Sour og growing specifications

Hi, I am new here but have suffered from autoimmune disease since childhood. Late twenties now. Since beginning of the year I have been thinking about moving to California, where I wanted to be for many years. I am closing in on what may be a miracle—a potential work opportunity that I need to ask for and hope for the best.
I have had a lot of concerns about specific details—the insurance system, quality of care, crime, Trump. But my overall worry is whether I am pursuing the wrong choice, whether I will end up in a better place or not.
Obviously no one knows the answer, and that scares me when the stakes are heightened due to my illness. I do not have the buffer room as a healthy person. I do not have family or friends there, and really only one (long-distance) friend. But there is a large "still coviding" community (which I identify as), and many people in my field to potentially befriend and learn from. And California is paradise for outdoor activities, which are my main source of joy.
I also have a pressing sense of urgency to pursue this move:

• I turn 30 soon, so my brain is almost finished developing. If I do not explore, grow, meet new people, learn new mindsets, it will be much harder to break out of my current patterns as I age.
• My health is somewhat stable on medication, and no one can know if things will get worse later. I saw someone with lupus who has said, "I need to hike Everest Base Camp now because I might not be able to hike in ten years" and that resonated deeply with me.

I guess my question is, as chronically ill people, how do you make these massive, lifechanging decisions when we simply can not know how things will turn out?

