Hi, I always missed to export Tables from Desmos via copy-past to i.e. excel.
Wrote a little JS Script with a little help of chatGPT doing the trick by converting to a regular html-table.
I use it as a bookmarklet, so it is very easy to use. Open your web browser's bookmarks or favorites manager.
In most browsers, you can do this by pressing Ctrl+Shift+B (Windows) or Cmd+Shift+B (Mac).
Create a new bookmark.
You can name it something like "Desmos Tables". Copy the following code: javascript:(function(){let tableContainers=document.querySelectorAll('.dcg-table-container');let zIndexStart=1000;tableContainers.forEach((container,index)=>{let tableDiv=document.createElement('div');tableDiv.style.position='fixed';tableDiv.style.top=\${40+index15}px`;tableDiv.style.left=`${40+index15}px`;tableDiv.style.width='40%';tableDiv.style.height='80%';tableDiv.style.border='1px solid #ccc';tableDiv.style.backgroundColor='white';tableDiv.style.padding='10px';tableDiv.style.zIndex=zIndexStart+index;tableDiv.style.overflowY='auto';tableDiv.style.boxShadow='0 4px 8px rgba(0,0,0,0.1)';tableDiv.style.resize='both';tableDiv.style.userSelect='text';let closeButton=document.createElement('span');closeButton.innerText='x';closeButton.style.position='absolute';closeButton.style.top='5px';closeButton.style.right='10px';closeButton.style.cursor='pointer';closeButton.style.fontWeight='bold';closeButton.onclick=()=>tableDiv.remove();let heading=document.createElement('h2');heading.innerText=`Table ${index+1}`;heading.style.margin='0 0 10px 0';heading.style.fontSize='16px';heading.style.fontWeight='bold';let htmlTable=document.createElement('table');htmlTable.style.width='100%';htmlTable.style.borderCollapse='collapse';htmlTable.style.userSelect='text';let rows=container.querySelectorAll('.dcg-row');rows.forEach(row=>{let htmlRow=document.createElement('tr');let cells=row.querySelectorAll('.dcg-cell');cells.forEach(cell=>{let htmlCell=document.createElement('td');htmlCell.style.border='1px solid #ddd';htmlCell.style.padding='8px';htmlCell.style.userSelect='text';let cellContent=cell.querySelector('.dcg-mq-root-block');if(cellContent&&cellContent.innerText.trim()!==""){htmlCell.innerText=cellContent.innerText.trim();}else{htmlCell.innerHTML=' ';}htmlRow.appendChild(htmlCell);});htmlTable.appendChild(htmlRow);});tableDiv.appendChild(heading);tableDiv.appendChild(htmlTable);tableDiv.appendChild(closeButton);document.body.appendChild(tableDiv);});if(tableContainers.length===0){alert('No tables found.');}else{alert(`${tableContainers.length} table(s) found and displayed.`);}})();`
Paste the copied code into the URL field of the new bookmark. Ensure the URL starts with javascript: and that the entire code is on a single line without any line breaks. Save the bookmark.
How to Use the Bookmarklet Navigate to a Desmos page that contains tables. Click on the bookmarklet in your bookmarks toolbar.
The bookmarklet will find the tables on the page, display them in floating div elements, and number each table. Empty cells will contain a non-breaking space to ensure they are copied correctly.
Have fun!

Someone here about a month ago asked for a summary or notes on Sheras teachings and I cant seem to find it anymore, so I will list here some of the things I have noted.
• Have a goal in mind
• Stay feminine
• Dont talk about your personal business, family/exes/private personal life heavy on the exes!
• if he tries to have sex immediately and he’s all sex sex sex just tell them ”Okay maybe this isn’t going to work out, but I have the perfect friend for you who likes your type. Her name is Alexa, I’ll send her number to you. She is soo free spirited” or just blatantly ask for money if he’s that rude.
• if he asks for your body count, ask about his bank account (only dusties ask this)
• He needs to like you more than you like him
• Spend his money
• Allow him to cheat, dont try to control any man
• All men are the same, their income isn’t
• Whatever comes out of a mans mouth, reverse it
• If you want him to love you, love yourself not him
• Men want what they cant have
• Emotions and fighting. Treat him like your boss in that sense, you dont get messy with your boss either.
• Emotions are better if you act them
• Laugh at his jokes
• Let him do the talking, and dont correct him. You want to make him feel good about himself around you.
• Tell them you dont have sex outside of relationships
• Exculisivity costs money, you’re not 3rd graders with post-it cards asking to be their girlfriend.
• If they say something you dont like give them an ugly look
• If he doesnt fix his issues within a week he’s a dusty. (E.g car breaks down etc.)
• ”I don’t deal with men who cant keep their word and are secretly broke”
• Dusties run away on their own if given a financial burden
• Always have a financial problem as a reason why you havent texted back or are unable to see them.
• Don’t be too available
• I look for what a man can do for me, offer me. I make him feel good, and elevate him
• When he makes time for you, you make time for him. And make sure that your time is being compensated, wheter it’s experience or material, or money
• Have several options
• It’s all about him stroke his ego
• You are the prize !!!!
• Ask him for help for free stuff first then he doesn’t have a problem with problems that cost
• Pay attention to details and make mental notes about him
• Dont sleep on the first date
• You cant change a dusty, a dusty will change themselves
• Be their weakness
• Say ”I’m very attracted to you” to ugly men
• Be emotionally reclusive
• Let him pick the place for the date but know in advance so you can ghost if it’s a cheap coffee shop
• Believe the red flags
• Talk slow and sensual
• Act like you dont need him at all
• Only being sexual, giving sex, talking about sex, initiating sex is being a pickmeisha. Use your other assets, such as voice, eyes, body language, humor, appearance
• If you want to be a pickmeisha, be one to a bank account
• Confidence and being the prize is in your mind, there is no tutorial for it
• Dont outshine him in gift giving
• If you’re talking and he’s not listening, ask ”Do you hear me? I want your opinion on this you’re so smart after all” you train him subconciously to listen and react to you while giving him a compliment
• Everytime you stress about a man, wheter he’s seeing other people etc. Reverse it. Why isn’t he stressed about you?
• You can be a pickmeisha to get their attention if you immediatly go back to yourself
• Dont carry the conversation
• Men tend to be seduced by looks, women by words. Be careful he’s not all talk, but actions too.
• When they give you the silent treatment, you act like they arent giving you the silent treatment because youre not talking to him anyway and that way it wont work on you
• ”Oh baby yeah I cant wait it’s just going to be so great, but I have to get to know you a little better first. It makes it more passionate for me, and I know you want to please me, right? I cant just sleep with anybody I barely know, it’s not exciting for me.”
• He should have more than 1 income
• Date dusties and for fun when young, start dating for funds at 23
• If he tries to come back, have a list of things you want and make him complete all of them.
• Play dumb
• If you playing the game correctly you shouldn’t be worried about commitment
• ”How you doing?” ”Oh I was doing bad but now that you called I’m feeling much better”
• Being unbothered holds actual power
• If a man ghosts you or has other options you dont care
• Dont approach men, but you can always pass them the ball
•In order to take things slow with a man you need to have high values
• My brain doesnt understand less
• ”It’s been a while since I met a handsome succesful man that’s not afraid to impress a woman”

My interpretation of the song is that it was a reference to Creep and how the fans clung onto it. It is pre-established that the band themselves never liked the song and that it was a filler song, and there are theories of multiple "attempted sabotages" that have become the signature qualities of the song, but I am unsure if they are theories or confirmed.
Intro:
"Faith, you're driving me away, you do it everyday"
They are losing faith throughout the time between the rise of Pablo Honey and the Release of The Bends that they will escape Creep as their most known/streamed. "You don't mean it but it hurts like hell"
People are only listening to Creep, and it is upsetting.
"My brain says I'm receiving pain"
My brain says I'm receiving pain. In their heads, the band knows that they are becoming a One hit Wonder band, and though they are successful in the industry, they are upset that Creep is the song that blew up. "A lack of oxygen"
Can't get a breath of fresh air from Creep. "From my life support" Life support being Creep.
My iron lung
Verse Two:
"we're too young to fall asleep, too cynical to speak," being a reference to the band being too new to die a one hit wonder but singing another may be too edgy, specifically because of the "suck your teenage thumb, toilet trained and dumb" [verse three] line, that saying that the fans are all emo teens who are think they are edgy but don't understand the "true meaning" or Creep or other songs on Pablo Honey. I also have seen that it is in reference to people just following a trend and being to stupid to think for themselves, people weren't in love with the whole album, just Creep, so many people only listen to Creep and MAYBE No surprises.
"We are losing it, can’t you tell,"
could be in reference to losing their feel as a band, since it seems like the sound and genre has had one million identity crises, Pablo Honey being a bit more grungy while The Bends starts to lean into the rock-ier sound, including something we hadn't seen yet from them, a few softer sung songs. ( those would be Bulletproof/I wish I was and Fade Out)
"Scratch our eternal itch."
Their eternal itch would be the fact that their number one most streamed song is one the band doesn't even care for (at least anymore)
"A twentieth century bitch."
No matter how long their band was afloat, they knew that the song that they presumably didn't love would follow them for a while, if not forever, as it has.
"We are grateful for our iron lung."
The song got the band the breakthrough they needed for their other music and expression.
Chorus:
Similarly to the intro, I do not see too strong of a connection to the theory, however, in another post someone theorizes that Uncle Bill is actually Bill Hicks, as the album was dedicated to him. He, in the song, is the belisha beacon, which is a crossing lamp for cars and pedestrians in England, meaning he lit the way for the band.
Verse Three:
"Suck, suck your teenage thumb, Toilet trained and dumb."
Spoke about above in the first paragraph
"When the power runs out, we’ll just hum."
The guitar riff is easy to remember and hum.
"This, this is our new song."
Their new song as in their new hit song, a replacement for Creep, I think this is why they used the really nice guitar in the beginning, it is a memorable tune, easy to hum.
"Just like the last one."
Hoping it will be as popular as their last hit song.
"A total waste of time, my iron lung."
In my interpretation/theory, the band has never really been very fond of Creep, seeing it now (at the time of writing the MIL,) as a waste of time.
Bridge:
"And, if you’re frightened.
You can be frightened.
You can be, that’s okay.
But, if you’re frightened.
You can be frightened.
You can be, that’s okay."
The album sounds NOTHING like Pablo Honey, and the album sounds NOTHING like Creep, the song EVERYONE knows is Radiohead. They want people to know that if the songs stray from their "sound," they expect it to happen and even encourage it.
And finally, the lyric you've all been waiting for,
"My Iron Lung"
I think this one is pretty self explanatory, but the song Creep, though they are trying to avoid it in this song, has been and forever will be their Iron Lung, the one song that stands when all else fails, their one safety net for the inevitable downfall of the band.
I know I sound like an insane conspiracy theorist, but don on your tin foil hats and theorize with me.
(sorry about spelling/grammatical errors, english IS my first language, I'm just a but stupid. I had to google how to spell grammatical just now for the little note.)

