So I've been wanting to rant this for a while and I'm finally willing. I had a journal when I was younger and I just found it again so I'm just posting based from what I read and remember. So first is kinda the backstory. This starts from 6th grade to 8th grade. In 6th grade there was two sides and the rest of the friends, these will not be real names. So I was on the side that was mostly in the right/didn't start it. There was me and this girl I'll call Kelly, then on the other side was Lav and Jams. The rest of the friend group was more like bystanders and kind of judges to both sides. The main judge was May, who was the therapist friend for a lot of my friends throughout elementary and middle school. Kelly and Jams always conflicted over stupid things. After me and Lav got our side of the story we came together and talked about it, sometimes bringing it up to May for help. At the time Lav had a boyfriend I'll call Bear. Bear and Jams hated each other, but they both wanted to hang out with Lav. Our teacher literally made Lav have to hang out with only one of them because they fought so much. During this time me and Jams were having problems with our sexual and gender identity, and Kelly was homophobic, which was also another reason Kelly and Jams conflicted. So in 7th grade Kelly and Jams were no longer friends, during some lunch hours I would go to Kelly and Lav's lunch (they had a separate lunch from me and Jams). They vented about Jams a lot and I never expected them to be friends again. Not much else happened in 7th grade besides Jams dating about 20 people (yes this is an accurate number) and finding out they were transgender. In March or some time near then of that year they brought a flag to school (I think it was omnisexual) and started telling people that was my sexuality when I wasn't out (they told Kelly and May). I didn't know about this until my birthday party in late summer when May and Lav told me. May started texting Jams and Jams ended up blocking me. About halfway through 8th grade me and Jams became friends again, although they manipulated me and my friends. Now, they still haven't figured out their gender and sexual identity at this point. They got mad at me for flirting (terriblely) with their boyfriend. Their boyfriend did flirt back and was totally comfortable about it and knew it was platonic. Me and their boyfriend did start dating after they broke up and that lasted for a month. We were friends afterwards but because we started dating Jams hated me. They said I was using them and making their boyfriend get a cursh on me even though I've told them we were just joking. Soon after I gave them a letter explaining everything from 6th grade from my PoV and they stopped hating me. They were still annoying and said stupid things, they also do not respect boundaries at all and have literally put their hands around my neck like they'd strangle me. They also jump on my back and said things that made me uncomfortable (flirting with me in a weird way) even though I told them to stop.

So I've been wanting to rant this for a while and I'm finally willing. I had a journal when I was younger and I just found it again so I'm just posting based from what I read and remember. So first is kinda the backstory. This starts from 6th grade to 8th grade. In 6th grade there was two sides and the rest of the friends, these will not be real names. So I was on the side that was mostly in the right/didn't start it. There was me and this girl I'll call Kelly, then on the other side was Lav and Jams. The rest of the friend group was more like bystanders and kind of judges to both sides. The main judge was May, who was the therapist friend for a lot of my friends throughout elementary and middle school. Kelly and Jams always conflicted over stupid things. After me and Lav got our side of the story we came together and talked about it, sometimes bringing it up to May for help. At the time Lav had a boyfriend I'll call Bear. Bear and Jams hated each other, but they both wanted to hang out with Lav. Our teacher literally made Lav have to hang out with only one of them because they fought so much. During this time me and Jams were having problems with our sexual and gender identity, and Kelly was homophobic, which was also another reason Kelly and Jams conflicted. So in 7th grade Kelly and Jams were no longer friends, during some lunch hours I would go to Kelly and Lav's lunch (they had a separate lunch from me and Jams). They vented about Jams a lot and I never expected them to be friends again. Not much else happened in 7th grade besides Jams dating about 20 people (yes this is an accurate number) and finding out they were transgender. In March or some time near then of that year they brought a flag to school (I think it was omnisexual) and started telling people that was my sexuality when I wasn't out (they told Kelly and May). I didn't know about this until my birthday party in late summer when May and Lav told me. May started texting Jams and Jams ended up blocking me. About halfway through 8th grade me and Jams became friends again, although they manipulated me and my friends. Now, they still haven't figured out their gender and sexual identity at this point. They got mad at me for flirting (terriblely) with their boyfriend. Their boyfriend did flirt back and was totally comfortable about it and knew it was platonic. Me and their boyfriend did start dating after they broke up and that lasted for a month. We were friends afterwards but because we started dating Jams hated me. They said I was using them and making their boyfriend get a cursh on me even though I've told them we were just joking. Soon after I gave them a letter explaining everything from 6th grade from my PoV and they stopped hating me. They were still annoying and said stupid things, they also do not respect boundaries at all and have literally put their hands around my neck like they'd strangle me. They also jump on my back and said things that made me uncomfortable (flirting with me in a weird way) even though I told them to stop.

Written by u/GoldWhale & u/JD397
Thanks everyone for your patience with us getting this written up. Much appreciation to my co-author u/JD397 for his work, scouting analysis, and comprehensive background knowledge on where Demidov sat compared to historical players, and the international analysis. Please note, this analysis won’t focus on why Demidov>Levshunov. In terms of BPA, Demidov is nearly unanimously over Levshunov based on consolidated rankings. With the Blackhawks publicly saying they want to go BPA, we hope to establish a case as to why Demidov truly stands above the rest, by a good margin. We hope that this was worth the wait, and we haven’t disappointed anyone who may have wanted more. We’re amateurs, give us a small break 😉
When Deputy Commissioner Bill Daly flipped the decisive card to reveal the number one overall pick, Blackhawks fans were disappointed. They were going to miss out on Macklin Celebrini, the consensus number one center and number one overall player in the draft. After winning Connor Bedard the prior year, many fans were hoping for a one two punch down the middle, their own version of McDavid and Draisaitl, Crosby and Malkin; this was not to be.
Despite the initial dismay, fans were still happy. The Blackhawks won the second lottery, and with that, the rights to select a franchise player at number two overall. Immediately, though, there was debate. Swirling on social media there were rumors that the Blackhawks were predominantly looking at two high end prospects: Ivan Demidov (RW/C) and Artyom Levshunov (D). On one hand Demidov is an elite prospect at wing with excellent hands, creativity, and legitimate top line wing with PPG+ upside. On the other, Levshunov is a dynamic offensive defenseman with a stellar shot, solid size, dynamic skating, and most importantly right-handedness.
The Blackhawks, realistically, need both positions. Last year the Blackhawks iced one of the worst offenses in the entire league, scoring the second least goals behind only San Jose. They also had the fourth worst defense, surrendering 290 goals on the season. Neither are acceptable in the push for a playoff spot in the coming years, but ultimately with number two, you can only choose one of the two players. After our hours of analysis, u/JD397 and I believe there is no debate – as good as Levshunov is, Demidov is closer in skill and projection to Celebrini than anyone else in the draft is to him.
So who is Ivan Demidov? He’s an 18 year old forward playing for SKA 1946, a MHL affiliate of SKA of the KHL. Since the 2023 draft the big story out of the KHL was the dominance of Matvei Michkov. This was a kid who destroyed the MHL by putting up 38 points in 22 games and going PPG+ in the playoffs his D-1 Year. Michkov then outperformed Connor Bedard by putting up 16 points in 7 games at the IIHF U18s in 2021. Michkov was, and still is, borderline generational but there was someone else waiting in his shadow. In his D-1 Year, Ivan Demidov put up 62 points in 41 games, and scored 1.3PPG in the MHL playoffs. While putting up a lower PPG pace than Michkov, Demidov’s game was substantially more well rounded and scouts started to take notice of another potential franchise winger in Ivan Demidov.
Demidov exploded in his D-0 Year, putting up a literal 2.0 PPG pace in the MHL the highest pace ever for a player 18 or under, and the third highest PPG in league history. In the playoffs, despite an injury, Demidov posted a ridiculous 28 points in 17 games. This production was unheard of beforehand and bested Kucherov’s 1.87 point pace at 18. Not only did Demidov have better production AND two way play, but he also did it nearly 7 months younger. Demidov remains a bright spot who is able to elevate his play to the competition. Before talking about playstyle, strengths, comps, projections, etc. it needs to be noted just how dominant Demidov was on the scoresheet.
Now that fans know who Ivan Demidov is, let’s address the elephant in the room. Demidov is Russian and with the political climate worldwide, being a Russian is associated with an inherent risk of a prospect not coming over. Rest assured – there is no such concern in this case. Last year, rumors swirled around Michkov not coming over due to three factors:

1. Michkov did not meet with more than two teams and actively told specific teams he would not play for them.
   
2. Michkov was incredibly difficult to get ahold of predraft and it made scouts and front offices skeptical on his character and desire to come to the NHL.
   
