Throw away account for obvious reasons. Let me preface this by saying I am not delusional, I know this is a bad road to be on and the guilt is already kicking in. I am single, and he is 10 years married with three kids.
I’ve been working at my current job for a little over a year. I am 100% not looking to leave, it is very niche and if I leave now it will be extremely difficult to get another job that pays well in this field.
When I first got hired, my manager immediately caught my attention. He is funny, sociable, caring, and attentive.
A few months in and we had formed a good work friendship. He told me about his marital problems, his mother’s death, his children’s activities, his fears and passions. I shared too, not as much or as deep but we had a good bond. Friends at work, strangers at home.
Then I felt myself catch feelings. I would think about him all the time, but I kept it friendly and professional, no boundaries were crossed. I kind of distanced myself a bit to try and get rid of the feelings but it didn’t work.
After months of trying to get my feelings to dissipate, I noticed he was paying me more mind than usual. Intimate jokes came into play, he complimented me emotionally and physically. He went out of his way to be in my presence and say something to me. I really grew to love his presence. The way he loves his children, his personality and lifestyle, etc. I wanted him, and he made me feel wanted.
One day we were talking and I shared something a little more vulnerable, completely unrelated to him. But he said he related and was experiencing the same thing. He really made me feel seen and validated.
After that conversation our whole dynamic changed. Suddenly things were much more intimate and vulnerable, the energy shifted. He would go out of his to find excuses to touch my legs, arms, hands, back. He complimented me emotionally and physically many times. He made “jokes”. At one point he touched my behind in an obvious and intimate way, not a hand brushing past. I’ll be honest and say I did indulge and reciprocate a good amount. I took part in some joke making and found excuses to rest my hand on his back or arm or leg. I tried not to compliment him too personally the way he did to me but he does a lot for me as a manager and I make it known to him and others that I appreciate his efforts. He is a great, unbiased manager. Our situationship never comes into play when we are genuinely working and I love that it stays professional when others come into play but we can still joke and talk when there is room for it.
I’ve met his wife, kids, and father on multiple occasions and although his wife is a pretty rude character, I don’t want to do that to her.
But we did. At this point there is no doubt that some form of cheating is going on, emotionally and slightly physically. He asked me about a week ago if we could start talking on the phone and I told him no. I realize that we have overstepped many boundaries and created a bad situation.
The problem is, I really do have genuine feelings for him. Throughout the last year and a half ish I’ve tried seeing other people. Humbly, I am an attractive person and am desired by a good amount. I have no problem in that context. But none of them are him, I don’t consciously compare but it’s not fair to say none of them are good enough. They’re just not him. And he knows about these attempts. Some have come in to see me and I’ve told him stories.
Now I don’t know about him but I’m not willing to throw away this career for him. I know this needs to stop, but…
He is literally on the brink of divorce and not confident about his career path. A part of me wants to wait, don’t abandon these feelings because in a year or two I would be 100% willing to give it a shot with him (assuming by then he is single). But then it’s like, if he stays with his wife then what we are doing is way messed up. I mean it’s already so messed up but even more so. I do have guilt. I was talking to my therapist the other day and they used a man cheating on his wife as an example for something and my heart dropped to the pit of my stomach. I have never talked to my therapist about my manager, I feel a bit of shame.
Only because he is married though.
In other ways, we are compatible. I don’t want kids of my own. I’ve always told people I was going to adopt older children (and don’t say “you might change your mind.” I won’t, I firmly don’t want children of my own). The age gap doesn’t bother me at all so long as he stays conscious of his health. We have extremely similar beliefs and habits. Obviously he isn’t perfect, I try to focus on his flaws but they’re just not bad enough to make me lose attraction. I mean, would I really love him if I didn’t accept him as he is?
I’m feeling a bit lost right now. I got a side job just to have a crutch in case I have to leave my current job but I deeply don’t want to leave. I love my job, with or without my manager there. I don’t want to have a direct conversation with my manager about it because I don’t want to crash the work environment. I need to subtly detach and somehow get him to detach, too. I don’t know how deep his feelings are but he has talked about a fanatical world where we are together.
TLDR: My manager is in a failing marriage and him and I have developed feelings for each other. At this point some form of cheating is going on and I am wondering what to do. Highly advise reading the paragraph above this one for accurate advice giving.
How do I fix this without ruining it all?

Her affair actually ended. She had lied to me and told me it had ended months earlier. She wanted to apologize. The divorce is in the works. Court date at the end of the month.
I wasn’t sure about meeting with her. Every time we met/talked it absolutely ruined my week. I reluctantly agreed.
She informed me that she has come out of a fog and she realizes how poorly she had treated me. She said that she is worried that she may have ruined any chance at an amicable relationship for our son.
I started to get upset and she couldn’t deal with it. She got up and left. Nothing has changed. I have never been given the grace to express my negative emotions. I have always had to walk on eggshells.
I sat reflecting on the experience and I thought I don’t need to be giving of myself to someone who keeps hurting me.
Throughout this whole order Al, I have never raised my voice, if I wasn’t crying, I have remained cool and calm around her.
I got so angry that she came to apologize and didn’t give me to opportunity to be mad at her. This is upsetting. Being mad is what a normal person would be in this situation.
I sent her this message (this is the first message I have ever sent her about our relationship)
“Here is everything I wanted to say to you tonight.
Damn you for blowing up our family and Meng’s family. Things weren’t easy, but they were objectively better than a year prior. We were in a hard season of our marriage. Just look back at all the fucking major life stressors. Baby, moving, new jobs…1,2,3 of the hardest things for couples to whether. You threw it all away so you could have butterflies and tingles. Then you went back and Cherry-picked all the bad shit and rolled it up into a beautiful affair justification. I believe that you were struggling before you cheated, but even your stories aren’t consistent. You didn’t want to end our marriage until you fucked John.
I wasn’t “happy” either Keri. You hadn’t approached me for intimacy either. I longed for it, but it felt gross being the only one to make advances. Every time I tried to bring it up, you would clam up and shut down, so I didn’t want to upset you and somehow make it worse. I maybe brought up our sex life 4 or 5 times over the course of our marriage and you shut down that conversation every time. It was better for me to live a life without the expectation of sex and maintain a loving relationship with my partner rather than risk upsetting you with another attempt at “the talk”.
I never wanted a sexless marriage, but I was willing to compromise. Yes, marriage is about compromise. I tried to make connection with you, I did everything we talked about in therapy. I called you during the day, I rubbed your feet on the couch, I came to bed with you most nights to talk hoping you would give me a signal that you wanted to be intimate. I’m glad you were able to find someone you wanted to have sex with.
I couldn’t get openly upset at anything (especially you) and tell you how I felt because you shut down and withdraw. You do it to you mom. You do it to your dad. I know because I talked to them more often than you did. You did it tonight! As soon as it became uncomfortable, you just left. Everyone who loves you has to walk on fucking egg-shells or else Keri is going to walk away.
I wasn’t perfectly happy either and I had nurses throwing themselves at me since we set foot in a hospital. I managed not to fuck anyone else. I SHUT THAT SHIT DOWN EVERY TIME. let me know if you want specific examples. I could even give you names.
You say you were miserable like that is some kind of excuse. If you were so miserable then you should have just ended the marriage and not fucked John and caused me the most incomprehensible suffering and pain.
You also were unfaithful to Our son when you chose to do this. You robbed him of the chance to have an intact family for your crotch tingles.
You can tell yourself whatever story you need to live with yourself. Go ahead and tell yourself that this doesn’t count as an affair since you were already over the marriage. Make me out to be some awful person. I known you can’t be the villain in your own story apparently. You have written yourself into the hero or victim roll. I was there for all the gaslighting and blame shifting. I remember when you said “I don’t let you be your true self”. What the fuck is that. What a stretch. I never once discouraged you from doing anything you wanted or liked. I supported your every endeavor. I watched your child as you went off to conferences to fuck other men. I know that you 100% believe it. You’ve gaslighted yourself. You’ve reinvented and reshaped your reality and story to make it more palatable.
I am not a bad person, father, or husband, but I was quite broken. Predominantly due to emotional and physical abandonment in our marriage.
You seldom said “I love you” unless I said it first. You seldom expressed appreciation for the things I contributed. You did often suggest that it wasn’t enough, or that I was missing the mark. You broke me down. What I needed was for you to come to me and tell me you were concerned. Instead you were inpatient and irritated. When I was anxious or sad, you were irritated and wanted me to figure out my own shit. I was lonely as hell.
As I said, and seemingly so offensive to you, initially I had never felt as loved and as appreciated by another person before you. (I believe you said it made you feel “vapid”). In addition to your other amazing qualities at the time, your love and devotion was reassuring and made me feel safe and secure. It set you apart from every other person I had ever met. I remember thinking that I had never really known what true love was until I met you. I genuinely felt like I had found my missing piece, my other half.
When that went away, I started to get sick. I mistakenly related my self-worth to what you thought of me. When you stopped appreciating me, I plummeted. Once our son was born, it seemed like I couldn’t do anything right by you. That is a hard place to exist in.
I made WILLING sacrifices for our family, but they were sacrifices nonetheless. You have to appreciate, my life is absolutely not where I wanted it so that you could have what you wanted. Fuck! I am such a fucking chump. I didn’t put up a fight at all. I wanted California, you said no. I wanted Oregon, you said no. I wanted to stay in Philidelphia, you said no. You wanted West Virginia and I said Ok. I never put up a fight because you would most assuredly shut down.
I am a good man. I have good morals. I am committed. I have my faults and struggles and I’m not perfect, but I’m a hell of a father and I loved you. You said it yourself that you would never have to worry about me cheating on you.
I think you feel guilt. You expressed that tonight, but I don’t think you feel remorse. You weren’t asking for forgiveness. I’m fact, you preemptively said that you didn’t expect it!
I am so unbelievably sad, angry, and betrayed. I would have been willing to work through anything (even the fucking infidelity!) to preserve our family. You’re naive if you think you can hurt someone this bad and then get the relationship you want and on your terms.
You also destroyed all the good memories I had of us. I can’t look back on our marriage without seeing through the lens of suspicion. I don’t even know what was real. I know what I felt was real and that’s about it.
You probably have already stopped reading this and I’m 100% sure you’re not brave enough to respond. I have held back for nearly 6 months and I can’t anymore. What you did was fucking terrible. It is the worst thing anyone has ever done to me. It is the worst thing that has ever happened to me. I never knew this depth of sorrow was possible. Washing someone’s dishes while they planned their next conference-fuck-fest via text standing 6ft away from me. Crying because my entire world was falling apart and seeing the look of irritation on your face as you walk silently by. Barely holding on to existence and having to psych myself up because you had invited friends over for dinner and when I said I couldn’t do it, you said “do whatever you want”. You fucking hated me for reasons you invented. You were working as hard as you could to villainize me to live with yourself. The absolute contempt and complete loss of respect you had to have for me. Do yourself a favor and pick up a book on infidelity. Everything you did was ON SCRIPT! You’ll learn a lot about yourself. It takes a special broken person to cheat.
I’m climbing out to the other side of this one rung at a time. Your going to see a complete different person that isn’t going to be walked all over and taken advantage of. I will not be a doormat. I will speak my mind. I will not be afraid to stand up for the things that I want and need to be happy and healthy.
You are losing a really good man. Maybe you’ll never realize that. Maybe you don’t give a fuck. Maybe it’s not even a loss to you. I am the fucking prize here Keri. I am a smart, charming, motivated, good looking, and now fit/healthy surgeon who is an excellent father and wants more kids. I am the fucking prize. You don’t see that for some reason.
I’m around if you want to talk.
Kind regards,
Me

Reddit Account: aelfin
Discord Tag: Bolt1219
Name and House: Dorian Hightower
Age: 80
Cultural Group: Reachman
Appearance: Once tall and strong and proud -- a knight of renown -- the passage of time has seen fit to humble Dorian Hightower. The gold-brown hair of his youth has bleached to silver, his countenance marked by wrinkles. He wears his hair long, often unbound that it frames his features. His beard is neatly styled. Despite the betrayal of his body, Dorian's eyes remain sharp and quick, and his smile is that of a younger man.
Trait: Mastermind
Skill(s): Devious(e), Espionage(e), Assassin
Talent(s): Napping, Meandering, Gardening
Negative Trait(s): Sickly
Starting Title(s): Beacon of the South, Defender of Oldtown, Defender of the Citadel, Lord of Oldtown, Lord of the Hightower, Lord of the Port, Voice of Oldtown
Starting Location: Starting Event
Alternate Characters: n/a
Biogaphy Early Life
In 55BC, under a golden sun in the bustling city of Oldtown, Dorian Hightower was born the second son to Lord Leyton Hightower and his wife Leona Bulwer. His early childhood was marked by a sense of curiosity and an inherent noble pride that was expected of a Hightower; against a backdrop filled with the sounds of the bustling harbour, the smell of the sea, and the sight of a forest of sails coming and going. Oft he would watch the ships as they sailed away and wondered where they went
From a young age, Dorian showed a keen interest in learning and the world around him. His education was that expected of one of his lineage; lessons with the Maester were as important as that of his martial education. At just ten, he was sent to Highgarden to squire for House Gardener. There, amidst the vibrant gardens and rich traditions of the Reach, he learned the values of chivalry, honour, and the importance of duty. His time at Highgarden left a lasting impression on him, fostering a deep respect for the knightly traditions that would shape his later life -- which would make the later actions of the Tyrells sting all the more,
At one-and-seven, Dorian’s path took a scholarly turn. Sent to study at the Citadel, immersed in the halls of knowledge, he began forging his maester's chain, dedicating himself to the studies of copper for history, bronze for astronomy, and iron for warcraft. His mentors noted a sharp intellect and strategic mind, qualities that would serve him well in the years to come.
The Heir to the Hightower
In 35 BC, a marriage united Dorian with Leila Tarly, a match both strategic and affectionate. At the age of twnety Dorian became a father, welcoming his first child, Garlan, into the world. Over the years, the Hightower family grew with the births of Garmund, Delena, Owen, and Lynesse. Each child brought new joy and responsibility, shaping Dorian into a devoted father and a wise lord.
The Stranger visited the Hightowers in 20 BC, when Dorian's older brother, Leyton, the heir to the Hightower, was lost in a shipwreck while returning from a journey to Braavos. At five-and-twenty, Dorian was thrust into the role of heir, a position he had not anticipated. Embracing his new responsibilities with determination, he began learning the intricacies of rule, administration, and justice from his father. Living in Oldtown, the heart of the Faith of the Seven, also imparted a deep spiritual awareness in Dorian. The more he learned, the more he was put into positions of authority. Initially undertaking a role as his father's Steward, Dorian learned quickly that he was much too bored by numbers to be anything close to competent. He was better at dealing with people.
Through his dealings his network grew, and this network, he recognised, could be turned toward the flow of information. The ships he had watched as a boy carried trade, but they also carried words from half the world away. If he could find a way to hear those words before any else, he'd have an advantage -- not only in trade, but in politics as well. Setting to work, Dorian used his House's name to tour as often as he could, finding those in key places that would serve his ends for the right price.
Life and Trials
As the head of House Hightower, Dorian instilled in his family a profound sense of fairness and the importance of knightly traditions. He stressed the values of chivalry and gallantry, ensuring that these principles were deeply rooted in the Hightower legacy. His household became known for its adherence to these values, earning respect and admiration throughout the Reach.
He was an avid hunter, frequently organising grand hunting expeditions in the lands surrounding Oldtown. Not merely for sport, these hunts also served as opportunities to bond with his children and vassals. One notable hunt saw Dorian bring down a formidable stag, a feat that became legendary in his household.
Dorian’s daughter Delena married Harlan Tyrell after a secret tryst, a match that Dorian did not initially support but ultimately was forced to accept. His youngest daughter, Lynesse, found a husband in Willem Ryger. A man whom Dorian had mentored in the art of espionage, and who would later go on to prove the most succesful spymaster in the country.
Feasts at the Hightower were grand affairs, known throughout the Reach for their opulence and hospitality. Dorian believed in the power of communal gatherings, often using these occasions to strengthen alliances and resolve disputes. The harvest feast was a particularly notable event, drawing his vassals to Oldtown to celebrate the bounty of the land, and to reaffirm their loyalty to House Hightower.
From the Ashes:
Family life, however, was not without its hardships, and the Hightowers not immune to tragedy. The House faced a profound loss when Garlan, Dorian's eldest son, was killed on the Field of Fire, turned to ash by dragonfire. This tragedy left Garlan's young son, Gwayne, as Dorian's heir, a heavy burden for the grieving boy to bear at such a young age. By then Dorian was a man nearing his sixtieth decade, not young by any stretch, and so particularly attension was paid to Gwayne's education near to the exclusion of all else. A small army of learned men were brought in to cover every aspect that would eventually be required of him. Dorian hardly went anywhere without his grandson in tow. The Seven Kingdoms might have been united, but the dawn of this new age was eclipsed by Dorian's fears that he would pass before his heir was ready, and he had known many a House felled by the poorly equipped.
Dorian levied from Lord Hightower against House Costayne of having refused the call to rally at Oldtown, backed by the word of the High Septon. A host marched on Three Towers but was met with denial from Lord Costayne who eventually demanded a trial by combat. Gyles Gardener offered himself as champion, and for his victory was given rule over Three Towers, with the fallen lord’s kin being exiled to Essos. Aegon Targaryen was crowned in the Starry Sept upon their return.
In 8AC, a band of sellswords by the name of the Black Roses arrived in Oldtown, headed up by Harlon Costayne, offering cheap mercenaries for the city and protection for its trade. Dorian put to them a challenge, a trial by combat to determine if the Seven stood with the Roses. Pit against a knight of Oldtown, the Black Roses emerged the victorious party, and Dorian issued them leave to remain so long as they served the Reach and her interests.
25AC
Life is a loan, and eventually all men's accounts are settled in full. Having passed into his eightieth year, Dorian Hightower knows the end is nearing for him. Age wracks his body, though his mind remains sharp. He has prepared his grandson as best as he could have done, and all that remains is the wait until his last, content in the knowledge. For the first time in a decade, the Lord of the Hightower has descended from his perch and travels towards King's Landing.
Timeline:
55 BC - Birth of Dorian Hightower

• Born in Oldtown under a golden sun, second son to Lord Leyton Hightower and Leona Bulwer.
• Early childhood filled with curiosity and noble pride, amidst the bustling harbor and forest of sails.