Spoilers ahead…
Dear Karthik Subbaraj,
Congratulations on yet another interesting movie, and for resisting the impulse to name this one, too, after a food item. Iraivi is an unusual feminist film, in the sense that it’s seen entirely through the prism of sympathetic male characters. Your men aren’t monsters who drink or cheat on their wives or subject them to torture. They do these things, yes, but… differently. Arul (SJ Surya) drinks, but only to drown out his sense of failure – he’s a director and his film is in the cans, being held hostage by a sadistic producer. Michael (Vijay Sethupathi) has sex with Malarvizhi (Pooja Devariya), and he continues to lust after her after his marriage to Ponni (Anjali) – I love that all your women have names that suggest classical heroines, including Arul’s wife Yazhini (Kamalini Mukherjee) – but it’s a marriage he committed to in a hurry and he still hasn’t reconciled himself to it. He’s being a bastard, certainly, but he’s not a one-note villain. And the torture they inflict isn’t the stubbing-a-cigarette-into-the-wife’s-bare-arm variety. It’s more mental than physical.
So we get women who are collateral damage – and I include Arul’s comatose mother (Vadivukkarasi), and the nurse who’s not allowed to do her duty – of men being men. They’re being babies, really. Yazhini tells Arul that he should get on with his life, write another story, make another movie. He says it’s like her trying to have another child while still pregnant with their daughter. (Yes, all these men end up with girl children.) He’s a wallower – but maybe all artists are. You like to do that, don’t you Karthik? Even in a film like this, you deliver a commentary about filmmaking and the artist. Why, even Arul’s father is a sculptor, and though we never see him ill-treating his wife (thank you for sparing us the clichés of raised hands and raised voices), we’re informed that he’s responsible for her state. His son’s following the father’s footsteps. Maybe you’re trying to say that the wives of obsessed artists are doomed to become collateral damage. Your films make us think, Karthik, so thank you for that.
All your stories have at their centre a filmmaker, or at least (in the case of your first film, Pizza) a storyteller. And through them, we seem to hear your voice. “Works of art should not be in places where they are not respected.” “Namma padam pesanum, naama pesa koodadhu.” You compare masala movies to a massage with a happy ending. (I laughed, but please don’t judge me when I say I rather like massages with happy endings – I refer to masala movies, of course.) We even get a line of dialogue about Dolby Atmos. (What will the B/C-centre audience make of this, Karthik? But then you don’t really give a shit, do you? More power to you.) And you like your insider jokes. That crass, egoistic producer who does not care about art – he reminded me of the crass producer from your earlier film, Jigarthanda. You like Rajinikanth too. You referenced Thillu Mullu in Pizza, Thalapathi in Jigarthanda, and now you have Arul singing Malayala karayoram, Michael singing Oorai therinjikitten.
Or is that more of an Ilayaraja homage? You like to keep the audience guessing, right? When the Bobby Simha character in Jigarthanda said he was a Shankar-Ganesh fan, it appeared that you were mocking the endless Ilayaraja nods in Tamil cinema, but here you are, doffing your hat to the maestro. “Raja Raja dhaan.” Arul says this… twice. (By the way, which is that nightclub which plays Maanguyile poonguyile? Do let us know.) And the reuse of Unnai thaane – first in a scene between Michael and Malarvizhi; later in a scene between Michael and Ponni – is the kind of Easter egg we come to your films for. Let me list some others, though I’ll probably need to watch the film a second (or third) time to get them all. The name of the bachelors’ quarters is Ambal Mansion – it goes with your theme and title. I didn’t get the bit about the windmills (something connected to the gust of wind that makes the row of cycles fall over in the first scene?), or why you showcased the book of Shanta Shishunala Sharif’s poems. (I confess. I Googled up that name. I can’t remember the last time a Tamil film made me Google something up. Madras, maybe.) And despite your note at the beginning that Iraivi is inspired by the works of K Balachander (he made female-centric films, but I don’t know if I’d call them feminist films), this is really more of an ode to Mani Ratnam, isn’t it? Specifically, Aayidha Ezhuthu. The three men, one of them – the impulsive one – named Michael. The film starting out as Arul’s story, then becoming Michael’s story, and finally Jagan’s (Bobby Simha) story. The finale with the woman on the train. Plus, the arc of the Madhavan-Meera Jasmine plot was essentially about being easily misled (in the case of the man) and becoming collateral damage (in the case of the woman.) And yes, the rain. All that rain. As though the skies were weeping for these women.
Am I digressing, Karthik? If I am, I’m just following your style, which is the opposite of simple and linear. As a result, I find your films longer than they need to be. (You may feel the same about my reviews.) For instance, I did not care for the scene in the nightclub where a director is felicitated. I realise it was there as a last straw for Yazhini, but it felt redundant. But I suppose they couldn’t be any other way, because you like these shaggy-dog stories that you then embellish with novelistic detail. I love the way you introduce your characters, the time you take with them. Our films lay out characters and their relationship to each other the minute we set eyes on them, but you make us wait to know how Arul is related to Jagan and where Michael fits in and so on. And when it appeared that a semblance of a plot was kicking in (something about Arul needing money to buy back his film), I dug out my phone and checked: it was a whole hour into the movie. Borrowing an image from Malarvizhi’s profession (oh wait, she’s an artist too; she’s literally an artist), it’s like daubs of paint slowly forming a bigger picture.
And you really like an expansive canvas. Not only does the crass producer have a brother, you also bring in his wife later on, to conclude a deal he began making. These segments practically form a mini-movie, with another woman left reeling by the actions of her man. Your films have this… density. They’re packed – with characters, with complications, with information doled out in bits and pieces. (A character says, “Un kitta onnu sollanum.” And instead of hearing what he has to say, we cut to someone else.) Take the scene where Michael asks Arul for money he is owed. You just need to get Michael to Arul’s antiques shop, so the next part of the plot can be staged. Arul could have told Michael to collect the money at the shop. Instead, this is what we get. Arul tells Michael to wait for a week, when he can get the 50 lakhs he is owed. Michael says he wants only 10 lakhs. Arul says he has only 8 lakhs, he’ll give the remainder later. Michael goes to Arul’s father, in the hospital. He has only 5 lakhs. And he directs Michael to the shop, to get the remaining 3 lakhs. Your signature intercutting adds to this texture, Karthik. Shots of Michael and Arul’s father in the hospital are intercut with shots of Arul hunting for booze. Shots of Michael and Jagan outside a courtroom are intercut with shots of Arul being consoled by his father. Happenings are stretched and meshed the way they would be in real life, and not compacted according to the page-per-minute requirement of screenplay-writing textbooks.
I could never predict where the film was going (win!), what these people were going to do (again, win!) –though I must admit I found this to be the weakest of your “twists.” The subplot about stealing sculptures, too, I found rather conceit-y, something half-heartedly cooked up to fit with the title and the theme, rather than something plausible, something these people would do. When Michael, here, commits murder, with a hammer, I went, “This mild-mannered chap? Really?” But then, even in Jigarthanda, I wasn’t quite convinced that the characters would do the things they did. They seemed to be puppets of a screenplay rather than credible human beings, whose actions evolve organically from who they are (or at least, who they seem to be).
But even if I am not convinced by the overall trajectory of your characters, I love how fleshed-out they are on a moment-to-moment basis. I loved the scene where Arul barges into Yazhini’s house, after their separation, on the day of her engagement to someone else. In a lesser film, she would have asked him to get out, and he’d have dug his heels in, and she’d have cooled down and… But here, she rushes straight into his arms. And you make us see why. She was frustrated, fed up with him. But she’s also confused. Was she hasty in abandoning this man? Should she move on with another man? Does she even need a man? With just this one scene, you’ve compensated for the underwritten heroine of Jigarthanda. The story arc may be Arul’s, but Yazhini registers as a fully formed character. Similarly, Michael’s arc allows for the delineation of Ponni and Malarvizhi, and through Jagan, we get glimpses of his mother, and possibly of all womanhood as viewed by a compassionate man. And then you say that women don’t need even this compassionate man (poor chap!), that they have to emancipate themselves instead of looking for a penis-wielding emancipator. What delicious irony, given that you begin the film with women talking about marriage, tying themselves to a man!
Or not, in the case of Malarvizhi, who is easily the film’s most interesting character. Her husband is dead, and she doesn’t want love anymore – only sex. When Michael buys her a diamond necklace, she gives it back to him – she can buy her own trinkets, thank you very much. But the character feels shoe-horned into the film, Karthik. I felt betrayed – and I bet she did too – that after a point, she was used simply as a plot device to get Michael and Ponni together, and also to illustrate Michael’s (who is now standing in for all of mankind) hypocrisy. I felt she deserved more. And yet, I appreciated your generosity in fleshing her out like all the others, without judging her. She gets to be the rare woman in Tamil cinema who dumps the man, and the way she lets go of Michael is echoed in the way Arul lets go of Yazhini, with a heavy heart and some playacting. A side effect of the Malarvizhi subplot is the reassurance that Vijay Sethupathi is still interested in making cinema, rather than just massy entertainers targeted at the box office.
Ponni gets a better deal (and Anjali is terrific, raw and expressive in a way she has never been). In a great scene – rather, a set of book-ending scenes – Michael tells Ponni that he was forced to marry her, and she’s going to have to “adjust” to this if she wants to be with him. Much later, she throws the “adjust” word back on his bearded face when he asks her if she slept with someone else. In a different kind of movie, we’d be invited to see this symmetry, stand up and applaud. But you’re too subtle for that, Karthik. Iraivi is your subtlest film. Which is why I winced at the melodramatic lines about men and women, most of which came towards the end. Aan, using the long-sounding vowel, versus penn, with the shorter one – for such a visual filmmaker (this is another outstandingly shot film, less showy than Jigarthanda and probably richer for that), do you really need the crutch of linguistic special effects from another era of filmmaking? Also, when the rest of your film is so allusive, isn’t there another way you can explain the twist without having a character resort to such an inelegant information dump?
And why is it that your films come together more in the head than in the heart? Why are they easier to admire than love wholeheartedly? I used to think it was because your characters are essentially deceitful, self-serving and unsympathetic, so though we were invested in what they did, we didn’t really warm up to them. But here, you have Ponni and Yazhini and Malarvizhi – and they’re still remote. But perhaps this is bound to happen when there are so many people, so many strands, when we don’t follow one person’s simplistic “you go, girl” journey like we do in, say, 36 Vayadhinile? But when the parts are so well-crafted, we don’t complain as much about their sum not adding up to a satisfying whole. I am sure that you will, one day, make that wholly satisfying film, but for now, thank you for these parts. Thank you for the ambition. I felt there were too many songs (some good work by Santhosh Narayanan), but thank you for ensuring that they don’t break character, the way songs usually do when a character speaking in his or her voice suddenly segues into the playback singer’s voice. Thank you for giving us SJ Surya, the actor – I never dreamed he had such a capacity to hold a scene, to hold the screen. Thank you for continuing not to sell out. Thank you for trying to do so much, even if not all of it needed to have been tried. And thank you for making me fight with myself, for not making it easy to decide if you’ve made a “good” film or a merely “okay” film. For now, Iraivi is a fascinating film, and that’s enough.
Sincerely, etc.