3. Michkov had 3 more years left on his contract with SKA.
   

Demidov, on the other hand, is actively engaging with teams. He’s hosting a workout in Florida before the draft for multiple teams to attend, and is actively having his agent coordinate interviews and meetings with interested front offices. Demidov has publicly declared his intention to come over to the NHL as soon as possible, even venturing so far as to say he’s looking at options for getting out of his KHL contract to get to the NHL for the 24-25 season. Finally, Demidov only has 1 year left on his contract so there isn’t long term concern about losing the ability to develop him internally. An interesting note that we found during analysis was that Demidov’s agent, Dan Milstein, is “hated” in the KHL because of how consistently he pushes for his clients to leave Russia and transition them to the NHL. Even if Demidov is stuck in Russia all of next year, there’s almost zero risk he doesn’t come over.
On Demidov, the other large question that looms is his lack of play in the KHL, and SKA’s decision to play him in the MHL. Despite being the one of the best players in MHL history, Demidov only saw action in 4 KHL games and scored a total of 0 points which has also turned off many scoresheet watchers. Let us reassure you – Demidov was predominantly the 13th forward and played an average of 3-5 minutes per game with unfamiliar linemates. He did not have a chance to play enough to succeed, and built no chemistry with the teammates he was playing with in his limited time. SKA is notorious for handling their prospects poorly. Young players are consistently given limited ice time, especially when they’re expected to leave Russia. Michkov, despite his skill, couldn’t crack the SKA roster in his D-0 or D+1 simply because of this bias. All said, this is not a concern scouts have when it comes to the potential drafting of Demidov.
With the Russia question answered, we believe there is no doubt that Ivan Demidov is the pick to make in the 2024 draft. Ivan Demidov is really really good. He is the complete package for what you look for in a franchise winger. Demidov has excellent hands, dynamic edgework, elite hockey IQ, high end compete and energy, a relentless forecheck, creativity in the offense he provides, solid two way play, and finally rapid speed in terms of release and puck control. There is no one like him in this draft who offers such an elite skillset with no obvious flaws in his game outside of his build. He can also play center when needed which gives him additional offensive flexibility and adds even more dynamism to his game.
While analytics don’t tell the full story, they can often be a useful baseline to build from. The first item we want to call attention to is Byron Bader’s model, which projects Demidov as the best #2OA prospect since Eichel.. Let's again be clear, we don’t put much merit into this due to the low gradings of Carlsson and Laine, but it’s important to contextualize how Bader’s model works. It compares prospects to the league they’re in and projects them out. Demidov dominated the MHL to such a degree that the model favorably views him due to being almost untouched in play, and setting multiple records. Continuing with Hockey Prospecting and Bader, who is an active NHL draft consultant, they project Demidov to be an absolute STUD based on production. No forward who they’ve ever given 99%s to has ever been less than PPG+. Demidov has a very comparable offensive game to Celebrini, and is all but guaranteed to be a star due to his production and skillset. Alanen also projects Demidov to be elite in all 3 zones, and gives him a total RARE grade of 100, due to his next level offense and transition, and above average defensive work despite his assignments. Again, analytics aren’t an end all be all by any means. They’re just an exceptional base to build from when scouts, data scientists and NHL draft consultants unanimously believe a player to be elite. From our research, no prospects with comparable profiles have busted or not succeeded in the NHL.
Whilst reading multiple articles, watching videos on Demidov, and going through tape, we compiled the following scouting report.
Physical Attributes:
Demidov is not very physically imposing, or even one of the most physical players in the draft. He’s expected to show up to the combine around 6ft tall and weighing 170lbs. Admittedly one knock that some scouts have for him is his build and need to bulk up. Thankfully, this is easy to build at the professional level. Nonetheless, Demidov has sturdy base that enables him to dominate around the boards and in front of the net due to his rapid twitch movements and lower body power. Demidov is able to outskate and outwork larger and stronger players by being smart with his legs and driving to the inside consistently when in transition. His remarkable agility and lower-body strength allow him to outmaneuver opponents and maintain possession in tight spaces, or separate for quick attacks or desperation back checking.
Skating:
Demidov's skating is characterized by irregularities; while he exhibits great power on his edges, his transitions suffer due to a wide stance, leading to questionable but explosive pivot work. Despite this, his rapid acceleration and agility enable him to navigate through traffic seamlessly, while his powerful stride generates significant momentum, making him a constant threat in transition. Let’s clear up a misconception; Demidov is not a bad skater. He’s got decent speed, a good handle on body control, power on the inside of his edges and with quick crossovers, etc. His posture and stance need work, but this is something that looks completely fixable at the NHL level. It doesn’t require a rebuild of his skating style, rather a retool that can utilize his edgework as a base. Instead of hunching over at the end of a shift and losing speed and energy, Demidov can rely on quicker small movement cuts on for rapid movement and longer, albeit slower strides while holding himself higher to preserve energy while covering distance. While the 10 and 2 skating that Demidov employs isn’t conventional, it allows him to see a good deal of the ice, and when in close provide breaking speed towards the play. Fixing the reliance on 10 and 2 also offers faster top level skating and easier quick pivoting in a 200ft game, rather than a longer turn. Again, his skating is unorthodox – but it isn’t bad. It’s not mechanically sound, but it can be polished to a high level without a large amount of concern. Because of how unpredictable his skating is now, scouts across the board acknowledge that it potentially even grants an advantage as his body is harder to read.
Scoring Ability:
A natural sniper, Demidov possesses a lethal shot with pinpoint accuracy and a lightning-quick release that catches goaltenders off guard. Whether he's unleashing a blistering wrist shot from the slot or wiring a one-timer on the power play, Demidov consistently finds the back of the net with precision and finesse. One really underrated part of Demidov’s scoring ability comes from the aforementioned elite edgework. Due to how rapidly he can change directions while holding full control over the puck, he can create scoring lanes with almost zero room, and his accuracy is again one of the best we’ve evaluated as amateur scouts in the last few drafts. When there isn’t an immediate opening or shot, Demidov is patient, draws coverage where he wants, and again has no qualms about firing the puck to the net. If there’s one question about his ability to score, it’s his slapshot. He hasn’t had to use it in almost any occasion due to how the offense is structured on SKA 1946, and therefore it’s not as developed as his snap or wrister. This is a relatively minor knock, though. Demidov can take slapshots and find twine without much difficulty, it’s just the least refined part of his goalscoring ability.
Playmaking and Elite Hands:
Demidov has the best hands that we have scouted. Better than McDavid, better than Fantilli, better than Hughes, better than Bedard, better than Michkov, and yes, better than Patrick Kane as a prospect. Yep, that good. Hadi Kalakeche, one of Dobber’s lead scouts says, “…he has THE best handling skill I’ve seen… he’s the closest thing we’ve seen to Pavel Datsyuk since Pavel Datsyuk.” The rapidity of his movement, the purposeful puck placement, the astounding protection rate, and his ability to pull defenders off of him without moving his body is unlike anything we’ve ever seen before. Again, he has the most individual puck skill and innate offensive talent in the draft. These skills with his hands allow him to become an absolutely next level playmaker. Demidov is crafty, and has a history of faking shots to make a pass, or vice versa to help his team. He’s able to create lanes and take advantage of his puck control by having absolutely next level zone entry to set up the offense on a consistent basis. While his decision making needs some work when it comes to choosing the best move, he almost always makes the right one, and is able to think through solutions when there’s no apparent move forward. Whether it’s a drop pass, running the puck up the boards, a regroup, finding a teammate with a perfectly slotted pass, Demidov has no real ceiling. The only question remains is whether these skills will work as well at the next level. All said though, there’s no real debate between scouts that he’ll be a franchise winger.
Creativity and IQ:
Demidov is electrifying, brilliant, dynamic, innovative, transcendent, and any other adjective you want to use. There is no prospect in this draft with Demidov’s offensive upside, including Macklin Celebrini. As mentioned above, Demidov has been compared to Datsyuk: he is stellar at opening up lanes with his body or finding passes, even if they’re banked off the boards. While Bedard is a guy who was expected to shoot first, Demidov is a passer. This works in his favor, though. Demidov certainly doesn’t lack a scoring touch. His positioning and body will tell goalies and defenders he’s planning to pass and he’s able to quickly change direction using his edges to put a shot on net. His ability to think several steps ahead of the play allows him to execute highlight-reel passes and capitalize on scoring opportunities that others on his team might miss, or simply not have the skill to execute. He’s unpredictable because his vision is at such a high level. He’s got a game reminiscent of Jack Hughes and Patrick Kane, and the way he views the game has scouts absolutely over the moon about his pro projection. There really is nothing that Demidov doesn’t have the ability to do – this year in the MHL he took advantage of the strength of competition and tested it out. Demidov tried different reads, different styles, working more heavily down the middle, shooting, playdriving, etc. We’re blown away by the flexibility that he shows across every facet of the game. A really fun quote to mention from Lassi Alanen, EP’s director of Euro scouting is, “I still have like 100+ unused clips of Demidov's play from this season. He must be the most clippable prospect I've ever watched. Something eye-catching happening almost every shift during his second half of the season.” Demidov’s highlight reel isn’t really a “reel” – that’s just how he plays the game on most shifts that he takes.
Physicality and Defensive Awareness:
Demidov's physicality extends well beyond his height, as he isn't afraid to throw his weight (all 170lbs) around and engage in board battles to win possession. His defensive awareness is equally impressive, as he uses his size and reach to disrupt passing lanes and apply pressure on opposing forwards both in the defensive zone and in the neutral zone, showcasing a commitment to playing a complete, two-way game. As briefly mentioned, Demidov doesn’t exclusively play wing – he plays center too. While he’s not going to be Patrice Bergeron he is capable of handling both ends of the ice, and has consistently improved his defensive play throughout the year.
Work Ethic and Engagement:
While almost all prospects “work hard” to play their best on the ice, Demidov does that little bit more. Despite being a winger, he’s consistently one of the first players up and down the ice. He rarely coasts and drifts around but is engaged rather consistently all around the ice. One thing that’s often hard to teach prospects is how to be aggressive and assertive without being risky. Demidov never worries about challenging his opponents, fighting hard board battles, or giving his all to get back into a play after he’s low after driving to the net. This is something that the Blackhawks LOVE in their players, and should hopefully encourage GMKD to pull the trigger, if everything else didn’t sell him. As we see Demidov continue to improve in skating with NHL coaches, this should only give him more energy to expend in the 200ft game, and improve his engagement across plays. He’s an absolute workhorse, and consistently pushes to improve which evidenced by the massive improvement across this season in the MHL. There’s no reason to think this same drive can’t come through on the NHL level.
Areas to Improve and Questions:
With all the hype around Demidov, it’s hard to initially understand why he’s considered a lower end prospect than Celebrini. Digging in, though, it becomes more clear. While Demidov has the higher ceiling, he also has a much lower floor. The number one factor that limits Demidov is his exposure to higher end competition. The MHL is a good league, but Demidov was ready for the KHL last year. Since he wasn’t exposed to higher end competition there is still question on how much of his skillset will translate when playing higher level men’s hockey. There isn’t an expectation of a problem, but when a player lacks that experience, it undoubtedly makes them more challenging to project. Remember, Demidov didn’t really play meaningful KHL minutes when he got 4 games this year. He got 13th forward exposure and didn’t play with the same linemates that he worked with in the pre-season. Nonetheless, he wasn’t perfect. He did see some questionable decisions while trying to adapt to higher competition. There’s little concern that this is an actual issue, but Demidov needs to grow and play against men, even for a few games, before coming to the NHL. Thankfully, he should have the entire season in 2024-2025, and I haven’t read a single scouting report that expects him to have an issue putting up Michkov+ numbers.
The second factor is skating. Demidov is a good skater, but he’s unorthodox at best. While this skating relies heavily on his edgework which gives him amazing playmaking ability, his pivoting, high end speed, position and stride could all use refinement and improvement. While these are all skating mechanics that are easier to fix, skating is NOT a guarantee. If he’s unable to improve his skating with NHL skating coaches, it could limit his upside. He is still expected to be a top line winger, but it could be the difference between 70+ and 100+ points if skating doesn’t develop. Remember, some scouts view his skating as a “hidden” upside in his game, but improving skating not only gives him more offensive flexibility, but also defensively. There’s room for improvement, and it could be an easier lever to correct to see high rewards from.
The third factor is decision making. Demidov is creative to a fault, but just like in art, not every project works out. With such an advanced toolkit, Demidov needs to work with video coaches to better understand which moveset is appropriate in which scenario and when to deploy it. There’s a difference between decision making and IQ. Decision making is hard to fix when a prospect is set in their ways based on playstyle, but if playstyle is more flexible, then there’s much less of a concern. IQ, on the other hand is uncoachable, and Demidov has arguably the best offensive IQ in the draft. There’s no reason to believe that he can’t fix this, but due to being stuck abroad, and potentially even the MHL again next year, it could take him a bit longer to get up to NHL speed.
The final factor is defense. While it seems that every single forward prospect has a knock on their defense, we can qualify Demidov’s specifics a bit more easily. Demidov is a competent defender, and a very good well rounded player, but again decision making plays a factor in the challenge of projecting him here. While players like Celebrini are dominant both ways, Demidov often doesn’t make the right choice when defending – he has a lot of offensive instincts which have him sit higher on the blue, and while he is always engaged on the puck, he needs to be more responsible in coverage rotations. Off the rush, Demidov doesn’t always read the play correctly, and the inconsistency can create shooting lanes for his opponent. Just like Michkov, he can also cheat on plays where he finds himself a bit further away from a play and loses sight of his defensive assignment. He’s extremely energetic and consistently pushes to get back, but working with him on understanding when to cheat will be important for his development as well. We again want to reemphasize that Demidov plays solid defense and a good two way game, especially for a wingecenter. But there’s room for improvement in terms of bridging the gap between him and other recent prospects like Celebrini, Carlsson, and Johnston.
Pro Projection:
While he doesn’t have the skating that Jack Hughes had, he’s still a great projection and comparable. A smaller but nimble player who isn’t afraid to get involved on the rush, around the boards, or in transition. Demidov’s offensive upside is similar as well – like Hughes, the defense isn’t the best, but he’s able to run an entire offense both on the wing and playing center. He’s creative to a fault, has a great set of hands, and the toolkit to be a consistent top 5 player at his position in the NHL. Pro projections are always hard because you can never guarantee how a player will turn out, whether they’re undrafted or a #1OA, but Demidov is truly all but a sure thing. His creativity rivals players like Nikita Kucherov and Mitch Marner in their ability to think ahead of where the play is, his handling rivals Kane and Datysuk, his defensive play is above average for a winger, he has a great shot comparable to players like Matt Tkachuk, and is a bitch to get off the puck. Even when Demidov is literally on the ground, he’s consistently able to hold possession and find a play with no room left. With a toolkit like his, decent size at an estimated 6ft, there should be no reservations that Demidov should succeed at the next level. Most scouts see his floor around 65-70 points, and his ceiling closer to 120. I stand by the Jack Hughes comp I made earlier. While they differ in skating, they play very similar games, and should expect similar success at the next level.
Quotes:

“He’s got the best hands in the draft… and has made more one-on-one skill plays so far this season than almost any prospect I’ve scouted for any draft. He’s also a pretty engaged off-puck player who keeps his feet moving, hunts pucks on the forecheck, and can turn a steal into a game-breaking play in an instant.”
Scott Wheeler, The Athletic
“Demidov is already a game-breaking forward who can move the puck effortlessly and there’s no question he’d be a fantastic partner to some of the best prospects in the NHL today. His production in the MHL is comparable to Patrick Kane’s 2006-07 season with the Ontario Hockey League’s London Knights… Demidov is a bonafide first-line winger who will score tons of goals.”
Dayton Reimer, The Hockey Writers
“In a vacuum he’s the most talented forward this draft class has to offer outside of Celebrini. Demidov possesses many of the same traits Celebrini does, only his track record is against younger, more unproven talent."
Sam Cosentino, Sportsnet
“The talent of Demidov is impossible to deny. His raw skills might be the best in terms of offense in the entire draft. His puckhandling, shot, passing, and even skating makes him a unique hockey player and prospect. There are many great offensive players, but not many quite like Demidov. Especially who will also have a great drive and motor to play a strong 200 foot game… he could easily be a point per game player in the NHL on most teams first line.”
Frederik Frandsen, Last Word on Sports
“At the end of the day, what you get in a player like Ivan Demidov is a generational offensive dynamo with the mind of a master chess player. Each time he gains possession of the biscuit, his ability to think many steps ahead of the opponent, find creative solutions involving his puck handling abilities, as well as creating tremendous execution at creating space with his skating or precisely hitting the net is considered to be up to par at the NHL level.”
Tyler Ballesteros-Willard, Draft Prospects Hockey
“Any forward that has ever had the type of equivalency we’ve seen from Demidov in his pre-draft year and draft year, going back to the ’80s, has turned into a point-per-game-plus superstar over their careers… You need stars to compete and contend in the NHL, and Demidov is almost guaranteed to be that.”
Byron Bader, Hockey Prospecting
“Demidov is the most dynamic, verstatile, and creative [puck] handler we’ve seen come through the draft in recent years. Elements of his on-puck decision-making remain raw, but his upside as a 100-point top-line winger is supported by decent off-puck and defensive engagement and lightning-quick processing of the game. His elite-level of on-puck intelligence and his trifecta of dynamic handling, playmaking, and goalscoring tools give him the foundation to become an electrifying creative force and offensive driver.”
Sebastian High, Dobber
“Demidov breaks defences. He spots a tiny gap in coverage, bursts right through, and blows it open. He plays mostly a finesse game, but does so hyper-aggressively, attacking everything he can. Demidov succeeds at pulling off plays that most prospects can't. He plans, processes, and anticipates faster than he can stickhandle. He's a pure creator with the puck, making plays out of nothing.”
David St. Louis, Elite Prospects
“Demidov is the more dynamic and flashy prospect [Than Michkov].Demidov is the single-most gifted handler in the entire 2024 class. He projects to be the superior one-on-one attacker…someone who can single-handedly create out of thin air. When it comes to passing ability…Demidov’s ability to chain together handling sequences into following passing plays is second to none.”
Lassi Alanen, Elite Prospects
“It’s a no brainer[at #2OA]. It’s Ivan Demidov all day, every day, 24/7. You run to the stage and pick him… if you ask me, Ivan Demidov is better than Matvei Michkov… He’s the only prospect in our rankings who we gave a 10 grade to for a specific ability. It’s not just the handling skill in isolation it’s the creativity. He comes up with solutions no one can expect.. his motor is underrated, puts in work defensively… it’s a no brainer there.”
Hadi Kalakeche, Locked on NHL/Dobber

