Hey there! My name is Jonathan. I made a post a couple weeks ago that didn't get any attention so I'm giving it a second shot. I'm hoping to find someone I can chat with and get to know with the hope that we could make something special between us.
A quick bio of me: I am a 6 foot tall white guy with blonde hair and hazel eyes. My hair is pretty short and I have a scruffy beard. Oh, and I wear glasses because I am basically blind. I can share a photo if you ask. I have my bachelor's in health sciences and I currently work as a physical therapy technician with the goal to get into a physical therapy assistant program. I work full time so I'm pretty busy, but in my free time I like to play video games, watch TV, and play card games. I also enjoy cooking and trying new recipes. I also like traveling and visiting new places. I like museums, zoos, aquariums, theme parks, and nature parks.
What I'm searching for: someone nice and funny who enjoys life but takes it seriously when they need to. I'd prefer dating someone 21+, but otherwise I don't have age preferences. If you're older than me, that's okay. What matters is the attraction (physical and mental). Speaking of attraction, I don't have any specific features I'm attracted to. I think everyone is beautiful in their own way. I'm also not worried about distance. I'd prefer you be from the United States because that's just easier, but I'm open to dating internationally as well.
If I interest you, send me a chat with a short introduction of yourself and tell me what your favorite show was growing up.

Hello! I am new to this reddit community although I discovered Healthygamergg's videos around a year ago.
I have moved around a number of times in my life, but this year I moved from a school I had been at for eight years back to a school district I lived in before those eight years.
Anyways, I feel like at this school I am unhappy because I feel like I don't have the same deep friendships that other seniors have, and I don't feel any true connection to the friends I do have here. Perhaps this is because I simply haven't been here for long enough to form those connections. I also am upset at the fact that it's hard to find friends who I share similar interests to. For example, I really like basketball, and at my old school I knew many kids with whom I would play with. Here, I did find a friend and we did play basketball, but it was only a few times and I never quite found a group of friends who share similar interests to me.
Also, I have developed quite a bit of social anxiety, and I am constantly worried that people will judge me for all kinds of things like how I dress and how I look and who I am friends with and what I say. It makes me exhausted, and because of this very often I dread going to school, which is foreign to me because at my old school I actually liked going to school.
And I feel like to some extent people are actually judging me, and it's not all in my head. Let me explain:
I have always been someone who likes to talk, and I would consider myself a really witty person who when they are comfortable. I approached this year with a lot of optimism, and I did meet a lot of people through activities and sports and classes with whom I am now friends. But I feel like when I do make jokes and get too comfortable, people stop taking me seriously, or sort of see me as the clown who is the person to be laughed at. I don't like that. Don't get me wrong, I feel like people still respect me and I have made friends through my humor, but sometimes I feel like people are laughing at me rather than with me
It might also be helpful to mention that although I moved to this school for senior year, I lived in this school district around 10 years ago, so in early elementary school. Because of this, a lot of kids still knew me and I knew them, which is a good thing I guess, but I also was a kind of weird kid back in the day, and maybe I still am. It's just that I feel like here I am treated like I am more weird, whereas at my old school people treated me with respect and I felt like I was appreciated as a person.
Maybe this is bias, but I feel like I have reason to believe that in this school district I have just been treated worse. For example, when I was here, I was always put in either the normal or "special" classes and was never a smart kid. Then I moved to what is now my old school and I feel like I was given another chance to prove my academic ability and since then I have been a straight A student taking all the hardest classes. Also, in this school district, I used to have few friends, and I knew that people would talk behind my back or judge me for how loud I could be, or for I don't even know what just people would judge me. But at my old school, sure people initially made fun of me or judged me, but I feel like I slowly built respect and made a lot of friends who actually cared about me and thought I was a cool and normal person. Something I want to have here, which I feel I don't.
Anyways, I hope this makes any sense (my brain is fried since I have an AP tomorrow) and I know that all of this won't really matter because my school ends next week and I graduate in a few weeks, but I do worry that this year my self esteem has gotten a lot lower, and I know that this can do a lot of harm when I try to build relationships after highschool.

Hello! I am a recent graduate and am starting to study for the GRE. I recently took a practice test for my first time and got a 283; I am aiming for anything above a 315+, and am only working part time so I am willing to dedicate all my time to this.
I have always been an average student who’s not smart so i’ve always had to work hard to get to where i am today. I was wondering if anyone had any study tips or advice on raising your score? I have seen a lot on this sub but i don’t know if i’ve seen any where people are in a similar situation as me.
I have never been the smartest but I want to prove to myself that I can do this and I want to achieve my goal. Any advice, from particular websites or study habits that worked or websites/companies would all be welcome.
Thank you for all the help. I am looking forward to reaching my goal :)

Hey Twin Cities Redditors,
I hope you're all doing well! I'm a senior student majoring in Computer Science, and I'm on the lookout for an internship opportunity in the Twin Cities area. With my graduation on the horizon, I'm eager to gain hands-on experience and contribute to a dynamic team.
Here's a bit about me: I have a strong background in programming languages like Python, Java, and C++, and I've been honing my skills through coursework and personal projects. Whether it's software engineering, web development, or data science, I'm passionate about diving into any opportunity that allows me to apply my knowledge in real-world scenarios.
I'm particularly interested in internships that offer the chance to work on meaningful projects and collaborate with talented professionals. My goal is to not only learn and grow but also make a positive impact wherever I go.
If you know of any internship openings or have any advice to share, I'd greatly appreciate it! Feel free to reach out via DM or leave a comment below.
Thanks in advance for your help and support! Let's connect and make something awesome together in the Twin Cities tech scene. 🚀

Enhancing Web Navigation through PARAMS

Understanding how to seamlessly incorporate email addresses into a website's URL represents a significant leap towards advanced web development and user interaction. This method, primarily achieved through the use of URL parameters (PARAMS), allows for a more dynamic and personalized web browsing experience. It enables developers to create more engaging, user-centric websites that can effectively communicate with visitors by utilizing their email addresses for various purposes, such as customization, pre-filled forms, or personalized greetings. This approach not only simplifies the user journey but also opens up new avenues for marketing strategies and customer engagement.
The technical execution of appending email addresses to URLs involves a nuanced understanding of web development practices, particularly in the manipulation of the query string. By leveraging the PARAMS element within a URL, developers can pass user-specific information, such as an email address, between web pages or to server-side scripts. This process requires careful consideration of URL encoding to ensure that special characters in email addresses do not interfere with the URL structure. Understanding these technicalities is essential for developers looking to enhance website functionality and offer a more tailored browsing experience to their users.

Command/Feature	Description
window.location.href	JavaScript property to get or set the URL of the current page
encodeURIComponent()	JavaScript function to encode a URI component, including email addresses, to ensure special characters do not interfere with the URL structure

Expanding the Use of URL Parameters for Email Integration

Integrating email addresses into website URLs using parameters is a powerful technique for personalizing the user experience and enhancing data tracking capabilities. This method involves appending email addresses or other user-specific data to URLs as query parameters, which can then be accessed and utilized by the web page or server-side scripts. For example, by including an email address as a URL parameter, a website can offer a personalized welcome message to the user or pre-fill forms with their information, reducing the effort required for form submissions and improving user satisfaction. Additionally, this approach can significantly benefit marketing efforts, allowing for the tracking of user engagement and the effectiveness of email marketing campaigns by monitoring how users interact with the website after clicking on a link embedded in an email.
The technical aspect of adding email addresses to URLs involves careful encoding to ensure that special characters in email addresses do not disrupt the URL structure. The JavaScript function encodeURIComponent is essential in this context, as it makes email addresses safe to include in URLs by encoding characters such as '@' that could otherwise be misinterpreted by web browsers. Moreover, developers must also consider security and privacy implications, ensuring that sensitive information transmitted via URL parameters is protected, for example, by using HTTPS to encrypt data in transit. Implementing these techniques requires a balance between enhancing user experience and maintaining data security, emphasizing the need for best practices in web development and design.