Chapter 1: the event
It was the fall of my intern year as I bean my off service trauma rotation. This month was ubiquitously notorious for being the most labor intrusive and least productive rotaion of our emergency medicine program. Knowing this I entered with the intention of simply surviving the month.
Another intern and I let’s call them A for sake of ambiguity, we’re the first emergency medicine residents to roste on the trauma services that year. A shaky start would be an understatement. In the words of chance the raper “like my grama with the Parkinson’s playing operation.” Would better describe it. Medically we did well. We were very competent and completed our work daily, but communication and coordination was non existent. Our Cheifs had informed us that Tuesday was our day of and the Trauma cheif residents had minimum communication with us, or our Cheifs as it seams when A and I did not report on Tuesday they sternly made their dissatisfaction known.
I have struggled with insomnia sense the age of 10. Had 2 sleep studies by this point in my life and been prescribed nearly every sleeping aid on the market. The 80-94 hr work weeks of our trauma rotaion only worsened my insomnia. My lack of sleep likely contributed to a less than prime adaptive immune system and 2 days out of my trauma rotaion I contracted strep like symptoms with associated nausea, requiring me to call for a sick day the next day. No the first day that I felt too ill to work. I was not fully aware of the reporting process. I reported to my Chiefs, but I did not believe I could come to work tomorrow with amble time and notice, however I was somewhat delayed in letting their Cheifs know, because the surgical chiefs rotated every few days and I did not know who my was going to be the next day. The second day which I had to call out sick I was able to locate the cheif for the next day and reprot according to our university’s protocol, which requires that if a resident feels they are not fit for work they must not come in and the university must have staff coverage without any fear or implementation of punitive actions.
I had finally survived to the last week of my trauma rotaion and I could see the light at the end of the tunnel. What I could not see was the pile of stress, shitty diet, lack of mental well ness and sleep deprivation which I was pushing down to reach the light. By this time I had seen a psychiatrist regularly for sleep medication. I had mentioned to him that I had been experiencing more stressed lately and feel that I might be depressed. he reassured me that it was likely only due to my circumstances, given the difficulty of the trauma rotation and wish to reassess once the rotation was over. Looking back I had to fill the habit of drinking more than I usually do. My only on nights before I have days off became 1-2 beers every other night. All of this repressed unhealthy shit finally pushed bad on September 23rd. That night I was at work even later than usual, I stayed up later than usual and couldn’t seem to fall asleep. With the stress of only having minimal sleep and knowing I only had 2 more days of trauma left, I took an extra dose of my sleeping medication.
I opened my eyes to the fighting sight of sun beaming in my window and I instantly knew I was late. (Sense I hadn’t seen the sun in a month) . Due to my need for scrupulous sleep hygiene I have been sleeping with my phone of and away for me. I rushed to grab it and watched as the little Apple logo seamed to glow on the screen for an eternity. Then in conjunction with its fading I saw 3 missed calls from my director, a text from college A and 2 missed calls from the surgical director. Still, I was able to calm myself, knowing that resident A had been late to this rotation by a few hours 2 other days and nothing came of it. I called my director back and he asked me to report to his office where I was greeted by my director, my coordinator and another emergency medicine facility.
With the only explanation of: “we just want you to get better”, I was handed a letter, to my relief it did not entail my termination, but a declaration of administrative leave and a requirement to undergo an evaluation at a well known university in Florida.
Lake any other savvy millennial, I did my research. By research I mean numerous google searches and screeches thru the depts of redit. To my dismay I discovered that in order for a residency program to fire you, they must first initiate an administrative suspension. I would soon find out however, being terminated would have been a delightful outcome compared to what ensued.
I spend the next few weeks in the wallos of regret and depression. I indulged in higher qualities of alchohol then I ever have before. I all but ceased communing with peers, and abruptly stoped any physical activity I had once enjoyed. Frightened as I was I was ensured, it will be ok “we just want you to get better”
Chapter 2 The evaluation : guilty until proven innocent I did exactly as instructed and scheduled an evaluation, I supposed that this was either a mental evaluation to assess if I’m fit for work with plans of termination or it actually was an evaluation to better treat my insomnia. To this day I regret my ignorance, and wish I had researched the process more. The Hindi / sand-skrt idea of Hamsa 🪬 is that in order to do any good you must have full knowledge or else good intentions can result in harm. I truely believe my director had good intentions, however but him and I did not have full knowledge of the nature of this evaluation.
Looking back see how easily I could have avoided my troubles by asserting legal aid at this point or even by researching this evaluation process more in depth. If one searches impaired practitioner program which I now know this evaluator works for, the search entire will populate 5 or 6 layferms along side their home website and there is a valid reason for this.
If one every finds themself in this process I employ you to bring a DSM to your evaluation or at least be familiar with the most common use disorders in the DSM-5, because your evaluation will turn into a dance of questions where the evaluator attempts to trap you in a round about way to stating something that may qualify for one of the diagnosis. I have provided an image from the DSM-5 below outlining AUD, which the evaluator concluded that I had the most severe from:
Image
Example***** Here are 10 examples of how he fraudulently assessed me taken directly from his assessment note.

1. Evaluator: Have you ever stoped drinking in the last year.

Me: yes I stoped every week day, I was only drinking on the weekends, until two weeks ago.
-Evaluator uses stoping and starting every week to qualify for 2 or more unsuccessful attempts to stop in the last year “There is a persistent desire or unsuccessful efforts to cut down or control alcohol use.”

1. Evaluator Have you ever had withdrawal symptoms

Me no
Evaluator Well Have you ever had a hangover? You know that’s a from of acute withdrawal
Me: yes in college, I had a few but that was years ago and I’m pretty sure the pathophysiology is different.
Evaluator uses this to count for withdrawal symptoms even tho is was more than a year ago

1. Evaluator: Have you even taken your sleeping medication on a day or night which you drank? Me: Yes, I took my prescriptions are prescribed but I never drank close to bed

Evaluator: qualified this as dangerous behavior with alcohol (where the DSM gives examples such as unprotected sex and drunk driving). The sleeping medication I was on is not a benzodiazepine therefore it is not deadly with alcohol. I personally have seen many patients in the ED who have taken their entire bottle of the medication and drank copious amounts, we just monitor them over night and rehydrate them

1. Evaluator Has anyone told you you drink to much or been worried about you Me: No I drink much less than my friends

Evaluator what about your girlfriend? Me: well she actually doesn’t drink at all she doesn’t like it. She often buys me beer for The Weeknd’s tho. One time we went to a movie and she got a little irritated because I waited for beer then complained about them not having any craft beer. So she said, “you couldn’t have just said no” and drank something else. However, she apologized after and said it’s worth waiting if it’s my only day off.
Evaluator said this qualifies for continued drinking despite causing significant relation consequences, ie divorce.

1. Evaluator : you have sleep issues I hear, and your chart says you’ve had depression in the past, don’t you know that alcohol can effect your sleep and mood Me: yes that’s why I never drink within 3 hours of sleep.

Evaluator but you knew this and still drank
Evaluator: qualifies for drinking despite unwanted physical or psychological effects (this should be recurring to effects the alcohol is causing, I have had insomnia sense the age of 10 long before I took my first sip)
7 evaluator you were late for work and told my you had a drink the day before
Me: Yes but I was late because I didn’t sleep and took double my sleeping meds, I will never do that again
Qualifies for 2 significant work or school issues in the past year ( a therapist and other psychologist ensured me that being late on or a few days doesn’t count they typically are getting fired or failing) ( moreover, this would assume I was late do to drinking it’s self and also assume if happened more than once)

1. • Alcohol is often taken in larger amounts or over a longer period than was intended

He never once asked anything related to this question yet said I qualified in his final report 9. A great deal of time is spent in activities necessary to obtain alcohol, use alcohol, or recover from its effects. The evaluators logic here was sense I was late for work and I had 2 beers the day before I must be taking long to recover from it (this is assuming I missed due to alcohol)

1. Tolerance drinking more to require the same effect: this he checked as true in his final note however it was never even discussed in our evaluation. I did mention to him that I’ve been drinking more than I had earlier in the year frequency wise, but they said nothing to do with quantity or needing more.
   
2. Wanting to drink so bad you can not think of anything else: this is the only qualification of SAUD my evaluator said I did not have.
   