Our Scouting:
Clip 1:
As we talked about prior, Demidov has a great IQ and the ability to create lanes and plays out of nothing. Demidov pushes up the ice and enters the zone with pressure closing onto the side. He uses his hands to pull in control, but more impressively, puts his body between the defender and the puck. He uses his edgework and breaking speed to push past the defender, then is patient enough to draw 3 defenders towards him, away from his teammate. When he sees the trailing defenseman waiting, he immediately finds a tight pass for a wide open teammate to capitalize.
Clip 2:
There’s a difference between a safe move, and then there’s an insane move. Watch as Demidov comes up on the left side. He sees that the defender is getting desperate and goes for a large poke. Demidov slides the puck under the Dman’s stick and once again shows off his patience. Instead of going for a quick shot he reads that the other defender is slowly coming across the crease to prevent a passing lane. Instead of just shooting like most players, Demidov baits the goalie into thinking he’s going to run into the defenseman, and in that second, puts the puck in the net.
Clip 3:
Small play, but this is just about how slick his passing is. He slides the puck through a very tight lane while baiting the defenseman into sliding due to not knowing where the play is going to be.
Clip 4:
While we can put on nonstop highlights, it’s also important to see how smart Demidov’s game is. Demidov and the other SKA players move the puck around a bit trying to find an opening until they give it to Demidov. Demidov reads an open play and passes the puck down, but instead of immediately following the puck or staying at his spot, Demidov uses his high engagement to instead move to the other side of the net down low to offer accessory support for his teammates on his anticipated cross crease pass, should there have been a rebound.
Clip 5:
Not every highlight is going to be a goal. One really underrated part of Demidov’s game is how well he’s able to read the offense. As he holds high initially, he’s able to help move the puck out in order to reset the offense when the play fails. His motor keeps him in the play and with his excellent edges, he’s able to make a quick pivot after rushing around in order to step up and create an open shooting lane. While his teammate can’t make the pass to get the puck to him, Demidov read where the play WOULD be, not just where it was. Those IQ aspects really can’t be taught, and are part of what makes him so special. By anticipating the open play rather than following the puck, he establishes himself as a play driver by creating options rather just following and executing structure at a high level.
Clip 6:
We're not even going to analyze this one. It’s just fucking fun. Talent oozes.
Clip 7:
This video has a ton of highlights, which I’d definitely recommend watching, but we’re going to focus specifically on the play at 0:45. We can post clips of Demidov scoring goals, finding breakaways, etc. all day long, but when thinking about translation to the NHL, IQ and decision making is what we’re really drying to drill down on. Demidov arrives in the zone through to middle and pushes the initial F1 to the F3 spot and changes the rotation. The puck is dumped to him and the initial F1 leaves a drop pass for Demidov approaching the goal. As soon as Demidov gets the puck, at 0:47, you can see him primed and in a good shooting position. The bigger defender misread the play and has drifted too far towards the center of the ice, leaving Demidov with a nearly unobstructed shooting lane as the netfront defenseman is also too far toward the middle. Instead of taking the shot, he instead waits to draw over the netfront defenseman, and the bigger defenseman closer towards him, leaving his teammate literally untouched across the crease. Demidov trusts his hands and ability with an extremely quick and accurate pass through the stick range of three defenders to find his teammate wide open. His decision making has been progressively improving and his ability to look off the shot to find an elite pass will translate extremely well to the next level.
Clip 8:
Another play where you can just be excited about Demidov. The puck is wrapped up around the boards and the defenseman sitting at the top of the blue just pushes the puck back into the zone without a clear target, or a player who has an explicit opening to the puck. If anything, the puck is put in the middle of all 5 Karpat skaters. Despite starting on the outside, Demidov’s engagement shines through where he uses his edgework to get a rapid explosive burst of speed, and pushes through both defenders in front of him to gain possession. Once he gains possession, his ability to control the puck, and his handles help to demonstrate just how strong of a prospect Demidov is. Even when the defender is falling onto him, Demidov is patient, makes the netfront defender bite to believe he’s going wide, creating a lane (effectively bypassing 3 separate Karpat players) to get to the goalie unobstructed. Then, his hands come out and he absolutely undresses the netminder with moves that the video literally cannot fully capture. He makes highlights like this look routine, every single game.
Clip 9:
Sometimes when you see a play it’s hard to say anything but wow. Demidov leads the rush through the neutral zone and reads the coverage a much less conventional 1-4 scheme. The offensive rush is a bit unconventional as well, but can offer a smart solution. By having 3 attackers, two concentrated up the middle and one wide, it allows for quick movement up the middle, and post defensive collapse onto the puck, a pass to the outside for a clear entry lane and shot. Demidov passes to his teammate directly across the center of the ice as he expects that teammate to immediately get puck to their teammate on the outside as coverage collapses. Demidov gauges where the openings are pre pass, as evidenced by the head movement. Unfortunately, instead of immediately passing again to the outside for an open lane, his teammate runs into pressure, and panics. He passes back to Demidov who is less than 8ft away and will inevitably will run into immediate pressure as well. Somehow, this is no problem for Demidov. He collects the puck with the literal tip of his stick, uses his body push the defender off, and then pulls the puck in while facing the wrong direction to slip past the defender. Despite being placed in a no win situation his hands and creativity shine through and he creates a clean lane to shoot the puck at the net. It’s almost inhuman what he’s able to do with his hands. When he gets to the net, he’s patient, baits the goalie, pulls wide, and then puts in a clean backhand. Some of these highlights are literally awe-inspiring.
Closing Thoughts:
If this scouting report doesn’t get you excited for Demidov, we don’t think anything will. He’s truly the most electric player in the draft with absolutely ridiculous hands, compete, dynamic play, and highlight reel performance. His IQ is next level, and his hands allow him to do truly amazing things with his skillset and competency. Demidov’s vision is absurd; he consistently makes passes to his teammates without looking, or sends a pass before a teammate has a clean break by using anticipation. These RARELY lead to a turnovers and are often not only creative but unorthodox methods to continue to move the puck up ice. Although his skating is unorthodox, he’s explosive, able to create comprehensive offensive maneuvers due to quick transitions, and make off angle passes with ease due to his edgework. He is elite in transition and able to run a breakout, an offense, and play any of the F1/F2/F3 roles when the situation calls for it. Despite his expected size of “only” 6ft 170lbs, Demidov knows how to use his body and hands. He not only protects the puck on offense but can draw defenders away from his teammates in predictable patterns, once again opening up space for him to capitalize. The same goes for defense where he's able to use his positioning to get the edge on his opponents for a rapid takeaway or a box out off the rush.
As we mentioned earlier, Demidov’s game isn’t limited only to offense, he has a decent understanding of the two way game as well. He’s a relentless forechecker, aggressive on the boards, and also always willing to use his high running motor to jump back into a play that leaves the zone, even if he’s right next to the net. Demidov has the most skill and raw talent out of any player in this draft, including Celebrini. Had Demidov not been demoted to the MHL due to SKA’s poor management, there is almost no doubt that he would be considered nearly neck and neck with Celebrini. As it is now, Demidov is ranked #2 on most boards, and the overall #2 in the consolidated ranking. Demidovs don’t come around often; people last year were genuinely considering whether Michkov was at Bedard’s level. Demidov rivals Michkov if not exceeds him.
You can nitpick the analysis we have of any one single aspect of Demidov. Not everyone buys analytics. Not everyone buys playmaking in a lower league. Not everyone likes irregular skating. Not everyone is on board with the MHL stat sheet, our hype etc. etc. We get it. Really, we do. But at the end of the day, when you step back and appreciate the full body of work, the comps, the analytics, the rave scouting reports, unanimous love, models, stat sheets, skill, work ethic, and more that ALL say that this kid is elite, there’s fire beyond the smoke. Demidov is THE guy. There should not be a debate at #2.
For those of you who made it to the end, thanks for reading! Ultimately we know there will be inevitable debate about a prospect, but we appreciate you hearing us out, and at least letting me, u/GoldWhale, spam the sub over the last few weeks in love of Demidov. Whether or not you agree with our analysis, we encourage you to do your own scouting, read from the authors we've included, watch through all the highlights in the linked videos, and draw your own conclusions!
We appreciate everyone in this community, and will try to answer any questions that you may have in the comments. If you so choose, please feel free to crosspost to other subs, edit, or utilize this writeup anywhere you like (forums/blogs/youtube etc.), just link back to our original post! For those in professional media who have contacted us with the hope of utilizing our writeup, feel free, again just link back to the original post as well. Thanks again!

Gangstalking document - Recommended read.
Gangstalking All Overall - Explore the Comprehensive Insights of Gangstalking: This collection covers a range of topics including - Subvocal, Community gang-stalking, Sound & technology, Perspective, social media, Work mobbing, How to navigate gangstalking, Definitions of gangstalking, Broadcasting thoughts in public, Addresses the surrounding issues about gangstalking and different perspectives from other targeted individuals. Such as gangstalker's motivations, How to get better sleep, Variety of ways to protect yourself, raising awareness and etc.
To download Gang-stalking All Overall:
https://docdro.id/90boxBl
"Learn to nitpick your information:
Gang-stalking is a complex issue with a few different varieties. E.g. Military gang-stalking, Community gang-stalking and etc.
Often within community groups, you will see a post/article but soon discovered that they're beliefs are not quite the same as yours - Don't let this stop you, read the article anyway, you might just discover some helpful/interesting information.
If you learn to pick and choose what information, you receive. It might help in the future. All free information is helpful as long as you know what to look for."

Gangstalking document - Recommended read.
Gangstalking All Overall - Explore the Comprehensive Insights of Gangstalking: This collection covers a range of topics including - Subvocal, Community gang-stalking, Sound & technology, Perspective, social media, Work mobbing, How to navigate gangstalking, Definitions of gangstalking, Broadcasting thoughts in public, Addresses the surrounding issues about gangstalking and different perspectives from other targeted individuals. Such as gangstalker's motivations, How to get better sleep, Variety of ways to protect yourself, raising awareness and etc.
To download Gang-stalking All Overall:
https://docdro.id/90boxBl
"Learn to nitpick your information:
Gang-stalking is a complex issue with a few different varieties. E.g. Military gang-stalking, Community gang-stalking and etc.
Often within community groups, you will see a post/article but soon discovered that they're beliefs are not quite the same as yours - Don't let this stop you, read the article anyway, you might just discover some helpful/interesting information.
If you learn to pick and choose what information, you receive. It might help in the future. All free information is helpful as long as you know what to look for."

Gangstalking document - Recommended read.
Gangstalking All Overall - Explore the Comprehensive Insights of Gangstalking: This collection covers a range of topics including - Subvocal, Community gang-stalking, Sound & technology, Perspective, social media, Work mobbing, How to navigate gangstalking, Definitions of gangstalking, Broadcasting thoughts in public, Addresses the surrounding issues about gangstalking and different perspectives from other targeted individuals. Such as gangstalker's motivations, How to get better sleep, Variety of ways to protect yourself, raising awareness and etc.
To download Gang-stalking All Overall:
https://docdro.id/90boxBl
"Learn to nitpick your information:
Gang-stalking is a complex issue with a few different varieties. E.g. Military gang-stalking, Community gang-stalking and etc.
Often within community groups, you will see a post/article but soon discovered that they're beliefs are not quite the same as yours - Don't let this stop you, read the article anyway, you might just discover some helpful/interesting information.
If you learn to pick and choose what information, you receive. It might help in the future. All free information is helpful as long as you know what to look for."

After seeing the 6th form post on here, just gotta make this clear, we aint lying. If you dont manage your time well a levels are going to be hell (especially on top of the step-up in the content difficulty for a level subjects). I wish I listened to the sixth formers when i was in y11 saying to “not waste your frees” or “revise from day one”. Trust me, if you do this you’ll be in a much better position for the y12 mocks and a levels. Also that reminds me, y12 mocks are not like your year 10 end of year exams. They are arguably more important than your GCSEs, as whatever grades you get on them determine the predicted grades which go on your UCAS Applications. And if you don’t have good predicted grades it heavily limits the unis you can apply to. Also one last thing: A-Levels aren’t the only thing you have to focus on, you also have to build up your UCAS application by doing wider reading, extra/supercurriculars, volunteering and work experience for your personal statement. So please, start revising and building up your UCAS application as early as possible, dont underestimate A-Levels because its only 3 subjects, I would do anything to go back to GCSEs.

After tirelessly seeing so many post on what is the best Earbuds under $50, Under $100, $200, $300 etc. What is the best earbuds for this and that. I have decided to hopefully do a comprehensive post to address this. I might not be perfect but feel free to put your responses in the comments. Offer your constructive suggestions. Share your insights and your opinions.
This list came out of my testing and having some of these earbuds personally. Some by much research and review of hundreds of comments from this subreddit as well as helpful articles. I hope someone will find this helpful.
To help you make an informed decision, I have curated this expert-reviewed list from my experience as well as other blogs of the 10 best earbuds for 2024 across various categories and budgets. See references below if you wish to research more.

The 10 Best Wireless Earbuds for iPhone and Androids

Most of the can be purchase on https://amazon.com for a great price.

