Hey reddit! I'm a 38 year old latin guy from Washington DC. Honesty is the best policy so I'll make it known now that I'm not looking for platonic friends, I'm looking for a romantic partner. Buckle up, because I'm about to unveil why I may or may not be the right partner for you in a classic listicle style that all you youngin's love.
About Me:
^{You'll never believe number 6!}

1. I'm a bit of a stoner. It's true, your boy loves himself some marijuana. (In fact, I just did a 20mg edible) I endeavor to never let it take over my life, but it aids a lot in #2 on this list. I'm also not a stranger to the very occasional mushroom trip.
2. I'm a true creative. Left to my own devices in an empty room, I would constantly create new things. Whether that be drawing, writings, photography, music or stoner ideas. It's my true nature to be a creative and to stifle that part of myself makes me pretty sad. Fortunately, I get to create on a daily basis. which brings me to..
3. I have the kindest heart. I see life through rose colored glasses, some may say. I just believe in the good in people. I think most people are good and those that are bad are redeemable. Whether someone is ultra religious, a different political affiliation, good, bad, ugly, whatever...I believe in getting to know them for myself and making my own decision of them. As a friend I always stick by my friends, no matter what. Friends in my life are friends for life, even if we lose touch. There is a downside to all this...it's that sometimes people take advantage of me. I don't care. When confronted with the choice to be loving or to be cruel or apathetic, I will always choose loving.
4. I make people laugh. Comedy and jokes have always been a part of me. Maybe it's the fact that I'm a middle child and craved attention or the fact that I grew up in a city where I had to be quick on my feet, but I love to make people laugh. This is best done in person but there can be humor over the internet too. :)
5. I don't take myself too seriously. I'm a talented person in my field and it's important for me to let go of my ego. There isn't a single person that I can't learn from and at my best I'm always open to listen to people's opinions of me or my creative work.
6. I see beauty in everyone, including you. If you hadn't guessed by now, I'm a photographer. I'm into portraits and I value my connection with people one-on-one and I think that's what makes me a talented portrait photographer. I often hear people talk about the things they hate about themselves but try to reflect to them their true beauty. The beauty that was always there and that they need to be reconnected to.
7. I'm culturally Latino. My parents are from El Salvador, but I was born and raised in DC. I have the experience of being born into a family of immigrants and understand the duality of living in two different worlds. While Spanish was my first language, it is not what I consider to be my native tongue. While I understand all Spanish, all my Spanish is food related.
8. I've done the self work. It's true. I'm not a man that punches walls, gets drunk and cries, will cheat on you, lie to you or a myriad of other things that toxic people do. I am not without faults, of course, but I have worked my demons out for the most part. I'm very self-aware and open to criticism and change.
9. I'm honest 99.5% of the time. Anyone professing to be honest 100% of the time is a liar. Ask me directly and I'll tell you my last big lie.
10. I know where I want to be in life. I'm close to getting there too. I've been at it for 13 years now and I feel that success is imminent. Will you be a part of it?

So what are you waiting for? Dust off that old keyboard, pound away at a few keys, and get ready to embark on an unforgettable adventure brought to you by (as they said in my day) the world wide web.
P.S - I'm 6'2. I should've started with that.

I'm planning a road trip for May 25th - June 9th. The only things that I know I 100% will be doing is the Air Force Museum in Ohio, staying in Chicago for a few days. Everything else is just areas I am thinking of exploring.
I am traveling alone, and the main focus of things to do is great nature and great driving roads (I am a car enthusiast taking my fun but comfortable and roomy car (BMW M5).
Any suggestions for great roads to drive, nature to see, great restaurants, or things that are a must-see or do, please comment!
Couple questions/thoughts:

1. I've never driven to Canada before. I have my passport. Am I able to just drive my car in and that's it? Anything special to do beforehand, or anything I should know?
2. Is it possible to bring a firearm with me along this trip? I have my Pennsylvania License to Carry Firearms, and generally carry wherever I am legally able to. Traveling alone, it would bring piece of mind to have a form of protection, especially as I plan to camp in some remote areas.
3. I really enjoy stargazing and have been to Cherry Springs State Park, and seen darker skies while in other countries. Any dark sky opportunities or observatories will be great!
4. Please recommend any great driving roads near my route! Twisty roads through scenic areas that are good road quality (minimal potholes). Low population/traffic preferred.

Here is my rough itinerary (majority of it can be changed if I take too long somewhere, it's just an idea). I put some notes of what the main objective is.

1. Sat 5/25 Home to Charleston, WV (planning to stop in Harper's Ferry)
2. Sun 5/26 explore WV (mostly looking for good nature or driving roads)
3. Mon 5/27 Charleston to Dayton, Ohio for AF Museum
4. Mon 5/27 Dayton to Chicago
5. Tues 5/28 - Thu 5/30 Chicago (visiting a friend, any good driving roads? everything is so flat)
6. Fri 5/31 Chicago to Toronto
7. Sat 6/1 Toronto to Montreal
8. Sun 6/2 Montreal to Quebec City
9. Mon 6/3 explore QC (seems like a cool place; history, architecture, food)
10. Mon 6/3 QC to Baxter State Park, ME (for stargazing)
11. Tues 6/4 ME to Mt Washington, NH (I love a good mountain)
12. Tues 6/4 NH to Albany, NY
13. Wed 6/5 Explore Albany
14. Thu 6/6 Albany to Syracuse
15. Thu 6/6 Explore Finger Lakes
16. Thu 6/6 End at Watkins Glen
17. Fri 6/7 Watkins Glen to Catskills
18. Sat 6/8 Explore Catskills
19. Sun 6/7 Drive Home

Please let me know if there are any questions or clarifications needed. Thanks!
https://preview.redd.it/8c1mghqsvg0d1.png?width=2008&format=png&auto=webp&s=f570595c3a7139fc213cd47433f5d1ffa67ea9ac

14-minute read.

average monthly nominal salaries and YoY change in Q1 2024

Yerevan +8% to ֏324K/$836
Syunik +7% to ֏295K/$760
Shirak +7% to ֏142K/$366
Yerevan had the highest wages. Syunik had the highest wages among provinces, while Shirak had the lowest.
REPORT: While the average nominal monthly salary does not always show the level of economic prosperity in a region, its rise has made a tangible difference in Syunik.
SUREN PARSYAN (economist): Syunik has higher wages and strong employment. It is the most prosperous province with the lowest unemployment rate in Armenia: 24% in Armenia, 15% in Yerevan, and 2% in Syunik.
REPORT: Over the last 5 years, the average monthly nominal salaries have risen by 40% while the inflation was 21%.
source,

Armenian army launches command staff exercises

They will exercise the practical implementation of deployment and combat plans, evaluate the commanders' skills, improve the synchronized work between various groups, develop the officers' moral characteristics and practical skills during preparation and combat operations, etc.
They will use automated control systems and modern technologies during the exercises.
source,

Armenia and India will form a new working group for defense cooperation

Defense ministries of AM and IN held a meeting on Tuesday. They discussed the 2024-2025 cooperation plan and the creation of a new working group to coordinate the cooperation.
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from PM Pashinyan's speech at Copenhagen Democracy Summit:

PASHINYAN: Democracy has indeed become a reality in Armenia. Before the 2018 Velvet Revolution, massive electoral frauds were the usual companion of elections in Armenia. There was no trust among the citizens that there was a real chance for them to elect the government.
Now the situation is totally different; citizens know that they are powerful enough to decide. The two general elections that were held in Armenia after the Velvet Revolution have been acknowledged as democratic, free, and competitive both by the Armenian society and the international community.
Armenia made huge progress in strengthening the democratic institutions, an achievement reflected in reputable democracy indexes:
(a) Now we are the 43rd in the Reporters Without Borders’ Freedom of Speech index, compared to 79th place in 2017.
(b) Categorized as having partially free internet in 2017 by Freedom House, now we enjoy the status of a country with free internet.
(c) In Transparency International’s Corruption Perception Index, Armenia is now 62nd instead of 107th in 2017.
(d) In the Economist Intelligence Unit’s democracy index we are 84th compared to 111th in 2017.
In order to assess this progress, it's essential to note that alongside democratic reforms, Armenia has been contending with external security challenges: the 44-day war in Nagorno-Karabakh, Azerbaijan's invasion of Armenia in 2021 and 2022 and the occupation of over 200 km² amid inaction by [Russia's] CSTO, the forced displacement of over 100,000 Armenians from Nagorno-Karabakh, have cast doubts among Armenian citizens weather democracy is the right choice. So, democracy needs to prove its efficiency while dealing with security, economic and humanitarian challenges.
We are pleased with the deployment of EU monitoring mission alongside the Armenian-Azerbaijani border, and we welcome EU’s decision to expand its capacity. On the other hand, we hope for the inclusion of Armenia into the European Peace Facility and in this regard, we rely on the support of all EU member states [Hungary].
A new set of commitments aimed at strengthening Armenia’s economic resilience, state institutions, and addressing the humanitarian needs of refugees has been taken on by the European Union and United States during the high-level meeting on April 5 in Brussels. The rapid and effective implementation of those commitments is of utmost importance.
Despite all the challenges, we believe that the real and most aspiring companion for democracy is lasting and sustainable peace. My government took the share of its responsibility for this. Recently we reached an agreement with Azerbaijan to launch the delimitation of our interstate borders on the basis of the Almaty Declaration of 1991. That means that during the delimitation we should simply reproduce the Soviet-era administrative borders. This is the implementation of the agreement reached in Prague in 2022. Now it is time to incorporate and reflect those agreements in the peace treaty and have it signed.
Another key point for our regional stability is the «Crossroads of Peace», project, initiated by my government. This project implies that Armenia and Azerbaijan restore and open transport and other communications in accordance with the sovereignty and jurisdiction of the countries through which they pass, and comply with the principles of equality and reciprocity. These elements of the concept were agreed upon during the July 2023 meeting with Ilham Aliyev and Charles Michel. //

