Guanaria pictures symptoms

I've been really struggling with anxiety and just not wanting to do anything or see anyone. Your classic depression burnout type symptoms. A lot of weight has come off because I'm just not eating, because I forgot or I was too stressed.
Accidentally on purpose stay dehydrated so I don't have to pee, because if I stop working It'll take forever to get back into it and sometimes I can't.
I can go on and on, but you get the picture. I've stopped drinking alcohol a few months ago, have been put on meds for my anxiety and am seeing a private therapist. Forcing myself to be a bit more active and leaving the house at least once a day. (I work from home)
So I've been feeling like "great, I'm doing all the things to help myself. Now we just wait and I'll love my job again and I'll be good at it again"
But I think Ive realised I really hate my job at its core. I love the salary and the flexibility of the work hours, but hitting quota and having so many uncontrollable factors to deal with is just exhausting and I can't see myself doing this for the rest of my life.
Here's the thing, at the end of this month I will most likely be put on a PIP. I've been preparing myself for it because I've had some time off to deal with my spicy mental health. I was ready and willing to put in the hard work and crush it and win everything.
Until it hit me tonight that I do not want to do this for the rest of my life.
BUT! Am I just thinking this because it's hard and I want to give up? What if I work harder and earn my spot and all that, which thoughts are the right ones?
I guess I am asking for an outside perspective because what I want to do is quit my job and go deal with my mental health and find a different career or at least not at the high level I'm at at the moment. But it feels like running away from responsibility at work and giving up on a good salary and possibly having to go university to learn a new career.
Thanks for reading!
EDIT: One weird sentence fixed

Y'all had asked that I touch base after my recent reinfection. Here's that initial post, along with some thoughts after I hit 2.5 years last week: https://www.reddit.com/covidlonghaulers/comments/1azre3n/almost_two_years_late
This acute infection itself was actually super mild, felt like run-of-the-mill cold. This was my second, could have been third time with it. Start to stop was ~8 days. I started Metformin the second day and ran that for 2 weeks at 1500 mg daily (split into three doses). I chose not to take paxlovid as part of me thinks I'm in this boat in part due to Pfizer products. My choice, to each their own, no judgment on anyone for how they choose to live their life.
I've had a myriad of symptoms over the last 2.5 years with multiple hospital visits, soul-crushing fatigue, PEM, RLS, sleep issues, brain fog (which is putting it mildly, feels more like being in a constant state of standing up too fast and wanting to pass out the more you are engaging your brain in conversation/processing), vertigo, what I call "heart pulses" which felt like my heart would beat once very hard wanting to leave the chat with the rest of my body, visual issues (light sens, little dots), GI, you get the picture, probably similar to yours. The chief complaints and persisting issues today are brain fog, vertigo and fatigue.
Initially, after this recent infection, my three remaining symptoms (fog, vertigo and fatigue) came back worse than before. Thankfully, they have abated over the past 2 months and I feel confident in saying that I'm better than I was before. If I had to put a number to it, I'm probably sitting at a 90% recovered.
Here's what's helped me and what I recommend for others. I've tried so much out there and I'm sticking with what's worked for me. In order:

1. Trazodone - Sleep cannot be understated here. Poor sleep will postpone recovery.
   
2. LDN - I started at 0.5mg and worked up to 6mg. https://agelessrx.com/ is my plug and their providers have a better understanding of what this is, won't gaslight you, and you don't have to navigate the american medical system to get a script.
   
3. Nicotine - 24 hour patch, started by cutting a 7 mg patch in half to get used to it and now at 7 mg every morning. This helped immensely with neuro issues and I got back the feeling of enjoying things and felt emotionally engaged again.
   
4. Zinc - Once I started taking this, I stopped getting sick every 6-8 weeks. That was life from the initial onset of this mess for a constant 2 years.
   
5. Natto/serra - Doctor's Best, 1 in the am taken an hour before anything else.
   

Not a supplement, but I saw someone post an excel list here a ways back that tracks symptoms by the month. I started doing this, creating a list of my own, and while you have some months that go backwards, this does help with motivation and show progress, sometimes utterly slow, but still moving forward.
Like everyone else here, I've read countless studies and trials of where the research is and where it's heading. Going forward, for me, I will be looking to monoclonals and possibly BC007, peptides and some antivirals (not paxlovid) to get out of this hell once and for all. Michael Peluso, MD is a doc out of UCSF and I think the trial he's leading will yield some positive results. Link here: https://clinicaltrials.ucsf.edu/trial/NCT05877508
My line is open to anyone at all. I have been in most of your shoes, and for those that have it worse than I did, my heart truly goes out to you. Stay positive, the worst is behind us. There's a better version of you waiting on the other side of this storm :)

TLDR: just learned there's a word for my intense feelings and anxiety, want to know if there are women who suffer this and actually had to experience pregnancy
I guess I can control it somewhat. Because usually I'm ok because I have to be. I've never been pregnant before. I'm very early on and my first appointment is tomorrow. I've been struggling mentally since I found out, because of the instability of my current relationship and many, many other things. One thing that actually nearly makes me puke, is sitting thinking about all the things going on in my body. What's growing inside me. I almost feel physically repulsed, it turns my stomach. I love kids and I've always wanted them, but I've always had an extreme fear and almost repulsion around being pregnant and giving birth. I want to enjoy it but I'm scared that if I feel this way so early it may only become more difficult. I sit and picture my insides and my uterus because I have this general feeling of like fullness, or heaviness in my uterus and entire internal reproductive organs in my lower abdomen. It's like what's making me feel so bloated partly I swear to God. Because it's not when I'm full it's just on and off and I become hyper aware of it sometimes and it gives me literal panic attacks. Also heart palpitations and lots of other shitty symptoms and I'm horrified and scared to be stuck in this situation. I want it and am excited I guess sometimes but the other times I feel so anxious I can't breath just thinking about everything.anyone else on this sub gone through pregnancy and had to cope? Pls, I felt horrible when I first realized how I was feeling.. I used the word disgusted and it sounds so harsh, but I kind of truly feel that way.. not about the small human, just the process.

