I find it difficult to read some of the posts and comments in this sub. Venting and discussions are important, and it’s nice that people are feeling at home in a community. The issue comes with the echo chamber of ideas that are either far too negative, or take the blame away from themselves.
I know that is blunt, but please just here me out as I talk about some of the ideas spread, you are free to disagree and discuss.
“I’m a virgin/ugly due to genetics” there are very few that actually can use this, those with physical disabilities and/or deformities, and those with trauma from being bluntly told they are ugly as that is difficult on mental health. Those without these reasonings are most likely just saying this as a way to lessen accountability (in my opinion). There are many videos such as one by Think Before You Sleep on YouTube which show that almost all men aren’t born 2/10 ugly. Simple fixes to hairstyle, hygiene, fashion, and moisturizing products can make you look perfectly fine. It’s not just go to gym and build physique/lose weight. Even if you’re still ugly, some men that are conventionally unattractive still get laid simply due to having confidence, being funny, and being likable. Not saying it’s easy, takes time, and takes some luck to find the right person, but do not act like it was destined by birth. You still have choice.
Posts like “I’ll never get laid” coming from young teens. There is a distinction from those sharing feelings/venting and those giving up. Teens this young should not be giving up so soon as it’s normal and ok to be a virgin at these ages. I don’t blame the teens, their feelings of struggling are intensified from the pure hopelessness of some adults in this sub telling these young people to just live with it, or saying there is nothing you can do. The comments are almost never uplifting, and people that do give non-doomeuplifting advice get tons and tons of downvotes because nobody seems to want to hear someone trying to help?
Encouraging prostitution. I understand the desperation of some to get laid, which isn’t to be shamed, but this is so wrong. The majority of this sub lives in the US where prostitution is ILLEGAL. Prostitution also won’t solve the problem for so many people here. It’s voiced how many want to be laid for the love/intimacy that comes with it, and those people will be left unsatisfied. Those who just want to be laid are being subjected to an addiction trap, most people will not just hire one prostitute, no matter how you feel now you will want sex again, and some will spend far too much to get it. It is perfect for a small percent of people, but should not be encouraged on about 30% of posts.
I’m sorry if I am being too harsh, but it just makes me sad seeing people get trapped in a cycle of negativity like this. Really think, is this sub helping you improve your mental health? With societal pressures and loneliness being a virgin is difficult, but the way it’s treated here is not healthy. You’re free to disagree and you’re free to downvote this post to oblivion, I wish you all the best.