45 BC - Dorian Sent to Highgarden

• At ten, Dorian begins to squire for House Gardener at Highgarden.
• Learns values of chivalry, honor, and duty which leave a lasting impression.

38 BC - Scholarly Pursuits at the Citadel

• At seventeen, Dorian studies at the Citadel.
• Forges his maester's chain with links of copper (history), bronze (astronomy), and iron (warcraft).

35 BC - Marriage to Leila Tarly

• Dorian marries Leila Tarly, a strategic and affectionate match.

35 BC - 30 BC - Birth of Children

• Garlan Hightower is born when Dorian is twenty.
• Followed by Garmund, Delena, Owen, and Lynesse over the next five years.

20 BC - Death of Leyton Hightower

• Dorian's older brother Leyton dies in a shipwreck, making Dorian the heir at twenty-five.
• Dorian starts learning rule, administration, and justice from his father, becoming his Steward.

15 BC - 10 BC - Expansion of Dorian's Network

• Dorian uses House Hightower's name and tours frequently to build a network for intelligence.

10 BC - Dorian Becomes Lord Hightower

• Dorian instills values of fairness and knightly traditions in his family.
• Known for organizing grand hunting expeditions and legendary feats.

5 BC - Marriage of Daughters

• Delena marries Harlan Tyrell after a secret tryst.
• Lynesse marries Willem Ryger, a man mentored by Dorian.

5 BC - 1 BC - Grand Feasts and Gatherings

• Feasts at the Hightower are renowned for their opulence and hospitality.
• The harvest feast draws vassals to Oldtown to celebrate and reaffirm loyalty.

0 AC - Tragedy at the Field of Fire

• Garlan, Dorian's eldest son, is killed in battle.
• Garlan's son, Gwayne, becomes Dorian's heir, leading to intense focus on his education.

5 AC - Conflict with House Costayne

• Dorian accuses House Costayne of refusing to rally at Oldtown.
• A host marches on Three Towers; Lord Costayne demands trial by combat.
• Gyles Gardener wins and takes rule over Three Towers.

8 AC - Arrival of the Black Roses

• The Black Roses, a sellsword company, arrives in Oldtown.
• Dorian issues them a trial by combat; they emerge victorious and are allowed to stay.

25 AC - Dorian Prepares for the End

• Travels to King's Landing for the first time in a decade, content with his preparations.

AC
Name and House: Gwayne Hightower
Age: 30
Cultural Group: Reachman
Appearance: Gwayne stands the perfect example of the Hightower ideal; in him are the echoes of his father and his grandfather and the knightly traditions of the Hightower. He boasts hazel-hued eyes that are dominant green, alight with curiosity. His hair seems to shfit between a gold and a shade dark brown dependant on the light. Oft seen in the colours of his house; smoke greys cut with whites or greens.
Trait: Champion,
Skill(s): Swords, Andal Knight(e)
Talent(s): Hunting, Hawking, Harp
Negative Trait(s): n/a
Starting Title(s): Heir to the Hightower, Ser
Starting Location: Starting Event
Alternate Characters:n/a
Family Tree: https://www.familyecho.com/#view:SZ32K
Biography:
Born in 5BC, the firstborn son to Garlan Hightower, Gwayne was bathed in a viridescent light, anointed with the seven oils and named in the rainbow of light that filled the sept in the Hightower. This act alone is reserved for the heirs to the Hightower, a ceremony to mark them from birth as defenders of the Faith. His early life was a happy one, though he recalls little of the time. His mother and father were truly in love. Only two years later after his birth would his brother follow, and their two sisters after them. His grandfather's hall and hearth was filled with the laughter of children.
It was Garlan Hightower who held command of the Hightower host the fateful day that dragonfire swept across the Field of Fire, who perished there on the field, and whose bones were turned to ash and no longer able to be laid to rest. Gwayne was too young to grasp the reality of it, and before long his Grandfather had him learning with such intensity that he hardly had time to process the fact his father wasn't coming home.
Life turned into a steady routine of learning. His lessons consisted of how to act at court, his histories, his number and letters, and martial training in the yard. He would be woken before the dawn and not be permitted to bed until the sun had slipped away and night had fallen. Recklessly bold, oft he would attempt to climb the exterior of the Hightower and be scolded for the act if discovered.
His first true test at arms came when in the form of pirates. They had made their home in a cove and would strike out at ships fat and ripe with goods. Gwayne rode out with a small band of men, headed up by his uncle, Owen. For a week they scoured the coastline looking for signs of their quarry, and eventually, one night, sky unclouded and stars bright, they saw the fires. Come the dawn the charge of the Reachmen sent the pirates srambling for their weapons, and though they put up a fight, they were cut down to a man and their ships burned. Of those that surrendered, they would hang at the port in Oldtown as a stark reminder. For his bravery Gwayne was given their Valyrian Steel sword, Vigilance, upon his return.
He would seek out his glory in the lists after that, travelling the length of the Seven Kingdoms looking to make his name as a knight. Tourney followed tourney, but at each stop he remembered to paya visit to the local Sept and offer prayer. He lent a hand where he could. Sometimes he found friends, sometimes he found foe.
When the Orphans of the Fire descended on the Reach, Gwayne wished to march out and chase them down, but Dorian refused him -- and as well he did, for the chaos wrought by the Orphans might have claimed him, and Dorian was adamant that he would not lose another heir to fire. The inaction rankled at Gwayne, but he heeded his grandfather's words all the same.
Now, in 25AC, with Dorian ailing and a celebration called, Gwayne travels toward the event and prepares himself for what may come.
Timeline: 5 BC - Birth of Gwayne Hightower

• Born as the firstborn son to Garlan Hightower in the Hightower.
• Anointed with the seven oils and named in a ceremony reserved for heirs, marking him as a defender of the Faith.

3 BC - Birth of Gwayne's Brother

• Gwayne's brother is born, followed by two sisters, filling their grandfather's hall with children's laughter.

0 AC - Death of Garlan Hightower

• Gwayne's father, Garlan, perishes in the Field of Fire.
• Gwayne, too young to fully understand, is immersed in intense learning by his grandfather, Dorian Hightower.

1 AC - 15 AC - Intensive Education and Martial Training

• Gwayne's routine includes court etiquette, history, numbers, letters, and martial training.
• Known for his reckless boldness, he often attempts to climb the exterior of the Hightower.

15 AC - First Test of Arms Against Pirates

• Gwayne rides out with his uncle Owen and a small band of men to combat pirates.
• After a week, they locate and defeat the pirates, hanging the survivors in Oldtown.
• Gwayne is awarded the Valyrian Steel sword, Vigilance, for his bravery.

16 AC - 23 AC - Knighthood and Tournament Circuit

• Gwayne travels the Seven Kingdoms seeking glory in jousting tournaments.
• Pays visits to local Septs to offer prayers and help where needed, making friends and foes along the way.

20 AC - Orphans of the Fire Incident

• The Orphans of the Fire descend on the Reach.
• Gwayne wishes to march out but is restrained by Dorian, preventing potential harm.

25 AC - Current Events

• With Dorian ailing, Gwayne prepares for a celebration in King's Landing, aware of the responsibilities and challenges ahead.

First of all, my heart goes to all who are within the cycle of a relationship with a pwBPD. I have been there and am now sane enough to talk about it objectively.
We spend a lot of time trying to understand their behavior or trying to understand our own behavior creating self doubts. (For Example: Will they Hoover, What are they thinking, Did i mean anything, Monkeybranching, Cheating, the list goes on)
In a healthy relationship introspection and understanding other persons perspectives and communicating respectfully while resolving issues is the norm.
The reality is in front of you i.e. YOU DO NOT HAVE A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP.
It is very rare/hard and almost impossible to make a unhealthy/toxic relationship become healthy again. If anything please understand that.
The longer you linger in an unhealthy relationship the more HARM it will cause you in more ways than one. Some of us are stuck in them due to marriage or kids or very hard reasons.
If you are blessed with a discard, trust me it is a BLESSING (i know you wont believe me now), cherish it, take it and run with it without ever looking back.
These are the only three things you need to UNDERSTAND:

1. Accept it is a toxic relationship.
2. You want to be in a healthy relationship, mindspace, etc
3. Block and No contact

Anything short of it, the ONLY person you are cheating and robbing happiness is out of YOURSELF!
Again, my heart goes out to everyone in the middle of these situations but there is no middleground in toxic relationships, the only way to have peace in a toxic relationship is exit and do not look back.

First of all, I want to thank
CodingOnCaffeine
for their post. I cannot comment anymore but it was super helpful. Make sure to check it out as it is very comprehensive. I pretty much submitted everything they mentioned. We applied in NY for a marriage based green card in Sept 2023 (sent to USCIS Chicago lockbox). We got married in August 2023 and had been together for 4 years. I (Beneficiary) came to study to the US from Mexico in 2020 on a student visa and was on OPT STEM when applying. My husband (Petitioner) is an American citizen.
Checking the timeline on USCIS wasn't dependable as it would change from a 4 month wait to 2 months and then 4 again. We would also check this website and we could see who was getting approved and when they had applied. We tried not to check every day as we realized it caused us a lot of anxiety. What ultimately helped us was contacting our Senator and within a month we received the approval notice (no RFE and no interview). We received approval on April 25th '24 and the physical card on May 6th '24 (9 month wait total).
Here's what we included in our package:
1. G-1145 (also included one with each form)
2. I-130 (husband petitioning for me) a)Cover letter b) Check c) 2 Passport photos (husband) Form I-130 Form I-130a a) Copy of Petitioner's (husband) birth certificate b) Copy of P's passport c) Copy Marriage certificate d) Relationship statement f) Third-party affidavits from family/friends (5) g) Copy current joint lease h) Copy previous joint leases i) Evidence of joint checking and savings accounts j) P's investment account's beneficiary k) Copy of joint car insurance l) Copy of Beneficiary's (wife) emergency contact from employer m) Copy of B's individual statement account n) Joint travel documents o) Phone records p) Venmo transactions q) Splitwise transactions r) PPT of photos s) Whatsapp conversations t) Wedding caterer invoice
3. Form I-485 a) Cover letter b) Check (I-485 and biometrics services fee) c) 2 Passport photos (wife) Form I-485 a) Copy of B's (wife) passport and visa b) Copy of expired passport with previous visas c) Copy of B's birth certificate (with official English translation) d) Copy of B's most recent I-94 record and visa entry stamp e) Marriage certificate f) Copy of B's current EAD g) Copy of B's offer letter from current employer h) Copy of B's current and previous I-20 forms Form I-864 a) Copy of P's previous W-2s b) Copy of P's federal taxes (2 years) c) Explanations of P's lack of federal tax returns in 2020 (while a student) d) Copy of P's offer letter from current employer e) Copy of P's pay slips from previous employer f) Copy of P's offer letter from previous employer g) Copy of P's birth certificate as proof of US citizenship h) Copy of first page of P's passport as proof of US citizenship i) Copy of B's pay slips (3 months) j) Copy of B's W-2 k) Copy of B's 1040
4. Form I-765 (employment authorization - just in case green card didn't arrive on time - STEM OPT expiration date was Sept '24) a) Copy of most recent I-94 record and visa entry stamp b) Copy of passport and visa pages c) Copy of F1-OPT STEM EAD card
5. Form I-693 (medical examination and vax record)

• Eva Galstian in NY ($150 if paid in cash)
• DO NOT OPEN ENVELOPE

Make sure to keep a copy of everything and keep it as orderly as possible. From what I've read this helps with the process in general and in case you get a RFE. I read as much as I could online and watched Youtube videos explaining how to fill out each form. I also kept a Google sheet where I could track everything and add helpful links. You need a lot of time to check and re-check everything, get translations notarized, get affidavits, etc. so give yourself plenty of time. As stressful as the whole thing was, I enjoyed going back to our relationship and revisiting old photos and messages. Reading affidavits from our close ones also made me tear up. I do feel like I aged 10 years during the process and had a lot of anxiety so know that you're not alone! I will try to answer questions but I am not a lawyer and did the whole process w/o one, again - just reading online and getting information from USCIS.gov.

Hello everyone! I have to confess that I spend more time in this subreddit than I would like to admit lol.
I came to the US under a J-1 Visa and then I changed my status to an F-1 (my now husband was my sponsor for it).
We got married a week ago and I'm trying to get all my paperwork together to start my GC process, so far this is what I have:

• Financial: Joint bank account, we are both authorized users of each other's credit cards, he is my financial boarding and school sponsor for my school, and he sends me money every month for my expenses.
  
• Joint ownership of a car and shared insurance.
  
• Proof of living together: We lived together for a couple of months and we have DL matching, mail, a lease under his name on that address, and all my previous documentation for USCIS was under that address. We were doing long distance for 6 months but we have flights tickets and photos to prove that we were seeing each other. Now we have a new address and we have a matching DL all our documentation is under the same address and a joint lease + Amazon orders etc.
  
• Proof of Bona Fide relationship-marriage: + 50 pictures (not that many with family or friends) but we do have some trips together, wedding and honeymoon pictures, and different events like soccer games, dinners (and reservations for it). Couple of social media posts, call logs, facetime screenshots, and screenshots of our conversations since we started dating (one for each month). We also have itineraries for our trips, hotel bookings, gift receipts, expensive dinner recepicts, Spotify, Amazon, and Instacart shared accounts, BFF on Snapchat screenshots.
  
• 4 Affidavits from friends (I heard that USCIS doesn't like family affidavits).
  

It will that on top of the forms and the other type of paperwork that is mandatory.
What do y'all think is this enough or do I need to consider something else?

Bethesda turned on play options that include what are presumably de-nerfed environmental effects. The system is, at best, opaque. Here is what I've determined so far...