1. Technics AZ80 - Best Earbuds for Music and Sound Quality

https://electricfieldsfestival.com/technics-az80-wireless-earbuds-review/
Key Features:

• Audiophile-grade sound with LDAC support
• Effective hybrid noise cancellation
• Multipoint connectivity and long battery life
• Premium build quality

For discerning audiophiles who prioritize sound quality above all else, the Technics AZ80 are a standout choice. These premium earbuds leverage advanced audio technologies like LDAC and CCAW drivers to deliver an immersive, high-fidelity listening experience. Combine that with capable hybrid noise cancellation, multipoint connectivity, and long battery life, and you have a compelling all-around package for audio enthusiasts. The premium build quality also ensures long-lasting durability. Around $300
Pros:

• Exceptional sound quality and audio codecs
• Effective hybrid noise cancellation
• Multipoint connectivity and long battery
• Premium durable build
• Quality Build and High End Feel

Cons:

• Expensive
• Design may not suit all ears

2. Jabra Elite 10 - Best Earbuds for Ultimate sound & comfort

https://www.digitalreviews.net/reviews/audio/jabra-elite-10-comes-with-a-cherry-on-top/
Key Features:

• Well-balanced sound quality
• Great call quality and noise cancellation
• Comfortable fit and long battery life
• Multipoint connectivity and wireless charging

If you want a versatile pair of earbuds that excel in all areas, the Jabra Elite 10 are hard to beat. They deliver a compelling mix of good sound, impressive call quality, effective noise cancellation, and all-day comfort, making them ideal for work, travel, and workouts. With multipoint connectivity, wireless charging, and a durable water-resistant build, the Elite 10 check all the boxes for an all-around great pick. Around $250
Pros:

• Balanced performance across the board
• Excellent for calls and video meetings
• Comfortable secure fit
• Long battery life and wireless charging

Cons:

• Sound quality not as refined as premium options
• No auto-pause/play sensor

3. Sony WF-1000XM5 - Best Earbuds for Phone Calls

https://www.rtings.com/headphones/reviews/best/wireless-earbuds
Key Features:

• Excellent noise cancellation
• Improved sound quality over XM4
• Comfortable new compact design
• Long battery life and quick charging

The Sony WF-1000XM5 are the complete package, delivering top-notch noise cancellation, superb sound quality, and a host of useful features in a sleek, comfortable design. These earbuds outshine their predecessor with better audio performance, a more compact and lightweight build, and longer battery life. Sony's industry-leading noise cancellation effectively silences ambient noise, while the new Integrated Processor V1 and premium drivers produce rich, detailed audio across genres. You also get handy features like multipoint connectivity, speak-to-chat, and quick charging. Around $300
Source:
Pros:

• Best-in-class noise cancellation
• Excellent sound quality
• Compact and comfortable fit
• Long battery life with quick charging

Cons:

• Expensive
• Touch controls can be finicky

4. Bose QuietComfort Ultra - Best Noise Cancellation Earbuds

https://electricfieldsfestival.com/bose-quietcomfort-ultra-earbuds-review/
Key Features:

• Industry-leading noise cancellation performance
• Aware mode for environmental awareness
• Secure and comfortable fit
• Impressive battery life

When it comes to blocking out ambient noise, few earbuds can match the Bose QuietComfort Ultra. Bose's proprietary noise cancellation technology is simply unrivaled, effectively hushing even the loudest external sounds. The QuietComfort Ultra also boast a comfortable, secure fit ideal for travel, an aware mode for situational awareness, and stellar battery life up to 24 hours. While not the best for audio quality, noise cancellation is their forte. Around $300
Pros:

• Unbeatable noise cancellation
• Comfortable secure fit
• Impressive 24-hour battery life
• Aware mode for environmental awareness

Cons:

• Average sound quality for the price
• No multipoint connectivity

5. Beats Fit Pro - Best Earbuds for Running and Active Sports

https://gocrazyfitness.com/beats-fit-pro-review/
Key Features:

• Secure-fitting wingtip design
• Sweat and water-resistant build (IPX4)
• Good sound quality with punchy bass
• Apple H1 chip and Android support

With their secure-fitting wingtip design and IPX4 watesweat resistance, the Beats Fit Pro are purpose-built for intense workout sessions. The flexible, locked-in fit ensures they stay put even during vigorous exercise. Despite the sporty focus, the Fit Pro still deliver enjoyable sound quality with an energetic, bass-forward profile. They also support iOS/Android devices via the H1 chip and have decent noise cancellation. Around $150
Pros:

• Secure, locked-in fit for workouts
• Sweat/water resistant build
• Fun sound with punchy bass
• Support for iOS/Android devices

Cons:

• Average noise cancellation
• Bass can overpower mids/highs

6. Apple AirPods Pro 2 - Best for Iphone and Music

https://www.cnn.com/cnn-underscored/reviews/best-true-wireless-earbuds
Key Features:

• Seamless iOS integration and controls
• Good active noise cancellation
• Decent sound quality with spatial audio
• IPX4 water resistance

For iPhone users who want a no-fuss earbud experience, the AirPods Pro 2 are a natural choice. The H2 chip provides seamless pairing, device switching, hands-free Siri access, and spatial audio on compatible Apple devices.While not class-leading, the AirPods Pro 2 offer good active noise cancellation, IPX4 water resistance, and sound quality that's decent if not exceptional. The downside is a slightly nasal sonic signature. Around $190
Pros:

• Seamless iOS integration and controls
• Good active noise cancellation
• IPX4 water resistance
• Spatial audio with Dolby Atmos

Cons:

• Nasal, bright sound signature
• Average battery life

7. Sennheiser Momentum True Wireless 4 - Best Premium Sound Quality and Music

https://headmania.org/2024/03/06/sennheiser-momentum-true-wireless-4-earbuds-review/
Key Features:

• Audiophile-grade sound quality
• Good active noise cancellation
• Sleek premium design and build
• All-day battery life and wireless charging

Rounding out the list are the Sennheiser Momentum True Wireless 4 , premium earbuds designed for discerning audiophiles. They leverage Sennheiser's audio expertise to deliver rich, engaging sound that edges out most competitors. You also get good active noise cancellation, a sleek premium design, all-day battery life with wireless charging, and a comprehensive app with EQ customization. The only drawback is their high-end price tag. Still great but the Technics and Sony are a bit better than it. Around $300
Pros:

• Exceptional sound quality tuned for audiophiles
• Good active noise cancellation
• Premium design and durable build
• All-day battery with wireless charging

Cons:

• Very expensive
• Touch controls can be finicky

8. EarFun Air Pro 3 - Best Budget Hi-Res Audio

https://www.myearfun.com/eu/headphones/earfun-air-pro-3-le-audio-anc-true-wireless-earbuds-black
Key Features:

• Hi-res audio with LDAC codec support
• Hybrid active noise cancellation
• Long 80-hour total battery life
• Affordable price point

For audiophiles on a budget, the EarFun Air Pro 3 punch well above their weight, offering hi-res audio with LDAC codec support and hybrid active noise cancellation at a very reasonable price point. While they can't match premium models in overall sound quality, the Air Pro 3 deliver an engaging listening experience with good detail and soundstage. The 80-hour total battery life is also impressive in this price range. Around $80
Pros:

• Hi-res audio with LDAC support
• Hybrid active noise cancellation
• Incredible 80-hour battery life
• Very affordable

Cons:

• Sound quality still below premium tier
• Noise cancellation could be better

9. Anker Soundcore Space A40 - Best Budget Pick Under $100

https://www.mobiletechtalk.co.uk/reviews/soundcore-space-a40-review/
Key Features:

• Good sound quality for the price
• Decent active noise cancellation
• Customizable EQ and ambient aware mode
• Affordable sub-$100 price

If you're looking for a capable budget pair of earbuds under $100, the Anker Soundcore Space A40 are an excellent value pick. They punch above their weight class with good overall sound quality, customizable EQ, decent active noise cancellation, and an ambient aware mode. While they can't compete with premium models, the Space A40 get most things right for the price, making them a smart choice for those on a tight budget. Around $60
Pros:

• Good sound quality for the price
• Decent active noise cancellation
• Customizable EQ and ambient mode
• Very affordable sub-$100 price

Cons:

• Noise cancellation not on par with premium buds
• Average call quality

10. Tozo NC9 Earbuds - Best Value and Budget Friendly

https://www.headphonesty.com/2020/12/review-tozo-nc9/
Key Features:

• Hybrid active noise cancellation
• Balanced sound tuning with good clarity
• Bluetooth 5.3 connectivity
• Around 6 hours battery life with ANC (24 hours with charging case)
• IPX6 watesweat resistance

The Tozo NC9 are affordable true wireless earbuds that deliver impressive value with their hybrid active noise cancellation and balanced sound quality. They feature Bluetooth 5.3 connectivity, decent battery life, and IPX6 water resistance in a secure-fitting ergonomic design. While the ANC can't match premium models, the NC9 punch above their weight for the ultra-budget price point. Around $40
Pros:

• Great sound quality for the price
• Effective hybrid active noise cancellation
• Good mic clarity for calls
• Secure, comfortable fit
• Very Affordable Under $50

Cons:

• ANC not as powerful as premium models
• Average 6-hour battery life with ANC

Some Notable Mentions:

1. Google Pixel Buds Pro - Noise Canceling Earbuds - Up to 31 Hour Battery Life with Charging Case - Bluetooth Headphones
   
2. SAMSUNG Galaxy Buds 2 Pro True Wireless Bluetooth Earbuds
   
3. SHOKZ OpenFit - Open-Ear True Wireless Earbuds for Sports
   

There you have it - my-curated list of the 10 best earbuds across various categories. I hope this list helps somebody and save you a lot of time researching or reading hundreds of blog posts like I did.
If you ask for my Option. Go with the Technics AZ80 Or the Jabra Elite 10 for the Best of the Overall Sound and experience.
best wireless earbuds 2024, top noise cancelling earbuds, earbuds with great sound quality, workout earbuds, budget earbuds
Sources and References that I used in my Research:
https://electricfieldsfestival.com/
https://www.cnn.com/cnn-underscored/reviews/best-true-wireless-earbuds
https://www.techradar.com/news/audio/best-in-ear-headphones-1276925
https://www.engadget.com/best-wireless-earbuds-120058222.html
https://www.rtings.com/headphones/reviews/best/wireless-earbuds
https://www.myearfun.com/
https://www.headphonesty.com
https://www.digitalreviews.net

I 21F, live with my mother, 2 sisters and 1 brother. My sister M22 has a friend K22 who lives with us. They have known each other since 6th grade and have been connected at the hip since then. In the beginning I did not like her at all, she was very annoying, and things had to be done her way. She also can't take 'no' for an answer. Over the years I've learned to tolerate her a little bit but now she has pushed me over the edge.
K just moved out of the house her, and her dad lived in because their lease ended. They moved in with her dad's friend G and they will live their until they find another house to rent. My mom and sister came up with the idea to make my brothers old room into a bedroom for her so she could stay whenever she didn't want to be at her house. Which is very nice and a lot of people wouldn't do that. My mother and sister didn't ask anyone if that would be alright, which I know it is my mother's house, but nobody told me that, that was the plan. I also still can't stand her at all. Mind: she goes home for 1 day and then comes right back and will stay for a few weeks straight.
I have always had issues with K because she is always here, in our business and just won't stop. When she is over (which is everyday at this point) she has to do HER stuff and I can't do mine. I clean the house, because I don't work rn so I clean the house daily and do a deep clean to 1. keep up with the daily chores and 2. just because I'm living here rent free and it's the bare minimun. While I clean I love listening to music, as of rn I've been listening to Christmas music because it's my favorite time of year and it just makes me feel better so I've been listening to it a lot recently to try and distract myself from everything that is going on in my life. I got an Alexa and I listen to music on that, it's never above level 5 volume, it's just background noise. K will come in whatever room and turn it off, I told her not too and she said she doesn't want to listen to it, and I told her that it's my Alexa don't mess with it and if she doesn't like it listen to her own music with her airpods or go into a different room, or I can put my music back on and just change the station and she said to change the station. I changed to Pop music and I was in the middle of sweeping in the other room and it turned off, I went into the room where my Alexa was and checked to see what happened and saw that it was unplugged. K was in the room right next to it and I asked her what happened, she said that she unplugged it because she was tired of it. I told her "I asked you not to touch it" she said it doesn't matter and that she doesn't want to listen to my music.
I have airpods but I can't find them rn, so I can't listen to music on my phone without it being outloud. She continues to turn off my music no matter what I am doing, and it pisses me off. This isn't the only thing she does though.
K also can't take 'no' for an answer, she will beg you until you get so pissed off that you give in just so she will shut her big mouth. I bought my own groceries this past few weeks using my birthday money and in our house we have a rule: if you buy it , it's yours just let other people know that it is yours. We have stickers that we put on tupperware and other food items if a certain person bought it and doesn't want others in it. I placed these stickers on everything I bought and I let the others know that I bought stuff at the store and that I put the stickers on it and to please not touch it. K came into the living room the other day and asked if this pack of lunch meat was mine eventhough the stick on the very front where you can't miss it has my name on it and "PLEASE DON'T TOUCH" written. I told her yes that it was mine and she asked if she could have it and I said 'no' there's lunch meat outside that she can have. She rolled her eyes and put it back in the fridge. I went to my room for a little bit after that and I got hungry and went to make my lunch and in the fridge was my open container of lunch meat that I told her not to touch, I just got that at the store and haven't opened it yet. My sister and K were in the living room with empty plates next to them and I asked them why my lunch meat was open, and K said that they were hungry and made sandwiches. With the lunch meat I bought. I asked them why after I told her not to eat it and just not touch it because it was mine and her excuse was, I like turkey and your mom bought ham, so I used yours instead because I like it better. My sister then said, "it's not a big deal, it's just a few slices of lunch meat it's fine" It is a big deal to me because they overstepped a boundary again.
Another thing that happened just yesterday, I was making cookies and I have learned to not bake the whole batch while K is over, she will eat the entire thing before anyone else gets to have one. So I made 6 cookies and while I was making them she had to be in the kitchen and ask a million questions, “what are you making” “what kind of cookies are you making” “when will they be done” “how long do they have to bake” etc. When I bake and cook I have to be the only one in the kitchen because I will get very overwhelmed. The kitchen is small and having more than 1 person in there at a time is exhausting. K had to be right on top of me while I was doing it, I wasn’t teaching her anything so there was no reason for her to be over my shoulder the entire time. When I finished the dough I had to keep it in the fridge overnight and she got upset because she wanted a cookie now. Which I understand because I love cookies too but there is no reason to get upset over having to wait 14 hrs for cookie dough to chill in the fridge.
Today I finally baked them and she freaked out because I was baking them finally and she really wanted one. She was confused as to why I only make 6 cookies instead of the whole batch which makes 36 cookies. I just told her that I’m just making enough for everyone to have 1 rn. My real reason is because every time she is over and we have anything I baked it will be gone in a few hours. The other day a family friend that I bake with often made ME brownies and yes she said that they were for me mainly but to share. I didn’t even get 1 bite of a brownie because K ate most and when I asked where they went they said they were gone and I asked who ate them K sad she had the last one. I told her that I didn’t get one and our friend made them mainly for me and she said “snooze you loose”
I finished making the cookies and I went to my room to let them cool, while in my room K texted me and asked “will u hurt me if I have a cookie?” I responded “no, u can have 1 cookie only, there are 6. That’s 1 for everyone, so only eat 1 cookie” she left me on read. I came back out about 30 minutes later to put them in a Tupperware and they were gone! Completely gone 6 cookies gone in 30 minutes. I asked my sister and K where they went and they were eating a cookie as I walked in the living room. I asked how many cookies they had and they looked at each other and smiled trying to contain their laughter. I knew in that moment that they ate all 6 cookies and had no shame. I asked her about the text message and whether or not she comphrend it or if it just went right over her head. She said they were really good and wanted another. Idc if she wanted another she couldn’t take my answer, I set a boundary with her again and she overstepped again. My sister and K laughed because I got upset about 6 cookies but I’m not upset about the cookies. I’m upset because the boundaries I set have been violated again and again and Idk what to do about it. I decided to keep my mouth shut because I 100% believe in if you don’t have anything nice to say don’t say anything at all” I that moment there was nothing nice to say. As I walked out, K said you can make more cookies now, use the rest of the dough” I just walked back to my room and stayed there until my mom came home.
When my mom came home I told her about what happened and I asked her if K could leave and she said no because our house is her house and she needs to feel welcomed here. My mom and I got into a small argument about that because I brought up that her saying that made me feel like my mom doesn’t care about my feelings when it comes to this. K is overstepping my boundaries and M is letting her and helping her do so and nothing is being done about it I just have to take it and my mom told me that I’m blowing all out of proportion and to relax and forget about it.
I’m not going to forget about it, I’m going to remember this 10 years down the line when you want to come back into my life after I go no contact with all of them. I rarely feel safe in the house and I just want my own space. I don’t have a job so I don’t have an income to start saving up and move out. I just want K to leave, I haven’t had a break since she started living here.
AITAH?