To preface: I love Chaos in 40k/30k. Its my favorite faction in the setting, and that will not change
Think, for a second if you will, about Chaos in 40k. It is, without a shadow of a doubt, my favorite overarching force and conglomerate of factions within the entire setting. Why? Well, as others have gone to great lengths to point out – both in and outside of the lore perspective and POV – Chaos is us; our thoughts, emotions, hopes, dreams and sins, dialed up to 11. You may start down the road to hell with noble intent, and you may even die on that same road nobly. Live long enough, however, and accrue too much infamy and corruption, you will court the favor of the Dark Gods, their neverborn, and a myriad of other warp entities, and it will damn you eternally.
With that being said, I think 40K Chaos, as it currently stands, gets absolutely shafted in one realm that AoS and, hell, even The Horus Heresy does better: the mysticism and esoterism surrounding corruption and ritual, as well as the variety in which the various “faces” of Chaos are presented.
Lets examine our “modern” 40k for a moment, shall we? It is often said that unsanctioned knowledge of the Chaos Gods most popular names - Khorne, Slaanesh, Tzeentch and Nurgle – is grounds for immediate execution and the purging of all known (and suspected) family and associates. Fair enough, you are invoking the names and the attention of four deities who’s desire is to add this universe to the infinite number of realms they’ve already subsumed with the warp in their Great Game. Even if that attention comes in the form of some undivided lesser daemon, maybe appearing as a shadowy figure in the rough shape of a human, that one daemon could spell utter doom for a Hive World of trillions.
Ok, yet, the “true” names of the Gods are subjective, aren’t they? Khar’neth, Nurgleth, Slaaneth, Tzaarneth. The more archaic, brutal sounding titles? She Who Thirsts, The Bloody Hunter, Lord of Ravens, and Grandfather Crow? Oftentimes, when Ecclesiarchal missions descend upon a world, especially feral planets, they encounter preexisting religions among the human populace. More often than not, via religious syncretism, the co-opt the tribal deities and spirits of these planets, supplanting them with Imperial Saints and directing total and unwavering devotion to a singular deity, the one true God Emperor of Mankind, in any face that may take. Yet, these planets are not populated by overt Chaos worshippers more often than not, are they? Some tribes, of course, may be deemed too barbaric and flirting with the Pantheon, and thus put to the sword. Yet, more often than not, they merely become new branches of the Imperial Creed.
Now, we all understand worship goes somewhere in the warp. More and more within the lore, the human emanations of faith is psychically reflected, applying the calculus of “structure” in the random, roiling seas of the empyrean. The Emperor of Mankind has, it would seem, indeed become The God Emperor of Mankind. Trillions-Quadrillions of humans, across millions of worlds, over ten thousand+ years, had supplemented The Emperor’s own singular psychic might into something that, if not truly divine under known definitions, warrants their re-examination.
So, where am I going with this? Well, the Chaos Gods operate under as many names and guises as there are planets and cultures within the galaxy. In the Screaming Vortex, whole tribes of warriors drench their blades in the vitae of their enemies in order to earn the favor of Baphtar (Khorne). Thagus Daravek, Abaddon’s main rival for the title of Warmaster during the formative years of the Black Legion, refers to Tzeentch as The Shifting Many. So on, and so on. In The Solar War, reference is made to the billions of mortal auxiliary soldiers on the side of The Warmaster’s Horde, cultists and Imperial Army alike, who “worship the same old gods, with different names” (paraphrasing off memory there, forgive me any inaccuracy).
Those forgotten and repressed faiths, surviving in the dark temples and cult lodges on the fringes of Imperial society, in ramshackle underhive temples or feral world sepulchers of painted rocks and skulls, formed much of the basis for esoterism and occult ritual much of 30k’s more nuanced and detailed approach to Chaos comes from. Maloghurst, burning incense and using Cthonian death coins as the catalyst for sorcerous ritual. The importance of ingredients like horsehair, or more mundane offerings like the tears of a virgin or the blood of a king, or how swords and other melee weaponry, through their symbolism, are far more effective at combatting daemons than conventional weaponry such as autoguns, lasrifles and bolters.
30k just did it better. The cosmology of Chaos – especially with the recent references of Aetheric Dominions – is so much more fleshed out, or to put it more aptly, diverse than in current 40k. Undivided Daemons running amok, ritual that isn’t just virgin’s blood being dumped on the bodies of psychic children daubed in the tears of those lashed 8-by-8 times to summon Borgathula, Eater of a Thousand Stars. The True Names of the Dark Gods are considered a privilege to know, and even then, what are they? Is it Khorne, or Khar’neth? Tzeentch or Tzen’eth? Etc etc..
If I were to take it a step further, I’d even argue Age of Sigmar, for its flaws, does so as well, with its Warcry Warbands (boo GW for discontinuing the bulk of those models, shame on you) and their lore providing some of the most interesting lore on just how certain groups can come to worship of their own aspects of Chaos. The Everflame? Coiled Ones? Great Gatherer? Supreme Predator? Tarantulos? Those are F****** awesome. Even in the Lord of the Endtimes novel, we get a superbly interesting depiction of a monk-like daemon prince, who’s followers offer their worship in caste-like tithes. The lowest of the mortal dregs in this prince’s fortress tithe their worship to more powerful warriors, who in turn pass their worship to mortal lieutenants and bound and subjugated daemons, who then offer their worship to the daemon prince, who is the only one allowed to offer the sum of their worship to the Dark Gods. Any others who do so are punished with death.
We get so much of that in 30k/Fantasy/AOS that just translates to so little in 40k, and I think that it’s a damn shame that more writers aren’t going that route
Or, are they?
Now, I understand that after 10,000 years and trillions/quadrillions of loyal Imperial souls imparting the significance of their own symbology into the warp, things may change. A bolter blessed by the local Ecclesiarch in incense and sprinkled with bone dust of holy men may be just as effective in combatting daemons as a sword these days, though I’d find that to be -slightly - lazy writing in context of time. Yet, I’d argue right now, certain writers are looking to The Horus Heresy for inspiration
We’ve had sprinklings of it throughout the decades. Balphomael, greater daemon of Chaos Undivided and a spirit of Faustian bargains, was the first reference we received in a while via FFG Dark Heresy supplements that Undivided Daemons were not simply retconned out of the setting. Then came Samus, first described as an undivided daemon, then assigned a “KHORNE” keyword, then a proto-daemon of The Dark King, and now once again undivided. Madail, Great Daemon and Herald of Undivided. Hell, from what I’ve recently read, even Malice was recently referenced as an entity of Chaos, still worshipped by the titularly named Sons of Malice as recently as BFGA 2. With that seems to be coming a re-examination from a small bit of writers, especially those who write Chaos well. I’ll cite examples such as the Fabius Bile trilogy, where it is acknowledged that the worship from the innumerable lines of mutants and new men spawned by Bile’s gene-tampering clings to him like a cloak, and “Pater Mutatis” is coalescing, or perhaps even already exists, as a chaotic entity within the warp. Vashtorr, Greater Daemon Undivided and Lord of the Soul Forge, has at least one warband who view him as a patron and focal point of worship, and he, as other daemon’s of sufficient power, offers them blessings and mutations in line with his sphere of influence. Yesugei, sealed away in the Blood Gorgon’s Cauldron of Blood, is their patron daemon, while the warband itself still venerates the Pantheon yet declare themselves free of the slavery to them other warbands and legions are bound to. Hell, somewhere in the warp, Madail still exists, Greater Daemon and Herald of Chaos Undivided
I think, as time goes on, many more writers are going to begin taking the nuanced, diverse approach to Chaos. I’d challenge the idea that Aetheric Dominions are a means of introducing future Chaos Gods to the setting, but rather that the five “open seats” or points on the octed star operate as contested spheres, planes of Chaos in which the big 4 all have stakes in, and thus those under which more powerful and, distinctly undivided entities can spawn and operate. With any luck, I believe even more diverse and interesting Chaos Cults may be featured, one’s whose beliefs don’t just boil down to “HARHARHAR I sip the blood of virgins from the skulls of my enemies in the name of my Dark Masters! Now bring me more heads to bash with my axe!” No, instead we’ll start seeing things like “The burning man comes, the head of a black wolf atop his ash-flecked molten form, and he commands me to spill the blood of the dishonorable… and there is none among this whole planet with honor aside from myself and my kin.”

