For a special person quote
A strong person stands up for themself; a stronger person stands up for others.
2015.06.01 20:59 A strong person stands up for themself; a stronger person stands up for others.
The purpose of this community is to draw attention to reddit's contributions to the growing problem of radicalization on social media. We call for moderators and admins to take responsibility for their roles in the memeification & normalization of bigotry, hate, and violence. "Let not any one pacify his conscience by the delusion that he can do no harm if he takes no part, and forms no opinion. Bad men need nothing more to compass their ends, than that good men should look on and do nothing."
2011.08.05 19:02 Slashur_8 QuotesPorn
Words. Beautiful, beautiful words.
2008.03.11 21:04 /r/quotes: For your favorite quotes
Welcome to Quotes
2024.05.16 16:08 Parking_Apartment_70 A horror story that kind of happened to me, I had promised it to my friend u/Cyrus1404, upvote his original post not here!
Anyway this is the second story, that I was talking about, this happened fairly recently, I mean, about 4-5 years ago, it was during a particularly difficult time of life, I had lost my friends (not literally, just lost contact), my GF cheated and left me, then came back with an even wilder propostion, which kind of messed me up even more, anyway, it was a time when I was also doing my JEE preparation, and had gotten selected in top batch of one of the most prestigious coaching centres (I was an asshole to think it was ann accomplishment), anyway, I was studying 8-10 hours a day, I was irritable, used to go to school, have fun with friends, then leave it for my coaching and travelled in metro for 2-2.5 hours to reach my coaching centre and generally used to leave by 9-9:30. Anyway, it was January, and my father had some function, so, he had kind of promised that he'd pick me up, en route to Noida. He was so, I ended up standing there till 11, So, he comes, he's with his friend, and another collegue, my father is a teetotaller, he doesn't drink, both of his other collegues were visibly inebriated, his other collegue, was a lady, who was on the phone with her husband, pertaining to some stuff, anyway other guy, who I knew btw (Sadly he's not here anymore) was talking to me about bunch of stuff, asking what I learned, normal stuff that you do, anyway driver started the car, well, it was alright, we were having fun, it was Saturday, so, the 93.5 was on (Top 20 bangers from the week), we were singing, vibing, it was really cool.
Anyway, I had heard in passing about Nicholson Cemetary before, I had been there twice, once with bunch of friends, where we did some weird things including kicking a tombstone, I managed to crack it, my other friend managed to break a part of it, fun I thought, it was actually a tour about 1857 Revolt in Delhi, so, we where allowed to go to lot of areas, where most people are not! Anyway, that's where I heard this rumor that this cemetary is supposed to haunted, I was like right, lol, all cemetaries are haunted, anyway, back to the story: This cemetary was supposed to be in our way, now, I am a believer in ghosts but am not coward, so, I was fine so, were all of the other compatriots in that car. So, off we went anyway, even if you won't believe in ghosts, you'll agree that some people and place tend to have a weird vibe associated with them, and this place is like that, you'll feel a weird heaviness in the air nearby, you'll visibly uneasy, you'll feel that someone is kind of watching you at all times, it's kind of difficult to explain! Anyway, it was supposed to be a long 2 hour drive, so, we just went around didn't really pay attention to surroundings much, well, I was kinda dozing off, but suddenly, my father's coworker she draw the attention to the guy standing near the cemetary's door, now, I being a devout Hindu, am not much sure about Christian burial rituals, but all of us were of firm consensus that they were not supposed to happen at 12-12:30 at night, later we actually confirmed it, so, yeah! Well, he had a bouquet of those whites flowers, was dressed very formally, almost too elegently for any function, so, I deduced it was supposed to be pretty important funeral, anyway there wasn't any other person standing nearby, just a huge white cross above him, painted over an entrance and two small one's adorning the gates, and even gates were closed, only thing, we could conclusively see from there was the generic information about the cemetary, nothing more. Anyway, our car kind of slowed down, and it fully came to halt, I dunno why but our driver had weird fetish of talking to weird men, in weird attire hanging around in weird places. He stopped the car, kind of parked it, near the cemetary so we had a full view of everything and jumped out.
My and me dad were daredevils, two other were drunk, what do think we were feeling? It was pure joy, while the driver was scared shit! Anyway, there's this guy atleast as tall as me, dressed like someone who'd surely say Shashi Tharoor is not eloquent enough, with a bunch of mourning flowers in his hand, what could go wrong? Anyway, fear kind of elected to join me waiting, the driver reached that guy. Anyway, it was obvious that driver was having a hardtime communicating with that guy, I mean obviously, but he kind of managed to communicate with him that it seemed creepy for him to hang around cemetaries at night, anyway whatever entity he was, was cordial enough to consider not hurting his feelings and must have said something about leaving in few minutes, our driver cameback, almost too proud of himself, hopped on driving seat and we all gave him a standing ovation, like he managed to convince that Churchill looking mf, to put it mildly "shove it in", anyway as soon as we turned to see him, he was gone, like nothing, poof! There was no door opening or closing, no car nearby, no leaf unturned, the guy just vanished. It was weird! Anyway, now, the daredevilry and drinks were turning against us, we were paranoid, almost messed up, for driver it took sometime to understand what he had done, he just told a ghost, yes, a literal ghost to leave his area of interest, the charm was cast, the Pompeii was warned, the Rubicon was crossed, and yet, he went out to investigate, I knew that if he was a ghost he'd prolly be looking for me, for some kind of sick twisted revenge for breaking his lovely tombstone. So, I was petrified, but like a knightess in shining armour, my father's coworker went out to check with driver, and result came the same, no proof of that guy ever existing, no flowers, no prints, nothing, nada! They came back, she was feeling kind of uneasy so, she drank some water, maybe it was the drinks or something, but she kind of threw up nearby, we just skidaddled off from there.
Now, while moving through a particularly empty road, my father's friend just said, jokingly, I didn't know the guy we saw earlier was your friend, and there that guy was, just standing nearby, sort of in a grassy side of the road, he didn't flowers with him, he was wearing the similar outfit, I mean, we were some distance away from that prolly 2-3kms from there, there was no other way to reach there, there were cars nearby, not too many, but you know Delhi traffic, right? Maybe, it was a different person, I mean, could be, but he was looking directly upto us, like he remembered the car, well, again my driver wanted to confront him, but we just said fuck off and drove off.
Well, he kind of was a unlucky omen for all of us, the female coworker of my dad lost her husband in COVID, my dad broke his leg in an accident later, the driver was let go and we don't know what happened after that to him, I kind of suffered from deep times of melencholy and depression after that, I actually had to be properly treated, and my father's friend died, his COVID treatment kind of destroyed his family financially, he just left his wife and three children, two of them are in college now, and my father along with his friends are paying for their tuition. Anyway, this story could just very well, be some unique collection of coincidences, I know, and obviously, it wasn't anything special in large cities to know two people, who died during COVID, but it's just something, I have thought about a lot, my father on the other hand still doesn't believe it, although that female coworker of his, does agree with me, she's a friend of my moms, she's the one who told my mother this story, about 2-3 years later, anyway, my mom did this whole elaborate ritual for "Nazar Removal", she consulted a lot of pundits, and other things, my father just joked around saying that he was pretty sure that the ghost or fiend or whatever that entity was, was definately not Hindu.
Anyway, this story is kind of ongoing because apparently, the father's coworker claims, she's still having nightmares, I mean, I can't blame her, she's about 35 and has already lost her husband, she doesn't have a family and her husband's family is not excepting her and her baby (They had a love marriage, that too with consent from both sides, but still I dunno). She's trying counciling, and also going bit into religion, she meets us like every other month, so, yeah, she's brearing the blunt of this.
I have third story too, it kind of happened to friend of me (although I was also there), that too just few months ago, so, it's again quite fresh, just message if you want to hear it too.
Visit this and upvote this, don't upvote this post, I just wanted to create the comment but couldn't! This is in response to his post!
https://www.reddit.com/indiasocial/comments/1csfeoa/whats_the_creepiest_thing_youve_witnessed_irl/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
submitted by Parking_Apartment_70 to indiasocial [link] [comments]
Anyway, I had heard in passing about Nicholson Cemetary before, I had been there twice, once with bunch of friends, where we did some weird things including kicking a tombstone, I managed to crack it, my other friend managed to break a part of it, fun I thought, it was actually a tour about 1857 Revolt in Delhi, so, we where allowed to go to lot of areas, where most people are not! Anyway, that's where I heard this rumor that this cemetary is supposed to haunted, I was like right, lol, all cemetaries are haunted, anyway, back to the story: This cemetary was supposed to be in our way, now, I am a believer in ghosts but am not coward, so, I was fine so, were all of the other compatriots in that car. So, off we went anyway, even if you won't believe in ghosts, you'll agree that some people and place tend to have a weird vibe associated with them, and this place is like that, you'll feel a weird heaviness in the air nearby, you'll visibly uneasy, you'll feel that someone is kind of watching you at all times, it's kind of difficult to explain! Anyway, it was supposed to be a long 2 hour drive, so, we just went around didn't really pay attention to surroundings much, well, I was kinda dozing off, but suddenly, my father's coworker she draw the attention to the guy standing near the cemetary's door, now, I being a devout Hindu, am not much sure about Christian burial rituals, but all of us were of firm consensus that they were not supposed to happen at 12-12:30 at night, later we actually confirmed it, so, yeah! Well, he had a bouquet of those whites flowers, was dressed very formally, almost too elegently for any function, so, I deduced it was supposed to be pretty important funeral, anyway there wasn't any other person standing nearby, just a huge white cross above him, painted over an entrance and two small one's adorning the gates, and even gates were closed, only thing, we could conclusively see from there was the generic information about the cemetary, nothing more. Anyway, our car kind of slowed down, and it fully came to halt, I dunno why but our driver had weird fetish of talking to weird men, in weird attire hanging around in weird places. He stopped the car, kind of parked it, near the cemetary so we had a full view of everything and jumped out.
My and me dad were daredevils, two other were drunk, what do think we were feeling? It was pure joy, while the driver was scared shit! Anyway, there's this guy atleast as tall as me, dressed like someone who'd surely say Shashi Tharoor is not eloquent enough, with a bunch of mourning flowers in his hand, what could go wrong? Anyway, fear kind of elected to join me waiting, the driver reached that guy. Anyway, it was obvious that driver was having a hardtime communicating with that guy, I mean obviously, but he kind of managed to communicate with him that it seemed creepy for him to hang around cemetaries at night, anyway whatever entity he was, was cordial enough to consider not hurting his feelings and must have said something about leaving in few minutes, our driver cameback, almost too proud of himself, hopped on driving seat and we all gave him a standing ovation, like he managed to convince that Churchill looking mf, to put it mildly "shove it in", anyway as soon as we turned to see him, he was gone, like nothing, poof! There was no door opening or closing, no car nearby, no leaf unturned, the guy just vanished. It was weird! Anyway, now, the daredevilry and drinks were turning against us, we were paranoid, almost messed up, for driver it took sometime to understand what he had done, he just told a ghost, yes, a literal ghost to leave his area of interest, the charm was cast, the Pompeii was warned, the Rubicon was crossed, and yet, he went out to investigate, I knew that if he was a ghost he'd prolly be looking for me, for some kind of sick twisted revenge for breaking his lovely tombstone. So, I was petrified, but like a knightess in shining armour, my father's coworker went out to check with driver, and result came the same, no proof of that guy ever existing, no flowers, no prints, nothing, nada! They came back, she was feeling kind of uneasy so, she drank some water, maybe it was the drinks or something, but she kind of threw up nearby, we just skidaddled off from there.
Now, while moving through a particularly empty road, my father's friend just said, jokingly, I didn't know the guy we saw earlier was your friend, and there that guy was, just standing nearby, sort of in a grassy side of the road, he didn't flowers with him, he was wearing the similar outfit, I mean, we were some distance away from that prolly 2-3kms from there, there was no other way to reach there, there were cars nearby, not too many, but you know Delhi traffic, right? Maybe, it was a different person, I mean, could be, but he was looking directly upto us, like he remembered the car, well, again my driver wanted to confront him, but we just said fuck off and drove off.
Well, he kind of was a unlucky omen for all of us, the female coworker of my dad lost her husband in COVID, my dad broke his leg in an accident later, the driver was let go and we don't know what happened after that to him, I kind of suffered from deep times of melencholy and depression after that, I actually had to be properly treated, and my father's friend died, his COVID treatment kind of destroyed his family financially, he just left his wife and three children, two of them are in college now, and my father along with his friends are paying for their tuition. Anyway, this story could just very well, be some unique collection of coincidences, I know, and obviously, it wasn't anything special in large cities to know two people, who died during COVID, but it's just something, I have thought about a lot, my father on the other hand still doesn't believe it, although that female coworker of his, does agree with me, she's a friend of my moms, she's the one who told my mother this story, about 2-3 years later, anyway, my mom did this whole elaborate ritual for "Nazar Removal", she consulted a lot of pundits, and other things, my father just joked around saying that he was pretty sure that the ghost or fiend or whatever that entity was, was definately not Hindu.
Anyway, this story is kind of ongoing because apparently, the father's coworker claims, she's still having nightmares, I mean, I can't blame her, she's about 35 and has already lost her husband, she doesn't have a family and her husband's family is not excepting her and her baby (They had a love marriage, that too with consent from both sides, but still I dunno). She's trying counciling, and also going bit into religion, she meets us like every other month, so, yeah, she's brearing the blunt of this.
I have third story too, it kind of happened to friend of me (although I was also there), that too just few months ago, so, it's again quite fresh, just message if you want to hear it too.
Visit this and upvote this, don't upvote this post, I just wanted to create the comment but couldn't! This is in response to his post!
https://www.reddit.com/indiasocial/comments/1csfeoa/whats_the_creepiest_thing_youve_witnessed_irl/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
2024.05.16 16:06 aremarkableman KS for books - general questions and your experience
I'm considering a kickstarter for a special version of my duet as a single book. I'm also considering KS for the release of two new nonfictions I have been ready to publish.
My thought was to create a very slick version that has a rich looking/feeling cover as well as edge painting for the fiction trilogy. I attempted this via KDP but ran into size limitations (and obviously no 'fun' cover options).
My other thought was using KS as a way to get beta readers for the nonfiction. It has a 100 page workbook at the end that tells you why you're attracted to the people you're attracted to, why yopu have the friends you have, and why you like that person in the mirror.
Success stories and input are often included in my nonfictions when I release them, and a recent one was endorsed by a clinical psychologist.
I've published nine books (fiction and nonfiction) via Amazon KDP, so that is my experience data. I have an extensive author site. ISBNs are not an issue.
Questions:
submitted by aremarkableman to kickstarter [link] [comments]
My thought was to create a very slick version that has a rich looking/feeling cover as well as edge painting for the fiction trilogy. I attempted this via KDP but ran into size limitations (and obviously no 'fun' cover options).
My other thought was using KS as a way to get beta readers for the nonfiction. It has a 100 page workbook at the end that tells you why you're attracted to the people you're attracted to, why yopu have the friends you have, and why you like that person in the mirror.
Success stories and input are often included in my nonfictions when I release them, and a recent one was endorsed by a clinical psychologist.
I've published nine books (fiction and nonfiction) via Amazon KDP, so that is my experience data. I have an extensive author site. ISBNs are not an issue.
Questions:
- How does one get started? Any tips are helpful for this newbie.
- Any leads on printing companies that can supply unique cover printing options?
- Your general experience on either buying books through KS or having your own campaign (good or bad I'd love to hear about it!)
- I assume fiction vs. nonfiction are markedly different approaches?
2024.05.16 16:06 FamousBake6198 Can they really change?
Hi, bit of an update here after going NC with my WH for a full month. I think I’m also just needing to vent about some worries of mine. Overall though, if you’re scared of going NC with your WW, just do it. Do both of yourselves a favor and do it. There’s more positives than negatives to going NC for at least a month.
NC was HARD the first 2 weeks. I spent the first week crying, posting here for an inkling of reassurance, panic attacks. I was having genuine withdrawal from my WH, the same way you’d had drug withdrawals. NC terrified me. I felt like I had no control over the situation, I had no idea what he was doing, if he was still talking with his APs, nothing. Letting go of the need for control was one of the hardest parts.
I decided to set milestones for myself during that first week everytime I itched to call or text him. Everytime I had the urge I would tell myself “just make it to Friday and then we’ll send a quick text asking how he’s doing” and then when Friday arrived I would keep setting more milestones instead of actually breaking the NC. I spent a lot of my time journaling as well, mostly because my emotions were swinging back and forth between sad and absolutely pissed that he would do this to us.
By week 2 I decided I really needed to focus on me. It wasn’t looking good for us and I needed to find myself and unattach from this shitty situation. I started therapy and reading self help books, I downloaded an app for making local friends and found some really good ones and even met another girl who’s literally my best friend now, on Reddit I met some people in my city to create a local DnD group since it’s a special interest of mine and we all hit it off really well too luckily. I treated myself to new clothes, a new hairstyle that I LOVE, some new games I’ve been wanting, watching shows I knew my WH wouldn’t like. I started spending a lot of time with family. Weekly dinners, shopping, going to my younger cousins baseball games.
By the time week 4 rolled around, I hadn’t even realized it had been that long. I had just checked my phone and realized we were one day past the 4 week mark when my phone started ringing and it was my WH. We had a really emotionally charged conversation and he felt like a different person in a positive way. He wanted nothing more than to fix things and admitted that he was being a dumbass and understood if I hated his guts and wanted to serve him papers.
I told him everything I’d been feeling the entire past year when the online affairs started and how emotionally abusive and sometimes even verbally abusive our relationship had gotten. That I didn’t even recognize him, he was a totally different person than the man I married and had been with for the first 6 years. He said it killed him inside to think he’d ever been any form of abusive with anyone since he came from a home where he, his mother and his siblings were all abused.
He said he wants to be better, that he doesn’t want to be like that. That he’d be so grateful if I give him another chance. I told him I would love to, because I do see the potential in him to get better, but I’m also scared that it’ll backfire and he’ll cheat again in the future to which he said he understood those fears. It was all so nice. There was no gaslighting or blameshifting and ever since this conversation he’s shown nothing, but remorse. We think he has BPD, he has almost all of the symptoms, on top of his childhood trauma and trauma from being SA’d in a past relationship so we’re searching by together for a therapist that can help focus in on all of this on top of his cheating. Everything and every question I bring to him about the affair he’s been remembering for later to address with his therapist. He’s also been really understanding about wanting to live apart for at least a year and “dating again”.
I feel like I’m getting my old husband back again, the one from before his trauma and depression took him over last year. He’s been so sweet and patient and kind this past week, taking things at my pace, took me on a nice date, listens to every word I say, bought me my favorite flowers. I can’t help but be nervous though and keep wondering if this is all an act or lovebombing or that all of it’s only temporary and he’ll betray me again in the future or continue to while we live apart. All contact has been cut with the APs (apparently while we were apart but idk how to believe that), he let me watch him delete the discord account he used and he offered weekly check ins with his phone even if it made him uncomfortable because he wants to fix things so bad. But what stops him from finding more ways to hide things? How do I know I’m not wasting time staying with him? Can cheaters really change?
Sorry for the long post, I’m just feeling so many things. I want to believe he can change, but I hear so much negative and that cheaters can’t change at all.
submitted by FamousBake6198 to AsOneAfterInfidelity [link] [comments]
NC was HARD the first 2 weeks. I spent the first week crying, posting here for an inkling of reassurance, panic attacks. I was having genuine withdrawal from my WH, the same way you’d had drug withdrawals. NC terrified me. I felt like I had no control over the situation, I had no idea what he was doing, if he was still talking with his APs, nothing. Letting go of the need for control was one of the hardest parts.
I decided to set milestones for myself during that first week everytime I itched to call or text him. Everytime I had the urge I would tell myself “just make it to Friday and then we’ll send a quick text asking how he’s doing” and then when Friday arrived I would keep setting more milestones instead of actually breaking the NC. I spent a lot of my time journaling as well, mostly because my emotions were swinging back and forth between sad and absolutely pissed that he would do this to us.
By week 2 I decided I really needed to focus on me. It wasn’t looking good for us and I needed to find myself and unattach from this shitty situation. I started therapy and reading self help books, I downloaded an app for making local friends and found some really good ones and even met another girl who’s literally my best friend now, on Reddit I met some people in my city to create a local DnD group since it’s a special interest of mine and we all hit it off really well too luckily. I treated myself to new clothes, a new hairstyle that I LOVE, some new games I’ve been wanting, watching shows I knew my WH wouldn’t like. I started spending a lot of time with family. Weekly dinners, shopping, going to my younger cousins baseball games.
By the time week 4 rolled around, I hadn’t even realized it had been that long. I had just checked my phone and realized we were one day past the 4 week mark when my phone started ringing and it was my WH. We had a really emotionally charged conversation and he felt like a different person in a positive way. He wanted nothing more than to fix things and admitted that he was being a dumbass and understood if I hated his guts and wanted to serve him papers.
I told him everything I’d been feeling the entire past year when the online affairs started and how emotionally abusive and sometimes even verbally abusive our relationship had gotten. That I didn’t even recognize him, he was a totally different person than the man I married and had been with for the first 6 years. He said it killed him inside to think he’d ever been any form of abusive with anyone since he came from a home where he, his mother and his siblings were all abused.