... Politico reporter's Q&A with Pashinyan

REPORTER: [Ex-NATO leader] Anders Fogh Rasmussen called your neighbor an autocracy. You are in a very difficult geopolitical and geographical position. How do you solve the security problem in that environment?
PASHINYAN: I would not like to comment on the internal situation of our neighboring countries. Democracy fully corresponds to the mentality of our people. It is a strategy for our government, it is our political belief, it is also our political identity. The members of our political team have spent most of their lives fighting for democracy, the rule of law, and freedom of speech. Now we have the opportunity to realize all these values in our country.
The security situation was complicated because of the regional and global situation; the world order is collapsing at the moment. My assessment is, and I have had occasion to say this publicly, that the 2020 war was a prelude to further developments. And now the main issue is security.
What is our strategic point of view, how are we going to guarantee the security of our country? Recently, I gave a speech in our parliament, where I said that the most important tool for ensuring security is a foreign policy based on legitimacy. This is the reason why we so often speak about the 1991 Almaty Declaration.
It is very important that during the 2022 Prague meeting, two very important agreements were reached. Armenia and Azerbaijan recognize each other's territorial integrity and sovereignty on the basis of the Almaty Declaration and will use it as the basis for the border demarcation. This is the reason why I said that we are not drawing a new border, we just need to reproduce the existing one on the ground. This process is happening right now, and I hope that we will continue it steadfastly.
REPORTER: The border conflict that has occurred in recent years has had a negative impact on relations with Russia and Russia's role for Armenia. What would you say about this?
PASHINYAN: Armenia is a member of CSTO. We are officially a CSTO member, but I have announced that we have frozen our participation.
REPORTER: So are you still a member or...?
PASHINYAN: It is a matter for further discussion, but it is very important to record the current situation. A crisis arose in our relations after Azerbaijani troops invaded Armenia, and according to CSTO procedures, the Organization and its member states had to support Armenia in this situation. But even after the formal application, the CSTO refused to take any concrete steps, and in fact, that is the main reason for freezing our participation in the CSTO at all levels.
REPORTER: Do you expect the West to occupy the current vacuum and ensure your security?
PASHINYAN: We are diversifying our foreign relations in all spheres. Now we are developing defense cooperation with India, France, and other countries. We have a certain cooperation with the European Union because as I mentioned, we are happy about the deployment of the EU Civilian Observation Mission on the border. It is a civilian mission but in a way, it is a new factor for the security of our region. This is the first time that the European Union participates in the security agenda of Armenia.
REPORTER: Would you like to become an EU member?
PASHINYAN: We are waiting for the EU's decision to include Armenia in the European Peace Facility. We also hope to start visa liberalization negotiations, and last year I announced in the European Parliament that Armenia is ready to be as close to the European Union as the European Union deems it possible. This is our position.
REPORTER: Can you elaborate on what initiatives Armenia is taking in the fight against corruption?
PASHINYAN: We have made huge progress but have not eradicated corruption from Armenia. We must continue to be persistent in the agenda of democratic reforms. This is the reason why cooperation with the European Union is of utmost importance for us because today the European Union is our main partner in the implementation of our democratic reform agenda. We hope that the European Union, as well as the USA, will increase their support to Armenia in the implementation of democratic reforms, because, as I said, democracy is a strategy for us.
By the way, in 2019 we started a Strategic Dialogue with the USA, and today we see the strengthening of our cooperation with the European Union. We recently had a tripartite meeting with the participation of the USA, EU, and Armenia. It was an unprecedented format, where we adopted a huge agenda of institutional and economic reforms. It is also very important that we receive more tangible support from the EU and the US to address the humanitarian needs of the Nagorno Karabakh refugees because it is a very sensitive and emotional issue for us.
REPORTER: In which year would you like Armenia to become a member of the EU?
PASHINYAN: This year [as soon as possible]. //
Pashinyan met Anders Fogh Rasmussen. The latter emphasized the importance of the “Crossroads of Peace” project in the context of unblocking the regional infrastructure.
Pashinyan discussed various topics with the PM of Denmark. The latter accepted his invitation to visit Armenia.
full video, source, video, other, other, source, video,

former regime continues to hold protests and briefly shut down roads in Yerevan with demands for PM Pashinyan's resignation

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Dozens of participants were detained and released the same day for blocking roads. The detentions decreased from 170 on Monday to ~63 on Tuesday. They want Pashinyan to resign or to be impeached. The protest organizers visited universities to gather student supporters, some of whom joined them with a dance. The organizers also stopped by at a bakery where they were given free food.
A felony investigation was launched after a police vehicle, "with the sirens on", struck a reporter on the street. In another instance, an investigation was launched against a protester who brought a long sword. One other case was launched over alleged threats made on Facebook by a Galstanyan fan who wants scores of people to be beaten in dalans and exiled from Armenia, "մենակ էտ դեպքում էս սրբազան հողը կմաքրվի էս տեսակ շան ծնունդներից, ուրիշ ձև չկա!!!!"
ԳԼՈՒԽ 2
A ruling faction member of Yerevan City Council complained about "harassment" by opposition figures who are attempting to convince ruling party members to join the protests and the impeachment.
RULING MEMBER: That is not how it works. No one will join you with that conduct. People will join if they see you have a legitimate agenda with trustworthy leaders. Instead, you are "ethnically cleansing" the citizens of Armenia [referring to one opposition speaker telling non-Armenians to leave] և հեռու չէ են օրը երբ դուք գուցե ասեք որ հայ լինելու համար պետք է Հայկ նահապետից տեղեկանք բերել: //
ԳԼՈՒԽ 3
Yesterday the protest co-organizer Archbishop Bagrat Galstanyan said he received a report suggesting that the Deputy Rector of Yerevan State University supposedly urged deans and others to retaliate against students who joined the protests. Galstanyan said he was unsure whether the report was true, but decided to read it out loud anyway. On Tuesday he rallied his supporters to the backyard of the University where he demanded to speak with the Deputy Rector for clarification.
The Deputy Rector went downstairs and greeted Galstanyan, who shook her hand but wouldn't let it go for an uncomfortably long period, prompting her to ask him to let go of her hand. The Deputy Rector declared that whatever Galstanyan read about her was a defamatory lie.
GALSTANYAN: I never believed it myself.
DEPUTY RECTOR: Then you should not have said out loud something you did not believe.
GALSTANYAN: Listen, there is a recorded fact...
DEPUTY RECTOR: Where is that "recorded fact"?
GALSTANYAN: It was on the media. As I said yesterday, I had no verification that it was true, which is why we came here to clarify it. If it's false, then I apologize.
DEPUTY RECTOR: Thank you. //
The Deputy Rector urged the protest organizers not to enter the building or disrupt the classes, and that "anyone who wants to follow you can follow you, anyone who wants to stay in classrooms should stay in classrooms".
The angry Deputy Rector left. Another university official criticized Galstanyan for not checking the information before reading it to his followers. Galstanyan said he stands behind his words, and that he was "just reading what was on the media", but reiterated that he had no intention to insult the Deputy Rector.
ԳԼՈՒԽ 4
Galstanyan and his supporters visited the monument dedicated to Operation Nemesis. He praised the figures behind Nemesis for "assuming personal responsibility". In front of the crowd, Galstanyan introduced Hambig Sassounian who recently joined his movement. He pointed to the Nemesis monument and said Sassounian is "one of the successors, one of the brightest people." In related news, on Sunday a ruling faction MP complained about receiving death threats with reference to Operation Nemesis.
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DANIEL IOANNESIAN (NGO chief): When this protest dies down, we need to discuss the following: (1) The transparency of political and media funding. There are some regulations in place, but they are incomplete and easily bypassed. For example, I'd like to know who paid for Archbishop Galstanyan's giant stage in Republic Square. In 2018 Pashinyan organized a fundraising for it and disclosed a detailed report. (2) Should the media organizations that do not respect the rules of financial transparency enjoy all the mechanisms for the protection of journalists? (3) Are the customs authorities confident that the church is not facilitating the business activities of certain figures disguised as donations? (4) Is it fair for the church and clergy members not to pay taxes? Should they be able to have a Bently and LX570 without paying taxes? [The "Bentley" is based on a true story.]
ԳԼՈՒԽ 6
Archbishop's fans spotted Miss Armenia 2003 and a H1 host Lusine Tovmasyan drinking a coffee at a Yerevan café and approached her.
PROTESTER: (unintelligable)
LUSINE: I was here drinking coffee yesterday, and a year before that.
PROTESTER: Why have you not joined the holy struggle?
LUSINE: Լավ եկեք թարգեք, շատ զզվելի ա, էնքան զզվելի ա․ //
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Pro-Kremlin propagandist Alexander Dugin praised the pro-Russian forces' protests in Armenia and criticized the pro-EU protests in Georgia.
Pro-Kremlin Russian politician Semyon Baghdasarov praised Archbishop Bagrat and the ongoing "uprising" in Armenia against the "traitor" [Nikol] who "rigged" the elections with the help of "Turkey, UK, and US". Nikol is a Turkish MI6 agent. video,
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Video of a protest recorded from above: video
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Armenian government has upgraded other diplomatic channels to reduce reliance on ARF's diaspora structures in the US, says pro-West NGO chief

KHURSHUDYAN: The status of the Armenian Ambassador to the U.S. [Lilith Makunts] has been significantly upgraded. I won't go into specifics because it's tied to our neighbors, but she plays an interesting role there. We have great conditions for the U.S. Congress to pressure Azerbaijan. This is outside of ARF's lobbyist groups in the U.S.
REPORTER: ARF Hay Dat's recent conduct has been shameful.
KHURSHUDYAN: And its influence on the Lemkin Institute was obvious. //
Yesterday Kurshudyan accused the Lemkin Institute of caving to ARF's pressure and meddling into Armenia's internal affairs to assist the protests by the pro-Russian former regime.
KHURSHUDYAN: Lemkin Institute accused Pashinyan's April 24 genocide remembrance day statement of containing "victim blaming". Lemkin did not comment on Pashinyan's statement for several weeks, waited 15 days, and as soon as these pro-Russian protests began in Armenia, they gave them a պաս:
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Armenia's four most prominent pro-West opposition parties announce the formation of a unified platform

Republic Party, led by ex-PM Aram Sargsyan.
Hanun Republic Party, led by Arman Babajanyan.
European Party of Armenia, led by Tigran Khzmalyan.
Christian-Democratic Party, led by Levon Shirinyan.
Have the following agenda...
(1) Promotion of Western values in Armenia and Armenia's membership in EU and NATO.
(2) United front against threats and risks of destabilization coming from Russia.
(3) Vetting judges to clean up the courts, and resolution of issues left unaddressed by the Pashinyan administration.
(4) Continuation of border demarcation based on 1991 Almaty.
(5) The use of international law to achieve a fair resolution for Nagorno-Karabakh residents.
The platform is open for like-minded forces to join.
source,

Armenian army chief denies being a Russian citizen

A statement released by the defense ministry denies media reports that CoGS LtGen Edward Asryan is a dual citizen of Russia. His wife is an ethnic Russian with Armenian citizenship and his kids are dual citizens, but Asryan only has citizenship in Armenia. The whole family has resided in Armenia since 2006, said the statement.
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Georgia passes controversial ‘foreign agents’ bill despite widespread opposition

The law will require organizations receiving more than 20% of their funding from abroad to register as “agents of foreign influence” or face crippling fines.
The bill will be sent to the President who is expected to veto it, but her veto is expected to be overruled by the parliamentary majority later.
Georgian PM Kobakhidze had an "honest conversation" with U.S. deputy foreign minister James O'Brien, telling him that the Georgian government is interested in deepening the partnership with the U.S., "which requires mutual efforts and relations based on fairness."
James O'Brien demanded to speak with the manager - Bidza Ivanishvili. The latter refused to meet O'Brien, saying he won't hold any meetings under "blackmail".
The White House said the U.S. will review its relations with Georgia if the bill becomes law.
source, source, source,

how many of the 101,000 Nagorno-Karabakh refugees have left Armenia and haven't returned yet?