In the Era of Fear I Comfort them with Great Love
Anita Moorjani was cured from cancer not because of a certain medicine, vaccine or chemotherapy. She was cured because of this Great Love. Anita Moorjani is a forty years old woman who is simple and honest. She was born in India, grew up in Singapore and was English educated. Later she went to Hong Kong. She knows Tamil, English and Cantonese. In 2002 the doctor said that she was down with cancer lymphoma or the blood cell tumor. After four years, in 2006 seventy percent of her body is covered with the cancerous cells. She stayed in the hospital, suffering terribly because of this illness. Later the doctor pronounced her death. After three days she woke up and was cured miraculously. This is truly inconceivable when she woke up from her death. In her mind she was very sure she was cured already. No treatment was needed. But she was very weak. She could not even talk. The doctor was surprised of her condition and again they carried out a checking on her body and found that she was free from all symptoms of cancer. In her mind she knew she was already cured. In her mind there was a great transformation that she personally experienced. And all the cells on her body were transformed into healthy cells. Later she wrote a book entitles: After dying once I finally learn to love’ By looking at this title, it coincides with Master Shan Dao’s teaching on the one with deep faith in the dharma. He said, ‘Standing here is waiting to die. Going forward is also death. Turning back, I too cannot escape from death.’ This can be found in the ‘Analogy of two rivers and one white lane’ the three sure deaths. If we have died once, we will truly give ourselves up. This is the same as the Pure Land teaching that we have to admit we are the sinful mundane man. We lose all hope as we have no ways to leave the triple realm. In cultivation we need to really undergo a total death in order to really practise the path. The zen cultivator says this is known as undergoing great death and great living. Otherwise, no real cultivation can be expected because most of us are very arrogant, very self-centred, without much changes in our stubborn mindset. That is why she said after dying once only she managed to learn how to love. In the Pure Land door this is known as having deep faith. Such a man will surely have faith in Amitabha’s 48 vows to gather in living beings without any doubts and suspicion. By relying on the strength of the Buddha’s Vows we will surely attain a rebirth. This is living in the great love of Namo Amitabha Buddha. We receive the love of Amitabha Buddha. Only then we can have the genuine love and we are able to learn to love. If we do not feel the love of Amitabha Buddha, we will not know how to love. Our love will be frightening as it is an attachment, a desire to control, to possess others. Such a love is impure, it is a threat to us. If we are not careful it might turn into hatred. Such is a frightful kind of love. If we learn from Amitabha Buddha, the love is pure, without condition and transparent. This is truly loving a person. It is not easy to learn this. We look at the couples around us. So many got married and end up in divorce. How about those who do not get a divorce? Yes, they spend the whole life fighting！The truly loving couples are as few as the stars in the broad day light. So, learning to love is our homework for the whole life. It is not easy. Today I would like to discuss this passage with you. After reading her writing I feel most shameful as what the author has said is very true in accord with her experience. Even though I have left home for more than twenty years, receiving the teaching of the Buddha, the guidance of the patriarch, the exhortation of my Master, the help of my lotus friends and all, I still feel I am lacking in genuine practice and virtues. On the contrary this lady has not met with the Buddha Dharma. She has such an awakening after dying once, it is truly a gain for her. She said, ‘After my body stopped functioning, I entered into another world.’ She was so seriously ill that her heart, her liver and everything stopped functioning. This is to show there is a world after death. She said, ‘I saw myself as a very wonderful person. This is because I was not terrorised until I had a change in shape.’ ‘I felt there was this vibrant energy around me and I was able to enter it. I realise if a man can see his wonderful existence, he must be the happiest man.’ Most of us like to complain about our imperfect existence. We often think thus, ‘I do not have enough money. I am not healthy. I am not pretty. I do not have enough clothing ….’ Here we must learn to see the good points in us, to appreciate the value of our existence. A woman who can say like this is truly very calm in mind. A man who always complains about himself will not be able to live happily each day. So, without knowing the love of Amitabha for us, we will be a great complainer. We complain about no money, we complain about our look, our wrinkles and so on and so forth. What kind of life will this be with so many complaints? She said, ‘I found that there was this power surrounding me.’ When we pass away, we will no longer be using our eyes, ears, nose, tongue, body and mind to observe. Instead, we will be awakened to our innate Buddha. She felt she is surrounded by this vibrant field of energy and she is also this energy. What kind of power is this? It is a kind of energy. It is always in the universe or the dharma realm in the Buddhist terms. In fact, this is Amitabha Buddha. This is the strength of the Buddha Nature. She uses her Buddha Nature to experience the Buddha Nature. It exists forever. It is neither born nor become extinct. If the Buddha enters the world or does not enter the world, it is always there without changing. Of course, she does not use these Buddhist terms. She said, ‘When I give up the attachment to the mundane world, I enter another world effortlessly. It is unnecessary to pray, to recite a sutra or to give a dharma talk. It is unnecessary to seek forgiveness, repentance or other methods.’ ‘Death gives me the feeling that I do not need to do anything. It is just as though I am telling someone I am coming to the end. I cannot do anything anymore. I give up. Whatever you want to do I will just accept.’ I feel that this passage is very near in meaning to the Pure Land’s view. It means when we die, we have just to let go as nothing can be done anymore. Most people die in torment as there are many attachments in this world. They are worried about their children, money and work. Some people find it difficult to die. So, from here we must learn to let go when it is our turn to leave the world. Moreover, we have the promise from Amitabha Buddha who will come to receive us in accord with the strength of his vows. It is much easier for us. This lady just let go and she entered another world. Her state should be quite high too. I will explain below. I feel that she had arrived at the border of the Pure Land. Her state of an awakened mind showed that she was not in the heaven. She seemed to be enlightened to the Buddha nature and non -existence of a self. She experienced the light of enlightenment and returned to life, to lead a life of love. So, in our practice we are told to let go of all attachment and to wish for a rebirth in the Pure Land relying on Amitabha’s strength of vows. So from here we can see it is very easy to be born in the World of Ultimate Bliss. She said it is unnecessary to recite a sutra, a dharma or seeking for forgiveness. She enters the other world naturally when she simply gives up herself. I remember once I went with my Master to console a dying man. I was very touched by my Master’s words. He said kindly to the man who is on the verge of death, ‘So and so, now we will recite Namo Amitabha Buddha. If you can recite, then recite together. If you can’t, just lay down and relax. It is ok if you just listen to our recitation.’ Are not these words very comforting? The dying man will feel very safe and relax. But if you were to say, ‘So and so, this is the last chance. Bring out all your strength to face death. If you can recite then recite together. If you cannot recite, you must try also!’ On listening to this threat, the sick man is stressed out. He will die instantly as he has no strength to join in recitation. The Master who with his great love understands the rescue of Amitabha Buddha is a natural process that he is able to say in such a comforting way. No condition is needed. There is no threat nor fright in his words. A man who threatens people is not calm as he must be frightened too in his mind. That is why what he says will frighten people, giving stress to others. If we are loving in our mind, our words will only bring love, peace and calm to others. People will feel our love for them. So, this lady says it is unnecessary to read or recite any prayer or seeking forgiveness. This is because the wavelength of her mind is on a par with the great love of the universe. She naturally enters it. Namo Amitabha Buddha is a dharma that requires no seeking or pleading. It is a dharma of rescue without condition. When we recite Namo Amitabha Buddha, the wavelength of our mind is the same as Amitabha Buddha. So, we will attain a rebirth naturally. Many of us who do not understand the kindness of Amitabha Buddha will seek a rebirth by pleading to the Buddha every day. His mind is unsettled and frightened that he might be left out. This is because he does not understand when he recites the Buddha’s name, the wavelength of his mind is in the same frequency with Amitabha Buddha’s mind and vows. Then people will ask, ‘Do we still go to recite the Buddha’s Name for the dying man?’ ‘Yes, of course.’ This is because the dying man has yet to understand this point. When we recite for him, he will be safe in the shine of Namo Amitabha Buddha. This is a method which is bestowed upon us to save us with this Name in accord with the strength of the Buddha’s vows. When she says to somebody, this refers to Amitabha Buddha. She says she cannot do anything anymore and she gives up. She gives herself up to the Buddha. So, when we die do not try to fight with death and refuse to die. We must just admit we are the offender and we need the help of Amitabha Buddha to take us, to rescue us. Namo is to admit we take refuge in the Buddha, we surrender ourselves. When we cultivate this door, we must not add in our ideas. We must just let Amitabha Buddha to decide for us. This is because Amitabha has the power of great vow, the extensive great strength of the Buddha Nature, the strength of immeasurable light, the strength of immeasurable lifespan. We just have to give up all planning. He will plan for us. So, when we recite the Name of the Buddha, just recite without thinking of doing this or that trying so hard to reach a certain acceptable standard. These are all unnecessary. This type of thinking is the habit of the sagely path cultivators. When we sit on the plane, just sit there. The plane will bring you to your destiny. It is unnecessary for you to help the plane to fly. Amitabha Buddha the pilot does not need you to fly the plane. If he needs your help then he is not known as Amitabha Buddha. Anita said, ‘In the other world, I found that my mind is very clear and bright. I realise by myself that I will only die out of the fear and terror in my mind.’ These words are very true. Clarity of mind means her mind is pure. In this world our mind is turbid, dark and deluded. That is why are enveloped in all kinds of worries and terror. But once we arrive at the Pure Land, we will naturally be pure and bright. This is because the land is pure and is enveloped in bright illumination. She said she naturally know she will be cured. This knowing ability is possessed by us originally. No learning is needed because our Buddha nature is originally pure and bright. In the Saha world our ability is being covered up by afflictions. But when we arrive at the World of Ultimate Bliss, we will naturally possess this ability. This ability reappears relying on the strength of Vows of Amitabha Buddha. When we arrive at the Pure Land, we will naturally possess the ability to make offerings to the Buddha. On hearing one sentence we are enlightened to the millions. Our mind is opened up to the thousands of million Dharanis. Everyone of us have this innate ability. And Amitabha Buddha’s strength of Vows enhances its opening. In this Saha World our innate nature is all covered up and cannot function. In the world of ultimate bliss, by relying on Amitabha Buddha’s strength of great vows, our innate ability is open up. So they are not contradicting. ‘I naturally know the source of the thought that I will die. The source is I was frightened. If there is no fear, there is no death.’ In actuality there is no death. It is only our fear of death that this illusion comes froth. In Buddha dharma we should know death itself is an illusion. Time is also an illusion. That is why the Buddha speaks all the Sutra in this manner, ‘Thus have I heard, at one time the Buddha was…..’ No specific time is stated. Now the physics has proven its illusory. As time is an illusion, it does not exist. Let me give you an example of what is meant by death. It is as if we are driving a car into a tunnel. The shape of the tunnel resembles that of a tomb. And we keep on driving into it. We say we are entering the tomb, that we are going to die soon. We are threatened as the entrance represents death. We continue on our journey in the tunnel and later leave the tunnel, again travelling on our way to another destiny. The entrance of the tunnel, the funeral wreath looks like the tomb. For us, death is a terrible idea that we are fearful of it. We do not know life is a continuity and there is no death. It is our wrong concept that there is this section of birth and death. No one can do anything about it until they personally realise it. ‘I am unable to live out my real self as I have too much worried.’ Most of us live in this world wearing a mask. If everyone of us is free to show our real self this is the most beautiful side of a self. Why cannot we live the way we should live? It is because we are always burdened with worries. We are worried we are not good enough. We are worried that our parents will scold us. We are worried our teacher will get angry and criticize us. We are worried about losing face. We only live for others. We lose our life away trying to accord to others’ expectation. We lose the light of a happy life. Our life is controlled by all these worrisome thoughts. But if we truly recite the Buddha’s Name, our mind will be at ease. Amitabha Buddha takes away our worries by replacing them with Namo Amitabha Buddha. We will realise all these worries and views are not important and we will gradually pay no attention to them. Our true life is Buddha recitation. That is our real identity. Our mind will be at ease as we will pay no attention to those unreal things, words and ideas. Our worries only arise when we care too much about the mundane matters. The author has not learnt about Buddhism. This is her experience in death. What she has written is very personal, true experience, not something that we learn from a book. Her experience gives her an awakening to the reality of life and she lives out her life in this awakening. I saw her video and I feel she is an enlightened person. An enlightened person may not be replete with spiritual penetration. But she will reveal her love in her daily living. She is calm at ease and without any sense of fear in her mind. She leads her life in a genuine way. She said, ‘I know that cancer is not a punishment neither is it a retribution. Cancer is my energy capacity which reveals itself on my body. Because of my fear I am unable to reveal the beautiful self in me. And this is the job which should be carried out by me. I know that cancer is not a punishment which is forced on me. It is not an external force of retribution.’ This is what we often do when certain things happen, we will try to find an excuse or put the blame on reward or retribution. We treat the misfortune with anger and hatred. We often have this tendency to catogorise every happening in accord with the cause or reason. In Buddhism we talk about cause and effect. As she is not a Buddhist she says, ‘Cancer appears as a result of a change in my energy capacity. This energy shows itself in the form of cancer.’ This is because she lives in fear and worries. She does not live out her real happy self. So if we the Buddha recitation cultivators are able to reveal the bright side of life, to live without worries, there will be no more cancer for us. This is her understanding about life. That is why I have often said, ‘Lead a life of a mundane man and recite the Buddha’s Name sincerely.’ We should lead a life of Amitabha Buddha. Our life will be full of light and blessings. And we will become more loving. Finally we will lead a comfortable life and people around us will be comfortable also. This itself is the propagation of the dharma of love. Otherwise, if we cannot live a loving life, there is no point talking about anything as they will be useless. Anita said, ‘In that state which is vast and limitless, I found that I am too strict with myself. I keep on whipping myself.’ Can we feel the existence of being vast and limitless? No. We are often limited by our surrounding. As she had entered the limitless vastness, she is able to know her whole life. She knows her fault is being too strict with herself. In fact, most of us are very strict with ourselves, demanding ourselves to be like this or that. She said, ‘No one is punishing me. The person whom I cannot forgive is I myself. I have abandoned myself. I do not love myself. This matter is none of others’ business.’ No one from outside comes to punish us. It is we who punish ourselves. We cannot forgive our selves. We add on a lot of unnecessary locks and chains on ourselves. What is more for us the Buddha reciters? If we recite the Buddha’s name and on the other hand, we add on ourselves lots of locks and chains whence Amitabha Buddha is trying to unlock us, isn’t this a most pitiful situation?’ She said that she had abandoned herself. It means we throw ourselves away and become a lone ranger, an isolated person living a life of sadness, a live without love. Look at a baby. Her eyes are clear as the baby is a simple being, just like a simple puppies or baby cat. The baby can play with chickens, puppis as she does not give rise to diffentiation. Not everyone of us is like Anita. But every one of us can recite the Buddha’s name. When we recite the Buddha’s name, we will be calm. Amitabha Buddha said, ‘In the world of fear I comfort them with great love.’ It is because all the worries are gone when we accomplish Buddhahood at the Pure Land. We will not be so worried about our poverty, health problem, ugliness, stupidity, inability to recite a sutra, a mantra. All these are unimportant as finally I will become a Buddha in the Buddha Land. We will be more humorous. For example, if we are ugly we will use it as a joke. It does not matter at all. Because all the external states are not you. The real self, our real life is the Buddha’s Name. It is our true identity. It will bring ease to our mind. A baby is pure. But as it grows up, it starts to abandon himself. A baby resembles a glass of pure water. When he grows up, his greed starts to accumulate when he wants a toy, a book, good results, money, benefits, fame women and so on. All these are placed in the glass of water. Everything is a piece of mud that we put in out glass. The more we put into the glass, the more the water will flow out. This water is the genuine self. We abandon the true self, chase it out with our greed. We fill ourselves with all the rubbish. The genuine blessings and bliss are chased away. We lead an opaque life without transparency. Our life become a glass of muddy water and we live in great torment. The more we obtain, the more we lose ourselves. That is why the Buddha is truly kind. He and his disciples lead a life of a beggar. When you have nothing, you will be happy and relax. The mind retains its purity. Human beings are deluded as they think to possess a wife, children, a house, a car are called blessings. A man who truly loves himself does not love money, sex, fame, food, sleep. These five desires are the knives that will cut us into pieces and bring on great sufferings. Anita said, ‘I realise I am the child of the beautiful universe. As long as I exist, I will obtain this unconditional love.’ This is very good. I would like to make the following changes, ‘I realize that I am the son of the adorned Amitabha Buddha.’ In Buddhism we use adorned to replace the word beautiful. The universe is this Amitabha Buddha. In the Sutra we are told Amitabha Buddha is the Treasury Body of the Dharma Realm. Amitabha Buddha exists in the whole of the Dharma Realm. Of course, there are also the reward body and transformation bodies beside the dharma body. Amitabha Buddha is the immeasurable wisdom and lifespan. Anita says that the universal energy is abundant and inexhaustible, vast and without limits. This is the existence of the Buddha Nature. She says as long as she exists, she will surely obtain the unconditional love. I often also say, ‘No conditions are required for us to receive the love and rescue of Amitabha Buddha.’ Let us take the analogy of a tree. As long as it exists, it will receive the sunlight. No other condition is needed. So it is the same for the house and everything on earth. Amitabha Buddha’s Name is also known as the Light that Far-surpassing the Sun and Moon. Amitabha Buddha’s light pervasively illumines all the living beings and things in the world. As long as we exist, we will receive the light of the Buddha, the protection of his loving kindness and rescue. It is unnecessary for us to become somebody so as to receive the unconditional rescue of Amitabha Buddha. Our Master Hui Jing also wrote a book on the ‘Unconditional Rescue of the Buddha.’ Some people cannot believe. He says, ‘If this is the case everyone will commit evils.’ Such a thinking is negative and full of fear as his mind is dwelling in darkness. He is afraid that the world will go upside down. He cannot understand that as long as there is the existence, may they be a cat, a dog, a hell being, they will be taken care of by Amitabha Buddha. The only condition is they exist. This reminds me of the words of Great Master Tan Luan, ‘The future scholars who hear about the rescue of the Buddha, the rescue that relies on other’s strength, he should give rise to faith. Do not refuse such a chance. It is being stupid.’ Do not think that you should do this and that to obtain the rescue? Amitabha Buddha did not ask you to do anything. He says, ‘Living beings in the ten directions who have faith in me.’ It means they exist and the Buddha will be there to save them. Buddha recitation is not a condition. It is just a method of saving. Anita says, ‘I do not have to do anything to obtain this love.’ Just like a blade of grass in the water. Does it need to do anything to obtain water? It is unnecessary. As long as it exists, it is surrounded by the water. As long as we exist, we are surrounded by the love of Amitabha Buddha. We do not need to do anything to obtain this love and care. Once we know this, we will be fearless and calm at ease. This is the same as the sunlight which shine on the mountain and also the valley. In our life no matter what level we are we will receive the illumination of Amitabha Buddha. Anita says, ‘No prayer, no seeking is needed.’ Amitabha’s rescue is there always. As long as we recite, we will be saved by him. Amitabha Buddha says, ‘All living beings in the ten directions who call on me will be saved by me. You only have to say out my name.’ You say you are dumb and cannot call the name. Such a man who understands the rescue of Buddha will also be saved even if he cannot pronounce the Name. But if you are unwilling, you are creating an obstacle for yourself. That is why our dharma door is known as the ‘The Dharma is taught without being asked.’, the ‘Befriend us without being asked’. As long as we trust him, he will come personally to take us to his Pure Land. On hearing that nothing is needed to be done, some will be confused. They want to do something, to clean the altar, to change the water, to offer some fruits and incense, to sit in meditation and so on. They think this will help them to attain a rebirth. They have to do something. They do not realise what they need to do is to reveal the beautiful self, to lead the adorned life and let themselves become the love. As long as we sit there and lead a loving life we are in accord with the love of the Buddha Amitabha. When the sun is shining, you say, ‘It is good. A shiny day.’ When it is raining, you say, ‘Very good. It is raining now.’ When it snows, you say, ‘Good, I love snow.’ This way of living is to add the positive loving energy to this universe. You are spreading the pure and harmony energy to the universe. In the Buddha Dharma it is known as the lights shine on one another. The whole universe will receive the positive energy of your loving and harmonious mind. So, what you need to do is to recite Namo Amitabha Budda loudly, softly, silently. All will be ok. If we live this way, Amitabha Buddha will be most happy to see us. It is just like a child who is sleeping in the cradle. Doing nothing. What do you think? Will the mother be happy to see him like that? Yes, of course. She will be very glad with him just sleeping there. Nothing has to be done. A child in the arms of his mother is the revelation of total trust. And this is the same for us to be in the arms of Amitabha Buddha. We just relax and trust him. We will lead a happy life. And this is the genuine way of living in accord with the love of oneself. More often than not we lead a life with worries, fear, twisted emotions and trying to cover up our faults. Our adorned life cannot be revealed. Everyday, we live in fear and worries. This is adding chains and locks to ourselves. Anita says, ‘I have never truly loved myself before. I have never valued my existence. I have never seen the adorned soul in me.’ She uses soul to describe herself. In the Buddha Dharma this refers to the beauty and adorned Buddha Nature. She said, ‘I am so beautiful yet I have never realised it. It is replaced with the hard facts of mundane existence. I decay because I do not understand my beautiful soul.’ In the Buddha Dharma it is described as all living beings are originally the Buddha. Yet we do not live, in accord with our Buddha Nature. We are often controlled by our mundane existence, the salary, the examination results and such like. We forget of our Buddha Nature. We lead a life of decay, a life of erosion. This is the General path of Buddhism. From the angle of Buddha Recitation, the rescue of Amitabha is always with us, only that we do not realise it. We try all kinds of methods hoping for the Buddha to rescue us. We do not know that we just have to admit we are the mundane men who are covered with offences. There is no other way to save ourselves if we do not rely on Amitabha Buddha. Then we let go and recite the Buddha’s Name wholeheartedly. This is the way to be saved by the Buddha. But most people cannot understand this. They want to do something good, to be pretentious and make out something good of himself, to scold people for their lacking in virtues and such like. This is against the practise of this pure land door. Why cannot the people in the world see their pretention? It is because they are also not living a true life. Their eyes are not clear enough to see through this pretention. A fake man sees something fake and he will treat it as genuine. A clear -headed man will surely be able to see through all these false masks. If we were to wear a false mask for too long it will be difficult to remove it. It has grown on to our skin. It will be painful if we want to remove this fake mask. So it takes time for us to loosen this false mask as we have been wearing them for too long. Anita says, ‘This understanding makes me realise that I do not have to be frightened anymore.’ There is no more fear in her mind. It is a mind of calm and bliss. It is a mind which is full of hope. It is a comforting mind that can soothe others. With this calm and happy mind it is already a contribution to all around us. It is already a protection and mindfulness to all around us. We do not have to do anything at all. Most of us live in fear. We pay for insurance because we are afraid when we get old, we have no money, no money to pay the medical fees. We get married out of fear that we will be lonely. Why do we give birth to children? We are afraid no one will take care of us at old age. Why do we go to school? It is because we are afraid of our mother’s anger. Why must we study hard? We are afraid of our teacher. Why do we go to university? We are afraid people will look down on us. Can we live without fear? We cannot. Even our mother who loves us so much say we will suffer if we do not study hard. From our young age we receive the education of fear. We are threatened by our beloved parents, our responsible teachers. We do not receive the education of love. So, if we love our children, do not add fear to them. We must give only love and courage so that they can face life with their original positive energy, positive strength. This is because the world is full of twisted people, fake people, suffering people. There are very few upright men, genuine men, happy and hopeful men around. I only hope all of you my lotus friends will bring up a future generation who is upright, genuine, happy and hopeful with the strength of Amitabha Buddha. So, we must lead a life based on the right values taught by Amitabha Buddha. If we teach our child to fight for self -benefit, to contend with others, we are making them blind so that they do not see the truth of life. This is harming them. If we are enlightened to this, we will only rely on Amitabha Buddha. We are not afraid to be lonely. We will be at ease. Those who see the light, the warmth of the Buddha will no longer be frightened. Anita says, ‘I realise this is a state that can be reached by myself and everyone.’ In Zen sect it is said all living beings are Buddha. In the Buddha recitation door, everyone can recite the Name, everyone can attain a rebirth and everyone can accomplish Buddhahood. This is the bestowment by Amitabha Buddha. All the things that we fight for may not be beneficial to us. Everything that benefits us are often free. For example, the air we take in every instant is free. We do not pay to stand on the earth. We do not pay to look at the sky above. Whatever we fight and earn to get are valueless. Everything that is valuable is free. In the general practice it is said, ‘No cultivation is the cultivation. Nothing is obtainable. This is the state of a bodhisattva. The original face of all dharma often dwells in the mark of still extinction. Our Buddha Nature is replete with all merits and virtues. We cannot cultivate anything to enhance it. This is because all the things that we can do are only dreams, illusion, bubbles and shadow. Whatever that we do, that we create are not in accord with our Buddha Nature. The Buddha Nature is always there, original and shining out naturally. And in our Pure Land Dharma, whatever we have offered, whatever we have done are not the causes for our attainment of a rebirth. Attaining a rebirth is the state of nothing doing. It stays apart from creation or doing. It is a natural state. Reciting Namo Amitabha Buddha helps us to return to this state. Anita said, ‘So I decided to return to the mundane world.’ She has enlightened to the opportunity of life and she decided to come back to tell us about life. Just like many Pure Land cultivators who say that they will not come back any more to sufferings. Yet when they arrive at the Pure Land and brings forth the Bodhi mind, they will come back by themselves to help other beings. Anita said, ‘When I was on the verge of death, I realised the universe comes forth from unconditional love. I am one of the revelations of this love in my present form.’ For the scientists they will say the universe is made from electron, protons, neutrons and so on. This is talking only at the surface level, the materials. But as she talked from her true experienc,e she can see all the things, all the people are the expression of this universal love. When she comes back from death, she deeply penetrates the genuine love the mother universe and her wavelength is in accord with the universal love. She comes back as a healthy woman. So once there is a change in our mind set, the body, the people and the surroundings will also change. In the eyes of Buddha and Bodhisattva there is no differentiation of filth and purity. Everything is pure and adorned in its own expression. Every one of us is the art piece of this unconditional love or in the Buddha’s words, the Buddha Nature. She said, ‘I cannot change into another form as it is my original expression, original nature of this unconditional love.’ Everything that exists is the expression of the Buddha Nature. Even something which is defiled or unwholesome is also part of the expression of this unconditional everlasting love. That is why the Buddha says, ‘All the Dharma from the original state dwells constantly in still extinction.’ Still extinction refers to Nirvana the state of the Buddha. So, when we recite the Buddha’s Name we will enter the Buddha’s dwelling. ‘The energy capacity of the strength of life forms derives from love. And I am made from the universal energy capacity. On knowing this, I realise I do not need to become somebody else. And my true value will not be depreciated too.’ Anita said, So, it is unnecessary for us to become another man. A business man does not need to become Jack Ma. Why is this so? It is because you are equal to him. He is not higher than you. He has the Buddha Nature and you also have the Buddha Nature. Every one is equal. So we do not need to measure in terms of money especially if we truly know the benefits of Buddha recitation. In the eyes of the Buddha every one of us is a shining star. We do not need to chase after another star. Just imagine the havoc it will be when the stars do not dwell in its orbit and try to chase after another star. What a chaos the universe will become. Everyone of our existence is in perfect conditions in the eyes of the Buddha and Bodhisattva. ‘This is the I that I have always wanted to be.’ she said. We must learn to appreciate ourselves, accept ourselves and love ourselves. This ‘I’ is invaluable under the unconditional love of the Rescue of Amitabha Buddha. We are his precious sons, the pearls on his hand. If we are accepted by the Buddha, we will be so happy as we will have no complaint about ourselves. We are often surrounded by people who keep on complaining about us. The first one is our mother who says that we are not clever, we have low marks. We are not filial. We earn too little. See how our mother teaches us not to appreciate ourselves. Then we are blamed by our teacher, our classmates, our girl -friend and so on. Then comes Amitabha Buddha who studies us and says, ‘Put aside all the complaints. You are qualified to attain Buddhahood. No problem at all. I give you 100 percent.’ That is why we Buddha Recitation Practitioners are always at ease under the shine of Amitabha Buddha who give us the confirmation. This is the greatest benefits the Buddha bestows upon us. Buddhism brings hope and bliss to the world, the universe. So, in this life’s time we must try our best to lead a life of Amitabha Buddha. Do not be swayed by the mundane values, mundane eyes, mundane perspective. We rely only on the outlook of the Buddha and Bodhisattva. ‘Once we know that we are this love, it is unnecessary to purposely go forth to shower love on others. As long as we are faithful to our original nature, we will automatically become the tools of love, touching the hearts of everyone who have affinity with us.’ This part of her speech is very good. If we are already the lamp, there is no need for us to go out purposely to shine on others. The lamp just stands at its place and it manages to brighten up the place. So, when we are the LOVE, we will naturally touch those around us with our love. Take a look at our Master Hui Jing. He sits there quietly and yet every one of us are calm and happy naturally. So when we become the love, wherever we are, all will feel calm at ease, without any fear. Anita said, ‘The most important thing I have learnt is I am the Love itself. All my fears are gone. This is the reason I come into life again.’ Amitabha Buddha said, ‘I will transform all the fear into great calmness, great serenity’ When We recite His Name we are charged with his love. We also become the love. We will leave behind all fear. ‘My dear, you will always be loved. You do not need to harbour any fear. There is no way for you to commit any errors.’ Always think about these three sentences. There is the light of truth in it. This is spoken by a non -Buddhist who was on the verge of her death and who lives again. How about us the Buddha Recitation Practitioners? Can we deny the love of Amitabha Buddha, His unconditional love of rescue? From this story we know the unconditional love of rescue of the Buddha pervasively surrounds us. We must have faith in this and lead a life of joy with no more fear. Nowadays, everyone lives in fear. We must learn to replete ourselves with love and bring this shine to others, to lead them out of fear. Love yourself and love others. Namo Amitabha Buddha. A dharma talk by Dharma Master Shi Jing Zong, the Abbot of the Hong Yuan Monastery in Anhui, China entitled: Dying Once to Learn to Love