He said he wants to be better, that he doesn’t want to be like that. That he’d be so grateful if I give him another chance. I told him I would love to, because I do see the potential in him to get better, but I’m also scared that it’ll backfire and he’ll cheat again in the future to which he said he understood those fears. It was all so nice. There was no gaslighting or blameshifting and ever since this conversation he’s shown nothing, but remorse. We think he has BPD, he has almost all of the symptoms, on top of his childhood trauma and trauma from being SA’d in a past relationship so we’re searching by together for a therapist that can help focus in on all of this on top of his cheating. Everything and every question I bring to him about the affair he’s been remembering for later to address with his therapist. He’s also been really understanding about wanting to live apart for at least a year and “dating again”.
I feel like I’m getting my old husband back again, the one from before his trauma and depression took him over last year. He’s been so sweet and patient and kind this past week, taking things at my pace, took me on a nice date, listens to every word I say, bought me my favorite flowers. I can’t help but be nervous though and keep wondering if this is all an act or lovebombing or that all of it’s only temporary and he’ll betray me again in the future or continue to while we live apart. All contact has been cut with the APs (apparently while we were apart but idk how to believe that), he let me watch him delete the discord account he used and he offered weekly check ins with his phone even if it made him uncomfortable because he wants to fix things so bad. But what stops him from finding more ways to hide things? How do I know I’m not wasting time staying with him? Can cheaters really change?
Sorry for the long post, I’m just feeling so many things. I want to believe he can change, but I hear so much negative and that cheaters can’t change at all.
2024.05.16 16:05 BraxxThemSklounst Mice in crawlspace - Best Value solutions?
Hi everyone,
I recently had Orkin come out for standard service and inform me that my crawlspace has mice. I need a new door, replace all vent screens, sanitation of space, and insulation removal/install.
Orkin was happy to quote for everything except insulation install. However, I’m in process of contacting other crawlspace companies for quotes.
Do you all have any pieces of advise for getting best value quotes based on the info above? I.e. should I have a crawlspace quote all of the above, or only part of it? I know the insulation is probably the biggest cost, should that be quoted by a speciality company separately for best price?
Thank you in advance! I am stressing lol!
submitted by BraxxThemSklounst to homeowners [link] [comments]
I recently had Orkin come out for standard service and inform me that my crawlspace has mice. I need a new door, replace all vent screens, sanitation of space, and insulation removal/install.
Orkin was happy to quote for everything except insulation install. However, I’m in process of contacting other crawlspace companies for quotes.
Do you all have any pieces of advise for getting best value quotes based on the info above? I.e. should I have a crawlspace quote all of the above, or only part of it? I know the insulation is probably the biggest cost, should that be quoted by a speciality company separately for best price?
Thank you in advance! I am stressing lol!
2024.05.16 16:04 SasquatchKing26 32 [M4F] Midwest US/Online - Looking for that Fairy Tale relationship :)
So maybe I just watched too many Disney movies when I was little, but I still believe in fairy tales! I imagine the kind of relationship you only see in movies. The long walks on the beach, holding hands while the sun sets. Buying you flowers just because it's Tuesday. I want to sing to you, and dance with you, and stare into your eyes and tell you how beautiful you are! I want to cook you the most delicious food you've ever eaten and share romantic candle-lit dinners with fancy drinks, and great conversations. I want to pamper you with massages and foot rubs as often as you'll let me, and leave you little notes with sweet messages for you to find throughout your day, just so you feel special. I want you to know I'm always thinking about you! I want to make you as happy as you make me! I want to wake up and smile knowing I've got the most amazing girl next to me. I'd just pull you close and cuddle and kiss you, hold you tight and never want to let you go. I want to fall asleep every night with that feeling of pure joy that you only get when in love!
Now a bit about me: Aside from being a bit of a hopeless romantic, I have blond hair and green eyes. I'm 5'10'' (177cm), decent shape. I've been told I'm cute, but I guess that's more for you to decide. I'm happy to share pics upon request or once we get to know eachother a little.
As for my personality, I'll give you some words to describe me: Sweet, shy, thoughtful, inquisitive, dedicated, affectionate, genuine, understanding, open-minded, dependable, and easy-going.
I love Sports (huge Philly Eagles Fan), Cooking (always trying new and interesting things or attempting to improve an old favorite), Horror movies (over-the-top 80s horrors are the BEST), all types of music (anything with a good vibe. I love listening to new releases and trying to keep up with the times. And secretly LOVE to sing when I'm alone in the car), Video games (All time favs are Super Mario 64, Skyrim, and Madden), Binge watching TV shows (I love falling asleep to reruns of Star Trek, Futurama, or It's Always Sunny). I enjoy meeting new people and discovering common interests. My favorite thing to do is travel and check out the sights and enjoy the night-life in new places.
Ultimately I'd love to find someone to find someone to just have a good time, enjoy each other's company, and create new experiences with! Just waiting for the right person. Because work keeps me so busy I don't find as much time as I'd like to get out and meet new people, but I figure Its better to not just limit myself to locals anyway. In theory, online should open up a few more opportunities..right!? 😂
Send me a chat! Tell me something fun about yourself, or just say Hi! I understand not everyone has time to type out a big elaborate response right now. But Im always interested to hear what's on your mind, talk about your day, or enjoy a flirty chat. So whatever you're up for is fine with me. I'd love to see a picture of you, but it's not required right away.
Sorry for the giant wall of text! And thanks for reading!
submitted by SasquatchKing26 to r4r [link] [comments]
Now a bit about me: Aside from being a bit of a hopeless romantic, I have blond hair and green eyes. I'm 5'10'' (177cm), decent shape. I've been told I'm cute, but I guess that's more for you to decide. I'm happy to share pics upon request or once we get to know eachother a little.
As for my personality, I'll give you some words to describe me: Sweet, shy, thoughtful, inquisitive, dedicated, affectionate, genuine, understanding, open-minded, dependable, and easy-going.
I love Sports (huge Philly Eagles Fan), Cooking (always trying new and interesting things or attempting to improve an old favorite), Horror movies (over-the-top 80s horrors are the BEST), all types of music (anything with a good vibe. I love listening to new releases and trying to keep up with the times. And secretly LOVE to sing when I'm alone in the car), Video games (All time favs are Super Mario 64, Skyrim, and Madden), Binge watching TV shows (I love falling asleep to reruns of Star Trek, Futurama, or It's Always Sunny). I enjoy meeting new people and discovering common interests. My favorite thing to do is travel and check out the sights and enjoy the night-life in new places.
Ultimately I'd love to find someone to find someone to just have a good time, enjoy each other's company, and create new experiences with! Just waiting for the right person. Because work keeps me so busy I don't find as much time as I'd like to get out and meet new people, but I figure Its better to not just limit myself to locals anyway. In theory, online should open up a few more opportunities..right!? 😂
Send me a chat! Tell me something fun about yourself, or just say Hi! I understand not everyone has time to type out a big elaborate response right now. But Im always interested to hear what's on your mind, talk about your day, or enjoy a flirty chat. So whatever you're up for is fine with me. I'd love to see a picture of you, but it's not required right away.
Sorry for the giant wall of text! And thanks for reading!
2024.05.16 16:02 FamousBake6198 Can cheaters change?
Hi, bit of an update here after going NC with my WH for a full month. I think I’m also just needing to vent about some worries of mine. Overall though, if you’re scared of going NC with your WW, just do it. Do both of yourselves a favor and do it. There’s more positives than negatives to going NC for at least a month.
NC was HARD the first 2 weeks. I spent the first week crying, posting here for an inkling of reassurance, panic attacks. I was having genuine withdrawal from my WH, the same way you’d had drug withdrawals. NC terrified me. I felt like I had no control over the situation, I had no idea what he was doing, if he was still talking with his APs, nothing. Letting go of the need for control was one of the hardest parts.
I decided to set milestones for myself during that first week everytime I itched to call or text him. Everytime I had the urge I would tell myself “just make it to Friday and then we’ll send a quick text asking how he’s doing” and then when Friday arrived I would keep setting more milestones instead of actually breaking the NC. I spent a lot of my time journaling as well, mostly because my emotions were swinging back and forth between sad and absolutely pissed that he would do this to us.
By week 2 I decided I really needed to focus on me. It wasn’t looking good for us and I needed to find myself and unattach from this shitty situation. I started therapy and reading self help books, I downloaded an app for making local friends and found some really good ones and even met another girl who’s literally my best friend now, on Reddit I met some people in my city to create a local DnD group since it’s a special interest of mine and we all hit it off really well too luckily. I treated myself to new clothes, a new hairstyle that I LOVE, some new games I’ve been wanting, watching shows I knew my WH wouldn’t like. I started spending a lot of time with family. Weekly dinners, shopping, going to my younger cousins baseball games.
By the time week 4 rolled around, I hadn’t even realized it had been that long. I had just checked my phone and realized we were one day past the 4 week mark when my phone started ringing and it was my WH. We had a really emotionally charged conversation and he felt like a different person in a positive way. He wanted nothing more than to fix things and admitted that he was being a dumbass and understood if I hated his guts and wanted to serve him papers.
I told him everything I’d been feeling the entire past year when the online affairs started and how emotionally abusive and sometimes even verbally abusive our relationship had gotten. That I didn’t even recognize him, he was a totally different person than the man I married and had been with for the first 6 years. He said it killed him inside to think he’d ever been any form of abusive with anyone since he came from a home where he, his mother and his siblings were all abused.
He said he wants to be better, that he doesn’t want to be like that. That he’d be so grateful if I give him another chance. I told him I would love to, because I do see the potential in him to get better, but I’m also scared that it’ll backfire and he’ll cheat again in the future to which he said he understood those fears. It was all so nice. There was no gaslighting or blameshifting and ever since this conversation he’s shown nothing, but remorse. We think he has BPD, he has almost all of the symptoms, on top of his childhood trauma and trauma from being SA’d in a past relationship so we’re searching by together for a therapist that can help focus in on all of this on top of his cheating. Everything and every question I bring to him about the affair he’s been remembering for later to address with his therapist. He’s also been really understanding about wanting to live apart for at least a year and “dating again”.
I feel like I’m getting my old husband back again, the one from before his trauma and depression took him over last year. He’s been so sweet and patient and kind this past week, taking things at my pace, took me on a nice date, listens to every word I say, bought me my favorite flowers. I can’t help but be nervous though and keep wondering if this is all an act or lovebombing or that all of it’s only temporary and he’ll betray me again in the future or continue to while we live apart. All contact has been cut with the APs (apparently while we were apart but idk how to believe that), he let me watch him delete the discord account he used and he offered weekly check ins with his phone even if it made him uncomfortable because he wants to fix things so bad. But what stops him from finding more ways to hide things? How do I know I’m not wasting time staying with him? Can cheaters really change?
Sorry for the long post, I’m just feeling so many things. I want to believe he can change, but I hear so much negative and that cheaters can’t change at all.
submitted by FamousBake6198 to AsOneAfterInfidelity [link] [comments]
NC was HARD the first 2 weeks. I spent the first week crying, posting here for an inkling of reassurance, panic attacks. I was having genuine withdrawal from my WH, the same way you’d had drug withdrawals. NC terrified me. I felt like I had no control over the situation, I had no idea what he was doing, if he was still talking with his APs, nothing. Letting go of the need for control was one of the hardest parts.
I decided to set milestones for myself during that first week everytime I itched to call or text him. Everytime I had the urge I would tell myself “just make it to Friday and then we’ll send a quick text asking how he’s doing” and then when Friday arrived I would keep setting more milestones instead of actually breaking the NC. I spent a lot of my time journaling as well, mostly because my emotions were swinging back and forth between sad and absolutely pissed that he would do this to us.
By week 2 I decided I really needed to focus on me. It wasn’t looking good for us and I needed to find myself and unattach from this shitty situation. I started therapy and reading self help books, I downloaded an app for making local friends and found some really good ones and even met another girl who’s literally my best friend now, on Reddit I met some people in my city to create a local DnD group since it’s a special interest of mine and we all hit it off really well too luckily. I treated myself to new clothes, a new hairstyle that I LOVE, some new games I’ve been wanting, watching shows I knew my WH wouldn’t like. I started spending a lot of time with family. Weekly dinners, shopping, going to my younger cousins baseball games.
By the time week 4 rolled around, I hadn’t even realized it had been that long. I had just checked my phone and realized we were one day past the 4 week mark when my phone started ringing and it was my WH. We had a really emotionally charged conversation and he felt like a different person in a positive way. He wanted nothing more than to fix things and admitted that he was being a dumbass and understood if I hated his guts and wanted to serve him papers.
I told him everything I’d been feeling the entire past year when the online affairs started and how emotionally abusive and sometimes even verbally abusive our relationship had gotten. That I didn’t even recognize him, he was a totally different person than the man I married and had been with for the first 6 years. He said it killed him inside to think he’d ever been any form of abusive with anyone since he came from a home where he, his mother and his siblings were all abused.
He said he wants to be better, that he doesn’t want to be like that. That he’d be so grateful if I give him another chance. I told him I would love to, because I do see the potential in him to get better, but I’m also scared that it’ll backfire and he’ll cheat again in the future to which he said he understood those fears. It was all so nice. There was no gaslighting or blameshifting and ever since this conversation he’s shown nothing, but remorse. We think he has BPD, he has almost all of the symptoms, on top of his childhood trauma and trauma from being SA’d in a past relationship so we’re searching by together for a therapist that can help focus in on all of this on top of his cheating. Everything and every question I bring to him about the affair he’s been remembering for later to address with his therapist. He’s also been really understanding about wanting to live apart for at least a year and “dating again”.
I feel like I’m getting my old husband back again, the one from before his trauma and depression took him over last year. He’s been so sweet and patient and kind this past week, taking things at my pace, took me on a nice date, listens to every word I say, bought me my favorite flowers. I can’t help but be nervous though and keep wondering if this is all an act or lovebombing or that all of it’s only temporary and he’ll betray me again in the future or continue to while we live apart. All contact has been cut with the APs (apparently while we were apart but idk how to believe that), he let me watch him delete the discord account he used and he offered weekly check ins with his phone even if it made him uncomfortable because he wants to fix things so bad. But what stops him from finding more ways to hide things? How do I know I’m not wasting time staying with him? Can cheaters really change?
Sorry for the long post, I’m just feeling so many things. I want to believe he can change, but I hear so much negative and that cheaters can’t change at all.
2024.05.16 16:01 FamousBake6198 Can cheaters change?
Hi, bit of an update here after going NC with my WH for a full month. I think I’m also just needing to vent about some worries of mine. Overall though, if you’re scared of going NC with your WW, just do it. Do both of yourselves a favor and do it. There’s more positives than negatives to going NC for at least a month.
NC was HARD the first 2 weeks. I spent the first week crying, posting here for an inkling of reassurance, panic attacks. I was having genuine withdrawal from my WH, the same way you’d had drug withdrawals. NC terrified me. I felt like I had no control over the situation, I had no idea what he was doing, if he was still talking with his APs, nothing. Letting go of the need for control was one of the hardest parts.
I decided to set milestones for myself during that first week everytime I itched to call or text him. Everytime I had the urge I would tell myself “just make it to Friday and then we’ll send a quick text asking how he’s doing” and then when Friday arrived I would keep setting more milestones instead of actually breaking the NC. I spent a lot of my time journaling as well, mostly because my emotions were swinging back and forth between sad and absolutely pissed that he would do this to us.
By week 2 I decided I really needed to focus on me. It wasn’t looking good for us and I needed to find myself and unattach from this shitty situation. I started therapy and reading self help books, I downloaded an app for making local friends and found some really good ones and even met another girl who’s literally my best friend now, on Reddit I met some people in my city to create a local DnD group since it’s a special interest of mine and we all hit it off really well too luckily. I treated myself to new clothes, a new hairstyle that I LOVE, some new games I’ve been wanting, watching shows I knew my WH wouldn’t like. I started spending a lot of time with family. Weekly dinners, shopping, going to my younger cousins baseball games.
By the time week 4 rolled around, I hadn’t even realized it had been that long. I had just checked my phone and realized we were one day past the 4 week mark when my phone started ringing and it was my WH. We had a really emotionally charged conversation and he felt like a different person in a positive way. He wanted nothing more than to fix things and admitted that he was being a dumbass and understood if I hated his guts and wanted to serve him papers.
I told him everything I’d been feeling the entire past year when the online affairs started and how emotionally abusive and sometimes even verbally abusive our relationship had gotten. That I didn’t even recognize him, he was a totally different person than the man I married and had been with for the first 6 years. He said it killed him inside to think he’d ever been any form of abusive with anyone since he came from a home where he, his mother and his siblings were all abused.
He said he wants to be better, that he doesn’t want to be like that. That he’d be so grateful if I give him another chance. I told him I would love to, because I do see the potential in him to get better, but I’m also scared that it’ll backfire and he’ll cheat again in the future to which he said he understood those fears. It was all so nice. There was no gaslighting or blameshifting and ever since this conversation he’s shown nothing, but remorse. We think he has BPD, he has almost all of the symptoms, on top of his childhood trauma and trauma from being SA’d in a past relationship so we’re searching by together for a therapist that can help focus in on all of this on top of his cheating. Everything and every question I bring to him about the affair he’s been remembering for later to address with his therapist. He’s also been really understanding about wanting to live apart for at least a year and “dating again”.
I feel like I’m getting my old husband back again, the one from before his trauma and depression took him over last year. He’s been so sweet and patient and kind this past week, taking things at my pace, took me on a nice date, listens to every word I say, bought me my favorite flowers. I can’t help but be nervous though and keep wondering if this is all an act or lovebombing or that all of it’s only temporary and he’ll betray me again in the future or continue to while we live apart. All contact has been cut with the APs (apparently while we were apart but idk how to believe that), he let me watch him delete the discord account he used and he offered weekly check ins with his phone even if it made him uncomfortable because he wants to fix things so bad. But what stops him from finding more ways to hide things? How do I know I’m not wasting time staying with him? Can cheaters really change?
Sorry for the long post, I’m just feeling so many things. I want to believe he can change, but I hear so much negative and that cheaters can’t change at all.
submitted by FamousBake6198 to AsOneAfterInfidelity [link] [comments]
NC was HARD the first 2 weeks. I spent the first week crying, posting here for an inkling of reassurance, panic attacks. I was having genuine withdrawal from my WH, the same way you’d had drug withdrawals. NC terrified me. I felt like I had no control over the situation, I had no idea what he was doing, if he was still talking with his APs, nothing. Letting go of the need for control was one of the hardest parts.
I decided to set milestones for myself during that first week everytime I itched to call or text him. Everytime I had the urge I would tell myself “just make it to Friday and then we’ll send a quick text asking how he’s doing” and then when Friday arrived I would keep setting more milestones instead of actually breaking the NC. I spent a lot of my time journaling as well, mostly because my emotions were swinging back and forth between sad and absolutely pissed that he would do this to us.
By week 2 I decided I really needed to focus on me. It wasn’t looking good for us and I needed to find myself and unattach from this shitty situation. I started therapy and reading self help books, I downloaded an app for making local friends and found some really good ones and even met another girl who’s literally my best friend now, on Reddit I met some people in my city to create a local DnD group since it’s a special interest of mine and we all hit it off really well too luckily. I treated myself to new clothes, a new hairstyle that I LOVE, some new games I’ve been wanting, watching shows I knew my WH wouldn’t like. I started spending a lot of time with family. Weekly dinners, shopping, going to my younger cousins baseball games.
By the time week 4 rolled around, I hadn’t even realized it had been that long. I had just checked my phone and realized we were one day past the 4 week mark when my phone started ringing and it was my WH. We had a really emotionally charged conversation and he felt like a different person in a positive way. He wanted nothing more than to fix things and admitted that he was being a dumbass and understood if I hated his guts and wanted to serve him papers.
I told him everything I’d been feeling the entire past year when the online affairs started and how emotionally abusive and sometimes even verbally abusive our relationship had gotten. That I didn’t even recognize him, he was a totally different person than the man I married and had been with for the first 6 years. He said it killed him inside to think he’d ever been any form of abusive with anyone since he came from a home where he, his mother and his siblings were all abused.
He said he wants to be better, that he doesn’t want to be like that. That he’d be so grateful if I give him another chance. I told him I would love to, because I do see the potential in him to get better, but I’m also scared that it’ll backfire and he’ll cheat again in the future to which he said he understood those fears. It was all so nice. There was no gaslighting or blameshifting and ever since this conversation he’s shown nothing, but remorse. We think he has BPD, he has almost all of the symptoms, on top of his childhood trauma and trauma from being SA’d in a past relationship so we’re searching by together for a therapist that can help focus in on all of this on top of his cheating. Everything and every question I bring to him about the affair he’s been remembering for later to address with his therapist. He’s also been really understanding about wanting to live apart for at least a year and “dating again”.