There is a specific book that I read in middle school some time between 2005 and 2008, and I could be mixing up two books, but what I remember from it is a scene where the girls mother is washing their money because she’s afraid of germs. Another scene (which could be a totally different book) is one where the girl finds out her friends go to the nurse when they have their monthly and get a free soda because their “stomach is hot” so she does the same thing (even though she’s never had her monthly). She does it again a week later and the nurse catches on. That’s all I remember from the book/books, and I don’t even remember who the author is. I feel like the book was probably published before I was in middle school, and I’m like 98% sure I read it either 6th grade (so around 2006) or in eighth grade (so around 2008). If anyone has any ideas whatsoever, pleeease let me know. Thanks in advance.

Idk if this is the right place for this (since I only see diagnosis for physical conditions) but I guess it's better to try than do nothing (I had originally posted this in the ADHD subreddit but turns out it's against the rules).
So, for the past 2 years I've been wondering if I maybe have ADHD. I resonate with a lot of experiences that people that do have ADHD describe, but I ofc don't want to self diagnose.
So, for most of my life (probably until I was like 13) I never paid attention to a thing in school. All I could do was go to school and get lost in my thoughts/day dream. In hindsight, Idk if back then it was just bc I thought school was useless, or if it was my inability to pay attention. But anyway, that wasn't really a big deal.
Fast forward to 10th grade when my studies actually mattered, I realized that I kept getting distracted and my efficiency was so low. I could be sitting there for 10 whole hours and only read through 10 pages the entire day (and I'm not even exaggerating). A lot of times, I could THINK about doing something. Even if I really really want to do it, I just CAN'T do it. And before I know it the entire day has passed. It stresses me out that I'm not doing it but I'm still unable to do it and I feel like in the past few months I've insanely become addicted to mindlessly scrolling through the internet ( esp instagram ) Like that's literally the only thing I'm able to do. Literally, my entire school year was me having to do something -> being unable to do it -> the entire day is over and i haven't done anything. (It's been like this for the past 5 years)
The thing is, this is mostly for things I don't want to do - so is it just that I have trouble motivating myself? Like, it's not as extreme for things I don't have negative feelings associated with. I still am not as efficient as a person should be but it isn't as bad. I feel like this is affecting all aspects of my life - just bc I'm focused on a few things that im unable to do, i engage in mindless scrolling etc and because of that I can't even enjoy things that I actually want to do.
Also, I've always been horrible at time management. Ever since I was a child. I can't do anything until the last minute and im probably late to every single thing. I'm literally EXACTLY on time or late. Like, I've been taking the bus to school since 4th grade and I"m in 12th now and despite my parents getting pissed at me for it, I literally can't get to the bus until the last minute (or until i'm like 2 mins late). I don't understand how this hasn't changed in 8 years.
Another thing is that my parents would probably describe me as a very forgetful person. That's basically been my identity in their eyes for all my life. Like forgetful/always day dreaming, etc
Also, I would say that I'm pretty unhappy in my life. Idk if that's a symptom or something or just a result of me being frustrated with being unable to function like a normal human being idk
OHOHOH I almost missed this out - I also resonate with a lot of ADHD SAT test takers. So, the SAT english module requires us to read dense texts and answer questions regarding them and I initially just couldn't CONCENTRATE on those passages yk. I just couldn't register it in my head and stuff. It's been a while since i took the test so it's hard for me to describe my experience but ik at the time I took it I felt like something was wrong. I ended up doing well on it tho ( got a 770) but I was literally the only test taker in 100+ who had to use a paper to jot down points to properly focus on the passages
Anyway, should I get it diagnosed? Am I totally fine and just making shit up? Is this not how ADHD manifests? idk y'all tell me

