7 minutes in heaven quiz dirty long results
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2014.06.16 00:48 I_AM_A_IDIOT_AMA I_AM_A_IDIOT_AMA
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2013.03.13 05:57 JF_Queeny GMO Myths
Every mods of /GMOMyths are either shills or highly mentally disturbed - u/They_Wont
2024.04.29 17:25 AutumnsFall101 [Fallout Elections] The 2nd Garvey Administration (2327-2331]
![[Fallout Elections] The 2nd Garvey Administration (2327-2331]](https://preview.redd.it/7enwxhj7sfxc1.jpeg?width=640&crop=smart&auto=webp&s=65909f34d72aa58c5345de87c4f2c5bd6c66981e "[Fallout Elections] The 2nd Garvey Administration (2327-2331]") | Composition of the Second Garvey Administration: submitted by AutumnsFall101 to imaginaryelections [link] [comments] President: Preston Garvey Speaker of the House of Representatives: Sydney Phillips Treasurer: Drake Ablton Secretary of Agriculture: Hunter Abernathy General of the Minutemen: Nathan McGraw Admiral of the Commonwealth Navy: Ellen Waverly Composition of the House: Commonwealth: 30 Seats Manifest Destiny: 22 Seats Popular Party: 19 seats Far Harbor First: 17 Seats Acadian League: 7 Seats Independent: 5 seats The Second Garvey Administration: On October 23rd 2327, the Commonwealth narrowly voted to reelect the incumbent President Garvey and the Popular-Commonwealth Coalition, with a few independents included into this mixture. However the President was heavily concerned with the rapid growth of the Far Harbor First party and the Secessionist Acadian League. He feared that if action was not taken, war would once again consume the island. Thus on December 25th, the Christmas Accords were held where representatives from both Acadia and Far Harbor met to discuss the future of the island after the collapse of the Children of Atom. After days of negotiations, an agreement between all parties came to be. The island of Far Harbor would be split into two semi-independent protectorates, Far Harbor and Acadia. Acadia’s territories would be South of Beaver Creek Lanes bowling alley through to Kitteredge Pass before ending at the VIM! Pop Factory with Far Harbor getting everything besides that. Furthermore both protectorates would agree to respect the religious liberties of the remaining Children of Atom insofar that they do not engage in future hostilities. To decrease the strain on these territories, a bill would be passed on February 12th of 2328 that would make it so that the territories would not be obligated to pay taxes to the Commonwealth. This was justified on the ground that the cost of collecting taxes from the island far outweighed any revenue received. Most of the representatives from Far Harbor left feeling satisfied by the Accords however the feelings of the Acadian League were far more mixed with some desiring a totally independent nation for Synthetics, but nonetheless the peace would remain on the island for the time being. After dealing with the Secessionist Crisis, the 2nd Garvey Administration began a series of reforms to the Minutemen to improve its effectiveness based on the experiences of the Far Harbor campaign. First was the standardization of equipment. The CR-72 Combat Rifle and M-199 Assault Rifle was phased out and replaced with the AK Platform based on the “Handmade rifles” used by the Nuka-World raiders during the siege of Nuka-World due to their ease of manufacturing, greater stopping power and increased magazine capacity. The M-199 would now be designed as a machine gun to be used for suppressive fire, and the Laser Musket already being phased out of the Minutemen by the start of the Far Harbor Campaign would be relegated to training, ceremonial purposes and to a lesser extent for designated snipers (although most snipers would prefer the Gauss Rifle or .45-70 Lever Actions found in Far Harbor). Artillery pieces would also be placed throughout the East Coast of various settlements and towns of Far Harbor to bombard any enemy attempting to attack. The Commonwealth Navy also took initiative to greatly bolster its fleet, including getting the USS Democracy found in the Nucleus back to working order. On July 9th of 2328, The Garvey Administration created the Department of Agriculture to be lead by Hunter Abernathy, owner of Abernathy Farm and an expert in agricultural management. The population of the Commonwealth had grown at a rapid pace over the last twenty years, and the crop yield couldn’t keep up with demand. In order to feed the growing number of mouths in the Commonwealth, under Abernathy, the Garvey Administration began providing farmers with fertilizer and pesticides, began the construction of new tractors, and even tasked the people working at the Diamond City Science Center to come up with pest resistant crops to be grown. On October 17th a Skirmish would take place between Minutemen soldiers and a group of Children of Atom called The Order of the Nucleus in the Glowing Grove. The battle would result in 12 Minutemen killed and 27 Children of Atom killed, with dozens more wounded or captured. Sentiment of the Children of Atom in the Commonwealth had over the years went from indifferent to outright hostile despite the best effort of the Garvey Administration to promote tolerance towards non-violent members of the faith. These relationships would drop to a new low on November 9th 2328 when citizens from the town of Salem marched to Kingsport Lighthouse to confront members of the Children of Atom about several missing settlers from the town. There they found out the those Children of Atom had been sacrificing settlers to a Glowing One kept at the top of the lighthouse. In response, the members would be dragged back to Salem by an angry mob, and much like the witch trials centuries ago, the Children of Atom were burnt at the stake for their transgression. The accusation of blood libel and human sacrifice would be attached to all members of the Children of Atom for decades and centuries to come. In the start of the second year of the 2nd Garvey Administration, Garvey would in an attempt to please the increasingly restless Manifest Destiny Party allow a minor military expedition into Rhode Island, in particular into the county of Newport as a way of getting more control of the Taunton River. On March 28th 2329, 100 Minutemen would march into the town of Tiverton under the command of Colonel Drew Long. Surprisingly, the locals happily accepted them in the hopes they would defeat the Raiders living in Little Compton and Fort Adam, also known as the Backroads. Thus on April 2nd, the March on Backroads began when Long ordered his men to take out the raiders there. After ten days of fighting, Blackjack, the raiderboss of region was captured in Fort Adam after days of bombardment by artillery and a siege of the fort. Thus the process of integrating Eastern Rhode Island and settling the city of Little Compton with Settlers had begun. In November the Supreme Court of the Commonwealth would be put to the test on the issue of Douglass v the Commonwealth. Although historically the Commonwealth had been highly secular due to a lack of proper organization, with the support of General Nate McGraw, the Commonwealth has seen a return of the Roman Catholic Church as a spiritual authority. Although officially still following orders from Rome, in practice the various Catholic priests of the Commonwealth hold yearly meetings to discuss issues facing the church and to resolve doctrinal disputes in absence of his holiness. However Jack Douglass from the town of Starlight has challenged a ruling by the Commonwealth House of Representatives which would have allocated some federal funding to the rebuilding and maintenance of various Catholic Churches. Jack Douglass argued that historically the US government held up the separation of Church and State, and thus the use of his tax dollars to fund religious institutions go against that tradition. The Garvey Administration argued that they were not violating the separation of Church and State, but giving funds to help people fix already existing infrastructure and that the separation of Church and State mainly applied to preventing the creation of a State Religion. Garvey clarified that he would be more than willing to help support any religious center for the people of the Commonwealth. On April 2nd 2330 In a 4 to 3 decision, it was agreed that simply funding religious buildings for their construction did not violate the separation of church and state. The rest of the third year of the 2nd Garvey Administration would be fairly calm beyond the reactivation of the USS Democracy into the Commonwealth Navy. At in January of 2331 during his State of the Commonwealth address, President Garvey announced that he would not be seeking a third, wishing to replicate the tradition of American Presidents of days gone by and wanting to enjoy a quiet retirement. He also announced that after much conversation the representatives of the Popular Party as well as the Commonwealth party had agreed to unify into a singular party, the United Commonwealth Party. At the end of his second term, Garvey oversaw a peaceful settlement of the Far Harbor issue, expanded the Commonwealth into Rhode Island, and greatly improved and modernized the military. However many are worried about the future of the Commonwealth Party as Garvey plans to retire. There are debates about how should the leader of the party should be chosen as before it had mainly been an internal affair. There is also a growing desire in the Commonwealth to throw their ever growing weight around New England. |
2024.04.29 17:21 cabby22 Perpetually on the Fence re: Surgery
Hey all, I appreciate this sub and being able to read through everyone's stories.
I've been dealing with right leg sciatica all the way down to my heel for about 7 months; don't know what initially caused it but it could have been a collision in ice hockey about 9 months ago. I went to urgent care after a couple months of pain and then to PT for 10 weeks. PT felt good but the pain always came back after a couple hours. I never improved and was released. Got an MRI in January and have the common L5-S1 disc herniation pushing on the S1 nerve root.
We tried an ESI but it did not help (also hurt a lot! and just made the few days after it even worse).
I can't sit without nerve/leg pain, and the pain starts creeping up with standing as well. The most relief I get is lying down on my stomach (sometimes on my back if I'm on something firm). I actually can exercise and generally feel good during/after for a while. I do have to take ibuprofen every 4 hours or the pain creeps in; also taking gabapentin sporadically but I don't think it helps that much. I'm woken up in the middle of the night with pain/stiffness, take ibuprofen, and wait for it to kick in before getting back to sleep.
My orthopedist recommended surgery, but I've had some issues getting cleared for it (high blood pressure and A1C, and my PCP recommended getting cardiac clearance which took a few weeks) that I am working to resolve, but as I do, I keep second guessing whether I can just live with this and hope it resolves, or really need to get the surgery, as I'm not in debilitating pain as many others seem to be.
I keep seeing the stat about how results are similar after 2 years whether you get surgery or not. Figure I've made it 7 months... but hate relying on ibuprofen. I have two kids (3 and 5) and am just dreading the post-surgery (temporary) restrictions but also am not that useful to them when I am lying on the floor all day. Also worried to lose playing tennis and hockey for a while; not sure how long it will take to be comfortable getting back into those. On the other hand I don't want to have permanent nerve issues.
Is there really a chance the pain will go away on its own? I have PT stretches I can do at home (have been getting lax as I have tried to be resting as much as I can to see if that will help), but not sure what else I could be doing.
Here's the MRI report. I have the photos but it's basically the same as others on here.
submitted by cabby22 to Microdiscectomy [link] [comments]
I've been dealing with right leg sciatica all the way down to my heel for about 7 months; don't know what initially caused it but it could have been a collision in ice hockey about 9 months ago. I went to urgent care after a couple months of pain and then to PT for 10 weeks. PT felt good but the pain always came back after a couple hours. I never improved and was released. Got an MRI in January and have the common L5-S1 disc herniation pushing on the S1 nerve root.
We tried an ESI but it did not help (also hurt a lot! and just made the few days after it even worse).
I can't sit without nerve/leg pain, and the pain starts creeping up with standing as well. The most relief I get is lying down on my stomach (sometimes on my back if I'm on something firm). I actually can exercise and generally feel good during/after for a while. I do have to take ibuprofen every 4 hours or the pain creeps in; also taking gabapentin sporadically but I don't think it helps that much. I'm woken up in the middle of the night with pain/stiffness, take ibuprofen, and wait for it to kick in before getting back to sleep.
My orthopedist recommended surgery, but I've had some issues getting cleared for it (high blood pressure and A1C, and my PCP recommended getting cardiac clearance which took a few weeks) that I am working to resolve, but as I do, I keep second guessing whether I can just live with this and hope it resolves, or really need to get the surgery, as I'm not in debilitating pain as many others seem to be.
I keep seeing the stat about how results are similar after 2 years whether you get surgery or not. Figure I've made it 7 months... but hate relying on ibuprofen. I have two kids (3 and 5) and am just dreading the post-surgery (temporary) restrictions but also am not that useful to them when I am lying on the floor all day. Also worried to lose playing tennis and hockey for a while; not sure how long it will take to be comfortable getting back into those. On the other hand I don't want to have permanent nerve issues.
Is there really a chance the pain will go away on its own? I have PT stretches I can do at home (have been getting lax as I have tried to be resting as much as I can to see if that will help), but not sure what else I could be doing.
Here's the MRI report. I have the photos but it's basically the same as others on here.
L3-L4: Mild disc desiccation and disc bulge indenting the anterior thecal sac. Minimal bilateral foraminal compromise. Central canal is patent.
L4-L5: Mild disc bulge, facet arthropathy and some ligamentum flavum thickening. Mild bilateral foraminal compromise. Central canal is patent.
L5-S1: Disc herniation measures 20 mm in TR x 7 mm in AP x 11 mm in CC dimensions. There is mass effect on the right S1 nerve root. Neural foramina are patent.
CONCLUSION : 1. Lower lumbar spine degenerative changes. Mild bilateral foraminal compromise present at L4-5 and disc herniation with mass effect on the right S1 nerve root present at L5-S1.
2024.04.29 17:21 amberleesme AITA for cursing at my grandmother after she "accidentally" spilled wine all over me?
Hi everyone. First off, I'm kind of annoyed and angry as fuck right now so I apologise if this story is all over the place and is confusing to read. (Fake names will be used)
Here's a little contex first: My family consists of my Dad (47M), my Mom (45F), my brother, Alex (21M) and me, Amber (17F). I'm born in Canada but my family shifted to Singapore when I was about 6 months old since my dad got a great job offer there. My dad's second older brother also got an offer there so he moved with his family as well.
Okay first let me explain my dad's family tree so it doesn't get confusing. My dad has three brothers. The eldest brother (Bob, 52M) has a wife (Karen, 49F) two daughters (Emily, 24F and Erica, 18F) and a son (Aiden, 17M). The second eldest brother (Paul, 49M) (also the family that moved to Singapore with us) has a wife (Michelle, 45F) and two sons (Jaden, 20M and Matt, 18M). Then comes my dad and at last his youngest brother (Mike, 45M). He has a wife (Laura, 44F), two daughters (Mia, 12F and Jane, 7F) and a son (Jake, 6M). My grandfather passed away (R.I.P) when I was 12 and everyone was heartbroken to say the least. He was really the gem and glue of our family. My grandmother is still alive.
Now that the family tree is out of the way, let's get back to the story.
I lived in Singapore until I was 15. I had amazing friends and my life was just really peaceful there. I was really close to Paul's family and their kids because we were all around the same age. We also lived together for a few years before separating since my brother got admitted to a different primary school so we had to shift half an hour away from them. We were (and still are) inseparable and I love them to death. They are the best brothers I could ever ask for. Obviously there were times where they all ganged up on me to prank me since I was their only sister and the youngest. I still remember when we were younger and used to pretend we were youtubers. We used to record those videos on my mom's phone and I still have those videos. Okay, sorry for getting distracted I just wanted to share some sweet memories.
We used to visit my mom and dad's family once a year and flew over to Canada and I always had a great time with my cousins and relatives. I was and am still a shy kid so I didn't really talk much to the adults there other than small talk like how my studies are going. However, I was the complete opposite with my cousins. I was loud as fuck and was always hyper and excited about everything (please excuse me I was just a kid lol). I was especially close to Bob's family (my dad's eldest brother). Karen was always sweet to me and always praised me for whatever she could. I was also close with my cousins. Emily is seven years older than me but nonetheless I was also close to her too. One thing I didn't like about her at the time was how she always used to rant all her relationship and friendship problems to me which was a little weird because I was literally 10 lol.
15 years of my life was spent in Singapore until one day my parents broke the news to me: We're going to move back to Canada. My brother and I were obviously not happy about this at all because how can you drop news like this and expect us to be fine with it. They said that since my grandmother (dad's mom) is getting older, they want to be closer to her. Basically they wanted to be close to their family. My brother and I couldn't really argue with that so we just reluctantly agreed. It was really sad, having to leave my life behind. Paul's family was not moving though, they would be staying in Singapore so I was going to miss them too.
Two months later, we moved to Canada. My dad didn't move with us and said he will move a year later when his boss tells him to. So it was just my mom, my brother and me. We moved in with my dad's youngest brother, Mike's family who were living with my grandma. It was a pretty big house but it wasn't enough for 9 people. In the end, I had to share a room with Mia (12F) and Jane (7F). I wasn't complaining and was really understanding with everything because it's hard for everyone. I didn't want to complain to my parents because there wasn't anything that they can do about it. My mom and grandmother shared a room. And my brother and Jake (6M) shared a room. However, there was one empty room. I asked my grandmother if me or my brother could use it but she strictly denied and said it was for my father only. I said that my dad will only visit once a month for a few days, and he can use to room then, and in the meantime my brother or me can use it. She denied again and said that we would get the room dirty which doesn't even make sense because we were about 15 and 18 at the time and knew how to take care of ourselves. I didn't fight it and just agreed. This should've been the first red flag (you'll see why later in the story.) (BTW Bob's family lives a few houses down.)
It was really hard adjusting to the life here in Canada but I just kept it to myself. I eventually enrolled in a highschool that my other cousins attended and I guess here is where Aiden and I fall out. We were in a lot of the same classes and he always acted like he doesn't know who I am at school which kind of hurt. It's like he was embarrassed that I was his cousin or something. Anyway, I made new friends quickly and found a group of friends where it was the four of us. They were (still are) my bestest friends. I'm always thankful for them. The syllabus was different but it wasn't really a problem for me since the syllabus in Singapore was much tougher and I had already learnt most of the stuff in my previous year.
Anyway, I felt really bad for my mom because she always had to do all the work in the house. Laura (Mike's wife) was always at work since she has a pretty demanding job but when she was at home she always helped my mother as much as she could with the chores. The house was pretty big so it was really daunting to clean the whole house every single day. On top of that she had to take care of my grandmother. My grandmother was a fucking nightmare. She tortured my mother and made her do everything. My mom had to cook different meals for my grandmother. She demanded that my mother cook her the most lavish meals. So this just doubled the work for my mom. I always try to help out with the housework after my school and extra activities and so does my brother. Mia was just an annoying spoiled fucking brat who was like a minion of my grandmother so she never helped. She also just made more of a mess along with her younger annoying as fuck siblings. My mom got tired and tried telling my dad about it but my dad ignored it and said she was overexaggerating because his mother would never do something like that. My grandmother also fed my dad millions of lies like my mother didn't take care of her or that she never cooks for her which were all lies. This caused fights between my mom and dad over the phone and results in my mom crying herself to sleep. Despite all this, my mom treated my grandmother with nothing but kindness and respect. Thinking about this just makes me cry because my mother is honestly the strongest person I know and I love her so much. I did try to help her as much as I could. Also, my brother and I had lots of difficulty studying at home because the kids would always be yelling and screaming and crying all the time. So, on the weekends, my brother and I used to study in the library and our mom used to join us sometimes since she likes to read books (which my grandma had a problem with). In the free time that I had, I used to visit Bob's family but I quickly realised they weren't that great either. Karen (whom I used to love) was still the same but she used to cause more problems between my grandma and my mom. I was also doing better in school than Aiden so she got jealous and gave me lots of backhanded compliments infront of my face but used to curse me out behind my back to Michelle (the aunt still in Singapore). I overheard her telling my mom about it. My mom was furious but there wasn't anything she could do. Aiden's sisters were no different either. So I wasn't close to their family anymore. I was so angry and confused because everyone turned out to be different than what I had made them out to be. My dad moved in finally about a year later (2023). I used to be really close to my dad and was definitely a daddy's girl before he started fighting with my mom over my grandma. I still love him but I can't say that I'm as close to him now as I once was. My brother moved away for college so I felt even more lonely now. I also had zero privacy at home though I was literally a teenager. Mia, ever so the annoying fucking brat, always went through my makeup and my clothes and when she was angry at me, she would destroy some of my favourite products and my favourite clothes. I don't care how old she is, fuck that little bitch. Idk if her parents failed to teach her anything or if she is just simply ignorant.
Anyway, we lived like this for a year more until my mom and I finally convinced my dad to move into a different home but he had two conditions. One is that we live only a few houses away (like Bob's family) and two is that we take my grandma with us. My mom and i hated the conditions because we just wanted to be far away from all those people but we agreed anyway because that's better than nothing.
We couldn't find a nice house in the same street (thank god) but we found one five minutes away (by walk). We moved in after new years and it was great. I finally had my own room and privacy and space to myself. I also could study with no distractions which is really important since the last two years are the important years of high school. My brother also visited a lot more which made me happier. My grandma still stayed the same.