Appending an Email to a URL

JavaScript Example

const email = "user@example.com"; const baseUrl = "http://www.example.com"; const encodedEmail = encodeURIComponent(email); window.location.href = `${baseUrl}/?email=${encodedEmail}`; 

Enhancing User Experience Through URL Parameters

Embedding email addresses into URLs using parameters is a sophisticated approach aimed at customizing the user's online journey. This technique enables websites to deliver a more personalized experience by using the information transmitted through URL parameters. For instance, a website could automatically fill in a user's email address on a subscription form based on the parameters passed in the URL, thereby simplifying the process for users and increasing the likelihood of form submission. This method not only improves user engagement but also provides a seamless transition for users following links from emails, directly impacting the efficiency of email marketing campaigns by offering tailored content or special offers based on the user's previous interactions with the website.
However, the utilization of email addresses in URL parameters necessitates a thorough understanding of web security practices. Given the potential for sensitive information to be exposed in URLs, it's paramount that developers implement measures to safeguard this data. This includes ensuring that any webpage handling URL parameters over HTTPS to encrypt the data transmitted between the client and server. Additionally, developers should be cautious about how this data is stored or logged to prevent unintended disclosure of personal information. Adhering to these security measures can mitigate risks while harnessing the benefits of personalized web experiences through URL parameter integration.

FAQs on Integrating Email Addresses into URLs

1. Question: Is it safe to include email addresses in URLs?
2. Answer: Including email addresses in URLs can be safe if transmitted over HTTPS and if proper encoding is used. However, developers must be cautious of privacy concerns and ensure that sensitive information is handled securely.
3. Question: How do you encode email addresses for URL parameters?
4. Answer: Email addresses can be encoded using the JavaScript function encodeURIComponent() to ensure that special characters, such as the '@' symbol, are properly formatted for URL inclusion without breaking the structure.
5. Question: Can email parameters in URLs improve user experience?
6. Answer: Yes, by using email parameters, websites can offer personalized experiences, such as greeting users by name or pre-filling forms, enhancing the overall user experience.
7. Question: What are the privacy concerns with using email addresses in URLs?
8. Answer: The primary concern is the potential exposure of email addresses in server logs, browser history, or through referral headers, risking the user's privacy.
9. Question: How can I secure email information passed in URLs?
10. Answer: To secure email information, ensure that your website uses HTTPS to encrypt data transmitted between the client and server, and avoid storing sensitive information in URLs whenever possible.

Final Thoughts on URL Parameter Integration

Utilizing URL parameters to include email addresses in website URLs offers a unique opportunity to personalize the user experience and streamline interactions. This technique enables a direct and customized approach to web navigation, where users are greeted with content that resonates with their preferences and needs. Despite its benefits, the practice requires a nuanced understanding of web security and privacy considerations to protect user data effectively. Secure practices, such as using HTTPS and proper data encoding, are essential to prevent potential data breaches and ensure user trust. As the digital landscape continues to evolve, leveraging URL parameters for email integration represents a forward-thinking approach to web development. It underscores the importance of creating user-centric websites that prioritize security, privacy, and personalized experiences, marking a significant step towards more engaging and responsive web environments.
https://www.tempmail.us.com/en/params/integrating-email-addresses-into-website-urls-with-the-params-method

Just curious if anyone else is going to InterActivity this week and if so, what are your main goals?
Also if you have been before, is there anything of note to share about going?
For me I am going as an independent Interactive/exhibit designer and developer, looking to network and also see what everyone is up to tech wise.

I've been running a Big Chad Guys server for a few weeks now, and wanted to update Create and it's addons to get the latest features. I've got the modpack itself working now, but cannot for the life of me figure out how to update the version of Fabric that the server uses. I downloaded the executable jar (fabric-server-mc.1.20.1-loader.0.15.11-launcher.1.0.1.jar) into the existing server folder (after backing it up), and changed the start.bat file to point to it, but it keeps crashing. I tried deleting the server.jar and the fabric-server-launch.jar since I read somewhere that I had to delete them and let the executable jar I downloaded create them when I ran it, but that didn't happen. Can someone please give me some assistance updating this server?
EDIT: I used the manual installer program which generated a new server.jar and fabric-server-launch.jar, so I deleted/replaced the files and re-ran the start.bat file, and now it just doesn't do anything.

