When Annika woke up, she found herself floating inside her apartment. Her now abandoned apartment. She walked out of the apartment where she used to live and saw the calendar. Three years have passed and it is now 2024. She then saw a mysterious woman surrounded by the darkness and walked over to her. She introduced herself as Iris.
"What happened to me?" she asked. Iris pondered for a moment before saying, "Well, you have been dead for a long time since you were murdered by your son."
"Oh," she said, the sadness forming on her face. "But don't worry, there is one way for you to reach the afterlife," Iris said to her. "You need to confront the ones who have mistreated you and banish them back to hell."
"But how would I do that?"
She took out some string and two jars with the names of her former husband and son. "Your son was killed when he tried to murder his therapist, yes?" he inquired. Annika was confused, but she nodded anyway.
"Well, all you have to do is tie up your son with the string and say the words, 'I banish thee to this jar!' three times and then use these bottle caps to seal him away so that he can never come out," she explained. "Are you willing to take on this momentous task?"
Annika nodded and Iris smiled. "Good. Now bring me the impure souls of your husband and son and make sure to keep them properly sealed."
Once the woman left, Annika began her quest to find the malevolent spirits of the one who used her to get what he wanted and the one who killed her. As she continued, Annika noticed red eyes peering down on her. She tried to keep walking, but the eyes continued to follow her and the next thing she knew, someone lunged at her.
It was the ghost of her son, Benedikt Dorfmann as he tried to strangle his mother screaming, "I HATE YOU, MOM! I HATE YOU!" Annika knew she had to do something before he ended her afterlife.
Soon, she found something she could use a weapon(the crowbar)and she bashed Benedikt's head with it and soon, he fell unconscious immediately. This gave her enough time to open the jar and say the magic words, "I banish thee. I banish thee. I banish thee." The spirit was then pulled all the way into the jar and Annika sealed the jar really tight. Whew. She thought with a sigh of relief. One down, one left to go.
As she packed up her things, Annika sensed a drop in the temperature. She picked up the pace and looked around to see if there was any sign of Hendrik, her former husband. Then, she saw a tall man with dark brown hair and red eyes. She began to back away, but the man continued to follow her.
Just as Annika was about to run, the man began to run after her. In his pursuit, he yelled, "ANNIKA! WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME! WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME!" Annika refused to look back and just kept running for miles and miles until she found herself backed into a corner.
"You were supposed to love me!" he screamed at her, the anger bubbling in his vocal cords. "Why won't you love me anymore!?" Annika took a deep breath and said in a low voice, "You think I would love you again after what you did to my first love? You took all of that away from me and you should be ashamed of yourself for it."
Hendrik pleaded for forgiveness, but it was too little too late as Annika took out the last jar and said the words, "I banish thee! I banish thee! I BANISH THEE!"
In that moment, Hendrik found himself getting dragged into the bottle and he could not only see all of the horrible things he did, but also the sins his ancestors committed from his great uncle Stefan murdering the girls in his mansion to his great-great grandfather beating up one of the Jews during the Nazi era. He continued to scream until he was forced into the jar and Annika sealed it shut.
Later, as Annika gave the jars back to Iris, she smiled back at the woman who helped her and soon, a bald-headed man in black robes came to take the souls away back to hell before vanishing in the darkness. A flight of stairs then appeared before them and together, Annika took Iris' hand as they ascended to heaven.

(Disclosure: I'm up 16% YTD. I only hold my strongest convictions with a 7 positions at one time max. Paypal is my strongest conviction at the moment, relative to valuations in the wider market and my own portfolio. I've had a sizeable position in Paypal since before the Q3'23 report (at $51) and bought along the way. Today I doubled down and it's now my largest position with a weighting of 33%.)
Q1'2024 in a nutshell:

Q1'24 saw accelerated revenue growth (revenue +10% on currency neutral basis, total payment volume +14%) and faster EPS growth (+27% YoY on new non-GAAP accounting measure where, they take into account the impact of SBC, a unique transparency on the Nasdaq!). Free cash flow was $1.8B in Q1.
Q1'24 was the 7th straight quarterly earnings beat and the 3rd straight quarter of margin improvement. GAAP operating margin at 15.2% which is healthy as the company claims it's in a transition year.
Shares outstanding have reduced 5% on a trailing 12-month basis.
Cash & cash equivalents are $17.7B with a net cash position of $6.7B. That's 10% of their current market cap ($67B)
Share buybacks $1.5B in Q1'24, heading for $6B for the whole year (company guiding "at least $5B"), so another 5-6% reduction of shares outstanding this year.
FCF guidance for "about $5B". That means at a $67B market cap it's trading at 13.5x FCF including net cash, as the S&P500 is trading at a 26x multiple.
Active accounts are actually up on a sequential basis. Very small drop YoY. Keep in mind Paypal (like other online payment services) had a boom during Covid and this had to correct eventually. It did, and now they're starting to show the first signs of new growth

Some thoughts and numbers I wanted to share but don't want to neatly organise:
Everyone been saying its a dead company for over a year. The numbers keep telling a different story, with Q1'24 being the 7th time in a row they've beaten expectiations significantly. They are still a blue chip with 38% market share in a futureproof market thats growing its TAM at 9.5% CAGR into 2030. Their agressive buyback program is putting a turbo on your future returns whenever this idiotic market starts looking at financials instead of charts again. A nice buy and hold and eventually you'll be rewarded by simple math and patience. They still have $17.7 billion in cash to do buybacks, while they generate another $5 billion per year on top of that. This company is fucking flooding with cash and MGMT has told explicitly their buyback is one of the mail pillars to drive shareholder returns. (+27% YoY increase in EPS is a testament to this).
The Covid-boom in online shopping and payments, combined with the general stock market boom in 2021 led to an insane valuation and as with all these stocks: when the bubble burst there were LOTS of retail bagholders. Remember Terry Smiths quality-fund 'Fundsmith' used to have a sizeable Paypal position, but sold out because of capital allocation issues by the former management and declining margins. He was right about that. However, the company has since gotten new management, and their Q1 results have already seen significant improvement in the key metrics. Revenue growth is accellerating, margins are improving, active accounts have at least stabilized and it looks like we have reached a turning point. That's one of the main things I'll be looking for in Q2'24. Imo, the decline in active accounts is a sole result of the Covid-boom&bust. Lots of users who didn't need it after the lockdowns stopped using their accounts. We've seen the bottom and I'm pretty sure we're gonna see it return to growth into 2025. Their new offerings and marketing inititives should support this.
The new CEO (Alex Chriss, ex-Intuit) and CFO (ex-Ernst&Young) have strong track records and (at least to me) have given a pretty decent impression in their first few months.
American retail (and fund managers) vastly underestimate the moat of Paypal in Europe.
Our bank services and credit card culture differ widely from Americans. For A LOT of Europeans, Paypal is one of the only trusted options to pay for products and especially services (Netflix, Spotify, Office, etc) online. I know more without credit cards than people who have. They all use Paypal for their subsciptions (Netflix, Spofity, Office, etc.). Paypal is convenient AF and never had any issue. The only payment service that provides their level of costumer protection. I cannot stress this enough: their brand name in most EU countries is véry strong.
Paypal is more than Paypal branded checkout.
Paypal owns Venmo. They haven't fully explained how they are supposed to make it generate cash, but I'm confident they'll eventually find a way. Just reminding people they're not that out-of-fashion as commonly believed.
Paypal owns Braintree. It's a payment processor that also runs the backend when you use Apple Pay for example. They compete with Adyen and Stripe on this. Paypal branded checkout kinda competes with Braintree internally. Paypal branded checkout used to be the strongest, now branded checkout is stalling, while Braintree is growing double digit every quarter. Braintree is a lower-margin business, so when transaction volume shifts internally from branded to Braintree, overall margins decline. This has been the main driver for the margin decline post-2021. Margins have been improving for 3 quarters in a row now. The narrative of online payments being a fast race to the bottom is untrue. Even Adyen (strong growth company who stole Ebay from Paypal) has seen a significant decline in margins so they're not interested in a price war. TAM is huge, there's more than enough room for multiple strong companies to co-exist. Paypal is still the largest with 38% market share, while simultaneously having the best balance sheet and the lowest valuation.

I finally finished Secrets of Grindea on the hardest difficulty, getting the true ending and 100% completion ingame, took me about 30 hours which I think is very reasonable, doesn't overstay its welcome. Here's a short review in case anyone is thinking of getting it, no spoilers of course.
Story:
As the game tries to emulate SNES JRPGs, the story consists of you collecting various macguffins to achieve your goal that becomes clear as you progress through the game. That's all I can say without spoilers.
Music:
It's very good, one of the game's strongest parts. You got cheerful songs that make you forget about your worries, you got spooky songs, you got desert theme, you got sick orchestral songs. It's overall very good, one issue is that most of the songs are roughly a 1 minute loop so you will get tired of them eventually.
Controls:
They are not the tightest, I often found myself shielding in the wrong direction because the shield came out slightly too late or using a skill in the wrong direction, it just doesn't feel tight enough especially for the later bosses. The hitboxes in the game are also very bad.
Gameplay:
As the name implies, there is grinding. As I said at the start it took me about 30 hours grinding included, multiple retries at bosses to learn them so it's on the lighter side of JRPG grinds. The gameplay has a lot of variety with 2 melee skill trees, 4 magic skill trees and 9 utility skills that are neither and 3 separate passive skill trees so there is a decent amount of variety and player expression. I tried out a bunch of the skills and they all mostly felt good, I played a melee tanky 2 hander.
The main thing you will be grinding for is cards which give you small stat boosts that add up, for 100% you will also be grinding for enemy specific drops which are usually 1% or less droprate or materials to craft every item for completion. Cards start at a very low droprate depending on the enemy, some enemies start at 1% but most start below 0.5%, however there is a pity system that slowly increases your chance and I don't think I needed more than 400 kills of any enemy to get their cards.
Balance:
The balance is very questionable. In my experience 2H was significantly worse than 1H but I'm stubborn so I refused to switch, I never used basic attacks on 2H because they are very slow and their damage does not make up for it, I bonked everything to death with the slam attack. Armor is kind of useless unless you specifically stack it. Hybrid builds are not very good because you will just not deal enough damage, you can also only max out 2 spells completely by level 40 which is the soft level cap. Skills past a level need Gold Skill Points which you don't get a lot of.
Utility skills are amazing so they will be taking up majority of your hotkey slots, they also only cost 3 points to max out so their value is massive.
I think balance needs some work but it's not gamebreaking.
Puzzles:
I'm not a puzzle guy but the puzzles were pretty fun. You got usual sokoban, you got bouncy mirror puzzles, you got math puzzles, you have treasure maps with images and poems. They are mostly easy and don't take a lot of time to do with the exception of a few optional puzzles.
Enemies:
You got basic things like slimes, rabbits, boars, but there is also sand golem, ghosts, yetis, stone statues, teleports behind you man. The overall enemy design and roster is very varied and they are all unique but there is one problem. During grinding, the longer you stay in a room the more enemies will spawn and this gets really bad after halfway into the game because there is a lot of enemies that got massive attacks or shoot projectiles nonstop so the entire screen will be covered in projectiles and you cannot see. Enemies can also interrupt your spellcasting if you get hit, there is a passive that gives you a chance not to get interrupted the more armor you have but if you are a spellcaster, you don't have enough armor to use that effectively, even my melee bonker with 150 defense often got interrupted which is very annoying.
Bosses:
The part I'm the most mixed about. There is a lot of gimmicky bosses, some normal bosses that are just dodge checks and some bosses that will make you want to turn the game off. There is a lot of bosses that take from the enemies in filling the screen with projectiles nonstop but the lack of tightness in the controls makes dodging them very annoying. There are bosses that are multiple bosses so you have to pay attention to 4 different things and try to block all of them at once which you can't so you will get hit unfairly because you can't look at everything at once. Of course every boss can be beaten with a little trying or grinding but majority of them wasn't very fun, the rest of the game is but the bosses feel like they were made for a different game.
The game also has an issue with insane difficulty spikes out of nowhere.
True Final Boss:
This needs its own section.
It took me about 3 hours to beat him and he was incredibly hard but for the wrong reasons. Its attacks are randomized and they can overlap in various ways, some way harder to dodge than others so it becomes a really RNG heavy fight when the fight is supposed to be pure skill with no cheese strats. On the highest difficulty, the fight takes away your health potion and your magic bubble so you cannot use them, it's meant as a fight to show your mastery of the game. It requires really split second parries and turns and really tight dodging but as mentioned above, the controls aren't the greatest so you will get hit when you thought you blocked the attack combined with dodgy hitboxes.
It's a very cinematic fight though and I am 100% happy that I spent the effort into getting the fight and actually learning it despite all of its issues.
Overall:
I think the game is a very solid 7/10, it has its issues but it's still a great game even if it pissed me off in a couple of places and I would definitely recommend. I haven't even touched the arcade mode yet which has its own story and own gameplay, I'll do that later.