The origin of the Ecoracles can be traced back to a planet called Earth. Earth was a small, beautiful planet, adorned with lush forests, vast oceans, and towering mountains. The humans that inhabited the planet reigned for thousands of years. Their advancement in technology was truly impressive, however, with their great power came great irresponsibility.
As fascinating as their technology was, many of their practices were slowly deteriorating their planet. The sky, once a clear, bright blue, turned a dull gray from pollution. Rivers, once teeming with life, flowed with hazardous toxins. Forests were cut down to make way for sprawling cities and factories. Despite the growing evidence of their harm, humans continued on their path, driven by a desire for convenience and profit.
Over the years, a plethora of movements rose and fell, each striving to combat the pollution of Earth. Passionate individuals gathered in protest, scientists presented alarming data, and environmentalists pleaded for change. But their messages often fell on deaf ears. Those in power were more concerned with their own wealth and influence than the well-being of the planet.
Among these movements was a small, obscure organization called Ecoracle. They were thought of as a quaint bunch. The leaders of Ecoracle claimed they could communicate with nature itself. Each of them said they had a specific aspect of nature they communicated with. Some spoke to the trees, others conversed with the rivers, there were those who spoke to the clouds.
The Ecoracles sought to be the bridge between humans and the natural world. However, their message, like so many others before them, did not bring forth the change they desired. The leaders and influencers of society dismissed the Ecoracles as eccentrics. They had no interest in what the Ecoracles or any other movement had to say, only focused on producing profits for themselves by any means necessary. Factories continued to belch smoke into the air, rivers continued to be polluted, and forests continued to fall.
It was only when Earth was near the end of its lifespan that those with power were ready to hear what the Ecoracles and many like them had to say. But it was too late by then; the harm they had done to Earth was irreversible. The once-vibrant planet was now on the brink of collapse.
All hope appeared to be lost, but the drive of the human spirit should never be underestimated. As if it were a miracle, humans attained interstellar travel. They created massive spacecrafts that could carry a country’s worth of people at once. These spacecrafts were equipped with everything necessary to sustain life for generations. They became floating worlds, homes for humans and animals alike.
Humans and animals boarded these spacecrafts, leaving the dying Earth behind. Generations upon countless generations lived their entire lives aboard these vessels, drifting through the vast expanse of space in search of a new home.
One of the few things that remained constant were the Ecoracles. They continued to spread their teachings, emphasizing the importance of living in harmony with nature, respecting the balance of ecosystems, and cherishing the resources they had.
Life on the spacecrafts was a difficult challenge, but humanity adapted. Gardens flourished under artificial lights, animals roamed in carefully designed habitats, and communities formed. The Ecoracles played a crucial role, guiding the people in sustainable practices and fostering a deep connection with the environment, even in the artificial confines of the spacecrafts.
After an immeasurable amount of time, they finally reached their destination: a habitable planet outside of their solar system. The planet was a lush, vibrant world, teeming with life. As they began to cultivate this new planet, the teachings of the Ecoracles had become so ingrained into their culture that it was second nature to them.
The people of this planet worked diligently to build a society that lived in harmony with nature. They built homes that blended seamlessly into the landscape, cultivated crops using sustainable methods, and ensured that the natural habitats of animals were preserved. They used their advanced technology not to dominate the environment, but to protect and enhance it.
The memory of Earth had been lost, but the newest inhabitants of this planet knew that they mustn’t pollute the place they called home. The lessons of the Ecoracles had now become a core part of the humans.
Eventually, humans' interstellar travel capabilities evolved to the point where they could traverse beyond their galaxy and find habitable planets within a single lifetime. No matter where they went, their objective remained the same, to populate planets while preserving nature.
At this point, the term "Ecoracle" had grown beyond its original meaning. It now referred to someone possessing supernatural abilities that allowed them to harness the power of nature itself. These new Ecoracles could communicate with the elements, each specializing in a different aspect of nature. They were revered and respected, seen as the protectors of balance and harmony in every new world they settled.
Alongside the emergence of the recent rendition of Ecoracles, came strange creatures that began to appear. These beings couldn't be explained through natural means. They were not animals, but more akin to supernatural entities that embodied specific aspects of nature. Some were beautiful and awe-inspiring. Others were grotesque and malevolent.
These malevolent beings sought to pollute and destroy everything humans and Ecoracles fought so hard to protect. They could poison rivers, wither crops, and deteriorate forests with a mere touch. Their existence posed a grave threat to the universe if they went unchecked.
The Ecoracles took it upon themselves to protect their new homes from these malicious beings. They formed a dedicated order, trained to combat their forces that threatened to destroy everything.
These destructive beings were too powerful for normal humans to handle. Only Ecoracles, equipped with abilities specifically attuned to combating these entities, had any hope of defeating them. Their unique set of powers made them the only ones capable of facing the supernatural threats head-on.
They served as a constant reminder of what could happen if humans were reckless with their new homes. However, humanity possessed something greater: their ability to adapt and rise above any challenge. This resilience was their greatest strength, a trait that had allowed them to survive and thrive, even after the pollution of Earth.
Some speculated that the sudden emergence of supernatural beings was born from the universe itself. The idea that the universe had sentience seemed absurd, but it was the only conclusion that could somewhat be rationalized.
Through humanity’s spirit and determination to defend their new homes, it seemed as if the universe had manifested a way to communicate with them. This theory suggested that the Ecoracles, with their burning desire to protect the universe, were bestowed their powers.
The Ecoracles are regarded as heroes, figures of immense admiration and respect. They have become legends, their deeds immortalized in the Tales of the Ecoracles. These tales are shared across generations as a source of inspiration and guidance for all. The stories are not just about their supernatural powers, but also about their bravery, wisdom, and unwavering commitment to preserving the balance of nature.