Moreover, without legal help I was not aware that I could obtain a second evaluation or even oppose going to get evaluated at all, but that wouldn’t have mattered seeing I still thought this was for my health and wellbeing as seen when I was asked why do you think you are here to today, to which I replayed “so that I can be evaluated to see what is needed to get back to work”.
To maks the ordeal more infuriating the evaluator continues to ingratiate himself and lie through the process telling you, “it will be fine as long as you are 100% honest”, “anything you say in here is between you and me” or “you slipped up once with your meds, I know your residnecy program they will probably just want a few more out patient tests”
Two weeks later I received a phone call right before I left for an out of state vacation to visit my nice for her birthday. During the call I was informed that I would be required to complete a partial hospitalization program (PHP) lasting “6-10 weeks” which would coast from 15-50 grand not including doctor visits or housing which is billed separately. I suppressed this inconvenience, enjoyed my vocation and reported when I returned, knowing that I must complete this soon so I may return to work with due to the fact that my payed time off would soon be diminished. At this time I had not yet heard of the organization PRN.
Chapter 3 Guilty till proven innocent: The diagnosis
Shell shocked I arrived to a in patient psychiatric unit and was rapidly cleared to progress to treatment without detoxification. During my 90 day of forced rehabilitation I met a few other individuals who were unjustly and fraudulently forced into treatment. I began to look up to one of these such members of the men’s community, who I will refer to as patient X for ambiguity sake.
Unlike me patient X did have alcohol use disorder. He spent many clinic days drinking to avoid alcoholic withdraws. The curious component of his story is that he admitted his depravity, saught help and through his own journey became sober. The bodies at be, namely his local physician, Health monitoring program, rejected his personal path to sobriety and forced him to undergo 90 days of in patient treatment before he could practice medicine again. When he checked in to rehab he had been sober for over a year.
Ask for Stories of people from online
As for me I spend many sleepless nights pondering how consuming a legal substance in a moderate amount could throw me into significant legal financial issues. My labs my toxicology, my story and my collateral from colleagues from colleagues all indicated light to moderate alcohol use but my evaluators word stood as the word of God.
More frightening was the director of this rehabs acknowledgment of this. The director who happens to also coincidentally be the evaluator, stated to me as well as to staff on multiple occasions: “ I suggest inpatient treatment for everyone who is reported”. “This is safer for me not to miss anyone who could harm patients, and I figure there must be a reason someone reported them.”
I am still elucidating the reason why I was determined guilty and proven innocent, however I can say from my 90 day stent that the majority of the patients at this rehab needed to be there. This program is saving lives of both providers and patients, however it is destroying the lives of those wrongfully accused.
Chapter 4 your lisense rehab or jail : Upon arivil I was sent to a detox hospital underwent a medical examination and was “one of the lucky ones” who required no detoxification and could report directly to PHP. Like everyone else, I spent 90 days in a PHP, being as 6-10 weeks is simply a lie they tell patients to decrease the change of resisting the treatment. When discussing the topic one therapist sated “if we told patients 90 days they would never come.” She then attempted to justify the treatment by outlining the story of a patient she had called who “didn’t make it to treatment” and killed themselves”. It is my belief that it is not the lack of PHP which impelled such professionals to take their life, but them realizing that they now will be obliged to undergo 90 days of PHP, 5 years of PRN monitoring with a loss of autonomy and hundreds of thousands of dollars taken from them that induced their hopelessness. For even if these professionals were truly mentally unstable in their addictions, in every case it was only following a phone call where they were informed they must undergo treatment that they took their life’s. By this time I still haven’t the slightest clue what PRN was.
Despite the security these programs provide for many my 6 main issues with them can be summarized in : 1. Kick backs: evaluators are directors of treatment clinics 2. The reported are guilty till proven innocent 3. The price, the overflow of money these places drag in from both patients and state universities is appalling, they charge separately for every visit and test 4. Although they make the claim that they are individualized, they are anything but. Every patient gets the same stay and treatment from the doctor drunk on the job and the one who was late to a shift 5. They force voluntary treatment. remember that friendly evaluator who promised he had your best interest at heart, so you opened up and told him everything about your substance use/ developmental / family history, well if you don’t stay for 90 days he will be “normally obliged” to tip the board of medical off to you.

1. The programs have overstepped their intended jurisdiction. -these programs work well if they function how they were intended at their inception. Cite original purpose. Originally these programs were designed to protect physicians and civilians from impaired practitioners; being healthcare workers who were impaired at work. Over the years, these organizations have extended their authority to encompass individuals with substance use disorders When not at work and also those who are in training to become healthcare professionals. Take for example myself compared to a physician who is impaired at work. A doctor who arrived for duty under the influence would surely benifit from the extensive testing, therapy and accountability enforced via these programs. In accordance the 20,000$ per year cost is appropriate when only making up roughly 7% of their yearly salary vs nearly half of a residents. In my case with my loss of income from employment, coast of treatment and monitoring, this year I will be required to pay 20,000$ to work. Yes, I will be losing money to work. Even if did indeed have a substance use disorder this level of monitoring wouldn’t not be considered appropriate.

Dispite all of the miscomings of this System My time spend in PHP was indeed helpful, as I believe it would be for anyone. Time for exercise, a reprieve from work and weekly counseling. A sample structure of my day to day schedule is provided below for insight:
Structure The general structure of these rehabitation centers is as follows: 1. One week of orientation phase, where you are not allowed in electronics or contact with the outside world world. Therefore, if you’re going, bring some things you would like to read or study. 2. In phase 2, you can use your phone however you cannot leave campus. You must stay in the dorm on campus. These shitty 1 room run down apartments with two other roommates will cost you about $1000 a week, they are required for at least four weeks and they are billed separately, no insurance will help you out here. 3. In phase 3 you can commute to campus if you beg your therapist and live very close. Whether you’re on campus or living off-campus, you are allowed to leave up to four hours per day. If you commute, you’ll be required to take a sober link decide you must Breath, alcohol test into every 6 hours. Like everything else in this program you must pay for this separately, a few hundred dollars a week. You advanced to other phases by completing assignments, however, assignments are limited by required built-in time, intrusive, scheduling, and reviewing. Therefore, if you do everything as rapidly as possible phase 1 will take one week phase 2 will take three weeks.
Every day schedule:
7:30: wake up, report to the front desk to inform them that you haven’t ran away yet and take and prescribed medications. They keep all your medications and require that you report to take them; for me this was antidepressants in an attempt to dispel the depression I contracted from being forced into treatment and whatever off label medication they were attempting to treat my ADHD with, since control medications were forbidden.
8 am: community group assessments This consisted of other patients presenting their assignments amongst the large group, on the weekends this was often an hour later and 12 study regularly took the place of assignment presentation.
10 am: process group. This was a two hour group therapy session with 6 to 12 other professionals in a therapist and training or occasionally a licensed mental health therapist.
1 pm: recreation This was generally about an hour of some sober themed craft or activity. Once a week this time slot was used for yoga.
2 pm: this was another time slot used for patients to present assignments as well as for individual therapy sessions. Each patient had one individual therapy session lasting 30 minutes per week.
3pm: This was time allotted to work on assignments or go to the gym on your sex specific scheduled gym day.
5pm: this time was used for guest speakers or another 12 step study group.
6 pm : this was generally an off-campus 12 step group
10 pm: report to the front desk and let them know you still haven’t ran away and take and Medication which are prescribed to take at night, then return to your cot bed in your room with 1-2 other roommates.
I found the community to be one of the most beneficial aspects of the PHP program. I was in a cohort of chill ass professionals of the same occupation who were always there to help each other.
Assignments The curriculum of the PHP consisted of assignment based on every step of the 12th step program. Generally, a patient would be required to complete an assignment on their own, review it with other patients, then faculty and finally present the assignment in front of the whole treatment group. You’re only given one assignment at a time and there are multiple steps to each which all requires scheduling this ensures that no matter how determined a patient is a full 90 days of treatment is required to complete all the assignments.
AA structure -the obsolete nature of AA has been verified in numbers studies, but I will refrain from divulging here and lend that endeavor to Dr. Lance Dodes very thorough discussion on the subject,in “the sober truth “
In all sincerity, if I truely did have a severe use disorder this experience could have been life saving. I only wish I could have used my 50 grand for someone who has spent their life time In addictive without reprieve. My first conversation when I was given my phone back was how I wish my father could be able to attend this PHP.
Chapter 5 reporting and PRN Self reporting What they ask you What you should tell them
There’s a third-party agency called professional resource network. Every state has their own. This agency works as a liaison between you and whatever credentialing service your occupation requires. Essentially they ensure your monitoring after treatment. Stake governments and licensing boards trust them, mainly because they monitor with the highest level of intrusiveness. This alleviates much work for state governments and licensing boards because once an individual is being monitored by a professional resource network, then they are deemed appropriate for duty and no further investigation/litigation needs to occur, as long as the monitored individual completely complies.
Because I was never impaired at work I was never reported to this agency. The general workflow of things someone would report you to professional resource network, then the resource network would contact you, and then you would be required to report for an evaluation at a treatment center, which would inevitably result in a suggestion I’ve treatment at that given treatment center. In my case I was sent to the treatment center without PRN being involved. Thus, two weeks into treatment. I was notified by my therapist that I needed to call PRN and self report. I attempted to resistance given that I did not have a problem and was not individually seeking help. I asked what happened if I didn’t self report. I was told that in order to stay in the treatment program I had to report to PRN. This meant either I report to PRN or I get kicked out of the treatment program and lose my job.
When you report to PRN they will ask you why you are in treatment. They will then list off every substance imaginable, asking you if you have ever tried the substance and when your last use was. Ultimately, they will obtain your discharge information from your treatment center, so it is in your best interest to report only what was found in your biochemical testing. If it wasn’t in your hair, I would argue that you don’t have a use disorder regarding that substance and it’s not relevant. I don’t believe it’s important for them to know that you smoked weed when you were 12.
Chapter 6 The contract:
Before being discharged from a treatment facility, a professional resource network will have you sign a contract. A little known fact which I was oblivious to is that contracts can be negotiated. Though this isn’t it possible, it is highly improbable that you can negotiate your contract since PRN has a power to delay your clearance to return to work.
Contractor almost never personalized, and I have not heard of a contract which is not a five-year agreement. You will sign releases of information so that PRN has access to all of your information which was gathered at the treatment facility. You must have a therapist, psychiatrist, primary care, doctor, and a addiction, medicine psychiatrist. You assign releases of information for all of them. You will be required To commit to: 1. three mutual aid meetings a week which you must log. I log smart recovery meetings. 2. Weekly therapy sessions with an approved mental health therapist from their list 3. Monthly doctors appointments with an addiction medicine psychiatrist 4. Yearly appointments with a primary care physician 5. Monthly appointments with a psychiatrist 6. Daily check-ins on a random drug testing app ( you will agree to weekly urine tests, a peth test 4 times a year, a hair test twice a year and a little caveat that says anything else they deem, clinically reasonable) 7. Quarterly update reports which you are required to obtain from a workplace monitor, therapist, addiction, medicine, psychiatrist, primary care physician and any other doctor you are seeing. 8. You must upload all of your prescriptions into a mobile application every single time you get them refilled and are not allowed to take them until they are approved. 9. Attendance of a PRN group via zoom. This is a local group you are assigned along with other monitored practitioners. There is a fee of roughly 130$ a month to attend this required group. For me all of these requirements coast around 20,000 a year. If you ever have a positive test even if it is the result of contamination from rubbing alcohol or unintentional ingestion of alcohol/ allergy medication your contract will rest to 5 years from the time of positive test. Once your five year contract is completed, you must ask to be released from monitoring. At that point they will search for any reason to keep you under monitoring. This could be dilute urines, daily check ins or a week where you did not attend mutual aid meetings. Every certification and license which you apply for will likely ask you if you were under a monitoring program/ have been treated for substance use. You must give an explanation and check yes. As far as licensing programs are concerned, if you were under the monitoring of PRN, you are safe, however they group practitioners who have had behavioral issues with practitioners who were diverting drugs from work. Therefore, keep in mind that you will be labeled as a sever addict.
7 Back to work and only work. During treatment your only goal is to return to work, however when you return your experience will be drastically distinct from what you remember. For me, I was now working in isolation. Missing six months of my training meant that no other Resident was on the same rotation as me. My coworkers at all formed friend groups. When I returned I was greeted with much concern for my well being. No one would speak to be about my absence, however everyone knew there is only one reason a resident would leave for 6 months then return. My Accdeemic meetings were consisting of attending telling me “I have a target on my back now” and “ I have to preform even better than others” in the light of my time missed. If this wasn’t alienating enough, the majority of Resident events, sponsored by recruiters and my university revolved around alcohol to which I had to give some excuse to why I can not partake with others. I’m fortunate that I do not have an addiction, because these stressful conditions along with the daunting amount of dead and requirements imposed by PRN are enough to make any addict relapse. While I was at treatment, I was in the dative with Samyr stories a physicians whose addictions got the best of them. Physicians who did not make it to treatment, often taking their own life. These stories were presented as a warning. Your addictions will kill you without our treatment was the message. When, in reality I did not hear one story in which the addiction killed physician. Every physician who didn’t make it to treatment took their life after being told they must report to a treatment facility. Perhaps they knew what this entailed and it was not their addiction or getting caught which caused them to end their lives, but the unmanageable and often unreasonable burden that treatment would put on their lives.
9 How to escape So your fucked your in PRN and should be or you should and now your recovered and want to terminated your contract.