Credit to Blue for the wonderful cover art of Trilvri
Thank you to:
u/SpacePaladin15 for creating the Nature of Predators universe.
u/EdibleGojid, author of Dark Cuts, for proofreading.
EmClear, aspiring author, for proofreading
You, the reader, for your support. I love reading your comments.
Please consider reading the works of my proofreaders as they’re all authors of excellent stories and be sure to check the links below for more of my work and beautiful art from members of the community.
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Memory transcription subject: Sawvek, Junior Extermination Officer
Date [standardised human time]: October 5th, 2136
Hard foam presses uncomfortably up against delicate pressure points situated across the length of my entire body, building up to an unbearable ache that makes me shift and turn against the thin mattress pad. I yank at the rough old blanket I’d taken out of storage and clutch it even tighter around my body, trying to keep out the chill. The best racks, the ones near the heating vents, had already been claimed long before I’d decided to move into the Guild House’s Barracks and it doesn’t seem likely that the current occupants will be giving up their spots any time soon.
My mind is still racing from the events of last paw, replaying the scene over and over again in my dreams and in my head. The way my brother had looked at me… That look on his face when he’d seen the real me…
My paw gives a sympathetic throb in memory, still aching from where it had met the wall, but at least I had been able to wrap it up a bit and stop the bleeding. I feel like I should take it as a small miracle that it isn't broken. More medical bills are the last thing I need right now.
I turn about in the bunk once more, rolling around in vain to try and find a comfortable position that doesn’t seem to exist. Through a conscious act of will I try to empty my mind and sleep, but the very act of trying not to think about things only brings them bubbling back up to the surface of my thoughts. My heartbeat echoes in my ears, a damnable drumming sound brought about by the exertion of my own restless tossing and turning. Out in the hallway I can hear the muffled shuffling of feet and murmurs of conversation. The Guild Hall never sleeps, and it seems that neither would I this paw.
Electing to abandon the attempt as hopeless, I cut my rest claw short and get up, venturing out into the hallway. If I can’t sleep anyway then I might as well start my waking claw early, maybe get in a little exercise. It’s not so bad when it’s self-directed, almost fun in a way. If our family had the money to support it then maybe I could have been an athlete of some variety growing up. I had always possessed something of a natural physicality.
“Stop wasting time with worthless questions about what could have been, Killer.” The voice interjects, early and active today by the sound of it. “You’ll never amount to anything more than a wild predator kept on a leash.”
There’s nothing to do but sigh and carry on. It was right after all. This is it. This is my life now.
Making my way down the hallway towards the gym I find myself walking past a row of private offices assigned to some of the more veteran officers on staff. Most are empty at this claw, their occupants either asleep or off doing other work. One room in particular catches my attention though, the one belonging to our newest PRED Team Commander.
The door leading inside is open and ajar, seemingly forgotten in the midst of more pressing business and granting me a look inside. The entire room is a mess, papers and binders strewn about everywhere with official looking documents littering the floor. A map of the city decorates the otherwise unadorned and impersonal space. On its face it hosts a variety of multicoloured pins, all connecting seemingly arbitrary locations as well as photographs of people and places from the records department. The face of the former PRED Team Commander, Vrienna, looks out at me once again with the same cruel eyes that decorate the memorial wall. Beside her photo are another pair of eyes, a pair I recognise, but not one I would have expected to see here.
Trilvri, my brother’s creepy coworker, the one who’d brought him home the night he’d drunk himself into a stupor, stares out at me from the wall. He was younger in this photo, barely of age, if even that, and dressed in a regulation space corps flight suit, but I could still recognise him. Trilvri’s eyes appear somehow more lively than when I had met him in person, though it does nothing to improve his overall disposition, looking, as they are, as if behind them resides only hatred and a feral desire to kill and rend. Come to think of it, he had mentioned he used to be in the corps hadn’t he? ‘Used to’ being the operative word. When I’d asked he hadn’t seemed particularly fond of his time in the service…
Situated as he is next to Vrienna like that, their pitch-black wool and evil-looking eyes bear a striking resemblance. It was the exact same sort of predatory expression that bore into your soul, the kind that made me feel weak and exposed, the same kind that was worn by-
“What do you think you’re doing in my office?” A voice asks from behind, nonplussed, but with a casual depth of power and authority behind it that makes me freeze on the spot.
“Commander Glagrig, Sir!” I turn about on the spot, fixed at attention in the doorway as I stare up at the man himself. “I’m sorry to intrude. I noticed someone had forgotten to close the door so I was just going to secure it.”
“I see.” Glagrig doesn’t seem to believe a word of it, but neither does he seem inclined to press the issue. “At ease. Tell me, do you recognise the man in the photo there? Have you ever seen him before?”
“No, Commander.” I lie reflexively as I shift to a parade rest, not fully knowing why, but knowing that whatever is going on I want no part of it, for me or my brother. It’s only after the fact that it occurs to me that lying might be worse than telling the truth.
“How… regrettable.” The prestige officer says plainly and I can’t tell whether he believes me or not. “If you do ever catch sight of this individual, then be sure to let me know immediately.”
“Y-Yes, Commander.” I subconsciously swallow with apprehension, hoping that he doesn’t notice. I want nothing more than to run away as quickly as I can, but I haven’t been dismissed yet.
“Junior Officer Sawvek, was it?” Glagrig carries on, looking me up and down, dissecting me with his eyes. “You have quite the interesting record on file and Officer Intalran is quite adamant about your potential. Your simulator results speak for themselves, even if they are just simulations.”
“Thank you, Commander.” I can feel myself growing dizzy as I answer with uncertainty.
“Don’t thank me,” the all-consuming void in front of me replies with no hint of warmth, “just remember that your performance is under evaluation. It’s in my interests to keep note of promising young aspirants who might someday join my team, and I would hate to see you squander your talents.”
“I-I understand, Commander.” I flick my tail in agreement, straining not to look away towards the floor.
“Dismissed.” Glagrig brushes past me as he enters his office, moving to shut the door behind himself.
“Um, Commander?” I ask just before the door shuts, feeling a beckoning call of curiosity that even the predatory prestige exterminator couldn’t crush. “If you don’t mind me asking… Why do you have all that stuff up on the wall there?”
The door opens again, just a crack, and I can feel my superiors' weighty presence bearing down on me, almost suffocating in its intensity. “It’s simply a personal matter. I have reason to believe that the prior investigation regarding the kelach incident was conducted according to… insufficient standards. The predator responsible was never found and I intend to remedy that deficiency.”
“How hard could it be to find a kelach?” I tilt my ears in confusion. “They're huge!”
“Despite initial reports,” he answers with an ominous, cold tone that sends a chill up my spine, “it may be possible that we're dealing with something far more dangerous than just a kelach.”
“T-Thank you, Commander.” I flick my tail in appreciation and the door closes.
I breathe a sigh of relief as the malevolent aura recedes. That was too close.
“And you’re a complete moron going back to ask him more questions afterwards, Killer.” The voice rises with amusement. “What? Do you want him to figure you out and turn you to cinders? Only a matter of time, Killer.”
“Ugh, shut up.” I mutter under my breath, quickly turning back around to make sure Commander Glagrig didn’t hear me, but when no reprisal comes I quickly depart. If I’m gonna be stupid I should at least try not to do so right in front of his office.
As the imminent threat of our in-house prestige exterminator dwindles so too does the energy driven by the adrenaline of the encounter. It figures that the moment I roll out of bed I want to take a nap again, but I know the moment I lie back down I’ll be back to full wakefulness in an instant. That’s just how that sort of thing works. With that in mind there’s really only one solution, a big, steaming hot cup of tea.
Making my way towards the tea machine I spot Jonsco, the feisty little primitive that mans our dispatch centre, smacking the top of the dispenser with a clenched paw while holding a mug underneath it.
“Is the tea machine fixed?” I ask as I pull out a mug from the cabinet myself.
Jonsco sighs heavily and shoots me a combative glare. “For the last time it’s not my brahking job to fix this damn tea machine! You got a problem with that then you can go pester someone else about it!”
I shrink back under the harsh rebuke. Jonsco may be small, but there was as much rage and fury condensed into that little package as anyone else in this department. Maybe more.
“I… I didn’t mean to imply…I just wanted to know if it was working again or not… Sorry.” I sputter out, feeling properly admonished as I look away towards the ground.
Jonsco looks at me quizzically, his hard glare softening somewhat as he seems to truly see me for the first time before returning to his usual scowl.
“Right…Whatever you say…” With one final smack the machine coughs and chokes, sputtering to life with a struggle, and a small trickle of freshly brewed tea begins to fill Jonsco’s cup. “The machine is on the fritz again as usual, but if you hit it just right, do a little percussive maintenance, then you can get it started again.”
“Thanks, Jonsco.” I lean back against the wall and watch as the mug slowly fills, impressed by the primitives know-how. “That's actually pretty smart of you.”
“For a ‘primitive’ right?” The words are barbed and spiteful, but lack his typical enthusiasm, more of a simple statement of fact than a real question. I couldn't exactly deny it, those had been my thoughts, and so the silence drags on awkwardly, marked only by the splash of tea falling into the steadily rising pool.
“What are you doing here at this claw anyway?” I eventually ask, dodging the question entirely. “We’ve still got at least another half-claw until our crew's shift is supposed to start.”
“I could ask you the same thing, you know?” The angry little dispatch operator retorts. “I'm here early working an overtime shift so I can afford to put food on my family's table. It's expensive feeding that many mouths. What's your excuse?”
“I had a fight with my brother…” I rub the back of my neck as I turn away abashedly, “moved out of the apartment and into the barracks full time… couldn't sleep…”
“Well then you should hurry up and work on patching things up with him.” Jonsco looks at me with an uncharacteristic hint of sympathy in his eyes. “Your family are the only ones who might actually care. This Gods-damned place is a slyther’s nest and no one here gives a speh about you or your problems. If you want my advice, you should do your best to spend as little time in this cesspool as possible.”
With his cup now full, Jobsco steps back from the machine and begins walking out towards the main hall.
“Thanks, Jonsco.” My words stop him in his tracks as he walks away from me. “I appreciate it.”
“... You're welcome.” He says after a short pause, glancing back to look at me one more time before leaving. “See you around, Sawvek.”
Taking advantage of the tea machine while it’s still mostly working, I fill up my own cup and drink deeply of the warm, fragrant beverage. The taste is bitter and unpleasant, just about the quality I would expect of this Guild Hall, but even at the first taste it’s evident that it’s been loaded with an extra strength dose of caffeine. I down the drink quickly and rinse out the cup before continuing on my journey towards the training hall. Fatigue begins to fall away as I walk, bit by bit as the drug makes its way into my bloodstream, blocking off sleep receptors and energising me. I know I’ll probably pay for it later, no amount of caffeine can actually replace sleep, but for now it feels good and I can see how some people can get addicted to the stuff.
A loud, metallic clanging emanates from the gym as I approach, something unexpected for this time of paw. No one's reserved space in the gym for this claw and not many people are industrious enough to sweat on their own initiative. Peeking my head inside the door I spy Bikim, the perfect, privileged, ‘holier than thou’ brahkass occupying the otherwise empty weight room. His irritatingly handsome face is taut with strain as he performs a series of weighted squats, his back and leg muscles straining underneath his short-cropped wool, and he pants heavily under the exertion.
I’m half tempted just to leave and go back to bed despite the fact that there’s no way I’d be getting any sleep with the tea running through my system. It’s too early in the paw to deal with Bikim’s speh. Before I can slip away unnoticed though, he spots me. I give a heavy sigh and continue my way inside. There's nothing to be done for it now. Trying to back out now would only make things worse later, a sign of weakness.
“What… Do you want… Predator?” Bikim asks between gulps of air as he reracks his weights, practically hanging off the bar to support himself on shaky legs.
“Good paw to you too, Bikim.” I say, forcing civility into my tone. “I’m here to use the equipment. Same as you. I'm allowed.”
“Whatever…” He eyes me with suspicion. “Just keep your distance… I don't want to catch any of your taint.”
“Believe me,” I flick my tail out in irritation, “I intend to.”
Looking around the room for available spots, I march my way over towards a cable machine on the opposite side of the room. Not nearly as far from Bikim as I would like, but the farthest I can get without leaving the weight area entirely. Bikim watches me all the while as I seat myself down and begin adjusting the machine. Eventually he grows tired of watching me fumble around with the machine and returns to his own exercises with a displeased flick of the tail, quite obviously judging me for my lack of experience with the equipment.
A tense sort of quiet settles over the room as we each go about our business, trying our best to ignore one another. Bikim slowly winds his way around the room, cycling from station to station to exercise all the different parts of his body in sequence before repeating it all again. He seems to bypass my corner of the room, glancing over at me with each repetition of his pattern. For myself, I stay put where I am, taking advantage of the varied exercises offered by the versatile machine to experiment with different muscle groups. Occasionally I slip up, dropping the weights with a loud clang that always draws Bikim’s ire. Every time he seems just a bit more disgruntled, a bit less patient. Eventually, the constant disruption reaches a tipping point and the pompous, self-entitled jerk walks over to confront me.
“Do you always do this?” He asks rhetorically. “If you keep slamming the weights like that you're gonna break it. Your form is speh so either fix it or lower the weight so you don't have to keep compensating. Better yet, just leave. You’ve been monopolising the cable machine for almost half a claw now. I don't know why you're even here in the first place.”
“Oh, look at Mr. Know-it-all thinking he can just go around telling us what to do, eh Killer?” The voice rises to the challenge. “Where does a guy like that who's been handed everything his whole life think he can get off with telling us how we should be doing anything?”
“Brahk off Bikim!” I don't even try to reign in the predator inside, feeling justified in letting it roam free for once. “I didn't ask for your advice and you don't get to kick me out of the weight room just because you can't wait your turn! I'm here because I don't have anywhere else to go! Ever since Intalran dragged me into this stupid Guild this brahking job has taken over my entire life! I don't even have a home to go back to anymore!”
Bikim's body tenses at my tirade and his tail flicks out aggressively like a whip.
“That's your own damn fault, predator!” He shouts back, eager for the excuse to vent his own frustrations. “Maybe if you weren't just some blood-starved beast out roaming the streets then you wouldn't be here right now! I’ve read your file! You got a history of herdless behaviour and physical altercations! Someone should have institutionalised you a long time ago, but someone took pity on you and let you slip through the cracks because of your poor dying mommy! They should have known it would come back to bite them! A normal, functional member of the herd wouldn't even think to pick a flamer up off the ground and burn another person to death with it! But you? You did it instinctively! You revelled in it!”
“You think that was easy for me!” I get up and walk towards him as I yell incredulously. “You think I asked for that to happen! You think it was fun for me to get choked out and almost eaten! That thing I burned wasn't even a person anymore! It was a predator in the middle of a feeding frenzy! So yeah, I did what I did, and you know what? It's a good thing I did! If I wasn't a freak of nature then that thing would have kept on going and kept on killing! Last I checked, preventing that sorta thing was supposed to be your job, but I had to be the one to step up! Now I have to live with the consequences of my actions every paw, knowing that I’m a Protector-damned killer that doesn't belong anywhere! Maybe you, in your infinite wisdom, would've known the perfect thing to do in that situation, but I’m not you! I’ve had to work and struggle for every little thing I have! Not just had it handed to me on a silver platter!”
“Oh, so you got me all figured out do you?” Sarcasm drips from Bikim's mouth as he looks down on me. “You don't know me. You don't know my life or what I’ve been through, how hard I’ve worked to get where I am. You just see the end product from cycles of effort and assume that it's always been that way, that it's always been that easy. It hasn't.”
“Yes, I’m sure you had it so hard growing up Bikim.” Saying it aloud almost makes me laugh. “You’re such a child of privilege that it drips off of you with every move you make and every word you say. I hate people like you, thinking that you're better than everyone else just because you were lucky enough to be born into wealth and status. Try living like the other side for a change, scrounging for every credit just so you can afford to eat, and then try to tell me how hard you had it with a full belly and a warm home!”
“You’re right, predator,” Bikim says contemptuously, “I am a child of privilege. My family has a long and decorated military tradition, my father is a captain for the space corps, a brahking hero, and I’ve reaped the benefits of that. That privilege came at a cost though, and that’s called expectations. Second best is not good enough and I've had to put in ten times the effort as anyone else my whole life just to meet standards! At least you grew up with a father who was there for you and loved you without the condition that everything you do is perfect!”
“All that talk about reading my file and you didn't even get past the first page did you?” I snap at him with a snarl. “ I didn't grow up with a father at all! He's been dead since I was in elementary school! Killed in action! I barely even remember him anymore!”
That one seems to give Bikim pause, but I’m not done yet.
“If you and your whole family are such a bunch of brahking heroes then how come you're here, working as a common garrison exterminator in a run-down backwater city like this?” I taunt. “Shouldn't you be out gallantly fighting the Arxur with one of the fleets or on a colony pacification force rather than making my life here harder than it already is?”
“That's the price for failing to meet expectations,” Bikim quiets down, drawing away from the world and into himself, “the price for knocking up a beautiful, wonderful girl right after graduation and refusing to get rid of it afterwards. You get cut off. You lose that privilege, and you do whatever you have to in order to provide and try to be a good role model for your son.”
Now that one threw me for a loop. In the short time I’ve known Bikim I’ve had a lot of thoughts about him, few of them good, but never would I have expected him to be the type to take responsibility… For anything. Still, there is one thing about his story that doesn't line up…
“Oh really?” I take a step back as I watch for his reaction closely. “I seem to recall Jonsco mentioned just the other day that your wife had left you for a Human.”
“Don't you bring that brahking primitive into this!” Bikim's anger flares in an instant before returning to a subtle simmer of regret. “We’ve just been having a… a rough patch in our relationship. I’m not giving up on us. I’ll win her back. She's just… confused and being taken advantage of! It's all that damn predators fault!” Bikim sighs and sits down on a nearby bench. “You're not the only one whose had something taken from them because of this job. You're not the only one without a home to go back to.”
Looking at Bikim now, a sad, pathetic man moping on the bench with nothing better to do on his rest claw than to try to externalise his inner pain… I find it hard to stay angry at him. He's still a narcissistic brahk ass and a complete jerk, but it's hard to truly hate someone when you actually know them. I had made quite a few assumptions about him when we first met, and he certainly hadn't helped my impression of him since, but… perhaps I was wrong to judge him so harshly?
“Nah,” the voice chortles, “he’s a piece of speh that got what he brahking deserves for being an insufferable prick.”
Overhead the intercom crackles to life and I can hear Jonsco's voice reverberating over the airwaves.
“Officers Vaesh and Sawvek please report to the briefing area for assignment. Repeat. Officers Vaesh and Sawvek please report to the briefing area for assignment.”
“Sounds like it's time for your first field assignment, Kid.” Bikim says, staring up at the intercom. “At least it gets you out of my wool. Try not to brahk it up and make the rest of us look bad.”
“Hmph.” I turn to leave, muttering to myself. “Stupid brahkass.”
—----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A/N - Hello! Sorry this one took a while. Like I mentioned before I got delayed working on my Ficnapping chapter as well as a crossover One-shot that's still in progress (but hopefully will be done soon). In other news we have new art of Sawvek's life-changing encounter in the Builder's Lane Bloodbath as drawn by Miglove and you can still find that and everything else Nature of Family in the new Master Post linked up above.
If you like the story then please remember to upvote, comment, and use the “!Subscribeme” function to be alerted to all new posts. I post as often as I can but real life has a tendency of getting in the way and my job makes it almost impossible to keep to any kind of schedule. Your engagement and support go a long way towards helping to keep me on track and motivated, so thank you very much for reading and I hope you'll stay tuned for next chapter!