https://www.reddit.com/Christianity/comments/whtqtv/need_a_miracle/
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I’m not sure if anyone here is familiar with morphic fields and subliminals on YouTube A morphic field is an energetically programmed audio that is supposed to be able to make changes to your body/mind…subliminals can do the same, but they are just messages/affirmations repeated over a period of time until they impress a belief into your subconscious mind. In, 2018 I started listening to this YouTube channel named mind power. She would later be exposed for intentionally using harmful affirmations in her subliminal audios…I used her her “get 3b curly hair video” and some others, but the curly hair video is the only video I got results from.
After using her subliminals…like 4/5 months after, my life came crashing down on me. It’s a long story, so I want to keep it short, but basically I started to have a lot of problems around my physical and mental health. Some pretty serious problems…the worst involving my skull. I don’t know yet if it’s just my perception or it’s actually happening, but my skull has appeared to have shrunk…it isn’t the same size/shape that I remember it being in early, 2018. Even looking at before and after pictures, it’s very obvious the skull has shrunk. Here recently in, 2022 I listened to something called a “subliminal flush”…a subliminal flush is like a bath for your subconscious mind. It’s removes negativity. Flushes are supposed to remove affirmations that are harmful from the subconscious. This flush seemed to be working and as crazy as it sounds, my skull shape was going back to normal. But eventually the flush stopped working and now my skull…whether it’s my perception, the skull itself, or the muscles/fat around my skull is shrinking…and it’s getting worse by the day. Everyday I wake up, it seems to have changed.
I also have memory problems, weird visual disturbances, and some other cognitive problems, but don’t know if that’s the result of her subliminals or this other creator I listened to around the time I started to use that “subliminal flush” the other creators name is, Sapien medicne…he creates the morphic fields I was talking about (energetically programmed audios) their was a night and day difference in the way I felt after using him…I started to feel outside of my own body, walking into things around my house, balance problems, and other cognitive changes. He has a forum and the people their preach that we are all god and create our own reality by the thoughts that we think…basically the law of attraction, they talk about Christ consciousness, and a bunch of other new age teachings. I wanted to know if anyone here has had a similar experience and through salvation, prayer, and faith in Jesus’s ability to heal people, have been able to heal themselves. I’ve tried everything…and everything I’ve tried has to do with the new age. Manifestation, meditation, health subliminals, connection with my “higher self” mandalas, etc. and at this point, I’m tried…I’m tired of trying to solve the issue myself, because it isn’t working. I’ve found other people going through something similar and they can’t find a solution either. I was just wondering whether or not I should keep looking for a solution or put my phone down and have 100% faith that Jesus can heal me? I seriously need this healing, because my symptoms seem to be getting worse by the day and I’ve already lost 4 years of my life, I can’t afford to lose anymore. Thank you

F20 I’m writing this for anybody who may b experiencing anything remotely similar to what I did because these last few months have been extremely fucking rough for me, and if I can help one person feel less alone it’s worth it.
I started fearing I had herpes Dec 2023. I was raped by a now ex boyfriend and he’s the only “sexual partner” whose status I was unaware of.
This scared me because he didn’t use a condom and I’m very diligent when it comes to my health, regular condom use, and I’ve always made my exes show me their results as it’s very typical that men will never get tested unless they experience SEVERE symptoms.
I never planned to have intercourse with him at that time, so this just threw me for a loop as everything was very unplanned. No knowledge of his status, no condom, no consent.
I experienced immediate issues during the act, I’ve never had lubrication issues EVER, quite the opposite (tmi ik but I want to give perspective of the immediate sexual changes that followed) but this time I was DRY like sandpaper rubbing inside me ugh I was so uncomfortable, and I’m really sorry and I want to hug anyone who knows exactly what I’m talking about. I had never experienced pain like that from intercourse before this, he refused to stop till I was actually screaming and writhing in pain and clawing at him.
I planned to never talk to him again, but not knowing his status was rlly eating at me, I asked him if he had ever got tested before and he told me no.
INSTANT PANIC
My vagina did not feel the same from that point onward. I was sore and swollen for a few days after, I later went to a clinic to get an STI full panel test (ik that’s too soon, but understand I was in a haze of confusion I was trying to do damage control) The results for that initial test came back completely negative.
I had a crawling sensation on my mons pubis and labia area as if something was moving through the hairs, I also felt like the hairs were moving themselves. I started being itchy all the fucking time, it was all I could think about, I didn’t get a break from it, my lower region was so uncomfortable and all these sensations were so foreign to me. I also would get very dry, like uncomfortable as fuck, this was also new, I couldn’t stand my panties rubbing against me, or even the skin touching itself or AIR. I would literally have to put a wad of wet toilet paper for a tiny bit of relief but nothing could relieve me mentally. I also would slather Vaseline all over my lower region for the tiniest bit of relief. At this point I was waiting for the 6 week mark so I couldn’t get retested literally counting down the days. One night I went out for drinks w my friends ( I don’t drink normally) and my vagina was on FIRE like itching burning all of it, not the lil scratchy dry I was feeling before. I was starting considering maybe I had a yeast infection, I had only ever had one before this (not diagnosed by a doctor) and I treated it w canesten so I ran to Walmart to get a tube and didn’t even wait till I got home, I used their washroom and slathered it all over me. I remembered the first time I had done this for my previous presumed yeast infection I felt some sort of immediate relief, but this time I did not. On my way home I was antsy and squirming in my seat, nothing was comfortable, sitting, standing, lying down.
I tried using the canesten for a couple days following but it just seemed useless, crawling sensation was still there and now I was feeling this popping sensation. Like the skin of my labia were sticking together cause of moisture then spreading apart and creating kind of like a pop, that’s the best way I can describe it idk. I hated leaving the house because I felt like I constantly had my hands down my pants to scratch or literally cupping my vagina, adding pressure, applying Vaseline, whatever I thought could bring relief. I started to notice bumps. This is when my STI research rabbit hole really took off. Initially they started on my pubic area, I assumed they were pimples or even boils but I have had pimples in my pubic area before and they either had a yellow top or a white head, these were shiny hard bumps that definitely looked like blisters. They would come and go…in the same spots. Some of them I would squeeze out of frustration and thick blood OR white or clear fluid would run out. Of course there were concerns coupled with the sensations but initially I wasn’t assuming these bumps were coming from any STIs (specifically herpes) because they were on my mons pubis and my research told me me that herpes likes to live in most areas although it was possible. I wanted to book with my family doctor, but honestly I was so scared because I was ashamed plus my doctor is a male and the icing on the cake was the receptionist are fucking rude pricks, one of them I knew their daughter (I hate that bitch) and I wasn’t willing to willingly open a potentially awkward ass situation like that.
Now I had sores to add to my symptoms, like raw skin on my labia, the hood of my clit and yes they burned and hurt but mostly when touched faintly when left alone. I was so sure I had herpes, I would be only every subreddit related to herpes, reading my exact symptoms, seeing outbreaks that strongly resembled what I had. I even a few times would post the pics of the sores and would always get a handful of comments telling me that they looked concerning and I should get them swabbed ASAP and a few saying they were nothing concerning. A couple times I had burning pee, but I honestly can’t remember if this was before or after the sores started to appear. I’m a working student who has no car so it’s not rlly the easiest thing for me to find time to go to a walk in and get swabbed and honestly the sores wouldn’t last longer than a week and they mostly seemed to occur right before my period, clear up with it only to appear a few days after. The itching and tingling were almost always there with maybe an occasional day of relief. I would take pics of almost every numb and sore that was irritating so I could bring to my appointments, at the 6 week mark, I tested again at the same walk in and everything was negative, I showed the doctor the pics I took and she said they don’t look like anything concerning as in herpes. Every time I got a chance to go to the doctor it would always be when I didn’t have a sore which was really unfortunate
Doctors rlly operate off their OPINIONS so I booked an appt w my university clinic and unfortunately, again, I had no sores to swab and I just had my red sores and bump pictures to show and my symptoms. This doctor was male so I won’t necessarily say I held him opinion in low regard but he almost seemed like uncomfortable? Idk
When I say I convinced myself I had herpes in telling u I was doing everything, lysine, diet changes, all of it. My symptoms and sores/bumps were soooooo fucking similar to everything I was seeing. Nothing rlly was alleviating my turmoil long term so I rlly thought I was one of those ppl who just had a bad case.
At this point I had sworn off sex, I was going to go celibate and never date for the rest of my life and was rlly working towards just making myself as comfortable as possible, scanning subreddits for advice, literally doing everything ever recommended with rlly not much luck. I was rlly hanging on to the “it gets better” that everyone was swearing by.
Over the months I’ve debated texting him and asking him to actually get tested just so I’m aware of his status but I literally can’t because there’s a no contact order unless there’s a lawyer involved, although this order applies to him, I believe I can’t initiate contact because him responding would equal him breaking the order (I reported the rape).
I spent my birthday crying and scratching and sleeping cause that was the only time I wasn’t thinking about it.
I tried everything, no underwear, loose clothing, changing soaps, more water, more exercise, more sleep, no stress (lol this was impossible), no certain foods, EVRYTHINGGGG, by now I had the nerve pain, the shocks, the zap, I had it all over my lower body sometimes upper. Numbness was there, as well as the static ans pins and needles
I had no idea what the “normal” state of my vagina was like. It was like my memory b4 December of that area was wiped. Discomfort was my new normal. I also couldn’t rmr what my discharge was like, during this time I experienced diff types, thick white discharge, watery, it was hard to track. My vaginal smell also got stronger, not a bad smell but the smell was STRONGER. Like immediately I took of my panties I could smell my vagina another symptom I had read about
Last week, I had sores and bumps that itched and burned outside of the “prodrome symptoms” I reg experienced and begged my boss to let me leave work early to go to the same walk in clinic I needed her to say yes bc I FINALLY had sores to swab.
I once again did a full panel STI test (this was my third time, I went again at the 3 month mark before this) blood, urine, and this time, a swab.
She said for sure there were bumps but she didn’t see any ulcers but she’d swab for both yeast and HSV. She asked me if I wanted to b on anti virals while waiting for the results and immediately I said yes (I had basically accepted it at this point and was working on just coping and I was looking at this appointment being final confirmation for me) and she advised me to drink lots of water and gave me the valacyclivir prescription.
Taking the prescription brought zero relief to my symptoms. Again, I thought I was one of those w people who had a bad case and was gonna finish the 10 days and wait till I got the results back before taking any other action.
Finally, this week I was called in bc my results came in. I came to the appt w the mindset that was finally gonna get the type of HSV and was gonna let her know that I wanted to try gabapentin and a diff antiviral.
GUYS. It was negative. BUT YEAST WAS DETECTED. My jaw DROPPED. I was so floored. I was prescribed clotrimazole but I haven’t even bought it yet cause I’m broke tn lol. But listen, when I say my symptoms basically disappeared overnight without it… I’m not kidding. Everything suddenly HALTED like EVERYTHING. All of it was psychological, and yeast (I’m still picking up the script when I get paid)
This experience did also educated me on HSV, the stigma, the experiences others have had, those who had it transmitted to them intentionally or carelessly, the immune system, healthy lifestyles, so in a way…I’m kinda grateful? HSV stigma needs to end. More ppl need to b educated on this it’s honestly disheartening knowing I knew virtually nothing about an infection as common as herpes. I used to think oral was the least riskiest sexual act but now idk if I could ever again knowing what I know now, and most people will never know their status if they’re carriers of the virus. Even now I’m not sure if I can ever have sex or date ever again but that’s not bc of the HSV. My point? Don’t assume, get swabbed, no matter what anybody says or what you think, looking back the alcohol probably flared up the yeast.