I’ve seen some screenshots here and there of the fasting clock. I want to Downlaod one and am willing to buy an app if it has good features. I do like seeing the ones with what benefits you are getting during that window. Suggestions? Best paid or Best Free??

Got my exam coming up in three days. Can you give me some overlooked exam tips like-

1. Saving Running config in labs. (I heard otherwise you don't get the points in labs)
   
2. Not wasting more than 15 mins in labs.
   
3. Writing down subnetting table before time starts.
   

Please, feel free to share your experience and advice.

Selecting the right car wrecker & cash for car removal company can save you time, money, and hassle. Here are four useful tips to consider before making your choice:

1. Check for Licensing and Certification

• Why It's Important: Ensuring that the car wrecker is licensed and certified guarantees that they follow industry standards and regulations. This also means they are more likely to handle the disposal process in an environmentally friendly manner.
• What to Do: Ask the wrecker for their license number and any certifications they hold. Verify these with local authorities if necessary.

2. Evaluate Their Reputation

• Why It's Important: A reputable car wrecker will have a track record of satisfied customers and reliable service. This can provide peace of mind that your car will be handled properly and you will receive fair compensation.
• What to Do: Look for reviews and ratings online, ask for references, and check with the Better Business Bureau or similar organizations. Speak to previous customers if possible to get firsthand feedback.

3. Get Multiple Quotes

• Why It's Important: Different wreckers may offer varying amounts for your car based on their assessment and market demand. Getting multiple quotes ensures you receive a fair price.
• What to Do: Contact several car wreckers and provide them with details about your car, including its make, model, condition, and any damage. Compare the offers and choose the one that provides the best value.

4. Understand Their Process

• Why It's Important: Knowing how the car wrecker operates, from the initial quote to the final removal and payment, can help you avoid unexpected issues and ensure a smooth transaction.
• What to Do: Ask about their process for evaluation, pickup, and payment. Find out if there are any hidden fees, whether they offer free towing, and how quickly they can complete the transaction. Understanding these details can help you make an informed decision.

Conclusion

Choosing the right car wrecker involves more than just accepting the first offer you receive. By checking for licensing, evaluating reputation, getting multiple quotes, and understanding the process, you can ensure a smooth and beneficial experience. Take the time to do your research, and you'll be more likely to find a reliable wrecker who meets your needs.

Hey, my name is Ralph. I am 36, and I live in Florida. I travel for work though so I am all over the place and I travel full time. So that means I am not on any specific time zone, I sleep when I’m tired. As flight crew my work schedule can be 7 days a week, 365 days a year and holidays. I prefer it that way vs a traditional 9-5 Monday to Friday type job, no thanks. As flight crew I get to see the world and get paid for it. I truly love my job and what I do. I also get to live in Florida but still see all 4 seasons! I have been to 19 countries and growing!
I am a nerd. I love gaming. I have a PS5, gaming desktop, gaming laptop, switch OLED, etc. I am also an electronic music producer. I produce house, tech house, trance, techno, drum and bass, etc! It is just for fun!
I am looking for friends. I am VERY picky with who I respond to and make friends with. I am also looking for my best friend but that takes time and it just has to happen. I just need to click with someone. Someone who immediately gets my high level of sarcasm, etc.
If you think you can become friends with me or one day my bestie, message me! The bestie thing takes time, it just has to happen. But message me and let’s vibe!!! I am eventually though looking for my best friend. Someone who I can be friends with and get along with. Someone who gets me, and I get them, and we laugh, hang out one day and in general, and overall just an awesome best friend.
If you are fellow airline flight crew, feel free to message me too! It would be cool to talk!
I am looking for real life friends not just online! Message me! :)