The lotus leaf is listed as the greatest cleaning agent known to mankind in wikis and was the religious symbol of countless religions. when dirt is wet and becomes sticky mud it dries caked on and stuck and traps or allows for other air or splashes or spills to sort of stick. nanotech is so much smaller its like a big warehouse of crates having dust settle between them and by wiping and buffing and polishing around you remove some of the dirt hopefully most of it and get it underneath it will go right through and under about anything, got a tarpaulin or umm curtains over the window spray the curtains and unseen fine nanotech SHINES the window beautiful perfect coatings. the thin film is like nonstick frypan stuff but not the teflon stuff its safe diamonds arent teflon so the moisture and dirt wont stick as much and easily clean off or sorta slide down? nanotech like INKS and alcohol dyes (food coloring) or other paint pigment powders and !SOME! clearcoat polishes over a certain hardness rating which are safe for homes as under sapphire 9H or 10H it might be some sort of waste product cheap being sold as something like SCOTCH GUARD which may or may not have those long lasting microplastics which could be tiny serrated or jagged. If something is 9H or 10H diamond or sapphire hardness the few enamels or epoxys that bond that strong are small enough and dense that their structure is so tiny it slips through and under inside things and can reinforce them but doesnt damage round cells in organisms. the same way glass cleaner must be diluted and used everywhere as glass is porous and prehistoric volcanic obsidian glass walking spiders can walk up glass with special microhooks in their feet for the holes in glass look a bit like a golf ball dimples everywhere with tiny hole looks like hair lines through it like imagine those office ceiling panels with the holes in white particle board. So glass cleaner cleans out the gunk or else your windows will have a brownness you struggle to clean out of the glass without a deep penetrating cleaning agent that comes out looking a bit like brown river water thats discolored from the porous rocks in the water having umm tiny microorganisms yep rivers of brown. So a tiny drop of glass cleaner or a couple drops in a spray bottle or a bucket of water and maybe some one or two drops hydrophobic glass coating or quickpaint coat and a tiny drop or two or a single spray of PLASTIC AND LEATHER RESTORER
with these drops of stuff in water in a spray bottle or bucket you maybe wanna find something with a high % percentage of surfactants on the back of the detergent/soap bottle to wipe out germs and uhh its the cleaning component in all bubbling detergents the sort of science and cleaning and germ killing powers of it. Some floor cleaners made for timber floors that might be a little streaky and say like a polish or cure or something that maybe gives timber a little bit of a darker look when used regularly and appears subtly more expensive looking like hardwood but isnt carbonizing its a type of cellular structure bonding that reinforces not prehistoric torture the wood into looking blowtorched carbon stuff chemicals its a cleaning product disenfectant that protects and polishes but it needs some sprays of water then a spray or a few drops then buff it in and then dust mop it dry as its got some mild ANTISTATIC which helps lift up dust.. i found one that cleans like magic at my asian supermarkets but im not recommending specific brands over the other its the science of cleaning. then maybe put in a couple drops or up to a teaspoon of 10H hardness and like spray your laundry on the line or your carpet or whatever.. i do everything.. some products not 9H or greater will use some unsafe superglues which ignite cotton fabrics into flames or other things.. now house construction products like liquid nails brown glue for holding timber together might have a clear version called liquid glass that might be for window glazing or whatever i hadnt checked if its safe to use on fabrics and other surfaces the POINT of it is the NAME might say liquid glass but its maybe not silicon dioxide that the florist uses to keep their plants fresh for 2 weeks longer liquid glass as in THAT liquid glass like on your phones nanotech liquid screen protector you apply several coats of one each day then reapply every 8 months the cheap stuff.. some of the auto ones for cars can last 9 or 10 years. i found lots of bargain store looking products of sites like aliexpress or maybe amazon with brands like glassxkare or fantastic XML and adams polishes for tiny vials of 50ml or less of 10H hardness affordable or fantastic XML for like a big 500ML 9H hardness spray bottle that when sprayed into a spray bottle of water and glass cleaner and a drop of hydrophobic coating and plastic and leather restorer and a tiny drop of timber floor polish cleaner that may or may not make it a tiny bit streaky or splotchy the hydrophobic coatings may also be too hydrophobic you can tell if your spray bottle wont suck up water because the water cant enter the tube but if you spray a couple spray bottles of such tiny drops the nozzle will clog and not spray anymore.. nanocoatings can be tricky i dunno what to do. if its scratch protect films make it streaky and require buffing power tools and youre not loud big tools like me maybe aim it at carpets and couches rather than windows and do those without the floor polish. I've found no sort of uhh possible forseeable reasons for any health issues and my stuff looks and FEELS amazingly better, i think bathroom toilets or tiles or shower and tap fixtures or.. walls and floors and furniture and clothes.. i think id only not try spraying my drinking cups and cutlery but i honestly think i might need to drink the stuff its THAT GOOD. my cats LOVE IT! its kinda scary awesome.. i tried brands of plastic and leather restorer and quick paint coat and hydrophobic glass coating from HGKJ black and green labels. I couldnt tell you how safe it is, i just struggled as im a disability pensioner and saw our really old house falling apart and this damn near reversed a few decades off it and brand new snow clothing and jackets and throw rugs i bought felt BETTER THAN NEW i mean ridiculously better than new. ancient poisons used to clean HALF as good and were feared for being too good and too cheap. But diamonds and liquid diamond are naturally occuring hot springs reactions and the reason monkeys stay in there. its literally pretty much good for all life.
(plastic and leather restorer see leather deep conditioner but better and sorta similar to glass cleaner but a sort of UV protect oil and reinforce that adds the rich deep black color back to PU leathers and those vinyl anime girl figures yellowing from the sunlight and UV will becomes their original selves again or old yellowy car headlight covers get fixed up but so do most paints and timbers and other things. but you wanna seal it in with a nano coating when cleaning it out plastic and leather restorer is used in plastic manufacture and when you peel those clear plastic film stickers off shiny new products they help prevent its slow gradual evapouration and why they look so nice and black and arent just to prevent scratches. several days later plastic and leather restorers super shiny rich deep 'wet hair look for your black pleather chair' will seem to have worn off but its UV protect and other things will still be there and some polishes waxes or coatings can help keep it and its colors and UV protect there a bit longer well the look the restorer itself keeps it like how it was quite a while years? till it goes yellowy or faded again.)
So when we look at the water beading on lotus/lily pad leaves and things, ancient people used saps and old polishes and obsidian blades arrowheads since dinosaurs era. which with 200 times sharper than steel knives carbon nanotech its super dangerous deadly and was mostly all used up and we swapped it all out for modern glasses and glazing and safety glass so we dont slice our selves into piles of body parts on invisible pieces. Since the days of ink and whetstone nanotech advanced impossibly high particularly in volcanic hot springs countrys with samurai swords and caligraphy brush ink. Trying to find the scientifically safest and best possible cleaning products super affordably that might be useful for washing clothes, cars, metals plastics and other things.. are strangely not at the home hardware stores.. you see synthetic diamonds been on the gem market for centuries but too expensive to produce till modern different approaches with lasers and different gas precipitation with super high electricity concentrated over weeks or months or special electrolosys solutions will slowly layer and create diamonds but the diamond solution precipitated that grouped to each other or doesnt perfectly slot into the sort of tetris like bonds of the outer layers of the diamond a bit like diamond growth needs spaghetti O's and we're raining alphabet soup at it till with a bout 30% of the letters having a good chance of sticking. every few hours the solution of sublimation precipitate is swapped out creating a couple oven trays of 'liquid diamond solution' 10H hardness brightness and shines up glass with a thin film of diamond giving it moisture modest water resist we can use graphene to increase water resist and 10H+ hardness and apply hydrophobic coatings.. So who makes lots of these liquid finishes and what are they used for? Most are produced by a car race track owner who insists they protect their cars before taking them out onto the track or a speck of dirt or sand might scratch up the paint. But if i wanted to like power pressure washer spray it up onto my roof tiles and thin out some of that lichen and make them more uhh watertight leaks arent a concern but it might prevent a terrible future. anybody know why its not already a thing and there isnt countless guides on the ideal ratios and stuff? i mean its about as expensive as laundry detergent concentrate and used to be in most of those still is in some developed countries.. its what makes american movie sets look so umm bright and shiny and polished and awesome and makes mansions look like mansions or wealthy look and feel and its where LUXURY COMES FROM. is my cheap poor persons attempt at cleaning my own home not good? even if its mildly bad i think i'd use it forever. ESPECIALLY on things like 100% bamboo bed sheets i bought cheap ones from an australian online retailer and a few coatings of sprays and they felt and looked so dang shiny and awesome. Some bottles of the stuff claim 6 drops coats the car but remember many are diluted or not full strength or dont last long as advertised or a big bottle 500ML might be 3months to a year.. rather than tiny medicine bottle 50ml or 30ml sized 3-5 years most i guess, you need to keep applying a coat very often but having it not be streaky or buffing it in is tough so i maybe shaved years off its coating and thinned it out and just apply a bunch of coats as often product claims 9H its only a tiny % the whole spray bottle and needs many many applications to approach that but it is POSSIBLE theoretically. remember all glass cleaner is blue colored so when you dilute it with water you shouldnt have it fully color the water too much or its TOO STRONG. 80s people cleaned 80s glazing which maybe radium or lead tincture as radiation blocking films were often lead or radiation lined literally as a radiation shield was a.. film of radiation so it lasted years and needed double or triple glazing for expensive high rise buildings and cleaning heaps of smoky 80s glass dredged out horror mud floods of brown sludge that got them accused of dirtying things, though 80s squeegee thingys are really bad unless you reverse them and press down on a microfibre cloth with them for good even pressuer and a nice streak free clean using the back black rubber blade part to make a thin line of glass cleaning cloth good contact i previously saw reverse squeegee you mount cleaning cloths into specifically but searching i cant find to buy it when i tested it out at home with a squeegee that doesnt clip in like that. are there special tools you guys use? whats the secret? also the purple ceramic graphene ones seem awesome but maybe arent quite close to 9H either.. the bright shine of 10H or 10H+ on tiles and glass.. when apply hydrophobic it looks like zero application of anything somehow its gone for days. does anyone have a more ideal ratios specific or specific active ingredient amounts by weight or dilute with stuff that isnt water to help it keep its years of coating? does using a power washer make it not last? or last longer? or apply streaky splotchy? if its splotchy would more coats over weeks get it all consistent?
the liquid diamond stuff is in many countrys water or whatever.. but uhh concerns about silicosis maybe arent a thing at all if you cough it feels like its cleaning your lungs not harming them. Silicosis happens when criminal retards enter a sandblasting sealed room containment to steal the literally raw materials from factories or whatever or they use water cutting and sand blasting and CNC machines and sharpening blades constantly without sealed enclosure vacuum air scrubber filters. thats what wrecks those benchtop workers also they maybe mixing or breathing wrong epoxys and resins or dont seal them with the correct sealants and polishes and finishes.

From the novel Boy Swallows Universe, by Trent Dalton

When it’s so hot in summer on this endless street and the Brisbane City Council has laid new bitumen over potholes that explode in frustration, the tar sticks to the rubber of your Dunlops like Hubba Bubba bubble gum and everybody pulls open their curtains despite all the mosquitos blowing in from the Brighton and Shorncliffe mangroves and this whole street becomes a theatre and all those living rooms are window-framed to become televisions playing a live daytime soap opera called Thank God It’s Dole Day and a ribald comedy called Pass the Chicken Salt and a police procedural drama called The Colour of a Two-Cent Piece. Fists are thrown through these front window theatre screens and laughs are had and tears are shed.

From Letter Hunters, by Ana María Shua.

Watching TV How strange to be like this, on the sofa, watching my own face making clumsy faces on the screen. The show’s not bad but my acting leaves a lot to be desired. I don’t recognize my voice; and my gestures seem false, derivative, hardly spontaneous. And the strangest thing, perhaps, is that the show is live.

The first Docudrama.

This is just an opinion and random thoughts to what I think would help the game, or at-least make it interesting so these are just hot takes more than anything but I'll throw them out there anyways.
My take was these:
Both LS and FS (maybe others?) need a ranging scale on their spells like charge does on the GA with distance but a casting scale. I think it would suck if lifestaff and firestaff didn't hit hard or hit a fat 10k heal on someone cause what would be the point playing it without no high? That said I think these damage numbers are too easy to acquire, I think rather than Pillar of Fire hitting 155% weapon damage it could range from 125-175% that depends on how long you casted it within a 2 second frame. If you need to instant cast you are fine to do so but you sacrifice damage, but if you had the proper foresight and positioning I think it could reap the benefit of even more damage.
Same with healing, I think it's unhealthy to spam cast high heals but a good healer could have the proper foresight and understanding to pre-cast a good heal. I think it could apply to all spells tbh, even sacred which would be interesting that a healer could direct a clump fight in comms saying stuff like "max cast sacred on X, fight there". That said anointed should probably be removed from it to counter that with singles.
Not sure what other weapon could steal from this? Maybe IG, bow etc? Just thoughts. A good long casted ice storm could feel devasting but quick still exists for fluidity and flexibility, I just think the excitement and powerful feeling should be there just not instantly all the time.
IG entomb should pause stamina regeneration til you're out of it.
Oblivion could steal what arena does with ramped up disease - possibly surpass disease cap so it's like old oblivion? You put it down, it starts off at 10% disease, it ramps up to 75% maybe or something wild, to sort of "finalise" a fight in those sacred clumps but not be instantly turning off sacreds as it did before. I think it would be a good answer to a sacred but not an instant response.
Rapier (right tree) and BB should probably cost mana to use the spells, not a lot but I think it would help deal with FS/LS + rapier builds. FS + IG isn't as threatening with the mana cost being so high and the need for mana pots.
Spear nerfs are directly what I said should of been nerfed so that's great to see. Iframe is king in this game, shouldn't of been given that many hand outs to the point that it could take space better than a bruiser etc from being literally untouchable with iframes.
Stamina recovery should be +50 stamina not 110+, 1 iframe is enough not something that removes stamina fatigue and 2-3 iframes. Purify should be same CD as Stamina recovery.
Might need to reduce player hit boxes to help combat melee tracking with teleports, I think the "bubbles" around players are too big for some weapons to reach the physical model in time before pushed back such as the hatchet and void blade.
A change in how the game renders players would be nice, I think it's too revealing to people, especially those hit with dots which is everything now thanks to cases but already the case. Can easily pre-aim in OParena or send it through the bushes if you just aim below the health bar. I think dots shouldn't really show names, just the damage number floating but no bar.
Probably some other random stuff but just my hot takes that I think would be interesting.

Heyyyy,
Looking for a genuine connection that will actually last pls🙏 if you’re only interested in short term chats please don’t message, I’m only interested in long term connections, someone I can talk to daily about random stuff and have fun with!
(Won’t reply to ‘hi’ or ‘hey’ be creative people🤣) I feel ridiculous having to say this but if your page is full of NSFW thirst traps and all that please stay away cos I won’t answer and it just takes me ages to ignore the requests 😂 If you do decide to message me please let me know where you’re from and your age, name would be good too! 😊 (I probs won’t respond if you don’t).
If you’re from the UK, USA or Europe then feel free to message me😊 - I am looking for someone to build a connection and relationship with, if that person comes along. I’m not really interested in platonic friendships. If you’re from another country you must be willing to travel as I can’t due to my anxiety! I’m just saying this now so nobody is wasting anyone’s time 😊
About me: - Bubbly, chatty, sarcastic, decent (but stupid) sense of humour - i love football (English football😜 guess my team! ) - enjoy casual gaming, animal crossing, Disney dreamlight valley, stardew valley. - love Disney movies - obsessed with true crime and anything horror related - love arts and crafts: diamond painting, scrapbooking, drawing, digital drawing… - have severe anxiety/agoraphobia. - pansexual
(Not interested in NSFW chats or couples, thanks.)
So yeah that’s me! If I sound interesting enough come send me a line, I am looking for someone to build a connection with not just a random conversation and then never speak again. Also I do tend to get on better with people that are also quite chatty and not too serious. Ages 21+ please. Me: https://imgur.com/a/aO0V8cu

You know when you’re drinking with your sister or your best friend, and you start having all of these “great” ideas that are actually terrible? And the sentences always start with “wouldn’t it be great if…”? That’s pretty much what happened here, and the authors kept a running tally of “great ideas” and threw them altogether into one 1000+ page monstrosity of unnecessary word vomit.

Because this book lacked so much context, here are some thoughts without context.

1. I didn’t know we could coat our skin in metal to protect ourselves from being injured - would have been helpful in book 7, perhaps?
2. I also didn’t know that we could use water magic to control the bodies of our enemies through their blood. Seems convenient.
3. Maybe we should use a silencing bubble if we want to do belt play (which we’ve never done before in these books) in a semi-public space while we are supposed to be on a mission? It’s giving - Feyre and Rhys in the war camp.
4. Wow I’m learning so much about orders, but apparently a legitimate order is a drum roll crab? Like a crab? Seems stupid and doesn’t make sense with what we learned before.
5. On that note? Other academies? I’d just read an entire book on that.
6. Ladies, I didn’t need to know how long a character’s long Sherman was. And I don’t think you actually know what 10” is. Maybe because you’re British, but do some research.
7. Did every character besides Seth get a lobotomy? Because everyone’s personalities were wrong.
8. Back to the magic-apparently we can use magic to fix whole books? And reverse age them? Wow everyone must have done an accelerated course since last book.
9. Anatomically correct long Sherman out of ice that we can just create in the heat of the moment without thinking? (Wildly unnecessary) Wow I want to take that accelerate course.
10. The middle 700 pages were slow.
11. There were characters named Frank and Alice (Longbottom) that died together during the war. Get outta here.
12. Possessed chia pets come to save the day.
13. Darius, Xavier, or Tharix were not the ones to kill Lionel. Criminal. It was also too easy.
14. Apparently the stars do NOT interfere with their lives. They just observe due to a conflict in the past. Weird because I thought they did and we didn’t want to upset them.
15. I did not need to read about Xavier’s troubles with finishing. My eyes were bleeding.
16. “Horny for the horn” hasn’t been funny since book 3. Why was it added in the epilogue?
17. We learn nothing about how Solaria is running at the end. At all. No resolution with the celestial council, no scenes on figuring out how to restore the country, nothing about the lesser orders. The last 70 pages were RUSHED.
18. And finally - I will be adding “more than 4 children” to my list of hate crimes an author can commit against women in an epilogue.

Bonus - why did we need almost 200 pages of slow ass battle scenes? Just for Lionel to be removed so easily?

Read this whole post before submitting! Posting your ideas here DOES NOT count as a submission.

Time flies, it's already time for rate selection again! Please be advised of the following:

1. The winner of the Payola poll a few weeks ago is Commercial Male Hip Hop! If any of your ideas fall under the umbrella of Main Rap Boys, then make sure to mention it on the submission form so your idea can be voted on.
2. We also have another meta rate approaching, so in total there will be six rates selected through the normal process.

How to Construct a Rate Idea

• Generally, your idea should consist of 40-60 songs that are bound together by common concepts. These can be shared audience (e.g. depressed British), sound (e.g. psychedelic rock), a specific time period (e.g. 1970s), general popularity (e.g. bubbling under mainstays), or anything else you can think of. The more overlap that your rate has between its songs in these aspects, the stronger the idea is. You can be as creative as you'd like with your combinations, but you need to be able to make the case as to why the songs belong together in a rate.
• The easiest way to find commonalities among songs is by putting 3 or 4 albums together in an idea. However, you can also construct rates with loose songs if you have a strong concept tying them together (this is called a "grab bag" rate.)
• You can also include a "bonus rate" in your idea which are generally leftover tracks that are related to the overarching concept but do not fit in the main rate for whatever reason (e.g. loose singles in between album eras.) Bonus rates are optional to complete at the time of rating and should not be included in an idea without strong justification for it.
• Be mindful of the length of your idea; do not include more songs for the sake of it. The average rate should be less than 3 hours long with the bonus rate included, and rates over 4 hours long are very unlikely to be picked unless they consist of very popular songs. To check how long your rate is, I recommend putting all of the songs in a playlist on your streaming service of choice.
• Albums released in 2024 (including unreleased albums) or MOST albums that have already been rated are ineligible for inclusion in your ideas. The albums from previous rates that ARE eligible are those from the first three years of rates (i.e. covered by the first three All Stars rates) that did NOT ever spawn a rate winning song. For clarity, HERE is a pastebin of all of the albums eligible for a rerate. HOWEVER, you cannot submit an idea with JUST rerated albums.
• Rate ideas can include songs that have been previously rated but should not focus on them, so as to not feel like an All Stars rate.