I feel like I’m getting my old husband back again, the one from before his trauma and depression took him over last year. He’s been so sweet and patient and kind this past week, taking things at my pace, took me on a nice date, listens to every word I say, bought me my favorite flowers. I can’t help but be nervous though and keep wondering if this is all an act or lovebombing or that all of it’s only temporary and he’ll betray me again in the future or continue to while we live apart. All contact has been cut with the APs (apparently while we were apart but idk how to believe that), he let me watch him delete the discord account he used and he offered weekly check ins with his phone even if it made him uncomfortable because he wants to fix things so bad. But what stops him from finding more ways to hide things? How do I know I’m not wasting time staying with him? Can cheaters really change?
Sorry for the long post, I’m just feeling so many things. I want to believe he can change, but I hear so much negative and that cheaters can’t change at all.
2024.05.16 15:53 Scalpeland_dumbells Rotations to Avoid at All Costs
Normally I don't write much here but now that I have some free time, I would love to start a thread of rotations to avoid as I don't want other people to fall victim to these exploitation machines.
My 2 Cents, get your elbow dirty a little bit. Plan a little in advance and go through official Hospital Rotations, way better experience and everything. You don't need those expensive Research, Match Plans (Yes Sarthi, I am talking to you). Most of the people would be willing to help out a fellow in need Specially when we were in your shoes not so long ago.
submitted by Scalpeland_dumbells to IMGreddit [link] [comments]
- Brooklyn USCE and it's housing : Money making scheme through and through.
- LaSante Health : Same as above, Didn't even have to go the whole month, some students just came for mere 5-7 days and got the LoR
- Hackensack, Dr. Atoot : Sell courses till the very end of your rotation, will ask tough Qs to make you feel like you need it. I heard he also opened up his housing, make what you want of it. Personally, when I was applying for the first time in 2022-23, During one of my Interviews they asked me if I did a teleportation with Dr. Atoot and I was like whaaat? No. Then he told me he uploaded my LoR saying it's a telemedicine LoR ☠️ Now, I told him I did InPerson Rotation, which meant either I was lying or the LoR was. Long story short didn't match there anyways.
My 2 Cents, get your elbow dirty a little bit. Plan a little in advance and go through official Hospital Rotations, way better experience and everything. You don't need those expensive Research, Match Plans (Yes Sarthi, I am talking to you). Most of the people would be willing to help out a fellow in need Specially when we were in your shoes not so long ago.
2024.05.16 15:49 haygurlhay123 “This Time, I Will Never Let You Go”: Cloud’s Mission and the Hidden Purpose of the Remake Trilogy - Literary and Musical Analysis of FFVII - Part 4
(continuation of part 3)
Since Fatal Calling is all about Cloud facing his past and his origins, Tifa’s musical theme is most appropriate for the ending cutscene. For all of these reasons, Tifa’s theme is absolutely appropriate for the conclusion of Fatal Calling. It makes a lot of sense then that once Cloud has finished revisiting the past and vanishes with the crystal to find his Promised Land, Tifa’s theme stops and Aerith’s theme begins.
There’s a lot to be said about Sephiroth in Fatal Calling. Sephiroth feeds off of despair, and deems Palamecia’s suffering inadequate: he seeks a much greater source of power than this realm. He states that Palamecia isn’t “the world that was promised to [him]”, referencing his desire to become the god of his core world of FFVII:
However, he isn’t the only one returning. Now that Cloud has revisited his past in Fatal Calling, he’s ready to reach his Promised Land. After Sephiroth’s after-credits scene, the OG FFVII title and logo turn into the FFVII Remake title and logo, indicating a shift: we are now officially in the Remakeera or world. Cloud and Sephiroth disappeared at the end of Fatal Calling, and now the game is telling us where they’ve gone. Combined with Hamaguchi’s recommendation that players complete the collaboration event before playing Remake, I think this is a solid indication that the Cloud and Sephiroth we see in this collaboration event are those we encounter in the Remake world. Once the switch to Remake occurs, Aerith’s theme returns. This communicates that she is indeed —as we’ve proven countless times already— Cloud’s Promised Land. But it also conveys her importance to the story of Remake. Scenario writer Nojima confirmed this:
That was the collaboration! Before we move on from MFF x FFVII Remake entirely though, let’s glean some more relevant information from some of the collaboration’s promotional material and special features.
~III. e) iii. Promotional Material and Special Features~
Two particular pieces of promotional material for this collaboration stick out to me as extremely relevant. The first is a promotion for a new summons batch in the Mobius FF game, created in honor of the collaboration.
MFF x FFVII Remake Summons Batch Cloud Promo
The summons batch contains three FFVII Remake-themed cards, including a Cloud card. As you can see, this promo reads “Who awaits in the Promised Land?” under Cloud’s picture.
The second is a promotion of an Aerith and summons and an Aerith Job Card (in MFF, Job Cards allow a character to embody an archetype or another character, giving them certain physical traits, clothing, weapons and abilities):
MFF x FFVII Remake Aerith Summons and Job Card Promo
I couldn’t find this picture in English, but the text relevant to us translates to:
MFF x FFVII Remake \"Flower Girl of Midgar\" Job Card
There’s even an Aerith outfit you can have Echo wear, and it appears with Wol’s Cloud outfit in the promotional picture:
MFF x FFVII Remake Echo's Aerith Outfit and Wol's Cloud Outfit
To be fair, Tifa also appears in one of these summons promos. However, unlike Aerith’s, her appearance doesn’t reference the Promised Land or her version of the gondola date. She is not presented in connection to Cloud at all. On top of that, while the Aerith and Cloud outfits are promoted together, Tifa is paired with Vincent in the promotional image:
MFF x FFVII Remake Summons Promo Tifa and Vincent
This is hardly indicative of Cloti content in the event collaboration or in Remake.
~III. e) iv. Cloud’s Promised Land~
All in all, the collaboration tells the story of Cloud searching for his Promised Land, just as post-OG Cloud has been shown doing for years and years of canon SE content. Cloud is searching for Aerith in the MFF x FFVII Remake collaboration, just like he was in FFT and DFF, and just like he was shown doing in the 30th FF Anniversary Exposition. This is nothing new. However, the collaboration informs us that this mission to be reunited with Aerith is what leads Cloud to enter the world of Remake.
Echo noted that people obtain the Promised Land they deserve rather than the one they want. What does Cloud deserve? I believe the answer is: another chance at saving Aerith.
Cloud needs to start over, from the top. He needs to go back to the very moment he and Avalanche arrived at mako reactor 1 to bomb it. He needs to return to the beginning of the OG game. He needs a redo, a fix-it, another shot at happiness; a remake.
Here lies the heart of my theory. My dear Cleriths, Sephiroth isn’t the only one who travelled back in time to undo destiny and create a reality where things go his way: Remake is also —I would even say primarily— Cloud’s chance to free Aerith from her fate, save her life and secure his shot at happiness with her. That’s why he experiences MOTFs in Remake: he’s done FFVII before and now he’s back, although with only fragments of his memories from OG, to save Aerith. That’s why his triggers all involve Aerith: he doesn’t consciously remember anything from OG, but his grief over Aerith is so strong that it rises from his subconsciousness at the slightest trigger.
In Remake, Cloud remembers some but not all elements of the OG timeline (MOTFs), and it appears he only remembers the most important things: all his MOTFs revolve around Aerith and her fate. Our theory explains why Aerith triggers Cloud’s MOTFs in Remake quite perfectly: he traveled back in time to prevent Aerith’s death from happening. Remake Cloud remembers Aerith because, well, he knows her from OG. Post-OG Cloud has returned to the past to save Aerith, resulting in Remake. This is why seeing her in Remake triggers visions and memories of things that haven’t happened yet in Remake, but have already happened to post-OG Cloud. He recognizes her face on Loveless in Remake because seeing her face again is the whole reason he entered Remake in the first place. His visions of her death when they meet once more at the church, the spike of anxiety and grief as he watches her walk away from him, the constriction in his chest when she talks about doing everything in her power to help the planet… all of it, it’s all his memories of OG being jogged by things related to her death. What he’s forgotten from the OG timeline emerges in flashes of pain, images, memory and emotion. Remember that the language the devs used to describe these instances where Cloud reacts to Aerith in this way is always about “remembering” or “recognizing”; Cloud has to have seen Aerith, known Aerith, loved Aerith, lost Aerith and felt the pain of living without Aerith before in order to recognize and remember these feelings. Think about it: this is the only thing that can explain Cloud’s extremely selective MOTFs and the fact that he has MOTFs at all.
The Remake trilogy is all about Cloud and Sephiroth stepping into the ring one more time, both ready to risk it all to get what they lost in the OG timeline. Sephiroth is hungry for destruction and godhood, while Cloud stands determined to save the love of his life. Fighting for their respective goals, the fated enemies enter a new battle in Remake, one to end the war, both needing to win this time after losing so horribly in OG. Now, it’s all or nothing. Sephiroth vying for the planet, and Cloud reaching out for Aerith.
Cloud’s back with a quest, one he can’t fail— it’s the most secret and important plot point of all. I call this the “Mission Theory”.
~IV. b) Mission Theory Logistics~
There are a few things that remain vague, so I’m going to use this section of the analysis to speculate on the logistics of my theory. We know very little about the hows of the timeline and multiverse shenanigans, so I’m going to hypothesize. However, this analysis is about the whys: so if you’re not interested in mechanical speculation on the logistics of time travel and multiverses, you can totally disregard this section and skip to section “V.”.
~IV. b) i. Cloud the Time-Traveler?~
It’s unclear whether Remake is the result of post-OG Cloud going back in time to try his hand at the OG timeline again, or the result of post-OG Cloud somehow informing OG Cloud that he must save Aerith this time around. It’s vague in the same way that we aren’t sure if Remake Aerith is post-OG Aerith or if she’s been informed by post-OG Aerith via her connection to the Lifestream as a Cetra. Though it doesn’t much matter how Cloud has memories of Aerith’s death in Remake, I personally think that Remake Cloud is a time-traveling post-OG Cloud. My explanation as to why might be a little confusing, so again, feel free to skip to section “V.”.
One must be able to communicate with the Lifestream in order to obtain knowledge of the future. This access can only be granted to the Cetra or to the souls of the deceased that compose the Lifestream itself. Since Cloud is not a Cetra, he cannot commune with the Lifestream while he is alive, meaning a deceased post-OG Cloud would not have been able to communicate his memories of the OG plot-line with a living OG Cloud. Therefore, the only way Remake Cloud could have knowledge of the future (manifested as MOTFs) would be that Remake Cloud is inhabited by his post-OG consciousness. Effectively, this is time-traveling.
Then comes the question of how Cloud was able to time-travel at all. I have what I consider a pretty solid hypothesis. The most interesting thing about the realm of Palamecia is that every FF character that’s ever appeared in the realm for a cameo died in their core world beforehand (spoilers for FFI, FFV, FFVI, FFX, FFXII, FFXIII, FFXV incoming). These characters include Tidus (FFX), Lightning (FFXIII), Garland (FFI), Sephiroth (FFVII), Gilgamesh (FFV), Vargas (FFVI), Gabranth (FFXII) and Ultros (FFXV). My interpretation of Palamecia serves at least partly as a directory for deceased souls that can’t simply fade. For instance, FFX’s Tidus actually came back to life to be with his love>! Yuna !! FFX!<. Of course, MFF x>! FFX !!FFX!< and FFX-2, just like MFF x FFVII Remake came out between FFVII OG and FFVII. And similarly to Fatal Calling, the ending cutscene of MFF x>! FFX !!Next thing you know, FFX-2 comes out and shows Tidus returning to Yuna and their core world in an optional cutscene.!< The MFF x>! FFX !! Tidus !Remake.
~IV. b) ii. Post-OG Cloud’s Amnesia~
If we consider that Remake Cloud is a time-travelling post-OG Cloud who’s returned to the start of the OG timeline, we encounter another logistical problem: why doesn’t Cloud remember everything or most things from the OG plot-line in Remake, like Sephiroth and Remake Aerith do? After all, aren’t the three of them in the same time-travelling boat? Why isn’t Cloud as lucid on the matter as the two others? Didn’t the post-OG Cloud in Fatal Calling face his past and origins? Shouldn’t that mean Cloud would remember all that stuff in Remake from the start?
In OG, the true Cloud’s memories are repressed by both his false persona and Jenova. The latter’s memetic abilities are able to block Cloud’s memories of the past from emerging and conflicting with his SOLDIER persona. For instance, in both OG and Remake, Cloud is unable to hear Aerith tell him Zack’s name in Evergreen Park: Jenova blocks it out. I think this is a similar situation: post-OG Cloud’s consciousness carries memories things that Jenova doesn’t want Cloud to know, so she pushes down on them. On top of that, after travelling through different worlds and back through the Lifestream for who knows how long, post-OG Cloud’s consciousness must be quite weak. We know how good Cloud is at repressing, so it makes total sense to me that post-OG Cloud’s consciousness would be trapped or suppressed somewhere deep in Remake Cloud’s subconsciousness. After all, it’s not like this whole time-travelling-consciousness thing is normal for a mind to experience. It’s no wonder Remake Cloud doesn’t consciously remember how things go in OG. However, post-OG Cloud’s love and grief for Aerith are so strong that memories related to her can occasionally pierce through to his Remake consciousness and Jenova’s barriers, resulting in his MOTFs. His pain and love for her are definitely permanent and strong enough:
So you see, Remake Cloud’s mind is a little more complicated than OG Cloud’s mind. Everything is still the same in Remake as in OG, but with the added complication that his future self is hidden in his subconscious mind, probably trying to get out.
There is actually pretty good evidence of this. I’m sure you’re aware that whenever Jenova is trying to hide something from Cloud or altering his memory and/or perception, the screen glitches green with an audio cue (34:15-34:29, 1:15:30-1:15:41 and 1:17:14-1:17:29). Guess what? These Jenova audiovisual cues also occur during the MOTFs (ie: MOTF 3 2:58-3:07 and MOTF 4 0:29-0:42). Whenever post-OG Cloud’s consciousness encounters anything that reminds it of losing Aerith, the strength of its pain helps it push memories of Aerith to the surface so that RemakeCloud can consciously see them. Remake Cloud then experiences sensations and/or visions, all from his future self’s memories as they rise to the surface, propelled by grief. Jenova can’t allow Remake Cloud to fully recover his post-OG memory, so in order to shut down the process, its cells jump in to repress the MOTFs: this results in the classic Jenova audiovisual cues. The only time Jenova doesn’t bother to fight against a MOTF is the sixth, as it is quite weak: no visions occur, only a tight sensation in his chest.
~IV. b) iii.~ ~Eclipse Contact~ ~and Cloud’s Memories of Reactor 1~
There is one problem I have trouble decoding. In Eclipse Contact, Cloud tells Wol and Echo that the last thing he remembers is the run-up to his arrival at mako reactor 1 (FFVII OG, disk 1, chapter 1). Recall that usually, people summoned to Palamecia have no memories of their world of origin and lives before that point at all. So then why is it that upon being summoned to Palamecia, Cloud recalls the events that took place right before the start of the OG game? This strikes me as highly relevant since this is the exact point in time where post-OG Cloud’s consciousness needs to be transported to in order for Remake to begin, but I haven’t been able to figure out a solid hypothesis on what it could mean. My best guess is that this is the devs’ way of signalling to us that the events of the MFF x FFVII Remake collaboration occur before the very beginning of post-OG Cloud’s second try at the OG timeline (Remake).
Now that I’ve shown you how I’ve come to form my Mission Theory and we’ve done some pesky housekeeping, let’s connect some dots, shall we? It’s time to really get into it and see if any of my wild speculation tracks with content from the Remake trilogy so far.
~V. Musical Evidence~
What about the music of the game? Any hints there? Let’s try to see if we can find support for the Mission Theory in the music made for the Remake trilogy thus far!
As a preface to my musical evidence analysis, I want to insist on something: the story guys tell the soundtrack guys everything. In a high-quality production such as Remake, people who make music for audiovisual media are told everything in advance. They need to know the secrets of every little scene, because their job is to depict whatever is happening through music.
Therefore, if the Mission Theory is true, then there has to be musical evidence for it.
~V. a) Preface: The Basics of the~ ~FFVII~ ~OST~
There’s a lot of evidence in the music of the Remake trilogy that we have to address, but before we get into it, I do have to give you the basics of the FFVII soundscape! For the easiest experience, I suggest you keep a tab open for every link I provide for you until the music analysis is over, because we will be hopping from one musical theme to another and then back again.
~V. a) i. The World Theme: Cloud’s Troubled Identity~
The world theme of FFVII is a perfect example of how musicians working on an OST have to know the secrets of a story as they compose for it. On top of representing the FFVII world as a whole, it doubles as Cloud’s character theme… except that isn’t exactly right. You see, this piece does indeed contain Cloud’s true theme, but Sephiroth and Jenova’s musical motifs also contaminate it. This, of course, symbolizes how Cloud experiences identity sabotage because of these two antagonists. The result is that globally, the world theme does indeed represent Cloud’s character, but it isn’t exclusively Cloud’s in the same way that Cloud’s mind isn’t exclusively his. It’s brilliant storytelling through musical motifs, and evidently requires Uematsu to know in advance that Sephiroth manipulates Cloud’s identity in the story.
For future reference, let’s isolate Cloud’s true theme from Jenova and Sephiroth’s influence.
~V. a) i. 1) Sephiroth: Dissonance and Semi-Tone Motif~
I’m sure you know Sephiroth’s infamous theme: “One-Winged Angel”. The first motif we need to know is Sephiroth’s threatening, repetitive dissonance motif, which plays all throughout the piece (plays solo at 0:00 to 0:04). The second motif is what I call the semi-tone motif. “One-Winged Angel” has a ton of minor 2nd intervals, which is what we call the relationship between two notes that are only a semi-tone apart. You might recognize the minor 2nd interval in the foreboding Jaws theme. Just like in Jaws, the minor 2nd interval or semi-tone is commonly used to indicate an impending, life-threatening danger, a monster, predator, evil, or insanity; suits Sephiroth quite nicely!
~V. a) i. 2) Jenova: Parasite Motif~
The track “J-E-N-O-V-A” contains many competing melodies and has generated many variations of those melodies —almost like clones— that all represent aspects of the alien’s character. The main Jenova motif is simply a descending, two-octaves-long, arpeggiated mb6 chord (eight notes total). I’ve played it for you here. Sometimes, this motif is altered to form variations. For instance, in “Listen to the Cries of the Planet”, a variation of Jenova’s main motif is created by changing the order of the notes and reducing the number of notes to only six (0:00-0:03), however, it remains an arpeggiated mb6 chord. Regardless of the alteration, if you hear an arpeggiated mb6 chord, it means Jenova is creeping close by or that its influence is at work.
The variation of the mb6 arpeggiated chord that concerns us alters Jenova’s main theme so it ascends from the tonic to the b6 note and descends back to the tonic, then ending on the lower dominant for a total of eight notes. I’ve played it for you here. I call this variation the “parasite motif”, because it is often heard when Cloud is being controlled by Jenova. For instance, it plays when Cloud loses himself and becomes unusually violent in Rebirth’s chapter 13 (17:25-18:34), signalling to us that Jenova is in control. It is also the main motif of the track “Who… Am I?”, which evidently symbolizes Jenova’s fuelling of Cloud’s identity crisis— though here, the parasite motif is shortened to its six first notes.
~V. a) i. 3) Cloud’s True Self~
Now that we can recognize Sephiroth and Jenova’s motifs, let’s return to the world theme to isolate Cloud’s true self. Cloud’s true theme can be heard from 0:51 to 3:48. It consists of a section A (0:51-1:54), followed by a section B (1:54-2:41), and then returns to section A (2:41-3:48).
After Cloud’s true theme concludes however, it seems he experiences a psychic interference: doubt and confusion weave through the world theme (3:48-4:09), representing an instability in his identity. I call this interruption of Cloud’s true theme the “interference section”. It symbolizes a moment of psychic interference or weakness within Cloud that Sephiroth and Jenova take advantage of to take control of Cloud.
The end of the interference section introduces Jenova’s parasite motif. It slithers in (4:09), later joined by Sephiroth’s dissonance motif (4:16): Cloud’s mind and identity are being hijacked by the two antagonists in service of their evil plans.
They torment Cloud, dominating his mind until he manages to free himself: section A of Cloud’s true theme begins playing again (6:06), closing the loop of the theme.
Based on this musical storytelling, if you already knew the character motifs going into OG, you might’ve suspected something odd was going on with Cloud’s identity, and that Jenova and Sephiroth were involved. All this to say that whatever music is playing at any given time can give us hints as to what is going on. That’s the power and significance of a good soundtrack. Trust me when I say that with Uematsu and his team, we’re in excellent hands. And remember: the story guys tell the soundtrack guys everything.
~V. a) ii. Aerith’s Theme~
Another base we have to cover before checking out the Remake soundtrack is Aerith’s theme. I’m sure everyone here is familiar with it, but I insist that you refresh your memory. It consists of a section A (0:00-0:34), a section B (0:34-1:13) and a section C (1:13-2:00), concluding with a repeat of section A.