In the ’80s, the spy agency investigated the "Gateway Experience" technique to alter consciousness and ultimately escape spacetime.
The intrigue revolves around a classified 1983 CIA report on a technique called the Gateway Experience, which is a training system designed to focus brainwave output to alter consciousness and ultimately escape the restrictions of time and space.
The CIA was interested in all sorts of psychic research at the time, including the theory of applications of remote viewing, which is when someone views real events with only the power of their mind. The documents have since been declassified and are available to view.
This is a comprehensive excavation of The Gateway Process report. The first section provides a timeline of the key historical developments that led to the CIA’s investigation and subsequent experimentations. The second section is a review of The Gateway Process report. It opens with a wall of theoretical context, on the other side of which lies enough understanding to begin to grasp the principles underlying the Gateway Experience training. The last section outlines the Gateway technique itself and the steps that go into achieving spacetime transcendence.
Let’s go.
THE TIMELINE
• 1950s - Robert Monroe, a radio broadcasting executive, begins producing evidence that specific sound patterns have identifiable effects on human capabilities. These include alertness, sleepiness, and expanded states of consciousness.
• 1956 - Monroe forms an R&D division inside his radio program production corporation RAM Enterprises. The goal is to study sound’s effect on human consciousness. He was obsessed with “Sleep-Learning," or hypnopedia, which exposes sleepers to sound recordings to boost memory of previously learned information.
• 1958 - While experimenting with Sleep-Learning, Monroe discovers an unusual phenomenon. He describes it as sensations of paralysis and vibration accompanied by bright light. It allegedly happens nine times over the proceeding six weeks, and culminates in an out-of-body experience (OBE).
• 1962 - RAM Enterprises moves to Virginia, and renames itself Monroe Industries. It becomes active in radio station ownership, cable television, and later in the production and sale of audio cassettes. These cassettes contain applied learnings from the corporate research program, which is renamed The Monroe Institute.
• 1971 - Monroe publishes Journeys Out of the Body, a book that is credited with popularizing the term “out-of-body experience.”
• 1972 - A classified report circulates in the U.S. military and intelligence communities. It claims that the Soviet Union is pouring money into research involving ESP and psychokinesis for espionage purposes.
• 1975 - Monroe registers the first of several patents concerning audio techniques designed to stimulate brain functions until the left and right hemispheres become synchronized. Monroe dubs the state "Hemi-Sync" (hemispheric synchronization), and claims it could be used to promote mental well-being or to trigger an altered state of consciousness.
• 1978 to 1984 - Army veteran Joseph McMoneagle contributes to 450 remote viewing missions under Project Stargate. He is known as “Remote View No. 1”.
• June 9th, 1983 - The CIA report "Analysis and Assessment of The Gateway Process" is produced. It provides a scientific framework for understanding and expanding human consciousness, out-of-body experiments, and other altered states of mind.
• 1989 - Remote viewer Angela Dellafiora Ford helps track down a former customs agent who has gone on the run. She pinpoints his location as “Lowell, Wyoming”. U.S. Customs apprehend him 100 miles west of a Wyoming town called Lovell.
• 2003 - The CIA approves declassification of the Gateway Process report.
• 2017 - The CIA declassifies 12 million pages of records revealing previously unknown details about the program, which would eventually become known as Project Stargate.
THE REPORT
Personnel
The author of The Gateway Process report is Lieutenant Colonel Wayne M. McDonnell, hereon referred to simply as Wayne. There isn’t a tremendous amount of information available on the man, nor any photographs. In 1983, Wayne was tasked by the Commander of the U.S. Army Operational Group with figuring out how The Gateway Experience, astral projection and out-of-body experiences work. Wayne partnered with a bunch of different folks to produce the report, most notably Itzhak Bentov, a very Googleable American-Israeli scientist who helped pioneer the biomedical engineering industry.
A scientific approach
From the outset of the report, Wayne states his intent to employ an objective scientific method in order to understand the Gateway process. The various scientific avenues he takes include:
• A biomedical inquiry to understand the physical aspects of the process.
• Information on quantum mechanics to describe the nature and functioning of human consciousness.
• Theoretical physics to explain the time-space dimension and means by which expanded human consciousness transcends it.
• Classical physics to bring the whole phenomenon of out-of-body states into the language of physical science (and remove the stigma of an occult connotation).
Methodological frames of reference
Before diving into the Gateway Experience, Wayne develops a frame of reference by dissecting three discrete consciousness-altering methodologies. He’s basically saying, there’s no way you’re going to get through The Gateway without a solid grounding in the brain-altering techniques that came before it.
1) He begins with hypnosis. The language is extremely dense, but the basic gist is as follows: the left side of the brain screens incoming stimuli, categorizing, assessing and assigning meaning to everything through self-cognitive, verbal, and linear reasoning. The left hemisphere then dishes the carefully prepared data to the non-critical, holistic, pattern-oriented right hemisphere, which accepts everything without question. Hypnosis works by putting the left side to sleep, or at least distracting it long enough to allow incoming data direct, unchallenged entry to the right hemisphere. There, stimuli can reach the sensor and motor cortices of the right brain, which corresponds to points in the body. Suggestions then can send electrical signals from the brain to certain parts of the body. Directing these signals appropriately, according to the report, can elicit reactions ranging from left leg numbness to feelings of happiness. Same goes for increased powers of concentration.
2) Wayne continues with a snapshot of transcendental meditation. He distinguishes it from hypnotism. Through concentration the subject draws energy up the spinal cord, resulting in acoustical waves that run through the cerebral ventricles, to the right hemisphere, where they stimulate the cerebral cortex, run along the homunculus and then to the body. The waves are the altered rhythm of heart sounds, which create sympathetic vibrations in the walls of the fluid-filled cavities of the brain’s ventricles. He observed that the symptoms begin in the left side of the body, confirming the right brain’s complicity. Bentov also states that the same effect might be achieved by prolonged exposure to 4 - 7 Hertz/second acoustical vibrations. He suggests standing by an air conditioning duct might also do the trick. (David’s Lynch and other celebrities are committed adherents to transcendental meditation today.)
3) Biofeedback, on the other hand, uses the left hemisphere to gain access to the right brain’s lower cerebral, motor, and sensory cortices. Whereas hypnosis suppresses one side of the brain, and TM bypasses that side altogether, biofeedback teaches the left hemisphere to visualize the desired result, recognize the feelings associated with right hemisphere access, and ultimately achieve the result again. With repetition, the left brain can reliably key into the right brain, and strengthen the pathways so that it can be accessed during a conscious demand mode. A digital thermometer is subsequently placed on a target part of the body. When its temperature increases, objective affirmation is recognized and the state is reinforced. Achieving biofeedback can block pain, enhance feeling, and even suppress tumors, according to the report.
The Gateway mechanics
With that, Wayne takes a first stab at the Gateway process. He classifies it as a “training system designed to bring enhanced strength, focus and coherence to the amplitude and frequency of brainwave output between the left and right hemispheres so as to alter consciousness.”
What distinguishes the Gateway process from hypnosis, TM, and biofeedback, is that it requires achieving a state of consciousness in which the electrical brain patterns of both hemispheres are equal in amplitude and frequency. This is called Hemi-Sync. Lamentably, and perhaps conveniently, we cannot as humans achieve this state on our own. The audio techniques developed by Bob Monroe and his Institute (which are comprised as a series of tapes). claim to induce and sustain Hemi-Sync.
Wayne employs the analogy of a lamp versus a laser. Left to its own devices the human mind expends energy like a lamp, in a chaotic and incoherent way, achieving lots of diffusion but relatively little depth. Under Hemi-Sync though, the mind produces a “disciplined stream of light.” So, once the frequency and amplitude of the brain are rendered coherent it can then synchronize with the rarified energy levels of the universe. With this connection intact, the brain begins to receive symbols and display astonishing flashes of holistic intuition.
The Hemi-Sync technique takes advantage of a Frequency Following Response (FFR). It works like this: an external frequency emulating a recognized one will cause the brain to mimic it. So if a subject hears a frequency at the Theta level, it will shift from its resting Beta level. To achieve these unnatural levels, Hemi-Sync puts a single frequency in the left ear and a contrasting frequency in the right. The brain then experiences the Delta frequency, also known as the beat frequency. It’s more familiarly referred to these days as binaural beats. With the FFR and beat frequency phenomena firmly in place, The Gateway Process introduces a series of frequencies at marginally audible, subliminal levels. With the left brain relaxed and the body in a virtual sleep state, the conditions are ideal to promote brainwave outputs of higher and higher amplitude and frequency. Alongside subliminal suggestions from Bob Monroe (naturally), the subject can then alter their consciousness.
The Gateway system only works when the audio, which is introduced through headphones, is accompanied by a physical quietude comparable to other forms of meditation. This increases the subject’s internal resonance to the body’s sound frequencies, for example the heart. This eliminates the “bifurcation echo”, in which the heartbeat moves up and down the body seven times a second. By placing the body in a sleep-like state, The Gateway CD’s, like meditation, lessen the force and frequency of the heartbeat pushing blood into the aorta. The result is a rhythmic sine wave that in turn amplifies the sound volume of the heart three times. This then amplifies the frequency of brainwave output. The film surrounding the brain—the dura—and fluid between that film and the skull, eventually begin to move up and down, by .0005 and .010 millimeters.
The body, based on its own micro-motions, then functions as a tuned vibrational system. The report claims that the entire body eventually transfers energy at between 6.8 and 7.5 Hertz, which matches Earth’s own energy (7 - 7.5 Hertz). The resulting wavelengths are long, about 40,000 kilometers, which also happens to be the perimeter of the planet. According to Bentov, the signal can move around the world’s electrostatic field in 1/7th of a second.
To recap, the Gateway Process goes like this:
• Induced state of calm
• Blood pressure lowers
• Circulatory system, skeleton and other organ systems begin to vibrate at 7 - 7.5 cycles per second
• Increased resonance is achieved
• The resulting sound waves matches the electrostatic field of the earth
• The body and earth and other similarly tuned minds become a single energy continuum.
We’ve gotten slightly ahead of ourselves here though. Back to the drawing board.
A psycho-quantum level deeper