How to Submit Your Rate Idea

• All submissions will be handled through this Google form. Please do not direct message me your ideas.
• You are required to fill out the four following fields in order for your submission to be counted:
• Title: The name of your rate. It should summarize the overarching concept, but feel free to come up with something catchy and fun as well.
• Albums/songs included: A list of the albums or songs included in the rate. You can simply list the albums if applicable (e.g. Artist - Title vs. Artist - Title vs. Artist - Title), but if you are submitting a grab bag rate you must include a Pastebin/Pastee/etc link to the songs included.
• Description: Describe what ties the albums/songs together if you weren't able to fit it into the title, and list relevant information like number of songs and length of rate (e.g. 1 hour 56 minutes.) Keep this as brief as possible: if you go over ~100 words I will shorten it myself to the most relevant information.
• Host needed? If you would like to host the rate by yourself, select "No." If you are uninterested in hosting altogether, select "Yes." If you want a cohost, select "Cohost wanted." If you want a specific other person to host your rate, they should submit the idea themselves.
• You are limited to two ideas submitted per cycle. However, please do not submit low effort ideas just for the sake of filling up both of your spots.
• If you submit an identical idea as somebody else, I will arbitrarily decide which description is better and include that one in the voting, but I will encourage you to cohost the rate together if it is selected. If there is ANY difference between two ideas, they will be put up for voting separately.

How We Pick the Rates

• In the next stage, you'll see that we are measuring two metrics of popularity: "approval" and "favorites." Approval will be based on a simple thumbs up/thumbs down/neutral vote for each rate. Favorites will be based on polling each person's five favorite ideas per cycle.
• Generally, the six most popular rate ideas across both metrics will be picked. However, we will also consider how the selected rates play off of each other, in an effort to ensure a maximum level of diversity in genre and audience.
• Rate ideas from active rate participants who are enthusiastic about hosting are more likely to be picked. Likewise, rate ideas from negative presences in the community are less likely to be picked.

Please use the comment section below for the following purposes:

• Posting your ideas for feedback and/or promotion
• Asking for advice on what artists/albums/songs to include in your earthshattering rate idea
• Discussing what sorts of rates you'd like to see picked in general
• Finding someone who would like to cohost your rate with you

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First Prev Next
Time seemed to pass much quicker when Ghrruk and I were swimming together, finding small insects or algae to eat, and sleeping in the same place by nightfall. It was strange at first, but I felt safer. As if teamwork made us stronger.
Our front legs started to grow a few weeks after the attack. I was surprised to see Ghrruk’s lost leg regrowing too. It was still a stump, but a little longer.
“Do you think it’ll regrow entirely?” I asked her.
“I hope so. I’m the only one with a missing leg.”
“There are a few others whose legs have been damaged by the predators, though.”
Ghrruk’s tail drooped a little. “I’d rather have a damaged leg than a stump. At least they have a chance that it’d heal…”
“Maybe yours will heal as well. I’ve been looking at it lately and I’m certain it’s growing back.”
“Or maybe our bodies are simply becoming larger. And so does the stump.”
She was quite negative when it came to her leg, even though she saw our future, and Thomas, in a very positive light. Speaking of which, Thomas did install a defense of sorts above our home to protect us from predators. It worked because we hadn’t been bothered since.
THUMP – THUMP – THUMP
Speaking of the human…
“Thomas!”
Ghrruk immediately swam up. She wasn’t as graceful as before her tail started to shrink. The main reason, though, was that she was kicking water with one leg, which made her veer slightly to the left. It was almost unnoticeable. Any other tadpole would think it was the usual way she swam.
She really likes him, I thought, following her from a distance. My trust issues weren’t completely gone. My trip inside the jar had left quite its mark.
Small red worms swirled down and all the other tadpoles frantically ascended to fill their bellies. I did as always, staying a little below the rest, catching whatever came through.
Funny how they trusted Thomas, yet slurped, expelled, and then slurped again on the worm, likely examining the worm to make sure it’s actual food.
“Oh. Oh! Look at you!” Thomas exclaimed. “Some of you have front legs! You’re becoming actual frogs. Amazing!”
Thomas’ face descended so close to the water his nose almost dipped in it. Most tadpoles scattered away in fright, before curiosity – and food! – got the better of them and compelled them return to peek at their savior. I was certain he was looking for me so.
“Ah! Ghost! There you are! Wait a minute.”
The moment he uttered my name I dived down.
Thomas stood up and left. Ghrruk came swimming back to me in swift leg bursts.
“Why do you think he left? He usually stays longer, telling us stories,” she said.
“I don’t know but I don’t have a good feeling about this. I think I’m going to hide behind a rock or something.”
As expected, when Thomas returned, he held a stick of sorts and was looking for something – me! But I had a few good hiding places. It had taken a lot of effort to dig up dirt and arrange things on the bottom.
He tried to catch me with that stick again and again, stirring the bottom of the pond in order to find me. Unlike previous attempt, he didn’t linger for too long, where he’d be waiting for me to take a few gulps of breath. Whatever he tried to achieve, it didn’t seem that important to him. Or maybe he grew tired a lot quicker than the first time he saw me and my peculiarity.
Days turned into weeks, and slowly but surely, we had all grown our forelegs. Our tails were also shrinking, forcing us to adapt a new swimming technique. And best of all, I could distinguish tiny knobs poking out of Ghrruk’s lump, sign that her toes were growing back.
“See,” I said, undulating the end of my tail rapidly, “your leg is growing back!”
“I’m not so sure...”
“It’s really there. I know you can’t see it, but I can. Why won’t you believe me?”
“Because it feels completely different than how it was before. When I walked out of the pond, I could feel every toe on my right leg. My left was just… weird.”
A few bubbles left my mouth.
“Wait, when you what?”
“Walked out of the pond.”
“When did you… how did you walk out of the pond?”
I was so surprised, even though I had seen other tadpoles, or rather, froglets, climb up and out. But that wasn’t reason enough to follow them. I never even thought about it, what with all those predators out there. And let’s not forget Thomas.
“A few days ago,” she said, her body wobbling excitedly. “You were busy digging the sediment to improve our hiding spots, as usual, and when I noticed a fellow froglet clambering out, I wanted to take the leap myself.”
A stream of bubbles left my mouth.
“You went out of our home? To do what? Get killed? Wasn’t losing one leg enough?”
Ghrruk’s kicked her hind legs, floating right in front of me.
“That leg wasn’t my fault,” she declared, her tiny front legs making an abrupt, agitated movement. “I did what everyone else did. You are the weird one, always wishing to hide deep inside our pond, spending countless hours digging in the depths. Don’t you feel the urge to leave? To explore? To have a glimpse what is beyond the water?”
“Maybe later. Now, I want to avoid Thomas. And the predators.”
She slowly drifted backwards, creating some distance between us both.
“Then, we will have to go our separate ways. Thomas is our savior and the outside is safe. Hasn’t he told us that this place is like our pond? Encompassed in such way that we can’t leave but also that others can’t come in? Why won’t you trust him?”
“I guess it’s in my nature not to trust humans.”
Ghrruk blew a few bubbles out. Her mouth gaped open and close, as if she was gasping for air. I knew I had infuriated her.
“Well, I trust him. I have also needs. My body desires to leave this place and find… whatever I need to find.” She twirled in place. “Ghost. See you around.”
Ghrruk sprung her hind legs hard against the water, darting away for the surface. I trailed her until she climbed out of the pond.
Why does she have to do this now?
I carefully popped my head above the water, observing Ghrruk clambering out. Without even glancing behind her, she clumsily snuck between the blades of grass and she was gone.
“Ghrruk? Ghrruk!” I called.
No answer came. Other froglets were following her lead. I decided to dive down to the comfort of my hiding place near the plants, which had grown considerably since the attack. There, I pondered about Ghrruk, about Thomas, about the meaning of my life, and what I ought to do, leaving only for food or air.
During that period, Thomas came and went, unlike Ghrruk, who I didn’t see again. She was gone.
Sometimes, when I ascended, I broke the water to check whether Ghrruk was somewhere around the edge of the pond. All I could see were other froglets, sitting immobile in the shadow, waiting patiently for no apparent reason.
Each day, more froglets left the pond. Of course, they ended up returning. But the murky waters had never felt so lonely. Loneliness. A sense that had never occurred to me. Not before Ghrruk. Thinking about her made me anxious, constantly wondering where she went, and how often she returned to the pond. I was certain she did return, except she never came back to my place, so there was always that possibility... I could only hope she didn’t get eaten.
Then, one day, when my tail had shrunk a bit more and most of my brethren’s color changed from black with tiny specks of brown to a lighter color with larger specks, sometimes even a hue of green, my entire body tingled. A curious sensation, an impulse akin to Ghrruk’s.
This call of nature drove me to the sand bank that Thomas had built on the edge of the pond to let the froglets leave easier. Initially, I thought it was a trick to catch me. But then I realized that it was a lot of effort just for me, and thought he was simply trying to help us, as he has always done.
Ghrruk was right, a voice whispered inside.
My tiny head and eyes popped above the water. No sign of Thomas. I kicked my legs, a new form of swimming that was much faster than the tail undulation, until I set foot on the sand bank. I was about to leave our home. My tiny heart was racing.
Grains of sand stuck to my body. It was a small hindrance, but nothing that would impede my will to find out what was beyond. With a few awkward steps, advancing leg by leg, I arrived at the edge of the grass.
Maybe I will meet Ghrruk today? Mayb – aaah!
“Gotcha, Ghost!”
Thomas!? Why didn’t I hear him come?
My entire body was stuck between his two fingers, so small I was.
“Exactly as I thought! Your eyes. They’re red! They don’t look evil or anything. They’re just… red. That’s so weird.”
If I could’ve screamed, I would have. I attempted to squeeze myself out, but the force of his fingers was far beyond my ability to do anything. My legs were the only thing squirming in place.
“You know what? I think you deserve a new name. A better one.”
Another name? It can’t be much worse than “Ghost”.
“To be honest, I never really liked your name. I know, I’m the one who gave it to you, but it felt a little hollow. Too… translucent, if you know what I mean.”
Thomas chuckled, which scared me even more.
“Hmmm… ‘Red’ is too plain so let’s call you Carmine.”
That’s worse!
“Yes, Carmine sounds good. Do you know what it means?”
I don’t care, I just want to return to the tranquility of my pond and never leave it ever again!
“Carmine’s a Latin name that means ‘Song’. At least, that’s what my teacher told me. It’s also the name of a red color. Slightly deeper than crimson red, though I’m not gonna name you Crimson, right? Besides, Carmine is fitting for you.”
His hand suddenly moved towards his mouth. I was panicking, certain he’d gulp me down and that’d be the end of me. I was completely helpless, unable to get out of his strong grasp, rapidly advancing towards the two red bulges, widening into a circle until –
Smack.
My snout grazed his moist mouth and he inexplicably moved his hand back to where it was, with me still stuck between two fingers in the middle of the void.
“You’re adorable, Carmine. I hope you’ll sing a lot of beautiful songs once you get your frog voice.”
Another shadow loomed over me. Another human.
Thomas’ father? Oh no…
If being scared of what Thomas just did wasn’t enough, the human who detests me had arrived. From our very first encounter, I always felt uncomfortable whenever he was near. Likely because his first advice upon seeing me was to flush me down the drain – whatever that may be.
“Again with that disgusting thing. Throw it away, will you?” he growled.
“Why do you hate this frog so much? It’s such a cute thing. Look at it!”
“Yeah. It looks like piece of mold.”
“What? Because it’s white?”
“If I found that in the kitchen I wouldn’t touch it with my bare hands. Why won’t you just discard it? You’ve got hundreds of healthy frogs. Why are you so obsessed with this one in particular?”
“Maybe because Carmine’s a peculiar frog.”
“Carmine?” His whole body leaned back as he frowned. “Didn’t you name it Spooky or something like that?”
Thomas sighed and his eyes rolled. “No, dad, he was called Ghost, but now that his eye color is more pronounced, I think that Carmine’s a better name.”
“So you won’t –”
“No. Stop asking. He’s my favorite frog of all.”
The father’s head approached. His eyes filled the entire space in front of me.
“That’s why you’re squeezing him to death? Look at how frantically he tries to escape!”
“Oh, sorry, Carmine. I’ve been holding you for so long, it must hurt. Here!”
Thomas crouched and returned me back exactly where I was. Instead of continuing to the grass, I tumbled over. With one swift kick of my legs, I repositioned myself correctly and clambered through that sticky sand, which was now irritating my body – likely due to the lack of moisture – until I reached the water. I surged down to my hiding place and stayed there until Thomas was gone.
Around nighttime, part of me wished to try again, yet I didn’t. I was too scared to be picked up once more.
There’s no way I’m going back there.
But deep inside, I knew that I’d have to leave the pond. I knew I’d have to do the same as the others; explore the great outside and explore the rest of the world. For now, all I wished was to have Ghrruk in my vicinity so we could communicate, eat, and sleep together. If only I could have peace of mind in anticipation of what was to come next.
Good night Ghrruk. I miss you.
First Prev Next

Heyyyy,
Looking for a genuine connection that will actually last pls🙏 if you’re only interested in short term chats please don’t message, I’m only interested in long term connections, someone I can talk to daily about random stuff and have fun with!
(Won’t reply to ‘hi’ or ‘hey’ be creative people🤣) I feel ridiculous having to say this but if your page is full of NSFW thirst traps and all that please stay away cos I won’t answer and it just takes me ages to ignore the requests 😂 If you do decide to message me please let me know where you’re from and your age, name would be good too! 😊 (I probs won’t respond if you don’t).
If you’re from the UK, USA or Europe then feel free to message me😊 - I am looking for someone to build a connection and relationship with, if that person comes along. I’m not really interested in platonic friendships. If you’re from another country you must be willing to travel as I can’t due to my anxiety! I’m just saying this now so nobody is wasting anyone’s time 😊
About me: - Bubbly, chatty, sarcastic, decent (but stupid) sense of humour - i love football (English football😜 guess my team! ) - enjoy casual gaming, animal crossing, Disney dreamlight valley, stardew valley. - love Disney movies - obsessed with true crime and anything horror related - love arts and crafts: diamond painting, scrapbooking, drawing, digital drawing… - have severe anxiety/agoraphobia. - pansexual
(Not interested in NSFW chats or couples, thanks.)
So yeah that’s me! If I sound interesting enough come send me a line, I am looking for someone to build a connection with not just a random conversation and then never speak again. Also I do tend to get on better with people that are also quite chatty and not too serious. Ages 21+ please. Me: https://imgur.com/a/aO0V8cu

Heyyyy,
Looking for a genuine connection that will actually last pls🙏 if you’re only interested in short term chats please don’t message, I’m only interested in long term connections, someone I can talk to daily about random stuff and have fun with!
(Won’t reply to ‘hi’ or ‘hey’ be creative people🤣) I feel ridiculous having to say this but if your page is full of NSFW thirst traps and all that please stay away cos I won’t answer and it just takes me ages to ignore the requests 😂 If you do decide to message me please let me know where you’re from and your age, name would be good too! 😊 (I probs won’t respond if you don’t).
If you’re from the UK, USA or Europe then feel free to message me😊 - I am looking for someone to build a connection and relationship with, if that person comes along. I’m not really interested in platonic friendships. If you’re from another country you must be willing to travel as I can’t due to my anxiety! I’m just saying this now so nobody is wasting anyone’s time 😊
About me: - Bubbly, chatty, sarcastic, decent (but stupid) sense of humour - i love football (English football😜 guess my team! ) - enjoy casual gaming, animal crossing, Disney dreamlight valley, stardew valley. - love Disney movies - obsessed with true crime and anything horror related - love arts and crafts: diamond painting, scrapbooking, drawing, digital drawing… - have severe anxiety/agoraphobia. - pansexual
(Not interested in NSFW chats or couples, thanks.)
So yeah that’s me! If I sound interesting enough come send me a line, I am looking for someone to build a connection with not just a random conversation and then never speak again. Also I do tend to get on better with people that are also quite chatty and not too serious. Ages 21+ please. Me: https://imgur.com/a/aO0V8cu

Context: After Horus suddenly ordered the shields of the Vengeful Spirit down his equerry Argonis, scrambled to get the Legion back on the ship to defend Horus. Most of the Sons of Horus however were too lost to obey him, and only Abaddon and a small group of officers and elite warriors respond. When Abaddon reaches the ship however he's assaulted by the mind-warping properties of the Vengeful Spirit as it becomes The Inevitable City. While searching for Horus Abaddon finds Argonis in the ship's bridge.
I enjoy how Horus and the threat of Chaos is portrayed in TEATD, and I really feel like this description of Horus as he goes to fight Sanguinius is very evocative

It’s a man. It’s an Astartes. He’s hunched behind one of the pillars, curled up like an animal trying to hide.
Abaddon thinks the man’s dead at first, but he’s not. He’s cowering. Frozen.
Abaddon crouches down. ‘Hell’s teeth,’ he whispers. ‘Argonis?’
Kinor Argonis trembles at the sound of his name. His plate, even his flesh, is covered in slimy, atramental mould, like the surface of the bridge stations. There’s a massive wound across the side of his face, as though he has taken a glancing blow from a maul. The wound is still bleeding.
‘Kinor? Kinor, it’s Ezekyle. Kinor, wake up.’
Argonis, equerry to the Warmaster, slowly turns his head to look at Abaddon. There is no real recognition in his eyes, but there is fear. Abaddon has never seen true fear expressed in the eyes of an Astartes battle-brother.
‘Kinor, what happened?’
Argonis’ lips bubble, incoherent. He’s panting, whimpering quietly.
‘Argonis,’ Abaddon says. He places his hands on the equerry’s shoulders and tries to straighten him up to make eye contact. ‘Argonis? It’s me. It’s the First Captain. Speak. Where is Lupercal?’
‘Lupercal!’ Argonis snorts, like it’s a curse, or a bark of pain.
‘Yes, Kinor. Lupercal. Where is he? I need to find him. Where is he?’
‘Heeeeeeee…’ Argonis shudders, holding onto each vowel-sound as though it’s the only way he can keep his voice alive. ‘Heeee waas… heeeeee…’
‘Kinor!’
‘H-h-heee was here…’ Argonis gasps, sucking in a breath between each syllable. He convulses, and bile spills out of his mouth and down the front of his plate. ‘He was! He was! He was! He–’
‘Calm, brother. Get a grip on yourself. Where did he go?’
‘He was,’ gurgles Argonis, ‘terrible.’