~V. a) iii. Motifs and Timing in~ ~FFVII~ ~OSTs~
I’m going to analyze pieces in great detail, which people who haven’t studied or paid attention to soundtracks may find strange. To prevent anyone from making the mistake of thinking that I’m reading too much into things, I want to emphasize that the music that plays during the Remaketrilogy’s cutscenes is carefully timed, composed and arranged to match the events in the cutscenes, as they are provided in advance to the musicians. Composers pay lots of attention to whatever is going on onscreen so they can include the corresponding musical motifs as accompaniment at the exact right moments, always striving to get the timing perfect. I’m not exaggerating the effort and minutia involved in soundtrack composition and arrangement. Here are just a few sound staff comments from the “Material 4: Soundtrack” section of the FFVII Remake Material Ultimania to prove it:
~V. b) The~ ~Remake~ ~OST~
Now that you’re ready, it’s time to verify the Mission Theory’s validity with Remake’s music.
~V. b) i. MOTF 6 Music~
We were able to explain Remake Cloud’s MOTFs with the Mission Theory, and it just so happens that the music that plays during the scene of MOTF 6 is unique to Remake. This gives us the perfect opportunity: we should analyze the piece that plays as it occurs to evaluate the legitimacy of our theory on the Remake trilogy, using all the motifs we uncovered in section “V. a)”.
First, a refresher on the scene and on our theory’s interpretation of it. The party is gathered in Aerith and Ifalna’s old room at Shinra HQ. Here is how the scene is described by the VA script notes:
The piece that plays during this scene is called “Aerith’s Theme - The Cetra”. It is one of many variations of Aerith’s iconic theme arranged for Remake. However, Cloud’s theme is just as prominent in the piece— if not, more.
~V. b) i. 1) The Fate Motif~
Before we interpret “Aerith’s Theme - The Cetra”, I need to introduce you to one more motif that crops up in the piece. There is a windy motif that appears (from 1:45 onwards) and it is unaccounted for, despite how it’s clearly meant to represent something. I’ve become certain that this wind noise symbolizes fate, and I’ll tell you why.
In the MOTF 6 scene, just after Nanaki explains how he gained knowledge of the Whispers via contact with Aerith (7:23), they emerge and begin swirling aggressively around Aerith (7:26). Her hair and dress blow and ripple in the resulting wind. From this very moment onward “Aerith’s Theme - The Cetra” (3:00), a string section (bowed instruments in the violin family) that deliberately emphasizes the airy sound of the bow crossing the strings enters, creating a windy effect that adds to the already present wind noise (that started at 1:45). As the Whispers progressively become even more aggressive onscreen, both the wind SFX of the cutscene and the wind noise in the piece get louder and louder. Because of the timing of its appearance and crescendo in the cutscene, I’m certain the wind noise is meant to represent the restrictive flow of fate; it only makes sense, given that destiny is a current —or a wind— that cannot be broken, and Aerith is like a helpless petal in fate’s carefully planned storm. Of course, it’s also quite significant that the Whispers make a windy noise as they fly. You can hear it every time they’re onscreen, like when they first appear to Cloud in chapter 2 of Remake (17:45-18:20), or when the White Whispers hold Cloud back from chasing after Aerith during Rebirth’s Sleeping Forest scene in chapter 14 (28:43-29:45). You can also hear the wind sounds in other Whisper-related tracks, such as “Whorl of Whispers” (clearly audible at 2:50-3:05), as well as “A Death Not Ordained by Fate” (clearly audible at 2:56-3:18). Therefore, I’ll call these wind noises the “fate motif”.
~V. b) ii. 2) Interpreting “Aerith’s Theme - The Cetra”~
In part 1 of “Aerith’s Theme - The Cetra” (0:00-1:45), Aerith’s theme and Cloud’s true theme play simultaneously, their respective phrases fitting perfectly together, interweaving peacefully and softly. It sounds like the two of them are chatting, dancing bashfully yet contently and in perfect sync, glad to be exactly where they’re meant to be as their themes sing together in harmony (soft piano). Part 1 of this piece is about Cloud and Aerith becoming important to one another as they discover their soulmate bond.
Unfortunately that contentment doesn’t last. In part 2 (1:45-3:00), Cloud experiences a moment of psychic vulnerability (world theme’s interference section). Fate lurks (fate motif enters quietly). His instability forces our couple’s sweet dance to a halt, and Aerith’s theme must retreat as Cloud’s confusion takes center stage. Sephiroth torments and taunts him (semi-tone played by strings, 2:03-2:10), taking advantage of Cloud’s psychic interference to plunge him into darkness (world theme’s interference section ends, low cello enters, 2:18): Cloud temporarily becomes a darker version of himself as evil corrupts him (piano plays section A phrases 1 and 2 of Cloud’s true theme in minor, 2:18-2:53). Jenova finally reveals itself and promptly exits, releasing Cloud’s mind from its grasp (seven first notes of parasite motif played twice on piano 2:53-3:00). Cloud is free, but the damage has been done: his dance with Aerith has long been interrupted, and she is gone. Part 2 of “Aerith’s Theme - The Cetra” is about Cloud being manipulated in service of Sephiroth and Jenova’s evil plan, interrupting his interaction with Aerith.
Part 3 (3:00-3:33) kicks off the mechanisms of a tragic fate (strings section joins fate motif, 3:00). Both anxious that she’s disappeared from his side and terrified of the darkness he just discovered inside him (in part 2), Cloud fearfully calls out for Aerith (phrase 1 of Cloud’s true theme’s section A, timid and hesitant piano, 3:04-3:15). Before his psychic interference began (start of part 2), Cloud’s voice was accompanied by Aerith’s as they grew closer and closer (their character themes mingling in part 1)… but now, Aerith isn’t answering his call, and he cannot find her (Aerith’s theme doesn’t to join Cloud’s anymore).
Anxious, Cloud tries calling out for Aerith a second time (section A phrase 2 of Cloud’s true theme’s, 3:19-3:31), searching for her in the hopes that they can continue their dance, but even now, Aerith does not respond. She’s gone (Aerith’s theme remains absent). Destiny keeps Aerith away from Cloud (fate motif gently crescendos). Part 3 of “Aerith’s Theme - The Cetra” is about Cloud’s separation from Aerith, his search for her, and the fear and anxiousness he feels when he realizes he cannot find her.
And then, part 4 begins with a sweet, gentle voice, calling out from the blackened horizon: it’s Aerith (section B phrase 1 of Aerith’s theme, soft piano, 3:33-3:45). Cloud finally hears her respond to his pleas: he’s found her. Fate begins howling in protest, doubling its efforts to keep Cloud and Aerith apart (fate motif crescendos noticeably in reaction to Aerith’s theme, 3:45). You can just picture Cloud running toward Aerith, struggling against the current of destiny to try and close the distance between them. Aerith tries calling out for Cloud a second time, (section B phrase 2 of Aerith’s theme, 3:40-3:43), but the Whispers only swirl around her more ferociously, taking her away in the uncompromising current of fate (fate motif continues to crescendo). Aerith tries again (section B phrase 1 of Aerith’s theme, 3:47-3:49). It sounds like she’s saying “Cloud, I’m over here, come find me!”
Fate doesn’t take too kindly to her defying it. Cloud and Aerith are not supposed to be together; it can’t be, it won’t. She’s destined to die to save the planet, and he’s destined to remain hollow forevermore. I can picture Cloud breaking into a sprint at the sound of her voice, running countercurrent to the flow of destiny— but the winds are so loud, fate’s demands are so strong, and the Whispers are shrieking in defense of destiny now. Aerith’s voice emerges for the fourth time (first three notes of section B phrase 3 of Aerith’s theme, 3:54 to 3:56). Fate screams louder, louder (steep crescendo of fate motif, 3:59-4:02). In a desperate hail Mary, Aerith shouts out one more time, as though throwing her hand out toward Cloud’s extended fingers (section C phrase 1 of Aerith’s theme, louder and more insistent, cutting through the fate motif as it crescendos sharply, 4:00-4:06). Part 4 of “Aerith’s Theme - The Cetra” is about Cloud and Aerith desperately trying to defy fate in order to be together. And then, it all stops: fate has seemingly quieted Aerith (4:04-4:08)…
Part 5 (4:08-4:27) begins with Cloud jumping, launching himself off the ground with all his strength (Cloud’s true theme section A phrase 2, first 5 notes, melody starting on the note E5 and ascending) as Aerith plummets toward the ground in a fatal fall (Aerith’s theme section C phrase 1, melody starting on the note E6 and descending, the last note altered)— he successfully catches her in mid-air (both Cloud’s ascending melody and Aerith’s descending melody meet in the middle of the octave, first uniting on B5, and then ending on A5). I’ve recreated the melodies for you here so you can hear this reunion more clearly. If you consider that the airy strings in this piece represent fate, which I do, the fact that they follow Cloud and Aerith’s themes in part 5 signifies that they are now in control of their own destinies, and successfully making it their fate to reunite.
To be completely frank, I did not realize until right now writing this that Cloud unites with Aerith in part 5, even though his theme is right there. I’m so excited to share this part with you.
We hear Aerith once more, her voice quietly trailing off into the silence (phrase 4 of section C of Aerith’s theme) with no conclusion (phrase 5 normally follows phrase 4 to conclude Aerith’s theme, but is absent here). Part 5 of “Aerith’s Theme - The Cetra” suggests that Cloud will save Aerith and that the couple will change their fate, but also conveys an uncertain and open-ended quality.
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Since Fatal Calling is all about Cloud facing his past and his origins, Tifa’s musical theme is most appropriate for the ending cutscene. For all of these reasons, Tifa’s theme is absolutely appropriate for the conclusion of Fatal Calling. It makes a lot of sense then that once Cloud has finished revisiting the past and vanishes with the crystal to find his Promised Land, Tifa’s theme stops and Aerith’s theme begins.
There’s a lot to be said about Sephiroth in Fatal Calling. Sephiroth feeds off of despair, and deems Palamecia’s suffering inadequate: he seeks a much greater source of power than this realm. He states that Palamecia isn’t “the world that was promised to [him]”, referencing his desire to become the god of his core world of FFVII:
“Sephiroth: Melding with the planet, I will cease to exist as I am now only to be reborn as a ‘god’ to rule over every soul” (FFVII OG, disk 1, chapter 25).Sephiroth’s line “Now, let us return [Cloud]. Back to the Promised Land” reveals he wants to return to their shared core world of FFVII, like we established in our review of the Remake timelines theory (see section “I. a) vii.”). Sephiroth wants to go back to FFVII and modify the OG timeline to achieve his evil goals. This is his ideal scenario, his place of complete happiness: his desired Promised Land. Fatal Calling is setting up Sephiroth’s plans for Remake. In fact, the after-credits scene wherein Sephiroth stands in Nibelheim as it burns confirms his return to the FFVII OG timeline.
However, he isn’t the only one returning. Now that Cloud has revisited his past in Fatal Calling, he’s ready to reach his Promised Land. After Sephiroth’s after-credits scene, the OG FFVII title and logo turn into the FFVII Remake title and logo, indicating a shift: we are now officially in the Remakeera or world. Cloud and Sephiroth disappeared at the end of Fatal Calling, and now the game is telling us where they’ve gone. Combined with Hamaguchi’s recommendation that players complete the collaboration event before playing Remake, I think this is a solid indication that the Cloud and Sephiroth we see in this collaboration event are those we encounter in the Remake world. Once the switch to Remake occurs, Aerith’s theme returns. This communicates that she is indeed —as we’ve proven countless times already— Cloud’s Promised Land. But it also conveys her importance to the story of Remake. Scenario writer Nojima confirmed this:
“Aerith's the most important character in the remake so we paid special attention to her lines” (FFVII Remake Ultimania, section 08 “Secrets”, “Development Staff Interviews, Part 2: Tetsuya Nomura, Yoshinori Kitase, Kazushige Nojima”, page 744).Aerith was already important to OG, so what could’ve motivated Nojima to state her importance to Remake? Could it be that she’s even more important in the latter than she was in the former? In what way?
That was the collaboration! Before we move on from MFF x FFVII Remake entirely though, let’s glean some more relevant information from some of the collaboration’s promotional material and special features.
~III. e) iii. Promotional Material and Special Features~
Two particular pieces of promotional material for this collaboration stick out to me as extremely relevant. The first is a promotion for a new summons batch in the Mobius FF game, created in honor of the collaboration.
MFF x FFVII Remake Summons Batch Cloud Promo
The summons batch contains three FFVII Remake-themed cards, including a Cloud card. As you can see, this promo reads “Who awaits in the Promised Land?” under Cloud’s picture.
The second is a promotion of an Aerith and summons and an Aerith Job Card (in MFF, Job Cards allow a character to embody an archetype or another character, giving them certain physical traits, clothing, weapons and abilities):
MFF x FFVII Remake Aerith Summons and Job Card Promo
I couldn’t find this picture in English, but the text relevant to us translates to:
“Midgar's Flower Vendor SummonsA few things here. First, Aerith is referenced by name, and we see a picture of her in her famous praying pose. Secondly, both Cloud and Aerith’s images are attached to the notion of the Promised Land. Cloud’s card asks who awaits there, and Aerith’s evokes a guiding role, as though in response. Thirdly, both Cloud and Aerith are attached to the notion of searching: Cloud searches for the Promised Land and whomever awaits there, and Aerith searches for Cloud’s true self. Speaking of which, the promo also includes parts of Aerith’s famous gondola date quote from OG:
‘I'm searching for you. I want to meet… you.’
The witch protects the planet, imbues it with power, and leads to the Promised Land.”
“Aeris: I'm searching for you.In case you’re wondering about the lady in Aerith’s clothes on the left-hand side, that’s Meia, a character in MFF. She is the “witch” being referred to in the promotional material. She’s often called the Azure Witch. Meia is wearing Aerith’s clothes because a Meia-type Job Card called “Flower Girl of Midgar” was created in honor of the MFF x FFVII Remake collaboration:
Cloud: …?
Aeris: I want to meet you.
Cloud: But I'm right here.
Aeris: I know, I know... what I mean is... I want to meet... you” (disk 1 chapter 24).
MFF x FFVII Remake \"Flower Girl of Midgar\" Job Card
There’s even an Aerith outfit you can have Echo wear, and it appears with Wol’s Cloud outfit in the promotional picture:
MFF x FFVII Remake Echo's Aerith Outfit and Wol's Cloud Outfit
To be fair, Tifa also appears in one of these summons promos. However, unlike Aerith’s, her appearance doesn’t reference the Promised Land or her version of the gondola date. She is not presented in connection to Cloud at all. On top of that, while the Aerith and Cloud outfits are promoted together, Tifa is paired with Vincent in the promotional image:
MFF x FFVII Remake Summons Promo Tifa and Vincent
This is hardly indicative of Cloti content in the event collaboration or in Remake.
~III. e) iv. Cloud’s Promised Land~
All in all, the collaboration tells the story of Cloud searching for his Promised Land, just as post-OG Cloud has been shown doing for years and years of canon SE content. Cloud is searching for Aerith in the MFF x FFVII Remake collaboration, just like he was in FFT and DFF, and just like he was shown doing in the 30th FF Anniversary Exposition. This is nothing new. However, the collaboration informs us that this mission to be reunited with Aerith is what leads Cloud to enter the world of Remake.
Echo noted that people obtain the Promised Land they deserve rather than the one they want. What does Cloud deserve? I believe the answer is: another chance at saving Aerith.
Cloud needs to start over, from the top. He needs to go back to the very moment he and Avalanche arrived at mako reactor 1 to bomb it. He needs to return to the beginning of the OG game. He needs a redo, a fix-it, another shot at happiness; a remake.
IV. The Hidden Plot Point: Mission Theory
~a) Thesis~Here lies the heart of my theory. My dear Cleriths, Sephiroth isn’t the only one who travelled back in time to undo destiny and create a reality where things go his way: Remake is also —I would even say primarily— Cloud’s chance to free Aerith from her fate, save her life and secure his shot at happiness with her. That’s why he experiences MOTFs in Remake: he’s done FFVII before and now he’s back, although with only fragments of his memories from OG, to save Aerith. That’s why his triggers all involve Aerith: he doesn’t consciously remember anything from OG, but his grief over Aerith is so strong that it rises from his subconsciousness at the slightest trigger.
In Remake, Cloud remembers some but not all elements of the OG timeline (MOTFs), and it appears he only remembers the most important things: all his MOTFs revolve around Aerith and her fate. Our theory explains why Aerith triggers Cloud’s MOTFs in Remake quite perfectly: he traveled back in time to prevent Aerith’s death from happening. Remake Cloud remembers Aerith because, well, he knows her from OG. Post-OG Cloud has returned to the past to save Aerith, resulting in Remake. This is why seeing her in Remake triggers visions and memories of things that haven’t happened yet in Remake, but have already happened to post-OG Cloud. He recognizes her face on Loveless in Remake because seeing her face again is the whole reason he entered Remake in the first place. His visions of her death when they meet once more at the church, the spike of anxiety and grief as he watches her walk away from him, the constriction in his chest when she talks about doing everything in her power to help the planet… all of it, it’s all his memories of OG being jogged by things related to her death. What he’s forgotten from the OG timeline emerges in flashes of pain, images, memory and emotion. Remember that the language the devs used to describe these instances where Cloud reacts to Aerith in this way is always about “remembering” or “recognizing”; Cloud has to have seen Aerith, known Aerith, loved Aerith, lost Aerith and felt the pain of living without Aerith before in order to recognize and remember these feelings. Think about it: this is the only thing that can explain Cloud’s extremely selective MOTFs and the fact that he has MOTFs at all.
The Remake trilogy is all about Cloud and Sephiroth stepping into the ring one more time, both ready to risk it all to get what they lost in the OG timeline. Sephiroth is hungry for destruction and godhood, while Cloud stands determined to save the love of his life. Fighting for their respective goals, the fated enemies enter a new battle in Remake, one to end the war, both needing to win this time after losing so horribly in OG. Now, it’s all or nothing. Sephiroth vying for the planet, and Cloud reaching out for Aerith.
Cloud’s back with a quest, one he can’t fail— it’s the most secret and important plot point of all. I call this the “Mission Theory”.
~IV. b) Mission Theory Logistics~
There are a few things that remain vague, so I’m going to use this section of the analysis to speculate on the logistics of my theory. We know very little about the hows of the timeline and multiverse shenanigans, so I’m going to hypothesize. However, this analysis is about the whys: so if you’re not interested in mechanical speculation on the logistics of time travel and multiverses, you can totally disregard this section and skip to section “V.”.
~IV. b) i. Cloud the Time-Traveler?~
It’s unclear whether Remake is the result of post-OG Cloud going back in time to try his hand at the OG timeline again, or the result of post-OG Cloud somehow informing OG Cloud that he must save Aerith this time around. It’s vague in the same way that we aren’t sure if Remake Aerith is post-OG Aerith or if she’s been informed by post-OG Aerith via her connection to the Lifestream as a Cetra. Though it doesn’t much matter how Cloud has memories of Aerith’s death in Remake, I personally think that Remake Cloud is a time-traveling post-OG Cloud. My explanation as to why might be a little confusing, so again, feel free to skip to section “V.”.
One must be able to communicate with the Lifestream in order to obtain knowledge of the future. This access can only be granted to the Cetra or to the souls of the deceased that compose the Lifestream itself. Since Cloud is not a Cetra, he cannot commune with the Lifestream while he is alive, meaning a deceased post-OG Cloud would not have been able to communicate his memories of the OG plot-line with a living OG Cloud. Therefore, the only way Remake Cloud could have knowledge of the future (manifested as MOTFs) would be that Remake Cloud is inhabited by his post-OG consciousness. Effectively, this is time-traveling.
Then comes the question of how Cloud was able to time-travel at all. I have what I consider a pretty solid hypothesis. The most interesting thing about the realm of Palamecia is that every FF character that’s ever appeared in the realm for a cameo died in their core world beforehand (spoilers for FFI, FFV, FFVI, FFX, FFXII, FFXIII, FFXV incoming). These characters include Tidus (FFX), Lightning (FFXIII), Garland (FFI), Sephiroth (FFVII), Gilgamesh (FFV), Vargas (FFVI), Gabranth (FFXII) and Ultros (FFXV). My interpretation of Palamecia serves at least partly as a directory for deceased souls that can’t simply fade. For instance, FFX’s Tidus actually came back to life to be with his love>! Yuna !
~IV. b) ii. Post-OG Cloud’s Amnesia~
If we consider that Remake Cloud is a time-travelling post-OG Cloud who’s returned to the start of the OG timeline, we encounter another logistical problem: why doesn’t Cloud remember everything or most things from the OG plot-line in Remake, like Sephiroth and Remake Aerith do? After all, aren’t the three of them in the same time-travelling boat? Why isn’t Cloud as lucid on the matter as the two others? Didn’t the post-OG Cloud in Fatal Calling face his past and origins? Shouldn’t that mean Cloud would remember all that stuff in Remake from the start?