Now onto what happened. We were having a family reunion. Lots of my relatives from out of town came and I swear I've never seen some of them before. Alot of my grandmother's friends attended as well. It was a pretty big event and my uncle, Bob, rented out a function hall for this. Paul's family also flew down from Singapore as well so I was over the moon. I was having a nice time with my brother, Jaden and Matt. My brother had brought his girlfriend, Leah, along too which I was really excited about because we're really close. He used to bring her back home whenever he used to visit and that's how we became so close. She's so beautiful and kindhearted and I'm so happy that my brother has found someone like her. BTW I told them about Aiden and his sisters so they don't really talk much with them anymore either. Obviously they threw a tantrum and blamed me for ruining their relationship though i never "restricted" Jaden or Matt from talking to them and they did it on their own account. I don't know why they made such a big fuss about it because they weren't that close to Jaden or Matt tbh. Anyway, let's continue. I was sitting at a table with my brothers and Leah and we were just joking around and having fun until my grandmother called me over to her table. I didn't think much of it and went over to her table where all her friends, and a boy who looked around my age was sitting. I was confused because why the hell would a guy be sitting with a bunch of old ladies. Anyway, she introduced me to her friends and I just smiled politely at them. They made small talk and I only just gave a few small replies. Then, my grandmother introduced the boy as Xavier, her friend's grandson. He smiled awkwardly and I did the same. He looked very bored and uninterested and I could tell that he was forced to come lol. Then suddenly, my grandmother nudged me towards him and winked at me, then turned to giggle with her friends. I instantly realised what she was implying and I got so mad. She knew that I had a boyfriend of a whole god damn year. She noticed that I hadn't moved an inch and she laughed like it was so hilarious and said, "Oh come on, don't be so shy. Go on, talk to him. He won't bite." Then she giggled again. This made me mad as hell so I told her really loudly that I already have a boyfriend. I left immediately after that. She was embarrassed for sure in front of her friends and I was satisfied. The night goes on and we have dinner. After dinner, I'm on my phone scrolling on instagram alone (since I was waiting for my brothers and Leah to finish their meals), until I feel a liquid running down my hair, then my dress. I turn around and see my grandmother holding an empty glass with a smirk on her face. She had poured red wine all over my hair and my dress. Keep in mind I was wearing a very light blue gown. I was shocked because I didn't know that she would steep so low and confused because why would such an old woman be drinking wine. I was angry obviously and I started yelling at her. I stood up from my seat and stated yelling at her like crazy. I think I was just releasing the pent up frustration from the last two years of her torture. She started "crying" and it was attracting alot of attention from the guest and my parents quickly rushed over to see the problem. My grandma explained to them that she "accidentally" poured wine all over my dress. I told them that it wasn't true and she purposely poured it on my dress. I could see that my mom definitely believed me but my dad wasn't buying it. He yelled at me for yelling at his mom which made me scoff and roll my eyes. After he was done, I told them, "Fuck you both," then I turned towards my grandmother and said, "I hope you burn in hell when your time comes, which isn't far from now." This made her cry even harder and my dad just got angrier at me. He told my brother (who also came a few minutes after my parents) to take me home and gave him his keys. My brother took me home and Leah, Jaden and Matt accompanied me as well. I just started crying in the car on the way home because I was just so tired of her. Leah held me and comforted me. I told them the entire story and my brothers said that they were proud of me and never thought that their little sister is brave enough to curse at her grandmother and father which just made me laugh a little. I probably looked like a maniac, crying and laughing at the same time. Anyway, I got home and took a shower. I checked my phone and saw tons of missed calls and texts from family and others. I switched off my phone and just went to sleep. The next morning was a mess. My dad an grandma teamed up against me and were scolding me and yelling at me for being so disrespectful. They want me to apologize to her to which I said, "Over my dead body," which made them angrier. I got up in the middle and locked myself in my room. BTW, Leah was staying with us in my room so she was there too. She just continued being a sweetheart and comforted me again. I could hear my grandma saying something along the lines that my mother had spoiled me too much and never taught me how to respect others. This was when my brother started yelling at her. This was a shock since my brother is a chill guy and never shouts or yells. I couldn't hear much but I heard him basically telling her to shut up and all this was happening because of her. My dad yelled at him too of course. My mom was trying to calm everyone down and she succeeded in doing so for my father (btw i explained everything to my mom after I woke up in the morning and she told me that I did the right thing standing up for myself but i could have used a little less harsher words). A few seconds of silence pass and I hear my brother's door slam. I was happy that he defended me but felt guilty that he got yelled at by my dad because if me. Leah and I went over to his room and he was on his phone. I apologised to him and he said that it's not my fault and I shouldn't be apologising. We talked for awhile and then I left him and Leah alone cause I felt like I was with Leah more than he was lol. A few hours passed and I was studying when my dad knocked and came inside my room. I thought that he finally realised that he's wrong and he's come to apologize but I was stupid for even expecting that. He stood cross-armed and stood infront of me. He straight up started talking and told me very calmly that he was embarrassed to have a daughter like me. He told me what I said to them was very out of pocket and he said he hates me for saying something so rude to his mother. He was embarrassed to have me as his daughter because I ruined the family's reputation infront of everybody. Then he left and I started crying again because what the fuck was that. Nobody likes hearing that from their dad. I started feeling guilty and thought if what I said was too much. So now, I'm here. Help me, reddit. Should I apologise? AITA for cursing at my grandmother when she purposely spilled wine all over me? I apologise for the extremely long post. I didn't know which parts to cut out and which were irrelevant do just typed out everything. I'm also sorry for any grammar or spelling mistakes, I wrote this in a hurry.
submitted by amberleesme to AITAH [link] [comments]
Here's a little contex first: My family consists of my Dad (47M), my Mom (45F), my brother, Alex (21M) and me, Amber (17F). I'm born in Canada but my family shifted to Singapore when I was about 6 months old since my dad got a great job offer there. My dad's second older brother also got an offer there so he moved with his family as well.
Okay first let me explain my dad's family tree so it doesn't get confusing. My dad has three brothers. The eldest brother (Bob, 52M) has a wife (Karen, 49F) two daughters (Emily, 24F and Erica, 18F) and a son (Aiden, 17M). The second eldest brother (Paul, 49M) (also the family that moved to Singapore with us) has a wife (Michelle, 45F) and two sons (Jaden, 20M and Matt, 18M). Then comes my dad and at last his youngest brother (Mike, 45M). He has a wife (Laura, 44F), two daughters (Mia, 12F and Jane, 7F) and a son (Jake, 6M). My grandfather passed away (R.I.P) when I was 12 and everyone was heartbroken to say the least. He was really the gem and glue of our family. My grandmother is still alive.
Now that the family tree is out of the way, let's get back to the story.
I lived in Singapore until I was 15. I had amazing friends and my life was just really peaceful there. I was really close to Paul's family and their kids because we were all around the same age. We also lived together for a few years before separating since my brother got admitted to a different primary school so we had to shift half an hour away from them. We were (and still are) inseparable and I love them to death. They are the best brothers I could ever ask for. Obviously there were times where they all ganged up on me to prank me since I was their only sister and the youngest. I still remember when we were younger and used to pretend we were youtubers. We used to record those videos on my mom's phone and I still have those videos. Okay, sorry for getting distracted I just wanted to share some sweet memories.
We used to visit my mom and dad's family once a year and flew over to Canada and I always had a great time with my cousins and relatives. I was and am still a shy kid so I didn't really talk much to the adults there other than small talk like how my studies are going. However, I was the complete opposite with my cousins. I was loud as fuck and was always hyper and excited about everything (please excuse me I was just a kid lol). I was especially close to Bob's family (my dad's eldest brother). Karen was always sweet to me and always praised me for whatever she could. I was also close with my cousins. Emily is seven years older than me but nonetheless I was also close to her too. One thing I didn't like about her at the time was how she always used to rant all her relationship and friendship problems to me which was a little weird because I was literally 10 lol.
15 years of my life was spent in Singapore until one day my parents broke the news to me: We're going to move back to Canada. My brother and I were obviously not happy about this at all because how can you drop news like this and expect us to be fine with it. They said that since my grandmother (dad's mom) is getting older, they want to be closer to her. Basically they wanted to be close to their family. My brother and I couldn't really argue with that so we just reluctantly agreed. It was really sad, having to leave my life behind. Paul's family was not moving though, they would be staying in Singapore so I was going to miss them too.
Two months later, we moved to Canada. My dad didn't move with us and said he will move a year later when his boss tells him to. So it was just my mom, my brother and me. We moved in with my dad's youngest brother, Mike's family who were living with my grandma. It was a pretty big house but it wasn't enough for 9 people. In the end, I had to share a room with Mia (12F) and Jane (7F). I wasn't complaining and was really understanding with everything because it's hard for everyone. I didn't want to complain to my parents because there wasn't anything that they can do about it. My mom and grandmother shared a room. And my brother and Jake (6M) shared a room. However, there was one empty room. I asked my grandmother if me or my brother could use it but she strictly denied and said it was for my father only. I said that my dad will only visit once a month for a few days, and he can use to room then, and in the meantime my brother or me can use it. She denied again and said that we would get the room dirty which doesn't even make sense because we were about 15 and 18 at the time and knew how to take care of ourselves. I didn't fight it and just agreed. This should've been the first red flag (you'll see why later in the story.) (BTW Bob's family lives a few houses down.)
It was really hard adjusting to the life here in Canada but I just kept it to myself. I eventually enrolled in a highschool that my other cousins attended and I guess here is where Aiden and I fall out. We were in a lot of the same classes and he always acted like he doesn't know who I am at school which kind of hurt. It's like he was embarrassed that I was his cousin or something. Anyway, I made new friends quickly and found a group of friends where it was the four of us. They were (still are) my bestest friends. I'm always thankful for them. The syllabus was different but it wasn't really a problem for me since the syllabus in Singapore was much tougher and I had already learnt most of the stuff in my previous year.
Anyway, I felt really bad for my mom because she always had to do all the work in the house. Laura (Mike's wife) was always at work since she has a pretty demanding job but when she was at home she always helped my mother as much as she could with the chores. The house was pretty big so it was really daunting to clean the whole house every single day. On top of that she had to take care of my grandmother. My grandmother was a fucking nightmare. She tortured my mother and made her do everything. My mom had to cook different meals for my grandmother. She demanded that my mother cook her the most lavish meals. So this just doubled the work for my mom. I always try to help out with the housework after my school and extra activities and so does my brother. Mia was just an annoying spoiled fucking brat who was like a minion of my grandmother so she never helped. She also just made more of a mess along with her younger annoying as fuck siblings. My mom got tired and tried telling my dad about it but my dad ignored it and said she was overexaggerating because his mother would never do something like that. My grandmother also fed my dad millions of lies like my mother didn't take care of her or that she never cooks for her which were all lies. This caused fights between my mom and dad over the phone and results in my mom crying herself to sleep. Despite all this, my mom treated my grandmother with nothing but kindness and respect. Thinking about this just makes me cry because my mother is honestly the strongest person I know and I love her so much. I did try to help her as much as I could. Also, my brother and I had lots of difficulty studying at home because the kids would always be yelling and screaming and crying all the time. So, on the weekends, my brother and I used to study in the library and our mom used to join us sometimes since she likes to read books (which my grandma had a problem with). In the free time that I had, I used to visit Bob's family but I quickly realised they weren't that great either. Karen (whom I used to love) was still the same but she used to cause more problems between my grandma and my mom. I was also doing better in school than Aiden so she got jealous and gave me lots of backhanded compliments infront of my face but used to curse me out behind my back to Michelle (the aunt still in Singapore). I overheard her telling my mom about it. My mom was furious but there wasn't anything she could do. Aiden's sisters were no different either. So I wasn't close to their family anymore. I was so angry and confused because everyone turned out to be different than what I had made them out to be. My dad moved in finally about a year later (2023). I used to be really close to my dad and was definitely a daddy's girl before he started fighting with my mom over my grandma. I still love him but I can't say that I'm as close to him now as I once was. My brother moved away for college so I felt even more lonely now. I also had zero privacy at home though I was literally a teenager. Mia, ever so the annoying fucking brat, always went through my makeup and my clothes and when she was angry at me, she would destroy some of my favourite products and my favourite clothes. I don't care how old she is, fuck that little bitch. Idk if her parents failed to teach her anything or if she is just simply ignorant.
Anyway, we lived like this for a year more until my mom and I finally convinced my dad to move into a different home but he had two conditions. One is that we live only a few houses away (like Bob's family) and two is that we take my grandma with us. My mom and i hated the conditions because we just wanted to be far away from all those people but we agreed anyway because that's better than nothing.
We couldn't find a nice house in the same street (thank god) but we found one five minutes away (by walk). We moved in after new years and it was great. I finally had my own room and privacy and space to myself. I also could study with no distractions which is really important since the last two years are the important years of high school. My brother also visited a lot more which made me happier. My grandma still stayed the same.
Now onto what happened. We were having a family reunion. Lots of my relatives from out of town came and I swear I've never seen some of them before. Alot of my grandmother's friends attended as well. It was a pretty big event and my uncle, Bob, rented out a function hall for this. Paul's family also flew down from Singapore as well so I was over the moon. I was having a nice time with my brother, Jaden and Matt. My brother had brought his girlfriend, Leah, along too which I was really excited about because we're really close. He used to bring her back home whenever he used to visit and that's how we became so close. She's so beautiful and kindhearted and I'm so happy that my brother has found someone like her. BTW I told them about Aiden and his sisters so they don't really talk much with them anymore either. Obviously they threw a tantrum and blamed me for ruining their relationship though i never "restricted" Jaden or Matt from talking to them and they did it on their own account. I don't know why they made such a big fuss about it because they weren't that close to Jaden or Matt tbh. Anyway, let's continue. I was sitting at a table with my brothers and Leah and we were just joking around and having fun until my grandmother called me over to her table. I didn't think much of it and went over to her table where all her friends, and a boy who looked around my age was sitting. I was confused because why the hell would a guy be sitting with a bunch of old ladies. Anyway, she introduced me to her friends and I just smiled politely at them. They made small talk and I only just gave a few small replies. Then, my grandmother introduced the boy as Xavier, her friend's grandson. He smiled awkwardly and I did the same. He looked very bored and uninterested and I could tell that he was forced to come lol. Then suddenly, my grandmother nudged me towards him and winked at me, then turned to giggle with her friends. I instantly realised what she was implying and I got so mad. She knew that I had a boyfriend of a whole god damn year. She noticed that I hadn't moved an inch and she laughed like it was so hilarious and said, "Oh come on, don't be so shy. Go on, talk to him. He won't bite." Then she giggled again. This made me mad as hell so I told her really loudly that I already have a boyfriend. I left immediately after that. She was embarrassed for sure in front of her friends and I was satisfied. The night goes on and we have dinner. After dinner, I'm on my phone scrolling on instagram alone (since I was waiting for my brothers and Leah to finish their meals), until I feel a liquid running down my hair, then my dress. I turn around and see my grandmother holding an empty glass with a smirk on her face. She had poured red wine all over my hair and my dress. Keep in mind I was wearing a very light blue gown. I was shocked because I didn't know that she would steep so low and confused because why would such an old woman be drinking wine. I was angry obviously and I started yelling at her. I stood up from my seat and stated yelling at her like crazy. I think I was just releasing the pent up frustration from the last two years of her torture. She started "crying" and it was attracting alot of attention from the guest and my parents quickly rushed over to see the problem. My grandma explained to them that she "accidentally" poured wine all over my dress. I told them that it wasn't true and she purposely poured it on my dress. I could see that my mom definitely believed me but my dad wasn't buying it. He yelled at me for yelling at his mom which made me scoff and roll my eyes. After he was done, I told them, "Fuck you both," then I turned towards my grandmother and said, "I hope you burn in hell when your time comes, which isn't far from now." This made her cry even harder and my dad just got angrier at me. He told my brother (who also came a few minutes after my parents) to take me home and gave him his keys. My brother took me home and Leah, Jaden and Matt accompanied me as well. I just started crying in the car on the way home because I was just so tired of her. Leah held me and comforted me. I told them the entire story and my brothers said that they were proud of me and never thought that their little sister is brave enough to curse at her grandmother and father which just made me laugh a little. I probably looked like a maniac, crying and laughing at the same time. Anyway, I got home and took a shower. I checked my phone and saw tons of missed calls and texts from family and others. I switched off my phone and just went to sleep. The next morning was a mess. My dad an grandma teamed up against me and were scolding me and yelling at me for being so disrespectful. They want me to apologize to her to which I said, "Over my dead body," which made them angrier. I got up in the middle and locked myself in my room. BTW, Leah was staying with us in my room so she was there too. She just continued being a sweetheart and comforted me again. I could hear my grandma saying something along the lines that my mother had spoiled me too much and never taught me how to respect others. This was when my brother started yelling at her. This was a shock since my brother is a chill guy and never shouts or yells. I couldn't hear much but I heard him basically telling her to shut up and all this was happening because of her. My dad yelled at him too of course. My mom was trying to calm everyone down and she succeeded in doing so for my father (btw i explained everything to my mom after I woke up in the morning and she told me that I did the right thing standing up for myself but i could have used a little less harsher words). A few seconds of silence pass and I hear my brother's door slam. I was happy that he defended me but felt guilty that he got yelled at by my dad because if me. Leah and I went over to his room and he was on his phone. I apologised to him and he said that it's not my fault and I shouldn't be apologising. We talked for awhile and then I left him and Leah alone cause I felt like I was with Leah more than he was lol. A few hours passed and I was studying when my dad knocked and came inside my room. I thought that he finally realised that he's wrong and he's come to apologize but I was stupid for even expecting that. He stood cross-armed and stood infront of me. He straight up started talking and told me very calmly that he was embarrassed to have a daughter like me. He told me what I said to them was very out of pocket and he said he hates me for saying something so rude to his mother. He was embarrassed to have me as his daughter because I ruined the family's reputation infront of everybody. Then he left and I started crying again because what the fuck was that. Nobody likes hearing that from their dad. I started feeling guilty and thought if what I said was too much. So now, I'm here. Help me, reddit. Should I apologise? AITA for cursing at my grandmother when she purposely spilled wine all over me? I apologise for the extremely long post. I didn't know which parts to cut out and which were irrelevant do just typed out everything. I'm also sorry for any grammar or spelling mistakes, I wrote this in a hurry.
2024.04.29 17:15 C0D3_Charlie Little rant about the Kicks
Wanted to go on a bit of a rant here regarding the kicks.
Imagine this: My friend and I are dropping on lvl 7 bug plannet. It's one of those that you need blow up 8+holes in under 13min. Bot of us are llv 60+ We see lavl 30 and 40 being completely swarmed by spewers, shrekeers and god know what. 3 minutes left on the clock and 0 objectives completed. We decide to stick around and not leave our fellow divers behind. We mange to get all objectives done, just the 2 of us, in the process snag 15 samples and fight our way to evan point, all whilst or less fortunate comrades are being plowed down by hordes of bugs.
Right before the ship lands, we are being kicked out of the match...Granted, we only spent 3 minutes on the planet...so it's not like wasted a ton of time, but still, that's the gratitude we get for helping.
I feel liek there has to be something stopping people from doing this. Maybe introduce a timer on how long before you are unable to ban people, or disable this option when the dropship is called, also maybe take into consideration how many team kills you've had...The more levels i gain and the higher the dificulty gets, the more of this i see. It's coming to a point where i need stay below lvl 6 missions to have the most enjoyable time, but the cahalange is just not there (for the most part).
submitted by C0D3_Charlie to Helldivers [link] [comments]
Imagine this: My friend and I are dropping on lvl 7 bug plannet. It's one of those that you need blow up 8+holes in under 13min. Bot of us are llv 60+ We see lavl 30 and 40 being completely swarmed by spewers, shrekeers and god know what. 3 minutes left on the clock and 0 objectives completed. We decide to stick around and not leave our fellow divers behind. We mange to get all objectives done, just the 2 of us, in the process snag 15 samples and fight our way to evan point, all whilst or less fortunate comrades are being plowed down by hordes of bugs.
Right before the ship lands, we are being kicked out of the match...Granted, we only spent 3 minutes on the planet...so it's not like wasted a ton of time, but still, that's the gratitude we get for helping.
I feel liek there has to be something stopping people from doing this. Maybe introduce a timer on how long before you are unable to ban people, or disable this option when the dropship is called, also maybe take into consideration how many team kills you've had...The more levels i gain and the higher the dificulty gets, the more of this i see. It's coming to a point where i need stay below lvl 6 missions to have the most enjoyable time, but the cahalange is just not there (for the most part).
2024.04.29 17:11 SuperSpartan13 Why haven't i gotten results?
i havent gotten results, i think it's 3 years now since i've been trying? I use titan iwigi, i made my own subs using supported methods, I listen to the full 40 min+ moab 2.0 every day before i listen to subs. I listened to "Subconscious Limits Removal Ver 3 0" by sapien medicine for 10 minutes after moab 2.0, i wait and wait and wait. I try barely audible subs, silent subs, so far with this current regiment it's been 2 months+, i've mixed ive matched, i tried to detach, blockage remover, accept it, but it just doesn't work. I've asked multiple times, and tried different methods. I've even did a blind subliminal listen where me and another guy listen to a sub we pick out for each other out of 10 things but we don't know which one exactly, used wav format and both did not get anything. I looked up LOA, nevile goddard, that told me stuff i already knew/tried. recently was insulted by someone here who's active in a black magic sub, which makes me think subs are a bunch of nonsense.
anyone else got any tips? something new that I haven't tried yet? i'm not obsessed, i've just been casually trying for a long time
submitted by SuperSpartan13 to Subliminal [link] [comments]
anyone else got any tips? something new that I haven't tried yet? i'm not obsessed, i've just been casually trying for a long time
2024.04.29 17:10 muiqfuq My friend made me cry today and I don't know what to do. Do I remain friends with someone who goes this low?
I have known my friend since I was 11 years old. We're both 26 year old men now. We went to school together, he was a weird kid rejected by everyone and I also felt like that in my last school, so we gravitated towards each other. Anyway, always just ‘friends’ in school. We played video games together but never were super ‘close’ you know. Never shared emotions are shared anything that real, just lots of laughing and gaming. Quantity over quality most of the time.