...

Abaddon pulls back from Argonis. Something… Impossibly, something has overridden the equerry’s Astartesian fear-control conditioning. ‘Kinor?’
‘He is… He became something… He became… I didn’t want to see. He made me see. He made me look. I didn’t want to. Ezekyle, I didn’t. I didn’t want to look.’
He starts to weep. It would be pathetic if it wasn’t so chilling.
‘Rest,’ says Abaddon. ‘Take a rest for a moment. Clear your head. Close your eyes.’
Argonis shakes his head wildly. ‘No!’ he gasps. ‘If I close my eyes… I’ll see him!’

I am not the OOP. The OOPs are u/aitata8482828**(Husband) and** u/No_Card9780**(Wife)**
posting in AmItheAsshole and AITAH
Concluded as per OOP
3 updates - Long
Thanks to u/yellowjuicer for pointing out I missed the husbands update (now added in)
Original - 10th July 2023
Husband Update - 19th October 2023
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Wife Post - 11th May 2024
Wife Update - 14th May 2024
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AITA being pissed at what my wife said to our niece
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My sister and bil were abusive parents to my niece, Charlotte. I always tried to protect her, but my wife and I were only able to get custody threw years ago. We adopted her, and she's a good kid at heart, but she still struggles a lot. She's still in therapy and has come so far, but finds it difficult to accept unconditional love and that kids don't have to be perfect. While she's usually fine with my wife and I, she still sometimes tends to see our daughter (Chloe) as ungrateful and spoilt. I've worked really hard on this, and it's a LOT better, but sometimes it comes up in their teenage squabbles. It's not perfect but the girls generally get along.
Last Friday they had an issue. I was at work, so this is based on what I was told after. Chloe was refusing to do any of her chores, and arguing about it with my wife. Charlotte jumped in and basically called Chloe lazy and said that she should be a better daughter like her. Apparently my wife got pissed off and told her off. She 'reminded' her that she was 'lucky' we were taking care of her and to stay out of it. From there it got bad.
My wife says that Charlotte was extremely rude about Chloe. But she also admits she told Charlotte that we 'didnt have to' take care of her, and that basically unlike Chloe, we can send her back to her parents if she keeps it up. Ignoring the fact we legally cannot, that's just completely fucked up. They ended their fight with Charlotte just going to my parents for that night, and she's been really upset and withdrawn since.
When I got home my wife filled me in, and I was honestly pretty furious. The first thing that came to mind was 'what the fuck is wrong with you?'. Which admittedly wasn't a productive response but I was honestly just floored. The issue is that Charlotte doesn't get that a kid deserves unconditional love even if they're not perfect, so you fucking tell her that you'll kick her out if she doesn't behave? All the progress I worked with her for is gonna be shut back again.
I was mad and we fought about it. I get she can be difficult, but that was inappropriate. However she's still refused to apologise or anything. I've tried to talk to her and explain that we love her, and that it wasn't meant the way it was said. But my wife is just accusing me of babying and favouring Charlotte. Apparently I'm being unreasonable thinking what she did was disgusting. That I should care more about Chloe, as if this is a competition.
I am still honestly pretty pissed at her. While she just claims I'm unreasonable and being a shit dad to Chloe.
​
Comments
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Ok-Arachnid-890
NTA your wife said a fucked up thing and really messed up with Charlotte. Your wife needs to apologize and looks like you're gonna have to have individual long talks with everyone

Husband OOP: That's exactly what I think. I honestly don't know how she could say it, let alone keep defending it. I've been trying to talk to the girls about it, but Charlotte is still icing me out other than apologising repeatedly.

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[deleted]
I hate to have to tell you this, but I think your wife could say a thing like that because that's how she actually feels about Charlotte, a charity case who should be grateful for scraps. That reaction wasn't a woman mediating a fight between her two daughters, this was her defending her child against this hostile kid she took in. If she spoke in the heat of the moment, she would have been horrified afterwards, not doubling down. It's possible she never wanted Charlotte.
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poeadam
NTA
You are correct here. It doesn't sound like you are favoring Charlotte at all. You aren't condoning or excusing her behavior. You issue is with how your wife dealt with the behavior, which I agree was completely inappropriate.
Your wife (and you) ADOPTED the child. She is your child. She can't be given back. And threatening to return her to an abusive situation is basically abuse in and of itself. Your wife should never suggest such a thing and should be ashamed that those words came out of her mouth.

Husband OOP: I agree, thank you. There's no world where I would ever give her back. I love her way too much to ever do that. I honestly don't know why she doesn't see it like you said

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Accomplished_Two1611
Your wife is only going through the motions with Charlotte. I am sure she and Chloe have made sure that Charlotte knows her 'place'.

Husband OOP:As far as I know this is the first time it's come up like this. Charlotte definitely would have reacted obviously in the past.
Chloe and her do get along mostly. I definitely don't think Chloe is a problem, beyond being a typical teenager

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l3ex_G
Other comments from op apparently shows that he threatened to divorce her if she didn’t adopt charlotte with him.
B3Gay_DoCr1mes
Oh, and there it is. OP's wife is a bubbling cauldron of resentments and it finally came out in the open. So, all theories that she does in fact view this as her daughter versus the charity case they took in are 100% accurate. They took Charlotte out of a blatantly toxic environment and brought her into one with simmering toxicity beneath the surface. With that kind of ultimatum underlying Charlotte's adoption a moment like this was inevitable.
l3ex_G
It feels like OP wants to be the saviour but not do the work. The fact he brought this child into a situation that started with an ultimatum is upsetting. Charlotte doesn’t stand a chance if these are the adults in the situation.
​
Update - 3 months later
​
First I want to thank everyone for their responses. It was helpful, even some I disagreed with. While things aren't perfect, they're both good kids and my wife is making amends for what she did.
Since then my wife and I have been in therapy. She's apologised and tried fix it with Charlotte, but she lost a lot of trust with what she said. Even now it's not back to what it was. The therapy is helping, and she realised just how wrong it was.
Charlotte has mostly gone back to normal around me, though a bit clingier. I've made it clear I'll always love and be there for her. And I've been making it clear it's unconditional, and she doesn't have to be perfect or 'deserve' it. She's obviously still in therapy and getting help. The girls have had some stupid fights since, but nothing like last time. Charlotte initially distanced herself, but Chloe got her back to normal quicker than my wife and I. She was really there for Charlotte. When she wants to be, she can be really thoughtful. Chloe is doing fine. I made sure to talk to her and she doesn't have an issue with Charlotte. As usual she basically said Charlotte can be annoying but she loves her, a normal sister.
It's not perfect, but improving. I think my wife's actions were a mistake, but they were from the situation rather than about Charlotte herself. All the little issues built up and she exploded. She didn't realise how much it grew to bother her. She's made it clear she knows Charlotte is our daughter now and that it was a horrible mistake. We are working to fix it. If she really can't handle it I will have to leave for Charlotte's sake, but I think our progress is promising so far.
Now I want to clarify some things:
Charlotte did have issues with women. However this wasn't her being rude per se. The issue was that she was terrified. She would basically be silent and overly obedient, but clearly scared and unwilling to open up. With me she let her guard down quicker to let me love and help her. For my wife it took months for more than one word answers and almost two year to stop the fear. Back talking and interjections were a problem, but because she was comfortable with my wife, not the opposite.
I was heavily involved in raising the girls. I didn't leave it to my wife. I just happened to be working late that day, other days it's my wife working and me with the girls. Further, there are consequences for misbehaving. We just had a bigger issue that night.
Overall, thank you for the advice. I hope things keep getting better, even if it's slow.
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Comments
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haillordvecna
Very happy to see this update! I'm glad your wife was able to come around and see what she said was incredibly hurtful and wrong. Both your daughters sound like good kids, and you guys will all come out as a strong family unit once the hardships wash over. Rare to see positive updates, so thank you for sharing! Best wishes to your family to continue to grow together!

Husband OOP: Thank you! And I hope it keeps getting better. Seeing Charlotte so hurt and isolated again was horrible. But both girls are great in their own ways. I definitely hope we all come out better.

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[deleted]
Dude. Put in your post that you gave your wife no option. If she refused you were going to divorce her. Own your part and take responsibility for putting your wife in a shitty situation. YTA. Also you hid important information. Why? What's the point of posting then? EDIT: I hope you enjoy your "not the a hole" badge.
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**Judgement - NTA with a few dissenters*\*
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Editor's Note - In the wife's post Charlotte becomes Kelly and Chloe becomes Sarah. There is now also a son. There is some age differences as well.
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AITAH for waking out on my “adoptive daughter” and telling her everything is her fault - 7 months later
​
So I (36f) have two kids a boy Tom (5) and a Sarah daughter (18) plus my husbands late brothers kid (16f) Kelly who lives with us
14 months ago my husband came home with Kelly and said she would be staying with us for a while, I barely knew kelly because since her father passed away 10 years ago her mom has been struggling with mental health and addiction. Apparently Kelly was in a bad situation at home due to her mother’s new boyfriend being a let’s say not so nice person.
He told me it was only for 3 months while his parents who recently moved aboard got settled than it went to 5 till his sister had her baby just excuse after excuse till I stopped asking. as time went on my husband just acted like she was our daughter even bringing up adoption a few times which I refused even when he threatened divorce. I know I sound like a monster but you have to realise Kelly isn’t easy to deal with and my husband doesn’t allow her to face any kind of consequences
Kelly acts like she is the golden child and my daughter is the black sheep, she has violent meltdowns, she’s threatened our son that my husband will leave us if she tells him because he loves her more which traumatised Tom. she has tried and failed her mind games with me pretending to be a saint, her main target is my daughter she is extremely cruel towards her verbally like she’ll slut shame her for everything little thing like wearing make up or tell her she’s lazy/good for nothing for stupid reasons like sleeping late at the weekends
She’ll take her things ether will loss them or destroy them than cry to my husband who will excuse her behaviour even tho he spends 70% of his time at work. We are all in therapy which isn’t working like group sessions when someone points out Kelly’s behaviour or adoption usually end up with everyone fighting
It all came to a head last month Kelly was in a mood all week because Sarah had a big 18th party with all the attention on Sarah especially from my family which Kelly said mentioned in therapy. myself and Sarah were having a stupid “fight” over a non issue because Sarah used all my shampoo which she didn’t replace or let me know I was out of. Kelly came out of nowhere screaming at Sarah calling her a moocher, lazy, trash and spoiled she than said Sarah was an adult now and she didn’t pull her weight she’d get kicked out
I lost it I told her Sarah was my daughter and If she didn’t change her attitude she’d be the one kicked out, Kelly didn’t say anything just went into her room about an hour later my husband came back than started screaming literally i my face calling me names telling me he wants a divorce so he can protect Kelly. so I said ok I want a divorce and 50/50 custody I get my son he gets his niece now get the fuck out of my house with his niece
They left and have been staying with his brother since, husband now has to deal with Kelly all the time he wants more therapy to fix our issues so we can get back together and be a family again. They both came over yesterday to collect the last of their stuff and Kelly asked me was it her fault I said yes it was just as much her fault as her uncles (husband)
Husband told me I’m being a monster and Kelly is my daughter whether I admit it or not and I’ve abandoned her when she finally had a stable home that she doesn’t mean to lash out due it’s just due to her trauma and if we work together we can help her work through it
Honestly now I don’t know what to do and feel like an asshole
​
Comments
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teresajs
NTA Your husband only wants back with you to dump Kelly on you again. She's a troubled teen and needs some serious help. Your husband is more interested in feeling like he's helping Kelly (not actually doing the real work involved) than in protecting his own kids.
Hire a good Divorce Attorney. Ask about getting child support for your son and possibly to help your daughter with higher education costs, if that's possible. Also, ask about getting a court order that your husband can't have Kelly around your son, given her past threats against him.

OOP Wife: I will be pushing for supervised visits with Tom as of now he had only had him with me or his sister in law present

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teresajs
But specify that these are to be supervised visits without Kelly present. Your husband seems to have blinders on and can't be trusted to make good decisions without a specific court order.

OOP Wife: In my country supervised visits happen in a centre with a social worker and security present I can call multiple witnesses to make sure she won’t be allowed in

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knittedjedi

In my country supervised visits happen in a centre with a social worker and security present I can call multiple witnesses to make sure she won’t be allowed in

I'm glad you live somewhere where they take child safety seriously.
​
Update - 3 days later
​
So yes the divorce is going forward even tho my husband has begged me to stay because he can’t handle the consequences of his actions and yes he is aitata8482828 he did change a few details and yes this isn’t our first follow out with me blowing up kelly isn’t my daughter and I wanted her out due to THEIR mistreated of Sarah we nearly got divorced last year but he used therapy and my emotional abuse as a tool to manipulate me to stay
Sarah hasn’t spoken much to her father since the first fall out because as people mentioned even on his post leaving a lot out about Kelly and just putting down Sarah it was clear who he only cares about. Sarah said she wants nothing to do with him and has warned family to but out. I’m sick of his emotional and mental abuse towards us for his niece and his threats of divorce to get his way so I hope he makes this easy on everyone
Yes Kelly has had a bad childhood and has suffered but she isn’t my problem anymore I want zero contact with her and will make sure she won’t have contact with my son. I’ve plenty of evidence and witnesses to make it happen I can sound cruel but she can fuck right off she isn’t my kid so I don’t owe her a relationship and regardless of how bad her trauma is she has no right to traumatise others. She could of had a life in America with her grandparents but she refused to learn English
As for my husband being her real dad that’s irrelevant to me because I won’t get the truth and would only cause more issues for my kids who’ve been through enough
Thanks to everyone for the advice I won’t be logging in after tonight and as I’ve said in the comments English isn’t my first language
​
Comments
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dessertchef11
Your ex husband can now deal with Kelly and all her trauma. Good for Sarah for cutting off her father, he clearly sucks at being one for his kids.
Tabernerus
So did you legally adopt her or not? That’s a critical detail.

OOP Wife: No he claimed we did I didn’t want to adopt even when he tried to force me

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I am not the OOP. Please do not harass the OOP.
Please remember the No Brigading Rule and to be civil in the comments

This post is majorly focused on the BM TOP 10 or smallcases that invest in large-cap stocks.
Returns on BM TOP 10 in the past 5 months
https://preview.redd.it/esmhjafqsj0d1.png?width=830&format=png&auto=webp&s=8d8a1353f22df8e537cb5ec25f95d8253f68fe52
​
In the past 5 months, this smallcase has overall given -2.16% returns, whereas the underlying benchmark has given 5.63% returns in the same period. I know the data of investment is for a short-term time period, so they might in future outperform the index, or maybe not. Let's dive into it.
​

1. Research shows that 74% of actively managed funds underperform the benchmark index. This is also mentioned by Bogle in his book, where he states that if you continue to invest in an index fund at the end of the investment journey, you will be above the 85th percentile of people, i.e., 'you can beat 85% of active investors by doing nothing.' I have seen BM's recent video where he was criticizing index investing. However, as soon as he talks about the Nifty, he gives an example of the Nikkei and how it was unable to reach its top in 30 years, completely ignoring the diversity between India and Japan. In Japan, when the bubble crashed in 1992, the PE was around 75-80 (Nifty PE is ~21). Japan, at the time, had majorly exhausted its majorly infrastructure & other development opportunity , and China became the manufacturing hub, limiting Japanese growth opportunities. Whereas India, since Independence, has always been a developing economy and will continue to be at least until 2040, whichever political party comes into power. It will grow. BM completely ignores the US Index because that would be bad for his business, and people won't entertain his product. In my opinion, India will follow the US footsteps in terms of index investing because of the immense growth potential. I have also read BM's book 'The Thoughtful Investor,' where he criticized Sensex by saying, "IF YOU INVESTED AT THE PEAK OF THE HARSHAD MEHTA SCAM, YOU WOULD HAVE MADE NO RETURN FOR THE NEXT 15 YEARS," ignoring the existence of SIP. Any person with even slight knowledge of the market can see a this person's vendetta against index investing. I CAN GUARANTEE YOU THAT IF ANYTHING LIKE JAPAN EVER HAPPENS, THEN EVEN HIS SMALLCASE WOULD BE IN THE SAME BOAT.
2. So, even after reading this, if you still think the BM TOP 10 smallcase is better for you, let's move to the Second Chapter: FEES

https://preview.redd.it/af1570ys0k0d1.png?width=965&format=png&auto=webp&s=3dd7a0d3793db2652b734af682ed87a2ce60fa60
https://preview.redd.it/opya3zg7uk0d1.png?width=402&format=png&auto=webp&s=c7df698775da9362e3e0bf221f3222884c2765a4
FEES is something that was also criticized by Bogle. He mentions that the 'AGENT' who convinces you to invest in his personal FUND/PMS has the main objective of filling their own pockets, not increasing your portfolio. They will attract you with past returns, but as often said, 'past performance is no guarantee of future returns.' Now, the expense ratio of the Navi Nifty Fund is 0.06%. So, if you want to invest an amount more than Rs. 4.72 crores (28320/0.06%), [i.e., if you are confident that he will be able to beat the index consistently in the next 5-10-20 years], Only then you should consider investing in the BM TOP 10 smallcase.