In OG, the true Cloud’s memories are repressed by both his false persona and Jenova. The latter’s memetic abilities are able to block Cloud’s memories of the past from emerging and conflicting with his SOLDIER persona. For instance, in both OG and Remake, Cloud is unable to hear Aerith tell him Zack’s name in Evergreen Park: Jenova blocks it out. I think this is a similar situation: post-OG Cloud’s consciousness carries memories things that Jenova doesn’t want Cloud to know, so she pushes down on them. On top of that, after travelling through different worlds and back through the Lifestream for who knows how long, post-OG Cloud’s consciousness must be quite weak. We know how good Cloud is at repressing, so it makes total sense to me that post-OG Cloud’s consciousness would be trapped or suppressed somewhere deep in Remake Cloud’s subconsciousness. After all, it’s not like this whole time-travelling-consciousness thing is normal for a mind to experience. It’s no wonder Remake Cloud doesn’t consciously remember how things go in OG. However, post-OG Cloud’s love and grief for Aerith are so strong that memories related to her can occasionally pierce through to his Remake consciousness and Jenova’s barriers, resulting in his MOTFs. His pain and love for her are definitely permanent and strong enough:
“A young woman descended from the Ancients who will forever be engraved in [Cloud’s] heart” (Dirge of Cerberus, Japanese manual, Aerith’s character description).
“I believe for those who formerly traveled with her as comrades and for the viewers, each carries their own feelings and love for Aerith. In this story, Cloud also carries his own undying feelings for Aerith, even to this very day… Its relation with the church scene is… Yup. I’ll leave this part to your imagination. (laughs)” (Nomura interview on Advent Children “Designer’s Note” in Famitsu PS2!magazine, October 24th issue).
So you see, Remake Cloud’s mind is a little more complicated than OG Cloud’s mind. Everything is still the same in Remake as in OG, but with the added complication that his future self is hidden in his subconscious mind, probably trying to get out.
There is actually pretty good evidence of this. I’m sure you’re aware that whenever Jenova is trying to hide something from Cloud or altering his memory and/or perception, the screen glitches green with an audio cue (34:15-34:29, 1:15:30-1:15:41 and 1:17:14-1:17:29). Guess what? These Jenova audiovisual cues also occur during the MOTFs (ie: MOTF 3 2:58-3:07 and MOTF 4 0:29-0:42). Whenever post-OG Cloud’s consciousness encounters anything that reminds it of losing Aerith, the strength of its pain helps it push memories of Aerith to the surface so that RemakeCloud can consciously see them. Remake Cloud then experiences sensations and/or visions, all from his future self’s memories as they rise to the surface, propelled by grief. Jenova can’t allow Remake Cloud to fully recover his post-OG memory, so in order to shut down the process, its cells jump in to repress the MOTFs: this results in the classic Jenova audiovisual cues. The only time Jenova doesn’t bother to fight against a MOTF is the sixth, as it is quite weak: no visions occur, only a tight sensation in his chest.
~IV. b) iii.~ ~Eclipse Contact~ ~and Cloud’s Memories of Reactor 1~
There is one problem I have trouble decoding. In Eclipse Contact, Cloud tells Wol and Echo that the last thing he remembers is the run-up to his arrival at mako reactor 1 (FFVII OG, disk 1, chapter 1). Recall that usually, people summoned to Palamecia have no memories of their world of origin and lives before that point at all. So then why is it that upon being summoned to Palamecia, Cloud recalls the events that took place right before the start of the OG game? This strikes me as highly relevant since this is the exact point in time where post-OG Cloud’s consciousness needs to be transported to in order for Remake to begin, but I haven’t been able to figure out a solid hypothesis on what it could mean. My best guess is that this is the devs’ way of signalling to us that the events of the MFF x FFVII Remake collaboration occur before the very beginning of post-OG Cloud’s second try at the OG timeline (Remake).
Now that I’ve shown you how I’ve come to form my Mission Theory and we’ve done some pesky housekeeping, let’s connect some dots, shall we? It’s time to really get into it and see if any of my wild speculation tracks with content from the Remake trilogy so far.
~V. Musical Evidence~
What about the music of the game? Any hints there? Let’s try to see if we can find support for the Mission Theory in the music made for the Remake trilogy thus far!
As a preface to my musical evidence analysis, I want to insist on something: the story guys tell the soundtrack guys everything. In a high-quality production such as Remake, people who make music for audiovisual media are told everything in advance. They need to know the secrets of every little scene, because their job is to depict whatever is happening through music.
Therefore, if the Mission Theory is true, then there has to be musical evidence for it.
~V. a) Preface: The Basics of the~ ~FFVII~ ~OST~
There’s a lot of evidence in the music of the Remake trilogy that we have to address, but before we get into it, I do have to give you the basics of the FFVII soundscape! For the easiest experience, I suggest you keep a tab open for every link I provide for you until the music analysis is over, because we will be hopping from one musical theme to another and then back again.
~V. a) i. The World Theme: Cloud’s Troubled Identity~
The world theme of FFVII is a perfect example of how musicians working on an OST have to know the secrets of a story as they compose for it. On top of representing the FFVII world as a whole, it doubles as Cloud’s character theme… except that isn’t exactly right. You see, this piece does indeed contain Cloud’s true theme, but Sephiroth and Jenova’s musical motifs also contaminate it. This, of course, symbolizes how Cloud experiences identity sabotage because of these two antagonists. The result is that globally, the world theme does indeed represent Cloud’s character, but it isn’t exclusively Cloud’s in the same way that Cloud’s mind isn’t exclusively his. It’s brilliant storytelling through musical motifs, and evidently requires Uematsu to know in advance that Sephiroth manipulates Cloud’s identity in the story.
For future reference, let’s isolate Cloud’s true theme from Jenova and Sephiroth’s influence.
~V. a) i. 1) Sephiroth: Dissonance and Semi-Tone Motif~
I’m sure you know Sephiroth’s infamous theme: “One-Winged Angel”. The first motif we need to know is Sephiroth’s threatening, repetitive dissonance motif, which plays all throughout the piece (plays solo at 0:00 to 0:04). The second motif is what I call the semi-tone motif. “One-Winged Angel” has a ton of minor 2nd intervals, which is what we call the relationship between two notes that are only a semi-tone apart. You might recognize the minor 2nd interval in the foreboding Jaws theme. Just like in Jaws, the minor 2nd interval or semi-tone is commonly used to indicate an impending, life-threatening danger, a monster, predator, evil, or insanity; suits Sephiroth quite nicely!
~V. a) i. 2) Jenova: Parasite Motif~
The track “J-E-N-O-V-A” contains many competing melodies and has generated many variations of those melodies —almost like clones— that all represent aspects of the alien’s character. The main Jenova motif is simply a descending, two-octaves-long, arpeggiated mb6 chord (eight notes total). I’ve played it for you here. Sometimes, this motif is altered to form variations. For instance, in “Listen to the Cries of the Planet”, a variation of Jenova’s main motif is created by changing the order of the notes and reducing the number of notes to only six (0:00-0:03), however, it remains an arpeggiated mb6 chord. Regardless of the alteration, if you hear an arpeggiated mb6 chord, it means Jenova is creeping close by or that its influence is at work.
The variation of the mb6 arpeggiated chord that concerns us alters Jenova’s main theme so it ascends from the tonic to the b6 note and descends back to the tonic, then ending on the lower dominant for a total of eight notes. I’ve played it for you here. I call this variation the “parasite motif”, because it is often heard when Cloud is being controlled by Jenova. For instance, it plays when Cloud loses himself and becomes unusually violent in Rebirth’s chapter 13 (17:25-18:34), signalling to us that Jenova is in control. It is also the main motif of the track “Who… Am I?”, which evidently symbolizes Jenova’s fuelling of Cloud’s identity crisis— though here, the parasite motif is shortened to its six first notes.
~V. a) i. 3) Cloud’s True Self~
Now that we can recognize Sephiroth and Jenova’s motifs, let’s return to the world theme to isolate Cloud’s true self. Cloud’s true theme can be heard from 0:51 to 3:48. It consists of a section A (0:51-1:54), followed by a section B (1:54-2:41), and then returns to section A (2:41-3:48).
After Cloud’s true theme concludes however, it seems he experiences a psychic interference: doubt and confusion weave through the world theme (3:48-4:09), representing an instability in his identity. I call this interruption of Cloud’s true theme the “interference section”. It symbolizes a moment of psychic interference or weakness within Cloud that Sephiroth and Jenova take advantage of to take control of Cloud.
The end of the interference section introduces Jenova’s parasite motif. It slithers in (4:09), later joined by Sephiroth’s dissonance motif (4:16): Cloud’s mind and identity are being hijacked by the two antagonists in service of their evil plans.
They torment Cloud, dominating his mind until he manages to free himself: section A of Cloud’s true theme begins playing again (6:06), closing the loop of the theme.
Based on this musical storytelling, if you already knew the character motifs going into OG, you might’ve suspected something odd was going on with Cloud’s identity, and that Jenova and Sephiroth were involved. All this to say that whatever music is playing at any given time can give us hints as to what is going on. That’s the power and significance of a good soundtrack. Trust me when I say that with Uematsu and his team, we’re in excellent hands. And remember: the story guys tell the soundtrack guys everything.
~V. a) ii. Aerith’s Theme~
Another base we have to cover before checking out the Remake soundtrack is Aerith’s theme. I’m sure everyone here is familiar with it, but I insist that you refresh your memory. It consists of a section A (0:00-0:34), a section B (0:34-1:13) and a section C (1:13-2:00), concluding with a repeat of section A.
~V. a) iii. Motifs and Timing in~ ~FFVII~ ~OSTs~
I’m going to analyze pieces in great detail, which people who haven’t studied or paid attention to soundtracks may find strange. To prevent anyone from making the mistake of thinking that I’m reading too much into things, I want to emphasize that the music that plays during the Remaketrilogy’s cutscenes is carefully timed, composed and arranged to match the events in the cutscenes, as they are provided in advance to the musicians. Composers pay lots of attention to whatever is going on onscreen so they can include the corresponding musical motifs as accompaniment at the exact right moments, always striving to get the timing perfect. I’m not exaggerating the effort and minutia involved in soundtrack composition and arrangement. Here are just a few sound staff comments from the “Material 4: Soundtrack” section of the FFVII Remake Material Ultimania to prove it:
“[To] make sure players really feel the weight of the moment, we worked hard on getting the tempo and the entry timing of each instrument exactly right. In particular, that big ‘boom’ that sounds almost like a meteor crashing down was fine-tuned to match the timing of the logo's appearance. I remember this was a real sticking point for us, because if the boom's timing was even slightly off, the effect would be completely different. We […] had to sequence [each and every sound] to play at exactly the right moment” (Shotaro Shima on track “Midgar, City of Mako”, page 229).&
“I was originally told to keep this piece to under two minutes, but it ended up being over six minutes long, in order to match the flow of the cutscene. I arranged the track while watching the latest CG visuals that had been rendered for the scene” (Naoyuki Honzawa on track “Smash ‘Em, Rip ‘Em”, page 309).&
“This is the track that plays during the tour of Shinra’s different divisions. The movie shown in the Visual Entertainment Hall describes the history of the Ancients (0:25 onward in the soundtrack version), and I wanted to create a musical link to them as well, so I made use of the chord progression from ‘Aerith’s Theme’ [D(I)-Am(Vm)-D(I).] [This simple sequence of moving from major to minor and back again creates a really mysterious air. Then, during the section where the movie recounts the history of the construction of the Shinra Building (1:47 onward in the soundtrack version), I quoted a section of the Shinra theme” (Yasunori Nishiki on track “Stewards of the Planet”, page 313).
~V. b) The~ ~Remake~ ~OST~
Now that you’re ready, it’s time to verify the Mission Theory’s validity with Remake’s music.
~V. b) i. MOTF 6 Music~
We were able to explain Remake Cloud’s MOTFs with the Mission Theory, and it just so happens that the music that plays during the scene of MOTF 6 is unique to Remake. This gives us the perfect opportunity: we should analyze the piece that plays as it occurs to evaluate the legitimacy of our theory on the Remake trilogy, using all the motifs we uncovered in section “V. a)”.
First, a refresher on the scene and on our theory’s interpretation of it. The party is gathered in Aerith and Ifalna’s old room at Shinra HQ. Here is how the scene is described by the VA script notes:
“The Whispers once again close in [on Aerith], but Aerith refuses to stop speaking this time.Indeed, right after Aerith says she wants to help the planet any way she can, Cloud looks down at his chest with a frown and a quiet grunt (7:46-7:54). According to the Mission Theory, this tightness in Cloud’s chest can be explained as an emergence of post-OG Cloud’s grief, triggered by the slightest allusion to Aerith’s sacrifice.
Aerith: Listen to me. […] Shinra isn’t the enemy. They were the ones who set things in motion, but our true foe is someone else.
At that moment, the spectacle of Meteor they saw in the Visual Entertainment Hall comes into Cloud and the others’ heads.
Aerith: Somehow, some way, I want to help— all of you… the planet…
For some reason, Cloud feels his chest constrict tightly” (FFVII Remake Material Ultimania Plus, VA script notes, “Aerith Speaks”).
The piece that plays during this scene is called “Aerith’s Theme - The Cetra”. It is one of many variations of Aerith’s iconic theme arranged for Remake. However, Cloud’s theme is just as prominent in the piece— if not, more.
~V. b) i. 1) The Fate Motif~
Before we interpret “Aerith’s Theme - The Cetra”, I need to introduce you to one more motif that crops up in the piece. There is a windy motif that appears (from 1:45 onwards) and it is unaccounted for, despite how it’s clearly meant to represent something. I’ve become certain that this wind noise symbolizes fate, and I’ll tell you why.
In the MOTF 6 scene, just after Nanaki explains how he gained knowledge of the Whispers via contact with Aerith (7:23), they emerge and begin swirling aggressively around Aerith (7:26). Her hair and dress blow and ripple in the resulting wind. From this very moment onward “Aerith’s Theme - The Cetra” (3:00), a string section (bowed instruments in the violin family) that deliberately emphasizes the airy sound of the bow crossing the strings enters, creating a windy effect that adds to the already present wind noise (that started at 1:45). As the Whispers progressively become even more aggressive onscreen, both the wind SFX of the cutscene and the wind noise in the piece get louder and louder. Because of the timing of its appearance and crescendo in the cutscene, I’m certain the wind noise is meant to represent the restrictive flow of fate; it only makes sense, given that destiny is a current —or a wind— that cannot be broken, and Aerith is like a helpless petal in fate’s carefully planned storm. Of course, it’s also quite significant that the Whispers make a windy noise as they fly. You can hear it every time they’re onscreen, like when they first appear to Cloud in chapter 2 of Remake (17:45-18:20), or when the White Whispers hold Cloud back from chasing after Aerith during Rebirth’s Sleeping Forest scene in chapter 14 (28:43-29:45). You can also hear the wind sounds in other Whisper-related tracks, such as “Whorl of Whispers” (clearly audible at 2:50-3:05), as well as “A Death Not Ordained by Fate” (clearly audible at 2:56-3:18). Therefore, I’ll call these wind noises the “fate motif”.
~V. b) ii. 2) Interpreting “Aerith’s Theme - The Cetra”~
In part 1 of “Aerith’s Theme - The Cetra” (0:00-1:45), Aerith’s theme and Cloud’s true theme play simultaneously, their respective phrases fitting perfectly together, interweaving peacefully and softly. It sounds like the two of them are chatting, dancing bashfully yet contently and in perfect sync, glad to be exactly where they’re meant to be as their themes sing together in harmony (soft piano). Part 1 of this piece is about Cloud and Aerith becoming important to one another as they discover their soulmate bond.
Unfortunately that contentment doesn’t last. In part 2 (1:45-3:00), Cloud experiences a moment of psychic vulnerability (world theme’s interference section). Fate lurks (fate motif enters quietly). His instability forces our couple’s sweet dance to a halt, and Aerith’s theme must retreat as Cloud’s confusion takes center stage. Sephiroth torments and taunts him (semi-tone played by strings, 2:03-2:10), taking advantage of Cloud’s psychic interference to plunge him into darkness (world theme’s interference section ends, low cello enters, 2:18): Cloud temporarily becomes a darker version of himself as evil corrupts him (piano plays section A phrases 1 and 2 of Cloud’s true theme in minor, 2:18-2:53). Jenova finally reveals itself and promptly exits, releasing Cloud’s mind from its grasp (seven first notes of parasite motif played twice on piano 2:53-3:00). Cloud is free, but the damage has been done: his dance with Aerith has long been interrupted, and she is gone. Part 2 of “Aerith’s Theme - The Cetra” is about Cloud being manipulated in service of Sephiroth and Jenova’s evil plan, interrupting his interaction with Aerith.
Part 3 (3:00-3:33) kicks off the mechanisms of a tragic fate (strings section joins fate motif, 3:00). Both anxious that she’s disappeared from his side and terrified of the darkness he just discovered inside him (in part 2), Cloud fearfully calls out for Aerith (phrase 1 of Cloud’s true theme’s section A, timid and hesitant piano, 3:04-3:15). Before his psychic interference began (start of part 2), Cloud’s voice was accompanied by Aerith’s as they grew closer and closer (their character themes mingling in part 1)… but now, Aerith isn’t answering his call, and he cannot find her (Aerith’s theme doesn’t to join Cloud’s anymore).
Anxious, Cloud tries calling out for Aerith a second time (section A phrase 2 of Cloud’s true theme’s, 3:19-3:31), searching for her in the hopes that they can continue their dance, but even now, Aerith does not respond. She’s gone (Aerith’s theme remains absent). Destiny keeps Aerith away from Cloud (fate motif gently crescendos). Part 3 of “Aerith’s Theme - The Cetra” is about Cloud’s separation from Aerith, his search for her, and the fear and anxiousness he feels when he realizes he cannot find her.
And then, part 4 begins with a sweet, gentle voice, calling out from the blackened horizon: it’s Aerith (section B phrase 1 of Aerith’s theme, soft piano, 3:33-3:45). Cloud finally hears her respond to his pleas: he’s found her. Fate begins howling in protest, doubling its efforts to keep Cloud and Aerith apart (fate motif crescendos noticeably in reaction to Aerith’s theme, 3:45). You can just picture Cloud running toward Aerith, struggling against the current of destiny to try and close the distance between them. Aerith tries calling out for Cloud a second time, (section B phrase 2 of Aerith’s theme, 3:40-3:43), but the Whispers only swirl around her more ferociously, taking her away in the uncompromising current of fate (fate motif continues to crescendo). Aerith tries again (section B phrase 1 of Aerith’s theme, 3:47-3:49). It sounds like she’s saying “Cloud, I’m over here, come find me!”
Fate doesn’t take too kindly to her defying it. Cloud and Aerith are not supposed to be together; it can’t be, it won’t. She’s destined to die to save the planet, and he’s destined to remain hollow forevermore. I can picture Cloud breaking into a sprint at the sound of her voice, running countercurrent to the flow of destiny— but the winds are so loud, fate’s demands are so strong, and the Whispers are shrieking in defense of destiny now. Aerith’s voice emerges for the fourth time (first three notes of section B phrase 3 of Aerith’s theme, 3:54 to 3:56). Fate screams louder, louder (steep crescendo of fate motif, 3:59-4:02). In a desperate hail Mary, Aerith shouts out one more time, as though throwing her hand out toward Cloud’s extended fingers (section C phrase 1 of Aerith’s theme, louder and more insistent, cutting through the fate motif as it crescendos sharply, 4:00-4:06). Part 4 of “Aerith’s Theme - The Cetra” is about Cloud and Aerith desperately trying to defy fate in order to be together. And then, it all stops: fate has seemingly quieted Aerith (4:04-4:08)…
Part 5 (4:08-4:27) begins with Cloud jumping, launching himself off the ground with all his strength (Cloud’s true theme section A phrase 2, first 5 notes, melody starting on the note E5 and ascending) as Aerith plummets toward the ground in a fatal fall (Aerith’s theme section C phrase 1, melody starting on the note E6 and descending, the last note altered)— he successfully catches her in mid-air (both Cloud’s ascending melody and Aerith’s descending melody meet in the middle of the octave, first uniting on B5, and then ending on A5). I’ve recreated the melodies for you here so you can hear this reunion more clearly. If you consider that the airy strings in this piece represent fate, which I do, the fact that they follow Cloud and Aerith’s themes in part 5 signifies that they are now in control of their own destinies, and successfully making it their fate to reunite.
To be completely frank, I did not realize until right now writing this that Cloud unites with Aerith in part 5, even though his theme is right there. I’m so excited to share this part with you.
We hear Aerith once more, her voice quietly trailing off into the silence (phrase 4 of section C of Aerith’s theme) with no conclusion (phrase 5 normally follows phrase 4 to conclude Aerith’s theme, but is absent here). Part 5 of “Aerith’s Theme - The Cetra” suggests that Cloud will save Aerith and that the couple will change their fate, but also conveys an uncertain and open-ended quality.
2024.05.16 15:45 jinchiqwq Does the international service have a customer service feedback option? Acacia's mail is actually the developer telling everyone about the recent situation in the character's voice.
I am a Chinese server player, and I see that players here have many problems waiting to be solved. I have never played on an international server, so I don’t know if there is a customer service feedback button on the international server. The developer has specially set up customer service feedback personnel to collect player feedback, sort out the truly useful content, and then tell the developer directly. After logging in using the Chinese server button, go to the homepage (lobby) - Settings - Other Settings - Customer Service Feedback. They listen carefully to player suggestions and provide feedback to players quickly.
The main part of Acacia's email conveyed several official views.