1. It is different from damage resistance in how it works. From what I've read online, DR works as a flat reduction in incoming damage from the various damage types with a cap at 85%. This post on the other forum breaks it down:

https://www.reddit.com/Starfield/comments/16p8uph/this_is_how_damage_reductionresistancearmor_works/
The algorithm doesn't seem like it would make sense when applied to suit environmental protections.
2) Speaking of numbers -- the vast majority of spacesuits have a total of 60 resistance spread across the four threats. Packs and helmets each have 30, for a total of 120 for a full suit of the same type. A few, like the Mark I and Gran-Gran's, are slightly better. Individual values for each type tend to max at 30/20/20, for a total of 70 protection from a baseline set optimized for one element. A full set of deep mining gear will provide 70 airborne resistance, for examples.
NOTE: Starborn suits have higher values than this, giving 50 resistance to everything.
Legendary effects can boost a single resistance by 25. Three legendary pieces for a set optimum for a threat could theoretically provide a resistance of 145 versus a single threat.
You can modify your pack but not your helmet or suit to enhance resistances -- the Hazard Protection enhances all of the resistances, but I'm not sure if it is fixed for all packs or varies based on type or quality of the armor. Testing would need to be done for that.
3) Anecdotally speaking based on play, environmental protection appears to be ablative. In other words, your level of protection erodes over time. Your equipment will beep repeatedly at a faster rate of speed until your protection goes away. At that point, you start taking environmental damage and run the risk of afflictions.
The afflictions you suffer depend upon the type of threat, e.g., radiation can result in radiation poisoning or burns. It seems mostly rational in that respect.
The magnitude of the threat can vary. Protection might slowly degrade, but exposure to a potent source can immediately wipe out your protection.
Protection regenerates when you are in a "safe" location. This appears to be inside any building with an airlock or your ship (or when you move out of the environment entirely, e.g., fast travelling to Jemison). The game is NOT sophisticated enough to take things like overhead cover into account. Some POIs don't have airlocks and don't provide cover from things like solar radiation even if you have a roof over your head. (Side note: equipment in Starfield MUST have self-repair functions; you would suffocate the first time you got shot in vacuum if this wasn't the case; I'm going to assume this is a standard feature for making space travel reasonably safe for the average person.)
Weather events can change the threat level. Sandstorms and precipitation can definitely increase the threat.
The actual temperature that appears on your watch doesn't seem to directly correlate to things like extreme cold warnings. The characteristics of the planet, including the need for levels in planetary habitation to settle it, does not seem to directly correlate, either. It is possible that these factors are part of it, but you won't necessarily get the same level of thermal threat on two different Deep Freeze worlds.
4) Again anecdotally, it seems that further exposure can worsen the prognosis of existing afflictions. It also seems like having an affliction can make you more vulnerable to obtaining new ones. Using medicine to improve your prognosis is wasteful if you aren't regenerating your protection, as the prognosis will quickly degrade again.
There appear to be multiple severity levels that apply stronger debuffs as well. The "severe" levels of an affliction seem to replace the lower level. Healing does not change the severity back to a lighter level -- it solely improves the prognosis. You can progress from frostbite to severe frostbite, but healing can't reverse that progression.
5) You absolutely can die from environmental damage. It is not like O2/CO2 damage that stops at 10% health. You can also get persistent damage over time effects that will prevent you from resting or fast travelling.
CONCLUSIONS AND FURTHER RESEARCH

• The environmental protection is not just a damage reduction. You clearly have immunity that is wearing down over time.
• Threats vary in strength, so I think it likely that specific threats have a numeric strength that is in some way compared to your protection. That ratio likely directly impacts the time before you start taking damage.
• Threats can be either ambient, i.e., you're "outside" on a world map, or based on proximity, i.e., you submerge part of your body in water, stand over a vent, etc.
• Ambient effects can change in strength. Weather events are obvious sources. It's possible that other factors may play a role, e.g., solar flares, day vs. night, etc. Additional testing would need to be done (or we get a straight answer from Bethesda).
• It is unclear if there is a threshold of resistance that negates an environmental threat. This is definitely an area worth testing. For example, if my thermal protection is wearing down at 30, would it still wear down at 70 but more slowly? Is there a protection number that is just considered "fully protected?"

WHAT I WOULD LIKE TO SEE

• While we don't need actual numbers, it would be nice if the game would alert you to a weak, strong, or moderate ambient threat before you leave the airlock so you can prepare accordingly.
• Planetary scan data should have some indication of potential threats from the environment. EDIT: Before people chime in with, "it tells you about dangerous water, temperature, and atmospheric toxins," let me clarify that I want something MORE explicit, like "moderate radiation threats common." In a setting with casual planetary travel, it would absolutely be more idiot proof.
• A change in ambient threat level should be forecast with something like, "Warning: Incoming Sandstorm."
• Your scanner should absolutely be capable of highlighting proximity threats. If I'm pointing at a highly irradiated body of water, the scanner should be like, "Dude, don't go in there."
• POIs should have some kind of icon indicating they provide protection from ambient effects. Sarah had dialogue that seeking shelter in a cave can be useful, but entering one didn't allow my suit protection to regenerate.
• Revise the resistances on clothing and armor items to be more sensible. A hazmat suit shouldn't have less radiation protection than an engineering outfit. It's clear a lot of this was hand-waved as not important when they decided to nerf the environmental effects.

(Throwaway account, because I mostly use reddit for work-related topics).
Me (37M) and my wife (35F) have been married for 14 years. We met when we were both in college, she studied literature, I studied engineering and was getting into tech. We were dating for two years when she got pregnant and we decided to get married and start a family. We decided together that I would work and she would be a SAHM because it would be difficult for her to find a well-paying job with her major, and I was already starting to earn quite well. I've also always had a fairly conservative approach to family life and I was happy to be a sole provider. She always wanted to be a mom and was looking forward to being a SAHM.
Right now our children are 14 and 12 years old, I have a good job and my wife stays home taking care of the house. This arrangement has always suited her, but recently she has begun to mention that she feels a bit lonely and lacks friends, especially now that the children are older and she has more time to herself. Indeed, our social life mostly consisted of meetings with my work colleagues and their wives whom my wife can hardly call "friends." That's why I was happy at first when my wife ran into her best friend from college, let’s call her Anna. According to my wife they got along so well as if they didn’t have an almost 14-year old break in contact (when my wife got pregnant she drifted apart from her college friends). They started meeting for coffee quite often. When my wife returned from these meetings she was overjoyed and excited and told me a lot about Anna. It was then that I began to worry.
During the time my wife had no contact with her, Anna got her PhD in literature, started teaching at the university, and became the editor of one of the most important cultural magazines in our country. Her husband is an award-winning writer, apparently very well recognized (it's hard for me to say anything about this, as I have no idea about literature). They earn well, do not have and do not want children, and basically lead a carefree lifestyle completely different from ours: they have lots of friends from their literary-academic circle, consider these friends "family" and go several times a week to various author meetings, galas, gallery openings, and god knows what else. From what I've gathered, they are also much more progressive and liberal than I am, for example, they divide all their chores and bills 50/50 and they have a mixed-gender group of friends - Anna is friends with men and her husband with women, which I always considered inappropriate in a serious relationship.
My wife invited Anna and her husband for dinner because she really wanted me to meet them - she hoped we would both start going to all these cultural events with them. They were very polite and respectful, and didn't comment in any way on the differences in our lifestyles, but dinner was nevertheless quite tiresome for me, as I didn't have any common topics with them. My wife knows that I don't share her passion for literature (just as she doesn't share my interest in technology), but this has never been an issue in our marriage - we traveled together, went on bike trips, went to our favorite restaurants and movies, etc. I didn't understand why she suddenly wants this to change.
Anna started taking my wife to some of the literary events organized by her magazine and also invited her to write a couple of reviews for a column she is running (she apparently sees great potential in my wife and appreciates her insight) - which my wife accepted with great joy. I was torn: on the one hand, I was happy that my wife didn't feel alone and that she had something to do when the kids are at school or with their friends. On the other hand, I was afraid that I was losing my wife - that she would turn into someone else under Anna's influence. I was also afraid that other men will hit on her at the events Anna invites her to (even though my wife repeats that all of Anna's friends know that she is married and a mother, they never cross any boundaries and always speak of her family with respect).
I finally told my wife that I was uncomfortable with her friendship with Anna, that I was afraid this relationship would change her for the worse and that she would no longer care about our marriage and children. I said that I can’t forbid her to do antyhing, but that I would feel much better if she didn't go to all these events with Anna and if she didn't accept an offer to write reviews for her magazine. My wife said that the friendship with Anna is very important to her, that she had been feeling depressed lately spending most of the day at home all alone, and that contact with people with whom she can talk about things she’s passionate about has made her feel significantly better. I promised to her that I will work less and that I will spend more time with her. I also repeated that I cannot forbid her to see Anna and her friends but that this friendship really makes me uncomfortable. She was sad but understood me and said that she will stop spending time with Anna.
Yesterday, I talked to my older brother (whose advice I always appreciate) about this situation. He said that me and my wife married really young and that it’s understandable that she might feel like she’s missing out on things outside family life. He also said that the only way to make sure that my wife is with me because she really loves me and not because she’s just stuck with me and has no other options, is to give her freedom to spend time with other people, even though it makes me uncomfortable. It really made me think and question my own behavior. I really don’t want to be a person who limits my wife’s freedom, but I also don’t want to be tempting fate in order to see if she really loves me. It would break my heart to lose her and maybe deep inside I feel like she would leave me if she had any other options, so I don’t want her to have these options. I feel like shit. AITAH?

This thread is ONLY for items that dropped on this Thursday. Please do not post the rest of the stuff you have for sale in this post; it will be removed by a mod.
IF YOU ARE SELLING FOLLOW THESE BULLET POINTS:

• Format for selling
  • [WTS] Item name size price [Link to tagged photo]
• Have a Tagged Photo of your verification or item in hand
  • if the item is in hand: have your username on a physical piece of paper within the shot of the item/s you are selling.
  • If this was an online order: destroy the verification screenshot by putting your user tag across the entire image. This is for proof of purchase but also to reduce the chances of others using your image to scam.
  • example of tagged verification
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  • set a price, do not ask for offers.

IF YOU ARE TRADINGTreat trades like sale posts but state that you want to trade and what you want to trade it for.

Not following these rules will result in your immediate ban from this sub.

Hi,
In case anyone is curious, and for some brief background info, my business model is to sell game accounts. licensed, brand new copies of the game accounts, that are purchased from legitimate sources. I do not sell cracked accounts. Everything is done by the book. Pretty much the same thing as what one would receive when buying from G2G, for example.
I have had my stripe account since 2021, where they closed it within a month citing it fell under prohibited business category. I appealed and then they asked for all sorts of proof, such as supplier invoices, proof of what I'm selling, evidence that it is licensed copy of the game and not a bootleg, etc.
After some back and forth for a month, account got reinstated.
Been using the account since then, and haven't had any issues.
Dispute % is kept below 0.4%
3D Secure required for EVERY SINGLE PAYMENT made on my website since March - May 2022 (cant remember exactly when we added it). For example: Request 3DS if :amount_in_usd: > 1, and all sorts of block rules set up to combat fraud. Haven't really had any problems with fraud charges, as far as I can tell ever since 3DS was made compulsory.
All orders are fulfilled automatically and immediately once payment is made.

Fast forward today, I received an email saying the account got closed with this reason:

Unfortunately, following an additional review of your account, we’re still unable to support your business as it falls under one of our restricted businesses categories ( https://stripe.com/restricted-businesses ).
We’re sorry we can’t be of more help, but these restrictions are firm.
So I am trying to appeal, but it seems to be getting nowhere as customer support is unable to help. Is there any recourse for me to have it appealed?
I've been selling the same stuff for the past 3-4 years, so its really confusing and stressful to be undergoing all these out of the blue again.
If anyone can help provide some advice / insight, I'll greatly appreciate it.

(continuation of part 4)
I already considered this piece the second greatest musical evidence for Clerith after the London Symphony Orchestra’s Final Fantasy VII Symphony’s second movement “Words Drowned by Fireworks” and its guide, but now that I know about the Clerith reunion that was baked into the ending, the gap between the two is narrower. Each time I hear Cloud begin to call out for Aerith in part 3 (3:04), I immediately start crying. It sounds so much to me like Cloud’s voice in the dark saying “Aerith…?”, meek and scared. If you’ve read everything so far, you know how long Cloud has been looking for Aerith, lost without her, searching relentlessly for decades in real-life time. Through FFT, DFF, Advent Children, MFF x FFVII… all of it spent looking for his Promised Land. In OG, Cloud was so tormented by Jenova’s manipulation and so consumed by the chase for Sephiroth that he could not realize what or how much he felt for her until she was taken away forever. The piece we’ve just analyzed tells the story of Cloud and Aerith intertwining and separating against their will, and you can truly feel Cloud’s anxiety as he struggles to wrench Aerith out of fate’s cruel grasp. Perhaps it is because of Aerith’s ultimately fatal responsibility, inherited from her mother, that this iteration of her theme is called “The Cetra”.
Though in part 5, Cloud and Aerith reunite… could this reunion symbolize their meeting again in Remake, or something more permanent? I think it’s meant to leave us wondering.
I’m very sensitive to music, and as I’m typing this, I’m crying a bit. I wanted to share my interpretation of “Aerith’s Theme - The Cetra” with you very badly, because it makes me feel so much and really enhances Clerith’s story. I’m overjoyed to have found out about the reunion at the very end. And it’s all because you guys showed love for my last analysis! You guys are giving me gifts every day.
V. b) i. 3) Combined Analysis
Please listen to and watch the scene of Cloud’s MOTF 6 (4:21-8:46) again, and consider section “V. b) i. 2)”. What is Uematsu telling us? Similarly to how main world theme of FFVII informs us that Jenova is sabotaging Cloud’s identity far before it becomes a plot point in OG, “Aerith’s theme - The Cetra” is telling us what not even Remake Cloud consciously knows at this point: he’s been searching desperately for her, and fears losing her once more.
As if that wasn’t proof enough, the timing of the shots and musical phrases is absolutely damning. Recall that part 3 of “Aerith’s theme - The Cetra” specifically symbolizes Cloud’s anxiety surrounding Aerith’s safety. It is this particular part of the piece that plays for the entirety of Aerith’s allusions to her murderers and her death (7:25-7:54), including the very moment where “Cloud feels his chest constrict tightly” (7:51-7:54). What’s more, part 5 the piece, which specifically Cloud freeing Aerith from the restraints of fate, coincides with the moment Tifa grabs Aerith’s hand and pulls her out from the circle of Whispers closing in on her (8:42-8:45). This moment leads me to believe that the reunion in part 5 of the piece indeed symbolizes Cloud succeeding (perhaps with Tifa’s help) in saving Aerith from her tragic fate and reuniting with her for good.
It’s heart-wrenching and brilliant. Our theory stands strong.
V. b) ii. Credits: Piece Inclusion
I find it very telling that the character themes included in the credits of Remake are Cloud’s “Hollow” (0:00-5:24), an orchestral arrangement of Aerith’s theme (5:24-9:24), and an orchestral arrangement of the main world theme, (9:24-14:27) which of course includes Cloud’s true theme. No other character themes appear during the rest of the credits (14:27-18:09). This is telling: the credits are communicating to us that Remake is about Cloud and Aerith. Our Mission Theory only gets stronger.
V. b) iii. Showing Relationships Through Music: Intermingling Character Themes
This doesn’t have to do with the Mission, but here’s a pretty good anti-Cloti argument while we’re here.
As shown in section “V. a) i.” where we explored the roles of Cloud, Jenova and Sephiroth’s themes within the FFVII world theme, the way character themes interact in a piece can tell you a lot about those characters’ relationships. This is certainly the case in “Aerith’s Theme - The Cetra” as well (see section “V. b. ii. 2)”).
I’d like to mention that in all of my listening to the Remake OST and rewatching playthroughs of Remake, I’ve never encountered a single piece that united Cloud and Tifa’s themes. Not once. Let alone a piece that depicts them as intimately or emotionally as “Aerith’s Theme - The Cetra” depicts Cloud and Aerith. Even the most Cloti cutscenes in Remake aren’t supported by pieces mixing or even juxtaposing Cloud and Tifa’s themes. I can’t find any of Cloud’s motifs anywhere during the orchestral arrangement of Tifa’s theme that plays during her resolution scene in chapter 14. I can’t find either of their motifs in the track the plays when Cloud calls Tifa beautiful at Seventh Heaven in chapter 3. A motif from Tifa’s theme does appear in the track that plays during the childhood promise scene in chapter 4, (0:00-0:25), but it never plays at the same time as or even near Cloud’s motifs (1:23-1:47 and 2:03-2:29). They’re distant or otherwise unaffiliated.
The only exception is that an altered version of Cloud’s theme’s section A phrase 1 appears in the background of Tifa’s theme (1:17-1:23). This symbolizes her connection to Cloud and how much of her attention and worry revolve around him— a reference to how she cares so much that it borders on dependency. Of course, it doesn’t go both ways: Tifa isn’t in Cloud’s theme at all. To me, this lack of reciprocity concerning the inclusion of Cloud’s motif in Tifa’s theme signifies that the only time Cloud and Tifa are together is in her head. She does think about him a lot, which we witness in her chapter of Trace of Two Pasts. Tifa loses sleep over him even two years after he left Nibelheim, despite the fact that she barely knew him at all:

“The moment she heard the word “Soldier”, the few memories she had with Cloud Strife came flooding back. He never contacted her after they parted ways two years ago […]. She tossed and turned all night. When she counted them again, her memories with Cloud were so surprisingly few that others might find it hard to believe that they grew up as next-door neighbors” (Trace of Two Pasts, translated by pekotranslates on Tumblr).

FFVII Remake Ultimania also comments on the superficial nature of Cloud and Tifa’s water tower promise, and how regardless of its naïveté, it became fundamental to Tifa:

“Though rooted in a jejune heroine fantasy of being rescued in a pinch by her hero, this promise is clearly etched in Tifa’s memory” (Tifa’s profile in section 01 of “Character & World”, “An Enduring Childhood Promise” in “Topics of Tifa” page 20).