As of...
Dec: 6.6K
Jan: 6.9K
Mar: 8.0K
Apr: 9.1K
May: 9.9K
The former Ombudsman of Nagorno-Karabakh said many of them have family members and friends in Russia who invite them to move.
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temperatures are rising rapidly in Armenia

REPORTER: The rainy May is not going to be enough to alleviate the negative consequences of the rapidly rising temperatures in Armenia. With a ~3 Celsius anomaly, Armenia had the second-highest increase in temperature over the last 6 months among a group of monitored countries.
WEATHER CENTER: High temperatures increase the evaporation of water and reduce the amount of snow in the winter. In December and January, we recorded rain instead of snow in certain mountainous regions, which is bad for water resources.
REPORTER: A conference was recently held in Yerevan within the framework of the UN Convention to Combat Desertification.
UN official: Around 40% of global soils are degraded. Millions of people will be forced to migrate from their communities by 2050 as a result of climate problems. Emergency action is needed to reduce the rate of rising temperatures. //
Armenia joined the Convention three decades ago and has assumed the responsibility to restore degraded soil by 2030. The government is promoting drip irrigation systems for farming and wants to plant more trees.
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is the decline of Lake Sevan levels finally slowing down?

see the YoY chart

Yerevan Municipality to receive a €25 million loan from European Investment Bank to raise energy efficiency

It's part of the implementation of Eastern Partnership programs. The Armenian government and the EU are co-financing it.
The goal is to raise energy efficiency and carry out seismic retrofitting in 6 medical clinics and 32 kindergartens run by the municipality. The length of the program is 4 years.
video, video,

Gagik Tsarukyan is inside you

there is a bit of Tsarukyan inside all of you
see it to believe it

Gagik Tsarukyan says the new Jesus statue is ready and will be installed by the end of 2025

It will be a tourist attraction site. There will be a ropeway. Also, Tsarukyan needs you to know that he is a man of God and an avid believer.
video,

Armenia and Slovakia discussed AM-EU visa liberalization

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Lithuania will help retrain Armenian law enforcement agents to combat cybercrime, analyze crimes, etc.

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Armenia's Economy Minister Papoyan met the U.S. Assistant Secretary of State for Energy Resources Geoffrey Pyatt

In a Washington meeting participated by the Armenian Ministry delegation and Armenia's Ambassador, they spoke about the Crossroads of Peace logistics project proposed by Armenia, several topics relating to Armenia's energy and economic security, and the Armenian government's ongoing efforts to classify Armenia as a "market economy".
source,

Armenia and Iran discussed the construction of a second bridge over the River Araks

The first bridge began operating in 1996. It came to replace the floating bridges on the river.
Iran says the AM-IR traffic through the Meghri checkpoint significantly increased last year. Coupled with the fact that Armenia is building a modern North-South highway, they believe it's necessary to have a second AM-IR bridge to handle the rising traffic.
The parties are currently discussing the formation of a working group consisting of experts to discuss the topic.
source,

a new study on mice indicates that more exercise might be better than more sleep for clearing brain of toxins

They injected a dye into a brain and tracked the speed of its movement during sleep and exercise.
The findings show that the clearance of the dye was reduced by 30% in sleeping mice compared with mice that were kept awake. This has not been confirmed on humans yet.
Previous research has suggested that sleep is important for preventing dementia as it is during this time that toxic proteins are cleared from the brain.
source, source,

Hello, I am starting a coffee cart in Chicago. Getting all requirements together in order to obtain shared kitchen license. Can anyone provide insight on how long it will take to study for this exam or if it’s relatively easy? I signed up for a proctor with serve safe, with exam. Any advice is appreciated.

I would like to have suggestion for things to do while on the road. Im open for activities, food, nature… anything worth stopping while im traveling from Montreal to Washington DC. Do not have to be on the exact road ill be taking, just the area. Thanks !

Life long Oregonian here, with no intention of moving to Washington. Where I want to live is not dictated by taxes, if it were I’d move to Nevada but I have little to no interest in living in Nevada. No offense Nevadans. “Muh taxes” is just not a good reason for me to live or not live in one state or the other.
From what I’ve seen about the different types of taxes in Washington, and I think I like how Washington has no state income tax, while having the trade off of a sales tax (while having some exemptions including groceries), over Oregon’s income tax while having the trade off of no sales tax.
Oregon and Washington’s property tax are about the same, being just slightly lower than middle of the pack compared to the other 48 states, ranking 27th and 28th respectively (if memory is correct). Washington does have a lower rate long term capital gains tax rate than Oregon but what I want to focus on are the two main trade offs in Oregon and Washington.
What I like about Washington’s tax trade off more is that this frees up money that I could put in emergency savings or investments, whereas with Oregon’s trade off, most of my spending, outside of 2 loans (under 4k combined) and rent are groceries which (from what I read, groceries are not subject to taxes). I don’t buy much fast food, or much of anything that would be subject to sales tax in Washington.
I’ve been trying my hardest to live frugally to get myself out of the paycheck to paycheck rut and I feel like Washington’s tax trade off would help me put more money that would go towards an emergency fund.
If it were purposed in a ballot measure for Oregon to adopt Washington’s tax trade off, I lean slightly on a vote in favor depending on the terms like not enforcing a sales tax on essentials like rent (TIL people get charged sales tax on rent in some states), groceries, clothes, medications or maybe even cell phones. Having this trade off seems like an indirect incentive for citizens to save their money rather than spending on nonessentials.
Though, I think Oregon adopting a sales tax would be extremely unpopular and I am not entirely enthusiastic about a sales tax myself. I have heard the argument that a sales tax is an inherently regressive tax, in that two families making widely different incomes are charged the same amount for the same goods. I find this unfair, and trying to legislate a work around this seems like an impossible mission.
Yet, for my personal situation, I think myself and others trying to be frugal to save for the future would benefit more from Washington’s tax trade off.
This makes me wonder why Oregon has our own trade off while Washington has this different trade off.
I wonder if there is a tourism reason for us having no sales tax, as a lot people from Idaho and Washington for our beaches but the other states without sales tax aren’t states you’d consider very touristy. I could see a New Yorker wanting a quite retreat to New Hampshire (no sales tax), Montana (no sales tax) is a hot spot for ski’ing and Alaska (no sales tax) is an outdoors person’s dream come true, but they aren’t as big of a tourist hot spot as California, Hawaii, Florida, New York and to some degree Texas.
I do wonder if there is an employment reason for why Washington has no income tax. Some of the nation’s biggest companies are head quartered in Washington (Amazon, Boeing, Microsoft come to mind) and I don’t think this is just coincidence. Along with not having a state income tax, Washington also has no payroll tax making this a prime place to headquarter a huge business.
Could this tax trade off bring better jobs to Oregon, attract talented people from out of state and help grow our economy? Perhaps
What are your thoughts? Oregonians, do you share some of my thoughts on this? Would this sort of trade off implemented in Oregon cause more good than harm in Oregon? What might you disagree with me about on this matter?

just got my mcat score, so i actually have not thought about a school list at all. pls help! i have no idea what i'm doing :,)
4.0 cGPA, 4.0 sGPA CA ORM (not from IE or Davis)
517 MCAT (just got today)
Research: 700 hours psych research over 3 years (one poster at undergrad conference, one poster at regional conference + award, working on pub manuscript), 100 hours public health over 4 years (2 posters at undergrad conference), 230 hours oncology over a semester+summer
Leadership: resident assistant, board in a heath and wellness education club, board in 2 service clubs, volunteer lead at hospital program, instructor for hobby club
Shadowing: 40 hours
Clinical Volunteering: 400 hours in hospital across 2.5 years, 200 hours in free clinic in 1 year
Non-clinical Volunteering: 600+ hours (food insecurity-related for students/unhoused/low-income, basic needs-related for students and unhoused, play dates with pediatric patients, nursing home volunteer)
Other: 500+ hours IT job, 1000+ hobby (with some local awards)
So far (this is just from admit.org):
UCLA
UCSD
USC
UCI
Kaiser
UPitt
George Washington
Georgetown
Dartmouth
Albert Einstein
UCSF
Tufts
Temple
Vermont
Drexel
Rosalind Franklin
Penn State
I wanna add way more than this, especially since these all sound way too top heavy. Looking for any feedback on adding/removing schools! Thank you!

I just watched the K-drama "Mr. Queen" which the guy was a chef in the present time but upon jumping onto a body of water, he ended up in Korea during the Joseon dynasty as a woman, who was the queen back then. At first he did thought it was a dream, but soon came to the realization that he woke up as a woman, since people were referring to him as her. (Though he still has his own mindset despite his physical appearance of being someone else.)
Later on, he applied his skills as a chef to prepare meals from the present that were not available from back then, (he is still seen as the queen by others, who did not consider that she knows how to cook) though he had to improvise on the equipment and ingredients available at the time as he found the food bland and not to his liking, so at the end everyone liked the food as it was not something that ever had before.
To put it lightly, what would happen if you have the ability to time travel back to the past, but you will end up being somebody else (famous historical figure or not) how would you be able to adapt living in that time period within someone elses but at the same time you still inherited your current thoughts and minset from your present self, how would that impact any decisions you made that can alter the past affecting the present?
For example, you time leapt back to around 1775 but now you are George Washington (you still have thoughts about yourself from the present) though now in the body and perspective of someone else, the same can apply if you went to the past but you are now in the body of [insert person here] within [time period] what would it really be like if you time traveled back only using this method? You will still be seen as that historical figure by people from that era but you still inherited your own thoughts.
At first, you'll struggle to adapt to life in that era, unless you were a historian in the present, then using that to your advantage as you can make decisions that may alter the past without realizing it, even the slightest moves can carry over a butterfly effect. EG: You woke up as Douglas MacArthur but using knowledge from the present day (people back then see you as him, physically.) but you use your own thoughts and knowledge to change what he would originally consider during the war.