Anyway, the first time he did this mean thing which is obviously a pattern of his is one time we were arguing (now I can be a real fucking idiot sometimes, I am very inconsiderate and scatterbrained and can be an arsehole, but I’m never ever intentionally and directly cruel and hurtful) and at the very height of the argument he said like ‘you’re a loser and your dog is dead’ when my dog who he knew I was very upset about had died. I thought that was some pretty nasty shit to say to another friend when you're like 14 but I get it I guess, sometimes friends are mean.
I know this tactic, it’s when you’re so angry that you just aim for the most critical part of a person as you possibly can and just pull the trigger cold-heartedly. That really upset me, because he knew that that would make me feel hurt in my heart and he knew it would make me suffer. I think that’s very cruel personally. I don’t know what the exact word is but I know you know what I mean. Just really, really low and cheap and just nasty, dirty thing to do.
Anyway, this is what I need to vent about: I had spent a couple of days with him up in the city and we get along sort of, he gets very tired of me and gets like noticeably short with me even after just a day. He begins to be intentionally a bit rude and deliberately cut me out of things, sort of childish stuff and it just grates on me why he can't be a bit more polite and normal and just a bit more kind?! If he's annoyed at me he can tell me, maybe it is resentment.
So he brings his favourite hat to the pub, I know it is special to him and I’ve spent two days with him at this point, and I ask him to try the hat on, and I can feel in my body he is going to react how I think he is, and he says ‘no’ in just a way that really got to me, so I pinched the hat off his head and kind of just waved it in front of him - very childish playground behaviour. I watch him get very very angry with me which I enjoy because I feel satisfied pushing his buttons for some reason? I then eventually give it back after 4-5 seconds and then he just instantly tells me that my ex-girlfriend is a bitch and is horrible.
Side note: I was in a very long relationship with my ex, we were in love as much as we could be at this young age, and I even moved to her country to be with her. We went through quite a lot in my opinion and I was absolutely devestated when we broke up. I've been greiving for almost 10 months at this point and I still cry about her once every couple of weeks. I am a very emotional man and shared some very very special moments of my life with her, so him saying this tore my entire world down. He knew it would hurt me because he knew I was greiving still.
This absolutely breaks me and I instantly just gaze at him in disbelief and ask him why he said that and that he didn’t need to say that. I literally froze in total shock and felt the anger tumble into my system like gushing water. He knows how torn up I’ve been over my ex, I’ve opened up to him about how much I struggle with my emotions and how I am struggling to move on. In that moment I felt ready to instantly beat the lights out of him, my god I have not felt anger like that in honestly years, I forgot how energising it is. I sat there looking at him asking him why he said that as it isn’t relevant? He said that intentionally to hurt me, I can see it in him, his eyes like daggers; he is also angry at me. I am so overwhelmed I just get up, go to the bathroom and burst into tears and cry in the bathroom for literally 20 minutes and I am so angry and so upset about what he said and how hurtful it was. I was so in love with my partner and she gave me so much of her and the breakup was very unresolved for me and he knew that would hurt me in a deep way and I just am so so hurt I don’t know what to do. I went home instantly and have been crying on and off all night. Part of me wants to work on forgiving him and part of me wants to literally knock his fucking teeth out of his mouth for being that cruel to me. The anger is SO real.
Overall, I can definitely understand why he was angry, I was a dickhead and grabbed his hat - that isn’t mine to grab and it warranted a negative reaction, so I don’t even feel like I deserve to be upset. It’s my fault. Play stupid games win stupid prizes.
I’m just an idiot and I also am worried that why do I feel so much enjoyment annoying my friend? Is it resentment? Yes, it is a mess.
submitted by muiqfuq to Advice [link] [comments]
Anyway, the first time he did this mean thing which is obviously a pattern of his is one time we were arguing (now I can be a real fucking idiot sometimes, I am very inconsiderate and scatterbrained and can be an arsehole, but I’m never ever intentionally and directly cruel and hurtful) and at the very height of the argument he said like ‘you’re a loser and your dog is dead’ when my dog who he knew I was very upset about had died. I thought that was some pretty nasty shit to say to another friend when you're like 14 but I get it I guess, sometimes friends are mean.
I know this tactic, it’s when you’re so angry that you just aim for the most critical part of a person as you possibly can and just pull the trigger cold-heartedly. That really upset me, because he knew that that would make me feel hurt in my heart and he knew it would make me suffer. I think that’s very cruel personally. I don’t know what the exact word is but I know you know what I mean. Just really, really low and cheap and just nasty, dirty thing to do.
Anyway, this is what I need to vent about: I had spent a couple of days with him up in the city and we get along sort of, he gets very tired of me and gets like noticeably short with me even after just a day. He begins to be intentionally a bit rude and deliberately cut me out of things, sort of childish stuff and it just grates on me why he can't be a bit more polite and normal and just a bit more kind?! If he's annoyed at me he can tell me, maybe it is resentment.
So he brings his favourite hat to the pub, I know it is special to him and I’ve spent two days with him at this point, and I ask him to try the hat on, and I can feel in my body he is going to react how I think he is, and he says ‘no’ in just a way that really got to me, so I pinched the hat off his head and kind of just waved it in front of him - very childish playground behaviour. I watch him get very very angry with me which I enjoy because I feel satisfied pushing his buttons for some reason? I then eventually give it back after 4-5 seconds and then he just instantly tells me that my ex-girlfriend is a bitch and is horrible.
Side note: I was in a very long relationship with my ex, we were in love as much as we could be at this young age, and I even moved to her country to be with her. We went through quite a lot in my opinion and I was absolutely devestated when we broke up. I've been greiving for almost 10 months at this point and I still cry about her once every couple of weeks. I am a very emotional man and shared some very very special moments of my life with her, so him saying this tore my entire world down. He knew it would hurt me because he knew I was greiving still.
This absolutely breaks me and I instantly just gaze at him in disbelief and ask him why he said that and that he didn’t need to say that. I literally froze in total shock and felt the anger tumble into my system like gushing water. He knows how torn up I’ve been over my ex, I’ve opened up to him about how much I struggle with my emotions and how I am struggling to move on. In that moment I felt ready to instantly beat the lights out of him, my god I have not felt anger like that in honestly years, I forgot how energising it is. I sat there looking at him asking him why he said that as it isn’t relevant? He said that intentionally to hurt me, I can see it in him, his eyes like daggers; he is also angry at me. I am so overwhelmed I just get up, go to the bathroom and burst into tears and cry in the bathroom for literally 20 minutes and I am so angry and so upset about what he said and how hurtful it was. I was so in love with my partner and she gave me so much of her and the breakup was very unresolved for me and he knew that would hurt me in a deep way and I just am so so hurt I don’t know what to do. I went home instantly and have been crying on and off all night. Part of me wants to work on forgiving him and part of me wants to literally knock his fucking teeth out of his mouth for being that cruel to me. The anger is SO real.
Overall, I can definitely understand why he was angry, I was a dickhead and grabbed his hat - that isn’t mine to grab and it warranted a negative reaction, so I don’t even feel like I deserve to be upset. It’s my fault. Play stupid games win stupid prizes.
I’m just an idiot and I also am worried that why do I feel so much enjoyment annoying my friend? Is it resentment? Yes, it is a mess.
2024.04.29 17:08 sudo_samba_addusr The world of un-traumatized extroverts is insane
For my entire life I was "the antisocial nerd" who had only one or two friends. I was always excluded from group activities or deliberately stayed out of them. When I did form connections I sought out the attention and validation of others, and behaved like a people-pleaser or chameleon. As a kid I even sought out the negative attention of others, because even a negative connection was better than the nothing I got at home.
In high school and part of college I had more friends, because I was able to find other nerds and introverts and geek out about things. But then I had to transfer colleges, and I knew nobody there. It was almost impossible to make friends at school, so I basically started spending most of my time alone, with some amount of socializing online. I had and still have plenty of hobbies and nerdy complicated interests like DIY computer stuff. But at some point I realized that this was not really what I wanted, and maybe I was not a true introvert but more of an ambivert who was traumatized and frozen all the time thus preventing me from forming actual connections. Maybe I wanted more friends, and maybe I wanted to improve my social life.
I went through a lot of therapy, joined 12 Step groups, and started actively trying to learn how to talk to new people without being ashamed. Things like making small talk to a stranger at a bar would have been impossible for me to do a year or so ago, but slowly I have been gaining more confidence in myself. I managed to flirt with a girl I had just met at a bowling event yesterday, and I think it was the first time I ever did that.
I learned better social skills by going to meetups and other social spaces, watching how other people interact, and by trying to expand my social network. I made an Instagram, something which a few years ago I would have laughed at as pointless and silly, and started asking people if I could follow them. My social skill level is still way below most people's, and I occasionally get triggered and end up freezing or going a bit silent. But I'm much farther along than I used to be. I'm lucky enough to live in a city where social events are common.
It's gotten to the point where I am starting to realize there are patterns of behavior that popular people have in group settings. At this one meetup that I go to, there is a guy there who is a regular. He is unabashedly himself, not at all a chameleon, and is not afraid to disagree or even jokingly insult others. Everything he does is with a broad smile, so he can put people at ease while still being true to himself. When there are new people in the group that he wants to make a part of his social network, he goes over to them and displays seemingly genuine interest in them. He is very flirty, so a lot of his socializing has a sexual agenda, but he does everything with such a beaming smile that nobody minds. He is not completely genuine but he is genuine enough.
There's also a new girl at the meetup who only started attending around 3 weeks ago. I think she only just moved to the area around a month ago. Already she has managed to create a group of people who follow her around and go places with her, and she did it effortlessly and probably without thinking about it all. She's super friendly and does not hesitate to talk to anyone and ask them to join her on group hang outs. She doesn't have to run after people, people just sort of flock to her, and she greets all of her probably 20 people she now knows at the meetup with equal enthusiasm even though she doesn't really know them long at all. If anyone there starts showing a little too much interest she effortlessly deflects and withdraws a tiny bit just enough so that they get the message without being offended and without leaving her circle. The effortless boundaries are something amazing to see. I was hesitant to talk to her at first, thinking "why would such a popular person even talk to a quiet person like me", or "how would she be able to maintain a friendship with me if she has so many other more interesting people around her, I don't want to have to chase after her". But somehow she remembers the names of all the multitudes of people she's met, and even invited me to get food with her, although we only spoke for a minute or two. All effortlessly! People are already asking her out and stuff. So being popular and having social skills and boundaries means you can safely get stuff for free, haha.
I always thought "having friends" meant having really close friends who know everything about you. Now I'm realizing that there are other types of friends, who you get to know gradually over time with a lot of what I previously thought of as superficial small talk going on. People can be super friendly and always have people around them without necessarily having deep conversations all the time, and without opening themselves up too much that it would cause boundary issues. When you get to know the person well enough over time the deep conversations happen naturally, without feeling forced. For people like this, maintaining relationships is so natural and not anxiety/shame-ridden that it does not feel like an effort to them! They don't need to work so hard.
Growing up, I never had any sort of conscious agenda at social events. I never understood or had an interest in group politics and never understood the natural ease people have in navigating those settings. These two popular people from my meetup definitely do have an agenda, even if they have everything down to a point where they do not have to think about it too deeply. I always thought having an agenda in a social setting would prevent me from being true to myself, but I am starting to realize that that's not really true, especially if you get to the point where you do it all subconsciously. There's nothing wrong with liking someone in a group setting and just trying to add them to your social network or take them to a group hangout / date, even if to me it feels kinda "calculated" because I'm so unused to it.
For me I have to work very hard to maintain the small social network I currently built up. I have had to fight hard to set boundaries with toxic people, push myself to go to social events, cry a lot when certain expectations weren't met. And push myself to reach out to people, ask them for contact info, or even just talk to new ones. I have had to learn to notice when I am triggered and exhausted and need a break, or need to step away from the group and go home. It's all been super hard, but I am finally starting to get some results.
submitted by sudo_samba_addusr to CPTSDFreeze [link] [comments]
In high school and part of college I had more friends, because I was able to find other nerds and introverts and geek out about things. But then I had to transfer colleges, and I knew nobody there. It was almost impossible to make friends at school, so I basically started spending most of my time alone, with some amount of socializing online. I had and still have plenty of hobbies and nerdy complicated interests like DIY computer stuff. But at some point I realized that this was not really what I wanted, and maybe I was not a true introvert but more of an ambivert who was traumatized and frozen all the time thus preventing me from forming actual connections. Maybe I wanted more friends, and maybe I wanted to improve my social life.
I went through a lot of therapy, joined 12 Step groups, and started actively trying to learn how to talk to new people without being ashamed. Things like making small talk to a stranger at a bar would have been impossible for me to do a year or so ago, but slowly I have been gaining more confidence in myself. I managed to flirt with a girl I had just met at a bowling event yesterday, and I think it was the first time I ever did that.
I learned better social skills by going to meetups and other social spaces, watching how other people interact, and by trying to expand my social network. I made an Instagram, something which a few years ago I would have laughed at as pointless and silly, and started asking people if I could follow them. My social skill level is still way below most people's, and I occasionally get triggered and end up freezing or going a bit silent. But I'm much farther along than I used to be. I'm lucky enough to live in a city where social events are common.
It's gotten to the point where I am starting to realize there are patterns of behavior that popular people have in group settings. At this one meetup that I go to, there is a guy there who is a regular. He is unabashedly himself, not at all a chameleon, and is not afraid to disagree or even jokingly insult others. Everything he does is with a broad smile, so he can put people at ease while still being true to himself. When there are new people in the group that he wants to make a part of his social network, he goes over to them and displays seemingly genuine interest in them. He is very flirty, so a lot of his socializing has a sexual agenda, but he does everything with such a beaming smile that nobody minds. He is not completely genuine but he is genuine enough.
There's also a new girl at the meetup who only started attending around 3 weeks ago. I think she only just moved to the area around a month ago. Already she has managed to create a group of people who follow her around and go places with her, and she did it effortlessly and probably without thinking about it all. She's super friendly and does not hesitate to talk to anyone and ask them to join her on group hang outs. She doesn't have to run after people, people just sort of flock to her, and she greets all of her probably 20 people she now knows at the meetup with equal enthusiasm even though she doesn't really know them long at all. If anyone there starts showing a little too much interest she effortlessly deflects and withdraws a tiny bit just enough so that they get the message without being offended and without leaving her circle. The effortless boundaries are something amazing to see. I was hesitant to talk to her at first, thinking "why would such a popular person even talk to a quiet person like me", or "how would she be able to maintain a friendship with me if she has so many other more interesting people around her, I don't want to have to chase after her". But somehow she remembers the names of all the multitudes of people she's met, and even invited me to get food with her, although we only spoke for a minute or two. All effortlessly! People are already asking her out and stuff. So being popular and having social skills and boundaries means you can safely get stuff for free, haha.
I always thought "having friends" meant having really close friends who know everything about you. Now I'm realizing that there are other types of friends, who you get to know gradually over time with a lot of what I previously thought of as superficial small talk going on. People can be super friendly and always have people around them without necessarily having deep conversations all the time, and without opening themselves up too much that it would cause boundary issues. When you get to know the person well enough over time the deep conversations happen naturally, without feeling forced. For people like this, maintaining relationships is so natural and not anxiety/shame-ridden that it does not feel like an effort to them! They don't need to work so hard.
Growing up, I never had any sort of conscious agenda at social events. I never understood or had an interest in group politics and never understood the natural ease people have in navigating those settings. These two popular people from my meetup definitely do have an agenda, even if they have everything down to a point where they do not have to think about it too deeply. I always thought having an agenda in a social setting would prevent me from being true to myself, but I am starting to realize that that's not really true, especially if you get to the point where you do it all subconsciously. There's nothing wrong with liking someone in a group setting and just trying to add them to your social network or take them to a group hangout / date, even if to me it feels kinda "calculated" because I'm so unused to it.
For me I have to work very hard to maintain the small social network I currently built up. I have had to fight hard to set boundaries with toxic people, push myself to go to social events, cry a lot when certain expectations weren't met. And push myself to reach out to people, ask them for contact info, or even just talk to new ones. I have had to learn to notice when I am triggered and exhausted and need a break, or need to step away from the group and go home. It's all been super hard, but I am finally starting to get some results.
2024.04.29 17:06 Philothea0821 Reflection on Readings - Fifth Sunday of Easter (Year B)
First Reading - Acts 9:26-31
When Saul came to Jerusalem, he tried to join the disciples, but they were all afraid of him, not believing that he really was a disciple. 27 But Barnabas took him and brought him to the apostles. He told them how Saul on his journey had seen the Lord and that the Lord had spoken to him, and how in Damascus he had preached fearlessly in the name of Jesus. 28 So Saul stayed with them and moved about freely in Jerusalem, speaking boldly in the name of the Lord. 29 He talked and debated with the Hellenistic Jews,[a] but they tried to kill him. 30 When the believers learned of this, they took him down to Caesarea and sent him off to Tarsus.
31 Then the church throughout Judea, Galilee and Samaria enjoyed a time of peace and was strengthened. Living in the fear of the Lord and encouraged by the Holy Spirit, it increased in numbers.
Responsorial Psalm - Ps 22:26-27, 28, 30, 31-32
Second Reading - 1 Jn 3:18-24
Little children, let us not love in word or speech but in deed and in truth.
19 By this we shall know that we are of the truth, and reassure our hearts before him 20 whenever our hearts condemn us; for God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything. 21 Beloved, if our hearts do not condemn us, we have confidence before God; 22 and we receive from him whatever we ask, because we keep his commandments and do what pleases him. 23 And this is his commandment, that we should believe in the name of his Son Jesus Christ and love one another, just as he has commanded us. 24 All who keep his commandments abide in him, and he in them. And by this we know that he abides in us, by the Spirit which he has given us.
Gospel - Jn 15:1-8
“I am the true vine, and my Father is the vinedresser. 2 Every branch of mine that bears no fruit, he takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit. 3 You are already made clean by the word which I have spoken to you. 4 Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. 5 I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in me, and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing. 6 If a man does not abide in me, he is cast forth as a branch and withers; and the branches are gathered, thrown into the fire and burned. 7 If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you will, and it shall be done for you. 8 By this my Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit, and so prove to be my disciples.
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Beginning with the first reading today, I think we see striking resemblances to today's world. The first reading from the book of Acts this week tells how just after Saul's conversion to Christianity he was not well received (perhaps rightfully so). But what I think people tend to forget is that, at least for Catholics, we profess to believe in the forgiveness of sins every single week! Sure someone might have done some bad things and made some bad choices in the past, but they were done in the past! As Christians we are called not to dwell in the past, but in the present.
On a related note, I think it is worth talking about celebrity conversions. Particularly in light of the recent conversion of Candice Owens to Catholicism. I have seen some pretty nasty comments towards her regarding this, particularly from Protestants. As Christians, when someone converts, we should pray for them! Pray that their faith remains strong and that God may come into their heart and cast out any darkness that is there! When someone converts to Christianity, no matter how perfect that conversion is, Satan loses another soldier. Also, I will place money on the fact that if Candice had converted to Protestantism, it would be PRAISE THE LORD!!! Why is that? I thought it did not matter what branch of Christianity one was a part of so long as one believed in Jesus? Why the double standard? Again, for anyone that coverts to Christianity, instead of attacking them, pray for them!
This brings me to the second reading today from 1 John. "Let us love not in word or in speech, but in deed and in truth." There is a famous quote attributed to St. Francis of Assisi that says
As a final thought about the second reading, I have described the power of prayer of the saints in that the saints are in perfect unity with God. The holier we become, the more powerful our prayers are. John tells us that if we exist in God, God will answer all of our prayers and will not refuse us. Mary and the saints in Heaven exist perfectly in God. It is for this reason that, in the Memorare, Catholics pray
This is precisely what Jesus is talking about in the Gospel reading. If we are not bearing the fruits of the faith, we cannot be attached to the vine, instead we are cast out to wither and die. But if we do bear fruit, if we are attached to the vine, then God can trim away those imperfections to make us holy. That trimming is of no use to a branch that is cut off from Christ however. Trimming a dead branch still leaves it dead. How do we stay connected to the vine and bear fruit? By actually living the faith, just as John tells us in his epistle!!! Christianity is not just something that we do on Sunday. It has to be something that we do all day, every day.
To wrap up, I want to share some thoughts on Hell. We know that Lucifer (Satan) was originally a Seraphim, the highest order in the choirs of angels. The reason for Satan's rebellion ultimately boiled down to pride. Like a star that implodes to become a black-hole, the divine light that radiated from Lucifer imploded inwards creating a void, an emptiness in Satan like a black hole. I was listening to a dialogue with Peter Kreeft on Pints with Aquinas where he mentioned that he does not believe that there is fire in Hell. Fire generates light. God is light. So, rather, Dr. Kreeft posits that Hell is a total consumption by the self. We become totally and completely sucked into ourselves that we become our own sort of black hole. In some sense, I think I might agree. Fr. Mike Schmidz has always said that the path to Heaven is saying "Thy will be done." while the path to Hell is saying "My will be done." When we go to Hell, we get there by putting ourselves before others, and before God. We see this in the Holy Trinity as well, the Father totalling pouring Himself out to the Son and the Son totally pouring Himself out to the Father, and them both totally pouring themselves out to the Spirit. In Heaven, God totally and perfectly pours Himself into us as we do the same! I am not sure where it is originally from, but there is a great quote that says "To be is to be with." Humans are naturally made for one another. God is inherently relational (due to the eternal spiriations) and we are made in God's image, so we are by nature relational beings. I hope that this makes some degree of sense.