You could argue that “Aerith’s Theme - The Cetra” is only one song wherein Cloud and Aerith’s themes interweave, but you’d be proven wrong by the Rebirth OST…
V. c) The Rebirth OST
Unfortunately, the full Rebirth OST isn’t out and available where I can listen to it right now. However, based solely on the incomplete OST that’s available to me right now, I can tell you with certainty that the composers were told to incorporate Clerith into the musical storytelling: Cloud and Aerith’s themes intermingle in multiple pieces. I can’t imagine what else I’ll discover once I listen to the full OST. For now, I checked out what was available on YouTube and listened to cutscene audios. This section would be eternal if I included every time Cloud and Aerith’s motifs interact, especially in chapter 14. Trust me, I’d love to talk about every single one, but this thing is long enough already, so let’s just address what pertains to our Mission Theory specifically rather than stopping at every single Clerith reference in the OST.
V. c) i. Ending Cutscene Music
Ending cutscenes are often used to address the next step the characters will be taking as well as their emotional and mental state. They also open up new questions to make the player curious. Indeed, Rebirth’s ending cutscene (18:56-25:00) gives us an impression of how the party members feel by the end of the game: everyone misses Aerith. Barret looks upset and confused at the mention of her (19:35-19:45), the girls are crying and Nanaki is mourning (19:58-20:35). Additionally, we are shown the empty White Materia and Black Materia in Cloud’s possession (20:40-21:24), foreshadowing that they will come to be important in part 3. Cloud and Aerith share a warm goodbye, and exchange promises: Aerith will send smoke signals if something happens to her so a worried Cloud can remain updated on her well-being and she will stop Meteor, and Cloud will stop Sephiroth (23:00-25:00). The fact that this scene is animated in CGI is enough to tell us that the devs consider it narratively important, just like they do Bugenhagen’s observatory and the party’s advance into the Forgotten Capital CGI cutscenes. What did the composers decide to communicate with us about the end of Rebirth and the plot going forward?
Big surprise: Clerith.
During the entire cutscene, only two themes play: Cloud’s and Aerith’s. The cutscene’s music begins only when Cloud notices Aerith among the party members and begins watching her (19:21). She interacts with the rest of the party without their knowledge, different segments of her theme playing one after another. Her theme only stops when Cloud finally looks away from her and to the empty White Materia in his hand (20:45). The music focuses on the mystery and ominousness of these materia, only returning to Aerith once Cloud hears her voice and repeats her message to the party (21:30).
Cloud’s theme appears when he asserts that Barret needn’t worry about him (section A of Cloud’s true theme, 22:41), though soft and tentative, only swelling when Barret and Tifa climb aboard the Tiny Bronco and Cloud finds himself alone with Aerith again (22:57). As he asks Aerith if “[she’ll] be okay getting back” (23:08), the final phrase of section A of his theme plays, but without its concluding note, the tonic. He waits for her to answer him as his theme waits for hers to complete and answer it, that final note dragging long over the seconds (23:09-23:13). She answers with a teasing remark that references their unwillingness to part from each other back in Remake’s Evergreen Park:

“[Cloud has] a chat with Aerith, from whom he’s reluctant to part” (chapter 9 in section 04 “Scenario”, “Main Story Digest”, “4. Saying Goodbye”, page 275)”.

As soon as Aerith answers Cloud’s question with this romantic callback, her theme answers his too: section C of Aerith’s theme begins with the key’s tonic, resolving Cloud’s incomplete phrase (23:13): she gives him resolution. He chuckles, getting her reference, and the music swells (23:16). The music ebbs and flows thusly, following the rhythms and underlying emotions of their conversation. Finally, the piece ends with phrase 2 of of section A of Cloud’s true theme, following a strong repetition of the first half of Aerith’s theme’s section A. The two make their promises to each other, and “No Promises to Keep” begins, leading us to the credits. This is most definitely a Clerith song, but more on that later.
What this shows us is that Cloud and Aerith’s relationship is fundamental to the plot of Rebirth and will also be fundamental to the plot of part 3: they are isolated one one-on-one in this cutscene, and the music depicts their warm, sweet interaction as well as the strength of Aerith’s character to contrast with Cloud’s somewhat meek personality. The composers are telling us that these two, specifically, together alone, are hugely important to the plot here. This was already true in OG, but no such emphasis was ever placed on their interactions and relationship in its music. Something is different, deeper, more intense now. The Mission Theory explains why. It also suits our theory that the composers are emphasizing the centrality of Clerith in the plot of the Remake trilogy. Cloud’s love for Aerith is the reason for the trilogy’s existence, and it will be the greatest motivator for Cloud in part 3. It’s a grand announcement.
Just like in Remake, I could not find a single instance of Cloud and Tifa’s themes interacting in Rebirth, apart from at the end of the intimate Skywheel date— but every girl receives this treatment in their intimate dates, so each of these instances can be crossed out. Additionally, the Tifa date is not the canon one, but I digress…
V. c) iii. Credits

1. Piece Inclusion

Once more, I find it very telling that of all the pieces included in the credits of Rebirth, the only character themes are Cloud’s and Aerith’s. We start with a song about Aerith’s point of view to mirror *Remake’*s “Hollow”, “No Promises to Keep” (5:18-11:10), followed by the FFVII world theme (11:10-16:12) which of course contains Cloud’s true theme, then we move into a piece whose unofficially translated title is “Parade Battle Ceremony - The Dawn of a New World” as an arrangement of the parade ceremony theme from chapter 4 (16:12-19:03), followed by a theme for the Lifestream springs whose name I don’t have (19:03-21:38), “Junon - Fortified Metropolis” (21:38-24:28), and finally, a gorgeous arrangement of Aerith’s theme (24:28-28:47). No other character is referenced in the credits music: the credits are telling us Rebirth is about Clerith. Our Mission Theory explains why.
V. c) iii. 2) “No Promises to Keep”
At the very end of this song written and performed by Aerith, we’re treated with a sweet little piano conclusion (10:46-11:10): it begins with a variation on Aerith’s theme’s section A (10:46-11:01), and concludes with two ascending arpeggios, each four notes long (11:01-11:10). Each of these ascending arpeggios is a variation of the phrase 1 of Cloud’s true theme’s section A. The differences are minimal. The phrase is usually five notes long rather than four, the first arpeggio ends on the tonic rather than Cloud’s iconic subtonic, and the second arpeggio starts on the subtonic rather than the tonic. The song Aerith wrote concludes with Cloud’s most famous motif. This is also the case in her Gold Saucer performance (3:31-3:41).
V. c) iii. 3) Arrangement of Aerith’s Theme
The final piece in the credits is an arrangement of Aerith’s theme (24:28-28:47) which has noticeably similar elements to the version of her theme that plays during the Jenova Lifeclinger battle in chapter 14 (0:12-3:36), such as the female choirs. Since these female choirs are only heard in the Forgotten City version of Aerith’s theme, and since the credits arrangement of her theme plays at the same time as clips from her chapter 14 pseudo-death roll across the screen, I estimate that this credits arrangement specifically reflects the event of Aerith’s pseudo-death. Recall that composers had access to the credits video as they composed, meaning this piece is specifically written for Aerith’s pseudo-death in Rebirth.
What I find fascinating is that, just like the arrangements of her theme that play during Aerith’s pseudo-death and the Jenova Lifeclinger battle, this credits arrangement contains the sound of Cloud’s pain, rage and protest. Phrase 1 and the first three notes of phrase 2 of Cloud’s true theme section A play on the strings and brass quite loudly and insistently, just as Cloud blocking masamune appears on the credits screen (25:11-25:21). Sephiroth’s dissonant, high and screechy violins appear just as his face comes onto the screen (26:33), and almost as a protective response, phrases 1 and 2 of Cloud’s true theme’s section A return (26:47-27:00). Finally, similarly to what we hear in part 5 of “Aerith’s Theme - The Cetra”, a slightly modified section A phrase 1 of Cloud’s true theme play along with section C phrase 3 of Aerith’s theme (oh wow section A and C section Aerith for Cloud’s theme and section Cloud for Aerith’s theme I just realized that’s such a cute coincidence), though unfortunately they do not meet in the middle like last time since they start two octaves apart (28:20-28:25). I’ve recreated it for you once more here so you can really appreciate it. The fact that their motifs don’t truly reunite like in “Aerith’s Theme - The Cetra” is sad, but the very last thing you see onscreen is Aerith’s goodbye to the Tiny Bronco (27:10-27:42), so it makes sense that this piano conclusion implies that Cloud and Aerith aligned, but not yet reunited for good. That’s exactly what you get from the ending cutscene. It does seem to imply that they will be reunited in part 3, as both the ending cutscene and this piano conclusion read as a “till we see each other again” rather than a “farewell”.

VI. Textual Evidence

Now that the musical evidence is done, let’s compile some textual story evidence that supports our theory!
VI. a) Remake Trilogy (Thus Far) Handholding Explained?
As I’m sure you’ve noticed, handholding is a motif in Cloud and Aerith’s relationship— and an extremely symbolic one at that! When researching for info to validate my theory, I found that this Clerith motif was extremely helpful! Its inclusion in the Remake trilogy, and especially in Rebirth, is hugely significant in my eyes.
VI. a) i. Pre-Remake Trilogy: Aerith’s Initiative
Before examining the significance of Clerith handholding in Remake and Rebirth, we should establish the meaning of this motif in OG and Advent Children.
Cloud and Aerith have reached out to take each other’s hands many times since 1997. Aerith used to literally drag him by the hand a lot, shocking the cold and distant merc, before she left. After her death in OG, Cloud surely longed to be able to feel her hand take his again, cursing himself for not enjoying it while she was alive, and for never being the one to grasp her hand first: he never got to tell her how he feels about her, or to save her. It was always her reaching out for him, saving him.
This is why the scene in OG when Aerith reaches for him from the Lifestream after Cloud defeats Sephiroth in chapter 3 of disk 3 is so touching: Cloud sees her hand and reaches out to take it, so close to finally establishing that mutual connection, but she soon fades, and replaced by Tifa’s hand in the tangible world. He doesn’t get to hold Aerith’s hand again.
That is, not until Advent Children, where near the end of his battle with Bahamut Sin, he sees Aerith reach out to him once again (1:08-1:30). Cloud finally gets to hold her hand for the first time in two years when he lost her. This moment was given extra importance by the devs. In fact, Nojima told us the following:

“The ending scene of the battle with Bahamut, the scene where Aerith reaches out her hand, is an homage to the last scene from a previous production. It was [Nomura]'s idea” (FFVII Reunion Files, “Story Digest”, “Summoned Beast”, page 113).

VI. a) ii. The Remake Trilogy (Thus Far): Cloud’s Initiative
As I’ve said before, if I’m right that Remake is all about Cloud stepping up to be more attentive and active in his relationship with Aerith in order to save her, there should be concrete evidence of this in the Remaketrilogy thus far. If OG Cloud’s memories of and love for Aerith exist somewhere within Remake Cloud’s subconsciousness, then Remake Cloud should be far more active in the Clerith dynamic than OG Cloud was— after all, he’s supposed to know better this time around. Thankfully, the motif of handholding can help us evaluate this. Since we know pre-Remake Cloud was quite passive when it comes to handholding, Cloud initiating handholding in the Remake trilogy would be a strong indication that our theory has validity. Keeping this in mind, let’s see what we can find thus far in the Remake trilogy in relation to handholding, and if Cloud is indeed more active than he was in OG.
VI. a) ii. 1) Hollow Hands
Remake’s theme song “Hollow” makes allusions to the handholding motif: “This time, I will never let you go” is pretty clear. And so is “No Promises to Keep”, wherein Aerith speaks of Cloud “[taking her] hand and never [letting her] go” multiple times. Interestingly, these theme song lyrics seem to suggest that Cloud will be much more active in the Remake trilogy than in OG. “Hollow” even promises that Cloud will come to his senses and take charge of the situation: “this time, [he] will” be the one to offer his hand to Aerith, unlike in OG and Advent Children. This makes a lot of sense with our theory: now that Cloud has lost Aerith once, “this time for sure, [he]’ll” be the one to reach for Aerith’s hand, take initiative and save her the way she saved him.
Even though theme songs are extremely telling of a game’s main themes and intentions, lyrics are still all talk and no proof. What about the game itself? Do Remake and Rebirth deliver on this promise? Let’s see!
VI. a) ii. 2) Resolution Hands
The only significant time Cloud initiates handholding in Remake is during Cloud’s resolution scene in chapter 14 (5:18-5:40), wherein he tries to grab Aerith’s hand but is unable to keep her with him. He fills with determination and tells her in no uncertain terms that he’s coming for her. Just as we predicted, Cloud is the active participant in this iteration of the Clerith handholding motif: he’s even explicitly insisting against Aerith’s wishes that he should “get a say in all this” and that he’s “coming for [her]”. Let’s not forget that Cloud’s resolution is meant to reflect not only Aerith’s kidnapping by Shinra, but also her fated death. Nojima implied this by commenting the following on Aerith’s “Even if you think you have, it’s not real” line:

“Those who know what befalls Aerith later on will find the line really heart-wrenching” (FFVII Remake Ultimania, section 08 “Secrets”, “Development Staff Interviews, Part 2: Tetsuya Nomura, Yoshinori Kitase, Kazushige Nojima”, page 744).