In the Era of Fear I Comfort them with Great Love
Anita Moorjani was cured from cancer not because of a certain medicine, vaccine or chemotherapy. She was cured because of this Great Love. Anita Moorjani is a forty years old woman who is simple and honest. She was born in India, grew up in Singapore and was English educated. Later she went to Hong Kong. She knows Tamil, English and Cantonese. In 2002 the doctor said that she was down with cancer lymphoma or the blood cell tumor. After four years, in 2006 seventy percent of her body is covered with the cancerous cells. She stayed in the hospital, suffering terribly because of this illness. Later the doctor pronounced her death. After three days she woke up and was cured miraculously. This is truly inconceivable when she woke up from her death. In her mind she was very sure she was cured already. No treatment was needed. But she was very weak. She could not even talk. The doctor was surprised of her condition and again they carried out a checking on her body and found that she was free from all symptoms of cancer. In her mind she knew she was already cured. In her mind there was a great transformation that she personally experienced. And all the cells on her body were transformed into healthy cells. Later she wrote a book entitles: After dying once I finally learn to love’ By looking at this title, it coincides with Master Shan Dao’s teaching on the one with deep faith in the dharma. He said, ‘Standing here is waiting to die. Going forward is also death. Turning back, I too cannot escape from death.’ This can be found in the ‘Analogy of two rivers and one white lane’ the three sure deaths. If we have died once, we will truly give ourselves up. This is the same as the Pure Land teaching that we have to admit we are the sinful mundane man. We lose all hope as we have no ways to leave the triple realm. In cultivation we need to really undergo a total death in order to really practise the path. The zen cultivator says this is known as undergoing great death and great living. Otherwise, no real cultivation can be expected because most of us are very arrogant, very self-centred, without much changes in our stubborn mindset. That is why she said after dying once only she managed to learn how to love. In the Pure Land door this is known as having deep faith. Such a man will surely have faith in Amitabha’s 48 vows to gather in living beings without any doubts and suspicion. By relying on the strength of the Buddha’s Vows we will surely attain a rebirth. This is living in the great love of Namo Amitabha Buddha. We receive the love of Amitabha Buddha. Only then we can have the genuine love and we are able to learn to love. If we do not feel the love of Amitabha Buddha, we will not know how to love. Our love will be frightening as it is an attachment, a desire to control, to possess others. Such a love is impure, it is a threat to us. If we are not careful it might turn into hatred. Such is a frightful kind of love. If we learn from Amitabha Buddha, the love is pure, without condition and transparent. This is truly loving a person. It is not easy to learn this. We look at the couples around us. So many got married and end up in divorce. How about those who do not get a divorce? Yes, they spend the whole life fighting！The truly loving couples are as few as the stars in the broad day light. So, learning to love is our homework for the whole life. It is not easy. Today I would like to discuss this passage with you. After reading her writing I feel most shameful as what the author has said is very true in accord with her experience. Even though I have left home for more than twenty years, receiving the teaching of the Buddha, the guidance of the patriarch, the exhortation of my Master, the help of my lotus friends and all, I still feel I am lacking in genuine practice and virtues. On the contrary this lady has not met with the Buddha Dharma. She has such an awakening after dying once, it is truly a gain for her. She said, ‘After my body stopped functioning, I entered into another world.’ She was so seriously ill that her heart, her liver and everything stopped functioning. This is to show there is a world after death. She said, ‘I saw myself as a very wonderful person. This is because I was not terrorised until I had a change in shape.’ ‘I felt there was this vibrant energy around me and I was able to enter it. I realise if a man can see his wonderful existence, he must be the happiest man.’ Most of us like to complain about our imperfect existence. We often think thus, ‘I do not have enough money. I am not healthy. I am not pretty. I do not have enough clothing ….’ Here we must learn to see the good points in us, to appreciate the value of our existence. A woman who can say like this is truly very calm in mind. A man who always complains about himself will not be able to live happily each day. So, without knowing the love of Amitabha for us, we will be a great complainer. We complain about no money, we complain about our look, our wrinkles and so on and so forth. What kind of life will this be with so many complaints? She said, ‘I found that there was this power surrounding me.’ When we pass away, we will no longer be using our eyes, ears, nose, tongue, body and mind to observe. Instead, we will be awakened to our innate Buddha. She felt she is surrounded by this vibrant field of energy and she is also this energy. What kind of power is this? It is a kind of energy. It is always in the universe or the dharma realm in the Buddhist terms. In fact, this is Amitabha Buddha. This is the strength of the Buddha Nature. She uses her Buddha Nature to experience the Buddha Nature. It exists forever. It is neither born nor become extinct. If the Buddha enters the world or does not enter the world, it is always there without changing. Of course, she does not use these Buddhist terms. She said, ‘When I give up the attachment to the mundane world, I enter another world effortlessly. It is unnecessary to pray, to recite a sutra or to give a dharma talk. It is unnecessary to seek forgiveness, repentance or other methods.’ ‘Death gives me the feeling that I do not need to do anything. It is just as though I am telling someone I am coming to the end. I cannot do anything anymore. I give up. Whatever you want to do I will just accept.’ I feel that this passage is very near in meaning to the Pure Land’s view. It means when we die, we have just to let go as nothing can be done anymore. Most people die in torment as there are many attachments in this world. They are worried about their children, money and work. Some people find it difficult to die. So, from here we must learn to let go when it is our turn to leave the world. Moreover, we have the promise from Amitabha Buddha who will come to receive us in accord with the strength of his vows. It is much easier for us. This lady just let go and she entered another world. Her state should be quite high too. I will explain below. I feel that she had arrived at the border of the Pure Land. Her state of an awakened mind showed that she was not in the heaven. She seemed to be enlightened to the Buddha nature and non -existence of a self. She experienced the light of enlightenment and returned to life, to lead a life of love. So, in our practice we are told to let go of all attachment and to wish for a rebirth in the Pure Land relying on Amitabha’s strength of vows. So from here we can see it is very easy to be born in the World of Ultimate Bliss. She said it is unnecessary to recite a sutra, a dharma or seeking for forgiveness. She enters the other world naturally when she simply gives up herself. I remember once I went with my Master to console a dying man. I was very touched by my Master’s words. He said kindly to the man who is on the verge of death, ‘So and so, now we will recite Namo Amitabha Buddha. If you can recite, then recite together. If you can’t, just lay down and relax. It is ok if you just listen to our recitation.’ Are not these words very comforting? The dying man will feel very safe and relax. But if you were to say, ‘So and so, this is the last chance. Bring out all your strength to face death. If you can recite then recite together. If you cannot recite, you must try also!’ On listening to this threat, the sick man is stressed out. He will die instantly as he has no strength to join in recitation. The Master who with his great love understands the rescue of Amitabha Buddha is a natural process that he is able to say in such a comforting way. No condition is needed. There is no threat nor fright in his words. A man who threatens people is not calm as he must be frightened too in his mind. That is why what he says will frighten people, giving stress to others. If we are loving in our mind, our words will only bring love, peace and calm to others. People will feel our love for them. So, this lady says it is unnecessary to read or recite any prayer or seeking forgiveness. This is because the wavelength of her mind is on a par with the great love of the universe. She naturally enters it. Namo Amitabha Buddha is a dharma that requires no seeking or pleading. It is a dharma of rescue without condition. When we recite Namo Amitabha Buddha, the wavelength of our mind is the same as Amitabha Buddha. So, we will attain a rebirth naturally. Many of us who do not understand the kindness of Amitabha Buddha will seek a rebirth by pleading to the Buddha every day. His mind is unsettled and frightened that he might be left out. This is because he does not understand when he recites the Buddha’s name, the wavelength of his mind is in the same frequency with Amitabha Buddha’s mind and vows. Then people will ask, ‘Do we still go to recite the Buddha’s Name for the dying man?’ ‘Yes, of course.’ This is because the dying man has yet to understand this point. When we recite for him, he will be safe in the shine of Namo Amitabha Buddha. This is a method which is bestowed upon us to save us with this Name in accord with the strength of the Buddha’s vows. When she says to somebody, this refers to Amitabha Buddha. She says she cannot do anything anymore and she gives up. She gives herself up to the Buddha. So, when we die do not try to fight with death and refuse to die. We must just admit we are the offender and we need the help of Amitabha Buddha to take us, to rescue us. Namo is to admit we take refuge in the Buddha, we surrender ourselves. When we cultivate this door, we must not add in our ideas. We must just let Amitabha Buddha to decide for us. This is because Amitabha has the power of great vow, the extensive great strength of the Buddha Nature, the strength of immeasurable light, the strength of immeasurable lifespan. We just have to give up all planning. He will plan for us. So, when we recite the Name of the Buddha, just recite without thinking of doing this or that trying so hard to reach a certain acceptable standard. These are all unnecessary. This type of thinking is the habit of the sagely path cultivators. When we sit on the plane, just sit there. The plane will bring you to your destiny. It is unnecessary for you to help the plane to fly. Amitabha Buddha the pilot does not need you to fly the plane. If he needs your help then he is not known as Amitabha Buddha. Anita said, ‘In the other world, I found that my mind is very clear and bright. I realise by myself that I will only die out of the fear and terror in my mind.’ These words are very true. Clarity of mind means her mind is pure. In this world our mind is turbid, dark and deluded. That is why are enveloped in all kinds of worries and terror. But once we arrive at the Pure Land, we will naturally be pure and bright. This is because the land is pure and is enveloped in bright illumination. She said she naturally know she will be cured. This knowing ability is possessed by us originally. No learning is needed because our Buddha nature is originally pure and bright. In the Saha world our ability is being covered up by afflictions. But when we arrive at the World of Ultimate Bliss, we will naturally possess this ability. This ability reappears relying on the strength of Vows of Amitabha Buddha. When we arrive at the Pure Land, we will naturally possess the ability to make offerings to the Buddha. On hearing one sentence we are enlightened to the millions. Our mind is opened up to the thousands of million Dharanis. Everyone of us have this innate ability. And Amitabha Buddha’s strength of Vows enhances its opening. In this Saha World our innate nature is all covered up and cannot function. In the world of ultimate bliss, by relying on Amitabha Buddha’s strength of great vows, our innate ability is open up. So they are not contradicting. ‘I naturally know the source of the thought that I will die. The source is I was frightened. If there is no fear, there is no death.’ In actuality there is no death. It is only our fear of death that this illusion comes froth. In Buddha dharma we should know death itself is an illusion. Time is also an illusion. That is why the Buddha speaks all the Sutra in this manner, ‘Thus have I heard, at one time the Buddha was…..’ No specific time is stated. Now the physics has proven its illusory. As time is an illusion, it does not exist. Let me give you an example of what is meant by death. It is as if we are driving a car into a tunnel. The shape of the tunnel resembles that of a tomb. And we keep on driving into it. We say we are entering the tomb, that we are going to die soon. We are threatened as the entrance represents death. We continue on our journey in the tunnel and later leave the tunnel, again travelling on our way to another destiny. The entrance of the tunnel, the funeral wreath looks like the tomb. For us, death is a terrible idea that we are fearful of it. We do not know life is a continuity and there is no death. It is our wrong concept that there is this section of birth and death. No one can do anything about it until they personally realise it. ‘I am unable to live out my real self as I have too much worried.’ Most of us live in this world wearing a mask. If everyone of us is free to show our real self this is the most beautiful side of a self. Why cannot we live the way we should live? It is because we are always burdened with worries. We are worried we are not good enough. We are worried that our parents will scold us. We are worried our teacher will get angry and criticize us. We are worried about losing face. We only live for others. We lose our life away trying to accord to others’ expectation. We lose the light of a happy life. Our life is controlled by all these worrisome thoughts. But if we truly recite the Buddha’s Name, our mind will be at ease. Amitabha Buddha takes away our worries by replacing them with Namo Amitabha Buddha. We will realise all these worries and views are not important and we will gradually pay no attention to them. Our true life is Buddha recitation. That is our real identity. Our mind will be at ease as we will pay no attention to those unreal things, words and ideas. Our worries only arise when we care too much about the mundane matters. The author has not learnt about Buddhism. This is her experience in death. What she has written is very personal, true experience, not something that we learn from a book. Her experience gives her an awakening to the reality of life and she lives out her life in this awakening. I saw her video and I feel she is an enlightened person. An enlightened person may not be replete with spiritual penetration. But she will reveal her love in her daily living. She is calm at ease and without any sense of fear in her mind. She leads her life in a genuine way. She said, ‘I know that cancer is not a punishment neither is it a retribution. Cancer is my energy capacity which reveals itself on my body. Because of my fear I am unable to reveal the beautiful self in me. And this is the job which should be carried out by me. I know that cancer is not a punishment which is forced on me. It is not an external force of retribution.’ This is what we often do when certain things happen, we will try to find an excuse or put the blame on reward or retribution. We treat the misfortune with anger and hatred. We often have this tendency to catogorise every happening in accord with the cause or reason. In Buddhism we talk about cause and effect. As she is not a Buddhist she says, ‘Cancer appears as a result of a change in my energy capacity. This energy shows itself in the form of cancer.’ This is because she lives in fear and worries. She does not live out her real happy self. So if we the Buddha recitation cultivators are able to reveal the bright side of life, to live without worries, there will be no more cancer for us. This is her understanding about life. That is why I have often said, ‘Lead a life of a mundane man and recite the Buddha’s Name sincerely.’ We should lead a life of Amitabha Buddha. Our life will be full of light and blessings. And we will become more loving. Finally we will lead a comfortable life and people around us will be comfortable also. This itself is the propagation of the dharma of love. Otherwise, if we cannot live a loving life, there is no point talking about anything as they will be useless. Anita said, ‘In that state which is vast and limitless, I found that I am too strict with myself. I keep on whipping myself.’ Can we feel the existence of being vast and limitless? No. We are often limited by our surrounding. As she had entered the limitless vastness, she is able to know her whole life. She knows her fault is being too strict with herself. In fact, most of us are very strict with ourselves, demanding ourselves to be like this or that. She said, ‘No one is punishing me. The person whom I cannot forgive is I myself. I have abandoned myself. I do not love myself. This matter is none of others’ business.’ No one from outside comes to punish us. It is we who punish ourselves. We cannot forgive our selves. We add on a lot of unnecessary locks and chains on ourselves. What is more for us the Buddha reciters? If we recite the Buddha’s name and on the other hand, we add on ourselves lots of locks and chains whence Amitabha Buddha is trying to unlock us, isn’t this a most pitiful situation?’ She said that she had abandoned herself. It means we throw ourselves away and become a lone ranger, an isolated person living a life of sadness, a live without love. Look at a baby. Her eyes are clear as the baby is a simple being, just like a simple puppies or baby cat. The baby can play with chickens, puppis as she does not give rise to diffentiation. Not everyone of us is like Anita. But every one of us can recite the Buddha’s name. When we recite the Buddha’s name, we will be calm. Amitabha Buddha said, ‘In the world of fear I comfort them with great love.’ It is because all the worries are gone when we accomplish Buddhahood at the Pure Land. We will not be so worried about our poverty, health problem, ugliness, stupidity, inability to recite a sutra, a mantra. All these are unimportant as finally I will become a Buddha in the Buddha Land. We will be more humorous. For example, if we are ugly we will use it as a joke. It does not matter at all. Because all the external states are not you. The real self, our real life is the Buddha’s Name. It is our true identity. It will bring ease to our mind. A baby is pure. But as it grows up, it starts to abandon himself. A baby resembles a glass of pure water. When he grows up, his greed starts to accumulate when he wants a toy, a book, good results, money, benefits, fame women and so on. All these are placed in the glass of water. Everything is a piece of mud that we put in out glass. The more we put into the glass, the more the water will flow out. This water is the genuine self. We abandon the true self, chase it out with our greed. We fill ourselves with all the rubbish. The genuine blessings and bliss are chased away. We lead an opaque life without transparency. Our life become a glass of muddy water and we live in great torment. The more we obtain, the more we lose ourselves. That is why the Buddha is truly kind. He and his disciples lead a life of a beggar. When you have nothing, you will be happy and relax. The mind retains its purity. Human beings are deluded as they think to possess a wife, children, a house, a car are called blessings. A man who truly loves himself does not love money, sex, fame, food, sleep. These five desires are the knives that will cut us into pieces and bring on great sufferings. Anita said, ‘I realise I am the child of the beautiful universe. As long as I exist, I will obtain this unconditional love.’ This is very good. I would like to make the following changes, ‘I realize that I am the son of the adorned Amitabha Buddha.’ In Buddhism we use adorned to replace the word beautiful. The universe is this Amitabha Buddha. In the Sutra we are told Amitabha Buddha is the Treasury Body of the Dharma Realm. Amitabha Buddha exists in the whole of the Dharma Realm. Of course, there are also the reward body and transformation bodies beside the dharma body. Amitabha Buddha is the immeasurable wisdom and lifespan. Anita says that the universal energy is abundant and inexhaustible, vast and without limits. This is the existence of the Buddha Nature. She says as long as she exists, she will surely obtain the unconditional love. I often also say, ‘No conditions are required for us to receive the love and rescue of Amitabha Buddha.’ Let us take the analogy of a tree. As long as it exists, it will receive the sunlight. No other condition is needed. So it is the same for the house and everything on earth. Amitabha Buddha’s Name is also known as the Light that Far-surpassing the Sun and Moon. Amitabha Buddha’s light pervasively illumines all the living beings and things in the world. As long as we exist, we will receive the light of the Buddha, the protection of his loving kindness and rescue. It is unnecessary for us to become somebody so as to receive the unconditional rescue of Amitabha Buddha. Our Master Hui Jing also wrote a book on the ‘Unconditional Rescue of the Buddha.’ Some people cannot believe. He says, ‘If this is the case everyone will commit evils.’ Such a thinking is negative and full of fear as his mind is dwelling in darkness. He is afraid that the world will go upside down. He cannot understand that as long as there is the existence, may they be a cat, a dog, a hell being, they will be taken care of by Amitabha Buddha. The only condition is they exist. This reminds me of the words of Great Master Tan Luan, ‘The future scholars who hear about the rescue of the Buddha, the rescue that relies on other’s strength, he should give rise to faith. Do not refuse such a chance. It is being stupid.’ Do not think that you should do this and that to obtain the rescue? Amitabha Buddha did not ask you to do anything. He says, ‘Living beings in the ten directions who have faith in me.’ It means they exist and the Buddha will be there to save them. Buddha recitation is not a condition. It is just a method of saving. Anita says, ‘I do not have to do anything to obtain this love.’ Just like a blade of grass in the water. Does it need to do anything to obtain water? It is unnecessary. As long as it exists, it is surrounded by the water. As long as we exist, we are surrounded by the love of Amitabha Buddha. We do not need to do anything to obtain this love and care. Once we know this, we will be fearless and calm at ease. This is the same as the sunlight which shine on the mountain and also the valley. In our life no matter what level we are we will receive the illumination of Amitabha Buddha. Anita says, ‘No prayer, no seeking is needed.’ Amitabha’s rescue is there always. As long as we recite, we will be saved by him. Amitabha Buddha says, ‘All living beings in the ten directions who call on me will be saved by me. You only have to say out my name.’ You say you are dumb and cannot call the name. Such a man who understands the rescue of Buddha will also be saved even if he cannot pronounce the Name. But if you are unwilling, you are creating an obstacle for yourself. That is why our dharma door is known as the ‘The Dharma is taught without being asked.’, the ‘Befriend us without being asked’. As long as we trust him, he will come personally to take us to his Pure Land. On hearing that nothing is needed to be done, some will be confused. They want to do something, to clean the altar, to change the water, to offer some fruits and incense, to sit in meditation and so on. They think this will help them to attain a rebirth. They have to do something. They do not realise what they need to do is to reveal the beautiful self, to lead the adorned life and let themselves become the love. As long as we sit there and lead a loving life we are in accord with the love of the Buddha Amitabha. When the sun is shining, you say, ‘It is good. A shiny day.’ When it is raining, you say, ‘Very good. It is raining now.’ When it snows, you say, ‘Good, I love snow.’ This way of living is to add the positive loving energy to this universe. You are spreading the pure and harmony energy to the universe. In the Buddha Dharma it is known as the lights shine on one another. The whole universe will receive the positive energy of your loving and harmonious mind. So, what you need to do is to recite Namo Amitabha Budda loudly, softly, silently. All will be ok. If we live this way, Amitabha Buddha will be most happy to see us. It is just like a child who is sleeping in the cradle. Doing nothing. What do you think? Will the mother be happy to see him like that? Yes, of course. She will be very glad with him just sleeping there. Nothing has to be done. A child in the arms of his mother is the revelation of total trust. And this is the same for us to be in the arms of Amitabha Buddha. We just relax and trust him. We will lead a happy life. And this is the genuine way of living in accord with the love of oneself. More often than not we lead a life with worries, fear, twisted emotions and trying to cover up our faults. Our adorned life cannot be revealed. Everyday, we live in fear and worries. This is adding chains and locks to ourselves. Anita says, ‘I have never truly loved myself before. I have never valued my existence. I have never seen the adorned soul in me.’ She uses soul to describe herself. In the Buddha Dharma this refers to the beauty and adorned Buddha Nature. She said, ‘I am so beautiful yet I have never realised it. It is replaced with the hard facts of mundane existence. I decay because I do not understand my beautiful soul.’ In the Buddha Dharma it is described as all living beings are originally the Buddha. Yet we do not live, in accord with our Buddha Nature. We are often controlled by our mundane existence, the salary, the examination results and such like. We forget of our Buddha Nature. We lead a life of decay, a life of erosion. This is the General path of Buddhism. From the angle of Buddha Recitation, the rescue of Amitabha is always with us, only that we do not realise it. We try all kinds of methods hoping for the Buddha to rescue us. We do not know that we just have to admit we are the mundane men who are covered with offences. There is no other way to save ourselves if we do not rely on Amitabha Buddha. Then we let go and recite the Buddha’s Name wholeheartedly. This is the way to be saved by the Buddha. But most people cannot understand this. They want to do something good, to be pretentious and make out something good of himself, to scold people for their lacking in virtues and such like. This is against the practise of this pure land door. Why cannot the people in the world see their pretention? It is because they are also not living a true life. Their eyes are not clear enough to see through this pretention. A fake man sees something fake and he will treat it as genuine. A clear -headed man will surely be able to see through all these false masks. If we were to wear a false mask for too long it will be difficult to remove it. It has grown on to our skin. It will be painful if we want to remove this fake mask. So it takes time for us to loosen this false mask as we have been wearing them for too long. Anita says, ‘This understanding makes me realise that I do not have to be frightened anymore.’ There is no more fear in her mind. It is a mind of calm and bliss. It is a mind which is full of hope. It is a comforting mind that can soothe others. With this calm and happy mind it is already a contribution to all around us. It is already a protection and mindfulness to all around us. We do not have to do anything at all. Most of us live in fear. We pay for insurance because we are afraid when we get old, we have no money, no money to pay the medical fees. We get married out of fear that we will be lonely. Why do we give birth to children? We are afraid no one will take care of us at old age. Why do we go to school? It is because we are afraid of our mother’s anger. Why must we study hard? We are afraid of our teacher. Why do we go to university? We are afraid people will look down on us. Can we live without fear? We cannot. Even our mother who loves us so much say we will suffer if we do not study hard. From our young age we receive the education of fear. We are threatened by our beloved parents, our responsible teachers. We do not receive the education of love. So, if we love our children, do not add fear to them. We must give only love and courage so that they can face life with their original positive energy, positive strength. This is because the world is full of twisted people, fake people, suffering people. There are very few upright men, genuine men, happy and hopeful men around. I only hope all of you my lotus friends will bring up a future generation who is upright, genuine, happy and hopeful with the strength of Amitabha Buddha. So, we must lead a life based on the right values taught by Amitabha Buddha. If we teach our child to fight for self -benefit, to contend with others, we are making them blind so that they do not see the truth of life. This is harming them. If we are enlightened to this, we will only rely on Amitabha Buddha. We are not afraid to be lonely. We will be at ease. Those who see the light, the warmth of the Buddha will no longer be frightened. Anita says, ‘I realise this is a state that can be reached by myself and everyone.’ In Zen sect it is said all living beings are Buddha. In the Buddha recitation door, everyone can recite the Name, everyone can attain a rebirth and everyone can accomplish Buddhahood. This is the bestowment by Amitabha Buddha. All the things that we fight for may not be beneficial to us. Everything that benefits us are often free. For example, the air we take in every instant is free. We do not pay to stand on the earth. We do not pay to look at the sky above. Whatever we fight and earn to get are valueless. Everything that is valuable is free. In the general practice it is said, ‘No cultivation is the cultivation. Nothing is obtainable. This is the state of a bodhisattva. The original face of all dharma often dwells in the mark of still extinction. Our Buddha Nature is replete with all merits and virtues. We cannot cultivate anything to enhance it. This is because all the things that we can do are only dreams, illusion, bubbles and shadow. Whatever that we do, that we create are not in accord with our Buddha Nature. The Buddha Nature is always there, original and shining out naturally. And in our Pure Land Dharma, whatever we have offered, whatever we have done are not the causes for our attainment of a rebirth. Attaining a rebirth is the state of nothing doing. It stays apart from creation or doing. It is a natural state. Reciting Namo Amitabha Buddha helps us to return to this state. Anita said, ‘So I decided to return to the mundane world.’ She has enlightened to the opportunity of life and she decided to come back to tell us about life. Just like many Pure Land cultivators who say that they will not come back any more to sufferings. Yet when they arrive at the Pure Land and brings forth the Bodhi mind, they will come back by themselves to help other beings. Anita said, ‘When I was on the verge of death, I realised the universe comes forth from unconditional love. I am one of the revelations of this love in my present form.’ For the scientists they will say the universe is made from electron, protons, neutrons and so on. This is talking only at the surface level, the materials. But as she talked from her true experienc,e she can see all the things, all the people are the expression of this universal love. When she comes back from death, she deeply penetrates the genuine love the mother universe and her wavelength is in accord with the universal love. She comes back as a healthy woman. So once there is a change in our mind set, the body, the people and the surroundings will also change. In the eyes of Buddha and Bodhisattva there is no differentiation of filth and purity. Everything is pure and adorned in its own expression. Every one of us is the art piece of this unconditional love or in the Buddha’s words, the Buddha Nature. She said, ‘I cannot change into another form as it is my original expression, original nature of this unconditional love.’ Everything that exists is the expression of the Buddha Nature. Even something which is defiled or unwholesome is also part of the expression of this unconditional everlasting love. That is why the Buddha says, ‘All the Dharma from the original state dwells constantly in still extinction.’ Still extinction refers to Nirvana the state of the Buddha. So, when we recite the Buddha’s Name we will enter the Buddha’s dwelling. ‘The energy capacity of the strength of life forms derives from love. And I am made from the universal energy capacity. On knowing this, I realise I do not need to become somebody else. And my true value will not be depreciated too.’ Anita said, So, it is unnecessary for us to become another man. A business man does not need to become Jack Ma. Why is this so? It is because you are equal to him. He is not higher than you. He has the Buddha Nature and you also have the Buddha Nature. Every one is equal. So we do not need to measure in terms of money especially if we truly know the benefits of Buddha recitation. In the eyes of the Buddha every one of us is a shining star. We do not need to chase after another star. Just imagine the havoc it will be when the stars do not dwell in its orbit and try to chase after another star. What a chaos the universe will become. Everyone of our existence is in perfect conditions in the eyes of the Buddha and Bodhisattva. ‘This is the I that I have always wanted to be.’ she said. We must learn to appreciate ourselves, accept ourselves and love ourselves. This ‘I’ is invaluable under the unconditional love of the Rescue of Amitabha Buddha. We are his precious sons, the pearls on his hand. If we are accepted by the Buddha, we will be so happy as we will have no complaint about ourselves. We are often surrounded by people who keep on complaining about us. The first one is our mother who says that we are not clever, we have low marks. We are not filial. We earn too little. See how our mother teaches us not to appreciate ourselves. Then we are blamed by our teacher, our classmates, our girl -friend and so on. Then comes Amitabha Buddha who studies us and says, ‘Put aside all the complaints. You are qualified to attain Buddhahood. No problem at all. I give you 100 percent.’ That is why we Buddha Recitation Practitioners are always at ease under the shine of Amitabha Buddha who give us the confirmation. This is the greatest benefits the Buddha bestows upon us. Buddhism brings hope and bliss to the world, the universe. So, in this life’s time we must try our best to lead a life of Amitabha Buddha. Do not be swayed by the mundane values, mundane eyes, mundane perspective. We rely only on the outlook of the Buddha and Bodhisattva. ‘Once we know that we are this love, it is unnecessary to purposely go forth to shower love on others. As long as we are faithful to our original nature, we will automatically become the tools of love, touching the hearts of everyone who have affinity with us.’ This part of her speech is very good. If we are already the lamp, there is no need for us to go out purposely to shine on others. The lamp just stands at its place and it manages to brighten up the place. So, when we are the LOVE, we will naturally touch those around us with our love. Take a look at our Master Hui Jing. He sits there quietly and yet every one of us are calm and happy naturally. So when we become the love, wherever we are, all will feel calm at ease, without any fear. Anita said, ‘The most important thing I have learnt is I am the Love itself. All my fears are gone. This is the reason I come into life again.’ Amitabha Buddha said, ‘I will transform all the fear into great calmness, great serenity’ When We recite His Name we are charged with his love. We also become the love. We will leave behind all fear. ‘My dear, you will always be loved. You do not need to harbour any fear. There is no way for you to commit any errors.’ Always think about these three sentences. There is the light of truth in it. This is spoken by a non -Buddhist who was on the verge of her death and who lives again. How about us the Buddha Recitation Practitioners? Can we deny the love of Amitabha Buddha, His unconditional love of rescue? From this story we know the unconditional love of rescue of the Buddha pervasively surrounds us. We must have faith in this and lead a life of joy with no more fear. Nowadays, everyone lives in fear. We must learn to replete ourselves with love and bring this shine to others, to lead them out of fear. Love yourself and love others. Namo Amitabha Buddha. A dharma talk by Dharma Master Shi Jing Zong, the Abbot of the Hong Yuan Monastery in Anhui, China entitled: Dying Once to Learn to Love