I have a first round phone interview for a supply chain position at HEB. My resume includes my main jobs since graduating college (2020) and my degree in business management along with volunteer work at Mt local food bank. I'm asking this question because before I went back to school for this degree I worked for UPS as a package handler roughly 9-10 years ago. This job should I get hired will be in a warehouse so there is experience of a sort. However it's from years ago and with the way resumes are and all I didn't think about the job until now. Would it be worth mentioning my experience at UPS in the interview or in a future interview should I progress (this position had 3 rounds and this is the 1st round and I also answered questions on hirevue)?

The Timberwolves face 2 main issues since the end of game 2. The Monte Morris injury and the decision of moving Kat off of Jokic.
The Morris injury is huge because it affects both the offense and the defense. In game 3 the attempt was made to bring in Jordan McLaughlin. Unfortunately the nuggets were aware that he had played no meaningful minutes so far in the playoffs and exposed him on the defensive end, so that didn't work. The other option the wolves used is to have NAW be the other primary ball handler... Issue with that is now he has to expend energy and effort bring the ball up the court when Conley's not in the game. The nuggets pounced on this and made sure he was met at least right before mid court if not 3/4 court leaving less energy to focus on guarding Murray and navigating around screens like in games 1&2 vs through them in games 3&4. The TimberPuppies could help relieve some of the ball handling duties to Jaden McDaniels. He did it a lot at Washington and he did a little bit when the Wolves drafted him. They have to figure something out so NAW doesn't have to spend so much energy bring the ball up and initiating offense so he can focus more of his energy on defense... Imposing some real Naw and Order in the west... So w/ Monte out you either have no primary ball handler when Conley's out or NAW does it and he can't focus on being NAW...
The decision to take Kat off of Jokic to guard Gordan because he's making 3s was a real bad decision. Kat is not a very good defender, and he never has been, but that's ok... Jokic is going to yoke on anyone in the league who tries to guard him one on one... anyone (Rudy included). So the best place in our defensive scheme is for Kat to be on him. Kat can move with him and all he has to do is focus on staying between him and the basket (hopefully try not to get silly fouls), and make him expend energy and work for those 30+-5 he's going to get either way but while trying to to keep his assists down. There are usually 3 to 4 other good experienced defenders on the floor who knows where to be, so they can keep everybody else from getting easy shots. Rudy was great when Gordan was in the dunker spot because as an experienced defender he would know when to leave his man to come help and where to be. Now that Gordan is hitting 3s, who cares. He's shooting an unrealistic 8 for 9 where you just tip your hat to him and make adjustments on how you help a little more on the perimeter. I don't see him going 14 for 15 or 19 for 20 total by the end of the next couple of games, so let him keep shooting them. Kat's not making the best decisions on when to leave him to help, which gives Gordan those wide open dunker spot dunks on top of the 3s. Rudy on Jokic is going to get torched w/ Kat out of position to do anything defensively meaningful when a shot (usually wide open) goes up... Kat on Jokic w/ Rudy helping will also probably get torched... but it keeps Kat in a better position to be doing something meaningful on the defensive end. It puts him in position to rebound and/or at least apply some resistance during the play as opposed to being completely out of position and leaving a man open for a shot or dunk.
How would you handle the absence of Montes ball handling duties (if he can't go in game 5) and where would you put Kat on defense..?

The story begins in 1968 on one of the deepest freshwater lakes, crater lake in Washington state. Marc a 23 year old explorer, loved camping fishing just getting away from it all. Marc grew up in a smaller town Moses Lake Washington. Its located off the interstate in between Spokane and Seattle Washington, Marc decided he wanted to go explore the crater Lake area only telling his mother and father where he was headed. “Expect me back in a week” Marc said bags packed loaded into his 2015 ford explorer.
He pulled out of the driveway waving goodbye to his mother. Little did they know this was the last time they would see eachother due to the events about to unfold. Marc jammed his favorite tunes the whole 3 hour trip to crater lake. He was there found his campsite right away, nobody was within a 300 yards of his secluded little spot. He unpacked put up his tent and was ready for a hike.
It was 330 in the afternoon on day 1 of his little vacation. When he took off on a steep rugged trail that made its way around the lake. Marc never was one to stay on the beaten path as he liked to explore and go places not many others have ever gone. After getting his fill of sights and feeling exhausted and hungry. Marc decided it was time to make his way back to camp. He made dinner drank a few beers that he enjoyed while camping and turned in for the night.
It was a quiet night and Marc found himself fast asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow, The next morning Marc was up early made some breakfast and packed a lunch for the long eventful day ahead. His plan being to go off the beaten path again and find some little streams to fish along the way. Marc hiked about 3-4 hours off the main trail and found a beautiful crystal clear brook with rapids flowing into some deeper holes.
Perfect for catching brook trout and that he did. using a panther Martin black with yellow dots and a silver spoon to mimic baitfish and it was the color that was always his go to. It wasn’t but his second cast and a nice 1lb brookie nailed his spinner and put up a little fight before Marc landed it and immediately gutted it and stored it away. Brook trout are one of best eating trout. Marc continued to climb up the stream to higher elevations hitting hole after home along the way.
The day went by quick as it was nearing dusk and Marc had caught 12 nice sized brook trout and a couple little cutthroat as well. Plenty to make a good 3 meals out of. Geared with only a flashlight and his pack fishing pole and fish cleaning supplies Marc made his way of what he thought was the way back out towards his camp.
Checking his watch on his phone Marc seen it was 11pm pitch black dark out now and he realized he had been walking long enough that he shoulda recognized some landmarks or where he had made his way in, but he didn’t recognize anything and with it being dark out he was even more lost.
Without panicking Marc decided to set up a little camp where he was. under some big pine trees surrounding the whole area next to another little stream that he stumbled into. Giant boulders made for a nice cover to keep himself tucked away in case any large animals might have passed by looking for a meal. Marc was aware he was in bear country as well as cougar and wolves.
Unable to catch any sleep Marc sat and built a little campfire cooked a few trout ate them and kept the fire stoked until the sun started peeking up over the mountains at around 445 am. As soon as he was ready to get back on track Marc looked around and realized where he was or so he thought. The little stream forked off and hooked around making a horseshoe type shape exactly like the one he had seen on his way in yesterday afternoon.
Marc now excited and in a hurry quickly hiked through the brush mixed in with pine trees away from the streams until he could no longer hear the flow of them. After walking a hood 3 hours Marc was starting to get frustrated that nothing was looking familiar to him again. It was now early afternoon and Marc knew he was lost the terrain looked all so similar and he had ventured actually two times as far away from his original camp.
Unaware of this Marc made his way to another stream and decided to follow it down the mountain hoping it would lead into a lake or maybe crater lake where he was camping. Marc hiked and jogged and was just enjoying the scenery when he stumbled upon an old looking cabin. The trees were really big blocking out most all the light from the sun here and even at about 5pm it seemed like it was getting dark.
Marc was feeling wore down he had hiked close to 35 miles the past two days trying to find his way back out. He decided to go check if the cabin was inhabited he went up yjj ok the door knocked three of four times. But nobody answered. So after about 10 minutes of waiting marc decided to peer into the window and could see some old handmade furniture a wood stove and a few other miscellaneous items on the floor.
It looked like nobody had been here for years like it was an old secret hunting cabin back in the woods that only a few if any people knew about. Marc noticed a little homemade sign on the wall that read lakeshore cabin #41. He tried the door assuming it was locked but it was not. So he went in as the night was creeping in fast. He gathered some wood put in the wood stove cooked up some more trout and was exhausted from no sleep the night before .
Marc used his pack as a pillow curled up in the corner of the living room by the wood stove and was gone into dreamland before he knew it. Marc’s phone battery was in the red line when he had woken up only 18% left. So he decided to write in his phone notes just in case something were to happen to him or he didn’t make it back out. As he was doing this and finishing up he felt like he was being watched. Just had an eerie unsettling feeling of an evil presence nearby.
This gave Marc anxiety so after noting all this in his phone he turned it off to then save energy. His last few words on his phone when it was discovered two years after a missing persons report was filed said im actually feeling scared like I gotta leave now so I’m going to leave the cabin and head west as far as I can before next nightfall. I love you mom and dad and I hope I see you guys soon.
This was the last anyone ever heard of Marc when his phone was found busted up 25 miles away from crater lake under a group of smaller pine trees. No foul play was discovered and not one sign of Marc or his belongings were ever found to this day. Some say he stumbled into a haunted cabin and something evil took him never to be seen again. Others say he just got lost and ran outta food and water and eventually had succumbed to dehydration and the animals cleaned him up. But no bones, pieces of clothing anything was ever found.
Marc’s parents were able to gather his original tent and camping supplies as that had not been messed with up by crater lake. What do you think happened to Marc? Was he abducted, torn to pieces by animals, something paranormal in those woods got him? Another unsolved missing person in the woods story. Where do these people go? What is happening to them?

Hi folks! I just remembered this experience from last year, and thought I’d share it here. I was once traveling to my grandparents house in eastern Washington state, and I decided to stop off at a Burger King and go through the drive through to grab a snack.
Well, I pulled up to the drive through and it was pretty full. I debated whether to go somewhere else but by then I was hungry and I didn’t want to drive around looking for a small drive through line. The city I was in was pretty big and has a lot of restaurants, so I was worried that everywhere would be like this.
Anyway, I could see the line was moving… slowly, but it was moving, so I decided to just commit myself to waiting. Besides, I was making good time in my travels anyway and a break from the focus of interstate driving was nice.
As I waited, a state trooper pulled in behind me, probably in-between calls and just trying to grab a quick lunch. I didn’t really think much of it as I ordered my food, but once I got to the first window to pay, I decided what the heck. I don’t know what the trooper’s day had been like, and I wanted to make it a little brighter for him if he had just come from a bad call or something. So I asked the lady if I could pay for his meal on top of mine. It ended up being about another $15-$20 but you know what I didn’t mind.
As soon as I pulled up to the next window and got my food, the trooper pulled up to the window to pay, and I kind of watched him in my rear view mirror while I waited for my food to be ready. When the lady said his food had been paid for he got the biggest smile on his face. He actually got on his PA and said thank you. I waved, got my food, and pulled up to turn back onto the road.
He got his food and by then the road had cleared so I pulled out and headed back to the interstate. I lost sight of the trooper for a bit, but to my surprise he turned up on the on-ramp. He and I got on to the interstate, and he honked his air horn a couple times and sped ahead. I waved.
I hoped that me paying for his meal brightened his day. Sure it was an extra cost but it was well worth it.