Given this note by Nojima, it looks like we’re supposed to watch Cloud’s resolution scene with Aerith’s fated death in mind. Considering this, Cloud’s “I’m coming for you” line sure seems like an subconscious promise that he will save Aerith from her tragic fate. This subconscious promise could be the result of post-OG Cloud’s feelings and intentions rising to the surface. Nevertheless, he’s absolutely determined and he’s staying true to the promise he made in “Hollow”. I think it’s fair to say that this instance of the handholding Clerith motif does indeed fit perfectly with our theory. This is only one strong example though, and we need a pattern in order to pat ourselves on the back on this. So, let’s keep looking! There isn’t any handholding initiated by Cloud beyond that point in Remake. At this point in my research, I moved on to Rebirth to go digging for handholding there.
Hoo boy. I was not disappointed.
VI. a) ii. 3) Golden Hands
Let’s begin with the obvious. In their high-affinity gondola date in chapter 12, Cloud bravely interlaces his fingers with Aerith’s: Cloud’s taken charge not only of handholding, but the most intimate kind of handholding. I’m sure you’ve encountered the phrase “こいびとつなぎ” or “koibito tsunagi by now (literally translates to “lovers’ tie” or “lovers’ connection”); this is the term used in Japanese to refer to the type of handholding Cloud initiates with Aerith on the Skywheel. It’s considered the most intimate form of handholding. In Japan, skinship is normally considered quite significant and indicative of the closeness between two people— you could say it’s a big deal. Cloud also offers Aerith his hand when they step off the Shywheel, once more making the first move. Though some might say that the Skywheel dates shouldn’t be counted as canon, I believe Aerith’s date is indeed canon (I have my reasons but this post is long enough). Even if we discount the Skywheel date however, Clerith's use of the koibito tsunagi returns in a non-optional scene we will touch on later.
For what it’s worth, Alfreid offers Rosa his hand in the Loveless play too. I can prove that Aerith is the canon Rosa too, but I’m going to save that for my next analysis! You can take my word for it now, or just wait for that analysis to drop. Take it or leave it!
VI. a) ii. 4) Meta Hands
However, the narrative weight of these Clerith handholding instances doesn’t even come close to my very favorite iteration of the handholding motif in Rebirth. I’m referring to what I consider a severely underrated Clerith moment in chapter 13. First, some context: Sephiroth manipulates Cloud into giving over the Black Materia. Cloud seems to be firmly under Sephiroth’s control. However, the sight of Aerith being swarmed by Black Whispers snaps Cloud back into the driver’s seat: he breaks out of Sephiroth’s grasp to run to her and save her. Aerith gets knocked off into a fatal free-fall by a Black Whisper before Cloud can reach her, but he won’t have it: he lunges forward, hand extended. What results is a beautiful shot of their outstretched hands (56:25-56:27).
Let’s analyze this great shot. Notice how the seconds where Cloud is reaching downwards to grasp Aerith’s hand are treated. This key moment is stretched longer by a slow-mo effect, building up the tension and drawing the audience’s focus to the distance between their hands before Cloud actually catches Aerith’s in his, fulfilling the promise he made in “Hollow”. Their hands take up the whole screen in a deliberate close-up shot. All the ambient noises of the scene go quiet: Aerith’s theme is all we hear as Cloud reaches desperately for her. These are blatant audiovisual cues, signalling to the audience that whatever is happening on screen is especially significant. We should therefore examine this specific instance of the Clerith handholding motif to see what the devs are trying to tell us, and maybe it will fit with our theory!
We should begin by comparing this Clerith hand-reach shot to previous ones. If you compare it to the Advent Children’s hand-reach that occurs during Cloud’s battle against Bahamut Sin, it’s evident that Cloud and Aerith’s roles are reversed: just as our theory states, Cloud gets out from inside his head and reaches for Aerith this time. She saved him and the world in OG, and now it’s his turn to save her. This change becomes especially evident when you juxtapose the two scenes and notice how their hands have switched places, reaching from above and below, from left and right. I think the Rebirth hand-reach was deliberately made to look like the Advent Children one —and even the OG one in disk 3, chapter 3—, just to highlight this role reversal.
This Rebirth hand-reach is my favorite out of all because it shows that Cloud is much more conscious and attentive toward Aerith in Rebirth than he was in OG. At this point in OG (disk 1, chapter 25), Cloud is meant to be beating Aerith up at Sephiroth’s command, to the horror of the rest of the party. In fact, a few minutes before Cloud rushes to save Aerith in Rebirth, he has absolutely no problem violently shoving Tifa to the ground when she gets in Sephiroth’s way (53:27-53:33). This shove and Cloud’s earlier attack on Tifa in Gongaga (Rebirth, chapter 9) proves that Sephiroth is just as capable of making Cloud hurt his party members as he was in OG… though Sephiroth can’t seem to make Cloud hurt Aerith. Why is this? Why is it that Cloud beats Aerith in OG, but doesn’t even lay a finger on her —and snaps out of Sephiroth’s control at the mere sight of her in trouble— in Rebirth?
Our theory provides the answer. In disk 1, chapter 25 of OG, Cloud had not yet realized he loved Aerith. Sephiroth was therefore able to make him hurt her. But things are different in Rebirth. The Cloud we see in the Remake trilogy has gone through the OG timeline and traveled back in time, kicking off Remake as his second try at the OG timeline— and he did this precisely because he loves Aerith. His love for her is clearer and stronger in the Remake trilogy than in OG because Remake Cloud is an amnesiac, post-OG, time-traveler Cloud. He’s been through the OG before, has fallen in love with Aerith and realized it before, so this time around, he can’t even lay a finger on her. This is made evident by how closely the moments where Cloud pushes Tifa and saves Aerith are juxtaposed, separated by mere seconds of gameplay. Merely seeing Aerith in trouble wrenched control from Sephiroth and put it in Cloud’s hands again— Sephiroth probably couldn’t have gotten Cloud to attack Aerith if he tried.
This isn’t the only time we get evidence of this though! As Cloud approaches Aerith’s praying form in the Forgotten City, Sephiroth’s Black Whispers swirl around the buster sword: Sephiroth is trying to kill Aerith with it, while Cloud’s struggle to wrench it away plays out visibly on his face. Interestingly, Cloud is not being controlled by Sephiroth here. We know this because we can quite literally see the Black Whispers trying to move his sword, but also because every time Cloud is being controlled by Sephiroth in Rebirth, he has an empty-eyed, zombie-Cloud look on his face. Either that or he laughs or smiles somewhat maniacally. There is never any resistance on his part. To see an example, simply pay attention to Cloud’s blank face as he attacks Tifa in Gongaga in chapter 9 (19:20-20:30). You’ll see the very same expression on his face if you watch this video of Cloud following Sephiroth’s orders in chapter 13 (53:36-54:15). Additionally, look at how strangely Cloud smiles (41:01) as he grasps the Black Materia. Cloud makes none of these faces as the Black Whispers try to take control of his sword: quite the opposite. Cloud looks like he’s trying his hardest to pull his weapon back down and away from Aerith, a horrified look on his face as he grunts from the effort. Once more, Sephiroth is unable to make Cloud hurt Aerith.
Back to my favorite handholding moment. Think about this devs intention for this shot for a minute. The devs have been teasing us as to whether or not Cloud will succeed in saving Aerith in the Remake trilogy since it was first announced, and this slow-mo shot of Cloud catching Aerith’s hand as she falls to her death is a reflection of this tension. The audience holds their breath during those slow-moed seconds, all that hope and fear hanging in the balance. This instance of the handholding motif is a meta way for the devs to reassure us that Cloud will indeed save Aerith. I firmly believe this.
VI. a) ii. 5) Self-Sacrificing Hands
Alright, alright, enough about my favorite! Let’s move to chapter 14 of Rebirth! There’s evidently a lot going on with Clerith in this chapter. Let’s address the Sector 5 date. The handholding is first initiated by Aerith as she tugs him toward the candy vendor and Cloud reacts with a quiet gasp (4:07-4:17). Soon, it becomes a reciprocal embrace: Cloud holds his hand out for Aerith’s and tightens his fingers around hers, smiling at her before they head to the photographer (7:07-7:17).
Then of course, when Aerith pushes Cloud into a portal in her church, you can see Cloud reach his hand up toward her desperately as he falls (17:38-17:58). What I find particularly emotional about this moment is that Aerith pushing Cloud away from her is kind of the opposite of reaching for his hand: it symbolizes Aerith accepting her fate and giving up on a life where she can be with him. This Aerith seems to be a post-OG Aerith who exists separately from the main world we experience in Rebirth, meaning she knows all too well that her fate is to die. In fact, it looks like she is the very same or a similar Aerith to the one who appeared to Cloud in his resolution scene in Remake. By literally pushing Cloud away, just like she figuratively did in Cloud’s resolution scene, she is sacrificing both herself and the happiness she could share with Cloud. She’s going against her heart’s wishes, just like she did in Cloud’s resolution scene when she would not let Cloud take her hand. Indeed, post-OG Aerith seems to be resigned to her fated death and completely devoid of hope: she only wants to ensure the planet’s survival, because she thinks she knows there is no way she can or should be with Cloud. In contrast, Cloud reaches his hand out toward Aerith as he falls into the portal, and even though he does not know that her push symbolizes her self-sacrifice, his outstretched hand represents his protest. So far, our theory is fitting beautifully.
VI. a) ii. 6) Grieving Hands
Later in chapter 14 of Rebirth, after Aerith’s death/non-death, there is more handholding. As Cloud cradles Aerith’s body close to him at the Forgotten Capital, Aerith places her hand on his cheek. Cloud covers it with his, curling his fingers around it (1:03:33-1:03:53). Before he leaves her lying down on her back to go fight Sephiroth, he squeezes her hand as he tells her “I got this”— or, per the Japanese version, “Wait for me”, meaning he’ll reunite with her once he’s done (1:04:56-1:05:10).
VI. a) ii. 7) Hero-Heroine Hands
Next, the koibito tsunagi returns as Cloud and Aerith interlace fingers back to back in a classic hero-heroine pose, right after their two-versus-one fight against Sephiroth. This time, they both reach for each other simultaneously (7:42-8:18), without even having to look down at their hands or talk to each other, as though perfectly in sync. As you can see, Aerith and Cloud are now on the same page. This is different from post-OG Aerith’s attitude in the Sector 5 church earlier in chapter 14, as well as in Cloud’s resolution scene in Remake— my interpretation of this mutual koibito tsunagi is that both of them are agreeing to hold onto each other now, with neither of them pulling back or being inattentive of the other: their priorities are now the same. It seems now they are aligned, and hopefully this means that Aerith will be working together with Cloud so they can reunite again in part 3. Even if she doesn’t prioritize her life and happiness though, we know for sure Cloud will.
VI. b) Blocking Masamune Explained?
Another piece of evidence that Cloud has been through the events of OG before is the fact that he is able to block masamune. Cloud looks up and sees Sephiroth descending with his blade poised to kill Aerith. Screaming, Cloud instantly rips the buster sword from the Black Whispers’ hold and successfully blocks masamune. Hatred and determination fill his eyes as he rallies his strength and successfully pushes Sephiroth away, saving Aerith’s life (6:00-7:26)— at least, in one reality.
Obviously, something about Cloud is different in Rebirth from in OG, otherwise, the events of Rebirth’s chapter 14 would be the same as the events of OG’s disk 1 chapter 28. In my opinion, what happened here is that upon seeing Sephiroth swoop down with masamune, Cloud remembered Aerith’s death in OG, and the post-OG Cloud’s determination to stop it came surging up from within him. This is frankly the very best proof there is that Cloud is far more ready, stable, determined, and clear-headed about Aerith in the Remake trilogy than in OG. Our theory explains why! In fact, this very moment is what our entire theory banks on: Cloud saves Aerith in one reality, as is shown by the rainbow effect produced by the event, and just like that, the promise made in “Hollow” has been fulfilled! However, now we face the question of how to make sure that Aerith is alive and by Cloud’s side when the multiverse converges again into one protected timeline. I’m sure it will be done; we will see how in part 3.
VI. c) Theme Song Lyrics
What the theme songs’ texts have to say about the trilogy so far is quite important, as they summarize the feelings of the characters they represent: Cloud and Aerith. We can glean a lot from their perspectives that could help support the Mission Theory.
VI. d) i. “Hollow” Lyrics
“Hollow”, Remake’s theme song, was written about Cloud’s feelings and rumination. Nojima confirmed that, when he was given directives for the lyric-writing, “Nomura just gave [Nojima] the keywords: ‘told from Cloud's point of view’ and ‘standing in the rain’. [Nojima] interpreted that as ‘a ballad for a man who lost something/someone important’” (Nojima and Uematsu interview “‘I wanted to put the word ‘empty’ in the theme song of Remake. That was how it started’ - Music-Related Interview Part 6: Kazunari Nojima”, by Famitsu). Our theory is about Cloud’s motivations and mission to save Aerith, so “Hollow” is especially relevant.
Let’s run through the lyrics and analyze, starting with the song’s first verse:

“I would be lost, drifting along
Floating up high, time after time
And there you'd be, shining brightly
Your smiling face to guide my way
Bloody and bruised, brought to my knees
When beaten down, when broken up
You would appear, reach out to me
Heal every wound and make me whole”

Makes sense with our theory in mind, doesn’t it? This is post-OG Cloud remembering Aerith and what she means to him. “Hollow” seems to be told from the perspective of the post-OG Cloud hidden somewhere in Remake Cloud: a suppressed or eroded part of him that remembers Aerith clearly. Or maybe it’s told by Cloud after the events of the MFF x FFVII Remake collaboration and before the start of Remake, asserting his mission to save Aerith.
Next, here are the pre-choruses:

“Was it all, a dream? Will I never know?
Foolish and blind to everything
Had I realized, had I thought it through
Would you be here in my embrace?”

&

“With your every smile, hiding something more
Dark mysteries lurking beneath
But I was consumed with this emptiness
This selfishness, this void to fill”

(continued in

Here are 3 sampled answers using Maestrix as an example but you can easily apply your product details or URLs. These results have been generated in 3 minutes. You can do it for your own product on maestrix.ai.
A/ Market Category Frame of Reference: Maestrix AI competes in the AI-powered Marketing Automation and Planning Tools market category, which includes products that leverage artificial intelligence to provide marketing strategy, planning, and execution capabilities.
Competitors:

1. New Startups:
   • chatGPT (AI-powered marketing assistant)
   • Adcreative.ai (AI-powered ad creative optimization)
2. Legacy Companies:
   • HubSpot (marketing, sales, and customer service software)
   • Marketo (marketing automation platform)
3. Everyday Tools Repurposed:
   • Prompt Bibles by infopreneurs (customized marketing strategy templates)

Competitive Alternatives:

Alternative	How it Addresses the Market	Downsides	How Maestrix AI is Better
Hiring a Marketing Agency	Provides custom marketing strategies and execution	Expensive, time-consuming, and often lacks AI-driven insights	Maestrix AI provides AI-powered insights and automation at a lower cost and faster pace
Using Traditional Marketing Tools (e.g., HubSpot)	Offers marketing automation capabilities	Lacks AI-powered insights and requires significant setup and training	Maestrix AI provides AI-driven insights and automation with minimal setup and training
Custom-built Marketing Strategy Templates (e.g., Prompt Bibles)	Provides a customized marketing strategy	Limited scalability, requires constant updates, and lacks AI-driven insights	Maestrix AI provides AI-powered insights and automation that adapts to changing market conditions
Doing Nothing (DIY Marketing)	Lowers costs and provides control	Time-consuming, lacks scalability, and often ineffective	Maestrix AI provides AI-powered insights and automation at a lower cost and faster pace

Key Unique Attributes:

Unique Attribute	What Makes it Unique	How it Addresses the Problem
AI-powered Insights	Uses machine learning algorithms to analyze market data and provide actionable insights	Provides data-driven marketing strategies and campaigns
Automated Campaign Generation	Uses natural language processing to generate ad copy, social posts, email campaigns, and landing pages	Saves time and resources while ensuring consistent branding and messaging
Comprehensive Digital Strategy	Offers a holistic approach to marketing, including go-to-market, e-commerce, and competitor analysis	Ensures a cohesive marketing strategy that drives business growth
Expert-driven Positioning and Messaging	Provides expert-level positioning and messaging frameworks	Helps businesses differentiate themselves in the market and resonate with their target audience

Enabled Value and Proof:

Enabled Value	Proof
Data-driven marketing strategies	Case studies demonstrating 25% increase in conversions and 30% decrease in ad spend
Time and resource efficiency	Customer testimonials highlighting 50% reduction in marketing execution time
Scalable and adaptable marketing campaigns	Whitepapers and research papers on the effectiveness of AI-powered marketing automation
Expert-level positioning and messaging	Success stories of businesses that achieved significant growth with Maestrix AI's positioning and messaging frameworks

Customer Segments:

Segment	Motivations	Triggers	Barriers
Startups	Need to quickly establish a strong market presence	Limited marketing resources and expertise	Difficulty in creating effective marketing strategies and campaigns
Solopreneurs	Desire to maximize online presence and sales	Limited time and marketing know-how	Difficulty in creating and executing marketing campaigns
Small Teams	Need to drive business growth through effective marketing	Limited marketing resources and budget constraints	Difficulty in creating and executing marketing campaigns

SWOT Summary Table:

Strengths	Weaknesses	Opportunities	Threats
AI-powered insights and automation	Limited brand recognition	Growing demand for AI-powered marketing tools	Competition from established marketing automation platforms
Comprehensive digital strategy	Dependence on APIs and third-party data sources	Expanding into new markets and industries	Regulatory changes affecting AI-powered marketing tools
Expert-driven positioning and messaging	Limited sales and marketing resources	Partnerships with digital marketing agencies and consultancies	Competition from emerging startups and new market entrants
Scalable and adaptable marketing campaigns	High customer acquisition costs	Expanding into new geographic markets	Economic downturns affecting marketing budgets

B/ User Positioning Statements:

1. I'm trying to develop a marketing strategy using online tutorials, but I get overwhelmed by the amount of information because it's hard to prioritize what's relevant for my business. Now, I can access tailored marketing insights and campaign ideas with Maestrix AI, so that I can create effective marketing strategies that drive results.
2. I'm trying to create engaging ad content using a copywriter, but it takes too much time and money because I need to brief them on my brand and product. Now, I can generate precise ads and social posts with Maestrix AI, so that I can quickly launch targeted campaigns that resonate with my audience.
3. I'm trying to optimize my marketing budget using spreadsheet analysis, but it's hard to make data-driven decisions because I'm not a marketing expert. Now, I can get actionable marketing recommendations with Maestrix AI, so that I can maximize my ROI and grow my business.
4. I'm trying to improve my brand's online presence using a web developer, but it takes too long and costs too much because I need to redesign my website. Now, I can create optimized landing pages and email campaigns with Maestrix AI, so that I can attract and retain more customers.
5. I'm trying to outperform my competitors using industry reports, but it's hard to stay ahead because I lack the resources and expertise. Now, I can analyze my competitors and get tailored marketing strategies with Maestrix AI, so that I can dominate my market and reach my business goals.

