heart was Courage, a gift for having the bravery to challenge the greatest monster ever sired by Nirn. When he awoke from death, the Ebony Warrior found himself in the mead halls of Sovngarde, surrounded by the famous Nordic heroes he had aspired to be. Grimvor greeted him one final time, congratulating him on a battle well fought. His heart bursting with joy, the Ebony Warrior bid the Dragonscar King farewell as he returned to Tamriel to begin preparations for the upcoming war with the Dominion.

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Yeah, I know there must be so many posts about successful honour runs here already, but I'm kind of proud of myself, so I'm going to ramble on to anyone who may want to listen!
I'm not great at this game. BG3 is pretty far from what I normally play, but I knew I had to try it out after seeing the amazing reception. My only saving grace was that I already had some knowledge of D&D mechanics from watching a lot of actual play, and playing a bit myself. Even then, my first run was kind of a disaster; I didn't understand stealth, I didn't know what items or spells were good, and I went my entire first playthrough without ever discovering shared initiative. To top it off, I was playing a Wizard with shit charisma and did not know the power of Guidance/Friends/Enhance Ability. Needless to say, I had a pretty tough time even on Balanced.
But I still had a great time, which made me want to try Tactician next! I was getting my ass absolutely handed to me on Act I, so I buckled up and decided to research builds and try to understand the mechanics better, which led to a pretty smooth Tactician playthrough.
So by this point I figure, I might as well try Honour. But the thing is, I wasn't really serious about it? I was approaching it more like "yeah, I'm definitely going to suffer an embarrassing defeat in Act I, but I'm curious how far I can go, and if I lose I'll keep going in custom". I also wanted to try only having one save, because I admittedly have a hard time not savescumming and accepting different outcomes from what I'm used to.
I create my newest Tav, and figure if I'm going to do the game's super hard, punishing mode, I might as well go with my favorite class, Sorcerer. Luckily they're a great pick, since they're powerful and have good charisma.
https://preview.redd.it/ka4d4713p80d1.jpg?width=3840&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a8fc1ccfa8c3e19387e4c7de03e6856fac3ac9c9
Oh, no, he looks really cool. I'm kind of in love with him. I got pretty determined early on to not lose this character, and I think it genuinely helped motivate me to try my hardest.
To my shock, most things went much smoother than I expected. I came in convinced I wasn't even getting to Act II, and as I went along I started wondering "can I actually do this?".
Turns out, yes, I could! I never expected to beat Honour Mode at all, let alone on my first try! I know it's not that difficult when you know what you're doing, but the thing is, I don't super know what I'm doing to this day, and there was actually a lot more wiggle room than I thought there would be. I did not have to resort to things like barrelmancy, doing the bag trick on vendors or leaving a backup party member at camp at any point, and only had to flee from fights once or twice (I did, however, rob Withers blind and snipe Grym from afar - no shame). In general, I tried my best to use the least amount of "cheesing" I could (except, once again, Grym, because fuck that) and it was more forgiving at times than I expected (I was filled with hubris at one point and fucked the Balthazar fight up big time, through 100% fault of my own, and it was still ok in the end. Close call though, damn).
At the same time, some of the worst moments came from places I would have never expected! My absolute closest call, where everyone died except my character, who was able to make a lucky escape to camp and revive everyone else, was to the undead in the Mountain Pass, of all things. Ghouls can fuck you up, as it turns out! You cannot underestimate anything.
This was also the first playthrough where I made use of the worm, and boy, I'm never passing it up again. I'll be slurping up all the tadpoles in the future. Luckily I also got through the zaith'isk, so I had that bonus action black hole, baby (though it took me a bit to learn to use it to its full potential).
I was also determined to help all of my companions, and switch my party up regularly, so I knew I wanted to do some optional quests like Cazador, Viconia and Ansur. More importantly, I refused to blow Gale up. I just can't do that to him, but to make matters worse I was romancing him this playthrough. So I was pissing myself at the prospect of fighting the Netherbrain. And wow, that was so close.