So let us pray:
In the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Amen.
O God, send down Your Spirit upon us, strengthen us so that we may more perfectly live out Your Most Holy Word. We also ask even more so, that you help those who have newly converted that they may have faith even stronger than our own. Amen.
Our response will be "Deliver Us, O Jesus"
From the desire of being loved...
From the desire of being approved...
From the desire of being honored...
From the fear of being despised...
From the fear of being ridiculed...
From the fear of being wronged...
O Lord Jesus, we ask You to give us the wisdom to help others to have knowledge of You and the courage to make You known. You gave us Your Most Holy Church to be a city on a hill, so that the entire world may come to know You and Your glory through Your Church! We ask that you strengthen the members of your body to be able to faithfully continue building Your Kingdom here on Earth and to help us recognize ways that you have already strengthened us to carry out Your will.
God, the Father almighty... Hear and answer us.
O Lord Jesus... Hear and answer us.
Holy Spirit, Spirit of Truth... Hear and answer us.
Mary, Mother of God... Pray for us.
St. Michael the Archangel... Pray for us.
All the saints and angels in Heaven... Pray for us.
In the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Amen.
submitted by Philothea0821 to Christianity [link] [comments]
When Saul came to Jerusalem, he tried to join the disciples, but they were all afraid of him, not believing that he really was a disciple. 27 But Barnabas took him and brought him to the apostles. He told them how Saul on his journey had seen the Lord and that the Lord had spoken to him, and how in Damascus he had preached fearlessly in the name of Jesus. 28 So Saul stayed with them and moved about freely in Jerusalem, speaking boldly in the name of the Lord. 29 He talked and debated with the Hellenistic Jews,[a] but they tried to kill him. 30 When the believers learned of this, they took him down to Caesarea and sent him off to Tarsus.
31 Then the church throughout Judea, Galilee and Samaria enjoyed a time of peace and was strengthened. Living in the fear of the Lord and encouraged by the Holy Spirit, it increased in numbers.
Responsorial Psalm - Ps 22:26-27, 28, 30, 31-32
Second Reading - 1 Jn 3:18-24
Little children, let us not love in word or speech but in deed and in truth.
19 By this we shall know that we are of the truth, and reassure our hearts before him 20 whenever our hearts condemn us; for God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything. 21 Beloved, if our hearts do not condemn us, we have confidence before God; 22 and we receive from him whatever we ask, because we keep his commandments and do what pleases him. 23 And this is his commandment, that we should believe in the name of his Son Jesus Christ and love one another, just as he has commanded us. 24 All who keep his commandments abide in him, and he in them. And by this we know that he abides in us, by the Spirit which he has given us.
Gospel - Jn 15:1-8
“I am the true vine, and my Father is the vinedresser. 2 Every branch of mine that bears no fruit, he takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit. 3 You are already made clean by the word which I have spoken to you. 4 Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. 5 I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in me, and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing. 6 If a man does not abide in me, he is cast forth as a branch and withers; and the branches are gathered, thrown into the fire and burned. 7 If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you will, and it shall be done for you. 8 By this my Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit, and so prove to be my disciples.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Beginning with the first reading today, I think we see striking resemblances to today's world. The first reading from the book of Acts this week tells how just after Saul's conversion to Christianity he was not well received (perhaps rightfully so). But what I think people tend to forget is that, at least for Catholics, we profess to believe in the forgiveness of sins every single week! Sure someone might have done some bad things and made some bad choices in the past, but they were done in the past! As Christians we are called not to dwell in the past, but in the present.
On a related note, I think it is worth talking about celebrity conversions. Particularly in light of the recent conversion of Candice Owens to Catholicism. I have seen some pretty nasty comments towards her regarding this, particularly from Protestants. As Christians, when someone converts, we should pray for them! Pray that their faith remains strong and that God may come into their heart and cast out any darkness that is there! When someone converts to Christianity, no matter how perfect that conversion is, Satan loses another soldier. Also, I will place money on the fact that if Candice had converted to Protestantism, it would be PRAISE THE LORD!!! Why is that? I thought it did not matter what branch of Christianity one was a part of so long as one believed in Jesus? Why the double standard? Again, for anyone that coverts to Christianity, instead of attacking them, pray for them!
This brings me to the second reading today from 1 John. "Let us love not in word or in speech, but in deed and in truth." There is a famous quote attributed to St. Francis of Assisi that says
"Preach the Gospel always, and when necessary, use words."I recognize that this may actually be a misquote of St. Francis, but that is not the point. I think that this quote still has a lot of truth to it. There is a great hymn used in the Catholic Church (I am unsure if Protestants have it as well) called "They will Know We are Christians by Our Love." As Jesus tells us "Not all who says to me 'Lord, Lord!" will enter the kingdom of Heaven, but he who does the will of my Father who sent me." The Christian life is about not just professing that we believe in God, but actually living it! If you are attacking a celebrity for converting instead of praying for them, I have doubts that you actually have the Spirit of God and His gifts of grace inside of you.
As a final thought about the second reading, I have described the power of prayer of the saints in that the saints are in perfect unity with God. The holier we become, the more powerful our prayers are. John tells us that if we exist in God, God will answer all of our prayers and will not refuse us. Mary and the saints in Heaven exist perfectly in God. It is for this reason that, in the Memorare, Catholics pray
Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to thy protection, implored thy help, or sought thy intercession, was left unaided...Mary takes our prayers to Jesus as her own in perfect unity with the will of God! Because of this, God will not refuse the prayers of the saints!
This is precisely what Jesus is talking about in the Gospel reading. If we are not bearing the fruits of the faith, we cannot be attached to the vine, instead we are cast out to wither and die. But if we do bear fruit, if we are attached to the vine, then God can trim away those imperfections to make us holy. That trimming is of no use to a branch that is cut off from Christ however. Trimming a dead branch still leaves it dead. How do we stay connected to the vine and bear fruit? By actually living the faith, just as John tells us in his epistle!!! Christianity is not just something that we do on Sunday. It has to be something that we do all day, every day.
To wrap up, I want to share some thoughts on Hell. We know that Lucifer (Satan) was originally a Seraphim, the highest order in the choirs of angels. The reason for Satan's rebellion ultimately boiled down to pride. Like a star that implodes to become a black-hole, the divine light that radiated from Lucifer imploded inwards creating a void, an emptiness in Satan like a black hole. I was listening to a dialogue with Peter Kreeft on Pints with Aquinas where he mentioned that he does not believe that there is fire in Hell. Fire generates light. God is light. So, rather, Dr. Kreeft posits that Hell is a total consumption by the self. We become totally and completely sucked into ourselves that we become our own sort of black hole. In some sense, I think I might agree. Fr. Mike Schmidz has always said that the path to Heaven is saying "Thy will be done." while the path to Hell is saying "My will be done." When we go to Hell, we get there by putting ourselves before others, and before God. We see this in the Holy Trinity as well, the Father totalling pouring Himself out to the Son and the Son totally pouring Himself out to the Father, and them both totally pouring themselves out to the Spirit. In Heaven, God totally and perfectly pours Himself into us as we do the same! I am not sure where it is originally from, but there is a great quote that says "To be is to be with." Humans are naturally made for one another. God is inherently relational (due to the eternal spiriations) and we are made in God's image, so we are by nature relational beings. I hope that this makes some degree of sense.
So let us pray:
In the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Amen.
O God, send down Your Spirit upon us, strengthen us so that we may more perfectly live out Your Most Holy Word. We also ask even more so, that you help those who have newly converted that they may have faith even stronger than our own. Amen.
Our response will be "Deliver Us, O Jesus"
From the desire of being loved...
From the desire of being approved...
From the desire of being honored...
From the fear of being despised...
From the fear of being ridiculed...
From the fear of being wronged...
O Lord Jesus, we ask You to give us the wisdom to help others to have knowledge of You and the courage to make You known. You gave us Your Most Holy Church to be a city on a hill, so that the entire world may come to know You and Your glory through Your Church! We ask that you strengthen the members of your body to be able to faithfully continue building Your Kingdom here on Earth and to help us recognize ways that you have already strengthened us to carry out Your will.
God, the Father almighty... Hear and answer us.
O Lord Jesus... Hear and answer us.
Holy Spirit, Spirit of Truth... Hear and answer us.
Mary, Mother of God... Pray for us.
St. Michael the Archangel... Pray for us.
All the saints and angels in Heaven... Pray for us.
In the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Amen.
2024.04.29 17:04 huskyandcollie Not left her studio flat in an entire year… I need a break.
Apologies in advance for the essay…
For context, I live in London in a new build complex of apartments. The flats are modern, come with many amenities (gym, cinema room, work spaces, entertainment etc), attract working professionals, require extensive background referencing / salary requirements and are certainly NOT cheap. I moved here just under a year ago and my first two weeks here were bliss. That was until the couple from hell moved in above me.
At first it just seemed like they were totally oblivious to how loud they were, rather than anything untoward. But it was, and continues to be, bad. Words can’t convey the extent but I’m talking 24/7 banging and stamping, thudding, putting a blender on at 2am (the lack of common sense is astounding?!), music blasting, tv blaring, jumping up and down, dropping shit, slamming doors to only reopen them a minute later and repeat, dragging furniture around at 3am, irregular annoying tapping (I suspect uneven furniture of some sort), loud sex in the shower, toilet going off every 2 minutes all night, being woken to hammering and drilling at 6am, light switches on/off every two seconds, blinds rolling up and down 30x a night (I suspect to smoke out the window, which isn’t allowed), basically non stop noise of some variety - bad enough at the best of times but even worse when this is at its peak between 11pm-4am. EVERY SINGLE DAY. Impossible to sleep through.
I obv get their names and gather intel. They are a Colombian couple, look to be 30ish. He is a PhD student and she does not work, she stays home all day watching tv while aimlessly doing non stop laps of the flat. Wish I was exaggerating when I say she never leaves but she has quite literally never not been in. No job, no hobbies, no friends, so no reason to leave. Food shops get delivered and I imagine he picks up anything else she wants when he goes out to uni / placement. No mental health issues at play as far as I can tell before anyone comes for me.
They stay up all night and take naps during the day (alternating, so one is always up at all times), but once that clock hits 11pm it’s go time for the worst behaviour. This goes on every night until around 4am when she finally has a nap. BUT he gets up at 6/7am and wakes me straight back up. For 11 months I have not had more than 3hrs sleep a night and I am really struggling. Physically and mentally. I also do sports and compete regularly on weekends, many competitions of which I’ve had to pull out of last minute due to sheer exhaustion and so I’m often losing money as a result. But this isn’t just a night time problem, it continues throughout the entire day too. On top of the sleep deprivation I also can’t work from home properly anymore or take meetings in peace (I do a mix of office and wfh). It literally NEVER stops.
Once it began affecting my general health / work / sports comps, I politely complained to the building staff who sent multiple (gentle) reminders to them to respect volume levels after 11pm. In fairness, they would tone it down for the day in question but then they’d just resume the following day. I had thought after getting in trouble for noise they would have used their common sense but alas they doubled down. It seemed like they genuinely didn’t understand that it wasn’t socially acceptable to do these things in the middle of the night. Like you needed to remind them daily that it was in fact 2/3/4 in the morning and spell out that they needed to shut up. So I carried on complaining. Nothing changed.
After a few months, night security eventually lost it with them so it FINALLY got through to them that they needed to lower the volume of the tv / music permanently, not just as a one off thing (they still have it on 24/7, just quieter late at night and daytime remains full volume). But that is the least of my issues. I’d rather them sit still and watch tv than listen to them stamping about about for hours on end.
The rest of the issues spiralled… Instead of coming home after a long day at work to peace, I was coming home to escalating levels of stress and sleep deprivation. I resorted to dropping the polite approach - a combination of screaming through the roof / banging the ceiling / calling security became my new daily routine. I didn’t give a fuck, I was exhausted. I was even putting on weight because I had no energy to exercise anymore. If ever I went away for a weekend I’d come back to it twice as bad because they had had free rein while I was gone and hadn’t had their ‘reminder’. This is grown adults we’re talking about. I was hoping they’d find the banging annoying (as a small taster of what I was enduring from them) and stop. In fact they seemed to either just ignore it, acting under the assumption it was directed at another flat and carried on, stamped back like a child in protest, or they would scream ‘shut up, what is wrong with you?’. The irony. They also recorded me banging and showed security next time they were spoken to, acting like they were victims being bothered by me. Like are you honestly that stupid?? How can you be that self centred and unaware. I’m not banging at nothing, I’m literally banging at you to stop??!! 🤯
Despite me pretty much having a breakdown and crying in front of the building staff, they gave up after a while as all requests to be quiet were just being ignored. They noted how they’d helped with the tv / music but in regard to the other issues, said they can’t stop them “moving” (eye roll 😒) and that they “might be working at night” (good joke, glad the same sympathy is extended to those of us who actually work and need sleep). Quite frankly ‘the other issues’ are the worst part as it’s impossible to sleep while someone is stamping above your head 100x over at 4am, whereas you can semi drown out tv noise. I just want them to go to sleep during normal hours. I know you can’t force someone to stop moving but if they just laid down for more than the current 2hr period of 4-6am (the only time where the both of them stop), I could maybe grin and bear the rest. Sometimes I don’t even get the two hours, last night I could hear ongoing thudding up until I eventually passed out at 5.30am. For reference, I don’t even go to bed early. Most of my friends are early campers clocking out at 9pm, whereas I’m more of a night owl and generally go to sleep at 12 on weekdays / 1 on weekends so I don’t think I’m being unreasonable asking for quiet from midnight. I need to get up at 7 myself for work.
I’ve honestly never known anything like it, they don’t sit down and chill EVER. I think a party house would honestly be easier to deal with as that noise is generally contained to a time period. This is non stop stamping and thudding at every hour of every day (no more than 10 seconds break at any given time). The stamping alone is louder than the combined volume of my tv, dishwasher and washing machine on at the same time, so you can imagine how bad it sounds at night. Imagine being almost asleep then abruptly woken by ‘BANG, BANG, BANG’. On repeat. Every few minutes. It’s torture. I also find myself screaming ‘make a fucking decision’ as they repeatedly slam the doors and cupboards open/closed, turn the lights on/off, blinds up/down. It’s like when dogs can’t decide whether they want to go outside or not, so come in and out non stop but after a while you end up just locking the door and refusing the choice because it’s irritating af, but 1000x more annoying. I suspect since she doesn’t leave and therefore doesn’t exercise, this is why she never stops pacing back and forth, to get some steps in? Because otherwise wtf are you doing that requires this much walking in a tiny studio flat??? I don’t know a single human that isn’t either on their phone, reading or watching tv (quietly), either laid in bed or sat on the sofa if they’re awake in the early hours. Why can’t they just sit down?
At this point, the sound of them in any capacity literally boils my blood. I see red the second I hear them. I have little care whether she’s stomping about in the day time (in which yes, I know technically they can do as they please) or whether they’re both going at it in the nighttime. I’ve had enough. How did these jobless idiots even pass referencing? I have had inconsiderate neighbours in the past but they have always left the house at some point so you get a break from it, whereas I think what makes this situation so much harder is that there’s absolutely no respite.
While I genuinely believe they were initially oblivious to how annoying they are, a lot of it has since become malicious and intentional (likely out of revenge). One of their new favourites is blasting the tv max volume at 6am, but only on long enough to wake me up, then quickly turning it down before security can come. Similar with the banging and jumping in which they do things sporadically so that it’s impossible for me to capture on video for evidence unless I record 24/7. She seems quite manipulative too. I’ve been told from staff that she protested ‘she is a small skinny girl who couldn’t possibly make loud stamping noises’ and that she is only walking “normally” (lies, if you’ve lived below someone like this you come to know exactly when they’re intentionally stamping like a dick vs walking normally). And yes, she really played the ‘I’m just a girl’ card. Other examples incl. her refusing to answer the door to security and telling reception if she wants to play loud music when she showers she will do just that (another of her fav antics - nothing like trying to take a work meeting and not being able to hear anything because Leona Lewis ‘bleeding love’ is blasting through the roof). She also regularly turns the lights off and winds the blinds down as soon as security come knocking, proceeds to pretend she was asleep and blames other flats. Unfortunately security tend to believe her when she does this despite me hearing her covering her tracks in real time.
It’s been heavily hinted that they are staying on for a second year (I am livid the building won’t deal with them) and I’ve spent the past week in tears, considering everything in detail…
I know they are Colombian so I accept there may be some cultural differences at play here particularly with the noise and late evenings, but imo the majority of this is just common sense of how not to behave when you live in a flat? I can’t comprehend being that selfish. I have a guy beneath me who is constantly high so probably unaware of what I’m doing, but if I need to go to the toilet in the middle of the night I still tip toe because I’m conscious IT’S THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT and I know he’s trying to sleep beneath me. It’s just basic manners to not be running about non stop in the early hours when you have neighbours in such close proximity and when flats in the UK have paper thin ceilings 🙃 what is it going to take for them to understand that this is not socially acceptable?
I did also wonder in the early days if the insanely late nights were perhaps due to jet lag / being on South American time. However, I then heard him speak (he is definitely British born, no hint of an accent, so likely just Colombian heritage) so that doesn’t really align. She appears to be Colombian born as she has a heavy accent and they speak to each other in Spanish, but it’s almost been a year now so I don’t accept it as a plausible excuse anymore. Is it honestly normal in Colombia to go to bed this late, and by late im talking AFTER 4am? And to therefore not care whether you’re preventing other people sleeping who need to be up for work? If I was told I was stopping someone sleeping I would be so overly conscious of what I was doing and make every effort to stop.
But most intriguingly, I’ve also been thinking a lot about why she doesn’t leave the flat. For those wondering how I know she hasn’t, ofc there is a very small chance she may have left at some point when I’ve been out but over the past year I have (a) rotated my office / wfh schedule weekly so it’s never the same, (b) switched up my exercise sessions on an ongoing basis / not gone at all, (c) actively tested all hours of all days repeatedly across the entire year to work out when she’s not in to only conclude she’s always there (yes, I’m that desperate for a break from her), and (d) I’ve also been ill at various points of the year and so stuck inside myself to know this is probable fact. Not once has she not been there when I’ve been in, she’s the first bang I hear every morning and last thud I hear every night. I hear her doing something literally every ten seconds so it’s not like she could have even quickly nipped to Starbucks and I just didn’t realise. As I mentioned before, I don’t think her not leaving her home is any sort of mental health issue. But is it perhaps more normal than I think in Colombia for a 30y old (childless) female to have zero interest in working / hobbies / friends, to not do anything with their life other than be an annoyance to others, to never leave their house so long as the boyf is bringing money home?? To me, and by UK standards, that is very strange behaviour for someone who appears healthy / wealthy / young, and it’s borderline suspicious given all the context. She comes across as smug and selfish, not like she’s struggling in any way. Even if I didn’t need to work for whatever reason and my partner was happy to be the sole source of income, I would be spending my days out and about doing things, not rotting inside four walls. I also would be making the most of the gym and free amenities if I had all that spare time. What’s the actual point of living in London if you only stay indoors? You might as well get a big house outside the city if you never plan to leave it, as you get a lot more for your £.
I find it more bizarre however that he affirms this behaviour and seems oblivious to how weird it all is. He is clearly a dick too, but it definitely seems to be mostly her in terms of the sheer selfishness and lack of normal etiquette. He’s well educated, living in an expensive home (tbh unsure how they’re funding this on a PhD salary but I get the impression they come from wealthy families so likely have support), he looks well dressed, he appears to be British born so no cultural misunderstanding from his part, so why does he accept some lazy partner (they seem wildly incompatible) and her borderline feral behaviour as acceptable? Why has he not told her to stop if people are constantly complaining? How does he sleep through it? Why does he not think it’s weird she never leaves their home? Even more strange when you know they’re both cramped in a studio flat (usually rented by single people, they could have got a 1 bed instead?), that would be all the more reason to get out imo as you’re constantly on each others toes with no personal space. My family and friends have suggested perhaps she is here illegally which at first I thought was just a ridiculous prospect but honestly as it reaches a year of her hiding indoors, I’m beginning to wonder myself if that may be the case (there’s also no trace of her online, just him).
I’m not sure how I can last another year, I need her to leave so I get a break. I know everyone will say just move but I feel like why should I have to? The London rental market is brutal; why should I lose my home and have to downgrade / potentially end up paying even more, when I’m not the problem.
submitted by huskyandcollie to neighborsfromhell [link] [comments]
For context, I live in London in a new build complex of apartments. The flats are modern, come with many amenities (gym, cinema room, work spaces, entertainment etc), attract working professionals, require extensive background referencing / salary requirements and are certainly NOT cheap. I moved here just under a year ago and my first two weeks here were bliss. That was until the couple from hell moved in above me.