I've been desperately unhappy with my life for a very long time. I don't know how to fix it, but I've been daydreaming about starting anew somewhere no one knows me.
For some context/background: life was perfect until I was 9 years old - then my parents divorced and my mum quickly started dating an abusive, alcoholic man whom I had to try and shield my siblings from (I'm the eldest of 5). At 13 I started getting depressive and hypomanic episodes, but received no help. At 14 I had a severe psychotic breakdown and my whole family has treated me differently ever since because I scared them. At 14 I was also r*aped and abused in every way by my ex for 2 years. I tried to end my life but it just made my family hate me more until they stopped caring about me entirely. I'm treated as a literal ghost: they pretend I don't exist. At 17 I began struggling with widespread pain and fatigue. At 19 I was finally diagnosed with bipolar and complex PTSD. I had to stay in a mental hospital for a month. At 20 I was finally diagnosed with ME/CFS. I started having severe seizures and was diagnosed with FND just after I turned 21. I cannot work, I cannot drive, I lost all my friends. I have very little money. I'm on strong medications and am mostly housebound, sometimes bedbound. I use a wheelchair and walking stick.
The only person I have is my boyfriend of almost 6 years now. He has pulled me from the road, he takes care of me when I have a seizure, he's the only good thing I have.
We have £2,000 in savings (which is a lot for us as I only have benefits and he works minimum wage and isn't great with money). We live with my (quite wealthy) dad and pay £500 a month, as well as all our own bills and food. My siblings have everything paid for them (my brother had 3 high end cars in a year, plus an £8,000 watch etc and more and doesn't have to work).
Due to my health, I don't think I could go abroad - but maybe a static caravan somewhere rural would be possible? A little place, where I could be myself and be free! I could wear whatever I want to. I could play music out loud. I wouldn't have to be so scared of seeing or hearing my family or conversing with them. I wouldn't have to pretend and act all the time. I wouldn't care what anyone thinks because they wouldn't be there! I want to know what it's like to be free. I don't want to di3 in the pathetic life I live now. I know running away won't change my disabilities, but my family have made me more unhappy than my disabilities ever could. If I d*ed, I truly don't think it'd be that big of a deal. An inconvenience, maybe, but nothing would change. I know it would crush my boyfriend though, and that's the only reason I've lasted so long...
He doesn't want to run away. He doesn't want to leave this room that we're renting from my dad at all. I can't keep going on like this, though. I'm physically and mentally trapped and I see no way out other than disappearing, one way or another. Maybe I could convince him somehow? He's done so much for me - everyone has told us how lucky I am to have anyone and how no one else would ever put up with me. Would it be too selfish for me to try and convince him to try this out?
Sorry for the ramble, thank you for reading.

Does anyone have a free US shipping code they're not using and would be willing to share? Thanks in advance!

Hey, my name is Ralph. I am 36, and I live in Florida. I travel for work though so I am all over the place and I travel full time. So that means I am not on any specific time zone, I sleep when I’m tired. As flight crew my work schedule can be 7 days a week, 365 days a year and holidays. I prefer it that way vs a traditional 9-5 Monday to Friday type job, no thanks. As flight crew I get to see the world and get paid for it. I truly love my job and what I do. I also get to live in Florida but still see all 4 seasons! I have been to 19 countries and growing!
I am a nerd. I love gaming. I have a PS5, gaming desktop, gaming laptop, switch OLED, etc. I am also an electronic music producer. I produce house, tech house, trance, techno, drum and bass, etc! It is just for fun!
I am looking for friends. I am VERY picky with who I respond to and make friends with. I am also looking for my best friend but that takes time and it just has to happen. I just need to click with someone. Someone who immediately gets my high level of sarcasm, etc.
If you think you can become friends with me or one day my bestie, message me! The bestie thing takes time, it just has to happen. But message me and let’s vibe!!! I am eventually though looking for my best friend. Someone who I can be friends with and get along with. Someone who gets me, and I get them, and we laugh, hang out one day and in general, and overall just an awesome best friend.
If you are fellow airline flight crew, feel free to message me too! It would be cool to talk!
I am looking for real life friends not just online! Message me! :)

Relisting and listing some new stuff again, everything is OBO feel free to make an offer. I have some more keyboards and some mice that are getting listed soon.