Competitor Analysis Table:

Category	B2B Competitors	B2C Competitors
AI Marketing Assistants	ChatGPT, HubSpot	-
Traditional Agencies	Traditional ad agencies, Marketing firms	-
Marketing Tools	Hootsuite, Mailchimp	Canva, Adobe Creative Cloud
AI Content Generation	Content Blossom, Snoring Cat	AI Writer, WordLift
Prompt Bibles	Infopreneurs (e.g. [Prompt Bible by [Influencer])	-

Top ICP / Persona Recommendations Table:

Dimension	Recommendation 1 (B2B)	Recommendation 2 (B2C)	Recommendation 3 (B2B)	Recommendation 4 (B2C)	Recommendation 5 (B2B)
Industry	Tech startups	E-commerce entrepreneurs	Small marketing teams	Solopreneurs	Growing businesses
Company Size	10-50 employees	1-5 employees	5-20 employees	1-5 employees	50-200 employees
Job Function	Marketing Manager	FoundeCEO	Growth Hacker	Entrepreneur	CMO
Primary Goal	Drive customer acquisition	Increase online sales	Boost brand awareness	Establish thought leadership	Optimize marketing budget
Pain Points	Limited marketing resources, difficulty measuring ROI	Difficulty creating engaging content, limited marketing expertise	Struggling to scale marketing efforts, limited budget	Difficulty establishing brand identity, limited resources	Difficulty optimizing marketing budget, lack of marketing expertise

Avoidance Recommendations Table:

Dimension	Avoidance Recommendation
Industry	Highly regulated industries (e.g. finance, healthcare)
Company Size	Large enterprises (>500 employees)
Job Function	IT/Tech professionals without marketing responsibilities
Primary Goal	Reducing costs, process optimization (not marketing-related)
Pain Points	Difficulty with internal communications, team management

Recommendation Rationale Summary:
Our top recommendations target tech startups, e-commerce entrepreneurs, small marketing teams, solopreneurs, and growing businesses in the B2B and B2C spaces. These personas struggle with limited marketing resources, difficulty measuring ROI, and creating engaging content. Maestrix AI addresses these pain points by providing tailored marketing insights, campaign ideas, and content generation. Our recommendations avoid highly regulated industries, large enterprises, and IT/Tech professionals without marketing responsibilities, as these groups may require more specialized solutions or have different priorities.
Challenging Decisions Analysis:
For B2B audiences: 1) convincing marketing teams to adopt AI-assisted marketing strategies, and 2) demonstrating the ROI of Maestrix AI.
For B2C audiences: 1) educating solopreneurs and small business owners about the benefits of AI marketing assistants, and 2) addressing concerns about AI-generated content quality.
Persona/Client Canvas:
Here are three detailed persona profiles:
Persona 1: Marketing Manager Maya

• Demographics: 28-40 years old, marketing professionals in tech startups
• Psychographics: Ambitious, growth-oriented, data-driven
• Role/Job: Marketing Manager
• Problem to solve: Limited marketing resources, difficulty measuring ROI
• Pains of this problem: Feeling overwhelmed, lacking confidence in marketing decisions
• Jobs-To-Be-Done: Drive customer acquisition, increase brand awareness
• Motivation: Prove the value of marketing to the organization
• Trigger: New marketing budget allocation, need to scale marketing efforts
• Barriers: Limited resources, difficulty justifying marketing spend
• Context: Familiar with marketing automation tools, looking for innovative solutions

Persona 2: E-commerce Entrepreneur Emma

• Demographics: 25-45 years old, e-commerce entrepreneurs
• Psychographics: Entrepreneurial, driven, creative
• Role/Job: FoundeCEO
• Problem to solve: Difficulty creating engaging content, limited marketing expertise
• Pains of this problem: Feeling stuck, struggling to compete with larger brands
• Jobs-To-Be-Done: Increase online sales, establish thought leadership
• Motivation: Grow the business, establish a strong brand identity
• Trigger: Launching a new product or service, need to drive sales
• Barriers: Limited budget, difficulty finding the right marketing talent
• Context: Familiar with social media marketing, looking for efficient marketing solutions

Persona 3: Growth Hacker Alex

• Demographics: 25-40 years old, growth hackers in small marketing teams
• Psychographics: Analytical, adaptable, results-oriented
• Role/Job: Growth Hacker
• Problem to solve: Struggling to scale marketing efforts, limited budget
• Pains of this problem: Feeling frustrated, difficulty justifying marketing spend
• Jobs-To-Be-Done: Boost brand awareness, optimize marketing budget
• Motivation: Drive user acquisition, prove the value of growth hacking
• Trigger: New marketing budget allocation, need to scale marketing efforts
• Barriers: Limited resources, difficulty measuring ROI
• Context: Familiar with marketing automation tools, looking for innovative solutions

C/ CAMPAIGN IDEAS
Table 1: Thought-provoking Statements

Statement
Marketing doesn't have to be a guessing game.
Stop throwing spaghetti at the wall.
Your competitors are already using AI marketing.
Traditional agencies are stuck in the past.
You can't out-hustle a machine.
Marketing strategies shouldn't be a shot in the dark.
Don't let your competition outsmart you.
What if you could predict your marketing success?
It's time to take the gamble out of marketing.
Your business deserves data-driven decisions.

Table 2: 'Pick a Fight' Statements

Statement
Traditional agencies are a waste of your money.
ChatGPT is a toy, not a marketing solution.
Prompt bibles are a lazy marketing hack.
Why settle for mediocre marketing when you can have AI-powered perfection?
Your competitors are using AI marketing. Why aren't you?
Marketing by committee is a recipe for disaster.
Don't let your competitors out-AI you.
Legacy marketing strategies are holding you back.
What's your marketing strategy? "I don't know" isn't an answer.
Stop trying to be a jack-of-all-trades, master of none.

Table 3: Irreverent Questions

Question
Are you tired of throwing money at marketing and hoping for the best?
How much did your last failed marketing campaign cost you?
Do you really think your competitors are stupid?
What's the ROI on your current marketing strategy... -1%?
How many hours have you wasted on marketing meetings?
Are you a startup or a sideshow?
Is your marketing strategy based on hope or data?
Do you really think you can outsmart the market?
How many marketing agencies have failed you?
Are you ready to take the gamble out of marketing?

Table 4: Creative Angles

Angle	Explanation
1. AI-Powered Perfection	Highlighting Maestrix AI's ability to deliver precise marketing campaigns and strategies.
2. From Chaos to Clarity	Emphasizing the clarity and direction Maestrix AI brings to marketing efforts.
3. Marketing in the Dark	Illustrating the uncertainty of traditional marketing strategies and the need for Maestrix AI.
4. The AI Advantage	Showcasing the competitive edge Maestrix AI provides to startups and small teams.
5. Data-Driven Decisions	Focusing on the data-driven approach of Maestrix AI and the confidence it brings.
6. Smarter Marketing	Positioning Maestrix AI as a smarter, more efficient way to approach marketing.
7. Outsmart the Competition	Highlighting Maestrix AI's ability to help businesses stay ahead of the competition.
8. No More Guesswork	Emphasizing the elimination of guesswork in marketing with Maestrix AI.
9. Predictable Success	Showcasing the predictable success and ROI of Maestrix AI marketing campaigns.
10. Marketing on Autopilot	Positioning Maestrix AI as a reliable, hands-off marketing solution.

Table 5: Billboard Concepts
Here are 15 billboard concepts for each creative angle, with remarkable headlines, different rhetorical devices, different tones, and a 5-word signature that describes the value of Maestrix AI using the 4Cs copywriting formula.
Angle 1: AI-Powered Perfection

Headline	Rhetorical Device	Tone	Signature
"Marketing, elevated."	Allusion	Sophisticated	"Precise marketing. Guaranteed."
"Your marketing, perfected."	Anaphora	Confident	"Flawless marketing strategies."
"The future of marketing, today."	Hyperbole	Futuristic	"Revolutionary AI marketing tools."

...
Angle 10: Marketing on Autopilot

Headline	Rhetorical Device	Tone	Signature
"Marketing on cruise control."	Metaphor	Relaxing	"Hands-off marketing freedom."
"Set it and forget it."	Enthymeme	Carefree	"Marketing on autopilot, guaranteed."
"Let AI handle it."	Aporia	Trusting	"Reliable marketing solutions."

Table 6: Highly Creative and Original Concepts

Concept	Explanation
"Marketing Oracle" Campaign	Positioning Maestrix AI as a mystical, all-knowing marketing guide.
"Marketing Myth-Busting" Series	Creating a series of ads that debunk common marketing myths and showcase Maestrix AI as the solution.
"AI vs. Human" Marketing Challenge	Pitting Maestrix AI against human marketers in a series of marketing challenges, highlighting the AI's superiority.
"The Great Marketing Escape"	Creating an immersive, escape-room-style experience that demonstrates the frustrations of traditional marketing and the relief of Maestrix AI.
"Marketing Utopia"	Illustrating a world where marketing strategies are data-driven, efficient, and successful, thanks to Maestrix AI.
"Marketing Time Capsule"	Creating a time capsule filled with outdated marketing materials and strategies, contrasted with the futuristic, AI-powered marketing of Maestrix AI.
"Marketing Symphony"	Using music and sound design to illustrate the harmony and efficiency of Maestrix AI marketing campaigns.
"The Marketing Maze"	Creating a maze that represents the complexities of traditional marketing, with Maestrix AI as the guiding light that leads to success.
"Marketing in the Dark... Ages"	Illustrating the dark ages of marketing, where businesses struggled without Maestrix AI, and the enlightenment that comes with AI-powered marketing.
"The AI Marketing Architect"	Positioning Maestrix AI as a master builder of marketing strategies, creating a solid foundation for business success.

Currently applying for a visitor visa for my Chinese husband.
I am British and we live together in China. We are submitting:
Bank statements of mine and his (mine that gets salary and the transactions over 6 months to his account that we use for savings, Plus his everyday spending account)
An employment certificate from my work
A letter to prove he is enrolled in a masters+. Official government letter to prove that
Proof of address for both of us
Our marriage certificate
His previous uk visitor visa
Our tenancy agreement for next year (2025)
My passport
Is there any other document we should provide?

Hello
Thank you in advance for reading over this. This is more or less a way for me to get all of my thoughts written down, and if anyone has any advice, thats extra. Throwaway acct.
My wife (28F) and I (25M) have been married for 4 and a half years. We met at a small private high school and became friends quickly. Because of our upbringing, we didn’t live together or have sex until we got married. And when we got married, we began to learn each other’s quirks and routines in a very new way. Also, Covid hit about 2 months after our wedding day and my wife lost her job. Things were tough, financially and emotionally, but we made it through. After this, my wife started her own business that has grown tremendously. These days, most of her time is spent working, doing house chores, or recovering from work by watching tv.
My wife has started to feel more like a roommate over the past year as our time together is limited, and what time we do spend together is not very enjoyable. I have lots of hobbies and like to spend my free time at the gym, riding dirt bikes, playing basketball, rock climbing, playing chess, etc. All of which my wife does not enjoy. I’m very routine based and have one day a week where I get all of my chores done, unlike my spouse who will leave clean laundry in the dryer for weeks before putting it away. We recently took a multiple month long vacation after both working hard and saving up our money for a couple years. I think we were both hoping that this would bring us back together and give us some of the time we don’t usually have back, however, this turned out to be a very bad trip with injuries, illness, arguments, and frustration.
I recently tried to express my concerns and encouraged her to try some new hobbies to help improve her quality of free time, but this led to frustration. She said that she is happy with the time she has and how she spends it. She mentioned that her extra time is dedicated to her family and their needs. I understood her point of view and dropped it. I feel like often times, I will go out of my way to do everything I can for her like making dinner, picking up groceries, cleaning the house, all after my day of work, only to be met with frustration that I didn’t offer to cut the grass and that I can't "see past myself". Thats just an example, but I see this trend often. More and more, it feels like I can’t meet her needs, and she can’t meet mine. We aren't very romantic and never really have been.
Obviously I know I can only give my side of the story, but I feel like I am trying to see every angle possible and be as objective as I can. Im not one to give up easily, but I’m not sure how much longer is required before things just aren’t getting better and we need a change. We are going to see a marriage counselor soon, but I’m not too thrilled on the idea as she has spent lots of time with this counselor in the past, and when I saw that counselor previously, my time with them was spent mostly chatting about their recent trip to Italy.
When we talk about this, I try to be as unbiased as possible, but she tells me that this isn't how she sees the situation and that I need to figure this out for myself. I don't want to give her a list of things I think she should change, that doesn't seem fair. I know she's not causing issues intentionally and neither am I, which is why it's hard to make any big decisions or blame one person or the other. I want us both to be happy ultimately and will do whatever it takes to get there, I just don't see a clear path forward.
I’m not sure what to do. I don’t want to compare my time with my wife to my time with my friends, however, I see how I am with my family and friends and I’m encouraged that in not depressed and boring, unlike my time at home. Any advice is much appreciated. sorry for the scattered wording.
Thanks again for your time and comments.
tl;dr wife and I don't enjoy our time together. we've known each other for 12 years, but have been married for 4. we are at our best when we don't speak often, only seeing the good side of each other. any advice?

This subreddit needs an official questionnaire and I think this one is easy enough to answer. I don't expect to become sure of my type because of internet strangers, but I do like answering questions about myself.
My Enneagram type is either 6w5 or 9w8, 469, sp/so. I have autism. (I think an official questionnaire should ask for this information. Autism can influence E (empathy), F (sensory issues), V (executive dysfunction) and L (special interests). A high self-preservation instinct can look like F (routines, health), sexual and social can look like F too (wanting to look attractive or socially acceptable (or maybe like you belong to a subculture). A low sexual or social instinct could look like lower E.)
L (logic)

• How much time and energy do you spend researching or studying? Do you like researching and studying, and why?

I enjoy studying, but every time I decide I should do it more I make a plan of everything I want to study and then it starts feeling very heavy. I want to only study fun topics like typology, psychology, philosophy and languages. I do it for fun and because I feel inferior when I have less knowledge than other people.

• How many of your own opinions do you form? How often do you do actual thinking on your own, more than just finding an existing answer?

I have some core beliefs that help me form opinions on different topics (for example the theory of evolution, which can be applied to most topics). I sometimes form an opinion based on what makes sense for me instead of what is factual. If I don't understand something I can be skeptical, if something I don't believe in (for example astrology) got scientifically proven I would feel very uncomfortable and question the results.

• How often do you talk about concepts or facts? Why exactly do you talk about it, and what do you like talking about most?

I like telling people about personality systems. I think teaching people and typing them makes me feel useful, and I need to type people irl if I want to understand the systems. I sometimes talk about philosophy, but that usually doesn't go anywhere because my beliefs are too unromantic for other people and they often judge me for being a nihilist or an egoist. I also like learning and teaching languages, maybe too much. I think some people feel pressured by me trying to teach them.

• Do you struggle with thinking about things by yourself? Does this bother you, and how much? How well do you handle criticism from others when it comes to your logical concepts or factual knowledge?

I often struggle with understanding scientific topics. It does bother me a lot, I am afraid of my future children asking me to explain physics to them. I avoid criticism like the plague, I don't want to express anything that could be false so I often either don't express myself or triple check everything. I easily doubt my own opinion, especially if the topic is a complex one like typology. Philosophy is much simpler, you just state your opinion and then the other persons states theirs and then you both think that the other person is stupid, but this is easy for me to say since my opinion is always the simplest one and therefore correct. ("What is the moral choice her?" "Morality isn't real." "Was this a selfish action?" "All actions are selfish." "What is the meaning of life?" "There is no meaning." "Is god real?" "We don't have any proof that god exists.")

• Did you enjoy answering the above questions? Would you say this is a major part of who you are or your identity? Was it boring? Is it a difficult topic?

Yeah, it was fun. It is a major part of me, but I know that if I had been born into the stone ages it wouldn't be.
E (emotion)

• Do you consider yourself a creative person? What do you do that's creative?

Not really, I sometimes have creative ideas but I rarely do anything with them.

• How do you feel about expressing your own emotions? Are emotions part of your decision-making at all? How much of a role do they play in your decisions?

I am fine with expressing emotions like anger or fun, but I don't want to express deeper or less strong feelings like love. I rarely love people, and I can't express something I don't feel.
Of course they are part of my decision making process, they are for every human. If you choose a path because it feels the most secure you are making a decision based on anxiety, or on wanting to feel more comfort than anxiety in the future. I sometimes base my decisions on excitement. I don't want to have a boring job.

• How much effort do you put into creating a positive emotional influence on other people? Do you try to do this at all? Do you like exploring the emotions or creativity of others?

I try my best to not create a negative one, and I try to make people feel better about themselves when they are insecure about something. I am not very interested in talking about the feelings of my friends, but I do play therapist sometimes because of my interest in psychology. I am interested in creativity in general, I enjoy listening to music and making and sharing playlists, but I am usually not deeply interested in my friends.

• Do you feel uncomfortable with the idea of sharing your emotions? Do you struggle with knowing exactly how to connect with others on a deeper and more emotional level? Do you struggle with knowing how to go about dealing with and handling your emotions?

Yes, it makes me feel either vulnerable (if I have strong emotions) or inhuman (if I don't have enough). Yes, I don't do it much. The thought makes me uncomfortable. Yes, but ONLY because I'm very sensitive and quickly cry, which can be very inconvenient and I don't know how to stop it.

• Did you enjoy answering the above questions? Would you say this is a major part of who you are or your identity? Was it boring? Is it a difficult topic?

Yes. Not really, but I have been thinking about morality more so maybe in the future, although that might be more of a Volition topic.
F (physics / foundation)

• How much time and energy do you put into your physical health? Do you try new healthcare or self-care products often? How often, and what kinds of products do you like trying?

Sleeping and not being hungry are important to me, but apart from that I don't do much. I don't care about what I eat or where I sleep as long as it's enough. I don't often try new products, if I do it's either because I noticed a problem (which can take a long time) or because my mother (3F) noticed one.

• How much do you care about your physical appearance, including fashion choices, or decorating the physical environment for comfort? Do you like exploring the physical environment (food, nature, architecture, etc), or doing physical activity?

I think I used to care about it for a while, but then I either forgot about it or decided that it is a waste of money and time. I still have preferences, I just try to not spend too much energy on them. I enjoy nature and some sports, but I sometimes forget about them for a while. I sadly don't get much pleasure from eating or looking at things.

• Do you like talking about your personal tastes often? How often do you explore the personal tastes of others? What about your own health or the health of others? Do you like creating or exploring comfortable environments with others?

Yes, but the tastes I talk about are my taste in music or movies. I don't like hearing about other people's tastes as much because I feel like I then have to spend time listening to their favorite artists, and then I have to form an opinion on it... and I don't like most artists.
Idk about the other questions.