I went to the final fight with myself as a draconic fire sorcerer with one level in wizard (Artistry of War. Also, I thought it was fun for roleplay reasons, since I was smooching my favorite wizard), Gale as a full evocation wizard, Karlach as a throwserker and Shadowheart as a tempest cleric.
Now, things went pretty smoothly on top of the brain. I baited the dragon's fire breath with a Fire Myrmidon familiar, made short work of the mindflayers, and was able to open the portal pretty quickly without taking too many psychic beams directly to the brain. In the portal was where the problems started, though. I had made the questionable decision to take a speed potion as Shadowheart during the fight, which had her do a number on squid boy (The Emperor). Unfortunately, I managed to time it such that her lethargic status kicked in precisely on the first round of the Netherbrain fight (I didn't remember that Orpheus just got in the portal right away, I thought I'd have some time outside to prepare). So she got stuck outside the portal. "It's ok", I think, "I still have plenty of DPS, and Shadowheart has her Divine Intervention ready".
Well. I get myself, Orpheus and Gale in the portal and we start pummeling that brain with all the high level spells we still have, careful with the damage types and all that. I get Karlach in, only to realize in abject horror that I cannot throw things at the brain. What. Why. What the fuck. I start panicking because I did NOT expect this, and it meant Karlach was reduced from an absolute powerhouse to using her crappy crossbow (every other turn too, because piercing immunity). But it's fine. I've still got a trick up my sleeve. I manage to get Shadowheart in, finally. I use Divine Intervention. To my horror (again), and I still don't know why this happened, it does absolutely nothing. Zero damage. Nada. At this point I only have one turn left, not that many spell slots, and I'm sweating profusely. My heart is beating out my chest. I defeat it on the very last turn with a level 6 Call Lightning + channel divinity (thank Selûne for Shadowheart).
It was SO stressful, but it might be the most accomplished I've ever felt at a videogame trophy. I came so close to losing the whole thing right at the end, but I'm so glad I didn't just blow Gale up and got the full experience.
Me and my hot rizzard husband ^
I will definitely be doing this again. I may still be a shameless savescummer, but the game does feel very different when you can't cheat the dice to your favour. This run was still relatively unchanged from what I normally do (I was able to save Last Light, thankfully, and got the happy endings for most characters), but some things still went wrong. I lost the Owlbear cub (he didn't deaggro after the fight :/ I should have run away and come back, but instead I tried non-lethal knocking him out and he died anyway), couldn't save Us or Rolan and, most importantly, Bae'zel permadied in the late game (I told Orin about her mother to bypass the check, but I had no idea it was also a permadeath if the rescued character died during combat with her...). Even those few things changed the feel of the campaign, and it's encouraging me to embrace bad dice rolls more in future runs, even if they're not honour.
It's also fun to look back on the things that went wrong; some stuff that makes you desperate during the run is hilarious in hindsight. After Gortash's coronation, I went down into the prison to rescue Florrick, but left Astarion behind to try and rob the vendor Flaming Fist (I paid 500 gold to see her gear, I thought it would be good!). Big mistake. I thought getting caught would get me the same slap in the wrist as always, but apparently if the guards there catch you in the restricted area, it aggros the entirety of Wyrm's Fortress, including Gortash, permantently. Oops. Worse, I hadn't gotten into the Lower City yet. As far as I know, there's no other way in, so after I got my bearings, I had to teleport right into the middle of Wyrm's Rock and kill everyone there, including the still very active Steel Watch, at level 10. At the time I thought I had fucked up my entire run, but honestly it was kind of fun, and not that hard. Confusion is OP, was what I learned that day. Looking back, it's hysterical that the absolute dealbreaker for Gortash to decide he could not ally with me, after I had killed Ketheric and been a bitch to him during the entire coronation, was that my stupid vampire bff stole an apple from one of his guards.