Item	Description	Price	Timestamps
Thinkpad X1 Carbon Gen 9 PENDING	i5 1145g7, 16gb RAM, 240gb SSD, Touchscreen. Has all the normal wear shiny keyboard and some cosmetic damage. No warranty left on the serial tag. No charger	$340 Shipped OBO	Timestamps
Thinkpad X1 Carbon Gen 9	i5 1135g7, 16gb RAM, 240gb SSD, 400 nit screen. Shiny keyboard, personal one i've been using got another T14 so no longer needed. Battery is in pretty good condition as well. Will be reset to Windows 11 upon before shipping. No charger	$350 Shipped OBO	Timestamps
Thinkpad X1 Carbon Gen 7	i7 8665u, 16gb RAM, 240gb SSD, 400 nit low power. Some marking on the screen from the keyboard, cosmetic wear. No charger	$210 Shipped OBO	Timestamps
Thinkpad E15 Gen 2	Ryzen 5 4500u, 16gb RAM, 240 gb SSD, Non touch. Heavy cosmetic damage on this, no charger	$170 Shipped OBO	Timestamps
Drop CTRL High Profile	Bought when originally launched, I believe it has holy pandas on it I will confirm if someone is interested. Have original box	$90 Shipped OBO	Timestamps

Taking care of your nails and skin isn't just about looking good—it's also about feeling great and staying healthy. Your skin, being the largest organ in your body, and your nails, though small, play vital roles in protecting you. Here's how to keep them in top shape.
Eat a Balanced Diet
Your skin reflects what you eat. A diet rich in fruits, vegetables, nuts, and seeds provides the vitamins and antioxidants your skin needs to glow. Foods high in vitamins A, C, and E, as well as zinc and omega-3 fatty acids, are particularly beneficial.
Protect Yourself from the Sun
Always use sunscreen with at least SPF 30, even on cloudy days. Sun exposure can cause premature aging, sunburn, and increase the risk of skin cancer. Make it a habit to protect your skin whenever you step outside.
Cleanse Regularly
Daily cleansing removes dirt, oil, and dead skin cells. Choose a gentle cleanser that matches your skin type to avoid stripping your skin of its natural oils.
Moisturize Daily
Moisturizing helps keep your skin hydrated and creates a barrier against environmental damage. Look for a moisturizer that suits your skin type and use it daily.
Say No to Smoking
Smoking accelerates skin aging and can cause wrinkles. It narrows the tiny blood vessels in the skin's outer layers, reducing blood flow and making your skin paler and more prone to damage.
Nail Care Essentials
Keep Nails Clean and Dry
Clean and dry nails are less likely to get infected. Regular cleaning helps prevent bacterial and fungal growth.
Trim Your Nails Regularly
Keep your nails trimmed to prevent problems like hangnails and tears. Use sharp manicure scissors or clippers, cut straight across, and round the tips slightly.
Moisturize Your Nails
Just like your skin, your nails need moisture. Use a good hand cream or nail oil to keep your nails and cuticles hydrated.
Avoid Biting Your Nails
Nail-biting can harm your nail bed and lead to infections. If you struggle with this habit, try using a bitter-tasting nail polish to discourage it.
Choose Gentle Nail Products
Harsh nail products can damage your nails. Opt for acetone-free polish removers and gentle nail polishes to keep your nails healthy.
Practice Good Hygiene
Cutting your cuticles can lead to infections, so it's better to gently push them back after a shower when they're soft.
Common Issues and Their Solutions
Dry Skin and Nails
Dryness can result from environmental factors, frequent washing, or lack of moisture. Use a humidifier at home, limit your bath time, and always apply moisturizer after washing.
Acne and Blemishes
Use non-comedogenic skincare products and keep your face clean to manage acne. Avoid touching your face frequently and consult a dermatologist if acne persists.
Nail Infections
Maintain good hygiene to prevent infections. Avoid sharing nail tools and seek medical advice if you notice redness, swelling, or pus around your nails.
Conclusion
Caring for your nails and skin is about more than just aesthetics—it's about your health. By staying hydrated, eating well, protecting your skin from the sun, and practicing good hygiene, you can achieve and maintain healthy, glowing skin and strong, beautiful nails. Remember, taking care of your skin and nails is an investment in your overall health and well-being.
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I counted up all the stars (whatever those things you get for beating rift levels are called) in the first rift and all of the ones I know you can get solo add up to around 87. Add in the ones you need Banana Guard for and that makes 99. The only other star that isn’t a “Bring another player with you into battle” challenge is on the first battle, the 1v1 with The Joker, that has one challenge stating to “Free your ally from a respawn bubble”. That stage doesn’t have a cpu ally by default, and I don’t know if there’s a perk or something I’m missing, but I assume that one also requires another player to get trapped in a bubble in the first place in order to get it.
Genuinely curious if I’m missing something here or somewhere because as far as I can tell, you just can’t get that star without another player. I’ll be real, I don’t really have anyone willing to play this game with me, much less go through the grind to do all of this through all the difficulties so I can unlock Agent Smith when he’s available. I’m willing to go through the grind because I genuinely enjoy this game, but I need to be able to actually do all of it.
Tl;dr: Why can’t I figure out how to unlock the next difficulty without another player? Am I stupid?