Hi there,
Okay so this is not exactly a throwaway account but I don't really care.
Around september-october, I noticed three suspension points under my glans. I showed a picture to a doctor friend of mine, and he thought this was nothing. Last month, I decided to go see a specialist and it took him 2 seconds to tell me I had HPV and that these dots were GW.
He prescribed me Aldara, with one use per day for 6 weeks. It's been a week (21-28 of may). In less than 3 days, the skin became red, irritated, a bit swollen, and the dots started to disintegrate. I've read stuff about this cream here https://www.skinhealthinfo.org.uk/condition/imiquimod-cream/, and I think those are actually good signs.
The issue is that, while the GWs seem to have completely disappeared, the skin is pretty swolen and some painful abscess have emerged. From what I've understood, this is because the immune system started treating the "abnormal" cells that are deeper under the surface. My pharmacist told me this could happen (she saw it herself, she didn't say where) and that I should not panic if it happens.
Also, in the span of one week, I had three episodes of weakness, fever and headache. Mostly flu symptoms that lasted for about a day or a night or so. I sent an email to the specialist who prescribed me Aldara, and told him about those "flu symptoms". I asked if I should stop the treatment, slow it down, or continue as prescribed, because I found out that those side effects are considered rare but heavy reactions and that the treatment should be stopped. He pretty much responded me that I most likely cought some virus, and that I should continue the treatment as prescribed.
From what I understood, the treatment seems to be working, too much maybe, but I'm not sure I want to die in the process. Now, after searching through this subreddit, I didn't find a lot of people talking about such Aldara side effects. So I'm asking it here. Has anyone "endured" the same or similar side effects ?
To be clear, I'm not asking foexpecting medical advice, I'm asking for opinions.

I’m (30F) currently 29w1d pregnant with my very first baby and I feel like every single one of my relationships have changed tremendously. I’m also the first person in my friend group to have a baby. It feels like all of my friends are totally unsure of how to interact with me now. Hardly anyone responds when I mention baby things (or even non baby things at this point), I get left on read or unread constantly. No one responds anymore when I mention getting together for lunch or just to catch up. I have friends who constantly make it feel like we’re in some sort of competition when I talk about the hardships I’m experiencing with my changing body and emotions. I feel so selfish but it really irks me that when I name specific symptoms I’m dealing with it gets met with “Same.” or a story about how their fur baby has upset them like it’s somehow comparable.
I guess ultimately I’m just shocked and saddened that no one has bothered to ask me how I am or how I’m feeling, and they all seem so quick to heart react my pregnancy posts on Facebook and comment about how excited they are for me and to meet my baby…that they’ve asked literally nothing about. I have friends that I’ve had for years and gave the news who have not asked me a thing but still continue to send memes and reels and leave me on read when I respond in an attempt to bridge the gap.
I recently had one of those HD ultrasounds done that I shared with two people and got zero reaction. One friend just reacted within the messenger and said nothing and one was more concerned about the outfit my grandma was wearing in the first family picture than the the first images I’ve ever seen of my baby’s face. That really hurt my feelings from both people. I just don’t understand why I feel like a freak who is totally uncool now.
At this point, I don’t really want to share any news with anybody anymore. I always end up disappointed because I thought people would care more. I understand we all have lives to live and the world doesn’t revolve around me, but I expected better from people who I thought cared about me and would care about my baby.
Surely I can’t be the only pregnant woman who has been made to feel forsaken. 😔