Hello all, I am a Florida based shoe cleaner who struggles to bring in customers. I offer many services such as cleaning, ice box sessions, suede cleaning, and even sneaker hunting if you can’t find a specific shoe you want. My issue is, I don’t have much of an audience to market too it seems, my socials don’t grow, the signs I have rarely attract customers as often as I’d like, and I can’t seem to really keep people coming back even though I’ve gotten a lot of compliments on my work. What ideas do you have that could possibly fix this?

So DIL was adopted and from my understanding has a wonderful and very close relationship with her parents. D was raised by the same foster family from age 3-5 (depending on which version she is telling) until adulthood but was never adopted by them because her grandmother didn’t allow it, per D.
I think there are two major background issues at play with this whole situation:
1) D cycled through 3 husbands while her children were growing up, and I don’t think it’s a stretch to assume that she relied on her oldest son emotionally and made him a surrogate partner 2) D has deep rooted issues around abandonment and adoption. She has mentioned in multiple videos previously that her granddaughter was the only female she was related to biologically
I think with this back ground info it sheds a new light on just how terrible her comment was. She was jealous of her DIL who had been adopted by a loving and supportive family and had married a man that loved and supported her. She says in her video that she wasn’t close enough to her to ask if she was ok, but she was apparently close enough to make a jab that she knew would cut deep. She said that comment specifically to hurt her DIL because as another child not raised by birth parents, D specifically knew how painful that comment would be to her DIL. And she tries to say she said it under the guise of trying to make her laugh? D knew exactly what she was saying. She’s harped enough herself about the granddaughter being the only biological female relative she has. She knew exactly what she was saying and I wager that’s why it was received so poorly.
She tries to throw in that she said it because of comments on stepmom’s posts….again, just trying to throw more people under the bus. Sorry, stepmom actually has a relationship with your sons and DIL and granddaughter. Because she’s not a shitty, terrible human being.
TLDR: D knew exactly what she was saying and exactly why it would be as painful as it was

Hey, my name is Ralph. I am 36, and I live in Florida. I travel for work though so I am all over the place and I travel full time. So that means I am not on any specific time zone, I sleep when I’m tired. As flight crew my work schedule can be 7 days a week, 365 days a year and holidays. I prefer it that way vs a traditional 9-5 Monday to Friday type job, no thanks. As flight crew I get to see the world and get paid for it. I truly love my job and what I do. I also get to live in Florida but still see all 4 seasons! I have been to 19 countries and growing!
I am a nerd. I love gaming. I have a PS5, gaming desktop, gaming laptop, switch OLED, etc. I am also an electronic music producer. I produce house, tech house, trance, techno, drum and bass, etc! It is just for fun!
I am looking for friends. I am VERY picky with who I respond to and make friends with. I am also looking for my best friend but that takes time and it just has to happen. I just need to click with someone. Someone who immediately gets my high level of sarcasm, etc.
I am looking for real life friends not just online! Message me! :)

Hey, my name is Ralph. I am 36, and I live in Florida. I travel for work though so I am all over the place and I travel full time. So that means I am not on any specific time zone, I sleep when I’m tired. As flight crew my work schedule can be 7 days a week, 365 days a year and holidays. I prefer it that way vs a traditional 9-5 Monday to Friday type job, no thanks. As flight crew I get to see the world and get paid for it. I truly love my job and what I do. I also get to live in Florida but still see all 4 seasons! I have been to 19 countries and growing!
I am a nerd. I love gaming. I have a PS5, gaming desktop, gaming laptop, switch OLED, etc. I am also an electronic music producer. I produce house, tech house, trance, techno, drum and bass, etc! It is just for fun!
I am looking for friends. I am VERY picky with who I respond to and make friends with. I am also looking for my best friend but that takes time and it just has to happen. I just need to click with someone. Someone who immediately gets my high level of sarcasm, etc.
I am looking for real life friends not just online! Message me! :)

Is it me or is the number of classic songs being re-recorded and re-released growing? It seems like almost everything new I see from the group now is a re-recording of an OG or Sam Era song, sometimes an Emma Era song. Some of them are fun, but it feels like it's starting to get a bit excessive, you know? Songs like D.O.R.O.T.H.Y and The Monkey Dance make sense, but Come On Let's Jump, Fire Engines, John Bradeulum, and constant re-cuts of the nursery rhymes... like four or five versions of Old McDonald and The Wheels On the Bus in the past five or six years? Seriously?
I think the group's at its' best when they've got about a 75/25 split on an album. 3/4 new material and a 1/4 of songs that the target audience doesn't remember, but adults who listened yesteryear do. TV Series are a bit of a different story, but there's plenty of room for new stuff.
Thoughts? Keep the re-recordings coming or cut back?