Anyway, I'm very pleased and happy BG3 exists! Please tell me about fun shenanigans in your own attempts!

The next part is here! This episode is actually so long that I'm going to split it, so today, you're only getting part 1 of 3.
DISCLAIMERS (the same ones as before)
The point of this fanfiction is not to be a straight-up continuation of events with the same themes, intensity, and tone. If you go into it with those expectations, you are probably not going to like it. Rather, it’s supposed to be how I wish things went if these events were real life. The resolution you want for a real-life situation isn’t often the right choice for a show, but it can be incredibly beautiful. Think of what you’re about to read to be a separate show then.
Episode 1 of this fanfiction begins after the episode “2:00” (season 2 episode 4), so it replaces the episode “Cake” and the ones that follow it. This fanfiction expects you to have seen the entirety of seasons 1 and 2, so you should watch those first.
I myself bursting into the story here. The narrator and me are the same. While my character is like 95% real me, don’t take events about my life described here as facts. Some aspects of my life have been changed for the story. In my head, I started writing like an “alternate me” character in 2016, fulfilling a lot of the things that I wish I had in life, adding that to my story. I’m not really from Ukraine. I speak fluent Ukrainian as a foreign language, I started learning it in 2014, and I’ve talked to tons of people from there, but I’m not from Ukraine. I also don’t have as much money as I do in the story. I wish lmao.
If you want to post your own fanfiction, feel free to do so! To get your own post flair for your fanfic, and to appear in the side bar, please message me.
SEASON 2 EPISODE 6 - “ATTIC”
Part 1 (day 1)
So I'd be scheduled to work with Sean in the kitchen again, maybe a few days later, and Leanne would be "allowed" out of the attic again and have some time in the kitchen with me, like with Tobe in the real show (which Dorothy only started to allow because her strategy of pure torture and isolation wasn't working...). Julian would be there to watch us while Dorothy is at work (it would be around 10-11 AM) and Sean is shopping for new parts for the dishwasher.
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This time, we’d be told to cook something for Sean, following his recipe, maybe filling squid with a mix of mashed vegetables and spices.
This time, we’d be told to cook something for Sean, following his recipe, maybe filling squid with a mix of mashed vegetables and spices.
With Julian there, we’d be pretty limited in the things we can talk about, but the air would be noticeably lighter because of my gift for Leanne that neither of us can talk about yet, and you could tell on her face and especially in her eyes how much that has touched her. I’d imagine we’d talk about the stuff either of us likes to cook. She’d tell me that she doesn’t actually cook that much on her own. I’d be surprised and ask what she likes to eat, and she’d open one of the drawers and show me the cans upon cans of tomato soup and tell me she likes to just warm up a can every day and add some side dish on the plate, like toast, and something to drink, usually just water. She’d be a bit embarrassed about it because her experience is that people think that’s weird, but I’d tell her that I think that’s cute, and she could tell on my face that I mean it. I’d tell her how I eat obscene amounts of Ben & Jerry’s, even more so in the summer, and how her eating so much tomato soup reminds me of that, and I’d tell her how I drink sooo much Cola Zero that I’ve built up a lot of resistance to caffeine. “I can drink a whole two liter bottle, take my meds, and then go to bed just like that” (Side note: Coca Cola’s US website actually lists a two liter bottle among their sizes. Is that correct?) She’d be amazed and almost not believe me, but I’d show her my almost empty two-liter bottle in my backpack, with a little bit of condensed water from my fridge still on the outside, and she’d look at me with big eyes, bewildered and amazed, and we’d both chuckle before Julian tells us to stop. Quite confused, I’d ask why, like, what’s wrong with us laughing, and he’d tell us something like me not being there to have fun. I’d ask “Mister… What’s your surname?” - “Pearce” - “Do you have employees, Mister Pearce?” - “My father does, and I wouldn’t hire you anyway.” - “Oh, good, I wasn’t going to apply for a job with you in the first place. I can’t say I’m surprised that nobody wants to work for you.”