Wayne then turns to the very nature of matter and energy. More materially (or less if you will), solid matter in the strict construction of the term, he explains, doesn’t exist. The atomic structure is composed of oscillating energy grids surrounded by other oscillating energy grids at tremendous speeds. These oscillation rates vary—the nucleus of an atom vibrates at 10 to the power of 22, a molecule vibrates at 10 to the power of 9, a human cell vibrates at 10 to the power of 3. The point is that the entire universe is one complex system of energy fields. States of matter in this conception then are merely variations in the state of energy.
The result of all these moving energies, bouncing off of energy at rest, projects a 3D mode, a pattern, called a hologram, A.K.A our reality as we experience it. It's best to think of it as a 3D photograph. There’s a whole rabbit hole to go down here. Suffice it to say, the hologram that is our experience is incredibly good at depicting and recording all the various energies bouncing around creating matter. So good, in fact, that we buy into it hook, line, and sinker, going so far as to call it our "life."
Consciousness then can be envisaged as a 3D grid system superimposed over all energy patterns, Wayne writes. Using mathematics, each plane of the grid system can then reduce the data to a 2D form. Our binary (go/no go) minds can then process the data and compare it to other historical data saved in our memory. Our reality is then formed by comparisons. The right hemisphere of the brain acts as the primary matrix or receptor for this holographic input. The left hemisphere then compares it to other data, reducing it to its 2D form.
In keeping with our species' commitment to exceptionalism, as far as we know humans are uniquely capable of achieving this level of consciousness. Simply, humans not only know, but we know that we know. This bestows upon us the ability to duplicate aspects of our own hologram, project them out, perceive that projection, run it through a comparison with our own memory of the hologram, measure the differences using 3D geometry, then run it through our binary system to yield verbal cognition of the self.
The click-out phase
Wayne then shows his cards as a true punisher, issuing, "Up to this point our discussion of the Gateway process has been relatively simple and easy to follow. Now the fun begins." Shots fired, Wayne. What he's preparing the commander reading this heady report for is the reveal—how we can use the Gateway to transcend the dimension of spacetime.
Time is a measurement of energy or force in motion; it is a measurement of change. This is really important. For energy to be classified as in motion, it must be confined within a vibratory pattern that can contain its motion, keeping it still. Energy not contained like this is boundary-less, and moves without limit or dimension, to infinity. This disqualifies boundary-less energy from the dimension of time because it has no rate of change. Energy in infinity, also called "the absolute state," is completely at rest because nothing is accelerating or decelerating it—again, no change. It therefore does not contribute to our hologram, our physical experience. We cannot perceive it.
Now back to frequencies. Wave oscillation occurs because a wave is bouncing between two rigid points of rest. It's like a game of electromagnetic hot potato (the potato being the wave and the participants' hands being the boundaries of the wave). Without these limits, there would be no oscillation. When a wave hits one of those points of rest, just for a very brief instant, it "clicks out" of spacetime and joins infinity. For this to occur, the speed of the oscillation has to drop below 10 the power of -33 centimeters per second. For a moment, the wave enters into a new world. The potato simply disappears into a dimension we cannot perceive.
Theoretically speaking, if the human consciousness wave pattern reaches a high enough frequency, the “click-outs” can reach continuity. Put another way, if the frequency of human consciousness can dip below 10 to the power of 33 centimeters per second but above a state of total rest, it can transcend spacetime. The Gateway experience and associated Hemi-Sync technique is designed for humans to achieve this state and establish a coherent pattern of perception in the newly realized dimensions.
Passport to the hologram
In theory, we can achieve the above at any time. The entire process though is helped along if we can separate the consciousness from our body. It’s like an existential running head start where the click-out of a consciousness already separated from its body starts much closer to, and has more time to dialogue with, other dimensions.
This is where things get a little slippery; hold on as best you can. The universe is in on the whole hologram thing, too, Wayne writes. This super hologram is called a "torus" because it takes the shape of a fuck-off massive self-contained spiral. Like this:
Give yourself a moment to let the above motion sink in...
This pattern of the universe conspicuously mirrors the patterns of electrons around the nucleus of an atom. Galaxies north of our own are moving away from us faster than the galaxies to the south; galaxies to the east and west of us are more distant. The energy that produced the matter that makes up the universe we presently enjoy, will turn back in on itself eventually. Its trajectory is ovoid, also known as the cosmic egg. As it curls back on itself it enters a black hole, goes through a densely packed energy nucleus then gets spat out the other side of a white hole and begins the process again. Springtime in the cosmos, baby!
And that is the context in which the Gateway Experience sits.
[Deep breaths.]
THE TECHNIQUE
The following is an outline of the key steps to reach focus levels necessary to defy the spacetime dimension. This is an involved and lengthy process best attempted in controlled settings. If you’re in a rush, you can apparently listen to enough Monroe Institute Gateway Tapes in 7 days to get there.
The Energy Conversion Box: The Gateway Process begins by teaching the subject to isolate any extraneous concerns using a visualization process called “the energy conversion box.”
Resonant Humming: The individual is introduced to resonant humming. Through the utterance of a protracted single tone, alongside a chorus on the tapes, the mind and body achieve a state of resonance.
The Gateway Affirmation: The participant is exposed to something close to a mantra called The Gateway Affirmation. They must repeat to themselves variations of, “I am merely a physical body and deeply desire to expand my consciousness.”
Hemi-Sync: The individual is finally exposed to the Hemi-Sync sound frequencies, and encouraged to develop a relationship with the feelings that emerge.
Additional Noise: Physical relaxation techniques are practiced while the Hemi-Sync frequencies are expanded to include “pink and white” noise. This puts the body in a state of virtual sleep, while calming the left hemisphere and raising the attentiveness of the right hemisphere.
The Energy Balloon: The individual is then encouraged to visualize the creation of an “energy balloon” beginning at the top of the head, extending down in all directions to the feet then back up again. There are a few reasons for this, the main one being that this balloon will provide protection against conscious entities possessing lower energy levels that he or she may encounter when in the out-of-body state.
Focus 12: The practitioner can consistently achieve sufficient expanded awareness to begin interacting with dimensions beyond their physical reality. To achieve this state requires conscious efforts and more “pink and white noise” from the sound stream.
Tools: Once Focus 12 is achieved, the subject can then employ a series of tools to obtain feedback from alternate dimensions.
Problem Solving: The individual identifies fundamental problems, fills their expanded awareness with them, and then projects them out into the universe. These can include personal difficulties, as well as technical or practical problems.
Patterning: Consciousness is used to achieve desired objectives in the physical, emotional, or intellectual sphere.
Color Breathing: A healing technique that revitalizes the body’s energy flows by imagining colors in a particularly vivid manner.
Energy Bar Tool: This technique involves imagining a small intensely pulsating dot of light that the participant charges up. He or she then uses the sparkling, vibrating cylinder of energy (formerly known as the dot) to channel forces from the universe to heal and revitalize the body.
Remote Viewing: A follow-on technique of the Energy Bar Tool where the dot is turned into a whirling vortex through which the individual sends their imagination in search of illuminating insights.
Living Body Map: A more organized use of the energy bar in which streams of different colors flow from the dot on to correspondingly-colored bodily systems.
Seven days of training have now occurred. Approximately 5 percent of participants get to this next level, according to the report.
Focus 15 - Travel Into the Past: Additional sound on the Hemi-Sync tapes includes more of the same, plus some subliminal suggestions to further expand the consciousness. The instructions are highly symbolic: time is a huge wheel, in which different spokes give access to the participant’s past.
Focus 21 - The Future: This is the last and most advanced state. Like Focus 15, this is a movement out of spacetime into the future.
Out-of-Body Movement: Only one tape of the many is devoted to out-of-body movement. This tape is devoted to facilitating an out-of-body state when the participant’s brain wave patterns and energy levels reach harmony with the surrounding electromagnetic environment. According to Bob Monroe, the participant has to be exposed to Beta signals of around 2877.3 cycles per second.
CONCLUSIONS
Wayne expresses concern about the fidelity of information brought back from out-of-body states using the Gateway technique. Practical applications are of particular concern because of the potential for “information distortion.”
The Monroe Institute also ran into a bunch of issues in which they had individuals travel from the West to the East Coast of the U.S. to read a series of numbers off of a computer screen. They never got them exactly right. Wayne chalks this up to the trouble of differentiating between physical entities and extra-time-space dimensions when in the out-of-body state.
Wayne swings back to support mode though, lending credence to the physics foundation of the report. He cites multiple belief systems that have established identical findings. These include the Tibetan Shoug, the Hindu heaven of Indra, the Hebrew mystical philosophy, and the Christian concept of the Trinity. Here he seems more interested in hammering home the theoretical underpinnings that make The Gateway Experience possible, rather than the practical possibilities promised by The Gateway Tapes.
Possibly with his CIA top brass audience in mind, Wayne then gives an A-type nod to The Gateway Experience for providing a faster, more efficient, less subservient, energy-saving route to expanded consciousness. This finishes with a series of recommendations to the CIA for how to exploit Gateway’s potential for national defense purposes.
The missing page
One curious feature of The Gateway Report is that it seems to be missing page 25. It’s a real cliffhanger too. The bottom of page 24 reads “And, the eternal thought or concept of self which results from this self-consciousness serves the,” The report picks back up on page 26 and 3 sections later as if Wayne hadn’t just revealed the very secret of existence.
The gap has not gone unnoticed. There's a Change.org petition requesting its release. Multiple Freedom of Information Act requests have demanded the same. In all cases, the CIA has said they never had the page to begin with. Here’s a 2019 response from Mark Lilly, the CIA’s Information and Privacy Coordinator, to one Bailey Stoner regarding these records:
One theory goes that that rascal Wayne M.-fricking-McDonnell left the page out on purpose. The theory contends that it was a litmus test—if anyone truly defies time-space dimensions, they’ll certainly be able to locate page 25.
[Cosmic shrug.]
Writing Credit Vice
​
CIA Declassified Report– The Gateway Experience
Here is a copy of the Missing Page 25
There will be a Gateway Help Post following within the next couple days. Thought you might be interested in a little history in the meantime. Cheers!