Anyone out there that can point me in the right direction. Let’s say I was to sell a business but I’m a minority shareholder. However the value of the buyout was to be split out more than the value of my shares. It’s my understanding that value reflective of my % is free of capital gain but any value attributed beyond my shares will get taxed?

I am NOT the Original Poster. That is u/Total_Cap_8129. She posted in AmItheAsshole
I added paragraph breaks for readability.

Do NOT comment on Original Posts. See rule 7. Latest update is 7 days old per the rules of this sub.

Mood Spoiler: sad but with good boundaries
Original Post: May 21, 2024
This is my first reddit post, throwaway. Also Englisch is not my first language.
My (53F) mother passed away 10 years ago and I inherited a few select items of jewellery from her. Those are things she cherished and wore often. I have been wearing her watch for the past 10 years, my sister (50F) holds a golden bracelet that she loves and there are three items left that me and my sister have been planning to give to my three daughters (20/18/18) to commemorate 10 years since her passing. They always knew this and were close to their gradma. There is also no quarrel about who gets what.
Enter my brother (48m) and his fiancée (38f) of two years. My brother is demanding one of the pieces for his future wife to wear. He claims we never involved him in any discussion as to what should happen to the pieces and we can’t just claim those to ourselves just because we are women. He says it’s very common for heirloom jewellery to be given to the daughter-in-law and he and his fiancée even cited Meghan Marke and Kate Middleton as examples.
Legally there is no case to be made, my mother left those items to me. I have politly declined their request explaining that I can’t let one of my daughters go without and that they were very close to their grandma while his fiancée did not know her. His fiancée is apparently distraught and claims we don’t see her as family. My father wants me to keep the items and give one to my brother so that all of my mom’s kids eventually get one item and I can do as I see fit with the rest. My sister kindly has offered up her bracelet.
I am torn. I don’t t want to antoganoize my brother and my sister-in law but I find my three daughters’ claim so much more valid. They have been looking forward to this for years. And I don’t want my sister to sacrifice her bracelet. If there were more pieces I would not hesitate to give something to her. It’s not a matter of money. I have offered other things out of my mom’s estate, they feel it’s not the same.
I am also taking into account that my brother was married to his first wife 10 years ago and despite having been close to my mother she got no jewellery either but was left two of my mothers’s watercolor drawings. I feel like my mother left those pieces to me with the intention of eventually passing them on to her granddaughters. Would she have subscribed to the „each child or each daughter plus daughter-in-law has to get a piece of jewellery“ logic she would have left something to my brother or his then-wife in the first place.
My daughters told me the would accept any decision I make but I feel it would be highly unfair to burden them with any involvement in the decision making. The choice is mine to make and I have to live with the consequences. According to my father they are debating to uninvite me from the wedding over this. I stand by my decision but It’s hard.. I was always on good terms with my brother and cordial with his fiancée.. so AITA?
Relevant Comments (OOP had over 100, so this is very narrowed down):
Commenter: OP, she doesn't want to feel closer to her new family, she wants to know that she can push your brother to get her what she wants, even at the expense of his relationship with all of you. It's a game she is playing now, before they get married, so she knows exactly how far she can push you all and what she can get her greedy hands on with a temper tantrum and some threats to exclude you all.
Tell your brother the legacy he received is two watercolor paintings his ex wife has, and he's welcome to chase her down for that if he feels so strongly about it. But your jewelry was a gift your grandmother gave to you, and it is staying with you until you give it to your daughters.
Friend, if you cave to your brother and SIL on this, you'll be handing shit over as long as their marriage lasts. NTA.

OOP: Wow.. thanks for the clarity and direct words. I am starting to feel I was in denial about how bad this really is.
It’s worth mentioning that my brother obviously received his own inheritance as well.
(to another commenter): Also he got a sizable inheritance back then and his wife got two original artworks.. those jewelry pieces are worth approximately $1000 each while my mother’s original artworks are valued $1000-$3000 (she was an illustrator) so the issue is really not me sitting on a $50,000 diamond ring while they received two worthless sketches.

Commenter: Your dad presumably still had items from his wife? He can give one of his treasures to her. You and your sister and your three daughters got one item each. Not up for renegotiation.

OOP: We already offered but she claims it must be jewelry so she can wear it on her wedding day.

Commenter: Since the brother and fiancee seem to want to make the decision, ask them which granddaughter they feel deserves to be deprived of her grandmother's memento, AND how they intend to compensate said daughter for her exclusion from grandmotherly keepsakes. Tell them you cannot in good conscience hand anything over to the fiancee unless they can give a reasonable answer to these questions.