I keep getting conflicting things online when I'm searching, but for those with OCPD, is intrusive thoughts and minor compulsions a part of OCPD? (ex: thinking I'm going to have a heart attack, so obsessively checking and rechecking my apple watch, heart rate, ability to make heart rate go up and down without problems, etc. Another example: randomly thinking my food is poisoned or I suddenly developed an allergy overnight followed by constantly checking health signs and O2 to see if I'm still breathing, not wanting to be alone after eating/drinking incase something happens, etc).
I suspect I may have OCD or OCPD, but I feel like I need to have everything prepared as to why for either or, or I won't be able to accurately convey everything 'cause I'm kind of awful at talking to people. Plus, I just want a better personal understanding before I go. Like symptoms of mine match into OCPD pretty well, but then there's those things like that which seem to lean more to OCD, but one source says it can happen in OCPD too and I'm confused. The compulsions are honestly pretty mild compared to everything else (sometimes it can take hours, but it's kind of contained and, if I try hard enough, I'm able to brush it off sometimes).
I know you can have both comorbid, but the "OCD" part of it feels so much more minor to the traits relating to OCPD, especially since there are times where, even though there's a lot of anxiety, I can almost ignore it.
Also, if you're still reading to this point lol, did you get diagnosed through a therapist? Or a specific psychological testing? I'm looking into it, but I don't have a current therapist (tbh therapy never seemed to work for me so I just gave up on it) and psychological testing is a little pricey so idk if I should save for that.
Edited to add: I've also been diagnosed with ADHD about a year ago (full ADHD-specific assessment), so how does that look to those with both OCPD and ADHD?
Sorry for all the questions lol I just want to have the full picture going in...
Thanks!

Sooo I’m sorry for the lengthy post but it wouldn’t make sense without the back story. I’m newly diagnosed with lupus, fibromyalgia, long covid, POTS and hypothyroidism (I know, it’s a lot. Ugh). To say I’ve been in pain is an understatement. Head to toe symptoms, extreme swelling that makes movement even harder, fatigue, depression/anxiety, you name it I have it all right now. it’s been trial and error with medications so far. I’m still suffering from my first major flare in January.
Anyways, I (27F) was engaged to my boyfriend (29M) of 3 and a half years who I’ve known since I was 14. We are best friends and the love he gives me is like no other. Almost like something out of a movie..We both had shitty upbringings but not to belittle his situation, I definitely had it worse. I get anxious around big groups of people and I unfortunately care about what other’s think too much and my reputation. No one meeting me would ever know. That being said, there’s been numerous times he’s humiliated me in front of his friends and family. Even his own step mom told me a year and a half in when she saw I was frustrated over how he handled something that he used to manipulate and play both his mom and dad to get what he wants. They’re all unstable honestly but mostly the father. I’ve always felt uncomfortable around the family, they’re just not my kind of people and I feel like I can’t be myself around them. A year before my diagnoses we went to his best friend’s wedding. The wife is super mean to others and has started drama with a lot of the friend group especially the other girlfriend’s and wives and even her own husband’s family. My boyfriend has always said “these girls are just jealous because you’re stunning”. I grew up kind of ugly and didn’t get hot until senior year of high school so I was bullied really badly and it didn’t even stop when I got “hot”. A lot of girls were still mean to me just in different ways. I was already not excited to go to this wedding due to that and my boyfriend being in the wedding party. I made friends with this really nice girl who just started dating one of his friends. We went to the bathroom together and on our walk back to the tables we walked past my boyfriend who was standing in the mix of a big group of people and he was talking to one of his friend’s girlfriends. Really nice, cute girl. I didn’t even see him cause there were so many people by him so I walked right past him. He apparently called my name when he saw me but with the music it was so loud I didn’t hear nor see him. Him assuming the worst of me says to this girl “what the fuck is her problem” then this other girl walks up to me asking if I’m mad at him.. I was so confused and said what?! Why would I be mad at him? I pulled him aside and said what’s going on? I was so upset he involved other people over an issue I had no idea about. He’s obviously drunk but to me that’s even worse cause I believe drunk words are sober thoughts so he gives me the nastiest look and says you’re that insecure I can’t even talk to my friend’s girlfriend? I was so angry and said well you must be telling on yourself because I didn’t even hear or see you so he takes my words and twists them saying I said I was mad he was talking to her. I swear I could’ve given two shits less. I sat in the bathroom the entire wedding crying because I was so humiliated everyone was involved and they had heard his twisted version of what happened. Shame on me for thinking we were at a good place. I have no problem admitting I’m wrong but I literally did NOTHING for him to do this. I have had insecurity issues due to my upbringing and being cheated on and I finally got comfortable in our relationship where I stopped needing constant reassurance so for me to just finally feel safe and happy and then to have it all ripped away was like grieving a death for me because who is this person and why would they turn on me like that? he made me Uber with other people back from the venue cause he told them he didn’t want to be by me. No one really knows me so they clearly believe him and I’m absolutely shocked and embarrassed. It was rocky for months but he’d make it up to me then something else similar would happen and he’d involve other people in our business. His friend group is also so immature for their age and the girlfriends as well, so I always felt out of place and wondered why my boyfriend was friends with them. Obviously then it clicked.
Another wedding halfway across the country, he said he didn’t want to go out with the guys the night before the wedding because he didn’t want to leave me alone. I kept trying to talk him into going, especially with the fear that his friends would be blaming me for him not going. Finally after we all convinced him to go, I wanted to watch the football game so I took a Lyft by myself to a local bar that had the game on. Why should I have to sit in the room by myself all night waiting? I love traveling and was in a new city so I figured I’d make the most of it. He was annoyed and all his friends and one of the girls apparently said I was weird for going out to a bar alone. I’m also a loner and used to live out of my home state alone with just my dog and I so it’s literally what I’m used to. I can take care of myself. I dropped everything and sent him a spicy picture when I got back from the hotel bathroom. Him and his best friend came back not too long after to our room to hang out. I was asking them how it was and was telling them about my night and how a girl approached me and I actually made a friend. He was acting drunk which was totally fine cause that’s what most people do when they’re celebrating so I was like oh, you drunk?! Literally in a fun tone, not judgmental at all cause I had a fun night too.. his entire demeanor changed and he gets nasty with me in front of his friend saying that he’s not drunk and didn’t even drink at all. I was like huh? It’s not a problem, we’re literally hanging out having a conversation. He went to the bathroom and even his friend shrugged his shoulders. They were going to party in one of the other guys’ rooms and I didn’t even want to go. I realized he had the room key when I left at the same time to grab water bottles so I followed him up real quick to get it and he was talking shit about me to his friend. I said “hey I can hear you”. every single time something like this happens he takes AT LEAST a day or usually longer to realize how wrong he is. He throws out the excuses “all my friends and their spouses fight no one even cares and no one even remembers it.”
Well, fast forward to Thanksgiving.. his step mom has always been overly kind where it’s suspect because she literally talks crap about everyone including family so I’m obviously the subject when I leave the room. My boyfriend was on the deck petting the dog and I was packing our bags because we were all visiting his family in another state. His grandma goes “where did A(my boyfriend) go? His dad replies “he’s outside petting the dog. The step mom goes “no B(me) is right here. Literally calling me a dog. I went outside to the car and my boyfriend saw me and asked what’s wrong? I told him and he started yelling at ME saying that I made it up and she never said that. He goes in to ask them. All of a sudden his dad, step mom and him all come running out bombarding me it was so overwhelming. She’s trying to tell me she didn’t mean it that way and she thinks I’m gorgeous and loves me and she even started tearing up.. mind you, I’ve already sat out many gatherings the last year due to some of her comments. This ultimately led to a huge fight cause I was crying and explained how he’s never once defended me and I don’t think I can be with someone who acts like this in these situations. He always misses the point or tries to reverse the blame. I grew up walking on eggshells and have also been diagnosed with complex PTSD which I forgot to mention earlier so I really try my hardest to communicate healthy because I hate yelling. I will admit, I’ve fed into and once he started yelling at me I did start yelling back which I know wasn’t good but I truly couldn’t take being so misunderstood this bad like he was always trying to make me a bad guy for no reason. I had booked a mini vacation after Thanksgiving so we were driving to the hotel even though he had already ruined the excitement for me. We get there and everything escalated again. He left the room and said he was leaving me here. He came back in all angry and I said you need to get out of the room but he wouldn’t stop being nasty and I said if you don’t get out I’m literally going to call the cops, I’m not sitting here listening to this all night. I know that was a little far fetched but I actually ended up calling the cops because he kept daring me to and making threats refusing to leave, laughing in my face and taunting me (he was hammered). I literally went to book him another room first and he refused to give me space so I exhausted all options. Looking back, I wish I didn’t call the cops but I was so sick of this shit I pretty much just wanted a reason for us to be done and not have a reason to get back together.. I told the cops to just take him to another room and I didn’t want any trouble at all. He acted like I was trying to get him arrested when I literally stressed to them that I didn’t want that and just needed space but he wasn’t listening. I had called one of my best friends and her boyfriend to come get me over 4 hours from home.
He financed my car for me knowing my ex has ruined my credit when we split but I had cash saved so I paid him $1,000 a month on top of the down payment just to pay off the car super quick. He took the engagement ring from me and left me stranded without a vehicle not even letting me have a day or two to get a different car. We didn’t talk for a week, I refused his texts and calls which were blowing up my phone until I finally caved. He agreed to therapy. I made him apologize to his friends and family and explain that I wasn’t crazy or out of line like he made me seem the last few years. I wasn’t happy with how he did it and think he still defends his case around them as he knows I have no interest in going around any of them except his mother and step father who were the nicest out of everyone but they still were not my cup of tea..
Come January, we split again for a week. This time peacefully because I told him any little slip up and I’m gone, I have to look out for myself. This is when my first flare happened that progressively got worse to where after a month I could barely get out of bed. My heart rate had gone up to a high of 180 at one point while just standing. There’s too many symptoms to write out here as it’s not completely relevant but I have a very poor quality of life right now and I’m trying my best to be positive because I was super active and loved being outdoors before this. My boyfriend has gotten better for the most part but still doesn’t know how to communicate issues without blowing up most of the time and it has caused my pain to get worse each time this happened. One time I told him to stop because it’s making it worse and he says “I don’t give a fuck about your symptoms”. I kicked him out and he apologized tremendously and hasn’t done anything that bad since but still will argue with me over dumb things after I’ve repeatedly begged him to just stop and think first before reacting, especially now with how sick I am..
I’m only explaining the bad here because just envision Prince Charming aside from these scenarios.. he is literally amazing and has taken care of me through all of this, giving up time where he could be having fun to just sit inside with me and cater to my every need which I’m so grateful for. I haven’t been able to go back to work since this happened so he has helped me with a few bills and takes me to some specialist appointments when my grandmother can’t. He cooks often for me on my really bad days and even for my younger brothers. They all love him because he spends time with them but they don’t really know the side that I do. It’s like I’m with two different people and with my heart issue right now I’m scared to lose him because I already feel like I’m having a heart attack on the daily. Should I suggest he goes to a psychiatrist and tries medication or just find the strength to leave him? I don’t look at him the same and all the good seems fake cause I’m just waiting for his next outburst where he holds it over my head or something.