Leanne would be proud that I’m sticking it like that to Julian, and before he even has a chance to reply, she’d ask him “Could you please get us some wheat flour from the basement?” - “You want me to get you a fucking bottle, too?” - “Two would be nice.” - (Julian rolls his eyes) “I think I’d get two for myself, so I don’t lose it with you both!”, and he goes into the basement. As soon as Leanne can hear the door shut, she would suddenly tell me to fill up a bag she takes out from under the sink with ALL of the water bottles in the kitchen and a lot of the food in there that can be eaten as is and doesn't require cooking, and she’d tell me to do the same with my backpack, quietly go up to the attic, and hide there, so I can’t be seen if Julian comes upstairs, anticipating that she will be left alone in there again for days without food. I'd be confused at first, but she'd frantically beg me to do it immediately, and I'd trust her, I’d nod and say “okay” and do it. Julian would come back, and she'd pretend that I left. Julian would command her around again to finish up in the kitchen, and soon after, he'd lock her in the attic again, not knowing that I'm there.
I'd be shocked and really confused and concerned after realizing he just locked us in, and in that moment, she'd come to me, begging me on her knees to get her out of there, crying. At first, I’d just look around in shock with my jaw dropped, but then, I'd just hug her and just comfort her and let her know I'll do it. I'd feel so sorry for her... I wouldn’t know yet how long she’s been locked up for and why, but that wouldn’t matter for me to decide to help her. Really confused, I’d ask her to tell me what’s going on and why she’s locked up there. I’d be so shocked.
Once she’s calmed down enough after begging me to help her in full desperation, we’d sit down on the mattress. She’d tell me the full story - from the moment she first arrived at the Turners' in season 1 to now, including Dorothy’s brutal acts of violence and the pranks Julian and Sean played on her in season 1 to drive her out of the house, but she'd only mention the Church of Lesser Saints in passing as that's another really painful and complex topic she doesn't want to get into, and she wouldn't tell me about reanimating the doll yet because she knows how unbelievable the truth sounds (she tries not to let anyone know about her powers anyway). She'd stop several times while telling me all that because it's so hurtful, and I'd just comfort her and hug her . She’d cry out that it’s her fault and that she never should have come back. I’d just tell her that none of this is her fault and that she didn’t “come back” because she was taken against her will. “You can’t blame yourself for any of that. It’s not like they gave you a choice. It’s not your fault.” I’d tell her that she deserves none of the things they’ve done to her, I’d be absolutely horrified by them. She’d tell me about Sean’s visits to her, how he stopped coming upstairs after she was buried alive,
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and how he told her stories about Dorothy to try and make her (Leanne) feel sorry for her (Dorothy), so she can tell him where Jericho is. “I told him that Jericho died, and he just said nothing and stood up and got out after a while. He knows that there’s nothing I can do…” While she cries on my shoulder, I’d just comfort her, rubbing her back, and just express my absolute shock at the things she’s telling me and just try to make her feel at least a little bit better. I’d be like “Those are the worst things I’ve ever heard… He actually defends her? Like, he got you out of a hole in the ground and still told you that she’s ‘ not a bad person ’?” Leanne would nod. “Oh my God, what a piece of shit… What an absolute piece of shit… I’m so sorry you’re going through that… She’s trying to kill you, she’s starving you, she forces you to use the bucket, and… Oh my God, I’m so sorry…”
I’d just let her cry for a little while as I’m comforting her. I’d cry myself, just so shocked and horrified and scared. Unsure if that’s what she wants to do, she’d ask me if I’m going to call the police. I’d ask her how long she thinks we’ll be in here, and she’d say she doesn’t know. “Do you think someone will come up here before tonight?”, and she’d shake her head. “Mr. and Mrs. Turner don’t come up during the day anymore”. I’d suggest we wait until everyone’s asleep tonight and then try to find a way out. She’d say that she’s already tried everything, and I’d be like “Of course, but now, we got a lot more options because you’re not alone up here anyway. Like, okay, that’s gonna sound really hard, and it probably is, but I can try to step up on your shoulders and reach the skylight, stuff like that. If we can sneak out without them knowing, that’s probably a lot safer for you than calling the police while we’re unarmed and the Turners are not. And the last thing you need right now is another traumatic situation”. She’d look up at me, surprised that I’m even considering her well-being like this. “And if we don’t manage to get out tonight, we can still come up with a plan. What do you say?” And she’d smile and nod. I’d smile back and rub her back and say “Heeey, it’s gonna be alright. I’m getting you out of here! Until tonight, let’s just make the best of it!”, and she’d smile really hard at that, which would really touch me, seeing her smile like that because she has hope now, and she’d almost cry.