OOP: My husband actually asked them that and their answer was they believe that the twins should share.. which is obviously not going to happen as long as I am here to prevent it.

Commenter: How does the SIL even know about the jewelry?

OOP: I planned to give it to my girls at a family dinner commemorating our mother’s birthday next month and gave everyone a heads up. That’s how she got to know.

Commenter: You have 3 daughters. Your mother left you 3 items. It's pretty self-explanatory. Your mother didn't have to spell it it out for you. She just left them with you for safekeeping. If that wasn't her intention, she would have given them to your dad. Plus your daughters had a personal relationship with your mom (THEIR grandmother).
You got the watch. Your sis got the bracelet. Your daughters get the other 3.

OOP: Thanks.. I feel exactly the same way. I can’t for the life of me see where my brother claims we should have involved him in any discussion concerning who gets what because in my view it’s absolutely clear who gets what. And since she left those things to me, it’s up to me to make the decision. She could’ve left them to anybody else, but she didn’t. What else am I going to do with three pieces when I have three daughters?

Commenter: Tell your brother to stick it. These are for your daughters / her bloodline. This is so entitled and ridiculous.

OOP: I actually don’t care so much about the bloodline thing. If my father were to die tomorrow and each of this children would get some beloved sentimental items I would be really pissed if my husband who is very close to him would not get anything. Plus, I really understand why she wants to have something to feel more connected to her new family, especially since she is estranged to her parents and won’t get anything from them to wear on her wedding day. The problem lies solely in the fact that I don’t have anything to give her without hurting other people. I will not prioritise her feelings above my daughters.

Commenter: Bet you the reason she is estranged from her parents is an eye opener if you ever find it out. Whatever she told you it was is BS.

OOP: I don’t know the reason, but I will admit the thought has crossed my mind. The fact that she is willing to blatantly ignore her nieces’ feelings and that wearing a piece of heirloom jewellery on her wedding day is more important to her than the girls’ connection to their beloved grandmother is a bit concerning to me.

Commenter: If she's trying to feel closer to your family, is there any jewelry that is yours or your sister's that could be given or loaned to her for her wedding day that isn't inherited from your mother?
Your sister and your daughters who actually knew and loved your mother should, of course, take precedence over someone who has only heard about her! NTA and your brother is being absurdly pushy.

OOP: We have now decided to pitch in together to buy something new for her to wear on her wedding day and have as a gift from the family. I hope she will accept this. I could also give her something from me as a loan but I feel buying something specifically for her would probably be better. It’s not that I feel she shouldn’t have anything and I would honestly offer to give her a piece if I had any spare pieces to give.

Commenter: NTA. Your brother is marrying a psycho. She’s never met your mother but is distraught that she can’t wear her dead MIL’s jewelry. You are correct, your mom left the jewelry to you and, as you stated, your mom didn’t even leave your brother’s wife (his ex) jewelry when she passed. Your brother and his fiancée are acting crazy entitled and you need to tell them no and that if they bring it up again you’ll have to excuse yourself from their presence. They are trying to bully you out of your daughters’ heirloom jewelry, their birthrites.

OOP: I can actually see why she would like to have something, we were all very close with mom and keep her memory alive and it’s tricky to enter into such a dynamic years later. I would give her something especially to wear on her wedding day (she is estranged from her parents) if I had anything to give but I can’t take away from my daughters to help her feel better.

Commenter: NTA - the items were left to you. No matter what happens in the future, your daughter's will be your daughter's. The same can't be said for your brothers fiance. That relationship could end, and then the jewelry wouldn't be part of the family anymore. If they were married when your mother passed, maybe I'd consider it, but they haven't tied the knot, so don't give her anything.

OOP: This has been brought up a lot but I feel I can’t in good conscience bring up the fact that their marriage might fail as an argument.

Commenter: NTA if your mom specifically left them to you. Y W B T A if you and your sister decided between yourselves to take all of the nice jewelry without giving any to brother. What about if/when he has daughters?

OOP: He was childless back than with no intention of starting a family and his first wife got an inheritance of her own and so did he. He was completely fine with us deciding what to do with the jewelry as neither him nor his ex wife were interested. The issue only came up with his fiancée recently. Had he voiced his objections ten years ago I would not have spent the last ten years preparing my daughters and the situation would be different. Also legally all items belong to me and I am under no obligation to share or discuss with anyone. I discussed with my sister because it seemed fitting.. again.. he was not interested.