• Do you stress about what people will think regarding your personal tastes? Do you prefer to follow fashion trends in worry that people may judge your own style? Do you worry about being sick or in poor physical health often? Are you able to take criticism about your health, aesthetic choices, personal tastes, or physical appearance?

No. No. Sometimes I think that I'm sick, but it doesn't make me panic. Not sure, I think I sometimes ignore it and sometimes follow it, it probably depends on how much effort changing it would take. My mother is 3F and I think her criticisms are annoying, she wants me to change my knife holding habits and stop eating old cooked rice (I hate wasting food). But I can critique other people, for example for not being clean or practical enough.

• Did you enjoy answering the above questions? Would you say this is a major part of who you are or your identity? Was it boring? Is it a difficult topic?

Not really, it wasn't difficult, just a bit boring. It's not important to me, except my fashion choices since they usually reflect my identity.
V (volition)

• Do you know how to get what you want? How much effort do you put into figuring out how to get what you want? Do you just take action and get started, do you plan, do you research or try to get advice from others?

Yes, but only in the physical world, I can for example get people to watch my favorite movie.
I make detailed plans that are too ambitious for me to follow. I like having a detailed plan, it makes me feel like I can achieve my goals. If I'm panicking about a goal I make a detailed plan. But I usually don't follow the plan because I have low energy/ problems motivating myself. I take advice from others if they are more knowledgable than me and probably from my mother.

• How often do you feel motivated to work on your future? How often are you busy working on a goal for the future? Do you prefer routine, or often fall into routine? Is your routine making progress on a goal? What makes you change your routine? What makes you start working on a goal?

Sometimes I get the feeling that I need to get my life together and then I make a bunch of plans and lists, but I don't work on them enough. I procrastinate a lot. I'm bad at routines, I prefer making a to do list every day. I sometimes try establishing a routine to reach a goal, but then I forget to follow it or am unable to follow it exactly because I can't predict how long a task will take or because something gets in the way. I either start working on a goal when I'm motivated or when I'm panicking.

• Do you like guiding or helping people reach their goals? What kinds of goals do you prefer to help people with? Are you a leader, or do you prefer to work in groups where you're an equal? How and when do you take charge, if ever?

Yes, it makes me feel useful. I always try to make people feel like they can reach their goals, but I can also be critical, especially about job choices. I sometimes get the urge to make language study plans for people.
I prefer working in groups of people I know well, if I'm with strangers I'm too shy to speak up. I take charge in small groups of incompetent people, I can remind people of their responsibilities, but I don't want to make decisions on my own. I can also take charge when it comes to physical needs like food (but I will ask everyone their preferences).

• Do you overwork yourself? Do you worry that you might be lazy or that you aren't progressing quickly enough? Does it feel impossible to find the right method forward? Are you able to take criticism over your choices for working towards your goals? How do you respond to being challenged?

No, I am too easily stressed. I don't worry about being lazy, I know that it's true. I do feel a lot of shame and anxiety about my productivity, but I think anyone who is as lazy as me would.
I worry about missing something. Do I really want this future? Isn't there something better out there? I've changed my mind about my future in the past and wasted a lot of time that way, so now I want to make sure, but that's impossible. Finding the right method is important too. It does feel impossible but that's because it IS, noone can really know the future except maybe a super-super-computer.
I think I can take criticism, but I might cry or consider murder before accepting it, especially if it includes a character judgement (I've heard "You're too sensitive for this job. You should try [similar job] instead." Who do you think you are to give me advice? You don't know my reasons for choosing this job.). Except if the criticism is not valid, then I can ignore it.

• Did you enjoy answering the above questions? Would you say this is a major part of who you are or your identity? Was it boring? Is it a difficult topic?

More difficult than boring, it's difficult for me to separate Volition from the other aspects. I used to not have any goals, but now it is a part of my identity, but I know that my goals might change.

Looking for Books with morality systems that are not 21st century contempory morals but still have a moral center, that in some ways poke at the ideas of our society, and have their own flaws and strengths.
Good example is Jo Walton's Thessaly Trilogy, where they have some things which our society would be shocked at, like infant exposure and one day "marriages" at the festivals of Hera starting at 16, but with the infrastucture to take care of the kids born and without shame. Yet they are also working hard to create their idea of an ideal world, generally more committed to the collective good and at times point out the limits of present day morality, for example, they recognise and accept the sentience of AI much faster than we would, and find the capitalist space travelers morally lacking by judging each other by wealth.
Dune is another one, where the Bene Gesserit have created an alt shamanistic tech and training program, while Leto the 2nd's reign, in spite of attrocities,may be justified because it is preventing human extinction.
The things could be simple, like a frontier setting where a seventeen year old has a stake and is thinking of getting married and is fully an adult because the "sort of" requirement of four years of college of our world doesn't exist. Maybe a society where most people are neurodivergent and it is outstripping a 'normal' society in some way. Maybe a post appocalyptic settingsmora values are shaped in reaction of our present consumer culture. Maybe a setting where hallucenigens are regularly used in mental health treatment because of a shamanistic strain in an otherwise modern or futuristic society.
Could be anything. I prefer fantasy because it is rarer. One final thing, I want it to not to be original takes, not a regurgitation of present culture war debates. I'm looking books which go "Gee, I hadn't thought of that before," and you spend the next week really thinking about it and look at your world with new eyes.

Anyway this is the second story, that I was talking about, this happened fairly recently, I mean, about 4-5 years ago, it was during a particularly difficult time of life, I had lost my friends (not literally, just lost contact), my GF cheated and left me, then came back with an even wilder propostion, which kind of messed me up even more, anyway, it was a time when I was also doing my JEE preparation, and had gotten selected in top batch of one of the most prestigious coaching centres (I was an asshole to think it was ann accomplishment), anyway, I was studying 8-10 hours a day, I was irritable, used to go to school, have fun with friends, then leave it for my coaching and travelled in metro for 2-2.5 hours to reach my coaching centre and generally used to leave by 9-9:30. Anyway, it was January, and my father had some function, so, he had kind of promised that he'd pick me up, en route to Noida. He was so, I ended up standing there till 11, So, he comes, he's with his friend, and another collegue, my father is a teetotaller, he doesn't drink, both of his other collegues were visibly inebriated, his other collegue, was a lady, who was on the phone with her husband, pertaining to some stuff, anyway other guy, who I knew btw (Sadly he's not here anymore) was talking to me about bunch of stuff, asking what I learned, normal stuff that you do, anyway driver started the car, well, it was alright, we were having fun, it was Saturday, so, the 93.5 was on (Top 20 bangers from the week), we were singing, vibing, it was really cool.
Anyway, I had heard in passing about Nicholson Cemetary before, I had been there twice, once with bunch of friends, where we did some weird things including kicking a tombstone, I managed to crack it, my other friend managed to break a part of it, fun I thought, it was actually a tour about 1857 Revolt in Delhi, so, we where allowed to go to lot of areas, where most people are not! Anyway, that's where I heard this rumor that this cemetary is supposed to haunted, I was like right, lol, all cemetaries are haunted, anyway, back to the story: This cemetary was supposed to be in our way, now, I am a believer in ghosts but am not coward, so, I was fine so, were all of the other compatriots in that car. So, off we went anyway, even if you won't believe in ghosts, you'll agree that some people and place tend to have a weird vibe associated with them, and this place is like that, you'll feel a weird heaviness in the air nearby, you'll visibly uneasy, you'll feel that someone is kind of watching you at all times, it's kind of difficult to explain! Anyway, it was supposed to be a long 2 hour drive, so, we just went around didn't really pay attention to surroundings much, well, I was kinda dozing off, but suddenly, my father's coworker she draw the attention to the guy standing near the cemetary's door, now, I being a devout Hindu, am not much sure about Christian burial rituals, but all of us were of firm consensus that they were not supposed to happen at 12-12:30 at night, later we actually confirmed it, so, yeah! Well, he had a bouquet of those whites flowers, was dressed very formally, almost too elegently for any function, so, I deduced it was supposed to be pretty important funeral, anyway there wasn't any other person standing nearby, just a huge white cross above him, painted over an entrance and two small one's adorning the gates, and even gates were closed, only thing, we could conclusively see from there was the generic information about the cemetary, nothing more. Anyway, our car kind of slowed down, and it fully came to halt, I dunno why but our driver had weird fetish of talking to weird men, in weird attire hanging around in weird places. He stopped the car, kind of parked it, near the cemetary so we had a full view of everything and jumped out.
My and me dad were daredevils, two other were drunk, what do think we were feeling? It was pure joy, while the driver was scared shit! Anyway, there's this guy atleast as tall as me, dressed like someone who'd surely say Shashi Tharoor is not eloquent enough, with a bunch of mourning flowers in his hand, what could go wrong? Anyway, fear kind of elected to join me waiting, the driver reached that guy. Anyway, it was obvious that driver was having a hardtime communicating with that guy, I mean obviously, but he kind of managed to communicate with him that it seemed creepy for him to hang around cemetaries at night, anyway whatever entity he was, was cordial enough to consider not hurting his feelings and must have said something about leaving in few minutes, our driver cameback, almost too proud of himself, hopped on driving seat and we all gave him a standing ovation, like he managed to convince that Churchill looking mf, to put it mildly "shove it in", anyway as soon as we turned to see him, he was gone, like nothing, poof! There was no door opening or closing, no car nearby, no leaf unturned, the guy just vanished. It was weird! Anyway, now, the daredevilry and drinks were turning against us, we were paranoid, almost messed up, for driver it took sometime to understand what he had done, he just told a ghost, yes, a literal ghost to leave his area of interest, the charm was cast, the Pompeii was warned, the Rubicon was crossed, and yet, he went out to investigate, I knew that if he was a ghost he'd prolly be looking for me, for some kind of sick twisted revenge for breaking his lovely tombstone. So, I was petrified, but like a knightess in shining armour, my father's coworker went out to check with driver, and result came the same, no proof of that guy ever existing, no flowers, no prints, nothing, nada! They came back, she was feeling kind of uneasy so, she drank some water, maybe it was the drinks or something, but she kind of threw up nearby, we just skidaddled off from there.
Now, while moving through a particularly empty road, my father's friend just said, jokingly, I didn't know the guy we saw earlier was your friend, and there that guy was, just standing nearby, sort of in a grassy side of the road, he didn't flowers with him, he was wearing the similar outfit, I mean, we were some distance away from that prolly 2-3kms from there, there was no other way to reach there, there were cars nearby, not too many, but you know Delhi traffic, right? Maybe, it was a different person, I mean, could be, but he was looking directly upto us, like he remembered the car, well, again my driver wanted to confront him, but we just said fuck off and drove off.
Well, he kind of was a unlucky omen for all of us, the female coworker of my dad lost her husband in COVID, my dad broke his leg in an accident later, the driver was let go and we don't know what happened after that to him, I kind of suffered from deep times of melencholy and depression after that, I actually had to be properly treated, and my father's friend died, his COVID treatment kind of destroyed his family financially, he just left his wife and three children, two of them are in college now, and my father along with his friends are paying for their tuition. Anyway, this story could just very well, be some unique collection of coincidences, I know, and obviously, it wasn't anything special in large cities to know two people, who died during COVID, but it's just something, I have thought about a lot, my father on the other hand still doesn't believe it, although that female coworker of his, does agree with me, she's a friend of my moms, she's the one who told my mother this story, about 2-3 years later, anyway, my mom did this whole elaborate ritual for "Nazar Removal", she consulted a lot of pundits, and other things, my father just joked around saying that he was pretty sure that the ghost or fiend or whatever that entity was, was definately not Hindu.
Anyway, this story is kind of ongoing because apparently, the father's coworker claims, she's still having nightmares, I mean, I can't blame her, she's about 35 and has already lost her husband, she doesn't have a family and her husband's family is not excepting her and her baby (They had a love marriage, that too with consent from both sides, but still I dunno). She's trying counciling, and also going bit into religion, she meets us like every other month, so, yeah, she's brearing the blunt of this.
I have third story too, it kind of happened to friend of me (although I was also there), that too just few months ago, so, it's again quite fresh, just message if you want to hear it too.
Visit this and upvote this, don't upvote this post, I just wanted to create the comment but couldn't! This is in response to his post!
https://www.reddit.com/indiasocial/comments/1csfeoa/whats_the_creepiest_thing_youve_witnessed_irl/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

ETA: PLEASE TELL ME IF I AM CRAZY. Please don’t just downvote me and move on. I really need the reassurance one way or another!! I appreciate all feedback and experience!!
My bf is the best. I love him a lot. We’ve been together for almost three years, living together just over a year.
When we first lived together, I would joke about him being able to read my mind. He would bring something up or do or say something that I had been thinking about or talking about with someone else or to myself while he was at work. I work from home.
It’s becoming weird, though. There are some things that just don’t make sense for him to do on a whim because it’s not like him. Or there are some things that are specific and it’s like it’s the same day. I feel super crazy because it’s all small and positive things, like taking the trash out on his way out when he never does and I bitched about it aloud yesterday.
Could ABSOLUTELY be him doing it himself. He is constantly trying to grow and be the best person he can be. But it’s such a coincidence. That’s the best example I have because again, they’re so small and subtle, but I’m getting uneasy.
How often have you come across this?? Am I absolutely insane? I obviously haven’t brought it up to him besides joking about him being psychic.
I have heard of the nighttime camera trick, but there are sooo many nooks and crannies to look through and he’s rarely gone at night. Are there any scanners or any apps I can download to look for random devices in the house? Am I absolutely losing my mind???
ETA: I am researching devices to have anyway. My plan is to say it’s for Airbnb and jokingly ask if we have any hidden cameras to test on and see his response when I have it physically in my hands. Before it comes in, I’ll do some sound and visual tests (hiding a couple things, saying some stuff, etc.).
For anyone else paranoid, Fing is a great resource! It’s free and you download it to your phone or laptop and you can see all of the devices on your network. That was incredibly comforting to me and I feel even sillier; no unknown devices. I’m still going to get the detector and try the camera test to settle my nerves but just having any kind of proof makes me feel guilty for even irrationally thinking he would.

When I started a new job a few years back, met one of my colleagues who I would classify as a high IQ person. I always enjoyed his company, we could talk and talk and talk.
This was different from the conversations I had with friends/family. I just couldn't convince them of something regardless of how many facts I presented. For example would be that one would say something really ridiculous, show them an article that contradicts that but they would dismiss it and open a blog post written by some crackpot conspiracy theorist. When questioning trustworthiness of his link he would ridicule and say something like 'how come your links are true and none of mine are?'. Show him other links from the web, but they would insist that blog post was the truth.
When speaking with this colleague it was different. He was usually right about things, occasionally he had some misinformation. I would open up a well researched/written article and forward it. He would come up and thank me for teaching him something new and correcting him. This was surprisingly new.
Seeing this I decided I wanted to be with more people like him. Tested for Mensa and got in. Started going to Mensa meetups. People at these meetups are having the same conversations as very low IQ people have. There is always 1 dude who thinks he is so far ahead in IQ that only he can see the truth, hes deep into conspiracy theories and claims ridiculous things like 'climate change is fake, we had snow this winter, no scientist can explain the snow' a few people there would contest this but then he would open his conspiracy blogs. Some people are supporting his thoughts. I wish I could share the specifics of these conversations but if any of them are on this sub I would give away my identity.
The open minded people that I was expecting to meet are not at these meetups.
So my question is why? How come even high IQ cannot be convinced to change their mind when you present them with an alternative view with proof. I always assume this would not be an issue with Mensans but have been utterly disappointed. Interested to know everyone else's experience at these meets.

Warning : this is probably the longest post I've ever written. It's awful. If you're expecting something short, run for your safety. Otherwise, take your time and have fun.
So Kaiser and Ness have always been pretty interesting characters since their introduction, but with the most recent chapters and especially ever since the Ness flashback, things have been intensifying and there's a lot going on around these two, especially with potential developments that might happen during the PxG match. Definitely some of my favorite characters in the story thematically.
This will be a huge post analyzing, dissecting and aiming to understand the psyches of both Ness and Kaiser, by following their stories individually, as well as how they intertwine together, how their pattern of relationship is very important to the story as a whole, as well as trying to review a lot of information in hindsight that might make a lot more sense now that we virtually have their entire stories.