In 1945, the United States underwent Operation Paperclip which gave over 1,600 German scientists, engineers and technicians sanctuary and absolution of their crimes in exchange for the continuation of their research.
In 1953 those same individuals came up with and executed MK Ultra, an illegal human experiment that used its citizens (targeting schools, hospitals and prisons) as test subjects.
In 1954 the Plum Island was turned into a research center for diseases.
In 1975 the first documented case of Lyme disease occurred. Rumored to have escaped Plum Island.
In 2005 the DHS announced that all the work done at Plum Island would be continued in Kansas. Not just the center of the continental United States, but also home to crops seen in grocery stores all over the country.
The following is a true story.
Getting into work, one of the first things I do is check my mail. I’ve been a reporter for years and have amassed fans who like to write in and give me leads. Most of the time these leads don't amount to much (Sometimes I wonder if people send me things because of my apophenia and they are trying to get me off their scent), but every once in a while I strike gold.
I had been working at Whisper Alley Echos for a few months by the time I got my first lead. The package I got was small and when I opened it I saw a DVD that had the words “play me” written in black marker on it. Not knowing what was on it, I waited until I got home to put it on. Not just because I didnt know what was on it, but I was also busy working on a different project about how everyone in a nearby town just went missing. The official story is that they all went on vacation or went to visit a relative and decided to stay. I dont know about you, but I found that suspicious.
After getting home and shifting gears to get into the movie mood (popcorn, blinds pulled, etc…) I popped the DVD in and began watching.
There were dozens of different videos to pick from, some ranging from a minute to half an hour. Instead of picking one at random, I just played them in order. After all, all their titles were dates and times and I didnt want to miss anything that might make sense later.
The first video featured a tardigrade, at the time I didnt know what it was, but the scientist doing the voice over described it as being a microscopic animal as well as being extremely resilient. This went on for several minutes and for a moment it felt as though I was watching a nature documentary instead of something given to me by a government whistleblower.
The next few videos featured footage of the tardigrades being given something called “BB-F828” and the changes it caused.
The voiceover talked about how a tardigrade (this time he called them water bears and the two terms were interchangeable from this point on) was showing signs of several thousand generations of evolution in only a few days. Even though I know nothing about science, I could see that the thing on the television was not the same animal that was shown in the first video.
While they were never “cute”, at least they never looked like predators, but after a few videos I saw that the tardigrades were covered in what appeared to be padding. In a later video this padding would change into being chitin-like armor.
The last video was filmed two months after the water bears were given BB-F828 and in it the scientists could see them even without a microscope.
The next morning I went into work and started writing on my computer, copying notes from my small notebook. However by the time I started the second draft, Andrea, the office secretary, dropped a letter off at my desk.
It was the first time I got a letter about an “inside scoop” two days in a row.
The letter said that they were the ones who sent the DVD and if I wanted to know more I would have to go to The Rats Skeleton (a bar that used to be a speakeasy during prohibition. Because of this the place feels as though its a front for a comic book villain. The owners have leaned into this and did everything they could to reinforce this feeling with sparse lighting and everything that isn't red velvet on the walls being painted black) at a specific time.
Usually I wouldn't go meet strangers after getting an anonymous letter that tells me to come alone, but its a small town and I didn't have much going on that particular Thursday.
Parking behind the Merc (short for mercantile, where most of the grocery and general shopping is done in town), I descended the stairs and made my way to the back of the bar. There I found a woman that didnt look like she slept in days. Since no one else was in that back area I figured she must have been the person I was there to see.
“Hey, I’m Daniel West. Am I—”
“Sit” the woman said, motioning across from her. I sat down and asked her for her name but she didn’t want to answer me and when i asked for it a second time she claimed it was Jane, but there is no doubt that was not her real name.
“What made you reach out, Jane?”
“You saw the video?”
I nodded. “Yup.”
“And?”
“I have a lot of questions” I answered.
“Figured you would” Jane said. “Ask.”
“Well, first” I said, my journalistic inexperience showing as I went through my pocket notebook. “Who are you and why do you know all this?”
“Name isnt important” Jane answered. “Let me start from the beginning. We thought we were working on human survivability” Jane answered. “I thought that I was working for some company that had a government contract. That might be true, it might not be. Either way lots of money and resources have been put into this.”
“I saw the video” I answered. “What exactly was it that I was watching?”
Janes eyes were frantic as she looked at the stairs behind me. When I turned around to see what she was looking at I saw a local descending the steps and approach the bar. She only answered my question when she was convinced that the man wasn't eavesdropping, still, she spoke in whispers.
“We were working on human survivability.”
“You said that. What does that mean?”
“Exactly what it sounds like. Consider we civilize mars and the long term effects from the static radiation there. Or another planet that demands thicker bones because of increased gravity? Evolution might give us those things eventually but what if we need it now? In this generation?”
“So you made super humans?”
Jane was annoyed and slapped the table. No one was around to hear or see her but I still looked around anyways.
“We didn’t work on humans. We piggybacked off of some other countries' genetic research and made some breakthroughs of our own. When—-“
“Other countries?” I interrupted instead of letting her talk.
“Yeah” Jane said with a shrug. “Some countries aren’t tied down by the same code of ethics as ours.”
“That’s why you got a hold of me? To tell—-“
“We were working on small parts. At first individual genes, building from that success we went on to more complex organisms. Eventually, hopefully, test on humans.”
“But you never made it that far?”
“No” Jane said, taking a sip from her glass. “We tested BB-F828 on other things, building up towards human testing.”
“Okay, like what?”
Jane inhaled through her nose and looked at me as though she wasnt sure if I could be trusted. Then she sighed when she realized it was too late not to trust me, she had already went too far to turn back. “What do you think has the best chance of not only surviving a planet wide disaster, but also thrive in it?”
“Cockroaches” I answered.
Jane nodded. “Sure. Lots of people would agree with you, however that wouldn't be the best pick.”
“Oh? Then what would be?”
“Rats.”
I laughed.
“They are tough and can thrive anywhere. Even before BB-F828 they are smarter than roaches, plus rats have a complicated social hierarchy, similar to humans. Remember, I didn't just say survive. I said thrive.”
“So you tested all this on rats?”
Jane nodded. “We did.”
I waited for Jane to continue, but thanks to her staring off into space due to lack of sleep, she waited longer.
“What happened?”
Janes eyes drifted back at me, she was running on fumes. “Huh? Oh, yeah. Rats, right?” she asked while pulling a folder out from the seat next to her. She set it on the table and slid it over to me. “Here, take a peek.”
I opened it, expecting redacted pages of ‘evidence’ and while I got some of that, it was the photos that drew my attention the most. At first the photos were individual rats and a designated number they received instead of a name.
“How many rats did you experiment—” I started, but my voice trailed off when I came across a photo of the one rat with unique markings on its back now appearing to be bred for a war on pleasant dreams. Its eyes were pearly gray, teeth became tusks, its whiskers were thick and barbed. According to the scale it was on when the second photo was taken it weighed twenty nine point four kilos.
“A few hundred?” Jane answered, though it was obvious that it was just a guess. “They were paired off and put in different environments to see how they adapt.”
“Why would you pair them off?”
“I think it was to see if some would branch out and become their own species” Jane answered as she checked her watch. Seeing the time she sped up. “See, when something with BB-F828 finds itself in a desert, it might adapt to the point that it grows a hump like a camel. Or grow gills if they are in the ocean. The original purpose was for human survivability on other planets. We thought if we could discover how the adaptations work, and it could be repeated exactly the same over and over again, we could do something for humans. After all you wouldn't want anything unexpected to happen when you're in the middle of growing another set of arms or a dorsal fin, right?”Jane said. “But to do this we needed lots of subjects and all in their own environments. Each one had their own surprises, after all, evolution is random. Favors some things over others. One species can branch out to be dozens or hundreds. Thousands with enough time and environmental factors. When the tardigrades started displaying more predatory behavior we thought it was due to the change in diet and the increase in protein, but now we think its due to the rapid change. It drives them insane. All of this was surprising, but none as surprising as the ‘dirt rats’.”
“Wait. They are all insane? Also, dirt rats?” I asked, flipping the photo over to show the next one. This one revealed what I thought was a bear, but when I was about to flip it over to look at the next one I noticed its teeth. Thats when I noticed that it was a huge, muscular rat.
“Six breeding pairs, all kept in an empty pool full of dirt. They weren't given enough room to get out of the dirt, so they had to adapt to living in it. Anyways, because they are in the dirt its harder to keep track of what they are doing. Because of that, by the time we discovered that they had burrowed their way out of the facility it was too late. They were gone.”
“Gone? What do you mean?”
“Escaped,” Jane whispered. “And they are growing.”
“Growing?”
“Last I heard, they were nearly sixty feet but we honestly don't know. It's not like we can compare them to anything else.”
“Sixty feet?” I laughed. “Someone would have saw them by—”
“Underground” Jane said with a shake of her head. “They are underground. I know it's hard to believe, but how else can you explain those earthquakes in Chicago? New York?”
“Are you saying there are giant rats under those cities?”
“I am saying they aren't rats anymore. They are something else entirely. I am saying six breeding pairs might not sound like a lot, but rats reproduce so quickly it's terrifying. I am saying that they are so big and there are so many of them that they are causing those earthquakes. I am saying that due to their size they burn off lots of calories and some have evolved to hibernating.”
“Why hibernation?”
“No idea, but when they wake up they are going to be very hungry. Ravenous.”
“Any idea when that might be?” I asked.
Jane shrugged. “Some already have. We just covered it up.”
It might have been my apophenia talking, but with that statement I started seeing the bigger picture and asked Jane about the town that went missing (The story I was working on before her DVD reached me). Jane gave me the politician's answer, saying something without actually saying something, and that was enough to confirm that I was indeed on the right track.
Unfortunately Jane and I did not speak for much longer, she got a call that freaked her out and she took off. Before she left she took the folder and the pictures I was still going through. I haven't seen or heard from her since and have dropped the story about the disappearances that have secretly been plaguing our country.
WAE

In 1945, the United States underwent Operation Paperclip which gave over 1,600 German scientists, engineers and technicians sanctuary and absolution of their crimes in exchange for the continuation of their research.
In 1953 those same individuals came up with and executed MK Ultra, an illegal human experiment that used its citizens (targeting schools, hospitals and prisons) as test subjects.
In 1954 the Plum Island was turned into a research center for diseases.
In 1975 the first documented case of Lyme disease occurred. Rumored to have escaped Plum Island.
In 2005 the DHS announced that all the work done at Plum Island would be continued in Kansas. Not just the center of the continental United States, but also home to crops seen in grocery stores all over the country.
The following is a true story.
Getting into work, one of the first things I do is check my mail. I’ve been a reporter for years and have amassed fans who like to write in and give me leads. Most of the time these leads don't amount to much (Sometimes I wonder if people send me things because of my apophenia and they are trying to get me off their scent), but every once in a while I strike gold.
I had been working at Whisper Alley Echos for a few months by the time I got my first lead. The package I got was small and when I opened it I saw a DVD that had the words “play me” written in black marker on it. Not knowing what was on it, I waited until I got home to put it on. Not just because I didnt know what was on it, but I was also busy working on a different project about how everyone in a nearby town just went missing. The official story is that they all went on vacation or went to visit a relative and decided to stay. I dont know about you, but I found that suspicious.
After getting home and shifting gears to get into the movie mood (popcorn, blinds pulled, etc…) I popped the DVD in and began watching.
There were dozens of different videos to pick from, some ranging from a minute to half an hour. Instead of picking one at random, I just played them in order. After all, all their titles were dates and times and I didnt want to miss anything that might make sense later.
The first video featured a tardigrade, at the time I didnt know what it was, but the scientist doing the voice over described it as being a microscopic animal as well as being extremely resilient. This went on for several minutes and for a moment it felt as though I was watching a nature documentary instead of something given to me by a government whistleblower.
The next few videos featured footage of the tardigrades being given something called “BB-F828” and the changes it caused.
The voiceover talked about how a tardigrade (this time he called them water bears and the two terms were interchangeable from this point on) was showing signs of several thousand generations of evolution in only a few days. Even though I know nothing about science, I could see that the thing on the television was not the same animal that was shown in the first video.
While they were never “cute”, at least they never looked like predators, but after a few videos I saw that the tardigrades were covered in what appeared to be padding. In a later video this padding would change into being chitin-like armor.
The last video was filmed two months after the water bears were given BB-F828 and in it the scientists could see them even without a microscope.
The next morning I went into work and started writing on my computer, copying notes from my small notebook. However by the time I started the second draft, Andrea, the office secretary, dropped a letter off at my desk.
It was the first time I got a letter about an “inside scoop” two days in a row.
The letter said that they were the ones who sent the DVD and if I wanted to know more I would have to go to The Rats Skeleton (a bar that used to be a speakeasy during prohibition. Because of this the place feels as though its a front for a comic book villain. The owners have leaned into this and did everything they could to reinforce this feeling with sparse lighting and everything that isn't red velvet on the walls being painted black) at a specific time.
Usually I wouldn't go meet strangers after getting an anonymous letter that tells me to come alone, but its a small town and I didn't have much going on that particular Thursday.
Parking behind the Merc (short for mercantile, where most of the grocery and general shopping is done in town), I descended the stairs and made my way to the back of the bar. There I found a woman that didnt look like she slept in days. Since no one else was in that back area I figured she must have been the person I was there to see.
“Hey, I’m Daniel West. Am I—”
“Sit” the woman said, motioning across from her. I sat down and asked her for her name but she didn’t want to answer me and when i asked for it a second time she claimed it was Jane, but there is no doubt that was not her real name.
“What made you reach out, Jane?”
“You saw the video?”
I nodded. “Yup.”
“And?”
“I have a lot of questions” I answered.
“Figured you would” Jane said. “Ask.”
“Well, first” I said, my journalistic inexperience showing as I went through my pocket notebook. “Who are you and why do you know all this?”
“Name isnt important” Jane answered. “Let me start from the beginning. We thought we were working on human survivability” Jane answered. “I thought that I was working for some company that had a government contract. That might be true, it might not be. Either way lots of money and resources have been put into this.”
“I saw the video” I answered. “What exactly was it that I was watching?”
Janes eyes were frantic as she looked at the stairs behind me. When I turned around to see what she was looking at I saw a local descending the steps and approach the bar. She only answered my question when she was convinced that the man wasn't eavesdropping, still, she spoke in whispers.
“We were working on human survivability.”
“You said that. What does that mean?”
“Exactly what it sounds like. Consider we civilize mars and the long term effects from the static radiation there. Or another planet that demands thicker bones because of increased gravity? Evolution might give us those things eventually but what if we need it now? In this generation?”
“So you made super humans?”
Jane was annoyed and slapped the table. No one was around to hear or see her but I still looked around anyways.
“We didn’t work on humans. We piggybacked off of some other countries' genetic research and made some breakthroughs of our own. When—-“
“Other countries?” I interrupted instead of letting her talk.
“Yeah” Jane said with a shrug. “Some countries aren’t tied down by the same code of ethics as ours.”
“That’s why you got a hold of me? To tell—-“
“We were working on small parts. At first individual genes, building from that success we went on to more complex organisms. Eventually, hopefully, test on humans.”
“But you never made it that far?”
“No” Jane said, taking a sip from her glass. “We tested BB-F828 on other things, building up towards human testing.”
“Okay, like what?”
Jane inhaled through her nose and looked at me as though she wasnt sure if I could be trusted. Then she sighed when she realized it was too late not to trust me, she had already went too far to turn back. “What do you think has the best chance of not only surviving a planet wide disaster, but also thrive in it?”
“Cockroaches” I answered.
Jane nodded. “Sure. Lots of people would agree with you, however that wouldn't be the best pick.”
“Oh? Then what would be?”
“Rats.”
I laughed.
“They are tough and can thrive anywhere. Even before BB-F828 they are smarter than roaches, plus rats have a complicated social hierarchy, similar to humans. Remember, I didn't just say survive. I said thrive.”
“So you tested all this on rats?”
Jane nodded. “We did.”
I waited for Jane to continue, but thanks to her staring off into space due to lack of sleep, she waited longer.
“What happened?”
Janes eyes drifted back at me, she was running on fumes. “Huh? Oh, yeah. Rats, right?” she asked while pulling a folder out from the seat next to her. She set it on the table and slid it over to me. “Here, take a peek.”
I opened it, expecting redacted pages of ‘evidence’ and while I got some of that, it was the photos that drew my attention the most. At first the photos were individual rats and a designated number they received instead of a name.
“How many rats did you experiment—” I started, but my voice trailed off when I came across a photo of the one rat with unique markings on its back now appearing to be bred for a war on pleasant dreams. Its eyes were pearly gray, teeth became tusks, its whiskers were thick and barbed. According to the scale it was on when the second photo was taken it weighed twenty nine point four kilos.
“A few hundred?” Jane answered, though it was obvious that it was just a guess. “They were paired off and put in different environments to see how they adapt.”
“Why would you pair them off?”
“I think it was to see if some would branch out and become their own species” Jane answered as she checked her watch. Seeing the time she sped up. “See, when something with BB-F828 finds itself in a desert, it might adapt to the point that it grows a hump like a camel. Or grow gills if they are in the ocean. The original purpose was for human survivability on other planets. We thought if we could discover how the adaptations work, and it could be repeated exactly the same over and over again, we could do something for humans. After all you wouldn't want anything unexpected to happen when you're in the middle of growing another set of arms or a dorsal fin, right?”Jane said. “But to do this we needed lots of subjects and all in their own environments. Each one had their own surprises, after all, evolution is random. Favors some things over others. One species can branch out to be dozens or hundreds. Thousands with enough time and environmental factors. When the tardigrades started displaying more predatory behavior we thought it was due to the change in diet and the increase in protein, but now we think its due to the rapid change. It drives them insane. All of this was surprising, but none as surprising as the ‘dirt rats’.”
“Wait. They are all insane? Also, dirt rats?” I asked, flipping the photo over to show the next one. This one revealed what I thought was a bear, but when I was about to flip it over to look at the next one I noticed its teeth. Thats when I noticed that it was a huge, muscular rat.
“Six breeding pairs, all kept in an empty pool full of dirt. They weren't given enough room to get out of the dirt, so they had to adapt to living in it. Anyways, because they are in the dirt its harder to keep track of what they are doing. Because of that, by the time we discovered that they had burrowed their way out of the facility it was too late. They were gone.”
“Gone? What do you mean?”
“Escaped,” Jane whispered. “And they are growing.”
“Growing?”
“Last I heard, they were nearly sixty feet but we honestly don't know. It's not like we can compare them to anything else.”
“Sixty feet?” I laughed. “Someone would have saw them by—”
“Underground” Jane said with a shake of her head. “They are underground. I know it's hard to believe, but how else can you explain those earthquakes in Chicago? New York?”
“Are you saying there are giant rats under those cities?”
“I am saying they aren't rats anymore. They are something else entirely. I am saying six breeding pairs might not sound like a lot, but rats reproduce so quickly it's terrifying. I am saying that they are so big and there are so many of them that they are causing those earthquakes. I am saying that due to their size they burn off lots of calories and some have evolved to hibernating.”
“Why hibernation?”
“No idea, but when they wake up they are going to be very hungry. Ravenous.”
“Any idea when that might be?” I asked.
Jane shrugged. “Some already have. We just covered it up.”
It might have been my apophenia talking, but with that statement I started seeing the bigger picture and asked Jane about the town that went missing (The story I was working on before her DVD reached me). Jane gave me the politician's answer, saying something without actually saying something, and that was enough to confirm that I was indeed on the right track.
Unfortunately Jane and I did not speak for much longer, she got a call that freaked her out and she took off. Before she left she took the folder and the pictures I was still going through. I haven't seen or heard from her since and have dropped the story about the disappearances that have secretly been plaguing our country.
WAE