Period: 1900-1908
The South Asian population in Canada grew by 5000%, with most of the new settlers being Punjabi Sikhs living in British Columbia, often working in nearby towns in Washington.
Anti-Asian Riots in Vancouver (1907)) - 10,000 white Canadians attack Japanese, Chinese and South Asian Canadian residents, homes and businesses in Vancouver. Most South Asians in the city were former military vets who kept weapons in the house, so they protected themselves from most of the violence that was inflicted on the Chinese and Japanese communities.
Bellingham Riots (1907) - inspired by the riots in Vancouver, 400-500 white men "threw the East Indian workers into the streets, beat them, and pocketed their valuables." 125 Indians fled the town.
Continuous Journey Act is Passed (1908)—In response to anti-Indian sentiment in Canada, the government passed a restrictive immigration act requiring Indians to travel directly to Canada from their country of origin. This was done to try and make immigration from the subcontinent essentially impossible, as ships from India would stop in Japan or Hawaii on their way to Canada due to the distance.
Period: 1967-1981
After Pierre Trudeau's "points system" to immigration, the South Asian population in Canada grew by 3295% - unlike in past decades, most new South Asian immigrants in this period came to Ontario instead of BC.
W. Pitman's 1977 report to the Toronto Transit Commission, Now is Not Too Late, highlights that out of 31 racially motivated attacks on transit, the vast majority have targeted young men of "Indian-subcontinent origin."
In 1976, South Asians living in Toronto reported rampant discrimination in the workplace. In 1977, South Asians protested against racism at Toronto's Queens Park. News articles from the same year show random acts of violence against people of South Asian origin in Ontario, including agitators forcing their way into homes and throwing bricks at South Asians in a city an hour west of Toronto.
Current Period: 2016 - Present
The growth rates have been nowhere near what they were in these other two periods. Based on immigration and census data, this period probably saw the South Asian population grow by between 45% and 55%. What's different this time around are:

1. Numbers: This ~50% growth rate represents an addition of about 1 million people. The highest gains to the South Asian Canadian population in history was seen between 2016 and 2021, and the 2026 Census may reveal even higher population growth in sheer numbers.
2. Location: Facing strains on affordability and in the job market in traditional immigration hubs like Toronto and Vancouver, much of the new migrants are moving to outlying areas. As many are coming to Canada first through the community college system, they are accepting offers in areas without an established South Asian community. For example, in the relatively remote city of Timmins, where there were only 170 South Asians out of a population of 41,000 in 2016 - there are now over 6,000 international students, mostly from India. Other cities and towns have seen the desi population double (Kitchener), triple (Oshawa, Charlottetown, Halifax), up to a 900% increase (ex. Woodstock) in less than a decade. If the population grows more rapidly than people's attitudes and exposure to our cultures do, this can cause major backlash.
3. Visibility: Where past generations of Desi blue-collar immigrants worked in factories and warehouses in Ontario, and in the lumber mills, construction and canneries in BC - new migrants tend to be in the customer-facing service industry (fast food, retail, delivery). While population figures have increase significantly, many Canadians may only interact with South Asians in these places, which leads them to believe the rate of population growth is much larger than it actually is.
4. High Profile Negative Media Reports: From the 2018 Humboldt Bus Crash to the Killing of Harjit Nijjar to Extortion by South Asian Criminal Syndicates. I don't to have to spell out all of the negative press lately, but aside from the Lower Mainland Gang Conflict - South Asians have not had such a negative image in the public eye.

This is not some conclusive peer-reviewed study. History is a great teacher though.
Will it get better? There are things we can control like advocacy, unity and standing up for ourselves and others. If there is a link between mass immigration and racism, it's beyond our control. The government is restricting the number of student visas issued starting September, 2024. As it stands, there doesn't seem to be any media reports about how South Asian Canadians are discriminated against due to the rapid growth in immigration, though many of us feel it. I think this is a conversation that needs to be heard by politicians and journalists as the sentiment could affect everything from employment, to social lives to housing. This may just be something we have to endure for the period, as generations in the past have had to as well.
TLDR: We are currently experiencing rapid immigration-driven population growth in the South Asian community in Canada. There seems to be a link between this growth, especially to places where we have not already had a presence, and the racism directed towards the community by those who live in those areas. If people's attitudes and exposure don't change as fast as the community grows, this could be a major cause of the racism many of us experience.

I've proceeded to analyse tominecon_decoy.7z, to hopefully give you some hints / useful info:

"data" file - decoy.7z

I've checked it's distribution to see if it's a random file (probably created with dd from /dev/urandom) or in fact an encrypted file. It's most likely pure random data.

#=============================================================================# # dieharder version 3.31.1 Copyright 2003 Robert G. Brown # #=============================================================================# rng_name filename rands/second mt19937 data 1.82e+08 #=============================================================================# test_name ntup tsamples psamples p-value Assessment #=============================================================================# diehard_birthdays 0 100 1000.14824994 PASSED diehard_operm5 0 1000000 1000.99221054 PASSED diehard_rank_32x32 0 40000 1000.62322888 PASSED diehard_rank_6x8 0 100000 1000.94647366 PASSED diehard_bitstream 0 2097152 1000.39253237 PASSED diehard_opso 0 2097152 1000.75828360 PASSED diehard_oqso 0 2097152 1000.87984506 PASSED diehard_dna 0 2097152 1000.29672829 PASSED diehard_count_1s_str 0 256000 1000.73366092 PASSED diehard_count_1s_byt 0 256000 1000.20492264 PASSED diehard_parking_lot 0 12000 1000.14511226 PASSED diehard_2dsphere 2 8000 1000.27126738 PASSED diehard_3dsphere 3 4000 1000.54520320 PASSED diehard_squeeze 0 100000 1000.78978626 PASSED diehard_sums 0 100 1000.00770937 PASSED diehard_runs 0 100000 1000.04017858 PASSED diehard_runs 0 100000 1000.62921475 PASSED diehard_craps 0 200000 1000.26167301 PASSED diehard_craps 0 200000 1000.97952518 PASSED marsaglia_tsang_gcd 0 10000000 1000.91089978 PASSED marsaglia_tsang_gcd 0 10000000 1000.65922260 PASSED sts_monobit 1 100000 1000.85781635 PASSED sts_runs 2 100000 1000.99942293 WEAK 

"secret.mp4" file - decoy.7z

Transcript.srt (Whisper v2)

1 00:00:00,000 00:00:06,000 Kids get the best of it with WDCA Channel 20 in Washington, D.C. 2 00:00:06,000 00:00:14,000 Think twice before you answer. 3 00:00:14,000 00:00:16,000 Think twice. 4 00:00:16,000 00:00:20,000 Think twice before you say yes. 5 00:00:20,000 00:00:23,000 Think twice before you answer. 6 00:00:23,000 00:00:26,000 Think twice before you say yes. 7 00:00:26,000 00:00:28,000 You know, I know y'all saying this and that. 8 00:00:28,000 00:00:31,000 Look at this food. Got this watermelon here. 9 00:00:31,000 00:00:36,000 The reason why I say think twice is because... 10 00:00:36,000 00:00:40,000 That's giving me a little air. That'll give me a little air, y'all. 11 00:00:40,000 00:00:45,000 The reason why I say think twice is because... 12 00:00:45,000 00:00:54,000 I just can't understand how we as black people started eating watermelon in the closet. 13 00:00:54,000 00:00:57,000 Lord have me. 14 00:00:57,000 00:01:00,000 This is called the heart. 15 00:01:00,000 00:01:06,000 You know, it makes me feel so bad sometimes when I see black... 16 00:01:06,000 00:01:08,000 My black brothers and sisters. 17 00:01:08,000 00:01:14,000 And they'll see me eating a piece of watermelon like this here. 18 00:01:14,000 00:01:17,000 And they'll go... 19 00:01:17,000 00:01:20,000 And they'll go to frown their faces on me. That's despicable. 20 00:01:20,000 00:01:22,000 But it's good. 21 00:01:22,000 00:01:24,000 And you know the thing that makes me mad? 22 00:01:24,000 00:01:28,000 When I go to their parties, they will take a big pretty watermelon like this... 23 00:01:28,000 00:01:31,000 And cut all kinds of gadgets. 24 00:01:31,000 00:01:34,000 And then cut the inside. 25 00:01:34,000 00:01:36,000 You see this good piece of watermelon here? 26 00:01:36,000 00:01:39,000 Cut all the guts out that good watermelon. 27 00:01:39,000 00:01:42,000 And mix it up and mess it up with something else. 28 00:01:42,000 00:01:44,000 Man, sometimes they got a notion to put liquor in it. 29 00:01:44,000 00:01:49,000 And then after they cut them little crevices in it, then put it back inside of that hood. 30 00:01:50,000 00:01:55,000 Man, that's a waste of watermelon when all you got to do with it is pick it up like this here. 31 00:01:55,000 00:01:58,000 Look here, let's pick it up like this here. 32 00:02:03,000 00:02:05,000 I don't mess it up. 33 00:02:05,000 00:02:07,000 I can work my eye out. 34 00:02:07,000 00:02:10,000 That's the way you eat a watermelon. 35 00:02:10,000 00:02:13,000 And I don't care if you use a PHD, if you use a whatever. 36 00:02:13,000 00:02:17,000 You can't tell me cutting all that out, putting it back in there. 37 00:02:20,000 00:02:22,000 Yeah, Lord. 38 00:02:22,000 00:02:24,000 It's better than this here. 39 00:02:24,000 00:02:26,000 Now, I know you're sitting at home. 40 00:02:26,000 00:02:28,000 That's an ignorant nigga. 41 00:02:28,000 00:02:30,000 But this is a sweet watermelon. 42 00:02:30,000 00:02:34,000 I ain't going to waste no time cutting no watermelon up and mixing it up in no fruit cocktail. 43 00:02:34,000 00:02:37,000 All I'm saying to you, be yourself. 44 00:02:37,000 00:02:39,000 Because I went to a party the other night with some white folks. 45 00:02:39,000 00:02:40,000 They didn't have it in that thing there. 46 00:02:40,000 00:02:41,000 They had slices. 47 00:02:41,000 00:02:43,000 Walk around, Peter Green, you want a slice? 48 00:02:43,000 00:02:44,000 I said, yeah, give me a slice. 49 00:02:44,000 00:02:48,000 One of them, they said, I don't think, I didn't think you blacks eat watermelon like that. 50 00:02:48,000 00:02:50,000 You can't eat watermelon like that no more. 51 00:02:50,000 00:02:52,000 I said, look, lady, don't try to get out on me, you understand? 52 00:02:52,000 00:02:55,000 You just want to eat the good part and want me to cut it all up and do it. 53 00:02:55,000 00:02:59,000 And then, you know, I was mad with niggas for putting salt on a watermelon until two old bamboos. 54 00:02:59,000 00:03:02,000 I was talking to two cold-blooded country bamboos. 55 00:03:02,000 00:03:04,000 And I said, why y'all put salt on watermelons? 56 00:03:04,000 00:03:05,000 Niggas were a man in my home. 57 00:03:05,000 00:03:07,000 I said, you know, I'm down in that bottom in Virginia. 58 00:03:07,000 00:03:08,000 I said, let me tell you about salt, Peter. 59 00:03:08,000 00:03:11,000 He said, you Washington niggas put too much salt on it. 60 00:03:11,000 00:03:13,000 I said, I watched you, Peter. 61 00:03:13,000 00:03:21,000 You dump salt on it and say you put a twang of salt on a sweet melon and it brings out like accent. 62 00:03:21,000 00:03:22,000 I said, what you say? 63 00:03:22,000 00:03:24,000 He said, man, I love watching you Washington people. 64 00:03:24,000 00:03:26,000 Y'all dump salt on it like you got chicken. 65 00:03:26,000 00:03:29,000 He said, but you twang it. 66 00:03:29,000 00:03:31,000 I never knew that. 67 00:03:31,000 00:03:37,000 But I just want to sit here this evening and let y'all know there's two things you don't do. 68 00:03:37,000 00:03:42,000 Don't cut the insides out of no watermelon and mix it with nothing else. 69 00:03:42,000 00:03:46,000 And don't put no two sticks around a corner rochner. 70 00:03:46,000 00:03:48,000 You know, y'all niggas put two sticks. 71 00:03:48,000 00:03:49,000 Don't do that. 72 00:03:49,000 00:03:55,000 You get one of them big rochners, saturate it with some butter and hit that. 73 00:03:55,000 00:03:57,000 Be yourself. 74 00:03:57,000 00:04:01,000 And always remember that I got it off the vine. 75 00:04:01,000 00:04:02,000 It's sweet like, honey. 76 00:04:02,000 00:04:04,000 And I'll plug it all the time. 77 00:04:04,000 00:04:06,000 Sit back, y'all. 78 00:04:06,000 00:04:08,000 This nigga's good and crazy. 79 00:04:08,000 00:04:09,000 Hold it, boy. 80 00:04:09,000 00:04:14,000 I tell y'all just. 81 00:04:14,000 00:04:17,000 Adjust the color in the taco. 82 00:04:17,000 00:04:19,000 Give yourself a slice of watermelon. 83 00:04:19,000 00:04:22,000 And get ready to groove with Petey Green's White. 84 00:04:52,000 00:05:21,000 Mm hmm. 85 00:05:21,000 00:05:48,000 Mm hmm. 86 00:05:48,000 00:05:49,000 Mm hmm. 