If the international server really doesn't have a feedback button, I can collect some suggestions and then join forces with other players in the Chinese community to give feedback in Chinese.
submitted by jinchiqwq to SnowbreakOfficial [link] [comments]
The main part of Acacia's email conveyed several official views.
- Apologize and admit that there are many gameplay problems in this event.
- Thank you everyone for giving us practical feedback despite such immature gameplay. The developers of the program group did find that their game had many shortcomings.
- Copywriters who like to add personal items to game content are fired.
- The project team is short of manpower.
If the international server really doesn't have a feedback button, I can collect some suggestions and then join forces with other players in the Chinese community to give feedback in Chinese.
2024.05.16 15:44 SonicFinn311 I think my therapist lashed out at me?
Hi, I've (M21) been seeing my therapist (F29) for the past year and I've made quite a few posts on the sub detailing this process and some of the problems I've faced.
(Context -> https://www.reddit.com/askatherapist/comments/1c5fw77/confronted_my_therapist_today_am_i_overthinking/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button )
Last Friday was our very last session, I decided to ask her about her behaviour one last time and to see what... it was all about. I've had a few days to think on it and calmed down for some time.
I told her that after these things happened, I felt very anxious and uncomfortable. So I decided to ask other therapists and people about what they thought, and about 98% of the people told me that they don't think it's normal either. After I told her this, she asked me if I was telling her these things because I'm accusing her of being unethical, even though I didn't say that.
After that, she provided a few answers to some of my questions, a couple of examples being:
There were a few other examples that she didn't really answer or explain. A couple of them being:
I told her that this relationship has been very toxic and harmful towards me, due to the amount of anxiety and worry that it has caused. She didn't seem very happy about that, understandably. I felt that our lines and boundaries have blurred and the harm has increased drastically. I told her that I wanted to stop coming here and stop over-thinking about this relationship, and I wanted to stop thinking about her.
She knew very well that I had transference for her but still does these... odd things, I asked her did she never expect that I would feel uncomfortable about these things? She said she didn't expect that I would misunderstand.
Later on in the session, she wanted to do a card activity... thingy. Picking out a card out of a stack of cards with pictures on them and discussing it. I wanted to keep talking about what we were talking about. So I quickly picked out a card and kept talking. She interrupted me and went:
"Wow, so you really don't see yourself as a client anymore, huh? You're just going off on your own and not cooperating." in a sarcastic tone.
And a few minutes later, when I was going to give her back the card because I thought we were finished with them, she said:
"Sit your client butt down."
I felt hurt and asked her why she was saying these things, she said she was just trying to keep our stuff on track for the last 10 minutes. After I left our last session, I cried outside the building. I felt hurt and betrayed. She came off as angry and I wondered if it was my fault.
submitted by SonicFinn311 to askatherapist [link] [comments]
(Context -> https://www.reddit.com/askatherapist/comments/1c5fw77/confronted_my_therapist_today_am_i_overthinking/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button )
Last Friday was our very last session, I decided to ask her about her behaviour one last time and to see what... it was all about. I've had a few days to think on it and calmed down for some time.
I told her that after these things happened, I felt very anxious and uncomfortable. So I decided to ask other therapists and people about what they thought, and about 98% of the people told me that they don't think it's normal either. After I told her this, she asked me if I was telling her these things because I'm accusing her of being unethical, even though I didn't say that.
After that, she provided a few answers to some of my questions, a couple of examples being:
- She told me that she's wanted to have private contact with me, when I asked for her personal e-mail, because I wanted to keep some form of contact after sessions end.
- Her initiating physical contact with me. (Patting me on the shoulder.) Even though I had never sought physical contact from her, nor have I ever suggested/mentioned the idea. She also asked me a strange question afterwards. "Have you been waiting a long time for me to pat you?"
There were a few other examples that she didn't really answer or explain. A couple of them being:
- Her telling me that our relationship is "very special, atypical and very intimate, intimate to the point that it would resemble other relationships outside of therapy."
- A couple of months back, I had told her that I felt... okay. Like, my condition has been the best that it's ever been and I believe that I can stop seeing her. Her response was... odd. She wasn't happy or encouraging for me. She let out an audible exhale, had a pause and said reluctantly "I... can respect your decision."
I told her that this relationship has been very toxic and harmful towards me, due to the amount of anxiety and worry that it has caused. She didn't seem very happy about that, understandably. I felt that our lines and boundaries have blurred and the harm has increased drastically. I told her that I wanted to stop coming here and stop over-thinking about this relationship, and I wanted to stop thinking about her.
She knew very well that I had transference for her but still does these... odd things, I asked her did she never expect that I would feel uncomfortable about these things? She said she didn't expect that I would misunderstand.
Later on in the session, she wanted to do a card activity... thingy. Picking out a card out of a stack of cards with pictures on them and discussing it. I wanted to keep talking about what we were talking about. So I quickly picked out a card and kept talking. She interrupted me and went:
"Wow, so you really don't see yourself as a client anymore, huh? You're just going off on your own and not cooperating." in a sarcastic tone.
And a few minutes later, when I was going to give her back the card because I thought we were finished with them, she said:
"Sit your client butt down."
I felt hurt and asked her why she was saying these things, she said she was just trying to keep our stuff on track for the last 10 minutes. After I left our last session, I cried outside the building. I felt hurt and betrayed. She came off as angry and I wondered if it was my fault.
2024.05.16 15:43 HatemeifUneed How it began
The tag isn't correct but at least it is close to a story.
So, here i am.
My story with Tinnitus.
When i was in my late 20s, i went to a new years party and all exited because free alcohol, people and fun.
Though it went somewhat downhill as i drank too much and kind of everything. So i was really drunk when we went outside and watched others to the fireworks.
Big booms here and there and sometime after i went to bed.
Next day, i think i was sleeping really long. Did i skipped a day? Maybe. I don't remember but what i remember was that i woke up with sound in my ear.
It was scary. It wouldn't stop.Since it was far away from any doctor, i waited until i could drive home.
This is when i realized that i wouldn't go away.And it is the start when i went from doctor to doctor and i was told, there isn't anything that could be done.Again that was over 35 years ago.
I got some pills that were of herbal nature. Didn't work.Sleeping was a challenge. One ear made a sound like water rushing through a pipe, the other was more faint but both with high frequency.I did the next best thing. I drank wine. It helped to find sleep but i realized i couldn't drink myself to sleep every night but at the same time it was part of my pattern.
The first two years where the roughest i had until i made peace with it.Having an illness no one can see, is hard. Not everyone believes you but i managed to live on. I learned that others had it much worst.
At one point i seen my file at the doctors office with the word suicidal danger or something similar.
I realized that others may taken their lives because of that condition. How blessed i was if there is any form of blessing.I read a lot at that time and found out that there are a lot of famous people that got struck by the same illness.
It made me realize that it isn't the end but that you can live your life somehow and function in the world.When i was at places that were really silent at night, i was frightened because all of the sudden it was something i couldn't process anymore. Silence but my beeping that never turned off.
So i had a radio play at night. Or something else that makes some noise.
30 or so years later, i am still here but the hope that there would be a cure has fated.
There isn't, maybe never will be.
So i had to always try to go on somehow.There were some instances that i should mention.One was, when i showered to hot. No pun.
For some reason, after that, i was hearing my pulse very intensely. I went to the hospital but they couldn't find anything. It went eventually away but since then i don't shower too hot anymore.
The other was, when i went to a doctor that specializes on ears and was told i need an operation of my ear channel. I didn't do it because i didn't want to lose my hearing and i didn't understand why that was needed.
Time passed quick. The worst for me personally is, that i got more of a loner. The joy of life went always because of always hearing this shitty sound.
I married wrong, looking at a divorce at the moment and feel my life is kind of over. Ok, very dramatic but i feel my life is not as i was hoping for.
Through all that time i kept smoking and i know, not healthy but it helped me to cope.I am not an alcoholic but like to drink a glass.
It made me value time and concentrate on things that are to me important. I still love music and i pop in the head-buds. Though more moderately.
Today, i have always some sound when i go to sleep. But there are time i can also sleep without a sound.
I think looking back insomnia was one issue because finding sleep was not easy. I just hope it won't get worst.
One thing i have to cope sometimes is stress which makes it louder and the fact that i can't do some things like concerts. Though i was told by a person to consider singers ears when going out. I haven't bought it yet but will give it a try.
Well, thats my story. Maybe you see yourself in it or just like to hear how it was for someone else.I hope your journey will be better.
I like to read your story.
One more thing i forgot to mention.
My hearing is worst now. In my left ear, i don't hear high frequencies anymore.
So i am going to be losing my hearing eventually perhaps.
I had a problem once with the fire alarm in my flat. It went always off. So once i tried to reset it but since i didn't had ear protection it damaged my ears. It felt like a broken speaker if that makes sense.
Nowadays i have one of the construction headsets just to protect what is left of my ears.
submitted by HatemeifUneed to tinnitus [link] [comments]
So, here i am.
My story with Tinnitus.
When i was in my late 20s, i went to a new years party and all exited because free alcohol, people and fun.
Though it went somewhat downhill as i drank too much and kind of everything. So i was really drunk when we went outside and watched others to the fireworks.
Big booms here and there and sometime after i went to bed.
Next day, i think i was sleeping really long. Did i skipped a day? Maybe. I don't remember but what i remember was that i woke up with sound in my ear.
It was scary. It wouldn't stop.Since it was far away from any doctor, i waited until i could drive home.
This is when i realized that i wouldn't go away.And it is the start when i went from doctor to doctor and i was told, there isn't anything that could be done.Again that was over 35 years ago.
I got some pills that were of herbal nature. Didn't work.Sleeping was a challenge. One ear made a sound like water rushing through a pipe, the other was more faint but both with high frequency.I did the next best thing. I drank wine. It helped to find sleep but i realized i couldn't drink myself to sleep every night but at the same time it was part of my pattern.
The first two years where the roughest i had until i made peace with it.Having an illness no one can see, is hard. Not everyone believes you but i managed to live on. I learned that others had it much worst.
At one point i seen my file at the doctors office with the word suicidal danger or something similar.
I realized that others may taken their lives because of that condition. How blessed i was if there is any form of blessing.I read a lot at that time and found out that there are a lot of famous people that got struck by the same illness.
It made me realize that it isn't the end but that you can live your life somehow and function in the world.When i was at places that were really silent at night, i was frightened because all of the sudden it was something i couldn't process anymore. Silence but my beeping that never turned off.
So i had a radio play at night. Or something else that makes some noise.
30 or so years later, i am still here but the hope that there would be a cure has fated.
There isn't, maybe never will be.
So i had to always try to go on somehow.There were some instances that i should mention.One was, when i showered to hot. No pun.
For some reason, after that, i was hearing my pulse very intensely. I went to the hospital but they couldn't find anything. It went eventually away but since then i don't shower too hot anymore.
The other was, when i went to a doctor that specializes on ears and was told i need an operation of my ear channel. I didn't do it because i didn't want to lose my hearing and i didn't understand why that was needed.
Time passed quick. The worst for me personally is, that i got more of a loner. The joy of life went always because of always hearing this shitty sound.
I married wrong, looking at a divorce at the moment and feel my life is kind of over. Ok, very dramatic but i feel my life is not as i was hoping for.
Through all that time i kept smoking and i know, not healthy but it helped me to cope.I am not an alcoholic but like to drink a glass.
It made me value time and concentrate on things that are to me important. I still love music and i pop in the head-buds. Though more moderately.
Today, i have always some sound when i go to sleep. But there are time i can also sleep without a sound.
I think looking back insomnia was one issue because finding sleep was not easy. I just hope it won't get worst.
One thing i have to cope sometimes is stress which makes it louder and the fact that i can't do some things like concerts. Though i was told by a person to consider singers ears when going out. I haven't bought it yet but will give it a try.
Well, thats my story. Maybe you see yourself in it or just like to hear how it was for someone else.I hope your journey will be better.
I like to read your story.
One more thing i forgot to mention.
My hearing is worst now. In my left ear, i don't hear high frequencies anymore.
So i am going to be losing my hearing eventually perhaps.
I had a problem once with the fire alarm in my flat. It went always off. So once i tried to reset it but since i didn't had ear protection it damaged my ears. It felt like a broken speaker if that makes sense.
Nowadays i have one of the construction headsets just to protect what is left of my ears.
2024.05.16 15:43 Leviathan618 I can't tell if I'm asexual? TL;DR at the bottom
This has been on my mind for the past few years and this is as condensed as I could make it and I am still leaving out a lot of information, I'm very autistic so bear with me..
I'm 20 years old and have been in a relationship for over 3 and a half years, but have had odd relations to sexuality since I can remember. I can't manage to fully speak up about it in therapy and theres only so much my high libido/hyprsexual partner can help me with, when it comes to figuring out my own, situation. So any input is very welcome and needed.
(FYI I am transgender born female, same as my partner. I identify a little more ambiguously but for all intents and purposes I'm a guy to the general public and have transitioned with hormones. But my boyfriend is, just a guy)
I read about asexuality a lot, and discuss it a fair amount with my boyfriend. He is super understanding about it and has genuine curiosity about the subject which is comforting and all well. But for awhile, it has definetly put a strain on our sex life and romantic relationship given that, I can't tell if I'm ace or not. My partner has what I consider a super high libido (and sexual trauma like me but in the complete opposite direction lol!..) but maybe it's just normal and I think it's high compared to mine. MY libido is elusive to say the least.
Reading about asexuality I've learned that ace people can have sex, which is comforting to know since I do indeed have sex with my partner. I've only recently gotten out of the phase of thinking there is something wrong with me, and trying to fix my low libido because it's "broken". That doesn't sit right with me though. I could be okay just thinking of myself as someone who just doesn't want sex AS much as your average person. But that doesn't fully encapsulate how I feel either. Whenever I describe sex or describe my feelings about it, my boyfriend doesn't understand at all. And vice versa, whenever he talks about his strong desire to have sex with me, I can honestly get uncomfortable, and sometimes I even laugh a little because I just genuinely don't get it or I think he is joking somehow.
For one, I don't really ever initiate sex because I don't think about it much. I've never felt like I needed to have sex so badly. If we have a chance to have sex but it doesn't end up working out, I don't get sad about it. At least not in the same way he does, or the way I see it portrayed in other people. I'm pretty much incapable of going out of my way, to have sex. One time I said I feel like I could never have sex again and my life wouldn't be different. It made him kind of upset at first and I felt bad, but he eventually understood what I meant. The emotional side of sex is important to me, and enjoyable. It's a work out too, and I love being physically active, it makes me happy. I also view sex as a fun activity and experience, and when we laugh during sex or it feels like we're just hanging out, that feels special to me and I see how it benefits our realtionship, It's not like I need that to stop or something...
But... Every time people talk about desire, I genuinely have no idea what that truely means. This real physical urge, and need, for sex. To want it so badly. I barely believe that it's real. One thing that makes me believe I could be ace is how I experience arousal or sexual stuff just on a personal level. Honesty time. I realized recently that whenever I fantasize about sex, through out my whole life, I never think about genitals, or the part that seperates sex from simply kissing or being affectionate/intimate/sensual. And it's hard to connect the situation to me, and MY own body. If I ever do, I start to feel gross in a way, and I can't think about it for long. Most of the time when I'm "horny" or whatever, once it actually turns into sex. It isn't, what I was looking for. Essentially, sex doesn't turn me on. It makes me wonder if I understand what being turned on really is.
It's almost a joke between my boyfriend and I that it is a real complicated puzzle to "turn me on", and it absolutely is. The circumstances for me to be enthusiastic about sex are slim and peculiar, nearly impossible. It's confusing though because we have had some real intense, good times. Typically though... I do not partake in orgasm during sex, and if I do, I do it myself. I get enjoyment out of serving my partner. It used to make me really sad in the beginning of our relationship, I felt left out, or like he didn't enjoy doing things for me, or that it was too hard to make me finish since I take longer. I've come a long way with it though. For more clarification and even more complicated-ness. I do have sexual trauma from my youth where I was forced to do certain things to someone else. It has been really hard to navigate, and asexuality aside, it is it's own monolith to conquer. This whole aspect of being queer and experiencing queer sexual assault, I wonder how much of it just seems like it could be asexuality. My avoidance of being touched or feeling gross about sex, there is a part of it that is definitely because of my trauma, and also being raised in a VERY sexist and "women are sex objects !!" household. But thats a whole other topic I won't get into here. Anyway.
I know that asexuality is a spectrum, and it seems like ace people can experience some forms of sensualness or even enjoy masturbating. Which I kind of do? I think? It honestly isn't super exciting and usually is very short and, not a deep experience or something I enjoy thoroughly. Often it can make me feel even worse! I have two opposing sides, where when it comes to sex, I can be repulsed sometimes. Or just strongly not want to. Some times my boyfriend will tell me how much he wants me in a sexual way and he'll ask me what I want, and, trying to describe how I feel leads to crying a fair amount of the time, because I just don't know what to say. There are a lot of parts of sex that I find gross or just. Why would you want it. The sensory part is a whole other story too. On the other hand, I have other very intense and strong feelings sometimes. But it doesn't feel like desire, it doesn't even feel like sex sometimes. When I think I'm fantasizing about sex, I think about a situation for a looong time, and every detail that would lead UP to sex, but, once it gets to the sex, I don't, think about that part. It has more to do with, the setting. The situation, the colors involved, smells. And not sexy smells or sexy colors, not even sexy situations! I usually just think about being outside, or in a room that has furniture that I like, the colors in the sky, and being held really tight and prolonged eye contact. That's what turns me on, not the sex. Thinking about, things like this in my head feels good, but it isn't quite arousal. It's rare I'll put in effort to make it reality. Even if the situation does come along, I don't feel like I need to escalate it to sex, in order to, get off I guess? Or enjoy it? I enjoy everything that leads up to sex, vastly more.
The most ravenous I ever got over my boyfriend was the one time he drank coffee and I could taste it on his lips. I am obsessed with coffee and, he can't drink it cus it maks him tired, so it was a novel experience. But god it sent me into a frenzy, but once it had to turn into more than kissing or clawing at eachother, it's like how turned on I was didn't count. I didn't want it to go further. I could've just done that for awhile and then stopped and I'd be good. The fact that I felt the way I did actually sent me into a breakdown of sorts and he had to pull me out of it. I didn't understand how I felt and I really didn't want to have sex even though we had great chemistry in that moment. Even though I really thought I wanted to and it felt like being turned on, it just didn't add up. ??? It's like the more "turned on" I am, the less actual sex seems appealing.
During sex, and part of why I am only a giver, is because it's really hard for me to even be turned on by touch. I've never had an orgasm so good where I thought oh I MUST do that again. ?!!?! Even if my body physically reacts, which it's hard for that to happen, it can make me feel gross. I have rarely had sex where I feel like I am just enjoying how my body feels. Some times I can get aroused physically and that's enough but I always have to think about something else. It is a lot of work, and it can lead to me becoming extremly upset and uncomfortable. My body has nothing to do with it. Doing things for my partner is a different story, it's for him and it's more than sex to me. It is fun and takes strength and brain power. It's awesome. And I don't necessarily have to be horny or aroused myself to be present emotionally. I can still have strong feelings and want to do certain stuff.
When it comes to my boyfriend, I am attracted to him, for sure. And my relationship to him is so vulnerable and intimate that I feel comfortable to partake in sex and stuff. But last night he asked me if I'm sexually attracted to him, and I felt so stupid and guilty that I didn't know how to answer. I was just blank and silent. I think he is hot, handsome, we have sex, and I enjoy making him feel good in that way, why couldn't I answer? It isn't a yes or no question to me. It seemed like it should be a yes or no question. Am I ace?
TL;DR: sex doesn't turn me on and I rarely want to have sex and I don't like being touched during sex, but I have intense feelings but they just don't feel quite sexual and I dont have a need to act on them and even if the specific situation presents itself i usually dont want to do it anymore, but having sex for my boyfriend under very specific circumstances can be cool and good, I just dont want any for myself and i cant attach myself to the situation fully, but being present emotionally with my parter, again, cool. its just really hard to do that, while having sex often. is this a form of asexuality?
submitted by Leviathan618 to Asexual [link] [comments]
I'm 20 years old and have been in a relationship for over 3 and a half years, but have had odd relations to sexuality since I can remember. I can't manage to fully speak up about it in therapy and theres only so much my high libido/hyprsexual partner can help me with, when it comes to figuring out my own, situation. So any input is very welcome and needed.
(FYI I am transgender born female, same as my partner. I identify a little more ambiguously but for all intents and purposes I'm a guy to the general public and have transitioned with hormones. But my boyfriend is, just a guy)
I read about asexuality a lot, and discuss it a fair amount with my boyfriend. He is super understanding about it and has genuine curiosity about the subject which is comforting and all well. But for awhile, it has definetly put a strain on our sex life and romantic relationship given that, I can't tell if I'm ace or not. My partner has what I consider a super high libido (and sexual trauma like me but in the complete opposite direction lol!..) but maybe it's just normal and I think it's high compared to mine. MY libido is elusive to say the least.