“So how did you like the cake?”, I’d randomly ask her. She’d look me directly in the eyes and tell me how delicious it was, full of joy, and show me the porcelain baby and say that she wants to keep it. I’d be like “I told you you’re special!” with a big smile and embrace her over the shoulders as she’s smiling back. She’d go “Thank you so much, Daria!”, and I’d be like “Of course!”
I’d then go “Hey, let’s eat some of this stuff! You must be starving!”, and we’d divide the food and water we got upstairs, dividing it into rations for three days (just to be sure…), making her ration for today a bit bigger because she hasn’t eaten in days. Because calling the police would create a dangerous situation for us (and it’s not like there are any lengths the Turners wouldn’t go to), we’d keep that as a last resort if we run out of food, “but let’s see what we can do tonight”. Among the food in my backpack would be every single can of tomato soup from the kitchen and a can opener 😊 Even though it’s cold, the soup would be like heaven to her! And I’d be like “Mmm! Hey, honestly, this is way better than I expected!” - “You like it?” - “Yeah! I thought it might be a bit dull, but there’s, like, what’s in here? I think there’s some celery, definitely some salt, and there are some chunkier bits, like, yeah, this is pretty good!” This is her comfort and favorite food, and because it’s such a rare choice, I don’t think anyone has ever told her that they like it (even the way Dorothy said “You do love that soup, don’t you?” in season 1 kinda communicated that she found it odd or weird),
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and she’d love hearing that! I’d ask her if she’s ever had Ben & Jerry’s, and she’d say she hasn’t. “I’m gonna give you some when we’re out of here, you’re gonna love it! My favorite flavor is Cookie Dough S’Wich Up, it’s like vanilla ice cream mixed with cookie dough, Oreo pieces, and brownie pieces, and also some chocolatey stuff mixed in with the vanilla in some spots!”, and that would sound great to her, she’d look forward to it. And I’d give her the rest of my Cola Zero. She’s probably had some before, but right now, she’d enjoy every bit of it.
I’d take out my two phones at some point (I actually do have two - an iPhone 15 Pro Max and a Samsung Galaxy S5 Mini lmao, but there was no 15 Pro Max at this time, so I’d have an iPhone 13 Pro Max here) and give her the Samsung because, like, we don’t really know for sure if anyone will come upstairs before tonight. I’d add my own number as a contact as well and add her as a contact on my iPhone under the number of the Samsung phone, so this way, she can call the police herself if the Turners find me upstairs with her, and the police can find out where I am if anything happens to me, and vice-versa.
After we’re done eating, knowing that we’re left with like ten to eleven hours until we can try to get out, we’d just sit there on the mattress saying nothing for a few seconds. Breaking the silence, I’d look around a bit and ask “Did the attic look the way it did when you… you know, or did you decorate it like this?”