When I was three years old I was in a really bad car accident. I didn't know it at the time, but that singular event would come to define everything about my life moving forward. What I remember about the accident is mostly a collage of backdated comments I was able to reel out of my father in the following years. He was driving me and my mom in his old '91 Chevy Tahoe through the twisting backroads of Southern Illinois, weaving his way through the gnarled branches of oak trees which interlocked into a braided ceiling overhead. A fog had rolled in, giving the impression that we were driving through a cloudy tube. Everything was simultaneously bright and opaque. I didn't mind though, as I was in the back seat working on a coloring book. My mom was in the front, talking with my dad or turning around to entertain my completed pictures.
Although I was of the age where my memory was just beginning to mature, I still recall two things very clearly from the accident. First was the sensation of breaking. I remember feeling the way a plate must feel to be dropped: weightless at first, then suddenly meeting a much larger, more solid object—the air popped like a firecracker, and the entirety of my body shattered into hundreds of fractals. And then I remember a hand. It was my dad's hand pulling me from the wreck.
I ended up hospitalized for weeks after the crash. My mom was less lucky. The impact had killed her instantly.
As I've alluded to, I was young, and at the time I didn't fully understand the implications of what had happened. I knew something was missing, but it was like a word on the tip of my tongue, or the forgotten vanilla in a cherished cake recipe—coloring my experience, but not the whole of it. Not like my dad. For him, it was the whole fucking cake. He had somehow made it out with only a few scratches. I'm sure he had a really bad case of survivor's guilt, and frankly, looking back, I wouldn't have blamed him if he slumped into despair and spent his days drinking away his sorrow. But he wasn't that type of man. He got help. It took him years before he was able to recall anything that happened that morning, and most of it is still repressed, but he shared with me what he could. Or at least that's what I had thought.
My dad was a Middle School teacher since before I was born, and he kept his job until very recently. As a result, we didn't have much by way of resources. I grew up on Disney Channel and TV dinners for the most part, but I didn't mind. When I became of school age, his job actually made caring for me pretty convenient. Since our Elementary and Middle schools were connected, he was able to drive me there and back each day.
It was around third or fourth grade that I realized I was different. I didn't understand the other children or even the adults most of the time. They would say things then immediately change their mind, or they would talk about something and in the next breath forget its existence entirely. I remember one day at lunch, I had just gotten my tray of hot food and sat down with some friends. One of the kids, Alex, was talking about a stuffed bird he had won for getting first place in Mr. Curtis's pop-up math competition. We were all admiring its blue wings and white belly and sharp black beak and beady eyes. I left mid-conversation to get a chocolate milk. When I came back, I asked to see the bird again, and Alex said "what bird?" I was perplexed. "The bird—the bluejay you were just showing us." I remember all of the other kids looking at me like I was crazy. I figured they were all playing a trick on me, so I got up and went over to Alex's seat and crouched down, looking under the table, then I sprung up and tried to open his lunchbox. "What are you doing!?" he yelled. I felt so confused and embarrassed that I ran to the bathroom to cry.
And then there was another time a group of kids were laughing about a joke one of the girls, Taylor, had made about our homeroom teacher's face looking like a seal. I knew it was mean, but at the time I just wanted to fit in so I played along, but when I made a comment about her resemblance to the semi-aquatic animal, they all looked at me confused. "What are you talking about? We never said that…"
These misattributions kept happening, and it led to me being ostracized from most of the little childish cliques that popped up. I developed a quasi-standoffish temperament which I used as a shield against a chaotic world that I didn't understand. My dad eventually had me tested for ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder), but I passed the test. He asked if I wanted to move to a different town with different schoolmates, thinking that perhaps I was getting bullied, but I told him it was fine. Somewhere deep down I felt like no matter where I went, this problem would follow me.
You may think that I was simply coping with the absence of my mom, and while I'm sure that her absence has left certain holes in my life, kindly, no, that wasn't what was happening. You see, at first I didn't notice the instances of what I'll call "blinking". I simply thought that I was misremembering things: objects, words, events. They were all little things anyway. A bird, a joke, my pencil box. It wasn't until sixth grade that I realized the magnitude of the phenomenon.
I was in my dad's 6th grade Social Studies class and we had just been assigned our "Ancient Civilizations" project which involved creating a diorama of our chosen civilization and presenting its features to the class. My friend at the time, Claire, had taken my first choice of Ancient Rome (which we had a heated argument about at lunch), so I was left with Ancient Egypt. At the time, all I pictured for Egypt was a plate of sand. However, my dad and I went through some illustrated history books and pictures on the internet and he really built up the project for me.
Over the course of a couple months, he helped me shape three pyramids out of small wooden planks and a bunch of tan clay. We placed them in the center of a giant square shoebox lid which served as the container for the diorama. Then he bought some small wooden mannequin puppets and we dressed them up in cloth clothes (mostly kilts and tunics) and colored their eyes, mouths, and hair. We added a few obelisks and some small box-huts which were collected into a little village around the Nile. Finally, we added a light glaze of glue where we felt would be necessary and then covered the whole project with golden glitter.
As we worked on each part of the diorama, my dad helped me understand what we were adding and why it was important to Ancient Egypt. I loved the way he talked about history. He spun everything into a miraculous story. To this day, I don't think I've ever had a teacher who came close to his level of charisma and creativity. As a result, I became really proud of my diorama. I memorized all the little details and rehearsed my speech in front of the mirror for hours leading up to the last couple weeks of class. And then, two days before I was supposed to give my presentation, everything fell apart.
First, I need to apologize for deceiving you about an aspect of my story. I thought it might help you to understand what I was going through at the time. What I'm about to tell you is going to sound insane. I get that. But please hear me out. The truth is that I was never assigned to present on Ancient Egypt; everything else about Clair taking my first pick and dad helping me with the whole project and my excitement leading up to the presentation was all true, but it wasn't a project on Ancient Egypt, it was a project on Ancient Sidovan, which was a civilization located on the eighth continent called "Catalan" (the same name as the spoken language, but unrelated) which was due West of Australia in the Indian Ocean.
I know this sounds incredible, and if you want to believe it's all in my head, I get that, but I remember clearly all sorts of facts about it: the Malagasy, the same people who populated Madagascar, were the first peoples to discover Catalan and settle it. However, about five hundred years later, Indian ships would arrive and create the civilization known as Sidovan. A pidgin language formed between the indigenous population and new arriving Indians called "Hiesa" (pronounced: Hai-E-suh or Hai-ʔ-suh). Catalan had a warm climate with plenty of natural resources, but Sidovan had a dense enough population to require agricultural production. They grew rice, grain, sugarcane, vegetables, and even tobacco.
I remembered all of these facts and more. My diorama reflected the main features of the Sidovan civilization. And then two days before my presentation, I woke up and my diorama was entirely different. The hilly grasslands were traded out for sandy dunes. The Hindu statues and stone palaces became clay pyramids and large spear-like pillars. And everything was covered with the ickiest yellow glitter I had ever seen. Tears stung my eyes as I trampled over to my dad's room and banged on his door. "Dad! What did you do!?" I yelled.
"Honey?" He responded, rushing over to the base of the stairs. "What's wrong?"
"The diorama. It's ruined!"
"It's what?" he asked and ran up the stairs, leading me to my room. He looked over it for a few seconds, checking to see if everything was intact, then said, "I don't see it, honey. Where is it ruined?"
I was completely dumb-struck. What did he mean he didn't see it? "All of it!" I shouted. "The whole thing is wrong. Where's the grass and the stone buildings and the lady with the four arms and the elephants? Where is my project!?"
My dad looked at me in silence. "Lauren, baby, what civilization do you think you were working on?"
"Ancient Sidovan, of course! We've been working on this for months now! Dad, please tell me you remember."
He knelt down and put his hands on my shoulders. "Honey, your project was on Ancient Egypt. There is no Ancient Sidovan."
"Y-you're lying." I protested. "Books, you have books. On your bookshelf."
He took me into his study and showed me all of his books. None of them were on Ancient Sidovan. He even turned on his computer and typed in the name of the civilization, but all that came up was a near match "Sidon". I remember feeling the sudden urge to puke. My entire body felt like it was pumping battery acid instead of blood. "I—I don't," I started but suddenly my head felt very light, and I fainted.
When I woke up, I was in the hospital. I had lost consciousness for over half an hour, enough time for my dad to call 9-1-1 and have the ambulance transport me to the nearest ER. They ran all sorts of tests on me, but they all came back fine. After a couple hours of IV fluids and monitoring, they released me with my dad.
I ended up skipping the rest of school that week. My dad didn't make me present my diorama. In fact, he never brought the subject up again. Part of me was glad. I just wanted to forget the whole thing ever happened. But another part of me couldn't move past what was clearly the most absurd thing to ever happen to me. About a week after the incident, I tried to broach the subject, but when I asked my dad about it, he didn't seem to remember our conversation at all. He said I had fallen ill and that's why I needed to go to the ER and miss class. I felt like I was going crazy. If I was older, I probably would have voluntarily checked myself into a psychiatric ward. But I was young and helpless and alone, and I decided that if I just ignored the changes well enough, I could still get along. This proved difficult though, as the blinking would only exacerbate in the coming months.
Up until the time of the project, I hadn't been able to directly observe the phenomenon. It was always in retrospect that things disappeared. It was during the summer after sixth grade that this changed. I still remember the first time it happened. I had just gotten out of the shower and was drying my hair in front of the mirror. After it was dried, I threw on my clothes then went to tie my hair up in a ponytail, but as I went to set the elastic tie, I felt its weight dissipate in my hand. I gasped and held my hand out. The circular black band was gone.
Fast forward to seventh grade and the blinking had spiraled out of control. Reflecting back on it, most people would probably have assumed I was drinking psilocybin-infused water, as the delusions were somewhat consistent with psychedelic phenomena: except these distortions were real (at least they felt that way to me).
I'd wake up and grab the box of Special K but end up eating Cheerios. The McDonalds logo would look yellow and red one day, but purple and black the next. I'd be watching a show, and then a different show, and then a different one. It was as if the entire universe was a Christmas tree with millions of lights, and the lights kept shifting hues randomly, faster and faster, and I was the only one who could see their changing colors. I remember one night my dad made spaghetti for dinner and we went out onto the porch to eat it. While we were sitting, I saw our neighbor's house, a two story townhome, blink and become a single story bungalow. I gasped, and my dad asked what was wrong, but when I tried to explain he just gave me a strange look. For him, no matter what changed, the world was "always that way". While for me, it didn't have "a way".
The situation peaked when Clair, that friend I mentioned before, disappeared. I texted her (my dad had bought me a BlackBerry at the beginning of summer break) but didn't get a response. When I asked her other friends if they knew where she was, I got the usual "what are you talking about?" look. I knew right away what had happened, even though I didn't want to believe it. I went to the teacher and asked if there was a Clair in our class. She said "no". I broke down in front of everyone. I couldn't take it anymore. I ran out of school. The lady at the front desk tried to stop me, but I just barrelled past her. I kept running until I got to a big park across the street and bawled my eyes out until the police arrived and escorted me home. When they tried asking me what was wrong, I didn't say anything. There was literally nothing I could say that they would understand.
That night I prayed to God for the first time. My dad wasn't a religious man. He went to Catholic church with my mom when she was alive, but after she died he never went back. Still, I knew how to pray, even if I never did it. I copied some of the people I saw praying in movies and interlocked my fingers and knelt down on my bed, stuffing my head into a pillow. "Dear God," I said, "Please, please, please help me." I told Him about my struggles and asked Him to make them stop. I spent an hour saying the same things over and over again. And when I was finished, my little body was so tired, I fell right to sleep.
I knew something was different the second I opened my eyelids. I didn't only feel relieved, but I felt… embraced. I felt like someone was watching over me. I felt like I wasn't alone. I moved through my day with cautious apprehension. I didn't want to get my hopes up only to be let down. But to my surprise, the blinking had stopped. At least I couldn't remember any of the inconsistencies, and to me, that was a win. I began to pray regularly, and the more I did, the more I could feel the sense that someone was looking out for me. It was like I was getting a big hug from some cosmic force that loved me and wanted me to be happy.
I made it a habit to pray regularly. I asked my dad if he could take me to a church, and he agreed to take me to St. Mark's, the same church that he and my mom used to attend. Over time, I realized that the actual church services weren't as important to me as the praying. For whatever reason, there was something about praying that was like a glue for my brain, holding the entire universe together. As I got older, I considered that maybe it wasn't that the changes were no longer happening, but that I simply didn't see them anymore. In other words, maybe I was just becoming like everyone else. Either way, I didn't mind.
In my teenage years, I got into mindfulness meditation. I thought that I'd want to go into religious studies and become a theologian, so I started to learn about Eastern traditions in addition to Christianity. I joined a bunch of different school clubs to meet kids of different faiths: Judaism, Hinduism, Buddhism, Islam. I tried to find a common thread which linked them all and would explain what happened to me as a child. The metaphors of Heaven and Hell, Good and Evil, the Taoist Yin and Yang—duality. Every religion seemed to speak about a way of being that would lead to a better place. In some cases that better place was a physical future existence, and in others it was merely being in contact with the perfection of nature or the present. Metaphorically, the teachings could explain what I had gone through in a kind of loose way, but there were no explicit statements about my condition.
***
I want to fast forward to why I've decided to write about this now. To give you an idea of where I'm at, I'm now 25 and working on finishing my MA in Computational Linguistics. I know that's a bit of a switch from what I was thinking when I was a teenager, but I really only interested in religion because of the value praying afforded me as a child. I didn't actually have much interest in the subject, itself. After my first year of college, I changed to an English major, which ultimately led to me taking a linguistics class and enjoying it so much that I switched tracks in my Junior year. Considering the state of the world, I thought minoring in Computer Science might help me financially in the future, so I ended up charting a path which I figured might lead to something like developing translation software.
Anyway, everything was going fine until a few weeks ago. I was out at an all-night diner with a few of my friends from the program. There was Jeremy, Martin, Bella, Jordan, and Macy. We had been working on a group project together involving modeling construction grammars by generating primitive 3D structures using C# and running the code through a game engine (it's a bit weird, but essentially we were trying to create a multidimensional model for language using a similar but more advanced concept than other LLMs), and just had a breakthrough. It was 2AM though and not a brain cell existed between the six of us, so instead we focused on a different problem: Macy's ongoing breakup with her semi-long distance trucker boyfriend. We tried to explain why Mike wasn't going to work out as we ordered a round of milkshakes and waited for the lone overnight kitchen worker to scoop out three balls of ice cream from the Deans carton for each of us, blend it, then have the server deliver the vintage diner glasses on a plastic tray.
I dug into my thick strawberry shake with a spoon. It was delicious. I kept eating but focused back on the conversation. I remember feeling something odd about one of the scoops, but I was so entrenched in Macy's story that I didn't notice the metal shard in my ice cream until I felt it against my lip. "P-tuh" I spat out the shard and ice cream all in one motion, then covered my mouth which I was sure was bleeding. The silver blade was probably as large as my thumb, and it had two jagged edges, as if it was fastened for the purpose of causing damage. "What the fuck!" I yelled.
Everyone at the table turned to see what was the matter. "Hey, Lauren, you okay?"
I spoke through a covered mouth, using my free hand to point at the table. "That was in my—"
But it was gone.
"In your… shake? Was something in your shake?" asked Jeremy.
I froze. In that moment, the stories of my childhood that I had only remembered as faint nightmares came back in a wave of crushing terror. How could I have been so stupid to think they would simply vanish forever? No, this isn't the same thing, I thought. But deep down, I knew it was. I drew my hand away from my lips and saw that it was dry—no blood. When I looked back up, all of the blood in my veins went cold. My friends were… smiling at me. Their lips were elastic like taffy, stretching to reveal their teeth. I could feel them radiating malevolence, as if the only thing holding them back from picking up their utensils and stabbing me to death was some thinly veiled force field. The moment lasted for what felt like half a minute, then Jordan said two words which made the hair on the back of my neck stand up.
"Found you"
The words ricocheted in my now adrenaline powered skull. But just as he spoke them, the world blinked and my friends were back. Bella reached out and grabbed my hand. I pulled away, but when I saw her concerned expression, I relented.
"Sorry, guys, I think I'm going to have to call it." I said.
"You sure, L?" asked Jordan. "You look like you just saw a ghost."
"Yeah, thanks, but I just…" I stumbled for a lie, but when one wouldn't come, Martin stood up and said he'd walk me out to my car.
"Thanks," I said as I got into my little 2015 Jetta. "It's just been a long day."
"No problem, Lauren. You know, if there's ever anything—"
"I know," I said but didn't mean. Some things just couldn't be shared.
I drove for about five minutes before stopping at a gas station. I pulled in and parked near the back. Then I interlocked my fingers and prayed for half an hour. I apologized for not taking my praying seriously and asked to once again be granted peace. Unlike my younger years, I also drifted into other avenues of thought. I imagined my mom. I pictured the whole arc of my life, all of the little decisions that led me to where I was. I cried for a long time. I felt like that little girl again reaching out for help. I still felt so lost, so out of control; there were so many things missing, and I was so confused.
I decided then to take a trip back home and visit my dad who was now working as a private tutor. He made enough prepping affluent students for the ACT and SAT that he could spend his free time pursuing his real passions: reading and writing. When I arrived at his doorstep that weekend, he greeted me with open arms. "How are you, kiddo? It's been, what? A year or so?"
It was actually more like two years, but I didn't tell him. I just smiled and nodded.
"Well, come in."
The house was almost exactly how I remembered it. Linoleum floors, beige walls, a few scattered pictures, the scent of camomile. Everything minimalist. There was a quaintness, a prettiness to the way everything seemed to be well kept and in a perfect place. From the cherry wood chairs we'd sit in to eat, to the cream-colored loveseat. I felt at home.
I spent the drive thinking of what I would talk to my dad about, but ultimately I wasn't sure what I'd say. I loved my dad, but I think growing up it was easy to see him as naive. After all, arguably the most important episodes of my childhood were completely unknown to him. In that way, I kind of loved him from a distance. Maybe losing my mom also played into that. Maybe I just had trust issues. And after what happened at the diner… Luckily there hadn't been any blinks since.
I stayed for a couple days and he showed me around some of the different coffee shops where he'd tutor kids or write some of his stories. I met some of his friends, mostly other retired or part-time teachers who were in a similar place in life. I was happy for him. Then, on Sunday, he made me my favorite meal growing up: homemade carbonara pasta with chicken and broccoli. The sauce had a few different cheeses, butter, olive oil, and a raw egg yolk. It was the perfect blend of creamy, savory, and sweet. After we ate, he cracked open a scrapbook of some old photos and other clippings he had put together.
We reminisced about the past and laughed whenever I'd cover up one of my awkward pictures. He brought up some stories from school that I had forgotten, naming some teachers that I hadn't thought about in years. Apparently I had started at the end, because as I moved to the other end of the book, I kept getting younger and younger. I flipped to the last pages and noticed a couple pictures of my mom that made my heart sink.
"She was beautiful, wasn't she?" said my dad.
"Mmm," I agreed.
I flipped to the last page and saw a collage of newspaper clippings. One of them was related to the accident. It was headlined: "Two Survive Head-On Collision". After a cursory glance at the text, I noticed something odd. It said, "Both the husband and child, a three year old girl, sustained life-threatening wounds. The husband was found unconscious on the scene. The girl was found twenty meters away from the vehicle, crying." I swallowed, trying to remember back to what happened that day. The feeling of crashing, of the world slowing down, then breaking, returned. And then there was a hand. My dad's hand. Or was it? If he was unconscious, who pulled me out of that wreck?
I looked up at my dad. He was smiling.
I shot up and started backing up slowly toward the door. "No, not you, too. What is this? What's happening? Who are you?"
My dad, or whatever was controlling him, laughed."Oh, Lauren, Lauren, Lauren. You know who we are." he purred as he stood up. He lifted his hands and the lights began to flicker then bend in a way which shouldn't have been possible. Dark figures began to propagate from the shadows along the walls. The pictures nailed there began to blink out of existence. I turned to run toward the door but the handle was gone. Glass shards materialized all around me and swarmed like locusts. Certain I was going to die, I dropped down on my knees and once again turned to prayer, this time asking God to directly intervene and save me.
Everything went quiet.
"Honey? Are you okay?"
I didn't trust his voice. I knew if I opened my eyes, I'd see that awful smile. He was just toying with me. "It's not you," I said in between muttered prayers. "I know it's not you."
"Honey," my dad said, closer. I felt his arms wrap around me. This was it, I was going to be suffocated. I waited for the inevitable crushing weight of my chest collapsing. I waited to break all over again.
"I would never hurt you, Lauren. I love you more than anything in the whole world."
I burst out in tears. "No, it's not you, I know it's not you. You don't exist!"
My dad's weight dissipated. I opened my eyes and saw that he was no longer there. "Dad?" I called aloud. "Dad? Where did you go?"
I checked all over the house, but there was no trace of him. There were still pictures of him all over the house, so I knew he hadn't blinked out of existence like everything else, but somehow he was missing.
***
I left the house and got a room at a hotel, where I am now. I'm sure at this point that whatever is happening to me is no longer random. Something out there is actively trying to hunt me. Maybe it has been my whole life, but only now it can see me—however weird that sounds. If that's right, then God has been on my side trying to protect me from this demon or monster or devil or whatever it is. Regardless, the methods I was using when I was younger are not going to cut it anymore. I already posted my story in several other small circles and have gotten one reply. A man who goes by the name "Trent" (apparently it's an alias). He said that he has some insight into my "condition" and can offer help if I want it. I'm planning on meeting with him tomorrow. I'm not sure if it's a good idea, but at this point I need answers. I can keep you updated with my progress if that interests you, and to anyone who knows anything about what's happening to me, please… I could really use your help.
***
I was just about to post this when Trent sent another message. This is what it says:
Trent: We can do the \*** at **** O'clock. Also, if what you're telling me is true, your mother may still be alive.*