1. You ask to be released early done at 1/2 time ( good luck)
2. You have “good reason” (no one has ever been let out of contract because of this reason, the verbiage is far too vague)
3. You serve all your time and they let you out(maybe, as discussed earlier, they would do everything they can to keep you in your contract as long as your practicing)
4. You can’t practice medicine anymore

10 Layer up butter cup : I cannot emphasize the extent to which legal help is required in this process. You much seek it and seek it early. Lawyers can provide many avenues to you early in the process. Once you have committed to treatment, gone for evaluation or are in a PRN contract , this is very little that you or legal help can do. Spend a few thousand dollars when you are accused and save the 20-30,000 later.
After you have been evaluated if you disagree as I did, then this is the process you must undergo. 1. Hire a occupation, defense, lawyer 2. Prove you don’t have an addiction, this is done by having an alternative evaluator with similar credentials state that either you don’t have an addiction or that PRN’s level of monitoring is not medically appropriate ( this will need to be a multi day neuropsychological evaluation, which will cost about $5000). 3. Your lawyer must draft in writing that the medical level of monitoring is not required such as another medical professional and send this to PRN 4. PRN will tattle on you to the board of medicine. 5. The board of medicine will conduct an investigation. 6. At the end or when they believe they have enough reasonable evidence to the board of medicine will suspend your license or claim, you must comply with the PRN contract to practice. 7. At this time your lawyer will defend you in the state court against the board. This is costly but much less than the coast of a 5 year PRN contract 8. If you win you will likely suggest an alternative level of care such as gonna get therapy every week. If you lose, than you wasted a fuck ton of money and are still bound by your PRN contract.
Overall this entire process has coast me Over all coast:
My finances for this year only including PRN and rent are as follows:
120-200$ every week for testing 480-800/ month
65 every week for therapy 195/month
125 every month for PRN group
About 50-69 every month for 2 doctor apts
So at least 745$/month at the lowest
Treatment at the recovery center coast 20,000 for me out of pocket and
I wasn’t payed for 6 months with no FMLA because I am a first year. At the 1 year mark I will have made 26,000 this year after taxes And payed About 29,000 on PRN alone
Rent is 1,000 so that’s 12,000 a year
Just in rent and PRN alone I will be at 26,000- 41,600 -15,600.
I will be in debt by at least 18,000 at the 1 year mark
Coast of treatment center 20,000 (with insurance) For each year of PRN roughly 20,000 Add that to 6 months of attending salary which was delayed due to my treatment time: at least 150,000 Layer coasts along with other evaluations 25,000 Missing 6 months of residency pay 30,000 Coast of 1 year in monitoring: 245,000 Coast of 5 years 325,000
If my case progress to a trail I will require an extra 20,000 in court coasts
Chapter 11 My secondary eval: Dr sushi After I arrived at my treatment center I challenge my evaluation multiple times. Each and every time I was discharged and often accused of alternate mental health/ substance abuse issues to discourage my advances. I was never given the opportunity to undergo alternative assessment, however PRN guidelines state that you can obtain a second option within 7 days of your first. This is a mute point, however, because you will not receive the results of your evaluation until over a week after it is conducted and the second evaluation must be conducted by another PRN hired evaluator of their choosing. During my stay in rehab I contacted PRN multiple times to attempt another evaluation/ legal help. They warned against both stating they were a “waste of money” and “pointless”.
After completing my treatment with the guidance of many addiction, experienced physicians, mental health counselors and psychiatrists recommendations I sought in a secondary evaluation. I chose a highly qualified professional with over 30 years of experience to conduct an extensive neuo psycho social evaluation of me. One that I was sure would be more extensive than the evaluation I received at treatment and more importantly an unbiased evaluation.
The results from my evaluation not only showed that I did not have a substance abuse problem warranting PRN level monitoring, but also that PRN was falling to allow adequate treatment of other conditions such as my ADHD. My evaluation showed my ADHD was not only untreated by PRNs attempt at using non controlled medication, but also in the top 3% most severe presentations of ADHD. My evaluator went on to explain my results by questioning why my treatment center even mandated I undergo neuro cognitive evaluation. The only neurodiverse findings were my IQ, my dyslexia and my ADHD. However, a neuo cognitive examination can be billed separately by treatment centers, therefore they always recommend one.
Chapter 12 Amongst its greed, intrusive nature and faulty accusations, professional recourse network function highly proficiently at the task they were designed to; protective physicians and patients from physicians who are impaired at work. In this domain they save lives, offer second changes and protect the public. When they act beyond their intended jurisdiction by imposing unnecessary monetary demands on practitionersin training, accuse practitioners without proof or act on behavior exemplified outside of a work setting they unjustly and inappropriately attack the week and innocent.
Proposed reform: As a trainee my universities malpractice insurance covers me for mistakes made at work. If a learner mistakenly harms a patient, then the university stands on their behalf. If the learner does something wrong under a teachers direct guidance, then the teacher is at fault. This makes sense logically as well as pragmatically. The state entrusts large amounts of money to hospital systems and universities to train resident physicians. A portion of this money is allocated to malpractice insurance. This should extend to accused impairment.
Suppose a training university was required to cover rehabilitation and monitoring of a resident of whom they claim is impaired. Alternatively they have the option of firing the trainee. This would reduce the number of innocent trainees being accused of impairment, make the process of rehabilitation more fair and provide a better use for tax payer derived dollars, which hospital systems are given to train residents. The truly impaired could still seek help, less false accusations would be made and with the employers having the ability to fire at the moment of impairment, there would be less chance of impairment at work.

I need to create a diagram that shows routing of web services between different systems (in two countries) via a shared layer incorporating two different middlewares (simplified diagram attached as an example). There are only a few interfaces in the attached example, but we need to show about 70 interfaces.
We already have a tabular representation of this (a list of interfaces with client and host system), but we need a diagram/map that shows the routing of each web service.
The problems I encountered with the approach shown in the attached example are:

1. It is difficult to see where a web service enters and exits each middleware (you need to look for the interface number and you might miss an arrow exiting if there is more than one - i.e. it isn't always a one to one mapping)
2. Lines crossing each other make this difficult to read

Is there a standard form for this type of thing?
https://preview.redd.it/kyj95gcevq0d1.png?width=1920&format=png&auto=webp&s=81c73c33d3f5ebdff51659774d7d73805fe3e242

24, recently had to move back in with my parents after a fallout with roommates and my own mental health issues. I am grateful of course that my parents have let me move back in and have always said the offer is there if I need it.
My issue I'm finding though, is now after being back for approx. 5months, I'm finding I don't want to be home or around them as often as they are both hoarders (mum moreso than dad but still), they have their own health issues and I do take that into consideration but they aren't trying to actively help themselves or the house. They are aware of the state of the house and just point the finger at each other. I have helped tidy and clean a number of the rooms to help but they are already gradually building stuff back up.
I have spoken to my mum about seeing a professional to help her with the house but also the idea of counselling to support her in changing her habits and she is not against the idea, but weeks, hell months go by and nothing happens.
I am diagnosed with depression so I do understand the struggle, I really do. My mum is also going through her own issues with this, and I have tried doing my part to support her but it is hard when I have my own mental health to take care of as well.
I don't even know where I'm going with this post now.
Basically, I guess. How do you know where to draw the line? I want to support my mum and dad, it can't be my responsibility solely, but it feels as though if I'm not the one sorting the house out, then no one will, and I feel like I cant just continue to mention it or try to have the same conversation over and over again.
I guess I'm just asking for advice. How would you try and help them without wearing yourself down and affecting your own mental health?
Thanks in advance to anyone who offers their ideas and thoughts.