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She’d say she did. “It’s beautiful, especially with the lights and stuff! You’ve got a good eye!”, and she’d smile a bit in embarrassment. I’d be like “Hey, I mean it! No need to be embarrassed!” and then say “Have you heard about, like, I don’t know what to call it, but some department stores have LED chains that you can stick to surfaces and control the color of with a remote. Most of them can even fade back and forth between colors. When we’re out of here, if you want, I can show you some. If you already like these lights, you’re gonna love them!”, and she’d smile and say that that sounds great! I’d show her some on my phone, and we’d imagine putting them up around us and talk about our ideas that we couldn’t realize because we obviously just wanna get out of there, and we’d talk about where we’re gonna go once we are. I’d suggest my place, a small rental house like twelve minutes by bike from there that’s technically in East Lansdowne, where we can stay at least for a little while, and she’d say she’d love to, but to please take her somewhere safe where the Turners can’t find her, somewhere far away, certainly not this close to them. I’d suggest going to a hotel, and that would sound great to her. We’ll probably have to go to my place first just to get my stuff, but yeah, we can go to a hotel from there. I’d again just reassure her that it’s gonna be alright.
She’d bring up that I told her I’ve spent an exchange year in California, and I’d say that yes, I’ve spent a year in San Diego and add “Still the best year of my life.” She’d ask why, and in her own words, she’d say that we talked so much about HER life, and she wants to know some more about me. I’d tell her I wasn’t the first one in my family to do a student exchange year. My sister went to Denmark from 2008 to 2009. “You got a sister?”, Leanne would ask, and I’d tell her I got two and ask about her family, and she’d tell me she’s an only child. I’d tell her my sisters moved out, or rather, they were forced out, in 2007 (I think) and 2012, so I was alone with my parents for several years, which felt a lot longer. “Time already flies by at twenty-three now”. And anyway, at the time, I thought my mother, who did most of the “parenting”, wanted to make me happy by letting me go abroad for a year, but in retrospect, it’s pretty obvious that she just wanted to be rid of me for a year, the same as when my sister went to Denmark. In retrospect, I remember how many arguments she and my sister had after she came back, which was partly because she definitely enjoyed being rid of her for a year, and then, she had to “deal” with her again. Leanne and me would just lock eyes, and I’d say “We both got terrible moms” and chuckle because of it while still having sad expressions on our faces.
I’d say “Anyway, my first choice were the US, and I got placed with a family in San Diego, California, or [sãn ˈd̪je.ɣ̞o] in Spanish”. Surprised, she’d ask “You speak Spanish, too??”, and I’d be like “Yeah, but not back then”, and in awe, she’d ask how many languages I speak. I’d answer her in each language before saying what language I was just speaking in - fluent Ukrainian, English, and R*ssian, rather good Spanish, some French and Dutch, and I’ve forgotten most of the Finnish and Azeri that I used to know, and I’d show her on Google Maps where that’s even spoken. She’d be really impressed ahaha, and a bit embarrassed about herself. I’d be like “Hey, it’s okay, you don’t need to compare yourself to anyone. Life’s not a competition”, and that would be a really important lesson in life for her, certainly very different from how she’s been taught to think before, especially by her mother and by the Turners. She seems pretty smart anyway, and when I tell her that, she’d be really surprised and flat-out say no, and I’d be like “You’re super resourceful in the kitchen, like, you can come up with solutions to problems pretty quickly, you’re great at remembering details, and you already know that you got lots of special skills! I’d say you’re pretty smart!”, and she’d smile again before making a sadder face and telling me that she never went to school because the Church never let her. I’d be like “That’s… That’s horrible. If you want, there are YouTube channels out there that maybe you can use to learn about all the stuff you missed out on”, and she’d nod a little with a bit of a smile. “Doesn’t say anything about your intelligence anyway. Credentials are only credentials, and school is pretty terrible at telling you how smart you are.”