Greetings everybody, thanks in advance for taking the time to answer.
Shortly after getting out of the Navy in 2016 I got my Medical Marijuana Card to help with PTSD symptoms(Infantry Corpsman). I used it pretty regularly but it expired around June of last year and I stopped using MJ around that time, before I even knew it expired. I wanted to turn my life around and realized that even though MJ helped me get to sleep at night, it was hurting me in a lot of other ways. Plus, therapy and fishing really helped rid me of my PTSD issues.
I've realized since being out of the service that I want to get back into a service oriented career. Something with structure and standards, and that allows me to serve something bigger than myself. I originally thought about being a FF as my history as a Corpsman(medic) makes it seem like a logical leap, then my mother suggested I join the Sheriffs Dept as we have family members who work for the local Sheriffs Dept and they really love it. The more I've researched this line of work, the more I've realized that this is how I want to serve my community. I'm also applying to the SD volunteer program to show them how badly I want to serve. I applied to an LE sponsorship program through the SD, and I was honest about my MJ use. Even though the site says 2yrs, I was honest about having last used just shy of a year from now. I received the standard confirmation of receipt email, then a few days later, an email saying that my app was moved up into the candidate pool, then one asking for pictures of my tattoos. These look like good signs to me. Heres the problem...
I was honest about my MJ use, and I thought that I was being honest about the question about having sold when I answered "No". But after submitting, I was hit with a flashback and remembered the one and only time that I did sell. It was to a coworker who unexpectedly asked me to buy some while at my house. I didn't do it to make money, just to help a friend (I know this doesn't matter). I truly forgot that I ever did that until it was too late. I want to be honest as I move forward, as I genuinely made a mistake on the app and didn't intend to hide the truth. My question is, should I call HR and ask to change information on my application, or should I just wait until a polygraph (assuming I ever get one) and honestly explain the situation and the reason for my app mistake then? I own my mistakes and have no plans other than being honest, but I'm trying to strategize when and how to come forward. Thanks again for reading and replying. I feel like I already know the answers, but figure that ya'll will have some insight that I don't.

I have some new symptoms that could be EDS or POTS or something completely new. So, I went to my PCP with pictures.
Previously my toes would only dislocate if I wore certain types of shoes. Easy solution: don't wear them.
Now, for funsies, my toes have started to dislocate whenever I flex my feet and sometimes I'll randomly get a cramp in my foot and I can watch my toes dislocate.
My PCP was like "oh wow. That's weird. That's not normal" that was it.
I had a follow up today with my Ortho over my hip sublux recovery. I showed him the pics. "That's actually really cool. Weird, but cool."
Like, SIR... Some actual suggestions might be helpful. 🤦🏻‍♀️
He said I probably should go back to my PCP and get a referral somewhere. He recommended rheumatology because they deal with all sorts of "weird stuff" before neurology.
On the bright side, he said I'm making enough progress that he isn't going to recommend surgery on my hip since I am doing things that are working.
But I'm feeling like a freak show over here with the doctors saying they've never seen or heard of anything like it before.