When I was three years old I was in a really bad car accident. I didn't know it at the time, but that singular event would come to define everything about my life moving forward. What I remember about the accident is mostly a collage of backdated comments I was able to reel out of my father in the following years. He was driving me and my mom in his old '91 Chevy Tahoe through the twisting backroads of Southern Illinois, weaving his way through the gnarled branches of oak trees which interlocked into a braided ceiling overhead. A fog had rolled in, giving the impression that we were driving through a cloudy tube. Everything was simultaneously bright and opaque. I didn't mind though, as I was in the back seat working on a coloring book. My mom was in the front, talking with my dad or turning around to entertain my completed pictures.
Although I was of the age where my memory was just beginning to mature, I still recall two things very clearly from the accident. First was the sensation of breaking. I remember feeling the way a plate must feel to be dropped: weightless at first, then suddenly meeting a much larger, more solid object—the air popped like a firecracker, and the entirety of my body shattered into hundreds of fractals. And then I remember a hand. It was my dad's hand pulling me from the wreck.
I ended up hospitalized for weeks after the crash. My mom was less lucky. The impact had killed her instantly.
As I've alluded to, I was young, and at the time I didn't fully understand the implications of what had happened. I knew something was missing, but it was like a word on the tip of my tongue, or the forgotten vanilla in a cherished cake recipe—coloring my experience, but not the whole of it. Not like my dad. For him, it was the whole fucking cake. He had somehow made it out with only a few scratches. I'm sure he had a really bad case of survivor's guilt, and frankly, looking back, I wouldn't have blamed him if he slumped into despair and spent his days drinking away his sorrow. But he wasn't that type of man. He got help. It took him years before he was able to recall anything that happened that morning, and most of it is still repressed, but he shared with me what he could. Or at least that's what I had thought.
My dad was a Middle School teacher since before I was born, and he kept his job until very recently. As a result, we didn't have much by way of resources. I grew up on Disney Channel and TV dinners for the most part, but I didn't mind. When I became of school age, his job actually made caring for me pretty convenient. Since our Elementary and Middle schools were connected, he was able to drive me there and back each day.
It was around third or fourth grade that I realized I was different. I didn't understand the other children or even the adults most of the time. They would say things then immediately change their mind, or they would talk about something and in the next breath forget its existence entirely. I remember one day at lunch, I had just gotten my tray of hot food and sat down with some friends. One of the kids, Alex, was talking about a stuffed bird he had won for getting first place in Mr. Curtis's pop-up math competition. We were all admiring its blue wings and white belly and sharp black beak and beady eyes. I left mid-conversation to get a chocolate milk. When I came back, I asked to see the bird again, and Alex said "what bird?" I was perplexed. "The bird—the bluejay you were just showing us." I remember all of the other kids looking at me like I was crazy. I figured they were all playing a trick on me, so I got up and went over to Alex's seat and crouched down, looking under the table, then I sprung up and tried to open his lunchbox. "What are you doing!?" he yelled. I felt so confused and embarrassed that I ran to the bathroom to cry.
And then there was another time a group of kids were laughing about a joke one of the girls, Taylor, had made about our homeroom teacher's face looking like a seal. I knew it was mean, but at the time I just wanted to fit in so I played along, but when I made a comment about her resemblance to the semi-aquatic animal, they all looked at me confused. "What are you talking about? We never said that…"
These misattributions kept happening, and it led to me being ostracized from most of the little childish cliques that popped up. I developed a quasi-standoffish temperament which I used as a shield against a chaotic world that I didn't understand. My dad eventually had me tested for ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder), but I passed the test. He asked if I wanted to move to a different town with different schoolmates, thinking that perhaps I was getting bullied, but I told him it was fine. Somewhere deep down I felt like no matter where I went, this problem would follow me.
You may think that I was simply coping with the absence of my mom, and while I'm sure that her absence has left certain holes in my life, kindly, no, that wasn't what was happening. You see, at first I didn't notice the instances of what I'll call "blinking". I simply thought that I was misremembering things: objects, words, events. They were all little things anyway. A bird, a joke, my pencil box. It wasn't until sixth grade that I realized the magnitude of the phenomenon.
I was in my dad's 6th grade Social Studies class and we had just been assigned our "Ancient Civilizations" project which involved creating a diorama of our chosen civilization and presenting its features to the class. My friend at the time, Claire, had taken my first choice of Ancient Rome (which we had a heated argument about at lunch), so I was left with Ancient Egypt. At the time, all I pictured for Egypt was a plate of sand. However, my dad and I went through some illustrated history books and pictures on the internet and he really built up the project for me.
Over the course of a couple months, he helped me shape three pyramids out of small wooden planks and a bunch of tan clay. We placed them in the center of a giant square shoebox lid which served as the container for the diorama. Then he bought some small wooden mannequin puppets and we dressed them up in cloth clothes (mostly kilts and tunics) and colored their eyes, mouths, and hair. We added a few obelisks and some small box-huts which were collected into a little village around the Nile. Finally, we added a light glaze of glue where we felt would be necessary and then covered the whole project with golden glitter.
As we worked on each part of the diorama, my dad helped me understand what we were adding and why it was important to Ancient Egypt. I loved the way he talked about history. He spun everything into a miraculous story. To this day, I don't think I've ever had a teacher who came close to his level of charisma and creativity. As a result, I became really proud of my diorama. I memorized all the little details and rehearsed my speech in front of the mirror for hours leading up to the last couple weeks of class. And then, two days before I was supposed to give my presentation, everything fell apart.
First, I need to apologize for deceiving you about an aspect of my story. I thought it might help you to understand what I was going through at the time. What I'm about to tell you is going to sound insane. I get that. But please hear me out. The truth is that I was never assigned to present on Ancient Egypt; everything else about Clair taking my first pick and dad helping me with the whole project and my excitement leading up to the presentation was all true, but it wasn't a project on Ancient Egypt, it was a project on Ancient Sidovan, which was a civilization located on the eighth continent called "Catalan" (the same name as the spoken language, but unrelated) which was due West of Australia in the Indian Ocean.
I know this sounds incredible, and if you want to believe it's all in my head, I get that, but I remember clearly all sorts of facts about it: the Malagasy, the same people who populated Madagascar, were the first peoples to discover Catalan and settle it. However, about five hundred years later, Indian ships would arrive and create the civilization known as Sidovan. A pidgin language formed between the indigenous population and new arriving Indians called "Hiesa" (pronounced: Hai-E-suh or Hai-ʔ-suh). Catalan had a warm climate with plenty of natural resources, but Sidovan had a dense enough population to require agricultural production. They grew rice, grain, sugarcane, vegetables, and even tobacco.
I remembered all of these facts and more. My diorama reflected the main features of the Sidovan civilization. And then two days before my presentation, I woke up and my diorama was entirely different. The hilly grasslands were traded out for sandy dunes. The Hindu statues and stone palaces became clay pyramids and large spear-like pillars. And everything was covered with the ickiest yellow glitter I had ever seen. Tears stung my eyes as I trampled over to my dad's room and banged on his door. "Dad! What did you do!?" I yelled.
"Honey?" He responded, rushing over to the base of the stairs. "What's wrong?"
"The diorama. It's ruined!"
"It's what?" he asked and ran up the stairs, leading me to my room. He looked over it for a few seconds, checking to see if everything was intact, then said, "I don't see it, honey. Where is it ruined?"
I was completely dumb-struck. What did he mean he didn't see it? "All of it!" I shouted. "The whole thing is wrong. Where's the grass and the stone buildings and the lady with the four arms and the elephants? Where is my project!?"
My dad looked at me in silence. "Lauren, baby, what civilization do you think you were working on?"
"Ancient Sidovan, of course! We've been working on this for months now! Dad, please tell me you remember."
He knelt down and put his hands on my shoulders. "Honey, your project was on Ancient Egypt. There is no Ancient Sidovan."
"Y-you're lying." I protested. "Books, you have books. On your bookshelf."
He took me into his study and showed me all of his books. None of them were on Ancient Sidovan. He even turned on his computer and typed in the name of the civilization, but all that came up was a near match "Sidon". I remember feeling the sudden urge to puke. My entire body felt like it was pumping battery acid instead of blood. "I—I don't," I started but suddenly my head felt very light, and I fainted.
When I woke up, I was in the hospital. I had lost consciousness for over half an hour, enough time for my dad to call 9-1-1 and have the ambulance transport me to the nearest ER. They ran all sorts of tests on me, but they all came back fine. After a couple hours of IV fluids and monitoring, they released me with my dad.
I ended up skipping the rest of school that week. My dad didn't make me present my diorama. In fact, he never brought the subject up again. Part of me was glad. I just wanted to forget the whole thing ever happened. But another part of me couldn't move past what was clearly the most absurd thing to ever happen to me. About a week after the incident, I tried to broach the subject, but when I asked my dad about it, he didn't seem to remember our conversation at all. He said I had fallen ill and that's why I needed to go to the ER and miss class. I felt like I was going crazy. If I was older, I probably would have voluntarily checked myself into a psychiatric ward. But I was young and helpless and alone, and I decided that if I just ignored the changes well enough, I could still get along. This proved difficult though, as the blinking would only exacerbate in the coming months.
Up until the time of the project, I hadn't been able to directly observe the phenomenon. It was always in retrospect that things disappeared. It was during the summer after sixth grade that this changed. I still remember the first time it happened. I had just gotten out of the shower and was drying my hair in front of the mirror. After it was dried, I threw on my clothes then went to tie my hair up in a ponytail, but as I went to set the elastic tie, I felt its weight dissipate in my hand. I gasped and held my hand out. The circular black band was gone.
Fast forward to seventh grade and the blinking had spiraled out of control. Reflecting back on it, most people would probably have assumed I was drinking psilocybin-infused water, as the delusions were somewhat consistent with psychedelic phenomena: except these distortions were real (at least they felt that way to me).
I'd wake up and grab the box of Special K but end up eating Cheerios. The McDonalds logo would look yellow and red one day, but purple and black the next. I'd be watching a show, and then a different show, and then a different one. It was as if the entire universe was a Christmas tree with millions of lights, and the lights kept shifting hues randomly, faster and faster, and I was the only one who could see their changing colors. I remember one night my dad made spaghetti for dinner and we went out onto the porch to eat it. While we were sitting, I saw our neighbor's house, a two story townhome, blink and become a single story bungalow. I gasped, and my dad asked what was wrong, but when I tried to explain he just gave me a strange look. For him, no matter what changed, the world was "always that way". While for me, it didn't have "a way".
The situation peaked when Clair, that friend I mentioned before, disappeared. I texted her (my dad had bought me a BlackBerry at the beginning of summer break) but didn't get a response. When I asked her other friends if they knew where she was, I got the usual "what are you talking about?" look. I knew right away what had happened, even though I didn't want to believe it. I went to the teacher and asked if there was a Clair in our class. She said "no". I broke down in front of everyone. I couldn't take it anymore. I ran out of school. The lady at the front desk tried to stop me, but I just barrelled past her. I kept running until I got to a big park across the street and bawled my eyes out until the police arrived and escorted me home. When they tried asking me what was wrong, I didn't say anything. There was literally nothing I could say that they would understand.
That night I prayed to God for the first time. My dad wasn't a religious man. He went to Catholic church with my mom when she was alive, but after she died he never went back. Still, I knew how to pray, even if I never did it. I copied some of the people I saw praying in movies and interlocked my fingers and knelt down on my bed, stuffing my head into a pillow. "Dear God," I said, "Please, please, please help me." I told Him about my struggles and asked Him to make them stop. I spent an hour saying the same things over and over again. And when I was finished, my little body was so tired, I fell right to sleep.
I knew something was different the second I opened my eyelids. I didn't only feel relieved, but I felt… embraced. I felt like someone was watching over me. I felt like I wasn't alone. I moved through my day with cautious apprehension. I didn't want to get my hopes up only to be let down. But to my surprise, the blinking had stopped. At least I couldn't remember any of the inconsistencies, and to me, that was a win. I began to pray regularly, and the more I did, the more I could feel the sense that someone was looking out for me. It was like I was getting a big hug from some cosmic force that loved me and wanted me to be happy.
I made it a habit to pray regularly. I asked my dad if he could take me to a church, and he agreed to take me to St. Mark's, the same church that he and my mom used to attend. Over time, I realized that the actual church services weren't as important to me as the praying. For whatever reason, there was something about praying that was like a glue for my brain, holding the entire universe together. As I got older, I considered that maybe it wasn't that the changes were no longer happening, but that I simply didn't see them anymore. In other words, maybe I was just becoming like everyone else. Either way, I didn't mind.
In my teenage years, I got into mindfulness meditation. I thought that I'd want to go into religious studies and become a theologian, so I started to learn about Eastern traditions in addition to Christianity. I joined a bunch of different school clubs to meet kids of different faiths: Judaism, Hinduism, Buddhism, Islam. I tried to find a common thread which linked them all and would explain what happened to me as a child. The metaphors of Heaven and Hell, Good and Evil, the Taoist Yin and Yang—duality. Every religion seemed to speak about a way of being that would lead to a better place. In some cases that better place was a physical future existence, and in others it was merely being in contact with the perfection of nature or the present. Metaphorically, the teachings could explain what I had gone through in a kind of loose way, but there were no explicit statements about my condition.
***
I want to fast forward to why I've decided to write about this now. To give you an idea of where I'm at, I'm now 25 and working on finishing my MA in Computational Linguistics. I know that's a bit of a switch from what I was thinking when I was a teenager, but I really only interested in religion because of the value praying afforded me as a child. I didn't actually have much interest in the subject, itself. After my first year of college, I changed to an English major, which ultimately led to me taking a linguistics class and enjoying it so much that I switched tracks in my Junior year. Considering the state of the world, I thought minoring in Computer Science might help me financially in the future, so I ended up charting a path which I figured might lead to something like developing translation software.
Anyway, everything was going fine until a few weeks ago. I was out at an all-night diner with a few of my friends from the program. There was Jeremy, Martin, Bella, Jordan, and Macy. We had been working on a group project together involving modeling construction grammars by generating primitive 3D structures using C# and running the code through a game engine (it's a bit weird, but essentially we were trying to create a multidimensional model for language using a similar but more advanced concept than other LLMs), and just had a breakthrough. It was 2AM though and not a brain cell existed between the six of us, so instead we focused on a different problem: Macy's ongoing breakup with her semi-long distance trucker boyfriend. We tried to explain why Mike wasn't going to work out as we ordered a round of milkshakes and waited for the lone overnight kitchen worker to scoop out three balls of ice cream from the Deans carton for each of us, blend it, then have the server deliver the vintage diner glasses on a plastic tray.
I dug into my thick strawberry shake with a spoon. It was delicious. I kept eating but focused back on the conversation. I remember feeling something odd about one of the scoops, but I was so entrenched in Macy's story that I didn't notice the metal shard in my ice cream until I felt it against my lip. "P-tuh" I spat out the shard and ice cream all in one motion, then covered my mouth which I was sure was bleeding. The silver blade was probably as large as my thumb, and it had two jagged edges, as if it was fastened for the purpose of causing damage. "What the fuck!" I yelled.
Everyone at the table turned to see what was the matter. "Hey, Lauren, you okay?"
I spoke through a covered mouth, using my free hand to point at the table. "That was in my—"
But it was gone.
"In your… shake? Was something in your shake?" asked Jeremy.
I froze. In that moment, the stories of my childhood that I had only remembered as faint nightmares came back in a wave of crushing terror. How could I have been so stupid to think they would simply vanish forever? No, this isn't the same thing, I thought. But deep down, I knew it was. I drew my hand away from my lips and saw that it was dry—no blood. When I looked back up, all of the blood in my veins went cold. My friends were… smiling at me. Their lips were elastic like taffy, stretching to reveal their teeth. I could feel them radiating malevolence, as if the only thing holding them back from picking up their utensils and stabbing me to death was some thinly veiled force field. The moment lasted for what felt like half a minute, then Jordan said two words which made the hair on the back of my neck stand up.
"Found you"
The words ricocheted in my now adrenaline powered skull. But just as he spoke them, the world blinked and my friends were back. Bella reached out and grabbed my hand. I pulled away, but when I saw her concerned expression, I relented.
"Sorry, guys, I think I'm going to have to call it." I said.
"You sure, L?" asked Jordan. "You look like you just saw a ghost."
"Yeah, thanks, but I just…" I stumbled for a lie, but when one wouldn't come, Martin stood up and said he'd walk me out to my car.
"Thanks," I said as I got into my little 2015 Jetta. "It's just been a long day."
"No problem, Lauren. You know, if there's ever anything—"
"I know," I said but didn't mean. Some things just couldn't be shared.
I drove for about five minutes before stopping at a gas station. I pulled in and parked near the back. Then I interlocked my fingers and prayed for half an hour. I apologized for not taking my praying seriously and asked to once again be granted peace. Unlike my younger years, I also drifted into other avenues of thought. I imagined my mom. I pictured the whole arc of my life, all of the little decisions that led me to where I was. I cried for a long time. I felt like that little girl again reaching out for help. I still felt so lost, so out of control; there were so many things missing, and I was so confused.
I decided then to take a trip back home and visit my dad who was now working as a private tutor. He made enough prepping affluent students for the ACT and SAT that he could spend his free time pursuing his real passions: reading and writing. When I arrived at his doorstep that weekend, he greeted me with open arms. "How are you, kiddo? It's been, what? A year or so?"
It was actually more like two years, but I didn't tell him. I just smiled and nodded.
"Well, come in."
The house was almost exactly how I remembered it. Linoleum floors, beige walls, a few scattered pictures, the scent of camomile. Everything minimalist. There was a quaintness, a prettiness to the way everything seemed to be well kept and in a perfect place. From the cherry wood chairs we'd sit in to eat, to the cream-colored loveseat. I felt at home.
I spent the drive thinking of what I would talk to my dad about, but ultimately I wasn't sure what I'd say. I loved my dad, but I think growing up it was easy to see him as naive. After all, arguably the most important episodes of my childhood were completely unknown to him. In that way, I kind of loved him from a distance. Maybe losing my mom also played into that. Maybe I just had trust issues. And after what happened at the diner… Luckily there hadn't been any blinks since.
I stayed for a couple days and he showed me around some of the different coffee shops where he'd tutor kids or write some of his stories. I met some of his friends, mostly other retired or part-time teachers who were in a similar place in life. I was happy for him. Then, on Sunday, he made me my favorite meal growing up: homemade carbonara pasta with chicken and broccoli. The sauce had a few different cheeses, butter, olive oil, and a raw egg yolk. It was the perfect blend of creamy, savory, and sweet. After we ate, he cracked open a scrapbook of some old photos and other clippings he had put together.
We reminisced about the past and laughed whenever I'd cover up one of my awkward pictures. He brought up some stories from school that I had forgotten, naming some teachers that I hadn't thought about in years. Apparently I had started at the end, because as I moved to the other end of the book, I kept getting younger and younger. I flipped to the last pages and noticed a couple pictures of my mom that made my heart sink.
"She was beautiful, wasn't she?" said my dad.
"Mmm," I agreed.
I flipped to the last page and saw a collage of newspaper clippings. One of them was related to the accident. It was headlined: "Two Survive Head-On Collision". After a cursory glance at the text, I noticed something odd. It said, "Both the husband and child, a three year old girl, sustained life-threatening wounds. The husband was found unconscious on the scene. The girl was found twenty meters away from the vehicle, crying." I swallowed, trying to remember back to what happened that day. The feeling of crashing, of the world slowing down, then breaking, returned. And then there was a hand. My dad's hand. Or was it? If he was unconscious, who pulled me out of that wreck?
I looked up at my dad. He was smiling.
I shot up and started backing up slowly toward the door. "No, not you, too. What is this? What's happening? Who are you?"
My dad, or whatever was controlling him, laughed."Oh, Lauren, Lauren, Lauren. You know who we are." he purred as he stood up. He lifted his hands and the lights began to flicker then bend in a way which shouldn't have been possible. Dark figures began to propagate from the shadows along the walls. The pictures nailed there began to blink out of existence. I turned to run toward the door but the handle was gone. Glass shards materialized all around me and swarmed like locusts. Certain I was going to die, I dropped down on my knees and once again turned to prayer, this time asking God to directly intervene and save me.
Everything went quiet.
"Honey? Are you okay?"
I didn't trust his voice. I knew if I opened my eyes, I'd see that awful smile. He was just toying with me. "It's not you," I said in between muttered prayers. "I know it's not you."
"Honey," my dad said, closer. I felt his arms wrap around me. This was it, I was going to be suffocated. I waited for the inevitable crushing weight of my chest collapsing. I waited to break all over again.
"I would never hurt you, Lauren. I love you more than anything in the whole world."
I burst out in tears. "No, it's not you, I know it's not you. You don't exist!"
My dad's weight dissipated. I opened my eyes and saw that he was no longer there. "Dad?" I called aloud. "Dad? Where did you go?"
I checked all over the house, but there was no trace of him. There were still pictures of him all over the house, so I knew he hadn't blinked out of existence like everything else, but somehow he was missing.
***
I left the house and got a room at a hotel, where I am now. I'm sure at this point that whatever is happening to me is no longer random. Something out there is actively trying to hunt me. Maybe it has been my whole life, but only now it can see me—however weird that sounds. If that's right, then God has been on my side trying to protect me from this demon or monster or devil or whatever it is. Regardless, the methods I was using when I was younger are not going to cut it anymore. I already posted my story in several other small circles and have gotten one reply. A man who goes by the name "Trent" (apparently it's an alias). He said that he has some insight into my "condition" and can offer help if I want it. I'm planning on meeting with him tomorrow. I'm not sure if it's a good idea, but at this point I need answers. I can keep you updated with my progress if that interests you, and to anyone who knows anything about what's happening to me, please… I could really use your help.
***
I was just about to post this when Trent sent another message. This is what it says:
Trent: We can do the \*** at **** O'clock. Also, if what you're telling me is true, your mother may still be alive.*