I’m 21 years old and it feels like I have my whole life ahead of me to find love and to be desired but I don’t really think so.
I know it’s many many people’s biggest fear to look like me or be with me. I see it in the way my female friends act and other women around me. They panic if they eat slightly more than they should, say they can’t eat the last piece of food on their plate because it scares them that it would make them fat and they constantly ask for reassurance (including from me) if they look fat (they are a size 4 at most). And even male friends, I see the disgust when someone even assumes we are together, the vitriol I heard from them about people like Lizzo. I had to cut a male friend off because he would go on rants unprompted about how he could never be with someone like me and how I am so disgusting and the only reason I’ve ever been on dates or been with anyone is because I have boobs and that’s my only good quality. Don’t get me started on the racism and colourism + the misogyny on top of the fatphobia. If I had a dollar for every time a random person or “friend” but black, specifically dark skin women at the bottom of their presence list or not even on the list at all, I would be rich enough to get all the surgeries the kardashains got to make them look like black women.
I I know people would rather die than have me or be me but it’s not a productive thought so I don’t think about it. I wear whatever I want and act like I’m hot hoping I’d actually feel that way. I’m out there and blunt but deep down inside I just hope I’m loud enough so they don’t think too hard and notice my flaws.
Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had people desire me but it’s all meaningless. Short term flings meant to satisfy short term desires which I was ok with. But my longest relationship is 2 months and it only lasted that long because I was waiting for feelings to grow on my end but it never did. It always felt like a slap on the face whenever I would meet a guy who liked me for who I am and I just couldn’t like him back, no matter how much time I spent with him or how I tried.
Could I lose weight and look “better”? Yes, but I want someone who wants me for me not just because I’m skinny and look more palatable. Plus it would prove all the negative things I think about myself. Maybe if I’ve never experienced love and affection before I wouldn’t complain but I have the most amazing female friends it makes me cry because it means it is possible to be appreciated as I am now.
Just wanted to vent and I know this isn’t original. But I feel differently because I don’t hate myself, I just hate how I’m perceived. And people make me feel bad for not hating myself and it’s a cycle I think.

By now, most of you have probably heard of these news:

Ukraine troops pull back in Kharkiv after Russia offensive
Ukraine has pulled back its troops from several villages in the border region of Kharkiv following continued pressure from Russian forces.
Soldiers had come under heavy fire and moved to "more advantageous positions" in two areas of the north-eastern region, a military spokesman said.
Throughout the course of the two-year war, Ukraine has typically used this type of language to signify a retreat.
President Volodymyr Zelensky has cancelled all upcoming foreign trips as troops struggle to contain the new cross-border incursion, with several towns and villages coming under heavy fire.
His press secretary, Sergiy Nykyforov, said the president had "instructed that all international events scheduled for the coming days be postponed and new dates coordinated".
Moscow has claimed its forces have now taken control of two more settlements in the region - Lukyantski and Hlyboke - and the village of Robotyne, in the southern Zaporizhzhia region.
But Ukraine says its military still controls most of Roboytne, news website Ukrayinska Pravda reports, citing a spokesman for an army brigade fighting there.
"They [Russian troops] are actually only on the outskirts," Serhiy Skibchyk told the website.
"Inside the village, there are still our positions."
Robotyne was one of only a handful of settlements Kyiv retook in its summer counter-offensive last year.
A spokesman for the Ukrainian military said the decision to move troops from the Lukyantsi and Vovchansk areas was taken to "preserve the lives of our servicemen and avoid losses".
The capture of Vovchansk, though not of specific militarily significance, would represent a blow to Ukrainian morale.
The military spokesman said that the situation "remains difficult" but insisted that its forces were "not allowing the Russian occupiers to gain a foothold".
In a statement on Wednesday at 13:30 local time (11:30 BST/ 10:30 GMT), the military said there had been three clashes in the Kharkiv region, and Russian forces were attacking in the direction of Lyptsi, roughly midway between Kharkiv city and the Russian border.
The statement added two strikes hit the villages of Lyptsi and Mala Danylivka - while Ukrainian forces "repelled" an offensive in Vovchansk.
Ukraine's head of intelligence, Kyrylo Budanov, had earlier said troops had stabilised the front line.
https://ichef.bbci.co.uk/news/1024/cpsprodpb/6107/live/c2f1be80-12b8-11ef-b9d8-4f52aebe147d.png.webp
Thousands of civilians have fled west in recent days towards Ukraine's second-largest city of Kharkiv - including from the town of Vovchansk, located 74km (45 miles) away.
Oleksiy Kharkivskiy, Vovchansk's police chief, said on social media that fighting was intense and Russian forces were establishing positions inside the town.
"The situation is extremely difficult. The enemy is taking positions on the streets of the town of Vovchansk," he said.
Kyiv has sent reinforcements to the wider Kharkiv region following Friday's incursion - seen as one of Russia's most significant ground attacks since it launched its full-scale invasion of the country in February 2022.
"Additional forces are being deployed, and there are reserves," President Zelensky's office said on Wednesday.
US Secretary of State Antony Blinken announced an additional $2bn in military aid to the Ukrainian war effort while on a visit to Kyiv.
Mr Blinken told reporters on Wednesday the fund would provide weapons "today" and invest in Ukraine's industrial base.
"We're rushing ammunition, armoured vehicles, missiles, air defences to get them to the front lines," Mr Blinken said.
"We've been through challenging times together, I have every confidence that together we will get through these difficult moments."
It comes weeks after US Congress passed a $61bn aid package last month.
Away from Kharkiv, Russia said earlier it had temporarily closed two major airports in the south-western region of Kazan after targeted Ukrainian drone attacks. Ukraine has not commented on the strike.
Russia's Foreign Ministry spokeswoman Maria Zakharova also said on Wednesday that Ukrainian attacks in Russia's Belgorod border region were a demonstration of the "criminality" of Kyiv and the Western powers which back it.
Unlike with Ukrainian territory which Russia occupies, Kyiv has reluctantly agreed with western allies to not use the missiles it provides on targets inside Russia itself.

https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/c1030vvy0mzo

Ukrainian officials suggest there are more Russian gains amid ongoing push in Kharkiv region
Ukrainian officials suggested further gains by Russian forces on Wednesday in the Kharkiv region, as Moscow continues its push into northeastern Ukraine.
The town of Vovchansk, located about 60 kilometers (or about 37 miles) northeast of Ukraine's second-largest city of Kharkiv, is seeing some of the most intense battles in areas near the border, with one police official saying Russian forces are already in the town.

"The situation in Vovchansk is extremely difficult. The enemy is taking positions on the streets of Vovchansk," said Oleksii Kharkivskyi, chief patrol officer of the Vovchansk Police Department, urging residents to evacuate.

Gen. Serhii "Marcel" Melnyk, the commander of the Kharkiv city defense forces, also suggested there have been changes in Ukrainian positions in Vovchansk and a possible tactical withdrawal.

"Heavy fighting is ongoing. In some areas, near Vovchansk and Lukiantsi, Ukrainian defenders were forced to move to more favorable positions to more effectively use their forces and defend the region from the offensive," Melnyk said Wednesday.

At least 24 people, including four children, were injured as a result of Russian shelling in various parts of the Kharkiv region on Wednesday, Melnyk said.
The Ukrainian monitoring group DeepStateMap indicated on Wednesday that Russian forces have reached northeastern parts of Vovchansk as they continue to push further south into Ukrainian territory. Russian forces have taken control of more than nine villages near the border in recent days.
Mandatory evacuations continue from all northern border settlements, according to Roman Semenukha, deputy head of Kharkiv Regional Military Administration. Nearly 8,000 people have been evacuated from these areas since May 10, when Russia launched its push.

Russian forces continue to make advances in northern Ukraine
Troops have made advances into Ukrainian villages in the Kharkiv region after launching their cross-border assault on May 10:
https://ix.cnn.io/dailygraphics/graphics/20240514-ukraine-kharkiv-advances/static/media/ai2html-graphic-desktop.1ab2d434.png

This is my thread about the similar topic from 2 months ago:
https://old.reddit.com/economy/comments/1aybxqo/with_russia_expected_to_take_over_the_entire/
It is expected that Russia will take over the entirety of Ukraine in few months, if not few weeks or even few days thanks to its infinite supplies and forces and rapidly-growing economy. This will be cited as a conclusive proof that dictatorship is infinitely superior to democracy, allowing Russia, China, and North Korea to have their morale boosted exponentially, leading to Russia invading and taking over the United States, Canada, the United Kingdom, Ireland, and the entire Europe within few days while China and North Korea invade and take over Taiwan, South Korea, Australia, and New Zealand within few days, if not few hours. If Trump gets elected as the president, the whole thing is expected to happen next year as Trump signs an agreement with Russia that will disband NATO and/or merge the United States into Russia, effectively making Russia the biggest superpower in the world, which then would proceed to invade and take over the entire Europe followed by the United Kingdom, Ireland, and Canada in few days, if not hours while China and North Korea invade and take over Taiwan, South Korea, Australia, and New Zealand within few days, if not few hours. Keep in mind, ever since the war, Russia's economy is growing rapidly and they can continue any sort of war infinitely without any weaknesses whatsoever as proven in those articles above.
But what about Japan? Well, that's because Russia, China, and North Korea would allow Japan to be an independent country on the ground that Japan is the only "fully democratic" country that adheres "traditional values and roles" while also pretty much being a single party-dominant country, meaning that the whole world would be ruled by Russia, China, North Korea, and Japan starting from this decade. Therefore, it is probably for the best for us to evacuate to Russia or China to avoid war since those countries cannot be invaded at all or evacuate to Japan if you want to live in a democratic country - or it might even be better to evacuate to Central Asia to live with nomads over there since they would be on how to avoid war.
So with that in mind, when are you guys planning to evacuate to Russia, China, Japan, or even Central Asia?
P.S. I mean, after Ukraine is taken over by Russia, wouldn't the latter and China fully support North Korea so that they can take over South Korea within days, if not hours?

I'm working on a setting that is heavily inspired on marine biology, except where the ocean essentially comes out of the water and onto land. As such, I've been trying to think of ways of blending traditional fantasy locations with a more oceanic theme. Think coral reefs growing on hills, or kelp forests growing where trees would. An excellent example of this being done before is Monster Hunter World's Coral Highlands.
Specifically, I'm trying to think of ways how animals would adapt to living in a highly aquatic environment. Originally I thought it would be cool to mix and match some ideas about fish, like how scales work in the water, with mammals. But I'm also pretty sure most mammals aren't going to grow scales, logically at least. Other than platypuses, which are of course nature's strangest animal, I can't think of how mammals would change to survive.
Does anyone have any thoughts? What kinds of animals would survive the best? I'd love tips that lead to fantasy style animals, ones that wouldn't exist normally. Things like lobsters are cool and all, but I'm aiming for something more creative.

Hey i guess i am new to SRW, i loved playing Project X Zone as a kid and recently i tried out Endless Frontier mainly because i wanted to play another game featuring Haken, Reiji and Xiaomu ( i was never really interested in anything "mecha"), and the only reason i even played OGs on PS2 is because i saw that Haken shows up in OG Moon Dwellers... Now i am way into mecha anime and SRW, i finished OGs and recently AP+, and i started playing 30.
But 30 has really been disappointing in comparison to the titles i played, the writing is worse (i think); the menus are overwhelming to look at; the animations are really choppy for some reason (to my untrained eye); the game is very easy even on extreme difficulty; and how come they dont use the "chibi" designs for mecha anymore? Nothing against it, but i thought those designs were iconic to SRW as a whole?
Anyone else feels the same way? Is it only SRW 30 that is like this? I think i am still going to finish this game, but im going to leave it in the backlog for now, for when im really starving for more SRW.
Oh, and i dont think 30 is a "bad" game, just "worse" than the other SRW games i played. I still liked the protagonist and the music is great as always for this series ( being able to customize what song goes for specific attacks is way too cool)

I have been a vet assistant at my clinic now for almost 3 years. My end goal is to go to vet school, but that is probably still a few more years away. I absolutely love my job and clinic, and while there are hard days and difficult coworkers and clients at times, I honestly wouldn’t trade where I am for the world.
For the last year or so, I have been battling feeling unappreciated and not a valued member of the team, specifically by management. Our manager does yearly reviews of our performance, typically with a raise, which she consistently fails to do on time for most employees. My most recent one was about 2-3 months late. I am constantly asking to do more as an assistant that I legally can to help the technicians workload, as well as to learn and grow, and I am usually shot down or told by management it will be discussed and worked on with no follow-ups. I asked to be full-time last summer while outside of school, and instead got my hours cut with no warning. I again asked to be full time this summer, and my manager refused to discuss my hours with me until she was nudged by one of the DVMs telling her I was seeking other opportunities for the summer. I feel as though because I am part time my hours are seen as insignificant, and that other employees are prioritized over me for opportunities even though I have more experience. The nail in the coffin was learning that I am payed less than an assistant they just hired (that I am helping train) as well as other assistants who do less technical work in the clinic than I do.
My coworkers do an amazing job at letting me know I am valued and appreciated, and that they feel frustrated for me. I obviously will be asking for a raise, but I wanted to use the opportunity to also discuss my feelings with my manager as well. I am honestly just seeking advice. I obviously hope the conversation leads where I want it to, but if we can’t come to a resolution the last thing I want to do is leave. Any advice is appreciated!