Hey Redditors,
I hope you're all doing well! I'm a senior student majoring in Computer Science, and I'm on the lookout for an internship opportunity (either in person or remote). With my graduation on the horizon, I'm eager to gain hands-on experience and contribute to a dynamic team.
Here's a bit about me: I have a strong background in programming languages like Python, Java, and C++, and I've been honing my skills through coursework and personal projects. Whether it's software engineering, web development, or data science, I'm passionate about diving into any opportunity that allows me to apply my knowledge in real-world scenarios.
I'm particularly interested in internships that offer the chance to work on meaningful projects and collaborate with talented professionals. My goal is to not only learn and grow but also make a positive impact wherever I go.
If you know of any internship openings or have any advice to share, I'd greatly appreciate it! Feel free to reach out via DM or leave a comment below.
Thanks in advance for your help and support!

Hello, I am a UK Citizen currently about to graduate in less than a month with a Integrated Masters of Engineering in Mechanical Engineering from a prestigious UK university.
I have interests in CAD, Design Work, FEA, Mathematics (Especially Calculus), Robotics, Additive Manufacturing and Physics in general.
After visiting the middle east a few times, I have a desire to possibly move there within the next 5-10 years. I believe the developments in the Middle East especially in academia will reach the level of Europe and the rest of the world within the next 10-20 years.
My question is, is it worth me pursuing a PHD in the UK/US/Europe, then becoming an assistant professor at a university either in Europe/US/ ME and then finally working towards becoming a full time professor in the UAE or other Middle eastern countries? Is there a big enough scope and would I even be wanted there?
Thanks for reading.

Introduction

There was a post that was recently posted and it's been asked a ton: "How do I get a computer science related job after I graduate from KSU?". I thought I'd share this with everyone because I've been down this path and managed to make it on the other side. This will be a long explanation and hopefully, can serve as some sort of guide for students. That being said, things are subjective and this is not the holy grail of how to make it. You might find all, some or none of it useful. I encourage testimonials and whatnot in the comments. Can be applied to all majors but, this primary for technology-based majors since I am in tech field. YMMV

About Me

I've been around here for a while. I was a student not too long ago, studied computer science for my bachelors. After graduating, I work in FAANG and have worked in big tech for a while. No, I don't work at Amazon. I am a senior software engineer. I touch frontend & backend technologies. I participate in hiring frequently.

Starting Out

Over the years and while attending here, there's been a weird disconnect between students, goals and how to achieve them in tech. Goals can be anywhere from learning new technologies, getting internships to securing a full time job before or after you graduate. As much as I would love for there to be a path where you can do minimum effort and still succeed, there isn't. A lot of you seem to not realize that. Getting a degree in this field is not enough. Doing projects that show no passion / interests is not enough. Being stuck on tutorials for years is not enough.
This field is much like a sport. There are very few people that can just be great without any effort. You have to be consistent. Four years is not a lot of time. It goes by super fast. If you constantly push things back and you do not take the time to learn the fundamentals outside the classroom, you will not succeed in this field. This field is at a point where there's so many of you. Every post on LinkedIn and news articles said "hey, this field is a gold mine and you'll make six figures out the gate". For a time, maybe that was somewhat true. As of writing this, it's not. You're going against people who have: better schools, better experience, etc. You have to find a way to diversify yourself early. If you can't diversify, you're going to be in a tough place later down the road. Knowledge not something you can just consume in less than an hour and pass an interview. You have to know it well. If you don't, there's someone else who will.
There's an interesting connotation in life that you're either born super smart or an absolute idiot and that you have to be smart to do computer science / programming. There are people with raw IQ that can consume things like no one you've ever met but, that's such a rarity that there's no realistic use in using that as a data point. If you ever took the time to ask someone who you thought was really good at something, they would tell you something along the lines of: I love what I do and I spent a lot of time doing this. There are hours and hours of time people put into passions that you don't / will never see. Meaning that they can no-life this shit for days on end and still come back and do it some more. It doesn't mean that you can't succeed if don't do that but, computing / programming is a very boring field if you do not enjoy it. I would seriously contemplate why you're going through this. If you're doing it for money and only money, you're going to end up miserable. No amount of money can make you do something you hate. It'll wear you down both mentally and physically. If you're doing this because it's a mix of passion and money, you're like everyone else and you gave yourself a better shot. It's a mental thing. Don't climb uphill if you rather sit at the bottom. Don't complain if you're at the bottom and you rather be at the top. There's nothing wrong with that. But, don't do it. For what it's worth, I am not the smartest person. I graduated high school with a low GPA and took college seriously because I wanted to do more with my life. Plus, being on hourly forever sounds horrible imo. Use the opportunities that life has given to you and run with it. Run far, run smart and run in a direction that you can see yourself going long-term.
Additionally, college is what you make of it. Blaming professors or the program (while I do agree sometimes) is not a solution. Blaming professors that don't speak English is a cop out. If you work in tech, you'll be interacting with a lot of people from other countries. Suck it up. Work with it instead of against it. Professors and TAs can only teach you so much. Classes are meant to give you a taste of what it's like in that domain / space. It's not meant to fix all your issues and show you the way. That's for you to do on your own time. Take accountability of your own success, explore the internet (it's free) and lock in. Stop looking for opportunities to find you. Actively seek them out yourself.

Networking

Make connections with people. I cannot stress how important this is. Especially on the Marietta campus, there's a lot of you that go to class, stingers / food, run to class and immediately start gaming and think that when your classes are over, you're done for the day. That's a bad mindset. Make connections with people. Sit with random people at stingers or wherever. Have a conversation. Find a common interest. Don't harass men / women for a date while you're at it. Keep it cool. A lot of people say "there's nothing to do at KSU and there's no life on campus". That's not true at all. It's true if you choose to put your head in a box and refuse to look up. Join a club that interests you. Get close to the people in that club who actively attend and build a personal relationship. If there's no club with your interest, make a club. Fuck it, lead one. You can make one officially through KSU or add a discord server to the student hub and go from there. You'll meet some really cool like-minded people. Lots of my connections have come from randomly showing up to a club, getting out of my comfort zone and weirdly enjoying it.

Interviewing

Brush up on your interview skills. Technical and behavioral abilities matter. Culture fit matters. A lot of you seem to walk around with almost zero personal hygiene. Clean yourself up, practice talking to people and get places. There's been this stigma that culture fit doesn't matter as much as technical and if I have great technical abilities, they'll just accept me. I can tell you for an absolutely fact that I have thrown out / tossed out resumes from highly technical individuals that had zero people skills. If you can't communicate and clean up, you're more of a risk than someone who does all those things and has a bit less technical ability. I can teach someone how to code. I can't teach someone how to take a shower or brush their teeth. Know more than just Leetcode. Learn system design. Take a course / watch a video on Linux and bash. Do not be afraid of the command line interface. Understand how things work at a deeper level. Take feedback seriously. Do not argue with people. If you future manager / colleague tells you that you need to work on things, work on those things. There's nothing worse than a co-worker in denial.