1. If you still want to invest because of the THOUGHT PROCESS, let's move to the **THIRD CHAPTER: THOUGHT PROCESS.**You can check his video when he started this smallcase. His major reason for starting this fund was that he was CONFIDENT OF MULTIPLE INTEREST RATE CUTS BY THE FED in 2024. We all know how this turned out now. The market is currently assuming probably one rate cut at the end of the year. So, basically, his entire reason for starting this smallcase was that the FED would cut interest rates, leading to investment flowing into large-cap stocks. He personally never liked large-caps while labeling most of them as MOTA-HATHI (SLOW MOVERS), which basically means he has no personal conviction towards large-caps other than the interest rate cut, which didn't turn out too well at least for now.
   
2. If you still want to invest because of 'ACTIVE MANAGEMENT' or you think they 'WILL' beat the index, let's move to the FOURTH CHAPTER: ALTERNATIVES.I have selected the first fund that came to my mind, 'QUANT LARGECAP' (you could also check for other alternatives).In the last 5 months, QUANT or some other large-cap funds have given 8~12% returns.
   

https://preview.redd.it/dma64bcz7k0d1.png?width=765&format=png&auto=webp&s=ad050a03a0751081840e865132347f492c5bdcb6
https://preview.redd.it/r6jy1mxz7k0d1.png?width=737&format=png&auto=webp&s=464b1bf3004e65bfc3f9d4d6e30cb42dfc250d0f
https://preview.redd.it/687tnre08k0d1.png?width=726&format=png&auto=webp&s=b7155971ede1c9d21230346e2075df24bf09416a
Now, a fund like QUANT has an expense ratio of 0.59%, which means you should choose BM TOP 10 IF you want to invest more than Rs. 48 Lakhs (considering the fact that BM TOP 10 could beat the QUANT Large Cap Fund consistently in the longer term). This active large-cap fund also invests in futures and options, whether to hedge risk or perform strategies like covered calls, etc., which is likely not to happen in smallcases like BM TOP 10.

1. If you still want to invest because of professional advisory, let's move to the FIFTH CHAPTER: DO IT YOURSELF. f you still consider investing in this smallcase, then you must have a portfolio of at least over 50 Lakhs. It's not as difficult as people want you to believe to invest in stocks. Taking into account that you stick to large-caps (as they are more reliable and less likely to fudge the data), volatility in large-caps is limited, and it's very unlikely for a large-cap to go to zero. AND IF you're still not confident, then you always have can always go back to Nifty ETF or Mutual Fund. (as mentioned at the start 'sometime the best strategy is to do noting'- John Bogle)

And if you think I am personally targeting him for his political view or for any other reason, I have also written this post https://www.reddit.com/IndianStockMarket/comments/196bfwx/basant_maheshwari_what_ive_learned_from_him/?onetap_auto=true&one_tap=true which is +ve stuff about him
You should read "The Little Book of Common Sense Investing" by John Bogle for a better understanding of my points mentioned. Bogle is the person who started the index investing fund Vanguard, and the investment style is named after him, 'BOGLEHEAD.' His investment is also acknowledged by people like Peter Lynch & Warren Buffett.
​