At first it just seemed like they were totally oblivious to how loud they were, rather than anything untoward. But it was, and continues to be, bad. Words can’t convey the extent but I’m talking 24/7 banging and stamping, thudding, putting a blender on at 2am (the lack of common sense is astounding?!), music blasting, tv blaring, jumping up and down, dropping shit, slamming doors to only reopen them a minute later and repeat, dragging furniture around at 3am, irregular annoying tapping (I suspect uneven furniture of some sort), loud sex in the shower, toilet going off every 2 minutes all night, being woken to hammering and drilling at 6am, light switches on/off every two seconds, blinds rolling up and down 30x a night (I suspect to smoke out the window, which isn’t allowed), basically non stop noise of some variety - bad enough at the best of times but even worse when this is at its peak between 11pm-4am. EVERY SINGLE DAY. Impossible to sleep through.
I obv get their names and gather intel. They are a Colombian couple, look to be 30ish. He is a PhD student and she does not work, she stays home all day watching tv while aimlessly doing non stop laps of the flat. Wish I was exaggerating when I say she never leaves but she has quite literally never not been in. No job, no hobbies, no friends, so no reason to leave. Food shops get delivered and I imagine he picks up anything else she wants when he goes out to uni / placement. No mental health issues at play as far as I can tell before anyone comes for me.
They stay up all night and take naps during the day (alternating, so one is always up at all times), but once that clock hits 11pm it’s go time for the worst behaviour. This goes on every night until around 4am when she finally has a nap. BUT he gets up at 6/7am and wakes me straight back up. For 11 months I have not had more than 3hrs sleep a night and I am really struggling. Physically and mentally. I also do sports and compete regularly on weekends, many competitions of which I’ve had to pull out of last minute due to sheer exhaustion and so I’m often losing money as a result. But this isn’t just a night time problem, it continues throughout the entire day too. On top of the sleep deprivation I also can’t work from home properly anymore or take meetings in peace (I do a mix of office and wfh). It literally NEVER stops.
Once it began affecting my general health / work / sports comps, I politely complained to the building staff who sent multiple (gentle) reminders to them to respect volume levels after 11pm. In fairness, they would tone it down for the day in question but then they’d just resume the following day. I had thought after getting in trouble for noise they would have used their common sense but alas they doubled down. It seemed like they genuinely didn’t understand that it wasn’t socially acceptable to do these things in the middle of the night. Like you needed to remind them daily that it was in fact 2/3/4 in the morning and spell out that they needed to shut up. So I carried on complaining. Nothing changed.
After a few months, night security eventually lost it with them so it FINALLY got through to them that they needed to lower the volume of the tv / music permanently, not just as a one off thing (they still have it on 24/7, just quieter late at night and daytime remains full volume). But that is the least of my issues. I’d rather them sit still and watch tv than listen to them stamping about about for hours on end.
The rest of the issues spiralled… Instead of coming home after a long day at work to peace, I was coming home to escalating levels of stress and sleep deprivation. I resorted to dropping the polite approach - a combination of screaming through the roof / banging the ceiling / calling security became my new daily routine. I didn’t give a fuck, I was exhausted. I was even putting on weight because I had no energy to exercise anymore. If ever I went away for a weekend I’d come back to it twice as bad because they had had free rein while I was gone and hadn’t had their ‘reminder’. This is grown adults we’re talking about. I was hoping they’d find the banging annoying (as a small taster of what I was enduring from them) and stop. In fact they seemed to either just ignore it, acting under the assumption it was directed at another flat and carried on, stamped back like a child in protest, or they would scream ‘shut up, what is wrong with you?’. The irony. They also recorded me banging and showed security next time they were spoken to, acting like they were victims being bothered by me. Like are you honestly that stupid?? How can you be that self centred and unaware. I’m not banging at nothing, I’m literally banging at you to stop??!! 🤯
Despite me pretty much having a breakdown and crying in front of the building staff, they gave up after a while as all requests to be quiet were just being ignored. They noted how they’d helped with the tv / music but in regard to the other issues, said they can’t stop them “moving” (eye roll 😒) and that they “might be working at night” (good joke, glad the same sympathy is extended to those of us who actually work and need sleep). Quite frankly ‘the other issues’ are the worst part as it’s impossible to sleep while someone is stamping above your head 100x over at 4am, whereas you can semi drown out tv noise. I just want them to go to sleep during normal hours. I know you can’t force someone to stop moving but if they just laid down for more than the current 2hr period of 4-6am (the only time where the both of them stop), I could maybe grin and bear the rest. Sometimes I don’t even get the two hours, last night I could hear ongoing thudding up until I eventually passed out at 5.30am. For reference, I don’t even go to bed early. Most of my friends are early campers clocking out at 9pm, whereas I’m more of a night owl and generally go to sleep at 12 on weekdays / 1 on weekends so I don’t think I’m being unreasonable asking for quiet from midnight. I need to get up at 7 myself for work.
I’ve honestly never known anything like it, they don’t sit down and chill EVER. I think a party house would honestly be easier to deal with as that noise is generally contained to a time period. This is non stop stamping and thudding at every hour of every day (no more than 10 seconds break at any given time). The stamping alone is louder than the combined volume of my tv, dishwasher and washing machine on at the same time, so you can imagine how bad it sounds at night. Imagine being almost asleep then abruptly woken by ‘BANG, BANG, BANG’. On repeat. Every few minutes. It’s torture. I also find myself screaming ‘make a fucking decision’ as they repeatedly slam the doors and cupboards open/closed, turn the lights on/off, blinds up/down. It’s like when dogs can’t decide whether they want to go outside or not, so come in and out non stop but after a while you end up just locking the door and refusing the choice because it’s irritating af, but 1000x more annoying. I suspect since she doesn’t leave and therefore doesn’t exercise, this is why she never stops pacing back and forth, to get some steps in? Because otherwise wtf are you doing that requires this much walking in a tiny studio flat??? I don’t know a single human that isn’t either on their phone, reading or watching tv (quietly), either laid in bed or sat on the sofa if they’re awake in the early hours. Why can’t they just sit down?
At this point, the sound of them in any capacity literally boils my blood. I see red the second I hear them. I have little care whether she’s stomping about in the day time (in which yes, I know technically they can do as they please) or whether they’re both going at it in the nighttime. I’ve had enough. How did these jobless idiots even pass referencing? I have had inconsiderate neighbours in the past but they have always left the house at some point so you get a break from it, whereas I think what makes this situation so much harder is that there’s absolutely no respite.
While I genuinely believe they were initially oblivious to how annoying they are, a lot of it has since become malicious and intentional (likely out of revenge). One of their new favourites is blasting the tv max volume at 6am, but only on long enough to wake me up, then quickly turning it down before security can come. Similar with the banging and jumping in which they do things sporadically so that it’s impossible for me to capture on video for evidence unless I record 24/7. She seems quite manipulative too. I’ve been told from staff that she protested ‘she is a small skinny girl who couldn’t possibly make loud stamping noises’ and that she is only walking “normally” (lies, if you’ve lived below someone like this you come to know exactly when they’re intentionally stamping like a dick vs walking normally). And yes, she really played the ‘I’m just a girl’ card. Other examples incl. her refusing to answer the door to security and telling reception if she wants to play loud music when she showers she will do just that (another of her fav antics - nothing like trying to take a work meeting and not being able to hear anything because Leona Lewis ‘bleeding love’ is blasting through the roof). She also regularly turns the lights off and winds the blinds down as soon as security come knocking, proceeds to pretend she was asleep and blames other flats. Unfortunately security tend to believe her when she does this despite me hearing her covering her tracks in real time.
It’s been heavily hinted that they are staying on for a second year (I am livid the building won’t deal with them) and I’ve spent the past week in tears, considering everything in detail…
I know they are Colombian so I accept there may be some cultural differences at play here particularly with the noise and late evenings, but imo the majority of this is just common sense of how not to behave when you live in a flat? I can’t comprehend being that selfish. I have a guy beneath me who is constantly high so probably unaware of what I’m doing, but if I need to go to the toilet in the middle of the night I still tip toe because I’m conscious IT’S THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT and I know he’s trying to sleep beneath me. It’s just basic manners to not be running about non stop in the early hours when you have neighbours in such close proximity and when flats in the UK have paper thin ceilings 🙃 what is it going to take for them to understand that this is not socially acceptable?
I did also wonder in the early days if the insanely late nights were perhaps due to jet lag / being on South American time. However, I then heard him speak (he is definitely British born, no hint of an accent, so likely just Colombian heritage) so that doesn’t really align. She appears to be Colombian born as she has a heavy accent and they speak to each other in Spanish, but it’s almost been a year now so I don’t accept it as a plausible excuse anymore. Is it honestly normal in Colombia to go to bed this late, and by late im talking AFTER 4am? And to therefore not care whether you’re preventing other people sleeping who need to be up for work? If I was told I was stopping someone sleeping I would be so overly conscious of what I was doing and make every effort to stop.
But most intriguingly, I’ve also been thinking a lot about why she doesn’t leave the flat. For those wondering how I know she hasn’t, ofc there is a very small chance she may have left at some point when I’ve been out but over the past year I have (a) rotated my office / wfh schedule weekly so it’s never the same, (b) switched up my exercise sessions on an ongoing basis / not gone at all, (c) actively tested all hours of all days repeatedly across the entire year to work out when she’s not in to only conclude she’s always there (yes, I’m that desperate for a break from her), and (d) I’ve also been ill at various points of the year and so stuck inside myself to know this is probable fact. Not once has she not been there when I’ve been in, she’s the first bang I hear every morning and last thud I hear every night. I hear her doing something literally every ten seconds so it’s not like she could have even quickly nipped to Starbucks and I just didn’t realise. As I mentioned before, I don’t think her not leaving her home is any sort of mental health issue. But is it perhaps more normal than I think in Colombia for a 30y old (childless) female to have zero interest in working / hobbies / friends, to not do anything with their life other than be an annoyance to others, to never leave their house so long as the boyf is bringing money home?? To me, and by UK standards, that is very strange behaviour for someone who appears healthy / wealthy / young, and it’s borderline suspicious given all the context. She comes across as smug and selfish, not like she’s struggling in any way. Even if I didn’t need to work for whatever reason and my partner was happy to be the sole source of income, I would be spending my days out and about doing things, not rotting inside four walls. I also would be making the most of the gym and free amenities if I had all that spare time. What’s the actual point of living in London if you only stay indoors? You might as well get a big house outside the city if you never plan to leave it, as you get a lot more for your £.
I find it more bizarre however that he affirms this behaviour and seems oblivious to how weird it all is. He is clearly a dick too, but it definitely seems to be mostly her in terms of the sheer selfishness and lack of normal etiquette. He’s well educated, living in an expensive home (tbh unsure how they’re funding this on a PhD salary but I get the impression they come from wealthy families so likely have support), he looks well dressed, he appears to be British born so no cultural misunderstanding from his part, so why does he accept some lazy partner (they seem wildly incompatible) and her borderline feral behaviour as acceptable? Why has he not told her to stop if people are constantly complaining? How does he sleep through it? Why does he not think it’s weird she never leaves their home? Even more strange when you know they’re both cramped in a studio flat (usually rented by single people, they could have got a 1 bed instead?), that would be all the more reason to get out imo as you’re constantly on each others toes with no personal space. My family and friends have suggested perhaps she is here illegally which at first I thought was just a ridiculous prospect but honestly as it reaches a year of her hiding indoors, I’m beginning to wonder myself if that may be the case (there’s also no trace of her online, just him).
I’m not sure how I can last another year, I need her to leave so I get a break. I know everyone will say just move but I feel like why should I have to? The London rental market is brutal; why should I lose my home and have to downgrade / potentially end up paying even more, when I’m not the problem.
2024.04.29 17:03 Mirskyc June 1st subletting spare room in my Astoria apartment - $1500/Month
 | I'm seeking a roommate to sublet a spare bedroom in my 2-bedroom, 1-bathroom apartment located in Astoria. Situated just off 31st Ave on 34th Street, the apartment offers easy access to the subway. Broadway NW just 8 minutes away, 30th Ave NW 7 minutes away, and Steinway R 12-minute walk. submitted by Mirskyc to NYCapartments [link] [comments] Rent is $1500 per month, with flexible lease terms, both short-term (minimum 1 month) and long-term (12+ months) stays. Utilities, including internet (very fast), gas, electric, heat, and water, are all included in the rent. The price is locked in for up to 12 months. The room is available furnished with a bed, night stand, mirror, dresser, desk with a chair, and Air Conditioner. The bedroom has a spacious closet with built-in lighting. The apartment has recessed lighting throughout. There is no in-unit laundry but a laundromat is located right next door. The kitchen includes amenities such as an ice maker and filtered water dispenser in the fridge. Unfortunately, the apartment cannot accommodate pets at this time. The spare room will be available starting June 1st If you're interested or have any questions, please don't hesitate to reach out. Thank you https://preview.redd.it/s19z1bm8ofxc1.jpg?width=2048&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d9fe4484c2fe98ad69c10015e9d2af0994867101 https://preview.redd.it/nkacwam8ofxc1.jpg?width=1705&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f242c501a8c4d720e7397a2f554eef6d807e283c https://preview.redd.it/8m5p9dm8ofxc1.jpg?width=2048&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0de2d1bb0dcd124df7536c095f2d10c2317f3aac https://preview.redd.it/244ccfm8ofxc1.jpg?width=1536&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c4d4464c55bf26f314f9446f430125d1b54cc5d5 https://preview.redd.it/h87sdgm8ofxc1.jpg?width=1536&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=45717e122d118c9728215c26f576c77963d5f9d3 https://preview.redd.it/671dwgm8ofxc1.jpg?width=2048&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=381c0518c75080bea0a6bf74297168ca8a65c168 https://preview.redd.it/pnbm9im8ofxc1.jpg?width=1536&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1ba7c6bae9f5865ac4fb0a6dc02d6af0a2f82349 https://preview.redd.it/4vl6kkm8ofxc1.jpg?width=1536&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6fe765d9186df55561fab7fe44b84adde6426311 |
2024.04.29 17:01 Eccentric_Yeti Tinnitus after Cialis
Took 10mg. On day 2 I actually had some decent results. Normally I start losing my erection as soon as I start ejaculating, and can't maintain an erection for the duration of ejaculation. And getting a full erection is impossible, normally.
I also have extremely severe premature ejaculation and orgasms are blunted due to the rapid loss of erection.
The Cialis helped with that. Not like it used to be, but better. Erections were harder and easier to achieve as well as staying hard a bit longer upon ejaculating. I am single now and don't have a partner but it felt like it would help with the PE as well. Normally if I can get an erection it's impossible for me to last more than 1 or 2 seconds upon penetration.
Anyway. 3 days later I took another 10mg. I woke up at 2am with raging tinnitus. It's now been 3 weeks since my last dose, and the tinnitus has been bad 24/7 with no relief.
I'd like to try Cialis again, but I'm scared of making the tinnitus worse or causing even greater hearing problems.
Loud ringing in my ears 24 hours a day isn't the worst thing in the world to me and I could live with this the way it is.
But I'm scared if I take more, it might make it worse or even cause hearing loss, given that the tinnitus has not reduced in intensity for this long after stopping the drug.
Any experiences? Cialis is the only thing that helped so far. At this point I'm considering hanging it up until I get the balls to get a penile implant. The Cialis was not a cure but it did give me more hope than I've had in over 5 years.
submitted by Eccentric_Yeti to erectiledysfunction [link] [comments]
I also have extremely severe premature ejaculation and orgasms are blunted due to the rapid loss of erection.
The Cialis helped with that. Not like it used to be, but better. Erections were harder and easier to achieve as well as staying hard a bit longer upon ejaculating. I am single now and don't have a partner but it felt like it would help with the PE as well. Normally if I can get an erection it's impossible for me to last more than 1 or 2 seconds upon penetration.
Anyway. 3 days later I took another 10mg. I woke up at 2am with raging tinnitus. It's now been 3 weeks since my last dose, and the tinnitus has been bad 24/7 with no relief.
I'd like to try Cialis again, but I'm scared of making the tinnitus worse or causing even greater hearing problems.
Loud ringing in my ears 24 hours a day isn't the worst thing in the world to me and I could live with this the way it is.
But I'm scared if I take more, it might make it worse or even cause hearing loss, given that the tinnitus has not reduced in intensity for this long after stopping the drug.
Any experiences? Cialis is the only thing that helped so far. At this point I'm considering hanging it up until I get the balls to get a penile implant. The Cialis was not a cure but it did give me more hope than I've had in over 5 years.
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- Data-Driven Applications
- Mobile App Development
- Blockchain Technology
- Web & 2D Games
Contact Me Directly for Offers/Tasks:
Please email me at [rmxttmgg@proton.me](mailto:rmxttmgg@proton.me) with any compelling projects (my response is guaranteed). I prioritize email communication and will not be monitoring comments or chat on Reddit. This helps me maintain focus and ensures I can respond to serious inquiries promptly. Upon receiving your email, I will quickly confirm my availability and discuss next steps. (more info below, keep reading)No small “fix issue” offers, I prefer trouble-shooting for long-term clients only.
If you're considering hiring remotely, it's best to avoid overly complicated formalities. Simplifying the process can be more beneficial for both end.
- Web & App Development: Expertise in PHP/Laravel, JavaScript/jQuery, NodeJS, ReactJS, CSS for mobile-responsive designs.
- Full Stack Development: Skilled in both back-end and front-end, ensuring seamless, full-cycle project execution.
- E-Commerce Solutions: Custom online stores with vendor management, shipping, subscriptions, and integrated payments (e.g., PayPal, Stripe).
- Dynamic Websites & CMS: Bespoke content management for text, images, and videos.
- Interactive & Social Media Applications: Development of chat, streaming, and social platforms for engaging user experiences.
- Data-Driven Interfaces: Creation of map, table, calendar, and data pages for insightful information presentation.
(progress and demo driven approach, no hassle, super smooth transactions, easy to work with!)
Specialized Technical Services:- AI & Automation: Advanced implementation of machine learning and AI for automation and smart scripts/servers.
- API Integration: Fluent in integrating diverse APIs for enhanced functionality and interoperability.
- Security & Quality Assurance: Commitment to rigorous testing, including penetration tests and code audits, to ensure top-tier security and quality.
- Blockchain & Cryptocurrency: Secure and forward-thinking development in blockchain and crypto projects.
- Interactive & Game-Based Web Solutions: Custom development for game sites, hobby platforms, and interactive dashboards.
- Adult, NSFW, and Sensitive Content: Experienced in handling projects of all content types with utmost privacy and professionalism.
- Application Cloning: Tailored cloning of existing applications to meet specific business needs.
- Migration & Conversion Services: Expertise in converting or migrating PHP apps to various platforms or updating to the latest versions with a modern stack.
- Continuous Improvement: Offering unlimited revisions for perfection, adaptability to changes, and comprehensive post-launch support.
- Diverse Technology Stack: Proficient with PHP, Python, JavaScript, PostgreSQL, and more to accommodate a broad spectrum of tech requirements.
- Problem Solving: Dedicated to identifying and implementing the best solutions to challenges.
- Precision & Adaptability: Ensuring projects meet exact specifications with meticulous attention to detail and design.
- Comprehensive Service: From conception to deployment, offering end-to-end services for long-term success.
| Rates: Starting at $15-20 per hour, payable in USD/GBP/EUCAD/AUD/NZD etc, BTC/ETH/USDT. Payment methods: Cryptocurrency(preferred), or Wise, Paypal. many other options to accept payments. |
|---|
| Open to negotiation. Higher payments are appreciated but not mandatory. I prioritize projects that genuinely interest me. |
| For Serious Inquiries: Portfolio and previous work available to legitimate buyers. Please email me at [rmxttmgg@proton.me](mailto:rmxttmgg@proton.me). I prefer to discuss projects via email and chat. |
| Exclusive Content: Access to my personal site, private demos, prototypes, and live sites is reserved for committed clients only. |
| Working Hours: Available 7 days a week. Task lists typically finalized within 1-3 days, depending on current workload. FLEXIBLE TIMEZONE |
| Adaptability: Open to any project changes, ensuring flexibility throughout our collaboration. |
| Dedicated Focus: Once a project is entrusted to me, it receives my undivided attention, allowing you to focus on other critical areas with peace of mind. |
| Guarantee: Avoid the frustration of unfulfilled promises from developers. With me, you're assured dedication, focus, and delivery as expected. |
Contact me (more options), Proof, Transactions, Feedback reddit.com/usermxttmgg/comments/155ghpi/web_developer_for_hire_short_or_long_term_projects/
Unfortunately, I am unable to offer my services for free as I have financial obligations to meet. The compensation I am requesting is both fair and necessary.
As a freelancer, I do not receive health insurance or similar benefits; my earnings are directly tied to my workload/output. Please consider this before offering a lower compensation, or realistically assess whether your budget can support the project you envision.I am more than willing to go the extra mile for projects or clients that offer a rewarding experience, especially for those projects in which I have a high level of interest. (your service provider eventually go MIA because of change in interests)
*
**
***
Cheers!
2024.04.29 16:59 rmxttmgg [for hire] 2024 Q2-Q3: Is active and available for hire! Front-end/Back-end Development
For Hire PHP/Python/JavaScript Developer. Front-end/Back-end Development full remote (14+ years freelance exp)
Welcoming Projects of All SizesAccelerated Development: Opt for my beast-mode development service, perfect for MVPs and projects needing a quick turnaround. With timelines ranging from 28 to 56 days, I’ll ensure your product is test-group ready in just 1-2 weeks.
Long-Term Engagement: Ready to support your projects with consistent productivity for months or years.