Back on talking about California, I’d tell her about my year there from August 2014 to August 2015. While there, I didn’t even realize how free I was all of a sudden because I was away from my parents for the first long time in my life. I changed a lot in that year because I didn’t have them look over my shoulder and judge my every move anymore. My mother even took me by the hand outside up until I left for America, and suddenly, I could socialize with whomever I wanted, I could stay outside of the home after school, like, AT ALL, the family I was with, they actually cared, like, I could talk to them, I could just ask when I needed stuff, and they didn’t force their restrictive values and stuff on me, I could just be me, y’know? I’d tell her that my time in California was also the first time I had a girlfriend (a little hint there ahaha), which my parents would have gone ballistic over if they found out. Leanne would ask if her and me still speak, and I’d be like “No, not in a very long time”, and she’d ask about the family I stayed with in San Diego, if we’re still speaking, and I’d be like “Oh yeah, we do. They know about where I live now, about a lot of the things that’s happened in my life since 2015, and yeah. We actually talked just a few days ago.”
“If it’s not too personal”, I’d ask, “do you still talk to your parents?”, and she’d shake her head and say she doesn’t, and that she doesn’t wanna talk about that, maybe another day, and I’d be like “Okay” and respect that.
Back on talking about California, I’d say “ignorance is bliss”, so to come back from America a year later (we already moved to Kyiv City before I left for America), where nothing had changed, with how much I had changed in that year without realizing it, my home life became horrible as a result. I suddenly realized that my parents having loud arguments several times a week is NOT normal, and I began to realize that my mother probably never cared so much about me and my autism diagnosis (which I got in 2006) because she loved me, but because she used it to cash in benefits for it all these years. I have no idea how much she received, but one time, I saw the bank statements of my parents’ shared account, and there were the equivalent of like $8000-$9000 in there, while I only received the equivalent of like $30 per month as an allowance. For years, a health inspector would come by once a year to check up on me (mostly by just talking to my mother) for continuing the granting of the money she exploited me for, and for years, she'd taught me to act like - literally - the most mentally disabled person ever during those check-ups, either ignoring the inspector completely and acting like they're not there at all, or cowering up in a corner and pretending I'm terrified. This way, she cashed in the money that's granted for the care of people whose level of disability is comparable to that of late-stage dementia patients… While the government was already struggling financially! Living in a normal environment for a year really changed me, and I didn't notice it until I came back, when I finally stopped playing along, which would make everything worse for how I was treated, and just one month later was when my parents broke up and decided they wanted a divorce, which made my world crumble even more than it already had.
If I didn’t have feelings for her, I’d probably just call the police, but because I do like her in that way already, I’d just go the extra mile and comfort her and ask her if she can tell me what’s going on and stuff, assuring her that I’ll get her out of there.
If Leanne was a completely different person and I didn't have feelings for her, I'd probably call the police, but when you're slowly starting to fall in love with somebody, you just wanna make sure they're safe and be really careful about this. I haven't gotten to a lot of the stuff in my life yet because it's a long story, but with how Leanne and me both went through parental abuse, parents who worked really hard to make us feel horrible, strict religious abusive upbringings, horrible punishments when we left religion, feeling so left behind in our development because of our upbringings and struggling to succeed in the wider world as a result (it's so hard to actually find someone who understands what that's like. I feel so much comfort and understanding knowing that Leanne can really relate to this!), and falling into the traps of other people who used our lack of experience and agency, we both went through so many similar things in different ways, and I'd think we'd bond soooo much over that, knowing and feeling how much we both understand each other through the similar things we went through, that would bring both of us so much comfort! I think we'd not just be great, but great for each other, not only through our similar experiences, but also through our similar personalities and values, like how we're not fitting in with people. I love her peculiarities so much that people just call weird, like how she eats sooooo much canned tomato soup, how she arranges everything so tidily, like her plates or her food in the kitchen, or how she keeps bugs she tries to reanimate.