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During the course of my career as an alpha Sasquatch hunting, Dogman destroying, pussy crushing, luxury watch loving dude, I have run into this particular woman a few times. She is one part uber sensuality, and the other part deadly. Yes, I am speaking about the lovely, Anna Conda. I bring her up because I had another run-in with her last year.

Anna and I first joined forces, so to speak, when she acted as a go-between in my business deal with the Chinese to sell them bigfoot parts. See, I would hunt and kill the critters, cut them up, deliver the parts to Anna, who in turn gave me a suitcase containing unmarked American hundred-dollar bills, then she would transport the bigfoot parts to the Chinese. I was never really sure of what the sneaky-ass Chinese were doing with the body parts. All I knew for sure is that they are extracting certain materials from them, then synthesizing them with some other shit, creating some sort of drug. Whether it then becomes a bio-weapon or a dick stimulant, I do not know. Neither do I care. As long as they kept the hundies coming, I was good.

Now, while Anna is of Russian descent, she is a freelancer. She will work for any sick, skeevy motherfucker out there. She does not care. She has no conscience, at least not in the traditional sense as we understand it in western civilization. Today she is working for the Chinese, and tomorrow she may be working for Hamas. She is a slippery motherfucker.

So here is how it went down. At 11:32 p.m. on a Friday in September of last year I get a call on my cell phone. When the call came in I was balls deep into this hot little lass I picked up at the bus station a little earlier in the evening from an old swarthy chap named “Colorado Joe”. He wanted to sell me the girl. I was assured she was over 20 years old. I told him I needed to take her out for a test ride, which he agreed to.

So, there I was, balls deep in “Bing Bang Yun”, and my phone rings. Of course, I silence all incoming calls not in my contacts list. Thus, I knew that I must know the caller. In mid stroke I reached over to the nightstand to retrieve my cell and looked at it. It was a call from “Sergio”. I thought, “Oh shit…. I am going to have to cut the Oriental bang circus short.” When Sergio calls, I have to respond…immediately. He has the best blow on the east coast!!

“Hey, Serge! What’s up?”, I asked. All he said was, “Hooters. 2:00 a.m.”, then hung up. This was obviously the rendezvous for the transaction. Now, understand that Serge was not talking about the chicken wing restaurant. Hooters was code, in case the feds were listening in on the line. “Hooters” meant the titty bar out on Highway 69 called “The Plump Rump”. We had a communications code we used.

It was a long haul to the titty bar, so I needed to get moving. I had no time to return the girl to Colorado Joe, so I took her with me. I had her blow me on the way to the meeting with Sergio, telling her that her performance would make the difference on whether I save her from Joe or not. Of course, after she was done I tossed her out of my speeding truck and down, over the bridge, and into the Wendigo River below. I did not need any complications in my life right now.

I arrived at The Plump Rump at 2:00 a.m. on the dot. I saw the manager, Lou Skunt, sitting at the bar when I walked inside. I nodded. He walked over and said to me, “Use my office for the meeting The parties are already in there waiting for you.” I nodded and then headed to Lou’s office. Then it hit me: Lou said the “PARTIES” are already here. That is, parties, meaning more than one person. It was not just Sergio. It was 2 or more people! Lou was probably in for a cut of whatever was about to go down.

Something was bad fucked up!! I know for a fact that Sergio never brings anyone with him on a deal, at least not with me. He is too distrustful of people to do that, and too fucking mean to need protection. Something was wrong. I was just as likely to get whacked when I enter Lou’s office as anything else. I needed a moment to think things through.

I took a spot in front of one of the performance poles to watch a young, swarthy Mexican lass perform. My mind quickly strayed from the problem at hand to this brown chick’s ass and tits. She was not a great looking chick, but her body was smoking!! I quickly became aroused. I thought to myself, “Goddamn Asian bitches!! They are just like Chinese food – after 2 hours you are ready for some more!!”

When the little Mexican chick went on break I motioned her over to my table. “Hola Senior!!”, she said. I pulled out a clear plastic baggie of blow and dropped it on the table. Her eyes grew wide and slobber starting falling from her mouth. Blow is like catnip for strippers. Thus, she fell under my spell immediately.

The next thing I know, this brown girl was on my lap, dry humping me like a feral bitch dog in heat. I had to bang her. I NEEDED to see my wang penetrating her. Just then, someone taps my shoulder hard. I look up to see Lou standing over me. He bent down and said, “Did you forget about my office, asshole?!?!?!” I replied, “Damn, Lou!! You read my mind!!!” I arose, with the little Mexican bolted onto my mid-section, and hastily retreated to Lou’s office. I figured Lou would prefer me to stain this chick in private rather than out in the open.

The door to the office opened easily. The lights were on inside. In a lustful haze, I set the little Mexican chick on her back across Lou’s desk and started pumping the shit out of her, completely unaware of the others in the room with us. In a moment I heard someone call my name. I twist my neck around to see Sergio sitting on Lou’s jizz crusted couch. I think to myself, “Oh shit! I forgot about that shit!”

I figured I would just move forward with the deal as it was proposed to me. “Hey Serge! What ya got for me, dude?”, I asked. He replied, “I have a very special deal for you. I need, uh … yeah, ……Hey, Rod, you want to stop for a moment so we can talk?” I picked up the little tamale and laid her down onto Sergio’s lap as I continued to plow her. She stayed on my cock the whole time. I told Sergio, “No, man. I’m good! Lay it on me!” Slowly, Sergio lowered his face into his palm.

Then it happened. The voice cam from behind me, in the dark corner of Lou’s office. It was velvety yet hard as steel. “Rod. Went need to talk”, it said. Even though I did not stop pumping the little brown chick, a chill went down my spine when I heard those words. It was the thick timbre of the voice, I think, that alerted me.

I turned to look across the room. There, sitting in a red leather captains chair against the wall was the source of the sultry voice: Anna Conda.

I picked up the little taco yet again and turned her around so I could face Anna as I continued pumping her. At this point the Mexican girl was merely a masturbation toy I was using. I increased my pump so I could dump my load and get this over with. Then BAMM!!!, it was over. I removed the lass from my huge rod, after which her body crumpled to the floor. I did not know if she was dead or injured, or what had happened to her. But I did not care either, so I did not dwell on it.

I tried to compose myself the best I could, then walked over to stand before Anna so I could get to the bottom of all this business. “Well, well, well. Anna Conda. We meet again. Tell me, what brings you here, to my little neck of the woods?”

Anna replied, “Rod, put your dick away.” I looked down and, indeed, I had forgotten to stow my cock. Out of pure curtesy, I packed it away. Then I returned my attention to Anna. “Alright, Anna, what’s going on here?”

Anna launched into a startling tale about what brought her to me. As she spoke I became lost in her wanton beauty. She got up from her chair and walked about the room as she relayed her story, presumably to make it more dramatic and demonstrative. I got a full-on view of her body, and it was fantastic!!

She stands 5’10’’ and weighs 105 lbs. She is lithe. She was showing it off too, wearing a black, silk dress that landed just about her ankles. The top was low-cut, betraying just a bit of cleavage from her C-cup wineglass titties. She was not wearing a bra. Anna never wears a bra. Her nips were perfectly outlined through the silk. In fact, I think her nips were hard. It was probably something she did on purpose in an attempt to influence me. It was working.

Anna’s ass was perfect. It was not at all fat, but round enough not to be skinny. It was a fit figure skater’s ass. As she walked, I could see a tiny bit of jiggle emanating from her ass flesh, and then reverberated in the silky black dress she wore. My cock began growing hard again.