Part I : Ness, the Wizard

So it all starts with Alexis Ness, a German kid born into a very stereotypical scientist family of reddit atheists, as well as the following sentence : "(my parents) taught me that it's possible to explain everything that happens on earth".
https://preview.redd.it/467quusc7s0d1.jpg?width=960&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8c94fce3eb7d93edfad74f154bcb62b3f0cc072d
This first sentence already sets a very important tone with Ness' character. He is dreamy, he's a child full of wonder with a bit of an obsession for finding magic in things, born into a family that dismisses the existence of unexplainable concepts as a whole and lambasts him for believing in them at all, even as a child. Ness is an irrational being, born into an extremely rational environment, and that fact alone alienates him from his passion, and drives him to keep going until he finds something or someone that will understand him.
Ness has a passion for the unexplainable, not the scientific unexplainable, but more the "incredible" unexplainable, things that seem too fantastic to be believed at first, and yet are still true. He also assimilates his sadness with the lack of understanding from his family among the things that he deems to be unexplainable, whether by his family or himself. Ness has a passion for magic, cannot explain why, and that's part of why he believes in magic so much. His passion is self defined.
And that passion for seeking magic in things, is also what drives him to soccer. The joy that people feel, the roaring fans, the celebrations that come from goals, Ness feels as though soccer is what will allow him to truly bring magic into this world. Which is why I theorize, that with Ness' drive for playing soccer being to bring magic on the field, he might be a self-type ego that seeks to bring magic, the same way Barou seeks the feeling of being the king of the field, or Bachira to become one with the ball (this is a very common theme with self type egos, I might make a post about this one of these days). This is a very important point if we want to understand where Ness' current development in the PxG match could be going.
https://preview.redd.it/2pwr3hio7s0d1.jpg?width=960&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=467615cdabc6a0ae6cebea3896dd0d4a29f74989
Ness then takes matters into his own hands and trains relentlessly to pass the Bastard Munchen tryouts, the best club in Germany, so he can have a shot at turning his dream into reality. Ness plays quite well and even shows skills that should allow him to be better than the current BM selection, but he runs into a massive problem ; his individual skills do allow him to keep up, but his plays are ineffective. His magic doesn't work on the world, and the biggest reason why is that no one on the field can keep up with his thinking. Ness lacks the partner that will help make his vision come true.
https://preview.redd.it/h3t5pj628s0d1.jpg?width=960&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=20fa753b3d1e362981725295f453e7df8c592712
And that's when a certain someone makes their appearance.

Part II : Kaiser, the Blue Rose

It all starts with Michael Kaiser, a different German child with a very different upbringing, but whose destiny would end up crossing paths with that of Ness.
Kaiser grew up in the ashes of a destroyed family. His dad was a theatre director, his mom was an actress, who ended up leaving his dad soon after his birth. His father, unable to bear the weight of both an unwanted child and a failed love life, ended up sinking into alcoholism, gambling addiction and domestic violence.
His father having wasted his fortune completely and being unwilling to work, Kaiser was forced to learn how to steal very early in his life, but his disgusting father's self loathing, resentment and regret towards Michael's mother still ended up reaching him through his father's constant abuse. The treatment he got from his father was the only definition of love Kaiser has ever had, and he ended up internalizing this notion, as well as the feeling that he was not wanted in this world.
https://preview.redd.it/pbjmwago8s0d1.jpg?width=960&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d8e88e9839891a7c7ac9e26abd27403fde3c1331
Kaiser grew up, and started saving up money from selling the more valuable items that he would steal. For his twelfth birthday, he decided to buy something for himself that would actually allow him to feel alive and closer to his far away objective of leaving his father one day. And that is how he stumbled upon football.
Unlike Ness however, who developed a passion for football simply because he saw magic in it, Kaiser developed an unhealthy attachment to football that would mimic his relationship to his father. It didn't matter how much he abused the ball, the ball wouldn't respond or protest, it'd just stay by his side silently. Kaiser saw in the ball the same form of attachment that his father showed him, he saw himself in the ball, an unwanted piece of trash that would silently take the abuse that was dished out to him. Because that was the only behavior that his father ever showed to him, Kaiser ended up assimilating abuse and violence to love. That is how Kaiser became an abuser himself, which is a very important facet of his character : cycles repeat themselves, and abusers create potential future abusers.
https://preview.redd.it/1nw0aoxs8s0d1.jpg?width=960&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d0fb7ff24ec0a70cd1c141a6084d231931d1c1b0
Where Kaiser's story really begins though is when he is framed for a crime he didn't commit and the police enter their home for a search. Kaiser gets hit by his dad, the police find the money he was keeping from his father, and he's about to lose everything that would allow him to leave this life. Kaiser, at that moment, accepts the abuse again, and decides against his own heart that he'd simply take whatever sentence he gets and start saving up money again once he's out. He instinctively changes his mind when his dad decides to poke a few holes into his soccer ball though.
https://preview.redd.it/419kda1z8s0d1.jpg?width=1920&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fd23734280fee0a5e45b3b2f432dd3a4bc1a4437
Though Kaiser has an awful definition of what love or attachment really is, the love that he developed for football was still as pure as he could muster. And instinctively, as he sees his father about to destroy the only thing he's ever managed to feel attachment towards, Kaiser rises against the odds and fights as hard as he can. As the narrator says it himself, this is when Kaiser's identity was truly born. This is another very important element that we'll have to keep for later.
https://preview.redd.it/bwc3c8i09s0d1.jpg?width=960&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=db6e687a46405976f724c2a652d139f9e8618dd1
Kaiser then goes on to get scouted by a certain PIFA executive named Ray Dark, who heard of the fact that he managed to take out multiple police officers with just a soccer ball. Kaiser is encouraged by Ray Dark to pass the BM tryouts, and is already determined to get as far away as possible from his former life, and this is where Kaiser's ego starts to badly mutate from its purest form, all because of the consequences of his father's abusive behavior : Kaiser is incapable of accepting any form of kindness and is very incline to violence.
Kaiser, from the second he enters the facility and starts training with the rest of the potential recruits, manages to make enemies through his extremely antagonistic behavior. He consistently picks fights, which obviously leads to situations where he's systematically in the wrong, and to people refusing to play with him in the moments that matter the most. This is where the Kaiser Impact is born ; Kaiser decides to create a weapon that won't just help him, but make sure he asserts full and total dominance over others. But he doesn't stop there.
https://preview.redd.it/vru5ubo89s0d1.jpg?width=960&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=47b1282e4c7c8a7e9f351e1624d440b5759a12c7
Kaiser starts studying elements of psychology, and his goal is strictly to find out how to manipulate someone and make sure that they would serve him during matches. He needed a lackey, that would serve him under all circumstances, and the best way to find that lackey was to find someone that was close to breaking under pressure and despair.
And this is where the BM tryouts start.

Part III : Perspectives

This is where the duo meets for the first time, and their perspectives on the situation are very different from one another, but very similar in one aspect : they provide each other with what they need.
https://preview.redd.it/vyrcjzv8as0d1.jpg?width=960&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5d0c94fb7754c4ad6ea8c6cd5eeb352149c4e994
Ness starts out the BM tryout match very hopeful, but realizes that his individual abilities are his only functional tool and that he can't manage to spark magic with the teammates that he currently has. Ness is in a situation of despair, where he is realizing that he might not make it, and that his family was right to treat him the way they did.
Kaiser in the meantime, is in the exact opposite situation. He is alone, certainly, but also not worried : all he is doing is looking for someone with good enough skills, and in a precarious situation whose heart he can safely erode and tame. Ness needs someone to show him that magic does exist ; Kaiser needs a lackey that he can use to reach his goals. Ness needs a friend, Kaiser needs a test subject. Their relationship, is by definition profoundly unequal, and for that reason, Kaiser is also the only one of the two to be aware of that fact.
https://preview.redd.it/v9ezbkfjas0d1.jpg?width=960&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4b0613b95305a64ebc6041d1c2b8a73052a6473a
The rest of the match is pretty obvious : Ness finds a good partner to make his imagination come to fruition, Kaiser finds a dog to feed him passes, they get a hat trick together and are selected for the BM team. The important point though, is that Ness didn't actually find despair in that match : he was on the brink of realizing that he couldn't bring magic alone, but the second he was about to either give up or awaken, Kaiser came to him and became his provider for the magic he was seeking. That is the best way to make Ness' ego, his very being, dependent on Kaiser's existence.
This panel shows this best : Ness' play would've been suboptimal for anyone else, his magic would not have been sufficient for a different player. Kaiser's individual ability however, is so overwhelming that he effortlessly brings Ness the magic he seeks. Ness' magic wouldn't have worked if it wasn't for Kaiser.
Ness has never known what it feels like to create magic alone, and therefore he associates magic to Kaiser's presence. If Kaiser himself fails, that implies a personal failure on Ness' part since it means his magic didn't function. That's an extremely important element to understand for the codependency element of these two characters, and that's part of the reason why Ness has constantly been extremely defensive of every single one of Kaiser's failures so far in the story : the same way Kaiser's dream slowly became his own, his failures feel just as much his as they are Kaiser's.
https://preview.redd.it/0pl31b2abs0d1.jpg?width=960&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1137ca6530c1ec0ae89b1a7f0a3be49cf24f1ba3
Kaiser then goes on to become a very vicious player that specifically tries to scar his opponents as much as possible. The impossibility that Kaiser strives for, has become something he wants to incarnate for his opponents, an impossible behemoth to slay, the same way his dad was to him. Kaiser acknowledges this, however he associates the feeling of losing to such impossibility to weakness. To Kaiser, the fact that he let his father mistreat him for that long seems to be proof that he used to be a weak person, and that the true way to fight is to become just as evil and incarnate that feeling of impossibility to other people, as he says it to Ness : "Believing in the impossible is a curse, the instant people believe in the impossible is when they decide to give up. It's a survival instinct to guard against heartbreak, that's the way of weaklings, they kill themselves through this curse. Weaklings who dilute the purity of their egos to live longer are what I hate most in this world".
Kaiser has rationalized the abuse that he has gone through by assimilating his behavior to weakness, instead of recognizing this was the behavior of a child trying desperately to survive against impossible odds. The fact that he sees his past behavior as such and that he decided that he should become an abuser himself to get power back over his life, is already proof that his father's abuse won over his ego, and he doesn't know it himself. This is why his ego is fragile and diluted, and that's how he lost his way.
https://preview.redd.it/gnr2pmijbs0d1.jpg?width=960&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7e9c07a3f25650ab84e6cd8b3bc90d301a7d313b

Part IV : The reality of impossibility

This is where the NEL comes in. From what we know of Kaiser's objectives with the NEL, he has come to crush the local japanese ace, to give himself a publicity boost that would either prove to the world that he isn't inferior to Noel Noa, or to get himself a contract that would allow him to get out of his current club, both so he could compete with Noa in a less direct way, and therefore not have to face the impossible task that is destroying the system that has been built around him.
Both his intention of trying to destroy Isagi by showing him how impossible it is to beat him, and his intention to avoid beating Noa directly by instead trying to publicize himself as being a striker of equal mettle, show how his ego has been twisted from what it originally was : Kaiser has become addicted to the feeling of incarnating impossibility to other players and crushing them, and he has become very avoidant of any challenges that could seem impossible to him, the same way his father's abuse seemed impossible to overcome. He has created himself a predatory mentality unfit for a competitor, and he did it all as a survival mechanism to fight against impossible odds.
The problem really starts however, when his plan backfires, and it turns out the japanese ace specifically thrives on impossible challenges and does not stop improving. Isagi Yoichi, by the time of the PxG match, has become the incarnation of the impossible odds that Kaiser usually wants to avoid, but this time he is conflicted since Isagi is also the exact type of player that Kaiser wants to crush : he is forced to face his own fear, and the more the odds are against him, the more impossibility will catch up to Kaiser. Which is exactly what might lead to Ness' awakening.
https://preview.redd.it/cl0fcuo5cs0d1.jpg?width=960&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2eb5a41479308384a1dc7cdb9f4be2a40891ea55
Since Ness attributes his magic to Kaiser's success, seeing Kaiser fail (and maybe even resent him for it), is most likely what will bring Ness to the pit of despair that he got to escape from back in the BM tryouts. Ness will have to face his fear of not being able to bring magic to the world alone. And with what's been foreshadowed, I believe Ness' awakening will come with some sort of cooperation with Isagi, which in turn will make Kaiser realize that he is back to facing the impossible behemoth that he faced not so long ago. This is what will make him revert to his purest ego. But what is his purest ego exactly ?

Final part : Conclusions, and Kaiser's true ego

We finally get to the part where I stop holding everything back and I tell what's on my mind.

1. I'll start with something very important : duos in Blue Lock are always doomed unless they become more than the sum of their parts.

Kaiser and Ness' duo made me realize it, especially with their very obvious parallels to Reo and Nagi, but duos often start out with one of the players (and sometimes both players) attributing a part of their ego to their partner. That right there, is exactly how egos are stifled.
In the case of Kaiser, though his intention was to manipulate Ness, he ended up creating an association in Ness' mind where though Ness sees his purpose in life to bring magic through football, he attributes his ability to bring magic to Kaiser, which means that in Ness' mind, he is incapable of doing it alone. I don't believe that's the case, but for Ness to prove it to himself, he has to try doing it first. The PxG match is the perfect opportunity for this, but that's not all.
https://preview.redd.it/p2zv1za0es0d1.jpg?width=1124&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=dad6ddd89aca9f05adb18cc06825f6337f7b3702
Sae and Rin are also a very important example of this, since Sae knew from the start that having Rin associate him to his ego and use him as a reason to play football was a death sentence for both of them. I believe that Sae truly does want to win the Champion's league with his brother, but has let go of that dream and has tried to force Rin to do it as well to make sure both of them would reach their potential before hitting the wall that is the world level.
Reo has always attributed his dream of winning the world cup to the fact that he has Nagi by his side, and cannot really imagine achieving this dream without him. However, if Reo truly wants to evolve, I'm sure a lot of you are already anticipating this, but he has to let go of Nagi and evolve alone, which he most likely will do during the Manshine-Barcha match. Nagi himself doesn't have an objective, and has always improved as a player with the intention of helping Reo achieve his dream, which means that part of his ego is simply helping another player achieve his. Unless the both of them seperate at least temporarily, then Reo will never gain the confidence to achieve his dream alone, Nagi will never gain the ego to have his own dream and play football for the sake of his own passion, and neither of them will be able to cooperate on their common vision of winning together. And the way I know all of this ?
Is because Isagi and Bachira have already showed us the path of how a good duo functions. Bachira almost never awakened his true ego all because his loneliness made him see Isagi as essential to his well being, it forced him to look for players that would be able to keep up with his best football, and when he found them, he already thought he had won. Bachira realized that the only way he could keep playing with the players he admires and wants to rival, is by believing in his way of playing football instead of putting his belief in someone else. This is how duos survive : by having both players becoming better and fulfilled individually, and constantly pushing each other to individually become better before they rely on each other for victory.
https://preview.redd.it/bcjasudces0d1.jpg?width=1200&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b6339a69e35ab6868f134742dbd1b56cd1db4d27

1. To get back to Kaiser and Ness, what that means is that Ness' evolution has to come at the cost of his dependence on Kaiser, and Kaiser's evolution has to come at the cost of the introspection he has to do to understand where his true nature comes from : this specific moment.

https://preview.redd.it/19jdamedcs0d1.jpg?width=960&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=14f345c0c401e1be17aae850a33fc3faf259303b
My belief is that Kaiser's ego to incarnate the impossible isn't actually wrong, it's just taken from the wrong perspective. What Kaiser was since the very start, isn't a mindless perpatrator of violence that does it out of pleasure for crushing others : What Kaiser is, is a survivor.
\"I'll leave here someday.\"
No matter how tough the situation, no matter how much his father beat him, Kaiser never stopped believing or dreaming that he would one day free himself from his situation and rise against adversity. It might've been a small flame at first, but when his ego truly awakened was when he actually fought back for the first time. Kaiser isn't an impossible being because he is an unbeatable, violent monster, he is an impossible being because he rises against impossible odds no matter what.
\"The boy dreamed about going on a journey someday.\"
He is unfathomably resilient, and that is something that was very specifically cultivated from his experience of victimhood : Kaiser couldn't have become this kind of person if he was simply an abuser the same way his father was (which is currently what is stifling his ego), the only way he can be this impossible being is by going through what he did and surviving.
And in fact, that's also something that been shown in the manga already. After all, the only moment so far where Kaiser has showed us what could be his greatest performance, was when he had to rely on a play Isagi made to get a goal opportunity, and managed to beat 4 defenders (one of them being the best U20), culminating in a goal that's impossible to replicate even for the greatest players. Kaiser might be a self type ego that seeks impossible situations to reach flow.
https://preview.redd.it/rcpi8xb3ds0d1.jpg?width=1920&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8b64e5c2db2df699852631c44c4f308fb3efc417
A player's personality is often reflected through their playstyle : that's the case with Kaiser, with his KI symbolizing his impossible dominance, and his MV symbolizing his manipulative way of playing with people ; which is why I don't believe it's a coincidence that the one time Kaiser has truly made a play no one else could replicate was when all odds were against him. And yet ironically, this is also the goal that Kaiser hates the most, because he still hates his younger self for not having fought back until the last moment. What he sees as weakness, is what is actually his greatest strength.
Anyways if you've read this far, thank you very much and congratulations, and if you have any, please tell me your thoughts in the comments.