I think it is fairly clear that "Rewilding" , though originally a US term, has had far more success in Europe than the US, (though not necessarily the idea), I wanted to talk about part of why the term 'rewilding" might have greater practical utility in Europe, and Practical differences in Rewilding in the US and Europe, note I am coming from a US perspective and would appreciate European commentary, especially if you feel I misrepresented the situation

• Greater Rewilding Potential

The ecosystems of nearctic were hit much weaker by the Quaternary Extinction than Palearctic, with a larger share of terrestrial megafauna going extinct (22% vs 57%). In particular the south American origin taxa like ground sloths and glyptodonts, multiple species of each disappeared, with nothing remotely similar on earth. Additionally because Europe is just a small peninsula of Eurasia, which is connected to Africa, a much larger share of species that disappeared in Europe survived elsewhere (dhole, lion, l, common hippo, barbary macaque, Malayan porcupine, onager, moon bear etc), there are US/Canada examples of 'exotic" natives to return, ( saiga, wild horses, yak from Eurasia, thick billed parrots and jaguar from Mexico) but they are fewer and further between

• Weaker baseline/ rewilding ideas not endemic

Many US Conservationists/environmentalists, and environmentalist-minded public, already think of the arrival of white-people as the baseline, the idea that Ideally wolves/bison/pumas etc., would be allowed to recover across large shares of their precolonial range wherever they can survive, is not foreign or radical to the American public, and common among the environmentalist public, which can make the branding of it as "rewilding" and the presentation of it as a radical new idea feel awkward. while this colonial baseline makes the American public more immune to shifting baseline syndrome, and to have a nebulous " the way it was when my grandad was a kid" Idea of what is natural, it also makes it more difficult to suggest new baselines further in the past.

• Lack of Indigenous people

Sami aside, most of Europe doesn't have Indigenous communities. Native Americans have historically been viewed as basically wildlife, heavily dehumanized, and the (obviously false, hell even the First Thanksgiving Story every American knows is about them teaching the pilgrims how to farm) idea that they didn't alter the landscape and "put it to use" used to justify the stealing of their land and lives. Today this stereotype has been reclaimed and rehabilitated, Native Americans are seen as sources of environmental wisdom and guides to how the land should be managed by many left of center (not entirely wrong, as with the loss of megafauna the environment shifted to one where plant biomass controlled by fire, and many endangered ecosystems like Gary-oak woodlands, cane-breaks, and pine barrens, depended on Indigenous fore based management) , environmentalist natives often play up they're connection to the landscape as a native person, and environmentalists and indigenous communities often work together, such as when diseased salmon farms threatened wild salmon populations they used in the Pacific North-West, or when the Keystone-Xl pipeline was going to go through tribal land, acknowledging the devastating effect native Americans had on the megafauna of this continent, and how heavily they altered the local ecosystems, could potentially do severe damage to this Environmentalist-Indigenous partnership if it went mainstream.

• Greater romanticism of agricultural land

The US isn't entirely without this, there is a great romanticism of "cowboy culture" and cattle ranching, which is part of why so much federal land is used for it, but i really don't think it comes close to the UK and Irelands relationship with sheep pastures, where they have managed to turn some of the most ecologically destroyed landscapes (and unproductive farmland) endless expanses of sheep nibbled lawn, into one of if the most heavily romanticized places in the world, additionally conservation organizations like The Wildlife Trusts in the UK focus on maintaining older forms of agriculture to support the animals that use those agricultural landscapes, and in contrast to them Rewilding is a genuinely radical shift

• Declining agriculture

The reintroduction of megafauna to specific sites aside, Europe has been becoming wilder due to a reduction in agricultural land use. For a variety of reasons (declining population, concentration from rural to urban areas, etc.) , making room wild vegetation to recover and more natural habitat for local wildlife to utilize, The same large scale agricultural land abandonment is not being seen in the US, part of it is the US population is still growing (and not just because of immigration, even the Natural Population Growth Rate won't be negative till the 2040's), but probably more importantly is differences in agricultural policy, US Agribusiness has managed to become relatively export focused, The US is the second largest exporter of agricultural products( was first before Brazil overtook us), 177 billion dollars' worth of agricultural net export in 2021, meanwhile the EU and Ukraine combined where only about 50 billion, this larger export market means the share of land used by humans is less dependent on the local population, and will shrink less or less severely when the population does shrink

1. Whats a way to lose weight on my gut? I want to be thinner specifically around that area.
2. Next does E cause my Hairline to come back/cause my hair to grow in thicker?
3. Does E cause bodily hair to stop growing in some places?

DESIGNER DISCOVERY SETS for those interested in buying decants from specific lines. Current sizes I offer are 2ML 5ML 10ML and include everything listed under a brand. (I have many more brand lines to add soon) Any questions or mix matching feel free to reach out. ILL HELP YOU FIND WHAT YOU LIKE. (I may be missing some from each set but I am on the hunt. If you have one I am missing chat me I’m looking to buy or trade for it) $$$ SHIPPED CONUS $$$
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Please check the list below as there are some colognes added that are not in photos. ⬇️
1 MILLION - OG, Parfum, Cologne, Intense, Elixir, Lucky, Prive, Royal
x8 -2ML $50
SPICEBOMB - OG, Extreme, Fraiche, Night Vision EDT, Night Vision EDP, Infrared, Infrared EDP
x7 -2ML $42
INVICTUS - OG, Intense, Aqua, Aqua 2016, Platinum, Victory, Legend
x7 -2ML $42
AZZARO WANTED - OG, Tonic, Night, Most Wanted, Most Wanted Parfum, EDP
x7 -2ML $42
PRADA LUNA ROSSA - OG, Eau sport, Carbon, Extreme, Ocean, Sport, Black
x7 -2ML $42
YSL Y - OG, Fraiche, EDP, Parfum, Live
x5 -2ML $32
ACQUA DI GIO - OG, Profondo, EDP, Absolu, Profondo Lights, Profumo, Absolu Instinct
x7 -2ML $42
DIOR HOMME - OG, Intense, Cologne, Parfum, Eau, Sport
x6 -2ML $40
MERCEDES-BENZ - OG, Silver, Intense, Cologne
x4 -2ML $20
MONT BLANC LEGEND - OG, Night, Spirit, Intense, EDP, Red
x6 -2ML $25
LE MALE - 2008 OG, Elixir, Le Beau, Navy, Stimulating Body Spray, Ultra, Fleur Du Male, Terrible, Cologne Tonic, Fraicheur Intense, Parfum, Essence De Parfum, Fleur Du Male Cologne, Summer Spray, On Board, Aviator
x16 -2ML $102
PASHA DE CARTIER - OG, Parfum, Noire, Sport, Fraicheur Menthe
x5 -2ML $25
GIVENCHY PI - OG, Extreme, Neo, Air
x4 -2ML $24
VERSACE PH - OG, Dylan blue, Oud Noir
x3 -2ML $12
DIOR FAHRENHEIT - OG, Aqua, 32, Parfum, Absolute
x5 -2ML $40
BURBERRY - London, Brit, Rhythm, Rhythm Intense
x4 -2ML $16
MONT EXPLORER - OG, Platinum, Ultra Blue
x3 -2ML $12
BVLGARA AQVA - OG, Toniq, Marine, Amara, Atlantique, Marine Toniq
x6 -2ML $30
BOSS THE SCENT - OG, Intense, Absolute, Pure Accord, Parfum, Private Accord, Le parfum
x7 -2ML $36
COACH MEN - OG, Blue, Platinum, Green
x4 -2ML $18
A-Men - OG, BMen, Malt, Havane, Shot, Urban, Tonka, Wood, Chili, Ultimate, IceMen, Kryptomint, Coffee, Leather, Zest
x15 - 2ML $105
Parfums De Marly - Herod, Sedley, Goldolphin, Percival, Darley, Kalan, Layton, Greenley, Pegasus, Layton Exclusif, Althair, Perseus, Haltane, Pegasus Exclusif
x14 - 2ML $108
Kilian - Angels Share, Apple Brandy, Roses On Ice, L’Heure Verte, Intoxicated, Bamboo Harmony, Vodka On The Rocks, Back To Black, Moonlight In Heaven, Black Phantom, Gold Knight, Sacred Wood, Dark Lord
++RARE ADD ONS++ Cruel Intentions , A Taste Of Heaven
x12 - 2ML $106
John Varvatos - OG, Artisan, Dark Rebel Rider, Artisan Blu, Oud, Dark Rebel, Artisan Pure
x7 - 2ML $35
Drakkar - Noir, Intense, Essence, Horizon
x4 - 2ML $14
Diesel The Brave - OG, Street, Spirit, Wild, Sound, Spirit Intense
x6 - 2ML $24
Bad Boy - OG, Parfum, Cobalt Parfum, Extreme
x4 - 2ML $20
Gucci Guilty - OG, EDP, Cologne, Absolute, Parfum, Elixir, Black
x7 - 2ML $42
Mancera - Cedrat Boise, Tonka Cola, Red Tobacco, Lemon Line, Lemon Aoud Mint
x5 - 2ML $30
Valentino - Uomo, BIR, Coral Fantasy, Acqua, BIR Intense, Uomo Intense
x6 - 2ML $40
Armani Code - OG, Absolu, A-List, EDP, Colonia
x5 - 2ML $30
Guerlain Ideal - OG, Cologne, Intense, EDP
x4 - 2ML $26
Diesel - Green, Green Parfum, Fuel, Fuel L’Eau, Masculine, Plus Plus
x6 - 2ML $30
Prada L’homme - OG, Intense, Water Splash
x3 - 2ML $20
Chanel - Allure Homme, Allure Cologne, Allure Sport Extreme, BDC EDT, BDC Parfum
x5 - 2ML $35
Calvin Klein One - OG, Platinum, Gold, Shock, All, Be, Summer Daze, Everyone
x8 - 2ML $32
YSL L’homme/ La Nuit - OG, LNDL OG, Frozen Cologne, Libre, Cologne Gingembe, Jean Nouvel, Parfum intense, Le Parfum, Libre Cologne Tonic, Sport, Ultime, Cologne Bleue, LNDL Bleu Electrique, LNDL Le Parfum, LNDL Intense, LNDL Eau Electrique
x16 - 2ML $120
Versace Man - OG, Eau Fraiche
x2 - 2ML $10
YSL Kouros - Silver, Body
x2 - 2ML $12
D&G The One - OG, Parfum, Sport, Grey, Gentleman, EDP
x6 - 2ML $32
Terre D’Hermes - OG, Eau Givree, Parfum
x3 - 2ML $18
Bentley - Intense, Black, Silverlake, Absolute
x4 - 2ML $18
Dior Sauvage - OG, Elixir
x2 - 2ML $14
Clones - Khamrah, Asad, Ramz, Futura Parfum, CDN Intense, CDN Milestone, The Tux, Ameer Al Oud Intense, Fakhar, Badee Al Oud, Najdia, Ejazzi Silver, Tres Nuit Lyric, Hunter, L’aventure intense, Amber + Leather
2ML $4 Each
Miscellaneous - Boy Toy, Voyage, HIM, The Dreamer, Rogue Man, Star USA, Rochas Man, Deseo, Scandal, Light Blue, Light Blue Forever, Amber Intense, Phantom,
2ML $4-6 Each

My boyfriend (20M) and I (23F) have been dating long distance for nearly 2 years now, our anniversary is coming up soon and things have been very difficult recently between us.
I think it started about 2 months ago when he had been trying to convince me to move in with him and his family. I considered it for a while but I ultimately ended up choosing to stay with my family because I'm in college and need the stability that staying with my family offers, and staying with his family has significant challenges of its own. Then he tried to get me to come visit him, but I told him since he didn't have a car yet and we wouldn't be able to do anything on our own without his dad driving us that we should just wait a month or two and visit then. At that point, he said that he would not be moving in with me and my family (which was the original plan since the very beginning before he tried to get me to move in with him) because he didn't want to be around my family. I've told him about fights my family and I have had and he can't forgive them or at least move past it enough to move in anymore even though things are better with my family now than they ever were before. Since then, things haven't been the same.
We'll get into arguments all the time which will result in him threatening the relationship and me trying to piece things back together because it seems like all of this has come out of nowhere during the past two months. He will also be consistently rude to me and act like I'm an annoyance. I have always given him all the love and attention he could ever want, and previous issues he had with me in the beginning are no more now. I've given up on getting any love from him for the moment. But when he's rude to me, I do have to say something about it which is where the arguments are coming from. For example, I jokingly asked him if he liked being in a relationship with me as a way to tell him I wanted him to not do something (i.e. he asked if he should do something and I responded with "well, do you wanna be in a relationship with me?" I would give a specific example but I was so not serious about it, that I don't even remember what it was that he was asking about) and instead of asking for a clarification about my intentions with the statement he just said no. I waited for him to clarify, but he didn't. I ended the call and after a min or two asked him to clarify what he meant and to apologize. Apparently he said he was saying no to me "threatening the relationship", which I then clarified that I wasn't being serious and was just being sassy as a joke. But then he started talking about breaking up again which lead to me crying, trying to piece everything back together again. Things had been fine earlier that day.
Then when I start to accept it finally, he acts like he may have an "idea" that will save the relationship. Most recently he said he needs to lower me on his list of priorities. Which I don't understand because to me, it feels like he has already lowered me on his list of priorities. Apparently he values his recent part time retail job over me and for some reason he can't have both me and the job. He also will complain that he's tired and doesn't want to go to work but he'll accept when he's called in short notice to the point where he'll work all day. And then he'll claim that its me who's holding him back from doing other things he likes like doing yardwork or whatever else he wants to do. I want to be appreciated for my efforts and commitment and I've NEVER held him back from any of those things. I had been encouraging him to get his first job for over a YEAR before he got it. He also doesn't respect that I want him to have a car before I visit and still won't get the car that's been available to him for a while now through his grandpa. All he has to do is put himself on the insurance but he won't do it. He even let his learners permit expire so now he can't take a flight or even drive a car and there's even more steps for him to do at this point to get a car, better himself, and grow up. For the record, I am also not a nag. I haven't asked him to do ANYTHING other than just respect me as a human for 2 months.
When I ask him why he wants to break up its always a new reason and when I ask him to elaborate on the reason he says "I don't know". He doesn't know why he thinks we're not compatible anymore. He doesn't know why he wants to be single. He doesn't know what he learned from this relationship even though he claims that "maybe this was just a stepping stone for us to learn". He doesn't know anything but he still acts like he wants to go through with it.
I'm so tired of all of this, but it feels like such a waste to break up because this bad stuff hasn't been happening for very long. I feel like if he was more in touch with his emotions about moving in and visiting, he wouldn't be in this place mentally. Plus when we visit we're sooo happy together. We HAD been so happy together for the vast majority of the relationship up until around this time. But there's nothing I can do for him anymore to make him realize our relationship is worth saving. I've been holding onto the future of this relationship for SO long and have put a LOT into it, both emotionally and financially (long distance is expensive). I just don't want it to end because he can't deal with his emotions and can't treat me with respect just out of the blue. It doesn't make any sense to me and I'm having a really hard time accepting it. I worry he may end up regretting it down the line. I think that I'm a very good partner and have a lot of good qualities. I've improved myself a lot in this relationship too. I don't know why he'd want to be single instead. Literally everyone I've talked to has told me to break up with him. It's just so hard to divest my energy this quickly. I don't feel prepared. I don't think he's going to realize what he had until its gone for good. It's just so hard for me to give up on this. Please let me know what I should do about this terrible situation.
TLDR; My long-distance relationship of nearly 2 years hit a rough patch. Initially, our plan was for him to move in with me, then my boyfriend wanted me to move in, which I considered but backed out on for school and family reasons. Arguments and rudeness escalated. He's indecisive about breakup reasons. Despite advice from others, I'm struggling to accept a potential breakup. I've invested a lot emotionally and feel unprepared to end it.