Exceptional Rates Without Compromising Quality: Benefit from rates that are up to 2x lower than other counterparts, without any sacrifice in the quality of output. I make premium development services more accessible to you.
Reserved for Genuine Business: To ensure dedicated focus and quality, I reserve my schedule for genuine engagements. This includes high-value, long-term projects, or interesting mid-tier projects.
Effortless for Clients: I aim to eliminate any additional effort on your part.
- AI & Generative Technologies
- Automation & Web Scraping
- API Integration & Development
- eCommerce Solutions (WITH ACTUAL ROI)
- Custom Social Media Platforms & Communities
- Website Cloning & Reverse Engineering
- Advanced PHP/WordPress Development
- Data-Driven Applications
- Mobile App Development
- Blockchain Technology
- Web & 2D Games
Contact Me Directly for Offers/Tasks:
Please email me at [rmxttmgg@proton.me](mailto:rmxttmgg@proton.me) with any compelling projects (my response is guaranteed). I prioritize email communication and will not be monitoring comments or chat on Reddit. This helps me maintain focus and ensures I can respond to serious inquiries promptly. Upon receiving your email, I will quickly confirm my availability and discuss next steps. (more info below, keep reading)No small “fix issue” offers, I prefer trouble-shooting for long-term clients only.
If you're considering hiring remotely, it's best to avoid overly complicated formalities. Simplifying the process can be more beneficial for both end.
- Web & App Development: Expertise in PHP/Laravel, JavaScript/jQuery, NodeJS, ReactJS, CSS for mobile-responsive designs.
- Full Stack Development: Skilled in both back-end and front-end, ensuring seamless, full-cycle project execution.
- E-Commerce Solutions: Custom online stores with vendor management, shipping, subscriptions, and integrated payments (e.g., PayPal, Stripe).
- Dynamic Websites & CMS: Bespoke content management for text, images, and videos.
- Interactive & Social Media Applications: Development of chat, streaming, and social platforms for engaging user experiences.
- Data-Driven Interfaces: Creation of map, table, calendar, and data pages for insightful information presentation.
(progress and demo driven approach, no hassle, super smooth transactions, easy to work with!)
Specialized Technical Services:- AI & Automation: Advanced implementation of machine learning and AI for automation and smart scripts/servers.
- API Integration: Fluent in integrating diverse APIs for enhanced functionality and interoperability.
- Security & Quality Assurance: Commitment to rigorous testing, including penetration tests and code audits, to ensure top-tier security and quality.
- Blockchain & Cryptocurrency: Secure and forward-thinking development in blockchain and crypto projects.
- Interactive & Game-Based Web Solutions: Custom development for game sites, hobby platforms, and interactive dashboards.
- Adult, NSFW, and Sensitive Content: Experienced in handling projects of all content types with utmost privacy and professionalism.
- Application Cloning: Tailored cloning of existing applications to meet specific business needs.
- Migration & Conversion Services: Expertise in converting or migrating PHP apps to various platforms or updating to the latest versions with a modern stack.
- Continuous Improvement: Offering unlimited revisions for perfection, adaptability to changes, and comprehensive post-launch support.
- Diverse Technology Stack: Proficient with PHP, Python, JavaScript, PostgreSQL, and more to accommodate a broad spectrum of tech requirements.
- Problem Solving: Dedicated to identifying and implementing the best solutions to challenges.
- Precision & Adaptability: Ensuring projects meet exact specifications with meticulous attention to detail and design.
- Comprehensive Service: From conception to deployment, offering end-to-end services for long-term success.
| Rates: Starting at $15-20 per hour, payable in USD/GBP/EUCAD/AUD/NZD etc, BTC/ETH/USDT. Payment methods: Cryptocurrency(preferred), or Wise, Paypal. many other options to accept payments. |
|---|
| Open to negotiation. Higher payments are appreciated but not mandatory. I prioritize projects that genuinely interest me. |
| For Serious Inquiries: Portfolio and previous work available to legitimate buyers. Please email me at [rmxttmgg@proton.me](mailto:rmxttmgg@proton.me). I prefer to discuss projects via email and chat. |
| Exclusive Content: Access to my personal site, private demos, prototypes, and live sites is reserved for committed clients only. |
| Working Hours: Available 7 days a week. Task lists typically finalized within 1-3 days, depending on current workload. FLEXIBLE TIMEZONE |
| Adaptability: Open to any project changes, ensuring flexibility throughout our collaboration. |
| Dedicated Focus: Once a project is entrusted to me, it receives my undivided attention, allowing you to focus on other critical areas with peace of mind. |
| Guarantee: Avoid the frustration of unfulfilled promises from developers. With me, you're assured dedication, focus, and delivery as expected. |
Contact me (more options), Proof, Transactions, Feedback reddit.com/usermxttmgg/comments/155ghpi/web_developer_for_hire_short_or_long_term_projects/
Unfortunately, I am unable to offer my services for free as I have financial obligations to meet. The compensation I am requesting is both fair and necessary.
As a freelancer, I do not receive health insurance or similar benefits; my earnings are directly tied to my workload/output. Please consider this before offering a lower compensation, or realistically assess whether your budget can support the project you envision.I am more than willing to go the extra mile for projects or clients that offer a rewarding experience, especially for those projects in which I have a high level of interest. (your service provider eventually go MIA because of change in interests)
*
**
***
Cheers!
2024.04.29 16:59 rmxttmgg [for hire] 2024 Q2-Q3: Is active and available for hire! Front-end/Back-end Development
For Hire PHP/Python/JavaScript Developer. Front-end/Back-end Development full remote (14+ years freelance exp)
Welcoming Projects of All SizesAccelerated Development: Opt for my beast-mode development service, perfect for MVPs and projects needing a quick turnaround. With timelines ranging from 28 to 56 days, I’ll ensure your product is test-group ready in just 1-2 weeks.
Long-Term Engagement: Ready to support your projects with consistent productivity for months or years.
Exceptional Rates Without Compromising Quality: Benefit from rates that are up to 2x lower than other counterparts, without any sacrifice in the quality of output. I make premium development services more accessible to you.
Reserved for Genuine Business: To ensure dedicated focus and quality, I reserve my schedule for genuine engagements. This includes high-value, long-term projects, or interesting mid-tier projects.
Effortless for Clients: I aim to eliminate any additional effort on your part.
- AI & Generative Technologies
- Automation & Web Scraping
- API Integration & Development
- eCommerce Solutions (WITH ACTUAL ROI)
- Custom Social Media Platforms & Communities
- Website Cloning & Reverse Engineering
- Advanced PHP/WordPress Development
- Data-Driven Applications
- Mobile App Development
- Blockchain Technology
- Web & 2D Games
Contact Me Directly for Offers/Tasks:
Please email me at [rmxttmgg@proton.me](mailto:rmxttmgg@proton.me) with any compelling projects (my response is guaranteed). I prioritize email communication and will not be monitoring comments or chat on Reddit. This helps me maintain focus and ensures I can respond to serious inquiries promptly. Upon receiving your email, I will quickly confirm my availability and discuss next steps. (more info below, keep reading)No small “fix issue” offers, I prefer trouble-shooting for long-term clients only.
If you're considering hiring remotely, it's best to avoid overly complicated formalities. Simplifying the process can be more beneficial for both end.
- Web & App Development: Expertise in PHP/Laravel, JavaScript/jQuery, NodeJS, ReactJS, CSS for mobile-responsive designs.
- Full Stack Development: Skilled in both back-end and front-end, ensuring seamless, full-cycle project execution.
- E-Commerce Solutions: Custom online stores with vendor management, shipping, subscriptions, and integrated payments (e.g., PayPal, Stripe).
- Dynamic Websites & CMS: Bespoke content management for text, images, and videos.
- Interactive & Social Media Applications: Development of chat, streaming, and social platforms for engaging user experiences.
- Data-Driven Interfaces: Creation of map, table, calendar, and data pages for insightful information presentation.
(progress and demo driven approach, no hassle, super smooth transactions, easy to work with!)
Specialized Technical Services:- AI & Automation: Advanced implementation of machine learning and AI for automation and smart scripts/servers.
- API Integration: Fluent in integrating diverse APIs for enhanced functionality and interoperability.
- Security & Quality Assurance: Commitment to rigorous testing, including penetration tests and code audits, to ensure top-tier security and quality.
- Blockchain & Cryptocurrency: Secure and forward-thinking development in blockchain and crypto projects.
- Interactive & Game-Based Web Solutions: Custom development for game sites, hobby platforms, and interactive dashboards.
- Adult, NSFW, and Sensitive Content: Experienced in handling projects of all content types with utmost privacy and professionalism.
- Application Cloning: Tailored cloning of existing applications to meet specific business needs.
- Migration & Conversion Services: Expertise in converting or migrating PHP apps to various platforms or updating to the latest versions with a modern stack.
- Continuous Improvement: Offering unlimited revisions for perfection, adaptability to changes, and comprehensive post-launch support.
- Diverse Technology Stack: Proficient with PHP, Python, JavaScript, PostgreSQL, and more to accommodate a broad spectrum of tech requirements.
- Problem Solving: Dedicated to identifying and implementing the best solutions to challenges.
- Precision & Adaptability: Ensuring projects meet exact specifications with meticulous attention to detail and design.
- Comprehensive Service: From conception to deployment, offering end-to-end services for long-term success.
| Rates: Starting at $15-20 per hour, payable in USD/GBP/EUCAD/AUD/NZD etc, BTC/ETH/USDT. Payment methods: Cryptocurrency(preferred), or Wise, Paypal. many other options to accept payments. |
|---|
| Open to negotiation. Higher payments are appreciated but not mandatory. I prioritize projects that genuinely interest me. |
| For Serious Inquiries: Portfolio and previous work available to legitimate buyers. Please email me at [rmxttmgg@proton.me](mailto:rmxttmgg@proton.me). I prefer to discuss projects via email and chat. |
| Exclusive Content: Access to my personal site, private demos, prototypes, and live sites is reserved for committed clients only. |
| Working Hours: Available 7 days a week. Task lists typically finalized within 1-3 days, depending on current workload. FLEXIBLE TIMEZONE |
| Adaptability: Open to any project changes, ensuring flexibility throughout our collaboration. |
| Dedicated Focus: Once a project is entrusted to me, it receives my undivided attention, allowing you to focus on other critical areas with peace of mind. |
| Guarantee: Avoid the frustration of unfulfilled promises from developers. With me, you're assured dedication, focus, and delivery as expected. |
Contact me (more options), Proof, Transactions, Feedback reddit.com/usermxttmgg/comments/155ghpi/web_developer_for_hire_short_or_long_term_projects/
Unfortunately, I am unable to offer my services for free as I have financial obligations to meet. The compensation I am requesting is both fair and necessary.
As a freelancer, I do not receive health insurance or similar benefits; my earnings are directly tied to my workload/output. Please consider this before offering a lower compensation, or realistically assess whether your budget can support the project you envision.I am more than willing to go the extra mile for projects or clients that offer a rewarding experience, especially for those projects in which I have a high level of interest. (your service provider eventually go MIA because of change in interests)
*
**
***
Cheers!
2024.04.29 16:59 rmxttmgg [for hire][fullremote] 2024 Q2-Q3: Is active and available for hire! Front-end/Back-end Development
For Hire PHP/Python/JavaScript Developer. Front-end/Back-end Development full remote (14+ years freelance exp)
Welcoming Projects of All SizesAccelerated Development: Opt for my beast-mode development service, perfect for MVPs and projects needing a quick turnaround. With timelines ranging from 28 to 56 days, I’ll ensure your product is test-group ready in just 1-2 weeks.
Long-Term Engagement: Ready to support your projects with consistent productivity for months or years.
Exceptional Rates Without Compromising Quality: Benefit from rates that are up to 2x lower than other counterparts, without any sacrifice in the quality of output. I make premium development services more accessible to you.
Reserved for Genuine Business: To ensure dedicated focus and quality, I reserve my schedule for genuine engagements. This includes high-value, long-term projects, or interesting mid-tier projects.
Effortless for Clients: I aim to eliminate any additional effort on your part.
- AI & Generative Technologies
- Automation & Web Scraping
- API Integration & Development
- eCommerce Solutions (WITH ACTUAL ROI)
- Custom Social Media Platforms & Communities
- Website Cloning & Reverse Engineering
- Advanced PHP/WordPress Development
- Data-Driven Applications
- Mobile App Development
- Blockchain Technology
- Web & 2D Games
Contact Me Directly for Offers/Tasks:
Please email me at [rmxttmgg@proton.me](mailto:rmxttmgg@proton.me) with any compelling projects (my response is guaranteed). I prioritize email communication and will not be monitoring comments or chat on Reddit. This helps me maintain focus and ensures I can respond to serious inquiries promptly. Upon receiving your email, I will quickly confirm my availability and discuss next steps. (more info below, keep reading)No small “fix issue” offers, I prefer trouble-shooting for long-term clients only.
If you're considering hiring remotely, it's best to avoid overly complicated formalities. Simplifying the process can be more beneficial for both end.
- Web & App Development: Expertise in PHP/Laravel, JavaScript/jQuery, NodeJS, ReactJS, CSS for mobile-responsive designs.
- Full Stack Development: Skilled in both back-end and front-end, ensuring seamless, full-cycle project execution.
- E-Commerce Solutions: Custom online stores with vendor management, shipping, subscriptions, and integrated payments (e.g., PayPal, Stripe).
- Dynamic Websites & CMS: Bespoke content management for text, images, and videos.
- Interactive & Social Media Applications: Development of chat, streaming, and social platforms for engaging user experiences.
- Data-Driven Interfaces: Creation of map, table, calendar, and data pages for insightful information presentation.
(progress and demo driven approach, no hassle, super smooth transactions, easy to work with!)
Specialized Technical Services:- AI & Automation: Advanced implementation of machine learning and AI for automation and smart scripts/servers.
- API Integration: Fluent in integrating diverse APIs for enhanced functionality and interoperability.
- Security & Quality Assurance: Commitment to rigorous testing, including penetration tests and code audits, to ensure top-tier security and quality.
- Blockchain & Cryptocurrency: Secure and forward-thinking development in blockchain and crypto projects.
- Interactive & Game-Based Web Solutions: Custom development for game sites, hobby platforms, and interactive dashboards.
- Adult, NSFW, and Sensitive Content: Experienced in handling projects of all content types with utmost privacy and professionalism.
- Application Cloning: Tailored cloning of existing applications to meet specific business needs.
- Migration & Conversion Services: Expertise in converting or migrating PHP apps to various platforms or updating to the latest versions with a modern stack.
- Continuous Improvement: Offering unlimited revisions for perfection, adaptability to changes, and comprehensive post-launch support.
- Diverse Technology Stack: Proficient with PHP, Python, JavaScript, PostgreSQL, and more to accommodate a broad spectrum of tech requirements.
- Problem Solving: Dedicated to identifying and implementing the best solutions to challenges.
- Precision & Adaptability: Ensuring projects meet exact specifications with meticulous attention to detail and design.
- Comprehensive Service: From conception to deployment, offering end-to-end services for long-term success.
| Rates: Starting at $15-20 per hour, payable in USD/GBP/EUCAD/AUD/NZD etc, BTC/ETH/USDT. Payment methods: Cryptocurrency(preferred), or Wise, Paypal. many other options to accept payments. |
|---|
| Open to negotiation. Higher payments are appreciated but not mandatory. I prioritize projects that genuinely interest me. |
| For Serious Inquiries: Portfolio and previous work available to legitimate buyers. Please email me at [rmxttmgg@proton.me](mailto:rmxttmgg@proton.me). I prefer to discuss projects via email and chat. |
| Exclusive Content: Access to my personal site, private demos, prototypes, and live sites is reserved for committed clients only. |
| Working Hours: Available 7 days a week. Task lists typically finalized within 1-3 days, depending on current workload. FLEXIBLE TIMEZONE |
| Adaptability: Open to any project changes, ensuring flexibility throughout our collaboration. |
| Dedicated Focus: Once a project is entrusted to me, it receives my undivided attention, allowing you to focus on other critical areas with peace of mind. |
| Guarantee: Avoid the frustration of unfulfilled promises from developers. With me, you're assured dedication, focus, and delivery as expected. |
Contact me (more options), Proof, Transactions, Feedback reddit.com/usermxttmgg/comments/155ghpi/web_developer_for_hire_short_or_long_term_projects/
Unfortunately, I am unable to offer my services for free as I have financial obligations to meet. The compensation I am requesting is both fair and necessary.
As a freelancer, I do not receive health insurance or similar benefits; my earnings are directly tied to my workload/output. Please consider this before offering a lower compensation, or realistically assess whether your budget can support the project you envision.I am more than willing to go the extra mile for projects or clients that offer a rewarding experience, especially for those projects in which I have a high level of interest. (your service provider eventually go MIA because of change in interests)
*
**
***
Cheers!
2024.04.29 16:59 rmxttmgg [for hire] 2024 Q2-Q3: Is active and available for hire! Front-end/Back-end Development
For Hire PHP/Python/JavaScript Developer. Front-end/Back-end Development full remote (14+ years freelance exp)
Welcoming Projects of All SizesAccelerated Development: Opt for my beast-mode development service, perfect for MVPs and projects needing a quick turnaround. With timelines ranging from 28 to 56 days, I’ll ensure your product is test-group ready in just 1-2 weeks.
Long-Term Engagement: Ready to support your projects with consistent productivity for months or years.
Exceptional Rates Without Compromising Quality: Benefit from rates that are up to 2x lower than other counterparts, without any sacrifice in the quality of output. I make premium development services more accessible to you.
Reserved for Genuine Business: To ensure dedicated focus and quality, I reserve my schedule for genuine engagements. This includes high-value, long-term projects, or interesting mid-tier projects.
Effortless for Clients: I aim to eliminate any additional effort on your part.
- AI & Generative Technologies
- Automation & Web Scraping
- API Integration & Development
- eCommerce Solutions (WITH ACTUAL ROI)
- Custom Social Media Platforms & Communities
- Website Cloning & Reverse Engineering
- Advanced PHP/WordPress Development
- Data-Driven Applications
- Mobile App Development
- Blockchain Technology
- Web & 2D Games
Contact Me Directly for Offers/Tasks:
Please email me at [rmxttmgg@proton.me](mailto:rmxttmgg@proton.me) with any compelling projects (my response is guaranteed). I prioritize email communication and will not be monitoring comments or chat on Reddit. This helps me maintain focus and ensures I can respond to serious inquiries promptly. Upon receiving your email, I will quickly confirm my availability and discuss next steps. (more info below, keep reading)No small “fix issue” offers, I prefer trouble-shooting for long-term clients only.
If you're considering hiring remotely, it's best to avoid overly complicated formalities. Simplifying the process can be more beneficial for both end.
- Web & App Development: Expertise in PHP/Laravel, JavaScript/jQuery, NodeJS, ReactJS, CSS for mobile-responsive designs.
- Full Stack Development: Skilled in both back-end and front-end, ensuring seamless, full-cycle project execution.
- E-Commerce Solutions: Custom online stores with vendor management, shipping, subscriptions, and integrated payments (e.g., PayPal, Stripe).
- Dynamic Websites & CMS: Bespoke content management for text, images, and videos.
- Interactive & Social Media Applications: Development of chat, streaming, and social platforms for engaging user experiences.
- Data-Driven Interfaces: Creation of map, table, calendar, and data pages for insightful information presentation.
(progress and demo driven approach, no hassle, super smooth transactions, easy to work with!)
Specialized Technical Services:- AI & Automation: Advanced implementation of machine learning and AI for automation and smart scripts/servers.
- API Integration: Fluent in integrating diverse APIs for enhanced functionality and interoperability.
- Security & Quality Assurance: Commitment to rigorous testing, including penetration tests and code audits, to ensure top-tier security and quality.
- Blockchain & Cryptocurrency: Secure and forward-thinking development in blockchain and crypto projects.
- Interactive & Game-Based Web Solutions: Custom development for game sites, hobby platforms, and interactive dashboards.
- Adult, NSFW, and Sensitive Content: Experienced in handling projects of all content types with utmost privacy and professionalism.
- Application Cloning: Tailored cloning of existing applications to meet specific business needs.
- Migration & Conversion Services: Expertise in converting or migrating PHP apps to various platforms or updating to the latest versions with a modern stack.
- Continuous Improvement: Offering unlimited revisions for perfection, adaptability to changes, and comprehensive post-launch support.
- Diverse Technology Stack: Proficient with PHP, Python, JavaScript, PostgreSQL, and more to accommodate a broad spectrum of tech requirements.
- Problem Solving: Dedicated to identifying and implementing the best solutions to challenges.
- Precision & Adaptability: Ensuring projects meet exact specifications with meticulous attention to detail and design.