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Something I'd notice so easily at this point in the story already are the ADORABLE ways she reacts to things with her face and verbally! Some examples of what I mean by that are her short pauses before she speaks if she doesn't know how to answer right away,
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how she answers non-verbally sometimes like smiling and nodding instead of saying yes,
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the way she moves her eyes when something's awkward,
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that is SO INCREDIBLY CUTE, I adore it so much, it adds so much to her personality! I'd notice that so hard already and absolutely adore it!
And even though we wouldn't know much about each other yet, we'd already notice and really like these things about each other. And up there, when I tell her a little bit about my life like I just have, she'd really feel for me, too and comfort me back, and that is honestly so wonderful to imagine for me ❤️ She'd sit there next to me and listen a lot and look at me, and embrace me a little bit. She wouldn't really know how to do that yet because it's not something that people ever did for me or taught her to do for others until I just came along, but she'd now know how good that feels and do it for me, too, as best as she knows how, and that's the best thing about it!
Late that night, when we think that everyone else is almost certainly asleep, we'd try to find anything we can in the room to get through the door of the attic without being loud enough to wake anyone up (because then, we'd both be screwed), but there would be nothing we could do to get out right then and there without the Turners waking up. If there was, Leanne would have been long gone already. We’re both twigs lol, so we’d step up on each other’s shoulders to try and reach the skylight, but it would be too high. We’d look for long solid objects to try and reach the skylight, but anything we find wouldn’t be enough. I’d double-check the door to the other part of the attic, and it would be locked. Smashing any doors would wake everyone up at night and make them come upstairs during the day. The window is locked, and it’s way too high for a safe fall anyway. So we'd make plans. If, in three days, we're still locked up, we will call the police because we'd have no other choice, but if Sean or someone else comes in by then, Leanne would be ""given"" a few hours out of the attic again, and they would leave the attic unlocked like they did before
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because they'd think no one else is in there, and I would leave all the rations in the attic, sneak out of the attic, and leave through the basement. I'd leave the Samsung phone with her, so that she can reach me after I get out of there and prepare to get HER out of there. The plan would be for me to go home, taker a shower, type up everything I've seen into a PDF file addressed to the police, and send the PDF file to one of my internet friends (I actually have such a hard time making friends, another way in which Leanne and I are so similar and would really get each other). (I’m changing his name for this story for privacy reasons) I'd probably choose my friend Liam for this. I'd tell him that if I'm not back online telling him I'm safe in 24 hours, that he should then open the PDF file and call the Philadelphia police and read it all out to them. If I lived in America, I'd definitely get a gun lol. In Pennsylvania, I'd actually be able to just go buy one, I'd pass the requirements of the instant background checks. I'd get my gun, pack up everything we'd need for the next couple of weeks, and get a taxi to like one block away from the Turners', and with my gun for intimidation (considering that they're holding her hostage, this would probably fall under acting in defense of a third party), lock the Turners in the bathroom, have Leanne come downstairs, and leave with her, get to the taxi, and drive off, out of Philly, and be safe from the Turners for now.
But we'd leave the details for the next day. By this point, I'd need to tell her about some of my medical conditions, like night terrors, which usually fade during one's youth, but for me, they never did, so that she's prepared if they happen and doesn't get too freaked out, and so she knows that they're completely triggerless and can happen to me even after the best of days. I’d tell her that people don’t usually remember their night terrors at all, so she knows that I will act like nothing happened in the morning because I literally won't remember, it's only sometimes that I know that SOMETHING scary happened, but I rarely ever remember the night terrors themselves at all), and also so she knows to make sure I won't hurt myself or her if I have an episode, and also because it's a safety issue in this situation, to make sure that the Turners don't hear me, because if they did, we’d be screwed. And I'd have to tell her about my PTSD (because of the war in Ukraine, I’d tell her I’d lived through the first three days of it), which gives me nightmares, and to please wake me up if she notices I'm having those. We'd share the tiny mattress and covers that are up there, say good night, and fall asleep next to each other! Because I wouldn't have my meds, she'd fall asleep first, and I'd just look at her for a while 😊

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