Mood

Nowy Sącz, Polish Eden

“Name?”
The lady’s voice seemed to catch on the moss-covered walls of the church. It was a humble building, and quite clearly an old Catholic church that had been converted for its new purpose. Windows had been opened to let in animals, with birds and rodents taking advantage and making this their home. Where moss and vine didn’t cover the walls, paintings of the Earth Mother and Eden… the true Eden adorned them. While the building may have been built Catholic, its insides proclaimed it as far different.
“Name Sir?”
Her voice caught him off guard. Her face seemed mildly annoyed, as if he was holding up her day. To be fair, the hour long line he had waited in suggested that this place was busy, and yet when he walked in the church seemed quite empty. Beyond her face, she wore a rather plain-looking white top…or was it a dress? Whatever it was, no symbols or logos sat on the fabric besides a small, minimalistic tree, just on her left shoulder. It was the same symbol which sat above the church’s entrance, and the same one which he had seen all throughout his home town in recent weeks. It was the symbol of the Community, the supposed singular faith of Eden.
“Sir, I need a name or I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”
Once again, her voice brought him out his daydream. He figured he might as well answer, he had waited all that time. “Szymon.”
She nodded, typing it down on a rather old-looking computer.
“Last names and any middle names sir?”
“Czajka… What exactly is this?”
The lady simply continued typing, not bothering to look up as she answered his question.
“It’s a Community Church.”
She said it so matter-of-factly that he couldn’t decide whether she was making a joke or if she genuinely believed he was that stupid.
“No, I know that obviously. I meant more… what is this process here? What are we doing? I thought this was a church sermon or something, not a reception desk.”
She paused for a second, before looking up and reaching over to a brochure stand behind her. As she grabbed one of the first pamphlets held within it, its title of “THE COMMUNITY AND YOU: HOW THE EARTH LOVES US ALL” visible even with his relatively poor eyesight, she also responded in a more welcoming tone.”
“Ah sorry, I figured you came in having seen the initiative around town. That’s my bad. Here at the Community, we appreciate that Eden’s faith is a little different from your own, and want to make the transition as smooth as possible for all. As such we’re running these drives so to speak, where people like yourself can come in, gain as much information as possible about the Community, and make an educated decision on whether to convert!”
Her warm tone was calming, even if he still suspected all of this to be a scam. Perhaps seeing a weird look on his face, the lady continued.
“We completely get that the way the Community does things may be abit odd at times, so if you have any questions during this process feel free to ask. If I may ask though, what made you think of coming here?”
That question made him ponder for a second. Why was he here? He supposed that everyone he knew was talking about the advantages of being an active Community member, and those that had joined were seeing great benefits for their families, or so it seemed. But there was more than that. It was subtle at first, but the more he saw ads and signs for the Community, the more drawn he felt to it. It had felt like nothing he had ever experienced before, a vacuum so powerful that his subconscious couldn’t help but be pulled in. He looked at the lady, unsure of how to answer.
“I felt like I needed a change of pace.”
She smiled at his answer, and yet the smile seemed off, as if he had gotten something wrong. Whatever it was, she quickly returned to a more neutral expression.
“That makes sense. Well, if you would follow me, I’ll take you to the first step of your education.”
As the lady got up, he hesitated. Her inflection, her tone, it all said something was wrong. All of a sudden the room felt small, and he felt even smaller, trapped. His eyes darted around the room, paranoia mounting, the feeling of being watched by something far larger than anything he had ever known growing. He went to stand up, to run, but his knees wouldn’t let him. Whatever was watching was close now. It felt old…dangerous…beyond the scope of what he considered possible. As tears welled up in his eyes he was certain that this was the end, whatever this was.
“Syzmon? I get the hesitation, but trust me, it’ll all be fine.”
Her words snapped him out of his stupor. They comforted him, made him feel safe, the same way his mother’s words did when he was a child. He shook his head and stood up, following the lady to the area behind the pulpit. Here, in an area normally reserved for priests and pastors, small booths had seemingly been set up, almost like private voting areas. She beckoned for him to enter one and sit on the provided chair.
As he sat, she handed him some decidedly ancient headphones as well as a hot cup of tea, and gestured to box TV which sat in front of him.
“This’ll be the start of your education Syzmon. Just put the headphones on and watch the TV, and all your questions will be answered.”
For a second, he felt the same panic rising, but before it could take hold the TV was on and the lady was off. Static filled his ears while darkness remained on the TV, just long enough for him to think something was broken. As he waited, he sipped on the tea, its flavour muted but decidedly earthy. Thinking the tech had broken, he looked to leave, before a cacophony of noise assaulted his ears. Trumpets played, high-pitched voices sang while low-pitched voices chanted. The noise commanded his attention, as did the TV, whose screen was now flashing bright, almost psychedelic colours. The sounds and colours burnt their way into his mind, but they too would stop suddenly. Alone with his thoughts for a second, he swore he could see shadows moving about behind him, only for that thought to be tossed away as screams ripped through the headphones, so loud he could only think that they were right there next to him. The image on the screen changed, to demonstrate a woman, dressed in a plain white dress, her black hair tangling down past her shoulders and elbows, her eyes a piercing green, walking through a serene garden. As she spoke, the screams quietened but never left.
“My child. It is good to see you. I am so happy to hear you wish to join the Community.”
He calmed down with this, the woman’s voice acting as a warm blanket. The tea smelled better now somehow, and invited him to drink even more, which he did without complaint.
“You are here to learn, but what exactly is it you must be taught? You understand how to worship, how to be a good man in the Catholic world, what more could you need for a faith admittedly quite similar to your old one? Syzmon, I must tell you that we lied a tiny amount. The Community is different. How? Well, let me show you!”
The picture changed once more, bright red flashing for a second, before scenes he couldn’t even describe began to take place. His mind was assaulted with the vile inhumanity of what he saw, the images tearing at the very makeup of his personhood. And all through this the woman spoke still.
“The Community is more than just a faith you think about once or twice a year. It requires devotion, love, dedication above all else.
More images, even worse somehow, continued playing. He could feel his mind failing him, it being unable to comprehend what he was seeing. Screams began to rip through once more, and yet the woman continued to speak.
“Szymon, what you must understand is that to enjoy the fruits of the Earth and the Community, you must give yourself entirely to the Earth Mother! You must understand that man is weak, and yet they believe themselves master of every domain they seek. No longer do they toil amongst the rest of the animals, NO! Instead they work to bend every atom to their will, assuming that it is their destiny to be gods! This is not the case my child. When you join the Community, you understand that humanity has its place, not as the master of worlds, but as its servant!”
The speech rang through his head, pushing its way past the disgusting imagery and terrifying screams. It buried itself deep within his brain, in some part that he could barely even fathom, and when it did, he saw eternity. The TV shut off in that moment, the noises and images gone. And so to did Szymon, only to reawaken a second later, no longer a man of God but a child of the Earth Mother.