Her face was beautiful. Think Scarlett Johanson and Phoebe Cates rolled into one. But any sweetness this may evoke is quickly dispelled by Anna’s throaty voice with its thick Russian accent. I have known Anna for 20 years. Yet, she still does not look a day over 25. Jesus Christ!!! If ever there was a chick to die for ….. If I was one to delve into the belief of the paranormal, then I may conclude that Anna made a deal with the devil. But, I am not such a person.
And literally, Anna Conda is a chick to die for. She is deadly as fuck. She will kill you in a split second without a thought just because she does not like the shirt you are wearing. She can do it too. She is always armed and she knows how to use her weapons. Moreover, she is a total psychopath. This makes her doubly dangerous.

Anna and I have always gotten along for the most part. Like Anna, the dollar is my primary motivating factor. Such a mindset allows for understanding and predictability among people, which are elements that are sorely missing in many business dealings today that go on in the color of darkness.

Suddenly, Anna snapped me out of my thoughts. “Here’s your gun, Rod. Now let’s get started”, said Anna. She and Sergio were halfway through the door exiting Lou’s office when I said, “Hey, wait a damned minute!!! What are you talking about?!?”

They both stopped, and Anna walked back in and looked me in the eyes, saying “The plan, Rod. Let’s get on with the plan.” A little embarrassed, I sheepishly asked, “What plan?” Anna folded her arms and looked cross at me. After a moment to allow me to simmer in my shame, she asked, “You were not paying attention, were you, Rod?” I shook my head and looked down.

I heard a hammer cock. I jerked my head back up to find myself staring down the barrel of a pistol pointed at my head that Anna was holding. I protested, “Look, it is not my fucking fault!! Put that fucking gun down!!!” I continued, “You were distracting me with …. Well.. you know, how you are dressed, and that hot, sultry voice…. You know?”

“So, instead of paying attention to the plan, you chose to eye-rape me. Is that what I am to understand your position is, Rod?”, she asked. Knowing that my life was on the line, I said, “Anna, look, you know I am horny to a fault. Then you come in here, swinging them tits around, wearing that silk dress showing off the crack of your ass…. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU EXPECT TO HAPPENED?”

Anna lowered her gun. She knew that my explanation of being a total cocksman was truth. “Let’s go”, Anna curtly said. I obeyed.

Anna explained the plan to me again on the drive from The Plump Rump. She made me wear a blindfold so that I would not get horny during her explanation. Here is how it went:

Anna Conda was now working for the Russians. It seems that Putin caught wind of the Sasquatch project that the Chinese were working on. He also knew that the American government have been fucking with sasquatch for decades. Thus, he was very concerned about the existence of a bigfoot gap. He ordered the acquisition of a Sasquatch specimen immediately.

Moreover, said specimen must be prime. It needed to be the biggest, baddest sasquatch of them all – a true alpha – so as to speed things along. Putin did not want some weird shit-creature, is-it-a-sasquatch-or-is-it-a-dogman, kind of monstrosity. He wanted purebred, badass sasquatchery, and preferably from the American Pacific northwest.

Anna got in on it because she sold the intel to Putin about China’s Sasquatch operation. She then told Putin she could produce sasquatch corpses for him. She told him she had a contact (i.e., me). Thus, with Putin’s blessing and promises of riches to come, Anna set out to America to find me.

Now, here is where things got a bit squirrely. See, I agreed to procure some more dead sasquatch. I have no problem with killing sasquatch because, in my opinion, they are an abomination on this Earth. I kind of feel like I am doing God’s work by wiping out as many of them as I can. And given all the not-so-Godly stuff I have done, I feel like killing Sasquatch kind of offsets that to some degree.

But Anna, she was stuck on Putin’s instruction that she must supply him with apex Sasquatch. So she did not want to take my advice of heading to the Pacific Northwest or Alaska. Instead, Anna claimed to have pinpointed the whereabouts of a particularly gruesome sasquatch beast that she KNEW would win her a fortune from Putin if she brought it to him.

“So, where is this beast?”, I asked. Anna replied “Martha’s Vineyard”. I paused. Then I asked her to repeat herself. It turns out that I was not mistaken about what Anna had said. I continued, “Uh, Anna, there are no sasquatch on Martha’s Vineyard, just a lot of wealth New Englander schmucks.”

Anna looked at me and told me I was wrong. Then she decided to attempt to taunt me. “Oh, Rod, mighty slayer of Bigfoot! Yet, you fail to take notice of where the biggest, most foul and rotten beast of them all makes its home. Jesus, Rod!! What kind of bigfoot hunter are you, anyway?” Anna then spit at my feet and wondered aloud whether she even needs me for this job.

I decided that I needed to straighten out the hierarchy here in order for this here deal to move forward. I said, “Well, Anna, feel free to truck on over to Old Whitey Beach and battle that beast. But, if there is a big old mangy sasquatch lurking around over there, then it is probably a fucking Nazi-Squatch. You know, those fuckers out there hate the Jews.”

The work “Nazi” visibly shook Anna. Her great grandfather died defending Leningrad. Her entire family there died of either starvation or cannibalism during Hitler’s siege during Operation Barbarossa. Anna despised Nazis. But she feared them too. After landing that punch, I decided to push my luck.

“Now, I am still willing to help you catch this here Nazi-Squatch, but you have to do something for me”, I said. Now Anna’s eyes were on me, and they were narrowing. I continued, “I want you to get bare assed naked and pleasure yourself while I stand over you and jack it.” Anna stared at me silently for a long moment. Then she replied.

“After the job is done, and you can get none of your … fluids… on me”, she said. I shook my head and countered, “Now, and I will ‘try’ to not get my spunk on you.”

However, Anna then turned the tables on me. In fact, she picked up the table and bashed my head in with it. She looked me in my eyes, then matter-of-factly said, “You get the beast, and your prize shall be a night with me, anything goes, darling.” Well, since this caused all of the blood to immediately drain from my brain, I had a lapse in judgment. “DEAL!!”, I said. Then we shook on it.

“OK, tell me more about this supposed monster sasquatch on Martha’s Vineyard”, I said. I still was not ready to believe there was a monster out there. “I show you photo”, said Anna. She took out her phone, scrolled to find the photo, then handed the phone to me. “There. Sasquatch”, she said.

I stared at the photo and remained silent. After a long moment, I turned the phone so that Anna could see the photo and asked, “Uh, Anna, is THIS what you intended to show me?” She replied. “Yes! There…Sasquatch! The biggest, grossest monster around.”

Now, I could not argue with Anna that the image on her phone is a big, gross monster. Hell, it could actually be a sasquatch, and THE UBER sasquatch. It is most certainly the grossest thing on Martha’s Vinyard. But I somehow do not think this is what Putin is expecting.

I turned to Anna and said, “Anna, this is a photo of Michelle Obama. I know it looks vile, and has a huge, hulking body with large appendages where a woman should not have them. But, sweatheart, that ain’t no sasquatch. That’s a big, hairy Chicago street negro.”

Anna did not believe me at first. She was hard in her conviction that Obama was a sasquatch. “I have seen the Sasquatch beast you deliver to me for China. This … Michelle Obama …. It is big, and hairy, and ugly like the sasquatch beast, but worse.”

When the truth finally set it, I could see that it had kind of broken down poor Anna, if only just a bit. I put my arm around Anna and told her, “Look, Michelle O fooled you. Hell, she and her Hamas Hubby fooled millions of Americans, twice! At least you saw Michelle for what she is, to wit: a big, gross sasquatch, and NOT some kind a retarded leftist messiah.”

After that, things took a rather dark turn. “What if we still take her to Putin? We can make deal; sell her to Putin!!” At this point I held up my hands and said, “I’m out”, then turned and walked away. Anna followed, trying to get me to stay. At this point, I could tell that Anna was coming undone a little.

See, she had to produce for Putin. There is no telling what kind of secret deal she actually had with him. She had to deliver a big old mangy Obama …. Er, uh, I mean … Sasquatch, to Putin.

“Ok, Rod, we do your plan. We go out west to kill bigfoot. Huge, monster bigfoot. she said. I turned and looked Anna in her eyes and said the following: First, we bang for 48 hours straight, right now, so I can get my fill of you. Second, you pay me $10,000.00 cash upfront. Third, upon delivery of the dead bigfoot, you pay me $1 million immediately.”

Anna agreed to everything, but noted that at the present time it was her “time of the month”. I grimaced, as I will absolutely not go there (and she knows that). “Fine, next week we bang”, I said. She pointed out that I would be in the woods next week hunting sasquatch. “Fine, once I come out of the woods, then we bang – 48 hours straight”, I said. “Of course, darling!”, she agreed.

Well, it took several days to set up the hunt, but it finally happened. I was in Washington state at high elevation based on intel I has acquired that indicated that there was a monstrous 15’ tall sasquatch on the mountain range that had been murdering and eating hunters and hikers. After 3 months in these mountains without a trace of the creature I began to lose hope, thinking that I probably got some bad intel, or bad coordinates.

I got my satellite phone out to call for an extraction. Winter was setting in fast, and if I did not get off this mountain soon, then I would freeze and/or starve to death. Unfortunately, my contact did not answer. I tried for 2 days. No answer. I had been fucked. I wondered what had happened back in civilization that caused me to be abandoned like this. I resolved that I would get off that mountain and get to the bottom of this shit. There would be hell to pay for this betrayal!!’

I was able to get in touch with contacts from back home. I got old Billy Ray from Ellijay and Rattler on the phone and got them to come out here to Washington State to extract me. Rattler use to fly helicopters in the Army. He has an old Huey sitting in his front yard, to the chagrin of his HOA. He fired that sucker up, and him and old Billy Ray flew out here to my coordinates and extracted me.

After landing at a convenience store to buy some beer for the flight home, we headed east. Through the skies a way, Billy Ray said, “Well, Rod, I guess you is bout ready to git back home to Georgia, eh?” In fact, I was ready to go home. But I had to take care of some business first. I told them both to take me to New York City. They were both perplexed. All I said to them was “I have an old friend there I have to see before I can go home.”

I have intel on where Anna Conda stays when she is in the United States. She stays at certain hotels depending on what month she is here, and whether her check-in date is an odd or even number. This is for undercover work. I came across the code for her stays while doing the sasquatch work for China. She an I were caught in a snowstorm one night in Buffalo, NY, and had to share a room at the Holiday Inn near the airport. We had like 10 big Igloo ice chests with iced down sasquatch body parts with us in the room.

Anna was like, “No hanky panky, Rod. I am tired and I want to go to bed. Tomorrow we finish business.”

Frankly, I did not blame her for withholding her magnificent muff from me. I was tired as hell. But, I could not settle for nothing. So, when Anna was in the bathroom taking a shower, I started going through her suit case. I wanted to find some of her panties to jack off into. Instead, I found a little black notebook. Inside it contained her lodging codes, and some other interesting things. I photographed the contents with my phone and then put it back.