Context: Started at a 3PL warehouse 9 months ago as a Team leader was demoted & palmed off to a different department. My work ethic with previous employer was spotless but am now unmotivated and couldn’t care less.
I feel like I have an innate ability to know if someone is genuine or not bc I literally sensed red flags the first day I met my supervisor (who turned out to be a toothless, narcissistic and corrupted SOB, proving my first impression to be 100% correct)
I tried really hard to carry out my role but he constantly sabotaged my efforts by intentionally not training me or restricting me to tasks that weren’t mine to carry out. (Manager even admitted she knew he wasn’t training me)
I still had a good rapport with the team despite this but I felt guilty bc I really couldn’t support them with the minimal knowledge I had. Everything I knew by the 6 month mark, I had figured out for myself. I knew I hated how he played favouritism with admins & talked down to his hard working team but I couldn’t put my finger on why I despised him.
I was literally silent and only spoke when spoken to but was never insubordinate. I wouldn’t even laugh at his jokes. Got to the point where I was outwardly expressing that he was annoying by rolling my eyes or smacking my lips but it literally took everything in me not to because I could see straight through him & hated that he has gotten by however long he’s lived by projecting his insecurities on to everyone else.
Eventually got demoted & thrown into a diff department & now I can’t for the life of me muster up enough of facade to pretend I care. I hate that my employers values are not aligned with mine but I’m stuck in the mindset that it’s hard to find another job.
My employer has imposed a (somewhat fair) rule that there is to be no line of employees waiting by the clock out machine & that if we’re there earlier than 2:30pm we must clock out. The line of people are repeat offenders and yes I’m always in that line bc they are too lol & I hate that the wannabe “old timers or OG’s” literally clock out despite not being in the queue with the rest of us. Employer also pulled me in to HR and really tried to pressure me about taking carers leave even tho I had sufficient evidence and documentation. Since then, zero fks given.
I clock out a whole 10 mins early, bludge every time I see someone else bludge, take extended breaks and am unapologetic about making mistakes. I walk past the big bosses and HR office & I still don’t care. I think part of me wants to get let go or pulled up so I can tell em what’s up.. at least I’d have time to job hunt.
I don’t know what the point of this post is.

Hi guys, was listening to unit chatter in homeworld 3 and something in it didn't click with me. I wanted to figure out if I was wearing rose tinted glasses so I tried to find original homeworld unit chatter to compare.
In my memory I remember the voice acting being so subtle and stellar. I remember that damaged fighter pilots would nervously check if I knew what I was doing while at the same time somehow conveying a sense of unwavering loyalty to me. Telling me in their tone of voice that they would 100% die for me but at the same time didn't wish to be thrown away.
I remember crews speaking with military professionalism but yet unable to keep the panic completely out of their voice.
But yet, I can't remember a single actual line of dialogue. So who is to say I am remembering what the voice lines actually were versus what I felt they were when I played the game for the first time at 15.
Can anybody confirm or deny? I have listened to a little bit of chatter from Homeworld 3 and all I hear is the military professionalism without the heart.

ADC strength has hit an all time high, playing around bot is almost mandatory
And for Shyv a few change benefits her but most doesn't(doesn't hurt her either)
None of the new item fits her and the removal of Legend: Tenacity feels bad but Legend: Haste feels good, AD Shyv is pretty much unplayable now since tankiness went down across the game due to ADC being broken
AP Shyv feels good with PTA and Legend: Haste other than that I only change 1 thing on my build which is Magical Footwear to Cashback, Magical Footwear is more of a rune that help you reach your first item powerspike faster but after that it does nothing, Cash back help you accelerates your item completion beyond your first item which is where Shyv truely shines, one thing you may want to pay attention to is that Cash back actually gives you gold like Bounty Hunter rune and it seems to count toward team gold deficit and trigger objective bounty when you aren't really that far ahead
And the Exp change make me hit lv6 about 1 camp faster which is great
Jack Of All Trade is a trap that you don't want to fall into, getting 10 or even 5 stack is harder than you think due to jglers not able to purchase Doran's Blade(which gives 3 stats line), if you are too tunneled into stacking this rune and purchase item that is undesirable it will end up hurting you more than this rune would benefit you

Hello, fairly new to the game, hated it cuz I was getting destroyed in the beginning but this Reddit helped a lot with the learning and stuff and now I keep on playing and creating new battalions of brothers.
Since I didn't get very far to the story yet, I don't know what weapons I should expect to pop up and be "meta". What type of 2 handed weapons are a must in the crew? I got a 2H bro with very nice stats and his time for weapon specialization has come. And what number of 2h bros in a crew is ?optimal? if such thing exists. Usually I go 2 2H on the sides of front line looping around enemies, then the rest is shield tanks in front, polearms/javelins in the back
Thanks for all the advice <3.

Introduction

Shared office spaces, also known as co -working spaces, have become a popular choice for businesses, freelancers, and remote workers. Creating the perfect shared office space involves careful consideration of design elements and staying abreast of current trends. Here, we explore the key components and emerging trends that contribute to the ideal co -working environment.
1. Layout and Space PlanningOpen LayoutsAn open layout fosters collaboration and communication among coworkers. It allows for easy interaction, creating a dynamic and energetic atmosphere.Private AreasWhile open layouts are important, having private areas for meetings or focused work is equally crucial. These can include private offices, phone booths, and quiet zones.
2. Ergonomic FurnitureAdjustable Desks and ChairsInvesting in ergonomic furniture such as adjustable desks and chairs can significantly enhance comfort and productivity. Ergonomic designs reduce strain and prevent health issues associated with prolonged sitting.
Breakout FurnitureIncluding comfortable breakout furniture like sofas and lounge chairs provides relaxation spots for informal meetings or breaks, promoting a more inviting and flexible workspace.
3. Technology IntegrationHigh-Speed InternetReliable, high-speed internet is a non-negotiable element. It ensures seamless connectivity for all users, supporting various business operations and communication needs.
Smart Office SolutionsIncorporating smart office solutions such as app-controlled lighting, climate control, and booking systems for conference rooms can streamline operations and improve user experience.
4. Aesthetic and AmbianceNatural LightMaximizing natural light not only reduces energy consumption but also enhances the well-being and productivity of the space's occupants. Large windows and open spaces that allow for ample daylight are key.
Greenery and Biophilic DesignIncorporating plants and elements of nature into the office design can improve air quality and create a calming environment. Biophilic design, which integrates natural elements, has been shown to reduce stress and increase creativity.
5. Amenities and ServicesOn-Site Cafes and KitchensProviding access to on-site cafes or kitchen areas where members can prepare or purchase food and beverages can improve convenience and foster a sense of community.Wellness RoomsWellness rooms or areas designated for relaxation, meditation, or exercise can help occupants manage stress and maintain a healthy work-life balance.
6. Community and CollaborationEvent SpacesHaving areas that can be transformed for events, workshops, and networking sessions encourages community building and professional development.
Collaborative ToolsProviding tools such as whiteboards, projectors, and communal tables supports group work and brainstorming sessions, making it easier for teams to collaborate effectively.
7. Sustainability PracticesEnergy-Efficient SystemsImplementing energy-efficient lighting, heating, and cooling systems reduces the environmental impact and can lead to cost savings
.Recycling and Waste ManagementSetting up comprehensive recycling and waste management systems encourages sustainable practices among members and reduces the space’s carbon footprint.
8. Customization and FlexibilityModular FurnitureUsing modular furniture that can be easily reconfigured allows the space to adapt to different needs and preferences, providing flexibility for various events and working styles.
Personalized WorkspacesAllowing members to personalize their workspaces can increase comfort and satisfaction. This might include providing lockers, adjustable decor, and customizable desk setups.

The Role of Technology in Enhancing Shared Office Spaces

As the landscape of work continues to evolve, technology has become a pivotal element in shaping shared office spaces. These innovations not only boost productivity but also enhance the overall user experience. In this blog post, we delve into the key technological advancements that are transforming coworking environments.
1. High-Speed Internet and ConnectivityReliable Internet AccessThe backbone of any shared office space is a robust, high-speed internet connection. Reliable connectivity is essential for remote work, video conferencing, and cloud-based applications, ensuring seamless operations for all members.Wi-Fi 6 and BeyondAdopting the latest Wi-Fi technologies, such as Wi-Fi 6, provides faster speeds, increased capacity, and better performance in densely populated spaces, supporting the growing number of devices used by office members.
2. Smart Office SolutionsIntegrated Building Management SystemsSmart office solutions, such as integrated building management systems, automate control over lighting, heating, and cooling, creating a comfortable and energy-efficient environment. These systems can be managed through centralized platforms or mobile apps, offering convenience and customization.Occupancy SensorsUtilizing occupancy sensors helps manage space efficiently by monitoring usage patterns. These sensors can adjust lighting and climate control based on real-time occupancy, ensuring resources are used only when needed.
3. Advanced Security MeasuresBiometric Access ControlBiometric access control systems, such as fingerprint or facial recognition, enhance security by restricting unauthorized entry. These systems are more secure than traditional keycards or passwords and provide a seamless access experience for users.Surveillance SystemsHigh-definition surveillance cameras and AI-powered monitoring systems help maintain a secure environment. These systems can detect unusual activities and alert security personnel, ensuring the safety of office members.
4. Collaboration ToolsCloud-Based PlatformsCloud-based collaboration platforms like Google Workspace, Microsoft 365, and Slack enable seamless communication and project management. These tools support file sharing, real-time collaboration, and team communication, facilitating efficient workflows.Interactive WhiteboardsInteractive whiteboards and digital flip charts are valuable tools for brainstorming sessions and presentations. They allow teams to collaborate in real-time, even with remote participants, enhancing creativity and productivity.
5. Virtual and Augmented RealityVirtual Reality (VR) Meeting RoomsVR technology is revolutionizing remote collaboration by creating immersive meeting experiences. VR meeting rooms allow participants to interact in a virtual space, providing a sense of presence and engagement that traditional video conferencing lacks.Augmented Reality (AR) for Design and PlanningAR can be used to visualize office layouts and designs, enabling better space planning and customization. By overlaying digital information onto the physical world, AR helps in making informed decisions about furniture placement and office design.
6. Mobile and Remote AccessMobile Apps for Office ManagementMobile apps designed for shared office spaces offer features like room booking, event registration, and community networking. These apps provide members with easy access to office resources and streamline administrative tasks.Remote Access SolutionsWith the rise of remote work, technologies that support secure remote access to office networks and resources are crucial. VPNs and cloud-based services ensure that members can work from anywhere without compromising security or productivity.
7. Health and Wellness TechnologiesAir Quality MonitorsMaintaining good air quality is essential for a healthy workspace. Air quality monitors track levels of pollutants and ensure ventilation systems are functioning properly, creating a healthier environment for office members.Wellness Apps and WearablesWellness apps and wearable devices can encourage healthier lifestyles by promoting physical activity, providing stress management resources, and offering health tracking features. Integrating these technologies into the office ecosystem supports the well-being of members.