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REPORT: ON THE EXPANSION OF EDEN

Date: 01/01/2073

Author: Zalmoxis

For: God-King Iohannis, The Prophet Amon, & Pleistoros

I hope this email finds you all well...
The absorption of the Polish Commonwealth, alongside the final death of the EU, has rapidly transformed both the state of Eden and world affairs. This report, for your eyes only, will detail all the information I have gathered recently, both on the regions we have expanded into, and for the greater region as a whole.
The expansion of Eden has been both a positive and a negative. Of course, the positives include the realisation of Eden as a true power in the European space, as well as increased growth for the Earth Mother, though while these are self-evident, the negatives must be delved into. The most obvious negative is the increase in perversions. A more comprehensive document is on its way, however, there still remains a not-insignificant level of detail which I have obtained. Below is a list of the most relevant perversions and the changes, for your consideration.
The absorption of the Polish Commonwealth, alongside the final death of the EU, has rapidly transformed both the state of Eden and world affairs. This report, for your eyes only, will detail all the information I have gathered recently, both on the regions we have expanded into, and for the greater region as a whole.
The expansion of Eden has been both a positive and a negative. Of course, the positives include the realisation of Eden as a true power in the European space, as well as increased growth for the Earth Mother, though while these are self-evident, the negatives must be delved into. The most obvious negative is the increase in perversions. A more comprehensive document is on its way, however, there still remains a not-insignificant level of detail which I have obtained. Below is a list of the most relevant perversions and the changes, for your consideration.
The Cult of the Space Mother: An already extant perversion, Eden’s expansion into regions of the Commonwealth has seen the Cult of the Space Mother grow exponentially. Based on a technocratic-based theology, the Cult of the Space Mother believes that the Earth Mother is also the progenitor of alien lifeforms who most certainly exist, and who will come to Eden’s aid. Though harmless, the Cult has become widespread in Commonwealth converts, as its technocratic base appeals to those citizens of the ex-tech utopia. I have estimated that 1:12 converts from the Commonwealth quickly become a part of the Cult, making it increasingly significant in everyday Community life. While it is a harmless perversion, should it gain substantial weight from the new converts, the cult could represent a theocratic schism in the Community, which would be an existential threat to us all. Eden must either adapt these beliefs into its own, or snuff them out before they become something more.
The Remnants: Though the Commonwealth Army who joined Eden quickly threw off their chains and began dedicated members of the Community, such a quick large-scale conversion never could be perfect. Many of these converts have joined a perversion known as the Remnants, and while it is early days, their main differences stem from the fact that they are dedicated to the idea of the Eastern European State. While this may initially seem harmless, it means that they put the Earth Mother below Eden, and as such may be liable to cause issue if they believe the state is being put at risk for the wants of the faith. Though, this does mean that they are as dedicated as any military unit to Eden. The Remnants are also incredibly anti-Alfr, to the extent that it may be unwise to station them on the border with any Alfr state. In addition, while these reports are incredibly recent, a small number of Remnants have been found to clash with Community soldiers, especially those who either are Children or Warriors, or who are part of the Camp Follower Perversion. All of this is to say, if the Remnants are not kept in check, they could represent a fracturing force which may destroy Eden.
The Messianics: I’ll be frank. This perversion has so far mostly flew under my radar. Extant in some parts of Polish Eden, the Messianics seem to have taken Pagan-Christian syncretism to the nth degree. They believe that while the Earth Mother is the true creator, Jesus is also real, as well as being the Earth Mother’s son and the first messiah. Such a perversion is deeply concerning, because it suggests the possibility of a “new testament” Community, something which, atleast to me, seems like a possible crisis waiting to happen. Rumours are abound that these Messianics believe that another Messiah is due to come, and fewer still believe he already exists, in the form of either Iohannis or Pleistoros. This news can never reach the Earth Mother. If need be, these perverts must be stamped out.
Roman Catholics/Russian Orthodox: While not what we normally think when it comes to perversions, the recent expansion means that the Christian faith exists once more in Eden. Consisting largely in urban Belarus and rural Poland, the Christian faiths represent a heresy more than anything else. Intensive efforts are already occurring as to convert all who remain Christian, but lethal force is on the table should any holdout cities, towns, or villages not take to the Community. If they wish to meet their Lord so much, may their blood feed our Earth Mother.
Beyond these perversions, Eden’s strategic situation must be acknowledged. That is not my area of expertise, and I defer to both Pleistoros and Iohannis on the matter. However, the Earth Mother has recently spoken to me, suggesting that the Eden’s most major goal at this moment is the reunification of the Eastern Union (to be renamed to the Eden Union). This includes the Second Roman Republic, the UNSC-held Baltics, and the Russian Remnant state. While I will not say my thoughts on this goal here… it is perhaps something we should keep in consideration.
Thus ends this rather brief report. At the current rate, Eden should be back to near 100% Community penetration by 2077, though it is highly likely this could be sped up. Efforts will be undertaken to ensure the Community outside of Eden spreads also, as having a prior base will assist incredibly with any future conquests.

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The Palace of the Earth Mother, Eden City

The test shook in her hand. She hadn’t believed it, thinking for days that the symptoms were something else. Yet as the bile rose up her throat, she stared at the two red lines, which seemed to stare back at her, almost alive and demonic in their nature. Screaming, she threw the test down and stormed out, walking to the darkest depths of the Palace. Even as she left that wretched thing behind, one question stuck out in her head.
What would it mean for a god, the God, to have a child?

Summary

• Name: The Garden of Eden
• Capital: Eden City (Bucharest)
• Language: Pontic & Proto-Indo-European
• Government: Theocratic Absolute Monarchy
• Leaders: The Earth Mother & God-King Iohannis
• GDP (nominal): $3,190,440,576,898
• Population: Incalculable 167,342,102
• FLAG

How worried should I be about this bug bite? Not sure if this is approriate.
Picture 1 was 10 days ago and picture 2 is this morning.
I was traveling in Japan around 10 days ago when I noticed this bite. It never really got swollen or painful just extremely itchy. I was doing research and figured it may be a black fly/buyo bite from the looks of it and the symptoms. It is not really that itchy or symptomatic anymore ( at least compared to initial onset) but the site of the bite is looking worse as it’s getting bigger. It’s not really raised or painful/hot to touch. it feels a little “scale-like” and almost looks like a circular bruise to me. It is still sometimes slightly itchy but nothing crazy.
Would you seek immediate medical attention?