A fanfiction of The Nature of Predators by SpacePaladin15 https://www.reddit.com/HFY/comments/u19xpa/the_nature_of_predators/
Previous Prologue Next
Memory Transcription Subject: Slanek, Venlil Space Corps
Date [standardized Earth time]: August 21, 2136
Walking into the lab, we were welcomed by a Pokemon that looked oddly familiar to me, a pink creature with predatory eyes and small wings that looked completely vestigial. It wasn’t until I saw the Human inspecting a large screen embedded in the wall that I recognised them. Lilith and Sara, who were among the first Terrans to have visited Venlil Prime. Lilith, whose species was the ‘Clefable’ if I remember correctly, gestured for the three of us to come further into the lab.
“Hello there, thank you for coming so soon after settling in! It seems a lot of Venlil are quite excited to do the Infinity Energy tests.”
I give a slightly nervous ear flick in response.
“I uh, really just wanted to get this over and done with.”
“Right, well in that case you’ll be glad to know that this takes no time at all. It’ll be over before you know it, and you’ll have your exchange partners beside you through the whole process.”
I look up at Marcel and Felix, who both give me further reassuring glances. Marcel seems a little nervous though, awkwardly standing just in front of the door and obviously having no idea what he should be doing. As the Clefable leads me over to a chair and gestures for me to take a seat, she passes over a piece of paper and a pen.
“This is the consent form, please read it out completely and carefully before writing your basic information and signature.”
Lilith then bounds away to converse with Sara, who is still looking at the large screen teeming with strange writing and graphs. As I read through the consent form, I only grow more worried.
‘Permanent Infinity Energy infusion.’
‘Monitored for remainder of Space Corps service.’
‘Possibility of previously unknown side effects.’
I look over to Marcel and Felix, beckoning them over with a wave of my tail. Marcel kneels down beside the chair, bringing the three of us to roughly eye level as Felix rests on his shoulder.
“Sorry, but can you two just… stay close? This seems a bit more intense than I was expecting.”
Felix nods furiously, followed by Marcel giving a small, closed mouth smile.
“Of course, we’ll be right here.”
“After this is over, we can all get some food from the cafeteria. A nice salad or something, alright?”
The Human’s suggestion sounds nice, and my tail sways in agreement. I sign the form after reading through it a second time, and Lilith soon comes over to collect it. As she does so, I see Sara walking over with some wires and wool clips. She places them on a nearby table before turning to finally address me.
“Hello Mr Slanek, sorry for the wait. It’s just, the data we’ve gathered so far from the other Venlil is beyond fascinating. It's an amazing opportunity to investigate how life not native to Earth reacts with Infinity Energy and uh… you probably don’t care, sorry.”
With a lightly red hue showing in her cheeks, she grabs the wires and clips, and gets started on attaching them to various points on my body. From my knees to my paws, snout, ears, stomach, chest, tail… almost everywhere, really. This all only makes my nerves grow even more.
“Now, just as a warning, this will probably hurt a bit. It’s only for a moment though, and it just means that everything is working.”
As Sara attaches the last clip to the wool on my back, she walks back over to large screen on the opposite wall, which I am surprised to find now displays a wireframe model of myself. I notice my paws are beginning to shake slightly, and I turn towards my exchange partners, hoping to find solace. Not so long ago, I would never have even fathomed the idea of looking to predators for comfort, but now…
I reach out a shaking paw towards them. After hesitating for a moment, a look of surprise coming over his face, Marcel reaches out and takes hold of it. Felix scurries down the Human’s arm and places his own small paw on top of mine as Marcel gives it a gentle squeeze.
Turning back to the rest of the lab, Sara is swiping her hand to rotate the wireframe model of my body, while Lilith is retrieving something from a large, formerly locked box nearby. She pulls out a small yellow crystal, and walks back over to me. Sara sidles up beside her partner, and double checks the wire clips one last time as the Clefable holds out the crystal to me.
“This is a revive, which will inject Infinity Energy directly into you. Make sure you hold onto it tight, ok?”
I take a deep breath, giving Marcel’s hand and Felix’s paw a gentle squeeze as I do so.
“Understood.”
I reach out with my other paw, and grab onto the revive. For a moment, nothing happens, but then the revive begins to glow. I shut my eyes tight against the blinding light, and tighten my grip on the crystal. A strange sensation, like waves of pressure, emanate from where the revive touches my paw. Through my arm, across my chest, up my neck and down my navel un-
“BRAKH!”
I cry out as pain suddenly engulfs my snout and legs. A loud beeping noise comes from the clips attached to them, which I silently pray means that everything is working as it should. It feels like my legs are trying to rip themselves apart at the knees, and I understand instantly why I’m sat down for this. My snout too lights up, as if on fire without the heat, forcing me to grit my teeth until my jaw starts hurting as well from the preassure alone. I tighten my grip on both the revive and my partners. I feel weight shifting, and Felix’s paw disappears. Not a moment later, something warm and fuzzy jumps up onto the chair beside me, reaching up to rest a paw on my shoulder.
“It’s alright, we’re right here.”
I go to wrap my tail around him, only to find something strange. My tail has gone numb. The mixture of sensations, from numbness to pain, continues for a little while. As the revive breaks down into grey dust, I can finally open my eyes and unclench my teeth. Steadily, the searing pain fades, leaving my tail numb and my snout and legs sore. I breathe deeply again, and I turn my attention to Felix and Marcel. I retrieve my paw from Marcel’s grip and Felix hops back down from the chair. The Human reaches over to lightly pat me on the back.
“There we go, all over now. You did great, Slanek.”
“Th-thanks.”
Lilith comes over and begins detaching the clips from my wool, while Sara is already tapping away at the screen, the wireframe model of my body now looking very different than it was before. The majority of it is now coloured a stark white, although notably my snout and legs are a dimmer shade of muted grey. The only splash of actual colour is in my tail, the entire limb a vivid purple, most intense at the tip. After inspecting it for a moment, Sara turns back around to address me.
“Thank you for coming, Mr Slanek. The full results of this test will be sent to your holopad shortly, but I’ll give you the most important information now.”
Sara taps the screen a few times, and labels written in Venscript appear as a key for the colours.
White – Mixed
Violet – Poison
Grey – Unknown
“Your results are consistent with what we’ve seen in all the other Venlil that have been tested so far. Most of your body contain a mixture of all Types of IE, similar to Humans. Different Venlil seem to have the Poison IE concentrate in different areas of the body, I’ve seen it in arms, abdomen, throat, wool and elsewhere. For you it’s in the tail, which so far seems fairly common. The grey zones are the most interesting, as they’re in the same areas for each and every Venlil; the snout and legs. Combine that with how this energy isn’t quite Normal but also not Typeless, not to mention it’s almost complete lack of reactivity to external or internal stimuli… it will certainly be an area of research I'll happily dive into soon.”
As Sara explains the results of the test, Marcel helps me to stand up again. At first, I’m a little unsteady as my legs still feel slightly odd, but leaning on his arm helps. The numb feeling in my tail slowly fades, and I experimentally shake it back and forth a few times. There is… Poison in it? It doesn’t feel any different, at least at the moment. After Lilith and Sara once again thank me for my cooperation, the three of us are ushered out of the lab, left standing together in the hallway as another mini herd files in after us. I turn to look up at my companions, a slight bloom making its way onto my face.
“Hey, uh, sorry for what happened in there. To predators it’s probably a show of weakness to need someone sticking nearby but-”
“Okay, we’re nipping that ‘weakness’ shit in the bud right now.”
Felix’s surprising angry voice catches me off guard, and for a second I’m worried that I said something to make him mad. I realise that, in a way, I had… but not for the reason I thought.
“Needing a friend ain’t weakness, Slanek. Just look at Marc and I!”
Marcel smiles at the Buizel, before turning his gaze back down at me. His predatory gaze seems stern, and yet somehow friendly, despite that being essentially oxymoronic.
“Slanek, if I’ve learned anything from my time in the military, it’s that ‘weak’ and ‘strong’ are meaningless words in isolation. People can only reach their full potential when they have others lifting them up, whether they be a Human or Pokemon. I doubt Venlil are any different.”
Something flashes through my mind, a memory that Marcel's words invoked. Of course. One of the first pieces of Terran media I saw after First Contact; 'The Power of Us'. Felix nods along excitedly, jumping down from the Human's shoulder to be a bit closer to my level.
“Never call yourself weak again, alright? Marcel and I were already growing stronger with just the two of us, but now we have a brand-new friend? The three of us together will be unstoppable!”
Marcel snickers slightly.
“Not really the angle I was going for, but sure. Anyway, that packet of chips wasn't nearly enough. Like I said earlier, let’s go grab something from the cafeteria, alright?”
Seemingly immediately forgetting the previous topic, Felix’s eyes light up and his tails whir into action.
“Oh! I hope they have Wacan berries!”
As Felix rapidly ascends back up onto Marcel’s shoulder, my own tail begins to sway back and forth again. The predators’ kind words lifted my spirits and cast aside the embarrassment I had felt, spurring me to happily step forwards and follow the Human’s lead towards the station’s cafeteria.
As we made our way through the halls, I paid more attention to the various pairs and trios we passed. The Venlil all ranged from bubbling with excitement, a spring in their step as they walked joyfully beside their partners, to barely containing their fear, shaking slightly as they stuck close to the walls and avoided looking at most of the more predatory looking Pokemon. I wasn’t at either extreme, though I was leaning towards the former. I strode beside Marcel with contentment, mentally thanking my past self for signing up for the program. I was nervous to meet them at first, but it took almost no time at all for me to recognise the friends I had already been speaking to over text for whole herds of paws at this point.
When we reached the cafeteria, the place was already alive with many Terrans and Venlil. Some sat just with their exchange partners, while others gathered into larger herds, with the countless conversations happening between them melding together with the clinking of cutlery. Even out here on this station, with by far the strangest creatures in the Universe, the sound of people enjoying each other’s company was oh so familiar.
The three of us collected our meals and decided just to sit by ourselves, eventually finding a spot near a rather short Venlil sitting with a large, purple serpentine Pokemon that was presumably their partner. As Marcel and I set our meals down on the table, Felix quickly grabs a pastry from Marcel’s tray.
“I call dibs on the Wacan muffin!”
Marcel has selected some sort of soup for himself, while I chose a simple bunt leaf salad, although my serving seemed to have some sort of fruit in it that I didn’t recognise. I prodded the yellow chunks around, trying to determine if I had gotten some underripe juicefruit or something, catching Marcel’s attention.
“That’s Shuca berry. Not really my thing, but it’s decently popular.”
“Oh, it’s an Earth fruit?”
“Yep, looks like the kitchen’s experimenting with mixing cuisines. This soup is… surprisingly spicy.”
Looking up at the Human, I find that his face has turned a slight reddish hue, the flush no doubt signifying that he was struggling. A quick peek at the contents of his meal provides an answer, making me whistle slightly in laughter.
“Ah, that would be firefruit. Fitting name, isn’t it?”
“Fuck, you can say that again.”
As I watch my Human partner gulp down his glass of water, I pick up a few bunt leaves along with a small chunk of the Shuca berry and pop them in my mouth. The yellow fruit goes well with the bunt leaves, providing a mild but nice sweetness with the slightest kick of spice. Though, obviously not nearly as much as Marcel’s firefruit. The Human soon excuses himself to refill his water, Felix throwing a teasing quip his way between bites of the muffin.
“Fire Type doesn’t suit you, Marc!”
While trying to stifle my laughter at my friend’s misfortune, a slightly alarmed, raspy voice coming from my right catches my attention.
“Ssssevik, are you alright?”
Turning to my right, I find the large serpent Pokemon sitting nearby looking at her Venlil partner with concern. He is holding a paw over his stomach and groaning slightly.
“Y-yeah Arbok, I’m fi-fi -hurk-”
He gives a horrible sound somewhere between a burp and a retch, grabbing the attention of a few other people around us.
“Wassss it the berriesss?”
“N-no it’s -hurk- I think is the Pois- -hurk-“
Thinking quickly, one of the nearby Humans passes the Venlil a plastic bag. He accepts it and tries to thank them, only for his attempt to be interrupted by more retching. Just as he seems to lose control of his meal completely, he cries out.
“Gastro Acid!”
Instead of the typically yellowy green, the Venlil expels a thick, deep purple fluid into the bag. After a single powerful heave, the Venlil looks back up, seemingly slightly dizzy. A moment later, a sizzling sound can be heard coming from the bag, the bottom of which soon breaks. The acidic substance spills onto the floor, having corroded through the plastic like it was nothing. For a while, nobody makes a sound, nor barely moves. Venlil, Human and Pokemon alike in our little section of the cafeteria are all staring at the poor little Venlil who in turn has his eyes glued onto the now useless plastic bag. As for the purple acid, it soon fizzles away into nothing, leaving the floor spotless with no evidence that it ever existed.
The sound of approaching footsteps makes me turn around with a slight jump, finding Marcel returning with a new glass of water. His eyes dart first to the silent crowd, then to the small Venlil, then finally to me and Felix.
“Uh, did I miss something?”
Previous Prologue Next
~~~~~~~

NoPokedex

Humans - Typeless
Gojid - Steel/Rock

• Sovlin: Metal Claw & Rollout

Venlil - Normal /Poison

• Kam: ??? & Poison Jab
• Slanek: ??? & ???

Arxur - Dragon/???

• Isif: Dragon Pulse & ???

Tilfish - Bug/Dark
Zurulian - ???/???
Farsul - ???/???
Kolshian - ???/???
Yotul - ???/???
Mazic - ???/???
Dossur - ???/???
Sivkit - ???/???
Krakotl - Flying/???
Harchen - ???/???
Duertan - Flying/???
Thafki - Wate???
Sulean - ???/???
Iftali - ???/???
Drezjin - Flying/???
Jaur - ???/???
Letian - ???/???
Leshee - ???/???
Yulpa - ???/???

This story was written and emailed to me by an anonymous source. And it’s one of the craziest most bizarre stories I’ve ever read. Ever! 😆 Enjoy the read. It’s long and ridiculously wild. ☘️ Also, in advance, no one can use this story. These stories are written and emailed to me for me to turn into a Video Narrative for my YouTube & TikTok channels. But I would like to share their tales as reading material as well. Thank you for understanding.
I hope you enjoy. 🫶
Story by - “Alex” & “Shane”
Okay so…
I went on vacation to Ireland with my brother last year. And had the most wildest experience of my life there.
Or should I say, we both had the most…wildest experience.
But More so me. And to Tell you the truth, I don’t think I’ll ever go back again after what happened.
As a matter of fact, no, I won’t go back.
So, it’s a Sunday night and it was pretty much our last day of vacationing.
My older brother Shane, wanted to go out… And I’m quoting him - “let’s get fuckin wasted tonight!”
So… We’re on vacation right? Why not? We had rented an Airbnb for the week, we had a rental car - we had a great week so far and we were having…
A proper vacation.
He was already dressed up and ready to go. I wanted to take a quick shower and shave so I told him to head out and I’d call him when I was ready for him to pick me up.
He says cool. He leaves, and I jump in the shower. He’s the one that knows the hot spots in Ireland better than I do. I mean, this was my first time ever coming here. So…
I take a shower, shave, and I get dressed. As I’m about to call my brother, the front door to our Airbnb opens up.
And Its my brother with two bad ass Irish women! They both jump on the couch and they’re laughing their asses off and my brother is just standing there looking at me with a sly grin on his face.
He looks over at the ladies and says - “Give me a minute please” walks over to me, puts his arm over my shoulder and walks me to the bathroom. He then whips out a bag of mushrooms and smiles. Ya know… The psychedelic kind.
I look down at the bag and I shake my head.
He says to me - “come on bro. We got two hotties out there who are trippin and they want to party. Don’t be a flake. This is our last night. Let’s make it special.”
I don’t like disappointing my brother but I was kind of hesitant.
I opened the bathroom door and take a look at these gorgeous women who were both sitting upright now and both looking at me as I opened the door. Both smiling. I smiled back. Closed the door… I looked at my brother and said - “Alright dood fuck it! Let’s do it!”
He gives me a huge hug, kisses me on the forehead, pours me a handful of shrooms and does the same for himself.
We both looked at each other to see who would go first. He counted to three and down the hatch they went. But they were the most unpleasant tasting mushrooms I’ve ever eaten in my life. They were disgusting.
I ran to the fridge and grabbed a bottle of juice because I was having a hard time chewing these nasty things.
But my brother Shane? No, he’s a pro. You give that guy a barrel of hay and he’ll eat it faster than a horse. The guy can eat anything.
40 minutes go by and I’m still straight as a pin. However, my brother on the other hand? He’s already trippin.
I think he had already taken some beforehand.
But in the next 10 minutes… These shrooms hit me like a ton of bricks! It was like this intense wave of cool and hot went completely through my body.
And I’ve taken mushrooms quite a few times but have never felt anything like this before. It was so sudden!
And I feel fantastic!
The next hour went by so fast because we were having so much fun! And these Irish girls? Man… I had the sexiest one! A beautiful Redhead by the name of Katrina.
She was kind of short though. About 5’1” maybe? But good things come in small packages, right? Well, not really. And you’ll know why soon enough.
I don’t recall anything else that happened for the rest of the night after my brother left with the other girl. And before I continue with the rest of the story. My brother’s name is really not Shane. And the redhead girl I was with is not named Katrina.
You see I had to make up these names to protect me and my brother. Because what happened during the rest of the night? I don’t remember. But also, I’ll never forget either.
Okay so, let's get back to the story…
I do remember my brother leaving with… Let's just call her Gloria, Katrina’s friend? And me and Katrina, the redhead, stood behind. I do remember us making out in the bathroom together, but…Everything else after that? There’s nothing there. Nothing. I don’t recall anything from that point forward no matter how badly I try to remember.
This is what my brother told me he witnessed as he arrived back at the Airbnb five hours later with Gloria.
And until this day, I still don’t want to believe this happened. But according to my brother…
It truly did happen.
My brother is going to write this part of the story because he’s the one that has this locked in his memory for life. And for the sake of the story, my name will be Alex.
Here is my brother Shane’s point of view - his perspective on what he witnessed that crazy night. Wow man… This is so fucking nuts. So buckle up and be prepared. I understand you don’t know who I am, but I swear, I’m not a bad person. Okay.

• “Shane’s” story on what he witnessed.

Yeah so, I guess I’m Shane now. Unreal…
Okay. Here we go. Meat and potatoes.
We arrive back at the Airbnb and I see Alex outside in the front of the house wearing only socks and he’s running around on top of the grass like an animal yanking out handfuls of grass from underneath him.
I look at Gloria and we’re both baffled at what we just saw.
First thing I said was - “Oh yeah! This dood is off his rocker right about now - as I parked the car.
We both hop out of the car and walk up to the front door. I slide the key into the door, it unlocks, but there’s a chair behind the door and it’s tipped over blocking the entry way and only leaving enough space for a crack. We both awkwardly look at one another and as I’m about to call out for my brother, I hear someone sprinting towards the door and bang!
The fuckin idiot shuts the door on us.
I then knock on the door softly because It’s almost 1 in the morning as I don’t want to make too much noise. God only knows what this kid has been doing since me and Gloria left.
After I knock on the door a few times, I hear the chair getting pushed to the side and my brother slightly opens the door. I take a peek inside, and his nose is broken, lips are bubbled up and his left eye is completely shut, black and blue and swollen.
He then drops to his knees, and begins crying but no sound is coming out of him! You know… Like when you get smacked by your parents when you’re a kid and it shocks the soul of you? Yeah, that kind of cry.
I don’t react to what he’s doing to not scare the shit out of Gloria, because she’s right beside me. So I push the door open and tell Gloria to hang on a second and shut the door and lock it.
I pick his busted ass up and sit him on the couch. I look around the house and it’s in complete shambles. Our clothes are everywhere, there’s food all over the fuckin walls. It was chaotic. And my brother is now sitting up breathing frantically.
I ask him - “what in the fuck happened?”
He looks at me. Face looking like he got into a boxing match with Rocky Marciano and whispers to me.
“Dood… There’s a leprechaun in the bathroom.”
“A fuckin what now?” - I said with the most bewildered look on my face. I mean I must have… I wish I would have taken a picture of my face at that very moment. I should have taken pictures of everything so this idiot could see the havoc he wreaked on that night.
My imbecile brother continues - “I’m telling you. There’s a fuckin leprechaun in the fuckin bathroom and this little lucky charms motherfucker won’t tell me where he hid the gold!”
“A leprechaun in the bathroom. What the fuck happened to you?” I said as I felt my blood beginning to boil.
The Imbecile then says - “Don’t worry. Don’t worry! I hogtied that little bitch and stuffed my underwear in its mouth. It’s in the bathtub. But don’t go in there. Don’t go in there. This thing fucked me up!”
And now I can hear someone fumbling in the bathroom moaning very softly. I looked at my brother and said - “What in the fuck did you do Alex?”
He replies - “I’m telling you. It’s a fucking leprechaun.”
“Okay. Okay.” - I said. “Stay right here and just, don’t move. Don’t do anything. Just keep still.
His eyes were so huge and dilated. He was so fuckin high. He had heartbeat pulses pumping from the top of his head.
I rushed back over to the front door and told Gloria that my brother got into a fight with a couple of guys at a pub while me and her were out and that her friend Katrina left because she got scared. She told me that was the first time she met that girl tonight so she really didn’t care and shrugged it off. Which was a huge relief to me. I told her thank you for a wonderful night. She understood. W said our goodbyes. I shut the door. And now… What the fuck is in the bathroom? Or better yet, who, is in the bathroom? Because let’s face it. This motherfucker did not find and fight with a leprechaun tonight. No way. There’s just no fuckin way.
I rush over to the bathroom and my brother leaps at my legs, and he’s holding onto me for dear life, begging me!
He says - “Please don’t untie it! It’s got magical powers! PLEASE!!!
Now, at this very moment? I am sort of hesitant about opening the bathroom door. But I snap out of it and open it. What the fuck. A leprechaun? No, I don’t think so.
I open the door…
“Holy shit.” - I said while covering my hands with my mouth. The floor was smeared in blood as if someone was dragged, leading to the huge cast iron tub. Smeared bloody handprints were all over the tub. And now I hear the faint moan coming from the tub. My legs are shaking and feel like they’re ready to give out on me. I was scared shitless.
“What did my brother do? Who is in that bathtub? I pray to God Katrina isn’t in there right now.” - I said to myself completely freaked out.
I slowly walk up to the bathtub…
And sure enough, there is a hogtied person lying in it with my brother's underwear stuffed in their mouth with a ripped t-shirt tied around their head and mouth, but… It’s not Katrina.
It’s a little person. You know, a dwarf? And… He’s literally dressed up in a leprechaun costume…
And how, on God's green earth did he end up here?
He has no idea I’m standing above him. I reach down to begin untying him but he begins squirming and screaming. I told him to relax and that I was here to help him.
And then My imbecile brother Alex, rushes into the bathroom and tackles me down. Stands up and begins shouting at this poor bastard hogtied in the tub - “Tell me where it is you greedy little fuck! Tell me!!!
I jumped to my feet and slapped my brother back to his childhood. Grabbed him by the throat, tripped him and threw him to the ground and said - “are you fuckin crazy? Do you want to go to prison for kidnapping? What in the fuck is the matter with you? You dumb fuck!!”
He then looks up at me with this pessimistic look on his face and says - “It’s a fucking leprechaun dood. A leprechaun.”
I was absolutely dumbfounded and furious at this point. I have this stranger in my Airbnb rental, hogtied and gagged and squirming and screaming and my brother thinks that he’s a leprechaun…
I can’t make this shit up.
He was so fucking high on those mushrooms. He was absolutely convinced that this man was a leprechaun. So… I had to play the game.
It was the only way to help this poor son of a bitch that my brother had kidnapped and hogtied in our Airbnb rental.
I calmly whispered and told him to please leave the bathroom so I could interrogate the leprechaun and find out where he was hiding the pot of gold.
My brother slowly stood up to his feet, face busted up, his cock and balls all shriveled and tight, looked at the man dressed up as a leprechaun, smiled at him with an evil grin and just, walked away…
And as he walked away, I told him to go and please put some clothes on, lay down in bed, and that I would handle the leprechaun. That I, would find out where the gold was hidden…
And that’s all I’m saying. I’m giving the computer back to my dumbass of a brother to finish off whatever else he wants to write.

• Back to “Alex”

Pretty outlandish right? I know. I know. You must think that I’m bat shit crazy huh? Okay so, to make the rest of this long story short, my brother Shane never told me what he did with the poor guy I hogtied and, well… i don’t remember how this guy came to be in my possession. I really don’t.