Conclusion

Technology plays a crucial role in enhancing shared office spaces, driving productivity, security, and overall user satisfaction. From high-speed internet and smart office solutions to advanced collaboration tools and wellness technologies, these innovations are transforming how we work and interact within coworking environments. As technology continues to advance, shared office spaces will undoubtedly evolve, offering even more sophisticated and efficient solutions to meet the diverse needs of the modern workforce.Designing the perfect shared office space involves balancing functionality, aesthetics, and community needs. By focusing on key elements such as layout, ergonomic furniture, technology, and sustainability, and by staying aware of emerging trends, you can create a coworking environment that is both productive and enjoyable. As the nature of work continues to evolve, so too should the design of shared office spaces, ensuring they remain conducive to the diverse needs of their users.

My boyfriend (19M) and I (20F) have been together for a year and a half. In the beginning, when any problem arise, we'd waste no time in talking to each other about it and we'd make sure we both don't go to bed upset. The conversations would be really understanding gentle and empathetic. He'd hold my hand and wipe my tears even when we haven't fixed the issue yet. He'd waste no time to bring me in for a hug at the first sight of me crying. Sometimes he'd cry when i cry. The thoughts in my head could escape my mouth so effortlessly when he'd listen to me while rubbing my back or just physically showing me that he is with me and that we aren't against each other. We'd never be fine with prolonging our ill feelings. Even though it took us a few arguments to get to where we were, we got there eventually :]
However recently, it has just been feeling way harder to talk to him about how I feel and I think it goes both ways. Sometimes I would get upset at the tone he is speaking to me in, and he'd explain that it's just the way he speaks. At this, I'd feel bad and that I was being sensitive and feel the need to apologize. Sometimes, when i bring up a problem, the tone he speaks in would change and it would scare me. I'd start trying really hard to make sure that he knows that I'm not against him, and that I just want to fix the issue. I'd voice out my concerns and sometimes it feels like he's taking it as attacks. I voice out because I value and care about our relationship. Instead of staying quiet, I chose to speak up about what's bothering me. If the assumptions I made were wrong I'd like for him to correct me and to reassure me. But many times, he'd get upset. I would again feel really bad for speaking up, start scrambling to make it very clear that I am not trying to fight him. I use to be really blunt and comfortable with telling him things but now I find myself second guessing and feeling scared. It's very hard for me to articulate my thoughts and to explain to a manner which he'd understand and sometimes I'd talk about how i feel for a good 5 minutes to be met with 'okay' and he'd go straight to asking me why i did certain things that upset him which i have no problems with asking and holding myself accountable for. I will give my apology where it is due and I want to give him what he deserves the best I can.
Last night, I made a mistake. During a heated arguement over the phone, the pace really started to pick up and he said "I can't-". Before he could finish, I cut him off by saying "you always do this" and hung. I was scared that he was going to say he needs time and space. I ended the call because I was scared of hearing that from him so I thought I'd leave first so it would hurt less. It didn't. It was wrong and hasty of me. That night, I was having trouble trying to sleep and just cried my eyes out after hanging up. I saw that he was online on steam which i was expecting. During the argument, he told me that his friend wanted to play with him at 9 (at this point it was around almost 11) and that he'd stayed because he feels guilty and that something is holding him back. At this, I was upset because I wish he'd told me earlier and that i wish he'd said "Actually my friend asked if I wanted to play with him but I'm not going to leave until we're fine or we talk this out" instead of not leaving because he feels guilty and something was holding him back as it made me feel really sad. He replied by saying that that's exactly what went through his head, it's just that he didn't say it/ it didn't come out of him.
But back to after the call ended, I cried and cried until 5am. I saw that he was online on steam (until before 5am) and automatically assumed that he was playing with his friend which I was glad about because I felt bad for his friend and him. I texted him to apologize for how things went last night and that it was wrong of me to end the call like that with that reason. I told him that i hope he got to play with his friend with a smiley face. I wished him a goodnight and sweet dreams and i told him i hope he knows how much i love him. I apologized again and told him I had no intentions to hurt him and that i was genuinely trying really hard to keep the conversation gentle and understanding. I thanked him for wanting to talk to me before playing with his friend if he did end up doing that and how i appreciate it a lot. I also asked him to text me when he's up and and that i love him again.
He replied to me at 12:30, after or during his class. This is what he replied to me with:
im sorry things went the way it did as well and i did see your tweets, its okay. i don't know how to feel about you hanging up because you were scared id say something along the lines of that and because that youd be left alone, it feels wrong, but i appreciate you telling me that. to be truthful, i feel mentally tired and overwhelmed, and im really feeling like i need some space.
I was really sad and worried that he didn't say he loves me back even though i said it twice. But i replied to him saying i understand, and i asked him if we will be fine. I also sent him this text:
and can we please find some time, maybe not today or tomorrow, to sit down and really talk it through with an open mind and heart?
I understand that you need space and that's what I am to give you but for now, i need reassurance on these things as i really cant handle no contact without at least reassurance please :/
I saw him typing, but I didn't get a reply and it's been almost 3 hours. For context, last week he did not reply to me for almost a day after an argument. I freaked out and called him no less than 100 times, asked his friwnds and sister where he went and if he's okay. They couldn't reach him (his sister had to get him through the house phone). He finally replied to me apologizing and we talked about the issue. I decided to be honest with him and in a long paragraph told him i dont do silence really well because it feels like he doesnt care or love me enough to wonder if im doing well because i was going crazy at the silence from his end(i said more but to make things short,). It was really bad to the point where i walked outside at night to distract myself and ended upvomitting on the side of the road. He said he understands and apoligized. He said it's the worse he's handled an argument and tried really hard to assure me that he loves me and we fine and back to normal. I felt okay and relieved at that point.
But now this is happening. I feel sad because it feels like he's forgotten about what i said last week. But at the same time, I feel really conflicted and I want to give him what he needs. I would do anything for our relationsip to be better. I want him to be happy. I'm trying my very hardest to be the best partner for him. I care about and value our relationship so much, and he still hasn't given me the reassurance i need in order to feel slightly fine about the distance. I do not know why and I'm spiralling worrying about why he hasn't replied to me.
I reallly want this relationship to work I love him so much and I know he loves me too. I acknowledge that things arent the same anymore and he might need different things now. I feel the key to this is to find a balance which we're struggling with. He is my best friend and makes me feel the most comfortable. I love being in my presence and he is my best friend. I wish to spend my whole life with this boy. Please help I tried so hard to keep myself together today and broke down in class :(

I broke up with my ex-boyfriend almost a year ago because he wasn’t willing to work on the relationship. When I talked over problems with him, he would sometimes promise to make changes but wouldn’t follow through. Eventually, he started asking me to limit how much I was talking to him about problems. He never brought up any issues himself but when I would complain about something, he would respond by bringing up all of his own frustrations.
I got to the point where I wasn’t willing to live with the ongoing problems. Since there was no effective way for me to address them, I broke things off. He didn’t take it very well and I ended up blocking his number because he kept texting me.
It was an emotional and frustrating break up for me. I liked him a lot and had tried everything to make things work. It was frustrating to me that he would never really understand my reasons behind breaking up and I would often wish I could have gotten him to understand.
A couple of weeks ago my ex messaged me on Facebook out of the blue to tell me he had gotten engaged. I sent him a polite response in return but it really hurt. It brought up all the frustrations and the pain of breaking up again.
This happened at a bad time for me. The past few months have been very stressful. I’ve got a lot going on and some big things in play so I’ve been pretty keyed up most of the time.
With all the other stress I have been under, his text stuck with me and kept eating at me. Maybe if it had been a better time for me, I could have just let it go and moved on. Instead, a couple of days later I ended up writing him a long message that laid out many of the frustrations I’ve grappled with all this time. I was very blunt and put no effort into being tactful or gentle.
He responded and argued a few points, then let me know that my words hurt. Now I feel conflicted.
On one hand, he knew I had blocked him and found a way to reach out to me that was still accessible. He chose to ignore the fact that I had asked him to stop contacting me in the past. I don’t think I have to worry anymore about him contacting me again by any means.
On the other hand, I sent words knowing they would be hurtful and they were. I guess the bottom line is that I kind of feel like an asshole for hurting him, especially when he's just gotten engaged.
Was I an asshole for sending him the message?