He’s suffering in class and daycare because of it. He’s highly functioning, very smart, but just isn’t on the same wavelength as his classmates. He has a very difficult time understanding social cues and fostering normal social relationships, causes disturbances in class, he gets obsessive about things, shows extreme patterns of echolalia and stimming, among other things. He’s such a brilliant boy and he’s got a sweet heart and I love him so so much, I just want him to have the foundations he needs to grow up in a healthy way. He has no father in the picture, but his younger brother seems to be developing neurotypically.
I’ve brought this up to his PCPs for two years and I’ve been dismissed every time. He is so sad at the end of the day because he feels so “alone” and I get it because I had the same symptoms growing up and I have come to realize that I likely should have been diagnosed (my parents didn’t believe I could have autism because of choices they made- they thought I was just weird). I am trying to teach him how to regulate himself and give him the resources to learn how to manage himself and interact with others at his own level, but I never learned those tools myself and I have a bit of imposter syndrome about trying to manage a situation that hasn’t been officially Confirmed™️
If the general practitioners won’t acknowledge his experience, who can I take him to for an actual evaluation so that we can start next school year on the right foot? Does anyone know if this is possible to have covered by Medicaid? (Florida Sunshine Health) I am a single parent working full time doing my best to provide for these kiddos in this economy and it is a mission.

Hey y'all, this is gonna be a long one. Obligatory on phone so layout may be weird.
Before I get started, I think it's important to give some background. Me (N) and my partner (X) have been together for two years, nearing 3. This will be really long, so idk read at your own risk I guess.
At the time we got engaged, I honestly didn't know his family super well. We had met and everything, don't get me wrong, but as they live a fair distance away - neither of us drive, I have a chronic pain condition too so there wasn't/isn't a lot of opportunities for us to see them so I just didn't know them very well and would say personally that, that's still the case.
At the time we got engaged, BIL (his biological brother) and SIL (now married to biological brother) got SUPER mad at us for getting engaged and that we had begun wedding planning already. They were mad because their wedding was around 3-4 months away roughly and they were very competitive, incredibly worried that we would get married before them. Which in my eyes is low key kinda nuts, you don't own the whole year, weddings or other people's proposals because you, yourself are getting married at some point. I'd understand their anger if my partner proposed actually at their wedding, week of or something like that but that's not what happened nor did we have our wedding before theirs nor did we plan to (which in my eyes, is honestly really immature to be worried about regardless).
For context, at the time we got engaged there was still a massive backlog from COVID-19 from all the weddings that had to be postponed etc, so we wouldn't have been able to get married before them anyway even if we wanted to. It would have been a 2 year wait minimum for us to be able to get married (we were engaged within first year of dating). We informed them of this. They were still pissed.
We were actually viewing our venue when BIL blowed up my partner's phone with angry texts, my partner innocently and excitedly told his family group chat and his brother got really reactive and sent really nasty private messages. Even though they (SIL & BIL) again, were aware that we were getting ahead of booking things due to the backlogs - not to get married before them.
It got kind of ugly and turned what was supposed to be a really exciting day for us, to be pretty shit and exhausting. I was so distraught that I almost didn't go for our venue at all because I was worried that all I'd be able to think of would be their irrational behaviour.
Fast forward, we were trying for a baby. We were successful, but I had a missed miscarriage. For those who may be unaware, and to put it in over-simplified terms, a missed miscarriage is when the body doesn't recognise that the pregnancy is no longer viable and it still grows but is dead but your body still produces all the symptoms of being pregnant and you basically have to wait to actually physically pass it.
His family knew that we had lost/was in the process of losing our baby and very closely after actually physically passing the baby and me almost dying in the process, SIL decided to send a photo of her kid in the our group chat with something along the lines of how she's so glad to be a mum/biased but so proud of her kid. (For reference the GC was just me, my partner, FIL, BIL and SIL). I was really upset at the time and thought it was inappropriate. I still do, as does my partner.
Our thought process is this: almost half of the group chat have just suffered losing their baby after a gruelling, cruel wait, almost died during it and you post that? Knowing we'd directly be sent that to our phones? When you could very easily send that picture & sentiment to FIL and BIL individually? I left the group chat, very clearly hurt. Neither she nor BIL apologised. Obviously, it was more her responsibility to apologise but neither of them did nor did they check in on me when I had left.
I'd like to believe that it wasn't intentional of her to do that, but I just don't get why she couldn't have sent it individually or why she didn't apologise when she clearly hurt me. Even if it was unintentional, when its something as hurtful and as big and as traumatic as this, you apologise. "It wasn't my intention, but I can see I really hurt you and I'm sorry." It's just not that hard. Right? It wasn't like she posted something on social media in general, it was something that was sent to our phones directly.
My partner was really mad at the time and wanted to say something, but because I was still new to the family and because of how they reacted about us getting engaged I told him to leave it be because I didn't trust that they'd be able to take accountability or that they were honestly safe people to talk to about this. I didn't think any good would have come from it whatsoever, we were dealing with enough as it was. Reduce contact and let it be.
Fast forward to now, their kids birthday is coming up. I brought a gift that is a little bit over the "allowed" amount as far as budget goes, but I did ask for permission before making the purchase months ago. They had forgotten they okayed it. No big deal right? Wrong. I tried reminding them about it & the fact it was previously okayed and SIL got really passive aggressive remarks made back to me about "if you really want to help, you'd use that money to go up to see us more" and saying I "broke a boundary" by purchasing a slightly more expensive gift. Despite the fact I got permission to do so prior to buying.
She knows this is largely not feasible for me and something I feel intense guilt about. It's not feasible just because of finances because sometimes there is cheap ways to get down there, but because I literally have a chronic pain condition and always have to overdose on pain meds just to be able to travel to see them at all and have very intense side effects of. They all drive and are able bodied btw, they don't come to see us either. They've literally came to us once, in the space of almost 3 years.
This was my partners breaking point, even though its kinda small, it's the straw that broke the camels back so to speak. It's just clear that she doesn't like me for whatever reason. Probably holding a grudge from the whole wedding/engagement thing, which is very petty tbh.
He called BIL, asked straight up why doesn't she like me. And listed everything I've mentioned now inc the engagement/wedding stuff and the miscarriage.
BIL got reactive again and said "WELL WE FORGOT!" In reference to the gift. Okay? But that's not on me? Passive aggressive comments don't need to be made towards me because YOU both forgot.
Then BIL made some really dismissive remarks about the miscarriage "when could we post then?" It wasn't a post. It was a direct message. A deliberate attempt to misrepresent and reframe the events to try and point score with an added bonus of trying to make me seem unreasonable/overtly sensitive imo. He said "it didn't happen a week after the miscarriage, it was a few weeks!" Not true either. It happened a few weeks after they were made aware that we were going to lose the baby, a week after we physically lost it. Not that it even matters or makes it any better, a few weeks still isn't a lot of time to grieve anyway.
BIL swears up and down that they have "no issues" with me. This has been nothing BUT issues. And he's really upset because I sometimes double text or sometimes add "unnecessary" information (context, I have autism and ADHD and sometimes struggle prioritising info when having to communicate it especially written format and sometimes double text if I forget stuff). They also take issue with me because I offered to buy their kid a backpack to go back to school? They declined and I didn't push it any further so I don't understand the upset.
So to put it in perspective, they think that them being upset over gifts that was previously approved, a backpack I offered and didn't push when declined and slightly annoying texting style due to disability is more reasonable and more justified to be upset about than us being upset over them making insensitive remarks about all things listed - included but not limited to the miscarriage.
So reddit, I ask WBITA if I told them not to come?