- Comprehensive Service: From conception to deployment, offering end-to-end services for long-term success.
| Rates: Starting at $15-20 per hour, payable in USD/GBP/EUCAD/AUD/NZD etc, BTC/ETH/USDT. Payment methods: Cryptocurrency(preferred), or Wise, Paypal. many other options to accept payments. |
|---|
| Open to negotiation. Higher payments are appreciated but not mandatory. I prioritize projects that genuinely interest me. |
| For Serious Inquiries: Portfolio and previous work available to legitimate buyers. Please email me at [rmxttmgg@proton.me](mailto:rmxttmgg@proton.me). I prefer to discuss projects via email and chat. |
| Exclusive Content: Access to my personal site, private demos, prototypes, and live sites is reserved for committed clients only. |
| Working Hours: Available 7 days a week. Task lists typically finalized within 1-3 days, depending on current workload. FLEXIBLE TIMEZONE |
| Adaptability: Open to any project changes, ensuring flexibility throughout our collaboration. |
| Dedicated Focus: Once a project is entrusted to me, it receives my undivided attention, allowing you to focus on other critical areas with peace of mind. |
| Guarantee: Avoid the frustration of unfulfilled promises from developers. With me, you're assured dedication, focus, and delivery as expected. |
Contact me (more options), Proof, Transactions, Feedback reddit.com/usermxttmgg/comments/155ghpi/web_developer_for_hire_short_or_long_term_projects/
Unfortunately, I am unable to offer my services for free as I have financial obligations to meet. The compensation I am requesting is both fair and necessary.
As a freelancer, I do not receive health insurance or similar benefits; my earnings are directly tied to my workload/output. Please consider this before offering a lower compensation, or realistically assess whether your budget can support the project you envision.I am more than willing to go the extra mile for projects or clients that offer a rewarding experience, especially for those projects in which I have a high level of interest. (your service provider eventually go MIA because of change in interests)
*
**
***
Cheers!
2024.04.29 16:58 Moist_Nut Physical stabbing pains in response to many different things??
Some info on me: 18M, UK, 5 foot 11 inches, 61.8kg, not currently taking any medication, waiting on results from a genetic hemochromatosis test.
Hi all, I'm needing some help with a problem that has troubled be for a few years now (it my memory its been happening for 4-5 years now. But I don't know what it is... I and my family refer to them as my "flares". I'll list symptoms first: my body temperature will skyrocket and I'll get uncomfortably hot for the duration of the flare, but the worst part is intense stabbing pains all over my body but primarily all concentrated on my torso and my head, really distressing and painful itchy feeling, like pins and needles but leagues worse, after at most a few minutes of flaring my temperature will drop back down, my skin goes back to normal and the pain fades away, and im left just feeling clammy...
But it's what triggers it confuses me, it's triggered by quite a few things but mostly it feels like a stress response. A few of the things that caused it are: being too warm, like if I go I to a room that's too hot or I stay in the sun too long I'll flare. Doing cardio, like if I exert myself running I'll flare, but weight lifting rarely does it?? If I hurt myself like stub my toe it'll send like a heat wave through my body and if it's quite bad I'll flare. Or if I slip and scare myself briefly I'll start overheating then flare. The worst part though, is my social anxiety if I feel like I'm being judged or feeling anxious when talking to someone I flare, really really bad. I'm writing this because I just walked up to a bus driver and asked "Are we able to get on yet?" And he replied "No, going to park for a bit first," and that was that, but I got really scared when asking him and I flared really fucking bad and just paced in the shade for like 5 minutes with really bad stabbing pains until it calmed down, all because I asked one sentence?!
Feel free to ask for anymore details you need, I really want to fix this before University... Thanks in advance,
submitted by Moist_Nut to AskDocs [link] [comments]
Hi all, I'm needing some help with a problem that has troubled be for a few years now (it my memory its been happening for 4-5 years now. But I don't know what it is... I and my family refer to them as my "flares". I'll list symptoms first: my body temperature will skyrocket and I'll get uncomfortably hot for the duration of the flare, but the worst part is intense stabbing pains all over my body but primarily all concentrated on my torso and my head, really distressing and painful itchy feeling, like pins and needles but leagues worse, after at most a few minutes of flaring my temperature will drop back down, my skin goes back to normal and the pain fades away, and im left just feeling clammy...
But it's what triggers it confuses me, it's triggered by quite a few things but mostly it feels like a stress response. A few of the things that caused it are: being too warm, like if I go I to a room that's too hot or I stay in the sun too long I'll flare. Doing cardio, like if I exert myself running I'll flare, but weight lifting rarely does it?? If I hurt myself like stub my toe it'll send like a heat wave through my body and if it's quite bad I'll flare. Or if I slip and scare myself briefly I'll start overheating then flare. The worst part though, is my social anxiety if I feel like I'm being judged or feeling anxious when talking to someone I flare, really really bad. I'm writing this because I just walked up to a bus driver and asked "Are we able to get on yet?" And he replied "No, going to park for a bit first," and that was that, but I got really scared when asking him and I flared really fucking bad and just paced in the shade for like 5 minutes with really bad stabbing pains until it calmed down, all because I asked one sentence?!
Feel free to ask for anymore details you need, I really want to fix this before University... Thanks in advance,
2024.04.29 16:57 Ambitious-Frame-6766 2:52 Eugene Marathon Debut
Race Information
- Name: Eugene Marathon
- Date: April 28, 2024
- Distance: 26.2 miles
- Location: Eugene, OR
- Website: www.eugenemarathon.com
- Strava: https://strava.app.link/FrLckJpWbJb
- Time: 2:52:32
Goals
Goal Description Completed?-------------------------------
A 2:48 No
B 2:50 No
Splits
Mile Time------------
1 6:23
2 6:33
3 6:33
4 6:41
5 6:39
6 6:19
7 6:29
8 6:36
9 6:34
10 6:19
11 6:17
12 6:28
13 6:34
14 6:21
15 6:21
16 6:24
17 6:32
18 6:31
19 6:37
20 6:42
21 6:48
22 6:52
23 6:55
24 6:54
25 6:55
26 6:45
27 6:58
Training
For context, I'm a 22-year-old male, with no background in sports or athletics. I began running very casually sometime in September after being invited to run the Philadelphia half marathon. It was a brutal introduction to the sport, but it was incredibly fun and left me wanting more. After taking the month of December off, I decided to train with a purpose and almost immediately ran into roadblocks.Prior injuries, overuse, and my own ignorance plagued me for weeks at a time. I missed roughly 2.5 weeks of training before running the Austin Half Marathon in February.
Another fantastic experience & a much improved time of 1:25:XX. The race made me feel much better about my fitness moving forward, but I knew there was still a ton of work to be done. During the race I developed some serious IT band issues, at one point physically preventing my knee from extending fully.
This was another setback that took me out of training for roughly two weeks.
Flash forward to the final eight weeks leading up to Eugene, I slowly built up my mileage and structured my training plan.
I had the best eight weeks of training I could've asked for, building up to a ridiculously high peak of 70 miles (averaged 35-40 the entire block).
Not wanting to give up this successful string of training, I somewhat butchered my taper, running 55 miles the week before the race.
Pre-race
Leading into the race, there were more questions than answers in my mind.I truly had no idea what I'd be able to run, especially being my first full length marathon. I also didn't know how fueling was going to go, as I'd never trained with gels nor drink mix.
The morning of, I had oatmeal, a banana, and some honey. Knowing I'd probably screw up my fueling (Maurten 320 + 160) I'd decided to snack on some Maurten bars in the hours leading up to the race.
Once at check in, I started to sip on another bottle I'd brought with Maurten 320 & Electrolytes.
Being that I nearly sh*t myself during the Philly half, I knew I needed to hit the porta potty before race start.
However, much to my dismay, the line was unbelievably long and the minutes to start were ticking down. I managed to exit the porta potty two minutes prior to race start, make my way to the line, jump the gate, and calm down a bit before the gun.
Race Start / Early Miles
Almost immediately, I knew it wasn't my day. The effort for speed was much higher than normal & my brain was already giving me red flags.I noticed the three hour pacer was Infront of me, but I was relieved to see that he went out much too fast, meaning I was on track.
As we weaved through the streets of Eugene, those around me were jostling for position, many of them bumping elbows with me.
I knew the streets were too crowded to make any real progress, so I settled in & waited for the time to come.
About 3 miles in, the roads opened up & I managed to get ahead of the '3 hour' pacer, running roughly my goal time.
The early hills were punchy & again, the effort seemed higher than normal, but I stuck to my plan & used the downhill to recover (A decision that paid off late in the race).
Roughly 4 miles in, the shin splints that I felt at the start had subsided and I felt I could truly settle in and cruise.
Miles 5-13
Around mile five I glanced down at my heart rate to double check I wasn't setting myself up for failure & it read 175.I rolled off the gas at one point and made the decision that I won't return to goal pace until my effort & HR come down.
Roughly half a mile later, things were stabilized, I found a rythm, and I returned to goal pace/goal effort.
These miles were interesting, as those running my goal time were up the road & the people around me were a touch slower than I wanted to go.
In this time, I passed a number of runners, eventually meeting a very cool guy from Guadalajara, Mexico named Rodrigo.
From mile 10-13 we chatted about visiting Mexico, the US, the Baja Sur, family, and the like. Eventually I told Rodrigo I'm going for a negative split & he shouldn't stick with me.
Miles 13-18
These miles were very calming, running along the Willamette River, listening to the water crash down atop the rocks.I actually removed my headphones just to listen to the water.
In this time, I met another great guy, David, from Dallas, Texas and had another conversation.
This was a nice distraction from the pain my feet were in at this point.
Eventually we found a pack of 4 runners which I tucked behind and ran with.
Miles 19-22
Almost like a light switch, we crossed the mile 19 mark & I felt side stitches shooting through me.Typically, I'd ignore them, however the intensity of the pain caught me off guard. Knowing I still had 7.2 miles, I decided to roll off the pace slightly, focus on breathing and return to goal pace once I feel better.
David and the other four runners disappeared into the distance.
At mile 20, the stitches went away, but again like a light switch, my legs had turned to giant immovable weights. I tried to pick it up a touch but was met something I'd never encountered.
When I tried to pick it up, the effort was so astronomically high that I began to question if I'd finish the race.
Miles 22-26
At this point, the only thing I could tell myself was to run the mile I was in.There was a decision to make, stop, take a break, end the suffering, or keep running, knowing that even if it's slow, it keeps me in the running for my goal.
Every mile felt like an eternity, I saw a handful of runners who decided to stop, the crowd would cheer intermittently, and I had no energy to give back, it felt awful.
Crossing mile 24, I told myself this myself finishing may be the most difficult thing I'd ever done, but if I stick with the pace, it will be the most reward thing I'd ever do.
I ended running with someone for the final couple miles, at one-point mis stepping and nearly falling & taking them out in the process.
Race finish
Getting out onto the street leading and seeing Hayward Field in the distance felt like a long-awaited gift.As I approached the field, you could hear the crowd screaming at the top of their lungs, the feeling was electric.
Entering Hayward Field, the final 200M brought tears to my eyes.
Almost every seat was filled, the stadium's lights were bright and numerous, the setting was just unbelievable.
I crossed the finish line & nearly fell again, where the medical staff rushed over.
After telling them I was fine, I sat down and just took in the scene, which I can't do enough justice in this one post.
Post race
After talking with some of the folks I ran with, I made my way to the Boys and Girls club tent where I saw all of the great people who organized the fundraiser & even bumped into the third place female.After some great conversation, we all went out and got some well-deserved beers and celebrated our accomplishments.
I can't thank this sub enough for everything it offers. It's so valuable to read the discussions and learn from others. Without this sub I don't think my result would've been possible.
I really enjoyed the weekend and am so happy for everything that took place. I'm hoping to jump into a new training block and see what I can do in a few months' time.
My personal take aways
This was a new experience for me and presented some new challenges.I feel like I've learned a ton, but I am left pondering a handful of things.
- Ignore the crowd at the race start, be decisive, do not feel the need to stick with anyone. It is way too easy to get sucked into a group going too quickly.
- Bad patches happen. During the course of the race, I felt awful for miles at a time, but it always went away. It seems too easy to give up, have faith, stick to your goal and trust yourself to persevere.
- Line up in the Corral early. Having to jump the gate 30 seconds before start did not set a good tone for the race.
- Don't be afraid to change plans mid-race. This distance was really hard, and my goals may have been a bit too ambitious. I realized early on that I'm in it for the long haul, so I dialed things back.
Questions
I would love to hear if anyone has input after reading my experience & can maybe speak to what took place through the story.- What is 'bonking'? Is that what happened to me? Is this why my legs felt heavy and immovable?
- What is 'blowing up'? My pace increased in the last 10k, which is the opposite of what I intended. Does that fall under 'blowing up'?
- Are there secrets to negative splitting? I knew it'd be hard, but yesterday it felt impossible.
Made with a new race report generator created by herumph.
2024.04.29 16:56 ConfectionDifficult1 No longer ovulating?
My husband and I have been trying for about 8 months, tracking OPKs for 7. As long as I’ve been tracking, I’ve had a clear LH leak every month. For about 5 months or so I’ve also been tracking BBT and after every LH peak I’ve had my BBT rise until I got my period. I’m assuming I likely was ovulating this whole time.
I’m 36 so around the 6-7 month mark of trying, we began working with a fertility doctor. We’re still in the early stages and waiting on test results.
However last month (and the first month with the fertility doctor), I didn’t ovulate. I never found a clear LH peak on my OPKs. I thought I maybe had a positive test at one point but the line wasn’t nearly as dark as usual, and as I tested my BBT it never rose. The fertility clinic also confirmed from my tests that I didn’t ovulate. I never got my period so they put me on Provera for a week to trigger a bleed, which it did.
However I’m around the time I should be ovulating and I haven’t gotten a positive OPK nor has my BBT risen so I don’t think I missed the peak. It’s so frustrating that this all happened when I started seeing the fertility doctor as this all seemed to be “working” as expected before. I don’t know if maybe I’m just overly stressed or something else is going on. I’m also sad because I had an HSG recently and read that it may increase fertility for a couple of months but of course I’m not ovulating anyway so there goes that.
I guess this is just me venting but I’m really scared this is happening and frustrated with the timing of it all. Before this, I always had regular periods so I don’t get why everything is so thrown off now. Has anyone had a similar experience?
submitted by ConfectionDifficult1 to TryingForABaby [link] [comments]
I’m 36 so around the 6-7 month mark of trying, we began working with a fertility doctor. We’re still in the early stages and waiting on test results.
However last month (and the first month with the fertility doctor), I didn’t ovulate. I never found a clear LH peak on my OPKs. I thought I maybe had a positive test at one point but the line wasn’t nearly as dark as usual, and as I tested my BBT it never rose. The fertility clinic also confirmed from my tests that I didn’t ovulate. I never got my period so they put me on Provera for a week to trigger a bleed, which it did.
However I’m around the time I should be ovulating and I haven’t gotten a positive OPK nor has my BBT risen so I don’t think I missed the peak. It’s so frustrating that this all happened when I started seeing the fertility doctor as this all seemed to be “working” as expected before. I don’t know if maybe I’m just overly stressed or something else is going on. I’m also sad because I had an HSG recently and read that it may increase fertility for a couple of months but of course I’m not ovulating anyway so there goes that.
I guess this is just me venting but I’m really scared this is happening and frustrated with the timing of it all. Before this, I always had regular periods so I don’t get why everything is so thrown off now. Has anyone had a similar experience?
2024.04.29 16:49 Potential_Dare2250 My husband wants a divorce because I’m mentally Ill. contains sexual content
This will be long, thanks if u make it to the end. I (F40’s) met my husband (40s) 10 years ago, and we fell hard for each other. Shortly after we got married things changed. This man had barely raised his voice to me, we’d had one bad argument with some yelling and name calling but nothing too over the top.
Then a week after we got married, we had an argument over something stupid, and he threatened to divorce me. I let it go because we’d had a big week, we were both tired and angry and being AHs to each other.
But then the next argument (and these were rare), it happened again. And again. And again. Each time I’d get really depressed and tell him he’s messing with my head and to stop it.
In between all of this we had a few rough patches but we made it through and the rest of the time we were amazing together, just like it was. We were best friends and all our favourite hobbies were stuff we did together. Everything was together. Except that I didn’t feel like I could talk about things anymore and looking back I see I started to withdraw.
My husband loves anal. I was never into it but tried it with him and enjoyed myself, so we did it a lot. Then, due to a combination of things (mainly my depression) I started feeling like “any ass and vajayjay will do” and it wasn’t me he was having sex with (I don’t think he had an affair, just that he was no longer sleeping with the love of his life). This is when menopause hit, and my sex drive tanked completely. Over the years this has caused a lot of arguments - even when we’re good sex is rarely like it was for me. I still do it often, we still do anal occasionally, but it’s rare that it feels like the best thing in the world, and it used to every time. So as much as I’ve tried to keep up with his high sex drive, it’s been a challenge.
So over the years, we have an argument every few months about my shitty sex drive (which I’ve tried numerous things to fix, including HRT which kickstarted memory loss due to PTSD), I promise to try and do better, because surely this is me right? He tells me sex is good, and the next day I’m told it’s been crap for years - he was just saying that to try and encourage me to do better.
About 5years ago, I started getting intrusive ruminating thoughts. I’d gotten them on and off after bad experiences in life but these were obsessive. I’m now at the point where it’s constant, and I’ve got every fight, name calling and divorce threat looping through my head in a never ending cycle of hatred (there’s other things in my loop besides this but I rarely have other stuff added these days). I started hearing voices. One night it felt like someone was bouncing on the end of my bed but I was all alone. My medication had stopped working properly but I’d been scared to stop taking it, but after our last big fight I agreed to try. But, in exchange he had to stop the crap.
And he did. He promised if I got worse we’d go back to the dr and try something else. I explained my loop, why one minute I’ll be fine and then burst into tears (imagine never, ever being able to get past anything because it’s always fresh in your mind like it just happened). He would hold me and let me cry when I needed it because he finally understood that I just needed to let it out.
This is where it gets a bit weird. While role playing during sex a few months ago I discovered that if I acted like an animal (a kitten), that I felt at peace. He noticed it too. So we explored that. It took me awhile to be comfortable and not feel like a freak. But he was encouraging because he loves weird and it turned him on just watching and he could see how much it helped me. It eventually turned into me rubbing my face all over him, smelling and breathing him in, and in those moments I was at peace. If he could see I was struggling, or if I put on my cat mask because I needed to feel invisible, he’d pull me in for a snuggle and it helped so much.
I had 2 whole weeks of blissful silence before it started back up.
As I got more confident (I’m very unconfident and have a low view of myself), I would occasionally bring it into sex - sniff his dick and balls, rub on him, make animal noises, we would bite each other etc. but he’d always be “this is your thing, u do what makes u happy, I’m just happy you’re sharing this with me”. That takes me to Saturday night during sex and he starts talking dirty, which is fine, it involves the animal personas - like get me a collar and lead, which is fine.
But then he mentions he wanted me to squat in the shower and pee while I bark like a dog. If he’s wanted me to just go pee I’d have been like “sure”, but the bark like a dog part really put me off and it felt like he was taking over. When I reminded him this was my thing, he got upset, left the room and slept on the couch. But first sent me nasty messages which I didn’t brother reading. I replied just saying the cat is my thing and he was trying to turn it into something it’s not (I was worried it would stop working).
We’ve barely spoken since then. He txt saying he’d given me a nice life (not denying that) and why am I always stressed and cant I show my appreciation. We work together in our own business - his role is harder than mine and I work less hours, but in exchange I cook his meals and clean up after him even when we work the same hours so I thought I was showing my appreciation? (I also quit my very good job a few months ago to be all in on this business which he knew I was scared to do).
I tried talking yesterday when he told me I was unfair - I told him he was more unfair by moving his friend into our house and then not making him clean up after himself, leaving it to me. For two years. That I wanted his friend out (there a lot more to that story) and he said he’d move out with him. I told him to stop adding into my loop and enjoy living in filth with his friend. I’m not one to say mean stuff when I’m angry so didn’t say much more than this and stuck to the facts when I did.
Tonight he comes in and tells me he wants a divorce. He doesn’t want to split up but has to. That he knows I can’t help it and doesn’t blame me but I’m destroying his mental health. That he decided awhile ago that if no meds worked for me that he was done. But he realises that he’s now left me with 2 kids (that he’s raised since they were little and is my daughters best friend) and no job. So will stick around until I get on my feet. Considering I forget conversations while I’m having them I’m not sure what job I’d actually get.
If u made it to the end, thank you. There’s obvs more to this but this is the most I’ve ever told anyone, and no one else knows about the cat - which was literally the only thing that helped me keep those thoughts away. Don’t worry I’m not suicidal I’d never leave my kids. I just needed to get this out
submitted by Potential_Dare2250 to mentalillness [link] [comments]
Then a week after we got married, we had an argument over something stupid, and he threatened to divorce me. I let it go because we’d had a big week, we were both tired and angry and being AHs to each other.
But then the next argument (and these were rare), it happened again. And again. And again. Each time I’d get really depressed and tell him he’s messing with my head and to stop it.
In between all of this we had a few rough patches but we made it through and the rest of the time we were amazing together, just like it was. We were best friends and all our favourite hobbies were stuff we did together. Everything was together. Except that I didn’t feel like I could talk about things anymore and looking back I see I started to withdraw.
My husband loves anal. I was never into it but tried it with him and enjoyed myself, so we did it a lot. Then, due to a combination of things (mainly my depression) I started feeling like “any ass and vajayjay will do” and it wasn’t me he was having sex with (I don’t think he had an affair, just that he was no longer sleeping with the love of his life). This is when menopause hit, and my sex drive tanked completely. Over the years this has caused a lot of arguments - even when we’re good sex is rarely like it was for me. I still do it often, we still do anal occasionally, but it’s rare that it feels like the best thing in the world, and it used to every time. So as much as I’ve tried to keep up with his high sex drive, it’s been a challenge.