The only thing my brother Shane told me was that he ungagged him, untied him, and that he was extremely pissed off. And that he had compensated him for his troubles.
Man, I felt so horrible. I felt so horrible…
What I do remember though is waking up that following afternoon with my face all fucked up. Dehydrated with a tremendous splitting headache. I had no clue as to why I looked and felt the way I did. It was terrifying.
All of our luggage was packed and my brother was just sitting there, legs crossed and his arms folded.
Hey man… Take it from me. Don’t do fuckin drugs.
Regards, “Alex” & “Shane”
Disclaimer- This story may not be used for anything other than reading, sharing your thoughts and enjoying it. It is now protected by the United States Library of Congress/Copyright Office. Thank you. ☘️

hey.
i've been involved with this guy since Feb of this year and the relationship has mainly been through texting as we live quite a bit away. we have only met up in person once and that date went alright besides some red flags i'll get into. also, he also proposes us seeing each other, but then something always comes up.
we're honestly kind of looking for the same thing, a committed and exclusive relationship, but it seems like this guy is rushing things way too fast. he's already talking about us getting married; but i have noticed some red flags.
some of the red flags i've noticed:
-when we first met, i was just getting off of work at 3am. he called me drunk a few hours prior asking if he should come up and see me. i felt pressured so i said yes. i get off at 3am, get home around 5am, and had to buy a laptop later that day, so i felt like he completely took over my day and chances to get some rest.
-he lies. here are some things he's lied about:

• his racial/cultural background. he first told me he's Chilean and Italian, then when i meet him, he says he's "part Jewish". not a big deal, but okay
• where he works. when i first asked he said the same company in one town, but when i asked again, he said the same company in a completely different town when i can SWEAR it was the first town.
• stuff coming up when we're supposed to meet. when i do want to see him, he always tells me that he's coming to visit me, etc. but then he goes ghost and says something came up like taking his mom to the doctor -- i check his Instagram and he's at the beach.
• i think he blocked me. i text him something and green bubbles show up... okay? so i text him on Instagram asking what happened and things magically go back to normal and he comes up with some bullshit like his phone got hacked. keep in mind, this is the only time this has happened.

-my phone announces to my contacts when i'm in "Do Not Disturb"; he texted and asked me why i always keep my phone in DND. am i not allowed to have my privacy and free time?
-weird stares: when we first saw each other, he did this really weird stare. i know it's perfectly normal to take glimpses of your partner in adoration, but he was giving me this cold dead stare when i was facing away from him. i have mild anxiety and noticed the stare and nervously asked him about it. he said something to the effect of, "oh i'm not allowed to look at you?" left me speechless
-he offered to buy us some tea. we get to the counter to pay and for some reason he does not have any working payment cards and only $100 bills on him, so i had to cover. he offered to get me back, but i'm still waiting. this one was pretty egregious.
-i texted his ex asking what i should look out for. the ex basically said that he prays and hopes that he changed, but if not, to get the fuck away ASAP. i asked him to tell me more info, but he flat out refuses to saying that he does not want any part in this.
-last but not least, we have only been talking since February and have only met in person (completely on his terms) once and he wants to get married:

• he told me when people ask what i am to him, i am his, "future husband"
• i made some comment on his last name because i honestly like saying it, he asked me if i'd take it when we got married. (again, talking about marriage so soon)

i was telling him that i was planning on going back into the US Air Force or maybe shoot for the Space Force. he is really insistent on getting married before i ship out; which i don't know when that will be, but hopefully soon. again, i brought it up with him and he said that he, "wants a ring on his finger" before i ship out.
the thing is, what would the point of getting married be? once i ship out, i will be in basic training in Texas (we live in the Northeast) for 7.5 weeks. then after that, i'll have to go to technical school for my career field that will probably be a few more months in a place that's thousands of miles away.
the soonest i could be back where we live would probably be 5/6 months and it would only be for 12 days for the recruiters assistance program (if i do get that approved), after that i'm on to my first duty station and i have no idea where that will be.
so i'm curious. this person is looking to be a walking red flag, has no problems lying to me, creepy, controlling, etc. and he still wants to marry me when i've made it abundantly clear that i'm going to be away for quite a while. i asked him why he still wants to do this and he said something like, "I'm loyal, you'll have someone waiting for you when you get back".
does anyone have any idea why he still wants to get married? i really, really, REALLY, need help making sense of it all.
thank you so much.

After sixty-seven sessions of Curse of Strahd (read all about it here), it was time for a change. So into the wild we went...
My group is nearing the end of Hither, and along the way I've written summaries of each session ("What Just Happened?"), along with interesting/funny quotes from PCs/NPCs ("Certain Things Were Said"), and a list of new characters introduced that session ("Dramatis Personae").
My intention is to write the summaries for each of the five parts of the campaign in a different format. For the Witchlight Carnival, each summary was presented in verse (my own, no machine learning shortcuts!), using the metre and rhyming structure of various Lewis Carrol poems.
I'd like to share my summaries/poems with you all here, for posterity, and in the hope you'll find them entertaining.
For reference, the players are:

• Holafina (a harengon paladin who has lost three inches of height)
• Skerrek (a kobold druid who has lost the ability to lie)
• Arix (an owlin monk who has lost all sense of direction and is always hungry)
• Jexim (a brash fairy warlock who has lost his diary)
• Sylenos (a beatnik/slacker satyr rogue employed by the Carnival)

NOTE: Lewis Carroll was known to hide secret messages in his poems. I've done the same, revealing the campaign's big twist in one of the poems below. None of my players have picked up on it.

Part I: Welcome to the Witchlight

What Just Happened? (in the style of Jabberwocky)
’Twas twilight when the carnival Did open wide two golden gates, And those with tickets did arrive, Seeking things they had misplaced.
One harengon of curious size, A kobold with a slithy gait, An owlet who possessed two eyes As wide as Annam’s dinner plates.
Yet are we three or are we four? Let’s add vibrations rarefied: A Witchlight hand here to ensure That every guest is Satyrs-fied!
Enter now and taste the sounds, Feel these colours, smell those sights! Kaleidoscopic fun abounds This synaesthesiac’s delight!
Yet where’s the drama? Where’s the tension? Certainly we’ve had a switch (At least in here there is no mention Of that cad von Zarovich).
Instead let’s race a giant snail, Eat candied mushrooms by the pound, Or listen to a gnome assail The tightness of your mother’s gown.
Yet hark! A misadventure glum! Those not heroes please give berth! The best laid plans of love undone By Tasha’s wild unruly mirth
These mirrored halls! This desperate task, To find a luckless paramour A sweet-toothed lass with porcine mask That you could swear you’ve seen before…
’Twas twilight when the carnival Did open wide two golden gates And those with tickets did arrive, Now guided by the wiles of fate.
Dramatis Personae
Arix Specklefoot, a sweet-toothed owlin Holafina, a curiously short harengon Skerrek Tirael, a slithy kobold Sylenos, a cosmic satyr Nicholas Midnight, elderly goblin ticketmaster at the Witchlight Carnival Candlefoot, a mime and not by choice Rubin Sugarwood, a lovesick halfling Ween Sundapple, his laugh-sick paramour Glorange Turple, a poetry gnome
Certain Things Were Said
“I am worried about your ability to sense vibrations that I cannot.” - Skerrek Tirael
“Tymore, goddess of good fortune! Look well upon Shellymoo this day!” - Holafina
“Hate to say it, man, but that gnome really insulted your mother.” - Sylenos
“Snacks?” - Arix Specklefoot

Part II: Lost and Found

What Just Happened? (In the style of The Walrus and the Carpenter )
"The time has come," the Satyr said, "To talk of many things: Of poems—and props—and Jeremy Plum— Of crowns and pixie kings— And why things here keep getting lost— And what this pig-girl means."
"But wait a bit," the Owlin cried, "Before our minds do meet, For some of us are pretty spooked, And I would like a treat!" "No hurry!" said the Satyr, And kicked up cloven feet.
The Owlin and the Kobold Were walking close at hand, They smiled like anything to see The gates of Pixie Land. "If we could only stay a while,” They said, "it would be grand!"
The Satyr sighed so sulkily, Because he thought that Plum Had got no business to be there When all was said and done. (“It's rude of him," the Kobold said, "To try and spoil our fun!")
"Oi, Satyr," said the pixie king, "You've had a pleasant run! Should you be getting back to work?” But answer came there none And this was scarcely odd, because He had real beef with Plum.
Now Arix made a hamster friend Who offered up some clues. The others tried the riding-pug: A pleasant thing to do! (“The pug is fine," the Rabbit said, "But he’s no Shellymoo.”)
"How nice of you to come!” said Plum, "You all are oh-so kind!" Puddlemud said nothing as His teeth began to grind. The Owlin and the Kobold cheered: “That was our FAVORITE ride!”
“A wooden crown," fair Jexim said, Is what we need to come Our way along with golden paint For some un-princely sum.” The others stared, confused, and said: “Now where did YOU come from?”
‘Twas then the party dared approach The famous Mystery Mine Where psychedelic spectacles Broke the Satyr’s mind. (“I really wish,” Zephixo sighed, “You wouldn’t ride while high”).
Next Dirla pulled all kind of things Out of his wagon/portal: Bottles, bunnies, candlesticks, A shining blade of vorpal (Incidentally, there’s a word That kind of rhymes with purple).
“If you put your mind to it And searched for long enough, Do you suppose," the party said, "That you could find our stuff?" "I doubt it," said dear Dirlagraun, And gave a bitter huff.
Then he gave the Harengon The greatest gift by far: A copy of “Gnome On The Run” And bid them au revoir (Morgie would have laughed at that While trying to type slash “R”).
“I do believe,” the Satyr said, “That something is not right, And think we ought to pay a call To Messers Witch and Light.” “I think we ought,” the Owlin said “To first stop for a bite.”
But in their way old Thaco stood, A clown grown grim and surly: “Rabbit! Owlin! Pixie! Skink! You aren’t allowed to be-“ The Fairy interrupted him: “Wait, WHAT did you call me?”
Poor Thaco cried: “Things move too fast! And have since my debut In R-1: To the Aid of Falx From Nineteen Eighty Two! And if you’d seen what I have seen Then you’d smoke bubbles, too!”
Finally he stepped aside, At last the way was clear. The Satyr ambled stealthily With open eyes and ears And pressed them to a wagon large To see what he could hear.
"The time has come," Witch and Light said, "To talk of things galore Of prizes—plans—and kenku pests— and ever so much more— But first we’d better ask inside Those spying at our door!”
Dramatis Personae
Jexim, a puzzled, puzzling fairy Jeremy Plum, operator of the Pixie Kingdom and bestower of silly names Biscuit, a talkative hamster Pinecone, a riding-pug Zephixo, dwarven inventor and mastermind behind the Mystery Mine Ernest Wilde, middle-aged calliope master currently inhabiting the body of his pet monkey Marigold, his button-collecting goblin assistant Dirlagraun, a kindly but inefficient displacer beast, minder of lost children and property Thaco, a bubble-smoking clown who is long past his prime
Certain Things Were Said
"Worried I was, with talk of missing supper." - Arix Specklefoot
"Could you not just purchase a new pair?" - Skerrek Tirael "Not like this, man." - Sylenos
"If you'd see the things I've seen, you'd smoke a bubble pipe, too." - Thaco
"Is this it?" - Dirlagraun "NO." - Everyone

Part III: On the Trail of the Kenku

What Just Happened? (In the style of The Hunting of the Snark)
"Where the heck is our stuff? We just want to know This Harengon ain't getting bigger, Arix has no idea of where to go And lies send poor Skerrek a-quiver!"
"Would you get back to work?" Mister Light cried, Twirling his cane with a smile, "Otherwise find where this kenku pest hides; She's cramping this carnival's style!"
"Well, that was a bust," said our heroes, conferring, "Anyone got a suggestion? If we need to pull strings to get back our things Then there are some folk we should question."
"Time's an illusion, free will a delusion!" Sylenos' mentor decreed, "Get a contusion battling occlusions, Or relax and have some of this…wait, what was I saying?"
Sylenos proclaimed: "A genius flawed!" "A man/dragon ahead of his time." Skerrek looked at his claws; Holafina at paws, And the other two just rolled their eyes
"A centuar I'm not! I just made a bad trade The "Cloppinton's" just serendipitous, Now lend me your aid and you'll maybe persuade These horsies to drop some significance."
Then they took to the skies on a dragonfly ride (Holafina and Skerrek abreast), When you're this high there's just nowhere to hide (And to which Sylenos attests)
Now Skerrek honed on a runaway gnome Who was fleeing the carnage with glee, Holafina struck home and that's it for this poem For the gnome was the kenku, you see.
Dramatis Personae
Mister Witch, a matter-of-fact elf, devoid of pretense Mister Light, a flamboyant elf, luminous and coy Burly, a philosophical, pumpkin-helmeted bugbear Mandragon, a seeker of truth (and not much else) Diana Cloppington, a centaur who is apparently not, operator of the Carousel Northwind, a very forthcoming treant, operator of the Dragonfly Rides
Certain Things Were Said
"There’s something weird going on. For some reason everyone thinks I don’t do anything around the carnival." - Sylenos
"It's true, Miss Cloppinton! We've ALL lost things." - Arix Specklefoot
"Wait, when did we have biscuits?" - Jexim

Part IV: Through the Looking Glass

What Just Happened? (In the style of A Boat Beneath a Sunny Sky)
Now hear the Kenku’s strange reply (As Arix struggles to apply Triage to these pixie guys)
Asking questions, getting nought Set her on a different course: High sabotage without remorse!
And what has got her so irate Is what’s she trying to intimate: Zybilna has been quiet of late!
Ignore the rest, and let’s take flight To confront dear Witch and Light (Surprisingly, they’re quite contrite)
To keep the carnival in motion A tapestry of lies was woven: A deal with the Hourglass Coven!
Who take from those who can’t afford Entrance through the Witchlight’s doors Miscellanea adored
So THAT’s who taken all your junk! Time to find these Hourglass punks! Which way to this Feywild dump?
But first we’ll make a brief aside So Candlefoot can vocalise His mermaid love (now legalised)
Now the pair can tie the knot And while we’re passing time why not Ride the fabled Bubble Pot?
Yet ere you all are translocated (Everybody’s breath now bated) Arix must be coronated!
The time of truth has come at last Hesitation as you pass Though the hallowed looking glass
Are you afraid to lose your minds? What lies ahead? What lies behind? What do you expect to find?
Will Skerrek ever fabricate? Or Holafina emulate A bunny’s median height and weight?
Shall Jexim’s memoirs find acclaim? Can Monty locate Bobbitt Fane? (…hang on, that’s a different game)
Does Arix ever find the door? And will Sylenos flee the cause To study unemployment law?
Dramatis Personae
Kettlesteam, a mischievous patron of Zybilna Paleesha, a mellifluous mermaid, now reunited with Candlefoot
Certain Things Were Said
“Sylenos, perhaps in eight years you can come back and find your lost employment.” - Skerrek
“Ask me where the exit is.” - Arix Specklefoot “Where is the exit?” - Mister Light “I don’t know.” - Arix

I am 17 and live with my mom, her partner and my grandparents. The only family member that knows I'm trans is my mom and she doesn't support me in any way. She has known for over 2 years now and despite our many "discussions" where I cried and begged her to change my name in school papers, she still hasn't called me in any masculine form even once (note: in polish, every adjective and verb you use towards another person has to be gendered, example: zrobił (masc for 'did'), zrobiła (fem for 'did'). Before I even came out, she once yelled at me and said she's ashamed to admit I'm her kid, just because on that day I wore a 'boyish' outfit. Now she uses arguments such as that I'm just insecure about my femininity, that it's because of my social anxiety, that I'm searching for something to blame my other problems for, that I'm a kid and I don't know what I'm doing, that it's because I "walked away from god" and other shit, she even asked me to go to a fucking EXORCIST. The only thing I wanted her to do was to change my name in school since I can't do it myself as a minor, I never even expected to be called by my new name by her, I knew that expectation was pointless. Over time, I stopped caring about or expecting her support, because when I'm 18 i'll just do everything myself. But that's the problem. You see, my family is very conservative, especially my grandparents. I've heard them insult anything even slightly "progressive" (note: if not going to church is progressive, then being trans is the epitomy of wokeness that they demonize so much) many times, they always called any queer people deviants, pedos, evil, degenerates, said that I'm "the devil's follower" when I defended the lgbt movement that was demonized by the tv at the time. They don't know I'm trans, and they don't need to with things as they are right now, but once I'll turn 18 and finally start medical transition, they will eventually know. Them throwing mean words at me when they do is not the problem, the problem is that it could geniuenly affect their health. Whenever I talked with my mom about it, she always emphasized that they cannot find out and that they could even get a heart attack. And I don't think she was exaggerating. See, if you live your whole life perceiving a certain thing as wrong, evil, spending years and years consuming political propaganda against a certain worldview that the thing is associated with, live in a bubble reassuring you that, yes, the thing is bad and you should never be that thing and then find out that your only grandchild is said thing, your reaction will be bad to say the least, especially if you're old and have health issues. It would really not be a problem if they just hated me as a queer person and wouldn't want to have anything to do with me, but I know they love me very much and they can't just treat me as any other trans person out there. They are a whole different generation with a different mentality and I know there's no way for them to accept those things, they don't need to, they don't need to accept me, but I don't want to cause them any actual mental or physical harm that finding out would bring them. At the same time, I don't want to keep being unhappy and living inside this female body just because of them, as bad as it sounds, I don't want to waste my whole youth waiting until they die to finally start living my life. The only person who supports me is my only friend who's trans too. I'm jealous of him, I feel awful for feeling that way, but feelings aren't something you can control. He's had his name changed in school only after 1 year of finding out he's trans. I've known that I'm a boy since I was 13 and still no progress in this regard. He's been treated as a boy by his class even before that change, and a teacher even went out of her way to offer him help just because he presented masculine and started calling him his name without the change in papers. In my case, some people in class do respect me, because I always introduced myself using my male name, others don't, I don't have any friends in class and I'm always included as one of the girls, the only teachers that know is one that won't call me using the male form in front of class, because "without permission from a parent, she could get in legal trouble", the other is my homeroom teacher who literally called me a boy on the very first day of high school when she had no idea who I was, but then she read my legal name and never adressed the topic ever again, even tho she heard countless times how I introduced myself with my male name. I'm glad that my friend is happy and I don't want to drag him down with me, but it doesn't change that I can't shake off that feeling of jealousy. My other friend said that "anime has fucked up my head" when I told her, and only started respecting it when I sent her a rant message about my life as a trans guy after she called me my deadname of social media. I had a girlfriend who cheated on me with a cis guy multiple times, he was so jealous of me being her boyfriend that he was beating me, started misgendering me despite being nice at the beggining and told me to overdose my antidepressants and kms. As a child, I've never been "boyish", I didn't like 'boys' toys, I've never liked sports, I've never had friends who were boys, I was a girly girl and that makes my mom conclude that I'm not really trans and makes even me have doubts, even tho for 4 years I've craved nothing else than having a male body and being seen as a boy. Every day I ask why I had to get gender dysphoria, it makes the whole life so much harder, I hate being trans, I wouldn't wish it on anyone, everything would be so much easier if I'd just be a girl.

I am 17 and live with my mom, her partner and my grandparents. The only family member that knows I'm trans is my mom and she doesn't support me in any way. She has known for over 2 years now and despite our many "discussions" where I cried and begged her to change my name in school papers, she still hasn't called me in any masculine form even once (note: in polish, every adjective and verb you use towards another person has to be gendered, example: zrobił (masc for 'did'), zrobiła (fem for 'did'). Before I even came out, she once yelled at me and said she's ashamed to admit I'm her kid, just because on that day I wore a 'boyish' outfit. Now she uses arguments such as that I'm just insecure about my femininity, that it's because of my social anxiety, that I'm searching for something to blame my other problems for, that I'm a kid and I don't know what I'm doing, that it's because I "walked away from god" and other shit, she even asked me to go to a fucking EXORCIST. The only thing I wanted her to do was to change my name in school since I can't do it myself as a minor, I never even expected to be called by my new name by her, I knew that expectation was pointless. Over time, I stopped caring about or expecting her support, because when I'm 18 i'll just do everything myself. But that's the problem. You see, my family is very conservative, especially my grandparents. I've heard them insult anything even slightly "progressive" (note: if not going to church is progressive, then being trans is the epitomy of wokeness that they demonize so much) many times, they always called any queer people deviants, pedos, evil, degenerates, said that I'm "the devil's follower" when I defended the lgbt movement that was demonized by the tv at the time. They don't know I'm trans, and they don't need to with things as they are right now, but once I'll turn 18 and finally start medical transition, they will eventually know. Them throwing mean words at me when they do is not the problem, the problem is that it could geniuenly affect their health. Whenever I talked with my mom about it, she always emphasized that they cannot find out and that they could even get a heart attack. And I don't think she was exaggerating. See, if you live your whole life perceiving a certain thing as wrong, evil, spending years and years consuming political propaganda against a certain worldview that the thing is associated with, live in a bubble reassuring you that, yes, the thing is bad and you should never be that thing and then find out that your only grandchild is said thing, your reaction will be bad to say the least, especially if you're old and have health issues. It would really not be a problem if they just hated me as a queer person and wouldn't want to have anything to do with me, but I know they love me very much and they can't just treat me as any other trans person out there. They are a whole different generation with a different mentality and I know there's no way for them to accept those things, they don't need to, they don't need to accept me, but I don't want to cause them any actual mental or physical harm that finding out would bring them. At the same time, I don't want to keep being unhappy and living inside this female body just because of them, as bad as it sounds, I don't want to waste my whole youth waiting until they die to finally start living my life. The only person who supports me is my only friend who's trans too. I'm jealous of him, I feel awful for feeling that way, but feelings aren't something you can control. He's had his name changed in school only after 1 year of finding out he's trans. I've known that I'm a boy since I was 13 and still no progress in this regard. He's been treated as a boy by his class even before that change, and a teacher even went out of her way to offer him help just because he presented masculine and started calling him his name without the change in papers. In my case, some people in class do respect me, because I always introduced myself using my male name, others don't, I don't have any friends in class and I'm always included as one of the girls, the only teachers that know is one that won't call me using the male form in front of class, because "without permission from a parent, she could get in legal trouble", the other is my homeroom teacher who literally called me a boy on the very first day of high school when she had no idea who I was, but then she read my legal name and never adressed the topic ever again, even tho she heard countless times how I introduced myself with my male name. I'm glad that my friend is happy and I don't want to drag him down with me, but it doesn't change that I can't shake off that feeling of jealousy. My other friend said that "anime has fucked up my head" when I told her, and only started respecting it when I sent her a rant message about my life as a trans guy after she called me my deadname of social media. I had a girlfriend who cheated on me with a cis guy multiple times, he was so jealous of me being her boyfriend that he was beating me, started misgendering me despite being nice at the beggining and told me to overdose my antidepressants and kms. As a child, I've never been "boyish", I didn't like 'boys' toys, I've never liked sports, I've never had friends who were boys, I was a girly girl and that makes my mom conclude that I'm not really trans and makes even me have doubts, even tho for 4 years I've craved nothing else than having a male body and being seen as a boy. Every day I ask why I had to get gender dysphoria, it makes the whole life so much harder, I hate being trans, I wouldn't wish it on anyone, everything would be so much easier if I'd just be a girl.