Jobs

As for internships and full time opportunities, there's a few classes at KSU that you really want to master: Data structures, Algorithm Analysis, Operating Systems and Discrete math. If you're in a major that doesn't have those classes, spend the extra money and take those classes. Do not take them online if you can afford to come in person. Take the hardest / best professors for those courses. Super important. Leetcode is quite literally, those classes merged together in a prompt-style format. If you do not understand those concepts, you will not make it in this field let alone pass an interview loop.
Data Structures - Varies. Rate my professor.
Algorithm Analysis - Varies. Rate my professor.
Operating Systems - Do not take Carla McManus if you want to learn the concepts fluently.
Discrete Math - Andy Wilson.
Having solid resume is super important. Many people who don't secure things and get automatically rejected, etc have horrible resumes. Spend the money (it's a lot) to get your resume professionally written. It's worth it. Invest in your long term career aspirations. Templates are cool but, they don't convey information well and come across as lazy. Don't put every achievement ever on there. I don't want to see a wall of text. No, I don't care if you're a Boy Scout. No, I don't care if you bussed tables in high school. You get the point. The rule of "only one page" is complete and total bullshit. If you have projects and prior work experience related to the role, list it down. Don't conserve space for the sake of keeping it one page. You're limiting yourself. I know the career center actively tells people on handshake to keep it to one page. They're wrong. I landed internships & full time roles consistently at big tech / FAANG for years with a 1.5 / 2 page resume. Do not lie on your resume. If you can't solve a leetcode hard consistently with the technology / language of choice, you don't know it well enough. I have interviewed a ton of students and people that list they know C or Python and can't write recursion or gives me a solution in O(N^2) or worse. Aim for O(N), use a hashmap / hash table when you can and do it in a language that doesn't make you fight the runtime / compiler. Trust me, we know when you're making shit up. If you don't know something say it and then, tell them to explain more. This way, you show that you have the capability to learn. Ask smart questions. Do not ask questions that have already been answered. Take notes.
On your resume, experience is only real experience if you get a W2. If you don't get a W2, you can't claim it as professional experience. A lot of background checks these days are drilling down on incorrect information. I have seen instances where people lie, get an offer, company finds out through a comprehensive background check and their offer is gone. Do not put the fate of your future income on a lie. I cannot stress this enough. A lot of students and people actively lie.
Secondly, the trick to getting a good internship is timing. A lot of you wait until Nov - Dec to find an internship and then, throw your hands up when no one responds. That's not a good mindset. Solid internships are recruiting in end of July to August. By September, the amount of open spots are extremely thin. Local companies tend to look for internships during this time. Internships are about luck after that. Reach out to people in your circle to increase your odds. A referral goes a long way. Prior experience through projects that are complex and unique go a long way. It's a numbers game. Don't aim for the highest thing ever without some sort of referral. You can still apply but, do not expect much from it. Start small and work your way up. It's extremely rare to go from KSU undergrad sophomore to Google. It takes a lot of outside work. If you happen to land the internship, make sure that you get recommendations at the end. Having real people who you worked with in a professional capacity that can vouch for you is huge. If you're in your junior year and you get an internship, make sure you try to secure a full time offer. Loop in your boss, mentor, etc. Make your expectations clear. Reach their expectations and beyond.
Thirdly, full time opportunities are rare and most new grads that get hired come from the previous year's intern pool. If you don't get converted, you have to make up that time searching for a job during your senior year. If you do get converted, keep looking because companies are flaky these days. Always have a Plan B & C. Never fully count on Plan A. If you don't have internships across four years, it's over for you. From a hiring manager perspective, it's an absolute red flag when we come across someone with a degree and no internships. That's effectively going against the point of college. You'll have to settle for crumbs and crawl your way up. Very few make it out of that hole. The bar is significantly higher. Especially, now.

Searching for an Opportunity

Do not wait until after you graduate to find a job. Jan - Early May are when most companies finalize budgets and hire. If you wait until after May, you'll might have to wait until after the Summer and possibly, October for hiring to pick up again. Proactivity is nothing but good for you. If you can't be proactive then, you won't succeed in this field. Referrals matter but, personal connections with the hiring manager / recruiter are much, much better. Work your way up. Don't discount an opportunity because it doesn't pay well. Get as much experience as you can and bounce around. Do not go into the gate thinking you're going to make $120K - $140K / yr out the gate. You're most-likely going to make $68K - $75K / yr depending on the location. Do not listen to LinkedIn posts that claim all this cool shit and how to do it. Trust me, it's bullshit. Don't pay attention to it. It's a brag-fest. It's a long road. Start walking on it early and you'll reach the other side when it matters most. Trust in it.
The reality of this economy is that highly experience people have been laid off. Those people are applying to entry level roles and those roles are being filled for cheap. In addition, watch out for fake postings and scam jobs. If you take a contract job, always keep looking. Avoid jobs that will providing "training" before you even start. Avoid jobs that are less than week old. You want things that are fresh. It's a numbers game. Apply for 300+ jobs every week until you get a response back. Don't be discouraged by employers who don't respond or ghost you. Keep at it. It's a mental game.

Conclusion

I think if you do these things, you'll end up at a great spot after four years. If you're just now coming across this and you've been slacking, use this an opportunity to wake the fuck up, light a fire under your ass and lock in. If you're still in denial after reading this post and you have yet to get anything, light a fire under your ass, come to terms with it and lock in.
If you're in it to do zero work, cheat on your classes, mess around for four years and somehow wing a high salary or a job in this field, good luck. You're fucked. You're so fucked, in-fact, that you'll be wondering "why me and why is it so hard" for a long ass time. Don't be that person.

Cool Resources

Git - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CvUiKWv2-C0
Github (use this as your portfolio; web devs should make an actual clean website) - https://github.com
Github Student Pack (tons of free resources) - https://education.github.com/pack
Linux Handbook - https://linuxhandbook.com/ Linux Quickguide - https://github.com/mikeroyal/Linux-Guide
Lots of subreddits geared around linux and programming. Great resources to find.
Understand: Kernel Space vs. User Space, Memory Allocation / Deallocation, Bitwise Operations, Memory blocks, processes and threads, context switching
System Design Primer - https://github.com/donnemartin/system-design-primer
Understand: Monolith vs. Micro-services, Tradeoffs between different approaches, Vertical vs. Horizontal Scaling, Load Balancers, Buckets, Data lakes, CI / CD Pipelines, Data Clusters, Client-Server Architecture, Synchronous vs. Asynchronous Context: System design is like a giant puzzle that has many forms. Create a basic design. It won't be perfect. Mix-and-match different services and know why, how and tradeoffs between each approach.
Programming language is dependent on the role and what the company favors. Common ones are Java, C++, Python, C#, JavaScript / TypeScript and C. You can look at jobs that you would like to work someday, look at the requirements and use that as a basis on where to start learning. Things constantly change. Fundamentals build up on each other. Start small. Work your way up. Do not dream big. Dream realistic. Everyone is different.

In my current EA position, I’m tasked with taking 6 hours of minutes twice a month for another executive and his department. Firstly, 6 hours is horrendous (lucky to get a 10 min break). I usually have no knowledge of what is discussed, as I don’t work for the department and am not across their area.
Also, they don’t follow the agenda, invite random presenters without updating me and then today I receive this reply email feedback from the executive on my minutes:
Generally I’d say Ok for what you have written. This section I didn’t say mandatory, I said upright in goal setting is mandatory. Also, delete this line here, that was certainly not what was said.
I’m fuming! Feel like telling him to jam it and find someone else to record his team ramble for 6 hours. 🤬