I am 40, so I am not that old.. yet. When I was learning to read, I was taught using a strict phonics approach. I was able to learn to read at a very young age, compared to some of my peers. Fast forward 20 years later and my son is struggling to read at grade level in the local public school system. Upon meeting with his teacher, principal ,and resource teachers, I was informed that the school used sight words, not phonics as the basis of their reading program. Eventually, I withdrew him and started homeschooling, using a strictly phonics curriculum. He was reading above grade level within 6 months.
I have noticed this with some of the kids that are coming out of the public school system into the homeschool coop where I teach. They are lacking the basic foundation upon which to build their reading fluency and comprehension. Which is better to you all? Phonics or sight words?

If we had to identify the one thing that makes GRE Reading Comprehension challenging, it would probably be the way the answer choices are designed. They aren’t designed to be straightforward. Instead, RC answer choices are designed so that incorrect choices seem correct and correct answers seem incorrect.
For example, some incorrect choices are written to be half correct. So, to avoid selecting these trap choices, we have to be careful to read choices in their entirety. Other incorrect choices will use wording that closely matches the wording of the passage. So, to avoid these trap choices, we have to go beyond matching words to carefully considering the meaning conveyed by those words.
Meanwhile, correct answers can be worded quite differently from the passage. For example, a correct answer can reverse the wording of the passage to convey an equivalent meaning. So, we have to learn to recognize that a choice is supported by the passage even though, at first glance, the choice seems different from the passage.
In general, both incorrect choices and correct answers in GRE Reading Comprehension will play on our cognitive biases and any tendencies we have to gloss over what we read or fail to pay attention to detail. What all this means is that, to perform at a high level on RC, we have to master the art of telling the difference between trap choices and correct answers.
Warmest regards,
Scott

Hello - long time sims player here! I play in multiple PCs and I always upload my lots to be able to use them wherever I am. Some of them I build from scratch, some of them I download some good bones from the gallery and use them as shells to renovate the interior and exterior.
I’m not a content creator or anything of the sort, but some of my uploads get a decent amount of downloads and likes every once in a while. Lately I’ve noticed people commenting that the gallery re-uploads are “stolen”. This is a recent thing in my opinion, from the last 1-2 years.
I am not claiming I built the shells myself, it’s clearly a re-upload with facade and interior updates. So I’m confused, it literally says who the original builder is right there lol do people just lack reading comprehension?
From my perspective the Gallery was meant to do the exact thing I’m doing - sharing the lots you’ve been playing with and using other simmers creations for your storylines.
I’d love to hear your thoughts on this. Why are they considered “stolen”? Am I plagiarizing something by re-uploading a lot I’ve been playing with and have adjusted according to my storylines?
I actually find it kind of flattering when someone re-uploads my original builds. To me, it means they loved it enough to spend a lot of time making it their own, but maybe I’m in the wrong here!

I am currently in the process of applying for Masters in Physics, and I have submitted applications to both the University of Tubingen and the University of Hamburg. I wanted to inquire about my admission chances, particularly for the University of Tubingen, as there are no admission restrictions specified.
To provide some context:
my_qualifications:

• I am currently awaiting the results of my 6th-semester examination.
• My cumulative grade point average (CGPA) for the first five semesters is 8.3.
• I have completed a 5-month internship.
• Additionally, I have published a chapter in a science book.
• My IELTS score is 7.5.

Given these qualifications and the absence of admission restrictions at the University of Tubingen, do you think my chances of admission are favorable?
Your thoughts and opinions regarding my situation will be extremely useful! Thank you for reading this post!

So I've been having a lot of trouble with my TOCFL fluency tests as it appears my textbook learning has reached a ceiling and my learning has stagnated, then i thought that I've been watching anime since like 6th grade in Japanese dub and I can speak pretty decent Japanese to just get by and understand the gist of convos after all these years even though i haven't studied it or know how to read it. Personally, I think this is the way I learn languages, trying to imitate characters, dialogues.
I was wondering if i should apply a similar approach to mandarin
So hit me with the Mandarin language masterpiece 10/10 animes, tv shows and movies (which use relatively standard mandarin i hope and subbed)
I watched one show called xiang jian ni and it was pretty cool, learned some phrases out of it.