My boyfriend (19M) and I (20F) have been together for a year and a half. In the beginning, when any problem arise, we'd waste no time in talking to each other about it and we'd make sure we both don't go to bed upset. The conversations would be really understanding gentle and empathetic. He'd hold my hand and wipe my tears even when we haven't fixed the issue yet. He'd waste no time to bring me in for a hug at the first sight of me crying. Sometimes he'd cry when i cry. The thoughts in my head could escape my mouth so effortlessly when he'd listen to me while rubbing my back or just physically showing me that he is with me and that we aren't against each other. We'd never be fine with prolonging our ill feelings. Even though it took us a few arguments to get to where we were, we got there eventually :]
However recently, it has just been feeling way harder to talk to him about how I feel and I think it goes both ways. Sometimes I would get upset at the tone he is speaking to me in, and he'd explain that it's just the way he speaks. At this, I'd feel bad and that I was being sensitive and feel the need to apologize. Sometimes, when i bring up a problem, the tone he speaks in would change and it would scare me. I'd start trying really hard to make sure that he knows that I'm not against him, and that I just want to fix the issue. I'd voice out my concerns and sometimes it feels like he's taking it as attacks. I voice out because I value and care about our relationship. Instead of staying quiet, I chose to speak up about what's bothering me. If the assumptions I made were wrong I'd like for him to correct me and to reassure me. But many times, he'd get upset. I would again feel really bad for speaking up, start scrambling to make it very clear that I am not trying to fight him. I use to be really blunt and comfortable with telling him things but now I find myself second guessing and feeling scared. It's very hard for me to articulate my thoughts and to explain to a manner which he'd understand and sometimes I'd talk about how i feel for a good 5 minutes to be met with 'okay' and he'd go straight to asking me why i did certain things that upset him which i have no problems with asking and holding myself accountable for. I will give my apology where it is due and I want to give him what he deserves the best I can.
Last night, I made a mistake. During a heated arguement over the phone, the pace really started to pick up and he said "I can't-". Before he could finish, I cut him off by saying "you always do this" and hung. I was scared that he was going to say he needs time and space. I ended the call because I was scared of hearing that from him so I thought I'd leave first so it would hurt less. It didn't. It was wrong and hasty of me. That night, I was having trouble trying to sleep and just cried my eyes out after hanging up. I saw that he was online on steam which i was expecting. During the argument, he told me that his friend wanted to play with him at 9 (at this point it was around almost 11) and that he'd stayed because he feels guilty and that something is holding him back. At this, I was upset because I wish he'd told me earlier and that i wish he'd said "Actually my friend asked if I wanted to play with him but I'm not going to leave until we're fine or we talk this out" instead of not leaving because he feels guilty and something was holding him back as it made me feel really sad. He replied by saying that that's exactly what went through his head, it's just that he didn't say it/ it didn't come out of him.
But back to after the call ended, I cried and cried until 5am. I saw that he was online on steam (until before 5am) and automatically assumed that he was playing with his friend which I was glad about because I felt bad for his friend and him. I texted him to apologize for how things went last night and that it was wrong of me to end the call like that with that reason. I told him that i hope he got to play with his friend with a smiley face. I wished him a goodnight and sweet dreams and i told him i hope he knows how much i love him. I apologized again and told him I had no intentions to hurt him and that i was genuinely trying really hard to keep the conversation gentle and understanding. I thanked him for wanting to talk to me before playing with his friend if he did end up doing that and how i appreciate it a lot. I also asked him to text me when he's up and and that i love him again.
He replied to me at 12:30, after or during his class. This is what he replied to me with:
im sorry things went the way it did as well and i did see your tweets, its okay. i don't know how to feel about you hanging up because you were scared id say something along the lines of that and because that youd be left alone, it feels wrong, but i appreciate you telling me that. to be truthful, i feel mentally tired and overwhelmed, and im really feeling like i need some space.
I was really sad and worried that he didn't say he loves me back even though i said it twice. But i replied to him saying i understand, and i asked him if we will be fine. I also sent him this text:
and can we please find some time, maybe not today or tomorrow, to sit down and really talk it through with an open mind and heart?
I understand that you need space and that's what I am to give you but for now, i need reassurance on these things as i really cant handle no contact without at least reassurance please :/
I saw him typing, but I didn't get a reply and it's been almost 3 hours. For context, last week he did not reply to me for almost a day after an argument. I freaked out and called him no less than 100 times, asked his friwnds and sister where he went and if he's okay. They couldn't reach him (his sister had to get him through the house phone). He finally replied to me apologizing and we talked about the issue. I decided to be honest with him and in a long paragraph told him i dont do silence really well because it feels like he doesnt care or love me enough to wonder if im doing well because i was going crazy at the silence from his end(i said more but to make things short,). It was really bad to the point where i walked outside at night to distract myself and ended upvomitting on the side of the road. He said he understands and apoligized. He said it's the worse he's handled an argument and tried really hard to assure me that he loves me and we fine and back to normal. I felt okay and relieved at that point.
But now this is happening. I feel sad because it feels like he's forgotten about what i said last week. But at the same time, I feel really conflicted and I want to give him what he needs. I would do anything for our relationsip to be better. I want him to be happy. I'm trying my very hardest to be the best partner for him. I care about and value our relationship so much, and he still hasn't given me the reassurance i need in order to feel slightly fine about the distance. I do not know why and I'm spiralling worrying about why he hasn't replied to me.
I reallly want this relationship to work I love him so much and I know he loves me too. I acknowledge that things arent the same anymore and he might need different things now. I feel the key to this is to find a balance which we're struggling with. He is my best friend and makes me feel the most comfortable. I love being in my presence and he is my best friend. I wish to spend my whole life with this boy. Please help I tried so hard to keep myself together today and broke down in class :(

Ever since hearing the album two years ago, I could spend most of my time gushing about Science Fiction not just as another great Brand New album but how it just works as the final Brand New album too. And that's nowhere as relevant than with the closer, Batter Up. At 8 and a half minutes, breaking Limousine's record for the longest Brand New song at 7 minutes and 42 seconds, it's an incredibly somber and mellow number that ultimately looks band on the band's illustrious career as emo legends over the last 17 years. Jesse perfectly paints the picture here of how he never thought Brand New would be this career-defining moment for him and how much his commitment would take him all over the world. But at the same time, he yearns for that life he never had, one where Brand New wasn't his primary focus and one where he wasn't tormented by his past actions. But the interesting aspect about the song is how despite these feelings of regret, there's a bittersweet optimism of accepting the hand you're dealt with whatever curveballs life throws at you and making the most of it. "Batter up, give me your best shot". Feels so damn appropriate to use an American favorite pasttime as a metaphor for it, simple but effective. And then comes the bridge, perhaps the most important line in the whole song. "Lose whoever you once were, died and returned to the earth" Even though this line is interpreted as a sign of alienation from those around you as well as a loss of self-identity, I infer it as a personal message from Jesse to the fans. "Lose who you once were" Essentially saying, "don't be like me, make peace with your demons, get closure etc." And the feeling of optimism returns with the next line "Found ourselves back in love" (Nice reference to aloC-acoC) In a way, it reminds me of another emo legend's final closing statement, Stay True by Thursday with how Geoff asks of the bands that looked up to them as inspirations to not make the mistakes he did, even though Geoff and Jesse are kinda miles apart as people but I digress. Ultimately, Batter Up is perhaps the most appropriate way for a band to curtain call their career on. Not on a loud note with smashed guitars but akin to a quiet walkout of the theater as the credits roll. And the final chorus exemplifies perfectly with how Brand New's music will live on in our hearts (and in our earphones/speakers) "Batter up, never gets forgot" Sorry for the rambling but I just had to get this off my chest for a song that means a lot to me.

I wrote this as a comment originally in another sub, but I needed to rant more vocally and I felt like there’d be some sympathetic ears here.
I work at a gas station, and for some reason that translates into me not deserving nice things in America. I kinda had no idea how much our society fucking hates service workers till I started working here full-time back in January.
It’s honestly kind of fucked: half the people I work with have kids, and have worked here for years. I’m lucky in that I don’t have kids and am able to live with family for cheap rent, but this is very much not the norm at my place of work. We get paid on average between 17.50-19.50 an hour (in CA, where the cheapest rent you can find is a $1300/mo studio), we get to earn 4 PTO days a year (which are not guaranteed to be accepted when I request them, and no designated sick days), our hours are not guaranteed, we don’t have a retirement plan outside of the option to maybe put money into an IRA on our own initiative, and we can and will be let go even for basic mistakes at times (“right to work” my ass, fuck at-will employment). We technically have health insurance, but it’s both expensive and dogshit.
It’s crazy how little we learned from COVID too: if someone at my work gets sick, they usually have to come in. They can’t afford to miss a day, especially considering the CoL here in California. So, what happens is that one person (or their usually small children) will get sick, and then the rest of us also get sick and also have to come into work. Then we handle your food, your cash, your condoms, your cigarettes, your alcohol, and stand much less than 6 feet away from you at a register with no PPE provided.
During COVID, my co-workers (I was in college during COVID) had to come into work because they were ‘essential’. Yet, pretty much constantly we don’t get treated like we’re essential. Probably about 25ish percent of our customers treat us like fucking garbage. I’ve been screamed at before by customers for asking for ID (which is the law for selling tobacco/alcohol here), I’ve been screamed at for taking more than 30 seconds to get to a person in line, and I have had to do stuff that is not in my job description ranging from: administering first aid, playing therapist to people, car maintenance, sheltering people after severe car crashes when the highway patrol drops them off, scaring off meth-heads, and de-escalating potentially violent situations with drunk people who are pissed I can’t sell them alcohol at 3am on a Monday. Honestly, this job isn’t even that bad compared to many other places that employ service workers. If I go online and complain about any of this, I’ll have like, scores of people tell me, “well, you don’t work a real job, what do you expect?”
I’ve even had my own family tell me that my job isn’t a “real job”, and they’re not even assholes.
Personally, my response to anyone that tells me I don’t work a “real” job (and therefore don’t deserve things like a living wage or sick pay) is this: if you really think that, then try not getting gas, going to a grocery store, getting fast food, buying clothes, or any other service that requires service workers. Then tell me I don’t serve a necessary function in society, and don’t deserve benefits.
Edit: Don’t even get me started on our janitorial staff. The things those poor fuckers have to clean up in our restroom 3 times a day are fucking ludicrous. They get paid as much as I do, and have the same benefits. One of our janitors just finished her bachelor’s, and is currently getting her Master’s.
Edit 2: I have 4 associates degrees, and was one year away from finishing my double major at a T10 before I had to drop out due to medical reasons.
Edit 3: I just wanna share one of my co-worker’s experience, because it’s depressing as hell. She’s 26, and has two kids (6 and 2). She splits a small studio with her boyfriend. She works nights and watches the kids during the day, he works days and watches the kids at night. They both drive 40+ minutes to work, and need to upkeep two cars so that they can both get to their separate work spaces. She’s been so sick the last week that she’s hacking up mucus most of the day. She can’t take the day off, or she can’t make rent. She also cleans the coffee pots and other dishes, handles food, and is in close proximity to the rest of us. Naturally, everyone else in my workplace is now becoming sick (including me). The poor thing can wear a mask, but like… Jesus. This is fucking untenable. It’s shameful.