Throwaway for privacy. Crossposted to the Canadian FI sub.
Early 30s, M/HCOL location. Single and expect to stay that way indefinitely. Do not want kids.
Goal: Open an art studio and work at least part time making art indefinitely. I've made art and sold it since I was a kid, otherwise I'd drown in my own stuff. I get more requests than I can fill currently, and I've consistently grossed 6-10k the last few years on the side with minimal/moderate effort from freelance contracts, product sales, and teaching, all while also working full time, moving multiple times, job changes, gaining and losing studio space, volunteering, staying active, etc. I'm starting to burn out doing it all at the same time for years now however, and it's affecting my mental and consequently physical health.
Current employment: My current work structure/colleagues/management leave a lot to be desired and the work can be both very boring, political, chaotic and stressful at times, with high staff turnover, but I've worked in worse places overall. The pay is about 30% over what I could get at any other employer locally on top of great vacation and benefits which kind of makes up for it? The industry in general sucks and is not helping the burnout situation.
Why now (or in the next year or so) vs. full FIRE or at least a fatter coast while the money is flowing? The main person who runs an arts program/business in my community is retiring soon and has expressed wanting an apprentice for some of his contracts. He doesn't make a lot, but he's been doing it for 30 years, raised 3 kids while divorced on it, and goes to Mexico for a month every year. It seems like a fantastic opportunity to inherit a developed client base, possibly buy cheap materials/equipment, and general support to launch into the next phase.
My original, "5 year plan," was to shovel any money free after filling registered accounts into the mortgage so the value at renewal in 3 years is very low and then either fully pay it off or extend the amortization period depending on rates/life at that point. The idea being to reduce cash flow requirements to as minimal as possible before leaving my current employment vs. possibly having to pull down on investments for a year or two to bridge the gap, but functionally I'm not sure it makes a huge difference if you looked at market return vs. debt payoff over time, plus hopefully still adding to the stash here and there in the future.
My current employment as is is not tenable for 3 more years, but there are lots of other possible options such as finding another job that doesn't suck nearly as much energy and lets me break even on expenses for those 3 years. There is a small chance I could move to part time in my current role, but it depends on things mostly out of my control. I've planted the seed with another friend/possible employer about mutually beneficial contract work with them, to float a few years between now and 100% art, but that's also in the end up to them.
Question: If you were me, how comfortable would you feel leaving the golden handcuffs in roughly a year to work your ass off on something you've always wanted, but are also scared it will be a terrible choice to go into a "non-essential" field while the environment and consequently society starts to collapse around us? That last point makes me feel like YOLO and max conservatism are both very valid in different ways.
Financials:
~100k job income + 5% DB Pension matching
135k - Mortgage debt at 5.3%
Mortgage payments of ~23k/yr,
Comfortable living expenses without mortgage and including tax burden = 35k/yr = FT minimum wage = 875k FIRE number. In a worst case I could cut a vacation and get a roommate.
40k- Pension contributions incl. match
60k- HYSA/GIC
340k- RRSP, TFSA, Margin in ETFs
=440K NW, nic home equity
I know to not bank on this, but there is a high likelihood of a significant inheritance in roughly 25 years in the million + bracket. I should be fully FI before this point, however I also fully believe we will be dealing with global watefood wars and climate migration crisis before then.

Just recently got a new job. I had been looking for over a year, and it's the first opportunity presented to me. I'm now only 2 days in and all I can think is I wish I never saw the email and was still jobless..
Trying to finish my AA so I can raise my GPA and pursue a bachelor's and even masters possibly close to full time. However I am low on money because I had not worked since 2022.
I was very overweight and had extreme mental issues. I fixed a lot of the physical stuff, and mental stuff has got slightly better do to bettering my life style and some medical diagnosis, but still not great.
I needed money though. What little I had is all but gone, and my mom has been letting me live at home for free. I spent what little I had on classes, and even then it was not enough for my last spring semester and the current summer one. My mom also assisted with those too.
I feel like such a a freeloader because I was not providing any money to myself, nor her and she was letting me live here for free and eat her groceries. It disgusted me, but I was in such a rough position working a job was impossible for me.
Now I got this new job. Working in IT for a college specializing in Dental medicine, and I am only 2 days in and hate it. Now a huge reason is because of 2 things outside of the job, and both sort of affecting each other.
1.) my exercise routine. I was biking 100 miles a week and working out 4 days a week on a very religious schedule, and seeing great results. My body fat percent was going down wonderfully, and I felt amazing health wise. Now I cannot do that unless I want to sleep less than 8 hours a night, which is already hard for me to get, especially because of my extreme anxiety and depressive issues. 2.) school. I am still 21 credit hours away from finishing my AA. I am currently taking pre calc, math being a subject I am very not good at, and I have almost no time to do it. I come home from work, and immediately heat up food and sit down to try and get in a lecture and finish homework, and I barely get it done. I have no time to workout or ride my bike or any exercise after work because it takes me all of my time to heat up dinner, prepare lunch for the next day, clean what needs cleaned, shower and do all the pre calc that needs done.
I am terrified the mental progress I have made is going out the door, as well as the physical fitness, and I'm scared I will fail precalculus lowering my GPA and forcing me to retake it. (Also wasting 500 bucks).
On top of all of that, the job has been nuts. I am 2 days in, and already my entire department seems to hate life. The IT director constantly jokes about firing people and us, all the people underneath him talk shit about each other, there is 0 onboarding process for a new hire, and I'm already doing so many projects I have had to skip lunch, and then get asked by 5 different hr people why I skipped lunch. They tell me to stay and do work and then ask me why I'm still here. I am also being told that as an hourly employee only supposed to work Monday through Friday, that June 2nd I have to work all day Sunday for the students graduation even though I have an exam due that night. So not only am I just out of the blue being forced to work a 6th day that week, but I have to come home and immediately take a pre calc test I will most likely be barley prepared for.
My mom tells me " if you think you need tutoring you should do it" like when the hell am I supposed to have time for that ?? I don't even have time to do anything else.
This is the first week on the job, I will be lucky if I finish all of my homework before Friday when it's do, and even then, I have an exam this Sunday already and will probably have to spend the entire day Saturday and Sunday preparing for it, and skip any chance and physical exercise, or spend time exercising and risk having to stay up all night and being under prepared.
My anxiety is through the fucking roof. I used to have panic attacks constantly, and luckily I have not reached that point, but I feel like my blood pressure is so high that my veins are about to Burst.
I mean I'm 2 fucking days in... How am I supposed to do this for the rest of precalculus. I mean honestly if I make it through this class and pass it I don't think any other class will lose a threat, but it's just insane...
Idk how people do this. I don't get why our society makes it impossible for people to find a job and work hard and have that job make time for school. I have to deal with corporate ass holes who want me to work to the bone just so I can afford to fail my classes... Like what the fuck.
I felt horrible being in the situation I was in not providing any money to myself or my mom... But fuck I want to literally blow my brains out now. Maybe it will get more relaxed, but I can't see that happening whatsoever until I get deeper into precalculus and see if i will even pass it ..
I have 0 people to count on too. No one is supportive whatsoever. No one to hug, or get reassurance from. My mom just says this is how it is and doesn't care. I can't talk to a therapist because anytime I say anything more than I'm sad they want to lock me in a psych ward because no one gives a rats ass about mental health in Florida, or America. I have no friends in real life within 500 miles of me. It's just me.
Idk what to do. Idk what to believe in. Idk how to calm myself, or cope. I can't do any of the things that we're making my life better.
The one thing I have still going strong is diet. I also wake up with enough time before work to at least go on a quick jog before I get ready and leave, but it isn't enough.
I feel like If I can't find some sort of relief or balance I'm going to be right back to crying and panic attacks In the bathroom in a matter of weeks.
I honestly hate life. I wish I could go back to younger me and tell him to sweat blood trying to get into a university with full scholarships so I could pursue The education I dream of full time and find a job I truly enjoy. That is still my long term goal, but I feel like I'm killing myself to get there.
I know so many people do stuff like this and make it though, but so all of those people have decades of issues with major anxiety and depression? Have they all thought about suicide since they were 13 ?
Maybe they have, but for fucks sakes if they have can they at least hug me or just reassure me everything will be okay ???
Because life is very difficult right now.
Also I typed this on my phone, so if some words seem out of place, I probably missed a letter here or there and phone auto corrected.

Hey there! My name is Jonathan. I made a post a couple weeks ago that didn't get any attention so I'm giving it a second shot. I'm hoping to find someone I can chat with and get to know with the hope that we could make something special between us.
A quick bio of me: I am a 6 foot tall white guy with blonde hair and hazel eyes. My hair is pretty short and I have a scruffy beard. Oh, and I wear glasses because I am basically blind. I can share a photo if you ask. I have my bachelor's in health sciences and I currently work as a physical therapy technician with the goal to get into a physical therapy assistant program. I work full time so I'm pretty busy, but in my free time I like to play video games, watch TV, and play card games. I also enjoy cooking and trying new recipes. I also like traveling and visiting new places. I like museums, zoos, aquariums, theme parks, and nature parks.
What I'm searching for: someone nice and funny who enjoys life but takes it seriously when they need to. I'd prefer dating someone 21+, but otherwise I don't have age preferences. If you're older than me, that's okay. What matters is the attraction (physical and mental). Speaking of attraction, I don't have any specific features I'm attracted to. I think everyone is beautiful in their own way. I'm also not worried about distance. I'd prefer you be from the United States because that's just easier, but I'm open to dating internationally as well.
If I interest you, send me a chat with a short introduction of yourself and tell me what your favorite show was growing up.