Reading about asexuality I've learned that ace people can have sex, which is comforting to know since I do indeed have sex with my partner. I've only recently gotten out of the phase of thinking there is something wrong with me, and trying to fix my low libido because it's "broken". That doesn't sit right with me though. I could be okay just thinking of myself as someone who just doesn't want sex AS much as your average person. But that doesn't fully encapsulate how I feel either. Whenever I describe sex or describe my feelings about it, my boyfriend doesn't understand at all. And vice versa, whenever he talks about his strong desire to have sex with me, I can honestly get uncomfortable, and sometimes I even laugh a little because I just genuinely don't get it or I think he is joking somehow.
For one, I don't really ever initiate sex because I don't think about it much. I've never felt like I needed to have sex so badly. If we have a chance to have sex but it doesn't end up working out, I don't get sad about it. At least not in the same way he does, or the way I see it portrayed in other people. I'm pretty much incapable of going out of my way, to have sex. One time I said I feel like I could never have sex again and my life wouldn't be different. It made him kind of upset at first and I felt bad, but he eventually understood what I meant. The emotional side of sex is important to me, and enjoyable. It's a work out too, and I love being physically active, it makes me happy. I also view sex as a fun activity and experience, and when we laugh during sex or it feels like we're just hanging out, that feels special to me and I see how it benefits our realtionship, It's not like I need that to stop or something...
But... Every time people talk about desire, I genuinely have no idea what that truely means. This real physical urge, and need, for sex. To want it so badly. I barely believe that it's real. One thing that makes me believe I could be ace is how I experience arousal or sexual stuff just on a personal level. Honesty time. I realized recently that whenever I fantasize about sex, through out my whole life, I never think about genitals, or the part that seperates sex from simply kissing or being affectionate/intimate/sensual. And it's hard to connect the situation to me, and MY own body. If I ever do, I start to feel gross in a way, and I can't think about it for long. Most of the time when I'm "horny" or whatever, once it actually turns into sex. It isn't, what I was looking for. Essentially, sex doesn't turn me on. It makes me wonder if I understand what being turned on really is.
It's almost a joke between my boyfriend and I that it is a real complicated puzzle to "turn me on", and it absolutely is. The circumstances for me to be enthusiastic about sex are slim and peculiar, nearly impossible. It's confusing though because we have had some real intense, good times. Typically though... I do not partake in orgasm during sex, and if I do, I do it myself. I get enjoyment out of serving my partner. It used to make me really sad in the beginning of our relationship, I felt left out, or like he didn't enjoy doing things for me, or that it was too hard to make me finish since I take longer. I've come a long way with it though. For more clarification and even more complicated-ness. I do have sexual trauma from my youth where I was forced to do certain things to someone else. It has been really hard to navigate, and asexuality aside, it is it's own monolith to conquer. This whole aspect of being queer and experiencing queer sexual assault, I wonder how much of it just seems like it could be asexuality. My avoidance of being touched or feeling gross about sex, there is a part of it that is definitely because of my trauma, and also being raised in a VERY sexist and "women are sex objects !!" household. But thats a whole other topic I won't get into here. Anyway.
I know that asexuality is a spectrum, and it seems like ace people can experience some forms of sensualness or even enjoy masturbating. Which I kind of do? I think? It honestly isn't super exciting and usually is very short and, not a deep experience or something I enjoy thoroughly. Often it can make me feel even worse! I have two opposing sides, where when it comes to sex, I can be repulsed sometimes. Or just strongly not want to. Some times my boyfriend will tell me how much he wants me in a sexual way and he'll ask me what I want, and, trying to describe how I feel leads to crying a fair amount of the time, because I just don't know what to say. There are a lot of parts of sex that I find gross or just. Why would you want it. The sensory part is a whole other story too. On the other hand, I have other very intense and strong feelings sometimes. But it doesn't feel like desire, it doesn't even feel like sex sometimes. When I think I'm fantasizing about sex, I think about a situation for a looong time, and every detail that would lead UP to sex, but, once it gets to the sex, I don't, think about that part. It has more to do with, the setting. The situation, the colors involved, smells. And not sexy smells or sexy colors, not even sexy situations! I usually just think about being outside, or in a room that has furniture that I like, the colors in the sky, and being held really tight and prolonged eye contact. That's what turns me on, not the sex. Thinking about, things like this in my head feels good, but it isn't quite arousal. It's rare I'll put in effort to make it reality. Even if the situation does come along, I don't feel like I need to escalate it to sex, in order to, get off I guess? Or enjoy it? I enjoy everything that leads up to sex, vastly more.
The most ravenous I ever got over my boyfriend was the one time he drank coffee and I could taste it on his lips. I am obsessed with coffee and, he can't drink it cus it maks him tired, so it was a novel experience. But god it sent me into a frenzy, but once it had to turn into more than kissing or clawing at eachother, it's like how turned on I was didn't count. I didn't want it to go further. I could've just done that for awhile and then stopped and I'd be good. The fact that I felt the way I did actually sent me into a breakdown of sorts and he had to pull me out of it. I didn't understand how I felt and I really didn't want to have sex even though we had great chemistry in that moment. Even though I really thought I wanted to and it felt like being turned on, it just didn't add up. ??? It's like the more "turned on" I am, the less actual sex seems appealing.
During sex, and part of why I am only a giver, is because it's really hard for me to even be turned on by touch. I've never had an orgasm so good where I thought oh I MUST do that again. ?!!?! Even if my body physically reacts, which it's hard for that to happen, it can make me feel gross. I have rarely had sex where I feel like I am just enjoying how my body feels. Some times I can get aroused physically and that's enough but I always have to think about something else. It is a lot of work, and it can lead to me becoming extremly upset and uncomfortable. My body has nothing to do with it. Doing things for my partner is a different story, it's for him and it's more than sex to me. It is fun and takes strength and brain power. It's awesome. And I don't necessarily have to be horny or aroused myself to be present emotionally. I can still have strong feelings and want to do certain stuff.
When it comes to my boyfriend, I am attracted to him, for sure. And my relationship to him is so vulnerable and intimate that I feel comfortable to partake in sex and stuff. But last night he asked me if I'm sexually attracted to him, and I felt so stupid and guilty that I didn't know how to answer. I was just blank and silent. I think he is hot, handsome, we have sex, and I enjoy making him feel good in that way, why couldn't I answer? It isn't a yes or no question to me. It seemed like it should be a yes or no question. Am I ace?
TL;DR: sex doesn't turn me on and I rarely want to have sex and I don't like being touched during sex, but I have intense feelings but they just don't feel quite sexual and I dont have a need to act on them and even if the specific situation presents itself i usually dont want to do it anymore, but having sex for my boyfriend under very specific circumstances can be cool and good, I just dont want any for myself and i cant attach myself to the situation fully, but being present emotionally with my parter, again, cool. its just really hard to do that, while having sex often. is this a form of asexuality?
2024.05.16 15:42 Polakala Shout out to self
I'm proud to say that I did not vote for NDA alliance in AP elections held on May 13th. Especially considering that this very alliance did not fulfil their poll promises during 2014 and despite being in a position of power to grant Special Category status to AP, they backstabbed AP people of their state's promised right. Such self-centric persons should not be in any form of politics in my opinion. Although unplanned, as the life would have it, I had to travel from the USA to India which happened to be just in time for the elections poll date. And had to sit as a relieving poll agent on the day of elections (main agent had to leave coz of some family emergency). Glad that I was crucial in helping with poll proceedings and our booth had one of the smoothest polls over the past couple decades. Voter turn out was 90.5%. (1000+ votes) Even in Jagan wave during 2019, my booth vote share was 40YCP:60TDP split. Would be interesting to see how the voters judge this time around. As one village openly commented (when approached with poll management tactics) that they would have to give donations to YCP for what this govt has done for them and was not interested in taking any 'notes'. Fun fact: INC poll agent voted for NDA (in his own words). Made me realize that INC in AP is indeed playing to the tunes of a person with old wily cunning fox character. It's a shame that some are stopping to such low levels. Proud FAN of YS Jagan's character marked with grit and perseverance. Also note that I'm not going to discuss about who is going to win or number of seats. It's irrelevant now, similar to post examinations thinking about marks/ rank or supplies. But like a meritorious student, Jagan is making leisure travel plans. Others are going to places like Varanasi, temples and religious places praying that they don't want to sit for supplies.
submitted by Polakala to andhra_pradesh [link] [comments]
2024.05.16 15:42 TheInvisibleMage Blistering Feint Build - Looking for Input
I've been working on a Blistering Feint build, and want to seek a second opinion.
I'm currently looking at using an Alchemist's Bomb as the "weapon" for Blistering Feint; while usually a bomb is created and thrown as part of the same action, using the Delayed Bomb discovery should allow you to hold onto it for a few rounds. It is an explicitly a weapon (and can even have weapon-based feats applied!) and does fire damage by default, so it should be valid, I think.
Questions:
submitted by TheInvisibleMage to Pathfinder_RPG [link] [comments]
I'm currently looking at using an Alchemist's Bomb as the "weapon" for Blistering Feint; while usually a bomb is created and thrown as part of the same action, using the Delayed Bomb discovery should allow you to hold onto it for a few rounds. It is an explicitly a weapon (and can even have weapon-based feats applied!) and does fire damage by default, so it should be valid, I think.
Questions:
- Is it valid in your opinion?
- What about simply holding a vial of Alchemist's Fire, and using that as our weapon, given it's an alchemical splash weapon (and thus a "weapon").
- Would it also be valid to use a gun with the Gun Chemist's Alchemical Ordinance, given that seems to add damage to the ammo, rather than the weapon?
- What about using the Grenadier's Alchemical Weapon to shove an alchemist's fire onto a regular sword?
- What about a regular bow, but loaded with a Flaming (or incendiary)) arrow?
- If I went with a more traditional Blistering Feint weapon (a battle poi, torch, etc), would the usual Strength-Mod-To-Damage apply to the Blistering Feint's damage?
- Does anyone happen to know how Pyre Steel works? Can I put oil on it to make it do 1d3 fire for a minute? Does the oil's 2 round burn time override that, or visa versa?
- Seems valid, but I can't see anyone else that's used this strategy, so I'm a little suspicious. It also seems a bit odd that our delayed bomb is somehow dealing fire damage without being "used up" until the delay ends.
- Seems valid to me, same caveat as above.
- Does not seem valid, since I think this would be treated the same as example 5, where the damage is coming from the ammo rather than the weapon.
- Does not seem valid, as while the feature does state that it applies "as bonus damage dice", it also says it only takes effect on strike; feinting is not a strike.
- Does not seem valid; damage is from the ammo, not the weapon.
- I think so? The typical text for adding a mod to damage is "Add the wielder’s Strength modifier to damage rolls", which seems like it should apply, since we're definitely still making a damage roll.
- I have no clue. I'd guess it'd extend the oil to one minute of 1d3 damage?
- This is for a home game. Our DM is super chill, so I'm not concerned about having to argue my logic; he'd likely let me get away with any or all of the above options. I personally want the character to be as "legit" as possible, however, partially for my own satisfaction and partially so I can easily re-use elements of them in later games.
- This game will be a no-magic, mostly humans campaign; in this case, meaning that any class with spellcasting is allowed, with SLAs allowed on a provisional basis. This means no Flame Blade, sadly, though if there was a way to get JUST Flame Blade with no other spells, I could probably do it.
- Other suggestions are appreciated!
2024.05.16 15:41 surprisesadness 27 [M4F] EST/Canada/USA/Anywhere - Are you lonely? Then let's be lonely together!
Hello fellow redditors,
I write this today because I’ve been yearning for emotional intimacy between two people. I want to come back home and have a nice conversation with a partner about how our days went. I want someone to laugh with while doing silly things. I want to fall asleep while cuddling with someone as we’re watching a series. Would you be that someone for me? :3
I’ll do a little presentation. I'm a 27 year old Hispanic college student living in the East coast, Canada. I'm 175cm(5'9") and weigh 80kg(175 pounds). I'm fit enough to look fit (even though I having a few pounds during lockdown) but not enough to sprint more than the time needed to catch the bus. I'm decently good looking based on the opinion of many people. Two of them being my mom and grandma and the other one being that old lady that I helped on the metro that called me handsome. I'm more than open to share pics for an unbiased opinion though.
For my hobbies, I like to exercise daily and by exercise I mean the sit-up I do every morning to get out of bed. I like watching shows but not really into anything right now. I used to be into Grimm and Game of Thrones (until last season). I like to watch anime, all time favorite being Steins;Gate. I've been binging Ranking of Kings and it's really good! However, I'm mostly into YouTube right now, watching videos essais about movies and other documentary type stuff. I've also been quite into Apex and Overwatch 2 recently. I've been playing often with a couple of friends on the afternoons. I like competitive multiplayer games as I used to play a whole lot of Smite, but I also like story based single player games like The Witcher 3 and the last God of War game. Recently, I’ve been wanting to get back into Ark too. I'm also in to reading at the moment. I've been trying to finish a fantasy book series I started as a teenager but wasn't completed yet. I'm more of an indoor type (as you might have guessed) but I do like to go outside. Mostly to hang out with friends, but I also like to walk along the river near home to relax and clear my mind. I hope this is enough to give any potential reader who I am as a person. We don't have to share the same hobbies and like the same things but it would be a nice bonus :3
Personality wise, I'm very laidback and rarely stress over stuff. I have quite a dark humor and I am rarely insulted by stuff as I tend not to take things too seriously but I do know when I have to be serious.
I would like to find that special someone that would ideally be around my age (20-35) but I would be open to a wider range if we click. I have no preference but I do feel a certain level of physical attraction is important.
I wish you a wonderful day/night and thank you for your time.
submitted by surprisesadness to r4r [link] [comments]
I write this today because I’ve been yearning for emotional intimacy between two people. I want to come back home and have a nice conversation with a partner about how our days went. I want someone to laugh with while doing silly things. I want to fall asleep while cuddling with someone as we’re watching a series. Would you be that someone for me? :3
I’ll do a little presentation. I'm a 27 year old Hispanic college student living in the East coast, Canada. I'm 175cm(5'9") and weigh 80kg(175 pounds). I'm fit enough to look fit (even though I having a few pounds during lockdown) but not enough to sprint more than the time needed to catch the bus. I'm decently good looking based on the opinion of many people. Two of them being my mom and grandma and the other one being that old lady that I helped on the metro that called me handsome. I'm more than open to share pics for an unbiased opinion though.
For my hobbies, I like to exercise daily and by exercise I mean the sit-up I do every morning to get out of bed. I like watching shows but not really into anything right now. I used to be into Grimm and Game of Thrones (until last season). I like to watch anime, all time favorite being Steins;Gate. I've been binging Ranking of Kings and it's really good! However, I'm mostly into YouTube right now, watching videos essais about movies and other documentary type stuff. I've also been quite into Apex and Overwatch 2 recently. I've been playing often with a couple of friends on the afternoons. I like competitive multiplayer games as I used to play a whole lot of Smite, but I also like story based single player games like The Witcher 3 and the last God of War game. Recently, I’ve been wanting to get back into Ark too. I'm also in to reading at the moment. I've been trying to finish a fantasy book series I started as a teenager but wasn't completed yet. I'm more of an indoor type (as you might have guessed) but I do like to go outside. Mostly to hang out with friends, but I also like to walk along the river near home to relax and clear my mind. I hope this is enough to give any potential reader who I am as a person. We don't have to share the same hobbies and like the same things but it would be a nice bonus :3
Personality wise, I'm very laidback and rarely stress over stuff. I have quite a dark humor and I am rarely insulted by stuff as I tend not to take things too seriously but I do know when I have to be serious.
I would like to find that special someone that would ideally be around my age (20-35) but I would be open to a wider range if we click. I have no preference but I do feel a certain level of physical attraction is important.
I wish you a wonderful day/night and thank you for your time.
2024.05.16 15:40 No_Debate1074 Rants of a feminist !!!!
This is going to be long. If you want to comment, read everything !
submitted by No_Debate1074 to NepalSocial [link] [comments]
- Feminism is an ideology. It’s a global social movement. It’s not an organization with set of rules that people who claims to be feminists need to follow. Every individual claims to be one depending on the environment they are in or where they grew up or horrible personal experiences or simply because they believe in equality.
- Feminists don’t hate men. There are surely extremists who hates them but they are in minority. Most “men hater” term comes from people who are anti-feminists. There are also types of feminists. Radical, liberal, cultural, etc. Atleast have some knowledge about it.
- Feminists are against patriarchy that includes both men and women. It’s society. Well it’s true that men are the ones who gets the most benefit out of it but that doesn’t mean men don’t suffer.
- Fighting against patriarchy also means less burden to men. Giving space for men to be vulnerable. Trying to free them from “men don’t cry” tag.
- Being equal does not mean women being physically strong and beating the heck out of men. Biologically men are stronger. Women seek for cerebral equality and not at all physical.
- Most of the basic right were still being given to women in 90’s which was not a long ago. Women were finally allowed to get a driver’s license in Saudi Arabia in 2008 !!!! There are still FGM( Female genital mutilation) happening in some underdeveloped countries which means. Females private part is stitched and opened by their mothers while they get married or it just gets unstitched while they get intimate with their so called husbands at night
- WE DO NOT SUPPORT women who falsely accuse men. They are the reason that real cases are being looked down on. Strong actions should definitely be taken against those women. Strict measures are taken against those kinda women in countries like Singapore, South Korea, etc.
- While we talk about accusations, fake accusations falls within 2-10% in the world. Majority of the accusations are true. Saying this, strong actions should be against those women who blackmail men.
- All the anti-feminists starts commenting on cases like Sandeep Lamichaney’s but they don’t have the balls to appreciate those feminists because of whose support, a lot of women are getting justice.
- If a woman chooses to become a homemaker then that is completely fine if her partner is okay with it. Forcing her to become a homemaker just because she is a woman is wrong. It’s about a choice that a woman should get.
- Not all women are feminist and not all men are anti-feminist. As a whole the fight is against patriarchy.
- Let’s talk about alimony. I know it’s unfair that women (who has enough) to get half of husband’s property. There should be a clause where working women who has enough should not be provided with a penny or prenub should be legalized. But because our law is outdated, everyone needs to follow it. While it’s unfair for working women to get t alimony but at the same time, women who completely depends on her husband for finances specially in rural areas will be in advantage.
- Let’s talk about dowry. While you guys rant about gold digger and alimony, you forget to mention the Dowry men get even when it’s illegal. There is literally deals happening in terai region of Nepal. And don’t compare dowry with alimony coz marriage is more common than divorce. Try to fight with that first.
- Whenever some injustice happens related to men or women- people are very quick to call out feminists for not doing the work or not fighting. Timi haru ko problem hoina tyo? Can’t you also fight or for god’s sake be vocal Instead of writing “where are the feminists” post?
- Men are also victim of rape. Actually a lot of them. Men are being raped by men majority of the time and some cases where women are the culprits. But our stupid, patriarchal and homophobic law doesn’t regard “raping a man” is a thing. They don’t have a law for it. And patriarchal society doesn’t give space for men to be vocal about harrrassment coz people will start taking it as a joke.
2024.05.16 15:39 surprisesadness 27 [M4F] EST/Canada/USA/Anywhere - Are you lonely? Then let's be lonely together!
Hello fellow redditors,
I write this today because I’ve been yearning for emotional intimacy between two people. I want to come back home and have a nice conversation with a partner about how our days went. I want someone to laugh with while doing silly things. I want to fall asleep while cuddling with someone as we’re watching a series. Would you be that someone for me? :3
I’ll do a little presentation. I'm a 27 year old Hispanic college student living in the East coast, Canada. I'm 175cm(5'9") and weigh 80kg(175 pounds). I'm fit enough to look fit (even though I having a few pounds during lockdown) but not enough to sprint more than the time needed to catch the bus. I'm decently good looking based on the opinion of many people. Two of them being my mom and grandma and the other one being that old lady that I helped on the metro that called me handsome. I'm more than open to share pics for an unbiased opinion though.
For my hobbies, I like to exercise daily and by exercise I mean the sit-up I do every morning to get out of bed. I like watching shows but not really into anything right now. I used to be into Grimm and Game of Thrones (until last season). I like to watch anime, all time favorite being Steins;Gate. I've been binging Ranking of Kings and it's really good! However, I'm mostly into YouTube right now, watching videos essais about movies and other documentary type stuff. I've also been quite into Apex and Overwatch 2 recently. I've been playing often with a couple of friends on the afternoons. I like competitive multiplayer games as I used to play a whole lot of Smite, but I also like story based single player games like The Witcher 3 and the last God of War game. Recently, I’ve been wanting to get back into Ark too. I'm also in to reading at the moment. I've been trying to finish a fantasy book series I started as a teenager but wasn't completed yet. I'm more of an indoor type (as you might have guessed) but I do like to go outside. Mostly to hang out with friends, but I also like to walk along the river near home to relax and clear my mind. I hope this is enough to give any potential reader who I am as a person. We don't have to share the same hobbies and like the same things but it would be a nice bonus :3
Personality wise, I'm very laidback and rarely stress over stuff. I have quite a dark humor and I am rarely insulted by stuff as I tend not to take things too seriously but I do know when I have to be serious.
I would like to find that special someone that would ideally be around my age (20-35) but I would be open to a wider range if we click. I have no preference but I do feel a certain level of physical attraction is important.