When Anna got out of the shower she was already dressed in her night clothes. She saw me lying on my back, nude on the bed, and jacking it. “Rod!! GROSS!!!! Go to the restroom to do that shit!!!”, she commanded. I just did it to get a rise out of her. LOL!!

So, if Anna is still inside the U.S., then using the codes I stole from her I can locate precisely where she will be that night. I studied it for a few moments then had my answer. Tonight she would be staying at the Dogman Inn on Hwy 95 South, Room 355. I told Rattler to get me there stat!

We had to stop several times for fuel and beer. Those Hueys go just a bit over a hundred MPH, you know. But eventually, we got there. I gave the boys some money and told them to go to the Waffle House for some coffee to sober up. Then they would fly me home.

I should mention that I also had Rattler’s fully auto Russian AK-74 with spare mags. During the long flight with 2 drunks from Washington State to New York City, I had worked myself up into a towering rage over how Anna fucked me on this Putin deal. She had clearly thrown me aside. But for what, exactly? I figured I would storm the hotel room, get some answers, then shower the room with gun fire.

I busted through the door of Room 355 at exactly 3:35 a.m. There she was. My entry roused her from slumber. I was pointing my rifle at her, center mass. She was shocked at the appearance of a gunman in her room at this time of night. However, she was not as shocked as one would think (this was not the first time something like this has happened to her).

I raised my face from the receiver just enough so she could see it was me. “Rod!!!”, she exclaimed. “What happened to you?!?!? I thought you had died up in those mountains when we never hear from you!” I replied, “Shove it up that cute little ass of yours, Anna. You fucked me. And not in the good way. What the fuck was all that shit about needing a sasquatch for Putin?!?”

Anna played dumb. But it struck me that I had been deliberately put out of the loop for 3 months. Why? Who wanted me away for that long, and why? What went on in my absence?!? I was just dying to know!!! I set my rifle down and pulled out my fixed blade knife, ready to get down to some real nasty work on Anna so I could get some truth. The pure evil of what I was about to do to her caused a wide death grin to grow on my face. Anna saw it. She knew what it meant. She swallowed hard and her eyes betrayed the shear terror she felt inside. I was engorged with blood lust. She knew she had fucked up one time too many this time!!

Suddenly came the sound of the toilet in the bathroom flushing. I was momentarily shocked. I did not expect anyone else to be there with Anna. Anna saw it in my face. I glanced at her and saw that the terror in her face was replaced with pleasure, a slight smile creeping over her face.

I was going to have to face off against this person in the bathroom, who would be out in a split moment. When I do that, I will have to turn 180 degrees from Anna, thereby making me vulnerable to her. I had only once choice: Shoot Anna first.

Just as this came to me, but just before I could act on it, the bathroom door opened. I had to deal with that person before Anna now. I spun around to see that it was a completely nude, and fat, white man. He was a real oafish blob. He looked surprised to see me. He also looked sort of familiar.

I next heard the crack of something hitting my skull hard. I remember the immediate hateful pain that shot through my body and the sound of blood rushing through my ears. I remember the dizziness, then falling to the floor. Clearly, as I fixed on the man from the bathroom, Anna had cracked me over the head with a blunt object.

I came to the next morning, Billy Ray and Rattler had manage to track me down based upon coordinates I left in the chopper that said “IN CASE OF EMERGENCY”. Billy Ray filled up the hotel room ice bucket with cold water and doused my head with it to bring me conscious. I was disoriented at first. But after a bit, what happened in this room the night before came back to me.

Honestly, I am surprised that Anna did not just kill me. I presume that she thinks she can leverage her drop-dead hotness to get me to do more shit for her in the future. She is absolutely right about that too. Rattler then said, “Hey, Rod, that snake bitch left a letter fer ya.”

He handed me the letter. This is what it said:
____________________________________________

“Dear Rod:

Sorry about the boo boo on your head. Hope it heals soon. Also sorry about leaving you in the mountains. I was not running a scam on you Rod. Rather, an opportunity arose for me to acquire a sasquatch body from another person. You may know him since you are a sasquatch hunter. His name is Matt Moneymaker. Anyway, until next time…..

Yours truly,
Anna Conda”
_____________________________________________
I could not fucking believe it. That was fatfuck Moneymaker in the hotel room earlier. Anna fucked Matt Fatfuck Moneymaker for a Sasquatch! That fat son of bitch!!

Billy Ray asked, “You ready to go Rod?” I stood up and said, “Yeah, let’s go.” Then Rattler said, “Hey, ya wanna stop and git some beer fer the ride home?” I replied “Hell yeah.”

I felt like I wanted to die. Thank God for beer and buddies. I don’t blame Anna. She is a fucking snake, and I knew that before this started. Also, I cannot really blame fatfuck Moneymaker for wanting to get some of that hot poon pie Anna serves up. I guess I have to blame fate for fucking me over this time. I even started thinking that next time I will just avoid Anna. But I know I won’t, thus making me subject to this sort of shit again. I had Rattler set us down in Charlottesville so I could buy some hard liquor.

I am in charge of planning our annual company party this year, and I am looking for ideas/suggestions.
Last year we did Tower Lanes and had bowling and mini golf available for attendees, so it would be cool to have another venue with something fun for folks to do.
Here are some other things to note:

• I am anticipating around 50 attendees. They are scattered across western Washington (Tacoma is generally a good mid-point, but open to other places nearby)
• Venue/activities should be family-friendly
• Food included is a plus, but also open to renting a space and hiring a caterer
• Looking to spend around or less than $3000 overall
• Date is flexible, but looking for sometime in August (on a weekend)

I have started proposals for renting a space in Point Defiance Park, bringing in yard games, and hiring a food truck/caterer. I have also considered the Family Fun Center in Tukwila. I would love to hear other ideas from folks who have successfully planned similar events in the area. Maybe some new businesses have opened up recently?
Thanks in advance!

May 13th, 1996 Queens New York (Walking Home From High School)
Characters: Tommy, Ghost, Big T
(Tommy) One more week of this school shit and we can start making the real money with K and Breeze money this summer.
(Ghost) I don’t know why you’re complaining about school Tommy, its not like you ever do anything in class anyways.
(Tommy) I handle my work when I need to Ghost.
(Ghost) Yes because staring at Ms.Washington’s ass all day is work.
(Tommy) Hey It’s not as easy as it looks, that shit gets fatter every year. You know how hard it is to not get caught.
(Ghost) Tommy she catches you all the time, it’s just she’s old and likes the attention.
(BigT) laughs Y’all little niggas stupid. Damn I wish I could kick it with y’all and work for K and Breeze this summer. My moms wants to send me to some dumb ass weight lost camp. Talking about she an’t got money to buy new clothes every year. Like I don’t already pay for my own shit. She think she’s slick, but she really just want me out the way so that bitch ass Latino can come over and fuck her. I should sit on his scrawny ass.
(Ghost) Damn T can’t you take it easy on him and just shoot him instead.
(BigT) laughs Fuck you light bright nigga! …. Yo Ghost what would you do if you ever left this shit?
(Ghost) The game?
(BigT) Yea.
Ghost thought for a moment before answering his childhood friend.
(Ghost) I don’t know man. Probably open up a club like my pops had. I already know how to run one. You?
(BigT) Real shit. When I get enough money and get out the game I’m going to open up a restaurant and call it “Truth”. It’s gone be a place where everyone from any hood can kick it, no beef just good food and niggas chilling with fine bitches.
(Tommy) You two sound like a bunch of old fuckers talking about getting out the game, when we’ve barely even stepped in. This shit is the only thing I’m good at, if I can I’ll do this shit forever.
Suddenly a 1986 Chevy Malibu pulled up with windows tinted and the driver rolled down the window slowly to revel a young man dressed in all black with a mask on.
(Driver) Y’all niggas fuck with Breeze right?
Tommy was about to speak but Ghost tapped his shoulder stopping him. Ghost tried his best to look confused.
(Ghost) Breeze who? Never heard that name.
(Diver) chuckle Wrong answer nigga.
Suddenly the driver drew out his Glock.
(Ghost) Fuck! Run!
Ghost, Tommy, and BigT ran in different directions as the driver sprayed bullets everywhere before he emptied the clip and sped off.
Ghost patted his body all over.
(Ghost) Tommy? Tommy?! You good?
(Tommy) I’m good Ghost. Big T you alright?
…
(Tommy) Big T!!
Ghost and Tommy looked over and saw their childhood friend bullets stained in his chest as he spat out blood.
(Ghost) Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! T stay with us! Tommy lift his fucking head up!
(BigT) coughcough Damn this really it dog.
(Ghost) No brother you will be fine I promise!
(BigT) cough You can’t promise that shit James, but you can spary that pussy ass nigga for me. Yep cough spray that nigga and open that club. Do something with your life.
He bled out.
(Ghost) T! T!
(Tommy) He’s gone Ghost…
Ghost stood up grabbed his cell phone and called Breeze.
(Ghost) Breeze T just hit in a drive by.
(Breeze) The fuck! By who? He dead?
(Ghost)…
(Breeze) Damn sorry Ghost he was a real nigga, meet me and K at the spot. Before the sun go down we gone make this shit right.
(Ghost) Bet.
Ghost hung up the phone and turned to his dead friend.
(Ghost) That nigga dies tonight and Tariq we got your moms I promise.

Hello. As the title says, we'll be visiting June 17-21. We'll be staying in Ephraim. My wife and I have a five-year-old who will join us. Looking for opinions on our tentative plans thus far, and looking for suggestions to fill in the gaps. I am an avid kayaker, and we love to hike, so Peninsula State Park is definitely something we want to do. We also thought about taking the ferry to Washington Island. I like the idea of it, but I'm not sure if our child will be bored once the ferry ride is over, and it's about an hour of driving each way. Starting to wonder if substituting another state or county park or natural area might be a better option.
I'm interested in suggestions for dining in and around Ephraim. Willing to drive 30-45 minutes for a good meal. I know we're getting there right after Fyr Bal Festival, but I'd love to hear about any other local festivities while we're there that are worth checking out. We love good food and drink, so any wineries or breweries you can recommend are greatly appreciated! Also interested in hearing your recommendations for best spots to kayak and hike, outside of Peninsula State Park.
Mon 6/17: Arrive mid-morning
Tue 6/18: Nothing planned yet
Wed 6/19: Peninsula State Park: hike and kayak. Pack a lunch and eat in the park?
Thu 6/20: Washington Island Ferry? Other park?
Fri 6/21: Depart