Throwaway because my abuser stalks my Reddit account.
I grew up in a very dysfunctional, low income, no parents around for the first 10ish years of my life, raised by my siblings or by the streets, environment. No dad, no guidance from my mom for the first 10 years, a lot of trauma mixed in.
Fast forward to high school. I’m like any other teen by trying to fit in, being social, etc, and also like a teen with cptsd, by trying to get validation to know I’m worthy human, people pleasing and being used for my homework/smarts because I just want to be accepted, sexual promiscuity, etc.
Unfortunately when I was 15, I met my abusegroomecurrent husband. He was my “Spanish” teacher in high school. (Subject changed for privacy). When I turned 16 we began our “relationship”. He was 26. I finally had a stable male role model who told me I’m interesting, smart, worthy, beautiful, etc.
Like come on, it was perfect bait for a troubled soul such as myself.
Of course, I did anything and everything he’s wanted. I didn’t want to lose my mentolovestability. I never had a good role model for relationships, so he pretty much taught me what is normal for a relationship. Spoiler: it wasn’t normal.
Long story short, I’ve grown up and to my horror, I’ve realized that I’ve been groomed and manipulated, and I’ve realized WHY. I had no idea I had issues. Everyone told me how smart mature and intelligent I was. Why would I ever doubt my own judgement?
Now I’ve been beaten down to the lowest point I’ve ever been, and it feels like surviving another day is a battle I’m slowly losing. My mental state has always been on the verge of a breakdown, but I’m at 99% critical now. I’m a stay at home mom to two toddlers and my husband ends me nasty emails all day, making me spiral and want to cry and scream into a pillow for 3 days straight but I can’t because I have to be positive and not scary for my kids and the guilt of lashing out in front of them is even greater than my regular mental turmoil.
I don’t feel strong enough to conquer the huge task of finding a job after 4 years of unemployment ( I quit my career to follow my husband across the country away from all my friends and family, so that I could be a stay at home mom).
I need to work on my resume.
I need to accept that I won’t be able to be there for my kids while they’re growing and developing (side note: is anyone extremely sentimental about their kids milestones and experiences in life? I was a kid who literally no one checked for or cared about or cared to see my milestones or anything. I wonder if I am over correcting that from my childhood).
I need to accept that after 14 years with my abuser, I can actually start life over and be an adult the way I want to be, not the way my authoritative, controlling husband wants me to be.
But mostly it’s the fact that I won’t spend every waking hour with my babies anymore 😭😭😭 like my heart races and my stomach churns when I even think about it.
I’ve been putting off getting a job because I’m so afraid to face the mental stressors that come with finding a job (working on my resume, figuring out how to explain my gap in employment, figuring out it if I want to work remotely so that I can be with my kids as much as possible), and not being with my babies.
I’ve typed too much. I’m just at my wits end and I don’t know what else to do. I know what I NEED to do, but the fear and anxiety and complete loss of control over my situation has paralyzed me. My husband recently stopped paying my student loans and credit cards and tanked my credit to 540. This is because I’ve been “abandoning my responsibilities” by taking time to go upstairs to work on finding a job, while leaving him with our two toddlers who have already been fed and are occupied with tv/toys, which I made sure of. He doesn’t want to cook, clean, or take care of the kids, and is punishing me for telling him I expect him to help.
Maybe someone has been in a similar situation and has gotten out? How did you do it on top of the struggles of cptsd? Like it almost feels impossible to get through this?

Full disclosure: I'm not exactly asking this question in good faith. I mean for this question to sound completely absurd on its face to see how folks deal with it. But I'm 100% open to learning a new perspective
Background: Singapore has arguably the highest quality of life of any country on the planet by most objective metrics. It blows most countries out of the water on per capita gdp, foreign direct investment, education, crime, public order, etc. drug addiction rates are no exception. While drug addiction rates continue to explode across the developed world, singapore's rate of one-time illicit drug use in the last year is 0.7-1.9% apparently. This is comically impressive.
Singapore is not exactly a libertarian paradise though. they especially don't fuck around with respect to drugs. Singapore routinely executes drug traffickers and imposes strict penalties for illicit drug uses.
So I put it to you: why should Singapore abolish its policy on drugs? More facetiously, should incredibly clean and healthy singapore become more like...er...the tenderloin in San Francisco?

The CEO of YouTube wrote an editorial in The Hollywood Reporter saying that YouTube creators should be considered for Emmys because there is TV-quality content on YouTube:

You might not expect MrBeast to stand on the same stage as Jeremy Allen White. But if you think creators are just recording vlogs from their bedrooms, then I have some big news. Creators have writers’ rooms, production teams, and business strategies. They’re developing programming that’s not just popular and relevant – it’s breaking boundaries.

Everyone has been mad for weeks at Steven, Ryan, and Shane for their commitment to television-caliber content, but maybe it's also the goal of YouTube's executive board. This editorial really caught me by surprise considering the past few weeks: https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/tv/tv-news/youtube-ceo-emmys-creators-1235893700
What do you guys think?

• Species: house cat • Age: 4 • Sex/Neuter status: female, neutered • Breed: European short haimixed • Body weight: 7kg • History: adopted at 4 months old from an animal welfare • Clinical signs: bloody soft stool, poos on carpet/bed/bathmat but also still uses litter box, she has tartar on her teeth and inflammation and her gums • Duration: over a year already • Your general location: Germany • Links to test results, vet reports, X-rays etc.
Hello everyone, thank you in advance! Our eldest (let’s call her A) developed a habit about a year ago where she started to poop on our bath mats, these escalated to the carpet and then unfortunately to one of our beds (it’s always the same bed). The poop is nearly always bloody in varying degrees. We saw several vets already but all seemed to not be sure what it could be. She also has inflammation on her gums and tartar on her teeth. We don’t know if it’s connected. We had to cancel/reschedule every dental restoration appointment for her since the vets didn’t put her under barcode while she still had blood in her poop. We don’t know any family history of diseases since she was found(?) by the sanctuary and she seems to be a mix of unknown breeds but definitely European short hair. She is very large and muscular but not chubby or overweight. The test and measurements the vets have taken so far are: 2x blood test 2x stool test Ultrasound Hypoallergenic Food: (Royal Canine dry food and concept kangaroo wet food) Special digestion food ( Hill‘s i/d) And right now: hypoallergenic food ( hill‘s z/d)
So far nothing has helped at all and unfortunately the problem is escalating more and more. While at the beginning she only pooped bloody on the carpet once a week she now poops bloody several times a day outside of the litter box and also pees on the same areas. She also still uses the litter boxes regularly.
We have three cats. A, then P (female/4) who we adopted together since they were best friends at the animal shelter, and M (male/1) who we got summer last year. They are all neutered and strictly inside cats only. They do have access to a gated balcony when the weather is warm.
I am really scared that something is extremely wrong with A and we will find out when it’s too late. We love her so much and the thought of her being in pain is just too much.
A is a extremely smart and sensitive cat and at the same time very stubborn so giving her medication is always a huge ordeal. She is the matriarch of the little herd she has here. She always licks the heads of the other two and very patient with all of us. She usually gets some of my food when it’s cat safe (unseasoned meat) or we cook her different meats (chicken, salmon, beef) as a little extra treat. Maybe that might have been a problem?We didn’t do that since we had to start the food regiment and it still didn’t help.
I don’t know how to upload pictures here but there were tiny white dots in her poop just an hour ago.
Thank you so much in advance!