So over the years, we have an argument every few months about my shitty sex drive (which I’ve tried numerous things to fix, including HRT which kickstarted memory loss due to PTSD), I promise to try and do better, because surely this is me right? He tells me sex is good, and the next day I’m told it’s been crap for years - he was just saying that to try and encourage me to do better.
About 5years ago, I started getting intrusive ruminating thoughts. I’d gotten them on and off after bad experiences in life but these were obsessive. I’m now at the point where it’s constant, and I’ve got every fight, name calling and divorce threat looping through my head in a never ending cycle of hatred (there’s other things in my loop besides this but I rarely have other stuff added these days). I started hearing voices. One night it felt like someone was bouncing on the end of my bed but I was all alone. My medication had stopped working properly but I’d been scared to stop taking it, but after our last big fight I agreed to try. But, in exchange he had to stop the crap.
And he did. He promised if I got worse we’d go back to the dr and try something else. I explained my loop, why one minute I’ll be fine and then burst into tears (imagine never, ever being able to get past anything because it’s always fresh in your mind like it just happened). He would hold me and let me cry when I needed it because he finally understood that I just needed to let it out.
This is where it gets a bit weird. While role playing during sex a few months ago I discovered that if I acted like an animal (a kitten), that I felt at peace. He noticed it too. So we explored that. It took me awhile to be comfortable and not feel like a freak. But he was encouraging because he loves weird and it turned him on just watching and he could see how much it helped me. It eventually turned into me rubbing my face all over him, smelling and breathing him in, and in those moments I was at peace. If he could see I was struggling, or if I put on my cat mask because I needed to feel invisible, he’d pull me in for a snuggle and it helped so much.
I had 2 whole weeks of blissful silence before it started back up.
As I got more confident (I’m very unconfident and have a low view of myself), I would occasionally bring it into sex - sniff his dick and balls, rub on him, make animal noises, we would bite each other etc. but he’d always be “this is your thing, u do what makes u happy, I’m just happy you’re sharing this with me”. That takes me to Saturday night during sex and he starts talking dirty, which is fine, it involves the animal personas - like get me a collar and lead, which is fine.
But then he mentions he wanted me to squat in the shower and pee while I bark like a dog. If he’s wanted me to just go pee I’d have been like “sure”, but the bark like a dog part really put me off and it felt like he was taking over. When I reminded him this was my thing, he got upset, left the room and slept on the couch. But first sent me nasty messages which I didn’t brother reading. I replied just saying the cat is my thing and he was trying to turn it into something it’s not (I was worried it would stop working).
We’ve barely spoken since then. He txt saying he’d given me a nice life (not denying that) and why am I always stressed and cant I show my appreciation. We work together in our own business - his role is harder than mine and I work less hours, but in exchange I cook his meals and clean up after him even when we work the same hours so I thought I was showing my appreciation? (I also quit my very good job a few months ago to be all in on this business which he knew I was scared to do).
I tried talking yesterday when he told me I was unfair - I told him he was more unfair by moving his friend into our house and then not making him clean up after himself, leaving it to me. For two years. That I wanted his friend out (there a lot more to that story) and he said he’d move out with him. I told him to stop adding into my loop and enjoy living in filth with his friend. I’m not one to say mean stuff when I’m angry so didn’t say much more than this and stuck to the facts when I did.
Tonight he comes in and tells me he wants a divorce. He doesn’t want to split up but has to. That he knows I can’t help it and doesn’t blame me but I’m destroying his mental health. That he decided awhile ago that if no meds worked for me that he was done. But he realises that he’s now left me with 2 kids (that he’s raised since they were little and is my daughters best friend) and no job. So will stick around until I get on my feet. Considering I forget conversations while I’m having them I’m not sure what job I’d actually get.
If u made it to the end, thank you. There’s obvs more to this but this is the most I’ve ever told anyone, and no one else knows about the cat - which was literally the only thing that helped me keep those thoughts away. Don’t worry I’m not suicidal I’d never leave my kids. I just needed to get this out
2024.04.29 16:49 SUBtoAMB_Garage Tuning, Jetting, and Carburetor Guide
 | Tuning the CarburetorEspecially for motorized bikes, its one thing to build an engine, but its a WHOLE different rodeo for tuning one. One of the most asked questions that I have seen is HOW someone would go about tuning the carburetor, picking out one, and getting your engine running in tip-top shape. There are MANY ways you could do this, but I thought I would jot down my method of doing things for the reader.Before TuningHowever, BEFORE you even start trying to tune your carburetor, MAKE SURE you have NO air leaks, you are using the PROPER spark plug (NGK 6-8 heat range), and you are using the the proper full synthetic premix oil. It is also important to make sure you are using fresh fuel and your engine is operating with the proper compression. This ensures there are no complications during the tuning process and you dont have to back-track if there IS any issues.If your engine does not run before you start tuning your carburetor, MAKE SURE you have spark with the aid of this diagnostics guide. Being Familiar With Your CarburetorA carburetor uses what are called JETS, which are used to control the flow of the fuel in a specific fuel circuit. The MOST important aspect of tuning your carburetor is KNOWING exactly what you are doing. If you don't know what all the adjustments do, you could very likely DESTROY your engine when you try to tune it.There are primarily 3 types of jets. Those being the Pilot jet, the Needle jet, and the Main jet. The pilot jet is what controls the fuel flow from idle to ¼ throttle. The needle jet manages fuel flow between ¼ and ¾ throttle. And, in similar manner, the main jet controls ¾ to full throttle. As I said, these jetting circuits overlap a bit, as you can see. Keep in mind that all of these adjustments slightly overlap one another so there are no dead spots. However, the places where these adjustments overlap can cause confusion while tuning, such as a bog down low in the RPM’s might sound and feel identical to a pilot jet issue, but actually requires a needle-clip adjustment. There are also (usually) 2 adjustment screws on the exterior of the carburetor. The first (which is usually easier to access and larger in size) is the idle control screw. This screw is responsible for cracking open the throttle (a tiny bit) in order to set the idle to the appropriate RPM speed. Tightening clockwise will raise the idle speed and loosening it decreases the idle speed. The second adjustment screw (which is usually smaller and less accessible) is responsible for adding or restricting airflow to the pilot jet. So, by tightening clockwise, you are restricting airflow and richening the pilot circuit. However, loosening counter-clockwise will add more air, leaning out the pilot circuit. How To Start TuningNow that you know all the adjustment circuits and what functions they serve, you can start ACTUALLY tuning your carburetor. Now, for a beginner, you can take 2 approaches: The blind guessing game or the educated guessing game. Of course, however, if you have tuned as many carburetors as I have, there is no guessing involved.If your engine runs, you need to learn how to set the idle. There are many misconceptions about idle speed, etc, but the entire job of the idle is to slightly crack open the throttle in order to keep the engine running. A perfect idle is one that is IMPORTANT NOTE: MAKE SURE you have your engine warmed up and has been running for a few minutes before tuning. Dont worry about this if your carburetor is SO out of tune your engine wont start. Though, keep in mind that the engine runs different when warmed up compared to cold, which can throw the tune COMPLETELY off if you start tuning when it is cold. Though, before you start messing with these adjustments, you need to learn how to determine a rich tune and a lean tune. There are many key distinctions between these two that not a lot of people know of. Firstly, lets discuss BOGGING! Many people think that bogging is a result of too rich of a mixture, but a lean bog is A LOT more common than what people think. Rich Conditions and BoggingYou can usually tell a rich bog by these symptoms:Hesitation and stuttering: When you twist the throttle, there's hesitation and sputtering in the engine's response. Reduced Performance: The bike may feel sluggish and have reduced overall performance due to the rich fuel mixture. Stuttering at higher RPMs: When you are riding or dry revving and give it full throttle, it stutters and bogs. Commonly called 4-stroking, this also results in a lot of vibrations. Even though your engine doesn't necessarily bog down, your engine can still be running terribly rich. One way to check this is to: Black spark plug: If you are using the correct full synthetic oil but your spark plug is covered with a dark layer of carbon buildup, your carburetor is running rich. Check your exhaust: If you remove your exhaust system and there is liquid and/or a lot of wet residue, that is a tell-tale sign of a rich running conditions. Check your carburetor blow-back: Remove your air filter and dry-rev your engine (revving your engine will the clutch is pulled in). If you can visually see fuel particles spraying out of the carburetor or, when you place your hand next (not touching) the carburetor inlet, your hand/finger is wet, this is a tell-tale sign of rich running conditions. Backfires: While it might sound cool, an engine that backfires is a tell tale sign that it is running too rich. A backfire is literally caused by so much fuel in the engine, the spark plug cant ignite it and it backs up into the exhaust and then burns. Not running at all: An engine that is running EXTREMELY rich wont even run at all. This can be confirmed if the spark plug tip is wet. This is due to SO much fuel in the engine, it cannot atomize and be ignited. Fuel leaking/filling the crankcase: Sure, your engine may run decently, but I have seen quite a few engines that have fuel either leaking out of the engine or that has partially field the crankcase. Usually, this is due to other issues, but can be a result of unburnt fuel being pushed passed the piston rings and into the crankcase. Take note that this is more likely in a 4-stroke. Lean Conditions and BoggingBogging that sounds like a gasp: One of the primary symptoms of a lean bog is hesitation or stumbling when you apply the throttle. The engine may struggle to respond immediately or smoothly, especially during rapid acceleration or under load. This can sound like a gasp of air and is basically what it is.Even if you dont have a specified bog, there are other tell-tale signs of an engine that is running too lean: Hanging idle: If your engine is running too lean, you may have idle issues. When you dry rev your engine and, instead of returning to idle fairly quickly, a lean tune will cause the RPMs to very slowly drop to idle or not go to idle until you put load on the engine. Overheating: If your engine is overheating prematurely, you might want to check out the tuning, because that can be a direct result of a lean tune. No torque: You might be able to dry rev your engine and it sounds dialed in, but if you go to ride and it seems to have a strong lack of torque, that is usually a strong indication of a lean tune. White/light colored spark plug: If you remove the spark plug and the tip is light colored and almost white, this is a strong indication of a lean tune. I highly recommend this FANTASTIC video about lean and rich bogging and the sound affects help a LOT. lol Now that you know the basics for finding the tune status on your carburetor, you can start tuning. When tuning your carburetor, you NEED to start with the pilot jet. Make sure it idles well, the throttle is snappy right off idle and returns back to idle when revved. The idle speed also needs to be consistent and there should be no to minimal bogging off the line. Remember that the fuel/air screw is responsible for fine-tuning the pilot jet circuit, which makes it MUCH easier and easier to iron out bogging issues, etc. After you have somewhat tuned your pilot jet appropriately, move on to your needle jet, which runs directly off the pilot jet and is responsible for ¼ to ¾ throttle. This is a small needle located in the top of the carburetor and is a part of the slide. This needle has a c-clip that (usually) has 5 positions. When you move the clip a position lower, it allows for more fuel to enter the engine and a position higher restricts fuel flow. When there is a fresh transition through ¼ and half throttle, you know you got it tuned well. Make sure there is no bogging at mid throttle and give it a few dry-revs. If it doesnt bog down when you jam the throttle to half throttle, you have got it dialed in. Now that you have done the most work, this is probably the easiest part: tuning the main jet. This adjustment controls ¾ to full throttle, so, as long as you have tuned the pilot and needle circuits correctly, tuning the main jet is a piece of cake. If you can ride your bike, jam the throttle to full throttle and if it does not bog after ¾ throttle, your main jet is tuned perfectly. When you dry-rev your engine to full throttle, there should be no bogging or hesitation and no hiccups. But most importantly, when riding, the throttle should be responsive and there should be no bogging or deadspots. Importance of a Slightly Rich TuneIt is important to tune your bike optimally for performance, but it is VERY important to have a tune that is slightly rich. It might sound odd, but when it comes to combustion, more fuel has a cooling affect, while less fuel is the main cause for overheating issues.Not only that, but a rich mixture provides better lubrication and is more stable when it comes to combustion. A lean tune is not entirely detrimental on some engines (as long as you are using the correctly full synthetic oil), but other engines, such as the Iron Bore minarelli engines require a rich tune or else it will seize up big time. So, while some promote the use of a slightly lean tune, I argue that a tune that is just the tinniest bit on the rich side will promote the well being of your engine and some engines REQUIRE a rich tune. Carburetors and limitationsNow that we have discussed all of that, lets discuss what makes a good carburetor and some limitations.A good carburetor allows you to precisely and easily tune every aspect of the power curve. Especially on motorized bikes, the stock carburetors lack a LOT of adjustments. Only having needle jet, main jet, and idle adjustments. This makes it easy to operate but does not allow you to completely dial-in your engine. A good carburetor will have an easily-accessible pilot and main jet with an adjustable needle jet. I doubt there is any carburetors that DO NOT have an idle adjustment, but you want to also have a pilot air-mixture screw. Not only should your carburetor have these adjustments, but should be sized appropriately also. A carburetor with too large of a slide/plate will almost drown the engine, run extremely rich, and will require tuning more frequently. A carburetor with too small of a slide/plate will perform sluggishly, have less peak power, and will have deadspots throughout the RPM range. A rule of thumb is that chinadolls (66cc - 85cc TRUE displacement) are limited to carburetors no smaller than 17mm and no larger than 21mm. However, if you start messing with hybrid engines and such, you could possible use a larger carburetor. The Mikuni VM18 and NIBBI PE17FL carburetors are FANTASTIC because they are the PERFECT size, are SUPER high quality, and they have ALL of the adjustments. Now, we cant discuss carburetors without mentioning the PWK21, a carburetor that is cheap, SUPER easy to adjust, and performs better than (pretty much) anything else. But, there are a few limitations. Firstly, because of the size of this carburetor, it can be used to great success on the larger 85cc Chinadolls and is the go to for hybrid engines, but they perform like TRASH on smaller chinadolls, even with proper tuning and modifications. You must keep in mind that tuning a carburetor is simple when sticking to this code of operations, but can VERY EASILY turn into a HUGE headache when you dont follow this format. I hope this helps and if you have any questions, concerns, or you just want to chat, feel free to DM me. For a good walk-through of tuning a carburetor check out this discussion on my Podcast. |
2024.04.29 16:48 bebop11 My Story - Looking for any insight or input. (Long read)
Hi all. I wanted to post my story here and ask for people’s input as I have not had much luck, as expected, with the medical field. I am a 37 year old male, 6’3” and 200 lbs. Previous to what I now assume is long covid I worked about 4-5 days a week lifting weights and doing cardio. I could run about a 7 minute mile for a baseline fitness reference. I’ve been pretty fit all my life and have a history of high altitude mountaineering that I’ve slowly backed away from.
At both urgent care I was rechecked via CBC/metabolic panels, chest x-ray and at the ER they did a viral panel, blood parasite screen, vitamin checks, a CT scan of the head, urinalysis and GFR screen and again nothing was found out of place except the Epstein Bar test returned with an equivocal result for the EBV Early AG IgG antibody. Every doctor seemed to think it was insignificant. My IgM (active infection) was normal and my other antibodies indicated past infection only. In doing my own research it seems the Early AG might be indicative of a latent reactivation but even an infectious disease doctor I saw said no.
submitted by bebop11 to covidlonghaulers [link] [comments]
I tested positive for Covid for the first time on Dec. 17th 2023 and had a moderate experience with it. I had a 102 fever for 2 days with flu-like malaise feelings, but had no apparent respiratory symptoms. After the fever portion I felt completely wiped for about 3 days and walking around was tough, although not from a breathing perspective. I just felt like my muscles were not making ATP and were incredibly weak / under responsive. I got both initial doses of the vaccine and the first booster, but unfortunately missed the bivalent. I scheduled it but CVS canceled my appointment and due to a busy life (new baby etc.) I didn’t prioritize it. I had not had a vaccine in over a year when I got Covid and assume I was fairly unprotected unfortunately. After the 3 days of feeling wiped, I seemingly made a full recovery and went back to exercising, power-lifting, throwing my 30lb son on my back and going for hikes etc. I did not seem to have any problem with this sort of exertion. On Feb. 28th (2 months and change from Covid onset) I woke up in the middle of the night with chest pain and tightening. After I stood up and felt like I was having a hot flash I got real weak and sat down on my bed and decided to call the ER with the thought I might be having a heart attack as I had never experienced the sensations I was feeling at the time. I was taken to the ER in an ambulance and my blood pressure was 170 or something high but settled more towards normal in the hospital and Iattribute it to anxiety over the situation. I got an EKG, troponin test, chest x-ray, blood/metabolic panel and was released saying there was nothing emergently wrong with me.The week following this visit was absolutely hellish for me and I went to urgent care and the ER again for the following symptoms: Muscle weakness and a feeling like I was going to drop dead, numbness in toes and feet, a general feeling of disorientation and balance/coordination issues while walking, waking up all night with drenching night sweats and chills, absolutely crippling anxiety, (I have no history of mental health problems or anxiety. If anything I am way too lax of a person and let things pile up. Far from a worrier in general.), a feeling like my brain/scalp is on fire, random pains in my abdomen and chest, an absolute intolerance of temperature fluctuations with hot flashes (I could not take a hot shower and if I even took one, single sip of hot tea I would start sweating.) I am not exactly sure what people mean by brain fog but I think the fire feeling in my scalp/brain is not it because I do not seem to have any trouble concentrating or thinking.
At both urgent care I was rechecked via CBC/metabolic panels, chest x-ray and at the ER they did a viral panel, blood parasite screen, vitamin checks, a CT scan of the head, urinalysis and GFR screen and again nothing was found out of place except the Epstein Bar test returned with an equivocal result for the EBV Early AG IgG antibody. Every doctor seemed to think it was insignificant. My IgM (active infection) was normal and my other antibodies indicated past infection only. In doing my own research it seems the Early AG might be indicative of a latent reactivation but even an infectious disease doctor I saw said no.
Subsequent to this ER visit I continued to suffer these symptoms for 3 weeks and via my primary care got checked for HIV, TB, PSA, TSH, Sed rate, C-reactive protein, hepatic function panel, more CBC’s and metabolic panel, I saw a cardiologist and got an echocardiogram and they all found no problems. I had an MRI of my brain and thoracic spine (cervical denied) and they found no evidence of MS or problems with the exclusion of a small, single white matter lesion that my neurologist said is unremarkable but could have been caused by infection as I am young to have one and have no history of migraines or high BP. I was retested for Lyme via ELISA and Western Blot and checked for syphilis by the ID doctor. The neurologist tested me for various blood cancers and gave me an EMG. All of these tests were normal. I also had a sleep study and found mild to moderate obstructive sleep apnea that actually gets severe during REM sleep. I have been on a CPAP for 2 weeks and am not having any trouble with it. I’ve since concluded that the only explanation for my symptoms is long covid. My only point of consternation is that the symptoms I’ve described above largely abated after 3 weeks time and those initial 3 weeks felt extremely acute. After those 3 weeks, however, I’ve been left with general fatigue and weakness primarily in the legs, sleep disruption, and the feeling like my brain is on fire at times. I’ve gone on Zoloft and the anxiety portion seems much better after a month of being on 50mg. For a while the only way I could avoid significant sleep wake up’s was taking 50-75mg diphenhydramine at night but I’ve switched to a daily 10mg zyrtec and it seems to help with the sleep considerably (found many studies indicating antihistamine in LC treatment). Since I suspected long covid early on but was truly afraid I was dying of cancer or some demyelinating disease I started researching supplementation in the event that covid was indeed the culprit. I take 10mg of creatine a day, a multi-vitamin, fish oil, a probiotic with strains cited in the Hong Kong study on gut dysbiosis, inulin prebiotic, NAC morning and night, liposomal glutathione, lysine, 500mg vitamin C, niacin 100 mg 3 times a day, lactoferrin twice a day at the same time as zyrtec, nattokinase, zinc/magnesium glycinate at night along with chamomile tea and local, raw honey. I’ve also since switched to a mediterranean diet and eat a lot of extra virgin olive oil, and raw, un-dutched cocoa powder. I take 50mg zoloft, convinced my primary doctor to prescribe me Valtrex 500mg a day for some limited evidence in suppressing EBV replication, and a sleep doctor has me on 100-300mg gabapentin as needed (she wanted me to stop taking diphenhydramine for it’s anticholinergic effect and long term side effects on the brain). I’ve seen a tremendous improvement over those first 3 weeks I’ve described and I cannot emphasize enough how ill I felt and convinced I was going to die in the near future during that time period. I am not sure which of the above treatments are effective or if it is just time, but I also seem to have reached a plateau and do not notice any further improvement. Unfortunately, I do not seem to be able to exert myself without my legs feeling like they are turning to jelly after 15-20 minutes of walking. I can walk but anything further seems to induce that feeling of weakness. The general fatigue is also very limiting and the feeling of my brain being on fire on and off throughout the day is very frustrating. I have not read many LC stories that start so acutely months after covid and then abate to a really difficult but relatively manageable state that I described above. I am curious what people think and welcome any input as I get absolutely nothing from the medical field.