Ask the first wife for paintings?
Asking first wife for her paintings might be an even harder no than the jewelry question honestly.. she received those paintings because she loved our mother and her art and she was a family member in her own right after replacing my mother as my disabled father’s full-time caretaker after my mother fell ill. I am not close to her anymore but I respect her and my mother‘s wishes enough to not hunt her down after seven years for what is legally and rightfully hers.
Update (Same Post): May 22, 2024 (Next Day)
Thank you all for your kind messages and advice, I would never have expected to get so valuable support and inside from strangers on the Internet. Thank you really from the bottom of my heart!
We came together with my brother and his fiancée after I had many of your replies to my husband and my sister. I stated clearly that I will support her in any way possible and that it’s very important for me to welcome home to the family properly but the jewelry is off the table because I believe I am fulfilling my mother’s wishes and I cannot hurt my daughters. I added that I believe that this is not the right way to join a family and that we should strive to resolve this conflict before it creates more tension between my daughters and their uncle and future aunt and also amongst us siblings.
At first, I thought my brother really saw my point and he seemed happy that we offered to pitch together to buy something for his fiancée. Unfortunately she is not willing to accept this. as some of you pointed out, she seems to believe that she ranks right beside my sister and me when it comes to our late mother and supersedes my daughters.. well.
She talked about her rightful place in the family and how she went no contact with her family because they denied her the respect that she deserves and that she will not hesitate to do the same with us. She also talked a lot about the pain of not being able to have any heirloom jewelry for her wedding. And honestly, I believe only a few days ago I would’ve given in presented with her tears but thanks to your kind words I was able to see through her emotional manipulation and really now that I am aware of what she’s doing it is so obvious..
I must say my brother looked very uncomfortable. She then stated that it would be a waste to give the pieces to my daughters since they would just sell them for the money to buy make-up wich is absurd. I ended the conversation at this point stating that I hold firm to my boundary and that they are free to do whatever they feel is the right thing for them.
I am heartbroken and I hope my brother will change his mind. So.. no happy ending but thanks again.
Relevant Comments:
Commenter: Thats great youve seen her for what shes really doing! Good luck to your brother because the fiancé sure sounds like a peach! Well done for looking out for your baby girls (I know they’re 18 but they’ll always be your babies!)!

OOP: They are capable and wise but they should not bear the consequences of the quarrels of others that they have no part in. And although I am heartbroken by all of this I can firmly feel my mother’s support in this as she put me in charge to protect what belongs to her granddaughters and daughters. Thank you for your support!

In response to a longer comment:

Thanks again.. I appreciate your encouragement. I hope their next move will be one of love and understanding but it’s hard to tell what they will do. While I don’t believe they are considering to physically steal the pieces from me, I have now given the two pieces meant for the younger girls to my mother-in-law for safekeeping at her house until the dust settles. She is obviously livid at the treatment of her granddaughters. The girls felt a lot of pressure from their uncle which is so heartbreaking.. my eldest on the other hand calls her future aunt a grifter and says she will not accept any change of plan to accommodate her so she will receive her piece as planned. She has also been looking forward to wearing it for a long time. I have no words really at this point.. hoping for the best.

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I currently work in the fast food industry and have been working at the same location for the past 5 years. For context, I work at a Panda Express that operates in one of the suburbs of Chicago. I was hired when I was 16 years old back in August 2019; I worked part-time during the school year and full-time during the summer. When I started college in another state after graduating high school, I would go on temporary leave and return to the same location during wintesummer break. And each time I return I have been absolutely appalled about how our location keeps jacking up the prices, while the wages stay practically the same.
Here’s the breakdown (this is for the Panda Bowl btw), which consists of one side one entree because that’s the only menu item that I 100% remember the price when I first started back in 2019. No premium entrees are included; it’s just the standard bowl:
Bowl Price: August 2019- $7.02 after tax May 2024 (now)- $9.33 after tax
Price increase: 32.9%
Minimum starting wage: August 2019- $13.00 May 2024 (now)- $15.50
Price increase: 19.2%
The results show that the bowl prices at this particular Panda Express location have increased approximately 71.35% more than the increase in the minimum wage from year 1 to year 5. I find this statistic disheartening, and while I’m no economist and understand that it’s not realistic for wages to keep up with inflation on a 1:1 basis, it definitely seems like these differences are far too drastic and speak to the squeezes many workers are facing.
Two disclaimers:

1. I make more than the minimum wage at my location; because I return each year they’ve added on a bit more to my hourly each time. I currently get paid $17.25 an hour but I’m aware of the starting wage at my store since I’ve asked my new coworkers and my manager when I came back this summer. The increase from the $13.00 starting to my current hourly of $17.25 is actually more in-line with the bowl price increase (32.6% vs 32.9%) over the 5 years, but it’s safe to say that turnover is extremely high in retail and fast food and it’s not realistic to stay at the same garbage company for years.
   
2. I wish I could have the exact figures for each consecutive year starting from year 1 to make it a more accurate “case study,” especially since I’m sure COVID fucked things up, but I didn’t GAF about keeping track of all those prices back then, I was just trying to save up money lol. Feel free to lmk your thoughts below, and I’ll try to answer any questions if there are any.