So if you’re still here after reading all of that, why don’t you send me a message ;3 We could chat for a while and see how things go.
I wish you a wonderful day/night and thank you for your time.
submitted by surprisesadness to ForeverAloneDating [link] [comments]
I write this today because I’ve been yearning for emotional intimacy between two people. I want to come back home and have a nice conversation with a partner about how our days went. I want someone to laugh with while doing silly things. I want to fall asleep while cuddling with someone as we’re watching a series. Would you be that someone for me? :3
I’ll do a little presentation. I'm a 27 year old Hispanic college student living in the East coast, Canada. I'm 175cm(5'9") and weigh 80kg(175 pounds). I'm fit enough to look fit (even though I having a few pounds during lockdown) but not enough to sprint more than the time needed to catch the bus. I'm decently good looking based on the opinion of many people. Two of them being my mom and grandma and the other one being that old lady that I helped on the metro that called me handsome. I'm more than open to share pics for an unbiased opinion though.
For my hobbies, I like to exercise daily and by exercise I mean the sit-up I do every morning to get out of bed. I like watching shows but not really into anything right now. I used to be into Grimm and Game of Thrones (until last season). I like to watch anime, all time favorite being Steins;Gate. I've been binging Ranking of Kings and it's really good! However, I'm mostly into YouTube right now, watching videos essais about movies and other documentary type stuff. I've also been quite into Apex and Overwatch 2 recently. I've been playing often with a couple of friends on the afternoons. I like competitive multiplayer games as I used to play a whole lot of Smite, but I also like story based single player games like The Witcher 3 and the last God of War game. Recently, I’ve been wanting to get back into Ark too. I'm also in to reading at the moment. I've been trying to finish a fantasy book series I started as a teenager but wasn't completed yet. I'm more of an indoor type (as you might have guessed) but I do like to go outside. Mostly to hang out with friends, but I also like to walk along the river near home to relax and clear my mind. I hope this is enough to give any potential reader who I am as a person. We don't have to share the same hobbies and like the same things but it would be a nice bonus :3
Personality wise, I'm very laidback and rarely stress over stuff. I have quite a dark humor and I am rarely insulted by stuff as I tend not to take things too seriously but I do know when I have to be serious.
I would like to find that special someone that would ideally be around my age (20-35) but I would be open to a wider range if we click. I have no preference but I do feel a certain level of physical attraction is important.
So if you’re still here after reading all of that, why don’t you send me a message ;3 We could chat for a while and see how things go.
I wish you a wonderful day/night and thank you for your time.
2024.05.16 15:37 pet_catlover 25 [F4M] Africa/Anywhere/Online - Anyone else looking for a serious monogamous relationship??
Hey there,well if you see my post again i obviously haven't met my match yet😅😅 I'm not picky, it's always like this,,,I want them they don't want me,they want me i don't want them🤣🤣 But hey i still want to try again,who knows??
So a bit about me,I'm a 25 yo female from Zambia who's looking for someone special in all coners of the world. I went to school for cooking but now working as a translator and I loooooove my job😍 nothing is more fun than having a job you enjoy.
I'd say I'm very happy with my life rn and I need somebody to enjoy it with. I want us to love eachother deeply without any doubts in our relationship, communication is very big to me so If you aren't a great communicator I don't want you! I don't like wasting time, I'll tell you what I want/need/like/hate and I expect the same from you.
Appearance wise I'm black,5'4 tall, 165lbs(working on getting to my weight goal).
My expectations from you: - 25-35 - Currently single and looking for a serious relationship - Taller than 5'5 - Physically and mentally fit(or at least trying your best) - hardworking - Generous - Loving/caring - Trustworthy - Monogamous - Straight - Clingy - Chatty - Want kids in the future
Asking for too much right? Well, nothing is too much when you love the person lol. Everyone is busy,but I believe we'll always find time,move mountains for the person we really want to be with. After all I'll always be there for you,listen, support and bully you 🫢🫢
If interested HMU with your self introduction, that's more interesting than just a Hi...
GMT+2
submitted by pet_catlover to ForeverAloneDating [link] [comments]
So a bit about me,I'm a 25 yo female from Zambia who's looking for someone special in all coners of the world. I went to school for cooking but now working as a translator and I loooooove my job😍 nothing is more fun than having a job you enjoy.
I'd say I'm very happy with my life rn and I need somebody to enjoy it with. I want us to love eachother deeply without any doubts in our relationship, communication is very big to me so If you aren't a great communicator I don't want you! I don't like wasting time, I'll tell you what I want/need/like/hate and I expect the same from you.
Appearance wise I'm black,5'4 tall, 165lbs(working on getting to my weight goal).
My expectations from you: - 25-35 - Currently single and looking for a serious relationship - Taller than 5'5 - Physically and mentally fit(or at least trying your best) - hardworking - Generous - Loving/caring - Trustworthy - Monogamous - Straight - Clingy - Chatty - Want kids in the future
Asking for too much right? Well, nothing is too much when you love the person lol. Everyone is busy,but I believe we'll always find time,move mountains for the person we really want to be with. After all I'll always be there for you,listen, support and bully you 🫢🫢
If interested HMU with your self introduction, that's more interesting than just a Hi...
GMT+2
2024.05.16 15:36 Diligent_Policy1678 New obsession
I just started listening to them and I am totally obsessed...I never thought I would be this into a new band. Last time was Tool back in the day. Tool holds a special place for me but this is better. If I had Sleep Token as a teenager I would be a different person now. I've been listening to them for 4 days straight now and I am feeling sooo much better. I'm healing from this horrible depression I've been in for a while. Thank you for this music, I needed this.
submitted by Diligent_Policy1678 to SleepToken [link] [comments]
2024.05.16 15:36 Yurii_S_Kh Metropolitan Anthony of Sourozh and His Ministry in the UK
 | Archpriest Maxim Nikolsky lives in the UK and has served in parishes of the Moscow Patriarchate in this country for many decades. He has talked about his ministry and the people who influenced him. submitted by Yurii_S_Kh to SophiaWisdomOfGod [link] [comments] —Father Maxim, your blessing. Please tell us about yourself. How did you end up in the UK? —I was born in Kiev. During the Second World War, when the Germans entered the city, my parents, like many others, left Kiev. And through Europe they eventually got to England. It was easy for me to learn English. It is not difficult for any child to learn a language, and after a few months you already can communicate with other children. Then I graduated from school and a university here, and became a teacher. I grew up in ROCOR. During my youth, there were very few Orthodox churches in the country, and we only traveled there for the major feasts several times a year. When I was in ROCOR, I got to know the Moscow Patriarchate and met Metropolitan Anthony of Sourozh. But it was much later, when I started working and teaching. Archpriest Maxim Nikolsky —How did you decide to become a priest? —When I was thirty, I decided to go and study again. And then I met Associate Professor Sergei Hackel, the future archpriest, with whom we later became friends. But at that time I was not yet acquainted with Vladyka Anthony. I met him when I graduated from the second university and we moved to live elsewhere. We attended a ROCOR church, where Archbishop Nicodemus (Nagaev; 1883-1976) served. He was a general in the First World War, then became a priest and archbishop. But when we moved, we started attending the nearest church—it was in Oxford. And Oxford is the Moscow Patriarchate. We attended it, and on the great feasts we went to the Holy Annunciation Convent (ROCOR). It was headed by Mother Abbess Elisabeth (Ampenoff; 1908-1999). I met Vladyka Anthony in the Moscow Patriarchate, and over time he ordained me deacon. So I served as a deacon in Oxford. And a few years later, he ordained me priest. We had a joint church with the Greeks in Oxford. It was originally consecrated by a Greek bishop, Vladyka Anthony and a Serbian bishop. At that time we served together, there was a very friendly and good atmosphere there. But I also traveled to London regularly to serve with Vladyka. —Were you his spiritual child? —Yes, I was. —Please tell us about him. How would you describe his personality? Can you remember how he stood before God at the Liturgy, how he prayed? —Of course, it’s very easy. He was a man of prayer. Clergy rarely pray this way, with such depth. When he prayed, there were no conversations in the sanctuary—something that unfortunately does happen. He himself didn’t talk. Like many hierarchs, he prayed without a service book, because he knew all the services by heart and did not need prompting. And he would often stand with his eyes closed between his exclamations. In his declining years he leaned on his staff because it was hard for him to maintain balance—he was ill towards the end of his life. He had a very pleasant voice, which he raised when he gave exclamations or preached a sermon. He never raised his voice at anyone. However, there was one occasion when he scolded the whole congregation from the ambo after the Liturgy, after someone had offended a mother with a child in the middle of the church the previous week. The child was crying, making noise, and someone told his mother rather rudely to leave the church because the child was hindering his prayer. Vladyka said that it must never happen again and that the parishioner in question had not prayed enough if he could do this. But Vladyka, as I said, always insisted that there should be silence and a prayerful state in church, and not noise. Vladyka Anthony at the Diocesan youth camp in 1961. When Vladyka came to the UK, he did not know English. He knew Russian, French and German, but did not speak English and learned it after moving to the UK. And when he became a bishop, he decided that since he was in Britain, he should preach in English. He would write his sermons on paper, writing down what he wanted to say. And one day a parishioner told him (everyone called him “father”, although he was a hierarch, because he was a father to everyone): “Father Anthony, we are very bored listening to you.” Vladyka was surprised, “Really?” The parishioner replied, “You know, yes, it’s boring. You’d better speak without a paper.” Vladyka wondered, “But why? After all, I make mistakes when I speak.” The parishioner answered, “Yes, but when you make mistakes, it’s so funny and interesting to us.” Vladyka took it into account and began to speak without a paper. And after this, he had brilliant English. —What was his pastoral approach to people? What was his attitude towards the sacrament of confession? —When I came to his parish, he rarely heard confessions, and he heard confessions only of specific people, not the whole congregation. He had a very careful attitude towards this sacrament and showed understanding to every individual person. Everybody who spoke with Vladyka felt that he was the most important person for Vladyka at that moment. A film was made about him, called, The Apostle of Love. He really treated everyone with love. He could be strict, but love always came first. Vladyka felt people keenly. If someone had a really serious problem, he had access to Vladyka; although of course, as an archpastor he was busy. —Do you think he acquired this love, or did he always have it? —I didn’t know his mother. Perhaps he inherited some traits from his father—an understanding of life, people and God Himself. If you recall, his meeting with the Savior took place when he was a young man. After listening to one theological lecture, he was indignant: “How is it? It’s impossible!” Then he went home and said: “Mom, do we have a Gospel?” Of course, they had one at home. He opened the Gospel of Mark, and as he would often later recall, he began to read it, read several chapters and suddenly felt that Christ was standing next to him… Before that, he hadn’t wanted to go to church, being an interesting young student. But at that moment, he felt Him. He couldn’t see, but He knew that Christ was there.… He had knowledge, wisdom, and love. It seems to me that we have no other archpastor who would speak so simply and so deeply at the same time. He spoke directly, like a close friend and a father. And it is love too. Unfortunately, we don’t feel it everywhere… Vladyka Anthony at the diocesan conference in May 1985. —Father Maxim, could you share with us what else you learned from him? —Of course, Vladyka’s influence on everyone who served in London was great. He ordained all the clergy in the cathedral. He knew everyone very well. And you could just see how he lived. And he lived very modestly. He cooked for himself and cleaned himself his small cell, which was at the cathedral. Many people were happy to give him a lift whenever needed: sometimes he called them when there were urgent matters, and several people were always ready to give him a lift. But mostly he traveled on his own, on foot. Over time, people throughout the country held him in great esteem. He spoke on the BBC, on the radio, on some channels that broadcast abroad. People in the Soviet Union listened to him often, although those broadcasts were jammed. Fr. Sergii Hackel worked for the BBC, and Vladyka would come to him. Many universities invited him to give talks; he had many honorary doctorates from different universities. Major hospitals invited him to talk about pastoral care and medicine as well. After all, he himself had once been a doctor. —Did he convert many Brits to Orthodoxy? —Surely, a lot of them, including many influential figures. At the very beginning, the services were only in Church Slavonic, and then they began to celebrate in English. Once a month, he held services entirely in English. And even those who did not convert to Orthodoxy venerated Vladyka. Later, I personally met many people who, being British, remembered Metropolitan Anthony’s words he had spoken in Anglican seminaries, to which he had been invited. He came there and talked about Christianity, but from an Orthodox perspective. He would say: “I’m talking about Christianity. I am a Christian, a Russian to the core, an Orthodox Christian.” Undoubtedly, there were those who converted to Orthodoxy thanks to him. And those who did not convert remembered him all their lives; many of them used his sermons. But, you know, he didn’t write his sermons or books—all his books are his living word. —Have you met other spiritual people in your life who have influenced you? —Personally, I did not communicate, because I felt shy and thought how it would be if I approached him, since he saw right through me—I’m talking about St. John of Shanghai and San Francisco. —Did you see him in person? —Yes. He would come to London. But I didn’t dare approach him. Once I was at a Liturgy that he served. But to my shame, I did not come up to him when he gave the cross to kiss at the end of the service. I was a student then. Later I began to learn more and more about him... And there was Elder Sophrony (Sakharov), who founded the Monastery of St. John the Baptist in Essex. I spoke with him, knew him, and visited his monastery in my time. —What can you tell readers about him? —He was a man of prayer. He had a sense of humor. When I first came there, he was already very old. Many people flocked to him. People came from everywhere, especially on weekends, and there were always many people there. People could approach him and talk to him. —What did Vladyka Anthony think about Elder Sophrony? They probably knew each other. —They certainly did. They were quite close at one time. I met Elder Sophrony at the London Cathedral just when he was having a meeting with Metropolitan Anthony. Coincidentally, I arrived there when Fr. Sophrony was leaving with Vladyka, who escorted him out of the cathedral. At that time, I didn’t actually know about this monastery. The elder said, “Come to us.” And Metropolitan Anthony added, “Yes, it’s nice there.” It was really very good there—there was a truly Athonite spirit. This is a unique monastery, because it is a monastery for monks, where there were also nuns. Of course, they lived as separate communities. And it’s very much like a family, with love. Unfortunately, we are not in communion with them now, since the monastery belongs to the Patriarchate of Constantinople. Archimandrite Sophrony (Sakharov) —Please tell us about your priestly ministry. —I have served at the London Cathedral for over twenty years now. I have two other small parishes, and one of them is situated in the south of England, by the sea. I serve once a month in one, and once a month in the other. I mostly serve at the London Cathedral. Since the disintegration of the Soviet Union, many people have come to us. Over the past two years, many people have also come from Russia and Ukraine. Many have lost their homes and left everything, and we should pastor them too. We serve in two languages. —Father Maxim, there is a theological academy at the Moscow Sretensky Monastery. What advice would you give to future clergy? In your opinion, what is the most important thing in this ministry? —In my view, in addition to understanding, knowing the services and prayers, the most important thing is not to feel that you have suddenly received some special gift and can now lead or rule people. Unfortunately, this happens sometimes. In the Russian Church, very young men become priests. I know that young priests are ordained in the Church of Greece as well, but they do not have the right to hear people’s confessions for some time because they have no experience. But in the Russian Church, they can do it right away. And there are some incautious young priests who can even say something rude. Of course, this is bad. We should learn from Vladyka Anthony and other good archpastors to treat everyone with love. You can mutter a rude word, and this can offend someone. And this person will say, “I will go to a place where I am well received.” —In conclusion, can you please give believers living in Russia some edifying words? —It’s difficult because I don’t live in Russia and haven’t been there for so many years. I think it’s important to stay true to your heart, your conscience, and not be afraid. Everybody should define their values and turn to God: “If it is from Thee, O Lord, help me act, speak and think accordingly. And if not, enlighten me as to how and what I should do.” —Thank you for your answers. Alexandra Kalinovskaya spoke with Archpriest Maxim Nikolsky Source: OrthoChristian |
2024.05.16 15:36 larchington Jehovah’s Witnesses, Charity and the Poor A short article on who "the poor" really are according to JW doctrine.
 | "Do not make personal arrangements to send donations" submitted by larchington to exjw [link] [comments] It’s no surprise that JW are told not to make personal donations to those in need as in the recent announcement in Brazil… https://preview.redd.it/l3offlbtas0d1.jpg?width=1598&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2657d763a027697749d8f37f6728c18be26186bd https://preview.redd.it/wqmlhcx1bs0d1.jpg?width=990&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f87eb6007bd20d5600a9c0fe3990da2942e650de https://preview.redd.it/9wv9kw8cbs0d1.jpg?width=1290&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=60b2f29ad600e624dece577b8884873ee09ead07 A better way to help the poor Back in 1971 The Watchtower said there was a better way to help the poor and hungry than giving them literal bread. https://preview.redd.it/mfy97cihbs0d1.jpg?width=1290&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=40b72a50b51a0056951978c436ab76b0306e519d Twisting scriptures (and what Jesus really meant) They said that interpreting that Jesus meant giving the world’s poor and distressed food, clothing, shelter and medical help was a drastic twisting of scripture. Jesus didn’t mean that. He meant the "Christian congregation." (Back then, everyone in the Christian congregation was anointed!) https://preview.redd.it/rufmz051cs0d1.jpg?width=786&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=678dc8c423000c27b4efce327446ca6430b122b1 Jesus didn’t mean help the poor, he meant help fellow Christians. In fact, more than this. He meant for people in the world to help Christ’s “spiritual brothers” who are in need in a material way. “Christ’s spiritual brothers” are the anointed only… \"the correct understanding of Jesus' words\" "People in the world" Notice how they then went on to say “people who are not Christ’s spiritual brothers” help those who are. This has non-anointed JW included in “people in the world” in this context! Who are anointed? How does one help the anointed when nobody knows who else is “truly anointed”… for they could have “mental problems”? https://preview.redd.it/kat6y6sfcs0d1.jpg?width=630&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0bf0acbb23aa6a14d5ff390285b03635812c7cd4 No special treatment How can one feed the anointed when one is warned to not give them special treatment in case they do not remain faithful? https://preview.redd.it/q8nd9o8fgs0d1.jpg?width=1290&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0552d6cc1c424b7c01784062c539ae290db3f61b Who can a JW identify as anointed for sure? Since the time this article was written the only ones we know for sure (according to themselves, trust them, they are 😉) are “Christ’s spiritual brothers” are the faithful and discreet slave, AKA the Governing Body. https://preview.redd.it/vg7po3wpcs0d1.jpg?width=1021&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d81b2ca4ed5b738de20b46a35786dea67de06580 This quote from the September 2019 Watchtower further hints that they believe they are the only true anointed. After all, what weighty responsibilities do “anointed brothers” have in congregations when we don’t even know who is truly anointed? Note the scripture quoted is the same one about giving material food and shelter... https://preview.redd.it/g083wb2wcs0d1.jpg?width=1290&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=20555f51829e7771331810933c759556e1f9ceb2 https://preview.redd.it/7e8jqfm5ds0d1.jpg?width=1290&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f7046b357792ee69f81867f9a56b79f9166cccfc "The poor" identified So now we have established that according to JW: -the “poor” are the anointed. -the only ones JW can be certain are the anointed are the Governing Body. Then: “Give to the poor” means give to the Governing Body (via jw org). \"Feed identifiable anointed ones...not poor worldly people\" But wait, there’s more. JW go a step further!They want the actual materially poor people to give to “the poor” (the GB/ the org)!-exGB member Anthony Morris, September 2021 JW Broadcast (is he still considered “poor” in the JW context?)This widow went hungry so Anthony Morris could get a retirement home. Irony Back in 1950 The Watchtower criticized certain religious charitable organizations for giving the poor only 15 percent of the money they receive, the rest spent on overheads… https://preview.redd.it/3u5hh2onds0d1.jpg?width=1290&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ae92812904a44f81185f1bb2c9390cb7b5869cec Where do the millions of dollars go that get donated to the “religious charitable organization” of Jehovah’s Witnesses? Here are some examples of their spending, not to mention the undisclosed amounts spent on out of court settlements in child sexual abuse cases. Not enough room here for all the legal fees/ court fines and penalties. One more thing Despite being charity and getting tax breaks and government subsidies for being a charity (or charities) “Jehovah’s organization” has no systematic organized mechanism for giving to the materially poor within the worldwide organization and nothing at all for non-JW. They have “disaster relief” for use in emergencies to help mainly JW. But a JW who falls on hard times can only hope to receive ad hoc help from fellow JW adherents, not the organization. Non-JW materially poor are offered spiritual food/ sheltehelp or in other words invisible food/ sheltehelp. Sometimes the org will ask a local congregation to directly provide shelte food etc to distressed JW in their locality even though they already donated to the org directly for this as instructed. To put this in perspective, Imagine if I went around with a bucket to collect money from everyone in the pub to help the homeless person outside the door but when it came to actually feeding that homeless person I told the people in the pub to provide them with lunch or have another collection on the table nearest the door and do it themselves?! (all while using the money in my bucket to pay for properties, overheads, lawyers and CSA court settlements). It's truly amazing. Whether or not you believe Jesus existed or not, if he said give to the poor, take it literally. Whoever said it. It is simple enough. Just give to the poor. You can't go wrong with that! |